#writing these posts helps me remember what happened in the episodes better

[lenteur]

i'm putting strong girl nam soon on hold

[airborneice]

sooo I think this ended up being my tribute art to hilda the series? almost a whole year after the show ended but oh well 🤷‍♀️

if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ramble about how much the show means to me for a bit -

Soooo I really really love this show. It is so delightful in every way, from the heartwarming and funny writing to the insanely beautiful visuals. You can tell that every aspect of this show was made with so much love and care and it truly has a type of charm to it that I’ve never seen in anything else. I’m really glad it exists and got the run that it did.

While I was drawing this I kept thinking back to a recent quote from Luke Pearson about how iconic to the series that little red cabin in the wilderness is, even though it was only there for a couple of episodes/comics - pretty much everything that happened in the show is because the story moved on from there and Hilda found new settings and characters and her world got so much bigger, but at the end of the day, that place is where it all started.

When I was re-watching season 1 clips to get art references it took me right back to 2018 when the show first aired. I remember often putting on the season 1 soundtrack while I was scanning animations under the rostrum when I was at uni late and re-watching the episodes when I was feeling down and needed a bit of cosyness. I was Going Through It in late 2018 for a number of reasons and this quickly became my comfort show, and that’s probably a part of why I still love it years later - things are way better but it’s just lodged there in my heart now.

And uh…not to get all cliché but…this show really did help point me towards where I am now. While I was at uni I’d study clips of it from time to time to see how the animators achieved what they did and I learned some useful stuff here and there. like..someone’s animation breakdown video on Hilda is what introduced me to the concept of arcs (I was on an animation course so I should’ve known abt arcs already but oh well. better late than never 🫠) and a ton of animation stuff made more sense to me after that. I can look at some of my very old animations and pin-point a principle or a little cheat that I learned from studying Hilda. On top of that, at my uni we focused on hand-drawn animation (on paper first and then. photoshop of all things 😑) so that was the whole scope of my animation knowledge, and I was really fascinated by how 2D rig shows like Hilda even worked.

In the end I got so curious that I took a toonboom course after I graduated and started figuring it out for myself. I didn’t really know what to do with myself in the immediate post-graduation job search hell, but I wanted to learn more skills and Hilda looked like the type of show I wanted to be on more than anything, so I made a point of learning the stuff that might get me there. And learning rig anim was extra fun bc it helped me understand how this show was made and appreciate it even more :) It truly lit up an enthusiasm in me for all the technical behind-the-scenes stuff in cartoons that still keeps me motivated to this day. anddd long story short I’m a 2D rig animator now so I guess it worked out! ngl I think it’s very funny that I stanned Hilda so hard it got me a job on a disney show. how does that even happen. (and I’ve even had the honour of working with some of the people who made Hilda so in a way it feels like it’s all come full-circle now :) )

And obviously, it’s been really fun being in the fandom with everyone and being insane together. It’s wild that it’s been 6 years of that. I’m glad for the cool people I met and all those fun times. I’m really glad I got to be a part of that.

Soo yeah!! lovely show. thank you

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like I owe Kim Possible a minor apology. In a recent post, I used Kim and Ron's romance as an example of how the love square should have been written. I've also talked about how Ron's the perfect example of a male comedy sidekick who is more than just a comedy sidekick because he's treated as Kim's perfect partner. I've probably mentioned Kim Possible other times, too, because it's such a good match for what Miraculous is trying to do.

Because I keep singing Kim Possible's praises I decided that I should rewatch the show to make sure that my nostalgia goggles weren't blinding me to some major flaw. So far, they weren't. If anything, I've been underselling the show. This is where we get to that apology I mentioned at the start.

Prior to this rewatch, I would have told you that Ron's importance wasn't really discussed until the later seasons because the first season of a formulaic kids show is almost always a testing grounds to see what works, so things can be a little rough. Plus Ron's importance isn't exactly something that you need to dive into early on when you've got a two person team. No one is questioning Ron's importance right out of the gate. He's there to be the comedy sidekick. No explanation needed.

Imagine my surprise when the plot of episode six is all about Kim and Ron getting into a fight about Ron excelling at their part time job while Kim kinda sucks, leading to Kim going to fight alone while Ron keeps working. Kim fails, Ron gets a call that she's in trouble, and:

Wade: Not important. Kim's in trouble. She found Drakken at inside giant Cheese Wheel but I lost contact. She needs help. Your help. Ned: Well, well, well. Looks like you've got a choice to make, Stoppable! What's more important? Your sacred duty as assistant manager or your role as goofy sidekick? Ron: Well, that's no choice at all. I guess it's time to say buenos noches, Bueno Nacho.

Dude doesn't even hesitate. Doesn't matter if they're fighting or if he's feeling underappreciated, Kim needs his help? He's there. Their fight can wait until after Kim is safe. This is why I love Ron. Total dork, but you can't ask for a better partner.

Ron's rescue attempt initially goes south, but instead of getting mad, we get this genuinely sweet moment:

Ron: Guess that wasn't much of a plan. Kim: Not as great as your Bueno Nacho bathroom-break chart. Ron: I gooned on assistant-manager power. You were right. Kim: I did resent your superior burrito technique. You're entitled to excel. Forgive me? Ron: Duh! Forgive me? Kim: Totally.

Boy do I love these two! Their friendship was so genuine right from the start. This whole episode is just oozing how much they care for each other, it's great!

After this moment, they save the day with Ron playing a big part in Kim's plan because right from season one, season one, the writers understood that Kim could never be shown to win when Ron wasn't around.

As you may have guessed from the cheese wheel line, the plot of this episode is pretty absurd even for Kim Possible. That's been the case for all of the early episodes, but I think that the plots are going to improve as the seasons go on because I remember the later seasons having much stronger plots. We'll see if that proves true. Even if the plots stay kinda weak, I've still gotta give full credit to the writers for their early character work. They really understood Kim and Ron's relationship right from the start, didn't they? And in a show like this, that's the most important element to get right.

Don't worry, I'm not going to flood your dash with Kim Possible love, I just had to take a moment to appreciate how good the character work was here. They really did want Ron to feel like more than Kim's goofy sidekick and they pulled it off while sticking to the show's absurd writing and formulaic structure. As Miraculous has shown, that isn't something that just naturally happens. It takes effort, so I had to take a moment to gush because I don't get to gush about good character work often while running this blog. I hope this also makes it clear that, when it comes to writing, I'm not looking for perfection. I'm just looking for a good time. So far, that's what this rewatch is giving me.

[marengogo]

Are You Sure?! - #1: A Vampire’s Utopia

Who by Jimin focused playlist 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello my JM & JK Loving Gurls, Bois and Enbys! 

How have we all been since Thursday? 😌 Who’s watched both episodes at least 3 times? 🤡 Who’s gonna keep watching the episodes until Thursday? 💜 Who’s been left marvelling, yet again, about how intricately beautiful human beings are 🙋🏾‍♀️…

Oh! Only me?! 👀.

... Well what can I say? If it weren’t for my undying love for movies I would have definitely chosen a job related to psychology. Now whether I would have turned out to be a help or a menace to society, is anyone’s guess, after all, there is no sense, or point, in speculating things that have no way of presently happening due to decisions made in the past. However, do y'all know what we can speculate on? The present based on actions that actually happened in the past.

I’ve admittedly rewatched both episodes of AYS for the fourth time yesterday for research purposes obviously, and what brings me here is that now very infamous moment there are presently ao3 books being written on this particular moment ? The one when my cutie-patootie twin-flame very concisely summarises his and JM’s “solo/chapter 2 relationship”, up to that point (which to be precise, is the period of time between 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA… exactly 1 year: DAMN!) as per below:

First time I saw this part, the first thing I did was snort and then I immediately thought: DRAMA QUEEN and trust me, I would know. Oh, and let it be clear, I can only attempt to speculate on my twin-flame, especially in cases like this when I strongly feel that my boi has been … misunderstood. If it weren’t clear enough from the title, this is indeed a JK post you know JM-blood thirsting vampire etc etc etc.

Let's start with the fact that I beleive that JM was simply trying to start a simple bit of banter when he said:

And I would sincerely like to apologise to JM cause, indeed, this simple type of banter would have warranted a just as simple type of reply. Something like what JK eventually ended up saying after he allowed his thoughts to come forth and take the stage, but we will address this in a second:

But no.

You see, homeboi over here seems to be the type to hold on to things and will not let go until he’s cleared things, or situations, in the way he has known and/or perceived them to have happened, which tend to happen a lot when you are a very emotional person, who isn’t necessarily as eloquent. The most important thing to understand here, however, is the fact that whatever topic such people decide to discuss is all according to their most sensible account of facts and perceptions. They don't mean to offend or distort truths, they just ... emote for lack of better words. For example, it is a fact that, during that period, JK & JM were both busy, it is apparently also a fact that JK didn’t call, but according to JM it is not a fact that he himself didn’t call. 

Does that make JK a liar? In my opinion, not only can't I know what actually happened, but in fact, that is absolutely not the point of the case at hand. The way I see it, this is simply how JK has perceived this particular absence in his life, during that particular period. In fact, let’s dive even deeper.

Because of those two sentences, you’d I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MANY DO ... think that JM and JK actually never met each other during that particular period of time 14 July 2022 - 13 July 2023. Now, I am sure we all remember him sorta/kinda pining on weverse during the period from 3 February 2023 and 14 March 2023, right?:

But let’s quickly look at a timeline of the 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA period. Below are dates when they definitely met, with other members, that we are aware of. I’ve also inserted his most relevant weverse pinings, and the period of time they were busy at the same time, just for me to have a time reference:

・14 JULY 2022: J-HOPE’S LISTENING PARTY - OT6 (Yoongi was sick)

・1 SEPTEMBER 2022: JUNGKOOK BIRTHDAY - JM waint with Hobi to celebrate his birthday

・15 OCTOBER 2022 - BUSAN CONCERT - OT7

・12 DECEMBER 2022 - JIN’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7 

・most likely FEBRUARY-MARCH 2023 - LIKE CRAZY DANCE PRACTICE - JK went to see JM practice

 3 Feb 2023 - 14 Mar 2023 ——— LIGHT WEVERSE PINING - The above collage period

・25 MARCH 2023 - MEMBERS MEET WITH JIN DURING HIS HOLIDAY - OT7

27 March 2023 ——— HEAVY WEVERSE PINING - JK posting “I miss you”, then watching Suchita and reacting to JM content.

・18 APRIL 2023 - HOBI’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7

April - May ——— both JK & JM are travelling around the world for work and/or pleasure.

・25 JUNE 2023 - D-DAY in SEOUL ‘DAY 2’ - VMINKOOK at Yoongi’s concert 

・13 JULY 2023 - AYS in NYC - JK & JM (and staff) have dinner at ANTOYA 

… If you asked me, it would appear that JK’s issue is actually the fact that they didn’t get a chance to go out alone, just the two of them. Yeah … My twin-flame seems to always have had strong, almost impulsive, reactions when it comes to anything concerning JM, it is actually probably the most vocal he becomes for a non-talkative guy that is.

Can you recall any other member, other than JM, he was ever upset about because he didn’t get to hear their music? Can you think about any other member other than JM, who JK would most likely be spending time rehearsing, eating, doing nothing during band activities? Can you think of any other member other than JM, for whom he’s made a bit more of an effort during birthdays and special dates? Once again ... If you ask me ... JK truly values his time alone with JM, which is why I think his perception felt so fatalistic/dramatic we all know that for example, JM did go to the Golden Listening Party in October ... 

And don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t believe it to be a one-way affair. Are You Sure?! exist exactly because JM would seem to also appreciate his alone time with JK, be it in front of a camera, in a hotel room, or whreever. After all, they were supposed to only go for one trip, but not only did they magically whip out time to go on two more Jeju and Sapporo, but they are now talking about doing this until they are 50. LOL I’ll be in my 60s but I’ll tune in! . And then, to top it all off … They ended up enlisting together. The way JM wanted to “make a video of their adventures and freedom” before enlistment, you’d think they’d be apart for the following 18 months because of said enlistment 😒.  

It’s actually quite funny if you think about it. Between the two of them JM is most definitely the shiest, but JM is most definitely the better one at expressing himself. Y’all can obviously disagree with me, but from where I stand, my twin-flame is actually smart as hell one day people will finally acknowledge that, but he is not the best with words. I’m sure in JK’s Utopia, the world is a place where people sing to each other in order to communicate, instead of spoken words. Alas, this is not JM-blood thirsting Vampire Utopia, and in the world where we presently live, JK seems to be the type who’s first reaction to stressful situations is finding the funny side of things and when that fails then he needs to do something about it; anything.

Now, as always, everyone is entitled to their opinions, in fact, many have made it very clear that to them JK was feeling “off” in these episodes, but to me, not only he was being his typical weird self, but I also I discovered a few new aspects, for example, when he truly cares about something, his devotion has really no limits. But let me use some images, and some words, to better explain how I perceived JK in these two episodes. Remember how JK once substituted the word Love with Jimin, in a Boy with Luv lyric Jimin nothing stronger? Well I’d like to do the same thing and sub the word Love with JK in the following very famous biblical paragraph and associate specific moments in both episodes to each line:

JK is patient, 

If this is not the testament sequence of a man who’s been waiting to spend time with you, no matter what, then I don’t know what else is.

JK is kind.

He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud.  

He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, 

LOL … one day JK will be able to pull a prank on JM; I believe in you.

He is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but ... there are no “wrongs” done between JM & JK, what they do with each other is joke, have accidents and play around - but gotta say this just in case!

Last but not least, though JK was coughing like there was no tomorrow, wouldn’t you think that JM being vehemently sick, would be grounds for the whole show to be cancelled? In fact, we didn’t even know there was going to be a show, so nobody would have missed anything and at some point they could have used the footage in a bangtan-bomb, or during Festa, or something. … The fact that they were willing to keep going and even show us themselves in such a vulnerable state, the fact that because of it JM was so worried and doubting almost everything, and the fact that JK ultimately wasn’t worried and regretted nothing, kinda reinforced for me just how much they truly wanted to be together on that trip at that time it was basically overdue. 

In conclusion, though my Twin-flame’s strongest suit isn’t communication, and his recollection of events may or may not be as accurate due to emotional perception, his heart is ALWAYS in the right place, sturdy, confident and ready to let JK be the best he can be, at all times. I mean, you don’t have to take my word for anything I've just said but below is JK a mere 10 days after they separated from NYC/Connecticut ... look at him ... giddy AF and hella playful if you ask me and once again … weverse pining.

I guess one alone trip wasn’t enough after all 😉.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[oneatlatime]

Lake Laogai

This Lake had better have Appa in it. With little water wings on.

Skipping the commentary as usual.

The Previously On section suggests that a whole lot of plot threads are about to crash into each other. Strap in folks.

Lefty Sokka!

Beat up Sokka quota fulfilled by his sister's critique of his art skills. It's not like he had paper to practice with at the South Pole.

Sometimes I forget that Aang is 12, then he does something like attempt to rescue his pet from a nefarious city-wide conspiracy of silence with lost cat posters.

"Good tea is its own reward." That means no, he isn't paid enough.

Remember what I said in my last post about Iroh bringing too much attention to himself?

"senior executive assistant manager" someone on the writing team has worked retail I see. Nothing like meaningless promotions with no raise attached! It's right up there with employee pizza party.

I have to pause here and point something out. This whole scene with Iroh? This is an adult fantasy. I don't mean dirty, I mean this whole scene was put in specifically to appeal to the adults who got roped in to watching this kids' show by their children. A rich man walks through the door of your shitty retail job, immediately spots your natural greatness, and offers you a much better paying job with unlimited creative freedom and a better house to go with it? Find me a burnt out retail worker who hasn't conjured up this fantasy five times a shift.

And so the plots come crashing back together. This won't end badly.

"patience really pays off" I checked. He waited literally three seconds.

Shout out to Toph in the background playing catch with a ball she can't see. Casual flex of epic proportions.

Remind me never to go to Lake Laogai. Sounds like it's lousy with Ju Dees.

So the Ju Dees don't know about each other? Because she seems honestly confused. Does Ju Dee think she's the only Ju Dee? What happens if two Ju Dees run into each other in the street?

Posters are illegal but I haven't heard a peep about recarving a bunch of fields into a zoo.

This is maybe the second time Aang's blown up over Appa. Frankly he deserves more blow ups about the whole situation.

I don't think knocking down walls will help find Appa, but I applaud Toph's spirit.

They took out a whole wall and then exit by the door anyways. That's funny.

I really hate this guy, but I have to admit that he may be the first truly competent villain of the series.

'The Jasmine Dragon' also lets anyone with half a brain know that you're Fire Nation. Try the Jasmine Badgermole instead.

Zuko really can't catch a break, huh? He wasn't happy being a tea server, but at least he was resting. But every time he gets five minutes to himself, the main plot reappears to drag him back into the action, whether he wants to or not. Although he hasn't figured out that he doesn't want to be dragged back yet.

Every line of dialogue in this scene is a good point. Zuko's right, Iroh's right. The Zuko's right again, then Iroh's right again.

YES YES YES GET HIS ASS

That was satisfying!

I'm not understanding why Sokka is the voice of reason here. Is he incapable of holding a grudge? He's the one that had all the animosity with Jet to begin with. Shouldn't it be Aang who wants to hear him out?

Toph is a living lie detector now? I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm sure that could have come in handy previously. Any other incredibly useful skills we should know about?

Jet is oddly defensive for someone who claims to know he did wrong.

Ever get so excited that your spine malfunctions?

Sokka just has a metre long map in his pocket. Good friend to have in a pinch.

Avatar first! Katara is rude to an old person!

I'm going to have fun with Toph's new ability.

Toph, you have never been more right. It is the worst city ever. You are really shining this episode.

I know this is a serious scene, but I need to point out that Jet's guyliner is on point.

This shot is jarringly out of place. I think it's because it both black and white, and live action. Those have to be real clouds.

So the Blue Spirit can talk after all. Careful, your Zuko is showing.

Wow Zuko is good at sewing. And fast too.

Sokka is having far too much fun with this whole 'prompt Jet's memory' thing. Maybe he does have a bit of a grudge after all.

Katara can reverse brainwashing now too? Everyone's levelling up this episode.

This scene with the planks is a very cool and disorienting visual.

Didn't have 'the gaang breaks into a brainwashing facility' on my ATLA bingo card.

Pretty.

OMIGOD IT'S AP- did Zuko just break the fourth wall?

Everyone always forgets to look up.

So this fight is going to be Toph v. all of the Dai Li while everyone else tries not to get in Toph's way.

That's a boat.

Toph could probably take all these guys out faster if she wasn't having to constantly break off to save everyone else from them.

The Dai Li prancing up walls is a really cool visual. It's very Ty Lee of them.

I love watching her work.

Why don't you let Long Feng escape? He's no longer threatening you, and you're down there to rescue Appa. Just let him go.

The security on Lake Laogai is a joke.

Big words from someone who also had no plan whatsoever at the North Pole.

Zuko knows that Iroh's right. He knows, and that's important. I don't think Iroh is saying anything that Zuko hasn't thought and then hurriedly pretended to have never thought about before. It's why he says 'stop it' rather than being completely confused as to what Iroh is referring to.

Poor Appa's like 'can you have a crisis of self after you free me please?'

'You've chosen your own demise." No. You chose it for him. That's some top tier deflection/victim blaming right there.

Longshot can talk!

That's one hell of a set up and pay off re: Toph's lie detecting abilities.

Poor Jet. A double tragedy: to be likeable only when you're brainwashed, and to dedicate your life to wiping out the Fire Nation yet being killed by the Earth Kingdom.

Hi Appa. It's about time buddy.

Shockingly in character for Appa's first actions to be to single handedly save the Gaang from a threat.

You skip that bastard like a stone.

Everyone go and listen to the sound Appa makes when he spits out Long Feng's shoe. It's delightful.

I am framing this.

And this too.

I can tell there's some shmymbolism here, but it's gone right over my head.

Final Thoughts

Appa is back. The Gaang has Appa back. I have Appa back. Ok. I can relax now. With any luck, this means we can leave Ba Sing Se.

This episode felt like City of Walls and Secrets, Part 2. I think it was a good decision to have a couple of episodes between the two, but I think there would be some tonal whiplash if you binged this section of season 2. Which wouldn't have been a problem for a show designed to air once a week, so it's a moot point.

So Zuko freed Appa from his chains, and presumably pointed him in the direction of a door or something. Or maybe not; Appa has a ridiculously hard head, he could have busted his way out. Either way, Zuko broke the chains. Thanks Zuko!

In season 1, Zuko finds the Avatar the world had lost. In season 2, Zuko finds the Sky Bison the Avatar had lost. So in season 3, Zuko will find something Appa has lost. I wonder what that will be?

Jet being killed by the Earth Kingdom is so deliciously ironic, and tragic, yet very in character for the Earth Kingdom's approach to this war. It's also literally this:

Smellerbee and Longshot have really gotten the short end of the stick over and over this season. They were the only ones to decide to stick with Jet. Presumably they were the only ones who believed that he had had a legitimate change of heart. And they were kind of wrong. They get to Ba Sing Se only for Jet to immediately backslide way past even where he was at his worst in Season 1. He completely discounts and dismisses their legitimate concerns for his methods and his overall health. Then Jet gets arrested and disappears for two (?) weeks. So what do they do now? Get jobs? Steal so they don't starve? Then suddenly Jet's back but he doesn't even remember them. Then suddenly Jet's dead. The whole point of coming to Ba Sing Se just died, in a way that shows very clearly that their desire to help with the war is not welcome at all in the city. So what now? Do they leave and try to fight in the war from outside the walls? Do they settle down and try to forget about the war? Things did spiral completely out of Jet's control once the Dai Li got involved, but you have to admit that he's left his only remaining friends up a creek.

Sokka had some good jokes but was oddly ok with this episode's events. Toph had some great lines and got to shine with a new skill that any writer with half a brain will bring back in future episodes. She felt like the audience substitute this episode, which is usually Sokka's role. Toph was episode MVP for sure. Poor Aang took a bit of a back seat this episode. Zuko finally hit the crisis point, and may well have made his first indisputably correct decision of the series. But, as previous episodes have gone out of their way to show me that Zuko being good always goes badly for Zuko, I'm sure freeing Appa will somehow come back to bite him.

Iroh's question of "who are you? And what do you want?" was Zuko's entire character arc this season. He took a shot at answering the "who are you?" portion in Zuko Alone, and sort of halfway got there before messing up at the end of the episode. As for the "what do you want?" Zuko will tell you (often and repeatedly) that he wants his honour back. But I think he just wants to go home. The thing is, I strongly suspect that the home Zuko wants to return to hasn't existed since his mother left, if it ever existed at all. Which means that while "who are you?" has an answer Zuko can work towards, "what do you want?" has an answer that is kind of impossible. So Zuko is going to have to learn to want something new.

RIP Jet. Your life was fucked to Hell long before you were old enough to try and salvage it. You'll probably be missed by more people than you strictly deserve. War sucks, amirite?

[fyeahnix]

Ok lemme talk about this season of Arcane, the ending, and most importantly, Sevika. If you don't want spoilers, back away now but I'm leaving this open because people have a tendency to not open or read my posts with read more cuts after them 🙃

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First off, I will say that I like Arcane a lot. Like a LOT. I've watched the first season 4 times (rarely do I watch anything more than once) and I think it's a masterclass in adult animation. Fortiche really put everything into this series.

That being said...

While I did like season 2, I don't think it was enough. Animation wise it was phenomenal, writing wise...I think it could have been better. As I've learned through doing research for my Sevika fics, the League of Legends universe, lore, and worldbuilding is fucking MASSIVE and even if I don't give two shits about that community or game, I have to give it props in that department because they really put a ton of work into it to make it feel alive. Maps? Short stories? Timelines? Race and culture? Apex could never...

That ofc is why it's hard for me to say that the writing is amazing. We had far too many characters to keep track of in season 2 with far too many plot threads to finish in two seasons. I think ideally, this series should have been 3 seasons instead of 2. Acts 1 and 2 could have been its own season, and Act 3 could have been its own season. If not that, then at least one more episode per act would have helped a lot. Things just progressed and wrapped up far too quickly for my liking.

Also not a huge fan of how quickly video game related media tends to dip into the whole timeline and multidimensional business. It def works well for some games but here? Idk I guess it was bound to happen given some League character's abilities, but the stakes just elevated far too quickly for me. Not a fan of Viktor becoming one of the main antagonists at all, and DEFINITELY not a fan of the conflict between Piltover and Zaun being sidelined for an "enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing with the war against the Noxians. It makes sense, I just wish "war with the Noxians" came at a later date so we could focus on the twin cities.

And speaking of the generational conflict between Piltover and Zaun, let's talk about Sevika.

As I said before, Sevika is the most qualified person to become the leader of Zaun and I stand by that even after the ending. But first....what about her found family? Isha sacrificed herself and Sevika gets no on-screen reaction? The last two episodes just progressed SOOOO FAST that we and some of the characters didn't even have time to breathe. Did Sevika even get time to mourn for Isha? What about Jinx, who is now gone? Sevika barely even encountered Vander! I would have loved to see some of the aftermath there because I think season 1 did a better job of allowing characters time to process their emotions and grief, even if the pacing was still kinda fast. It was acceptable!

I am sad af she didn't get more lines, but remember, Sevika has always been a side character in this series. An important side character but a side character no less. The promo shot of her now feels like...what was the point? (more on that in a sec) but considering how many characters and plot points and plot threads they had to account for, I am not surprised she didn't get more screen time. Hell, Vi and Caitlyn didn't even get a chance to have a full conversation on eveything that happened and Caitlyn didn't even apologize on screen. The fuck bro.

Now about Sevika's ending....I am very happy she isn't dead. Like dawg, you have no fucking idea how happy I am about it. SHE FUCKING LIVED. But....

I am seeing some people saying they're not happy or they're confused or that her ending doesn't make sense. And I just disagree with those points. Let me explain why.

I posted something earlier today about it, but again, as people don't open my read mores, I'll repost it here:

We absolutely do not know how much time passed between the war and the final few shots of the season. So Sevika joins the council. I DO NOT THINK she would do this unless there's a good reason for it, and that's why I'm guessing she will be Zaun's ambassador on the council. That war probably significantly changed the relationship between Piltover and Zaun and while old wounds will take more than a fucking war to heal, her being on the council now means she directly has a say in Zaun's future. Remember, the council was literally about to hand Zaun their independence before Jinx blew it up, and Mel was in support of it. As I said before, Sevika is respected down there at a bare minimum with all the factions. She would know better than anyone how to lead Zaun at this point. So yeah I get the hesitation, but it makes sense in my eyes. And it makes it likely that Sevika could show up again in a future League animation, if not become a whole champion.

I like her ending. I am sorry but it just makes fucking sense. Sevika is extremely loyal to her home and her people of Zaun. We've seen that time and time again. She was willing to go to war and die for those people not just against Piltover but also the Noxians, so why on fucking earth would anyone believe she's making a bad choice here?

She is now in the best possible position anyone in Zaun could be to advocate for their independence and support their growth. She knows the chem barons and brought them to peace, she gained the respect of the Firelights with Scar leading them in Ekko's absence, and she even got the Jinxers together with them before the Noxian attack on Zaun. Sevika has experience, she has the ear of the people, she knows what it's like down there, she is made to lead and help advocate for them!!!!

Believe me I get that whole "changing things from the inside" angle doesn't work more often than not, but this doesn't feel like "changing from the inside," it feels like "let me advocate for my people's actual independence so we have a starting point to become self sufficient." Again, Piltover was literally about to let Zaun gain their independence, and while none of the previous council members that agreed to it are there, Mel is/was. Who's to say she didn't help negotiate for Sevika to sit on the council and start (or complete!) the Zaun independence process before she left for Noxus? I can't imagine Sevika would just show up to the table and sit there if she didn't have a damn good reason. Like come on now. This woman has seen first-hand what Piltover is capable of and does not like them nor looks like she wants to be there. But she's seen what Piltover has done to her people first-hand, and after learning from both Vander and Silco, this is how she feels she can best protect her people.

She IS the new leader of Zaun and their ambassador at the council.

And lastly, we've been told that some characters will be returning in future League animations. Mel seems like an absolute given, but what about Sevika? Zaun's story is only just beginning, and yeah they said they'd like to branch out to other regions, that doesn't mean a cameo or maybe another medium can't be used to continue that story (a book, perhaps??).

Anyway yeah those are my thoughts...

[milklovesbyler]

HOW AND WHY AND WHEN DID THE BYLER REALISATION HIT ME - RANT

okay this is long so skip to S4 section for the more interesting stuff/when i found out about byler!

hii okay my first post on this blog! im still pretty new to tumblr but learned that u can have multiple blogs and my mind is blown. i also have an art blog i post on once a millenia @milkymetari !

Ive been a stranger things fan since 2019 when i was 13!

So i started watching stranger things in 2019 after season 3 had came out and the series peaked my interest, ive always been a fan of scifi stuff and oh boy stranger things is so cool and (mostly) well written!

When i say i LOVED mileven im not kidding, I WAS OBSESSED. On the outside theyre a picture perfect cute teenage couple, and my idealisation of that (and cmon guys eleven is like the coolest character ever) and els badassness and powers, i loved mileven.

I mean as a concept their relationship is really cute if we read it as that but yeah i do NOT ship them anymore like that 😭

Yeah i remember myself sometimes wondering about the weird things in their relationship (the way they dont share almost any interests, only kiss and mikes weird actions) but i think due to heteronormativity (toxic ships are wayy too normalized also in lgbt media) and how poorly usually female characters (but in this case mike lmao) and their relationships are written in media so i guess i had just grown to try not to care, and yeah i was just 13.

So honestly i didnt see/know byler back then AT ALL! I grew up as a semi homophobic kid because thats what i was taught, but around the time i started watching ST i grew as a person a lot and i realised maybe my ass isnt as straight as i thought ☠️ Honestly wish i did know about byler since i think seeing mikes struggles (and wills) wouldve helped me a lot! 💔

I didnt think too deeply about any media i consumed at that age, and i was already used to just not care about bad writing so i thought flaws in mileven were normal writing mistakes etc. Or how the byler fight was clearly more intense than the mileven break up 😭😭

But again i did not catch onto it.

ST 4 in 2022!!

So the year is 2022 and i excitesly watch season 4 part 1. I usually try to avoid spoilers etc on the internet so i kept myself away from st tiktok and other platforms. After i finished it i saw like a shit ton of edits of all the characters and speculation about the last 2 eps.. THEN somewhere around that time it happened, i stumbled upon byler.

okay first, i need to talk about mileven a bit, the first few episodes it was sweet, but it was obvious el was lying and unhappy, i was hoping that mike would grow and learn to be a better boyfriend and theyd end up back together.

so about byler, first i thought it was like any other ship as usual and i wasnt as blind to homoerotic chemistry anymore so it wasnt anything new or surpricing.

well, what was surpricing was HOW FUCKING BLIND I HAD BEEN TO HOW MIKE AND WILL ACTED

i mean i was confused while watching part 1 for the first time but closeness between the two was nothing unusual, and mike lashing out on will had already happened in s3 too, but yeah i was so flabbergasted and embarrased how i hadnt noticed 😭 like girl, the lip staring, yearning gazes and awkward conversations

down the rabbit hole i went and hehe😈 i got my bestie into it too and she was like omg ur so right we both agree they are endgame bbecause like theres so much evidence its not a coincidence.

ill probably make a separate post on some of the genious thoughts we had about mileven and byler in 2022 lol

i hope someone read this all, thank you <3

[midlandslady]

So let me say this:

Geeta Patel wrote season 1 episode 8. That was one of my fave episodes ever! Viserys wishing for one last dinner with the entire family (poor Daeron LOL), Viserys so weak and frail entering the throne room to defend his beloved daughter (*forever emotional*), Daemon running from his spot to help Viserys to get on the throne and putting the crown on his head was so beautiful, Daemon cutting Vaemond's head for calling Rhaenyra a whore (most sexy moment in the entire show), the dinner with the family when Viserys begged for them to put aside their hatred and resentment because he loved them all and wished for them to be happy after his death (cries).

Geeta Patel wrote season 2 episode 3. What did we get in episode 3? Young Rhaenyra calling Daemon as soon as he steps in Harrenhal, Daemon crying for seeing young Rhaenyra with baby Jaeherys (again one of my favourite scenes in the entire tv show), Daemon in front of the weirwood trees and Alys telling him he will die there (poetic foreshadowing), Rhaenyra trusting that Daemon will give them an army if they allow him more time. Rhaenyra talking to Alicent in the same spot where they used to be friends and console each other (beautiful parallel). This is what I remember from episode 3. Did something else happen? Probably, I don't remember. Not to say that I don't care because I don't hate the greens (just Criston Cole most days and Aemond although he also intrigues me). Even Aegon is a very pitiful person. I find the entire story very tragic. And this episode touched my heart.

What else is Geeta Patel going to write? Season 2 episode 8 (season finale!!!!) And you know what she said to the interviewer?

"The other thing I got to set up that of course will pay off later is Daemon arrives to Harrenhal, and this is a new chapter for Daemon. This is where he will shift. He will for the first time look within himself... Harrenhal is a metaphor for what's inside Daemon's heart. In Episode 2, Rhaenyra pushed him away, and Rhaenyra is the first person he's ever really let into his heart and let his guard down with, and when he did she hurt him in Episode 2. She basically told him he was worthless, and so now his armor is on as he enters Harrenhal, but truthfully within his heart, the armor is shattered. So that's where the setup starts, and it will keep evolving until we get to Episode 8."

What does this sound like to you? To me, it sounds like music to my ears. Daemon's arc will pay off later... as in he will become a better person? Recognize his mistakes? Understand that Rhaenyra was right and deserves better (arguably but I will get there in a later post) and reconcile with her? Oh my!

He let his guard down when he let Rhaenyra in his heart and she hurt him 🥺 (he deserved it, kind of, I don't know if he deserved to hear that at the time but he surely deserved to hear it at some point).

His armor is on when he enters Harrenhal but within his heart, the armor is shattered!!!! 😭*pain*

I have always said that Daemon is one of the people who feels more deeply everything but he wears an iron mask, he puts up walls so high and hides his feelings through violence so no one can see how much he is hurting on the inside. I relate with that and maybe that's why I always understood him, always tried to see him between the lines of what he says or how he acts.

More than anything I want him to do the right, he doesn't need to be good, he can be flawed as we all are, but I want him to become a better man. His arc will keep evolving until episode 8 so we will see more hallucinations and more craziness but then one of these hallucinations will make him "shift" and I desperately want to see which one and how it happens.

I don't know if any of you watched Once Upon a Time but Emma and Killian were another of my 3 main OTPs and from the moment I saw Killian/ Hook I also envisioned the potential to be a great man. And I felt the same with Daemon from the first moment (of course it's GoT, so everything is more barbaric and ruthless but the essence is there).

Just please I hope he doesn't make more serious mistakes, so far he's not learning much with the visions, he is still committing war crimes to innocent people ("Do your worst, ser Willem." "Some things the crown should not be seen doing" - seriously? As if it won't backfire right away -_-), still clinging to the "I am the better fit to rule".

But these next 2 episodes will be crucial.

My last warning: Alys, stay away from him!

[nnnn99999]

This post is a result of a note that has been sitting in my drafts since the first episode. It was sitting there for so long because I was waiting for the series to end to see if they would continue this theme to the end, and they did. So here is my essay on family as one of the central themes of peaceful property.

Family has always been my top priority in life. This is actually one of the reasons why I was so touched by peaceful property. Because this series gave me so many different types of familial bonds, good and bad. Because of who I am, I have a hard time relating to romantic love. It's not that I can't feel romantic love, it's just I don't really understand it that well. I have a superficial idea of it, but I've never felt it myself. But familial love is something I can definitely relate to and understand, so peaceful property was such a comfortable watch for me.

So what is family? Or a better question might be, what makes someone family? Family is the people you love and trust unconditionally, the ones you want to stay with for the rest of your life, the ones you find comfort with in the hardest of times, the ones you want to protect with your life, the ones with whom you share such an unbreakable bond that no matter what happens you find your way back to them. You may or may not have blood ties with family, but you definitely have strong emotional ties that can't be broken. This is what family means to me.

From the very beginning, peaceful property gave us different types of families, most of which are non-traditional. Peach and Pangpang, Home and his grandfather and Somkid, Kan and her single father, Suradech as a loner, Rak with her parents and husband, the magician and his sick daughter, Phoom and Vicha, Rider and Tharnsai, Somkid and Yai and finally Home, Peach, Pangpang, Kan and Suradech- all of these are the different families I can remember from the show. (I might be missing some since I'm writing this whole thing from memory but if I don't remember it, it means I didn't care about it.)

My point is, from the very beginning, this show was exploring different kinds of family dynamics. At first, I thought this show wanted to say something about capitalism and classism. But by ep 4, I was questioning my own assumption. By ep 6, I had a new perspective. In my opinion, this show only introduced these topics because money, status and class determine how we interact with others and how we form bonds with others. This show was always about Home's journey to finding his family. It's just that his wealth and status, how these things had been used in his favor, how he has an impact on people who don't have these things, how people perceive him because of it, how his thought process and behavior is influenced by these - all of these affect Home's quest of finding a family. It's not just his personality that matters. His upbringing, his privilege, his lack of understanding of the world due to his privilege matter too.

This is where the different family dynamics come into play. Home, who has no idea about the true meaning of his own name, has to experience all of these different family dynamics to understand what having a family feels like. The goal of the show was clear from the begininning-what is the meaning of Home? No matter how you interpret it, it is clearly about Home's personal journey.

Family was always the driving theme of this show. All actions and motivations of the characters, be it the living or the dead, can be traced back to family in some way. The first ghost helped Home meet his new family, Peach and Pangpang take Home's offer for their family, Kan wanted revenge for family, Somkid became the way he did because of family, Phoom and Vicha ended up the way they did because of family, the magician resorted to playing tricks because of family, Chef Hong's ghost couldn't pass on because she considered Peach family. Most importantly, the main cast who became a family by the end of the show. And there is still so much more sprinkled throughout that I don't have the patience to mention.

At the end of the show, Home's answer to the question "what is home" was wherever feels like home is home. The answer I got from the show is slightly different, or maybe just a little better articulated than Home's answer. What is home? The answer the show gave me was, home is where family is.

[codthefishgod]

Haven't thrown an essay to the other Faroff fanatics recently and the new episode had a LOT of writing material SO I'M BACK TO BE THE FANDOM RANTER ✊

I apologise for my recent absence, I'll try to get back to doing my long ass Faroff posts more frequently again LMAO

(Split below for spoilers on episode 75 of Faroff)

I see you have opted in.

AHEM.

First off, MORE SONAN GOVERNMENT LORE!? Apparently things haven't always been this way... I sort of got that implication already from how Tobias talked about the Supreme Lord, particularly the way he said that he'd been making stupid rules "since he got chosen", but this confirms that the same thing applies to Sona as well. It was recent enough that Oskar remembers it, but still long enough ago that Fenn doesn't... Which is especially not good considering that many of the soldiers are likely around Fenn's age, so most of them also probably grew up in this time of being brainwashed to the absolute max, not knowing there was any other option. Awfully convenient for the king to have all those brainwashed soldiers though-

The fact that there used to be better, more just leaders on both sides also leads me to believe that maybe this war started after the current Sonan king and current Supreme Lord took power. They're both pieces of shit, must be made for each other, yes?

Anywho, touching on another detail during this flashback... THE PASSPORTS. THE MILLIONS OF PASSPORTS BEHIND OSKAR... I believe I smell rebel action, don't you? Not that surprising for Oskar, honestly. My friend ( @sunlikesdrawing ) suggested to me this theory, and I back it up in its entirety: Oskar may be using those passports to help people escape from Sona. Frankly, if I lived in Sona, I'd want the hell out of there too.

But this leads into another theory (again, credits to @sunlikesdrawing , I would not of thought of this on my own-), what if this is somehow connected to Fenn's eventual falling out with Oskar? What if, maybe, Oskar got caught? What if he's in prison right now? Of course Fenn would think him a traitor for defying the king...I also wonder if this happening made him even more extreme in his beliefs than he was. Time will tell, I suppose.

Alright, I believe that is all I have to point out about the flashback! Moving on to the rest of the episode.

There is one thing in particular that stood out to me. If you've been following my blog awhile and possess a strong memory, you might remember that I've done the math with all the dates + visual clues we've been provided thus far and came to the conclusion that it must be currently March of 1914. However, when the song ends, the radio states, "...their music first rising to fame after performing at a ball hosted by the Olvindar pillar family in 1914." Typically, when saying something like this, if it was still the same year, you'd say "earlier this year" or something else to that effect. Saying it happened "in 1914" implies that the year 1914 has already passed. Perhaps I need to recheck my math.

Alright, done with the serious stuff now. I love that Oskar is a constant reminder to Fenn that what he's doing with/for Tobias IS the right thing to do, no matter what the king says. It's very lovely. And the fact that Fenn remembered him saying "sometimes you need to do things that are good for your happiness" and immediately thought of Tobias... I wonder if this sentiment will at all help sway Fenn in pursuing Tobias in.... Forbidden relationships... He is good for Fenn's happiness, after all. We'll see. 👀

P.S. Fenn has the most appalling dance moves, I had to turn my phone off for a moment to process my second hand embarrassment when he started trying to dance- Tobias being super hyped to keep dancing with Fenn was ADORABLE, these fuckers are literally holding hands and dancing and it's WONDERFUL- also the sneak peeks for the next episodes!?!? I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEXT FAROFF MONDAY HOLY SHIT

[dcfanficsgallore]

I got you

Nightwing x GN!Reader

Warnings: Depressive episode, anxiety, minor suicidal thoughts, crying. But it has a happy ending. Hurt/comfort

1K words

Masterlist

Summary: You had a bad depressive episode, fortunately your boyfriend was there to cheer you up

A/N: Hiiii, I know this is a weird one to post but I just had one of the worst depressive episodes ever and after a long shower, this came out. It helped me to write out everything with my comfortiest character, I hope you enjoy it! DPFT 4 is coming I just needed to get this out of me first.

PS: This was written in, like, two hours not proofread at all Sorry!

Nightwing knew the second he got the notification on his mask, to drop everything and go back to your place. He gave you that for this specific reason and he would not disappoint when you actually used it. But first, he made a quick-stop.

After carefully opening the front door to the apartment and laying the bags he brought on the counter, he found you curled up on the couch, tear-stained cheeks staring into nothing, not even registering that he had arrived. This was a particularly bad depressive-episode and he knew that this would be difficult, but Dick Grayson isn’t one to leave when things are hard.

You felt the end of the couch dip slightly, you didn’t even remember calling him. Way inside your own mind to remember much but the little button with his symbol on it was in your hand. So that explained it.

- You came - You said, voice quiet still not meeting his eyes. You didn’t think he’d come, he has a whole city to protect, you’re far less important than the city. No one would notice if you just disappeared.

- I did. - He said scooching a little closer - What made you think I wouldn’t? - His tone was light, wanting you to open up but not pressuring either.

- I don’t know, I just… Thought you had more important things. I don’t want you to drop everything when I’m sad, I’ll be fine. - You said, still keeping your voice low, not trusting yourself to not burst into tears.

That when he decided to try and interlace your fingers together, when you didn’t push him away he kissed your fingers.

- You’re not just sad, and it’s the least I could do, you’ve been with me for so many of my worst moments I’m honored you called me.

- But, the city. You just left it alone, I can’t be more important than this place you just- - You started to ramble, repeating yourself, falling deeper and deeper. He saw this happening and put his other on top of yours, placing it on top of his heart. Grounding you as you felt his calm heartbeat.

- You ARE important to me, you are important to so many people. The city can exist without me, but I don’t know if I can without you - He said honestly and that broke through, you threw yourself on him sobbing and holding him for dear life, he still smelled like his cologne even though he’d been out fighting crime for a while. The smell brought you comfort. - You want to tell me what’s got you like this. - He spoke quietly into your ear holding you tightly, his arms protecting you from anything.

You told him about your day, and how you hadn’t been taking your meds for a couple days since they ran out and you didn’t have the energy to get more. Throughout it you never let go of him, he stayed still and listened intently, only letting out a low-hum when you mentioned your meds. 

- Do you feel better? - Dick asked softly - Or do I need to bring out my secret weapon? - He said with a little more joy, he knew that when you got it all out of yourself you were more susceptible to his games.

- What did you bring? - You said, a little smile forming. You knew he never half-assed his attempts to cheer you up, so of course he brought something. Even though just his presence was enough.

- It’s a surprise. - You pulled yourself out of his chest and pouted. You both knew he couldn’t resist it. So he covered his eyes, not wanting to fall prey to your charm.

- No fair. - you nudged his shoulder, he chuckled. Dick uncovered his eyes and smiled at you.

- I’m gonna prepare the surprise. Are you okay with picking a movie for us? - You knew what he was asking, he was asking if you needed him to stay with you some more. But you were better now that Dick had returned home, so you nodded.

After a few minutes you put on a musical for both of you to watch, and he returned to the living room. Balancing two cups of hot chocolate on one hand and two plates of pancakes on the other, all while humming a circus song. He really looks like a balancing act from the circus, or the beginning of a clown act if you didn’t help him.

- Grayson! You’re gonna drop them if you try this any longer - You lightly scolded him before taking the plates.

- I’d never put innocent pancakes on the line for a joke! - He retorted with a fake offended look.

- Pancakes? - You looked at the plates. - but it’s 10pm.

- You have school tomorrow? - He asked with a smirk - We’re both adults! We can eat whatever we want whenever we want.

- You’re right. - You said with a smile.

- I know.

You two sat down, ate your pancakes and drank your hot chocolates. It was perfect. By the end of the movie you felt yourself start to fall asleep, you held on a little longer just to see the ending. You started to cuddle closer to Dick and he to you. Eventually the movie ended and Dick saw you were fighting sleep so he decided to carry you to bed, he changed into his sleep clothes and got into bed with you. Wrapping his arms around you.

Before sleep could take you, a question popped into your head.

- You didn’t actually leave Blüdhaven alone did you? - You knew he must’ve left someone at least on lookout. But in your depressive state, you didn’t even think about it.

- I did not. - He answered - The Titans are protecting it.

- All of them? - He nodded - Isn’t that a bit overkill?

- So I could spend more time with you? Never. - You kissed him on the cheek for that response. 

After he said that, you felt like you actually were wanted. He actually liked you. You actually had someone who looked forward to seeing you. And that felt warm, and you let yourself sleep in his arms.

[horizon-verizon]

I’m not understanding where people are getting the fact that Mysaria and Rhaenyra had this buildup and chemistry when Mysaria‘s a dubious character who was previously allied to the Hightowers (paid generously with coin too) and just appears to be going along with the flow in order to survive. I took Mysaria’s decision to stay with Rhaenyra to show her she was grateful, but Rhaenyra trusting her right off the bat is definitely stupid. Trusting her enough to start making out with her levels of demented. I was completely fine with them writing Mysaria and Rhaenyra growing closer together like friends (but with Mysaria who knows if that would have been genuine anyway). Not to mention, the context of which the make out happened is disturbing asf. Mysaria wasn’t even actively seducing her. She literally opened up about the sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her father and then that happens ? Weird as fuck, and I don’t like people saying we’re out of whack for feeling put off. You can tell it was written for shock value. SMH.

So we're taking the show at face value for the moment...and yeah, I finally watched this one and not thru...yeah.

Rhaenyra has reason to "trust" Mysaria to at least not work against her bc she let her go when she asked to go AND Mysaria decided to pass up on her one moment to leave when she tried to warn them of Arryk. Mysaria didn't need to do that, but she did. Maybe as a quid pro quo or "You helped me out, I help you, we're even" sorta thing, but again, she didn't need to do it. She was going to be free. Also, the greens burned down any and most of al that Mysaria could've used to independently support herself even after she helped them out, so there's no way she'd think it'd be safe to work for them again totally of her own volition. IF we say she is always looking out for herself--which I can believe--than no, there's little reason to suspect she'd go back to the greens, again, of her own volition. They've shown how dangerously indifferent they are to her. Whereas Rhaenyra treated her as more a human being by allowing the thing she had asked for with no strings. Rhaenyra has far more reason to trust her than Aemond, Aegon, or Alicent to trust Larys, a far more dubious character.

I am also not totally sure it was written for shock value, or that there were no clues of their going this way. I remember maybe the episode before this one where Rhaenyra had stared at her for a little bit while they were in the library, and I felt that it was possible they'd sometime get closer bc Mysaria is giving Rhaenyra what she had been missing--assurance and ways to counteract the greens without making as if she is a disruptive force of "evil" (B&C, her argument w/Daemon). I didn't articulate it as Rhaenyra already having a pattern where she goes to others when Daemon seemingly abandons her, but I did feel that she'd feel close to Mysaria bc of what I already said. So there was a set up, but not a particularly long one.

Now, Mysaria's deciding to stay with Rhaenyra, I said in one post that it was a little weird since she previously asked to leave and wanted to leave so bad (since she was weary with dealing with selfish nobles whether it was to build a better and secure life for herself or to protect smallfolk). And it seems that the writers wish for us to feel that Mysaria feels Rhaenyra is worth staying for. For the sake of helping the smallfolk and assuring this particular ruler gets the throne and not a green.

So far we haven't heard her say to Rhaenyra or anyone on Dragonstone that she's more concerned with the smallfolk other than to present it as an angle for how Rhaenyra can strike against the greens. But we do know that she does genuinely care for how she passionately prioritized them to Otto back in 1x09. So it is also, so far, reasonable to believe that she stays for either "teaching" Rhaenyra--this person she may feel can be shown how to direct her focus a little more on smallfolk's lives generally--or to stay and make sure this war doesn't ravage or deprive the smallfolk of whatever succor they may have in its duration, as she stays beside Rhaenyra to ensure it. So yeah, gratefulness was definitely a start, but a small motivation.

Now, about the incestuous rape story, I don't think she was coldly calculating there. I truly think she was trying to allay R's frustrations and wanted to connect. I also still think that in the newness of this connection, she could be trying to assure she stays beside Rhaenyra by providing a "patron" what they desire.

In my last post that I wrote about this ship, I said:

The last few episodes, however, we saw her decide to leave it all behind and preserve her life and sanity after some green burned down her home and ruined her life. We are meant to judge that Mysaria stays despite her previous plans bc she sees Rhaenyra as worthy enough to serve or bc she feels the most "equal" she has ever felt. But I wonder is what Mysaria if Mysaria still feels like she has to cater towards another "patron" not necessarily for/with sex and she is more concerned with getting an angle than a relationship.

I think all this "could" happen/be real bc we, again, have not really seen characters in their own lives pre-war, so a lot of stuff could happen and you'll need to watch the next episodes to know for sure.

[j0hb0y]

Hiya Papaya! 👋

Someone online (I actually forgot who it was though and cannot find the message anymore) recommended to me Haibane Renmei with the quick summary of "It’s about a sort of afterlife where haibane need to figure out what to do to ascend.". I decided to give it a go, which was a good decision! I can really recommend you to watch it too! It's even better if you do that and then come back to this post and read the rest. However, I felt like this anime is not about "ascending" or "reincarnation". Personally, it's about moving forward with your life. (Spoiler warning obviously and I should mention that I have no clue about psychology and english isn't my first language, so I could confuse some phrasings.)

If you didn't watch it, let me clarify some small things:

There are angel-like people called the Haibane, born from cocoons, who cannot remember anything except for the dream they had just before.

The walls encase a town called Glie and some landscape with buildings (e.g. Old Home), forests and many plots of land

Nobody is allowed to touch the wall (or go even near it) or go behind the wall except the Toga and animals like birds (e.g. Crows which play a big role)

An organization called the Haibane Renmei takes care of the Haibane and their head is the communicator.

Being Sin-Bound means that a Haibane didn't have a dream and don't get their Day of Flight.

I'll also try to write this essay chronologically, so along what we learn in each episode.

So let's talk about my view on what story the anime is trying to tell. I believe Haibane Renmei talks about being able to take a step towards the future.

In episode 1 we learn that the one and only thing that the haibane remember is the dream they had before waking up in a cocoon, for example: falling, being surrounded by sparkling light, getting run over by a train or just sleeping. You can either interpret this as how they died or their plan to end their lives. In my opinion, it's the latter one because it makes more sense why they arrive in Glie and inside the walls separating the town from the outside world. We'll talk about it at a later point. So, the Cocoon represents coming out of their shell and getting help on their own. That's why it's a custom that one should break out of their own cocoon. It's like the haibane has regained their will to live and tries to improve their lives by getting help. Which is quite a tough thing to do. The part where a haibane doesn't remember anything besides the dream and getting a new name could be seen as a metaphor for restarting from zero and leaving the regrets (or anything similar) behind.

During episode 2 we also learn that there are not just angel-like Haibane in Glie, but instead they are allowed to stay by the normal people living there. The townsfolk are really nice people too, so I think these people personify a safe space where the Haibane can work and get back into a rhythm and normalcy. Additionally, in episode 4, Kana also mentions that the town is extremely protective of them, further strengthening this argument. This idea of Glie as a safe space is also represented by the communicator, who helps the Haibane and has them live in a controlled space so they can focus more on moving forward.

The next big thing that happens in this anime is Kuu having her Day of Flight (episode 6). I believe that this event is a signal that the Haibane has finally "solved"/worked out their problem and broke free of it. From my point of view, it seemed like Kuu figured out that she doesn't need to be like everybody else. The first clothing item she bought was a jacket in a larger size, the size of the other girls. She also tried to be like them by wearing Hikari's glasses or riding Reki's scooter. However, Kuu said to Rakka "You gave me some of the drops, Rakka.". Drops were filling a cup (in her mind) and it got completely full. On that same day, Kuu had her Day of Flight. In episode 3, Kuu said that she hoped that Rakka would be a little sister and seemed happy when Rakka called her senior. I think that made her realize that she doesn't need to be like everyone else; she can be herself and still be a senior. Kana also confirmed that in episode 6 by saying that "I think she no longer has to pretend to be what she isn't anymore." and "[...] but maybe she's grown up in her own way.". Meaning she's able to move forward towards the future. Having her Day of Flight. After Kuu had left, the only thing that remained was a few feathers and her halo. This can be a metaphor for stripping off that feeling that she's not like others. Like she's regained her humanity and not feel alienated.

Sadly, Rakka couldn't get over Kuu leaving and is in a really depressed state (episode 7). So much so that black spots appeared on her wings, which Reki recognized. This is where we learn about being sin-bound. (Note: I'm jumping between the crow and sin-bound themes since both of them are deeply connected) I think that being sin-bound signals someone that has given up or is about to. In episode 8, Rakka is led by crows to a well to meet someone. That someone is a skeleton of a crow. However, she recognizes the bird by saying "You've taken the form of a bird now, but it feels like I had known you from somewhere, a long time ago.". Furthermore, she adds "I can't even remember my name. [...] So I can't remember who you are. Except that you're somebody precious to me. I was always lonely. And I thought nobody would grieve, even if I was gone. So I wanted to disappear. But you were by my side. You became a bird to go over the walls and let me know that I was not alone." These sentences give us a lot of information. She wants to disappear. She even thought/dreamed "My existence should be erased from the world.", when she was unconscious in the well. Due to her feeling lonely, she thought that she didn't belong in this world. That's why it hit her so hard when Kuu left.

The crows play a huge role in the anime too. In episode 4, Kana said these things about the crows "They're said to carry lost items.", "Things we left behind and forgot when we went into the cocoons." and Kuu also talked with Rakka about them in episode 3 "But I think they want to be friends with us.". It seems to me that the crows represent someone or something that is connected to past regrets/problems. But instead of being hurtful, they're trying to help so that the Haibane can be free again. Free from being sin-bound. That is why the crows led Rakka to the well. This thesis is further proven by the fact that Rakka wants to return to her dream and apologize to the crow (episode 9), which is directly followed by the communicator saying "One who recognizes their own sin, has no sin." Side note: They also talk about sin-bound itself, that "Perhaps that is what it means to be bound by sin. To keep going around in the same circle looking to find where the sin lies and at some point losing the sight of the way out." When Rakka got back to Old Home, Reki noticed that the black spots were completely gone. Meaning that Rakka is no longer sin-bound and has let go of her past regrets, she actually confirms this at the end of the episode too.

Speaking of Reki, she's another sin-bound. That's the reason why she knew so much and was able to help Rakka this often. Since Rakka has recovered, she and the communicator got to have a talk in episode 11 about Reki. There she learns that "She is still lost in the dark. Rakka, you had the bird come to you enabling you to fill in the missing pieces of your memories. However, Reki has no one. She must face the darkness in her mind, on her own." From what we learn throughout the last 3 episodes, I'm positive that Reki's regret is similar, if not the same as Rakka's regret. Reki is alone but, in contrast to Rakka, she felt betrayed by everyone "Every time I trusted someone, I always ended up being betrayed." (episode 13) because everyone leaves her side. When Kuu had her Day of Flight, she said to herself "In the end, everybody leaves me.", just like when Kuramori (a Haibane who took care of her) was gone or she and Hyouko (a Haibane from the Abandoned Factory nest) weren't allowed to go to each other's district. She was afraid to hurt somebody she trusts and get hurt by them. As a result, she stopped trusting everybody and became a "stone" by closing her heart (episode 13). Even Rakka noticed that in episode 11 "Because she doesn't want to worry anyone and because she doesn't want to lean on anyone, she just smiles.". In the last episode (13), Reki also remembers her dream; in that dream, Reki is run over by a train: "It's an iron rail that carries something. This is where... I abandoned myself.". So not only has she "[...] lost the people that she could share her sorrow with.", but also herself. Additionally, her time is limited as she was ready to vanish, leaving nothing. "Soon, I will be forgotten by everybody and vanish. Where did I go wrong?" And if she was not rescued and forgiven by Rakka, she would've gotten hit by that train. She would've died if she hadn't found the last remaining energy to call for help. To put it bluntly, this is a direct comparison to suicide. Reki had given up on her life and wanted to end it because "[...] no matter how much I wished for it no salvation has ever come to me!". She was afraid that no one would come to her aid if she asked for help. But at the same time, Reki didn't want to die. She wanted to be just like Kuramori, helping the newly hatched Haibane and that's why she called for Rakka and was "forgiven". Rakka found the answer to the question of the circle of sin (episode 12): "The one who recognizes one's own sin has no sin. You cannot help going in circles if you are alone, but if you have someone by your side..." and together they broke free and both of them were no longer sin-bound. The same night Reki had her Day of Flight.

So what happens after the Day of Flight? For that, we got to talk about the walls that encase Glie. We go a few episodes back, specifically episode 9, when Rakka touched the wall because she heard laughter coming from it. Rakka even recognized it as Kuu's voice. Then she has another conversation with the communicator and we learn that "Only those whom the walls recognized as ready to live outside may go beyond the walls." which implies that the Day of Flight is someone ready to live a normal life again. However, Rakka falls ill shortly after (but this time it's not because of being sin-bound). In episode 10 we learn from the communicator that "Even a good Haibane must be punished if she touches the wall.". I think that the walls are a metaphor for a limit and you should not overstep or push too hard to get back on track. I firmly believe that the walls also act as a reminder to take your time to heal, let go of regrets, ask for forgiveness and when you're ready, aka the day of flight, you can go outside and go towards the future.

While working inside the walls (to collect light leaves), Rakka has to wear a robe as protection. I imagine this acts as guidance to avoid overstepping the limit too. Inside the walls there are tags on walls with names written on them. In episode 12 we get to understand that these are the names of the Haibane. Furthermore, the communicator explains "It is proof that the Haibane attained a true identity. When the time comes the name on the tag hanging from the wall is changed to the true name." I'm positive that its meaning is that the Haibane is not someone new, but rather the Haibane did (re)find their real selves. The real self who was lost and can move towards the future.

Of course there are some things that I cannot interpret or some that don't really fit, for example, the Toga (people who come from outside the walls to do trade and only the communicator is allowed to talk to them) or sentences like "As you cannot remember the world you used to be in... nobody in this world remembers you.". However, it's stated that "[...] The creators have deliberately maintained this ambiguity and refused to elaborate on these points in interviews, with Yoshitoshi Abe stating he doesn't want to impose his personal views on the viewers."(Source: Wikipedia) and I'm misusing that as an excuse to not be able to explain everything, hehe.

To put it in a nutshell, given the arguments above, the safe space being Glie, being sin-bound represents giving up and from what we learn of the walls. I'm firmly convinced that anime's key motif is going forward and not reincarnation. Anyway, I'm grateful to you for reading my thoughts and opinions! And I hope that you'll share yours with me. :D

On a side note: The communicator leaves Reki alone after their conversation in episode 10 with the following sentences: "You have always been there for Rakka. You have been doing the right thing. And now, you must not be envious of Rakka for moving forward.".

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

2023, it cannot be overstated, was a terrible year for me. We started out strong with an episode of True Love that turned out in fact to be entirely false and not reciprocated. (I've got over that, finally, but it was awkward... I posted about it a bit at the time, along with a lot of what I'm about to tell you.) Anyway, I also basically didn't eat for two weeks in January: only partially related to that. February was even more terrible, but with one bright spot: the terribleness pushed me to finally seek professional help for my longstanding anorexia. I was finally going to choose to recover and it would never bother me again.

Haha anyway I was also severely depressed and anxious so that happened. I had a good solid try at recovery and it seemed like it was going pretty well for a while, yay. Went back to uni after a year out, in the middle of the year. Ended up living with my brother 'just for the semester and after that you've got to find your own accommodation' (I'm still at his place). Anyway things got real bad and I honestly can't remember most of that patch, but I can still see the scars.

Anyway. You're probably wondering why I'm saying this stuff. In November, December, I can't remember precisely when, the Inklings Christmas challenge got posted.

Severely depressed, barely doing anything, only surviving and waiting for things to get better while doctors assessed me to figure out what was going on behind the major depressive disorder (spoiler: undiagnosed ASD), I said, well, why not. I still had remnants of my previous overachieving nature, so why not write something for all twelve days of Christmas, not just a single short story or scene? And I dug back in my memory for the fragments of a plot I worked out when I was twelve years old, remembered the characters, remembered that the main character was one I'd internally laughed about accidentally making autistic in the past.

So I went, what if I just pretend that the story I'd imagined was five years earlier, pretend that the novel I had never written was actually written, and write a slice-of-life sequel to it, featuring the same characters? I remember going to a session with my psych at the time and telling her about this story, but vaguely and quickly, because we were going to run out of time. I talked like I intended to and expected to finish it, but internally, I was going: I will not finish it. I've already proven that I cannot stick to things. (I have a lot of fragments of writing from that year which I will likely never finish, and which had no deeper structure than whatever occurred to my medication addled brain.)

And I went, what should I name this story? It's got to have the word Patience in there, because her name is Patience and it amuses me and amusement is running real freaking thin at the moment. I tried out several titles, none of which I can remember, and none of them suited. At last, because the word hope had been rotating within my brain for so long, I picked The Patience of Hope, and I drew graphics and titled all the chapters and did research to title them and I can't remember any of it anymore so I don't know why I gave them the titles I did.

I think I scheduled about chapter three before chapter one dropped on Christmas Day. I remember there being author's notes that at least hinted that I'd entirely pre-written it, because I'd intended to do so, when I wrote the author's note for the very first chapter. But most of them I wrote on the day they were supposed to drop.

I don't think anyone read it at the time; I certainly don't remember such a thing happening, though after it was completed people did read it, and do still. (It's still on my website, and also on my ao3 under the title mentioned above.) But I wrote it, this silly little thing that spawned a whole character and series of novellas I haven't finished yet. More than one character, actually; one of the main characters is Nathan, who didn't exist in my original concept at all. And another character mentioned is Hannah, her aunt, whose storyline is deeply personal to me.

I can't remember how long it is. The writing is at times very bad and the storyline vague and choppy. I had no true plans when I started writing that story: not even to finish it. It does qualify as a novella for length, but I forget where in that wide range it comes in. But I finished it.

That... meant the world to me, actually, in the state I was in. I finished it in January, and two weeks later I was being very seriously told by my doctor that if anything got any worse, in any way, I was to immediately present to emergency and request/demand admission. They didn't; I was prescribed medication that, this time, actually helped to manage the whole crisis thing going on, and I haven't been that close to an admission since (nor needed to be, not really).

So The Patience of Hope is very special to me, as you can see, because I completed it at a time I felt so strongly that I couldn't complete anything except - well, I don't suppose I have to elaborate. It's a fun, fluffy little story with underlying angst and stress and grief but above it all, it's cheerful. A romance begins, which surprised me, because I was literally just writing whatever came into my head, and apparently what came into my head was a character who hadn't been previously mentioned or thought of, asking Patience out on a date.

And the way Nathan accepts and understands and loves Patience for herself and not for what he hopes that she will be (if my phrasing seems odd, it's a Carpenters reference - "Love Me For What I Am") was healing to write. The entire story was written between when I started being assessed for ASD and when I was officially diagnosed, and I can really really see in Patience's words what I felt and still do sometimes feel - the hesitation and uncertainty and distrust of oneself. She was the first character I ever wrote who was stated to be autistic, though I'd written ones before deliberately making them autistic in my head, but they never said they were autistic on the page.

I don't remember the timeframe of the next bit, but there was a writing challenge to write a novel from start to finish in - six months, I think? It was a while. - and I saw it and went, oh, I could go back and write the novel about Patience that I first conceptualised.

Which I did, over the next few months. From start to finish, that draft is eighty-four thousand words in its current, unedited form, and I expect it to end up somewhere between eighty and ninety thousand - I always edit down on a sentence level, and up on a scene and chapter level, so it tends to balance out somewhat. Especially the earlier sections, it's pretty sparse before I hit my stride, and I also struggled to finish it in a way that felt satisfying to me, and I need to build up the community aspect more - and introduce her aunt Hannah more throughout.

What's the novel about, you may ask? And don't ask for the title, because I made a working title, and I haven't figured out a proper replacement yet. The novel is about Patience at a younger age, I forget what; early teens, I think, self-isolating and shy and scared and very very rigid. (It's a lot of fun comparing the Patience of this novel to the much more relaxed, but still characteristic Patience of The Patience of Hope five or seven years later. She's the same person, only grown up rather, and in a very positive way.)

In a mechanism I haven't yet worked out properly and will definitely be rewriting, she unexpectedly gains an adoptive sister, Rhona - named after a tea cosy in a pattern book I used when I was eleven or twelve to knit an atrocious and very wonky stuffed dog. Anyway, Rhona is a bit younger, a bit more extroverted, a bit prettier and a bit more new and exciting. And a bit disruptive to Patience's neatly ordered life.

Cue emotional explosions I'd compare to Holly and Lucy in Lockwood and Co., and say it was based on that, if I'd read that before I planned this book out. Rhona is doing her best to fit in to the family, but she's also showing up Patience's inability to fit in, so there's insecurity tying in to it.

Patience spends most of the book hating her with a passion of greater or lesser intensity despite everything Rhona tries to do to bridge the gap. And then, in a move unrepentantly stolen from Jean Webster's Dear Enemy, the house burns down. Oh, the horror! Oh, the shock! Oh, the fact that Patience was the only one within range of Rhona and had to drag her out! Oh, the hospital whump afterwards! *coughs* Forget I said that last one. Anyway Rhona gets off pretty lightly, while Patience... does not get off so lightly. She spends a while in hospital, but luckily, the combination of everything brings her and Rhona together finally, and they all live happily ever after.

Well, that's what the original plan said, anyway. Back when I was twelve and didn't know interpersonal dynamics.

While it's true that the house burning down and everything associated with that does help Patience and Rhona to get along better, that's not the end of the book. The house burns down at the turn between parts two and three, fifty-three thousand words in. Any mathematicians reading this will observe there are still thirty thousand words to go. There are nine chapters in each part.

The last three chapters total fifteen thousand words between them. My original plan calls for three thousand word chapters. Again, the mathematicians are going to observe that this doesn't add up. These chapters average out five thousand words each.

That's because I really wanted to mention one specific character earlier in the novel, who gets a passing and no longer timeline compliant mention in The Patience of Hope. Patience's aunt Hannah, who, yes, I named after myself, and who also struggles with anorexia nervosa.

Chapter twenty-five is titled, "A Will to Live". Originally intended to be about Patience's depression following her discharge from hospital after the house burned down, and then regaining her mental equilibrium, it became a bitter sarcasm that hurt every time I re-read the title while I was drafting it.

(I did cry quite a bit about this, including while actively writing. Sobbing and still writing the next sentence. I hope it comes across in the final work.)

Because Hannah does not win her battle. She is not a success story, or a happy ending, or a triumph. She dies alone in an apartment that hasn't been cleaned for weeks, fridge almost empty: two days before she's agreed to go into treatment. There are three big killers in anorexia: suicide, heart failure and malnutrition. And Hannah Shepherd dies of heart failure, leaving, as I heard in a video I strongly do not recommend, recently, "a bleeding, girl-shaped hole in her family".

It's traumatic and horrible and full of grief, but they manage somehow to go on. Patience is kept in the dark as to what's going on, at Hannah's request; she just knows that she died of some sickness. After all, she's at THE prime age to develop an eating disorder of her own, and even though you'd think someone dying would make you reconsider, unfortunately, eating disorders are mental illnesses and don't discriminate. (Besides, I wrote this story, and Karen Carpenter is a special interest of mine. Doesn't stop me relapsing.)

And then three chapters later (though, realistically, I'm going to rearrange the chapter balance to add at least one more here, since I struggled to fill a few of the chapters in terms of word count), the story's over, and everything is okay - just okay, not good, but with hope that it will be.

The first draft has been finished for - I don't know how long. Looking back to former posts makes it seem like I finished it on the last day of April last year, which would make it eight months and 21 days since I completed the draft. I think that's long enough to go back and redraft, don't you? I was working on continuing to draft Vaniah's story, but given that it's not singing to me right now, maybe I should jump in to editing this and see where I get to - I can always go back to Vaniah and Anneka instead, even though I've left them at a profoundly difficult spot. (While we're on the topic of dying from anorexia? Yeah. Except that is a story of recovery and hope.)

All that to say, you might hear more about Patience, and Rhona, and Jude, and Marcia, and Hannah, and Nathan, and everyone else that makes that story what it is, soon. I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and I really do think Patience's story needs to be refined, so that eventually I can show the world. If anyone wants, I can pull out excerpts too, if I'm brave enough. Please tell me your favourite aspect of this story, whether the novel or The Patience of Hope or whatever it may be. Ask me questions. I can ramble. Please.

[indieyuugure]

First off, I freaking love your comics. They are the reason I wake up way too early some Saturdays and actually sleep Friday nights (not tonight obviously, but still!) it’s so much fun waiting for the next update because I know it’s all going to be AWESOME!!!!

Seriously though it was because of your art that I was able to draw Casey Jones, and have him turn out so good!!!! I wnded up loving how he looked because I totally used your comic panels as references. I was even able to submit an accordion book of Casey WIPs for my last art class of high school!! I’m not the most confident artist so my personal style is whack, sometimes it’s recognizable and sometimes it’s just shapes on a page, but I enjoy writing and painting. Traditional art kicks my backside dang hard, girl. Btw what do you use to create the comics? I think I remember a post a while back about an iPad, but I don’t know.

I honestly was so freaking panicked when I realized Donnie was flipping dying but calmed a bit since then knowing we’re nearing the end, but I’m wondering how many updates there will be left because the family should probably get back to being turtles and Donnie having that self acceptance about being a turtle. If that’s where you decide to take the story, but comfort is definitely needed for the poor guy. *hugs Donnie and offers hand for you to join bc we all know this turtle be needing some love rn with all the glorious angst that be happening*

*also wonders if you’re going to sell TMS to as a colored comic as well once it’s officially done*

Aw, thank you very much! It means a lot to read that 🥰💕 (though please try to sleep, sleep is important to your health!)

OMG THAT’S SO AWESOME! I’m so happy my comics were able to help you with an art assignment! And hey, I didn’t use to be a good artist either, just keep working at it and you’ll get better and better! They say it’s 100 hours to be proficient, 10,000 to be a master.

Yes! I use an iPad Pro and Apple Pencil. The app I use is called Clip Studio Paint, it’s a bit complex, but once you get the hang of it it’s incredibly powerful and has a lot of tools. I was able to learn how to use it in a weekend so it’s too insanely complicated.

lol, don’t worry! They all become turtles in the end! (The next episode they mutate back) There are currently 2 more updates left for you guys and then it’ll be on to Indie TMNT! I very much hope to get it printed, I have some ideas of how to make it easier/cost me less, but I’ll have to see how it all goes.

Good questions! :]

[library-of-confusion]

The Well With No Bottom

I've been meaning to write a post for all of the Louis haters out there who say that he never gave back any of the love that Lestat was constantly pouring out on him, but I got so caught up in the research that I never actually got around to actually writing the thing.

The main point that I want to make here is that Louis' love for Lestat is just as passionate as Lestat's love for him, if not more so. He just expresses it in a very different way. From books, to big screen, to theatre and television series, Louis has always been far more emotionally repressed than Lestat. Hell, most of the world is far more emotionally repressed when compared to the King of Emotional Expression himself! Louis loves Lestat fiercely, but in his own quiet way.

In Episode 1, on the night they first meet, well before any physical intimacy between the two had ever occurs, Louis, who should be furious with Lestat for snatching Lilly away from him, instead can think of nothing but Lestat. "My body was seized with weakness. His gaze tied a string around my lungs and I found myself immobilized." If that's not love at first sight, I don't know what is. He's fallen head over heels in mere minutes.

As their friendship progresses, Louis refers to Lestat as his "coal fire" in a cold winter. He points out that, for the first time ever, he found himself confiding his struggles to another man. While confiding in a friend is completely normal, the way it surprises Louis and catches him off guard is not. It becomes obvious that this relationship means something more than friendship to Louis.

Then, of course, we have the scene at the townhouse when Louis finally sets his pent-up desires free. It was him who made the first move to kiss Lestat, not the other way around.

And who initiates that kiss in the church, just before Lestat gives Louis the blood?

It's also important to remember the unreliable narrator of this tale. Louis has clearly left out many moments in his relationship with Lestat that would help the viewer to see it through his eyes. Lestat himself mentions some of these moments in Episode 2, when he starts out by calling Louis angry, stubborn, unaccommodating and maddening then changes his tone to remind Louis that he is also loving, dedicated and thoughtful. Louis may have failed to mention all the moments that cause Lestat to describe him in this way, but Lestat lets us know that they did happen and that no one has ever displayed these admirable qualities to him in quite the same way that Louis has.

While Lestat lavishes praise on Louis to make him feel better after almost killing his nephew, Louis tells Daniel of his feelings for Lestat. "There was present a kind of worship, on my part. The earth beneath me always felt liquid." How many of us can say such a thing about a lover?

To please Lestat, Louis attends another opera. He simmers in indignation as he plays the part of Lestat's valet and walks a few steps behind Lestat instead of by his side, where he wants to be. He tolerates the stares and comments of those around him to ensure that Lestat has a good time. He even drinks from the Tenor with Lestat, pretending to be enthralled by the experience because he doesn't want to disappoint. Louis sets aside his own comfort and happiness for Lestat.

"Aren't I enough?" Louis asks, in Episode 3, about Lestat's little fling with Antoinette. This question comes from a place of utter vulnerability. Louis is admitting his own jealousy and insecurity. And we all know how well Lestat's reaction went over. Of course, by the end of the episode, Louis shoots back at Lestat. Already upset about the way he is being treated and over his complete loss of control with killing Alderman Fenwick, Louis gets angry with Lestat and tells him that the two of them are never going to work and that Lestat will always be alone. He hits where it hurts the most. To quote author Valarie Kaur, "The opposite of love is not rage. The opposite of love is indifference." If Louis didn't love Lestat as much as he does, he couldn't be so passionately infuriated by him. If he didn't love Lestat, he would have no desire to harm him in a moment of rage.

Another perfect example of the above is in Episode 6 when Louis swims across the Mississippi River to confront Lestat about the song. "I hate you," may be the truth in that very moment, but can we truly know hate if we haven't first experienced love?

Also in Episode 6, Louis confesses that despite all that has happened between them, he still loves Lestat with a wounded heart. This is one of the few times that Louis actually uses the "L" word to express what he feels for Lestat. Lestat points out that the way Louis has been killing animals and how he acts somewhat superior about it makes Lestat feel as if he is being looked down upon for his body's needs. Claudia agrees. Once again, without an ounce of consideration for his own comfort or desires, Louis decides, on the spot, that he will hunt humans again for Lestat and for their family.

Episode 7 is a wealth of evidence to support Louis' love for Lestat. Yes, he's agreed to help Claudia with her plot to kill Lestat, but that doesn't make his feelings for Lestat any less valid than they have been all along. Claudia wants him to be a distraction for Lestat, to give Lestat all of his heart while she plans the rest. "I can't do that. I'll lose myself in him," is Louis reply. He knows that if he falls back into old feelings, he won't be able to turn them off. The connection between himself and Lestat is too strong.

When Louis first catches sight of Lestat at the Mardi Gras Ball, he is overwhelmed by conflicting emotion. "A cascade of feelings came over me as I watched him sponge up the adoration. I wanted him dead. I wanted him all to myself." And by the time their last dance begins, Louis has lost himself entirely. "It was my sole duty to distract Lestat, but in his mirrored eyes, the distraction reflected back onto me. And in the dead center of the whispering gallery, I lost the thread to my plotting and fell once more into the well with no bottom. I was his and he was mine." If his words were filled with any more adoration, they would be in a book of love poetry.

Once again, who make the first move to steal a kiss in front of a speechless crowd?

So, to the haters out there who say that Louis is ungrateful and that the only love he ever gave to Lestat was fake or for his own hateful purposes... what in the hell were you watching?