#writing is just a hobby.. as the course im in at college is different..

[mako-neexu]

my struggle with writing english is that i actually dont know english it just has to sound "not bad" to my ears because its only my second languge theasurus dot com synonyms my beloved always save me even then i die over minor typo and my struggle with translating is to match the tone and get to know the nuances and how the character would say it in english so it doesnt sound cringe because sometimes direct translation of the words doesnt translate well to what the character is saying so sometimes im at a loss especially when i need to also improve english voacb (have more knowledge of the context like studying buddhism for the sake of translating one speech bubble) too like why is language so hard haha [eats bathroom tissue paper]

[milascorner]

hi this is graduating soon anon (hopefully, fingers crossed lol), but yes, im also hopefully graduating in the summer haha! so i think we should be graduating around a similar time. i finally have time to play more ifs. that 10,0000 word dissertation i think was the most intensive thing ive ever written. like ive written short stories that are around 50,0000 words but they were way easier to write than my essays and dissertations lmao. i will be for sure rereading golden because its my favourite if of all time and all the ros are so well written. i adore them all. you're such a great writer. i will also be replaying bdsi of course, its so good and i love gang stories and the familiarity that comes with the london setting (the massive waterstones in london is my favourite thing ever lmao) . speaking of ifs, i was wondering if you had any favourite genres you like to play. do you have a type of RO or trope that you usually catches your eye when looking for what ro/character to romance during playthroughs? and last but not least have u played infamous? its so good, ive been having so much brainrot over it rn. i highly recommend it. :))

Hello! Please do message when you're graduating (obviously not when you're like on stage, but on the day when you get any time) so I can congratulate you then too.

Omg, you're totally right! As soon as my dissertation was submitted, I thought 'writing an if is way easier than this'! Fiction is just so much easier to write overall, 50,000 words of fiction > 10,000 word dissertation any day.

It's wild to me that anyone has Golden as their favourite if: the stupid game with its stupid characters that I created, and people like it — very, very crazy, yet so so heartwarming!! And BDSI, that if has a special place in my heart still even though it's a hobby project.

On the topic of London, I'm hoping to go soon so I definitely want to check out the big Waterstones. I've been to Foyles and I loved it there!

For ifs, I think slice-of-life is my favourite — I think I like the escape of writing about a supernatural world which I do with Golden already. I always love mystery, so if ifs have that too, then I'm a fan. Found family is a top-tier trope and it's my favourite!

For type of ros: I'm a sucker for enemies/rivals to lovers, I will take pick that every time for at least the first playthrough. But if the other romances with a different trope catches my eyes, then I'm for it too.

Yes! I have played Infamous by @amyreads, I've already messaged Amy at least twice like "hi, I love your if!", so I've fangirled over it too. Definitely a favourite.

I also highly recommend College Tennis: Origin Story by @allieebobo. It's a slice-of-life, university, sport if where you're a student-athlete and you navigate tennis, uni, and friendships/romances — it's a favourite if of mine too.

And if you're into gangs, then I think you'd like Novaturient by @kalorphic. It's a spy if full of action, a great customisable mc, and six ros to pick from to romance! Amazing, amazing stuff, and of course a fave.

[forlorn-crows]

hey! i'm really not a writer but i have to take a class on it next year and i'm really scared by it, so i'm trying to get opinions and whatnot from people who do write. (that's why you might see this ask in a lot of authors' inboxes heh) i'm wondering if there's anything that helps you get in the mood to write, if there's anything that causes/makes worse a writer's block, if you find it easier to write when given a prompt or if you prefer to make things up completely, if you prefer writing a story or more of an essay, how long does it take you to finish something and how do you know it's finished? and i know a lot of these could be answered with "it depends" but please avoid saying that if you can! thank you for helping me!

there's two perspectives i have here: one is writing in the context of college courses, and two is writing for pleasure.

when i wrote essays in college, i would always need a quiet place to go, or a place where conversations wouldn't be distracting. the 3rd floor of the library. a study cubby. starbucks at 4pm. but i would ALWAYS have instrumental music in my headphones. lofi. writing music playlists on youtube. classical. whatever made me feel 'scholarly' and didn't have words. that was my go to. and i think doing that same routine, getting my little drinks and always AFTER i had eaten was key to at least having some semblance of motivation to get my shit done. cause i had to write a LOT. all the time. different lengths of things too; 500 words to full length papers.

with school, the motivation was "i have to get it done by x date". and im a perfectionist, so it took me a looooong time to write the hard stuff. especially since i had to research as well. loooong time to gather sources before i actually did any writing, loooong time sorting and culling those sources, looooong time stringing them together to make them 'perfect'. i self inflict a lot of struggle, but thats how my brain functions to get the outcomes i did (and the grades I did).

I did do some creative writing in college, mostly poetry. for that, there were certainly deadlines motivating me, but the projects got my creative side flowing a bit more. often times, i would have to stop to jot something down while i was going about my day, because i knew i would forget it later. but, a lot of the same things can be said about my college creative writing; i slaved over the things until they were perfect, until they finally looked 'right' to me. and that takes a lot of time, personally. i hated procrastinating but sometimes you really do write better under pressure.

in school, i needed clear cut prompts/requirements for my long form work. i couldn't function without them, because i always outlined like crazy. it helped organize and cull my crazy thoughts.

now, with personal writing (which i 99% fanfiction currently), it can be hit or miss. sometimes, i need someone else's ideas to get me going. other times, im plagued by horny visions during work and i have to jot them down in my phone until i can write them out later. and sometimes i lose motivation by then, which sucks.

sometimes, it takes me a long time to finish stories. whether that be due to length, or simply because i took my time writing it little by little. I can crank out a full length fic in 2 days if im really feeling it, or it make take an entire week to write 1k words. it just depends on how into writing and into the idea i am.

lately, i have to go with whatever sparks my interest in order to write. i find its no fun to try and force yourself to write for pleasure, bc it just becomes a chore then. writing as a hobby is supposed to be fun, it is not supposed to consume you (wise words that crow does not follow a lot of times).

my advice for school is to keep track of your deadlines. start earlier than you need to for big projects, especially if you have an idea you really want to role with. dont be afraid to brainstorm with your teachers, they're your resource for stuff like that. they can help steer you in the right direction if you're stuck. carve out time to write and double down on it. take breaks when you need to, of course, but try to stay on task whenever possible.

my advice for personal writing is DO NOT FORCE IT. if you get inspired by something, and feel the need to write, and you can write at that moment, do it. those words will come like no other. second best thing is to write it down to visit later. i also think its important to remember you do not have to write every idea you ever think of, even if its a really good idea! its okay to have ideas that you dont do anything with.

overall advice, dont feel like you have to edit as you go. if you're unsure of your skills as a writer, just get down the ideas onto paper. thats the first step. write it how you might tell a story to a friend. all the fancy word choice and formatting can be done later. and know that you dont have to be the most seasoned writer to be a good writer. skills take time to develop. and the class may be boring at times. but its to help you learn, so dont fret! its okay to be scared at first.

let me know if you have any other questions, i have a lot under my belt, believe me!

[aris-ink]

[In taeyang singing meme voice]

Ari~, I miss you so muUuUch~

Im glad to hear you are doing good🐻, the other day a saw this video of how famous people always say therapy doesn't work for them and what actually helps them is focusing on their hobbies/work (like ariana grande or Taylor swift have said in some occasions) but the girl in the video explain that thats basically what therapy it's for, that they had the privilege for x reasons from a young age to develop and find a way/place where they can express themselves freely and deal with emotions in a healthy manner, which is one of the goals of therapy . Then reading your update and made me think of that, maybe I'm reaching Lmao but knowing you are thinking about writing it's honestly amazing, like finding the energy once again to do something you enjoy.( I'm not trying to asume anything, sorry if this message feels intrusive.)

I Also wish there was some way to get motivated instantly, I been neglecting my college work for two weeks now and Idk how to get on track again haha, will need some tips on how to stop procrastinating bc it's kind of addictive.

Anyway, I'm happy to hear from you❤️.

-😽

HI ANGEL <3 I missed you too! I'm so happy to hear from you 💕🫂

that's very interesting 🤔 art is definitely one of the best and healthiest ways to express yourself and work through your thoughts and emotions, I can't imagine what I would do without writing tbh 😭 but also I really think it depends on the kind of therapy you need? sometimes self expression is only a part of it. apart from talking about your problems (which can be done through art), therapy is also there to teach you how to cope with stress, with your disorders and illnesses, and live life to the fullest despite being sick, and that is what I am aiming for ❤️ of course everyone is different and it might not work the same way for different people ❤️ however, at this point in my life, after last year especially, I really don't know how to function like a healthy person anymore and I need to relearn everything LMAO 😭 so I'm happy with where I am now, and I'm glad I made this choice 💕 it's hard, but it's my only option 🥹

not at all! ❤️ nothing about this message is intrusive, you're always free to speak your thoughts and ask questions 🫂 thank you so much baby <3

I'm so sorry to hear about your college work, that sucks so much 😭 take it slow! idk how about you, but what kills my attempts at doing anything is perfectionism 💀 it feels like there is just no point doing a task if I can't complete all of it, or do it perfectly. don't listen to your brain if it ever does that, it's just being mean and lying to you 😭 take it little by little, and make sure to rest and eat well! I believe in you and I'm rooting for you, step by little step baby 💕

sending you so much love <3

[lovelytsunoda]

lucky people // mick schumacher

summary: the adventures of bookworm-youtuber y/n and her adorable f1 driver boyfriend mick

(shameless little plug for my own underused and somewhat forgotten about book-blr @/ cheerful-chamomile-pages)

dedicated to @flannel-cures and @paddockbunny who helped me make the final decision on whether this would be about mick or charles : )

i can see them meeting through gina (best friends brother trope anybody)

she was already decently popular on the bookworm side of youtube without mick, but once she was spotted attending a few events on the german's arm, she instantly became more interesting to a whole different crowd

obviously she's trying to keep her hobby (and almost possibly maybe side hustle) and her love life apart, but they truly are the cutest couple on the internet

she's sitting in her cute little library corner , streaming her new video live for some of her subscribers before she edits it and posts it properly to youtube.

"so i hate calling it a tbr because that just adds so much pressure and the way college is going for me right now guys, i genuinely have no idea if i will make it through all of these."

"so the first one is 'as good as dead' by holly jackson. i've been working my way through this series for a while and i finally bought this one a few months ago but life got busy and i just didn't get around to it but im really excited. this one is the grand conclusion to the good girls guide to murder trilogy and i can't wait to read about pip and ravi one last time."

and cue angie bounding into the room, cutting in front of the camera and knocking the book out of her hands as she pounces on y/n

mick is laughing in the background, super self conscious about appearing on the camera.

the chat goes MENTAL

"is that angie? does this mean mick is home?" "show mick!"

"mick," she says with a laugh, scratching angie behind the ears and looking up at the driver. "the fans want to see you."

"is that okay?" mick asks before moving further into the room, passing her the mug of hot chocolate that he had been planning on just leaving on the IKEA end table

"of course." she moves over on the carpet to make more room. "you can hold my stack of books."

"oh, great." he jokes as she passes him the stack, pressing a kiss to his cheek

"this is my boyfriend, mick. he's an angel on earth and he's going to help me film the rest of this."

cue mick shyly waving at the camera as y/n grabs one of the books from the top of the stack

"you already know that i will read anything that lauren asher writes. i have one book left in the dirty air series that i still need to finish, and this one is all about santiago, who was introduced as noah's teammate and mayas brother in the beginning of the series. i truly don't want this series to end, but this book includes grumpy x sunshine and fake dating, so im very excited to see what santi and chloe bring to the dirty air universe."

and mick is just watching her with this completely lovestruck expression

the chat goes MENTAL talking about how cute the couple is and how they all wish they had a mick (me too besties)

he's definitely present in the next video, entitled "my boyfriend and i go book shopping"

which is more like y/n just dragging mick around barnes and noble while she prepares to buy more books than she could afford (especially since she already has so many books at home)

mick is helping her look, trying to pick up books he thinks she'd like or has heard her talk about before

"babe, this book is basically porn. there's literally a half dressed cop on the front cover."

"i would have thought that the fact that it's called 'frisk me' would have given it away. the second one is worse, it's called 'cuff me'."

"i worry for your mental state sometimes, schatzi."

"what else am i supposed to do while you're gone, baby?"

that line was edited out of the final version

like the gentleman that he is, mick pays for all of the books

*cue the entire comment section swooning*

they do one video called "my boyfriend guesses the plot of my books based solely on the contents of the front cover"

"uhm im gonna take a wild guess and say that one's about death of some kind. maybe a murder?"

"that one's porn. one hundred percent. there's a fully shirtless man with a smolder and bad tattoos on the front cover. wait, there's a formula one car as well? oh dear god, this isn't what your version looks like!"

"because i bought the special editions with the pretty covers, baby. and this one does have a plot. this one made me cry, and you had to hold me for like an hour and a half while i recovered."

he definitely bought her a copy of her favorite romance book for their anniversary and went through and annotated it

paying special attention to all of the smutty parts that he wants to recreate

buddy reads with mick where they read the same book and then film a video where they both review it

the cutest couple on bookstagram

BONUS MATERIAL:

[lostmotherhood]

I don’t dream of a career anymore… or some sort of vocation…

Slowly over the course of my life I stopped dreaming… the last I can recall I wanted to be an author in high school. I wrote a few books technically speaking. (Lost about half of them in the last 17 odd years.) Wrote a bunch of poetry too, something like 200 pages worth. My favorite class was English, didn’t overly care for my teacher but enjoyed the class. Enjoyed it in the one semester of college I completed, too. I love writing and reading. Have for a long time. I don’t do them very much anymore, not surprised though.

Im not really sure why. Or why I lost the dream of being an author. I mean, I remember as a little kid having fleeting moments of dream jobs. Ice skating is one of the few I can recall. Writing was the only thing that stuck for any period of time. But I never truly pursued it, or anything else really.

I did gymnastics around 4, that didn’t last long. Vaguely remember being deathly afraid of the bars, no confidence that I could do any of it. I bowled with mom around the same time, only one season from what I can tell. Basketball and track in fourth grade. Violin in fifth grade, that I wanted to be able to fiddle, but when explained what I’d have to do with my fingers I didn’t even try. Just gave up and told myself I couldn’t do it. Sixth and seventh grade I played field hockey, ended up the goalie. From what I can remember I enjoyed it. Loads of gear to protect my ass, smallish goal to cover, more defense. I had a decent coach too, which helped it carry over two years. But that fell off too. I’ve told myself it was because of how clique-y teenage girls were. I’d guess it was more that I lacked self confidence to hold my own in a group. That was the last sport or instrument I did.

Pretty clear pattern of lack of self confidence and self esteem. Writing, just as a hobby, low standards and low pressure. Perfect, but that didn’t go anywhere either. I also wonder if that really was a dream, or did I fall into it because it’s a single person activity and didn’t create external pressure for me. I’ve been complimented in the past on my writing skill, nothing out of this world, but compliments none the less. So I have some talent with it at least.

Some days, I wonder what would have become of me if I had just had different parents raising me. No genetic difference, only the environment and parents. Is it really worth it to wonder though? Time wasted on something that can’t be changed? I suppose it could be a possible story line… LOL!

Hopefully, getting this down will help me process somewhere in my subconscious. I’m really tired of all these parts not being on the same page, or even in the same country… a little harmony here and there would be awesome. 💜

[echonk3]

Mystreet Rework: PDH S1 Episode 3+4

Episode 3:

-When Ivy is like "he's mine! he just doesn't know it!" Aph is like "im sorry what-" bc she actually realizes that this is weird (you cannot tell me that Sylvanna didn't give her a course on red flags)

-shes also less affected by the potato thing because i feel like whenever she failed at something in a game or overlooked something in a story shes like "im a stupid potato for not noticing this" so she's kinda used to it

-she doesnt take a selfie but does talk to FC

-she doesn't talk about Ivy outside of being like "yeahhh theres this annoying girl but still not as annoying as that one boss from *game*" FC still advises her to tell the teacher if she gets worse

-Dante is now a junior

-Note: the classes aren't all mixed with different years. There are some classes that freshman and sophomore are mixed, some classes that junior and senior are mixed (like certain electives), some classes with just one year (like math) and some classes with all grades (like werewolf class since it works with werewolves of all years)

-Travis is a bit more nervous without Dante

-Travis still has french and i feel like Aph would be his study buddy despite barely knowing any french

-Garroth and Laurance aren't in her creative writing class but she ends up sitting next to Kawaii~Chan

-Note: im keeping her name as Kawaii~Chan in universe since i feel like it fits with her changing her persona to stand out though she is commonly referred to as KC in-universe and by me

-KC is still bubbly but her personality is still a tiny bit toned down

-KC is actually a good writer, mainly writing romance

-KC and Aph talk about small things like hobbies and we get a small info bit about Meif'wa

-Zane actually sits in front of them (he writes darker things and has been using it as an outlet for awhile)

-Aph doesn't learn Laurance's name and with witchcraft this is a shared years class. more advanced witchcraft classes are offered at local colleges and the basics are at the high school

-she gets to see the argument with Katelyn and Lucinda who get detention

-also since Lucinda probably took witchcraft basics in her first year, and due to her stellar grades she's there as an assistant to help, especially since witchcraft and teenagers sometimes don't mix well together

Summed up: Aph can see some red flags with Ivy and is more unfazed by her, KC meets Aph, KC and Zane are in creative writing with Aph and the former two are actually decent writers, Katelyn and Lucinda get detention

Episode 4:

-we still get the Gene warning

-since Ivy is now a Junior to fit with the others' ages being aged up Aph doesn't get detention, and even if she was she still wouldn't get detention because she never saw Aph talking to Garroth

-and because Aph doesn't have detention part of this episode is cut

-Aph is basically a bit of a nervous wreck during gym, but most of it was just explaining things

-but she does go to the first anime club meeting (which is noted that their vice president is missing because he's supervising detention as a teachers aid)

-idk whos there yet but she just gets to talk to a few people about anime and such

-you cannot tell me Aaron wouldn't sneak his phone to talk to Shu a bit because sleeping teacher and two arguing girls

-he does kinda get involved with Katelyn and Lucinda's argument at one point unwillingly before the teacher aid dissolves it

-Laurance does find her after the meeting on account of being in a different club and they walk home together, with her getting his name and his number

-Sylvanna is like "is that a boy???" though she is less strict in terms of boys here

Summed up: Aph doesn't get detention, she goes to anime club and she and Laurance do learn each others names and get each others numbers

[nkhrchuwuya]

✨ aaa an account i follow shared your event and i wanna say congratulations!! i hope you dont mind me requesting this since i’ve only just recently followed you :)

im a 19 year old female (but i use any pronouns) with dyed ginger upper back length hair and blonde/platinum blonde peekaboo highlights and the same colour curtain bangs! im 5'3, ivory skin tone, freckles on my nose during warmer and sunny days. i have dimples. i have heterochromia so one eye is olive green and the other one is brown. my body is hourglass shaped and im bigger in the chest and thigh area. when it comes to my clothing, i dress myself in grunge inspired style, but sometimes i love to go for goblincore or cottagecore dresses!

my mbti is INTP, enneagram 5W4 and im a cancer sun, aquarius moon and capricorn rising. im bisexual with a preference for men and my love languages are quality time and physical touch.

now moving on to my interests and hobbies! in my free time, i enjoy reading. I'm a huge bookworm and i own so many books that i have read, plan to read and haven't even touched yet but collecting books is a passion of mine. my favourite genres of books are romance, mystery and young adult books, but i also have a deep love for classics. i also love drawing and painting (since i went to an art school so all of that was a huge part of my life). going to musems and similar places where you can spend your time and enjoy your surroundings is something i really value and enjoy to do; either alone or with a S.O! i love music a lot too. my spotify playlists all vary from classic rock, heavy metal to classical music which i often love to use for daydreaming when im meant to study for college :D my favourite bands are pink floyd, led zeppelin, fleetwood mac, the beatles and my favourite singer is lana del rey! i love crystals and crystal work and i practice and do tarot and tarot readings often, thats kinda a hobbie of mine :) i study english langauge and teaching at university. i write poems and short stories but am too scared to publish them :)

i think thats everything! so thank you so very much for reading this and thank you so much if you decide to do mine!! good luck with your job and have an amazing day!! <33

hey hey, thank you so much for joining the event! of course i don't mind, welcome to the blog and i hope you enjoy the regular chuuya stuff once we return to regular programming!

chuuya love for you:

absolutely loves the way you look! he is FLOORED all the time with how pretty his s/o is. it's less about being the traditional standard of beautiful- in the sense that yes, he does find you attractive- but just something about your looks takes his breath away. it's on a whole different level. mesmerized simp, this man.

you wouldn't know- unless i told you, like i'm doing right now- but chuuya has this habit of his before you come out of the house with him for a date where he tries to guess what you're wearing. actually he does this all the way back in his penthouse, but he really just wants to guess what kind of way you'll dress up so he can "meet you in the middle." it's a game he sucks at, at first, but then he gets better at eventually.

library. library in the penthouse. want floor to ceiling shelves? yeah. a daybed in the middle of the library shelves? why not. oh wait you'd prefer a swing? no yeah of course. literally build your dream library in your pinterest board and chuuya's going to make it come to reality. he loves being able to be the one to hold the things that make you happy.

he does not run out of questions about your art school. he's nosy as hell about it. he's just so interested in it because he wants to compare the experience with how it was growing up for him homeschooled by the mafia. he's so invested in your stories and your interactions with people because he didn't really have that in his life, and somehow he is living it vicariously through your stories.

is so thankful you're appreciative of art. i headcanon chuuya has a thing for art as well so it's just very nice for him to be able to share it with an s/o. museum visits! art shows! dance recitals! orchestras! he's dragging you EVERYWHERE he can and he loves that you enjoy it as well.

also is very invested in your own art! whether that's your writing or your painting/drawing, he always makes sure to show up and tell you that he adores what you do. whether or not you show it; he adores it because it was made by you.

would want to listen to your expansive playlists on spotify. if you give him access, he's definitely working with it in the background whenever he can on more idle days in the port mafia headquarters. it makes him feel closer to you in a way.

your university tuition's been paid btw. oh you're on a scholarship? great, your tuition for your masters have been paid. what? not studying it yet? no don't worry it's paid should you want it. i promise. nothing to worry about.

overall, i think a really fun relationship really! bathed in art and the quiet kind of excitement you get from watching it, you being with chuuya just makes sense as you can remind him of creature comforts when he's not a port mafia weapon.

[starcherryberry]

ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕤 → 𝕐𝔾 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝕁𝕂 | 𝕄.

→ ❝ With your final semester left of university you expected to go through it easily however an issue with your credits leads you to take Professor Min’s Painting 101 course.❞

☾ Pairing: Professor!Yoongi Painter!Yoongi x Student!Reader x Student!Jungkook (this was suppose to be a yoongi x reader but somehow my mind wandered and jungkook came in lmao it be like that sometimes)

☾ Type: Poly!Relationship (literally you won’t see it until like the ending but oops)

☾ Genre: Smut  ☆  Angst  ☆  Fluff

☾ Word Count: 7.3k

↠ Warnings: there is an age gap between all characters involved, if you are not comfortable with that please refrain from reading. Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Jungkook, Big Cock!Yoongi, Big Cock!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, fingering, Public Sex in classroom, Body Worship (mainly JK), cockwarming (sort of not really but like for a few mins) unprotected sex (jeez many times someone wrap their doodles please)

✉ Song Recommendations: (I love kdrama osts don’t hate me, also these are all spotify links so use youtube if you don’t have it) (Legit none of these fit the tone of the fic I just luv to recommend sht hehe)

♡ Weki Meki- Love Diamond

♡  Jus2- Take

♡  Junggigo- Too Good

♡  Punch, Glabingo- Beautiful Beautiful (watch hit the top it’s a beautiful kdrama hehe)

✉ Note: Anyways this is my first fic to be uploaded on tumblr! I spent a long time revising & working on this legit I have been staring at my computer for way too long and my eyes hurt because I wanted to get this out. It’s currently 4am as I upload this so if there are errors in the text I apologize in advance. (a girl is tired) Please don’t steal! This fanfic was inspired by the constant Youtube painting lives Yoongi has had. In the midst of writing I added Jungkook because he added more into the story. I was thinking of making this into a Occupation!BTS collection where I can make one for each member with different story lines. Let me know if you want me to do so in the comments below! (okay im talking to much bye)

“Y/N it seems like you still need 4 more credits added to your schedule to be eligible to graduate this semester.” your advisor told you. You honestly didn’t know you still needed more credits to graduate, you never cared to look. So when it came to registering, you signed up for the courses you needed as part of your International Studies degree. 

“What courses are still available for registration?” you asked even though you knew the number of courses to be left must be very few. “Well there is one course open, it’s Professor Min’s Painting 101. He’s a new professor here so it makes sense as to why not many students signed up with him yet.  Even though this course isn’t a requirement for your major, it will definitely cover up for the credits you need Y/N so I suggest you sign up for this. His course runs every Friday at 1 pm-3 pm” your advisor said as she handed you a summary of Professor Min’s course.

You looked over the summary of the course to know what you’re getting yourself into. It was a 101 class so of course, you will be in a class full of freshmen. That wasn’t too exciting however you didn’t mind painting, you are actually quite great at it as a hobby. With one last look at the sheet, you turn to your advisor “Okay I’ll take the course”.

It was finally Friday and today includes your very first class with Professor Min. Unfortunately, you couldn’t go on Rate My Professor to see what kind of teacher was he since he’s new. ‘I swear if he’s an asshole, I’m gonna give him a fucking one’ you thought to yourself. 

You were standing right in front of his classroom, sighing you stepped in to see a couple of students already seated. You tried looking for a seat next to an empty one only to see none, so you had to sit next to someone. Looking around the classroom to observe the students there, you saw a boy with long hair covering his eyes. ‘He looks like someone who won’t speak to me that’s perfect’ you thought as you made your way over and sat next to the boy. 

The boy looked up, staring at you for a bit before speaking “Hello! My name is Jungkook” he said smiling. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, I forgot how friendly these freshmen are on the first day because they have no friends’ you thought. “Uh, h-hi my name is Y/N” you waved slightly at him. 

“Are you majoring in arts too?” he asked, his eyes were wide in a cute way. “No, actually I’m an International Studies major. I’m only taking this course for extra credits to graduate” you smiled at him. “Oh...so you must be older than me” he chuckled. You had, to be honest, his laugh was pretty cute. “Yeah I’m 22 however I’d like to think I was younger” you laughed and Jungkook laughed with you. You and Jungkook continued to talk until class began.

Suddenly the door opened and revealed a man who looked young with long brown and blonde hair. ‘Fuck he’s hot’ you thought as your gaze focused on him walking in. Jungkook leaned in and whispered in your ear “He’s quite the eye candy right” and you nodded. What else were you supposed to say of course you didn’t expect your painting professor to be a man who looked like he was in his mid 20’s. 

Professor Min’s eyes scanned the classroom before stopping on you for a bit. You could feel your face reddening as you felt his gaze on you. ‘Fuck stop thinking like this Y/N’. As you looked up at Professor Min he broke the stare and sat at his desk. “Okay, my name is Professor Min and welcome to my Painting 101 class, this course will include beginner level painting. You will learn the steps to becoming a better painter. I expect each and every one of you to come out of this class with at least more confidence in the arts.” he said as he looked over the class. 

Professor Min then took out his clipboard with the attendance sheet. He checked off each student one by one before hovering over your name tilting his head before looking up at you “Miss Y/N?” You immediately looked up at him “Yes?”. “It says here you’re a senior majoring in International Studies, is there a reason why you’re taking my course?” he asked still having his gaze on you.

“Ah um well I needed an extra course to get enough credits to graduate this semester and your course was the only option. However, I really like to paint as a hobby so I thought this class would be easy to take!” You answered trying to sound like you’re happy with taking the class. Professor Min nodded to your response “I see well welcome to the class as well” he smiled before standing up. 

“So for today’s class, we’ll start easy. Each of you will be doing individual work today by making a simple painting of your choice. I decided to make this a first-day activity because I want to see where you are in terms of levels of performance with painting however expect me to make some comments as this is a college course not a high school course. This will be due in class today. I expect each of you to explain your paintings and why you made them the way they are. You have 2 hours, so please get to your stations, the materials needed are on the carts in the corner.” Professor Min stated as he went back to his desk and started to go over some paperwork while we all began to work.

The two hours of painting were almost up and to be honest you were very satisfied with your painting. You painted two pink roses tied together that were falling from the sky. ‘Professor Min is going to love this’ you smiled at the thought. Jungkook looked over your shoulder to see what you painted and laughed a bit. “That’s definitely very simple but it’s cute Y/N,” he laughed giving you a light pat on the back. You turned to see what Jungkook painted to see that he made a fucking portrait of himself A PORTRAIT! “What the fuck Jungkook how did you get that done within just 2 hours?” you ask as now you felt not so confident in your painting anymore. “Well, I am a visual arts major what did you expect” Jungkook laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Okay the 2 hours are up, I will start walking around the class to individually speak about your paintings. Once I grade them you can leave the classroom. I will post your homework for the week on canvas so make sure to check!” Professor Min said as he started to walk around the classroom to grade students.

Soon enough he reached Jungkook and he had no problem explaining his portrait of himself. “I really love the details of your painting Jungkook, I can see you will probably be one of the more advanced skilled students in our class, your grade for this assignment is an A” Professor Min smiled as he then turned to your painting. Jungkook had packed up his things and waved at you before leaving the classroom. 

It was just you and Professor Min in the classroom so the amount of nervousness you felt was really high. “Alright Y/N explain your painting to me” he asked as he looked directly at you. “Well, as you can see I painted two pink roses tied together that are also in the midst of falling from the sky. I actually didn’t know what to paint at the beginning if I had to be honest but I just let my head flow with whatever came to my mind first which was roses. Roses signify love, I’ve actually never felt that before but pink roses comfort me a lot which is why I painted them falling from the sky. The roses are not within the grass they are falling because they haven’t gotten to me even though I think about them a lot.” You were satisfied with your answer as you smiled at Professor Min.

He nodded and looked at your painting again. “I like the story behind this painting Y/N however I feel like you can add more detail in your painting. Maybe add something else to pair with the flowers or add some scenery behind it so it doesn’t look like a plain sky. I see lots of paintings like this Y/N and it’s too simple for the meaning behind it when other paintings look exactly like this. Try and add more of your other feelings to this. I will give you a C for this however if you take it home and re-do it, I can consider regrading your work” Professor Min said as he wrote down your grade on his clipboard and smiled “I’ll see you next Friday Miss Y/N” he said as he walked back to his desk. 

You just stood there trying to process what the fuck he just told you. It needed more detail, more work? You were sure you added everything you needed that was in your head. ‘I can’t believe this, Jungkook painted himself and got an A, what did I do wrong?’ you thought. “Miss Y/N are you alright?” Professor Min spoke up as he saw you still standing at your station. You snapped out of it and nodded over at him “Y-yeah I was just thinking of something else sorry, have a nice day!” you said as you grabbed your bag and your painting before rushing out the classroom. ‘I hope you choke on your fucking coffee Professor Min’ you thought as soon as you exited.

It was Friday again and throughout the week you worked on revising your painting as well as become close friends with Jungkook. “Did you get your painting done Y/N?” Jungkook asked as you sat down next to him. “Yeah, I was able to finish it hopefully he’s happy with this one even though I don’t understand what I did wrong in the first place,” you said sighing while taking your painting out and setting it next to your desk. “I thought it was fine even though it was simple, I think he’s just messing with you” Jungkook laughed. “If he’s messing with me I will chop his dick off for real,” you said frustrated.“ “I see I hope you don’t plan on doing that to me too” Jungkook laughed again. “As long as you don’t piss me off too much Kook then you’ll be fine” you smiled.

In the midst of talking, Professor Min walked in “Good Afternoon class, I hope you all have your homework ready to hand in. It will be the first thing we talk about in class today”. He said as he walked up to the chalkboard to write the word ‘blue’ on it. Shit shit shit, you forgot to do your homework because you were so focused on trying to redo your painting. Seeing you in distress, Jungkook handed you a sheet of paper and winked at you. You saw a post-it note on it and it said ‘I know you were trying to get your painting done all week so I did your homework for you!’. You smiled at the note before turning to Jungkook to give him a finger heart.

“So today before we start class we will go over the homework. Before I do that please pass them up so I know none of you are going to try adding in answers.” Professor Min said as we all started to hand our homework up. “This week’s homework was to give off your own meaning of the color blue, what does it mean to you and why did you think of that when you see or think of the color blue? Compared to many other colors, blue seems to be misinterpreted the most so I wanted to see what you all thought about it before we go more into observing colors” Professor Min said as he looked over the class before his eyes landed on you. “Miss Y/N what does the color blue mean to you,” he asked.

Trying to remember what you saw in your homework that Jungkook did you tried to answer. “When I see the color blue I think about the feeling of loneliness, it’s a color that for some reason emits sadness. Whenever I am alone and have no one, the color that first comes into mind to describe my feeling is blue,” you said as you exhaled feeling like you were holding your breath because you could still feel Professor Min’s intense gaze on you. He stared at you before responding “That’s an answer I expected, I am sure many of us had similar answers. The color blue definitely has a sort of tie to sadness however blue can have other meanings too, for example, it can symbolize healing.” Professor Min said. 

“Since we have about an hour left, I’d like for you all to go to your stations, and paint a fruit that represents you, the fruit must contain one of the colors we talked about today. Expect that all your paintings in class to represent yourself, because painting expresses the feeling of the artist themselves.” Professor Min said as he smiled.

“This is going to be a piece of cake,” Jungkook said as he turned to his canvas. “Do you think he’s going to correct me on this painting too?” you asked Jungkook while getting your palette out. He shook his head “Nah, come on Y/N this is fucking fruit we’re talking about there’s no way he won’t give you an A”. You honestly hope Jungkook was speaking the truth.

The class was almost over and the fruit you ended up painting was strawberries. You thought it came out pretty cute. As you turned to Jungkook’s painting you tilted your head “Weren’t we supposed to paint only one fruit, why did you paint a whole fruits basket?” you asked. Jungkook shrugged “I didn’t know what fruit to paint, I feel like I am someone with many traits that can’t be linked to just one fruit, so hopefully Professor Min likes it.” he said.

Professor Min started to walk around the classroom in order so that meant you would be last in the classroom again. He reached Jungkook “Wow Jungkook it seems as you thought outside of the box, tell me what your painting means,” Professor Min said happily. Jungkook chuckled before responding “Well I feel like my life can’t be represented through one fruit, I like to think highly of myself so painting every fruit I could think of expresses that I am happy and that having all these traits is not a problem as long as I feel content with it” Jungkook explained.

Professor Min nodded “You impressed me yet again Jungkook, that’s an A” he smiled as he moved onto your station. Jungkook gave you a huge smile and a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. “Before you show me your fruit painting I want to see your revised painting of your roses Y/N,” Professor Min said. You handed him the painting of your roses. “I added a scenery behind the roses, as you can see I added an ocean behind them. You don’t see flowers growing near the ocean, I put them there because reaching the feeling of love is rare for me and it usually wouldn’t go too far so the roses would die even if they land in the sand or water.” You spoke hoping Professor Min can give you an A.

Professor Min sighed “I think you’re thinking to deep into your feelings Y/N, the painting is beautiful actually however I’m sure love will be successful to you one day. I will up your grade for this painting to an A” he said as he moved onto your fruit painting. “Thank you! For my fruit painting, I decided to paint strawberries, they represent happiness because whenever I go eat them I’m always reminded of the pretty things in life.” You stated happily. “I think that’s a nice way to go about it Y/N however I think your strawberries need a little more detailing maybe add a prop like how jungkook added his fruits into a basket. I’ll give this a C, feel free to re-do it, and turn it in next Friday.” Professor Min said as he turned away without letting you speak.

What the fuck a C again? You didn’t understand but you didn’t care. If Professor Min wanted you to fix it then you will because you simply just wanted to graduate.

As each week passed by you became more and more frustrated. No matter what you did with all your paintings Professor Min always gives you a C just to regrade to an A once you redid them. “I’m literally going to fucking kill him if he gives me a C one more damn time” you rolled your eyes as you started to eat your pizza. 

“I think he’s hitting on you Y/N” Jungkook simply said as he sipped his banana milk. With that, you started to choke on your food “W-what?” you were sure that was not it, definitely, Professor Min hates you. “I don’t know it’s just weird that he keeps doing that and that he leaves you for last when it comes to grading. Plus you’re a senior right? Professor Min is only 27 there’s not too big of an age gap between the two of you.” he shrugged as he bit his pizza. “There’s no way in fucking hell he’s hitting on me, plus isn’t that illegal for a professor to do that?!” you questioned

“Not really as long as you both give consent to each other and keep it low it’s fine, plus you’re graduating so I don’t think he sees an issue.” Jungkook said as you hit him in the head with your phone “Well I promise you that’s not it, let’s not talk about this anymore kook” Jungkook grabbed his head chuckling while you just wanted to shut the conversation off because you honestly didn’t know how to feel if Professor Min actually liked you.

“Alright, so I will be walking around the classroom to look at the different birds each of you painted. This is the last assignment before I give you your final project next week, so I hope many of you improved with this assignment if it’s not good you may have trouble with the final as I will not be offering any regrading on it.” Professor Min firmly stated.

Time passed as he went to each student before reaching Jungkook. “What do we have here Jungkook?” Professor Min asked. “I painted a bluebird Professor Min, I thought it was perfect to paint as it symbolizes the arrival of spring but with the semester ending, I feel like I have put my all into all my works so the bluebird also symbolizes hard work!” Jungkook smiled while answering. “Nicely done Jungkook, you never fail to amaze me with your work. Your grade for this assignment is an A. I actually want to speak with you in my office tomorrow, even though you’re a freshman I feel like I wouldn’t mind having you as a mentor in my courses for next term.” Professor Min said as he smiled widely at Jungkook. ‘Thank you so much, I would love to help mentor students!” Jungkook smiled even his eyes fucking smiled. 

Professor Min walked over to you pulling out your grading sheet. Jungkook packed all of his things happily as he made a big heart with his hands before leaving the classroom. He has a habit of cheering you on with a cute gesture before Professor Min grades you.

“Seems like you have a similar color palette as Jungkook, what bird did you paint,” he asked looking at you. “I painted a Blue Jay Professor Min they have a meaning of being fearless. The reason why I painted it wasn’t because of the meaning but because of the color blue. I was reminded back to the popular meaning of the color blue, sadness. Even though the Blue Jay is fearless it makes me think if it sometimes feels lonely while pulling that Fearless front. I always try to stay strong for myself and pull through but there’s a point where I feel stuck but I don’t want to speak about it. We all experience fear in our lives whether that be alone or with someone else.” You exhaled as you said all of that. ‘Gosh talking for that long while having Professor Min’s stare is having too much of an effect on you’. 

“Wow Y/N the meaning you put to your painting is amazing, I love the connection” he squinted at the painted before continuing. “I think you should add something into the painting that shows what the Blue Jay may have a fear of. Other than that your grade is a C. You can come into my office after Jungkook tomorrow if you want to speak more into redoing this pro-” you cut him off as at this point you already had enough.

“Why a C, I don’t understand Professor Min please make me understand why you give me a fucking C every single time just for you to give me an A after I fix minor mistakes! This isn’t right and I want a true explanation why,” you yelled as you tried to slow down with your breathing.

“Y/N please lower your tone when speaking to me” he calmly said. “No! Just tell me why! I fix everything for you just for you to do the same shit all over again” you said already feeling tears coming up “Just why, please” you begged

“Y/N….your paintings always came out beautiful even without the regrading. I was interested in you on the first day of class when I noticed you were a bit older than all the other students, you stood out to me because this also isn’t your major of focus. You stood out in so many ways and I guess I wanted to get close to you. However, as my status as a professor, I can’t just do it so easily so my way of doing it was trying to keep you in the classroom and in contact with me as long as possible. I wanted to see you more Y/N because I like you.” Professor Min said as he looked into your eyes trying to at least find something.

“P-professor Min…” you stuttered surprised by his confession. “Please call me Yoongi Y/N, class is over” he stated as he got closer to you. “I don’t know what to say...Yoongi” you said moving your gaze to the floor, you couldn’t believe he was doing all this because he liked you, Jungkook was right. Yoongi grabbed your chin lightly as he lifted it before he placed his lips on yours. You kissed back slowly as Yoongi placed his hand behind your head to deepen it.

You could feel yourself starting to get hot as things got intense with the kiss and somehow you’re at Yoongi’s desk sitting on his lap. “Fuck Y/N you’re so beautiful did you know that I’ve been thinking about you like this for a while now,” he said in between the kiss as he could feel you trying to rut on his bulge. He chuckled “I bet your so wet right now Y/N look at you rutting against my cock that’s not even out for you yet.” You whined as you just wanted some pleasure, it’s been a while since you hooked up with anyone. “Yoongi please I just want your cock,” you said trying to rub your clothed core on his lap for stimulation. “Yeah? Want my cock right here huh when anyone can walk in and see my cock stuffed in your pussy?” Yoongi kissed your neck as you moaned. His words were so dirty which turned you on even more. “Yes yes Y-yoongi I need it!” you cried out.

“I need your pants off  Y/N,” he said as he helped you take off your pants leaving you in just your underwear. You couldn’t believe you were doing this in a classroom with your own Professor. You helped Yoongi take his pants off and then you were left staring at his boxers. “Y/N take my cock out and suck” he demanded as he stared at you. You could tell he was already eye-fucking you. You put your hand into the opening of his boxers and pulled out his cock. 

Fuck. He. Was. Huge 

You didn’t waste time given the circumstances you’re in, you started to suck his cock. You couldn’t fit all of him it was too much however Yoongi grabbed the back of your head forcing his cock to go all the way in your mouth making you tear up. “Fuck Y/N that’s it take this cock, I think I’ll come soon” Yoongi growled as he guided your head down his cock. While you were sucking, Yoongi took out his phone to capture the sight of you. He never painted nude paintings because he wanted to wait for someone he loved to do so. Just by looking at you, he wanted to make you into art for only him to see. 

You could feel Yoongi’s grip on your head tighten signaling that he was close to cumming. “Y/N where do you want me to cum sweetheart,” he asked looking down at you his hair sticking to his skin. You pointed to your mouth as you couldn’t form words obviously. “Your mouth is so good for me Y/N taking this cock so well” he grunted before he shot his cum into your mouth slowing down the pace of his hand on your head.

You swallowed every drop before lifting yourself onto his lap and leaning in to kiss him again. “Y/N I want my cock inside you,” he said as he grabbed your ass and positioned you over the tip of his cock before slamming inside you. “Yoongi! Fuck ugh!” you moaned out loud before Yoongi placed his hand on your mouth. “Baby you have to be quiet unless you want to let the whole school know your mine” he whispered in your ear. You moaned loudly into his hands, you couldn’t help it because Yoongi didn’t even let you adjust to his cock.

“Your pussy is so tight Y/N I might cum sooner then I thought” he moaned as he flips you over. Your face was now against his desk as Yoongi was fucking you from behind. “C-cum inside me Y-yoongi!” you cried out without thinking. Yoongi started to thrust harder and deeper “Shit okay Y/N, Do you like that? Having your professors cock inside your sweet little pussy to make you nice and full?” he growled as he started to slam his cock in and out your pussy. “Yes yes yes! I like that Y-yoongi! I-I’m going to cum fuck!” You suddenly saw white spots as your orgasm hit, you could feel Yoongi’s pace fastening as he started to spurt his cum into you.

Oh, fuck what have I done.

Yoongi pulled out slowly catching his breath before putting on his pants. “Y/N? Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked as he grabbed some tissues to clean you up. Without taking a glance at him you started to quickly put on your clothes. “Y/N?” he called out worried that you weren’t responding. “We can’t do this Yo- Professor Min it’s inappropriate and was a mistake I need to go,” you said as you teared up. You quickly grabbed your things ignoring Professor Min’s calling out.

You dialed Jungkook’s number hoping he would pick up. “Hey Y/N finished with talking with Professor Min?” he answered as you sniffled. “Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to take you back to your dorm?” he asked. “Please hurry Kook, I c-can’t do this” you pleaded. Jungkook comforted you through the phone as he went over to pick you up.

“So you had sex with Professor Min?” Jungkook blinked repeatedly as he was trying to take in the whole story. You nodded wiping your tears “It was wrong but it felt so good and it’s bothering me kook, I don’t know what to tell him.” Jungkook handed you a tissue “Y/N there’s obviously feelings between the both of you the only thing stopping you are each other statuses. The fact that Yoongi didn’t kick you out of the classroom and offered to clean you shows that he isn’t one of those people. I’m sure he’s hurt too Y/N. The best advice I can give is for both of you to give each other space until you’re ready to confirm your feelings back. If you realize the relationship is no good then let him know.” he stated as he gave you a hug. “Thank you, Kook. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend when you’re so nice” you tried to smile as you were in Jungkook’s arm. 

“I do have a crush on someone but I don’t think she likes me back” he sighed. “At least try but don’t fuck up like me” you chuckled. Jungkook nodded the problem was that you didn’t know that you were his crush. Jungkook was in love with you but he knew that it was never going to happen.

It was suddenly Friday again which means you had to see Yoongi. You were nervous you had no contact with him since you two had sex. You walked into the classroom seeing Jungkook give you a warm smile. Jungkook pointed in front of you so you looked over just to see Professor Min was early however he looked less like his happy self.

“Alright, so today’s class will be short because I will assign you all your final projects. For this project, you must make a collage of a color with multiple shades that speak words. You have 2 weeks to complete this project class dismissed.” Professor Min said as he gathered his things and left the classroom.

“Woah that was quick, Professor Min always uses his full class time no matter what,” Jungkook said as he sighed. “I think it’s because of me Kook, fuck what have I done. I really fucked everything up I’m sure instead of a C he’s going to give me an F.” You felt like crying, to be honest. “Hey, it’s okay. Want to come over my place to destress? We can watch Disney movies?” Jungkook smiled as he wanted to make you happy. You nodded “That would be great Kook” you smiled.

You and Jungkook were currently on the 5th Disney movie for the night. “Why can’t my love life be like a Disney movie, I feel like my story with Yoongi is like one of those tragedies before they get remade into a Disney Movie” you sighed reaching for some strawberries. Jungkook’s grip tightened on his cup of juice, he hated how you only spoke about Yoongi since the incident occurred. “Y/N if you keep thinking about Professor Min you’ll only stress yourself out more, give it a rest for just a bit, and maybe talk with him when finals are done?” he suggested. 

“The problem is that he’s all I ever think about Jungkook, I really thought I could forget about him even while watching these movies but it’s worse now.” you sighed. Jungkook looked at you for a moment before suggesting something that made you confused. “Then let me help you forget,” he said as he looked into your eyes. “Jungkook?” you were confused by what he meant, as you laid your eyes on him his lips were against yours. Unlike the kiss with Yoongi, you weren’t responding back. “Please Y/N…..just for today...let me do this,” he asked as his eyes looked into yours searching for permission to continue. Jungkook was younger than you by a few years but you trust him and know he means no harm and that he just wants to help. You nodded as you kissed Jungkook back.

In just about 5 minutes both yours and Jungkook’s clothes were discarded on the floor. “Fuck Y/N is this what you let Professor Min see? He doesn’t deserve to see your beautiful body.” Jungkook said as he placed his mouth over your nipple. You moaned out “J-Jungkook!” as Jungkook started to suck on your breasts “Did Professor Min worship your breasts like this? I bet he hasn’t huh” he chuckled as he gave you small bites over your chest. Your hands reached to Jungkooks bottom half as you tried to grab his cock. He wasn’t as big as Yoongi but definitely Jungkook’s cock was thicker making your pussy clench around nothing. “Eager aren’t you Y/N? Just want my cock in your tight pussy right?” Jungkook smirked.

“Please Jungkook no teasing I just want you inside” you whined as you could already feel some of your arousal slipping out. Jungkook laid your body onto the couch. He left for a bit to grab something only to come back with a blindfold. “A b-blindfold?” you titled your head.

“I know you don’t love me Y/N, I’m only helping you take your mind off things so I thought having you wear the blindfold would help because I don’t want anything to change between us,” he said as he placed it over your eyes. “Thank you Kook, don’t worry I won’t forget about you and I feel bad for even letting this happen, I don’t want to lead you on,” you said sadly. “Y/N I wanted this too I promise you I’m okay with this,” he said softly.

Jungkook wasted no time as he hovered over you inching his cock slowly inside you. He groaned “Mm Y/N your so fucking wet just for me, look at how easily you’re taking this cock”. You moaned as you felt Jungkook stretching you out, you could only see darkness which caused you to clench on him. He hissed “Y/N please don’t clench like that baby I might cum within seconds.” he laughed. His laugh brought a smile to your face, you definitely felt comfort in Jungkook’s arm.

Jungkook spent his time thrusting into you repeatedly, you could feel yourself about to cum soon as your walls started to tighten around Jungkook’s cock. “K-kook I’m going to cum” you moaned as you gripped Jungkook’s back hard. “F-fuck okay I think I’m going to cum soon too Y/N, want me to cum inside you?” he asked heavily panting as he continued to thrust into you. “Yes come inside me I know you want to Kook” Jungkook’s heart felt like it was going to explode he was doing this for you but he smiled as you cared about his feelings too. You knew that the both of you probably won’t ever do this again which is why you agreed. 

Jungkook changed positions as now you were sitting on his lap, He grabbed your waist making sure to help you with the pace. You wrapped your arms around him as you felt your orgasm hitting you “Jungkook ugh cum in me now” you whined as Jungkook thrust you through your orgasm and then cumming inside you.

You laid on top of Jungkook with his cock still inside you catching your breath. “You good Y/N? Let’s get you cleaned up, you can stay over if you want for the night I’ll sleep on the couch.” Jungkook offered as he slipped your blindfold off.  You nodded already feeling sleepy “Thank you kook, and I’m so so sorry. I really hope one day a person who deserves you a lot will love you” you teared up saying it because you didn’t want to hurt him he’s your friend who loves you and you weren’t sure if you liked him back.

Jungkook smiled as he slipped out of you “Y/N it’s okay I’m just happy that I could take your mind off things for a bit, if it all goes wrong just know I’ll welcome you with open arms” he said as he helped clean you up before handing you some extra clothes to put on.

2 weeks passed like it was nothing and soon enough it was Friday the day finals were due. “What color did you base your collage painting on kook?” you asked him. “Oh I based it on the color purple, apparently it signifies having creativity and I definitely think I represent that” he laughed. “You really love yourself, huh, but that’s a good thing so I can’t really make fun of you for it” you chuckled.

“What about yours Y/N?” with his question you paused before speaking “Well um it’s based around the color pink. I can’t go much into detail but basically this is my confession painting to Professor Min” you said blushing a bit, nervous to speak to Professor Min after weeks have passed. “Ah is that why you didn’t attach an explanation note to your painting,” he asked and you nodded. “Good luck Y/N, I hope everything works out and let me know if you guys get some,” he said wiggling his brows. You laughed and playfully pushed him.

Professor Min walked in and stood in front of the class. “Alright everyone today is your last class with me today. Don’t worry we aren’t going to be doing anything today. All you have to do is bring your canvas up to the front of the room and make sure your explanation notes are attached to your paintings. I hope you all have a wonderful summer break” Professor Min smiled as students started to submit their paintings and then walk out the classroom.

Jungkook patted you lightly on the back and gave you a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. You smiled and started to pack up your things slowly as you waited for Professor Min to notice that you didn’t attach a note to your painting.

“Miss Y/N please come to my desk, the rest of you drop your paintings here and go” he stated.

Here we go, you exhaled before walking over to his desk. “Yes Professor Min?” you asked fully knowing what he was going to tell you. “I don’t see an explanation note attached to your painting,” he said as he looked up at you for the first time in weeks. “I didn’t write one,” you said plainly. “Well since you didn’t write one I am going to have to give you a-” before Professor Min could continue you cut him off “I love you Yoongi,” you said looking at him for a reaction.

“Y/N wha-” he said in a surprised tone. “My painting, it’s my response back to your confession Yoongi. I found love and it’s you” you told him as you started to blush. “Really?” he asked and you nodded.

“Fuck come here Y/N” Yoongi called and you obliged and sat on his lap to start kissing him. “Gosh so that means your mines now?” he asked as he started to undress you. “Y-yes I’m yours now Yoongi officially” you let Yoongi undress you as you stared at his eyes while he was doing so. Yoongi paused as he saw bite marks over your chest. “Y/N where did these marks come from” as you didn’t answer he inserted two fingers into your pussy thrusting them in. “Who did it Y/N tell me right now or I won’t give you my cock,” he said sternly as you cried out “Jungkook Jungkook did them!”

Yoongi chuckled “Where’s your phone Y/N” you pointed to your desk. Yoongi pulled out his fingers as he made his way over to your desk. “What’s the password,” he asked. “Bluemyg” he typed in the password as he started to look for Jungkook’s number in your contacts and pressed call when he found it. Jungkook immediately answered of course because it’s you.

“Did everything go well Y/N?” Jungkook asked. “Come to my class Jungkook right now,” Yoongi said as he hung up the phone turning it on silent. “Yoongi what are you doing?” you wanted to know why in the world did he call Jungkook over when you’re naked on his desk. Yoongi didn’t answer you back and slid his cock inside you “Fuck even after Jungkook fucked you he left you nice and tight for me” Yoongi chuckled.

Jungkook entered into the classroom to see Professor Min with his cock inside you. “H-huh,” Jungkook said as his eyes were blown wide. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth,” Yoongi said not giving Jungkook an explanation. Jungkook just stood there trying to process what’s going on.

You moaned out “Jungkook just do it, it’s okay!”. With permission on your end, Jungkook unzips the front of his pants and pulls his cock out. He made his way over and placed his cock right above your mouth. “Y/N suck,” Yoongi demanded. You opened your mouth to take Jungkook in while looking up into his eyes.

“Isn’t she gorgeous Jungkook, taking two cocks at the same time with the door wide open for anyone to see,” Yoongi said as he continued to thrust into you. Jungkook nodded as he guided your head to suck his cock. You could barely think about anything when you had two cocks occupying your holes. You pulled away from Jungkook’s cock “I-I’m going to cum”. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth again and cum when I say so okay?” Yoongi said as Jungkook agreed while thrusting his cock back into your mouth.

You started to clench harder around Yoongi’s cock as you whined while having Jungkook’s cock deep in your throat. “Cum” at that moment Jungkook and Yoongi started to pound into you and release their load. Your vision blacked out after your orgasm.

“Is she okay?” Jungkook asked as Yoongi closed the classroom door and pulled down the shades. “She’ll be fine, I think she was overwhelmed by taking the both of us,” Yoongi responded as he went over to you to start cleaning you up with wipes. “I’m not sure if Y/N will be okay with it, we’ll have to get her opinion on it, but I don’t mind having you in the relationship as well Jungkook I know you love her too,” Yoongi suggested. Jungkook’s eyes widened “R-really? Prof- Yoongi are you sure” Jungkook asked not expecting this. Yoongi nodded “I’m super sure” he smiled.

You opened your eyes to look to the right to see both Yoongi and Jungkook talking. “Did I pass out?” you asked making your presence known. Both of them looked at you and nodded. “Y/N how about adding Jungkook into our relationship?” Yoongi asked immediately. Your gaze turned to Jungkook expecting your answer “I-I don’t mind….I know you thought I didn’t love you Jungkook but after that night my feelings started to develop for you.” you smiled “I love you both” you said as you walked up to the both of them and kiss them both on the lips. 

“Since we’re still sorta naked how about we make a body painting collage using all the colors we can” Jungkook suggested.

“I’m all in for it what about you Yoongi?” you asked looking at him. He laughed “Wow this is going to be a long day, let’s do it!”

✈ Um hi! I hope you enjoyed my very first fic on tumblr. Please leave me feedback down below whether it’s good or bad. I will start working on getting a masterlist post soon! Feel free to ask me questions or make comments on ‘Ask Starrymin’.

✈ I will try my best to get the Mother’s day Barista!Namjoon x Single Mother!Reader fic done this week. My plan was to get it done today however colors took me much longer than I thought. So please wait a little more until I upload it!

✈ Anyways I hope you all have a wonderful day! Please stay safe and healthy. Also I’d like to wish Happy mother’s day to all the moms out there and even mother like figures too! 

→ Feel free to support me on Kofi

→ My BTS fic recs

[sugarcomatosed]

i love your stories so much!! and was wondering if you can give some writing tips perhaps? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Breaking this up into sections for you + putting it under a cut cause I went overboard. 😅

General Writing Tips

These work for both academic and creative writing.

Make an outline.

It doesn't have to be a formal one, but having at least a general idea of the scenes you want to include is helpful. If I know my fic is going to be a longer one (like Don't Hesitate was and my current WIP is), I break down the larger story beats i want to hit on a piece of paper or my iPad.

It's good to know what you're planning to do, in a any piece I usually have a single specific scene I want to do and depending on what it is, I might either just do the scene I want to or turn into something longer.

Draft, draft, draft.

I cannot stress the importance of going through and reviewing your work. This is a big part of any sort of writing.

Your first idea isn't always your best idea. As you work on a piece you might find your original idea is holding you back, focus shifts! Don't be afraid to let your work change as you go. It's not always easy to let go of your original idea but if you find it's not working, you have to let it change. Sections will need to be rewritten, things have to be readjusted to fit with later sections. Reread for clarity while you're drafting and look to see if this makes sense to you, or reads well to you. If you can't follow it and you wrote it, chances are your reader can't either. Did you use the same phrase again and again? Find and search it on your doc to double check.

Sometimes you have to cut things you really like because they just don't contribute to the fic anymore. Save those bits and use them somewhere else!In a lot of my longer pieces I will write a paragraph, realize that's not where it should go and cut/paste it into another part of the doc because the pacing/scene doesn't make sense where I had it originally, but it works somewhere else.

If you're stuck, skip around, come back and then stitch the bits you have written together.

Don't Focus on a Word Count

This might be controversial, but I'm of the opinion just because something is longer does not make it better. Some works are short, and that's okay! I very rarely try to aim for a specific count of words unless it's for a prompt exchange or a personal challenge. I write till I feel the piece is done. Some stories require more words, some require less.

Don't Hesitate is a great example of this again, because all I wanted to do was a bittersweet first kiss fic, but jumping write into the kiss wouldn't get the full effect I wanted. Meanwhile, with Old Habits all I wanted to do was write dumb comedic kisses, we didn't need a 2k preamble.

Get Someone You Trust to Edit

My go to editor for the past six years or so is one of my good friends. She has edited everything from college papers to my fics for me before I post them to read for clarity, find any funky phrases or misspelled words I missed, and I do the same for her when she asks! A fresh set of eyes makes a world of a difference. Find someone to trade fics with or ask a friend! They might have good suggestions you never thought of, or be able to tell what you were going for when you don't even know yourself.

I also rely on my friends a lot to brainstorm and talk my ideas out before I start because it helps me think and figure out what I need. It's super common for me to text someone and say "im gonna spitball at you, that okay?" and then spend twenty minutes chatting through my ideas.

Have Reference Material

For my 13sar fics, I regularly go back and review/screenshot videos of the dialogue to make sure I am staying consistent with story events, character nuance and small details. You don't have to go crazy, but it is really helpful to have your source material to go back to and check yourself against. In non creative writing I always had a pile of papers highlighted with my own notes on the margins.

Take Breaks/Pace Yourself

Know your own limits, and if you are working and working on something and it's not coming out leave it alone and come back to it. I'm really bad at this personally because when I get an idea in my head I want to see it through but sometimes you gotta step back! It's not healthy to keep working on things and overwork yourself. Stretch, get up go for a walk.

Write What You Want to Write

Don't focus on what people want to read. Focus on what you like. Find a topic, a scene, anything that you are passionate about and the rest will follow. The only time I write fic for other people is when I am writing for a friend. Even prompt requests I only take open ended ones, if I am not interested in writing it it's not gonna happen. I know it's super hard and I get really anxious sometimes about letting people down now, or worrying people won't like something but then I step back and remind myself this is a hobby and I'm doing it for fun.

Play to Your Strengths

You shouldn't try to write like me, you should try to write like yourself. Find what skills you have and use them to your advantage!

I can't give you a step by step list to write like me, because nobody in the world has my background! We're all unique. Everything I've listed so far I know because I'm not a beginner anymore! I'm in my twenties and have come from a strong academic writing background.

I took on an intensive course load in high school, and then went onto college for a sociology degree. I very rarely had test based finals and at the end of each semester would have five 10-15 page papers to submit. Straight up some of my skills come from having read and studied the works of anthropologist Clifford Geertz. I am not saying you should read anthropology/sociology texts. Unless you like that sort of thing lol

I also have 6+ years of theater experience (acting & directing), I use this all the time for my writing. When I think about a scene, I think about how I would work through it as an actor, how the character would move, and how would things read to an audience. The GOTE ("Goal, Obstacle, Tactics, and Expectation") method of acting by Robert Cohen is really useful hear if you want a more technical breakdown of what I mean by that.

This leads to a lot of what we called "business" in acting, doing small tiny things while you talk or move around on stage to give the sense you're a real human. I don't have to think or try on these sort of things because they're in my skill set already!

Things I do Personally

As in, these are not transferable skills this is just the stuff I do while working on projects.

Find a Vibe™️

I come into any fic with usually a goal I want to hit, a line of dialogue or something I want to capture. Just like, the general idea of a feeling a song even if the lyrics don't match up. Make a mood-board, a playlist, just find something you wanna do. It's less about the actual words on the page and what you're aiming to do.

Look to things that inspire you

Don't Hesitate got written because I wanted to write a fic that captured the same vibe as a scene in Macross Frontier, where two characters have a bittersweet kiss before the final battle and that scene still has me fucked up six years after watching it.

My current WIP is doing the same thing but with the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown. Two characters working through loneliness, the sudden feeling of falling in love and the frustration that feeling can bring on sometime.

I don't plagiarize them word for word, but these are scenes that inspire me! I also patchwork quilt ideas together. Using Don't Hesitate again, I also ended up pulling from a bunch of shoujo anime, Toradora, Sailor Moon, Yona of the Dawn, Princess Tutu...specific scenes I enjoy to blend and create something new.

Goof Off While You Write

I name my documents stupid things, I write dumb placeholder dialogue or vague sentiments like "insert better word here", I make memes when I'm struggling and roast myself and my predictable tastes.

I spent twenty minutes texting a friend Juro's name with different letters spelt out and then the "fuck your chickenstrips" vine saying it was Juro during destruction. Just have fun with it!

Listen to J-POP On Loop for Hours at a Time

i am not kidding I do this all the time. Perfume, AKB48, anime idol osts, Sailor Moon's OPs/ED, vocaloid songs. I like technopop and Japanese is good because it usually doesn't distract my brain since I only know random phrases, but still know what the meaning og the song is.

I love music, it helps me vibe out.

Thank you so much for enjoying my work ;o;

I hope this is useful to you in some way! I'm so sorry it's so long winded but I am overly thorough and love to teach people ;w;

[fairycosmos]

3. I know i have to 'get out there' but it's hard when you've felt your whole life that nobody likes you. i literally only have one friend. i just feel really hopeless... i feel like im not meant for this kind of life, everything feels wrong and like im waiting for something's never gonna come, some kinda magic. i want of life of adventure and paint and write but instead i have to study because i'd feel like a loser w/o an education. i dont mind working i just dont want to study.

hey love, i'm really sorry to hear that. i think it's totally normal to be disappointed and even more so to be unsure about your future - it's not an indicator of failure, it's a natural part of growing up and finding your place in the world. i'm probably ignorant and don't know what it's like to actually be in your shoes, so i apologize if i come across as frustrating at some points. this is just my perspective. but i'm wondering if maybe taking more time away is an option for you? maybe working somewhere, focusing on your mental health for a while.... because the thing is your level of education has nothing to do with your worth as a person, and even more than that, there's no set time scale for this sort of thing. you could go back to college at 35, and it wouldn't matter. your life doesn't have to follow that stereotypical linear trajectory we're all forced to chase, in order for you to find happiness and success. and you don't have to justify your own personal choices to anyone, least of all to yourself. i just think it's important to try to focus on the factors of living that are in your control, that will bring you a sense of stability and peace. i know it's hard to let go of the internalised capitalistic idea of having to prove yourself through academia and getting a 'good job', but it's always useful to remind yourself of just how exploitative and made up that entire construct is. you're here and you're experiencing the world and with that you are fulfilling your point, you are doing enough. you are enough. everything else is background noise, that we're forced to muddle through, but background noise nonetheless. you don't need anyone's permission to prioritize your own needs and wants.

however, if you're dead set on studying this topic you don't like (which, i totally understand why you'd make that choice bc i know it's not that simple), then i reckon it's alright to just let yourself feel shitty for a while. any sadness, anger, disappointment, pain you feel about it is to be expected - and even though it fuckin sucks to have to carry it, its intensity definitely won't last. one way or another, you will adapt and so will your ability to cope. just don't use those emotions as an excuse to engage in self destructive behaviour, cause that'll only perpetuate the cycle and keep you in a dark place. having to force ourselves to do shit we hate is always going to feel like an everlasting burden we're never going to escape from, even if that's not the case in reality. and i had a lot of experience with that in school too - the main tactic i can remember making a difference, was like you said, finding little things to make the weight of it more bearable. i think that often starts first and foremost with our own mental health before anything else, because it controls the filter through which we see the world. if you don't like it in yourself you won't like it anywhere. when it comes to your social anxiety, are you receiving any support/would you be open to that? i think consistently seeing someone while you're in school - whether that's a counselor, a therapist, attending a support group or even just calling a hotline to begin with - could really help you manage the stress you're so afraid is waiting for you. having someone to talk to and learning why you are the way you are, and what tools could help you specifically in terms of coping mechanisms and finding a support network can honestly do wonders for your self esteem and the way you approach others. and of course it takes time, maybe that brand of self care is a lifelong process, but it's still important to engage with it. so balancing school with prioritizing your own wellbeing might be something that lightens the weight of the experience. anxiety tends to have us anticipating worst case scenarios and drawing on old insecurities to convince us we'll be alone and in pain forever, but what you've been through is truly not a mirror image of where you're going. making friends especially as an adult is fuckin hard, and struggling with it doesn't mean there's something irreparably wrong with you. just means it's hard to get to know ppl, but that's not a personal failing on your part. it's just a fact. most of them are too worried about their own 'flaws' to take note of yours. but that doesn't mean there aren't ppl out there you haven't met yet who will love you, even if that's hard to believe rn. also a side note, it could be a good idea to build up a routine where you're engaging in something that actively makes you happy at least a few times a week. can literally just be watching netflix, or taking up a hobby, meditating, going for a walk - i know college is v busy and it may not always be possible, but having small pockets of deliberate down time to look forward to is crucial. im not saying it'll cure everything or anything, just that it might make it all feel less overwhelming. but lastly, i want to say that it's ok if you give it a go and then decide you can't do it. that's an option, too. it doesn't have to be black and white. don't fault yourself for not wanting to spend 3 years doing something you hate, but also know that it's possible to get through it if it's a means to an end for you, especially if you seek the help you need. and whichever choice you go with, neither of them are 'wrong.' it's just your path.

anyway, i'm sorry this got super long. i think discussing it with someone you trust might be a good move, just to know that they have your back whether you work through uni or not. you're honestly doing so much better than you realize and i'm proud of you for continuing to try and strive despite how painful it all is. but i really hope that you can catch yourself when your brain is being unnecessarily unkind to you, and that you can then make the conscious choice to change the narrative and approach it from a place of patience and self appreciation. i think your life is still worth living even if it doesn't match up to where you think you should be, which is something i've been trying to accept lately too. that so much is beyond our control and we can literally only focus on the silver linings of the factors that are in our hands. that we can still be okay, living like that. and none of this is permanent, not the way it often seems like it is, but especially not the confusion. it just takes time to live the answers to all the existential questions you have. take it a day at a time. ANYWAY im rooting for you with all my heart and if you want to talk about this properly feel free to message me!! my overarching point is that you're not as alone as you feel. and you won't be in college, and you won't be if you look for work instead. so many of us understand where you're coming from. much love to you, take care 💗💗

[halorocks1214]

ბარტერი (a Thunderbirds fic)

Chapter 1: გატაცებული

AO3 Link

Word Count: 3892

Summary: And here they thought getting their father back was the least of their worries.

i make no promises for this fic. the upload schedule will be totally willy nilly because i havent really been feeling the whole writing thing and because of my other fics and projects and irl shit. i hate to admit it but im on the fence on whether or not this will actually be completed, BUT, i still am surprisingly proud of this so im posting it anyway. hope yall enjoy!

“Okay, what’s the dealio?”

Gordon easily skipped around his younger brother with a slightly faux-naive voice. They were currently out in the field, damn tsunamis not being picked up by the D.A.R.T. soon enough, and while Gordon knew better than to talk about personal things during a rescue, it was the first time in a while he even had the chance to talk to Alan.

Who was currently more forlorn than Gordon was aware he could be if the way he watched his toes kick whatever small rock they strutted past was any indication. It took a moment for Alan to register his older brother’s question, but when he did, he blinked a few times before looking at Gordon with a raised eyebrow, “What?”

Gordon was going to play this slyly. Treat it as banter, not an interrogation. Gordon idly leaned over and picked up a stick. He started to twirl it, never meeting Alan’s gaze directly, “I don’t know, you seem off. Just wanted to see if it was anything I could help with.”

Alan went back to kicking the pebbles, shrugging his shoulders in a way that said ‘this was a big deal but I don’t want you to know that’, “Oh, sorry, just tired. It’s not my fault I was having a wonderful nap in the closet only for John to make me tumble out of it due to the alarms. The fact that we’ve been out here for God knows how many hours doesn’t help.”

Gordon’s chuckles at that statement were slightly fake. Alan was hiding something, and if Gordon had to imitate Scott, well, then it was only Alan’s fault, “Yeah-huh. Sounds good.” He focused on the stick, pretending it was a wand and waving it around as such, “Decided on a college yet?”

Alan still didn’t look up, and Gordon could hear the noises of rocks getting kicked and traveling a foot or two. Alan answered him monotonously, “Uh, not really. I’ve narrowed it down to three. I haven’t brought them up with anyone other than Grandma though since the last thing I want to do is create a World War between our older brothers about which one is better.”

Gordon snorted but then got serious again. Dammit, Gordon, you are not letting him worm his way out of this. Again, “If I promise Scout’s Honor will you tell me them?” He cheekily grinned at Alan, which got a small smile out of the younger brother. Nice, getting closer. Now Gordon was doing that rubber pencil trick with the stick, way more immersed with the visual illusion than he probably should be, “Hmm, is it girl trouble?”

Alan rolled his eyes, but Gordon could tell he was getting annoyed, which meant the older brother was getting close. Alan kept his facade up, crunching a stick underneath his feet as he started walking just a little faster, “If you mean ‘Kayo chased me for accidentally spilling paint on Shadow’s nose’ then yes, I’m having lots of girl trouble.”

Gordon winced wholeheartedly and sympathetically. He remembered when he accidentally tripped and spilled water all over the front of her one night. He wasn’t aware she was a fan of throwing them into the pool just as much as he was until that night. It was in annoyance, but still, Gordon considered it a similar hobby between them regardless, “Yeesh, sorry for bringing up traumatizing memories bro.” Squinting at the stick he was playing with, he put it over his lips like a faux-mustache, lightbulb dinging in his brain with joyful glee, “Boy trouble?”

Alan groaned at started walking way faster than Gordon. Once he was about three feet away from Gordon, he shouted while still facing forward so Gordon could hear him, “Oh my god, let it go, Gordon!”

Bingo, Gordon thought he hit the jackpot. Throwing the stick away and keeping his distance from Alan, his grin went ear to ear with excitement at what he thought was figuring it out, “Oh man, okay, wait, hang on, is it that Bear kid? The one Scott rescued for the umpteenth time last week? Or, wait, didn’t Conrad visit you up at ‘Five two weeks ago during your rotation?” Giggling, Gordon rubbed his hands together mischievously, “Allie, how dare you. Romantic or not, it’s my job to help you out with these things--”

Suddenly and abruptly, and shutting Gordon up, Alan turned around and glared at Gordon while his fists were haphazardly clenched at his hips, “Fine, Mr. Nosey, you wanna know? It’s about Dad, okay?!”

Well, there went any ability to joke in this situation. Gordon lost his smile completely and stared mindlessly at his younger brother, who was breathing heavily and still glaring, but Gordon could tell there was a hint of anxiety behind his eyes.

Dad had been back for about two-and-a-half months now, and the Tracy family seemed to be settling into a new routine with him. Everyone was happy Jeff was back in one piece, none more so than Jeff than himself. They quickly figured out how to slowly integrate him back, starting with daily chores, reaching him having permission to help out with IR, and now they were getting ready to reintroduce him back into Tracy Industries.

The anxiety in Alan’s features was suddenly all Gordon could see in them, followed by Alan shaking his head and turning back around, “Shit-- forget I said anything, that’s not why--”

Before he could even think, Gordon shot his arm out to grab Alan by the wrist, his amber eyes wide with careful thought. He needed to think these words through. The idea that Alan was nervous regarding talking about his own dad was... “Allie… I know you didn’t have as much… time with him, but he’s your father too. You don’t have to hide any opinion about him for me, for us.”

Alan still wasn’t looking at Gordon, but the older brother definitely saw the tiny and hidden flinch the younger brother made at your father too. Gordon barely held back the sharp inhale he wanted to make. Okay, that was an entire suitcase, one he, unfortunately, couldn’t unpack right now (as much as he loathed to admit it that was a Scooter problem), so he focused the first problem he figured out, “Allie, are you upset Dad is back or?...”

That got Alan to turn around, “No! Jesus, Gordon, of course, I’m happy he’s back. The only reason I graduated right before we left was that Scott and John both told me to go do something while we waited because “the way you’re bouncing on your toes is going to burn a hole in the ground and Grandma won’t like that,” remember? I’m ecstatic he’s alive and back home.”

Letting Alan gently go, Gordon took a deep breath to reorganize his thoughts, “Okay, then what about Dad has got you so worked up?”

Alan was suddenly much younger than the fresh, getting-ready-to-go-to-college, young man Gordon saw this morning, “You remember that argument between Scotty and Dad, right? The one about five weeks ago that we shouldn’t have listened in on but did anyway?”

Gordon flinched, not wanting to remember that argument.

The two have made up since then, but it was a shock to just about everybody on the island, including John and Virgil, who the blondes nervously told the morning after so they could get some kind of reassurance the world wasn’t ending. In the Tracys’ quest to have their Fairytale Happily Ever After, it never occurred to them that their father might not like how they were running things.

Scott made a decision that didn’t sit well with the older man, and he let his son know that in tactless, Jeff Tracy fashion. Scott’s decision wasn’t the best per se, certainly not the worst, but he could’ve waited for some better options, but Jeff couldn’t just say that outright, that he was concerned about his son taking risks like that. He had to immediately jump to the idea that Scott’s leadership might be lacking suddenly.

It also didn’t help that Scott couldn’t just fucking say that, while he was sorry for being slightly rash, he didn’t like being undermined after years of successful leadership. He went straight for the fact that Jeff had been gone for the past eight years. Scott didn’t blame the man for it, God no, but the insinuation that Jeff wasn’t any better than Scott because of it stung everyone in the room. Because being reminded of the fact that Dad was technically a dead man for a big portion of all of their lives wasn’t bad enough.

Gordon forgot that Scott could be too much like Jeff for his own fucking good, as well as the fact that Scott did get it from Jeff Tracy of all people.

Adult men Gordon’s ass, two old and stubborn as hell mules more like it.

They were both stuck on the fact that now there might have to be challenges of authority, and frankly, now that the oldest outside of Grandma put that idea on the table, it bothered everyone else barely more than those two combined.

Jeff apologized for how he acted after Grandma ripped him a new one, and Scott apologized for jumping the gun a little bit too (after Grandma yelled at him as well), but there was no promising no second fight, least of all one like that.

It was a little like being a kid and watching Mommy and Daddy fight for the first time.

Long story short: it sucked ass.

Alan took a shuddery breath and brought Gordon down from that memory. Alan then proceeded to wrap his arms around himself, rubbing up and down in a weak attempt to ground himself, “I just… what if he had all these ideas about me while he was up there, and what if I’m completely different from those ideas and it disappoints him?”

Oh, sweet Jiminy Cricket.

What the hell was Gordon to say to that? Jeff was a loving a supportive father, more so than others. Gordon remembered all of his swim meets and such for a good reason, so his first response to that statement was easily of course he would be proud of you!

But there was an ever so tiny thing that grabbed Gordon’s tongue from saying that outright. It was honestly minor, so he wasn’t sure why it kept hitting him like a fucking truck.

Eight. Years.

Jeff Tracy was a remarkable man, and even more remarkable father, but nobody spent eight years in isolation, let alone spent it thousands of miles up in space, without it having some kind of consequence. Jeff would never outright disown his sons for anything as long as it wasn’t illegal or got themselves or others hurt, but he was human, and he had preferences just like the rest of them had.

So, disappointed? Hell no. But potentially shocked and uninterested? Less supportive than other endeavors? Gordon loved his father, but he had to admit that he was at a loss. There weren’t Dead Men for Dummies books anywhere, and it sucked to say it, but Jeff was different. They were different, and the only way they would know how this Jeff reacted to things would be an in-the-moment experience, and if Scott’s and his argument was the first concrete example they had...

With how different Gordon was to the rest of his family, he always worried that he would never fully fit in. When Jeff came back he was excited just as much as Alan, as the rest of his family, but Gordon was always worried about his dad the most. He cheered him on at his swim meets, sure, but Gordon was always keenly aware of how the man, outside of taking him to and from them and, well, cheering, lots and lots of cheering, never really asked more than How did it go, sport?

Gordon wanted to be the only Tracy with that fear. It sucked, but in the end, his family always came through even if they weren’t aware of his anxieties. Now that Alan has them, over his father no less…

That just brings them right back around to the start: Gordon would be lying to himself if he knew what Jeff thought of him, let alone Alan.

Alan was a perceptive person, and if Gordon lied to himself, Alan would see that and know Gordon was lying to him as well, and that would very easily make the situation worse.

However, before Gordon had any chance to say something, words pulled from his ass or otherwise, anything to ease his baby brother’s low thoughts, footsteps rustled in the distance, causing the two blondes to snap their heads to look to the side. What they saw were two men, one larger and older, another younger and seemingly out of his comfort zone, in a sense. Gordon was going to chalk it up to ‘being a rescuee after a tsunami’, but his squid senses were tingling, and he felt himself easily go slightly taut.

The younger stranger blinked a few times before snapping his head up to look at the two IR Operatives in front of him. His eyes lit up, and Gordon suspected it wasn’t because he was about to be rescued.

“Oh, shit, these guys are young. How much do you think they would sell for?”

And just like that, Gordon’s gut twisted into a killer pretzel and was dropped off a five-story building. This had to be a joke, had to be. These kinds of people were only supposed to exist in horror stories. In the dark parts of the internet that are mainly regarded as myths, created to scar the poor children who snuck onto their parents’ laptop without permission. Even if they were real, Gordon and Alan couldn’t have had that bad of luck to--

“Remember what we said about famous people? Forget the ages, these guys are International Rescue. Most clients will throw physicality to the wind if something famous is involved.”

Gordon also thought that your pupil shrinking to the size of the tip of a needle when you’re terrified was a myth, but as the blood completely drained from his face and left him white as a sheet, he had to concede he was wrong about multiple things tonight.

Holy hand grenade in a fucking handbasket.

The state of shock his body was forcing him to enter was bad, like, shock-blankets-are-required level bad, but trembles from a different body right next to him snapped him back into attention.

Alan was trembling, his grip on Gordon’s arm so tight that the older brother wouldn’t be surprised to find bruises when his outfit was finally taken off. There was only a marginal amount more color compared to Gordon behind those freckles, and Gordon couldn’t tell if his brother’s pupils were any smaller with the way the kid was flicking them around like crazy, “Wha-- what are they talking about?”

Ah, shock was one hell of a bitch.

Alan was 18 years of age, an adult. He flew a rocket into space for a part-time job. He also lived on an island where he was mainly homeschooled and was soon to be off at some kind of college (maybe even online classes). As embarrassing as it could be, his family wasn’t going to be the puritan fam that shoved the mere thought of sex to the sidelines. Alan had four older brothers who spent a significant amount of time on the mainland around other people more than the youngest could ever dream of. Most time of which was spent in their respective high schools (or Olympics fields, ‘cause Gordon wasn’t exactly of age when he still had school over there) with hot girls and boys-- similar hobbies or not-- that had the same level of hormones flying about.

They knew things and weren’t afraid to answer any question Alan had.

Also, Alan had a huge internet hobby; video games, browsing social media, you name it. The kid’s probably heard stories that would give Scott hernias for days. Alan had to have stumbled across the topic of human trafficking somewhere, whether it was the plot of a teen-rated video game or something as simple as a news article. At the end of the day, this kind of thing was something everyone was subconsciously aware of, but you didn’t think about it because A, it was awful, and B, more often than not, it didn’t happen to you.

But the way Alan stared at Gordon like the prankster held the stars in his palms-- as if he could snap his fingers and bring them to safety in the blink of an eye reminded Gordon that Alan was always a little bit more sheltered than any of them could help it. Alan was one of the last things their mother gave them, and the way John and he essentially became her just split into two people hurt more than any of them would be willing to admit.

Alan knew the horrors of the world firsthand, but he never had to fully grasp it because his older brothers would be there to shoulder it for him.

Always.

Like hell Gordon was going to drop that tradition today.

“Alan, run.”

With a shove and a half, Gordon ripped his little brother’s hand from his upper arm and sent him in the other direction. Gordon also ripped his own heart in half as he ignored the somewhat naive cry of Gordon! as it got quieter and quieter. Despite the guilt, Alan listened and booked it. Like a baby calf being told to run away from starving lions while the mom stayed behind to protect it. Gordon, mostly satisfied that his bro was safe, turned around and swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat.

He was hoping his glare could be as scary as Scott’s or even Virgil’s, but the way the creepy strangers just chuckled as if the threat he posed was no bigger than a tiny kitten filled Gordon with both anger and fear. They knew he was from IR. If they weren’t scared of him, what did that mean they were prepared for?

The older man stated an order, one that had Gordon’s blood run cold, “Go after the other. I got this one.”

Gordon got out half an angry “Hey!” before the man that spoke suddenly charged at him. On reflex, Gordon put himself into a fighting stance and prevented both of them from toppling over. He hardly considered it a victory, though, as the other guy who was ordered to run after Gordon’s baby brother was gone and out of sight before Gordon could even look up after nearly having the wind knocked out of him.

Gritting his teeth and shoving the man off of him, bringing his arms up and curling his fists with a glare brighter than his hair, the only plan he could go with was the one where he took this guy down as quickly as possible. Right now, the only solace Gordon had was the fact that his brother was a quick puppy. He didn’t only need ‘Three to move at the speed of light.

C’mon, Alan, show me why Track was worth it.

Focusing completely on his enemy, Gordon figured the man was intentionally slimy with his words, as the only thing he did in response to Gordon tensing like a cornered animal was to chuckle in cold amusement, “You’re a wily one, they’ll like that.”

Don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t--

Gordon reinstigated the fight with a snarl, landing a punch that didn’t cause as much damage as he wanted, but it was enough for him to gain a slight upper hand. The man wasn’t thrown off balance, nor did he majorly flinch back from the recoil, but he did understand that he had to play more defensively. It was like two stubborn stallions fighting over the mare in the area.

One young and smaller and quicker, his age not a roadblock but an easy strength. If he hit just right his opponent would topple over as quickly as he could throw his fists. The older one, however, was still larger, and while he might have been slower and less agile, his age allowed more wisdom and understanding. He’s probably seen (and kidnapped) many like Gordon, so he knew exactly how to play him like a damn fiddle.

It was hard to say who would win until one of them was either running for the hills, beaten and bloody, or dead at the victor’s feet.

Gordon wasn’t sure how long they went at it, but he knew it was longer than he liked.

He was somehow barely winning it regardless, and he was fully prepared to give Penny a big heckin smooch for the lessons that were currently saving his life, but even with her endless knowledge and background, she couldn’t prepare Gordon for dirty tactics. Stallions fighting over mares usually just involve two of them.

Right as Gordon was able to grab the man’s arms and wring them around his back, a magical third person appeared, different to the second one that went after Alan, like a freaking wizard with his own magic wand.

Which was also known as a cattle prod to most.

The pokey object was jabbed into his side. Fire filled his body, making him scream out in pain. Gordon remembered when he and Virgil messed with one back on the farm as kids and how they learned their lesson the hard way. He was hoping to never “learn” it again. Yet as a couple thousand volts flared throughout his abdomen, even with the suit, he had to relent and let go of his makeshift hostage. His body was on autopilot and it said get away from source of burning pain.

His body tried, oh, it tried, but what was previously his prisoner managed to stand in the blink of an eye and swing a fist into the side that wasn’t being tortured by an agricultural device. With another short, cut off scream, Gordon fell over onto his ass. His wheezes were brutal, the air not wanting to come back into his body despite itself. At this point, the logical part of his brain was telling him he wasn’t going to get away and he should save his energy to withstand whatever these people were going to do to him, but as always, the emotional part was overriding everything.

Shit, guys, help! Scotty, Virg, Dad--

He turned around to be on his hands and knees and scrambled to try and run as Alan did. He might be faster in the water than on land, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t one quick son of a bitch when he wanted to be. It was enough for his gym classes, it was enough when he needed to run away after a successful prank, it was enough when his grandma needed a new test subject...

But it wasn’t enough here.

The cattle prod was shoved into the back of his neck, and with it came darkness and a growing sense of dread.

Please, Mom, get Allie to our family.

[likeawildthing]

in full transparency, last night i asked for you all to share the things you’re missing and grieving. I thought I could hold a place on this blog for the collective grief we are all feeling, even for one ask session. but it became too much. everyone is properly upset and I apparently don’t have capacity right now to offer words of support to all. And I don’t necessarily think that I need to.  It’s okay that this sucks. There is a moment of collective grief we’re all feeling, we are all missing different things. It’s okay not to compare your loss to someone else’s. A loss felt by you is still a loss. We’re all coping, yeah? but i did read all of your responses, and I’m putting them under the cut if anyone wants to read. I hope you do give it a read because it does affirm that we aren’t alone. 

love you all <3 <3 <3

anonymous: My bf broke up with me cause he couldn’t handle the distance due to corona... now I grieve what we could’ve been. I miss him so much.

anonymous: grieving the loss of my senior year of college, my cancelled thesis, my graduation, my job, and my application to grad school which is postponed indefinitely while I work out the requirements. Would love suggestions on how to fill the void 

anonymous: i'm grieving the loss of my racing season. i didn't think it was as devastating as it would be but losing all the work that my team put in for years to get where we are today and losing the chance to prove ourselves at nationals.... has been just that... devastating. i can say though that this quarantine has brought the team close together and i am finding myself. thank god i have the ability to but i am looking at myself as a person instead of just a student, athlete, etc. and figuring out myself in the process. whether that means hobbies, what to do with my future, or just what fulfills me, i'm learning a lot of things about myself. also the weather was gorgeous out today and i was able to get a walk with my dad in after my workout. beautiful!!! also made banana bread and have a zoom call with my teammates for sunday breakfast tomorrow. (GOOD VIBES!!!) 

anonymous: Due to quarantine I can’t see my significant other for an indeterminate amount of time since we’re long distance and I’m an at-risk person. We’re trying to fill the distance with FaceTime calls but it’s still really hard, mostly because we’re just stuck and don’t know for how long :(

anonymous: I used to volunteer at an op shop every sunday with two of my favourite people. The customers sucked, but we played disney and had a blast and would sometimes do dinner or games after it. I miss it so much. To make up for it, we send regular pictures of our pets, do video calls on sundays and play an online pictionary type game to laugh at each other's terrible drawing skills :') 

anonymous: In Germany we are allowed to see one other person at a time. I miss meeting more than one friend. As an autistic girl, communication can be hard and it's easier when you are with three people, cause you can just let them talk and no one focuses on you the entire time. You can just listen and not talk for a bit. 

anonymous: I'm a costume designer and after a few years of assisting I finally finally got hired as the lead designer for Matilda. Which of course then got cancelled, and may be pulled from the season completly if we can't reopen by June. So I have all of these fabric samples and sketches that hurt my heart to look at but that I can't bear or risk throwing out.

@empiresprincess  I’m grieving making music, running a musical, being with young weird enthusiastic youths, and my health. Also seeing my mom or a few my more beloved friends. I’m snuggling my dog, watching my fav youtuber, rewatching comforting media, trying to take care of myself and to let others know when I really need help. Oh and Im working on not judging myself too harshly.

anonymous:  i was just finishing my second quarter at ucla when everything got shut down, and like.. it kinda sucks. i busted ass to get accepted to my dream school, pulled all nighter after all nighter at community college and finally transferred to ucla. i was JUST starting to feel like i had a place there. winter quarter was when i made some really good professor friends, started to get into the swing of things, adn that was when i realized i genuinely WANTED to go to grad school in the uk and get a phd  and one day teach. then overnight im back home struggling w online classes and it just feels like im back to square one? they haven't cut our tuition costs either, and i feel like im paying so much for a whole experience, which now is just zoom university. ;~; i know its not the end of the world, but its sad and i miss my roommates. still, i guess it could be worse. i feel bad for the seniors who are ending their ucla journey with this. also my boyfriend and i have been doing long distance for  nearly a year, and our one-year anniversary is coming up in a few days. i really thought we'd at least be able to spend that together, but he's an international student and he had to go back to india bc of covid. ;~; i miss him a lot and im terrified that the increased distance/time difference will cause us to just fizzle out. its not like we don't love each other a lot, but such limited contact (he can't ft bc his dad doesn't know about us, and so we only call like 3 times a week for 10 mins) makes it hard.. i haven't seen him in almost three months now, and it's just sad, even though i know its not either of us's fault. anywho!! this got really long; sorry about that!! in the grand scheme of things this isn't that bad though, so i'm trying to grieve the losses (and the loss of being back home, oof!) while still keeping an eye out for some of the good things to come. take care linds i hope you're safe and doing better

anonymous:  On one level I am literally grieving the loss of a family member to the virus, but on another I am grieving the loss of my usual life (I had to move back in with my parents temporarily after being on my own for 4 years) and my student (our governor just announced that schools are closed for the rest of the year and I feel like I never ever got to say good bye). I've been filling the void by writing fanfic, but even that has been hard as I have no privacy anymore. I keep getting interrupted.

[thundercrack]

thank you @newangelmp3! i’m going to put this below the cut bc if it’s really long but read on if you want to read some list-based reflecting on 2020!

5 favorite films you watched in 2020:

I’m sure I watched more than 5 movies in 2020 but of course i can’t remember...umm...The Social Network, Lumumba (for class), Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure, It Couldn’t Happen Here, and I think I rewatched Inside Llewyn Davis

5 favorite tv shows you watched in 2020:

I do not think that I watched 5 shows in 2020 tbh. but I did finish the Good Place and Succession. And I watched a bit of the X-Files? 3/5

5 favorite songs you listened to in 2020:

Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers

Our House by CSNY

Always on my Mind by Pet Shop Boys

Temptation by New Order

Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

Top 5 albums of 2020

okay i’ve done a bunch of these with like. my top albums that came out in 2020 so this is just gonna be 5 albums i was obsessed with

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers (what a surprise lol)

13 by Blur

If You’re Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian

Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen

Astral Weeks by Van Morrison

Top 5 books you read in 2020:

I stopped using goodreads this year RIP so uhh we’ll see what I can remember.  Obvious strong bias towards things I’ve read recently but: Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, Love is a Mixtape by Rob Sheffield, How Music Works by David Byrne, Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward, and God’s Bits of Wood by Ousmane Sembène

How did you spend your birthday this year?

Some friends came to my house and we ate ice cream cake on the porch and hung out...don’t really remember any specifics but it was good :)

What was your most memorable day this year?

Probably the Iowa caucus! I kind of forget that that happened in 2020 but it was...a lot and quite eventful.

What was your most memorable meal you had this year?

Probably this meal I made for a bunch of my friends at school and we all ate together before our show...or perhaps making pierogies for the first time idk

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine?

I’ve been really able to dig into a lot of my musical interests and those trends as they change...so, in order during quarantine that’s like: Stevie Nicks, One Direction, Pet Shop Boys, Blur, Talking Heads

What was the last big event/thing you remember doing BC (before covid)?

Probably the Neverland show! I directed and it’s where community kids write stories and then we perform them for college students, the kids, and their families :)

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

got my long run up to 18mi

became better friends with Sarah

declared my major (history) and concentration (studies in the middle east, africa, and south asia)

listened to a LOT of new music

signed a lease to move to Oregon this month :)

Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year?

local governments are running on a lot less than i previously thought and are incredibly stretched thin which like, I knew? but it’s different working with people trying so hard to keep the community safe and just not have the resources. idk. personally like...i need more social interaction than i thought i did? sorry these are both bad answers

And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

This is not a very positive not to end on...but not living with my parents LOL

im blanking on tagging and also this was really long so if you read this and want to do it go for it!

[avelera]

hi! im sorry if this sounds stupid, but im supposed to start uni this year, and im reallyyy nervous about it. coming across so many talented authors such as you really makes me feel incredibly stupid in comparison, and i feel like im going to set my own self back. i work really hard to improve my writing by practising and reading a lot, but i know it's never enough. there's so much out there i haven't experienced yet and i want to include but i just don't know how to express it. please help :((

Hey Anon! First of all, I'm really touched by your kind words about my work, thank you so much! And it’s not stupid at all, my dude, no one is born writing we all gotta practice at it. And don’t feel stupid either! Not knowing something is just the process of recognizing that you’re learning and growing, it’s not a bad thing! Every writer, even the most famous in history, struggled with no being able to express themselves, you are joining a GRAND tradition!

Second of all, HOOOO BOY do I understand the anxieties you’re facing right now about uni, so please forgive me for rambling but I've got SO MANY FEELINGS about what to do as a writer going to uni/college.

Uni/college can be a really hard time for writers. While I was at college in the US, I think I went almost three whole years without writing a single word that wasn’t for a class. The writing workshops I took there absolutely crippled my self-confidence, to the point where I really don’t recommend any budding authors take a college creative writing class unless they’ve already got a BUNCH of stories under their belt, and only take the class if they’re not afraid an individual student or teacher will have that one comment that breaks their desire to write or the teacher is already a mentor that they trust, or because they firmly understand that in the real world you're never going to have someone who was forced to read your story for an assignment, so the kind of apathy and dislike you’ll get for your work in a class is extremely atypical and seems almost designed to kill a new writers motivation when they’ve barely even started to write….

ANYWAY, personal rant out of the way, lemme see if I can put together some thoughts that will help you out, and don’t be afraid to follow up with another Ask if I missed something or you want me to expand on something!

Full disclosure, I’m 32 now and I’ve been writing for 20 years (with the aforementioned huge, multi-year gaps in there where I wrote almost NOTHING) and I’ve had a lot of privilege when it comes to my ability to write and freedom to do so.

If you're like me, writing is going to be hard in uni, don’t get me wrong, some people thrive as writers there, but I’m going to speak to my own experience. You’re going to have a lot of reading and writing you have to do for school and that can potentially drain your creative reserves. Be kind to yourself when that happens. The writing will come back. Maybe set aside time to do a 15 minute writing exercise once in a while if you’re feeling down on yourself, but don’t worry if writing isn’t something that happens every day!

Your note expressed anxiety about there being so much out there you haven’t experienced, but uni is great for broadening your horizons! You’re at the beginning of your road as a writer, not the end of it! Course selection is different for everyone and I don’t know your priorities. That said, if you have a chance for an elective, I recommend picking something that broadens your horizons instead of something you’d usually take. Engineering can help with sci-fi (and everything!), history can help with fantasy (and EVERYTHING), heck, accounting could give you ideas for a financial thriller, every course out there will give you new ideas AND even if you don’t have time to take a course for credit, some professors will let you sit in on the lectures for classes you're interested in but don’t have the time/energy/credits to take officially. I got very lucky my senior year and was allowed to sit in on a class on WWII with a world-renowned scholar on the subject just by asking nicely. Didn’t have to do the homework or pay extra or anything, and it gave me so many ideas for stories and fics!

Again, I actually DON’T recommend taking fiction writing courses unless you have a specific professor you have a good relationship with and want to work with or it otherwise comes highly recommended. In my opinion, it's better to broaden your horizons with a wide variety of ideas and courses over “specializing” in writing. To add to that, here’s some totally unsolicited career advice, I’d also say look into courses that build to a career that won’t suck your soul out. Having a career you don't hate, that gives you freedom to write (with time and/or money) and diverse experience to pull ideas from will be a huge boon to your writing career if it’s something you have any interest in pursuing professionally or as a hobby long-term.

Dropping the uni subject for a second and focusing on writing, one of the things I wished someone had told me sooner is that you don’t need someone else to teach you how to write. Sure, it can be really helpful at some point, but waiting until someone can tell you how to write lost me three good years at least. Again, I don't recommend taking creative writing classes in college because they can be debilitating to self esteem if administered wrong. So just keep writing and you’ll be fine! Maybe do a 15 minute exercise if it’s been a while since you wrote for fun and you're feeling down on yourself. But more importantly, be gentle with yourself if you can't get around to writing every day.

- Don’t WAIT to write the story that you’re passionate about right now. Write it now. Sure, future you might be a “better” writer, but future you might have just taken that cool WWII history class and wants to write a WWII vampire story, not about the thing you’re excited for right now. Don’t burden future you with the thing you’re excited about today, let future you write their own thing. Every story you write is going to have flaws, and is going to look awful to you at some point, but eventually you WILL be able to look back on it and see the good as well as the bad, and more importantly, see how you’ve grown and it will be an amazing feeling! But you can't get there if you stop writing entirely or give up on what you're working on.

Uuuh, other than that...just stay at it! This is a numbers game at the end of the day. Writing a bunch is the best way to progress, protect the spark of your motivation like your LIFE depends on it. If someone or something is making you want to give up writing, get that thing out of your life (to the best of your ability)! My philosophy is that the ONLY thing early writers should be worrying about is writing as MUCH as possible. All the editing and advice and ��do this, don’t do that” ALL that stuff is meant for so much later in the process. If any advice makes you want to write less, ignore it! If you write 100 stories, or 10 novels, or whatever, the last one WILL be better than the first one, it’s just the super cool thing about working on something! You just have to stay at it! 

[soft---darkness]

Train Me (Final)

Hey guys!! Sorry this took me so long to put out, I've still been grinding away with college. But here it is! The series has come to an end. I really enjoyed writing this one even if the ending feels a bit rushed. I hope you guys enjoy!

And stay tuned for the next series..... ;)

-----------------------------

“W-what do y-you mean?” Eric's lip trembled softly as he talked to Dr. Iplier, looking close to crying. He fiddled with his handkerchief, eyebrows furrowed as he tried not to break down into sobs.

Dr. Iplier stammered a bit, looking around nervously. He couldn't say that he was expecting this reaction from the nervous ego, and he was slightly doubting his own words now. Regardless of such doubts, he repeated what he had said steadily. “I don't want you and Dark sparing anymore. It's not safe. He's not safe.” He said again, laying a sympathetic hand on Eric's shoulder. “I know you enjoy it, but I don't think Dark is doing it because he wants to be friends. He's...not a very genuine person.” Dr. Iplier felt bad for upsetting Eric, but he knew that it was for the best. Being around Dark on a good day was pushing it, and for Eric to be actively engaging with him in a violent activity...that wasn't acceptable.

Eric shook his head quickly, almost frantic in his actions. “No, no, it's not like that! He hasn't hurt me or made me do anything that I didn't want to.” Eric tried desperately to explain to the doctor that he wasn't being harmed and that Dark wasn't trying to pressure him into anything, but it came out more like a plea. He really really didn't want to stop training with Dark. Their sessions had become a time for Eric to be able to loosen up a bit and it was helping with his anxiety greatly. The nervous ego had found that in the past few months, being around the others was easier and he wasn't quite as scared of walking alone outside the manner. He was still a cautious person and would probably always be, but learning to fight had made him more assured through daily life.

Though, Eric realized that others might not have noticed a difference. Eric didn't always stick out as a prominent character and sometimes faded into the background when in public. So of course Dr. Iplier didn't fully understand what was going on. He hadn't had the same friendly experiences with Dark that Eric had been having and couldn't be expected to see how safe the sparring sessions were. These thoughts caused Eric to perk up a bit as an idea slowly formulated in his mind. Before he could voice it however, Dr. Iplier sighed softly.

“I know that's how you feel Eric, but Dark is crafty. He may very well be manipulating you without your knowledge.” The doctor ran a hand through his hair as he talked, a nervous habit multiple of the egos had picked up from their creator. He wasn't frustrated with Eric, but rather the situation. He could tell that he was upsetting the new ego, but he only wanted him to be safe. He knew it wasn't fair to tell Eric to stop doing something that he was enjoying, but there were better hobbies for him to pick up. “Isn't there anything else you can do with your free time? Perhaps Google with build something with you or The Host will read with you.” Dr. Iplier voiced the suggestion optimistically, giving Eric a soft smile of encouragement. Eric only blinked at him though, and the doctor sighed again. “Why do you enjoy training with Dark so much Eric?” He asked softly.

Eric stammered a bit, but looked up at Dr. Iplier seriously, hoping to be able to convey how important this was to him. “H-he helps me doctor. I've tried e-everything to control my anxiety and this is the only t-thing that helps.” Eric cleared his throat a bit, his nervous hands rubbing at the yellow cloth between them. “H-he's supportive and he goes s-slowly a-and...and he believes in me.” Eric knew that he was crying at this point, but he ignored the tears. Instead, he grabbed at Dr. Ipliers hand and looked into his eyes. “W-why don't you come w-watch us? Then you can s-see what im talking about…” He made the suggestion shakily, but looked at the other ego with hope.

Dr. Iplier considered the idea quietly, thinking the proposition over slowly and weighing the pros and cons. After a moment, he glanced back at Eric, smiling slightly. “You know what Eric...that might be a good idea.”

---------------------------------------

Eric jumped up the stairs two at a time, almost vibrating with excitement as he skidded to a stop in front of Dark’s door. He rapped on it quickly, all of his normal nerves flushed away by his enthusiasm. He bounced from foot to foot as he waited for Dark to answer and resisted the urge to knock again after only a few seconds. After what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open to reveal a half-alarmed, half-pissed Darkiplier. “What do you- Eric?” He raised an eyebrow at the excited ego, not sure how to react to this new development. “Are you okay?” He asked slowly, feeling slightly concerned.

Eric only grinned and nodded quickly. “We can spare!” He burst out, too eager to waste time with pleasantries. “Dr. Iplier changed his mind and said that I could keep training with you!” He looked at the demon expectantly, purposely leaving out the part of the deal where the Doctor was going to be watching the next session. The two had agreed that Dark shouldn't know. Dr. Iplier had told Eric that he wanted to make sure Dark wasn't putting on an act just because he was there, and Eric agreed to the idea easily. He knew that the Doctor would see how well Dark treated Eric and would give them the go-ahead to keep training in the future.

Darks attitude immediately changed at the news. He smiled gently at Eric, the concerned crease in his eyebrows disappearing as he laid a hand on the other’s shoulder. “That's wonderful Eric! I'm very pleased to hear that. I'll make sure to be ready at our normal time.” He chuckled a bit as Eric grinned and nodded again, bouncing a bit in place. He was happy to see how Eric had changed for the better since they had started training. The doctor had been an idiot to not see it...but at least they still got to train together.

--------------------------------------

“That's very good Eric, just like that!” Dark praised the other egos warmly, smiling brightly as he made progress with the new moves. “Remembered to keep your knees slightly bent. Don't lock down.” They had both gotten into the training with a new vigor this session, both of them ecstatic to still be able to spare and train together. Eric smiled back at the demon as he adjusted himself accordingly to any pointers, relieved to still have this opportunity to learn.

The two settled into their rhythm easily and with excitement, unknowing to the eyes that watched them happy. Standing by the doorway where neither of the two could see, Dr. Iplier stood smiling and shaking his head slowly in surprise. He made a mental note-to-self to apologize to Darkiplier later.