#wow this is long and rambly im sorry
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been stewing on this one for a while but i said i was gonna post more of my headcanons so here's a little bittersweet tidbit;
childhood was a really rough time for Diomedes and Sthenelus (and the other younger Epigoni as well) full of a lot of grief and sorrow and confusion, and the weight of your father's legacy crushing shoulders too young to uphold it or begin to understand it. Diomedes, for the most part, doesn't even remember Tydeus. All he really knows is the idealized version of him Athena and others hold him to. Sthenelus has fleeting memories of Capaneus but refuses to remember - he only resents. Their childhood was spent being trained up to be weapons.
But even so, I do think there were moments where they got to just be kids. They built their own little fort of escape somewhere they knew would remain hidden. It took weeks of stacking rocks with what little free time they had until it was perfect, and it was theirs, and it was somewhere where they didn't have to be wise beyond their years.
They eventually forgot about it as they got older. They sacked Thebes, Diomedes restored Oeneus to the throne, and then the Trojan War happened, and all the things in between being on the battlefield - getting married, becoming kings, Sthenelus even had children of his own. The fort lay forgotten and untouched, a reservoir of good memories they'd both buried a long time ago.
And then, when they're fleeing Argos, they find it again, reclaimed by the vines and the leaves. All their old stuff is in there still, little wooden swords and shields, animal and soldier figurines, drawings they etched into the rocks. It's the only place they ever had that wasn't overrun by sorrow, where they weren't forced to fill the shoes of men they don't (or refuse to) remember.
But there's just no time left. They have to leave it knowing they'll never see it again. All they can do is hope they can hold onto a fragment of the tranquility their younger selves buried there.
#ok wow that turned out a lot longer and sadder than i wanted it to be#i like to think Sthenelus went with Diomedes to Italy bc he's just that loyal to him#(and also i want a happy ending for them. is that too much to ask)#but ALTERNATIVELY it's just Dio who finds it#and in a whirlwind of emotions (mostly about the fact he'll probably never see Sthenelus again) he destroys the place#he regrets it after but he's long gone from Argos by then#and there's nothing he can do to fix it now#BUT ANYWAYS#thanks for coming to my headcanon post sorry if i pulled on your heartstrings#im incapable of being normal about them#diomedes#sthenelus#diosthe#mj rambles
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Happy Shun Duel Links Day!!! (party popper emoji)
#yugioh arc v#yugioh arc-v#arc-v#shun#yuto#comic#duel links#sorry for the long format but OOH it looks so clean when its all in one line!!!#this almost didn't make it out of my wip jail cells because i spent 30 mins on one of the panels#using references and everything but it just looked super duper odd and it was a waste of time overall#and don't even get me started on the toning (clenches fist) nothing was looking right at one point#but enough about the process i want to talk about the comic itself#part of the motivation for drawing this was seeing all the fluffy shunyoot celebration pics during his roaming event#they ARE cute but also i really really wanted so badly to see shun's visceral reaction that didn't reduce him to mere comedic fodder#(something i'm also guilty of)#so anyway like we always say in ygos we make our own food#wow im rambling anyways the last line of dialogue i had most trouble with but also the most proud of#no shade to the writers of the show (ok maybe like a LITTLE shade) but with this comic i really wanted to reflect the feelings of both#fans of the show as well as fans that left after the ending because that was something i saw floating on jp twitter during the roaming even#and it really made me Think#also can we talk about how in the event yuya was just like hey shun i have a surprise for you!!! haha :]#he was THERE when shun said never appear in front of me ever again did he think shun would just be omg yuto :)#this is why youre my favourite (yuya)#anyways last but not least#the final yuto panel is a healthy mix of guilt + existential dread and doubt about his own existence i hope that was obvious enough
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#non kink people are so weird to me bc#long story short i have finally gained some weight through many tropes i did not even realise were happening#which is a good thing bc everyone close to me is worried abt my weight bc im naturally underweight#and somebody mentioned it to me recently like oh wow so glad to see you’re getting better#and my bf who is completely blissfully utterly unaware of this kink and just rly likes cooking#put a HAND#on my STOMACH#and was like yeah you eat very well for me don’t you :) and kissed my forehead and Kept His Hand there for a while like ???#ppl are way too open about weight fluctuations and how full or hungry they are for my liking like..#how do u do all this and feel so normal and open about it#okay sorry#rambles#things such as this have happened before but this one had me so awkward#smile thru it they won’t find out they won’t find out they won’t find out !!!!!#ive only dated or been friends with people who have disordered eating or care for beauty standards before so it’s all New To Me#tw disordered eating#?
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GAH LONG POST..
xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy
thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions
perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal
but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it
i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship
but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts
#tangy talks chongyun#tangy talks genshin#xingqiu#hu tao#chongyun#on my cf list i specifically wrote:#“ive destroyed whatever palate i had for them(xy) 2 years ago and developed a new one that's more sour” LOL#it's true rip i was going thru my old art it's really funny how much ive changed since then#i feel like i just.. developed different outlooks ..? aka me realizing i might be aro#ive been much more qpr inclined w my ships aha. im also in love with all my friends. i like projecting my values of love and intimacy into#my favorite characters eeep.. shoutout to the raven cycle#i think the only ships i have that r conforming and exhibit conventionally romantic attitudes are uhm.. my bard and shadowheart ..and ..#natasha and pierre from war and peace BAKFBAJG#idk though i dont really like labeling relationships and Love and whatnot. just using categorical terms for convenience#wow these tags are long as hell#sorry im just rambling here but. i want the best for chongyun okay#im not rly sure if anyone shares the Same vision for xy but welp i☝️ will die on this hill#i talked vaguely here my bad#that was on purpose though lest i. idk. link a pdf#as for chongming i need to marinate gaming in my head more#can anyone tell i take my ships seriously LMFAO mfs wont settle for surface level bonds. i WILL excavate their pysches#ignore typos sorry.. typing this in bed#tangy talks Vaguely#using that tag so ill remember to elaborate on these umbrella topics later
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IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board
it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.
but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭
also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out
[video source i screenshot from]
MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.
like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"
but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl
and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE
ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior
and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]
alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!
#SORRY i post extremely long rambles about haikaveh when i KNOW most people that follow me do NOT give a shit about genshin#i like like. maybe 5 people do#and also a lot of the stuff i say will in fact be repeated things#and like. stuff that is old news LOL me when i discover air or whatever idk leave me be#i need to process my feelings via word vomiting thats what tumblr is FOR!!!!!#if i cant directly dm spam one or two people about Character then i have to do it on tumblr#and make it everyone else's problem#fuckin. god. when alhaitham was released i only summoned for him on a whim#bc my FRIEND was like wow i really want this new guy#and i was like ooo looks fun ill try too#and hes like one of my best dps units actually lol hes SO strong#and im fucking obsessed with him and kaveh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad i pulled for them both and got them when they first released!!!#i think i only got kaveh too bc i had really wanted baizhu#who is a fuckin great healer btw. theyre my dendro trio teehee#IM IN THIS GENSHIN VORTEX ALONE bc everyone else i know that plays is on a break or doesnt care or w/e#so im like ok fine. ill just descend into madness about characters BY MYSELF!!!!!!#and by that i mean i will post on tumblr dot com talking to my self#which is what i used to do anyway. ive returned to my roots my default state of habits#holding haikaveh so firmly in my hands YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND#actually it's one of the most popular ships in the game so. im sure many people understand. probs understand better than i do tbh#however? im on an island.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OF TONARI CLUB!
I, uh, m-made something f-for you.
Know that I'm totally embarrassing my ass over here, so... Don't laugh loud enough that I can hear you from over here!
Aaaaaand now, per Lyndis tradition, I'm gonna overexplain shits and turn a simple Ask into a whole ass Ramble!
-----------------------------(why is there no "Read More" partition in an Ask? I'm so embarrassed right now goddamn it)-------------------------
If you're short-sighted, try removing your glasses or contact lenses and look at this picture. I just did and it's suddenly even prettier!
I actually planned to draw your Sonicsona at first. And then I realized I deadass couldn't even draw Base Sonic. Then I thought I should draw a mole. I realized I also couldn't draw a mole. I thought I should just go for the easiest shit and draw ToFu. I realized I could not draw either one of them, too.
Because I cannot draw, I cheat! I mean I turn things into shapes (chiefly triangles, though not all of them) and then color them and hope that something shows up. This is me using this scientific /+ philosophical concept called Emergence.
No, I didn't just say THAT to sound like I have a technique of any kind, trust. It's so totally a technique—my very productive ass told me.
I remember you saying your favorite color is something like pink, blue, and stuff? It was from that tag game from last year. Hence, I decided I should create a context so I could draw an obscene amount of pink and blue.
If I'm being honest, it took me less than a millisecond to come up with the exact context—Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom is abundantly blue.
And since I always wanted to sneak ToFu in, I thought I would make a purplish-pink dusk. And then I will sneak those stargazing two in.
Come on. Everyone knows those ToFu panels. Even someone like me, who had not seen that part of the manga yet, knows.
Bless Tonari for being so relaxing to color.
HOWEVER! Fushi's limited-ass color presented a big problem for my cheat-drawing. How many combinations of "white" can you even make before you zoom out and see... nothing?! So I basically sabotaged them. That's what you get for being difficult, you mopey, neck-crick-possessing, fragile-enough-to-be-blown-by-the-wind cutie doofus.
I made up the color of their pants. I didn't even refer to their Nameless Boy drip when I decided on the color. I assed that part.
Yes. I admit I put a shit ton of effort into coloring Zelda. This version of Zelda is my kin, you know. Anyway, I like the way her, uh, shirt turned out.
I also like how the Master Sword turned out, but there was so much blue I ended up requiring outlines to distinguish it from Link's shirt and the sky. Told ya I have no technique or skill. I cheat through and through
I was too lazy to draw those sky islands. Besides, the ToTK side is already saturated with details.
What the fuck issa "proportion?" Everyone's head is an orange. The difference, Nova, is whether it's a Mandarin Orange or an Orange.
I don't know if I overdid Dinraal's draconic mane. It looks like she's wearing a wig. At least she is different from how she initially looked—a red tapeworm outfitted with chicken legs.
I admit I put more effort than any Past Me would have into Dinraal because a certain mutual is very, ah, particular about dragons.
Drawing two of your favorite ships for their show of devotion was a completely deliberative choice on my end. Did you also realize that both Link and Fushi had a short, small, low ponytail and that both Zelda and Tonari had similar hair? I believe it's due to me hitting my drawing skill limitation.
There is actually an Easter Egg of some sort in this picture. It's not the ugly doodle thing, no. That thing is me. I'm not an Easter Egg; I'm a ghost.
I'm not telling you what that Easter Egg is. I'm fine with it never being discovered; it'd be like those secret levels in old video games.
But if you DID discover it, come tell me what you think it is!
---------------
I hope you like it enough! Instead of it giving you a migraine, that is. Surely my """art"""... doesn't require a trigger warning... right?
Have a good one, mai bruzha!
---Lyn
A RAMBLE FROM YOU LYN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BRITHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! COUPLED WITH ART BY YOU????? AND OF MY FAVORITE FELLAS????? What did I deserve to be so blessed ;A; 💕💕💕
I’ll spare us all a little extra scrolling on my part by adding that read more you were fretting about, I have my own ramble upcoming!
I KNOW YOURE ON YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ARTISTIC OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS ART!!! AND DAMN GOOD ART TOO!!!!!!! This is!!!!!!!!!!! I want this made into stained glass I want to make this the permanent window to me bed roOM LYN THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ART STYLES!!!! There’s no such thing as cheating in art, it’s all art!!! “Cheating” is a style, no technique is a style!!! I should know I have none either, hehe -w-‘ your art may be some type of cubism? Hehe idk I’m not an art student :3 Either way this is absolutely gorgeous I’m in LOVE!!!
It’s so creative and well done and I LOVE your eye for detail, the lighting is inspired!!!! Like the way the sun hits the space behind Zelda is so pretty, AND ZELDA IS SO PRETTY!!!!!! EVERYRHING IS SO PRETTY, I CANT FOCUS ON ONE THING BECAUSE I KEEP JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT IT (every thing, every last detail!!! Is that a little you in the middle? Is that the Easter egg???? I could just pick you up and pat your little head!!! 😭 I know you don’t love hugs but that’s how I’ll be standing if you’re ever ready for one!!!)
I should slow down maybe and pick a few things to focus on BUT I JUST CANT I LOVE IT ALL!!!! The two scenes just blend so well into one another that my eyes are just naturally being drawn back and forth between both of the scenery! Dinraal, who turned out AMAZIING BY THE WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERDONE, if anything I’m so glad you had fun working on her!!! She’s so gorgeous!!!! I bet your friend is so so proud of how well she looks!!! Oh but anyway, Dinraal naturally leads my eyes over to the sun/moon (and the 24, hehe, thank you!!! /)//(\ Your memory is astounding!!), which have their own beautiful rays of light leading down onto the adorable couples 😭 I love love LOVE the moonlight leading down onto Tonari and Fushi, and the fact that she’s pointing at it too like she can almost reach it? Beautiful! Gorgeous!!! And it just leads my eyes down to them too, there’s just such a natural circular flow here, no wonder I keep getting caught in a loop of admiration! 😁
The blues and the pinks, and the stars on the ToFu side!!! I just noticed them and they’re everything to me!!!! Hahaha I’m so glad Tonari was relaxing to color hehe, same for me, something about her is just so lovely and calming when she’s relaxed 🥰 As for Fushi’s colors, I didn’t notice! Even after you pointed it out it looks good to me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is from someone who never references colors though, I’m so loosey goosey about everything -w- BUT YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM WAS GREAT, THEIR SHAPE IS VERY VISIBLE AND EASY TO MAKE OUT hehe :3 I love their crossed little legs 🥰
Zelda being your kin is so good to know hehe, I’ve always been drawn to all versions of Link myself! I think we’ve been perfectly set up to “play dolls” with these characters in the future, so to speak! Aaaahh they can’t have been easy to draw, there’s a reason I almost never dabble in drawing those two and their intricate outfits, but you make it look effortless!!! Zelda’s shirt turned out amazing, and I’m stuck looking at her little triangle braids!!!! I don’t know why I’m so fixated on that it’s just adorable!!! 😭💕 What a lovely technique, man, I’m so enchanted! AND THE MASTER SWORD, I know you called it cheating BUT I LOVE THE LINE WORK, it makes the sword stand out, almost like you lined that specific part with some sort of melted gold??? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
This is gorgeous and beautiful in every which way and thank you!!!! For everything!!! For this beautiful drawing and for giving me a chance to ramble and giving me something gorgeous to look at for the rest of my day, and for indulging in both of my silly little ships /)//(\ I’m so glad I don’t need glasses because I love every inch of your art, thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Gosh it’s so so so lovely 😭💕 you’re so lovely!!!!
I don’t know how to say goodbye so I guess I’ll just say good night for now! Thank you for thinking of me… I’ll have a wonderful day, so long as you promise me you’ll have a wonderful night along side me 🥰
Goodnight, Mai Bruzha!
- Nova
#Lyn the Zelda Kin (I’ll come up with a better tag some day I PROMISE 💕 haha!!!)#Friend Rambles 💕💕💕#long post#IM SO STOKED YOU HAVE NO IDEA AAAHHHHHHHHHH KICKING MY FEET#I’m typing the tags before I actually type the main body heehee I’m gonna jump over the moon!!!!!#and thank you for the letter too I’ve been rereading it! I’ve been getting back into writing letters of my own and wow!!!#the quality of yours are amazing!! I may have to take a note or two on how to craft a good one that one was amazing!! and thank you :’)#ok editing: this nova back after her ramble in the body text#I’m sorry for how disjointed this all looks! I kind of tackled my response based on where I was looking at at any given time#and I wanted to get my reply back before you hit the sheets for the night!!! still it took me some time but I hope I made it!!!#ahhh Lyn I hope you rest well! I’m going to have an amazing birthday and you’re a contributing factor in that my friend.. Mai Bruzha!!!#I know for a fact I’m forgetting details too like just the fact that I love the idea of Tonari and Fushi chilling at night#chatting and looking at the stars and enjoying each other’s company. my favorite scenes of them are always them shrouded in darkness and#covered in some sort of fireside lighting I just!!!!!! they’re so good in the dark thank you for drawing them at night#they are a moon couple to me… and ZeLink is a sun couple to me like idk how you got all these details DOWN about me! maybe we see the world#similarly :3 good to know I have someone in the world who sees them the way I do 😁#aahhhh I’ll let you get off to sleep now dear friend!!! and thank you again! thank you thank you thank you!!!!#this is truly shaping up to be the best birthday ever!
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ACK AGAIN I LOVE YOU GUYS. gteauhge jnhasj OK OK BYE GUYS I LOVE YOU!!!!YT#Y QHU💖💖💖💖💖💖
#wow i am having a hard time letting this go#SOBS.#sorry i didn't get to reply to all the messages and asks and mentions#sob#AAAA#OK IM GONE NOW#UNFORTUNATELY#it just feels wrong.#to log off for a long time#eek#ook#aaaaaaaa#OK#BYE#SOB.#rambles from the ocean
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snippet from a current wip <3
"Listen, alright. There's something I need to tell you, and I need you to stay quiet until I'm finished because if I don't get this out now, I'm probably going to explode." He inhaled deeply before continuing, cheeks aflame. "I'm in love with you, but not in the way that everyone expects of us. I love you so deeply and intensely that it could power the New York skyline. You create magic in the mundane and always manage to twist words into works of art that will affect people for lifetimes to come. Just looking at you makes me feel like I'm standing in a beam of sunlight and I never want this giddy feeling that you create in my chest to end. But... It's not romantic. It never was, and I doubt it will be. I know that people are expected to prioritize romance and sex in life, and that staying "just friends" is a curse, but to me? There's no just about it. I'm honored to be called your friend. There's nothing better that I can imagine. These past few months have been an absolute rollercoaster, with my life being turned upside down and whatnot. But you... Gods above, I would hang the stars for you if it meant I could witness even the ghost of a smile grace your lips. This love is intoxicating, truly, and I needed you to know how I feel. Even if it isn't reciprocated. Because I'd rather spend my life regretting doing things than not doing them and thinking back to the what ifs every time I close my eyes. I have a lot of regrets in my life, and I'm sure I'll have many more, but you're not going to be one of them."
#i have thoughts#writers of tumblr#writers on tumblr#writing rambles#writerscommunity#platonic love#pieces of my heart#platonic love confessions#WOW ITS LONG IM SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE THAT
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i regret to inform you all that my 5-year long boycott over the controversial dlc for dlc pack is over... im installing the rat-infested rabies stuff pack
#not paying for it obv but i avoided tht pack for so long wow#gone are the days where i exclude my f*rst pet stuff from my builds' pack list </3 sorry yall i want hamsters#hopefully theres mods to disable the rabies and honestly everything in that pack is so ughly im so glad this is free#ceru.txt#restraining myself from rambling in the tags yall are so luck you dont know me irl just picture someone-#tht talks a lot but literally none of it makes any sense ya thats me at least no one reads these so i dont feel too bad#dl
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seeing a post with a time stamp that says 3 years ago and you just have to sit down for a sec. like god so much has happened and yet it feels like yesterday
#tater rambles#kotlc#<- ig it applies#HI THIS IS ABOUT SPICY FORBIDDEN GATORADE#smth smth how the night changes and how many ppl in those posts are#deactived inactive or just distant#like. ill tell somebody ab then and be like. yeah we were really riding the high of 2020 lockdown but it was really#just a bunch of mostly kids who were queer closeted lonely whatever latching onto a bunch of stuff#that was so utterly ridiculous and yet it still echos today#2020 kotlcblr u will always be famous i remember telling mellie kotlcblr will always feel like home or smth#anyways i was reading the posts while calling a friend and was like. wow this fundamentally changed me as a whole person thats crazy#a stupid post with a gif of molten glass has affected me in ways i cant name#even three years later i still look at those and wanna cry cause its been so long but it doesnt feel like it#ive never wanted to return to a time as badly as then even if it was covid and closeted and depressed we made a little family#sorry im being poetic ab a tumblr fandom again (does this weekly)
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I think I might take a break from writing on here (quite possible a lie) </3
#mainly bc I won that publishing deal#so I have to finish the book I’ve been writing#and I find myself prioritizing writing fics over my book bc I’m like ‘oh there’s no rush to finish my book’#but now I’m like. I don’t know how much time has to pass before my opportunity expires LOL#I’m about 60% finished with it im pretty sure#but I just need to focus all my attention on it#also my writing on here has been flipping lately and I feel like boo-boo about it LOL#FLOPPING not flipping#I said possible lie tho bc I wanna take a break but knowing me#I’ll get an idea and be like wow x person on tumblr would love this actually lemme write it lol#so I might still write small short blurbs every now and again#but probably no long fics and stuff for a while#…..after I write my sex toy store worker Hitoshi AKSHDKFJDKFJ#this is why it’s taken me three years to write 75k words LOL#sorry I’m rambling i just feel a little guilty#also feel bad bc I think I’m allergic to steroids lol everything sucks#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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I think a lot about Wrio allowing himself to indulge and gaining some weight as a way of healing, he went hungry for a long part of his life, but now he gets to be safer, to eat his fill and go to sleep with a full tummy. I also think of Neuvillete encouraging him to do it so, cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy, empty or full, which is great bcs Wrio not only lived starved of food but of affection too. I LOVE WG AND STUFFING AS HEALING, AND I LOVE WRIO. I CAN HEAL HIM FR (BY FEEDING HIM)
AHSJSHUS I LOVE THIS cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy <3333
i feel like so many canon profile bits and exchanges with him point to him being quite an indulgent character already; slacking off work, turning up his nose at the less desirable welfare meals, strolling around fontaine's patisseries, taking little tea breaks whenever the opportunity arises. as he deserves to!
given that he's said to be seen visiting bakeries while on duty in the overworld, i like to think he has a sweetooth :3 perhaps neuvillette often brings him pastries and cakes as gifts whenever he visits during work hours. he invites him to furina's famous tea parties whenever the chance makes itself available (one of which is sure to be hosted each time the warden has official business to discuss in the court of fontaine, no matter how trivial.) he is always delighted to see him treat himself, and wriothesley is just as happy to satisfy his sweet tooth on such a decadent feast; not only did he never think he would have the opportunity to live so luxuriously, but also because now he believes he deserves to do so, no longer holding back from his desires out of guilt and little self worth.
not only does he give in to his newfound large appetite, but neuvillette rather likes to indulge him too. he brings him out to restaurants and orders fine foods and wines - a gloved finger pointing out the dishes on the menu as he orders for the both of them. at furina's tea parties, he offers him another slice of cake or suggests which desserts to try next, even as wriothesley places a hand on the swell of his quickly filling stomach.
"kouign-amann pair quite well with ginger tea. i must say this batch has been baked long to perfection," he muses, delicately pushing a plate across the table to wriothesley, who is still making his way through the gâteau he insisted he try. "though if you are drinking something sweeter, i would suggest a few canelés, or this pear tarte tatin. what do you think, furina?"
"the red wine caramel is exquisite, wriothesley."
"these macarons from lucerne's, though, are truly delectable. they are still light and crisp from this morning."
"let me breathe first." wriothesley swallows, smiling fondly at his enthusiasm to see him eat well. (and, really, breathing may become slightly more challenging if he continues on like this.) "i haven't even finished the last few you so kindly bestowed upon me."
and ohhh the belly rubs,,, !!!!!!!
ofc i believe wriothesley is so weak for having his tummy rubbed in the first place - neuvillette's warm hands are the perfect balance of heavy and firm but gentle, and just feel so inexplicably nice - so when the deep circles he rubs into his belly are accompanied by the pleasurable feeling of being full of baked treats or a yummy dinner, he quite positively ascends to heaven. and when his lavish lifestyle inevitably fills him out and he amasses a few extra inches on his waistline, the iudex's hands on his newly senistive tummy send him out of this world entirely. falling asleep is a difficult thing for wriothesley, but under these circumstances - whether neuvillette is settling a meal in his stomach or simply providing affectionate rubs - he feels safe and cared for in his arms, and despite fighting it, sleep takes over him and he's snoring lightly into his boyfriend's shoulder. indulging is a fun little hobby, but having somebody to indulge with - somebody to pamper you - is much preferable.
(also consider - tummy kisses. neuvillette is absolutely over the moon when the soft cushioning of wriothesley's tummy means he can easily take it between his teeth, trailing little love bites over the gentle curve of his belly. or simply just pressing his lips to his warm middle in soft, adoring kisses, much to wriothesley's blissful delight.)
#wow i rambled im so sorry#im just so in love with him sorry 💔💔#more specifically his tummy#more specifically his tummy chub#the way u read my mind anon i have had something so similar for zhxngchi in my drafts for so long may b i will post it#given that in the AQ neuv observed how much the traveller can eat#i feel like he would take note of what i hc to be wrios v big appetite#more specifically /why/ he eats and /what/ he eats idk i think neuv is dumbed down by the fandom a lot so i love this ask ‼️‼️#so draconic of him to treasure and protect him in such ways#that being said#i love that he doesnt have social cues#and like to imagine him trying to rub wrio's belly in a restaurant after eating a little too much but he gets flustered and wont let him#sad neuvillette all miserable and morose bc he cant Hold Tummy until they go home :(
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Rant about Neil Perry's d*ath in DPS... **Tw suicide
In
3,
2,
1.
Okay, bear with me for this...
Because I am fully aware that Neil and Todd weren't canon no matter how delusional I am... they totally were in love right? But I always see posts on here like "what was Neil thinking?" and "did he even stop to think about how this would affect Todd and the others and blahblahblah" and honestly, that is the point. That is what makes his death so tragic. It is very common for suicide to be viewed as selfish but in that moment you aren't thinking about other people, you're thinking how how much of a burden you are, how much better off everyone else would be without you... (In my personal experience ik that's not the case for everyone)
But in the case of Neil Perry I think he was 100% thinking about the others...
For a moment, let's just hypothetically say that Neil (or both Neil and Todd) had feelings for each other that they never admitted or fully realized. Realistically the two only knew each other for a semester, like four months tops. It would be that painful yet giddy double edged sword of having a crush on your roommate/best friend and not knowing if they reciprocate said feelings back.
The longing looks, the side glances, the butterflies and inside jokes.... The whole shebang!
Soo theoretically speaking... the night of the play when Neil took one last look at Todd/the other Poets from his father's car. Looking out of the window symbolism that I don't want to get into rn but can't stop thinking about He lost all hope. He was being sent away from Welton. He would have been forced to go to military school.
His father would never let him act again- imagine what he would do if he found out Neil had feelings for a boy. It would end badly.
Neil thought he was never going to be able to act or go back to school. In his mind he would never be able to see Todd or the other Poets ever again. And maybe, just maybe that was part of his thoughts before he did it, you know.
The prospect of being ripped away from his friends and love and passion was too much for him to bear and that's why he did it.
Anyways I'm sad now, sorry for that rant.
#sorry for any errors im dyslexic#long post#also sorry#i love#neil perry#and#todd anderson#and im just ranting now#tw suicide#yelling into the void#junie rambles#dead poets society#dps#my first long post wow#dps fandom
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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!
so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️
#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol#but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3#even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept#but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how#'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't ����🏻♀️BUT#there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production#and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience#idk it's just a comforting thought#like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today#and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub#cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut#caitiechat
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I cannot recommend enough starting game series from the start. Both because if you get used to the clunky gameplay of earlier ones, the later ones will be easier (from experience, going the other way just makes the originals seem IMPOSSIBLE) and also bc it does in fact help w understanding the story. Also because honestly old games are so cool
#twist rambles#like. if i started with the wit/cher three (which i did) and was not patient enough to learn the mechanics of 1. i wouldn't have experienced#my fave game in the series. if i got into kof with like 13 or 15#i wouldn't want to play 95 or 99. due to them being hard as shit. but im so glad i DID because the plot in those is very good#like. idk i think more people need to play older games when theyre accessible to them. i dont want to see hyper realistic+#games everywhere. when are we gonna post game sprites that are like 20 pixels maximum and be like wow 😳 i want her#all of that to say. emulating helps a ton w branching out w stuff and idk. just play older games and experience them#i will never feel the stress i felt when playing certain atari games EVER bc those are insane. anyways god. long and rambly but i think more#f/e fans should be lusting after the rly old guys. where is the hype for like saji <- does not know if ppl care abt him or not#or like. barts/bartz. anyways. yes please go emulate and also experience old games. I promise theyre fun and still worth playing#and it will expose u to the worst bullshit mechanics known to man. i love old rpgs and ols trpgs and i wouldn't have known that if i didnt#look into older ones. and thats very cool for me. nes rpgs were always daunting for me. and for me to be enjoying them this much? its cool#sorry. i will ramble in the tags for 50 years. its my job.
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stressed out of my mind because a guy i know is transphobic and very misinformed on the topic and ive been trying my very best to explain things to him but its not been very effective so far and he keeps talking to trans kids and shit and in an effort to "help" them he straight up recommends conversion therapy and other things like that, and making those people extremely uncomfortable!! and because ive talked to him multiple times i feel like its my responsibility to get him to stop doing that somehow but ive literally no idea what to do!!!!! what the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#vent#sorry i just needed to talk because what the hell#he knows im trans so we have discussions about what it means to be trans regularly#he thinks hes helping me out of my transgenderism or some shit like that and i let him talk to me because im hoping in the process i'll get#him to realize being trans is not a bad thing and hopefully make him less transphobic#but its so tiring#and recently he showed me a convo he had w a 14 year old kid whos trans and being very pushy w them trying to help with “gender dysphoria”#and that shit broke me man i cant let him do stuff like that#i dont know what to do because i feel like no matter how many sources i give him or no matter what i say he'll keep being like this and!!!#that scares me! because maybe one day some kid will actually believe that being transgender is a mental illness and that they need#conversion therapy or something#its stressing me out and i feel like the only thing left to do is cut contact w him because i dont want to accidentally encourage him or#anythign but if i leave without doing anything im basically letting him go hurt other trans people and spread misinfo everywhere and itd be#my fault for not stopping him#you get what i mean#long post wow#rambles
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