#wuthering waves angst

[n0tamused]

I don't k know if your busy or not but is it alright with you doing a Jiyan x injured reader? Like one day reader got hurt and decide to not tell Jiyan but he soon found out?

Thank you for your time and have a great day/noon/night

Contents: Jiyan x GN!Reader, angst, ends on a better note, hope you enjoy this anon :)

Thundering drums fill his ears with their haunting echoes as he raced through the sea of moving soldiers. 

Strands of his hair were loose from its ponytail with more strands sticking to his sweaty forehead, small parts matted with mud and dust. His clothes weren't shown any more mercy, with parts cut here and there with blood speckled throughout. Yet, it wasn't his clothes and hair that were haunting, but his face. Pale and eyes wide, devoid of any emotion in particular and looking like two deep voids that threatened anyone they looked at.

Jiyan’s heart was echoing, drumming and beating, but he couldn't feel any of it with how cold his very blood felt - he could swear he was dead and this was hell.

He rushed through into the open corner of the base dedicated for treating the injured, his eyes jumping from one face to the other, searching.

His feet had a mind of their own as they walked past the injured and the unconscious, sparing them some looks and bathed words of reassurance, his tone so soft that, were he in a better mindset, he would've asked whether the other even heard him properly.

There!

His mind yells, jumping at the first sign of the familiar head of hair. It's you! His heart leaps further up until he can taste the metal wash over his tongue. Days have passed since he has seen you vanish off the battlefield and he had grown restless by the day, wishing he could deny the possibility that you could be gone forever. So when word reached him you were found injured and brought back to the medics, he was racing at first chance.

He is quick as the wind, running up to where you were laying, arms and torso all up in bandages, the smell of medicine and herbs so heavy in the air it made even his nose scrunch. “Y/n!” he calls to you when he sees your lashes fluttering, one sign you were awake, and your movement the second sign. You are alive, despite a little voice in his head telling him this is just a cruel illusion. His hand finds yours, fingers curling around it and holding it, closer to him, feeling your warmth before two fingers slide to the inside of your wrist out of pure instinct to feel your life pulse for himself.

“Ji..Jiyan?” 

“It is me, (Y/n).. Are you in pain, are you alright?” His mind is reeling with questions and all the ways to scold you but he can’t bring himself to be angry, he lost the capacity to be angry at you ages ago - he just feels scared, the empty abyss within him yawning for reassurance of your state and yearning to swallow you into its void where you couldn’t come to harm.

“I..I’m alright” On cue, your cough interrupts your response, making your chest jump and your torso attempts to pull itself up. Jiyan is quick and cautious as he helps you sit upward, rubbing your back up and down as your coughing fit subsides. “Have you eaten anything?” He asks as his eyes drink in the details of your face - pale skin, half lidded eyes, cracked lips and few scrapes littered across your exposed skin. You shake your head, barely able to tell what he was doing as he moved about you like a bumblebee, hopping from here to there and bringing a flask of water up to your lips and helping you drink. The water feels heavenly as it slides down your throat, quenching the feeling of an upcoming fever.

“Tell me what happened..” His voice is softer now, quieter as he wishes to keep some sense of privacy even in this open space, but it is no less worried and pent up with tension that squeezes him. His eyes are quick to meet yours when they look up at long last, looking at him and taking in his own disheveled appearance. 

Your lips open and close as you search your brain for adequate words, but it takes a moment for you to gather your thoughts. “My memory is muddy from the actual battle, but I remember you being ahead of me.. and I was dealing with a couple of TDs behind you.. I.. I bit off more than I could chew, and I led them far away from you and the others but there were... just too many.. I was surrounded- I did my best, Jiyan.. But I slipped somewhere along the way.. I don’t know what happened afterwards. I only woke up two days ago..”

“Why didn’t you send word for me?” he bites the inside of his cheek, stopping himself from sounding frustrated or accusing. Images of your retelling paint themselves vividly in his mind, and his heart aches and bleeds for you.

“I wanted to heal first..” you mutter with a small shrug, not knowing the true answer yourself, even as guilt and regret seeps into your heart. “I’m sorry..”

“It’s.. It’s alright.. you are here now” He sighs as his eyes flicker down to your wounds, and he then takes a look around. Jiyan’s heart is too weary to simply leave it at this, too frightened to just let you be after days of believing you were dead. He looks back to you, a bold hand cupping the side of your face and helping you look up at him. 

“I’ll go see if there are any free rooms inside the base where I can help you change these bandages, they are in a dire need of redressing.. Then I’ll get you something to eat, alright?”

You could cry at his words, his kindness and desperation to help you not escape your fuzzy brain, so you only nod, lips pressed into a firm line. He notices your eyes become watery and shock flickers over his visage, and faster than he could know he is already cupping your face with both hands. “Hey…” he whispers, worrying, filling his golden eyes that only sought to comfort you, not sadden you. Or were you in even more pain now? He feels a rush go through him, needing to get you somewhere where he can hold you.  “It’s alright.. I’m not mad at you, alright? Breathe..” he soothes your eyes that flutter shut when the pads of his thumb brushes over it. You nod again, swallowing your tears. 

“I’m okay..”

“You’ll be okay, my love.. just leave it all to me..”

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[purel6mbie]

'𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬' .. !

𖥻 calcharo x reader

𖥻 angst, fluff

𖥻 been feelin insecure so I wrote this. sorry for being ia nd not writing abt scar .. cw for talks of body image, wrote this with an afab reader in mind, .. dunno life sucks pookies ..

you looked at your reflection in the mirror, at the flesh hanging from your belly, your thighs, your arms, like weights you could never let go of, burdening you each second of each day. you hadn't realized you were crying before one of your tears landed on your chest. your chest .. so terribly flat and unlovable. so repulsing. if only i could rip it all off, change my skin ..

'dearest ?'

you turn around like you got caught stealing, new hot tears springing to your eyes the moment they meet your lover's confused ones. calcharo strides over to you with heavy steps, leaning slightly, gloved hands cupping your cheeks tenderly. 'is something wrong ? are you hurt, darling ?' he inquires, his usually deep and loud voice a mere whisper that fans over your wet cheeks.

you shake your head no, sobbing as you struggle to catch a proper breath. you must look so pitiful right now .. 'im s-sorry' you manage to stutter out, aggressively wiping your tears away before crouching to pick up your clothes. that skirt looked horrible on you. guess you'll just gift it to yangyang or something .. it would flatter her way more anyways.

'would you prefer if I gave you some space for now ? I just came home but I can leave and be back later if that might h—' calcharo stops when you once again shake your head. he walks closer, grabbing your wrist gently with his slender fingers. 'then could we talk it out, please ?'

calcharo was far from being a talkative man, even with you. this was just proof of the deep worry gnawing at his heart at the sight before him. he wouldn't —couldn't— bear it.

you slowly let your walls fall down, shoulders slumping in defeat. soon, two buff arms are holding you close to a broad chest, a chin resting on top of your head. you don't exactly know how long you stayed like that, but not once did his hold on you weaken. your lover held you like an anchor, unwavering, and you finally sighed deeply from exhaustion. hating yourself was a full time job you took very seriously, and it was as draining as any other.

'i feel so utterly ugly, calcharo .. so unlovable,' you breathed, eyes closed.

his first answer was a soft kiss planted on the crown of your head. some moments later though, he talked, 'a star in the sky never knows how bright it shines.'

silence. he inhales deeply before pulling away, instead holding you at arms length. calcharo doesn't pressure you into looking at him in the eyes, he knows better than that. he knows you better than that. and he knows what you need to hear from him right now.

'you are my entire cosmos, dearest. everything.' your eyes lock with his, slightly wide and already glistening with brand new tears. his voice doesn't waver as he ends : 'and i love all of you. always.'

your eyelids flutter shut, translucent pearls hanging on your lashes. warmth blossoms where his cold lips seal his words on your forehead. you sigh once again and let that heat take over your numb limbs for today, arms moving to hug your lover to you, to never let him go. 'i love you. i adore you. my knight in shining armor.'

you tilt your head to kiss his chest, where his golden tacet mark would be under his uniform, and his hold on you tightens. 'all of you. always.'

©purel6mbie 2024 | do not copy, translate, repost !

[coldherxriah]

So, Jiyan's one-shot won the poll

[giamee]

— 𝐖𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 ♡

( requests are currently OPEN! )

SCAR °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

AALTO ☦︎⋆.˚

JIYAN ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

CALCHARO ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

XIANGLI YAO ◞♡

ᥫ᭡ main masterlist

[alwayscorvus]

Feeling Obliged

Feeling Obliged

Part 2 of "Do not forget your place", but u can read Part 2 without reading Part 1 bodyguard!malereader x Yuanwu;

Several weeks have passed since that incident. You were probably already approaching three months. But you weren't too concerned about it. You had lived together for so long that such a period of time wasn't a big deal for you. Besides, you didn't expect that anything would change.

After so many unrequited gestures, one sentence of disapproval was enough. The longer you thought about it, the more you wondered why such a minor quarrel, not even big enough for a serious argument, could successfully and completely change your view of world and your relationship with person dearest to you. The only one dear to you.

After looking into it, you came to the conclusion that your first thesis was true. And fact that Yuanwu rejected your help and affection was the biggest reason why it hurt you so much.

Yet, things like that happened many times before.

After all, more than once, sensing danger, you quickened your pace, passed your boss and, with a sudden movement, put your straightened arm out in front of Yuanwu's chest. Bumping against his body and blocking his further path.

While Yuanwu, as always pushed your arm away and kept moving. Falling into the trap.

Or, more than once, after carefully studying his new companions, and expressing your doubts and evidence of they impure intentions, you almost begged him to not meet them.

While Yuanwu, as always shrugged it off and came back with bruises and cuts. Or rather… you did.

You experienced plenty situations of that kind. But you quessed that everyone has to break at some point. Despite the big amount of things they endured. Or precisely because of them. And that particular event, a few weeks ago, was exactly your final straw.

Because of which you moved out. Yes. After more than ten years of living together, you finally moved out. You were proud to say that you finally had your first own apartment. After being kicked out of family home because of debts, your only chapter in life was Yuanwu. And now… Now you even had your own place to live. One that you earned by yourself, with work of your own hands. True, it was a job under Yuanwu and therefore his money…, but still, it was the idea that counted.

Apartment was tiny. One room included both: a single bed, a TV corner with double sofa, and a kitchenette wide for only two cabinets with refrigerator. Only bathroom was actually separated. However, that was enough for you. What more could a bodyguard without hobbies or friends need. Especially since you were in your new home only occasionally. Mostly to sleep. Your job, after all, was mostly 24/7.

Yes, you also considered quitting your job and leaving past behind. But you couldn't. Something was holding you back. And it wasn't even that stubborn desire to take care of the only person close to you, anymore. Rather, it was a sense of obligation. You owed Yuanwu a lot. In fact, your entire existence. He gave you a reasons to live when you were lost, helpless and completely vulnerable. Gave you the resources. Became your mentor and only friend. If it weren't for him, you'd probably still be wandering around this shabby streets. Begging for pennies for food. Getting into fights with passersby. Sleeping covered with cardboard boxes. Or worse… You would no longer be on this world at all.

Since you protected him for so long with your body and Yuanwu had already gotten used to a walking shield around him, you couldn't just abandon him. Even if he strongly believe that he was doing great on his own.

Something could happen…

Not that you were still openly bothered about his well-being!

Since that event, you have become cold. What's more, you haven't spoken a word. You only used head movements to greet and express agreement. You stopped voicing your opinion on any topics of conversation. And in strictly business matters, requiring some kind of report or information about someone, you used documents made beforehand and directly handed to Yuanwu at the right moment.

You also rarely granted Yuanwu with a glance. For most of the time, you stared blankly into a space, looking out for some kind of threat. This was something your boss couldn't stand anymore and that's a reason why he finally broke.

At first he waited about two weeks without reacting. Since you didn't say anything, he didn't either. He thought that it was just a short phase. That it would pass soon. A teenager's rebellion.

The problem is that you were no longer a teenager.

Starting from your first meeting, you were a grown-up man who made aware decisions. And whatever Yuanwu did, whatever he hoped for, he couldn't change your feelings, behaviors or goals.

He could only try to accept them or slightly modify them. Show a different way, a different approach.

That's why, around a third week, he was the one who took the lead. He started chatting about trivial matters. Gossips from the market, stories from the gym. Things that he was already in a habit of doing. Almost as if nothing had happened.

However, that didn't help either. What's more, it even worsen the situation. You felt annoyed by his ignorance.

For a good week and a half he tried to force a chat with you. In company of a finest teas, imported from distant countries.

Corners of your mouth didn't twitch even by a millimeter by that.

Yuanwu began to miss your laughter, your smile… Your teasing, your jokes, your remarks. Your habits and weaknesses. Everything.

He began to miss you.

Moment of brokenness and weakness arrived. Yuanwu came to the conclusion that there was no point of trying and he started living as normal again.

You got surprised by his attitude. This lack of patience was definitely not in his style. But maybe you were the reason why he acted this way. Not that you had any hopes for meaning anything more to him.

After some time however he realized once again that he couldn't live without you being your actual true self. And he began to put an effort again

In quite extreme time you have already experienced many stages. Which led you to your current situation.

-Here. The one that I made when you first came to me - he said rather proudly, placing another cup of hot tea on a small wooden pallet.

You spared it only with a glance. Memories floated back, but you weren't easy to bribe. You let him sit next to you on a comfortable cushions that covered a small linen patio sofa.

Although you were not interested in the drink, some passing by bee decided to leave one of the flowers of surrounding you greenery and get closer to that sweet aroma.

Yuanwu clearly wasn't happy with this turn of events.

-I think that's enough. We should just finally make up and forget about it.

You turned to him rapidly. Moving slightly back and looking truly dumbfounded. You couldn't believe in what you were hearing.

-Don't look at me like that, just listen. We are too old to feel offended. And we've been through too much to let one minor encounter, where you got hurt, ruin it all. It's ridiculous-

You couldn't stand it. You rose from your chair and glared.

-No, you listen. You know very well that it wasn't about that meeting. Nor was it about the fact that I got wounded. More than once I got your bullets or risked my life for you. I didn't care. And I don't care. Because i love you -you spat the words through your teeth, almost reaching to the point of screaming- You know this, you always knew. But you didn't do anything about it. For so many years you gave me hope just to one day, about which I am currently doing such a fuss about according to you, took it all away from me. And you know why? I know. Because you don't care about my feelings. You never cared about them. Unless they fitted to your own idea. Unless it was convenient for -pure venom came out of your mouth- But quees what. I'm done with that. I'm done chasing you. And if you're missing anything now, it's a person completely in love with you. Who you won't get again, because you didn't want it yourself.

You almost knocked yourself out, but thanks to your determination and clenched fists, you managed to convey whole message.

Yuanwu looked at you terrified. Exactly like in that alley. You hated that.

Now it was even more clear to him that he would not get back the old, obedient version of you. That the only version he could get was the one with romantic feelings. Which could dangerously start to fade away if Yuanwu didn't get his shit together.

Annoying knocking woke you up from your afternoon nap. You growled at it displeased. Only one person knew your address. That's why you didn't even hope for the noise to die quickly.

-Coooming! - you shouted truly unwelcomingly.

You opened a door without even looking at who it was. In a hurry, you returned to your beloved bed and threw yourself on it with all the weight of your body.

As expected, Yuanwu quickly made himself comfortable. He crossed the threshold of your apartment, closed the door and looked around. This was the first time he had been here. You hadn't allowed him to help you choose a place to live previously, despite his insistent requests.

Yuanwu scanned your property with judging eyes. Apartment may have been very neat and tidy. But definitely too small for you. You would have been better at his place. He couldn't understand how you could want to move away from him.

Or rather, he didn't want to understand. But he had to. And that's why he was here.

Blue Yuanwu took off his coat and laid it gently on the couch along with his hat. Trying not to prolong, he took a heavy seat on a bed right next to you. He rested his elbows on his thighs and bent down. Admiring a wooden floor by that.

Yuanwu took a deep breath.

-Sorry. I know that I was being an… how people your age call it? An asshole?

Good start.

-Shut up, you are not that much older from me.

You playfully kicked him with your foot, turning your back to him. You settled down with your arms crossed. Trying hard to avoid his gaze. Almost pretending to be offended. Even though all your grudge from yesterday had long since passed. Finally, after so many weeks of sitting in silence and contemplating, emotions began to drain themselves away. And the last dose of them left with your confession. Which itself became some kind of cleaning ritual to you. Admitting a long-hidden secret after such a long time allowed you to experience true peace of mind.

Yuanwu snickered at your words.

-Right. I could never process this information and therefore accept it. I have always had a sense of responsibility towards you. Ever since I first saw you… With scratched face, stained clothes, and that torn olive sleeveless shirt. Despite your pitiful state, you kept hitting that boxing bag with whole heart. That impressed me. Or whatever you can call that feeling -he waved his hand after a second of doubt- You had that fierce look in your eyes. Although I have to admit that your first punches were pretty shitty-

He teased you and received a new nudge in return.

-Look, I know what you're hoping for. And you're right, I knew for a long time. After the first year of our relationship, something began to change. I didn't understand it at first. Never in my life would I think that-

He paused for a moment and, slightly stressed, began to play with his fingers.

-But then that bartender dropped a comment after you went to the bathroom. And elderly saleswomen from a market began to question the character of our relationship. Then it got to me. But I didn't do anything about it. And it's not because I don't care about your feelings. Everything I've done for these past years, I've done only for you and your happiness, you know that.

Yuanwu's voice wasn't cracking, it was well balanced and toned down as always. However, he was slowly finding it harder and harder to choose his words. Admitting the truth hurt. Not only him, but also you. But you couldn't turn around. You didn't want to look at him, you couldn't. Not now.

He lifted his gaze up toward the ceiling. Relaxed his muscles a little and, after another inhale, continued:

-But I just didn't know if I could give it to you. What you were hoping for all along. Whether I was able to return your feelings. Over time it became easier to simply pretend, to ignore. When you started talking in the alley about how you cared about me-

He hesitated for a moment.

-I couldn't let you continue. I was afraid that this would be the moment when you would finally confess your feelings to me. And I will no longer be able to pretend it's not there. Live in my perfect illusion- he snickered over a hilariousness of his persona- But it was of little use. Because it all came crashing down anyway. My perfect peace collapsed like a house of cards. And I can't be surprised. Everyone has his limits. And I abused yours all too much.

You nodded your head to yourself. You had to admit that here he was right. Nevertheless, what were you supposed to do with this information?

-Will you finally look at me? -he asked with anticipation.

You persisted unmoved.

Yuanwu merely sighed. But he didn't intend to back off. Not now. Not after all this time.

-I know I hurt your feelings a lot. But I hope you will forgive me despite everything. At least for the sake of our good old days. And if you let me- If-… If you-…. If you guide me-…. I-… -

He really couldn't get it out.

-I'll be the happiest man on earth if you teach me what it's like to love.

You immediately rose up from your place.

-Yuanwu, you don't have to-.

-But I want to. And not out of guilt. Nor do I want to bribe you to come back to me. I want to do it for myself. No matter how selfish it may sound. By those weeks when you didn't speak to me I realized -voice got caught in his throat- that I can also feel something more. And it's not just a matter of habit. I simply learned to look at you from a different perspective.

Yuanwu went breathless. He felt a sudden embrace on him. Your strong arms squeezed him tightly from behind. The feeling was so… warm. Completely different from others. From hugs of gym customers, good old friends, or mothers grateful for teaching their sons love of sport and rescuing them from a bad crowd. This gesture was marked with something special. Something like an endless longing.

-Yuanwu -you said in a serious voice, trying to cool your thoughts- I forgive you and promise to come back to you in my old version. But you really don't have to do that. I don't want you to-

Yuanwu stopped you and turned his head in your direction. Feeling his piercing gaze, you opened your eyes, which you unknowingly clenched a minutes ago. Overwhelmed by emotions.

You were now looking straight at each other, and your faces were separated just by millimeters.

-But what if I don't want the old you? What if I want to get to know the new you?

His voice suddenly became soft. Almost sweet, melodic, as if... seductive?

A spark went through your body.

In a split second, your bodies moved on their own. And your lips joined, sealing your new contract.

[mm-lurking]

When the rain stops

I got soaked in the rain so I wrote this. Not proofread. Written with Blade, Al-Haitham and Jiyan in my mind but you can imagine your favourites.

Warnings: x fem! reader, angst WC: 817 — Nothing registers in your mind except the icy freezing water that washes over your body in large raindrops. Your fingertips are cold and rock hard from the downpour that has caught you halfway through your journey. The slashes and stab wound you have obtained from your body bleed into your clothes and the ground you stand on.

Everything feels numb in comparison to the rain. You’re trembling as the clothes you wear stick to your body and the harsh breeze that passes by makes it worse. The water has pooled around your feet, soaking through your shoes and no matter how hard you try nothing keeps the aggressive battering of the rain away.

By the time you reach your destination the biting cold gets to you and you find yourself stumbling in your steps. The loss of blood further exacerbates your fragile state. Each movement of your feet feels heavy no matter how hard you push through. The rain blinds you completely and your vision starts to blur.

Your knees give out causing you to go crashing into the gravel path. The metallic smell of blood mixes with the earthy rain assaulting your nose with the strangest odor you have ever encountered. Somehow, alongside the odor, you get a whiff of a familiar masculine scent, one that reminds you of him.

What follows are urgent footsteps and a warm pair of arms that envelop you from the back. Suddenly the rain stops above your head followed by a deep raspy voice you so dearly love to hear.

“You’re hurt.”

He says concerned as he discards his coat and kneels down to your level to wrap it around you. The additional layer of thick fabric greatly shields you from the rain and you can’t help but smile deliriously. Without a word he presses you deeper into his chest as he checks your injuries.

“This stab wound…who did this to you?”

You can sense a tinge of anger in his voice which further makes you smile. Something about him caring for you despite his reserved attitude surprises you. Instead of replying, you weakly cling your fingers on the thin fabric of his chest and lazily nod.

“Doesn’t…doesn’t matter…”

You mumble out and dig your head deeper into his chest. All you can think about is how incredibly warm he is compared to the raging rain that shows no sign of stopping. He wraps his hands tighter around you in response.

Then he immediately scoops you up in his arms making sure to avoid the injured skin before hurriedly walking to a place of retreat to tend to your weakened state. You’re cold and limp against his warm and alive body. Now that the rain no longer storms on you, you feel the pain of your wounds emerging from your throat as you uncomfortably groan.

“Shh…almost there.”

He responds soothingly to your agony. With the little energy you have left, you peek at the man who carries you so lovingly. All you can see is his sharp jawline and the popping of his neck veins as he looks ahead. You observe the rain soaks some of his hair and face, coating him with a glistening glow that makes your heart beat a tad faster.

“It’s alright…you don’t have to…”

He tries to ignore how shallow your breathing is and how your blood seeps into his own clothes. Your body feels more lifeless in his warm hands with each passing second. He notes how your tiny fingers have loosened their grip on his shirt and he tries not to panic at the lack of movement you display.

“Nonsense. We are almost there.”

His fingers almost dig into your skin despite the layers you have on. Even though his voice is unwavering and resolute, the pounding of his heart betrays him. Through the last few threads of consciousness remaining in you, you chuckle.

“You’re wasting your time on me…”

“Stop talking.”

He chides you and you smile. Everything is starting to feel more distant and dreamy as black dots swarm your vision. Your fingers that were holding onto his shirt so desperately drop into your lap and your head falls back. The sudden change prompts him to look at you and he feels blood drain from his face. You’re still like the waters of a lake with a tiny smile. He calls you out but you do not respond.

“Stay with me. Stay with me!”

He says with more urgency as he shakes you but only silence fills the air. There is a flurry of curses that run through his head as he finally reaches his destination and rushes to ask for help. When the rain finally stops and your wounds are observed carefully, all he can do is stare at your pale face in horror as your eyes remain closed and dried blood decorates your skin.

Maybe, just maybe it was too late.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

[mothtral]

you knew the risks, getting involved with a man that spends nearly every waking moment on a battlefield. that one day, instead of geshu lin darkening your doorstep after his troops are sent home for a break, it will be another soldier, with a solemn apology and heartbreaking news. that geshu lin will not be returning home to you any longer. you told yourself that it didn’t matter. that you wanted to experience your life with geshu lin for as long as the world allowed you to. late nights spent sitting on your roof, stargazing and making up stories for the constellations. sharing quiet moments curled up together. stealing geshu lin’s sword and running away as a means of preventing him from returning to the frontlines for a little bit longer. but now, grass stains on your knees, dirt stuck under your fingernails, dry tear tracks on your face, the flower jiyan helped you plant rings of finality. you were never meant to last.

[aventurineswife]

Could I request Jiyan's lover running up to him and snuggling him because they miss his presence?

Home Is in Your Arms

Summary: After days apart, you reunite with Jiyan, as he returns from his mission. Overwhelmed with longing, you rush into his arms, finding solace in his quiet, steadfast presence. Jiyan, always stoic and composed, allows himself to be vulnerable with you, sharing a tender moment that reminds you both of the unbreakable bond you share amidst the chaos of war.

Tags: Jiyan x Reader, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reunion, Emotional Vulnerability,Soft Moments, Longing.

Warnings: Brief mentions of war and violence (non-descriptive), Light angst due to separation.

(cr: guaisanmu on Twitter/X)

The sun was just beginning to dip behind the mountains, casting Jinzhou in hues of amber and rose. The camp was unusually quiet; most of the Midnight Rangers had returned from their patrols and, by now, had settled into their tents for the evening. Only one figure remained at the edge of the camp, standing against the breeze as though he were part of the landscape itself. Jiyan’s silhouette was framed by the setting sun, his long teal hair catching the dying light as it shifted in the breeze.

You stood back, watching him. It felt as if he’d been gone forever, although it had only been a few days. Each moment without him was like an ache, a silence that stretched too far. Jiyan had warned you before he left that his patrol might take longer, but no amount of preparation had eased the loneliness that crept in each night. Now, with him in sight, that emptiness dissolved, replaced by a warmth you could hardly contain.

Without thinking, you broke into a sprint, your feet barely making a sound as they skimmed over the grass. Jiyan’s back was to you, his gaze fixed somewhere far off, his attention consumed by unspoken thoughts. But the moment you wrapped your arms around him, he knew it was you. A barely perceptible sigh escaped him, his shoulders softening as your arms closed around his waist.

"Back already?" His voice was soft, even as he kept his gaze forward. But his hand found yours, warm and reassuring as he pulled your hands closer against his chest. You felt the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm, grounding you.

"I missed you," you whispered, your face pressed against his back. The fabric of his modified hanfu was rough beneath your cheek, but it held the faint scent of cedar and the earthy tones of the forest. "It feels like you've been gone for ages."

He shifted, slowly turning to face you. Those intense eyes of his softened as they met yours, and a hint of a smile—small, but genuine—played at his lips. It was the smile he saved for moments like these, for you alone.

"I’m here now," he said, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from your face. "I didn’t mean to worry you."

You couldn’t help but lean into his touch, craving the warmth of his palm against your cheek. "It’s impossible not to worry about you. Especially when you’re out there, fighting Tacet Discords alone." You paused, looking up into his eyes. "I just… need you to come back to me. Every time."

He let out a soft hum, nodding in that quiet way of his, the way that carried both promise and understanding. "I will." His hand lingered on your face, his thumb tracing gentle circles against your skin. "But remember, there’s something worth returning to."

The vulnerability in his gaze was rare, a crack in the stoic armor he wore around everyone else. And for a brief moment, you saw past the warrior and the general, to the man who sometimes questioned his path, who worried about the battles he couldn’t fight with strength alone.

You slipped your arms around him again, and this time, he didn’t hesitate. He drew you close, wrapping his arms around you with a gentle firmness that left no space between you. It was as though he, too, had missed the comfort of your embrace, had needed this closeness more than he could admit.

For a long time, the two of you stood there in silence. His fingers ran soothingly along your back, grounding you in his warmth, his presence. The world around you faded, the distant threat of Tacet Discords, the quiet of the camp, everything except the steady beat of his heart against yours.

“I’ll come back to you, every time,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "No matter how far I go."

You nodded, not needing any further words. In that embrace, you understood that, for tonight at least, he was home.

[thefoxtherapist]

Thinkin thinkin thinkin....

Reader who always wears a mask and people usually assume it's just so they could look edgy but in reality it's to cover up their face that is distorted from scars and on a random day character witnesses them without mask

Wuwa characters reacting~ (man I just don't really know who to name but maybe maybe include mortefi and scar *blinks cutely*)

No.. This isn't for self indulging because I made a wuwa character with a crow peak mask, no, not at all /liar

Anyways I know this might be more on the.. Darker side? I suppose and i tbh didn't know if you would be cool with it or nah.

I feel really chatty today forgive this yapper Anon, Have a lovely time zone🫡

Actually.... What is your favorite animal? Mine are crows :]

Hello thank you for the request! I never mind rambling don't worry! Haha I love the wuwa character inspired asks don't worry, my friend sent me one for Aalto based off of MY wuwa oc so (,: <3 handshaking.

CROWS MAKE SENSE! Mine are foxes<3 Specifically silver foxes or arctic foxes. But I love all foxes. My beloved creatures.

I hope you don't mind that I did headcanons!

Scar is almost insulted you didn’t tell him? The disgust in his mind is entirely based off of the “my fellow black lamb is even more similar to me and HID IT?!” thought.  He confronts you about it. If you have your mask in hand, he grabs your wrist before you can put it back on. “Hello, beautiful.” while staring deeply at your face. “Shameful of you to hide such beauty from me.” Scar, you're so weird. Surprisingly sweet though..

Scar doesn’t really give you time to react before his lips start pressing against the outlines of the scars. If there are no outlines, he just starts smooching from your cheek across your face, your nose, your jaw, your chin, your forehead, before finally. He kisses your lips.

“You should really grace me with this sight more often~” Thanks Scar.

Anyways any time you two are alone in private he will POUT for you to take the mask off so he can kiss you and stare at you. Scar will compliment you a BUNCH. Anything to make you blush or smile.

He will also encourage you to touch his facial scars. And yes, he rubs his scarred cheek against your face. Like a cat. Congrats on the cat.

Mortefi literally doesn’t care.

He doesn’t even notice, he is mid sentence, hence why he caught you in such a situation. And he will NOT stop his sentence. Once he’s done rambling you’ve probably already got your mask back on. And he’ll stop you from responding by raising an eyebrow and “Why did you put it back on?”

“I’m more comfortable this way.” and that’s it, end of conversation. Mortefi respects you more than he feels the need to be curious about their origins. And he’s right back to talking about whatever it was he wanted to bounce off of you.

If you begin to take your mask off around him more often in private, he will notice, but he won’t comment on it. Mortefi isn’t a big show of affection guy, but he’ll encourage this by kissing your cheek whenever he’s on his way out or his way in.

Mortefi doesn’t see the need for verbal reassurances. He’s a bit of a stiff lover anyway. But he tries his best to show you support and affection. Its clearly a sensitive spot, and while he doesn’t really get it, especially as a Resonator with physical changes caused by his awakening and overclocking, he knows he doesn’t /need/ to understand to be supportive.

Aalto is soooo curious, unlike Mortefi, he STOPS MID SENTENCE. And stares. Then realises he shouldn’t stare and turns around. “Sorry, babe! Didn’t expect you to be changing.” You weren’t, he just does not know how to phrase it. He’s definitely the ONLY one on /this/ list who actually thought it was for edgy purposes :sob: loser

Once he has a sign you have it back on, he WHIRLS AROUND. “As cool as the mask is, you should show off a pretty face like yours more often!” he wants to ask SO BAD. But Aalto knows he shouldn’t. And he’s a respectful guy! Sometimes.

Resumes what he was saying but he’ll be thinking about this allllllll night forever and always. 

The next time you have your mask off around him, knowing he’s supportive of your skin, he feels GLEEFULLLL. Aalto is so happy. Aalto “You shouldn’t make ties with other people” Black Shores realises from this ordeal that he is in DEEP. SO SO deep. 

That isn’t his problem though, he’s busy trailing his fingers over your jaw, neck, collarbones as he spoons you from behind. His aero abilities always leave a nice sensation against the scar tissue. Especially a fan of your jaw if there are any there in particular. Aalto is a jaw kisser through and through.

[fictionally-driven]

You Deserve Better

Pairing: Calcharo x f!reader Word count: 4020 words

Trigger warnings: Injury mention, stress, anxiety, implied relationship, angst, heartbreaks

Plot: Calcharo, burdened by his dark past and aware of the danger he poses to (Y/N), is unable to see how his choices hurt her. To ensure that she gets the life she deserves, Calcharo makes an impossible choice.

Author Note: I am not paying for anyone's therapy and I apologize in advance for hurting y'all :3 This fic was inspired by the song You Deserve Better by James Arthur

The door creaked open with a hesitant groan; its sound amplified in the dead silence of the house. Calcharo stepped inside, every movement deliberate, every step weighed with the exhaustion that clung to him like the grime and dried blood matted against his skin. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and iron, mingling with the faint aroma of alcohol wafting from the living room.

He paused, eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. Calcharo moved with practiced stealth, mindful not to disturb the peace. Yet, as he stepped into the living room, a sharp scent of alcohol pricked his senses, cutting through the familiar mustiness of home.

In the living room, he saw her—(Y/N). Her head was bowed, shoulders trembling with quiet sobs. A nearly empty bottle of wine lay cradled in her lap, her fingers gripping it like a lifeline. The sight pierced through Calcharo’ s hardened exterior. His heart clenched painfully at the sight. He had been supposed to return two days ago, but complications had delayed him. The mission had been brutal, and communication had been impossible. He knew she worried, but seeing her like this, shattered and vulnerable, was worse.

The sound of his footfall drew her attention. Her head snapped up, and the relief that washed over her face was instantaneous. "(Y/N)," he breathed, the single word heavy with unspoken apologies and unexpressed emotions.

For a heartbeat, she simply stared, as if ensuring he was real and not a figment of her desperate mind. Then, in an instant, she was on her feet, the bottle forgotten as it clattered to the floor. She crossed the space between them in a few quick strides, flinging herself into his arms with a force that nearly knocked the breath out of him.

"Oh, thank God," she murmured against his chest, her voice trembling. "I was so worried... I couldn't reach you... I feared the worst..." The grime and blood smeared onto her clothes, but she didn't seem to care. All that mattered was that he was here, alive.

Calcharo held her close, his arms encircling her with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the brutality of his profession. He could feel her trembling, her body wracked with the remnants of her sobs. He rested his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes as he soaked in her presence. For a moment, he allowed himself to forget the bloodshed, the danger, and just be here, with her.

"I'm here," he murmured, his voice roughened by exhaustion. "I'm here, (Y/N)."

She pulled back just enough to look at him, her hands cupping his face. Her thumbs traced the lines of dirt and blood, her eyes scanning his features as if reassuring herself that he was truly there, in one piece.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Two days, Calcharo... I didn't know if you were ever coming back."

He could see the toll those two days had taken on her—dark circles under her eyes, her face pale and drawn. The weight of his absence was etched into every line of her expression.

"I'm sorry," he said, the words falling heavy and sincere. "The mission... it took longer than expected.”

(Y/N) nodded in understanding, her eyes softening with acceptance. "Have you eaten yet?" she asked.

Calcharo opened his mouth to respond, but she already knew the answer. "Of course, you haven't," she murmured, more to herself than to him. "I'll whip something up quickly. You should shower and get cleaned up in the meantime."

She always did this—pushing aside her own worries to care for him. She was a good woman, far too good for a man like him. He'd put her through situations like this too many times already, and every time, she was patient, loving, unwavering. He simply nodded, retreating to the shower to clean the grit off him while she headed to the kitchen.

The shower hissed to life, and as the hot water cascaded over him, he could smell her shampoo, her soap—those familiar, comforting scents that grounded him, reminding him that he was back home. He scrubbed the grime and blood off his skin, but he couldn't scrub away the memories, the guilt, the deeds he'd done. The water turned pink as it swirled down the drain, a cruel reminder that some stains never truly fade.

Patting himself dry, he slipped into a pair of pants and draped a towel over his shoulders. The mirror reflected a man weary beyond his years; his eyes shadowed with memories too dark to recount. With a heavy sigh, he left the bathroom, the comforting scent of her products still lingering on his skin. He couldn't delay any longer. He needed to check on (Y/N).

Walking into the kitchen, he found her standing by the stove, her hands moving deftly as she prepared a simple meal. Despite her woozy state from the alcohol, she was focused, determined to take care of him. Calcharo approached quietly, his presence announcing itself only when he was close enough to touch her. He took over the cooking process without a word, gently nudging her aside.

Her eyes traversed his form, widening as they fell upon a gnarly cut on his forearm. "Calcharo, you're hurt," she gasped, her voice tinged with a mixture of concern and reprimand. She clicked her tongue, rushing to get the medical kit.

"Let me see," she said, her tone shifting to the professional calm of a medic. (Y/N) was a former medic, and dealing with injuries was second nature to her. She laid out the supplies with a precision born of habit, her hands moving swiftly but with a tenderness that belied the severity of the wound.

Calcharo watched her work in silence, the ache in his chest deepening as he realized how much he relied on her strength, her compassion. She cleaned the wound methodically, her touch gentle yet firm.

"It's deep," she murmured, her voice tinged with concern as she applied antiseptic with careful precision. "You should have taken care of this sooner."

"I didn't notice," Calcharo replied quietly, his gaze fixed on her face. "I was... distracted."

She glanced up at him, her eyes searching his as if trying to read the depths of his soul. "I worry about you," she admitted softly, her fingers wrapping gauze around his arm to secure the dressing. "Every time you go out there..."

Calcharo’ s heart clenched at her words, the weight of her worry pressing down on him. He reached out, cupping her cheek gently with his clean hand, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. "I know," he murmured, his voice raw with emotion. “I am sorry, love…”

She didn't protest. Instead, she leaned into his touch, her eyes closing briefly as if seeking solace in his warmth. For a moment, they simply stood there, bound together by unspoken words and shared experiences.

Calcharo knew. He knew in the depths of his soul that his profession, his life as the leader of the Ghost Hounds, was a poison seeping into (Y/N)'s veins. It wasn't just the worry etched on her face every time he left, nor the fear that gnawed at her when he returned battered and broken. By being with him, by loving him, she willingly walked a path fraught with danger. She put herself at risk, entwined her fate with his, despite the inevitable peril that shadowed his every step.

And yet, she didn't seem to mind. She stood beside him, unwavering in her support. She saw goodness in him where he saw only shadows. She believed in him, whispered words of reassurance that he was a good man, despite the blood on his hands and the darkness in his heart.

But Calcharo knew better. He had seen good men—General Jiyan, Mortefi—men with strong moral compasses who fought for justice and righteousness. They were the kind of men who did what was right, not just what was profitable. Unlike him.

As they cooked in silence, (Y/N) hummed a soft tune under her breath, a melody that spoke of innocence and hope. Calcharo couldn't help but contrast her purity with the darkness that clung to him. She was kind, selfless in a way he could never be. Since her arrival, many members of the Ghost Hounds relied on her medical expertise, freely given without any thought of profit. It was a stark contrast to his own dealings, where every transaction was a negotiation, every job a calculation of risk and reward.

The smell of alcohol lingered on her breath, a subtle reminder of her own struggles, her own ways of coping with the weight of their reality. Calcharo glanced at her, a pang of guilt tightening his chest. She deserved better than this life, than him. He wanted to protect her, shield her from the darkness that threatened to consume them both. But how could he, when he was the very embodiment of that darkness?

He finished preparing the meal mechanically, his movements precise but lacking his usual efficiency. Each chop of vegetables, each stir of the pot, felt like a ritual to stave off the inevitable conversation looming between them.

As they sat down to eat, she launched into stories about the Lawless Zone they inhabited, her voice animated despite the weariness that lined her features. Calcharo listened intently, his attention divided between her words and the weight of his own thoughts.

She spoke of the baker who had mastered the art of baking in makeshift ovens, of children who startled learning how to use grappling hooks to navigate the treacherous terrain. Her anecdotes painted a picture of resilience and adaptation in a place where survival was a daily battle. She found joy in the small victories of others, weaving tales that brought warmth to their otherwise harsh reality.

Calcharo ate in silence, marveling at how effortlessly she embraced life in the Lawless Zone. In this unforgiving environment where alliances shifted like sand in the wind, where trust was a luxury and betrayal a constant threat, (Y/N) saw good in everyone. It was a trait that set her apart, a reminder of the innocence she carried despite the injustice that had led her here.

But he knew the truth of her exile, the injustice that had ripped her from a life of healing and service. Some faceless bureaucrats in the New Federation had condemned her for a crime she didn't commit, tarnishing her reputation and casting her out. Yet, despite the bitterness that could have consumed her, she continued to trust, continued to give of herself without hesitation. The bitterness of the betrayal still lingered, a wound that hadn't fully healed. Yet, despite everything, she had found it in herself to trust again—to trust him.

As they cleaned up after dinner, (Y/N) moved to tidy the living room while Calcharo washed the dishes with a methodical precision. The clink of porcelain against porcelain echoed in the silence, a counterpoint to the tumultuous thoughts racing through his mind. He couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him, she deserved peace, she deserved better.

When they finally retired for the night, exhaustion weighed heavily on Calcharo, but sleep eluded him. He lay in bed beside (Y/N), her head nestled against his chest, her breathing steady and peaceful. His mind replayed the events of the day—the worry in her eyes when she saw his injury, the tenderness of her touch as she tended to him, the way she effortlessly navigated their tumultuous existence with grace and compassion. She trusted him, believed in him, despite the darkness that tainted his soul.

But he knew the truth. He was a man haunted by his past, burdened by the choices he had made and the lives he had taken. (Y/N) deserved better than the life he could offer her—a life steeped in danger, where every day was a battle for survival. She deserved peace, safety, and the chance to heal from the wounds inflicted upon her. The weight of his own inadequacies pressed down on him; a suffocating presence that threatened to consume him whole. He closed his eyes, willing himself to find solace in (Y/N)'s embrace, in the warmth of her love. Yet, despite her comforting presence beside him, sleep remained elusive.

As the hours slipped by, Calcharo stared into the darkness, wrestling with his demons. He knew he had to protect her, shield her from the inevitable storm that was to come for him. Beside him, (Y/N) stirred in her sleep, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Calcharo tightened his embrace around her, his fingers tracing absent patterns on her back. He wished he could shield her from the nightmares that haunted him, from the harsh realities of their world. But he knew he couldn't.

As dawn painted the sky in soft hues of orange and pink, Calcharo lay awake beside (Y/N), his mind churning with resolve and sorrow. He knew what he needed to do, though he lacked the strength to follow through. The abyss stared back at him—a reminder of the darkness that had consumed him long ago. He had always known that staying in the kill-or-be-killed business was never the path to redemption. Despite numerous attempts to leave this life behind, each endeavor had failed. The Ghost Hounds relied on him, and so did the people of the Lawless Zone. They needed his leadership, his expertise in navigating the treacherous underworld they called home. He couldn't abandon them, not after everything he'd done, not after the lives he'd already taken, not after the lines he’d crossed and the enemies he’d made.

But she was different. (Y/N) deserved a life far removed from the danger and uncertainty that defined their existence. She deserved peace, safety—a chance to reclaim the innocence that had been unjustly stolen from her. There was no salvation for him, no redemption from the sins he had committed. But there was hope for her—hope in a future away from the Lawless Zone, away from him.

As the sun continued its ascent, casting long shadows across the room, Calcharo made his decision. He would hurt her one last time, knowing it would break her heart. But he had to do it—for her sake, because he knew she would never make that decision herself. Quietly, he disentangled himself from her embrace, careful not to disturb her peaceful slumber. He watched her for a moment, the curve of her cheek illuminated by the gentle morning light. She looked so serene in her sleep. Her chest rose and fell with her soft breaths.

With a heavy heart and a sense of grim determination, Calcharo quietly began packing his belongings. Each item he placed into his bag felt like another piece of himself being removed from their shared space. The room that once held their laughter and whispered confessions now echoed with the hollowness of impending separation.

He folded his clothes with methodical precision, placing them neatly into the duffel bag. His fingers lingered over small trinkets—a worn-out book she had gifted him, a bracelet she had made from scavenged materials—that held memories of happier times. Yet, these very memories weighed on him now, reminders of what he was about to do. Calcharo erased every trace of his presence in the house, wiping down surfaces, gathering stray belongings, and leaving the space eerily devoid of his essence. It was a painful process, akin to erasing a part of himself that had intertwined with hers over time. The ache in his chest grew with each passing moment, the reality of his decision settling heavily upon him.

Once everything was packed, he sat in the living room, waiting. The Ghost Hounds had swiftly removed his belongings from outside, leaving no visible trace of his imminent departure. He glanced at the door, knowing that soon she would awaken to a home that felt emptier, colder, without him. Hours passed like slow-moving shadows before (Y/N) stirred awake, her footsteps padding softly as she entered the living room, still half in the realm of dreams. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips as she greeted him with a murmured "Good morning."

Her smile faltered as she took in the expression on his face—the somber set of his jaw, the sadness that clouded his eyes. Concern knit her brows together as she approached, sensing something amiss in the air.

"Calcharo, what's going on?" she asked softly, her voice tinged with worry.

He gestured for her to take a seat beside him, his own features drawn with a mixture of resolve and sorrow. "I... I need to talk to you," he began, his voice rough with emotion. He paused, struggling to find the right words, knowing no syllable would make it easier.

(Y/N) sat down slowly, her eyes never leaving his face. Her concern deepened, a flicker of fear darting through her expression. "Calcharo, please," she implored softly, reaching out to touch his arm, seeking reassurance in the warmth of his skin. "You're scaring me. What's happened?"

Calcharo took a deep breath, steeling himself for the inevitable pain he would inflict. He met (Y/N)'s worried gaze, her touch still warm against his arm, and he knew he had to be resolute.

"I... We can't do this anymore," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's not right for you to be with me."

(Y/N)'s eyes widened in disbelief, her grip tightening on his arm. "Calcharo, no," she protested, her voice trembling. "Please, don't do this. We can work through whatever it is. I love you.”

He shook his head, his own voice choked with emotion. "You deserve someone better than me," he insisted, his tone firm yet laced with pain. "Someone who can give you stability, peace... a life without constant fear and danger."

Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over as she fought against his words. "But I don't want someone else," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "I want you. I can adapt, I can learn. I can handle it."

Calcharo’ s heart clenched at her words, his resolve faltering for a moment. He gently detached her hand from his arm, standing up with a heaviness in his chest. "I don't want you to handle it," he said softly, his voice tinged with anguish. "I can't bear to see you caught in the crossfire, (Y/N)."

She stood up too, desperation etched on her face as she reached out to him once more. "Please, Calcharo," she begged, her voice trembling. "Don't leave me… I am begging you. Please…”

He turned away, unable to meet her pleading gaze. "I love you," he admitted hoarsely, pain lacing every word. "But this love... it's hurting you. It's not fair to you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she took a step closer, her hands reaching out as if to hold onto him, to anchor him in place. "I don't care about fair," she whispered, her voice raw with emotion. "I care about us. About what we have."

Calcharo closed his eyes briefly, the ache in his chest unbearable. “You might want me, (Y/N) … but I am not what you need. You deserve a righteous person by your side who can protect your innocence and kindness. That is not me.”

She gasped softly, a sob escaping her as she stumbled backward, her hands covering her mouth in disbelief. "No," she choked out, her whole-body trembling with the weight of his words. "Please don't do this..."

Calcharo’ s own voice wavered as he took a step closer, his hand hovering in the air as if torn between reaching out to comfort her and knowing he had to leave. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely, his voice thick with unshed tears. "But this... this is the only way."

(Y/N) watched him, her entire being trembling with the weight of his words, with the finality of his decision. "Calcharo, please," she begged, her voice breaking as fell on the floor. "Don't leave me. I can't... I can't do this without you."

Calcharo stood before her, his heart breaking with every tear that streamed down her face. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to take her in his arms, to comfort her, to take back his words and pretend this moment never happened. But he knew he couldn't. Not for her sake. Not now.

"I've spoken to someone in Jinzhou," he said quietly, his voice trembling slightly. "They've arranged housing for you. It is safe there and you can start afresh. You… you need to leave the Lawless Zone.”

(Y/N)'s sobs grew louder, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as she struggled to comprehend the magnitude of his words. "No," she cried out, her voice raw with anguish. "Please, Calcharo..."

Calcharo’ s heart shattered into a million pieces at her words, but he pressed on, knowing it was the only way to protect her. "My people will protect you until then," he continued, his voice cracking with emotion. "But this... this is the last you'll see of me."

She collapsed onto the floor, her body convulsing with grief. "No, no," she sobbed, her voice raw with agony. "I can't... I can't do this without you."

Calcharo closed his eyes against the pain, struggling to maintain his composure. "I hope you find somebody else," he whispered, his voice barely audible over her cries. "Someone who will love you like nobody else." His words hung heavy in the air, a bitter admission of his own shortcomings. "I hope he gives you something real, someone who can put your well-being first." he continued, his voice breaking. "And I wish nothing but the best for you."

He knelt beside her, his hand hovering over her trembling form, wanting to touch her, to soothe her, but holding back. "I'm sorry," he choked out, his voice thick with regret. "For all the pain, the hurt, the worry... I never wanted this for you. You’re the only person in this world that I cannot see get hurt because of my deeds." Her cries echoed in the room, reverberating off the walls as he apologized. "Thank you for welcoming me every time with an open heart."

He leaned forward, brushing a gentle kiss against her forehead, a silent farewell filled with a lifetime of love and regret. "Goodbye," he whispered hoarsely, his voice barely audible over her sobs.

With great effort, Calcharo stood up, his legs heavy as he turned away from her. Each step felt like a knife in his heart, tearing him apart as he walked toward the door. As he crossed the threshold, a single tear escaped his eye, and he quickly brushed it away, his face composed into its usual stoic mask.

He glanced back one last time, memorizing the sight of her curled on the floor, her heartache echoing in the empty room. It was the last time she would see him, but he promised himself he would always watch over her from afar, keeping her safe until she no longer needed his ghostly presence.

She would find someone to love her, he knew. She had so much love to give. And despite the ache in his own heart, he would be happy for her when that day came. Despite the agony that consumed him, Calcharo found a bitter solace in knowing that she would eventually smile again, even if it wasn't because of him. But for now, he bore the weight of their separation, the ache of leaving her behind. She would move on, and he would fade into memory. For her sake, he would bear the pain of being a ghost in her life, a memory of a love that was both profound and tragically unfulfilled.

And as he disappeared into the harsh sunlight of the Lawless Zone, he carried with him the weight of her sorrow and the echo of her cries, a haunting melody that would stay with him long after he had faded into the shadows.

[itstimetojellyfish]

Rest, I’ll watch over you . ( Jiyan x reader)

so….. this is another fic! I really hope you enjoy!

You have to run .

The Tacet Dicords are increasing in waves .

No, why would you run? Don’t you have people to tend to? The soldiers need help , you are the only medic on filed . You cannot run . You must help others .

So you do , you bolt around , dodging Tacet Dicords lunging at you . You continue to help others , tugging them ,holding them , healing them .

After the same cycle repeats over and over again , you get used to it , settling in .

That was a mistake .

You weren’t so lucky now . The Tacet Dicords came upon you in waves , you struggle weaving around them trying not to get injured . You manage to survive for a while , but too soon , your legs collapse and the world goes black , the only thing you saw was every monster out for your blood .

Was it a peaceful dream? Did you have a dream? You can’t remember.

You drift in and out of consciousness, voices talking constantly. Yet , in your haze , you can always hear that voice , always . The warm , soft gentle voice you always heard when they would comfort you , or hold you in their arms , or praise you . Who was it? It’s on the tip of your tongue…..

Ah …. Now you remember…. It’s your lover , Jiyan ….You could never forget his teal hair and warm voice . How could you?

But…. This doesn’t sound like him … he sounds worried… that’s not good…. Why? Is it because of you?… How sweet , but he doesn’t need to worry .

Deciding that you’ve been keeping him distressed long enough , you attempt to open your eyes and stop studying the back of your eye lids .

That didn’t turn out well .

You were greeted with a blinding light that sliced through your nerves and left you defenseless against the searing laser that burned your eyes.

You groans and tried to move your hand to block your face and save you from the searing light , but to your surprise, instead of your hand that covered your eyes , a hand clad in gold armor covered your face for you .

You looked around to see soft honey eyes looking back at you with such worry .

You reach for him only to be met with a burning pain . Wincing you look at your arm , only to almost puke .

Burned to a molten red with multiple scars around it , some flesh poking out while the rest curled in unnaturally . You looked away immediately. Would Jiyan not like you anymore?…..

As if he knew what you were thinking , he gently rubbed his hand across your arm , avoiding the wounds , as he kissed your forehead , gently murmuring sweet nothings .

“ Dear… please don’t worry , I’ll love you no matter what , if anything , I love you even more for attempting to help others . “ His voice was sweet at first , but then it hardened . “ However , I will not allow you back onto the battlefield. Your arm has retained multiple damages and it’s likely your nerves will not work properly… You can’t ever do that again . “

His voice wavers as he gives in and places his head on your collarbone . “ You made me worry so much ….”

Your eyes soften .

“ I’m so sorry for worrying you …” You attempt to soothe his nerves but then he raises his head and places his lips on yours .

“ It’s okay, just please… don’t ever do that” He nuzzles your neck gently , careful to avoid touching any wounds as he pampers you in affection.

Soon enough, you begin to tire as your body gives up because of how much time you’ve spent awake .

Your lover notices your eyes threatening to close and reassures you . “ Don’t worry , rest now . I’ll be here when you wake up .“

He gently takes hold of the hand that isn’t injured and kisses it . He then pets your head and gently kisses your cheek .

“Rest , I’ll watch over you “

————————————————————————

I hope you enjoyed this thing! I really don’t have anyone to proof-read this and give any opinions on it so critique is welcomed!

[n0tamused]

✧ ˚ ·After the war..

A/n: meow

Contents: angst, fem reader, character death, inspired by the poem included here from the 1939, have fun reading

Words: 552

Your hands shake around the yellowed and hardened paper, previously dry spots being marked by the wetness of your tears now. Not even hearing your own cries, your mind can only focus on the swimming letters that bubble up to your lash line and over your eyes, taunting you like giants and beasts your beloved used to tell you about. 

Faded lights fall in broken leaflets through the window as the sun outside kisses the surroundings mountains, the glass itself broken at the edge.

‘When the war is over,’.. you read again, fighting the urge to choke as you manage to catch each letter from the corners of your tears so you can put them back together, drinking in the familiar handwriting like it is the finest liquor. If you could, you would drink away whatever remained of your life with the contents of this letter, if only you could, but you can’t, and you make yourself read the following words..

‘we’ll get married and the earth will grow flowers like you’, the next line reads, the ink heavy in a few spots and you can imagine Jiyan sitting at some dirty, broken camp, writing the letter with an old quill that spills ink rather than write with it. He is surrounded by huddled men that trust him, that keep following him even if it means following him to the ends of the planet to eradicate this enemy that threatens them all. The smell is heavy from the campfire, and the coals are a roaring red and orange, sending blazes of flames licking up at the midnight sky. He can vividly see the pots of flowers sprouting just outside your window. And suddenly the mere thought of you, your smiling face, feels like a bed of thorns and nettles that he needs to lay in. And the quill in his hand presses harder, making the lines thicker, and he curses his own hand.

‘and your womb will carry the most beautiful girls in the universe.’ 

White hot agony fills you, and for a moment you can swear it is all anger within you trying to claw its way out, yet nothing comes out of you but sobs that wreck your entire body and have you clawing at the sofa in front of you. The cover is a dark teal, you feel cursed for simply touching the color now. Why, why, why, why, why him, why now? Has he been reckless? Has he forgotten the promise?

The edges of the paper are dotted with dark red splotches, and a few dry petals had fallen from the letter when you opened it. This had been found in the pocket on his chest, right over his heart where he thought he would be able to keep you closest to him. None of it mattered now; you clamp a hand over your mouth, your throat hurting raw from how long you spent on the floor like a wilting flower in a storm, your roots not strong enough to help you endure it as they once were.

You curse the world, you curse the tacet discords, you curse the ranger that brought you this letter, and you curse Jiyan for departing, you curse him for not taking you with him.

The world will never feel alive again. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[wuwaworld]

tw: ooc Mortefi, married relationship, Mortefi the cleanfreak /j, insecurities, arguement, angst to fluff, crack

Mortefi x Reader prompt.

; please do not take this seriously. ik mortefi won't be like this in a relationship. it's all in good fun for me.

Mortefi who somehow married a reader who always let their things be carelessly placed around the house.

Mortefi who even WONDERS how in the world his mind could say "yes, they're the one." when he looks at them across the office. their desk a mess with papers scattered around.

—

“we're not going to that dinner date.” Mortefi taunts, taking a few steps back dramatically as he watches how you somehow make your already messy desk.. more.. infuriatingly dirty.

“w-what?” you blinked confused, pausing on your work as you look up to him with a frown.

“clean that, and maybe I'll change my mind.”

—

Mortefi who thought that taunting you with his words will encourage you to clean up little by little. but you only seem to understand his teasing taunts as painful jabs to your heart. his words making you more upset as days passed by, losing even the motivation to work properly in the Academy. much less talk to him when the both of you arrived in your shared home.

Mortefi who realizes that he was such an idiot. that he thought the same trick he pulled when he was still your boyfriend will work. for goodness sake, you exchanged vows with him. it meant that your relationship took a different level, so his (teasing) encouragement should take up a notch.

but Mortefi soon realizes how he really messed up, when he comes home a bit early that day— only to find you a crying mess as you spat out insecurities after insecurities. it hurt his heart to see you like that, and he loathed himself for being the part of the problem that made you cry.

—

“why even marry me?” you spat, teary and hurt eyes stare back at him.

“my love..” Mortefi slowly walks towards you, pausing his steps as he sees that you tensed up, “I'm sorry.. I hadn't realize that you have taken offense to my words greatly.”

you stood silent, trying to gauge the expression on his face. when the silents lulls the shared home, Mortefi glances back up to you. his legs carefully bringing him towards you once more.

“I'm sorry, darling.” Mortefi whispers, bringing your hand up to his cheek. his head turning to the side as he kisses your palm. his heart was swelling with appreciation and awe as you didn't step back from his touch. and so Mortefi's kisses on your skin became more profound and pleading.

“let me make it up to you, please.” he mutters, his eyes sincere and apologetic.

—

on the day onwards, while his cleanfreak persona would just like to let your desk burn with his powers. he held himself back. Mortefi instead began to clean up your messy desk little by little with shaky, gloved hands. it almost looked like as if it pained him to be in such near proximity of it.

“Mortefi?” you blinked, looking at your husband in mild surprise as you had just came back from a meeting.

“oh,” Mortefi looks up when he hears your voice, “greetings.. my wife..”

“......” you blinked again, this time dumbfounded as you hear his odd wordings. he was so out of character.

when you glance down at your desk and up to him, you could pat yourself in the back on how you kept a neutral expression. hiding away the laugh attempting to crawl out on your throat, the feeling of a somewhat sweet revenge from the way he made you cry back then. the same source of problem that Mortefi was facing right now.

“are you okay?” you mutter as you take a stride towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“...am I..?” Mortefi mutters, looking back at the scattered papers and objects in disgust.

—

suffice to say, your sweet revenge of making your desk even more messier lasted up to 6 months. before Mortefi had to forcibly sit you down on your shared home, a 20-page slide presentation on how being a clean and organized person would help you in the long run.

it's only up to you whether you'll follow his advice or not..

>:))))

[coldherxriah]

Hey, how are you? i finally have some free afternoons and will work on some of the pending Wuwa requests and respond to the others in the inbox.

I will create a master list and notify that Wuwa requests are closed. Requests are open for HSR characters, although i have certain preferences for characters from Xianzhou Luofu and Xianzhou Yaoqing, such as Jing Yuan, Fu Xuan, Fei Xiao, Jiaoqiu, and Moze. However, you can request any character.

[alwayscorvus]

Do not forget your place

Do not forget your place - Part 1

bodyguard!malereader x Yuanwu, fluff, short;

a little bit angsty? But it's a good ending that matters, right?

How many years have you been his bodyguard? Five, ten…twenty?

It all started with that one session at his gym. At that time you were not the best, even pretty bad. Yuanwu, however, recognized something special in you.

And it wasn't about your torn, dirty clothes or the fact that you didn't have a single penny to pay.

Although that, indeed, was a big problem. Not for Yuanwu, he didn't care about money. But for you, for your pride. Ego.

Especially after the way he treated you so well.

You felt guilty for letting yourself get carried away with your emotions earlier. And for wanting to get rid of them, which led you to the ring.

You were no longer a teenager. In your opinion, you were far too old to be a trainee. Nevertheless, Yuanwu soothed your nerves over a cup of tea, provided a roof over your head, and eventually trained you. For a person he could entrust his life to.

It's not that Yuanwu needed a bodyguard. He was perfectly capable of protecting himself. Maybe even more than you. People in his position, however, were not suited for defending themselves. They could afford to hire someone to get their hands dirty.

Yuanwu was not fond of this idea, but he was not foolish either. He had to try really hard to keep being respected by others, in order to keep things in peace. "Maintain the stability." "Keep his hometown safe "*.

You heard a loud hoarse cough, which snapped you out of your thoughts.

Sight of your boss reappeared before you.

Elegantly dressed Yuanwu was sitting sideways to you on a white quilted couch. His longtime rival took a seat on opposite, simillar sofa. They were separated by a glass coffee table, with two cups of untouched tea. You stood straight, as the rest of bodyguards of both sides.

However, this was about to change.

Yuanwu's expression spoke by itself. At least to you.

In a split second you dashed forward. Shots rang out all around.

Yuanwu jumped up. And you felt a ripping pain of a bullet rubbing against your shoulder. Yuanwu was safe. But only for a moment. You had to get him out of there.

Your co-worker just collapsed onto a floor. Wounded by another weapon. Other took cover behind a pillar. And by great aiming, took revenge of his friend. Got rid of a bodyguard from an opposite side.

Yuanwu's rival was preparing for another attack. You grabbed your boss by his hand and rushed towards the door.

On your way, you had to push off another attacker. Struggle was brief. In a rush of adrenaline, you managed to dodge all his punches.

While you cleared the way, Yuanwu protected your back until you both were able to safely leave the building.

You ended up in a black alley, a few blocks away from a meeting spot and a few kilometers from home. Your hearts pounded like crazy. And breaths were raspy. You started screaming. About how stupid this idea was. About how he could have died.

-You know what they are like! It was obvious that they would attack you! And what if something had happened to you, huh?!

-Then I would die. And what? No one would care - he said with stern voice.

-Are you joking? Eveyone would care! I would care! -you uttered in a breaking voice.

Your emotions took control of you. Eyes turned glassy.

Yuanwu's expression wasn't helping. He looked at you terrified. As if your words and message behind them were much worse than todays events.

You looked at the man with hope. Seeking for support. Without thinking, you reached your hand towards him. You grasped his arm tightly.

You didn't know why you were so heartbroken. You have been in these situations many times. Even in much worse ones. But today-… After what he said-… You wanted him to finally understand that he really was important. That he had people around him who cared. That he had you.

Finally, you could become his support. The same that he has been for you for past years.

Yuanwu shook your hand off. Before you had time to react he turned on his heel and with a slow steps started to head towards an alley exit.

-It's better for us to go already.

-B-but-!

-Stop - he interrupted you. And you couldn't believe what was happening - Do not forget your place. You are just my bodyguard.

His voice was sharp, harsh and forceful. It hit you deep and greatly broke your heart.

You gripped your chest. You had to check if the pain was real.

-O-oh… okay... I understand-

Lie. You couldn't understand. All your shared memories passed before your eyes. Your trainings, walks. How you brewed tea or how you decorated your home together. Hours spent on talking.

Over the years, Yuanwu became your mentor, your friend, something more. On many occasions you joked around, gave hints. And you weren't the only one. It's true that man always quickly changed the subject. But he never openly showed his disapproval.

That hurt. Even though you were already mature and ready for a rejection.

But not in this way-

You understood that Yuanwu might not feel the same, might not approve it. But you would have given anything for him to accept your care. Even if only as from a friend.

But if that was his will, you had to accept it. Quickly you pulled yourself together. With a swift motion, you wiped away your tears and continued in a cold voice:

-Sorry.

Yuanwu stopped for a moment. It was as if this one word affected him more than the previous few. Nevertheless, you couldn't see his face. And you didn't even want to.

Chills ran through his body.

But your only goal now was to return home. His home.

*quotes from Yuanwu voicelines

[mm-lurking]

Nothing will ever fix us - Jiyan

A/N: Had an idea while I was sick and I ran with it. Warnings: Jiyan x fem! reader, angst with no happy ending, not really proofread I got tired WC: 2444 -- Everyone around you always talked about timing when it came to love. “If you find the right person you will make it work no matter what!” “There is no such thing as the wrong time.” “If you really wanted to, you would have.” It was so easy for them to say. So easy for them to say, you think as your fist tightens into a ball and your knuckles turn white. The item in your fist protrudes into your skin and the irregular edges pinch at the thinner edge of your palms but the pain is nothing compared to the aching in your heart that shows no signs of dulling.

You unravel your fist and stare at the item again. It was a necklace Jiyan gifted to you on your first anniversary together. You remember how surprised you were staring at the J-shaped gold pendant decorated with tiny emerald pieces. The shock on your face as you tried to form sentences only to look like a dying fish had Jiyan chuckling loudly, a sound you so dearly loved to hear.

“Jiyan…I…what-“

“Do you like it?”

He softly asks as you hold the necklace box in your hands. He notes how your hands shake slightly, as if afraid of the weight that the gift holds. One of his slender hands holds onto your occupied hand and he gently squeezes them.

“I- of course I do! But-“

“As long as you like it, my love.”

You gulp as you pry your eyes away from the glimmering necklace and look into his golden ones.

“Jiyan this is too much…and it’s just our first anniversary you can’t-“

“Nothing is too much when it comes to you. Nothing.”

You sense the determination and sheer amount of love he has for you. His voice is firm and resolute as if he’s sure he wants you right now and forever. That there is no one except you in this lifetime and more.

Tears blur your vision and you clench your teeth so tightly that you can feel them aching into your gums. The necklace falls from your palm and hits the floor with a loud thud as you bring your hands to your face and sob heavily. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. You didn’t want it to end like this. What choice did you have?

Jiyan was the perfect man. He truly really was. A well-versed medic and general with a gentle personality who knew when and where to display his power. He was observant; no detail ever slipped his eye and he made sure everyone and everything was taken care of. That is exactly what made you fall in love with him so deeply. You swore this man had no flaw -he was so well-rounded that nothing about him was a problem to you. Sure, he was stubborn and cared more for his troops and others than himself, but don’t we all? Aren’t we all like that for the ones we love? 

Yet when days turned into months, and months into years you realised that perhaps, just perhaps, the downside to meeting such a perfect man was that you were fated to never have him close to you. That when duty called and the lives of civilians were at stake you had to sacrifice your relationship so he could keep everyone safe. The sacrifice of your love was crucial so the army troops were not selfishly sacrificed.

The first few times it was fine. You didn’t mind having to part ways with him because it was part of the package -it was part of dating General Jiyan. You knew what you signed up for and you were ok with it. You were prepared to be lonely because you had been single before, so what was so hard about having a man but just not having him by your side? At least you had a companion, one so beyond your league you still wondered what you did to be blessed with him. You were his and he was yours.

But there is only so much burden a heart can hold. Some nights you couldn’t sleep when your aching heart haunted you instead of a good night’s rest. Some nights your anxiety ran wild as you thought of all possible worst-case scenarios of Jiyan getting hurt or worse…finding out he’s dead. Some nights you stayed awake wondering why you hadn’t received a reply from him when days and even weeks had passed. Other nights you stayed up sobbing into your arms, wondering when you would get to walk around with Jiyan in the city and have fun like all these other couples did. The bed was so cold and empty without him.

However you persisted. When those long nights passed and your tears dried, you washed your face, sucked it up and went to work. You had a duty to fulfill and the world didn’t care how painful it was to practically never see the man who owned your heart. You didn’t hold Jiyan accountable, you knew he didn’t do it on purpose. His long letters to you detailed how much he loved you and missed you and how sorry he was for missing the second anniversary or your new promotion or how he couldn’t make it back in time for the new years and other holidays where families celebrated together…you forgave and you forgave.

Until your third anniversary came around. He had told you he would be there for the day as work had lightened up. He told you he had a surprise for you and that he wanted you to dress your best and meet him at a specific spot. You remember how giddy you felt reading that letter, kicking your feet like a teenager in love and screeching with each word he wrote. Finally! Some quality time with my man! 

If only you knew.

He didn’t show up on the promised night. You waited and waited but there was no sign of Jiyan. The sun rested and the moon rose yet the love of your life wasn’t here. You stood there awkwardly, dressed head to toe like a supermodel compared to the civillians as they eyed you while walking past. Some grandmothers even offered to take you home, wondering what a maiden like you was doing alone dressed like this in such a place. The embarrassment turned into tears that bubbled in your eyes and eventually, you stormed home out of humiliation and frustration. Enough was enough.

The doorbell rang at 11 pm that night. You had changed out of your attire and gotten ready for bed. With a heavy heart, you went to open the door only to find the man responsible for your heartache standing there. You remember the way your tear-stained face turned into one of fury as you stared at him, angry and infuriated.

“Leave.”

There were several million things you wanted to say but that’s all you manage to squeak out. Jiyan stands there with an exhausted face as he looks at you, his heart breaking as he hears the coldness in your voice. You try to shut the door on him but his muscular arm blocks you from doing so.

“My love please-“

“Do not even use that term on me right now, General Jiyan.”

His Adam's apple bobs as he harshly swallows. He knew he messed up big time but he wanted you to listen to his side of the story.

“Something came up. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I was going to come to the city but there was an emergency I had to resolve. Unfortunately it took much longer than I expected, for which I apologise.”

You scoff. You had spent this whole time crying and just when you had managed to calm down, of course he had to reignite the tears again. You angrily wipe your tears as you point your finger at him.

“Every single time you couldn’t come to see me, I forgave you. I forgave you for missing holidays, my new promotion, all important milestones in our relationship…I forgave and I forgave and I forgave!”

With each word you speak, your tone gets harsher and louder. Your finger trembles as you jab it into his chest continuously. You were fuming from how much he had neglected you all this time. Jiyan frowns in sadness as he watches you express your anger.

“The one time,” you say shakily, “the one time I had my hopes up for us, the one time I went all out as you requested me to do so… you just had to get me excited and happy only for you to shatter everything into pieces, didn’t you?!”

Hot tears roll down your eyes as you continue to yell at him. He tries to move away from the door and step inside your house but you prohibit him.

“Don’t even think about coming inside Jiyan.”

“Please, listen to me.”

“There is nothing left to listen to! Do you not understand?!”

Sobs wreck your body as you cry even harder. Your head hurts from all the tears you shed today and your eyes show no signs of stopping anytime soon. He extends his arm forward to comfort you but you swat it away.

“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Jiyan. This…,” you point back and forth at the two of you, “is not working between us.” His eyes widen and waver at your words, unable to believe you would say such a thing.

“If…if you need more time, or a break away from me I totally understand but please,” his voice quietens as he continues, “please don’t leave me.” You can hear the pain in his words and it makes you cry harder but you shake your head.

“Don’t make this difficult for me. You can barely come back to the city to visit your mother let alone come visit me. You have spent most of your life on the battlefield and it’s the only place you ever will be. You don’t have time for me Jiyan, admit it. Admit it that you cannot give me the time and attention I need.”

Your voice breaks by the end of it. You never imagined there would be a day you would have to break up with this man. You truly thought you both would be together for eternity, that no matter what came your way, no matter what obstacles you faced, no matter how difficult things got for both of you, you always thought you both would be together through it all.

Yet that was never meant to be the case.

Jiyan forcefully swallows and stares at the ground for a moment, contemplating something as tears fill his eyes. Then with great sorrow, he looks up at you and awkwardly smiles. You cannot stop crying as you gaze into his eyes, hiccuping through your tears while trying to say something. You wanted to comfort him but that would make your decision harder.

“If…if you ever find yourself wishing for me again, my love…please know that my doors are always open for you.”

You wail like a widow upon hearing those words.

“I am sorry…I am sorry for doing this Jiyan…but this is for the best.”

Your throat burns from how aggressively you’ve cried so far. You shake your head, not wanting to deal with this anymore. The longer he stayed the more difficult he would make it for you to stay true to your words. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before giving your verdict.

“Leave Jiyan. Go. I hope you find your happiness elsewhere.”

His gaze lingers on you for a little longer as he takes in the last of you. You can see him trace your features mentally, etching every curve and crevice of you into his memory to last for a lifetime. Then with a heavy heart, he turns around and walks a few steps before stopping. He looks sideways, just enough for you to see his side profile but not enough for you to see the heartbreak that is visible on his face.

“I will never find happiness in anyone but you.”

Without turning back he walks away, leaving you in fresh tears as his grieving voice rings in your head. You watch him leave until he disappears from your line of sight. A gust of wind shuts your door close, closing off not just your encounter but also your relationship with him.

The flashbacks force you to open your puffy eyes and you slouch against the wall slowly as you slump to the floor. You can’t help but tug on the hairs on your scalp as everything hurts and burns. The necklace he gifted you lays by your feet and you stare at it for a while before hesitantly picking it up while crying. Anger surges through your body and you throw the necklace across the room, screaming in agony as you do so.

You want to hate him for making you feel like this, for taking your heart so lovingly and crushing into nothingness but the logical part of you knows it’s not his fault. You know he would never willingly hurt you and you know he didn’t want to make you feel like this. Yet sometimes as human beings our actions speak louder than words; no matter how many paragraphs of sickly sweet love letters someone writes, no matter how much someone says they will be there for you through thick and thin, their behaviour will speak volumes.

Simply put, he couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved and nothing could fix that, not even his letters and gifts to you. And even after two months of breaking up with him, you find it hard to find closure over your broken relationship. You stay there on the floor as you continue to cry your lungs out, letting yourself be a mess. In the distance, your phone screen lights up from an unknown number. You are too occupied in your grief to pay attention to the messages.

[sent 23:07] I…I know you’ve blocked me from reaching you so forgive me for finding another way

[sent 23:11] The battle was tough and I fear I don’t have much time left

[sent 23:13] But if I had to choose this life again

[sent 23:15] And I had to choose to love you again

[failed to send] I would

[failed to send] I would do it in a heartbeat 

[failed to send] I love you

[failed to send] Forever and always

[failed to send] Jiyan ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.