#wrong blog to discuss this with . i fear

[heungmins]

and if i say the rabid shipping culture that crosses so many lines on twt has ruined some of the friendships in the club (and has actually probs already ruined one) then what

pardon

[sodomit]

TRANSUNITY

Transunity is a political theory that was actively talked about on Tumblr a couple of years ago, but has since fallen out of the public spotlight. And this is unfortunate, because it could have really improved a lot of the discourse around gender.

There exists a blog under that name ( @transunity ), but it has been inactive for a year. I am not affiliated with that blog anyhow, I never had any personal contacts with its mods, but I want to get their general ideas to circulate again, so I'm trying to bring this back up in a semi organized fashion. My take on transunity is just my take, if you're one of the original coiners, and you disagree, I encourage you to talk about it, because we still have much more in common with each other than different.

GENERAL VIEWS

I believe that one of the fundamental ideas more trans people need to understand is that we're all more or less in the same place in the eyes of the society (when other factors, such as ethnicity or disability, are considered). To be trans is to fail the gender role system, from the point of view of cis people we can no longer be proper men or women. All kinds of trans people regardless of identity are affected by misogyny and misandry (not a type of marginalization by itself, but turns into a vector of oppression when overlapping with a different marginalization), which forms the foundation of transmisogyny, transandrophobia, and exorsexism*. These types of bigotry are not exclusive and unique to specific gender identities either and may be applied to any trans person for as long as it's convenient to the oppressor.

Trans people do not have gendered power over each other, and intra community bigotry is better conceptualized as a form of lateral aggression.

Gender assignment and sex are never strictly binary (especially with inclusion of intersex people, who belong in gender conversations even if they don't identify as trans) and need to be understood as much more fluid and not strictly correlating with one's actual position in life.

WHAT WE NEED TO REDUCE

The following things should be discussed more critically:

- "Powerjacketing" - implying someone has gendered privilege as a means of delegitimizing their words, while in reality they do not have this privilege;

- Malgendering - forcing trans people to choose between being gendered correctly and speaking up about their mistreatment (e.g. questioning trans women's womanhood on the basis of them aggressively defending themselves or trans men's manhood on the basis of them asking for help) or implying there's something wrong with them in a way that reinforces gender stereotypes;

- Assuming that some trans people are exempt from some forms of oppression on the basis of gender assignment/sex (e.g. by calling all trans people who were assigned female "tme"** or claiming trans people who were assigned male are inherently incapable of understanding fear of sexual assault);

- Assuming that oppression of trans people is rooted in gender assignment/sex (such as, calling reproductive oppression "sex based oppression"***);

- Gatekeeping certain identities, such as "transmasc", "transbian", "femboy" as exclusive to any gender assignment/sex;

- Creating a duality out of "transsexual" and "cissexual", where not medically transitioning trans people are assumed to have some kind of a gendered privilege, or to not be trans in any meaningful material way. Various transmed ideas about dysphoria and transition go there too;

- Accusing trans people who take inspiration from each other of appropriation (trans headcanons, kinks, drag culture, etc).

SYMBOL

The following image is the official transunity symbol developed by the original transunity bloggers. Sorry about the glitch effect, I wasn't able to find one without it.

* Transmisogyny, transandrophobia, and exorsexism are not exclusive to specific identities, although they do primarily target traits associated with these identities. They can be conceptualized as bigotry and oppression towards people who are recognized as incorrectly entering respectively womanhood, manhood, and a status beyond gender binary (for the latter no normative form exists****). However, it's not wrong to use them to mean "oppression of trans women" and so forth, for as long as you're not claiming it's exclusive.

** Labels like "tma" and "tme" still may be used, but solely in a self assigned manner. I believe that an individual trans person is capable of evaluating whether they're affected by transmisogyny and in what way, and they should be trusted on this. However, no gender assignment and no current gender identity makes anyone inherently tme.

*** "Sex based oppression" instead of "reproductive oppression" reinforces the idea that people who share a specific body part (e.g. an uterus in context of conversations about abortion) are inherently of the same sex. This type of essentialism is desperately needed by terfs in this discussion, as they're trying to sell the ideas of "sex based oppression" and "sex based privilege" to people they want to recruit in their ideology. Invoking the idea of "sex" as something trans men and some nonbinary people are oppressed through is not the correct way to respond to people who say we don't experience any gendered violence besides "just transphobia", it has shitty implications and helps shitty people.

**** Lack of existence of normative nonbinary gender does not mean that these genders are not recognized by the society as a deviant, marginalized identity, and that binary people cannot be pushed into this zone.

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hi! It's me again! 🤗

I was reading about the awful things that happened to Aegon in the brothel. Him so desperately trying to be taken care of and only finding more abuse broke my heart 🥺 and also got me thinking... What if he doesn't have a good, loving wife to make it all better? 😭 What if instead, one of the workers (Reader) finally takes pity on him and treats him the way he needs so much? Taking him away from the awful workers and under her wing? I imagine he would become instantly addicted. Never letting other worker touch him again. Only accepting her services. I bet he would get possessive as well. Paying an enormous amount of gold to be the only one that can touch her.

Do you think he would dare bring her to live in the castle? Or even more scandalous, actually MARRY her? Or he would be too scared of his pious mother's reaction (as well as the rest of the kingdoms') to a whore becoming queen? There is also the possibility of him just gifting her a big house with servants, close to the castle, so he can visit whenever he wants needs... Sooooo many possibilities! 😳

What do you think?

Oh my god. Are you sure you don't want to take over this blog because this is INCREDIBLE??? I am obsessed. I actually think I'm gonna tag this with 'subby Aegon!au' so that we can discuss this more and you guys can easily use the tag to find everything about this because I fear this may be my new obsession.

Anyway, NSFW sub!aegon that starts very angsty but has a happy ending under the cut!!

So for anyone who missed the post that inspired this, we were discussing how Aegon would know he was a submissive and go to a brothel to submit to the workers there. He desperately wants to just be loved and cared for and feel like a good boy but none of the workers will do that and he doesn't quite have the language to explain what he wants/needs. So instead he just ends up going through all this abuse and humiliation and degradation just to hear them say he did well at the end. He always goes into subdrop afterwards and he feels so terrible but he also can't stop going because it's the only time that he actually feels like he's good enough.

For this AU, I think it makes the most sense that you first encounter Aegon after he's had a scene with someone else? Cause Aegon always pays very VERY well and so the brothel workers who have dominated him always ensure that no one else can lay with him because they want all that money? Like maybe the madam of the brothel you work at has a very strict rule that no one other than her is allowed to lay with the king. Of course there's plenty of rumours going around the brothel about what he likes he and pretty much everyone knows that the madam dominates him.

You first encounter Aegon after he finished a particularly brutal scene with the madame. Half an hour later when the madam wants to use that room again he's still laying there? He hasn't even gotten dressed, is just laying there with a thin blanket wrapped around himself.

The madam does not want to deal with him because she knows from experience that he gets all clingy and weepy after a scene and so she sends you in to kick him out. Well, she tells you to kick him out.

But then you walk in and he just... he looks so small? You slowly walk over and gently place your hand on his shoulder. He jumps up and scrambles off the bed, mumbling apologies because he knows the madam told him to leave and he still hadnt.

You quickly tell him it's alright, that he's done nothing wrong and the look he gives you is just so heartbreaking? He's all wide eyed and shocked and there's a very very small smile on his face when he whispers, "Really? I... you're sure? I'm good?"

Which, yeah there's no way you're kicking him out now. You help him get back into his clothes and then take him to your private room. The rule is supposed to be no clients in the personal quarters, but this is quite literally the king so you don't see anyone complaining.

You keep an arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him like that and he just leans against you? You can't believe that the madam doesn't stay with him after she dominates him, especially because he's just so sweet? He's leaning against you, mumbling thanks and letting you lead him without complaint. He's so sweet and vulnerable and you can't believe the madam would leave him and not care for him.

He's so shocked when he finds himself in your private quarters, and he's even more surprised when you wet a rag and gently clean the tears off his face. He leans into every one of your touches, trying to soak up as much attention as he can.

You ask him if you can undress him again so you can clean him properly, and he just starts sobbing and throws himself in your arms because he can't believe how lucky he is. You just hold him and tell him that he's doing so good, that you just want to get him cleaned up a little more and then he can take a nice nap with you.

He closes his eyes and cries silently as you clean him. There are welts on his back from the madam's whip so you have to ensure you clean them properly or risk infection. You expect to have to clean dried cum from between his thighs but to your surprise there's nothing?

When you ask, he just wines and mumbles, "Wasnt good, couldnt cum" which just breaks your heart because you refuse to entertain any possibility that this sweet little thing wasnt absolutely perfect.

You finish cleaning him and you're about to help him get his clothes back on when he just kinda collapses onto the bed. You don't even bother with that then and instead you just get into bed with him.

"Come here," you tell him, opening your arms and he immediately dives right in. You hold him tight and when you press a kiss to the e top of his head he just melts into you.

When he wakes, he's hard. He tries to apologise for it but you won't hear it, and you ask if you can help him. He tries to shake his head and say that he can't go through that again, but then you interrupt him and promise him that you only mean helping him cum and do nothing else.

He's so sweet when you stroke him, mumbling how good it feels and begging to cum and after he does, he even takes your hand and licks it clean? He's just the bed boy and he's clearly trying so so hard to please you, so you make sure to praise him constantly because the poor thing deserves it.

The next time he comes to the brothel, he tells the madam to get lost and asks for you. He won't even consider another, not after you cared for him and praised him and made him feel safe. Of course the madam is not happy about this, but she cant stop him and so he goes to the room and waits for you.

When you walk in and ask why he's asked for you, he just says that he really liked you from before. And then he actually looks nervous? Like you might tell him that he has to go back to the madam.

You tell him that as much as you'd love to, you can't do what the madam does to him. You explain that you can't degrade him or slap him or anything like that. But then he just smiles even wider and tells you he doesn't want that, he just wants what you did last time.

He seems all blushy and nervous and there's a very obvious tent in his breeches. You smirk then and say, "Aw, do you want me to take care of you? Yeah? Let me do all the thinking and you can just be my pretty good boy?"

Instantly he's slipping from the bed and down onto his knees, kneeling and nodding comically quick because yes. That's everything he's ever wanted and more.

And he's just so good for you? He listens to every single order, and he begs so prettily and his sounds are just insane. When it's over, you pull him into your chest and kiss his head and tell him he did so so well for you. He's just on cloud nine, because this is absolutely everything he's ever wanted and more.

When he leaves, he pays you double what he pays the Madam and when you tell him that's too much, he says that there's no amount of gold in the world that could be enough to thank you for how you looked after him. He asks if he can come back, if you'll let him do that again and of course you agree to let him.

The madam isnt happy with you of course, but she can't exactly force the king to lay with her instead. For about three weeks things continue like that, with Aegon visiting every few days and paying you very very handsomely. He always stays for a few hours after this, just getting cuddles and kisses.

After a while, the madam comes to you and is unhappy that Aegon will not be with anyone else. Aegon pays very handsomely and he also lets them basically beat him up, so of course the madam is unhappy that she no longer get aegon's time. Aegon, meanwhile, will not even look at another.

The next time Aegon comes to the brothel, you're with another client? As much as you wish that you could just see Aegon, if you did that then the madam would kick you out. The madam is overjoyed when Aegon walks in and you're with another client, because it means she can swoop in and tell Aegon you're busy but that she'd be more than happy to do it instead.

And Aegon just... he knew that obviously you had other clients, but knowing and actually being there while you were with someone else are two different things. His smile falls instantly, and he says that he doesn't want anyone else. The madam tries again, maybe even touching him and telling him to think about all the good times they had, which prompts him to stumble backwards and very firmly say that he won't be seeking the services of anyone else.

He ends up leaving the brothel and then comes back the following night and is so so relieved to find that you are free. He's much more whiney and clingy than you're used to, to the point where he cries if you even let go of his hand. You end up having to pull away o ask what's going on, because he seems very distressed. You hadnt seen him like that since you took care of him that first night.

He gets quiet and then eventually asks how many other men you see every day. You sigh, because you knew this question was coming and you're not sure what to say to him. You end up just saying that this is your job, and that the madam is already upset with you for being the only one he goes to so you can't risk only seeing him because then you'd almost certainly be kicked out of the brothel entirely and have no wear to live.

Before you had even finished speaking Aegon had already made up his mind to give you enough gold that you never have to be with anyone else. You try to tell him that's not necessary, but for him it absolutely is. He will not allow the only person who makes him feel good in the entire seven kingdoms to struggle to earn a living when he is quite literally the king.

At first you turn him down, stating that you have to earn your own way and that you can't rely on him.

And then he goes quiet for a moment before he just softly says, "But, I rely on you? We can rely on each other?" Which is just the sweetest thing you've ever heard. You kiss his head and let him curl against your chest, giving him a little squeeze before telling him that you won't let him pay everything, but you will ket him pay enough to the madam that she will allow you to only take clients of your choice and also to set aside 4 nights every week that are just for him. It's not everything he wanted, but it's pretty damn close. And Aegon is so obsessed with you that he will absolutely take 4 days a week of your undivided attention.

It carries on like that for a while, with you and him being together 4 nights a week and he's just... he's so sweet and he's so perfect and he loves being with you so much. Maybe sometimes he doesn't even want anything sexual? Which yeah is wild cause Aegon is pretty much always horny, but when he's getting so thoroughly fucked every second day, sometimes he just wants to be with you.

Even when he doesn't want something sexual, that is not at all to say he doesn't still want to come be with you. Aegon would sleep in the same bed as you every single night if he could. He also just loves being able to talk to you about his day? You always listen to him and offer him advice. He's never really even able to feel like he can decompress at the end of the day, but now he's always able to with you. He knows that the moment he walks through the doors, you will know how to help him.

I think that eventually you'd accept his offer of him being your only client, and the day you tell him that he is smiling and giggling for the entire day. He definitely buys you a little cottage close to the keep, and as much as you try to say he doesn't need to, he won't hear it.

In fact he actually loves providing for you like that? You do so so much for him and he knows he'd never be able to function without you and so to know that he can do something to help you is just amazing and it makes him so so so happy.

I absolutely adore this concept!! This ask is already insanely long so I'm not gonna go any further here but if anyone else has thoughts about this let me know!!! I'd love to discuss it more :))

[leth-writes]

bait

SUMMARY: Damian would like to welcome you to the family.

WARNINGS: 18+ as always on my blog, though the work is safe for work. Typical yandere shenanigans.

MASTERLIST: https://www.tumblr.com/leth-writes/757800060720496640/requests-open?source=share 

Requests are open!

Normally, Damian would hate being babied. He was a trained assassin, the blood of Ra’as Al Ghoul ran through his veins, he was the son of the feared Bat! And yet, here he was, sitting in your kitchen, watching you make him some (vegan) mac n’ cheese. 

Originally, Damian did not understand the obsession his family seemed to have with you. He spent days complaining, stomping around the manor, irritated that his family was wasting time with some… weakling. It seemed that every time he walked into a room, the only topic of discussion was you.

As one of the newer additions to the family, and a biological one at that, it seemed he had missed out on something vital to his family. So, he decided to just… ask, as his father would advise,  just why they were wasting time on someone who wouldn’t ever be able to adhere to the illustrious standards his family had set. 

The person he decided on was Grayson, someone he normally looked up to.

He sat across from his older brother, who was preoccupied with that insipid app that Drake had designed, keeping track of your vitals and ensuring your safety. Finally, fed up with being ignored, Damian cleared his throat to alert his brother of his presence.

Grayson looked up and beamed, bouncing up to flop down next to Damian. 

“What’s up, lil’ D?” Grayson asked, voice jovial even as he spared a glance at his screen.

“Tt. Grayson, I must… request your assistance.”

“Anything for you, lil’ D!” Grayson leaned over and rustled Damian’s hair. Damian, annoyed, fixed his hair and leaned away.

“I do not… I do not understand your recent… Preoccupation. It seems the family has decided, rather unanimously, that we will be gaining a new member. I do not understand why we must lower our standards!” He huffed, crossing his arms.

Grayson’s eyes softened. “Oh, lil’ D. It’s alright, you’re new, we should’ve known this would be confusing…” He looked away, staring out the window for a second, letting out a little sigh. 

“I’m not really sure how to explain it, but sometimes, sometimes people, especially people like us, get… passionate. Dinah likes to explain it away as the way we… deal with the constant loss, the uncertainty. Vigilantes don’t ever do anything in halves, afterall.”

“But why, but why them? They have nothing to add to our family, Grayson! They cannot fight, they are not trained, they have no extraordinary skills!” Damian huffed.

“Well, it doesn’t always make sense, Damian, and it doesn’t need to. Sometimes, sometimes people just… click, it doesn’t always have to make logical sense. I think if you got to know them, maybe you’d understand it a bit better.”

Grayson smiled, looking back at Damian. Damian looked away, blushing. He didn’t like not getting something; it made him feel vulnerable, weak, like he was missing out on something everyone else just seemed to get.

“And this is, this is… typical, for vigilantes such as our family?” He asked, voice quiet with mortification. Grayson smiled softly.

“Of course, Lil’ D. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate, and there’s no way we’re gonna let someone else get hurt. I mean, just think about it; do you think they could defend themselves?” 

Damian shook his head.

“And there’s no way they’ll be able to defend themselves. As vigilantes, especially in Gotham, we see the truth, we see how nasty the world can truly be. Most civilians just don’t get it. So, I think we can be forgiven for being a little intense, right?” He laughed, elbowing Damian gently.

“I mean, just think about Jon getting hurt.” 

Damian scowled. “I would not allow it. It would never happen.” He said, certainty clear in his voice.

Grayson snorted. “I know, Lil’ D. I’m just using him as an example; now take those feelings, and imagine if Jon couldn’t defend himself. “

“I-I do not know what I would do.”

“And that’s okay, you’ll get it eventually, okay? It’s hard to come to terms with, at first.”

“I still do not understand why you have chosen such an unworthy target for your affections, but I will… try. To understand.” Damian looked down, face tinged slightly red in embarrassment. 

Grayson ruffled his hair again, and peeked at his screen. “Maybe ask Cass to take you, or Jason? I have a shift in a little while. I’m sure they’d be willing to help you, Damian. It’s okay to have questions, to not get it. It’ll click eventually.”

So, Damian did.

While embarrassing, the idea of not getting something that was clearly of high importance to his family rankled in his chest. So, he approached Cain and asked for her help.

She was in her studio, as she normally was at noon on the weekends, working on a new routine. Damian paused in the door, waiting for her to finish up. No matter how many times he saw her, especially during her performances, he was always surprised by just how graceful the young woman managed to be.

It was normal for his family to move with a lithe grace, especially Grayson, who seemed to move so fluidly he lacked a skeletal structure, couldn’t compete with the natural poise Cain held herself with.

She finished up her routine with a flourish, then rose to her feet with a sigh. She floated over to her water bottle and took a sip, before turning around to face Damian. She smiled gently, eyes crinkling at the corners, her slightly damp choppy black hair framing her face perfectly.

“Little brother,” she said, delight clear in her voice. 

“Cain,” Damian greeted, nodding his head and moving into the room.

Cain sank to the floor, back against the mirrored wall, and patted the wooden floor next to her. 

“Sit,” she said.

He did. There was no refusing Cain, after all.

“You seem… confused.” She glanced over at him, taking another small sip.

“Yes. I do not… Understand the new obsession you have all taken with that Civilian.”

Cain nodded. “Yes.”

“Grayson explained the general feelings of protectiveness, but was unable to elaborate; why them?” Damian crinkled his face, nose scrunching.

Cain laughed. “Stubborn, not seeing.” She poked his forehead, startling him. He scowled further, rubbing the spot. It didn’t really hurt, but he was not about to let her get away with poking him like a child!

She snickered at his bewildered expression. 

“It is hard to explain… Instinct.” She hummed, looking away in contemplation.

“Innocence. They do not know… the violence, the heartache… they are kind.”

So it was about the contrast, Damian concluded. The difference between a trained vigilante and a weakling.

“They cannot… protect self. Need help. Like baby.” She continued, sighing and leaning a hand against her cheek, propped against her knees.

“Like… Like Titus, or Alfred the cat. Need looking after.”

Just like that, it clicked.

You were utterly defenseless. Completely alone, with no one to prevent you from being hurt, or worse, killed. You were like a young kitten, unable to open their eyes to see their savior, like the one Damian had fostered.

A warmth bloomed in his chest. You would be like the kitten, and he would protect your innocence, no matter the cost.

Cass smiled widely, scrunching her nose. 

Just like that, Damian was clamoring to get involved. He could not wait until you were home, and he would be able to ensure your safety, keeping you from losing that childlike innocence, that thin film over your eyes preventing you from seeing the true danger.

It was Drake who had the brilliant idea to place Damian in the field; Damian, for all of his sword-related faults, was still young, after all. Someone as naive as you would be sure to enjoy looking after such a cute child, not being able to see who was truly caring for who.

While both Grayson and Todd had failed to make your acquaintance, it seemed you were too aware of stranger danger to fully fall for the ruse, he knew Cain had made inroads as a member of your book club. Surely, having a young brother by her side would only make it easier to get closer to you.

And just like that, the trap was set, and Damian was ready to act.

The next week, your book club would be meeting to discuss the selected offerings. You had wisely offered up Pride and Prejudice. Damian could still hear the muffled curses Todd had let out; you had no clue the extent to which you had so thoroughly endeared yourself to him, just by picking an Austen novel. Damian could not help but be amused, Todd was easy to enthrall despite his tough exterior; it was almost comical. 

Cain had brought him with, dressed in clothes he was told were appropriate for his age (Grayson had laughed and forced him to stand for pictures. He would secure his revenge, and make sure to talk badly about him. He would be victorious in the so-called prank war, after all, and you would stand at his side, unscathed.).

You opened the door, smiling and bringing Cain in for a hug. Even from his position, he could see Cain melt into the hug, smiling and bringing an arm up to pat your back gently.

“Hello,” she sighed as you pulled back, looking her over.

“Oh, Hello!” you said, looking down at Damian. 

He sighed internally. It would take everything he had, but the thoughts of showing you Bat-Cow would get him through the evening. He smiled brightly, artificially pitching his voice up slightly.

“Hi!” He said, stepping forward and shaking your hand with vigor. “I’m Cass’s brother, Damian!”

“Oh, so you have a brother?” You said, smiling even brighter. It almost hurt Damian’s face in sympathy, how widely you were able to smile. Was it due to your innocence?

You ushered the two of them inside.

“Yes, Our father forgot Damian would be home tonight, and did not arrange for a babysitter.”

“Oh, that’s more than alright! Here, are you hungry, kiddo? I’ll make you something to snack on while the book club gets going! Cass, you can take a seat if you want.”

Damian watched as you puttered around the kitchen, enamored with the way you seemed completely oblivious to the danger present in your home. You were lucky he was there to protect you; what if Cass hadn’t been a kind person? You would’ve had no idea you were letting a threat into your house, and into your life! Luckily for you, Cass would never harm a hair on your head, let alone let you get hurt.

“Milk okay for the Mac n’ cheese, kiddo?” You asked, not bothering to turn around as you pulled down a box.

He informed you he was vegan.

You took it in stride, pulling out some soy milk. He was almost surprised you would have some, but your clear kindness would never allow you to potentially offend a guest. Damian could feel a bout of cuteness aggression overtaking him, and he clenched his fists hard enough to draw blood under the lip of the counter.

The rest of the night passed without incident, though you seemed particularly interested in Damian’s contributions to the conversation about Austen’s works. He could not help but be satisfied at the impression he had made; it was not his fault the majority of the people you surrounded with could not understand basic literary analysis, after all.

Every week for the next few months, Damian would tag along to book club; he eventually managed to become your favorite conversational partner, though Cain was a close second, as you slowly began to ignore the others in the club. It was better this way, after all; they could not protect you.

However, Damian soon became frustrated by the lack of progress. They were talking to you regularly, yes, but he wanted you safe at home! He could tell the others were building in frustration as well, and yet the consensus remained; they would need to take more time.

So, he approached Todd.

And Todd agreed.

The plan was set.

Damian waited breathlessly in the alley by your workplace. It would be easy, after all, to get you to follow him down into the dark.

The second he saw you, he took a few wide steps back, and began to scream.

“Help!” He shouted, crumpling to the floor. He let his voice take on a tinge of desperation, pitching slightly higher to exaggerate his innocence and hopefully trigger your panic so you would approach without a second thought.

It worked, and your pounding footsteps soon approached.

“Hello?!” You called, frantically dropping to your knees in front of his crumpled form.

“D-Damian?” You cried, searching desperately for the injury.

Behind you, he could see Todd approach, syringe in hand. 

He let out a groan and rolled over, head in your lap. As you ran your hands over his back, looking for something, he surreptitiously grabbed your waist, hoping to prevent you from running, just in case.

Finally, Todd was in range. He stuck the syringe into your neck without a second thought, and you were out like a light.

Damian was just glad your hand had landed in his hair.

[lees-chaotic-brain]

How would jjk men react to reader being pregnant with quadruplets?

Feat. Gojo, Yuta, Inumaki, Nanami, Megumi, Itadori (all characters are aged up)

Note: I did headcanons for this request because there were so many characters I wanted to include, and it would get a little boring to write the same scenario out in a full fledged fic like seven times. However, if there are one or two that you want me to turn into proper fics lmk!! I had to do research on pregnancy for this bc it's been awhile since my high school health class

CW: pregnancy, implied thoughts of abortion ig, mentions of fear regarding labor, AFAB reader bc, yk, pregnancy, one singular swear word

Word Count: 1.2k

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Gojo

I feel like Gojo would think you were joking at first, and wouldn’t believe you until you got frustrated and he finally realized you were being for real. He would have mixed emotions. On one hand, he was excited to have a big family and a house full of laughter and love. On the other hand, he was afraid, because more babies meant more defenseless mini-people for him to protect.

He had only known that he was going to be a father of quadruplets a few minutes ago, but he already knew that it would destroy him if he ever lost one of them. That he would gladly give his life for them. And then there was the matter of you. He already knew that childbirth was difficult for women, but quadruplets?? Childbirth was something that even he couldn’t protect you from and that terrified him. 

After a serious discussion in which he made sure you were okay with the added risks and you continuously reassured him that this was what you wanted, he settled down and began imagining a future for your family. Until he realized that he would have to share your love with four little gremlins who would surely take after their clingy father. Then it suddenly seemed less appealing.

Yuta

Baby boy would be shooketh. Because he’s sorry please don’t be mad at him and oh you’re not mad at him and the two of you are having quadruplets well technically you are but he’s the dad and oh god what if he’s not good at being a dad and-

You would have to calm him down as he fell into a downward spiral. Once you had properly reassured him, and he had fully absorbed the information he was ecstatic. He has always wanted a big family, and together the two of you were making that dream come true. Cuddling up to you he would thank you for loving him and gifting him with the many kids he had always dreamed of having.

He for sure would be the type to rub your stomach and whisper sweet nothings to the growing babies in your womb, telling them how much daddy loves them and how excited he is to meet them.

He would also start baby-proofing every square inch of your house before you had even started your second trimester.

Inumaki

He would be in shock. Because he put- wait how many??? babies in you. There was no way he heard you right. There was no way that you were pregnant with quadruplets. Because, wait, he didn't sign up for this! Yeah, he wanted tons of kids, but four babies at a time was a lot. And the strain it would have on your body was concerning as well. 

After he stopped opening and closing his mouth as he gaped at you, he managed to organize his thoughts. First he wanted to make sure you even wanted that many kids because, well, it wouldn’t be easy to give birth to or take care of that many. Once you had reassured him that you were, in fact, sure that you wanted to go through with the pregnancy and that you were prepared for whatever the future held for your not-so-little family he took a moment to process his own emotions.

At first he was conflicted. Sure he was excited, but he held his own private reservations. What if something went wrong during labor? What if he wasn’t cut out to be the parent of one kid, let alone four. But as the months sped by and your stomach grew, the anticipation grew, until one day he let go of any and all trepidation and allowed himself to be optimistic.

He also bought tons of matching onesies for the whole family.

Nanami

Ever the responsible adult and caring husband, first he sat you down and had a serious discussion about the pros and cons of having quadruplets, and whether or not the risks were worth it. Deep down he was thrilled, but he wanted to make sure the two of you were on the same page and understood what continuing meant.

Once the two of you had established you were going to see this through, and it was something the two of you wanted his planning would begin. First came the research. He thoroughly educated himself on everything regarding pregnancy, learning everything he needed to do to ensure your comfort and the healthy birth of his children.

Expect a special diet plan that fulfills the needs of you and your unborn children in the healthiest way possible, essential oil massages, weekly check-ups starting your second trimester, vitamin gummies and more.

He also would begin saving up because raising four children would be expensive. Would for sure have a whole financial plan set up and college savings accounts set up for each of his children within a week of his learning.

Megumi

Honestly, he wouldn’t have super strong feelings about it. He wanted to be a dad, but he didn’t care if it was one, four, or one hundred. He just wanted to have kids with you, and beyond that as long as you were happy he was too. 

So when you told him, his only response was asking you what you thought about it. When you told him you were excited, he was excited too. He had wanted to build his own family for as long as he could remember, and you were helping him reach his dream. What more could he ask for? The only other thing that mattered to him was that his children had siblings. As a kid he had resented Tsumiki, but as an adult he couldn’t imagine the loneliness he would have experienced growing up without her. So yeah. If you were happy, and his children would have siblings so they would never have to walk through life alone, he was content.

There was nothing more he wanted in life than your love and a family with you.

Itadori

Kids!!! He had wanted a ton of kids, so this was perfect! You were happy with it, so even better! He sees it as a four-in-one deal, and is over the moon. His golden retriever personality becomes even worse when you’re pregnant. Like, this man is at your side 24/7.

Constantly following you around, looking at you with big pleading eyes as he begs to cuddle in bed with you so he can talk to your stomach.

Oh my god talking to your stomach. This man would talk to your stomach more than he talks to you. Asking what your kids want to be named. Telling your unborn babies about his day. That he loves them and can’t wait to meet them. Describes all the fun things the six of you are going to do once they’re born. Definitely tries cuddling your stomach because he ‘wants to know what it feels like to hold his children.’

Also is a little shit that constantly asks ‘are they coming yet? Why not??’

[delicatebarness]

winters widow | chapter x

Summary: The shock of the incident still haunts you as Lord James faces the consequences of his actions.

Warning: Mentions of previous Sexual Assault. Violence. Murder. Trauma and Revenge.

Word Count: 1599

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A/N: I know it's not Saturday but I wanted Lord James okay, deal with it. - Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as mine. - B

Winter’s Widow: @lanabuckybarnes | @sapphirebarnes | @sebastians-love | @mrsnikstan | @learisa | @railmesebstan | @mishkatelwarriorgoddess | @barnesxstan | @ghalouha | @mrsstuckyboo | @g-nobodycares-blog | @mishidrish | @melsunshine

Everything: @hallecarey1 | @pattiemac1 | @uhmellamoanna | @scraftsku35 | @ozwriterchick | @sapphirebarnes | @rach2602 | @thetorturedbuckydepartment

The gentle sound of water pouring into the bath was meant to be soothing, but today, it only heightened your fear. Two of your attentive and careful handmaidens began to move closer to you, their intentions clear. They were to help you out of your nightgown and into the warm water. Yet, the mere thought of being touched by anyone filled you with a deep, unshakeable dread. 

“Please, my lady, allow us to assist you,” one of the handmaidens said softly, her hands reaching for the string on your gown.

“No!” you cried out, your voice trembling. Stumbling back, your breath came in quick, shallow gasps. Their touch, gentle as it was, felt like an unbearable intrusion.

Alarmed, unsure of what to do, the handmaidens immediately stepped back. They exchanged worried looks before one quickly rushed out of the room. Her steps echoed down the hallway as she went to the council chamber.

Within the council chamber, Lord James was in deep discussion with the advisors, but he knew something was wrong the moment the handmaiden burst in, pale and out of breath. 

“My lord,” she panted, “Lady Romanoff… she needs–” 

Lord James did not wait for further explanation, nor for the handmaiden to finish her sentence before he pushed back his chair and rushed out the door within an instant. His long strides took him swiftly through the Reach’s corridors. Hurrying behind him, the handmaiden tried to keep up with him, concern still etched on her face. 

Reaching his chambers, Lord James could hear the muffled sound of your panic and refusal from within. He threw open the door and saw you, standing by the bath and clutching your nightgown tightly against your chest. Your eyes widened with fear. Standing helplessly nearby, the other handmaiden was unsure how to help. 

“Out, now,” Lord James commanded, his voice firm and authoritative. “Leave us.” 

Obeying immediately, the handmaidens bowed their heads and exited the chamber. Lord James closed the door behind them. He turned to you, his expression softening as he approached.

“My love,” he gently said, his voice instantly soothing your frayed nerves. “It’s just me now. You’re safe.” 

Tears streamed down your face as you looked up at him. “I can’t… I can’t James. I’m sorry, I just can’t.” 

His movements were slow and deliberate as he took a step closer. “You have no need to apologize, my love. You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he paused, his gaze flickering between you and the filled bath. “May I assist you instead? Only if you’re comfortable with that.” 

For a moment, you hesitated but the trust you held in your betrothed, outweighed your fear. Nodding, your voice strained barely above a whisper. “Yes… please.” 

Approaching you with the utmost care, Lord James’ hands were steady and reassuring. He gently undone the spring tying your nightgown together, his eyes never leaving yours. He silently asked for your consent with every move. While you nodded again, he began to wase the fabric over your shoulders and down your arms, his touch respectful and comforting. 

As the nightgown pooled at your feet, he wrapped you in a large, soft towel, keeping you covered and warm. He then guided you to the edge of the bath, trying to disguise the hitch in his breath as he caught sight of the bruising against your skin.

“Step in when you’re ready,” he said, his voice a calming presence in the room. 

Taking a deep breath, you found your strength in his steady gaze. You stepped into the warm water with his help, feeling the heat seep into your tense muscles. Lord James kept hold of the towel until you were fully submerged, he draped it over the side of the tub within easy reach. 

Lord James knelt beside the bath, his hands resting gently on the edge. “I’ll stay right here, my love.” 

You managed a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, James. For everything.” 

His eyes filled with love and understanding, returning the smile. “Always, my love. Always.”

The warmth of the water and Lord James’ presence began to ease the tension in your body. And, for the first time in days, you allowed yourself to relax. If only a little, knowing that you were truly safe with your lord, and wolf by your side. 

~

The bath and Lord James’ presence had calmed you significantly, and once you were settled, he left his chambers to allow you some privacy and to return to his duties. 

The council chambers were now empty except for Lord James and his father, Lord George of House Barnes, Lord of Winter’s Reach, and Warden of the North. The atmosphere was tense, the weight of unspoke words hung in the air as Lord Barnes stood with his arms crossed, stern but fair gaze fixed on his son. 

“James,” the seasoned commander began, his voice heavy with disapproval. “We must discuss what you have done.” 

Lord James’ turned to face his father, defiance, and weariness etched on his expression. “Father, I merely did what had to be done. He deserved to pay for what he did to her.” 

Lord Barnes shook his head, frustration etched in his brow. “Acting on vengeance might feel justified, but it jeopardizes our position and our plans to rebuild. We need stability now more than ever, you can not let your emotions cloud your judgment.” 

The White Wolf’s fists clenched at his sides, struggling to keep his anger contained. “Stability? That monster violated the woman I love and you talk about stability? I could not stand by and do nothing.” 

“You think I don’t understand your pain?” His father’s voice rose, his emotions breaking through his usual stoic facade. “I’ve led my men into battle, I have seen horrors that even you can not imagine. But, as leaders James, we must rise above our personal vendettas. Your actions could have far-reaching consequences.”  

Lord James took a deep breath, his resolve unwavering. “Consequences or not, I had to do it. For her. For the peace of mind that she can begin to heal knowing that man is gone.” 

Lord Barnes let out a heavy sigh, his anger giving way to a more somber tone. “And, what about your own peace of mind? This burden you’ve taken on– it will haunt you. Killing him might have satisfied you, but… it won’t erase what happened.” 

“I know, Father,” Lord James’ eyes softened, his thoughts drifting back to you. “I did not wish to rewrite our history. But, I’ll bear that burden if it means she can sleep a little easier. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her.” 

Stepping closer, Lord Barnes placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I may have let my emotions take over. But, I will not regret what I did.” Lord James spoke, breaking the short silence between father and son. 

“Nor should you,” Lord Barnes replied, his tone softening. “But, you must learn to find the balance between protecting those we love and leading our people with a clear head.” 

~

As the men delved into discussions about fortifications and resources, there was a sudden commotion erupting outside the council chambers. Sounds of muffled shouts and hurried footsteps grew louder, pulling their attention away from the map of the realm, and spread out plans. 

Lord Barnes frowned, looking toward the door. “What in the Seven Hells is going on out there?” 

As Lord James rose from his seat, the door burst open, and one of the guards, wide-eyed and breathless, stumbled into the room. “My lords, your attention is needed outside. Now.” 

Exchanging a puzzled glance with his father, the lords quickly followed the guard out of the chambers. The scene that greeted them as they stepped into the courtyard was one of awe and chaos.

The people of Winter’s Reach were gathered, fear and curiosity mixed on their faces. In the sky, circling above them, were not one, but three dragons. The creatures cast long shadows over the grounds, their scales reflecting in the sunlight.  

The first dragon held a majestic and commanding presence, landing with a thunderous thud. Its rider, Lady Natasha, dismounted with a practiced ease. Her braided, fiery hair flowed in the wind. Lady Natasha’s dragon, was the eldest and a leader, with its regal bearing and steely gaze exuded authority and strength. 

From the west, a fierce and valiant dragon descended. This dragon, ridden by Lady Yelena, was smaller in stature but no less intimidating. With an almost metallic gleam, the dragon's scales shimmered and its eyes burned with determination. Sliding off her dragon’s back with the grace of a seasoned warrior, Yelena’s expression was that of urgency. 

A much smaller and distinctly adorable dragon, followed closely and riderless. Its scales were a brilliant array of colors, and its eyes sparkled with a playful curiosity. Know for her endearing demeanor and fierce loyalty, Sunflower, Sunny for short, was your dragon. She landed softly, nuzzling Yelena affectionately as they approached the Reach. 

“Why are there suddenly three dragons in the North?” Lord James muttered to himself, bewildered by the appearance of the legendary beasts from the sky. His heart raced as he recognized their riders, shaken by the sudden appearance of your sisters. 

Striding forward, Lady Natasha’s eyes scanned the crowd until they landed on Lord James. With the confidence and authority of someone accustomed to command, Yelena followed as the dragons watched over them protectively. 

“James,” Natasha called out, her voice cut through the murmurs of the onlookers. “Where is she? Where is our sister?”

---

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[lemon-russ]

In my late night writing stupor I; 1) used the wrong dividers on the morty fic, I reopened it aghast to see that vague circle shape was not death gaurd but black legion. Please disregard. And 2) I forgot to tag @squishyowl for it 😭

I REGRET NOTHING ELSE

There were discussions. I now am expanding the Otome Cage Morty fic to have Lore because I'm insane and I GUESS it's getting me to write again so. We roll with it.

PREQUEL TO THIS || NEXT

Mortarion x F!Reader (Pt. 0)

CW: None for this specific thing. Many for the linked one. Many for the future of whatever this is.

TAGS (If you guys do not want to be tagged in whatever this is lmk 💀): @sleepyfan-blog @undeaddream @scriberye @lisikk @moodymisty (<- except you, you get no rest /j)

Your hoe hits the dirt with a soft thud, the thick warm air of sowing season opressing your lungs. You sigh and lean on the tool, wiping sweat from your brow as it threatens to sting your eyes.

Same as it ever is, you have been tilling the field for three days straight in preparation to sow the grains that will feed you another long winter. Your back aches, your arms tire, but worst of all is the humidity as your lungs try to wring oxygen from the air.

Your sister calls your name, and you ignore her a moment, catching your breath. But the next call is sharp and panicked. You turn to look for your sister, but are stopped dead when you see the sky.

Your life, until this moment, has been a cycle of doldrum. Wake up, feed the animals, feed yourself and your sister, do whatever seasonal chores were required of you. Today that was till and turn soil, sometimes it is irrigate the crops, sometimes harvest, maybe darn your garments or weave.

Nothing in your life so far could prepare your brain to process what it currently was desperately trying to parse into your synapses.

A… thing. A building? A construct of some sort, hangs in the hazy sky. Sat there like a cloud, but sharp and pointed and menacing. Whatever it is, it screams predator.

You fall backwards into the softened soil, primal fear gripping your heart. Everything you know screams “wrong, danger, flee” as smaller constructs fall away from the main one, like the large flying insects you chased off of growing season crops.

An alien noise, deep and bone rattling, approaches from the sky behind you. You scramble around to see another small construct coming right for your field, kicking up dirt and debris. You have to cover your ears to muffle the painful thudding sounds it makes.

It settles onto the ground, and mercifully it stops screaming. You wonder if it is hunting, should you run? Where is your sister? You need to find safety from these beasts-

The belly of the thing cracks open and falls to the soil, shaking the ground, and you freeze again.

Something human shaped, but wrong and hard and large, steps out with a heavy thud onto the ramp. It’s terrible face is partially made of metallic plates, with two cylinders that belch thick gasses as it breathes. It seems to be wearing clothes- you think you see human eyes under a hood- but you can’t begin to guess which parts are shell or exoskeleton and which are clothing.

It does have eyes, you realize as the cloudy green things lock onto you. Have you been staring this whole time? You need to run, your body screams, run, run, run-

It makes a noise that sounds like speech at you, and points. It’s… trying to communicate? It barks the clipped noise again and snaps its fingers at you.

Your baffled mind reels, overwhelmed by the onslaught of new information. You point at yourself.

“M- me….?” You squeak out to it.

It thuds across your field, heavy shelled body sinking into your freshly tilled dirt, ruining several days of effort, before coming to a stop in front of where you sit. It peels back its upper skin- Oh, it was a hood- to reveal shockingly human adjacent features. Shoulder length silver hair, pale and cloudy green eyes, and ashen white skin marred with cracks and scars.

It speaks at you again, the sound mechanical and muffled by its gaseous breath. The smell from its cylinders is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, acrid and sharp and foul, and you recoil from it as its attempt at speech spits the smoke at you.

The being- person?- hesitates, and sighs. To your horror, it hooks its thumbs under the metal plates of its face and pries them away, revealing a human-ish lower face. Its cheeks are gaunt, and its mouth cracked in a sickly way, but at least it is now human looking enough for your brain to process what you are talking to.

A man. Almost.

He starts speaking again, but is overcome with a coughing fit. He turns away, coughing a sickly rattling sound out, and instinctively you clamber to your feet and step towards him. Is the air foul to him? You’re sure this massive man, already a foot in the grave if you’d ever seen it, is about to keel over right in your field. He holds up a hand to stop you, and retches something vile into the dirt.

You grimace. Not because of the sick, you were plenty familiar with disease and the death rattle of a creature’s last breaths, the poor thing, but whatever he is producing actually sizzles when it hits the dirt, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to have to dig up the soil this man touches when he finally dies. That’s going to be a lot. He is REALLY big.

Surprisingly, he catches his breath, and surprising more, when he turns back to you, his pallor is slightly healthier. He takes a deep breath, rolls back his shoulders, and speaks again, much more clearly. Unfortunately, it is gibberish.

“I… don’t understand…” you say, shuffling on your feet.

He tilts his head as you speak, then nods. “Ah, you do not speak gothic here. That is fine, I think I know this language too.” He responds, his voice deep and raspy. “Tell me little peasant, who are your rulers?”

You frown. “I… rulers…?”

He rolls his eyes, “Yes, do you have that? Is there a person who makes the rules you all follow? Someone who runs your country or whatever you have here?” He says, gesturing around you.

“I…. no? We all just live our lives, farming mostly….” you say, starting to feel lightheaded. This shelled man came out of a flying beast and now is asking if you had, what, a parent?

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his scarred nose. “That makes things less convenient.” He grumbles.

Suddenly he is scruffing you by the back of your tunic, and you yelp in surprise. You hear your sister scream and run away, calling for the neighbors down the way. The massive man holds you up so you are face to face with him as you squirm and grab at the cold hard hand.

“I am here to bring this planet back to the rule of my Father, The Emperor of mankind. And you-” he stops to cough into his shoulder, “-Are going to tell me what I ask for without argument.” He said between wheezes.

You fight through the confusion and anarchy in your mind to think about the situation you are in as logically as possible. A giant man from the sky in a screaming beast, who speaks your tongue, wants to own your land- what is a planet- and has you grasped in one hand like a stray kitten. And apparently he intends to bring you along as he does whatever it is he is doing for his father, who, presumably, is another large and strange man who could crush you in his fist like a locust.

You could fight, scream, run. Hide until your sister returns with help, hope this man is too sickly to give chase for long. There is a side door to the root cellar, if you could get out of his hands in time maybe….

“Okay.” You squeak out.

He raises a brow. “Okay?” He asks.

You nod quickly. “Okay.”

A very, very faint smile cracks across his weathers face. “….Okay.”

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

As per usual, info under the cut <3

IM BACK BITCHES!!!

Alright, here's the design stuff:

I wanted to go for kind of a Lois Lane vibe, including the way she gets all the way up in business she should not be up in. At the same time I wanted to bring the super cutesy gothic lolita style in at least a little. So I ended up going with a poofy short jumpsuit with bows and teddy bears. I would love to make a specific thank you to @themooncallsyou for suggesting I look at the Moschino 2022 spring line for inspiration, it ended up having a very heavy impact on the final design.

I tried to lean into the investigative part of investigative reporter, so that's what the heavy coat is about. I thought adding that classic detective silhouette would be a nice final touch. Plus, I think Blondie likes the drama of the coat flying behind her as she's chasing down a lead. It makes her feel very cool.

Alright, so her original pet is a bear cub named Grizz but I have. Several problems with that. The main one is that it's not clear what the difference between Grizz and the actual sentient bears and her story is. There is never any differentiation between them. It's a Goofy-Pluto situation. Like it doesn't need to be explained, but the minute you start thinking about it too hard it gets weird real fast.

Anyways say hello to Honey the magpie!! Magpies are great mimics and lovers of shiny things, so I thought one would be a perfect fit for Blondie. She repeats bits of gossip and steals little trinkets and clues to help Blondie with whatever case she's on. Honey is where Blondie gets her infinite supply of bobby pins. Her scale is a little off, I don't think magpies are actually that big, but I still think she's cute so I'm not changing it now lol.

Now for character stuff:

Honestly I'm not really changing anything as much as I am exploring what's already there. I think Blondie has the potential to be really interesting, because she's unique within the class system of the school. She's kind of the inverse of Raven status-wise. Raven was born to royalty, but because her mom is the Evil Queen she's actually considered a commoner by society. Blondie was born to a wealthy commoner family, but her fear of rejection leads her to exaggerate the prestige of her lineage. Everyone sort of knows that she's not a Princess but she's so desperate to keep up the image of royalty that no one knows where she actually lands. Most of the royals assume her parents are Lord and Lady or Duke and Duchess or something. In reality they don't have any noble title, and Blondie is very insecure about that.

Blondie isn't so much ashamed of her family as she is terrified of exclusion and rejection. Her standing in society is the one major thing that makes her different from all the other royals, but she has major anxieties that she's always on thin ice. In her mind she's permanently one wrong step from total ostracization.

On a happier note, she does have a genuine passion for journalism! She considers her news blog/podcast practice for her future career. She starts out discussing school drama and gossip, but tries to stay a neutral third party. That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. As the story goes on she starts reporting on more political and social topics beyond the boundaries of the school (and therefore becomes one of Milton Grimms worst nightmares). She is really, really, really good at getting into shit people do not want her to get into. She's got her eyes on prize and good luck stopping her

[lucywritesagain]

My Silly Midgardian

꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈﹕Loki masterlist ꒰ ᐢ｡- ༝ -｡ᐢ ꒱ Navigation ﹕┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱

Please note that this story is a repost from my old blog @lucywrites02.

Summary: Loki’s friend/crush has the flu. Loki having no knowledge about midgardian diseases panics and tries his best to make her feel better.

Word count: 2.2k

You knew something was wrong the moment you’ve woken up. Trying to stretch your muscles a little bit you noticed how sore your body was. At first you blamed it on the training session you had with Natasha yesterday but realisation hit you as you started coughing uncontrollably. You felt incredibly warm. Way too warm for your liking. You looked at your face in the mirror and noticed the bags under your eyes. You groaned in frustration. A fracking flu? You were one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D had to offer. You have been working alongside THE Avengers for more than 2 years now, fighting aliens and terrorists and yet a simple flu defeated you. 

You splashed some water on your face and put your most comfortable clothes on. It was going to be a really long day after all. You wanted to crawl back under the covers but your tummy demanded breakfast. You weren't sure if food was what you needed right now. You didn’t want to upset your stomach after all but you also needed to eat something. After some thinking you decided on some plain toast and a cup of tea.

Walking into the kitchen you noticed Loki sitting at the table with a book in his hand. It was one of many you let him borrow to “become more familiar with midgardian culture”. He truly enjoyed some of them but would never admit that. You have seen him reading your favourite book more than once but decided to not make any comments about that. Upon noticing your arrival Loki put his book away and greeted you with a warm smile. 

“Good morning!” he said happily “How is my favourite midgardian doing!”

“She’s doing just fine, thank you,” you responded and pulled two slices of bread out of the bag. 

“I was wondering when you’ll wake up,” the god announced “I made you some tea, it’s still warm.” Your heart skipped a bit when he said he was waiting for you. The two of you talk about books Loki has read every morning and discuss them together. Loki didn’t want to tell you he had already read most of the books you have given him before in fear you would stop talking with him altogether. He was utterly smitten with you but he knew a woman like you would never be interested in him romantically. Several people had mistaken you two for a couple before and every time that happened you would immediately correct them and say you were just friends. The idea of you reciprocating his feelings sounded unrealistic to him. If he only knew you felt the same….

You gave him a tired smile and thanked for the tea. As the bread popped out the toaster you put it on your plate and sat down next to Loki. 

“I think there are some pancakes in the microwave if you want,” Loki stood up, wanting to give you some. “Romanoff made them before they head out.”

“Oh, no thank you! I’ll stick to the toasts today,” you reassured him and took a small bite of your food. “By the way where is everyone?” you asked upon noticing how quiet it was in the tower this morning. You knew Nat and Clint had a mission in Alaska because the redhead told you that during your training but you had no idea what happened with the rest of the team. 

“Thor left with Natasha and Barton, “ he explained” Tony is in Paris with Pepper. Captain and his squad are on a mission in Australia and Wanda joined them”

“So it’s just the two of us in here?”

“Banner is in his lab doing whatever he thinks will help him pass the time” Loki added

You winced in pain as you felt a throbbing in your head. You felt as if you took part in a marathon. Your muscles were aching and you were slightly dehydrated. Loki noticed your discomfort and turned to face you. 

“Are you ok?” he asked, concerned. The trickster only now noticed the bags under your eyes. He touched your hand and got even more worried when he felt how warm you were. 

“I’m great, Loki,” you announced and drank the rest of your tea.

“I’m not an expert but midgardians shouldn’t be so warm and-”

“Really, Loki I’m fine!” you said.

“You are not looking that fine to me.” he responded.

“Wow, rude. Not everyone can just wake up and look like a cover girl.” you tried to laugh but the constant throbbing in your head wouldn’t allow it. You stood up wanting to put your empty mug in the dishwasher. As you did that your vision went blank and the only sound you heard before passing out was the mug shattering on the floor

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You opened your eyes and yawned loudly. You were laying down on the couch with a warm blanket over your body. You tried to sit up but your muscles were too sore to allow any movement. Realising how drenched in sweat your clothes were you groaned.  You started to wonder how you got there when you noticed Loki with a glass of water and a sandwich.

“Norns! You are finally awake,” he said and put them down on the small coffee table. Loki quickly walked to you and kneeled. His hand gently touched your forehead and tucked your hair behind your ear. “You fainted, darling,” he announced and started stocking your cheek. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s really nothing bad, Loki,” you tried to reassure him but the god didn’t believe you. You wanted to explain to him that it was just a flu but you started coughing uncontrollably which made the trickster panic even more. He helped you sit up and gently caressed your back. 

“I’m calling Banner,” Loki said but you stopped him before he could do anything else.

“Seriously, Loki, I will be fine.” you hugged the covers even tighter to your body that was already drenched in sweat. “It’s just a flu.” Loki looked at you as if you were crazy.

“Just a-.... Y/N, you fainted!” you knew Loki cared for you but now he was definitely overreacting. “If I didn’t catch you you would hurt yourself!” you noticed the worry in his eyes. It looked like he was on the verge of tears but you blamed your brain for sending you such images. You felt something weird in your stomach and quickly kicked the blanket off of you. You stood up and ran out of the living room, Loki was right behind you. You opened the door to the bathroom. When the trickster entered the room you were  kneeling on the cold tales as you emptied your stomach. 

“Hey, it’s ok, everything’s all right,” Loki held your hair in right hand while his left one was on your back. “JARVIS! Call Banner and tell him to immediately come to my room!” you would argue with him but you didn’t have any energy left. “Can you stand up?” you nodded and flushed the toilet. Trying to take a step forward you winced in pain because your muscles were still too sore. 

Seeing your struggle Loki picked you up in wedding style and carried you to his room. You tried to protest but didn’t have the energy to do so. Instead you put your hands around his neck as your head rested on his shoulder. As he walked into the elevator and pushed the bottom to his floor he felt you shiver and hugged you closer to his body. Loki had no idea what was happening to you. Was it something you caught during the last mission? Is it deadly? Will you be ok? He was seriously panicking now but as long as he was able to feel your breathing on his neck it was ok.

“You’re going to be ok, my love” he whispered, gently kissing your head.

The elevator stopped and Loki quickly walked into the direction of  his room. He opened the door and carefully laid you on his bed. 

“Bruce should be here soon,” Loki announced “Is there something you need? Water? Something to eat? Another blanket? “ if you weren’t feeling like shit at that moment you would kiss for the way he was acting  “Or maybe not, you are already too warm, another blanket would just make it worse.” Loki was mumbling to himself and  it wasn the most adorable thing you have ever seen.

“One blanket would be just fine” you smiled at him softly “But if you could bring me some clean clothes I would be grateful. Those are drenched in sweat,” you asked shily, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“Of course! That’s no problem” he replied quickly and opened his closet. “Do you need some pants or just a shirt?”

“Pants, too, please” you were sleepy again and ready to drift off any moment now “I mean, if it’s not a problem. I promise I will wash them afterwards”  A few seconds later Loki came back with a pair of black sweatpants and a green sweater.

“The pants are too big for you but I hope that won’t be a problem,” he gave them to you with a soft smile. You tried to stand up and go to the bathroom but winced in pain again. Loki must have figured out what was wrong and insisted that you stay in the bed. He said he would go to the bathroom and give you some privacy and that you should tell him when you’re decent again. 

“Such a gentleman,” you joked

“Everything for you, my lady” he winked at you and left to the bathroom

This man will be the death of you sooner or later.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After you put the clothes on you awkwardly called for him. Loki came back and ogled your body. You were significantly smaller than him but now that you were wearing his, way too big, clothes you look tiny. The god thought you looked adorable wearing his clothes, especially if they were green. He blushed when he realised what he was thinking about. The two of you were still looking at each other in silence until a knock on the door pulled you both out of that trance. Loki opened them and pulled Bruce inside. 

“What took you so long???” Loki asked, irritated. You wanted to greet Bruce but because your eyes were closing involuntary you decided to rest for a while.

“I was at the store!” Banner defended himself “I just came back and then JARVIS told me you wanted me to come ASAP” Normally the trickster would argue with him more but you were his number one priority right now. The scientist asked what was so important and Loki pointed at your exhausted body laying on his bed and explained what happened. 

“So let me get this straight,” Bruce said confused “You panicked and called ME because she’s sick”

“Yes! You are a doctor, you should help her!” Loki was getting more anxious with every passing second.

“I have some PHDs but that’s not the same” Banner explained

“But you are a midgardian, right?” the god continued “You know what’s happening to her so please help her!” the trickster begged. The scientist was taken aback by his words. It wasn’t a secret that Loki had feelings for you. Everyone in the tower could see it. Except you, of course. But no one would ever expect Loki to beg someone for help. You really meant a lot to him.

“Ok, I see what I can do” Banned patted his shoulder and headed towards you. He gently shook your body and you woke up again. “I heard you weren’t feeling well” you nodded your head as your friend touched your forehead.  “You have an awful fever. Loki, could you bring me a wet towel, please?” Bruce didn’t even blink and Loki was already in the bathroom. The scientist turned to you again “Do you need some pills? I have some painkillers in my room if you want”  you nodded and gave him a grateful smile. Loki came back with a wet towel and handed it to Banner. He then put it on your forehead and stood up. “I’m going to my room to get her some medicine. Give her some water and keep an eye on her. I will be right back”

And with that Bruce left the room. 

Loki sat at the edge of the bed right next to you and gently caressed your cheek. You put your hand on top of his and smiled. Loki’s heart was beating like crazy now. Did you have feelings for him or was it just because you were ill? He wished it was the first one. He could keep staring at your beautiful face for eternity if you allowed him. 

A few moments later Bruce came back with the painkiller he promised you. Loki handed you a glass of water and you swallowed the pill. 

“If you need anything else just call me” Banner said to Loki “Get better soon, Y/N!” you waved at him and the scientist was gone again.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” the god asked

“Could you read something for me?” you hugged the pillow and moved closer to him “Please?” you added

“Anything for you, my love” he took a book from his nightstand and leaned on the wall. You raised the blanket silently inviting him to lay with you. The gesture made Loki’s heart flutter. He got under the covers, one hand was holding the book and another one was hugging you close to his body, You took the wet towel off of your head and threw it on the floor where your old clothes were. You put your head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. You noticed it was faster than it’s supposed to be but asked no questions. Asgardians were different from humans, right? You closed your eyes as Loki was reading but didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. You could listen to his voice forever. 

The trickster was a few chapters in when he noticed your closed eyes. Assuming you were asleep he closed the book and put it away. He decided that watching you was far more interesting than any story he could read. Not hearing his voice anymore you opened your eyes to check on him. Your eyes met with his and you could have sworn he was blushing. You smiled and he did the same. It was now or never, Loki thought. He leaned in slowly and rested his hands on your waist. You figured out what he was planning and you pushed his lips away with your index finger. 

“I must have misunderstood the situation” Loki took his hand off your waist and awkwardly cleaned his throat. He looked hurt, heartbroken even “Please forgive me”

“No Loki, it’s-” you started “you didn’t misunderstand anything. I’m sick and I don’t want YOU to be sick, too” you explained and gently stroked his cheek. 

“My silly midgardian,” Loki laughed and hugged you “I’m immune to your diseases so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t get sick”

“Well, if that’s the case-” you grinned and put your lips on his. Loki didn’t waste any more time and immediately reciprocated the kiss which quickly went from soft and gentle to passionate and rough

“That was way better than I have imagined” Loki whispered after you two broke the kiss to be able to breathe again. 

“What else did you imagine?” you gave him one more kiss and laid your head in the crook of his neck.

“I imagined going on a date with you” he interfered  his fingers with yours and continued “I imagined us holding hands whilst walking together. I imagined us falling asleep and then waking up together”  you kissed his neck and looked into his eyes.

“I’m feeling sleepy again so your last dream will probably come true” you said, smirking

“In my imagination we have fallen asleep after doing something different than reading but I guess this is ok, too” he added and you playfully smacked his chest. He laid on his side to be face to face with you and put one of your legs around his waist. You put your hands around his body and hummed in satisfaction. “You, my love, are the most beautiful and mesmerizing woman I have ever met” he kissed your head one more time and you both drifted off to sleep.

[soft-pine]

i believe it's what you would call a tragedy 

hello tomorrow is november 19th. and i need to reserve that day for fix-its and talking about how dean is extremely, aggressively, flamboyantly alive.

but i do want to talk about the supernatural finale. content notes for discussion of Dean's death and mentions of abuse and sexual assault.

i've rewatched 15.20 as much as some of my very favorite episodes of supernatural. it compels me. it enrages me. it astounds me. every fiber of my being screams that it cannot possibly be that stupid, that hollow, that cruel. and every time it is - and more.

i watch it in part because i think somewhere i truly, truly believe that this time it will be different. that this time i will have loved dean enough to save him. that if do good enough analysis that shows, really shows, how sad, how wrong it is, that somehow it will re-form itself. maybe not into something good. but i can imagine something... different.

instead, every time i watch i'm hit with more and more little moments, little details, little callbacks or parallels or revelations that crack me open so i always have this hole inside of me where 15.20 sits and rots the flesh around it.

but here i go wanting to unpack it again. maybe cause of the sisyphean reasons above. maybe for the same reasons i want to unpack every aspect of dean's relationship with john. maybe because they are actually inextricably linked. dean and john and 1.20 and 15.20.

i started watching supernatural on may 23rd, 2021, knowing full well dean was going to die.

so i looked at his beautiful doe eyes in s1 and thought "they are going to kill you" and ached. i looked at his private, chaotic grief in s2 and thought "they are going to kill you." i looked at his self-sacrifice and self-worth in s3 and thought "they are going to kill you." i watched him stumble on resurrected bambi legs in s4 and thought "they are going to kill you." i watched his protective defiance in s5 and thought "they are going to kill you." i saw his patience, hope, and worry in s6 and thought "they are going to kill you." i saw his exhausted, brittle husk in s7 and thought "they are going to kill you." i marveled at the mix of resignation and rawness in s8 and thought "they are going to kill you." i choked on the self-loathing in s9, thinking "they are going to kill you." in s10 i heard dean say both that he didn't want to die and that he knew he'd have to and thought "they are going to kill you." s11, beloved s11, that opens with some of the most down-to-earth moments and ends in some of the most cosmic. dean saves the world by talking and listening and explaining how to forgive and i thought "they are going to kill you." in s12, i watched him struggle as his mother unwittingly repeated the patterns of his father and struggle to bite his tongue and i thought "they are going to kill you." i watched the s13 speedrun of all his worst fears and thought "they are going to kill you." s14 again mixes the visceral and the cosmic. dean strips michael's clothes off his back. he welds himself a magic coffin. he talks about reading mommy blogs and i listened and thought "they are going to kill you." in s15 i watched him proved right about everything he'd ever said about god and wanting to be free. i watched him win. and i thought "they are going to kill you. now."

i knew it was coming all along and i thought i would be ready for it. instead, i sobbed in the car on the way to work for two weeks. i sometimes still do. you will always end up here.

i think in every supernatural circle that's worth even a moment of my time, 15.20 is considered a tragedy (or not considered at all). and so much has been said already. so i'm not going to rehash that killing a character who constantly said he wanted out of the life of violence he was forced into is a tragedy. i'm not going to belabor the twisted knife of killing someone who was so frequently suicidal. i'm not going to go on about how the last time cas was dead dean didn't feel like there was anything to live for and was fine suicidally throwing his life away on a routine hunt and the chance he could save a couple trapped ghosts. i'm not going to wax about the job application. i'm not going to unravel - at length - that they had to kill dean because he loved cas and they couldn't let him live long enough to say it. and though i'm not a chuck won truther, i would never pretend i don't see the math.

but i think one of the issues with having watched the finale so many times, is i notice all the little things. there is so much extra-episodic context that makes 15.20 a godawful, crushing, devastating mess. but i'm always torn over which kills me more because some of the intra-episode parallels and details feel so specifically, acutely cruel.

for example, why would they have dean say, "but if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" and then literally kill him 10 minutes later?

why is there a scene emphasizing the mercy of a quick death compared to the pain and anguish of long-drawn out suffering...

DEAN: You see, this... This is quick. It's clean. You know, no muss, no fuss. You blink, and you're dead. SAM: But a blade this small... I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off, and you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon, every inch. It could take hours.

if we about about to watch dean bleed out for 8 minutes?

why did sam pie him??

why did they have dean say "you never took any of dad's crap" and then four minutes later send him to "heaven" just down the street from john?

speaking of, let's look at dean's face upon hearing his dad's "got a place over yonder" versus after "well, cas helped."

and that brings us to the other themes the finale. because while the intra-episode moments feel cruel and pointed, it is the way it ties off the rest of the show that makes it a tragedy.

i've said before that it's eerie how well dean's speech in faith would fit into the finale. well, let's look at some other lines that show dean never thought he deserved anything different than dying on some random hunt.

1.12 faith

Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw.

2.04 children shouldn't play with dead things

I never should've come back, Sam. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. 

2.22 all hell breaks loose part 2

I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I--I--It's like my life could mean something.

5.17 99 problems

Look, I have no illusions, okay? I know the life that I live, I know how that’s gonna end for me. Whatever. I’m okay with that. 

6.06 you can't handle the truth

It's the gig. You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood. Half the time, you're about to die. Like right now.

8.14 trial and error

I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.

10.07 girls girls girls

Now, the truth is... I'm past saving. I know how my story ends. It's at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun.

10.16 paint it black

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it.

15.20 carry on

You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?

1.12 faith, once again

that is his attitude for so long. but notice the gap between season 10 and season 15? i'm not at all saying he full abandoned the attitude that all he was good for was dying on a hunt. but in 10.17 he also says, "there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time." in 13.23 he's talking about retiring if he knows the world is safe. in 14.13, he says "I have a family." he says, "I'm good with who I am."

in 15.18, when he thinks he's going to lose a huge part of that family, he says "She's gonna get through that door. And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me." and although cas did eventually end up in heaven as well, they very much did kill cas and then kill dean.

and if in the finale after dean dies, the way they showed sam grieving dean was blearily shutting off his alarm at 8 and sleepily getting out of a messy bed and sadly petting miracle, then why.... why did the episode open with dean doing the exact same things if not to show he was grieving.

it reminds me of another thing that happens in canton ohio in november: elliott ness telling dean, "Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, ya nancy. Tell me, are all hunters as soft as you in the future?" and then he continues...

this is maybe one of the smaller little connective gut punches. but there are so many of those.

like why was dean forced to kill lee by impaling him against a wooden pilar if 13 episodes later...

like why is the episode called "carry on"?

like remembering 15.10 when dean says, "Yeah, it’s just how I wanted to die – with a freakin audience."

like when you look at the supernatural wiki transcripts page, it looks like this:

like the parallels between the hunt in faith that dean almost dies on and the hunt in 15.20

like despite all the times he said he knew this was coming, the moment when dean turns away from sam and says, "Well, I did not think this would be the day."

like even if he was trying to be a little silly, we know how he described the funeral he imagined for himself in 11.23. and even in 15.20 there were so many people still alive who loved him and yet only one person is there to grieve him...

like this exchange from 1.20

JOHN: Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life. DEAN: Well. what the hell do we do now? JOHN: You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what.

of course john means for dean to go get dead man's blood so he can watch dean play bait while he waits with sam and tipped crossbow bolts. of course he doesn't mean a vampire will get your scent and you're dead so go pick out a coffin. he doesn't mean that; it's only that getting the colt to avenge mary is more important to him than the risk that a vampire might pick up their scent and, oh let's say, one day track them down and kill them.

like the theme of vampires being specifically sexually predatory toward dean (kate kissing him in 1.20, boris assaulting him in 6.05, starr playing with him in 10.08 - not to mention the framing of gordon in 3.07 and desmond in 8.09 drinking his blood). the way jenny stalks over him as he's pinned to the ground in 15.20 doesn't break from this pattern at all. and i hate the layering of violences. i hate that this is who kills him.

like some of dean's first words in the pilot being "It's okay, Sammy." and some of his last being, "tell me that it's okay." over. and over.

like maybe i could handle it being a tragedy if it felt like it was meant to land that way (i still wouldn't be able to, for the record)

like that he wanted rice crispy treats for his next birthday.

like that chuck, even human powerless chuck, outlived him.

like that john lived longer than him too.

and so of course we end up here. with john. i do think we must concede that dean dying on one of john's unfinished hunts - in fact on two unfinished hunts - could not be more cruel. when you can defeat god and escape and his plan for your life but not your own father...

and the thing about the first unfinished hunt with the masked vampires is that john was working it in 1986. the vampires, "target[ed] families that are living outside of town, that are isolated, kids usually between the ages of 5 and 10." the thing is in 1986, dean was 7. was that the first time john used dean as bait, i don't know. but it could have easily been is the thing.

1.20 sets up 15.20 in so many ways. the episode where vampires are introduced. where jenny (though unnamed) is introduced. the episode where you see exactly what dean meant about sam "never taking any of dad's crap." meanwhile in 1.21, when dean starts to push back against john, john says he's "not too crazy about this new tone."

in 1.20 john sets dean up to be bait while he and sam wait in the shadows. in 15.20 dean needles and distracts jenny while he waits for sam to pick up his machete. it recalls 1.20: "you know what to do." it recalls 1.02: "you thinkin what i'm thinkin." like the most common footpath worn into old stone stairs.

the last main theme i want to talk about is parentification. i know i'm not the only one who felt betrayed by sam sorrowful acceptance of dean's death. there's grief, yes. but there's something so profoundly unsettling about basically back-to-back watching dean trying to resign himself to his impending death. and in 15.18, cas' response to that being that he won't let dean die. meanwhile in 15.20, sam's response is to -

but then it clicked for me.

it's because on some deep level, beginning to some extent when sam was less than a year old, dean became in a lot of ways, his parent. and parents are supposed to die before you, right? so sam can be sad. he can grieve. but it's not a grief at the injustice of it - not grief at dean's unfinished life or his early death. sam always knew he would outlive dean.

because if this is not setting in stone the parentification that happened to dean, then why is sam telling dean "you can go now" paralleled only a few minutes later with dean jr later saying the same to sam?

and if not to swing the parentification as a cudgel against my knees, why is every speech dean makes before he thinks he's going to die focused on making sure sam's going to be okay. right up until the very end.

3.16 no rest for the wicked

Keep fighting. Take care of my wheels. Sam, remember what Dad taught you... okay? And remember what I taught you.

9.23 do you believe in miracles

Sam. Hold up. Hold up. I got to say something to you. I'm proud of us.

11.23 alpha and omega

Listen, if—when—when this works, Sam—he's gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

14.12 prophet and loss

I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother to you.... I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit....

15.20 carry on

I'm fading pretty... I'm fading pretty quick, so... there's a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. Yeah, there he is. I'm so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I've always looked up to you. Man, when we were kids, you were so damn smar... smart. You never... You never took any of dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been...

1.12 faith, once again and again and always

DEAN: Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass. SAM: I don't think that's funny. DEAN: Oh, come on, it's a little funny.

i think about 27 year old dean lying in that hospital bed. and i think about 41 year old dean hanging on that beam in the barn and just thinking you know, he did it. looking at sam and being proud. cause dean knows enough about horror movies to see sam as the final girl. sam made it. dean was always gonna make sure he did. he understands it enough to know he's dying so sam doesn't have to. sam can go on and live a life and have his survivor credits montage and dean's like, yeah, this is how it's supposed to go.

dean knew it was never gonna be him.

AND THAT'S WHOLE GODDAMN REASON IT FUCKING SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

he should have gotten to outlive the god who tried to write his story and he should have gotten to outgrow always putting his life behind his brother's (and everyone else's) and he should have survived the deadly path his father forced him onto and he should have gotten to live a long and beautiful gay life in the world he loved so deeply.

and you should be able to watch goddamn supernatural without seeing him be declared dead in 1.06 and feeling the pit in your stomach and without watching 3.11 and going well that's just not funny and without watching fucking 5.07 and going well now that's the oldest he ever got.

anyway, this whole episode fucking destroys me. here's dean as the ten of swords.

and here's to us saving him. lady, he's tolstoy

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/olderthannetfic/768092913194385408

OP, you’ve got a touch of discourse brain, I fear. This is a pretty good illustration, though, of why these types of conversations immediately get out of hand. They’re not real people, so no one is assuming anything, they’re deciding. It’s like, literally impossible for them to be factually wrong, unless, idk, they put out a follow up spirk video where they go on to discuss their hard-line bedroom preferences. JK Rowling decides to do something on Twitter other than terf and settles once and for all if Harry Potter is a top or no. Whatever. And even then, canon has never stopped fanfic before.

Honestly, I fall into this way of speaking, too, when I talk about characterizations or meta I dislike or disagree with (but, like, always in private. At least I’m self aware.)

When you spend so long thinking about and forming a character in your head, elaborating on them out of the clay of canon, whether you do that labor yourself or outsource chunks of it to other fan-sculptors, you tend to get attached to the result. You know the /real/ blorbo. And when other people have opinions that are antithetical to your own, and are vehement about them, it ends up feeling like they’ve assumed somthing wrong, as opposed to having just extrapolated differently.

“Why would you assume xyz?” So often just means “why don’t you agree with me? I’m right!”

Same thing goes for “he wouldn’t fucking say that,” like, yeah, sometimes that’s true, imo. He wouldn’t, but, also, he just did! He did because some author willed it, if it’s too far flung from what you consider in-character for you to enjoy, don’t read!

--

[analog-kidd]

If Digimon Had Tumblr

🤖goin-ballistiac Follow

Hey guys so uh,, it turns out that @/donedevidan is an x-antiphobe, especially towards those who naturally carry it (screenshots under the cut)

Keep reading

😺guts-but-lion-x Follow

always hated that dude, guess I have another reason to hate him more

#dude was always a prick #and he loved making leomon dying jokes #those arent fucking funny #leomons dying arnt fucking funny

(103 notes)

👽s-n-a-t-c-h-e-d Follow

she evolved on my digi till I shinka

🥶️frostybirb Follow

bro wtf is this

👽s-n-a-t-c-h-e-d Follow

me trying to be funny😔

#i thought this webbed site would be easy #it isnt

(128 notes)

⚡️pulsingheart Follow

I think I'm going to evolve soon!

🦴️mean-and-green Follow

Runnermon is just Lighdramon but green and white

Go Bulkmon

🐺lycangaruthrope Follow

First of all, its Raidramon.

Second, whats wrong with Raidramon and Runnermon???

🦴️mean-and-green Follow

Oh of course the FRIENDSHIP WOLF DIGIMON is gonna vouch for the OTHER FRIENDSHIP WOLF DIGIMON

Bulkmon is so much more stronger than both digimon combined

🐺lycangaruthrope Follow

Strength isnt everything!!! But wrong tho, bulkmon is just some meaty digimon who is obviously compensating for something with those "muscles"

raidramon would def beat bulkmon anyways, so would runnermon

(374 notes)

💗extra-extra-big-dragon☑️☑️☑️ Follow

Windows 98 trying run me without exploding

(3,941 notes)

🌺hydrangeavenom Follow

Can digiblr stop flagging my selfies as nsfw????

I SWEAR I dont have a "hydrussy"

It's just a mouth!!!

(13,112 notes)

🥬️snivelingsni Follow

honestly I've been deathly afraid of spider digimon for most of my life and idk why

🌐not-a-spider-woman Follow

oh? why don't you come and meet with me so we discuss this fear further.

🥬️snivelingsni Follow

Sure! I really want to dig deep and see why I am so afraid of spiders

🥬️snivelingsni Follow

Good News! I now know why I'm afraid of spider digimon!

Bad News! I was almost eaten by a spider digimon today!

(691 notes)

❌alphaxxxxxx☑️☑️☑️ Follow

Fuck everyone on this hellsite

except you ouryumon

you're cool

🔥ouryuken Follow

THANKS FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#omg!!!! #he loves me!!!!!!

(56,884 notes)

👼the-top-angle☑️ Follow

Tamer forgot to take me to the toilet now there's shit on the floor

🕊piddy-piddo-pid Follow

Can't believe I serve this dude

#can i digivolve into an icedevimon #please yggdrasil

(44,529 notes)

🖤botablack Follow

just hatched😊

☯️silvertdao Follow

Arent you a little young for digiblr

🖤botablack Follow

kys

☯️silvertdao Follow

nvm you fit right in perfectly

(1,227 notes)

👿donedevidan Follow

I hope every Appmon gets deleted

Fuck them useless mfs

😇lady-of-the-light Follow

How tf are you still here??????

@digiblr-staff can you ban this bigot?????

😇lady-of-the-light Follow

Fuck it, I'm tagging all of the staff's personal blogs cause this is ridiculous

@extra-extra-big-dragon @alphaxxxxxx @duftycat @do-the-wyvern @omega-delete @pinkknightfab @thegallantdukedom @useurcranium @the-bara-hero @i-am-not-jc @ultra-vvv @goldenarmorv @sixlegsandabow

staff, ban this asshole

(102,333 notes)

[baldursgat3]

Well I was bored so I did what everyone does and wrote a 3.5k word fanfiction and made a brand new blog to post it on. So.

Anyway that thing that Gortash did to his parents was pretty fucked up right? Oh hey Ascended Astarion what are you doing here?

gn Tav, cw for some allusions to some non-con-ish stuff, haven't even done an ascended run yet but it's fine also spawn Tav

He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull.  "Astarion, please don't-" "You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?" "Yes, my love."

It was only supposed to be temporary - a punishment for having escaped yet again. It didn't matter that you had every intention of returning as soon as the sun began to poke over the horizon, you had still found yourself cornered in the streets by your darling. The look of anger in his eyes only dampened by his annoyance.

"It's like you don't even try to listen to me, dearest." He had hissed, crowding you back against a wall. "Tell me how I'm supposed to keep you safe when you insist on sneaking around and frolicking off to the worst parts of the city in the dead of night."

"I'm sorry." You dropped your gaze to the ground. "I just- get so bored sometimes…" Maybe if you blame yourself, your own poor impulse control, maybe that would satisfy him.

Instead he just laughed. A short, almost incredulous chuckle. "Oh, you're bored. I see, well of course that's all right then. By all means, throw yourself to the wolves then, my love. Since you're bored."

He grabbed your hands in his, muttering a quick spell, and you were home. You watched as he opened his eyes again and his shoulders relaxed. You were here and safe beside him again and he could breathe once more.

But still, "This was the fourth time in less than a month. What do I have to do to make you understand?" Astarion's grip on your hands tightened.

"You could just let me go…" You mumbled bitterly before you could think any better of it. The instant the words escaped your mouth you had regretted them.

His eyes darkened and he pulled you in closer. He brought one hand up to wrap around the back of your neck, holding you firmly in place. "We are not having this discussion again. You know you belong here."

"But if you would just let me out once in a while I wouldn't-"

"It only takes once, don't you get that?" He hissed, his fangs bared. "One person, just like me. Hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike. Do you understand how high profile you are? Do you not see other nobility out with their guards? They don't prowl the dingiest taverns they can find for good reason, my love."

"I can handle myself!" You snapped back. He was already angry, you were already screwed, how much worse could you possibly make it?

You watched countless emotions fly across his face before irritation settled. Truthfully, not the worst possibility. "I know that you're strong and capable. But it's been years since either of us have lived that kind of life. Those skills don't just stay sharp, you know that. You can hold your own against one, maybe two people. But what happens when you're surrounded? And you're alone, I don't know where you are, I can't help you. Do you not understand that I'm trying to protect you?" He spoke, almost as though he was trying to rationalize with a child.

In his defense you did huff like one. "So I'm meant to stay locked up here forever because you're afraid?" That was the wrong word to choose. The annoyed look fell into anger as he pulled you in even tighter.

"Yes." It was short and filled with a venom that shot a wave of fear down your spine. He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull.

"Astarion, please don't-"

"You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?"

"Yes, my love." Were the words that came out of your mouth. They certainly weren't the ones you were intending, though. What do you mean? What are you talking about? What are you doing? All questions that were desperately trying to escape, but none came.

His face softened as he pulled his hand away from your neck to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with a gentle smile. "There we are. I love you, you know? So much. I just… I don't know what I'd do without you."

~*~*~

For something you found so horrifying, Astarion was remarkably calm about what he'd done to you. "As irritating and, honestly, pathetic as he was, Gortash did manage to strike me with a touch of inspiration." He had explained as you helplessly smiled back at him.

"The magic he used against his parents was… clever, I'll say. It was terribly cruel of him to leave them like that, trapped in their own minds forever. You have to understand, that's not what I'm doing." He looked so sad, suddenly. He grabbed your hand in both of his and held tight and you felt your face drop to match his emotions.

"I love you. Please, trust me. You don't know this life like I do. You're so- so kind. So trusting and wonderful and lovely. And it's going to get you killed. This is only temporary. I can keep you safe like this while you learn what you need to. This life is politics and swindling and scheming. It's not heroics and good deeds. One day- one day I swear we'll go back but for now this is what must be done. Please just… just trust that I know what I'm doing. And that I love you."

You felt the cobwebs clear for a moment, brushed aside to give you a chance to speak again. He was giving you a choice, though you weren't entirely sure what either outcome was meant to be. You did trust him though, you loved him. And maybe he was right. You had no idea really what the life of this caliber was like. He had been of nobility his entire life. "I trust you."

You felt the cobwebs fill your head again as he smiled, so gently, so sweetly. So why did it make your stomach turn?

~*~*~

He never gave you any sort of timeline. You had expected it to take a few months though. He was training you, shaping you into the perfect little accessory to attach to his hip. It wasn't always horrible, especially at first when he would clear the cobwebs away at night to discuss how you were feeling and what you were learning.

It did feel a bit demeaning. He was your partner not your mother, after all. But you could tell how relaxed he was now that he wasn't worrying about you so much. And it was always easier to learn by doing, even if it wasn't technically you doing anything.

Still, you saw the way you responded to other nobles when they asked you things you had no clue about. Truthfully, you found yourself hoping Astarion might just do this for every big event you went to. The idea of trying to remember all of these names and titles and schemes was daunting. It'd be easier to keep him happy if he was practically speaking through you and it took a huge pressure off your shoulders.

It was when the people left that you began to have a problem. Even when it was just the two of you alone. He allowed the compulsion to drop less and less frequently. Some days you wondered if he'd forgotten it was there at all. You hated when he would spend his time talking with this fake perfect version of you.

Jealousy. It must be. And you felt so stupid for it too. It was still you, your voice and body. And, honestly, half the time the responses this fake you gave were the exact same ones you would've given anyway. So what did it matter so much?

It was frustrating not being able to control your own body. You missed being able to reach out and grab his hand whenever you wanted. There were a lot of things you missed. Most things, actually.

You missed kissing him. It's not that he didn't kiss you like this, or that you couldn't feel it. When he kissed you it just felt awful. Your stomach would churn and all you wanted to do was pull away. You honestly didn't even feel that terrible the time he had forgotten you were in there while you had sex. (Something he had apologized for profusely, long after you'd forgiven him.)

But the kisses were so tender and sweet and they were for someone who wasn't you. It was this fake you that he made for himself and you just couldn't stand it. Next time he dusted you off, you had made up your mind to ask him to stop.

If only you'd made that decision a touch sooner. It had already been over a week since you were last freed from your compulsion. As the days ticked by, you grew less and less confident that you would get the chance to ask.

It has been months already. You weren't entirely sure, but it must've been closing in on a year since he'd first started this project. It didn't feel like it but it was winter again so it must've been.

You kept hoping, every night when you went to bed you silently begged Astarion to hear you again, to let you out of your mind. He never seemed to hear you. Instead he would pepper you in kisses and speak to you like nothing was different.

Weeks turned to months. Every day that went by without being in control of your own body was beginning to take a toll on your mind.

Astarion's touch became less and less welcome until you wanted to shriek and tear at your own skin every time you felt him near you. You screamed and begged and agonized, hoping that if you could just yell loud enough maybe he would hear you.

He had forgotten about you. You became more and more certain with every evening spent on your back for him now. The first time he'd used you like that he was devastated. The idea that he'd had a change of heart was somehow even more crushing than being forgotten. You couldn't entertain that idea.

It made more sense that he'd forgotten you anyway. It had been so long, he'd gotten so used to you like this. He couldn't hear you screaming and thrashing inside your head. And when you were alone, he truly hadn't changed that much about you. Perhaps some of the comments you made were a touch closer to something he would say, but that really only served to push the real you further from his mind.

You had to accept it. You were trapped in your own mind, helpless against the man you adored. You were angry and frightened and so, so desperate to be free. It ached in your chest every time words that weren't yours escaped your lips. You raged every time you felt his touch on your skin. His kiss left you longing to tear out your hair and shriek until your throat burned.

You were truly, utterly helpless.

~*~*~

It was summer now. You were pretty sure, anyway. It was a bit hard to tell exactly when spring ended and summer began when you never saw the sun.

Astarion was hosting a rather large event that evening. You weren't entirely sure what it was for or why. You had stopped bothering to pay attention to these things once you realized it was no longer about learning how to engage with high brow politics. The you that had control would handle it anyway.

You were dressed in a lovely ball gown, a favorite of Astarion's. He liked the wide hoop skirt, it kept people from getting too close to you.

It was like any other stupid high end party. Food that was so decadent and rich you could barely eat any of it. Most of it would be thrown away. What a waste. One of the few thoughts you had as you essentially dissociated through the party.

Your body picked up a small hors d'oeuvre, delicately biting the bite sized snack in two. It was far too unbecoming to pop the entire thing into your mouth, despite it being shaped for exactly that.

"Any good?" A voice from behind you startled you and your false self out of your tiny food related thoughts.

The fake you recognized him first, as your mind still tried to bring the world back into focus. You felt yourself lunge forward, hoop skirt be damned, as you threw your arms around the person in front of you now. Somewhere in the back of your mind you found it extremely strange that fake you would be allowed to do such a thing.

When you finally pulled back, you were present enough to see who you were hugging and it, truthfully, made even less sense. "Gale!" You heard yourself as you bounced excitedly on the balls of your feet. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, it's a big event isn't it?" He grinned, patting you on the shoulder. "Should the famed Wizard of Waterdeep not receive such an illustrious invitation?" He laughed, taking a small step towards the food table. "No, Wyll was invited. He brought Karlach as a plus one. She told me and I pestered Astarion to invite the rest of us. He didn't tell you?"

That sounded about right. You couldn't help laughing. Gods you'd missed them all. "He didn't, but everyone else is here too?"

"Well, no. I got them an invite, that's the best I could do. Shadowheart and Halsin are around here somewhere. Who knows about anyone else." He said, filling up a plate with tiny snacks. A small part of you was happy at least someone was eating like a normal person.

"Come on then, and fill a plate for Karlach would you? I said I'd bring them all back something." Gale smiled back at you as he began filling another plate, presumably for Wyll.

"Have you seen Astarion yet?" Oh, that was a good question actually. At least fake you was thinking about your love.

Gale nodded, picking up the second plate. "He met us when we first got here. Honestly, I expected you to be with him. Barely had a moment to talk, though, before he got pulled away."

"Precisely why I'm not with him." You laughed, picking up the plate you'd made for Karlach. "An event like this is going to have him pulled twenty directions. I'm supposed to stay over here to watch over things but-" But? Fake you didn't argue with buts. How strange. The power of friendship perhaps? Or Astarion's attention being so split with such a large event was allowing even the perfect version of you he hand crafted to slip through the cracks. Either way, you weren't arguing. "Well, it'll be fine to slip away for a moment." Strange.

You followed Gale back to where Wyll and Karlach were standing just a bit too close as they chatted. They were both dressed to the nines, Wyll in a well fitted suit with a short, ornamental cape draped over one shoulder. Karlach was putting him to shame though, in a floor length strapless dress with a slit that traveled halfway up her thigh. You'd never taken Karlach for a dress person and, watching the way she awkwardly moved in it, you'd assume you were right. That didn't stop anyone with eyes from stopping and staring as she walked by. You even found your own gaze lingering a bit too long. Very strange.

"Hey, soldier!" Her voice rang out loud and clear as soon as she spotted you. Before you knew it, you were wrapped in her arms and lifted off the floor with ease. You couldn't help laughing as you carefully tried to keep the plate of food balanced.

Your skirt swished back into place as she set you down, beaming at you. "It's been way too long. Just because you can't go out in the sun doesn't mean Astarion has to lock you away in the dungeon." She laughed again. If only she knew.

"I was surprised I even got an invite." Wyll chuckled, stepping closer. "I don't play his political games, but I'm happy to enjoy some good food with some old friends." Gods he was so sweet. If you didn't know just how genuinely he meant it, you wouldn't trust him.

"Well, I'm certainly happy to see all of you!" It's been so lonely cooped up in here, I've missed you so much. Your lungs longed to scream out to them, to beg them for help.

It was enough they'd taken you away from your post, you knew it was too much to ask for your voice to break through as well. It didn't stop you from wishing with your whole heart for your friends to hear you.

Instead, you had a pleasant conversation about what they've all been up to. Stories of the adventures Karlach and Wyll had been on, an anecdote about Tara that made everyone laugh. Halsin and, later, Shadowheart found their way into the circle, bringing their own stories. It would've been lovely were you not begging to be heard.

Karlach noticed first, of course she did. You saw it happen. You weren't sure what did it exactly but, as you were speaking, you saw her brow knit together. She watched you a bit closer. Fake you must've noticed as well, you felt yourself straighten up a bit more, talk a bit gentler.

It wasn't enough, she'd clocked something and now she was watching. The conversation shifted away from you but her gaze lingered. The you in control longed for her to look away, while the real you screamed for her attention. I'm here, please see me, gods please hear me!

You felt her watching you for at least ten minutes before she leaned in to whisper something to Gale. Oh gods, now he was watching you like a hawk. They both knew something was wrong but they couldn't tell what.

If you hadn't been watching them, you would've missed the small hand gesture and whispered incantation from the wizard. You didn't feel anything but clearly he didn't get what he wanted.

Then you felt it. A small tingling sensation in your head then, suddenly, it was as though the doors to your mind had been thrown open and you felt yourself recoil as though sunlight was pouring in. He was digging into your thoughts.

"Gale!?" You called out desperately in your head, watching as he blinked in shock. The gentle, practiced smile that remained stuck on your face completely opposed to the desperation he heard in your voice.

"Are you all right?" He asked, out loud, much to everyone else's confusion. Particularly Halsin's, who had been actively speaking when Gale interrupted.

"Gale, please! You can hear me?" Your mind screamed.

"Oh, me? Oh, I'm fine." Your mouth replied.

"I can hear you. What's going on?" Gale pressed forward, ignoring the questioning looks he received.

"Um, Gale-" Wyll had started but the wizard was disinterested in interrupting whatever connection he had with you right now.

"Gale, gods, Gale." What could you even say? You had to say something. But how could you explain this? You knew they all disapproved of the way Astarion kept you squirreled away but they never argued because you were both happy and it really wasn't exactly their business. But this? This was different. This was… well. Fucked up.

He was smart though. It didn't exactly take much to put two and two together. Two different answers, two different versions of his dear friend. "What happened? Does Astarion know about this?"

You would've flinched had you been in control of your body. "Really, Gale, I'm all right, I'm not sure what you're talking about." You still smiled warmly.

"He- he's the one who did this but-!" You panicked as you watched a darkness take over Gale's face.

"Okay, does anyone know what's going on right now?" Wyll tried to interject again, only to be met with a misdirected scowl from Gale.

"It would seem our resident vampire lord has gone a bit too far." He practically spat. He had never been overly fond of your relationship in the first place. You were never sure but Astarion was certain it was jealousy - partially why you were so surprised to see Gale had been invited at all.

"Use your words, Elminster." Karlach folded her arms, already impatient to know what was happening.

Gale turned back to you as his anger turned towards sadness. "I don't know how, but he's puppeting them. This-" He waved a hand at your calm, relaxed smile. "This is all fake. I can hear them, they're trapped in there."

"Gale, please, don't get angry, please." You were trying to do damage control now. You didn't want this to break bad for Astarion, you just wanted to be let out. "I- I just think he might've forgotten me, if you just-"

"Forgot you!? What do you mean forgot you? How long have you been in there?"

"Gale! Please don't cause a fuss, please. This- this doesn't have to affect the night. He just needs a reminder, that's all, it's all right."

"How long."

"I… I don't know. Over a year…" You knew saying that would be a bad idea. The rage took over his face again, while the rest of your companions watched with varying levels of confusion.

"Over a year." His voice was flat, his typical affectations and charming cadence gone. "Would someone be so kind as to request the presence of Lord Ancunín? I think we need to have quite the conversation."

[yourpeepysucksdotorg]

Looking back on my syscourse days with the wisdom of age, I feel as if I can pinpoint a single psychological concept that explains why syscourse is so prevalent to begin with, and why it’s so toxic and inescapable; group polarization. Basically, people are more likely to come to extreme conclusions or make risky decisions when in a group with those sharing the same ideologies, even though most members of the group will have the same core beliefs that aren’t nearly as radical.

In syscourse, this most often occurs when people debate the validity of endogenic systems. It also makes it impossible to have a good-faith discussion on the matter.

I’m not endo-neutral, and while my thoughts on the matter can be found elsewhere on my blog, I’ll remain neutral for the sake of this post making it to as many people as possible, because I genuinely believe so much fighting could be stopped if we just recognized the unhealthy patterns we’ve fallen into. Disordered systems who are anti-endo seem to blame endogenic systems for a lot of things, and while I’m not endogenic, I can pretty accurately guess that having a bunch of strangers tell you that you make their lives worse by expressing your identity makes you feel shitty. This keeps the two communities separated outside of verbal spats, and of course, after these spats, members of both communities will want support. Once again, I can’t speak from the endogenic perspective. But I know that anti-endos will continue to perpetuate that endos are bad, that you didn’t do anything wrong, that they’re just dumb and stupid. Which, I can assume this keeps endogenic systems in constant defense mode, as they constantly have to check which system blogs or servers are or aren’t okay to interact with, out of fear of being attacked by other systems, or worse, becoming some kind of lolcow for singlets.

When both sides feel like they’re being attacked, no productive discussion can be had. Once again, I do have my own opinions on the matter, but right now, I’m really just advocating for all systems to treat each other like living beings. If someone is being terrible to you, there’s no pressure to fight back. Just block them. While that one person might be an asshole, there are so many more people who care about you, support you, and want you to exist more than you even know. This is a saying as old as time, but don’t feed the trolls. Don’t aggressively retaliate, because you’re just giving them more material to bend to their will. And if you’re the one perpetuating assholery, just stop.

Maybe I’m just being an optimist, but I believe that so much syscourse could become irrelevant if we realized that the world isn’t black and white, and there aren’t good and evil systems. We’re all in this together, singlets are still gonna treat us like we’re nuts. We need to stand united rather than push each other further and further away.

[cirtusmistress]

JJK Baby Daddy x Reader HC: Choso ~ The Helicopter Parent

an: i love choso and have baby fever. which sucks for a lesbian who has a visceral fear of being pregnant. so i'm gonna write about a 2D man k thanks <3

tw: mentions of SIDs

genre: fluff with a touch of angst in the teen years

AO3 Crosspost

Bless his heart man :(

Didn’t even know he could have kids but once he learned that he could it was game over.

He had eight siblings and loves them all with his whole heart. Literally Yuji being his brother reshaped his brain, how do you think having kids will have him?

I see him as a girl dad personally but he will love his children no matter the gender.

It was a lot when you told him you were pregnant. It had never really been a thought beforehand, and it just kinda.. Happened. It was a long discussion but you decided to keep it (but if you didn’t want it he would have supported you, because he loves you and in the end you have to come first).

Anxious as fuck though. He’s buying so many parenting books and reading mommy blogs and did you know you shouldn’t eat fish while pregnant? No fish for you. Such a helicopter dad and partner.

LOVES designing the nursery.

You bought him a disposable camera so he could document the pregnancy and he adored every second of it. He makes you a pregnancy scrapbook for each one.

He keeps the first ultrasound pic on him all the time. Shows it to everyone he can like, “This is my baby :)”

He cried every time you two looked at onesies. Realizing how small your baby was gonna be got him so emotional.

Likes helping you pick out maternity wear too! He thinks you’re so cute :(

If you’re a seahorse dad he’s super understanding and tries to help you through any dysphoria you may have. You’re his partner and he feels his family's pain very strongly, so he just wants you to be okay.

He involves Yuji in your pregnancy a lot too (which he loves, he can’t wait to be an uncle).

When the baby finally comes home he’s such an anxious mess. Every time they cry he’s just overwhelmed and scared something is wrong or his fault.

He doesn’t get much sleep. He made the mistake of reading about SIDs and is constantly scared that he’ll wake up one day and they’ll just be gone.

It takes a lot of reassurance from you to calm him back down. Eventually he starts sleeping again, but his sleep is very light.

Loves wearing a papoose (baby carrier). He likes having his baby with him wherever he goes.

I can see him fully committing to being a stay at home daddy. He loves his family and if he could spend every day with his children nothing would make him happier. Gives you a lot of special attention during and after the pregnancy. Massages, going out late at night for craving foods, sitting with you while you go through morning sickness. When you get home he’s super hands on so you can rest and recuperate. You’re the love of his life, nothing is too much for you.

He also makes baby scrapbooks. For all of his kids, at least 3 each. No one goes without and every child is made sure to feel special and loved.

Again, cries at every milestone. When they roll over, when they sit up, the first word. Even the less conventional ones like the first hair cut.

You had to keep him from attacking the doctor when you took them in for their first shots..

The toddler phase is fun. He’s chasing naked babies around your home day and night. Loves the phase where they want to sleep in bed with you two. Being able to have his family all in one bed makes him feel safe. Even if it means a kick to the side or back.

It’s hard when his kids start going to school. He can’t always be with them or protect them and it’s scary for him. He’s always thinking about them, and when they get home he’s always there to pick them up or walk them back to the house.

The teen phase is also a hard transition. Suddenly it’s not cool to spend time with your dad anymore. Some of his kids do, of course, but it’s always a struggle when the others pull away. You always assure him it’s normal, and they still love him. But Choso struggles when his family pulls apart even in little ways.

He’s still a helicopter parent. He means well but to teens it just feels overbearing. He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong.

But in the end his kids always come back. Because they know he will never abandon them, and would raise hell for them.

Wants at least three. If you’re willing, five.

Readiness? 60% Lot’s of panic and crying, but no doubt all of his children will feel endlessly loved, as will you.

who else should I daddy? gojo and nanami are on my hit list

[rainbowdaisy13]

Summary of this Blog

1) I’ve been on tumblr and an active Kaylor in this space since 2018

2) Any info you send me about plans or hints or connections since 2018 I’ve already seen and in some case helped develop the theory—yes I know about Miss Americana, I posted from the jump that it felt incomplete/was pivoted into a political coming out

3) I do not hate Taylor. I’m seeing her with open eyes now instead of in the lavender haze of she can do no wrong & that she has a grand plan that justifies anything

4) I still believe Taylor is queer

4a) I believe she is choosing to heavily Beard again after all the progress she made during Lover because she enjoys the money & power Bearding has produced—she’s now the richest female artist in the *world*

5) I still believe her and Karlie are connected but I no longer presume to know what that connection entails

6) I still believe Taylor wanted us to connect the song Robin to Karlie’s kids—why she would do that given her current level of Bearding & Karlie still being in a lavender marriage only she knows

7) Taylor not denouncing Trumps use of her image—and stop sending messages that the Kamala post made up for it, it did not—and her continued public support of BM, a person Trump called out by name, was my turning point in what this blog discusses

7a) If you are not from the USA, don’t talk to me about Trump & Taylor. You have zero clue what it’s been like for the people here during & after his first presidency. He is vile & cruel & has made *lasting* changes to the laws in our country. He will come for every marginalized community he can and strip them of the rights they worked so hard to earn if reelected because that’s what his super religious white mob wants—a return to the 1950s

8) I post people’s Anons that many of you consider hateful or mean because there are a lot of people in this community that feel similarly but are too afraid to speak publicly for fear of being harassed and attacked

9) None of us wanted this! I didn’t want to question my almost decade of being Taylors fan—I didn’t want to question her integrity, but her behavior is at a point I can’t support without losing mine

10) Questioning/ being disappointed in Taylors choices in 2024 doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you capable of critical thinking even with someone you admire