#wow there's so much emotion i need fuckin therapy

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[isdisorigionalenoughforyou]

Super sexy aa7 ideas that will never happen

*puts on my clown shoes

Themes: “the worst times are when lawyers have to smile their brightest, but you can’t be a lawyer 24/7” “sometimes (esp now) the system is WRONG”

CASE 1

Klavier Gavin prosecutes, because society has progressed beyond needing Paynes

And if the widespread complaint is that he’s too nice, this position is perfect

Make a witty remark abt feeling demoted >:(

Athena and Trucy dream team girls

Murder took place at a theater/has something to do with acoustics, to ~fit the characters~

Maybe Lamiroir was there 👀

Phoenix is once again a witness, but hes less infuriating. But still fucking funny infuriating

He mentions his college degree, vaguely. Pressing him reveals nothing.

Also address that TRUCY AND KLAVIER PROBABLY HAVE SOME TRAUMA FROM MURDERS AT THEIR PERFORMANCES

Defend a rando

The twist: the murder only could’ve been committed by someone with superhuman hearing, so Athena’s senses are vital here!!

End: the culprit tries to psychologically fuck with everyone, but Athena stays strong, maybe uses some noise cancelling headphones, and corners the SHIT out of them

Also, there’s a new judge. A higher judge than your normal judge, who is a boomer. BOOMER JUDGE

Post-trial: a comment about all them missing Apollo…

CASE 2

Athena vs Franziska von Karma

Athena calls her out on the whipping if that’s still a thing

[Maybe Trucy is there again for extra spice,,,] but Solo Thena would be EPIC

NEW FRANZISKA DESIGN

Maybe we can bring Maya back here, but NOT ACCUSE HER FOR MURDER

Or accuse her at the scene but quickly disprove it

Idk also address her trauma

Wow this is turning into ATHENA CYKES- ACE THERAPIST

Put Simon there too because he’s hilarious

Maybe him and Maya are casually attending Comic-Con for the Steel Samurai panel

Defendant: some toxic celebrity with DRAMA

the twist: the murderer was targeting several high-profile ppl, but only killed like. A janitor instead. They aren’t found OR arrested, but you get a not guilty by… indicting their accomplice. And it HURTS but you have to or its your not-guilty kinda-a-dick client that gets guilty

New judge plays by the written rules, so u can’t ague ur case

Franziska is skeptical of the Accomplice’s guilt, but she lets the verdict go because your client is innocent.

Athena cries to Phoenix about how she feels like she fricked up b/c she empathizes with the accomplice but also everyone, Phoenix does his best dad comfort—this is the truth that’s allowed in the confines of their court system.

CASE 3

NARUMITSU DATE

Open with a call from Maya. She loudly thanks the god/the holy mother for this

MURDER!!! AT THE VENUE  

Kay and Sebastian are there

GUMSHOEEEEE (OLDER SPRITE??? Higher salary?? Maggey too?)

Classic Wright vs Edgeworth

All the options are flirty

Everything is an innuendo

Trucy co-council is embarrassed by ur Old Man Flirting (NEW SPRITES)

Lampshade conflict of interest what with dating opposing council. Gloss over it completely

Phoenix’s college degree is vaguely mentioned to be helping him. This is Not elaborated on

The murder is some crazy shit that basically parodies the whole series

TWO SETS OF EVIL TWINS

3 cross poisonings and with INTERESTING results of chemicals mixing (Ema: 👀)

All the dying messages were faked

Handedness contradiction.

Some gross old guy appears, but you can punch him

The murder weapon goes from bloody knife with defendants fingerprints on it to glass shards of a broken bottle to an icicle to an overly spikey piece of hair

EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS

For extra funnies: BOOMER JUDGE IS NOT USED TO THIS. They are the straight person of this comedy clown case.

For extra feels (the twist): Phoenix actually has an emotional breakdown on one of the investigation days. Maybe Trucy gets put at risk again, or something with poisoning, or even something with Kay or Seb (to show how much Phoenix cares, in general) and we address all the shit that he’s gone thru

Awkward comforting by miles

HUG SPRITE/ART

CASE 4

(shoves Klavier into Khura’in) GO FAKEGERMANBOY GO

Play as Apollo (khura’inese clothes sprites)

KLAVIER CO-COUNCIL (CASUAL SPRITES?? Put his hair up in a bun capcom im begging)

ADRESS AA4

Maybe at the end of one investigation, theres just. A heartfelt talk.

Ok ill make it heavy (b/c if its lighthearted these fuckos will never talk about their feelings)

LAMIROIR IS HERE TOO??

TRUCY ALSO- im sorry truce im shoving you everywhere because I want you to develop

maybe she and Klavier are like, performer bros

Apollo is happy that Trucy is but also feels alienated, like AA6 totally pulled him from his AA4 roots [COUGH]

CASUAL TRUCY SPRITE??? I would cry capcom

Nahyuta, Rayfa, and Apollo being awkward but trying (and mostly succeeding) siblings, Amara being a scary but p good queen momther

FRANZISKA INTERNATIONAL PROSECUTING??? Idk it’d be epic tho

She roasts Klavier so bad

Though he is very smart so she just roasts his terrible German

Resolve the Gramarye siblings here?

Include something with gender dysphoria to contrast how they butchered Robin Newman???

This is huge headcanon territory here tho

The Twist: realizing that this case cannot POSSIBLY be resolved in 3 fucking days. Also that Apollo is so backlogged that hes stressed and he probably needs help

Also someone tries to frame Klavier with his Gavinners-brand shoeprints

End: answer yes/no to Klavier working at Justice Law Offices. The choice affects his dialogue with Apollo in 7-5

CASE 5

Some fuckin. International level scandal

Elaborate on whatever the fuck “the phantom” was spying for? btw is the same that the culprits froms 7-2 and 7-4. maaybe 7-1?

And it involves MORE AUDITORIUMS

Open w/ calling Trucy, whos in the states. She mentions that Klavier casually got a Japanifornian defense attorney badge. Cue exasperation/fondness/incredulity (I promise this is relevant)

In Khura’in

Starts small- like a robbery, which leads to an attempt on Thalassa’s life. Again

Athena gets to therapy her

Then someone high-profile actually fucking dies

Athena (co-council Apollo) vs FINAL BOSS FRANZISKA

Lots of investigating with them

Talk about space center and grief

The twist: a person with low emotional output is framed, but they are innocent because LOWER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS DOESN’T MAKE YOU FUCKING EVIL

The other twist: Bring in 7-2 framed person for a character witness, show that they’re innocent. Athena is panicking because of Fear(?) so Apollo is determined to Do Something, and points out how this only happened because the system is Stupid and calls Klavier and Trucy

BECAUSE:

At the same time, there’s a stateside investigation. some botched, continued interreference at the Space Station

Klavier can pull an Edgeworth and investigate with Trucy

With parently narumitsu

Klavier talks about Apollo a lot, Trucy calls him out on it

Nahyuta is prosecuting this case

Depending on the relations between Klavier and Nahyuta established in 7-4, this will be hilarious or disastrous

Protective Yuty route: makes scathing comments about petty parts of Klavier- a petty-off

Teasing Yuty route: brings it up whenever Klavier talks about Apollo. Rlly funny banter. Klavier showing more human emotions sprites!!

Revisit the Space Center and get emo. Simon is here, arguing with Nahyuta

Because the cases go to trial simultaneously, the comment about the wrong conviction in 7-2 can be brought to the Japanifornian courts by Klavier and Trucy

They argue that Athena was forced to do that to spare an innocent and press HARD for legal reform

They call in Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth for reforms??

They also start a twitter war (that can be investigation minigame) and get public opinion up abt it

Yuty vouches for change, w/ khura’in as evidence

SO AA4 CAN GET KINDA RESOLVED!!

DUNK ON BOOMER JUDGE

BONUS: CASE 6: TURNABOUT CHILLOUT

Phoenix vs Franziska

Larry time

Scruffy time

Idk man. No more international stuff, just good old fashioned cleaning up ur shitty dad’s messes amiright

Resolve things with the Shelly card?

oldbag cameo but you file a restraining order

help trucy and pearls with college

TLDR: Athena actually tracks an international conspiracy that has weight, the AJ gang once again changes the system, Phoenix gets emotional resolution, Franziska helps international stuff AND gets emotional resolution, and i finally stop trying to throw hands with capcom. 

[rjshepherd]

Ep 6. I'm loving this so far but don't think I don't have my fix the canon hammer ready at nys side for when my favs start to suffer.

I always worried about soft openings BC they're either really cool and important or really fuckin sad.

I do love this metal water oil effect.

Wait why are children in the dirty water????

Ohh is this sky that was flirting with Viktor earlier?

BABY BABY BABY

Baby no it's dangerous!

So like.

This is the dude that invented shimmer for silco yeah?

Why do some characters have accents if they all speak one language?

Viktor is dying???? Noooooooo

Ohh Mel is an artist?

Jayce really is punching above his weight.

This man really out here handing Mel the reins to his emotional well-being like she's his bloody mum or somethin.

Mel girl you can do better.

Ok back to Viktor.

Babe what you doin?

THIS JUTEBOX MAN I SWEAR.

...

Is that powders sippy cup.

GIRL DONT DRINK MAGIC ITS NOT SAFE.

Jinx baby no chemical weapons in the damn house.

Ok sevika brought that one on herself.

OH DEAR.

Oh

Well he is good with kids.

Still that little girl is dumb for not askin some fuckin questions.

Is that joker looking doude from JoJo? Is he....ok?

Omg I love silco so much

Is he stooping BC the ceiling is short?

Omg ahahahha

"oops accidents happen" XD

Viktor noooo

Ok so. Vi with a blue haired girl hmm where have I seen that before.

Everyone hallucinating in this bitch

Ok someone explain fluffy fuckerstien's background. Now.

Shimmer is a mutagen? Why does silco take it? Won't it kill him?

Jayce is a dumb fuck.

Himbobimblenfluffyton looks sad but I don't care about him sorry

Still fuck the council tho

So why is there an empty seatat the table? Interesting

Oh wow this ep is not letting up with the feelies. Straight slap to the face pic of vi and powders mother damn.

Ok that's creepy as fuck silco. I mean well done with the Dracula aesthetic and all but still creepy

He do be talkin a lot doesn't he?

damnit silco run the fuck away what is it with you and freezing up???

Ok again damn this show is pretty

Hehhe I like Angy silco too

Lmfao vi is so fighty it's hilarious

Oh

Oh no what's happening to Reo?????

What even is Reo????

Actually I don't care just PROTECT IT

damn. Papa silco needs a fuckin drink.

He looks like like " oh Jesus fuck."

Sevika is not getting paid enough for this shit.

Waaaaaaaa

Reunion time

POW POW WAAAAAAAA

jinx needs HELP.

99% of this show would not happen if therapy was a thing in this place.

I love this fight scene but the lights are GIVING ME A HEADACHE

Well.

That went to hell quickly

Really not sure how to feel about that one. Good over all but prob not my fav ep?

I think I'll prob finish them tonight BC there's fuck all else to do rn.

Edit yeah I finished them and now I have a headache from the effects

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

[atxlxs]

Beyond The Veil: Chapter 7

(This chapter is going to be a bit shorter this time but the next will be back to the usual length! I wanted the suspense of ending it where I did >:) )

As Muska watched, her classmates flooded in from the locker rooms.

First of all, that is a fuckin robot. Robocop was starting to fit more and more. Next, Yoyo was looking anxious as all hell and was scrunching into herself. Probably due to all of the skin showing at the moment.

Muska cringed a bit at that. She had seen her quirk in action the other day so she knew that skin was needed, but wearing clothes you were uncomfortable in was a great way to enhance body dysmorphia and anxiety in all the bad ways. Clothing was supposed to empower you, not make you cage up.

Midoriya and his absolutely horrible bunny costume hood, it looked like those bad leather kink memes Eras would send her at 4 in the morning from the pre-quirk era, came bouncing over with stars in his eyes. Uraraka not far behind.

“Wow! Viridis, you look so cool!” Midoriya cheerfully stated, the bounce never disappearing. That was kinda adorable. Honestly what a cinnamon roll.

“Yea!” Uraraka commented, drawing Muska’s attention to her, “Its so fashionable while still staying practical! The witch aesthetic is also unique in the best of ways!”

How did snarky and sarcastic Muska manage to make friends like this, all sunshine and smiles, when she had a resting bitch face and would not hesitate to stomp a bitch?

“Thanks, my friend designed it for me along with my gear,” She started, motioning to the visible whip and brass knuckles that were stylishly black with white accents, “Yours too, I like the space vibes. Midoriya looks like a bunny.”

“He does!” “Wha-!”

Uraraka giggled while strawberry-midoriya made an appearance. Before they could tease him too much though, All Might(?) called their attention in order to start the lesson.

The battle trials were team based and the teams were picked through a drawing, much to Robocops chagrin, Pairing Mido up with her. Uraraka managed to pair with Yoyo and it looked like a soon to become girl boss team. Their opponents seemed to agree considering the gay panic coming off of Jirou and the bisexual disaster that was a Kaminari was barely keeping himself from short circuiting.

Her gaydar was sharp but the fact that she could tell what emotions they were feeling helped too.

Muska’s team was called and she followed Mido out to the city scape and stopped in front of the building that they would soon throw down in. Worryingly, ever since the announcement of the teams and their enemies, Mido has been an anxious mess. He was verging on panic and that was not good. Before Muska could ask though, Greenie opened his mouth.

“So I went to school with Kacchan,” and wasn’t that worrisome considering that the greenie was practically vibrating out of their suit right now, “and he will definitely come after me first. He doesn’t work with others well,” -an understatement really- “and will probably leave Iida to guard the bomb.”

It took a second to remember who Iida was before it clicked. Considering Muska hadn’t bothered to remember the annoying blue teens name. Mido was about to say more but Muska cut him off.

“Alright, I bet you and your self sacrificial tendencies will say you're going to go after him alone despite not having a handle on your quirk that’s good enough to not break bones.” yes, she was calling the green bean out.

Considering the shocked expression she got in return, she was right on the money. Sighing while dragging a hand down her face in exasperation, silently debating on whether this is what Eras felt every time she did something dumb as fuck, Muska shook her head and stared at Midoriya. Decidedly not impressed by the greenie’s idea.

“Yea no. First of all, I won’t fight you about this since you look like you’ll retaliate with bad reasons until I agree, but I will be nearby on standby. It's better to go ahead with two against one to quickly end the fight. Secondly, after we subdue Blasty we’ll go ahead and get Robocop. My quirk, which I’ve already explained, will be great to counteract someone that just moves fast.”

The fight slowly drained from Midoriya’s eyes under her glare and silently he nodded. Though, there was less tension in his shoulders and he wasn’t as vibraty as before so she’ll count that as a win. God, she was going to have to talk some sense into Blasty using authoritarian force at some point… wasn’t she? Curse her luck.

An alarm sounded along with All Might's voice booming through their given headpieces, telling them “The Fight Has Started!” with enthusiastic energy.

Well, as long as they stick to the strategy they should be fine. At worst she would just have to fix some bones before passing Mido off to Recovery Girl while also talking to the heroine herself for medical lessons.

----

Whoever cleared a very angry Pomeranian to carry fucking BOMBS on his arms was going to feel Muska’s eternal wrath.

The fight started easily. They walked together silently up the stairs and through the hallways, navigating the building and checking all the doors for possible bomb locations. Sure enough, as greenie predicted, the angry Pompom boy could be heard before he was seen. Angry shouts of “DEKU!” reverberated through the hallways and the telltale sign of quirk use through explosive sounds guaranteed it.

Muska caught Midoriya’s eyes and raised an eyebrow. Nonplussed at the anger issues coming off the blond in waves.She couldn’t really judge the anger issues though, plus that seemed like a childhood problem that therapy could probably help. Midoriya sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck before they were forced to turn their attention to the angry pomeranian.

“Deku…” Bakugo started, his agitation clear in the venom the words were spat with. Subtly, Muska felt for his emotions and was decidedly not going to deal with whatever that was.

The explosive blond was angry, that's for sure, but there was also confusion and guilt. The guilt was triggered by the anger, which then made the blond more angry because he either didn’t want to continue to feel guilty or didn’t want to be doing what was making him feel guilty which was frustrating. Which made him angry again. It was a violent circle of emotions that was complex as all hell what the actual fu-

Muska’s thoughts were cut off as Midoriya and Bakugo lunged at each other, Mido dodging and Bakugo exploding empty air before dodging Mido’s retaliation. Blood thirsty punches were exchanged as Midoriya’s shoulder held tension and eyes held determination.

Muska hid around the corner of the hallway, observing silently for an opening. The beat down was verging on brutal and by the look on the blonds face, he wanted it that way.

She unlatched her whip from her belt and loosened its coiled up state. Gripping the handle, she turned back to watch just as Midoriya body slammed Bakugo into the ground. Backing up a bit to hold a fight stance. Breath coming haggard from exhaustion. The slam seemed to empty Bakugo’s lungs as he gasped for air.

Muska rushed in, dragging the capture tap out of her pocket and binding Bakugo’s hands together as he attempted to get up. He shouted angry curses at her, his face holding an almost feral anger to it. Muska actually stepped back at that slightly. Something seemed off.

She stepped away slowly and when she began to believe he was captured, All Might’s declaration of so calmed some nerves, she turned to Midoriya who was staring at his hands like he had never seen them before. Disbelief conveyed through his expression. Muska brought up a hand to wave in front of his face when she heard All Might yell through the headphones.

“BAKUGO DON’T! YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN INCAPACITAT-” The teachers shouting was cut off by the sound of metal clinking together.

Muska whipped around with wide eyes. Bakugo was standing, hands that used to be restrained were aimed in her direction and one was settled on the pin of a gauntlet, anger radiated off of him as his mind refused to acknowledge any of the other emotions she could feel through the energy surrounding him.

“Fuck you DEKU and YOU! I Wouldn’t have been captured if it weren’t for your fuckin interruption!” He screamed, eyes clouded a bit as he lost control.

Muska went to move but felt frozen to the ground by the all consuming anger she felt, Midoriya moved first. Grabbing her and starting to move himself. All Might's warning lost to the wind as the tell tale clink of a pin being removed seemed to echo in the near silent hall.

“They won’t die if they manage to dodge!” was the last thing she heard before a blast rendered her hearing to nothing but ringing and pain.

Burning pain.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags:

@baguettehead

[coredrill]

alright here are my rwby8 thoughts now that i’ve had a few days to sit on ‘em!! spoilers for the entire volume under the cut

so if anyone happens to open this and is like “wow this is more words than i’ve seen you use ever” lol yup! it’s probably the most words i’ve written since high school lmao. feel free to read through if ya really want but this is mostly just my own way of organizing my thoughts for this kind of stuff rather than making a million different posts on random parts of it. this way if i want to look back in the future and say “haha wow can’t believe i thought THAT” it’s all in one easy location! i don’t expect anyone else to be reading all this shite lol

thoughts on the volume as a whole:

honestly i loved it!! there’s very little that i would’ve changed and most of that is nit-picking stuff. i’m very impressed that this volume was made in quarantine lmao. the animation in and of itself was STUNNING (shout out to the finale’s water animation...the aura break particle effects...the cinnamon topography of the amity scenes...all of the facial & body expressions...the whale disintegrating...)

i’d honestly say that it’s probably my second favorite volume?? volume 4 is still my beloved but v8 was so good. i’ll probably need to watch it through a few more times but god. i LOVED IT.

honorable mention cause idk where else to put it: some of the scores were breathtaking!!! i tend not to notice background music on my first watch unless it really sticks out to me and there were quite a few scenes where that happened in a good way this volume. the ones where cinder breaks into the atlas control room and the one at the end when atlas is flooding are probably my favs!!! also there was this one part where it was just screeching over ironwood and it worked really really well.

okay so now for individual characters. let’s start with ruby:

i would like to fund her therapy

very surprised that she didn’t “break” this volume! i was sort of expecting it to happen--between ironwood, the amity plan only kind of working, the hound, the virus, and the fact that she was separated from her usual support system (qrow, yang, and jaune), i was definitely expecting her to. i’m glad she didn’t though cause it’s gonna be so much harder when she actually does (probably when she finds out that cinder has the relics and penny’s dead...)

massive shout out to lindsay jones for managing to make squeaky-voiced ruby still sound like ruby even while going through a whole host of emotions we’ve never seen ruby go through before!

god. that scene where crescent rose fell into the drink and ruby scrambled after it. my heart dropped lmao.

also. this is likely because i’ve got an engineering degree (which came with a free stick up my butt when it comes to technology in media) but the line where they say “mass no longer matters” wrt her semblance??? WHAT??? bro splitting mass up into smaller chunks doesn’t change the actual mass of the material itself what is going on here 😭😭😭 (this isn’t a real criticism of any kind i just yelled WHAT after they said that line lmao)

weiss:

i have one single weiss criticism and its that, in the scene where she’s leaving whitley to go fight the hound, she says “we still need to work on your attitude” and for whatever reason, the voice track doesn’t sound like it was quite mixed right? like it sounds like she’s just standing there rolling her eyes but my girl is BOOKING it out of the room lmao

other than that: weiss you are PERFECT. she really spent this entire volume saving and taking care of the people she loves!!! and i loved every second of it!!!

i would’ve liked to see more of her and klein/whitley/willow. i think there’s a lot of great stuff in that dynamic (not me crying when klein showed up at the manor...) and especially between weiss and her mother. i hope we get one big schneeuinon in vacuo once they + winter are all in the same location (but that’s gonna be a while i think lmao)

it’s been said a million times before but weiss?? shaking and crying but using gambol shroud anyway?? even though she thinks her teammates are all dead?? giving ruby the staff and pushing her out of the line of fire and pulling blake back to safety??? fighting cinder, a fucking wholeass maiden, with no aura because she needs to protect penny?? only unable to get up and keep fighting after she watches gambol shroud (the last physical piece she has of her teammates) go over the edge??? bro. BRO. i’m legit tearing up just TYPING THAT. god she’s gonna find her team at that island resort and never let them go. gonna be like v4 jaune all over again huh??

blake/yang:

not as much here since they didn’t get a whole lot of focus this volume, but i enjoyed all their scenes! yang just fuckin going at salem was 1000/10.

i will say...i think blake’s gonna kiss yang when they meet up in tropical paradise. and good for her!! (especially if this volume’s been planned since the beginning, it makes sense that this would be the writers’ idea for where they wanted their first kiss to be)

jaune:

going from ren saying “he has no fear. he believes that we can do this” about jaune to, five chapters later, forcing jaune to deliver a killing blow to penny was just CRUEL

the fucking dissonance of jaune haha!-awkward-renora-moment-exit vomit-boy-through-the-portals hit-in-the-head-with-a-rock arc being the one that penny asks..............bro. don’t hmu.

it’s going to be such a long time until we see him smile again.

also. the moment when crocea mors snaps in half...again, my stomach dropped.

but it’s okay! he’ll be fine without a weapon! he’s the ~strategist~! *breaks the fuck down*

it hurts so much too to think about, like oscar mentioned.....even if/when he does reunite with ren and nora, he’s not gonna be the same person he was when they last saw him. he’s not gonna be their goofy, wholesome, soft, snarky, healer team leader anymore. he just got his shit sorted out, he just stopped being actively suicidal, and tbh i think this might affect him worse than what happened with pyrrha. especially since they were compounding in his brain--what he did gave penny more of a choice than pyrrha ever got, but GEEZ.

pain. just. pain.

nora:

NORA MY BELOVED

okay. OKAY. so like she was passed out for half the volume but what we did get of her was fucking amazing

nora’s mom i am going to find you and have some words. i’ve mentioned this before but this woman has the same energy as the mom from grave of the fireflies who was like “i know we’re actively being bombed right now but i’m going to abandon my children and get myself to safety.” SQUARE UP BITCH. i hope we never see nora’s mom in the show because i will become filled with rage

but nora herself??? flawless. perfection.

i really did love her journey this volume. realizing that she wants to become her own person apart from ren, and then telling him that when he says that he loves her?? nora sweetie that was heartbreaking but i am SO SO PROUD OF YOU.

nora putting herself first for once and being told that people love her WE FREAKING LOVE TO SEE IT

except NOW that’s all gonna go haywire 😭😭😭

like...the moment in the finale where you can see she’s hesitant to leave jaune to to go vacuo but she goes anyway because he’s her leader and he doesn’t like splitting up either and she loves him and she trusts him only for her to get STUCK ON THE OTHER SIDE BANGING ON THE PORTAL. that scene fucking BROKE me. you just KNOW she’s gonna be hating herself for going through and leaving jaune (even though nobody knew it was one way!!!) and when the portal dissolves and he doesn’t come through........

she really thinks that she’s lost TWO teammates now. that’s TWO teammates that she wasn’t able to save. she saved ren from the nuckelavee but pyrrha’s dead and as far as she knows jaune’s dead too

and jaune’s her fucking family!!!!!!!

and like. when we see her on the vacuo side of the portal, we see that she’s got the happy huntresses behind her. she did her job and she gathered them but now she can’t get back through and AHHHHHH. FUCK. when she drops to her knees because she realizes.........that fucking killed me. i’m tearing up now just typing this sdmndbm

and like. the worst part is that she just realized that she wants some time away from ren. but everyone else is gone and just like when they were kids he’s all she’s got and they are gonna lean on each other harder than ever because this time they both lost EVERYTHING. not just jaune, but ruby, who was their teammate for a while too. weiss, who took such great care of nora while she was injured. penny, who nora helped with blake’s advice. yang, who ren had time to bond with this volume. FUCK

it’s gonna hurt so bad to watch but i cannot WAIT to see what nora does next and how she moves forward. god. this is gonna kill her. it’s killing ME and i’m just a viewer lmao

ren:

remember that one week where neath went on twitter and was like “i love renora and i’m gonna make that everyone else’s problem”??? yeah. that was a good week lmao

speaking of neath. MASSIVE PROPS TO HIM FOR HIS WORK. he managed to give ren every single emotion in the book this volume and none of it sounded ooc despite ren being such a repressed character before. he did incredible!!!!

I LOVED REN SO MUCH THIS VOLUME GOD. i mean i love him in every volume BUT HE HAD SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS AND SUCH A GOOD ARC

i’ve already talked about it at length but the scene where his semblance evolves is one of my favorites in the whole show. he’s so fucking full of love that it’s literally tearing him apart and when he finally accepts that fact his ENTIRE SOUL levels up!!! he looks at himself and there are pink petals falling off of him because he can’t contain the love in his body anymore!!! it’s there in a literal, physical manifestation and it’s so. fucking. GOOD. FUCK.

and also my obligatory remark about how he was thinking about oscar and pyrrha and his parents in that moment. people he loved platonically and familially. rwby goes so fucking hard for platonic love and i can’t ever thank them enough. to see ren have this realization because he was thinking about oscar.....god i’m gonna cry again LMAO

and then after that the way that he just. looks at jaune in every scene with the biggest fucking heart eyes. i’m gonna fucking combust he loves his  leader SO MUCH. (which. as i mentioned in the nora section. pain now)

and the nora stuff........JUST AS GOOD

another thing i’ve talked about a lot but to see him apologize, be emotionally open, listen to what nora’s saying and what nora needs, TELL HER THAT HE LOVES HER FIRST, not holding a single thing against her, agreeing to wait for her to be ready.........literal perfection holy shit

romance is normally not one of my favorite aspects of any media but i will make an exception for whatever the fuck ren and nora got going on

basically as a ren stan / jnpr stan i was thriving this volume and then that finale hit me and i know i will be in pain until they reunite again

i have a handful of jnr gifs that i was planning to make during the hiatus but now they’re all PAIN aksjhdasjdh

oscar:

deeply worried about the quickly approaching merge. i’m really hoping that oscar and oz stay separate but i also love seeing all the animation/voice acting nuances that indicate that they’re getting closer to the merge.......AH

this volume really hammered home just how strong this kid is. he stands up to SALEM and does the right thing even despite the torture cause he’s so BRAVE and STRONG and when he trusted hazel with the password DESPITE IT ALL. ugh. so good.

i love oscar so much and i’ve loved seeing him grow!!!

penny:

serious stuff coming in the next bullet point but. GOD. her model’s head is so big and i don’t know WHY but this stuck out to me every time she was standing next to someone else. it might be because of the volume of her hair (but yang’s hair also has a lot of volume, and her head is normal sized)??? idk it just threw me off a lot. every time she was like, talking to ruby or something, all i could think about was how her head was bigger than ruby’s ENTIRE TORSO lmao. (also why didn’t they give her human body shoes skdjhaksjh)

that said.........oh, penny 😭😭😭😭😭

i’m surprised that she died but only because i thought her plot armor was pretty thick LMAO. narratively it makes a lot of sense and i’m glad her story ended the way it did.

i’ve seen a lot of people interpreting her actions in the finale as “choosing to die,” but i don’t think that’s the case?? penny’s friends all saved her every single time that she presented her own death as an option. that’s what makes this so tragic, is that they successfully saved her every time she offered that, and that in the end, she still died. she was gonna die anyway. she was impaled by cinder--jaune didn’t have enough time to heal her before cinder defeated weiss (who had no aura!!) and turned on them again. penny made her own choices when 1. she asked to die at the hands of a friend, rather than by cinder’s soul-sucking grimm arm and whatever horrible fate that includes and 2. to choose her successor. and i don’t blame her for making either of those choices! she wanted to die with as much dignity as peace as she could and to choose whose life she would be intertwined with. and while it’s very sad, i’m glad that penny finally got some sense of control over herself and her legacy.

and like...she was so happy when she met up with winter!! she was so happy to have full autonomy for once!!! that scene was both heartwarming and heartbreaking!!!

i also think that penny’s death reinforces the idea that remnant is gonna be very different by the time rwbyjnorqe is done with it. now not one but two kindhearted girls have gotten killed because they got tangled up in the maiden powers—which were originally meant to be a gift!! and i’m very interested to see what the resolution is gonna be!! (i know it’s gonna be in like. volume 52 or something alsjfndnx but still!!)

also, if nothing else, i am very glad that whole “pietro sacrifices the last of his aura to revive her” theory is gone. i hate that theory lmao

i will say, while i enjoyed penny’s role this volume, i do think that maybe some of her screentime could’ve gone elsewhere. i get that there needed to be a lot of focus on her, so that we would be attached when she died, but i think it would’ve been beneficial to spread that screentime elsewhere just a bit, especially since she wasn’t really developing at all. hitting the same point with her like seven times did start to feel a bit repetitive lol. my vote would be for extra time with the schnees, or the jn(o)r reunion at schnee manor, or maybe a scene checking in with pietro and maria!!

emerald:

EMERALD MY BELOVED

YOU DEFECTED!!!! GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!!

i hope we get a LOT more time with her in the future. she’s still gotta work out the cinder thing of course but i also think it’s gonna be super interesting to see how she acts now that she (alongside oscar, ren, nora, the hh, and winter) is one of the closest things their group has to a “leader”

also like........good for her for being one of the LEAST traumatized people this volume despite being THREATENED BY SALEM

somebody give emerald a nice long hug

i love her

that is all

winter:

WINTER OH MY GOD

seeing her struggle with her emotions all volume.....only to finally accept them and save marrow’s life.....and because of that choice she realizes how long overdue it was and goes all in on helping the heroes.....and is eventually chosen to become the next winter maiden by the girl who challenged her to accept her emotions in the first place......😭😭😭 chef’s kiss

“you chose nothing. this was a gift.” *demolishes ironwood but doesn’t stick around cause he’s not worth it* *fights cinder* POETIC CINEMA!!!!!

also i cannot wait to see her schneeunion with willow, whitley, and klein.......even if she does have to be the one to tell them what happened to weiss 😭

cinder:

CINDER I HATE YOU BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN

her backstory was pretty self explanatory but i think this was a good time to spell it out especially while we were in atlas. the culmination of that, her consistent failures to achieve her goals after v3, and watts dragging her really all just came together to make her so much more intimidating and efficient and i loved watching it.

like i know there’s people who don’t like her as a character but she’s always so fun to watch and her va does AMAZING and she’s just. so INTERESTING

also. i cannot wait for her to find out that ruby and neo are both alive (and especially when salem finds out they’re both alive LMAO)

also also her line to ruby about never being born feels.......awfully specific??? i wonder if it’s a hint at some other part of salem/cinder/ruby/summer lore (like her “and i refuse to starve” line from last volume)

also also also CINDER.......lying to salem is gonna backfire on you at one point or another.......HM

salem:

gosh i love salem. she’s such a good villain and i loved all her scenes (especially the fight scene...SO COOL).

very interested in whatever she does next!! since the only remaining lackey she has is cinder (who is now starting to try to manipulate her) and tyrian and mercury, who are in vacuo, i’m curious about her next steps. is she gonna keep recruiting, now that people know who she is?? is she gonna come to vacuo herself?? she could definitely do a WHOLE LOT OF DAMAGE with the refugee situation there, so i’m super excited to see how her next moves play out!!

hazel/tyrian/watts/merc/neo:

rip hazel. glad we were able to get an INSANE fight scene out of him before his death BUT ALSO WHAT’S WITH YOU BEATING THE SNOT OUT OF A 14 YEAR OLD HUH

listen. listen. i know merc-rescues-oscar was never a possibility BUT i still love that idea. it lives in my mind rent free!!!

i feel like mercury’s gonna be so insane after the worst road trip ever in a confined space with tyrian that he’s gonna be immediately redeemed by team sssnn and the power of himbofication upon landing in vacuo LMAO

real talk though, i am VERY interested in what happens when mercury sees emerald again and learns she defected. like, this is his friend, who he’s tried to keep safe the only way he knows how (by keeping his head down and not angering their abuser) and she got out but he didn’t. GOD. AND in the first fight she was in after defecting, she used the move that she learned by watching him!!!! that’s gonna be SO GOOD and i can’t wait to see it!!!

neo is a wildcard and i love watching her fight and i think it’s SO INTERESTING that she went over the side with rwby and jaune and i CAN’T WAIT to see what she does next.

WATTS MY DUDE. what a GOOD volume for him. like the stuff where he yells at cinder was SO COOL to see and it was so funny that he thought that wasn’t gonna come back to bite him LMAO. i think this was super fitting for him and while i like him as a villain, i think this was a good place for his story to end. i had a lot of fun watching his scenes this volume.

qrow/robyn:

I LOVE THEIR SIBLING ENERGY. robyn talking qrow down and them bonding over their semblances together was so great.

i also loved qrow’s semblance...evolving?? changing?? idk what exactly happened yet, but i know that if i too hung out with robyn hill for 48 hours straight my outlook on life would improve dramatically.

i do hope robyn makes it to vacuo soon because she will be invaluable at handling the refugee crisis there.

on the other hand, if qrow gets to vacuo and finds out that ruby and yang (and three more of his adopted kids) never made it........PAIN. oh my god it’s gonna be like summer all over again 😭😭

aceops:

did not expect to get teary-eyed when vine died. and yet i did. that “themes of death” cw on the finale was CERTAINLY SOMETHING HUH

hell yeah marrow!!! what a good boi!!! i loved his defection ofc and him going off on ironwood...chefs kiss

i hope marrow sticks with the main cast. he’s my favorite and he deserves to see his friends again!!!

as for elm and harriet, i’m not sure?? i think harriet still has a lot of work to do before she’s redeemed in my eyes. maybe they can be dropped off at beacon to help glynda fight the grimm/rebuild so that they can be back for the show’s ending but the cast is somewhat trimmed for vacuo lmao

also. i know they’re not aceops. but WHERE ARE FLYNT AND NEON ARE THE MEME KIDS OKAY

happy huntresses:

may marigold is literally perfect in every way

loved them! would’ve loved to see more of them lmao. maybe even just cutting back to them in the crater reacting to some of the stuff going on.

i very much hope we get to see them in the future! i know the vacuans aren’t gonna be happy with the atlas/mantle people showing up unannounced but i feel like if there’s anyone who’s gonna be able to earn their respect, it’s the organized-and-saved-the-lives-of-those-downtrodden-by-atlas-happy-huntresses.

maria & pietro:

okay. SO. my thoughts are either that they made it to vacuo (penny did see where amity would touch down, so it’s possible that a portal was placed in that location and they made it through) or qrow picks them up.

either way, i hope we get to see them again. I LOVE THESE TWO GEEZERS!!!

oh, pietro......... *cries*

ironwood:

not much to say here except that i loved it. i loved how he got more and more paranoid, i loved that he vaporized jacques schnee, i loved that he only went cartoon-villain at the last moment, i loved that he died unceremoniously surrounded by the thing he thought would save them all. i love that cinder got in one final chess reference beforehand. 10/10

the hound:

it feels like a lifetime ago that this guy died but holy shit. holy SHIT.

i want whitley to summon the hound!! it was an enemy that pushed him to grow, i think it would be neat!!

ambrosius:

LOVED THIS DUDE. i LOVE how his powers work!!! like, even though it’s magic, it’s so realistic because that’s how creation works!!! you gotta design the EXACT thing you want or else its gonna be fucked up!!!

like. okay. so (back on my engineering bs again lmao) for example. let’s say i’m writing a program where the user enters a number from 1-10 and it’s displayed on the computer screen. so i write whatever code i need that says “take user input and put on screen.” that’s what ambrosius did when he created the portals and the pathways between them!

and then let’s say i also put a warning to the user that says “only enter numbers from 1-10.” that would be ambrosius saying “do not fall.”

but...the user can still enter whatever they want. what happens if they put in the number 100? what happens if they type a letter? this program only puts numbers from 1-10 on screen, so who knows what’s gonna happen. and that’s what happens when people fall off the railings!!!

“oh, but you told them what numbers to enter” yeah but humans are unpredictable and ya gotta account for the human element when doing stuff like this!! team rwby didn’t account for people falling off--because why would people fall off if they were told not to? but the human element messed that up anyway!!!

anyways i’m a fucking nerd apparently but it was super cool to see that reflected in ambrosius!!! i’m a big fan!!!

like whenever people call him tricky or sneaky...no!!! he was just doing exactly what he was told to do!!!! so good!!!

also i wanna see him hang out with his sister jinn lmao

alright and here’s my thoughts/predictions for v9:

first off i just wanna say that this entire section (this entire post really, but especically this section) is just me spitballing lmao. we literally have ZERO clue what’s happening next or where they are, i’m just throwing out some stuff that’s crossed my mind! whatever crwby gives us is gonna be infinitely better than whatever i come up with lmao

that said, i have two ideas for what could be happening in madagascar.

option one is the one i’ve seen other people toss around, which is the whole wonderland-land-of-the-dead thing. i’m kinda torn on this because i think it could be good for penny’s storyline, but not really anyone else’s?? sure, yang and ruby could see summer, but weiss would see...jacques?? and blake would see...adam?? i’m not sure what weiss and blake would have to say to them/learn from them the same way ruby and yang would.

on that same idea, jaune could definitely see pyrrha, but again, i’m wondering what purpose that would serve? obviously jaune’s actions in the finale were guided by pyrrha (or specifically her mom, and realizing that pyrrha never had a choice either), but it’s clear that that’s the case for all of team jnpr, and it will be probably forever. their scene together at pyrrha’s memorial felt like they were closing the door--specifically--on their grief. on the other hand, those actions are super relevant right now and i will never turn down the chance to see pyrrha!!! it’s just free waterworks babey!!!

neo also has roman, but i can’t really see roman admitting to anyone that he got swallowed by a grimm 😭😭 just seems too embarrassing for him LMAO

for penny, i think this could work nicely. all she ever wanted was to not have her life controlled by others--kind of like alice in wonderland (the disney movie version because i am fairy tale illiterate lmao). if penny gets to exist after death in a land where she gets to choose everything for herself i think she would be very happy!

again, if this ends up being the case, crwby could 100% make it work! (and i am 0% opposed to maya model pyrrha.) i just personally am not as sold on this being the case as some others are.

option two imo is vacuo but in the past. which i know seems kind of weird BUT i have reasons!

so we know a few things about vacuo. one, it used to be an oasis and was considered a paradise until atlas and mistral destroyed it for the dust. two, it has giant motherfucking crabs that people like to eat. yes this is all i have to go off of BUT both of those things are in the end credits scene we got!

also, them landing in past-vacuo makes sense on ambrosius’ level. their “one way ticket” probably didn’t include all four dimensions of coordinates--so i could see them landing in the same x, y, and z as the official doorway, but at a different time. the creation would still do exactly what it was asked to do--drop them in vacuo.

there’s also a couple other things. “vacuo” means “in a vacuum” which i’ve heard v9 is supposed to be. also in before the dawn, sun saw some bigass magic tree that awakened his semblance which this one definitely could qualify as

(okay. side note. when i first saw the tree i thought of the glowy tree from james cameron blue people avatar. IDK WHY, i haven’t seen that movie in years??? i also had to google it to make sure i wasn’t making it up and apparently it’s called the “tree of souls.” which would also make sense if it helped sun awakened his semblance. i don’t think rwby based something off of blue people avatar, it’s probably more likely that blue people avatar is based off of some fairytale/mythology that i don’t know anything about LMAO)

i don’t actually think option two is gonna happen, but it was fun to think about!!

also either option opens the opportunity to time not passing 1:1 in current vacuo & rwby’s island getaway which???????? AHHHHH

alright so now to the actual characters lmao. i mentioned wby earlier. i honestly have no clue what neo’s gonna be up to, she’s such a wild card and i LOVE IT.

ruby and jaune is gonna be...........PAIN. NO MATTER WHAT. i have no idea how ruby is gonna react--she might just be so overwhelmed by everything that she snaps/yells at jaune which. PAIN. but she also might not?? which. ALSO PAIN. i feel like no matter what ruby does, jaune’s gonna blame himself anyway. god. i love their friendship SO MUCH and this is gonna HURTTTT

and on that, he doesn’t have ren and nora this time to pull him back from the ledge. this dude’s guilt complex is gonna go crazy especially since he doesn’t have his team and double especially if ruby/rwby blames him for what happened. god it’s gonna HURT TO WATCH.

on a wildly different note, i hope we do get to see vacuo/qrow throughout volume 9. if i go a whole volume without ren and nora i WILL cry lmao.

also it’s gonna be super interesting to see how their group fares!!! vacuo’s fuckin nuts and i’d love to see winter just destroying the grimm there (3 headed giraffe my beloved) and see how the atlas/mantle refugees handle the climate--and how the vacuans react to all of them LMAO

ALSO!!!! THE SULFER FISH WERE THERE!!! very glad to see that they’re in vacuo too because from the concept art it seems like they have super unique abilities and i’m excited that we may get to properly see them, instead of just cameos!!!

team cfvy pspspspspspsps theodore and rumpole pspspspspsps team sssnn pspspspspsps

and, of course, i gotta mention that any possible jnr reunion WILL tear my heart out and i will probably cry for days. i gotta start emotionally preparing now LMAO

alright and that wraps it up!! if anyone makes it down to the bottom props to you!! i don’t expect anyone to actually read this mess lmao. tldr: INCREDIBLE volume and i’m so hype for v9 already!!!

[fefairys]

lmao im not saying feel bad for existing, but that saying "uwu being morbidly obese is good!" enables people to not give a shit and be unhealthy for the rest of their lives and probably die prematurely. also nobody is "gentically predisposed" to be fuckin obese ahaha diets + counting calories is literally the scientific way how to lose weight and works for the vast VAST majority of people and it /takes time/ so u saying stuff abt how diets dont work or w/e is complete bs

oooooh my god you are so fucking ignorant. 

fine. i will google a few words and give you links since youre apparently too lazy to do so yourself i’ll even take some quotes from them cause i bet you wont click on a single one.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201010/why-diets-dont-work-and-what-does “ Being obese or overweight can be caused by early life trauma. Although I had known this for some time, I was amazed to discover the well-documented research on the obesity-trauma connection. In one early study of 286 obese people, half had been sexually abused as children. In these cases, "...overeating and obesity weren't the central problems, but attempted solutions." For these people, therapy might be a prerequisite to healthy weight loss—it could help clients identify the feelings and situations behind emotional over-eating and replace it with healthier self-care patterns. (A much larger study of over 17,000 people provided further documentation of the links between "adverse childhood experiences;" unhealthy behaviors like smoking, drinking, and overeating; and mental, emotional, and even medical disorders later in life.) “  WOW WHO WOULDA GUESSED!!!! 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-people-diet-lose-weight-and-gain-it-all-back/

“Dr. Griebeler says the culprit is your “weight set point”: the weight your body is programmed to be. Your weight set point is a combination of several factors, including your: -Genetics -Hormones -Behavior -Environment”

but no, genetic predisposition to being fat is “bullshit” fucking idiot. you cant even fucking google one thing like its so easy! you cant fact check the insults you throw out?? go fuck yourself.

“Beware of the quick-fix, Dr. Griebeler warns. “A fad diet won’t change your set point. It’s just restricting calories,” he says. “Your body is very efficient. You can successfully lose weight for a while, but at some point, your body simply adjusts to need fewer calories to function.”Which means weight loss will eventually stop, unless you start eating even less than your diet calls for. (You can see where this is going.)“

that whole article debunks a lot youve said, fucking moron. 

https://theconversation.com/appearance-vs-reality-the-perfectly-healthy-obese-1904

“ The most fascinating part of this is evidence suggests that up to a ⅓ of people who are obese are metabolically healthy.”

not that this really matters to me, because yes, most people who are obese are metabolically unhealthy. 

my overall point is it is REALLY FUCKING HARD to lose weight and keep it off. it is altering your ENTIRE LIFE. you DO NOT HAVE TO BE THIN TO BE HEALTHY. 

but, THAT DOES NOT. FUCKING MEAN. THAT THEY ARENT A PERSON. FAT PEOPLE ARE FUCKING HUMAN AND DESERVE RESPECT. THEY DO NOT DESERVE TO BE YELLED AT FOR “”””GLORIFYING OBESITY~~~~”””’’ JUST FOR FUCKING EXISTING AS FAT. BECAUSE! THATS ALL I FUCKING DID!!!!! and you have decided to harass me for it! just like fucking everyone else on the planet! congrats! 

don’t you have something fucking better to do that harassing one fat person on the internet???? jesus! 

[blackandblueandstars]

It's Okay Pt12

TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses mental, emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Especially sensitive for LGBT readers.

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9 Pt10 Pt11

"I...may have already started thinking about this," Lily admitted coyly.

"Alright then," said Adrian with a smile. "What's your plan?"

Lily began to explain.

"I hack into their system and get all the info I need to turn over to the FBI," she said.

"Will the FBI do anything?" asked Jax. "I mean, our government isn't very decisive when it comes to this kind of thing."

"Oh, no, you're totally right," said Lily. "That's why I'm going to frame them for sex trafficking, specializing in children. I can leave the necessary evidence when I hack their system. The government won't be able to ignore that."

"That..." Jax said, thoughtfully. "Might actually work."

"It's a great idea, Lil," said Adrian. "How can we help?"

---

As the trio plotted against the Scared Straight organization, Kamilah was pulled from sleep. Amy was whimpering and tossing.

"Hey," Kamilah said softly. Amy slowly opened her eyes, exhaustion wearing on her. "Are you okay?" asked Kamilah.

"Yea," Amy mumbled. "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry," Kamilah reassured her. "I just want to help, if I can."

Amy turned, looking Kamilah in the eye.

"Why do people do this?" she asked. "Why do they go to such great lengths to change someone? Someone that they supposedly love?"

"I don't know, darling," she said. "It doesn't make sense."

"I just feel so useless," Amy confessed. "I survived all of that, the rape, the shock therapy, the abuse...but for what? To lay here like a cracked China doll that could shatter if it's moved? I'm hurt, Kami, and broken, that's true. But I'm also angry. I want to do something about it."

"I hear you," Kamilah said. "And I think we should. Not right this minute, because you are hurt, and you need to heal. But I've been thinking about it too. After seeing what they did to you, to Sam...that isn't okay. I was thinking of starting an organization. And, I was hoping once you were feeling better, you'd want to head it up."

Amy looked at her in shock. "Really?" she asked, tears forming.

"If you like," said Kamilah. "And only when you're ready. There's no rush. It'll take some time to get set up anyway."

"Thank you," she said softly, tears streaming down her face. Though Kamilah didn't realize it, this was a big deal to Amy. She'd given her back her power, her control. She gave her a way to use this experience to make a difference in the lives of others. And finally, for the first time since that man slid his hand over her face, Amy felt hopeful. "Thank you," she said again, taking Kamilah's face in her hands and kissing her softly.

Kamilah smiled. Amy was acting more like herself. She was still worried about her, but she didn't feel worried about them, anymore. Her phone rang, and she stood to answer it.

"I'm going to change my clothes, try to clean up a bit," she said to Amy. "You should--" she turned and saw Amy fast asleep, "sleep." She smiled at her, grabbing her phone and going into the hallway so she didn't disturb Amy.

"Kamilah speaking," she answered.

"Kamilah, it's Gloria," said her lawyer.

"Oh, hello," Kamilah replied.

"I'm calling about the adoption. I've submitted all of the necessary paperwork, it should go pretty smoothly since we already went through the process a few years ago."

Kamilah thought back to that time. She was looking for some meaning in her life, and thought that providing for a child, helping to raise them, could give her that. But things were unstable then, and she didn't want to bring someone into her life who would be at risk. It felt different with Sam, she thought. She already knew the girl and had a soft spot for her, admittedly. And Kamilah could offer her safety.

"Remind me," Kamilah said. "How far did we get the last time?"

"Well," said Gloria, "you were approved. I believe we'll need to do some recertification but my contact assures me that things will move relatively quickly, especially since Sam is in need of a home. I'm hoping that you'll be able to take her home from the hospital, but we'll have to see."

"Wow," said Kamilah. "Thank you. I'm so glad to hear that."

"Of course," said Gloria. "I'll let you know if I need anything from you as I move the process along. They'll probably need to do a home visit, so be prepared for that."

"Of course," said Kamilah. "Whatever they need I am happy to do. I just want to give Sam a safe place to call home after everything she's gone through."

"Alright then," said Gloria. "I'll keep you in the loop."

"Thank you, Gloria," said Kamilah, ending the call.

She wanted to tell Sam and Amy, but she was afraid to do so until she was certain everything would work out. She couldn't hide the wide smile on her face, though. She was happy, and she knew they would be happy too.

She decided to text Adrian...she needed to share the news with someone.

---

Lily typed furiously, gathering intel and wrapping it in a tidy package for the FBI.

"I don't know how much fabrication I'll even have to do," said Lily. "This organization is disgusting."

"I can't say that I'm surprised," said Jax.

Adrian was quiet, smiling at his phone.

"This is a big step," he responded to Kamilah. "I am so happy for you."

Lily clapped her hands, drawing him back to the room.

"Done!" she said. "I've left breadcrumbs and intel all over the internet. The Feds will find it soon. They may start making arrests before tomorrow," she said with a grin.

Jax bowed to her. "I'm not worthy," he said.

Adrian laughed. "Great job Lily," he said. "It feels good, getting some justice."

Lily smiled. "Yea," she said. "It does."

Part 13

Have an idea for a fanfic? Check out my follower appreciation post.

Author's Note: I had the idea to write this after watching a segment about a conversion camp. This has been particularly hard for me to write, but it feels necessary to me to explore the horrors that people exactly like myself have experienced. I wanted to add some resources where people share real stories of their experiences and survivors can go to find help:

National Center for Lesbian Rights

Love is a Rainbow

Article from The Cut

Tag list: @h-doodles @scarlet-letter-a0114 @idkbutkamilah @lightning-fury @galaxyside-0 @blogsupitssam @ilovetaylor13m @la-guera-69 @adrianrainesworld @iam-the-fuckin-queen

[truthaliar]

aiiiiiiight so here’s a post about mental health representation in media; or in other words: my mental health and apparently, the umbrella academy.

ps i am in no way, shape or form a mental health professional - this is just retelling an experience i had

sooo okay i was talking to my therapist. i’m gonna paraphrase this but basically she was like ‘do you watch umbrella academy’ and i was like ‘yea my friends are trying to figure out who is who in my friend group’ and it basically went ‘oh did they put you as diego? good, let’s talk about your hero complex.’ 

now to clarify i’m not typically like super open about it, but i have ptsd & anxiety. my panic disorder is mostly controlled at this point (ie i can now pinpoint triggers). a few weeks ago i finally told my mom i had ptsd after several years and she just responded, ‘i know.’

anyway, i ended up learning that there’s peer reviewed articles about umbrella academy in psychiatric journals, highlighting the show’s potential as a mental health tool. also i never really saw myself in any of tua characters but vaguely recognized my obsession w/ justice in diego, and also saw myself in five’s caffeine addiction. so the fact that a medical person... saw diego - weirds me out a little. more on that in a sec.

so my therapist, i guess let’s call her fran, said that diego’s behavior & habits are tied to his inability to introspect and manage his own emotions so he externalizes & fixates on justice, this external thing that has clear, logical right & wrong, something that he can take into his own hands bc he feels that the system is broken. it’s easier for him to focus on that than on fixing himself.

to be clear she said it’s fairly common for ppl in diff branches of medicine to feel this way to a degree; you’re trained to be more detached from your emotions so it’s not unusual to (slightly-moderately) go either the diego route or the luther route if you begin to lose it (and hopefully not the five route cuz that’s a whole diff story). of course these are extremes (and she said i have parallels to diego, not that i have anywhere near his level of hero complex)

even still when she said that -- it hit different. like when my friends cast each other, it’s something we’ve been doing for years right? it’s just fun, and yea you often poke fun at yourself/each other in the process -- but it’s not the same as a professional saying ‘look at this extreme characterization of what could happen if you don’t take a step back‘. honestly my response was, ‘wow that doesn’t seem healthy.’

so the diego route is feeling like the system has failed you. therefore you want to act against or destroy the system that let you down, that didn’t care about you, that didn’t nurture you, and build something better -- on your own because the whole damn thing is unjust and it isn’t fair. the emotion you use to cope with is anger. and to build a new system you need people to back you. to get people to back you, you need to save them. kill the system, fix the broken. you might think you’re doing it on your own, but your success is still contingent on there being problems to solve.

the luther route -- based on my understanding bc she didn’t think i did this -- is more adhering yourself to the system and saying ‘good or bad, it’s by wedding myself to the system through which i will succeed, and i must be important because the system let me in to begin with.’

ofc any person can begin to display traits of any of those characters or of multiple characters, and to repeat they’re all in rough shape. and just bc she implied those are the two fairly common ways to feel in doesn’t mean you can’t be a klaus or a vanya or an allison or whoever you see similarities with.. like that’s the point. everyone responds to trauma differently. and it’s also a one-size fits all. she didn’t mean to and i do not mean to represent the siblings as perfect representations -- only that it does happen to match my behavior.

fran told me that to snap out of the hero complex, at least sometimes, you have to be able to separate yourself from the injustice that surrounds you n understand that people aren’t helpless and you are not here to save everyone. bc first of all - that’s a lot of fuckin’ work and second of all - that’s kinda rude to assume that people can’t fix their own problems. and unless they ask us for help, it’s our job to let them. after all, i’d be pissed if someone thought i needed saving.

so then comes the part i struggle with which is detaching yourself from the work you inevitably choose that focuses on solving problems. i’m shit at it; i’m always fucking problem-solving. i can’t turn it off. i can’t make it stop. and it carries over from my youth bc i felt like i was the only person that could see the solutions to the very real problems in my life. like diego, i’d zoom in and fixate (helloooo jfk plotline) and try to do something about it. turns out i got pretty good at this, and that spurred my career path. i never wanted to see myself as the victim. ever. even after i endured certain traumas that i don’t want to disclose. in my mind, i was never broken. the situations were just injust; and i couldn’t fix... the people, but maybe i could fix the situations.

so what did justice look like to me? i love my family, so i mostly focused on my career - something i could undoubtedly shape on my own. developed a list of people whose jobs i wanted to steal. out of revenge, feeling i could bring justice to the field by bringing my mindset to the table. sound vaguely familiar?

also probably not the healthiest fictional character to relate to. worse still, even arya was able to let go of her vindictive streak at the end of the day (at least in the show) -- something i am still working on. (also probably a good time for a reminder that the plan is to get good enough in my field to ‘steal jobs’ so that i can mold the field into what i want it to be, not actually physically hurt people). i did take up fencing tho.

soooo now it’s 2020. and i’m 28. and something important happened.

i was talking with my mentor and as we were chatting i realized that there is a job out there that i want. and not because i want to steal it out of a sense of ‘revenge’ -- but because i really like that person’s job. that i could see myself in that position because i love what it entails. and i think it’s the first time i ever saw that.

in eight months of constant therapy, i’ve realized that i do have a dream vet school; i do have a dream job; that my life is more than just trying to fix the world.

complexes don’t go away overnight and i kept things purposely vague - i’ll always have a little bit of ‘save the world’ in me.

but i can now say that tech school finishes in 10 months. it’ll be over in less than a year. i submit my vet school app in a week, with a much more refined & steady focus. i’m kind of ready to pursue happiness again. i’m much more confident that i’ll get where i want to be.

and whatever ya know? i’ll figure it out as i go

but tada there’s the story of my therapist seeing me in diego hargreeves, what the fuck.

[requiem-for-ravenholm]

this is a lot holy geez buT SUPER INTIMATE QUESTION TIME!!!! (per your most recent questionnaire!) 🐰 💗 ☀️ 😘 🐾 💧💛💚 😪 🐝 (if THIS doesnt send i will PERSONALLY sue @staff)

Thanks for sending something in anon, these were legitimately v fun to answer, but I will issue a minor warning now bc some of these got highly personal with my emotional baggage PFFT 

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?   

My spiciest secret is that I ate handfuls of dirt from the garden as a kid bc I liked the cronch 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

I’m VERY touch-starved and a hug from anyone I know would be ideal atm :(( But I gotta say... my friend Suzy bc I haven’t seen her in almost a year now 

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

I’m not going to choose between my two best friends for this so I’ll talk about em both! Fave thing about my friend Suzy is how we got the same stupid as shit sense of humor and for that matter we basically have the same fuckin mind xsjnkjdsn tbh,, we frequently say what the other’s thinking n it’s freaky. My cousin Cory is my best friend as well! Fave thing about them is that they’re the sweetest person I have ever fucking known and the time we spend together is so relaxed bc I legit never have to fear judgement around them in any capacity. They’re very funny too obvi! 

😘 talk about your crush or partner

I do not have a crush on anyone or a partner currently, although I did have like. Major feelings for someone recently and he even reciprocated them but it kinda went,, nowhere very quickly tbh... that’s practically my fault though. 

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? 

Wow um, I never think about this much? Maybe abandonment, or the idea that I could never go anywhere in life, or accomplish anything noteworthy or substantial in any way... I dunno how I’ll overcome that tho exactly 

💧 when was the last time you cried?

God I think. I wanna say last month on my birthday was the last time I cried, as emo as that sounds LMAO I just hate my birthdays bc I feel as if I’m getting absolutely nowhere with my life + mental state even tho I’m getting older every year 

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

There’s so many things I could say... maybe I’d tell em to love and appreciate the people they have while they’re still around to receive it or maybe I’d slap the fuck outta them for procrastinating so much and being a little bitch for no reason at times, smh 

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

Mmndsjfkjxsdl maybe,, both my siblings a bit? If only because they both have so much drive and motivation and so much going for them while,, I feel so stagnated and completely deprived of energy constantly 

😪 what are you sick of?

Not to sound nihilistic but EVERYTHING man... it could just be because things in the world have sucked major balls lately but ugh. I could get into so much here but I’m not goin to. 

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

Ugh COMMUNICATION. My threshold for keeping up regular contact is 1-2 people at a time... I have almost no energy to socialize whatsoever and I’ve ghosted people over and over again for literally no good reason besides the fact  I apparently hate myself and don’t want good things XJNSKDSKL. It’s one of the reasons I’m wanting to get therapy and maybe the biggest thing about myself that I feel an urgent need to change bc it’s,, shitty 

[radinaandreeva]

Cold Interview: Year of the Spider - By Therese McKeon (From: ShoutWeb.com)

Scooter Ward is an emotional guy. In fact, as frontmen go, you can't get much more emotional. With "Year of the Spider", the band's third release, you find yourself feeling sad, angry, and even a bit weepy along with the raw-nerved singer. Discovering the diverse layers of Cold's music is as refreshing as it is depressing. The carefully weaving of Scooter's haunting vocals intertwines powerful songs with lyrics that have remarkable substance. Shoutweb hooked up with Cold's leading man for an often teary-eyed discussion of the meaning behind the tracks on "Year of the Spider" and why he pours his heart into his songs.

Kelly Hayes • guitar Scooter Ward • vocals Jeremy Marshall • bass Sam McCandless • drums Terry Balsamo • guitar

Shoutweb: Hey, how are you feeling? I heard you were sick a while back?

Scooter: I had something wrong with my throat. I had to get a shot in there so I could sing.

Shoutweb: Did you have to cancel any dates?

Scooter: We cancelled one actually because of that. It was in Omaha I think. They stick a needle in your throat then they give you something so the pain from sticking the needle in your throat is okay. I was like, "You know what, man? I'm just sleeping tonight."

Shoutweb: You started out in the Boston area with shows. How is the new material live?

Scooter: We've been together for so long and I think everything is getting better. We finally got the right crew and everybody so everything is really good.

Shoutweb: In the past when I've seen you live, I know you were sometimes frustrated with not getting the sound right.

Scooter: We had a major problem with that but we've finally worked everything out now.

Shoutweb: That's awesome. The times I've seen you live, things that may sound fine to me I could tell were not sounding right for you.

Scooter: (with cell phone ringing)

Shoutweb: Do you need to get that?

Scooter: No, that's just Terry. Fuck him. (laughter) Whenever he wakes up, he calls me. I'm always like, "What? Did you need to tell me about your dreams?"

Shoutweb: (laughter) Or "I missed you!"

Scooter: Yeah, right. "I've got coffee over here for you, baby." (laughter) I don't know what to tell him. It's a total waste of time. He thinks something special happened.

Shoutweb: He doesn't want to miss out. (laughter)

Scooter: It's funny though.

Shoutweb: Are you like the Dad of the band? Is everybody always checking in?

Scooter: It seems like that. They all check in with me to see what's happening or what they need to do. But I don't mind.

Shoutweb: Are you militant in that way?

Scooter: I'm not militant in that way but I am in the "get your fuckin' job done" kind of way, you know? I do so much that I think that they feel kind of guilty sometimes. They are always saying, "Well, man, we'll do something." When I give them shit to do, they're really stoked.

Shoutweb: You run a tight ship there. "You gotta step up!"

Scooter: I'm like, "Come on, man. You want to do this? Let's do this."

Shoutweb: You guys haven't been on tour for a while. I know September 11th did not help matters.

Scooter: We toured right up until then. We did a little headlining tour with Flaw and Dope and then we kind of stopped.

Shoutweb: Then the Weezer tour that went sour.

Scooter: The Weezer show was actually on the same day as the September 11th events. We were supposed to start the tour that night. I remember we were all at the hotel down in the lobby watching shit go down that morning. I ate a biscuit and went back to bed. I said, "If shit's going to be going down, I'm going to be dreaming."

Shoutweb: (laughter)

Scooter: (laughter) Fuck it.

Shoutweb: I need to ask you a bunch of things about this record. I don't know if it's because I have the flu right now or what but I literally almost starting crying.

Scooter: Yeah, I think that's what it was made for. I think once people actually get the lyrics that I really sing instead of making them up on the web sites, then they'll know what I'm talking about. I think when they really get them, because the stuff I'm reading is crap. When you read the real thing, it is way worse. That's how we write. I think that's what we need to do. I just feel like we need to do that. It's good therapy for us and for our fans that are so much like us. It's good that they can express the pain through that.

Shoutweb: Are you solely responsible for the lyrics?

Scooter: Yes. The music pretty much tells me what to do.

Shoutweb: Musically, this record is great but lyrically it's even better.

Scooter: Well, I do a lot of the music too. I really work on the music with the band then I kind of separate myself and go to write lyrics. I focus on the music first because it tells us what to write for lyrics.

Shoutweb: Wow, it's amazing. It's all such a foreign process to me.

Scooter: Me too.

Shoutweb: I usually will first listen to a record when I get it and take notes and then I listen to it a few more times. But with this record, just to enjoy it is such a pleasure.

Scooter: Well, thank you very much.

Shoutweb: It's strange because it is still very depressing and emotional but it is refreshing at the same time.

Scooter: It was really opening up. This is a really personal record. Like I was saying, we've written records before and I've written records that are just story telling a lot. I draw those emotions from me and the band and I just went off farther and kind of developed stories for them. But on this record, it's pretty much really about our lives and really about what we're going through. If I start crying during this interview, because I do that all the time when I start talking about this.

Shoutweb: Are you serious?

Scooter: Yeah.

Shoutweb: You're going to make me cry too. Well, this is what I wrote down about the whole record in my notes. You cannot sing these words and have them ring true, unless these things have happened to you. Now, I didn't mean it to rhyme but basically there you go. That was the feeling that it left me with. This is just too much.

Scooter: It was kind of like that when we were making the record and I was writing the lyrics in Hawaii because I can't write in Los Angeles.

Shoutweb: Really? You can't?

Scooter: Yeah, I don't know why. It's really weird. There's something in the air. We can do music in Los Angeles but I can't write the lyrics in Los Angeles. I don't get it. What happens is, I would come in and write these songs and they would be totally different topics of what they are now. I spoke to Howard Benson before I did this record and I was like, "Dude, I'm gonna make you cry by the time I bring the song in because I want you to understand. I want you to really feel this with me. Because if you can't, then you can't produce this record." I would bring the songs in and he would tell me, "Man, it's almost there but it's not yet." He'd tell me, "I feel that but I don't feel that." What that did to me is just made me open up more. I knew when I was done. I came in there like, "All right mother fucker, this is it. You're going to love this." When I started playing it for him, he'd say, "Dude, it's over. Go ahead." He pushed me a lot so that was cool. I thank him for doing that because nobody's ever done that before. A lot of other producers will just let the band do what they do. They'll say, "Great! Sounds good!" They don't really discipline the vocals or the lyrics because they don't want to get the singer mad. Howard was saying, "Dude, you just told me what you wanted to do with this record. If you actually want to do this then you have to take my advice and you have to listen." His criticism was good.

Shoutweb: I watched the "Stupid Girl" video. You guys look cold!

Scooter: Initially, we wanted to play on a frozen river. They wouldn't let us do it because of the liability of having all the kids on black ice. We had to do it at an elementary school but we still did it where it was freezing. It was cold. We didn't want any Hollywood manufactured cold. If we were going to do it, we wanted to freeze just like everybody else.

Shoutweb: (laughter) But you are Cold so that works on many levels.

Scooter: Right. It seems to follow us. The first six dates of this tour were freezing.

Shoutweb: So, Rivers is guesting on that song?

Scooter: Yeah, I think he's on the pre-chorus. He actually did the first verse initially when he sent it to me. I was on the second verse because "wanna love ya, wanna bug ya"... I don't know but I kind of had a problem with singing that because that's really Rivers. The second verse, I could deal with.

Shoutweb: How did his involvement come about?

Scooter: I had written a Weezer riff in the studio and it sounded like a Weezer song. I couldn't come up with anything for the verses. I had the chorus but every time I played the chorus I heard Rivers voice in there freaking me out. I said, "I am going to send the music to someone who maybe could tell him." So, we went out to dinner a couple of times while we were making the record. He came to our house for parties and stuff. I was like, "Hey, man, you gotta hear this song." Finally, two weeks before the record was done I sent him the track and a week later he sent me back the "Stupid Girl" verses. I was stoked. I was like, "Let's do it." After hearing me sing on the second verse, he wanted me to sing the first verse too. He really likes my vocals a lot and told me that he would feel embarrassed having his own spot. We kind of fought about that for a minute but he won in the end.

Shoutweb: I'd really like to spend some time going through these songs. I don't want a record like this to get shoved in there with all the other records out there.

Scooter: That's cool. That's pretty much impossible for it to get lost.

Shoutweb: It's just a beautiful piece of work.

Scooter: When we play the live shows now, and when people listen to the record. I mean, this is our third record and, even on previous tours where people have heard our record before, there is just no feeling like there is now. When we play live, I have such a different feeling. It feels perfect. This is finally what we wanted to do. It has just that much emotion that we wanted to put out. I think it's undeniable. I really don't think that anybody can say that it's a bad record. If they do, I will be like, "I don't know what you're listening to right now, bro." I don't get it.

Shoutweb: By the time I got to tracks eight and nine, forget about it. I hit "Rain Song" and I just lost it. But let's not jump ahead. "Remedy", to me, has almost a punk rock vibe.

Scooter: With "Remedy" we used the old Cold vibe, like off the first record, the song "Give". We kind of wrote the music around that. One thing with the records we make, we always do it for us but we also do it for our fans. We don't want to feel like we're short-changing them. All of these bands seem to totally change their format like Korn and other bands bringing in crazy beats and rappers and weird stuff. We're going to have songs that are mainstream on this record. Our music has developed and that's just going to happen but at the same time we wanted to incorporate elements of the first two records. We didn't want to get pigeonholed by people saying that we totally changed and sound totally different. Because it's not. It's the same, just better.

Shoutweb: There is this drum/bass thing going on that I love. What are the lyrics about?

Scooter: Lyrically, it's about wanting to be an individual. Throughout my life, I've always had people... I'm not the best person in the world and I have my mistakes just like anyone else. It's just about other people. When you make a mistake or you do something or sometimes you're not sure if it's a mistake or not. You're saying to yourself, "Am I wrong or is this my life?" I've valued people's opinions all my life but I really don't give a fuck. It's about being an individual and about saying, "I'm doing this on my own and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out."

Shoutweb: "Suffocate" has a female vocal on it.

Scooter: That's Sierra Swan. She was on our second record "13 Ways To Bleed On Stage". She was on a song called "Witch" and "No One". She's just a really good friend of mine. She's been a friend of mine for the last seven years. I saw her play a little club in L.A. and she sounded like Susie Sue to me. I just fell in love with her. I was just like, "Dude, you have to sing with me." She is like the sixth member of our band. Actually, she got signed on Atlantic Records and she's working with The Neptunes right now. She's supposed to have a record coming out in the Fall.

Shoutweb: "Suffocate" seems pretty straightforward.

Scooter: That is one of the most straightforward songs. It's about a relationship where you feel smothered and suffocated. Sometimes when you're in a position like I am, you have people who will be your friend or try to be your friend just because of what you're doing. You lie and you fake. I'm just kind of going, "Fuck, I really thought that you were sincere and that you were trying to be cool. In the end, it's to benefit you." I guess I'm going to run across those people my whole life. I write songs about them so I it's all right.

Shoutweb: Good therapy.

Scooter: I always figured that I could read people really well. I did a good job for a while. At a certain point, there are a lot of people and you're judgment gets a little clouded as to who these people are and what they want to be in your life. Your filters aren't out and you let a lot of people in and weed out the bad ones.

Shoutweb: Even good people turn ugly. It's like "The Lord of the Rings" when you get obsessed with the ring "my precious".

Scooter: Exactly.

Shoutweb: "Cure My Tragedy (A Letter to God)" is definitely powerful.

Scooter: When I was going to write this record, my sister was dying of cancer. (pause) It started in her ovaries and then went into her brain. It started taking over her body.

Shoutweb: I'm sorry to hear that.

Scooter: The hardest thing for me was to be away from her. She's my little sister. She's 27 so she's not little but she'll always be my little sister. It was really hard to be away from her because I've been there trying to protect her my whole life. When something like this happens, there is nothing you can do except for hope. I was away doing the record and I really wanted to be there for her and be with her through the chemo and stuff. She would call and be crying and be all upset about it. It was really hard for me to be on the other side of the country. Making a record really meant nothing to me at that point. I was like, "This is crap. I gotta be home with my sister." She was like, "You can't do that. It means a lot to me. Just write a song for me." (long pause) And I did. It's kind of like a letter to God saying, "If you made the world a stage for me then..." (pause) What kind of happened was amazing. Right when the record was done, and I gave her the song, it left her brain and it's clearing up now so it's kind of amazing.

Shoutweb: Oh my goodness. The power of prayer, even in a song.

Scooter: Yeah, it's weird. Now the next time you hear that song, it will have a totally different meaning.

Shoutweb: Thank you for sharing that.

Scooter: I have to do this. I checked with everybody that I was writing these songs about and I was like, "It might be painful for me to bring this stuff up and write songs about it."

Shoutweb: "Stupid Girl" is more of a lighter theme.

Scooter: "Stupid Girl" was a chance for me to breathe kind of. I was like, "Rivers, thank you!" I don't have to fuckin' cry or think about the dark side of everything on this song. When he sent me those lyrics, the second verse still sounds like a Cold verse to me and the chorus definitely does so it's still Cold in a lot of ways. I detach myself from it because he did the verses so it definitely means something to me but not as much as the other ones. I don't know what his version of "Stupid Girl" is but I think I have a version. My version of it and what I see through it is that you could just be a total piece of trash and at the same time, you don't know that you are. You have this person that's going to leave you and you don't have any idea why. A lot of people are blind to the fact that they are idiots.

Shoutweb: (laughter) Funny.

Scooter: (laughter) You know? I don't know. It's going to be funny because I'm sure a lot of people are going to hear the "Stupid Girl" hook and say, "Hey, it's about a stupid girl." But not really. It's about a stupid man, that doesn't know he's stupid.

Shoutweb: "Don't Belong" has that light, squeaky guitar.

Scooter: "Don't Belong" was pretty much about me growing up. I was always a little odd compared to other people and really quiet. I have people come up to me and them saying, "He's such an asshole because he doesn't talk" or "We see him out and he just sits there." Well, I don't know what to say to you. I don't know what to do to you to make you think and make you understand that I'm all right. It's about everybody's pre-conceptions about me or certain things that have happened to us. It's just feeling like we don't belong. I don't even go out to clubs anymore or anything because when I do I feel like an idiot. I have drunk people coming up to me saying crazy shit. I just don't feel like I belong there. It's the same thing when I go to L.A. I just don't feel like I belong with those kinds of people. It's so fake and so untrue. I'm trying to be as true as I can to people. For them to be sitting there with me at the same table and be affiliated with me kind of freaks me out. I usually say, "Well, this is the business part of it. I'm just going to have to deal with these people to do what I want to do with this music in order to put it out." I think it's just about not feeling that I'm a part of what they think I'm a part of.

Shoutweb: "Wasted Years" has a lot layered vocals, which come across very powerful to me.

Scooter: "Wasted Years" is pretty much. I've had a lot of problems with alcohol and drugs at times in my life. I was ashamed of myself at points. I've always been the guy who knows that he has problems. Nobody ever had to tell me, "Man, I think you've got a problem." I would wake up the next morning and say, "Man, I've got a fuckin' problem!" I know that I was fucked up. I always tried to fix myself but I'd always fall back sooner or later and go right back to the same bullshit that I was doing before. I feel like I've wasted so much time in my life by doing that. It's amazing because I'll probably still fall back again. I think that's actually part of who I am so I don't know if I care if I do. Hopefully, one day I'll be better but I don't know. It's really about my personal life and just how I feel about me. "Betraying life was the life I betrayed with the shape that I'm in." It's hard. It's not easy to win. I think that maybe things would have been better if I would have been more focused and sober and blah, blah, blah but... that didn't happen. What's the condition I'm in now because of what I've done?

Shoutweb: Do you have any regrets?

Scooter: The regrets that I have are people that I may have hurt in the period of time that it was happening. That's probably it. The people that I probably have affected throughout that time.

Shoutweb: Tell me about "Whatever You Became".

Scooter: "Whatever You Became" is about whenever we tour on the road. We meet all these people. It's cool and a lot of them are like friends. They're not really like fans. I don't think of them as fans. I think of them as like a family thing.

Shoutweb: A lot of those friends are complaining because they were putting live MP3s on the web site and they got banned from the boards.

Scooter: Really? They were putting live MP3s out?

Shoutweb: Yeah, I was asking people if they had any questions for you and they said, "Ask him what he thinks about them banning us from the boards!" It was the new material.

Scooter: I think that's pretty cool to put those out there as long as they're live versions. That is unless the sound is total shit. They may have heard the sound quality and said fuck that. I didn't know about that. What was I saying?

Shoutweb: You were telling me about "Whatever You Became".

Scooter: Oh, yeah. We meet these friends and we become friends with them over the years and we leave them the next night. It's like seeing your family for a quick visit and then you have to jet. You never know what happens to these people or if you'll ever see them again. I think I take everything too personally. I love everybody too much. And I really care about how they feel and how they're dealing with what they're going through. It's just kind of strange.

Shoutweb: You have a big heart.

Scooter: I know. It's a curse.

Shoutweb: Some people say that artists in general feel more deeply than other people. They have those extra sensors that are out there all the time. They either block everything out and become very introverted or they absorb everybody else's problems and emotions.

Scooter: I almost wanted to do that for a minute. And then I was like, "Why would I do that?" Let's be the first rock band that actually makes everybody feel welcome and everybody feel like they're really a part of something instead of coming to see some guy on stage and wondering. Because when I was a kid, rock stars were unapproachable. They were kind of in mystery land. They appeared, played, and then went back to heaven or something. With this new record and the way we're doing this, I was like, "You know what? Why don't we be the first rock band that can really be there for our fans and really do this?" Because they're the most important thing to us besides the music and I don't want to fuck up either one of those things. I know that might be a lot to have on our plate but I have nothing else to do on my schedule today.

Shoutweb: (laughter) That's funny. "Can You Feel" is that changed?

Scooter: "Can You Feel" is actually called "Sad Happy". I changed the name. It's about this girl that followed around a little bit on the tour. She was by herself and she was really scaring me because she was getting rides from truck drivers and shit. She was offering favors to them and stuff. It was really scary. After a couple of shows I said, "Sweetheart, what are you doing? What's going on?" She said, "Well, I have to follow you." And blah, blah, blah. She started telling me her story and she told me that her father had molested her. (pause) And he had been raping her for her whole life. She was doing anything to follow us around. I told her, "You're 18 years old now and I don't know if that's cool to bring somebody out with us. I wish you could get focused. If you need help, I'll give it to you." I had given her some money to start out and get an apartment and maybe help her land a job. I kind of looked out for her but at the same time it was really emotional for me to deal with that and her going through that. I was feeling that I was the guy that was supposed to make everything better. I tried. I guess I did kind of do that because she's better now and she's away from him. In the song, I had written about her getting revenge on him. She burns him in a fire. (long pause) It's hard to re-hash that kind of shit.

Shoutweb: Those lyrics - wow! They mean a lot already but when you know the story that goes with it. "I will be strong, I will sing." That's about when I lost it.

Scooter: It happens. And then the "Can you feel" part in the bridge. That's probably definitely where it got to you. I was like, "Can she even feel anymore?" Because I would be numb if something happened to me like that. I was screaming, "Can she feel?"

Shoutweb: We got it easy.

Scooter: I had a great family. I really had a great, great family. It really freaks me out when people tell me stories because I know the things that happen. My pain comes from friends on drugs and fuckin' my whole life and just things around me. Definitely my family was always there to support me even though a lot of times I didn't want them to because I was so fucked up. I was the cool kid and I wouldn't take it from them or I always thought they were wrong or talking shit. I was like, "Whatever! You guys don't know what you're talking about. I'll figure this out." But obviously now, you understand that they were right.

Shoutweb: "Rain Song" has a violin sound in there. Is that what that is?

Scooter: Actually, it's keyboards. We just put it in there. Howard helped us find a good sound and we just used that. "Wasted Years" actually has thirteen violinists on it. It's the real deal but on "Rain Song" we just kind of through some keyboards in there. I'm a big Cure fan and I always incorporate that stuff into the music a little bit. I thought it was a little cooler in there.

Shoutweb: What is "Rain Song" about? Scooter: "Rain Song" is about... Actually it's weird because from my condo I can see it. It's about a block away where it happened from my balcony. When I had just gotten out of high school, my friend Jack and Becky had moved in together. They had gotten fucked up one night and when they went to bed an electrical outlet shorted or something and caught their curtains on fire. They had gotten burned alive. (pause) I was at my parents house sleeping and I remember that it was pouring down rain that morning. The phone rang and my Mom was like, "Oh my God." I knew it. I knew something had happened to one of my friends again. She came in and told me that Jack and Becky were in the hospital in the intensive care unit and that their bodies were burned and they don't think they're going to make it. I just remember the rain pouring down that rain and every time it rains, I think about her. (crying... again)

Shoutweb: So, there is no having to dig deep for these lyrics or themes. These are right on the surface for you. Raw.

Scooter: No. And after I tell you the story and you hear the song again, you'll definitely feel it too.

Shoutweb: So, no wonder Hawaii is a good place for you to write. It rains every day there.

Scooter: Actually, it's been raining a lot lately. It rained here this morning. Maybe I'll move somewhere that it doesn't rain.

Shoutweb: Speaking of rain, the next song is "Kurt". I am assuming that is about Kurt Cobain.

Scooter: That song is actually called "The Day Seattle Died". And it really wasn't for just Kurt. It was for Layne Staley actually. We were touring with Jerry Cantrell on the first record and we went to Seattle to play a Halloween show. Sean Kenny was with us and we wanted to meet Layne Staley because he was my idol. He was such a sick man at that point. They were like, "Man, he doesn't come out of his house." They finally got him to come out and get dressed up because it was Halloween. He got in a little costume and snuck in up there and nobody knew who he was. He sat down with me and hung out. It was amazing but at the same time, it was heartbreaking to see my idol looking like an 80-year-old man. It was really weird. It was the same thing with Kurt. I was driving home from work one day in Atlanta and I heard the news and I had to pull off the road. It hurt my heart. I'm just kind of talking about the impact that they had on everybody and the music industry and people's lives. When I sing, "We could all feel the shotgun hit the floor" I mean that because when I heard that I could totally just see it. I was just thinking, "That's not cool. What the hell just happened here?"

Shoutweb: Oh, I thought you were saying, "We could all feel the shock when you hit the floor."

Scooter: No, it's "We could all feel the shotgun hit the floor. Never mind the faith if you can't believe."

Shoutweb: I can hear that Seattle sound in that song.

Scooter: That's a big influence on us so I think that always rings true a little somewhere in our songs.

Shoutweb: So what about "Change The World"? It's not the "End of the World."

Scooter: We're always doing something with the world in a Cold record. "Change The World", okay, it's better now. (takes a deep breath) It's about affecting people's lives and not being able to deliver. Some times people expect so much from you and you're going, "Hold on a second." I never wanted to change the world. Everything's cool and everything's good but what did you expect me to do actually? Some times they expect too much from you and it's a little shocking. I try to be there for them as much as I can but some times I can't.

Shoutweb: Do you feel burdened?

Scooter: I don't feel burdened. When I have a lot of problems going on personally in my life and when I get everything else dumped on me too, it is a little heavy. You're like, "Hold on a second. I can't take much more." At the same time, I'm saying, "Wait a second. This is what you set out to do and this is what you wanted to do. Don't be a chump." I try to be strong for a lot of people but I am very weak inside, you know?

Shoutweb: What is "Black Sunday" about?

Scooter: "Black Sunday" is about my girlfriend, a few years ago. She was in a relationship and got married and had a little baby. Two weeks after the baby was born, it died in the crib.

Shoutweb: My Lord.

Scooter: I am with her through all this pain. I know what she goes through. It's really hard to take sometimes. I don't know what to do when things come up with babies and stuff like that. It's amazing and I just can't understand how a human being can handle it. I have a little girl and if anything ever happened to her, I don't what I would do. So, this is just a song for her. The whole time when people tell me these things, I talk to them about it but I guess I don't let them know that I really understand. I just try to give them positive vibes and solve the problem. I just say, "We can do this or that and hopefully everything will be better." The whole time knowing that it's really not going to be better but I'm trying to make it more positive. This was a song to her to let her know that I really understood what is going on. All those nights that she cried and all those nights that she talked about it, that I really, really understood where she was coming from.

Shoutweb: So, I guess you might call this a personal record!

Scooter: Definitely. There are not a lot of personal albums out there right now. I think it's a lot better than listening to a song about going to high school and getting a girlfriend.

Shoutweb: "Kill The Music Industry" is interesting.

Scooter: "Kill The Music Industry", now that's a good one! (laughter)

Shoutweb: (laughter) The machine gun noises are amusing only because of the title of the song.

Scooter: Actually, when we let the record company hear it, that was really funny because we were in the studio and they listened to it. I just looked at the look on their faces and said, "What do you think about that?" They said, "That is really fuckin' something buddy." I said, "It's not targeting you guys, you people sitting in this room. I'm just trying to target the whole music industry as a whole." The music industry says, "Well, this is what's hot right now. Let's shove it down everybody's throat." What they're shoving down people's throats and for the past year I can't stand. Everything is so monotonous and boring and unfeeling. When we write songs and when I write lyrics, if I don't get that chill down my spine then I don't think to put a song out like that. If it doesn't do anything for you then why would you want to share that with the world? But a lot of bands just fuckin' re-hash bullshit and good for them because some are very successful at it. I just think it's crap. I don't blame the bands because they're just doing it and maybe that's all they know how to write about. I blame the music industry because they force it on me. Some of the lyrics are, "They think they've changed your faith. They've gone too far. They mame the way you see. They think they'll can your life and control your mind but they can't relate to real life."

Shoutweb: And I know exactly what you're talking about.

Scooter: You know. If you know any big wigs in the music industry then you know what I'm talking about.

Shoutweb: Who is that singing in the background on that?

Scooter: We had a party. We had the guys from AM Radio, which is Rivers from Weezer's new band. We had the guys from Adema come out. They were all working in the same studio too so we just had a big party so they were all out there. A new band out of Jacksonville called Burn Season was there. Sierra Swan and her whole crew were there. We just got a bunch of people together and had a good time. We had fun doing that song in the studio. It's actually on the DVD. You can see it when it comes out. It's pretty funny.

Shoutweb: When does that come out?

Scooter: We have a DVD that's coming out with the CD. It's from the beginning of "Year of the Spider" to right now. You get to see the making of the "Stupid Girl" video and all that. The two weeks of shows we did. It's really cool but it's sad too. I didn't want another DVD out there where it's just like bands partying. We really don't party that much. We're more about the emotions and the music so I said, "Why don't we make an emotional DVD to go along with the emotional record?" So, everybody feels this too.

Shoutweb: Wow, that's awesome.

Scooter: Well, we have to do these things now. We have to sell CDs.

Shoutweb: Kids were asking about the artwork and the Chinese symbol. Is that the symbol for spider?

Scooter: No, that's the symbol for Cold. When we started this thing with the spider, it was kind of amazing because we didn't know that two thousand kids were going to go get it tattooed on there bodies. All these people have the Cold tattoo now. So, we said, let's do something new. So now there is a new tattoo out. So we all got the new tattoo for the "Year of the Spider" record. It's a way to be in touch with your fans and have something to share with them.

Shoutweb: You had fans sending in pictures of their tattoos for a possible cover?

Scooter: It never said it was going on the cover. Sometimes thirteen-year-old kids think that they understand what I was writing on there. I never said the cover but I always said it would be on the album. When you open it up, the two sleeves are the tattoo photos.

Shoutweb: I wanted to answer some questions from fans. What is the song "Serial Killer" about?

Scooter: I was trying to put myself in a child's place. I tried to feel what it would be like to be abducted by a serial killer, get away, and then look for him later in life or see him later in life and bring back all that emotion that happened when I was a kid. It was a story something like that.

Shoutweb: Some kids love to hear the old songs.

Scooter: We've played those songs so many times live. You just kind of get bored. With the new record and every time we make a new record, we always love the new stuff and we want to play that more. We'll always throw in songs off the old record but we would throw the singles off more because that's the way the business is. Until we have a big headlining tour, we only have 45 minutes to get it all in. We always want to put out the best songs and most emotional songs that we feel we have right now instead of going back seven years.

Shoutweb: "Year of the Spider" was a title you guys chose a while ago.

Scooter: After we made the record, we were thinking about what to call it. I said, "Dude, we're going to call it the year of the fuckin' spider because all of our friends have surpassed us and done great. I think we've made a record that is just as good if not better than all of theirs. I said, "Let's call is Year of the Spider because this is going to be it."

Shoutweb: What's happening touring wise?

Scooter: We're bringing Finger Eleven out with us because they're good friends of ours. Their music is really emotional too. We do 22 shows with Staind.

Shoutweb: Thank you for spending so much time with me.

Scooter: You're welcome. Thanks and take care.

http://www.geocities.ws/sadhappysite/interview3.html

[xoshepard]

turns out the problem wasn’t that guy, it was my idiot infatuation and my lack of ability to set boundaries bc of it

I been thinkin about this pattern a lot lately, esp re: the other guy. I hate him bc he was a dickhead but had I not been obsessed with this potential relationship nonsense and approached it as a friendship we probably would have gotten along a lot better and might still be friends now. although he WAS playing around with me to some extent. we would have made decent friends w benefits. I think both of us are more cut out for that than most people seem to be, but I guess that wasn’t what I was looking for at the time anyway. I suppose I am never really looking for that with men.

as for the guy that I AM still friends with...

it literally is as simple as “don’t dedicate all of your free time to promoting this  person’s mental health and ignoring your own, and set boundaries that include honesty”

I hang out w him all the time now and I never feel like I’m drowning myself for his sake like I used to, I just feel like “wow this is a fun time” and he even helped calm me down after a terrible and anxiety-inducing social interaction yesterday

he definitely has his flaws, he still has what I would refer to as tantrums, and he can be v self-centered, but unlike before I don’t have the delusion that it’s my job to calm him down and tell him that he’s right about everything. when he starts getting upset over stupid shit I just. let him. then eventually he calms down and comes back and is like “yeah I was being a dick” and we move on. which? is better than I can say? I still have trouble admitting when I’m wrong about stuff.

anyway it’s just been very surprising and also relieving to realize that we had a pretty strong bond and that can just be a normal ass friendship. I was doing all  this emotional labor that nobody fuckin asked me to do and then I got upset w him about it ldskjfdkslfjsdl and that’s proven by the fact that he hasn’t once stepped over that line. I actually told him how I felt about a lot of the issues I had back in 2017 bc I was meaning to just stop talking to him altogether and I was gonna use those grievances as my reasoning, but that conversation ended up being the baseline for our New and Improved (tm) friendship, which is kinda cool. he said that the things I told him (not just about feeling like I was solely responsible for his happiness/mental health, but my concerns re: his statement a while ago that he has no intentions of seeing a therapist) really stuck with him and he’d been researching other mental health improvement options since therapy isn’t like readily accessible to him since he isn’t fluent in japanese and is going to stay in japan for the foreseeable future, and that reaction really made a big impression on me bc tbh I had no idea he cared that much about what I have to say, so I figured I should give it another go without all my issues clouding my judgment. again, like he’s flawed, but my assessment of him was needlessly harsh

then there are weird times when I am just like yeah I can actually see why I liked this guy so much. I obviously do not feel this way now after having framed him as both paragon and pariah, but he has a funny way of saying exactly what I need to hear when I am down, and that’s a v good trait to have in a friend and like... ok no wonder I was always trying so hard to be exactly what he needed all the time.

I will not do that anymore tho. I don’t care HOW good he is at cheering me up, I am gonna maintain my boundaries and keep focusing on doing what’s best for me

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[clementineviolet]

Here is my liveblogging from season 4, episode 3. Notice how it is all capslock at the end

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDERNEATH. MAJOR. SPOILERS. 

Bro Minnie is SO TALL

MINNIE TAPING UP TENNS BOOTS

Minnie is JEALOUS and ANGRY

Minnie is SO TALL

VIOLET IS DEFENDING US AGAINST MINNIE!!!!! TAKE THAT LOUD CLOUIS STANS!!!

Damn Minnie is on the dark side

Sophie is DEAD “a hero” gurl what

Minnie didn’t rat us out thank god

Vi defended Clem so god is real

MINNIE COME BAAACK

Violet we need to talk about that

AJ did the YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO EM POSE

Keep forgetting AJ got SHOT

AWWW TENN IS AJ’S FIRST REAL FRIEND I CRY “YOU DONT COUNT YOURE OLD”

JAMES NO BB WHY YOU HURT

AJ if you tell him that i wanna flip him i’ll kill you

I Love You James and I Trust You

I keep calling James “baby” he’s my platonic babe

James really collects walkers like regulars people collect rocks

James I....girl I’m gonna go along with what you say but this is interesting

I don’t wanna see it that way because I fuckin shot Lee so he wouldn’t turn

Yeah James that shit hurted but it’s ok baby

I don’t wanna say that James fucks walkers but (IM JOKING) (but am i really)

AJ shush we’re going along with him

“I’ll ALWAYS PROTECT YOU” BB AJ PLSSS

I love AJ he’s so cute

This is terrifying

Omfg the mask and the breathing i dislike

I love when they do first person camera it’s so much scarier

This is the creepiest shit i’ve seen on TWDG i don’t even know what to say

The music!! beautiful

What in the hell is going on do they LISTEN TO MUSIC THIS IS THE MOST TERRIFYING THING INDONT

WHAT

UHHHH

What’s funny is that this reminds me of the PAX footage where a zombie shoots Clem the middle finger do y’all remember that

I’m really not sure actually that shit was crazy BUT I KILLED LEE I DONT WANNA BELIEVE THAT

AJ stop hitting him with these personal questions

That was a crazy ass scene

James is Definitely one of the most unique characters in TWD franchise

RUBYYYYYY

HOOTENANNY

YOOOO ITS TIME FOR A PARTYYYYYY BRO CAN I DANCE WITH VIOLET PLs

Oh no we’re placing collectibles already not good

AJ this is the creepiest monologue

AJ baby you’re a good person

HEY AJ NO FORESHADOWING CLEM GETTING BIT SHUSH

TICKLES FOR MY BOY

Nevermind he wanna be serious

“IF I GET BIT YOU’LL...”

I’m torn because now it’s like... do i wanna put AJ through that like I did Clem? what if there is a bit of Clem in there? aughhhhh

NO AJ NO WHAT??? IM NOT BITING YOU NO

Fuck

If there’s an ending where AJ and Clem are walkers together... i’m fucking suing 

I don’t know what to do with AJ

VIOLET!!!!!!

YES LETS TALK

VIOLET IS ALWAYS ON OUR SIDE

We can save her don’t worry bout it

Violet ;____;

“I WONT LET HER TAKE YOU OR AJ OR ANYONE ELSE I CARE ABOUT”

Omg Violet talking about how much she cares for Louis i cry

Oh my god finally confirmation that Vi is like 1 cm taller than Clem if she stands up straight

We’ll GET THOSE BOYS

SHE MADE US A BUTTON IM SCREAMING THE HEADCNAONNFJDJSJDNNSBJDJDJSJJSJSJJDJDHJSHD

A STARS BUTTON OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GAY I SCREAM

VIOLET

WE AFE GONNA

WERE GONNA

WERENFNDNJZHDJD

DANCE!!!!!!!!!!! AHSHJSJZJDJDKDKJDKDKD

OH YM GOD

SO MANT HEADCANONS

COMING TRUE

THIS IS TRUE WLW CULTURE

TAKE HER HAND BITCH

OH MY FOD

OH MY GODJDJJDJSJDKDKDJDJDKJDKSKDKD

THE AMOUNT OF GIFS

I am

paaainf our

this is amazing

i scream

i love

my short girls who dance and exchange gay gifts

THE HUG BRUH I CANT

BRUV

KISS

KISS

KISS

violet doing the gay arm thing

AJ REALLY RUINED THE MOMENT FJDJDKDNDKKD

That scene made 20biteen

When can we tell AJ pls

Y’all know i’m boutta hit AJ with that

This is the cutest shit of all time

HUG HUG HUG BABY

So many hugs I’m dead

Let’s go have this damn hootenanny

VIOLET TEACHING AJ I SCREAM

We doin jazz baby

How has it already been like an hour and a half

Jesus Willg i don’t think we should do that but uhhh just make sure we don’t fuckin die

I swear to God willy if you get us killed

I’m ready for the most turnt party of all

time

ITS OK WILLY YOURE PROBABLY GONNA DIE BUT

YES AJ WITH THEM MOOOVES YES BITCH

ROSIESEEEE

TENN AND WILLY I CRY

Tenn i love you bb

Fuck You Raiders

Yeah we naming it

WILLY JR

That gay smile Clem shared with Vi i can’t

OMG YES LETS LEARN WHY THEHRE IN HERE

The amount of gay smiles

OMG RUBY I LOVE I THOUGHT THAT WAS MARLON

“THAT LITTLE MORHERFUCKER”

Of course that’s why Willy was sent here this little meme boy

I HAVW TO GIF THAT

No AJ no

TENN REALLY TOLD HIM FJDJSKJD

EVERHONES FACES I SCREAM

This turned emo can we go back to having fun and listening to country

34 DEAD KIDS JESUS

Louis i’m so sorry

No we gotta hear Violet

Only if you wanna love

Her dad was a drunk and her mom

worked 3 jobs, grandma shut down after grandpa died, this is emo, oh fuck this is turning dark, oh no violet that sucks so

much

Violet you were TRAUMATIZED

OH FUCK

11 YEARS OLD

I’m so sorry Violet i can’t

Do you wanna hear some of my baggage

That was such an amazing scene jesus, props to Gideon

OMG VIOLET HAS A PRETTY VOICE I SCREAAAAAAM

GAY SMILE

WOW DAMN THAT VOICE VIOLET!!!! GIRL OF MANY TALENTS

minnie and vi singing together that’s it

When. will we tell the group we together

AJ LETS CUDDLE BABY

tenn and willy i cry

thank you so much for that violet i’m

crying so beautiful

jesus we’re so damn emo

DREAM FUCK NOT READY

IM

NOT

EMKTIONALLY

OREPARED

oh my god the graphics look

amazing i’m

shook

she ALWAYS PICKS THE TRAIN

LEE BE MY MUFASA

“YOU KNOW I WAS MAKING IT ALL UP AS I WENT ALONG RIGHT” TRU THATS HOW I PLAYED HIM

Lee can you give me girl advice

YAAAAS LETS SAVE LOUIS

THE RANCH

A GIRL WHO LOVES YOU

GAY!!!! RIGHTS!!!!!

AJ is a small bb boy he loves to shoot ppl

Lee would be so fucking proud

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG

OK YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT CLEM THRNJGINTO HER S4 SELF TO ME BRCH BYE

SHES SO MUCH TALLER NOW JESUS WOW SHE WENT FROM HALFWAY UP HIS CHEST TO HIS SHOULDER

Scissors be hard Lee

Bye Lee immcrying

HEY JAMES!!!!

JAMES IS SO SHY

TENN SHUT UP I CANNOT DO NOT SAY THAT

20!!!GAY!!!TEEN!!!

Oh no Vi is gonna tell Tenn about Minnie and Sophie huh

I’m worried about AJ too fuck

Tenn bb i’m so sorry

Of course I’ll tell her Tenn

Violet don’t save me I’ll be fine probably

hopefully

KISS

GAY LOOK OF LOVE

“GO LOOK IN ANOTHER DIRECTION” KDKDJDJJDKDKD AJ PLEASE IM TRYNA HAVE A MOMENT

This is not gonna go well. This episode has been too good

Oh no Clem has a bow not gonna be good for me later on

This is very creative gameplay

I’m failing so hard

OH GOD LUKE FLASHBACKS

I feel like i’m gonna throw up in so nervous

MINNIES CONCERN FOR TENN I CRY

TENN FORGIVES YOU

ooh girl the emotions

THANK YOU MINNIE

WHERE IS LOUIS

OH NO LOUIS WHAT HAPPENED

I’m sorry Louis GODDAMMIT

MINNIE FOR FUCKS SAKE

Oh for fucks sake

HUG!!!! IM SO SORRY LOUIS

Jesus christ man

THEY FUCKING CUT OUT HIS TONGUE??? WHAT THE FUCK

WHt THE

FUCK

WHY

MO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

this is the worst possible thing we’ll help you louis it’s ok

let the others GO GODSAMMIT YOU EVIL FUCKING BITCH

Larry was an abusive fucking asshole Lilly

Lilly what are you gonna fucking do is she gonna make me choose who to hurt or kill what the fuck what the fuck

Oh god is this about Sophie and Minnie what the fuck

This is amazing acting by Lilly’s VA

Sounds like slavery but ok

Oh my god MINNIE KILLED SOPHIE WHAT THE FUCK

I KNEW IT FUCK FUCK FUCK

WHAT IN THE FUUUUUUCK

VIOLET SHHHHHH

NO NO NO NO NO NO

DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER

OH MY GOD

AJ IM SORRY BUT HOLY SHIT

A WHOLE ASS EAR

YOURE RIGHT AJ!!!! WE’RE GONNA KILL HER

OK AJ WAIT HOLD ON IM ANGRH BUT I REALIZS FHIS IS TOO MUCH ANGER AND HLOODLUST

LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE

NO NO NO NO

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM

AT LEAST VIOLET HAS A HAND

MINNIE YOU FUCKING BITCH

MINNIE PLEASE IM TRYING TO REDEEM YOU SORRY GIRL

TOO CLOSS TO MY THROAT THANK YOU

OH FUCK VIOLET THANKS FOR THE SAVE WE ARE FONNA NEED SO MUCH THERAPY

RIP MINERVA???

VIOLET WHAT NO COME WITH ME

BYE AASIM THANK YOU SIR

If Violet gets caught in the explosion i am ducking suing for emotional and punitive damages

NO NO NO TENN NO

JAMES FUUUUUUCK NO

SAVE JAMES SAVE JAMES

“YOU DONT FUCKINF SCARE ME” YES JAMES

YES JAMES!! HIT HER WITH THAT CARLEY WISDOM

TENN OH FUCK

FUUUUUCK

SHOOT HER TENN

FUUUUCK

YES AJ BITE THAG BITCH

AJ GO FOR THE CHESTTTTTT

OH SHIT AJ

LILLY DONT YOU DARE MANIPULATE MY BOY

ohhhhh fuck this is a DIFFICULT DECISION

THIS IS TOO MUCH

BYE LILLY SHOOT AJ

THE BOMB

[sunshnies]

endgame rants from a lonely girl :

fuck dude …. seriously fuck where do i start . I’ve grown up on these movies man , I was 8 years old when I went to go watch the first iron man and I remember walking out of the movie theatre like … in aw man . I’ve always loved fantasy , superheroes , enhanced people with superpowers .. the whole lot 😂 . my dad grew up reading these comics , he always is the one to go to when you don’t know what’s happening .. like I remember in Avenger1 at the scene where thanos is revealed , I was so confused and my dad was pretty much jumping with excitement because much more to him then me , it was his childhood coming to life infront of him . though I’ve only grown up with the movies , I still feel so emotionally attached to these characters idk it’s just … these movies man , they where what kept me going ! 8 year old - now , everytime me and my dad saw a new trailer and stayed till the end to see the last en credit scene .. they were the most precious times in my short life I’ve lived . not only have I had a closer bond to my dad but the whole mcu just really gave me something man …. it let a lonely girl have something to let mh imagination run wild on , it was the fuel to the fire of many artworks , stories and much more in my life . I’m an overly emotional person in general but I have never before felt such mixed emotions over seeing this whole 10 year journey come to an end … fuck man .. endgame was just wow .. all I can say is that I’m both satisfied with the ending since the heartbreak that was infinity war , but also feel extremely empty and abit lost at wtf I do now if I’m being honest 😂😂😂😂 idk dude , on one hand it’s like fuckin hell marvel my heart is in PIECES . fuck this fuck that imma need u to pay for my therapy pls yada yada yada . but then on the other …. just thank you marvel ❤️ . thank you for all the hard work you’ve done these past years , for all the work you put into everything to get something jus right for the fans and even though I’m as young as I am , I feel like I’ve grown quite a lot with this whole thing .. thank you for giving a lonely teenager something to hang onto when she needed something , for giving her the happiness that was seeing these characters come to life just to change and grow overtime . thank you for giving me a chance to let my overly active imagination run free … and though I’m a bitter bitch at heart I can’t help but accept the fact that , #Partofthejournyistheend💙