#writers sometimes value writing time over time with friends and family

[remembertheplunge]

Lew Moments

“…the very poor lack spokesmen in the shape of writers. Writers come predominantly from the middle class in which privacy is more easily obtainable, and in which solidarity with friends and neighbors is not so stringently demanded..” From the book  Solitude p. 82 by Anthony Storr.

My margin note to the above: (written in the margin of page 82 of the Solitude book)

"I give friends and neighbors the light touch. I crave and savor Lew moments! "10/31/2009 Saturday 7:50am

N: 7/2/2024

About 15 years since I wrote the above margin note and I still crave Lew moments. At that time , I had to work those moments into my time with my partner Jim. But, Jim’s liver failed and he died November 9, 2009, just 10 days after I wrote the above margin note. I went through months of intense mourning after his death, but emerged with a strong desire to have "Lew moment' writing sessions.

I enjoy time with my friends, but, I crave time with my inner scribe.

[itsabouttimex2]

I've seen people say that Mei's samadhi fire arc was rushed, I never really thought about it that much, but I wanted to ask more LMK fans about their opinion on it. I can't stop pondering about it sometimes.

The Samadhi Fire Arc

Honestly, in my opinion? The Samadhi Fire plot is probably the least rushed arc in all of Monkie Kid.

Season Four to me is rushed because they try to squeeze in lore about the Pilgrims, MK’s heritage, Pigsy’s feelings on being an adoptive father, the Monkie Crew’s feeling on their ancestors/forebearers, the Brotherhood, the Ink Scroll, and then try to set up for Season Five while they’re at it.

Season Five to me is rushed because they try to squeeze in Xiangliu, Nüwa, and Li Jing and flesh all three out with very little time to spread between another fetch quest (this makes four in total through only five seasons) while also trying to give attention to Mei, Tang, Pigsy, Sandy, Red Son and MK while not even having a special to help take some burden off of the 100-minute crunch the writing team unfortunately has to deal with.

However…

Because the writers set up the Lady Bone Demon beforehand, she’s not given too much direct attention in this season until near the end, instead getting occasional appearances throughout by interacting with Macaque and then Wukong and to some degree infecting both with her power.

Which means that we get a full ten episodes plus a special for essentially only two things- the Samadhi Fire foremost, with the Lady Bone Demon in the background until about the special, from my recollection.

This means Mei does get her fair share of character development throughout Season Three, which you would think might allow us to see her perspective and thoughts on the world around her. We do get to see a little more of her desire to “live up” to her ancestors very early on, but it’s addressed quickly and then entirely dropped.

Like, this was a heavily Mei-centric season! We should’ve gotten some thoughts and backstory and personal views and whatnot, but the Samadhi Fire basically took full control over any narrative that could’ve allowed the story to delve deeper into, well, Mei.

But it feels kinda like Mei herself is… secondary to the power inside of her at times, where she’s very much just an unlucky and draconic vessel.

Now this wouldn’t have been such a big deal if we had gotten something beyond the already seen “Mei wants to live up to her family’s expectations without comprising her moral values and self-identity”, but, uh… they dealt with that in the first season and resolved it pretty neatly. Her conflict with Ao Guang is just retreading water in the same way, when it would’ve been nice to have a deviation of some kind.

On a more positive note, one of the best things the season gives us is learning how she’s come to view Sun Wukong in the form of a tearful rant about his actions and the impact they’ve had on her and her friends.

That only matters to her for a few minutes, unfortunately, but it’s a highlight of the season, and I wish it hadn’t been dropped so quickly.

Now, her not being allowed to interact with him or Macaque past the third season in regards to the ways they’ve continuously endangered and hurt her is a horrible letdown that severely undermines the character growth of all three, which is part of the reason I think some people call it rushed.

Mei’s possession of the Samadhi Fire is dropped until season five, so it feels ultimately unimportant. Red Son; in spite of being fundamental to Mei’s mastery of his power, gets shelved from season four the next time we see him. Sun Wukong’s recklessness and threadbare “planning” is essentially forgotten about, because the next two seasons just find new shit for people to scream at him about. All of Macaque’s… everything, really, goes entirely ignored by the characters, narrative, and story.

And obviously that’s not exactly satisfying from a watcher’s perspective, because it feels like everything just has a strangely neat bow tied onto it in spite of there being lots of messy business in the past that still needs to be addressed, but just isn’t because there’s they’ve decided to write another “the world is going to end plot” instead of taking a breath and working through existing issues instead of circumventing older ones as irrelevant.

I think people are disappointed when they look backwards that these plot points or emotional beats were dropped and left unaddressed or only resolved with a heavy dose of “secretly all alongs”. For example…

Red Son somehow tracks Mei down without any real explanation. (No biggie, probably some kind of tech or magic. Him getting there isn’t as important as what he’s doing, so it can be ignored.) He decides to train her. For some reason he's good at teaching people to control themselves, even though he was barely able to control himself in seasons prior? Off-screen character development is never exactly satisfying, at least to me.

Throughout all of this interaction, he never once expresses the slightest of desire to reclaim or recreate the Fire for himself, and is content with Mei having it. Red even openly declares that the power is “hers” at the climax of the story.

(I could get into how fans treat Red Son + Samadhi Fire ((plus pandering from the writers)) in comparison to Mei, but that’s a rant for some other time…)

With his encouragement, Mei harnesses the Samadhi Fire and helps defeat LBD! This has a lot of longstanding implications for her place in the story and her role as a parallel force to MK! How exciting!

Sike! The Samadhi Fire is fucking gone, only one mention of it in the season, where an omniscient old man inside a hell scroll tells us that it’s gone.

Sike! Mei secretly all along still has the Samadhi Fire and also secretly all along has an insecurity complex over thinking she lost it but all of this is handled in about a minute.

Red Son secretly all along wanted to learn where the Samadhi Fire came from and is trying to recreate it...? When he's seen and felt how dangerous and uncontrollable it is and home of this was established before??

So, when you build up all these things for a full season and then drop most of them the fourth and wait until the fifth to resolve them, I think it left a very jarring impact on viewers who came to view the season as “rushed”… but only in hindsight.

It’s not a flaw I would attribute until I’m on the fifth season and thinking “this should’ve been addressed in an earlier season.”

Now, personally, there are some plot points I’m not really a fan of, like, again, the “macguffin fetch quest” nature of the Samadhi Fire rings. Normally I wouldn’t mind but again, this is Monkie Kid’s third macguffin hunt in total, and we get a fourth in Season Five. (Spider Venom Cure ingredients, LBD’s Mech Building, Samadhi Fire Rings, Power Stones)

Though I think the City of Lanterns is a cute bit of worldbuilding, like with most Monkie Kid worldbuilding it’s basically “Look at this cool thing! Enjoy it now, because we’re never coming back or addressing it again!” like they did with the Team Hideout, the Cloud and the Weather Station. “Look at this cool place! Okay we’re done showcasing a potential Lego set, change the backdrop!”

Or another is Sun Wukong just being… magically immune to it once he gets possessed?

Like, the whole reason he had to set out on this fetch quest was because the Lady Bone Demon was distinctly NOT immune to it? And he also was NOT immune to it? Because the Samadhi Fire is a wildly dangerous all-consuming fire that could destroy all of existence, but apparently all it takes to be totally unaffected by it is powerful person + possession by another powerful person? But again I guess the world-building and power systems of Monkie Kid have always been patchy and thin but it’s still frustrating AUGHHH

But I personally don’t think it’s “rushed” until it’s revealed later on that actually, “There’s more to the story!” when a lot of the story we have is just kinda… left hanging.

TLDR for anyone who skipped down here: It’s only rushed in hindsight. If someone theoretically stopped watching after Season Three I don’t think it would be called “rushed”.

[tirsynni]

There's a popular mindset that I'm seeing within fandoms right now, and it's the type of mindset which destroys fandoms and makes enjoying any type of storytelling difficult.

"Well, I don't understand why the character just didn't do this."

"If I was in that person's shoes, I wouldn't have done that dumb action."

"OBVIOUSLY, the character just should have done this."

One, if the character did all of that stuff, there wouldn't be a story to tell. Two, if the character had such a godly, clear perspective of everything and the emotional detachment to complete all of the actions, it would be a boring story. Three, that's not how shit works. That's not how stories work, and that's not how real life works.

"Why did that character run up the stairs? That was stupid of them."

Do you think they knew what genre they were in? How many horror characters know they're in a horror story? Many of them think that if they're in any genre, it's romance or something.

In that specific moment, with the known options available and no information beyond what is immediately in front of them, what option will the character take? The viewer or reader is outside the action. They can pause the movie. They can put down the book. The character doesn't have that option.

Characters within a story are also bound by the laws within that story. If they have the time and ability to think on their options, that still doesn't give them complete freedom of choice. They are still bound by specific options, with each set of options having possible positive and negative consequences.

This character has concerns about his current military operation? What makes more sense? Dramatically going AWOL with all of its possible complications and consequences or staying in line? More often than not, the latter makes the most sense to the character at the time. They think that they have the time and ability to figure everything out. They don't have the information to know just how bad the situation is.

The tragedy within stories and what often makes them fascinating to us is all of the things which binds the characters to their negative choices. A story where a character realizes they're in a horror genre and are completely willing to get the hell out of there... except they can't. Because they can't leave their friends behind. Someone who knows their actions will probably lead to their own death but truly believes that it will benefit their loved ones. Someone who keeps making awful choice after awful choice for all the best reasons and can't back out now: they've gone too far and they're confident that the next choice will make everything better again.

The best characters are the ones whose positives are balanced by their negatives. Their strengths become their weaknesses. A character's confidence becomes arrogance which leads to their doom. Someone's love becomes obsession.

And sometimes, within the frame of the story, the character can make all the right decisions and still fail. As Captain Picard says, that's life, and that also makes for an intriguing story.

I love my fix-its. I love writing how something could have changed to make a happy ending. I rarely want the canon to change unless the writer made that awful ending for stupid reasons, though, like laziness or just going for stupid shock value. Even then, the best fix-its work with the tragedy inherent in the original story.

Darth Vader survives! Now what? It's never implied within the narrative that he thought the bad guys were wrong, after all: he just chose his son over the emperor, chose love and family over the Empire. Him surviving by a change in circumstances doesn't mean happily ever after. It opens a whole new can of worms.

And honestly? Sometimes the characters having two equal choices and choosing the bad, lethal choice is what makes the story that much more heart wrenching, because they were so close to that happy ending, and it was their lack of godly perspective and their mortal limitations which led to their tragic end. That's not a bad thing!

If every character made every proper choice and had no flaws which would impair their decision making, it would lead to a boring story. It would also be jarring within the context of the story and separate the characters from their own universe, elevate them above the narrative instead of allowing them to flourish or wilt within it. It's more fun to dissect what led to those choices than to just say, "Well I would have just done this!"

[nebraska-is-a-myth]

Abuse in 'Runaway Max': A Stranger Things criticism

One thing I know to keep in mind is that the book is told from Max’s perspective, so it's her eyes we experience the world from, and her opinions that guide us through the story. For that we have to value her as a somewhat unreliable narrator, considering she is thirteen at the time and dosnt understand certain things.

A quick timeline to keep in mind because the book handles time very messily:

Billy has just turned 17 by the time Max and Billy first meet.

After Halloween in season 2, Max says she’s known Billy for 7 months, which takes us back to early May.

They move in together three weeks after the wedding in late June, meaning Max and Billy have lived together for a total of 5 months by the time they get to Hawkins.

Neil confiscates Billy's car keys for two months in June, so I’ve taken an educated guess that Max first witnesses Neil's abuse somewhere around august, then in September/October Billy breaks Max’s friends arm, leaving for Hawkins late October.

Now onto the deep dive:

In 'Runaway Max', we learn about the terrible Hargrove family dynamic, and how the Mayfield's learn to navigate that. Max gets a very graphic front row seat of Billy's abuse in chapter 10, and during that chapter Max responds to that situation as any 13 year old would, scared and confused. Despite this however, Billy's image doesn't change in Max’s mind. She has no visible compassion for Billy at any point of the book except from this chapter, and after that she states that she’s actively trying not to care about “his stupid life and his cruel dad”. 

From a writing standpoint, choosing this to be a part of Max’s character takes away from her complex experiences in an abusive household. Yes Max is a hardened character, but not exploring these difficult topics of disliking Billy while also feeling sorry for him makes her feel like just another pawn for the audience to make them dislike Billy. The writers could have made the step-siblings dynamic much more interesting to have them navigate this terrifying experience together. But I understand the duffers just wanted another one dimensional antagonist for season 2.

"I'd watched the Hargroves in action. Neil standing over billy with the belt - calling me a stupid little girl - making it clear that he thought I was weak and pointless. Knowing Neil believed that still wasnt as bad as the way Billy had hated me for trying to help him"

I have mixed feelings about this. I feel this description Max gives dutiful to anyone going through that situation, that they would feel disheartened by someone rejecting their help, and verbally berating them for it. However, it’s vitally important to understand the context of Why Billy reacts to Max this way.

During the assault on Billy that Max witnesses, Max calls out and interrupts Neil, trying to diffuse the situation. Neil responds not to Max, but to Billy “Is this the son I raised? A worthless loser who needs a little girl to fight his battles for him?” And then strikes billy again. 

Max assumes this to be an attack on her, however that's not what's happening at all. Neil is using Max against Billy. He takes Max’s intervention as a sign of Billy's own weakness, a softness. “Any hint of softness and he would never let me forget” In a way Billy had been trying to teach Max to harden herself so that Neil couldn't find anything to target her for, Billy had been making her more likeable for Neil. And now this softness that Max is showing for Billy, by standing up for him, is getting him punished. It’s been implied before that this was the case, but now we are seeing it explicitly that Billy is being punished for Max’s actions. This chain reaction forces Billy into a position where he cannot be on Maxes side, he cannot be friends with Max, because siding with anyone other than his father equals punishment.

After Neil leaves, we circle back round to the sentence “Sometimes Billy acted like we were in on some big, crucial secret together / like we were in some sort of secret club together - like we could be on the same team” Billy had been trying to tell her from the beginning, they were both members of a club trying to navigate life with Neil Hargrove, bonded by shared experience. They were supposed to be on the same team too, victims of Neil, but Neil has made that impossible by using Max against Billy. “I could see all the ways he hated me” Neil isolates one from the other, Billy resents Max for getting him hurt, and Max resents Billy for rejecting her.

During most of the sections of the book that happen in Hawkins, Max continues to call Billy a “Monster”. However, never Neil. It’s not untrue that Billy has a mean streak, he can be cruel and heartless, most notably when he breaks the arm of one of Max’s friends. The only time this level of violence is seen in Hawkins is during the fight with Steve.

Both of these big outbursts of rage are built up by attacks from Neil. Note: Billy is still an asshole, these are not excuses for his actions only explanations.

Yes, there are two occasions in which Billy grabs hold of Max’s arm, but there is an argument to be made that this is just normal sibling behaviour. Have you never pushed or shoved your sibling before, or been on the receiving end of that physicality. It’s not always pleasant, but it’s not uncommon for siblings to get physical during disagreements. Max is also only distressed by this on the first occasion, “He caught me by the arm, and it wasn't the first time he’s ever touched me, but other times had always been to push me out of the way in the kitchen or flick me on the end of my nose. This time, his fingers closed hard around my elbow” - however the second and last time goes like this “He reached out fast and caught me by the wrist”. Those are the only times Billy is ever physical with Max.

Despite this, Billy is still the monster. “Billy was the closest thing to one that I had ever known - this was what it meant to live with the monster.” Monster singular. Billy is the most terrible thing living in the Hargrove home, not the man who beats his son.

Personally I find something off putting with Max ranking Billy as a worse monster than Neil. During the night at the byers she says "I understood now that Neil was in his head, and that meant he was just as dangerous as his father. Worse because Neil was cruel and frightening but he cared how things looked on the outside. Billy was crazy" Max isn't stupid, she knows Neil is a bad person, and maybe from Maxes point of view Billy is worse than Neil because Neil hasn't ever physically hurt her. But from a writer's point of view, to say that the victim is worse than the abuser? That is both dangerous and honestly disgusting. To call Billy crazy, and insinuate that he’s acting like a ‘bad victim’ because he doesn't pretend that everything is normal is so hurtful to victims of abuse who see themselves in Billy. 

Continuing this thought, Max then goes on to compare Billy to a recently possessed Will. Which, first off, comparing abuse is never okay. But what Max says is almost worse, "Will had turned into something terrible and frightening, but even with the mind flayer working through him, he was trying not to let it. He'd almost gotten us killed, but you couldn't blame him because he didn't ask for this. He was trying so hard to stop it" Is the author trying to say that Billy should try harder to not let the abuse he has been experiencing at the hands of his father since before he was ten, affect him? Because if Brenna Yovanoff is using Will as a ‘good’ example of a victim of parental abuse, and using him to discount Billy's own experiences, then I’m sorry but who let this book go to print?

Obviously as a character Max choosing this comparison means very little to her because she doesn't know about Lonnie, but the writers do. Comparing Billy to will is a choice.

Billy and will have both experienced abuse from their fathers. Will is on one side of the spectrum of victims, quiet, timid and apologetic. Billy is on the opposite end of that spectrum, his experiences have hardened him, made him angry about what's happening to him. Billy isn't quiet, he’s an asshole and he has issues with authority, but the one thing that sets Billy and Will apart is the fact that Billy is still experiencing that abuse.

Will is a survivor, Billy isn't.

To imply that "you can't blame Will because he didn't ask for it", but it’s okay to blame Billy, does that mean we are supposed to think Billy is asking for it?

There are choices writers make in the information they reveal to their readers, the phrasing that is used and the comparisons they make. It speaks volumes that while Will is praised for his experiences and bravery with his dad, Billy is called a monster for acting out because of those same experiences.

I mean, tell me you're a writer who doesn't understand the complex reactions to abuse without telling me you only care about “good” reactions to abuse.

[icycove]

The culture, especially the media, around relationships with others makes people feel like they aren't allowed to have deep relationships with other people who aren't inherently going to be seen or become romantic. unless you claim quite loudly that this other person is like family to you, people are going to read into your close relationships because it's all they are bombarded with and allowed to have.

Some people are terrified of being seen as gay for whatever personal reason they may have (whether or not they actually are) and are getting deprived of a vital support system that isn't based on one person you can be close with and then family. People will side-eye you or suggest it, and sometimes it can be confusing to recognize which it is you're actually feeling for someone. It makes romantic rejection seem more horrible because to some people, friendship is lesser and weaker, and just the designation for people they aren't interested in. It is devalued by constantly being overrun time and time again in media: two lifelong friends get together, or they get into a love triangle to be forgotten and belittled once the actual love interest is introduced.

A group of friends with girls and guys MUST have them getting together by the end or otherwise, it's not as powerful. Regardless of if they would naturally want to, and that's just speaking about characters, not real people with far more depth and feelings. They "deserve" each other romantically for it to be a satisfying good end for the audience's reinforced expectations at the end of nearly every movie, book, or show. And due to the lack of representation of all sorts of relationships, you'll have people shipping friends together. While there is nothing wrong with the basis of that (wanting to try "what ifs" or just trying to see how different things would be if X and Z end up together), it shows a clear problem with the lack of value in philia in general. Or the reality of queer people also being able to have platonic or queerplatonic relationships: it's just that due to the lack of previous representation for centuries, it feels like a slight to exclude that part of their identity. Do you know how you fix that? Having more than one queer person in your media and showing them get to have all types of relationships, romantic and platonic and all the nuanced varieties. Not by just having a token queer person. This is the token woman [who has to end up with the MC and has no personality outside of that] trope all over again.

Romance is a beautiful thing that can add to your story or just a fun-to-explore aspect, not that media these days will do anything but show you the establishment of it and then try to ruin it in a sequel/consequence episodes-- it's like writers rarely know how to write a healthy, untroubled established relationship in an interesting way, but that is a whole other issue.

All that to say Romance isn't the only type of valuable love, nor is it the objective "best" outcome. And people shouldn't have to be afraid to want to be close with their friends because of society's expectations and scrutiny. You deserve more support than just the push for nuclear families. You don't have to lose friends in the name of romance.

[lynxindisguise]

hi! 🧐 +🦅

also might i add another question that wasn’t in the ask game? i was wondering what “makes” a character for you. since you write the same characters over and over in so many different, unique ways but they still feel very themselves - like the right mix of canon+your take on them.

i hope these aren’t too much! i love your writing and i’m a little nerd haha

(sending this on anon but my dead gay wizards sideblog is @alltheyoungmoons!)

hello! oh that's so lovely, thank you!!

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

it really depends on what I'm writing! my research for my most recent chapter of everywhere everything involved re-reading my own fic and watching videos of baby bears lol. sometimes there's very little research, sometimes I'm typing a lot of unhinged questions into google, sometimes I'm spending hours on youtube finding the right chess game to copy into a fic. the most common thing I check is probably dates, full moons, star charts, etc.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

this also depends on the fic, but generally I start with the basic concept, establish the world/character relationships and then discover things as I go. or I might have certain scenes in mind but not necessarily know how I end up there. it feels a lot more organic for me to write without a full outline.

What “makes” a character for you?

this is really difficult to put my finger on actually! I don't think too much about it when I'm writing—it really is just vibes, and then adjusting those vibes to fit the world.

but I will say I think fandom gets stuck a lot on arguing over who has which specific, black-and-white traits when characters to me are a lot more about how they interact with the world. do they internalise or externalise things? how much information do they need before they act? how open are they to new perspectives/ideas? whose opinions do they value most? (their own, friends, family, society, etc.)

fic writer asks

[randomnameless]

The phrase “we have been aware of the high levels of competency from KT's writers, especially with their work for 3H” is worrying; i'm not going to shit-talk them just for thinking that 3H has a good story, especially when someone's standards for what makes a story good or not is subjective and could be different from ours, but KT's story-telling skills are never going to improve if people keep only telling them that Three Houses' deeply-flawed story was actually a narrative masterpiece, instead of a self-contradicting mess with plot points it introduces solely as gotchas and has no intention of ever following up on in any meaningful way, characters getting assassinated left and right to try and argue that female Ashnard might actually be right and not so different from them in terms of morality and goals (while they're in the middle of fighting for their lives and watching their friends die in battle because she decided to invade their home unprovoked and solely for a landgrab), and an over-powered villain group that should have ended the story long before it even started because the writers decided to give them a stockpile of magic nukes they can launch at anywhere in the world, which was also introduced solely for shock value and without them realizing how much of the story is ruined by making it so that the villains who want to kill everyone and take over the world can just nuke anyone they want (that isn't inside Garreg Mach when they launch it) with no consequences.

I just don't like what it means for the future of FE stories if the worst story in the series keeps getting praised as one of the best, even by separate developers, is all.

Wait and see anon!

For what it's worth, while Engage's sales are apparently not as stellar as Houses in the same timeframe (like House after month 1 and Engage after month 1?), Nopes totally crashed.

Amazon isn't the only market in the world, but in some places in the world (tfw not for amazon.fr) Nopes is now sold at around 15 bucks, which is ridiculous considering older games released on consoles still being in circulation are more expensive than this thing that is barely 1 year old(even the first FEW?).

Also, Engage was supposed to have been released earlier but Covid and Houses being released later than planned meant it was delayed, but Engage was supposed to be Fodlan's antithesis, at least writing wise - you'd think IS would have tried to retrofit more Fodlan themes (maybe more uwu maybe some villains aren't BaD and earl grey because they luf u) but they didn't.

Imo, fwiw, while KT apparently loved how Fodlan was received, IS is aghast and doesn't want to touch it within a 10 meters radius, only if it means selling units in FEH and even there, they sometimes retcon Fodlan units (hello F!Billy/Sothis) or challenge them in various FB (Brave!Supreme Leader, but also in the most recent one, Sylvain harping on his Crust being BaD...) clearly showing how they don't really want to follow KT's direction regarding those units - at times, it's almost as if the CoS receives more development in Heroes than in both Fodlan games!

So I'd like to see what IS has in store for the next FE games (or the next non remake FE game), even if in my opinion, given how Heroes has to retcon/finish the writing (Mercedes reveals more about her Adrestian family in FEH than in two of her games!) for characters just to sell them in the gacha game ffs, speaks volumes on what they think of Fodlan's writing.

On top of that, FE16 was the first game where people received surveys/mails from Nintendo/IS asking them if they understood the game... - so despite Fodlan selling well (better than expected?), imo it's clear the writing isn't to praise, at least for IS, and they don't want anything to do with it (Nopes' DLC was scrapped, when shiny!Rhea's sprite was datamined, so either they made an useless sprite, either this sprite might have been used in a future DLC?)

They can still butcher a future remake (plz no jugdral) by adding pointless supports between units and trying to uwu more than needed the red emperor - or add an OC waifu du jour who will sell merchs and try to uwu her if she is on the side of the red emperor - but I feel like we will see where they will go with a brand new game (since Heroes's writing is... as consistent as a fog and basically circles around "women sad'n'lonely*, men evyl", female playable OC simps after the avatar and is useless in the resolution of the plot because Alfonse will finally find a mc guffin way to defeat the villain of the year).

*i truly hope Vero isn't any indication to what the writing of the future games will be, like heavy retcons from her first apparition to "i was brainwashed and akshually everyone supports me from my home even if i send them to death against askr because the voice in my head told me to do it" because that'd suck, but vero is a young woman, thus she could be monetised for alts, figurines and even DLC content in a main game!

[dirty-bosmer]

~Writerly Thumbprint Challenge~

Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. what are five (or more!) narrative elements, themes, topics or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?

Thanks to @thana-topsy for the tag! I was admittedly a bit intimidated by this one, but it was so illuminating. It's been a long time since I've taken a step back to evaluate my stories through a critical lens, and sometimes I forget what I've written 😅 I know a lot of people have already been tagged, so I'm tagging: @wispstalk @atypicalacademic @thequeenofthewinter @chennnington @rainpebble3 @justafoxhound @dumpsterhipster @skyrim-forever @sylvienerevarine @gilgamish @burningsilence

I'm a baby writer. Only two fics, both TES. Here is what I came up with:

1. An Inner Darkness, A Downward Spiral — Most of my OCs have a secret (sometimes not-so-secret) viscousness that's always simmering under the surface, threatening to ooze free. They're not necessarily mean, but they're not good people. They may not be evil, but they all do very bad things. Why? Because 1) thieving and necromancing and murder for hire are kinda fun in-game, and if our Hero is doing all of that while saving the world, it needs to be explained with something other than whimsy lol, and 2) I like the challenge of writing morally grey characters who are flawed and fucked up and unforgivable while simultaneously asking readers to root for them. I've found it quite difficult to make them likable and deserving of sympathy while not overlooking their wrongdoings or writing them inconsistently, but it makes for such interesting conflict.

2. The Pursuit of Knowledge — My protagonists and their close friends are mage-nerds because I am a nerd, and perhaps this is a case of it's easier to write what's close to home?? I love University settings and the looseness of the elder scrolls magic system. There is so much great lore to work with but in many cases it's not so rigid that you can't also twist it and grow it and shape it to your own desire. Knowledge is power as the Telvanni say. Most of my protagonists are not physically strong and rely on cunning and/or magic for defense. In that way, knowledge is the primary avenue by which they assert control over the world around them, which facilitates a lot of conversations surrounding the ethics of magical use cause well... given the way my OCs use it, it deserves to be questioned.

3. Identity — How does a character perceive themselves? How does this compare to what is perceived by those around them? I love exploring the discrepancies between these two and often write arcs that involve a character breaking through the facades they've constructed to conform to what is expected of them and/or shield themselves from the discomfort they feel in their own skin.

4. Loneliness, A Desperate Need for Love — I write characters who have been placed or place themselves on the fringes of society, yet long for acceptance and a place to belong. This leads to a lot of unhealthy and messy relationships, both familial, platonic, and romantic. Often times they hurt people they care about. They let others hurt them too, but it's okay as long as they're not alone, right? It's angst all the way to the top baby.

5. Romance is not the End Goal — Yeah, my work features ships. I'd say it's actually a huge part of the stories, but mostly because the relationships my characters are involved in "fail." People break up or they die tragically. They become incompatible and move on (sometimes lol). Maybe they endure, but romantic love is not the only kind nor the highest valued, and most importantly, I want to write characters whose self-worth is not tied up in whether they're loved by someone else.

Bonus is Awkard Bisexual Losers because all my OCs are cringe-fail and have no game.

This was such an informative exercise! I encourage everyone to take a stab at it. Please tag me if you do. I'm so excited to see what you come up with :))

[jakerandall]

❝ NOTHING BUT THE OPEN ROAD AND THE NEVER ENDING WHY ❞

STATS:

Name: Jacob Randall

Age: 40

Face Claim: Chris Evans

Occupation: Former crime journalist & novelist

Neighborhood: Wrightsville Beach

Gender & Preferred Pronouns: Cis male & he/him

BIOGRAPHY:

trigger warnings: heart condition, death

Born and raised in Wilmington, Jacob Randall is the oldest of four children created by a construction worker turned developer and a dental assistant. They were a large family yet a genuinely happy and well-balanced family. His biggest obsession as a child was basketball. Anywhere and anytime he could play, Jacob had a ball in his hands and dreamed of one day being in the NBA. If at all possible he wouldn’t miss a game on television, and often got in trouble for dribbling and tossing that ball around the house. He played for the YMCA, youth leagues, and his schools. Which eventually earned him a scholarship to the University of Arizona.

Aside from basketball, the biggest dream he had was to be a writer. It was something he shared with his grandfather, his love for books and reading. They’d talk about all the books they read, sometimes even read the same so they could compare notes, and his grandfather had once told Jacob that he wished he had gotten into the publishing business. It inspired Jacob once in university, he studied english and creative writing, played basketball and picked up beach volleyball, and somewhere along the way he ended up taking a bit of a detour. In needing to fulfill credits and requirements, Jacob took a journalism class and his writing got him noticed. He ended up really loving the writing style and found that he had natural instincts as an investigator.

Once he graduated Jacob had a few daily newspapers seeking him out but he chose the The Charlotte Observer to return home and began working the crime desk. It turned into a bit of an obsession for Jacob. The job, he worked non-stop, covering the biggest crime stories in the state, and while he built up a reputation and eventually won himself a Pulitzer Prize it all came at the sacrifice of his family and friendships. Every single relationship he tried had failed due to him not being present enough. Jacob always put the work and writing first, he believed he was doing important work and was going to make a difference, and had always been very proud, but it eventually took too big of a toll.

When his mother was diagnosed with a heart condition, Jacob wrongly assumed he had more time than he did and not only missed out on most of her suffering and being there to be a support for her, he hadn’t been there when she passed away. Instead, Jacob had been off investigating a story. The story turned out to be one of the biggest of his career, and maybe also the most dangerous. One that challenged him as a human being; his values, what he stood for, who has the right of justice.

A woman had reached out to him, telling him about something that had been happening on cruise ships. It was something she had done her own little investigation into because her friend went missing at sea. Digging into it he found that there was a history to this, something that has never really been made hugely public and garnered enough press attention. So Jacob went on the investigative hunt trying to find out what happened with this missing woman and found out there was one before her and almost a year to the date. In the end, he uncovered the truth and found the person responsible, but committed his own crime in the process. Something Jacob now has to live with himself over.

After that and the passing of his mother, he kept the promise he had made to himself and quit investigative journalism. He’d always intended and had meant to be a novelist. Since then he’s written five New York Time’s Best Sellers. Using some of his experiences as a crime reporter for inspiration.

[seydaseven]

❝ NOTHING BUT THE OPEN ROAD AND THE NEVER ENDING WHY ❞

STATS:

Name: Jacob Randall

Age: 40

Face Claim: Chris Evans

Occupation: Former crime journalist & novelist

Neighborhood: Wrightsville Beach

Gender & Preferred Pronouns: Cis male & he/him

BIOGRAPHY:

trigger warnings: heart condition, death

Born and raised in Wilmington, Jacob Randall is the oldest of four children created by a construction worker turned developer and a dental assistant. They were a large family yet a genuinely happy and well-balanced family. His biggest obsession as a child was basketball. Anywhere and anytime he could play, Jacob had a ball in his hands and dreamed of one day being in the NBA. If at all possible he wouldn’t miss a game on television, and often got in trouble for dribbling and tossing that ball around the house. He played for the YMCA, youth leagues, and his schools. Which eventually earned him a scholarship to the University of Arizona.

Aside from basketball, the biggest dream he had was to be a writer. It was something he shared with his grandfather, his love for books and reading. They’d talk about all the books they read, sometimes even read the same so they could compare notes, and his grandfather had once told Jacob that he wished he had gotten into the publishing business. It inspired Jacob once in university, he studied english and creative writing, played basketball and picked up beach volleyball, and somewhere along the way he ended up taking a bit of a detour. In needing to fulfill credits and requirements, Jacob took a journalism class and his writing got him noticed. He ended up really loving the writing style and found that he had natural instincts as an investigator.

Once he graduated Jacob had a few daily newspapers seeking him out but he chose the The Charlotte Observer to return home and began working the crime desk. It turned into a bit of an obsession for Jacob. The job, he worked non-stop, covering the biggest crime stories in the state, and while he built up a reputation and eventually won himself a Pulitzer Prize it all came at the sacrifice of his family and friendships. Every single relationship he tried had failed due to him not being present enough. Jacob always put the work and writing first, he believed he was doing important work and was going to make a difference, and had always been very proud, but it eventually took too big of a toll.

When his mother was diagnosed with a heart condition, Jacob wrongly assumed he had more time than he did and not only missed out on most of her suffering and being there to be a support for her, he hadn’t been there when she passed away. Instead, Jacob had been off investigating a story. The story turned out to be one of the biggest of his career, and maybe also the most dangerous. One that challenged him as a human being; his values, what he stood for, who has the right of justice.

A woman had reached out to him, telling him about something that had been happening on cruise ships. It was something she had done her own little investigation into because her friend went missing at sea. Digging into it he found that there was a history to this, something that has never really been made hugely public and garnered enough press attention. So Jacob went on the investigative hunt trying to find out what happened with this missing woman and found out there was one before her and almost a year to the date. In the end, he uncovered the truth and found the person responsible, but committed his own crime in the process. Something Jacob now has to live with himself over.

After that and the passing of his mother, he kept the promise he had made to himself and quit investigative journalism. He’d always intended and had meant to be a novelist. Since then he’s written five New York Time’s Best Sellers. Using some of his experiences as a crime reporter for inspiration.

[nightcolorz]

Do you think the show will describe Lestat and Gabrielle relationship as romantic? And how would you prefer their relationship to be portrayed?

I absolutely do think that they’re going to go the incest route 😭😭 Just based on how Rollin Jones talks about Gabrielle and Lestat’s relationship and the way that they changed Antoine to more resemble Gabrielle over Nicolas, I think they’re going to go for it all the way. I actually get the impression that Rollin is rlly excited about that aspect of their relationship which is, well, interesting? Lol.

But honestly? I think it would be kind of weak if they didn’t address or include it at all. I v much support their choice to take away the romance between Louis and Claudia bcus I didn’t think that was necessary in the book and didn’t find that Anne Rice did a good job writing it in a way that would well, mean smth. The only point to it was “well Claudia’s an adult now” which is expressed in better ways through out the book anyway, so it just felt like uncomfortable shock value for the sake of it. I think the show handled their relationship really well, they removed the romance but still retained some of the original gross out factor by having that “which one of you are going to fuck me?” Line and making a point of reminding us that bcus of their nature as vampires Claudia’s familial role to Louis is ever changing depending on what she feels like she wants it to be. It’s off putting and uncomfortable, having these implications along with the daughter to sister thing, while being interesting and thematically satisfying, which the romance in the book wasn’t. One change I actually like that the show made! 

I believe that things like incest have a place in fiction, but not necessarily a good one if they’re just thrown in bcus “oh but taboo relationships are a genre convention in gothic lit!” With no logic or thought put in beyond that. Anne Rice did a slightly better job with the incest in tvl than in iwtv, but it still felt lackluster and out of nowhere to me. She seems to just enjoy throwing uncomfortable topics into her books bcus she can, which is disappointing bcus a lot of the time u can see the potential that it could’ve had. I think Gabrielle and Lestat’s relationship is conceptually very interesting, incest and all. Lestat and Gabrielle’s strange line crossing Mother and son relationship is rooted in a lot of things. The way vampirism demolishes traditional familial dynamics and changes self perception, perception of sex and romance, and societal expectations in general. Gabrielle’s envy for Lestat and unhealthy desire to live through him sometimes, Lestat’s trauma inflicted desperation to be nurtured and mentored with no one to do that for him, and so on. 

The strangeness of their dynamic in summarization comes from Gabrielle’s desire to be a companion, or a brother, or a friend to Lestat once she’s a vampire and Lestat’s conflicting desire to be nurtured and mothered by Gabrielle as his son. Lestat wants an eternal mommy and Gabrielle wants a friend who understands her life experiences, and so they clash. And if they’re gonna have gross incest-y kisses about it to make this boundary crossing come across in interesting ways? Sure I’m cool with that. Anne Rice didn’t do it well in my opinion, since she only explored these concepts minimally, but if it’s done well I can see it being great. I think incest as a thematic tool can absolutely work, but if it’s just there to be there and say nothing, then I want nothing to do with it.

In conclusion if Rollin and the amc writers handle the tvl incest in a way that’s similarly thoughtful to their handling of Claudia and Louis’s dynamic then Im looking forward to seeing it, lol. But if they just throw it in for shock value, like they have done with other topics and scenes, then eughhh get it away from me. And I don’t think I’d be satisfied if they did away with the incest vibes completely for the sake of sanitation, but I doubt they’ll do that anyway.

Thank you for sending the ask aaaaaaa!! I have so many iwtv and tvc thoughts I’m blushing and kicking my feet over how ppl wanna hear them! This is smth I’ve thought a lot about unfortunately lol

[sirdust]

alright friends and followers who haven't yet smashed that unsubscribe button. since the new episode jingled the bells on its jester cap in such a way that i sat pleased upon my guilded throne, i am going to offer up some proper thoughts/analysis for the first time in Like A Year. as a treat, for all of us.

i haven't been posting about new episodes for a few reasons, the main three of which are:

A) on the basis of her much-documented shady (and sometimes queerphobic) character and poor leadership over the past few years, i no longer support vivziepop. (don't argue with me in the replies about this.)

B) i don't support the type of crit culture that has made a home for itself on this website. i think it's toxic, trite, and full of bad faith actors who don't know when to log off.

C) i prefer to spend my time focusing on the things i enjoy. the hellaverse served that purpose for me for a few years, and i wanted to move on when that was no longer the case.

all that being said, i feel much more positively about the latest episode. some of these positive qualities are still unfortunately marred by the overall dip in writing quality and number of contrivances that have become endemic to the second season, but my special interests have only rarely gone away for good. helluva's faded as an interest, but i still enjoy talking about it privately, and i figure i might as well use this blog once in a while, since it's still up.

the main issue that has plagued s2 up until this point is that nothing has felt necessary or consequential. without going into great individual detail, the previous three episodes have failed to build upon what's been previously established, and have instead continued adding new elements, or delivering poignant scenes with a total lack of proper setup. the circus was unnecessary and, in fact, hurt the show and its characters by establishing that their values and goals are the same now as they were at a very young age (with the exception of fizz). seeing stars was badly paced (even for this show) and inconsistent with what had come before in terms of character writing and development. exes and oohs was a worldbuilding nightmare that exploited images and scenes of physical abuse for cheap, unearned drama, along with adding yet another recurring villain to the show's underutilized rogue's gallery. none of these episodes were even centered around the show's premise, but instead of deviating from the story engine to meaningfully develop the story or raise the stakes, the storylines have all felt tangential, and this has lent them a fanfiction-esque quality.

western energy gives me a glimmer of hope that things could get back on track, because even though it also deviates from the central premise of the show, it demonstrates a return to the show's original b-plot of goetia family drama. although it introduces new elements to the storyline, it does so in a way that pays off what came before and raises the stakes. in the harvest moon festival, striker said he would finish the job on stolas the next time he saw him, and if it hadn't been for the phone call from stella, striker would have successfully killed stolas. we see stolas use abilities that have been previously established such as his demon form and paralyzing gaze to try and fight back rather than being forgotten about for the sake of plot convenience. this makes the episode feel like a proper continuation of s1 and a meaningful moment of forward motion for the story, rather than an episode based only on an idea the writers had and thought would be cool.

striker is a particularly good example of what this episode does right, because even if his escape at the end feels cheap (and was possibly changed later in the process after the role was recast), the episode uses the tools at its disposal to develop striker's character and add a new level of mystery and intrigue that is directly tied to the show's central theme of class tension. class tension was OOZING from every episode of s1. it has been almost completely ignored in s2. the return to the development of characters around this central theme is fundamentally necessary in order to maintain a sense of identity for the show, because even if there isn't a serialized plot, there needs to be something for the show to be ABOUT. even though the b-plot with loona felt like a complete contrivance, its inclusion at least supports this theme by demonstrating how difficult it is for lower-class demons to access the resources that they need to survive. it also allows for the ending sequence to take place in the way it does, and that sequence, as a moment, was actually very effective.

i've been typing for a while and am starting to get sick of it, so i'll wrap it up.

essentially, i have more hope for the show's writing now than i've had in nearly a year, but it needs to continue following through on the basics of storytelling (such as setup and payoff) in order to meaningfully recover. i still worry that the show is only capable of compelling moments over a coherent full picture, but this episode does seem to indicate that the show hasn't lost its way entirely. while this blog won't return to its former level of activity, i'll be keeping an eye on things, and if i have more thoughts in the future, i'll offer them up here.

now take this small cowboy with you for good luck on your travels, and enjoy his radiating miasma of not-yet-wasted potential.

[wizardsix]

Honestly, even the dialogue where you can say to Astarion "you need a friend not a lover" is apparently breaking up with him (didn't know that at first!) But I was just thinking it was more like "hey I will be there as a friend for you first and a lover second." The inability to have either a) the level of friendship be the same/have the same scenes/weight as a romance or b) have the romance feature being FRIENDS more prominently, is tragic

yeah i was surprised at the romance exclusive stuff for astarion... i didn't like that we can only tell him he needs a friend more than a lover After sleeping w him (from what ive been told), like I feel that should be something we say early on as a way to reject his advances but still letting him know we care.

it's frustrating bc for example, you can still have a nice moment with gale under the stars as his friend, or after meeting tara in act 3 he'll still invite you over for dinner(and more recently the weave scene was made platonic), but then with star you can't even support or defend him as fiercely as you would if you romanced him... i mean, he literally just?? disappears at the end of the game?? so, yeah, some of the friendships are lacking compared to the romances.

it's extremely tragic as you said, and it's honestly my biggest criticism with the game. im all for romance, like I adore that shit, gales romance has rewired my brain, BUT found family also hits every fucking time and i need more writers to write it properly. why can't we hug or hold astarions hand platonically? why can't we dance with wyll, or have a drink with shadow without having to painfully turn them down?

friendships have just as much value as romance does, sometimes it's more needed than romance, but I know so many people would've complained if astarion wasn't romanceable, so we have... what we have. it sucks, I know that very well, but I guess that's what the little imaginary people in our brains are for.

[philadelphia-hq]

“Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to be possible and truth doesn't.”

JORDAN WALLACE

Age: 34 Gender and pronouns: Male, He/Him Occupation: Former crime reporter & novelist Neighborhood: Manayunk

BIOGRAPHY

tw: heart disease, death

Born and raised in Philadelphia, Jordan Wallace is the oldest of four children created by a construction worker turned developer and a dental assistant. They were a large family yet a generally happy and well-balanced family. His biggest obsession as a child was basketball. Anywhere and anytime he could play, Jordan had a ball in his hands and dreamed of one day being in the NBA. If at all possible he wouldn’t miss a game on television, and often got in trouble for dribbling and tossing that ball around the house. He played for the YMCA, youth leagues, and his schools. Which eventually earned him a scholarship to the University of Washington.

Aside from basketball, the biggest dream he had was to be a writer. It was something he shared with his grandfather, his love for books and reading. They’d talk about all the books they read, sometimes even read the same so they could compare notes, and his grandfather had once told Jordan that he wished he had gotten into the publishing business. It inspired Jordan once in university, he studied english and creative writing, played basketball and picked up beach volleyball, and somewhere along the way he ended up taking a bit of a detour. In needing to fulfill credits and requirements, Jordan took a journalism class and his writing got him noticed. He ended up really loving the writing style and found that he had natural instincts as an investigator.

Once he graduated Jordan had a few daily newspapers seeking him out but he chose the The Philadelphia Inquirer to return home and began working the crime desk. It turned into a bit of an obsession for Jordan. The job, he worked non-stop, covering the biggest crime stories in the city, and while he built up a reputation and eventually won himself a Pulitzer Prize it all came at the sacrifice of his family and friendships. Every single relationship he tried had failed due to him not being present enough. Jordan always put the work and writing first, he believed he was doing important work and was going to make a difference, and had always been very proud, but it eventually took too big of a toll.

When his mother was diagnosed with a heart condition, Jordan wrongly assumed he had more time than he did and not only missed out on most of her suffering and being there to be a support for her, he hadn’t been there when she passed away. Instead, Jordan had been off investigating a story. The story turned out to be one of the biggest of his career, and maybe also the most dangerous. One that challenged him as a human being; his values, what he stood for, who has the right of justice.

A woman had reached out to him, telling him about something that had been happening on cruise ships. It was something she had done her own little investigation into because her friend went missing at sea. Digging into it he found that there was a history to this, something that has never really been made hugely public and garnered enough press attention. So Jordan went on the investigative hunt trying to find out what happened with this missing woman and found out there was one before her and almost a year to the date. In the end, he uncovered the truth and found the person responsible, but committed his own crime in the process. Something Jordan now has to live with himself over.

After that and the passing of his mother, he kept the promise he had made to himself and quit investigative journalism. He’d always intended and had meant to be a novelist. Since then he’s written five New York Time’s Best Sellers. Using some of his experiences as a crime reporter for inspiration.

JORDAN WALLACE has the face claim of KENDRICK SAMPSON and is played by CHANDLER.

[spanishrose2002]

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I decided to put these two together, because they’re closely related.  If comments and feedback are positive, then I feel the same way that I think that everyone feels about them.  I think they’re wonderful!  They are truly the lifeblood of writing and sharing, because they make you feel that you’re not wasting your time by polishing your stories and shipping them out to the public.  They create inspiration and motivation.  They create connectivity and community.  They’re wonderful and I value them immensely.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

My previous comment will likely lead you to ask this question, right?  But what about the negative things...?  What about “constructive criticism”?   Let me tell you a few things about criticism that I’ve learned over many, many years. There is a saying that you shouldn’t accept criticism from anyone you wouldn’t go to for advice, and that’s very true.  Another thing to keep in mind is that constructive criticism is only constructive if it’s desired and framed in a truly constructive manner. Most of the people who claim to offer constructive criticism don’t actually know what that is or how to properly offer it.  Also, if their constructive criticism is not wanted, it does nothing constructive at all. People should also keep in mind that some people (I don’t say all) who want to offer “constructive criticism” are coming from a few negative places.  Sometimes, they are simply other writers in fandom who like to tear down others because they view them as a “threat.”  This happens when you have writers who view readers’ attention like pie.  It happens more than you think, and some are quite sneaky about it.  They’ll use the guise of so-called constructive criticism to try to stifle other writers, or get them to stop writing entirely, so that they can have more of the imaginary pie that they are afraid they aren’t getting.  (Spoiler alert, the pie doesn’t actually exist.) Sometimes, this so-called constructive criticism comes from people who are jealous, for various reasons, of the writer and want to tear them down, much like the pie-writers mentioned above, to try to make themselves feel better.  Framing nastiness as “just trying to be helpful” gives them something to hide behind. Sometimes, the so-called constructive criticism is just a laundry list of likes/dislikes and opinions of a certain reader.  This is criticism, perhaps, but it’s not necessarily constructive. So--how do I feel about it?  I don’t really value it too much unless I truly know the source, trust them, and care about what they have to say.  They will reach out to me privately, though, because they understand that criticism really shouldn’t be given publicly if you’re really trying to help someone.  We will have a dialogue, because that’s important for true constructive criticism.  We’re not famous artists getting paid megabucks for what we do, and you’re not art critics whose reputations depend on your feedback to those who would be rising stars in a field.   I definitely don’t take criticism from those who send it under anonymous names, accounts, etc.  If you care so much about my writing that you want to reach out and help me grow, then you’ll sign your name to what you say and work to establish a relationship with me that goes in both directions.  You won’t hurl insults at me from behind a wall of anonymity.   I delete this kinds of comments, and I don’t feel ashamed about it. I write fanfiction because I enjoy it.  As someone said (and I thought it was hilarious), I do all of this for the bargain price of “Free 99.”  I have a full life, a full-time job, a family, friends, hobbies, and a world of responsibilities.  Fanfic is what I do to unwind.   Also, guys, gals, ghouls, and everyone else, please remember that things like this (dramatized, but really not far off from some of the anonymous comments and dissertations I delete from my fics and accounts with frequency, including one just this morning) are not constructive criticism. “What I just don’t understand is why they can’t find a Tylenol when there is bound to be a store nearby and I researched this location and there was a Walgreens at this location and a company that produces Tylenol at this location, so it really wouldn’t be realistic for them not to be able to find something when, clearly, there was something to be found, and you didn’t address that thoroughly, but there was one time 45 chapters ago that they did have Tylenol and you didn’t address that, either.  Frankly, it took me out of the story, and it ruined my whole life, and my tomatoes died because of it.  MY PRECOIUS TOMATOES!  And these are just things I’ve written down for you to consider.  Things to think about.  Because I want to help you and you ruined my whole life and this whole story because of it, so I think you should just know that.  But also of course I love your writing as long as you remember that you are absolutely horrible...hugs and kisses...”

My response would be:

They couldn’t find Tylenol because that’s what I needed to happen for the plot, Brenda.  This is fanfiction.  It was written, more than likely, on a Saturday morning, after a hard week of work, while I snarfed Cheetos and coffee for breakfast in my doughnut pajama pants.  It’s for enjoyment.  It’s not that serious.  I made 0 dollars from it, so I’ll be happy to give you a refund for what you paid for it.  Maybe you should take a Tylenol.

Remember that your negativity can really negatively impact someone.  It’s not worth it just to make yourself feel important.  If you want to really feel important, leave a positive comment on a fanfic you love.  That’s it.  Just say something positive.  Do you see a lot of problems?  Sure you do.  The author sees them, too.  I promise you that the author knows they aren’t perfect.  Just say what you love.  Spread that, instead of spreading your negativity.  It’ll be better for everyone.  

[thebuckblogimo]

What kind of soldier might I have been?

January 8, 2025

During the last couple of years I've watched what seems like endless news coverage of bombed out schools and hospitals; bodies being tossed into mass graves; dead children being pulled from rubble; families living in tents; and emaciated babies covered with debris in the arms of distraught mothers--all due to the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine. It takes me back to the time of the Vietnam War, during the late '60s and early '70s, when similar things were happening in Southeast Asia. That was when literally half the guys I grew up with were either drafted or volunteered for military duty.

Back then there were many nights when I lay in bed wondering whether I, too, would eventually be drafted to do battle with "those Viet Congs," as Muhammed Ali once labled North Vietnamese guerrilla forces. As it turned out, Selective Service called me for a physical right after I graduated from college, but I was declared 4-F (unfit for military duty) due to a couple of surgeries I'd had on my knee in high school.

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been had I indeed been drafted into the service, gone to boot camp and sent to fight the enemy in the jungles of Vietnam. What kind of soldier would I have made? What would have been my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty)? Who would my Army buddies have been? How frightened would I have been had I been sent into combat? And if sent, would I have even survived to write the words you see in this space?

Before I try to speculate answers to those questions, I want to give you a glimpse into my 19-year-old mind, circa 1966:

In those days I was a naive, less-than-worldly kid, whose eyes were being opened to many new things--politics, economics, social injustice, psychological behavior, etc. I was amazed by how smart so many people in my dorm and college classes seemed to be. I harbored a goal of making my way through life as a writer of some kind. Also, I put an extraordinarily high premium on the value of my time. I don't think anyone would call me self-centered back then, but I was always asking myself, "How do I benefit from this?" as I navigated through my young years.

I was that way even as a kid.

Whereas many of my neighborhood friends had either Detroit Free Press or Detroit News paper routes, I chose to be the "neighborhood substitute," the kid who pedaled friends' papers when they went on vacation or had family obligations. That way I could make a few extra bucks and still be assured of maximum free time to do pretty much as I wanted to do, which meant playing sports, listening to music on the radio, day dreaming about girls, taking part in juvenile hijinks and watching television.

Even as a college kid I avoided joining clubs, taking part in extra-curricular activities and working part-time jobs so I could have maximum time to do what I wanted to do--study, play intramural sports, and act the fool on the weekends. (If I had to do it all over again I would have tried to write for the student newspaper and worked a part-time job.)

As a 19-year-old college kid, I couldn't imagine taking orders from anyone, 24 hours a day. Mostly because when working summers at my Dad's marble shop, he would scream at me like Bobby Knight for the mistakes I made--like breaking a slab or leaving scratches on sills I had polished. I hated it, absolutely abhorred it when he ran me down in front of workers or my friends who he sometimes paid to haul scrap marble out of old buildings. But I always kept my mouth shut.

With those experiences as a backdrop, I recall wanting no part of a military system that I envisioned depriving me of my personal freedom and being run by people who would be in my face for 24 hours a day.

On the other hand...

I understood that my Dad was in his 20s when he walked into the marble shop (a few years before purchasing it from the owner) and heard President Roosevelt on the radio announce that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. He knew instantly that he would be drafted for military duty. And he was all in. As were virtually all of his beer-drinking buddies. After all, the United States of America had been attacked. From a very young age I knew that my Dad had sacrificed to serve his county. As the war in Vietnam entered the American consciousness, I began to think it may be my responsibility to do the same.

Back to my high school years...

I can recall only one friend who seemed to really understand what was going down in Vietnam on that beautiful June day we graduated in 1965. A year later, however, everybody was aware of what was happening in Southeast Asia as the conflict exploded into a war that would call for hundreds of thousands of young GIs to fight it. Suddenly, many of my closest friends who were working at the Ford Rouge plant; or becoming carpenters, brick layers and electricians; or just trying to figure out what to do with their lives, began being called for military duty. As for me and other of my pals who were attending college, we were classified 2-S by Selective Service (deferred from military service due to studies). Also, we were in "information gathering mode" to determine whether or not the Vietnam War was being fought for legitimate reasons.

It didn't take long for me and most others to determine that the war was a colossal mistake.

My feelings were confirmed during my second year in college when I walked to the MSU Auditorium to hear a talk by Don Riegel, a young Republican U.S. Representative from the Flint area of Michigan. He explained to a packed house that he could not articulate a single reason to justify the loss of 40,000 American soldiers (up to that time) in Vietnam.

Back to my Dad...

He used to tell a story about being aboard a "flying boxcar" over the Bermuda Triangle and how he and his fellow GIs received orders to tie everything down as the plane began to pitch violently in a storm over the North Atlantic. He would later learn that several U.S. planes went down into the ocean that day. My Dad's story was another one of those things I had in the back of my mind, causing me to feel conflicted about whether I should be following in his footsteps.

As I've written before, by the time I graduated from college in December of 1969, my Dad had concluded that the Vietnam War was "bullshit." We were both opposed to it. Yet, did I ever seriously consider dodging the draft by moving to nearby Canada which did not officially participate in the Vietnam War?

No, I did not.

As opposed as I was to the war, I was not about to leave my family, my friends and my dream of starting a career for another country. I decided I would take my chances and remain at home. Then, I promptly received a notice in the mail to report to Fort Wayne in Detroit to take my military physical.

As I mentioned, I flunked it due to a history of surgeries on my knee.

But what if...? What if I had not flunked that physical? What if I had not drawn 298 as my Selective Service lottery number, meaning I would not have been drafted anyway because the government reached its quota of draftees for the year by the time it got to guys with lottery numbers in the 190s.

Had I indeed been drafted, however, I can picture having my head buzzed and shorn of hair on the first day of boot camp. I can envision meeting the physical requirements of a recruit, such as running in combat boots and loaded with gear, or climbing a rope and propelling myself over a barrier. I can also imagine myself flat on my back in my bunk at night, lonely and homesick, fighting back tears over what I was likely to endure for the next couple of years.

But being stationed in a place like Phu Bai, or Quang Tai, or any one of dozens of other South Vietnamese outposts I used to hear my buddies talk about? I mean being hunkered down in a mosquito-infested bunker with an M-16 across one's chest--sweaty, muddy and with rats as big as cats crawling all over the place--well, that's an entirely different story. I mean actually trading fire with the enemy? I have a very, very difficult time envisioning myself actually doing that

And yet, as I have read in books about war and have been told by friends who are veterans, you get through it by doing what you have to do to--while maintaining a burning desire to make it back home--to stay alive.

This past fall I attended the wedding of a friend's son and ran into a pal I hadn't seen for several years. He's a Vietnam vet who was awarded a Purple Heart after taking shrapnel to his leg from a bomb blast during combat. In the states he'd been a boot camp drill instructor. (Interestingly, Heisman Trophy winner Steve Owens had been one of his recruits.)

We got to talking at the wedding and I expressed my doubts to him whether I might have measured up as a soldier had I been drafted into the military. He assured me that I would have done well, that, like everyone else, I would have adapted over time. He contended that as an athletic, competitive and goal-oriented person, I likely would have been a good soldier.

Maybe, maybe not. But I'm certain of this: Other than shooting hoops with buddies during free time at the base, or listening to tunes by Otis Redding with some of the brothers in a tent, I would have hated practically every minute of military duty. And I'm not too proud to admit that I probably would have fought back tears of loneliness more times than just at the end of my first day in boot camp.