#writing for a rarepair can feel really lonely so thank you so much for your ask-- just the fact you cared enough to ask means a lot

[roxannarambles]

Are you still making Julinemo fics? If so do you take requests for like fic ideas?

Hiya! I am currently on a writing hiatus, so I'm not doing any fanfic at all at the moment. I WILL return to writing in the future, but for now I have some pretty bad burnout so I gotta take care of myself first.

That said, I'm so glad you've enjoyed the fics, and I will definitely let folks know when I'm writing again! ^_^

[aerodaltonimperial]

It’s nearing mid-December, I’m loopy as shit due to being heavily medicated for preschool germs that finally took me out, and that means I am gonna be REALLY SAPPY about fandom and fic and stuff for a hot minute, sorry in advance lol.

When 2024 started, fandom was, for me, kind of a shit show. We still didn’t know what was happening with Jack or if he’d ever come back to AEW and were heading into month five of his complete social media exile and disappearance. I had lost most of my OG fandom group after I deliberately walked away from the pairing I’d built my entire fandom reputation on. I was really feeling the effects of the overall decline across all fandoms of engagement and interaction, as things became less community-oriented and more of the (still true) TikTok content creation expectation that we’re still struggling against. It was a tough time! I really wasn’t sure I would stay! (In fact, in January of ‘24, I actually did step away for awhile, thinking I was probably done.)

The year 2024 starting saw me in this fandom writing almost solely for a pairing that A) did not exist prior to me getting obsessed with them in the spring of 2023, B) had not interacted in canon since May of 2023, C) half of whom was not even known to be ALIVE as the new year rolled over, and D) had never, ever been fandom darlings, let alone an actual thing beyond me dragging a few friends into rarepair hell with me.

That’s a really difficult way to be in a fandom! It can get lonely and difficult to keep motivation, and I feel like wrestling in general is hard anyway, simply because of the sheer number of characters and pairings and every single person in this fandom has attached themselves to something different. It’s a tough fandom to be in if you are creating, for sure, because you are really at the mercy of so much outside your control, haha.

We are ending 2024 in a way I never could have predicted, and I’m just so grateful for everyone who has been here or joined in this year or just supported me continuing to write the same crap all the time even if you don’t care much for them! 💚 Thanks to the feud I could not possibly have anticipated actually getting in canon, I was able to find so many new friends this year in fandom. We hit 100 works in the pairing tag before my birthday! I know it’ll never hit the numbers that the OG pairings in this fandom have, but that’s okay, and that was never anything I even expected. I’m just so happy that people are still open to reading my stuff and that I’ve got so many new people to flail excitedly with!

That’s really the part of fandom that matters to me: community. I love flailing with people, and being excited about stuff with people, and bouncing ideas off people. I love creating with people, because for me, that’s what it’s always been about. Being the sole creator gets really isolating, even if you love what you’re doing. And losing my original group I created with definitely factored into how tough I found times this past year and a half.

I didn’t get into this fandom expecting to make waves or anything, haha. I’m still kind of surprised that this rarepair ever took off and got as big as it has managed to, given everything. I wrote a shit ton of words this year as I dealt with the aftermath of finally admitting I failed at traditional publishing, and I’m beyond grateful that people took time out of their lives to read my silly fics. Sometimes people tell me that my fics made them smile on a bad day, or that they go back and reread old ones because they really like them, and I’ll never be able to explain how much that means to me to hear. I am so, so glad that I can make a handful of people happy with what I write. 💚

2024 was a weird year for me. My relationship with writing has fundamentally changed, probably forever, in the wake of failure. This fandom has had some real ups and downs for me that have changed the way I interact with people here. But I’ve also written some things I’m really, really proud of this year. And I’ve made some new friends who are so important to me through fandom. In the end, I’m still here, and I’m still finding joy in creating (when the depression isn’t bad), and I’m just really glad that you are here, too. Thanks for being part of things with me, everyone. 💚

[archaeren]

Hi Ren,

it's lavenderlight over from ao3!

I'm crossing my fingers that the infamous tumblr-ask-box-situation won't swallow my message! xD

I hope I'm not overstepping (and I don't expect a reply) but I just thought I'd check in - I know you've got discord but I don't think I have the spoons currently to make an account lol

So, good old tumblr it is :D

Anyway - I wanted to wish you happy holidays and let you know that I've been thinking of you (and your depiction of Chui ( 〃▽〃) ) and that LC:LS meant quite a lot to me over the past year - and continues to mean a lot to me.

Honestly, I keep thinking (constantly!!) about all of the chapters so far, imagining how the story might unfold in the future -

So, yeah. I hope you're doing alright and I'll look forward to any possible updates!! <3

Wishing you nice company, a warm blanket and a hot drink of your choice for the holidays!!

OMG hello!! You're not overstepping at all, this is so sweet aaaaa!! <3 <3 <3 I don't know how to say that it means a lot to me that the story matters to you so much. I look forward to your comments on every chapter SO MUCH, they're so thorough and thoughtful, every one of them is like a little gift. I'm so curious what other kinds of things you find yourself thinking about the chapters so far and the ones that have yet to come! It really does mean a lot to know someone else is thinking about it so much. It's a rarepair--the number of English language authors including the migikisa ship at all (let alone focusing on it) can be counted on one hand!--in a tiny fandom. (Someone recently asked me about how many longfics were in the Eng JJ fandom and I was able to rattle off all their titles and author names... because there are only three of them, and one of them is mine. XD) In such a niche pairing, it's easy to feel lonely, especially as one of the sole creators for it. You can't help but wonder sometimes if other people think you're weird or even annoying for being so invested. It can feel isolating. So for someone to say it means that much to them... it's really validating. <3 I got a bit sidetracked lately by doing fanart instead of writing, which is most of why I haven't updated recently. The art brain has a stranglehold on the writing brain! (I started writing again on Friday so I could update on Sunday and then on Saturday I was gripped by the drive to draw Chui as a character from Cult of the Lamb and that consumed my entire weekend... oops.) Actually, you're the one that inspired that art shift. It was that comment you left on Chapter 14, where you mentioned reading a quote that said, “People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there’s no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art.” I thought about that a lot after you said it and it really changed my perspective on my own art. I draw more now than I have in years, and I usually even like what I draw! Even though I can still see its flaws and still see my own influence on it, I've really made a lot of peace with that. It's been really eye-opening and empowering. I really want to get an LC:LS update out today or tomorrow because we're finally hitting the winter performance and the timeline of coinciding with IRL Christmas is just too good. I wish I could post one today and one tomorrow for the timing but I'm not sure I'll have time to finish them both and I'm not sure people would have time to read them anyway! I will probably content myself with one. XD Anyway, if you ever do decide to make a discord I would love to talk more! You can also just lurk in the server that's linked on LC:LS, though I feel like you would be a great addition to the culture c: Thank you so much again for messaging and I hope you have a wonderful holiday (with a few moments to spare for thinking Chui thoughts! I know I will be, hehe <3 )

[kokirane]

Who are your top 7 favorite ships ever (can be canon or non canon) from any media? Why do you love them? Thanks 🌻

Oooh, fun question! Here’s 5 solid contenders + some bonus runner ups haha, not in ranked order… this was kinda hard because my memory is so bad LOL, but also disqualified ships where I like them mainly bc of one character/one character is mainly focused on so it feels less balanced 😭 I tried to put ships where I like both characters individually & together.

1. (Current) Nagi/Reo from Blue Lock/Episode Nagi: they have the raaaange, I adore them sm… both amazing individual characters and then amazing together! Mostly love the mutual pining & misunderstandings, they love each other SO much in a way i couldn’t comprehend finding in a series like blue lock LOOOL (re: focus on ego/individualism) and it makes them all the more special. Also BLLK releases amazing AU ideas with their merch very often. I think Episode Nagi’s focus on them has been so beautiful (visually and emotionally) and I love the introspective look into their characters!! They’re really so so in love… my beautiful children I wish for their happiness… i love that they can be silly, stupid, bratty, and exceedingly soft with each other… wah…

2. Kouen/Judal from Magi: my forever most beloved rarepair… I love a good king x right hand + some degree of growing up together! They had me from their introduction scene where Judal made Kouen laugh, and they’ve had me every since ❤️ I really loved writing for them and I miss them often. I like their gray nature, Kouen’s role as a responsible/ruthless big brother type … with a soft side… and Judal is so charming in his bratty bravado and vulnerable center!!! also their powers are amazing haha. complementary!!! fire and ice!!!

3. Naruto/Sasuke from Naruto… the OGs, my first ship ever… what can I even say about them that captures how special they are to me LOOOL god… they rewired my brain, little nena was like “wow so this is what love is” bc of them… i started writing fanfic bc of them and realized my own queer identity LOL omg they are truly my big grand first love… writing this out it’s clear I have a type for “friends(ish) to lovers with conflict along the way” LOL and they were my first!!! Truly truly… so many special first experiences here. And I love them as they are ofc, not just for what they mean to me, but god. Theyre so special haha. Friends to rivals to almost lovers to eNEMIES/rivals again who YEARN ohsxhhsjx sun and moon… soulmates… thru thick and thin… nothing can get in their way for long…

4. Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang from MDZS: my beautiful damaged lonely boys with a fragile thread of the past connecting u both. when u were happy. when things were ok. and now you both have no one… unless… what if… u kindled ur bond aha… I think SC has a v unique dynamic and they came to me at a time in my life where I was depressed anxious and bitter LOL, perfeeect timing. And I think my time with my friends in sangcheng fandom was one of the most special, creative, collaborative and loving times of solace I have ever had in a fandom. ❤️ Truly the importance of finding ur own safe corner cannot be stressed enough… we did collabs and ship weeks!! (honorary mention to Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen here — also loved NieLan and running ship MONTH for them hehehe! but sc was my main.)

5. Dongfang Qingcang/Xiao Lanhua from Cang Lan Jue/Love Between Fairy and Devil: truly one of my favorite shows EVER and the romance is SOOOOO good, i cried several times. i’m willing to rewatch the show and usually i dont like rewatches… Unwilling collaborators/“enemies” to friends to lovers… so much emotional growth and healing and the lengths they’ll go to for each other… they’re silly, they’re sappy, they work thru their differences, he’d burn the world down for her and she’d die for him… sobbing into my hands whoooooo does it like them.

(… and an unofficial top favorite ship… is my Warrior of Light x Haurchefant Greystone from Final Fantasy XIV lol… a little too embarrassed and shy to get into that but. lol. not quite a self insert bc i think of my WoL as his own character and not me, but since im playing him and he resembles me a bit… lol. he’s my son! but. anyway, haurchewol is special to me too.)

EDIT: I FORGOT TO ADD MOMO AND OKARUN FROM DANDADAN!!! i just got into the series so idk if they are “ever” status as its new but im caught up on the manga and i ADORE THEM so v big potential to make top 7 in the future. theyre so so so so cute and silly and a power couple aaaaaah. insane abt them. dandadan is defs one of my fave series already for sure.

Honorary runner ups! Not in ranked order. These were all significant ships in my life but I think either too much time has passed haha or negative fandom experiences tended to dampen my memory of them, but objectively great ships where i enjoyed writing them, and made amazing friends.

- Shiro/Keith from VLD - soulmates, eternally devoted, perfect 10/10 no notes. no i did not watch the last season lol. lots of discourse and drama but got lifelong friends out of this fandom :)

- Kojiro Nanjo/Kaoru Sakurayashiki from SK8 (honorary mention to TadaAi from SK8 also) - adorable cute perfect fun. significant and great time in my life when things were good. things then became less good in fandom and life lol. unfortunate that my ex and i associated ourselves with matchablossom which wss cute and fun until it ended. got my first tattoo in mb’s honor tho (when things were still good and fun hahaha, pre-partner association. i got them into sk8 when we first started dating) and also have one for narusasu. have a bird tattoo i associate with nie huaisang also. Anyway SK8 was a great show, love my friends from it. Hated the constant drama and discourse tho.

- Hua Cheng/Xie Lian and Feng Xin/Mu Qing from TGCF - both lovely and wonderful ships but i think time passed & my energy for them faded and while they will forever be special to me idk abt favorite of all time… tgcf fandom was a mess lol. didnt stay long.

- Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu: very fun! I should read the novels and then likely they can become a Top 7 forever favorite haha… I’m very fond of them.

- Shizou Heiwajima/Izaya Orihara from Durarara: maybe my second ? big ship ever after narusasu :) durarara novels influenced my writing style early on! they’re amazing and unique and this mainly is a time thing - its been… 10 yrs since my shizaya era :0

[sunsetmaidenwrites]

Hi! In Your Eyes? 👀 (I have been down the Ava x Bucky rabbit hole before)

Hi! Thanks so much for asking me about this one. This is a rarepair that really captures my interest. I wrote a one shot for them not too long ago and have been wanting to write more. (I have a bit of an Ava Starr-agenda. She's made a few cameos in recent stories, too. I find her very fascinating!)

This one is a movie au based on an indie flick by the same name. It has a twin flames concept, with Bucky and Ava being strangers who can sense what the other one is feeling. Somewhat aware of this from an early age and not really understanding it, they've managed to shut the bond down and shut the other out.

But as they get older, both find themselves desperately lonely and at a crossroads needing a connection. Ava is trapped in a loveless marriage to a controlling man; Bucky can't seem to escape his troubled past. Feeling vulnerable, frustrated, and lost, their mental connection sparks back to life and they begin communicating with one another through their shared bond.

Here is a snippet (language warning):

After that visit, he’d gone back to his cell, huddled down on the hard lumpy cot that was his home for the foreseeable future and he’d sobbed. Deep, silent, shaking shudders. Surrounded by the moans and howls and cursing of his fellow inmates, the smell of piss, sweat and broken dreams hovering heavy in the air as he mourned every way he’d gone wrong. Every mistake he could never fix because every path set before him had always led exactly here.

If he didn’t die in this hell hole, it would be another. Alone and miserable, getting what Fate determined from the start he had coming. His hands clenched into fists, and he wished he could hit something…probably himself. He deserved it after the disappointment he’d seen in Steve’s eyes.

I’m sorry, his soul screamed, but who was he apologizing to? Steve? Becca? His Ma for turning out too much like his ol’ man? Or maybe…maybe there was someone else. Some distant aching memory he’d pushed and hidden away, never completely relinquishing though he’d refused to give it a name for fear it made him a madman. Carefully, in the depths of his misery and recrimination, he unfurled one hand, letting it rest listlessly by his side as he waited. He could do it. Just once, though it’d been years. He just had to concentrate, open his mind, pull the cord on his tightly shuttered heart and let the phantom light in. Gulping down breath, spit, and guilt, he opened his eyes and peeked into the void. There was nothing there. Just the peeling, cold unforgiving gray of the ceiling. No other pictures for his mind to cling and sift through, probably because he’d forgotten how to dream so long ago. But there was something…just beyond him. Out of reach. An itch. A tingle. A certainty that he wasn’t as alone as he insisted. I did it for you. His mind screamed, his fingertips twitching in desperate beckoning. Just once. One more time. One last time. And I’ll shut you out. I’ll never ask again. He swallowed hard, tears leaking from his eyes. He was 18 years old, and he’d already fucked up every chance at a decent life. Please. Then by some miracle he’d never understand—surely the imaginings of a fucked-up brain—he felt it. The flutter of fingertips, grazing the length of his own. Warm, safe, and capable as they traveled up the length of his fingertips, before flattening so they were hand to hand. His real palm and an invisible shadow palm that existed only in his mind but felt more fucking real than anything else he’d experienced. He felt the sliding sensation as fingers sank into the crevices of his and squeezed. Held on.

Bucky closed his eyes once more, the silent sobs abating as he sank into the serenity of the moment. A simple touch. Surely all in his head. But it didn’t let go. And neither did Bucky.

[m-y--p-a-s-s-i-o-n-s]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Ah! Thank you :D <3 Wow this was way harder that I thought. At first I couldn't decide, then I decided on too many, it was so hard to narrow it down, so I'm not saying these are my top five, but I love each of them <3

The One That Got Away

Pairing: Jim Kirk/Spock (TOS)

Rating: E

Words: 30k

Summary: At Starfleet academy Jim and Spock were friends (with benefits), but when Spock left to serve on the Enterprise under Captain Pike, Jim was left heartbroken. Years later Jim was given Captaincy of the Enterprise after Pike's promotion. Aboard he was reunited with his old friend, but how much had changed over the years? Could there ever be more between them, or would Spock forever be the one that got away?

~~~ I've been proud of a lot of my fics, but this one is my one of my most recent bigger fics and I'm actually in love with it. I thoroughly enjoyed writing the entire thing, and I've reread it several times because I just love it so much. I put my heart and soul into it, I did my best, and I'm so happy with it.

2. First Day

Pairing: Balthazar/Lucifer (SPN)

Rating: E

Words: 14k

Summary: It's Lu's first day at a new school as a Math teacher and he instantly falls for the French teacher, Balthazar, who has an affinity for skinny jeans and v-necks. Balthazar's ex shows up and wants to get back with Balthazar, will he go back with his ex or stay with Lu?

~~~ This is an old one of mine (which I'm intending to write a sequel for one day), and while my writing has improved significantly since this fic, I still love it. I love the rarepair, I love their dynamic, and I think the smut is hot (I should, I wrote it, right?). This is an example of me writing a fic purely for me.

3. In Search of the Sun

Pairing: Jim Kirk/Spock (AOS), Jim Kirk Prime/Spock Prime

Rating: T

Words: 7k

Summary: Spock Prime awakens from a dream about his long lost bondmate, but was it really a dream, or was it the answer to bringing his love back?

~~~ I needed a fix it so badly for the Primes cause I just have sooooo many feels about them, so I wrote out my headcanon for Spock Prime getting his Jim back, and I love it dearly. It satisfies my Primes feels so well.

4. When Fantasy Becomes Reality

Pairing: Hank/Connor (DBH)

Rating: E

Words: 8k

Summary: Connor is away helping Markus for the weekend, so Hank thinks he’s safe to do whatever he wants, including an afternoon wank. What happens if Connor comes home early though?

~~~ I'm particularly proud of this one for the way I wrote it, especially the first chapter. It wasn't exactly something I'd written before, but I had a vision, and a strong love for these characters and this ship, and I did my best, and it's one that I go back to time and again because I'm so proud of it (and because its hot AF and I enjoy reading it a lot).

5. Under the Shape of Dessert

Pairing: Greg Lestrade/Mycroft Holmes (BBC Sherlock)

Rating: T

Words: 2.5k

Summary: After his divorce Greg finds himself lonely, so John sets him up on a blind date. When Mycroft shows up at the restaurant Greg can hardly believe it.

~~~ This is one of my favourites out of both of my Under the Mistletoe series' and an unexpected one at that. I sort of struggled for an idea for this ship, and then once it came to me I needed to flesh it out, and a whole story came with it, and sometimes those are the best types of fics. I thoroughly enjoy their whole interaction too, and the way Mycroft is with Greg.

[ir0n-angel]

Fic Author Self Rec

Tagged by @crackinglamb. Thanks, love. *bonk* 😘

Tagging @madangel19 @steamcaptain @st0nergh0ul @fiadhaisteach (chapters count too) @lilbittymonster @ranaspkillnarieth and anyone else who’d like to play. No pressure!

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to put pen to paper since pre-pandemic 2019. Too many forks, not enough spoons in addition to other irl problems. Still, I’m pretty proud of my own works.

In no particular order:

Spring Fever (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Edward Deegan, rated E, 5008 words) Part 3 in a currently 8-part series, and probably the most rambunctiously smutty of the entire set despite all of them being rated E. I fell down this rarepair rabbit hole by accident because I was physically incapable of moving around much during one of the worst heatwaves the Bay Area had seen to date; 115-119 degree daily temps. It grew into me becoming over 33% of the pairing, and I still have the most fics of it in the archive. Why is it my favorite? Emotional slow burn, and this was where my two knuckleheads were starting to realize that their FWB was becoming something More(tm). Plus, it was just plain fun to write.

A Way with Machines (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Nick Valentine, rated E, 3983 words) The first smut I’d ever written and, of course, it had to be with the synth. I wanted to write a story that was as realistic as one could possibly get romancing a robot. To date, it’s my most popular fic written. Side note: It’s also the first of a currently 3-part series, though all can be read as stand-alones. Why is it my favorite? I have a type and Nick hits the wickets. In addition to the realism, I also made a very clear and pointed effort to include consent for male partners, which I feel like doesn’t get enough ‘screen-time’ in... well, any medium.

Thank You, Monsieur DuPont (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Nick Valentine, rated E, 2602 words) Second in the 3-part Valentine series. I almost put my FO3 Gob/Lone Wanderer fic here, but decided I like TYMP better. So I tried to get into the Kinktober challenge, but -- throwing some salt here -- realized that a lot of people really don’t know the difference between kink and abuse. So while TYMP has kink (real kink), it’s no longer categorized or tagged for the -tober. Why is it my favorite? Aforementioned love of Nick. I had a blast writing probably the most straight-laced character in FO4 as being a sweetly kinky fella. It happens to be my bestie’s favorite, too, which gives me all kinds of good fuzzy feelings.

Time Cures All and Adjustment Period (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Vault-Tec Representative, rated E, 3295 and 2679 words respectively) Cheating a little bit here, because these two really should be read together. Another rarepair I’m the majority writer for. Why is it my favorite? The VTR, who I renamed Charlie, was one of the most interesting side character stories for me. I’m super proud of how I managed to seamlessly integrate it into my own writing. And it’s equal parts fluff and hot smut.

Be Near Me (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Hancock, rated E, 15612 words) I feel like I should warn folks by admitting that I’m not really a romanced-Hancock fan. To me, he is the ultimate best friend character. That being said... Why is it my favorite? First, but least: It was a personal challenge that I passed with such flying colors, even I’m impressed. And I never impress myself. I set out to write a fic with as many “and then they fucked” tropes as possible, but never have them actually sleep together until the very end. By my count, there’s 77 different tropes in this relatively short fic. Second, and most important: This is the fic that brought me and my best friend together. Now, 5+ years later, we’re found-family. And I’ll always donate to the AO3 fundraiser when I can because it changed my life.

Honorable Mention:  

Chapter 4 of Her Lonely Road, Walked Alone (Fallout 4, F!SoSu & Hancock, F!SoSu/MacCready, rated M, 7973 words) Oh boy, where to start with this one? HLRWA is part 2 of a 2-part series that must be read in order to understand. I have to point that out because I’ve had so many people read the second part and complain in the comments that they didn’t understand what was happening. Yeah, I’m still a little salty over it. It’s clearly marked! It’s right in the summary! Y’all! Anyway... Why is it my favorite? Given the chance, I think I would rewrite the whole series -- it was my return to writing fic after 11 year writer’s block -- but I would keep this chapter. One of my favorite characterizations of Hancock I’ve ever written. Best Friend Hancock forever!

[durotoswrites]

Character breakdown!

Hmm, how about Dr Trent

Oh, I've got some thoughts on about our enigmatic Doctor! As usual, I rambled a bit, so it'll be under the cut below!

Thank you all for your patience as I continue with these. Asks are still open. It's taking a bit longer than I was anticipating, and, speaking of doctors, I've been feeling under the weather. I'm still awaiting the results of my test, but based on how I'm feeling I have a hunch that I'm gonna be wiped out for a while. Keep your fingers crossed for me and my husband <3. Please take care of yourself! Drink your fluids, wash your hands, get vaccinated, and wear your masks! <3

Character Breakdown Ask Game - Still Accepting! ;)

How I feel about this character

If you would've asked me after initially playing Mineral Town, “What do you think of Dr. Trent?” I'd probably reply, “I don't.” He just didn't leave the biggest impression on me while playing More Friends of Mineral Town. I wasn't exploring too deeply in the caves and didn't have gold to spend on lots of medicine, so I often forgot about the clinic. I played HMDS first, and he'd show up for the festivals. When I got MFoMT and linked the games, I'd talk to him when he visited the Valley because he hung out with Hardy and I like Hardy alright, plus he was a fresh face. HMDS doesn't really give the player the deepest interpretations of the Mineral Town visitors, though.

I'd say now, I'm learning to appreciate him more. After watching some of his heart events and experiencing the ones beyond “Drink this questionable potion”, he strikes me as a little dense, but well-meaning, lonely, and trying to fill that void with his work, as he has been conditioned to his whole life. It kinda makes me feel bad for him. As I've been writing him in later chapters of my longfic, I've found that writing that more sympathetic, lonely side of him has been really gratifying. I really especially love the special event that takes place with him by the pond where he talks about his childhood. I feel like it gives us a good insight into his character.

My feelings about him are much more positive than they initially were, but I am admittedly still a little intimidated writing him. I'm hoping to get more comfortable with writing him as I continue including him in future chapters. He really is a fun character to explore.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Trent x Pastor Carter: A rarepair, and honestly, my only pair for Trent. Both being confidants with so much on their shoulders, I feel like Carter's gentleness that draws in Cliff does the same for Doctor. They mention drinking wine at the church some nights, while having friendly debates – they see each other as equals and find something they enjoy together. I can easily see their wine and debate nights turning into dates <3

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Trent strikes me as a guy who prefers solitude – he rarely leaves the clinic, and when he does, he's off by himself. Outside of Elli, his patients, Stu and May when they're at the church, and Carter, I don't imagine him talking to many people. I don't picturing him interacting with Cliff all that much, as when Cliff's there a lot, he doesn't speak much anyway, and Trent's not the super social type himself.

Trent and Rick could be casual friends. I can imagine Rick bringing his mother to her appointments and maybe they could relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed by work. They might bump into each other at the inn on rare occasions, but I don't really headcanon Trent as drinking at the bar. I think he'd prefer to drink in his room upstairs at the clinic or over at Carter's.

Trent and Doug would be on polite terms. I can imagine him ordering a lunch or dinner here or there with his busy life. I'm sure he'd tell Doug to go easy on the oil and salt, and absolutely no bread because he doesn't want to overeat it. He might get some gentle ribbing from Doug and Ann about it (I can definitely see Ann biting into a giant croissant in front of him to coax him into buying one – quickly being scolded by Doug), but overall, I think they'd be respectful of his healthy choices. Maybe they'd even have a custom salad for him, with some milk on the side.

Trent and the farmer could get along well – I could see him tending to their bumps and scrapes while the farmer talks about how business is going and maybe they stop by to give some produce or milk as a thank you. I can imagine him scolding the farmer for working too hard, only to be told the same in reply. A good friendship could form as they both take their duties seriously. Of course, the farmer can have whatever personality you like, so this is just my headcanon. I could see Pete giving Trent the business about burning the candle at both ends despite doing the same thing himself.

Trent is on friendly but professional terms with the gossipy housewives of Mineral Town. They're always happy to greet him when they catch him out on his rare outings. They all agree that he's pretty dreamy and they often try to wheedle information out of him about whether or not he has a special person in his life. They do it in a roundabout way and Trent's completely oblivious to it.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I would be terrified to be treated by this doctor, to be honest. He got a patient's blood type wrong? If Jeff needed a transfusion before that was sorted out, that could end... badly.

I know this is a strong word, but I really hate that his name is just Doctor. I know his parents were both physicians, and likely pressured him into being one as well, and I know Doctor is a name, but... It just kinda strikes me as lazy from a game writer's standpoint. I know that HMDS is supposed to take place 100 years in the future from Friends of Mineral Town and Trent's supposed to be a different person than Doctor, but I'm still gonna call him Doctor Trent. The guy deserves a name, not just a title.

One more unpopular opinion for Trent – I really feel that Elli isn't the best match for him. This might be more of a gripe on the way they wrote Elli than Trent, but I feel that she spends so much time pining over someone who doesn't see her as more than a coworker for the longest time. This is the same woman that is working full time, helping take care of her grandmother and practically raising her younger brother. She's the one making things happen in her own life – taking care of her family and being a strong person, yet she's so passive and I can practically hear her sighing behind that medicine counter. She is written a bit differently in HM for Girl, but I don't know if it's for the better. She is determined to do whatever it makes to catch Trent's eye (taking up swimming to impress him, considering dying her hair if Claire takes Trent as her date for the Goddess Festival). May I add that Trent doesn't seem to really notice ANY of this? Perhaps she does this because there's a part of her that wants someone to rely on and not feel like she has to do it all by herself, but it feels like the wrong person...? I guess I got off on a tangent, but I guess I just feel like Elli and Trent aren't all that compatible. Just my opinion, though!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I really wish that two of his heart events weren't basically the same thing – the farmer drinking an experimental medicine. This might go into unpopular opinion category, but I felt like there was a lot of potential for writing better bonding experiences than that – namely more variety. Trent was a new character in Back to Nature, where in HM 64 for medical care we had Doga, the potion dealer and Zack's mother, Gaya, who was the midwife (thank you Ranch Story wiki for those names not mentioned in the game!).

With the families getting shuffled around between HM64 and BTN/FoMT and Jeff and Harris no longer being in the dating pool, Trent (along with Rick) filled those slots in Harvest Moon for Girl. This is the first we see of Doctor, and he is the new physician in town, this time Elli stepping into a nurse's role rather than a baker's. This replaced the roles that were filled with Doga and Gaya. I do wish that Doga and Gaya had still remained in the game, perhaps as mentors for Doctor. Maybe they knew his parents and that could have been expanded upon. I enjoyed that there were more older characters and several generations living together – it made the town feel more homey. Doga and Gaya could have provided Trent with a more natural approach, which he says he is trying to aim for, and I can imagine some development in all of their characters as they each push for their own ideas of finding that balance of holistic vs traditional medicine. Basically, I wish Trent's social network was a little bigger, or that more people talked about him so we could learn more about him.

Character Breakdown Ask Game - Still Accepting! ;)

[cloudspark]

Hi there ! For the ask-game about your WIPs, I'm interested to hear more about : (in)convencince store ; skull shuts up AU and the rarepair week (Rain and Cloud particularly) if you have some time to answer it :D

oh thank you so much for asking!!! i always have time to answer :)))

(in)convencince store

a comedy/horror thing partially inspired by "welcome to nightvale" in which Viper is an edgy as hell, but completely normal highschool student who takes a job at a convenince store only to find it is an absolutely batshit supernatural horrors hotspot- where all of the other arcobaleno work. and also their awkwardly edgy chunibyo demeanour somehow makes everyone think they're an incredibly powerful magician and nothing they do can convince anyone otherwise.

the owner is Kawahira, excpet he is never around and nobody likes him. probably won't show up even if hell freezes over- "he didn't last time it happened", according to Skull.

Speaking of Skull, he is 19 and anyone you ask will confirm. How many centuries he has been 19 is more debatable. His fashion sense is as supreme as it is questionable... about as questionable as his standing feud with the ghost-police.

Then we have Verde and Reborn. Verde is the manager, but stays holed up in the backroom-turned-lab, so Reborn plays stand-in, waltzing around pretending he's hot shit and not the fake-manager of a cursed supermarket.

Lal is the vampire BAMF with on/off boyfriend Nello. Everyone but Viper have a supernatural sense for when they break up and get back toghter, which they do almost daily. "geez, keep up??"

Fon is nothing remarkable, really. Really really, except for the little "possessed by a demon" thing. Very kind and polite and occasionally kills and eats people and everyone treats it as a minor inconvenience at best.

Yeah so basically these are the main characters, and the do whacky shit like badly exorcising a daemon spade- posessed freezer or spring cleaning of doom. Everyone thinks Viper's algebra homework is black magic.

skull shuts up AU

ok so i Definetely need a name for this, but I couldn't figure anything good enough out yet lol. I did post a bit about this one before i think actually.

Ok but basiaclly a collection of short oneshots in which Skull is pretty much like his usual lovable self in his thoughts n stuff, but doesn't know much in the way of Italian and as a result keeps largely quiet around the arcobaleno and kind of fade into the background because he avoids inserting himself into things and even opts out when he can’t communicate it. Avoids playing grandiose because it just looks odd that way. A series of coincidences happen too, like things end up looking a certain way for an outsider on missions, and in turn, the arcobaleno ends up perceiving Skull’s personality/person much differently- and as some of it matches Cloud stereotypes they don’t question it.

Some funny misunderstandings, different pov’s and situations, and the arcobaleno gaining quite a bit of healthy respect/fear while skull screams internally.

KHR rarepair week cloud day

hey, u caught me lol, it's the bermuda/skull mid-16th-century-ish painter/model thing.

so bermuda is the son of a german aristocrat who moved to france to purpuse his passion of being a painter during the renaissance, who feels quite lonely in general but has developed a frindship with hsi myserious neighboor skull who now models for his paintings, though bermuda has feeling running deeper by now. this is a look into one of their sessions, as bermuda thinks on their relationship, his own feeligns plus the appeal of the mystery surrounding skull, but the frustation and doubt when it hinders them from getting closer.

KHR rarepair week rain day

ok so be honest; how obvious is it that i am way too fond of skull? haha, he's the best character though so obviosly i'd write for him.

anyhow in this one the prompt was "gamer" so skull gets stuck as a dating sim protagonist, except all of his dialogue options are consistently shit. it's halfway isekai too- as skull in his original world was a wannabe stuntman; he had just graduated and he wakes up to this with no knowledge of how he magically has a career now, he’s still the same person but he has a different history he doesn't know. while freaking out a little bit over how he can maintain this impostor facade checker face shows up and he gets his first 'dialogue option’ as he's invited to the choosen seven.

Thank you for the ask!!!

[veliseraptor]

Separate thought in a separate separate ask! In the danmei world, do you have any thoughts to share about your favorite rarepairs/crackships, and what makes them compelling to you?

oh man! this sounds like fun. see the thing here is mostly that I feel like I have a lot of pairings in the danmei world that are more “wouldn’t it be fun if” rather than actively shipping them, where - okay, I think of my levels of “shipping” something in sort of tiers. 

I’ve idly thought about it and found it interesting in passing

if I was recced a fic or a friend wrote one I’d read it, but I wouldn’t go tag crawling on AO3 for it

thought of it and went tag crawling on AO3 because I was curious if anyone else had (subset of “got frustrated when discovered other people had but they weren’t doing it the way I wanted”)

thought of it, went tag crawling on AO3, and came out of it shipping it more

would read fic for it

checks the tag on AO3 every day in case someone has written something new

would write fic for it.

so then it’s like. which level are we talking about, here? but I guess I just go to “things where I have feelings about them” and run with that, eh?

wei wuxian/xue yang. look, we all know at this point how I feel about this one, right? that it would just be - okay, there’s that post, right, that says the good version of this is where they have really fun sex where sometimes one of them comes up with a really cool new necromancy idea in the middle and the bad version is where wei wuxian finds out xue yang has been creating bodies for their experiments himself. :D I’m bastardizing, but you get the point. look!!! they’re foils for each other and everyone knows that narrative foils make for fun pairings. dark mirror parallels make for even more fun pairings. both??? yes, thanks

xue yang/jiang yanli & xue yang/qin su. these are two different ships with different textures but they fit in sort of the same boat for me, part of the appeal of which is “xue yang being around people who are genuinely nice to him is a really fun dynamic” and also “two women who really deserve to have a semi-feral murderer looking out for them, and the opportunity to go a little apeshit.” 

nie huaisang/jin guangyao/lan xichen. look, I like 3zun as much as the next person (though I mostly live in xiyao, obviously), but I think if I had to pick a nie to put in the a-yao/xichen dynamic it would be nie huaisang because it makes everything terrible, and I just love terrible dynamics involving emotional manipulation, and relationships that are functioning on different levels depending on the pov of the character you’re looking at. every character in this triad is having a slightly different experience of the relationship. I’m into that.

jin guangyao/xiao xingchen/xue yang. look I thought of it once and I have no idea how or if it would work but I’m into the concept and it does smash together two (three hahaha) things that I like. so you know. there’s that.

jin guangyao/jiang cheng. didn’t see this coming and I’m still not sure I ship it so much in the classical sense as that I want to see the weird wine aunt coparenting energy that they have together, but I’m exploring my options and I like what I see in a general sense. 

hua cheng/mu qing. okay, look. again, I’m talking narrative foils (mu qing and xie lian but also I think mu qing and hua cheng). I’m talking proxyfucking. I’m talking hatesex. I’m talking really ill-advised decisions made out of grief (unacknowledged) and anger (acknowledged). I’m talking very lonely very angry ghost kings (kinks) during an 800 year time skip. do you hear me here

jiang cheng/wen ning. unexpected?? and I’m still sort of circling around it like a vulture waiting for the big predators to leave so I can stick my head in its carcass (that metaphor got away from me). but here I am. two traumatized younger brothers whose trauma is very tied together in a lot of ways, with some things in common but a lot of things not? yes, I would like to see where this goes, thank you

hua cheng/he xuan. I feel like I’m cheating because honestly this is another one where I’m not so much like I want a ship as I want them to be weird friends, but I really want them to be weird friends, all their existing interactions in the novel are so hilarious and I just. want more of that. 

I was like “drunken hookup during 800 year time skip?” but I feel like even if hua cheng got drunk he might just end up crying and then falling asleep on he xuan, and also can ghost kings (kinks) get drunk anyway. so, you know.

lan wangji/jiang cheng. this feels a little more...expected than some of the other ones here but there’s not nearly enough fic about mutual grieving proxyfucking hatesex and I want there to be more of it, so. give me that messy timeskip content don’t I deserve it. I just like people hurting each other while also hurting themselves, is all

I feel like I’m forgetting some here. possibly part of my problem is I don’t know what counts as a rarepair! like technically I think songxue is but it feels more mainstream I guess than a lot of the other ones on this list. songxuexiao is also like. smaller in the scheme of things? but has a solid community built around it.

this is also leaving off all the very thoroughly gen relationships I want explored, of which there are so many and this post would get truly out of hand if I tried to get into that.

[willowistic22]

Hey :)

For your post concerning Ikeshot - would you maybe consider writing an Ikeshot Soulmate AU during the canon era?

Thanks in advance

left this in my drafts for the whole month bcs i was doing no content november which was definitely not used as an excuse of me not wanting to fight off my writers block heheheheheheheh spoiler alert : it was. but i got around to write this one so i hope it suffice! i mean i hope so bcs it ended up being 2.5k words long lol! 

So pls enjoy my canon era ikeshot soulmate au! the concept is where soulmate marks are in the form of the first things your soulmate says to you when you guys meet. also ik this will kinda flop since it’s a rarepair but pls do your best to not let it flop :) 

Ike doesn’t like the thought of soulmates. Not one bit. Well, at first he liked the idea of having someone out there waiting for him. He doesn’t need a mark of any kind to tell him that. He knows it on his own terms. But there was a little bit of excitement that exploded in his stomach when his soulmate mark appeared on his forearm. And it was… weird to say the least. 

He got his mark a year earlier than his twin brother, right on their 13th birthday. A delicate black writing engraved in the skin of his forearm. The soulmate mark stories he has ever heard were about people with sweet sayings engraved in their skin. It was all romantic, innocent, and soft spoken words tread lightly by the lips of their lover to be. But Ike’s? It was downright strange. None of those sappy and sweet stuff people say when the subject is about soulmates. Which is why Ike never bothered showing it off. He has heard enough jokes from Mike about that text. 

And here’s the kicker for his situation: despite getting his soulmate mark a year earlier, Mike was somehow granted the gift of getting a sweet soulmate line and meeting his soulmate first! That really pissed Ike off. 

He’s left with his thoughts on that subject this evening, carefully holding up his forearm while he lies on the top bunk he and his brother call their own. The words on his forearm echoes inside of his brain as he strokes the ink on his skin, blocking out the loud Lower Manhattan lodging house. He’s bound to meet his soulmate eventually. He’s sixteen for crying out loud! Mike met his when they were fifteen. So this mysterious soulmate of his has to turn up any time now. They have to. Ike doesn’t know how much longer he can keep himself entertained with stringless flings and flirtings with random guys in secret. 

Ike sighs desperately, dropping both his arms above his head and onto his thin pillow. He wished he was tired enough to go to sleep already since he doesn’t have anything to do before the lights go out in the lodge. He peaks down towards the lower bunk. Ike sees his brother fast asleep, cuddled into his lover’s embrace. Two chests, rising and falling at their own different slow pace. 

It’s not that Ike ever had a problem with Mike’s soulmate, the only problem is that Ike hasn’t met his and constantly feels lonely with the presence of the couple. Ike didn’t believe his brother when he said his soulmate turned out to be Jo Jo. Not only is Jo Jo practically a total opposite of Mike, Jo Jo is also out of his league. There’s no way a kind hearted, properly brought up, bright smiled boy would end up with a scruffy idiot like his brother. But the more time he spends with the two, the more he sees how compatible they are with each other. 

Ike is happy that they found someone to make each other happy, even in their sleep. He’s just sad for himself that he hasn’t found the one for him yet. Third wheeling is the worst thing Ike has ever discovered in his life. 

He sits back up properly, letting both legs dangle freely down the bunk. Ike puts on his newsie cap and his vest that was left hanging on the bedpost before jumping down the bunk. 

Unfortunately he wasn’t being careful and accidentally woke someone below him from the loud thud his feet made when it came in contact with the old wooden floor of the lodge. 

“Where are you… going?” a voice groaned.

Ike turns his head towards the lower bunk to see Mike lifting his head up slightly from where it was resting, rubbing his eyes a little bit to enhance his vision. He’d sit up straight, but one of his hands is strapped down to the mattress by a certain head full of brown curls. 

“Not tired yet. Think I’ll get myself busy” Ike replied. Before turning back to his original direction, he catches his brother’s eyes before he lets himself fall back asleep again, “Got a pack?” 

Mike snorts to himself with an eye roll, but it ends with a low chuckle. He gestures his head towards his vest left hanging up high on the bedpost, “Check my vest. I’se think there’s still half in there” 

Untangling the vest from itself, Ike sees one of its pockets forming a rectangular shape through the fabric. He slips his hand in it and fishes out a pack of cigarettes. His hand doesn’t feel the usual light weight of the tiny box he usually feels after getting himself a fresh pack. This one feels so much lighter, like there’s a lot of room in it. But Ike could still feel a few stems moving inside. 

“Don’t finish the whole thing” Mike added. 

Ike simply smirks down at him, turning around with the pack in hand. He calls out, “No promises!” 

“Pay me back if you do finish it!” 

“Also no promises!” 

“Little shitter” 

Ike turns his head around, and an offended look on his face as the twins’ old inside joke has resurfaced from the past. In the calmest way possible, yet still obviously annoyed, Ike voices out, “Fuck off, alright?” 

“No promises!” 

Mike laughs at his brother’s obvious annoyance. At the same time, Jo Jo starts to stir in his sleep. He stops laughing, directing his full focus on the boy shifting in his arms. Jo Jo groans as he flips to face away from Mike, letting out a long and peaceful sigh once he gets comfortable. 

Ike watches as his brother lays back down, holding Jo Jo a little tighter than before. The couple is enveloped back by their slumber just like before. 

There’s that jealousy resurfacing in Ike’s heart as his eyes linger at the sight of the lower bunk. But despite it, he is actually happy to see Mike like this. Being happy with his soulmate doing whatever. It’s a different kind of happy. It’s the kind that Ike longs for. 

He pushes that thought away for a while, walking through the loud lodging house. Some newsies went to sleep earlier, somehow being able to ignore all the commotion caused by their friends. Some are also just hanging out with others while they wait for the lights to go out. 

Ike chooses to be alone this evening. Accompanied by a cigarette or two, and maybe his own thoughts he’d like to sort out. He’d walk out the front door downstairs to smoke in an alleyway, but he knows the downstairs are currently occupied. Jack had warned everyone to avoid going downstairs because the borough leaders are having a little meeting. 

So Ike decides on the fire escape, since it already leads directly to the alleyway. Ike slips out the window, instantly noticing the lovely evening air. His only view is a dull brick wall with trash scattered around the ground, but he doesn’t really mind as the street ambience makes him feel less lonely. 

He notes the fire escape being a little wet, since it previously did rain a bit. He nearly slipped when he first stepped on the metal bars, but was able to balance himself pretty quickly. 

But to no avail, his feet clumsily slips away from their grip on the fire escape. It sends him falling down with a loud yelp, passing through the little gap in the fencing reserved for the ladder and onto the concrete floor in the dirty alleyway. 

Ike was disoriented when he rose back up from his fall. One hand on the ground to help support his back as he recovers from the impact, and the other rubbing the pain on his head away. He realized the pack of cigarettes is long gone. What he doesn’t realize is why the fall isn’t as painful as he thought it would be. 

He glances over to his legs, which he realized just now that it was tangled with something else. Someone else. They were groaning in pain as they rose back up. He catches a glimpse of the face once it was finally lifted off the ground, smudge by a little bit of mud. 

Oh shit.

Ike fell on another boy who obviously looks like he’s twice his own size. Not that he thinks he can’t take him on in a fight if he asks for one, but right now he’s too disoriented to even figure out how to punch straight. He quickly gets up on his feet, giving the stranger some space so he can recollect himself. 

“Oh look, the universe has thrown me a little shitter from the sky to ruin the rest of my already shitty day! Is there anything you can possibly do to magically make it better?!”

The words were uttered as the stranger got back up on his feet, revealing himself to be a tall and muscled figure. The mud also got on a little strand of his dark brown hair and his eyes were squinted with fury. But Ike wasn’t focused on any physical features this stranger has. He’s more focused with the words that he uttered. Words that Ike knows by heart by now. 

“What?” The stranger growled, deep and raspy. He realized the boy was astonished by something, but was certain it isn’t in any form of fear. 

“Do you have any idea how much shit I get with that written on my hand?! It made me look like I’m a fuckin’ dumbass my whole life!” Ike started his little rant, a little bit of rage building up from the pits of his stomach, “Oh, but of course I’se stuck with a huge asshole that doesn’t know how to be a decent human being and give a guy a break!” 

The stranger stays completely still, lips slightly parted. 

“How do you think I feel with that?” 

He shows his soulmate mark on his right forearm to Ike. A smaller font size and a longer paragraph written on his skin. Ike almost wanted to laugh. 

“Hey!” 

The two boys turn their attention towards the sound. Just outside the alleyway, right on the sidewalk where the rest of the world is, three tall men stood. There isn’t enough light for either boys to identify who they are, but given from the vague shadow they can sense trouble. 

As the three men take a few steps closer, letting a little lamp stuck to the wall illuminate their figures, they reveal themselves as the bulls. 

The boys activated their flight instinct, running towards the other end of the alleyway. The bulls chased after them while telling them to stop. Ike, being the smaller one, runs ahead and leads the chase. Hopping from one sidewalk to the other, crossing the roads without looking. 

Jacobi’s deli came into view in the corner of the block, despite being unlit. Ike kept running towards that corner and took a sharp turn. He makes another sharp turn towards an alley, just next to the deli. He hides in a little corner the deli has created. He has gotten away from so many troubles by hiding in this ‘wall bump’ because people miss it easily. 

He was surprised to see a large figure stopping right next to where Ike was hiding, huffing out heavy breaths of exhaustion. Ike said nothing at first, thinking it’s one of the bulls. He simply watches the figure hunching over their knees, trying to recollect themselves from the chase. 

But after a few seconds, he realizes it was the same boy he just met at the alleyway. His soulmate. To that, he widens his eyes and gasps under his breath. 

Oh crap, if he keeps on standin’ there we’ll get caught! 

“Hey!” Ike whisper shouted. 

The boy was still disoriented from all that running, but he was still able to pick up the voice. 

He saw Ike hiding in the corner, but didn’t think much of it. To that, the smaller boy just rolled his eyes and grabbed him by his suspenders to pull him to the little corner to hide together. 

Ike peaked behind the little wall hiding them to see if the bulls that were chasing them had passed. Just as he suspected, they were clueless as to where they could be. The bulls went past the alleyway. Until Ike was sure that they’re gone, he lets out a relieved sigh and turns back to where he is.

He was surprised to be met by a chest, but soon remembered that he had another boy hiding with him. A very tall one. 

Ike looks up to his face. The details are much clearer now. Brown locks, strong jawline, brown eyes, ivory tinted face with a few smudges of ash and dirt. The face sculptured... so perfectly. 

Ike only realized this now. Staring up at it, taking in every detail before him. Cheeks a little heated up when his head realizes how close they’re being. Chest to chest and Ike is up against a wall. 

And the other boy… he stared back. Just as frozen and shocked as he is. 

“I-I didn’t catch your name earlier” Ike mustered up the last bit of concentration to get that out. 

“My friends call me Hotshot” 

“Hotshot…” Ike repeated, nodding along without getting his eyes off of him. 

“But… you can call me Tyler. Y-y’know if you… wanna use my real name” Hotshot said with a little awkward cough at the end. 

“Oh…”

Ike has no idea what’s happening right now. All he knows is there’s a cute guy right in front of his nose, who is his so called soulmate. They’re hiding in an alleyway, and neither seems to want to move away. They were both caught off guard by the beauty their eyes are being presented with in front of them. 

“I-I’m Ike, by the way…” Ike added on, realizing he hasn’t said his name yet, “It’s short for Isaac. Y’know, ‘cause my twin brother calls himself Mike and we wanted to-- y’know what? That’s too long to get into…” 

The two share a heartfelt laughter. Their hearts pumping faster than before, the other being able to feel it right through their chest. 

“So uhh… Ike…” Hotshot started, still staring down at the smaller boy, “About what I said earlier…” 

Ike started to laugh, remembering what he meant. 

“I’s want to apologize… is all” 

“Y-yeah, the same goes for me!” Ike added, “Well, I don’t know if we should even apologize. We were supposed to say that to each other anyways!” 

Another heartfelt laughter, sounding softer than the first one. It somehow made the moment even more serious as it slowly died down. Their gaze hasn’t left the other’s. Nor, does it seem like they want to in the first place. 

“Ike, can I… try somethin’?” Hotshot suddenly asked. 

Ike simply nods, not having any clue as to what he meant. The message behind that was soon cleared the moment Hotshot softly crashed his lips against his, pushing his head backwards and gently pinning it to the wall behind him. Ike moves his hands up to pull him by his suspenders. Hotshot brushes his finger on his jaw, angling him up for a better kiss. Their lips moved in sync perfectly and it felt good. Just like how they would picture a first kiss shared by a soulmate. 

[hibiscustea9]

Hi! You have some great rare pairs in your fic. I was curious if you have other favorite pairings between villagers that you ship or enjoy reading about in other stories?

Thank you for the question and compliment! I do enjoy reading rarepairs, especially ones that go into depth about how they ended up together. Suffice to say, Elliott/Sebastian, Leah/Shane, and Abigail/Sam won’t be the last rarepair that makes an appearance before “Fire Walk with Me” is over; we’ll get to see another one crop up a few chapters into the autumn arc.

Some of my favorites that I’ve read in other fics include the following:

Shane/Alex: Given how Shane was a gridball star in his own right back in the day, I can only imagine how Alex had some hero-worship going on. Alex’s determination and drive, if put toward helping Shane break out of the cycle of self-loathing and making him realize how much people actually do care about him, creates the potential for such sweetness and growth for both of them. I would love to see a future for Shane and Alex where they settle into raising lots of blue chickens + Jas together and Alex comes to terms with his latent bisexuality and helps Shane through his alcoholism and they give each other the home life they always wanted to have.

Marnie/Gus: Marnie and Gus are both people who take care of others and care for them deeply. I’ve seen this pairing once before (and a pox on my house, I didn’t save the fic as a bookmark, argh!) and was surprised at how much I loved it. Marnie deserves so much better than Lewis and Gus deserves a relationship with someone who appreciates him for what a good, decent, kind man he is. I get the impression that Marnie and Gus both went through much of their lives not necessarily believing they would ever really be happy in the conventional way and so have made the best of what they have, not trying to seek out something that would actually make them happy. When two people who care so deeply end up together, it’s pure magic.

Harvey/Elliott: I don’t think this is quite so much a rarepair now, given that I’ve seen several fics recently writing about them, but I adore Harvey and Elliott together (to the point where I even had them once having a brief fling pre-“Fire Walk with Me”). They both are in a place in their lives where they seem to understand who they are and what they want or need, and they would be very good for each other. Elliott’s gift for words would provide the praise and care that Harvey so desperately needs, and Harvey’s work ethic and stability would really help to ground Elliott and give him a place of security. Plus, they’re both so damn sweet.

Kent/Sebastian: While I don’t particularly care for reading about fics with cheating, I have read some really wonderful explorations of a relationship between these two broken people, usually after Kent and Jodi get a divorce, and the image of them finding comfort in each other and offering support as they both try their best to navigate a world that seems in many ways to have left them behind. I can very, very easily see Sebastian having had a longstanding crush on Kent from when he was younger, perhaps being the first indication that he wasn’t straight (which I’ve offered some hints at in “Fire Walk with Me”), and of how a relationship of just friendship or companionship between them evolves into something neither expected but both desperately need.

Haley/Abigail: I really like this pairing, particularly where I’ve seen it as Haley and Abigail originally being friends as children but growing in different directions and their friendship falling apart after they went to high school and ended up in different circles. I think there’s a lot here that they can help each other with. They both have a need for some purpose in their lives, both of them have dreams that they’re afraid of pursuing, and both secretly want to be thought of as more than just what they appear as on the surface. I’ve seen some really lovely explorations of how they each help the other grow into the woman she’s meant to be.

Gunther/Penny: This one I have never actually seen in a fic, but I mean. Penny so desperately needs stability and comfort and someone who understands her, and Gunther is so lonely and never even goes out. I see both Gunther and Penny as suffering from terminal shyness and secretly pining for each other for a long, long time. They would be so good for each other - Penny could help Gunther come out of his shell and integrate more fully into the town, while Gunther could provide a home and a place where Penny feels completely herself.

Thank you so much for the question, and I’m glad you’re enjoying “Fire Walk with Me”!

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

Hello. Can I ask more than one? If so, please, could you answer 💎- What was your favorite part? ⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of? 🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing? If not, I understand. Could you pick up one from the mentioned that you want to answer? Thank you.

of course you can ask more than one! i'm hoping that i eventually get to answer all of them :")

my favourite part of writing is definitely getting to read comments on my fic and answering them. there's so much lore that i have built into this universe that i can't always add into the fic itself, but i want to share everything in my head somehow! getting to see other people's reactions and responses is what keeps me motivated and empowered <3

my favorite scene/chapter is unreleased and it's called Run Cried the Crawling; a few readers have already seen it because it's what inspired the fic! as for quotes, it would be this one from chapter 11:

“The story of a lonely god… spending so much time looking at the earth and wondering what it’s like to be there, longing for that integrated freedom. Sometimes the price of living down there isn’t worth it though, because being removed for so long means you’ll never fit in… it’s better to watch from afar.”

the quote is from Shadow and although it isn't my most eloquent or well constructed line, i really vibe with it. almost all my favourite fictional characters are isolated like this: The Doctor, Rohan Kishibe, Shadow, infinite, L Lawliet, etc... and it's also something i feel a lot of the time.

something i learned is that writing in your head is easier than on paper! i can sense the vibes of a chapter in my head, but when i try to write it out there's a lot of dead space i have to fill in order to blend the scenes together in an organic way. i also learned that much like with essays, i struggle to start and finish chapters!

for the one i want to also answer here:

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

not scene related, but i get nervous with my headcanons sometimes. having a neurodivergent shadow or a trans rouge or rarepairs like espio and wave makes me feel very exposed!!! obviously if someone is reading a gay sonic fanfic they're already in the right mindset for diversity, but there's always a chance someone is going to get mad at me for a ship or take on a character.

talking about stuff like s//lf h//rm or s//ic//de or trauma responses is tough to write in a non cringey way; something else that i need to address later is shadow's substance abuse problem. it's not a spoiler or anything because i'm not trying to make it some big reveal, but i don't want people to get the wrong idea :")

writing this fic is very comforting for me because i project my trauma onto these characters, and that's not always a good thing because it makes me more sensitive to criticism. still, i'm not too worried about my readers that are friends who have been so supportive! it just makes me anxious sometimes

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[intim3ate]

To Follow a Lead | Claude/Sylvain [Fire Emblem: Three Houses]

Claude doesn't mean to keep running into Sylvain, at first. He doesn't mean to develop feelings for him, either. But, as they say: coincidence is the mother of intention.

This was originally just a short concept about Claude and Sylvain flirting, but somehow it turned into a 6000+ word fanfic... Let me tell you I was empowered by how good these two are together. Like... they're both so shady and deceptive and I feel like if anyone is going to appreciate Claude's somewhat-underhanded methods of flirting, it's probably Sylvain.

God I love them. What is it with me and rarepairs, though?

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Of all the quiet places in Garreg Mach Monastery, Claude thinks his favourite might be the library. It’s quiet, solitary comfortably familiar way. It’s hardly lonely – he’s joined all the time by the people around him, flitting about and minding their own business, completely unaware of the plots he’s hatching or the schemes he’s brewing – but it is isolating, somehow, in its silence.

But that same isolating silence is worth its weight in gold every time it is interrupted. It doesn’t take long for Claude to become a familiar fixture in the library. The bookshelves conceal all manner of hidden secrets; some written in ink and charcoal; some found in the people hiding behind the shelves, away from prying eyes or ears; and still more whispered between those same students, whose eyes roam the room to make sure nobody is listening.

But someone is always listening.

Claude learns, quickly, that people pay him no mind if he acts as if he is minding his own business. They ignore him at best, and cast wary glances and whispers in his direction at worst. He is used to it, though, unaffected despite the occasional wish that that wasn’t the case. Sometimes, he finds himself wishing that he was the one leaning in and whispering conspiratorially in a friend’s ear.

It isn’t even for a lack of trying, really. Claude has made it a personal mission to be at least friendly, if not kind, to everyone he approaches. Sometimes it’s a genuine attempt to make friends, and others it’s what they all expect: a hunt for information, for something to use in his next plan. His mother would call it catching flies with honey. She wouldn’t exactly be wrong, per se, but… Claude had quickly come to the realization that even honey would not work if the flies thought it dripped from a wolf’s teeth.

A lion’s teeth, however…

Sylvain Jose Gautier makes no effort to hide his ulterior motives. He speaks to everyone like they’re the most important person in the world to him, lifting them up and telling them whatever they need to hear to nudge them in whatever direction he has chosen for them. Insincerity spills from his lips like sweet, sugary poison, and he knows it. He weaponizes it in the most insidiously gentle way, mixing it into his speech alongside his real, honest feelings.

It’s rather impressive, really, that so many people recognize it and still give him what he wants.

The first time Claude truly comes to appreciate Sylvain���s… gift, as he calls it, is a late night in the library, long after the moon had risen above the spires of the monastery. He’s alone in the dim room save for Annette, whose nose had been buried in the same book for hours upon hours. It’s just as quiet and peaceful as ever, but something about the late hour and the way the candles along the wall have almost burned to nothing sets Claude on edge. Instead of the comfort he usually feels among the dusty shelves, he is restless.

He looks to Annette and wonders if she feels the same. Her foot shifts beneath the table, drawing out a pattern Claude can not distinguish. He wonders what she’s reading.

His restlessness gets the better of him, eventually. To his credit, Claude holds out for a while - much longer than he normally would - but, as put-together as he tries to appear, he knows his restraint cannot be checked forever. And so, curious, he approaches Annette with a carefully-applied smile. 

“Must be a good book for you to be up so late.”

Annette frowns up at him, sleepy and annoyed. “Oh, Claude. I’m… just studying. What does it matter?” 

Claude raises his hands before him defensively, backing away instinctively. His smile, however, does not falter. “No need to bite my head off,” he says lightly. “I was just curious is all.” 

“Yeah, well…” Annette covers her mouth, trying to muffle her long, drawn-out yawn. “I think I’ve hit my limit anyway. I should probably go to bed. Just... one more chapter, I think...”

Claude nods and shifts, feeling a touch awkward. “Right. Well… good luck, then. And try to take it easy tomorrow, all right? You look exhausted.” 

A small smile graces Annette’s lips - a personal victory for Claude, as far as he’s concerned - and she silently returns to her studies. Claude returns to his own seat a few feet away, ready to resume his own reading… Except that the moment he re-opens his tome, Sylvain Gautier comes barreling in through the door, effectively destroying both his and Annette’s concentration.

Not that Sylvain seems to notice. Or care.

“Annette! Thank the goddess you’re here,” he says, breathing heavy and laboured as if he had been running. Despite the raspiness of his tone, however, Sylvain looks alive, face flushed and smile wide enough to light up his eyes. “Say, have you done… something with your hair? It looks amazing.”

Annette sighs resignedly. Claude takes some satisfaction in the way her eyes roll. “No, Sylvain.” 

“Really? You’re trying to tell me you just always look this good?” 

An aggravated sigh this time. “Just tell me what you want, will you?” 

And he does. It’s the usual fare: a girl kicking up a fuss after he’d broken her heart (though he claimed she had been the one to shatter his). “I just need a place to lay low,” he says. “The library was close, and she’s… not exactly the studying type, if you know what I mean. I figure I’d be safe here, and if it looks like I’m helping a friend study…” 

Annette looks like she’s trying to fight back a smile, but she just can’t help herself. “Fine,” she says. “You can stay. Just don’t get in the way too much, okay?” 

“Me? Never.” Sylvain smiles and takes his seat next to Annette. True to his word, he doesn’t get in her way… at first.

Sylvain sits quietly for a long moment, but it’s easy to see that boredom is slowly overtaking him, because he starts to fidget incessantly. Claude can’t help but watch; it’s distracting, and there’s something about the way Sylvain looks like he’s holding something back that makes his hair stand on end. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to wait long to find out just what it is that’s being hidden, as Sylvain suddenly blurts out: “I can’t take in anymore. Annette, look. See this? This entire section here? It’s all wrong.” 

Annette looks at him like he’d grown a second head. “What?” 

“It’s wrong. The formula should go like this, and that rune should be tweaked slightly… see? It’s missing a stroke.”

Claude raises an eyebrow, intrigued. He glances down at his book and realizes he hasn’t read a single word in the last few minutes, so he closes it and sets it aside for now. His research on Hero’s Relics can wait; this is much more interesting. He’d never had the impression Sylvain knew much of anything about magic, but…

“You’re right,” Annette says, incredulous. “How did you know that?” 

Sylvain shrugs. “Guess I just have a knack for this stuff. I…” 

He looks away for a split second, just long enough to catch Claude’s eye, and pauses before turning back to Annette, gaze lingering on Claude even as he turns his head. “The better question is, why are you studying this stuff, anyway? Isn’t it a little above our current level?” 

A sense of disappointment washes over Claude, though he doesn’t quite understand where it stems from. Had Sylvain been about to say something about himself? If he hadn’t spotted Claude, would his conversation with Annette taken a different turn?

He tells himself it doesn’t matter, that he isn’t interested. Claude has gotten quite good at lying to himself.

“Maybe it is,” Annette says, calling Claude’s attention back to the present. “But I’ve been interested in it for a long time, and I always try to study and learn as much as I can. You see, my father…” 

Huh, Claude thinks to himself as Annette describes her past in detail she would never, ever willingly share with him. How about that.

  It really is just coincidence that he keeps running into Sylvain, at first. Claude spends so much time in the library it’s rare that he isn’t around when Sylvain pops in to hide from a girl or - much less often - to actually study. But no matter what his purpose is on any given day, Sylvain always manages to find himself a conversation partner (never Claude, though, despite the frequent lingering looks in his direction), and he always, always manages to pull something interesting out of them.

Like when he runs into Bernadetta, who had run from Claude when he’d asked what she’d been working on. Sylvain manages to get her to show him a new chapter in the book she had apparently been writing and she swears him to secrecy over it, not knowing Claude is listening in as he selects a book across the room.

Or like how Sylvain pokes and prods at Dorothea’s taste in literature until she tells him all about how she aspires to be like the singer in the book she’s reading, which she had memorized even before joining the opera. That one stings a little; as much as Claude has tried to flatter her, Dorothea still refuses to grace him with even a single note of her favourite song. 

Sylvain even manages to get Dedue to open him. Dedue, who rarely speaks to anyone who isn’t His Royal Highness. Claude listens to them exchange quiet stories of their childhoods in the back of the library, and wonders what could have possibly coaxed Dedue into smiling like that. 

It’s as frustrating as it is impressive. Sylvain, arguably, has an even worse reputation than Claude himself, and yet while Claude can’t get anyone outside of his own House to open up to him (and even within the Golden Deer, he still has his difficulties), Sylvain manages to pluck the most interesting things about a person straight from their lips without even trying.

Claude wishes he had that kind of talent. He tells himself that’s why he’s so interested in being around Sylvain, but he realizes, when he watches Sylvain coax Marianne into smiling for him, that there’s more to it than that. He doesn’t dare put a name the longing pang in his chest, though; he convinces himself that it’s simply his own curiosity shifting off of the people Sylvain talks to and on to Sylvain himself.

Because for all Claude knows of Sylvain’s reputation, and all he knows about their classmates through him, he knows frighteningly little about the man himself. And that simply will not do.

Claude resolves, as Marianne walks away with pink cheeks and a shy smile peeking out from behind her hand, that he will pick apart the mystery of Sylvain Gautier if it’s the last thing he does.

And if that means continuing to linger around him when he’s chatting with someone else, well… so be it.

  It’s surprisingly easy for Claude to find what he’s looking for, even if Sylvain himself never speaks of his own interests. He’s oddly secretive, deflecting and redirecting conversation with hollow flattery or disinterested shrugs anytime it comes around to him. It may be enough to get his conversation partner to leave him be, but all it does for Claude is intrigue him further, push him even deeper into this strange, budding fascination he’s developed.

But Claude knows how to get around the deflection. He’s careful about picking his moments, and when it comes to Sylvain, he realizes right away that it’s all about finding exactly the right one.

  The first thing Claude finds out that surprises him is Sylvain’s apparent love of board games.

On his way to his usual library table, he passes by Sylvain and Felix sitting across from one another with a chess board between them. A generous amount of Felix’s pieces stand off to the side, and the smile on Sylvain’s face tells Claude he’s all too aware of his impending victory.

But, as invested as Sylvain looks as he studies the pieces, brows knitted in concentration and hand to his mouth in thought, Felix looks completely and utterly bored. 

“Are you going to take much longer?” he demands. “I have better things to do than wait for you to move a piece on a board.” 

“Ah-ah,” Sylvain chides. “Patience, Felix.” 

He moves his piece and knocks Felix’s queen off its square. Sylvain plucks it off the board and adds it to his collection, catching Claude’s eye as he does. His smirk grows impossibly wide, and he honest-to-goddess winks before turning his attention back to the game and waving Felix’s queen tauntingly before him. “You can’t rush perfection.”

No, Claude agrees, heart fluttering. You can’t.

  The next thing Claude learns, when he spots Sylvain and Ignatz together in the library, is that Sylvain likes art.

He sits on a table, one foot resting on it while the other taps away on the bench Ignatz sits on. They chat idly about a portrait of a knight in a book laid out before them on the table, Ignatz’s own sketchbook with rough drawings of armour set off to the side.

“The composition leaves a lot to be desired,” Sylvain says. “If the artist had chosen a slightly darker shade for more contrast… or something else entirely, like maybe a bit of gold… Yeah, that would have been better. Still, the knight’s expression makes up for it. He’s pretty handsome… as all good knights should be, of course. By the way, if you’re looking for a handsome, dashing knight to paint…”

He looks up as Claude approaches, meeting his eye and greeting him with a silent smile (and what a smile he has, too). There’s something there, something playful, something Claude can’t quite place no matter how much he wishes he could. In response, he raises an eyebrow, and whatever it is he thinks he’s caught in Sylvain’s gaze dissipates.

“Speaking of art…” Sylvain nudges Ignatz, effectively cutting off what he was about to say. His eye shifts, like he’s looking right through Claude, and though he’d thought for half a second Sylvain had been addressing him, Claude quickly realizes he can hear some girls chatting behind him. He doesn’t dare turn to look at them, or let himself laugh at the absurdity of his own thoughts, but the temptation is certainly there.

Sylvain hums. “Looks like someone needs to talk to you,” he says. “Later, Ignatz.” 

Sheepishly, Ignatz smiles. “Right. Goodbye, Sylvain.” 

They both stand. Sylvain passes right by Claude, giving him a private smile as he leaves (Speaking of art, indeed). It would have made Claude grin if he wasn’t so frustrated - he had actually been meaning to talk to Sylvain this time. 

Ah, well. Nothing I can do now, he thinks as Ignatz approaches him. Claude gives his fellow Deer a winning smile of his own. 

“Ah, Ignatz, just the man I was looking for,” he lies. “I’ve been doing a bit of light reading on the divine, and I think I might have an idea for your next drawing…”

  He learns that maybe, just maybe, Sylvain is more an actor than he lets on.

Claude doesn’t hear the whole conversation. He only just catches the tail end of it as he enters the library: Sylvain is with a girl; one Claude doesn’t recognize. It’s not an unfamiliar sight, but something about the way she smiles at Sylvain and flutters her lashes at him tightens his stomach.

“I’ll see you tonight, then,” Sylvain says. His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, tender as he tries to make it.

“Yes, you will.” The girl turns from him with a sly grin and exits the library, leaving Sylvain all alone.

Well, mostly.

Claude doesn’t mean to look. He really doesn’t. But it’s hard not to when Sylvain sighs like that, chest deflating and shoulders slumping. The smile he’d worn for his lady-of-the-night doesn’t fall from his face so much as shatter like a porcelain mask, replaced with something darker and more… real. If Claude had to put a name to it, he would have called it disdain, but even that doesn’t seem quite right. This look is Sylvain, uncharacteristically natural and unrestrained, and it sends more than one kind of chill through him.

He doesn’t give himself time to dwell on it, because a moment later Sylvain spots Claude out of the corner of his eye and turns away, expression unreadable. He exits the library.

Claude tries not to think about it.

  But then, two nights later, Claude learns that Sylvain is much more genuine and intuitive than he lets on, too.

Claude had been expecting to be alone in the library that night – it was late, and the nagging questions in his mind of what the church was hiding made him restless – but when he hears voices drifting into the hallway from inside, he pauses outside the library door and presses himself against the wall so as not to be seen. He catches Sylvain’s voice first, and then… someone else’s. Are they… is she… crying? 

“Hey, Ingrid, come on…” Sylvain’s voice is low, almost inaudible. Claude holds his breath and sticks to the wall, willing himself into complete stillness and utter silence. He does not want to get caught. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up such a bad memory.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Ingrid insists. Claude can hear the quiver in her tone, the hitch in her breath. He wishes he could see Sylvain’s face. “It was my fault. When I saw this book, I… I couldn’t help myself. Glenn used to read it to me and Felix all the time…” 

A heavy sigh and a pause; and then, quiet and fragile, like the whispering of a ghost: “You loved him, didn’t you?” 

Claude leaves before he can hear any more. 

  It takes some time, but Claude finally gets his chance to speak to Sylvain when he finds Teach lecturing him about ‘improper conduct.’ The library is blessedly empty but for the two of them, and so Claude finds it easy to settle in and wait his turn. He doesn’t expect to learn anything from this conversation - about either of them, really - and he doesn’t know how long it’s going to take for Teach’s quiet tirade to end, so he selects a book on war strategies and takes a seat at a nearby table. 

He tries to read, at first, but within the first ten seconds he realizes the attempt is futile. He decides to ignore the book and listen in. 

It’s hard not to, with the way Teach lists off all of the… many, many complaints against Sylvain. Byleth doesn’t sound particularly angry as they speak (when do they ever, though?), but Sylvain sounds uncomfortable all the same when he finally responds. 

“Look, I get it, okay? I’ll make an effort not to be so overt about my flirting…” 

“Sylvain.” 

“Fine, fine! I’ll try not to flirt at all. Better?” 

No response from Teach at first; just a long, drawn-out silence. Claude can see them giving Sylvain the stare-down - one he himself has been subject to many a time for his own brand of ‘improper conduct’ – before they eventually relent with a sigh. “If that’s all I can get out of you…”

The conversation doesn’t last much longer. When Teach finally exits the room, Sylvain is left to slump in his seat and exhale in what Claude can only assume is a mixture of relief, aggravation, and resignation. He straightens up quickly, though, and when he does, he looks right in Claude’s direction.

A sudden smile tugs at Sylvain’s lips; Claude hurriedly looks back down at his book.

There’s movement from Sylvain’s table. Claude doesn’t dare look up, trying to keep the illusion of disinterest going. He debates saying something, though; now is his chance, now that Sylvain is finally alone. Claude’s leg bounces. He bites his lip. What can he say, though? Sylvain is—

A hand covers his book. 

"You can stop pretending to read now."

Claude's eyes snap back into focus and he looks up, bewildered but careful to maintain a straight face. Sylvain stands at eye-level in front of him, bent over the table with one palm flat against the wood and the other firmly on the page Claude hadn’t been reading. 

"Hm?" Easy, Claude. Don’t let him know he’s caught you. With an affected nonchalance, he tilts his head to the side. Sylvain just laughs at him - a small, pleased noise that pulls at Claude’s heartstrings - and leans in close. 

Claude frowns. He doesn’t mind that Sylvain is blocking him from his book, but he knows he needs to keep up the act for… for some reason. “You know that’s my favourite part, right?”

Sylvain sits down. “Uh-huh.” He withdraws his hand and uses it to close the book. Claude does not protest as he pushes it aside, not even bothering to look as the corner of the cover slides over the edge of the table; Sylvain seems much more interested in maintaining eye contact than ensuring the book’s welfare. More interested in studying Claude, gauging him for a reaction. Is he trying to play some kind of game? 

If he is, Claude is all too willing to play with him.

Sylvain props his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his interlocked fingers. "Except you aren’t reading it,” he says. Damn him. “You've been staring at the same sentence for ages. I can't even remember the last time you turned a page.”

Claude smiles easily. He's played this game before. “Oh really,” he says, drawing out the word. “Do you make a habit of watching people while they go about their business, then?" 

"Maybe," Sylvain chimes. Claude isn't sure he likes what the smirk on his face implies, but he can't wait to see where it leads. "Could be something we have in common."

His heart sinks - was he really that obvious? - but his smile widens. Can’t give ground too early, he thinks as he leans in too, arms folded on the table. "Could be. Care to elaborate?" 

"You seem to spend a lot of time in this library. Especially when I’m around.” There's something hidden in Sylvain’s voice, something dark under the forced casual tone, the false familiarity. Suspicion, perhaps? Or something else? 

"Is that so?" Claude speaks as if making a statement, not asking a question. 

"Yeah." Sylvain nods. His smile never falters, but his eyes narrow a little, just the slightest droop of the eyelids, enough to say that he's looking for something. "Every time I turn around, there you are. Call me curious."

Claude shrugs with one shoulder, closes one eye in a lazy wink. "Does there have to be a why? Maybe it's just coincidence."

"Coincidence that any time I have a conversation with someone, you show up and make yourself comfortable? You, the guy who never seems to do anything 'just because?'" Sylvain snorts and shakes his head. "Come on, Claude. I know I may act like an idiot, but you've got to give me some credit."

Finally, Claude lets his smile drop. He sighs, knowing he’s been beaten. If there's one thing he's learned about Sylvain in these last few weeks, it's that he's anything but an idiot. He might even be too perceptive for his own good. 

"Fine," he says at last, though not without some bitterness. He hates being forced to play his hand. "You caught me." 

"Not sure it counts if you're trying to get caught." Sylvain's voice drops along with his gaze, and for a moment Claude wonders if Sylvain really does know. But he keeps his own gaze and his expression steady, determined not to let on any more than Sylvain thinks he has. 

"Trying to get caught, huh?" he repeats. "And why would I want to do that?" 

“I can think of a few reasons…" 

It's a stupid line and Claude knows it - knows it's one of the many he's used on girls in the past and he shouldn't let it get to him, but he feels goosebumps prickle up his arm anyway. He curses himself for it at the same time he thanks the stars his uniform has long sleeves. "Uh-huh. Take me to dinner first and I'll think about it."

Sylvain raises a brow as he studies Claude once more. The corner of his mouth tugs upward into a grin, and Claude immediately recognizes the signs that he’s about to lose control over the conversation. He cuts Sylvain off before he seizes the opportunity.

"Simmer down, pretty boy. Much as I know you'd like a piece of this, that wasn't why I was hanging around you." Something sits funny in his gut as he says it - Because it’s a lie - but Claude doesn't give himself time to dwell. "It's actually… Look. I know this is going to sound stupid, but… nobody trusts me around here." 

He frowns and decides that now would be a good time to look past Sylvain so that he doesn't have to see those lovely brown eyes agreeing with him. Self-defense, as always. "I don't know if you know this, but I've earned myself a bit of a reputation. I'm a schemer, right? I don't bother to hide it.” He frowns. “So, Sylvain, with that in mind… what would your reaction be if I, the untrustworthy and heretofore unheard-of heir to House Riegan, just came up to you out of the blue and struck up a conversation?"

Sylvain leans back, hands behind his head. He grins and winks. "'Hey, gorgeous.'"

Claude kicks him lightly under the table, but he can’t quite suppress the smile that stretches over his features. "Knock it off; I'm being serious."

"So am I!" But Sylvain laughs despite the insistence in his tone. "I take it not everyone's as willing to play nice as I am, though."

"Nope." Claude crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Everyone thinks I'm up to something, or that I have some kind of ulterior motive in getting to know them. They're not wrong," he adds before Sylvain can interject. "But it's left me a little short on friends."

"So you've been following me because… you want to be friends with me?" Sylvain's brows furrow. Confusion looks good on him, out of place as it is.

"Oh, no." Claude laughs. "If that was all I wanted, I would've asked you to play chess with me or something. And don't even try to tell me you wouldn't accept,” he adds. “I saw the way your eyes just lit up." 

Sylvain frowns, that little spark of intrigue Claude had caught extinguishing just as quickly as it had blinked into existence. He’s sad to see it go, but that doesn't outweigh the feeling of victory that warms his chest. He continues: "I've been lingering around you - not following you - because you're good at getting people to open up."

"So you were looking for pointers." Sylvain frowns, like he still doesn't quite get it. No real surprise there; he still hasn’t quite made it to Claude’s finish line. 

"Wrong again!" Claude waggles a finger reproachfully at Sylvain. "I was looking to learn something, sure. But not about how to get people to open up."

At last, something clicks. Sylvain’s eyebrows rise up past his bangs. "You were getting me to open them up for you."

"Now you've got it." Claude leans forward to rest his arms on the table again. Sylvain's eyes narrow and he lifts a hand to his mouth, knuckle to his lips. 

"That's so… devious," he says. And then he breaks into a grin. "...I'm kind of into it."

"I thought you might be," Claude lies. He tries to ignore the pounding of his heart, part relief and part affection. There was always a chance Sylvain would be fine with it - the more Claude had watched him, the more alike he had realized they were, after all - but there was also the chance that he'd be furious, and he isn't sure if he'd have been okay with that result. "You're quite the wingman, you know. Even when you're not aware of it."

"I'm good at lots of other things, too." He lowers his voice again, both in tone and volume, and licks his lips. Claude swears he sees Sylvain's eyes dart downward again, but he tries to ignore the way that makes his heart beat, too. "I could show you sometime, if you like."

He tries to play it cool. "Now that you mention it, there is someone else I'd like to get to know better…"

"Oh yeah?" Sylvain looks genuinely intrigued. "Tell me everything."

"Well, we're in different houses, for one thing." Claude holds up a finger on the word one.

"Right, of course." Sylvain nods. "Why would you need my help talking to someone in your own house?" 

"Exactly! They're kind of obligated to talk to me." Claude snickers. If only that were true. "I knew you'd understand."

"Mhm. So if you need me, then you're probably interested in someone from the Blue Lions…" 

Claude nods. "Yup. You might even know them."

"Oh?"

"They're clever, perceptive, take all the worst opportunities to make jokes…" Claude laughs. "Or pretend to, anyway. And they're unbelievably attractive…"

"Ohh…?" Sylvain's smirk spreads, catlike, and his eyes narrow even more. He's practically making bedroom eyes at Claude by now, and it's all the Golden Deer leader can do to meet them with a straight face. "They sound like a charmer. Never mind helping you out with them; can you introduce us?" 

Claude shrugs nonchalantly. "I dunno, I get the impression they're already interested in someone else."

The quirk of a brow, and Sylvain's smirk twists into something more amused. "And who might this mystery man be?" 

"Well, he's dashing, smart, and always seems to have an ulterior motive for everything…" 

Claude meets Sylvain's gaze and holds it. He's still smiling, but he's acutely aware that it doesn't meet his eyes. He's studying Sylvain for a reaction this time, searching for whatever he's not getting on the surface. He can see something has definitely shifted, though; Sylvain has gone from easy flirtation to something a little more guarded, a little more careful. He's analyzing Claude just as much as Claude is him. 

But finally, after what feels like hours, Sylvain breaks the silence. "... So," he begins slowly. "How does this mystery man feel about them…?" 

It's like a weight is lifted from Claude's shoulders. Sylvain is curious - he's moving cautiously, afraid to reveal too much of his own hand - but he's receptive, at least.  And Claude has already come too far not to play every card he's got. 

"I'm not sure yet," he admits. "I was hoping I could find out over dinner."

"Ha!" Sylvain pulls back, lifting a fist to his mouth in an incredibly poor attempt to hide his wide, toothy grin. His knuckle bumps his teeth; his shoulders shake with held-back laughter. 

Claude tilts his head to the side, careful to maintain a curious, but amused expression. He wishes Sylvain would quit laughing and answer the damn proposition, but as with all things, he knows to be patient with this. 

Eventually, Sylvain’s silent amusement gives way to actual laughter. Claude feels a small jab of annoyance hit him in the chest, but it flashes like lightning and vanishes a split second later when he realizes it's pleased laughter, not mocking.

Even so, Sylvain trembles, and Claude manages to realize that it’s not with mirth, but nerves. It’s a subtle difference, one he has only come to recognize from so frequently seeing someone come close to piercing Sylvain’s careful façade.

"Ha ha… did you just… Did you seriously just ask me out on a date?" he asks, incredulous. "Damn. I gotta say, I'm not used to being the one asked out.” He pauses and looks away, scratching his cheek without realizing he’s drawing attention to how red it’s become. “It's… kinda nice."

"It'd be nicer if you said yes," Claude says, voice a thousand times calmer than he feels. It hits him all at once that yes, he really did just ask someone out on a date (but he's not just someone, is he? He’s Sylvain Gautier, who’s left a hundred hearts broken in his wake), and that he's tantalizingly close to actually getting one.

He just needs to make one more small push. "Tomorrow night?” Claude holds out a hand, palm-up. Sylvain looks down at it, and his hand twitches as if he wants to reach out and take it, but doesn’t yet dare. “We could go into town."

Sylvain takes a deep breath. His smile isn't quite… gone gone, but it's definitely morphed into something… different. Claude isn't sure what to call it - curious, perhaps? Disbelieving?

…Or maybe even pleased, if he dares to give himself that hope? 

Sylvain meets his eye. Holds his gaze. "Wow," he breathes. "You… you really are serious about this, huh?" 

Claude winks. Sylvain's face turns an even darker shade of red. 

"You know…" He looks away again, he grumbling into his hand as if he is suddenly unable to meet Claude's eyes. "There's a joke in here somewhere. Something about deer and lions…"

"Tell it to me over dinner." He's pushing it a bit hard now and he knows it, but the way Sylvain's lips twitch on a huff of laughter tells him it's a very welcome push. 

"R-right. Okay… yeah. Yeah, sure, why not? I’d like that. It sounds like a good time." He laughs again, a sound caught between disbelief and giddy satisfaction, and Claude finally permits himself to believe that the look on Sylvain's face now is one of genuine excitement. He's learned how to tell when Sylvain is acting for someone else's sake, and at the moment his countenance bears no sign of its usual pretense. Sylvain’s smile now isn’t the kind he usually wears: he is not waiting for someone to turn their back, not forcing anything he isn’t actually feeling. This smile is real, genuine. One of the few Claude has ever caught him wearing.

It’s… nice. And that is all Claude will allow himself to think.

"Great," he says, maybe a little too loudly. He tries to calm himself, taking a long breath through his nose in an attempt to still the furious beating of his heart. He's certain he must look like he's vibrating with the intensity of it. "I'll come get you sometime around… Hm, after the evening bell goes off?" 

It takes Sylvain a moment to compose himself, like he can hardly believe what he's hearing. Claude can't blame him – he’d never meant to take the game this far, even though it had been his end goal for a while. But Sylvain does manage to pull himself together, slipping his mask back on like it had never fallen away. And then it's right back to his old self, reaching (at last) for Claude's hand and taking it in his own. He grins flirtatiously as he turns it over in his palm.

Claude raises an eyebrow, simultaneously asking what Sylvain is doing and giving him permission to go ahead with it.

Sylvain does not disappoint. He grins and lifts Claude’s hand to his lips, closing his eyes as he leans forward to lay a ghost-like kiss on each knuckle. When he finishes, he gazes up at Claude from under his long, long eyelashes. "It's a date."

Damn him, he’s good. Claude swallows the lump in his throat, fights down the flush on his cheeks. “Can’t wait,” he says, a teasing tone to his voice.

Sylvain nods, a tiny jerk of the head (is he surprised he didn’t get a stronger reaction out of Claude?), and lets his hand go. He lingers a moment, once again holding Claude’s gaze, as if he’s trying to figure something out. But then he blinks, stands, and turns to leave.

“See you tomorrow, then.”

Claude waves goodbye and happily watches him head to the library door. “Yes, you will. Just don’t keep me waiting too long.”

“Handsome guy like you?” Sylvain pauses to turn, wink, and blow a kiss in Claude’s direction. “I would never even dream of it.”

It’s unbelievably cheesy, but it’s Sylvain’s way of getting the last word in. Somehow, Claude finds he doesn’t even mind the embarrassed flush that creeps up his neck in response as Sylvain smirks at him over his shoulder. How can he, when in the end they’ve both gotten exactly what they want? 

Claude smiles. Tomorrow night is going to be fun.

[glorywaited]

miyeon always has the best and the brightest blogs on the dash and this is a hill i will always die on, not because im biased as your friend, but because i genuinely respect quality efforts and attention to character. i feel honored to be able to write with you and if you were to go away i'd be horribly sad and lonely without u. i seriously mean it-- you're an amazing friend to me and i really want to support u as much as i can, and i hope we can continue too be friends for a long time

2019 is almost over !! send what u want to tell me or cass !! || accepting

MANNAAAAA i adore u sm !! ur so important okay !! i wish u can see how most loveliest that u are n i believe that we can both try our hardest to be more confidence in ourselves for this new year !! i’ll cheering u on n stay as long as u’ll have me tbh !! ur so supportive n sweet even if u dont have to be n i appreciate sm this !!  n honestly i can go on sm about ur eugene foreeeever because he’s ridiculously in character n his dialogue i can hear his voice n it’s just wow so spot on i’m in awe a lot when i read ur writing. u have his voice down so great n u blend him so well from the film n series then develop him even further from that n let him speak where the series only lets him be comic relief so often

honestly ur eugene is a big reason why i’ve written cass for so long ?? u inspire me sm n their relationship has developed so organically n so much over this half a year n i loved every single second of it n i love thinking up all these million aus for them i just am so GRATEFUL !!

n tbh u give me this rarepair of eugene / cass that i rly have soft spot for n our ot3 poly with our isola’s raps n i just love every minute of it theyre so amazing n im so happy because rarely anyone will let these ships happen n im blessed tbh thank u sm its been so fun to develop them all n develop this poly ship so nicely n organically !!

@flynni