#wowie zowie this was long but fun

[willows-peak]

jjk boys reacting to getting a morning wood next to you

ANONNN UR MIND <3333

*･ﾟ✧ JJK Men With Morning Wood

tags: multi character x reader, fem! reader, morning sex, thigh fucking, humping, handjobs, male masturbation, mutual masturbation kinda, the ittiest bit of degradation in toji's

word count: 4.9k wowie zowie

a/n: eek my first request...so happy. this was so fun to write ty anon, im supes sorry it took so long to write! i may have gotten carried away,, also TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS HOLY SHIT 🎉🎉🎉🎉should i do a milestone reward :o

NSFW UNDER CUT! MDNI

⋆｡˚ ♡ gojo: wakes you up and begs to fuck your thighs

Gojo woke with a startle, his body only lending him a few moments to adjust to his surroundings before he had to stifle a low groan into his palm, a dull, overpowering throb sending shocks of pleasure up his spine. He blearily glanced downwards to where he felt the heat starting to pool, his vision being blocked off by your body, pressed tight against his.

You were moving around in your sleep quite a bit, leg thrown across his own and arms wrapped tight around his chest. A quiet noise left his throat as he felt that jolt go through his body again, your hips moving up against his crotch just enough to graze across the head of his clothed cock, making him swear under his breath.

He'd found the culprit for his sudden awakening, but now comes the issue of taking care of it. The combination of sleepiness and horniness was making his head feel foggy, eyes darting around the softly lit room for any kind of distraction he could find for himself. Now he knew why you always made a fuss when he clung to you in bed, it was near impossible to move around and touch himself without waking you.

He bit his lip tightly as he felt his cock jump up in his boxers, eyes drifting back to your body innocently leaning onto his. The time on the clock read '10:20 am', much past the normal time you would wake up normally. You wouldnt be *too* upset if he just..?

"Baby.." he whispered, the arm encompassing your waist shifting forwards to jostle your still body, making you whine against his chest and hug him closer in defiance. "C'mon baby, get up." he said, moving you again and giving him a louder whine in response.

Through his persistence, your head turned up and poking out from the bumps of his naked chest, eyelids lowered as you slowly started to wake up

“G'morning beautiful, sorry to wake you up like this” he chuckled, brushing a small section of hair from your face as he watched your eyes travel downwards, to how his erection poked against your inner thigh. “You don't gotta do anything, just please-” Gojo shuddered as you slowly grinded up against his tent, your soft voice making the fog in his head worsen. 

“Lemme fuck your thighs, alright baby? Please, it'll be quick, I promise” his chest rose up and down in quick, shallow breaths, stilling himself with all his might when the head of his dick slipped snuggly into the dip of your thighs, right underneath your panty clad pussy. “Please, sweet thing? I'll make you cum too, promise” he ran his hands down to your hip, pressing his lips together when you let out the softest moan.

Still too sleepy for talking, you nodded into his collarbones, spreading your legs apart enough for Gojo to slip inside them. Gojo almost moaned at the display in front of him, hushed praises and thanks coming from his lips as he hurriedly slipped down his pants and boxers, sighing in relief when the uncomfortable pressure of his underwear was finally gone.

Gojo's hand made quick work slipping his pants down to mid way down his thighs, moving his fingers to lightly press against the crotch of your panties. “Shit…” he whispered, feeling the way your pussy was already starting to wetten up for him. “Have a good dream about me, huh?” he teased, rubbing slow circles on your clit before replacing it with his length.

He could feel you clench around nothing through the thin fabric, a shudder erupting through his lower half as you slowly closed your legs back around his cock. He groaned under his breath at the warmth enveloping him, chuckling and pulling his hips back. “Shit, you feel good… where’s the lube, wanna make it feel better” he mumbled as he turned his body around to search through the drawers behind him, rummaging around loudly until he triumphantly brought out a small, almost empty bottle of clear liquid.

“Spread your legs again, this’ll make it feel good.” he spoke, a small *click* as he flipped the bottle open and squirted the liquid onto his deft fingers. As he massaged it into the plush of your thigh, his thumb caught underneath your panties, pulling the fabric to the side smoothly. His lubed fingers came to spread your lips open, the cold morning air blowing across your sensitive cunt and making you shiver from the exposure. ‘Satoruu..” you whined, feeling his cock slide up your thigh to rest right against your pussy.

“Close em, fuck, I don’ think I can stay still for long” he whispered, his large body coming to hold your lower half flush with his own. You whimpered and wordlessly followed what he asked, moaning softly at the feeling of his firm cock grazing *so* slowly across your pussy.

“That’s the shit, god.. such a good girl for me” Gojo whispered, his voice sultry and practically dripping with heat as he grinded up into your thighs, his dick gliding across the wetness of your pussy and perfectly rubbing against your clit. “Hold onto me baby, I’m not gonna be gentle.”

⋆｡˚ ♡ getou: kisses you awake and humps your leg

Getou carefully turned himself around, keeping note of your tight grip against his sides and letting himself relax back against the warm sheets as he shifted himself closer to you, his fingers coming to cradle your soft hair as his lips met with your face.

Ever since getting with you, Getou had gradually lost interest in getting himself off, especially in the mornings like this. he could feel the way his half hard erection slowly filled out his pants more as he drunk you in, his lips taking their time to press against each and every crevice of your face.

He could feel you start to stir, your soft eyelashes slowly cracking open to meet with his gaze, lowered with his pupils expanded to cover the majority of his eyes.

He pulled away just enough to give you room to yawn, his hand sliding down the front of his body to grope at his cock as you greeted him, voice crackly and quiet. "Good morning hun" Getou spoke, his voice gruff right against your ear as he resumed his onslaught of kisses.

"Mm-" you tried to get out a word of questioning as to why he was so affectionate, but your lips quickly turned into a home for Getou's, tenderly kissing you. You could feel low, muffled groans being thrust into your mouth as he lifted your face up to meet with his better. “Sugu-” you gasped, pulling away only to be hungrily brought back to his lips.

“Shh, stick out your leg f’ me, baby” Getou ordered, smiling when you wordlessly obeyed him. You gasped again as your knee brushed over his bulge, Getou’s free hand coming down to hold it still. “Feel that pretty girl?” he asked, watching you nod and try to press harder against him. “Think you can help out with this?” he offered, biting his lip in arousal at how quickly you agreed with his request.

His grip on your thigh loosened, just enough to give you the wiggle room to grind down into his erection. His raspy, deep voice filled your ears as he ground his hips down into your hard knee, hand climbing up to grope at your butt and snickering when you squeaked in surprise.

“So nasty..” you murmured, watching with bated breath as he caressed the back of your thigh tenderly. “Only for you, sweet girl… fuck, keep doin that-” he grunted out, your knee pressing up against his balls slightly as he humped against you.

He’d slipped up to grinding against the meat of your thigh by now, whispers of your name escaping from his lips as a small, barely noticeable spot of wetness started to seep through the fabric of his sweatpants. “Sugu, kiss me again, please” you begged, barely needing to wait before geto’s lips came crashing onto yours. His thick, hot tongue eagerly pressed through your parted lips, grinning into the kiss as his tongue twirled around yours.

Your body quickly flushed warmly under his strong hold, feeling how pulsed and ground hard against your thigh, your breath catching in your throat when his tongue dipped up to the roof of your mouth, licking along the length of it before pulling away for a gasp of air. “So fucking sexy, baby girl, god- say my name baby please” Getou moaned, the grinds against your thighs speeding up sloppily. Getou could never control himself when he got like this, so desperate for an orgasm he’d take anything you gave him as long as it got him off.

“Suguruuu-” you drew out your words, half moaning and half whining as he raised your leg to grind back down into your knee. “Yeah, that’s right, say it louder f’ me” Getou purred, panting as his hips thrusted down onto your leg. You spoke his name again, feeling your pussy thump in tandem with your heart at Getou’s husky moans filling the thick air around you two. “Wanna see me cum, beautiful?” he asked, voice lifting as his body grew closer to orgasm already. “Mmmhm, please Sugu lemme see” 

Getou fumbled with the band of his sweatpants clumsily, pulling them down to reveal his flushed red cock, the stain of pre cum much bigger now against the dark gray cotton fabric. You squirmed as Getou slid his lubed cock onto your bare thigh, rubbing down against the warm, soft skin and shivering softly. “Keep your eyes here, got it?” He whispered, forehead pressed against yours as the two of you watched his hips quickly pick up pace against your leg, raunchy sounding groans and chants of your name falling from his lips carelessly.

“Shit- y’ so good to me baby, so fucking good” Getou stumbled out, hair falling around the two of you as his head bowed down in pleasure. “Touch it honey, please, wanna cum for you” You gasped in arousal, warmth pooling down in your stomach as you quickly stroked the base of his dick, letting your fingers caress down onto his balls when your palm reached the bottom. 

“*F-fuck* yes, cumming, I’m cumming, oh my *god*-” Getou groaned loudly, body trembling and curling into itself as his cock throbbed harshly against your thigh, cum leaking out of his tip and coating the skin of your leg and your hand. You slowed your hand down as Getou rode out his orgasm onto you, uneven bucks and thrusts up against you making you whimper under your breath from how hot you felt.

Getou continued to let out broken noises as his orgasm slowly simmered down, weakly grinding down into the puddle of cum he’d made. He let out fast, shuddered breaths as he rested against you, rubbing your thigh and kissing your forehead gently. Getou used his free hand to cup your chin, lifting it up to meet with his foggy, pleasure hazed eyes. “Don’t worry honey…I’m not done yet” Getou purred, gaze falling down to the way your thighs squeeze together.

⋆｡˚ ♡ nanami: jerks himself off to not disturb your beauty sleep

Nanami let out a drawn out sigh as he snuck his hand downwards, carefully scooting the blankets aside for his hand to get under them. He was hard, and badly at that. And while he didn’t at all blame you for this, he’d noticed that he’s started getting more intense morning wood when you’re with him, leading to him having to carefully wrap his hand around his erection and get himself off without waking you up.

He also, never seemed to realize he could simply turn over and plop you down on the empty bed space next to him until after he was done, discreetly wiping himself off and nudging you awake. He has to pretend he doesn’t know why it slips his mind, even though he knows good and well why he chooses this riskier route. 

Some gross, locked away part of him loves thinking about waking you up by feeling his thick cock pressed against your hole through your panties, his hand quickly stroking himself through orgasm as you moaned at the wet feeling of his cum soaking you. Knowing you, he’d be met with the sweetest moan of his name as the after shocks of his orgasm faded over his body, pressing your hips down against his abdomen.

He held back a noise at that thought, his fingers finally ghosting over his pre cum soaked tip, rubbing small circles across the hole of it before working his way down his shaft. He focused on keeping his breathing steady as you dozed off on his chest.

Staring at the ceiling above him as he bit his lip with concentration. You were, thankfully, not a light sleeper, but he’d rather avoid the embarrassing notion of you waking up to him like *this*.

Nanami had done this many many times before, so he knew exactly what to think of to get himself off quick. Not that it ever took long with you, he could count the amount of times he’d nearly cum on the spot when you shimmied your panties off, a string of wetness clinging to your sensitive, pulsating cunt, your swollen clit peeking between the pink-ish folds. The few times when he’d come home tired and ready to either crash into your arms or the bed, when you’d so lovingly take care of him by riding the soul out of his body.

God, he wanted that so badly right now, watching your ass ripple from how hard you were slamming down onto his cock, moaning his name as he felt your hole twitch around him, the unmistakable way you’d quiver and still yourself as you came around his cock, whimpering and squeaking out high pitched little noises as he fucked up into you through your orgasm. 

*‘Later’* Nanami promised to himself, feeling his chest begin to rise and fall rapidly as his hand pumped his cock, holding back sighs and grunts of pleasure as his arm stood as still as possible, his wrist rapidly falling up and down as he fisted his cock.

His hands rapidly squeezed along his thick shaft, desperate to mimic the way your pussy would clamp down so tightly when he bottomed out inside of you.

He was quick to move his hand off your waist, and over his mouth as he nearly moaned out loud at the thought, silently cursing his memory for being so detailed in this moment. He froze stiffly as he felt you start to stir in your sleep, sleepily reaching out before he joined his hand with yours. He sighed shakily, speaking lowly to not wake you further, his hand still grazing across the sensitive veins alongside his cock. “Shh, go back to sleep dear, I’m here.” He could almost laugh at how easily you fell limp back against him, your breathing slowing back down and a one off snore leaving your throat.

He gently held onto your hand, the fist still around his cock now picking up speed, wet sounds being poorly muffled through the blanket as he leaned his head back against the pillows. The adrenaline from just now only fueled onto his racing heart and sensitivity, hand clamping down onto yours as he could start to feel his orgasm quickly approaching him. 

His teeth grit together subtly, holding back swears as his legs tensed up, his fist slapping loudly down against his dick as his stomach tightened. “Shit-” he swore, his orgasm overtaking him before he could prepare for it. His fist rushed up to close down over his dick, covering his tip as it leaked out thick spurts of his cum. He held his breath in his throat as he trembled, pressure mixing wildly with the fading anxiety of being caught and the pleasure of his hand pushing down across his girth.

He let out a deep sigh as fresh air filled his lungs, his heartbeat loud and clear in his ears while his cock started to soften. He breathed out in relief, glancing downwards at your peaceful figure, none the wiser at what he’d done.

Now, to clean this up before you stirred again..

⋆｡˚ ♡ toji: tries to will it away bc he doesnt feel like taking care of it, doesnt work. u wake up and take care of it for him

Toji grunted under his breath at yet another twitch of his erection, rubbing almost painfully against the starch material of his boxers. He'd been laying like this for a while now, achingly hard with you happily snoozing on his chest, unaware of the predicament he was in.

The rational decision to make here would be to wake you up, or even reach into his pants and get himself off, but it was a *little* hard to do that when one shuffle of his leg got him a whine of complaint and you shimmying back up on his body, getting yourself comfy again before falling back asleep.

And since Toji was *such* a gentleman, how could he disturb your beauty sleep and get himself off?

"Fuckin' hell..." Toji spoke softly, the pressure of your warm body laying on top of him, giving his dick the barest hint of stimulation driving him mad, slowly but surely. There was always the idea of grinding his hips up and jerking himself off with the plush of your thighs, but he knew that'd only result in you grumpily waking up from his cum coating you, glaring at him with those sweet eyes of yours, wiggling your pretty hips over his softening cock, and drowsily cursing him out for wasting his load on your leg like that-

A sharp pulse through his dick ceased his thoughts, making him loudly groan into the morning air. He heard you make a small squeak at the sudden sound, looking down and smirking. “Mornin’ princess” he greeted, his low voice carrying through the quiet air, much to your displeasure. “Y'ur hard…” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes and leaning your hips back to cradle over his tent. 

Toji grunted at the feeling of you lazily grinding down against him, laughing and placing his hands behind his head. “Yeah, I am. Whatcha wanna do about it?” his lips cracked open into a toothy grin, watching the way you sleepily glowered up at him, raising yourself up by the arms and pushing yourself backwards on his lap.

You stifled a yawn into your arm, your ass colliding with Toji’s sturdy abs and making you lose your balance for a small second, your eyes shooting open on instinct. “Careful, now” Toji replied, ever the helpful one as he looked you up and down decidedly. Despite your attitude in the mornings, Toji loved when you got like this, moody, sulking from being awake 'so early' as you'd put it, but not ever hesitating to make him cum all over your pretty fingers.

“You couldn't do it y'self?” you asked accusingly, now seated right below Toji's bulge, your smaller hand pressing down against his length. “Nah, you do it better” Toji said snarkily, watching your eyes roll as you slipped down his sweatpants. For as annoyed as you always looked when he woke you up with his hard on, your eyes almost glittered from how wide they'd get, staring at his thick cock poking out from the band of his underwear. 

“Go on mamas, it won't bite.” He teased, groaning under his breath at your hands quickly pulling the last piece of clothing off him, your fingers pinching over his tip to lube his cock with his pre cum. “Dirty girl..” he commented, his voice much too confident for your liking. “Zip it.” you glared up at him, watching him run his pointer and thumb across his mouth in a zipper motion, the silence immediately being broken when you squeezed your hand around the base of his cock.

With a kiss of your teeth, you quickly began jerking him off, your hand twisting up near the tip before slamming back down at the base, making him let out a pleased moan. He knew you loved when he got vocal, so he made sure to put a little more effort into telling you how good you were doing for him. His sugar sweet girl, so cute even when she was being so slutty like this, manicured nails struggling to meet as they stretched over the girth of his fat dick. Your cheeks flushed as you continued, trying to subtly wiggle your hips as his words sent jolts of arousal straight to your cunt.

“Don’t stop, baby, fuck-” Toji let out, head tilting to the side as he never took his eyes off of you. “You better make this up t’ me, Toji” You murmured, cheeks feeling hot at his heavy gaze, making you feel surrounded by him even as you laid across his flexed thighs. “Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you with my fingers after you make me cum? Make that pretty pussy squirt?” You barely stifled a whine at his brash words, Toji laughing under his breath when he felt the way you tried to grind down against him.

“Yeah, that’s what my girl wants. Fuck, c’mon and make daddy cum, lemme get my hands on you.” Toji groaned, chest rising up and down as you added your other hand to stroke him. He swore at the sight, his brain fogging with arousal at how even your two hands struggled to handle his dick. Toji’s mouth struggled to stay closed as he could practically *feel* how desperate you were now through the way your hands moved, milking his dick effortlessly and making the coil in his stomach tighten fast.

“Fuck- open your mouth baby, yeah that’s it, *shit*-” Toji’s arms came down to grip at your hair, holding your head still as your tongue lolled out of your mouth, drool beginning to run down the tip of it as he came on your face. You watched through your lashes at how his eyes rolled back, hand covering his face as he groaned lowly, warm cum coming out quickly and covering your lips. 

Your hands came to a stop when Toji’s iron grip on your hair loosened, his body falling back against the bed as you swallowed what had gotten in your mouth. You made a small sound of annoyance as your hand was now covered in Toji’s cum, your thumb rubbing against your plush lip and gathering a stray drop of cum from them. Glancing back down at your boyfriend, you could see him facing you yet again, a grin making its way back onto his face.

You yelped loudly as you felt your body get dragged up Toji’s body, hovering over his stomach with your legs spread open widely. “Whatcha doing with your panties still on? C’mon baby, show me what I wanna see.” Toji purred, licking his lips when you shyly brushed the crotch of your underwear to the side. “*That’s* right…”

⋆｡˚ ♡ choso: wakes up and asks if he can fuck you

soft clicking across a keyboard filled choso's ears as his brain slowly came into conscious, a vision of you seated on your side of the bed, leaning back comfortably against the pillows as you typed away at your laptop. choso let out a shocked sound as he tried to scoot closer to you, his pajamas unreasonably tight around his crotch and making his body shiver with sensitivity.

You paused your writing at the noise, shutting it and turning your head over to him. "Good morning cho" You smiled down at him, the morning glow of the sun casting highlights across your chest and collarbones, the loose fitting night gown you sported hiding nothing from Choso's rapidly growing imagination. He felt his leg twitch up at another jerk up against the cotton of his pants, a quiet gasp getting pushed from his lips in surprise.

Your laptop had been placed on the floor by the bed at this point, your body turned over to face Choso while your fingers went to caress his flushed cheeks. “‘M hard” he croaks out softly, making you giggle and nod “I can tell, baby.” he pushes himself up with his forearm slowly, moaning under his breath when his dick grazed against his thigh. “Need you, c’mere, please” he rasped out, tossing the blanket off of him and watching how your eyes dropped down to his tent. 

Your body quickly came to lay back down next to his, lifting your nightgown up to reveal your bare body underneath. Choso moaned shamelessly at how you looked, running his hands across your soft stomach all the way down to the small slit hidden between your thighs. “Thank you, thank you, gonna make you feel good, promise-” he purred out, leaning down to kiss you as his thick fingers quickly made their way to pulling down his pants. 

“So needy, aren't you baby?” you teased lightly, watching excitedly as Choso’s hard cock bounced out of his boxers, slapping the dip of his abs with a quiet ‘pwip’ sound. He nodded along breathlessly, hands gripping the fabric of his underwear tightly as you spread your legs, grinding your bare pussy down against his shaft. You shuddered when you felt it twitch up against you, Choso poorly hiding a whine into his hand as he grabbed your hips, pressing his lips together and pulling his underwear down to his knees.

Your nightgown, previously bunched up midway up your tummy, was now being pulled off leisurely by you, Choso quickly coming to cup his hand underneath your chest. “Yes yes, thank you, won’t take long I promise- *ohh god*” he spoke, voice unsteady and breathy as he prodded his tip against your hole, eyes threatening to roll up when he felt how easily you sucked him in. 

You moved your hips down to meet with his cautious thrusts up, tightening around him as he slowly, so slowly inched his way inside of you. “Haahh- so tight” Choso vocalized, looking up into your eyes as he started to bottom out inside you. Choso had been made aware he was *much* bigger than average, so he’s always been extra careful when sheathing inside of you, mind being driven into filth at the way your pussy would so eagerly swallow him up, hole stretched wide over the base of his dick, your wetness seeping out and coating the front of his balls. 

“Need this so badly, need you” Choso chanted, your name feeling like pure sugar on his tongue as he moaned it. The way you felt, stretched taught all the way down to the bottom of his dick, wet and hot and tight as he reeled his hips back, sighing out so softly as he kissed along your neck made his body feel tingly with pleasure. 

To Choso’s credit, he was honest when he said he wouldn’t take long. With a simple plea in his ear, and a clench down around him, he was wordlessly rutting up into you, his thumb coming down to rub quick circles across your swollen clit. Breathless little ‘ah- ah- ah’s’ spilled from his lips into your shoulder as your leg hooked around his waist, hugging him close as he sloppily fucked into you.

“Sorry, ‘m already, *ah* already close, can I? Inside?” Choso asked, his words broken and strained as his hips effortlessly rammed up into your pussy, filling it out so perfectly that it was impossible not to dumbly nod along with anything Choso asked for. His eyes sparkled as they started to get misty, teeth clenching together while his hands held your hips still, abs tightening as his body chased after his orgasm that was rapidly approaching.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum, go-” Choso’s begs were cut off by your lips crashing down into his, his moans being drank down by you as he came instantly, shaking in your grasp as he thrusted up deeply into your pussy. The thumb on your clit never stopped as he came, stroking it alongside the bottom of the nub and whining at how it made you tighten down around him. “S-so *good*, can’ stop, plea-se” Choso cried into you, his arms stiffening into a tight grip that left no room to squirm or move away from him.

You whimpered and squeaked at Choso’s uneven, rapid thrusts up into you, his tip threatening to kiss your cervix as he sloppily rode out his orgasm inside you. You could feel the way his full balls emptied out as he grinded his hips down inside you, low groans vibrating against the skin of your neck and making you shiver when they reached your ear. You needily bucked up into him as his fingers pressed down onto your clit, eyelids lowering as your own orgasm was starting to form, just barely. Though, the feeling of tension left as soon as it came, Choso stopping his movements when he was done emptying his load inside of you

You made a noise of discontent as Choso’s thumb moved away from your pussy, clenching down weakly as he pulled out his softening cock from inside you. “Cho…I was gonna cum” You moaned, grunting as he flipped you onto your back. “I know..lemme use my mouth, please?” Choso uttered gently, his body crouched between your spread legs, with his eyes wide and hopeful staring up at you. You resisted the urge to smile as you nodded, shivering at how fast he dipped his head down between your legs

[jesuscrab]

Wowie zowie! Got tagged by @emperornero , epic... thx.

Last song - "JACK DA FUNK" from Bomb Rush Cyberfunk. I dont want to buy any new games at the moment so i cant play it, but ive been listening to the soundtrack and its soool good! I love dj set type music. Idk how hideki naganuma makes such funky beats. Listenting on the bus or while going to work sucks though since my adhd and autism makes me want to bounce around. Still, good music in my ears is always good.

Last film: beavis and butthead do america. My partner wqs watching clips on youtube and wanted to watch together. It was cool. I have zero experience with the show but i think it fully deseves the love, its so unique and funny, i loved it. Still have zero attention in the show tho.

It was funny looking it up on tumblr and seeing so much gay fanart of the two. Um, based?

Currently reading - nothing... i dont think ive read a proper book since i finished school. I often read short stories here and there online, but nothing major, nothing ongoing. I really need to get back into boos next year. I used to read so much as a kid - but i didint have a pc then lmao

Currently watching: ive started many things and havent come back to them yet. Watched few episodes of new clone high, watched two episodes of sopranos... wasnt in the mood these past two weeks to watch anything, sadly. So many things are on my list. ADHD moment!!!!

Current obssesion: my characters! Been developing a story for some time. I dont like talking about it but ive been thinking about my chatacters and stories everyday for sooo long. Its all i can think about! Its fun but sometimes suck since i have to make things myself if i want to see them. I love creating things so much! Feel like my head is gonna burst with how many ideas and thoughts i have.

Tagging @gearsphere , @jewish-kermit , @bushergug , and everyone else who wants to do it! If not for spam reasons i would tag so many pepole, so if you wanna feel free to tag me. Ha he!

[seismic-lawns]

Gladiator Big Talk: Foundations, Red

So on the gladiator discord, (Gladiator is a competitive singleton format using the Timeless card pool on arena and you should check us out, it's great) I do a series of long, hastily written thoughts on every single new-to-arena card and call them Big Talks. Foundations is a very big set, so I've decided to move them over here! Some notes:

This is comprehensively talking about every single new-to-arena card in the main set of Foundations. If I don't bring up a card, it's probably because it's already in the format or in Jumpstart Foundations, which I'll cover later.

I'm sorting this by collector number, which, for this set is somewhat baffling, so Ctrl+F is your friend if you want to find a specific thought.

Each card is also a link to it on scryfall, so you can follow along without having the full set open.

Without further ado, let's start off with Battlesong Berserker:

Battlesong Berserker: See my thoughts on Billowing Shriekmass (just a lil bit above). Replace “flier” with “menacer” and we’re on the same page.

Boltwave: I think this card won’t make it into our format, but we really are approaching the point where there can be a fairly dedicated burn deck. If I’m wrong on that though, then it probably doesn’t have a home.

Bulk Up: Power doublers are something you only want a couple of, but they can be incredible in the right home, and afaik this is by a good margin the best of these that we have access to.

Chandra, Flameshaper: I was very put off by a chandra that costs 7 but it gives off very similar energy to hope's beacon and these abilities aren't like sneeze at them abilities. That said, it doesn't copy a 2 drop you play for free off her, so who knows

Courageous Goblin: I think this is almost worthwhile in a RG stompy deck, where this just almost always gets to be a 3/2 for 2, but we also can just play 3/2s for 2.

Crackling Cyclops: Ngl this one goes kind of hard, and it’s kind of necessary to kill or block in a UR or RW blitz deck, and that’s ngl a lil scary.

Dragon Trainer: So, who’s out here building the jeskai blink deck to get a bunch of dragon tokens because it ain’t me.

Electroduplicate: Having a Twinflame with a bit more application is exciting, but it’s probably not your better option for combo applications. I would be happy to see this in big/medium red though, where it hits a sweet spot of having a high ceiling and having a purpose past just getting another etb.

Fiery Annihilation: We’ve had a few 3 mana deal 5’s, and this one is not the best, but it’s certainly a fine card in a replaceable slot. If, a year down the road, my seeded opponent in a finals is definitely going to be on equipment or a stoneforge package, I might sleeve this up.

Goblin Boarders: Call me a bad limited common, because I be Goblin without Boarders eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Goblin Negotiation: X damage spells that can’t go face have such a high bar to clear, and this one doesn’t get particularly close, though making a lot of goblins is a fun time.

Gorehorn Raider: So uh it’s time for Vibes Report: A+, holy hell this is a hot bullgirl and just wowie wowie zowie I’m a lesbian.

Incinerating Blast: Welcome back, 5 mana deal 6 with not super significant upside, we didn’t miss ya, bud.

Kellan, Planar Trailblazer: Good ol Savannah Lion stats are a great start, but, moreover, having further mana sinks that let you develop a board without committing more cards to it, and a 3/2 double striking end state is a great place to end up.

Rite of the Dragoncaller: This is a lot of work to start making dragons, and I feel like we’ve gotten fast enough in the format to push cards like this out more often than not, so I’m not confident we’ll see it show up often if at all.

Searslicer Goblin: Goblin machine go brr, this one's good. Being a cheap piker that doesn’t need to get into the red zone itself to get tokens is huge.

Slumbering Cerberus: I’ve been waffling on whether this is good or bad, but I think I’ve landed on it being good in control and decks that have Goblin Bombardment. 2 toughness is killer for this getting to attack well, and it ends up being a much more effective blocker than an attacker, and as an attacker this will get into awkward situations of being too readily tradeable to be worth the 4 power for 2 mana statline.

Sower of Chaos: Alright folks, time to get out to the fields to sow the seeds of chaos starts singing Oh, What a Beautiful Morning as he works.

Strongbox Raider: Damn they really want shock to be good in this limited huh. I think if this card were a 5/4 it could even be playable in our format, but yeah dying to a person in another game blowing their nose does a lot for shuttering its playability.

Twinflame Tyrant: This is cool and despite not having haste it does still double damage immediately. I might try it in sneak as a good surprise blocker/combat trick, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it in medium red.

Brazen Scourge: Look, I’ve spent the last couple of years disparaging a bunch of cards that are slightly better than a 3/3 haste for 3, and so it would be remiss of me to praise this batch of cute lil guys but damnit they’re so cute!

Burst Lightning: Most of our Shocks with upside aren’t meaningful enough to need to play it over regular literal shock, but Burst Lightning’s versatility do put it a step ahead of most competitors, enabling either cheap removal, as is more commonly used, or the ability to spend way more mana than desired (which is to say 2 more mana than you’d like) to be able to double the damage and clear a huge swath of possible creatures. I think I’d rather a strangle variant still, but this is almost certainly the best Shock you can add to your deck.

Firespitter Whelp: Yeah guttersnipe has been low grade for a while and this is a change but not like an amazing one. Also very weird that it’s a new card in the reprint section.

Flamewake Phoenix: This card has seen constructed play before in Hollow One decks, but those decks rarely sleeve the phoenix now, and that’s in 60 card, where the impact is a little less important. Here, phoenix is often a tool to rarely be seen in its ideal conditions, and the reward for doing so is a lot less impressive in the year 2024, especially when we do have options like Phoenix of Ash which are similarly easy to get on the battlefield, and one is way more impactful and pressuring than the other.

Frenzied Goblin: This guy is surprisingly good and maybe even playable in goblin typal decks, but it does kind of feel like a one-time use card once the board state develops to have 2 creatures opposite you. However, getting rid of a blocker and incentivizing being blocked itself is a valuable thing to have on a pivotal turn.

Goblin Surprise: I wouldn’t be surprised if a goblin deck got more traction after this release, and this could certainly make the cut in some lists.

Seismic Rupture: It’s always nice to see more uncommon attempts at sweepers, and this one feels like a pretty classic version of it, even if it’s a DTK special.

Slagstorm: It's not a good option of a sweeper but it is one of them. You just always want Bro’s End or Anger or Suns though, almost without question.

Dropkick Bomber: This one is interesting, and I think frankly you’ll play it for being a lord that can sometimes give game-ending evasion, even without thinking too much. It does 100% rely on a goblins deck coming together, though.

Skyraker Giant: Look, this guy having reach was a big deal when Origins was coming out, and now it’s so boring it’s gone from uncommon down to not being in the limited environment. That’s #progress.

Ball Lightning: don't make a balls joke don't make a balls joke don't make a balls joke don't make a ba-- UH ANYWAY i guess you can play it in monored, but it's a lil awkward when it folds to all the cheap removal pretty poorly 

Hoarding Dragon: This card is a really nostalgic card for me, and I’m not sure why, other than it was in my first core set and that leaves an impression, but it’s nice to see it at the rarity it deserves, because god it sucks ASS

Mindsparker: 3/2 first strike for 3 is almost enough to pique my interest, but I do think I want a little bit more, so if I’m pretty guaranteed to go up against a deck on Path/Get Lost or Cruise/Drain, I’ll probably sleeve this up at a season end.

Ravenous Giant: We just don’t have a huge need for medium red beef, especially on the ground these days.

Stromkirk Noble: I’m slowly warming up to this guy, but our suite of creatures is getting progressively more diverse, and this guy is very easy to block unless a decent chunk of work is put in. It might just be worthwhile in mono red though, and I wouldn’t be too surprised to see a vampires deck slot this in.

Taurean Mauler: This guy gets Huge and I think does legitimately slot into most red typal decks, and also just some decks that wants a beater that will likely be overstatted pretty quickly.

Gratuitous Violence: Yeah I think it is gratuitous and we don’t need the effect.

[non-boy-nary-archive]

tag meme my guys

tag meme

tagged by @waduheck that frickin gay

rules: 1. answer the new questions given by the previous person 2. write 11 new questions 3. tag 11 people

1. how many pets do you have if any?

3 dogs and a cat!!

2. whats a band/album that always feel like home to you?

OK GO, Jack Conte, Tally Hall and also the song DI4Y by Human Petting Zoo

3. whats your favorite kind of dessert?

cakes will always be my gotdam jam dude especially chocolate lava cake

4. if you had the money what sate/country would you live in?

colorado ho my  g od

5. whats ur favorite animal(s)

Samoyeds and big dogs in general and also my cat specifically sajkalslsajlas

6. do you prefer spicy stuff or sweet stuff

depends!! im a fuckin wuss so all “spicy” stuff i eat is like del taco mild sauce levels though askj;as

7. whats your one “weird food combo”?

fries and icecream but also bbq and nachos And Before You Say Anything

8. do you like the ocean? or is it a Big Fear

ye!! i cant go out to the beach much tho cause of good ol skin cancer tho but when i get the chance i like it

9. do you have a plushie that means alot to you? if so why (if u wanna share)

my pikachu plushie i made when i was like 10, my Pusheen doll and my Mew Pokedoll, all of them for sentimental reasons ajskas

10. whats one vacation spot you always look forward to going to? (if you have one)

Every time i go to colorado i have a good time. i went when i was Basically Dead and i still had fun 11. whats the one meme everyone is over tht ur still losing ur shit over?

bone hurting juice, Y E E T, kazoo covers and “two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart because they’re not gay”

my 11:

1) Who’s a YouTuber that you trust with your Life (aka who’s your Big Fave)

2) What’s your favorite clothing item you own? Any reason why?

3) An art style you really love? Give them a promo!

4) Favorite music genres? How about a song from each?

5) Do you like hugs? If so, do you like being hugged under the arms or over?

6) Favorite Pokemon? If you dont have one, favorite type?

7) Do you have a song you like that sounds better Nightcore’d?

8) What’s your favorite emoticon face? (see what i did cause its 8) ill be here all week)

9) Do you like dragons? If not, any other mythical creatures?

10) When you’re sad, do you listen to more sad/angry/emotionally charged music, or do you listen to really happy/uplifting/inspiring songs?

11) What’s one of your biggest interests right now?

if anybody wants to do this you absolutely can!!

[zombie-frisk]

Pages 99-100. In which the human is forced into a playdate with the flower.

First / Previous / Next

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[yandere--stuck]

Yandere!Freakazoid x Reader Headcanons

❗Ooo, ooo! Freakazoid knows all about being a yandere! With the entire knowledge of the internet within him, he automatically knows everything about the trope, inside and out! But, don'tcha worry, Freak may be crazy, but he'd never be that crazy! … Wink. And, hey! It's not like he had anyone in his life he'd go that cuckoo over - sure, he loved Steph, but she was just a friend! And he hated when Dex got bullied, 'specially by Duncan (that weenie!), but it never went beyond understandable concern and anger. And if Cosgrove ever got in danger…! Well, Cosgrove could just tell the bad guy to knock it off, and then he probably would. And then, he'd ask if Freakazoid wanted to go get a mint - and boy, would he! 

💻 Well, that is, until one day, out of the blue, Freak saw you! (Hey, that rhymed!) It was a usual day for him - chasing after The Lobe in his Freak-Mobile. It's not like it made him go any faster, but hey! It sold toys, didn't it? Plus, this was a big deal-arooni! Freakazoid didn't expect The Lobe to take hostages! Sheesh, what a jerk. Why couldn't he just go back to the Washington Gardens restaurant and sing that song again? Man, that was a good song… But, nooooo, Lobey just had to build a big machine that probably ended with "3000" to like, I dunno, kill Freakazoid and become the main character of the show. Good thing Freak knew just how to save the day! By licking the machine's electrical outlet and causing it to explode, not being harmed due to being, at least partially, made of electricity.

❗Freak makes sure to help Cosgrove free the hostages and make sure everyone's all okie-dokie-lokie! And that's when he meets (drumroll, please!)... You! And wowie-zowie, you were absolutely gorgeous! Like, holy smokes! And you made him blush a bright blue when you hugged him, called him your hero, and thanked him profusely. It made him feel all weird. Well, weirder than usual. Like, his stomach went all tipsy-topsy-turvy. He even coughed up a butterfly! How'd that get in there? Ohh, he couldn't help but hug you back. You were so cute! And maybe you'd notice his muscles, too… He heard Cosgrove ask if he wanted to get a turkey sub, but… This time, he declined. After all, it wouldn't hurt to take extra time to make sure you were okay!

💻 Even after he's sure you're hunky-dory and walked you home, Freak can't help but keep his mind on you - long after he'd return control to Dexter. Heck, he couldn't even focus on watching Rat Patrol! You were on his mind, all the time! You were like… Like… A computer virus! ... A really cute and nice computer virus that he wanted to get to know better. So, he did! Sure, it might eat up some of Dexter's time, but, hey, some sacrifices must be made! He's sure his best bud will understand - this was love we're talking about here! So, he tried searching for you around the city, but eventually gave in and just went back to your place! And he may or may not have snuck in, if you weren't home, taking a look inside. Oh, you had such cool stuff!! Almost as cool as you! He'll slip out just as you come back, only to knock on your door, asking you to hang out with him.

❗Freak loved going out with you! Gosh, it was just so much fun, and! It meant he got to spend time with his most favoritest person in the world - you! He listens intently as you talk about your life, your interests, your hobbies. He immediately searches up everything you mention, and in an instant knows most everything about it. It's so exciting! He's able to keep up with and relearn everything through you telling him! It's a win-win! Just hearing you speak makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Gosh, it makes it hard to even focus on crime fighting when all of him just wants to be about you all the time. He couldn't help himself! He loved you, and with every second his love grew deeper and more intense! He loved you like misery loved company, like the internet loved cats, like how everyone loved saying "huggbees" (Go ahead, say it!). He needed to find a way to love you and protect you from villains without it distracting him.

💻 So, he does the smart thing, and kidnaps you! Don't worry your sweet little head! This is for the best. He had saved you again! Saving you was protecting you, and you were supposed to protect the ones you loved. He'll keep you in the FreakalairTM to keep you all safe and sound, and Ingmar will take care of you while he's on duty. He hopes Dexter won't try to rescue you while in control, but he doesn't mind sharing if it'll placate him, if you catch his drift. Be prepared for Freakazoid to smother you in hugs and kisses every time he returns. He's almost constantly holding you in his arms, flush against his chest. Oh, he was absolutely obsessed, and it felt so, so good! He loved you so much. He'll protect you from anything - especially Jeepers! Sheeeeeeesh! What a creep!!! He'll make sure Jeepers lays off you and the beavers!!

[belphieslilcow]

Good morning! Or unless you are like me you haven't gone to bed yet lmao

I wanna say that I hope your day is filled with wonderful things! You get to enjoy your favorite food/drink, watch a movie or show you really really enjoy. Maybe something really lucky will happen? I hope! I made a color palette for you, but you will get that in the night time affirmation. (You get two today. I'm sending this at 3 AM, so for me it is still yesterdays)

Anyway, food for thought! Would Cassian survive Nightraven College? What dorm would they be in, and who is their bestie and LI (if they would have one)

And vice versa for Allister! What would their life be like at RAD?

ohohoho >:)c

first things first!! i did technically already go to sleep but just woke up at like 2 lol so it's both??

also ouughhh color palette :o

FOR OCS hmmmmm assuming they got like swapped but still experienced everything they already have

i imagine cass would be in diasomnia, not only would he feel more at home surrounded by the fae students in it as they're similar enough to demons but he likes the seepy tired vibes

ahhh cass would so be besties with idia and cater, i could see with kalim as well, dogboy besties lol

i dunno if he'd go for anyone, depending on how long the stay is, there might not be enough time to really get to know everyone and have that oh im in love with you actually moment, if it was for forever.... well that's a whole other pile of angst =w= (i'd say he'd be a bottom bitch for crewel but honestly he'd start crying and accidentally call him lucifer during sex very funny and very ough ouch)

-

ALLISTER TIME!!!

demons are a lot meaner than ur average nrc student i'd say and wouldn't take too kindly for this random guy showing up and replacing their beloved lil cassy wassy

for protection reasons he'd probs stay at purgatory hall while lucifer ran around in circles trying to figure out what the hell is going on

he doesn't feel very welcomed by anyone, but he'd probably have Someone to watch over him vis a vis mammon at the begining, but probs wouldn't be him

honestly maybe if we forgo purgatory hall altogether he'd could stay with mephisto in his big big house he's got and he could be his guardian demon, that'd be fun

he IS freaking out a bit but tires to remind himself that he's done this once before, he can adjust again, althoughhh meeting literally satan and lucifer is a biiiit different than seeing ppl disneybounding to the extreme

he is really interested is devildom plant life though!! seeing how theyre similar to human world plants (and stuff in twisted wonderland) he'd esp be into how they can grow with such low natural light levels, cause even though pants like that exist, seeing how Every plant can do that makes him go wowie zowie

-

for the sake of not too much angst i'd say they only swap for maybe a week to a month and while alli is greeted by like oh thank goodnees ur okay (grim is crying -w-) cassian isn't allowed to leave the house OR beel's arms until they all calm down

tbh once i get more involved with alllister this could be fun to write,,,

[yikesola]

First Line Fic Game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

@indistinct-echo ty ly bb for the tag 🥰 this is actually a fortuitous time as I just posted my 250th thing on ao3 and wowie zowie that's a big number alksjdf

idk who has already been tagged so pals i'm sorry for any doubles! <3 and also v sorry for anyone I forget to tag these are the most stressful part akskd

@ahappydnp @calvinahobbes @irrationalqueer @fictropes @strawberry-sunflower @sierraadeux @chickenfreeblog @dayevsphil @rawritsamehh@quercussp

the only pattern i can see is that I either make like ,, a hooky blanket statement, or I seem worried about telling you right away who the POV is :))

Phil doesn’t really think about it when he makes the extra click.

Phil hadn’t gotten more than single sentence texts in a week.

Dan checks his fringe in the reflection of the train window.

Phil is never saying no when his brother invites him to one of his weird DJ gigs ever again.

It’s an old habit.

Phil’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he makes his way to pick up some black hair dye among other non-essentials.

Phil slept like shit last night and his head is right on the verge of a headache, but doesn’t have the decency to actually be a headache.

Dan did not notice quite how late it had gotten.

There’s a lot of noise in Phil’s head tonight.

This was a terrible idea.

Phil opens a private browsing tab even though he’s the only one who uses his laptop.

Phil nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears a mug being set on the desk beside him.

Dan has made his best attempt to revise for tomorrow morning’s exam.

Among the other YouTubers, it becomes a little more evident just how low effort Phil’s costume is.

Filming with Dan is as fun as Phil’s memories of it, even though by now it’s been quite a long time since they have.

Phil is looking at his phone to double check that his train will be leaving in twenty minutes when he hears a kind of panicked whisper from right behind him.

It took a long while for Phil to become comfortable with silence.

Phil’s first jeans purchase post-Topman is risky.

Dan wonders if he’s ever going to miss this part.

Much of the house was designed with nostalgia.

[artificialac1d]

aswhoa there big ol spirit phone post whoaaaaa. (I WAS ORIGINALLY DOING ALL OF THE ALBUMS BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG SO I’LL DO INDIVIDUAL POSTS FOR THE ALBUMS) (NOT INCLUDING MASHUPS SORRY :[)

alright lets go sorry if theres spelling mistakes i am tired and my keyboard hates me ;[ spirit phone - ok so VERY COOL the first half i feel is supernatural and the second half is more like.... a comment on capitalism?? yeah,, idk either thats what most people say lol. thanks neil!! lifetime achievement award (ebiccc). very long (ab 6 minutes) BUT the length is worth it!! the lyrics are jammin not to mention the instrumental!! the singing is very chefs kiss let alone the effects on the singing!! very cool song. touch tone telephone!! (ttt) so ttt is VERY jammin but its a little overrated. I GET WHY, but it is definitely not the best song made by lemon demon. well i guess thats mostly up to interpretation, but its not the best. the message is cool!!! conspiracy theorist going fucking batshit crazy?? hell yeah!!  cabinet man (😳) how the fuc did this man get in cabinet???? hfgbrfj.. ANYWAYS the beep boop instrumental is one of THE BEST on the album next to the very epic instrumental of as your father i expressly forbid it. anyways, the lyrics and beat are v nice v satisfying!! i love singing this song like, only third to as your father and soft fuzzy man!! singing is hard :[ no eyed girl (where are her eyes???) neil is a monster/alien fucker and you cannot change my mind. no eyed girl is one of my favorite songs!! i mean all of the lemon demon songs are one of my favorite songs but... um,, ANYWAYS. imagine being some guy who just like, made the world get destroyed bc you were horny over an alien. when he died (holy fuck what is up with this dude) the amount of mysteries that are brought up in thius song is AMAZING. when i listen to lemon demon on alexa the only albums i have access to are nature tapes and spirit phone (because i use spotify and not apple music) and i hear this all the time!! its ALWAYS a good time very bangin very jammin 20/10 sweet bod (aha 😳 what do you mean im eating a dead body) neil?? are you sure it isnt sexual??? super synthy and cool!! the funk never ends!!! funky town!! never go down!! (im sorry) the idea of drinking dead bodies to cure cancer though not very cash money. wowie zowie capitalism!! the lyrics make me uncomfortable if im listening to it with someone else BUT if im alone i will  scream sing this song eighth wonder!! (goofy mongoose ends humanity) i heard like in the commentary that neil was proud of this song and honestly, i dont blame him. VERY jammin. i keep saying jammin but i dont have synonyms. i havent read that news article about gef but i should sometime!! the way the song just is is just mwah  ancient aliens!! (caveman go aaaaa) i dont have much to say about this one because it isnt my favorite. NOT because it doesnt jam hard but its just not as good as other ones. man i am mostly just praising neil. this is fun to sing!! instrumental is VERY cool bery epic,,, soft fuzzy man (hhhottie 😳) this is my FAVORITEEEEE i can say SO much about this song on how it JAMS. the little beep boop after the first part is GREAT I LOVE IT. the chorus lives rent free in my brain. singing this is the best source of serotonin !!! ahhh the lyrics and the message!! very cool!! i love that neil made this song as a comment on dudes who think being mysterious is cool (yucfky ew) one lyric taken out of context makes me feel weird but like idk i just link it with something not great (once you go hazy you’ll understand i’m your soft fuzzy man sounds like he roofied someone) BUT i can ignore that because that wasnt the intention of the lyric!! very ebic songgg. as your father i expressly forbid it!! (neils my dad???) whoa,, neil scrEAM,,,, honestly i cant stop thinking of neil’s daughter while listening to this (sorry) but umm THE INSTRUMENTAL IS THE B EST!! the little beeop boop>?>?? YES i love it sorry about like not being able to get ideas across my brain is old computer stalling noise rn i earn my life (he damn earned it) this is my moms favorite!! (yeah she likes it too surprisingly!!) this song is really nice,, verry cool little instrumental bits!! awesome!! singing it is a 10/10 experience!!! reaganomics!! (baby, baby. YEAHHHHHH)  whoa!!! ronald reagan?? and he wants to take you for a ride?? anyways, whoa!! instrumental!! i can tell that neil puts a lot of effort into his songs because ALL of the main tracks are bangers.  man-made object (shit i caught insomnia from looking at the moon😔) SO big ol giant tower towering over everything!!! i kinda have a bad experience with this song because when i drew fanart for it my friend misconstrued the tie i drew with... a sexual organ. (hes fucked up) does NOT mean the song is bad but i get reminded of that whenever i listen to it. very COOL SONG!! YES!! build that giant skyscraper girl you go spiral of ants (im im caught in the spiral of ants girl) whoa last song... ON THE MAIN TRACK AHAHA!! just kidding i cant do the bonus tracks. ANYWAYS whoa!! a tornado of ants? count me in! the lyrics are very epic!! and fun to sing except for the AND WE BECAME A HURRICANE because its a high note and i suck at high notes 😔i did it once but i cant anymore 😔😔this sounds very nice i love it!!  if you read this all the way,, fucking,,,, thANKS because this is hella long im sorry i hope you liked my opinions bye!! <3 i’ll be doing more album stuff in the future (possibly even tonight because i have nothing to do with my life.

[penzyroamin]

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen. 

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow. 

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

[nataliedanovelist]

GF + OH - Fallen Owls pt.2

Summary: What happens when the milf of The Owl House meets the dilf of Gravity Falls? Find out in this multi-chapter crossover fic.

pt.1

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement: GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E7 and E8 Mabel giggled at a funny meme Luz had texted her. Who doesn’t love pics of an angry-looking kitty and a toad sipping coffee? She texted Luz a bunch of laughing emojis and scratched Waddles. Luz, meanwhile, was sitting on the couch in the living room with King sleeping by his side. Or at least trying to. He was in the perfect spot, but Luz’s giggling was disturbing his slumber. Luz texted back: It’s so good to have someone appreciate these! Eda thinks their stupid and King never gets them. M: Memes are a rare language only teenagers and creepy forty-year-olds understand.

Luz texted a gif of a guy pointing and saying “you got me there” and she scratched King’s back. He rolled over in his sleep and Luz scratched his tummy. L: So whatcha doin’ today? M: Dipper wants to go investigate some new anomaly. L: Cool! What is it? M: … You know, why don’t I get him to tell you? Are you up for visitors today? L: YES! Yes, yes, YES! I’ll ask Eda! Luz hurried off the couch and ran up outside to find Eda drinking out of her 30 & Flirty mug in the warm sun. “Eda! Can Mabel come over and bring her brother Dipper?” “That human girl you met last week?” Eda asked and shrugged. “Sure, okay. Just make sure her uncle won’t be after my blood.” “Thanks Eda, you’re the best!” And Luz hurriedly texted Mabel back. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mabel’s phone made a dazzling noise, like sparkles, meaning she got a text. She squealed and Dipper then entered the bedroom, having been blackmailed into a shower by his own twin. He was shaking his hair dry, fully dressed, when Mabel said, “Dip-Dip, cancel your plans for today!” “What, but we were gonna investigate the graveyard for loose zombies, remember?” “Not anymore! You’re gonna see the Boiling Isles!” Dipper gasped and dropped his towel. “Are you serious?! The Boiling Isles! I’ve been wanting a chance to see it for myself and record it in my journal!” “Well, now you've got one.” Mabel hopped off the bed and said, “We just gotta make sure it’s okay with Grunkle Stan first.” Dipper slammed on his pinetree hat and hurried with Mabel downstairs. They found both of their great-uncles in front of the TV, Stan trying to explain some new show to Ford, but the old-school scientist just couldn’t see the appeal in a show about a bird and a raccoon terrorizing an amusement park. “Can we go see Luz at the Boiling Isles today, please please please?!” Mabel begged, using her cuteness as a weapon against her temporary-guardians. ‘You expect me to allow my kids into a dangerous world full of monsters and demons and some creepy witch?” Stan asked with a raised eyebrow, but then smiled. “Sounds like fun! Have at it.” Mabel and Dipper cheered and high-fived, then the hyperactive girl gave her Grunkle Stan a quick hug before running off into the kitchen with the sweaty teenage boy to text Luz. “Are you sure that is a good idea, Stanley?” Ford asked. The younger twin shrugged. “I trust her.” “Who? Mabel or Eda?” “Yes.” Ford snorted and gave his brother a sly look. Stan narrowed his eyes at him and grunted, “What?” “You like her, don’t you?” Ford asked. “Who? My niece or some creepy owl lady?” “Yes.” Stan laughed and punched Ford’s shoulder. “Yeah, right. Eda’s just a fun story to tell and a cool chick. She’s not my type.” “Right, because your type is gigantic man-eating spiders and deadly sirens.” Ford said sarcastically. “I saw the way you looked at her. I haven’t seen you smile quite like that since Carla McCorkle.” “That’s ancient history.” Stan said dryly. “I’m way over her. Besides, Eda and I’ve got our own lives. Sure, what we had was great back in the day, and yeah I’ll admit it, it was love at first sight, but love dies off, you know.” He didn’t at all sound a little bit bitter or hurt. Ford shrugged and stood up for another cup of coffee. “Maybe whatever you two had will come back. Look, I may have twelve PhDs, but I know next to nothing about girls and dating or whatever, but I do know my own brother, and I saw a side of you I haven’t seen in a long time: you looked truly, genuinely happy.” Stan stood so he could punch his twin’s shoulder softly. “I am happy, Sixer. I’ve got you and the kids. I don’t need anything else.” Ford smiled. “I can understand that logic. Still, try to keep an open mind, Knucklehead.” And he walked off to the kitchen for some more caffeine. ~~~~~~~~~~ Eda unlocked the door and soon a pair of Caucasian twins with brown hair and matching eyes ran through. The girl grinned at the sight of Luz and the boy smiled politely. Mabel ran up to Luz and the girls hugged and squealed in delight. “This’ll be so much fun!” Luz cheered. “I have so many things to show you! Tons of books filled with monsters, a real-life demon, I can even show you my light spell!” “Thanks for having us!” Mabel said to both Luz and Eda. “This is my brother, Dipper.” “Nice to meet you, kid.” Eda said with a wink. “The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Eda.” Dipper admired and immediately pulled out his notebook from his vest and was ready to take notes. “Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about your kind and what it means to be a witch?” “Maybe later, kid.” Eda said casually. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to take a nap.” She walked behind her dresser and snapped her fingers, magically changing into her pajamas. She yawned into her hand and made her way up the stairs. “Stay as long as you want and just don’t make a mess and don’t wake me up unless you wanna die a slow and painful death. Oh. Luz.” Eda tossed her the key from the top of the stairs and the human caught it. “So you don’t have to wake me up to send the other humans home.” “Thanks, Eda.” Luz called and the door closed. “So, Dipper, Mabel says you two do a lot of exploring?” She asked. “Oh yeah,” Dipper acknowledged. “Gravity Falls is filled with tons of anomalies and weird stuff. We’ve faced eyebats, gremloblins, zombies, ghosts, an army of angry gnomes…” “Wow! That’s so cool!” Luz said and opened the front door. “You’ll definitely like it here! I’ll give you guys a quick tour.” “YES!” The twins cheered and hurried out the door, but were frozen with shock when the door spoke. “Finally! Company! I’ve been waiting for someone to hear my stories! Okay, so one time a bug crawled into my eye and… OW!” Hooty was interrupted by Dipper using his journal to smack the talking owl head on the - well, on the head. “Geez! Ow! Hoot!” “Sorry,” Dipper winced. “Aw!” Mabel squealed and reached up to scratch the top of her head. “He’s so cute! Who’s a good door, who’s a good door?” “I dunno, is it me?” Hooty cooed, putty in Mabel’s hands as she scratched him lovingly. “Alright, come on guys. Hooty’s gotta guard the house while Eda and King are napping.” Luz said and led the way into town. Dipper and Mabel grinned as one walked beside Luz to talk and the other wrote in his journal diligently. ~~~~~~~~~~ Gus was squealing where he stood with Willow by his side. She smiled and rolled her eyes affectionately at her close friend and said, “Gus, if you don’t calm down you’re going to faint again.” “I haven’t fainted in two years.” Gus defended. “I’m fine. I just wanna know what Luz’s surprise is!” “I wonder if it’s a new spell she learned, Or a gift from the human world.” Gus gasped loudly and shouted, “What if it’s a tiny clock for your wrist?! What if it’s a ball that can float on it’s own?! WHAT IF IT’S A SMALL ENTERTAINMENT RECTANGLE?!” “Look, there she is!” Willow pointed the human out and waved. Meanwhile, Luz was talking to the twins as she walked with them. “Now remember that it’s rude to stare, never trust a man in sandals, and always measure twice, cut once.” “Measure… twice… cut… once…” Dipper muttered as he wrote Luz’s tips in his journal. “Got it.” “Now, I want you two to meet… oh hey! There they are! Willow! Gus!” Luz called and approached her friends quickly with her visitors. Gus gasped loudly and was then speechless, completely stone-still with his mouth hanging open. Luz smiled at his reaction while Willow grinned happily. “Hey guys! This is Dipper and Mabel, humans from the human realm! Guys, this is Willow and Gus, they’re my best friends.” “Wow! Elves!” Mabel squealed, at once catching the pointy ears and holding out a hand to shake. “Hi! I’m Mabel! It’s so nice to meet you.” Willow giggled and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, but we’re not elves; we’re witches. See,” And Willow made a circle at the dirt, making a pretty pink flower sprout and bloom. She plucked it and held it out to Mabel and said, “Welcome to the Boiling Isles.” “Oh, wowie zowie.” The human breathed and pinned the flower by her ear. “Thank you!” “Are you two really humans?” Willow asked. Dipper smiled as he pocketed his journal and pen in his vest; he knew these witches were probably just as excited to meet humans as these humans were excited to meet witches. “Yup. I gotta admit, I’ve seen lots of weird stuff but this place is even more weird and mysterious than anything I’ve ever saw.” “I’m glad you like it here.” Willow then noticed how little Gus was speaking and gently elbowed him. “Gus, say something.” She whispered softly. “Ack… ah…” The young witch gasped, the nerd in him overtaking his logic, his brain slower than a snail on a turtle’s back to the overwhelming fantasy coming true. “Ears... wire… teeth… round…” “Uh, is he okay?” Mabel asked. “He’s fine.” Luz said calmly. “He’s the president of the Human Appreciation Society at school.” “Oh, cool.” Dipper said. “So this would be like me meeting the author for him.” He added to his sister, who giggled, and then she asked, “So, what do you guys like to do for fun?” Luz, Willow, and Gus all grinned excitedly as they exchanged looks and they happily grabbed the twins’ hands and took them on an adventure into the unknown. ~~~~~~~~~~ Vexing off some frustrations and hoping to forget her worries for a moment with a successful evening of winning bets and making money, Eda counted her bills one more time. It was enough to slap a man like it was a glove. With her flaming orange hair everywhere, her shiny gold tooth sparkling alongside her excited eyes, and comfortable in casual human attire, it felt good to leave behind the Boiling Isles for a while and be somewhere new. Not that she intended to stay; she didn’t quite belong here. Eda reached for a slot machine handle and pulled. One strawberry, two strawberries, and a banana. The hidden witch frowned and growled in her throat, determined to outwit this thing. She decided to give it one more try before incorporating some magic. She reached for the handle only to have her hand touch someone else’s hand. Her golden eyes landed on a buff man around her age. He wore a red Hawaiian shirt, his buttons a little low to showcase a gold chain and a bit of chest hair. Scars littered his knuckles and he had a five o’clock shadow on his square chin, his shaggy brown hair nearly long enough to be a mullet. His brown eyes sparked with excitement and he immediately put on a sly grin that made Eda smirk in return. Instantly she knew this guy was going to give her a good time. He let go of the slot machine, shrugged and gestured to the machine, and said, “Good luck.” Eda smiled, pulled the lever, and decided to perform a small spell behind her back with her free hand. One strawberry, two strawberries, three strawberries. Blinking lights and spitting money clarified Eda’s victory and she punched the air several times. “Yes yes yes yes yes!” She scooped up her loot into her bag and challenged, “Let’s see if you can do any better, Muscles.” The guy smiled cockily and gave it a shot, rubbing his hands together and popping his knuckles. To Eda’s pleasant surprise, the guy got three bananas, earning four times the amount the witch won, and he gave a barking laugh that Eda found pleasant and full-hearted. “Eat it, toots!” Stan bragged as he pocketed the winnings and pulled out a big stack of cash to flaunt. “Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but looks like Lady Luck’s on my side tonight.” “You wish,” Eda snorted. “Tell you what, buster, let’s make this night even more interesting.” The guy raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh?” “You and I play against each other for the rest of the evening. Whoever wins the most from this point forward… I don’t know, the winner lives in glory and the loser wallows in eternal shame.” The guy leaned across the machine, still as cocky as ever with a smile as sly as a fox. “How about loser treats winner out to breakfast?” Eda crackled a laugh and held out a hand to shake. “You've got a deal.” The guy took her hand, shook it, and said, “Name’s Stan by the way.” Eda said the first back-up name that came to mind. “Marilyn.” She would be an idiot to give away her real name in a dodgy place like Las Vegas. And so the competitive game of betting at the club began. From poker to blackjack to straight-up dice rolling and slot machines, the two spirited and care-free adults roamed the casino with one goal: to kick the other’s butt. All the while they talked like they were old friends. It was crazy ridiculous how easy their talks were. Everything just worked. Between cocktails and anything with a buzz, the two were foul cheaters, one brilliantly street-smart and the other crafty and gifted with a certain set of skills. One time Stan tried to leave a table and fell on his face to find his shoelaces tied, even though he could have sworn Eda never had a chance to prank him. Eda quickly liked this guy a lot; he was fun! She could poke fun at him without worrying about hurting his wittle feewings, rather he would poke back and make her laugh. Even as she threw dice at his head once in order to swipe his winnings, he grabbed her wrist, tickled her ribs, and swiped some of her gold; Eda retaliated by pouncing on him like a bird after her prey and they wrestled for a moment before Stan threw her down and laughed. Eda grinned, impressed he could fight, and they high-fived before moving on. It was a close call, but by three in the morning Stan was richer by five bucks, so Eda shrugged and said she was only passing through and wondered if he knew a place with edible food. Stan, who had been living in town for about a month, took her in the Stanmobile and drove her to a cheap 24-hour diner by the interstate. The whole time they chatted pleasantly, making fun of the other and telling stories and generally having a good time. As Stan drove and his hair became a wild mess, Eda smiled at him; she had never felt this way about anyone. No one challenged her or made her feel this important. And so Eda found herself eating pancakes with tons of strawberries and strawberry syrup, sipping a mug of black coffee. Stan was telling another story in between bites of pancake with eggs and plenty of bacon, his coffee also as black as the night. Eda listened, entertained, and held her mug with both of her pale hands to keep them warm. “... so I said to the bouncer, ‘where’s your idea, ugly?’ And that’s how I got this scar.” And Stan rolled back his sleeve to show off the proof of his story. Eda laughed and tilted her head up to show a tiny scar under her chin. “I got this one from playing with my sister. She tricked me and I ran after her and tripped over a tree root and landed on a rock. Blood was everywhere, Mother was furious at her, which was all the payback I needed; she almost never got into trouble.” “Ah, got a goody-two-shoes sibling, huh?” Stan asked, leaned back in his booth as he ate another piece of bacon. “Can you relate?” Stan laughed. “Yeah, my older brother Shermie’s a total square. He’s an okay guy, though. Made me an uncle.” “That’s nice.” Eda said. “Lily will never make me an aunt; she’s already married to the law.” She groaned, adding a gagging noise for comedic effect, and she sipped her coffee. “Ugh, are you related to a cop?” Stan groaned and held his forehead as he smiled. “More like a detective.” “Hey, I had an uncle who was a detective.” Stan remembered. “Cool guy; smoked a pack a day, but he had this bachelor's apartment in New York City and cracked tons of cases. He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, good ole Uncle Jack. So, do you still talk to your sister, or…” Eda shrugged. “Not really. She decided I wasn’t good enough for her and I decided she wasn’t worth it, so we kinda went our separate ways.” Stan nodded solemnly, his eyes elsewhere. “It happens. I don’t really talk to my family anymore.” “Sorry.” She said sympathetically, her eyes anywhere but her date. “Meh. I’m not.” Stan lied easily. “If the guy wants to go to some smarty-pants school and live a boring life, always knowing what’s gonna happen, that’s his mistake.” Eda smiled and chuckled under her throat. “My thoughts exactly. Life isn’t proper; it’s wild and unpredictable, but that’s what makes it so beautiful.” Stan smiled and pointed at her. “I like your philosophy, babe.” “Your’s isn’t so bad, handsome.” Eda replied in her mug. “Could use some polishing, but hey what do I know?” Stan smiled and the conversation shifted. That drunken state a lack of sleep will give you, but neither were willing to turn in just yet. Eda still had a goal she wanted to reach before leaving town; if she wanted to more than double her winnings, she would have to be slippery, but she couldn’t help but have an amazing time and actually feel something beyond an excitement for trouble. About an hour later, now only snacking on coffee and water and probably pissing off their waiter, Eda asked, “Hey Stan, wanna marry me?” Stan stared at her, breathing in water, and needing a minute to clear his windpipes before answering. “I don’t think you wanna do that, Marilyn. You hardly know me.” He said darkly, leaning forward and looking down. Eda took the hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it gently. “I know enough.” She stood, leaned over the table, and kissed Stan. It was actually really nice. Like, really nice. Sure she could do without the taste of coffee and the sticky syrup on his lips, but when he kissed back and had a hand in her wild hair Eda’s heart was pounding faster, excitement and adrenaline being the witch’s favorite drug. When they parted and Eda had a knee on the table, Stan nodded. “Okay. I’ll marry you.” Half an hour later, they both stood in front of Cupid with brush hair and teeth and Eda had a bundle of roses Stan had shoplifted for her. After a quick exchange of “I do”s and speeding back to Stan’s motel room, they both quickly undressed and reaped from the benefits of being a couple. ~~~~~~~~~~ Hungover and tired from an all-nighter, Eda slept in Stan’s arms nearly all day, finally waking up around three in the afternoon with Stan still asleep. She laid there and smiled, eyes closed and enjoying having such warm and strong arms wrapped around her. After spending so many years alone, it was nice to sleep with someone she loved. Heck, she may love him but he didn’t need a witch criminal in her life. And Eda’s life was too unpredictable to risk being tied down. So she went over her plan and was confident it would work. It might hurt for a minute, but soon Stan would look back on this and laugh. He was just that kind of guy. After coffee and some bananas to help with the headaches, Stan got in the shower, leaving Eda alone. Perfect. Even all of their winnings from last night were on the table. Quickly re-dressing with a snap of her fingers, the cunning witch quietly scooped up the cash into her bag and hung it over her shoulder. She looked around the room and considered taking a souvenir, a human artifact to sell, but while Stan had many things she liked (many things others saw as garbage), Eda decided to go easy on her husband; she owed him that. In her neon pink shirt, blue-jean skirt, and heeled boots, Eda quietly opened the door and tip-toed out of the room. But then she suddenly heard the sounds of the shower being turned off and the curtains being drawn back. Right, males took shorter showers. Eda quickly left and let the door make a loud-ish click noise. Let’s give Stan a warning. Let him fight for it, maybe. The red Diablo was right in front of her, giving her an idea. Rather than running away to then later duck through a door, Eda changed her plan; she was going to give Stan one hell of an adventure. She made circles on the door and it unlocked, then used circles on the engine and the cluttered car roared to life. She grinned, her golden tooth sparkling and her eyes ablaze like her hair, and just as Stan stood at the motel’s door in a maroon bathrobe and a towel held by his wet hair, Eda stepped on the gas and happily let the tires screech her farewell. “HEY!” Eda cackled and snorted all the way out of the motel’s parking lot and down the street. She relaxed and even rolled down the window to lean out and enjoy some fresh air. Not the same as flying, but close enough. Eda was going over her escape plan in her head when she noticed something behind her. She even turned her head back surprisingly far and saw Stan - still in his bathrobe - chasing after her in a stolen motorcycle. Eda grinned. “I knew I married that guy for more than one reason.” She sped up and happily dodged traffic and pedestrians. In fact, one or two things in her way may or may not have floated above her and then safely come back down, but who knows? First the lights, then the sirens. The witch knew what that meant: the guards of the human realm. She glanced back at her mirror and saw Stan being followed by three cop-cars. One cop even called to her on the radio, but she ignored it and headed for the interstate out of Las Vegas. Time to make history. Just as she merged, Stan did the same, but the cops were forced to wait for an opening. Stan somehow managed to speed up next to Eda. “What the hell, Marilyn?!” He yelled. “Sorry, handsome, gotta keep you on your toes.” Eda said coolly, leaning on her elbow on the window. “Gotta keep life unpredictable, y’know?” She added with a wink and sped up, leaving Stan behind. He sped up a bit, slowly catching up, and Eda could see that the cops were on the interstate. Time for the grand escape. The Stanmobile was brought off the busy road and down into the sandy desert. Down into the mouth of a canyon Eda sped, with the bike still closely behind her. Eda grinned, swerved behind a sharp rock, and jumped out with her bag on her shoulder. She dug through the pocket of her skirt for her key and pressed the eye. Just as Stan swerved around the sharp rock, she blew him a kiss with a foxy wink and disappeared. Stan stared, red-faced and still in his bathrobe, as the doorway disappeared. The cops finally caught up as Stan tried to wrap his head around whatever happened, and the one in charge asked him, ”Where did she go?!” The conman quickly collected his thoughts. “Dunno, car was like this when I caught up. She’s probably somewhere in this canyon.” While the police searched the canyon for a runaway newlywed, Stan smiled, impressed with her work, and checked his still-running car. It looked like she had hot-wired his baby and hadn’t taken any of his junk, but what was really weird was there was a feather in the driver’s seat. Huh. ~~~~~~~~~~ Episode Placement: GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E9 and E10 After finally being accepted into Hexside, not only did Luz become more invested in learning about the historical wizarding school, she became even more invested in learning about her mentor. Those permanent records giving tid-bits of Eda’s childhood really made Luz more curious about her, and she figured a good place to keep on searching was the old boxes in a storage closet. Luz had come across it when she had put away the not-witchy broom after completing a chore. Her eyes landed on a box on a top shelf and she grinned, wondering if old photos were in it. She grabbed it and sat in on the floor, on her knees as she rubbed her hands together and took off the lid to reveal a mix-match of assorted items. There were some pictures and photographs, but it was mostly filled with old clothes. Luz picked up an old “Over 30 and Very Flirty” t-shirt and giggled at it. Something fell out from the folds of the shirt and Luz picked it up. She squinted at the old picture and gasped loudly when she realized what she was looking at. “Is that…?”

[overoaks]

things a new rp partner should know about me !

fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. (also don’t write you are a dork/gremlin/etc. this is tumblr, of course you are)

tagged by: @goldenscar​ ( wowie zowie thank u jin! )  tagging: if u see this and haven’t done it... this is ur sign 

1. i tend to get distracted easily while online so it can take a while for me to get to replies ( messages included! ) it’s part of the reason why i have my queue set to one thing a day , to allow me the time to get to other replies or actually do replies when i’m in The Zone. but unfortunately there are times where my muses don’t cooperate or i just don’t have the drive for much writing. i do try to focus if i can but i can get easily overwhelmed so i try not to take on too much. if you happen to want to rp and see that i have no memes or the starter call is capped , just wait for the next meme. ( memes tho pls send in more than one , for those it’s just whether or not the muse bites at what u send ) 

2. i like to hear others talk about their headcanons and tbh it’s something that i encourage !  talking about our muses and their relationship , developing some things that way is a great way for me to get a better grasp on your character and tbh not only is it a good way for our characters but speaking ooc makes it easier for me to vibe with the mun. whether it’s talking about our characters or anything else. once again , i encourage it !   can i also say i like to listen to people talk about their headcanons even down to the smaller ones because it shows just how much you love your character and how much you enjoy writing them and thinking about them and it’s inspiring to me !! 

3. while i am game to write a lot of different things , the thing i’m best at writing involves deeper feelings. which is why there’s always a lot of detail or why i write how someone moves over me focusing on dialogue. and also why i’m always pressing for longer threads ( what’s the dog meme?? no plotting - only long threads )  speaking of plotting !!   i tend to go with the flow of things but there are cases where either myself or my partner has an idea and i like to think to have it executed well , if there’s something that you want to be seen in the thread then have at it!  we can always talk about the direction threads can go !!  

4. speaking of which AUS AUS AUS AUS !!  i love love love love love love aus !!  while canon for characters can be fun , aus open up soooooooo much creativity and allow for a bigger world to explore. it doesn’t matter the au !!  i enjoy all sorts. modern verses , scifi space & fantasy !!  it’s just fun to think of the differet ways your character would be in these situations. so if you have an au i defo encourage those. :^) 

5. this is not my job. this is just a hobby. that being said i cannot stress how important it is that we just have fun here !!  i used to care so much about how others saw my blogs or how it looked and it stressed me out too much. i like to goof off so there will be a lot of ooc or memes posted here , if that’s not your thing then unfortunately this might not be the blog for you.  if that’s the case then all i can say is i hope your stay was good and happy rp-ing ! 

[jtzvintagetamadrums]

What does $50 buy on Facebook Marketplace these days?

Hello again and Happy New Year! I hope this post finds you enjoying a prosperous baby New Year. Hopefully all good things ahead in 2019!

Okay...so I’ve been away from the old blog and WAY away from drum parts and restoration for quite a while now. I gotta admit, it gets to be a pain in the ass tracking down orphan drums, sorting parts, tearing down, cleaning, cataloging and restoring...and most of all, fielding questions and parts requests from vintage Tama drum bros from all around the world. I’ve also taken a break from selling on eBay and Craigslist because we all know what a royal pain in the ass that can be...and with increasingly diminishing returns to be had nowadays. I seriously needed to step away from the game so no one got hurt!

So back to “biness”. I always enjoy adding a few extra bucks per month to the investment account from diligent drum parts schlepping...and lately my personal finance bottom line once again came a calling. I was feeling I needed something to jump start my epic return to the old grind. Maybe a cheap kit to restore? Nope...got too many of those and my wife would murder me in my sleep..again! Most likely a decent lot of roached orphan drums to part out and/or restore and flip. Well a few days ago I found just the ticket, oddly enough...on Facebook Marketplace.

So being the bottom feeder that I am, here’s what $50 bought me...

Yeah...I thought the same thing. At first glance, no big wowy zowy right? A roached King Beat snare and some other crap. 

Break it down one time!

(1) 81′ Tama King Beat snare

I was obviously into this deal for just the snare alone. This features a surprisingly complete KG parallel strainer assembly (shocker…both knobs are there!). I’ll need to remember to reassemble the complete strainer on the shell to ensure full functionality prior to scrapping the shell. Up close, overall this is not as shitty as it looks. The shorty coffin lugs (always in demand) don’t seem all that pitted nor do the PC die cast hoops. When I say “not all that pitted”, I mean typical of the era. There’s even a nice clean badge to boot. The big knob muffler is complete but the felt has disintegrated. Sure the shell is toast and is headed to an artificial reef but otherwise…parts heaven.

Cha-to-the-ching!

(1) 98′ Spitfire by Slingerland 22″ kick drum

Wait what? A Spitfire by whoesy whatsit? Yeah I sure as hell never heard of them either. Not much info on these drums as they were a part of the tail end of the sad Slingerland demise and much akin to the Chinese import “Swingstar by Tama” entry level junk of the era. The wrap is a bit bubbly on this drum and it is missing both spur sets. It’s also sporting a pair of roached, previously chrome and otherwise pedestrian Rockstar looking hoops that have been painted black. These originally came with matching wrap inlay hoops similar to the Taiwan level early 90′s Tama Rockstar hoops. Me thinks to myself…”Self…hey…I have pair of black inlay Rockstar hoops! I also have a pair of telescoping, diamond bolt pattern mount plate “Camco by Tama” (yikes!) kick spurs somewhere in the workshop that might fit the bolt pattern. Maybe I can smack this beast in the face, get it back into player’s shape and get $50 for it or donate it to the church for a tax receipt”. Win-win!

Here’s a pic from an old Guitar Center listing of what a “Spitfire by Slingerland” kit should look like. I guess it’s your basic, late 90′s, Korean firewood shell, entry level beater you’d buy for your kid at Christmas that he then stops playing a week later. Again, standard Taiwan Rockstar style matchy matchy wrap inlay hoops and typical telescoping spurs of the 90′s era. Still sporting the vintage style Slingerland lugs all around though. Hmm. 

(1) Mid 60′s 13″ Ludwig Keystone badge Rack Tom with Gold Sparkle Wrap

Okay so this one is a bit out of my wheelhouse. I’m no vintage Ludwig guy by any means, but this was kind of cool to stumble upon. Sadly painted black by some doofus from days of yore…there is clearly a vintage gold sparkle wrap that lurks beneath what looks like some black house paint hot mess. This drum does have the original tom mount intact, but is missing the bottom lugs and t rods so it is about 75% complete. I believe the bottom hoop was in the lot as well. The uber-fatty re-ring shell appears to be sound, in round and the “who knows how long it was exposed” bottom bearing edge doesn’t look all the bad surprisingly. The badge is a bit roached, but this drum is worth a re-wrap and resto by some eager Ludwig aficionado that has the parts and a shit load of free time on their hands. Heading directly to an eBay near you.

* 1/10/19 UPDATE! Upon closer inspection, what I thought was thick black paint turns out to be the same shitty contact paper/vinyl that is on the timbales mentioned below! I easily peeled some off this morning and the wrap looks pretty decent underneath.

So the plot thickens on this drum...resto or no?

(2) No name 60′s era Japanese 13″ and 14″ copper over steel Timbales

Ole!

Well now these are pretty f-ing cool. Listed as “no name concert toms” in the Facebook Marketplace ad, I was pleasantly surprised that these turned out to be steel shell timbales. Hell, who knows, they may be copper. Likely not…they look 60′s Japanese, which basically means they’re one step away from scrap steel. They’ve been wrapped in a flaking, deteriorated black contact paper (same doofus maybe?), but they appear to be your classic copper plate over steel finish beneath. I guess I’ll find out when I tear them down. Can’t really tell if it is all surface rust on the inside of the shells or just copper patina that gives it that “old penny” look. The lugs to me look like the pointy Japanese Star style lug common to the 60′s Star kits and similar Japanese stencil kits of the era. Regardless, I will likely keep these as I don’t actually own a set of timbales and they’d be fun to bang on. The t rods are pretty toasty so they’ll need to be addressed. Thankfully, the clip/slide mounts are intact as is the original dual mount that I can retrofit into something period correct or even a vintage Titan stand. If the shells are too crusty on the surface to recover the copper finish, I’ll have them media blasted locally and then send them to my nephew in Vermont to powder coat with a fun finish.

Also included was an orphan but nonetheless classic Ludwig dual tom mount whose length seems to indicate it was from a stand. Then again, WTF do I know about Ludwig hardware? Regardless…more eBay fodder for the Ludwig loonies.

Okay so it is time to break down the potential flippage numbers “American Pickers - Bundle Mania!” style. I’ll keep it on the lower end of the $ scale.

King Beat snare parts:

Coffin lugs, sold in pairs @ $15 clear, assuming 4 good pairs ( I’ll keep a pair) - $60.00

KG strainer assembly, hopefully complete, the original extended snares were coiled up inside the shell and bent so I’ll keep those and try to salvage them.- $75.00

Muffler - I have broken tone control arms with good felt so I’ll fix this one, keep it and sell a good one - $50.00

PC die cast hoops - generally fetch in the neighborhood of $45.00 each - $90.00

Imperialstar badge with or without salvage grommet - $10.00

T Rods and washers - two sets of ten at $10.00 each clear - $20.00

Snare total salvage - $305.00

Slingerland Kick drum:

Parts needed are zero cost, sell or church tax receipt donation - $50.00

Kick total salvage - $50.00

Ludwig 13″ Rack tom and mount:

Sell as is or attempt to remove the black paint with citrus stripper, then sell on an  eBay auction style listing starting at $25.00..maybe I’ll clear - $40.00

Tom mount is missing one L arm but in nice shape. might clear  - $15.00

Ludwig total salvage - $55.00

Timbales :

I’ll keep these, will cost a bit to restore, random value at $75.00.

Timbale total salvage value - $75.00

So the total comes in at around $485.00 on a good day. Backing out my $50 cash outlay and the $75 value of the keeper timbales…with a little luck, I could potentially clear at least $350 on this lot. Not too shabby, considering the seller pretty much brought the drums to me right around the corner from where I work.

Now all I need is some free time, a whole hell of a lot elbow grease and the boundless patience for the eternal agony that is eBay and Craigslist.

Thanks for taking a look and maybe I will post a follow up on this lot. Some fun stuff in this batch for sure!

Cheers to a Happy New Year!

- jt

[soulofironblood]

As the the three walked off into snowdin leaving nothing behind but what the drakeblood threw behind her; a flask that she could not opened, as it scraped and tumbled across the ground it’d gain several scratch marks though it would not be until it came into contact with a jagged rock that it would come to rest in waterfall.

However the cork of the flask had landed on the tip of the sharp object, and came undone. Silence would reign for a minute. Then 2, then 3.

 Several moments passed before there would be a rattle from what would normally hold alcohol for the red head, then another.

Until a palish white hand would reach out, than another, tugging itself from outside of the flask until whatever it was that hid inside of it came tumbling out with a loud CRASH! Followed by a dazed shake before the being would shake their head.

“WOWIE ZOWIE! That took SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much longer than I would of Li-i-iked~!.” A booming and hyper voice came from them, what seemed to be a blue and white coloured lass with some hints of black...dripping off of them?! “Well then HELLOOOOOOOOOOO THERE HOSTY-H-hosty?!”

The girl would look around for a moment, they we’re in waterfall. The flask they were in was a little ways away from them. And no one else in sight.....

“W-WHAT?! OH NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO! You’ve GOT to be kidding MEEEEEEEE?! SHE LEFT ME HERE?! BUT I WAS WAITING SO LONG TO FINALLY MEET EYDISY WISHY! GAAAAAAAAAAAH! So much for having FUN first day back....I suppose though I could go find INJUSTY! I’m sure he’s been MISSING Little old Me~! hehehe~”

[thegalaxyrosedoodles]

Ooooooooo I took way too long to post these -wheezes- but I'm off work the next 2 days so I have time to post it up! These two lovely ladies are a collaboration with

@luidilovins

They were amazing and super fun to work with! Looking forward to doodlin' with you again in the future! Make sure to go look at there post are well, I think they only posted on Tumblr https://luidilovins.tumblr.com/post/162523543215/luidilovins-wowie-zowie-my-hands-hurt-i#notes

The first lady to the left is Green Sardonyx, a fusion of Green Bean (Light Green Pearl) and Almandine (Al). These two are a beautiful combo let me just say, Green Bean is a flirty thing and Al doesn't understand flirting much so there are moments of flirting and then complete silance right after cause Al is trying to process what is being done it's wonderful! <3 Green Sardonyx uses mirrors that can zap light beams and at times can transport them to other areas within mirror throwing distance.

Lady on the right is a badass mofo, a fusion between Dioptase (The orignal) and Charoite to make Nebula Stone a deadly beauty with a razor whip that'll take you out of this world. Litteraly. They both have pure determation and hella will power. Get 'em gurl, get 'em.

I did the lineart on the left and they did the coloring.

They did the amazing lineart on the right and I did the coloring.

I really love how these turned out and it was so much fun to do!

Art and charaters (C) Both @luidilovins and I

[myloish]

i’m watching love death + robots on netflix and having a disgustingly good time. each episode is a short usually animated vignette about 10 minutes long with different sci-fi-y premises. some of them are dark and gorey and some are cute and fun, they’re like little black mirror-ettes.

 i just finished the fourth one and it combined so many of my interests seamlessly that i just sat grinning at the tv like an idiot for the last five minutes WOWIE ZOWIE