#wtf sir you hid this from me

[charles-leclerc-official]

the serve of the GODDAMNED season

📷 Charles Leclerc insta

[ungodlysaltyinfrastructure]

What up gang 😎

Nothing heartbreaking here. Nuh uh. No sir-ey! Just a nice happy family 👍

(Yall getting a double whammy of an alt version of the first one)

Ok, time for incoherent ramblings.

Since AR 14 I've been thinking alot about Alux's parents. More in the sense of, what the fuck is going on with Alux's mom

The circumstances of Alux's mother's death are extremely suspicious.

She was

Murdered

It was IN FRONT OF ALUX

It seemed like it was an ambush of some kind.

There seems to be no clear reason

Why she died is ambiguous. Was it a planned attack? Or did Alux and his mother get tangled in the crossfire of a battle that didn't originally involve them?

If it was planned, why only go for Alux's mom????? Did they kill his mom, and then not realize he was just standing there??????

Or maybe during the attack Alux hid? And the following shots of his dead mom we see from his perspective is the aftermath of everything, and it had died down?

If this attack was purely meant for his mom, why?

If the QUEEN OF COZEN had DIED, what would the other kingdoms say?

What the hell did Hamatria say??????

Could the queen's death be, if not THE, then one of the inciting incidents that lead to the rising tensions between Hamatria and Cozen?

Mind you, all of this shit would have been like, 15 years ago. Maybe 20 if Alux is a bit older. So like. Wtf was going in back then.

Now, there is one thing. And it's that, how do magic users come to be? Is it genetic? Or can it be manually learned? With Alux, it may be genetic. (Mother fucker took one sip of pink and then BUSTed green crystals all over the place, he did NOT learn that manually) And if so, it would be from his mom. (Elric fucking died by a stab wound and Alux seems to have super healing abilities. Either Elric is not a magic user, or he is not the father.)

Either way, it seemed like Alux's mom had the Magic Gene™️

in a kingdom that's racist to Magic users.

…

Maybe Elric didn't hate magic users as much as Alux would put it.

Maybe he was just weary of Alux discovering his magic abilities in a kingdom that would probably lynch you if you were a magic user.

Maybe Elric didn't really like Petro, not because he was gay- *cough* sorry, a magic user, but that he was teaching his son about magic when his son has magical powers.

Not gonna lie, if I had lost my wife for being a magic user, and now my son was most likely one, and he was set to become king of a kingdom that *has the reputation of not liking magic users* when I died, I would be scared shitless for him.

That actually brings me to a question, did Elric start this whole “Magic user bad” thing in Cozen, or was it already within its culture and he just had to abide by it so he wouldn't get overthrown? Eh. Either way,

Whether or not it was a consequence of Elrics actions, Alux would definitely not have been prepared for being king, (That's kind why he's going on this self discovery adventure) so like…

Maybe… At least we have a motive for Elric's action of keeping Alux sheltered and inside the Castel? Granted, if Elric started the whole Magic racism thing then it's his own fault his son is not ready, but 🤷

That actually brings me to this.

Did Elric ever feel guilt for not being there for his family when they were in danger? Did he ever feel empathy for Alux or regret in his decision to keep him inside? Did he feel shame for not taking better care of his son? Did he sometimes feel like he did everything wrong but can't go back?

Did he ever feel alone after his wife died?

I'm actually kind of sad that Elric died so early on. A Lot could have been done with him. But maybe we'll see that in flashbacks. But that does leave room for speculation that could *in canon* be left up to the viewer to interpret so :DDDDDDDDDDDD I'm gonna rewrite Elric!1!!1!! Or maybe, add onto his character that wouldn't be shown within the series. Yippee🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[bruh-anator3000]

CAT-astrophic

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A/n: *pushes rock I live under over and peeks out of the black abyss* Hey, have you guys seen a Car Wash Miguel fic anywhere? I don't know what happened to it but it's no longer here. Might've escaped... anyways, watch this cat for me while I look? Thanks. And don't mind the hot homeless dude who talks to him, they're bonding. *returns into the depths of the void*

Summary: A hot dude won't stop talking to your cat, it's kind of freaking you out.

WC: 1.7k, edited by google docs...

Pairing: Miguel x GN!Reader

Warnings: crack fic, Spider-cat's real name is Sir Jeffords bc i said so, clueless reader, pro outdoor cat (i'm not actually, keep ur cats safe pls), future-ish?, accidentally snuck in some world building, in Lyla we trust 🙏, Miguel in tight clothing bc I also said so, and wait wtf are you doing with a dead rat miguel, AND WTF IS THIS WHITE STUFF DUDE?!

Also no Spanish bc I've done some research and those who do speak it have asked non-native speaker to avoid it, to prevent bad google translations and maintain respect!

Okay, enjoy~

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You were about to head in for the night when you were not tripped by your cat for his dinner. After a quick search around your apartment, you sighed upon realizing he was still outside. Shrugging on a coat, mismatched slippers, and grabbing a flashlight, you went out to look for him.

Plenty of people told you to keep your cat inside. That it was vital to their health to keep them safe indoors. There were plenty of articles stating the cons of letting a domesticated cat roam freely outside with no supervision. They were also written 80 years ago. The world has changed since then, drastically.

Sure, it would still be smart to keep Sir Jeffords inside. Less late night searches for him, no more worrying if that scratch on his right paw was from running too fast along pavement or something worse. But he came from the life of an alley cat, and no matter what you tried, he had to be out there for a few hours a day. Last time you tried to stop him, he went under your radar for three days. You had a panic attack, worried he didn't love you anymore, but he did eventually come back. Chipper and eager, and he made sure you left his cat door unlocked.

The streets were cleaner than 80 years ago. The people were kinder. The city more accommodating to everyone, even stray animals. Sir Jeffords was mirco chipped, and even if it didn't work for tracking half the time, the shelter folks could scan his neck and drop him back home.

There were no pounds or pest controls anymore, just volunteers who helped poor animals stay warm. And find whoever left them in the streets. It was a crime to leave them now, resulting in 6 months of detention if caught dumping your animal friend into the alleys.

Jeffords was a smart cat. He knew what he was doing. You trusted him. In the event of something bad happening, you made him swore he would come find you right away. Though he couldn't speak, his tail wrapping around your pinky seemed solid enough.

You called out his name, followed by a few 'pspspsps's to really seal the deal. Your flashlight shining in the darker corners of the streets he may be hiding in. Cats and their dark, unreachable corners, Sir Jeffords fell victim to any cozy spot he could barely tuck himself into.

It wasn't until a few blocks away, a little past the bank, when you heard a meow. Very similar to his, you quietly sped your pace, wanting to grab your kitty and go home. The closer you got, it seemed more like he was responding to someone else more than you.

"-and your service is always appreciated." You heard a deep voice whisper. Their voice a grumble echoing through the alley they hid in. "You're one of our best." Your brows pinching together, you turned the corner of the bank, flashlight illuminating your fluffy orange cat. Who was rubbing up against the shin of a random man.

He looked up at you, eyes darkened as he blocked your flashlight with his large hand. They almost seemed red as he stayed squatted, Sir Jeffords head butting his knee. His face pure sharp angles, with a scowl permanently in place. His black shirt a tight, compressing fit. Clinging to each muscle and vein in his arm, stopping halfway down his bicep. His calves just as impressive. His shorts doing nothing but making him look even hotter.

Wait, no. This was a random man, he wasn't hot.

You lowered the light and gave an awkward smile. Seemingly unimpressed, his hardened gaze turned back to your cat. "He's yours?" He asked, voice rumbling low in his chest. With a nod, he added, "He's... cute."

Okay, maybe he was a little hot.

"Right?" Your smile smoothed into something more natural. "He's the cutest cat to ever exist." You lowered yourself down onto your knees with a soft baby call. Sir Jeffords trotting into your lap happily, orange fur swaying with his steps.

Your hand ran through his silky fur. Tension easing from you as you held him close again. Though his three day disappearance had yet to happen again, you still worried. He was your precious baby, after all. The one you shared everything with, and he never once judged.

Your fingers caught on something sticky, stopping short of his lower back. Pulling your hand away, strings of white followed, sticking to your fingertips. The feeling moist and far too clingy for comfort. A disgusted shiver ran up your spine at the horrible sensory.

The man stood then, tossing a tissue at you as he did. His gaze stayed on your cat, never faltering. He pushed his dark hair away from his face, still scowling.

Glancing between your hand and the man that now towered over you, you almost gagged. This wasn't... his, right?

"It was the rat." Like he read your mind, the mysterious stranger held out his other hand. A dead rat laid in his palm.

"That... doesn't make me feel much better." You suppressed another full body shake, quickly wiping your hand off. This guy may be extremely attractive to look at but the longer you stayed there, the more uncomfortable you got. "How would a mouse... And what is this?" You felt yourself getting sick as you held the tissue out, the white stuff now sticking to the paper instead

"Webs. And, it's a rat." He stated with a straight face. More angry at your confusion than anything. "Chased him through some spider webs."

You let out a soft 'oh.' But that didn't explain why he was holding onto the dead rat.

And he let it stay that way. Instead of reading your mind like he had been this entire time, he just... walked off. With a dead animal in his grasp. Without a word.

Your confused gaze turned to your cat, knees beginning to ache from the pressure of concrete beneath. Sir Jeffords purred into your stomach loudly.

"You're not allowed to hang out with that guy, ever again."

...

"Christ!" Miguel tossed the rat at the wall, hearing him curse. The small animal glitched into a grown adult, body morphing sickly. "That..." The villain panted, rubbing at his neck. Bruises from how tightly he was held already forming there. "... was not what I was expecting."

Miguel squatted back down, balancing on his toes as the hologram of regular clothes shifted back into his suit. "You chose to become a rat, in a world whose Spider-Man is a cat." He slammed down a disk, red netting encasing the fool. "That was your own fault."

"It was the only way I could get into the bank!" The villain squeaked. Miguel tuned out almost immediately, eyes turning to his watch. Setting the portal to his universe, and making sure he wasn't needed elsewhere. He entertained the villain in a tacky grey suit with distant hums and 'oh, yeah, uh-huh's. It was best to just let them get it out of their system then try to shut them up.

"And I would've gotten away with it, too! If it weren't for you and your cat!" The shape shifter writhed in the nets.

"Sound like a damn Scooby-Doo villain." Miguel stood up with a huff. He would never admit it, but Hobie used the term so often, he had to look up what he was referencing. Only to end up watching the first few seasons. He had to stop around the third season, a sick sense of deja vu hitting him with a bat. The cartoons reminded him too much of the daughter he never really had.

With a sigh, "Lyla," He called.

The AI appeared before him, wearing a shit eating smirk. He opened his mouth to command something else when she beat him to it. "You should've asked for their number."

"What?" Miguel's head snapped up, eyes wide.

"They were cute, should've asked them on a date." She glitched to his side with a teasing laugh.

"Lyla, I... no." He grumbled, flicking at his watch.

"Oh, you know?" Miguel tried to smack her away, only for her to reappear on his left shoulder. "You should go back, then."

Miguel glared at her, ignoring how the tips of his ears began to burn. "I can't, its-"

"Not a canon event." They said at the same time. Lyla rolling her eyes behind her heart-shaped glasses, Miguel focusing on creating a portal. "You're such a loser, you know that?" She huffed and puffed, spawning with her back turned to him.

He tried to reach out with a heavy breath, but she moved further away. This time sitting with her arms crossed and pouting.

"They were cute." The villain nodded from his fetal position on the ground. Earning a glare from the two. Shrinking further into himself, the shape-shifter apologized.

Miguel thrust his forearms forward, his mantis blades catching on the fabric of time. Ripping them apart with a grunt. Orange and purple twisted in front of him, and he grabbed a hold of the red netting the anomaly was in.

"Meet me back at HQ," He spoke to his AI with a nod. Foot already in the portal, he turned to cast a menacing glance at Lyla. "And do not try anything."

She held up her hands in defense, watching the portal close behind him. It wasn't like she even had to do anything - not anymore. She already slipped his multiversal number into the collar of Spider-Cat. All that needed to happen was you either found it, or it fell out. Lyla just had to wait to see which option would be canon.

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Check out my Masterlist!

[redraven393]

catching up with Philza QSMP Vod. where:

the federation had ruined an old man's front lawn

Rycharlison is adrugdealer

forever took an opportunity and "marries" Philza

immediately met with his wife

the federation send an anarchist an invitation to become a president

Tallulah will rather eat a lime than an avocado or potato

Philza guess Ramon's password

Tallulah's father may or may not be real

Hide and seek in an awesome map Holly shit

the 4th wall has been broken so many times in Philza's Minecraft stream that the admins just let it be broken.

both dad and son thought that the other hid in the same place

the Brazilian are here! :D

there are so many screaming

Tallulah finds him yayyyy

hello Rycharlison

aww there gonna play music

PIG STEPPPP

HESNAMEISPHILZAMINECRAFTANDHEISQUITE OLD-

"my son is DEAD" omg Max

PHILZA OMG u didn't need to describe it

PAYthe SERVER Quackity

Pac and Mike are so cool

BIG LOVE TO MIKE AND PAC

omg Philza is spreading the 4th wall break

the file is so big omg, paper ASMR

"Are you gonna be a president" Sir he is an Anarchist

Max the sound system-the microphone

awww Supportive Philza, opp

Bye MAX

aww the Kids are playing the Guitar

it's nice when the cc are doing lore the admins are still acting like kids

AWWW TALLULAH TEACHING RICHA A SONG THAT WILL TEACH HER

Tallulah BIRTHDAY OMG

yey go stuff that girl with candy

Chayanne is really making plenty of use of his interest in cooking

THE BEES

CATERING LETS GOOO

omg Richa thinks that Will is like Hatsune Miku

Bye guys

is sweet to know that Philza is telling about Will to everyone

OMG Philza the Brazillian magnet

the eggs hear Will's songs too

oh? what do you have Richa

is that a llama

ohhh

omg

Forever is so obsessed with this friend of his omg

HYDRATE BEFORE DIEDRATE

wait the Brazilians are all gone

oh shit

oh no this is like that time with the trio

PARANOIA

Trauma Phil

a Square??

GATINHO and GUAPITO is here

the old man witnesses a shameless PDA

Tallulah is dancing in the background

opp Tallulah not here

the fish is drowning

hey Cellbit

Yay invitations for everyone!!!!

omg

no one believes Wilbur exists

Cellbit nooo

OMG

Chayanne is cooking for the WEDDING

LETS GOOOOO

LET HIM COOK

Cellbit nooo

Cellbit supports Creative Freedom

omg Phil's right Quackity will pull that type of stunt

Cellbit nooo

Richa has never taken a bath wtf???

oh shit he running

yeah show him your dad's picture

omg photoshopped

Forever and Roier is here!!!

omg Forever is gaslighting Holly shit

A Mouth!?

Chayanne is busy planning the catering

Professional Cheft Chayanne LETS GOOOOO

past life Philza omg

Philza is not having it

yeah Richa hit him in the head

your PLAN?????

oh well fair enough

Gaslight vs Guilt trip

omg that is a whole ass restaurant menu

BAGHEERA

yey french

tour pog???

oh shit a BAND??

the band is playing at the WEDDING???

they are so cuteeeeeee

nice home, it sweet that everyone try to make space for the kids in their home

why Cellbit is keeps killing other player

omg Baghera sound so scared that Phill would steal from her the poor lady

nice Megalovania mix it takes me back to 2018

the girls are so talented on music omg

hehe secret

holly shit a bucket full of honey

scary noises

THANKYOU BAHERAA

ohh candy apple

Chayanne professional chef bag

Tallulah is the best

Bagheraa nooo

oh thank god she believe Will is real

Will would have to socialize so much after he came back.

WhOOO THE KIDS FIRST PERFORMANCE

ROCK EGGS

Tallulah is following her old man foot step

bye Bagheraa

oh no the flowers

the Federation building is heighten Phil's property value

ohhh the kids are visiting the build

don't stand on the grass kids

walk on grass anyway

wtf????

what is that???

it is a pretty building

what is going on with the train station??? it was fixed

so they can leave now??

it looks brand new?

fancy train, but bumbpy ride

wat?

AWWW the RACON

aw god no VENUSSS

another venus gone

its okay Tallulah

that is so fuk

oh dragon magic

lol the flies is sitting the trains

lol Chayanne try to catch the bees but got stung

aww Tallulah babby dont be sad

eyy the bois are here

glad they could make Tallulah cheer up

looks like the happy couple happy with the menu

bye boisss

Max is going to get food lmao

it's nice to live near everything but it could also could be dangerous

Tallulah's and will's house really feels like a nice little fantasy corner

yay the kids are now able to get out

sleepy timesss

ohh an album

EGGJOY or RADIO EGG

lol the Wedding photo

Great Album Tallulah

Dragon Story POG

is it Mumza????

you guys will absolutely outlive me

CRY

oh is the Admins asking advice for the Dragon designs???/

if the kids get their wings i hope they also give the bird designed CC wings too

Tallulah pls he's an old man you can't make him run so much

Whooo birthdayyyy

AWWW thank you Tallulah

why is Foolish drowning?

oh god

lol Foolish

omg they were trying to give richa a bath

77777

yeah secur the party old man

kinda sadge

BYE PHIILLL

[roamingtigress]

So I had a dream where the ladies went out shopping and Tilly assigned me duty of watching the men. I apparently thought it was a great idea to go around petting everyone and this is how it went (I try to remember to jot down all my dreams in a notepad file): Jack: Jack BIT me. Yelled "mean mean mean!" and also kicked my shins and ran away somewhere before I could react. Kid was feral. John: Thought I was weird. I patted him on the shoulder. He accused me of 'you probably eat babies!" I told him I was vegetarian and he was like 'wtf is a vegetarian' and when I explained to him he was even more 'yeah, you eat babies!' Like . . . Did he think babies are vegetables?! I asked him if he thought his own kid was a rutabaga and he just stared at me and said 'that confirms it, you eat babies.' I apparently eat babies with my salads. Dutch: He was surprisingly shy (!) and then when I called him 'aw Babygirl Kitten Whiskers" he blushed and got all softy and booped his forehead against mine. I booped him on the nose when he sort of bit me when I was scratching his chin. Proceeded to follow me around camp, I kept an arm around his waist and kept petting him and anytime I touched him around waist/belly he leaned into me. Attention whore. Arthur: Kind of liked it at first, and then after a moment he was all "I got a satchel to make!" in the same tone as "you sir are a fish!" So I petted him when he worked on a satchel and was all 'i hear you're one of those vegetabletarians, I could help you find some wild carrots!" essentially mocked me :P Word spread through the camp quickly about the wild carrots. Pearson: Threw a fish at me and said 'this isn't a petting zoo, why are you petting everyone?' :D Hosea: Yelled 'you slut' and at first I thought it was directed at me but no it was his husband and while he was OK with me petting Dutch, he reminded him of who he belonged to. When I petted Hosea he was like 'why are you petting me' and then came around to liking it (I rubbed his shoulders) and the three of us went around the camp. Micah: Micah BIT me and laughed at me and said something like you know there's a place and time for petting, heeheeheee." Charles: Understandably weirded out by some stranger touching him as anyone would be, but happily mocked me, telling me there's some Yarrow outside camp that I could have with my wild carrots. All of them teased me about wild carrots. Thanks, Arthur. Uncle: I patted him on the head and he was amused, telling me that if I'm not careful, I could start something :D Reverend Swanson: I think he was weirded out but didn't resist much. Gave me a look, took a swig of whisky and continued to read the bible. Kieran: :( Ran and hid under a wagon before I could give pets. He was still among those who teased me about wild carrots from his hiding place, that his horse needs them. Javier: Got weirded out as I decided to pet him while playing the guitar (dream me apparently has no boundaries). He stopped playing for a moment and decided to play duelling banjos with Sean. Sean: 'Aye, I could tell you're part Irish from how you touch me, fkin hell!" He liked it. Gave me a bottle of Irish whisky and I drank it in one go. He was amazed. Bill: Drunk and passed out on a table but I still gave pets. Trelawny: Went in hiding with Kieran.

[keneestorytimelibrary]

Rockey Chapter 32

“What are we doing?!” I asked as Raffa led me to the bar at the restaurant. We had arrived a few minutes before Celia and Antonio, and Raffa wanted to make sure that we weren’t seen by them. He even went as far as to pay the host and the waiter extra money to tell Celia we were already seated, and I dropped food on him. He freaked, and demanded that we head back to the house so that he can change. And to be fair, I can only guess that Celia and Antonio would believe that. 

“I’m helping a friend out.” Raffa said, as he grabbed two large menus, and hid our faces. The bartender looked at us as if we were weird.

Just as I was about to ask what he meant, Antonio and Celia walked in. Celia made a quick turn around the restaurant to see if she could spot us. Raffa made sure to park a block away from the restaurant. 

When she didn’t, she briefly spoke to the host, and left to the table with Antonio. Apparently they believed the story. Celia even texted Raffa and called Rockey, “a horrible clumsy person that might start a fire.” Raffa couldn’t help but laugh at that part.

“I mean, she does have a point…” Raffa said. “I mean, only you would find a way to make a black shirt noticeably dirty.”

“I knew you would say something about it!” I exclaimed in a low voice. I followed with a swift kick, but was intercepted by Raffa. He grabbed my leg, and held them in place. Thank God I shaved!

“What can I help you folks with?” the Bartender asked carefully as she crept towards us. It startled the shit out of Raffa and I. 

“Yes, I’ll have an Old Fashioned Manhattan. And the lady will take…” Raffa said pointing at me,

I didn’t know what possessed me, but I said, “Manhattan…?” I really didn’t know what to say. Raffaele and the bartender just stared at me, not moving an inch.

“Why don’t we get a menu for her…” Raffaele said slowly. I buried my face underneath my hands, hoping that I would be whisked away from my embarrassment. 

Raffa laughed once the bartender left. “Oye Ragazza, what do you normally drink?”

“To be honest, Moscato and Pinot Grigio.” I said, trying to remember my go to wines. “But I wanted to sound cool…” Admitting that last part was VERY DIFFICULT.

Raffa hailed the bartender again. “A bottle of Pinot Grigio please.” he said. She quickly returned with a bottle and a long stem glass.

Raffa returned his gaze to where Antonio and Celia once stood. It then just finally hit me. “Did you only agree to come to hook them up together?” I asked. 

Raffa didn’t answer at first, but after a few minutes of me poking him, he finally opened up. “Antonio has had the biggest crush on Celia for the longest. He has a hard time admitting it, but I know him. And I know her. The only way I could get them alone was to go to this dinner.”

I was shocked. “Who would’ve known...that the old man likes playing Cupid?” I teased. He made a face at me. 

“Here is your drink sir.” the bartender said when she returned with his drink. 

I don’t know what possessed him, but he handed me his drink. “Have a taste.” he said. I don’t know why, but it sounded a bit sensual. 

I grabbed his drink, and without breaking eye contact, took a quick sip. It was NASTY. I quickly made a disgusted face, and gave him his drink back. 

“Ugh Raffa, that is NASTY!” I exclaimed. “Do you drink this often? No wonder you are cranky!” 

He surprisingly laughed at my comment. “It is mandatory for all old men to like bitter drinks.” 

We laughed, and began making small jabs at one another. The conversation was comfortable and light; for a few seconds I had forgotten who he was. 

We were at least three shots in before Celia and Antonio’s texts came through.

Celia to Raffa:

“Hey, heard about what Rockey did! That clumsy oaf! Are you heading                   back?”

Antonio to Raffa:

“Bro! WTF?! WHERE R U?!”

Raffa smirked at the texts. I couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “Are they asking you where you are?” I asked.

“Yeah, and to be honest, I don’t feel like responding or “showing up”.” he said, adding air quotations at the end. “Want to go?” 

“Like, leave them?” I asked, completely shocked that he even suggested it.

“Yeah, let’s go.” he said, grabbing a few bills from his wallet and placing it on the counter. We snuck out, and broke out into a run to his car. 

We were laughing hard as we got inside. As I was buckling my seatbelt, I asked, “Where do you want to go?”

[dweam-en-eff]

DNF CHICKEN VIDEO LIVEBLOG NOW THAT I CAN WATCH IT WOOO

lmao dream didnt even tell him the premise before starting "BTW I CAN GLIDE" im an idiot i thought he had his hud hidden for a second then realized it was just tiny lmao george went splat |you can tell how long ago this was he still had the crown damn that chimken has a lot of health wait if dream dies but the chicken is fine can he still get back to it. can he just hide it somewhere. actually yeah not having to fight dream is a huge advantage in this situation lmao AND chicken cant wear armor so that's concerning chicken fling inb4 he crits it on instinct while grabbing food dude put him in a hole while ur doing stuff does the chicken regen or does it need seeds like in the pet videos? the fast graphic leaves are annoying me "yeah just like you were bugged ea-" excuse me when they know each others' tells <3 can the chicken breathe underwater. does chimken have gills. ok but the fact that he called it chimken kills me that's a very gen z thing to do the chicken loves his dad (george) boat strats lol ok but without the hand there it genuinely looks like he's f1'd. i no longer feel dumb for thinking he was oh dream's deader than the chicken "it's like the opposite of jaws" 1 hp chicken!! wtf are those noises george lmao "Please he's just a little chicken" 😭 sidenote why tf are emojis rendered like that on notepad just add proper emoji support already jeez music switch hi "im so glad sapnap isnt in this recording im glad we had a falling out" silly silly …lets be real there's probably someone in the comments who'll believe him wholeheartedly damn eating chimken's brother in front of him and chimken got revenge by egging him lmao HE'S JUST A CHIMKEN!!! oh god the fire strats HE GOT BOXED BY A FISH damn that's an old reference ICE BOATS this is chaos lmao wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee throws the chicken at him lol just realized i've been spelling it wrong this whole time it's chimkin not chimken rip i love how we all thought this'd be dnf chicken dads cuteness but nope george just wants this chicken dead he hid the chicken in the house lets go nvm george found him immediately DONT BRING THE CHICEKN IDIOT ok welp that should buy him some time lmao he almost burned the chicken rip fox diamonds having slowfall in the nether is actually gonna be very helpful, he can escape from george pretty easily given all the ledges omg old-timey christmas music this is the only time christmas music in october is acceptable. "i can… fight you i guess 🙄" o i see him does he srsly- HE DIDNT SEE DREAM 0.5 jesus oh wait if it goes down by .5s the chicken actually has 20 hearts/40 hp, damn he is not making that- oh pearl nvm "okay lets get out of here" so casual lmao HOW i've missed "hello dream" <3 chicken's stuck lmao chicken almost just suicided CLUTCH but also why'd he wait so long to leap after it chicken wants a hot tub bath hi george how many blaze rods did he get? i don't think he can leave the foretress yet, can he? if he doesnt have enough yet he kinda just needs to kill george righ- oh there he goes chicken's an escape arCHICKEN'S SUICIDAL JESUS "i clutched that was epic" "i dont care 😒" he yays in lowercase daww sir you are on fire i love him when he's calm and silly mode um acksuallyyyy gliding from holding a chicken is canon in the 2022 april fools update (that's the one block at a time one right) heck i moused over the video on accident and saw how close i am to the finish. rip chimken you arent living long lolwut actually it's probably a rounding error, health is stored in smaller percentages than we realize damn chimken was actually a dragon what a plot twist "that was… anticlimactic dies"

And then i watched the extra scenes and laughed at chicken dragon and awwed at dnf going to get haircuts immediately after but i can't add those parts bc tumblr hates me 😒

[menaceofabean]

OKAY SO, an AU but it's a Monster/Hybrid Farm AU, cause why not?

Imma share my thoughts and ideas here so click read more since it gon be long and there are going to be a few suggestive things in there, so minors, do me a favor, do not interact. This is PART 1 of it.

SO! You bought this farm from a family, who could not keep it any longer since none of them wanted to take it over after their parent passed away. You took it over without knowing that it was technically a farm filled with monsters/hybrids. Imagine your surprise when one of the family members showed you around and introduced you to them one by one. Some were friendly while the others were a bit unsure of you.

Thatch - Grizzly Bear

- Listen, I thought about this for too damn long alright. (pls I just wanna call him papa bear cause I'm cheesy like that, alright?) Thatch looks like a normal human being except he's a bit hairier and towers over you than an average male height.

- The family member told you that he was a skin-changer and goes briefly into detail that he transforms into a large ass grizzly bear that could be sometimes seen wandering around. (think beorn from the hobbit)

-Ironically, he's the beekeeper on the farm. Though mind you the bees aren't that tiny, they're about 1 or 2 inches big. ANYWAY! He's in charge of the honey even selling them and occasionally the kitchen.

- Lemme tell you, this man flirted with you as soon as you stepped into his side of the farm. Hell, he even pressed a kiss on the back of your hand. He had not once let go of your hand while the family member talked.

- ooof, his voice, he has a bit of a rumble when he speaks and has that soothing southern accent. He's already giving you nicknames. He pouted when you and the family member had to move on to the others around the farm.

-"I reckon I'll be seein' you 'round more, sugar cube." *wink*

Marco - Phoenix

- Pfftt, obviously, WHAT ELSE?! Though no, yeah, I thought about changing him to another type of bird, but then decided nah, we're going with our basics lol. (though I did have a thought of him being a rooster *snickers* Oh, what a sight that'll be. Him just cawing at the top of his lungs on the roof)

- Again, like Thatch, he looks normal until you see some turquoise feathers peeping out from underneath the half unbuttoned shirt he wore. The family member again briefly explains that he was kinda like Thatch and that he was the head medic on the farm.

- Sleepy blues and a breathtaking smile, woof

- He's giving you the "bedroom eyes" as once again the family member rattles on.

-His hand is so soft and smooth, wtf?? hand over the routine, sir.

- Like Thatch, he has not let go of your hand, seriously, these whores ajdfhkjadf

- He's so damn smooth even when he talks, it almost sounds like a siren luring you into a warm embrace and promising comfort. Ooohh, he's definitely going to be the death of you.

- "Welcome to the farm, I hope to get to know more about you." smooth motherfucker

Sabo - Dragon

- Once again, another basic. Thought of others but decided well, Sabo can be feral from time to time and occasionally get angry if poked a certain way.

- Sabo was way obvious. The deep blue scales lining his face, arms, his pointy ears, and horns were, of course, the giveaway.

-He was a bit miffed with you since he doesn't trust new people and thought the worst about you but hid it underneath that "nice" exterior yet the bite he had underneath his words kind of peeved you.

- The family member apologizes for his behavior and quickly explains the reasoning which sort of made you relax. Sort of.

-I haven't really thought much about what role he would partake in, I figure he would do something along the lines of patrolling the farm to keep any unwanted "visitors" out and predators. Idk yet.

- He needs a little more time on coming around to trust you. Gotta prove it to him, though he'll work with you to get a job done. dayyumm sexual tension automatically.

- He has an English accent though you can't seem to decipher which part of England he's from since he hides it very well. He never says why.

- "I look forward to working with you."

Anyway, that's about it for now, I would love to hear from y'all about some input or ideas! I love reading them 😊

[your-average-pyro]

Op are you a heart defender??

50 Reasons Why You Should Love Jonah Clemence

Because Jonah is loveable 😤

His name is very beautiful. It’s a common name but with a different pronunciation that just makes it suddenly 10000x more sophisticated.

He’s the Queen of Hearts. That’s a big sexy title.

He’s got gorgeous eyes that will pull you towards him like a magnet.

He’s got a sexy ass smirk, like COME ON, YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU WEREN’T WEAKENED BY THAT SMIRK AT ONE POINT

He’s got beautiful hair that managed to confuse the whole fandom as to what fucking color it is JDJSHHDJDJJD

Boi will spend all his money just for you (at least, you think he spent all his money until you stumbled upon his secret vault somewhere in Cradle because THAT MAN HAS TOO MUCH MONEY)

He loves sweets. Like, really really love sweets

Follow up on 7, get you a man who can satisfy your stomach and satisfy his own along with you because eating together is one of the best ways to spend time together 😌

Boi is strong enough to protect you, have you seen his third route CG?

HE BLUSHYYYYYYYYY AND POUTYYYYYYYY DON’T YOU WANNA SEE THE MAN BLUSHY AND POUTY

You can make Jonah wear only a trash bag, and he will still look like the most beautiful human in existence

He’ll scold his colleagues for their eating/drinking habits. He cares about their health, man

Loves his brother so so much, get you a man who would support his family

Jonah is voiced by the lovely lovely Natsuki Hanae, facking music to the ears 😩👌

This man can sing, like he can sing for you if you want a lullaby 😭

Follow up on 15, BOI JUST HUMS AND SKIPS WHEN HE’S HAPPY LIKE THAT IS SO PURE

This boi took his brother out of the house as kids to see the stars at midnight just to see his brother happy

Follow up on 17, THIS BOI WOULD TAKE YOU OUT ON A MIDNIGHT WALK JUST FOR YOU TO SEE THE STARS AND MAKE YOU SMILE

Jonah’s fated to get drenched one way or another every time he visits the Lake of Tears HAHAHAHAHA

THIS MAN HAS SO MUCH DUALITY I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START

Boi would be all cute and blushy one second, and the next, he’s got you weak on the knees with his sultry voice and sexy sexy smirk

You think he’s an angel? Well okay, he can be, but beware when you get in bed with him, because he’s going to reveal his inner devil in the sheets 🤡

He has a hamster for a pet just because he thinks hamsters are cute. How precious is that?

BOI GIVES HUGGIES like among the guys in the game, Jonah’s the one who’s given the most heartwarming hugs to his Alice 🥺🥺🥺 ... that or the tunnel vision is intense DHDHHSHDHJD

THIS BOI MANAGED TO GLARE ONE (1) TIME AND MADE AMON JABBERWOCK SHIT HIS PANTS WHAT A QUEEN

Just. This line. “I didn’t know it was crime to be beautiful amongst you Black Army louts.”

HE CARES ABOUT THE HAPPINESS OF THE PEOPLE HE’S CLOSE TOlike in Edgar’s route, he’s all like, “is it strange that I genuinely want Edgar to be happy?” LIKE PRECIOUS BOIIII

Would eat proscuitto as he watches Kyle suffer at the hands of Edgar Bright

Jonah may call himself beautiful, but he lowkey hates it because it reminds him that he was bullied because the bullies found him cute please hold this man

He’s a tsundere but his tsun is so so cute like you just wanna poke him every time he’s tsun

Speaking of tsun, it’s funny and cute, but he’s insecure about being seen as weak or vulnerable and his tsun-ness is sort of a consequence of that so please hold him some more

HIS TYPE OF WOMAN IS SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT LOVE HIM FOR HIS LOOKS BUT SOMEONE WHO LOVES HIM FOR WHO HE IS BECAUSE HE IS TIRED OF PEOPLE CALLING HIM BEAUTIFUL

Man is PRUDENT AND NOBLE AF like mm yes, drink that righteousness juice 😌👌

You try to make his Alice a hostage for him to not attack you? HAHA JOKES ON YOU, JONAH’S WAY TOO FAST FOR YOU TO KEEP ALICE IN YOUR CLUTCHES FOR LONG

He can AND will save you, he’s got dumb willpower that gets him through frankly anything

He smells good. What kind of scent, idk. But he smells good.

He’ll buy your cologne. Chances are your cologne is the same as his or the female version of it.

This man WILL say “I love you” unlike some guys............ I mean come on, actions speak louder than words, but hearing your man say “I love you” wouldn’t hurt, right?

BOI CAN PLAY A SHIT TON OF INSTRUMENTS BECAUSE HE WAS TAUGHT AS A KID AND I AM STILL NOT OVER THIS FACT TO THIS DAY

He can’t do laundry, he’ll just spin his jacket just to remove the water out of it. Boi even dreamt once that he tried and failed to fold a towel LMAO

He’s a perfectionist *chef’s kiss* and will put in all his effort to anything

This man CANNOT lie to save his ass, like stan that honesty

GET 👏 YOURSELF 👏 A 👏 LOYAL 👏 MAN 👏 LIKE 👏 JONAH 👏 IF THIS MAN CAN STICK TO LANCELOT’S SIDE FOR 17 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING, HE WOULD DEFINITELY STICK TO YOUR SIDE FOR LIFE

This. Line. “Even if the entire world becomes my enemy, I won’t allow you to get hurt. I will keep you safe, no matter what.”

HE WOULD WAIT IN THE RAIN, ALL DRENCHED AND SOAK, JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE NOT KIDNAPPED OR ANYTHING

Jonah grew stronger from the boy who was bullied easily because he thought of the people who cared for him. 🥺🥺🥺

This man would boop your nose. You can boop his nose back.

This man would tire his poor horse travelling across the country just to make sure you’re not sick

Jonah would do anything to see your smile. In fact, this boi already made it his top priority to see your smile at the beginning of his damn route and put his mission of seducing Alice as second.

His smirk may be hot and his pout may be the cutest thing on earth, but it’s his smile that makes the whole world even brighter than the sun could ever hope to do. Just... God, the amount of times Jonah’s smile in his romantic made me feel so much happier during hard times.

BONUS: Jonah sometimes forgets that he’s human. Please help him.

,,,, it feels like there are still many more reasons to love Jonah Clemence,,,

[goldentsum]

━ thirst post with idol! reader - spin-off

REQUEST: abt the idol reader thirst, imagine one day you read the thirst on vlive and react to it, and you're just "oh? OH" HAHAHHAA

🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕

CHARACTERS: kuroo tetsurou, matsukawa issei, miya atsumu, and sakusa kiyoomi

GENRE: suggestive themes, comedy, fluff?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i can’t with this scenes lmao! i had too much fun with this pft! 

setters ver. | captains ver. | middleblockers ver. | wingspikers ver.  | libero ver. | spin-off 2

you were in vlive, watching the thousands of comments flash on the side of the screen. you ate some pineapple in your fruit salad as you tried to read some of the comments in your vlive, chuckling as you do so. there were a lot of funny and heartwarming comments.

[tetsulovesy.n]: (y/n)!! you’re so pretty! D: please step on me, queen :D

[isseiissei]: you always inspire me to start drawing, (y/n)! you’re just so beautiful, every moment with you is so picturesque 

[tsumwannahit]: you’re so hot (y/n), it’s not fair 

[omisparadise]: (y/n), you’re always so clean and lovely 

you giggled at the last comment, you don’t really know what that means but hey, it sounds like a compliment! (fanbase’s name) are always so funny and seeing their comments makes your day

“isseiissei, is that how you pronounce it? aw, that’s so sweet of you! your words make me soft, love” you cooed sweetly, the soft light on your hotel room making you look angelic. meanwhile, the male who you replied to was screaming and panicking at the other side of the world.

“i want to browse through twitter because i love seeing the content you guys make,” you said, getting your phone at the table beside you and showing your clothes to the camera. a black spaghetti singlet with short shorts that stops on your mid-thigh. when you sat back down, you saw the comment section going wild.

you chuckled, confused, while you try to read some replies and leaned closer to the phone that’s recording your vlive. as you leaned in, your collarbones and neck were more prominent in that angle. your pretty face was closer than ever, your soft confused smile still intact. 

[tsumwannahit]: AASDFJKJHGFDS--

[isseiissei]: wanna draw something right now :D

[tetsulovesy.n]: this would look great in a phone call edit 

[omisparadise]: :)))

you saw the four usernames again and shook your head when you finally knew what was going on. you narrowed your eyes playfully at the camera and started scolding them. 

“you guys are dirty, ya know. that’s naughtyyy~” you teased, wagging your finger with a small smirk

you saw the comment section going crazy again and giggled. you opened your secret twitter account on your phone and searched your name in the search bar. your eyes widened at what you saw, blushing a bit. you looked at the camera then to your phone again.

“you guys are really... creative”

━ kuroo ♡

kuroo really saw his life flashed before his eyes when you said his username in your vlive he was watching. he just froze and looked at you in horror when you scrolled through his page, chuckling in bewilderment. 

you: these are--... um.. very creative 

fuck! omg omg! this is by far the worse thing that happened to kuroo wtf! the embarrassment is too much to handle! he just wanna dig a hole and die! 

at least you don’t know who he was. 

 you: [yn.makesme_hARD] said: “you guys like my edits a little too much but i can’t blame you, while making them I get hard myself… pLEASE LET ME HIT (Y/N)!!” um, you’re very creative sir-- you’re kinda cute too

did you hear that? it’s kuroo screaming at the top of his lungs. how can he forget that he did a (fanbase name) selca day on that account-!!

━ matsukawa ♡

issei was just watching your vlive, smiling softly at your cute actions as you try to interact with them, laying on his bed. when you replied to his comment, he really did scream. his heart was beating so loudly and a red blush almost covered his face. 

when you said you were going to twitter to see the content, his mind went straight to his 18+ fanarts from his other art account. but he was rest-assured cus he remembered that he blocked you on that account like any 18+ creator. 

you: [y/ns_daddydom] huh... that’s a nice username...

issei stopped smiling and sat up so fast that he was seeing black spots. he grasped his phone in alarm, gasping when you just described his latest fanart of you wearing a skimpy pink lingerie. 

you: they draw really good though. i approve, um, mattsun-ssi~

mattsun watched the vlive in panic when you said his name, he signed all his fanart with his nickname and now you know him... he closed his phone and laid in bed, staring at his ceiling with a blank face. 

mattsun: pls let me die now

━ atsumu ♡

tsumu was a cocky little shit who hides in his identity in a fan account so he usually just says what he thinks with no hesitation. when he watches your vlive, he likes commenting a lot. like a lot. 

when you said you were going to twitter, he wasn’t really alarmed or scared because his fan account was not a big one and he just usually thirst tweets in that account. 

you: you guys-- when you thirst tweet, ya’ll don’t tone it down huh. you guys go all out. 

okay, he was a bit alarmed at that. but you won’t see his tweets, right? 

you: this one has a lot of likes and retweets. [iwanna.raw.yn] said “(y/n) REALLY SAID DADDY LIKE IT WAS NOTHING?… brb gonna fix something and if you see my right arm getting beefy, lol we been knew. sigh i want to raw (y/n) so hard tf” okay then... daddy~ 

tsumu watched you giggle after saying that. he just short-circuited, a frozen and faltering smirk on his face as his eyes started wavering. he threw his phone in his bed, cupping his hands together and then hid his face, screeching. 

osamu: tsumu! shut the fuck up! 

atsumu: you shut up! i’m having a crisis here! 

━ sakusa ♡

when watching your vlives, omi likes to imagine that it was just the two of you, video calling each other. his (fanbase name) heart is screaming. 

sakusa watched you spill the tea and expose your fans about their thirst tweets and content and he was lowkey panicking. he grabbed his phone as he watched you on his laptop. he opened his account and went to delete any thirst tweet he made but it was too late. 

you: you guys have really cREATIVE names! like this one, [mother.ynismykink]. (fanbase name) are funny 

he felt a chill run down his spine when he heard his username, his eye twitching a bit. sakusa continued to watch you and listen to you say his most famous thirst tweet. 

you: i don’t like being dirty, though~ 

sakusa grabbed his chest, feeling his rapid heart as he gaped at you. you teasingly pout at the camera, making goo-goo eyes. you almost looked like that emoji, 🥺, but with a pout and looking much cuter. 

omiomi: i.. i don’t know if i’m lucky or not..

[heroesandlovers]

Nancy Drew 1x12 "The Lady of Larkspur Lane"

A bit of a shorter review here. The highlight were the Ace x Carson scenes. Most of the plot development was leading up to next episode the iconic "Whisper Box"

THANK GOD ACE IS BACK.

Nancy is planning to go to Josh (Lucy’s half brother) to see if she can find some information about Lucy’s Mom. She learns that Lucy’s Mom is in an institution.

Bess is freaking out about her meeting with the “mentor” her aunt is setting her up with. She goes to her platanchor Ace for support who does disappoint “You are far above mediocre”.

Nick comes to George for some menu ideas.

George: “I thought you weren’t gonna get involved in the Claw?”

Nick: “I'm not, running the restaurant is your thing”.

Huh..I’m confused. From last episode I thought this was supposed to be a project for Nick that was his own?

They tell Nancy that Nick bought the Claw. It’s an awkward scene. George and Nick almost seem guilty? Nancy is like WTF is going on with you guys?!

Nancy asks them to help her break into the facility where Lucy’s Mom is. (Where are Bess and more importantly Ace?). They get in, through a room that looks more creepy and abandoned than it should. They split up but there’s no cell service so…that seems risky.

Bess meets with Amaya and it…goes awkwardly. Amaya treats her like eye candy and doesn’t really find her interesting until she gets caught up in the Ryan Hudson business. Bess uses her leverage as a Marvin and her new negotiation skills to get Ryan to get evidence that Carson’s life was in danger.

Carson gets threatened in prison and he knows that there is now a hit out on him. He tries calling Nancy but is only able to reach Ace. Ace tries to call Nancy but…no cell service. He has a plan though that’s gonna work great…unless it doesn’t. Ace goes to Ryan for help with Carson. Ryan tells him that the hit can’t be called off and that the only way to save Carson is to get Carson out of jail to save his life so…what does Ace do?

Ace breaking Carson out of jail and the subsequent shenanigans are comedic gold.

Nancy meets an orderly who tells her that the institution is being haunted, which seems to explain the weird room (East Wing) the DrewCrew came through. Nancy learns these hauntings started the night of the séance. Nancy is able to find Lucy’s Mom. The interaction is odd. Lucy’s Mom talks about Lucy staying out all night and looking for trouble. She also refers to Nancy being “just like that other lady who gave me the key to Lucy’s secret. But no one will ever find it because I hid it. In the thin man’s book”. The orderly helps them figure out who the thin man is which requires Nancy going in a cursed room where people tend to end up dead? Doesn’t stop Nancy.

While she’s in the death room, George and Nick find out the orderly they’ve been talking to is actually a patient. But…there’s a fire drill so they are forced to evacuate.

Episode ends with Nancy waking up in bed and…her Mom is alive?

Nick and George

“So, what can we do for seven minutes?” Subtle not subtle.

Nancy and Ace

“For Nancy’s sake and for yours, I can’t let that happen”. Ace hacked the federal prison database. He has already gotten in trouble for that and was only bailed out because McGinnis helped him. I truly think Ace would not have risked doing that again for anything less than helping Nancy save her father.

- Ace is true hero I ljust ove him

Random observations/Favorite lines

-”Excuse me sir, do you have a reservation?” “I have many, but I am here anyways”- THE LINE DELIVERY!!!

-Did Amaya call Ace a “tall jar of mayonnaise”?

-AcexCarson interactions are A plus

-”Can’t stand the chatty ones, man”

-“Your axe is huge, dude”

-”I went to archery camp I got great aim”

- I am 0% surprised that Nick is the one who recognizes the Bible verse.

[suganovakawa]

i hope requests are still open, if not, you can just ignore this since u may be busy. i LOVE your s'mores headcanons with the karasuno boys, it's ! so ! cute ! may i request protective! captain as dads ( you could pick anyone you're comfortable with writing! ) and their only daughter started liking a boy ( bonus if it's the son of their old/current teamates if they played professional. ) thank you again if u ever decided to do this 💙

i’m slowly going to be going through requests again but THIS IS SO CUTE IM DYING PLS

this request is so old i know , i’m sorry for the wait anonnie pls forgive me fjjsnfmd

a loving father.

— kuroo, daichi, ushijima, oikawa, and bokuto’s only daughter ( separately ) falls for a boy.

gen masterlist.

taglist ( open ) ༉‧ @yams046 @janellion @avylee

— a/n : new layout! figured i’d try it, i always thought my previous layout was too tedious and spaced out, this new one is something more simple. enjoy!

— also, this is fem!reader!

tetsurou kuroo.

✧｡ the first time he hears of his babygirl catching the feels™ for someone, immediately he goes into protective dad mode

✧｡ in the past he had always joked about him being the only man his daughter needed in her life, and daddy’s little girl would always comply because kuroo def is one of the best dads around, don’t @ me

✧｡ but boy oh boy he’s ready to wage war once he hears about this boy, and he doesn’t even know who the guy is

✧｡ he wasn’t supposed to hear about his daughter’s crush, you and your daughter were having some girl talk, and you actually had to pry it out of her system or else she would’ve just kept it secret

✧｡ he was 100% eavesdropping on the two of you, he always feels so left out when it’s girl talk time— he’s tried convincing the both of you to let him in on the girl time, but all of his attempts have failed

✧｡ both you and your daughter hear a “WHAT?!?” from outside your bedroom door, and the two of you run out to see kuroo literally pressed against the door with a scowl on his face

✧｡ oh boy, your daughter’s really gonna get it now

✧｡ “tetsurou! you know better than to eavesdrop on us like that! you know that girl time is for us only! no boys allowed!” ofc, if y’all want a son...

✧｡ JDJDJFJFJ HE’S IN HYSTERICS

✧｡ we love a good drama queen, he’s sprawled on the floor, pretending to sob in his hands as your daughter is trying ( and failing ) to hide her embarrassment that her dad happened to listen in on what she wanted to keep secret

✧｡ “noooo our babygirl is growing up too quickly! what happened to me being the only man in her life, huh? she’s leaving the nest too quickly, stay with meeeee! be my little princess forever!”

✧｡ proceeds to become the embodiment of 🥺

✧｡ “dad, it’s just a crush...”

✧｡ “i had a crush on your mother back in the day, look at how we are now!”

✧｡ “tetsurou...”

✧｡ kuroo looks to you and takes you by your shoulders, his lip quivering as he points to your guys’ child “how are you so calm about this? this is our daughter we’re talking about here! take me a little more seriously, y/n!”

✧｡ you’re cracking up at the sight of kuroo, wiping tears from your eyes as you cross your arms, an evil glint shining in those eyes of yours

✧｡ “you’ll never guess who she does have a crush on, sweetheart.”

✧｡ “what?”

✧｡ your daughter is trying oh so hard to give you a signal of no no no no no no no no no mom please spare me but you’re just ignoring it, “go on, sweetie. tell your father who this special boy of yours is.”

✧｡ “... lev’s son...”

✧｡ RIP tetsurou kuroo, gone too soon.

daichi sawamura.

✧｡ now, daichi takes the news far better than how kuroo does, but you can tell he’s just a wee bit protective

✧｡ you can see it in the way he scrunches his nose every time your daughter brings up this boy— it’s subtle, but definitely noticeable

✧｡ he finds about his daughter’s crush while he picks her up from school, he spots her chatting up a storm with a classmate of hers

✧｡ “is that a friend of yours, sweetheart?” she’s in high spirits as daichi takes her home, which he’s happy with. he wants nothing more than to see his little bundle of joy happy as can be

✧｡ “silly daddy! that’s my boyfriend! he asked me out today while we were both at the swings, and i said yes!”

✧｡ JDJSJJF HE ALMOST SWERVED THE CAR BUT CAUGHT HIMSELF JUST IN TIME, KEEP DRIVING MR. SAWAMURA YOURE ALMOST HOME

✧｡ “b-boyfriend, you say?”

✧｡ “mhm! i’ve had a crush on him for a while, and he likes me back! so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, i said yes and we hugged!”

✧｡ by the looks of his face when he and your child came home, you knew exactly what had happened between your husband and your daughter on the way back— you were suppressing your laughter as much as possible, but a snicker escaped your lips as you greeted your daughter and let her inside

✧｡ “you knew about this, didn’t you, y/n?” daichi mumbled as he greeted you with a kiss on the forehead, clearly bothered by the news

✧｡ “she’d always fill me in on her adventures with her crush, telling me how she knows deep within her heart that they belong together.” you had turned to your daughter, who finished putting her bag down and you picked her up in her arms, “did he ask you out today, sweetie? were your predictions correct?”

✧｡ “yes! we’re dating now!” just hearing those words made daichi’s heart clench, but he had to just smile through the pain

✧｡ “that’s... lovely, sweetheart...” had he bothered to say anything more, he was going to pass out

✧｡ “wait, daddy doesn’t know who your boyfriend is, huh?” you smirked, causing daichi’s face to pale, “why don’t you tell him who your special someone is, dear?”

✧｡ your daughter grinned, “you know his dad, daddy! mr. nishinoya!”

✧｡ daichi proceeded to stare a wall blankly for the next half hour, repeating the words “oh my god, noya has a son” like a mantra.

✧｡ “mommy, what’s wrong with daddy?”

✧｡ “just give him some time, he’ll process it soon.”

wakatoshi ushijima.

✧｡ the first time he heard of his daughter having a crush on someone, it went completely over his head and thought nothing of it

✧｡ “daddy! i have a crush on that boy over there!”

✧｡ “oh. that’s nice, dear.”

✧｡ you were initially surprised when you heard his reaction, you weren’t expecting ushi to be so nonchalant— he was very overprotective of your only child, even if he didn’t show it

✧｡ turns out, he doesn’t know what a crush IS

✧｡ he thought it was just some childhood slang for classmate, and proceeded to carry on with his day— his daughter didn’t explain to him what having a crush meant, either

✧｡ oh sweet mother of jesus, you’ve married a complete dunce

✧｡ “toshi... you’re okay with her having a crush on a boy, right? you don’t mind?” you had to know for yourself, you asked ushijima about it when he came home from adlers practice; you let him wash up and both of you had put your child down for the night, you were busy making a late night meal for him since you know he can get hungry after working so hard

✧｡ “why wouldn’t i be okay with it? doesn’t she have many crushes?”

✧｡ you pressed your fingers against your temples and sighed loudly, shaking your head in disbelief. “do you even know what crushes are?”

✧｡ “classmates...?” seeing the shock on your face, he raised an eyebrow slightly, confused with your exasperation. “is it not youth slang for classmates?”

✧｡ “toshi— no. just, no.” you sat down in a chair next to him, and proceeded to explain that crushes are not slang for classmates, and to explain what your daughter was going through

✧｡ uh, i think you broke him

✧｡ after a whole five minutes of silence, all you got in return was “... oh. that’s what crushes are.”

✧｡ his face was completely blank, you weren’t sure if it was him realizing that he did not like that, or if he still was completely confused to his daughter having feelings for a boy

✧｡ “... well, i don’t see the harm in it.” you turned in surprise— his face was still stoic and unreadable, but he had shrugged slightly as it was your turn to raise an eyebrow, “a harmless crush on a boy isn’t too bad. and besides,” you could see a ghost of a smirk appear on his lips, “i had a crush on you, and we turned out like this.”

✧｡ sir that is illegal wtf go back to being a dunce

✧｡ you scoffed and hid your blush in your hands, rolling your eyes a bit, “do you even know who the boy is, toshi?”

✧｡ “am i supposed to know?”

✧｡ “ask your friend hoshiumi tomorrow at pracrice, i think he’ll be able to fill you in on it.”

✧｡ wakatoshi had many, many questions for his daughter the next evening when he came back from practice, oh boy.

tooru oikawa.

✧｡ honestly, i think tooru would take the news the best out of everyone here JFJSJJD probably because he’s so experienced in having people fawn and gawk over him, oops

✧｡ but obviously he’s still gonna be a little diva about it; after all, it’s HIS perfect princess we’re talking about here

✧｡ he came back home at the sight of your daughter daydreaming to you about her day at school, anyone with common sense could see how whipped and smitten over whoever this person was

✧｡ “we held hands during recess today! i almost didn’t want to wash my hands when we went inside today— hi daddy!”

✧｡ oikawa scooped her up in her arms and chuckled, ruffling her hair slightly, “hey there sweetheart, who did you hold hands with today?”

✧｡ the little girl blushed, lowering her voice shyly as she twiddled her thumbs, “it’s this boy in my class who i really like...”

✧｡ you couldn’t help but laugh at tooru’s initial reaction; his eyebrows flew upwards as his jaw parted slightly, processing the fact that his babygirl had developed a crush™ on a classmate

✧｡ tooru wasn’t too bothered by it, he was just in shock— immediately after he simply kissed her hair and smiled brightly at your daughter, “that’s real sweet, princess. anyone would be lucky to have someone as adorable as you liking them.”

✧｡ “you’re just saying that because i’m your daughter, daddy.”

✧｡ “no! i am just saying the truth!”

✧｡ he huffed, “besides, you better not get married so soon! you’re still MY baby, he can’t take you from me just yet! i’m still number one in your heart, right?”

✧｡ “tooru...”

✧｡ “y/n, how can you be so content with her having a crush already? she’ll be gone from us so soon from the power of love! not yet not yet, i’m not ready to say goodbye!”

✧｡ embodiment of 🥺, part two

✧｡ “of course you’re still number one daddy, i just like him a little bit, that’s all!” your daughter pouted a bit, causing the brunet to chuckle and kiss her forehead next

✧｡ “i’m joking, princess. having a crush is so adorable, i remember when your mom still had a crush on me.”

✧｡ “you had a crush on me first, tooru.”

✧｡ “BESIDES THE POINT, who’s the lucky guy?”

✧｡ you laughed at his question, your lips quivering as your suppressed your laugh but not fully, a hand covering your mouth but the laughter evidently there, tooru looked at you weirdly

✧｡ “what’s so funny?”

✧｡ you turned to your daughter, “tell him, sweetie.”

✧｡ a bright grin, followed by, “kyoutani!”

✧｡ holy mother of goodness oikawa almost dropped her from the name, a loud gasp filling the room as his face turned completely white

✧｡ “y/n, please tell me i heard her wrong. PLEASE TELL ME I DIDN’T JUST HEAR THAT.”

✧｡ “our daughter crushing on mad dog’s son? no, you heard that perfectly clear, darling.”

koutarou bokuto.

✧｡ bokuto will take it personally and will see to it that he will win this one-sided war for your daughter’s affection

✧｡ same way kuroo found out, he was def eavesdropping on you and your daughter’s girl time; there was no escaping him the moment he opened the door

✧｡ “b-but what do you mean you like a boy at your school?” emo mode is a go

✧｡ “i just like him, daddy! it’s not like i’m gonna marry him!” she paused, “... yet.”

✧｡ “Y/NNNNNNN OUR BABY IS GROWING UP SO QUICKLY DO SOMETHING!”

✧｡ “kou, it’s just a crush...”

✧｡ “do you not remember how it was when i had a crush on you?”

✧｡ you sighed, running a hand through his hair to calm him down— which worked, a little bit— “you, koutarou, are a special breed.” you kissed his forehead, sighing at how his hair depleted

✧｡ “you are still my princess! my babygirl! i should talk to this fellow, because i will not be second best to my daughter’s heart.” he huffed, puffing out his chest with pride

✧｡ she, on the other hand, is completely embarrassed by this, “daddy, no...”

✧｡ “what? why not?”

✧｡ “actually, you should let him do just that, sweetheart.” you crossed your arms and smiled, much to your daughter’s dismay. “i think akaashi will find entertainment in seeing this for himself.”

✧｡ “akaashi? what does he have to do with this?”

✧｡ too late, you’re already calling the other fukurodani alumni, chuckling as both bokuto and your daughter are giving you the same exact confused look— like father, like daughter

✧｡ “akaashi will be here in about 10 minutes. i told him to bring his child, here, too.”

✧｡ “baby, what are you talking about—”

✧｡ meanwhile, your daughter was in a frenzy, running around the house as she screamed about getting ready and looking nice for the guests— bokuto was still plopped one the floor, looking up at you like a lost puppy

✧｡ akaashi walks through the door with a grin on his lips, holding his son’s hand as you greeted both of them at the door, “akaashi! wonderful to have you here! your son is looking so handsome.”

✧｡ “akaashi? why are you here?” kou blinks in confusion, scratching the side of his head before he notices how his own daughter is reacting— she looks like she’s about to explode, hiding behind his leg with a whole face of blush

✧｡ “y/n said you wanted to talk to my son about something, so i figured why not? i’ve got a day off.” akaashi chuckled and waved to your daughter, who shyly waved back but hid again before the other guest in the house could get a good look at her

✧｡ “WAIT. YOUR SON IS—”

✧｡ you left the room, you were laughing so loudly— akaashi found this quite humorous as well; bokuto looked down at his daughter, clinging onto his leg and smiling softly to herself. she had gotten the courage to wave at akaashi’s son, who smiled brightly at her and blushed as well

✧｡ “... oh my god.” he felt like an idiot, yes— but akaashi’s kid being the lucky guy? “ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE!”

✧｡ “koutarou, NO.”

✧｡ “bokuto-san, no.”

✧｡ “DADDY, NOOOOOO!”

[aquatik]

Hello vale <3 May I request a Kuroo scenario where he jokes about wanting to spend time with his s/o so they have a “girls” day together with a at home spa and etc 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 and I would find it cute if you also wrote the scenario for one of your comfort characters too but you don’t have too! Well 🥺 thank you sm vale. Love ya -🛸

“girls” night spa hcs with kuroo, sugawara, and yaku

pairings - tetsuro kuroo x reader, koushi sugawara x reader, morisuke yaku x reader

word count - 1600

genere - fluff

fem!reader

warnings - none <3

under the cut since these got long

Tetsuro Kuroo

so you guys are hanging out, after volleyball. you were watching those old youtube videos of like vlog-style/ expectation vs. reality type of thing

the good ole’ days

anyways

kuroo was scrolling on instagram to see one of your friends had posted a throwback to one of your sleepovers on her private. you guys had on face masks and a hair mask on the picture

“baaabe?”

“yes suro?”

“when was this?”

“ooh, i remember! that was months ago. haven’t had one in a while.”

“let’s do it.”

“wait what-”

in all honesty, you couldn’t say no. what was the worst that could happen? it could actually be fun

you guys go to the store and purchase everything you need. surprisingly, kuroo actually knew what to get

well, could you be surprised? man knows everything about chemistry, it’s no surprise he knows his way around what’s good for your skin

“suro how do you-”

“don’t question it.”

you took initiative on the hair care products since that’s self-explanatory-

as you were about to pay he smacks your hand and pays for himself

like, sir ???

anyways

you guys head back and start the spa night

you both took turns in applying everything on each other, you make sure to scrub that hair mask well into his hair to at least make sure he’s a healthy rooster head

“did you just purr?”

“wouldn’t you like to know.”

you guys post a lot on instagram and snapchat.

the team group chat going off:

kenma just said kuroo looks stupid with his hair flat. lev was accusing kuroo of cutting his head off since he looked shorter, yaku was yelling at lev. kai was just telling you guys to have fun, and yamamoto was sobbing, saying how kuroo doesn’t know how lucky he is.

for sure at one point you guys went to scare kenma.

like kuroo has a key so you guys snuck into kenma’s house

you were just sitting on the couch, recording

kuroo turned his wifi off so kenma got up to go fix it

“was the cord too heavy..?”

“surprise pudding head”

“what the fuck-“

and kenma grabs a pillow and full-on throws kuroo to the ground.

like

sir-

where that strength coming from?

“KENMA MY FACE MASK-“

“WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE? I JUST GOT DISCONNECTED FROM AN AMONG US GAME! YOU ASS!”

“MY FACE!”

now you have a great video

overall you both really enjoyed the little spa night, promising to do them more often.

on the plus side, kuroo had really soft rooster hair. you had succeeded.

Koushi Sugawara

okay so you being the supportive girlfriend that you are, you attended their volleyball practice. you just so happened to have finished a really difficult assignment a while ago but you were still exhausted

coach ukai gave them a break before they started individual practice. being the loving boyfriend sugawara is, he immediately ran over to you

he was too busy practicing earlier to see you stressing over the now completed assignment. even though that assignment was taking up your time, you managed to multi-task and do both the assignment and watch them

“hi my love, did you see the- woah hey, what’s wrong?”

“huh? oh, nothing. i was just working on the assignment that i mentioned to you earlier. but yeah, i saw the play you guys are doing great. you're going to practice the synchronized attack later right?”

“well- i mean yeah but you should have been paying attention to your work.”

“nah it’s fine, i got it done anyways.”

“spa night.”

“what”

“you heard me. spa night. your sleeping over tonight and staying the weekend so it’s fine. i will not tolerate this stress in you, plus it will be fun!’

“you know, you could use one too.”

“well, then more reason to do it right?”

dammit, he’s convincing.

so after practice, you guys make it on your merry little way to the store and bought everything

no really

everything.

any mask you started reading: in the cart.

any facial cleanser? consider it bought.

face serum? you got it

oh and snacks. lots of snacks.

mans didn’t even let you pay

you knew this would happen so you sneaked and bought something and just hid them in your bag

so you know you guys are spamming your feeds everywhere. tiktok, snapchat, instagram, twitter you name it

you guys took a couple of pictures with your face masks on

since you had to wait a while for the face mask to set, you guys were going to watch something while eating

but no you had other plans

“no put the controller down.”

“what why?”

“because.”

you pull out a manicure kit, you had hidden this from suga

“i’ve gotta make sure my favorite setter has well-taken care nails. wouldn’t want an injury to happen.”

“...”

“kou?”

“i love you so much.”

“i love you too kou”

so you guys take turns feeding each other little snacks while doing suga’s hands. standing up to wash the masks off then continuing where you left off.

the whole time you guys would talk about anything so it was a nice time

once your done he thanks you and kisses your nose

i love him if you can’t tell

you guys definitely have more of these in the future.

you guys used one of the pictures you took together and now have matching profiles, you having sugawara as the profile picture and him having you.

morisuke yaku

you being nekoma’s unofficial but at this point you are the manager you always go to every practice, game, you name it

so you get to see your lovely libero boyfriend practice

and also becoming the mom of the team

oh and let’s mention lev

he’s a great boy, he has potential but does he strike a nerve at yaku sometimes

it seems more recently the team has been pushing these said strikes

while thinking of ways you could help him de-stress, you look up to him smiling at you, only for it to turn to yelling at lev

“what are you thinking about bab- LEV SHUT UP!”

“hmm, i got it!”

“what?”

you point at him and he’s like ???

“you. me. spa night when we get to your house.”

“what- i mean i’m not opposed to it but any reason why? are you okay?

this man doesn’t even realize-

anyways

you take his water bottle he was drinking from and he goes back to practice

you see him working hard, getting his receives, and digs to near perfection. you can’t help but notice how red his arms are getting. more red than usual.

you made a mental note of them and to remember to purchase something at the store later.

after practice ends you guys go to the nearest store and buy everything you need. getting some snacks, face masks, etc.

he goes to the other side of the store to see if he can find any athletic tape and you take your opportunity.

you go into the aisle, pick up the items run to pay, hide them, and boom mission complete.

he comes back with the tape and he doesn’t let you pay

like wtf square up

but it’s fine he kisses you when guys leave the store since he can feel the anger seeping from you

mad —> happy

you guys get back and he throws a hoodie on you, the typical routine.

he’s actually really excited to be doing this! he’s been wanting to do this with you for a while but didn’t know how to bring it up. plus poor baby needed to relax.

“baby let’s do this one!”

“wait mori we need to do this one first”

“oh”

pouty baby

you have your masks on now, waiting for them to set. you pull out a nail file to smoothen out a nail that had chipped in the corner.

“are we doing nails?”

“nope”

”aww”

“oh wait, mori roll your sleeves up”

huh? okay..”

you pull out some massage oil and lotion, the two things you went in search of at the store.

“i’ve seen your arms mori, let me do this.”

“truth be told, i got the tape for that reason.”

you get to work, massaging the arms of the nekoma setter. the pent up stress he had was now gone, due to the fact he was talking to you about it and you massaging his arms.

after you finished, you both wanted to go pick up some food. so you guys head out.

only one thing

you forgot to take the masks off.

“wait mori-“

“oh shit”

“oh well”

so the two of you chaotic people just went to get the food with your face masks on.

before that you guys took pictures

you get to the place you guys wanted to get food from and low and behold:

most of the team is there.

“YAKKUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING”

“SHUT UP ROOSTER HEAD”

“YAKU-SAN IS DYING!”

“lev it’s just a face mask he will live”

“YAKU YOU LUCKY LITTLE-“

“i think they are adorable”

“KAI WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE FUN OF HIM”

“oops”

you guys get your food then r a n

he kisses temple as you both walk out of the food place

please i love him

his arms are feeling so much better! he no longer needs the tape.

it became a silent agreement that more arm massages and more spa nights would take hold in the future.

these were so cute to write i love them-

general taglist- @drabblily @visaintes @bellesowl @miki-snake

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

The art of seduction...

For the lovely @fandoms-are-my-friends-1321​

Hope you’ll enjoy!

"OMG, what have I done?"

(Y/N) wanted to disappear six feet under after her fiasco. How could she manage to embarrass herself in front of her boss?

She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed: she worked for the most powerful man in Gotham City, she should not fail like this!

A small smile came across her lips when she thought about her employer. Oswald Cobblepot, the elected mayor of Gotham, was also one of the rising crime lords. 

She worked for him for 5 years, and she witnessed his rise to power with amazement. 

And she fell in love with him. Madly, truly, deeply. 

But now, she just managed to look like a fool, and she wanted to erase this inglorious moment from her memory.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?"

The familiar voice woke the woman from her daydreaming, and she noticed the presence of Victor Zsasz.

The henchman and (Y/N) get along since they started working together under Cobblepot's orders. And he was the only one who knew about her feelings for their boss... 

"Apart from humiliating myself in front of the boss? Yes, I feel like a million bucks!"

The bald man chuckled.

"I have noticed... Don't worry about Oswald: he did not even pick up on your failed attempt of flirting!"

"Are you here to put the boot in again?"

"Hey, it's not my fault if you say I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did. Seriously girl, do you know how to flirt or what?"

(Y/N) sighed.

"Not really. Most of the time, I am the one men flirted with. Oh wait, harassed would be a suitable description!"

"I'm sorry for you..." mumbled Victor as he massaged the back of his neck.

"Don't be. Now, if you don't mind, I want to be alone and dig my own grave in peace!"

"Come on, don't be over-dramatic! He did not fire you!"

"You got the point..."

Victor cogitated a few moments before declaring:

"Okay, I have a proposition for you!"

"What?" asked the young woman.

"Well, if you want, I can teach you how to flirt!"

(Y/N) raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"You? You know how to hit on someone?"

"My dear (Y/N), I am a man full of surprises! Now, chin up, lady: we have some lessons ahead!

A few moments later, they were alone in a room.

"Okay, first of all: let's check all the qualities you find in Oswald?"

"Physical appearance or character?"

"I don't care... Both, if you want!"

"Alright... So, he is charismatic, smart, powerful, elegant... So charming..."

"Oh my god, put yourself together! It's not the moment to daydream about your twisted prince charming!"

"It's not my fault!"

"Alright, nevermind!" Victor sighed as he raised his hands in a sign of defeat.

"What next?"

"Well... The next step is subtly complimenting him. Let me demonstrate with you..."

He cleared his throat and said:

"Dear, you have the brightest eyes I've ever seen!"

"Uh... Thanks ?"

"You're welcome. Now, your turn: imagine me as Oswald, and say something flirty!"

"Right now?"

"No, in the next century! Of course, right now!"

"Okay, okay! Let me think about something..."

She turned things over in her head before she finally said:

"Sir, you are the most brilliant genius in all Gotham!"

"Not bad, but I am sure you can do better! Go ahead!"

"Right, so... Mister Cobblepot, I wonder how Gothamites did not notice before how amazing you are!"

"Mmmh... Nah! A bit toady for him. Try again!"

"Mmmh... Oh, I know! Sir, no matter what others would say, you are the best man for Gotham!"

"We're getting close... One more time!"

"Oswald, thanks to you, my life has another goal... and it's you!"

Victor slowly clapped.

"Well done, girl! You learn fast!"

"Really?"

"Yes, it's good! Now, next time you want to seduce the boss, you know what to do!"

"Thanks for your help, Victor!"

"Anytime, (Y/N). Anytime."

A week later.

"Okay, (Y/N), time to put into practice what I've taught you!"

"Yes, I know... It's just that I have a knot in my stomach!"

"No need to worry: act naturally! Now, make me proud!"

"Okay, here I go!"

She pulled herself, smiled, and entered Oswald's office. As for Victor, he hid behind the door.

"Good morning, Mister Cobblepot!"

"Ah, good morning, Miss (Y/N). Please, take a seat: we have a lot of work to do!"

During half an hour, they discussed the different projects The Penguin had for his city.

"For the last project, I thought about funding a scholarship for children from single-parent families!"

"Excellent idea, sir! They deserve the same chances as the others!"

"Indeed... Besides, it's a cause close to my heart as I was raised by my mother!"

"I understand, Mister Cobblepot... May I know the name of the scholarship?"

"Of course, where is my mind? I decided to name it "The Gertrude Cobblepot Scholarship for Children in Need"; I named it after my mother!"

A sad smile appeared on his face.

"I owe her so much..."

Seeing him so vulnerable moved (Y/N) who sighed:

"Aw, it's so cute!"

"I beg your pardon?" exclaimed Oswald.

"WTF is she doing?" muttered Victor, surprised.

Panicked, (Y/N) lost her mind and started blattering:

"Sorry, I mean... You are very cute!"

"Cute? Really?" asked Oswald, unconvinced.

"Oh no!" grumbled Victor as he facepalmed.

And it was not the end of the show... 

"Nevermind, let's go back to work! So, I was saying..."

He stopped as he noticed (Y/N) staring at him.

"(Y/N)? Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yes, sorry... It's just that I get lost in your eyes!"

"What ?!"

"I must be dreaming!" groaned Victor as he clasped both his hands on his face.

"It's true: you have such beautiful eyes!"

"Miss... Are you sure you do not have any fever?"

"No... But I am sure being in your arms is the warmest place on Earth!"

"What's this nonsense?"

"It worsens every second! Stop it, (Y/N)!" discreetly whined Victor as he seemed desperate.

But the young woman was not ready to stop... 

"Either you're drunk, (Y/N), or you're making a fool of me, and I don't like it!"

"But I'm not making a fool of you, Mr. Cobblepot! Speaking of that, you're not far from the truth: I'm drunk in love with you!"

Oswald was wide-eyed: in his entire life, he has never seen such a scene!

Crossing his arms against his chest, he sighed:

"Tell me the truth, (Y/N): are you just trying to flirt with me?"

Blinking like she woke up from a dream, the woman realized what happened and sputtered:

"OMG, NO! Tell me it's a nightmare!"

"No, welcome to the real world! But I'm waiting for an answer!"

Ashamed by the situation, (Y/N) confessed:

"Yes, indeed! You've finally noticed..."

"Oh, come on! This is a disaster!" whispered Zsasz.

"So, you're flirting with me... Okay, may I know why?"

"Where can I start? You're the most amazing person I ever met, and I am so happy to be among your trusted people! And... As I said before, I fell in love with you on the first day. I tried to subtly flirt with you but, as you can see, it's an epic fail!"

She lowered her head, waiting for a fit of anger. Instead, she saw Oswald chuckling.

"Well, I must say that I admire your bravery (Y/N). You're right: your flirting attempts are not a success... Moreover, they are not really necessary!"

"I guess so..."

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Because I am a silly girl who thinks she can have a romance with her boss?" (Y/N) answered with a sad tone.

"No, you're wrong... Your flirting was not necessary because I already like you!"

"Wait, what?" she exclaimed.

"Oh my, what a twist!" thought Victor.

"That's the truth, (Y/N): you are an astounding woman. I admire your strong will, your loyalty, your smiling character... Everything in you is perfect for me!"

"Mr. Cobblepot..."

"Please, call me Oswald!"

"Oswald... Thank you... For not shut me away!"

A sly smile appeared on Oswald's face.

"Pleasure is all mine, (Y/N). Now that everything is settled and the misunderstanding has disappeared, would give me the greatest honor to join me for a date?"

A wide grin appeared on (Y/N)'s face.

"Of course!"

"Wonderful! Friday evening, 8 p.m.? I know a nice restaurant in the neighborhood: you're going to love it!"

"I am sure..."

"By the way, (Y/N)"

"Yes?"

"I can't give you the world... But I can promise to give you my world!"

"I cannot ask for more!"

While the two lovebirds talked about their future dates, Victor smiled, relieved to see it ended well:

"At least, she reached her goal... But Lord, that girl was close to giving me a heart attack!"

Sometimes, a bad pick up line can bring you the right way to your crush's heart...

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- I Missed You

tysm to @thoughtlesspace for always giving me ideas ily sm-Oh what if their exs and they haven’t spoken since the break up and that (sharing a room) forces them too and they find out their still in love w each other and smut ensues

warnings: angsty!!, warren cries a little :( , cussing, smut at the end ;)

word count: 3.2K (she’s LONG)

A/N: i got the gif from @mazzelloplots and he looks so good wtf like please let me suck your dick sir 

It was a standard mission: depart from the school, travel for a day or two, recruit the newly discovered mutant, travel back, and get the new mutant registered and settled in. New mutants were found every few months thanks to Professor Xavier’s cerebro device, making this a usual routine to (Y/n).  (Y/n) had been on tons of missions like this, even if it had been a few months since her last one.

(Y/n)’s last recruitment mission was about four months ago. It was her, Jean, Scott, and Warren- Warren.

(Y/n) hadn’t spoken to him since that mission. He had been careless, almost getting himself and everyone else killed by being too public about his mutation while they were tracking down the new mutant. (Y/n) had gone off about how dangerous it was and how he had a death wish, which resulted in Warren dumping her that same moment, saying something about “I don’t need you trying to control me.”

Of course, (Y/n) wasn’t trying to control him, just merely looking out for him because god knows he needed someone on his side after all the shit he had been through.

The rest of that mission (Y/n) avoided Warren, not wanting him to see how red and puffy her eyes were after their break up. She hid out in the back of the plane the whole ride back, busy crying into her hoodie.

The one thing that really bothered her about the break up, the one thing she was thinking about the entire flight back home- Warren didn’t seem affected at all. The same day they broke up she saw him laughing and making jokes with Scott as if he didn’t even care that he had ended their nine month relationship.

They had been together for almost a whole year and he felt nothing when it was over. (Y/n)’s sadness quickly turned to anger over the next fews days following their break up. She felt like it had all been a game to Warren, a game she didn’t want to play.

In an attempt to move on, she had been avoiding him since and had no plans to speak to him ever again.

That was until it was announced that after her four months off from recruitment missions, she was expected to make a trip all the way to Colorado with Jean, Scott, and Warren.

“Jean, you need to help me! I do not want to see him, I can’t see him. Can you try telling the Professor that you guys can handle it on your own? Honestly-you don’t need me.”

Jean rolled her eyes, watching (Y/n) face plant into her pillow while Jean packed. “I’m not doing that, (Y/n). We do need you and Warren won’t even care that you’re coming, he’s totally over everything, Scott said so.”

(Y/n) groaned into her pillow, feeling heat rush to her face in both embarrassment and anger. How could Warren be completely over me, but I can’t stop thinking about him? It’s not fair, she thought to herself.

“You still have feelings for Warren?”

(Y/n) sat up fast, “Stay out of my head, Jean!”

She raised her hands in surrender, “Sorry, sorry, you were just being really loud... but, do you?”

(Y/n) slowly nodded, eyes on the floor. Jean was quiet, not sure how to respond. She remembered how much (Y/n) had liked Warren when they were together, she was sure (Y/n) was in love with him.

“I still like him so much, and he’s totally over me.. what am I going to do?”

Jean walked over, taking a seat next to her on (Y/n)’s bed, patting her shoulder. “You’re going to be fine. It’s still fresh, but you’ll get over it eventually, you’ll find someone even better, trust me.”

(Y/n) shook her head, burying her face in her hands, letting out a sigh, “There’s no one better, he was the one.”

Jean patted her back, sighing with her.

The next morning (Y/n) was woken up by Jean’s alarm at 5:15, giving them an hour to finish packing, eat, change into their gear, and load up. At 5:45 (Y/n) stumbled into the kitchen, still not quite awake.

Looking up towards the pantry, she saw a figure all too familiar. White wings stretched out, curly hair a mess. He looked as amazing as ever, maybe even better than usual. His sleepy expression was one thing (Y/n) missed. She remembered the mornings she would wake up with him pressed against her, wings keeping her warm. She remembered his gravelly morning voice that always gave her chills, or the way he would push his face into the crook of her neck, leaving soft kisses to help her wake up.

(Y/n) was broken from her thoughts by the sounds of the pantry door closing. Warren made his way to the fridge, not looking at her. (Y/n) sneaked behind him, not wanting to make eye contact with him, not knowing what she would do if she did. She grabbed a breakfast bar from the pantry before trying to speed off down the hallway to move her gear into the plane.

“That’s all you’re going to eat?”

She stopped her movements, nearly dropping the bar in surprise. (Y/n) hadn’t heard his voice in nearly four months. She didn’t answer him, stuck frozen to the floor, not sure what to do about this situation.

“You always told me how breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You should eat some protein or something, not just that shit.”

(Y/n) had to stop herself from snapping at him, stop herself from yelling “Why do you care?”

She kept her head forward, not looking at where he stood behind her. She started to walk forward again, hoping to move past this situation.

“(Y/n).”

She stopped again, resisting the urge to turn around.

Warren ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to think of what to say while he had her there. “You always made sure I took care of myself, it’s time you do the same. A good breakfast is a nice start.”

(Y/n) sped down the hallway for the last time, trying to figure out why Warren was so pushy about the fact the fact that she was eating a bar instead of a fresh breakfast.

Truth is, Warren was trying anything to hold a conversation with her. He figured bringing up one of (Y/n)’s favorite methods of “self-care” would do the trick. Warren pulled his hand from his hair, groaning at how his hair was greasy and knotted.

You could say that (Y/n) had been a large part of Warren’s “hygiene.” Before they started going steady, he had been in an emotionless slump, never having the motivation to even do the simplest things like take care of himself. (Y/n) started pushing him to do so, knowing it would make him feel better.

He remembered after their first “official” date, a movie and a nice walk through the park (where they had gotten rained on), (Y/n) helped clean his wet wings. They were grimey from all the outdoor training he had been doing and desperately needed to be cleaned, but it was too difficult for him to reach and took too much effort. The feeling of her hands on him in that way was one he would never be able to forget. Her soft touches were something he wasn’t used to after his time in the cage in Berlin.

He hated to admit it, but he missed those soft touches, her warm hugs, the feeling of her pressed against him on a cold night, her soft lips on his- all feelings that Warren would never experience again because of how badly he had fucked up four months ago. And he hated himself for it.

He wasn’t even sure why it happened- he was stressed from the mission, angry from seeing anti-mutant protests in the streets as they tracked down their new recruit, and having (Y/n) snap at him about being careless and almost getting all of them killed by bringing attention to them, it just pushed him past his limit.

He should’ve taken it back that day, begged for her forgiveness, but he had broken up with her in front of everyone (another thing he regrets- he can’t imagine how embarrassing that must’ve been for her). If he were to beg her to take him back, he would’ve looked weak. He was too proud to undo what he had done, and it ultimately ended up destroying him.

On the way back from that mission he had seen her cry for the first time. All Warren wanted to do was hold her, stroke her hair, and whisper nice things in her ear to calm her down, until he remembered he was the cause of it all. How he would never be able to hold her again because she hated him.

Warren slammed the fridge shut, letting his anger get the better of him.

At 6:10, 5 minutes till departure, (Y/n) was stuffing her bag into a seat next to her, buckling it up so her stuff didn’t bounce around the plane. A few minutes after (Y/n) had taken her seat, Warren entered the plane, bag slung over his shoulder. He walked towards the row of seats where (Y/n) was, moving her bag from next to her so he could sit.

She said nothing, taking her bag from his hands and putting it below her chair. Warren’s leg was bouncing with anxiety. What do I say? What do I say?

“Hi.” Smooth, really thought out, genius!

(Y/n) eyes were still straight ahead, not wanting to see him. She afraid she would see how happy he was, how breaking up with her had finally freed him, because according to him those 4 months ago, she was just so controlling.

She was even more afraid of him seeing how broken she still was. (Y/n) didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her like that.

“So.. how are you?” Warren was leaning forward in his seat now, trying to get her to make eye contact with him.

(Y/n) was getting more and more annoyed by the second. Why does he want to talk to me?

She opened her mouth to snap at him, but was interrupted by Scott.

“We all set to leave?”

Jean climbed up in after him, helping Scott set the autopilot controls. (Y/n) took the opportunity of their interrupting presence to move seats, getting away from Warren.

Warren looked away from Scott to see (Y/n) rushing with her bag to the other side of the plane. He let out a sigh, hand running through his hair again.

What am I supposed to do if she won’t even talk to me?

Maybe you shouldn’t have broken up with her, you dick.

Warren jumped in his seat at the sudden sound of Jean in his head. Get out of my head, Jean!

No.

He looked at where she was sitting at the front of the plane with Scott, eyebrows furrowed. Well, can you at least be helpful if you’re going to eavesdrop? What do I do?

You don’t deserve her.

I know I don’t.

Jean was silent for a moment, taken back by his answer. She had always pictured Warren as some cocky douche ever since he had ended things with (Y/n) in front of everyone, but he was surprising her by sounding sincere.

I know I don’t deserve her, but please.. I miss her so fucking much. I need to get her back. Please help me.

Jean didn’t answer him, she returned to speaking with Scott as if she hadn’t just heard Warren open his heart. She didn’t say anything for the rest of the flight, all four hours of it.

Warren kept his eyes on the ground for the rest of the way, occasionally glancing towards (Y/n), praying she would look back at him just once.

The next few hours after they landed was spent tracking down the address of the new mutant. They located the house, but discovered the mutant was at a friends house until the following day, allowing Jean, Scott, (Y/n), and Warren to turn in early at the motel they were staying in for the night.

They were only able to get two rooms since it was Winterfest weekend in Denver and every hotel and motel in sight was completely booked. Jean and Scott had gone to the vending machine in the main office while (Y/n) and Warren silently unloaded their stuff from the rental car.

(Y/n) threw her and Jean’s bags into the first room, letting Warren handle his and Scott’s things. After locking the car, (Y/n) shut the door to her and Jean’s room throwing herself onto the one bed, happy it was a queen size so Jean wouldn’t kick her too much.

(Y/n) was flicking through channels on the TV when there was a knock at the door. Opening it, she saw Jean’s red hair covered in snow flurries.

“Hey, came to grab my stuff.”

(Y/n) stood frozen, confused as Jean walked past her, grabbing her duffel bag. “What?”

“Oh come on, it hasn’t been that long since we’ve all been on a mission like this. I room with Scott and you with Warren so that we can all.. you know.”

(Y/n) shook her head quickly, “No, Jean, no. That was before.. that was old times. I need to room with you, I’m not sharing a room with Warren!” She stood in front of the door, trying to block Jean from leaving.

“Yes you are. I need to room with Scott, we haven’t been alone in weeks.”

“Ew, Jean shut up.”

Jean rolled her eyes, pushing past (Y/n).

“Jean no! Come back!”

(Y/n) ran to the other room next door where Jean had gone, knocking loudly. The door opened, revealing Warren with his bag in his hand.

“Hey-”

“No! Jean, no!”

Warren’s voice immediately stopped. She doesn’t even want to see me, why would Jean think she’d be okay rooming with me?

His heart sunk even farther as (Y/n) continued her protests while he set up shop in her room. He sat down on the right side of her bed, remembering how she preferred the left side. His head was in his hands, eyes burning from frustration and self-hatred.

All Warren could think about was how much fun these missions used to be for him and (Y/n). The night before meeting with the recruit was spent eating too many vending machine snacks and staying up too late fooling around. Now he’d consider himself lucky if she said one word to him.

(Y/n) entered the room, dragging her feet. She stopped as she saw Warren on the bed. “You aren’t sleeping on the bed.”

Warren’s head whipped up at her words. She hadn’t spoken to him all day and that was the first thing she had said? 

“I’m not sleeping on the floor, it’s freezing.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, grabbing a pillow, “Fine, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Warren’s hand shot out, grabbing her wrist. “No (Y/n), you’ll freeze.”

She shook off his hand, “Don’t touch me, asshole.”

Warren quickly retracted his hand, voice breaking as he mumbled an “I’m sorry.”

Her words circled in his head as he tried to hold back his tears.

don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, asshole

(Y/n) wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do about a crying Warren on her bed. 

“(Y/n)..”

Turns out, her body made the decision for her by making her involuntarily leap onto the bed to hold him at the sound of her name passing through his lips. He pressed his face into her shoulder, tears still running freely.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, (Y/n) please-I love you so much, I’m so sorry, I love you-”

“Warren..”

“I’m such an asshole and I don’t deserve you, I know I don’t but I love you so much-”

“Warren-”

“I’m so sorry, I love-”

“Warren, you don’t love me.”

He pulled away from her shoulder, looking up at her with wet cheeks. “Yes I do, (Y/n). I love you so much and-”

“If you loved me you never would have-”

“I never should have! I didn’t want to end things- I was just irritated and tired and mad and I’m so sorry, please (Y/n).” 

(Y/n) stayed still, eyes on him. She wasn’t sure what to make of his apology or the fact that for the first time he said he loved her.

“God, look at me, I look like such a pussy. I can’t believe I’m crying in front of you.” Warren wiped his eyes, still watching her, waiting for a reaction. When none came he moved his hands to cup her face, looking into her eyes, “I love you so much and I’m so fucking so-”

(Y/n) cut him off by placing a strong kiss to his lips, which Warren immediately fell into, not realizing how much he had missed the taste of her. 

She pulled away, hands on his face, wiping at the few tears that were still spilling. 

She pressed her forehead against his, holding him close.

“I love you, (Y/n) and you don’t have to say it back, I know you hate me-”

“I love you, Warren.”

Warren’s heart skipped a beat as he heard those words leave her mouth, something he was honestly not expecting to hear, ever. He jumped on top of her, pinning her to the bed. 

“I missed you so much, you have no idea.”

He pushed his lips back onto hers, pressing his tongue into her mouth, fighting with hers. 

(Y/n)’s hands started to trail under his shirt, feeling the scars beneath her fingers. She started to tug at it, signaling to Warren that he should take it off. He pulled out of the kiss, trying to pull the shirt over his head without ripping it on his big wings. 

(Y/n) followed his suit, pulling her hoodie and shirt over her head, leaving her in a bra and jeans. 

Warren laid back onto her, grinding his hips against hers as he kissed her neck while he teased at her bra straps, waiting for her to beg for it.

“Warren...,” she whimpered. 

“What do you want? Tell me.”

“Fuck me please, I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

Warren pulled his face from her neck, looking at her now. “And your hand just doesn’t compare, does it?”

(Y/n) shook her head, licking her lips as she thought of all the nights she spent with her hand in her panties trying to give herself the same feeling Warren used to. 

“Let me make it up to you first...”

Warren began to slide down her body, unbuttoning her jeans, pulling them down with her underwear in one go. 

“No, Warren, I need you to fuck me now. Like right now.”

Warren moved back up to her face. “You sure? I miss going down on you, it’s been far too long..”

“We’ll have time for that later, now I just need your cock, please!”

Warren pulled down his sweats, leaving his boxers for her to deal with. Her hands reached up to where he was on top of her, palming him, getting him so hard it hurt. 

“Fuck, I missed you, (Y/n).”

(Y/n) finally pulled down his boxers, “Show me how much you missed me.”

taglist:  @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thoughtlesspace @billyhargovesgurl @babebenhardy

hmu to be added to my taglist!! and send me requests!!

[archangelgabriellives]

News at 11

Rating: WTF

Pairings: Almost none

Length: 792

Written for @nongaberichbang bingo, square filled: Non Action Guy with T. Rickster

A/N: So, this damn stupid idea came to me while I was at work, and I thought it was great, so damn right I wrote it. It’s just as ridiculous as I imagined and I like it. Whether or not you guys think it’s funny too is yet to be seen.

T., I wrote this for you! Don’t let those mods keep you down! <3

~~

The darkened studio was abuzz with the murmurs of workers, talking into their headsets and checking camera equipment. Soon they were shushing each other, the low lights dimming further and everyone settled into their roles as the show got on the road. 

A sweeping opening chorus played, the spotlight coming up on a handsome man behind an impressive desk as the cameras zoomed in. He gave the audience a playful bounce of his brows and a devastating smile, then began reading from his teleprompter.

“Hello out there. I'm T. Rickster, and this is the news for you. Today I'm helping Tumblr user @archangelgabriellives cheat on her Non-Gabriel bingo card. This writing challenge on the blogging website has...” A noise in his earpiece caught his attention. “Hmm? Oh excuse me for one second,” he said as he raised a hand to his ear. “...mmm hmmm… I see. Well,” he paused, “I'm T. Rickster and my mods have informed me that I'm not helping Tumblr user @archangelgabriellives cheat at her bingo card.” T. tapped and straightened his blank papers on his desk, awkwardly pausing and staring into the camera. “No sir. Not cheating at all.”

His smile was tight and fake, plastered in place as he slowly swiveled in his chair to camera two.

"And we have the distinct honor of having the author that I am not not helping cheat in the studio this evening. Welcome to the show, @archangelgabriellives."

The author sat nervously in the guest chair, stiffly waving and looking like she'd rather not be there.

"Please don't look directly at the camera," T. whispered as he leaned a little closer.

The author blushed and scrunched her shoulders in apology. "Thanks for having me here. It's an honor. Um, I like your tie." She blushed even deeper.

"Thanks, it's a selfie." T. looked genuinely happy about the compliment, waving the cherub splattered tie between his fingers. "So," he said as he smoothed the fabric back down, "what gives you the balls to write a blatant self insert, slow pitch of a fic like this?"

"Oh...well…"

Before she could go on, a crash blasted its way through the studio. P.A.’s and important people with clipboards scrambled, screaming as they avoided the falling rubble. Over the yelling and clatter, a dark and horrible wailing rose up. Hordes of ghosts flooded in, grabbing what or who ever they could and sending them flying. 

Huddled under the desk, T. and the author hid from view, wide eyed and silent. 

“So…this happen often?” the author finally asked, horrified as a table from craft services slammed into the wall.

“You might be surprised,” T. groused, kicking away some drywall. “Just count yourself lucky that I wore pants today.”

“Please tell me you have a match for that tie.”

“Ha! Save it for the bedroom, girl. We need to get the hell out of here.”

“Can’t you do something? You said this has happened before.”

“What?! I’m a reporter,” T. scoffed. “I get my makeup done with the softest brushes and sip my fair trade, hand picked coffee in the most comfortable chair you can imagine. I don't fight ghosts. We have people who handle that.”

“My chair wasn't that comfy,” she griped.

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s damn expensive. They could only afford the one.” Waiting for a trio of raucous ghosts to move away from the desk, T. carefully reached a hand up and over the top, coming back with a rotary phone. “Fight ghosts,” he muttered under the clicking of dialing numbers. “No thank you.”

“Who are you calling?”

Pausing mid dial, T.’s eyes narrowed as he turned.

“Look, if you're gonna be here you gotta do the line right.”

“Oops, sorry,” she whispered, clearing her voice before she spoke again. “Who ya gonna call?”

There was a bang, and the room went silent. Ghost and humans alike stared in awe as a dense fog rolled in through the busted door. Through the rolling clouds, two men entered, dressed for battle with the undead. 

“Oh, are you serious right now?” T. yelled as he pushed his way over to the taller of the men. “I see how it is, Sam. You can't call me back after one date, but you come running for a tiny ghost explosion?”

“Oh my god, you called it in?” Sam yelled. “And why the hell would I ever call you back? Terrance, you jumped in the lobster tank!” 

“You laughed when Tom Hardy did it!”

The author could only stand to the side, deeply regretting coming here in the first place.

“Cut the camera, Bob-o!”

~~

@authoressskr @marichromatic @sa5nthunderheadrev @idabbleincrazy

you guys wanted it, and I’m so sorry that you have it XD