#writing requires much brain

[tenspontaneite]

will you put out any more of your Assembly fic ? i remember seeing you had some more chapters planned after 7 and it's my favourite rain world fanfic

Yes, I will. I have simply been Having A Time lately and writing basically fuck all 👌👌

Been doing more art than anything else honestly. On a related note, I recommend anyone who doesn't want to see art for unpublished assembly or post assembly stuff filter the tag 'assembly spoilers'. It'll be relevant. Honestly it's already relevant, I should probably tag a few things.

[elliewiltarwyn]

Roevember Day 12: Free Day (Crossover)

"Ka..."

"...me..."

"...ha..."

"...me..."

"...HAAAAAAA!!!!"

(I've been coping with [gestures at fucking everything] by having Dragon Ball Z Kai running almost constantly on the second monitor, so for lack of a better idea for the free day, Goku is my savior. thank you, goku.)

[giddlygoat]

being adhd is crazy ill spend all day worrying that i’ve forgotten something, triple checking my calendar and my messages to make sure i haven’t missed an appointment or left someone hanging, and it still happens anyway. incredible

[rapidhighway]

i should make a drawing. that would be so dope man

[dollxhime]

BSD Rarepair Week: day 2, 3 & 6

💐 // Pining

Lucy wasn't into girls. Or at least she thought so.

It's not like she had time to think about romance before when her life revolved around needing to be useful or else she'd be thrown away like a rag doll that had no value.

Ever since Lucy had started working at the Uzumaki, she would get up early, get ready, do the dishes downstairs and prepare fresh coffee just before opening hour. She could have a share of it too; the owners were very nice to her and she was grateful for that.

Her usual routine had become something so average, so normal, it slowly began giving her time to think about other things instead of obsessing over usefulness. And that's where she comes in.

'I'll have something that helps pick me up', she would usually say. And just as asked, Lucy would bring it to her and go back to her usual chores behind the counter. And then one of those days went differently.

"Hey, waitress. Lucy, was it?"

She looked up from the soapy dishes in her hands to look at the doctor. "Yeah, what do you want?"

"I have some shopping to do today. Want to come with?" she said nonchalantly.

Huh???

"Come with you??? Why?" was all she could blurt out.

"Do you ever do anything else with your time other than working at the cafe? Every woman could use some 'ladies time out' now and then."

Lucy didn't even have time to ask where she was getting at; when she realized, she was already being dragged out the door. Though she protested and flailed her arms in the first moment, she had no choice but to eventually surrender to the doctor's will.

And when she realized again, she was actually having fun.

She had never had friends so she had never done the kind of stuff friends do together like the pointless talks while roaming around doing window shopping, trying out dresses and makeup, stopping at someplace to have tea and snacks.

"No one ever wants to come along," Yosano casually complained. "So thank you for coming with me. It's much less boring with company."

"It's not like I had a choice anyway..." Lucy pouted, making the doctor smile at her.

"But you had fun, didn't you?"

Yosano arched her brows, the shameless smile of someone who knew a little too much plastered on her face when Lucy looked away angrily and flushed.

"Well-"

"If you'd like, we could do this more times. I had fun too," she asked without waiting for Lucy to voice out her fake complaints.

And after that, Lucy started looking forward to it every weekend without even realizing it. She couldn't see the smile that appeared on her face whenever the time came to hang her apron and leave with the doctor in tow, but everyone noticed.

Lucy could try denying it all she wanted but she came to enjoy the company. Her heart beat fast and her face flushed when the doctor complimented her appearance when an outfit looked good on her, for once she'd feel beautiful. And when they exchanged words about their interests, she would feel compelled to want to know more even when the things they liked were so mismatched it was almost like they lived in different worlds.

She wanted to listen and see more. What was the perfume she used? It had a really good fragrance. She had very pretty nails too, she once noticed when they were sharing nail polish tips. And was it too weird if she wondered if the lipstick she wore had a peachy taste like she imagined? Better leave that thought well-kept, it is weird.

And then one night as she was getting ready to go to bed, it hit her.

Wait a minute.

Could she possibly...? be crushing on the doctor???

She wasn't into women, was she? The first time she had ever felt that kind of longing toward someone, it had been that stupid tabby cat but he was so dense he couldn't pick up a hint to save his sorry life, much so she figured it would be easier to just bottle it up and give up on it. Thing is, he was a guy. What was with this new development???

No, that couldn't be. She was just overreacting... right? It was the first time she had gotten direct and constant attention and affection from someone else, a very pretty woman whom she wanted to become friends with at that... So she was just thrown off balance like that because it was something so new she didn't know how to process it.

That must be it.

The next time she saw Yosano after all that self-questioning was the time that put the last nail in the coffin and diagnosed Lucy with terminal gay and she could no longer deny it.

"Mornin', Lucy!" she greeted spiritedly. "Ready to go?"

The simple mention of her name made her heart race so fast it felt like she needed to gulp very hard to send it back to her chest. Lucy glared at the doctor with a bewildered look while her face went through all the shades from pink to red one could find in a paint catalog before rushing out the door.

"SORRY! SOMETHING CAME UP TODAY!!!"

Yosano stared at the cafe's door flipping on its hinges, confused.

🌹 // Lucy

Okay, I thought to myself.

You can't keep avoiding her forever, it's been weeks. Just keep it together and act normally. If I end up losing her because of this streak of screw-ups, I'll be very upset with myself. If possible, I wanted to keep being friends at the very least.

Yeah. I did it once, I can do it again.

The bell on the cafe's door rings once it's flung open and my heart skips a beat as soon as I see her. Our eyes meet and I feel myself steering back and before she approaches the counter, I flee into the kitchen's backroom.

I can't do it at all!

Grunting in frustration, I force my brain. Think, Lucy, think. You have to do something, you can't keep just running away forever.

My eyes notice the notepad we use to account for inventory and an idea comes to me: if I get too nervous to even say anything, I could write down a note and give it to her.

I pat onto my apron's pockets in search of the pen I keep there, and once it's found, I begin writing. I'm not sure any of this sounds impressive or fancy, it kinda feels more like a diary page of a girl going off about her school's crush if anything but it'll have to do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

Leaving the backroom, I return to an empty cafe save for the master working on his coffee as usual. He notices me and the frown on my face, asking if everything's alright.

"I'm fine, don't worry. Where did she go? The doctor."

"Oh, she just left. Said she had come for you but since it looked like you were busy, she went on her way."

There was still time to catch up; good thing the agency was literally next door.

"Thanks! I'll, uh... Just excuse me for a moment, okay? I'll be back soon!"

Before I could even reach the staircase, I felt something latch onto my wrist and tug at me to pull me into a corner. My face immediately flushed when I noticed who was in front of me.

"I figured you'd come looking for me soon enough," Yosano said. She looked into my eyes, a serious look on her face.

I swallowed and tried to still my nerves. "Y-yeah. Yeah, I was looking for you."

"You've been avoiding me, haven't you? I noticed."

Man, detectives are scary. But being subtle wasn't my forte so even a moron would be able to tell anyway.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, now looking concerned. "Did I force my whims on you too much? I know I may come off as forceful sometimes, so if that's the case-"

"No... That's... not it," I feebly mumbled, unable to keep eye contact.

"What's up then? Is everything alright with you?"

"Yeah... I mean, uh..."

Maybe not? Maybe yes, I don't know anymore. This feels too different and I've never felt my heart beat this fast.

"There's something I gotta tell you. Something personal, so..."

"Yes? I'm listening."

"I, uh..."

"Don't worry, no one will hear you down here. The office's door upstairs is pretty thick."

I inhale deeply. This would be the best moment to hand her the hurried note I wrote but I completely forget about the damn thing until it's too late.

"I think... I like you. Would you... Would you go out with me?" I mumble nearly incoherently.

Yosano's brows knit together. "What? Sorry, I couldn't quite catch what you just said-"

I explode before I lose all my courage. "WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME ON A DATE???"

🪻 // Yosano

I blinked.

"I think I have a crush on you!" Lucy blurts, face as red as a tomato. "That's why I've been avoiding you! I'msorry!"

"Oh my," is all I muster to say at first. She continues, talking so fast her accent starts making words hard to understand.

"Lucy," I call.

"AndwhenIrealizedIwassodownbadandI'venevergonethroughthissoIhaven'tthefaintestideaofwhattodo-"

"Lucy!" I call louder while I bring my hands to her shoulders and gently shake her. "Calm down. It's okay. I'm glad you finally told me."

The maiden looks completely puzzled for a second. "Y-you knew?!"

"Girl, I'm a detective," I smiled, letting go of her. I could tell she could use some personal space to still her nerves. "And a woman. We're keen observers."

"Y-you could've told me earlier! Gosh, I feel so stupid now!"

"Sorry, I just didn't want to intrude. Sometimes we need time to process our feelings, it's something that only us can do."

"You sound oddly okay with it..." Lucy points out, suspicious. Her face suddenly lights up, "D-does that mean...?!"

"Oh, dear," I said with an apologetic tone. "It's unfortunate, but I can't reciprocate your feelings. I'm sorry."

Lucy deflated like a popped balloon as a heavy sigh left her but recovered very fast. "Well, at least now I know. Should have figured you weren't into girls... That'd be too good to be true."

I blinked at her again. "I never said that."

"Huh???" she sounded truly puzzled.

"I swing both ways, cutie pie," I explained with a sly smirk. "But even if I didn't, I wouldn't treat you any differently because of it. It's completely okay."

"Wait, so..." Lucy frowned as if creasing her forehead would give her brain an additional help to make 2+2. Realization then hit her. "Oh! Ooooh."

"Yeah, I'm already... You know," I chuckle.

"I'd never be able to tell."

"You never asked! We're pretty reserved about it for reasons," I shrug, doing my best not to laugh at the irony that it had been specifically Lucy to crush on me. Apparently, I'm a redhead magnet. "Regardless, it's still a big flattery to be someone's gay awakening," I winked playfully at her. Lucy's face flared up in red again.

"You can tell even that?!"

"Been there, done that," a wry smile escapes me. "So, how do you feel right now?"

"Much lighter, actually," the maiden sighed in relief. "At least now I know, just need some time to let it go. I, um... Would like to keep things as they are between us though. If that's okay with you...?"

She still sounded a little unsure of herself, so I made sure to smile as sweetly as I could at her. "Yes, of course! I wouldn't mind that at all."

"Okay... Okay, cool," the way she repeated it sounded like she was still trying to convince herself, so I took the wheel instead.

"Would you mind if I hugged you? It helps ease the nerves and you Westerners are much more open to this kind of thing between friends."

"Woah, hold up there, that's maybe a little too soon," Lucy complains, hands on her hips. "I've just been rejected by you, I need time to process that, you know!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Fair enough."

"Actually," she quickly backtracks. "You know what? Forget that, I will accept that hug."

I carefully pull her into my arms, taking care not to smother her but still feel warm and comforting enough to do its intended job. "You're an amazing and beautiful woman, Lucy. You'll find the right person for you one day," I say, gently patting her shoulder. "And I'll be there to give you dating tips, of course!"

Much to my surprise and relief, she's smiling when we pull apart. "Thanks," she says, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye before it dared to drop. "I'll remember that."

"So, now that this has been settled, what are your plans for tomorrow? It's been a while we don't do shopping together but it's perfectly alright if you don't want to come along."

"You bet I do! I've missed doing it."

With a lighter heart, I smile at her. "Then same time as usual. And make sure to wear comfortable shoes, we have a lot of catching up to do!"

Credits: ♡ English revisions & co-author: @shiroganeryo ♡ Edits & graphics: me! °ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ° ♡ Image sources: Bungou Stray Dogs manga, drawn by Harukawa35; Bungou Stray Dogs Official Anthology, Vol.1 Ch.3 - As You Wear It drawn by Hirahara Akira; free stock resources from Pngtree

[thresholdbb]

Forever going to be annoyed at Deep Space Nine because I can no longer reliably choose the correct prophet/profit

[kindahoping4forever]

is there any hope in praying for a new kh4f writing piece? or are you officially retired 😓 i beg i plead i weep i NEED a fresh ashton one-shot like my life depends on it 🙏

Definitely not retired! I truly never meant to go this long without publishing a fic - last year was just a very weird, unbelievably difficult blur for me, the hiatus just happened and to be honest, I regret it every day.

But! Although my posting stopped, I never really stopped writing (I think my longest streak of not so much as opening a doc was about 3 months.) I've been writing much more infrequently than I'd like and with much more effort and hesitance than I'm used to (turns out going from practicing a skill every day for years to just... not doesn't do much for that skill or one's confidence 😬) but I have still been writing! Unfortunately, finishing stories hasn't been my strong suit recently and that's primarily why I haven't posted in so long. And why my WIP folder has been this stacked for the past year lol:

Some docs are just a few paragraphs long while some only need a few paragraphs to be done. I'm kind of at this weird crossroads right now where I definitely want to finish some of these fics (why let all that effort go to waste) but also I want to jump on ideas that are newer and have less baggage in my brain (it's been extremely frustrating trying to get back to where I was!). So I'm trying to navigate that while also trying to get back into the writing mindset and routine again, learning to trust my instincts again, find a way for my brain to be a comfy and fun place to hang out in again. I am determined to get there, and sooner than later this time. I feel closer than ever! And when I do, Tumblr will be the first to know. Promise. 💙

[paimonial-rage]

secret identities and whatnot

ship: xiao x reader x venti

synopsis: in which reader finds out xiao is a fellow fan of a certain musician and venti wants to find out who

notes: idol!au; follow up stories will be posted following venti's route and xiao's route

You frowned as a soft melody traveled through the halls of Teyvat Entertainment. Having worked there for months, you knew it didn’t belong to any of the groups or talents. Their songs fell more into the pop category with the occasional ballad, but this was different. It was a delicate piece, beautiful, yet subdued. And as you followed the sound, you couldn’t help but feel you knew this song from somewhere. But where?

When you opened the door to the practice room belonging to 5WIRL, there was Xiao mid-pirouette, and then it sunk in. You did know this song! In fact, how in the world did you not recognize it in the first place!? You used to listen to his songs on continuous repeat when you were younger. But more important was Xiao! After all–

You rushed up to him and took his hands in excitement.

“You know who Barbatos is? Are you a fan??”

There were practically sparkles in your eyes as you gazed up at the soft-spoken man in sheer excitement. With your heart beating so fast, you didn't even realize you didn't give him a chance to respond before you continued.

“This song is ‘Cecilia’ from his first album, ‘Der Frühling,’ right? While he has gotten a bit more traction over the years, most people aren’t even aware of this album!! So obviously you have to be a fan, right? What is your favorite song from the album? Is it this one? Mine is ‘What is a Windblume?’”

Perhaps you did sound a bit fanatical, but could anyone blame you? Barbatos, though a phenomenal composer, was not necessarily well known. While it was said he ghostwrote a lot of songs for groups and movies that immediately topped the lists, his personal works were few and far between. It didn’t help that he opted to remain anonymous. So to find someone that actually knew who he was absolutely astounded and excited you! You finally had someone to gush over Barbatos with!

It was unfortunate that in your excitement, you didn’t notice the rather confused expression on your companion’s face. While you were a regular face in the office and at concerts, you were usually fighting with Venti or assisting the other members of 5WIRL. He always assumed you were intimidated by him, but seeing how you were practically up in his face with sheer giddiness, he concluded that wasn’t the case. 

“I’m not that much of a fan…” He mumbled, turning his face away. 

You frowned.

“But you have to like at least one of the songs to be listening to this album!!” You pleaded.

He let out an exasperated sigh. And after a few moments of silence, he finally responded.

“‘Floating Lights…’”

Your heart suddenly stopped… before jumpstarting a mile a minute. A wide grin blossomed upon your lips as you squeezed his hands and hopped excitedly.

“You mean the song he was rumored to have made during a trip to Liyue for the Lantern Rite?? That’s not even on this album!!! There’s no way you’re not a fan! Which part is your favorite? The beginning with the lyre? Or is it that floaty part with the flute?”

If you weren’t up in his face, you were definitely there now. Or at least that’s where you would have been had a rather… annoying voice not joined the conversation.

“Oh? What are you both talking about?”

Your lips immediately pulled into a pained grimace. And just as expected, you turned to see the leader of 5WIRL with his green tipped locks and deceptively sweet smile. 

It was not a secret among the members and staff of 5WIRL that you didn’t get along with Venti. Where all the members of 5WIRL were calm and sweet (for the most part), Venti was lazy and uncontained. How many times were you called in the middle of the night to pick him up from random taverns? How many times did you find yourself cleaning up after him in the practice studio? You had no doubt your life would be much simpler if he just weren’t around.

Still, as much as you hated to admit it, he wasn’t popular for no reason. The picture he painted of himself to his fans was of an impish fairy. Ethereal in looks, yet mischievous in nature. Sweet-tongued, yet as unpredictable as the winds. If anyone asked you, though, you’d say he was more akin to a demon. But… you supposed he was a great songwriter and lyricist. Not as good as Barbatos, mind you, but still halfway decent. 

“We’re talking about our shared love of a very amazing songwriter,” you replied with an upturned nose. 

“A songwriter? Which one? Maybe I’ve heard of them!” he replied with curious excitement.

You gave a wry snort of laughter.

“Oh, I highly doubt it. He’s very underground. Certainly not mainstream like you. And his music has a lot of depth, I’m not sure you’d understand…”

“Really? Then I’d love to know who he is! Maybe I can learn a thing or two, hehe!”

Much to your dismay, Venti didn’t become irritated nor upset. Rather, he seemed to be even more interested. Xiao, on the other hand, became more and more concerned with each word that left your mouth. In fact, had you been paying attention, you would have seen him hesitantly holding his hand out as if to stop you from driving your train of sheer arrogance straight off of the cliff of rude awakening!

“Well, for your information, his name is–”

“First!”

You nearly jumped out of your skin. Spinning around, you were shocked to see that it was Xiao with a more intense look of frustration on his face than usual. Even though it could be no one other than him that yelled your name so loudly, you could hardly believe it. But now that he finally had your attention, it seemed he didn’t quite know what to do next. If you were paying attention, however, you would have noticed a pair of very observant eyes watching the scene unfold before him.

“... The… manager wants to see you,” he finally got out. 

You frowned. The manager? You were pretty sure you already handled everything they asked for… Maybe they needed you for something else.

“Did they text you what they wanted?” You asked curiously.

He shook his head.

You sighed.

“Well, hopefully I didn’t forget to do something. I’ll see you two later.”

With that, you slowly trudged your way over to the door. You were really hoping you weren’t needed for something important. Today was supposed to be a slow day. But before you could get any farther, a hand grabbed yours.

“Wait! Can you tell me the name of that composer first, please? If he’s better than me as you say, then you gotta tell me who he is!” Venti begged sweetly.

Xiao’s shoulders stiffened.

“The manager has texted me twice already. Don’t make them wait,” he interrupted.

“Aw, c’mon, Xiao,” Venti groaned. “It’s not going to take them any longer to tell me. Who is it, first?”

“First, they’ve just texted me again.”

“Please? I just want to know his name! Tell me? Pretty please?”

“Just go already.”

“No, don’t listen to him!”

“First.”

“First!”

You exploded.

“QUIET ALREADY!”

You turned to Xiao first.

“The manager can wait just five more seconds! Do you want me gone so badly?”

You then turned to Venti.

“And you! If you really must know, his name is Barbatos. He makes the most wonderful music in the whole entire world. The way he can paint the most beautiful scenes with his lovely melodies is proof that he is an angel in human form. For some time, I couldn't even sleep without listening to his music, so I really owe my life to him! He was my first love and he's way more the musician than you’ll ever be!”

You then turned, stomped off, and slammed the door behind you.

After a few moments of silence, Xiao let out a long drawn out sigh.

“This is why they dislike you so much.”

“Ehe!”

[SIDE A: Venti]

[SIDE B: Xiao] (coming soon)

[queerlycarter]

im finally in a place where i have a real & consistent urge to make my life Better. more tolerable. enjoyable

im not just enduring anymore, i want to inhabit my life & my body

there are innumerable factors building up over years that led to this point, but i think a big one is my body's sudden & steep decline. it's led me to seeking relief & having to pay close attention to what my body is doing and how it's feeling, and make conscious choices to make myself more comfortable.

anyways which led to me FINALLY actually deciding that yes. i do want to start hrt. i'm done ignoring my body and im ready to start making it a place i'm happy living in

[reading-writing-dying]

Little progress update for I Love You, You Love (The Other) Me

Have been fighting for my life trying to write the next chapter

(Big events in/around me have completely ruined my schedule thats been fairly consistent for months now and between that and brain just not working its been rough)

Do have about 1.3 k words at the moment and am nearly at a point where i could technically split this chapter in two and publish the first part maybe tomorrow or Wednesday or wait until I am able to finish the entire planned chapter (no promises on speed, ideally by Saturday but it could be another week if my brain doesn't cooperate)

So you guys (that are here on tumblr and see this update) tell me which you'd rather...

[spicyicymeloncat]

Goddddd adulting is so hard. People keep asking me if I have the [static noise] and I’m just like [windows error sound]

[sophiethewitch1]

why is it that whenever im not paying attention i go straight back to psychologically torturing www!reader

[curator-on-ao3]

Do you write multi-chapter fics in order or do you jump around? And if you do go in order, do you go back to revise earlier chapters as you go or are they pretty much ready to post once you move on to the next chapter?

I love this question, anon, thank you! ❤️

I write multi-chaps in order — which I don’t necessarily recommend because a scene I may be three chapters away from writing will sing and dance in my mind and we’re not there yet. So I will add key elements of that scene to my outline, which actually can be good in the long run because by the time I finally write the scene, the words can flow fairly easily because the scene has been in my mind for so long (with outline memory aids for specifics).

I know some people write out of order, and I’m glad that method works for them. For me, I need the linear nature in which the story will (presumably) be read to inform the writing. As always, though, the best way to write is the way that works for the writer.

In terms of revision, I revise constantly. Little stuff, big stuff. I need the whole story written and edited before posting even the first chapter (with one exception because I knew exactly where I was going and felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t start posting). For me, the revision process can help sharpen things like foreshadowing and key themes. I find revision deeply rewarding. It’s like — I built a home and now I get to buff the floors and straighten the address numbers and make sure the cookies in the oven are done just in time to invite in anyone who wants to share the home I built for whomever might want to be there.

[mrs-bingley]

if you ask me to pass you my recipes I will do it, but it will take me 984 hours to write down all the chaotic knowledge about cooking I have in my head and the recipes I know and I will forget about eating while doing so

[theygender]

This has been on my mind for weeks and I talked to my therapist about it today and told my girlfriend about it too so now it's time for me to update the gay people in my phone: I may have schizotypal personality disorder

[geddy-leesbian]

there's so many fics I have saved to read when I have a dose of vyvanse that works because quick release adderall is not enough to allow me to read things