#writinglgbtq

[writinglgbtq]

Hi there, I adore your blog so much. I just wanna know if there are ways to state the main characters specific sexual orientation without saying that orientation.

For example, my main protagonist is pansexual and at first I wrote "Since I swing all ways like a mary-go-round." But I'm not sure if I like that phrase. How can I tell my audience that my character is queer without saying queer. Because her sexuality is not really a big part of the story.

Hi! Thank you very much for your kind words!!

Honestly, if you don't want to explicitly state a character's sexuality, you don't have to do so. Yes, it's best to have it be clear, but sometimes it just doesn't work within the flow of the story to come right out and say "I'm queer."

The best way to make it implicitly obvious, in my opinion, is to bring up past significant others of varying genders or to allow your character to express attraction to varying genders.

If you do want to come right out and say it, you don't need to couch it in metaphors. "Since I swing all ways," can easily be replaced with "Since, you know, I'm pan."

Finally, just because a character is queer doesn't mean it has to get brought up a ton. A throwaway line that is corroborated by bits of the narration is completely valid and you don't have to go into detail if you don't want to.

[e-de-mimsy]

Dear fellow writers,

as a reader, it is tiring and alienating to come across (internalised/”acceptable”) racism, homo-, bi- and transphobia, ableism, misogyny and sexism in written works.

As a writer, I know that honest mistakes can happen. Some experiences differ so much from our own that we don’t even think that something we write might be an issue. Others are so deeply internalised that we might not notice how they affect us without someone pointing it out to us. Throughout research, educating ourselves and reflection on our work becomes crucial here. Luckily, there are some tumblr blogs/ resources to help us out:

ableism: scriptshrink (mostly information about writing mental illnesses), writing diseases and disabled characters, people with disablities, Four Tips for Depicting Disabled Characters, Five Signs Your Story Is Ableist, Five Common Harmful Representations of Disability

LGBT: yourbookcouldbegayer, howtowritelgbtfiction, writinglgbtq, about trans characters, Homophobia Index, Six Signs Your Story Is Queerphobic, Five Signs Your Story Is Transphobic, Gender and Sexuality Tropes

misogyny & sexism: How to Identify and Obliterate Sexism in Your Novel, Five Signs Your Story Is Sexist, Five More Signs Your Story Is Sexist, A brief reality check on misogyny, 10 Tropes About Women, Female Misogynist

racism: writingwithcolor, Five Signs Your Story Is Racist, Eight Easy Tips for Writing a Diverse Story (especially no. 8!)

I hope you find this helpful and if you know other great articles/resources for those issues, feel free to add on! :)

[cripplecharacters]

Are there blogs like this but for writing lgbt characters?

yes! i think several of the mods here are lgbt+ ourselves (i am at least) but since this is a disability blog i’ll give some recs

@scriptlgbt

@howtowritelgbtfiction

@writinglgbtq

do some tumblr searches and you’ll probably find more, or other mods have other recs.

-mod a

[emilymustwrite]

Me and @dragonyfox are the mods on an LGBTQ+ writing advice blog: @writinglgbtq! 

I started the blog a while ago on my old account and just got re-added to it and thought I’d do a quick promo while I work on our theme!

[writinglgbtq]

My bi male OC is in a relationship with both his bi female GF (GF) and his bi-aro male best friend (BF)- he's in love with GF, but is in a QPR with BF. For unrelated plot reasons, he has to choose who to side with in a situation and chooses GF. I'm aro and worried about this coming across as him picking GF because oh, romantic love is more important than platonic love, when really it's about his morals. Beyond focusing on his love for BF and his inner conflict about it, how do I avoid this? TY!!

I mean, you're aro, so you don't have a whole lot to worry about vis a vis authorial intent? But I'd say definitely have him focus on his morals and what side of the situation to be on rather than whose side personally to be on, if that makes sense.

[writinglgbtq]

(1/2) I'm going to write a fanfic and one of the characters is going to be autistic. I myself am autistic and therefore this makes it easier to write autistic characters accurately; my only issue is that it is set in the 1960s when not much was known about autism. Another thing to add is that said character is also gay and Asian-American (ethnic half Japanese and half Okinawan) and I myself am also an LGBT+ autistic Asian-American (self-projecting much?).

(2/2) I know you don't specialize in race or disability but I asked because I would like to know how exactly these two intersectionalities would have realistically affected him during that time period, and to what extent, especially that he was undiagnosed due to the time period.

The 60s were a very politically-fraught time in general, but especially for communities of color and the queer community. A lot of queer activism gained visibility in the 60s, so gayness was in the public eye. This may or may not be a good thing, depending on where your story is set.

I don't claim to be an expert on autism (or anything, really), but I am autistic so I will say that being gay and autistic together can lead to some personal confusion. In my case, it made it difficult for me to realize I was queer at all.

As far being Asian-American, that is beyond the scope of the blog. However, this would be about 20 years after World War II and the internment camps, so that would be something your character or his parents had experienced?

But both mods are white so we are likely not the best resource when it comes to those types of questions.

[writinglgbtq]

on the subject of the bury your gays trope: is it just bad because those ppl or portrayed as 'expendable', or is the concept of only lgbtq people dying/lgbtq people dying more, in itself, problematic? Like if a story only has one or two characters in the first place, both of them are lgbtq, and they get killed off, it still fulfils the latter. But what if them dying is necessary to the plot? Is writing that still problematic? Thanks in advance.

Spoilers lie ahead for The 100, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Supernatural.

I am going to address the semantics of your question first, because I really feel like the word "problematic" has lost a lot of its meaning as far as being a useful critique. It's not specific enough, in my opinion, and it also discourages discussion, which, in the case of this question, is not all that helpful.

When it comes to Bury Your Gays, the issue is not with the death. People die, in real life and in fiction, with very little regard for their sexual orientation. And I am going to focus on sexual orientation for ease of language, but IMO, it does apply with gender identity.

One example of Bury Your Gays was at the end of season three of The 100. Clarke and Lexa had just had sex, and the very next scene Lexa died. Another example would be season 6 (?) of Buffy, when Tara was shot after reconciling with Willow. The end of Supernatural, when Cas confessed his love for Dean and immediately died. These three instances have in common an affirmation of sexuality and immediate adverse consequences tied directly to that.

Earlier in Supernatural with Charlie, who was not killed after a love confession or similar event but whose character's resourcefulness was disregarded in order to kill her off, was also Bury Your Gays, but the other kind. At the time, I believe Charlie was the Only recurring queer character.

Killing a queer character is not necessarily wrong. Fiction involving queer characters does not need to be conflict and trauma free, and to say so is infantilizing. But when the character or characters are the only queer representation, why are they the ones to die? When the character has just affirmed their queerness in the narrative, what is the point of immediately killing them?

The message the Bury Your Gays trope sends is that queerness will get you killed. When I see a queer character in a story where death is likely, I know they're going to die. And in a real world where queerness makes you a target, it's exhausting to experience the same thing in fiction.

It is an author's responsibility to be aware of the message their work will send. When killing a queer character, ask yourself why it's necessary, go over their character timeline and see if it's coming after an affirmation of queerness, and even if it is necessary and you've done the work to make sure they're not the only representation in the story, tread carefully.

To address your specific question, why kill the only two characters in the story?

Fiction is a place for nuance and exploration, which means you've gotta do the introspective work and be aware that it has the capacity to hurt people.

[writinglgbtq]

Hi I've been wondering: How do Lgbtq people feel about lgbtq characters in a universe in which there is no discrimination against them whatsoever? Do you like the representation or is that deeply offensive?

I love it personally! I hate seeing queerphobia in fiction because I get enough of it irl, but all queer people are different when it comes to that. Definitely not unequivocally offensive, though; I give you my full permission to not have queerphobia in your work.

[writinglgbtq]

how would you recommend writing friendship in a way that wouldn't be misconstrued as a queer romantic relationship and therefore queerbaiting? Like what are some romantic subtext/cues that writers should avoid when they are writing 'just friends'. Esp if the friendship is the kind in which they enjoy meaningful conversation, cuddling, etc, which are signs writers commonly use to indicate a romantic relationship? Thanks!

The good news is that in written fiction, you are showing readers your character's perspective on the relationship that's happening. That means you can make it clear the relationship is platonic, just close, by virtue of not having your POV character be in love with their friend. I recommend reading romances to see how authors tend to get across romance within the internal monologue.

It isn't queerbaiting to write close friendships. It's queerbaiting to write a romantic/sexual queer relationship and turn around and say they aren't queer.

For example, Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens? Not queerbaiting. They're canonically queerplatonic. Sam and Frodo from Lord of the Rings? Not queerbaiting, just extremely shippable. Dean and Castiel from Supernatural? Queerbaiting. I know the confession is canon, but the relationship isn't.

Hope that helps!

[writinglgbtq]

I'm curious as a trans writer to ask other trans/LGBT writers- what's your opinions on pronoun usage before a trans character's aware that they're trans? If they're the viewpoint character/it's third person omniscient following a specific character, what's your approach?

That's a really good question! Ultimately, I think the narrative should reflect what the narrator knows. In third person limited, the narrator is the main character. In that instance, the main character, upon realizing they're trans, should flip how they refer to themselves. If the narration calls for it, they could even slip up a few times. I know my IRL inner monologue does.

To use A Series of Unfortunate Events as my example of an omniscient third person narrative (i.e. the narrator is a character that transcends the story and has opinions about it), I'd want the narrator to be aware and lampshade the realization at the beginning. However, if it's not a voicy narrator in that way, and more as in Lord of the Rings, I think it's up to the writer and the style and tone they're going for.

My current WIP is in first person to avoid this exact problem! He can't be misgendered in the narration if there's no third person pronouns, haha.

[writinglgbtq]

Are there any other terms for transgender that are respectful to use? I noticed the actual word “transgender” was coined in the 1960’s, and for a non-modern fantasy setting I thought a less modern term might be good to use, if there are any that work.

I can’t think of any, but if you’re writing fantasy, I think making up a word that’s similar to transgender would be fine as long as it’s not something terrible like sh*male or some such. 

Then again, do you need a word for it? Obviously we do, in the real world, because labels are important, but perhaps your character could just say something along the lines of “no, I’m actually [correct gender]”? That would certainly simplify things for you. 

[writinglgbtq]

As a writer I have a bad relationship when it comes to romance - I generally think it's overvalued, and 99% of my relationships are platonic friendships. I noticed that when it comes to hetero ships people like it, but when it comes to non-hetero ships (is there an umbrella term in English?) people tend to call it queerbaiting. But I write only not romantic relationships, so what is the difference between hetero and non-hetero when it comes to this? Is it rude to answer "don't like don't read"?

We tend to just call them lgbt ships, queer ships, or gay ships, honestly. 

Queerbaiting is when an author plays the will-they-won’t-they game with same-sex characters and then decides at the end that they won’t. If there isn’t romance happening in your novel, you probably don’t have anything to worry about, honestly. 

There isn’t really a heterosexual equivalent because it’s not a problem for heterosexual people the way it’s a problem for lgbt people. When our ships are teased, we’re never given another canon ship to make up for it, generally, or if we are, there’s a singular lgbt romance in the work. Heterosexual ships are extremely common and canon more often than not, so for a ship to be teased and not end up canon isn’t as big of a deal. 

(Except when a person of color is involved, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms, honestly, that I’m not equipped to talk about because I’m a white person.)

[writinglgbtq]

How does coming out work? What is a right answer when someone comes out to you as trans/gay? I write lgb characters but I never wrote a coming out. I am cishet, but not a single person really *came out* to me, and I know way more lgb than cishet. They never *tell* me, they simply live their lives. I tried to ask them what they would like to hear but they were buffled and and told me that "only idiots and attention whores make coming outs". Is it real? Is it just a fictional thing?

Coming out is real. Not everyone does, and there’s no “right” way to do it. It’s a very different thing for each person. Personally, I don’t usually up and tell people I’m nonbinary or pansexual/bisexual, but I never hide it, either. 

I disagree that only “idiots and attention whores make coming outs” because, though I’m sure there’s someone out there who did come out for the attention, for a large majority of people who come out, it’s a very important and stressful thing.

Also, don’t think I don’t notice you dropping off the t from lgbt. I hope that it was just a bad shortening choice and not a deliberate decision to exclude trans people. 

[writinglgbtq]

(Previous anon with Women having magic) I didn’t even think about that being a problem but that does bring up a good point. Yeah, I’ll change that. I’m sorry to ask a follow up question, but do you have any advice for non binary with magic? Should I just have it if they biologically a female or should I just stay clear of that?

Some nonbinary people feel aligned towards man or woman, so it wouldn’t be  out of the realm of possibility for a woman-aligned nonbinary person to have magic, in my opinion. I wouldn’t worry about biology (the sexes), if I were you, but rather presentation (gender).

[writinglgbtq]

Hello! I have this story and I need some advice! In this world, only women have magic. Some do, some don’t, but it’s usually women. I was trying to decided on what would happen if your transgendered- like, is the magic based on physical things or on the soul? And I kinda decided it’s a mix of both? (Continue)

(Continue) If your trans, either you get the magic, you don’t, or your magic is a little on the fritz and you have to train and fix it. This led me to having a trans guy have magic and confuse everyone and trans girl who has to work hard to get her magic to work correctly. I just wanted to make sure this wasn’t negative?

I’m gonna be honest, that sounds a little dicey. I’m nonbinary, personally, which falls under the trans umbrella, and if I were to read a story with this situation, I would be quite uncomfortable. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable this situation would make a binary trans person. 

The part that bugs me the most, I think, is that you have a trans man who is implied to be able to use magic just fine, and a trans woman who has to try very hard to make magic work, which to me reads like “Oh, trans men are still women, so they can do it just fine, and trans women aren’t woman enough to count, so it’s harder for them” which is really yikesy for obvious reasons. 

Please, anon, consider changing your magic system to support trans people better. In my opinion, it would be easiest to not give the trans man magic at all, since he’s a man, and to have at least one trans woman who can use magic as easily as a cis woman can. 

[writinglgbtq]

For one of my OCs I was thinking of making her have a different romantic orientation than her sexual orientation, but I have never heard one someone being have a different orientation romantically from their sexual orientation?

It’s not uncommon, actually. Many ace people have romantic preferences and many aro people have sexual preferences. I think it depends more on what the two options you were thinking for your OC are.

- mod ambrose 

I wanted to throw my two cents in on this one, too, just to say that maybe you should look into aro and ace tumblr to get a feel for how people with different romantic and sexual orientations describe it and figure out how to do your research from there, since it seems like this is just a concept right now that you aren’t sure what to do with.

-mod anja