#writing dazai in a way that's not cringe or bad is really hard
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angelicxdisaster · 9 months ago
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alrighty, this is a new account, so I don't expect like anybody to care about it, but I'm going to say it anyway.
I have 2 wips rn:
royalty au!wolfstar and lesbian queenxknight!jegulus with angst and crack and fluff and all the shit
bsd with dazai's sister!OC also with crack and angst and not a lot of fluff bc its bsd
i'm thinking of posting the wolfstar one here as little oneshots b4 i put it on ao3. (if anybody cares I'll put my ao3 in my intro post)
idk how to split the bsd one up into oneshots, it's complicated, and I haven't written a lot of it yet lol.
BUT
for every note this post gets, I'll write a sentence for each of them
and if this gets to, uh, idk, 40 notes, I'll post a bit of it and see if anybody likes it.
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sabh0 · 6 months ago
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What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.
For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T
God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.
I will be complaining more under the cut,,
First the overall writing choices:
-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.
-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.
-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.
-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.
-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.
-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.
-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)
I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.
.
Now onto the artstyle of the anime.
Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.
No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).
Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)
.
On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,
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tiredlilguy · 1 year ago
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omg what about spin the bottle with dazai at a work party and that’s how he finds out reader has a crush on him and they get scared and run to hide in the break room but he comforts them and they end up making out anyways (and anything else can happen up to you)
hiiii :D sorry that this took so long to get out. i got flooded with a bunch of ideas, but i'm going to try and finish up all the requests. i hope you enjoy! i did changed the scenario up just a bit though, i hope you don't mind ^^
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pairing: dazai x reader cw: N/A, not proofread desc: dazai passed his entrance exam, and in celebration, you offered to pay for the work party! though, your coworker, ranpo had over plans up his sleeve...
Working at the Agency had almost became like riding a bike to you. You were focused and you had felt like this was the job for you. At first, you had thought you didn’t really have the skills to be a detective, but thankfully with a little bit of training with your ability and the way you think: you were a focused and hard-working detective. Sure, you couldn’t solve as many cases as your senior Ranpo could, but you were doing pretty good for a rookie.
Everything was fine…
… and you were focused.
That was until… a certain brunette just casually walked through the door and stole your heart within a moments notice. You shook your head… maybe once or twice, and possibly slammed your head into the bathroom stall for a little bit, but the thought of him didn’t seem to go away. You were never one to believe in love at first sight, but the moment that you shook his hand, you almost short-circuited.
“ It’s nice to meet you, I’m your new coworker: Dazai Osamu,” he held out a hand for you to shake with that beautiful smirk he always wore. You shook his hand, but your hand felt faint in his, almost as if he was shaking hands with a tissue.
“ Uh oh, we’re loosin’ them,” you swore you heard Ranpo mumble under his mouth.
A couple days had went by, and now you heard news of Dazai’s passing of his entrance exam. You were glad that he was able to stay in a permanent position at the Agency, considering him a valuable coworker. Not to mention, you could occasionally glance over at him whenever you wanted. You were sitting with the other Agency members around lunch time as you had all wondered where you were going to take Dazai for his entrance party.
“ Say, don’t you think we should just stay here in the office?,” Kunikida offered.
“ Boo, now way,” Ranpo spoke up, sticking out his tongue,” The last time you did that, you got drunk and almost made a mess all over the floor with wine in your hand. It took a couple days to get rid of the mess there too!”
“ Eh…,” the blonde cringed slightly at the memory,” S-sorry… about that.”
“ How about we take him out to a restaurant?,” you looked up from your laptop.
“ Hm… that’s not a bad idea, but might be a bit expensive,” Kunikida replied.
“ I know a cheap one around here,” you smiled,” If we still want to keep it a surprised I can reserve it and everything. I don’t mind paying either!”
“ … and how do you suppose we’ll surprise him?,” Yosano twiddled with a pen in her hand.
“ I’ll take him after work! He won’t suspect a thing because it’s not like he’s known me that long, nor has he spent as much time with me as the rest of you.”
“ Smart,” Ranpo shrugged,” Though, I hope you won’t falter like I know you will. He might just go along with it even though he already knows there’s a surprise just because you’re cute.”
“ Hey!”
It was finally towards the end of the day, and you were the only one left in the Agency. Everyone else had finished up their work and left, and Dazai was finally writing his report after the case he’d been on since the morning.
This was your perfect chance.
“ Hey, Dazai,” you walked up to him with your hands behind hour back,” I just noticed you finished your report over there. Wanna come with me to go eat out?”
“ Call me Osamu,” he closed his laptop with a sigh, but smirked as he looked up at you,” I’ll come… but what’s the occasion? Am I just too hard to resist?~”
You felt yourself grow hot in the face,” U-uhm… Well, I-I just wanted to take you out is all…”
“ Then it’s a date!,” he teased, the cat-like smirk on his face only growing wider.
“ No no no!,” you shoved your hands in front of his face as your blush only got worse,” Just a work dinner, Osamu! My treat. Seriously!”
Dazai covered his mouth as he let out a soft giggle. You placed your hands down at your sides as you watched him laugh. For some reason… it was gentle and beautiful, listening to him laugh was like angels singing in your ears. You had to admit, his voice was ethereal in a way.
He let out a sigh,” I’m only teasing. Don’t worry.” He took up from his spot in his chair and took the coat that was over it, pulling his arms through the sleeves. Dazai held out his half-bandaged hand,” Well, lead the way.”
You gently took his hand in yours, leading him out of the Agency. His hand was surprisingly soft as he held yours gingerly. You couldn’t help but have a lingering smile that didn’t go unnoticed by Dazai as you both walked out.
Time had passed and you had surprised him at the work party you had all thrown for him. You knew on the inside that he knew that this was happening, but you still felt happy as he smiled at seeing his coworkers there with gifts just for him. Strangely enough, despite his eyes seeming to have a constant void, you swear you saw a tinge of sparkle in them.
It was well into the night, and you were growing rather tired, but Ranpo had asked if you could all play one more game (much to your dismay). You all complied, save for your boss, Fukuzawa, who opted to attempt to sober up before coming home. You, Kunikida, Yosano, Ranpo, and Dazai all huddled around together as you awaited for what Ranpo would want you all the play. Feeling slightly dizzy from the alcohol, you weren’t really paying attention until Ranpo placed an empty bottle down on the floor.
“ Spin the bottle!!!,” he shouted while clapping his hands together, amused.
“ Eh…?,” you fell silent for a moment, not sure what to say.
“ Neh… (Y/N), you start!,’’ Ranpo nudged your side, the smirk on his face only getting worse.
You looked around yourself, noticing the possible candidates…
Yosano would’ve been fine. You felt comfortable with her.
Ranpo would’ve acted childish, probably pushing you away.
Kunikida was a hard reaction to guess. Perhaps he’d sit there and take his punishment kiss, or maybe he’d also push you away.
However… Dazai…
“ No…,” you covered your face with a blush,” Nope! Not doing it! Actually… you know what I should use the restroom… I-I’ll… just… ha-ha… be right back!”
You quickly ran out of the room and into a nearby alleyway just outside of the restaurant.
As you leaned against the wall of the alleyway, you let out a sigh. There’s no way you could kiss Dazai… you felt yourself blush even harder. Perhaps he wasn’t even really a relationship kind of person, only using his good looks just for himself. Your mind was running circles…
“ (Y/N),” you heard a voice call out to you.
You shivered as you turned your head, meeting Dazai’s gaze.
“ Sorry, I was worried about you,” he walked up to you, taking the coat that was on him and placing it over your shoulders,” I thought you were feeling sick, so I wanted to make sure you were ok.”
You wrapped the coat around yourself, pulling the ends of the coat around you,” That’s very sweet of you… Though, that’s not really the reason I ran out.”
Dazai laughed again, but only briefly,” Oh, I know. That’s why I came out here.”
“ You… know?,” you felt yourself shutter once more. Great, now if he knew he’d only embarrass the hell out of you.
“ Yeah, of course I do,” the brunette smiled,” You’ve got a little crush on me, don’t you, (Y/N)?”
“ H-how’d you know?,” you only wanted to hide further into the ground.
“ Well, I could tell from the way you seem to be around me: you get nervous and fidgety… but I have to admit,” Dazai’s hand moved to touch your cheek,” It’s quite adorable.”
You hummed, looking off to the side, away from his gaze,” I just… didn’t really take you to be the romantic type I guess.”
“ Now that is quite the foolish assumption,” the brunette smirked, moving you to face him once again, though this time, he was a lot closer,” Hm… May I get my foolish reward for guessing though?”
“ If you’ll have me,” you let out a small gasp.
Soon enough, Dazai closed the gap between you to. His kiss that was placed on your lips was gentle at first, almost as if he was hesitant. However, you kissed him back slightly rougher, urging him to be just a little bit more intense. He followed through, gently prodding at your lips with his tongue.
You let out a soft gasp as you let him do so, opening your mouth for him. In the moment that you were close to him, you felt him wrap his arms around you to cage you in further. It was intense, yet at the same time rather comforting. That was until…
“ Hey! You still gotta pay for dinner tonight, (Y/N)!,” you quickly both pulled away, as you felt slightly breathless. It was Ranpo, and he was waving the tab in his hand.
Dazai quickly let you go, placing his arms at his sides with a smile. He seemed to be good at acting natural, all the while you were a mess besides him.
“… and don’t think just because I got you to kiss the guy means that you can get out of this!,” Ranpo called you over.
“ Well… I got my kiss and you got yours. Let’s get back, shall we?”
Flustered and a mess, you nodded, moving away from Dazai and over to Ranpo with his coat over your shoulders.
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ranposlittle · 5 years ago
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Hi! I just discovered your blog and I love your writing❤️ If that's not too much to ask, could I ask for a nsfw scenario with dom Dazai who edge his s/o until she becomes a mess and beg to let her cum ? And maybe, only if you're comfortable, you could include some mirror sex and vibrator 🙈? I’m sorry if you don’t fully understand my English is not very good 😅❤️ Thank you in advance ❤️
Genre: NSFW ( SO MUCH OF IT OMG)
Tags: Vibrator, Mirror sex, Teasing, Edging
A/N: Ooo another spicy for Dazai~ not much I can say about it other than I hope this is what you wanted and listen to this audio (warning: very super spicy aaa) if you'd like. I love this VA and his works hehe. Enjooooy! ⸜( ◍´꒳`◍ )⸝◌。˚✩
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˚ * . ⊹ • ꒰꒱ • ⊹. * ˚
It’s just been well over a month since you’ve joined the Armed Detective Agency and instantly developed an attraction to a certain peculiar man. Your wandering imagination have desired to have him in your room- naked and hovering above you as his hips swing back and forth to meet yours- so much so that when the opportunity presented itself in a form of a date, you threw all sense of pride out of the window and invited him back to your place. Of course, you are aware that your intentions was completely transparent to him despite of your best efforts to conceal it, but you didn’t really care as the aching feeling inside you grows each time you look at him. You’ve dreamt of experiencing pleasure through him as he pounds you into the bed but so far, you’re being proven that good things don’t come easy as he was still fully clothed while you’re completely devoid of clothing.
“Dazai-san,” your wispy moan fluttered through the cold air circulating around your dimly lit bedroom and the quiet hum of the fan was a distant muted sound that slips out of your mind with every contact of Dazai’s tongue on your swollen clit. As both of his thumbs hold your folds open, his tongue was free to roam and ravish every moist inch of your exposed flesh. Your head further sank onto the fluffy pillow below you as another suck from Dazai’s warm mouth sends you flying over to the moon. He moaned softly when your fingers curled up on his hair and your hips bucked up to his face.
“Dazai-san, I’m close.” You called out to him once more as your toes curled inwards and your heels pressed down on the mattress. “Please, don’t stop.”
Sweat was dripping on every corner of your naked body and your muscles ache as you were repeatedly drove to your peak, only to be forcefully pulled back down whenever Dazai would abruptly stop. The fuzz in your brain further clouded your mind as Dazai’s muffled chuckle vibrated on your sensitized core.
“Not yet, (Y/N)-chan,” he crooned, dragging a finger up and down your slit. “Just a little bit longer for me, okay? I promise I’ll reward you if you do.”
You whined as Dazai resumed on the task at hand, giving more powerful sucks on your plump sex. Once he felt your legs trembling in a familiar way, he popped your clit out of his mouth immediately. You let out a wanton cry; you know you’re a thread away from breaking down because of his cruel game. The bed wobbled as Dazai pulled your body up until you’re sitting face to face with him. He gave your parted lips a quick kiss and you tasted yourself on its supple surface before his signature smirk quirked up on the corner of his mouth.
“You look so beautiful, all sweaty and flustered,” he commented, brushing back the hairs that were stuck on your forehead. “Do you want to come now, hmm?” You nodded enthusiastically which greatly amused him. “Well, where are your toys?”
You blinked in surprise from his question. “C’mon, don’t tell me that a dirty girl like you don’t have one,” he said before coming closer to whisper deeply on your ear. “I know you like touching yourself. Show me what you use on yourself while you think of me.”
Guilt washed over you as your deeply personal dirty secret was exposed in the open. You accepted the fact that Dazai knows how much you want him from the way you ogle at him but it somehow still surprised you that he apparently was also aware of what you do once you’re all alone with the memory of how good he looked that day and the faint smell of his perfume still lingering on your nose. Your eyes dropped to the floor in shame as you gingerly crawled to your side table, opened up the drawer and procured a cordless wand massager.
“Wow,” Dazai teasingly whistled. “I was right about you. You’re just as naughty as I thought.” Your eyes refused to meet his as you handed it to him but he didn’t took it; instead he titled your face up to his own.
“You see that mirror over there? I want you to show me.” He demanded in a gruff voice. “Show me how you make yourself come.”
Your heart thumped inside your chest in mixed feelings of nervousness, embarrassment and excitement. You hang on to the hopes that if you do what he asks you, no matter how humiliating, you’ll finally be allowed to reach that high your body has been craving from the first moment that he touched you. You swallowed dryly and did exactly what you were told. Dazai followed closely and sat down on the floor with you in front of your body mirror.
“That’s it. Now, spread your legs,” he ordered, settling down behind you. Dazai’s hot breath tickled the insides of your ear and send shivers running down to your core. You obeyed, of course. “Spread your pussy for me too. Let me see deep inside you.” His voice was so goddamn sexy and with all the lewd words he’s saying, you’re just dripping down with desire. You didn’t even thought of this scene playing out even in your wildest wet dreams. Your trembling fingers reached down and exposed your flushed pink flesh.
“Mmm, that’s good. You’re so soaked,” he praised sweetly. “Now, use your toy.”
The smooth head of the massager rested on the top of your clit, the sheer contact already making your legs shake. With just one flick of your finger, the massager started up in slow and steady pulses. You squealed at the sudden sensation and Dazai’s arm slithered onto your breast, caressing it and rubbing your erected nipple.
“Look at me in the mirror,” his smoky voice buzzed in your ear and you met his eyes on the perverted reflection in front of you. “This is what you dream of, isn’t it? Every time you touch your pussy, you picture me with you just like this. Well, now I’m here. You don’t have to imagine anymore. You can look at me while you enjoy using that toy on yourself like you’ve always wanted.”
You sucked on your lower lip as the massager continued to vibe on, sending volts of pleasure on your nerves. Still high from Dazai’s earlier coaxing, you didn’t even have to adjust the speed of the vibrator to feel your orgasm climbing back up again. A long drawn out moan escaped your lips and your whole body shook against Dazai.
“Are you about to come already? Does getting watched by me while you masturbate really turn you on that much?” His teasing really didn’t help your cause as it just brought even more heat to your core. “Well, you can come now if you’d really like. But if you do, then you won’t get to have my cock inside you. I know you dream of my cock too, right?”
“Y-yes, please,” you replied and cringed at how your voice sounded more pathetic than you anticipated.
“So needy,” Dazai said, pinching on your nipple. “If you want it that bad then why don’t you beg me? Maybe I’ll do it if your begging pleases me.”
His tone was so smug and domineering that it would’ve pissed you off if it wasn’t for the tingling tension in your abdomen that was threatening to snap before you can satiate the hunger you have to feel him stretch you out and fill you up. The massager kept its steady vibration on your clit as your hands tremble on its handle.
“Dazai-san, please,” you fixed your gaze on his eyes at the reflection. Lust took over you as you once again caught a glimpse of your own reflection in such an obscene position, the wrongness of it all made you even needier. “Please give me your cock. Fuck me. Use me however you want. I don’t care what you do just please… let me come.”
Your voice was so desperate, your body quivering in whichever way and your overwhelming want for his cock distracting you on the fact that you can absolutely do whatever you want, but despite of your shaking limbs, you never dared to move the vibrator away from your clit, and it’s all just to please him. It was all too entertaining for Dazai’s sadistic side to hold back his own excitement as his strained erection twitched inside his pants.
Without a warning, Dazai pushed you forward causing the vibrator go flying on a corner; your hands reflexively caught your own weight as you get down on all fours and your nose grazed the mirror. With such close proximity, you can see just how ruined you look right now, looking almost foreign to your own self. You hear Dazai’s belt clinked as it dropped on the floor and the sound of him zipping down followed. Not even having a chance for your eyes to focus on the reflection to see what Dazai was doing when a sudden piercing pain enveloped your vagina.
Dazai cursed lowly as he pushed the last centimeter of his length inside you without a care of your loud hiss of discomfort. “Wow. You’re so swollen that your pussy just sucks me right in. How nice.”
He leaned forward and gives the small of your back light kisses before reaching up to yank a fistful of your hair. You gasped as your neck strained and the angle that Dazai was holding your head was forcing you to look at your own disheveled reflection. Without a hint of hesitation, Dazai just started slamming himself into you. His hips making a loud slapping sound as it crashes into yours and with each blow, your staggered exhales fog up the mirror.
“Look at yourself,” Dazai mumbled through gritted teeth. “Not so innocent now, are we? You act like such a proper lady at the office but it only took me a second to know just how horny you truly are. It wasn’t hard to notice how your eyes would slide down to my pants and how you would rub your legs afterwards. Don’t you think it’s bad to look at your co-worker like that and think such naughty thoughts? You probably just walk around the office soaking wet all the time, don’t you?” Dazai’s mocking chuckle tightened the built-up desire inside you as you witness through your lidded eyes how he continue to forcefully pound into you. “Is this what you wanted all this time? Am I making your dreams come true?”
“Yes,” you groaned out with the little strength you have left. “Oh God, yes. Don’t stop, Dazai-san. I want to come. Please.”
Dazai grunted and pulled you back down and maneuvered you to his lap as he settled on the floor once again. “Watch.” He ordered. “Watch how my cock will go in and out of your pussy and ingrain it on your mind. If you look away, I’ll stop, understand?”
As promised, Dazai sink his fingers on your hips and he began thrusting upwards. Your breasts bounced as he rocked you but your mind was only focused on watching the way his shaft would appear and disappear into you. Wet squelching sounds occupied the space around you along with your cries of pleasure and Dazai’s breathy moans hitting the delicate skin of your back. Your hand unconsciously reached up to your breasts to massage them as you completely drown in ecstasy, but the way your walls contracted erratically around Dazai didn’t go unnoticed.
“Mmm, my naughty girl’s ready to come now, huh?” his voice was sickeningly sweet given the way he carelessly tormented you for this long. “I’ll let you, but only on my count. Let’s come together, okay?”
One of his hands moved away from the bruising grip on your side and dipped on your folds to rub circles on your clit. Your lips shivered a quiet moan as a tidal wave of pleasure rushed from your head to your toes.
“Three.”
Dazai’s hips buckled up once more and send a mind-numbing sensation on your brain piled up atop of all of the others that came before it.
“Two.”
He grunted as your walls pulsated; your orgasm was starting to spill out of you and you clamped yourself around him in an attempt to hold it for a little bit longer.
“Ugh- hold it. Not yet.”
He continued to ram himself into you and you once again cried out: in pleasure, in frustration, in need. Despite your effort, your climax was unraveling and you just about lose your mind as you wait for Dazai’s final count.
“Here it comes- ah! One-”
Two deep thrusts and Dazai sheathed his cock inside you as he release hot streams of cum. The feeling of his fluids splashing on your walls was the last straw for you to be pushed off of the edge and your orgasm busted out of you like a backed-up waterfall. Everything you know was swallowed up in a void; you felt nothing but euphoria and bliss as you let yourself convulsed erratically without neither control nor guilt present on your mind. Liquid slowly flowed down to your aching thighs shortly after Dazai pulled out of you and you limply rested your back against his chest. Your slow descent to sanity left you breathless and without an ounce of strength left on any part of your body. You felt as if almost all of your life energy was sucked out of your body and you’re just one breath away from passing out completely.
“You’re amazing.” Dazai said as he gave your temple a tender kiss. “I don’t think you’ll ever need that toy ever again. I’ll be happy to give you the real thing whenever your imagination goes wandering.”
You weakly opened your eyes and see Dazai’s dark eyes glistened as he whispered, “Even at work.”
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yandere-daydreams · 5 years ago
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Is it possible to get some dazai x mute!reader? Is there a certain way he’ll treat them with they’re inability to speak?
I’d really like to think that Dazai is nice, occasionally, but… let’s be honest, the man can hardly handle caring about himself. I don’t think his Darling’s feelings would affect him very much.
TW: Abuse of a Disability, Emotional Abuse, Death of an Insect, and Implied Past Trauma.
~
A Swallowtail. It was a Swallowtail Butterfly.
You watched from the edge of Dazai’s bed as he turned the glass jar over in his hands, like a child with a new trinket he wasn’t quite sure how to use. The insect inside, bright yellows mixing with pastel blacks, struggled to find a place to land, the ground moving underneath the creature’s legs every time its wings fluttered. Its world was turning and it could feel every rotation, but if Dazai cared, he didn’t bother doing anything to lessen its distress.
You cringed as he placed the make-shift cage on his desk, slamming the jar down too roughly for you not to worry. “It got itself stuck in the agency’s offices, came in through an open window,” He explained, no hint of interest or exaggeration in his voice. He always seemed to drop those luxuries, around you. “Atsushi nearly broke an arm trying to catch the poor thing. We had to get it out of the room before he’d calm down, and even then, he couldn’t stop pacing for another hour. I think he’s getting too used to his ability, sometimes.”
Dazai didn’t know sign language, he refused to learn. You’d tried early on, but the pursuit was more trouble than it was worth, only leading to frustration on his side and pain on yours. Instead, you leaned a little further towards the container, focusing on it rather than Dazai. Luckily, he caught on quickly.
“Is it so bad to bring a little beauty into my lover’s life?” He sighed loudly, dramatically, holding a hand to his heart like your unspoken question was mortally wounding. “Your room is so dull, I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to spend all day here. I would try to bring home more toys, but…” There was a pause, a sharp glare, and you averted your eyes, fighting not to bow your head. “Someone tends to get a little bratty when they’re spoiled, don’t they?”
He was trying to get under your skin, shifting the topic until he found a way to guilt you for your ‘bad behavior’. Even before the escape attempts, the violence, the stubbornness, he’d never been the giving type, and you weren’t going to get down on your knees for the man who’d kidnapped you, regardless of how he dragged the day on. Rather than apologizing or going quiet, you reached behind you, searching through the objects and books Dazai hadn’t found interesting enough to keep from you. Your chosen resource was more similar to an Entomology textbook than anything, a brick of paper too long and too boring for anyone to read sincerely. But, it was easy enough to find the Swallowtail’s picture, posed in a much more natural habitat than your current example. You help the book up against your chest, facing Dazai, tapping the image insistently. The sound alone should’ve been too annoying for any sane man to ignore.
And yet, he laughed as he approached you, tossing the jar in your general direction. You let the book tumble to the ground in your effort to catch it, almost falling off the mattress, but the lanky arm soon wrapped around your waist helped stabilize you, allowing you to check on the butterfly rather than worry about your own safety. It was unharmed, thankfully, letting you relax as Dazai slotted himself against your side, his face soon buried in your shoulder. “Maybe I’ll start a collection. Wouldn’t that be nice? I’ll be a famous butterfly hunter and a detective on the side, only to meet my doom by the hands of a fatally poisonous bug during the prime of my career. This’ll be my first sample!”
He paused when he noticed you’d stopped listening, his tone dropping into something more serious. “But you wouldn’t like that, would you?”
Without thinking, you shook your head. The Swallowtail’s movements had slowed, wings opening and closing lethargically as it found a resting place near the lid, your panic only seeming to grow more intense with every passing second. Dazai noticed your concern, all but nuzzling against you as he went on. “Do you want me to let it go?”
Now, that got your attention. Hesitantly, you nodded, holding the jar a bit tighter.
“Of course! You’re so soft, (Y/n), I should’ve expected this.” You didn’t resist as he tugged you closer, pulling you onto his lap without a trace of effort. It hardly bothered you to be dragged around, by now, but you couldn’t help but go tense as hot breath fanned against your neck, the resulting shiver both unconscious and terribly noticeable. Dazai was kind enough not to say anything. “How about this, then? Just ask me to, and I will. No tricks, this time. All you have to do is say the word, and it’s gone.”
You couldn’t help but smile, beam, placing the jar on your thighs to wrap your arms around his neck, hugging Dazai for the first time in months. He didn’t reciprocate, but you didn’t care, already reaching your writing pad by the time he acknowledged your affection. But, he didn’t react as slowly to the sudden diversion, his free hand clamping down around your bicep, jerking you away from his chest, forcing you back into place. You thought you were in trouble, for a second, but Dazai’s grin rid you of that theory instantly. “No writing,” he said, tone bordering on patronizing. “I want you to talk to me. Say it.”
You blinked once, twice, shutting down when you realized what he wanted. You tried opening your mouth, but your teeth grit as soon as your lips were parted, your hands clasping together just to avoid doing something stupid. Shaking your head was useless, but you did it anyway, the sound of Dazai’s laugh hitting you like a bullet. It was all you could do to keep your breathing steady, to try to summon some kind of reverberation from your throat. But, just the thought made you curl into yourself, each inhale becoming labored and every exhale more ragged than the last. It wasn’t that you weren’t trying, you were, but you couldn’t.
You couldn’t, and Dazai knew that. He adored that.
“One word, love. It’s not that hard.” He was purring, now, fingertips drumming against the glass container. There was a light kiss to your temple, a smirk pressed against your scalp, but all you could do was stare forward, blank and paralyzed. “Is your new friend not worth--”
He was cut off as you threw your elbow into his chest, your body weight behind the blow. Dazai pulled back in shock, letting you go, and you took the opportunity as it presented itself. In one swift motion, you took hold of the jar and pushed yourself off the bed, not daring to look back as you darted to the other side of the small room. You had one window, and although it was bared and dozens of meters off the ground, that wouldn’t be a problem for a very small bug with very capable wings. You tore the lid off sloppily, letting it fall to the floor as you held the opening up, holding your breath as you waited for the Swallowtail to crawl out or take off or do something, but…
But, it didn’t.
Distantly, you could hear Dazai say something, but the words didn’t reach your ears. Everything felt so far away as you realized what’d happened.
The butterfly had suffocated. Minutes ago, judging by the way it lied lifelessly at the bottom of the jar. Still and unmoving, dead. Choked to death and silent in its suffering. 
It couldn’t fly away anymore.
685 notes · View notes
cognitivefunk · 5 years ago
Text
A Steamy Encounter
Based loosely on the steamy encounter event. Alright it’s been a rough 4 years since I’ve written any sort of fanfiction and it’s my first time writing in second person POV so be gentle~ I wanted to give Dazai a little love because I really like his character and can’t wait for his route!! 
Fandom: Ikemen Vampire Character: Osamu Dazai Rating: M to E, I didn’t get crazy explicit but it’s 18+ Warnings: Mild Choking, mild dark themes, sexual content, mention of blood Word Count: 6,067
 A deep sigh filled the cavernous room, echoing softly against the walls of the lavish thermae as you sank into the water. Your shoulders and lower back ached from doing laundry for a better half of the afternoon, and internally you reprimanded yourself for ever thinking doing laundry in modern day was a chore since throwing it into the washer and dryer was much easier than scrubbing out the sheets and linen by hand. But you couldn’t find it in you to complain since it did help pass the time and the fresh air outside in the spring sun was a much healthier alternative to the way that you usually spent your days indoors on your computer or on your phone when you weren’t working. While the sun had felt warm on your face at the time, the chill of the evening sank into your bones as you finished up your task for the day, bringing in the laundry before the frost set in for the night. Faintly, you could hear the sound of freezing rain pelting the roof as you close your eyes, focusing on the hot water melting the pain away from your tired muscles, oblivious to your surroundings.
This time of year could be beautiful as buds began to sprout and tiny signs of life from a long winter emerged. It was strange how the seasons matched up when you had walked through that door weeks ago. You may have travelled through time, but some things remained the same. However, maybe it was the lack of big city lights, but the end of winter here seemed harsher than back home. Lost in your reverie, a part of you felt bad for the buds which emerged to the deceitful warmth of spring only to die once night fell, encapsulating new life in a frosty glaze. But such is life, fleetingly beautiful and temporary. You shake your head to clear your thoughts, tilting your head back until the fine hairs at the nape of your neck barely grazed the water, mindful not to let your messy bun touch the water. The fatigue must be getting to you. Living in a mansion full of vampires had you thinking of your own mortality lately, and it was starting to get to you.
Unbeknownst to you, watchful golden eyes examined you from across the bath. He had been sitting still as a statue since he saw you enter the bath, wondering if you had noticed him in the slightest, but realizing that you were off in your own little world. A soft exhale left him as you climbed into the water, relishing in its warmth, your expression was tired and he wondered if Sebastian had worked you too hard today. ‘So tired, poor little bird…’ He was content watching you from afar until that lonely expression crossed your face as you began your mild existential crisis and his body began to move on its own accord.
…Slosh…
               The sound of water startled you from your inner monologue and you clutched your chest out of reflex, eyes scanning the bath, searching for the source of the noise. You could have sworn that this was your bathing block; did you read the schedule wrong?  It hadn’t even occurred to you that somebody else could be using the bath across the steam on the other side; you hadn’t thought to check before sliding in. Internally, you scolded yourself for your carelessness. “Hello?” the greeting lingered in the air, heat creeping up your neck and flushing across your face. ‘Hello? Really, that’s what you think to say in this situation??’ you cringed slightly, wishing you had thought of something a bit more coherent then an informal greeting to the man who was coming closer now.
You hear a faint chuckle before a lilted voice spoke. “Ah, Toshiko-san~ You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to interrupt you!” the lively voice carried well in the thermae. How long had he been sitting there without making any noise? “D-Dazai?” your voice cracked in embarrassment, but part of you was thankful that it was him, as you found him less threatening than some of the others, such as a certain foul-mouthed Dutchman who would likely make you want to change your identity and flee the country if he found you in here. The sound of water rippling and splashing filled the bath again as he crept closer to you, his form becoming clear as he emerged from the steam. A breath hitched in your throat at the prospect of him coming closer, but you didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they already felt by moving.
“I was wondering who had come to join me~ But isn’t your bathing block earlier in the evening? Did you not realize the time Yumiko-san? It’s already so dark…” he questioned playfully, golden eyes shining with a hint of amusement. You sank down again, both arms holding your breasts from his wandering gaze. “Sachiko-san,” he was disarming you, calling you every name under the sun except for yours, “no need to feel self-conscious! I can hardly see anything through all this steam!” He was lying through his teeth, maybe that was true when he was across the water but now that he’s so close it couldn’t possibly be true. But his words sounded so soft and assured with that breezy smile of his, so you chose to believe him anyway. At least that’s what you told yourself. Golden eyes trailed away pointedly as he stretched languidly and situated himself against the wall again, so close that you could reach out and touch him if the fancy struck. But you buried that thought and awkwardly uncrossed your arms, the misty water cupping around your chest, hiding your secrets.
When you lifted your gaze to look in his direction, you could see he had closed his eyes, a serene expression painted on his handsome face. He had been lost in his own reverie when you wandered into the bath, completely unguarded and candid as you were. He found you interesting, someone who wore their heart on their sleeve, with an emotional purity that both enraptured him and made him want to dissect to see what emotion he could provoke. It was for this reason that he felt incredible guilt when he thought about you. He wished that he could have watched you for longer from across the bath, at a distance, but he could not bring himself to sit idly by when you looked like the world was troubling you. What kind of man would he be to leave a girl alone with lonely thoughts to keep her company?
“I’m sorry, the time must’ve slipped from me, I was so focused on laundry that I didn’t think to check the time before I came over..” you reasoned, getting ready to exit the bath until you realized you hadn’t brought the towel over to the edge since you weren’t planning on company. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and you stalled, speaking your thoughts aloud “I should really get going.” You hoped he would offer to leave instead, so you would have time to grab your towel before anyone else came in.
Ever observant as he was, Dazai watched you through a cracked eye from a sidelong glance, enjoying the moment you tried to slink off to the edge only to freeze as panic spread across your features. His laughter filled the air, turning your attention back to him. “No need to feel self-conscious. Back in Japan we bath in mixed baths all the time, right?” He paused, turning to look at you once again, eyes focused on yours with an emotion you could not read. “You know, speaking with you like this reminds me of home…” there was a hint of sadness in his words, a glint of sorrow slowly drowning, replaced by another playful face so quickly you thought you had imagined it. “Besides, if someone else walks in I can hide you behind my back~” he mused, eyes deliberately trailing to the door of the thermae before locking back on your face. The dusty pink color deepened on your cheeks at the thought of anyone else walking in on you like this. You already felt very vulnerable, but at the same time somewhat thankful for Dazai’s offer. Your gaze fell upon his broad shoulders at his suggestion and your throat felt dry suddenly, at the prospect of hiding behind him. You’d never noticed how muscular he was before under that Taisho-style kimono he always wore. The way the water beaded down his chest, dripping off of his hair as his smile deepened and the corner of his eyes crinkled in amusement. You tried to clear your parched throat and reasoned that it was due to the heat of the bath. You must be getting dehydrated.
“It’s cold tonight, isn’t it…” his voice reverberated in a lower register this time, his eyelashes lowering into an alluring glance, which, despite the heat made you shiver. Or maybe it was wishful thinking; you could never quite understand what was going through that man’s head. You cast your eyes down as a reflex, suddenly feeling very small. As an unintended consequence, you came face to face with his abdomen, momentarily becoming entranced by the way the water clung to his toned abs before realizing he had shifted closer soundlessly. How was he able to move through water without you noticing, or was it that your heart rushing through your ears was blocking out the sound of the water around you. The water was misty enough to mask his more private area and your eyes frantically scanned the water looking for somewhere else to focus your gaze on. Your flustered stare did not go unnoticed, stirring a darker emotion within the man. His fingers twitched at his side, you were so close, and your scent was starting to intoxicate him. For a fleeting moment, his eyes glazed over as he pictured capturing your lips beneath his as he slowly drug the both of you under the water, gasping painfully as the water filled both of your lungs—No. He chased away the haunting thoughts that threatened to consume him, a hollow feeling spreading across his chest. He wanted to drown in you yes, maybe fall a little, drenched in desire… but not drag you down into the abyss. Not you. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, lost momentarily in the darkness that consumed his soul.
“Yeah, it is,” you responded, completely oblivious to the war raging on inside the man beside you, and you began rubbing at your left shoulder as another nervous habit, working at a knot that was relaxing from the heat. Your voice ripped him from his mental prison, and his gaze locked onto the hand on your shoulder, and suddenly you were being turned away from the man beside you, your eyebrows knitting together in a confused expression. “Dazai?”
That’s right he wanted to play with you, to paint your face a pretty red and make you tremble in his grasp, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He wasn’t sure if he could handle you running from him. If you were to look at him with fear in your eyes it would not only crush him but would affirm the spiteful, seething voice in his head that reminded him of his own worthlessness. But you, you were such a pretty thing; he couldn’t pluck your wings and taint you with his darker impulses. Not now.
“Shh, relax Sochiko-san! You worked so hard today, you’re such an honest girl aren’t you?” his words had a playful innuendo that you couldn’t miss and you made a squeaking noise when you felt his firm touch on your shoulders, slowly kneading away your fatigue. You were about to push him away but his touch felt fantastic after the long day you had endured. “There, there. Now, isn’t that better? Just like that, relax into me. Let me help,” As he spoke, he pressed into a particularly sore spot and a soft moan escaped your lips. You felt him pause behind you and could have sworn you heard him take in a sharp, soft breath before continuing. “Such an honest girl…” His words felt like electricity in your lower abdomen, lighting you up from inside. Your face was burning as stifled the sounds coming from your traitorous mouth as he worked his magic on your shoulders.
A shudder went through his spine as he listened to your gentle voice, echoing off the walls, the only other sound being the soft ripple of the water and your breathing. He let out a sigh, his jaw tightening as you let your guard down around him. He trailed his fingers up your neck, kneading at the base of your skull, relishing at your closeness. It made his heart ache. He didn’t deserve such sweetness, but he craved it, pined for it. Why were you letting him touch you like this? Did you not realize that he was a man with selfish desires? “You know…rainy nights are my favorite,” he changed the topic, hearing the freezing rain outside blow against the windows of the thermae. For a moment you thought you heard the soft rumble of distant thunder and sighed, contentedly.
“Yeah? I like it when it storms. The sound of thunder makes me happy,” you admitted, too embarrassed to explain that strong storms gave you a sense of arousal akin to fulgarophilia, especially lightning storms. It gave you a sense of adrenaline that you couldn’t quite explain, but you were also fond of dark rainy nights. They made you feel safe.  And right now, you felt safe with Dazai, even if a part of your brain told you that this was a risky situation. You fought the urge to lean into him, when you felt him maneuvering you to face him again.
“Y/n…” again, his voice took on a low, almost sultry tone as he leaned toward you, easily towering over you. It almost felt like whiplash when you realized he said your actual name and not the nicknames he throws around on a whim. Suddenly, you became a lot more aware of the intimacy of your situation.  He lifted your chin with such gentleness it was as though he thought he would break you if he didn’t handle you with utmost care. The heat in his gaze made you feel dizzy, and you closed your eyes instinctively, anticipating his touch when you felt him shift toward you. But instead of feeling lips graze against your parted mouth, you felt his teeth ghost over your ear, his hot breath feeding the flame in your belly. “Dazai?” you whispered, afraid your voice wouldn’t work.
When had your hands betrayed you by resting on his taut, muscular chest? Your fingers curled against his skin and it hadn’t registered that the only thing keeping your bare breasts from being flush against his chest was your hands resting there. His breath was hot on your ear as he murmured, “Do you not see me as a man, y/n-chan?” His question felt heavy in the air, the tension was almost suffocating. “Or can I take it that you want me?” You shivered, taking a gulp at what saliva remained in your mouth and you gasped as you felt his tongue dart out, tracing your earlobe with a wet trail that almost sent you over the edge right then and there. You closed your eyes, daring your voice to speak, “What if s—“
And just like that you were interrupted, and your thoughts were scattered again when you felt his hands wrap around your shoulders, slowly shifting you behind him, all the while murmuring against your ear, “Someone’s coming, Kimiko-san~” You wanted to scream for two reasons. One, being that you were almost caught with Dazai in the bath, which carried several implications but also that you were interrupted from one of those implications becoming reality. You couldn’t deny that you had a crush on the eccentric man, who up until moments ago was massaging you in such an intimate way; you almost thought you would wake up any moment now. But the spell was broken, and the change of name hit you right in the gut with a sinking sensation. A quiet chuckle filled the air, as he studied your reaction, hiding you behind his large frame.
The sounds of footsteps were approaching from down the hallway when Dazai leaned closer, silently cursing the situation and for letting his guard down. He wished he could have heard you sing a little more before letting his little bird go for the night. His lustful desires almost put you in a compromising situation and he chastised himself for nearly losing control. His fangs ached from teasing the shell of your ear before informing you of the incoming guests. Standing from the water, he took his towel and wrapped it around your waist, giving you some cover and warmth as he backed out of the water carefully, making sure you were flush behind him, pressed firmly against his back. “Ayaka-san,” he chimed, seemingly back to the silly nicknames as though nothing had happened, “Do exactly as I say, unless you want Vincent and Theo-kun to see you~”
It was hard to breathe, feeling your soul temporarily exiting your body as you moved, pressed against Dazai’s completely naked form. He had given you his towel for a shred of decency as he maneuvered the two of you toward a back wall of the thermae. You could hear the voices of the two brothers approaching as they laughed among one another, clearly enjoying each other’s company. He snagged his kimono which was draped over a pillar nearby an unlatched window and wrapped it over your shoulders before opening the window to the outside. “It’s cold outside Yumiko-san,” he chided, hoisting you up onto his back as he crouched to carefully crawl out the window with you in tow. “What are you doing!?” you exclaimed, clasping a hand over your mouth when the approaching laughter paused. You had to keep your voice down or they would find you in an even more ridiculous position than just being found naked in the bath.
Dazai made a shushing noise with his finger pressed against his lips and continued to crawl out the window, letting it latch as it shut behind the two of you, locking you both outside. At night. In the freezing rain, half naked. You nuzzled closer into Dazai’s back, relishing in his warmth as he guided you expertly to his room, in all his naked glory, without running into a single person. Part of you was astonished at the audacity of the situation, while the other part was thoroughly impressed. It would seem this wasn’t his first stint, and another blush formed at the thought that this was probably the first time he’d roamed the mansion naked. Wait, he was still naked! Your eyes worriedly looked up at him as he set you down gingerly on his futon, and you were once again reminded of the intimate nature of your position. He stared down at your face, ‘so completely unguarded’ and a soft smile broke out on his face as he brought his hand down to pet your hair affectionately. “Safe and sound Sochiko-san!” he beamed at you and it was all too much.
Laughter bubbled up in your throat, startling him for a moment before he broke out into a soft laughter of his own. He loved the sound of your laughter, but the sound almost too bright for him to handle in this state. Never in a million years would you have pictured anything close to this happening in your life. You wiped a tear from your eye before touching Dazai’s arm to see if he was as freezing as you thought he must be, running around with you on his back in the freezing rain. “You better not catch a cold!” you scolded him, a few bouts of laughter still escaping your exasperated form. You worried about his health, unsure if a vampire could even catch a cold, but just the thought made you feel guilty since you would have played a part in it.
“Then why don’t you keep me warm?” there was a huskiness to his voice again as he crawled over you, forcing you to lean back to look up at him. You licked your lips, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly thirsty and you weren’t sure it was for water. His gaze was so intense you thought it would set you ablaze right then and there, struggling to think of a response you floundered for a moment before his mask slipped back into place and he poked your nose with his finger, teasing you. “Just kidding~” he lilted, leaving you feeling flustered and embarrassed. You opened and closed your mouth several times, completely at a loss of how to respond to the whirlwind of emotions Dazai was putting you through tonight. You frowned, this wasn’t good for your heart, but you didn’t want to come out and say that you’d like to spend the night in his bed if he didn’t feel the same. Was he just messing with you?
That look of frustration tempted him. He wanted to devour you head to toe, watch you squirm beneath him and cry out his name. Just the thought of you showing him your wild side was working him up and he was a mess of contradictions, with an incredible feeling of shame for capitalizing on the situation. He kept trying to convince himself that he didn’t deserve this moment, that you were too untainted for him to drag down to his depths. If you let him hold you like this, he would never let you go. Another sound of frustration escaped your lips as you try to find the words that seem to be at the tip of your tongue, wanting to hide your face until you could compose yourself enough to speak like a normal person. Although normal in this situation wasn’t exactly warranted.
A smirk tugged at his lips as he tilted his head, studying your face, “Oh? Toshiko-san, your face is becoming redder than an apple, careful or I might have to eat you up,” his playful voice was strained with lust as he leaned in toward you, his cool skin brushing the nape of your neck as his lips ghosted over the sensitive skin. Another soft moan escaped your throat and you wriggled beneath him, freezing when you felt something hard pressed against your inner thigh. “My, my…” he breathed against your neck, inhaling your scent as he murmured against you, “What a naughty girl, working me up like this. Bad, bad girl.”
His gentle reprimand made the heat pool in your nethers, and you shivered in response. You gathered your courage to speak, trying to sound sultry through the nervous rasp of your voice, “Why don’t you stop joking around and let me keep you warm then?” There it was, that dark shadow of lust that clouded over his eyes again, mixing with an unimaginable sadness that tugged at your heartstrings, nearly drowning you in his bewitching gaze. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything; you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries with him after all. You opened your mouth to apologize when his lips came crashing down on yours. “Mmph!”
A pallid thumb brushed against your lower lip and pulled down, giving entrance for his greedy tongue, twisting and dancing alongside yours as you moan into his mouth. Your heart felt like it was going to leap right from your chest, the way it was beating, the blood rushing from your head to places further south. “Dazai!!” you gasped, arching subconsciously into his groin as he peppered your jaw with gentle nips and kisses, earning a low groan from the eccentric man above you. “Y/n…” he slipped down your body, pulling at the towel he had carefully wrapped around you, admiring you sprawled out on his futon with his kimono forgotten underneath you, your body exposed as he tossed the damp towel to the floor. He gently took one of your legs in his hands, delicately running his hands down to your ankle before lifting it to his mouth, his golden eyes almost glowing in the dimly lit room, daring you to look away as he sensually licked your ankle starting with the top of your foot to the soft fleshy divot where the joints bend.
You stared, wide eyed, and started to close your legs, feeling exposed under his raw, hungry gaze, but he used his free hand to push your knee open again, nestling himself on his own knees between yours as he worked his way up to your thigh, running his tongue along your inner leg, causing you to shiver and reach out, grabbing a handful of his hair and tugging slightly. His eyes nearly rolled at the sensation, a shudder rolling over his body as he looked up from his spot between your legs. He nuzzled his face against the soft flesh on the inside of your thigh, sighing almost erotically.
“Y/n…silly girl. Don’t you know you should run? I told you before, all men are wolves my dear…and I am no different,” the words spilled from his lips but he made no move to stop. His eyes bore into yours, looking for any sign of doubt before sinking his fangs into you. “Aaahn!!” your voice rang out, loudly, into the night. The freezing rain picking up outside the window, thunder in the distance drowning out your sweet cries from the other residents. Dazai nearly trembled from excitement, moaning into your thigh as your sweet nectar of life spilled onto his tongue, lapping every drop up greedily. The pain was a ghost of a memory, replaced with a pervasive heat that consumed every fiber of your being with an electric pleasure. If you thought you couldn’t form words before, they were lost to you now. The only sounds escaping you were wanton moans, stirring on the man between your legs.
“If you keep on like that I won’t be able to hold back…” his eyes looked pained and you felt a pang of guilt for not noticing it earlier. “Don’t you know how badly I want you?” He puffed air against your wet heat, his gaze following to your glistening folds, already wet for him. He groaned and the lust returned to his stare, but he was holding himself back.
“Dazai—“ you gasped, reaching down to touch one of his hands as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “What if…what if I don’t want you to hold back?” your face was on fire, you could feel your pulse in your temples as you panted softly. “I want this too…I trust you,” your tender expression nearly broke his heart. ‘You don’t know what I would do to you, how could you trust a man who would break you?’ he lamented to himself, beginning to get lost in his own sorrow when you shifted forward, shifting your weight to gently push him back onto the futon, where you could straddle him. “Do you trust me?” you breathed, wanting to reach through and pull that sorrow from him, if only for a little while.
His eyes softened, reaching up to cup your cheek with his large hands. They felt warmer than before. “You’re honest to a fault, Y/n. It makes me want to swallow you whole…” as though your light could shine from inside him. Leaning down, you placed a tentative kiss on his chest, nipping at his collarbone, hearing him gasp beneath you. There was a dangerous glint in his expression as you turned your attention to him. You wanted him to feel you, to feel your heart. “I’m willing to let you,” you trailed down his abdomen, placing lovingly tender kisses until you were kneeling off the futon in front of him. He lifted his head to look down at you, confused by your motive until he felt your warm mouth around him and watched his painfully hard member disappear behind your lips. “Y/N!” his startled exclamation ended in a throaty moan as his head fell back and he became overwhelmed by the sensations you were delivering to him. Had he died a second time? If so, maybe death wasn’t so boring after all.
You hollowed your cheeks, applying the right amount of pressure as you sucked his length, your own juices beginning to drip as you got excited from getting him off. You were thankful for the blanket of rain outside, pelting the window to hide some of the lewd noises that came from your actions. Hands wound their way through your hair, pulling you down onto him, his previous reservations snapped away the moment your wet heat enveloped him. He couldn’t resist you anymore. He didn’t care if you both fell at that moment. He couldn’t get close enough, the pleasure overtaking his senses. You felt the tug at your hair as he pulled you back with a pop as he left your mouth empty and wanting. You shivered from the sudden roughness and he smirked, guiding you down onto the futon again.
“Naughty girl~ Do you want me to lose control?” he breathed, climbing between your legs again, hoisting you up by hooking his arms beneath your knees. “I warned you I would devour you…” he moaned as he flattened his tongue against your dripping heat, making you fall against the bed, arms suddenly too weak to hold your weight anymore. You could tell you had broken the dam on his self-control, the way his tongue skillfully entered you, working his way up to your clit, grazing his fangs against your lowers lips. Your head was swimming, the erotic noises he was making made your sex tighten, begging for more. “Please—“ you begged, but you weren’t entirely sure for what. All you knew was that you wanted more.
“Please?” he echoed, working his middle and index finger into you, pumping and curling them until you saw white, bucking against his hand, not caring what you looked like anymore. “Dazai please!! I need you, please!” Tears were beginning to prick at your eyes and he sat back, sighing with smile spreading across his handsome features. “Beautiful..” he whispered, climbing over your heated body. His lips found your ear again as he nibbled playfully, brushing the tip of his manhood against your clit, slowly. The tears threatened to fall as they blurred your vision, your hips twitched toward him, and you felt empty without him in you. “Dazai—“ you gasped again, feeling frustrated and earning a lighthearted chuckle from the man above you.
“What do you want me to do? I want you to tell me,” his breath was hot against your cheek, his fangs pricking your earlobe and shooting another wave of pleasure as he soothed the love bite with his tongue. You screwed your eyes shut, panting loudly and attempted to reach down to guide him into you when your hands were restrained in his and held above your head with surprising strength. “Ah, ah~” he tsked, applying pressure to your wrist under his grasp. “Look at me,” he commanded. The weight of his words caused your eyes to open again, your eyes wet and face flushed. He teased himself against your sensitive spot again, meaningfully, “Tell me what you want me to do.”
You bit your lower lip, chewing on it while you tried to think of the right way to phrase it so that you could both get what you wanted. “I..I—“ you started, his mouth was trailing along your jaw again, letting his fangs drag across your soft skin without piercing the flesh, encouraging you to say the words he was waiting to hear. “Yes?” he egged you on, slowly rotating his hips to give you a preview of what you were in for.
“Please—I want to feel you inside of me, Dazai..” your submissive admission was all it took and in seconds he buried himself into you, hissing at your tight heat as your head fell back and you arched into him, hard. It stung, but he stayed still, allowing you to adjust before he began to rock with shallow thrusts, panting words of encouragement. “Y/n, you’re so tight,” he murmured against your neck, his tongue and teeth marking a hickey into your skin. You’d have to wear a scarf over the next couple days or a shirt with a high collar to hide his mark from the others. But a part of him wanted them to see it. He was moving slowly, rolling into you with sweet and deliberate motions. You couldn’t help but buck against him, craving a faster pace.
He let go of your wrists, letting you wrap your arms around his neck, digging your nails into his shoulders. For good measure, you wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him in closer. He moaned low, shifting to take a perky nipple into his mouth while his fingers played with the other, making a mess of you. “Y/n, you’re such a naughty girl… pulling me close like that, is this not enough?” he chuckled against your breast, delighting in the frustrated groan that came as a response.  “Please, h-harder,” you pleaded. His mind went blank, hearing you plead to him in such a vulnerable way, it snapped his hips forward and his pace quickened, angling you so he could pound you into the futon, hand leaving your nipple to dance circles around your clit.
You all but screamed at the sudden change of pace, as a thin trail of drool escaped your lips and trailed down the side of your mouth. Fingers brushed against the sticky liquid and pushed into your mouth, which you gladly took inside, swirling your tongue and sucking, sending shudders down the man’s spine as his thrusts started to become more erratic. His eyes were positively glowing in the dark room and his hand left your mouth to rest on your throat, applying a light pressure, but enough to send a pleasurable shock through your body. He guided your hands to his own throat, showing you the kind of pressure he wanted you to apply. “Just a little, yeah?” he whispered, groaning when you pressed into his throat tentatively, reaching back down to give you a reward, applying increasing pressure to your clit, watching you struggle to keep your arms up as he pleasured you. His eyes rolled in his skull and you could feel his adam’s apple bob when he swallowed before he grabbed your wrists and thrust them above your head again, burying his fangs into your neck.
Your cry mixed with a hoarse moan as he drank from you, the pleasure sending you over the edge and you quivered as your orgasm ripped through your body, tightly convulsing around him as he reached his own climax, spilling his hot seed into you. It was overwhelming feeling him drink from you as he emptied his cum into your willing body. When he was finished he kissed the wound that was already starting to close, and moved to kiss your nose, still nestled inside of you. Your body was overstimulated and you moaned softly at the movement, earning another chuckle. “Hey..was I too rough with you?” he questioned sheepishly, still basking in the afterglow of your shared orgasm.
You didn’t think he could look anymore handsome than he already did, but the way the sweat clung to his hair and the loving gaze he was giving you right now made your heart melt. “It’s ok, I liked it,” you admitted, knowing that you would be sore tomorrow, but it was well worth it. A mischievous glint shown in his eyes this time, “You know I won’t be able to let you go, right?” he cooed, tracing his fingers along your neck again, paying special attention to the hickies he left behind. “I won’t be able to hold back now that I’ve had a taste of you…you better prepare yourself.”
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luna-paradoxz · 7 years ago
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Tsuki ga Kirei: Anime review
Finally done with this series. It took me 5 hours to binge watch all 12 episodes. And now here I am to write my thoughts on it since the series was really good.
In the recent seasons, we hardly see good shoujo with pure love nowadays that’s why it was a surprise to see two of them this season. Though I was gonna watch the other only and had put this one off for ages.
Fukumenkei noise the other shoujo was the one I really wanted to watch since they had announced its anime. I have been reading its manga since the starting and I absolutely love it, it's one of my fave shoujo of all time. 
That's why I was biased towards Tsuki Ga Kirei and just seeing PV I had assumed quite narrow-mindedly that it was a typical shoujo of middle schoolers hooking up. So I put it off for very long but yesterday I had completed all my watching list and felt like watching something fluffy and sweet and then this came to my mind. Still, I had checked its reviews and ratings on Reddit and then albeit reluctantly watched the first episode.
And that killed all my doubts and thoughts I had, even now I feel ashamed to have made assumptions without even giving it a chance. The first episode was sweet, slow and so painfully similar to my middle school days that I was reminded of exactly how I was, how all of us are as middle schoolers - Still kids but trying to be adults. 
During the whole series, I was feeling nostalgic and cringing a little since even I had experienced all those embarrassing moments. The story is nowhere same as mine in major plot out but the small parts were very similar. especially their relationship minus the cliche plots and the happy end. Leaving my personal story aside, the whole story was portrayed beautifully and realistic ( well as realistic they could, after all, they have to give that happy end). Their struggles with the school were quite on point and Koutarou's struggle with his passion and future and the family which came from good intentions was something I related really well. 
His mother though loved her son was strict on him since she knew how hard it is to live in a real world with a fantastical dream.  His dad who once shared his dreams wanted him to not feel cornered and always said him to do what he likes. The parent's portrayal was real, one who always supports you, one who is strict on you and their love for us and understanding only they have. Akane's parents were also in a way really cute with her mom supporting and encouraging her daughters, while her dad though quite loudly supportive he still tried to be intimidating and very protective. ( Which was really cute.) her sister is the perfect older sibling, best support and the worst enemy to have. Always ratting her out to parents and making her embarrassed while also giving her good life lessons and the words she needs to hear, and someone she can say things without worrying about appearances.  (though they are still annoying.)  
Next, their whole school drama was something you see everywhere quite often. Even in my school we had all the clinches, having a group which pretends to be BFF but you know you won't stay long with them, dealing with your best friends and guys, and obviously the other third wheels.  I had mixed feelings about Akane still being with Chinatsu even after all that happened. I don't hate her but there were things she shouldn't have done. But they are middle schoolers and we all make mistakes and she made up to them but I really wished Akane would at least set boundaries Like Koutaru did because those are necessary. The whole BFF group were a little annoying at times but I think their portrayal was quite real and kind of needed. I liked how they didn't show over the top drama like spreading rumours and back bitching ( except once, where it was expected.) because that would have ruined the show and destroy all realistic image it had been building up. And last I liked how it let them deal with their problems on there own while slightly involving the other but not too much because that would be overbearing and showing them slightly apart also built them individually which I had actually loved to see more than their love story. Because nowadays you hardly see individual character growth which is quite beautiful in its own way. 
There is more I want to write but I'll leave it at this now because or else it will become a short story. The final Impressions are - the story development was good, well paced and kept up with its original idea while not destroying anything they had set up from starting. The characters were put on point and something I could easily relate to. ( Koutarou is my favourite for now.) The end was really fitting and perfect. Them leaving with sad feelings but making it work out in their own ways and then the awesome happy end which we had all expected but seeing their conversations during ages grow was a nice cherry on top to the ending and character development. Final best moments, which are - koutarou getting angry, Akane and Koutarou dealing with their future while handling their relationship, the bittersweet partying and the last family photo. ( Gosh red thread tied to their pinkies had so many meanings perfectly said in one picture that it was stunningly perfect.) 
Now the bad points for me - Akane and Koutarou just didn't have that many conversations I mean as they got close I wanted them to be more open and understanding towards each other but they still kept them as introverted shy kids which are cute but almost a year has passed they need to get over a little shyness, not totally that would ruin them but a little more open would be good. Then the side relationships and characters which were not given a good closure. Come on you tease us with them and then you don't give us where they are or what they are doing is just so wrong to them. And the whole getting into the relationship was a little too fast in my opinion. LIke he confessed in 3rd while I would have liked it to be in 4th after school trip or between. It made it look they were just infatuated teens so that was a whole turn off for me. 
Last but not least, The Dazai Osamasu quotes which are not bad things at all but I have a serious question, how come he made the right quotes for every situation Koutarou was, like how? Man, I heard he was awesome but I am starting to actually think he understands a Teens heart way too well to write all the right quotes for the right times.
Judgement - 8/10. Definite recommendation.
With this, my review ends. I know it really long and I honestly don't expect any remarks on it. But a shout out to this show. To anyone, who read this and didn't watch the show please watch it even after you have read all the spoilers. Because it maybe not be the best shoujo but It's perfect in its own way and I totally recommend it. So go watch it and enjoy seeing the beautiful middle school love.
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angelicxdisaster · 22 days ago
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the graveyard
sorry I've been mia. lol school and life have been kicking my ass, but I have more sad bsd drabbles. Here is the next chapter I plan on posting after I edit it a little more. this chapter does get into Kanako's chronic pain and her flare-ups a little more. I think I did an okay job at portraying it, but I would love feedback on it to ensure I did it right:))))
Kanako raced out of the office with no particular destination in mind. Her eyes had been too clouded with tears to see where she was going, but without trying, she ended up in the exact place she didn’t want to be. 
The Catholic Yamate Church Cemetary. 
She cursed her feet for bringing her to this place. To force her already aching body to endure more than she could handle. But even that thought brought her irritation from before to the forefront of her mind. This was a different kind of anger, though. It wasn’t a prickle in the back of her skull that itched whenever someone spoke. It wasn’t calmed with a few deep breaths and the tightening of her grip on her cane. This was red hot. It felt like magma that flowed down her body and melted her skin into a puddle of bubbling flesh. The words she made a promise never to let seep into her mind again surrounded her in a haze of fire and tears. 
This is more than you can handle? A simple rock with a name carved on it makes you want to fall to your knees in despair? You’ve grown weak in your new life; you’ve become utterly pathetic. 
The tears that blurred her vision cascaded down her face as she stared at the tombstone. Her knees wobbled and almost buckled under her until she heard a familiar voice in her ear. 
You know that’s not true; you could never be weak. 
She whipped her head around to look at the owner of the voice–the voice she longed to hear every morning, but saw no one, just as she expected. She knew she would never hear his voice in her ear again. His constant whispers and commentary. His confessions, his secrets, his jokes, his laugh. 
All she could hear of him now was the few voicemails she had and the secret videos her brother had taken when they were younger. Without those, she feared she would soon forget what he sounded like, so she replayed them whenever she could to keep his voice in her mind, to memorize each vowel, consonant, each breath he took between sentences. 
She stared at the stone in front of her. Each letter seemed to taunt her. 
S. Oda
October 26, 1991 - January 10, 2014
She stood like that for what could have been hours, maybe days, before opening her eyes and heaving a deep sigh. 
“I know you’re there, Osamu.”
 Dazai stepped out from behind a tall tree and leaned on it, smiling to himself. 
“How’d you know? I thought I was pretty sneaky,” He asked.
“You’re always there,” she tried to sound annoyed, but she couldn’t deny that it comforted her to have him there at that moment.
Dazai pushed himself off of the tree and moved next to his sister at the grave. They stood in comfortable silence, appreciating the other's presence in the somber atmosphere. In the end, it was Dazai who broke the veil of quiet between them.
“So,” he began, gauging her reaction to him speaking up, “what happened back there?”
Kanako didn’t respond immediately, still trying to wrap her mind around why she had reacted the way she had. 
“I’m…not sure. I haven’t spoken about him in ages. I guess I thought I had finally moved on,” she responded without looking at her brother, keeping her gaze on her beloved’s tombstone. 
“Is that why I haven’t seen you here lately?”
“I suppose so.”
Dazai waited for her to say more, but when she didn’t, he attempted to look over at her. Her face was stone cold. It was the expression of someone who was all too familiar with the pain of losing those she loved but never facing it, always leaving it to rot from within. She was tired. He could see it in her eyes, the kind of tiredness neither sleep nor coffee could fix. Nothing could; he knew that. He felt it, too. 
“Kanako,” he said, in a tone much heavier than before, “burying your grief won’t make it go away.”
“Like you know anything about dealing with grief,” she scoffed. “You’re too focused on how you’re going to off yourself.”
“While that is true,” he snickered, “I do know one or two things about mourning,”
“Yeah, like what?” Animosity dripped from her lips like venom. 
“That you actually have to face it. You can’t make it disappear by pretending it’s not there.”
“Then how do I make it disappear?” The sentence left her mouth faster than she could stop it. She squeezed her eyes shut, a foolish attempt to prevent more shame from rolling down her face—a painful whisper, a cry for help. 
“You can’t.” Her brother's voice cut through the darkness, grounding her in reality. 
“What help you are–” She finally turned to look at him, but he was gone. Any other time–any other person–she would have cursed him and planned some small act of revenge. But right then, she didn’t care. Because when she turned her head back to the stone, the name engraved on it in front of her stayed the same. He was still dead, and she was still alone. No matter how much Kanako did or didn’t grieve, nothing would change the fact that Oda Sakunosuke was dead, and he had been dead for four long years.  
It took an embarrassing amount of time before she got the courage to walk away from the grave. 
She didn’t really know when she left the cemetery or when she arrived home. It was as if she blacked out for an hour, and suddenly, she was at her kitchen table. She sat rigidly in her chair, scared to move and make the thumping in her legs worse. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. 
In and out. 
In and out. 
In and out. 
Over and over again. 
Kanako’s hands squeezed the handle of her cane like a lifeline, causing a cramp in her fingers, thinking maybe this pain would distract her from the other pain. Minutes passed, and the quiet tick tick tick of the clock on the wall seemed more like a second thump thump thump in her head to match the pounding of her muscles—like it was taunting her.
Even more irritation and anger bubbled up inside her. 
Angry at herself for pushing her body so much. 
Angry that walking had pushed her body to this limit. 
Angry at her body.
Angry at her cane. 
Angry at the fucking clock and it’s insistent tick tick tick. 
Her frustration made her almost forget the numbing pain in her legs as she slammed her cane hard on the floor with a grunt and quickly stood up to go to her bedroom. As soon as she stood, she let out a loud cry of pain as her legs gave out, and her vision faded to nothing. Her cane fell next to her as she lay there unconscious.
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