#wow this post took me like 4 hours to write on and off wtf

[saitou-shuka]

hello shukamod this is embarrassing but what is a UO that you and other people that watch the live is talking about?

Nononono it’s totally fine! I’ve found that it’s actually really hard to learn about this stuff unless you’ve actually been to a live concert or viewing. Which… as some of you may know from experience, is excruciatingly difficult if you’re an overseas fan (꒪⌓꒪)

The short answer: UO stands for “Ultra Orange”, and is a chemical glowstick that glows bright orange, often only for a couple of minutes before it burns out. Because of how short-lived they are, people usually save them for their favorite songs at concerts.

The long answer: I’m gonna talk about glowsticks under the cut! Yayyy :DSkip to the Cyalume section for the full explanation on UOs :)

Disclaimer: I’m pretty new to all of this too, so any of you more experienced eventers please don’t hesitate to correct me if I say something inaccurate. Thanks!

Glowsticks are a staple of anisong and idol concerts, where audience participation is super important. The audience section is dark during concerts, and waving around glowsticks helps the performers know that you’re enjoying the show!

There are two types of glowsticks: battery-powered penlights and cyalumes.

Penlights

Pictured: @dyreatic​​‘s impressive penlight collection :^)

These are battery-powered LED glowsticks. Many of them can change color with the click of a button. It’s pretty much a plastic tube mounted onto a handle with buttons. You can almost always unscrew the tube off, and then the handle is basically a multi-colored flashlight. Most of them also come with wrist straps, so that the penlight doesn’t come flying out of your sweaty hands at a concert. The brightness and colors will die as the batteries drain, so I always recommend packing some fresh batteries for concerts.

If you’ve ever watched a live (whether in-person or not), you’ve probably seen plenty of these. I’ll cover some of the more known brands from the perspective of a Love Liver.

King Blade

Overview:Price: $30-35 USD, 4500yen (official Love Live! Blades, firsthand)Batteries: AAA x3Buttons: 2, on the bottom of the handle (Forward/Backward)Strengths: Custom colors

One of the most popular brands of penlight. The newest version (x10iii) comes with an app that allows you to tune the penlight to have whatever color palette you want (e.g. you can make specialized blades with the colors for μ’s, Aqours, or whatever you favorite group is!)

Most of the official Love Live! penlights are King Blades. They’re often colloquially referred to as “kbs” or “blades”. The King Blade is so common (at least in the Love Live! community) that sometimes you’ll hear people use the word “kb” as an umbrella term for all penlights.

Pictured: The official Aqours Blades for 1st and 2nd Live.

King Blades are in stock on Amazon with free shipping!King Blade x10iii Shining - $31 USDKing Blade x10iii Smoke - $31 USD

The Smoke version has a matte cover over the penlight tube, while the Shining version has a glittery cover. In my experience I’ve found that most people prefer the Shining version.

Lumiace

Overview:Price: $25 USDBatteries: AAA x3Buttons: 3, on the side of the handle (Left/Confirm/Right)Strengths: Cheaper than KB, 24 colors

Another good penlight brand, and a somewhat cheaper alternative at $25 USD vs. the King Blade’s $30-35. The default color palette on the latest version, Lumiace 2 Omega (abbreviated L2O) is 24 colors rather than the King Blade’s 15 colors. However, the L2O cannot be programmed to have a custom palette like the King Blade x10iii.

The official Aqours in Los Angeles penlight from Anime Expo 2017 was a Lumiace 2, and comes with the nine official Aqours image colors rather than the Lumiace default palette. As far as I know, this is the only official Love Live! penlight that isn’t a King Blade.

Lumiaces are also in stock on Amazon with free shipping!Lumiace 2 Omega Sparkling - $25 USDLumiace 2 Omega Matte - $25 USD

The two different styles are the same as the King Blade ones — the former has a glittery tube, while the latter has a matte tube.

PENLa

Overview:Price: ￥2500-3000 without shippingBatteries: AAA x4Buttons: A switch on the side of the handle (very easy to flip by accident)Strengths: Very bright but don’t die like chemical lights

A slightly different type of penlight. PENLas don’t actually change color, but they have three different brightness settings. The first brightness setting is about as bright as your King Blade or Lumiace at full battery. The second and third are much, much brighter. The primary advantage of PENLas is that they are just as bright as chemical glowsticks (covered later), but they are reusable.

They are suuuuper bright. My eyes.

A fan compares a PENLa UO to a KB x10ii. Jeez they are bright.

PENLas come in three tube sizes (S, M, L), but I recommend the S because same brightness + smaller tube = brighter penlight :)

Unlike KBs and Lumiaces, they also come with a small bag. I’ve heard complaints that the wrist strap that comes with PENLas isn’t as secure.

You can buy PENLas from Amazon JP with DHL shipping!PENLa Orange (S) - 2970yenPENLa Blue (S) - 2563yenPENLa Green (S) - 2950yenPENLa Yellow (S) - 2970yen

Cyalumes

These are chemical glowsticks. You crack them to cause a chemical reaction that makes the glowstick… glow. And boy do they glow. They’re much brighter than penlights, but they only glow for a couple of minutes before dying. And they’re one-time use only, so they’re useless after that. By the way, cyalumes are also kind of fragile. Don’t drop them unless you want to crack them by accident and have them dead before you actually need them (꒪⌓꒪)

Cyalumes are almost always colloquially referred to as the abbreviated form of “Ultra [color]”, regardless of brand. Ultra Oranges are UOs, Ultra Blues are UBs, Ultra Greens are UGs, etc.

The UO in particular has chemicals that make it much brighter than any other color of cyalume, making it the most popular color by far (regardless of who your best girl might be!). They’re an irreplacable part of idol concerts. Because of how bright and short-lived they are, people will save UOs for special moments such as solos or the choruses of their favorite songs. They’re also smaller and thinner than penlights, so it’s easier to go crazy and hold like 8 of them at once.

Exhibit A: Honoka’s parents with a whopping 16 UOs total.

For even more hype, you can take two UOs and do a rapid cycling motion above your head. This is called “cycloning”. At concerts you will often see people cycloning during the chorus of fast-paced crowd favorites such as Strawberry Trapper or Thrilling・One Way. You can also cyclone using your kbs, but it’s more exciting if you use brighter glowsticks like UOs or PENLas. It’s also way easier to cyclone with UOs — if you try to cyclone with bulkier glowsticks like kbs without practice you’ll probably end up hitting them on each other.

Perhaps the most famous use for the UO is during Honoka’s solo in Snow Halation. At Final Live, everybody popped a UO. No kidding:

The whole dome was orange (இ⌓இ )

Other colors are less common because they’re not as bright. Even so, in recent years, more and more Love Livers are starting to use colors other than Orange. I’ve seen people cracking UBs for both Koi ni Naritai Aquarium and MIRAI TICKET, and I know at least a couple of others who are considering UGs for HAPPY PARTY TRAIN.

How long do cyalumes last? A good rule of thumb is that the brighter they are, the more short-lived they are. The Lumica Daisenkou Kiwami Orange is one of the brightest brand of UOs available, and one stick lasts 2-3 minutes. Nice duration if you want to crack for a solo or chorus and have the UO last through the rest of the song before dying.

You can also buy standard Lumica Daisenkou Orange, which are not as bright as the Kiwamis (side note: kiwami means “extreme” lol), but last for 5 minutes instead. On the other hand, UBs are not much brighter than a KB at full battery, but they last for a good 15 minutes. In my experience, Kiwami UOs are always better than the normal UOs. The extra brightness is 500% worth it (•̀ ∀ •́)ﻭ ✧

You can either buy a box of 25 (left) or single glowsticks packaged separately (right).

The best brand of cyalume for buying in bulk (and trust me, you don’t want to buy just a single chemical glowstick. Especially if you’re importing from Japan.) is the Lumica Daisenkou. You can buy cyalumes in boxes of 25 from Amazon JP with Global Priority (DHL) shipping. Be warned: the shipping is not cheap. They’re also available on Amiami sometimes, but as of right now they’re sold out there. My personal recommendation is to always buy multiple boxes if you can afford it and just save the ones you didn’t get to use. Go to concerts with friends and split cyalume orders with them! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶

Overview:Price: ￥2400-2500 for a box of 25, without shippingBatteries: None! :DStrengths: very bright, very hype, less bulky than penlight

Lumica Daisenkou Kiwami Orange (2-3min duration) - 2400 yenLumica Daisenkou Orange (5min duration) - 2400 yenLumica Daisenkou Blue (15min duration) - 2500 yen“Daisenkou” on Amazon JP (for other colors)

If you live in the U.S., you can also order Lumica Daisenkous straight from Lumica USA via email: jason.lumicausa@gmail.com

Why buy cyalumes at all when PENLas exist? They’re short-lived, and don’t seem very cost-effective.

The way I see it, the point of having chemical glowsticks is to show both the performers and the people around you how excited you are for your absolute favorite songs. As a novice concert-goer I’ve found that I really enjoy cracking UOs (and UBs) in the heat of the moment and seeing other people get fired up cracking UOs for the songs they like best. They may not be very cost-effective, but at the end of the day, they truly enhance your concert experience.

shukamod recommends at least one penlight and a handful of Kiwami UOs for the first-time concert-goer! For best results, at least two penlights and a box of 25 UOs! If you’re like shukamod, then be sure to bring a box of 25 UBs as well o7

As always, thanks for reading (` ･-･´)ゞ

[torivikachu]

I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.

if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT

anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!

also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post

whoa, I am excited about it.

1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up

and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck

2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?

bro, your anxiety shows.

3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell

4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)

5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,

6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.

7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently

8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified

9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more

10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much

11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-

12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home

13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I

and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?

if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?

I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing

the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME

[sound-andcolor]

Get to know me tag

I got tagged by @aboyplaysguitar

1. Nickname: my parents used to call me “Katie Bug” when I was a kid, but I hated it lol. My friends have given me nicknames based on my full name but I don’t want to say my last name on here haha

2. Zodiac: Scorpio (I love reading about Scorpio. “You’re sexy and mysterious. Also manipulative” ummm not really but ok lol)

3. Height: 5’ 9” (I used to wish I was shorter but I just had to embrace it)

4. Last movie I watched: What We Do In the Shadows

5. Last google search: Blood Mountain (I’m hiking there tomorrow 😊)

6. Favourite artists: depends on my mood and it’s all over the place haha. For musical artists I love Beyoncé, Alabama Shakes (hence the url), Kishi Bashi, Fleet Foxes, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Aretha Franklin, Missy Elliot, Daniel Caesar, Queen (not an exhaustive list lol). Painters: Vincent van Gogh (cliché I know but his stuff is so beautiful), Caspar David Friedrich, Monet, Caravaggio. Sculptor: Bernini An artist of tumblr I really like is @henrybakerartwork his watercolor is amazing! I have to stop myself from reblogging all of his posts lol

7. Song currently stuck in my head: Just Fine by Mary J Blige (she was in The Umbrella Academy on Netflix so I decided to listen to her stuff again. Plus it’s A BANGER)

8. Other blog: I had one called @climb-isallweknow but I forgot the password so I just made this blog lol

9. Do I get asks: no hahaha I’d welcome them though!

10. Following: is this question asking how many people I’m following? If so, 100. On my other blog I followed a shit ton more blogs but I’m more picky now. I just want to see stuff I like in my dash 

11. How much do I sleep: on school nights typically 5-6 hours. When I have the next day off I get like 10 hours of sleep hahaha super healthy yeah

12. Lucky number: 2

13. What am I wearing: green plaid pjs and a maroon long sleeved t-shirt. Sexy I know

14. Dream job: Working in Rehab which I’m on my way :) I graduate from PTA school in 2020 babyyy. Not exactly sure which setting yet. I really liked working as an aide in acute care, but outpatient was also super interesting too. I might change my mind completely after I do a rotation at a SNF though. I like engaging with a variety of people though, especially the elderly ❤️

15. Dream trip: I’m just going to list some places- New Zealand (yes I want to go on a LOTR tour like a complete nerd but there are other reasons), Ireland/Scotland, Switzerland, South Korea, Peru, there are more but I’m tired of writing haha

16. Favourite food: ugh I can’t pick just one 😩 I love pasta and garlic bread, pizza, waffles, eggs and biscuits, chocolate (especially dark chocolate), quesadillas with a side of queso and guac wow I’m getting hungry I’ll stop 😛

17. Languages: I wish I was cool and could speak multiple languages, but no I’m only fluent in English. I am just horrible at learning languages. I took Spanish for four years and know the basics but I am definitely not fluent. My grandpa used to be able to speak 8 different languages! I did not inherent this trait lol

18. Random fact: I can make the noise that Pitbull/Cardi B make by vibrating my uvula. I just looked it up and it’s called a uvular trill. Most people I know can only do a “tongue-tip trill” (which I can’t do haha). I love showing new people bc they just look at me like “😯 wtf how the hell does she do that???”

19. Aesthetic: don’t have one lol this question is so vague

20. Create your own question: Oh man I’m bad at this uhhhh- What’s your favorite constellation? Orion ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alright I’ll pass this on to some people :)

@cosmic-disorder @alexisjustexisting @s-alem-saberhagens @theboredbiologist @mariechoupette

[zpetra]

GP Helsinki Journal - Day 4 & 5

So, I am finally getting to this as well, it has been a while now but sorting through my pictures took me longer than I wanted and life didn’t exactly stop after Helsinki XD Please excuse.

After an incredible and tiring Saturday, I woke up after a few hours of sleep. While I had a generous window between arrival at stay and leaving the next day the excitement didn’t let me sleep. I woke up at 7 a.m, got ready, grabbed some left over sandwiches for breakfast and left to the arena shortly after 8 a.m. Since the first men’s group took the ice at 9 a.m and Keiji was in the group I had to make sure I was there on time. Luckily the line (at least when I joined) in front of the Ice Hall was fairly okay. Grabbed some water once inside and took my seat, greeting all the Japanese ladies once they arrived.

DAY 4 - Sunday

Group 1 practice - Keiji Tanaka

While I am sad he was not in the top to be in Group 2, I was also happy because now I could concentrate on him, without any further distractions (Mr. Hanyu).

I really like this costume on Keiji, he looked like a fairy-tale prince and while his practice did look wobbly here and there, especially his 3A, I was worried for him but I was rooting for him because he is a good skater and deserves good scores. I filmed his run-through and took more photos of him, he is really handsome, I have to say, also the ladies next to me said the same. So there is that. XD

Group 2 - when the TCC family walks in

Nothing can describe the sound of shutters of cameras going off when Yuzuru walks in but today he did walk in with Jun and boy.... I had an existential crisis who to film or take pictures from. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS AMOUNT OF STRESS OKAY? I was so happy when I had both of them in frame XD

It was also incredible to watch how they navigate with the coaches, rarely did you see them standing by the boards or simply replaced each other once the other left and Brian and Ghislain had their attention on the current skater, not loosing a beat. Also I saw so much respect from Jun and Yuzu towards each other, making sure both get time to consult with their coaches, give them room on the ice. It reminded me of how Javi and Yuzu used to navigate around in the past. I had feels!!

At one point during the practice Jun choked on his water or spilled it and it ran down his chin, resulting in a giggle fest in our block, while my picture is blurry I can’t forget how embarrassed he looked and quickly made a run for it, I caught a glimpse of Brian holding back his own laughter. Jun is adorable, officially obsessed with him. Not like I wasn’t slightly biased towards him before but now, I am sold. SUPPORT THE BABE HE IS GOOD AND ADORABLE TOO!

I have to admit me filming Jun run-through was a disaster... I tried to film but also watch Yuzu and I may have lost Jun a few times, I don’t dare to re-watch the footage because WOW, I failed XD but I got a few nice shots of his jumps and I was overall happy with it, he looked good with a few mistakes and some butt-slides. I have pictures of some ice flakes on his booty, which he is trying to brush off. I APOLOGIZE. 

And than there is Yuzuru Hanyu. Just like the other days I was impressed, amazed and kept swooning. My view still couldn’t be quite beaten and god... I could write an essay of everything, it was overwhelming.

THE WAIST - that’s the comment, that is all I will say. It is ridiculous and every guy who sees it has to admit he looked good.

Filmed his free run-through again and it is scary how nearly identical it is to his actual program.

Watching Yuzu do his cool-down exercise is mesmerizing. Wow. I swear there is so much to see when he is on ice, he is so expressive both when he is disappointed with a jump, the ice conditions, really everything.

Men’s Free Skate Competition

Group 1

Oh boy, it was kind of heart-breaking as the guys were falling apart. Keiji fought hard but unfortunately... it didn’t look all too good for him to podium and my worry for Jun and Yuzu grew even more. Watching Keiji in the Kiss & Cry was so sad, I tried to be loud for him as much as possible because he FOUGHT. He did well!

Group 2

I never thought I would say this but it is INCREDIBLE AWKWARD TO WATCH HIS DEMONIC LIP SYNCING... Wow. I had second hand embarrassment but I am also a person who mouths along to music on public transportation so I could also relate. It was a weird feeling. Also Jun was so chill about it, he is probably over it, used to it. I was laughing so hard.

Mr. Hanyu came for murder while Jun looked like an adorable puppy and I was dying on the inside and outside.

BABY JUN DID SO WELL, HE DID SO WELL. I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM AND GIVEN HIS HIGHS SCORE I KNEW HE WOULD PODIUM; WHICH IN SO INCREDIBLE FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS BACK-TO-BACK GP ASSIGNMENTS ON DIFFERENT CONTINENTS!!! And it turned out he was having a cold and my respect and admiration flew out of the window! I regret not having had a plush for him, next time I will do better!

And soon it was going to be this guys turn... Origin hair *drools* I am sorry but living for it.

ORIGIN COSTUME IS LIFE! I swear to God, the pictures do not do it justice, they don’t but I am happy I got a fairly good costume reveal camera roll for myself - I posted it here  - BLING CITY

AND THAN MR. FUCKING HANYU SLAYED US ALL. I swear I was deaf for a moment, nor did I have voice afterwards. My fitness tracker yet again thought I was running, nope I was just that excited. I broke out in a sweat and was ready to take off my jacket because that Free was....

190.43 POINTS A NEW WORLD RECORD 297.12 COMBINED TOTAL ALSO A NEW WORLD RECORD

You do witness such incredible performances any day let alone in person. I was so damn happy I was close to tears. Followed by laughter because Yuzuru shook Pooh-san so hard in the K&C I thought he would lose his head. XD

I threw my pooh and managed to fling it into the general direction of the K&C and I hope I didn’t clonk the waiting coaches, have not seen footage so I guess I did alright? XD

I was ecstatic and so was everyone around me, the arena was shaking or at least it felt like so. Yuzuru Hanyu is incredible.

I felt a bid bad for Michal for skating after him because I felt the attention was not utterly on him but hey I was so happy I screamed for him like a madman, also he was AMAZING TOO. Group 2 slayed... aside from Boyang and Kolyada, those two had a bad day :(

THE VICTORY CEREMONY WAS SO CUTE! There is so much footage out there but it was adorable. Jun and Yuzu full on hug? Axel-ing onto the podium? Podium selfie? Michal switching to Japan because he had no flag but than got one from a fan and the crowd was so happy for him! GHISLAIN DROP THE SELFIE. The fact Jun kept his SCI flag? The way Yuzu happily shook his shoulders before his name was called. 

YUZURU HANYU MAKING THE SUN JEALOUS WITH HIS SMILE. FIRST TIME HE WON HIS FIRST GP ASSIGNMENT SINCE HE GOT TO SENIORS WITH 3 WR ON TOP. BOY!!!

My cheeks were hurting and just... I have to repeat but it was incredible. Truly.

I was high on adrenaline and the Gala was meant to follow. 

WTF WAS THAT GALA? I WAS DYING. IT WAS SO GOOD. The performances, naked Italians, Gaming performance feat the Russian male skaters? KEIJI!

FUCKING KEIJI TURNING UP THE CHARM AND MAKING EVERYONE SWOON. I am happy he did his smirk on the other side of the Kiss & Cry because I felt it from the distance and looking at the footage, HIS SMIRK AFTER!. He knew what he was doing that little shit. If I hear that song now all I see his Keiji charming everyone. Wow.

Helsinki gala was the best I have seen this season and I am not saying it because I was there! 

It all came down to Haru Yo Koi....

I am usually not an emotional person who cries but 3 tunes in and I couldn’t see shit. Even now as I am recalling, it is such an incredible program, the softness, the elegance the meaning behind it all, his soft smiles. I didn’t intend to film but ended up taking my phone out and while miss like 20 seconds from the beginning I think I did a pretty good recording of it, for myself to enjoy. I was fighting the tears and some did fall, me not being the only one. HYK is just...beauty. It’s pure beauty. 

And than during the Finale...>.> He does a LGC slide in the a fairy costume, runs his hand through his hair turning up the charm like Keiji did... wow, I felt attacked. XD I guess we also can’t have now a finale where this sunshine doesn’t get lifted. BUT HE WASN’T JUST LIFTED BY ONE BUT TWO IN A FREAKING MERMAID POSITION! OMG. HE WAS LIVING THE BEST TIME OF HIS LIFE AND I WAS LIVING FOR THAT! 

After the Gala I was hurrying away, somehow catching the first tram because it was late and I had to wake a few hours later to catch my plane back home. I ended up being so high on the excitement, I barely managed to catch like 2,5 hours of sleep. T.T It was worth it and I would do it again.

DAY 5 - Monday

Queue me dragging my ass out of bed after like 2,5 hours of sleep to finish packing, double checking I didn’t leave anything behind and leave to the train station. First train to the Airport leaving at 4:18am. I was so happy I ended up taking the day free because fuck I was done. Bought myself water and coffee , ignoring the horrendous price I had to pay for it... and off I went.

Security check-in was chill which I appreciated a lot, got a few souvenirs, had expensive breakfast and more coffee. Boarding started 10min before scheduled departure... guess which plane didn’t leave on time? ON ANOTHER NOTE: Nobuaki Tanaka the sport photographer who shoots at FAOI (is responsible for a gorgeous Yuzu x Javi picture) was on my plane! I tried not to stare too much LOL. Full plane, landing late somewhere in the middle of no-where. Rolling around for ages, followed by a long bus ride... train waiting time taking ages... It was like 11am I was home and I was dead. I wouldn’t have been able to go to work afterwards. 

Conclusion - Final thoughts:

IT WAS THE BEST WEEKEND OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND BARELY ANYTHING WILL BE ABLE TO TOP THIS!!!!

I knew I will have an amazing time because I will see Yuzuru in person but I didn’t expect it all go down the way it did. Meeting so many lovely fans, the Japanese ladies giving International fans so many things, me too. Practicing my Japanese and happy it is actually any good. Watching Yuzu win his first GP assignment in a season, let alone 2 WR winning programs. Finding so many new amazing skaters I like now and want to support. It was truly amazing. Wort every single penny, lack of sleep, overflow of emotions. Best time.

Thank you to those who made it special, the members of our fangroup and people I have met in general. They all added to the experience. I know for sure that I will try to go to more events next season.

I guess all there is left to say... Until Europeans 2019 in Minsk. If anyone is going let me know! I am going to support Javi for his very last competition.

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well): 

[neverendingsunrise]

Wanna know how I feel?

“Depressed and all you want is human interaction, but your anxiety makes any socialization a burden/stress.”

How do I explain that my depression is the reason that no one wanted to be around me, but my depression is also the reason I wanted and desperately needed people around me?

Positive things I have grasped from the last 9 months: (wow it’s literally August already wtf)

My seasonal depression outbreak or whatever it was truly showed me who cares and understands that people need to go through shit to grow. & you can go through that life process without judgement and shit talking haha,

Many negative energies that were corrupting my aura are now out and unimportant,

I learned again that it is okay to lose friends because everything is temporary,

Time just keeps rolling on and the best time to something you want to do, do it right now!

Believe in yourself; I had so many people around me pushing me and telling me they believed in me but at the end of the day it didn’t matter because I had no self worth. I had to learn to believe in myself.

Levi and his mom are fucking awesome. Besides Ashley (sister) and Jameson (nephew) I really had no one to lean on. Levi kept me sane. True definition of partner. Financially and physically he kept me alive. He never made me feel bad about myself for being depressed and the way I was for months. He got on my ass to get a job once in a while and didn’t understand when I’d cry because I truly had no confidence... but never made me feel bad. Or unloved. Or not sexy... I even got a couple job interviews and have an anxiety attack and crash that opportunity, yet he kept believing in me. I kept the house clean and always took him to work. he is my ROCK,

Now after 4 months of being a home body and lazy af his mother Amanda got me hired on to an amazing job where I get to feel like a scientist :), at 14.25 an hour, 60 + hours a week and I am working my ass off but loving every second of it. It’s cool to have my mom in law pretty much as my boss. Night shift is chill and no customers. I just play my music and work. I love it. And I’ll never be able to thank her enough for saving the financial aspect of my life because I was clueless. My paychecks are awesome and life still get stressful. But this job has really helped every aspect of my life. I feel happier, I get to treat my boyfriend, and pay bills! Ha ha

Of course there is still the spouts depression but it normally only comes for a day or a week. and anxiety all the time but I’ve been able to cope with it and learn when it’s going to happen!!!

Write on post it notes!!!!! <<< I swear on this like the Bible, at work we have to keep track of everything so post it notes are essential. ***Write it down and you are 42% more likely do it or remember it.*** I learned that from Spotify haha, This has helped with Levi remembering to help me with chores or simple notes on the fridge, or communication when I didn’t have a phone. Post. It. Notes.

Buy a UV Ray lamp thing for winter because the sun is helping so much, and it’s already going to be fall & dark & cold before you know it :(

If you don’t like something, speak up. Communicate politely.

Talk about the little things because the little things will eventually build up until you explode. They are truly significant. I need to talk about my feelings more and process/understand them.

Make goals! I’ve began to have realistic and pipe dream goals. Daily goals, monthly goals. #1 save and make money, getting a new place within the next 3 months if all goes well (Levi has poison ivy right now so no work but I got this ;)), after that save for a new car, next become sober with exceptions of thc and cbd, and after becoming sober id like to try and conceive a child,

Rational goals but good ones and positive ones. Sometimes it’s simply get through the work day. But it’s a goal. And keeps me moving forward.

Family is amazing, spend more time with your family, whomever they are. I missed mine so dearly. I realized no matter what I did they’d still love me for me.

-Everyone’s version of life is different. Everyone’s drive and ambition is different. Find those who share the same drive or will encourage you from the side lines.

I am going to create my own dream “life” on this spinning ball of mass. Despite what others think, despite what life throws at me. Keep going. The universe is listening, and I AM GOING TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS AND DREAMS. ✨

[springbender-blog]

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

I was tagged to do this FMA-centered tag by both @greedoda and @ladywiltshire, thank you soooooooo much!!

I kinda don’t want to do this twice though, so I’m going to take my favorite 5 questions from each of yours and answer those - I hope that’s okay! There are also two questions you both had that were the same so I’ll do those too - a total of 12! You lucky nuggets.

Okay, so, the questions under a read more!.......I WROTE WAY TOO MUCH and there’s a lot of analysis....I got really really carried away. :B

Greedoda’s questions:

1. Which two characters do you think have the best dynamic in the series?

Personally, I have to say I love Ed and Ling’s dynamic? They make a great team and they’re such dorks! The couple of episodes where they’re stuck together in Gluttony’s stomach are two of my favorite episodes. As well as just, how they go from Ling pissing Ed off monumentally (I mean, he does set his “goons” and/or “lackeys” on Ed during their first meeting XD) to being just the closest bros, looking out for each other to the end (which I guess definitely includes Greed as well)! It’s a dynamic I wish we saw more of in the show, if I’m being totally honest. They’re two of my favorite characters, and all of their interactions were hysterical.

2. Would ed like milkshakes?

Actually I think it’s canon that he does!! During the episode where he’s trying to get Scar’s attention by going around and fixing things with alchemy, he’s shown afterwards drinking a milkshake with Al and laughing about how he’s “pretty sure everyone in Central knows his name by now”.

3. Favorite character development?

SCAR’S. OKAY??? SCAR’S. Don’t even get me started, holy shit. We, as the audience, start by thinking of him as just this cold blooded murderer, then we realize he’s Ishvalan, which gives him motive, but we still don’t particularly like him, you know? But that’s only in episode five! 

Throughout the whole show we learn more and more about him, we watch him falter for killing Ed when he throws himself in front of Winry, remembering his own brother doing that for him. We see him bring along Yoki, for apparently no reason at all?? Like, Yoki just runs after him and he could kill him, especially since Yoki caused him trouble! But, he doesn’t? And then May comes along and you can see him accepting her and starting to care about her and listening to her and making sure she’s safe. You see him fight alongside Ed and Al because he HAS to, You see him bring along Marcoh despite all the things Marcoh had done to his people - despite Marcoh begging him to kill him. You see how Winry’s binding of his wound (though not forgiving him) affects him because he doesn’t think he deserves it. You see how his attitude is changed further by Miles, until, by the end, he’s honestly one of Ed and Al’s strongest allies. He rallies a group of Ishvalans to help during the Promised Day. And then joins Miles in trying to reform Amestrian’s view of his culture - HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE SCAR I DON’T EVEN. !!!!???

4. Favorite villain?

Okay, I’m honestly not sure if Greed counts, so other than him, definitely Envy. I just love that good-for-nothing garbage lizard. *shaking head* They’re so complex!! I think a lot of has to do with their attitude - the sarcasm and condescending yet cheery tone of voice they always sport makes them oddly endearing and funny, despite how much a terrible person they are. And then to find out all of this hides tons of insecurities because they’re jealous of humans. They pretend to be so much and so powerful and unstoppable but they feel like the most inferior worm (and they are - literally). I just...yeah I love their character!

5. What fma merch do you want, or wish existed?

I REALLY WANT AN FMA BLANKET. Like, just something simple, like red with the main crest on it, or something. I know they exist! I also really want a poster!

And now for the Lady’s:

1. Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression? 

I remember the first time I ever saw it (not watched), I was passing my sister on our home computer. I distinctly remember seeing a young girl in pink with a lot of braids and a tiny panda bear making something glow like blue lighting (*choking noises*) and I asked my sister what it was and she said “Fullmetal Alchemist” and I was like “Oh” and brushed it off because she’d talked about it before but I wasn’t interested? (wtf was my problem??). But maybe a few months later my friend watched it and at that point I just had to. The hype was real when I finally started, and the hype was even bigger for Brotherhood. I remember being halfway through 03 and watching the first FMAB opening and just getting chills, I couldn’t wait to get to it, and boy did it live up to my expectations and more from episode one.

2. Tell me about a scene that really touched your or made you realize something about yourself.

My first thought is immediately the episode “Interlude Party”. I mean, I know that episode is pretty much just a summary of what’s happened so far, but the bits in between with Hohenheim talking to Pinako, to baby Trisha, to especially the part with Hohenheim getting overwhelmed by Father, who stands there laughing at the “puny foolish humans” who live only to die, so they may as well use them - and we can see the shadows of the dancing morphing and turning into something...else - followed by Trisha interrupting this train of thought by that’s what makes humans strong. The fact that we die. The fact that we change. And the fact that that’s what makes us so undefeatable, because we don’t give up. And this is followed up later with Envy being jealous of humans, because of this very same reason - our resilience and determination against all the forces against us, including ourselves. 

And I think that that’s so true. And that gives me strength to keep going.

3. Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go!

Okay this is definitely a tie. The first is the one where huge rumors sprout up about Ed after the Promised Day and everyone bombarding Fuhrer Mustang about all these far fetched things until Mustang finally says something like “Edward Elric is a 30-something-year-old-man living in Resembool teaching his daughter how to make apple pies” or something like that. The other is the one where Ed is in Xingese history books as “the man who fed the emperor a shoe”, for obvious reasons. That’s just. GREAT.

4. What spurred you to join the fandom?

Actually, it was totally on accident! There was a long, long part of me and my tumblr experience that believed FMAB was NOT my favorite anime. And then I started realizing, I posted a lot of it on my blog? Like, instead of random FMAB between the multifandom mash of cringe and zero tagging systems, it started to become FMA that I saw the most of on my dash and blog. And I realized, like someone had flicked me in the face, that wtf, this show is actually so important to me and where would I be without it??? 

5. Have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much!

AAAHHH everyone here is SO nice and I’ve managed to keep my dash (mostly) discourse free! Everyone is so supportive of each other and have the same passion as I do for this show. There are SO MANY talented artists, including musical artists, which is amazing, and SO MANY funny things and funny memes that come from this fandom. I’m honestly so glad I’m a part of it, even if I don’t contribute much myself other than screeching in my tags!

And here, the two you both asked!!

1. OTPs! Who are they? Edwin is top of the list!! I’ve shipped them all the way from the beginning, and to see them come together in canon - and in such a NERD WAY - I just love them so much. I also ship Lingfan, Almei, and Royai!

2. Favorite opening/ending number and why?

My favorite opening is Opening 3, Golden Time Lover, for a L O T of reasons. The way it goes from the soft melody in the background to the much harsher tones above just convey all my feelings for it, because this opening is both soft, and rough and to me it just perfectly conveys the stories’ struggle, and the journey forward. The elements of the zooming in and out, the sweeping camera angles, and the sudden changes in the action between teasingly slow and choppily fast. There is SO much contrast in this song, and in the animation to match it. Literally, this opening is a masterpiece and thinking about it makes my heart race.

My favorite ending is Ending 2, Let It All Out. GOD THIS SONG. Wow. It just, tears at my heartstrings a little. A lot. First of all the animation is stunning. Secondly, the lyrics are just, amazing. “There’s no need to pretend you’re so strong” and “Let’s turn our pain and tears into stars”??? Jesus christ, how lovely is that?! And how it changes from half screen to full screen with the climax of the chorus. The emphasis on Ling, Lan Fan, and Fu, and  then on May, as well as Ed and Al and Winry. The way it STARTS with Winry. It just symbolizes strength in such a simple way - through the fear of what living has done, what it could do, and still being able to move forward. It’s a very powerful song to me.

OKAY! And since that took me over an hour to answer (I regret nothing and thank you both so much for giving me the opportunity to gush without restraint...) I’m not going to tag anyone or make new questions myself. Frankly, I’m too tired and my imagination is spent. XD 

I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Thanks again! Love you all!

[anxiousheart4]

Looking for a Lifeline!

I know it's been a while since I’ve posted in my own words, in fact it's been almost a year, I’m sorry for that. I’ve always been terrible at keeping up with journaling, so why would I think blogging would be any different? Lol. 

If you haven’t noticed, I am a fan of TWLOHA and its message to everyone. I've always followed them, and they mean a great deal to me. So I hope in my absence, you’ve enjoyed the posts of theirs I've been sharing.  🙂

Anyways, I don’t have any really good excuse for while I haven’t posted for a long while  (well I do between Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, but not since then), and I even got a new laptop this year, that works SOOOO much better then my old, glitchy, slow ass one; so not having a computer can’t be my excuse. And I've had a lot of free time this Summer, so I can’t even say I was busy either. Basically no excuse, but I’m back; so lets catch up.

So, between Thanksgiving and Christmas I was working 4 jobs!

-Mon-Fri 8am-4pm at an office job that I hated.

-Sat & Sun at the Zoo taking kids photos with Santa

-And then Mon-Fri nights, I switched between working at my local GameStop, and helping at my other local Zoo taking Santa photos as well.

The office job I was working was doing bookkeeping at a nursing home. I met some nice residents there, and some mean ones. I met some nice co-workers, and some I didn’t quite get along with. There was 3 other girls in my office. 

One was extremely nice and helpful, and patient with trying to teach me, I got along with her quite well. I would actually have conversations with her, and it felt like she did want to get to know me. 

Another was the Boss’ wife, and she was nice and all, but also very intimidating, and she never made me feel welcomed; she would be having a conversation with the other 2 girls, but as soon as I tried to join the conversation it was like “we got to get back to work” and the conversation stopped. 

And the last girl, I would have thought I would have gotten along with her so well, we have the same taste in music and tv shows, I was like oh yay we can bond! NOPE! I did everything she gave me to do, and asked me to do and it was never good enough, or fast enough, or competent enough, or just enough. She made me feel like a complete failure! And unless she needed me for something, it was like I didn’t even exist! She would go out for lunch, and ask the other 2 girls in the office if they wanted her to bring back anything, and she never even looked my way and asked me once, never! Seriously the best days at work were when she didn’t come in for some reason or another.

Besides the one girl, no one else ever tried to make me feel welcomed in the office, I spent 6 months of my life feeling like an outcast at work, looking for a lifeline, just trying to survive. Apparently the girls in the office went out after work and hung out together, not like I was ever invited to join and get to know them. Instead I went to the movie theater next to work where a friend of mine was a manager and would stop in to see her or go see a movie all by myself. The only time I was ever invited out with them was when they would go to lunch for someones birthday, and still I think that was mostly because every one split the bill evenly except the birthday girl (which I do approve of), so it was a little less money for everyone else. Only the one girl made me feel like I was actually welcomed, otherwise I just listened to their conversations, cause no one seemed to wanna include me. And Surprise Surprise! They never did anything for my birthday! They do all this stuff for the employees birthdays, bring in breakfast, go out to lunch, decorate their office, etc. all I got was a generic card they did for everyone “Happy Birthday from ’The Companies Name’”.

I think one thing that can make even the worst job in the world bearable, is your co workers. I’ve had some terrible jobs, but I had some awesome co workers, so I didn’t dread going to work as much everyday because I got to see them. Safe to say, most of my coworkers there never made me feel like a coworker, a friend, or anything else. I went to work everyday dreading the next 8 hours of my life. When I got let go, I never even said good bye to any of the other people who worked I the building, I only said good bye to the nice one in my office and that’s it. So the ONLY things I liked about the job, was that I got to sit down to work, and the money, oh the money! I miss the money soo bad! But the job gave me SOOO much stress and anxiety, idk if it was worth the money. 😞

Although, I was able to buy my new computer, a MacBook Air, and I have wanted a MacBook since I was in high school, I just could never afford it.

My other jobs, were pretty good, only minor complaints. But I LOVED my coworkers at the other 3 jobs! The biggest complaint was that I had no time to myself because I was so busy.

Gamestop was cool, after only being there for a couple weeks they interviewed me for a supervisor position, they believed I was competent enough! The only reason I didn’t take it, was cause I got the office job, and I couldn’t turn down the money (though now I wish I hadn’t, it would have saved me soo much stress and anxiety). So I stayed seasonal, so when the holiday season was over, my employment was over there. 

The one Zoo I worked at during the week, I've worked at for years now, and I love it, and the guys who play Santa are sooo nice, I get some really nice guests, and 90% of the time everything goes smoothly, and I actually hang out with my coworkers outside of work! 

The other Zoo I worked at Sat & Sun was pretty much the same as the first Zoo, I love my co workers, and actually hang out with them outside of work. The big complaint about that Zoo, was the guy who played Santa. HE WAS AN ASSHOLE! He had an opinion on everything, and had a problem with how we run our business, and he wouldn’t even let the kids tell him what they wanted for Christmas. We told him we wanted to get a picture of the kids talking to him, and he would tell the kids to “look at him and PRETEND to tell him what they wanted” and then as soon as I took the photo, even if the kid was in the middle of something he would just kick the kid off his lap and move on to the next family. I’m sorry, but if I had kids, I would definitely NOT want them to go see that Santa! I don’t see how so many people line up to see him, and he’s been Santa at the Zoo for years! How has he not lost the Zoo business! But I still like my job, so I'm going back again this year! Lol

Anyways, so that was my holidays, as were coming up to another holiday, lol.

After the holidays, and my busy schedule, I went to Arizona and Mexico for 10 days, and it was AMAZING and relaxing, with only a few hiccups. Like an all inclusive resort without free wifi! What is that? I was gonna use wifi to check in with family back home, but that didn’t happen! And the the room was falling apart, and one of our rooms had bugs in it, and maids didn’t clean very well, like wtf kind of resort was this? But besides that, I got to see and hang out with my sister from another mister who lives in AZ and I don’t get to see often. We went line dancing, which was FANTASTIC! I got to spend my 29th birthday in Mexico, Florida, and AZ + flying over the states between! And with the time difference my birthday lasted 26 hours instead of 24! And I didn’t think about work once during the whole trip until they day I had to come back, and it was because I didn’t wanna come back and go to work!

WOW this is getting long, I'm sorry, only a couple more topics I need to talk out. Its been a very stressful year!

Well after I lost the office job, I've been pretty much Ubering for money, and not making too much of it. But all summer I got to spend weekends going to Bridal/Baby Showers, Weddings and family parties, which I've never really gotten to do before (well besides the weddings, I've never missed a family wedding), so that was awesome! And the weekends we didn’t have an parties, I went up north to my family’s summer home, which my parents just got about 2 years ago, and I’ve barely been able to go before. Which is soo much fun! Ice cream socials, the pool, bonfires, drinking games, bar hoping out on the boat! Nothing about it isn’t fun! So YAY!

If you remember, last November I moved in with my 93 year old grandma with dementia. This experience has been stressful. She spends her days trying to call her mother and grandmother, who are at the cemetery; pacing around the house; she puts dirty dishes in the dishwasher away and washes clean dishes twice; she sets the air conditioning and heat up to 80 degrees, I swear she’s trying to kill me. Its very hard, but I love her, and I love that I get this time to spend with her. And thank god for my mom who is only a call away to help with grandma when my anxiety is through the roof and I can’t deal with her atm, I wouldn’t survive this without her!

This week is going to try me though. I’m staying home all week with grandma, because she just had surgery. She had skin cancer on her nose, and they had to remove it. She’s fine, but she has a bandage on her nose that she isn’t suppose to take off, and yet she does like every time I look away, she’s not supposed to irritate it by touching it or blowing her nose, but she tries to blow her nose every 5 mins. And she’s suppose to sit down and relax with her head back so it doesn’t start bleeding again, I swear she won’t stay sitting if her life depended on it. Ill probably write more about living with her at a later date, but Ill leave it to that now. 

Lastly, while I was sitting down writing the blog post, I got a call that just devastated me. My grandma on my other side, has been having some health issues the last week and it has not been looking good, I was going to go see her tomorrow night. Well my mom called me to let me know that she passed away tonight. She was 82 years old, and though she would technically be my step-grandma, she was the only one I ever knew on that side, and I loved her just the same. My dads mom died of tuberculosis probably about a decade before I was born, but my grandpa remarried an amazing woman, and some of my extended family had trouble accepting her (the cousins opinions, usually based on their parents, who probably thought she was trying to take their mothers place, like some kids react to a step mom), but I always saw her as grandma. What kills me is the last time I saw her, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye! It was my cousins wedding at the beginning of October, and even though I talked to her during the wedding, when she left that night, I was out on the dance floor or somewhere, and didn’t know she was leaving, so I never said goodbye. And now I'll never have the chance too!! I know she knew I loved her, and though her body was deteriorating, her mind was still has sharp as ever! She was a sweetheart! And my sister and I kept saying we were going to go visit her and bring her dinner, or watch the Blackhawks game with her, and as much as we said it, we barely ever went, and I really wish we had! She was an amazing woman and I’m so happy I got to call her Grandma, but I’m going to regret not spending more time with her when I could, especially near the end! When my Grandpa died, over 15 years ago, I had actually seen him the week before, and gave him a hug and kiss goodbye before I left. Plus he died 2 days after Christmas, and he used to give all the grand children $10 for Christmas (there was 29 of us at the time so for him that was still a lot of money), so I had gotten one last Christmas present from him, which I never spent. I have $10 just sitting in a jewelry box, because nothing ever seemed important enough to spend it on. And after he died I was given his guitar, which I still cherish! I fear I won’t have nothing but 1 picture with my grandma to remember her by. Its going to be hard to say goodbye!  😭

So since its 2 am, and I've been holding back tears while I've been writing this post, and my anxiety and depression will probably be bad this week, I think its time for me to go to bed. Sweet Dreams sweet readers!

[wanderbitesbybobbie]

SO THIS IS SYDNEY: Expat Stories - Life, Work, and School Abroad

SYDNEY DIARIES:

So basically, I am writing this post at 12:12 AM AEST because first, I can’t sleep. Second, I want a clear documentation (in writing) of how messed up my sleeping pattern is because of my current job and school schedule. But I am thankful for my current job. I really am. I love how chill the cafe is. I don’t mind waking up really early for about 2 to 3 times a week, and finishing early as well.  But, I am in the process of adjusting because I got used to being alive and awake at 1 in the morning. But now, I have to be asleep at around 7 or 8 so I can wake up and function at 3 in the morning. That’s kind of a drastic change for me. So surprise, surprise! My sleeping pattern is all over the place. Hahaha. Anyway, all I can do is just imagine myself one day, sipping on a cold glass of champagne, maybe in a 5-star resort somewhere, reading my previous blogs and telling myself, “Awwww… those were the days when I was slaving my butt out trying to gain all those experience.”

Here goes my random stories that have accumulated throughout the past week. IT’S OCTOBER ALREADY IN A FEW HOURS!!!! WHERE HAVE I BEEN? WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? WHERE HAVE ALL THE DAYS GONE? I DIDN’T SEE THEM COMING BY! IT HAS BEEN SUPER FAST!

22 September 2018 AN UBER DRIVER GAVE ME A FREE RIDE TO WORK!!!

Today, I woke up at 3 AM as usual after a seemingly 4-5 hours of sleep. Of course it wasn’t enough for a 10-hour shift. I kept yawning like a lion the whole day. But anyway, I woke up at 3, prepared for work, and headed out. I was running late for some reason or maybe I was too slow in the bathroom, pondering about life while I was brushing my teeth. It added up about 7 mins on my usual routine. I started walking down the road as my workplace is merely a 20-minute walking distance from where I live. My earphones were plugged in with Dua Lipa playing. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this white Ford sedan pulled over at my side of the road. I wasn’t paying attention, it’s super early in the morning so I kept walking. Then, I noticed the lady driver signalling me to come to her. I pulled my earphones off and walked to her passenger side. I thought she was lost so I was preparing to make my brains work for directions. So the conversation went this way:

Uber Driver: Hi! Are you on your way to the train station? (with her passenger window down)

Me: Yeah. (Because… maybe, she doesn’t know where the train station is so I was pointing to that direction.) 

UD: I’m going that way. Do you want a free lift?

Me: (Thinking… Hmmm… Maybe it won’t hurt if I get a free ride. Besides, I’m almost late.) Oh, that would be awesome, thank you. I’m actually going near the station, near KFC, a little bit further down by the junction. 

She nodded, and opened the passenger door. So I got in her car.

UD: I saw you cross the road. I slowed down when I saw you and I was trying to call you, but you wouldn’t look back. I was thinking if I was gonna take you in. Then you started walking fast, and I said, omigosh she’s too petite to be walking this dark, alone on the streets. Yup. I’m taking her in. 

Me: Hahaha I’m fine. I’m like this every other day. 

UD: What? Walking alone on the street? Where are you going this early? I’m Michelle by the way. I’m an Uber driver. I just had a very wonderful night on the road, so I want to share the good vibes before I go home. 

Me: Wow. That’s good. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Michelle. I’m Barbara. I’m on my way to work. 

UD: Oh, KFC opens that early?

Me: Hahaha No. I’m a pastry chef. I work at the cafe in front of KFC. We open at 6:30. So I have to start doing the breads and muffins at 4. 

We drove for about 5 minutes and we were almost there. 

UD (whose name is Michelle): Wow. That’s very admirable. You’re doing good for humanity. I can’t even wake up early to make myself an egg for breakfast and you’re doing breakfast for the entire Bondi. Yup! I made the right decision of giving you a lift. I feel like I helped humanity too. (We both laughed.)

As we were about to approach my workplace, I said my heartfelt thanks. 

Me: This is my stop. Thank you so much. God bless you. 

UD: You too. You are a blessing. Have a good day ahead.

Me: You as well. Have a good day ahead. Thanks again. 

So I ended up being 5 minutes early than the head chef, and the shop was still closed. But, that’s ok. I would have been about 10 minutes late if she didn’t give me a ride. The day started well and ended well.

26 September 2018 I WAS GIVEN SATURDAY OFF!!! OH YEAAHHH!!!

Today is one of those days when I just had an anxiety attack two nights ago and I am still recovering from that blank feeling, but I got to force myself to function for work. I literally had to compose myself and drag myself to be a normal human being. So I did my usual breakfast routine. I made the brioche dough, popped it in a box for proofing, did the scones, baked some muffins, made some Cinnamon and Nutella Rolls, made donuts, made sourdough, made heaps of carrot cakes (got myself a scorching burn in the process), prepared some date balls for rolling, and all of a sudden… the head chef said to me… “I just confirmed your Monday.” My face lit. Then he followed up with “You don’t have to work on Saturday.” Whooootttt! Wait what? “This Saturday or next Saturday?” So my brain got a little bit excited. Man, that’s 4 days rest starting Friday! Whoa! “This coming Saturday.” He replied. OMG! What a bliss!!! So, I just realized… Honey, that’s the rest of your Spring break, because you won’t feel any break when you start with your hotel training. Hahaha. Enjoy!

29 September 2018 MY MOST EMBARRASSING DAY IN SYDNEY! FREE EVERYTHING! HOLIDAY INN AND SOFITEL WANTS YOU!

I woke up and started the day with a massive headache. I kept sneezing. The weather is as fickle as it could be. One day, it’s sunny, next day, it’s rainy and the temperature would drop from 23 to 11 in a snap. Anyway, Thursday is a school day for me, but not your average “school day” like Finance Tuesdays. I get to run as Front of House/F&B for lunch service at The Apprentice Restaurant (which my school owns and it’s being run by students including the chefs). I was wearing my uniform and this day marked my most embarrassing experience I’ve ever had in Sydney. So my F&B uniform is a black skirt, white blouse, and a coat, just like how you would see any other hoteliers. I was wearing black stockings and black shorts underneath my skirt. The sun was out, but I stopped for a bit to wear my coat as it wasn’t as warm as I expected it to be. I honestly don’t know how it happened. I crossed two intersections already. To my surprise, I looked down. I saw my skirt up my thighs, and my shorts saying hello to the world. I was like WTF!!!! I pulled my skirt down and casually walked really fast. I was super embarrassed I didn’t want to look sideways or even look back to see if someone was looking. Hahahaha. I literally have no idea how long it has been like that. I was pretty sure I pulled my skirt down before I left the house. Anyway, I received a free box of white chocolate macadamia cookies at the train station. They were campaigning for something, and I didn’t read it. I just took the cookies. Shame on me! Hahahaha. I started being conscious wearing that skirt. I kept on looking down my thighs the whole time!

As I arrived at The Apprentice, my teacher noticed I’ve got a bit of a flu. So he instructed me to make myself a cup of tea with a squeeze of lemon. Cool! Instant breakfast! Free tea from school plus free cookies from the train station. Not bad for a Thursday! I was supposed to be serving 7 people but my table of 4 did not arrive for their reservation, and 1 person from my table of 3 couldn’t make it so I ended up serving two people only and apparently one of them was the person I was looking for to talk about my hotel work placement. God is good! The moment he saw me, he said, “Hi Barbara. How’s it going?” I smiled at him and said, “Hi Tony. Holiday Inn just called me. I’ll be having a chat with them tomorrow at the hotel for the roster.” “Oh great. But the reason I want to have a chat with you is because Sofitel wants you as well. See, you have options. So tell me whatever you have in mind with your schedule, OK? Because I can easily talk to Sofitel and tell them if you’re interested as well.” I gave my best smile, quickly nodded, and said thanks. Wow! What did I do to deserve this kind of opportunity? Again, THANK YOU LORD. And thanks for the free food ALWAYS.

30 September 2018 FRI-YEY!!!! SPRING BREAK!!!

It’s the start of our Spring Break for this semester. Friday is the start of my 4-day break… out of the many breaks (hopefully, in the future… when I’m not as broke anymore. Hahaha). It’s one fine day. I went to Holiday Inn and confirmed my schedule. I went for a uniform fitting and attended a mini “briefing”. I have decided to push with Sofitel as well, but I’ll finish Holiday Inn first. I don’t know if I’m going the right direction for my career, but yes. I want to try both. I mean, I love being a pastry chef… but I also love the hospitality industry in general. Just the thought of being in a hotel everyday gives me that really fancy feeling. It’s a positive feeling, so my receptors say it’s a good one. Hahaha. I spent the rest of my Friday with my cousin. We pigged out, rode the most expensive Ferris Wheel ride I’ve ever had in my whole life (but the view of the entire Harbour was worth it), talked about life, our dreams, our plans for 2019. I don’t know, but I am really excited for what lies ahead.

2017 and 2018 might not be the best, but I have a feeling that 2019 would be a breakthrough. I’m claiming it. It’s a positive feeling again, and it’s good, right? 🙂

OK. I gotta get some shut-eyes. I plan to walk by the beach if the sun is out and weather is warm the moment I wake up. We’ll see. I am updating this from time to time actually. It’s just that there are days when I would start to write, but I would end up malfunctioning (if you know what I mean). That’s another story to tell. I hope I get some time to update this again soon! Thanks for reading my non-sense train of thoughts. 🙂

SO THIS IS SYDNEY: Expat Stories – Life, Work, and School Abroad was originally published on WanderBitesByBobbie

[sh-lan]

OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???

Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue

It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T

This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu

April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well

oop i just bought more rings goodbye money

my charger broke gg time to get another one

I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back

When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break

SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke

week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker

Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut

First attempt at 양념치킨~

been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T

went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL

currently craving anything strawberry

don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time

under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL

i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole

i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder

Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww

I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):

This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-

Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding

Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone

Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”

Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel

finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE

When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;

어떻게

Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3

highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh

You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol

Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):

i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know

most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA

Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA

Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend

Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop

Dammit i got called for jury duty

Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss

Week 5 i’m sick…

just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago

fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered

thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting

week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school

I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍

I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH

ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now

Really debating the 4th term

third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???

…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear

bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut

i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im

Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired

salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl

I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself

Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad

May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️

im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair

omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL

Just tryna level up here :<

Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning

Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips

watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED

Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me

Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL

i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???

lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever

LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run

Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i

When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh

i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o

Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL

Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed

Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life

May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????

Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH

Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL

Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened

nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL

Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography

Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING

Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”

I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake

Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼

First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list

I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL

i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird

i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL

ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure

omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh

Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;

after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*

okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY

i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-

hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?

burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary

week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home

NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa

“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings

Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol

that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg

dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now

Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit

My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE

Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit

Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….

saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I

put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T

ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM

JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot

i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me

so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts

omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*

Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too

lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home

finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL

and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL

and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ