#wow this took me like a week to finally finish lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

helloalycia · 11 months ago

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: after you hear about Lucy Gray's breakup, you wonder if you'll finally have a chance with her. Of course, your father, the head peacekeeper, can never know you like the 'troublemaker' from the Covey.

warning/s: none i don't think?

author's note: okay so after a million years i finally got this one written, an idea that came to me like a week ago and took forever to write because life lol. I hope you all like it anyway, it’s a three parter and was fun to write :)

something to note - Y/BF/N = your best friend's name and Y/D/N = your dad's name

two / three / masterlist / wattpad

"...and I told him that he shouldn't say stuff he doesn't mean, especially when it's just plain old rude, but of course he didn't care..."

I hummed, nodding along as my best friend, Y/BF/N, rambled about an encounter she'd had with one of her neighbours, but I was also glancing around the hallway casually. It was the end of the school day and I was waiting for Y/BF/N to collect her books from her locker so we could go, but she easily got distracted.

Apparently so did I though, as my eyes fell upon Lucy Gray Baird, a talented musician and outsider in my grade, part of a group called the Covey that everyone either tended to avoid or fell in love with for their musical charm. I always found her fascinating, beautiful, as many others did, but she had a boyfriend which pretty much meant there was no chance there. Still, it didn't hurt to admire her.

She was talking to another member of the Covey, Tam Amber, when she accidentally walked into none other than the mayor's daughter, Mayfair Lipp. It wouldn't have mattered so much if there wasn't a clear tension between both girls.

"If only you could open your eyes like you open your damn mouth," Mayfair snapped at her, making passers-by glance their way, listening in.

"Was an accident," was all Lucy Gray said, and she didn't seem very apologetic.

Mayfair scoffed. "'Course it was. A lot of things with you seem to be, don't they?"

Lucy Gray rolled her eyes as Tam Amber tugged her away, the two girls going their separate ways. Y/BF/N, who had stopped talking to observe the argument with everyone else, tried to stifle her laughter.

"Wow, their hatred for each other does not seem to be going away, does it?" she commented to me.

"Do you know why they don't like each other?" I asked, curious.

Y/BF/N shrugged, closing her locker. "Mayfair's jealous, I think. Dunno why, since she's literally the mayor's daughter and the Covey are just a bunch of weirdos singing for their supper."

"They aren't weird," I corrected her as we walked outside. "They're talented. A little different, is all."

"Same thing," Y/BF/N mumbled. "Don't go saying that to your dad. You know how he feels about them."

I tried not to laugh. "He feels like that about anything fun."

Y/BF/N cracked a smile, before chuckling. "Very true."

My father was the head peacekeeper of our district, a very strict man who was a little too overprotective for my liking. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the hard work he put in which meant I could live in the nice part of town and never struggle to have a meal on the table. That was something not everyone in District 12 could count on. But it also meant he hated anything that wasn't to his standard.

He had high hopes for me, hoping I'd land a rare but possible job in the Justice Building when I finished school. It wasn't too far fetched considering I was a straight A student. But he also thought I was a goody two shoes who followed the rules – oh, how that couldn't have been far from the truth. If he ever found out how I snuck out at night to visit the Hob and flirt with most of his unit, I was certain he'd have a heart attack.

Being the head peacekeeper's daughter meant that it was out of my hands when he had to attend something important and I, too, had to be present. For example, today was Mayfair's birthday and the mayor had thrown a formal affair in her honour, of which my family had been invited to.

I tolerated Mayfair, but despite our similar stance in society, we didn't share anything else in common. She was too snarky and easily irritated and always killed the mood, so I remained polite with her and that was it. Her party was as boring as she was, full of the mayor's friends, the odd Capitol resident from her dad's circle, and their kids whom I wasn't sure Mayfair even spoke to. If she had any real friends, they weren't here.

Her home was pretty big, for a District 12 house anyway, which made sense since the mayor was the richest in the district, though poor by any other Panem standard. I kept to myself during her celebrations, occasionally chatting with my mum and her friends or picking at the snacks table. That was until a special performance, dedicated solely to Mayfair from her father himself, was announced. An amused grin fell on my lips when I saw who it was.

The Covey.

"Ladies an' gentlemen, how are we feelin' this afternoon?!" Lucy Gray said into her mic at the front of the space cleared in the huge dining room.

Everybody began to clap as I saw the mayor tugging his daughter to the left of the makeshift stage. To say she was angry was an understatement. But if Lucy Gray had any qualms with the arrangement, she didn't let it show.

"This one's for the birthday girl," Lucy Gray continued, smiling widely at the glaring girl in question. "Happy birthday, dear Mayfair."

After the count of three, the Covey were plucking their strings, banging their drums and joining together in a melodious rendition of 'Happy Birthday', and I tried very hard not to laugh as Mayfair was forced to endure it all. To be fair, the Covey were great, and when they performed several songs after that, half the party were cheering them on, either drunk or genuinely amazed by their talent.

Once they'd finished performing for a moment and took a break, Mayfair stormed off with her father in tow, who was attempting not to draw attention to the mishap with his party guests. Again, I couldn't help but stifle my laughter at the turn of events.

Lucy Gray caught my eyes again though, as she was approaching the snacks table I was sat at the edge of, in search of something.

"You guys performed great out there," I said to her when she was close enough, and she glanced up at me, before recognition flashed across her face and she began to smile.

"Why thank you."

"Bet you loved the gig," I said lightheartedly, and it took her a moment to realise what I was implying when she began to laugh.

"It wasn't ideal," she said in a low yet amused voice, "but a job's a job. And technically Mayfair's daddy hired us, not her."

I chuckled to myself. "Hey, it was pretty funny to witness. I'm not complaining."

She shot me a disapproving look as she tossed a grape into her mouth, but a playful smile was breaking out on her lips.

"I didn't know you and Mayfair were so close," she said with intrigue, flipping the conversation to me.

"We're not," I corrected. "Kind of a package deal when my dad's invited to these things. But your performance certainly made this whole thing worth it."

She began to smile, cheeks turning pink slightly. "You've seen our performances enough times now. You ain't sick of me yet?"

I gasped sarcastically. "Lucy Gray, I could never be sick of you. What nonsense are you talkin' about?"

Her smile widened with amusement, before her eyes flickered behind me. "Your daddy's coming. I should go. Wouldn't want him to find out about your sneakin' out and blame it on me."

"As far as he knows, you're a stranger," I played along with a teasing wink, before straightening up and turning around to face my dad.

I heard Lucy Gray walking away behind me just in time for my dad to smile down at me.

"Y/N, how are you enjoying the party?" he asked.

I smiled innocently. "It's great, dad, thanks for bringing me."

He nodded. "Good, I'm glad."

I glanced over my shoulder as he began to talk about what the mayor was saying to him earlier, searching for the Covey girl. Then I spotted her, talking to her family across the room and also shooting me a glance, her cheeky smile on her lips, mirroring mine.

A little flirting didn't hurt anybody, right?

With my father's job came many responsibilities that meant he had a lot of late nights at their base camp, including the weekend when I sneaked out the house to meet Y/BF/N at the Hob and have some fun. It was difficult at first, making sure I timed it right so my mum would be asleep when I left and also generally sneaking downstairs and out the back door. But the more I did it, the easier it became, and soon enough it was second nature.

By the time I reached the Hob tonight, everything was in full swing. The Covey were performing as usual and everybody was up and dancing. I found Y/BF/N at a table, flirting with some boys from our grade. It didn't take long for me to join them, and between the two of us, we landed free drinks just because we played our cards right.

It was so freeing at the Hob, not having to worry about my dad breathing down my neck or about being such a goody two shoes in his eyes. No, here I could do whatever I wanted. The night was always young and nobody could stop me from having fun.

I found myself dancing around with a peacekeeper, Terrence, who had finished his shift for the day and always happened to be around when I did. He'd been flirting for a while and it was easy to play along, have a little fun.

"It's too bad I can't be lookin' for a wife," he said with a boyish grin as he spun me around. "You'd be my first choice."

I tried not to laugh as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Yeah, that's too bad for you."

"Your dad would kill me if he knew what I was doing," he said, leaning in close for a kiss.

But I tilted his head and pressed one to his cheek instead, before saying in his ear, "Good thing he won't ever find out, right?"

He snorted. "Right."

I smiled contently, before letting him spin me around some more. It was always so easy to do what I wanted here without the fear of it getting back to my father because either everyone was scared of him and what power he held, or they knew it was my word against theirs and my father would never believe them. Besides, I was doing no harm. Some people just wanted a dance and a little flirting, which was exactly what I gave them. What was the big deal?

After finishing my dance with Terrence, I joined Y/BF/N's side again, grabbing her hands and pulling her onto the dancefloor for one final dance for the evening. She laughed, letting me, and we began to chat as we swung about gently.

"How was your dance with Terrence?" she asked with amusement. "You still leadin' the poor boy on?"

"It's not leading him on if he knows it's just a dance," I reminded her. "Besides, it can never happen. He's in my dad's unit. And I don't even like him like that."

"You just flirt with him for fun," she said sarcastically, but I grinned anyway.

"Duh."

Laughing again, she let me spin her around, and then my eyes found sight of Lucy Gray beside the stage. She was talking to her boyfriend, Billy Taupe, the two of them looking awfully cosy with one another. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, knowing it was just an irrational jealousy, nothing more. I'd never even hinted that I'd liked her, and she'd been taken for a while now, but it was easy to wonder what if.

"You're staring," Y/BF/N noticed, before following my gaze. "Ooh, Y/N, you've gotta let that one go. She's trouble, I heard."

"I didn't even say anything," I defended myself.

"You don't need to," she said knowingly. "Your face says it all. And I'm warning you now. It's not worth it."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly. "Yeah, yeah, just keep dancing, idiot."

She stifled a chuckle and we got back to it, but not without me stealing one last lingering glance at Lucy Gray.

Of course, after that evening, news of her and Billy Taupe travelled all around school. Rumour had it that he'd cheated on her with Mayfair and, as a result, they'd broken up. Of course it was horrible to hear, but admittedly, the first thing I wondered was did I finally have a chance?

Almost two weeks after hearing the news of Lucy Gray's breakup, I was at the Hob again. I'd been watching the Covey perform all evening, though this time without Billy Taupe who was permanently out of the band it seemed. I'd been waiting for Lucy Gray to be free so I could attempt to make a move.

And after what felt like forever, she finally took to the bar to have some water, and I sucked up a breath before approaching her with a skip in my step.

"Lucy Gray," I started with a smile, earning her attention. "You okay?"

She took a sip before nodding at me. "Yeah, just havin' a break."

"Just a break from singing, right?" I asked, making her quirk a brow. I continued, "Because I'd love to ask you to dance."

A smile grew on her lips, matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I've seen you around, Y/L/N. You probably ask everyone that, don't you?"

I resisted the urge to laugh. "Without sounding big headed, they ask me. So, no, not everyone. Just you. I'd like to dance with you, if you'll have me."

She pursed her lips, eyes flickering between mine considerately and in a way that purposely left me waiting, hoping she'd say yes. Finally, she sighed lightheartedly. "Well, I suppose if you'd like it, who am I to decline?"

My smile widened as I put out my hand and she gladly accepted. The rest of the Covey were playing a song slow enough to have us swaying to the melody, joining the other dancers on the floor.

"You're pretty good at this," Lucy Gray mumbled with amusement, hands wrapped around my shoulders and her head looking over it so I couldn't see her expression.

"Can't be stepping on your toes now, can I?" I said quietly, as to not interrupt the momentary peace that had washed over the Hob. "What sort of impression would that make?"

She snickered. "And why would you be tryin' to make any impression, darlin'? It's just a dance, ain't it?"

A smile crept on my lips. "That it is. But you never know."

She pulled back for a moment, honey-coloured eyes glancing between mine as if trying to decipher my words. I thought I was pretty straightforward, but she clearly didn't agree. Finally, her smile mirrored mine and she leaned her head on my shoulder as we swayed to the song.

It was only a few minutes long, of which, despite my apparent calmness, I was a little nervous to be dancing with such a beautiful girl. I hoped she couldn't feel my heart racing between us. It certainly didn't help when she began to hum lowly, clearly knowing the words to Maude Ivory's ballad, and the deep reverberation of her humming echoed in my ear.

When the song came to an end, everybody parted and applauded the band for their song. Meanwhile, Lucy Gray pulled apart, hands moving from my shoulders and to my hands, squeezing them gently.

"Thanks for the dance," I said to her with a suppressed smile.

"Thanks for askin'," she replied.

My smile was permanently fixed on my face as I watched her walk away, back to the stage for her next number. It wasn't until Y/BF/N appeared out of nowhere, patting me on the back, that I was pulled from my Lucy Gray-induced stupor.

"Someone's crushing," she teased, and I simply ignored her as I glanced back at the brunette onstage.

I was lucky she was giving me a chance at all.

After that initial dance, it became almost tradition to dance with her every time I could, and she always accepted, for some reason giving me the time of day. Visiting the Hob had a new, exciting meaning now, and not just to have some fun fooling around.

Getting to know her more, hearing her talk about her love of performing or something that happened to her that day, meant we were growing closer. Not quite friends, but not anything less either. We'd see each other around school and greet each other, or she'd walk past me in the markets and flash me a smile. Y/BF/N thought I was insane to like her, but I couldn't help it.

A few weeks after that initial dance, she was rambling about some frustrating things before her show, including her shoes not tying quite right, or the step on the stage being a little dodgy and making everyone trip up. One of her complaints was about her red lipstick, which had officially ran out and was her favourite one to wear for performing. Lipstick and makeup in general were rare finds, and she must have searched around a lot to get it, but now she couldn't replace it, not for a while anyway, and it was upsetting her more than she let on.

I couldn't help it, of course. I had to rectify the issue. So, I found a way to trade some meaningless things at the markets in exchange for a red lipstick, one that looked fresh from the Capitol and that I knew Lucy Gray would love. Later that evening, after sneaking out of my house, I headed straight for the garage behind the Hob that the Covey had claimed, where they prepared for their shows.

When I entered, everybody was doing different things, from tuning their instruments to fixing their hair.

"Lucy Gray, Y/N's here!" someone shouted in a teasing voice, and I didn't get chance to see who as Lucy Gray suddenly appeared, stealing my attention.

"Hey, darlin', what're you doing here?" she asked with a bright smile, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Just wanted to wish you luck," I told her, returning her smile. "And of course, bring you a little something."

Her dark brows knitted together above confused eyes, and I took the lipstick from my jacket pocket before holding it out to her.

"You were saying how you felt weird performing without it," I explained as she curiously took it to inspect it, "so I got you another one. Can't have the iconic Lucy Gray without her iconic red lipstick, can we?"

An amazed smile grew on her lips as she looked at the colour, and I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Y/N, this... how did you get this?" she asked with a laugh, meeting my gaze.

I shrugged, and she rolled her eyes before hugging me.

"Thank you so much," she said gratefully, pulling back to grin at me. "I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, just wear it," I said.

She laughed again before going up to the mirror hung on the wall, applying the lipstick as she always did before every show. And when she turned around, I knew I'd made the right choice. As always, she stole my breath away.

"You look beautiful," I told her truthfully. "But you always do."

The pink tingeing her cheeks was contrasted to the deep red of her lips, but she remained confident as she stepped towards me knowingly.

"There's only one way to truly test it," she said, and I didn't get chance to ask what she meant before she pressed a slow but firm kiss on my cheek.

I was dumbstruck, not expecting that at all, and she pulled back with a satisfied smile. Her hand ghosted my cheek, thumb rubbing gently on the inevitable lipstick stain on my face.

"I'll see you out there," she said, dropping her hand but not her smile. "Thanks again, Y/N."

Still reeling at the sensation of her lips on my cheek, I couldn't find the words to reply. She laughed before returning to the Covey, and somehow I found myself walking to the Hob to sit with Y/BF/N. As soon as she spotted the lipstick on my cheek, the laughing and teasing began, but it didn't mean much when Lucy Gray walked out onstage, her matching red-painted lips curved into a grin.

It was easy to fall quicker and harder for Lucy Gray after that, so much in fact that the only thing I wanted to do was kiss her for real.

No matter how much time we spent together, the shameless flirting and banter wasn't enough. I didn't want to be platonic, I wanted more, and I was sure she might have wanted it too.

One evening at the Hob, we were both sat at the bar chatting. Well, she was chatting and I was very much distracted by the sharp curve of her jaw and the curly ringlets of hair that kept spilling into her eyes and the way her mouth moved with each word she spoke and–

"You're not listenin', are you?" she asked lightheartedly, humoured smirk on her lips, matching the quirk of her brow.

That seemed to be the final straw for me, and I couldn't help but lean in, kissing her. Only as I did it did I realise the insanity of my actions, the carelessness, and I pulled away just as quickly. Before I could even scold myself for acting so recklessly, endless apologies on the tip of my tongue, something caught my eye from behind her.

My eyes widened when I recognised the person who had just walked into the Hob. It was my father, the head peacekeeper who hated coming in here because he believed it was a distraction and a bad influence. He was here, and he'd just walked in with some of his peacekeeper friends.

And I was sat in here, a little too close to a girl he also deemed a bad influence. Oh, shit.

"My dad," was all I could get out, before I forgot everything that had happened with Lucy Gray and immediately threw myself over the bar, hiding behind it.

"What are you doin'?!" Lucy Gray leaned over, looking down at me with a puzzled expression.

I couldn't have hunkered down anymore if I tried. "Dad. Doorway. Now!" I whisper-shouted, as if he'd suddenly hear me from all the way across the room.

She must have looked and recognised him as her shadow disappeared and she was no longer trying to talk to me. As I formulated a plan to escape, hoping the full house and loud music would be the perfect distraction, I heard a familiar voice nearing.

"Commander Y/L/N!" Lucy Gray exclaimed loudly, and my heart sank at the possibility of getting caught. "Hi!"

He hesitated, before responding, quite literally just above me. "Lucy Gray, right? The Covey. You performed at Mayfair's birthday a couple of months ago."

I could practically picture the grin on her face as she answered enthusiastically, "The one an' only!"

Sounding a little more laid back than usual, he said, "It was an excellent performance."

"Why, thank you, sir," she replied kindly.

It was quiet between them for a moment, as he ordered a drink with the bartender who thankfully seemed to understand why I was hiding right next to his feet, but he mustn't have left afterwards, as Lucy Gray spoke up.

"Oh, they'll bring your drinks to your table, sir."

"It's fine, I'll wait," he said dismissively, and Lucy Gray merely hummed in response, but I didn't hear her leave.

My heart was racing as I didn't dare move a muscle. My father was stood right next to me, only a bar between us, and I was sure he'd kill me if he knew I was here. Why the hell was he even here?! This was so unlike him!

But no, I couldn't think about that right now. I could only focus on leaving before he discovered my presence.

"So, are you performing here?" my dad asked Lucy Gray in an awkward attempt at filling the silence. He was never good at small talk.

"Uh-huh," she responded just as awkwardly, and I appreciated that, despite my previous mistake with her, she was still willing to keep my secret.

"Nice," was all he said. "I look forward to it. The officers say you're really good."

She didn't reply, must have smiled or nodded or something, because the conversation ended and I was back to hearing the blood rushing in my ears.

After what felt like forever, I heard the bartender serve my dad his drink, and then the latter wished Lucy Gray a good evening before leaving. I didn't dare move, not until I was certain, but Lucy Gray banged the top of the bar to get my attention.

"He's on the other side talking to some officers," she assured me.

"I need to leave out the back," I said, not showing my head just yet. "He'll kill me."

"Okay, just wait," she instructed, and I did just that until I realised she had rounded the bar and was holding her hand out to me. "Come on."

Accepting her hand, I let her keep a look out before she dragged me through the back and out the door, away from my father's prying eyes.

A sigh of relief escaped me as I was in the clear, and Lucy Gray was laughing at my expense.

"That was close," she said between laughter, glancing back as the door closed behind us.

Straightening up, I nodded in agreement. "It was. Thanks for the assist."

She settled on an amused smile before her eyes met mine and her expression softened. "You know, you were in the middle of somethin' back there."

And just like that, the mortifying realisation of kissing her returned to memory, and I was instantly about to apologise.

"Yeah, I–"

She cut me off with a kiss, just as abrupt as mine, but unlike me, she didn't pull away, and I was left to melt into her lips, savouring the warmth of her skin pressed to mine. Her hand cupped my cheek, fingertips pressing down gently, and I sighed into her lips as she began to pull away for air.

"That was... unexpected," I muttered, lips still tingling.

She tried not to laugh. "As unexpected as you kissin' me before?"

I exhaled, slightly embarassed, and she licked her lips before taking my hand and squeezing it gently.

"You should probably head home before your daddy finds you out here," she said, a hint of humour in her voice.

"Home, right," I agreed, before meeting her eyes. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

She grinned. "See you then."

I smiled softly before kissing her hand and leaving. It was safe to say I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, my only thoughts of the curly-haired Covey girl who'd stolen my heart.

#the hunger games imagine #the ballad of songbirds and snakes imagine #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #lucy gray baird imagine #lucy gray x reader #lucy gray baird x reader #lucy gray baird #rachel zegler

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svnaaaaaa · 1 year ago

Text

Paper Rings - Lando Norris Imagine (one shot)

pairing : lando norris x fem reader

summary : based on taylor swift's paper rings.

warning(s) : fluffy, mention of sex

masterlist

author's note : so hi, i now wanting to try writing new things n this being one of them. hope you enjoy it! this is me being excited for this week's grand prix eventhough lando isn't in his best position.

The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

it was that one of the nights where my friend took me out to a club where only elites are allowed to enter. i don't know how but i am enjoying this. as i stood by the bar, attending to my drinks, i could feel stares on me but i didn't know which directions because the club itself is kinda full so yeah, how could i notice it.

then i felt my hand being grabbed and pulled. i look at it and it was my friend who brought me here, fay. "come y/n, i want you to meet my boyfriend!" fay said excitedly as she pulled me away from the bar and into mindless direction that myself could recollect.

then i felt we stopped and i saw a bunch of guys right in front of me. a bunch of hot guys. "hey baby." one of them spoke up and fay let go of my hand to go and hug the guy. "this is y/n, my friend. y/n, this is carlos." fay introduced as carlos held out his hand. "nice to finally meet you, fay has been nonstop talking about me meeting you." carlos said as he chuckled and me included. "same." i replied shortly. then i felt the same stare again.

i looked at my left and saw a curly haired guy with green eyes.

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

as the night goes on, i finally found out the guy's name. it was lando norris, under mclaren, as he used to be a teammate to carlos before carlos moved to ferrari.

lando and i talked for hours and i found him quite charming, yes i enjoyed his company. "so are you coming to the race tomorrow?" lando asked as we sat next to each other, in the corner reserved for the formula 1 drivers.

i nodded my head yes. "i might say hi to you also." i replied to him as i could see his eyes brighten up. his smile, oh his smile is so captivating!

later that night, carlos sent fay and i back to our hotel room as i entered the room, carlos and fay were talking at the front door. me minding my own business, went into the bathroom and take a warm, late night shower to rid off the sweat from the club. not that i want to sleep with ickiness of my skin from going outside.

after i finished showering, fay already on her bed, playing with her phone. "are you sleepy?" fay asked me as i finished dressed up into my shorts and tank top. "yea, aren't you?" i asked while going onto my hotel bed. fay nodded her head slowly. she's terribly sleepy lol. i smiled weakly and turn off the light on my side. "night fay, tomorrow's a big day." i said to her but not hearing any replies. 'must be really sleepy then.' i thought to myself and grabbed my phone from my night stand.

curious about lando himself, i googled his name and there were numerous results from searching his name. 'oh he's british-belgian, didn't notice that on him.' monologues to myself until i bumped into his youtube channel.

let's just say i have 20% knowledge about him from watching his youtube channel videos.

Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

after the race, me and fay separated as i went to the side of the stage where lando did his fan stage alongside with the mclaren's team. 'wow, the crowd really loves him.' i looked at him from the side and smiled warmly. he looked back and saw me, waving shyly as i waved back.

later that day, i followed him back to his hotel room as the sexual tension between us were rising up. as we went out of our clothes, assisting each other, i gotta be honest though, that was my first time being this close to a guy.

yes, i am a virgin. was a virgin.

lando was in shower after we did it. he asked me to shower together but i declined as i want to attend to my sore. being a virgin who never had an intercourse did take a toll on me. i looked at lando's night stand and saw books on his night stand. i took it and look at the book cover.

lando went out of the bathroom and saw me with the book in my hands. i looked up at him and he smiled sweetly at me. "you wanna read the book together with me?"

later that night, we went into bed really late due to wanting to finished the book together but ended up snoozing with me wrapped in lando's arms and me holding the book to my chest.

The wine is cold

Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

days turn to weeks. weeks turn to months. months turn to years. it has been three years since lando and i first met. we started to lived into an apartment together in monaco because of formula 1. i don't mind about being a fulltime wag if i can be with lando all the time, giving the supports that he needs. aside being a fulltime wag, i am also a part time tutor where i teach english to children here in monaco.

lately, lando and i have been distancing ourselves due to my schedule of being a tutor and him busy training for the next grand prix. we barely spend time together and rarely have time to sit and chat during dinner like we used to. until one day, i felt his side of the bed being cold as to he didn't went into bed last night, the previous night and also the night before.

the tension between us started to get cold like how the water in the shower room felt like and soon all i know was i want to give lando a silent treatment until he burst his bubble first.

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

me and lando has been off with each other for completely three months and three months since i left monte carlo to come back to london because of my mom fell into sickness.

before left woking, i just sent him a message and never received any replies for couples of days until a week later, i received numerous phone calls from lando. but i never answered to any of them until one day i purposely left my phone at my mom's home and just went to the hospital like my usual routine of taking care of my mom.

it has been like that for three months and i just let it be and thinking that me and lando weren't meant to be because instead of calling, would it hurt him to sacrifice a practice to come and find me here in london? but no, it was all a wishful thinking.

mom started to get a bit better and allowed to go home but still need medical assistance. as i parked my car in front of my mom's house, i saw someone familiar at the front door. "sweetie, isn't that lando?" mom asked me as i glared at his direction. "let's just ignore him mom." i told her and turned off the engine. lando saw my car and he stood up from the front door pavement. i got out of my car and went to mom's side to assist her to go inside the house, ignoring lando as if he isn't there. as we approaching the front door, lando smiled weakly at my mom as i just looked down, not wanting to see him after three months away. "hello mrs l/n, good to see you this well." lando said. i looked for keys in my bag as i heard my mom replied chatting with lando.

got the key and i immediately unlock the front door. "come on in lando." mom asked him to enter the house as i rolled my eyes but not to my mom. lando was the last one to enter the house while my mom take a seat of the sofa of the living room and i went back to the car to grab things from the hospital that i brought to mom when she first admitted to the hospital. "let me help you." i heard lando's voice behind me. as i gruntly say, "no need to, just need to you to go away from me." lando sighed at my reply.

"look, i am sorry for everything. i miss you, i miss us." lando said as i sighed and slammed shut the car door. i looked at him in the eye. he did the same. "i love you y/n. i want to stay with you forever." lando said as he shyly held out his hand to grabbed mine. with me not reacting, he wrapped his hand in mine and i just look at our clasped hands.

"i miss us too lan, but promise me to never do this again."

"cross my heart and hope to die."

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

now back at monaco, lando hired a caregiver for my mom and by far, the caregiver has given me an approval to leave mom entrusted into her hands. at first i was a bit hesitate to leave because my mom is the only person i have left but with lando convincing that my mom would be fine with this caregiver, i was ready to go back to monaco.

"y/n!" i heard lily's voice as i turned back and saw lily approaching me with open arms. it was bahrain gp so i get to see other wags to hang out with aside from fay. "lily! i missed you so much!" i said while giving her a hug. "me too, how's your mom by the way?" "she's fine, i'm glad she's getting better day by day." i explained to lily as we saw numerous of fan waving towards us. lily and i waved and smiled to them as we continue on with our conversation.

after the race, lando and i hang out in the resting room while lando taking a rest before move back to our hotel room. he was resting on a sofa in a sitting up position but leaning on me as i just watching him sleep.

he looks so angelic and i can't believe he's mine.

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night

(Oh) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright

Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life

(One, two, one, two, three, four)

it is finally a day off for lando and we are back in monaco. lando told me that he just want to stay in the apartment quietly, enjoying each other's company. i smiled to the idea but unfortunately, i have a night class at the tutor center so i left home at 4pm and will be home by 10.

"miss l/n, aren't you lando norris' girlfriend?" one of my students, lisa i believe asked me after we finished the class later that night. i looked up to her and smile sweetly while my hands were busying tidy up the mess on my table. "why yes i am." i replied as i could see a bright shining light in her eyes. "could you ask for a sign from oscar? i am a huge fan of him!" lisa exclaimed as she giggled at me, causing me to laughed a bit from her antics. "i'll try but i can't promise you on that though." "it's fine, i won't blame you for it."

park my car at my designated spot at the apartment complex, i could feel my back ache as i stretched up right after i got out from my car. 'what was lando up to, i hope he doesn't sleep all day.' i thought to myself as i got all my stuffs from my car and headed to my home sweet home with my sweet boy.

as i unlock the front door, i saw the house seemed clean. then i entered the house and saw lando leaning at the dining table, looking forward for me to be impressed by him. to be honest, i am impressed but i won't let him know that. "you like it?" lando asked ad he went towards me and hugged me tightly while leaning to kiss the top of my head. i wrapped my arms around him after dropping my stuffs at the front door as i inhaled his scent on his t-shirt. "i love it babe." i mumbled into his chest covered t-shirt. then i looked up at him and he leaned into my lips and peck it. i smiled into the small peck and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a long kiss.

"i love you lando norris."

"i love you too future mrs. norris."

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

lando and i were walking around the mall, looking for birthday presents for lando's mom, cisca's birthday.

we were walking hand in hand until i felt lando letting go of my hand and i turned back around to see what makes him stop. he stood in front of a jewelry store, a high-end ones, tiffany and co.

i looked up at lando and he was looking at me, grinning on that boyish face of him. before i could protest, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind his back. "lando, what are you doing?" i asked in whispering, not wanting to cause chaos. lando who didn't reply to my question, just approaching to the display table full of jewelries from rings to bracelets to necklaces. i was mesmerized by the glittering of each accessories, not realizing that lando was staring at me the whole time until i heard him saying, "you like it?" lando asked smiling as the store assistant was looking at me and lando. probably judging on how we dressed to be in this luxury store, with both of us dressed in hoodies and sweatpants.

"lando," i started as i looked at him in his eyes. "i like it but what for?" i asked him as he turned his head and looked at the display of rings, ignoring me. "can i see that one?" lando asked pointing at the specific diamond ring with a three diamond stones design on it. as the assistant gave lando the ring, he held it out to me, asking me to try it on. not wanting to embarrassed him in front of the store assistant, i took the ring and slipped onto my ring finger. it fits perfectly. i admired it, wishing it could be mine but even my salary couldn't afford to buy this.

i pulled it out and gave it back to the store assistant. i looked back at lando and he keep on smiling at my way. "you like it?" lando asked, i shyly nodded my head yes as i grabbed his hand this time and pulled him out of the store. "never do that again please, you almost give me a heart attack!" i said to him as he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "just doing a little survey, there' nothing harm right?" he's right.

"but still, if you planned on purposing, i would have accept you even if you give me a paper ring." i said then kissed his lips.

"or a ring pop."

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

2022 miami grand prix was the devastating race for both me and lando. it scared me the most because i am not a person who's into violance or action movies or whatever it is related to crashing things up.

and seeing lando being into an accident during race really trigger me up. one of the tires were come off from the car and there were sparks of fire, luckily it didn't ignited a fire. his car were placed at the site of the circuit as yellow flags were waved, i just stood in the waiting room, hoping that he is fine.

"lando norris is out of the race." commentator announced and i was sad.

after that, lando came into the waiting room and saw me in the room. i opened up my arms and allow him come into my arms as he wrapped his arms around my waist. i pat his back and whisper sweet nothings into his ears.

"i am happy that you're okay and you're still the one i want nevertheless."

In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

Oh, you're the one I want

it was racing time in barcelona. on his 10th lap, one of the strategists called out for me to come to where the control station goes on. "here, lando have something to say to you." he said as he held out his headset for me to take. i was dumbfounded by the statement, why would lando have something to say when he's in the race track at the moment? i don't understand. i took the headset and wear it until i heard lando's voice through the headset.

"hello? y/n? you there yet?" lando asked. "yea lando, what is it? you're in the middle of the race." i told him. i heard him chuckled as the racing still goes on. then i heard him breathe out. "y/n l/n, will you marry me?" lando asked. did he just proposed to me? in the middle of the race? where everyone literally can hear it? seriously?!

the situation felt in silent. "lando," i started.

"yes, i will marry you." i answered as i could cheer from both lando and the team. i suppose i could hear cheering from the crowd as well but maybe because of the race and not the proposal that lando just made. nevertheless, lando norris just proposed to me. isn't that insane?!

as the race finished and lando placed in 10th place. i ran towards him where he readily spread out his arms for me. i jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck, tightly enough to realize that this isn't a dream, it's a reality.

who would have know that this situation will be framed up to be my favourite grand prix race ever.

xoxo future mrs norris, spain 2022

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool

When you jumped in first, I went in too

I'm with you even if it makes me blue

after the abu dhabi grand prix, it was winter break. lando and i decided to go back home in england. both lando and i agree to celebrate our engagement right after the last grand prix of the year which was the abu dhabi one.

we went straight to lando's family home in bristol. ever since the first time i went there, bristol itself have a spot in my heart, it was lovely weather especially during winter time. as we arrived the house, we saw both norris couple waiting for us outside as we got out of our car. lando went straight to his parents' arms, hugging them tightly, knowing how have they been longing to meet their beloved, precious son again.

then they invited us inside the house.

"so what theme are you thinking of for the engagement party?" lando's mom asked as we were all relaxing at the lounging room of the house. "definately neon colours!" lando exclaimed as i pat lando's chest, signalling my opposition of the colour choice. "i'm thinking of warm colours, maybe autumn colours." i voiced out and lando's mom agreed to it. lando? he was making that weird face like how when he heard the question between seafood or steak choice.

for the party, we just decided to do at the backyard of the norris' house because it was quite spacious and i believe that it will fit both sides families and friends. both lando and i agreed to just do simple party because this is just an engagement not the wedding yet. it turns out very pretty i must say. less is more, right?

there were guests from lando's families and my families and also friends from formula 1, close friends and also some close by neighbours. the party was great because there were games such as find things from guest checklist, jenga games that have questions on it basically about the upcoming bride and groom, the racing carry partner game and lastly drinking game of course. what's a party without drinking right?

at the end of the party, i'm glad that everyone's enjoying it because i was having jitters the night before that lando had to calm me down and said 'everything's going to be fine' while pulling me on top of him and my head was placed on top of his naked chest, hearing his rhythmic heartbeat.

i felt someone grabbing my hand and pulling me. i looked up and it was lando himself, grinning towards me and then i looked in front and it was an outdoor pool. i tried to pulled off from him but he was gripping strong and it was hard for me to do so, endes up he went in first followed by me. luckily the water wasn't too freezing like in mid december but still, it was shivering cold and i swore my lips almost turning blue. i glared at lando and he gave me that boyish smile that he knew i melted for.

he's going to be the death of me.

Which takes me back

To the color that we painted your brother's wall

after christmas, lando's brother, oliver is getting married. so we were offered to redecorate his room. yippie (read : sarcasm). he told us to paint the room blue, like pastel blue with hint of ocean blue. quite interesting i must say.

as we painted the room, it was getting boring. then i felt something wet on my cheek. i turned to my right and saw lando giggling like a child. i turned towards his way and with paint brush still i hold onto it, i charged to lando and tried to paint him. but of course, the perks of a sportsman, he was quick at running and running away is one of it.

sigh.

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

'formula 1 race driver lando norris and long term girlfriend are officially engaged!'

the headlines read today, but it has been a month since we had our engagement party and apparently, someone has been leaking it and i don't want to point my finger at. nevertheless, i am scared for letting people know of my sort of private life. i know and realize that when you are getting yourself involve with someone who is famous, your private lives doesn't even matter to them. that was what i was told before by fay herself.

lately, lando has been weird and quite reserved, especially with his phone. i am a person who never snoop into someone's phone and i don't even care what you are going to do with your phone, cause it's yours and you know what you are doing with your phone so yea.

as lando went into bathroom to take a shower after practice for an upcoming grand prix, his phone lighten up and it was an incoming message. i walked over to his nightstand and took his phone. there was a message from one of his exes. i could feel a knife stabbed from my back by the time i saw the name of the sender. i put back down the phone and walked out of the room. grabbing my car keys from the hook next to the front door, and i immediately went into my car right after i walked out of the front door.

started my car engine and i drove off the apartment complex to somewhere that i didn't know where i want to go at this moment. 'how could he?' was what played in my mind. 'if he cannot move on from his ex, then why me? why he picked me to play of?' i sobbed to the thoughts. then i heard my phone rang. i didn't look who called but i think i knew who it was. i just ignore and keep driving. i want to go somewhere that can bring me peace.

as i arrived at a nearby cliff, i just sat outside of the car and inhaling the smell of salty breeze. it always brings me calm no matter what.

"y/n?" i heard lando's voice. i turned around and there he was, cheating bastard lando norris. i got up from where i sat and quickly rushed to my car. being athlete he is, lando was more faster. he grabbed the car door as i was and i halted my movement. "i can explain. please, let me explain first." lando said to me, not replying anything i heard lando sighed. "listen, i have no valid reason to defend myself but all i know is that i didn't even replying to any of her messages." lando explained and i just scoffed at him. "if you didn't reply to any of it then why were you being so .. on guard with your phone? you weren't like this before." i asked but lando just smile sadly. "well, i was going to surprise you on our wedding day but, here." lando said as he opened up his phone and showed me his screen, there was a sketch of a ring. he was designing my wedding ring!

"i was so sorry for not giving any engagement ring for you despite everything i have but i do have something in mind to make it more special when i give you your wedding ring later on." lando explained and i suddenly get teary eyes. lando didn't give me an engagement ring because i said so. i don't want something to make things official, just him proposing is enough. i didn't know that lando would make something this special and memorable. i hugged him tightly, where he wrapped his arms around my waist. "you're my one and only from the moment i saw you for the first time, why would you think otherwise sweetheart?" lando whispered into my ear and kissed it, making me hugging him even tighter. "maybe i was insecure, i am not pretty as her. i am no model." i replied and i heard him chuckled. "you're y/n, and you're mine. does it validate to you?" i nodded my head yes and later on, we went back home separately because yea. we came here separated.

I want to drive away with you

it was the day of our honeymoon. yes we got married yesterday. the wedding itself was so eventful eventhough we just invited close family and friends only.

right now, we're in positano. let me tell you, everything about amalfi coast are so beautiful! and positano has caught my eye ever since the moment me and lando were discussing about our honeymoon right after we finalized the wedding details with our wedding planner.

lando has entrusted me with his life by renting us a scooter. if you don't know, lando once got himself involved with motorbike before but after an accident, he hasn't been good with motorbike but still interested in moto gp. "are you sure sweetheart?" i asked for confirmation as the man of the rental shop handed me the keys. lando just smiled sweetly at me and nodded his head yes. "i trust you love." that was all lando said and off we gooo!!

we were cruising around the roads, enjoying the view of the sea nearby the coast. i feel lando wrapping his arms around my waist as he placed his head on my shoulder while i leaned my head on his head. "you okay back there lan?" i asked and i felt his head nod yes. "i am happy to be with you." lando replied and i smiled at his response.

he is such a cheeseball!

I want your complications too

for the first time in his formula 1 career, lando finished in p17. not his best record to start the season. i sat in his driver's room right after the race and there entered lando with his head hung low. i stood up and hugged him tightly, tucking his head in the crook of my neck.

"it will be fine lan, i believe in you." i said to him as we swayed left to right and vice versa, comforting him.

I want your dreary Mondays

monday has come by and you know what it means, monday blues. the job at the school was hard enough. with some students who are really sick still attending to school which caused other students were sick as well. as i entered the house by unlocking the door i sighed heavily remembering what an awful day i had. i didn't see lando at the living or in thr kitchen, he must be either sleeping or leaving the house for practices.

i entered our bedroom and yet, still no sight of lando. guess he's at practices then. which is good because i just want to soak myself into our bathtub and use the bathbomb that was gifted by our wedding guests.

as the bathtub was filled with water according to the level that i preferred, i dropped the bathbomb and let it infuse in the water as i undressed myself naked and placed the towel at the towel hanger. i swirl the water in the bathtub with my hand and then i entered the bathtub, sighed with ease because i have been having back aches and having a bath with warm water feels good. i closed my eyes to enjoy the water but then, i heard the front door being open and close, followed by lando's voice calling for me. "in here bubs!" i shouted back, fear that he didn't hear me.

then the bathroom door opened and reveals lando. "hey there you." lando said as he entered the bathroom and kneeled beside me. "hey." i replied back as he leaned to my face and gave a small peck. i smiled at the gesture. i saw that lando's eyes were getting droopy as that being a sign he's getting sleepy. "rough day?" i asked as he was nodding slowly. i chuckled as i went out of the bathtub. "let me get dressed up first yeah?" i questioned him as he nodded his head again and went out of the bathroom.

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

right after i finished dressing up, i felt lando's arm wrapped around my waist as he pulling me onto our bed. giggled, i felt happy the most when he's being all affectionate and cuddly. lando nuzzled his face into my neck as i felt he was inhaling my scent from my bath, followed by flutter kisses.

"lando norris, i love you."

"i love you too mrs. norris."

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fluff #formula one #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 fic #lando norris x you #lando norris f1

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venerawrites · 8 months ago

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LMAOAOAIDJSKDKDKK

I have this funny idea

HOW WOULD GAARA REACT TO HIS S/O AFTER THEY SAID THAT HIS FATHER IS KINDA...

LAJDIDJDJ

I can see him dumbfounded like

😦😦😦

author's note: Well, tbf his dad is kinda... 👀👀

You were waiting for Gaara to finish the final few papers, killing your time by rearranging random stuff in his office.

And then you saw it...

Sitting on the bottom shelf of his library, a picture of the sand siblings, all of them staring at the camera with serious expressions.

Behind them, tall and proud, was their father - the late Kazekage.

Since you were born and raised in the Leaf and you moved to Suna long after Gaara became the leader of the village, you have never seen how their father looked like before.

It shocked you how much they looked alike, considering the fact that the red-headed shinobi has mentioned before that "he is nothing like his father".

You couldn't help but let out an obnoxious wolf-whistle.

Gaara immediately lifted his head, looking at you with confusion. Before he can ask what's wrong, you said:

"Wow! You never told me your dad is kinda..."

You didn't finish your sentence, instead looking at him and wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

GAARA'S JAW FELL OPEN 😦

He stared at you with wide eyes and open mouth for a whole minute, to the point your own smile fell and concern washed over your face.

"Gaara, are you-?"

Before you can finish, he starts stuttering:

"What do you mean?"

"What's th - .. What do you MEAN?"

"WHaT do YOU MeAN?" (ksks, just imagine that Jennifer Lawrence's reaction... lol, yes, that's how perplexed he was)

He kept asking the same questions, each time with more worry and confusion.

If the way his eyes were bulging out of his head was not scaring you, you would probably found his reaction extremely funny.

It took at least 15 minutes for you to explain that you were just joking and the only reason why you said it, was because of how similar they looked.

"What did you mean though? He is kinda what?"

YOU BETTER NOT ANSWER THAT!!

He can be a little bit emotionally immature, but he is not stupid, so he knew EXACTLY what you meant.

Would hold it as a grudge against you for WEEKS.

Every time you give him a compliment, he would give you a sarcastic response.

"Gaara, your hair looks nice today."

"'Kinda my father' type of nice or just nice?"

His little jealousy is funny and kinda cute, but don't tell him that.

Instead focus on showering him with kisses and affection, just to reaffirm that he is indeed your favourite Kazekage. ;)

cc artwork: Herve Groussin

#gaara x reader #gaara imagine #sabaku no gaara #gaara headcanons #gaara of the sand #naruto headcanons

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captainsophiestark · 1 month ago

Text

Jurisdiction

Jack Thompson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober, and for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Requested by Anon!

Fandom: Marvel

Day Seventeen Prompt: "Strangest thing I ever heard."

Summary: Jack's meeting one of his SO's oldest friends, who just so happens to work for the FBI. Unfortunately for all of them, sometimes the job has to take priority.

Word Count: 1,115

Category: Fluff

A/N: Okay, officially *this* is the closest I've come to missing a Friday lol

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"You're never gonna believe the case I just solved."

I grinned, humoring my long-time friend as he leaned across the table and closer to me.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So we were trying to track down this group-"

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

My friend, Robert, and I both turned at the sound of someone behind us. I smiled immediately. Chief Jack Thompson of the New York SSR had finally arrived.

Jack and I had worked together for a long time, and now we'd been dating for the better part of a year. We'd been trying to set up times for meeting each other's important friends and family, but it had been incredibly complicated trying to work around our schedules at the SSR, especially since we weren't really supposed to tell anybody about our jobs.

Robert was one of the last people in my circle that Jack hadn't met. We'd grown up together, and while I'd found my way to the SSR, Robert had built up a career with the FBI. He had no idea what I did for a living, but I knew plenty about what he did.

"Glad you could make it," I said, fixing Jack with a smile as he took a seat on the other side of me. He planted a kiss on my temple, then reached out and offered a handshake to Robert.

"Jack Thompson. Nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise," said Robert, taking his hand with a grin. "You're just in time to hear about the case my boys and I just finished up. It was a doozy."

"Yeah, I heard you were with the FBI. That's real impressive," said Jack, his voice dripping with sarcasm that only I caught. I gave him a subtle elbow to the side, but he ignored me.

"Thank you," said Robert, nodding solemnly. "Like I was saying, we were trying to track down this group we thought was smuggling weapons into the country through a port in Maine. And we found the guys we were looking for, found their operation just like we'd been expecting. But they weren't smuggling weapons."

Jack and I both raised an eyebrow, leaning forward as Robert did. He lowered his voice for dramatic effect.

"They were smuggling technology."

I raised an eyebrow, and beside me, Jack leaned even further forward.

"It was all kinds of crazy stuff," Robert continued. "I can't tell you guys most of it, since neither of you has clearance, but... it's the kind of thing that would knock your socks off. I'm talking minature engines that can just hover about a foot in the air, some crazy glowing stuff that none of us have been able to identify yet... and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Wow," I said, playing it up a little bit out of politeness. Robert grinned and nodded.

"I know, right? I mean, can you even believe it?"

"Strangest thing I ever heard," Jack agreed, sounding anything but floored. At the SSR, we saw stranger things than that almost every week. "You said stuff that glows? What kind of stuff? What kind of glow?"

"I really shouldn't be telling you guys this, but so far, it seems like some kind of chemical mix just sitting in a little ball, waiting for who knows what to activate. It's been a few days since we caught all this stuff, and the glow hasn't gone down even a little bit."

Jack hummed next to me, leaning even farther forward and dropping his arm from around my shoulders. I could tell he wanted to drill down on exactly what Robert had found, and I didn't blame him. But before he got the chance to ask followup questions, the waiter came over to take our orders.

By the time we'd put in our requests, Robert was apparently ready to move on from his work stories. Jack fidgeted next to me, but still, he let it go. The three of us talked about life, told (non-work) stories, and laughed over lunch and drinks. By the time things were winding down, Robert had a massive smile on his face, and he shook Jack's hand again as we got up to leave.

"It was a real pleasure meeting you, Jack. I'm glad to know my friend found someone so wonderful to spend time with."

"It was great meeting you, too," Jack said. I noticed his smile was a little more forced, but Robert apparently didn't clock it as he turned to give me a hug.

"Good to see you. I know we're both pretty busy, but let's not go this long without seeing each other again, okay?"

"I completely agree."

We shared a smile, then Robert gave Jack and I one last little wave before hustling off down the street. I turned back to Jack with a sigh and a smile.

"Well, that was fun! And I think Robert really likes you."

"Yeah, but I don't know for how much longer." Jack ran a hand through his hair, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you think Robert would feel if I claimed jurisdiction on his case?"

I gasped, and then grimaced. What Jack was saying made perfect sense—everything Robert had told us sounded right up the alley of the things we dealt with for work.

"Now I know what that face you kept pulling was about," I said. Jack scoffed, and I put my hands on my hips. "I don't think Robert would take it very well, honestly. But... we did say we wanted to see each other more often. And taking over his case would certainly accomplish that."

That got Jack to fully laugh. He put an arm around my shoulders, and the two of us started the stroll back to our office.

"So does that mean you're on board with me talking to the FBI about the SSR getting jurisdiction over all that stuff they found?"

"I mean, yeah. Robert and I will work it out, and it'll be nice to have a reason to tell him what I really do for work. Besides, he's great, but... even in the few minutes we were chatting, it was pretty clear the FBI aren't equipped to handle this."

"No, they're not. Glad we can agree."

"Who knows, maybe this'll even work out in our favor? Robert will see us working so well as a team solving his case that he'll be even happier than when we finished lunch."

Jack laughed again, and after a moment, I couldn't help joining him. Robert was in for quite a shock the next time he saw Jack and I. I might actually have to recruit Peggy or Daniel to take a picture for posterity.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

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thecapricunt1616 · 8 months ago

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The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 17

♡ Chapter Inspo: Too Sweet - Hozier ; "You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape."

♡ Summary: Winnie & Carmy attend one of their first full family functions as a couple, & Carm is anxious as shit that Donna will pop up.

♡ W/C: 10,217

♡ Posted Date: 04/16/2024

♡ A/N: WOW It has been a second since TB&HH got some love but we are so back!! I am actually really excited about this chapter! It is very long as you see, and It took a few times of scrapping & rewriting, and then I finally just said fuck it and did what I wanted to do LOL. I have been writing so much SydCarmy i've been achingg for some loveydovey Winnie & Carmy so here I am! As per usual requests are open for SydCarmy, CarmyxReader - anything really!

♡ Warnings for BTC: SmutSmutSmut (breeding kinks mentioned, car sex) - Swearing, Fluffy mush, Smoking cigarettes, talks of alcoholism, drinking

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

Carmen and I had made it official 3 months ago now, and we were just as happytogether and obsessed with each other as the day we’d met. Today was the day that Natalie’s younger daughter, Briana or Bee as the family lovingly calls her would be getting Christened since she was officially a year old last week.

When I returned last month from nannying in The Hamptons, Carmen had taken an entire week off permitted by Sydney being back in perfect health - and we fucked and ate and did whatever we wanted for the entire week before I had to get back to work. It was fair to say we had missed each other terribly and he’d told me I ‘wasn’t allowed to abandon him like that ever again’ even if it meant he had to pay all of my bills.

I huffed frustratedly, my fingers beginning to cramp up from trying so many times to clasp on my simplistic gold St. Christopher medallion with my long french tips that Carmen had been insisting on paying for every 2 weeks.

“Bear! I need help!” I called out to him where he was in the bathroom ‘borrowing’ my gel to relax his frizzy curls that he had no time to blowdry this morning.

“what‘sup honey?” He asked as soon as I called, coming out to the bedroom where I was stood in front of my full-length mirror struggling to clasp my jewlery.

This is how he’d been for the past 2 months or so, I call, and he answers nearly faster then I can finish my request.

It didn’t matter what he was doing, not if we were in the kitchen (he did get a bit huffy if it was extra busy, but never mean, never ever mean.) But if we were at home? It was almost scary how fast he came to my call. I had even filmed a TikTok- jokingly saying-

“My man will blindly do whatever I ask of him- watch- it’s weird as fuck- but it’s super cute. He will literally toss out whatever he’s doing and do what I say. I think he’s over in the living room drawing right now- but watch…he’s gonna shove all his colored pencils n’ shit right in his case and barrel over here like a puppy. Watch this. -” I stepped into the hallway and flipped the camera “ oh - and he’s gonna say ‘I’m sorry’ cause he wasn’t here the second I asked him.” I whispered before calling- “ LLLLOVER?! What’re y’doin’s? Mon Ours?!” (My Bear?) down the hallway. ‘Huuuh???’ he called back ‘WHAT’RE Y’DOING LOVE?’ I called louder. I heard wooden pencils tinkling together and muttered curses for a few moments before he appeared at the end of the hall, coming up to me “Wha?” he asked, “M’sorry honey- I couldn’t hear over the TV-“ “What are you doing?” I asked “Uhhh…drawing? Why?” He asked “need something?” “No” I shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “Can you put it away?” I asked. “Oh- sure gimme’ sec” he walked off to the living room for a few moments and I flipped the camera back to me, “See he just does what I ask him to do what is this?! He just listens he’s the best listener-“ I whispered being interrupted by him asking “Hey Honey? D’you mean like away away?” He called “No just put up. come here” I called and he comes back to me, kissing my head “Are Y’Hungry? D’ya need y’r water filled? What day is it again? I didn’t forget plans did I?” he checked his phone and I rolled my eyes playfully “I just wanted kisses” I puckered my lips He gratefully partook, kissing my lips before pecking all over my face. “Did you get your period and are just needy for love and kisses or Is this a test?” I hit end on the recording, embarrassed by his stupidly good intuition.

It had gotten nearly 4 million views, and he was baffled as to why - when I explained the likely reason to him, he could barely understand that a lot of boyfriends didn’t give a shit about their girlfriends needs- at least to the level he does, so the way girls were thirsting after him in my comment section was new to him, and slightly overwhelming for me because it had been weeks and likes and comments were still pouring in, and there were lots of people that knew who he was. I had gotten at least 100 comments reading ‘is that like- THE Carmen Berzatto? Just…chilling in your house?!’

It was also kind of annoying because people kept asking to see him now since they either thought he was hot or they wanted him to talk about cooking, but I’d never ask him to. He isn’t my show pony, I know he’s hot and talented and smart and amazing and my absolute everything - and I’d love nothing more than to share all of that with the people who we’re asking, but I knew for a fact he didn’t like being on camera and wouldn’t be comfortable knowing 300 thousand people were gonna be seeing it- and possibly many, many more.

He thought it was sweet and funny that after when I told him I pranked him or more specifically, giggly telling him ‘you got-got bear, I got you so good’ that me ‘pranking’ him was asking him to put away his colored pencils and kiss me for the sake of it - when in culinary school his ‘friends’ idea of a prank was to dull out all of his knives so he’d have to spend nearly the whole day resharpening them and failing an assignment because of it.

“Oh, that? Here honey gimme” he takes the ends of the dainty chain from my fingers, standing behind me and clasping it easily before adjusting the charm gently to the middle before and kissing the top of my head. “Y’nails’re too long f’that Angel” he muttered, looking at the necklace in the mirror and rubbing over my lower stomach lovingly.

He did that move a lot ever since he started getting more comfortable when we made things official. Especially when he knew I was ovulating during sex. It drove me absolutely insane - he loved to do it while saying something along the lines of;

‘Y’want me t’fuck y’full pretty girl? Yeah? You wanna show everyone y’mine honey? Who you belong to princess? Are y’gonna have my babies? Mmm? Say it— Y’love it when I fuck y’like this, like a fuckin’ cat in heat. Ye’- is that it? Are you a filthy little fuckin animal? My pretty little pet?’

While he fucked me absolutely brainless. Before I went to my nanny gig, one day he peered over my shoulder while I was reading one of my fantasy books and saw the words mating press - he was immediately interested and very shyly asked what it was, before asking me to help show him what he needed to do to help me achieve that very position.

Surprisingly- after I had explained what the position was for in the books- it was the first time he didn’t quite literally leave or get overly anxious about the thought of us having children - even if it was just purely dirty talk. He just once again made sure that I was on birth control, and from there it became one of our very favorite positions.

I’d never fucked a man before that made me promise to have his babies someday before cumming in me as deep as he could and rubbing over my extremely vacant womb due to being so pussy-drunk. All while whispering how pretty I’d be swollen with his seed- worshiping me like I’d already been carrying the child- muttering about how hot it would be if I were to be all big-bellied carrying his baby. Maybe it was his kink? Surely it was just a kink and it was the moment talking not his actual desires.

It must be- because he’d been so adamant just a few months ago that he was ‘absolutely sure’ he didn’t want children so badly we nearly got into an argument over it when I asked him to just think about it outside of the realm of me. So he likely was simply turned on by the thought of a ‘nuclear domestic life’ just like any other person is.

“Thank you, you look so nice, Bear. I can’t wait until it’s over though cause I wanna touch your hair. Can’t though cause it has all the stuff in it” I said, turning around and gently pushing back the stray sticky curl that had fallen out of place and was laying on his forehead adorably.

“Mm Church isn’t my favorite pastime cause I have to have all the bullshit on. but you look…” he takes me in slowly, his hand sliding down over the curve of my waist. “Fuckin perfect. Can’t believe y’mine baby” he leans in for a kiss “wait- this stuff, can I kiss you?” He alludes to my lipstick which was likely about the same shade of red as my cheeks now due to his compliments.

“Find out” I said and pulled him by his jacket, kissing him deeply. He hummed, squeezing my bum and pulling my hips into his, squeezing them gently.

He was always extra careful to ask when I had makeup on and was getting ready to go out, that he could kiss me without messing anything up. He would sit and watch me do my makeup when going out for girls nights, so was very understanding and appreciative of the effort and time that went into it. He would help me pick out eyeshadow colors sometimes, but his favorite part was when I did lipstick. He tells me it ‘changes everything’ which makes me giggle, because that’s exactly what my grandma says.

I pull away after a few moments, “how’s the makeup?” I tease, checking in the mirror. “Lady Gaga knows what she’s doing babe” I gently dab below my lip with my beauty blender where he had gotten some of my foundation by mistake in the heated lip to lip transaction.

“The same one that did the poker face song?” He asked and I laugh a bit

“If that’s all you know her by then we still have a lot to learn about pop culture. But yes, the Gaga baby” I fixed up my lipliner a bit and he watched me in the mirror as I meticulously did so.

“Mm I remember that and the weird meat dress. Fuck you look amazing baby here lemme see” he turns me around when I put the pencil down, gently brushing my fringe from my eyes. “You are so beautiful baby, fuckin’ breathtaking” he kissed my forehead gently.

I smiled, holding his hands in mine and squeezing gently “you look very handsome baby, so handsome” I adjusted his tie and kissed his jaw gently. My alarm went off for 6:45 signaling it was time for us to leave, the sound causing me to jump a bit before I giggle shyly “Sorry. We’d better go” I grabbed my purse, making sure I had everything i’d need for the day.

“Y’still wanna get coffee honey?” He asked as he put his dress shoes on.

I nod “yeah- if I can get these stupid shoes on with this dress in time” I sat down on the bed slipping my foot in and trying to buckle the stupid tiny buckle with my nails, they were super pretty and Carm loved the scratches he got with them, but in terms of tiny things I always found myself struggling.

“Here-“ he knelt in front of me “Hold this Honey” he hands me the hem of my dress and I pulled it up for him. He carefully adjusted the straps so they were straight, before buckling it “that good? Y’want ‘em tighter?” He asks and I shook my head

“No- no. Thank you it’s perfect baby” I offer my other foot to him and he repeated the process. “You’re the best, Carmy, really. Sorry I keep needing your help when I go out” I said, kissing his cheek gently before he got up.

“Can’t blame yourself baby those things are… ridiculous. I dunno how they’re comfortable” he outstretched his hand to help me up.

I took it and kiss his lips lovingly once he pulled me up. “They aren’t. They just look pretty” I grab my purse once more, spraying on my perfume. “Now we’re ready” I said with a smile.

We got to the church with 5 minutes to spare before the service started, so we were able to find the back row where Richie, Eva, some random blonde that I’d assumed must be Eva’s mom, Syd, Fak, Natalie, and Pete, both of them with a kid in their lap were sitting.

Sugar spotted us first “Oh! Yay! You made it sweetheart how are you? You look so beautiful” she smiled

“Oh my gosh no way you all look so cute I love her little dress ohhh my gosh Carmy look at her!” I said happily

“Yeah - Hey, Uh- Moms not-“ Carmy asked her quietly.

“Bear - “ she almost laughed “She isn’t around until she can prove to me she's sober again” she said before turning to Fak who was sat next to her. “Honey, move down please! Look at all that row sweetheart” she nudged him with her elbow.

“Hi Winnie the Pooh” Fak said, sliding down enough for Carm and I to squeeze in next to sugar.

“Hey Neil! Hope you’re well it’s nice to see you.” I sit down next to Carmy, crossing my legs.

“So is she your girlfriend yet?” He asked Carmy, nudging his shoulder gently.

Carmy sighed deeply. “Yes, yes Fak. She’s my girlfriend. And we’re at church buddy. So it’s quiet time yeah?” He asked and I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle how he took after Sugars tone with him.

“Thanks Winnie nice to see You too- Your dress is pretty” he told me and I smiled

“Aww! Thanks bestie. Love the suit you look snappy” I said and held Carmys hand, kissing it gently.

“It’s great t’see you guys!” Syd waves and I lean forward to see her better - But Carmy didn’t even say anything.

I look at him, seeing he was totally not here. “babe” I ask and he breaks his spaced out gaze on the large stained glass window up front and looked at me.

“Mm?” He looks over at me. I rubbed his hand gently.

“Everything okay sweets?” I asked softly and he nodded a bit.

“Talk ‘bout it later” he said and squeezed my hand gently.

“Okay…” I said and hooked our arms together before relacing our fingers.

I watched as he went back to staring at the same stained glass window, and resumed that way throughout the entire service unless we were participating in something.

It worried me a bit, it seemed like he was disassociating - as to avoid what I wasn’t sure.

When we got back to the car I crossed my legs, buckling my seatbelt quietly and holding my purse in my lap. “What’s goin on baby?” I asked.

He shrugged, shaking his head a bit and starting the car. “Nothin.” He said plainly

“Mmm.” I mutter. “Funny cause you said we’d talk about it later” I said casually, pulling down the visor mirror on my side, reapplying my lipliner.

“Talkin ‘bout it now. And I said- nothin” he said shortly, starting the van and backing out of the parking spot.

“Ahhh of course because saying “nothings wrong” would have been too easy so instead- you added 3 extra words to tell me we’d talk about it now?” I pushed, carefully lining below my bottom lip.

“D’you ever drop anything?” He asked, annoyance lacing his tone.

“Mmm- no. I don’t..” I grinned teasingly

“It’s none of y’fuckin concern that’s what it is.” He said, rolling the window down and lighting a cigarette as we pulled up to a stoplight.

“Ohhh! Meeeeowww!” I teased, fishing my phone out of my purse. “Someone’s in a sour mood.” I tut, “I never got the invite to your pity party- did you forget about me lovey?” I teased.

He rolled his eyes, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand. “You love pushing my fuckin’ buttons.” He muttered before taking a drag.

“I loooove it. You know, you’ve yet to rage fuck me yet. Which is surprising- you’re 90% rage, and I’ve only gotten the 10% of soft.” I said, running my hand up his thigh until I got to his bulge, slowly stroking it over in his slacks.

“You couldn’t fucking handle it.” He said, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t fuckin test me.” He grumbled, flicking my hand into my lap and hitting the gas as the light turned green.

“Oh- oh- is that a challenge, Bear. You think I can’t take you? That I - can’t take you?” I scoffed, dropping my phone in the cup holder. “I find that a little rude. Where have your manners gone?” I drag my nails over the inside of his thigh, smiling to myself as his breath hitches. I knew he was stuck in a loop about something negative- and since he didn’t want to talk about it- he likely needed to fuck about it. It was a system we’d created- kind of an unspoken one. But he would ruminate, and brood like a big baby - if I couldn’t coax it out of him with my words, he’d probably been so pent up with nowhere to put it so he needed to release all those hormones before he could get it off his tongue. He always did, after a long day the pillow talk we had would usually be intense feelings of self-doubt and fear of the restaurant failing- even though it was never close to failing. He’s worried about who knows what and needs to escape with something he has that will remain consistent, and something very accessible- and that something usually happens to be me.

“I’m fuckin driving” he said, but his growing arousal beneath my palm begged for me to continue.

“Mmhmmm? And?” I asked, gripping him firmly at the base of his cock that was prominently showing now.

“Y’fuckin- Jesus Christ” he hissed, holding the steering wheel with a white knuckle grasp. “Such a little fuckin-“ he gasped lightly as I grip him tighter.

“What” I goad. “What? Finish the sentence, Carmy.” I tease, running my thumb along the vein I’d already memorized, feeling his member jump in the grip of my hand at the action.

“Dirty fucking whore.” He hissed, cheeks pink at the admission.

I giggled. “Awww- it’s nice to finally hear you say it” I teased, dragging the edge of my nail along his rock hard head

“J-Just-” he swallowed thickly, eyes locked on the road, refusing to break to meet my gaze

“Juuuust” I goaded, adding pressure and he whimpered

“Y’re fuckin evil” he said through clenched teeth, swallowing thickly and shaking his head lightly. “I said I’m fuckin driving.” he repeated, hips involuntarily bucking up into my grasp.

“So?” I asked, gently dragging my thumb over his waistband “Did you want me to stop, Bear?” I asked and he inhaled sharply, slightly shaking his head.

“Ohhhh-oh! So you like when i’m a dirty fucking whore for you?” I questioned, my hand stilling over his goosebump-ridden skin.

“Do what y’gonna fuckin do” he muttered, swallowing thickly.

“Fine” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling my skirt up my waist, slipping my panties and nylons down in one go after kicking off my heels into the footwell of the passenger side.

“What’re you-“ he glanced over at me as I hiked my right leg up on the dashboard after pushing my seat back to lay down.

“I’m doing what I’m gonna do. You said it yourself Bear - I’m a dirty fucking whore” I responded, angling myself so he could see and spreading myself out for him “so wet for you” I said in a sultry tone, gathering the sticky slick on my middle and forefingers, before bringing it right in front of his lips.

“Don’t you love how dirty I am?” I teased, rubbing the sticky arousal on his bottom lip

He flicked his cigarette out the window and opened his mouth, taking my digits in and sucking them, humming in satisfaction at the taste “yeah I know you fucking love it. It’s why we’re perfect together you’re just as much a freak as I am” I said, pushing my fingers further and he widened his jaw wantingly.

I gasped a bit as he bit down on my fingers “Such an animal” I giggle squeezing his cheeks and rubbing my spit slicked fingers down his chin when he released me

“You really wanna go right now when I’m tellin you I’m not in a good mood?” He asked

“If you’re in the mood- I want you. Otherwise no thanks but I think you’d have said something before now” I pulled my dress out of the way of my core. “You aren’t gonna look? You always tell me how pretty I am baby” I gently spread my folds, rubbing my wet cold middle finger over my clit gently “mmm it’s so much better when you do it Carmy, don’t you wanna touch me?” I begged

He glanced over at me, tugging his lip between his teeth as he fans over my position, eyes trailing down to my pussy.. “You can come up with what we were doin’ since you wanna be so fuckin’ needy and can’t wait a few hours. Little sex demon” he said, slowing down and turning into a post office parking lot that was deserted due to it being a Sunday.

“I wouldn’t be so needy if you didn’t look so angry and your arms didn’t look so good in that jacket” I said, crawling in the back and sitting on the floor excitedly

“One second anger scares you the next it turns you on- I can’t fuckin figure you out” he said, shutting the van off and getting out of the drivers side, and quickly opening and shutting the back sliding door when he got in..

“Yelling scares me but I think being your little stress toy is sexy cause you appreciate it” I lay back when he took off his jacket, laying it down for me like a pillow.

“Whats the word?” he asked before kissing my neck with nipping, hot, wet kisses.

“First - gentle on the neck and leaving marks baby were gonna be with your family, and second orchid” I assured and he hiked up my skirt.

“Good Girl” he said and spread my legs open, his tattooed hand finding my soaked core immediately and dragging his middle and ring finger up the slick, rubbing over my clit with quick light circles making my toes curl .

I gasped, already feeling like every nerve in my body was on fire. He had managed in our times together to memorize every single thing that made me creen in pleasure. He wanted me soaked before he’d barely even touched me, because that gave him the satisfaction of having memorized my body and the way it reacts to every little possible stimulation.

“Your good girl” I breathed, tugging up my skirt higher so he can kiss over my stomach and hips how he usually did, during moments of intimacy he wanted to feel and taste every part of me I would let him - it felt more like worshiping if I was honest with myself, but when I thought about it I would get way too worked up.

“That’s right princess” he gently nips on my skin. “How could I ever be rough w’you? Mmm? When y’so fuckin sweet? And so fuckin good f’me?” He hums, settling my thighs around his hips.

I giggled, breaking up the gel in his hair as he kissed over my naval and hips, and gently massaging his scalp. His eyes fluttered shut in bliss, his kisses slowing before resting his forehead on my stomach and letting out a satisfied sigh at the action “Youre gonna have freshly fucked hair” I teased.

“Don’t care. Mm keep touchin’ me please. Fuck baby-“ he rested his chin on my flesh looking up at me “I missed y’touchin me. So bad. Just touch me however you want” he begged, causing me to smile, a warm loving blush heating my cheeks.

“You like when I touch you?” I gently caress his cheek and he leaned into it like a man starved.

“I love it. I need it baby- really. I miss it so bad when y’cant.” He took my hand, kissing my palm. “I need you” he said softly.

I swallowed hard, trying to relieve the growing lump in my throat and I cupped his cheeks lovingly. “I’m always here” I said softly and pulled him into a sweet messy wanting kiss

I wrapped my arms around his back, gently playing with the hair at the base of his neck, smiling into his lips when I felt the goosebumps adorning his neck. “The reason we’re back here is cause I need you” I said sultrily in the shell of his ear, kissing his jaw gently.

“I know ‘m sorry” he unbuttoned his pants and I cup his jaw bringing his attention back to me.

“That’s not how I meant it bear” I said softly, gently moving his hands out of the way and unzipping them for him. “I love touching you, you know what right?” I asked as I untucked his shirt, gently running my hands up his toned stomach, feeling him lightly shiver beneath me

“Uh- yeah…yeah- I do- I just sometimes feel like…I dunno. I ask f’r too much” he said quietly

I rubbed over his abs, gently squeezing his hips and trailing my palms over his ribs beneath the loose fabric. “When do you ever even ask baby? I offer. I know you like it so I do it” I pull him closer, kissing the exposed bit of chest from the top 2 buttons being opened.

“Is it weird when I do ask?” he questioned softly and I look up at him.

“No. It’s not, it’s sweet and it’s healthy, Carm. It’s good to be loved” I gently kiss his neck and he guided me to lay, pushing himself free of his boxers and slacks, and lining himself up before gently pushing in.

I moaned out, locking my legs around his waist and pulling myself closer to nudge him deeper inside, arching my hips and whining as I feel the tip of his cock right over that spongy spot that made me sob and shake with pleasure

“You are fuckin greedy t’day Jesus Christ” he breathed, holding my hips for me “so fuckin pretty” he said as he pulls out halfway before rutting into that spot and I gasp sharply

“Fuuuuck oh oh- you’re fucked” I whine to which he chuckled, a satisfied grin on his face.

“You said you could handle this babe” he reminded, pushing in deeper but slowly as to not hurt me, resting his hand at the base of my stomach. “Fuuuck I love when y’let me have y’like this baby I can get so fuckin’ deep feel this” he said, taking my hand and resting it at the base of my stomach, slowly thrusting in.

I felt the movement beneath my hand, my jaw slack and the most lewd pornographic noises coming from my chest “s-so- so big” I whined out dropping my head back in bliss and eyes fluttering shut

“That’s right baby my good fuckin’ girl- my fuckin girl. Y’take me so fuckin well princess like Y’re fuckin made for me ye? Like y’re made t’take my fuckin’ cock? Mm? Made f’me to fill with my cum?” He asked as he started the relentless pace.

I couldn’t even think - I just nod quickly in response “made f-uckkk yes- yesyesyesyes made for you I’m yours” I slurred, reaching down and rubbing my clit causing me to clench around him tightly

He grunted, looking down and watching my fingers spreading around his cock as I rubbed myself “yeah? Y’like bein’ mine? Mmm? Y’like that I fuckin own this pussy? So goddamn greedy - needin’ me t’fill you up twice already today and it's not even lunch” He thrusts harder causing my back to arch sharply

Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes now at the waves of pleasure that were so intense the air around us felt like it was crackling with electricity. I opened my eyes once more to find his gaze locked on my cunt, mesmerized by the thick white strings of arousal sticking to the base of his cock before snapping as he thrusted in and out.

“Mmm isn’t it so fucking pretty were so pretty together baby” I moved my fingers faster, sitting up on my other elbow and nearly collapsing again at the new pleasure it brought.

“Woah” he noticed, quickly wrapping an arm around my back and my head drops back to meet his gaze as he stopped thrusting

“Fuck me oh my god fuck me- I- can you please? My- my knees can’t touch the floor my thighs are too short when I’m up on your lap you’re right i’m so fucking greedy for you I need you please fill me up please claim me”” I said in a needy tone, my breath rapid and uneven.

“You are going to be the death of me” he groaned, holding the backs of my thighs and sitting me up on his hips with his palms on my ass, before leaning on the back wall of the van and thrusting up into me, hard and fast.

My eyes nearly rolled back before closing, my jaw slack with pleasure. I nodded quickly, tears spilling over my cheeks as he continued. Fireworks and stars float behind my eyes and I clutch the seat next to us with a white knuckle grasp to have some tether to my body.

“So fuckin pretty” he grunted, fucking up into me harder “y’want me to fill this pretty pussy up? Mmm? Y’want me to fuckin make sure y’drippin the rest of the day? My little whore” he kissed my neck roughly and I couldn’t even warn him before my hips were shaking and my core was squeezing and releasing around him in a way that told him I’d reached my peak.

My whole body felt waves of heat rushing through, everything felt so good it was starting to feel painful but I couldn’t ask for him to stop- I wouldn’t. I had never felt so good before, physically, mentally, emotionally. I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. The words fell out of me before I’d even registered the thought wasn’t just a thought, and was really coming out of my mouth.

“I fucking love you” I cried out. 3 months. Three. That was it. That was all I’d had of him, and I’d known I’d loved him for probably 2 of those months. And had bitten my tongue and avoided the issue and successfully evaded his weird roundabout questions that would allude to me being in love with him until now. So if he didn’t feel the same, this was all we had, and all and would ever get.

“Shit. Say it. Say it again baby been wantin’ it so fuckin’ long now” he rasped. I opened up my eyes, looking up at him to see his gaze was locked on me, like I had hung the sun in the sky just for him.

“I love you Carmen.” I said honestly and he moaned, resting his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. I smelt his minty breath mingling with mine, hot as it fanned my lips.

“Yeah? Say it- fuck- say it one more time angel” he said, hips stuttering and thrusts becoming more sloppy.

I cupped his cheeks, feeling as if we were the only 2 people left on earth and all we had was time. “I fucking love you, bear” I said while looking into his eyes and he whined quietly, spilling into me so much that it began leaking out onto his thighs and the curve of my ass before he even pulled out and drawing me into a deep, fervent, wanting kiss, wrapping his strong arms around me and keeping his cock nestled deep inside as we exchanged hot, loving, messy kisses.

“Do you- do you really?” he asked when we pulled away to breathe, both of our chests moving up and down rapidly.

I nodded, swallowing thickly “It- It slipped out…I didn’t mean to tell you like this - I wasn’t thinking- I know it scares you- I- I wont say it again if it-” he stops me by kissing me again, slipping his tongue over mine and wrapping me in a bear hug, leaning against the door and sucking on my tongue gently.

I hum in satisfaction, closing my eyes and letting him have me. “Say it whenever you want, please” he said softly when he finally pulled away.

“You- you don’t think you can say it?” I asked, biting the inside of my lip nervously.

I had a feeling he was in love with me, but I’d been here before with someone and the L word scared them off. But the guy has been essentially living with me since we started seeing eachother - what else would that be!?

“No - No…honey thats not- I-I love you - ‘msorry, I thought you could… that you could tell what else should I do?” he asked and I smiled wide.

“Saying it was the only thing you were missing- oh and maybe coming home on time once in a while to show me you actually like being there- but nothing to be sorry for, I see you baby” I assured him, gently kissing his sticky sweaty cheek.

I felt like I was in the most beautiful dream ever, There was nothing more that I wanted than him, and this.

He buried his face in my neck, sniffling softly and remaining quiet for a few minutes, before saying “We should go home and change, theres definitely cum all over that dress” he joked. His voice sounded slightly horse, and when I sat up to look at him he quickly wiped away a tear staining his cheek.

“I love you, and you don’t have to say it all the time baby - I’ll probably say it a lot more than you cause it’s just how I am, and I know you, and how you are. You show me with your actions how much you love me, and thats what I need. I know baby, I know you love me. I can tell you love me, every day” I wiped the stray tears from his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, gently cupping his jaw.

“How could you know if I never said it?” he asked and rested his hands on my lower back.

I took a deep breath, sighing softly as I thought with a small smile on my lips “Lets see… you always make me lunch- and dinner - you always watch shows I wanna watch, you actually listen to me when I talk about them- and notice things, and ask me questions. You always say thank you, even for small silly things like when I rub your hair, or when I make you your coffee. You compliment my crochet and costume making, and ask me about the books I read. You bring Persephone little toys and treats on the weekends when you have to hang out with her while I do inventory with Sadie. You always push yourself for me- even though I never ask you to, like bringing me flowers- or that time you bought my perfume because it was getting low and didn't say anything? You show me, Carmy. Every day, to be loved is to be seen. And you are always showing me that you see things about me that I didn’t notice you could even see because I thought I hid them well enough” I asked and he nodded a bit

“Now that you mention it… I guess I didn’t know what it meant, I knew I felt for you like- differently… then anyone before. But I felt like it would be too fair to call it love” he said and I pout a bit

“What do you mean, fair?” I asked and he rubs up my back gently with flat palms

“Fair to me. I didn’t think that something that felt so good could be love, that it was like- the universe fuckin’ w’me again. And something er someone would take you away from me as soon as I called it love” he said and I gently kiss his chin, then lips, then the tip of his nose.

“Love can be scary, I keep waiting for me to do something and you just…turn. Like- like a monster or something. But it's not to do with you- because I can’t ever see you doing that, It’s just my past relationships scarred me so deeply that I'm just waiting. Like the day I dropped the cup at the restaurant, I thought you were gonna yell at me for some reason- even though you've never yelled at me. My ex would have yelled at me for hours over that- but you didn’t. You told me it was okay, and you cleaned it up and never rubbed it in my face or anything. That healed something in me, like- i’m not so scared to make a mistake around you anymore, cause it’s happened and you reacted healthily. So every time you think I'm going to leave, and I don't- it's going to heal a small part of a fear like that in you, and make this all alot less scary. At least- that's what my therapist says” I shruged a bit.

“I’m glad it’s with you. Being in love.” he said softly, eyes fluttering shut as I gently brushed my fingers through his messy hair to look a bit more contained.

I smiled, kissing his forehead gently “I’m glad too, Bear. I wouldn’t wanna love anyone else”

“Where the fuck have you guys been? Hey sweetheart- did you go back home and change?” Richie asks as we came in the kitchen.

I was baring a bouquet of flowers and Carmy was holding a 2 bottles of wine “sorry! Yeah my heels were bugging me it’s my fault” I said giving him a hug and he kisses my cheek

“You better not be pregnant yet the holidays are the worst time - also Richie will you quiet your loud mouth I just put Bee down” Natalie says as she comes by giving me a kiss on the cheek and ruffling Carm’s hair

“Wine? Look at you Bear she’s turned you into a real adult- takin’ gifts to parties like a big boy” she teased, taking the bottles and he rolled his eyes

“She’s not pregnant and you’re not funny” he took my hand, pulling me to him and rubbing my back gently.

That was another thing- the family now saw us as the next couple to get pregnant - even though we’d hardly been together a year - Because ‘they dont want our kids to be the only cousins being left out when the girls are older, I guess maybe I should take it as a good thing and being they’ve accepted me as one of theirs

“Let’s sneak t’the backyard before they can rope me in t’somethin yeah?” He whispered in my ear

“Okay” I smiled, kissing his cheek gently and lacing our fingers together as he leads us towards the back door

“Hey! Carm I didn’t know you were coming who’s this?” An older man says and I turned around

“I didn’t know you were comin’ hey Unc- this is my girlfriend, Winnie” he said and I smiled

“Hi” I wave shyly to the older man. I’d never seen him before, Carmy did mention though he had been paying an Uncle Jimmy back for money Mikey had borrowed for the restaurant but no one else - so this must be him.

“Ahhhh okay, Hello Winnie - what a name. You are just a sweetheart, Is this one treatin’ you good? I can knock some sense into ‘em. You ever need anything you come find Jimmy okay?” he teased and I smiled a bit

“He is nothing short of lovely but I promise I’ll pass word if that ever changes and take you up on the offer” I joked and he smiled

“She’s gonna fit in just fine here, Carm. Where’d you find this one?” He asked and Carm shrugged a bit.

“Just. Around. Moms not coming is she?” Carmy asked and I looked up at him

“Who knows kid. She told me she’s off the bottle but- who knows” he said with a shrug and Carm nodded a bit.

“Don’t tell ‘em where we went, please” he opened the back door, tugging me outside and shutting it behind us.

“If my mom comes we’re leaving” he said and I crossed my arms.

“You don’t want me to meet her but you love me?” I asked and he chuckled dryly.

He hadn’t spoken much about her, the most I’d known was that she’s a raging alcoholic- had driven a car through their family home at one point, but when Natalie had her first baby she cleaned up for about 6 months, then fell off again- and has been going months in addiction, then trying to clean up for a birthday or something like this, and the cycle maintains that way.

He digs his cigarettes out of his jeans, pulling one out. “I don’t want you to meet her because I love you. Don’t pull that. Is that gonna be a fuckin’ card for you now because I was honest?” He stuck it between his lips and lit it.

I felt my stomach twist. He was already starting to fly off the handle and say things he didn’t mean. That little comment would absolutely be a deeper conversation when we did get home - because I didn’t appreciate it in the slightest.

“A card?” I scoff “what do you mean card. This isn’t a game, Carm, this is our lives, There are no cards.” I took a deep breath to try and regulate myself. “You don’t really talk about her. And I don’t want to push you- but what is it is she mean? Is it just that you think she’s gonna hate me?” I questioned and he rubbed over his forehead, exhaling smoke away from us.

“Winnie it’s not even- this isn’t even the fuckin place t’talk about it. No she’s not- she’s not fuckin mean she just has issues okay. And she - she fuckin yells it’s more for your sake, she’s all fuckin loud and I don’t want her freakin you out and - I— I just don’t want her showing up and if she does oh well, we’ll be gone before she knew we were here. I don’t even want her knowing about you. Not right now at least. Whenever we get married or whatever the fuck - sure I’ll tell ‘er, but before then she just has the potential of fucking this up” he said before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

Of course. This was all leading back to his abandonment issues. Most of the issues in our relationship related back to my anxiety around death, and his anxiety around being left alone because he’s ‘not good enough’ in his mind. We couldn’t keep basing our relationship around fears or we’d never grow- so, I pushed.

“Your mom isn’t gonna scare me away. I don’t care if she is a screamer. My mom was a screamer. Chris didn’t have to deal with it- I did. By myself. So trust that I can handle it. I don’t want you getting comfortable yelling at me because I have to live with you. But I love you, and I love everyone else we’ve met in your family, and so I’m sure I will like her if she shows up.” I said and he shook his head.

“No. No. I don’t wanna hear what she has T’say babe. Good- thank you- I’m glad - I-I’m happy you aren’t gonna fuckin leave but I don’t want to hear her fuckin mouth, Winnie. Shes gonna have somethin to say about you, about us. And I- I can’t handle it. I care about you too much and I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut and I’m gonna ruin the entire night. If she chooses me the whole night will get ruined because if she chooses me you’ll start and then she of course can’t -“ he shut his eyes, breathing deeply.

He wasn’t budging about this, or even willing to compromise with me - and his telltale signs of a panic attack started to show, quick breathing, flushed skin, scrunched brows, literally shutting himself off by squeezing his eyes shut.

“Baby” I said softly, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his middle. “We’ll go. We’ll go.” I assured him, gently running my finger over the bulging vein in his neck with a featherlight touch. “You’re so stressed love, breathe” I rub my palm gently over his racing heart.

“This is why. I can’t even fuckin think about it Winnie, I can’t” he wrapped his arm around my waist and took another drag of his cigarette.

I had to break this thought loop he was stuck in right now. I could see the gears turning in his mind, each and every worst-case scenario playing out in great detail like a film reel. It was something that my therapist had taught me during sessions and I had eventually picked up on, and started doing it with Carm. She would ask me a random question about something I love, so Taylor Swift, or Music Festivals, or Cats, and get me really into talking about it - and all the negative thoughts just snap away.

“How many kinds of vinegar are there?” I ask and he raised his eyebrow in confusion.

“Vinegar?” He asked and I nod.

“All kinds. Well- I’ll be fair I guess cooking kinds, are there other kinds?” I gently fixed his chain to face the front.

“Anything that is a fruit vegetable or a grain can be a vinegar, honey- why are you asking me this?” He questions and I shrug.

“Because I wanna know. So ew you can make onion vinegar?” I scrunch my nose.

“Uh-“ he took a drag of his cigarette “yes babe but…who the fuck would want that?” He asked, a small hint of a smile on his lips, my trick working as it usually did.

“What about balsamic vinegar, what is that?” I asked, sticking my hand under his shirt and holding his hip, stroking little lines into his skin with the pad of my thumb.

“It’s grape juice vinegar instead of wine vinegar to put it simple” he said and I nod

“You’re smart” I said, gently kissing his jaw “so so smart. It’s sexy” I said and he gently squeezed my bum

“What’s all the interest about vinegar babe you writin’ a book?” He teased and I giggle into his skin

“You’re not stuck in a loop anymore that’s what” I kissed down his neck. “And I was thinking about it in church. I was like what is red wine vinegar. Oh yeah and what is it?” I asked and he chuckled.

“Mmm so full of questions sweetheart. They take red wine, then they ferment it, and then they add a culture-“

“A culture like yogurt?” I asked and he hummed

“A culture like yogurt, that’s right little Sous someone’s been listening when I go on about work stuff huh?” He said, patting me gently.

I smiled proudly “I love listening t’you. Okay keep going smarty sorry for interrupting” I said and he threw his cigarette butt down into the ash tray on the rail before wrapping his other arm around me and leaning against the wall.

“Well not much else princess, they just ferment it and then add the culture then they put it in a barrel to ferment” he explained and the door opened

“Bear Richie needs your help he’s fucking everything up with the lamb can you please come in?” Natalie asked

“I literally sent him a text of what to do step by step” he huffs, “You wanna do the lemon zest honey?” He asked me as we went inside

“Sure, I’ve been told I’m you’re best zester” I teased and he chuckled as he rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands

“You are my best zester and my best girl.” He kisses my temple when I come next to him at the sink to wash my hands.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

After I’d dressed the lamb and put it in the oven, I went and sat on the couch with Sadie and Winnie who were deep in conversation about something I couldn’t even pay attention to at the moment. Because Nat had pulled me aside about 25 minutes ago to tell me mom is coming, but only for dessert- and only because she’s ’on the mend again.’ Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.

She’d been ‘on the mend’ and uncountable amount of times since Natalie's kids had been born. Each time was unpredictable to say the least. I had completely given up on her ever becoming fully ‘healthy’ whatever that means, a long time ago. But if she would at the very least be honest and not have to make a huge scene of being removed when she shows up drunk after she swore she would be ‘sober as a nun’ that would be at the very least more respectable.

Natalie had begged me to stay. Said I was the ‘only one she’d talk to’ which felt like bullshit- because mom and I don’t talk. She talks and I listen - and I told her if she’s drunk we’re leaving. I have a bad feeling Winnie and Mom won’t take kindly to each other especially if moms drunk. Of course that wouldn’t be Winnies fault, but the point still stood strong. Also- Syd is here, and I don’t want Syd dealing with that. So if mom does show up - which I really hoped she wouldn’t and was just trying to give Natalie some false hope she still cared about the family at all since Mike did what he did - I’m taking Winnie and Syd and getting the fuck out of here..

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Winnie laughing loudly “Sadie you are gonna piss him off stop” she rubs my arm

“I think it’s precious baby don’t listen to them” she said and I look up at Sadie who’s showing Syd a video on her phone and she gasps before slapping her arm and laughing

“Sadie stop!!” She laughs “A) he doesn’t carry a bag B) he doesn’t have a mustache- but everything else is accurate in that” she took a sip from her wine glass

“What? Are you making fun of me?” I asked and Winnie laughed a bit, a frisky grin on her face

“What!? Never baby it’s just a silly joke how we’re like..a common match I guess. It’s only a joke” she explained and I extended my hand

“Let me see” I told Sadie and she shook her head

“You weren’t paying attention so no” she teased and I roll my eyes

“Children” but I couldn’t help but smile a bit. That was something I did around Winnie a lot. Richie was right, she is very funny, in strange ways but she is. It’s more of a childlike randomness then anything else but it tends to really draw people in. It drew me in. I still hadn’t had a chance to ruminate over what happened earlier.

I do love her. I just feel scared that I said it, that now I did there really is another shoe waiting to drop. It almost felt like another secret, because if it’s not i’m gonna be drilled with questions. Questions that I likely don’t have the answer to and won't until I talk it out with my therapist like every other fucking thing in my life. It was starting to revolve around that woman. Or thats what it felt like. I’d been seeing an individual therapist for only 2 months out of the three we’d been dating. I’d started after breaking down in Nat’s car at 3 am that one time. She’d told me she was either dragging me there, or she ‘couldn’t be around me anymore’ because it hurt her too much to see me ‘spiraling out like Michael without the drugs’ .

I’d thought she was being dramatic, sure the only reason I broke down like that was Winnie, and I refused to stop seeing her so that would no longer happen - but I also couldn’t stand not seeing and talking to Nat so often, I forgot how much i’d missed her in New York and her …. nagging. Strangely enough.

“Bear-” I felt a grab on my shoulder and see Nat standing there “Let’s go outside yeah?” she said and I nodded a bit, looking over at Winnie

“Be back in a second yeah?” I kiss her head and she nods turning back to Sadie listening to whatever story she was telling her

I shut the door behind us digging a cigarette out and lighting it. “You’re quiet tonight” she leaned against the rail and watched me.

“A lot going on in case you haven’t realized” I muttered, taking a drag and looking down the street to avert her gaze. I wasn’t gonna go into everything right now, not here - and not when mom is gonna be here who knows when because she’s said that she was coming to dessert before and then came hours before expected because she thought Nat had told her 6 when she’d really told nat 8.

“Is it…Winnie?” she asked, and I suddenly felt annoyed at the thought that anyone could ever think she did something to me to intentionally make me feel this way

“No- no. Why would it be? Its fuckin mom. Winnie was all fuckin excited to come here and be here with all of you- because i’ve told you I don’t want her around mom- so since I was told she 100% was not coming I decided - oh how fuckin nice- she talks about never havin’ a fuckin family to do shit with, and never having been to a fuckin dinner like this- and now day fuckin’ of you drop on me she’d be here. If I’d have known, I’d never have come here. I’d never have told her. Because she loves to be apart and she - she wants me to feel good about shit like this but I can’t when mom’s involved. And now - it’s gonna be a whole fucking thing t’night when we get home. And its not her fault she sees when im upset, and its not her fault she can be normal when talking about shit like this. And its not her fault were all so fucked up. So it's not Winnie- Its us. Its who we are as a fucking family unit. So thats what it is, Nat” I said and finally looked over at her.

She sighed deeply, nodding a bit. “Shes smart, Bear. And strong as any one of us, i’ve talked to her, you know? More then just once. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, and you’re a good person, Carm. She’s not pestering you, she’s worried about you. But we all know how you love worrying about your own shit so much that you can’t see the people around wanting to help.” she said.

“Thats why I don’t want her around mom. Because I know she wont be able to stand her, Nat. She’s….she doesn’t let peoples shit slide. And I’m worried because I can’t control her- I- I wont. It’s one of her…rules” I sighed a bit.

“She gives you….rules?” she asked.

“Not like that- just like- ‘do this and I’ll leave you without question this is your warning’ and one of ‘em is If I ever seriously try to control how she acts around anyone were done. Which I can understand shes a girl and all that” I stomp out the burning butt under my shoe.

“See- shes smart. And It will be fine as long as Mom comes sober and stays that way. She wont start anything with anyone as long as she is. Can you just please, please do me a favor and try to keep her away from the liquor, Carm? We’re putting it away before she gets here but… She can’t be around the kids if she drinks and Bee’s been fussy and I can't let Charlie see her if she gets drunk without anyone looking. I can’t keep an eye on her, but you can! Please Carm, please” she begged.

“No- No. Fuck no, actually. Fuck that- and fuck this, Natalie. No, I’m not leaving my fucking girlfriend alone tonight, so I can chase mom around the house to make sure that she doesn’t drink. I’ve told you. I don’t want to be a part anymore of her fuckin’ bullshit! What are- are you even getting out of this, Natalie? She’s not a grandmother, she’s an extra child you bring around presenting as a fuckin’ grandmother because you want y’r fuckin’ kids to have what we didn’t even have. Newsflash, Nat- To know how to be a fuckin’ grandmother? You need to have been a mother- something she’s never been good at. I’m glad you took me out here because the last thing I needed was mom showing up - and me being expected to play fuckin’ alcoholic sitter all night. Enjoy your shit show with mom”

I turned around, opening the front door and having every urge to slam it, but holding back and shutting it calmly. I leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths and rubbing over my face. If I go in theliving room steaming, Winnie’s gonna cause a whole fucking scene trying to calm me down, well- not a scene - but she’d notice how upset I was off the bat, and then i’d make a scene trying to convince her I was fine when that was the furthest from the truth and spiral out of control when she didn’t believe me.

This was not how this night was gonna go. Not if I could do anything to help it. If Winnie wanted to do a big fucking family dinner at Nat’s or Richies, or something. Hell, I’d buy a fucking house and throw a dinner party there with everyone if it meant I kept her from being apart of this god damned dumpster fire of a situation.

“Honey” I called from the hall, trying to keep my voice even and digging my keys out of my pocket.

“Comin’!” she called from the living room, a few seconds later showing up at the end of the hall and padding over to me with her glass of wine and her regular smiley warm demenor.

“Hey baby” I tried my best to put on a small smile, “Uh- I’m sorry…I’m not feelin’ good my stomach is feelin’ pretty fucked and I have bad heartburn, we’ll come back for the next one, yeah?” I told her, wrapping my hands around her hips and pulling her closer.

“Oh no! Sweetheart, you have barely eaten today mm? That may be why your tummy is buggin’ you. Lets get you something small before dinner and you can lay down and see if it passes? If not we can go, The lamb you made is smelling so good baby I wanted to try it, I’ve never had that before” She asked sweetly, gently rubbing my chest.

Damn her always having solutions.

“No- honey… please- please? I just wanna go home and lay down and watch our shows, I can’t even hold anything down right now- can we?” I asked gently, leaning against the wall.

Before she could even answer, my entire world spin and flew off of its axis. I wanted the ground to swallow Winnie and I up and send us somewhere that was anywhere but here. The entire house silenced, other then the near bane of my existence but also the unfortunate giver of life I was currently living out. “No! NO! If my SON doesn’t want to see me, He will TELL ME WHY Natalie! He can EXPLAIN HIMSELF! I am not a child! I can HANDLE MY OWN SON YOU MY FUCKED UP LITTLE WANNABE AS MUCH AS YOU TRY TO REPLACE ME - ARE NOT HIS MOTHER!”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

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limeade-l3sbian · 7 months ago

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I think volunteering in general is good (hot take). But I think when you are facing long-term unemployment, it is wonderful. When I was out of a job for months, I decided to volunteer at a palliative care center answering phones and making bereavement calls.

I was very candid with them. Told them when I found a job I would most likely have to leave (important!). And they worked with me. I went in 2-3 days out of the week and stayed for however long it took me to finish up the packet they'd give me to work on.

But just filling that time with something instead of letting myself rot while waiting for these asshole corporations to call back was a real life saver. I got to talk with a lot of people who sometimes would talk a little longer about how they were feeling (we called to see if they were interested in free, counseling groups in their area that we could connect them to). Another hot take: volunteering is very fulfilling lol. And when I finally did get my job, I had a feeling of consistency rather than trying to get back into the groove of things that made me feel like I hadn't been just wasting my time.

I also think if you know that you have become too involved with yourself, it is a great way to step back. Not because, "Oh, wow. People have it so much harder than me." But the work itself in no way pertains to you.

TL;DR: Go volunteer. It's good for the soul.

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bakathief · 7 months ago

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I'm a little shy! But I would like to express my amazement and admiration! A while ago I found your Shadow Chase art, I loved it and became a fan, you create very funny stories and your art is beautiful, but that's not the point, I started following you because of that, but then I realized that you have many others projects and You are also very busy with your personal life. My question is how is everything organized and planned to advance a project despite academic/work responsibilities? I've seen that you even have collaborations with others and I keep thinking "this person is great." As a final note, I just want to leave my good wishes and hope you have a nice week. <3

Gosh, so many compliments in one ask, I‘m still a little loss for words. Thank you so much for reading my work and looking into my other projects, collabs and art! I hope you‘ve been enjoying them. ❤️

I think there is no denying that I need to organize myself a little bit to make everything work. I think I‘ve always used drawing, especially drawing comics, as a way to breathe and when I started uni I promised myself I would continue drawing somehow. The first semester was hell, but I finished all the way. 💪 And I had the same mindset for working, so when I started this year I was very motivated to draw. Lol I think it also helped that I had several different projects to work on so when I wasn’t in the mood for black and white I would move to something colorful. Comics also offer the possibility to work on different parts. Do I want to work on the story, on the storyboards, on the actual drawings or just editing…? A lot of options. And this is something which I heard on a video on AI but artist and creative people in general don‘t create in other to have more content but to get something out of their head and feel the satisfaction of creating a certain idea and I felt that very much. And then there is the joy of collabs and while there were unfortunately more failed attempts at collabs I’m very glad for those which eventually resulted in great projects. ❤️ I might have to take actual breaks from drawing when I get back to my thesis. I finished all the work but need to write the discussion part and wow, how much I don‘t wanna work on that.

Currently I use my time on commutes for drawings digitally or making storyboards. In the evening I finish private stuff and when time is left I work on traditional art. Shadow Chase is the only project where I try to have an overview on how many pages I have done and want to finish before the next upload. Other works can usually go up once finished. When I create something for fan projects like zines, bigbangs, etc. I usually just try to finish said project right away. I don‘t like procrastinating (except my thesis I guess) and rather have stuff than can be finished done right away and focus on my other projects again. Shades of Tourmaline was definitely my biggest collab project yet and with the amount of art planned it took like 3 years to finish because that was something I couldn‘t get done right away. 😂 fortunately clef was very patient with me (and kept me distracted with new collabs, oops).

The short answer would be I try to draw as much as possible because it is just a lot of fun with the additional bonus of entertaining a few people. ❤️

#I hope I don‘t sound smart or anything #But drawing is honestly just a lot of fun #And working on ideas in general #Getting them out #That‘s the life #And sometimes I just get to talk to really cool people because of that too 😎#Thank you again for looking into my work 💕

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suzieb-fit · 3 months ago

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Hmm, just when I was starting to think I'd finally "cracked it" with the mucus solution. Yesterday was a really settled day. Still there throughout the day, but at a low level and no major flare ups.

Then this morning? Yep. Boom.... Back as bad as ever.

Ugh. Maybe that's how the detox works? Gradually eases with the occasional bad flare up, but less and less frequently til they die off altogether. Or am I just being delusional, lol?

Anyway, I'm weight training this morning. Upper body.

Woke up pretty tired, so started a little later.

Breakfast outside on a very dull, drizzly Monday morning before anything else.

I am all about fueling my body properly.

No more fasting. This is more technically "time restricted eating". Finishing eating sfter an early dinner, giving my digestive system a good break before breakfast.

I might occasionally go longer, but I night also occasionally go no longer than 12hrs.

My current training focus needs good quality feeding.

I took my usual half an hour walk straight after.

Upper body strength today. I hit those weights pretty hard.

Ended with a tuck jump sprint interval. Wow, total game changer!

Lunch was chicken salad with grapes and fake cheese. Coconut based. Actually pretty nice.

I decided to do something different for my afternoon fitness bout. Got on the rowing machine. Actually hate rowing, lol. Just feels like I'm on there for weeks! I put my earphones in and listened to a podcast. Made it slightly more tolerable.

Fresh fruit, walnuts, mixed seeds, ground coconut and a splash of olive oil after that.

Time to chill, now.

Today was a double chicken day. Had some for dinner too! Had that with avocado and veggies. Fresh ginger, herbs and spices.

I decided on an extra snack. Grapes and macadamia nuts.

Training hard and heavy has sent my "refeed" brain into overdrive!

And I might even make a second serving of my breakfast recipe tonight. Add some frozen blueberries.

That will add upto a whole lot of food, but meh, I can definitely add a few pounds without any worries. I'm lower than my normal maintenance goal right now.

Breakfast will be later tomorrow, so I'll also still get at least that 12hr digestive rest. No commitment either way. I'll just see how I feel later.

I feel fantastic at the moment. Yes, this morning's bad flare up knocked me sideways, but it was only maybe a couple of hours out of an otherwise excellent day!

#fitspo #fitspiration #fitblr #healthy living #fitness #health and fitness #fit #workout #suzieb-fit #health and nutrition #diet and nutrition #healthy nutrition #muscle strength #strength training #sprint interval training #metabolichealth #weight training

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gingerjunhan · 11 months ago

Note

hi there~ first of all i love how you write your oneshots drabbles and stuff so i came to request one with Gun-il the only problem being i don’t know what i want? The only thing i know is that i want it to be angsty with a happy ending and for plot you can write about anything!!

☆彡 writing Gunil angst is new for me! I’ve noticed I only ever write about him when I need comfort in my daily life so this should be fun lol. I hope you enjoy!🩷

word count: 1,125 | pronouns used: none | genre: hurt/comfort, established relationship | cws: Gunil is forgetful, crying, feeling guilty, swearing, eating (mentioned), lmk if I missed something!

Music played from your phone as you continued applying your makeup. You and Gunil have had this date planned for two weeks, and you couldn’t be more excited.

Once Gunil got home from work, the two of you were going to go out for dinner and to see a movie. It was stereotypical, but that’s part of why you’re excited. This felt like a totally cliche, and you were surprised you haven’t done it yet. You checked the time. 6:14. He should be home any minute. You happily continued to finish getting ready as you waited to hear the front door.

☆

You were finally done getting ready, and you looked amazing. It was around 6:30 now, and you were starting to get a little nervous. Gunil was normally home around this time. You had reminded him about your date when he left for work this morning, so you knew he wouldn’t be staying late. You both planned to go out around 7:00 so he had time to clean up after work, but now you were wondering if you would be pushing your deadline. The movie you wanted to see started at 8:00, so you had to make use of your time. You decided to text him.

hey is everything alright? I thought you’d be home by now

To your surprise, his response was almost instantaneous.

sorry my love :( Jiseok needed help with a song and asked for my help

we’re almost finished. I’ll be home soon

You responded with a quick, “Okay!” before deciding to try and kill some time. You scrolled through social media for a while- getting lost in the depths of TikTok. When you finally worked your way out of your social media trance, it was going on 7:00. You anxiously debated texting Gunil again, but you decided not to. He’s a grown man, he can remember his own schedule. You continued to find more ways to kill time, and the more you waited the more your heart sank.

After what seemed like forever, the door finally opened. You swung your head around to finally see Gunil as he took off his shoes. It was 7:21.

“Hello, love,” Gunil greeted you as he came over to the couch and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry I’m home so late. Jiseok really needed my help and we lost track of time.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, trying your best to sound unbothered. You stood up to go get your things before leaving when Gunil stopped you.

“Wow, you look nice! What’s the occasion?”

You took a deep breath. “Gunil, we were-“ he tilted his head in confusion as he watched your confused reaction to his question. “Um… never mind.” You made your way back to your shared bedroom- admittedly walking away a little faster than you wanted to- and closed the door.

“(Y/N)? Hey, what’s wrong? Did I do something? Did something happen?” Gunil trekked his way down the hall as he asked you his questions, and you didn’t respond. He knocked on the door. “(Y/N)? What happened, honey?” He slowly turned the knob and walked in.

Inside, you had already started undressing. Your cute top has been replaced with a t-shirt, and your makeup was slowly getting ruined by the tears that escaped your eyes.

“(Y/N),” Gunil made his way over to you. “What hap-“

“Do you know what today is?” You questioned him. It came out a little more angry than you intended. Gunil quickly wracked his brain.

“Um… Tuesday?”

You sighed. “Do you remember what we were supposed to be doing today?”

Gunil thought even more. He thought about your outfit, and why you seemed to be so nervous about him coming home late. He thought about what would’ve happened to you today. You had a day off, and you didn’t have much planned for the day other than the fact that you wanted to-

“Oh shit,” he remembered. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry. I got so busy at work that I completely forgot. Do you still want to go get dinner?”

“Nope, just forget it. It’s fine,” you sniffled.

“It’s not fine, honey. You were excited for this date and I forgot. This is all my fault,” he frowned as he watched you take the last of your nice clothes off and replace them with something more comfortable. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re busy anyways.”

Gunil felt his heart break. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, just…“ you made your way towards the bathroom, “leave me alone.”

☆

Last night, Gunil hardly got any sleep because he felt so bad about forgetting about your date. However, he had a plan. You were both back to work today, so Gunil made sure to tell the guys that he had to leave a bit early today. You both typically got home around the same time, but Gunil had to make sure he was home first.

Gunil was in the kitchen, working hard to perfect your favorite meal. He had cleaned up the apartment, did all of the chores the two of you would usually split, and now he was cooking. If Gunil couldn’t take you out, he would make sure you both had a good night in. The table was set a little more fancy than usual, and Gunil was dressed a little nicer than usual as well. He had to make sure everything was perfect by the time you got home.

Right as Gunil took the food out of the oven, he heard you open the front door.

“I’m home,” you called out to him. You took off your shoes and made your way into the kitchen, following the smell that greeted you once you came in the door. Rounding the corner of the kitchen, you were met with Gunil. “What are you doing? I thought it was my turn to make dinner.”

“Well,” Gunil set the food down on the counter. “I felt so bad about forgetting our date last night that I decided to bring the date to you.” He gave you a soft smile, and you couldn’t help the butterflies that fluttered through your stomach. “The table is set. We can eat now if you’re hungry. I also picked out a movie for us to watch afterwards if you’re in the mood.”

You completely disregarded what he said and rushed towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I love you so much,” you gave him a kiss, and you could feel him smile against your lips.

“I love you too,” he confessed before pulling away. “C’mon, let’s go eat before the food gets cold, okay?”

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

#xdinary heroes x reader #xdinary heroes imagine #xdh x reader #xdh imagines #xdh fluff #gunil x reader

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thelegendofstella · 2 years ago

Text

you have to wake up.

how?

you turn on the light.

(click/tap for better quality. closeups, notes, etc. under cut)

EDIT 4/9/2023: Image alts updated with IDs as per asking/request! I was way too tired to even think about doing them when I first posted this, lol, my bad

Closeups:

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO FINISH THIS IN TIME FOR THE FINALE. OH MY GOD

I've been working on this for ages (read: procrastinated until the last few days) and I can't believe how good this turned out in the end. For my standards, anyway. I just had to get this out somehow before the finale aired and I actually made it,,, Yay ;u; (1:30 AM on the day of is close enough, man fgyusdgshfsddsf)

This is basically kind of a redraw of one of the scenes in the WaD trailer we got a couple of weeks back that implied Amity and co. were attacking Luz because they thought she was Belos, because wow that was sure something. But I really have to give credit to this post for being my main inspiration and reference—that combined with the analysis posts of the trailer that have come out since then just really got my drive going.

I surprisingly don't have much to say about the process of this other than oh my god it was so hard to get all of their base colors??? Especially Willow's eye color, can you believe they've never shown her open eyes without glasses in natural light. I can, I looked. Besides that I am woefully unpracticed in shading so I just kinda winged it as best as I could here fdhjsdf.

(Please appreciate Belos' hands here, it took me fucking ages to get them right in the sketch. Perspective hands SUCK)

This came out to 3000px width by 1200px height, the largest canvas I've ever done so far. The .kra file of this has 981 layers, including folders (of which there were a lot because I am stupidly organized like that), and more filter layers than I know what to do with lol.

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sk8termikey · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter 1 of 21 Questions

*lily pov* looks better on wattpad btw

Lily was actually surprised to see that the last stranger she texted had answered so quickly – she was assuming that it was either someone living in the US or just someone with a really messed up schedule.

*********

Heyy stranger, wanna play 21 questions? :)

Hello there :) I don’t have anything else to do rn so sure, let's play

A smile appeared on Lily’s face as she was happy that someone had finally replied to her after so many failures. However, doubt was clearly felt as a part of her really wanted to start chatting with the person on the other side of the screen and the other part was planning to sleep. Fuck it, she thought. She was starting work a bit later than usual as it was Wednesday tomorrow so she quickly opened the text and started typing back.

**********

Omgg finally someone answered😭

I’m so happy rn

Anyways

My 1st question is a very important one

What’s your favourite season?

Oh that’s an easy one

Fall for sure

Kind of a bummer spring has barely started

The vibe has been passed

Really?

Yeah absolutely

Fall is my favourite as well like just not too hot, not too cold

Just the atmosphere in like october/november is so cool

I totally get what you mean, my brother LOVES fall

He’s a huge halloween/pumpkin fan

Oooh sharing personal info with a stranger

Your mom didn’t teach you well haha

???

You’re the one texting strangers in the evening

I’m only joking dw

I’m sure your mom is great

She’s the best actually

Follow up question as we came on the family topic

Do you have any siblings?

I’m an only child unfortunately :((

But my best friend has been in my life for like 8 years

So she’s the sister i’ve never had ig

That’s so cool when friends end up feeling like they’re family

Such an awesome bond

Exactly, best feeling in the world

I wouldn't trade her for anything else

(maybe a 1d reunion but i can’t go without her tbh)

Ig you have siblings as well?

More than the halloween fan brother?

I have 3

Quite a big family but they’re amazing

Wow that’s a lot of guys in the same house

Wait idek your gender

If that’s ok to ask

Is that your 2nd question? 🤨 But ofc it’s ok, no problem I am a guy, you guessed right

Yay i’m so good at this

Just my instincts of like ‘i do not want to think ab you being a poor girl alone w 3 brothers’ lol

And i am a girl btw

If you were gonna ask

I was yes, you saved me from writing another text

As if writing to me is annoying

I’m a pleasure to talk to

According to my teachers 10 years ago

10 years ago?

I hope you’re not some like 35yo woman who finished school that long ago

I mean you did say ‘girl’ so i would say you’re maybe a teenager?

I’ll take that as YOUR 2nd question

I’m not a teenager anymore unfortunately

Fucking adulthood has started recently

I’m 19 but 20 soon

Same

Just people with the mind of teenagers having to act like adults so suddenly

Took the words out of my mouth

It was to be expected but like so unexpected at the same time bc you never know time is passing that quickly

Yeah… let's just go back on more light-hearted topics

Too soon for deep ones like life, time and growing up

100% agree

We're getting to know each other

Since you're an adult, do you have like any piercings or tattoos??

Hmm i have my ears pierced and one arm tattooed

That is sooo cool like patchwork or a themed full sleeve?

Kind of both bc they're related to the same thing i would say

Which is my family

But the styles can be a bit different

You have any?

Tattoos no, unfortunately😔

I want one so bad but it's hard getting prepared to have it permanently on your skin

Bc like i have several piercings

8 on my ears as well as a nose ring

But i can remove them whenever i want and bam they're gone in a few weeks

Piercings are actually so cool

And you match with my brother btw (the halloween one)

He has a nose ring too plus a stud

Omggg

I feel like this brother of yours is gonna be my favourite

He’s great, you could like him and he probably would like you too

Real question is do YOU like me?

Technically it’s my turn to ask a question but the one i have will decide my answer to yours

‘Technically’☝🏻🤓

Sorry go ahead

Are you a dog or cat person?

This is very important so reply carefully

I feel like you’re not gonna like what i have to say

Bc seeing as you put dog first

I’m going to say that you’re a dog person

Which i’m not…

Well

It was a pleasure talking to you

Farewell stranger

Wait what

Bro

read

Wtf

read

I’m not apologising tbh

Bc i love my cat with my whole heart

He’s the best

I hope you were joking bc our convo was fun

Delivered

Anyways, bye then-

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story ;)

The story is co written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

#chris sturniolo #chris #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #matt #nick sturniolo #nick stuniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo

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t-the-ring-master · 3 months ago

Text

Funny things that happened to me, my sister, and our best friend in “Escape the backrooms.”

Literally just stuff we did and said while playing. We still are working through it and are on some kind of level on the hotel I think. We hate the dogs.

Okay keywords/names.

Me T: Sword

My sister C: Coco

Our best friend(we’ll call her A I guess): Corgi

Contains spoilers to the game probably.

Level 0: looking for the latter. We all spawn in different places and are using proximity can’t.

Sword: Marco! Marco! MARCO LOSERS!

Corgi: I got the latter!

Sword: *screams bloody murder.*

Level 0: crossing the holed floor to get to the vent. Both Corgi and Coco fell.

Sword: I’m making it.

Coco: she’s not gonna make it.

Sword: I’m making it!

Corgi: she might actually make it.

Sword: I made it! *falls the very second I get there.*

Corgi: she didn’t make it.

Sword: *screams in Spanish because English just didn’t feel right to convey my rage.*

Level 2 (the parking garage): the three girls try to make it past a skin stealer

Coco: there’s a skin stealer.

Corgi: *completely ignores her and gets killed.*

Sword: welp… at least we know what they do now.

Level 2: Skin stealer tries to hit up a couple of girls after murdering their friend/sister

Sword: *sees Coco get killed*

Corgi: I think Coco got killed.

Sword: yeah I saw it

Skin stealer: hey!

Sword: no.

Skin stealer: *literally goes to the window Corgi is watching from* hey.

Corgi: no.

Level 3(?): another version of the parking garage but you need to find a random door to get to the next level. The three girls are in a small room talking and trying to figure out what to do.

Corgi: okay, so one of us needs to go out.

Coco: *is glitched out and watching through the door* yeah he’s gone so we should be good.

Sword: I’ll run and lead him off.

Corgi: *Opens the door and the skin stealer is right there.*

Skin stealer: *Kills everyone and leaves Coco alive. Whom is still standing surrounded by Corgi and Sword’s dead bodies and not even crouching.*

Coco: OH MY GOD!

Skin stealer: *looks her dead in the eyes* hey. *Runs out.*

Coco: wow.

Sword: *in the chat* My man needs to learn how to pick up girls better, because this ain’t it.

Lost track of levels but the one where there’s generators and the weird dogs are there: the girls are on the final three generators.

Coco: *is already dead and is looking at a map for Sword and corgi.*

Corgi: okay, I’m good with the flash light! As long as I don’t die we should be good!

Sword: cool, watch out for the-

Corgi: *walks into the electrified water.*

Sword:…. So about the “as long as I don’t die-“

Still in the dog level (this level took us about 4 weeks to finish oh my god we hated it.): Coco is dead, Corgi and sword finally got the final generator and have to make their way back to the main gate.

Corgi: Final room! We’re gonna make it!

Sword: awesome, just don’t die on me. Keep your flash light on the dog so I can get through the door and lead you-

Corgi: *messes up and gets killed.*

Sword: CORGI! *Starts panicking and somehow manages to get to the main gate after closing the door.*

Sword: I HATE BACKROOMS!

(I managed to make it, I had no clue if more dogs would come so I just sprinted screaming and freaking out -partly in Spanish- because I was now by myself. Did not forgive A for that for a while lol.)

That’s all I can remember for right now. I’ll probably write a little burb about this sometime also more stuff we did/said. We are finally a little ahead in the game but the level we are on got both dogs and skin stealers so we all avoiding like the plague at the moment. I might even do a lethal company for what might happen if the 3 of us played it. (We all want it but don’t got that gamer money and spent it on backrooms 😔)

You all might get some other blurbs of us when we play other games as well, because it’s always chaos. Anyways, bye my darling readers! I gave up on level numbers so fast 💀.

#not my best work #gaming #escape the backrooms #the backrooms #blurb #meme #quotes #chaotic trio #OC?#Skin stealer backrooms #backroom dogs #backrooms level #funny stuff #the skinstealers really liked hitting on us for some reason #they really liked C for some reason #we always make C go try and rizz them up

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unavailableapple · 2 days ago

Note

for that radfem ask meme thingy u reblogged, number 1, 3, 4, and 8 ^_^

(also just wanna say I love ur blog)

Thank you!!

I think I’ve already addressed 3? It should be in another post somewhere but you might have to scroll a bit, sorry about that :’) my blog is a tad cluttered. I need tags to separate things.

Anyway content warning because I’m going to be discussing sexual assault and harassment in all of these answers.

1 is leftist men. Haha oh wow I have a lot but I can’t even put all my thoughts into words. The funniest part about leftist men is that they’re all lying. Every single one. It takes at most three hang out sessions with a “feminist” leftist guy for him to start talking about how evil the Barbie movie is because it’s misandrist, how all his exes were fucking crazyyyy, and how he can’t stand radical feminists. Okay so you’re a misogynist like every other man? Wow how counter-culture!

Over the summer I became friends with a man (mistake number one) who had similar interests to me and I was very excited to be friends. I don’t have many friends with these specific interests because they’re very niche and very masculine. I was so happy to be friends with this guy who showed no romantic or sexual interest in me finally. Frankly it would’ve been weird if he did show those interests considering he’s 26 years old and I was 19 at the time, which is a hell of an age gap. Best part? He was a HUGE leftist. He campaigned for Kamala Harris and had a ton of stickers on his computer about reproductive rights and the like. So I thought he was safe (mistake number two). After hanging out for a few weeks he invited me back to his house to play with his dog. And I accepted (mistake number three). I don’t think I need to finish the story. 🤷‍♀️

4 is trans-identified males. I have a lot of stories. I think I’ve already talked about the time a man stole my cultural name because I wouldn’t have sex with him (yes this ACTUALLY happened). Here’s another story. When I was thirteen years old and identified as a heterosexual trans man (LOL) I joined a book group for transgender adults. I had lied to my parents so they would let me go. Anyway the only person who showed up was a trans-identified male in an adult dress that was bright pink and frilly. He repeatedly “misgendered” me (called me female and she/her). He took extreme delight in saying “us girls.” He repeatedly moved closer to me and touched my thigh. He asked me to come back to his apartment but I said my mom was waiting for me in the car (true). Keep in mind I was freshly 13 years old. He was in his mid forties and a teacher. This was SEVEN YEARS AGO.

I left and told my girlfriend at the time (who was also a trans man) said I was transphobic. She said if I didn’t want to be misgendered I should make more of an effort to ‘pass’ (I had to stop binding my chest because I was using tape and had injured myself pretty badly already). I said that I still called this man she/her pronouns despite him having a beard and my girlfriend said, “That isn’t the same. It’s harder for trans women to pass.”

I was thirteen years old. Goddamn.

8 is the ‘sex work’ industry. I think I’ve already talked about this but I used to be an underage cam girl when I was homeless (for the first time). I did other things as well but I was never an actual prostitute so I do not purport to have that experience. I engaged in this behavior between the ages of around 11-13 until I was able to return to my home.

Recently in class we were discussing the way that prostitution affects women in impoverished countries. I used the term “victim of prostitution” and was IMMEDIATELY “corrected” to the term sex worker! I replied, “As a previous underage quote-unquote sex worker, I find the term sex worker to be extremely capitalistic and dehumanizing so I’d prefer not to use it.” The SILENCE that came over the room, damn! I do not usually like to talk about my personal history with people I don’t know very well (actually…no one in my real life knows about my past with these things, not even my mother, because it feels so shameful and embarrassing). But that just came out of my mouth. They have not “corrected” me since.

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audioaujom · 1 year ago

Text

Sam and Sebastian Have a Sleepover

Stardew Hub, < prev, next >

I write a lot of whump. Like a lot a lot. If I'm not writing whump, I'm writing angst. So this week I thought I'd flex my rather unused fluff skills to give everybody a break.

Just for this week, though. ((:

Word Count: 2875

It took five buzzes of the phone next to him for Sebastian to snap out of his heavily-focused work-induced daze.

Annoyed by the interruption since he was on a time crunch—Sam was coming over soon to spend the night—he spared a glance at his phone, halting his work immediately as he realized it was a flood of messages from Sam.

————————————

From: Sam Hey! I’m almost up the mountain!

I HAVE ARRIVED !!

Um… Dude?

Can you come let me in??

Cool guess I’ll just freeze my balls off out here lol

To: Sam SORRY

coming

————————————

Leaving his phone open on the messaging app and his line of code half-finished, Sebastian bolted up the basement steps and into the living room to throw the front door open in a breathless panic.

“Finally. Thought I was gonna die out here.” Sam greeted with a grin, his face flushing red from the cold wind that stung his face above the wrapped scarf around his neck.

“Sorry, man. I got caught up trying to finish some work so we could just relax all night.” Sebastian apologized, quickly moving out of the way and motioning his friend inside. “Come on in.”

Sam grinned knowingly at his sheepish friend, toeing off his heavy snow boots and working on unwrapping himself from all his winter gear when Robin poked her head into the room.

“Hey, Sam. Hot chocolate?” She offered as soon as he was free of his outerwear, holding a plain mug out towards him. “Should warm you up from walking here in the cold.”

“Sure!” Sam immediately took the warm cup and took a small sip, wincing from the heat but giving her a wide smile anyway. “Thanks, Robin.”

Robin’s other hand held another mug, which she offered to her son. “I made one for you too, Sebby.”

“Thanks.” Sebastian took the mug and held it in both of his hands, relishing in the heat.

Both cups accepted, Robin smiled happily before offering, “If you end up watching something before I head off to bed, I can make you some popcorn.”

“We’ll let you know.”

“It's no problem.” She beamed, planting a soft kiss on the side of Sebastian’s head before teasing, “Anything for my boys.”

“Mom.” Sebastian felt his face heat up in embarrassment, awkwardly shooing her back towards the kitchen.

“Sorry, sorry. You know I just love to dote.” Laughing, Robin affectionately ruffled his hair before disappearing back the way she came. “Go have fun.”

The two boys and their matching mugs of hot chocolate trudged down the basement steps together wordlessly, Sebastian quickly heading for his desk as Sam glanced around the slightly messy room.

“Wow. Am I such a frequent guest you don't feel the need to clean up for me anymore?” The tease was light as Sam picked up a shirt discarded on the floor, Sebastian huffing as he sat down and placed his mug a decent distance away from his keyboard in case he bumped it.

“Shut up, Sam.” He shot his friend a tame glare as Sam tossed the shirt into a nearby laundry basket, explaining again, “I was just busy with work today, and I guess I lost track of time.”

“You say that like I mind.” Sam rolled his eyes, pulling his phone out and plopping onto the nearby couch. “Finish up your stuff. I know how important all that is; I can wait a few more minutes since I get your full attention after.”

“Thanks. I won't be long.”

Sam patiently scrolled through his phone while Sebastian finished what he was working on, only looking up when Sebastian spoke again several minutes later.

“Hey, before I turn this thing off for the night… wanna play something?” Sebastian offered, tipping his chair back before rocking it forward again. Sam instantly lit up, Sebastian frowning as he figured out what the hopeful look on Sam’s face meant. “No. Not again.”

“C’mon…! Please?” Sam begged, giving Sebastian the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.

“We’re adults, Sam! Adults don't play Fireboy and Watergirl after work!”

Sebastian’s protest hung in the air for only a few minutes, ending when the man reluctantly opened coolmathgames and Sam dragged a stool over to join him.

Sebastian's feigned annoyance quickly died, the two losing track of time as they sat shoulder to shoulder and peacefully played level after level together of the nostalgic game.

Well, not peacefully.

“No! Come on! We’re so close!!” Sebastian shrieked, Sam unable to contain his laughter as the two were mere seconds away from completing the level.

“I thought you didn't want to play this game, Seb.” Sam teased between his giggles, Sebastian entirely unamused.

“If we don’t get the green gem for this level because of you, I'm throwing you back out in the snow.”

“Harsh.” Sam shook his head, stepping in front of the door and letting the level end to show they successfully completed all three requirements for the level to turn green. He leaned back and stretched a little, admitting, “Alright, I think I’m ready to throw in the towel.”

“Yeah, cause you suck.” Sebastian teased, shutting the browser and powering down his computer.

“I do not!” Sam instantly protested, before the explosion died down to sheepishness. “I just… don’t always time my jumps the best.”

“Nor do you cooperate well.” Sebastian added on, nodding thoughtfully.

“That’s all your fault! You need to learn to communicate better!”

Sebastian stopped mid-motion of reaching for his cup to deadpan, “What part of ‘don’t touch the pulley I’m pushing this box onto it’ was unclear?”

Sam paused, looking anywhere but at his friend’s face. “If I go ask Robin to make us popcorn will you forgive me?”

“Maybe.”

“If I ask for popcorn and also help you build a pillow fort?” Sam tried again, Sebastian’s frown slowly creasing into a smile.

“...we can start with the cushions from the couch.”

“SUCCESS!” Sam cheered, jumping up from his seat and grabbing his own half-full abandoned mug of hot chocolate and taking a tentative sip of the now lukewarm drink. “Wow, this stuff really only is good warm. They don’t call it cold chocolate for a reason.”

“Are you complaining about having a glass of chocolate milk?” Sebastian asked, both eyebrows raised.

“Lukewarm chocolate milk.” Sam corrected, earning an eye roll.

“That does sound pretty gross.” Sebastian admitted, before picking up his own mug that still had some liquid in it and taking a sip. “Oh, it is gross!”

“Why would you try it? I said it wasn’t good!” Setting his mug on the coffee table, Sam couldn't help but laugh at Sebastian's sour expression.

“I was curious!” Sebastian's defense was met only with more laughter, him grabbing both now discarded mugs and heading for the door. “I’ll go get some blankets from upstairs and tell mom we’d like some snacks.”

“You’re the best. I’ll have this foundation all set and stable by the time you’re back!”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as Sam fumbled with the cushions, trying to get them to sit up on their own. He quickly disappeared up the steps, running into Robin on his way to the closet where they kept all the spare linens after setting their mugs in the sink.

“Movie time?” She asked, leaning against the wall beside the closet.

“Hopefully.” Sebastian nodded, loading one arm up with blankets. “I’m just getting some more blankets to finish up the fort Sam started.”

“I’m sure it’ll be a feat of construction that would make me proud.” Robin teased, crossing her arms. “You get your work all done?”

“Just in time.” He nodded, adjusting his grip to better hold onto the unruly pile in his arms. “I’ll have a few days off after this, for once.”

“Good. You deserve the break.” She smiled, patting him on the shoulder before swiping the closet door closed so he wouldn't have to. “I’ll bring the popcorn down when it’s ready. Go finish the fort, Sebby.”

“Thanks, mom.” Sebastian smiled at her over the blanket pile. “For everything.”

“Of course. Love you.” Robin smiled back, before gently pushing him back towards the basement. “Now hurry before Sam gets crushed under the weight of those cushions trying to build by himself.”

“Got it.” Sebastian gave her a half-hearted salute around the pile in his arms, disappearing down the basement steps again as Sam greeted him with the sorry sight of collapsed cushions and haphazardly piled pillows.

It took a while, the two bickering constantly about where to place things—and at one point dissolving into a pillow fight that completely destroyed any progress they’d made—until they eventually managed to get the couch cushions balanced into a little shelter, the interior decorated with several layers of blankets and pillows, one final blanket stretched over the top to shield the lights that they’d dimmed at one point during the fighting.

“Okay. Movie time.” Sam cheered as they settled in, the bowl of hot popcorn Robin delivered set between their legs. He then dug in his pockets to pull out a quarter, grinning as he said decidedly, “Heads it’s a comedy, tails it’s a romance.”

“How about we don’t flip the coin and pick an action movie.” Sebastian suggested, picking up a stray piece of popcorn and popping it into his mouth.

“Boring. What about we do both with a romcom?” Sam countered, Sebastian giving him a blank look.

“Not after last time.”

“Little Italy is a cinematic masterpiece—” Sam started as seriously as he could muster, devolving into giggles as Sebastian angrily cut him off.

“You were cackling through the whole thing! And you’re smirking now cause you know you’re full of shit!” He shoved his friend lightly, no real heat behind his words. “You wanted to watch that to torture me!”

“At least I didn’t pick a Hallmark movie!” Sam’s defense was weak, Sebastian snatching the remote from where it lay in front of them.

“Just for that we’re watching a horror movie.” He declared aloud, starting to browse through his streaming apps. “That new psychological one should be streaming, right?”

“No!” Sam instantly whined, throwing himself on top of Sebastian who dutifully held the remote up and out of his reach while they both tried not to topple the fort. “Give me that!”

“No way! I didn’t sign up to watch a fluffy romance and definitely not one where everyone wants to feel up Hayden Christensen!”

“Okay, but we can’t watch one of your super spooky horror ones!” Sam said with a pout, rolling over to stare up at Sebastian from his lap. “I can do one of the more tame ones!”

“Okay, okay! I won’t pick anything too scary.” Sebastian finally relented, before spinning the remote in his hands and smirking as Sam sat back up. “Maybe.”

“Seb!”

After endlessly scrolling through all the streaming services they could find, Sebastian eventually got Sam to settle on an odd looking thriller titled ‘Bad Samaritan’.

It took less than an hour for Sebastian to finally give up, turning to Sam and admitting, “Alright, I’ve lost it.”

“Really?” Sam asked, before letting out a thankful breath. “Thank god, me too.”

“I picked it cause it looked decent and was free with Prime, but…” Sebastian shook his head, using the remote to turn the volume down on the TV. “The serial killer is just fucking with this guy. It’s not even scary.”

“The scariest part of the movie is David Tennant’s American accent.” Sam commented, Sebastian snorting and smacking his arm.

“Oh, shush. I bet it’ll make for good background noise, though.”

Sam tilted his head to the side, confused. “Background noise? For what?”

“How are things going with your dad being home?” Sebastian asked seriously after a moment, turning to face his friend fully.

“Oh.” Sam’s lighthearted expression dropped, awkwardly scratching at his arm and staring down at the blanket half-covering them both to play with the hem. “I mean, it’s alright. Vince’s thrilled to have him home, but… it’s not really the same.” He laughed a little, but it was strained. “Partially ‘cause he’s been gone so long, but he’s also… different. I know war’s not easy, so I know it’s going to take some adjusting from all of us, but…”

“Well if things get too different, you can always crash here.” Sebastian offered, his friend finally looking up at him as he smiled gently. “I’ll make Maru clear her gadgets out of the guest room just for you.”

“Implying I wouldn’t rather sleep on your couch.” Sam scoffed jokingly, leaning back against the fort wall behind him. “These cushions are cozy.”

“Yeah, but more than a night will kill your back.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, before making eye contact with Sam and firmly stating, “I’m serious, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam smiled, taking his own self-assurance as an end to the topic. “If things were less hectic at my place, I’d offer you a refuge from whatever weird tension there is with you and Demetrius.”

“It’s not tension.” Sebastian denied half-heartedly, looking up at the blanket stretched over their heads and the way the light flickered between the threads. “He just doesn’t like me all that much.”

“Isn’t he like… supposed to be your dad?”

“I mean, I guess. It’s not like I have any frame of reference for what he's supposed to be like.” The honest comment slipped from him before he realized what he said, turning his head to see the concerned look Sam was giving him. “I’m fine, though. I’ve got mom, and Maru’s started sticking up for me if he tries shit.” Sebastian tried to reassure, quickly changing the subject. “Right now I’m more worried about you and Vincent. And Jodi.”

“We’ll see. He hasn’t been home very long.” Sam shrugged, adjusting himself to sit up and sit cross legged, playing with his hands in his lap. “I know these things take time, and he hasn’t even been home for a year yet.”

“Sorry to bring it up if you don’t wanna talk about it.” Sebastian sighed, picking up the long-empty popcorn bowl and gently swirling the unpopped kernels left in the bottom. “I just worry about you, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam grabbed the edge of the bowl to stop him, drawing his attention away from it and to his words as he carefully started, “It’s nothing compared to what’s going on with Abby, though.”

Sebastian almost dropped the bowl in shock, confused. “What? What’s going on with her?”

“Pierre and Caroline apparently are sleeping in separate rooms right now.” Sam lowered his voice to a mock whisper even though they were alone, leaning in a little as he continued, “My mom was talking to Caroline during their weekly aerobics thing and she said that Pierre thinks she cheated on him and Abby isn’t his.”

“Oh damn.” Sebastian mumbled, setting the bowl down so one of his free hands could go up to pay with his bangs. “This really is a small town, huh?”

“One day we’ll move outta here.” Not quite answering, Sam let himself fall silent for a moment—the only noise the forgotten movie playing quietly in the background. “The three of us will hit it big with the band and move to Zuzu City and finally live somewhere normal.”

“Yeah.” Sebastian nodded, before a small smirk started to creep onto his face. “Though normal might be hard.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You really want to give up the mine full of monsters?” Sebastian asked, Sam’s confusion slowly waning into amusement. “The strange creatures in the Community Center? The wizard who lives outside of town and the strange woman on that new island the farmer discovered?”

“Okay, fair enough. I don’t dislike the weird.” Sam conceded, laughing softly. “It just might be a nice change of pace.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind it either.” Sebastian admitted, before glancing up at the TV and watching the unfolding scene in bemusement. “Alright, I think the 10th doctor just tried to blow up Klaus from the Umbrella Academy. Do you wanna watch something else?”

“Yes please.” Sam agreed instantly, hopefully suggesting, “Up?”

Sebastian sighed, turning annoyed yet fond eyes to his friend beside him. “Again?”

“Please?” Sam begged, eyes wide and pleading as Sebastian tried his hardest to resist.

“No, no way.”

His protests were all in vain, Sam snatching the remote from him to open the familiar animated movie. He made no move to stop his friend, instead snuggling further into the fort and letting himself start to drift off to sleep as the opening credits rolled.

Early the next morning, the door to the basement slowly opened as Robin poked her head inside to check on the boys.

The dim light from the TV that was still on lit up Sam and Sebastian’s sleeping faces, the screen still open on Up’s details and Sam’s head on Sebastian's shoulder. Robin creeped over to the fort the two were encased in, fondly smiling as she tugged the blanket they had draped over them up to cover them a little better.

“Of course they fell asleep while watching.” She teased aloud, quiet enough to not wake either of them as she then turned and snuck back out of the room. “My boys.”

#stardew #stardew fanfic #stardew valley #fanfiction #fanfic #cross posted on ao3 #writing #fluff #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv robin

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