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hatsukeii · 1 month ago

Text

the curious case of kageyama tobio's love life / kageyama tobio x reader

genre(s): crack + fluff! timeskip au (third year/graduation), investigative report format, secretly dating trope, drunk x sober LMFAO

warnings(s): drunk people and house parties... (underage drinking is not! recommended here!), defs multiple/many uses of y/n because of how the fic is formatted but you need to trust the process PLEASE (sorry!) also reader's ass gets slapped by kags as a dare...

wc: ~4k

tldr; below is a transcript, recounted by partygoers hinata shoyo, tsukishima kei, yachi hitoka, and yamaguchi tadashi, of the happenings at hinata shoyo's graduation house party, set on the night of 29th march. any and all hearings have been sworn to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. they think. probably.

[Report #1- Initiated by Hinata Shoyo]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 7:20pm

Location of occurrence: Living room

Kageyama Tobio is the third guest to arrive at Hinata Shoyo's residence, twenty minutes after Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. He carries with him the items that were agreed on the night prior- two twelve-packs of beer, one two litre bottle of coke, one Nintendo switch, and two Nintendo Pro controllers. Upon entry, Hinata Shoyo greets him at the door, and the following conversation ensues between Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #1- provided by Hinata Shoyo]

S. Hinata: You're here, what's good! You got the stuff too?

T. Kageyama: Yeah. Where's everyone else?

S. Hinata: Daichi's on patrol until eight, Suga's picking him up when he's done. Yachi's lining up to pick up the cake with y/n-

T. Kageyama: Cool, I'll put the stuff down there. (He signals to the kitchen counter across the living room)

[End of transcript #1]

Kageyama Tobio proceeds to the television, where he sets up his Nintendo on the dock. He then offers a controller to Tsukishima Kei, who accepts, and joins Kageyama in a game of Super Smash Bros. Upon opening the character menu, half of his characters are unavailable for use, evident by the following conversation that ensues between Tsukishima Kei and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #2- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

T. Kageyama: What the fuck?

K. Tsukishima: For someone who's had this game since release, you're pretty shit if you can barely move past the starter characters.

T. Kageyama: Shut up. [He proceeds to the home page of his console.]

K. Tsukishima: Sure.

[End of transcript #2]

Kageyama Tobio then leaps to the dock, unplugging it for a total of forty-two (Hinata Shoyo estimates) seconds. During its downtime, he is seen to be wiping his neck with one hand, tapping at the screen with the other. The game of Super Smash Bros ensues when he replugs it onto the dock, to reveal a fully unlocked character selection screen. Kageyama Tobio, who plays Sonic the Hedgehog, loses 1:2 against Tsukishima Kei, who plays Sora. But don't tell him that Hinata Shoyo kept count. Thanks.

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[Report #2- Initiated by Yachi Hitoka]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 7:46pm

Location of occurrence: Living room, kitchen

Yachi Hitoka and y/n are the sixth and seventh guests to arrive at Hinata Shoyo's residence. By the time they step foot into the house, Hinata Shoyo is three vodka redbulls in, courtesy of Tanaka Ryunosuke and Nishinoya Yuu's contributions to the party's catalogue of available drinks, and is shooting down a fourth with Yamaguchi Tadashi, who is on his first drink of the night. Tsukishima Kei is one can of beer in, and is wrestling Kageyama Tobio on the couch, who is two cans of beer in. Upon entry, Hinata Shoyo slings an arm around Yamaguchi Tadashi, and drags him along to greet the two guests. The following conversation ensues between Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shoyo, Yamaguchi Tadashi, and y/n.

[Transcript #3- Provided by Yachi Hitoka]

Y/n: What is going on...?

S. Hinata: You're heeeere! C'mon, take a bit from me! [Hinata Shoyo proceeds to tilt his glass too far into his face, and breathe in roughly 250mL of redbull mixed with vodka. He chokes. Yamaguchi Tadashi attempts to worm out of Hinata Shoyo's grasp. His attempt is unsuccessful.]

H. Yachi: If this is what forty minutes looks like, I don't think I wanna know what happens later.

Y/n: Why are they wrestling like... that?

H. Yachi: Men.

T. Yamaguchi: Men.

S. Hinata: [coughs]

Y/n: Understandable.

[End of transcript #3]

Y/n heads to the kitchen counter, where they set a cake into the fridge. Kageyama Tobio breaks free from Tsukishima Kei's sloppy side pin at this moment. Tsukishima Kei heads for the bathroom, and does not return until twenty minutes later. It is unsure what occurred in the bathroom, but not of importance. Kageyama makes a beeline for the fridge, and stubs his toe on the corner of the kitchen counter. He is...unusually uncoordinated, and barges into the space beside y/n, only to grab a third beer and push his way out again. Y/n shoots him a side eye, one that nobody else notices, except for Yachi Hitoka, who is currently writing this report. It's pretty scary, actually, they're a little scary with the side eye. But that is besides the point.

Y/n does not take a drink, but instead heads to the now empty couch, where they pick up the discarded Nintendo Pro controllers off the ground, and invite Yamaguchi Tadashi and Yachi Hitoka to a game of Super Smash Bros. Upon entering the game, y/n selects Sonic as their character. Kageyama Tobio returns to the couch with a can of beer at this moment, and the following conversation ensues between y/n, and Kageyama Tobio.

[Transcript #4- Provided by Yachi Hitoka]

T. Kageyama: Why aren't you picking Ness?

Y/n: I feel like Sonic today, so why not?

T. Kageyama: Sonic's difficult, even for me. Fun, though.

Y/n: I never get to play Sonic, so now that I can, I'm using him.

T. Kageyama: ...Fair enough.

[End of transcript #4]

Following the conversation, Kageyama Tobio does not leave the area. He leans with his forearms against the edge of the couch, and his hands hanging just above y/n's shoulders. He does, however, watch the game and the game only. Y/n, who plays Sonic the Hedgehog, ties with Yachi Hitoka, who plays Kirby. They both lose to Yamaguchi Tadashi, who plays Joker.

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[Report #3- initiated by Tsukishima Kei]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 9:02pm

Location of occurrence: Living room

Disclaimer: Tsukishima Kei would like to preface that from this point onwards, his recounts may be liable to errors in continuity and/or accuracy. This is because by 9pm, he was three cans of beer, and one can of Jack Daniels and coke in. Daichi Sawamura, in his fancy police uniform and all, insisted on staying sober, so he will be fact checking any of Tsukishima Kei's recounts up until the point when he leaves the party prematurely. Daichi Sawamura will be aided by Sugawara Koushi, who also insisted on staying sober. For the children, he said. From Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi's departures onwards, any and all informtaion provided by Tsukishima Kei is subject to human error and inaccuracies. Apologies for the inconvenience.

[The following is fact checked by Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi]

Hinata Shoyo, who has managed to hold in four vodka redbulls, one can of beer, and half a vodka cruiser thus far, makes the suggestion to play drunken truth or dare. At this point in time, Kageyama Tobio is three cans of beer, and two cans of Jack Daniels and coke in. He is half-asleep on y/n, who looks visibly distraught, like when a guy you're not really into thinks he's allowed to sleep on your shoulder. At Hinata's proposal of truth or dare, y/n speaks into the air, however, it is inaudible to Tsukishima Kei, who has just returned from another twenty minute break in the bathroom. What can be said? The guy needs his downtime away from the rest of these drunk idiots. (This is a Daichi Sawamura approved comment)

In y/n's hand is a red cup, however, it is unconfirmed whether its contents are alcoholic or not. Everybody sits in a circle on the ground of Hinata Shoyo's living room, and in the fourth round of truth or dare, the following conversation ensues between Hinata Shoyo, y/n, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Yachi Hitoka.

[Transcript #5- Provided by Tsukishima Kei (aided by Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi)]

S. Hinata: Who's to SAYYYY...it isn't somebody...RIGHT HEEEEERE! [Hinata Shoyo swirls a bottled vodka cruiser in circles, and spills rougly 15mL of its contents onto his carpet. Nobody notices this. The carpet is not cleaned until the next morning. This will be of importance.]

T. Kageyama: Yeahhhhh...YEAAAAAAH! It HAAAAS to be somebody here, riiiiiiight?...RIIIIIIIGHT? [Kageyama Tobio nudges y/n's shoulders as he prods on. His inquisition is futile, as y/n does not respond directly to his advances. However, they shoot him a look. You know, the look of panic when a guy that you're a little bit into starts totally hitting on you in front of everyone.]

Y/n: Yachi's question was are you into anybody. Yes, I am. Who's next?

K. Tsukishima: Well...it's no FUN if you're not telling us whooooo! C'monnn, a guy hits on you every other day...it's BOOOOORING if you don't tell usssssss...specifics! Yeah, specifics!

T. Kageyama: You're...stiiiiiill getting hit on by OTHERRRR GUYSSSSS? [Kageyama Tobio proceeds to grab y/n by the shoulders, and turn them to face himself. Y/n is visibly taken aback. They shoot another look. the kind of look where your mouth is open and you suddenly stop blinking because you aren't sure how to anymore.]

Y/n: Can we...can we please move on to the next person? Thanks! [Y/n taps Kageyama Tobio's wrists two times. Kageyama Tobio releases y/n from his grasp, and folds his arms.]

H. Yachi: Goooooootcha! [Yachi Hitoka takes a swig from a red cup. Its contents are known to be cream soda and vodka in a 7:1 ratio, courtesy of Hinata Shoyo's contributions to the party's catalogue of available drinks. At this moment, Yachi Hitoka is two drinks in, and that is already two drinks too many.] So, Yamaguchi! Truuuuuuuth...or dare?

[End of transcript #5]

This round of truth or dare continues for another thirteen minutes. No further interactions are recorded between Kageyama Tobio and y/n within this timeframe. Daichi Sawamura and Sugawara Koushi leave the party prematurely at 9:20pm.

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[Report #4- Initiated by Tsukishima Kei]

Date of occurrence: March 29

Time of occurrence: 9:52pm

Location of occurrence: Living room, kitchen

[The following is not fact checked by Daichi Sawamura or Sugawara Koushi, and may contain inaccuracies. Ensure to cross check with multiple reliable sources. As reliable as you can get with a group of hammered, freshly graduated young adults, and their enabling seniors, at least. For the record, Tsukishima Kei has ceased his consumption of alcohol by this point in time. Tsukishima Kei's brother, Tsukishima Akiteru, gives him the talk when he returns home the following day, but that is not of importance. So don't worry about it. Just know that Tsukishima Kei was the second most responsible drinker of the night. Thanks.]

At approximately...9:52pm? Yes, 9:52pm, sure. At 9:52pm, y/n separates from the truth or dare circle, and proceeds towards the kitchen. They are seen filling up a red cup with coke, and nothing else. While y/n is away from the larger group, the following conversation ensues between Nishinoya Yuu, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, and Hinata Shoyo.

[Transcript #6- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

Y. Nishinoya: No...I'VE GOT a GOOOOOOOOD ONE FOR HIM! ...KAGEYAMA! I...daaaaaare YOU!

K. Tsukishima: He asked for a truuuuuuuuuuth, not a...DAAAARE!

S. Hinata: GODDAMN LET HIIIIIIM FINISHHHHHH....

Y. Nishinoya: Yeaaaaaah, asshooooooole. Leeeeeet me FINISHHHHHH! [Nishinoya Yuu sniffs, and stares into the ceiling for four seconds. Not a single thought is coherent in Nishinoya Yuu's mind.]

T. Kageyama: Whaaaat am I dooooing! I'm gaaaaame enough...for ANYTHING! ANYTHIIIIIING! [Kageyama Tobio possesses a look that is a little insane, and proceeds to...beat at his chest? What the fuck? Did he actually beat at his fucking chest? (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved. Please cross check with reliable sources.)]

Y. Nishinoya: I daaaare YOU! To smack y/n's aaaaaaaass...hahah...ha.... [Nishinoya Yuu falls over to the side. He remains in slumber for the next thirty-two minutes.]

S. Hinata: Thaaaaaat...is CRAAAZY! Kaaaageyamaaaaa...are youuuuu! Gaaaaaame enoughhhhh!

[End of transcript #5]

Kageyama Tobio pushes himself off the ground at Hinata Shoyo and Nishinoya Yuu's provocations. He snickers to himself, and walks to the kitchen, where y/n is placing the two litre bottle of coke into the fridge. Kageyama Tobio proceeds to advance towards y/n, and smacks their behind, before…squeezing it? And then jiggling it in his- what the…fuck is going on? (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved, please cross check with reliable sources.) Y/n snaps around at the abrupt impact, and empties the contents of their cup onto Kageyama Tobio. It's a shame Nishinoya Yuu is too knocked out to witness what he has provoked. Sucks. The following commotion ensues between Kageyama Tobio, and y/n. Please note that parts of the conversation were inaudible from the truth or dare circle's location.

[Transcript #6- Provided by Tsukishima Kei, Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shoyo, and Yamaguchi Tadashi]

Y/n: WHATTTTT the FUCK KAGEYAMA.

T. Kageyama: [inaudible]

Y/n: Oh...my fucking God! You are! Very drunk!

T. Kageyama: [Turns to the truth or dare circle.] TOOOLD YOU! I'M GAAAAAME ENOUGH! FOR AAAAAAAANYTHING!

Y/n: [inaudible]...NISHINOYA! [Y/n shoots a look towards the truth or dare circle. One of disdain. Contempt, even. In hindsight, the dare was much too inappropriate. Here is a reminder for everybody to apologise at the next available chance.]

T. Kageyama: Soooorry, [inaudible].

Y/n: [inaudible]...God, I should have never did it to you the first time. Not the place. Not! the place! [Y/n proceeds to grab Kageyama Tobio by the shoulders, turning him around. Kageyama Tobio is ushered into the bathroom, alongside y/n. Y/n shoots one more look at the truth or dare circle. Tsukishima Kei, as he writes this transcript, is beginning to understand Yachi Hitoka's slight fear of y/n. It's the side eye. They are definitely a little scary with the side eye.]

T. Kageyama: Ouuuuuu, the BAAAATHROOM! Thaaat's a firstttttt. [Kageyama Tobio wiggles his brows, and it's kind of creepy. Like when a guy is trying a little too hard to get laid, and is throwing every existing pickup line at you. Y/n smacks him in the side of his head, and pushes Kageyama Tobio into the bathroom. They slam the bathroom door shut and lock it. The two do not return until fifteen minutes later. It is unsure what occurred during that timeframe.]

[End of transcript #6]

When Kageyama Tobio and y/n return to the living room, it is approximately 10:12pm. Nishinoya Yuu is still asleep on the floor, and shows mild signs of...nevermind. Yachi Hitoka and Yamaguchi Tadashi have moved on to drunken karaoke. Hinata Shoyo and Tanaka Ryunosuke learn to do the Rasputin beside Nishinoya Yuu's unconscious body. Kageyama Tobio and y/n settle beside Yamaguchi Tadashi and Yachi Hitoka respectively, and pretend to be at a concert where the singers can barely remember their own lyrics and aren't sure what notes to hit. Tsukishima Kei wants to go home, but hasn't gathered a satisfactory amount of blackmail yet. Therefore, Tsukishima Kei stays the night. He passes out on the living room carpet at 12:03am.

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[Report #6- Initiated by Yamaguchi Tadashi and Hinata Shoyo]

Date of occurrence: March 30

Time of occurrence: 12:12am

Location of occurrence: Living room

Disclaimer: Any and all recounts made my Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi from this point onwards may be liable to errors and inaccuracies. Since Tsukishima Kei made the disclaimer, the two believed they too were responsible for making one of their own. They admit that they were not responsible drinkers. They also admit that this will, undoubtedly, happen again.

12:12am is a time of silence. By this time, Tsukishima Kei has fallen asleep on the carpet, just beside Hinata Shoyo’s cruiser spill. He does not wake until 11:13am of March 30. Yachi Hitoka leaves the residence at approximately 11:30pm, alongside Tanaka Ryunosuke and Nishinoya Yuu, who are all picked up by Kiyoko Shimizu. Yamaguchi Tadashi and Hinata Shoyo are positioned at the kitchen counter, where they eat the graduation cake with their bare hands. At this point in time, Yamaguchi Tadashi has ceased all alcohol consumption, tapping out at two vodka redbulls, and two cream soda and vodkas in a 5:1 ratio. Hinata Shoyo, who has thrown up twice between this report and the last, has also ceased all alcohol consumption, tapping out at four vodka redbulls, one can of beer, and one vodka cruiser. Does cake work as a hangover cure? So sinful, so decadent…who gets to eat the happy graduation chocolate sign? Pay that no mind, for it is unimportant. What is of importance, is Kageyama Tobio and y/n’s current form.

Kageyama Tobio, who has tapped out after three cans of beer, two cans of Jack Daniels and coke, and an additional shot of pure vodka, stirs in his half slumber. This is no regular half slumber, but is one of intimacy, and of lovesick vulnerability, evident by his entire body splayed across y/n’s lap. At the time of this report, it is unsure whether y/n has consumed any amount of alcohol, but their sobriety is to be applauded regardless. (Please do not inform Kageyama Tobio of Hinata Shoyo’s comments on his character. Thanks.)

Y/n proceeds to bounce their leg twice, no, three times. Yes, three times is what it takes for Kageyama Tobio to stir awake. Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi advance towards the couch at this moment, with the intention of smearing cake over Kageyama Tobio and y/n. However, upon entering the vicinity of the living room, the following conversation ensues between Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shoyo, and y/n. Please be reminded that Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi are both drunk out of their mind, and that the conversation was one of whispers. For that reason, any and all details of the transcript are liable to errors, redaction, and/or inaccuracies. Apologies for the inconvenience.

[Transcript #7- Provided by Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi]

T. Kageyama: [inaudible]…leave?

Y/n: Do you? [inaudible]…car [inaudible]

T. Kageyama: I don’t [inaudible]…ow. [Kageyama Tobio rubs at his temples. Hinata Shoyo believes he is crying, but also don’t tell Kageyama Tobio he thinks that. (This is not Daichi Sawamura approved. Please cross check with reliable sources.)]

Y/n: Alright. Upsies now, I’ll drop you off. [Y/n pushes Kageyama Tobio’s body off of their lap. Kageyama Tobio whines. Hinata Shoyo is recording this entire ordeal, but there is frosting on the camera from fumbling for his phone with cake-covered hands. It is unclear who is speaking in the video, or what is happening, really.]

T. Kageyama: Drop me…offffffff? BUT I THOOOOOUGHT- [Y/n proceeds to punch Kageyama Tobio in the side, to which he doubles over. Kageyama Tobio begins to giggle uncontrollably on the ground.]

Y/n: Yes. I'm dropping you off, Tobio. Hinata? [Y/n turns to Hinata Shoyo, who throws his phone onto the ground upon being spotted. They leave the couch, and attempt to pull Kageyama Tobio to his feet. Kageyama Tobio is still giggling, and is unable to find his grounding.]

S. Hinata: Y-yeeeeeees...? [Why are they looking at Hinata Shoyo like that? No, seriously, he's getting scared thinking about it again as he writes this transcript.]

Y/n: I think I'll head out, Kageyama needs a drop off and I'm getting tired. This was fun! Thanks for holding the party, happy grad! I'll catch you around, yeah?

S. Hinata: Of COUUUUUUUUURSE...! Youuuu're NEVER! Getting rid of USSSSS!

Y/n: Yeah, of course. See you soon, Hinata. Good luck with the cleanup. [Y/n has finally managed to pull Kageyama Tobio to his feet. They yank Kageyama Tobio by the arm, and push him out the front door.]

[End of transcript #7]

At 12:15am, Kageyama Tobio and Y/n leave Hinata Shoyo's residence. Yamaguchi Tadashi, and Tsukishima Kei do not leave until the day of March 30.

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[Report #7- Initiated by Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shoyo, Yamaguchi Tadashi]

Date of occurrence: March 30

Time of occurrence: 11:13am

Location of occurrence: Living room

Tsukishima Kei is the first to wake from the stench of the cruiser spill by his nose. God, fuck, everything hurts. Is this what death feels like? A hangover? Also, that spill? Foul, fucking rank. It comes as no surprise that vodka, steeped into the fuzz of an unwashed carpet, would undoubtedly stink. That is beside the point. Tsukishima Kei leaves the ground at the stench, and searches for his phone. He is afraid. He promised to be home by midnight. His brother is going to kill him. Following two minutes of mindless smacking at the ground, Tsukishima Kei finally finds his device. Upon closer inspection, however, the following conversation is shown on the phone.

[Transcript #8- Provided by Y/n]

Y/n: r u dead???? -1:02am

Y/n: hurry up i wanna sleep:( -1:02am

Y/n: im not hearing water istg if ur not showering im gonna fucking drown u babe i dunked SODA all over u -1:03am

Y/n: r u hearing me -1:05am

Y/n: kageyama tobio r u hearing me because i still am not hearing water from my bathroom -1:05am

Y/n: if you don't shower ur sleeping on the ground tn -1:07am

Y/n: tobio r u done omg hurry up i wanna sleep sb -1:27am

[4 missed calls from: Y/n]

[End of transcript #8]

Upon this discovery, Tsukishima Kei wakes Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi, who sleep on the couch for the night. The three ruminate on their next course of action, before the phone rings. The following conversation ensues between Tsukishima Kei, and y/n. Hinata Shoyo and Yamaguchi Tadashi choose to act as bystanders.

[Transcript #9- Provided by Tsukishima Kei]

Y/n: ...Fuck.

K. Tsukishima: So.

Y/n: He dropped it while wrestling you, didn't he.

K. Tsukishima: ...We wrestled?

[End of transcript #9]

[Case Closed]

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bonus:

When you realise that Tobio's phone is MIA, he finally returns from your bathroom. Barely clothed, he shakes his head, and droplets of water come flying from his hair. His feet are heavy against the floor, and he isn't sure if he'll even make it to your bed at this rate, until you come darting out of your room, phone in hand.

"Tobio, where is your phone?"

"My phone?" His phone, it's in the bathroom, like it always is when he showers, right? Tobio grunts, annoyed at the extra return journey to the bathroom. He swipes at his T-shirt on the bathroom counter-right, that's where his shirt has gone. What meets his fingers is cold porcelain, and he frowns, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Not...here? Good question...where is it?"

You drag Tobio to your room, shutting the door behind you. When he spares no time to roll into your bed, blissfully unaware, you glare at him, and remind yourself that you do, in fact, love the guy. Even if he drunkenly slapped your ass in front of everybody four hours prior, forgot about your warnings and drank much too far past his limit, and has by now, probably outed your relationship to everyone at the party, despite keeping it perfectly hidden for over a year. Unfortunately, you remind yourself once again that you indeed, do love Kageyama Tobio, so this can wait. What is important now, is catching up on lost slumber, and forcing Tobio to join you.

Crawling into bed beside him, you finally melt into his arms for the first time tonight, away from the eyes of the Karasuno volleyball team. Tobio smiles, satisfied with the way that you're relaxing against him, instead of pushing him off and smacking his head. He inhales the scent of your shampoo, slips his hands beneath your shirt to hold your bare waist. This is comfortable. You are comfortable. Better than whatever he was on at that party.

"Oh well, who cares? You probably dropped it while wrestling with Tsukishima."

"...I wrestled Tsukishima?"

author's note:

I hope this is as fun to read as it was to write and i also hope it's actually good because it's so crack that there's not really any fluff until the bonus bit at the end BUT i'll come back with some proper butterfly inducing fluff and or angst soon!! love u all!!

tags!!

@chuuya-brainrot @staraxiaa @catsoupki @hiraethwa @laughingfcx @akaakeis @kuroppiii @tulip-room @wyrcan @wishi-selfships @fiannee @bailey-reeds @zzwon

ok thank u for waiting n reading love u all see u soon bye bye

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wrestlezon · 7 months ago

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have you see this website? it looks like a useful resource if you want to look up some of the moves in a particular wrestler's repertoire, or if you dont know what theyre called

#postzon #i saw this and was like wtf this rules. how useful!! i have trouble remembering what things are called #i mean otherwise i'd be looking at ____'s top 10 coolest move compilations on youtube but this is a really nice overview #wrestling #aew #must be a blessing for ppl who regularly make CAWs

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dunmeshichilchuck · 2 months ago

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For That One Guy on Tumblr part 10

Chilchuck x !fem !halffoot reader

TW: discussion of head injuries, concussion, blood.

You hit the ground with a *THUMP*, you and Chilchuck half cushioned by each other's bodies. Your head still ricochets off the floor with a *CRACK*.

You wake up. Or maybe you were always awake. You don't know. You lay there for...a while. It's nice. It's comfy. There's no beaks and claws and wings. No falling. You feel pleasantly cushioned from whatever is happening, your head and ears ringing faintly.

Some time passes.

Slowly you become aware that there is...sticky liquid on you. A lot of sticky liquid. Huh. That doesn't feel nice.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh fuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohgodohno

You lurch to a semi sitting position and manage to slur out.

"CHILCHUCK."

The room is dark and you can't see shit but he's still half wrapped around you, and he's. He's not cold at the least. There's that. You've been out for a while, right? He'd be cold, right? You know what a dead body feels like.

You frantically fumble around to find his neck and press your fingers to the thick vein running up the side of it. For a moment, you think there's nothing there, and then you feel the faintest flutter.

He's alive.

You breathe out in relief, no way you could rez him, and there's a solid chance you'll never see the party again. You wouldn't have been able to get him back to the surface before he rotted off the bone. A death now means a death for real. No taking it back. No tricksy magics. No second chances.

Your still foggy brain scrambles around for a plan. You need to heal him. You have to heal him. But you can't see anything....

Light. You need light. But you can't leave him, and you'll need every ounce of magic you have in you for the healing.

For the first time, you realize it's not *quite* fully pitch black. You can make out the dim outline of your hands.

You glance around, each shift of your head bringing a new wave of pain.

There's a thin crack of light a few feet away from you, off to your right.

*Like an angel* you think, half delirious.

You carefully extricate yourself from the heap of tangled limbs that is Chilchuck and crawl over to the door. Even concussed and in the dark, it's a matter of seconds to pick the flimsy lock. You almost feel a sense of professional scorn. You ease the door open, letting light spill into the room.

It's empty, thankfully, just a standard store room or guard room or whatever it was supposed to be, not even any crates or barrels. Unfortunately it's empty of any holes in the wall that could have dumped you there as well. More labyrinth fuckery.

The door opens into a hallway lit by torches, no movement or sounds there either. You only open the door enough to let what light you need in though, no sense in being stupid.

You crawl back over to Chilchuck, not quite ready to test your balance yet.

He doesn't look good, sprawled limply out on the floor, breath shallow.

Automatically, you look him over and catalogue the injuries. To your relief, it's not as bad, or at least not as complicated, as you had initially feared. There's a lot of blood but the only obvious life threatening injury is the head wound he sustained from the hippogriff. Anything else will have to wait.

You take a deep breath and lay your hands on his blood covered head. The words come slowly and haltingly, you wrestle them through the slow moving fog of your mind, but you get there in the end.

The blood flows back and his eyes open, he sits straight up with a gasp. The backlash hits you at almost the same time, and you double over, making sure to vomit *away* from him.

Through the spinning haze of mana sickness you see him glance around, take stock of his surroundings and you on the ground, and very calmly say. "What the fuck?"

And then you suppose you finally, mercifully, pass out. Letting the darkness and the spinning haze of colors take you at last.

When you wake up you're surprisingly comfortable, you feel warm and groggy and your head is resting on something more comfortable than the hard stone floor, and you hear the crackle of a fire. For a very confusing half a second you wonder blearily if someone got a bed into the dungeon. Then you realize you're half draped over someone's lap, carefully arranged on your side.

Panicking slightly, you start to lever yourself up into a sitting position but a firm hand lands on your shoulder and stops you.

"No. Give yourself a second."

You relax. It's just Chilchuck. Thank fuck.

He sighs and says "You scared the shit out of me. Didn't know if you were going to wake up."

You settle back down a little awkwardly. You groan a bit, your head spinning. "What happened?"

"Whats the last thing you remember?"

Chilchucks voice is soft, you can tell he's trying to be gentle and careful. Surprisingly considerate coming from him.

You squint, pushing your aching brain back. "There was...a monster."

He makes a hum of agreement. "And then what?"

Still that same gentle tone. It's starting to freak you out a bit. He must've really been scared. The hand is still resting on your shoulder, whether for your comfort or his or because he hasn't noticed it's still there. Or perhaps because he thinks you're going to make a break for it. Whatever, you don't exactly mind it.

"The....we fell down...something. there was..."

You try to sit up again. "There was blood! Holy SHIT there was a lot of blood."

His hand presses down again, arm coming around to gently press you back into him. "Easy! Easy. Everything's fine. We're all okay. I'm okay, you're okay."

You settle down again, head spinning from your sudden exertion. "Okay....now I think I remember. We landed in here. I healed you and then I passed out...yeah?"

"Yeah. That was another stupid thing to do."

There's no bite to his voice, he just sounds tired.

You snort and then groan again as your head throbs. "You keep saying that."

"Yeah well make smarter decisions and I'll stop saying it."

Taglist, ask to tag:

@night-shadowblood-writes2

@thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry

@dunmeshimeshi

@leguink

@gh0st-spider

@reh-llik

@sy1v30n

@qardasngan

@mshope16

@drowsydoggy

@anaxnee

@hopefully-not

@j4mergy

@alula394

@renjunluvr119

@lone-ray

@indigoghnights

@toshi-tori

#chilchuck x reader #chilchuck #chilchuk dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi x reader #chilchuck tims #chilchuk tims #for that one guy on tumblr

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egginround · 1 year ago

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Thaw

Gale wrestles insecurity in an intimate moment with Tav. Gale x GN!Reader - CW: None.

For all his flowery words, Gale feels tongue-tied when you're near. Even the traitorous air from his lungs rushes out to greet you as you step into his tent, a bright shine in your eyes as if he's ever earned the right to be looked at like that. A phantom of a touch as you brush the wisps of hair from his face, a startingly natural slip of your hand into his. Not even his endless years of study could catalogue the swell of magic in his blood - it's moments like these that have him spellbound.

Your hands leave a delicious trail of warmth up his skin. His shoulders, his arms, the sides of his body. Not one inch is left untouched, not under your curious hands. As the two of you lie together, a sinking chill starts to frost over in his mind, a nagging guilt that claws into the back of his head. He takes a shuddering breath and wrestles it down as your touches whisper over him. A voice hissing sick poison - telling him he has done nothing to earn this, that you will leave at his next mistake - floods into his thoughts. His breathing quickens but not for pleasure. As his eyes dart across the tent, hands starting to tremble as if to cast Misty Step, he feels ready to escape - and yet he can't.

It is impossible to tear his gaze from yours once you see him.

Shivers dot the back of his neck, but still he cannot look away. All the brilliance of the morning dawn could not compare to the way you peer up at him. Your gaze seems to burn his very soul - past the bravado, the confidence. The heat radiating off your palms sinks deep into his chest, flooding his every vein, and threatens to choke him as it washes up his throat. His tongue, usually well-practised from his propensity towards verbosity, suddenly feels large and foolish in his mouth as he struggles to free a coherent sentence. He can only hold your hand to his chest just as he did all those months ago. It feels poetic in some way. Again, he is at your mercy, pleading, desperate, aching for you to understand him in a way he cannot trust himself to say.

He hopes that somehow you will understand the depth of his feelings for you. Even the Astral Plane seems insufficient. Shifting, you slide into a more comfortable position and lay across him, your cheek resting on his shoulder as if his orb doesn't thrum a stuttering beat. As if your fingertips would not melt away his sickening mortal flesh, and there he would lay - stripped to mere bone and gasping for breath all the same.

The same fingertips reach to tease the wrinkles from his brow, and he snaps out of his reverie. They tangle themselves in his hair before tracing a near-scorching path down his cheek, ghosting over the corner of his lips and oh, it must certainly be the orb that lurches so in his chest. Again, he endeavours to loosen a word from his lips, but - ever the tactician - you read him before he has the chance.

As Mystra's Chosen, Gale had tasted the highs and lows of all the Weave could offer. The electrifying sensation of power, the soul-piercing loneliness without it. The endless weeks where he locked himself away has left him brittle as ice when confronted with the mortifying idea of being known to another. So much of his heart has wasted away in his chase for the cold wisps of Mystra's perfect favour.

He grunts as your nails accidently scratch his skin, the pain bringing him back to the moment, and your cheeks faintly colour in embarrassment. A hoarse chuckle is all he can let out as he finally reaches out to you fully. He thinks he'll take the blistering warmth of your mortal touch any day.

Author Notes: I thought it'd be interesting to write a Gale situation where he doesn't fucking talk LOL. Much love for our rizzard (who i am convinced is actually a sorceror ahaha) - maybe one day I'll write something actually happening instead of lovesick fools. I might expand this when I post on ao3 hmmm.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x reader #gale x tav #gale fluff #drabble #edited bc i noticed a lotta mistakes 💀#eggin writes

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themoonweaversden · 3 months ago

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Messeges that were found so far: STAN / STANLEY PINES / STAN PINES / STANLEY (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

You have to keep spamming it to get all of these links

Eventually you'll get this:

Transcript:

"WHEEL! OF! SHAME!

STEP RIGHT UP! It's time to play my FAVORITE GAME!! BOOTLEG SIXER over HERE spent a LIFETIME trying to hide his humiliations, BUT I'VE BEEN INSIDE HIS MIND, so NOW they're ALL YOURS for the low price of BEING MY NEW PAL! IT'S SHOWTIME FOLKS, AND THE ONLY WAY TO LOSE IS TO BE NAMED STANLEY PINES! CLICK BELOW TO SEE WHAT THIS MOUTH BREATHING CARNIVAL BAKER HAS BEEN KEEPING TO THE VEST ALL THESE YEARS. BROUGHT TO YOU BY: SHAME!

"SHAME:™ IT'S THE ONE FRIEND WHO NEVER LEAVES!"

EX-WIVES!

FEARS

SECRET SHAMES

UNREPORTED CRIMES

FAILED PRODUCTS

LOWEST MOMENTS

DARKEST THOUGHT

HOW HE BEAT ME"

If you click EX-WIVES

Transcript:

"EX-WIVES

Old Goldie Vegas wedding to a cursed gold-toothed antique.

Marilyn Fakenamé Vegas wedding to a cursed gold-toothed antique.

Brenda Chuggins Shack attraction for having "World's Biggest Thumb." (Carny Tip: Never date your own freaks. She used that thumb to hitch-hike off with Johnny Snakes 3 days later)

Sandra Sweetmeadow A kind beautiful Amish girl eho made Stan choose between her and his "sinful gold chains." He chose the chains.

Someone named "Burline" Stan has no idea who she is, but he found her wedding ring in the Shack Lost & Found, put it on, and it got stuck forever. Physically binding. Might be legally binding!

His childhood poster of "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" (8 year old Stanley drew a ring on the poster and made Sixer witness.)

Natalia Annika Ömanövv Totally un-suspicious turist from a country that no longer legally exists. She took Stanley's creedit card and social security number while he was sleeping and still "checks in on him" via hidden cameras. Ah, love!"

If you click FEARS

Transcript:

"FEARS

The IRS Finding Out

Soos being the one to find Stan dead and taxidermying his body. (Soos would consider this an honor)

The cops calling Stan's fingertips "unusually little."

Betting Dipper in a poker game (and losing.)

Word getting out about Stan's little fingertips, people discovering that they're littler than Ford's.

Stan being dubbed "Baby-Fingers Pines" by the media and having to look into black market finger enlarging."

If you click SECRET SHAMES

Transcript:

"SECRET SHAMES

The time Wendy beat Stan in arm wrestling. 3 times in a row. She never has to work overtime as long as she never tells a soul.

The fact that no one came to his fake funeral except his mom and an IRS agent who whispered to the coffin "this isn't over."

The quick cash Stan made in 1975 posing for a "Hunky Drifters Catalogue" that wasn't as tasteful and classy as the job listing made it sound.

Was the baby mascot for the "Fussy Boy" Brand diaper rash commercials. (Claims that was Ford.)

Writing His Duchess Approves erotic fan-novel: "The Duke's Temptations at Oglebottom Estate.""

If you click UNREPORTED CRIMES

Transcript:

"UNREPORTED CRIMES

The time Stan hit Toby Determined with his car and just... kept driving.

Illegally breeding wolves to create a "super wolf." You should hear this thing howl.

Pretending to be a veteran to get a discount on PEZ, then having to invent an entire fake war in a fake country to keep the ruse going. Stan still has a "Remember Operation Enduring Excuse" bumper sticker, and regularly updates the Wikipedia page for the "People's Grepublic of Grunklestan."

Shooting out the tires of the Mythbusters Van after they axposing him for "looking kinda doughy" on tape.

Selling his heart medication to Children claiming it was "metal-flavored candy!"

Accidentally inhaling too much taxidermy glue, black out, and waking up to discover that he had somehow managed to rob himself. Still tracking down the lost boot buried by his arch-rival "Glue Stan""

If you click FAILED PRODUCTS

Transcript:

"STAN'S FAILED PRODUCTS

The "Wishy Washy!" - A washing machine that somehow makes your clothes dirtier.

The "Counter Fit!" - A rubber band you attach to your kitchen counter to exercise while doing dished. INJURY TOLL: 27

"Welcome to Gravity Town!" - A cartoon show pitch which was unanimously rejected by every network for "blatant Illuminati references."

"Flavored Lottery Tickets!" - Turns out that the kind of people who think they can win the lottery are the kind of people who ignore "do not swallow" instructions. LAWSUIT TOLL: 48

"THE SAD SHACK" - A burlap bag to cover your head so no one can see you rendomly crying during the day. Cheaper than therapy!

A soda called the "Drippy Stanley!" INGREDIENTS: Pine Sol, wood glue, & expired sun tan lotion. Soos tested it and now he can't remember the year 2000."

If you click LOWEST MOMENTS

Transcript:

"LOWEST MOMENTS

That time he somehow got an F- on a history test, which teachers thought was mathematically impossible. Filbrick made him stand on the lawn for two days holding a sign that said "Estra Stan, 3 dollars or better offer."

When "1998's Best Tourist Traps in Oregon" listed the "Mystery Shack" as #99 below "The world's bigest fence" and "the dog that might be thinking human thoughts."

His birthday the year before he met Dipper & Mabel. No one came to "Mr Mystery's Mystery-Age Party & Used Wolf Pet Sale" He'd spent hours writing comedy roasts of employees who never came, burned off one of his eyebrows attempting to make a cake, and drank the night away skeet shooting Sixer's old Beethoven Records.

The day after he met the twins, he overheard them debating whether they should escape out the window and report him to the FBI. Mabel shook a Magic 8-Ball and tey stayed.

Stripping for edible flour in Tijuana Please don't make me elaborate."

If you click DARKEST THOUGHT

Transcript:

"DARKEST THOUGHT

Pin all my crimes on Soos"

If you click HOW HE BEAT ME (You have to keep spamming)

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME He didn't! IM STILL HERE, SUCKER!"

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME LOOK the gambler got a lucky break, alright? A lifelong LOSER was due for ONE freak royal flush! What does it mean? NOTHING! LESS THAN NOTHING! NOT WORTH EVEN THINKING ABOUT!"

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? That a guy who once tried to EAT THE DECORATIVE POTPURRI out of the bowl in the bank OUTSMARTED ME?! PLEASE! Goofus was just following Gallant's LEAD! It was SIXER'S PLAN, PTSD BARNUM is just a side character, a resume-inflating, cheap trick loving, past-denying overgrown child protected from failure only by a force field of DENIAL AND shamelessness! Sixer ate Stanley's potential in the womb, and the only thing interesting that ever happened to him started when I entered HIS head! END OF STORY! PERIOD. And I have NOTHING MORE TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!!"

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME ..."

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME AND ANOTHER THING! Ever since that pathetic excuse for a 5-sensed three Dimensional one lifespanned skin-puppet was barfed into the universe, he was nothing but a carbon copy of a better genetic duplicate, and he knew it! A trillion years from now when I've broken out of this place nd taken over, he'll be remembered as the special bump under the cement truck of my inevitable triumph asterisk next to an asterisk next to an asterisk next to an asterisk who would be a joke if he was capable of understanding comedy whehich he OBVIOUSLY isn't, I mean, have you heard the hacky matreials he does on his tours, I've been inside his dreams, he WORKSHOPS that material, he PAVES over it, and the best he can do are some puns that would make a third grader cringe and vaudeville that were hack before they were even invented! Its an insult that showed to wear a suit and tie, he should be in a BARREL with SUSPENDERS!

HACK JOKES. CODEPENDENT. SELF-PITYING STUPID "FULLY CLOTHED WOMEN" COULDNT WIN LOCAL ELECTION SMUG SAS-CROTCH TACKY UNWORTHY CLICHE DREAMS "SINGIN' SALMON" AND THAT'S THE FINAL WORD!"

Transcript for this image in specific taken from this Google doc

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME OKAY I SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE! You’re just like those those PREACHY INFANTILZING AUTOMOTONS AT THETHERAPRISM who are SO OBSESSED with getting me to TALK about my “FEELINGS”. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET A RISE OUT OF ME?! TRY! I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU!”

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME KEEP CLICKING! SEE WHAT HAPPENS! I CAN OUT-LAST YOU PAL! DO YOU REALIZE WHO YOU’RE STEPPING TO HERE?! IM LITERALLY INSANE! TRY IT! KEEP TRYING IT! I’VE GOT FOREVER, LET’S GO! COME ON! GO! KEEP CLICKING! KEEP DOING IT!”

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME KEEP DOING IT!"

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME I LOVE IT!"

Transcript:

"HOW STAN BEAT ME IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!

⚠︎ FLASH WARNING FOR THE FILES BELLOW ⚠︎

Transcript:

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!"

Transcript:

"DO Y Ou even fAThoM ho W muCH pAIN IM"

Transcript:

"sOMeTIMES when i CLOSE my eyE i caN"

Transcript:

"I cAN STiLL sEe (encoded in alchemic sipher, author's cipher, theraprism and color cipher (in that order))"

Decoded messege: "The eyes of everyone I've ever"

(last three images)

#bill cipher #book of bill #gravity falls

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toastedbarleytea · 10 months ago

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Satoru and Sukuna fuck the way they fight. There is so much curiosity - so much novelty! - to it. A dance, a very mutual push and pull.

Naturally, power play is a regular occurrence. How could it not be, when you have two of the strongest beings in existence circling one another, with of all their pride?

But the mutual fascination remains, no matter how many times Sukuna pins Satoru down.

Sukuna loves forcing Satoru to stay *still* underneath him, to reduce the strongest of today to an incoherent, teary-eyed mess, to explore the contours of Satoru’s delicate face with his fingers, to feel the powerful lifeblood thrum of Satoru’s cursed energy, to watch Satoru’s bratty attitude disappear once Sukuna finds the subtle angle or spot that makes him go nonverbal, to explore the shades of blue in Satoru’s eyes, to wound and heal. To be surprised by Satoru, to Sukuna’s delight, over and over again.

Satoru, who has been reviled and relied upon for his ability alone, loves to be pinned underneath one of the few who could ever rival his power, to feel rough palms explore his overstimulated skin (he’s so sensitive, after spending years behind Infinity), to be blocked away from the sensory overload of the outside world and overwhelmed in equal measure, to be seen for who he is and not the role he plays to the outside world. To wrestle for control through exhilaration, exhaustion. To have his body’s weaknesses and desires catalogued and used against him with such ruthless efficiency, without the threat of death.

Ready to give one another everything.

#sukugo #also: the banter 🥰#gojo satoru #Sukuna

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joelmillers-whore · 1 year ago

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kry's fic catalogue

hello, and welcome to joelmillers-whore's blog. you can call me kry or joel's personal whore, either one is fine. i am here to be a slut, write about being slutty, and everything in between. you will find smut, fluff, and a lil bit of angst on the blog. all fics will be tagged and contain warnings, so please be sure to read them before you dive in. indulge, have fun, and be safe!

🍰 - fluff, 🐸 - smut, 🍇 - angst, 🥥 - hurt, 🌼 - comfort, 💀 - dark content

˖ . ☆ joel miller

╰┈➤ series

hard light | professor!joel x college student!reader | 🐸 when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? [on going]

sweet as honey wine | dbf!joel x reader | 🐸💀 you've always had an inquisitive fascination with your dad's best friend and neighbour, joel miller. [on going]

╰┈➤ one-shots

i'll be here in the morning | joel miller x reader | 🐸🍰 after a heated argument, you try to go to sleep alone, but joel knows you can’t and he doesn’t like not sleeping next to you. he comes back and the next thing you know, the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

choking hazard | dominant!joel x reader | 🐸 you’ve been waiting for joel all day, waiting for him to fuck you like he promised. but when he discovers that you’d gotten yourself off earlier, he makes you pay for being disobedient.

the only thing i did right | friends to lovers | 🍰🍇🥥🌼 after a patrol gone wrong, joel races to get you back to jackson. while the doctor tries to save you, he wrestles with the guilt of letting you down.

i've got nothing left to hide | sequel to TOTIDR | 🍰 it has been a month since your injury, of taking it slow, and helping your father out more. and you’re sick of it. ever since you fully recovered you saw less and less of joel. actually, both miller brothers seem to be avoiding you and you’re determined to find out why.

fuck me like you mean it | dbf!joel x reader | 🐸 a miserable time out at a club turns into quite the night when you run into someone you least expected to see.

˖ . ☆ frankie morales

╰┈➤ one-shots

heaven and back | frankie morales x reader | 🐸 an object on your nightstand inspires frankie to experiment in the bedroom and you’re all for it.

breathless | frankie morales x reader | 🐸 you are having a hard time focusing during sexy times with frankie, and he decides to try something to help you.

couldn't help it | boyfriend!frankie x reader | 🍰 getting sick was not part of the plan and letting your boyfriend frankie take care of you while you’re sick was definitely not in that plan either.

requests are open, feel free to drop me a line and i'll try my best to write you a lil something. check out my ao3 here!

#masterlist #joel miller #frankie catfish morales #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #the last of us #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal #triple frontier #frankie morales smut #frankie morales fluff

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bigmilkagenda · 9 months ago

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Of the many, many plates of pancakes* that were offered to the listener in magp 1-07, this one may be my favourite

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. CELIA is saying "Yeah. I mean, it's an old system, but it could have been worse. It's not like we're wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." /end ID]

When we meet TMA-Celia for the second time, she's lost her name. She was Lynne Hammond, and now she's not. She doesn't seem to remember Martin, either, but it's not clear how much of herself and her life from before the change she does remember. She's freaked out by the tape recorders that start showing up, and there's no indication that she associates them with the Institute specifically.

If Celia Ripley is, as we are clearly intended to believe or consider, the same Celia as in TMA, why is she making knowing comments about manila folders and tape recorders? Tape recorders in particular are hardly standard equipment at what seems to be mostly a text data-entry and cataloguing job. She could have said typewriters, or carbon paper. Fax machines, if we're dunking on Freddy specifically.

She says "tape recorders and manila folders." Celia Ripley is referencing The Magnus Institute, particularly the outdated technologies in use in the Archives.

Maybe she learned more from Melanie about what the recorders were and did at the Institute, sometime after MAG 190. Maybe she has those specific memories of giving her statement in MAG 100, and little else. Maybe Martin grew an apocalypse beard and she remembers everything, but just didn't recognise him out of context and in a tunnel and during A Pretty Weird Time Overall.

Maybe she stuck around with Melanie-Georgie-Basira for a while after things returned, and that's how she learned about the particular significance of tape recorders.

Maybe she found some tapes and listened to a couple hundred of them.

Or maybe she's simply an AU Celia, with a knack for oddly specific and kind of clunky comparisons, drawn into this through the powers of metafiction and string theory.

Or maybe someone filled her with spiders and sent her to finish the job of spreading Fear to this particular world.

And the reason this particular plate of textual pancakes** (short stack, butter and nightmare syrup) is one of my favourites from "Give and Take" is because I genuinely have no idea! None of these are theories because there isn't enough evidence to point me in any particular direction. It's a mystery!, Jon voice, etcetera.

If you cornered me and paid me to have an opinion about it I could say which options I thought were more likely, I guess. But the odds are high that I'd be wrong, and I think the boat for me getting paid to interpret texts probably sailed fifteen years ago, besides. I'm in this for the love of the game.***

November is the true spooky season in the northern hemisphere.**** Yeah, October ends with Halloween, but you know what month starts with Halloween? Mmhmm. By November of 2019 TMA had been on my list for a few years, and someone I was getting to know and really liked recommended it to me specifically in the days after 159 aired. The conditions were correct for me to get into something new, is what I'm saying. I still remember listening to "Anglerfish" for the first time, walking home from my office job in the blustery November dark. I got home starry-eyed and red-cheeked and thrilled by the story I'd just heard.

It took a couple of months for me to catch up, and though I loved having so much to listen to there were times when I wished I'd started earlier, to have the experience of seeing things unfold.

And now we're back at a beginning, and get to experience the horrible joys of finding out.

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. LENA is saying "Of a sort. I hope you're as ready for it as you think you are. Consider yourself "in." /end ID]

*Sabrina pancake meme

** the best kind, especially if it's a contest between textual and fluffy pancakes. Keep those spongy bastards away from me, I'll take the kind with a typeface instead

***Being a huge nerd

**** For more of my opinions on November, see https://www.tumblr.com/almostmolly/188799234276

#tmagp #tma #the magnus protocol #celia ripley #celia tmagp #lynne hammond #tmagp meta #loosely. this is neither litcrit not analysis nor speculation in the sense that i don't subscribe to any of the possible paths as true #and also realise there could be a dozen other things i haven't talked about here #i know I've said spiders celia twice but I'm kind of like a person who makes red string boards for the aesthetics #it's part of the decor y'know?#sorry for the link to my tumblr poetry blog but also: I'm not bad at it so. not that sorry #pancakes (derogatory)

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 2 months ago

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tuesday again 9/3/2024

having a lot of fun with toddler enrichment activities in this household, until we bit through the bag and the foil and the water and hated that experience

listening

fun citypop version of Good Luck Babe! by Amandumb and Sakura Wine, “ganbatte” scans to “good luck babe” SCARY well. this is both off a tiktok my best friend sent me and the spotify recommended weekly

youtube

reading

quite frankly this makes me nervous and i am backing up my blogs as we speak. i sort of believe them when they say that we won't see a difference on the front end, but this is a HUGE migration. SOMETHING is going to go not perfectly.

William Greenleaf's TIME JUMPER (1980, 224p) and Joe Millard (my beloathed)'s Blood For A Dirty Dollar (1980 European reprint of a 1973 American book, 156p). thank you philip. time jumper is from a thrift store somewhere (possibly from the free book shelf at the umass engineering library) and the cowboy book is from ebay. they lied about the condition and the heavy smoke smell so i ended up getting it for free :) in no world is that a Very Good condition book!!!

time jumper! i do not think the back cover blurb (below) is very accurate.

COMBINED DESTINIES! One Earth of the far future, city dwellers live in a technologically advanced environment, while bands of nomads barbarically hunt and farm the plains. Hidden within the city is Erin, a crazed scientist, who is constructing a timejumper. On the plains is a nomad boy who quests after the city's secrets. Unknown to both, an evil force works to keep them apart, for it knows that if they ever meet, a new Earth destiny would be inevitable!

i looooove a bubble city. i love long lingering shots of technology and city-scapes and city politics. i would not call the nomads barbarians, bc they are a trading society who set up crop irrigation in their seasonal fields and have a giant traveling library with card catalogue. i would also not call Erin crazed or hidden, bc he is the richest man in the city. reclusive, yes. single-minded, yes. pretty sane though. he is a little person and i think the book handled this fairly deftly for 1980? most of his obstacles are physical and not societal. finally, the evil force is not working to keep them apart bc it doesn't even know about the outside kid. they mostly just want to stop anyone from leaving.

now that we know the back blurb is lies, what's the deal with this book? mostly wrestling with how automation leads to a loss of purpose and flattening of culture, breaking cycles, cyclical natures of histories thereof, and repeating old sins. however, one of the more frustrating endings ive ever read with the very last paragraph containing the suicide of a minor character. we simply didn't fucking need that last paragraph.

i found the dialogue a little bland but book overall quite evocative. it felt like a sixties scifi show constructed from castoff theater sets. it felt like this screenshot from rollerball. a lot of shapes. a lot of giant gardens. a lot of flattened textures.

i also liveblogged the cowboy book here. we've previosuly looked at the one with the balloon and the jailbreak but this is the one with the mad englishman and the imported castle and the missing scientists. i love a description of Legally Not Lee van Cleef Because We Don't Have A Royalty Agreement

watching

X-Men: First Class (2011, dir. Vaughn) was way more fun than i was expecting??? it's fun to watch these with my bestie's husband who is a fairly intense x-men fan and Will pause the movie for several minutes to explain why a specific character's death was fucking bullshit or answer one of my stupid costuming questions

playing

the new mesoamerican fire-aligned nation of Natlan is out in genshin impact! VERY beautiful region even though i think it is a crime, to me personally, to show me a village of observation balloons and then tell me i can't actually go there for six weeks until the next patch.

this is a little bit more of a frustrating experience bc my tolerance for the least little thing going wrong is at record lows. once you hit 100% on a map region it feels more like a true 100% ing the area, which is a little scary bc this usually means you have anywhere from 10-20% more Stuff to do and find and collect. one quest is straight up bugged for me (very unusual) and i cannot get a specific mechanic (the yunkasaur, the little green pokemon lookin motherfucker above, flame spitting) to fire with any sort of accuracy. why have a sight and a center pip if you CANNOT aim it.

some parts of the map look a little more seussical than others.

to whoever made sure this observation balloon lined up with the window when you entered this waypoint building, i see you. thank you.

making

fallow week.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Youtube

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fang-revives · 8 months ago

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Syb's Shibata Match Recs

Since there's renewed interest in The Wrestler because of his amazing match with Bryan Danielson, I thought now might be a great time to drop some match recs for him! All of these have links you can watch right now. I also recommend this article about his time on the Japanese Indies/MMA, this summary video of his return arc to NJPW, and this fanvid, which captures his vibe so well (cw: it includes the headbutt spots from Shibata vs. Okada).

Katsuyori Shibata & KENTA vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Go Shiozaki Of the "Takeover" matches where Shibata and KENTA tagged, this is the one I recommend most often! It's a gritty, hard hitting slugfest, with lots of crazy spots. And as a benefit you get to see two of the all-time greats, Misawa in his late prime and Shiozaki as he's starting to rise as NOAH's future ace. Both Shibata and KENTA are in peak form here.

Katsuyori Shibata & Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Atsushi Sawada & Shinichi Suzukawa I feel like it's only fair to give some context on Shibata's MMA period. Here he is tagging in a "shoot style" wrestling match with one of the all time MMA greats, Sakuraba. I love this match because it feels like it encapsulates 2 things about Shibata: 1. he's a much better pro wrestler than he his MMA fighter. 2. he's (especially in this period) a loaded canon ready to fight at the drop of a hat. I love how excited he is in this. I hate that he jumps so hard he bonks himself immediately on the head. Dumbass (affectionate).

Katsuyori Shibata vs. Shinsuke Nakamura I watched quite a few matches from Shibata's "prodigal son returns" arc in NJPW, and this one was the standout to me. Maybe some of the Tanahashi matches are more narratively punchy, but this was my first exposure to Nakamura in peak form, and boy is that a powerful thing.

Katsuyori Shibata vs. Kazuchika Okada (! INJURY WARNING !) The fact that I'm recommending this match knowing what happened to Shibata after... okay, seriously, this is one of the greatest wrestling matches I have ever seen in my life. The intensity and the way the story builds up to it. God. It's tragic to a high degree that Shibata's best work ended up so fraught like this. I wish there were 0 unprotected headbutts in this match, because it would still be one of the best matches I've ever seen. If you can stomach the implications of this being the match that almost killed him (it took me a long time to watch it) -- it really is That Good.

Katsuyori Shibata vs. Ren Narita Shibata's comeback story really ended here, it feels like. After years of gruelling recovery while he trained the next generation at the LA Dojo, he was finally able to go in the ring at Wrestle Kingdom, against his protege Ren Narita (in identical dress!). Rumor has it that Shibata went off-script and personally pissed off NJPW by changing this from a grappling rules match to a regular wrestling match -- I dunno if that's true, but for sure The Wrestler was back after this match :)

There are other Shibata matches and moments I've known and loved, but this is a good summary of his back-catalogue. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

#katsuyori shibata #njpw #aew #pro wrestling noah #the thing you need to understand about shibata is he's like. both a straightlaced no nonsense by the book dojo dad #and he's also a punkass shit. he's both things at once. anyways

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aerodaltonimperial · 4 months ago

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the junglecorpse story primer

so i've been pretty obsessively cataloguing everything between them in my last year or so of being in AEW fandom, and since they are my Hyperfixation™️, i thought i would put together a little primer for the people who may not have been spending every waking thought thinking about the chemistry these two end up having with each other and how their story has played out. there's some videos in here that are fun watches and hopefully this adds a little bit to the knowledge bank!! (i love wrestling so much lol)

2019//

as far as we can tell, their first time ever wrestling was in 2019, which is what we like to call "the lost 2019 bar match," on february 24, 2019, at the high hat in los angeles. when we say lost, we literally mean lost. i would cut off my left arm to get a video of this damn match-up. the only video we have is a short bit from when they were hitting each other with empty water bottles, shown here. (tumblr won't let me embed these links without crashing.)

there's also one photograph of this match, posted on instagram, by a wrestling photographer:

according to cagematch, darby won this match. given how many people in that crowd have phones out, i cannot BELIEVE that we haven't been able to hunt down the rest of the videos, but here we are, crying into the abyss that we can't find this. someone has it. name your price lol. i'm very open to negotiation.

2020 //

the only thing that 2020 had in it was another "lost match," this time from the jericho cruise, so we hate jericho even more for refusing to video the matches there so we can see them when we do not have $5k to go on this trip. but this one is just a 3 v 3 match, where private party and darby beat jurassic express (jack, lucha, and marko). probably not life-changing, but i still want to see it, as a completionist.

2021 //

by 2021, they had both been in aew for several years and were settling in. darby had the TNT belt, and jack was working up through both the singles division on his own, and the tag division with luchasaurus. surprisingly, they never matched up on their own! but in april of 2021, aew asked twitter to pick darby's next opponent for the TNT, and twitter chose jack. this is where things get interesting.

darby makes a promo talking to jack about the match that gets posted on darby's twitter here and reposted to aew's twitter here. (the link doesn't work to the video anymore, but don't worry, i backed it up on my yt account because i knew twitter would implode eventually.)

this is the first time, that we can find, that anyone has gone after the "if you stop being such a goodie two-shoes, you could be great" angle with jack. this promo actually pre-dates christian cage even joining AEW (he would join in the next month or two)! but this thread remains pulled alongside jack's next several years of kayfabe stories, so it's worth pointing out that darby may have been the first person to use it.

video link to youtube

jack makes a follow-up video for this and it gets posted on aew's twitter, and as luck would have it, that tweet no longer exists. i'm not sure where it went, to be honest. it wasn't much except "i've proven myself" and "my record is great now." it's worth noting that neither of them tag the other in their promos, which makes me laugh. darby calls jack "jungle jack," which also makes me laugh.

they have their 2021 match, which is amazing, and don't worry, i also have that video link, so if you'd like to watch it, the full thing lives here. after this, darby loses the TNT belt to miro, and jack wins the battle royale after throwing christian cage out of the ring. important story beats for both of them.

2022 //

in 2022, they end up on the same side of a 6 v 6 match that i'm assuming was kind of just random match-ups, on june 1st at the kia forum. we've watched it, because of course we have, but it wasn't anything particularly interesting haha. however, in january of 2022, jurassic express wins the tag belts. they hold them until that summer, when they lose them, and christian turns on jack. lucha then also turns on jack. jack's heel turn gets majorly delayed due to christian's injury that takes him out through the whole end of the year. at the end of 2022, junglehook starts up after hook comes out to save jack from getting the shit beat out of him (this is the start of his heel turn).

2023 //

and then we get to 2023, the year that i was watching and promptly lost my mind, because we got the pillars storyline! right before this, jack beats christian in the coffin match, which finishes that particular aspect, but it butts right up to the pillars stuff. i've waxed poetic for like 4k about how jack was supposed to be a heel in the pillars story, but everything got delayed due to christian's injury, and they had to run him as a face for this because too many people were involved, and that's not really the point here, but it sure makes a lot of the decisions made in the pillars story fucking unhinged as shit lol.

i've made a video for the junglecorpse moments in the pillars storyline that is here if you have 23 minutes to experience the absurdity of what they chose to do here.

but abridged version is that jack and darby have to team up for the pillars tag match, and don't seem to get along well. they run a full thing where mjf asks jack to betray darby (so they lose) and jack gets up in his face, and then darby walks in to see it. after this, darby comes out for jack (and sammy comes out after) to save him from LFI killing him after jack beats rush.

prior to their tag match, they run this promo with the two of them, where darby references the lost 2019 bar match (DOES HE ALSO SIT AND THINK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS??? LIKE I DO???) and also mentions that they would probably be friends if they weren't wrestlers, which is worth holding onto lmao.

in the actual pillars PPV 4-way at double or nothing, they run a large segment of jack having the belt and a clear shot to take darby out with it (and win) and he doesn't end up doing it. they make a big thing out of it. this is insane given that a month later, jack turns on hook at forbidden door 2023 and eventually takes the FTW off him. i wish to speak to whoever thought this was normal. he couldn't cheat to beat darby, who he supposedly doesn't even like, for the world championship, but can betray his best friend for an unsanctioned belt a month later??????? this makes me insane. don't touch me chompie.

also worth mentioning is jack tweeting this during the storyline, with nothing else attached to it. merry early christmas to me. (jack tends to post a single photo for important story beats, with no text on it. he's done this for quite a number of things within the last few years. weird that he did that here, when they had one tag match together.)

2024 //

and that bring us to this year! jack is back in AEW after his unjust and sad-making time out. anarchy in the arena happens at double or nothing 2024, and jack and darby spend 75% of the match beating each other up alone backstage. jack hits darby with the bus, darby sets jack on fire. it's lovely.

if you haven't seen the video that leaked of jack preparing for the fire spot in the early part of 2024 with a stunt team, it's worth watching. (no sound)

darby is out again to recover since i don't know how he managed to get clear for AITA in the first place, and then he comes back with an obsessive single-mindedness to call out jack perry by beating up brandon cutler. jack then also beats up brandon cutler in the strangest mating rituals i've ever fucking seen lmao. INTRICATE RITUALS!!

that's all i've got right now, but hopefully this ends up being a decent overview of all the stuff i tend to reference in my fics. 💚💚💚 sorry tumblr won't let me embed these videos in here, but it kept crashing the draft, so i had to revert them all just to links. homophobia.

#junglecorpse #it's the story primer!!!!#i think this is largely everything i can find that pertains to THEM #obviously i have like a 25-page doc of everything jack has ever done #because i am feral about him #but these are the junglecorpse bits hahaha #I HOPE THIS CAN BE HELPFUL FOR NEW PEOPLE!

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svnnyd4ys · 1 month ago

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more sfth plays as Richard Siken quotes

if anyone wants me to explain why i chose these quotes just lmk and i'll like do an analysis or smth!!

plays 12-22~

BUS. "He's pointing at you with a glass of milk as if he's trying to tell you there is some sort of shining star buried deep inside you, and he has to dig it out with a knife." (the dislocated room - Crush)

ALL EYES ON NIGEL "Let's say the Devil is played by two men. We'll call them both Jeff. Dark hair, green eyes, white teeth, pink tongues- they're twins. The one on the left has gone bad in the middle and the other one on the left is about to. As they wrestle, you can tell that they have forgotten about God, and they are very hungry." (you are Jeff - Crush)

NO! I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THAT CARAVAN "The hunter's son watches the hunter. The hunter paints more rings onto his glasses. Everything is a target, says the hunter. No matter where you look. The hunter's son says nothing, and closes his eyes." (the stag and the quiver - War of the Foxes)

WET, WILD & WORRISOME "The fisherman's son knows nothing worth stealing. Perhaps, perhaps. He once put a cat in a cardboard box, but she got out anyway. He once had a brother he lost to the sea. Brother, dead brother, who speaks to him in dreams. These are a few things worth saying." (war of the foxes - War of the Foxes)

THE CARDBOARD STEGOSAURUS "I wanted to fall down right there, but I knew you wouldn't catch me because you're dead. I swallowed crushed ice and pretended it was glass and you're dead. Ashes to ashes. You wanted to be cremated, so we cremated you and you wanted an adventure so I ran and I knew you wouldn't catch me. You are a fever I am learning to live with, and everything is happening at the wrong end of a very long tunnel." (straw house, straw dog - Crush)

THE INGREDIENTS "The sooner you embrace it, the sooner it will leave you. Okay. The bruise: milk-yellow. You are what you cover up." (glue - War of the Foxes)

THE EXCITED CHINCHILLA "You wanted happiness, I can't blame you for that, and maybe a mouth sounds idiotic when it blathers on about joy but tell me you love this, tell me you're not miserable." (seaside improvisation - Crush)

THE PRIME MINISTER'S FIRST DAY "Every morning the same big and little words all spelling out desire, all spelling out You will always be alone and then you will die. So maybe I wanted to give you something more than a catalogue of non-definitive acts, something other than desperation." (litany in which certain things are crossed out (GOATED) - Crush)

THE LEFTENMOST WINDOW "The voice wants to be a hand and the hand wants to do something useful. What did you really want? Someone to pass this with me. You wanted more. I wanted what everyone wants. He raises the moon on a crane for effect, cue the violins. That's what the violins are for. And yes, he raises the moon on a crane and scrubs it until it shines. So what does it shine on? Nothing. Was there no one else? Left-handed truth, right-handed truth, there's no pure way to say this." (unfinished duet - Crush)

THE NEIGHBOUR'S UNDER THE BED "I wanted to explain myself in an understandable way. I gave shape to my fears and made excuses. I varied my velocities, watched myself sleep. Something's not right about what I'm doing but I'm still doing it-" (birds hover the trampled field - War of the Foxes)

THE MILKMAN "More love streaming out the wrong way, and I don't want to be the kind that says the wrong way. But it doesn't work, these erasures, this constant refolding of pleats. There were some nice parts, sure, all lemondrop and mellonball, laughing in silk pyjamas and grains of sugar on the toast, love love or whatever, take a number. I'm sorry it's such a lousy story." (litany in which certain things are crossed out - Crush)

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thesilliestrovingalive · 2 months ago

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Updated: November 7, 2024

Reworked Character #8: Clark Still

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to death and human experimentation.

Real name: Clarkeston Vince Stillwater

Esper title: Avatar of Flora, Wind, Vitality Syphoning, and Physical Adaptability

Alias: Tepid Strength

Occupation: Lieutenant Colonel of the Ikari Warriors and a tactical spy for the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. (formerly)

Retirement plans: Live in a cabin near a lake abundant with fish and become a professional photographer

Special skills: Survival mastery in many kinds of rough terrain, proficiency in wrestling and grappling, gathering information for missions, sniping with lightweight firearms, and ichthyology

Esper abilities: His go-to esper ability is the Super Argentine Backbreaker, which allows him to effortlessly lift and hurl a vast array of targets into the air, including humans, Martians, Invader Drones, smaller mutants, zombies, mummies, Sasquatches, medium to large-sized tanks, and helicopters. With this ability, he can catch his opponent up to three times in rapid succession, slamming their back into their shoulders before driving them forcefully into the ground.

He’s invincible to weak physical attacks, bullets, and smaller missiles, and can cut through almost anything by generating telekinetic soundwaves with swift hand movements. When activating his infrared x-ray vision, he can see through walls and perceive the heat signatures of people. He has three frilly fish gills located underneath the area of his lungs, allowing him to adapt to an underwater environment. He possesses the cunning predatory instincts of a fox, the acute hearing of a deer, and the swift running speed of a rabbit.

He possesses the ability to manipulate the motion and intensity of wind as well as control the growth, decay, and movement of flowers and vines. He possesses an additional pair of lung-like organs situated on his upper back, between his spine, connected to a pouch located directly behind the pharynx and pointing towards the opening of his mouth. This pouch is sealed by two wrinkled skin flaps covered in mucousal hairs. It can be opened to release a purplish-green breath that contains a deadly poison, causing brain hemorrhaging and organ dysfunction. Clark is immune to the poison contained within his specialised lungs, but occasionally, he inadvertently inhales air into that specific organ. It triggers a cough due to the irritating sensations and causing him to release a small amount of his toxic breath.

His skin contains four types of microscopic pigments: xanthophores, iridophores, melanophores, and leucophores. Unlike other animals, he possesses exceptional control over these specialised colour-changing pigments, enabling him to seamlessly blend into his surroundings. Additionally, he can temporarily render objects and people invisible by scratching or spitting on them. Clark can open the small, closed holes located slightly below the centre of his palms, revealing a seven-petaled flower-like structure. From this, he can extend cartilage pipes covered in spikes with a metallic bronze sheen and a blunt, tri-holed tip from which flame-coloured veins are released. He uses the pipes to pierce the hearts or brains of individuals, utilising the emitted veins to syphon their life energy, thereby healing his wounds, revitalising his physical strength, and preventing his own demise.

Hobbies: Reading books on interesting subjects such as the biology of fish and the history of secret societies, collecting guns, playing casino games, photography, and fishing

Likes: Rugby, his sunglasses, reading gun catalogues, successful fishing expeditions (especially when he catches rare fish), and sharing a couple of drinks with Ralf

Dislikes: The awkward movement and gimmicky controls of the Slugs, being woken up by loud construction noises, people doing obviously stupid things, betrayal of trust, and arson

Favourite food: Oatmeal, tuna and onions pizza, and caramel and cheese popcorn

Sexuality: Heteroromantic asexual

Gender: Male

Age: 23 (in 2022), 29 (in 2028), 31 (in 2030), 33 (in 2032), 35 (in 2034), 42 (in 2041), 44 (in 2043), 45 (in 2044), and 48 (in 2047)

Blood type: A-

Weight: 231 lbs. (104 kg)

Design: He’s a 6’ 3” (190.5 cm) Canadian mesomorph with an inhumanly imposing build, robust musculature, and semi-sloping shoulders. He features light grey eyes flecked with magenta, warm beige skin, and a hairstyle reminiscent of Clark's dialogue portrait from KOF XIII, but with distinct differences: his locks are now rose gold with subtle curls, having previously been honey blonde before undergoing experimentation. His back is a dark green adorned with light yellow spots, while his belly boasts a creamy white hue, subtly outlined with a pale red.

A large patch of burned flesh extends from his left cheek, across his deltoid and shoulder, to the back of his trapezius. He bears a series of small scattered cut marks and a few stab wounds on his arms and torso. Additionally, he has two gunshot wounds, one located above his right kidney and the other near the left side of his navel. He has a long jagged scar on his right cheek, running from the underside of his ear to the centre of his upper lip. The skin on his arms and legs is a charred bluish-black and a few violet-threaded switches crisscrossing the centres of his forearms and thighs. His limbs can be a tad stiff at times, so he often asks Fio to give his limbs a well-kneaded massage.

Clark’s military gear consists of a light cyan tank top, a Bondi blue headband around his neck, and purplish-black elbow and knee pads. He always wears a cobalt blue cap with an embroidered Canada jay with outstretched wings, holding an olive branch in its talons. He wears purple-tinted sunglasses to hide a scar on his glabella, caused by Ralf's careless handling of his combat knife. He wears a cobalt blue waterproof vest adorned with the Ikari Warriors logo on the back and lined with grey fox fur. A white magnolia flower is pinned on the left side, just above his deltoid muscle.

He wears a fallow brown wristband with black spikes on his right hand and a blue-green glove with a black-trimmed silver-grey palm padding. He has cargo pants with an army green, brown, and silver-grey camouflage pattern, tucked into his Persian indigo jungle boots. Clark wears a fallow brown belt with six black pouches for bullets and a holster for his handgun. He also carries a Japanese violet waist pack that holds bandages, a small package of cotton swabs, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and four rechargeable batteries for his camera. He wears two black drop leg holsters, each featuring two pointed silvery stripes that form a triangular pattern, holding his combat knife on the right and an electrical baton on the left.

Over his tank top, he wears a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, carrying his walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. He wears two dark brown bandoliers, crossed in an X-shape, with the left one holding throwing knives and the right one holding ammunition for his handgun. Clark carries a fallow brown load-bearing backpack containing camping equipment, tactical explosives, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, a Black Aces Peacekeeper, a Minebea PM-9, a Benelli Supernova, a Mauser SP66, and a bluish-black digital camera. He also carries a comprehensive fishing kit, complete with various baits and lures, hooks, a rod, floats, monofilament lines, braided lines, fluorocarbon lines, and spincast, baitcasting, spinning, and fly reels. Additionally, he treasures a photo album filled with pictures he's taken from his teenage years to the present, holding it dear as a cherished keepsake.

He wears a pair of small silver hoop earrings and conceals a portable, jagged piece of Sol Dae Rokker's red gem in the left pocket of his cargo pants. The red gem appears to be powerless except when reacting to the presence of individuals with malicious intent or those who pose a potential threat.

Thanks to Tarma, he owns a key to access his periwinkle-coloured Velocette MAC motorcycle, which has dark cyan outlining.

Super Devil form: He’s a 16 ft (487.68 cm) animalistic entity with a slender build, disproportionately muscular arms, and a body encased in iridescent blue-grey scales. Clark boasts a feline head with the left side of his face gruesomely rotted, distinguished by rose gold fur, a silver-grey snout, and fallow brown eye patches. It has majestic Persian indigo elk antlers, elegantly adorned with white magnolia flowers and delicate patches of hanging moss. The head features two jutting fangs and luminous magenta eyes, accented with blue-green pupils. He boasts a majestic mane of fluffy light grey clouds and razor-sharp black claws that seem to be forged from a resilient, crystalline material. He wraps himself in a shawl of rippling bluish mist, surrounded by a light scattering of purple leaves that flutter around him, circling his head like a halo.

His fingers are adorned with light cyan webbing, while his back features six prominent vertical cobalt blue streaks. He possesses four majestic 17 ft (518.16 cm) Canada jay wings and an additional pair of arms situated on his inguinal regions. Clark’s lower half is that of a grey fox, featuring silver claws and twelve symmetrically arranged purplish-black eyes along both sides of its back, extending to the base of its tail. His tail, resembling that of a northern pike, boasts light yellow spots and pale red fins, but it's painfully entwined with a Bondi blue vine. The grey fox body's hind legs are replaced by fleshy, charred tree roots that twitch spasmodically and subtly ripple.

Character summary: He's a wise, introspective, hard-boiled, self-disciplined, and self-reliant pescatarian with a stoic demeanour, rarely showing emotion and possessing a taciturn personality. Initially shy and reserved around strangers, he gradually opens up and becomes more talkative and less aloof once he gets to know them. He exudes an unsettling calmness, intensely focused on his professional duties and the safety of others. While watchful and serious, he's not above showing a more playful side, engaging in witty banter and dark, dry humour. Clark often uses sarcasm to tease Ralf about his stubbornness and rowdiness, yet he deeply cherishes him as both his closest ally and surrogate brother. He genuinely worries about Ralf's well-being and will go to great lengths to ensure his happiness, offering comfort and support during difficult times. He frequently enjoys joking around with Ralf, while also keeping a watchful eye to prevent his friend from getting into trouble or engaging in destructive behaviours.

He’s fiercely loyal to Ralf, Heidern, Leona, and his comrades and friends, and will only consider betraying those close to him if presented with compelling reasons. He sympathises with Tequila, feeling that he unfairly bears the brunt of Gimlet's issues and is disappointed that Gimlet has forgotten many of the lessons he once learned from him. He serves as a father figure to Rumi, cherishing her company, particularly after a gruelling mission, and harbours concerns about her safety whenever she's deployed to the battlefield. He empathises with her struggles to overcome the trauma of losing her two closest friends, Chris and Alexander, and provides comfort during her darkest moments. He adores his pets, Sparky, a rambunctious and playful young charcoal Bengal cat with white “goggle” markings and black rosettes, and Mr. Kibleton, a grumpy but affectionate older chocolate smoke Exotic Shorthair cat. He’s devoted to giving them a happy and fulfilling life, providing attentive care and showering them with love and affection.

He has an incredibly close relationship with Leona, whom he views as the little sister he never had. He understands her struggles with forming social connections and respects her capabilities as a skilled fighter. He also holds her fearsome reputation in high esteem and values their mission partnerships, particularly when joined by Ralf and Fio. He maintains a warm rapport with Fio, appreciating her serene demeanour and exceptional culinary skills. Moreover, he actively supports her growth as a fighter, recognizing her aspirations to emulate the excellence of seasoned veterans Marco, Tarma, and Eri—a gesture Fio deeply appreciates. He regards Tequila as a wise, fatherly figure who inspires him, not just as a skilled covert agent and soldier, but also as someone who faces realistic struggles. He's genuinely surprised that Tequila hasn't retired yet, but understands that the Regular Army wouldn't readily let go of an esper with extensive military expertise.

He holds suspicions about the Regular Army's true activities behind the scenes. Certain things strike him as odd, such as special operatives being required to shoot innocent journalists on sight when they probe for classified information. He's also noticed that most people he's met, like Tarma and Alisa, seem brainwashed, displaying unwavering loyalty to the Regular Army and obliviousness to potential corruption. However, he keeps these thoughts private, having heard rumours that Regular Army whistleblowers face deadly consequences. Fearing for his safety, he prefers not to share his concerns with others.

Notably, aside from Ralf, he shows unexpected support and empathy towards those he genuinely cares about, offering a helping hand when they need it most. Clark is kind-hearted but brutally honest, harbouring a strong disdain for dishonesty, exploitation, and showboating. He has a low tolerance for liars, cheaters, and those who try to take advantage of him or his loved ones. With a keen eye for deceit, he isn't afraid to confront and expose wrongdoers, often calling them out in a blunt and uncompromising manner. He demonstrates significant respect for war veterans, elders, individuals he personally values as being heroic and level-headed, and authority figures who uphold moral justice.

He personally believes that everyone has the capacity to act in accordance with their own moral compass and make decisions based on their unique needs and values. Furthermore, he holds that every individual has an inherent and inalienable right to freedom and personal autonomy, and that suppressing this right is a violation of basic human dignity. It takes a lot for him to get angry, and when it happens, he appears menacing and difficult to approach. Clark gets easily annoyed when people do something he considers stupid or utterly absurd. He has a strong aversion to obstinate stubbornness and betrayal of trust, finding them frustrating and inconsiderate.

He's a light sleeper, prone to occasional sleep-talking and plagued by vivid nightmares that linger into the next day, haunting memories of the experiments he endured and the tragic loss of his parents and comrades. He has a melancholic and cynical side, and in the heat of battle, he sometimes trusts his instincts over strategic planning. Like Ralf, he enjoys diving headfirst into combat, using everything at his disposal, revealing his occasional impulsiveness and craving for adrenaline. He wouldn't hesitate to fiercely confront and verbally or physically shred anyone who tries to harm a child or one of his friends and comrades. He has some trauma that he's slowly coming to terms with, and a deep-seated fear of medical needles and laboratories, which causes him to panic when in their presence.

Backstory: Clarkeston Vince Stillwater was born on May 7, 1999 in Twillingate, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. He was born into a loving family that deeply valued the great outdoors, individual freedom, and their diverse expertise. His father, Kenrick Stillwater (commonly referred to as Kent), was a fisherman and a well-respected private detective, and his mother was a successful commercial photographer. He spent countless hours on fishing trips with his dad, Kent, who taught him the ins and outs of fishing, including which hooks and baits to use for each species. Kent also ignited his fascination with the criminal justice system and the complex psychology of criminals. Meanwhile, his mother nurtured his creative side, gifting him a digital camera and photo album on his sixth birthday. She guided him in taking professional-quality photographs, developing Polaroids, and exploring various photography genres.

At the age of 8, he tried out rugby and discovered a passion for the sport, although he only plays when he feels like it. He showed a natural talent for rugby, particularly when playing fullback during pickup games with friends in Crow Head at Sea Breeze Park. By the time he turned 11, he began regularly visiting a new library that had been built near his community two years earlier. He cherished the library's vast collection of intriguing books and the peaceful atmosphere, where patrons were genuinely quiet and respectful. His reading interests spanned various subjects, including criminology, military history, and the occult. He also enjoyed reading about secret societies, undercover operations, philosophical explorations of freedom, and ichthyology.

Before turning 12, he started experiencing symptoms such as persistent fatigue, chest pain, dizziness, recurring headaches, shortness of breath, and pulsatile tinnitus. As his condition worsened, he was forced to discontinue playing rugby altogether. This prompted concern from his parents, who quickly arranged a doctor's visit. Following a medical evaluation, he and his parents learned that he had been diagnosed with anemia, a blood disorder that runs in his father's family. The news disheartened him, but his parents did everything they could to keep him healthy, ensuring he received the best care for his condition. They encouraged him to continue pursuing his hobbies, focusing on those that were less physically taxing, such as reading and photography.

Despite his health complications, his life had been running smoothly, and he was doing alright in school, but this stability was short-lived. Just four months after his 14th birthday party, disaster struck. While he was asleep, his family home was engulfed in flames, set deliberately by unknown assailants seeking revenge against his father's refusal to comply with local criminal demands regarding fishing quotas. As the fire alarm blared, Clark caught a whiff of smoke and sprang out of bed, panic setting in as he heard the faint sound of firefighting sirens in the distance. In that harrowing moment, with smoke filling his lungs and fear gripping his heart, he experienced a sudden surge of energy coursing through his body.

Clark quickly ran out of his bedroom with his digital camera and photo album, desperately searching for his parents. But what he found was his mother, burning alive. Overcome with horror, he tried to exit the building, but the flames nearly trapped him. In a split second, he subconsciously summoned a harsh gust of wind, dissipating the flames and allowing him to escape. As he stumbled out, he saw Kent's lifeless body lying near the front porch, his throat slit and his face brutally stabbed multiple times. He broke down in tears, consumed by grief, cradling his father’s body in his arms. When the firefighters and police arrived, they were met with the devastating scene. One kind-hearted officer took Clark in, providing temporary shelter. Unbeknownst to him, the officer had also contacted the Regular Army. The next day, the Regular Army adopted him, providing shelter, food, clothes, and a new sense of purpose.

A few days after the incident, he received a revelation dream that unveiled his esper title and the key to unlocking his Super Devil form and harnessing his newfound abilities. However, the dream's cryptic nature left him struggling to fully grasp its meaning, hindering his ability to effectively wield his esper powers. Furthermore, he was physically weak due to his anemia, which made his esper training even more challenging and arduous. The Regular Army higher-ups took notice of his struggles and ordered the Amadeus Syndicate scientists to conduct experiments on him, aiming to enhance his abilities and overcome his limitations.

He doesn't recall much of this period in his life because he was constantly kept in a drowsy state. However, he recalls being injected with mysterious drugs that altered and reconstructed his muscles and brain chemistry, miraculously curing his anemia in the process. The experiments were agonising and left lasting scars, including charred bluish-black skin and stitches on his limbs. This incident would also cause him to have terrifying hallucinations, such as seeing blood pouring down the walls and hearing whispering voices that sang incoherent lullabies. It left him with a deep-seated fear of needles and laboratories as well as a profound mistrust of the Amadeus Syndicate. He discovered a new passion for wrestling and grappling, and began training in these disciplines to cope with the traumatising experiments, while also building his physical strength and self-defence skills.

During his basic training to become a peacekeeping scout for the Regular Army, he learned valuable lessons in discipline and camaraderie. However, he struggled to come to terms with intense feelings of abandonment and anger stemming from his parents' deaths. Tequila, noticing Clark's aloofness and difficulty connecting with others due to his timidity and unresolved trauma, approached him with kindness. He invited him to a trip to Yr Wyddfa in the Snowdonia region of North Wales, which Clark quietly accepted. The trip proved to be a turning point, as Tequila shared wise words on coping with his emotions and managing his past. From that day forward, Tequila became Clark's mentor, offering guidance and invaluable insights into the ways of a Regular Army soldier and Intelligence Agency agent.

After completing his training and successfully executing several missions as a tactical spy for the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. of the Intelligence Agency, Clark discovered a thriving mercenary group, the Ikari Warriors, was gaining popularity. He then attempted to resign from his position in the Regular Army, but initially faced resistance. However, following repeated requests, his superiors eventually accepted his resignation, recognizing that his unique expertise could be valuable in supporting the Ikari Warriors' missions by gathering crucial intelligence. He joined the Ikari Warriors after demonstrating his skills as a spy and esper by chasing down a disguised terrorist who had infiltrated the biennial tournament. He expressed his commitment to preserving global peace, earning his place among the team.

Upon joining, he befriended Leland and Eikichi, who were fascinated by his esper status and drawn to his kind and mellow demeanour. He also befriended Byron, bonding over their shared love of fishing. Clark’s heroics in single-handedly saving General Kawasaki's and 2nd Lieutenant Cook's mercenaries from a surprise counterattack by a powerful Mafia organisation earned him their respect. Later, he befriended Ralf, another esper, and they quickly became close friends after collaborating on a mission to take down a corrupt politician.

He frequently partnered with Ralf on numerous missions for the Ikari Warriors, including rescuing Elise, the U.S. President's daughter, from a criminal organisation and dismantling the Serapion Fellowship that was harming Latin America. For his heroism in saving the President's daughter, he received the Medal of Honor, but he prefers to keep it private, as he dislikes drawing attention to himself. His unwavering loyalty and impressive successes as a fighter and spy earned him a promotion to Lieutenant Colonel.

However, he and Ralf suffered a series of devastating losses, including the deaths of General Kawasaki, 2nd Lieutenant Cook, Eikichi, Leland, and Byron in separate incidents, each of which was difficult to bear. During General Kawasaki's funeral, he remembered Tequila's words that the white magnolia symbolises deep, unspoken trust. He incorporated the flower into his attire as a reminder of his loyalty to those he cares about, both living and deceased. According to popular belief, following Ralf's pivotal role in preventing a takeover of the United States, Clark played a key part in collaborating with Leona and Heidern to draw the Regular Army's attention and persuade them to establish a mercenary branch, ultimately forming an alliance with the Ikari Warriors.

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