#i also have a lot of OH SHIT moments where i remember what i’ve forgotten

[giddlygoat]

being adhd is crazy ill spend all day worrying that i’ve forgotten something, triple checking my calendar and my messages to make sure i haven’t missed an appointment or left someone hanging, and it still happens anyway. incredible

[bots-and-cons]

Arcee and female human reader pls?

Reader is a girl but she's thought, adventurous and a trouble maker she often hangs out with the other male soldiers from the military and with the kids as well but sometimes likes to do dangerous or radical things for example jumping off of a really high water fall and diving on the water and often dreaming out of base, and cuz of that and (the lost of her old partners) Arcee had become protective of her because it's not rare that reader often comes back with some cuts or slight injuries

Then one day reader sneaks out again to go and explore a forest that had been having a lot of decepticons Activities or energon signatures recently (being the curious she is goes to explore) and Arcee quietly following her, then when really deep into the forest arcee picks her up and walks back scolding reader but she then just sighs not being able to stay mad at her for to long and just goes back to base with her.

(Sorry for being annoying and sending 3 messages your writing is so good btw)

A/N: I’ve been kinda ignoring this request until now, Idk why to be honest, just didn’t feel like paying attention to it. Now that I actually read it again, I wanted to write a scenario for it. This is set in the last season of the show, so they’re not in the bunker base or whatever anymore. I did this with the usual they/them pronouns, it's just a habit at this point. Also thank you! :D

“Has anyone seen (Name)?” Arcee asked as she looked around the hangar.

“Nope” Miko said.

“Not in a while” Jack shrugged.

“They left a few minutes before you guys got here. Ratchet opened the groundbridge for them. I don’t know where they went exactly” Raf chimed in, pushing up his glasses. “But I can find out”

Raf opened his laptop and started trying to locate your phone. It took a moment, but then the laptop made the little “ping” sound it made whenever it found the device it was looking for.

“Where are they?” Arcee asked a tad impatiently.

“Remember where we had those decepticon sightings a while back? They went there” Raf showed Arcee the laptop screen.

“Oh for Primus’ sake” Arcee muttered.

You’d told Ratchet where to bridge you and, to your luck, he seemed to have forgotten it was where the decepticon sightings had occurred just last week. You wanted to investigate what was going on over there, because of the numerous sightings and such, but you didn’t really have any other easy way to get there. Ratchet forgetting was very convenient for you, and you knew Arcee was going to be pissed, but you went anyway.

You were walking around the woods, but there didn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary. The birds were singing and the insects were making their own little noises. There wasn’t anything weird going on, which was a bit of a disappointment. You didn’t want to end up face to face with a vehicon or anything, but you did want to find out what was going on.

After a while of wandering around, you heard the sound of an engine. You couldn’t tell which direction it was coming from, so you just hid behind a big boulder, as the sound got louder. You were really hoping the sound was coming from behind you, so the boulder would hide you, but you still weren’t sure.

You heard the telltale signs of someone transforming, and then it sounded like whoever had transformed, was standing on top of the boulder. You were a bit under it too, since the huge rock was at an angle.

Arcee had your latest location from Raf, so you should have been right there. Had you dropped your phone? A small thing like that would be much harder to spot than a whole human being. She was standing on a big rock and looking around, but according to Raf, you should have been right there. Arcee dropped down from on top of the rock, and the noise that followed almost made her jump back up.

“Holy shit!” you shrieked.

“What in the name of Primus is wrong with you?!” Arcee whisper shouted.

“You spooked me, besides, I wouldn’t have yelled if you were a decepticon”

“Alright, I’m taking you back” Arcee rolled her optics and picked you up.

As she picked you up, she noticed you seemed disheveled. Your pants were ripped on your right knee and your knee had dried blood on it.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Arcee asked cautiously.

“Oh this?” you motioned towards your knee. “I just fell and skinned my knee on a rock, stung like a bitch to be honest”

Arcee just stared at your bloody knee for a while. Rationally, she knew that even a fragile human such as yourself wouldn’t die from such a small injury, but what if… Suddenly she found herself feeling angry towards you, why did you always have to pull these stupid stunts and disappearing acts?

“You’re a reckless idiot, you know that, right?” Arcee snapped.

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?” you asked, tilting your head slightly.

“You hate it when you pull these disappearing acts on me. I’m supposed to keep you safe, so how can I do that if I don’t even know where you are?!” she raised her voice.

The whole thing clicked for you quite quickly. You hadn’t realized how much your way of coping messed with Arcee. You would rather go off on your own, so no one would get hurt because of you, but because you went off on your own, Arcee couldn’t make sure you were safe, which was clearly bothering her.

“I won’t do it again, I promise” you suddenly pledged.

Arcee was quite taken aback by your sudden promise, because that was the last thing she had expected you to do. She had expected an argument at least, probably even another yelling match. She didn’t know what to say to you. You were looking at her with such an honest expression, you really meant what you had said.

Arcee just sighed, and placed you on her shoulder.

“Is that it? You sure you don’t wanna yell at me a bit more?” you smirked.

“I would love to yell at you more, but I’m worried the cons might hear me, so I decided not to” Arcee rolled her optics.

“So there are decepticons here?” you exclaimed.

“(Name)” Arcee sighed

“Yeah?”

“Shut up, please”

You just chuckled, and made a motion in front of your face as if you’d closed a zipper, but you were still smiling at her.

Arcee wasn’t angry anymore, she never could stay angry at you for long. Now all that was left was getting you back to the base. That should be the easy part, right?

[smellingofpoetry]

The right ones

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Mary Winchester (mentioned)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: People always leave him.

Square/s Filled: Whiskey (@spnchristmasbingo), heartbreak (TMAS Bingo - @supernatural-jackles)

Warnings: angst, fluff, Mary isn’t the mother of the year

Words count: 1018

Beta: @akshi8278 🖤

A/N:  Hi!!! I’ve been quite busy lately, and I didn’t always have the time to sit and write. So, I’m learning how to take some time just for myself and write. I guess it’s working because here I’m. The idea for this fic came out of nowhere. I was actually thinking about Bones, this other old show I loved so much. I remembered this sweet scene with Booth and Brennan, where she asked him if he needed time and space. I always loved that scene, so I decided to take that quote and see how it sounded with Supernatural. The result is not that bad if you asked me but let me know what you think. Oh, and stay tuned because a lot of new things are coming your way soon. Enjoy! 🖤

She left him, again.

She did it right before Christmas, of all time. Who does that? His mom, apparently. He sighed while letting himself slip down the floor, his back resting against the bed. His mind was still too busy reliving the argument with his mom when a soft knock at the door caught his attention. Dean looked up just in time to see Y/N's head peeking inside the room. Shit, he thought when he saw her. He had totally forgotten they had plans that night.

"Hi..." She whispered, unsure.

"Oh sorry, I forgot about the movie."

"It's alright, don't worry about it," Y/N reassured him whit one of her gentle smiles. She slipped inside the room a bit more without entering properly, leaning to the door half opened. Dean watched her lingering at the entrance of his room, moving from one foot to the other. He never saw her so unsure, not around him at least.

"Did Sam tell you what happened?" He asked her, tilting his head to the side. Y/N sighed, resting her temple against the wooden door. She thought she wasn't being that obvious, but, apparently, she was wrong.

"Yeah. He also said you might need some time..." She whispered, gnawing at her lip. She glanced down, suddenly very interested in her shoes. "Do you? Need time, I mean." She asked him, peeking in his direction and catching him staring at her.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Still biting her lip, Y/N glanced behind her ready to leave him alone. She was about to turn away and close the door when she stopped. Before she could even register what was happening her mouth was moving on her own accord.

"Do you need time and space?"

Dean's eyes never really left her. He saw her hesitation and when he was sure she would have left him too, she turned around catching him off guard.

"Just time..." he answered, giving her a barely there smile.

"Good, 'cause I brought the good stuff."

Y/N smiled at that, slipping inside the room, and showing him the whiskey bottle she was holding. She walked towards the bed, slid down next to him, and offered him the bottle. Dean took it and, without saying a word, took a long swig. He cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand before passing the bottle to her. Y/N took a sip of it, tasting the strong flavor of the liquor before passing it to him again. He took the bottle again without drinking this time. He leaned forward on his knees, trying to avoid her eyes, and ducking his head down she heard him sigh.

"People always leave me."

It was just a whisper and yet those few words managed to break her heart.

"Is it me?"

"Dean..."

"Am I doing something wrong?"

The moment she heard his voice quivering at the end her eyes filled with tears. Y/N leaned against him, laying her head on his shoulder while one of her arms sneaked between his in search of his hand. Against his better judgment, Dean opened his hand welcoming hers. His fingers closed around her warm skin almost afraid to see her go away too.

"Nothing's wrong with you."

"Then, why?" He whispered, leaning against her, letting his cheek rest on her forehead.

"It's not you, Dean. People leave all the time for multiple reasons."

He kept quiet, trying to process what she had just said to him. Maybe she was right; maybe it wasn't his fault. Not really anyway, even though it felt like it.

"How do I make people stay?"

Y/N swore her heart cracked a bit more for him and at that moment she knew: the world didn't deserve Dean Winchester. She let him go for a minute, turning towards him to get a better look at his face. She let her fingers travel along his stubble cheek, smiling at him.

"You don't, but that's okay. The right ones will stay by your side without you needing to ask them," she assured him, watching him leaning against her touch.

Dean swallowed hard, following the warmth of her fingers. She was about to let him go when he took hold of her hand, squeezing it between his warm ones. He leaned against the bed frame; his head turned to the side to have a better look at her features with their hands on his lap. His brow furrowed while her words echoed in his head.

The right ones will stay by your side without you needing to ask them.

"What about you?" he asked her, searching her eyes.

"What about me?"

"Do I have... I mean, are you...?" he stumbled, unsure of how to ask her.

To be honest, he wasn't even sure of what he was trying to ask her. He was just worried to see her walk away from him too. He knew that, in the worst case, he still had Sam. So, he wouldn't be completely alone, but he knew that losing Y/N too would definitely break his heart. He had already said goodbye to his mom, and he had to do it for a second time. He couldn't even say if it had hurt more now or when he was a kid, not that it mattered. And yet, if he really thought about it, he had to admit that he was somehow used to his mother's absence. The only difference was that this time was her choice to leave, which had hurt the most if he was being honest.

But with Y/N?

He wasn't used to not having her around, not speaking to her, not watching a movie with her, or simply enjoying a car ride together. And some part of him didn't even want to think how miserable his life without her in it could be.

"You're stuck with me, Winchester." she winked at him with a smile on her lips.

Dean's lips curved upward at that. He looked away, feeling his cheeks getting warmer under her gaze.

"I like the sound of that," he whispered, and his heart felt less heavy.

[fluffypotatey]

f g p r from the fanfic ask game? please?

Hey bestie 🥰 thanks so much for the ask this one took me awhile lol

G - Do you write your story from start to finish? or out of order?

i like writing things from start to finish. key word: like. my brain, however, likes to jump ahead to specific scenes and events. i used to fight that bit and force myself to forge on along and wait until i finally made it to that part in the story.

lmao that was a horrible idea. those scenes would continue to haunt me and pester me until i finally give up and wrote them. so i just stop fighting it and write out of order. (honestly it was a blessing for me to decide to make my lmk one-shot series not in chronological order bc then i’d never get it done lol

it’s why my writing can get slow sometimes because while writing the chapter for the next event, i’ll be hit with some scene 2 chapters later or 3 scenes after some confrontation i haven’t started yet!!! i have ch7 for the dr geyer fic. it’s in my docs but i haven’t finished it bc someone *looks at brain* wants to write more of s6b bc Theo’s in that one >:(

P - Are you what George RR Martine would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance vs letting the story unfold as you go?)

you know, i know i read of this before like years ago but i don’t remember it lol. had to look it up to make sure i was understanding this right.

so… i think it depends?

with my merlin multi-chap fic and my medieval fantasy wip i plan those in advance. the merlin fic? i have that 1st arc’s plot down, i know where the story will lead to, i even know which characters i’ll keep alive or keep dead. 

with my one-shots (and my one-shots that chose to say “fuck you”), those are a spur of the moment kind of writing. i had something playing in my head that’s wants to be free, so i write it down and pray that it’s satisfied (it typically is not which is why you see a lot of my one-shots become multi-chapters or one-shot series). these don’t have a solid plan when i begin. i tend to come up with it as the plot comes together. 

tbh this works well with my fics bc i have a base outline: the actual show/book/movie. with my dr geyer fic, i know where s5-6 begin and end. sure, i’m choosing what gets to happen in-between, but i at least have the comfort of that base. the lmk series? it’s literally just me plugging in an oc and forcing a couple characters to air-out their issues. 

R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

oh definitely. tbh my main one would have to be Lemony Snicket. fell in love with the narration of those stories. the snark, the personality, the vocabulary, the inner dialogue. idk it just did something to 9 year old me lol

another big one i’d have to say is Branden Sanderson. not really his writing, but how complex and beautiful his worlds are. i didn’t know that you could create and capture the essence such beautiful worlds in writing but reading his books and seeing them come to life really influenced my desire to write and design fantastical worlds or even just explore snippets of other worlds like BBC Merlin Albion.

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it

babe, i’m so sorry but it took me forever to choose. i debated on whether i should do lmk or teen wolf or abc merlin or even shit i haven’t posted bc i love too many of these T^T

but dw i did find one (it’ll be under the cut bc this got long jfc). i giggled a lot when writing it just because the back and forth with Liam and Mason interjecting was fun. also i picked this one to prove the dr geyer fic hasn’t been forgotten. i’ve just been….preocupied and going feral over immortal monkeys

*

“I’m not here to start anything,” Mr. Doughlas said to them calmly. “I just want the mountain ash barrier open, mh?”

“Yeah, because this isn’t starting anything,” Liam growled.

Mr. Douglas smiled, sharp teeth in full display. Again, he twisted his claws in the chimera. Theo, again, kept quiet. The only indication he was in any being came from his winces. Liam can’t tell if he should be impressed or horrified that getting stabbed in the spine barely got a reaction out of Theo. 

“This is simply a contingency. I just want the barrier open, then I’ll be out of your hair. I promise. No funny business.”

Theo chuckled (well, more like gurgled) and snorted.

“Says the Nazi.”

Douglas drove his claws further into Theo’s spine, polite smile cracking, in response. The chimera grunted, but Theo just laughed again.

“Sorry, sorry.” Theo’s smirk looked almost deranged with the blood coating his lips. “Nazi was the insult others threw at you, right?”

“He’s a Nazi?!” Mason shrieked. 

Doughlas sighed, all politeness disappearing as he addressed them all.

“Must we obsess over my previous occupation? I don’t see how this is important. I was just a soldier there.”

“Oh yeah, being a part of a genocidal fascist group should totally be overlooked!” Liam exclaimed. “Not like you were involved in and advocated for any of that!”

“Yeah, it adds nothing for us to even slightly trust you,” Mason added.

[raccooncityriots]

OKAY! 👏👏 I finally finished all the area storylines and chapter one of the War Within!!

Triggered. I was really afraid they were gonna make me start using the heart of Azeroth again and just change the name. I liked the little puzzle they had for rewiring the mainframe a lot, but I wish it had been a little bit harder. I would have liked if they had it like the pipe puzzle from earlier where it was a little bit tricky and you just gave people who didn’t want to do it an alternative.

Don’t worry Brinthe, I too was puzzled. What did this mean, Dagran?? What do you know about Magni that we don’t? Did you take the “going through a divorce with Azeroth” jokes too seriously? Maybe I just don’t know enough about dwarf lore to get the joke here.

Thank you for deciding to fucckin’ join us, Jaina and Thrall. I hope you enjoyed your smoothies or whatever you were doing instead of rallying troops to night the void.

I know it is never that deep with wow, but I spent so long over analyzing assortment of people they brought, especially after Turalyon (was it Thrall? I think it was Turalyon because I remember thinking why would he be telling me, an Undead, this) that said it was bureaucracy red tape between the factions that actually kept them from reaching an agreement and arriving sooner. Also, I was a little disappointed we didn’t do more with the ships in the harbor. We’ve got one Zandalari captain and everyone else is just an unnamed solider b standing around. With the spider rescue quest giving us so many random NPC’s I was hoping we’d sprinkle a couple on to the boats. Not a big complaint obviously, again I know it isn’t that deep. I’m sure the fact that there’s no Night Elves here is irrelevant and just because they were important last expansion.

🥺 This conversation was very sweet, I’m glad we didn’t make them wait until everything was settled to talk about what happened. It may have happened a bit quickly lowkey, but I’m also glad Alleria has learned she doesn’t have to pick her family or her powers. I was hoping this is what we’d end up with, but I won’t lie when the expac started I was a bit worried we were going to have her convince herself to go full void and sacrifice give up everything in order to fight and then have her be yet another road to hell paved with good intentions raid boss in the end. That’s been the cop out too many times now and I ain’t forgotten those visions of N’Zoth.

Also??? Where?? Is Anduin?? Did I miss a quest box or something he was with us and now I’ve not seen him since the reinforcements arrived. Was he afraid Genn would be here and didn’t want him to scare off Faerin? Did he see Turalyon was on the boat and was like ‘oh shit I have to leave before he makes me be king again’? Is he becoming the gaming champion at whatever that chess game the Arathi kept asking if I wanted to play, but then would not actually let me?

I’m only 1/5 chapters into the War Within, so I’m sure I’ll figure out where he went soon. Ahh anything else before I go finish my paper… I didn’t take any screenshots, but it was nice to see Gazlowe earlier. This expansion has been very Alliance NPC heavy, so it was cool to work with him for that quest line. I forgot to mention it earlier, but I was also happy to see Liadrin. I hope she actually gets to do something now that she’s here lol

Ahhh Alleria having her moment of weakness and hearing the voices of her loved ones not her son was a nice contrast to the voices of the void. I hope we see more of Locus-Walker. Ahhh I’m glad wow writers are remembering lore and it makes total sense he’s here, but I straight up forgot Danath was still alive ngl Ahhhh I love all the little spiders, I would join the void for them. And I think that’s it for now.

[raysofcrosby]

you are in love – m. tkachuk

warning(s): fluff, small angst, insinuation of smut ((barely)) and sadness<333

inspired by: you are in love by taylor swift w a lil twist<33

word count: 33,031

an: hi ya i’ve been MIA on the writing scene for a bit bc just a general plateau of inspiration but oh lookey here, what’s this??? a new fic??? buckle up besties bc i wrote this in literally four hours and crying about 80% of the time bc i was deep in my feels for over a day when i wrote it, so it’s not edited, probs wont even make any sense either but ya enjoy cool!!! also if it doesn't make any sense thats bc a lot of this was edited from what the original version was and i had to add a bunch of filler shit to make it a hockey fic vs just my personal way of letting my emotions out. so again, don't mind it, enjoy the fic, blah blah blah okay bye<333. ((an 2.0: p.s. i wrote this way before ratty's trade, but added it in the end so if the timeline doesn't add up don't attack pls bc like i said...tons of filler was added)) *italics indicate flashbacks*

You never realize how much stuff can fill a one bedroom apartment until the fifth trip to the store to buy more moving boxes because you seriously underestimated just how much you owned. That could arguably be one of the top three worst things when it comes to moving, tied with actually having to pack your stuff and shifting through what to keep and what to give away.

Luckily, Riley had all the time in the world seeing as she had no responsibilities aside from doing exactly what she was doing in this moment- packing up everything and anything she owned and managed to shove into her 744 square foot apartment she’d called home for the last two years. A mixture of memories brought from home and collected during her time here were all over the apartment, and now in a week's time, they needed to be shoved into multiple moving boxes labeled properly so she wouldn’t be going on a wild goose chase when it came to unpacking them again.

Unluckily, she was also the type of person who found herself easily distracted whenever she came across something that she’d either forgotten she’d owned altogether, or that she’d remember misplacing at one point in time and just never found. A coffee mug, and part gag gift that had “don’t speak” on it from her dad who always jokes that she’s unable and not willing to have a conversation before drinking at least half a cup of coffee– it was buried in the middle back of her cabinet with her other mugs. A swear word coloring book meant for her sister that had somehow slipped behind her bedside table. The journal her mom had gifted her her first Christmas into her masters courses when she’d mentioned how she thought about starting journaling every day as one of her New Year's resolutions.

Riley couldn’t remember the last time she had written in it, though she knew she’d kept the habit up for at least a minimum of the entirety of January, so she flipped open the journal, watching the blank pages brush by until she saw the black ink of the pen she’d always used to write in it. And in the top right corner, was the date of her last entry– March 11th.

She didn’t need to read the entry to remember what she’d written in it…but she was already here, with the journal wide open in her hands…what could it hurt to relive the memory she’d written down on that day?

“Hey, so Jacob and Bren have got pretty much everything packed up in the pod,” Claire said, walking into the now empty apartment and stopping by the bar of the kitchen island where Riley had been leaning. “Are you ready to lock it up or is there some stuff you still need to add?”

Riley looked up from the journal, shutting the hardcover journal– the front of it decorated in pink watercolor pastel and a small bouquet of yellow flowers with the phrase “through sun and rain, flowers bloom all the same” written in black cursive, the pink marking ribbon hanging outside of the lined pages instead of marking where she’d last left off like it was supposed to be.

“Um no, no,” she replied, glancing up from the journal and shaking her head as she placed the journal into the box on the counter next to her, folding the flaps properly and locking them in each other before sliding it off of the counter and holding it in her arms. “Just this box here, but I’ve got it.”

Claire nodded and turned to face what had previously been a homey living room, but was now just an empty room full of potential possibilities. “It feels weird to see this place empty again since I still remember Jacob and I helping you move in with Bren, mom and dad two years ago. I guess it’s a little sad too,” she looked at Riley, nudging her with her shoulder. “But I guess I’m proud of you for getting this job, though I will miss having you within instant bugging distance of me.”

“Gee, thanks,” Riley replied, stepping away from the counter. “Come on, let’s go put this in the pod so we can lock it up and call the company to pick it up soon.”

“Tell me that means we can get early dinner too, right? I’m absolutely starving.” Claire huffed, grabbing the keys to the apartment off of the counter and following behind Riley as they left the now empty place she once called home.

“We can,” Riley nodded, stopping just outside the door as she watched Claire lock the apartment door before they started moving down the hall and towards the elevator. “But I have one more thing I need to do before that.”

Claire’s eyebrows furrowed for only a split second before she pursed her lips and nodded. “That’s right, yeah we’ll totally make a stop before dinner. And then after that–”

“St. Louis,” Riley sighed, her thumbs rubbing against the cardboard in her hands as she nodded. “Yeah, bright and early, first flight out of here.” 

“Then you’re Boston bound once Mom and Dad get their trips down memory lane in,”  Claire smiled, looking down at her phone and typing.

For a moment as she followed behind Claire, she looked down at the box, seeing her own writing in black sharpie across one of the flabs– “Miscellaneous Junk – Riles’ room” “Did you write this on the box?”

Claire looked over her shoulder as the elevator doors opened and peered at the box, nodding her head. “Yeah, it’s just a bunch of junk from your desk isn’t it? Nothing really important is in there, just your knick knacks and stuff from your drawers.”

‘Nothing really important’ stung her harder than it probably should have because sure, she’d asked Claire to go through her desk and toss whatever was left into one box, but that was before she’d looked in and seen what was in it. Random stickers, concert lanyards, the gag gift of a gift box of glow in the dark condoms Janelle had given her– so many of the things in there fell under the junk title Claire had given the box…the ‘nothing really important’ category. But not that journal…nothing written on those lined pages was junk, everything in that journal mattered to Riley.

It took everything in her not to reach in and grab the journal from inside the box, but she didn’t want to gain her sister’s attention or want her interest to be piqued on what was within the hardcover gift. So instead, she just readjusted her grip onto the box and thought about all the ways she might be able to sneak it out without anyone noticing before they put the box into the pod, which would be shipped off to Boston, hopefully later tonight.

There were only 69 entries in that journal, there should’ve been at least 184, but the way she’d gotten swept up in life every day after March 11th, writing in that journal had slipped to the very back of her mind. But every moment of those 69 entries and the 114 days after that, all the way up to that moment on July 2nd that felt world ending, to today– July 4th…it all mattered.

DAY 12 – JANUARY 12TH, 2022 [ FIRST MEETING ]

“I have absolutely no right to be here right now,” Riley said, tugging on the top of the bodycon dress Claire had managed to squeeze her into for the night. One that was just one size too small but for some Godforsaken reason had seemed to fit her everywhere but her chest, which Claire called a blessing but she called a girl's gone wild moment waiting to happen.

“You have every right to be here,” she replied, keeping her steady pace as her heels clicked against the pavement while simultaneously digging through her small clutch for her lip gloss.

“In what dimension do I have the right to be crashing a girls night out–” Riley quickened her pace, the heels Claire also pressured her to shove her feet into for the night, almost matching her own as they clicked on the sidewalk. “Where all of the girls in question, except for me, have the same exact thing in common?”

“Which is?”

“You know exactly what it is,” she huffed, finally coming up beside her just as the two of them were met with the bouncer of the club, the bearded man who looked like he walked off of the front cover of a bodybuilding magazine, instantly waving them both through. “You’re literally all dating professional athletes…on the same team…teammates, Claire. That’s what you all have in common.”

Claire rolled her eyes, grabbing her hand as they both entered the crowded club floor and leading her in the direction of where most of her friends were. “I think you’re forgetting one thing, you also know someone here because you’re both in the same masters courses.”

“Fine, I have one thing in common with one person out of what? The twenty that are here?”

“And me, or have you all of a sudden forgotten that you’re a twin? Because if you’re still mad about me stealing your book fair money in elementary school, I think you need to see a therapist.”

Riley pulled her hand from hers, tugging up at the top of her dress again. “We’re not even twins. You’re eleven months older than me–”

“Basically making us twins,” Claire replied, pulling her forward as she came to a stop in front of a small set of stairs that led up to multiple booths. “Fourth one down, move it.”

“It’s a wonder how you ever won the friendliest in the entire class your senior year,” Riley said, sending a playful glare over her shoulder. “If only they knew the real you.”

“You’re my sister, you get both my nice side and my ‘if you take my favorite sweater out of my closet one more time without asking I’ll dump water on your head in the middle of the night to wake you up,’ side,” Claire smiled, keeping her hand on the small of Riley’s back and nuding her ahead. “Besides, you won best smile which is odd because you never smile, you old grouch.”

“Finally you two show up!” Meredith, Johnny Gaudreau’s wife, was the first one to spot them as Claire shoved Riley up to the booth where the familiar faces of the girls who were either married to or dating Flames players that Riley had gotten to know so far, were sitting in.

“Yeah, it took everything in me to convince Ri here to come out with us and to at least put a little effort into her appearance,” Claire said, greeting Meredith with a hug before moving along to greet the rest of the girls who were there.

“Ha ha, very funny, but some of us have school–”

“Oh not the school excuse,” Kelsey, the one girl out of all of them who Riley had one thing in common with, seeing they were both pursuing Masters Degrees at the University of Calgary in the Kinesiology program. “I know for a fact that we have nothing due over the weekend, not even until the end of next week. Take a break for once Riley, you’re mastering the classes, no pun intended.” She smiled, giving Riley a hug.

“See Ri?” Claire smiled over her shoulder before plopping down in a spot Meredith and Annica, who was dating Elias Lindholm, had made between them. “Now relax and have fun. You don’t even have to leave the comfort of this booth if you want.”

“Actually,” Riley replied, giving Claire a sarcastic smile. “I think I might just have some fun and wander down to the bar and get a drink.”

“I’ll come with you actually!” Kylie, who was dating Dillon Dube, chimed in, standing up from the seating.

“Me too!” Kelsey added, standing up. “Plus I wanted to tell you what Oscar’s reaction to that paper we had to turn in last week was. I swear his eyes popped out of his head when I asked him to proofread it.”

Riley laughed, walking back out of the booth as the two followed behind her. “Please, I barely understood what I wrote and I even have all the notes from class.”

The three of them maneuvered their way back down the small set of steps and then back into the crowd of the bar, Kelsey grabbing onto Riley’s hand and then presumably Kylie’s so the three wouldn’t lose one another in the crowd as Riley led them over towards the bar. Thanks to being invited along to some events by Claire, Riley knew most of the WAGs on the team, but the only one she was really on a super friendly basis with, was Kelsey. Kelsey who was born and raised in Calgary and had attended the University of Calgary for her undergraduate degree as well and had been dating Oscar for the last near two years.

The two of them, Kelsey and Riley, hadn’t made their Flames connection until Claire asked Riley if she would tag along with her to brunch with a few other girls, Claire also wanting Riley to ‘stop hiding in your room, you’re young, have fun!’ Kelsey was at brunch, recognized Riley from one of their lectures and the friendship just blossomed into study sessions, coffee trips and Kelsey also having Riley tag along to things.

“Unbelievable,” Kelsey laughed once the three of them managed to grab a space at the crowded bar. “All of the bars in the city and they go here? Knowing we were all coming out tonight?”

“What?” Kylie asked, looking at Riley for help but Riley just shrugged.

Kelsey sighed and rolled her eyes before nodding her head off to their left and then pointing. “All the way at the end of the bar.”

Riley and Kylie both looked over in the direction she was pointing, and instantly the two girls knew what and who she was talking about. There at the end of the bar and of course, all together in a big group, were a few players from the Flames. Riley could see Jacob and Dillon at the bar talking to the bartender and off behind him were Sean, Johnny, Oscar and they were sure more that weren’t in their view.

“If you guys tell me what you want, you’re more than welcome to go over there and chew their asses out a little bit,” Riley smiled, leaning against the bar.

“You don’t mind? Because like Kels said…there are so many bars here,” Kylie said, looking off at the boys.

“Not at all,” Riley replied, waving them off. “As long as you give Jacob a little hell from me for not telling my insane sister to leave me alone tonight.”

Kylie squeezed Riley’s arm as she brushed by and nodded. “We’ll be right back, don’t leave the bar without us so we don’t lose you.”

“And if any creeps sneak up, yell pterodactyl.” Kelsey noddeed, nodding her head. “It’ll scare them off.”

“Pterodactyl, got it,” Riley nodded, watching them walk away before turning back towards the bar and then shaking her head. “Pterodactyl? Where the hell did she get that from?”

The bartender walked over to her, nodding at her. “What can I get you?”

Riley opened her mouth to speak, only to realize that Kelsey and Kylie never told her what they wanted to drink…so she went with a classic. “Can I get three vodka cranberries?”

The bartender nodded and turned away to make the drinks, Riley flipped her phone over and grabbed her card from the card holder she insisted Claire let her borrow since she wasn’t carrying a purse and was stuffed into the dress.

“I hope all of those aren’t for you,” Riley heard someone say as the bartender placed two of the drinks down in front of her. “Cause that’s about three rounds I’ll miss out on buying you a drink.”

She looked to her left to see the familiar face of Matthew, one of Jacob’s teammates. A face that she’s seen obviously on ice for the games she’s attended since her sister started dating Jacob, but also at some of the team parties that Claire’s invited her to or made her tag along as her plus one. “That’s assuming I’d take your offer to let you buy me one, let alone three.”

“Ouch, tough crowd,” he replied, holding his right hand to his chest, right over his heart and rubbing against his gray t-shirt.

“Sorry,” Riley dramatically pouted as she shrugged. “Did I bruise your hockey player ego by turning down your horrible pick up line? Like seriously, does that even work?”

He moved away from the corner of the bar and came up beside her, resting his arms against it. “Who said it was a line? Maybe I was really looking forward to buying you a drink. Plus, maybe I was also sent over here to make sure no creeps are creepy towards you. You know the whole plus one, stay together thing.”

The bartender placed the last drink in front of her and Riley quickly handed over her card before looking at him with a shrug. “Looks like you failed your mission.” The bartender placed her card back down onto the bar in front of her, along with a receipt and a pen. Riley quickly scribbled her signature and a tip before sliding it across the bar and putting her card back into her phone and looking at Matthew. “Both missions actually, cause I just bought my own drink.”

Matthew rolled his eyes before looking at the bartender and nodding his head, holding up two fingers– Riley taking that as the opportunity to grab her drinks and head back towards the booth. “Hey!” She turned around to see Matthew leaning against the bar, nodding at her with a smile. “The night’s still young. That’s plenty of time for me to buy you that drink!”

“Not unless you find someone else to entertain your time and horrible pick up lines,” Riley smiled back, nodding her head for him to look behind him as a girl was just getting ready to tap him on the shoulder– her intentions for him very clear. “Just don’t use that buy you a drink one.” Riley winked and turned back towards where she was walking, carefully making her way back over to the booth where Claire and the rest of the girls were.

“Riles!” Claire cheered, holding up her empty shot glass before putting it back onto the table. “Where are Kels and Kylie?”

“You guys have some bar crashers!” Riley replied, placing the drinks that belonged to Kylie and Kelsey down onto the table, then covering them with one of the napkins that came wrapped around the cup. “Some of the guys are here and they went to go talk to them.”

“Ugh! All of the bars for a girls night out and they choose this one?” Meredith complained, rolling her eyes and finishing off her drink, then standing up. “I need another drink.”

Once she made her way out of the booth with another girl following behind, Claire took that opportunity to slide over next to Riley. “Get the sourpuss look off your face, have fun and relax, Ri!”

“I am, I’m having a ball! Lame pick up line, alcoholic drink and all!” Riley replied, leaning towards Claire so she could hear her.

“Pick up line? Who tried to pick you up?!” Claire smiled, practically beaming at the idea of Riley getting some sort of attention in the romance department. “Come up, point them out!”

“It was just one of Jacob’s teammates, it was nothing serious–”

Claire grabbed onto her arm, gripping it as her smile grew bigger. “Who! Who! You need to tell me who it was right now!”

Riley rolled her eyes, still able to see where Matthew was standing at the bar…the girl who Riley had told him about, standing next to him a little close and the two talking. She pointed out towards the bar and looked at Claire. “Him.”

She watched as Claire’s focus moved all across the bar before landing on where Riley had been pointing. Riley waited for a falter in her sister’s expression, but all stayed the same aside from Claire laughing and shaking her head. “Oh, Matthew? He’s harmless! A flirt, but a harmless one.”

“Clearly since he’s already moved on from wanting to buy me a drink and insisting on that he will,” Riley replied, turning her attention away from Matthew and the girl at the bar. “But how about we try not to shove any potential attractive male down my throat?”

“But that’s no–”

“You want me to let loose and have a good time?” Riley asked, sipping on the straw in her drink as Claire nodded. “Okay, then stop trying to pawn me off to any guy who shows a remote sense of interest.”

Claire rolled her eyes and sipped on a lighter drink that Riley knew was probably a margarita. “Did you at least think he was cute? Matthew?”

Riley sighed. “I’m not into that right now Claire, you know this. I’m not looking for–”

“A relationship, or love, or someone who will drag you out of the house on a Friday night so you can’t sit on your couch and watch One Tree Hill at night,” Claire replied, waving a hand at Riley and brushing her off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But appease me just this once…do you think he’s cute?”

Riley looked back over to the bar where she watched Matthew take two beers from the bartender before saying something to the girl and then turning around, leaving her at the bar and walking back towards the group of his teammates. “I mean…yeah, he’s cute–”

“Thank you,” Claire smiled, hugging her sister and then pulling away, clinking her cup against hers. “Now was that too hard?”

“I think I just felt a piece of my soul wither and fall off actually,” Riley smiled, taking another sip of her drink as she looked at her sister.

“Oh stop being an old hag,” Claire laughed, shoving her playfully. “You’re way too young and pretty to be so old and bitter.”

Riley laughed, shaking her head. “You do realize that made no sense, right?”

“What can I say?” Claire smiled, shrugging her shoulders as she took another sip of her drink. “The tequila’s strong.”

DAY 22 – JANUARY 22ND, 2022 [ FIRST "DATE ]

“For the love of everything that is good and holy, why the hell did you and Jacob think tonight would be a great idea for a double date?” Riley sighed, tugging the ends of her thin sweater sleeves over her hands and bunching the material in her fists before crossing her arms. “Hockey games end at an average of what? Ten o’clock? Assuming they don’t go into an overtime and a shootout.”

“Oh hush,” Claire replied, waving her off. “It was an additional half hour, it won’t kill you if you’re not in bed before midnight for one night. Besides, you’re 24 and in the prime of your youth. I think staying out for a night would do you some good.”

“Some of us have homework and class–”

“In two days, Riley. It’s a Saturday night, you have no responsibilities until Monday morning, so stop complaining.” Claire turned away from Riley, looking down towards the locker room door where Jacob and the rest of the players were set to come out of.

Technically, Claire was right. Riley didn’t have any responsibilities until Monday morning and that’s more in part to the fact that she didn’t even have any homework due, that was just something she blurted out the moment Claire asked her earlier in the day if she would come to the game tonight with her. It didn’t take much budging for Riley to say no, after all, she loved Jacob and having grown up in St. Louis, her family often went to Blues games– so she enjoyed the game as well. However, once they got to the arena and Claire spilled about how they would also be going on a double date as well, with Riley being the other participant in the other couple, the slight good mood she had came crumbling down.

Claire refused to tell her who she was being forced to go on a date with, other than it was someone that she knew of and they knew Riley would be the girl he was on a date with. Halfway through the game, only when Riley threatened to call herself an uber home did Claire tell her that the date was actually one of Jacob’s teammates– a teammate who had expressed interest to Jacob about Riley that night they were all out at the same bar, despite it being girls night. Jacob told Claire and apparently the two of them had talked for a few days, Claire even talking to the teammate before finally agreeing that she was willing to set Riley up on a double AND blind date.

Though she was of course more than willing to from the jump, just like she’s been trying to hook her up with any male she thought she was a great fit for ever since high school. And it was all the same– she’d buy into her plan, go on the date, either liking the guy or he would ruin any potential feelings within seconds by saying something super misogynistic or just overall not being her type and then she’d end the night saying bye and going home by herself.

It was actually quite a process and one that Riley's come to love, because sure, while having an occasional guy in her bed for an hour or two was nice, she was never one to want to actually share her bed. Claire says she has commitment issues, but Riley liked to think of it as not bothering to settle down for any amount of time if she knew the guy was just going to waste it.

Which of course, everytime their parents came to visit or they traveled home on Holidays, meant her love life was often the topic of discussion. But that’s what happens when Claire’s basically on her way to an engagement and Brendan, their younger brother, had finally managed to convince his long time best friend Evelyn to date him.

Riley was the black sheep her parents worried about, wondering whether or not they’d ever see her bring a boyfriend home for Christmas, walk down an aisle and eventually grace them with grandchildren.

“Look, there’s Jacob now,” Claire said, standing up straight from leaning against the wall and waving her hand up slightly in the air to catch his attention.

Riley looked up from the dull arena hall floor to see Claire’s boyfriend of a little over a year, Jacob Markstrom, walking over, half expecting to see whichever teammate the two of them decided to hook her up with for the night. Jacob was nice and their parents loved him from the moment they’d accidentally met him leaving Riley and Claire’s shared apartment when they had only been dating for four months. Riley told Claire she was going to the airport to pick up their parents and yet the moment they all walked up to the door, out came strolling the 6’6” goalie in all his Swedish and slightly hungover glory.

And much to Claire’s embarrassment and Riley’s amusement, their parents invited him out to lunch later that day and they fell in love with him. There isn’t a single text or phone call between their parents where they don’t ask how Jacob’s doing and seeing if he wanted to come over for the holiday or any other small, family event.

“Good game babe,” Claire smiled, immediately walking into the blonde’s arms and giving him a hug. “Proud of you for blocking those shots there in the shootout.”

“If only I could’ve blocked more in regulation, then we wouldn’t have needed an overtime or shootout.” Jacob replied, leaning down and kissing her, keeping his arm on the small of her. “But thank you älskling, I appreciate it.”

“Hey future brother-in-law, is there any way you could tell me who this mystery date of mine is?” Riley sighed, letting her arms drop as she stood up straight. “Claire Bear over here wouldn’t even give me a single hint aside from he’s one of your teammates.”

Jacob laughed, nodding his head and looking down at Claire. “I don’t know, I think I’ve been sworn to secrecy too. But he should’ve been right behind me,”

“I didn’t see him,” Claire shook her head, looking back behind them as more of the players started to file out in groups before looking back at Jacob. “He didn’t change his mind, did he?”

Jacob shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of, he was talking about it before the game and asking how the driving situation would work. I didn’t tell him–”

“You know what? No big deal,” Riley smiled, feeling relieved as she waved them off and dug into her purse to grab her phone. “You guys go ahead and go on the date and I’ll order myself an uber and go back to my–”

“Hey sorry I’m late, I was just giving Meredith the number of some party planner my mom knows out in Boston. I guess she wants to surprise Johnny with a party out there this summer for his birthday.”

Riley looked up from her purse to see the all too familiar face of Matthew Tkachuk, only this time he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt and some jeans like he’d been wearing at the bar. This time he was wearing a suit– a nice navy blue one at that– and had a black coat draped over his arm. Riley would be lying if she said he wasn’t cute in normal clothes, but she would be lying even more if she said seeing him dressed up in a suit made him even more attractive. She won’t even think about seeing him in full uniform, mostly because honestly, she spent the entire night barely paying attention to the game and trying to figure out who her mystery date was.

It turns out it was–

“Him?” She asked, looking at Claire. “He’s my date?”

“Uh,” Matthew chimed in, holding up a hand. “I’m kind of right here.”

Claire turned away from her and towards Matthew. “Sorry for my sister, Matt. Ri can be rude sometimes.”

Riley didn’t miss the sharp change in her tone when Claire had called her rude, and maybe she was. But it was her initial reaction and Claire knew about the bump in at the bar because Riley had told her. She’d even laughed about it– “oh Matthew? He’s harmless. A flirt, but a harmless one.”

And yet here Claire was, setting her sister up on a date with the “harmless flirt” she’d talked about only a little over a week ago.

“Sorry,” Riley replied, looking down at her purse again and bringing her phone out of it, checking the time. “Claire, can we get going? It’s getting kind of late.”

“Of course, let’s get going,” Jacob nodded, looking back at her sister before the two started to walk off, leaving just her and Matthew standing there.

“After you,” Matthew said, motioning for her to walk. Riley crossed her arms again close to her chest as she turned around to follow behind Jacob and Claire, Matthew walking beside her. “I’m sorry if you were expecting someone else.”

“What?”

Matthew nodded ahead of them towards Jacob and Claire. “You seemed like you were expecting someone else.”

Riley felt her cheeks begin to heat up as she adjusted her arms. “No, not at all. I mean, I–”

“You literally said ‘him’ and didn’t look pleased,” Matthew replied, his free hand in his pants pocket as he shrugged. “I’m not offended, I’m just apologizing if they told you something different. Jacob told me you knew.”

“I knew about the double date, and Claire only told me about it once we got to the arena and she knew I wouldn’t pay for an uber back to my apartment with the traffic.” Riley replied, looking ahead of them just as Jacob and Claire seemed to be hiding the fact they took a quick glance behind them. “So I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”

Matthew laughed and the first thing Riley noticed was his smile. He hadn’t smiled at the bar, not a full one– just a smirky smile, which at the time she thought that maybe was his trick into getting girls to think he’d had feelings for them or was interested in them.

He has a really nice smile.

“Trust me, nothing you could say would make me feel bad,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Between the chirps between my brother and sister– hell, my parents too and then the stuff online, I’ve got some pretty thick skin.”

“Oh yeah, professional hockey player, I forgot,” Riley laughed softly, hugging her arms closer to her again as they caught up to Jacob and Claire and stepped into the garage within the Saddledome where players and employees of the team alike, parked.

“Okay so here’s the thing,” Claire said, clasping her hands together and looking up at Jacob before looking back at her and Matthew. “We forgot we promised to facetime into a call to Jacob’s family. His sister’s got some news to share and wanted everyone to be on a call.”

Riley’s jaw dropped as she stared at her sister, who conveniently was avoiding her gaze. “Claire–”

“But it’s still pretty early so you guys feel free to grab some coffee or a drink, hang out and get to know each other. Just because it’s not a double date, doesn’t mean it still can’t be a date,” Claire smiled, finally looking over in her direction only to be greeted with an ‘I know you had this planned all along’ look from her sister. “Matthew, I trust you to get my sister back to her apartment safely? Or you can just take her back to your place–”

“Claire!” Riley spoke through gritted teeth, blinking obviously at her sister who was already dragging Jacob away from them both.

“Text me in the morning! Have a good night!” Claire smiled, waving at the both of them as Jacob followed behind, he too lifted a large arm to wave his hand in the air.

Riley watched helplessly as they got into his car, turning around to face Matthew once she heard the sound of an engine start. “I am…so, so sorry for that.” She scoffed softly, shaking her head in disbelief. “Claire’s pretty straightforward, but I promise I had no idea she was going to do that. You really don’t have to feel obligated to take me home or anything.”

“It’s fine,” Matthew replied, shaking his head as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and holding onto his keys. “I can take you home if you want to go.”

She felt guilty, partly because she was so embarrassed to have been blatantly left there by her sister and the other half because she knew this isn’t what Matthew had signed up for at all. He was expecting a double date, a double date where the girl knew who she was going out with. He didn’t sign up for a surprise double date or to have said double date crash and then be left with possibly no date and to take his stranded date home.

“If it’s not too much?” Riley finally spoke, feeling uncomfortable with her own guilt. “I promise I don’t live too far away. I’m actually only about five minutes away from where Jacob and Claire live if you know it?”

“I know it,” he nodded, motioning again for her to start walking as he walked beside her. “Claire’s quite the host when it comes to team stuff. The Thanksgiving they held at their place this year was pretty fun. Though, you weren’t there I don’t think.”

“That’s right, I forgot she did that,” Riley nodded in reply. “I went home since I didn’t have any classes, but I remember her saying she and a few others were going to do something. But yeah, Claire’s quite the hostess. Life of the party even.”

“She’s something,” Matthew nodded, quickening his pace just a little before coming to a stop by a black Audi SUV and opening the passenger door. “I started the car once we entered the garage, so it should be warmer here.”

“Oh,” Riley was caught off guard. Despite the action itself being bottom of the barrel of what men were expected to do, Riley truly couldn’t remember the last time any date she had, had opened any door for her…not just a car door. “Thank you.”

Matthew just nodded in reply and waited for her to get into the car before he checked to make sure her feet or her purse weren’t hanging out so he could close the door. And though he could’ve taken his time to walk around, she watched him walk around the back of his car with a sort of urgency, not leaving her alone inside for long before he was opening the driver door and ducking into the car.

He fiddled with the radio for a bit before picking up an aux cord and offering it up to her. “You’re more than welcome to have the aux. I’m not all too picky with music.”

“Are you sure?” Riley asked, looking at him to see if she could spot any sign of him changing his mind.

“Absolutely, you can have it,” he said, handing the cord over.

Riley took it from his hand and plugged it into her phone, unlocking it and opening her music library. “Any requests?”

“Just whatever you want to play,” he said, looking away from her as he put his seatbelt on and then put his car into reverse.

She felt nervous sitting there in his car and she didn’t know if it was because she was sitting in the car of someone who was basically a stranger to her, or because of the kind of date setting. It took everything in her not to physically move in her seat to try to get the nerves out, so instead she just endlessly scrolled through her music library, not even picking a song.

“My family and I play this game when it comes to what songs to play, that way there’s not one person who’s picking all the songs,” she said, breaking the silence as she looked at him.

“What’s that?” He asked, sneaking a look at her before maintaining his focus on backing out of his parking spot to eventually straighten up and leave the garage.

“We each took turns picking a letter and a number. Whatever letter someone picks, you’ll scroll down to the number they picked and then that’s the song.”

“Okay, I got it,” Matthew nodded, looking at her as he pulled out of the garage. “B 163.”

Riley stared at him, blinking once or twice. “In what universe would you ever think I have 163 songs that start with the letter B?”

“I don’t know, I just went with a random mix,” he shrugged, looking at her. “So do you?”

“Maybe.” She knew she did. So she just bit back the smile that was trying to reveal her cards and looked back down at her phone, scrolling to the B’s and then starting to count.

Matthew pulled out into the street as she reached 90 and saw she was passing some pretty great songs, and made mental notes of what numbers they were…which was technically cheating, but her brother did it all the time.

158…right? Wait yeah 158…159….160….161….162….Oh no.

This could either go one of two ways– he could hear the song and enjoy it, or he could look at her like she was just a 12-year-old who never grew up and speed the entire way to drop her off at her own apartment, just so he could get her out of the car.

Wait? Isn’t that what she wanted?

Not wasting another moment, she took a deep breath and pressed the song, closing her eyes to prepare for whatever critique Matthew was going to hurl her way.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye as the piano started to play from the speakers, only giving him a second of instrumental before the vocals picked up and giving away just what song was playing.

“We’re soarin’, flyin’, there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach. If we’re tryin’, so we’re breaking free…”

“Is this High School Musical?” He smiled, looking at her as they pulled up to a stoplight.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling sheepishly as she rubbed her arm. “My music library’s kind of all over the place and sometimes I like listening to the old Disney classics.”

He laughed, nodding his head as he reached out and turned the volume dial up just a little. “I remember watching this when it came out. I was always a hockey player, but that’s when I discovered that maybe I wasn’t exactly a basketball player.”

“Oh God, why can I see you dressed up as Troy Bolton for Halloween?” Riley laughed, looking at him.

Matthew’s face scrunched up as she shook his head. “Oh hell no, never. I was always a hockey player for Halloween, never the same one unless it was my Dad. But my brother and I switched each year on who got to be him.” He looked over at her with that same smirk from the bar. “But I do know the words to the song.”

“Go on then,” Riley smiled, motioning towards the radio. “Sing it.”

Matthew cleared his throat as he turned the music down just barely, as if the difference in volume would make a difference in whether or not she’d be able to hear him sing. “We’re soarin’, flyin’, there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach. If we’re tryin’, yeah we’re breaking free–”

“Okay, no, no,” Riley laughed, reaching out and turning the volume way down as Matthew laughed. “I’m sorry, but I can not have you butchering the musical stylings of Troy and Gabriella like that.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad of a singer!”

“Yeah, it’s cute that you try.”

The car rolled to a stop as the song continued to play quietly, Matthew tapping his fingers on the top of his steering wheel and chewing the inside of his cheek as he stared ahead at the red light, waiting for it to turn green. “I normally stay up a little bit after games because it takes me some time to wind down, and the coffee shop I usually go to is on the way to your apartment…” He looked at her, and even Riley wasn’t oblivious to the nerves written all over his face. “Would you want to stop and grab something to drink maybe?”

“I could go for a hot chocolate or something,” Riley nodded, looking at him.

“Okay, cool,” Matthew smiled, looking back towards the light as it turned green and kept driving.

It turns out that the coffee shop Matthew had mentioned, was only a few blocks up ahead from where they had been. They were closing soon and Matthew asked if she would be okay with staying in the car while he went to grab their drinks, just so she didn’t have to walk out into the cold January air. He stayed nearby, making sure she locked it once he had left and then Riley watched through the passenger window as he walked into the coffee shop with the same urgency as he had when he walked around his car.

She knew of Matthew only because of living in the city of Calgary who took their hockey very seriously. Plus, her sister was dating their goalie and Riley had tagged along to some events and nights out with the girlfriends and wives of players. Most importantly, his dad was treasured back home in her hometown of St. Louis, having played there during the years where she and her family had gone to games. But never in her entire life had she crossed paths with Matthew or his family– not until she moved to Calgary, not until Claire started dating Jacob, and most definitely not until last week at the bar or this moment right now sitting in his car, waiting for him to come back with their hot drinks. 

Riley saw Matthew place money in a tip jar before turning back around with two drinks in hand. Once she saw he was at her door, she rolled the window down to take the drinks from him and placed them into the cupholder before unlocking the car so he could get back into the car. 

“So I know I said I’d take you home, but can I show you something first?” He asked, picking up one of the drinks and handing it to her. “They’re both hot chocolate by the way, so you don’t have to take this one.”

“No it’s fine,” she replied, taking the cup. “And I mean…sure? I guess I’m not really all that tired right now.”

“Cool. I promise it’s not too far, it’s actually just around the corner,” he smiled, putting the car into park and peeling into the street before continuing to drive.

She sat in the passenger seat, sipping on her hot chocolate as Matthew continued the drive, eventually pulling into the parking garage of an apartment complex that Riley had considered moving into herself shortly before moving out of her and Claire’s shared apartment. They drove up to the second level before finally finding a spot, Matthew pulling into it and putting the car into park.

“It’s just a little bit of a walk, but not much, I promise,” Matt said, looking at her before opening his car door and getting out.

Riley followed suit, making sure she had her phone, purse and hot chocolate before closing the passenger door and walking towards the end of the car. “I actually considered moving here a year ago.”

“Really?” Matthew asked, standing by the trunk and waiting for her to be beside him before they started walking. “Too bad you didn’t. Maybe we could’ve been neighbors.”

Riley snorted, shaking her head as she took a long sip of her hot chocolate. “That’s doubtful. I don’t have NHL money.”

Matthew stopped just ahead of her and stood in her way, holding out his hand and motioning for her. “Here, put this on,” he held his coat out as he nodded at her drink in her hand. “I’ll hold your drink.”

“Oh, it’s really no–”

“I’ve at least got a long sleeve shirt and a jacket on to keep me warm, you’ve got…whatever kind of sweater that is.” He moved the winter coat again, “just take it, you’ll need it I promise.”

Instead of arguing with him, Riley just sighed and nodded and handed over her hot chocolate before taking the black winter coat he’d had draped over his arm at the arena, unfolding it and putting it on, buttoning only the middle button so it wouldn’t stay open. “There, I’m a little warmer now.”

“Good, because Claire would kill me if I let you freeze to death I’m sure.” He replied, handing her back her drink before nodding his head back. “Come on, I’ll take you to what I wanted to show you.”

“As long as I’m in my own bed by midnight and you’re not going to turn me into the next inspiration for a Criminal Minds episode when they come back with their reboot, then okay.”

She walked alongside him as he scanned a key fob to get into the building, once again Matthew holding the door open for her and allowing her to walk in first before following just behind her and nodding his head to his left. “The elevator right here.”

“So what’s this thing you want to show me?” She asked, waiting for him to close the door behind him.

“It’s a surprise,” he replied, making sure the door closed behind him before walking over and nodding at the elevator button. “You should feel special because I don’t show this spot to just anyone.” He looked at her with that same playful smirk.

Riley pressed the button, signaling for the elevator to come to the floor they were on and when the double doors opened, they both walked into the elevator, Matthew pressing the close doors button as well as the button at the top of them all that had only say T. As the elevator started to move, Riley leisurely sipped on her hot chocolate, Matthew doing the same as they waited for the elevator to come to a stop.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” she chimed, the words she meant to say earlier when he brought up going somewhere else instead of taking her right home, finally coming out. “I meant what I said about being back in my own bed by midnight.” 

“Relax,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “My mom raised me right, you know.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me you’ve never had a one night stand? Mr. makes a million dollars a year, basically the face of a franchise and NHL player?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she brought the cup back up to her lips.

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, Matthew stepped towards the doors, holding his arm out in front of them and waving for her to walk through. “Actually I’m earning nine million this year,” he replied, tilting his head to the side as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and sighing. “And I’m hardly the face of a franchise, that’s Johnny. And no, I didn’t say that, just come on will you?”

She followed his directions, stepping off of the elevator and back out into the cold January air. “Where are we?” She asked, holding her hot chocolate closer to her chest as she heard the elevator doors close behind her.

“I found it when I moved in,” he said, nodding at her to follow him as he started to walk away from the elevator and down the wheelchair ramp. “The owner of the complex doesn’t advertise it when people check into living here, mainly because it has no standing on the rent.”

There were small posts that hung garden lights from around them, dimly lighting the space they were on. As Riley looked around, she noticed a different variety of lounge chairs– the kinds you could find in gardens, on front porches or even poolside. She could see off to their left, was what looked to be a small garden, though again the light that the garden lights hung around the seating area didn’t really show all that much. She could, however, see the fire pit that sat in the center of all of the chairs, letting her know that this must be some kind of hang out spot for the complex. Maybe if she had looked deeper into this complex when she was searching for a new apartment, she might’ve known about it.

“Over there’s a small community garden, I think there’s a few vegetables and spices, but really it’s only flowers. I asked the owner about it when I came up here one day after drunk pressing the wrong floor and he said he puts a place like this on all of his properties, in memory of his wife who died of breast cancer because she loved to garden.” Matthew walked away from the garden and just passed some of the chairs before coming to a stop on the other side of the rooftop, where there were no dim garden lights. “The whole terrace is supposed to be a kind of place where people can come out and relax, clear their minds, you know? But I’ve never seen anyone come up here.”

“Maybe because it’s cold,” Riley said, walking up next to him and leaning her arms against the ledge of the terrace.

Matthew rolled his eyes and rested his hot chocolate on the ledge. “You don’t say?”

“Just pointing out the obvious is all,” she smiled, taking another sip of her hot chocolate as she looked towards the other side of the terrace. “The idea of it is nice though, I like it. Plus the view,” she blew out a low whistle as she looked back out towards downtown Calgary. “It’s beautiful. I can only imagine what it looks like during the day.”

“I like it better at night,” Matthew replied, tapping his fingers against his cup as he shrugged. “It helps clear my mind a bit after games.”

“Only if you’re not going out with the boys, right?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Right,” he laughed, nodding his head as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and shrugged. “It kind of reminds me of looking out of the airplane window when you’re flying at night, you know? Seeing all the lights from the buildings in the city you’re flying over and how there’s a whole city of people who are living their lives individually. It makes you realize just how big the world is.”

Riley let a few moments of silence pass as she let her cooling down hot chocolate cup try to warm up her hands before she nodded and looked at him. “Wow…that was deep for a hockey player.”

He laughed and shook his head as he kept his eyes out towards the cityscape, opening his mouth to say something, only to pause and stand up straight from his leaning stature, pointing ahead of him. “Wait, look!”

Riley raised an eyebrow as she looked out over the city lights and out towards the far away, dark horizon. “What?”

“This is going to sound ridiculous, but I swear I saw a shooting star,” Matthew kept his gaze out ahead of him for a few more seconds before he let his hand drop and he looked at her. “Like…no bullshit it moved.”

“Orrrrr,” she dragged out, looking at him. “Maybe it was an airplane.”

“Moving that fast? Really?”

“You never know with guys like Elon Musk trying to build crazy shit and defy the inevitable every second of every day,” she replied, bringing her cup back up to her lips as she turned back towards the city.

Matthew let the silence settle between them, though she could still feel his gaze on her and his body being turned towards her as well. “You’re a lot different than your sister…”

“Says you and every other person who’s walked into our lives.” Riley shrugged, holding her cup with both hands. “Claire’s a lot more…hopeful, she likes to see the petter picture of options and I’m more–”

“Of a cynical bitch?” Riley almost choked on her sip of air, rather than hot chocolate seeing as she hadn’t tipped her cup far enough yet, and when she looked at Matthew, he was looking at her with wide eyes. “Sorry…are we not at that level of friendship yet?”

This time she laughed as she placed her cup down onto the ledge and nodded. “Actually, I was going to say the same thing.”

“So…why is that?” He asked, reaching out and gripping his fingers onto the concrete ledge as he leaned himself backwards, almost as if he was stretching his arms. “You guys are what? Only a little over a year apart?”

“You said you have a brother right?” She asked, as he nodded in reply. “Are you and your brother the same person?”

“Well…kind of?” He replied, shrugging. “But he can get a little more crazy than me. Plus he’s got that whole middle child thing going on, so he always needs to be the center of attention.”

“Hey, I’m a middle child,” Riley faked offense, reaching out and nudging his arm.

“You said it, not me.” Matthew smiled, tilting his head to the side. “But really…siblings having their individual personalities aside…you guys aren’t that far apart in age, so I guess I just figured you’d be a little bit alike, you know”

“I don’t know,” Riley took a deep breath and sighed as she shrugged her shoulders and looked at him. “Claire will say it’s because of my Junior year prom date standing me up and going to prom with his ex-girlfriend– why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” He asked, trying to fight back the knowing smirk that was already present on his face.

“Smirking,” she said, turning her body towards him and waving at his face. “You’re smirking and nodding like you just figured something out.”

“More like figured you out,” he replied, pulling himself closer to the ledge before letting go of the concrete and bringing his arms into his chest as he rested them on the ledge and leaned against them. “And I don’t think you’re as cynical as you think or want people to think you are. I just think you’re scared.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t know me.”

“No,” he replied, looking over at her. “But I’d like to…get to know you.”

Riley squinted as she held her arms closer to her and leaned against the ledge, almost copying him. “Why?”

“Well for one, I think it’s cool we’re from the same city–”

“Technically state, because you’re from boujee Chesterfield.”

“And second…I think you’re funny and I definitely liked how you were at the club.”

“Ohhhh,” Riley smiled, nodding at him. “So you liked how I didn’t fall for your little pick up routine, right? Let me guess…you like the challenge?”

Matthew didn’t smile or put that smirk on like she thought he would, like most men would the moment the challenge of picking up a woman was brought up. Instead he just stuck out his bottom lip partially and shrugged. “I don’t see you as a challenge because you’re a person…but you’ve piqued my interest and I’d like to get to know you better. Plus your sister’s dating my teammate so.”

Riley turned back towards him and leaned her left arm on the railing. “Well I hate to break it to you Matthew, but I really don’t see this happening. Relationships and I don’t really do well–”

“Oh? So you admit it?” He asked, raising both eyebrows as he turned towards her. “You want a relationship?”

“I– no, that’s not–” Riley huffed in frustration as soon as she saw him smile and then rolled her eyes in an effort to keep her own smile at bay. “Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“I’ll let you consider this our first date,” she replied, nodding at him before curling her upper lip slightly. “Though it’s not looking too good that you spent the first near two hours of our date smashing other guys into boards, plus the extra thirty minutes of waiting after…and not to mention you didn’t even give me a puck.”

Matthew laughed, a deep, belly laugh as he head leaned back just slightly before nodding and looking at her. “Okay, so I’ll have to make the second date better then. Don’t worry, I got it.”

“Wow. Already giving up on this one that you think it’s going to end badly? What? Afraid I’ll tell my sister how bad of a kisser you are when you try to kiss me tonight?”

That stupid smirk returned as he stood himself up straight and turned to her. Riley wanted to do nothing more than to kiss it off of his stupid lips and by the way he looked at her, he knew it too. “That’s the thing, I’m not kissing you tonight. Come on, let me take you home.”

“And why not?” Riley’s eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed her hot chocolate and followed behind him back towards the chairs. “Am I not kissable?”

He laughed again, finishing off his hot chocolate before tossing it into the trashcan, holding the slot open for her as she finished what remained of hers and tossed it in as well. “Oh no, you’re definitely kissable and I’m fighting every urge right now not to kiss you.” He led them up to the elevator and he pressed the button. “But my mom always taught me not to kiss on the first date.”

Riley hugged her arms closer to her, starting to feel the Calgary chill as the wind started to pick up. If she wasn’t so cold, she was sure that the shock of his statement would be frozen all over her face. Here he was, a 24-year-old bachelor living in a city that praised the ice he skated on. He’d had one night stands, he told her that, and yet she wouldn’t…couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact Matthew Tkachuk…didn’t kiss on the first date?

“I-well..that’s…” she paused, unsure of how to play off her shock despite her already failing so miserably to do so. “Sweet.”

Matthew smiled, nodding his head. “And if you let me take you home so you don’t freeze to death, I guarantee you’ll learn more about me on our second date…and maybe get a kiss at the end of that too.”

Riley scoffed, shaking her head and standing up straight as the elevator doors opened. “I’m not cold.”

“Say that to the shivering sound of your teeth when you were doubting my shooting star,” he reached out and rested his hand on the small of her back, nudging her into the warmth of the elevator first, keeping it there as he walked into the elevator himself, removing it once they were both inside of the elevator and he pressed the button of the floor they needed to go to and her back pressed against the elevator wall.

It didn’t matter though. She felt the warmth of his hand against her skin through both his jacket and her flimsy sweater the rest of the elevator ride, the car ride back to her apartment and when she was lying in her own bed.

At 11:59.

DAY 43 – FEBRUARY 12TH, 2022 [ IT'S OFFICIAL ]

How the hell did I get here?

That’s a question Riley found herself asking herself anytime that she woke up in Matthew’s apartment. Whether that was on his couch or in his bed, she always wondered. And the question wasn’t asked in a “I got too drunk last night how the hell did I get here” way, it was more of a “how the hell did I end up waking up in the apartment of a man, most of the time not hungover or after a wild night out– but instead after receiving the text of ‘just landed, not tired, feel like coming over to watch a movie?’” Kind of way.

Only a handful of times in the last three weeks has she found herself waking up in his apartment with her head throbbing, her mouth dry from drinking and the taste of her drunken meal lingering in her morning breath. The rest of the time she’s woken up from falling asleep on the couch watching a movie or a show one of his teammates or his friends from home or his siblings suggested he watched, waking up in his bed curled up beneath his heavy comforter with her head sharing the space with his on his all-time favorite pillow.

But no matter how she ended up at his apartment or the circumstances behind how she fell asleep and where, the two things that were consistent every single time, were her wearing one of his shirts and that she always woke up with his arms wrapped around her. Unless, like this morning, he somehow woke up before her and she was greeted to an empty bed. But the smell of food and the sound of running water and pans clinking echoing from behind his closed bedroom door told her exactly where he was and what he was doing.

Riley got out of bed, turning towards the mattress and making her side of the bed up and looking up to see that he had already done it, even though he’s always made a joke at how the first thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is make the bed– even if he’s still in it. She walked over to his dresser, opening the third drawer which she knew had his gym shorts in it and pulled out a black pair before closing the drawer and then putting the shorts on, rolling the waistband once before opening his bedroom door and walking out into his apartment, immediately seeing him standing in his kitchen by the stove, his back facing her.

She walked over, feeling the cool of the wooden floor beneath her feet as she made her way through both the living room and dining room and into the kitchen, the tile even colder. She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and standing up on her toes to rest her chin on his shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”

“Well good morning sleeping beauty,” Matt laughed, looking at her and lifting his right arm up to let her move under it so she was resting against his side. “I didn’t think you’d be getting up for another hour.”

“Mm, I smelled breakfast,” she smiled, looking up at him and leaning up to kiss him before turning back  and snuggling into his side. “Which I assume you’re making for yourself?”

“Ha ha, no,” he replied, rolling his eyes as he carefully switched the spatula from his right hand to his left and flipped the omelet. “I was actually going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. But seeing as you’re awake now, do you think you can go ahead and crack the eggs and scramble them for me so I can make mine once yours is done?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I kind of like the idea of breakfast in bed, sounds super romantic actually. Almost–” she paused as the word froze in her throat. Domesticated. ‘Almost domesticated’ is what she was going to say, but she couldn’t…wouldn’t, really.

Sure, it’s already been almost three weeks since that failed blind double date, turned…sort of first date for her and Matthew and maybe by now, especially with as often as they talked and how much time they spent together between her classes and his schedule, including just how many times post game they tagged along to a late dinner with Claire and Jacob or another player and their significant other…they never had a talk about being official. A “what are we” conversation has definitely happened, Matthew first brought it up one month in, stating that he didn’t want to just be a hook-up, but also wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship yet and her stance was the same. The conversation ended with no solid answer, but they both decided to continue with…whatever this was anyway.

Because then, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted. A relationship was…a possibility in the cards, but at that point in time it didn’t feel like she could truly open herself up to one, especially one with him. Yet here she was, almost two months later and the word ‘domesticated’ almost came out of her mouth to describe the very action Matthew was doing– making them breakfast.

And for the first time since high school, she wanted to be in a relationship. More importantly, she wanted to be in one with him…but she’d gone along with not wanting a relationship he brought up first, so maybe it would be best to just play along with whatever they were doing until Matthew changed his mind.

And hopefully he changed his mind.

“Riles?”

“Hm?” She asked, shaking her head slightly before looking up at him.

“The eggs?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she nodded, unwrapping her arms from his waist and walking over to the fridge.

“Did I lose you there for a second?” He laughed, flipping the omelet again before picking up the pan and tilting it, letting the omelete slide onto the plate. “You kinda paused there.”

“Oh no,  just…brain fart, you know?” She laughed, grabbing two more eggs from the fridge before closing it, walking behind him and to his left where the bowl he’d previously used was. “I was just going to say that it was almost enough to make me really like you is all.”

Matthew snorted, nodding his head as he sprayed the pan again with some pam. “So what does that mean? You only like me?”

Riley looked over her right shoulder with a playful smile and shrugged. “Eh.”

“Eh?” He mimicked, shaking his head. “Does this mean I can cancel our having no plans and go out and catch up with the rest of the guys out at the simulated golf course today?”

She immediately turned around, eyes wide as she shook her head. “Wait no, you said we could just stay in today and relax since we’re going to that big super bowl party tomorrow,” she started to pout as he walked over to her, taking the eggs from her hands. “We were supposed to start One Tree Hill today.”

Matthew cracked an egg and dropped it into the bowel before tossing the shell into the sink, shrugging as he pouted. “Eh.”

“Matthew–” Riley barely spoke before he looked at her with that stupid smirk that always made her stomach fill with butterflies. He was never going to cancel their day in, he was only messing with her. She nudged him away, taking the remaining egg back and cracking it into the bowl. “You suck.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek while simultaneously taking the bowl from her and handing her the plate with her omelete on it. “Eat your breakfast, I’ve already got the bread in the toaster so all you’ll need to do it toast it and butter it.”

Riley walked over to the toaster, pushing down the slots and then left her plate in front of it before moving just a little way over and pulling herself up onto the counter. “So…”

She paused again as she stared at the back of him, adding the cheese and spinach into his omelete. Again, she was asking herself the same ‘how the hell did I get here?’ Question that she’s been asking herself for weeks now. How, in the actual hell, did she go from cynical, romance is gross, jokingly telling Claire and Jacob to at least warn her before they were going to kiss in her presence, never getting the big hype about rom-com movies…to this? To waking up in bed with Matthew in mornings after nights where sometimes all they did was lounge on the couch and watch a new Netflix suggestion? To knowing her way around his apartment like she did her own? She had products in his shower, his clothes were hers, she kept a pair of shoes over here, he had almond milk in the fridge for her and her favorite cereal mingled in with his own. To him making her breakfast and planning on greeting her in bed with it?

It almost felt surreal, her entire situation. How did it all happen so fast, practically In the blink of an eye– like all of the rom-com’s Claire loved to watch every weekend– and she never even noticed it?

“Sooo?” Matthew echoed, bringing her back into reality as he looked over his shoulder. “Care to finish that thought?”

“I was just going to ask if you were prepared to enjoy the amazing, legendary show of One Tree Hill? And also that you can’t watch it without me, because I need to see your reaction to the most pinnacle stuff.”

“Is it really that legendary if I’ve never heard of it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over at her.

Riley rolled her eyes as their pieces of toast popped up. “Considering your only interests in life when the show was on air was hockey and oh wait…hockey!” She nudged herself off of the counter and smiled at him. “I would be surprised if you have heard of it.”

“Hey, I like to think that interest in hockey paid off, hm?” He said, turning the stove off before placing his omelete onto his plate.

“All I know is that if you’re on the wrong Scott’s brother team, I don’t know if we can be friends,” she said, taking the lid off of the butter and starting to butter the pieces of toast.

“Ouch, first I’m demoted to like and now we might not be friends?” He playfully scoffed as she put the toast onto his plate and cut it. “I guess I better not mess this up huh?” He whispered into her ear before kissing her temple and then grabbing both of their plates just as she put her toast onto her own. “Now come on, we’ve got hill trees to watch.”

“Tree Hill!” She groaned, taking the butter and putting it into the fridge. “It’s called One Tree Hill!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, shooting her a smile over his shoulder. “Now come on, it’s time to start our day of relaxing.”

And they did. They had breakfast together, starting season one, episode one of One Tree Hill at 10:30 am…and almost twelve hours later and every bathroom break, pause to answer a question and door dash delivery in between…they were on season one, episode eighteen with five more episodes left of the first season.

For Riley, it was one of her personal favorite episodes– the Boy Toy charity auction episode– and despite Matthew thinking (and complaining) it was because of Nathan Scott walking out onto the stage and taking off his jacket to reveal ‘boy toy’ written across his very impressive abs– “I might not have a six pack but I’m better.” “He’s Nathan Scott…”– it was actually because of the growth Nathan shows and then the development of the lives of the other characters and the relationships.

Still…Nathan Scott shirtless also wasn’t that bad of a sight.

But right there on the couch was where they spent their entire day, lounging around in different positions unless it came to eating food, then they both sat up, but once they were done they went back down into whatever position they’d been lying in prior. And right now, the position they were lying in and had been lying in for the better half of the last two episodes since they finished dinner, had them both sharing the chaise of Matthew’s sectional sofa. Matthew was laying the full length of it, while Riley was too, except she had her head rested in his lap and her body curled up as she laid on her right side, her head resting on his right thigh where his hands had been alternating between playing with her hair or just simply running his fingers through it.

The fact that their entire day had been spent lounging around together and more specifically, that small action of him playing with her hair, wasn’t helping her brain to keep from focusing on the domestic dilemma they were in…or maybe it was just her, because Matthew looked like he had nothing going on except for everything in the moment. The dire need to know just what exactly their situation was, was bouncing around in her head so much, that she had completely missed the last five minutes of the episode, not realizing it until she felt him reach out with his right hand to grab the remote beside him.

‘What are we doing?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Um…watching the next episode of One Tree Hill?” He replied, looking confused as he paused the tv. “Unless you don’t want to?”

She felt her face heat up at the bluntness of her question without any context and Matthew must have been able to tell she was embarrassed about something, because he motioned for her to move closer to him as he sat himself up against the back of the couch. Riley felt like a puppy with its tail between its legs as she pushed herself up and carefully moved so not to lean too much against his lap, and ended up laying down between him and the arm of the couch.

“Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed?” He asked, nodding towards the tv. “Or did I completely misread your question?”

“I mean…I wasn’t really all that straightforward with what I meant,” she spoke nervously, her left hand resting on the material of his t-shirt and playing with the ripples in the fabric.

“I’m still not sure what we’re talking about here…” He replied, his eyebrows furrowing as he rolled the remote in his hand.

Riley took a deep breath and exhaled, pushing herself up onto her right hand as she leaned back against the arm rest. “I know…we talked about how this isn’t really an exclusive hook-up situation, but you also don’t know if you want a relationship right now and I don’t know. I have products in your bathroom, I keep an extra pair of shoes here, you’ve got some stuff at my place.”

She looked up from her twiddling hands and sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess I just want to know what we are, because Claire’s got a big mouth and no doubt has told them something or referred to you as my boyfriend and I just really need to know what to tell my parents and well…everyone else when they ask…I guess?”

Matthew just stared at her and every passing second felt like it was dragging on and the longer he stayed silent, the more embarrassed she felt and wanted to play it off as if she was just sleep talking- though she knew that he wouldn’t believe it for a second.

“Okay,” he cleared his throat, readjusting his posture as he tried to turn his body more towards her. “I mean…I was going to wait till after Valentine’s Day to ask if you wanted to make it more official, because I know you hate Valentine’s Day–”

“I don’t hate Valentine’s Day,” Riley scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I just think it can be super cheesy sometimes, plus the whole,” she waved her hand aimlessly, “going all out on one day of the year and putting half-assed effort into a relationship the other 364 days is dumb.”

Matthew held back a smile as he looked at her. “Wanna date?”

Her face deadpanned as she looked at the now beaming Matthew, her heart racing within her chest. “Really? You ask like that?”

“Just kidding, but I’m also dead serious,” he replied, dropping the remote in his lap as he held onto one of her hands. “I’ve been really enjoying…whatever this has been the last two months, and I know I said I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a relationship…but I’m pretty sure now that I do. So do you want to change this,” he motioned between them with his free hand before resting his left arm back over the back of the couch. “Into us dating…officially?”

Now Riley was the one who sat there staring at him, only her mouth was slightly opened and the word, though she was dying to say it, sat there frozen on the tip of her tongue. “Riles? Now would uh…be a good time to answer?”

“Yeah?” She finally replied, before nodding her head as an unsure look crossed his face. “Yes, I mean yes.”

Matthew smiled and leaned in, pressing her against the arm of the couch as he kissed her before pulling back and looking at her. “I was going to do this the whole romantic way, you know? Flowers, chocolates, take you out to a nice dinner and I know you’re not a big fan of it, but will you also be my Valentine?”

Riley playfully scoffed as she rolled her eyes, leaning forward and pressing her nose against his. “If I must.” She kissed him again before pulling away and then patting his thigh. “Now back to One Tree Hill, we’ve got four more episodes and then we’ve finished season one.”

“Four?” He sighed, leaning his head back as she crawled back between his legs, laying back to where she was before. “We’re sleeping on the couch tonight aren’t we?”

She looked back at him with a smile and shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, we have no plans until the afternoon, we’ll get some sleep.”

Matthew picked the remote back up and started the next episode before resting it back down onto the couch beside him. He reached forward, tugging on the blanket that she was using and making sure she was covered up enough before she felt him sink back down into the couch. Riley tried hard not to let the butterflies she was feeling in her stomach turn into her own self feeling antsy as she laid there thinking about the reactions of Claire and the rest of the WAGs tomorrow when they found out that Matthew and she had finally decided to date. And then she couldn’t stop her mind from spiraling about her parents, other friends, would things change between them or would the relaxing hangouts feel like more needed to be happening? All of this was so new to her. The last time she had a “boyfriend” was in seventh grade– and who really counted those? That wasn’t this– this was so different, this was–

And as if he knew she was starting to spiral inside of her own head, Matthew started to play with her hair again, alternating between running his fingers through her hair or rubbing her hair back and out of her forehead. Soon, the worried thoughts about what their current relationship would, should or could turn into and she felt her body relax into the couch and into Matthew as she watched the show on the tv in front of them. And when her body relaxed, her eyes did too and she found it hard to keep them open long enough to retain what was actually taking place.

She’d seen One Tree Hill all the way through multiple times, so she knew all about what happened in this episode. But it was the thought of experiencing it for the first time with Matthew that kept making her open her eyes despite the time in between getting longer and longer each time. But when she felt Matthew tug the blanket up just over her shoulders, brush the hair away from her face and lean down and kiss her temple, before sitting back up. She half expected him to pause the show and switch it to something else since she knew he wasn’t really all that tired.

Yet the last thing she remembered hearing was Nathan telling Haley he fell in love with her, meaning he had stuck with watching the episode even after he knew she’d stopped paying attention. And she could’ve sworn she heard the all too familiar opening of Gavin Degraw’s “I Don’t Want to Be” right before she really fell asleep, and the feeling of Matthew’s fingers still playing in her hair.

Calming the rapidness of the butterflies in her stomach’s wings…to nothing but a small flutter, leaving her feeling all warm inside.

DAY 69 – MARCH 10TH, 2022 [ ARGUMENTS AND LATE NIGHT APOLOGIES ]

In both aspects, it would be right to say that just like their relationship, things were picking up fast in their day to day lives. For Riley, the end of her final semester of college was only two some months away and she found her days filled with coffee, power naps, study sessions with her classmates or Kelsey, papers and of course, Calgary Flames home games. For Matthew, the end of the season was approaching fast and it was he and everyone of his teammate’s mission to make it into the postseason after missing out the year before. This year felt like maybe they could do it, find the redemption from the 2020 bubble playoffs where they imploded.

Yet despite the chaos going on in their lives, everything in regards to their relationship felt almost too good to be true. Riley found herself staying over at Matthew’s apartment more often than her own, and on the nights when she would leave campus late and was too tired to make the drive to his, he’d drive over to hers and stay with her. They’d cook dinner together or order take-out, talk about their days and listen as the other vented about whatever it was that was on their mind or bothering them, then they’d either watch tv and fall asleep on the couch or go find some sort of solace in a bedroom.

Tonight was going to be the same as the last two weeks as well. Riley would go to class while Matthew went to morning skate, he’d go through his daily routine while she stayed on campus for other classes and hiding away in the library to try her best to knock out her homework and get a little more of her paper down. Then she’d meet up with Claire and Kelsey at Claire’s apartment and then they’d go to Saddledome for the game. It felt like any other night, really– but Matthew was stressing, despite Riley telling him that he didn’t need to.

“We’re playing Tampa, Riles. Everyone expects them to win because they’re back to back cup champs. It’s a big game.” Was what he said anytime over the phone or in text that she told him he just needed to relax and play his game.

Kelsey had left the library an hour earlier than planned so she could go home and have a dinner with Oscar before he left for the arena. While Riley stayed back in the reserved study room, stressing over her paper when she got an email from her professor that was sent to their entire class talking about how they needed to make an office appointment with her to present a second rough draft of their oral presentation.

The most important presentation of her life that she absolutely needed to pass in order to pass her Capstone and achieve her degree.

She probably should have left then. Followed the advice that she’d been giving Matthew for the last few hours and gone to her apartment to relax. Instead, she stayed in the study room and tried to balance her focus between her paper and her presentation. Her focus was by no means balanced evenly between the two, considering she spent a nice fifteen minute break in between crying over the stress before diving back into her notes and trying to wrap up her paper…and then the yawns came, which was maybe another time she should’ve decided to go home and rest before the game.

But she did was she always did whenever she found herself getting tired while studying. She set a short alarm to wake her up in ten minutes, the perfect power nap, and then she’d finish whatever she could before she’d leave for her apartment to get dressed and then meet up with Kelsey and Claire.

Except…that’s not how it happened. Instead of waking up ten minutes later, she woke up almost two hours later to her phone vibrating against the table and her face. She fully woke up the moment the call ended, practically jumping out of her seat when she saw the time and all of the notifications that she had from Matt, Claire and Kelsey. And then she saw the time.

The game had started 30 minutes ago.

She quickly collected all of her stuff and left the study room, rushing through the library while simultaneously ordering her uber to the arena, hoping that she’d get there with time to spare. Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long for an uber before she was on her way to the stadium, digging through her purse for the family lanyard and ticket Matt had given her when she came home for lunch. And after begging the arena staff to let her bring her backpack in and she was willing to drop it off with security just as long as they’d let her bring it in– she was allowed to do it, but it took quite the convincing with the security managers.

By the time she reached the seats where she saw Claire, Kelsey and a few of the other WAGs sitting, she was out of breath, felt extremely disheveled and probably looked like she was crazy.

“Where the hell have you been?” Claire asked, her tone holding 

“I fell asleep in the study room, I’m sorry,” Riley replied, moving by Kelsey and sitting down between the two of them. “I just got here–”

“You missed the first two periods, but they’re getting ready to start the third so there’s still some game for you to watch.” Kelsey added, nodding towards the ice.

“How’s he doing?” Riley asked, looking at them both before looking up at the score. “And we’re winning three to one, so that’s great!”

“He’s had a few shots on goal, but other than that he got an assist on Johnny’s second goal,” Claire replied, as the arena lights started to dim. “So good, but I’m sure it’s not what he wants to be doing.”

Riley sat there and paid as best attention to the remainder of the game that she could, hoping that Matthew hadn’t noticed her lack of attendance earlier in the game and that if he did, by some slim chance then maybe he’d notice she was here now. Johnny scored another goal late in the third, getting himself a hat trick and giving the Flames an four to one lead, resulting in a Flames win the moment time ran out of the buzzer signaling the end of the game went off. She stayed with the group of women as they left their seats to make their way down to meet up with the boys. Kelsey stayed with her as she met up with one of the supervisors who had her backpack and grabbed it before finally making her way down beneath the stadium, making it just in time before any of the players made their way out of the locker room.

Jacob and Matthew both didn’t do any post-game media, so it wasn’t that long of a wait for them to come out of the locker room showered and dressed back in their suits. Despite the big win against the back-to-back Stanley Cup Champions, Matthew seemed a little more down than he usually was after a win and Riley couldn’t help but think maybe it was because he somehow knew she was late to the game, even after she promised that she would be there. She tried not to dwell too much on that thought, because she knew it was an accident but also because she didn’t want the situation to turn into something bigger just when things seemed to be going so well.

Oscar got stuck doing media, so Kelsey gave them the go ahead to leave without her since she would be waiting. The four of them walked together, making their way to the parking garage where eventually, they said their goodbyes to each other and got into their separate cars. The drive home was quiet, but Matthew, like every other time they rode in a car together, had his right hand rested on her thigh, which was the only thing keeping Riley from thinking that the car ride was quiet due to him being upset. It’d been a long day and they were both tired.

Once they reached Matthew’s apartment complex, the two of them made their way to his apartment, side by side but not hand in hand, still in silence. But over anything, at least the physical distance between them wasn’t great. Every once in a while, their shoulders would brush against each other– and it was weird that Riley was finding some sort of comfort in that since everything inside of her was telling her that clearly there was some tension that wasn’t due to the silence. Matthew stood in front of his apartment door, unlocking it and then walking in, Riley following in behind him and closing the door.

She was paying attention to what he was doing for the reason that if she was wrong, then she would take the jump and ask him if everything was okay. Because Matthew had a similar routine every time they came back to his apartment after a game. He’d hang his keys up on the wall, then walk past the kitchen and place his jacket onto the kitchen table before taking his shoes off and then walking into his room to change over. Only the moment that he tossed his keys onto the bar counter and continued to walk into his room, she knew obviously something was wrong.

Riley let some space settle between them before she followed behind him into his bedroom, staying by the door as he tossed his jacket into the hamper he often took to get dry cleaned and started undressing before walking into his closet.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, walking further into the room and standing in front of his closet where he had taken off his shoes and was taking off his suit pants.

“Everything’s fine,” he replied, draping his belt onto a hanger and stepping out of his pants, bending down to grab them.

“Are you sure?” Riley asked, crossing her arms and furrowing her eyebrows as he took off his shirt and socks, carrying the clothes and walking out of the closet before dropping them into the respective hampers– dry cleaning and normal laundry.

“Yep,” he said, walking back by her again and going back into his closet, tugging on one of the dresser drawers. “Why?”

“You just seem off…I guess,” she replied, leaning against the closet opening.

“Nope, I’m fine,” he replied, shutting the dresser drawer and changing out of his briefs, putting on a new pair before looking at the clothes in front of him. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

It was one thing for her own brain to try and nag her about being late to his game and make her feel bad, but it was a whole nother thing for it to be Matthew to do the same. Clearly he was upset about something and was being sarcastic now that she was asking for it. And instead of arguing about it, Riley just wanted to say her piece and move on.

“If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong then that’s fine, but you don’t have to be so sarcastic with your answers.” She replied, turning away from his closet and walking out of his room and over to the kitchen table, placing her backpack down onto it and starting to unpack so she could get some more work done.

She plugged her laptop charger into the wall and sat down in her chair, just as she heard Matthew come walking out of his room, zipping up his pair of jeans, stopping by the kitchen table and looking at her and laughing dryly. “Of course you’re doing more homework.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, turning in her chair. Matthew rolled his eyes, but not before he shook his head as if to brush her off. “No, don’t just shake your head and ignore me. What’s that supposed to mean Matthew, hm?”

“It means exactly what it sounds like it means, Riley,” he said, motioning towards her. “These last two weeks you’ve either had your face buried in your computer, in a textbook or in a pillow passed out because you’re too tired to do anything.”

Riley felt taken aback as she sat there on the kitchen table chair, crossing her arms. “What am I supposed to do, Matthew? Ignore my responsibilities and write halfass papers and homework that I have to do in order to get my degree?”

“No, but you can take a break every once in a while,” he replied, walking back into his room and leaving the conversation. “All you care about is writing papers or studying for tests or getting a perfect grade on your homework assignments.”

“I’m sorry for caring about my grades, but I spent a lot of money to get both of my degrees so I’m not going to do a halfass job on my assignments.” Riley stood up out of her chair and walked after him, seeing him grabbing a fresh pair of socks from the dresser his tv was standing on. “Not all of us have rich parents who could easily pay for our tuition. Some of us have to work for what we want.”

Matthew shook his head again and scoffed. “You’re not getting it, Riley.”

“What am I not getting then? Please, actually give me an answer instead of some sarcastic smart ass response and tell me what you’re problem is?”

“My problem is you knew how stressed I was about this game and how much it would mean to me for you to be there and you didn’t show up until the third period.”

“I–” Riley stared at him, blinking. “How did–”

“Claire texted Jacob when you called her and said you were on your way. Said that you fell asleep in the library.” He shook his head as he brushed by her and back out of the bedroom. “You work yourself down to the bone, Riley and I get it, you want to graduate top of your class and stuff, but tonight was important and I really wanted you there.”

“It was an accident, Matthew…” she spoke, following behind him and crossing her arms, hugging them tight against her. “I was only supposed to take a quick nap–”

“You could’ve left when Kelsey did. I know you guys were studying together because Oscar said that she had left and came home so they could have dinner together.” He cut her off, putting on a pair of sneakers, tying his shoes before standing back up and looking at her. “She made it to the game on time because she probably knew it was important to him.”

Part of her couldn’t believe that they were arguing about something so small. The other part understood that he was upset on her missing most of his game…but it was an accident. He should be understanding of that, because she could’ve just gone straight home and told him she couldn't’ make it to his game. But she still tried to go and she begged with the stadium security to let her bring her bag in so she didn’t have to go back home to drop it off and come back, only to miss even more of the game.

She still tried.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, Matthew. It was an accident,” she replied, standing there with her arms crossed. “And I still showed up. I could’ve gone straight home but I showed up because I knew you wanted me to be there and it was an accident. I didn’t purposely miss your game.”

“No, but you didn’t come and eat dinner with me either. You could have, but you didn’t,” he said, looking at her. “Do you realize how much time we’ve actually spent together in the last two weeks? Time where you weren’t on your computer or asleep at the table because you fell asleep working on homework? Maybe a day or two and that’s pushing it.”

It felt like they were going in circles, whatever it was that they were arguing about. She spoke, he spoke, she spoke again– round and round and no solution in sight. It was frustrating beyond belief, but she’d never been in this sort of situation before– fighting with someone she was dating, because she’d never had a relationship before…he was her first real one– so how the hell was it supposed to be handled? Did she let him complain and that was it? Just apologize and assume it was fine? Argue back and let her know that she didn’t do it intentionally? Every option that went through her mind, didn’t have a clear solution.

Which is why she ended up just arguing back with him, which probably wasn’t the best idea.

“I’m sorry for wanting to focus on the education I’m paying for, Matthew. I get that your hockey game was important for you, but you’ve got like twenty freaking more to make up for the one I missed. You’ve got more games and another season after this, I have this semester and then I get my degree. Of course it’s going to take my attention away, because it means a lot to me–”

“Oh, it means a lot to you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “So what am I? Chopped liver?”

This time Riley was the one to laugh in disbelief, shaking her head as she brought her hands to her temples. “I can’t even deal with you right now. Do you even hear yourself? What do you want me to do, huh? Apologize? Because I am, I’m sorry I missed two periods of your game because I overslept in my nap after stressing about my paper and my capstone oral presentation to get a degree that means everything to me and my future. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you get your assist on Johnny’s goal or God forbid, shove someone into a board. But I had a bigger priority and at least I still tried to go, I even had to beg the damn security supervisors to hold my bag so they would let me in and I wouldn’t miss your entire game.” She exhaled heavily, looking back at the blue eyed blonde. “So no, you’re not chopped liver, but right now you’re being a jerk and I don’t know if I want to be around if you’re going to keep acting like one.”

He stood there in his spot looking at her for a few seconds more before walking back into his room and coming back out a few seconds later, now with a jacket on over his t-shirt. He walked over to the bar counter and grabbed his keys, his back still to her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going out to celebrate with some of the guys,” he said, keeping his back to her. “I wouldn’t want to bother you anymore while you do your work or make you hang around while I’m being a jerk.”

“That’s not–” she huffed, following after him as he headed towards the door. “That’s not what I–” Riley could barely get the words out before he was out the door, shutting it and locking it behind him and leaving her alone in his apartment. “Meant.”

Riley stared at his apartment door, hoping that he would come right back through it because he forgot something, because maybe then that could be another chance for them to settle their misunderstanding and not be angry at each other. But she couldn’t hear lingering footsteps on the other side of the door, nor was there any sign that someone was attempting to even unlock and open the door. She walked back over to the kitchen table, picking her phone up and unlocking it, calling Claire and bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hey Ri, what’s up?” She asked, music in the background.

“What are you doing tonight?” Riley asked, leaning against the wall, keeping her arms close to her.

“I’m going out with Jacob and the guys, we’re downtown at the bar!” She replied, slightly yelling into the phone a little bit. “Are you and Matt coming out?”

“No, well I mean, yeah,” Riley sighed, rubbing her forehead as she looked at her computer sitting there waiting for her to start working again. “He is, he just left. I…I’m tired so I’m just gonna crash here at his place.”

A few seconds passed and for a moment, Riley thought that maybe Claire hadn’t heard her. “You okay?” Big mistake number two tonight. Claire knew her well enough to be able to see through her lies even on a phone call.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Riley nodded, turning off the kitchen light and walking into Matthew’s bedroom. “Be safe tonight, have fun and I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Love you.”

“Love you too,” she replied, hanging up the call and then shutting the bedroom door behind her.

Today had been long and with that fight– their first ever– with Matthew, Riley found herself way too tired to sit down at the kitchen table and try to write her paper or go over her Capstone presentation. She grabbed some of the clothes that she had here before choosing one of his shirts from his year in the OHL with the London Knights as a top and made her way into the bathroom to take a shower. It was the best time to just let the stress and exhaustion wash away with the hot water and the soap. She contemplated sending Matt an ‘I’m sorry’ text, despite the fact that she had already apologized. She also contemplated calling Claire back and telling her that she had lied to her when she said she was fine, wanting to get her big sister's advice on how to deal with the situation since Claire was an expert in all things relationship.

But she did neither. Instead, after she got out of the shower, she brushed her hair and her teeth, got dressed and climbed into Matthew’s bed, turning his tv on and finding the Lifetime app she’d downloaded, clicking on Dance Moms and watching the old episodes until she found herself falling asleep.

Riley didn’t know how much time had passed or how long she’d been asleep, but she knew for a fact that she had been asleep because the cool chill from the room sweeping underneath the raised comforter and the movement of someone settling into the bed beside her had definitely woken her up. She grabbed onto the top of the comforter, tugging it back up above her shoulders as she rolled onto her left side and groaned at the disturbance.

“Riles,” Matthew whispered, placing a hand on her waist and rubbing the area softly. “Riles, are you awake?”

“No,” she mumbled, snuggling herself down into the mattress. “I’m sleeping.”

She heard him sigh as she felt him shift closer to her, the pillow she had her head resting on dipping down and then his hand moving up onto her right arm. “Can you wake up please? I want to talk…we need to talk.”

The thump of her heart against her chest when she heard those words was enough to wake her up enough for her heavy eyelids to start blinking. She reached out for her phone on the nightstand and tapped the screen to see the time. “Matthew, it’s 1:58 in the morning…this can’t wait for a few hours?”

“Actually no, it can’t,” he replied, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “Please, Riles?”

Riley took a deep breath and exhaled, preparing herself for whatever this ‘we need to talk’ conversation was going to be and rolled over onto her otherside, coming face to face with Matthew. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t really having the best time,” he replied, keeping himself propped up onto his left elbow as he placed his hand back on her waist, keeping it there. “The guys kept ordering shots but I don’t know…I just didn’t feel like drinking.”

“You didn’t drink at all?” She asked, shocked.

Matthew sucked in his bottom lip as he shook his head. “Nope, I just kept having the bartender give me cups of water. I wasn’t in the mood to get drunk and celebrate, you know?”

Riley pouted, resting both of her hands beneath her pillow. “What? Are you going to say I ruined your celebration too?”

He chuckled softly, nodding his head. “I deserve that, I was a dick to you earlier and you didn’t deserve it. I know you still tried to make it to my game and I understand the pressure you’re under right now and it wasn’t fair of me to come for you like that about school.”

Still tired, Riley kept blinking and trying to comprehend what Matthew was saying. “Where’s this all coming from?”

Matthew looked at her, a nervous look on his face as he licked his lips and exhaled, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and looking at her. “I love you.” He must have seen the shocked look on her face even in the dim lighting from his tv screen because she could see his adam’s apple bob up and down with a nervous swallow. “I talked to Claire…well, more like she yelled at me–”

“I’m confused,” Riley said, starting to sit herself up.

“No, no, keep laying down,” he said, nudging her back down onto her side. “Claire asked me if you were really tired and I told her everything that happened and…well for one she chewed me a new one.”

“She tends to do that when she’s mad,” Riley nodded, keeping her focus on him.

“But she was right to do it, Riles, because she made me realize how what I said was unfair. I would have realized that by tomorrow or something…but she made me realize it sooner and then we got to talking about how this has been your dream since you were in middle school and you’ve been working your ass off ever since. And then she started doing that whole like therapist thing she does where she asks how you really feel–”

Riley laughed, tilting her head to the side. “She does that too. Pisses Brendan off more than anything.”

Matthew laughed softly. “Yeah, but uh…it works because she’s really good at it and she helped me realize that it wasn’t you being caught up in school or missing the first two periods of my game tonight that upset me, you know? It was me being so worked up about my performance and the game and then just…”

“Matt?” She asked, reaching out and resting her hand on his left bicep, squeezing it lightly and gaining his attention. “Breathe.”

He nodded, and took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m not mad about you almost missing my game, Riles. I’m a little upset you’re pushing yourself so hard on this school thing, but I understand that now, you know? But besides that, I’ve just…kind of been beating myself up inside about how I feel about you because…well…” He gulped again, looking at her. “I love you, Riles. I really do and it freaks me out because it’s only been a month and I didn’t want to scare you away or anything but I do. I love you and I’m tired of beating myself up about it and I told Claire that and she told me I needed to stop being an idiot and to come home and tell you, not her…so here I am. Stone cold sober and you don’t have to say it back, I’m not saying it to pressure you or anything but…well…yeah.”

Riley didn’t know how to reply. She’d only met Matthew officially for the first time in January. Sure, they’d been at events together, but that moment in the bar was the first time the two ever exchanged words. Then weeks after that night, they were on a set up blind date. Not too long after that, they were dating and now here he was, lying next to her in his bed and telling her that he loved her. Never in her life had she had someone who wasn’t a friend or family, tell her that they loved her. Sure, she’d had guys tell her that they liked her, but they never got to this point– this was uncharted territory.

Was familial love and relationship love the same? She knew she loved her parents and her siblings and her best friends, she recognized that feeling of love. But would it be any different for Matthew? She knew that she cared so much about him, just the same as she did her family and friends. But obviously, there was a difference and there were different ways that she cared for him than she did them. It was almost instinct for her to come over to his apartment instead of her own at the end of her day. She knew how he took his coffee and how he ate the same thing before every game. She knew where he liked to go on his days off if he wasn’t staying in bed. Whenever she felt anxious, just his touch alone could bring her at ease. Even just looking at him made her day so much bright. So does she love Matthew? Is that what all of these things that seemed to happen so fast in the last few months meant? Is that why she was absolutely terrified the first time that those three words slipped between his lips?

Yet when she looked at Matthew, that terrified feeling faded into the back, only leaving her thumping heartbeat in her chest in its wake and the temptation of saying those three words stuck on her lips. Her lips that were slowly turning up into a smile as she felt her cheeks heat up and her hand moved from his bicep up to his cheek, brushing her thumb against his beard.

“I love you too.”

DAY 108 – APRIL 18TH, 2022 [ SPONTANEOUS VACATION ]

“I can’t believe that you’ve been here for two years and you’ve never been to Banff,” Matthew laughed, shaking his head as they moved up in the line, each with a coffee from the starbucks in hand.

“I’ve always been busy,” Riley shrugged, taking a small sip of the hot coffee. “Besides, Claire was adjusting to her job and didn’t have a lot of vacation time between settling in on the weekends. Then she met Jacob and I was not third wheeling with those two.”

“Still,” he said, shaking his head. “Banff was one of the first things I did when I moved here. My mom and I came here and it’s one of my favorite places to go.”

“Oh?” Riley asked, raising her eyebrow. “Is this where you take all of your dates too?”

Matthew rolled his eyes as he bumped into her. “No, I don’t take all of my dates here, you dork. But, it’s so peaceful, you know? Just all of the nature…when you live in the city, especially back home in St. Louis, you just kind of forget about how beautiful it can be.”

“Touching,” she sighed, resting her hand over her heart. “That was so beautiful, I’m going to quote you on that for my instagram caption.”

He threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side, keeping her trapped. “You’re such a brat sometimes, you’re lucky I love you.”

“Mhhm,” she agreed, looking up at him as she stood on her tippy toes and kissed his lips softly. “So lucky.”

In an extremely rare occurrence, the Flames had the day off. A previously scheduled game was now going to be rescheduled due to an amount of covid cases on their opponents team, leaving them with no enough players to play. Meaning that Matthew and the Flames didn’t have to travel until tomorrow morning, when they’d fly to Nashville. Matthew came home from what was supposed to be him leaving for Chicago and woke her up, telling her they’d just had a quick practice and that he was free for the rest of the day and that she should get dressed because he wanted to take her somewhere fun.

Somewhere fun turned into grabbing breakfast from Tim Hortons and then Matthew driving the hour and a half from Calgary to Banff, the two of them listening to music and picking the other’s karaoke song, every so often doing a duet. It was a nice break from homework and stress, her one day off of classes where she was planning on sleeping the entire day away– she was actually being swept off to some of the prettiest mountains in Alberta, their first trip together as a couple.

Having been here plenty of times before, Riley let Matthew take the reins on what they would do. They grabbed another coffee at the Starbucks inside the building that was at  the base of the mountain before getting onto the Gondola. She was mesmerized by the sights of the snow covered ground and trees as they rode up the mountain. Never before had she seen such an amazing, jaw dropping sight and begrudgingly, she told Matthew that he was right. It was a beautiful view and one that she had been so easily to forget had existed because of how she spent a majority of her time in the city in a classroom and with her face in a computer.

They walked hand in hand down the boardwalk, stopping every so often to take pictures or to just take in the sights. Matthew had gotten stopped every so often by other people who were enjoying the view, talking to him about the season and the team and asking for a picture. Riley wasn’t bothered by it one bit and she offered to take the picture for them if they wanted. It was nice seeing Matthew in his element. He was such a people person and so outgoing and talkative, but she also knew very well that shy and quiet side of him when it was just the two of them in the apartment and lounging on the couch watching netflix. 

By the time they made it to Sanson’s peak, Riley could feel her face start to go numb from the cold and she was fully curled up into Matthew’s side as they looked out at the view. Snow was actively falling and yet she couldn’t take her focus off of the stretch of peaceful and beautiful nature in front of them. It was magical, like she was standing in the middle of one of those Hallmark Christmas movies her mom recorded for all of them to watch when they were together on Christmas break.

“It’s beautiful, Matthew,” she said, looking up at him as her head was resting against his chest. “Thank you for bringing us here.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing the top of her Flames beanie of his that she’d taken to wear. “Beautiful views for a beautiful girl.”

Riley laughed, shaking her head as she nudged him. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Jacob said the same thing when he saw that picture of us from the Super Bowl party taped up in my locker,” he smiled, shrugging. “And then I called him out for the same thing because I know he’s got a picture of him and Claire in there somewhere.”

“You have a picture of us in your locker?” She asked, blinking slowly. “Really?”

Matthew nodded. “I’ve got pictures of my parents and my grandparents and siblings too…all of the people that I love and who mean the world to me.”

“You’re such a cheeseball,” she laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his chest, reveling in the feeling of his arm around her as she looked out at the winter scene.

She always teased her mom and Claire for loving those Hallmark Christmas movies so much. There was something so ridiculous about the same storyline in different movies. Boy meets girl, girl ignores boy, some weird coincidence brings them together and they find that they’ve got a lot more in common than they thought and then the feelings start and everything seems so full of happiness and love. Then, the big climax of the movie, something goes wrong, but in the end it all works out. Every movie was so different, but also so similar. It was magical, romantic and now that she had Matthew…part of her understood why they loved those movies so much or why Claire seemed to always put herself all into her relationships.

Because here, right now with Matthew holding onto her as she stared out at the mountains and the trees with the snow falling around them, Riley had never felt more at peace than she did in this very moment.

DAY 150 – MAY 30TH, 2022 [ A MOST IMPORTANT DAY ]

She’d been here before– sitting in a stuffy auditorium surrounded by hundreds of students, wearing a not so comfortable robe and shifting every so often in her chair to make sure that her butt didn’t fall asleep while she listened to the speakers talk. She had her bachelor’s degree, so she knew how a graduation ceremony would go and how long it could take, but right now everything felt so different.

Her gown wasn’t so different than the one she wore when she got her bachelor’s degree, aside from the velvet that lined the master hood. Her cap was the exact same, though this time instead of it being decorated with a nod towards her next journey to the University of Calgary like her cap had been when she received her master’s, this one was decorated with light blue scrapbook paper that covered the black of the cap, sticky flowers on the two side corners and in the middle, in white painted letters (thanks to Claire), was a quote from One Tree Hill, many she had scoured over what to pick, but one that Matthew was found.

“So for now I say goodbye to this chapter of my life and I look forward to what comes next.”

A cap that was decorated with Kelsey and Claire sitting at the kitchen table in Matthew’s apartment, Jacob, Oscar and Matthew sitting in the living room and drinking beer, relaxing and sulking slightly at the way their season had ended only four days earlier. And like she had been feeling the weeks leading up to graduation, Riley sat there feeling a sort of mourning for the community she’d be leaving behind once she went back home to St. Louis once she graduated– scared of leaving behind her friends and the unknown of her future.

It was a feeling she’d tried to hide that she was experiencing it, but one that Matthew had called her out on many times and she’d expressed to him her doubts and fears and overall worries…which is why he suggested that quote, and how easily it fit in along with all of the times he’d talked her off the edge of fear.

And while that feeling had been hanging over her the moment she woke up that morning in her own apartment, having had a sleepover with Kelsey so the two could get ready together before heading off to campus to prepare for the ceremony, once she heard them announce her name, hometown and degree and crossed the stage, the cheers of her friends and family and classmates echoing in her ears….she felt hopeful. All she could think about was meeting up with her family afterwards, seeing the smiles on their faces. She looked forward to playfully teasing her parents about wanting to take so many pictures. Sure, she’d experienced this all too familiar feeling before…only this time, there was a big difference.

She’d be greeting Matthew as well.

When the ceremony came to an end and the cheers and applause of her peers, their friends and families and faculty alike bounced off of the auditorium walls, Riley was one of the first students to make a beeline for where they were instructed to pick up their actual paper diplomas from tables set off to the side. She was fourth in line at her respective last name table, assuming the other three students were sat right on the aisle of their rows and her phone was going off, presumably her family group chat texting her on where they would meet her once she made her way outside.

With diploma in hand (well, in the leather diploma folder), Riley maneuvered her way through the crowds of students and guests who were still filed into the auditorium, eager to get outside to meet up with everyone. Her eyes were squinting the moment she stepped outside into the summer day, the cap that was still on her head providing no shade for her eyes, leaving her to shield them from the hot sun using her free hand as she tried to see if she could spot anyone familiar.

“Riles!” She heard Matthew call out, yet she didn’t see him as she looked around. “Riles, over here!” His voice was a little louder now, allowing her to figure out what direction it was at least coming from. She looked to her right to see Matthew waving his left hand in the air and walking over to her with a smile on his face. Immediately she noticed that he was wearing her favorite shirt of his– the lavender dress shirt– coupled with gray slacks and the YSL belt she jokingly teased him for wearing all of the time. 

Riley walked in his direction, quickening her pace the closer she got before she reached him and jumped in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck and pressing her face into the side of his neck as he wrapped his left arm around her, supporting her. “Did they ditch you? I thought you were supposed to sit with Claire, Jacob and my parents?”

Matthew placed her back down onto the ground, keeping his left hand at the small of her back as he leaned down and kissed her before standing back up. “Well, when Oscar and I finally got a parking spot, Claire said some lady threw a huge fit about them saving two seats, so we ended up sitting on a whole different side of the auditorium with Kelsey’s family.”

“I’m surprised Claire didn’t throw her down the steps.”

“She sounded like she was a few seconds away from doing that when we were on the phone, but I told her it was fine and that I’d meet up with them,” he held out the bouquet of white daisies and deep pink, along with red roses and smiled. “These are for you. I know you don’t really like roses, but my mom lectured me about how I couldn’t not get my girlfriend roses on such a big day.”

“They’re beautiful, Matt,” Riley took a small whiff of the fresh flowers and looked back at him with a smile. “Thank you, and I’ll be sure to tell your mom thank you as well.”

“Please, because I’m 90 percent sure my dad stopped her from lecturing me about how roses aren’t just roses and all of the colors have different meanings…it was a lot,” he took a deep breath as he rested his hands on his hips and sighed, shaking his head. “But enough about that, let’s go find everyone!”

Riley held his hand as the two of them made their way over to the meeting spot that her family had agreed on beforehand– about halfway between the parking lot and the auditorium– and she couldn’t stop thinking about how this was going to be the moment where Matthew would meet her parents for the first time. A bad case of food poisoning mixed in with traveling had kept them from meeting Matthew when they flew in the day before what would be the last game of the Flames season. Then with end of season stuff, exit media and the chaos of upcoming graduation– there was just never a free time for them to meet.

Until now, and now, she was absolutely petrified of them meeting. She wasn’t all that sure why, because she’d seen her parents meet Jacob and both of Claire’s high school boyfriends, not to mention Brendan’s girlfriend. She knew her mom would be just as welcoming and heartfelt as Chantal was when Riley had met her and she knew that her dad would immediately play the tough guy, only to melt seconds later. She knew it, she’s seen it– and yet she was more nervous about Matthew meeting her parents than she had been about potentially tripping on stage when she walked across it.

She snuck a look at Matthew from the corner of her eye who was talking about how he and Oscar had spent all morning making sure the catering was confirmed to be delivered to Kelsey’s parents house since they were hosting the party and how he had no idea how his mom ever planned an entire party or why she enjoyed planning them so much because he was stressed only because of food that he wasn’t even in charge of cooking. She felt her nerves waver away as she zoned in on how he was swinging their conjoined hands at a comfortable pace and had his other hand snug in his pant pocket, walking with total confidence and grace that just seemed to be so infectious that it was somehow washing over her.

“Riley Anne Thompson you little genius!” Claire yelled, easily gaining their attention. She was standing straight ahead of them just a few feet away and waving her hands in the air. “Get your butts over here!”

Matthew chuckled and Riley looked up at him with a pout. “Stop it right now.”

“I just think it’s funny, you know? Your initials spell rat and everyone thinks I am one,” he squeezed her hand supportively. “Almost makes it seem like it was meant to be, hm?”

Once they got close enough, Matthew let go of Riley’s hand and nodded at her to hand him her diploma and flowers so she could hug her family. She wasted no time greeting each of her parents with a hug before moving onto her brother and then both Claire and Jacob. When the congratulations and the hugs were done, she turned around with a nervous smile and walked the small distance where Matthew had been standing and stood beside him with a proud smile.

“Mom, Dad, this is Matthew, my boyfriend” she smiled, looking away from Matthew and over to her parents. “Matthew, my mom and dad.”

“Otherwise known as Elizabeth and Michael,” her mom smiled, breaking the distance and greeting Matthew with a hug. “And we’ve heard a ton about you from Claire and Riley both. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am,” Matthew replied, hugging her before turning his attention to Riley’s dad as her mom pulled away from the hug, extending his hand out towards her dad. “And you too as well, sir.”

Riley swallowed the knot in her throat as she looked at her Dad, who, as predicted, was pulling his tough guy act with the squinty eyes and stone faced demeanor. She told Matthew not to be so polite and nervous, because she knew her Dad would see it coming from a mile away– and there they were…the slight awkward tension. She watched as her dad looked at Matthew’s hand and then back up at him before cracking a smile and reaching out to shake his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Matthew,” her dad said, adding another pure father moment by patting Matthew’s shoulder as well. “I’m glad to see that someone was finally able to break down those walls of Riley’s. I was starting to think that thing was going to surpass the great wall of China–”

“Michael!”

“Well, you survived the meeting,” Claire whispered, resting her chin on Riley’s shoulder and trying not to stifle a laugh. “Now all you’ve got to do is survive the party.”

“It’ll be fine,” Riley replied, shrugging as she looked back at Matthew who was now making small talk with their dad and brother. “I think they love him already.”

And things were fine, totally and beyond fine. Once they caught up with Kelsey, Oscar and her family, both groups made their way back to Kelsey’s parents home only a short distance away and from the moment they pulled up to the house and as the time ticked on, the party was in full swing. Riley got a front row seat to seeing her dad and Matthew talk about who knew what, but anytime she snuck a glimpse she felt her heart swell and she couldn’t help but smile and wonder if this feeling was what he meant by when he told her how much he loved seeing her get along with his mom and sister the first time they met and she sat with them at one of his games.

She sat back in enjoyment as she watched Matthew entertain some of Kelsey’s nieces and nephews with various yard games– limbo being the one where he dramatically fell to the ground to make all of the kids giggle because “you’re so bad at this! Look, it’s not that hard!” Or when he and Oscar gave a joint “proud boyfriend” speech after the proud parents had. How he and Jacob both accepted Bredan’s challenge of eating their wings the fastest, then proceeding to win and down her water when the heat got too much. Then getting her a refill, of course.

The drinks were flowing and as the sun started to set and everyone continued to have a good time, Riley was talking to Kelsey about their next steps. Kelsey had managed to get a job with a junior hockey team as a physical trainer in Calgary, following that she passed her certification and that she was also considering getting her PhD as well, though she wasn’t all too certain about that yet. She was excited for her friend to hear about all of the set plans that she had now that they had graduated, but Riley would be lying if she said she didn’t feel totally unprepared. Sure, she looked into jobs and applied. Some were here in Calgary, others were back home in St. Louis, but she’d yet to hear back from any of them. But she wouldn’t let that get in the way of how proud and happy she was for Kelsey. Especially since earlier before graduation when she saw her mentor, they had a conversation and her mentor said she would help look around for jobs she might be interested in.

Riley took a small sip from her beer bottle and was about to reply to Kelsey’s question about if she and Matthew had any summer plans when she saw the man of the hour himself come walking over from the back porch, smiling at her and making a ‘come here’ motion with his right hand as he held his beer in his left.

“It seems that I’ve been summoned by the needy boyfriend, so I’ll be right back,” she smiled, putting her beer down into the cup holder of her lawn chair and standing up, meeting him halfway as they stood by the bonfire. “Yes?”

Matthew held out his hand and nodded at it. “Grab my hand,” he brought his bottle up to his lips as he took another sip, watching and waiting for her to grab his hand.

“Why? What’s the trick?” She asked, hesitantly reaching her hand out.

He huffed, letting his smile fall as he looked at her. “Just grab it.” Riley placed her hand on his, eyeing him suspiciously as he just smiled and held her hand before pulling her closer and wrapping his left arm around her waist, looking down at her. “Gotcha, now you’ve gotta dance with me.”

“Matthew,” Riley whined, leaning her head back as she pouted. “You know I don’t like slow dancing.”

“Yeah, but I also know that you like slow dancing when it’s with me,” he smiled, nodding at her. “Now would it kill you to act like you love me and put your other hand on me?”

Riley smiled, shrugging. “It might.”

“You’re a brat.”

“Where do you think I learned it from?” Riley replied, rolling her eyes as she rested her right hand on his arm.

“Claire,” he replied, the two of them laughing soon after before letting it fade out as they both just swayed back and forth. “Oh look, I started a trend!”

Riley looked around them and saw that Oscar had grabbed Kelsey to dance, the same with Jacob and Claire and the parents. She shook her head, looking back at him. “Maybe everyone just got tired of standing around.”

“Orrrrr,” he smiled, stepping back and twirling her unsuspectingly. “They think we’re a cute couple and it’s super romantic and they too want to be cute and romantic.”

Riley just laughed as he brought her back into him, fanning his hand out against her back. “Okay, whatever you say.”

The two of them swayed there, Riley feeling herself start to relax against Matthew’s chest and starting to focus on the sound of his heartbeat echoing inside of his chest. “So are you going to tell me what had you so upset?” Matthew spoke quietly just so they could hear.

“Hm?” She asked, keeping her eyes closed as she zoned back in. “I wasn’t upset.”

“You looked upset while talking to Kelsey. That’s why I came off of the porch and swept you off your feet with my incredible dance moves.” He leaned himself back to look at her and tilted his head to the side slightly. “So?”

Riley opened her eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled, shrugging her shoulders. “We were talking about what we were going to do now that we were done with school and she was telling me about all the stuff she’s got set in stone and planned and I don’t know…I just felt,” she paused, shaking her head. “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No it’s not,” he replied, looking at her. “Your feelings aren’t dumb, Riles.”

“It’ll just make me sound like I’m jealous that she’s got all these plans set in stone, and maybe part of me is because I’ve applied to five jobs and haven’t heard a single whisper of news. But I’m not jealous, not really…I’m proud of her and happy for her because she’s my friend.”

“But you wish you had some sort of plan set in stone?”

“Exactly,” she mumbled, pouting slightly as she looked over to where Kelsey and Oscar were at. “But more than anything I’m happy for her, you know?”

“You’ll hear back soon, Riles. I just know it,” Matthew said, pulling her closer to him again. “And they’ll be lucky to have you.”

Riley rolled her eyes again in a playful manner as she tried to fight back her smile. “You have to say that, you’re–”

Matthew leaned in quickly, pressing his mouth against hers and cutting her words off with a kiss, pulling back just barely before kissing her two more times, smiling more into each one before he pulled back completely, a smile on his face as he rested his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. “Anyone would be lucky to have you work for them, Riles. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend. I mean it. You’re a catch, got it?”

Riley smiled, nodding her head. “Go it.”

“Good,” he replied, kissing her forehead before Riley moved her head down to his chest again and he held her close once more. “It’ll all work out, Riles. Everything you want in your life…it’ll all work out. I just know it.”

She smiled as she snuggled her head further against him, taking in the smell of his cologne and closing her eyes. She could picture it so easily– her working in her dream field, coming home from a day at work to their shared apartment, more vacations in Banff, matching playoff jackets with her sister and Kelsey…a life with Matthew at home in St. Louis and in their seasonal home in Calgary. She had been filled with so much self doubt just minutes earlier, but with Matthew’s assurance, she believed it could come true.

DAY 184 – JULY 4TH [ CURRENT DAY ]

“Ri?” Claire said, her voice sounding distant. “Riley!”

“Huh, what?” Riley asked, zoning back out of her thoughts as she looked at her sister who had finally stopped shaking her shoulder.

“I said we’re here.”

Riley looked out of her back passenger window to see the all too familiar apartment building. The knot that was in her stomach was now extending up to her throat as she stared at the building that Jacob was pulled up in front of, unable to get her brain to tell her hand to reach for her door handle to open the door and let herself out.

“You don’t have to do this right now, Ri,” Claire spoke softly, resting a hand on top of hers and giving it a light squeeze. “Jacob can always do it.”

“Yeah Riley,” Jacob spoke from the driver's seat, nodding his head as he turned slightly to look at her. “I can just drop it off for you when we go back to the apartment after dinner. I’ll drop you guys off and then come back here.”

The offer was enticing and for a moment, Riley considered taking it. But only for a moment, because it wasn’t just dropping it off that she needed to do, there was something else she needed to go if she was going to survive the rest of her summer and the months that followed.

She cleared her throat, shaking her head and exhaled. “No, that’s okay I–” she turned away from the window and looked at Claire, Jacob and Brendan. “I can do it.”

Brendan looked at Claire before looking back at Riley. “Are you—“

“Yes, Brendann…I’m sure.” She pulled on her door handle and opened the door, making sure she had her purse before she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car and stepping out into the sidewalk. “I’ll be right back and please…just stay here?”

They nodded and she shut the door behind her, turning back around and staring up at the apartment building she’d been to so many times. It was hard to believe that this would be the last time that she walked through those double doors and greet the receptionist behind the counter with a smile. If she remembered correctly, Shannon would be working today. She’d come to know all of the people who worked behind the desks' names, even from the few months she’d been around. They almost became like good friends to her, so it was weird that this would also possibly be the last time she ever saw any of them again.

Nervously, she pulled on the door handle and walked into the lobby of the apartment building, seeing that no one was standing behind the desk which she was extremely grateful for since that meant no awkward conversation was needed. She quickly walked across the lobby and towards the elevators, pressing the up arrow and sighing in relief when the doors opened immediately. She walked into the elevator, shutting the door behind her and holding the key fob against the scanner that allowed the elevator to move up to the residential floors before pressing number ten. The elevator moved slowly and she crossed her arms, hugging them to her chest as she leaned against the corner thinking about the last time she’d been in this building.

Two days ago in fact, and part of her didn’t want to come back here so soon but she knew that she was leaving Calgary tomorrow morning and while she could do what she was doing simply by mail…she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It seemed so impersonal, which things had never been.

Matthew’s family had come up to Calgary to take in some of the summer sights since the season was over. Riley loved his family and how down to earth they all were. She especially loved seeing the natural chirping and playful teasing between Matthew, his brother and their dad. His brother, Brady, had brought along his girlfriend and it was a short vacation in Calgary before everyone was headed off to Greece for their annual family vacation. A vacation that Riley would be joining, and one she was hesitant to when Matthew had originally invited her along because it was a family vacation and they’d only started dating. But he had said that he was going to ask her anyway after checking with his parents, but his parents beat him to the punch when his mom had asked publicly in the family group chat if he was going to bring her along.

Riley did insist on paying for her part in the trip, but both of his parents refused to accept her part, and she bargained to at least pay for her plane ticket— which she did. They were all out to dinner when Riley had stepped out because she’d gotten a missed call from her mentor. So she excused herself from the table and went outside of the restaurant to listen to the voicemail her mentor had left behind and when she was done listening to it— she stood there in disbelief.

The job her mentor had her apply for, one that Riley thought there was no chance in the world that she could get…well, she got it. Her mentor had called her to tell her that their contact with the hospital said that she had been chosen as one of the two other applicants to be hired to fill the pediatric occupational therapist positions they had available and thought she would pass the word on before they had sent her the official email, which she would get the next morning.

It was hard to explain how excited she was about the news. It’d been a little over a month since she’d graduated College and had yet to hear back from any of the jobs she applied to and yet there she was— getting her first piece of good news from the job she never thought she’d get hired on for. And then the nerves set in— Boston. She’d obviously have to move away from St. Louis and away from Calgary. And as she made her way back to dinner, she determined that she was too nervous to share the good news with everyone at the table. Because while announcing that she got a job was good news, announcing that she would be moving states away from her boyfriend didn’t seem like it would go over as well.

So…she saved the conversation for that night as her and Matthew were getting ready to go to bed. She had settled for the night before he did, he was still walking around his room and getting stuff ready for both his move back down to St. Louis for the summer, but also making sure he had whatever stuff he’d be packing for the trip to Greece later on. By the time he got into bed, he closed his eyes and just laid there, exhaling before opening his eyes and looking at her.

“What?” He asked, head and upper back leaning against his headboard.

“Hm?” She replied, zoning back in on him. “I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you’re staring at me.” He laughed, resting his hands on his stomach and interlocking his fingers. “I know I’m hot, but try not to get your drool all over my pillow, hm?”

Riley rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ll try not to.”

He smiled softly, lolling his head to the side and looking at her. “But really Riles, what’s up? You’ve seemed…off all night, since we got to and left dinner, actually.”

She rested her own hands on top of the comforter, twiddling with her thumbs as she thought about what she was going to say. Her immediate thought was to just tell him that she was tired, because tonight had been so, so good and fun and relaxing, she didn’t want her announcement to make it all crash down. But she knew that wouldn’t be fair to him for her to tell him any other time than now, because after all…she didn’t know when it was that she’d need to move to Boston.

“Remember the group of jobs that my mentor had me apply for? And I told you there was one that was way out of my league and I didn’t think I’d get it, but she had me apply anyway?” Riley spoke, looking at her hands.

“Yeah, did you hear back from any of them?” He sounded so nonchalant and the fact that he wouldn’t see this coming was enough for the familiar feeling of prickling tears to start to form in her eyes.

“I did, right before dinner. She called and uh, well…I got the job that I didn’t think I’d get,” she said, swallowing the knot in her throat as she looked at him. “The one in Boston…I–I got it.”

He sat himself up, a big smile on his face. “What? Riles, that's awesome!” He reached over and draped his arm over her shoulders, tugging her into him as he hugged her, pulling back and looking at her again. “I’m so proud of you, this is great! Why didn’t you say anything at dinner? That’s something to celebrate!”

Riley just stared at him, not wanting to say the words. The silence spoke what she couldn’t say and like a movie, she watched the realization dawn on him and if hearing him be so excited for her and proud of her wasn’t enough to make the burning feeling of tears in her eyes stronger, it was seeing his proud, beaming smile start to fade. Back when she had applied for jobs, most of which were either in St. Louis or Calgary, they had a conversation about what they were going to do with their relationship. Matthew had done long distance before and in his eyes, it was just something that never worked out, even if both parties tried their best to make it work.

St. Louis was one thing, but Boston was another. He lived in St. Louis three to four months out of the year. If she stayed there, things could have been easier, just like they would have been easier if she got a job in Calgary. But Boston? Sure, he had family there, but they only visited once or twice a year, many times in the summer. The summer was his time to relax at home with his friends and family, catch up on what he missed while he was in Calgary for the previous eight to nine months. It wasn’t realistic to ask of him to sacrifice any time at home, to spend his summer with her in Boston so they could have time together too.

The thought of the end had been in her mind the moment what Boston really meant had sunken in as she had walked back to their dinner table earlier.

This, her and Matthew, the last five to six months– it was done.

“Say something,” she whispered, feeling her bottom lip tremble as the tears blurred her vision. “Please?”

“Do you know when you have to be there?” He asked, clearing his throat as he tried to wipe away any sign of disappointment that she’d already seen.

Riley shook her head, sitting herself up fully and sitting criss cross applesauce, keeping her hands rested in her lap. “No, I’ll probably find out tomorrow because that’s when I’m supposed to get the official email.”

“Well, we can hold off for a few months until you have to move, right?” He nodded, clearing his throat again before taking a deep breath and exhaling, placing his left hand on top of her hands. “Unless that’s something you don’t want to do? What do you want to do, Riles?”

Oh, he must’ve seen her reaction to that suggestion. It wasn’t a bad one, but it wasn’t an eager nod…it was more of a frown, like she knew it wasn’t going to work. “I don’t know,” she spoke softly, holding onto his hand as she looked at him. “Any chance your whole view on long distance relationships changed?”

The shake of his head was subtle, but enough to send her heart plummeting in her chest. There was no holding back the tears that had been filling her eyes from falling down her face as the reality sank in. How was this the way everything was going to end? Why were these cards handled? What kind of being running the universe would put them on the other’s path and then split them to go down separate ways just when everything was going great? Neither of them wanted to end their relationship, but there was no way that would work out for them if they chose to stay in it? The hopelessness of it all felt like it was pulling her down and she was clawing at the surface for small gasps of air so she could make it through this unscathed.

“I–” he paused, clearing his throat as he kept his focus on their hands, an intense focus that Riley recognized as his attempt not to cry. He kept that same focus the first time they watched Dear John together, because she’d never seen it.

She bawled like a baby, he came close to, but was trying very, very hard not to.

“I don’t want you to not be excited about this,” he spoke slowly and clearly, trying to keep his voice clear from emotion. “Because this is big Riles, this is what you’ve been working for. And I know that right now, this…this sucks, but this is what you want to do, you know? This job…this is it.”

Riley sniffled as she reached up with her left hand and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. “I don’t want to– this,” she sniffled again, shaking her head. “I don’t want this to e-end, but Matt–”

“I know,” he said, breaking his concentration on her hands and looking at her, tears in his eyes. “But I would be doing you a huge disservice if I let this continue on, because Riles…I don’t want it to end either, but I’d rather it end where we both still love each other than rather we try to stick it out and we end up hating each other because the distance doesn’t work.”

Tears continued to roll down her face as her mouth trembled. Matthew reached up with his left hand and wiped her cheeks before keeping his hand against her cheek. “I can’t even imagine a life where I don’t think you’re the greatest person in the world.”

She leaned herself over into his arms, curling up against his chest and letting him wrap his arms around her as he held her while she cried. The sobs were quiet, as she didn’t want to wake up Taryn, who was sleeping on the couch just outside of his bedroom door, but they were heavy sobs escaping from the depths of her chest she hadn’t even known existed. Sobs that were shaking her body as they exited her mouth and vibrated against his chest where she had her face pressed into his shirt. Matthew just held her, resting his cheek on top of her head and rubbing her back, letting her cry as he tried not to let her know he was crying too. But she could hear the difference in his breathing and feel the deep vibrations in his chest from him trying his best to hold in his own, small sobs.

Once they both calmed down, she pulled herself out of his arms and wiped her eyes with her hands, sniffling and looking at him. Only the moment he made eye contact with her, the waterworks were working again. “It’s just a right person wrong time, thing Riles. We’ll figure it out,” he said, reaching out and tucking hair behind her ear. “These things always work out, you’ve read enough of those books of yours to know this.”

“I love you,” she sniffled, wiping at her eyes as the tears kept falling.

Matthew smiled softly, leaning in and holding his right hand at the back of her head as he kissed her forehead. “I love you too, Riles.” He rested his forehead against hers before kissing it again and then pulling back with teary eyes and his dimpled smile. “Does this mean Taryn and I are about to fifth and sixth wheel our parents and Brady and Emma’s Greece vacation?”

Riley laughed, sniffling again as she nodded. “Probably. I don’t think…I mean, Greece it wouldn’t–”

“Relax, Riles…I understand,” he nodded, his smile falling into a smaller one. “But hey, just because we’re not dating anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still try to be friends, right?”

God, hearing the word friends was so heart crushing, even if she’d known this possibility was in the running. “Does that even work?” She asked, wiping her nose. “In the movies it alway goes wrong–”

“Well, we wouldn’t try to be friends right away, because that definitely wouldn’t work,” he said, shaking his head. “But…maybe we can try to take a break for a bit from talking to each other? A month or two? Then we can try to talk on a friendly, non-romantic, I want to rip off your clothes and jump your bones, basis?”

This time Riley laughed a genuine laugh. The stomach cramping, butterflies laugh only Matthew could make her do. “You’re a dork,” she smiled, nudging him as she settled down and took a deep breath, exhaling. “But yeah…I guess we can try that. There’s no harm right? And it should be easy. We became friends before dating–”

“Well, technically I tried to make friends with you at the bar and you shut me down.”

“You were flirting with me from the start, don’t even try it,” she smiled, pointing at him before letting her hand rest back into her laugh with a sniffle. “But really, Matthew…I want to try it. Because this,” she motioned between them. “This friendship and relationship felt really special, and I don’t want to lose that.”

“It’s a deal then,” Matthew smiled, extending out his hand for her to shake. “A month with no contact whatsoever, and then we’ll come back and try to be friends, right?”

Riley looked at his hand, realizing that if she shook it, it would seal the deal on her relationship with Matthew ending. But she meant what she said, this was special and she didn’t want to lose it. So she grabbed his hand and shook it, nodding her head. “It’s a deal.”

“Great,” he smiled softly, still shaking her head.

“Great,” she replied, feeling him squeeze her hand before he let it go. She took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling the dried tears on her face and the congestion in her nose from sniffling. “I need a shower, I feel all…gross.”

Matthew tossed his blankets to the side, nodding his head. “I’ll set you out a towel and start it for you. You can toss your stuff in the hamper and–”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” She asked, getting out of bed and following him into the bathroom. “Just one last time, please? We don’t have to do anything, but–”

“Of course, Riles,” he nodded, smiling as he opened the shower door and reached in, turning the water on. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

The ding of the elevator brought Riley out of her thoughts and she looked up to see the red 10 signaled on the screen, meaning she’d finally reached the floor where Matthew’s apartment was. She stepped off of the elevator and dug into her purse to find her copy of his apartment key, grasping the red rubber spiral keychain that the key was on in her hand hard enough to where she could feel it leaving an imprint in her palm. She felt herself start to slow down as she reached his apartment, her feet feeling heavy and her heartbeat slowing in pace until she found herself face to face with his door.

She knew he wasn’t home, Jacob himself said that Matthew was out with his parents doing some sightseeing until later tonight. They’d be flying out the day after tomorrow, when Riley would already be back home in St. Louis. She was thankful that they weren’t all flying out the same day. It was awkward enough yesterday morning after she’d left before breakfast and Matthew was left to tell Taryn and then his parents, Brady and Emma alone about why she had gone and how their relationship was no more and she’d no longer be in attendance on their family vacation. She really didn’t need to have a run in on the same flight either.

Riley pulled the key out of her purse, unlocking the door and opening it. She paused in place, listening in for any sound of life within the apartment, just in case the plans had changed, but she was greeted with silence. In relief, Riley walked into the apartment and shut the door behind her, turning back to face the open apartment and standing in place. Matthew had given her some time yesterday afternoon to come by with Claire and grab the stuff she had here, so she knew nothing of hers was here– but it still felt like home.

There wasn’t a single space in this apartment that she could look at and now have some sort of memory or picture a moment that she and Matthew had shared. She slowly walked further into the apartment, bypassing the bar counter and the kitchen table where she had opted to leave what she came to leave, there. But instead, she made her way to his bedroom, not wanting it to be so public whenever it was that he came across it. At least here, he would have some privacy.

She walked over to his bed and placed her copy of his apartment key down onto the blue comforter, reaching back into her purse and pulling out an envelope with his name on it. Inside of it was a letter that she’d written to him. It talked a lot about how she was thankful that he’d come into her life and that she was sorry for ignoring him that night at the bar. It brushed over the memories that they made and how much fun she’d had in the few short months, even describing how those months felt like a lifetime in the best possible way. She had signed off with a ‘see you in a month, I promise I won’t ignore you this time when you try to be my friend’ and a smiley face followed by a simple signature of her name, ‘Riley.’ But at the very bottom of the letter was a separate sign off. A p.s. note that she felt, despite their attempts to be friends, she felt was needed.

“P.S. Thank you for showing me how I deserved to be loved. Just know that you will always be the first guy I’ve ever genuinely and rightfully loved. Love Always, Riles.”

She pulled one last thing out of her purse, the copy of ‘Dear John’ that she had bought after he made her watch the movie. As someone who almost always preferred to read the book first before watching any tv or movie adaptation, Matthew insisted that she forgo the whole process and just watch the movie with him. Little did he know, she was already ordering it off of Amazon and read it in one sitting once it arrived at her apartment. On the cover, she left a sticky note with a simple message of “now read the book, i promise it’s just as good :)” followed by a bunch of page numbers, but only two of which were highlighted, simply because they were two of her now favorite quotes that just seemed oh so fitting for their situation, ironic too since it was one of his favorite movies.

“In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, a place that I will carry with me forever and that no one can replace” and “Our story has three parts; a beginning, a middle and an end. And while that’s how all stories play out, I still can’t believe ours didn’t last forever.”

Cheesy? Sure, but she knew that he would find some appreciation for it. Once she made sure that he would be able to find them, she took a deep break and looked around the room one last time. This was where everything had come to an end, in this very room. Where she cried and cried until she fell asleep on her last night here in his arms. It should hurt her heart being in this room, but just like stepping foot into his apartment…it felt like home. A warm, fuzzy feeling was inside of her chest, trying its best to cover up the ache and the heaviness she’d been feeling nonstop since later Saturday night. She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath before opening them and exhaling, taking the first step to walk out of his room and not letting herself stop and slow down to take in the apartment one last time, because then she knew she would have the hardest time trying to leave.

When she opened the door, she turned the small lock on the inside doorknob so the door would lock behind her and she paused in place. It was hard trying to convince herself not to take one last look, but she caved in, wanting to say goodbye even just in her mind to a place that’d become a safe place for her. She only allowed herself a few moments before she walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind her, making sure that it was locked. Then, she booked it like hell to the elevator, never taking another look, not even when she got into the elevator, forcing herself to stand in front of the buttons as she pressed the lobby button, her lack of having the key fob keeping her from going onto any other floor, even though she wasn’t going to.

The moment the elevator doors opened on the lobby, she kept her focus straight ahead where she could still see Jacob’s car parked out front. She bypassed the still empty receptionist desk and quickened her pace, feeling her heart race in her chest as she pushed open the door and walked out into the summer heat, the sunlight hitting her face and making her squint her eyes. Her chest was rising and falling fast as if she was suffocating with the memory she was leaving behind as she left the apartment one last time. And once she stood outside, she was able to take a deep breath, feeling her chest fully expand and deflate as she exhaled.

“Hey Ri, you good?” Brendan asked, his window rolled down as he now sat in her seat.

“Yeah,” she nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling again before turning back and looking over her shoulder at the apartment building, her eyes instantly going to where the tenth floor would be. “I think I will be.”

DAY 203 – JULY 22ND, 2022 [ TRICKED RECONCILIATION ]

“I already told you earlier” Riley said, looking at Claire and Brendan as she laid her book down onto her stomach. “I don’t want to go and you can’t make me. I’m literally 24-years-old.”

Brendan snorted, leaning in her doorway. “I told you she wouldn’t go, I don’t know why you bothered trying to–”

Claire turned around to face their younger brother, pointing at him. “Go wait in the living room, we’ll be right out.”

“Fine,” Brendan held his hands up in defense as he stood up straight and turned around and walked down the hall and eventually down the stairs and out of view, leaving just Riley and Claire there in Riley’s room.

Claire double checked to make sure he was out of sight before she closed the bedroom door behind her and then made her way over to Riley’s closet. “You’re wasting your time, Claire–”

“No, you’re wasting your time,” Claire replied, opening her closet doors and skimming through the clothes. “I know you’re still upset about the way things ended with Matthew but you leave for Boston in a month and a half and you haven’t done anything besides lay in bed and read your books since you got home from Calgary.”

“I’m not upset about Matthew,” Riley said, resting her book down and staring at Claire. “I mean sure, it’s not all sunshine and daisies, but I’ve accepted that life isn’t fair and the situation overall sucks but there’s nothing that I can do about it. I did my crying, I’ve accepted it and now I’m just going to wait until it’s time to leave for Boston and enjoy my favorite things while I do.” She picked her book back up and turned the page. “Now get your nose out of my closet and go to that party.”

“Ri, I love you a lot. You’re my sister and my best friend, we’ve spent our entire lives together. We grew up together and we know each other better than anyone else in this world. So I don’t know why you think you can pull this ‘I’m fine’ bullshit over on me. Because if anyone knows you’re not fine, it’s me.” She grabbed an off the shoulder shirt and tossed it at Riley’s feet, a pair of jeans following after and then she closed the closet and walked over to her dresser, grabbing a strapless bra and adding that onto the pile. “So get up, get dressed and meet Brendan and I out in the living room in ten minutes or so help me God, I will drag you out of bed and to the party looking exactly like this, by your hair.”

Riley sat there as she watched Claire open the bedroom door and walk through it, shutting it behind her once more. On one hand, she knew Claire was right. Her time here at home was dwindling down fast and before she knew it, she’d be in her new apartment in Boston, alone. But on the other hand, she just wanted to spend her time, especially at night, doing the things she enjoyed. Things that filled her time and preoccupied her mind from drifting off onto wondering what Matthew was doing or how their vacation to Greece went. If he was back home now or if he went off on another trip with friends.

She bookmarked her page and set the book off to the side before tossing her blankets off and getting out of bed. Grabbing the clothes Claire had set out, Riley changed over to the jeans and shirt, getting dressed into real clothes that weren’t sweatpants and a t-shirt for the first time all day. She took the time to get herself ready and looking like she hadn’t just spent so many hours locked away in her room, lying in bed and reading a book before she left her room, seeing Claire and Brendan sitting there, both looking surprised.

“Well damn, you actually did it,” he said, looking at Claire and uncrossing his arms. “Well, let’s get going, yeah?”

He walked towards the front door, Riley standing there as Claire came up beside her and draping her arm over her shoulders with a smile. “You’ll have fun tonight, Ri, I promise.”

Maybe Riley’s idea of fun and Claire’s idea of fun were close, but not the same. Sure, it was nice to see some of her friends from high school and some of Claire and Brednan’s friends too at the house of one of Riley’s friends. Their city was large, but small. Everyone here had a sixth degree relationship with someone else.

And that's something Riley should’ve remembered when she saw Matthew standing inside talking to one of her and Claire’s friends from high school. At first, she had to convince herself that it wasn’t actually him, she was just imagining it. But when he leaned his head back and laughed, she felt something squeeze around her heart, because she’d know that dimpled smile anywhere. She stopped herself from going inside to grab herself a soda, instead walking around the backyard to try and find Claire or Brendan to tell them that Matthew was here and she wanted to go home.

Yet somehow, they were nowhere to be found and she was left to figure it out herself. She texted their sibling group chat, sending an ‘SOS, need to talk’ message before sitting herself down on the edge of the pool and rolling her pant legs up as high as she could before dipping her feet into the cool water. It was only a little over a week away before their one month of not seeing each other or talking was to come to an end. Then they could try to be friends again, but the feeling inside of her chest and her racing heart was telling her that a month wasn’t enough.

That maybe they would need more time, or God forbid, not be able to be friends at all.

“Hey…” She felt her pulse in her throat as she looked up to see Matthew standing there to her left, his hands buried deep into his shorts pockets.

“Hey,” she replied, smiling softly as she motioned for him to take a seat. “You can sit…if you want.”

She watched as he hesitated for a moment before nodding and taking his hands out of his pockets and sitting himself down next to her, taking his flip flops off and placing them down next to her before putting his feet into the pool. They sat there in silence for a few moments, the party in the background filling the silence between them.

“How was the trip to Greece?” She asked, breaking the silence and swallowing the knot in her throat. “I saw the pictures…but how was it?”

“Good, it was good, a lot of fun,” he nodded, holding his bud light in his hand. “It would’ve been a lot more fun with you there, but you know…it was still a good time. How have you been?”

“Good,” she nodded, looking at him and shrugging. “Just a lot of shifting through stuff. My mom’s trying to get rid of half of my things, I think she’s planning on turning my bedroom into a craft room or something.”

“Mom’s tried that with Brady’s room a couple of times,” he laughed softly. “Said we’ve shared a room before, we can share one again.”

“You might not have to worry about that longer though, I saw he and Emma got engaged. I wanted to text him and congratulate him, but…you know.”

“Yeah, it’s about time too. I swear they’re practically married though,” he laughed, taking a sip of his beer. “I’ll tell them you said congratulations though.”

“Thanks,” she nodded, playing with her hands in her lap and kicking her feet in the water.

Matthew finished his drink and cleared his throat, looking at the can and then at her. “Would you want to come with me to get a refill? So we can keep catching up and I won't lose you in the crowd?”

Something inside of her told her maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but it was greatly overshadowed by the feeling of missing him for the last twenty days. “Yeah, okay,” she smiled and nodded her head.

Matthew stood himself up and reached his hand out to help her stand up too. He held her hand for a few seconds longer even after she was standing up, but then he let go and the two of them made their way into the house. Over the music they talked about what they’d been up to since they last saw each other. Matthew had gone into more detail about the Greece vacation, the sights they saw, the food and drink, renting a boat for a day and how clear the water had been. He told her that she would’ve loved it and she agreed, she would have. She told him that she wished she would’ve gone.

One of their mutual friends, which turned out to be one of her friends from high school’s brother, who was a friend of Matt’s, tried to get them to join in on some drinking game which had everyone already playing, giggling and laughing as they watched two people trying to down their drinks faster than the other. But Matthew just grabbed her hand and led her away from the group so they’d stop trying to lure them in. When they finally stopped walking, they found themselves in one of the few quiet rooms in the house– a room that looked like it was a guest room.

Riley would be lying if she said that her heart wasn’t racing and her body temperature wasn’t rising at the mere fact that she was alone in a bedroom with Matthew for the first time in months. But like he always did, he was able to bring her at ease but just…talking. They talked about her move to Boston, how she found an apartment and was set to move in in late August, early September. How she had started to talk to the two other co-workers she was hired on the same job announcement with and that they seemed like really nice people. He told her again, just how happy he was and proud he was of her for getting the job and that he knew she’d do great things.

It felt like no time between them had passed at all and they were both sitting on the bed, laughing and talking like they hadn’t broken up and were doing a horrible job at trying to be friends– when the tension that they had was still so heavy and clear, that it was hard not to notice. So maybe that’s why after the laughter had simmered down, she leaned in and kissed him before quickly pulling back, ready to apologize.

And maybe that’s why, instead of letting her apologize and agreeing that it wasn’t the best idea, Matthew cupped her face and leaned back in, kissing her back.

They both knew that what they were doing wasn’t the best idea. This would set them back again on their journey to being friends. With each layer of clothing that was removed, it was another chip away at the shield she had put up to protect her heart and herself after their break up. She would once again have that aching, open wound she’d need to nurse back to health once it was all said and done.

For right now though, she didn’t care. Because all she’s wanted since that night in his apartment, was to have one more night or day or hour or minute to be in his arms. To kiss him again. And now that she was here, in this moment and getting what her heart had been wishing for the last three weeks…she never wanted it to end.

But it had to, and when they laid there together after it was all over– just like before, it felt like nothing had changed. He had his arm draped over her and she was curled into his side and laying her head on his chest. ‘This is how it’s supposed to be, right here…just us.’ She thought and kept repeating that thought in her head, even as there was that aching feeling in her chest that knew it wasn’t going to last.

Riley wasn’t sure of how long they laid there for, not long enough for the party to be over because they could still here the muffled sounds of music and the guests from the other side of the locked door. But long enough to where she knew that if they didn’t leave the room now, their lack of presence would be noted by those who knew of their relationship. So she was the first one who made the move to get up out of bed and start to get dressed, Matthew following soon after her as they didn’t speak. And suddenly she found herself regretting her choice to get dressed, because laying there in silence was so much better than getting dressed in silence.

“Oh…” he said, picking up her shirt which had soaked up the remainder of his beer that had been spilled at some point while they were undressing. “You can’t wear this, it reeks of beer. Here,” he took off his shirt, an old London Knights one she’d worn time and time before as a pajama shirt. “You can wear mine.”

“Thanks,” she said, putting on his shirt and then taking her beer soaked shirt from him balling it up and shoving it in her purse.

“Riles…” God she missed hearing him call her that, it was her favorite thing in the world she’d come to find. But right now, she wished he was calling her anything else. “I…maybe we just got a little too ahead of ourselves with this…trying to be friends, you know?”

She could feel the tears burn in her eyes as she choked them back, trying not to let the knot in her throat stop her from taking deep controlled breaths. “Mhhm.”

“It’s just…it’s too soon and then this,” he shook his head, exhaling. “I don’t regret this at all, Riles. Because I love you, I do. But I don’t, I’m not sure if I can be your friend and love you at the same time.”

Riley just nodded again, making the first move towards the door as he followed behind. “I get it, I do.”

“So maybe,” he took another deep breath and exhaled, putting his hands in his pockets again. “Maybe, it’s going to take a lot longer…and maybe we shouldn’t–”

“Matthew, please,” she said, shaking her head. “You don’t need to say it, I understand what you’re saying, I promise. Thank you for everything, and I don’t regret this either and I love you.” She felt the knot in her throat choke her for a second before she cleared it and nodded, turning away from him. “I think I’m just going to go home.”

He nodded, and reached around her, unlocking the door and opening it before stepping aside and letting her leave the room. She heard the door close behind her soon after, probably to let himself wait a bit before he left the room as to avoid any speculation, though that was going to be hard considering he was left shirtless and she was wearing his shirt. She made her way outside after not seeing Claire or Brendan anywhere in the living room and kitchen, eventually catching sight of Brendan standing off by the jacuzzi. She walked over as fast as her feet would take her, clutching her purse and her shirt against her and fighting like hell to keep the tears from falling.

“Hey Ri,” Brendan smiled, his smile falling once she got closer. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to go home,” she spoke softly, Brendan ushering her off to the side and away from friends so they could speak privately. “Matthew’s here a-and I just want to go home.”

“Of course he’s here,” he said, looking confused. “Didn’t Claire tell you he was going to be here?”

She looked at him, confused and taken aback when she felt a pair of arms around her shoulders and someone resting their chin on her shoulder. “Hi little sister, are you having fun?” Claire smiled, letting her arms fall to the side when Riley stepped out of them. “What’s wrong?”

“You knew he was going to be here?” Riley asked, her bottom lip trembling.

Claire’s smile falling into a frown told Riley everything that she needed to know. “Wow,” she huffed, shaking her head. “Out of everyone, I thought that you would understand how it would make me feel to see him again. I told– I cried to you about everything and you…” she stopped, sniffling and shaking her head again. “I’m going home.”

“I’ll drop you off and come back,” Brendan said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder before looking at Claire and walking with Riley as they left the poolside area of the backyard and through a backyard fence.

When they made it to the front of the house, Brendan dug into his pockets to grab the keys and as they made their way to the car, Riley spotted Matthew getting into the backseat of what she presumed to be an uber. And soon she realized, as she watched the uber slowly drive away…that this was how life was going to be from now on. No more Matthew. And just like the uber had drifted off into the distance and out of view, he too would eventually fade from her thoughts.

And the peace he brought would go along with him.

DAY 244 – SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2022 [ A PEACEFUL REALIZATION ] *EPILOGUE*

“Well Riley, I have to say that your apartment looks quite nice,” her dad smiled, taking a look around the living room and the furniture they’d set up to make the 800 square foot apartment feel a little more homey.

“Thanks, Dad,” she laughed, sitting on one of the bar stools at her counter. “But I meant it when I said you guys can’t stay here tonight. You’ve stayed here the last two nights helping me set up, but now it’s time for me to spend my first night alone in my apartment.”

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” Brendan teased, resting his hands on her shoulders. 

In the 41 days since that night when she’d last seen Matthew…a lot had changed. For the first two weeks, she and Claire were at odds. It didn’t help that Claire had also gone off to Sweden to visit Jacob’s family for a week, but when she came back, she had apologized to Riley for what she had done. Telling her that her reasoning was that she knew how much she’d missed Matthew and she knew that Matthew had missed her too– and that maybe, if they’d gotten back together that they would be able to see a new solution through.

All she wanted was for her sister to feel better again, she wanted the best for her little sister and though she went about it the wrong way, she was still sorry for doing it and hiding Matthew’s attendance at the party from her. She spent the rest of August spending at much time with her family in between packing and sending emails to work to set up and confirm her first day and what she’d need to bring.

She was nervous to be moving from home, but at the same time she was excited. This was something she had worked for her entire life and she was finally on the journey to reaching it. It was something new and unknown, but that adventure made it nerve wracking…and thanks to Matthew, she’d learned that sometimes, those nerves when you’re about to do something for the first time…were just excitement hiding in the wings.

Her family and Jacob had tagged along to help her drive to Boston at the end of August and have spent the last three days with her, helping her unpack and set up her apartment. Tomorrow afternoon, they’d be flying back home and she’d be in the city of Boston all alone. But tonight, tonight was going to be her first night in her apartment alone– and she was both looking forward to it and hating it at the same time.

“Okay, so we’ll go get in the car so we can go to dinner,” Claire said, as their parents and Brendnan made their way to the front door. “Do you mind waiting for Jacob when he comes out of the bathroom?”

“Not at all, we’ll be right down there,” Riley smiled, waving them off as she spun herself on her barstool.

Shortly after, Jacob came walking out of the bathroom, looking around confused. “Did they leave us?”

“They’re just in the car,” Riley said, hopping off the stool. “But since I’ve got you here, I thought I’d ask…how the convo with our parents go?”

He smiled, nodding his head as they left her apartment. “Really good, they loved the ring. Said that Claire would love it too.”

“I told you she would,” Riley smiled, bumping into him as she looked her apartment behind them. “You sure you’re ready to be a part of the family? I mean…have you met us?”

“I have and you guys are great,” he laughed, bumping her back.

A little bit after their trip to Sweden, Jacob had facetimed Riley asking if he could get her opinion on something. And when she answered, he showed that he was at a jewelry store in Sweden, where he was staying with family a little longer and said that he was wanting to pick out an engagement ring for Claire, but wanted a little insight onto which she might like. She helped him pick it out and when he came into St. Louis the night before they drove up to Boston, he sat their parents down and asked for their permission to marry Claire.

Things had been so hectic that Riley hadn’t been able to get Jacob alone long enough to ask him how it had all gone, but now that they had a little bit of time, she took full advantage of it.

“Is the plan still the same?”

“Mhhm,” Jacob nodded, a fond smile on his face. “I’m going to take her to Lake Louise when we get back to Calgary, just where we went on our first date and then I’m going to ask her. Hopefully she says yes.”

“She’ll definitely say yes,” Riley smiled, nodding her head. “She really loves you.”

“Thanks, Riley, that means a lot,” he replied, the elevator doors opening into the lobby and them walking out. “And I know you guys had a bit of a falling out, but she loves you a lot and never meant to hurt your feelings. You know her, she just…wants everyone to be happy and puts it on herself to make sure they are.”

Riley nodded, sucking in her lips at the mention of their falling out. She felt nervous, but she knew that the nagging feeling wouldn’t go away until she asked, because she knew that the two of them were still in touch. “So…do you know how he’s doing? I haven’t really kept up with the hockey stuff because…you know.”

“He’s good,” Jacob replied, hesitating himself as he took a deep breath and Riley knew he was unsure if he wanted to answer. “He’s excited about going to Florida–”

“FLORIDA?” She asked, eyes wide. “What? Since when?”

“Um…maybe end of July? Right around the time you and Claire had your falling out. He got traded to the Panthers.”

Riley remembered him mentioning about how he and his agent were in talks with the Flames about his contract, but he seemed so hesitant to talk about it and not in the mood too, like something was bothering him and she knew she didn’t want to push further about it so she didn’t. She had no idea that days later he’d be traded.

“Wow, that’s…big,” she said, crossing her arms. “Is he Captain?”

“No, but I don’t doubt he’ll work his way up to it…you know Chucky. He’s really excited to be down there since he’s got an old teammate who plays for them. I think it’ll be a good change for him.”

Riley nodded, not continuing the conversation as they walked out of the apartment building and found her parents rental car, getting inside.

She tried not to let the news be forefront in her brain for the rest of dinner. This was her last night with her family and she wanted to soak up every second of it, especially since she knew that in just short of a week, Claire and Jacob would be back in Calgary and engaged. She knew she was going to miss having them just right there in the same room and knew she’d have to adjust to them being a phone call away instead. She was successful in turning her focus towards them, and by the end of dinner when they dropped her off at her apartment building, her stomach was hurting from laughing so hard.

It was the first time she’d laughed that hard since her break up with Matthew.

There was no fighting from keeping him out of her mind as she made her way into the elevator and the heavy metal slowly climbed the stories to her apartment floor– floor number ten, go figure. But she held it off until she was in the safety of her own apartment, letting the emotions flow out of her as she leaned against the door and sighed.

The silence was loud as she moved through her new apartment, trying to adjust to the layout. She walked over to her keurig, filling it up and placing a mug onto it to make herself something hot to drink. While she waited, she walked back to her room and got undressed, switching over into some pajama pants and an all too-familiar shirt that she’d tried to give back before she left, but allowed herself to keep it since it had been in her possession for weeks, and she knew for a fact that if she even tried to return it, she’d be told to keep it.

It had slowly turned into her favorite shirt the way that the cotton had been washed and dried so many times that the green and white in the Knights logo had started to crack and the material was soft against her skin.

She put on her slippers and walked back out of her room, over to the kitchen where she could see the steam rising from her Banff souvenir mug. Picking it up, she walked back out of the kitchen and over to her balcony door, sliding it open before walking out into the cool night air and shutting the door just barely behind her. She sat down in her chair, taking in the sight of the city lights all around her and the sounds of the traffic and people walking below brought her ease.

Riley brought out her phone, unlocking it and opening her instagram app. Typing in his username, she brought up Matthew’s profile and allowed herself to scroll through his pictures. The last time she’d seen it, it was before their meet up at the party when he’d posted pictures of the Greece trip. Matthew wasn’t one for posting on social media too much, so in that time, he’d only posted four things. One was a tribute video to his time in Calgary, another was a picture of him sitting at a press conference with the Florida Panthers logo behind him, wearing a polo and his dimpled smile. Another was a photo montage of what looked like a boys golfing trip, which Riley laughed at because of course. And his most recent, just a few weeks prior, was an action shot of him in the white and red panthers uniform. It was a far stretch from his red with Calgary…but it fit him well.

Out of habit, she found herself looking up at the sky, seeing the stars that the city lights hadn’t managed to outshine and when she blinked…for a split second…she thought she saw a shooting star.

As the thought passed, she smiled to herself and took a sip of her hot chocolate, looking at the mug once she was finished and leaned further back into her chair. Shortly after their run in at the party, she unfollowed him on instagram as a way to try and cleanse him from her life. A way to make the transition easier for her. But what Riley had discovered was that this was how life was going to be from now on. Sure, there was no more Matthew in her day to day life, no more random texts or facetime calls or phone calls, not even an instagram comment or a snapchat. But there was no cleansing him out of her life.

He left a big mark on her and in her life. He was the first boy she had ever loved and who loved her back, who taught her what it felt like to be loved. He was special, important. She could never push him out of her life. So while he was here for just a short while and gone in a flash, just like a shooting star…he was always going to be there in her memories.

And one day, she’d have to come to terms with that, but for now…it was just nice to think back and smile on the memories anytime a little piece of him popped up in her daily life.

He was everywhere and that was okay, because he had loved her and she loved him too and one could never easily forget it.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

AHWM - A Voicemail to the Captain

You knew you would be busy. You knew you would be floored with responsibilities that seemed far greater than anything you could have expected. Yet, when caught in the middle of it all, you found yourself constantly surprised at the limits you needed to push yourself to. Being the most important person on the ship had a lot of responsibilities, and that was not including the mess with the crystal!

But, at last, you found a quiet moment where you could flee to your cabin to take a nap. Unfortunately, being too hasty meant you bumped against your desk while struggling to take off one boot, and something clattered to the floor. You spun around and realised it was your phone. Thankfully, it was unharmed despite the fall.

By right, you should have kept your phone off. There was no reason to waste the battery while in space. Instead, it became a virtual memory book. You would take time to look through photos of family and friends and remember what mattered most in your life. It would be a nice opportunity to do just that once your second boot was off. 

Instead of your usual lock screen greeting you, there was a notification:

“1 New Voicemail”.

It was dated from three hours ago. But how? There was no coverage. In fact, your phone still displayed the error that there was no coverage at the top of the screen. Yet, somehow, someone had gotten through.

You sat on your bed and called voicemail.

-

"Oh shit. I, uh, I didn't think I'd get through.”

You gasped. It was Yancy.

“I was so sure youse’s phone wouldn’t be reachable but I wanted to try anyway. Ain’t like I got anyone else to phone, right? Uh…Y’know what, fuck it. I’m leaving a long-ass voicemail for youse to get to when youse get the chance. It’s October 30th… Uh, 2022. We met this day a few years ago, and I’s been thinking. It’s weird not having youse around. Not in a bad way! I mean, I don’t want you giving up on this dream of youse’s just ‘cause I miss seeing a friendly face. It’s more like… Well, being in prison, you gets to be used to seeing certain people, y’know? Like, there’s the Gang, and then there’s the staff that rotate depending on they’s shifts. But I ain’t used to having people on the outside, so not being able to see someone is just… Kinda weird for me.

But I’s been good since youse last came to visit as part of space camp. The song’s coming along great. Youse is gonna love it, I think. Bam-Bam confidently called it a ‘bop’ when he heard it so I’m taking that as a good sign. A shame youse couldn’t stick ‘round a bit longer but I gets it. There’s a lot to do with all that space stuff, and I ain’t gonna pretend I understand it. Youse looked like you was under pressure anyway, like you had somewhere else youse needed to be. Heh, guess that comes with the territory of doing important space stuff, eh?”

You winced, You had hoped he would have forgotten that. You felt bad being pulled away before you could really do anything.

“I’ve been listening to the news a lot more on my little radio. Normally, I hate doing that sorta thing. I don’t care what folks get up to out there. But I wanna know when there’s news ‘bout the space trip. I know, I know, it’s slow. Can’t help it though. Wanna make sure youse is safe out there! Not like I can go kick an alien’s ass on youse’s behalf. And yeah, I know you can kick ass just fine youseself, but youse is also a very important somebody out there. Can’t risk you landing in extra trouble - youse probably has gotten in trouble by the time you hear this, heh.

It’s a shame there ain’t no way to write letters, or even emails. I’d try and figure out how they work if it can reach youse. I mean, I’m leaving a voicemail. That shit’s ‘sposed to be impossible, but - hey!”

You snickered as you heard shuffling and voices in the background. It was distant, but you were nearly sure you catch Yancy snapping “Fuck off! Call them yourself, you cheapass bum!” in the background. Going by the faint voices, you were of the belief it was Tiny and Sparkles McGee poking fun at him.

“Sorry. Certain assholes-” Yancy’s voice grew faint for that word, giving you the impression he had turned his head to insult them, “- had decided it’d be funny to try and hijack my call. Nuh uh. I don’t got another chance to do this call any time soon and I ain’t gonna waste it ‘cause someone wants to share their fart jokes. What was I saying before that… Oh yeah. Once you gets to the new planet, if it’s possible, think you could write a letter or something? Just so I knows you got there safe. I-I mean, not that I’m super worried or nothing, but, ah…” He fumbled over his words, and you are almost sure he really was worried. “It’s for parole, see. One of the parts of the application is to say what you intends to do, and I’ve been thinking ‘bout it and… I thought I’d go on the next shuttle, if there is one. I got nothing worth going out there for, but that don’t mean I can’t look to a whole new place, right?”

A familiar automated voice interrupted to announce there were only two minutes left in the call, and it seemed to snap Yancy to reality.

“Look, uh… Fuck. You best be keeping safe out there, ‘aight? Don’t be getting into fights where youse is unarmed and outnumbered. And, er… Keep being you. I’m proud of youse, and I hope they get to see that youse is such an amazing individual who can really bring about change just by being you. And, for what it’s worth? I… I miss-”

The line abruptly cut, signalling the end of the allocated time. Immediately, you choose to save the voicemail. It would be comforting having a little piece of home so far away. Then, after a moment of hesitation, you decided to play it again, if only to have that moment of normality in the midst of the chaos.

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Ohana

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer’s in love with his new neighbor- and her son that’s just like him

Word Count: 3234

Warnings: Typical CM stuff (Amplification specifically), Single Parent!Reader, slight angst

“Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.” -Lilo and Stitch

~

Spencer remembered the day you moved in. He remembered you lugging boxes up five flights of stairs by yourself. When he saw you struggling with a heavy box, trying to find your key, he decided to be bold and help. 

“You look like you could use some assistance,” he said. “I’m, uh, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, I live right across the hall.”

“Dr. (Y/N) (L/N),” you said.

“Here, let me hold the box for you.”

“Careful, it’s heavy,” you said, shifting it into his arms. 

Spencer was jostled for a moment from the weight of the box, which was labeled (Y/N)’s Books. “So, MD or PhD?” he asked you as you searched for the right key. 

“PhD, I’m too squeamish to be in the medical field,” you said with a laugh. It was the most beautiful sound Spencer had ever heard. “What about you?”

“What? Oh,” Spencer shook his head, focusing back on the conversation. “PhDs.”

You stopped sorting through your keys and turned to face Spencer. “Plural? Holy shit, are you a genius or something?”

Spencer let out a small laugh before saying, “Yeah, technically. But I don’t think intelligence can be accurately quantified.”

You finally found the right key and sighed as you heard the lock click. “Um, you can set the box with the others by the bookshelf.”

Spencer turned to see a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, much like his own, with boxes upon boxes of books in front of it. Some were labeled Academics, some had the same label as the one he was currently holding, and some had Oliver’s Books scrawled across the top.

“So, uh, where are you moving from?” he asked you, following the maze of boxes to your kitchen.

You offered him a bottle of water. “Erie, Pennsylvania. I got a job at Georgetown as an Associate Professor in the history department.”

“Oh, I guest lecture there every once in a while. In the criminology department. Uh, what’s your concentration?” Spencer took a sip from the water bottle. 

“Medieval and Renaissance history,” you said. “I get to teach fun classes like Medieval Weaponry and Warfare.”

“Well, maybe I can sit in on that class someday.”

You smiled at him and that was when Spencer knew, you’d worked your way into his heart and you were never leaving.

~

Spencer remembered the first time he met Oliver. It was 53 hours, 27 minutes, and 15 seconds since the day he met you. He was coming home from an exhausting case when he saw you trying to balance paper shopping bags in your arms while opening your door. A small boy, no older than 6, stood behind you with oversized headphones and a mobile gaming system. He had a huge backpack on his shoulders.

“Ollie, take the keys. Ollie. Oliver.”

“You need some help?” Spencer asked, setting his go-bag in front of his door.

“Spencer, hi! Um, some help would be great.” Spencer took the bags from your arms so you could open the door. “Oh, uh, this is Oliver, my son.”

“Your-your son?” Spencer asked. If you had a son, it was likely you had a partner. 

“Yep, he’s my boy.” You tapped his shoulder and gestured for him to say hi. The boy gave a small wave before going back to his game.

Spencer cleared his throat. “So, uh, where’s-where’s his father?”

“California. At least, that’s where he went when he left us.” Your hand was resting on top of your son’s head. He looked just like you. “Here, can you just set the bags on the counter?” you asked after opening the door. Oliver started down the hallway when you grabbed the loop of his backpack. “Not so fast. You know the rules. Homework first, then you can play your game again.”

Oliver groaned and handed you his game. You set it on the counter next to the bags of groceries. 

“So, you’re raising him alone?” Spencer asked you. 

You nodded and started unpacking the bags. “Yeah. You know, it’s been hard, but I can’t imagine life without my Ollie. He’s my heart and soul.”

~

Spencer and you became friends quite quickly. He told you about his job as a profiler, and you told him about working at the university. He would come over after cases and watch movies with you and Oliver. He’d help you put groceries away and he’d help you with simple tasks. 

He also picked up on Oliver’s eccentricities. He reminded Spencer of his younger self. He didn’t talk much about kids at school and he breezed through schoolwork. His interests seemed heightened beyond what could be considered normal for a kid his age. One day, Spencer decided to ask about it as inconspicuously as he could. 

The two of you were playing a game of chess when he brought it up.

“So, Oliver seems to be doing pretty well in school. What grade did you say he was in, second?”

“Yeah, the school bumped him up a grade. They wanted me to move him up to fourth, but I know how important it is to have friends your own age. And he already struggles to make friends.”

“He does? Why?”

You sighed, moving your knight. “Check. He was diagnosed as autistic when he was three. He doesn’t quite get social cues so it’s hard for him.”

Spencer moved his bishop and took your knight. “I’m sure his dad leaving didn’t help.”

“Well, he, uh, he never actually met his dad. Leo left me when I was four months pregnant.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

You waved him off. “It’s fine. It was almost seven years ago. I moved on, and I learned to balance motherhood with college. I completed my undergrad when he was only a few months old and I worked on graduate school when he was a high-energy toddler. It just proved to me that I can do anything. Checkmate.”

~

Spencer was enjoying a rare day off on a Tuesday when his phone started ringing. He groaned, thinking it was Hotch with an urgent case. But when he saw your name on the caller ID, his face lit up. 

“(Y/N), hey!” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Ollie’s school just called me. He’s sick but I have classes and meetings all day so I can’t go get him and-”

“Are you asking if I can go get him?” Spencer said, cutting off your rambling.

“Yes! Could you, please? I’d be so so grateful.”

Spencer smiled, grabbing the spare key you gave him. “Of course.”

“Oh, thank you so much. There’s a spare car seat in the coat closet. I’ll call the school and let them know you’ll be picking him up. Thank you so much, Spencer.”

When Spencer got to the school, he was fidgety. He’d never spent time alone with your son before. And he wasn’t even sure if the kid liked him. 

He walked into the front office and said, “Hi, my name is Spencer Reid, I’m here to pick up Oliver (L/N)?”

“Oh, (Y/N) said you were coming to get him. If I could just see your ID?” the receptionist asked. Spencer nodded and pulled out his driver’s license. “Great, if you could just sign Oliver out on the clipboard here, you’ll be good to go.”

Spencer scribbled his signature on the clipboard and the receptionist got up to get Oliver from the back office. Oliver followed the receptionist, his backpack on his shoulders and a paper bag clutched in his hands. His face was pale and he was swaying slightly. 

“Hey, Ollie,” Spencer said.

“Hi, Spencer. Where’s my mom?”

“She got stuck at work, buddy. You’re gonna stay with me until she comes home, okay?”

Oliver nodded. “Okay.” He followed Spencer out of the school and climbed in the back of his car.

“Do you want me to put the window down?” Spencer offered, looking back at the boy in the mirror. When Oliver nodded, Spencer put his window down and pulled out of the parking lot.

After pulling into the parking garage, Spencer looked in the mirror again. Oliver was fast asleep, his head slumped against the door. Rather than waking the boy, Spencer unbuckled him and scooped him up in his arms. 

Oliver wrapped his little, sweaty arms around Spencer’s neck as he was carried inside. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was how much he cared for the boy, but Spencer pressed a small kiss to the side of his head. Spencer dug your spare key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, setting Ollie down on the couch.

After covering him with a blanket, Spencer dug around in your kitchen for some ginger ale and crackers. After setting them on the coffee table, he heard a small voice say, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Spencer noticed Oliver watching him from the couch. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, handing Oliver the soda with a red bendy straw. “What do you mean, bud?”

“I know you like-like my mom. But you’re nice to me even when she’s not here. Matt didn’t do that. He called me names when Mom wasn’t around. He said I was weird.”

Spencer knew Matt was your ex from your time working at the Erie campus of Penn State. He was the first person you’d been with since Oliver’s father. And hearing how he treated Oliver didn’t sit right with Spencer.

Spencer sighed and looked at Oliver. “I’m nice to you because I like you, too. And I was a lot like you when I was your age.”

“You were?” Oliver handed the cup back to Spencer to set back on the table.

Spencer nodded. “People still think I’m weird. But being weird is good. How boring would the world be if everyone was normal?”

Oliver smiled. “It would be pretty boring,” he said.

“Get some rest, okay? It’ll help you feel better.”

You finally managed to sneak out of work and get home. When you opened the door, you saw Spencer sitting in the chair across from your sleeping son, reading a book. 

“Hey,” he said in a voice just above a whisper.

“Hey. How is he?”

“He has a low-grade fever and he hasn’t been able to keep anything in his stomach. I’ve been having him nibble on some crackers but even that doesn’t stay down.”

“Oh, my poor boy. Thank you for staying with him.”

“Of course. You know I’d do anything for you, for both of you.”

~

The team got back from a particularly rough case dealing with kids. Hotch gave them the weekend off to recuperate. 

“Anyone want to go grab a drink?” Derek offered to the group.

“Or five?” Emily added.

“What do you say, kid? You in?” Derek asked Spencer as the younger man packed up his bag. 

“Oh, no, sorry. I, uh, I have plans,” he said with a smile before slipping out of the office. The team watched him hurry out of the building before sharing glances with each other. 

“Spence has a girlfriend,” JJ realized. 

“Pretty boy has a girlfriend?”

“Think about it. When does Spencer ever have plans? And when was the last time he didn’t stay to do paperwork when we were given the time off?”

“And he upgraded his phone out of nowhere,” Emily chimed in. “He went from one that had only the bare essentials to a smartphone he texts on all the time.”

“We need to find out who this girl is,” Morgan decided. 

Spencer had been keeping you a secret from the team on purpose. Not because he was ashamed of you, or embarrassed, but because he knew the team saw him as the baby and they would be invasive if they ever found out. He didn’t want them to scare you away, he loved you too much to lose you. Though, he hadn’t said it out loud yet.

~

You and Spencer were walking down the street, Oliver asleep on Spencer’s back, snoring against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around Spencer’s neck.

“You have no idea how excited he is for you to see his science fair project,” you said. “It was all he could talk about all week.”

Spencer smiled and adjusted the boy on his back. “I think I’m just as excited to see his project, especially since he wouldn’t let me know anything about it.”

You reached the apartment complex and you dug your keys out of your bag. “Are you sure you can carry him up the stairs? I can wake him if you want me to.”

“No, it’s fine. I got him,” Spencer whispered, moving so that Oliver was clinging to his front rather than his back. He followed you up the stairs to your apartment. When you unlocked the door, he went straight to Oliver’s room and put the tired boy in his bed. He kissed Ollie’s forehead before flicking on his nightlight and leaving the room. 

“Oh, hey,” you said when Spencer came out of the room, “Is he still out?”

“Yeah. I think we might have put him in a coma.”

You laughed and kissed Spencer’s cheek. “Go get some sleep. I know you’re tired, too.”

“I’m not-”

“Spence, you nearly fell asleep at the movies tonight. Go.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll go. But not without a kiss goodnight.”

You gave Spencer a kiss before shooing him across the hall. When Spencer unlocked his door and flicked on the light, he saw his team sitting in his living room. 

“What the hell? What are you doing here? JJ, I gave you a key for emergencies!”

“This is an emergency!” Penelope said. “You have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell us!”

“Kid, please tell me she’s a single mother and you haven’t been keeping a family a secret from us for years,” said Morgan.

Spencer was still annoyed his friends broke into his apartment, but he couldn’t resist talking about you, especially when they’d already seen you. “Her name’s (Y/N), she moved in about a year ago with her son, Oliver. We’ve been dating for three months.”

“Spence, why didn’t you tell us?” JJ asked.

Spencer looked down at his shoes, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I didn’t want you scaring her off. I love her. I love both of them. And you guys can be intimidating.”

~

“Spencer’s coming to the science fair tonight, right?” Oliver asked you as you got him ready for school. 

“That’s what he said,” you told him. “And you know Spencer likes to keep his promises.”

“I can’t wait to show him my mold project!”

“Okay, kiddo, we have to go. We don’t want to be late, do we?”

Meanwhile, Spencer was in the conference room at work, worrying about the latest case they’ve been presented. Someone was releasing a new strain of anthrax in public places around the DC area.

But under his stress over the case, he was worrying about you and Ollie. Maybe that’s why he worked so much harder on this one. 

He and Morgan were sent to the suspect’s house, and Spencer entered first. Looking around, he noticed his mistake. When Morgan made his way to the door, he slammed and locked the door. 

“Reid, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry.”

Spencer was infected. He knew there was a large chance he would die, but he couldn’t stop working. He needed to find the antidote. HIs breathing was getting heavier and he felt sweat dripping down his face. He pulled out his phone and dialed. 

“Hey, Garcia?”

“Reid! Oh, my god, Derek told me what happened. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“That’s not important right now,” he said. “Um, can you- can you record a message for me? It’s for (Y/N) and Ollie.”

“Oh, uh, of course.” He heard her typing. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Spencer cleared the lump in his throat. “Uh, hi, (Y/N), it’s Spencer. Um, I-I wanted to let you know that, uh, I love you and…” he paused, taking a breath and blinking tears from his eyes, “and I’m so happy you let me into your life, into your family. And I want Ollie to know I love him, too. You- both of you- you’re my family.”

After that, things happened too fast. Spencer was being pulled out of the house and hosed down before being ushered to the waiting ambulance. He fell out of consciousness on the ride to the hospital. 

When he woke up in a hospital bed, Morgan was sitting by his side. 

“Are you eating Jell-O?” he asked, his voice cracking from being dry.

Morgan lit up with a smile. “Welcome back, kid.”

“Is there anymore Jell-O?”

Morgan chuckled. “You know, there’s some people here waiting for you.”

“What?”

Before Morgan could explain, you and Oliver burst into the room.

“Oh, my god, Spence!” You ran over and hugged him the best you could with the various medical equipment attached to him. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” you scolded. 

Oliver climbed onto the bed and curled up next to Spencer. “Yeah, don’t do that again,” he said. “How can I take you to Donuts with Dad if you’re dead?” He looked up at Spencer with his big doe-eyes and Spencer felt his heart break a little bit. 

“You-you want me to go to Donuts with Dad with you? Even though I missed your science fair?”

Ollie nodded. “I don’t care that you missed my science fair. I just care that you’re still here.” He looked up and Spencer and wrapped his arms around his torso. “I love you, Spencer.” He gave Spencer a light squeeze. 

Spencer smiled and ruffled his hair. “I love you too, Ollie.” He looked up at you. “And I love you, (Y/N).”

You smiled and gave Spencer a soft kiss. 

“Ewww!” Ollie squealed, making you both laugh. 

~

Spencer proposed to you about a year later. You’d both decided you didn’t want a huge wedding, just family and close friends. Rossi gave his backyard for you to use for the ceremony. It was simple and small, but it was special and wonderful. Spencer had flown Diana out, and you’d flown your parents out.

After the ceremony, Spencer announced that the both of you had a surprise for Ollie. He went inside Rossi’s house and returned with a manila envelope. He cleared his throat. “Ladies and gentlemen, in this envelope, I hold the most important document I have ever signed.” He opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. He cleared his throat. “This certificate certifies that Oliver B. (L/N) is the adopted child of Spencer W. Reid,” he read.

Oliver’s jaw dropped. “What? You’re- what?”

“Remember all those Saturdays Penelope watched you while Spencer and I went out? This is what we were doing,” you told him. 

Oliver ran over to you and Spencer and wrapped you in hugs. The rest of Spencer’s team and your parents joined in. In just two years, your family had gone from just you and your son to more people than you knew what to do with. And that was more than okay with you.

~

“They may not have my eyes, they may not have my smile, but they have all my heart.” -Anonymous

[velvetcloxds]

MEET THE MIKAELSONS| D.H.

Pairing: Derek x Fem! Reader, Teen Wolf x The Originals (requested) 

Word count: 1962 words

Warning: none, just fluff

Summary: Reader takes her friends and her boyfriend, Derek to visit her family home where they find out that she’s related to the infamous Mikaelson vampires.

“Just don’t touch anything,” I command calmly, Stiles pausing mid air as his hand hovers over one of Klaus’s paintings and everyone allows for a soft laugh, Derek kissing the side of my head as his hand remains inside my back pocket.

“This place is beautiful,” Lydia notes, looking around slowly as her eyes move over the various features of the compound.

“Yeah,” I say with a shrug, walking deeper into the compound as I mimic her actions, mentally comparing the way it looks to the pictures Rebekah sent me with her letters and I can’t help but smile when my eyes settle on the Mikaelson crest, fingers reaching out mindlessly as I trace the carved wall numbly.

“What does it stand for?” Derek asks, moving behind me where he wraps his hands around my waist, face resting on my shoulder. My smile grows due to the gesture, free hand finding one of his.

“Mikaelson,” I note softly, memories of our family suddenly speeding through my mind like a slideshow, things I’d told myself I’d forgotten completely proving to be embedded into my brain.

“Like the ancient vampire family?” Scott asks, having disappeared to the bathroom for a minute as soon as we got here.

“More vampires?” Stiles asks from behind me, and I nod.

“Yeah, they’re the first of their kind,” I explain, though my attention is far from this conversation, a feeling similar to the one I felt when I explained this to Derek, him being the only one knowing not only who I truly am and where I come from, but whom I was running from. “The Originals,” I add, and Derek gives me a slight squeeze, turning me around in his arms, probably picking up on my dazed state.

“Cool,” Is all Stiles offers as a reply, taking Lydia’s hand as Scott follows them to explore more of the house.

“You okay?” He whispers, leaning towards me. I nod in his hold, hands moving to his arms.

“Just a little weird being here, I guess.” I look up to him, smiling slightly when our eyes meet. “I thought that when I finally got to see this place in all its glory, they’d be here with me, waiting maybe,” Derek nods with understanding, smiling sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” He loosens his grip, leaning back to get a better look at me. “We can leave if you’re not comfortable,” He offers sweetly and I shake my head with a smile, kissing his lips quickly.

“No,” I tell him though I can’t hide the slight rise in my tone, his brows furrowing as a result. “We need to let things cool down in Beacon Hills and no one will bother us here,” I pause, sighing softly as I move my hands over his bare arms. “Besides, there’s a literal coffin around here somewhere with my name on it.”

“Wait really?” Derek asks intrigued as he looks around the room pointlessly. I nod, not fighting against the smile on my lips.

“Yeah, a dagger too, but I doubt we’ll find that just laying around,” I pull away from him briefly, taking his hand in mine as I guide him towards the hallway by the staircase where Stiles’ is excitedly gesturing towards the wall.

“It’s her!” He announces loudly, eyes moving over the painting that Klaus painted of our family, and I subconsciously tighten my grip on Derek’s hand, his thumb moving up and down against my skin to soothe me.

“It’s not her,” Lydia argues with a roll of her eyes, arms folded as Scott simply watches the scene unfold. “It’s far more likely to be a relative that looks remarkably a lot like her,” She reasons and Derek bites back a grin at my side.

“She’s a vampire, right?” Stiles ask, looking to me for conformation and I nod, seeing no need for the question as he literally walked in on me sipping from a blood bag a few months ago. “And she’s been annoyingly vague about her family and her history, right?” He asks, question directed at Scott and Lydia this time, they both nod. “And she brought us to her family home, which has paintings of the Mikaelson family which Scott saw in the bestiary, where he also read that the Mikaelson family also have a long-lost hybrid sister who hasn’t been spotted in years…” Stiles nods eagerly as he waits for the pieces to fall together, Scott and Lydia looking to me as it does.

“Are you a Mikaelson?” Scott asks, hands in his pockets as he shifts on his feet, I release a shaky breath before offering a mere nod as reply, Stiles almost jumping up and down with the conformation of him being correct.

“Holy shit,” Stiles begins and turns to me, eyes sparkling with excitement. “That is so cool, like literally the coolest thing you’ve ever told us about yourself,” He informs me, and Derek shakes his head at my side, glaring at the boy as he continues to grow more excited.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Scott asks hesitantly, ignoring Stiles who is fiddling with his jacket sleeves as he takes a closer look at my specific painting. “Didn’t you trust us?” He adds as well, and I shake my head quickly.

“Of course I trust you,” I begin, and Derek squeezes my hand again, reminding me to breathe as I think of the best way to explain this. “I wanted to tell you all, truly I did, but our family has enemies around every corner, and I didn’t want to bring you guys into that,” I look over all of them quickly before turning to meet Derek’s gaze. “I love you all too much to create unnecessary collateral damage.“

“So why tell us now?” Lydia questions with a raised brow and I notice the added heartbeats filling the room behind us before I could fathom a reply, the gushing wind of their entrance still swirling around us.

“Because you’re in need of our assistance,” A familiar voice explains, and I close my eyes for a second in preparation before turning to face my older brother.

“Elijah,” I whisper in acknowledgement, the words barely leaving my lips before he’s picking me up into his arms, twirling me around in a welcoming hug that causes a childlike giggle to erupt from my lips. “I’ve missed you too,” I confirm, hands on his shoulders as he sets my feet back on the ground and I take a moment to center myself. “And you,” I say when my eyes meet with Rebekah’s, happy tears tugging at her eyes and I release myself from Elijah’s presence to pull her into my arms, her arms folding around my neck as she holds me close.

“It has been far too long, Y/n ,” She whispers, laughing lightly through her tears. She squeezes me tightly before pulling away, hands moving to comb back the hair that’s been ruffled through our hug and her hands still on my cheeks as she takes me in. “My little sister, even more beautiful than I remember,” She notes, which earns a scoff from both my lips and Elijah’s.

“I look exactly the same, Bekah and you know it,” I muse, taking the handkerchief from Elijah’s hands to hold it out for Rebekah . “Though, I’d never turn down the compliment from the beauty of the family.”

“Oh, I take great offense by your insinuation, love, ” Klaus announces, and everyone turns to the entrance, where he leans against the wall, watching the interaction. “Welcome home, Y/n,” He notes with a large smile, and I know as far as greeting go, that’s quite the scene from the hybrid.

“Thank you, Niklaus,” I offer in the same and my cheeks practically hurt form the pure excitement rushing through me at seeing them all again, the nerves and discomfort from earlier slipping away almost completely, until Klaus’ eyes meet Derek’s and suddenly reality sinks back in. I take a few steps back, smiling up at Derek before rejoining our hands, my other hand snaking around his upper arm to keep him close. “I should introduce everyone,” I note with a nervous smile and Derek simply nods reassuringly.

“I’d begin with the creature you’re so eagerly latching onto,” Klaus announces, happy tone from earlier replaced with the all so familiar big brother voice.

“Play nice, Niklaus,” Elijah instructs, accepting my grateful smile before silently commanding me to continue.

“This is my boyfriend, Derek,” I begin, looking up at the man as he extends a hand towards Elijah inducing the longest handshake I’ve ever had to endure until Rebekah clears her throat, the two men pulling away from each other. “Then there’s Lydia, Stiles and Scott,” I add, releasing a small huff of air as I gesture to each of them individually.

“It’s good to meet all of,” Rebekah speaks up, catching my gaze with a warm smile before she looks to my guests. “We’re the Mikaelsons,” She explains, and I nod lightly. “Elijah, Klaus and I’m Y/n’s personal favorite, Rebekah,” She declares simply, mimicking my gesture until everyone has extended an acknowledging nod.

“We should talk business,” Klaus commands suddenly, standing from his leaning position to walk towards us. “You bunch are here for a reason, aren’t you?” He muses with a slight wink my way and I roll my eyes at the remark, knowing that only he would take this opportunity to take a jab at my decision to leave them.

“Don’t start, Niklaus,” Elijah offers with a tight tone and I would’ve laughed if the room wasn’t so tense, a sense of familiarity filling me at the little group dynamic that’s remained the same through all these years.

“I’m not starting anything, Elijah,” Klaus replies, hurriedly pulling his leather jacket straight. “I’m simply trying to remind our dear sister that she is here on what she called a family favor and that we wouldn’t want to waste her precious time,” I’m too late to stop the soft laugh that escapes my lips, Klaus turning towards be in slight shock.

"Honestly Klaus, it has been centuries and you're telling me that no one has yet to remove that stick from your ass?” I mock and Elijah steps forward, fully prepared to stop the interaction when a smile traces the hybrids lips.

“Little sister,” He muses and then shakes his head, pointing at me. “You have booked yourself a long dinner,” He announces and pats Elijah on the shoulder to invite him to leave the room with him. Elijah spares me a brief smile before following.

“That went better than expected,” Rebekah notes and I smile at her, nodding with relief as Klaus and Elijah begin discussing the diner plans on their climb up the stairs. “Why don’t I show you three your rooms,” she says and motions for Scott, Stiles and Lydia to follow them, pausing to give me a quick kiss on the cheek before leading them away as well. I turn to Derek with a smile, his eyes already waiting for mine as I do.

“You did good, sweetheart,” he tells me, making my heart swell as I lean into him. “I’m very proud of you,” He adds, and I feel a blush creeps onto my cheeks.

“I couldn’t have done it without you at my side,” I say simply, resting my chin against his chest as I look up at him. He hums lightly, shaking his head as he lifts his free hand to gently push the hair behind my ear.

“You definitely could have,” He muses and gently kisses my forehead, sending a welcome rush of pure bliss through my veins, I smile as he lingers close. “My brave girl.”

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad.  Mxx.

Masterlist

[idy-ll-ique]

Breaking The Rules.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader (sort of Winter Soldier x F!Reader too)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: like,,, lots of murder

Requested: nope

Summary: The Winter Soldier attacks the building where Y/N works and comes face-to-face with her. Surprising her and himself, he lets her go, breaking the rules, not following his orders. Y/N is so thankful about his mercy that she is now the world's biggest Bucky Barnes stan. What happens when their paths cross again 7 years later?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so I don't really know if I've done a good job writing this but I tried my best so,,, enjoy!

---

The Asset is not thinking.

The Asset is not made to think.

Casually stroking his gun as he walked into the plain building, he watched the people inside the room pause for a minute. Then the screaming began. He simply stood there, the scene unfolding in front of him as people ran; inside rooms, out the building as they jumped out of windows to avoid him. He let them.

Finally having had enough because HYDRA demands some kills, Soldat, he cocked his gun and started out by fighting the security guards that had an ounce of bravery in them as they approached him with their own guns. He killed them easily. Then he moved further into the building, ending the lives of anyone who tried to get in his way.

What was his purpose of doing this? There was none. He was programmed to kill, and the program had no specific targets. No targets, only kill. He walked up the stairs of the building as more people, who had not been dead, escaped. Then he ended up on the floor where she was.

Y/N was going through a stack of papers, wearing headphones, when she heard a scream. It had been so sudden and loud that she startled badly, the papers flying from her hands as she turned around, ready to give the person a piece of her mind only to be met with the prettiest blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. The breath left her lungs and fear overtook her.

The person in front of her; she had heard of him. They called him The Winter Soldier. He was covered in black leather, his silver arm shining in the sunlight that entered through the window on her right. She quickly glanced at it; she was 10 stories above ground. He had a black mask on (more like a muzzle, she thought) and a peculiar look on his face.

She looked around the room, her eyes filling with tears when she saw the bodies of her coworkers, the friends she had made at the workplace, littered on the floor. Damn you, stupid headphones. She discarded them. He had killed them all. The Winter Soldier didn't really have a say in what he did, she told herself, he had been programmed to act like that.

Nothing but a murder toy for HYDRA.

And she hated them for that.

"Don't cry." She looked back at the Soldat, her eyes wide in confusion. Huh? Why would he say that? She blinked away the tears and started raising a hand to wipe them off when he suddenly raised his gun. Her hand paused mid-air and she held her breath, waiting for him to finally put her out of her misery as her eyes unconsciously watered once more.

When he saw her hand, though, her palm was facing him. Ready to rub off the tears, he noticed, and he lowered the gun. "Don't cry," he repeated and Y/N, as absurd as she found the situation to be, did as he ordered. She wiped the tears off and rubbed her hands on the jeans she was wearing, staring at the man. He stared back at her.

When he first entered the floor, he had done what he had been told, until there was no one alive in the room. Or so he thought, until his eyes landed on Y/N. She was wearing some sort of a device over her head, completely oblivious to what was going on. Was she deaf? Did she not hear the gunshots?

As he approached her cautiously, someone screamed behind him. And he saw how the papers flew out of her hand she whirled around, her big, doe eyes blinking at him until recognition sparked in them. Then she cowered. For some reason, as he looked at her, he couldn't bring himself to harm her. She looked… adorable, almost. So he did what he did best.

Stared.

Her eyes were darting around the place, and they watered when they landed on the bodies on the floor. He gulped quietly under his mask, something inside him stirring uncomfortably as he watched her cry. And suddenly, he couldn't help himself. "Don't cry," he blurted out and she looked back at him. He stared. She blinked rapidly and started raising her hand.

Thinking she would raise a hand on him, he immediately held up his gun as a warning but realized that she was simply drying her tears, new ones in her eyes as she looked at the gun. And he suddenly felt very apologetic. "Don't cry," he repeated and allowed her to wipe her tears. But he was surprised to hear her speak.

"Please don't hurt me."

She was shaking, arms going around herself, but she wasn't crying. At least she was not crying. He didn't reply, only stared as a foreign, almost forgotten word came to mind. Pretty. She was pretty. Soldat or not, how could he bring himself to harm a pretty thing like her? He raised his gun again when he remembered his orders; kill, do not show mercy.

The pretty woman started crying again, this time her tears were much more prominent. "Please, please don't do it, please… I have done nothing to you, don't do it…" she pleaded, fingers intertwined as if in prayer. Kill her. But he ignored the order and lowered his gun again.

"Pretty," he stated and her brows furrowed. Y/N blinked at him, pretty? Did she hear that right? He called her pretty, right? "Pardon?" she blurted out and his head tilted to the side. "Go." His voice sounded strained and for a moment, Y/N wanted to embrace him, to comfort him but hurriedly dismissing the thoughts, she turned on her heels and ran out the building.

The Asset stared at her as she ran.

He had not been programmed to think.

Then why had he?

---

"Guys, I'm telling you, it was so surreal—"

"Oh my God, Y/N, will you stop—"

Steve, Sam and Bucky glanced at the group of ladies that ended up at the bar next to them. A few years had passed since the incident between Bucky and Y/N took place and he was back to normal. No longer the Winter Soldier; he was an ally of the Avengers now. Steve glanced at his friends, lips curling into an amused smile.

"What do you think they're talking about?" he whispered and Sam snickered quietly. "Why don't we listen?" Bucky simply shook his head, but was also kind of intrigued at this surreal experience that Y/N talked about. Y/N… that name sounded kind of familiar to him, but maybe it was a common one, what did he know?

"He called me pretty!"

"We know he's hot, Y/N, but seriously, the Winter Soldier did not call you pretty."

The three men froze and their eyes darted amongst each other. "He did," Y/N whined, "I'm telling you!" Bucky almost dropped his glass but managed to hold on, his jaw dropped. Thankfully the ladies were not aware of the men shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation. "Wait wait wait, what is this about you and the Winter Soldier? I've not heard that story."

"Ugh, Sam, you've done it now!"

Steve and Bucky glanced at Sam with smirks and he rolled his eyes. "Samantha," he snarked but the super soldiers only shrugged in reply. "Okay okay, this was like… 7 years ago. I was in my office, working, when our building was attacked. By him." And Bucky, try as he might, couldn't remember shit.

"Dude, I was wearing headphones so damn strong that I didn't hear literal gunshots echoing around the room, like what?"

"Seriously, Y/N? You know we won't say anything if you tell us you're lying."

"But I'm not lying," Y/N insisted, "I heard a scream and finally took off the headphones. When I turned to see who had screamed, he was literally standing in front of me." Hazy memories slowly flashed in his mind; a plain building, those red-black headphones and the fluttering of papers. He gulped his drink down.

"And didn't kill you like he had been trained to? I still think you're lying. Or maybe you just have severe trauma and you made up a story of the handsome Bucky Barnes calling you pretty." Bucky nearly laughed when Y/N's face turned red but then guilt started weighing heavy in his stomach. He had put her in danger…

"I don't have trauma, don't joke about stuff like that! Anyway, I was like, scared shitless. I thought I was gonna die, I started crying but he told me, don't cry. Like huh?" Bucky didn't remember that part. Steve and Sam were now definitely drawn to the story, their eyes set on their glasses as they listened.

"I didn't want to anger him so I wiped my tears but he raised that goddamn gun again and I started crying again. He repeated his words and I started pleading, as we've all seen in action movies." Snorts drifted between them. "Please don't hurt me, let me go…" Y/N mimicked but Bucky's heart rate suddenly spiked. The same voice, the same tone…

He had had a nightmare the previous night.

She was the one he heard.

"Okay, so after I'm done begging, you know what he fucking says? Out of all things, he literally called me pretty. Like just— just that one word came out of his mouth. I'm literally still so confused," she spoke animatedly and the friend who had not heard the story before gasped. "Seriously? No way," she scoffed.

"Yes way!" Y/N got impatient. Why did no one ever believe her? She got that it was an outlandish story, but it was real! Y/N wished the Soldat was here; not to kill, of course, merely to confirm the fact that he had, indeed, called her pretty. But that man was long gone, replaced by someone who was stable-but-not-so-stable, undoubtedly handsome and with a new metal arm. This Bucky was much better than the dangerous Soldat.

"Then he told me to go. He sounded so fucking soft, you know? I have so much respect for Bucky Barnes, I mean, look at him. He went through so much he didn't deserve, and sometimes I just wanna—" She made a choking gesture, "—everyone who hurt him." Her friends chuckled but he could tell she wasn't lying. She really did care for him.

After all he put her through…

"I'm serious! Look at him! He looks like a lost puppy. How can you not care about him?" Y/N whined and her friends shook their heads. "You just have a big crush on the man, accept it." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve and Sam smirked at him. He nudged them both, keeping silent. "You know what? I wish he was here right now. He probably doesn't even remember but if he did—"

"I remember it, doll, only vaguely…"

Y/N's group froze as their gazes followed the voice, landing on the three Avengers beside them. Her friends were mortified, Y/N even more so. Did he hear the story? "D-Did you… hear…" she stammered and Bucky pursed his lips. "I'm sorry." The apology fell out before he could stop himself and Y/N, ever the Bucky-apologist, instantly shook her head.

"It was not your fault. HYDRA did that to you. You didn't deserve any of it, mark my words." She sounded like Steve, he noticed and smiled gently. After all he put her through… she still stood by his side. "Thank you, doll, that really means a lot," he said sincerely and Y/N grinned at him. "You're welcome!" And before she could turn to her friends, he spoke up again.

"I meant what I said."

"Hm?" She looked at him, head tilted in confusion. "When I called you pretty, I meant it. You are pretty, very much so." She went red under his intense gaze and shied away, forcing Steve, Sam and her friends to burst into boisterous laughter. "Th-Thanks," she mumbled and Bucky craved her more.

"Join me for a drink?" he questioned and her eyes widened. He mistook it for fear and immediately lowered his head. "Sorry, I overstepped—" He froze when she took his metal hand, holding it gently, looking at him with the same eyes he had thought to be adorable 7 years ago. "Of course I'll join you." A genuine smile bloomed on his face and without a care in the world, he led her away from her friends.

She was going to be his.

Forever and always.

The only woman caring and wonderful enough to accept him, broken and everything.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading! Love you all 🖤

[6sakusa]

hello i see requests are open 🥺 can you write an angst to fluff with suna 💞💞 maybe som ething related to birthdays/anniversary’s, or just feel free to take creative liberty. thank you i love your work 😖💞

“birthday” suna rintarō.

a/n : i hope you enjoy, if so please support by liking & reblogging <3

warnings : angst, implications of a toxic relationship, mild swearing, me not proof reading sorry.

you had been sitting against the hardwood chair for hours now, it felt pointless to even count, time was blurring slowly and you couldn’t help but fade away with it. you would have never imagined your day would go like this, from the moment you had woken up your boyfriend suna hadn’t been in bed next to you, granted that was something you were used to. however, you thought today would be different, considering it was your birthday.

since suna went pro he seemingly had less and less time for you but you could tell he was making as much as an effort as possible, that’s probably the reason that you failed to address it multiple times regardless of the way it had been eating away at you. how could you get in the way of your boyfriends dreams? he had finally accomplished everything he had wanted since high school, he was playing for a division one team, he had the apartment he’d been dreaming of, the car he had saved on his pinterest board since he was seventeen, and now even though he never cared for fame he was definitely famous.

and you were there for the entire ride, you were there when he first decided to try out for inarizaki’s volleyball team in first year, even though you weren’t dating then you still encouraged him to go for it. you were the one who showed up to his first practice to ease his nerves even though he tried to act brave. you were there when he went to nationals for the first time, the look in his eyes was indescribable, it was beautiful and it’s when you knew that you were slowly falling in love with suna. you were there when he lost his first official game comforting him as much as you could. you were there in second year when he lost against karasuno, you were there when he got his first girlfriend advising him what to get her even though you were completely whipped over him. yes, you were always by his side, thankfully the two of you made things official in third year.

but now looking back thinking on all of it you realised one thing you had never even considered is that this would happen, that once suna achieved everything you would no longer be his priority. you weren’t going to lie to yourself, it hurt, it seriously hurt. especially when you had been anticipating him to leave atleast a note wishing you a happy birthday saying he would be back in a couple hours to celebrate with you. but no, there wasn’t even that. no note, no text, no phone call, nothing.

and here you thought you would take the burden off his hands by planning something for the day, you had spent hours preparing a three course meal knowing that once suna was back from practice he would be on the verge of knocking out, the last thing you wanted was him dragging himself to some fancy resturant across town at your benefit. yet, it didn’t matter how much you considered his feelings since he wasn’t even here to show an ounce of gratitude.

it was taking everything in you to hold in your tears, had he really forgotten? even his own teammates had taken the time to text or call you to wish you a happy birthday, but right now it was anything but that.

what probably hurt the most was the crushing realisation of how unimportant you were becoming in his life, why were you even still in it? did he even want you around, even if he does then that didn’t mean you should necessarily stay, afterall it was becoming clearer and clearer that you deserved better even if you cursed the thought of saying it outloud. well, you atleast deserved someone who could remember your special day.

your head darted to the door as you heard the sound of keys and the lock clicking, it was almost as if suna’s very presence could pull you out of any trance.

“rin?” you smiled, why were you smiling? you shouldn’t be smiling. were you really so hopelessly infatuated with your boyfriend that you would let all your thoughts melt away at the sight of him alone? come on now, this is disappointing.

you deserve better.

you launched yourself into his arms in which he embraced you tightly, it wasn’t anything special, he did it everytime he had come home to you, but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach as if you were still in your honeymoon phase when it came to rintarō.

“are you hungry? i made some food.” you pulled away taking a glance at his face, even when you were right in front of him it didn’t even seem like he was acknowledging your presence. his eyes were trailing between empty space, not even looking down at you. you couldn’t help but sigh to yourself, why had you gotten so excited?

“nah.” he shook his head attempting to make his way over to your shared bedroom. he looked tired and you weren’t surprised, afterall being a pro player was no easy task but you hoped at the very least that he would say something. secretly you were hoping that this was all some shitty prank that he decided to play on you and any second now he would jump out saying happy birthday and offering to spend some time with you.

“but rin i-“ you could barely finish your sentence before he decided to cut in with a tone so sharp that it was offensive.

“not now y/n, i’m not in the mood.” he sighed.

“i understand that but-“

“are you really going to keep talking? don’t start this clingy shit right now i said i’m not hungry.” and with that he didn’t even bother turning around, not even one glance at the food you had prepared before he disappeared down the hallway.

oh.

so he really had forgotten, even though the two of you would joke around a lot you knew he would never take things this far. not to the point where your eyes were glued to the floor and it felt like you couldn’t breathe because of the way your heart was literally breaking in your chest, not to the point where it felt like the person who you deemed the most important on the planet didnt give a shit about you.

suna clicked his tongue running his hands through his hair in exasperation as he thought about the way he just treated you. truly, he didn’t know what his problem was, there was just so much pressure on him lately and it seemed to be building up from every corner of his life, except from you, so why did he always take things out on you? the one he cared about most? the one he would do anything for? maybe it’s because he knew there would be no serious consequences, or so he thought. regardless, he would apologise to you soon when he calmed down, you didn’t deserve all the shit he was putting you through and he would make sure you knew exactly what you meant to him.

but what he didn’t know is how you were standing in the kitchen with a hole in your heart. there wasn’t much you could do now, he barely let you speak and you weren’t really up to reminding him of the fact it was your birthday, especially if he didn’t care to hear it.

you sighed making your way to the fridge pulling out a chocolate cake, you had gotten it because you knew it was suna’s favourite flavour and he was particularly picky when it came to cakes even though it was your birthday.

“i might as well still celebrate.” you mumbled to yourself, tears making their way down your face. maybe for another day you could pretend that everything was okay.

you picked up some candles from the drawer and stuck them into the cake softly, it was a miracle how you could still keep your composure regardless of what had just happened. sighing you lit them up, in a way it was such a tragic sight to see. in everyone else’s eyes you had everything you could have ever wanted in life, people looked up to you and yet here you were, feeling like the most lonely person on the planet.

“happy birthday to me.” you whispered with a sad smile and glossy eyes before blowing out the candles.

tragic indeed.

“y/n?” suna turned the corner raising an eyebrow at your state. he could tell you were crying and as much as it hurt him it also shocked him, he had said mean things to you before but you didn’t usually cry over them even though they clearly caused you pain. it took everything in him not to hit his head against the wall right now, you were in this state because of how he dismissed you.

you looked up at him, your eyes were void of the excitement they held when you had saw him earlier and he took note of it. “oh rintarō, do you want cake?” your tone was curious but your expression was deadpan, and to suna it was scary.

“i came to apologise.” he began making his way towards you glancing at the cake several times, why were you blowing out candles?

that’s when it hit him. what day is it today? he wasn’t sure he hasn’t been very perceptive of time lately but he did know it was your birthday month.

his heart dropped.

had he really neglected you this much lately that he had forgotten your own birthday? and he had the audacity to call himself your boyfriend.

“y/n, i’m so sorry i don’t know how i forgot-“

“save it rin, i see things clearly now, thank you.” you turned to make your way out of the kitchen but he was onto you before you were even able to.

“you see things clearly? what do you mean? y/n, i know i’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately and forgetting your birthday is unforgivable but please don’t say what i think you’re about to.” he clenched his jaw pulling your hand into his chest.

“what do you want me to do? ealier you didn’t even let me speak, is it something i did? do you hate me?” you asked with tears streaming down your face, you couldn’t pretend anymore.

“no, no, don’t ever think that, you’re perfect, you’re everything i could ever ask for, you’re not the problem you never have been.” he embraced you, wrapping his arms so tightly as if the moment he let go you would be gone.

“so why don’t you care about me anymore?” the broken tone in your voice was sending suna off the rails, he couldn’t believe he was the cause of this, he hated himself.

“that’s not true, i do care about you, i love you, you’re everything to me, you don’t even know how much you mean to me.” he pulled away to cup your face, this time you could see the sincerity in his eyes, the genuine interest, the adoration. “fuck, i’ve just been under pressure and i’ve taken it out on you, i can’t even tell you how sorry i am.”

“give me another chance to be better to you y/n, please don’t leave me i can’t live without you.” he fell to his knees, still holding your hand in his.

“rin-“

“please” he begged, a look of anguish prominant on his features as if he expected you to say no.

“get up rin.” you watched as he rose slowly, anxiety engulfing him as he couldn’t anticipate your answer. “i’ll give you another chance, always.”

“thank you.” he kissed your forehead before bringing you back into his arms.

“what are you doing?” you frowned watching as he brought out his phone and began texting.

“i just told my coach i’m taking a week off, i swear i’ll make this up to you, happy birthday y/n.”

you smiled at the thought of having your boyfriend to yourself for an entire week for the first time in ages, maybe your birthday wouldn’t be so bad afterall.

“tell me what you want princess, anything at all.. do you want to go out of the country? you wanted to see paris right?”

you chuckled at his words as he wiped your tears, looking at you with eyes full of love. “i don’t care what we do, as long as i’m with you.”

“well first how about i have cake with the love of my life?” he turned to the chocolate cake on the dining table before relighting the candles. “how about you do this properly this time hmm?”

“i would like that.” you smiled.

[thestarrynightslover]

Babe, huh?

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Voight!Reader

Word count: 2,097

Warnings: A little angst (but more in a comical way, I think).

Summary: Jay and the reader have been going out for some time when he spots her happily chatting with Sergeant Platt at the district's front desk. He's happily surprised to see her there, but there's one thing she had been holding back from telling him: who her dad is.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: I think that this could have turned out a lot better than it did. But I think it isn't too bad either.

Also, I wanna thank y’all for the amount support that I’ve been getting on my fics! That really means the world to me, guys!! 💕

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It was an unusually sunny day in Chicago when you left work that noon. You didn’t always go out on your lunch breaks, preferring to just grab something on the machines scattered across the office, but on that Wednesday you’d told your dad that you two would meet for a father-daughter date. And that really was all you were thinking about, as you walked up the steps of the small staircase in front of the 21st District.

“Hey, Trudy!” You greeted the desk sergeant, who had been a friend of your family for as long as you could remember.

“Hi, (y/n/n)! What a surprise to see you here!” She told you, a huge smile on her face. “A nice surprise, for a change!” Platt stated, looking sharply at a younger woman who was standing at the corner of the counter, probably filling out some paperwork.

“Ah, Trudy! You flatter me!” You said innocently, looking at her through your lashes, the face you always used with the trio: Your dad, Trudy, and Al.

“Ha! Always so cute!” The sergeant spoke again, like she was talking to a baby, as the other woman just stared at the scene in shock. “But what are you doing here, anyway? Came to surprise your dad? Because I’m sure he’ll love that!”

“No, it’s not exactly a surprise! We’d previously agreed on a lunch-date for today...” You trailed off.

“Oh! Then that’s why he came back from the raid they just made pacing like a deer in headlights!” Hearing that comment, you couldn’t help but laugh, as you imagined your father acting like that. “Hey, Burgess!” She shouted at the woman near to you. “Are you finishing that already? Because, when you do, you need to go back upstairs and let your sergeant know that his date’s here.” Trudy said simply, winking at you, to which you just responded with a smile.

“Oh, c’mon, sarge! Really? Why can’t you just call or text him?” The woman, Burgess, questioned, poutingly.

“Because I don’t want to? And tell me, again, since when did I start needing to give you a reason to follow my orders, huh, officer? Because I don’t recall getting the memo!” The sergeant barked, practically biting the younger officer’s head off.

“Geez, sarge-” Officer Burgess started answering, as reality finally began to hit her. “Wait,” she breathed out, turning to face you this time, “you’re Voight’s dau-” Burgess stopped in the middle of her sentence, now being cut off by another voice that was very familiar to you.

“Baby?” Shit, you thought. “What are you doing here?” Your boyfriend asked you, with a bright smile on his face.

How could have you possibly forgotten that Jay worked here? At your dad’s district? Of course, you still hoped that they somehow wouldn’t know each other. But you weren’t prepared for that introduction just yet. And it would happen, taking that he wasn’t shy at all about kissing you that passionately right in front of Trudy Platt. One of your dad’s best friends, Trudy Platt. You knew you couldn’t blame him, though. After all, you were the one who kept him in the dark about who your dad was.

“H- hi, Jay.” You managed to mumble whilst catching your breath.

“Hey,” he started, giving you those cute love eyes of his, “I’m surprised to see you here, but not complaining!” He said, raising his hands and smiling at you. “You wanna grab lunch?”

“Uh, I, uh-”

“I’m afraid she’s already taken for lunch, Halstead.” None other than your dad huffed out, from the top of Intelligence’s stairs. Of course, he would have to see that entire scene, and, of course, he would have to know your boyfriend.

Hearing that, Jay turned his head between you and your dad, and, then, looked at Trudy and Burgess, more confused than anything. “Babe?” He decided on asking you about it. To which your dad just gave a side-smile.

“Babe, huh?” He mocked, walking closer to where you were standing. “Something you wanna tell me, honey?”

“I-” You barely started when someone interrupted.

“Please, don’t tell me you’re shacking up with him, (y/n)?!?!?” Trudy cut you off, half-asking, half-begging while you started feeling the heat coming to your cheeks.

"So, (y/n), you gonna explain this? We're all here waiting." Your father told you, no more sense of humor in his features.

"Look, guys… " You started, not really knowing how to move from there. You didn't think you'd have to have the conversations with both your father and your boyfriend at the same time, and in front of Trudy (not to mention the other cops passing by). So you went for the easy way out, maybe it was a bit of a childish choice, but still. "You know what? No, I'm not gonna explain anything to anyone right now," you spoke, making clear that that was meant for all of them, "and, I don’t think that I’m in the mood for lunch anymore, dad." At that, the three cops just kept staring at you, Jay being the first to speak up.

"Uh, dad? (y/n), baby, just tell me what's going on." He pleaded with you, eyes already showing some hurt, which made you feel like the worst person ever. But you just knew that you wouldn’t be able to properly explain anything to anyone at that moment, not in that kind of circumstance anyway, so you decided to get the hell out of there before you buried yourself even deeper.

After you fleed the building, leaving a bunch of stunned police officers behind, Trudy took it upon herself to figure out why on Earth you’d be kissing the stupid Detective Jay Chuckles Halstead: “So, how’s it gonna be, Halstead? Why the hell were you kissing our (y/n/n), hum?” She asked, bluntly, while motioning between herself and Hank.

“Your (y/n/n)?” Jay shot back, completely confused by the whole situation.

“Actually, she’s mine. My daughter.” Voight finally spoke again, fulminating the younger man with his eyes.

“Okay… I think this is my cue to leave." Burgess finally decided to say 𑁋 as she was feeling very awkward 𑁋, sliding off towards the back exit.

“Uh, yeah, um, I’m gonna- I’m gonna go, grab some lunch outside too.” Jay ranted a little, running his hand over the back of his neck and moving towards the exit, right on Kim’s track.

The rest of the day went by tensely at the police district: Jay avoiding both his superiors, as you ducked his calls, and Hank and Trudy sending almost tangible hate waves on his way. It wasn’t like your time at work gone too well either, with the mess you’d made always in the back of your mind.

So 𑁋 after you got back home 𑁋, knowing it was the right, mature, thing to do, you called Jay and, then, your dad, telling them both to come by your place for dinner. Yes, you were about to ambush them. Because you’re a mature person.

“Hey, babe!” You cheerfully greeted your boyfriend, perking up to kiss him, as you opened the apartment door more.

“Hey.” Jay answered coldly while dodging your kiss, at which you frowned in confusion.

“So, um,” you decided to start again, tucking a string of hair behind your ear, “I called you here because I needed to talk to you-”

“Yeah, we definitely need to talk.” He said, cutting you off with a stern look on his face.

At the exact moment you were about to open your mouth to say something, the doorbell rang again and you knew it was your dad. Okay, maybe that whole ambush thing wasn’t a good idea after all. You gave Jay an apologetic look in advance, as you walked back towards the door, only to open it and reveal a, still, very pissed off Hank Voight.

“What’s he doing here?” Your dad barked out, not wasting a second, as he pointed a finger at the man standing behind you.

“You called him too?” This time it was Jay asking. “I thought it was gonna be just the two of us…” He then added quietly.

“Just the two of us! Who the hell do you think you are, huh, Halstead?!”

“Sarge, I’m just trying to-”

“I don’t care what you’re trying to do, you need to get out of here right now so I can talk to my daughter. That’s what you need to do!”

“Enough!” You yelled, finally getting both men’s attention. “Dad, you need to stop talking to Jay like that.”

“But-”

“But, nothing! He is my boyfriend and I love him!” You blurted out, Jay giving you a small smile in response. “So… Now that that’s out of the way… Jay, this is my dad.” You added, motioning for where your father stood by the door. “And, before any of you asks, no, I didn’t know that you two worked together! I thought that maybe you knew each other, but wasn’t ready to make the introductions just yet. And I’m sorry if that caused a, um, situation.”

“Baby… Why didn’t you ever tell me that your father was a cop?”

“I- I just, I was just afraid that’d push you away from me. You know, before we even had a chance.” You admitted shyly.

“Why- why would that push him away from you, (y/n/n)?” That was your dad’s turn to ask.

“Well, I know that you have a reputation, dad. So I figured that maybe he wouldn’t wanna get involved with your daughter of all people. Wouldn’t want the trouble.” You confessed one more time. “Besides, we all saw how, um, fiercely Trudy was willing to “protect me”.” You added, making them both giggle a little.

“Alright, there’s just one more thing that still doesn’t add up.” Your boyfriend started again, still serious but more relaxed this time. “Why isn’t your last name Voight?” He asked, still unsure of what was going on, as you and your dad traded knowing looks with each other.

“Ah, that... After my mom died, I started using her maiden last name. You know, as a way to remember her. It’s been so long now that I actually forget that the Voight’s even there.” You explained. “Sorry, dad.”

“Nah, it’s okay. You know I like the idea.” Hank replied, a soft smile on his lips.

“Ah, okay. That makes sense.” Jay said nervously and started scratching the back of his neck, like he always did when he was getting anxious. “Just- just so you know, princess, I wouldn’t have backed out of our relationship, then. And I’m not going to, now, either.” The anger in your father’s eyes relit but you didn’t really care, not when all you wanted to do was jump your handsome detective and not let him out of your apartment until, at least, the next morning.

“Dad,” you began saying, after deciding to go for a more conciliatory version of it, “don’t be like that, okay? I know that you wanna protect me and everything, but I’m happy with Jay. I really am.”

“And I promise I’ll never, ever, do anything to hurt her, sarge. But, if I do, you should definitely hurt me back with all you got.”

“Oh, I will! And I think you’ve been working with me long enough to know that I don’t need your ‘go ahead’, or anyone else’s, for those matters, Halstead.” Your dad cheerfully stated while shooting a typical Hank Voight fake smile in Jay’s direction. “Now, if my daughter says she’s happy with you…” He started, turning to look at you, as if trying to confirm the information.

“Yes! I am!”

“Then… I suppose I could accept this.” You didn’t give him a single chance to second guess, pulling him in for a tight hug while Jay watched the scene smiling.

“Now let's have dinner! That way you guys can finish talking this whole macho tension out and we can all make a plan to appease Trudy." You told them, moving to heat the takeout you’d ordered earlier in your kitchen, Jay coming to help you in tow.

Many other times you, Jay, and your dad met for dinner, lunch, or even breakfast like that. If you and your boyfriend ever went a little overboard on the PDA, the infamous Hank Voight huff would definitely be heard. But, overall, you knew he was happy for you and Jay. Just like you knew that the detective liked hanging out with you and your dad.

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

Room For Dessert

anon requested- Can you do a smut where rossi has a dinner party but also has his Niece staying with him because her apartment is being fumigated. Her and Spencer hit it off and go at it.

anon requested- smut 54: you better be quiet or everyone is going to know what a naughty little slut you are. and 59: such a needy little thing, aren't you? with Spencer

Contains: fingering (female receiving), hand job (male receiving), mention of pregnancy/breeding kink, name calling, slight degradation, unprotected sex, swearing, sexual acts in a public setting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had never met my uncle David's co-workers before. He had always talked about introducing us, but it just never seemed to be the right time. It seems that today though, the world decided it was the right time.

He was having a dinner party tonight and my apartment needed to be fumigated. What luck!

I figured I would be staying with him for a couple days, so I packed my things after work yesterday. Now it was Saturday, the day of the party, and time to head over.

I had to admit I was nervous. A dinner party with people I didn't know? Talk about awkward. But I decided to make the most of it.

Once I was at his house, he took me to a spare room that would be mine for the next few days and showed me where everything was. Not that I would remember since we're in a mansion.

A few hours passed and it was time for people to start arriving. As I was getting my party clothes on, I could hear voices downstairs. Guess I should hurry.

Once I was done with my hair, makeup, and clothes, I made my way slowly down the stairs. The voices got progressively louder as I got closer.

A few people were scattered around the immediate area. A dark-haired woman stood talking to a blonde woman over near the far side of the room. Uncle David was talking with an Asian man and a dark-skinned woman by the entrance to the kitchen. And lastly, a well-built Hispanic man sat talking to a blonde woman in colorful clothing and a tall, slightly unkempt man.

I wasn't sure where to go first so I just kind of stood on the bottom step without saying anything. Then Uncle David noticed me.

"Ah there she is! We've been waiting for you. Come on and mingle while the food is finishing up."

At his words, the room full of people all turned their heads toward me.

Slightly taken aback by all the eyes on me, I gave a small wave and a smile before making my way down to them.

"It's nice to meet you guys! I'm (Y/N). Uncle David has told me about all of you."

The woman wearing bright colors made her way over to me first, a glass of champagne in hand.

"It's so nice to meet you! Your dress is to die for!"

She then enveloped me in a one arm hug. I hugged her back and accidentally made eye contact with the tall guy in the back. He quickly looked away. What was he staring at me for?

"I'm Penelope by the way!"

She pulled away and smiled at me once more before making room for the next person.

Emily, JJ, Luke, Tara, and Matt all introduced themselves. The last guy must be...

"Dr. Spencer Reid," he said as he stuck his hand out to shake.

Oh. Oh wow.

Now that I got a closer look at him, I could see why his nickname was "Pretty Boy." If we hadn't been in front of so many people, I would've had to jump his bones right then.

I shook his hand shyly.

"It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Aren't you a little too attractive to be in the FBI? How does anyone get their work done?"

Spencer cleared his throat and glanced around the room to see people start walking to the kitchen. The food must be almost done.

"Well, why don’t you sit next to me at the dinner table? I’ll make sure to tell you all about my...work,” he murmured as he made no attempts to hide his eyes roaming my body.

Did-did he just...?

Before I could think anything coherent, he began walking away. He was probably just messing with me. I’m just being stupid.

Still, my legs felt a bit weak as I made my way into the kitchen. They were all sitting down and the only empty seat was next to Spencer. As I approached, he jumped up and pulled out the chair.

“Here let me.”

He gave me a bashful look, not at all like the look he gave my body moments ago in the living room. What is this guy’s deal?

I gave him a small smile and took a seat. He pushed me towards the table and sat down next to me.

Uncle David did his toast thing to be thankful for everyone being here, and then we started dishing up our food. There was so much to choose from that my plate became full almost immediately.

“So tell me,” I said to the man next to me, “What’s it like to be the BAU’s resident genius?”

Spencer glanced at me as he gathered food onto his plate.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that an IQ score or any amount of knowledge makes someone a genius. Not that both of those aren’t high for me, but I don’t like to quantify the term genius.”

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“But between you and me, it feels pretty good.”

I giggled and he smiled at me. He has a nice smile.

“Hey I made you laugh and it wasn’t at me. Maybe I’m getting somewhere with women.”

I traced the rim of my champagne glass before looking at him. I know I’d like to go somewhere with him...

“I don’t see how women aren’t all over you, Doctor. I mean. Have you looked in a mirror?”

Spencer chuckled and smiled, almost nervously.

“I’d rather look at you.”

My cheeks got hot and I blinked rapidly. Oh no. This is it. It’s happening.

But I hadn’t forgotten that look he gave me before we sat down. I hadn’t forgotten the way he undressed me with his eyes. If he wanted to mess with me then I would mess with him too.

I leaned over slowly so no one would notice and began talking in a low voice in his ear.

“What parts of me would you like to look at, Doctor?”

Spencer choked on his drink when I finished speaking. I leaned away feeling accomplished and with a painful twitch in my chest from trying not to lose my shit at him sputtering like an idiot.

But it would seem that karma is, in fact, a bitch.

“How about I start with those pretty tits of yours?”

It was my turn to choke on my drink this time. This earned me a few glances from the people across from me at the table.

“You two okay over there?” Emily asked us, having no clue what was really happening on our side of the table.

Spencer gave me a fake confused glance and then met Emily’s eyes.

“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”

She shrugged and seemed to leave it at that, turning back to her conversation with JJ.

“How about...,” Spencer began next to me in a low voice so that no one would hear, “We have a little fun?”

I raised an eyebrow at him, not really sure what he meant by that.

He widened his eyes and looked me up and down in response as if to say, “You know exactly what I mean.”

I tried not to smile as big as I wanted to, so I settled on a sly grin in his direction to let him know I was game.

His body seemed to relax in relief almost, something I wasn’t expecting. Was he genuinely interested in me or was he just messing with me because I happened to be here?

I tried distracting myself from these thoughts and started actually eating, since we were at a dinner party after all.

A few minutes went by of idle conversation, although I wasn’t really listening. I responded in short sentences and nods in between bites of food, but my mind was elsewhere.

It wasn’t too long though, until my mind went straight to my thigh, where a hand could be felt slowly making its way up.

Trying not to make it obvious, I turned towards Spencer with a shocked look on my face. He wasn’t even looking at me, he was looking ahead and having a full conversation with Matt and Luke. How is he multitasking this well?

His hand- his very large and warm hand- made its way even farther up, snaking towards my center with a painfully slow pace.

I knew what he was planning, and I was ready for it. At least, I think I am.

His finger brushed against the edge of my panties and he paused. When I looked over at him, he had his chin casually resting on his other hand and was looking at me sideways. He raised an eyebrow to ask me if it was okay.

In response, I took his hand that was so close to where I wanted it to be, and brought it down so that he could feel the wet spot forming just from thinking about what he was getting ready to do.

I think this shocked him a little, so he cleared his throat and looked ahead, picking up another conversation with Tara.

He made his way back to where he was and began slipping fingers past the hem of my panties. They were warm and soft, but still, I shivered.

I tried my best to continue on as normal while people talked to me, but as soon as I felt the pad of his pointer finger stroking my folds, I choked on my words.

No one seemed to notice, so I continued on like nothing happened.

He was teasing me now, touching around my entrance but never going in it. How irritating.

I’m sure he sensed my frustration, since he chuckled under his breath and immediately shoved a finger inside me.

I inhaled sharply, not expecting the force or suddenness. This seemed to please him; at least I’m assuming he was pleased based on the grin that graced his features.

He continued working while he talked, never stopping the motions of going in and out of me. He even began rubbing my clit with another finger while he fingered me. He must be really good at piano. And guitar, for that matter.

It was starting to get a little warm, and my body began reacting to the way he was relentlessly rubbing my clit in hurried circles.

“Spencer,” I hissed so that no one else could hear.

“Hmmm?”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I believe I’m trying to make you cum on my fingers.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I felt my core tighten. I looked around to make sure no one had heard us. The coast seemed to be clear.

“You’re gonna pay for this, asshole,” I choked out.

This seemed to only fuel him. His fingers began relentlessly attacking my swollen bundle of nerves and they did not stop. Not even close. He only got faster and faster, and I have no idea how that was even possible to begin with.

I wanted to smack the smirk that appeared when I tightened around his fingers right off his stupid face.

His eyes roamed my sweaty, slightly red face and he slowly pulled his hand from my panties.

Spencer then turned back to his plate and picked up the last bit of his dinner roll that was left. He placed it in his mouth, along with the tips of his fingers that were just in my panties. He pushed the roll farther in his mouth so that his fingers were halfway in. Then he slowly withdrew them, his lips never leaving those damn fingers.

“Mmm Rossi,” Spencer began, turning away from me and to the man he called, “These rolls are really good. Did you make them yourself? I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything like it.”

This time I choked on my own saliva. So of course, I had a coughing fit that drew everyone’s attention to me.

“Oh my gosh, (Y/N) are you okay? Take a sip of water!” Penelope told me in honest concern for my well being.

I finished coughing and took a long gulp from my glass. I only wished it was whiskey instead of water right now.

“I’m okay, really,” I said, holding my hands up in front of me, “Just... swallowed my food too fast.”

This seemed to satisfy everyone so they all turned back to each other, Spencer’s comment about the rolls forgotten.

“That’s what you get for calling me those mean names, princess,” Spencer murmured next to me.

I stayed silent in response. Two could play at this game.

Without hesitation, I placed my hand against his crotch. And it was... something. I’m not sure if he was that hard or just- that big. Either way, my heart skipped a beat. But I didn’t let that stop me.

I slipped my hand beneath the waistband of his pants and made contact with what I was looking for. I felt him twitch under my touch, but his face gave nothing away to the others at the table.

So I started working. Tracing the length of what I could reach, and rubbing along his shaft with precision.

He took in a sharp breath as I made my way closer to the tip, and he quickly cut a glance my way.

I paid him no mind as I continued, making sure to eat off my plate like normal so as not to draw suspicion. Looking around, I could see that most people were finishing up their food, so I didn’t really have a lot of time left. I started going faster, putting more pressure onto his dick as I went. 

When I looked up to check the scene, I saw Spencer gripping his fork with white knuckles. He was holding on for dear life. Good. 

It was then that a few people began to excuse themselves from the table to go mingle some more before dessert. Shit. I had to hurry. 

I kept picking up speed, probably too much to be honest. But it worked. Spencer stiffened under my touch and a warm, wet spot was now forming in his pants, coating my fingers. He cleared his throat to try and drown out the noise he wanted so badly to make instead. 

I took a deep breath, satisfied with my work, and slowly removed my hand from his pants. It was just us, Penelope, and my uncle left at the table. They were in the middle of a conversation anyway. Luck was on my side tonight.

Spencer excused himself in a hurry, and I waited a few minutes before doing the same. I had no idea where he went, so I just had to walk around and find him somehow. We had unfinished business. 

A few minutes went by of me searching the halls, hopefully not drawing attention to myself. And then I found him, leaning against a wall and looking out the window in front of him. 

When I approached him, I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could get any words out, he grabbed my wrist roughly and pulled me into a closet. Spencer shut the door quietly behind us, though I could tell that he wanted to slam it. Uh oh.

“What the hell was that?” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“I was just playing along! Isn’t that what we wanted to do from the beginning?”

Spencer ran a hand through his hair. Oh, how I wanted to do the same thing.

“Obviously. I’ve been wanting to fuck you senseless since I laid eyes on you.”

My heart skipped a beat and the pulse suddenly went down into my core instead.

“Well do it then,” I murmured while gripping onto his forearms. There was enough space in this closet for many different positions. I just wanted to be as close to him as possible.

“I don’t know if you know what you’re getting yourself into,” Spencer groaned while palming my ass roughly.

“Mmm, I don’t care. I’m on the pill, by the way. So I wanna feel you. All of you. Although I have a pretty strong feeling you’d get off on putting a baby in me, Doctor,” I whispered into his ear before pressing my chest against his. I felt his breathing stop for a split second.

“Shut up,” he growled. It seems I pushed a button.

“Make me.”

Without a word and without hesitation, Spencer shoved me against the wall behind me and locked his mouth onto mine.

It was better than I could’ve imagined. And I had imagined it a lot over the course of tonight.

His tongue immediately shoved past the barrier of my lips and teeth, finding shelter in my mouth. The groans that came from him could have undone me right there, so I held onto his shoulders for dear life. His hands found his way to my ass, and he pushed me against his erection. His very large, very intimidating erection. And then all too soon, he pulled away, a string of saliva and swollen lips the only evidence of what had just happened.

“Who said you were allowed to tease me, huh? You've been pushing my buttons all night, and now look at you. A writhing mess underneath me. Such a needy little thing, aren't you?"

I shivered as his words reached my ears. So he had noticed I was already falling apart once again.

“God,” he moaned into my neck as he pushed me against his dick.

I couldn’t help myself- I moaned with him. The friction of him against my pulsing core was almost too much to handle.

“You sound so good,” he growled in my ear.

We stopped suddenly when footsteps could be heard nearby. I glanced at Spencer in a panic and started to move away from him. But before I could, he hastily shoved his hand over my mouth.

"Oh no, we're not stopping. Not when it’s getting this good. So you better be quiet or else everyone will know what a naughty little slut you are. Understand?"

I whimpered against his fingers and nodded at him. He gave me a wicked smile in return.

"Good girl. Now take off your panties and wrap your legs around me so I can feel just how tight your cunt really is. I have a feeling my dick will feel a lot better inside you rather than my fingers.”

With shaking hands, I slid my panties off and kicked them away.

Spencer must have enjoyed what I did because he licked his lips eagerly, never breaking his gaze towards me. Before I made my way back over to him, I couldn’t help but notice how hard he already was. This wouldn’t take long. Less of a chance we would get caught, thankfully. 

He pulled down his pants and boxers roughly, quickly stepping out of them like I had done moments ago. He made no motion to remove the clothes on his top half, solidifying the thought that this would be over quickly. How bittersweet. 

Without another word, I practically jumped into his arms, our mouths meeting immediately and moving against the other ferociously. But all of a sudden, he pulled away, and it pissed me off more than it should have. 

When I saw why he did though, I wasn’t angry anymore. 

He had picked up the belt he had been wearing from the floor, and was holding it in front of me with a dangerous look in his eye. 

“I don’t trust you to be quiet. Open,” Spencer said in a gravelly huff. 

I did as he asked without hesitation, and he roughly shoved the leather belt into my mouth, commanding me to bite down on it. 

Oh shit.

Without missing a beat, he picked me up and laid me down on the floor, extremely gently compared to how he had previously put the belt in my mouth. 

“Good thing you’re already so wet,” Spencer purred, looking down at my exposed core. “Otherwise, this might hurt a little. We don’t have a lot of time.”

Unfortunately, it did still hurt. But God, did it hurt so good. 

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[forever-rogue]

Hi!

Happy New Year! 😃 There’s so many to choose from but as soon as I saw this one, I knew it was the one I wanted to pick.

Prompt #35 from Prompt List #2 - Frankie Morales

Thank you!

#35: “About the baby...it’s yours.”

Ohhh, this is inch resting! Enjoy!

Frankie Morales x Reader ; warnings: pregnancy (and any and all things related to it), mentions of sex, drinking, smooches.

Frankie Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

“No,” you sighed in frustration as you looked at the small white stick in your hands. It was a simple pregnancy test, but right now it felt like a ticking time bomb. You read over the singular word in frustration before tossing it onto the floor and watching as it skidded to a stop next to the bathtub. 

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. 

It couldn’t be right though, surely it had to be a false positive. But then...what about all the rest of the tests you had taken? All nine others were lined up on the counter, a testament to how determined you were to find out that you weren’t pregnant. But...could ten tests really be lying? What were the odds that all of them were false positives?

“Shit,” in a burst of anger you tossed them all off the counter and onto the floor, tears already running down your cheeks as you sank to the floor in frustration. How could this have happened? You were so careful every other time; you were on birth control and always made sure to have your partners use a condom. And yet...here you were. Pregnant and alone, crying on your bathroom floor. 

You pulled your knees up to your chest as you decided to get all your tears out then and there before making a plan. One way or another, something was going to need to happen - and as soon as possible hopefully. 

But then, as you sat there, crying and ignoring the incessant notifications on your going off on your phone, it hit you. 

Frankie. Francisco Morales. He’d been the last person you had sex with. 

Holy shit. No - there was no way. You couldn't be pregnant by your best friend that you'd secretly loved for years and had a drunken one night stand with. Absolutely not. Nope...that would be...the worst thing in the eternity of the universe. Some sort of vile joke that the universe would be playing on both of you. It couldn’t be him...no, no, no.

But...he was the last person you'd had sex with. And before then...it had been months since anyone else. Unless there was some sort of divine intervention on behalf of your uterus and you were some sort of abstinent Mary, Frankie Morales was the father of your baby. 

The baby - not your baby. Rather, the small peanut inside of you. Referring to it as anything else was too...real. It was just a baby - a maybe baby. One you weren’t even sure you’d keep, wanted, or would tell Frankie about. But...shit. You couldn’t not. It would come out somehow, if not now, then later, in a moment of indiscretion, or another drunken evening. You had to tell him...even if it was just to let him know what happened before you made some sort of decision. 

But what the hell were you supposed to tell him? Oh by the way, remember when we had sex two months ago? Yeah, well, I’m pregnant. 

You must have forgotten to take your birth control, and neither of you must have had enough sense to remember a condom. Or one of the two failed...or both. Either way it was a perfect storm that resulted in the worst possibility.

The worst part of all? 

Despite the upset and sheer terror you felt, there was a small part of you that wasn’t...entirely devastated. You’d never given much thought to children, having been perpetually single for the better part of the last decade, and hopelessly in love with your best friend. If there was a man that you wouldn't have minded children with, it would have been Frankie. He was a good man, always trying to be better, trying his best, and despite all the shit he’d been through in life, he still managed to have a soft, loving heart. He would have made a good father, that much you knew. 

But shit. He was only your best friend, and unlike you, he wasn’t deep in love. Would he even want a baby? A child he’d have what - half custody of while you had the other? It would never work, it wasn’t meant to be...it just...no. There was no way in hell this was going to work out. 

With that thought in your mind, you rested your head on your knees, crying and shaking as you tried to wrap your head around it all. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Hey,” you felt a soft touch on your arm as you heard your name being gently called, “hey, Bee...wake up.”

You opened your eyes, blinking away the dried tears and bleariness as you took in the face looking back down at you with a gentle smile. Momentarily forgetting your predicament, you offered him a smile of your own as he held out his hand to help you up to your feet. 

“Frankie,” you gave him a curious look, “what are you doing here? It’s not movie night or anything.”

“I’ve been calling and texting,” he nodded in the direction of your discarded phone, which was blinking at you with notifications, “you didn’t answer and I got worried. It’s not like you. I wanted to see if you were up for getting a drink tonight? The brewery’s got a new ale out.”

“I...umm,” you quickly remember your situation as a sense of panic set into your bones. The tests and discarded boxes were still all over the floor, one right next to your phone. He had to have seen them. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you nodded lightly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Frankie.”

“Yeah,” he said as he gave everything the once over. Another worry suddenly crossed your mind; you’d been drinking the last two months. Granted it hadn’t been anything crazy, just a beer here and there and a glass of wine on occasion, but still. Shit. He cleared his throat awkwardly as you scurried around to pick everything up. Ever the gentleman, he stepped into help, pausing slightly when he noticed all the positive tests, “you...ugh...you’re pregnant?”

“I-I guess,” you offered him the most neutral look you could muster up, “I just ugh...found out. It’s a bit of a surprise to me too.”

“Oh...you don’t…” he swallowed thickly as he nodded, more to himself than anything else as wished the floor would open up and swallow you whole, “do you…”

“I don’t know a lot,” you cut him off before he could continue his line of questioning, “i didn’t really know I was...pregnant until I missed my period this month. I-I-I thought last month was a fluke but two months in a row is disconcerting. So I panicked and got some tests.”

“Oh,” his eyes widened as you could practically hear the gears turning in his head as you realized what you said. You might as well have told him then and there, “I thought you were…”

“I am,” you tried to cover up your own tracks, “I’m on birth control, so I’m also a little...surprised. I’m trying to keep calm, but in all honesty I’m freaking out.”

“It’s okay, Bee,” he promised softly as he gently put his hand on your cheek, brushing his thumb over your cheek. It was hard not to melt into his touch and confess everything then and there, “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whatever support you want, I’m here, every step of the way.”

“Frankie...I-I don’t know what to say…” your lip trembled with effort as you tried not to break down in a fit of tears again. It would be better to get it out in the open now and to just say it and let him know and -

“Either I get to be the best fun uncle, or...I’ll be here for you either way,” he insisted with a smile small before pulling you into a gentle, warm hug. You were stunned into silence, but decided to let things happen, wrapping your own arms around his waist as you buried your head in his chest. 

You wouldn’t tell him now. But soon. You needed to. For your sake as well as his own.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was an odd feeling, walking out of the doctor’s office, clutching a stack of papers with more information than you knew what to do with, including a set of grainy black and white images. You’d cried - as you’d often been doing lately - but somehow you weren’t upset. It had been about two weeks since your surprise discovery, and with each passing day, it became more real. 

You were still confused, more than you had ever been, but somehow you’d grown attached to the idea of the little bean that was inside of you. It was scary, more than anything else in life ever had been, but you...just...it was a lot. 

No you just needed to tell Frankie. 

It seemed like every time you’d tried, something or someone came up and interrupted, pulling his attention away or making it a most inopportune moment. But...shit. You couldn’t let this go much longer.

You’d tell him. Tonight. There was no doubt in your mind it was time to do it and then the pieces could fall wherever they landed and you’d figure it out. Keeping it from him just wouldn’t be fair, and you couldn’t imagine a world where you had this baby and Frankie only thought of himself of an uncle.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you walked into your apartment, ready to sit down and relax - and get yourself hyped to tell Frankie -  before he came over for your weekly movie night. 

But when you got in, your heart plummeted when you saw Frankie already in the kitchen, messing around with some snacks. Shit, shit, shit. He wasn’t supposed to be there for at least another two hours. 

“Bee,” he grinned at you when spotted you, excitedly pointing at the various treats he was setting out, “you’re just in time!”

“And you’re early,” you tried to make light of it as you walked in and set everything down on the table, “I wasn’t expecting you for a while.”

“I know,” he grinned with a wink, “but I knew you’d be home soon, and wanted to do this for you. You’re dealing with a lot, and I just want to help however I can. How did it go? Did you get more information...what am I saying? Of course you did...how was it?”

“It was a lot,” you admitted, just like everything right now, “the doctor was really helpful and gave me so much information. But..ugh...the ba - it’s fine right now.”

“The baby?” he asked as you nodded, setting down the stack of papers, letting the sonogram images land on top, “you can call it a baby, Bee!”

“I know,” you huffed lightly with laughter at yourself, “it just...makes it feel so real. Calling it a baby. I dunno.”

“Bee’s having a baby...Baby Bee,” he said excitedly as he looked over your stack of papers, his soft brown eyes landing on the pictures, “maybe...a maybe Baby Bee…”

Before you could stop him, he reached for the sheet of images, bringing it up to his face as he furrowed his brows to study them closely. A small smile tugged on the corners of his mouth as he looked at them, and you couldn’t help but grin back at him. You were so in love with this man, it was almost painful sometimes. And you here you were, having his baby and he didn’t know, he wasn’t yours...that bad it all that much harder. Before you knew it, tears were running down your cheeks, and a sniffle escaped your lips.

“Umm, F-Frankie…: you whispered softly as he looked at you with a concerned expression, “about the baby...i-i-it’s...it’s yours.”

He stiffened for a moment, a million different expressions crossing his features as he looked between you and the sonograms and back at you. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, all he could manage was a small, “what?”

“I-I know I should have told you sooner, right when I found out and you came in,” you were crying now, a blubbering mess, “I just couldn’t do it...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this...you’re the only one I’ve been with in almost a year and I-I-I know it was a one night drunken thing, and I thought we were careful but this...just happened. I’m so sorry, Frankie.”

“It’s mine?” he asked softly as you nodded, watching as his eyes flicked to your still non-existent bump, “we’re having a baby? Together?”

“I-I know this isn’t what anything we expected,” you wiped at your eyes, “I-I don’t expect you to help or have anything to do with it, but I...I want to keep it…”

Frankie inhaled and exhaled deeply, setting the images back down before turning his attention to you. His gaze was on your face, eyes soft as ever before he closed the small distance between your bodies. Before you could ask what he was doing, his hands found your face, touching it tenderly for a few moments, almost as if he was asking you for permission, which you readily granted, before crashing his lips onto yours and kissing you deeply. 

And it felt so...perfect. So natural as his arms wrapped around your waist and you put yours around his neck and held him close. He didn’t let you go, reluctant to part his lips from yours for even a moment, only doing so when you were left dizzy and breathless. 

“I love you, Bee,” he whispered softly, chasing your lips with his own, “always you, for so long. It wasn’t supposed to be a one night stand, I just got so foolish and scared…”

“I love you, Francisco,” you promised, “you’ve been it for me for so long. I never thought…I never thought you would love me back. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be loved by you.”

“You’ve been loved by me for so long,” he promised, “you never had to wonder. I should have told you sooner.”

“Now is good,” you grinned at him, your head spinning with everything that was going on, “now is perfect.”

“Bee,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, then your cheeks, stopping at your lips, “and Baby Bee. I couldn’t ask for anything better. I am so in love with you.”

“I love you more than anything,” you ran a hand through his dark locks, a few tears already spilling down your cheeks again. He beamed at you, gently wiping them away, “but, Frankie...you’re okay...with the baby? Keeping the baby?”

“Yes,” he whispered softly, his own eyes glistening with tears as he nodded, “yes. I want this...I’ve always wanted this. I want everything with you - you and only you.”

“Francisco…” you smiled, and just like that, you lit up his entire world, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he nuzzled his nose against yours as he breathed you in, “my Bee and Baby Bee. What more could I ever ask for?

»»————-　♡　————-««

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