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#writing her going through that was so much fun...
luveline · 2 days
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jade!! i saw you were willing to add emily to your 46 fics and i have a request!! i think about your emily x single mom!reader everyday and i was wondering if you’d write more in that universe? maybe emily has to drop readers kid off at their first day of pre-k or preschool (i have no clue what you call it in the uk) because reader has a work emergency or something??
thanks so much for requesting! fem, 1.1k
“It’ll be fun,” Emily says. 
Jane is looking at Emily like she’s grown a second head. “No.” 
Emily tries again. Swallows her nerves, and readjusts herself where she’s on her knees. “Mommy was gonna drop you off herself, but it's her very first day back at work and they needed her super early, so it’s me. But mom will be the one who picks you up again.” 
Jane just squints. 
“I have to go to work, too,” Emily says. 
“I’m com’n with you,” Jane says, nodding. 
Emily looks behind Jane at the baby gated corral of little kids. It’s possibly the worst adjustment in the world for your work to decide the day-of that you’d have to go early. You didn’t have time to prepare Jane for her own first day, and Emily isn’t good at this bit yet. 
“No,” Emily says, holding Jane by both arms, “I have to go work too, and it’s too boring for you. You’re gonna have way more fun here meeting your new friends.” 
Jane had already met one of the daycare workers, incidentally called Janet, a few days ago to try and ease the new phase of her life, but it’s a common fact that the majority of kids cry on their first day here. Why wouldn’t she? Jane has spent the majority of her growing life with you. This is a horrible adjustment, but better she does it now. 
Emily’s just waiting for tears.
“Em-wy…” 
“It’ll be fun, okay? There’s so much to do! Colouring, painting, dancing, nap time. They’ll make you lunch, and your new friends will have games to play–” She strokes Jane’s arm. “Sound fun?” 
“Okay.” 
“Okay?” 
“I’ll miss you…” Jane mumbles, her eyes finally growing shiny. 
Emily’s honestly not expecting it. “Well, I’ll miss you more. But mommy will pick you up soon,” —you aren’t working the full day— “and you’ll see me at dinner time, okie dokie?” 
“I’m not…” Jane looks lost for what to say. She’s very, very little. Emily isn’t surprised. 
“I know it’s different, but it’s not bad.” Emily tilts her head to the side, giving Jane her gentlest smile. She’s learned all her motherly tricks from you. It’s easy to fall into that tone of voice, that same affection, because Emily adores Jane. 
“Em-wy,” Jane mumbles again. 
“Janie,” she says, copying Jane’s warbling voice. “Baby, I swear it will be great, and then mommy will pick you up and I will buy you whatever big girl dinner you want. We could have McDonald’s.” 
She whispers the last part. 
Jane smiles slowly. “Okie dokie.”
Emily should’ve guessed that Jane wouldn’t cry. She’s a funny little kid, quiet and sweet and a teeny bit slow to understand. Perhaps she’ll cry once Emily’s already gone. 
“Okay. Do you want a cuddle before I leave?” 
Jane nods, tucking her face into Emily’s front. Emily wraps her arms around her and breathes in the smell of the lavender conditioner you’d run through her hair last night. “Love you, babe,” Emily whispers. 
“Love you too.”
Emily thankfully gets home. Hotch laughs at her eagerness to not work, remarking that somehow you’d made a family of a woman determined not to be tied down. He had a point —Emily didn’t realise she wanted a wife until she met you. Didn’t realise she wanted a daughter until she met Jane, though she’s had her whims and whiles about it. 
This is real. 
You hear the door and hurry to it. Emily’s barely out of her shoes when you find her, in your smart clothes yourself, a chocolate smudge on your cheek. 
“Where’s the fire?” Emily asks. 
“Thank you for this morning,” you say, taking her hands. 
Emily softens as you rub her fingers. “You’re welcome. Did she– was she okay? She looked extremely worried for a baby.” 
“She’s not a baby.” You lean forward and to one side, just touching her. “Emily, you– I was so worried, I thought she’d take it hard but you really pulled a magic trick. She didn’t even cry when I picked her up. When I asked how her day was, she told me you promised it would be fun… and that you were going to get her McDonald’s.” 
“I will get her McDonald’s.” 
You take a swift, soft kiss. “My hero. She told me she missed me, but guess who she mentioned first?” 
Emily raises her eyebrows. 
“Mm-hm,” you hum, pulling her to the kitchen. “Em-wy, of course.”
Emily squeezes your hand as you both enter the kitchen to find the source of your kissed cheek. Jane sits at the table in lavender pyjamas to match the smell of her hair. She’s eating chocolate covered strawberries and celery with peanut butter, spread on her hands and lips, but less on her cheeks than her mom. 
“Baby, look! Guess who’s home?” 
Jane finds Emily with her gaze and gasps happily, clapping, a strawberry falling in the gap of her chest and table. “You’re back!”
“I’m back! You’re home, too! Did you have fun?” 
There’s a suspicion in Jane’s expression that she’s too young for, as though she’s guessed this whole daycare business is permanent, but she shrugs it off. “I miss you,” she says. 
“I’m back,” Emily reminds her. “I can see where mommy got her kiss from, that looks yummy.” 
You wipe your cheeks with two palms and bring them down to find chocolate melted against your fingers. “Thanks for telling me.” 
“I had plans to help you eventually.” Emily rounds the table and chair to tip Jane’s head back gently, looking her over. “You okay? Did you have a good day?” 
“Good day,” she echoes. 
“You’re happy?” Emily asks. 
She’d realised how nervous she was for your girl the second she left the daycare building. What if Jane hates it, and she cries the whole day and makes her eyes sore? Emily hadn’t enjoyed thinking about it, deciding she’d get her more than McDonald’s. 
“I’m glad you had a good day,” Emily says. 
“I fed Sergio!” Jane tells her. 
Sir-joe must be a pretty happy cat. “Thank you, babe, you’re the bestest.” 
You aren’t jealous but eager as you slide into Emily’s side and under her arm. You smile as you rest your face on her shoulder, a little cat-like yourself as your breathing evens. “She saved the day.” 
Jane looks up at you both, but her eyes meet Emily’s as she smiles. “Missed you, mommy,” she says. 
Emily’s heart skips a beat, wondering, just for a moment, if Jane was talking to her. Emily wouldn’t mind it. It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
You nab a strawberry from Jane’s plate. Emily’s expecting it, but she’s still too happy to talk as you kiss her cheek. “Got you back.”
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thedensworld · 17 hours
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Illogical Project | C.Sc
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Pairing: Ceo! Seungcheol x reader
Genre: fluff, humor, stranger to crush
Summary: It was just a project to get rid of a side chick, but Seungcheol fall. Deeply.
I was having so much fun writing this!
Seungcheol didn’t have to do this. But he needed to do it. Logic flew right out the window the moment he’d typed your name into the company group website. Imagine his surprise when your profile popped up, revealing you were part of the marketing team—under his own label, no less.
The woman sneaking around with his cousin’s fiancé was one of his employees?
Seungcheol let out a dry laugh. Well, this just got interesting. It shouldn’t be too hard to get rid of you.
It has been two years since Jiyeon, his cousin, and Jeonghan got engaged. Their engagement had been more of a business deal than a love story. And although Jiyeon’s engagement to Jeonghan was supposed to be purely transactional, it had been a lifesaver for Seungcheol. Thanks to her, he no longer had to endure his grandfather’s endless nagging about getting married.
But then, yesterday happened.
“Jeonghan’s been cheating on me!” Jiyeon had wailed, storming into his office like a whirlwind. Seungcheol hadn’t thought much of it—Jiyeon tended to exaggerate. He’d been about to brush it off with some nonchalant comment until she hit him with: “I think I’m going to call off the engagement.”
Hold up. What?
That wasn’t part of the plan. Jiyeon couldn’t break off the engagement! Without it, Seungcheol’s peace and freedom would go down the drain. He’d be right back to enduring those endless blind dates set up by his grandfather. Dinners with girls whose names he’d forget before dessert even arrived. Absolutely not.
Which led him to this moment, finding you—Jeonghan’s secret girlfriend. His smirk widened. If cutting you out of the picture meant keeping Jiyeon on board, then so be it. He’d convince you to take your cheating ways elsewhere.
Who would’ve thought his biggest problem was one of his own subordinates?
If anyone could see him now—Seungcheol, the company CEO, scrolling through employee profiles like a suspicious boyfriend—it would be mortifying. But hey, desperate times called for desperate measures. And there was no way he was letting his hard-earned freedom slip away because of Jeonghan’s wandering eyes and your sneaky rendezvous.
*
"Mr. Choi has been acting strange lately," your manager said as she returned from his office, a puzzled look on her face.
"He’s refused every ad plan we’ve pitched to him. And now he’s specifically asked for you to handle it."
Your brows shot up in surprise as you pointed at yourself. “Me?”
“Yes, you. He wants you in his office in ten minutes—with the best idea you can bring to the table.”
“Wait, ten minutes?!” You shot up from your chair, scrambling to find the folder you always kept at your desk. Panic set in as you grabbed your iPad—your lifeline filled with every concept, draft, and half-baked idea you’d ever had. “Why are you just telling me this now?”
Ms. Shin shrugged nonchalantly, already turning her attention back to her own tasks. “It slipped my mind. Good luck!”
You let out a frustrated sigh. Typical Ms. Shin. She was a perpetual headache wrapped up in business casual attire. Just yesterday, she’d dumped her entire presentation prep on you, claiming she was “too busy” to handle it herself. Never mind the fact that you were the one who’d developed almost every campaign concept the department had used for the past two years.
But still, you remained a shadow. Despite your efforts, you were practically invisible in the department—overworked and unnoticed.
As you rushed to the elevator, the thought crossed your mind: Why did Mr. Choi want to see you now?
Was he starting to see through Ms. Shin’s facade and realize where the real work was coming from? Your heart raced with a mix of excitement and anxiety. This could either be a breakthrough… or a complete disaster.
Jeonghan used to tell you a lot about Seungcheol, his college friend. From what you’d heard, Seungcheol was the embodiment of professionalism. He wouldn’t judge you for staying in the shadows to support your boss all these years, but that didn’t make him any less intimidating. The truth was, you didn’t know him well enough to understand what went on in his mind.
To you, Mr. Choi was just your boss’s boss—the executive you occasionally spotted from a distance as he strode through the office with that air of authority and responsibility. He was the face of Heidos Food, a man who commanded respect and led by example. His dedication and work ethic were part of the reason you’d decided to join this label among the Heidos Group’s many subsidiaries.
Taking a deep breath, you managed a smile at his secretary. “Mr. Choi is expecting me,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.
The secretary gave a curt nod and led you to the door. You couldn’t help but feel small as you stood before it, staring at the imposing wood panel. The secretary knocked gently and stepped aside, motioning for you to enter.
This was it—your first time stepping into the office of the man who practically ran the entire division.
Your heart pounded wildly in your chest as you took a deep breath and stepped inside.
What could he possibly want from me?
"It was disappointing, Ms. Ji."
Your heart sank as Mr. Choi’s voice sliced through the silence after you wrapped up the impromptu presentation.
“I don’t see your idea being as innovative as I expected. The format feels repetitive—similar to every program the marketing department has produced over the past few years.”
You bit your tongue, resisting the urge to argue. How could you not? Internally, you were screaming. Of course, everything looked the same—they were all your ideas! Yet, it wasn’t like you could point that out to him.
Instead, you forced yourself to respond with a calm, “I’m sorry, sir.”
Mr. Choi tapped his pen thoughtfully against the desk, his gaze never leaving your face. “But,” he continued slowly, “it does have potential. It just needs a bit more… observation and refinement. Do you think you can handle this project, Ms. Ji? It’s rather risky.”
His question caught you off guard. Risky? Since when did Mr. Choi—who typically preferred playing it safe—assign risky projects to subordinates? Still, you couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.
“I’m confident I can handle it, sir. If you trust me, I’ll deliver.”
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he nodded. “Good. In that case, pack some clothes. We’re going to Singapore for a seminar tomorrow.”
What?!
You blinked at him, stunned. Singapore? Tomorrow? You hadn’t even processed what just happened before he dismissed you, turning his attention back to his paperwork as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on you.
*
Seungcheol had no idea where your confidence came from. He’d incidentally overheard your phone conversation with Jeonghan earlier, and it was all sweet and annoyingly romantic.
Alright, maybe it wasn’t exactly accidental. Maybe he intentionally eavesdropped—just a little—but who could blame him? He couldn’t believe how bold you were to have such an intimate call with Jeonghan right in front of him.
So, people are right when they say love is thrilling when you’re playing with fire, he mused, his annoyance growing.
"You should pay attention to her more," he heard you say, your voice dropping to a softer tone that made Seungcheol’s scowl deepen.
Then you added, with a laugh that sounded entirely too carefree, "You’re right, I’m the better companion."
He felt his jaw clench involuntarily. Companion, huh? The nerve of you—being all cozy with Jeonghan right under his nose. He was already irritated by this whole situation, but now he had to endure your lovey-dovey chatter too?
“Alright, I gotta go. Bye... Have a nice day!” you finished, your voice as sweet as honey.
The moment you hung up, Seungcheol snapped himself into a more composed posture, acting as if he hadn’t just been caught leaning against the wall, listening like a gossip. He made a show of dropping himself onto the couch in front of you.
To his further irritation, you looked up with an even brighter smile.
“What should I do today, sir?” you asked, voice cheerful and professional, as if you hadn’t just been caught cooing over the phone.
Seungcheol had to think. There was really nothing too strenuous on the agenda for you today, but a part of him—call it the vindictive part—wanted to see you squirm, especially after witnessing your little show of affection for Jeonghan.
“Take notes on everything,” he ordered, watching your expression closely. “Mingle with everyone. Join every discussion. Since I’ll be attending a separate meeting, make sure you don’t make a fool out of our company. Got it?”
You nodded and jotted everything down like the diligent employee you were. “Okay, noted, sir.”
Seungcheol let out a sigh, not quite satisfied with the reaction—or lack thereof. “Can I trust you with this?”
Your smile remained unwavering as you met his gaze. “Don’t worry, sir. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
Something about your calm composure only made him want to push you further.
How could you be this unbothered?
On the last day of the seminar, Seungcheol could hardly believe it when his company was presented with an award of appreciation—all thanks to your hard work over the past few days. He had known you were good, but he hadn’t expected you to exceed everyone’s expectations this much.
But what truly grated on his nerves was the way people kept talking about you: “That woman with brains, bravery, and beauty,” they said, almost in awe.
Is this a business seminar or some kind of beauty pageant? he grumbled internally, irritated by how many times he’d heard those words. Every time someone praised your creativity and wit, it felt like another jab. Yet, even he couldn’t deny you deserved the recognition. The achievement might have been unexpected, but it wasn’t entirely surprising.
Now, he found himself sitting at a high-end restaurant for lunch, just hours before their flight back to South Korea. You sat stiffly across from him, clearly uncomfortable. After refusing his invitation five times and trying to hitch a ride to the airport with his secretary instead, here you were—reluctantly.
“You can choose whatever you’d like, Ms. Ji. You’ve earned it,” Seungcheol said, not looking up from his menu as he spoke.
You mumbled a polite acknowledgment, your gaze glued to the menu. Seungcheol raised his hand to call the waitress over and glanced at you, waiting for your order. His eyes widened in surprise when you rattled off your request in perfect, fluent Malay.
“Wait—you can speak the language?” he asked, caught off guard.
You nodded casually. “Yes, I studied and graduated here.”
“Hmm,” Seungcheol murmured thoughtfully. He tapped his fingers against the table, considering your response. “With that kind of portfolio, you could easily settle into a bigger company. Why stay at Heidos Food?”
To his surprise, you shook your head, rejecting the notion. “No, Heidos Food is the perfect fit for me.”
Seungcheol raised a brow. He couldn’t tell if you were just being polite or genuinely meant it. “And why is that?”
You paused, looking a little hesitant before speaking. “Five years ago, I had just graduated, and I attended the company’s anniversary event with someone I knew. I saw your speech there—it was incredible. It motivated me to become a part of Heidos Foods. I applied several times, went through multiple interviews, and finally got my position three years ago.”
Seungcheol didn’t like the way your story painted him as an integral figure in your career choice. He didn’t want to think he was that important. And yet, there was no denying that something about the way you spoke made him pause. He found himself strangely flattered—and maybe a little more intrigued than he wanted to admit.
He glanced away, clearing his throat. Stop it, Seungcheol. She’s not special.
But the thought wouldn’t leave him. He kept stealing glances at you, wondering how he had overlooked these little details about you. Maybe there really was something to what everyone kept saying: brains, bravery, and beauty—all rolled into one package.
No, he told himself sternly. Focus.
Slowly, Seungcheol found himself losing sight of his initial motive for getting to know you better—the desire to uncover the truth behind your connection with Jeonghan. As he spent more time with you, your charm and intelligence began to weave a spell around him, shifting his focus from suspicion to genuine curiosity.
The more he learned about you, the more he realized how difficult it was to see you as just a subordinate or a rival in Jeonghan’s affections.
He hadn’t planned on feeling this way, and it unsettled him. What started as a calculated move to monitor your interactions had transformed into something entirely different.
Seungcheol caught himself daydreaming about your conversations, replaying moments that made him smile. He was drawn to you in ways he hadn’t expected, and that realization left him both exhilarated and confused.
As his initial purpose faded into the background, a new question took root in his mind: What if getting close to you had become the most intriguing project of all?
*
“Can you send Ms. Ji to my office after this? There’s something I need to discuss with her.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but she just left the building a few minutes ago due to personal business. She didn’t provide any details.”
Seungcheol nodded in frustration as Ms. Shin, your manager, wrapped up her paperwork. It had been two weeks since the two of you returned from the business trip, and he still found himself at a crossroads. He was working diligently to create a void that would justify getting rid of you, especially concerning your relationship with Jeonghan.
Alright, if he could be honest; he didn’t want to lose a gem like you from the company. The idea of you being Jeonghan’s “side chick” was almost infuriating, especially given your intelligence and undeniable beauty.
Yeah, Seungcheol couldn’t deny that your beauty truly shone when you were focused on your work, and he found it charming every time he handed you a new challenge.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed with a call from Jiyeon, his cousin. He picked it up, immediately greeted by her sobs.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked, his protective instincts kicking in.
“Jeonghan…” Jiyeon cried, her voice trembling as she choked out his name.
“What did that bastard do now?”
There was no immediate response, just the sound of her muffled cries. Then, through the tears, Seungcheol finally heard her say, “He had a car accident after we fought. He’s in the hospital now.”
Within moments, Seungcheol found himself standing outside the operating room with Jiyeon by his side. To his surprise, he spotted you sitting quietly in a corner, clearly distressed. So here you were, the “personal business” Ms. Shin had mentioned.
“Let’s get you something to drink,” he said gently, placing a reassuring hand on Jiyeon’s shoulder and guiding her away from the waiting area. He handed her a can of soda as they sat down together.
“We fought on the phone,” Jiyeon explained, her voice still shaky. “I mentioned his side chick, and he denied it. He said he had no one besides me. I didn’t believe him, and then he said he would explain everything when he came to my office, but he got into a car accident.”
Seungcheol nodded, processing her words. “Y/N was there,” he said, gesturing toward you in the corner. “Y/N. She’s the one Jeonghan was supposedly seeing,” he added, his voice laced with confusion.
Jiyeon’s brow furrowed in frustration as she shook her head. “No, they are siblings. They have the same mother,” she sobbed, her voice breaking under the weight of her emotions.
Seungcheol’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What? They’re siblings?”
“Yes,” Jiyeon replied, her expression a mixture of sadness and relief. “That explains everything. I thought he was cheating on me, but it turns out he was just trying to protect her.”
The weight of this shocking revelation shifted the tension in the room, leaving both of them momentarily speechless. Seungcheol leaned back against the wall, trying to digest the news.
Jiyeon wiped her tears, glancing toward you again. “I need to talk to her,” she said, determination filling her voice. “She deserves an explanation.”
Seungcheol nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. Maybe this would clear the air and mend the rift between you.
*
"Has she done this a lot to you?" Seungcheol heard your voice coming from inside the room as he and Jiyeon were about to enter. Both of them paused instinctively, hovering just outside the door.
"She accused you of cheating. She put you in this situation!" Your tone was laced with a rage Seungcheol had never heard from you before. There was an intensity, a fierceness in your voice that was completely unfamiliar to him.
"I could’ve lost you…”
Jeonghan’s voice was soft, barely audible, as if trying to calm you down. “I’m fine, Y/N. I promise. It’s not her fault.”
Jiyeon, who had been poised to enter the room, suddenly froze, her eyes widening in realization. She glanced at Seungcheol, and he could see the confusion and guilt reflecting in her gaze. Before she could turn away, you stepped out of the room, your eyes red and swollen. The sight of Seungcheol and Jiyeon standing there, having clearly overheard the conversation, caught you off guard, but you quickly composed yourself.
You cleared your throat and walked past them with your head held high, your expression a perfect mask of indifference, as if you didn’t realize—or perhaps didn’t care—that they’d been listening in.
Seungcheol watched you go, his mind spinning. He couldn’t help but be reminded of the college days when he and Jeonghan had shared a dorm room. As the only Korean students on campus, they naturally gravitated toward each other. He recalled Jeonghan often mentioning his younger sister—a sibling from the same mother who was in middle school at the time. Seungcheol had never met her, but from Jeonghan’s stories, it was clear how much he treasured her.
"I get a headache every time she doesn’t pick up my call!" Jeonghan would grumble late at night, throwing his phone down in frustration. “She’s so stubborn, but she’s all I’ve got.”
And now, it all clicked into place. The sister Jeonghan had spoken of so fondly, the one he worried about constantly, was you. You, the woman who had captivated his attention with your intelligence and charm, were Jeonghan’s sister. Someone who had been right under his nose this entire time.
*
The hum of the office printer was the only sound in the room as you carefully gathered the documents you needed to submit. Steeling yourself, you walked to Seungcheol’s office and knocked gently before stepping inside.
Seungcheol glanced up from his computer when he heard the door open. The usual lighthearted banter that had developed between the two of you was noticeably absent as you approached his desk and placed the file in front of him.
“Here’s the proposal, sir. It needs your signature,” you said softly, keeping your eyes on the document and not on him.
Seungcheol picked up the pen, his gaze shifting between the file and your calm, composed demeanor. After scribbling his signature on the dotted line, he cleared his throat, an awkward tension hanging between you two.
“Is… Jeonghan doing better?” Seungcheol asked cautiously, trying to keep the conversation going.
“Yes,” you replied, your voice finally holding a hint of warmth. “He’s recovering well. The doctors said he’ll be discharged tomorrow.”
Seungcheol nodded, a small wave of relief washing over him. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad he’s getting better. If you need more time off, just let me know. I know you’ve been the one taking care of him.”
You shook your head gently. “No, thank you. There’s already an assigned nurse for him. I’ll be back to work as usual.”
The air between you two was thick with unspoken words and awkwardness. Seungcheol felt the weight of everything he had said and done, of the suspicion that had once tainted every interaction he’d had with you. He knew it was his fault the dynamic between you had shifted so drastically, and now, he was fumbling, unsure of how to bridge the gap he had created.
“I—” Seungcheol hesitated, his usual poise and confidence faltering. “I know I messed up… and I don’t blame you if things don’t go back to the way they were. I just… I miss the way we used to work together, the way we used to talk.”
You blinked, taken aback by his admission. But even then, you didn’t respond with the same enthusiasm you used to. Instead, you offered him a small, understanding smile.
“Thank you for understanding, sir,” was all you said before you excused yourself and walked out of his office.
Seungcheol watched you go, the emptiness in his chest expanding. He had been wrong—terribly, embarrassingly wrong—and now he was paying the price for his foolish assumptions. He had shattered the easy camaraderie that once existed between you, and now, he was left with the cold, polite exchanges that felt more like a punishment than anything else.
You were here, right in front of him, but you felt more distant than ever.
*
You knew exactly what had been happening to you, but you tried to deny it until it finally affected you like it did today. Ms. Shin had already lectured you with words you never imagined she would use, all because of a rare moment of clumsiness that you didn’t even see coming. You had too much on your plate, and the project Mr. Choi had assigned to you was nearing its deadline. In the midst of it all, you accidentally forgot to send an anniversary message to one of your most loyal clients, and Ms. Shin had to do damage control.
“They were very offended, Y/N,” Ms. Shin snapped, her voice carrying throughout the office as she reprimanded you in front of everyone. You stood there, hands clasped in front of you, listening to her and internally cursing yourself for letting things slip, all because you couldn’t get Mr. Choi’s words out of your mind.
“I miss the way we used to work together.”
“I miss—”
“I’ll be reporting this to HR. I can’t handle this kind of negligence anymore.” Ms. Shin concluded sharply, her words reverberating through the office. A collective gasp came from your colleagues, who were too stunned to react.
Later that day, you found yourself sitting in the HR director’s office, replaying Ms. Shin’s words in your mind. You expected another round of the same scolding, but what came next blindsided you completely.
“We’ve received reports about you neglecting your responsibilities over the past three months, and unfortunately, we can’t tolerate this any longer. Please clear your desk before the workday ends,” the HR director said, his tone dismissive.
“What?” The shock was apparent on your face. No warning letter, no opportunity to explain—just an immediate termination.
“You’re firing me?” you whispered, still in disbelief.
“Effective immediately.” His tone was final, and there was no room for negotiation. You were jobless. Just like that.
You felt a scream building up inside you, a storm of emotions you didn’t know how to release. Anger, frustration, betrayal—every word they’d said felt unfair, and you were powerless to fight it. Who were you to contest it? Just another employee, replaceable, forgotten.
By the time you made it home, Jeonghan was the first to greet you, his face lighting up in surprise. “You’re home early?” he chirped, clearly not expecting you at this hour. Ever since he was discharged from the hospital, he had been staying at your place, recovering until he could get around without any help.
His smile quickly faded when he noticed the cardboard box in your hands. His expression crumpled with worry as you dropped the box onto the table with a heavy thud. “Are you… fired?” Jeonghan asked hesitantly, as if he couldn’t believe his own words.
You nodded, letting out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, they fired me. Fuck Heidos. I’m going to start my own advertising company!”
Jeonghan blinked, caught off guard by your outburst. “Alright, slow down. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but what happened?” he asked, concern lacing his tone.
You shrugged, collapsing onto the couch in exhaustion. The last thing you wanted was to relive today’s events by recounting them to your brother. You just wanted to forget.
“Does Seungcheol know about this?” Jeonghan pressed on, not noticing how drained you were. “He told me you were handling a project together. Was this his decision?”
“Do you need a marketing staff?” you deflected, throwing the question back at him, trying to steer the conversation away.
“No, I don’t. But if you’re interested, I can make some room for you.”
You shook your head immediately. The last thing you wanted was to work for your brother’s company out of pity or nepotism. It wasn’t like you hadn’t considered it before, but joining his business now would feel like a defeat.
“I told you, you could’ve joined my company from the start,” Jeonghan murmured softly, his tone far gentler than before. “The Heidos you were so proud of has finally turned its back on you, huh?”
You groaned and stood up abruptly, your heavy steps echoing through the small living room as you stormed off to your bedroom. You slammed the door behind you, cutting off whatever else Jeonghan had to say.
“Yeah, Heidos finally threw me out,” you muttered bitterly to yourself as you leaned against the door. The company you had dreamed of working for, the place you’d given your blood, sweat, and tears for over the years—had thrown you out without so much as a second thought.
You took a deep breath, but it didn’t ease the tightness in your chest. This was the company you had stayed up nights for, the one you’d gone above and beyond for every single day. You’d fought your way in, made a name for yourself, only to be discarded like you were nothing.
And all you could think about was how everything had spiraled ever since that conversation with Seungcheol. How his simple words had shaken your confidence, distracted you, and caused this downward spiral.
But the worst part?
You still cared what he thought.
You sat on the edge of your bed, staring blankly at the wall as Jeonghan's words replayed in your mind, taunting you.
Heidos finally turned its back on you.
Was that it, though? Was it really the company you were angry with? Or was there something more?
Your gaze dropped to the floor as a bitter realization crept in. Were you really interested in Heidos all along? Or was it Mr. Choi?
You closed your eyes and let out a slow breath, your thoughts drifting back to the first time you saw him in person. It was during Heidos’s anniversary gala, a grand event that showcased the company's milestones.
But there he was—Choi Seungcheol, the CEO’s son, standing on the grand stage, delivering a speech with the kind of charisma that made everyone hang on to his every word. He talked about vision, about passion, about how Heidos wasn’t just a business—it was a dream they all built together.
You remembered the way his eyes scanned the room as if acknowledging everyone’s efforts personally, his voice carrying conviction and authority. He seemed approachable yet untouchable at the same time. There was a spark in him that drew you in, like a flame you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by, even if it meant risking getting burned.
When he mentioned the value of individual contributions, you couldn’t help but imagine yourself as one of those valued employees he spoke of. That night, you had felt an overwhelming sense of pride, a hope that you, too, could be part of something bigger. Part of his vision. It made you work harder, push through every obstacle, and make a name for yourself in the company.
But what if, beneath all those aspirations, it was his approval you were really after?
Had it always been about earning a place at Heidos, or had it been about being acknowledged by him? Did your heart race because of the accomplishments, or was it because of the fleeting interactions you had with him?
You tried to shake off the thoughts, but the memories kept flooding back.
There was the time he complimented your work during a company meeting, the way he’d asked for your opinion during a discussion, and, of course, the project where you saw a different side of him—where he was more than just the stern, high-and-mighty executive everyone knew him as.
"I miss the way we used to work together."
His words echoed in your mind, laced with regret and something you couldn’t quite place. Had you let those words affect you more than they should have? Had you crossed a line somewhere between professionalism and personal admiration?
You huffed out a breath and rubbed your face with your hands. It was hard to admit, but maybe you were chasing after more than just a career.
Maybe it was a person.
“Are you really that naive?” you muttered to yourself, almost laughing at how pathetic it sounded. “You got yourself fired because you couldn’t get over a few words from Choi Seungcheol. Great job, Y/N.”
What had you been thinking? That you meant something more to him? That the way he looked at you was anything other than superficial interest? Maybe you’d been reading into things too much, letting your emotions cloud your judgment.
After all, the way he’d treated you—suspicious, distrustful, wary—it all pointed to how little he thought of you. You were a pawn in his game of protecting Jiyeon. The only reason he ever looked your way was because he thought you were a threat.
And yet… you wanted to believe there had been something more. Something genuine. But now, everything felt tainted.
Because if Heidos was no longer an option, then you’d just have to prove to yourself that you could rise even without the company’s name backing you up.
But first, you’d have to figure out a way to keep your heart in check—especially when it came to him.
“Forget it, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself, staring at your reflection in the bedroom mirror. “Forget about Choi Seungcheol. He was never part of your plan, anyway.”
*
It was his first day back in the office after a week-long business trip, and Seungcheol finally had a chance to sit down and get back into his routine. His secretary entered the room with his usual coffee, already prepared with a list of updates and meetings for the day. He rattled them off efficiently, detailing every appointment and task Seungcheol needed to be aware of.
“I want to know the update on the project Ms. Ji is handling,” Seungcheol said, glancing at the folder in front of him, half-expecting to see her familiar name.
There was a brief pause, and when his secretary responded, the answer was something Seungcheol never anticipated.
“She’s no longer part of our staff, sir.”
Seungcheol frowned, a flicker of confusion crossing his features. “What do you mean?” he asked, the question carrying a sharp edge.
“She was terminated a week ago due to negligence in fulfilling her responsibilities,” the secretary explained carefully. “The report came from Ms. Shin, and HR approved it immediately.”
Seungcheol’s scowl deepened, the irritation evident in the tightening of his jaw. He leaned back in his chair, processing the information. “Ms. Ji was managing a critical project with me,” he said, his voice lowering. “Her status required my approval. How is it possible I wasn’t informed about this?”
His secretary’s shoulders tensed, and he hesitated before replying, “I’m terribly sorry, sir. You were occupied with meetings and engagements throughout the week, and I only received the details two days ago myself.”
“Busy or not, I should have been notified immediately.” Seungcheol’s voice was dangerously calm. He glanced at the stack of files on his desk, his mind already racing to piece together what could’ve gone wrong. “I want Ms. Shin and Mr. Kim from HR in my office—now.”
“Yes, sir,” the secretary replied quickly, bowing slightly before leaving the room to carry out Seungcheol’s orders.
Seungcheol’s gaze shifted to the half-empty coffee cup, his thoughts a blur of anger and disbelief. Fired? For negligence? That didn’t add up. He knew you weren't perfect, but you were dedicated and thorough. You had handled complex projects before, and while you had your flaws, negligence was never one of them.
Something wasn’t right.
The door opened again a few minutes later, and Ms. Shin walked in, followed closely by Mr. Kim. Both looked apprehensive, likely sensing the storm brewing from the tension in the air.
“Explain,” Seungcheol said without preamble, his eyes fixed on Ms. Shin. “Why was Ms. Ji terminated, and why was I not informed?”
Ms. Shin cleared her throat, meeting his gaze with a strained smile. “Sir, there were multiple instances where Ms. Ji failed to meet her deadlines and deliverables, which impacted the team’s performance. I reported this to HR, and after reviewing her recent performance records, they decided to let her go.”
“And whose idea was it to keep this from me?” Seungcheol’s voice was low and dangerous.
“We didn’t intend to keep it from you, sir,” Mr. Kim interjected cautiously.
“The decision was made quickly due to the urgency of the situation. Given that you were away and Ms. Shin was the acting supervisor for that period, we thought it best to handle it internally until we could brief you properly.”
Seungcheol’s gaze shifted between the two of them, his displeasure evident. “I don’t appreciate decisions being made without my knowledge, especially when it concerns a project directly under my supervision. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sir,” they both answered in unison, looking visibly uncomfortable.
“Ms. Ji was fired without a formal warning or disciplinary review?” Seungcheol continued, his voice hardening. “Was she given no chance to explain herself or defend her performance?”
Ms. Shin shifted uneasily, a flicker of annoyance crossing her face. “Sir, she had been making several mistakes, and her focus seemed to be elsewhere. It was affecting her work quality. We couldn’t afford to let it slide any longer.”
“Was this decision truly about her work, or something else?” Seungcheol pressed, his gaze narrowing. “Because from what I’ve seen, she was one of the most consistent performers on the team. I want a full report on the matter by the end of today.”
“Yes, sir,” Mr. Kim replied quickly, while Ms. Shin’s jaw tightened, her frustration barely masked.
“Dismissed,” Seungcheol said curtly, waving them out of his office.
*
You practically jumped out of your bed when you saw an incoming call from Mr. Choi flash across your phone screen. Heart racing, you scrambled to sit up straight before answering.
“I’m outside your place.”
What?
You blinked, staring at yourself in the mirror in disbelief. Just moments ago, you had been in a post-drama-marathon daze, slouched in bed after indulging in a series binge you could never afford the time for before. And now, the very man who occupied your thoughts far more than he should—the Choi Seungcheol—was calling to announce that he was outside your apartment?
“Uh—can you give me ten minutes? I’m not exactly looking presentable at the moment,” you stammered, glancing down at your wrinkled pajamas and messy hair. Your reflection screamed “I-just-woke-up” and “don’t-look-at-me”.
“I—what I mean is!” You quickly corrected yourself, flustered. “I just woke up, so I might look a little… disgusting.”
The last word fell out awkwardly, and you cringed inwardly. Of all the words you could’ve chosen…
“Take your time, Ms. Ji.” His voice was calm, almost amused. You heard the call click off, leaving you in stunned silence.
Oh God, what was he doing here?
You dashed into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face in record time. The face staring back at you looked different now—the long hair you used to style meticulously was gone, impulsively cut to shoulder length last week in a fit of frustration and exhaustion. You sighed and brushed it diligently, making it look as presentable as possible. Changing out of your pajamas into something more decent—a casual blouse and jeans—you took a deep breath before heading outside.
Stepping out of your building, you spotted his sleek car parked along the road, and there he was—slipping out of the driver’s seat, looking effortlessly handsome despite the casualness of his attire. His usual sharp suit was gone, replaced by a simple white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Even without the formal suit jacket, his presence seemed to dominate the entire street. You couldn’t help but stare for a moment, struggling to reconcile this man’s unexpected appearance outside your home with the same person you admired from afar at work.
Focus, Y/N.
“How are you?” Seungcheol asked, his gaze soft as it met yours.
You couldn’t bring yourself to answer verbally, so you just nodded stiffly, offering a tight smile. The truth was, you weren’t okay—not even close. And a part of you wanted him to understand that without you having to spell it out. But another part of you was wary, unsure how much he even knew or cared about what happened.
“I just found out about your termination this morning,” he began, and you blinked in surprise. You hadn’t expected this to be the topic of conversation. “I’m so sorry.”
You stood there, rooted in place as you stared at him. What was going on?
“I shouldn’t have let Ms. Shin handle things like that,” he continued, voice low, the frustration evident in his tone. “I knew she’s been trying to drag you down all this time. I knew you were the one carrying the department, handling all the toughest projects… That’s why I’m sorry.”
The Choi Seungcheol, the man who exuded confidence and charisma at every turn, now looked uncharacteristically small and uncertain standing before you. The apology caught you off guard. You had prepared yourself for cold professionalism, or maybe even indifference. But not this.
“I won’t force you to come back to the company,” he said gently. “That’s entirely your choice.”
He paused, looking as if he was weighing his next words carefully, then took a deep breath. “But I don’t want to lose the chance to tell you…”
Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as his eyes locked onto yours, the intensity in his gaze making it hard to breathe.
“I might like you,” he confessed, his voice almost a whisper. “Romantically.”
What?!
The world seemed to freeze around you as you stared at him, your mind racing to process his words. Seungcheol… liked you? The very same Choi Seungcheol who spent years being distant and impossible to read? He liked you, romantically? This couldn’t be real.
“I—I don’t know when it happened,” he continued, his expression a mixture of vulnerability and resolve. “But somewhere along the way, I realized I was looking forward to seeing you every day. You were more than just a competent employee; you were someone I admired. And then… I started to miss you.”
The sincerity in his words left you speechless. You glanced down, unable to meet his gaze as you tried to figure out what to say. Was it possible that you hadn’t just admired him from afar but had harbored deeper feelings too?
“I understand if this is too much for you right now,” he said softly, stepping back as if to give you space. “I just needed you to know… I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when I should’ve been. And I’m sorry that you had to go through all of this because of me.”
His voice was gentle, and for a moment, the street around you seemed to blur, leaving just the two of you standing there, suspended in this unexpected moment.
What could you possibly say? Words failed you, so you did the only thing you could—you nodded, acknowledging his apology and his confession, still unsure if you were dreaming or awake.
“Thank you… for telling me,” you managed to say quietly.
Things could never go back to the way they used to be.
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flemingology · 17 hours
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Bundled up, Pout and all | Leah Williamson x Reader
In which: Leah complies to wear the silly hat she knew she was going to get stick for
Warnings: none, just fluffy :)
WC: 1K
A/N: based on this look. Too cute I couldn't resist to write a blurb :(
Divider: @cafekitsune
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“Put this on, babe. I don’t want you to get cold. Please,” you tried once more, met by another eye roll and a pout from your girlfriend.
Arsenal played the second leg of their qualifying round against BK Häcken tonight. Leah was ruled out due to concussion protocol, but she was cleared by the medical team to go watch in the stands — so she was adamant.
You had to pass this time, though. As much as you wanted to join your girlfriend and sit in the stands with her, you had to finish up on some things for work. You’d promised her you would watch the stream on tv, making sure to cheer for the girls — just as she requested.
It was a rather chilly night, though. The rain had been coming down in buckets throughout most of the day and there was a really cold breeze swiping through the air, making it slightly uncomfortable to be outside.
You had already managed to get Leah to wear a pair of earplugs, shielding her from the probably loud Arsenal fans she will be surrounded by — she might’ve been cleared to go see the game, but there was no harm in being careful.
The challenge you were facing now, though, was slightly bigger. You wanted Leah to wear a hat, to protect her from the cold — because you knew how she would be if she got a cold now while she was already sidelined.
Admittedly, it wasn’t the sexiest piece of clothing either of you owned but it would keep her warm, it would do the job, and you and her both knew she would pull it off anyway. She could pull off right about anything, let alone a slightly silly-looking hat.
“Babe, this thing looks so silly,” she grumbled in response, throwing her head back. You stepped closer to her and took her face in your hands, rubbing her cheeks affectionately. “I know, Le. But it’s for your own good. I don’t want you to catch a cold, especially now that you’re already sidelined,” you leaned in close to her ear and whispered the next part in her ear, “you and I both know how insufferable you get when you’re sick.”
Leah huffs but reluctantly tugs the piece of clothing out of your hands and puts it on, which causes a proud smile to spread across your face. “You look adorable. Now go, don’t be late,” you pressed a sweet kiss against Leah’s lips, which you wanted nothing more than to linger, but you knew this game meant a lot to her. You pushed a strand of hair that had escaped back under the hat. “I won’t be late. I love you,” she accentuated with a last chaste kiss before she was out the door.
You settled down on the couch with your laptop, waiting for the game to start while you got to work on some deadlines.
Deep into the second half, the camera had found your girlfriend and a couple teammates in the stands. You hadn’t noticed at first but a double take later, your eyes were attentively watching the screen. Your heart warmed at the sight of her, bundled up in a warm Arsenal coat, chatting away to Victoria and Steph. Much to your delight, you saw that she was still wearing her hat. You chuckled slightly, admitting that it wasn’t a particularly flattering item to put on her head — but if anything, you knew she wouldn’t be cold right now.
Before you knew it the game ended, sending Arsenal through to the group stages of the Champions League after a convincing 4-0 win against their Swedish opponents. You were happy for them, happy for Leah — she was gutted when she found out she couldn’t play this game.
The camera had found your girlfriend a couple more times post-game, some teammates making fun of the hat that was proudly sitting on top of their head — you’d seen the memes online comparing her to Smurfette and in all honesty, you found it quite funny too.
Before long, the coverage ended and you resorted to some binge-watching of a new show you’d discovered. You had a chunk of time to kill before your girlfriend would be home, knowing she’d probably hang around a bit longer than she should.
2 hours later, you finally heard a set of keys jingling outside your front door — signalling your girlfriend was finally home. You got up from the couch and turned off the tv, assuming she would probably want to head to bed immediately. You walked over from the living room to the hallway in a few quick strides. A bright smile crept onto your face when you saw your girlfriend, cheeks and nose rosy from the cold evening breeze.
“Hi baby,” she mumbled against your skin when you pulled her in for a hug. “Congrats on the win, Le. I’m so happy for you all,” you felt her chuckle against you, not making any moves to leave the safety of your embrace yet. “I didn’t have a foot in any of that today, but thanks darling. It means a lot.”
She pulled away from your hug and looked at you, eyes slowly narrowing. “This, though,” she starts and points at the hat on her head, before taking it off. “Never again.”
You bit your lip to try and hide the smile that was inevitably going to form. "Don't laugh," Leah countered before you had a chance to even say anything. "You looked adorable, Le," you tried to quip back but she didn't want any of that. "I didn't! People were making fun of it too, it was horrible," you would've thought she was being serious and genuinely thought it was horrible if it wasn't for the way the corner of her lip tugged up into a slight smile.
"At least you weren't cold, hmm," you said in your defense before you pulled her back into you and pressed a firm kiss against her lips. Leah went to deepen it, slowly manoeuvring the both of you so your back was flush against the wall, her hands roaming across your front. But you had other ideas. You sneaked under the arm that she placed against the wall to trap you in and started making your way upstairs, causing her to almost bump her face into the wall.
"Oi, that's not fair!" "Catch me if you can, Smurfette!"
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elix8r · 4 hours
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Prada Shoes and I Love Yous
PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader 
GENRE: smut, angst, crack, (some?) fluff, college!au, exes to lovers!au, enemies to lovers!au, socialite/richkid!au
SUMMARY: Life as a socialite wasn’t all champagnes and designer labels, especially not with the turn your reputation took due to a simple misunderstanding. Now, you were being painted by everyone as a big fat cheater who shattered her sweet boyfriend’s heart—a narrative that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, it was him who had betrayed your trust. Frustrated and feeling deeply wronged, you returned to society and the new school year after a summer of cutting off contact with everyone and the drama. But just when you thought you were ready to face the world again, you were blindsided by something unexpected: the lingering effect Heeseung had on you. And who could blame you? Heeseung was way too hot for you to get over in just three short months and now, seeing him with the girl he once told you not to worry about all over him? Oh, it was on. 
You refused to be replaced, labeled as a crazy ex, or forgotten. No, you were going to make Lee Heeseung realize that you were the best motherfucking thing to had ever happened to him. 
WC: 21.4k
WARNINGS: some extent of emotionally cheating? (not actual cheating i swear it’s kinda unintentional), jake is a bestie and fwb hybrid (kinda flirty but it’s very much platonic i swear), so much miscommunication, profanity, drinking, drugs, physical altercation, mentions of puke, slut shaming, mentions of pregnancy (no one is actually pregnant), toxic relationship, roughdom!heeseung and sub!y/n, unprotected sex, oral (m recieving), rough sex, unprepped? sex (consensual), creampie, mirror sex, deepthroating, cowgirl, dick too big?, creampie, and i am so sorry but karina is a BITCH like it’s almost campy how villainess she comes off
AUTHOR'S NOTE: hope everyone has fun with this one!! had a lot of fun writing it like and i'd love to hear you guys' feedback! love you lots <3 ☺️
Fuck Lee Heeseung. Fuck Lee Heeseung. Fuck Lee Heeseung.
This was all you found yourself repeating in your mind like it was some mantra while you reapplied your lip gloss, making sure to take one last good look at yourself in the mirror before shutting it close once you felt the plane’s wheels coming to a stop. From the outside, you looked absolutely perfect as not a single hair could be found out of place; no one would’ve guessed that you had been on a plane for over 10 hours. But inside, you were a wreck as you felt your anxiety shooting up as your heart raced a million beats per minute.
“You need to loosen up, you look like you have a stick up your ass.” Jake was lazily scrolling on his phone while nursing a champagne in his hand, barely sparing a glance at you. He seemed to be in a much more relaxed state than you were.
You scoffed before sending him a glare. “You know, if anything, you should be the one panicking right now. Everyone’s going to be talking about how we came back together.”
“Good thing I don’t give a shit about what people say, right? Should’ve thought that through before inviting me,” Jake shrugged, finally lowering his phone to look at you. His nonchalant attitude was pissing you off. “Plus, this all just looks worse because Ryujin decided she wanted to spend one last week with whatever his name was.”
He wasn’t wrong. It hadn’t just been the two of you in Monaco for three months; Ryujin had also been very much present. However, she found herself a summer fling named Louis, and unlike you and Jake, she couldn’t find herself boarding your private jet without spending one last fiery week with her lover before saying goodbye for good and starting school again.
“Maybe we should have just stayed an extra week with her. It probably would have saved us from the shit show that I know we’re gonna be bombarded with the second we step off the plane.” You released a deep sigh before you started to gather your belongings around you.
Jake followed suit, grabbing his stuff and getting up from his seat. “Well, if we stayed back an extra week, then that would mean we’d have to deal with your mom’s wrath for missing her annual end-of-summer garden party that we promised we wouldn’t miss. You know how important it is for her, and to be honest, I’d rather face Heeseung’s wrath than your mom’s.”
He was right. This garden party of hers had been going on every year since even before you were born, and you’d be out of your mind to miss it. It was single-handedly the most important event every year for your family, and you couldn’t even begin to fathom how your mom would react to your absence.
You reached over and snatched the champagne glass out of his hand before you downed whatever was left in it in one gulp as you braced yourself, hoping the alcohol would give you the courage you needed to step off the plane. 
“Well, then I hope you’re prepared to take on Heeseung. Maybe he’ll be nice enough to spare your pretty face. God knows it’s the only thing you have going for you.”
Heeseung was going to fucking kill Jake Sim. 
When he woke up this morning, you were the last thing on his mind, something he seemed to have finally freed himself from. However, all the hard work he put into casting you away from his mind seemed to have been in vain, as now all he could think about was you and how you had returned after three months of radio silence with the guy you cheated on him with.
Livid didn’t even cover what he was feeling, and it was evident in the way he swung his club. Each hit seemed to be driven by a surge of pent-up frustration.
“What the hell, man? That’s the third time today you’ve been way off course. What’s going on?” Jay shot him an incredulous look as he tried to locate where the golf ball had landed.
Heeseung let out a frustrated groan as he ripped off his glove and shoved his driver back into his bag. “Y/N’s fucking back.”
That was all Jay needed to hear to understand what was going on with his friend. "Shit, I saw. I’m sorry dude, it’s fucked up."
Heeseung was in no mindset to be playing golf right now. All he wanted was to go back home and wallow miserably in his bed. Unfortunately, they were only on hole ten of eighteen, and judging by his performance today, Heeseung knew it was going to take awhile.
"Did you know?" Heeseung couldn't help but blurt out, his frustration evident in his voice as he watched Jay effortlessly swing a shot miles better than his own.
Confusion flickered across Jay's face as he turned to face his friend. "What do you mean?"
“Did you know that she was coming back with Jake?” Heeseung felt his jaw tense as he mentioned his ex-friend.
“I didn’t even know he was with her until today. Honestly, I thought he’d just fucked off somewhere and didn’t bother telling any of us, considering how things went down. You know me, I would’ve told you straight up if I had found out earlier.” Heeseung trusted Jay implicitly. He was as loyal as they came, but unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for everyone in their friend group.
"Do you think Sunghoon knew?" Heeseung's question elicited an audible groan from Jay.
If anyone in their friend group knew how Jake spent his summer, it would undoubtedly be Sunghoon. However, Sunghoon was notoriously tight-lipped, especially when it came to sensitive matters. Since the breakup, the entire friend group had undergone an incredibly awkward shift. It seemed that everyone had more or less chosen a side, and allegiances were clear.
"You know he wouldn't tell us anything if he did. It's getting ridiculous. The other day, I saw Gaeul and him having brunch or something at the clubhouse, and the moment she spotted me, she practically sprinted over to explain herself. She claimed she's still 'Switzerland' in the whole situation and hasn't chosen a side," Jay recounted, frustration evident in his voice. 
Heeseung almost snorted at the absurdity of it all. Their friend group had never been one to keep secrets or tiptoe around each other, but the last few months had been nothing but that. The betrayal by you and Jake had not only affected Heeseung's relationship with you but had also tainted the dynamic of their entire friend group.
“Literally, what is there to be ‘Switzerland’ about? I mean, this whole thing isn’t even complicated. Everyone saw them go into the bathroom together and come out literally holding hands. Trust me, I know what she looks like after giving head, and that's literally what she looked like in that video Beomgyu sent. Plus, Karina literally heard them.” Heeseung angrily got into the golf cart as Jay fished the keys out to start driving.
“Okay, well, no offense, but in all honesty, Karina’s probably not the most reliable source, cause she’s in an extremely biased position, but I guess that’s beside the point.” Jay’s words seemed to instantly bring a frown upon Heeseung’s face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heeseung’s tone sharply switched up in an almost defensive manner.
Jay, feeling this shift, nervously cleared his throat as he stammered, trying his best not to offend his already sensitive friend regarding an even more fragile situation. “I mean, uh, well. You know…”
“What?” The grip he had on the seat of the golf cart seemed to get tighter as he waited for his friend to elaborate.
“Dude, you can't be serious? You know Karina’s been trying to ride your dick for the past, what, give or take ten years? I mean, we all know that she’s never had a good relationship with Y/N, and I’m pretty sure most of that resentment stemmed from the fact that you’ve always been head over heels for Y/N.” Jay slowly parked the cart and turned off the engine as he explained.
Still not understanding Jay’s point, Heeseung furrowed his brows, shooting his friend another annoyed look before getting out of the golf cart. “What are you trying to get at?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re dense. I mean, the last couple of months before Y/N cheated on you was the closest you seemed to have gotten with Karina because of that final project that you guys had or whatever. I mean, you were with her more times than you were with your own girlfriend, and knowing Karina, she seems like she could be delusional enough to have maybe taken that as a sign that you were interested in her? I mean, this is all speculation, but I’m just letting you know what we all saw.”
Jay cautiously treaded this topic. Heeseung was his best friend since they were babies, and he would always be on his side, but Karina was never anyone’s favorite with her extremely polarizing personality. He had no allegiance towards her, not to mention that she wasn’t actually even in their friend group and always only ever found lingering around wherever Heeseung was, so it was much easier for Jay to actually see through her. In fact, it seemed that all of their friends could pretty much catch on to Karina’s end goal except Heeseung.
“So you think it’s my fault that Y/N cheated on me?” The air got tense as Heeseung snapped at Jay while snatching his 7-iron out of the bag. “Just because I spent some time doing a stupid fucking school project with Karina doesn’t mean it gives her reason to go and suck off one of my best friends.”
Jay shook his head even before Heeseung was done with his sentence. Heeseung seemed to not be getting the point. “Fuck no, dude, that’s not what I’m saying. Karina has an incentive: you. If she gets rid of Y/N, then it means you’re up for grabs. Of course, Karina didn’t force Y/N to get on her knees for Sim, but she was the first one to come running, telling us what happened even before Beomgyu sent that video.” Heeseung was trying hard to focus on trying to get his ball on the green as he geared up to swing while listening to Jay.
“So you don’t think she should’ve warned me of what she heard?” He swung precisely, but it seemed that this whole course, to be precise, wasn’t going easy on him. He’d be lucky to get even a double bogey on the par-4.
Jay slightly grimaced at Heeseung’s shot. “No, it’s not that,” he let out a sigh as he walked over to Heeseung. “Look, you’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know the past few months have been fucking hard because of what Y/N put you through, and I just want you to be careful. Karina’s always been kind of a conniving, spoiled bitch who finds a way to get what she wants. Just because she’s been warming your bed every night since Y/N fell off the fucking Earth doesn’t mean she should be someone you start trusting.”
There was nothing he could say back to his friend’s words and it seemed that what Jay had said clung on deep to Heeseung's thoughts throughout the day, casting a lingering shadow and leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mind.
A small bead of sweat trickled down your back as the sun's relentless heat beat down on you. You took a small sip from your now lukewarm glass of champagne, its warmth doing little to refresh you. Today felt even hotter than previous years, and once again, you found yourself questioning why your mother insisted on hosting her most important event during the hottest month of the year.
Your cheeks were hurting from all the forced smiles you’d already given to family friends and important figures in your mother’s business circle. This garden party was always about promoting her upcoming collection and ensuring the continued support, financial and otherwise (not that she needed any more money), of both new and old acquaintances and partners. So, as always, it was no surprise that you were dressed head to toe in unveiled pieces from your mother’s upcoming collection. While no one could deny her incredible eye for fashion and the breathtaking quality of her creations, the white-tiered tulle dress with its plunging neckline felt entirely too inappropriate for a garden party and was getting on your last nerve. You stood out like a peacock—a testament to your mother’s outstanding handiwork—but you weren't a fan of the attention it drew.
“I need to get out of this fucking dress,” you muttered through gritted teeth, your annoyance palpable. 
Jake chuckled softly beside you. “I can think of a few ways to get you out of that.” 
You shot him a sharp look, clearly unimpressed by his insinuation. “Don’t say shit like that, especially around everyone. It’s not funny.”
“What? No one's around to hear, and even if they did, it wouldn’t matter. Everyone already thinks we’re fucking, and to be fair, they’re not that off.” He shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. 
Without hesitation, you elbowed him hard in the ribs, your face growing even more pissed off. “That’s not funny, Jake. Seriously, shut up. It happened only a couple of times and that’s it. If anyone hears that, they’re actually going to think I cheated on Heeseung with you.” 
Your pretty face sported a cold, serious expression, leaving no doubt about how much this mattered to you.
“Honey, I told you, they already think you cheated on Heeseung with me, so this isn’t going to change anything. Besides, you know damn well it wasn’t just a couple of times,” Jake rolled his eyes at your dramatics.
“Yeah, well, the difference is that every time I slept with you was when I wasn’t dating him, so I didn’t actually cheat. You’re just making everything worse by making it seem like you’re confirming what they already assume.” Your irritation was through the roof, and the heat was doing nothing to quell your annoyance.
Before Jake could say anything else, your mother’s saccharine voice filled the space. For once, you were grateful for her impeccable timing. “Oh, darling, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
The event’s dress code was always an all-white affair, but even then, your mother seemed to shine brighter than any of the guests. You were almost taken aback when you fully turned to face her. “Hey, Mom.”
You flashed her a tight smile, but she barely spared you a glance, her attention focused entirely on the figure next to you. Jake seemed to stiffen under your mother’s gaze. “Hello, Jake. You seem to be enjoying yourself,” she said, giving his attire a quick once-over and humming in approval. “You look quite nice. Brioni, I’m assuming?”
“Yes, as usual, the event is beautiful Mrs. L/N. You’ve definitely outdone yourself,” he nervously chuckled. Despite his attempts at flattery, your mother’s cold gaze remained fixed on him. “And you’re right, it is a custom piece from Brioni.”
“Unsurprising, seeing that your father is rarely seen in anything else. Perhaps you could enlighten him to broaden his wardrobe, and maybe we can see about getting you a custom piece of mine. I have no doubt the materials I use are incomparable to much of what’s in your wardrobe already. Though, I’m sure you already know that, since it seems much of your time these days is spent taking my beautiful pieces off my daughter.”
“Mom!” You gasped loudly, your eyes widening in disbelief at her bold statement. Your mother was never one to hold back her words, but this was beyond her usual antics. Next to you, Jake stiffened even more, nervously trying to regain his composure.
"Uh, Mrs. Y/LN, I can assure you that whatever you think is happening between me and your daughter is not actually true," Jake stammered, his voice strained with tension.
Your mother clicked her tongue in annoyance, obviously not buying his claims. "Well, the conversation I overheard the two of you having before I came seemed to say something different."
“Mom, can we not do this here?” You darted your eyes around, making sure that no one else was catching on to what was happening.
“Well, darling, I would usually never impose myself like this in your personal relationships, but it seems like the two of you have brought not only our families into this but now also my business as collateral just for the sake of some mindless fucking.”
You had never heard your mother speak with such scandalous vocabulary before. Seeing her like this was beyond unsettling and left you utterly speechless.  
“Ma’am, I assure you that the rumors about our infidelity are not true at all. It’s been a huge misunderstanding that—"
"Jake, I've always held you in high regard, ever since you were a baby raised alongside my daughter. You've grown into a very smart and handsome young man, one your parents should be proud of. Out of respect for your mother, who you know is one of my closest and longest friends, I've tried to overlook what's been happening over the past few months. However, overhearing the two of you brazenly talking about your sexcapades in public, especially during one of the most important events of my year, is something I simply cannot ignore. This has not only strained my relationship with one of my closest business partners, but it has also jeopardized our families' standing. If anyone else had overheard, I can’t even begin to think how much worse the already damaging rumors would become."
“Mom seriously can you stop this,” you were furious that she would decide to do this here of all places. “This is fucking ridiculous and you know damn well that none of those stupid rumors are true. We can talk about this later, please.”
"I believe I'm entitled to speak as I please, especially considering this is my event," she retorted sharply. "Your father and I were generous enough to allow you to spend your entire summer break away without expecting you to address this mess you've created for us. I had hoped for better judgment from you. Instead, you and Jake decided to further exacerbate this situation by turning this trip into some sort of romantic getaway. I sure hope you were at least being smart and careful. The only thing that would make this situation worse is if you were to become pregnant. Who knows, you might even be pregnant right now. It wouldn’t even surprise me seeing as though that seems to be the only thing the two of you were doing in Monaco.” 
Jake was a stuttering mess, his face flushed with embarrassment at the accusation. "Mrs. Y/LN, I swear that's not true," he managed to stammer out.
Before he could say anything else, your mother cut him off again. "I'm not so sure I can trust you on that. How can you be so sure that you didn't knock up my daughter?"
You were seething with anger at your mother's behavior, ready to intervene when suddenly a figure caught your eye. 
Heeseung's fist connected with Jake's jaw before you even had a chance to react. The punch caught Jake off guard, and as he tried to recover, Heeseung landed another swift blow to his face. 
"You got her pregnant?" Heeseung's voice was filled with anger as he launched himself at Jake, who was still reeling from the first two punches.
“What the fuck!” Jake groaned, struggling to fend off Heeseung's relentless assault.
Beside you, your mother was in a panic, shouting for security as everyone's attention turned to the commotion that erupted in front of you.
Before you could step in, Jay appeared out of nowhere, desperately trying to pull his friend away from their former friend.
"Heeseung, stop!" you screamed, rushing to Jay's aid.
But Heeseung was relentless, disregarding his surroundings entirely. All sense of decorum was abandoned as he straddled Jake, who was attempting to dodge Heeseung's blows while pushing him away.
From the other side, Sunghoon came running over to help pull Heeseung off of Jake. "Jesus Christ, Heeseung, get off him!"
After a couple of seconds of struggle, the three of you were finally able to pull Heeseung off of Jake, though he continued to struggle in attempts to break free. Security, called by your mother, arrived and joined in to help restrain the enraged boy.
Jake laid on the grass, his previously pristine custom white suit dirtied with splatters of blood and dirt from rolling around. Heeseung didn't look much better, his own suit now stained with blood, evidence of the fight. Despite being at a disadvantage, Jake had managed to land a few good punches, evidenced by the blood dripping from Heeseung’s nose. It was a chaotic scene, with whispers and murmurs from the other guests confirming their attention on the altercation. You could sense your mother's fury, even without seeing her directly.
"What the hell is this?" A gruff voice angrily interrogated.
Heeseung’s father had never been an easy person to be around, so you couldn’t even imagine how angry he currently was at his son’s behavior.
However, Heeseung seemed not to hear his father, his eyes staying trained on Jake, who was getting up with Sunghoon's help.
“Oh my, Liz, I am so sorry. I’m appalled; I genuinely am. I'm so embarrassed. I don’t know what came over him.” Heeseung’s mom quickly ran over to where your mother stood with fury and attempted to sincerely apologize.
“We are leaving.” Heeseung’s dad yanked his son from the security’s grip and started to drag him away, but not before also turning towards your mom with a stern look. “Yes, we apologize for our son’s behavior. We hope it didn’t ruin this beautiful event, and we will be excusing ourselves. Thank you for having us.”
You were still in shock with everything, and it seemed that everyone else was too, as no one moved and stood in silence, taking in everything that had happened. There was no way this just happened.
To say the last couple of days had been hell for you would be an understatement. Honestly, it felt even worse than the days following your breakup with Heeseung, when you could at least pack your bags and leave the country. But this time, with school starting in a week, that luxury would unfortunately not be granted to you a second time. Your parents were adamant that you face the mess head-on and frankly you found yourself wishing that you never returned from Monaco.
To make matters worse, Ryujin still wasn’t back. While she called every day, you still felt alone, especially since you hadn’t talked to Jake since your mom’s party. Rumors about your supposed pregnancy were rampant, further emphasizing your alleged infidelity, and you figured it was best to get some space from Jake until the rumors died down.
With nothing to do, you found yourself doing things you’d never normally do—like wandering down the chip aisle, looking for something to make you feel better about your situation.
“No, Ryujin, you don’t get it,” you huffed into the phone, frustration evident in your voice as you searched desperately for anything that sounded good. “I’ve gotten DMs from random people I’ve barely spoken to, asking if I’m actually pregnant and how far along I am. I’m so fucking sick of this.”
“Oh babe, I’m so sorry. This sucks so bad. It’s literally so fucking absurd and Heeseung was so stupid for this like I still can’t believe he did that.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be there soon so just hold on,” Ryujin sounded sincere as the sound of waves echoed in the background. You envied your friend, who was probably at the beach right now, getting a nice tan with her hot beau, and not miserably suffering in this stupid predicament like you were.
“Ugh, I can’t wait until you’re here. I’m like seriously going through it and I just hope it’ll die down once school starts, but I doubt it because—”
“Y/N?” 
You were abruptly cut off by a shrill voice. Even before you turned your head to face them, you knew exactly who it was and found yourself unable to hold back an exasperated groan. “Fuck, I’ll call you later, Ryujin.”
Karina had always been one of the most beautiful girls you knew, even from a young age and you couldn’t deny that she looked stunning now, even under the horrendously yellow dim lights of the grocery store. But, like always, she had a knack for bringing out a grimace on your face, which you sported as you turned to face her.
“Oh my God, no way! I thought it was you earlier but I was like, no way is The Y/N out shopping for groceries. But honestly, who else could it be? I mean, you’re unmistakable.” Karina held a shopping basket in one hand that barely had anything in it. She was dressed like she was about to attend a charity gala, a stark contrast to your Lululemon shorts and an old shirt from Heeseung’s closet.
“Hey, Karina,” was all you could let out before she animatedly started speaking again, not giving you a second to talk. 
"It's been so long! I mean, how long has it been since we last saw each other? You didn’t even say goodbye to any of us and just left but you look great, especially considering—oh, and congrats! Honestly, I was actually worried it would be awkward between us, but once I heard the news, all my worries disappeared. You and Jake seem so happy together, and you have no idea how thrilled I was when I heard that you guys are about to start a family. It’s so cute and I now know that there's no reason for me to worry about you getting mad about me and Heeseung. Although I was a little surprised your boyfriend attacked mine like that, but I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.” 
Karina spoke without pausing, giving you no time to digest her words and she didn’t seem to notice your growing annoyance as she continued to babble with that smug look on her face.
“Wait hold on, you and Heeseung are dating?” There was no way you heard her right.
But it seemed that you did as she nodded with a bright smile on her face. “Yeah it’s still kind of new only a couple of months but it’s been amazing. I mean I’m sure you know just as well that he’s like literally the best.” Her voice slowly drowned out as you took everything in. A couple of months ago was literally when you left for Monaco so it meant that Heeseung didn’t waste any time to make Karina his girlfriend. 
“What the fuck, Karina?” You didn’t hold back, making sure she knew you were beyond enraged at this new revelation.
Her face held a surprised expression as you cut her off abruptly. “I’m sorry, but what do you mean?”
You rolled your eyes. You knew she understood exactly what you were talking about, and it infuriated you that she was pretending otherwise. You knew Karina too well; she was reveling in the fact that she currently had something you didn’t for the first time in her life.
“Drop the act, Karina. I don’t have time for this shit. We both know exactly what you’re trying to do, and it’s pathetic. You and your friends can call me a slut for supposedly cheating on Heeseung, but it’s rich coming from you when you and Heeseung literally did the same thing. Not to mention the fact that you two didn’t even wait a decent amount of time before getting together after he and I broke up. So honestly, I hope you’re both happy and sincerely, fuck you both.” 
You didn't bother to stick around to hear whatever else she had to say. As you turned and walked away, you felt your eyes welling up with tears. You thought you were over Heeseung, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. The revelation of his new relationship pulled at your heartstrings, making you wonder if you ever really mattered to him the way he did to you. Nothing hurt more than realizing that the two year-long relationship you cherished above all else might have been a joke to him.
“Ryujin, I really don’t think I’m up for going out,” you sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror. Ryujin, on the other side of the room, was finishing her makeup at the vanity.
“No way, I told you, you’re not staying holed up moping around because of Heeseung again. You already did that in Monaco, and I’m not letting you waste any more time on that asshole. You’re coming out with us, and you are going to have an amazing night.”
Ryujin had finally come back the day before, and while having her by your side made you feel better, you couldn’t stop thinking about your ex.
“I seriously doubt one night of drinking and partying will make Heeseung disappear from my thoughts,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. You knew Ryujin would end up dragging you out, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t complain the whole time.
“I think you’re underestimating the power of a good night out. Who knows, maybe you’ll find some hottie to get your mind off everything,” Ryujin shrugged while spritzing perfume. “Maybe you should go looking for Jake.”
You shook your head at her. “Jake’s not going to help.”
“Well actually, from what I remember I think Jake helped a good bit with speeding up the process of you getting over moping about Heeseung a couple of months ago so who’s to say that it won’t work this time?” 
“I am not sleeping with Jake again. That would literally make everything like so much worse. Everyone already thinks I’m pregnant with his kid. I don’t need more things to fuel that rumor.”
Ryujin wasn’t wrong about your summer situationship with Jake helping to distract you, but continuing it back here would only add fuel to the fire. Not to mention, your relationship with Jake was purely platonic with some sexual attraction. That was all it ever was even back in high school, and you had both talked at length about how neither of you saw a relationship beyond friendship. So even if you went to him looking for something more, Jake ultimately wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted.
“Well then there’s other people! What about-” You cut her off abruptly.
You cut her off abruptly. “Ryujin, I know you’re just trying to help, and I really do appreciate it, but I just think sleeping with other people isn’t going to solve anything. I just want to lay low this semester and focus on school. I don’t want to be wrapped up in more drama.” Done with the conversation, you grabbed your purse, suddenly more eager to get to the party if it meant changing the subject.
“Ready to go?” you asked, and just like that, her eyes lit up and a wide, giddy smile spread across her face as she eagerly followed you out.
The Uber ride was short, and before you knew it, you had arrived. Hyunjin was known for throwing the best parties, and tonight was no exception. The massive manor, which you were all too familiar with, was already buzzing with more people than you imagined his parents would ever find acceptable.
“Hey, there you guys are!” Ryujin’s close friend Yujin, who you were also friendly with, excitedly ran over to greet you both. She had been studying abroad for 6 months and you hadn’t seen her since so you were even more elated to see her. 
“Hey, Yujin! It’s been a while! You and Sunoo looked like you were having the time of your lives in Italy.” You greeted her warmly, following her inside as she led you to where all the drinks were.
“Oh yeah, it was beyond amazing, but I’m sure nothing compares to Monaco. God, I haven’t been there in ages.” She poured out shots and passed them to you and Ryujin. Without hesitation, the three of you knocked them back, grimacing slightly at the aftertaste.
“Fuck, I already miss it. It took like an hour to say goodbye to Louis, and I was so upset for the first 30 minutes of the plane ride. But the good thing about summer flings is that after the goodbyes, there's nothing left to hold onto, so it’s easy to get over.” Ryujin poured another shot for both of you while Yujin reached for a can of Ranch Water.
“I literally thought they were going to try something serious since she was with him all summer. Half the time, I couldn’t even find her because she and Louis were off somewhere, but I guess he really was just a summer fling.” You nudged your friend as Yujin let out an amused giggle.
“I bet! Those pics on your most recent Insta post, man, they were hot. What about you, Y/N? Any European hotties catch your eye?” Yujin wiggled her brows, and you rolled your eyes while reaching behind her for a can of Ranch Water.
“More like an Australian hottie,” Ryujin teased, and you instantly elbowed her.
“Jesus Christ, Ryujin, seriously shut up.” You shot her an annoyed look.
Yujin, however, seemed to find amusement in Ryujin’s remark as she gave you a wide-eyed look while giggling. “No way, so it’s true then?”
“Fuck no. I mean yeah, we hooked up, but I swear to God I’m not pregnant.” You shook your head vehemently.
You saw Yujin open her mouth, but Ryujin beat her to it, grabbing your arm. “Don’t turn around.”
Your brows furrowed at her panicked actions, and you started to turn your head, but she quickly stopped you. “What? What happened?”
“Fuck, Heeseung’s here,” Yujin answered, her eyes darting around past your head. “He’s over there near the pool table. Don’t turn around.”
You stood still, heart racing, as you listened to your friends' directions. You saw Ryujin's expression shift from panic to a scowl.
“And he brought Karina. She’s stuck on him like a fucking leech,” Ryujin sneered. Even before the summer, Ryujin had always been Karina’s number one hater, so her reaction was no surprise.
Quickly, you decided it would be best to leave the area, and the girls seemed to think the same as the three of you started to move. But before you could take a step out of the kitchen, a booming voice caught your attention.
“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s voice echoed through the music, loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear. You stiffened as you realized your presence was now exposed to everyone.
“Fuck, it’s been a long time!” He approached with a massive smile and, before you could even respond, engulfed you in a tight hug. Behind him, you spotted Jake trailing close by, rolling his eyes at his friend.
"Hey, Sunghoon," you greeted him back, debating whether to reciprocate the hug he wasn't letting go of.
"Okay, buddy, that's enough," Jake intervened, yanking his friend back.
"Oh, princess, you got even prettier while you were away! If that's even possible, but damn, you look amazing," Sunghoon's red, dopey eyes hinted at his intoxicated state.
"He's crossed," Jake confirmed, as if reading your mind.
"Oh God, why did you let him do that again?" Ryujin scolded Jake, delivering a disapproving look along with a smack on his arm.
"What the fuck! I'm not his babysitter," Jake retorted, shooting Ryujin a pointed look.
"Well, he is your best friend," you shrugged.
"I'm totally fine, you guys worry too much," Sunghoon shot everyone a smile before reaching for the drink in your hand, which you quickly pulled away.
"Yeah, Sunghoon, maybe lay off the drinking and smoking for now. I think I still have the video from the last time you got crossed," Yujin remarked, raising a skeptical brow at his current state. The mention of the video drew snorts of amusement from everyone except Sunghoon.
Instead, Sunghoon's eyes widened at her words, shaking his head vigorously. "I swear that won’t happen tonight."
"Well, it might if you keep this up," Ryujin added, recalling the infamous incident the last time Sunghoon was in this state. It involved projectile vomiting on a girl followed by passing out on her, effectively ruining any chance he might have had with her.
"Whatever," Sunghoon rolled his eyes, turning away, but before he could even take a step, he turned right back around (unsteadily with Jake stepping in to steady him), and blurted out, "Heeseung's here."
You could hear Jake cursing under his breath at Sunghoon’s words, while Ryujin nodded.
"Yeah, we were trying to sneak out of the kitchen before they noticed us, and then you had to go and yell Y/N’s name," Ryujin added.
"Oh," Sunghoon sheepishly nodded. "My bad."
"Does he have to fucking bring her everywhere?" Jake muttered, casting another glance towards where Heeseung and Karina were.
"You know, I even heard Jay’s getting sick of her tagging along everywhere."
"Where’d you hear that?" You shot Sunghoon a suspicious look.
“Gaeul.”
"She still hangs out with them?" Ryujin scoffed, clearly annoyed.
"She claims to be the neutral party between us."
“So she’s still being a fucking dumbass?” Ryujin shot back, clearly unimpressed with their friend’s stance.
"Well, she still reports everything back to us, so it's not all bad," Jake tried to reason, but Ryujin wasn't buying it.
From next to you, Yujin chuckled. "Your friend group is so fucking messy, thank God I'm not involved. I'm going to find Hyunjin for some weed. Good luck sorting out your drama." She shot you a wink before briskly walking away before anyone could respond.
"Are we really that messy?" Sunghoon asked innocently, but before anyone could answer, he vomited everywhere.
You were cursing under your breath as you tried to wash the puke out of your shorts, fuming at Park Sunghoon. Thankfully, they were black, so staining wasn't an issue, but standing in your underwear in a house party bathroom, scrubbing your pants instead of enjoying the night, was infuriating. Even if you managed to clean them, you'd be stuck wearing damp pants for the rest of the night.
As you wrung out the fabric, desperate to dry them as much as possible, the bathroom door suddenly swung open.
“Oh! Sorry— Y/N?” Heeseung’s eyes widened in surprise when he realized not only that someone was already in the bathroom but that it was you.
In your haste to escape Sunghoon's vomit, you must have forgotten to lock the door. Naturally, Heeseung had to be the one to barge in.
The two of you stood there awkwardly, each taking in the other's appearance. It was technically your first real encounter since your return, discounting the brief moment at your mother's garden party before Heeseung was promptly escorted away by his parents.
He looked way too good, enough to stir butterflies in your stomach. It was unsettling how Heeseung could still have this effect on you after everything that had happened.
"Hey, Y/N," he greeted cautiously, breaking the silence. The tension in the room was palpable.
"Hey, Heeseung," you replied, unsure of how to navigate the awkwardness.
"Sunghoon was right," he blurted out abruptly, his words coming out in a rush before he could stop himself.
Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What?"
"I-I mean, he said... that you look even prettier now," Heeseung stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I mean, not that you weren't pretty before, but, um... yeah." 
Your cheeks warmed at his unexpected compliment. This wasn't how you had imagined your first conversation with him after coming back would go. 
"Uh, thanks."
A few more uncomfortable seconds ticked by before Heeseung finally seemed to notice your state. "Uh, what are you doing?"
You had completely forgotten about your current attire—just in your underwear, a lacy black thong that had driven Heeseung wild a few months ago.
"Oh, Sunghoon threw up on me after getting crossed," you explained, shaking your head in annoyance as you returned to wringing out your shorts.
"Again? Fuck, he really needs to learn not to do that. If he had a nickel for every time he puked on a pretty girl while he was crossed, he'd have two," Heeseung remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh. There was no way you were actually laughing at your cheating ex’s jokes. 
Heeseung seemed to relax a bit upon hearing your giggles, joining in with a laugh of his own.
"Here, let me help. There's probably a dryer around here somewhere," he offered, finally deciding to step into the bathroom as he closed the door behind him. He bent down, rifling through a couple of cabinets until he found what he was looking for.
"Fuck, I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier," you muttered, taking the dryer from him and plugging it in before switching it on.
He reached over to hold your shorts for you while you dried them. After a few minutes, you turned off the dryer, confident your shorts were dry enough by now. "Thanks," you said, taking them from him.
As you looked up at him, you suddenly became aware of the closeness between the two of you. Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes locked with his.
Fuck he was hot.
You could feel the all-too-familiar warmth spreading throughout your body as the two of you held each other's gaze, neither daring to look away. Slowly, almost as if guided by muscle memory, you inched your faces closer until you could feel his breath on your lips, poised to kiss him. But a small voice in your head stopped you before you could fully lean in.
“Wait.” 
Heeseung instantly pulled back. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"No, no it's not that. I can’t do that to Karina," you hurriedly explained, shaking your head. Tears threatened to spill over as the pain of Heeseung's past betrayal resurfaced. Despite any animosity toward Karina, you couldn't bring yourself to inflict that same hurt on anyone else.
"What?" Heeseung furrowed his brows, confusion etched across his face as he looked at you.
"Heeseung, you can't just fucking cheat on her after you cheated on me with her!" You shot him an incredulous look, unable to believe how close he had come to infidelity once again.
His head shook vehemently, confusion clouding his eyes. "What do you mean? If anything, you're the one who's cheating!"
"Jesus Christ, for the last fucking time, I'm not dating Jake!" You yelled in frustration.
“And I’m not dating Karina!”
The two of you stared at each other, mutual confusion now evident, leaving you both speechless.
“What?” 
"Yeah, I'm not dating her! And what do you mean you're not dating Jake?" Heeseung shot back, equally bewildered.
"I literally saw her a couple of days ago, and she told me the two of you had been dating for a couple of months," you said, watching Heeseung shake his head in disbelief.
"What the fuck! She's fucking lying, we are not dating, let alone have been dating. That fucking bitch, literally what the fuck," Heeseung was beyond pissed.
You scoffed, equally heated. "Karina was literally rubbing it in my face about how happy you two were. And for your information, I have never dated Jake."
"What the fuck, Y/N? I fucking punched him!" Heeseung felt like he was going insane. Everything he had believed for the past few months was suddenly a lie.
You rolled your eyes at his outburst. "Yeah, I fucking know. I was there, if you remember! He still has a fucking split lip because of you, and my mom's still beyond mad about it."
You had to be lying, Heeseung couldn’t believe your words. “There’s no fucking way.”
“Yeah you fucking dumbass, you beat him up for nothing.” 
“Wait, wait, wait no it’s still fucking justified! He was one of my best friends who went on and fucking slept with my girlfriend!” There was no way the two of you were actually having this conversation at a raging party after not seeing each other for three months.
"No, he didn't! Or at least not while we were dating, and I'm also not fucking pregnant!" Your voice echoed in the cramped bathroom. You were still intoxicated and could feel a headache coming on. 
"Fuck you! Literally, everyone saw you two that night," Heeseung retorted sharply, but before he could continue, it seemed he fully absorbed your words, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. "So you have been fucking Jake!"
"Yeah, but only after we broke up, not before! And you can't be acting all innocent when you've literally been with Karina!" You were annoyed by his accusatory tone. He was such a fucking hypocrite.
"Okay, but I didn't blatantly sleep with her at a party while we were still together like you did—"
You cut him off by smashing your lips against his, needing to silence him in any way possible. You couldn't stand another moment of arguing about this.
You could feel Heeseung freeze for a second, taken aback by your action, but he quickly recovered as you could feel his lips move against yours. 
There was nothing romantic about the kiss as the two of you hungrily pushed back against each other, fighting for dominance. Teeth clashed against each other as your tongues battled back and forth and you could barely breathe, but it seemed that neither of you considered stopping anytime soon. 
His hands quickly found themselves ripping your top off you as yours went straight down to undo his pants and push them down. You finally pulled away from the kiss to spit on your hand before going straight back into his lips. Not a second was spared to think about your actions as you didn’t hesitate to stick your hand down his underwear. He was already half-hard and you quickly wrapped your hand around his length, inciting a groan out of him. 
While one hand worked on pushing down his underwear the other worked on pumping him. Heeseung was in almost the same state as one of his hands was found groping at your boobs, playing with your nipple, while the other also attempted to pull your underwear down.
As soon as your thong reached mid-thigh, Heeseung quickly broke the kiss to turn you around and roughly push you down against the bathroom counter. You jolted at the cold counter pressing against your already sensitive nipples but Heeseung pushed down hard on your back so you couldn’t lift yourself up. You looked helpless in the mirror and without warning you felt his dick plunging deep inside of you.
You gasped at the intrusion. Sharp pain erupted within you as tears welled in your eyes and you could do nothing except tightly squeeze them shut while your hands desperately attempted to grab at anything to hold on to. Heeseung had started to fuck you without even giving you a second to adjust and your cries filled the bathroom. 
You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long and sure Jake was a freak in bed with a big dick but he had never considered fucking you before making sure you were prepped. No, this was Heeseung’s specialty. He fucking loved it and you couldn’t help but also find yourself loving the pain that came with his pleasure. 
“Fucking slut, look at yourself,” Heeseung growled in your ear before roughly grabbing your hair and pulling it back, forcing you to face yourself in the mirror. 
“Please, Heeseung,” you could barely moan out. 
His hand gripped your hip so tightly that he knew bruises from his fingers were sure to be left afterward and his eyes were crazed as he battered himself even harder against your cervix, giving you no respite.
“What? What else could you want, I’m already fucking you. Greedy whore.” You felt yourself clench tighter around him as you heard his words. You were almost there as you could feel the tight coil just about ready to snap.
“Oh fuck, Heeseung harder,” you screamed. 
Heeseung did just as you asked and as if it was possible, you felt him force himself even deeper inside you at a faster pace. You knew he was battering deep at your cervix, but you were too focused on chasing your orgasm that you couldn’t even care for the dull aching pain. His hand in your hair pushed your head against the mirror and you found yourself unable to stop yourself from drooling and fogging up the mirror. His animalistic grunts filled your ear and the grip in your hair got tighter. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You screamed out as the coil snapped and you felt yourself reaching your ultimate high. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you slumped against the mirror, having no strength to hold yourself up.
Heeseung was also close as you felt his cock twitch inside you and before you knew it, warm spurts of cum painted inside of you as you felt him thrust a couple of more times while he panted. He came so much that you could even feel some drip down the inside of your thighs.
“Fuck,” he breathed out as he slowly pulled out, watching his cum drip out of you and land on the bathroom floor. 
You were still slumped against the mirror, attempting to catch your breath and process what had just happened.
As your eyes connected with Heeseung’s through the mirror, a rush of emotions overwhelmed you. The weight of what the two of you had just done bore down on you, and shame began to smother you, making you feel like you were suffocating. You couldn't stay there with him a moment longer. Quickly, you dressed yourself, doing your best to ignore the aching pain between your legs. Heeseung looked confused by your sudden change, but before he could say anything, you were out the door, leaving him to dwell on the implications of your actions.
You honestly hadn’t been listening to anything Ryujin had been saying for the past couple of minutes as she rambled on. Instead, you stared at the piece of salmon on your plate, analyzing each line that ran through the fish. If you didn’t focus on this, your mind would start drifting back to what happened yesterday, and you'd rather shoot yourself in the foot than think about that.
“Hey, Y/N, are you even listening?” Ryujin raised her voice, trying to get your attention.
Snapping out of it, you finally took your eyes away from your dinner and looked up at her. “Oh, sorry, I got distracted.”
“Yeah, no shit. I’ve been talking to you, and you went catatonic or something. What is up with you?” She furrowed her brows at your unusual behavior.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” you quickly responded, but you knew the second she put her utensils down that she wasn’t buying it.
“Don’t fucking try to lie to me. I can see through your bullshit. What’s wrong?” Her gaze was intense, analyzing you as if there would be an external sign explaining your strange behavior.
You sighed, debating whether to tell her exactly what had happened. Deciding against it, you realized that if you opened that can of worms, things would get even messier. “Uhm, I don’t know, I guess I’m just still hungover.”
“You didn’t even drink that much yesterday, though,” she said, brows still furrowed. She had noticed you hadn’t come out of your room all day and had to literally drag you out just to get dinner with her.
“Are you sick? You don’t really look sick though.”
You shook your head, searching for anything to blame your odd behavior on. “Uhm, I just think I bruised my cervix, and it just hurts.”
Her eyes instantly widened, and you could see her holding back a grin. “Oh my fucking God, you slut. You had me thinking something actually bad had happened! When did you and Sim even run off to fuck?”
You sighed in relief, glad that she was distracted by the news you had just dropped on her. She didn’t notice the lingering look in your eyes that indicated there was actually something deeper driving you mad.
“Uh, quickie in the bathroom. I don’t know, you were probably too drunk to notice.”
She hummed while nodding. “Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I don’t really remember much after Sunghoon puked everywhere. But fuck, a bruised cervix from a quickie is insane. Oh, Yujin is going to love this.”
“Yeah, it’s a fucking bitch. I feel like I’m sitting on a knife or something,” you said. You weren’t lying about this part—you were sure Heeseung had actually bruised your cervix with how hard he fucked you last night—but you were fine letting her think you had slept with Jake instead.
“Oh, my poor baby. No wonder you’ve been in bed all day. Let’s just get this boxed up and head back to the apartment. Geez, I’m gonna have to have a talk with Jake later.” You flashed her a smile, nodding at her suggestion, glad that this not only got her off your back but also got you out of having to stay another thirty minutes at this restaurant.
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹: 
if anyone asks we fucked last night kk?
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
wtf
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
no questions pls 
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
fuck that what’d u do 🤨
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
none of your business go back to playing               roblox with riki or something 🙄
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
THAT WAS ONE TIME
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
fuck you
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
tell me!!!!! you made it my business when you dragged my dick into whatever it is so i deserve to know 😤
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
i bruised my cervix
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
HUH
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
NO I’M NOT TAKING THE BLAME FOR THAT??
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
everyone’s gonna think you have a big dick
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
bet 🙂‍↕️ 
The rest of the weekend passed without Ryujin or anyone else probing into your life, and you couldn’t have been happier. There were so many moments where you debated whether or not you should reach out to Heeseung, but you quickly dismissed the idea. Besides, you had blocked him on everything, and you were sure he had done the same, so there would be no point in trying.
Distracted by thoughts of Heeseung, it had completely slipped from your mind that school was starting back on Monday. Last night (thanks to Ryujin of course), you hurriedly packed your school bag and made sure you had everything for the first day.
And while you usually enjoyed school, just from today, you already felt overwhelmed. It seemed that all your professors had decided to assign work and readings for the next class. You were already swamped with assignments, feeling the weight of the semester ahead.
“Okay, but don’t you think I at least deserve to know who you slept with?” Jake's voice cut through your thoughts as you walked through the library shelves, searching for a book your professor had assigned out of nowhere that wasn’t even mentioned in the syllabus. You had been barely listening to his yapping as most of your focus was on finding the book. 
“Ryujin won’t stop talking my ear off about how I broke you and how you couldn’t move all weekend. She thinks I’m an ass and won’t stop scolding me like I’m the one who did it! I’m a gentleman—I’d never bruise anyone’s cervix without permission,” Jake said with an exasperated tone, trailing behind you.
“I’m pretty sure gentlemen, at least the ones i know don’t beg on their knees for anal-”
He cut you off, his eyes widening. “Alright, alright! That was one time and I was drunk. Jesus, woman! And don’t act like you didn’t let me do it—you were perfectly fine with it. Either way, I still feel like I should know who the fella is.”
“Please don’t say fella, it’s such a turn-off.” You scrunched your face at his choice of vocabulary, shaking your head before turning back to search for your book.
“Okay, fine, whatever. I just want to know who I’m protecting from Ryujin’s annoying ass, and honestly, I think Sunghoon overheard her, so now we can assume the whole school knows.” It was well-known that once any news hit Sunghoon, it spread through the school like wildfire. He had a bit of a loose lip and an affinity for gossip, making him the school’s personal Deuxmoi, but with none of the anonymity (maybe Perez Hilton was a better comparison).
“I’m serious, Jake, you don’t want to know. Just leave it. You owe me anyway.” By now, you were growing increasingly irritated with Jake’s relentless probing and the fact that you still couldn’t find the damn book.
He shot you an incredulous look. “Owe you for what? Now you’re just making up debts that don’t even exist!”
“Anal,” you replied without missing a beat, already smiling, knowing his reaction.
“Oh my God, Y/N, fuck you literally! Geez, if someone had told me this was the price I had to pay for putting it in the ass once, I wouldn’t have even touched it with a ten-foot pole,” Jake exclaimed, and you couldn’t help but giggle. You loved to mess with Jake, especially because he was always so overly dramatic and had the best reactions.
“Seriously, Jake, you don’t want to know. You did your job, so thanks, but please stop bothering me about this.” You flashed him an exaggerated smile and patted him on the head.
Jake’s eyes widened, and he stopped in his tracks. “No fucking way.”
“What?” You didn’t like how he was staring at you.
“Please don’t tell me you slept with Heeseung.” The smile on your face instantly vanished as you froze at his words. How the fuck did he know?
“No fucking way. You just slept with the enemy? Are you kidding me? Do you see this?” He gestured dramatically at his face. “This is the aftermath of my survival from his wrath and proof that I fought valiantly for you. And you go ahead and sleep with him? Oh my God, and you made everyone think I fucked up your vagina when it was actually him? Holy shit, wait until Ryujin hears about this.” You quickly reached over and clamped your hand over his mouth, realizing how absurdly loud he was being in the library.
“Shut the fuck up, you’re practically screaming! And what the fuck are you even talking about? Of course, I would never sleep with Heeseung.” You did your best to mask your surprise, hoping he wouldn’t catch on.
Jake shook his head, scoffing in disbelief. “You’re such a shit liar. The only other time I remember your cervix getting bruised was when Heeseung fucked you on that yacht last Christmas. Remember how you had a hard time sitting straight at Christmas dinner?”
Fuck, he got you there.
You sighed and reluctantly nodded, closing your eyes in frustration. “Okay, fine. But please don’t tell Ryujin, Sunghoon, or anyone else. I already feel like shit about it, and my self-worth is in the gutter right now. I’ve been sick all weekend just thinking about it.”
“He didn’t force you or anything, right?” Jake's face shifted to one of genuine concern, his brows knitting together.
You shook your head. “No, of course not. It’s just that I regret it so much. I felt so gross afterward. It was just a really, really bad drunken mistake, and I don’t want to talk about it. Seriously, thanks for covering for me. You’re literally the best because I really don’t want anyone to find out. I just want to forget about it.”
Jake studied you for a moment, clearly understanding how much this was affecting you. He nodded, reaching out to give you a comforting hug, which you gratefully returned while you let out a sigh. “Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t say anything. Just let me know if he tries anything else or if you need anything.”
The hug was comforting, a small balm for the turmoil of the weekend. You were relieved he didn’t press further or make you feel worse about what happened. However, as you started to pull away, a familiar voice sliced through the air, bringing with it an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Jake’s groan confirmed the arrival of the last person you wanted to see.
“In the library is kinky, but what can I expect from the two of you? Always so classy,” Karina’s smug tone cut through the air. You and Jake quickly broke from the hug, and you rolled your eyes as you faced her, already irritated by her presence.
“Are you stupid or like blind? Cause obviously if you weren’t then you’d be able to clearly see we were just hugging you fucking dumbass,” Jake snapped back, his tone sharp. Normally, you’d find his sass amusing, but Karina’s presence seemed to have sucked out any potential humor in the air.
“Jesus, Jake, you’re such an ass,” Karina snapped back at him before turning her attention to you. “Get your dog on a leash, would you? Maybe you should have been more careful about who you chose to have a kid with. The anger issues are seriously concerning with this one, not to mention the aggression. Heard about what happened over the weekend.”
“Karina literally shut the fuck up. You know damn well I’m not pregnant. It’s not even funny anymore; you’re just dragging it out. Just fucking mind your own business,” you snapped, your anger bubbling over. You could see Jake’s jaw clenched tight, his irritation matching your own.
“Well actually it kind of is my business 'cause Heeseung has been MIA all weekend, and I can’t help but wonder—since you’re such a slut—if you had something to do with it. The past few months since you two left were perfect, but the second you come back, everything seems to be fucked up. So tell me, what the hell happened at the party?” Karina’s sneer was almost unbearable, and you fought the urge to slap her.
“Maybe he finally realized what a fucking bitch you are.”Jake’s voice was laced with disdain. If Ryujin was Karina’s biggest hater, Jake wouldn’t be far behind her. Even as kids he hated even having to sit at the same table as her so his hostility towards her was all too familiar for you.
Karina ignored him as her glare remained fixed on you. Her pretty face now twisted into a deep frown and you knew she was pissed. It was a stark contrast to the fake friendliness she’d shown you just a week ago at the grocery store.
“I didn’t fucking do anything, and I don’t want anything to do with him, so fuck off. Seriously. Maybe Jake’s right—he finally realized how much of a clingy piece of shit you are,” you shot back, frustration evident in your voice. You should have known that Karina would notice Heeseung missing from her side for a good portion of Friday night.
Karina’s expression hardened as she took a step closer, unyielding. “You’re such a shit liar. What did you do?”
“This is bullshit. Let’s fucking go,” Jake said, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. Neither of you wanted to spend another second there.
“You know he said I did it better than you, right?” Karina’s taunt was intended to provoke, and it did just that. You froze, feeling her words hit hard despite knowing she was just trying to get under your skin.
“C’mon, let’s go. Don’t fucking listen to her,” Jake urged, tugging you along again. As much as you tried to ignore her, her words had a lingering effect, and you hated that they got under your skin.
You didn’t care that this was your last year in college; you were convinced that you needed to transfer anywhere far away from here. There was no way you could endure a whole year of torment from Heeseung and Karina. As if to cement this decision, today seemed determined to be the worst day of your life. The moment you arrived at your apartment, rage surged through you when you saw who was waiting for you in front of your door.
“I’m going to fucking call security,” you instantly snapped, pulling your phone out of your back pocket.
Heeseung’s eyes went wide as his hands reached out in front of him. “Wait, wait, wait! Please, Y/N.”
You stared up at him, his eyes pleading with you to hear him out. Those bambi eyes always got to you, and this time was no different. With a roll of your eyes, you slowly put your phone down. “Okay, but I swear to God, if you try anything—”
“I swear I won’t! I promise, I just really need to talk to you. I’ve tried texting you, but I think you blocked me,” Heeseung said, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.
“Fine,” you muttered before walking past him, opening your apartment door, and stepping inside. You left the door open, signaling that he could come in, but he seemed hesitant, staring at the open door.
“Are you coming in or not?”
He blinked a couple of times, surprised that you were allowing him into your apartment, but he quickly followed you in and closed the door behind him. He hadn’t been inside in so long that it felt almost surreal. Everything looked exactly the same, and he found himself realizing that he had kind of missed being here.
“Wow, nothing’s changed,” Heeseung remarked, his tone revealing his surprise, especially as he noticed the photo of the two of you still on top of the kitchen counter.
You followed his gaze and felt heat rise to your face. You didn’t really know why you hadn’t taken it down. “Uh, yeah, I mean, I also haven’t been here for like three months, so I didn’t really have time to change anything.”
Heeseung nodded, but as his eyes trailed back to you, he found himself staring, forgetting his words. You were as gorgeous as ever, but it seemed that the time away had only made him realize how even more beautiful you were. 
“So, what did you want to talk about?” The air between the two of you was awkward, just like at the party however, seeing him sober during the day gave you a much clearer look at him, and you wanted to fucking die. You hated that effect he had on you. 
“Oh, yeah, sorry, uh, I just wanted to check up on you. Friday was kind of intense, and you ran off before I could say anything, so I was worried. I’m sorry for being so rough with you. I shouldn’t have done that.” Heeseung had been beating himself up over how he had treated you, so much so that he hadn’t talked to anyone all weekend despite his phone blowing up with messages from his friends.
“It’s fine. It was something we both wanted, and if anything, it’s on me. I kissed you first, so I’m sorry for that.”
Heeseung shook his head. “No, don’t be sorry, seriously it’s okay, but uhm, I also just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t dating Karina. I swear I’m not.”
Your brows furrowed as you recalled the incident in the library a couple of hours ago. “Well, does Karina know that?”
“What?” 
"She confronted me and Jake at the library, demanding to know what I did for you to ghost her all weekend." Heeseung frowned slightly at Jake’s name, and his frown deepened as he listened to what Karina had done. "From what it looks like, she seems to believe that your relationship is much more than whatever you’re saying it is."
“What the fuck? I swear we’re not together. I—” He stopped himself and sighed, realizing that to make you understand he was telling the truth, he had to tell you everything. “Fuck, I— Uh, shit, we’ve just been kind of hooking up, but I swear that’s all.”
He looked almost embarrassed admitting the nature of his and Karina’s relationship, and you could feel a part of your heart waver at what you heard. For him to admit out loud to you and confirm what you had thought was happening hurt despite you knowing that you didn’t have a right as you two weren’t together anymore.
“Oh, uh, okay.” You nodded as you quickly turned around and opened the fridge. You pretended to look around as if you meant to open the fridge before reaching to get the Brita out for water. You knew that if you faced him, the tear welling up in your eyes would pour down your face.
Heeseung went into a near-panic as he saw your reaction. Having dated you for over two years and known you for your entire life, he could tell you were upset. He noticed your shoulders tensing as you kept your back to him, looking into the fridge.
“Wait, wait, but I swear it’s nothing more than that, and I promise whatever happened between Karina and me is over. I don’t have any feelings for her—I never did. She was just there after you left, and it just happened,” he rushed to explain. But his words only seemed to make you feel worse as he continued to ramble.
“Why are you telling me this? You think this is going to make me want to get back with you?” You shook your head in annoyance, grabbing a glass from a cabinet and filling it with water from the Brita.
“No! I’m not trying to convince you of anything,” he said, now genuinely panicked. This was not how he intended the conversation to go.
“You know what she said?” 
“Huh?”
“Karina, you know what she said?” He slowly shook his head, clearly confused by where you were going with this.
“She said that you told her she did it better than I ever did,” you snapped, your anger evident as you stared him down.
His eyes widened in shock, and he scoffed in disbelief. “What the fuck! I’ve never said anything like that to her or to anyone, and it’s not fucking true.”
“What? So she’s just lying to get under my skin?” You were fuming, frustration etched across your face. “Karina’s a fucking bitch, but even she wouldn’t just make something like that up. You must’ve hinted at something for her to believe it.”
“No, no, no, I swear I haven’t said or done anything remotely like what she’s claiming. She’s a fucking liar,” Heeseung's anger flared as he defended himself, clearly outraged at Karina’s audacity.
“Well, it still doesn’t change the fact that you ran straight to her bed the second I was out of the country—literally one fucking day after we broke up!” You huffed, clearly pissed.
“Ok well don’t fucking act like you didn’t do the exact same with Jake. What the hell, Y/N? It isn’t my fault we broke up! You literally slept with one of my best friends!” Heeseung's frustration boiled over, clearly bewildered that you were still trying to act like you had no role in ending the relationship.
“I’ve told you a million times that I didn’t cheat on you with Jake! What more do I have to say for you to believe me?” You were fed up with defending yourself on this issue.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Honestly, aren’t you tired of keeping all this up? Beomgyu’s video and Karina along with everyone else hearing about you two should be enough proof.”
“Oh my fucking God! Jake went into the bathroom with me to help because I was puking my guts out. I drank way too much that night because I was so upset after seeing my fucking boyfriend cuddling with some other bitch all night! You’re genuinely a complete moron if you think Beomgyu and Karina are reliable sources. Beomgyu’s been a fucking asshole to me since freshman year because he’s still bitter that I refused to sleep with him, and Karina has wanted to get with you for as long as I can remember. Seriously, I thought you had at least some common sense in you!” You were yelling so loudly that your throat was already starting to feel raw.
Heeseung shook his head in disbelief. He had no idea Beomgyu had even tried to make a move on you, and now that he thought about it, he realized there had always been tension between the two of you. While he knew about Karina’s crush on him, he hadn’t thought she’d actually go as far as to lie about this. “Okay, well people still heard you two together.”
“Fucking hell, Heeseung, it was a house party with a hundred people. You really think anyone could hear anything over the music? You know what, whatever—believe what you want. There’s no point in trying to convince you otherwise. I’ve been honest with you the whole time, and it’s been you who’s been unwilling to listen. You dumped me without even considering my side, even though you were the one neglecting me during that last month before we broke up, spending all your time with Karina. Honestly, even if you’re telling the truth about not sleeping with her before we broke up, it doesn’t change the fact that you emotionally cheated. The number of dates you forgot or canceled to be with her, and how many times I saw you two together on campus when you said you were just hanging out with the guys. Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re not together. Just get out.”
Tears streamed down your face, and you didn’t bother wiping them away. You wanted Heeseung to see the pain he had caused you.
Heeseung was at a loss for words as he saw the pain etched across your face. It broke his heart and he couldn’t help but start to realize that maybe there was a chance you were telling the truth and that he might be to blame for everything. He felt his heart crumble. “Y/N…”
You sniffed and shook your head. “Get out, Heeseung. I never want to see you again.”
It had been a week since Heeseung had gone over to your apartment, and every day since, he had been determined to find a way to make it up to you. He knew what your last words to him were, but there was no way he was going to let you go that easily, especially now that he realized he was most likely the one in the wrong and that Karina was a fucking bitch. He had come to that solid conclusion five days prior when he finally decided it was time to confront her.
“Oh my God, what the fuck? Seriously, where have you been? What happened? You literally just disappeared,” Karina ran over to him once she saw him at the café he told her to meet him at.
Even looking at her face made Heeseung want to vomit. “I heard what you did.”
Karina frowned, not understanding what he was saying as she took a seat across from him. “What do you mean?”
“Y/N told me about what you did at the library.” Heeseung tried his best to keep his tone even, attempting to mask the rage he was feeling toward her.
Karina nervously laughed, trying to brush it off. So, he was with you while he ghosted her. “Oh yeah, I ran into her and Jake trying to get it on at the back of the library. Isn’t that fucking insane, like in public like that?”
Heeseung wasn’t in any mood to entertain her. He was already at a boiling point. “Cut the fucking bullshit. She also told me what you said to her at the grocery store. I don’t know what I did to make you think that we’re dating, but we’re not. I don’t even remotely like you.”
“What?” Karina was taken aback by his words. Sure, Heeseung was never as affectionate and loving towards her as he was with you, but she thought she had made good progress in getting him to fall for her.
“Yeah, so I swear to God if I hear you telling anyone else that we’re dating, I will get a fucking restraining order. You have been nothing more than an easy lay for me to get my mind off Y/N this whole time. I let you hang around me because I felt bad, but that’s over now, especially since I realized you’ve been lying to everyone, including me, about everything.”
Karina’s face paled as she took in his words. She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn’t give her a chance. “Also, you’re delusional if you think you’re even comparable to Y/N, much less better than her. Go learn how to actually suck a dick before going around telling anyone that. Seriously, fuck off, and don’t ever talk to me or my friends again.”
Heeseung took off right after that, leaving Karina sitting alone at the table. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest as he stormed out of the cafe. Since then, he’d been planning a way to get you to hear him out. The only thing he could come up with was outsourcing, and in this case, that meant trying to reach you through the people you hung around.
It was a no-brainer that trying to talk to Ryujin and actually getting her to hear him out would be harder than getting you to talk to him again, so that was out of the question, which left him with only one other choice. 
Just standing in front of the apartment was making him pissed, but he knew this was probably his best bet. He let out a big sigh before knocking loudly. He waited a couple of seconds, and after a bit, he wondered if he should knock again, but before he could, the door opened.
“What the fuck?” 
Heeseung was the last person Jake would have expected to be on the other side of the door, and it caught him severely off guard.
Heeseung hadn’t seen Jake since he beat him at your mother’s garden party, and while it seemed that any previous marks left on his face from the fight were gone, Heeseung still felt bad. Okay, well, actually he didn’t feel that bad because he was still beyond pissed at Jake. Heeseung had by now come to the conclusion that you were most likely telling the truth about not cheating on him, but it still didn’t change the fact that Jake had fucked you who knows how many times after the two of you broke up.
Jake had always been a very close friend of his since childhood, and if Heeseung was being honest, in high school there were a good number of times when he couldn’t help but find himself envying his friend. It was kind of always known in your friend group that Heeseung had always had a tiny bit of a crush on you. So, when it became known that Jake had been the one to take your virginity, Heeseung was beyond crushed. In fact, he had avoided Jake for a good week, too envious of the fact that it wasn’t him who had been your first. But he was quickly able to get (mostly) over it as he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t surprised; you and Jake had always been the closest. But now, knowing that Jake had broken bro code made that resentment resurface, and he wasn’t sure if it was going away anytime soon (if ever).
“I need to talk to you,” Heeseung reluctantly said. 
“Fuck no,” Jake responded with a condescending laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.
Heeseung’s jaw tightened as he pleaded, “Jake, please.”
Jake stared him down, scrutinizing every aspect of him, clearly enjoying Heeseung's desperation. “Why? Y/N told me what happened on Monday. You’re a fucking asshole.”
“You don’t think I don’t know that? That’s why I’m here. Just let me in,” Heeseung said, his patience wearing thin.
“What’s in it for me?” Jake crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. Heeseung could tell he was relishing the sight of him getting so desperate.
“You already got to fuck my girlfriend as many times as you wanted. Don’t you think that’s enough?” Heeseung gritted his teeth, his voice tight with anger.
Jake rolled his eyes but opened the door, letting Heeseung in. “You know she’s not your girlfriend anymore, right?”
If Heeseung wasn’t so determined to win you back, he would have had no issue punching Jake in the face again. But he needed Jake’s help, so he held back and tried his best it ignore him.
“I need your help,” Heeseung said, crossing his arms and facing Jake.
Jake barely glanced at him as he headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of what Heeseung assumed was a protein shake. He started to shake it, more focused on his drink, acting almost as if Heeseung wasn’t even there. “You’re funny if you think I’m going to help you with anything.”
Heeseung sighed once again, watching Jake’s dismissive attitude. God, Jake was such a dick. “I know I fucked up.”
“Yeah? Took you long enough to realize.” 
“I need help getting her back.” Jake let out a derisive snort that he didn’t even bother to hide.
“Holy shit, you’re delusional. What makes you think I’d help you?” Jake’s laughter was infuriating, and Heeseung started to regret coming here.
“Jake, I know what I did. I know there’s nothing that can fully make up for it, but I need Y/N back. I’m begging you, man, I need your help.” Heeseung’s pride was at rock bottom, but he didn’t care. If this was what he had to let go of to win back the love of his life, so be it.
“You literally cheated on her. Why the fuck would I help someone who cheated on her try to win her back? You don’t deserve her.” Heeseung couldn’t deny it anymore; he had emotionally cheated on you, whether he intended to or not and it sickened him to realize that he was responsible for your pain.
“I know I don’t deserve her, and I also realize what I did and how I’m responsible for everything. I know now that the last month before we broke up was terrible for her, and I was a complete asshole. I didn’t mean to hurt her; everything just spiraled so quickly that I didn’t have time to process it. I swear I’m not trying to make excuses—there aren’t any. But the last three months have been hell for me. You don’t understand how empty I’ve felt, how much it’s all hurt. Hearing that you two came back together from wherever you guys were fucked me up so badly that I ended up taking it out on you, and I’m sorry for that—it was fucked up. But what I’m trying to say is that this whole summer has made me realize just how much I need her. Seeing her again has only made that clearer. I should have listened to her that night, but I was so blinded by anger about you two that I lost control, and you have no idea how much I fucking regret it. Talking to her last week made me see just how badly I fucked up, and I guess I was too caught up in Karina’s lies to accept the truth. I know I don’t deserve her, but please, I just need one last chance to make things right.” Heeseung’s sincerity was evident in every word, and Jake could tell that this was something Heeseung had been tormenting himself over for a while.
“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Jake said honestly. “I don’t even know how I can help. This is between you two.”
He hadn’t expected Heeseung to lay everything out so openly, and he was a bit taken aback. But Jake still struggled to fully support Heeseung. He knew how miserable and broken you had been after the breakup, and he wasn’t sure he could let you go through something like that again.
“I just need her to know that I’m sorry and to hear me out just once more. I know I don’t deserve it, but please. This was all I thought about this entire week, and I don’t know what else to do. I mean I came all the way over here to you of all people because of how desperate I am. I know you don’t owe me anything, especially after everything, but please, I’m begging you. Help me out, man.” Heeseung’s eyes were filled with desperation, and Jake let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“Is Karina still in the picture?” 
“Fuck no, and I made sure she understood. She’s literally the worst mistake I ever made, and I should’ve known better. I just didn’t think she’d take it this far, but I swear, there was nothing between us to begin with. She just caught me at a vulnerable time and took advantage of it. I fully acknowledge the mess I made in the month leading up to Y/N and me breaking up, and I know it’s probably too late now, but please, Jake. Y/N is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You of all people should know that, so I can’t just let this go without trying one more time.” 
Heeseung couldn’t even lift his head to face Jake anymore, his eyes focused on his trembling fingers. The shame of his actions weighed heavily on him, and admitting it all out loud took a lot out of him.
A few seconds of silence passed, and Heeseung assumed Jake was deliberating. With each passing second, his anxiety spiked, and he desperately wished Jake would say something, anything.
“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but okay,” Jake said, his tone heavy with disbelief. Heeseung’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. “There’s no guarantee this will even work, but I’ll try something. Just know that I’m not taking this lightly. If you mess it up again, I’ll fucking kill you. I’m not kidding. The moment I see Karina anywhere near you, you’re dead. I’m only doing this because I know how much you meant to her and how miserable she’s been without you.”
Heeseung’s smile stretched so wide it made his cheeks hurt, but he didn’t care. “Thank you so much. Seriously, thank you, man. I really owe you.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Jake said, rolling his eyes at how excited Heeseung was. “But if Y/N isn’t having it, there’s literally nothing else I can do. So don’t get your hopes up.”
“No, I get it. Seriously, thank you so much. And I’m genuinely sorry for everything. It was fucked up for me to fight you like that.” Heeseung wasn’t sure if things with their friend group would ever return to normal, but he’d be lying if he denied that he missed having his friends around. A small bit of him kind of hoped this might be a step in the right direction of maybe getting everything back to normal.
“Yeah, whatever. I guess I kind of deserved it for sleeping with your girl,” Jake said with a hint of sarcasm.
Okay, maybe Heeseung wasn’t entirely fine with Jake being around like before as he felt one of his eyes twitch in irritation at the reminder of Jake being in your bed all summer, but he pushed the thought aside. “Just don’t make it a habit.”
“We’ll see. Don’t fuck it up.”
Heeseung felt another twitch in his eye. Maybe he wasn’t entirely over the idea of killing Jake Sim.
You had been sort of in a weird state of limbo where it seemed that a part of you was still wallowing in the sadness that came after the whole fight with Heeseung in your apartment but also there was also a part of you that was just kind of irritated with everything and you weren’t sure how to get yourself free from this state.
And it seemed the latter was taking over your current state as you let out a grunt of frustration as you attempted to hit the ball over the net, only for it to get caught and cause you to lose. Shouts of amusement came from across the court as you sneered in annoyance.
“Ha! Dinner’s on you! Oh, princess you fucking suck at this.” Jake was a little too happy about your loss as he giggled around the court. 
Sweat drenched the both of you as the setting sun’s heat blazed relentlessly down the two of you. “You know that I’m usually good! You’re just better today I guess.” 
You sheepishly shrugged before chugging your water from your water bottle on the side, the cold liquid instantly quenching your thirst. You were so ready to leave and get food.
“You just got unlucky that Sunghoon wasn’t here. There’s no doubt he’d be buying dinner. I’ve never seen someone worse at pickleball than he is.” You both let out a small laugh thinking about your mutual friend and his lack of athleticism. 
"Yeah, honestly, I know he said he was sick or something, but I bet he just said that to dodge paying for dinner," you muttered, tossing your keys at Jake after packing up your paddle and balls. "You're driving, though."
He caught the keys without protest, shrugging as he followed you to the car. After unlocking it, he slid into the driver’s seat, immediately grimacing. “Jesus, what the fuck is this seat positioning?”
“Leave me alone, it’s my car,” you rolled your eyes, watching as he adjusted the seat to his liking.
“Too nice of a car for such a shitty driver like you,” he snorted, making you gasp in offense.
But before you could fire anything back, he quickly switched the subject. "So, who's Ryujin going on a date with tonight?"
"Some new European exchange student, I think his name’s Armand? Not sure, but I’m pretty sure he’s French."
"Where the hell is she finding all these European guys?" Jake shook his head. 
Pickleball was usually a doubles match with you, Jake, Sunghoon, and Ryujin, but Sunghoon had bailed, claiming he was sick (though you weren’t convinced), and Ryujin was off on her date.
"I think he's in her finance class—or at least that’s what Yujin said. But yeah, she clearly has a type," you snorted, sending Ryujin a quick text to see how the date was going.
"That’s an understatement. I’m surprised she got over Louis that fast. And how the hell does Yujin still know everything about everyone despite being abroad for a whole semester?"
The circle you and your family had always been surrounded by was small, a natural outcome of the exclusive lifestyle the upper echelon of society led—one not easily accessible to just anyone. This circle was even tighter at your school, where everyone with status seemed to gravitate. As soon as someone new entered the fold, it took only a few days for word to spread, and soon enough, everyone knew everything about them, especially if they came from a similarly privileged background. So it was no surprise that even after studying abroad in Italy for 6 months, Yujin still managed to stay in the loop.
“You know you don’t actually have to be on campus to keep up with everything,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. 
It was frustrating, sometimes even invasive, to know that every move you made was watched and analyzed, but it seemed to be the price you and your friends paid for the lives you led.
Jake hummed in agreement, and for a few moments, the car was uncharacteristically quiet. It was unusual—Jake was never one to keep his mouth shut, so his silence could only mean one thing.
"Ugh, what?" you groaned, turning your phone off and shifting your focus to his profile.
Jake shot you a brief look of confusion before turning his attention back to the road. "What?"
"Just spit it out." You knew all too well that when Jake went quiet, it meant he was holding back something important—and more often than not, it wasn’t good news.
He gave you another glance, this one doing nothing to ease the knot forming in your stomach, before letting out a long sigh. "So, the other day, someone came to see me."
You raised an eyebrow, sensing that he was trying to drag this out. It couldn’t be good. "Oh my God, just tell me already. Who was it?"
Jake took a few more seconds before finally answering. “Heeseung.”
Your ex’s name was the last thing you expected to hear. “What?”
“Yeah, someone knocked, and when I opened the door, there he was, just standing there.” Jake’s slow pace was driving you insane—you just wanted him to get to the point.
“Just tell me what he wanted. Did he try to fight you again? Because I swear to God—”
“No! No, it wasn’t anything like that. He didn’t come to start anything; he just asked for a favor.” Jake nervously bit his lip, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. He clearly didn’t want to tell you what Heeseung was really after.
“Jake, just get to the fucking point. What did he ask for?” 
“Okay fine, he wanted me to talk to you about maybe hearing him out again.” Jake grimaced as he revealed Heeseung's request, sensing that the silence on your end was not a good sign. “Ugh, please Y/N, say something.”
You didn’t know if you should be fuming or surprised. Maybe both. “What did you say?”
Your calm tone caught Jake off guard as he turned into the Thai restaurant you’d chosen for dinner, parking before facing you. “Okay, you can’t be mad, but I agreed.”
Your mouth opened in protest, anger filling your eyes, but he rushed on before you could interrupt. “Just listen. You know me—I wouldn’t agree to something like this, especially with him, unless I really thought he deserved it. After I listened to him, I could see how genuine he was. I know he was a dick on Monday, but he came to me desperate and genuinely sorry. He wouldn’t have approached me of all people if he wasn’t serious.I know how much he hurt you, but I also see how unhappy you are without him. This might not be the worst thing for you two. Plus, Karina’s definitely out of the picture—Heeseung looked furious talking about her and promised he wouldn’t associate with her again.”
You processed everything slowly, staring at Jake. “He hurt me so bad,” was all you could manage as you shook your head, struggling to accept what your best friend was telling you.
Jake’s eyes softened at your reaction. “I know, Y/N. He’s still a total asshole, but deep down, you know that not having him around hurts even more. I didn’t promise him anything, and I won’t ever force you to talk to him. Honestly, if I had my way, I’d keep him far away from you. But I know you, and I see how badly all this unresolved feeling is fucking with you. I don’t want that for you. So just know this is an option. It doesn’t have to be now, or next week, or even this month. But if you ever feel ready to talk to him again—especially now that it seems like you both understand what happened—he’s willing to apologize. I’ll even be there with you if you want.”
Jake was right, and you hated that. Deep down, you knew this unresolved pain would eat you alive. Heeseung had always been part of your life, and having him ripped away, even for just a couple of months, was agonizing. You didn’t know if you could just cut him out completely, so you slowly nodded. “Okay.”
Heeseung honestly had little faith that Jake would keep his promises, but he still held onto a sliver of hope. Yet, as the weeks passed with no word from you, that hope began to dwindle. After a month had gone by without any communication, he was on the verge of accepting that he had ruined the most important thing in his life. Just as he was about to let it go, fortune finally smiled on him: he spotted you outside, nervously biting your lip as you waited for his class to end. A grin spread across his face the moment your eyes met, and he walked toward you.
“Hey,” he greeted softly.
His smile made your heart race, and it was annoying to realize that he still had that effect on you after everything that had happened. “Hey, I was wondering if you were busy. I think I’m ready to talk.”
Heeseung mentally noted to give Jake the biggest thank you ever. Despite his doubts about Jake's ability to follow through, he couldn't be more grateful to be proven wrong.
“Yeah, of course. This is my last class of the day,” he said, eagerly nodding as you both walked out of the building.
“Oh great, I wasn’t sure about your schedule, so I was just hoping I got lucky and you were free.” The awkward tension between you was palpable. “Do you want to grab lunch? I can drive if you didn’t.”
“Yeah, that sounds perfect. Jay drove us today, but I’ll just text him that he doesn’t have to worry about me.” Heeseung couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face. It was amazing how much your presence lifted his spirits. You were like a ray of sunshine, and just being able to look at you felt pretty fucking incredible.
You shot him a small smile before nodding, leading him to your car. “Okay, perfect.”
The ride to the restaurant was quiet, with barely any words exchanged until you both placed your orders.
Knowing that silence would make everything feel pointless, you mustered the courage to clear your throat and initiate the conversation. “Jake told me you really wanted to talk to me again.”
Heeseung nodded without hesitation. “Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I really didn’t think he’d actually help, but I’m so glad he did. I hope you didn’t feel forced or anything—that’s the last thing I want. If you ever feel that way during this conversation, I would completely understand if you just walked away.”
You nodded, recognizing the sincerity in his words. It gave you reassurance about his intentions. “I wasn’t forced or anything, but it did take some time. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear you out again, especially since last time ended badly. But I’ve had time to think, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to do this, at least for myself, to move forward from everything.”
“I’m really glad you gave me a chance to talk to you again. Y/N, I know this might not mean much to you, but I truly want to say I’m sorry.” Heeseung sighed before continuing, “I’ve had time to reflect on everything, and I’ve realized that what I did was unfair to you and hurt you in ways I never intended. None of this was your fault, and I’m so sorry for putting you through that.”
Hearing those words felt like a wave of relief washed over your aching heart. It was as if you had been yearning to hear him acknowledge your pain, and his sincere apology felt like a crucial step toward healing. Yet, one lingering question held you back.
“Why did you do it?” you asked softly, almost afraid to voice it. You noticed Heeseung’s eyes soften at your words.
He sat in silence, contemplating your question. Why had he abandoned you during the last month of your relationship?
“I’m not sure,” he blinked, his brow furrowing in distress. “I know that’s not a good enough answer, but honestly, I don’t even think I understand it myself. I really don’t want this to sound like an excuse, but I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. That project consumed so much of my time, and unfortunately, that meant spending all those hours with Karina. It became a routine, and I thought it would help me finish the class with a good grade. I never stopped to consider if Karina had ulterior motives, and I’m so sorry—I never thought about how this would affect you.”
You were unsure how to process his words, but you appreciated his honesty and let him continue. “I didn’t mean to blow you off or prioritize the project, which ended up meaning prioritizing Karina over you. That was never my intention. I hope you understand that I never saw her as a replacement or thought she was better than you in any way, especially not romantically. I swear nothing happened between us until after you left for your trip. Even then, I was just so angry, and she happened to be there. She was only an outlet for my frustration, and I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but I can’t deny that something happened. I just need you to know that aside from the physical, there was nothing else with her.”
Heeseung grimaced as he admitted all this. The weight of his actions felt unbearable, and when he saw your face—so sad, struggling to hold it together—it made him feel even worse. He hated that he was the cause of your pain.
You nodded slowly, your chest tightening as you absorbed his words and another sigh left your mouth. “That last month was so unbearable for me. It was literally hell. You have no idea how many nights I spent blaming myself, thinking I drove you to another girl. But what hurt even more was the aftermath. I’ve known you for so long, and I never realized how much you meant to my life until you were just… gone. I felt so lost without you.”
“It was the same for me. Y/N, you’ve been the love of my life since we were kids. You’ve always been my dream and literally everyone around us knows how much you’ve always meant to me. I’ve dated around and hooked up with other people but at the end of the day, I just kept coming back to you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re my home. That’s why I had to take this chance—to see you again, to beg you to hear me out one last time.” His voice trembled, and a tear slipped down your cheek as you felt the weight of his desperation. Your heart ached, torn between the pain of the past and the flicker of hope in his eyes.
He reached over to take your hand in his, the warmth of his familiar touch sending a jolt through you. A small, hopeful smile broke through his anxiety. “I love you, Y/N. I truly believe you’re it for me. But if you need me to let you go, I’ll do it. I’d do anything to see you happy.”
“Heeseung…” The words barely escaped your lips before tears started streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t hold back your emotions, even in this crowded place. His confession pierced through the defenses you had built, reaching deep into the empty spaces you didn’t even know existed. You remembered all the pain he had caused, the scars still fresh, and yet, despite everything, he was still your Heeseung. Your heart ached with the undeniable truth that he was your destined other half, and you couldn’t bring yourself to let him go completely.
In that moment, amidst the whirlwind of your emotions, the right path became unmistakably clear. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your feelings shift into something resolute. With trembling hands, you squeezed his. This wasn’t just about forgiveness; it was about embracing the possibility of healing together. “I can’t let you go, not now,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “Let’s find our way back.”
No one had ever warned you how difficult it truly was to rebuild something broken, even with someone you’d known your entire life. But now, standing on the other side of that struggle, as you watched the pieces of your relationship with Heeseung slowly fall back into place, you realized that every effort had been worth it. The awkward silences, the tentative steps, and the raw vulnerability—it had all led to this unexpected peace. Months ago, you would’ve laughed if someone told you not only that you’d be back together, but that you’d be more in love with Heeseung than ever before. Yet, against all odds, here you were—more sure of him, more connected, and somehow, more in love than you ever thought possible.
It had been two weeks since that lunch, two weeks since you both decided to give things another shot. Although hesitation still hung between you, trust was slowly rebuilding, and you could feel the progress with every passing day. The real breakthrough came when you got solid proof that Karina was no longer a looming threat. It seemed that Heeseung’s rejection hit her harder than anyone expected, leading her to pack up and flee to her family’s summer home in Lake Como. Word spread quickly that she was taking a semester off to “heal” from all the so-called negative toxicity, but honestly, you couldn’t care less. And it seemed that it wasn’t just you—everyone in your circle seemed to be rejoicing the second her plane left the tarmac, collectively exhaling as though they’d been holding their breath for months. Her departure felt like the final nail in the coffin of a drama that had dragged on far too long, and for the first time in a while, you felt truly free from the chaos.
You and Heeseung had agreed to take things slow, both afraid to fuck up the fragile foundation of your newly rekindled relationship. While you often found yourself holding back more than you were used to, the fresh start was also exciting, like falling in love all over again. The honeymoon phase was in full swing, and honestly, you were soaking it up. So much so that it seemed your entire friend group—finally restored, thank God (you were sure you’d even seen Jay shed a tear when he was reunited with Sunghoon)—was playfully revolting at how inseparable you and Heeseung had become. But despite the jokes, everyone was genuinely thrilled to see you two back together. Even the soft launch on Instagram stirred enough commotion that your mom called, confused. But you didn’t care about anyone’s reactions, because for the first time in a long time, you were truly happy.
“I’m surprised your little purse dog isn’t with you,” Yujin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as she appeared out of nowhere, making you jump.
“What?” You shot her a confused look.
“Heeseung! He’s like your own little purse dog these days. I don’t think I’ve seen you two apart since you got back together,” she teased, giving you a smug grin before snatching your drink from your hand and taking a big swig.
You snatched it right back, rolling your eyes. “That is not true!”
But the grin on your face betrayed you—you knew exactly what she meant.
Your half-hearted attempts to deny her claims were cut short when yet another voice chimed in, startling you once again. "Nah, Yujin's right. You two are capital C clingy."
"Stop sneaking up on me!" you groaned, shaking your head at both Ryujin and Yujin. They, of course, found your irritation hilarious. Before you could protest further, Ryujin also reached over and grabbed your drink, taking a long sip without hesitation.
"Oh my God, just take it!" you exclaimed, shaking your head in disbelief. You turned to grab a fresh cup, already resigned to making yourself another drink.
"But seriously, where is Heeseung?" Ryujin asked, glancing around the packed house, her eyes scanning the crowd for your boyfriend.
Jake had thrown a party to celebrate Karina’s dramatic exit, and it seemed like everyone you knew had shown up. His place was absolutely massive so it was insane to see the entire place bursting with people, not a single corner empty.
You shrugged as you added ice to your drink. "Not sure, I saw Jay dragging him out to the pool. I think they’re playing beer pong. You guys do realize we haven’t been together every second, right?”
Yujin scoffed. "You sure about that?t At least from what I’ve been seeing I’m having a hard time believing that."
“Yeah, babe, I don’t think there’s been a single day this week you haven’t been with him,” Ryujin added. But when she noticed a slight frown tugging at your lips, she quickly backpedaled. “But that’s not a bad thing! You guys are back together, and honestly, you seem so much happier and more in love. We’re happy for you.”
Yujin nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s cute. Almost sickeningly so. But seriously, we’re all just glad you two are happy again.”
Right on cue, you felt a familiar arm wrap around your waist from behind. You knew instantly who it was. “Aww, that’s so sweet, Yujin. Glad we have your support,” Heeseung teased, reaching out to fist-bump her.
"Were you out playing beer pong?" you asked, glancing up at Heeseung.
He nodded with a grin. "Yeah, Sunghoon and I absolutely annihilated Jay and Jake. Those two suck every single time, but they keep teaming up like they’ve got something to prove. Not that I’m complaining—it just means we keep winning. The loser had to admit the other’s dog was better, and Sunghoon had Jake practically in tears, saying Gaeul was superior to Layla. It was almost cruel. Layla’s literally upstairs, and he ran right up to apologize to her."
Ryujin snorted. "You guys are such kids. What kind of punishment even is that?"
"Hey, I’ll have you know that when it comes to Gaeul, I’d put my fucking life on the line for her!" Sunghoon appeared out of nowhere, clearly having overheard the mention of his beloved dog.
"Yeah, don’t mess with his dog. It’s, like, actually serious for him," Heeseung added, backing up his friend with a smirk.
You couldn’t help but smile. It felt so good to have everyone back together, the easy banter flowing like it always had. The boys, especially, had clearly missed each other. Things were a bit tense between Heeseung and Jake at first, but once Sunghoon and Jay rejoined the group, it felt like no time had passed at all. Of course, Heeseung wasted no time making it clear that you were off-limits now, even threatening that he’d shave Jake’s hair off if he so much as thought about crossing that line—and judging by Jake’s face, it was a threat he took seriously.
As Sunghoon passionately defended his dog, you felt Heeseung's arm tighten around your waist. He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “I don’t know about you, but I can think of something way better than listening to Sunghoon go on about his dog’s honor,” he whispered, his voice laced with mischief. “How about we check out one of the way-too-many bedrooms upstairs?”
The suggestion came with that familiar cheeky tone, and you didn’t need any convincing. Without a word, the two of you quietly slipped away from the group, who were still caught up in their conversation about pets. Heeseung was right—there were far too many rooms in this house, but luckily you knew exactly where to find a quiet, empty one.
Your body hadn’t even fully crossed the threshold before Heeseung captured your lips with a fervor you hadn’t felt since Hyunjin’s party. When you said that you and Heeseung were committed to taking your relationship slowly, you truly meant it. Sure, the two of you had made it to third base, but you had intentionally held back from rushing into sex, wanting to protect the delicate balance of your relationship. Yet, in that moment, it was clear that neither of you was opposed to going all the way. You both had been holding back for far too long.
Shutting the door behind you, he slammed you flat against the it as his tongue explored inside your mouth. You were panting against his lips as you reached for his clothes. It was obvious neither of you were particularly interested in taking it slow. 
“God you’re so fucking hot,” Heeseung didn't hold back his groan as his hand pulled your top over your breasts and cupped one in his hand, groping it as he deepened the kiss. You scratched a hand against the nape of his neck eliciting another low groan from him while his lips trailed down from your lips down to your neck. His touches had never felt better and you were yearning to feel him closer and deeper. 
While his lips worked their way down, you didn’t waste any time pulling your leather pants down, revealing the same pair of black thongs that you had been wearing the last time the two of you had sex and Heeseung groaned against your skin once he realized. 
“Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” You giggled at his response and quickly tugged him towards the bed, leaving behind a trail of clothes as the two of you continued to get rid of your clothes until you were left bare. 
Your hands firmly gripped his shoulders once he had finally stripped and you pushed him down on the bed as you also went down on your knees. His mouth was slightly agape as his eyes twinkled at the realization of what was happening.
“I’ve missed your cock so bad,” you purred before letting a wad of spit fall from your mouth and straight on his rock-hard dick. 
His eyes instantly rolled back when your hands wrapped themselves around his length and worked their way up and down, adopting a steady tempo. Your eyes never left his face as you held a determined look in your eyes, eager to please him.
“Fuck, just like that,” Heeseung barely managed to pant out as his eyes connected with yours.
You couldn’t hold back a smile. Knowing that your touches had him falling apart like this in pleasure had you growing overcome with lust. There was not a better sight than the one in front of you and you couldn’t break away from witnessing his every reaction even as you slowly started to lick his tip. 
He was panting hard as he watched you lick up and down his shaft before swirling your tongue around his sensitive tip that was dripping with precum. And when you sunk down, allowing his dick to find its place in your warm tight throat, his hands went straight to the back of your head, pushing you further down and inciting you to choke on his length.
It’d been a while since you’d deep-throated anything and you felt the tears instantly prick at your eyes as you gagged around his thick cock. You concentrated hard, closing your eyes to ease your throat as you slowly started to bob your head.
Saliva escaped down the corners of your mouth as the tears were now fully escaping your eyes. The filthy sounds of you gagging filled the room along with Heeseung’s deep grunts. His hands were fully pushing your head down as he thrust up, yearning for you to take him deeper. You tried your best to swallow around his as you searched for air, but he was relentless and pushed you until you couldn’t take anymore and had to slap the sides of his thighs for respite. 
 “Jesus Christ, Heeseung!” You gasped for air before coughing when he finally let you go, realizing how brutal he had been treating your throat.
“Shit, sorry,” his eyes were wide as he reached for your face, pushing your sweat-drenched hair away from your face. “It’s been so long and you felt so good, I’m so sorry-”
“Shut up,” you shook your head as you pushed him back on the bed. You ignored his apologies and quickly got on top of him, ignoring the fact that you had just been brutally choking on your boyfriend’s dick.
You were already dripping wet and Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t take his eyes away from your glistening pussy hovering over his dick. His hands guided themselves to your hips and you slowly teased him as you rubbed the tip of his dick at your entrance. 
“Please,” he pleaded desperately and that was all you needed to hear before you slowly sunk yourself down his length.
The two of you let out groans and you couldn’t help but heavily pant as you went lower, feeling him deeper in you. You felt so full that it felt like you could feel him all the way up your throat. Heeseung was massive and despite having loads of experience riding him, every time it felt like almost too much for you as your body felt like it was being stretched beyond its limit.
“Fuck, you’re too big,” you whimpered as you felt your body slumping over his, trying your best to get adjusted to his side. 
His mouth found yours as he passionately kissed you while his hands found your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. “You’re taking me so well princess.”
As he praised you, you found yourself slowly attempting to move your hips and before you knew it, you were moaning against his lips as you moved up and down his length. The pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t stop. The stretch still stung, but the pleasure that came with it was more than anything you could’ve asked for.
“Heeseung,” you moaned out loudly as his hips thrust up to meet yours, forcing you to feel him deeper.
The room was filled with your wanton moans that didn’t stop chanting his name and the sounds of his balls slapping roughly against your pussy. His grunts were getting animalistic and before you knew it, he had flipped the two of you over changing the position and taking over. 
‘Oh my God!” You screeched as he moved your legs to hang over his shoulders, causing the new position to allow him to reach you deeper if that was even possible.
He relentlessly pounded against your sweet spot, “You feel so fucking good. Perfect pussy made just for me.”
His dirty talk had you whimpering and you found yourself reaching down for your clit quickly rubbing it, helping you reach your orgasm faster. 
“I’m almost there don’t stop,” you instructed, and with a couple more hard thrusts, you found yourself loudly crying out as you found yourself reaching your peak. 
You clung to him tightly as you rode out your orgasm and could feel him twitch inside you before also cumming closely after. He filled you to the brim with his cum as you limply laid there taking everything he gave you. Once he was finished, he slowly pulled out inciting a small whimper from you and you could feel all his cum slowly pouring out of you and down your leg. 
Heeseung, seemingly just as worn out as you were, plopped right next to you before pulling you close to him, cuddling you. A huge smile formed on your face as you turned your head to face him and kiss him, someone pounded on the door.
“You two are so fucked for that! You do realize Layla’s room is right next door!” 
Bonus:
It was unbelievable how fast time had flown, especially now, standing with all your closest friends in matching caps and gowns. You couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that you’d all made it through college in one piece, still tight-knit as ever. It was almost enough to bring you to tears—if you weren’t so distracted by how uncomfortable your dress had become under your gown. You kept fidgeting, trying to adjust it for a bit of relief.
“Stop wrinkling your dress!” your mother scolded, while busy straightening Jake’s tie.
“But no one’s even going to see the tie under the gown,” Jake whined, only for your mom to shoot him a stern look that silenced him immediately as she returned to perfecting his outfit.
True to her word, your mom had finally gotten Jake head to toe in one of her custom pieces (minus the cap and gown). “I don’t care if anyone sees it or not. You are not wearing one of my designs without it being flawless,” she insisted, focused on making sure everything was perfect.
You could hear the quiet snickers behind you, and without even turning around, you knew Sunghoon and Ryujin were loving every second of this. They had already survived your mother’s meticulous once-over and were now relishing in watching the rest of you squirm under her scrutiny.
"Yeah, come on Jake, stop being so fussy. You should be grateful she's even doing this for you," Heeseung chimed in, grinning. His playful jab at Jake was laced with just enough sweetness to win over your mom—or at least, that was the plan.
Your mom still hadn’t entirely forgiven Heeseung for the disaster he caused at her garden party, and her approval of your rekindled relationship was, at best, tentative. But it was clear she was slowly warming up, especially with the way Heeseung never missed a chance to flatter her.
“Alright, now you look presentable. Don’t you dare mess with it during the ceremony,” your mom finally declared, stepping back to give Jake a final once-over. She then turned her sharp gaze on the rest of you, making sure everyone else met her high standards.
You exchanged a glance with Sunghoon and Ryujin, who were both barely holding in their laughter. They clearly found your mom’s unofficial role as wardrobe enforcer far more amusing from the sidelines.
“Oh, you all look so beautiful,” your mother said, her smile softening in a way you weren’t used to. The warmth in her gaze caught you off guard, and suddenly, the stuffiness of your dress was the last thing on your mind. As your eyes met hers, the reality of the moment hit you—graduation day, surrounded by your closest friends, all of you about to step into the next chapter of your lives. You could feel the emotions welling up, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes as you took in the sight of everyone in their caps and gowns.
Heeseung, as if sensing your shift in mood, gently tugged your hand into his, threading your fingers together. He squeezed your hand and gave you a reassuring smile, grounding you just when you needed it most.
“Come on, let’s take a picture before we leave,” you suggested, grabbing Heeseung's hand and motioning to your friends.
Your group huddled close, arms draped over each other, laughter bubbling up as your mom snapped away on her phone. Heeseung’s arm stayed firmly around your waist, keeping you close while you smiled for the camera. The joy of the moment, the closeness of your friends, felt like the perfect snapshot of how far you had all come.
As soon as the last picture was taken, everyone started to drift toward the stadium for the commencement ceremony. You watched as the crowd began to gather under the soft glow of the setting sun. After a quick hug and goodbye to your mom, you turned to follow your friends toward the entrance gates.
Just before you could step through the gates, Heeseung gently pulled you aside, his fingers brushing your arm. He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered, “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’m proud of us.”
His words made your heart swell, emotions bubbling up in a way that almost took your breath away. You looked up at him, your smile soft and full of everything you’d been through together. “I am too,” you whispered back, a mixture of relief and joy filling your chest. “We made it.”
The air was cool, a gentle breeze lifting the corners of your graduation gown as you looked at Heeseung, remembering how uncertain things had once seemed. But now? Everything felt like it was finally falling into place. The obstacles and heartbreak had only made you both stronger.
As the sun began to set, Heeseung took your hand again, just like in the room earlier. This time, though, he brought it to his lips, brushing a light kiss across your knuckles before pulling you closer.
“I love you,” he said quietly, and it wasn’t a grand declaration—just a simple truth that felt completely genuine.
“I love you too,” you answered, your heart full.
Standing there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the future didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. It was uncertain, sure, but with Heeseung beside you, you felt ready for whatever was next.
TAGLIST: @notevenheretbh1 @leov3rse @slut4hee @llvrhee @simjungwon @lhspeachie @sakanelli-afc @rayofsunshineeee @deobitifull @iwaplant @mheretoreadff @farashawhee @skzenhalove @venfl-ifw @jaehoonii @melonvrs @enhastolemyheart @rainyjy @cha0thicpisces @love-be0m @niniissus
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seedlings-stuff · 2 days
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Beneath the Surface - Chapter 1
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Tommy Shelby x Female Reader
Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst
Word count: 1.8k
Decided to write a mini series! Please let me know what you think so far x
(Y/N) sat comfortably at the kitchen table, cup of tea warming her hands. Across from her sat Polly, listening intently as (Y/N) filled her in on her growing relationship with William. (Y/N) thoroughly enjoyed kitchen catch-up chats with Polly, especially now that William and her were spending much more time together.
She had practically grown up in the Shelby household with the Shelby boys. When they all left for France, (Y/N) stuck around with Ada, keeping Polly company and looking after John’s young ones. Aunt Poll had become the closest to a mother figure she had ever had.
As she poured her heart out about her confusing relationship with William, she could see that Polly disapproved, and it was apparent why. He was a copper and had only arrived in Birmingham a few months ago. She had met him on a night out with Ada, and while caught off guard, she was immediately captured by his charm. Not once before had she successfully been asked to dance, not with Tommy Shelby consistently over her shoulder. But she didn’t care that evening, fed up with Tommy’s cold behaviour towards her. She had decided to have some fun.
That fun had now grown into a rapidly progressing relationship with William, one she struggled to keep up with. Recently, he had asked her to move in with him; this is what she was discussing with Polly.
“I’m just not sure if I’m ready, Poll.” She lowered her eyes to the steaming tea, feeling its warmth through her hands. “I mean, it feels too quick.”
Polly’s lips pressed into a thin line. “So why do it?”
She also knew that the move would mean less time with the Shelby family; William lived on the outskirts of town while she currently stayed only a street away from the Shelby’s.
(Y/N) hesitated. Because he wants me to. She shrugged, forcing a small smile. “It’s just... everything’s moving so fast.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to love; you should know that,” Polly reassured.
“Yes, but you should see his home! It’s a castle compared to my old flat.” She laughed. Admittedly, a part of (Y/N)’s attraction to him was his comfortable life. Formally a sergeant in London and from a decent family, he had enough money to spoil her with new dresses and beautiful floral arrangements regularly. Growing up poor in Birmingham, she had rarely seen this wealth before.
“I just feel like it’s too soon, you know?”
“Well, if you decide to stay with him and it’s not for you, you will always have a bed here.” Polly reminded her, careful not to be too obvious with her disdain for the man while remaining supportive.
“Thank you, Aunt Poll,” (Y/N) replied, relieved. Glancing to her watch, she gasped, standing up from the table. “I'd best get going. I’m meeting William for dinner soon, and he doesn’t appreciate my tardiness”, (Y/N) huffed.
Polly embraced the girl, then paused. Sensing something, (Y/N) broke the hug, and a questioning look was thrown at Polly as she placed her hand on her belly.
“Did you know you’re pregnant?”
~
The dinner with William felt like a blur, each bite of food turning to ash in her mouth. Her mind raced, replaying Polly’s words over and over. She needed space, a moment to breathe, to truly absorb the weight of it. How could she be carrying a child when she felt so unprepared for the future? But William’s eager gaze bore into her, demanding her attention. He wanted to know all of the details from her tea date with Polly.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight, darling,” William said softly, reaching across the table to take her hand. “Everything alright?”
“Yes,” she lied, stomach twisting. No. The truth was, ever since Polly’s words, she didn’t know what to think.
She moved her food around her plate, stalling.
“We just talked about womanly things”, she half lied, hoping to get him to change the subject. She didn’t want to tell him just yet. If she struggled with the idea of moving in with him, how could she have his baby?
“(Y/N), are you unwell?” William pried, concern washing over his face.
“No, I’m fine,” she replied a little too harshly. He looked hurt.
“Have I done something, darling?”
Yes, you have, she thought. “No. Sorry, it was just a long day looking after the kids.”
He stroked her hand, her anxious fidgeting calming. “You know, when you move in with me, you won’t have to go to work, right?” She took a deep breath, trying to focus on the soft touch of his hands. There were too many decisions to be made.
He searched her face, prying with his eyes. “Why don’t we go somewhere for a drink once we finish up here?”
~
William and (Y/N) walked side by side into the Garrison. She had suggested they go somewhere else for a drink, knowing that Tommy and his brothers would most likely be there, but William insisted. She was too tired to argue.
The lively chatter of the Garrison greeted them like a wave as (Y/N) stepped inside, but the warmth of the atmosphere did little to ease the tight knot in her stomach.
As soon as they had entered, (Y/N) felt a cool stare from across the room. She was correct; Tommy Shelby and his brothers sat at their table in the corner. They were all looking at William and herself, but the stare that she felt bore into her the deepest belonged to Tommy.
“Shall we go and say hello to your friends?” William inquired. (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel like he was showing her off as he strode towards their table. “Evening, gentlemen,” William spoke, nodding at Tommy. He stared back. “Evening, William,” replied John. As William left to buy himself a drink, John slid closer to (Y/N).
“He’s a brave one,” spoke John. (Y/N) threw him a questioning look. “Coming here with you. Showing you off like his prized horse.”
“Shut up!” (Y/N) laughed, hitting him on the shoulder. “Seriously though,” he whispered. “Look at Tommy. He’s fuming.” “There is no reason for him to be”, she whispered back. “I can make my own decisions. Even if he doesn’t approve”.
As William returned, he brushed his hand along the small of her back, moving her towards him.
The evening progressed, William consuming noticeably more alcohol than (Y/N) was used to. He tried a few times to buy (Y/N) a drink. She kindly refused, citing her ‘tiredness’. Towards the end of the evening, as she pushed away yet another glass of gin he’d bought for her, he jokingly mumbled, “You’re not pregnant, are ya?”. (Y/N) winced at this, although he didn’t catch her reaction, wandering off to the bathroom for the third time.
(Y/N) looked around her. She was always at the table with the Shelbys, but tonight something felt different. She didn’t feel a part of the family. It’s not like she wasn’t welcome; it was quite obvious that he was the cause of some unspoken tension.
Looking away from the direction William went, she found Tommy staring at her again. They had barely spoken for the past few months; he seemed to have drifted away from her as soon as she became close with William. She was frustrated. Why could he not be happy for her or treat her like he did before the war? Like a friend?
As if he had read her thoughts, he walked up to her. “I haven’t seen you dance yet tonight”. This was the first thing he’d said to her in weeks.
“William’s not much of a dancer”, she replied, coyly.
“Oh, I thought that’s how he caught your attention?”
It was true. Despite William’s charming moves when he first swindled (Y/N), he hadn’t had much time for dancing since.
“Would you care for a dance?” Tommy asked, holding his hand out to her. She was taken aback. “Oh, I don’t think that William…” she stuttered. “Just a quick dance then.” Tommy interrupted, taking (Y/N)’s hands and moving her onto the floor.
(Y/N) giggled as Tommy and she began to sway to the music. She did miss this. A lot. (Y/N) almost tripped on a fallen glass, but Tommy gracefully steadied her. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight,” he teased. “You need to stop watching me like a hawk, Tommy. I’m okay.” “As long as you’re happy,” he said reluctantly.
“Sorry!” She gasped, laughing as she accidentally stood on his foot. Tommy took her in. If she was happy, then maybe he should just let her be. Tommy lightly stood on her foot in response. “Tommy!” she giggled. Looking up, (Y/N) was surprised to find a rare smile on his face. As they swayed, the world around them faded into a soft blur; the music wrapped around them like a warm embrace, grounding her amidst the chaos of her thoughts.
As the song ended, Tommy released (Y/N) gently, their hands lingering for a second too long.
Tommy’s expression suddenly turned cold once more. Feeling a hand on her lower back, she turned around to find William breathing down on her.
“Enjoying yourself?”
His tone was pleasant, but the sudden force of his hand at her lower back startled her. She stiffened involuntarily. His breath was warm against her cheek, laced with the scent of whiskey. “I thought you were feeling tired, darling.” His smile tightened as he leaned in, voice dropping to a murmur. “Or was that just an excuse?”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her face, his smile from seconds before vanishing. What the hell? She shot a glance back at Tommy, confusion welling up inside her. “William?” she murmured, genuinely taken aback. She cringed at the way he grabbed her wrist. He had never manhandled her like this before. He never…she recoiled slightly as his fingers dug into her wrist, his eyes flashing with something unfamiliar to her.
But it was Tommy’s stormy gaze that caught her attention, a flicker of concern and something darker passing through his eyes as William’s grip tightened.
“I’m sorry, Tommy,” William slurred, almost cheerfully. “I think I’ll have to take this one home. Not feeling well, apparently.” He tugged on her arm, and for a second, she stood rooted, frozen with shock, before she let herself be pulled by him towards the doors of the Garrison.
She glanced over her shoulder at Tommy, a silent plea in her eyes. But he stared back unmoving, unreadable apart from a clench of his jaw as William led her away. (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel that that she was being pulled away from a safety net she never knew she needed.
part 2
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sxftkxssxs · 2 days
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If you are free and in the mood, can you write about the M6 or just Asra, lucio, and Nadia reaction to MC donating third of what they make from working in their magic shop, like they donate it to charities or families that need money.
I can never resist adding the slightest bit of hurt to Asra's part (he makes me violently ill.)
I don't really know how I ended up having all of them giving to charities themselves but they all definitely would at one point or another.
M6 with a MC who donates to charity
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Asra
He'll offer more ideas on how to donate or give to the charity of MC's choosing. He'll try to slip some goofy things in if they're donating to kids, he wants them to have fun!
They definitely kept this tradition up if MC started it before the Plague, since it was something important to them. Though, he'll always be a little teary eyed while he does it.
Once MC is able to walk and talk on their own, they'll ask them to pick charities every so often to give to. If they pick one they used to give to a lot he gets a sad look on his face they can't understand.
When they go on their trips they make sure to bring enough supplies back to donate a good amount and still have some for themselves.
Asra likes to donate to charities that focus on kids. Especially ones that include orphans.
Julian
He'll mostly tease at first.
Even though he's teasing, he gets a warm feeling in his chest seeing you be so kind to all these people.
Julian gets somber when he sees families struggling to stay together. It reminds him of having to leave Portia.
He'll absolutely want to be part of it but uh, MC, what do you expect this man to give?? He's been on the run for years!!
He likes to donate to medical related charities, but still varies often. His second most donated to is family charities.
Nadia
She loves that MC cares so much for her (and possibly, eventually, their) people so much.
She knows that the time she was asleep and with Lucio, she neglected her people. Even if she never meant or wanted to, it happened.
It warms her heart that they still cared enough to help others less fortunate.
She'd love to join! Just, tell her not to overwhelm these people. Please.
Muriel
He's honestly not thought about charities for...a long time.
Before him and MC get close he'll be on edge about it. He doesn't trust apperances.
Once he gets closer and realizes MC just wants to do it to be a good/nice person, he relaxes.
We've seen this man be so kind when he's finally allowing himself to be his own person. Apply here!
He likes to make things for charities. Blankets, Furs, etc.
Muriel would likely want to donate to charities that focus on family or orphaned children.
Portia
she is ecstatic!!
This woman has donated since she got herself into a good stable position and you cannot tell me otherwise.
She's been donating to charities that revolve around keeping families together or children. She understands the pain of losing family more than they realize.
She would want MC to donate to wherever they wanted, give as many people a chance as you can!
Pre-Upright Lucio
He's genuinely confused
They'd rather give that money away?? They could've spent that on something extravagant for him themselves!
The whole idea confuses him immensely.
Once MC starts dragging him through the magic realms and lovingly forcing him to face his own consequences, he'll start to grasp the concept much more.
Post-Upright Lucio
This is a new and improved man right here!
He'll even participate with you! if you help him decide on what all to give? He's still lost on what is best there
Surprisingly, he's the one to suggest donating to families or children.
He still holds so much guilt over his actions. He knows that he's gonna live with that the rest of his life, but at least he can do something good with his second chance, right?
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amorisxx · 2 days
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Dad’s Day with Donuts 🍩
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Pairings: Patrick x Tashi x Art, dad!Patrick x Lily Summary: Patrick wonders how he fits into the Donaldson family. a/n: I randomly had this idea and just had to write it down.
After Patrick has moved out of the guesthouse and into the main house, he still struggles to feel like he actually belongs there. Though he, Tashi, and Art have started to figure their shit out, it still feels a bit awkward when he’s sitting at the dinner table with them and Lily. He can’t help the feeling that he might be encroaching on the Duncan-Donaldson family.
He offers to clean up after dinner, taking his time to wash each dish in order to avoid waiting while Lily’s parents tuck her in. Because that’s who Tashi and Art are—her parents. Patrick’s not sure who or what he is.
He knows that Lily calls him Uncle Patrick now, and that she likes to watch Spider-verse with him. She thinks it’s funny when Patrick makes faces behind Tashi’s back or sticks out his tongue when she corrects his tennis. She likes that he remembers her stuffed animals’ names, even though she’s only told him once. He refers to each one by name.
Earlier that day, he’d reminded her to go get “Octavia” so that she wouldn’t miss this scene in the movie they’re watching. She giggled and ran to her room to get the stuffed octopus while Patrick offered to pause the TV. Tashi shook her head as she walked by on her way to the kitchen, but there’s a small smile on her face.
Lily falls asleep halfway through the movie. She wakes up wondering where Uncle Patrick went when she doesn’t see him. Art tells her that he had to go practice with mommy but reassures her that he’ll be back for dinner.
Now, Patrick stands at the kitchen sink, drying ceramic plates and wondering where he fits in. Does Lily see him as a fun live-in uncle? Or does she see him as another parent figure? Is that even what he wants to be? He knew it would be difficult to join a couple who had their own child, but he wasn’t prepared for how much this would worry him.
The sound of soft footsteps pulls him from his mind. He looks over to see Tashi leaning against the doorway expectantly.
Patrick tosses her a questioning look and she sighs before saying, “Lily wants to ask you something.”
Patrick isn’t sure what to think about this, but he finds himself dropping the kitchen towel onto the counter and following Tashi up the stairs anyway. Once they’re at Lily’s room, Patrick stops in the doorway.
Art is propped against Lily’s headboard and pillows, legs crossed at the ankles, as Lily bounces on her knees, rambling about what she wants to do tomorrow.
Tashi’s knuckle comes up to nudge him in the back lightly, and Patrick makes his way inside the room. Art’s eyes flicker up to his face with a smile that’s very similar to the one Lily is wearing.
He clears his throat, “so Lily’s school has this thing called Dad’s Day with Donuts.”
Patrick furrows his eyebrows. So, Art continues, “most of the kids bring their dads, but sometimes, for one reason or another, someone’s grand dad or uncle shows up—”
“One kid had both his dads there last year. His dad and step-dad” Tashi adds. “Oh, and the Alexanders too.”
Art nods and glances over at Lily. “So, that’s coming up, and Lily here thinks that we should extend the invitation to you.”
Patrick is taken aback. He opens his mouth to speak but all that tumbles out is a weak “huh?”
Lily crawls forward on her bed. “Well,” she starts. “You always say you like donuts…they have donuts at my school.”
“You—you think I should come to Dad’s Day with Donuts? Isn’t Art going?” Patrick asks looking over at Art for an answer.
Lily is adamant. “Duh! But I want you to come too. That way we can all eat donuts. Just like we have pancakes together when mommy lets you.”
Patrick lets out a laugh as he leans down and swoops Lily up and over the bed. “Of course I’ll go have donuts with you Lils,” he says as he places a peck on the top of her head.
Lily starts to giggle louder as Patrick lifts her up and swings her around. “Alright, alright. Time for bed,” Tashi reaches over to grab Patrick’s arm. “We gotta go to bed for real this time.”
Lily pouts but allows Tashi to tuck her in.
•••
Later that night, Patrick can’t stop smiling to himself. Art notices the grin that hasn’t left his face since Lily’s room. He wraps his arms around Patrick’s torso and places his chin on his shoulder. Patrick is still grinning when their eyes meet in the bathroom mirror. “Don’t think this means you’re replacing me,” Art teases.
Patrick smirks at him. “Of course not, I would never do anything to come in between you and your daughter…I’m just there for the donuts, man.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Art laughs, leaning down to lightly bite Patrick’s bare shoulder.
A/n: aww!! Thanks for all the warm comments guys! I haven’t written anything in ages.
Also, I can’t be the only one who thinks Patrick in that navy pullover was giving dilf…
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How I Come Up With Compelling and Fun Characters!
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Back at you again with another TedTalk.
Coming up with well-rounded characters is my favorite part of the writing process. I like to come up with convoluted plots, so ofc convoluted characters have to follow. While I am someone who is VERY guilty of injecting my own traits/experiences into my characters (because I like to live vicariously through them or use them to cope don't @ me), I try to do that once I've established them as their own people. Because then they just end up being other versions of me, and we don't want that trust me
The adage I like to live by is "when the character feels real to you, they'll feel real to the reader," so I try to go out of my way to know as much as I can about them before I start to put them down on paper.
I know full names, birthdays (down to the hour), exact heights, blood types, favorite colors, foods, etc. and I try to know most of the surface-level things. I'll try to delve a little deeper but I do like to let my characters breathe when I'm writing them because sometimes they do things that make me stare into the camera like I'm on the Office and I want to give them the room to do so because that's like 60% of the process (in my humblest of opinions as a self-taught/ professional hybrid)
When I first started writing my novel, I could tell you off the top of my head that my protagonist, Odette Harmonie Cinq-Mars, was born in the little fictional town of Pendulum Province, France on December 14th, 1997 at 8:16pm, her blood type is AB+, she's 5'0, she's left-handed, and her favorite color is royal purple. I could also tell you she has anger issues, is hyper-observant, is a classically trained singer and dancer, and is kind of cold as a person. That last trait ended up writing most of itself out as she developed, but it's how she started, and I never got much deeper than that until I wrote her.
But, rewinding a little bit, I like to come up with ideas for my characters from tropes and stereotypes. My truest formula for coming up with characters is:
Trope/Archetype
- Some tropey traits
+ Traits you might not normally see in that trope/archetype
+ As many details as possible
+ Putting them in random situations that come to mind and watching them figure it out (even if it might be unrelated to the plot)
+ A little bit of yourself (always optional)
For example:
My "tropiest" character's name is Noel Masse; he was heavily based on the archetype of the peacocky gay theater kid who kinda has a hoe streak. Before you come for my neck, hear me out.
What are traits of this trope I could erase (or heavily modify) for him? From my experience theater kids get kinda cliquey--not all, but some--Noel has his friends, but he's the type who wants to be friends with everyone. He doesn't like to judge unless people give him a reason to. Theater kids might have their heads in the clouds all the time, and Noel airs on the side of keeping himself grounded when he needs to.
What are some odd traits I could add to him? What can I expand on? Noel has severe indecision--he's a theater kid who doesn't know if he wants to be theater kid. He has dedicated his life to being a musical theater star, but he has a calling in mystery solving, coding, and all things tech. This indecision often cripples him, and even seeps into his love life, which leads to some promiscuity~
What are the little details I know about Noel? Noel Coretyn Masse is a natural born witch, born in a little (fictional) city in France called Athamera on September 9th, 1997 at 12:11am. He is 6'0, 175 pounds, blood type O-, ENFP-T, right-handed, his favorite color is royal blue, and he has a gifted vocal octave range (3.8), and is very good at most forms of dance.
What scenarios have I put him in that helped him build? This was actually how I decided he was good with technology and all things coding, hacking, computers, etc. I figured out he was good at this stuff when I needed a character to hack something later on in the story and I threw him into the mix just to see what would happen and it stuck IMMEDIATELY. So, this category can also help build category 2 for sure.
Bits of me? His dedication to the arts and his desire for a large friend group hope I didn't just roast myself lol
DISCLAIMER: I want to make a note for anyone who thinks that this is overkill: yes, it probably is. But, I also want to note that I have been told time and time again that my characterization in my stories is my strongest point. So, clearly I'm doing SOMETHING right here.
I also want to note that this is NOT the "correct" way of coming up with characters. In fact, I don't think there is a "correct" way (as is with most things artistic and creative). This is just MY way of doing things. If you have a way that you come up with characters that works for you, I'd love to hear about it!
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idk if someone already submitted her but one of my favorite Black characters is Martha Jones from Doctor Who
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She’s the female lead in season 3 and she is (in my opinion) the best companion. She’s training to be a doctor because she wants to help people and she’s really smart. Something I really loved about her was that she wasn’t afraid to question the Doctor, which a lot of characters are. She’s fun, she’s competent and she gets over her feelings for the Doctor like a champ.
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She’s also just so pretty and i definitely had a crush on her when I first watched it. I could not get why the Doctor didn’t like her back.
unfortunately the show didn’t treat her very well as the first companion of color. Within the show they repeatedly gloss over how her race would impact how she’d be treated in different times and in one awful little arc she was made to be the Doctor’s servant in 1913. Outside the show the actress, Freema Agyeman, received a lot of racist backlash that the BBC did almost nothing about.
she’s an under appreciated wonderful character
I've heard so much about how much racism this character had to go through, both from the writing and the fans. Same with her actress; I've said it before, but studios do not often protect Black actors. Freema deserved better, for sure. They put us in projects as tokens but don't actually care about us, and it shows.
And what's crazy is, that would have been something worth exploring! How do we get this Black time traveler through these places? Are there Black people in the places we go? Ofc they took the "servant" route 🙄 Aggravating. But it's also British writing, and well... Have they explored how awful the British were/are to everyone not WASP?
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bluedalahorse · 13 hours
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I mentioned wanting to write a fic about how things become a little more functional between Simon and August in their 20s, so here’s the scenario I want to write the fic about:
Simon and Wilhelm are close to graduating university. Felice is doing studies abroad in some capacity, and Sara is on the other coast of Sweden. August has just returned from university at Georgetown and is taking up some crown prince duties.
Simon and Wilhelm didn’t go to the same school—they each ended up in a school that fit their study needs—but they’re about 1-1.5 hours apart by train. They try to see one another relatively often, maybe on the weekends. They each have their own set of friends at their own school. In the final semesters of university, Simon gets involved in some particular, career-related project I haven’t decided on yet, which takes up a little more of his time. Their relationship is a little more “long distance” than usual but they still care for each other.
Wille’s having a rough go of it, though. In part he’s struggling academically, in part because he’s feeling the identity pressure of, who is he exactly? He’s done a lot of exploring over the past years, after leaving the crown, because trying to find yourself after a life of being told who you need to be is an ongoing process. He’s still trying to figure things out. There might be some Gender in the mix, too. (I am a they/he Wille truther.) Anyway, some of Wille’s university friends use recreational drugs, never in a way where they’re pressuring him but in a way where he’s around it. And with things being tough, Wille uses a few times in a “just for fun, just this once” sort of way, and then it begins to escalate.
Simon obviously notices that Wille is using, because his life story and what he remembers of life with Micke means he will notice. And immediately he knows he wants to get Wille help, but he’s also terrified of this becoming a situation where he feels like he has to handle everything by himself. He enlists the help of Sara and Felice from afar, he talks to Linda about it, but he realizes he also needs help from someone in Wilhelm’s family. Someone who sort of knows the upper class pressures and the way Kristina and Ludwig can be and all those insider things. It’s the kind of thing he might go to Erik about if Erik were alive, but Erik isn’t alive, and who was Erik anyway?
Well… over the past six or seven years, Wilhelm and August have been doing their best to have some kind of relationship. It starts awkward and hesitant at first, but becomes something over time. They try to check in on the phone once a week, and they try to coordinate their plans going in to family Christmas and such. They know what they are going to say if Kristina tries to pit the two against one another, they know how to cover for the other if one of them just wants to duck out of the fifth course of dinner and just scream. They can talk each other through panic attacks now and grieve together. Maybe Erik was the brother each of them wanted. Maybe they are also becoming the sibling each of them needed, inch by inch.
And Simon knows this, and has been okay with it happening because Wille respects his boundaries around it and has kept his Simon sphere and his August sphere separate so far.
But now Wille is in danger, and Simon knows he wants someone from Wille’s family (the part of Wille’s family he’s not part of, anyway) to help him.
So he calls August at an awkward time of day and says, “Hi. I didn’t want to have to do this, but I need your help.”
And August has noticed the signs of a growing addiction in Wille as well—of course he has, he has watched his father, he has dealt with this himself—and was about a day away from calling Simon in desperation.
“I need your help, too,” August says.
So they end up banding together to help Wille, to make sure Wille feels supported by both of them, to handle as much as possible before Kristina can swoop in (or before they have to call her in, in a careful and coordinated way.)
Simon and August end up talking about their own fathers, and realize they share some experiences, that they can relate to each other’s hypervigilance, even if they came from different social classes. How would things have been different, they wonder, if they had known this from the start?
As Simon opens up to him, August comes to realize the extent to which Simon still lives with the aftermath of the video. August realizes that yes, Simon is getting incredible grades and gaining people’s respect and presenting at music conferences around Europe as an undergraduate, and that still coexists with the pain and the fear. August has always loathed himself for posting the video, but his remorse takes on a new texture, one that is more inclined toward positive action steps than wallowing.
As August opens up to him, Simon comes to realize that August loved Sara, that August still regrets not loving Sara the way she deserved to be loved. Simon has to some extent rationalized August’s falling in love with Sara as fuckboy manipulation tactics—that’s easier to believe—but he notices the similarities between how August loves and how Wilhelm loves, how they both burn so bright for another person that they sometimes can’t see that person clearly. Simon starts to see how August tries to care for other people and make them feel like they belong, even if it doesn’t always look the way he expects.
We were all so young then, Simon and August think.
Wilhelm looks at these two unexpected people who love him and want him to be well (who love them, they tentatively suggest, as August and Simon each hold one of their hands.) Wilhelm is surprised and a little afraid and also a little… hopeful?
We are all so young now, they all think. And yet we are still growing.
And together they build something new.
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Carve Out A Place For Me to Sing
Okay so, I had an idea for a story a long time ago and I was going to write this out, but I figured I'd try a hand at making this into a fanfiction first. I think y'all will really like the idea though. Hear me out:
Exectutioner!König
I know others have done the idea, but this is a world I've been building for ages with its own established lore and history. I think you'll all find this to be pretty fun.
CW: public execution, mild descriptions of gore,
Wordcount: 4.8k
Art from This Post
Story below the Cut
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Carve Out A Place For Me to Sing
You hated execution wakes*. They were miserable, wretched shows of viscera and torment. You despised the way the crowd would roar and cheer as the severed head held up the hand to the crowd, eyes still fluttering with prayers on their trembling lips. You were revolted by how Judge Holten would laugh like a great, bellowing tracker* as the criminals would writhe and beg for mercy. What chilled you most, of the event, were his eyes. Not Judge Holten’s, most certainly not Father Kim’s, but his.
Cold blue eyes like the hold of Criah’s turn* on your heart. A chilling draft through thatched roofs. His watch felt like stepping into a frozen forest, lost under a pale sky without a hearth or home in reach, left to freeze nestled in the notches of a tangle of tree roots. Whenever he looked at you, you could feel the cold chill winding up your spine. You were a good, honest woman. Any woman would be afraid of a beast like him.
You shuddered as you kneaded the sourdough bread beneath your hands. Your aunt clucked her tongue at you.
“Well come on! We don’t have all the time in the world, do we now?” she shook the dark curls that framed her face, “daylight’s fading on us!”
“Auntie, my arms feel like they’re going to fall off!” you complained as you dropped the dough into a bowl to rise again.
“Well I’ll knock them off if you keep up with your whinging!” she squawked and threw another tray of buns into the blazing oven.
“You know, if you’ve got this sort of energy, you’re free to go out to market tomorrow,” you tried once more as you drew out another batch of dough to knead.
“I’ve got three young’uns underfoot,” your aunt scolded you, “I don’t have nearly enough time to go out hawking bread to those animals.”
“Animals” you scoffed, “I didn’t think witch Rozlin is an animal.”
“Witch Rozlin is a good woman, but anyone going out to one of those blood shows is naught much more than a pig out back,” Auntie sniffed.
You rolled your eyes as you got to kneading the next batch. It wasn’t like you disagreed with your Auntie, but you were rather nonplussed by the idea of going out and selling buns to the rabid mob that was sure to form in the town square next wake's morning*. Your Auntie had a point, the three rapscallions that were currently out at school would be a handful on a Hollinwake, but all god watch you’d been looking forward to having the day to yourself. After all, Hollinwake was the one wake in a god watch devoted to caring for yourself and for your family. It was meant to be a day of peace, rest and personal growth, but it figured that Judge Holten would schedule an execution for the final day of a god watch. You could really strangle the man, sometimes.
It wasn’t like anyone else disagreed with you. Judge Holten was a miserable toad. He was a stout man with a grotesque belly that overhung his gilded rope belt, and he had a pugnacious air to him that radiated from him like the scent of his tobacco. He would walk around town in his great scarlet robes, using his black walking stick to wack children and small animals alike out from under his foot with a scoff and turn of his head. It was a wonder any woman willingly shared a bed with the man. In all fairness, as a halfling, you had particular reason to dislike the man, but that was between you and higher powers. You just wished that Halax might take a shine to you and smite the bastard from existence.
Alas, Halax* had long-since turned her back on you when your uncle had fallen ill. Normally, he’d be in your place to prepare the bread and buns for tomorrow, but he had been struck ill at the start of the god watch. He was in bed since Dandorwake*. You’d prayed at church with Father Kim, who’d kindly offered you a cup of pure mead and a fresh cabbage from the church’s gardens, but you’d declined and urged him to keep them for someone else. He’d tried to insist, but you’d long since departed. Maybe it was a sin to turn your back on a priest when he wasn’t finished an offering, but you knew full well that he needed that cabbage far more than you ever could.
Last cycle* had been cruel. This turning time had been fruitful in harvests, but it didn’t make up for an entire cycle of suffering. There had been nothing but torrential rain followed by ages of heat that left the earth splitting with cracks and coughing dust. Most families had to turn to the reserves, but of course, Father Kim had no such reserves. The church was entirely dependent on donations to run, and with families unable to feed their own children, Father Kim had to make do with an entire cycle of kitchen scraps and meagre growth from their garden. Even now, Father Kim was still bony and meagre in frame, a mere shadow of the power and might he’d carried the cycle before.
Maybe it was because you’d denied Father Kim’s offerings that your uncle still lay sick, but you weren’t too concerned. Just last wake, witch Rozlin had come with the town apothecary, Darnell, who’d laughed and told you your uncle would be up and on his feet within a couple wakes. Of course, they still charged you for their time, but you were glad to only be giving over a handful of brass coins and sending them on their way and not a pinch of gold coins in exchange for a vial. So, with the reminder to wait, your uncle had been laid back to rest and you had gone out to give the good news to your cousins.
A spark of embers caught your attention. You realized your Auntie must have left to go grab the children from the school master for the evening, leaving you alone in the bakery to work on the next batches. You heaved a sigh and straightened your aching back momentarily before returning back to your work. After all, you had plenty of work to do.
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The next wake had started with you loading up the wagon for the market.
“Auntie, are you sure you want to sell the salted buns?” you asked as your Auntie hauled in another load of buns.
“I’m sure of it,” your Auntie declared, “they’re the best thing I’ve made in moons!”
“But-”
“No buts!” she held a roughened finger up to your lips, “just go! You’ll be lucky if it’s not over by now.”
“I hope it is,” you muttered back.
“And just you be careful about The Axe, alright?” your Auntie worried over you as she adjusted your had scarf.
“Worry about The Axe? Why?” you asked.
“He’s a mean one, he is,” your Auntie warned you, “barely talks but… Well… He’s an executioner, dear. He’s not a good man. You’d best keep your distance if you can.” 
“Doesn’t my uncle deal with him?” you frowned.
“Oh he’s nice enough to your uncle, but to a young lady?” your auntie clucked her tongue, “I don’t like thinking about it. He’s not right in the head. If I could I’d go with you, but with the little ones…”
You smiled warmly, “I understand. Don’t worry Auntie, I promise I’ll be safe.”
“Make sure you have someone with you when he comes to get his rations!”
You barely heard her as you picked up the handles of the wagon and set off at a reasonable place to get to the village square. It wouldn’t be more than a half watch* to get there by foot, less by beetle. You’d always tried to get your uncle to buy one, but he’d stubbornly refused each time you brought up the idea.
At the very least, the walk was a good one. The warmth of Brak-Hah’s turn had a spring in your step as you moved down the dirt path, formed by generations of beetles, turtles and lizards drawing wagons from town to town. Being on the outskirts had its benefits, that couldn’t be argued, but you sometimes found the walk to be tiresome.
As you pushed the wagon, you let yourself focus on the growing wheat of your uncle’s fields. They were slowly turning a nice, bright golden yellow with the coming of Hanndoal’s turn*, which was heralded by the trees in the distance turning a rugged burgundy splattered with patches of golden yellow. The sky above was bright and blue, a glorious day for an outing. It truly was a beautiful day for an execution.
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You rolled the cart through the cobblestone streets to the centre square, where the red splotched platform had been dutifully erected. Already, a crowd was milling about in their fine clothes, all shades of bright yellow, soft green and pastel blues, a farewell to the warm sun of Brak-Hah’s turn* and welcoming in the cool winds of Hanndoal’s turn. You smiled at the sight of it all.
Already, a few others had set up their stalls in preparations for the day. You saw the farmers arranging their Brak-Hah’s turn’s crops and hanging up garlands of spices to draw in patrons from the crowd. Across from that roughened few, a cobbler was setting up a place to clean people’s shoes of the blood. Today looked like it was turning out to be a beheading.
You spotted a familiar dark head of hair and hurried to her side.
“What’s the crime?” you asked as you came up to Salvatrice.
She glanced back at you and winced, the scar on the left side of her face bunching with the grimace.
“Why’re you out here?” she growled.
“Is that how you’re greeting a friend?” you laughed.
“Well, it’s how I greet you,” she snorted as she turned to face you properly, “but where’s your uncle? Usually he comes out to these sorts of things.”
“He’s sick as a lizard right now,” you laughed, “but he’ll be up on his feet soon. We had Darnell and Witch Rozlin come out to take a look at him.”
“Why didn’t you get your aunt to come instead of you?” Salvatrice scowled.
“It’s almost like you don’t want to see me!” you put your hands on your hips accusingly.
That at least brought a smile to her scarred face, “I just didn’t think you’d like being here. I know you’re not too big a fan of what we’ve got going on this wake.”
“Eh,” you shrugged, “I can just look away. But yeah, what’s the crime here? Who’s getting whacked?”
“Judge Holten found Cramus Wright guilty of murder,” Salvatrice explained, “he punched some poor bastard in the back of the neck so hard that their spine cracked.”
“Wait,” you shook your head, “why’d he do that?”
“Beats me,” Salvatrice shrugged, “but he did it, so here he is.”
You looked up at he platform where Father Kim was reciting his prayers. Beside him, Judge Holten was scratching his stomach and yawning. His great book of law was tucked under his other arm like a fat slug.
“Where’s the executioner?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly.
“Leading Cramus, I’d think,” Salvatrice fiddled with one of her skinning knives.
“So it should take a while to get here,” you surmised.
“You should start selling that bread before he shows up,” Salvatrice reminded you, “people might not be so hungry after.”
“Oh you know they always are,” you groaned, but wheeled your cart back to a spare stall and laid out your goods.
It only took a couple of shouts for people to starting making their way over to you. You rolled your eyes when your Auntie’s salted buns sold out first, but vowed to tell her what a great success they were when you got home. Sadly, your uncle’s browned beetle meat buns weren’t quite so popular, but at the very least your spinach buns were selling well enough for you to feel confident in your experiments. Of course, the salted turtle buns sold well, but so did anything your Auntie made. You didn’t quite have the talent for coming up with recipes like she did, but what you lacked in useful creativity you more than made up for in technical skill. You knew your lattice pies were always sure to win over the crowds.
You passed a turtle bun to a small girl when you heard the yelling from behind you. You turned to look, and immediately wished you hadn’t.
There in the centre of the road was a great monolith of a man carrying the soon to be departed Cramus Wright on his back. You shuddered as he neared the square, his heavy footsteps slowly trudging by you to make his way to the great platform. The crowd split silently for the man, not a soul daring to step within his radius. Children huddled into their mother’s aprons and men shuddered at the sight of him. Up on his back, Cramus Wright threw his meaty hands against the giant and bellowed like a swamp toad. His eyes bulged so ever from afar you could see the whites of his black eyes as they whirled round and round in their sockets.
“It ain’t me!” the man’s voice carried through the whole square, “I didn’t do it! It wasn’t me!”
Judge Holten rolled his eyes as Cramus was strapped into the stocks. He begged and cried until his voice went hoarse as he thrashed against the black iron chains. His neck strained as he tried to move his head from the chopping block, but eventually his body gave out and he slumped down over the wood.
Judge Holten sighed and turned to the crowd. He pulled out the brown leather book and started up his readings, calling out with a pious voice that grated on your ears. You ignored his callings to focus on Father Kim, who sensing his opportunity, had kneeled by the prisoner’s side to give him his final prayers. He painted the man’s face in pigmented oils, forming complex patterns that linked and looped across his cheeks up to his forehead, where Father Andreas painted a bright and glorious eye in red. When he’d finished, he kissed the man’s forehead and stepped back to stand beside the half-giant and speak to him. The crowd roared and cheered as Judge Holten whipped them up into a fury, but you saw past them to the silent duo who stood waiting by the edge of the worn wood platform.
There with his cursed hood stood the half giant only known in the village as ‘The Axe’. He was a horrendous man, what with his tremendous body and his hulking pose. He stood out in any crowd he stood in, a shrouded wraith covered in dark cloth from head to toe, save only for a tan tunic he tucked in with a girthy black leather belt. He lorded above Father Andreas, and yet there was something so tender in seeing a man born of blood and death bowing down so that a chosen holy spirit could whisper into his ear. You couldn’t see his eyes from here (and thank Halax for that), but you could see the man’s shoulders shake with a good laugh.
Eventually, Judge Holten closed his book and tucked it back under his left arm, turning to face the unfortunate Cramus Wright.
“Cramus Wright,” Judge Holten’s voice boomed around you, “you are found to be guilty of murder in the highest degree. Additionally, you are charged with the theft of four-hundred gold coins, thirty-eight silver coins, forty five bronze coins, and ten copper coins. You are hereby deemed unfit to live amongst common man, and are to be beheaded with a blunt axe. May Forruxik* have mercy on you.”
Your knees felt weak. A blunt axe? That seemed absolutely barbaric, and yet the crowd cheered all the same.
From the back, you saw The Axe take an axe from his side, rusted red with a grotty hardwood handle. He twirled it expertly in his hand as he walked forth, ignoring Cramus’s screams and the cheering of the crowd. He leisurely sauntered to the side and looked down on Cramus. He bent in half to lean down to the man’s ear. A brief exchange was made, and The Axe rose back up to his full monstrous height and raised the axe up high in his tremendous hands. The crowd was silent as The Axe took a deep breath, momentarily soaking in the moment, then swung down with all his might. You turned away just in time to hear a fleshy thud.
The crowd screamed with wild delight as Cramus’s head was raised up his, painting The Axe’s creamy tunic in bright scarlet red as blood rained down upon the crowd. They eagerly surged forward to try and catch some of it on any piece of clothing, anything to keep as a memento of the event. The Axe looked down upon them with those cold, cold eyes. You could see the sheer hatred and disdain from where you stood at your stall. You shivered as The Axe took the head and hurled it into the crowd to be torn apart. They grappled over it like wild lizards, teeth gnashing and spit flying as they tried to get a piece for themselves.
When you looked back at the stage, Father Kim had his hand on The Axe’s bicep and was speaking to him. Judge Holten was stepping down the platform stairs to make way for the morticians that crawled up from the earth to take their prize. They’d get the head in about an hour, when all was said and done. 
You sneered at the display, and instead focused your energy on making your sales to the now-ravenous mob.
You made your sales easily. It was sometimes easier to turn your brain off and just take the coins, tuck them into your pouch, only occasionally taking some out to provide change. You worked quickly efficiently, not fully realizing how many you’d gotten through until the sky started to turn and the crowds dwindled to nothing.
Only once all the patrons had left for the day did you notice a shadow crossing your stall.
You looked up, only to immediately freeze under the watch of those frozen eyes.
“Hallo?” his voice was strangely accented, “I am here for my allotment.”
You blinked as you took in The Axe. You’d never seen him this close before, where you could actually see the red trails that hung below the holes he cut out for his eyes.
“Your allotment?” you whimpered as you trembled.
The Axe nodded slowly, almost as though you were stupid.
You looked around your stall, but it was bare of any goods. Everything had been sold that day. What did he mean?
“What allotment?” you managed to squeak out.
“My bread,” The Axe said as though that might help clarify his meaning, “I want my bread. The provisions bread.”
You blinked up at him.
“What provisions bread?” you asked, now confused more than afraid.
“For my duties I am given rations,” The Axe explained in his whispery voice, “your uncle always puts them aside for me.”
Oh! The rations! Surely your auntie had packed them somewhere.
You turned and rummaged through the cart, but there wasn’t so much as a bun to give over. On the shelves under your stall, they held naught more than a coating of fresh crumbs. You turned up to him with a frown, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any bread for you. Are you sure that you’re meant to get rations from us today?”
“There is no other miller in the village,” The Axe grunted, “do you not have my rations?”
You cringed at his accusations and subtly tried to shift your coin pouch away, ever so carefully creeping from him as you told him, “I don’t have your rations. I’m sorry.”
The Axe stood still. You couldn’t help but freeze under his icy eyes. You saw rage like no other in those Criah’s turn eyes, cold and billowing out like a hailing gale. He looked you up and down with those frosted eyes before letting out a puff of air, making his black mask billow out before resting back on his face.
“Then next time,” he said quietly.
You turned to leave but he coughed to grab your attention.
“What?” you asked, a bit ruder than you intended.
“Is your uncle alright?”
You lowered your tensed shoulders, then scowled, “Why would you care? You’re not looking for him, are you?”
The Axe swung his head back and forth slowly, “I do not want to hurt anyone. I just have to. So what happened to your uncle?”
“He’s sick,” you said tersely.
“A shame,” The Axe said quietly, “I hate to hear that he’s suffering.”
Your scowl deepened, “What do you mean? That’s literally your job. You kill people all the time. You make people suffer for money. If you don’t like hurting people, why are you still here?”
“It pays well,” The Axe muttered, “it’s all I’m allowed to do, anyways.”
You paused. What in Mormonia* was he talking about?
“Couldn’t you get a job as a tailor? Maybe a glove maker?” you offered.
“Who would take an executioner as an apprentice?” The Axe chuckled, “you see how the others are afraid to even be near me. Nobody will take me in.”
You drummed your fingers on the counter, “Why don’t you go to another town?”
“With what work history? Nobody will hire me,” The Axe supplied.
You nodded slowly before grimacing and offering your final solution, “Why don’t you become an adventurer? Somebody as big as you would make a good fighter, right?”
“And leave my home?” The Axe shook his head, “I love my home. Nobody likes me here, but this place is safe. I’m happier here.”
You leaned on the top of the stall, curling your fingers into a fist under your chin as you thought carefully. The Axe didn’t seem quite so scary now. You’d always figured him to be rude and abrasive, a beast of a man, but now that you spoke to him he seemed just as nervous of you as you of him.
You tried to think of another solution, but all that came up was, “Why don’t you make somebody else do your job?”
“Hah!” The Axe barked, “nobody can do my job as well as I can. They would draw out the pain, make the prisoners suffer. I make it quick. I try to make it as painless as possible.”
You nodded slowly. In the end, he managed to take a man’s head off with one sweep of a dull axe. There wasn’t another man in the village that you could imagine being able to pull off the same feat. He easily could have drawn out the killing, had every excuse with a dull axe, and yet he chose to make it as quick as possible. 
“So, you really don’t have a choice,” you concluded.
The Axe shook his head mournfully.
“That…” you slumped a bit, “that sucks. I’m sorry you have to do this.”
“It’s not so bad,” The Axe offered, “just lonely.”
“Lonely?” you raised an eyebrow.
“Very,” The Axe nodded, “only a small few are willing to speak to me, and only because they must. I am friends with Darnell, Witch Rozlin, and Father Andreas. Occasionally, Sister Callisto or Sister Mila will speak to me, but if they are not forced to speak with me, nobody speaks to me. Everyone in this village hates me. If they don’t hate me, they are afraid of me.
“So,” The Axe shrugged, “I am lonely.”
You frowned at the thought. It sounded like a miserable existence. You’d always known the community to welcome you with open arms. You laughed with neighbours, chatted with vendors, haggled with patrons with ease. Life was always busy with five nieces and nephews running underfoot in your busy home. The Axe, though, was a different case.
You knew The Axe to be the only son of a waif of a woman and a giant man that had hung himself after his wife passed. For at least four years, you knew the Axe to live on his own out in a cottage deep in the woods. Supposedly, it was to protect everyone from the butcher’s rage. Now, you were starting to think the reverse might be true.
“That sounds awful,” you admitted, “I can’t imagine everyone in the village hating me.”
“You get used to it,” The Axe offered.
You frowned, “You shouldn’t have to ‘get used to it’. You should be able to have friends like anybody else.”
“Well, would you be friends with the man who kills for a living?” The Axe snorted.
You looked the man up and down carefully. The blood on his tunic had turned a maroon red. In the dying light of the sun, you could make out some flecks had made their way onto his slider belt buckle. You flicked your eyes away from his crotch to look down at his thighs, each one thick as tree trunks and just as sturdy. Looking back up at his face, his cold eyes now seemed less dour, severe. Instead, you wondered if he was lost in his own frozen forest.
“I think I would be,” you offered.
The Axe’s eyes widened.
“You would be?” he parroted.
“I think if he let me,” you gave him a small smile.
The bells of the church rung out, indicating the late hour. You hissed as you scrambled to grab your wagon and pull it out from behind the stall. When you turned, The Axe was still standing, looking completely shell-shocked.
“Hey,” you caught his attention, “if you come back tomorrow at the start of the tenth watch*, I’ll get you your rations.”
“But won’t that be after sundown?” The Axe shifted his weight.
“The moon will be up by then,” you agreed, “but it won’t be too late. I can still make it out here and back before my Auntie and Uncle go to sleep. Do you wanna meet up then?”
The Axe looked down at his hands and shuffled awkwardly, “If you’re willing to do all that for me…”
“I’d love to,” you cut him off, “anyways, it’s getting late. I should probably get him before my Auntie gets worried.”
The Axe nodded and sent you off with a wave.
You walked down the path, following the glowing blue and white blossoms of moon flowers. A few patches of luminescent moss growing across the wood fences helped keep you on course when you finally made your way home.
When you did manage, your Auntie was waiting in the living room for you.
“You’re back!” she exclaimed and threw her arms around you before pulling away, “I’m so sorry! Was he mean to you? Did he try to hurt you?”
You screwed up your face, “Auntie, what’re you talking about? Who would’ve hurt me?”
“The Axe!” she exclaimed, “I forgot to pack his rations for you today. I only noticed once you’d left! Surely he got upset, didn’t he? Was he too scary? I can tell your uncle he needs to find another baker if he tried to hurt you.”
“No, no,” you shook your head, “he was fine. I just told him I’d get them to him later.”
Your Auntie shrieked so loud you had to cover your ears.
“You told him you’d see him again?” she screeched, “what in the realms* were you thinking, girl!? Oh what have you done?”
“I told him I’d meet him at the tenth watch,” you explained, “out in the town square.”
Your Auntie looked like she’d keel over and faint right then and there, “Oh by Halax’s name, what have you done?” she shook her head, “no, you’re not going. I can’t have you seeing that dangerous man on your own, and especially not after dark!”
“What do you mean?” you scoffed, “I made a promise! You can’t have me breaking a promise, can you?”
“Oh I most certainly can!” your Auntie huffed, “it’s what’s best for you!”
“But Auntie he wasn’t that bad!” you tried to reason with her, “he’s nice! He’s just lonely!”
“Lonely?” your Auntie scoffed, “pah! That’s ridiculous. Now you listen and you listen close: you’re not to go and see him tomorrow. You stay right here with us. If I see you skeeving off, you’ll be in for a world of trouble!”
You glared at her, but you were too tired to argue. You simply closed your eyes and nodded.
“That’s a good girl,” your Auntie sighed, “now, off to bed with you. We’ve got a busy day of baking tomorrow!”
You tromped up the creaking wooden stairs to go to bed.
As you brushed out your hair, you thought about how lonely The Axe must have been out in his cottage. As you settled down into the straw, you vowed to make sure you’d change that.
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Glossary
Wake - Day
Tracker - Type of lizard used for hunting (Mormonia's version of dogs)
Criah's turn - Every turn is a season named after a god. Criah's turn is named after the god of death, grief, hope and forgiveness. This turn is effectively winter
Next Wake - tomorrow
Hollinswake - tenth day of the week (there are ten days in a week), named after the goddess Hollin (diety of dreams and nightmares)
Halax - Creator goddess
Dandorwake - fifth day of the week, named after Dandor (diety of aspiration and responsibility)
Cycle - year
Half Watch - half an hour
Brak-Hah - God of the Sun, Light, Children and Joy
Hanndoal's Turn - Fall season, named after Hanndoal (diety of Trickery, Fun, Truth and Creativity)
Forruxik - God of Justice, Order, Wisdom and Intelligence
Mormonia - World
Tenth Watch - Days are split into 12 watches, each lasting 2 hours 24 minutes long
The Realms - There are an undetermined amount of realms of reality, with the three most pressing ones being the Looking Realm (our realm), the Feeling Realm (the realm where the otherworldly live) and the Highest Realm (the realm where Gods live)
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Konig Dump
Alternate Universes
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skylermadness · 2 days
Text
Snack Shenanigans [A Side] (Scott Howl TF/TG/MC)
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(Original Date of Upload: October 27, 2023)
Wow, it's been about a year since the last time I wrote an FtM TF/TG and so far both FtMs I've written back to back are into werewolf characters. I've been itching to write out another Scott Howl FtM for a while now so I decided to finally get off my butt and actually write one! I'm trying to go back to more simplistic plots and such so the set-up and such is a bit short but I don't mind it. I'm just glad to provide more jock character FtMs in the world. It's a fun little subgenre that there just isn't enough of! On a more interesting note, this is the first time I managed to complete a second self-imposed challenge on myself: giving a story an alt! This was an idea that I thought worked for multiple characters and decided why not reuse it for an alternative version of the story into a different story! If you want to read it (which is a TF into the character Gunzo from Tokyo Afterschool Summoners). That'll be uploaded later this week.
   One of the more prominent constants when it came to Madison's daily trips to her college campus were her visits to the cafeteria vending machines. And more often than not whenever she did she would typically buy the exact same thing from the machine’s array of snack foods. Most of her freshman year in college was spent buying out the machine’s mini-sandwich cookie stock, but she eventually grew tired of those and switched over to either chips or chocolate bars depending on her mood that week. With all things considered her trips to the vending machine were short, simplistic, and unchanging.
   That was until today anyway. Madison found herself staring through the machine’s glass in curiosity, her eyes instantly scrutinizing a change in the machine’s selection. Usually the item labeled 206 was some random bag of chips whose brand she didn’t care to memorize since it wasn’t the kind she ordered. However she knew that what occupied that label wasn’t the brand she didn’t remember. Rather it seemed to be something new and unfamiliar to the woman.
   The bag was simply labeled Scott Snacks with a fairly simple graphic of a bunch of potato chips with what she presumed to be the bag’s mascot (a thick bearded and fluffy haired man) giving a thumbs up. On one hand, the bag did look fairly generic. Then again most chip bags have that feel so it didn’t fully matter to Madison. She couldn’t really discern any other details from the bag such as flavor, but at the same time the graphic gave the vibe of either something plain or something cheesy. Neither prospects were ones she was against, especially since in the end all of this was just an excuse for her to deaden her appetite for the remainder of her classes. 
   With her mind made up Madison made the order with the vending machine. A satisfying thunk could be heard as the bag was pushed forward off the conveyor and into the machine’s pick-up box. She always despised when things got stuck in the vending machine, it was always a slightly embarrassing hassle…
   Successfully retrieving her snack, she idly placed it into her backpack before hauling it onto her back and making her way out of the cafeteria. Madison disliked eating around other people she was unfamiliar with, the woman much rather preferring to find a nice quiet seat on one of the hallway benches and eating whatever she retrieved there. A short trek and a turn would lead her to her favorite spot of solitude (barring the occasional person who would walk out the elevator beside the bench). Placing her backpack beside her as she took a seat she removed the bag of unfamiliar chips from its confines and opened it. Casually she leaned her back against the wall behind her, finally opening the bag of chips and taking one out.
   Considering the unfamiliarity of the situation, Madison had deemed it necessary to eye up the singular chip for a good few seconds. Standard looking potato chip, orange dust that denotes a cheese flavor, some flecks of salt. Although as these exact terms roamed through her head she realized that she somehow sounded like some kind of chip elitist. So in the end she just disregarded her concerns and placed the chip in her mouth.
   …yup, very cheesy. Even has a bit of a meaty aftertaste as well. It wasn’t actually that bad. Perhaps this was a sign she could add a third snack into her vending machine rotation!
   With those thoughts in her mind Madison continued eating, the woman blissfully unaware of the changes starting to form on her body as she did. It was rather isolated at first. The fingers on both hands slowly got thicker, ends and nails getting more blunt with each passing second. This evidently continued as her fingers continued to grow in thickness with a similar shift in size quickly jumping to the hands themselves. A firm meatiness steadily accumulating within each hand; larger, bulkier, seemingly more powerful in appearance.
   That wasn’t the weirdest part of this transformation however. That came when something coarse started to poke out of the back of her hand. It was short at first with what looked to be follicles only millimeters in length, but it didn’t take long for them to grow out and quickly overtake the backs of each hand. What had rapidly sprouted from each hand were large amounts of dark brown hairs. This new development practically gives a more defined masculine feel to her already larger and almost blockier hands.
   Evidently this supposedly masc appearance was one that would quickly spread beyond her wrists and beneath the sleeves of her sweater. Her musculature was the first that began to get affected. A mild heat surged through them as a steady thickness slowly burgeoned within each arm. Raw strength building up in each limb and filling their once slender appearance with a now dense and much more powerful look to them. It wasn't long until the sleeves of her sweater began filling out and the outlines of her muscles etched into the fabric.
   The warmth in Madison's arms only grew more prominent as well with the hairiness of her hands quickly trailing up to her forearms. Heavy amounts of brown hairs coating their way across the back of each arm, the density of this forest of almost fur-like hairs getting more and more thick the closer it got towards her elbows. This steady increase in arm hair density would soon result in a thick tuft of arm hair that practically spiked out of each forearm. Unfortunately for the time being it would seem this major growth would remain hidden in her sleeves.
   Less dense, albeit still very prominent, arm hair growth continued as it made its way to her upper arms and shoulders to coat the outer sections of them with ease. It was also by now that some of the more major muscle groups had gotten their almost instant workout with her biceps having bulked up alongside her triceps. The broadness of Madison's shoulders increased drastically as the deltoid muscles developed and rounded out even more. By this point the almost fragile seaming of her sweater began to break, tears forming against the new brawniness of her arms and revealing bits of her new coat of hair.
   The sudden sounds of tearing finally alerted her to the changes, Madison placing the chip she was holding in her mouth before inspecting the source of the sound. Her eyes widened. "Wh-huh…? What happened to my arm?? And is that… hair…?"
   Her gaze trailed downwards, the woman inspecting one arm up until she laid eyes on her hands. "How long have they been like that!?"
   A part of her wanted to panic but something about the sight was just intriguing. She held a changed hand up in front of her, looking at the thickness and hairiness of it all. It was a little uncanny, especially with all the chip dust, but it looked firm. Strong.
   While Madison preoccupied with staring at her hand the changes in her physical form only continued. It didn't take long for everything to move beyond her shoulders. The two waves of transformation quickly crashed into each other at the midline of her chest and from there expanded even more across the woman's body. 
   The overall width of Madison's frame was probably the next thing to start changing, her form broadening out and shifting to dispel her usually skinny figure more. This type of change got more prominent as her chest became the next part of her body to get altered. While the hair continued its spread and coating her chest, the fatty tissue of her breasts began to melt off and slowly flatten them. As it did so the muscles beneath them began to grow, swelling out rapidly to the point it would almost appear that her breasts hardened into thick meaty slabs of pectorals. These newly developed muscles would quickly grow to fill up the upper portion of her sweater, her now more masculine cleavage denting into the fabric.
   The lower half of her body followed not long after as it too was changing. Her abdomen churned, bubbling almost as abdominal muscles steadily rose from her skin. They slotted out almost sequentially with row after row extending out until she had been granted a six-pack set of abs. All the while the hair that had coated her chest was cascading downwards, the coarse brown fuzz rapidly consuming her abdominal region. By this point the frontal portion of her body just looked like it had a darker shade than the back due to all this hair. And as the hair trailed to the sides she could feel her oblique muscles begin to burn a bit, alongside some cramping inside her that took her focus off her hands so she could use them to support her abdomen as she bent forward in mild pain.
   "A-agh-" she winced, the sound of her voice seeming to crack only momentarily playing in her ears. She started to realize just how tight her shirt was getting, and she presumed it wouldn't be long until everything else would change to fit whatever form she was taking. A light haze was also entering her mind, thoughts steadily becoming a little bit harder as all these changes were overtaking her form. Curiosity faded to confusion, and that confusion quickly jumped to worry as she was still conscious enough to realize she didn't want to rip out of her shirt in a public hallway.
   Madison ultimately decided to forgo her backpack and the rest of the chips to her side, then lifted herself up from the bench and hastily made her way around the hallway's corner in order to head into the nearest bathroom. Luckily it was unoccupied, so she just rushed in there and locked the door before heading to the mirror. Although it would seem she didn't notice that she had subconsciously rushed into the men's room…
   Staring at herself in the mirror she came to the slow realization of just how large she had become. Not just in width but also in height as she evidently looked a little taller, especially with the hem of her sweater rising up her body. That and the slightly prominent feel of decompression in the woman's spine that seemed to grow more and more. Then there was this building pressure at the base of her spine that only continued to grow in prominence the more she continued to stare in the mirror. That coupled with the sight of more hair growing up her neck and beneath her jaw all made for this experience to feel even more surreal than it did prior.
   Madison raised her head a bit and scratched the scruff on her neck. "A-ahh…" she let out a light breath. It felt a little good to finally scratch that fuzz after all this time. It helped clear her brain up just a bit, but it inevitably filled back up with fog. All she could do was stare at herself in the mirror and scratch herself, her only statement being, "Just… what is happening to me?" She asked that with a smile however. There just felt like nothing to distress over. Not the weird muscular form she had, or the increase in hairiness, or the fact her voice continued to shift to a point that sounded deeper and more laid-back. 
   She didn't even feel the need to worry over hearing the back of her pants suddenly split open, a tail with thick brown fur seeming to have almost instantly elongated from her spine's tailbone and freed itself from the confines of her legwear. All she did was look behind her as something in her brain seemed to click with the new appendage. She curled it up towards her and gently grabbed it with her free hand. All the while a goofy grin had formed on her face. "I have a tail now!? Cool!"
   All during this sequence of events, the changes were also making their progression down to Madison's legs. This section of the transformation mirrored that of her arms, muscle mass easily packing into both sections of her legs with a quick pacing. Thighs grew thicker with bulkier hamstrings and quadriceps, and she could feel a surge of heat flare up in her calves as they bloated up with muscle mass as well. Her height continued to increase as well, and the brown hairs rapidly rushed downwards to encompass the surface area of her legs. All of this combined contributed to her jeans feeling severely more constricted, a few tears forming in the sides as a result.
   What followed were the changes in her feet. While hair emerged from the bridge of her feet, the overall size of them steadily increased in all directions. They got wider, pushing up against the sides of her shoes easily. And they got longer, heels digging into the back of her footwear while her toes pressed up against the front. It wouldn't take very long for them to grow to a fitting proportion for her new body, their appearance having quickly altered to fit the more rugged and masculine look that Madison now was possessing. It resulted in her shoes having immense trouble containing her larger feet with a couple rips already forming across the sides.
   The last person of her physical form that remained unchanged was her face, but as Madison started to see and feel the soft pricks of hair poking out her skin she knew that wasn't going to last long. 
   "B-bro!" she casually yelled out to no one in particular, her voice now settling into that aforementioned laid-back and male cadence that had been etching into it this whole time. "Guess I'll be getting a beard next! Might as well start considering myself a guy at this point!"
   The very thought of that was appealing to him. If anything, it felt like the always correct assumption. For some reason something about this new form felt so good and so much more correct now! It was as if it should have always been him!
   He continued to stare into the mirror, a look of enjoyment on his face as he saw the brown fuzz continuing to grow out his chin. This fuzz grew thicker and thicker, and it's spread expanded across his jawline rapidly. From the middle, trailing up his sides, slowly connecting to the slight sideburns he possessed. As his beard got more dense and bushy it gained an almost spiky styling as well. All the while his jawline shifted beneath it, broadening and chiseling out into a more square shape.
   If anything it would seem Madison's entire face shifted to gain a more masculine appearance. Skull widening for a broader structure, nose enlarging slightly, a certain level of toughness formulating across his skin. Bits of his beard even poked out from his jawline and onto his face in order to grow on a small portion of his cheeks. There even came a set of even stranger changes to his head's physicality such as his ears lengthening and sharpening to a point, or the hairs on his eyebrows increasing in amount drastically to gain a similar level of spiked bushiness that his beard possessed. There had also seemed to be a level of sharpness entering much of his teeth as well.
   All while these changes occurred, his hair was in the process of shifting and restyling to fit his new body. It had already begun to shorten as his beard was beginning to grow, and it continued to do so as his beard got more prominent and his face continued to change. Slowly it went up from being shoulder length to trailing up the nape of his neck to being of equal length with his chin, and it still got shorter as time continued. All the while the waviness of it was straightened, and the dark blonde coloration was deepened to the same brown as the rest of his body and facial hair. By the time his hair got to what the transformation seemed as an acceptable length, its density seemed to shift into something fur-like before bits of it fluffed and stuck out into a thick and messy spiky style. One that he just couldn't resist running a hand through to just feel the fluffiness of his hair.
   "This is so cool, dude…" he said, watching his hair spike back up after getting run through by his hand. And the man only continued to poke and prod at bits of his body by scratching his beard, scritching himself behind his ear, and giving his muscles some good flexes. He even couldn't help from tearing open his sweater from the front to let his pecs and abs breathe. Everything about this body felt so new, but at the same time the cloud in his mind was making it seem so familiar as well.
   Shouldn't this be his body? Why was it so hard to even recall what his other body was like? Did he even have another body? If this body is so familiar it just must be his, right?!
   He could feel his eyes beginning to drift to the side in confusion. "Ooh, too many questions in my brain! Is this what happens when you think too much…"
   For some reason he really felt like he wasn't used to using his brain for extended periods of time. If he were to be honest everything about it just felt drained! Like so many aspects has been dulled down or simplified in himself. All of this was making the concept of having an identity prior to this one feel so fleeting and incorrect. He just wanted to completely disregard it as too complicated. A lot of things just felt complicated at this point.
   He braced himself on the bathroom sink, mind in complete confusion to the point he wasn't keeping track of what was going on with his clothing. His attire had seemed to finally start to shift.The sleeves of his sweater slowly lifted upwards to unveil the dense fluff of his forearms, the rips all sealed themselves while the tear he made down the middle of his shirt restitched itself to look like it was meant to be there. The coloration of the sleeves bleached to white while the wrists shifted to red, meanwhile the actual body of the sweater shifted to the same shade of red. Buttons and eyelets lined the split while a small white and red-striped collar raised from the neck. With the formation of pockets on each side of the newly shifted clothing, it seemed his sweater had altered into a varsity jacket. Meanwhile a plain white t-shirt materialized beneath it and around his body, its size being just baggy enough to still reveal the upper portion of his chest.
   Following this came the less impressive changes in his legwear and footwear. His jeans just grew a bit to better fit his legs while repairing themselves. The tear in the back also restitched to look intentional, seemingly becoming a hole for his tail that went beneath the belt loop. His shoes did go through a bit more drastic of a change, also growing and repairing while the sides brightened to a red and the soles and front became white. The cloth toughened up as the strings became straps, fully shifting his footwear into a pair of athletic sneakers. 
   The man's thoughts continued to simplify as his earlier concerns were constantly drained away. Thoughts of a former identity and life disappearing, the rising worries about them being dispelled as he couldn't even remember what he had to be worried about! All that mattered was football and hanging out with his bros after all! Nothing to worry about from that!
   It was also by this point that his identity fully solidified. Scott Howl!
   Wait, is he telling himself to howl?
   "AWWROOOOOOOOO!!!" he howled out, the sound echoing through the small one-person bathroom. Once it was all let out he opened his eyes, a nice royal blue having embedded within them.
   "Oh wait, I was just thinking about my last name!"
   One of Scott's ears flicked as he heard someone knock on the bathroom door. "Uhhh, I'm taking it this is occupied?"
   The werewolf made his way to the entrance and opened it. "Was just finishing up with… whatever I was doing!"
   The comment made the guy who was on the other side of the bathroom door somewhat confused, but between that and the fact they were facing a large hairy man with a tail this whole situation was already feeling weird. "What were you doing… howling??"
   Scott just smiled and ruffled the other man's hair. "Sometimes you just have to let one out, y'know?" He then moved past them and made his leave. The random man just watched him leave, both unaware that the burly football player's interaction with him had left an almost pitch black stain in the follicles of the man's hair that very slowly spread across it. But they just shook their head and walked into the bathroom, deciding to just disregard the strange interaction.
   Meanwhile, Scott made his way down the hall before his heightened sense of smell caught a whiff of something… cheesy? Meaty? His head turned to find a bag of chips labeled Scott Snacks beside a backpack on top of a bench. For some reason his brain registered both as his own.
   "Oh, can't forget about these!" He walked over to the bench and hauled up the backpack to his back before picking up the bag of chips. Popping one in his mouth he comments, "This'll make a great snack before practice!" before going about his day…
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iamtired10 · 4 hours
Note
hiii, could you write a one-shot or headcanons, whatever you fancy the most, of newjeans (or just danielle, i dont mind!) with a thoughtful, attentive gf? someone who does not actively demonstrate that she makes an effort to remember their habits and preferences but deep down knows everything about them... 😍
and not in a "stalker" way! (☠) more like in a "I care so much about you it just comes naturally" way
thank you!! have a nice day♡♡
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masterpiece in your eyes
pairing - gf! danielle marsh x female reader
synopsis - you love knowing all the little things about danielle marsh—everything that makes her, well, her. but it’s not in an obsessed way; it’s just the kind of deep connection you both share.
genre - FLUFF (someone please request angst. and teach me how to write it too! im so over fluff)
warning - nothing just cringe and boring ig, dani have blonde hair here :(
word count - 831
a/n - fun fact... i always update before i go to sleep 😪
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the museum air was still.
the kind that made you want to talk in hushed whispers, but that didn’t stop danielle from bouncing on her heels, her eyes wide with excitement.
she was in her element—curiosity and wonder radiated from her as she stood in front of an art piece that you, frankly, didn’t quite understand.
but that didn’t matter.
what mattered was the way danielle’s face lit up, her soft blonde curls bouncing with every little skip she made from one exhibit to the next.
she turned to you with that signature spark in her eyes. “babe, look! isn’t this one so cool?”
her aussie accent mixed with the sound of wonder in her voice made it impossible not to smile.
you tilted your head, pretending to examine the piece like you knew exactly what she was seeing. “yeah, totally. the… uh, colors are super deep.”
she giggled, knowing you had no clue, but appreciating the effort.
that was the thing about danielle—she never needed you to be into the same stuff she was, but you loved the way she came alive around the things she loved.
you’d always made mental notes of her little habits, what made her smile, what made her laugh.
even though you weren’t the type to be super showy about it, you made sure she felt seen.
like how you always brought her that lavender-scented hand cream she liked when she forgot hers or when you made sure to grab the spicy ramyeon whenever you both went grocery shopping because she secretly loved the heat.
she never outright said it, but you knew.
you knew she loved it when you held her hand in museums, quietly slipping your fingers through hers whenever she got too excited and started wandering off like a curious little puppy.
and so, as she moved to the next exhibit, you reached out, lacing your fingers with hers.
danielle smiled at the touch, her gaze softening as she glanced at you. “you always know what i need,” she murmured, squeezing your hand gently.
she pulled you closer until your arms were lightly brushing.
“of course, i do. i’ve been taking notes,” you teased, nudging her playfully with your shoulder.
she blushed, that adorable pink creeping up her cheeks that always made your heart flutter.
across the room, you heard the unmistakable laughter of hanni.
your friends, they were gathered around an interactive display, messing around with a touchscreen that let you create your own digital art.
haerin was tapping through the colors with focus, while hanni was trying her best to mess it all up.
danielle waved over to them with her free hand. “come on, let’s go see what they’re doing!”
the two of you wandered over, still hand-in-hand, joining the chaos. “unnie, you’re ruining haerin-ah’s masterpiece!” danielle laughed, nudging hanni playfully.
“i’m adding to it,” hanni said with a grin, barely holding back her laughter as haerin shot her a death glare.
hyein was watching from the sidelines, clearly amused. “it’s abstract art now.”
you leaned into danielle’s ear, whispering, “they’re all such nerds.”
danielle giggled, nodding in agreement. “and we love them for it.”
minji, the mom of the group, finally stepped in. “alright, alright. give hae a chance to finish it.”
then she turned to you and danielle, raising an eyebrow. “enjoying the tour?”
“yeah, it’s been amazing!” danielle beamed, her excitement spilling out. she turned to you with a wide smile. “i love that we’re all here together.”
minji smirked. “she loves you being here.”
you rolled your eyes, but inside, your heart was swelling. danielle was so effortlessly herself around you, and that’s what made everything feel so perfect.
after wandering around for a bit more, you both found yourselves in front of a painting that seemed to catch danielle’s eye.
she stood there, staring at it, her expression soft and thoughtful.
“what are you thinking?” you asked, watching her closely.
she didn’t say anything for a moment, just continued gazing at the painting. “it’s beautiful, isn’t it? it makes you feel something, like… warmth.”
you looked at her, not the painting, and said softly, “yeah, you're right, it’s beautiful.”
danielle turned to you with a shy smile, and your heart skipped a beat.
you didn’t have to say much for her to understand.
she rested her head on your shoulder, her hand still holding yours. “you’re such a dork,” she whispered, her voice light and teasing.
“but i’m your dork,” you teased back, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.
in that museum, amidst all the art, the real masterpiece was the love you both shared—thoughtful, quiet but so deeply understood.
the kind of love that didn’t need to be shouted from the rooftops because it was already written in every soft glance, every gentle touch.
and in that moment, you both knew — this was the kind of love that felt like home.
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a/n - SORRY TO THE ANON IK IT'S NOT GOOD :( MY HEAD IS TOTALLY BRAINDEAD SAURR I JUST WROTE WTV POPPED INTO MY MIND LMAO. IT'S A MESS, SORRYYY! ANYWAY IM GONNA HEAD OUT NOW. BYE-BYE GOODNIGHTYYYYY!
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neflil · 2 days
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Aah here is the text post...
The usual couple doodles ::D
And future projects / catching up vv
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*taps mic* Yaelokre gabbro makes a return. Also new song is out! Go listen to it if you haven't jshfjjs
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Just gabbooo :3c
Okay so, gather up everyone. Schools started, I suddenly have to study and memorize two latin texts within a few days, history, and ancient Greek philosophy analyses and translations. Not fun, kinda! I don't have as much time as I did during summer and I can't finish a full drawing within a day. *But* ideas are as vivid as ever. And honestly I really want to do some of the stuff I'm imagining. Some are already in the works !!! These are mostly gabbro/time buddies related. Sorry fans of other characters but I spent the entire summer only drawing slate </3
Sooo... What to expect from me? Well:
• I'm writing a short fic! Which is close to being done- Without saying much- a replay of certain memories before the eventual death/creation of everything.
• I am currently doing an OC piece with two owlks ::D this should probably be next post if I finish it soon!
• More short animatics. Cus I have... So many songs... That I want to draw with the time buddies. Short ranging from a couple of seconds, to maybe a minute, so don't expect much. All I'll say is- guhhh y'all better enjoy flower face because all of these are with her songs lmfao..
> There are two songs atleast that I want to make almost full animatics, but that's probably not going to happen, so instead I'll take sections from them.
> Two lyrics from the same song I made last time buddies animatic. Cus I had a vision and I must fulfil it. If this continues, at this rate I'll animate the entire song every time I get struck with a vision, part by part lmfao.
> A possible gabbro centric animatic with the chorus of a song.
• And well, more school doodles/drawings ofc.. but those are kinda random. Please, if you have any suggestions drop them in my ask box!
• A certain fic might get an animatic. I won't elaborate on this. Patience.
• Lastly Mica and Slate piece, bc apparently I've never drawn them and that should be a crime. Some fluff to break up all this incoming angst.
These have a priority list ofc, but the way I work is pretty much spontaneous. So whatever I'm up for will take priority. It'll take time but I hope to have finished all of these within the next couple of months. We'll see how things go... I also have to balance other things and art in-between so blehhh. It's a mess.
Reminder if anyone wants to browse through my art easier without having to go through my entire account- the tag #noofposting is here for that reason. o7
Also also, since I now have these two animatics and more to come- to not get lost in my acc, I'll also tag them with #noofanimatics to be able to filter through my stuff easier.
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night-market-if · 2 days
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Hi, I finished book two, chapter six today and wanted to send some appreciation for what incredible storytelling you've accomplished with this project. I've sent a couple of anon compliments before after finishing book one I think, but I don't know how to express how much I adore this story so I hope you don't mind my gushing in your inbox again. You've managed to create a world that feels expansive and beautiful and often dark but also KIND. I feel a lot of hope when I read your writing, something I've been in desperate need of a couple of times over the past few years, and every time I restart the game I find delightful, messy, wonderful characters there to welcome me home for a little while. Gabriel and Hazel are my ROs of choice and absolute favourites, but I've found spending more time with Milo and Mal in this book great fun and I'm planning to go back to explore their poly route. Bella and my OCs haven't had much chemistry, but all of them desperately want to be friends with her and sit reading books round the same fireplace, pretending that they're not trying to guess each others secrets. The option to have her style the MC for the ball is one of my favourite moments of book one. I love exploring the night market and finding something new every time. I love the humanity of your dialogue and the chance to play someone who can be stubborn and stick up for myself while never being cruel. I look forward to exploring what comes next and send infinite gratitude for what you've given us so far. When I find a new job, being able to subscribe to your patreon is high on my list. Until then I will be enjoying the games every time I need a little more hope <3
Thank you!
You've hit the characterization of the MC on the nose. I want MC to be strong. I want them to get to this point through their journey where they are confident of their own actions and decisions. But that does not mean you have to be cruel to achieve such things. You can be strong and independent without stepping on others to get there. I'm also a big proponent of not letting your trauma control you so I try to put that into the MC as well.
And a Hazelmancer!!! She is such an undervalued RO and I just love her storyline to pieces. It is such a relatable journey (minus the dark magic) and her story unfolding this book as been one of my favorites to discover.
Thank you so much for your words. I am excited to start crafting this story again. I hope you enjoy what is to come.
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @lady-lostmind! lady_lostmind has 84 works in the Stranger Things fandom and 55 of them are in the Steddie tag!
@oh-stars recommends the following works by @lady-lostmind:
This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.
Transfixed (under your spell)
Fuck
You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.
The Wall
"Mack is one of the best writers in this ship and I am so very lucky to read their work early on. Her Eddie voice is unmatched to me!! Every time I read a new fic of hers, I'm always shocked at how she can outdo herself with creating my next favorite fic. She's fearless in trying new tropes and genres, exploring super serious topics and she has some of the hottest scenes I've read. Every opportunity I have to read or reread her work is an absolute pleasure and I am so honored to get to see her flourish!" -- @oh-stars
Below the cut, @lady-lostmind answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I’ve been reading fanfic since I was a teenager but I never felt the urge to write my own until watching these two together. I think we can all agree there was some undeniable chemistry between the two on screen and they have such a fun dynamic to work with. I’ve always enjoyed creative writing in some shape or form whether it be for a class or writing lyrics for the band I was in, or the half abandoned novel I have in my docs. I decided to give fanfic a shot and then really loved getting to actually be a part of the community instead of lurking on the edges and leaving kudos anonymously like I had for years. But there is something so special about Steddie in particular and I’m especially drawn to writing Eddie in particular. His character has so many layers to explore and different directions to go and I love making him fall in love with his golden retriever of a man over and over again.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
I am a sucker for a good slow burn, especially with some hurt/comfort thrown in. Please rip my heart out, stomp on it, pick it back up, and hand it back to me wrapped in a pretty little bow.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
Honestly, the same as what I read. As much as I love a good fluffy one shot there’s nothing quite like the sweet torture of dragging your characters through hell before they get their happy ending. It’s so fun trying to navigate what they would do in difficult situations, and how that affects the story overall.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
This is such a hard question. There are so many good fics out there. We’re truly well fed in this community. I think some of my absolute favorites have to be You’re Divine by oonionchiver, and The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic. Both of them inspired me to do a lot of fanart including a bind and cover art for You’re Divine, and drawing all the album covers in TMRTAYSITDITIY.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
I never really know what I’m going to write next until it smacks me in the face. But I’m definitely open to whatever that might be. I will say I’ve never ventured into the omegaverse in my writing but it does seem like a fun one to play around with.
What is your writing process like?
Chaotic. I love writing but have a hard time actually sitting down and focusing on it. I either write a huge chunk all at once, or I write a sentence at a time while watching tv or something. I do really enjoy writing with other people though whether that’s in a sprint or word game.
Do you have any writing quirks?
If I have music on while writing it can’t have any lyrics in it or I get too distracted.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
Oh, a schedule is generous, I’d say. But I do prefer posting chapter by chapter. I feel like people engage a little more as they read each one and I love getting the feedback as I go.
Which fic are you most proud of?
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. I think my writing grew a lot during that fic and I’m really proud of the work I put into it. AYMFYIABHWABW was also the first thing I ever wrote for an event and was a big step for me to actually put myself out there and talk with other authors and artists. I made some amazing connections through that event and am so glad I pushed through any self consciousness to ask for a beta reader because I found an amazing one in oh-stars and gained a great friendship through that. They introduced me to karadanverss when the two of them were looking for some help modding the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang and I not only gained another friend, but got to dip my toe into being a mod, something I never would have even considered doing before, but have had so much fun being a part of as we set up other events together. So I think because of all that, AYMFYIABHWABW will always hold a special place in my heart.
How did you get the idea for This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.?
During a rewatch of New Girl. Nick Miller is honestly such a mash up of Eddie and Steve, and I could not get the idea out of my head to Steddiefy the scene in the hall where Nick says “Not like this.” It screams hopeless romantic Steve to me, and the title is a line Nick says to Jess way later and it never fails to make me cry. So, I started with that. Just wanting to do a similar situation with Steddie, and it morphed into something much bigger than I intended.
When writing You know what to do, when it gets hold of you., what was something you didn’t expect?
I thought I would have a harder time with Steve’s POV in this one than I did. I really wanted to show a side of him that I feel gets overlooked a lot since he’s always throwing himself in front of everyone else when there’s danger. But what happens when that danger isn’t there anymore? What does he do with that? It’s a side I hadn’t explored much before and I was really happy with where that took me. I really liked getting to see where Steve’s mind would go when the group is seemingly safe.
What inspired Transfixed (under your spell)?
Transfixed was written for the Steddie Summer Exchange! So I actually had this prompt: ‘Popstar Steve and rockstar Eddie having a secret relationship whilst the public and their own band mates think they hate each other.’ to go off of for it. This prompt screamed angsty, hurt/comfort so I was really excited I snagged it in claims.
What was your favorite part to write from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.?
I think it has to be the scene where Steve finally breaks down. When Eddie figures out what has been going on and Steve just lets it all out. If there is one thing Steve Harrington deserves, it’s a good fucking cry.
How do/did you feel writing The Wall?
The Wall was written for Steddie Love Month with the prompt: Love is letting yourself be loved and if that didn’t scream insecure Steve I don’t know what does. I remember feeling very bittersweet while writing The Wall because I know what it’s like to be afraid to let someone in again when you’ve been hurt, and how good it feels when you finally let that wall down and accept that risk because it’s worth it. I tried to capture that feeling as best as I could.
What was the most difficult part of writing Fuck?
Fuck was another Steddie Love Month prompt. The hardest part of writing this one was just trying not to cackle to myself about how ridiculous Eddie was being. This one was a lot of fun to write.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
Oh my. I think it either has to be the first scene I wrote for AYMFYIABHWABW that sparked the entire thing: Steve is staring at him, eyes wide and rocking a little on his heels like he’s so nervous he can’t stay still. Eddie’s stomach drops, his mind spiraling through a million worst case scenarios all at once. “What’s wrong? Is Wayne– Are the kids okay? Is it–” Steve holds his hands out in front of him and shakes his head. “Fuck, no. Sorry. No. It’s not–” Steve sucks in a deep breath, his hands shooting up into his hair before dropping to hovering in the space between the two of them. “Eds. I fucked up. I so massively fucked up. I can’t even begin to–[...] This feels like a fucking fever dream. Like something he’s imagined a million times over. Awake and asleep, In every possible scenario and position. All the times he fucked men in bathroom stalls and or pressed them against a wall in a dirty alley, this is what he wanted. And he was right. None of it even comes close to being this. This is…it’s everything. Fuck– it’s everything." Or this scene from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you where Steve finally gets to breakdown: Steve shakes against him, his tears wetting the shoulder of Eddie’s shirt. “I’m sorry.” Eddie shakes his head. “It’s okay.” He rubs his hand up and down Steve’s back. “Hey, you’re okay. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Steve sobs, his hands fisting into Eddie’s shirt a broken “Sorry” slipping out of him again. Eddie’s arms tighten around Steve, and he struggles to swallow the lump forming in his throat, tears welling in his eyes. Can’t help the way his heart breaks a little at the sorrow in Steve’s voice. How vulnerable he sounds. Because Steve Harrington isn’t vulnerable. Steve Harrington dives into lakes with portals to another world at the bottom without a second thought. Steve Harrington rips other dimensional beasts apart with his teeth. Steve Harrington marched into battle calmly, and confidently. Steve Harrington carried Eddie out of a hellscape on his fucking back. Steve Harrington is the rock. He is the one everyone leans on. And Eddie knew. He knew something was wrong. He knew something was going on. But it’s one thing to know it, and another to see your hero crack and crumble in your arms.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
The Eddie Munson Big Bang! Definitely keep an eye on our tumblr (@eddiemunsonbigbang) to see all the amazing fics and art that will be coming out. I’m one of the mods over there, and I’m working on a fic for it that I’m really excited about. If this is posed before the end of September…we’re still looking for artists!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
I’d just really like to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read my fics, or like any of the fanart I’ve made. I never expected anyone to really see any of it when I first started all this and have really loved finding a community to be a part of. I never had any friends who were really into fandoms or fanfiction, and up until I started engaging in Steddie content no one in my life even knew I read it. Getting to talk to, and make friends in this community gave me the confidence to talk more about what I’m interested in and connect more with the people in my life. So, thank you all for showing me how to be loud about the things I love and that I don’t have to hide parts of myself away!
Thank you to our author, @lady-lostmind, and our nominator, @oh-stars! See more of lady_lostmind's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
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