#wow this changed subject real quick

[mochaticat]

Dude, how do ppl find love/guy friends nowadays? Like; to find a guy my age that's ACTUALLY RESPECTFUL AND A GENTLEMAN is so freaking hard. Everyone I see on YT has some bf/gf that they admire with their whole heart or that ONE opposite gender friend who's the life of the party and is always there for you.

And what do I have?

I don't go to regular school, I don't have any way to interact, I barely trust ANYONE, and my social anxiety is up here.📈 Anyways, most boys my age js play video games and act all "gangsta" while watching skibidi toilet and mewing to get that jawline literally NO ONE WANTS.

My generation's actually pretty 🍑. Why couldn't I have lived in the 90's? Everyone says it was better there. More adventure, real friends, going out, walking the streets without a care in the world...

...Better lore to tell the kids. And there was actual ways to express your love; and when you broke up it always was easier to move on. No Insta to stalk, no Pin to vent love Whispers on, no Snap to see their stories..

And the music! The music from decades ago had more meaning than the whole "mmm, she fine" or the "don't care who she is, i want her" type stuff. 'CAUSE ACTUALLY. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THAT.

oh, btw i got so sick of the radio i decided to make a playlist that had old music or music with ACTUAL meaning.

enjoy :)

what was the point of this rant to begin with? Man, idc at this point.🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[venusacrossthestars]

Carnival

Summary: You love your boyfriend and you love the edits of your boyfriend that are all over TikTok, however your dirty little secret is soon shared.

Pairing- Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

wc-923

warnings- not proofread, at all. Carnival by Kayne West is the song in question, one sexual innuendo at the end, swearing and FLUFF

f1 masterlist

You were no stranger to TikTok and the editing trends that made their rounds. You have seen your fair share of edits or both real and fictional men. You have even come across a few of your boyfriend and they were, well a sight to see. The first time you liked one with your main account, that had sent the comments and the poor editor into a frenzy. 

You wanted to interact with the fan base, especially the ones on TikTok without acting liked a crazed girlfriend who thirsted over her boyfriend publicly. So you did what any sane person would do and you made a fan account for your own boyfriend, you never posted anything just liking edits and commenting on how wonderful the edit was. 

Charles had no idea and to be honest you didn’t really want him finding out. This was your dirty little secret, something you only looked at when Charles wasn’t home. How was it that these editors were so talented. Putting together a bunch of random clips, the coloring, the transitions, the song choice, all of it was beautiful. 

The song of choice at the moment was Carnival and you weren’t complaining. Your entire saves was filled with edits of Charles to this song. You have probably seen hundreds and you ate it up everytime. 

It was a random wednesday and Charles was off doing his workout and you had thought that there was no better time than to open TikTok and go scroll through your saves. Too lost in your own little world you failed to notice the front door open a close, signaling that Charles was home. 

The only thing that Charles could hear throughout the apartment was a song he wasn’t familiar with. ‘Go Go, go, go, go Head so good, she a honor roll She'll ride the dick like a carnival’. What the hell were you watching? 

Coming up behind you Charles could see his own pictures flash across the screen to the song. He watched as you scrolled down and to his surprise it was another video of himself to the same song. 

“What are you watching?” Charles ask. 

You nearly screamed at Charles’ voice, not expecting him to be back so soon. You turned off your phone and flung it across the couch, “You’re home early!” 

“No, No, No. We aren’t changing the subject. What were you watching?” 

“Nothing…” you say sheepishly. 

Charles raises an eyebrow at your tone, “Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” you hum out, “Absolutely sure.” 

Charles moves next to you on the couch and grabs your phone. You go to reach for it but Charles is quick to grab it back. “I think I know what you were doing.” 

“Charles,” you groan out “Give me my phone please.” 

Charles continues to hold it out of reach, no matter how you move or where you move to, he is one step ahead. “Not until you tell me who that handsome man was on your screen.” 

“Charlie, stopppp.” You groan out, “It’s embarrassing.” 

“Then I’ll just have to keep this,” he says, pocketing your phone. 

“Fine! I was watching edits of you!” 

Charles giggles out at your admission and you hide your face in your hands, heat creeping up your neck. 

“I want to see,” Charles says, “show me your favorites.” 

“Wow, someones is a little vain.” 

“I’m not the one who was watching edits of their significant other.” Charles teases. 

“Well now I don’t want to.” 

“Mon amour, please.” Charles begs and you turn away from him. You won’t fall victim to his pleading eyes this time.

“Mon amour. Mon cheri. Please my love. I’m not making fun of you I swear.” 

You could never hold your resolve to Charles’ pleading, “Fine, can I have my phone?” 

Charles hands you your phone and you are quick to unlock it. You exit the edit you were currently watching to scroll back up to the top of your saves. 

“I made a separate account to like and comment. One time I liked with my personal account and I think I nearly sent the editor into a early grave. I wanted to interact with the fans but I thought you might think its strange for your girlfriend to be liking thirst edits of you.” 

“I think it’s adorable,” Charles says, pinching your cheeks. You swat his hands away in embarrassment. “But y’know you can thirst over me anytime, right?” 

“Of course I do, it’s just these edits do something to me. I can’t explain it.” 

“Well let me see.” 

“Fine,” you scroll down to where you know the edit is, “This one has been real popular lately. There are more to this song, the one that was playing when you walked in earlier, I really like them.” 

You hold your phone to at an angle so that Charles can see the edit play out. He sits in silence for the whole thing and once it loops you pause it and wait Charles reaction. 

“Wow,” he pauses, trying to think of what to say next, “people really make edits of me to songs like this.” 

“Yes and I don’t blame them. You are very sexy.” 

“I can see why you watch them. If there were edits of you I’d be watching them all the time. Can I see another?” 

“Sure.” You scroll down to another Carnival edit and you watch as Charles is encaptured by himself. 

“Well the song got one thing right-you do ride dick like a carnival.” Charles chuckles out. 

“CHARLES!” 

taglist- (crossed out names mean I couldn't tag you)

@arieslost @spookystitchery @tpwkstiles @oliveswiftly @morgonjinn @herondalism @softieekayy @deprxssed-loser @noreri @boiohboii @im-on-a-hellavator @captainchickadee @whatever7justchillin @outerudeth @jscircuit @loveyatopluto @saiteliites @asparklysoul @missmontiopath @helanahaadock @froggybij @slaygirlbossworld @vee2004dee @tennisloversblog @slvtforredheads @senna13sworld @hellobeauty-06 @jaxx-7 @anastasiamoony @reguluscrystals @gr1mes-cc @yoooooooogiiiiiiii @sharlsworld @janeholt3 @valtkitty @wondergirl101ks @georgeparisole @m4dyl @janegxi @amberpanda99 @itsmeimthedissapointment @jah0700 @non-binaryandy @sarahskomal @anedpev @xqwiser @apllo-axolotl @h34rts4maisey @anonymousjo @megsmclaren @charizznorizz @decadentlightchaos @adelinemack @bwormie @bonbonvz @hoodshair @bunbun9396 @fangirlika @vex-et-soleil @sillylittlegooselings @hlhclh @stvrlec16 @omgsuperstarg @luanasrta @its-cat-eyes @taytaythirteen @marekmybeloved @rqlstefanny @nickxcorpse @olivyamarvelgirl @violyn20 @emisaxols @thesouistone @hangmandruigandmav @embonbon

[puma-riki]

No One Noticed...

Warnings: consistent cursing, kms/kys jokes [Subject to change every chapter]

Status: Ongoing (Start: 092124)

Taglist: @bee-the-loser @iaintseggsy @channieismylove @yangjungwonnie @luluvhs @nikiswifiee @kingofthekards @skepvids @sammie217 @sh0dor1 @sirens-dreams @starfallia @polarisjisung @minhosimthings @mochiwonz @jiiyen @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @ritzy-dream-boy @roseangelxfuma @sugarikiz @stvrriki @eczlipse @ddolleri @dangerousgardenchild @roarr-ki | Comment on any chapter from No One Noticed... saying you want to be added to the taglist!! or send me an ask !! | bold could not be tagged :c

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A/N: No header picture because there's a limit of 30 images my bad ANYWAY ENJOY OR WHATEVER There are written parts sprinkled in with the pictures!

16. 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕��𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚…

6:52pm

Ni-ki stood outside the door to your apartment, taking a steadying breath. He checked his reflection in his phone, giving himself a quick once-over. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to look a little more put together before knocking.

It took a couple of minutes before he heard rushed footsteps approaching, and he jumped slightly when he heard a sudden, dull thud from the other side.

"Shit," he heard you mutter.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as the door swung open. You stood there, breathless, eyes wide with slight embarrassment.

"Hey," you said, a little flustered.

"Did you just run into the door?"

"No… must've been the wind you heard or something," you said biting your lip to stop a laugh from bubbling up and glancing to the side as your cheeks tinted pink.

Cute.

He stifled a snort, but the warmth in his smile gave him away. He liked this side of you—the side that was relaxed enough to laugh at yourself. Two months ago, you barely even looked him in the eye outside of tutoring sessions. Now, you were inviting him over, letting him into your space. And more than anything, you felt comfortable enough to make jokes with him, even silly ones like this.

"Anyway sorry, I'm still finishing getting ready, come inside!" You told him, stepping aside for him to enter.

When he did, you closed the door. He took a moment to look around from where he stood. Your place was minimalist, which he kind of expected since you were only here for college, but it still had so much of you written all over it.

Lamps scattered across the space, each unique in size, color, and style, providing a warm, almost cozy ambiance. It was so… you.

There was a single coaster on the coffee table holding a cat-themed mug that seemed to have been left there for a while. A Nintendo Switch rested in its dock below the TV. The dining area was just three bar stools facing the kitchen, simple but functional. It was clear you hadn’t lived here long, but it already had a kind of charm to it—a charm that felt uniquely yours.

Before he could look any further you rushed past him, "My rooms down this way." You turned to him to nod down the hallway, gesturing for him to follow.

He trailed after you, and by the time he entered, you were already sitting at your desk in front of a small mirror, makeup products scattered around. He couldn't help but smile to himself. Two months ago, this would’ve been unthinkable, he mused. Back then, you’d kept things strictly professional—biology, study notes, and maybe a little small talk. Now he was here, watching you get ready for a night out with him and his friends.

"Wow, I've only seen your room on Facetime. It's kinda weird being here for real," He awed as he looked around. He found it to be true that a girl's room was a museum of everything she ever loved. You had posters of different bands and music artists on the walls, your desk had piles of papers, that he assumed were a mix of schoolwork and study materials, and a bunch of random trinkets.

"Look, this is where you'd put me..." He joked in faux amazement as he stood beside your chair and touched the space you'd usually prop your phone up against when you called him (or more so when he called you)

"I know, is it everything you thought it would be?" Your tone was light as you rubbed your makeup brush in blush (?) is what Ni-ki wanted to say it was.

"Kind of, who knew you were a hoarder." he teased, picking up a small jar filled with buttons, stones, and little knick-knacks, turning it around in his hand.

"Don't insult my jar of things." You lightly elbowed his side from where you sat.

"Where do you even get this stuff, do you pick it up off the street?" Ni-ki was joking, and you knew that. He looked down at you and saw the smile you were fighting as you ran the brush over your cheeks.

"No, actually. Some of those were from my house, and some are things I just… collect" You shrugged, closing the blush pallet and moving to open a tube of mascara. "Which may or may not have been picked up off the street,"

He chuckled, but inside, his heart was doing a different sort of flip. This closeness with him standing right next to where you sat, this openness, this easygoing chatter—it was new, and it made him realize just how much he liked this version of you. He knew you were still a bit nervous about meeting his friends tonight, despite the fact that you’d messaged back and forth with them. But he also knew that this version of you, the one who could laugh about running into doors and defend jars of random knick-knacks, would be just fine.

Watching you apply your makeup, Ni-ki felt a little less nervous himself. It wasn’t just that he was here in your room; it was that you wanted him here. And though he didn’t dare voice it, he hoped you’d want him around for a while.

"Did you hear anything back from the cafe? I haven't heard anything from Jungwon about it yet." He returned the jar back to its spot next to your computer.

"I did! They actually called me a few minutes ago asking if I can come in next week for an interview." Ni-kis eyes lingered on your expression as you talked. Your smile reached your eyes and your eyes had small stars in them. "I'm really nervous, but I'm also excited because I think I'll get it- not to be egotistical." You suddenly turned away from the mirror and pointed your brush towards him as if to prove a point. Ni-ki only smiled, "I was thinking earlier."

"Yeah?" He began to leave his spot next to you and wonder towards the other side of your room.

"Mhm, I think it'll be really cute to work there during the holidays! You know how all the shops around the city set up for Christmas and whatnot, with all the lights and wreaths." You continued to ramble to him as he stopped in front of your bookshelf. You had some volumes of manga and manhwas, albums from different artists, regular books, and those figurines you'd get in blind boxes.

He picked one up and inspected it, It was a duck. Its eyes were drawn as small black circles and had overdramatic rosy cheeks. Its beak was sort of downturned into a child-like pout. To complete its dorky look it had thin silver framed glasses.

"...and I think it'd be-" You turned in your chair towards Ni-ki. You smiled seeing him holding the small duck figure with furrowed brows.

"I found that at a thrift shop, I think. Isn't he cute?"

"He looks dorky," He said disinterested and placing the duck back on the shelf,

"He's cute, you just think you're too tough to think so," You rolled your eyes and turned back to your mirror. You were done with your makeup, which was just mascara, eyeliner, and blush. Now you were focused on your hair.

Ni-ki left the bookshelf and plopped down on your bed, just behind where you sat. He leaned back on his hands and tilted his head, looking at you smooth out your hair.

For a moment, he watched you quietly, almost mesmerized by how natural this felt, just the two of you, getting ready together. He hesitated, then finally asked, “So, how are you feeling about tonight? The whole haunted Halloween event and, you know… meeting my friends?”

You paused, glancing at him in the mirror. “Honestly? I’m nervous,” you admitted, setting down the brush and fidgeting with a loose strand of hair. “I mean, I’m not exactly used to stuff like this—big group outings or… being invited anywhere, really."You spun your chair around to face him, your hands pressed together and shoved between your legs shyly. "And I want your friends to like me, even though they already seem nice online. and stuff”

You felt kind of like a loser shying away from him and admitting to Ni-ki that you didn't get invited out often, But Ni-ki was fighting cuteness aggression as you did so.

Still, he nodded, listening intently, but couldn’t help feeling a bit proud. The fact that you cared about this, about them liking you, meant something to him. He nudged your shoe with his. “Hey, you’ve already won them over. Soon enough they'll start coddling you like annoying older siblings,” he said with a grin. Your lips were pressed into a thin line, still unsure. “I’m serious—they’re really excited to meet you, and they already think you’re great.”

You gave a small, bashful smile, lowering your gaze. “I don’t know… I just... don’t want to be the one weird, quiet person in the group.”

He chuckled. “First of all, that’s kind of my job. Second, you’ll be fine. Just be you—” He sat up and leaned in slightly, voice softer. “Plus, if you get freaked out at the haunted houses, you can use me as a shield.”

"I was already planning on that, don't worry." You rolled your eyes playfully, your heart settling to a steady rhythm.

Your eyes settled back onto Ni-ki. He pulled out his phone as it began to buzz. You assumed it was the others, asking where you were, however you felt no sense of urgency to get up and out the door. You felt perfectly content with Ni-ki, sitting on your bed in your room.

As he checked his phone, you took a quiet moment to watch him. It amazed you sometimes, just how natural it felt having him here, settled into your space as if he belonged. Not long ago, you couldn’t imagine anyone coming over, let alone Ni-ki, of all people—the one who kept showing up in your life, whether through FaceTime calls at random hours or by sliding into the seat next to you in biology. He always seemed to need your attention, as if your presence was somehow grounding for him.

It was new for you, this feeling of having someone who wanted you around, someone who not only noticed you but insisted on being close. And as you watched him now, texting away without any hurry, a soft warmth spread through you.

Ni-ki had become this steady presence, someone who didn’t mind your quieter moments or your quirks. He’d brought an energy to your life that you hadn’t expected, nudging you out of your routines and reminding you what it felt like to be seen and cared for. For the first time in a long time, you felt like your life was shifting, opening up. Maybe even expanding.

"You ready to go now?" He asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah, let's go!"

7:25pm

The moment you arrived with Ni-ki close by your side, it had been utter chaos in the best way. Jay and Sunghoon greeted you with a casual wave when they noticed you both approaching. Sunoo gave you a sweet smile, raising a hand in an overdramatic wave, his excitement visible in his eyes. Then Jungwon clasped your hands, grinning widely as he started bouncing in a circle, pulling you with him, his excitement contagious. Jake went for a dap, and though you fumbled through it with an awkward laugh, Jake chuckled, finding your attempt endearing in an older brother sort of way. Heeseung dapped you up too, then ushered you and Jake into a close circle to take a picture.

Watching the whole thing, Ni-ki had a stupid smile on his face (read: lovesick)

Now, you stand next to Ni-ki, arms crossed, trying to keep up with the chaos of everyone’s suggestions. The group has formed a loose circle just outside the amusement park entrance, and Jay holds one of the amusement park maps, pointing at different sections while everyone else bickers and talks over each other. The park is decorated with typical Halloween decorations, red and orange lights, fog that settles just above the crowd's feet, pumpkins and fake bloodies dummies scattered around the place, and of course, scare actors lurking about. You're looking all around you, taking in the scene the park has created especially for tonight. To be honest, you don't mind where you start in the park, you're just happy to be here.

Ni-ki, unbeknownst to you, has been attentive. He wants to make sure you're comfortable and not feeling left out. He wants you to have fun. He's looking at you now, your head is turned away from him, but he can still see the way your eyes flitter around in curiosity. He notices the way your mouth forms a 'o' shape when you see a guy, across the way, on stilts chug some sort of liquid and then spit out fire above the crowd, making them scream and laugh in amazement.

Ni-ki found himself fighting that feeling of cuteness aggression again. When he finally tears his eyes away from you and returns to the bickering coming from in front of him, he notices Sunoo giving him a pointed look. He raises his eyebrows at him to say 'What?'.

“Why would we go to the haunted house first? We basically get that experience out here.” Sunghoon complains, looking mildly distressed.

Heeseung grins at him, clearly enjoying the opportunity to tease. “Sunghoon, just admit you’re too scared to do the haunted house right off the bat,” he smirks.

“I’m not scared,” Sunghoon protests, but his eyes dart around the park nervously, as if he’s already anticipating the jump scares lurking within.

Meanwhile, Jake is trying to rally support for the roller coasters. “Listen, if we’re going to do this right, we start with a big coaster. It’s the only way to get our adrenaline going,” he argues, but Jungwon shakes his head, muttering something about “easing into it.”

Amid all this, you notice a shadowy figure moving among the crowd at the entrance. A few feet away, a scare actor in a clown mask, wielding a chainsaw with no blade, is prowling around, clearly on the lookout for his next target. You make the mistake of locking eyes with him. Immediately, the clown tilts his head, holding your gaze for just a moment too long before raising the chainsaw and revving it with a menacing roar.

Your heart leaps, and without thinking, you latch onto Ni-ki’s arm which is shoved in the pockets of his jacket. “Riki,” you say, eyes wide as the clown starts marching toward your group, the chainsaw’s roar growing louder. Ni-ki turns to you, grinning as he realizes the source of your panic.

“Riki, Riki, Riki!” You chant his name in growing alarm, gripping his arm tighter as you try to keep your nerves in check. It’s all part of the act, you know—but the thrill of it sends a giddy sort of panic through you as you cling to him, feeling the warmth of his arm through the cool October air.

Ni-ki laughs, finding it funny—and maybe a little surreal—that you’re hanging onto him so tightly. His heart starts racing, not at the clown, but at the way you’ve buried your face in his arm. His mind spins with the idea that out of everyone here, it’s him you chose to cling to.

The clown is practically upon you two, revving the chainsaw inches from where you stand. You squeal, face pressed into Ni-ki’s sleeve, and he chuckles, entertained and a little breathless from the nearness of you.

The clown eventually shifts focus and charges toward the rest of the group, who’ve remained blissfully unaware until now. Jay, Sunoo, and Jungwon immediately start tripping over each other and scatter, their screams a mix of laughter and terror as they sprint in opposite directions. Jake’s laughter turns to a yelp as he dodges behind Heeseung, who starts to back away, wide-eyed. Sunghoon finally breaks his cool, darting off with a scream, Jake following close behind.

“Not scared my ass!” Jake yells as he disappears into the fog, with the clown in hot pursuit.

Ni-ki laughs, watching his friends flee in all directions. You finally look up, cheeks warm as you let out a breathless laugh, loosening your grip on his arm.

“You good?” he teases, eyebrow raised. “See? I told you I’d be your shield.”

“Wow, my hero,” you reply with an eye-roll, though you can’t quite hide your smile. “You sure did a lot to fend him off.”

Ni-ki grins, his heart still pounding as he shrugs. “Hey, that’s what I’m here for,” he says, a bit softer than usual. His gaze lingers on you, feeling almost like he’s in a Halloween movie himself—just the two of you against the night, your friends’ laughter and screams filling the cool air around you.

A few yards away, Jay calls out breathlessly, “Alright, now that we’ve all survived... haunted house first?”

The group slowly circles back, shaking off the scare as they recover, everyone laughing at Sunghoon’s earlier bravado. Despite the spooky atmosphere and haunted music echoing from the park, you feel more excited than nervous now, especially standing close to Ni-ki.

He gives you a playful nudge as the group starts to huddle closer together to walk toward the haunted house. “Still feeling brave, or do I need to keep an eye out for any more clowns?”

You grin back at him, heart a little steadier now. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“Well, I'm not complaining,” he says quietly, his smile lingering as you fall into step beside him, the two of you ready to face the night together.

-

As everyone steps out of the haunted house, the group’s laughter fills the night air. You’re still riding the thrill of the scares, and Ni-ki has fallen a little behind, watching as you get pulled right into a lighthearted argument between Jay and Sunoo about who screamed the loudest.

“Oh please,” you scoff, nudging Sunoo. “That last jump scare? You practically launched yourself into the wall.”

Sunoo tries to defend himself, but Jake cuts in, backing you up with a grin. “She’s right, dude. Pretty sure the people behind us got scared just from your yell.”

Everyone laughs, and you lean into the playful teasing like you’ve been part of their group for ages.

Ni-ki, a few steps behind, watches with a quiet smile. He realizes that the little things—like the way you laugh at Sunghoon's jokes or casually tease Heeseung about screaming louder than anyone—are what he loves most. Two months ago, he couldn’t even get you to talk about anything other than school, and now here you are, effortlessly blending in with the people he’s closest to.

The others don’t seem to treat you like an outsider anymore either; Sunoo and Jungwon have practically adopted you as a new sibling, and even Sunghoon, the most reserved, has warmed up, tossing you a playful smirk whenever he catches you flinching from the lurking scare actors.

And in that moment, watching you interact with his friends, Ni-ki feels a surge of something he can’t quite name. Part of it is relief, a part of it pride—but mostly, it’s this unfamiliar warmth, knowing that you’ve somehow found a place in his life and his friends’ lives too. It hits him just how much he wants you to stay.

Just as he’s caught up in his thoughts, and mostly admiring you, You turn from side to side, like you're looking for something. You turn behind you and lock eyes with Ni-ki. You smile, having found what you're looking for.

"What are you doing all the way back there?" You stop in your tracks, letting Ni-ki catch up to you. "Scared of the roller coaster?" You tease, Ni-ki scoffs, and shakes his head.

"No, I'm not as jumpy as you are."

"Yeah right, I saw you jump a hundred times already."

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Elf, 2003

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Notes: Guys it’s 4:15 in the morning, I’m up gaming with my friend

Tony’s annual Christmas parties were always amazing, you watched as they worked on getting the absolutely enormous Christmas tree ready in the center of the room. It was going to be a fun night that was for sure…except for one little detail. 

“Are you kidding me?” you looked at the heavy envelope in your hands, not wanting to open it because you freaking knew what was in it. Every year a different person on the team was selected to play Mrs. Claus in Tony’s grand entrance… and there were absolutely no exceptions. Last year it was Peter, and he went all out with it, kitten heels and all, He begged Tony to bring in the best to help him get into drag.

Which incidentally was how you’d met Ru Paul. Which was possibly the greatest moment of your entire life, meeting true royalty. 

Bucky stands next to you by the railing, watching the tree going up.

“Hey, everyone has to take a turn” He shrugs and you glare at him 

“I’ve been around how long? I don’t see you taking a turn”

“You think for one second. I’m going to get my ass in a dress” 

You lean backward to check him out and he smacks your arm 

“Fuck off” 

You snicker and turn around, placing your elbows on the railing and letting your head hang back for a second.

“You should ask Steve to help by the way” He looks down, tapping his fingers together. 

“Why would I do that?” You blush a little, looking away and he rolls his eyes.

He was Steve’s wingman to the end of the line, which occasionally meant getting two lovesick idiots to realize how they felt about each other. 

“Because he’s had his hand in show business” 

“Wow seriously??” 

“Ask him how many times he’s punched Hitler” 

A half-hour later you’re in Steve’s room, it’s simple and clean, which you definitely expected of him. He told you to make yourself at home after you’d told him what Bucky said, and that he just had to go ask him a question real quick. 

You wander around a little bit, not being nosy but definitely poking around a little. It smells good in there, his scent clings to everything and you find yourself dragging your fingers along the clothes in his closet before selecting one of the large hoodies and taking it off the hanger. You wrap yourself up in it, walking over to the full-length mirror and checking yourself out. 

Steve is a monster of a man and his clothes reflect that. The hoodie hangs on your body and you stare at the mirror, imagining that being the only thing you’re wearing. How he’d unwrap you like a present as you laid beneath him. You sink to your knees and bat your eyelashes at your reflection, pretending to be looking up at his tall form… you wonder if he’d wrap your hair around his fist…using your face for his pleasure? 

Too bad he didn’t feel the same tension you did. 

Suddenly he comes back panting, breaking you from your thoughts as he races into his room and slams the door shut, you jump at the loud thud from the other side of the door.

“Steve??” 

Bucky was shouting something in a language you definitely didn’t understand and Steve looked over at you. 

“It’s cool, don’t worry about it, What are you doing on the floor?” 

You wait until you think Bucky stormed off and got up from the floor, walking over to the little kitchenette in Steve’s room. 

“I tripped?” You don’t sound convincing at all, but he goes along with it, and you’ve never been more glad he decided not to question things. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Uh-huh! So I thought we could have some tea?” You quickly change the subject, picking up the futuristic-looking tray and come over to the sitting area, setting it down on the coffee table 

“Sounds good to me” He sits next to you, taking the pot from your hands and pouring two cups, he drops a few sugar cubes into yours and pours a stupid amount of cream in, before handing you the cup and saucer. 

If it’s not tan it’s not right. 

“So what did you need help with?” He takes his own, plain, and sits back on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. He balances the cup and saucer on his leg so perfectly, that you’re almost envious of it. 

“So I don’t know if you know,” You take a sip before setting your cup down and grabbing the envelope from the couch, looking at it. “But it’s my year to be Mrs. Claus”

Steve takes a suspiciously long sip from his tea before setting it down and taking the envelope from you. Inside is everything you’re supposed to do, a little packet of your script, your schedule, and the place where you can pick up the dress Tony bought you. 

“That’s… elaborate” 

“I know!! I’m worried I’m gonna mess it up and scar some kid for life!!” You fall back on the couch, smacking a pillow over your face and Steve chuckles, rubbing your thigh soothingly. You’re glad your face is covered so he doesn’t have to see the intense blush he’s causing. 

“Well, you won’t be scarring any kids, this is an adult party, remember? So really you’ll just be traumatizing a bunch of adults!” 

You kick his leg and he laughs, his hand coming down heavy on your thigh. Seriously what was with him and your thighs?? Maybe he was a thigh man, he kinda seemed like it, when you thought about it, late at night, in the comfort of your own bed…

Anyway. 

“Can you please just help me learn my lines and get the stupid dress” You sit up, tossing the pillow at him and he catches it, setting it to the side. 

“Of course I’ll help you” 

If there’s one thing you’ll say about Steve… he’s extremely organized. As soon as you’re done pouting on his couch he pulls out an old-fashioned chalkboard. You blink slowly, your brain churning immediately with joke after joke and he launches a pillow at your head. 

“This board has helped save your ass more times than you know. Give it some respect!” 

You bow down to it a couple times before putting your hands in your lap

“Okay. Go” 

“Smartass” He mumbles under his breath and you giggle, grabbing your telepad to copy his board. 

“We should first list out all the things you need to do, and what days you should have them done by” 

You copy it down in a nice pink color, he told you it was best to color-code things. As he’s writing you find yourself staring at that poor, poor, shirt doing its best to keep him modest. His waist is so slutty, he probably doesn’t even understand it. You wet your lips, trailing your eyes down appreciably when he suddenly turns around. 

“Did you hear me?” 

“Huh??” You break out of the perverted prison that is your mind and look at his face 

“I said did you want me to come with you to get the dress?” 

“Isn’t it kinda odd Tony is making me pick the dress up? I’d have thought he’d have it sent here and fitted.

Steve goes through the packet, finding the dress information “I thought so too… but he says apparently the people there can tailor it for you on the spot… and that it’s a pretty nice place” 

“I mean I guess…” you shrug “We can go whatever time works for you, I’d love it if you came with” 

“Alright, I suppose we can do that tomorrow around two? We should do that the soonest just in case there’s a lot of alterations to be made” 

“Sounds good to me… what else?” 

Steve plans out your entire week for you, down to the last minute. He makes three contingency plans and even has an idea of where to get a backup dress in case something happens to yours. You get up from the couch and go over to him as he stands aside, you look over your notes and the board, making sure it’s all in order and showing him. 

“Looks like we’re gonna be glued together” You nudge him playfully and he blushes a little

“If that’s okay with you. I know I kind of, inserted myself into the plan a lot”

“Steve,” you roll your eyes, putting your hand on his chest. You can practically feel his heart beating “I asked for your help, of course, you’re going to be a huge part of things” 

Crime apparently knows to stop for Christmas because you haven’t been sent out once. Steve stayed with you all day helping you learn your lines and he had absolutely no problem with this. 

Truth is, he liked being around you. And Bucky constantly wanted to harass him for it because he wouldn’t just make a freaking move?

The lingering glances, and giggling at all of his jokes, Sam and Bucky even devised an incredibly stupid genius plan to make sure you were sitting by him on the couch constantly. Eventually, he loosens up, putting his arm around your shoulders when you sit together, putting you in his lap when “Oh no! There’s not enough room for you” 

He has really…really embarrassing friends. 

And he didn’t miss the way you were wearing one of his hoodies, the way you stayed all snuggled in it, a little part of him hoped you liked it, liked him. 

He was embarrassed to admit seeing you on your knees had done something to him. He dreamed about what you’d look like, on your knees, hair wrapped around his fist, stuffing his cock down your throat, tears streaming down your pretty face. 

He wondered if you felt the same way? If you felt the electricity in the air whenever you two looked at each other? 

“Dude. What are you thinking about?” Sam stops moving around, letting his gloved hands drop and Steve blinks 

“Huh??” He looks around and Sam is pulling off his gloves and taking off his helmet 

“You’re my friend man, I love you, but uh excuse me if I say you’re not exactly my type” He nods downward and Steve looks down with him. His cock is rock hard, straining against his sweatpants and he blushes darkly, putting his gloves in front of his pants. 

“Crap. Shit. Sorry,” He turns away, shucking off his gloves and walking away to put them up.

“It’s fine… it happens. You’re going out with Y/N after this right?” Sam puts his gloves back on the hooks and Steve rolls his eyes 

“Yeah…why?” 

“You sportin’ that for her?” He snickers and Steve shoves him before walking away 

“I’m gonna go shower”

“Yeah make sure you rinse it out real good when you’re done!” 

Steve leans against the wall as he waits for you in the garage, his shower had been less than relaxing and more of a way to try and get you out of his head long enough to be in a small space with you. 

His head turns at the sound of your footsteps coming down the hallway. You smile as soon as you see him, and he melts. You’re in his hoodie, he hadn’t even realized you didn’t give it back and a pair of black leggings. You’re wearing your uniform boots and you’ve got a cute mini backpack.

“Hey sorry I took so long” you smile at him, “I couldn’t find the hairclip I wanted” 

He looks down at you, giving you a once over “You look nice” he says, his voice a little deeper than normal and you blush.

“Oh thanks”

“Shall we?” He takes your hand, leading you over to the car that is waiting to take you to the tailors. He opens the door for you, helping you in and you scoot over, so he can get in with you. For one of Tony’s cars, you realize it’s not as spacious as you thought it would be? You find yourself incredibly close to Steve, his warm body keeping you nice and toasty and you’re not even leaning into him. He makes sure you have your seatbelt on before tapping the window for the driver. 

“I wish he’d have just let me drive,” Steve says “I’m not too into the idea of having a driver” 

You look at your telepad, moving closer to him so that he can see it too and he puts his arm over your shoulders, something he’d gotten used to doing and something you were hoping he would do. 

“Well we kind of have a lot to get done today, maybe he just wanted to make sure we wouldn’t tire ourselves out?”

“I suppose”

You stay cuddled into his side the entire ride, showing him things on your telepad, both of you editing a few things in the schedule. He dips his head low, mumbling in your ear things to erase, things to add. The way his breath ghosts over your ear sends a shiver down your spine. His fingers find their way to your side, tracing little shapes onto the bare skin where your shirt has ridden up.

“Hey my shoes are gonna be there..too…right?” Your voice trails off as you look up at him, his face is so close to yours, that you can feel his soft breaths fanning over your face as you look into each other’s eyes. His are such a pretty shade of blue, they remind you of the waters back on your home planet. 

“They should be… yeah,” He says quietly, your lavender eyes send chills down his spine every time he sees them, you rarely show them, and with your ability to hide the odd color you normally leave them brown. So he likes it when he has the chance to see the pretty shade of purple they normally are. 

“Hey, Y/N?” He asks quietly

“Yeah?” Your voice is just as quiet as he is. He reaches out, cupping your face gently and you lean into him, smiling softly. 

“Can I…can I ki-“

Suddenly the car comes to a stop, parking outside the giant building and you and Steve break apart as the door on your side is opened. You squeeze Steve’s hand before stepping out of the car and thanking the man who shuts the door behind you both before getting back in.

“You ready?” You ask and he takes your hand again, pulling you into the large building 

“Where do you think we should-“

Before you can even finish your sentence a man comes up to you, dressed absolutely flawlessly and suddenly you feel wildly underdressed. 

“Mr. And Mrs. Rogers right? Oh, you two do look adorable together! Tony said to bring you up right away” 

Your mouth gapes, opening and closing and you look up at Steve who’s just as bewildered. He gestures awkwardly and you both follow the man to the elevators.

“I’m Jerry, I’ll be your designer for today” he introduces himself and goes through the steps for the fitting and what will be expected.

“Tony gave us your measurements but I asked for you to come here to make sure it’s perfect, You know? This is the biggest event of the season”

“Uh, I guess so, I think so” You nod along. 

“Are you nervous? I know I would be, god could you imagine having to get up in front of all those people for one of Tony’s entrances? Hell, I practically am! That’s my work you’re gonna be wearing”

“How will you sleep tonight?” Steve chimes in and you turn around, glaring at him and he snickers. You all exit the elevator to a large room, there’s a pedestal in the middle where a beautiful dress sits off to the side and a pair of matching heels. 

“Oh my god” Your hands cover your mouth as he walks you up to it, you walk in a circle, inspecting the gorgeous dress, and sigh. 

“Oh…oh it’s beautiful” 

“That’s stunning” Steve breathes and Jerry looks between the two of you for a second before walking over to the dress and starting to take it off the mannequin. 

“Why don’t you help her into it, hubby? It’s very easy to slip on”

He hands it to Steve who looks like he’s going to die if he even breathes on it 

“Uh no no I’m- no I’m not her-“

“He-he’s not my hus-“

“Off you two go!” Jerry puts the heels in your hand and pushes you off to the dressing rooms 

“Why don’t you try the first part of the dress? There’s a clasp that makes it into the shorter dress you’ll be wearing for the evening, it attaches to your waist. We made it as easy as possible to figure out!” 

With that he shuts you and Steve in the changing room, you hear the sounds of the door locking and you look up at Steve. 

“Just let us know when you’re ready!” 

You wait until you hear Jerry’s retreating footsteps before putting the dress carefully on the provided hanger.

“So I guess Jerry thinks we’re married, that's fun” You smirk as you set your bag down. It’s a good-sized dressing room, there's more than enough room for the both of you in here and then some. 

“I can step out, if you'd like” Steve is practically sweating bullets at this point and he’s praying you don't notice, he's too in his head to even realize you’re doing the same thing. 

“I think this dress was made to need two people to get into it” You smile sheepishly as you remove your hoodie and place it on the fancy chair. That's when it occurs to you just how this room is set up because there's another pedestal in the center and the chair is directly in front of it. You scoot the chair over a bit to make it less suggestive and Steve takes a deep breath. 

“I think we can handle a little awkwardness… We’re the Avengers! We’ve been through worse situations right?”

“Right!” You agree quickly. “We can handle this” 

“Alright. Let's figure out how to get you into this, why don’t you disrobe and I’ll get the dress ready?”

“Okay” 

He turns his back to you and you gulp quietly before removing your shirt, before you’d left Nat had come in with a little box and a wink and literally said nothing else. Was it weird? Oh yeah definitely. But as you take your clothes off you’re suddenly glad you agreed to wear the new lingerie set she’d given you. It’s dark blue, lacy, and sheer and you’re feeling pretty confident in it as you look at yourself in the mirror. 

“I’m ready” You look over your shoulder and Steve turns around 

“Alright, I think I’ve figured out how to disconnect the-“

He stops mid-sentence, his mouth falling open before he quickly shuts it, he clears his throat a couple times and continues, squaring his shoulders and looking straight into your eyes.

“I think I’ve figured out how to disconnect the long part of the dress” he pulls apart the snaps and puts the long part back on the mannequin then turns to you, holding it out. 

“Uh, here you can just- uh- here” He gets on one knee, holding the dress open for you and you walk over to him, putting your hands on his shoulders and stepping into the dress. He pulls it up and secures it around your waist then helps you into the sparkly red heels that match and looks up at you. 

“Does uh… does that feel okay?” He asks, his hands firmly on your hips and you nod. He stands up slowly, towering over you, and helps you into the spaghetti straps. His hands trail over your sides and he reaches for the zipper, closing you into the dress. 

“You ready to see yourself?” 

You nod again, unable to speak and he steps aside, taking your hand and leading you up to the pedestal. You step up and the lights automatically go down around you, leaving you in the spotlight. It suddenly moves you forward closer to the mirrors and you squeak. Steve holds your hand tighter, keeping you steady, and lets it go once the platform stops moving.

“Holy shit” You whisper, because this dress is truly a work of art. The white trim around the neckline and hem seems otherworldly soft. You do a little spin and it poofs up like a princess dress, making you giggle. The skirt is a deep red, it’s very full, making it fall down to about the middle of your thigh. The top is a sweetheart neckline with boning and white stitches outlining the entire thing. 

“How do I look?” You look at Steve in the mirror, his eyes are clouded and lusty as he looks into yours. He shifts a little discretely adjusting his jeans as best he can, trying to focus on you and not the growing bulge in his pants.

“I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful than you right now” his voice is low and seductive. 

You step off the pedestal and the lights come back up slowly, but not all the way, it’s weird but you ignore it in favor of staring at the gorgeous man in front of you who just called you beautiful. 

“You really think so?” You murmur and he nods, reaching his hand out to place on your waist. He pulls you flush against him and places his other hand on your waist, holding you close. 

“I really really think so. You’re, you’re really-“ He gets too flustered to speak and you reach up, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I’m really…?” You encourage him and he blushes, right to the tip of his ears, the tension in the room is heated and lusty, you can feel it flowing over you in thick waves. 

“Uh… sexy. I think I think you look very sexy. And I think that’s what uh- Jerry was trying to achieve with this part of the dress and- and he did it. Very classy, very…very sexy” 

“You have such a way with words Mr. America” You giggle and he leans in, nuzzling his nose against yours. 

“That’s Captain America to you, civilian” 

“You know I was first prime on my planet right?” You whisper, toying with the front of his shirt 

“And?” His hands smooth over your sides, gripping you possessively, like he just has to be holding you, like he wants to feel you and it sends a thrill through your body 

“Oh, It means I outrank you…by a lot. Think of me as a General” 

“You? A General? The same girl I had to pull out of the quicksand because you wanted to see if you could swim in it???”

“I think you’re forgetting the part where I could swim in it” 

“Uh huh and you’re forgetting the part where I had to drag your ass out with a rope because you couldn’t get out” 

“Just keepin’ you on your toes” 

“Right, right let’s maybe not do that huh?” 

You snicker and he rolls his eyes playfully, before looking at you again 

“Permission to speak freely, General Sir?” 

“Permission granted, Captain” 

“Did you… did you wear the uh…um” He clears his throat and you tilt his chin down to look at you 

“Use your words, Captain”

Your words shoot straight down to his cock, he can feel it throbbing in his pants, already rock solid and he licks his lips unconsciously. You slide your hand down his chest, stopping at his belt and tugging on it a little and he groans.

“Did you wear that lingerie on purpose?” 

“I did yeah” You slowly start to unbuckle it, giving him time to stop you but he doesn’t and you smile up at him. 

“It really uh- really brings out the color of your eyes” His voice cracks and you giggle, holding his pants up around his waist and he looks down at you.

“Are we really about to do what I think we’re about to do?” 

“Only if you want to,” you tell him honestly and he takes your hands, putting them around his neck and letting his pants drop. His hands are at your sides, snapping the clips for your skirt and laying it on the chair as nicely as he can while you push down his boxers, and your mouth waters when his cock springs free.

“Oh I definitely want to” 

He hooks his fingers in your panties and tugs them down your legs, tossing them aside. Then he’s pulling you over to the mirrors, pressing you into them as he lines up with your entrance. You squirm, feeling his thick cock head nudging at your hole.

“Oh Stevie” you gasp softly and he groans at your eagerness, he thrusts shallowly, teasing you, stretching you slowly. He can feel your pretty pussy begging for his cock, begging to be used and it takes every ounce of self-control he has not to slam into you immediately. 

He grips your hips, working you on his cock for a minute before sinking into you. Inch by mind-blowing inch, he just keeps coming as he presses into you. Once you’re sure you’re about to pop he finally stops, groaning as he keeps his hips still, savoring the tight flutters of your walls around his cock. You’re so warm and inviting, the feeling of being buried deep inside you making him dizzy with need. 

He finally pulls out teasingly slow, dragging the length of his cock almost all the way out before thrusting back in hard and you yelp, grinding your hips down on his cock

Steve sets a steady rhythm, his hips snapping against you as he drives into you again and again. Your eyes roll back in your head as you lean your head into his shoulder, your thighs shaking weakly. 

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth and tongue leaving marks on your skin as he loses himself in the pleasure. One hand slides up to palm your breast, kneading the soft flesh and pinching your nipple.

You like that, baby? He growls, and your toes curl at the vibrations sent through your body “You like feeling my cock stretching you open?”

His other hand moves between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bud, you keen softly and his trails from your breast to your neck squeezing gently 

“Shhh pretty girl, you don’t want everyone hearing us right?” 

You shake your head as he thrusts into you wildly, his cock pounding into your g spot over and over, making you see stars, You feel that deep familiar pressure starting to simmer at the surface as he smacks your clit, you jump and he chokes the whimper from your throat, keeping you nice and quiet. 

“Fuck you feel better than I ever imagined” His voice cracks, and he lets out a whimper as his thrusts become erratic, he rubs your clit faster, bringing you hurdling to the edge with him, and you both cum. Your cunt squeezes tightly around his fat cock, milking him dry with each harsh thrust into you as he bites down on your shoulder, trying to keep himself quiet.

He fucks you through your orgasm, your legs dangling as he lifts you onto his cock, he just keeps cumming and cumming, it spills down your thighs as he stuffs you full, his orgasm crashing over him in intense waves. You kick off your shoes to save them watching the way his cum drips down your thighs, dripping from your toes onto the hardwood floors. 

Steve staggers over to the chair, collapsing down on it and holding you close to his chest, both of you panting into each other. You kiss him softly, trailing wet kisses down his jaw and he smiles, letting his head fall back.

“You think they heard us?” He asks quietly as you suck a pretty bruise onto his neck. His fingers trail over the bruises on your hips, trying to soothe them and you shrug. 

“I’m not sure…this room seems pretty secure” 

“We’ve also been in here for like…half an hour” 

You groan embarrassedly and bury your face in his neck “Maybe they don’t know?” 

“We’ll just tell Jerry we couldn’t figure out how to get it on” Steve offers and you relax into his arms, nodding along. 

“Yeah okay, that should work” 

“Actually it won’t.” 

You shriek as Jerry unlocks the door and a little tea cart is pushed in with a stick. There’s a new set of lingerie for you, that suspiciously matches the dress and a new set of boxers for Steve, that also suspiciously matches your dress. There’s a stack of warm towels, three packages of baby wipes, and a wastebasket. 

“Whenever you’re ready darlings!” 

He doesn’t lock the door this time and it all comes crashing down on you.

“They planned this didn’t they” You whisper in horror and Steve looks back at the cart, there’s more than enough supplies to…clean things up and he knows Bucky had a hand in this as well. 

“They did, yeah.” 

[host-hubliminal]

>>START_LOG:

HostLog_10:

Subject: Host 2.6

Name: Clock

Species: Alarm Clock(?)

Source: It’s Time For The It’s Time For The It’s Time For The It’s Time For The It’s Time For The For The For The For The The // Channel 57

Gender: Unknown

Pronouns: he/him (source needed) ANY (source info from commentator on this post)

Description:

Clock is a mint-colored, traditional-faced alarm clock. Clock is notable due to having heavy algebrien features; much like Host 2.7, despite their dimensions not being near one another. Clock’s limbs are slim, lighter than his body color and resemble that of a mouse in structure, despite having notable paw pads. Clock has a cord plug tail.

It is worth noting that Clock’s current appearance differs from his (possible) previous appearance, which lacked the distinct algebrien features and instead was fully an object, implying that this transformation could happen to any ordinary object under the right circumstances. His past object appearance had more accurate mouse-like limbs. It is unknown if his past object appearance had a tail.

Surprisingly, his behavior is more like an algebrien in mannerisms than that of an Object. His speech is quick, choppy, and will sometimes seem to layer out of nowhere. Clock does not mess around when it comes to being quick about things and is very time-oriented.

[Addendum./ Wow. Like. Who the FUCK comes up with the names for these guys. Clock? Being a Clock? And being time oriented? What is this, a kids show? Next thing we know he’s going to get up and sing a song about time. Wow. Fuck man. My life feels like a joke knowing that this fucker is real, alive, and exists. Don’t even get me STARTED on Four and X being a number and a variable who are both obsessed with MATH. The most obvious fucking shit on the planet. I mean who just gives birth to a child and goes ‘oh yeah let’s call this one Clock because he’s a clock’. The only somewhat normal one here is Airy. He’s the only one whose name ISN’T the same as his object, but I’m also 80-90% sure he’s a ghost or something because he barely talks and has said he’s died twice. God. I don’t get paid enough for this bullshit.]

Clock is unpredictable. Unlike Host 2.9, his chaoticness is not out of violence, but at the same time he is proven to be capable of doing heavy damage. Like Host 2.8, Clock’s chaoticness is emotionally tied, but stronger and more exaggerated. 

Known Abilities:

Clock’s abilities mirror that of a standard algebrien. Only things worth noting is that his tail can extend long distances and he can ‘abstract’ objects much like Host 2.9. Whether or not this is due to their dimensions being in close proximity to one another is up for debate.

Another thing to note is his… ‘quality errors’. Static, bursts of sudden form changing, and the like. Sometimes these will get violent but so far they only seem to affect Clock and nobody else around him. Whether or not this is an ability or more of just a condition Clock has is up for debate.

Procedures to take:

A mix of Algebrien and Object power hindrance protocols will be put into place. Force may be applied if deemed necessary.

END_LOG.

[marzipanandminutiae]

hate this brutalism discourse (am on your side before that phrasing scares you lol) like the only people I have ever seen criticizing brutalism are in situations where people are changing or dismantling houses or features that already exist. and brutalism is a style so like if you’re using the word brutalist that inherently implies that you’re not talking about buildings that look that way out of necessity, it implies that you’re talking about a stylistic choice and choosing that style over others. an unfortunately, that style is simply ugly

Yes exactly.

Here's the thing of it for me. If you like brutalism, fantastic. Amazing. I genuinely wish you the concrete-est, grayest, cube-iest gray concrete cube home to ever grace the earth. And in conversations about public architecture, your voice has a place at the table. It's public! Taste is subjective! I and my mental scrapbook full of High Victorian Madness HousesTM deserve to be there, and so do you with your concrete cubes. And so does everyone except those developers who throw up shoddy glass temples to get-rich-quick real estate schemes. Amen.

However. How. Ever. Your personal aesthetic taste is not deeper than just that. And saying that someone must care more about aesthetics than human life just because they say "wow, I sure wish that housing were in a different style, personally!" is just moral clout-chasing on the Nothing Is Nuanced website.

(also speaking of brutalism destroying existing buildings, a moment of silence for Boston's own Scollay Square, once full of working-class housing and businesses)

(1880s)

(1940s)

(which was torn down to build this)

(Older buildings in the foreground were not part of Scollay Square; it was where the skyscrapers and our brutalist City Hall are today)

[baileypie-writes]

Hello. How about those sunshine villain friend!Reader headcanons, but this time with Star Twinkle Cures?

A/N ~ Sure! Hope you enjoy!

~The Star Twinkle Pretty Cure With a Sunshine Villain Friend~

~~~💫~~~💫~~~💫~~~

Fandom: Star☆Twinkle Pretty Cure

Fanfic Type: Headcanons

Reader: Gender neutral, a villain, heavily implied to be an alien

Relationship: Platonic

Characters Included: Hikaru Hoshina/Cure Star, Lala Hagoromo/Cure Milky, Elena Amamiya/Cure Soleil, Madoka Kaguya/Cure Selene, Yuni/Cure Cosmo

Genre: Fluff, a pinch of angst

Word Count: 1,899

Warnings: Spoilers for Yuni’s backstory, possibly OOC Elena, Madoka and Yuni.

~Masterlists~

~Star☆Twinkle Pretty Cure Masterlist~

~~~💫~~~💫~~~💫~~~

~Hikaru Hoshina/Cure Star~

~~~⭐️~~~⭐️~~~⭐️~~~

~ Hikaru wants to befriend everyone she can both on Earth and in space. So she couldn’t care less that you’re evil. Sure, you were working to practically destroy the universe, but she thought you were worth getting to know, and hopefully, change! You sure made it easy being your friend too. It was hard to believe that someone as sweet as you was a villain!

Hikaru: “A Notraider? No way! You’re joking right?”

(name): “Nope! I’m a Notraider!”

Hikaru: “Wow! I would’ve never expected that! You’re so nice!”

(name): “Haha! My team often says I’m too nice!”

~ Most encounters the you two share outside of battle is purely happy and kind. Neither of your jobs are ever brought up by her, as she only wants to have fun! If anyone else tries arguing with you, she’s quick to scold them. You’ve been nothing but kind(minus the attacks on Earth and space), so you don’t deserve to be ridiculed!

Madoka: “Why is (name) here?”

Hikaru: “Because they’re our friend!”

Madoka: “But they’re, you know…”

Hikaru: “What? The nicest person ever? Yeah, they really are!”

~ Hikaru believes that there must be a reason as to why you chose your path. And she’s determined to find out. But instead of pushing you for info, she just talks to you like a friend. She hopes that if she gets close enough with you, then your backstory will slip out!

Hikaru: “So, where are you from?”

(name): “Nowhere special. What about you? Have you lived here your whole life? It sure is a nice town!”

Hikaru: “Yeah, it is! But you totally changed the subject!”

~ Whenever you help the Pretty Cure or innocent bystanders out, Cure Star’s overjoyed! It’s proof to her that you’re not all bad, and that you don’t actually want to hurt others. She always gives you a big hug afterwards, thanking you for your support.

Cure Star: “Eee, (name)! You were so cool! You really helped us out back there!”

(name): “Of course I did. You’re my friends!”

Cure Star: “See guys, I told you they’re not acting! They really are nice!”

~~~⭐️~~~⭐️~~~⭐️~~~

~Lala Hagoromo/Cure Milky~

~~~🚀~~~🚀~~~🚀~~~

~ After finding out that you’re a Notraider, Lala was very confused. Your personality didn’t match with your job. Yuni even nearly convinced her that your kindness was fake. But after getting to know you better, that possibility never crossed her mind.

Lala: “You really think they’re faking ~lun?”

Yuni: “I’m positive. There’s no way a Notraider can be that nice.”

Lala: “I don’t know… it seems pretty real to me, but you could be right ~lun.”

~ She mostly just does what Hikaru does; not mentioning your occupation outside of Pretty Cure related business. It does make it easier to have fun. She often finds herself forgetting until someone brings it up. She gets quite annoyed when that happens, as she sees it as the happy moments being ruined.

Lala: “If you hate (name) so much, then you can just go away ~lun!”

Yuni: “Oh, well excuse me for not wanting to be around the bad guy!”

Hikaru: “Lala! Yuni! Please cut it out!”

~ She especially gets along with you better if you’re also an alien. She’ll ask you about your planet, curious about your origin. If you don’t want to talk about it, she’ll talk about Saman instead. While she wants to know about your home place, she doesn’t want to be pushy.

Lala: “This is how we greet each other in Saman ~lun!”

(name): “Oh, cool!”

Lala: “How do your people greet each other ~lun?”

(name): “We do this!”

~ It throws Cure Milky through a loop whenever you help her and her team out. It doesn’t make sense to her as to why you’d help out the opposite side, but she’s happy nonetheless. And she’s always quick to thank you afterwards.

Cure Milky: “Thanks for saving me ~lun! But be careful next time, because I nearly hit you with my Milky Shock ~lun!”

(name): “It’s no problem! And I definitely will. That looks like it hurts!”

~~~🚀~~~🚀~~~🚀~~~

~Elena Amamiya/Cure Soleil~

~~~☀️~~~☀️~~~☀️~~~

~ Elena is always positive about embracing differences. So even though you’re from the opposite side of the battlefield, she still makes an effort to be kind and respectful to you. Even if you’re fighting face to face, she never shows any distain towards you. After all, you’re sweet and kind, so it’s only right to match your energy.

(name): “Good morning Elena!”

Elena: “Oh, good morning (name). How are you doing?”

(name): “I’m pretty good. How about you? How’s your family?”

Elena: “They’re all good!”

~ Another reason as to why she’s so kind to you, is because she feels bad for you. Every Notraider has a similar reason as to why they chose their path. They either have a hatred for their own planet, or other planets. And there’s always a sad backstory as to why. So Elena knows that’s most likely the case for you. So she hopes that becoming your friend will help heal you, and hopefully help you turn a new leaf.

Elena: “Do you ever wonder why (name) chose to become a villain?”

Madoka: “Yes, at times.”

Elena: “I mean, when you think about it, there has to be a good reason. Remember Tenjo? What if they had a similar life that made them choose to be a Notraider?”

Madoka: “I never thought of that. That could be the case.”

~ She really has a way with words. So she tries using it to her advantage. You’re given many talks by her, trying to make you switch to the good side. She desperately wants you to leave the dark side, but that doesn’t show in her words. She remains calm and collected, even when you reject her offer for the millionth time.

Elena: “It just feels like a waste for such a kind person to be fighting for such a bad cause.”

(name): “I honestly think it’s a necessary cause.”

Elena: “Are you absolutely sure though?”

(name): “Yes.”

Elena: *sigh* “Okay then.”

~ When receiving help from you, Cure Soliel is not only happy, but very proud. The fact that you care so much about your friends and the innocent, that you’d fight your own side for them fills her with hope and gladness. It’s just another reason for her to believe that you can be changed.

Cure Soleil: “Thanks for getting my siblings to safety, (name)! That was so kind of you!”

(name): “You’re my friend, so of course I’d save your family, silly!”

Cure Soleil: “Not such a bad guy, are you? Haha!”

~~~☀️~~~☀️~~~☀️~~~

~Madoka Kaguya/Cure Selene~

~~~🌙~~~🌙~~~🌙~~~

~ Madoka is always a logical thinker. So she was not a supporter of you at first. It didn’t matter how much nice energy radiated off of you. You were evil, and that was that. But of course, your kindness wore her down, and she couldn’t help but be your friend.

Elena: “I thought you said you weren’t gonna get close to (name)? So why are you hanging out with us if we’re with them?”

Madoka: “I don’t know. I just always seem to end up in their company.”

Hikaru: “Awww, is someone becoming their friend?”

Madoka: “I suppose so.”

~ While she likes you, she’s still always careful not to reveal any important information about the Pretty Cure to you. While you may be nice to them, you’re also nice to the other Notraiders. So there’s a pretty good chance that you’d share that information to help them. So she never lets anything slip. You’re not allowed on the spaceship either. She’s always gentle and kind about it, though.

Madoka: “Sorry, (name). But this as far as I can allow you to go. We have some important Pretty Cure business we have to discuss.”

(name): “Oh, I see. That’s fine! I have a meeting I have to go to anyway! See you!”

Madoka: “Good day.”

~ Madoka isn’t one to prod into other people’s business. So while she wishes you’d turn to the good side, she just leaves it alone. Besides, some of her other friends are trying to persuade you themselves. Why add more stress and pressure? She even talks to them about getting off your back sometimes.

Madoka: “I know you want to get (name) to join us, but don’t you think you’re being too… um… pushy?”

Elena: “Yeah, I guess I kinda am. I’ll try to tone it down.”

Madoka: “Great. I think it’s for the best.”

~ Cure Selene is always taken aback whenever she receives help from you. She knows you’re dedicated to your job and its cause, so it confuses her as to why you’d fight against it, even if it was for a moment. It warms her heart when you tell her the reason, though. It truly makes her glad that she became friends with you. You’re genuinely a kind person.

Cure Selene: “Won’t you get in trouble for this?”

(name): “Probably. But you’re my friend, and I don’t want you getting hurt!”

Cure Selene: “You’re truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever known, (name).”

~~~🌙~~~🌙~~~🌙~~~

~Yuni/Cure Cosmo~

~~~🐾~~~🐾~~~🐾~~~

~ Yuni refused to let herself like you. You work on the same team as the alien who turned everyone on her planet into stone. You may have had nothing to do with it, but she didn’t care. She was even convinced that your kindness was fake. She thought there was no way a Notraider could be a walking ray of sunshine. She never talked to you, and she minimized eye contact as well. If she knew your location, she’d stay far away from it.

Hikaru: “Hey Yuni! Do you wanna go-“

Yuni: “Will (name) be there?”

Hikaru: “Yes, but-“

Yuni: “Then count me out.”

~ You, being the kind person you are, tried your best to respect her wishes. However, a certain pink-haired girl didn’t. She always found a way to make the two of you bond, whether Yuni liked it or not. So, while it took way longer than it did for others, your rays of sunshine eventually peeked through the cracks of the wall that she had put between you.

Hikaru: “Yuni, (name), will you two go get some donuts for while we’re working?”

(name): “Um-“

Hikaru: “Thanks! Bye!”

Yuni: “She didn’t even let us respond.”

(name): “That’s Hikaru for you!”

Yuni: “Haha! I guess you’re right!”

~ Even after breaking the ice, she’s still a bit distant. A part of it is because she feels awkward from how she acted previously. But even so, she’s still nice. She now understands that the fate of her planet wasn’t your fault, so she lets go of her hatred. You’re friends now, so there’s no need to blame you for something you didn’t do.

(name): “What’s your planet like?”

Yuni: “…”

(name): “Ah! I’m so sorry! I forgot!”

Yuni: “It’s okay. Do you still want to know?”

(name): “Oh, yeah!”

~ Cure Cosmo only grows closer to you after you help her or the innocent during battle. She’s proud of you, though she’d never admit it. Your powers combined obliterate the threat with no problems, so the fact that you’re also a great team together is another reason to like you even more. A small celebration with donuts always follows your victories!

Cure Cosmo: “We were so awesome! Hey, why don’t you join the Pretty Cure (name)?”

(name): “Haha! Nice try! But I’m very dedicated to my team.”

Cure Cosmo: “Eh, you’re loss.”

~~~🐾~~~🐾~~~🐾~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[master-of-the-game]

seeing you make oil paintings of elim garak has changed something about the way i perceive art, both in what others make but also in what i am capable of making.

it’s probably due to learning mostly euro-centric art history, but i’ve always thought of oil paintings as like the peak of painting ability? like, it’s fancy and it takes a while so i thought that it must be the best (ignoring the fact that my artistic field is mostly in acrylic paints and 3D sculpting and yet i still consider it very good). and i’m still working on disproving this sort of mentality that there are mediums inherently better than others, because it’s incredibly limiting to my creativity to impose a higharchy, and also it feels kind of xenophobic.

i digress a bit. point is, i’ve viewed oil paintings as a medium only deserving of gallery-type realistic portrait stuff, which is very much not what i do. i don’t make the sorts of fancy art rich people would pay for- the type of art i thought oils were for. i make paintings of comic book characters and sculptures of my personal heroes, i make jewelry and clothes and stuffed animals. stuff that i enjoy. which is good!

but still somewhere lurking in my brain was this voice telling me that on some level my works weren’t as meaningful or creative because they were fan works or made from materials i’m not an expert in or because the only people i draw and paint and sculpt are queer and trans, like me. that because my art was self-indulgent, on some level i suppose i thought it lesser.

but then i see your art. and holy shit! you’re work is INCREDIBLE! at first i was excited because, hey, i’m a big star trek fan, and garak is one of my favorite characters. i love coming across fan art of him, and it always manages to strike a chord with me. but then. as i looked at it closer, i realized it was on canvas. as i scrolled down i realize it was oil on canvas.

before, i’d pretty much only seen fanart as sketches on paper or digital drawings. one that is really only meant art-wise for quick sketches or planning of what will become “real” works, and one that doesn’t actually take up any physical space in our world, and is stored away in a little digital file.

but oil on canvas? that’s not meant to be thrown away, it’s meant to be held in gloved hands, as it is precious, and it’s not meant to be hidden away in the “files” on a laptop. no, those hang on the walls of museums or houses, meant to be displayed with pride for all to see.

and with those too colliding thoughts, that of fan works as some lesser form of art but oil paintings being the art of the rich and talented… well i realized that both were wrong. fan works are not in any way shape or form lesser than original works. what makes my layered ink painting of dream of the endless any less important than my painting of the ocean during a storm? nothing! they’re both good works. and on the other side, there is nothing that makes my oil paintings more important than my acrylic paintings or my sculpture or my knitting. it’s all art, lovely art, in the end. and the only thing that really matters is that i enjoy it.

seeing your art has helped me break some (minor) yet harmful thoughts i didn’t really even realize i had. so thank you for that. also your garak art is fucking good, and it really makes me think about what sort of life he would have after ds9. anyways, thank you. that’s what i’ve been meaning to say (that’s what this whole thing is). thanks for changing my vision for the better.

Oh wow! You know, it is very important and gratifying to know that results of your work make person rearrange their thoughts and views on something. Thank you for your sincerity! Now back to subject. I personally believe that fan work can be something fine and vice versa something fine can be a fan work. One thing that is very important to remember and remind yourself is that most of fine art that you've mentioned - gallery and most famous works (at least in european tradition) - are, well, derivative. Of Bible, of ancient myths. Yes. All this stuff can be considered maybe not fanart - but it is a subject for discussion - but illustration at least. And it is still fine art. Book illustrations - oh well. Sometimes I want to hang them on the wall, especially old ones. So - why not? Fan work always has a connotation of something derivative, and it certainly is... But just as well as most of the most prominent works. Dixi :D So that's the matter. Medium of course matters but medium does not always define the subject of art (except for common sense), as you've said. It's just maybe the cost of medium (some watercolor brushes for some reason cost... ehm. Too much :D) that defines its price, but not necessarily. I like thinking about this issue and discussing it... Plenty room for ideas. Thank you!

[yippeesizedifgohard]

best friends

this was inspired by this post bc it gave me the juices and i just had to write something with it...the potential was too great

-------

Nikki and Simon were best friends. Ever since kindergarten, the pair had never been apart. They each completed each other in a way. Nikki had never been all that good at communicating with others, especially not when she was younger. That was mostly caused by a speech impediment, leaving Nikki insecure and afraid that people would make fun of her. Oftentimes, that left Simon to do all the talking, which he was completely happy to do.

"Friends don't let friends be scared," He'd say with a wink whenever Nikki hid from someone new.

But now they were older, and Nikki had grown into a better, more well-adjusted teen. She had eliminated her speech impediment for the most part, and she had grown to be far more comfortable with people other than Simon, even if she didn't know them. Simon, though, hadn't changed. He still acted childishly and foolishly, often not thinking about the consequences of his actions before he did them. He got rougher with the ways he showed affection, always squeezing his hugs a little tight or hurting someone with what was intended as a playful slap on the back. Nikki had heard something about him tackling another person to the ground, but she hoped it wasn't true.

He had all these crazy ideas that usually ended in careless destruction, like her fifteenth birthday when he broke in through the window at six in the morning just so he could be the first to wish her a happy birthday. It was a sweet gesture, but the shards of glass that littered her floor after told a different story.

The worst of it was when Nikki could tell he was feeling bad about something, but when she asked he'd change the subject.

All of that was fine with Nikki, of course. She knew that he was still a good person. He was still a good friend, even if emotions made him run and he was never vulnerable with her. That didn't bother her. It didn't bother her at all.

...

Okay, maybe just a little. But Nikki had gotten closer to finally getting Simon to be real and not just some cartoon facade he put on to make himself seem more fun.

That was, until he found a raygun at a pawnshop and decided he wanted to surprise test it on Nikki.

He had asked her to meet him at their childhood playground, right by the swings they had shared many conversations on. She agreed, and she instantly spotted him when she made it to the park.

"Nikki! I bought something from the pawner!" Simon waved, kicking his legs out on the swing. She stood in front of him.

"What even is that?" She asked, pointing at the raygun.

"I don't know what it does," he admitted, fiddling with it in his hands, "but I was hoping we could test it out together?" He looked at her with a glow in his eyes.

"Okay, sure. I haven't got much else to do." Nikki shrugged.

"Great. Now hold still." He closed one eye and aimed the raygun at her.

"Wait, wha-"

ZAP.

Nikki closed her eyes the minute the bright light had fired, but after a few minutes, she opened them again. The mulch ground of the park now looked far, far bigger than it should have been, and as Nikki's heat began to pound in her chest, she looked up to see Simon squatting over her.

"Wow. Now you're really short." He snickered, setting the raygun down. "There's no way I could've guessed it would do this! This is so cool! Look at how tiny and cute you are!" Nikki's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. How could this have even happened? It wasn't scientifically possible! She was snapped out of her thoughts as the shadow of Simon's hand descended upon her. She yelped, though she didn't scream, and pushed his fingers away. It did almost nothing, as Simon was quick to scoop her up.

She resisted the urge to scream again when he brought her right up close to his face and she saw a scratch on it which only reminded her more of his carelessness.

"S-Simon..." She stuttered, uncaring that her impediment had returned. "Ple-please...put-put me down." Her voice was at a whimper.

"Huh? It's...it's me, Nikki." He sounded nervous, which made her even more nervous. "It's just me-"

"That's-That's exactly the problem!" She yelped, and he pulled his face back a little in shock.

"What...do you mean?" His lower lip twitched, and for a minute Nikki thought she could see his eyes gloss over.

"Simon- you-you're loud! And clumsy! And you hurt people all the time without realizing it! I-I don't want my life in you're hands! Especially- Especially not if you're going to treat it like it's funny that now I'm the size of your finger!" She shakes as she says it, but letting it out makes her feel better. "Just- for once in your life! Treat this seriously!" Simon doesn't look at her, his fingers twitching.

"You know I'd never hurt you," Simon said, biting his lip, "right? You do know that, right?" He still couldn't look at her. Nikki glanced away, thinking about all the times he had grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her someplace he thought was cool, the times when she had come home bruised on the back from when he thought something was particularly funny and slapped her on the back. She looked at him and finally recognized the doubt on his face. At least he was taking this seriously.

"You're...scared of me?" Simon finally looked at her, sounding very close to tears. "I know I can be a lot...and I can be careless, but I-I'd...I thought you liked it?" Nikki slumped, feeling gross. "You...I...I can be gentle...with you." Nikki still couldn't look at him, now overcome with the weight of guilt. She felt humiliated and scared and guilty all at the same time.

"God...I'm such a coward," she admitted quietly to herself.

"No, no you're not...I'm the coward. I-I never took anything seriously, and that was wrong-"

"No, I-I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. That was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm just so tired...tired of feeling like you're acting like you're okay when I know you aren't." Nikki sighed in his hand.

"I...Sometimes I feel bad. Like the time I broke your window. But I don't know how to say sorry." Simon admitted, sitting on the ground after setting Nikki down. "I just feel like...maybe sometimes you don't want me around anymore."

"No! That's not true at all!" Nikki was quick to say. "I'd never want you out of my life! You were my first friend! There's no way I wouldn't want you around anymore!"

"You...do you mean that?" Simon asked, leaning forward.

"Yeah. You mean a lot to me."

"Thanks. You, uh, you mean a lot to me too."

[monstersinthecosmos]

Hi!! I would love to hear your thoughts about Marius' experience of captivity and how this affects his relationship with Armand. You alluded to this in Gallows Bird and I think that's a super interesting thread to pull

[ Let me drop these two fics real quick to get it out of the way for reference sorry if this is obnoxious LOL but Gallows Bird (Marius/Armand) and The Lotus Eater (Armand/Daniel) !! ]

Asdgahsdk oh boy

I have so many deep nuanced feelings about Marius de Romanus so be patient with me while I try to sketch this all out, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!

So one thing I want to mention off the bat, which is not necessarily canon VC but is relevant to my fics and how I write, is that I process a lot of ND/ADHD stuff when I write, and this goes way back before I even knew I had ADHD. So even going back to like my earlier VC fics from like 5-6 years ago, I think I was constantly inserting traits of myself into my fics and trying to process them in the way that I thought they were just character flaws at the time. AND LIKE this is also relevant because I wrote Gallows Bird to be directly correlating to my Devil’s Minion fics. For example, in The Lotus Eater, one of my huge emotional cornerstones in that fic/me talking about my own perceived character flaws, was the “he had been careless with this boy” theme. And I repeated that in Gallows Bird on purpose to link them lol. So that example is like, I was really inspired by like how ADHD can ruin things on accident; like you don’t take care of something, miss a deadline, break something by being careless even though you DO CARE. At the time when I wrote The Lotus Eater I had no idea about ADHD so I just thought it was like this bad part of my personality that I was really struggling with. I am more forgiving of that now.

And I connect this also to Marius in Gallows Bird because like, something I really struggled with as a person is like the ND/ADHD impulse to like RELATE TO PEOPLE when they’re trying to talk, like bringing up my own experience as a way to say “Something like this happened to me too so I can empathize with you”, which is always well intentioned! And I’ve seen so much convo from ND folks that struggle with this because NT folks tend to misunderstand it as changing the subject/being narcissistic/whatever.

Anyway!!!!!!!!! Sorry for that preamble but I’m saying that like, I kind of approach writing Marius as a mix of canon & projection, because yknow it’s my fuckin story and I feel like it lol but I think like the fun of fanfic and what makes people’s styles unique and interesting is our mix of perspectives and personalities and like how we choose to fill in the blanks in canon or interpret characters, right?

Canon Marius makes a few comments when he meets Armand about how like, this is someone who is as bruised and damaged as he is, and someone who can heal him, and he feels their souls understand each other. And Canon Marius is like, arrogant enough (by his own admission!) to see the absolute HORRIFIC trauma the Armand went through and go “Oh yeah I had horrific trauma too.”

How do we compare Armand’s trauma to Marius’s trauma? Idk. No one can answer that because we all respond to trauma differently. So I think to some extent there’s some headcanon territory here of how everyone interprets Marius, and do we believe him that his trauma was SO SEVERE that it IS on par with what’s happened to Armand? Or do we believe what he went through isn’t so bad/was 1500 years ago and he’s being obnoxious by comparing the two because he should be healed by now?

I’d also ask like, to what extent is neither true/is it not that fucking deep, like is Marius simply saying “wow this looks really bad, I want to know him for centuries so he has time to grow and heal”; like perhaps Marius at this point sees his captivity & murder as this awful thing that happened to him 1500 years ago and maybe it feels sort of disconnected.

BUT I DON’T KNOW, the thing about Marius is that he’s so fucking stoic! Like I know I’ve brought it up a couple times recently but it’s because I was reading some Marcus Aurelius to put in Gallows Bird lol so using that to like fill in some blanks with Marius, he reads like someone who is constantly trying to rationalize away his own emotions. And like! IDK! Maybe beliefs about psychology are always a phases or temporary until we learn more, but reading him in 2023 I just call bullshit on that! It doesn’t work that way! So who’s to say that his 1500 year old trauma isn’t actually still very close to the surface, and who’s to say he can’t be easily retraumatized whenever it comes up because he’s never meaningfully recovered?

AND LIKE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED TRAUMA THE AFTERMATH IS SO OFTEN ABOUT JUST FINDING CONTROL OVER WHATEVER YOU CAN, NO MATTER HOW USELESS OR UNHEALTHY IT IS. And that's also the sort of central thesis of Gallows Bird; giving Armand a space to process his trauma where he's in control. And for Marius it's just really sad how often he tries to control his own personality, his own feelings, his own mask, the way people perceive him, and it's such a struggle for him that it always eventually collapses.

I want to pause here for a second too and bring up a couple old posts I’ve written so I’m not repeating myself too much LOL but let’s also consider:

Trauma Hole Theory and if vampires are stuck forever within the trauma of their turning

Marius & Armand’s equal-opposite religious trauma

Marius’s struggle with feeling emotion

I think if we start dissecting ANY vampire in VC we’ll see thematic ways that their turning has traumatized them forever, between the violence/trauma around the act itself but also whatever ways they’ve been frozen as their mortal selves. Lestat is a perpetually insecure 20 year old who can’t emotionally regulate and must prove himself to everybody, Louis is someone who didn’t want to live at all and was given eternal life rather than death, Armand is deeply wounded and fucked up but is having like 2 years of relative peace and safety. And Marius is like, older, has lived life, knows what he’s losing and gaining, and has his entire worldview shattered after spending a year resenting religious zealots only to find out that everything they believed was true.

So I bring all these points up because I don’t think there’s a simple answer or a direct correlation here. Marius recognizes that they’ve each suffered a trauma, but he hasn’t really dealt with his own in a meaningful way, therefore he is not equipped to help Armand deal with his either.

I constantly go back to when Marius hits him after they come back from Kiev and I think this really hammers it home for me—Marius is someone who wants to strangle all of his emotions into submission, and he’s really trying to believe that it’s a matter of willpower to simply NOT FEEL THINGS. So much of Marcus Aurelius is about this! AND IN SOME WAYS LIKE, YEAH THIS IS MAYBE AN ANCIENT VERSION OF CBT??? Like we do CBT to patiently teach ourselves to think differently, but it’s obviously not as easy as simply shutting your emotions off or bullying yourself out of feeling any. And he’s trying SO SO hard to be this way, and it doesn’t work, so it’s not going to work on Armand either!

And like it’s not Marius simply being a dickhead, simply being abusive; I do think he’s really trying, but he’s fucking lost! HE HAS LIVED LIES! And god it just really hurts to see him as someone who struggles with this shit and who lies to himself about it, LIKE WHO HASN’T BEEN THERE? How many of us who struggle with mental health haven’t had those moments like, those tiny glimpses seeing behind the veil and being honest with yourself, but being so fucking powerless and not knowing what to do with it.

I know I’ve personally had moments of realization like “I am going to be like this forever” and it’s SO defeating, and imagining that sentiment for someone who will LIVE FOREVER just hurts me so bad!

We see this trope in media sometimes—certainly it’s based in real life!—of parents projecting onto children, trying to correct mistakes by breaking a cycle, but which only serves to treat their child like an extension of themselves and not a whole individual. So I think of that, too—Marius seeing himself in someone who was also abducted, and even though he also plans to turn Armand, he wants it to be beautiful and gentle! (He even changes his mind about it several times before he does it in a panic because Armand is dying! {this is heavily referenced in Gallows Bird because he realizes he's fucked Armand up to much to let him live anyway.} ) He also is sorta trying to fake it till he makes it with all this emotional stuff; like even though he KNOWS he can’t simply shut emotions off, he’s still trying to teach Armand to. And going back to Marius being a lil arrogant, I think sometimes he does project himself onto other people, or treat people better if they remind him of himself. So like, projecting some wounded version of himself onto Armand to try to rescue, vs risking it all for Lestat a few centuries later because someone who reminds him of himself actually WANTS to be rescued.

The IRONY too that like he spends his whole time in captivity as a skeptic, not believing that there is a God in the Grove, and for that entity to turn out to be a vampire!!! Marius presenting HIMSELF as a god-figure to Armand, but trying to be safe and friendly about it! I don’t know man I’m really fucking hsdkjgladsghkjl upset right now lol

And after all that like, not really knowing what exactly happened to Armand to indoctrinate him into the cult, just knowing that he’s thriving with them, that he gave it all up to be their leader, is such a betrayal of everything and so traumatizing!

Gosh.

Anyway.

I DON’T’ KNOW WHERE TO START I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO END, THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKS ME UP I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION LOL

[asherlockstudy]

Hi, I'm the We're Still Doing It-Anon, thank you for answering! Now I just hopped in here to suggest you might enjoy the new Flashback with Smosh video with Rhett and Link, especially towards the later part of it. They were so unsure about the "are you happy" question and kept changing the subject lol

Thanks for bringing it to my attention! It was a very interesting watch.

The “happy” part was certainly the juiciest part. Smosh openly expressed that they doubted they were being sincere when they said they were happy and eventually Link admitted they were lying and Rhett agreed they were only manifesting it. So, it is, canon fact, that they don’t feel happy. Given the context of the interview, I assume it was mostly from a creative perspective, but they were so stone faced, it was like they were struggling to force their faces into a smile. Real feel of unhappiness there, which is odd from dudes who supposedly count their blessings in every turn. Not so odd however if we remember once again Rhett’s old and very serious statement in Ear Biscuits “We are fundamentally sad people”. Which, by the way, was not said just for career creative aspirations at that time.

Other important moments IMO:

Rhett was quick to clarify they themselves wrote “We’re Still Doing It” and their crew was not involved at all. Yeah. Why am I not surprised.

I felt a little validated during watching the first GMM, current Link caught my eye as he was watching. He looked to me very pensive, melancholic while watching their younger selves. I thought “wow why does Link look so freaking sad he looks like he’s thinking so many things rn” and I kinda had a guess more or less but then I was like “okay you probably are overanalysing and misinterpreting, Link has a natural downwards lip curve, he’s fine” and just as I had persuaded myself I am imagining things , Link wiped a tear which he described as “sympathetic”. So yeah, turns out I wasn’t imagining things 👍

And of course right after discussing their huge hopes for the show and after the confession that they are not happy but they are manifesting it (which imo is directly linked to what they want to achieve with the show), Smosh gave them this R&L custom boxer figurines and after failing to make them fight, Link spent the next five minutes rubbing boxer!randl to each other, made them kiss (smosh added hearts), he also made them make some questionable motions and then had boxer doll Rhett give a long speech of love, devotion and admiration to boxer doll Link. Rhett was very chill with all that, this time. He only joked Link was having too much fun with this boxer set. The guys who feel uncomfortable with being shipped lol. These dudes beg to be shipped.

Those leg expansions were making Link feel a little uneasy.

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @m1ckeyb3rry

Your match IS...

— Chigiri Hyoma

✦ …………………………………..

✦ …….. I rewrote the whole matchup……

✦ …… because I realized halfway through that my first choice wasn’t the right one at all :D

✦ YAY.

✦ I think this is the first time I’ve ever done a complete rewind like this.

✦ It doesn’t bother me because I prefer being accurate in my choices, but wow, I didn’t expect it, lol.

✦ SO.

✦ Back to square one.

✦ I’ll explain at the end of the post why I changed direction, but essentially the only other choice that came to mind while reading your description was the red panther. It perfectly fits all the traits you love and hate in people. Honestly, my choice could be summed up in just those few paragraphs since your lines scream “princess” more than any other character…

✦ In this case, you two share a lot in common, which leaves no room for any other potential match. I can only see Chigiri by your side :) Believe me, he’s a great partner, both from what we see in the manga and what I interpret about his character off-screen.

✦ Let’s start with the common points!

✦ "I’m quite smart but I don’t really try to be?? Like I mostly play on my phone or watch shows/read in my classes but I have perfect grades anyways." Without calling Chigiri lazy (far from it), he easily succeeds at what he sets his mind to. When it comes to sports, he's a smart guy with a sharp, critical, and curious mind that quickly grasps things and learns easily. We know that from an early age, he made a breakthrough and gained popularity because no one could rival his talent. Nature also blessed him physically, but we’ll get back to that later, Monica Bellucci.

✦ "I’d say I’m also pretty quick-witted and good at thinking on my feet BUT I’m kind of judgmental." Yes. Chigiri.

✦ "I was the one in high school who knew ALL of the tea because people would just tell me their secrets unprompted." Well, it’s not quite the same for Chigiri, and this is where things get interesting: for him, it’s the opposite. Since he’s so talented, many have high expectations of him, and he has high expectations of himself too. His knee injury was a taboo subject at the beginning of the manga until Isagi brought it up and got Chigiri to open up – though I like to think it was Isagi’s therapist-like aura that encouraged Chigiri to confess everything.

✦ This is where you complement each other well. Highly talented and productive people often hide their failures and vulnerabilities, and when they do confide, it’s a real sign of trust.

✦ For this reason, I think one of Chigiri’s love languages is quality time.

✦ Another reason this match makes sense: you two naturally balance each other with your respective temperaments. But there are also striking similarities, like your general popularity. People gravitate towards you both, seeking your presence.

✦ And honestly, it was when I reached the “likes/dislikes” section that I completely reevaluated my choice for your matchup because everything you mentioned just screams Chigiri. That’s what ultimately pushed my original choice aside and made me rewrite everything!

✦ "People who are passionate about things, people who are very kind/gentle, they NEED to have a sense of humor though so definitely someone very comfortable being sassy or sarcastic, people who are on the calmer/quiet side because that balances me and my high-maintenance self out, people who don’t get angry very easily." I’m quoting this because it almost directly describes Chigiri. To me, he’s a boy who started off very confident and arrogant, but his knee injury taught him humility and introspection. This balance brings a lot of nuance to your relationship. He knows how to switch between being highly competitive and cocky on the field, yet he becomes very calm and kind off the field. Chigiri is the type to dish out sarcastic remarks without getting upset by them.

✦ There’s a little note about him that says, "He thinks his strong point is that he's proactive when it comes to things he likes or wants to do." Sure, most of the Blue Lock characters are passionate about what they do, but the fact that Chigiri is the only one with this specific note in his canon profile shows how central this trait is for him.

✦ "Traits I dislike in others: people who explain things I already know because nothing makes me crash out like a mansplainer, people who are overly pushy, people who are way too nonchalant and don’t pay attention to me, people who are overly blunt to the point that it becomes mean, people who look down on me or are condescending, people with no social awareness." Similarly, Chigiri strikes me as one of the most balanced characters in the Blue Lock roster, and I see him as someone who would be respectful in everyday life. In fact, I think this applies to most of the manga’s characters, but once they’re off the field and not in high-pressure situations, they’re just regular humans like us. Well, most of them.

✦ "Hobbies: Horseback riding (I do dressage, which is kind of like horse ballet)." Why do I feel like this is a sport Chigiri would absolutely enjoy? Maybe it’s because dressage requires technique, precision, and elegance—qualities that define Chigiri well.

✦ "Writing." If I remember correctly, Chigiri enjoys reading. Short stories, specifically. While I see him sticking to his preferred genres, your love for writing would definitely pique his interest. Writing is a pretty personal activity, and not everyone is comfortable talking about it, let alone sharing their work. Since Chigiri is receptive to art in many forms, he’d be intrigued and would want to know more about your writing style, your characters. You can learn a lot about a football player’s mindset from their gameplay; similarly, a writer’s work reveals much about their inner world.

✦ "Making tea." I’m picking up on all the tiny details because everything aligns so perfectly with Chigiri, and I’m still wondering why he didn’t come to mind during my first attempt. Also, I remember reading that you love autumn, which creates a fun link with Chigiri: "His favorite season is winter because he enjoys drinking tea and eating sweets while sitting under a kotatsu."

✦ "Doing makeup/hair/skincare." Chigiri again :) Along with Aryu and Kaiser, Chigiri is one of the characters whose appearance is meticulously maintained. He genuinely cares about looking good.

✦ "Taking pictures (both of myself to post online and also just of scenery/animals/flowers/pretty things)." Except for Nagi, Shidou and Sae (surprisingly), we don’t know much about most Blue Lock characters’ online lives, but I can easily picture Chigiri scrolling through Instagram, checking out fashion, beauty, and wellness accounts. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a Pinterest board for home decor, hairstyles, and inspiration.

✦ "I like being told that someone loves me and I also like being looked at." Funny you say that because there’s a line about Chigiri: "He likes when he is praised for his talent or admired for how fast he can run." You two were definitely the queen bees of high school, huh?

✦ "In terms of giving, I think it’s gift giving because I love finding little things that remind me of someone." Spot on. I think Chigiri would love receiving gifts, especially books, clothes, or stylish items. He strikes me as someone whose house is the most well-decorated out of the whole friend group, and everyone loves visiting.

✦ When it comes to public displays of affection, I see Chigiri as someone who’s more reserved. He might be with his partner in public, but you wouldn’t know it by the way he acts—he keeps it private.

✦ So… YES. I said I’d get back to appearances, and now is the time.

✦ … Monica Bellucci is one of the most beautiful women of her time, and nothing and no one can convince me otherwise. The fact that she speaks more than six languages (including Italian, English, French, Portuguese, Spanish, and Persian) makes me absolutely crazy. And honestly, if people compare you to her, it means you’re turning heads just like Chigiri :) So yes, the couple goals are present, and that’s why I rewrote this entire matchup to highlight it on my blog.

✦ Cancer and Capricorn have one of the best compatibilities in the zodiac, thank you and goodnight.

✦ And just because the analyst in me can’t help but dissect every brain: the ISFP and ENFP combination is very interesting and draws heavily on creativity. Both types are known as free spirits who don’t like to conform to norms, and they want to create and invest in things that resonate with them. These two types share Introverted Feeling (Fi) in their cognitive stack. It asks, "Is this good? Bad? Do I like this?" Your ideals guide your decisions and preferences. You can’t be forced into something you’re not in tune with, or you’ll become unproductive—or worse, completely stuck.

✦ I haven’t even touched on the headcanons yet, so the curtain rises now :)

✦ You met at the end of autumn, early winter, when the season was still clinging to its russet leaves, but the white of the ground had already started to appear.

✦ Back then, Chigiri still had short hair and ran faster than light. You, as usual, were surrounded by people, admired by the teachers. Good grades. Your profile was enough to make others envious, but it was so distant from you that it didn’t really affect you.

✦ In any case, it wasn’t a concern you showed.

✦ The fact that you didn’t speak right away, even though you probably knew Chigiri from afar—everyone talked about him. People talked about you too, but it was hard to tell if Chigiri was aware of you. In truth, apart from soccer, there wasn’t much that could hold his attention for more than five minutes.

✦ … And you liked that. The fact that he always gave everything for his passion. That he was bold, laughed in the face of the slower ones. There was a part of you that didn’t necessarily approve, but another part that admired this confidence. Only the best can afford to act like that.

✦ You watched him play from the stands. Soccer wasn’t something you always understood—the rules or the appeal—but the team spirit, the way people fought hard to score goals; that you liked. You understood the excitement of gathering around the field to cheer on one side and then the other. It was a moment shared with others.

✦ What eventually made Chigiri approachable was, ironically, the very thing that shattered his rise.

✦ During a match, his leg twisted, and you didn’t see the redhead on the field again after that.

✦ You were there. You saw what happened.

✦ And you also noticed how everything changed for Chigiri once he returned to school, without the weapon that set him apart from the rest and elevated him above others. His knee now had a brace.

✦ Most people scattered, lost interest. The strongest had fallen, so there was no point in orbiting around him anymore; there were other heroes.

✦ You saw him, sitting under the isolated tree behind the school. He was alone, and instinctively, you knew he wasn’t seeking company.

✦ But you couldn’t help it.

✦ You joined him, announcing yourself politely. You were alone, so it was easier for Chigiri to accept you sitting beside him.

✦ From your backpack, you pulled out snacks from the konbini—you knew Chigiri liked them. He always opened a pack after training.

✦ The fact that you remembered this moved him deeply. Everyone only defined Chigiri by his abilities on the field, never by what he liked. You remembered that he liked sweet snacks and even brought some tea in a thermos.

✦ You shared the food while talking until sunset, and even now, that remains one of the best autumns Chigiri had ever known.

✦ Even at the end of high school, when your paths diverged, he kept in touch by phone. He regularly sends pictures of landscapes he finds beautiful. Cats he finds on the street. Cherry blossoms in spring.

✦ Time and obligations sometimes keep you apart for long weeks, even months, but you always end up crossing paths again in the shopping streets of Tokyo. More specifically, near the clothing stores.

✦ You both followed each other on Pinterest and enjoyed pinning photos to your shared boards. You smile when you notice a new picture added and see the other’s name beneath it.

✦ "Look, this reminded me of you."

✦ Skies with changing colors are your favorite photos.

✦ Even with his busy schedule, he always comes to see you during your horseback riding performances. These shows are particularly beautiful, and his respect for your understanding of horses is immense. Anyone good with animals is undoubtedly a good person.

✦ He claps without shouting, always with a smile on his face. He knows you’ll spot him in the crowd.

✦ He keeps the little trinkets you give him, attaching them to his phone, keeping them in his fanny pack.

✦ When he’s in town, a thought of you always wanders through his mind, and he takes out his phone: "I’m near the mall. Want to meet up? It’s time to see who’s kept the best fashion sense."

✦ Always a slightly teasing remark, but never mean.

✦ Like you, Chigiri remembers the little details and the things you like. He’s even become surprisingly good at gifting you the best stationery—cute and colorful pens, notebooks, everything.

✦ When he was able to run again without fear of injuring his knee, you were the first person he told.

✦ "The match against the U-20 is coming up soon. You’ll see me on the field, Mira, and I’ll be running."

✦ ONE SHOT TIME.

The match against the U-20 had passed, and Blue Lock had won.

Blue Lock. You hadn’t heard much about it, only what Chigiri had told you. And Chigiri wasn’t the most talkative guy in the world, especially when it came to his own affairs.

But one thing was clear: he had joined the program and was running again.

Running.

It was something that defined the one who earned the nickname of the Red Panther. And you had seen him dash faster than anyone on the field. There was something beautiful about watching Chigiri play, whether it was his fluid, controlled footwork. His straight trajectory along each wing of the field while everyone else was crowded near the goal. His red hair gleaming above his shoulders like a dancing flame.

You had found Chigiri in all his former glory.

When the final goal was scored, signaling the end of the match, everything inside you tightened with joy. Your first instinct was to suggest to Chigiri that you meet up in the city during the break, at the café you used to go to in high school. The sign hadn’t changed, and luckily: you could still enjoy your favorite dishes there.

The Cat’s Corner welcomed you with its Parisian café tones, its wooden tables, old paintings, and tiled floors.

Chigiri had just arrived at the table where you were already seated.

"Hey, champ! So, you’ve been hiding the fact that you’ve become super strong from me!" You say with a big smile, opening your arms to welcome your friend in a hug.

"I’m just saving the surprise to make my comeback more epic, what do you think?"

"You were amazing. That was an incredible match, I can’t believe it!"

"Me neither, you know. It wasn’t looking great at first; we were all a mess."

Chigiri sits down, reaching for the menu, but your hand stops on his wrist.

"I already ordered! Karinto manjuu and green tea for you, sir."

"Wow, what a memory! Good thing I haven’t been getting that for ten years!"

"Tsk, amateur. You think just because it’s been months I don’t remember what I brought you under that tree?"

"You remember that?"

"How could I forget? With your funeral face, it looked like the world was ending."

"That’s pretty much how I felt."

"And now, how do you feel?"

"Now…"

Chigiri glanced away, looking at the passing crowd. The constant noise rocked the rhythm of his thoughts.

"… peaceful, I’d say. To be able to… play like before. I’m not scared of blowing out my knee anymore."

"What happened then, while you were stuck in a new block with just guys?"

You smile, and quickly, a teasing expression crosses Chigiri’s face.

"Don’t start imagining things—it’s just teammates, nothing more!"

"Yeah, yeah… We all went through the yaoi phase in middle school, Hyoma!"

"Maybe you did. I was training to be the best."

"And now?"

"Nothing’s changed. I’m still training hard. To beat who I used to be… and to finally be the best striker."

Chigiri’s order arrives, and the steaming tea seems to plunge him into deep thought.

"This time, I won’t slow down. I’m not afraid anymore. I’ll give it my all to get there, even if it costs me my tendon. Hey, Mira. Will you follow me in this new ascent?"

There was no need for an answer to understand the obvious, which only made your smile grow.

A word about your match: As I mentioned, I revised my choice because I believe that with Nagi, the spark just won't catch. There are too many differences between the two of you, and even though I love opposites-attract dynamics, considering the traits you like and dislike in someone, Nagi is, rationally, not a good match for you. Nevertheless, I still posted the matchup I had originally planned with him (because, well, why not) HERE in case the draft analysis I made interests you. Enjoy!

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | SEPTEMBER '24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[tealenko]

Fics out of context

I feel like we need some laughs today in the mass effect fandom... or at least on this little corner I like to call the shenko vortex XD

link

‐------------

“Okay then.” Garrus thinks something quickly, wishing to let behind the current topic of the conversation as soon as possible. “Real stuff. Well… How about… Never have I ever wanted to kill someone on this ship.”

“Wanted or almost got killed?”

“Wanted.” Garrus clarifies.

Shepard giggles and drinks right away, chugging almost all the liquor in her bottle in just a few seconds.

“Wow, Lola. You didn’t even hesitate.” James says half amused, half scared, concerned he is part of the reason she’s drinking right now. “Thinking of someone in particular?” He asks as carefully as he’s able.

“Oh… Well, I have a list.” She snorts when she sees the expression on every member of the conversation, all of them quite scared they are going to be a part of it.

After a few seconds of complete silence, Garrus musters the courage to ask the question forming in each and everyone of their minds.

“Who’s on top?” He asks, feeling confident that, if it’s in fact one of them, she has way more reasons to hate one of the other two than him.

“Pff… like I’m gonna tell you!” She smiles, knowing too well what they are all thinking. “But no one in this room should be afraid to hold the first position, if that’s what you’re all wondering”

“Tell this person then. Life is short!” James’ fear is quickly replaced by curiosity and delight knowing that, this time around, he isn’t the target of her fury. “I mean, won’t you feel waaaaay better if you confront this right now and get it out of your system.”

“Vega, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now…” Kaidan tries to dissuade him, knowing Shepard is drunk enough to be compelled by his arguments.

“Nah, Kai. It makes sense.” She says, interrupting him mid sentence. “You know what? Why not?” She hits the bar and downs what’s left of her bottle before switching up her omnitool. “Call… Ehmmm… Joker.”

“Joker!?” All three of them whisper at the same time, way too intrigued by what it’s going to happen.

“Hey Commander.”

“Hey…” She laughs for a second, but then a serious expression appears on her face out of nowhere. “How could you?”

“What?” Joker asks, confused. “Everything okay, Shep?”

“No… Everything it’s not ok… okay.” She shakes her head a few times in a pointless attempt to sober up a little. ”Not okay.”

“Wait, Shepard… Are you drunk?” He asks in return.

“Kinda… Don’t change the subject you… You know, right? What you did… Back, in the first Normandy.”

“I…” Joker falls silent, not knowing what to do, until a quick wave of realization hits him and makes him regain his ability to speak. “I… I’m sorry, Shepard. I am. Truly.” His voice quivers, so he stops for a second to clear his throat. “Maybe we should talk about it in a more private environment, and not with you… Well, drunk.” He sighs and hesitates a little before speaking again. “But… You’re right, and I’m sorry Shepard. I… I should’ve left… It’s my fault.” He makes another pause. “It’s my fault that you…”

Shepard cuts him right away, regaining her smile as quickly she lost it less than a minute ago.

“That!? Oh no… That’s shit that happens… No. I’m talking about you totally cockblocking me the first time I was going to hook up with Kaidan.”

“Wait, wha…” Whatever he tries to ask is completely obliterated by the sudden explosion into an uncontrolled laughter of both James and Garrus.

“Ay… You were right.” She says joining them in their glee. “I feel waaaaay better.” She adds, mocking James.

[slightlystupidhun]

The One That Almost Stayed

A Quinn and Darlin fic that is based on the song, The One That Got Away, by the civil wars. It is set before Darlin meets Sam.

Part 1, Part2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,

Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

TW: Cussing, Quinn, Hostility, Blood, Grooming. This fic discusses serious issues Tank probably went through. Please viewer discretion is advised.

Tank woke up, not to their alarm, but to banging on their door. It was only then that they realized they had still been dressed in their clothes from the night before. They rolled out of their bed, feet making contact with the icee hardwood floor. The scampered out of the room to follow the sound of the banging. Peering through the looking glass. Standing on the other side of the tall wooden frame is Gabe, David, and Ash. ‘God what did I do this time?’ Tank thought to themself before opening the door. Gabe, Ash, and David marched right in making themselves at home. Tank shut the door and latched it, returning it to how it was the night before.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Asher yelled encompassing Tank in a hug. “You smell weird…” he said suspiciously.

“Wow thanks Ash.” Tank said separating from the hug. “I just forgot to change… let me do that real quick.” They said walking back to their room.

“We’ll have a birthday breakfast ready for you when you’re finished.” Gabe said walking over to their kitchen.

Tank walked back to their room getting dressed. They walked over to their phone grabbing it off their dresser seeing one missed message.

Q: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRETTY, CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.

T: THANKS QUINN, ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

After they sent the text they pocketed their phone and headed back over to the kitchen to the smell of good food. They all greeted Tanker and began playing their food, eating together.

“So Kiddo, you got a boyfriend?” He asked eyeing their reaction. They almost choked on their eggs, coughing and hitting their chest. They shot a glare over to Asher and David who were conveniently looking away from them.

“No I don’t. I’m too busy to have a boyfriend.” They said, looking away from Gabe to check their watch. They had work at 1:30 today.

“Want a ride to work? Once we’re finished here?” Gabe asked.

“I can walk it’s fine.” They said plainly.

“I’ll walk you if you want!” Asher offered.

“It’s fine really, I’ll walk.”

“Don’t you have a license?” David asked them knowing full and well his dad helped teach them how to drive.

“Yes. Im saving up for a bike.” They stabbed at their food.

“Oh? Do you have your eye on a specific one kiddo?”

“Yeah the one in the lot by Marie’s house… it’s only 8,000 and I’ve already saved up 7,500 from birthdays and well work…” they replied.

“Oh that’s a beauty, it’s kinda old being a 1999 model but, it’s all black, could probably use some work.” Gabe added.

“Yeah, that’s why I am taking auto body this year. I’ll probably see if D.A.M.N has a class on it.” At this Gabe piped up.

“Well I could always help! I fixed up one of my own a few years ago, I wouldn’t mind helping.”

“Really?” They perked up.

“David helped me, so did Ash and Milo, I’m sure they could help, that is if they retained anything.” He nudged David with his shoulder and David rolled his eyes.

“Ok then. Once I get it and stuff… I’ll let you know…” The conversation varied from different subjects and continued as they cleaned up. When it was finally time for them to go to work they all left Tanks house together, before Tank could veer off on their own Gabe led them to his truck, driving them to work. He passed the lot by Marie’s house and couldn’t help but notice the spark in Tankers eyes when they saw the bike.

“Alright have a good day at work Kiddo.” Gabe waved them goodbye.

“Thanks Gabe! Be safe…” they walked into the mechanic shop. They had been shadowing him for a while. They primarily worked in things that were to hard for him to do as he was pretty old. When they finished their shift they began to walk across the street to the mall where they worked part time at the mall as a janitor. They checked in on time before beginning to clean some of the pop up shops.

“Well if it isn’t the one and only Tanker.” A familiar voice rang out, “Cleaning up after everyone else. So different from what you do with the pack, isn’t it.” Cristian walked over to them and chuckled.

“Leave me alone Cristian.” They tried to walk around him but he grabbed the broom in their hand.

“You got me barred from pack activities for a month.” He said pushing them slightly.

“No. You got yourself barred. Leave me out of it.” They pushed him back.

“You don’t belong in the pack. Your parents left why can’t you just take the hint!” He pushed the broom back which caused them to stumbled backwards tripping over themself and falling backwards but never hitting the ground. They fell into a hard chest. It was familiar. It was Quinn. They looked up at him shock spread across their features. He smiled down at them before glaring at Cristian.

“Hello, are you a friend of theirs?” Quinn asked a deadly smile on his face.

“No, not exactly.” Cristian replied carefully and Quinn’s grasp on them tightened.

“Then why don’t you get, the hell, away from them.” He glared at Cristian showing his teeth. Cristian ran off and Quinn turned Tank to face him. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine” they shrugged him off. “And thank you, but I can handle myself. I’m not exactly weak.” He laughed at this.

“I know I saw you argue with David Shaw. That takes some guts… So how long do you work til? I can take you home if you want.”

“No I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. But maybe I just want to accompany a pretty thing like you home.” A smile etched its way onto his face.

“I get off at 8:40…” they said walking away and continuing their tasks.

8:40 came around quickly as they walked outside, the cold air hitting their face.

“Ready to walk home?” They said looking over their shoulder meeting his eyes.

“How’d you know I was here?” He met them at their side.

“I have very good instincts. And I uh,” they looked him up and down, “I always have a reason to use them.”

They began to walk together switching from topic to topic. Until the mood felt a little more somber. Quinn decided to bring up the topic of the argument again.

“Is your pack always like that?” He asked staring at them.

“No…. Usually it’s just Cristian… I mean Gabe and David are pretty nice, so are Ash and Milo, they just don’t- I’m not always included. Which isn’t their bad it’s my-“

“It’s not your fault.” Quinn said firmly. “They can be nice and still be dicks. Hey, tomorrow, would u like to meet my group of friends. They’re kinda like my clan, or pack, I guess. But they’re the closest people I have. If you wanna meet them they can be there for you too. I think you could use something like that.”

They turned the familiar corner to Tankers house, the path only lit up by the stars and the dim street lamps. It was almost too dark for Tank to notice anything, the key word being almost. Just outside of their apartment building they saw a familiar tall frame quickly walking towards them. It was David Shaw, and he was rapidly approaching so they quickly turned to Quinn.

“Ok, you gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye” they pushed him in the opposite direction but before he left fully he kissed their cheek and winked at them before running off.

“Tank!” David said finally arriving at their side.

“David? What’s going on?” Tank replied trying to ignore the chill that they were feeling from just wearing a tank top.

“Are you ok? You’re back home later than usual?” He asked them, concern lacing his tone.

“Yeah I’m fine…” they responded too quickly, “I just got distracted. So what brings you here?”

“Well Ash said he saw Cristian and you fighting at the mall. He said that he saw Cristian being aggressive with you so, I just came to make sure you’re ok.” He said walking them to their apartment.

“I’m fine David. I would have shifted and kicked his ass but I figured Gabe wouldn’t want to have to deal with the covert cops chasing him down.” They waved him off.

“I’m sorry he came around like that… is there anything I can do for you…. Cuz we’re… we are pack, we are family and we care for you so…” he shuffled awkwardly in-front of their door.

“God you’re such a big brother David. I’m fine. I’ll kick his ass next time. See you later.

[sweetlymawd]

Found Feelings

H4nk FINALLY gets what he wanted. For real this time. Plus a little something more.

(You know the drill. Continuity. Check my pinned.)

(And there’s fluff in this one, too.)

<- Previous (Close Call)

Next (Out of Control) ->

H4nk couldn’t see the number on the scale. His belly was blocking his view and he wasn’t even stuffed. Just goes to show how much he had gained over the past few days. He pushed down the waistband of his sweatpants to let his gut hang over it, then lifted his excess fat. He watched it jiggle as he dropped it.

He then looked into the mirror in front of him, seeing the extra weight that had piled up everywhere else on his body. His neck, chest, arms, rear, legs, everything was bigger and squishier. H4nk had done it. He was fat.

And it was affecting his mobility, too. Just yesterday, he noticed he wasn’t as nimble as usual. Hell, he nearly got himself killed. H4nk knew he shouldn’t gain too much, but, for some odd reason, he liked it. Maybe it was just his appetite talking, but he was starting to love being stuffed. The feeling of his stomach filled to the brim with delicious food and treats, of hands massaging into the skin on his bloated belly to ease the pain, and of the subsequent tiredness rushing over him to let his body do the rest of the work. It was just so pleasurable… and he wanted more.

H4nk’s hand lightly pressed into his gut, gliding across the soft skin. Then his stomach growled. Hungry again. Even though he had a snack about an hour ago. Oh well, that wasn’t important. What was important was what he was going to fill up on this time.

He tucked his tummy back into his sweatpants and put the rest of his clothes on. He was getting a little tired of leftovers. Going out scavenging seemed much more appealing.

~~~

H4nk had gotten unlucky. He hadn’t found anything but the same old hotdogs the vendor was selling. And was subjected to an ambush he barely made it out of. Seemed like there wasn’t any good food around as of now.

He was about to go back to base hungry when he heard something. Then that something sped right past him. It was Tr1cky’s stop sign. H4nk couldn’t help but wonder what the clown was up to. He changed his mind. He knew it might kill him, but it wouldn’t hurt to see him again, right? Besides, maybe he could help him scavenge.

H4nk followed the trail the stop sign left behind, which led towards a smaller base owned by the Agency. As he entered the building, he was greeted to the blood and bodies of agents littering the floor. And in the back of the room, three agents were watching in horror as the clown held a fourth.

“…YOU ALL LOOK SO TIRED. YOU DESERVE A NICE LONG BREAK… IN MY TUMMY!”

Then Tr1cky’s mouth was wide open as he pushed the agent inside. As H4nk watched the body disappear and the clown’s belly expand to occupy it, he realized something. He was so caught up with gaining that he had forgotten why he had started stuffing himself in the first place. The clown belched loudly and sighed.

“AHH… SO GOOD… NOW WHO’S NEXT?”

Two of the agents left quickly, leaving the last one stumbling. Tr1cky caught him.

“WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE— OH, H4NK! HIIII!!!”

Tr1cky zipped over, dragging the poor agent with him in one arm, and hugged H4nk with the other. H4nk didn’t know how to react.

“Uh… hey, uh, clown…”

Tr1cky leaned into H4nk’s body, nuzzling his chest. “WOW, H4NKY… YOU’RE SO BIG AND SOFT…”

“…Yeah. Uh, what are you doing?”

Tr1cky stepped back. “OH! CLOWN IS JUST GETTING A QUICK MEAL,” he answered as he pat his bloated stomach. “WHAT ABOUT YOU?”

“Trying to find food. All they’ve got right now is hotdogs.”

“WHAT? HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE HOTDOGS?!”

“I do. I’m just tired of them.”

“OH. WELL, WANNA COME WITH ME AND SEE WHAT WE CAN FIND?”

“Yeah, uh, about that…”

“YEAH?”

“…Can you… show me how to, uh, swallow people?”

“YOU MEAN YOU WANNA BE A PRED?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Yeah.”

“HMM… OKAY!”

Then all eyes were on the agent Tr1cky was holding. He looked at the clown, then at H4nk, then at the clown again.

“Uh… shit,” he said sheepishly.

“LISTEN, AGENT, YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOOD PREY AND STAY STILL FOR H4NK. IF YOU WANNA STRUGGLE, CLOWN CAN ALWAYS TEAR YOU APART. YOU UNDERSTAND?”

The agent tried to speak, but all that came out was a small squeak.

“GOOD. NOW H4NK…”

Tr1cky held the agent’s head close to H4nk’s face.

“ARE YOU READY?”

H4nk pulled his mask off. “Yeah.”

“OPEN WIDE!”

H4nk opened his mouth.

“WIDER.”

H4nk’s mouth was open as wide as it could be.

“WIDER.”

“Ah eh!”

“YES YOU CAN, H4NK! OKAY, HERE IT COMES!”

Tr1cky then suddenly shoved the agent’s head into H4nk’s maw. After a few moments of pushing and more shoving, H4nk finally managed to start swallowing. It was a bizarre sight. H4nk sitting on the floor with his head back, Tr1cky still pushing the agent into him. His throat hurt like hell, but there was no way he was backing out. He was finally getting what he wanted.

“KEEP GOING, H4NKY! YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!”

H4nk didn’t even realize that Tr1cky had stopped pushing. He had swallowed more than half of the agent now, his belly expanding with each gulp.

“JUST ONE MORE!”

H4nk gave one final gulp, then gasped for air as the rest of the agent was pulled into his growing stomach. He laid on his back, feeling the agent move around inside him.

“HOOOUUURRP!!! …Hah… holy shit…”

“YOU OKAY, H4NKY?” Tr1cky was kneeling down, patting H4nk’s belly.

“It hurts…”

“IT ALWAYS HURTS THE FIRST TIME. YOU DID SO GOOD.”

H4nk mumbled as Tr1cky rubbed his tummy. He was so full, bigger than he had ever been. That was all that was on his mind right now. So full. Stuffed. Tired. After another belch, H4nk yawned.

“FEELING SLEEPY, H4NK?”

“Mm-hmm…”

“DON’T WORRY. CLOWN WILL TAKE YOU HOME.”

As Tr1cky brought H4nk up to his feet and guided him out the door, the two agents that fled the scene peeked from behind the doorframe.

“…They’re gone, right?”

“Yep.”

“Okay.” The agent breathed in. “What the FUCK just happened?!”

“My question is how we keep surviving.”

“BUT H-HE SWALLOWED HIM WHOLE!!!”

“Calm down. I’m sure the 4ud1t0r knows.”

“How is THAT gonna help?!”

The second agent grabbed the first’s shoulders. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. The 4ud1t0r will come up with a plan, and then they won’t be trouble anymore.”

“…What was that about the 4ud1t0r?”

“…Uh… what happened to your voice?”

~~~

H4nk was drifting in and out of consciousness the whole way. All he could remember was Tr1cky helping him walk, Tr1cky’s room, something soft, and the clown talking to him, but he couldn’t remember what he said.

Once he awoke, he realized where he was. He was back in Tr1cky’s room, laying on a large bean bag with Tr1cky sleeping on top of him, cuddling him. How much time had passed? H4nk’s stomach had shrunken down, but Tr1cky still looked stuffed. His belly was smaller than it was, but still large enough to weigh down on H4nk.

Then, before H4nk knew it, his hand was running across the skin on Tr1cky’s stomach. Even though the clown had rough skin, he was still soft and squishy. He looked kind of… cute, in a way. H4nk kept absentmindedly rubbing Tr1cky’s belly, beginning to fall back asleep when the clown stirred. He began mumbling.

“…MMM… IT FEELS… SO GOOD, J3BBY… KEEP GOING…”

“…Clown?”

“WHA— H4NK…?”

“Uh, I was just—“

“CLOWN DIDN’T TELL YOU TO STOP. PLEASE KEEP GOING…”

H4nk kept at it, rubbing circles into the clown’s soft belly. Tr1cky sighed out of pleasure, moving up to nuzzle H4nk in his neck. H4nk’s face flushed red.

“H4NKY… CLOWN LOVES YOU…”

H4nk stopped. Did Tr1cky really just say that?

“…What? Say that again.”

“CLOWN LOVES YOU.”

He didn’t mishear anything. Tr1cky… loved him? H4nk was taken aback. Sure, the clown had been a huge help lately, but love? Shit, were they even friends? What should he say? What should he do?

“…I…”

“YEAH, H4NK…?”

H4nk leaned in, giving Tr1cky a “kiss” on the head. Tr1cky lightly gasped, lifting his head up to face H4nk. As he stared up at the clown, H4nk began thinking. The two of them WERE getting along well recently. Plus, he had just given him what he wanted, right? Maybe being with Tr1cky wouldn’t be so bad.

“…I think… I love you too…”

Tr1cky’s face gained a dark blush. He kept gazing into H4nk’s eyes for a while. Then he suddenly closed the gap between them. H4nk’s subsequent shock melted away.

It felt… nice. He liked where this was going.

[shushthisaintmytumbla]

I guess its the Summer Solstice so here we are again! 6/21/23

Wow I knew I neglected my last pot but here we are back even later than the last one! Like i say everytime it is wild to see how much has changed in my life the past couple of years. Ups down and everything in between I come back to this spot everytime and see the growth I’ve made. All by myself. All for myself. I cant always see it but moments where I read back on the past I am brought right back to those moments and never lose sight of how I felt in the past. 

I keep seeing on TikTok that today is a Summer Solstice meaning it is a great opportunity for manifestations so lets try this out why not! I guess I’ll start by giving a quick synopsyis of my life from the past 10 months or however long (wow sorry I abandoned this for that long!!!!)

Lets start with Work. I am still at the same OI job and feel like I have grown sooo much. I cant say im perfect at my job, but I know I have made a shit load of progress that i’m very proud of. I shifted off of working with my mngr which has made the biggest impact on my happiness at the job. I was going from having weekly panic attacks to not even having to review a single email anymore. I am really proud of myself for treading through the mud and getting to the point where I am at now. Now for the manifestation segment. I am going to get a promotion soon. This SUMMER! I FEEL IT. I am such a hard worker and really have gained the experience to move up in the company. I am confident it will happen in the next couple months. I cant wait to come back here and tell you all about it. It will be my first real promotion at a job which is something that I’ve really wanted to achieve since I havent gotten to this point at any of my previous jobs. You got this Case. 

Now for relationships. Tricky subject and yep you guessed it D is still around. I have tested a coupe other relationships with E and A and C... but somehow D makes it through the motions of every single season. I do want to touch on E for a sec. I have grown to build an amazing relationship with him, but I havent seen him for a few weeks and I feel like the relationship is starting to fade. Im sick of getting 100% and then a week later not even 1%. I am fully aware it has nothing to do with me and more so his own struggles, but I do need to realize at the end of the day that its ok to want more from someone and he cant give me what I need as much as hes shown me how I can be treated in a healthy way. He’s the boy Ive always dreamt of how someone can treat/care for you, but this story just isnt ours at this point in time. Who knows what the future holds. Now D. Oh boy. As we all know its been a fucking roller coaster. I have felt the highest of highs w him and the lowest of lows. I do hold love for him (but not so sure ive ever been in love... idk what that even is lmao). We’ve gotten to a point where I feel like I have been holding my power for quite some time now. I don’t have the same anxieties as I had for him in the past and i don’t prioritize him over others. We’ve tried not speaking (jan 2023) for a couple weeks and ultimately he just came back and I allowed it. I cant cut him out of it killed me. It’s so fucking hard. I am working on figuring out his place in my life and how we can carry on without hurt, but I feel like I am slowy falling back in the trap/cycle. We had a really nice day together the other weekend and I felt those anxious attachment feelings creeping in... I need to remember the things that have happened and try to prepare for the worst, but is it crazy to say that what if we are meant for each other? The other day I was able to imagine being in a relationship with him and it shocked me how I felt so good the whole day. Idk prob the worst thought ever but.. idk.. why are we magents to each other? Lastly I wanna touch on friendships and new york life. My friends here are still the same (but Karina now lives in Miami) and I love them so much, but I’ve been feeling myself longing for my relationships in LA. There are many weekends where my friends here are out of town and I feel left alone many times. In LA I would have the comfort of my family when friends arent around, but theyre 100s of miles away from me. I really miss them so fucking much it hurts. I think the longer I am away the more and more I realize how special my family is. I especially feel bad being away from my mom. She asks me nearly everytime we talk when I’ll come back and little does she know I’ve been toying with the idea of returning once my lease is up. If not that I think I have 1 year left in me. It still shocks me to say it and feel confident in that, but I really miss my family. Thats truly the only thing pulling me back bc I love this city and who I have become here so damn much. Im not putting too much pressure on the decision as I still have 10 months on my lease, but it is in the back of my mind. I feel like I’ll lead myself to the right choice soon though. So much would change though. I told D the other day about the idea and he said he would be so sad which kinda surprised me. It would be the end for us if I did move back which im not sure is a good or bad thing. Sometimes I tell myself the love of my life is not here and I wont meet them till I move back lol. Im not sure where the future is gonna bring me, but im confident in myself to do what is right for me. Leaving my friends here would also be horrible, but at the end of the day if they are the friendships I believe them to be, we will still be as close as ever and planes exist!! I guess thats kinda it for now. But this is still the start to an amazing summer with so much fun in store I can feel it!!! I have a trip to the shore coming up next weekend and then im going back home for my bday end of july - aug. Later in the summer I am going to portugal with my family!!! and something BIIGGGG is gonna happen in the fam :o Cant write it in words here till it happens. Until then, I love you. Im proud of you. and life is always working out in my favor. <3  Love,

C