#writing a post and directing it to all butches and ending it with an i love you and all those odd rp posts

[persephoneflouwers]

🌺 my favourite girl direction fics under the cut! 🌺

There is nothing else in this world that I love more than women. I grew up in a family built around the strongest women I’ll ever met in my life. So powerful, so determined, yet so gentle and affectionate. Huge personalities and all.

It took me awhile to understand who I am and I’m not completely sure I do and this little world where women love women feels so safe for me.

Can I also use this post to open my research for my next wife? No, I can’t? No, I shouldn’t? Whaaaat I just did! Please, babe HMU 🫶

Anywayssss…

🌺 The changer and the changed by homosociallyyours || 60K ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It’s the spring of 1977 and Harry Styles has just moved to New York City after graduating college. She knows she’s a lesbian. She just needs to figure out how to meet other lesbians. Louis Tomlinson works at a popular women’s bookstore in the Lower East Side, Womon’s Direction, where she spends her days reading feminist literature, writing poetry, exchanging friendly barbs with her boss Niall, and dreaming of finding someone to love. When Harry and Louis meet, their connection is instantaneous. Slowly but surely, Louis welcomes Harry into her community of women. Stonewall veteran and old school butch Niall; Liam, a land dyke who’s moved to the city for love; and Zayn, a lesbian musician who’s been ostracized by a vocal part of women’s community for being trans, welcome Harry with open arms, ready to help her find her place in New York City’s bustling lesbian scene. It’s a time of growth for everyone involved.

🌺 It’s all gonna roll your way by 1Diamondinthesun ( @1diamondinthesun ) || 53K

Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn are editors at Nova, a historically progressive women’s print magazine with plans to launch digital content at the end of the summer. Louis is a single mom and temporary worker with a knack for graphic design. When investors request sweeping reform in their content, Harry and her team have to decide which principles, if any, they’re willing to compromise in order to survive as an online publication.

🌺 Bluer than velvet were her eyes (softer than satin were her thighs) by thebreadvan ( @thebreadvansstuff ) || 12K

Harry hums a melody absentmindedly as she works, bent over the sewing table, when the bell above the door chimes suddenly, announcing the arrival of a customer. Mid-stitch, Harry glances up.

“Good morning,” comes the woman’s feathery voice. Harry should probably welcome her, say something, anything, but she’s captivated by her slow and powerful walk, the click of her leather knee-high boots. With the needle hovering above the fabric, Harry slides her eyes up thick thighs, the maroon blazer that ends just above them, and the black knit dress that engulfs the woman’s figure, stretching obscenely around her bust. Jesus Christ.

Or, Harry should probably stop obsessing over her customer’s boobs, but fate can’t keep her away from Louis.

🌺 who run the world (girls!) by dolce_piccante || 11K

A femslash take on the beginning of Relief Next To Me, complete with girl!Direction, lots of tongue action, and lots of hints to the original work.

🌺 I feel it when my heart beats by Quickedween ( @becomeawendybird ) || 10K

Harry offers to be her best friend Liam's fake date to his work Valentine's Day party, and the night takes an unexpected turn.

🌺 Ride the W.A.V.E by Quickedween ( @becomeawendybird ) || 7K ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Petty officer Louis Tomlinson can't resist a good thing when it's right in front of her.

🌺 Under the R.A.D.A.R by Quickedween ( @becomeawendybird ) || 6K ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Petty officer Louis Tomlinson has been assigned to the rear admiral's fiancée for the month the couple is aboard the USS John F. Kennedy. She can only hope that he won't catch on to what they're doing... after hours.

🌺 Gotta get (me) out of my head by parmahamlarrie ( @parmahamlarrie ) || 6K

Sometimes, Harry Styles cannot get out of her head. Her ADHD, coupled with working from home, sometimes makes it impossible for her to ever find peace. Luckily, she has Louis, her loving girlfriend and Daddy, to take care of her.

Or the one where Harry gets her first collar.

🌺 Pacify her by yeah_alright ( @uhoh-but-yeah-alright ) || 5K ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Harry's anxiety is acting up. Louis has the only thing that will soothe her.

OR Louis' pussy is the ultimate pacifier.

🌺 To sleep, perchance to ream by yeah_alright ( @uhoh-but-yeah-alright ) || 4K

Louis has never minded that Harry tends to go to sleep earlier than her. But the nights when Harry signals she'd like Louis to...wake her when she comes to bed are Louis' favorite.

🌺 The Christmas (to the one I’ve been missing) by Kikiberoski16 ( @larrysballetslippers ) || 3K

“Thank you, Louis,” Miss cutie said with a light whine. Louis nodded and walked with her to the paper sheets' aisle. To hear the girl's soft footsteps behind her was more than satisfying. So polite and cute, the fact she remembered Louis name said- “Wait, how do you know my name?”

or, Louis almost made it to the end of her shift before someone familiar stepped into the store. A long awaited Christmas tale.

🌺 Tear it off by ialwaysknewyouwerepunk ( @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk ) || 3K

Harry and Louis are married and have a toddler. Their home life is a cuteness overload, and then grandma Anne comes by to pick up the kid for a day out. Harry and Louis are then alone, perfect timing for a little bedroom adventure. Including, you guessed it, harry's pink cowboy get-up from coachella.

🌺 little pink skirt by ialwaysknewyouwerepunk ( @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk ) || 3K ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Harry, Louis, Zayn and Liam are at a festival. It's the afternoon of the last day, and they're lounging on the grass before the action starts, still recovering from the night before. There's a bunch of sexual tension between H and L from where things left off in their drunken haze. When Louis tries to light a spliff, the wind makes it impossible to do so, for which Harry has an ingenious idea. And then one thing leads to another.

[dragonmarquise]

Wren's Very Long BRC Relationship Headcanons Post

Emphasis on very long, there's a lot of them listed here. Not just romantic ships, but also friendships, rivalries, and even exes!! Some of these I only did a little blurb about, others have a paragraph in their own right, lol

Like I mentioned last night, I want to write at least some oneshots of some of these (especially some of the romantic ships, you can probably guess which ones 😈), but I don't know where to start since I have given myself Too Many Options. :u

So if there's a particular one you want me to ramble about, feel free to send in an ask! If anything I encourage it, since I'm hoping it'll help push me in the right direction to eventually write some fics about these. One relationship per ask please, and note that some of these I'll have a lot more to say than others!

Friendships:

In general, I think in each crew, the crew members get along with each other well enough to call each other friends. Probably the only exception is Veronica of FUTURISM, given I made her the one teammate that the rest don’t like. :u

Bel, Mesh, and Shine are the kind of people who try to be friends with everyone, or at the very least make a conscious effort to get along with everyone in the Bomb Rush Crew!

Mesh & Cueball in particular as friends is one I wanna point out here! Cueball starts out being suspicious of Mesh, because he doesn’t realize Mesh is just being nice. Poor Cueball has no friends outside of DOT EXE, and even then he didn’t get along with them better until after Eight Ball’s death and Cueball leaving that crew to join BRC. Him and Mesh eventually become pretty good friends, and that leads to him getting along better with the rest of the crew too!

Eventually Mesh and Cueball also become friends with Sai too! Sai being my Devil Theory OC who joins BRC. He was kinda in the same situation as Cueball, being suspicious about people being nice to him, but they win him over eventually. :P

Rise, Shine, and Rave in particular end up being a trio of besties~

And the “Core 5” members (Tryce, Bel, Felix, Vinyl, and Solace) are besties too!!

I’ve mentioned this in the past, but all 4 Devil Theory members were friends for a long time before forming their crew, and still remain best friends!

Rivals:

Daishō vs. Tryce, mostly the former trolling the latter, such as specifically putting graffiti over Tryce’s own pieces. Tryce tries to not let it get to him, emphasis on “tries”.

Sai vs. Red, as a friendly rivalry where they fight each other in sparring matches. Note, Red is a separate person from Felix in my headcanons after the events of the game (I’ve changed how Red exists in my headcanons since the last time I talked about him; long story short they find a writer’s cyberhead mind that’s in need of a new cyberhead, and Felix had been rebuilding the Red cyberhead for himself as a replacement for his old mask, so…)

Rietveld vs. Nunchaku (Nunchaku being another Devil Theory OC, she’s a trans butch lesbian!), this one is kind of a one-sided thing on Rietveld’s part. Basically at one point Bel has a crush on Nunchaku, while Rietveld had a crush on Bel, and thus thinking a rivalry is gonna happen. But thankfully for Rietveld, Nunchaku turns Bel down (Nunchaku is more into other butches). The “rivalry” basically fizzles out after that, especially once Rietveld was finally able to ask Bel out. :P

Okay, so now getting into the romantic ships, I'm breaking them up into 3 sections, one with just canon characters, the second with canon characters paired with one of my OCs, and the last being canon x OC with the OCs in this case being ones I haven't even drawn yet, lol...

Romantic (Only canon characters):

DJ Cybr x Felix; Cylix, Cyber Kings, whatever you want to call it! I like to think both of them keep shuffling their feet on it for a long while, with flirting from DJ going over Felix’s head sometimes, and one being convinced the other just wants to be friends, etc.

Bel x Rietveld (inspired by some of @supraandhergoreshia's doodles of them, like this, and this, and also this one, and this really cute one ;u; )

Shine x Coil (inspired by some of @monkiinart's art of them together, such as this, and this one, also especially this one ahh)

Mesh x Solace (inspired by KOMAP's art of them!! Like this, and this, and this! There's more doodles of these two on KOMAP's Xitter too :> )

Romantic (Canon x OC):

Rise x Sai (Devil Theory spring palette), fake dating turned into real dating oh no, lol

Bō (Devil Theory winter palette) x Cueball, computer nerds dating each other, though also as Cueball puts it, “Nerd boyfriend? Jock boyfriend?? Pfft,” *gesturing towards Bō* “Get yourself a man who can do both!!”

Vinyl x Nunchaku (Devil Theory summer palette), butch lesbians together!!

Daishō (Devil Theory autumn palette) x Vela (Eclipse spring palette), or rather Hiro x Sara (i.e. their respective real names), since each of them don’t know the other is a writer�� yet

Quatorze (14-ball DOT EXE) x Jūrō (10-ball DOT EXE), though that’s a given since they’re a married couple. Together and still in love, even after going full-cyber!!

Escher x Cinco, old man yaoi basically lol. And I do mean actually old man, Cinco is in his 60s, and I imagine Escher is either around the same or in his 50s at the very least.

Nyx (FUTURISM spring palette) x Aquila (Eclipse summer palette), as discussed in a previous post of mine!

Veronica x Faux, but they weren’t actually dating, she just had a major crush on him. She swears she’s over him after the whole Project Algo thing, but nah, she’s lying, #1 Faux stan right here lmao

Romantic (With OCs that I haven’t even drawn/talked about publicly yet, lmao...):

Rave x Cuervo, he’s a former member of the Umbra Apex crew I made a long while ago

Red x Cress, I’m not even sure how much I can say about this character without spoiling for future potential fics. Red meets them under very unusual circumstances, I’ll say that much.

Lyra (Eclipse autumn palette) x Cherry, an OC who works in New Amsterdam as a tattoo artist. I actually have a few ideas for “new NPCs” for the game to add additional features and minigames, Cherry being one of them.

Michael (Franks autumn palette) x Monica, OC who runs this sort of skate/stunt park for writers in Millennium Mall. She’s also one of the “new NPCs” I mentioned before. Her skate park would basically be a minigame area for getting high scores in exchange for stuff you can display at the hideout. Also-also she’s Tryce’s aunt :P

Exes:

Rise and Faux, absolute disaster of a relationship, not even in a fun way. My version of Faux makes for a horrendously selfish boyfriend, lmao. After the relationship finally ended, Faux referred to Rise as “an egotistical uppity bitch”, and Rise still refers to Faux as “the most insufferable white boy I’ve ever had the displeasure of dating”.

Sai and Daishō, they dated back in secondary school (i.e. roughly high school), because they figured they love each other platonically as best friends, so why not romantically? Unfortunately, things get awkward real fast for two reasons: First, Daishō realizes he’s definitely straight (Sai in comparison is bi), and second, despite the previous point Daishō actually forced himself to keep up the relationship because he really didn’t want to break Sai’s heart. The truth came out eventually and they managed to talk things out and go back to being best friends. Which is probably a miracle that they were able to stay as friends at all, considered what happened and how awkward things got for them for a while there.

Tryce and Bel, the idea being that they tried dating when they were younger (they were not friends previously, so this was something arranged via a dating app or something), but then Bel realizes she’s a lesbian and they have an amicable break up and stay friends afterwards. They only went on one or two dates at that point, and found they got along but just not in a romantic way (and also, again, Bel is a lesbian). So then, this is a far less awkward version of Sai and Daishō’s temporary romantic relationship. :u

Other:

Twoson (2-ball DOT EXE) + Fourside (4-ball DOT EXE) will flip flop on what exactly their relationship is, and give different answers every time either of them is asked. Best friends, friends with benefits, romantic, queerplatonic, etc. They definitely have a deep relationship and care about each other, with Fourside in particular being very protective of Twoson if things get ugly. Still, neither of them likes putting any particular label/definition to what’s going on between them.

[spiralcloudpassage]

STELLAR BLADE THOTS TIME. To everyone and anyone who thought it was going to be a bad game i hope you eat it. Post-game elementary review under the cut.

the game’s design is eponymously stellar. The world is fleshed out; there’s plenty of exploring to do and objectives to complete; maps are expansive and multilayered with different layouts and aesthetics to each one; gameplay and combat controls are immaculate; and most surprisingly, the character writing is introspective and focused. I had an unbelievable amount of fun with this game, and am currently enjoying the new challenge of a hard mode in new game+. I will be playing this game for a long time to come.

much of the genuine trepidation towards this game (other than The Discourse which was so asinine and pathetic that i loathe that i may have to address it momentarily) I believe came from the suspicion that it would be a clone of nier: automata, with many elements from the story we saw in trailers and the demo giving clear parallels to the plot of an alien invasion threatening a league of sexy androids. Any further inspection however reveals that most of the direct parallels end there, with the direction of the plot and the personalities that bloom giving stellar blade its own unique sense of character. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the women in the game were given agency and drive (the game passes the bechdel test for anyone that needs it spelled out), though of course i wish that the designs for the women were more varied. No game is complete without a good handful of bulldog butches to round out the cast, and it’s a shame that they didn’t give us anything of the sort when the male designs are varied in that way and more interesting because of it. I love playing as the missing 13th member of LOONA, but even a strict sense of aesthetics should understand and appreciate the diversity of people that populate a planet– even when that planet has been made desolate.

Another large point of contention is the costumes in the game, which was once again a largely-reactionary response from cherrypicked screenshots teased before the games’ release, on both sides. Some of the costumes are, indeed, quite tacky, in the honorable spirit of any game in the cuntress slasher genre (or any game period, truthfully; they can’t all make the cover of vogue), but most of the costumes are actually well designed and stylish. There’s clear inspiration for each one, the themes are varied, and while thankfully not every costume is is sexy, every article of clothing EVE can acquire is chic. I appreciated that there are a few costumes where she has flat shoes in lieu of heels, and a few that dont accent her boobies or ass. Sometimes a girl needs a break from being the baddest. to the other side of the argument that threw a temper tantrum over “censorship” when the outfit you were bitching about literally shows off her kardashian-plumped pussoi; put a shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger with your toes lmfao I dont even have the sense of humor to entertain your nonsense. One of the costumes has a clit window (and still serves). Another one forgoes the classic womb tattoo (or LED lights in this case) for the new and insightful ovary tattoo (LED light) instead. You’re so pathetic i can’t even put it into words.

The biggest attraction to this game for me personally however was without a doubt the combat. In the first look trailer we got in 2021, a video i can play in my mind as clear as day, I was able to identify two key features that put this title on my radar: a perfect dodge, the mechanic which platinum games perfected in Bayonetta all the way back in 2009, and a perfect parry, the mechanic that rocketed fromsoftware’s Sekiro to the top of the foodchain to forever outclass all action games to come. We will never get another Bayonetta or another Sekiro, much like there will never be a narrative that resonates quite as profoundly as what yoko taro produced in Automata, but Stellar Blade is not any of these games. Stellar Blade is Stellar Blade, and achieves a striking identity with the fluidity of its combat. Though being familiar with its predecessors aids in the understanding of its systems, treating them as interchangeable will lead to ruin, which I appreciated immensely. I didn’t start off doing terribly, but was punished severely for getting too greedy with combos or not being aggressive and proactive enough while trying to bait out attack sequences. The more personal nature of combat lends it more towards Sekiro, but with only a handful of human enemies in the game (four if i recall correctly, all bosses), the tactics and aggression needed to carve monsters to pieces are different and must be treated as such. Study, practice, and patience lead to action sequences that are bombastic, exhilarating, and salacious.

All of the action is underscored by a soundtrack that was truly breathtaking. Collabing with Keichii Okabe’s MONACA studio for some of the tracks was another cause for outcry of copycatting NieR (ignoring that MONACA has a very obvious deck of cards that they like to reuse across all of their games, no shade of course it’s all delicious), yet the soundtrack as a whole is diverse in its genre expressions. Obvious inspiration from kpop is what gives Stellar Blade its stylish personality, yet there are moving orchestral pieces, hard rock solos with thrilling guitar, and slow, mellifluous melodies that drift in and out of speakers as you move between the hub city and outside maps, or during brief stops at rest camps.

Perhaps the most delightful surprise in the game, however, was the true source of inspiration for the meat of the gameplay; Stellar Blade is a single-player action-adventure game, and it takes clear direction from the most successful games that came before it. Puzzles to progress forward or gather loot are varied and enjoyable in the same ways as Resident Evil, the atmosphere and level design is most reminiscent of Dead Space (a comparison I’m tickled to make, as several areas in the game were genuinely creepy and unsettling), and the platforming sequences are as tight and fun as the ever-classic Crash Bandicoot. There’s a fishing minigame that kicked my ass. The PS5 controller uses its functions to the fullest with its adaptive triggers changing the tension based off of ammunition fired from the drone or with soft vibrations to emulate the pitter-patter of raindrops or EVE’s footsteps on different terrain changing the intensity of vibration based on the texture of whatever is underfoot. It was sensory heaven identifying sneak attacks from burrowing enemies rumbling and tunneling under the sand to jump out at me from behind. There are difficulty levels that adjust the challenge to player preference, with accessibility options that let you auto-succeed QTE sequences or single-press buttons that would typically be repeated mashing inputs. This is a video game that enjoys being a video game, and as a woman enamored with video games, I cannot get enough of it.

There are criticisms to make, of course, and I’m not here to settle the argument of whether this game is feminist or misogynist. To label it as one or the other ignores the tepid nature of the subject, and encourages bystanders to form an opinion without seeing for themselves what’s under the hood. As a sexual woman who enjoys being strong, independent, violent, yet still sensual, demure, and unfathomable, I was delighted with the experience. EVE stands proud as her own woman; she is not the catty dominatrix aroused by carnage and destruction that is Bayonetta, nor is she the silent and surly tortured soul that is 2B. Stellar Blade can take pride in distinguishing itself from its foremothers as a modern game with modern aesthetics, and I hope to see developers truly understand just what kind of care and attention it takes to produce such a stellar title.

[aclosetfan]

They would!! I think the greens + Brick would be such a funny dynamic, especially with the way fanon sometimes writes them. Also I think Butch as a middle man would be so funny if written as a comedy and so heartbreaking if written as an angsty fic. I think mostly because fanon depicts Butch as the brother to follow Brick’s orders more (which… anyway) so if he got with BC eventually it would be interesting to see it pan out in that way. Which I guess adds to hc I have that Butch learns to find his voice as an overall arc for him. Weird how despite having the formula, fanon rarely takes direction where he does end up finding his voice. It usually shifts from being Brick’s yes man to arguing with but also being BC’s yes man.

I mean, we could always pretend that prompt you wrote with prinbloss and BC + the boys as partly diverting from greens👀 I’d allow it if it means your money’s now where your mouth is lol

You're so right about Butch shifting to Buttercup's yes-man, and while I try hard not to do that, I feel like I sometimes fall into the same trap. He's a good yes-man, after all! However, a story about BC and Brick arguing over Butch and Butch finally yelling at them to shut up would be so cathartic...that gives me ideas, but I'll have to revisit it later!

Right now, I'm going to try to do the four other green pairings. Later tonight, I plan on posting something for all those people who love Bubbles and Butch, and I think it's so cute! I just have to edit it. Then, I'll conquer the other three pairings!!

[mithliya]

like this post is just weird sorry

[reanimatedcourier]

How to Write Indigenous Characters Without Looking like a Jackass:

Update as of December 26th, 2020: I have added a couple new sections about naming and legal terms, as well as a bit of reading on the Cherokee Princess phenomenon.

Boozhoo (hello) Fallout fandom! I'm a card-carrying Anishinaabe delivering this rough guide about writing Indigenous characters because wow, do I see a lot of shit.

Let's get something out of the way first: Fallout's portrayal of Indigenous people is racist. From a vague definition of "tribal" to the claims of them being "savage" and "uncivilized" mirror real-world stereotypes used to dehumanize us. Fallout New Vegas' narrated intro has Ron Perlman saying Mr. House "rehabilitated" tribals to create New Vegas' Three Families. You know. Rehabilitate. As if we are animals. Top it off with an erasure of Indigenous people in the American Southwest and no real tribe names, and you've got some pretty shitty representation. The absence of Native American as a race option in the GECK isn't too great, given that two Native characters are marked "Caucasian" despite being brown. Butch Deloria is a pretty well-known example of this effect. (Addendum: Indigenous people can have any mix of dominant and recessive traits, as well as present different phenotypes. What bothers me is it doesn't accommodate us or mixed people, which is another post entirely.)

As a precautionary warning: this post and the sources linked will discuss racism and genocide. There will also be discussion of multiple kinds of abuse.

Now, your best approach will be to pick a nation or tribe and research them. However, what follows will be general references.

Terms that may come up in your research include Aboriginal/Native Canadian, American Indian/Native American, Inuit, Métis, and Mestizo. The latter two refer to cultural groups created after the discovery of the so-called New World. (Addendum made September 5th, 2020: Mestizo has negative connotations and originally meant "half breed" so stick with referring to your mixed Latine and Indigenous characters as mixed Indigenous or simply by the name of their people [Maya, Nahua].)

As a note, not every mixed person is Métis or Mestizo. If you are, say, Serbian and Anishinaabe, you would be mixed, but not Métis (the big M is important here, as it refers to a specific culture). Even the most liberal definition caps off at French and British ancestry alongside Indigenous (some say Scottish and English). Mestizo works the same, since it refers to descendants of Spanish conquistadors/settlers and Indigenous people.

Trouble figuring out whose land is where? No problem, check out this map.

Drawing

Don't draw us with red skin. It's offensive and stereotypical.

Tutorial for Native Skintones

Tutorial for Mixed Native Skintones

Why Many Natives Have Long Hair (this would technically fit better under another category, but give your Native men long hair!)

If You're Including Traditional Wear, Research! It's Out There

Languages

Remember, there are a variety of languages spoken by Indigenous people today. No two tribes will speak the same language, though there are some that are close and may have loan words from each other (Cree and Anishinaabemowin come to mind). Make sure your Diné (you may know them as Navajo) character doesn't start dropping Cree words.

Here's a Site With a Map and Voice Clips

Here's an Extensive List of Amerindian Languages

Keep in mind there are some sounds that have no direct English equivalents. But while we're at it, remember a lot of us speak English, French, Spanish, or Portuguese. The languages of the countries that colonized us.

Words in Amerindian languages tend to be longer than English ones and are in the format of prefix + verb + suffix to get concepts across. Gaawiin miskwaasinoon is a complete sentence in Anishinaabemowin, for example (it is not red).

Names

Surprisingly, we don't have names like Passing Dawn or Two-Bears-High-Fiving in real life. A lot of us have, for lack of better phrasing, white people names. We may have family traditions of passing a name down from generation to generation (I am the fourth person in my maternal line to have my middle name), but not everyone is going to do that. If you do opt for a name from a specific tribe, make sure you haven't chosen a last name from another tribe.

Baby name sites aren't reliable, because most of the names on there will be made up by people who aren't Indigenous. That site does list some notable exceptions and debunks misconceptions.

Here's a list of last names from the American census.

Indian Names

You may also hear "spirit names" because that's what they are for. You know the sort of mystical nature-related name getting slapped on an Indigenous character? Let's dive into that for a moment.

The concept of a spirit name seems to have gotten mistranslated at some point in time. It is the name Creator calls you throughout all your time both here and in the spirit world. These names are given (note the word usage) to you in a ceremony performed by an elder. This is not done lightly.

A lot of imitations of this end up sounding strange because they don't follow traditional guidelines. (I realize this has spread out of the original circle, but Fallout fans may recall other characters in Honest Hearts and mods that do this. They have really weird and racist results.)

If you're not Indigenous: don't try this. You will be wrong.

Legal Terms

Now, sometimes the legal term (or terms) for a tribe may not be what they refer to themselves as. A really great example of this would be the Oceti Sakowin and "Sioux". How did that happen, you might be wondering. Smoky Mountain News has an article about this word and others, including the history of these terms.

For the most accurate information, you are best off having your character refer to themselves by the name their nation uses outside of legislation. A band name would be pretty good for this (Oglala Lakota, for example). I personally refer to myself by my band.

Cowboys

And something the Fallout New Vegas fans might be interested in, cowboys! Here's a link to a post with several books about Black and Indigenous cowboys in the Wild West.

Representation: Stereotypes and Critical Thought

Now, you'll need to think critically about why you want to write your Indigenous character a certain way. Here is a comprehensive post about stereotypes versus nuance.

Familiarize yourself with tropes. The Magical Indian is a pretty prominent one, with lots of shaman-type characters in movies and television shows. This post touches on its sister tropes (The Magical Asian and The Magical Negro), but is primarily about the latter.

Say you want to write an Indigenous woman. Awesome! Characters I love to see. Just make sure you're aware of the stereotypes surrounding her and other Women of Color.

Word to the wise: do not make your Indigenous character an alcoholic. "What, so they can't even drink?" You might be asking. That is not what I'm saying. There is a pervasive stereotype about Drunk Indians, painting a reaction to trauma as an inherent genetic failing, as stated in this piece about Indigenous social worker Jessica Elm's research. The same goes for drugs. Ellen Deloria is an example of this stereotype.

Familiarize yourself with and avoid the Noble Savage trope. This was used to dehumanize us and paint us as "childlike" for the sake of a plot device. It unfortunately persists today.

Casinos are one of the few ways for tribes to make money so they can build homes and maintain roads. However, some are planning on diversifying into other business ventures.

There's a stereotype where we all live off government handouts. Buddy, some of these long-term boil water advisories have been in place for over twenty years. The funding allocated to us as a percentage is 0.39%: less than half a percent to fight the coronavirus. They don't give us money.

"But what about people claiming to be descended from a Cherokee princess?" Cherokee don't and never had anything resembling princesses. White southerners made that up prior to the Civil War. As the article mentions, they fancied themselves "defending their lands as the Indians did".

Also, don't make your Indigenous character a cannibal. Cannibalism is a serious taboo in a lot of our cultures, particularly northern ones.

Our lands are not cursed. We don't have a litany of curses to cast on white people in found footage films. Seriously. We have better things to be doing. Why on earth would our ancestors be haunting you when they could be with their families? Very egotistical assumption.

Indigenous Ties and Blood Quantum

Blood quantum is a colonial system that was initially designed to "breed out the Indian" in people. To dilute our bloodlines until we assimilated properly into white society. NPR has an article on it here.

However, this isn't how a vast majority of us define our identities. What makes us Indigenous is our connections (or reconnection) to our families, tribes, bands, clans, and communities.

Blood quantum has also historically been used to exclude Black Natives from tribal enrollment, given that it was first based on appearance. So, if you looked Black and not the image of "Indian" the white census taker had in his brain, you were excluded and so were your descendants.

Here are two tumblrs that talk about Black Indigenous issues and their perspectives. They also talk about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people of Australia.

However, if you aren't Indigenous, don't bring up blood quantum. Don't. This is an issue you should not be speaking about.

Cherokee Princess Myth

"Princess" was not a real position in any tribe. The European idea of monarchy did not suddenly manifest somewhere else. The closest probable approximation may have been the daughter of a chief or other politically prominent person. But princess? No.

Here is an article talking about possible origins of this myth. Several things are of note here: women from other tribes may have bee shoved under this label and the idea of a "Cherokee Princess" had been brought up to explain the sudden appearance of a brown-skinned (read: half Black) family member.

For a somewhat more in depth discussion of why, specifically, this myth gets touted around so often, Timeline has this piece.

Religion

Our religions are closed. We are not going to tell you how we worship. Mostly because every little bit we choose to share gets appropriated. Smudging is the most recent example. If you aren't Indigenous, that's smoke cleansing. Smudging is done in a specific way with ceremonies and prayers.

Now, a lot of us were forcibly converted. Every residential school was run by Christians. So plenty of us are Catholic, Baptist, Anglican, Lutheran, etc. Catholicism in Latin America also has influence from the Indigenous religions in that region.

Having your Indigenous character pray or carry rosaries wouldn't be a bad thing, if that religion was important to them. Even if they are atheist, if they lived outside of a reserve or other Indigenous communities, they might have Christian influences due to its domination of the Western world.

Settler Colonialism and the White Savior Trope

Now we've come to our most painful section yet. Fallout unintentionally has an excellent agent of settler-colonialism, in particular the Western Christian European variety, in Caesar's Legion and Joshua Graham.

(Addendum: Honest Hearts is extremely offensive in its portrayal of Indigenous people, and egregiously shows a white man needing to "civilize" tribals and having to teach them basic skills. These skills include cooking, finding safe water, and defending themselves from other tribes.)

Before we dive in, here is a post explaining the concept of cultural Christianity, if you are unfamiliar with it.

We also need to familiarize ourselves with The White Man's Burden. While the poem was written regarding the American-Philippine war, it still captures the attitudes toward Indigenous folks all over the world at the time.

As this article in Teen Vogue points out, white people like to believe they need to save People of Color. You don't need to. People of Color can save themselves.

Now, cultural Christianity isn't alone on this side of the pond. Writer Teju Cole authored a piece on the White Savior Industrial Complex to describe mission trips undertaken by white missionaries to Africa to feed their egos.

Colonialism has always been about the acquisition of wealth. To share a quote from this paper about the ongoing genocide of Indigenous peoples: "Negatively, [settler colonialism] strives for the dissolution of native societies. Positively, it erects a new colonial society on the expropriated land base—as I put it, settler colonizers come to stay: invasion is a structure not an event. In its positive aspect, elimination is an organizing principal of settler-colonial society rather than a one-off (and superseded) occurrence. The positive outcomes of the logic of elimination can include officially encouraged miscegenation, the breaking-down of native title into alienable individual freeholds, native citizenship, child abduction, religious conversion, resocialization in total institutions such as missions or boarding schools, and a whole range of cognate biocultural assimilations. All these strategies, including frontier homicide, are characteristic of settler colonialism. Some of them are more controversial in genocide studies than others." (Positive, here, is referring to "benefits" for the colonizers. Indigenous people don't consider colonization beneficial.)

An example of a non-benefit, the Church Rock disaster had Diné children playing in radioactive water so the company involved could avoid bad publicity.

Moving on, don't sterilize your Indigenous people. Sterilization, particularly when it is done without consent, has long been used as a tool by the white system to prevent "undesirables" (read, People of Color and disabled people) from having children. Somehow, as of 2018, it wasn't officially considered a crime.

The goal of colonization was to eliminate us entirely. Millions died because of exposure to European diseases. Settlers used to and still do separate our children from us for reasons so small as having a dirty dish in the sink. You read that right, a single dirty dish in your kitchen sink was enough to get your children taken and adopted out to white families. This information was told to me by an Indigenous social work student whose name I will keep anonymous.

It wasn't until recently they made amendments to the Indian Act that wouldn't automatically render Indigenous women non-status if they married someone not Indigenous. It also took much too long for Indigenous families to take priority in child placement over white ones. Canada used to adopt Indigenous out to white American families. The source for that statement is further down, but adoption has been used as a tool to destroy cultures.

I am also begging you to cast aside whatever colonialist systems have told you about us. We are alive. People with a past, not people of the past, which was wonderfully said here by Frank Waln.

Topics to Avoid if You Aren't Indigenous

Child Separation. Just don't. We deserve to remain with our families and our communities. Let us stay together and be happy that way.

Assimilation schools. Do not bring up a tool for cultural genocide that has left lasting trauma in our communities.

W/ndigos. I don't care that they're in Fallout 76. They shouldn't be. Besides, you never get them right anyway.

Sk/nwalkers. Absolutely do not. Diné stories are not your playthings either.

I've already talked about drugs and alcohol. Do your research with compassion and empathy in mind. Indigenous people have a lot of pain and generational trauma. You will need to be extremely careful having your Indigenous characters use drugs and alcohol. If your character can be reduced to their (possible) substance abuse issues, you need to step back and rework it. As mentioned in Jessica Elm's research, remember that it isn't inherent to us.

For our final note: remember that we're complex, autonomous human beings. Don't use our deaths to further the stories of your white characters. Don't reduce us to some childlike thing that needs to be raised and civilized by white characters. We interact with society a little differently than you do, but we interact nonetheless.

Meegwetch (thank you) for reading! Remember to do your research and portray us well, but also back off when you are told by an Indigenous person.

This may be updated in the future, it depends on what information I come across or, if other Indigenous people are so inclined, what is added to this post.

[allwaswell16]

This is a fic rec of One Direction fics where at least one of the main pairing is of an older age than they are in real life as requested in this ask. You can find my other fic recs here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. Happy reading!

Larry

💛 The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, @kingsofeverything (E, 109k, cheating au, married Louis, Louis/ofc, Harry/omc, sexuality crisis, chance encounter, silver fox Louis, older Harry, beach, surfing, hotel sex, falling in love, bad decisions, angst with a happy ending, smut)

💛 You Make Lovin' Fun, @homosociallyyours (E, 109k, girl direction, cruise ship, silver fox Louis, age difference, strangers to lovers, polyamory Harry/OC, butch/femme, based on a true story, journalist Harry, vacation, Lesbian cruise, NYC, long distance relationship, light angst, masturbation, smut)

💛 Say Something, @kingsofeverything (E, 105k, a/b/o au, alpha Louis, omega Harry, older Harry, mpreg Harry, heat/rut matching service, age difference, unplanned pregnancy, insecure Harry, lawyer Harry, actor/theatre manager Louis, lactation kink, hurt/comfort, scenting, smut)

💛 Lightning Strikes Twice, @dinosaursmate​ (E, 104k, famous/not famous au, famous Harry, rock star Harry, groupie Louis, book store owner Louis, time jump, second chance, drug use, depression, light angst, smut)

💛 Don't Want Shelter, @kingsofeverything (E, 76k, enemies to lovers au, fwb, silver fox Louis, drinking, drug use, older Louis, older Harry, beach house, home repairs, bed sharing, hurricane, miscommunication, smut)

💛 That's What I'm Here For, @taggiecb (E, 46k, farm au, farmer Louis, older Louis, divorced Louis, age difference, boss/employee relationship, Canada, small town, demi Louis, sexuality crisis, grief/mourning, depression, self care, silver fox Louis, smut)

💛 we should open up (before it's all too much), @disgruntledkittenface (M, 43k, vampire au, vampire Louis, older Harry, grief/mourning, depression, emotional hurt/comfort, support group, loss of parent, dementia, strangers to lovers, falling in love, baker Harry, flirting, banter, smut)

💛 Someone to Fly Home To, @kingsofeverything (E, 34k, exes to lovers, post divorce, older Louis, older Harry, pilot Louis, kid fic but kids are adults now, professor Harry, weddings, travel, infidelity but not between Larry, smut)

💛 One Minute to Midnight, @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen (E, 29k, curses au, finance guy Louis, actor Harry, older Louis, aging, Seeking Arrangement, sugar baby Harry, sugar daddy Louis, Boston, holidays, holiday parties, NYE, angst with a happy ending, smut)

💛 Moments of Memories, @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity (M, 17k, reunited au, older Harry, older Louis, nostalgia, romantic soulmates, fate/destiny, fluff, smut)

💛 The One Who Holds My Heart (series), @phd-mama / phdmama (E, 13k, established relationship au, librarian Louis, professor Harry, long term love, marriage, older Harry, older Louis, kissing, angst, smut)

💛 Thought The Song Was Sung, @100percentsassy (E, 12k, famous/not famous au, famous Harry, not famous Louis, ex-boybander Harry, older Harry, older Louis, online dating, phone sex, teasing, flirting, fluff, smut)

💛 a garden in bloom, @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity (G, 10k, bed and breakfast au, writer Harry, bed and breakfast owner Louis, older Louis, older Harry, platonic soulmates between Louis and Niall, silver fox Louis, bickering, fluff, gardening, pining, insecurity, falling in love)

💛 Silver Fox Harry (series), @softloubabie (E, 8k, older Harry, age difference, jealous Harry, long hair Louis, daddy kink, lingerie, subspace, wall sex, smut, each fic is stand alone)

💛 sweet like cherry vodka, dilfrry (NR, 8k, older Harry, sugar daddy Harry, sugar baby Louis, age difference, college student Louis, CEO Harry, fluff, smut)

💛 'Sup, @mediawhorefics / MediaWhore (G, 6k, coffee shop au, older Harry, older Louis, awkward flirting, disaster gay Harry, embarrassment, fluff, pushy Gemma, Starbucks, lawyer Harry, divorcee Harry, writer Louis, pining Harry)

💛 Have Me And Hold Me, @letsjustsee​ (NR, 5k, established relationship, wedding, wedding day, rain, fluff, no smut)

💛 I Want to Write You a Song, @phd-mama / phdmama (G, 5k, established relationship au, older Harry, older Louis, kid fic, parenting, reverse chronology, America, snippets/vignettes)

💛 You Drive Me Wild, @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (E, 5k, older Louis, silver fox Louis, executive Louis, chauffeur Harry, age difference, masturbation, dirty talk)

💛 may we all have a vision now and then, @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity (M, 4k, older Harry, age difference, America, bar, one night stand, insecure Harry, strangers to lovers, feelings, vulnerability, kissing, smut)

💛 Empty Nest, @loaded-gunn / LoadedGunn (G, 3k, canon, older Louis, older Harry, kid fic, grown kids, empty nest syndrome)

💛 It’s About Time, @kingsofeverything (G, 3k, friends to lovers, older Louis, older Harry, roommates, marriage proposal, lawyer Louis, chef Harry)

💛 When I leave you / When you leave me / When we leave, @sweariwouldnt (NR, 3k, canon, three scenes, leaving, xfactor era to present era to older Harry/Louis, feelings)

💛 The Depth and the Breadth and the Height, @phd-mama / phdmama (M, 2k, long term relationship au, vignettes, grief/mourning, depression, loss of parent, healing, therapy, hopeful ending, smut)

Shiall

💛 A True Love of Mine, @myownsparknow / myownspark (T, 2k, Niall/Shawn Mendes, older Niall, older Shawn, established relationship au, beach, past Niall/Zayn, funeral, friends to lovers)

Zouis

💛 Pretty Little Plaything (series), Phillipa19 (E, 55k, Zayn/Louis, older Zayn, sugar daddy Zayn, sugar baby Louis, age difference, insecure Louis, jealousy, miscommunication, dom/sub, past relationships, angst with a happy ending, emotional hurt/comfort, wedding, marriage)

[ahagia-sophia]

Long post ahead

This is a rough draft of a document I'm putting together. I figured I'd put it on tumblr in case this, like many of my writing projects, becomes nothing more than a dusty file in a forgotten folder. At least this way it might reach someone who needs it.

These are my thoughts on being a butch transwoman. I got the idea for putting this together after I saw so many young (whether in body or in mind) girls going on to forums (see; Reddit and Tumblr) and asking the general queer community how to be queer. I was moved to write it after I saw other butch transgirls approach butch women and ask that same question. Often the answer was unsatisfying.

"Be who you are. That's all it takes to be butch. If you are, you are. If you aren't, you aren't."

This is correct. And really, it is the be all and end all answer to being queer. But this isn't really useful to girls who have gone through the painful journey of self-discovery only to find that they can't even be transfemme right.

They're too masculine. Dresses don't feel right. Make-up doesn't feel right. Pastels don't feel right. Looking at all the transgirls around you and realizing that you're a minority inside of a minority is alienating. So, that's the girl I'm talking to. The girl who has sat down and read book after book, article after article, and asked question after question in an attempt to find herself in someone else. To find the answers that she needs so that she can take that first step forward to realizing that all she needs to be is herself.

First, my credentials. I've only been out for a year, and I've only known I was butch for about 6 months. I'm not a queer elder, I'm not on the scene talking to queer women, I'm not in bars, and I'm not at events (covid is Fun). I will be, of that I'm certain. But I haven't yet. So all these ideas and thoughts and definitions that I'm going to lay out in this document are based purely on my own academic reading, introspection, and talking to other girls on tumblr.

Reading books like Stone Butch Blues and Dagger: On Butch Women (both free online) is a good place to start if you don't want to get all of you information from some chick on tumblr. But as you're reading them you may find yourself asking the question, "but where am I? Where are the butch transgirls in these books about butch women?"

The answer, so far, is that we're not there. When transwomen are discussed from the butch angle they're usually feminine. Or, like a shooting star, you see a single sentence about a muscular transwoman racing and playing and boasting with the other butches, but rarely is there more than that. And you may notice that when (for lack of a better term) cis-butches talk about their experiences being butch it's all rather ciswoman-centric, which makes sense.

From what I gather being Butch was something that was suppressed by second-wave(?) feminism and only in the 80s/90s were butches no longer demonized or thought of as backward. So they had a lot going on, and the groundwork still needed to be relaid. They're writing books for themselves about themselves. And that means that most butches that you'll read about are approaching masculinity from a very specific direction.

You and I. We've come all the way around. From a little boy playing with snakes and mud and rocks to a confused girl who knows she was never that little boy, but can't understand why she isn't feminine like the other girls. We're not rebelling in the same way they are, we didn't live the lives they led. And while I can always see who I am reflected in any given butch, it sure is nice to have another transbutch around to tell you that you're not alone.

Being a masculine woman who's saddled with a dick and a deep voice is a rough place to start. I like my voice, I like my boots, and I like being solid as a rock. And to anyone who didn't know, I probably look like just another man. And when I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes its hard for me not to see a man.

That's the real crux of it. Transwomen already tend to feel a lot of impostor syndrome, especially if you're a lesbian. And especially if you're a masculine lesbian. Because you and I are just about the easiest targets for TERFs and pricks this side of the Rockies. And that gets to your head.

It took me a long time to separate being masculine and being a man in my own head. I never had a problem seeing how butches are masculine and not men, but for me in my own head it was different. To me, being masculine is the gateway to feeling feminine.

I have never felt more feminine than when I'm being masculine.

I've never felt more like a woman than when I'm clomping down the street listening to my carabiner jingle.

I've never felt more feminine than when sweat blinds me after a good workout.

I've never felt more feminine than when I have to work on my car, or fix a drain, or tear up carpet, or just be a shoulder for my girlfriend to cry on.

I've never felt more feminine than when I have to be calm and level headed in a turbulent situation.

When I seek masculinity. And when I perform masculinity. It's different. This is hard to explain in my own mind, let alone put into words. So I'm going to talk some more about other things and try to approach it from a different angle.

One idea that I've seen thrown around a lot is that being butch is an inherent challenge to male masculinity. Being butch is another way, a different path, a different theory of masculinity that is predicated on being queer and being a woman. I am certainly both of those things. And if I wasn't the kind of person to overthink something to death that's where I would leave it. Done and Done.

And really, you won't get any push-back from anyone who's opinion you should care about. No decent butch is going to push you out of the community just because of an accident at your birth. And no girl worth knowing is going to exclude you because your shoulders are a little too broad.

But anyway, you're probably waiting on the answer to the question posed at the beginning of all of this.

"How can I be butch?"

Well, honestly, I couldn't say. I'll tell you what makes me feel butch though. For me the easiest way to feel butch is in my music. I like acoustic guitar and harmonica. I like off-key vocals and lyrics that I can barely understand. I like songs about love. I like sad songs with a quick bassline.

When I go out I like the weight of my carabiner on my waist.

I like denim. Lots and lots of denim.

I like to wear leather too. I like to write poetry. I like to be there for people. I like to be someone that everyone can rely on for help if they need it. I like pretty femmes that make me tongue-tied when we go out together. I prefer to top. I don't like to be penetrated. I like long midnight drives and smoking under the stars. I like to camp. I like to raise my voice and get in good natured arguments over meaningless things. That's what makes me feel butch.

If you're read this far, I'd really dig it if you added you're own thoughts about being butch (trans or otherwise). I'm probably going to expand on this, there are a lot of topics that I've only grazed here that I really want to go into.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

if anyone wants to recommend musicals to me I would fucking adore that. Until then, here are some suggestions:

Love in Hate Nation-- LET’S GO LESBIANS! 1960s sapphic love story taking place in a girls’ reformatory. Also, trans girl played by trans actress!!! Some of the amazing songs are “I Hope” and “Oh Well”. Susannah Son wants to be a singer, her performative activist boyfriend is gross and also wants her to marry him so he’ll have better options politically. Sheila Nail is so fucking cool and I love everyone in this. My brain cuts out about this I’m so sorry babes. There is not a cast recording but there IS an original cast bootleg on youtube.

Holy Musical B@man!-- If you liked the goofiness of 1960s Batman and Robin, but think “man, these guys should’ve been able to swear! And also should have had a candy themed villain!” this is the musical for you. Also if you’ve heard of the very queer Harry Potter musical that JK herself tried to sue over, it’s made by the same group <3. As usual with Team Starkid, whole thing is up for free on youtube by the creators.

Firebringer-- Speaking of the same group... Cave people sapphics who I think are bi or pan. I love them and they’re all so dumb. Also, if you’ve seen the “I don’t really wanna do the work today” vine, that comes from this. I do not remember any of the second half other than one of them taking the ring the other is proposing with... to propose. And the “*blows kiss*” “fuck no, Zazz” “duly noted”. Kind of like a shitpost musical. Once again, free by creators. Actually, check out any of their musicals.

The Prom-- In Indiana, Emma just wants to take her girlfriend to the prom, and in response, the PTA cancels it. With some help from some broadway actors looking for good publicity, they manage to pull it off. So, to summarize, teen lesbian gets gay uncle who knows what she’s going through!! This musical makes me cry every goddamn time. There is a movie now, and I’m very happy about that because *high profile gay rep on netflix*, but I personally did not like the direction they took with it. They put a weird amount of emphasis on biological rather than found family in the movie, and were a little too forgiving when it came to trauma from family for being gay. Also, they took away Emma being butch. This was sadly (loosely) based on a recent true story from I think 2012. Also, was the first gay kiss in the Macy’s parade. You know those movie musicals the straight girls in theater like? The music is similar, but gayer, and for some reason that makes me so fuckng happy. I think it’s because non-queer people have had musicals for so long, and those normally have a 60s vibe, and the music in this does too and it feels more classic?? Sapphic promposal song (het at the beginning). “Unruly Heart” and the end of Act 1 will break you. Please ignore the bad wigs.

Spies Are Forever-- GAY SPIES GAY SPIES GAY SPIES!! Curt Mega (played by... Curt Mega) lost his partner Owen during a mission. Now, he’s just trying to get back into spying like Owen would want. I fucking weep every time. Also, a song about comphet (at 6:36)!! And here is a video essay on how it relates to the Lavender Scare. I want you all to know that everyone also headcanons the femme fatale spy in it as either a lesbian or aroace, which uh, makes sense. Also high quality videos put up by creators. They had Jewish people making fun of Nazis while writing this, but “Not so Bad” is... kinda bad. “Torture Tango” has so much goddamn sexual tension and becomes devastating.

Hadestown--  If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 1. Orpheus is a poor musician, Eurydice dies, just like the myth. Except, the Great Depression post-apocalyptic setting that works better than it probably should. There are actually 3 soundtracks: the concept album, off-Broadway, and Broadway. I personally don’t like the concept album purely based on vibe. Off-Broadway has an absolutely gorgeous sounding Orpheus, and if you’ve heard of the disaster that was Spiderman: Turn Out the Dark, then you’ve heard of surprisingly amazing Broadway Orpheus Reeve Carney. The Fates are gorgeous and I’ve decided they’re queer. Tony’s performance link here. Explores relationships, with Hades and Persephone’s aging relationship mirrored by Orpheus and Eurydice’s relatively new one. Anyway, unionize.

Jasper in Deadland-- If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 2. Jasper is a teen who’s best friend Agnes is pretty much the one good thing left in his life. His mom left, he got kicked off the swim team (he’s manic pixie dream boy in this, especially for swimming), and Agnes dies at the beginning trying to show Jasper that she’s brave and he should be too. So, he bravely ventures into Deadland to find her, meeting Gretchen the tour guide along the way. He also finds out that since he’s still living, he can bring memories back to the dead. Songs like “Stroke by Stroke” (he’s uh, definitely a teen, guys) and “Living Dead” (I shared a prinxiety animatic of that on here a while ago).They blend Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Christian, and whatever Dante’s Inferno counts as together to create Deadland. Story’s kinda hard to follow from the soundtrack, so if u wanna learn how it all ties together message me.

Death Note Musical-- Okay babes, here’s where it gets tough. It was written originally in English, and there is a spectacular English concept album, but the only productions have been in South Korea, Japan, and I think Taiwan. Listen to it anyways, find a bootleg of it with english subtitles. It has so much gay tension and also a truly ethereal character who seems to be a lesbian who is also either demisexual or demiromantic. If any of y’all saw the anime like me, it kind of cuts out the arc after episode 26. I personally thought it was actually a better story for it.

Alice by Heart-- Okay, this one makes me fucking cry every goddamn time. In WW2, these poor goddamn kids are all alone in the Tube System (is that what y’all call it? genuinely asking here) with none of their parents but still some grownups. Alice’s best friend Alfred is dying of tuberculosis, and to try to have one last thing together they start reading Alice in Wonderland, only for Nurse Hart to rip it apart to try to separate healthy Alice from dying-from-TB Alfred. It doesn’t work, and Alice proclaims she “knows it all by heart”, She tries to linger in the story with Alfred to have more time with him, he keeps trying to move it along because he’s dying and wants to finish it one last time. Themes are growing up and grief I guess.

Last I checked, there is a bootleg for all of these on youtube. Have fun!

[asleepinawell]

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

[goose-books]

sensitivity reader call for modern LGBT high school shakespeare retelling

[image: a picture of a row of light blue school lockers, over which are the words SENSITIVITY READER CALL! in white text.]

hi! i’m max & i’m seeking sensitivity readers for my podcast-in-process, A Modern Tragedy!

demographics sought

Muslim

Desi (specifically Indian & Pakistani)

Black

Trans woman / transfemme

Plus size

Working-class

the story

Rahma Ashiq didn’t expect her sophomore year of high school to be quite so Shakespearean. But she’s determined to vlog her way through the chaos: the freak thunderstorms, the ghost sightings, the usurpation of the drama club presidency, the theater director who might be a faerie queen, all of the mental breakdowns, and, of course, the girl with whom Rahma might be in hopeless, star-crossed, all-consuming love.

in less fancy terms, AMT is a sixteen-episode tragicomedy podcast with the general idea of “what if Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, and Macbeth all happened at the same time, in the same modern high school, to a few overlapping groups of gaytrans high schoolers?”

some other things it features: shakespeare jokes, gay love, explorations of teenage mental health, substantial amounts of #ownvoices OCD rep, drama club shenanigans, and Idiots™. you can find the main page here and the character intro posts here!

cw note: i describe AMT as a tragicomedy because it starts out very light, gets progressively darker, and ends on an optimistic note! thus, while i can guarantee a happy ending (for one thing, the gay people don’t die at the end!), i need to warn broadly for mental health triggers, suicide in particular. all three plays AMT retells deal, to varying degrees, with suicide, and it felt disingenuous not to address it in a story focused on modern teenagers. so the topic gets a not-insignificant amount of page time. other triggers involved (though to lesser degrees) include self-harm and unhealthy family dynamics.

if you’re interested in reading an excerpt of the script, to get a feel for the writing style, allow me to direct you here! (ft. rahma, reuben, + bitty prepping for homecoming)

payment

due to my financial circumstances, i’m unable to offer monetary payment at this time; however, i’m happy to offer editing, beta reading, and sensitivity reading in return:

i can edit and/or beta read your writing! by which i mean that i can do lower-level edits like line editing or typo sweeping, or i can do a full-on beta read! in terms of [straightens my tie] qualifications, i’ve been writing things for basically my entire life; i’ve done nano thrice; you can read excerpts of my work here if you want to judge my qualifications further!

i can also sensitivity read for the following demographics:

lesbian (specifically a nonbinary & butch lesbian if either of those is relevant)

transmasc (specifically i’m transmasc & nonbinary! not a trans man clearly as i am a lesbian, but i can give general tips on representing trans characters)

generalized anxiety disorder

ocd

adhd

apply

if you’d like to apply, please fill out this google form and i’ll get back to you as soon as possible!

ty for reading this post & have a lovely day!

(tagging some of the amt/general folks if any of y’all are willing to boost this for me! @piyawrites @harehearts @narratorstragedy @haldimilks @albatris @writingbyjillian )

[aro-comics]

Fashion Analysis (Part 2: Outside of Amatonormativity Alone)

[Note: This post is a part of a series analyzing self-expression, fashion, aromanticism, and how they interact with other parts of identity. For full context please read the whole thing!]

Outside of Amatonormativity Alone: Sexism, Homophobia (and/or Transphobia), Racism, Ableism, and Other Factors That can Impact Self Expression 

My comic was originally meant to be a light hearted joke. I’d always been told I’d want to dress up one day, be pretty and feminine once I fell in love with a boy (BLEGH). I was so certain that I would never do that, and now … here we are. I put lots of effort into my appearance, present feminine, all in the hopes I’ll impress a very special someone - a potential employer at a networking event. I think there’s a certain irony to all of this, and I do find it funny that I managed to both be wrong and completely subvert amatonormative stereotypes! 

But having the chance to think about the whole situation, I realize now that my changes in presentation reflect far more. The pressure I felt to dress differently are still influenced by fundamental forms of discrimination in society, and I would be remiss to not address these inherent factors that were tied with my experiences alongside my aromanticism. So in this section, I will briefly cover some of these factors and summarize how they can influence people’s self expression as a whole, before discussing my own experiences and how these factors all intersect. 

Sexism

The pressure on women In This Society to uphold arbitrary norms is ever present and often harmful, and while I wish I had the time to discuss the impacts of every influence the patriarchy has on personal expression, to even try to cover a fraction of it would be impractical at best for this essay. Instead, since the original comic focuses on professionalism and presentation, this is what I will talk about here. 

Beauty standards are a specific manifestation of sexism that have a deep impact on how people perceive women. It’s a complicated subject that’s also tied with factors like capitalism, white supremacy, classism, and more, but to summarize the main sentiment: Women are expected to be beautiful. Or at least, conform to the expectations of “feminine” “beauty” as ascribed by the culture at large. 

They also tend to be considered exclusively as this idea that "women need to be beautiful to secure their romantic prospects, which subsequently determines their worth as human beings. The problematic implications of this sentiment have been called out time and time again (and rightfully so), however there is an often overlooked second problematic element to beauty standards, as stated in the quote below: 

“Beauty standards are the individual qualifications women are expected to meet in order to embody the “feminine beauty ideal” and thus, succeed personally and professionally” 

- Jessica DeFino. (Source 1) 

… To succeed personally, and professionally. 

The “Ugly Duckling Transformation” by Mina Le (Source 2) is a great video essay that covers the topic of conforming to beauty standards through the common “glow up” trope present in many (female focused) films from the early 2000s. 

“In most of these movies, the [main character] is a nice person, but is bullied or ignored because of her looks.”

Mina Le, (timestamp 4:02-4:06)

Generally, by whatever plot device necessary, the ugly duckling will adopt a new “improved” presentation that includes makeup, a new haircut, and a new wardrobe. While it is not inherently problematic for a woman to be shown changing to embrace more feminine traits, there are a few problems with how the outcomes of these transformations are always depicted and what they imply. For starters, this transformation is shown to be the key that grants the protagonist her wishes and gives her confidence and better treatment by her peers. What this is essentially saying is that women are also expected to follow beauty standards to be treated well in general, not only in a romantic context, and deviation from these norms leads to the consequences of being ostracized. 

The other problematic element of how these transformations are portrayed are the fact that generally the ONLY kind of change that is depicted in popular media is one in the more feminine direction. Shanspeare, another video essayist on YouTube, investigates this phenomenon in more detail in “the tomboy figure, gender expression, and the media that portrays them” (Source 4). In this video, Shaniya explains that “tomboy” characters are only ever portrayed as children - which doesn’t make any sense at face value, considering that there ARE plenty of masculine adult women in real life. But through the course of the video (and I would highly recommend giving it a watch! It is very good), it becomes evident that the “maturity” aspect of coming of age movies inherently tie the idea of growth with “learning” to become more feminine. Because of the prevalence of these storylines (as few mainstream plots will celebrate a woman becoming more masculine and embracing gender nonconformity) it becomes clear that femininity is fundamentally associated with maturity. It also implies that masculinity in women is not only not preferred, it is unacceptable to be considered mature. Both of these sentiments are ones that should be questioned, too. 

Overall, I think it is clear that these physical presentation expectations, even if not as restrictive as historical dress codes for women have been, are still inherently sexist (not to mention harmful by also influencing people to have poor self image and subsequent mental health disorders). Nobody should have to dress in conformity with gender norms to be considered ���acceptable”, not only desirable, which leads us to the second part of this section. 

Homophobia (and/or Transphobia)

So what happens when women don’t adhere to social expectations of femininity? (Or in general, someone chooses to present in a way that challenges the gender binary and their AGAB, but for the sake of simplicity I will discuss it from my particular lens as a cis woman who is pansexual). 

There are a lot of nuances, of course, to whether it’s right that straying from femininity as a woman (or someone assumed to be a woman) will automatically get read a certain way by society. But like it or not, right or not, if you look butch many people WILL see you as either gay, (or trans-masculine, which either way is not a cishet woman). This is tied to the fact that masculinity is something historically associated with being WLW (something we will discuss later). 

This association of breaking gender norms in methods of dress with being perceived as a member of the LGBTQ+ community has an influence on how people may choose to express themselves, because LGBTQ+ discrimination is very real, and it can be very dangerous in many parts of the world. 

I think it’s very easy to write off claims in particular that women are pressured into dressing femininely when it is safer to do so in your area; but I really want to remind everyone that not everyone has the luxury of presenting in a gender non-conforming way. This pressure to conform does exist in many parts of the world, and can be lethal when challenged.

And even if you’re not in an extremely anti-LGBTQ+ environment/places that are considered “progressive” (like Canada), there are still numerous microagressions/non-lethal forms of discrimination that are just as widespread. According to Statistics Canada in 2019: 

Close to half (47%) of students at Canadian postsecondary institutions witnessed or experienced discrimination on the basis of gender, gender identity or sexual orientation (including actual or perceived gender, gender identity or sexual orientation).

(Source 3)

Fundamentally this additional pressure that exists when one chooses to deviate from gender norms is one that can not be ignored in the conversation when it comes to how people may choose to express themselves visually, and I believe the impacts that this factor has and how it interacts with the other factors discussed should be considered. 

Neurodivergence (In general): 

In general, beauty standards/expectations for how a “mature” adult should dress can often include clothing that creates sensory issues for many autistic people. A thread on the National Austistic Forum (Source 6) contains a discussion where different austistic people describe their struggles with formal dress codes and the discomfort of being forced to wear stiff/restrictive clothing, especially when these dress codes have no practical purpose for the work they perform. If you’re interested in learning more on this subject, the Autisticats also has a thread on how school dress codes specifically can be harmful to Autistic people (Source 7). 

In addition to potentially dressing differently (which as we have already covered can be a point of contention in one’s perception and reception by society as a whole), neurodivergence is another layer of identity that tends to be infantilized. Eden from the Autsticats has detailed their experiences with this in source 5. 

Both of these factors can provide a degree of influence on how people choose to express themselves and/or how they may be perceived by society, and are important facets of a diverse and thoughtful exploration of the ways self-expression can be impacted by identity. 

Also, while on this topic, I just want to take a chance to highlight the fact that we should question what is considered “appropriate”, especially “professionally appropriate”, because the “traditional” definitions of these have historically been used to discriminate against minorities. Much of what gets defined as “unprofessional” or otherwise “inappropriate” has racist implications - as an example, there is a history of black hairstyles being subjected to discriminatory regulation. Other sources I have provided at the end of this document (8 and 9) list examples of these instances.  

Racism (being Chinese, specifically in this case): 

For this section, I won’t be going into much depth at all, because I actually have a more detailed comic on this subject lined up. 

So basically, if you were not aware, East Asian (EA) people tend to be infantilized and viewed as more childish (Source 10). In particular, unless an EA woman is super outgoing and promiscuous (the “Asian Bad Girl” stereotype, see Source 10), IN MY OPINION AND EXPERIENCE it’s easy to be type casted as the other end of the spectrum: the quiet, boring nerd. On top of this too, I’ve had experiences with talking to other EA/SEA people - where they themselves would repeatedly tell me that “Asians are just less mature”,  something about it being a “cultural thing” (Yeah … I don’t know either. Maybe it’s internalized racism?). 

Either way, being so easily perceived as immature (considering everything discussed so far) is also tied to conformity to beauty standards and other factors such as sexism and homophobia, which I believe makes for a complex intersection of identity. 

[Note from Author: For Part 3, click here!]

[disgruntledkittenface]

fic fest participation 2021

thank you @uhoh-but-yeah-alright for tagging me! Secretly, I really wanted to do this one and looking at my AO3 now, I participated in more fests than I thought I did last year.

Number of fests: 4

Numbers of fics: 5

i fell in, i’m falling, i’m for you – This was for the Harry & Men Fest (now @harryrarepairfest for round 2!), which I modded. I knew I wanted to write for it, and I hadn’t done a zarry fic yet. When I saw the lyrics for Zayn’s song better (which I took the title from), it screamed angsty zarry exes to lovers... and then I wrote 10k of absolute fluff. I tried!! I really did! I ended up really liking what I wrote and I had the best time watching zarry fanvids as research.

a little tenderness – I had no intention of signing up for @1daboficfest because I was trying to focus most of my energy on my Grace Kelly AU WIP. But then I saw a batch of narry prompts that all ended with the word “please” like this very polite plea for something, anything narry and I just thought why not?? I’m really glad I wrote this, it’s soft and tender and quiet and while it’s alpha/omega it doesn’t feel like traditional omegaverse to me. And the response has been so much more than what I expected, I didn’t think a lot of people would read this pairing, especially a fic without smut.

just the thought of you – This was for @wankersday fest, which seemed like a nice, low-pressure fest to just write something fun for at the time. I went to my ideas doc for inspo and when my eyes landed on “Liam is a fireman. Harry sets his apartment on fire.” that was it. I don’t remember when it occurred to me that it could be girl direction but I am so, so glad it did because I love how this turned out. I want to change up girl direction characters’ styles/appearances more than I have in the past, and I had a lot of fun making this Liam the butch of Harry’s dreams.

making my way downtown – I wasn’t going to write anything else for @wankersday but then I saw a photo of Harry in character for My Policeman WITH HIS LITTLE BACKPACK and the fic practically wrote itself, and really quickly too.

comfort – I had some free time and sat down to see if I could come up with something for the @1dtrickortreatfest and this is what came out. I asked a friend to read it, like genuinely “is this worth posting?” because it was sad, and she was really encouraging and the response has been lovely, so I’m glad that I did.

Favorite fest/fic: I think it’s a little tenderness! That fic took me by surprise this year, and it’s really close to my heart.

Fests you would love to do again this year (if they come back): I’m writing a gryles fic for @harryrarepairfest and I might do @wankersday and @1dtrickortreatfest if the timing works out!

I think a lot of people have done this already so I am tagging anyone who hasn’t had a chance to yet!

[threewaysdivided]

How do you feel about Pink Astronaut. Personally I feel like Paulina deserved a little better than the writers gave her.

I'm 99% sure that's the ship name for Danny x Paulina, right?

(Which probably says a lot about my engagement with the shipping side of the Phandom 😅.)

TBH I don't have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

In all cases I'm a very gen-focussed fan - my interests tend run more in the direction of character psychology, non-romantic platonic/ familial relationships, lore, mystery and theme. It's a personal thing but I just don't read romantic/sexual intent/attraction into character interactions unless they're explicitly framed/intended as such and the way much of the shipping community seems to do so goes completely over my head.

Which isn't to say that I avoid all ship-fics, or that there aren't a number of noncanon ships that I enjoy across different fandoms, but for the most part I favour genfic and when I do read shipfic they tend to be the stories that focus on personality, emotional chemistry and personal/emotional compatibility. And when it comes to thinking about "ships" myself I tend to lean more towards times when characters have canonically expressed that kind of interest, the reasons why they would be compatible/ find each other attractive, how they feel about it and what it says about them.

But back to Paulina:

I think you're right - as a character she (along with basically every human character outside of the main trio, the Fenton family and sometimes Valerie) suffers massively from underdevelopment because of the show's nature as for the most part an episodic kid's superhero-comedy with an ooky-spooky gimmick. Danny Phantom the show is a place where The Status Quo is God and the Rule of Funny/Cool/Drama supersedes everything, up to and including the characters and their consistency.

(You can even see this and the obviously conflicting visions of different parts of the creative team effect the main characters too. Danny suddenly carrying the Jerk Ball in service of a generic "don't be superficial/ materialism is bad" story in Livin' Large, how Tucker is basically learning the same lesson twice across What You Want and King Tuck, the multiple times where Sam's more abrasive negative traits are used as a source of plot/conflict but are never meaningfully addressed or developed because the writers want to keep using those traits for drama and eventually to use her character as the Morally Righteous Generic Love Interest Behind Danny's Heroism... et cetera et certera et cetera.)

Literally every character in DP is done a disservice by the show's writing and Paulina runs into the same problem. She's chained to the post of a very specific narrative function/ character archetype and never intentionally developed beyond what's needed to serve the Plot/ the Joke.

She's clearly written to be the Rich Plastic Mean Girl à la Regina George, and while there is a potentially very interesting character beneath that surface appearance - which we can see in places like Parental Bonding where she shows emotional intelligence by immediately clocking that Sam is actually jealous of Danny's attraction to her, and in her "if my skin is perfect, I'll be perfect" line from My Sister's Keeper which hints at some potentially significant appearance-based self-worth issues - the show itself basically only ever uses her "Pretty Girl" and "Popular A-Lister" status as a source of surface-level character drama for the trio and as a rare plot-convenient situational ally in dire circumstances. Her actions show a consistent characterisation but it's so rudimentary that it barely clears that archetype to become its own thing.

I think if Danny Phantom had taken more structural and tonal influence from Spiderman (or even something like Disney's Kim Possible) rather than Fairly Odd Parents - still keeping things mostly light-hearted but with some extra focus on character consistency and layering some ongoing character arcs over each season - there could have been a lot of potential to develop and flesh out Paulina as a narrative foil/ ongoing rival to Sam and her own character arc. It also could have added some more meaningful non-stereotypical female character dynamics, which are disappointingly but perhaps not surprisingly lacking from a "for boys" Nicktoon headed by a man who named himself "Butch". But as it is she unfortunately falls into that No Man's Land for me, where she isn't developed enough to have much deeper canon worth investigating and isn't really thematically/narratively significant enough that I'd want to develop her myself for story purposes.

As for the Pink Astronaut ship itself, all I can say is that, at least for me, canonically it... isn't really one. At least in terms of what I personally characterise as a 'relationship'. It's stuck at a very shallow level; Danny has a superficial surface-level infatuation with Paulina because she's pretty and popular, and Paulina looks down on "geeky dork loser" Danny Fenton while having a superficial surface-level infatuation with Danny Phantom as "the cute ghost-boy who rescued her". There's no real sense of actual personal chemistry based on them knowing, appreciating or even seemingly caring to know who the other is as a character. None of their "romantic" hijinks really involve them learning anything meaningful about each other or even having a proper conversation. Paulina "dates" Fenton purely to piss off Sam, then "Paulina" shows personal interest in Danny but it turns out to actually be Kitten trying to piss off Johnny, and when she does show interest in him after the reveal in Reality Trip it's kind of obvious that it's because she's interested in dating Phantom and his secret identity wouldn't have mattered either way. And meanwhile Danny spends most of his time either too busy with ghost stuff to properly pay attention to her as a person, or he never really shows any interest or understanding beyond his fantasies about how she's very conventionally pretty (which he finds attractive/desirable) and popular (which he wants to be).

So while there's a lot of potential for people to write that ship in terms of them being two very different characters from different backgrounds who come to learn about each other as people, come to appreciate each other on a personality level and develop an actual romantic/emotional connection based on that... within the show itself that surface level is sort of where it starts and ends.

And like I said, I'm not a shipper. Even with the bigger, more canonically-substantiated ships I look for the personalities moreso than the romance.

So I don't really have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

Sorry if that's not a satisfying answer.

But I do agree: like most DP characters, Paulina Sanchez has a lot more character potential than the writing allowed her.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

7 and 16 for the ask game.

Also, I love your blog so much. Thank you for your writing/all the work you do

❤ Thank you so much for the ask, darling! And for reading! 😊

7-- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

For me, a lot of my problems are with figuring out how to end something. I, ahem, tend to overwrite a lot because of this. Also, I can sometimes struggle with how much "build-up" there needs to be (especially with NSFW stuff for some reason), sometimes I like to just jump in, but other times I get so caught up writing everything that comes before, that I have to cut out whole chunks at the beginning. Like, I'm working on an NSFW prompt rn with X6, and it's killing me, cuz I'm like 1500 words in and they haven't even touched each other yet 😩 so I might have to just scrap what I have or try to re-direct it in some way to make it work, but yeah, that's the struggle for me, lol.

16-- Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

I'm not sure this counts as a trope lol, but the mix of hurt and fluff for me is just *chef's kiss*. Like, yes, I'll take my angst with a good bit of comfort to get me through it, thank you very much.

And I really do just like writing fluff, (don't get me wrong, I looooove some angsty shit, and sinning with that NSFW content is always a good time but... fluff just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I know it makes others feel good, which I like :)

That being said, the friends to lovers trope comes really naturally to me (I love this for Preston and Piper x Sole), and I find the second chances trope to be really sweet as well (this one I tend to use for Butch x Lone).

But I wanna mess with tropes more often! Since I tend not think about them consciously when I'm writing.

Thank you for the ask! If y'all wanna send any more in I'm down to keep answering them, even though I know I reblogged the fanfic writer question post a little while ago now 😅

[weaselbeaselpants]

Weird week behind me weird week ahead of me but I’ve done a lot of self reflection and came to the weirdest epiphany. The older I get the more I realize all my ‘problems’ with VivziePop - her thoughts on criticism;  the choices she makes in story telling; some of the people she’s worked with (not that any of that’s my business; I’m not her mom) really aren’t about Viv, but more about her fandom.

I’m speaking of the preHazbin era Viv here and as someone who’s only watch horny fish jump at the surface rather than jump straight into the Hazbin-fandom, but given my ‘noncritical’ fellow fans have told me that the Vivziefandom now is also terrible - I guess I’ll go over my experience and make the most out of what I do know.

I followed Viv in 2009 and fell off in 2013 cause I kinda just lost interest and found myself wrapped up in other fandoms. I’ve always felt amicable about her content; I could give or take designs or the way in which she wrote characters -- ((Zech represent!!!)) but it’s honestly surreal and really fun seeing this person I recognize make it big and improve so much. Like I’ve said before I am very happy and very impressed with Viv doing all she’s done in the span of TWO YEARS. wow gurl.

Trouble is, there was the particular breed of fan who really made me...uncomfortable. They felt almost possessive of Viv’s attention. They sang praises about her work in a way that just made me want nothing to do with it because I was worried if I drew those characters these people would be like ‘hey, I’M Viv’s fav artist, not you!”. They would  unironically write Viv messages like:

“you are a GOD” -- “I’m so not worthy compared to you” --“I wish I was as talented as you” -- “YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND CAN’T DO WRONG VIV”.

The kind of messages which were meant to sound flattering but, intentional or not, came off as gaslighting, like they were guilt tripping Viv about being better than them. This behavior, treating your favorite artist/internet personality like your superior and groveling like Starscream, it strikes a nerve with me; partly because I was this way with my favorite artists and influences back in the day,  but also because once I got a taste of that treatment myself I realized just how bad it could be:

There was once a girl on dA who was jealous of me because of the attention I got on my art instead of her. I told her that I wasn’t gonna stop drawing but also that there was nothing wrong with her art and she’d find her place. It was weird being put in that position where someone is very clearly upset at you but also looking for your approval.

The second was some scumball who I blocked in 2016. He wouldn’t speak to me, only write condescending, backhanded comments on my art; check on my profile daily; call me a bootlicker (cuz I took commissions) behind my back; redrew my art and would talk about me in his personal artist notes about how I ‘probably wouldn’t see this’ - oh yeah all the while he did fan art of my characters but again never spoke to me when I replied. When I finally messaged him about his behavior he said he thought I was “really overrated” and “bad for the fandom” cuz I took money and kept him from getting the love he deserved. It took messaging another person within our fandom, one I had been in spats with online before, to finally realize I shouldn't put up with that bs....

That guy who was stalking me btw did so while I was well under 1.K watchers and am still pretty obscure. Anyway, I had one guy unhealthily watching me for the wrong reasons. Just one. This is why when Viv says she “hates creeps” I 150% believe this woman and am not about to call her a liar who just can’t take criticism. Like, if you really think that, I’m sorry but you don’t know what Viv’s gone through from both her critics AND fans.

Of course, a lot of people will be like “I bet you’re just jealous and really just want that kind of attention yourself so you’re preaching to the choir”, but like...no. I am envious of just about any creator who’s the social butterfly I’m not, but, like, if I'm jealous of an artist none of that is that artists’ fault. Ever. It’s my own issues with being comfortable with myself are at stake. If I criticize Viv’s work it’s not because I see her as competition or my Squilliam Fancyson; it’s because I’m a critical fan of animation and cartoons and have my own thoughts to share on the cartoons of an artist I’m familiar with.  Jealousy/envy/mixed-admiration/godIwishthatwereme.jpeg feels are totally natural and valid emotions when you’re a creator. Envy becomes a problem when you internalize, weaponize, and scrutinize people on the basis of them being what you aren’t which -yes - some people do in the name of criticism. ((Although, I would hardly say some of the nastiest AntiViv folk are jealous as much as they are angry that this project they think is harmful is getting attention and using that as justification for some really shitty behavior of their own, which no, this post is not a part of by virtue of coming from a critical fan.))

Critique can come from either a good place or bad place; good critique can be used to bad ends and bad critique can come from a well-meaning place, and vice versa.   It’s the difference between many a criticalfan having a sour taste in their mouth regarding the Viv’s base but persisting in a critique+admiration separate of that, and this asswipemonster trying to weasel his way into Spindlehorse while also bashing Viv on a public forum for clearly vitriolic reasons. He was a creep.

So yeah um please stop insisting that every Hazbin critic is just jealous’ because a) there are people who have a past with Viv’s base and that clouds their judgement, but in a lot of cases that doesn’t invalidate their feelings or thoughts on her work separate from that, and b) I’ve seen what clingy gaslighting jealous fans are. Spoiler: they’re not so much Annie Wilkes as much as they are Tommy Wiseaus. You don’t want Tommy Wiseau following you.

Another bad vibe I really picked up on that I can kinda confirm is still probably the case now: people think that they know Viv and the Spindlehorse crew and have the right to send them shit they don’t need or WANT to be seeing.

Like, I talked with Viv once ages ago. I don’t remember what I said other than we were talking about Frankenweenie, I think. She was nice. Outside of that she said “thank you” to my comments on her deviations but that’s it. I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN AND unless you’ve worked with or are a legit friend/mutual of hers, NEITHER DO YOU. But I don’t think every Vivzie stan/critic knows this. Whether it be people assuming she MUST think they’re headcanon is now canon-canon cuz she liked a comment they made; or some critic thinking they must have seriously hurt her pride because they’ve been blocked by her on twitter (or you know, maybe she and the rest of Spindlehorse is tired of getting @s and don’t have to time to read through your analysis so they’re gonna just block and move on cuz they’re busy).

Just because the creators talk with fans doesn’t mean fans are literally their best friends and have a part in the show’s direction. And yes, critics and reviewers fit that bill as well. Know your damn boundaries people.

If you find/make some kind of contribution as a viewer that’s awesome but you should never expect nor DEMAND the creator see it. The most obvious horror stories involving this and Helluva/Hazbin have been the Instagrams made by the crew being harassed by incestpedo enthusiasts, but it applies even to just @ing creators as well.

I’ve seriously had someone tell me to just take my criticisms directly to Viv and like...no. Why would I do that?

I respect Viv and the artists working with her enough to know that they’re working their asses off on an animated series and should not be bothered. I don’t want them to stop all they’re doing and reply to me. I want them to keep working. Also, that kind of logic makes me wonder how many critics Viv’s found because she found it on her own or if some obsessed fan told her about it - which is really messed up cuz if it IS just good critique you’re, again, just pestering her, and if it wasn’t critique but full on harassment WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MESSAGE HER ABOUT THAT ANYWAY? I’m sure she doesn’t need to be reminded that people drew and said really awful shit about her on Tapatalk. My point being I’m sure what people think they’re doing is

“OOOoh Viv lookitwut this person is doing in our fandom we need to ban together against this toxic behavior”

but what they’re actually doing, and sounding like, is -

“Hey Viv I know you are working so hard on the show and you’re trying to figure out where to go from here but LOOKITWHUTTHISHATERSAID. LOOKATIT! VALIDATE ME VIV AND PUT’EM IN THEIR PLAAAAAACE!”

TL;DR Viv’s fanbase back in the day consisted of everyman artists and interests but there was this one breed of fan -who I hope was just a vocal minority- that ruined it for everything else.

Call it stanning or ‘simping’ or as it’s classically known, ‘white knighting’, whatever it was it really soured a lot of people on her because of those fans.

That’s why the DollCreep drama got so bad from what I can tell. Doll and Viv had a falling out and then called out eachother online where people who took it upon themselves to speak for them starting throwing mud.

Back in the day I remember Viv used to get mad at artists for ‘stealing’ her style. I think this attitude from Viv directly has vanished but I remember it happening because one of the people she thought was stealing her style did art for me at some point and they were basically shamed/chased off deviantART by a gaggle of these really nasty Vivfans.

inb4> “VIV WAS AWARE AND STILL WEAPONIZES HER FANS THO”

I don’t know that. And honestly, where I’m inclined to believe she’d do something like that then I think Viv is really different and has improved her business and public image from her college days. I’d be very disappointed in her if she was pulling a Butch Hartman or Derek Savage, but I just don’t think she is one, k?

Viv is more self critical and aware than any of these uber protective-gatekeeping fans give her credit for. She said on the Pizzapartypodcast that she knows the Hazbin pilot wasn’t perfect; she’s been able to identify the problems with old Zoophobia; this woman knows that criticism of all kinds need to exist and from what I see she sounds like she’s trying to get used to that. It’s just, you know, when you have nasty antis badgering you, stalkers, obsessive yes-mam’ fans, opinionated shit posters, r34 artists, entitled shippers and the NDAs of a company alongside your own branded image - all that negativity, even the constructive bits, tend to clump together and you just want to scream at it so you can finish the damn cartoon already!!!!

TL;DR: PART TWO

VivziePop/mind is basically indie Tim Burton.  Her work is fun, shallow and made with love but is marketed as being for everyone when it’s really not. Parts of it I love to watch; parts of it drives me crazy cuz of reasonswhatev this isn’t a review.

BUT any fanbase where people tell me I should just “expect what’s coming to me” when I’m trying to argue against dragging creators into fandrama is troubling. People have a parasocial bond with fandoms and their creators and they need to learn when to back off.