#write that halemadge!

[beauisoffline]

prompts!!

I need some prompts for this Ao3 book about Nate and Ben getting into trouble at Yale, so I need prompts you goobers ( ive done the window breaking thing btw )

( REAL OR FAKE ALLOWED!! )

[pub-lius]

Tallmadge for the ask game

sexuality: bi but he also gives me aro vibes ngl. or at least like arospec

gender: cis

ship: i don’t personally have any, but i have nothing against halemadge

brotp: talmadge and hamilton but only if they slightly hate each other. like siblings

notp: ngl… caleb brewster. i mean like whatever floats your boat but childhood friends never work for me. they feel too related

random headcanon: probably gets in arguments with hamilton and washington both a lot, but if hamilton and washington get into an argument, talmadge takes hamilton’s side. also i imagine he’s like the way i write laurens, and plays the devil’s advocate to piss hamilton off

general opinion: i think he’s cool!! im not a big fan, but i include him in fics from time to time and i liked him in turn (i say that like he’s an actor). i don’t find him particularly interesting, not for any reason, i just didn’t click with him. but i do think he’s a cool dude and im a big fan of spies. the culper ring is really interesting so he does have a special place in my heart

[slopofpaws]

HI! Very quick pop out of my hiatus:

For those that liked my headcanons: thank you so much for your interactions- I want to get back to those so badly!

The person that asked for Halemadge, I see you my dude, and yes I will do ships eventually!

Big things: new job, new schedule....

And no motivation since the school year. I want to write but I'm honestly just nervous of the rejection of my stories, which I know is probably more anxiety than what will happen. My writing isn't atrocious, but my brain says it is, and so I'm scared my stories won't make sense as I write them and I'll have to do everything over and over again.

I'm having a crisis over my personal novel I've been trying to write for years - it has to be completely changed, so my cringe from high school doesn't make the story turn out crappy.

Anyway. Please be patient, it's taking a lot to try and figure out a way to be motivated to do stuff related to my personal artwork and content. I'm happy being with friends and working for the moment.

Thank you for taking time to read this, it means a lot that people don't think I've just disappeared. I know I'm sad when people I looked up to or enjoyed interacting with moved on without saying goodbye.

<3 Sloppy

[dearxtallxboy]

1, 2, 5, 6, & 7 for the ask game, please! :)

Thank you for the ask! I really appreciate it!

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I tend to daydream a lot about my fics before I write them out. Sometimes they end up with super messy outlines before I actually write them out and spend days, or even weeks, thinking of the idea before it gets fully written down.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

I'm actually not entirely sure! A lot of the time it's from other media or video games. I mostly write Ben Tallmadge/George Washington fics so I like coming up with little AUs for them. I just want to put them in scenarios that make me happy and are things that I would like to see in the fandom.

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

I have an embarrassing amount of wips right now. I have a couple for my modern BenWash AU, one for an offshoot of that AU which involves Lams, and a HaleMadge fic that is kinda tentatively in the works right now. I also have a BenWash AU set in the Detroit: Become Human video game, but I don't know if that one is ever going to be finished.

6. What's the last line you wrote?

The last line that I wrote is for a fic that isn't finished yet and I don't want to give too much of it away at the moment. The last line from a published fic that I wrote was from Sweet Dreams and Quiet Breathing and the line is:

“Welcome back, darling. I trust that your tour of York City went well?”

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

Sun filtered in through the too thin curtains and covered his husband's sleeping face with a pale light. His mouth was open slightly as he slowly breathed in-and-out, oblivious to the world around him. Ben couldn't help but press himself a bit closer to Nate and took a deep breath. Nate smelled like a mix of Ben's stale cigarettes and the stupid cotton candy vape pen that he was using. Underneath that he could smell sweat and and stale beer that had been spilled on him at the concert. It wasn't the best mix of smells, but Ben loved it. They were all familiar and comforting, reminding Ben just how strong Nate was and how far he had come.

[dcbutinamrev]

*sobbing* hamDRE-

*sobbing* halEMADGE

[dcbutinamrev]

One Life to Lose

Y’ALL I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 22, NATHAN HALE’S DEATH DAY, BUT I KEEP PUTTING IT OFF AND FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL FICS. BUT HERE IT IS! FINALLY!

~~~

Silence fills the still air as a young man, with light blonde hair--light enough for people to mistake it as white--bright clear blue eyes that have now faded into a darker shade, an angular face and a hooked nose. He turns to face the window outside the house he stays in for the moment, breathing in the air, cherrishing every moment he has left.

Nathan Hale gazes out towards the window, peering down at the trees surrounding the house, the sky have gone completely dark by now. Stars twinkling above the sky, a pale silvery glow filtering through the leaves and branches of the trees. He furrows his brows together, pinches his lips tight and thinks about...

He shivers. Dear God, Damon...

His Damon.

Tallmadge. His beloved Tallmadge.

Hale groans, a low rumble coming from the back of his throat before slamming his forehead agianst the glass window. He squeezes his eyes shut and swallows hard, his throat burning. When was the last time had a sip of water?

"Ben..." he sighs, a puff of warm breath escaping him and frosting the window. He cracks his eyes open slowly. "My dear Damon..."

Hale stands an inch back from the window, taking a quick glance out towards the open, seeing himself standing just underneath one of those branches the next day, seeing a crowd of people around him, watching with beady black eyes. He shivers, his teeth chattering slightly.

With his wrists bound by thick rope still, he lifts his hands up and rests a palm on the window, faintly seeing his reflection. A small smile spreads across his face however, his hand still on the window. He tips his head back up towards the sky, watching the stars twinkle. Like how Tallmadge's ocean blue eyes would against the sun, or whenever he would laugh. Silently, Hale could faintly hear Tallmadge's laugh echo through his head. Though, it being nearly close and sounding as if he were beside him, Hale spins around on his heels just to be sure, his eyes wide as the moon.

Hale puffs out a breath of relief when he only sees nothing but the darkness of the room surrounding him. He turns back to face the window with pinched and tight lips again.

"Ben..." Hale begins, whispering to himself. "I know you can't hear me...not all the way...not all the way I'm up here...and you're...doing God knows what... The last I've heard of you...was from a couple of days ago." Hale smiles again, just a little. "I know...I know I haven't written much...and I want to apologize for that. I apologize for a lot of things, Damon. Especially this...now..."

A pause.

"You probably haven't heard of my capture yet," Hale continues, glancing down towards the empty space between his shoes. "You might have, depending on...you know...how long it'll take from here to camp. Wherever you are."

Another pause. Hale lifts his head up to face the small, squared window before him.

"I'm sorry, Ben..." Hale whispers. His voice cracks, throat tightening as though a hand were clamped around it. He blinks his eyes, blinks them fast and clenches his jaw hard so he hears his teeth knock. "I failed you...I...I broke our promise....I broke yours...and what...what..." Hale swallows, licking his dry, chapped lips. Dry from lack of sneaky kisses. He shudders. "What terrifies me the most...is that...is that you're not here with me. You're not out there in the crowd, though I suppose that's also a good thing."

Hale nods as if to reassure himself that it was indeed a good thing. He sighs again through his nose before lifting his head up from the windowpane to face his reflection, to face his last view of Earth before him. His palm still resting against the glass.

"I love you, my dear Damon," Hale whispers. "Forgive me."

He clenches his eyes shut. He feels something wet trickle down his face.

I'm so sorry Ben...

~~~

Hale now sits in the carriage early the next morning, September 22. He jostles side to side as he stares at the space between his feet, stares at his hands resting loosely in his lamp, bound tight with thick brown rope. Hale furrows his brows and presses his lips together, tipping his head back and closing his eyes gently, breathing in as much as he could. His heart pounding like horse hooves clopping against the ground.

Hale jolts forward as the carriage skids to a stop suddenly. But luckily he catches himself.

The carriage door swings open and Hale sits there for a moment. He hesitantly stares out towards the small crowd that’s now lining up towards the tree. He sees a horse underneath a specific branch, with a wagon attached to it and a rope. He breathes in slowly and holds his breath, closing his eyes softly, muttering: “I’m sorry Ben” before finally climbing out of the carriage itself.

With a firm grip on his arm and his wrists bound together tightly, Nathan Hale stumbles his way towards his doom. He avoids the endless stares from the others, women clad in black, emotionless and blank faces, men dressed the same. Hale glances up slowly, grimacing at the sun before climbing on top of the wagon.

“If the prisoner have any final spoken words now would be the time to do so,” says the Colonel nearby.

Hale doesn’t care about his appearance or his background. He stares straight ahead, his throat bobbing up and down hard, hard enough his throat burns. It feels as though a hand were clamped around his thought.

Perhaps there might be.

With a shaky breath, Hale utters these words:

“I only regret that I have one life to lose for my country.”

A sharp snap is heard like the sound of a branch being broken against someone’s knees, some women gasp and hide their faces and crows caw in the distance.

And then…

Silence.

[knowltonsrangers]

Heey! Fanfic request! So it's Halemadge, and it's set in college years. So basically Enoch catches on to Nathan and Ben's gayness and he sets up a plan where he goes to bed, and when Nate and Ben act all lovey-dovey he'll walk right in on the two (not in a smut way tho) Just had the idea of Enoch realizing Nate and Ben were gaying eachother so little idea lol

[a/n: hi!! Ok so, I included the reader in on this, if that’s alright!! And I may have went off the path on this one-I’m so sorry, I had like five ideas come to me at once for this akdnsisndibe I hope this is ok!]

Enoch Hale x reader (if you squint) & Halemadge

“Get in.”

You’re very adamant that you’ve never seen Enoch Hale act like this, so sassy and so outrageously frustrated.

“Hi, y/n.”

“Hi Enoch.”

Shrugging your sweater up a bit higher on to your shoulders, you pull the handle on the passenger side door so it opens. You’re barely inside with the seatbelt clicked into place before he hits the gas.

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“No! I’m not, because everyone but you thinks I’m insane!”

He throws the car into a right hand turn, but lets up on the peddle just a bit. You can feel your heartbeat slow.

“You called me at 1 am, to pick me up, for…?”

“Ben and Nathan!”

You turn in your seat, watching as he grumbles impatiently at a red light.

“I thought you and I concluded that Nathan liked James Hillhouse.”

“So we thought.”

Blinking twice, you wait for an elaboration that never comes.

“Enoch-“

“Ben just climbed through his window. I literally just saw it, and I need someone else to see it because I need to know I’m not hallucinating.”

Normally, you would try and calm Enoch down from this detective perch he’s sat himself on, but watching his determination in proving he was right all along really hauled you in.

And after all, you and him had been doing this whole snooping thing together since the both of you caught Nathan sneaking in one night.

Who are you kidding-

You wanted to know too if it really was Ben.

“Okay.”

“‘Okay’ what?”

“Okay. I will go with you to make sure you’re not hallucinating.”

Enoch flips his blinker so he turns into his neighborhood.

“You really didn’t have much of a choice, I’m the one who called you yelling at 1 am to be outside in 10 minutes.”

“It’s just nice to see you so…expressive, is all.”

The tips of his ears turn pink.

“Thanks, y/n.”

Putting the car in park and unlocking the door, you and him both hop out and sneak up the driveway. While the rest of the Hale house slept, you and the brunette creep through the front door and walk slowly up the stairs so they didn’t groan or squeak.

He motions you to Nathan’s room, and puts his hand on the door knob. You fully expect him to carefully turn it and open it a hair, so you both could see inside.

And for all that quietness, what you witnessed next was nothing you were ever prepared for.

He basically kicks the door open.

Ben nearly falls out the window, where he’s half in, half out, in the process of smooching Nathan per a goodbye kiss. Nathan jumps so high you’re afraid he’d hit his head on the ceiling, and Enoch stands proudly in the doorway as if he’d won.

Samuel shouts a profanity from down the hall.

“Enoch?! Y/n, what—“

“We really thought James.”

You shook your head, walking into the room to help heave Ben back through the window.

“James? Please.”

You and Ben share a laugh, while Nathan and Enoch erupt into a fight.

“That’s why you needed the car?! To drag y/n across town all the way here?! For what?”

“Evidence, because I could say all day long that I saw you two, and you’d call me a liar!”

“So you and Nathan, huh?”

Standing next to Ben, he offers a grin.

“For a while. Took you both long enough, actually.”

“We probably would have figured out sooner if we hadn’t convinced ourselves it was James.”

You shrug, biting back a laugh.

“He’s commendable for bringing along a witness.”

“Enoch and I are like this,”

You hold up two fingers intertwined.

“There’s nobody else that can call me at the crack of dawn and tell me to come help figure out who their brother is dating.”

[thebulletinhamilton-quotes]

(Let’s hope I did this right XD ) For a Halemadge one shot may I please have the “i’ve been stood up again and i’m angrily texting my friend who set me up with this loser and you ask if you can join me since you were going to eat alone anyway because you’re new to town“ prompt under the Blind date tag? If you could make it a little angsty / feels-y that be wonderful but no pressure. (Doesn’t matter who ‘s what part) Thank you! @regretless-spy-and-culper-master

A/N: JESUS ITS ALMOST BEDTIME FOR ME GOOD LORDY. Hope you enjoy it. I have no idea if it is angst or not cause I prefer to write my feelings first then tell the story. TURN plays on in the background with aesthetics and Benjamin Tallmadge’s tight pants. Anyway, enjoy!

.

Moving to New York City had seem like such a good idea. Instead, it turned out to be one of the worst ideas Benjamin Tallmadge has had since he was a kid. No, scratch that. Even a kid wouldn’t behave so irrationally.

The thing is, life in New York City did not turn out the way he planned.

His original plan had been to move there with his friends but that didn’t work out. So now, he’s living with a roommate named Tench Tilghman (who for some reason wears a trench coat all the time) who is a born and raised New Yorker. Who recently discovered that Ben is single and decided to make it a personal mission for him to set him up as on many blind dates as he can (much to Ben’s dismay). But thanks to a loophole....

Ben combs his hair one last time, looking over his delicate features in the mirror. Despite his heritage, he’s good looking if not a little pretty boy (according to the bullies back in middle school) feel. He grabs his Yale sweatshirt and jacket before running out the door as Tench tries to tell him about a date. But Ben is too quick for that.

As he walks the brightly lit, commercially decorated cluttered streets in early December, he assures himself that he’s fine and everything is good. Life couldn’t be better, he tells himself, as he walks across the street. Life couldn’t be sweeter than this. He thinks to himself with a smile.

.

Nathan Hale doesn’t do blind dates for a reason. It’s like going into a restaurant, completely blindfolded and at the mercy of someone else. It’s scary, it’s vulnerable and—

“Are you ready to order, sir?” A bored, Brooklyn accent cuts through his thoughts as he looks helplessly up at the bored waitress who cocks an eyebrow at him.

He’s been here for fifteen minutes and the restaurant is packed to the brim. The door keeps on opening as couples and groups of people come in, hoping to be seated at Burr’s Durr, a fushion restaurant that incorporates every flavor imaginable in their food.

He smiles weakly up at the waitress with blue hair and dark brown skin who looks at him unamused. “One more minutes.” He promises her as she sighs sympathetically at him. She gives him a look of ‘that’ll be it, I mean it’. He nods weakly as she walks off.

He covers his face with his hands and for a moment, he feels like he could either scream or punch a tyrannical doofus. Either way, his date is not coming and he’s going to be eating alone tonight. Again.

This is the last time I let Abe talk me into going on a date I swear—! He promises himself before a stranger sits down across from him. They dazzle smile at him, and for a moment Nathan forgets how to breathe. He runs a hand through his frizzy hair praying to whomever that his hair is not a mess because oh god this stranger has him feeling helpless.

He attempts to smile back at him with a grimace but the stranger winks at him before opening the menu, as their smooth baritones hit his ears. “What should I go, I don’t know what to get.” They ponder out loud. Nathan has to fight back a laugh before he’s able to answer their question.

“I would get the Hamilton special.” He tells the pretty individual who looks up at him as he tells him so. “It’s good,” he hears himself promising. “It’s one of my favorite dishes.” He tells the guy, who’s smile makes him want to fall apart.

The stranger hums. “Well, if that’s what to get then sure.” He seems to smile even brighter at Nathan as Nathan can hear his own heart going ba-thump, ba-thump. Thankfully, their waitress must sense that they are finally ready.

She smiles at them, before turning her gaze to Nathan, hard. “What can I get you, sir?” She asks him first, her tone is sweet with a hint of ‘don’t mess with me’ undertone.

Nathan clears his throat, aware that’s his entire body is on fire as the stranger and the waitress stare at him. “I’ll have the Hamilton special, please.” He tells her, his voice shaking slightly.

She joys it down, nodding at him. Then before he can blink, she turns to the stranger who smiles at her with ease. “I’ll have the same as well, gorgeous.” The stranger says with an air of confidence Nathan wishes he had.

The waitress takes the menu from them with a nod before turning to Nathan. “It’ll be out soon. Please let me know if you need anything else.” She says before walking away with an air of urgency.

It’s an awkward ten seconds as Nathan and the Stranger stare at each other. Thankfully, it’s the stranger who breaks their silence.

“Sorry for hijacking your date. I saw you sitting by yourself and you looked ready to pass out. I didn’t mean to intrude.” He says, his voice is apologetic. “I’m really sorry, if you want I can leave—“ the cute stranger begins. Before Nathan can stop himself, he quickly shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine. Really, thank you. I appreciate it, man.” Nathan rushes out with a smile at him. The guy looks at him, a little surprised. “Well, if you’re sure?” He asks, like Nathan might tell him to yeet out a window.

Nathan nods his head, slowly as he takes a sip of water. “I’m sure. Besides, you’re way cuter than any of the guys I go out with.” Nathan jokes before seeing him laugh while looking away. His face is flushed. Oh lord, he could be at least a second date. Nathan observes quietly.

Nathan holds out his hand with a smile. “I’m Nathan, by the way. What’s your name, man?” He asks easily, like he doesn’t have butterflies in his stomach.

The stranger takes his hand and shakes. “Benjamin but I go by Ben.” He says with a grin. “Only my mom calls me Benjamin.” He shakes his head with a chuckle.

Nathan nods before letting go of Ben’s smooth, warm palm. He cringes at himself as he stares at another dudes palms like c’mon. He’s not going to stare at this dude, at the very least they can get to know each other.

“So what brings you to town? Tell me about your adventure to the greatest city in the world, man.”

There is no harm in that, right? He thinks to himself as Ben explains that he’s new in town and his only friends are his coworkers and a roommate who is quite nosey. We are just two people getting to know each other. This isn’t a date. Nathan thinks as Ben explains how his adventure began.

Right?

....

Fin.

...

Hey guys please reblog and reply. Feedback is Bae. Also to those who would like this request, send it to my inbox PLEASE. Otherwise it gets lost in the posts and i forget. Thanks @regretless-spy-and-culper-master for the ask!

[thefreedombanner]

I know I don’t ever post (I don’t remember the last time I did, truthfully) but I have a thought and y’all would get it     So I’m a history nerd, right? I’ve always been fascinated with everything about anything not in the past 60 years (why I don't know), and I think part of the reason is that there’s something so oddly comforting about it. There are terrible things, yes, but there is also so much hope and courage and I feel like I need that. Every time something unfortunate seems to happen, there are solutions- at least to calm the mind to reach a better solution. Or that the courage of those before us help fuel our own courage as if we’re not alone.  Becoming a Living Historian and immersing myself in the Rev. War has not only helped me academically, but personally as well. As the Head of Intelligence for the National Park I volunteer at I’ve learned of so many important people whom of which many people don’t know of and their ingenuity and strength which inspires me to learn more and become a better person myself. And it feels as if our ancestors and their peers are looking out for us. Helping us write, helping us not do terribly dumb stuff (sometimes), helping us heal, and yeah- History just means a lot to me and I have lots of feelings.

[regretless-spy-and-culper-master]

(Let me now if you have a modern or canon au preference).

angsty relationship asks

why? bc i’ve been dying with r76 lately

(this doesn’t have to be necessarily romance-oriented)

do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what?

who apologizes first? in what way? is it hard for either of them to apologize?

which one has more insecurities? over what?

who gets more riled up? do they show their anger? 

how do they hide their pain when they’re upset? do they try to hide their pain?

who tries to make up first? does it work?

would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out?

do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?

is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed? 

if something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible?

what’s their favorite pass time when they’re upset?

who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other)?

is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?

who grieves more when the other is away?

who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?

do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use when they miss the other? if so, what is it? what do they do with it (read, wear, look at, smell)?

who cries more? who gets more emotional in general?

do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their house?

how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)?

do either of them have any vices?

what’s the thing they miss most about each other?

what’s their go-to breakup/angst song?

who’s more jealous?

who is the first to forgive?

what’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)?

who would take longer to let go? do they ever really “let go”?

which is more afraid of confrontation?

who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)?

who’s more patient? is it hard to break that patience?

who’s the first to blame themselves? 

who’s more likely to do something out of spite?

who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it?

who worries more?

what scent reminds them of the other?

do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)?

who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated?

who is more prone to anger?

who cries more in an argument? do either of them cry?

does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling?

who sleeps on the couch? can either of them sleep without the other?

who’s more likely to protect the other?

if one of them gets injured, who worries more?

who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm?

who ends up yelling first? are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all?

who would be more likely to save who? 

who stays up at night brooding?

who has more dreams/nightmares about the other?

who comforts who after a bad dream/event?

do they think about each other a lot? does it affect their performance/schoolwork?

if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back?

[sonofhistory]

What everyone thinks I need in life: happiness

What I really need in life: a good Roger Casement biography that doesn't shuffle his sexuality under the rug and takes the time to write about it because it was who he was and the reason he was hanged/instead of shot and that should be honored because he didn't go through all that for everyone not to know he was hella gay.

[benjaminrush]

“Don’t tell me you’re actually being productive, for once,” Nathan Hale says, righting himself and meandering over to the bed besides the desk where the ink on Ben’s essay is drying.

“Well,” says Benjamin Tallmadge, a smile spreading across his face as he meets Nathan’s easy gaze, “it was bound to happen at some point.”

(or: Ben has an essay to write. Nathan is having none of it.)

for @sonofhistory - thank you, endlessly, for getting me fascinated with history (and with these two) in the first place!

[vive-la-revolution]

almost.

a halemadge oneshot // highschool au

My arm is slung around Nathan’s shoulders, and he turns to me, a lopsided smile on his face that radiated with pure happiness. I can’t help but to return it; his glee is all but contagious.

I almost want to kiss him— after all, that’s what one does with their partner, right?

I remember when he asked me out almost a year ago: I’d gladly accepted it, after all, I had felt rather attached to him since freshman year (one might even be able to call it attraction), but I just… I don’t know. Something seemed off.

Nathan slips his arm around my back, curling up a little into me on the couch. It was our—what—almost ten-month anniversary since we got together? We’d decided just to hang out at his house and watch a movie, nothing particularly special.

I reach over with my free arm and pull a blanket up over him, smiling as Nathan does. The volume on the TV was down so much it was barely audible, and the near silence was somewhat uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” Nathan asks suddenly. I feel his gaze on me and I look up, however refusing to look directly into his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet. I don’t think I’ve heard you say a word all evening.” I let him pull me closer.

I shrug. “I just… have a lot on my mind.” I say, which isn’t entirely a lie. Are they necessarily things I’d want to talk about with my boyfriend? Not particularly, but I’m sure I can cover for myself.

Nathan situates himself in a way that forces me to look at him. “Are you sure everything’s alright? Is there anything you want to talk about?” he asks, and I almost melt at the genuine concern in his voice.

I shake my head and tear my gaze away from his piercing blue iris. “No.” I murmur.

I feel nothing when he relaxes again, holding me close. I feel nothing when he plays with my too-long hair. Aren’t these things that usually evoke feelings of butterflies and heart-leaping in people? Why am I numb?

Is something wrong with me?

I sense my eyes threaten to prick with tears and I quickly blink them away. To my heavy relief, Nathan doesn’t seem to notice.

It just registers with me then that Nathan is no longer clinging me to him. Perhaps that’s an understatement.

He’s moved practically to the opposite end of the sofa.

How did I not notice?

I clear my throat. “Are… you okay?” I ask, resting my hand in between us. He doesn’t take it like he usually does.

He doesn’t respond for a long time, which worries me. Before I can say anything, though, Nathan quickly says my name.

“Ben?”

“Hm?” I glance up at him and—

“I love you.”

And that’s when it hits me.

I bite my lip to try to keep from crying, but it’s a vain attempt. Tears run down my face and it’s barely a second before I feel Nathan’s arms around me. I almost shrug him away.

But I don’t.

“Oh, Ben, darling,” Nathan says softly. “Don’t cry, I understand if you don’t-”

“I can’t.”

My voice is so quiet and raspy I barely realize I’d said anything.

Nathan hesitates a moment before responding. “What do you mean? If this is about your parents, I swear to God-”

“No, no, it’s not,” I interject again, “they’re fine with this. Us. Whatever. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Me. It’s just me.”

A sob racks my body and Nathan pulls my close to his chest, his hand in my hair as he whispers to me. “Shh, shh, it’s alright, it’s okay, I promise.”

And I hate myself. I hate myself for what I’m putting him through. He just said he loved me, for Christ’s sake! Who am I to disregard that by having a crying fit? I hate it.

“Ben, love-”

“Don’t call me that.”

I feel him nod against me. “Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t think…”

I know he says more but I’m barely registering any of it. Under my breath, I just barely make out that I’m muttering “I can’t” over and over.

“You can’t what, darling?”

“I can’t love you like that!” I finally push myself over the edge. Away from Nathan. “I can’t love… anyone like that.” A pause. “And I’m sorry for ruining your confession but I can’t love you like that. I… don’t think I ever have. And I know I never will.” I look down, realizing how that might have sounded. “I don’t mean it like you’re a horrible person, Nathan, I love you. Just not in the way you wanted me to. And I’m sorry.” I’m so, so sorry.

God, I just want to run out of his house and never look in his direction again. I feel like I’ve done some terrible thing, and by all means I might have. Nathan is in love with me! And I…

“I think I’m aromantic, Nathan.” I whisper, staring at my hands.

“Oh,” he says on a breath. I almost think it’s a bad thing. “Oh, Ben, I wish you had told me sooner.”

Right, so you could have saved your first “I love you” for someone who actually wanted it.

I swallowed. “Why?” I ask, my voice shaking with the single word.

“Because I care more about your comfort than three words, okay? That’s what matters to me.”

I nod, a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “Thank you.” I whisper.

Nathan comes a little closer. “Can I hug you?” he asked softly.

I nod again. “Yes.” I say, though his arms are already around me before I can get the word out. I put my arms around him and for the first time it feels… right. That’s all I can call it.

We cling for a moment as I calm down. When we release each other, my eyes are red and I can still feel faint tear lines down my cheeks, but I’m okay.

I’m okay.

Nathan wipes my eyes with the corner of the blanket and interlocks his fingers with mine. “Hey, no matter where we stand, I love you, alright?”

I smile. And I almost say it back.

Almost.

[dcbutinamrev]

Okay people. I need y'all's help.

What Halemadge au should I do

I want to write a Halemadge multi-chapter fic like Helpless but I idk what the plot should be.

So what modern au should I or would you all like:

Another high school au one

college (though I'm not typically good at college aus, preferably high school for a school au)

coffee shop (a classic)

royalty (in modern era)

Those are the main aus I want to do but if you really really want I can try to do a Halemadge historical fic like D&I

[knowltonsrangers]

It’s Fall, Y’all

[a/n: bc in this scenario, Ben is the mom and you and Nathan are the children. who love fall.]

Nathan Hale x you x Benjamin Tallmadge

The look that Ben gave the two of you probably would have killed if he wasn’t so exhausted.

“It’s September twenty-third, why am I tripping over a pumpkin?”

Nathan frowned at the dent now in the back of ‘Enoch’s’* head. The face he had drawn on with a sharpie hardly resembled his brother, but it was funny nonetheless.

“It’s fall! We gotta paint the apartment orange and break out all of the black clothes we own!”

“That seems excessive (y/n), but that’s the reason why I’m on board. Ben, wanna run to Home Depot with me?”

He laughs.

“Is it sad I don’t know if you’re serious or not?”

Ben walks into the kitchen, and sets the grocery bags on the counter. He then notices the mess, the state of the kitchen looking more like Michael Myers had been inside versus Nathan and yourself.

“Why is there pumpkin guts on the ceiling? I thought you drew the faces on…”

“We did, but I couldn’t tell you how those got there.”

You say, eyes following Ben’s up to the ceiling. You take a bag and open the cabinet, helping to unload the groceries as Nathan picks at a bowl of popcorn.

“(y/n) and I are Fall experts.”

He says. “Yeah?” Ben asks, as he opens the fridge to put away the milk.

“Who says that?”

“A Buzzfeed quiz.”

“Is this the same thing as you guys claiming you are ‘dog experts’ and ‘every movie Ben picks is bad’ experts?”

You go to end the joke, a laugh bubbling over your lips but Nathan beats you to it.

“More or less,” The blonde chokes out over a round of laughter.

“Well if you two are going to do this now, November first the Holiday decorations go up,”

“I think that’s a little different—“

“Nate—“

“How would it be the same (y/n)?”

“I…well I wouldn’t know.”

You shrug, a smile cemented on your lips as you turn to unload another grocery bag. Picking up a bag of apples and a package of strawberries, you turn to Nathan.

“Nate, you better not let Enoch see that pumpkin of him,”

“I’ll make sure he does, (y/n). No problem. In fact, I’ll send him a photo now!”

Nathan’s facial expression falls.

“Wait—! Ben! I don’t think—! I think…uh–he’s in a class right now! Don’t bother him, oh my god he’s going to murder me—“

Happy Fall y’all! [*Enoch is Nathan Hale’s brother. I love him, a lot. I plan to write for him soon 😜]

[tag list! : @shieldblacksailsonfrontier 💓 @thefanficnerd 💓 @simvez 💓 ]

[thebulletinhamilton-quotes]

Don’t know if you take requests (replying to the writing thing) but can we get some Halemadge stories?

For headcanons? For incorrect quotes?? For one shots???

Yep!!! Just no incest, pedophilia and etc. for writing. That’s my only rule.

If I don’t feel comfortable writing the pair, I’ll do a different take so it’ll be a different kind of story (ie friendship).

Good question though anon. But yes send me your Halemadge requests and I’ll do my best. Have a good rest of your morning, anon!