#wow this was weird but they do make sense

[evermoreness]

polyjuice incident | wolfstar

summary: sirius and james decide to do the ultimate prank, swapping bodies for a day. but things took a turn when remus confesses his feelings to the wrong person.

masterlist

Sirius Black leaned over the bubbling cauldron, eyes gleaming with mischief as the thick, murky potion swirled inside. James Potter stood beside him, arms crossed, skeptical but intrigued.

“You know,” James muttered, “every time you get that look on your face, I question my life choices.”

“Oh, come on, Prongs,” Sirius grinned, ladling a portion of Polyjuice Potion into two goblets. “This is genius. One day. Just one day as each other. Think of all the things we could do!”

James raised a brow. “And by ‘we,’ you mean ‘you.’”

Sirius scoffed. “Oh, come on, Potter. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“So let me get this straight,” James said, tilting the potion under the dim candlelight of the abandoned classroom. “You want us to drink this… abomination, swap faces for a day, and—what? See how long we can fool people?”

Sirius grinned. “Precisely.”

James huffed a laugh. “You just want to see if you can get away with hexing Snivellus under my name.”

“Not entirely untrue,” Sirius admitted. “But also, I want to know if I can make McGonagall like me if I act like you. And, of course, you get to experience what it’s like to be unbelievably attractive for once in your life.”

James snorted. “Right. Because I’ve always been dying to know what it’s like to have people either in love with me or terrified of me.”

Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “See? Educational experience.”

James sighed “Alright. Let’s do it.”

“Alright, mate. Moment of truth.” Sirius held out two vials of murky, bubbling liquid.

James smirked. “You sure about this? You do realize I’m about to become the most charming bloke at Hogwarts.”

“Correction,” Sirius said, tipping one vial toward James. “You’re about to become me, which means you’ll have the unmatchable humor, hair, and good looks of Sirius Black. You should be honored.”

James rolled his eyes. “And you’ll have the unparalleled genius of James Potter. Try not to ruin my reputation in one day, yeah?”

Sirius grinned. “No promises.”

They clinked vials and downed the Polyjuice Potion in one gulp. Instantly, their bodies twisted, bones stretched, and faces morphed. James felt his hair grow longer, his nose sharpen, and suddenly—he was staring at himself.

Sirius, now wearing James’s face, let out a bark of laughter. “Bloody hell, this is weird.”

“Merlin’s beard,” James muttered, running a hand through his new wind-swept, perfect hair. “You weren’t lying. Your hair does do that naturally.”

Sirius, meanwhile, had abandoned all sense of dignity and was poking at his glasses. “Prongs, how do you live like this? It’s blurry without these things.”

James rolled his—Sirius’s—eyes. “That’s why I wear them, you prat.”

Sirius put on the glasses, blinked, then smirked. “Oh, wow. You are uglier in HD.”

James punched him in the arm. “You are me right now, idiot.”

Then the real fun began. They strutted out of the empty classroom, each wearing the other’s face, already thinking up ways to abuse this new power. But, of course, things went sideways before lunch.

James had never realized how much Sirius acted around Remus. Because as soon as he bumped into him in the common room, things got... weird.

Remus was lounging on the couch, reading a book with his usual cup of tea. He glanced up when James (who looked like Sirius) dropped onto the couch beside him.

“Hey, Pads,” Remus murmured, taking a sip of his tea.

James froze. Pads. Yeah, that was him now.

He tried to relax, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. “Oh, hey, Moony,” he said, attempting his best Sirius impression—cool, charming, effortlessly flirty.

Remus smirked. “That’s new.”

James blinked. “What?”

“You usually say something dramatic, like ‘Ah, Moony, come to bask in my brilliance?’”

James internally cursed. He was being too normal.

“Oh. Well.” He cleared his throat and attempted to smirk like Sirius. “What can I say? I’m maturing.”

Remus smiled, clearly enjoying James’ discomfort. "Still want help with defense against the dark arts?"

James tried to be as nonchalant as possible "Uh, actually, no need"

"But you almost begged me to teach you last week" Remus said, brows furrowed.

Sirius had begged Remus to teach him? Since when? James remembered really clearly that Sirius knew the entire book of Defense Against the Dark Arts from back to back.

"It's because— I just remembered that..." James had to think, fast. "That Prongs actually taught me everything already!"

"James doesn't even pay attention to this class" Remus said, still confused. "He almost got detention for not doing any of the homework assigned in this class"

"Hey!" James remembered that day, but no need to shame him right now. "Prongs is a very intelligent guy, he just struggles a bit"

James was now far too close to Remus Lupin, who smelled like parchment and cinnamon, and was looking at him like—like—was Moony always this intense?

“You alright?” Remus asked, voice quieter now.

James swallowed. “Yeah! Yeah, just, uh—long day. Very Sirius day.” He winced.

Remus laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a disaster.”

James let out a breath. “You have no idea.”

Remus narrowed his eyes slightly, tilting his head. “You’re acting strange today.”

“Strange?” James forced a grin. “I’m always strange. That’s part of my charm.” He shot Remus his best attempt at a Sirius-esque smirk.

Remus huffed a laugh, closing his book. “Merlin, you’re unbearable. But I suppose that’s why I like you.”

James choked.

“I—I mean, who wouldn’t like me?” he stammered, trying to recover. “I’m charming. I have great hair. I—”

Remus suddenly leaned in, his voice dropping lower. “And modest too.”

James swore his soul left his body.

Was this how Remus and Sirius usually talked to each other? How was Sirius alive?

Remus leaned back, watching him. “Are you blushing?”

“No!” James said, very much blushing.

Remus grinned. “You are.”

James cleared his throat, desperate to change the subject. “Er—so, Moony, fancy any, uh, girls lately?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Girls?”

“Yeah. Y’know. The opposite sex.”

Remus stared at him for a long moment, then shook his head with a quiet laugh. “Merlin, what has gotten into you today?”

James panicked. “Nothing! Nothing’s gotten into me! I’m just—just making conversation!”

Remus’s eyes glinted with something unreadable. “No, it’s different.” He leaned in again, resting his chin on his hand. “You know, Sirius, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re nervous.”

James was dying inside.

“I’m not nervous,” he lied. “I’m never nervous.”

Remus smirked. “Alright, prove it.”

James gulped. “H-how?”

Remus’s smirk widened. “Kiss me.”

James nearly screamed.

He could practically hear Sirius’s voice in his head, shrieking in horror. This was not part of the plan.

“Wh—what?”

Remus leaned back, laughing at James’s obvious panic. “Relax, Pads. I was joking.”

James exhaled so hard he nearly passed out. “Right. Obviously. Ha. Ha.”

Remus tried not to smile. "You really seem a bit off today"

Oh, bollocks. James cleared his throat and leaned in, deciding to channel Sirius as best he could. “Maybe I’m just enchanted by your presence this morning, Moony.”

Remus blinked, looking slightly caught off guard. Then, to James’ horror, he smirked.

“Oh?” Remus said, setting his book aside. “That’s funny. Because I was thinking the same about you.”

James nearly choked. WHAT. NO. NO, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING.

“Oh,” he said weakly, because his brain was shutting down.

“Are you flirting with me, Sirius?”

James was dying. What was he supposed to do? If he didn’t flirt back, Remus would get suspicious. If he did, Sirius was going to murder him.

So, panicking, he gave Remus a wink and said, “Always, love.”

Remus’ smirk widened. "This is the Sirius I know"

Without warning, Remus just kissed him on the cheek, picked up his book and was already standing up. "Bye, Pads! See you at dinner"

James was screwed.

Sirius definitely would kill him.

Meanwhile...

Sirius, who was still giddy about successfully looking like James, had not anticipated being pulled aside by Remus.

“James, can I talk to you?”

Sirius blinked. “Uh, sure?”

Remus pulled him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind him. Sirius sat on a desk, pretending to be casual, but inside, he was panicking.

“So,” Remus said, running a hand through his hair, looking awkward. “I need to tell you something, and I don’t want you to be weird about it.”

Sirius squinted. “Okay…”

Remus took a deep breath. “It’s about Sirius.”

Sirius nearly fell off the desk. “What about him?”

Remus hesitated before finally blurting out, “I think I like him.”

WHAT.

Sirius barely managed to keep his face from exploding. He could feel heat rushing to his cheeks.

Remus misinterpreted his silence as disapproval. “Look, I know it’s probably stupid, and he’s probably not interested, but I can’t help it. He drives me mad. He’s cocky and annoying and—”

“—unreasonably attractive?” Sirius offered before he could stop himself.

Remus sighed dramatically. “Exactly!” Then he paused. “Wait, what?”

Sirius cleared his throat. “Uh. Nothing. Carry on.”

Remus huffed. “I just—I don’t know what to do, James. I feel like he flirts with everyone, but lately? He’s been... different. Almost like he actually means it.”

Sirius swallowed thickly.

James was flirting with Remus.

He was going to murder him.

Remus gave him a hopeful look. “What do you think I should do?”

Sirius felt like he was short-circuiting. On the one hand, he wanted to tell Remus, Yes, I like you too, I’ve liked you forever. But on the other hand—he was supposed to be James.

So, instead, he just sighed heavily and said, “Maybe you should tell him how you feel.”

Remus scoffed. “Yeah, right. And get laughed at?”

Sirius shook his head. “No. I think he’d—um—be surprised. But not in a bad way.”

Remus studied him. “You sure?”

Sirius forced himself to nod. “Yeah.”

Merlin, James was so dead.

Some time later...

It took less than two hours for Sirius (still looking like James) to find James (still looking like Sirius) and tackle him to the ground. Peter Pettigrew had heard all the conversation James had with Remus in the common room, and of course, told Sirius.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Sirius whisper-screamed, his hands fisting James’ shirt.

James wheezed. “Mate, you saw him! He started it!”

“You winked at him.”

“I panicked!”

“You called him love.”

“I. PANICKED.”

Sirius groaned, rolling off him. “I hate you so much right now.”

James sat up, panting. “Well, good news. Remus totally fancies you.”

Sirius groaned, flopping onto his bed, straight to his pillow. They were in their dorm, of course, Sirius thought it was a great place to murder his best friend if he needed to.

James smirked. “C’mon, Pads. Don’t be a coward.”

Sirius peeked out. “…You think he’d actually want me?”

James rolled his eyes. “He literally said to your face, idiot, when he thought you were me”

Sirius blinked.

“…Oh,” he said quietly.

James folded his arms. “Remus likes you. And unless he regularly goes around telling blokes he wants to snog them, I’d say he has it bad.”

Sirius stared at the ceiling, his mind still catching up to what James had just said.

Remus liked him.

Not just in a casual, friendly way. No, the absolute lunatic had gone and developed real, actual feelings for Sirius.

Sirius’s heart was hammering against his ribs.

James nudged him. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Sirius swallowed.

For years, he had convinced himself that his feelings for Remus were one-sided. That all their flirting was just banter, nothing more.

But now…

Now, he knew the truth.

And suddenly, the idea of doing nothing felt impossible.

James grinned. “You’re gonna kiss him, aren’t you?”

Sirius groaned, shoving him. “Shut up, Prongs.”

James laughed. “I’d hurry if I were you. He might try to kiss me next time.”

Sirius threw a pillow right into James' face

"Ow!" It really did hurt. James groaned, dramatizing. "Stop being so jealous, i like Evans, idiot"

“In the name of our dear Merlin, Prongs, if you so much as think about letting Remus kiss you, I will end you,” Sirius gave him a look.

James, still very much looking like Sirius, just cackled. “I am you, mate! If he kisses me, technically, he’s kissing you! Shouldn’t that be a dream come true?”

Sirius groaned. “I hate you. I hate everything about this. Why did we do this?”

James patted his back. “Because we’re idiots, Pads. Brilliant, beautiful idiots.”

“This is a nightmare. My worst nightmare.”

James sat up, stretching. “Well, unless you plan on hiding me in here for the rest of the day, I’m going to have to keep pretending to be you.”

Sirius bolted upright. “You cannot be trusted!”

James raised an eyebrow. “What choice do we have? The potion’s got, what, four more hours?”

Sirius grumbled, rubbing his temples. “Fine. But if he flirts with you again, do not encourage it. I don’t care if he backs you into a corner, if he sits on your lap, if he—”

“Wait, would he sit on my lap?” James asked, suddenly intrigued.

Sirius rolled his eyes, trying to change the subject. “Are you absolutely sure he likes me?”

James groaned. “For the last time, yes. He literally said, ‘I think I like Sirius.’ He said it to you, when he thought you were me. And, mate, you seen his face. He was serious—”

Sirius sat up, pointing a warning finger at James. “I swear on Merlin’s saggy underpants, if you make a joke about my name right now, I will hex you so badly your own mother won’t recognize you.”

James raised his hands in surrender, still grinning. “Fine, fine. But seriously—” (Sirius glared.) “—what are you going to do about it?”

Sirius flopped back onto his bed, groaning. “Die, probably.”

James threw a pillow at his face. “No, you absolute coward. You’re going to talk to him.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius muttered, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. “What if I ruin it?”

James scoffed. “Mate. You already flirt with him constantly. The only thing that’s gonna change is that you’ll mean it this time.”

Sirius thought about that.

And suddenly—annoyingly—his heart did this stupid little hopeful flutter.

Sirius groaned again, shoving a pillow over his face. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll talk to him.”

James clapped him on the back. “Atta boy.”

Sirius muttered, “If this goes horribly wrong, I’m hexing you first.”

James just smirked. “You’ll be too busy snogging Moony to hex anyone.”

Sirius threw the pillow at his head.

Keep going with the plan...

James barely lasted twenty minutes before Remus found him again.

This time, it was in the library, where James (as Sirius) had attempted to hide, hoping Remus would be too busy actually studying to seek him out.

He was wrong.

“There you are,” Remus said, dropping into the seat across from him. “I thought you’d be off terrorizing first-years or hexing Slytherins, but here you are, in the library of all places.”

James cleared his throat, forcing himself to lean back and smirk. “I happen to enjoy a bit of literature now and then, Moony.”

Remus snorted. “You mean smutty romance novels?”

“Hey, quality smutty romance novels.”

Remus grinned, resting his chin in his hand. “Alright, something is definitely wrong with you today.”

James tried to remain cool, but Remus’s sharp eyes were too much. He suddenly understood why Sirius was always a flustered disaster around him.

“Wrong?” James repeated, hoping he sounded casual. “Nope. Just my usual charming self.”

Remus hummed, tapping his fingers on the table. “You keep saying that. But your flirting is off.”

James nearly had a stroke. “What?”

“You’re usually more… effortless,” Remus mused. “But today, you seem—what’s the word? Flustered?”

James gulped. “Me? Flustered? Never.”

Remus’s lips twitched. Then, without warning, he reached across the table and trailed his fingers over James’s wrist.

James froze.

“So you wouldn’t mind,” Remus murmured, voice low, “if I did this?”

James’s brain exploded.

This was illegal. This was so illegal. Sirius was going to murder him.

But James had a job to do. He had to be Sirius. He had to act like this was normal.

So, summoning every ounce of willpower he had, James forced himself to smirk and say, “Course not, Moony. But if you want to hold my hand, you could just ask.”

Remus smirked right back. “I didn’t say I wanted to.”

James wanted to die.

“Tease,” he muttered, pulling his hand away.

Remus just chuckled. “Always.”

Meanwhile, Sirius—still trapped in James’s body—was losing his entire mind.

He had ditched his own attempt at hiding (which mostly consisted of sulking in the dormitory) and was now lurking around the library, peeking over bookshelves as he watched James flirt with his Moony.

“I hate him,” Sirius whispered furiously to himself, gripping the edge of a shelf.

“Who do you hate?”

Sirius jumped about a foot in the air, turning to see Peter staring at him in confusion.

“Prongs,” Sirius growled, realizing too late he was still wearing James’s face.

Peter blinked. “Er, aren’t you Prongs?”

Sirius groaned. “It’s a long, stupid story.” He turned back toward James and Remus. “I swear to Merlin, if he lets Remus kiss him—”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Wait. Remus might kiss you—I mean, him—I mean—?”

Sirius clamped a hand over Peter’s mouth. “Not another word, Wormtail.”

Peter made a muffled sound of agreement, and Sirius let him go just in time to see James standing up, stretching.

“I should go,” James was saying. “Y’know, places to be, people to impress—”

Remus grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back down. “Stay.”

Sirius almost fainted.

James, for his part, looked like he wanted to cry. “Er—okay?”

Remus tilted his head, studying him. Then, after a beat, he smirked. “You’re terrible at hiding things, you know.”

James gulped. “Hiding what?”

Remus leaned in slightly, voice barely above a whisper. “That you like me.”

James, for the hundredth time that day, nearly dropped dead on the spot.

Sirius whimpered.

Remus, appearing completely unbothered, just smiled knowingly and stood. “See you later, Pads.”

And then, just to make things worse, he winked.

James waited until Remus was out of earshot before turning in sheer horror to where Sirius was (badly) hiding behind a bookshelf.

“What do I do?” he mouthed.

Sirius just stared at him.

Then, very dramatically, he turned around, grabbed the book and slammed it in his head. This was a very traumatizing experience for Sirius, and he really wished to unsee it.

Sirius was spiraling.

James—in his body—had just been told by Remus Lupin that he knew Sirius liked him.

And worst of all? That bloody wink.

Sirius had always thought himself unshakable—cool, confident, devastatingly charming. But right now, he was gripping a bookshelf like it was the only thing keeping him from collapsing.

James was still staring at him in horror.

“Pads,” he hissed. “Pads!”

Sirius didn’t move.

“I think I’m going to die,” he whispered.

James groaned, marching over and grabbing his shoulders. “Get a bloody grip! We need a plan!”

Sirius snapped his head up, eyes wild. “A plan?! A PLAN?! The plan was to not flirt with Moony, and look how that turned out!”

James threw his hands up. ��Mate, I didn’t try to flirt with him! He’s scary! I swear he can smell fear, and I was practically drenched in it!”

Well, yeah, Remus was a werewolf so this theory was not entirely false.

Sirius groaned, dragging his hands down his face—James’s face. “This is an actual nightmare.”

Peter, who had been standing quietly by the bookshelves, finally spoke. “Er… guys?”

“What?” Sirius and James snapped at the same time.

Peter pointed to the entrance of the library, where Remus had stopped just before leaving.

And now?

Now, he was walking back toward them.

James blanched. Sirius nearly screamed.

“Act normal!” Sirius whisper-shouted.

“I don’t know what normal is anymore!” James whisper-shouted back.

Remus was almost to them.

James did the only thing he could think of—he spun around, trying to look busy, grabbing the first book he could find and opening it.

Upside down.

Sirius, watching from behind him, whimpered.

“Hey,” Remus said casually as he approached.

James let out a noise that was somewhere between a squeak and a cough. “H-Hey, Moony.”

Sirius covered his face with both hands.

Remus’s gaze flicked to the upside-down book. “Good read?”

James looked down. Swore. Flipped the book over with a forced laugh. “Oh, y’know. Classic.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, then leaned over to glance at the title.

James followed his gaze.

Advanced Arithmancy Theories.

James nearly blacked out.

Remus grinned.

“You?” he asked. “Reading Arithmancy?”

James panicked. “Er—yeah! Big fan of…uh…numbers?”

Sirius gagged.

Remus crossed his arms, smirking. “Alright, what is going on with you today?”

James glanced at Sirius in desperation. Sirius shook his head violently.

“Nothing!” James blurted. “Just… having a weird day!”

Remus hummed, watching him carefully. Then, with the most infuriatingly amused expression, he said, “You know, I don’t mind this Sirius.”

James blinked. “This… Sirius?”

Remus smiled, tilting his head slightly. “The one that gets all flustered around me.”

James made a strangled noise.

Sirius, behind him, grabbed Peter’s arm in a death grip.

“I do not get flustered,” James tried to argue.

Remus’s smirk widened. “Mm. Sure.”

James could feel Sirius vibrating with suppressed rage behind him.

Remus leaned in slightly, eyes dancing. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re hiding something from me.”

James gulped. “M-Me? No! I don’t—why would you think that?”

Remus studied him for a moment, then gave a slow, knowing smile. “Alright, Padfoot. I’ll leave you be.”

James nearly melted in relief. “Right. Brilliant.”

Remus turned to leave, but before he walked away, he casually reached out—

—And brushed Sirius' long hair out of his face, well, James' face.

Sirius died.

James stiffened like a corpse.

Remus just chuckled and walked away.

The moment he was gone, Sirius grabbed James and shook him.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

James flailed. “I DON’T KNOW, HE’S A MENACE—”

Peter, who had been watching everything, whispered, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Sirius turned on him. “DON’T START, WORMTAIL.”

James, still reeling, exhaled sharply. “Well. You’re screwed, mate.”

Sirius groaned. “I know.”

“You have to talk to him. Properly.”

“I know.”

James nudged him. “And you have to tell him the truth. About your feelings.”

Sirius inhaled sharply. Exhaled. Then, begrudgingly—

“I know.”

The aftermath

The moment the Polyjuice Potion wore off, James let out a massive sigh of relief, rubbing his own face as if he had just escaped certain death.

Sirius, meanwhile, was pacing back and forth in their dormitory, running his hands through his own hair again. Thank Merlin. He felt like himself again.

“Okay,” James said, throwing himself onto his bed. “I’m free. My debt is paid. I am never pretending to be you again.”

“You think you’re relieved?” Sirius snapped, spinning to face him. “You didn’t have to watch yourself—me—getting bloody seduced by Moony.”

James snorted. “Seduced? That was barely anything, Pads.”

Sirius shot him a look so deadly it could have rivaled the Killing Curse.

Peter, sitting on his bed, shook his head in amazement. “Y’know, I still can’t believe Remus flirted with you that much.”

Sirius threw his hands up. His mind suddenly realizing. "Because he knew." He said in almost a whisper.

James and Peter blinked.

“What?” James said slowly.

Sirius groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “He knew it was you the whole bloody time! He had to! Moony is not an idiot!”

James sat up straighter. “You think?”

Peter looked between them, eyes widening. “Oh. Ohhhhhh.”

Sirius pointed aggressively at Peter. “Exactly.”

James considered this, then said, “Yeah, that actually makes way too much sense.”

Sirius flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “He did it on purpose. He wanted to humiliate us.”

James smirked. “Well, mission accomplished.”

Sirius groaned. “I hate him.”

Peter snorted. “No, you don’t.”

Sirius sighed, rolling onto his side. “I really, really don’t.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then James clapped his hands. “Right! So. Now that Moony clearly knows about your massive, embarrassing crush, what’s the plan?”

Sirius glared at him. “Plan?”

James leaned forward. “The plan, Pads. The confession. The I’m in love with you, Remus, please snog me senseless moment.”

Sirius made a choking noise.

Peter tilted his head. “Y’know, he did kinda make the first move. Multiple times.”

Sirius groaned. “That was him teasing. He wasn’t being serious.”

James smirked. “Well, maybe it’s time you were.”

Sirius sat up sharply. “You want me to tell Moony I like him?”

James nodded enthusiastically.

Peter nodded too. “Yeah, we’d really like to stop hearing you talk about it in your sleep.”

Sirius froze.

James grinned.

Peter, completely unbothered, continued, “Last week you sighed and whispered, ‘Moony, your eyes are like—’”

Sirius lunged at him. “SHUT UP, WORMTAIL.”

Peter cackled, dodging him.

James clapped his hands again. “Right. Enough stalling. Pads, you’re going to go find Moony, right now, and actually talk to him.”

Sirius hesitated. “What if he was just messing with us? What if he doesn’t—”

James grabbed his shoulders. “Sirius. Mate. He knows you like him. And he clearly likes you too. So get off your dramatic arse and do something about it.”

Sirius swallowed.

Then, without another word, he stood, inhaled deeply—

And walked out the door.

Moments later...

Remus was sitting by the fire in the common room, legs stretched out, a book in his lap, looking perfectly calm. Too calm. Like someone who had just set an elaborate trap and was waiting for it to be sprung.

Sirius stopped in front of him, heart pounding.

Remus didn’t even look up. “Oh, finally.”

Sirius blinked. “Finally?”

Remus turned a page in his book. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to grow a spine.”

Sirius gaped. “You knew.”

Remus finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Of course I knew.”

Sirius’s brain short-circuited.

Remus smirked. “I’m a werewolf, Sirius. You two could swap faces, voices, mannerisms, but you can’t swap scents.” He shrugged. “I knew the second James walked up to me pretending to be you.”

Sirius sputtered. “And you—you let him—you flirted with him!”

Remus leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand. “Oh, that?” He smiled sweetly. “That was just for fun.”

Sirius clutched his chest. “You’re evil.”

Remus smirked. “A little.”

Sirius groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Why do I like you so much?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You tell me.”

Sirius froze.

The fire crackled between them.

Remus’s smirk faded into something softer, something real.

“Sirius,” he said quietly. “Just say it.”

Sirius swallowed. Inhaled.

Then, voice steady, he said, “I like you.”

Remus’s eyes flickered with something unreadable. “How much?”

Sirius let out a breathless laugh. “Too much.”

Remus’s lips twitched. “Good.”

Then, slowly, finally, Remus reached for Sirius’s wrist, tugging him down until their faces were inches apart.

Sirius’s heart was hammering. “So, uh. What happens now?”

Remus smiled. “Well.” He tilted his head. “You could kiss me.”

Sirius barely had time to breathe before he did exactly that.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i am always eternally amused by the idea that the Mist hiding baby Jason being a human child in Lupa's pack to mortals just. made him look like a wolf pup. so as far as mortals are/the state of California is concerned Jason is legally a wolf.

[mcchi-ken]

fiddauthor galore featuring: another pmmm crossover, me getting the hang of drawing that wonky man (fiddleford), and a wip

the last one is a very obscure entirely italian reference but if you get it. i will give you a little kiss 😋 little hint: its a music video. you know this song. your dad loves it. there's the word gravity in it thats why i chose it

[formulanni]

Genuinely Williams switching Logan out for Franco feels personal and petty. I haven’t been following f2 super closely this year but from what I’ve seen Franco is just.. fine? I mean, he’s good, but he’s not Kimi or Paul. To replace Logan at this point would only make sense if they swapped him for someone with loads more experience, someone more likely to score points. At this point they’re swapping him for someone who’s probably gonna have his same level of performance, if not worse. It just feels almost petty? It’s like a weirdly personal move and it just makes me think about all of the reports of JV’s alleged mistreatment and silent treatment towards Logan.

[shreddeddescent]

accepting what you cant change, facing your worst fear and finding comfort in it, not equating the consequences of an act with the act itself, and kind of accepting yourself through it all.

im insane.

[sieglinde-freud]

oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng

[nostalgia-tblr]

okay sorry to be a judgey bitch about literally everything (she lied) but i am halfway through the night manager and the plot of this episode seems to be that Blond Loki is being kept on an island for no obvious reason (possibly as a living sex doll?) and he wanders it meeting people who just instantly start explaining part of the plot to him. like this woman:

This is literally the first conversation I remember these characters having and this is the first topic she goes for. WTF. And I don't know what happens after this but if they AREN'T all playing a weird mindgame where they're all feeding him lies I will be disappointed as this is like watching someone play one of those video games where you have to go up to every NPC and ask them for a sidequest and/or plot info. There's a scene where a literal child starts expositing about secret rooms in the house and the magical items he'd need to find to access them to get to the portal to Hyrule.

I don't understand this, it is very odd. But this is the pattern so far, and sometimes the other characters are expositing because they want to fuck him (see above re: sex doll theory) but I don't think that's officially the plot. Is Hugh Laurie keeping him as a pet?

I do think maybe the Evil Gay Guy (so far the most entertaining character and therefore the best one) might be messing with him, otherwise it is hard to explain why you would approach a man, tell him not to fuck one specific woman, and then go back to the shop where you sell potions to plucky adventurers. I mean why would you do that unless you were trying to get him to fuck that one specific woman?

One of the amusing mini-games in this RPG is called "Who Is He Going To Fuck Next?"

(This is a different woman. She is not specific and so I assume she is on the 'fuckable' list.)

After I took that screenshot she asked why Hugh Laurie was keeping him on the island of fuckable NPC quest-givers. Blond Loki said he doesn't know. I don't know either. But it's okay, she has more information about the plot to share with him.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asks. IT'S HER JOB, BLOND LOKI, DON'T MAKE HER QUESTION HER ROLE IN THIS GAME >:( SHE WILL BECOME SENTIENT LIKE IN THAT EPISODE OF STAR TREK.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[infiniteglitterfall]

Me, looking through books on Palestine: "Ilan Pappé wrote one called 'The Biggest Prison On Earth?!' People in Gaza hate it being called a prison. There's an entire hashtag for it. There's been an account dedicated to collecting pics and videos of #TheGazaYouDontSee for 6 years.

"Is Pappé even Palestinian? oh god wait I can tell already. this is gonna be an 'Israeli apologist' isn't it." Internet: "Yeah, Pappé's Israeli."

Me: "For fuck's--- so people will believe Israelis unquestioningly if they're shit-talking Israel, but in all other situations, Israelis are all liars?"

Internet: "Pretty much. Also, at best, Ilan Pappé must be one of the world’s sloppiest historians."

Me, admittedly in full schadenfreude now: "What?!?!"

Internet: "Benny Morris. That historian who's extremely hard-core about primary source documentation, who wrote that detailed book about how and why each group of Palestinian refugees left in 1947-9. He reviewed three books about Palestine."

Me: "Holy shit. And the book by Pappé is about the Husaynis. The family that Nazi war criminal Amin al-Husseini came from, the guy who fucked absolutely everything up for both Israel and Palestine."

Internet: "That's the one. Morris wrote, 'At best, Ilan Pappe must be one of the world’s sloppiest historians; at worst, one of the most dishonest. In truth, he probably merits a place somewhere between the two.'"

Me: "Why??"

Internet: "He says, 'Here is a clear and typical example—in detail, which is where the devil resides—of Pappe’s handiwork. I take this example from The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine'....

"Blah blah blah, basically in 1947 the UN voted to partition the land into Palestine and Israel, and extremist militias started shooting at Jewish towns and people. David Ben-Gurion was the leader of the Jewish community there, and his journal describes a visit from a scientist named Aharon Katzir, telling him about an experiment codenamed "Shimshon." Morris gives us the journal entry:

...An experiment was conducted on animals. The researchers were clothed in gas masks and suit. The suit costs 20 grush, the mask about 20 grush (all must be bought immediately). The operation [or experiment] went well. No animal died, the [animals] remained dazzled [as when a car’s headlights dazzle an oncoming driver] for 24 hours. There are some 50 kilos [of the gas]. [They] were moved to Tel Aviv. The [production] equipment is being moved here. On the laboratory level, some 20 kilos can be produced per day.

"Morris says, 'This is the only accessible source that exists, to the best of my knowledge, about the meeting and the gas experiment, and it is the sole source cited by Pappe for his description of the meeting and the "Shimshon" project. But this is how Pappe gives the passage in English:

Katzir reported to Ben-Gurion: 'We are experimenting with animals. Our researchers were wearing gas masks and adequate outfit. Good results. The animals did not die (they were just blinded). We can produce 20 kilos a day of this stuff.'

"'The translation is flecked with inaccuracies, but the outrage is in Pappe’s perversion of "dazzled," or sunveru, to "blinded"—in Hebrew "blinded" would be uvru, the verb not used by Ben-Gurion—coupled with the willful omission of the qualifier '"for 24 hours."'

"'Pappe’s version of this text is driven by something other than linguistic and historiographical accuracy. Published in English for the English-speaking world, where animal-lovers are legion and deliberately blinding animals would be regarded as a barbaric act, the passage, as published by Pappe, cannot fail to provoke a strong aversion to Ben-Gurion and to Israel.

"'Such distortions, large and small, characterize almost every page of The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine. So I should add, to make the historical context perfectly clear, that no gas was ever used in the war of 1948 by any of the participants. [Or, he later notes, by either Israel or Palestine ever.] Pappe never tells the reader this.

"'Raising the subject of gas is historical irrelevance. But the paragraph will dangle in the reader’s imagination as a dark possibility, or worse, a dark reality: the Jews, gassed by the Nazis three years before, were about to gas, or were gassing, Arabs.'"

Me: "Uuuuggghhhhhhhhh. Yeah, it will."

Internet: "He does say, 'Palestinian Dynasty was a good idea.' Then he does some really detailed historian-dragging about the lack of primary sources and reliance on people's interpretations of what they say instead.

"'Almost all of Pappe’s references direct the reader to books and articles in English, Hebrew, and Arabic by other scholars, or to the memoirs of various Arab politicians, which are not the most reliable of sources. Occasionally there is a reference to an Arab or Western travelogue or genealogy, or to a diplomat’s memoir; but there is barely an allusion to documents in the relevant British, American, and Zionist/Israeli archives.

"'When referring to the content of American consular reports about Arab riots in the 1920s, for example, Pappe invariably directs the reader to an article in Hebrew by Gideon Biger—“The American Consulate in Jerusalem and the Events of 1920-1921,” in Cathedra, September 1988—and not to the documents themselves, which are easily accessible in the United States National Archive.

"'Those who falsify history routinely take the path of omission. They ignore crucial facts and important pieces of evidence while cherry-picking from the documentation to prove a case. 

"'Those who falsify history routinely take the path of omission. They ignore crucial facts and important pieces of evidence while cherry-picking from the documentation to prove a case. 

"'But Pappe is more brazen. He, too, often omits and ignores significant evidence, and he, too, alleges that a source tells us the opposite of what it in fact says, but he will also simply and straightforwardly falsify evidence.

"'Consider his handling of the Arab anti-Jewish riots of the 1920s.

"'Pappe writes of the “Nabi Musa” riots in April 1920: “The [British] Palin Commission... reported that the Jewish presence in the country was provoking the Arab population and was the cause of the riots.” He also quotes at length Musa Kazim al-Husayni, the clan’s leading notable at the time, to the effect that “it was not the [Arab] Hebronites who had started the riots but the Jews.”

"'But the (never published) [Palin Commission Report], while forthrightly anti-Zionist, thereby accurately reflecting the prevailing views in the British military government that ruled Palestine until mid-1920, flatly and strikingly charged the Arabs with responsibility for the bloodshed.

"'The team chaired by Major-General P.C. Palin wrote that “it is perfectly clear that with... few exceptions the Jews were the sufferers, and were, moreover, the victims of a peculiarly brutal and cowardly attack, the majority of the casualties being old men, women and children.” The inquiry pointed out that whereas 216 Jews were killed or injured, the British security forces and the Jews, in defending themselves or in retaliatory attacks, caused only twenty-five Arab casualties.'"

Me: "Yeah. I'm looking at that report right now and it says there had been an explosion, and then people were looting Jewish stores and beating Jews with stones, and in one case stabbing someone. Some people said that some Jews got up on the roof of a hotel and retaliated by throwing stones themselves.

"And then it literally says, 'The point as to the retaliation by Jews is of importance because it seems to have impressed the Military and led them to imagine that the Jews were to some extent responsible for provoking the rising.' That's the only thing it really says about anyone blaming the Jews.

"Except.... the very beginning gives some historical context. And it does say that when the Balfour Declaration came out, Muslims and Christians 'considered that they were to be handed over to an oppression which they hated far more than the Turk's and were aghast at the thought of this domination....

"'If this intensity of feeling proceeded merely from wounded pride of race and disappointment in political aspirations, it would be easier to criticise and rebuke: but it must be borne in mind that at the bottom of all is a deepseated fear of the Jew, both as a possible ruler and as an economic competitor. Rightly or wrongly they fear the Jew as a ruler, regarding his race as one of the most intolerant known to history....

"'The prospect of extensive Jewish immigration fills him with a panic fear, which may be exaggerated, but is none the less genuine. He sees the ablest race intellectually in the world, past-masters in all the arts of ousting competitors whether on the market, in the farm or the bureaucratic offices, backed by apparently inexhaustible funds given by their compatriots in all lands and possessed of powerful influence in the councils of the nations, prepared to enter the lists against him in every one of his normal occupations, backed by the one thing wanted to make them irresistible, the physical force of a great Imperial Power, and he feels himself overmastered and defeated before the contest is begun.'

"Wow! What a great fucking example of how 'positive' stereotypes are actually used to fuck people over! We're not antisemitic, we actually think Jews are the smartest, most powerful, richest group with tremendous global power! So positive!! Not at all being used here to justify antisemitic violence!

"Also, immigration from all over the world actually meant that different agricultural and manufacturing techniques were brought into the region, and yes, financial investments to start businesses sometimes, which meant that Arab Palestinians there had the highest per capita income in the Middle East, the highest daily wages, and started a lot of businesses of their own. But go off, I guess."

"Anyfuckingway.... it basically says that the Muslims and Christians were angry and scared, the Jews were too quick to set up the functioning government that the Brits were supposed to be there to help both sides create -- and which the Arab leaders completely refused to create for Palestine, because (1) fascists and (2) didn't want Jews nearby -- and that they were "ready prey for any form of agitation hostile to the British Government and the Jews." Then it says the movement for a United Syria was agitating them real hard, and so were the Sherifians.

"Is that what Ilan Passe, I mean Pappe, meant by the Palin Report blaming the Jews?! That when it says it's understandable the Arabs were freaking out, because antisemitism, Pappe thinks it's saying the Jews were provoking them?!"

Internet: "I don't know. I kinda tuned out after the first hour you were talking."

Me: "OGH MY GOD"

Internet: "So anyway, then Morris ALSO says, 'About the 1929 “Temple Mount” riots, which included two large-scale massacres of Jews, in Hebron and in Safed, Pappe writes: “The opposite camp, Zionist and British, was no less ruthless [than the Arabs]. In Jaffa a Jewish mob murdered seven Palestinians.”

Me: "What the ENTIRE FUCK? There was no united 'Zionist and British' camp! The Brits would barely let any Holocaust refugees in, ffs!"

Internet: "Morris says, 'Actually, there were no massacres of Arabs by Jews, though a number of Arabs were killed when Jews defended themselves or retaliated after Arab violence.

"'Pappe adds that the British “Shaw Commission,” so-called because it was chaired by Sir Walter Shaw (a former chief justice of the Straits Settlements), which investigated the riots, “upheld the basic Arab claim that Jewish provocations had caused the violent outbreak. ‘The principal cause... was twelve years of pro-Zionist [British] policy.’”

"'It is unclear what Pappe is quoting from. I did not find this sentence in the commission’s report. Pappe’s bibliography refers, under “Primary Sources,” simply to “The Shaw Commission.” The report? The deliberations? Memoranda by or about? Who can tell?

"'The footnote attached to the quote, presumably to give its source, says, simply, “Ibid.”

"'The one before it says, “Ibid., p. 103.”

"'The one before that says, “The Shaw Commission, session 46, p. 92.”

"'But the quoted passage does not appear on page 103 of the report.

"In the text of Palestinian Dynasty, Pappe states that “Shaw wrote [this] after leaving the country [Palestine].” But if it is not in the report, where did Shaw “write” it?'"

Me: "I'M ON IT. [rapid-fire googling] OMG. This is.... Not the first time. In 'The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine,' he reported that in a 1937 letter to his son, David Ben-Gurion declared: 'The Arabs will have to go, but one needs an opportune moment for making it happen, such as war.'

"It's not in the source he gave. It's not in any of the three different sources he's given for it.

"He apparently has never responded to any requests for an explanation, either from the journal he published in, or from other historians. But it says he did "obliquely [acknowledge] the controversy in an article in Electronic Intifada, in which he portrayed himself as the victim of intimidation at the hands of “Zionist hooligans.”'

"This is absolutely fucking wild. THEN it says the chair of the Ethics Committee where he was teaching eventually said that the second part of the quote ('but one needs,' etc) was a (combined?) paraphrase of a diary entry and a speech Ben-Gurion gave, and that the first half is 'based on' a letter to his son.

"And it's so convincing! The chair says, 'Shabtai Teveth[,] Ben Gurion’s biographer, Benny Morris and the historian Nur Maslaha have all quoted this letter. In fact their translation was stronger than the quotation from Professor Pappé: ‘We must expel the Arabs and take their place.’ Professor Pappé has documentary evidence of these quotations and the source will ensure that this is correctly cited in any future editions of the publication or related studies.'

"And IT'S NOT EVEN TRUE?!

"Ben-Gurion's actual diary entry (not a letter) says the opposite.

“'We do not want and do not need to expel Arabs and take their places.... All our aspiration is built on the assumption – proven throughout all our activity – that there is enough room in the country for ourselves and the Arabs.'

"Benny Morris misquoted it as "We must expel the Arabs and take their places" in the English version of his 1987 book The Birth of the Palestinian Refugee Problem, although it was correct in the Hebrew version. He corrected himself in the 2001 book Righteous Victims.

"Teveth also misquoted it in the English version of his 1985 book Ben-Gurion and the Palestinian Arabs, but again, had it correct in the Hebrew edition.

"And both Morris and Teveth explicitly point out the rest of the entry. The part about all their aspiration being built on the assumption and experience that there was enough room in the country for everyone.

"Historian Efraim Karsh’s 1997 book Fabricating Israeli History pointed out and corrected their mistakes.

"This is apparently a very well-known issue among historians of Israel and Palestine. It was a big deal in 2003, when an evangelist Christian publisher put out a book FULL of disinformation, which not only used the same quote as Pappe does, but also could not give a real source for it.

"But Pappe STILL USED THE MISQUOTE AND DOUBLED DOWN ON IT EVERY SINGLE TIME."

Internet: "Are you done? I know all this already."

Me: "Also, there are literally only two places where the phrase 'twelve years of pro-Zionist policy' shows up online, and they're both about Pappe making quotes up.

"NOW I'm done."

Benny Morris wasn't, though. The review continues at the link below. And the next part starts, "To the deliberate slanting of history Pappe adds a profound ignorance of basic facts. Together these sins and deficiencies render his “histories” worthless as representations of the past, though they are important as documents in the current political and historiographic disputations about the Arab-Israeli conflict. Pappe’s grasp of the facts of World War I, for example, is weak in the extreme."

[icewindandboringhorror]

Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol

[cursezoroark]

confrontation

[rolandkaros]

holiday season sucks

[quirkle2]

I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?

VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery

ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny

but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out

in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it

besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!

tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood

when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)

actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3

[skitskatdacat63]

@lesharl-eclair here is the vettonso timeline I mentioned at some point!! I was gonna make a more refined version but ah, the original is fine so I'm posting it for you <3

Its written so its as if their careers began at the same time. There's obviously some parts where they deviate from each other(I blame Fernando), but they're pretty similar, no??

Here's some notes I have:

They both started at technically the same team(if you ignore that Seb raced one race for Sauber): Minardi/STR. And they spent 3 seasons either racing for that team or testing(Fernando for Renault, Seb for BMW teams), before being promoted to the team where they won their respective WDCS.

They both spent six seasons with their WDC team. And both won their WDCs using Renault engines. Both were pretty much the golden boys of their teams, beloved by their team principal and team in general. Unfortunately both aren't consecutive because Fernando tried out McLaren lol.

They spent a similar amount of years at Ferrari(five and six respectively.) Neither could win a WDC with Ferrai(😔) And both joined Ferrari in a very similar way. When Fernando joined, he ousted Kimi and it was very uncertain where Kimi was going. I think the commentators in 2009 predicted McLaren? (But he ended up taking a sabbatical obv.) But pretty messy, right? The literal same exact thing happened with Fernando and Seb in 2014-2015. They finally announced at the end of the season, even though it was pretty obvious, that Seb would be replacing Fernando. And where did Fernando go? McLaren! The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself. I guess I find it funny that Fernando replaced his former rival under somewhat messy circumstances, only for his other rival to do the exact same thing to him years later.

Okay McHonda and Alpine blah blah blah. Anyways they're probably going to have both end up competing their careers after two years with Aston Martin. This honestly is my favorite parallel. Because it's very sweet to me that Seb replaced Fernando, in an aforementioned messy way, only for Fernando to take Seb's seat in a very peaceful, almost "passing the torch" type exchange 🥰

[kdranime]

.

[daz4i]

i don't understand why plants are a basic gift like this feels like smth you should only give someone if you know they're actively looking to get it (and then you should also get a specific type they may be looking for) or if they're already known as someone who likes plants. if i move out on my own and you get me a plant as a housewarming gift i will send you home with it immediately