#wow that's a bit of a continuity error by the way

[tirorah]

I think it's fair to say that Hina is a quick and easy obstacle to Usagi and Mamoru's Miracle Romance. Her presence delays the eventuel relationship and extends the will-they-won't-they drama. Which is fine and all, but I initially saw it as a bit of a time-waster. Most viewers will already be familiar with the Miracle Romance.

But...on this rewatch, I'm starting to understand a bit better how this fits into the tapestry of PGSM's story.

First of all, it's a believable catalyst for Usagi's character growth. She's been learning and adapting for the entire show, but I feel like the majority of that is related to her Senshi duties or interacting with her friends. Becoming a better fighter, and gaining a better understanding of how her three emotionally scarred friends work, is good stuff.

But so far, nothing has truly challenged her. Because PGSM allows the other Senshi to bond outside of their friendship with Usagi, they've also been capable of working things out between themselves. Usagi might help, but she doesn't always need to improve herself to solve a situation.

The Hina reveal hits her where it hurts. She's truly heartbroken, and now it's up to her to grow and learn from that experience. What will she do? Which path will she choose? This is her test of character to overcome. Her friends might be able to assist, but it's not something they can solve for her.

...No matter how much they try, because that's the second thing I'm seeing here. Now that I fully understand how this situation is affecting Makoto's behaviour, I can see how this is building up to a certain upcoming development. Rei's fight with Minako has pulled her away from the team, and now Hina's presence is doing the same to Makoto. Another link in the chain is becoming loose and it's all because of believable character flaws. Awesome!

And finally, although I was already aware that Hina is a sweetheart, I'd forgotten how...vulnerable she is here. Anxious, too. She's putting her heart on the line here. I really like that. I like that the surprise girlfriend is actually a super nice, just all-around good person who is allowed to feel insecure. She's just a human being, like the rest of the cast.

Of course, as we suspected, her love seems destined to end in tragedy. She's in love with her childhood friend, but people change. Mamoru's changed.

He's not in love with her. He just thinks he has a duty to be with her. A moral obligation. Mamoru isn't exactly averse to conflict or tough situations, but he absolutely sucks at communication. How sad. Not even someone nice and uncomplicated like Hina has it easy in PGSM.

[ruegarding]

Wait what's the tea on Wotg makin' Percabeth even worse? /gen /nf

tldr; rick is continuing his trend of having annabeth imply that she thinks her bf is stupid (u can see what i mean by trend here). this is coupled w a lot of ableism: acting like percy is too stupid to function and removing annabeth's disabilities so she can be a girl boss while refusing to address their mental health. this is supposed to make percabeth look cute, somehow, but instead comes off as mean-spirited at best.

first, to establish context, percy's incredibly overworked,

(he's also on the swim team) and bc of this percy is falling asleep in class and waking up in a panic. this is never addressed seriously despite being a series abt disability. as if that wasn't enough, percy also is never shown to enjoy any of his classes and is frequently written to be stuggling w his grades, just in case u forgot he was stupid (he also is written w the ableist stereotype of being lazy abt school work, too, instead of, you know, disabled). his main motivation is that annabeth will be successful with or without him so he better not be a stupid failure.

completely ignoring percy was the one who wanted to go to nru. also, zero mentions for the accommodation percy is receiving for his disabilities (nor annabeth's, but she's written like they don't exist so).

and then percy says that annabeth's friend, hana, doesn't like him bc she doesn't think he's good enough for annabeth, going on to think yeah that's fair. this is never addressed bc it's supposed to be a cute percabeth and #girl boss annabeth moment. then percy makes a joke (?) that annabeth's friends are gossiping abt how annabeth can stand to date him when he's too stupid to understand architecture when percabeth walks away to talk. this is not a percabeth win and i'm genuinely not sure how anyone on rick's team thought it was.

then there's this:

just in case u forgot, percy is the stupid one and annabeth is the smart one. teehee.

and, in relation to ignoring their mental health, annabeth talks abt putting spider webs all over hecate's mansion (bc she wants to make a haunted house), which rick says is ok bc it's not spiders. except part of annabeth's huge traumatic fight w arachne was being covered in spiderwebs that literally pulled her into tartarus. so. weird plotline. similarly, percy has a bit abt having nightmares abt cereberus, which is equally stupid. i talked abt it here. not necessarily percabeth but worth mentioning for context. oh, and percy also bodily-fluid-bends later in the book w no comment except annabeth's shocked expression. correction: while percy does bodily-fluid-bend w no fanfare, annabeth is not there. percy poison-bends in front of annabeth w no comment.

rick then keeps poking fun at how percy and annabeth would make great parents. which. they're seventeen. btw. but yeah anyway percy would make a great dad bc he's got the funny dad jokes (bc he's stupid. haha get it). annabeth would make a great mom bc she's soooooo nurturing what w taking care of a puppy who decides to call her mom and taking care of her stupid idiot useless boyfriend. i wish this was a joke. more on this later.

the line "[annabeth] looked surprised—me comforting her, kind of switching things up" is self explanatory and written specifically to piss me off.

this passage,

which sucks for many reasons, but especially bc this is rick trying to rewrite book canon w show canon despite very easy ways to include this without acting like percy is an idiot who just didn't notice for the past THREE BOOK SERIES (like a war that took place recently where chiron was injured idk just an idea). instead, percy has to take the fall for rick's error and annabeth has to act like her bf is the stupidest person on earth.

btw, did i mention that annabeth is ahead in her classes and percy sucks at school? teehee.

wow, it's like annabeth's dyslexia isn't even there!

now, it may seem that i'm exaggerating percy's incompetence.

this is a real quote from the book.

so is this!

and this.

and—u get the point. rick is acting like percy hasn't outsmarted his opponents bc his personality is stupid and annabeth's personality is reduced down to having the brain cell.

then, percy has a moment where his empathy shines thru and he's allowed to succeed at something (for the first time in the book), except he has to put himself down to make annabeth feel better. bc we can't have percy feeling good abt himself since it makes annabeth look bad. or something. idk.

again, there is no exploration of percy's self-esteem or their myriad of trauma.

to make up for all the times percy was treated like an idiot, annabeth says percy is "a pretty smart guy,"

which is a surprise to her despite them having known each other for five years.

furthermore, rick is writing percy w a sort of incompetence towards household tasks that is, quite frankly, sexist. here is a good post on how it mirrors weaponized incompetence and here is another one abt the disturbing nature of mom-ifying annabeth. i should make it clear annabeth provides percy food in multiple scenes while percy does adjacent to nothing. she also tucks him into bed like a child in one scene and gets nicknamed "mom" by a dog that pees on her (AND she cleans up the pee while percy does nothing).

so, wottg is essentially 300 pages of mean-spirited bullying from all sides. none of the humor shines through these jokes, none of the facetiousness, like hey isn't it funny that percy is really smart but sometimes completely oblivious, is there. there is no comedic disparity between percy's power and skill and his ability to trip over his feet bc there are no impressive feats of power and skill (anything that would count are immediately brushed off). comments abt percy learning to tie his own shoes w his newfound octopus tentacles don't land in a book where he's acting like he cannot have thoughts without annabeth. and there's no grace to be given bc at no point in any of this handled as a serious exploration of percy's insecurities despite the ample opportunity to do so.

then, when percy isn't being hounded w vitriol, annabeth is being reduced to a sexist caricature of a woman. it does not make percabeth look good in any way.

finally, i need to make it clear that however bad this breakdown makes the books seem, it is worse. i summarized and skipped over a ton of stuff for my own sanity.

[jo-com]

˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙➛ I am right here!

Oscar Piastri x Fem!Reader

Summary: Physically seen but never romantically.

Genre: Highschool!Au, a bit angsty

Note: There are some grammatical errors and this is not proofread.. Finally back to writing!! Hope you guys like and enjoy this. Got Caught up in my work that i forgot to write and was mentally drained to even do so. But now i am back at it again and be sure to read all of the updates I'll be uploading!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

─────── ─ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚─ ───────

It was your free period so you've decided to go to the library and catch up on your other lessons. You were the only person there, so everything was perfect; it was quiet and the atmosphere was just right. The peacefulness surrounded you like a warm embrace─ it was relaxing and comforting.

Suddenly a loud bang from the doors and paddles of feet could be heard from across the room.

Well, so much for peace and quiet.

You didn't even have to check who it was that made the noise. You already knew who it was, correction who he was.

"Guess what y/n/n~" Oscar beamed─ Jumping at the seat next to you.

You flickered your eyes from your book to his. Slowly examining his whole figure.

He had this goofy grin plastered across his face and his smile widens even more as he speaks, you can practically hear the joy radiating from his voice.

God that smile is just so contagious, it matches so well with his angelic tone.

The look that you gave him definitely screams 'uninterested' but of course that's only the expression you show him.

Unbeknownst to Oscar all the deep feelings you want to further express to him.

You softly put down your book to the side and diverted all your attention at the man sitting beside you.

"What? Is there a reason why you look awfully like an idiot right now?" You answered, acting all cold and mundane as possible.

Oscar rolled his eyes and gently nudged your shoulders. "Why do you always frown like that, you know, you're way prettier when you smile."

And why do you always make my heart go crazy with those words??

You shrugged nonchalantly, "it's because you're super annoying and not very smile worthy."

"Ha Ha, real funny y/n, you crack me up" Oscar said sarcastically making you giggle softly. "Anyways, i have good news."

You stopped and raised your brows─ signaling for him to continue.

He took the hint and continued what he was going to say, "You know how I've been courting lily for the past few months now?"

Your smile soon fades and your demeanor quickly shifts as you try your best not to falter.

The reality was quick to weigh down on you. Crushing and crumbling your heart with each truthfulness.

From out of sight, you were gripping your thighs to stop the tears from going down, so much that it will probably bruise later.

You rolled your eyes jokingly, "I remember, only because you wouldn't stop talking about her, you lover boy" you spoke weakly─ punching his shoulders playfully to make it seem that it hadn't affected you.

"what about it?" You asked, even though you know where this conversation was heading.

Oscar couldn't contain his excitement and happily blurted out his words, "SHE FINALLY SAID YES."

Your lips subtly quiver and your eyes start to gloss. You knew where this was going so why does it hurt so bad?

"Wow uhm..i am so happy for you osc" you croaked, feeling your voice crack a little.

"I just feel so lucky to have her" Oscar sighed─ the smile on his face says it all.

He then went on and on about how she said yes and what he felt at the time. He was so busy talking about his feelings that he couldn't see yours.

You were smiling, yet your eyes tells another story.

He kept on talking, saying just how happy he was. "And then when she said yes, my heart just stopped beating and everything was in slow motion"

That's what i feel everyday with you.

His voice seemed to blend in the background and all you could hear was the ringing silence of loneliness.

You nod your head every now and then to what he was saying, despite not listening to what he was actually rambling on about.

You then abruptly cut him off and stood up, "uh i am sorry Osc but, i forgot that me and alex have this thing."

"What is it? Maybe i can help?" He offered, his eyes softening at your sudden reaction.

God, don't look at me with those eyes.

You shook your head and averted your eyes, ignoring his looks of concern. You didn't want him to see you like that. Not like this.

Don't fall for it y/n, he's just concerned as a Friend.

Without saying a word you quickly grabbed your things and scurried away from him. Leaving Oscar confused and dumbfounded.

...

You hurriedly ran to the nearest rest room─avoiding all the people that were in the way. Not wanting them to take a glance at your now tear eyed face.

As soon as you close the cubicle door, your whole body just went limp. Not having any energy anymore.

And you were now balling your eyes out on the ground─ bitting your lips, to stifle the cries that were escaping from your trembling mouth.

You were stupid enough to think that there was something going to happen between you and Oscar. It's your fault, for falling at his rosy sweet words, even though you knew deep down inside that he only meant that as a friend.

...

Short cause it got deleted ON MY FIRST DRAFT. Hope u enjoyed tho

[pauline-sunshine]

Wanna smoke?

Jungkook x reader

Warnings: characters are smoking

Word count: 1360

A/N: I apologize for any errors! English is not my first language. Enjoy! Also those edits with this mf smoking live rent-free in my mind. Help.

First time in South Korea! Exciting, right? It was your dream for quite some time and finally you decided to come here to experience rich asian culture and see everything yourself. It was especially pleasant because you ended up to having your personal guide through Korea in a face of Jungkook. You still didn’t believe it, though.

Due to your profession you visited a lot of music events and awards. As trivial as it is that’s exactly how you two met. There was something special about your relationship yet intangible. You could be miles away from each other, you could not talk for weeks, but every time any of you replied to the other’s story it always grew into the most heartwarming and deep conversations. The connection between you two was on another level. It was as if time didn't exist when you were engaged in these exchanges, transcending distance and circumstance. There was no place for awkwardness instead it was a pure hart-to-heart or soul-to-soul interactions. You knew him from another life, at least you liked to think so.

Obviously he was the first one to find out you were going to Seoul. It all stated as your usual conversation but it led to something different this time.

“Guess what, Jungkook,” you teased him with a sly smile.

‘’Oh, i don’t know what’s going on in that pretty mind of yours,” he answered in a raspy voice.

“Well, you’d better be prepared because I’m coming,” you raised your eyebrows in a quick movement and glanced at your FaceTime partner.

“Is that a threat? Am I supposed to be scared?” He tried to joke it off.

“You didn’t get it, did you? I said I’m coming to Korea,” you made sure to emphasize the last word.

“Are you serious? When? I’ll make sure to meet you at the airport,” all of a sudden his joking side transformed into impatience.

“Hey, hey, come down, cowboy. I’m coming in a week. Still have to make a hotel reservation and…” you couldn’t continue because of his interruption.

“What are you talking about? You thought you would come to Seoul and stay in a hotel. Please, make me a favor and don’t say stupid things like that ever again. You’re staying in my apartment.” He wasn’t even asking or inviting you to stay, it sounded more like a demand.

“Well, I guess I can’t refuse then,” you bit your lower lip to stop yourself from smiling.

You arrived quite late at night but he kept the promise and picked you up from the airport. You noticed him in a waiting area and ran to him dropping all your baggage.

“I never thought I missed you so much,” you smiled dissolving in his warm embrace.

“I never thought you would finally become bigger than my phone screen,” he admitted hugging you stronger.

“Told you I was coming,” you teased him and loosened the embrace keeping your hands around his neck.

“Told you I was scared,” he talked back smiling and resting his hands on your waist slightly moving them up and down.

“Now, c’mon, let’s drive home. It’s late,” he suggested while looking into your eyes.

He picked up your things and led the way to the car. On the way to his apartment you were talking about your ‘tourist schedule’: things you had to do and places worth visiting. You didn’t notice how the time flew by but here you were entering his apartment.

“Wow” you sighted.

“Wanna look around?”

The apartment’s interior design reflected a blend of modern aesthetics and personal touches that were creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. The living area featured a minimalist design with sleek furniture. The kitchen had dark cabinetry that contrasted beautifully with light countertops. In the bedroom, a calming color palette of soft grays and whites promoted relaxation. The bed was dressed in plush linens, surrounded by tasteful decor that reflects Jungkook's personality. There was also a nice balcony with a breathtaking view of the city. Overall, Jungkook's apartment was a harmonious blend of style and comfort, making it a perfect sanctuary for the talented artist.

He showed you your room and gave you some personal time because he knew how tiring flights can be.

“Make yourself at home, Y/N. Take your time, meanwhile I’ll get us some food,” he said leaning on a doorway.

You quickly freshened up, unpacked some of your things and headed back to the living room. You found him laying the table.

“Hey,” you said quietly letting him know you were there.

“Well, I thought, as it’s your first time in Korea, I decided to order some kimbap, hope you will like it.” He made a gesture inviting you to sit.

“Never tried that but it looks absolutely delicious,” only now from seeing the food you actually realized how hungry you were.

“And for the drinks…” he was going through his liquor cabinet, “wanna try a Korean soju?” He turned to you.

“Bring it here,” you replied with a big smile.

You had the time of your life having dinner with him and laughing at the way he was trying to teach you how to eat with chopsticks. Once the food was finished, the two of you moved to the living room opening another bootle of soju. Maybe it was the tipsy state you two had but every time there were just a little more innocent touches and the need of him inside you was growing stronger. Laughter became quieter, and pauses between sentences grew longer and were filled with meaningful glances.

“Wanna smoke?” You suggested.

“Hell yeah, let’s go,” he stood up and gave you his hand lifting you up.

He didn’t let go of your hand instead he intertwined your fingers and led you to the balcony. As you entered you noticed a little couch with a coffee table on a side with cigs, lighter and an ashtray. He plopped down on the couch while you came closer to the panoramic glass windows just admiring the beauty of Seoul.

“You know, the view is to die for,” you murmured completely mesmerized by what you were seeing.

“Yeah, I know” he agreed. You’ll never know that at this moment the only thing he was looking at was you.

“Do you want to hear my smoking playlist?” You asked while sitting next to him on the couch.

“Sure, I want to hear everything If that’s connected to you” he lighted up his cigarette. You held your one between your lips while finding the song. “Here, let me help you.” He took your chin with his hand turning your face to him. Neither of you broke the eye contact as he lit your cigarette.

“Tanks,” you replied. “Here, found it, listen,” you pressed play. Boy, the last thing he expected to hear was this.

“But that’s…” he bursted into laughter.

“Yes, that’s Black Swan…Hey, you! Stop laughing!” You hit him slightly while making a drag.

“Sorry, sorry, I just didn’t expect that,” he said after letting the smoke out.

“I don’t know…It just makes me feel thing okay?!” You started singing along to the song while reaching the ashtray and stubbing your cigarette.

Jungkook made the same thing and there you were in bare millimeters away from his face. The next thing you knew was your lips meeting his. A shy at first snd soft kiss builds into a passionate one. You move and sit down on his laps whining upon him. “Wow, you’re impatient,” Jungkook chuckled softly against your lips. You rushed your fingers through his hair and his toned torso while he shamelessly explored your body with his arms. His hands roam your back, pulling you in closer. The tension builds, electricity crackling between you as the music continues in the background. Jungkook pulled back slightly, glancing into your eyes, his breath mingling with yours.

“It’s about time, don’t you think so?” He said with a seductive smile. You gleamed and led him into another kiss.

[lovetei]

Putting myself on anonymous cause I’m a coward… but here were my ideas for Mephisto(keeping it simple lol). They’re relatively calm.

- Mephistopheles with a praise kink. He enjoys when his partner tells his how good he is during sex and that he’s a good boy

- MC helping him with his morning wood

- Mephisto & MC sneaking off during a big formal event for a bit of fun

- Mephi whimpers and begs and I will die on this hill

- Mephisto or MC dressing up for each other in revealing clothing

- Sugar. Daddy. Mephisto.

- aaaand finally, fucking in the newspaper club room during classes.

I'm so sorry for not following the poll! It's just that I love my Mephi baby too much and yes I have a vivid memory on who this anon is ^^

Anon may be calm but I'm not so watch me turn vanilla into something monstrous

This ain't done by the way :b

--------------------------------------------------

Mephistopheles as your everything because he's my everything

Warnings: Overstimulation, Smut, Mentions of Shibari, nicknames, no proofreading, grammar mistakes, spelling errors

Links: Masterlist

--------------------------------------------------

GOOD LITTLE BOY!

His knees shake constantly as the pain and pleasure became harder to bear "M-More..!" His mind is a mush and drool flow from his mouth to his chin as his hand is binded above his head and his legs are too, getting forced by the rope to stay open.

His cock is still achingly hard even after cumming for three times "Are you sure you can handle more? You know I'm just joking around when I said you have to cum dry for me to praise you." Chuckles escaped your lips.

"No... Not... About you!" He protested as he suddenly came untouched "AH! No no no! It hurts!" He thrashed around the ropes as cum leaked continuously.

Sobs escaped his lips as his high started to go down but before he can even calm down he felt your hard grip on his cum stained cock "U-Uh! No, wait!" Your pace is brutal, merciless.

His cries for break fell to deaf ears as you continued to stroke his cock "Wow, honey... What a good boy you are!~" You praised, amazed by the fact he managed to stay this long but his reaction is unexpected.

His hips thrusted upwards as his cock spurt out nothing making you grin at his pathetic cries "I- Hurts! AH! No!"

YOU'LL HELP ME RIGHT?

The sounds of wet kisses echoed inside the room as your naked bodies rubbed against each other "Mhm!" You groaned after you felt Mephisto bite your lower lip "Good morning..." His voice is deep and husky, his eyes dark and filled with lust as he greet you.

"I love you." He moaned between kisses as he grope every part of your body, his broad shoulders almost covering your whole body "I love my baby..." His large hands picked your drowsy body up and sat you on his lap.

"I love my sweet heart." His voice is sweet and passionate as he continued to kiss your body over and over again "Why are you so hard..?" You mumbled between kisses as his clothed cock rubbed on your naked ass.

[atinyniki]

only mine.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!kim seungmin x f!reader

genre: fluff, a little angst

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, crying, lots of fighting, possessiveness (seungmin), lots of jealousy (also seungmin), accusations/slut-shaming, seungmin is referred to as min, minnie, and seungie, unprofessional work ethics, seungmin is a real jerk, nonconsensual kissing, drinking, forced proximity (shared bed), drunk confessions, seungmin is TOXICCCC!

authors note: one of my least fav fics ngl, didnt have very great ideas for this one but i tried my best ! this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 4482

(pt. 2)

“i’m sorry y/n…”

you’re sitting on the couch, hands awkwardly placed in your lap. “it’s okay, i wasn’t expecting anything it’s just… i needed to get it off my chest.”

your relationship with jeongin is basically ruined at this point. things are going to be terribly awkward now, especially since you’re one of the makeup artists for stray kids. 

the boys are all great friends with you too, so there’s not really a high chance of you getting put with another group. 

jeongin stays silent, and you take it as a sign to leave. you quickly make your way out of the room to see seungmin on the couch, smirking at you. your eyes were already welling up with tears, you just wanted jeongin to say something. 

instead, you’re met with seungmin, tears threatening to leave your eyes. “did you really think someone like jeongin would like you back?”

your heart plummets, you feel sick to your stomach. you don’t answer, walking toward the front door. “awhh, someone’s upset”

“not right now seungmin, i’m not in the mood.”

“you’re never in the mood. now get the fuck out.”

you quickly shut the door behind you, taking a deep breath and making your way home. it’s just a simple rejection, you know, but seungmins words still linger in your mind. 

what were you thinking? jeongin would never like someone like you.

it was time to shoot their new music video, the whole atmosphere feeling incredibly awkward. jeongin did his best to avoid you, tending to another stylist instead. 

you quickly finish up chans makeup, showing him what it looks like in the mirror. he practically beams at you, you know you’ve done well. “why aren’t you talking y/n?”

you swallow down the lump in your throat, you know you can trust chan. “oh nothing, just a little awkward now”

“why so?”

“jeongin didn’t tell you?”

chan looks incredibly confused, shaking his head with an eyebrow slightly raised. you give in, explaining the story vaguely to chan, making sure to leave out the interaction with seungmin.

“oh wow… and he said… nothing?”

you slowly nod, head hung low. chan can see the hurt swirling in your eyes, “it’s okay, at least that means he didn’t say anything bad”

you laugh a little at chans logic, thinking about what seungmin said. jeongin is too good for you. you know it. why did you even try?

you continue your conversation with chan, when all of a sudden, seungmin pops up behind you. “wow… first jeongin and now chan? jeez, talk about desperate…”

you try to contain yourself in front of the boys, swallowing down the harsh words that are so incredibly close to leaving your mouth. 

you couldn’t get anything out, just simply mumbling a quick apology and darting out the door before the tears spilled. you don’t know why seungmin hates you so much.

as soon as the door shuts, you can hear chan yelling at seungmin. you don’t want to ruin their friendship, and you’re truly considering leaving for a bit. 

you arrive home, quickly changing and flopping onto the bed. the heavy feeling in your heart doesn’t go away. 

suddenly, you get a text. you check your phone, wondering who could be texting you. 

minmin 🐶 : stay away from them, seriously. you’re making jeongin uncomfortable.

you don’t really know how to answer, so you just lay there with your phone in your hand. you don’t know how to gather your feelings about anything right now.

minmin 🐶: you can’t just go around fucking with every guy you find hot

another text breaks you out of your thoughts. 

minmin 🐶: are you not even going to answer?

y/n: i’m not fucking around with anyone, seungmin.

minmin 🐶: then what is it for?

minmin 🐶: money? 

minmin 🐶: attention?

y/n: no seungmin, it’s because i actually have feelings. 

y/n: just leave me alone, please?

minmin 🐶: oh so now all of a sudden it’s a sensitive subject for you?

y/n: why do you keep bugging me about this seungmin? i’m trying to get over it

y/n: i’ll stay away from jeongin, just leave me alone.

you could see seungmin typing, and then it suddenly stops. you don’t get a message after that, and decide to just go to sleep.

you’re preparing for another filming session, touching up jeongin’s makeup. you make sure not to get too close, remembering what seungmin had said to you not too long ago.

seungmin seems to be giving you weird looks from across the room. you don’t think anything of it, and continue fixing up jeongin’s makeup. before you turn around to help changbin, you give jeongin a smile.

jeongin doesn’t return the smile however, instead walking over to seungmin to talk about the choreography. you don’t think anything of it, and just do your job. you’re not overstepping your boundaries, especially after jeongin established them.

or after… seungmin established them.

the room is dead silent aside from changbins vocal warmups. you quickly complete seungmins makeup, making sure not to say a word that could set his mood off. 

you bring out the hair curler, slowly framing seungmins bangs around his face. you see seungmins eyes darting around, but you decide to focus on the task at hand.

once seungmin makes sure his arms are hidden from the camera, he tugs you by the shirt, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss. 

before you can even manage to escape, he pushes you off of him. the curler falls onto you, burning a thick line onto your forearm. “what the fuck y/n?! why would you do that?!”, he exclaimed.

all heads are turned towards you now, “what do you mean?! you kissed me?!”, you replied incredulously. 

the staff manages to get you as far away from him as possible. along with losing most of your friends, you also lose your reputation, as well as your job. it feels as if everything has suddenly shattered because of one stupid crush.

you knew that seungmin had hated you for a while, maybe you shouldn’t have pissed him off with jeongin. 

the security camera footage didn’t show any signs of seungmin kissing you, so they took his word for it. you were no longer a part of stray kids’ team.

weeks passed. you didn’t want to bring up seungmin to the managers, it was pointless to ruin his career. it would be easier for you to find a new job, but for seungmin, the backlash would be incredibly overwhelming. you couldn’t do that to him.

you weren’t completely let go of though, only moved to work with itzy instead. if you’ll be honest, it’s a lot easier to work without having seungmin around. you’re more focused on your job now.

“is it really true that seungmin framed you?”, yuna asks abruptly.

you were taken aback by the sudden question, not knowing if you should answer or not. “umm…”

ryujin walks over to you, resting a hand on your shoulder. she leans over to whisper something into your ear. “we heard the boys arguing about it… i know you didn’t do it, y/n”

shit. your eyes stay on the floor, afraid to look up. “talk to him, please y/n”, yuna begs.

you jerk your head up towards her, “seungmin?”

“yeah? who else? dummy”

you consider it for a moment, maybe this was your chance to clear out the tension between you two. “i’ll think about it”

you weren’t lying. you thought about it all night. you know he wouldn’t want to, but maybe, just maybe, he’d give you one more chance. 

you finish styling your hair and doing your makeup, flattening down the sides of your hot pink dress. you thought it’d fit the theme for the party tonight because of the comeback. 

you’re not quite sure why you’re even invited, but a party is a party right? you quickly drive there, making a mental note not to drink at all. you need to be in proper condition to get home.

you finally walk into the room, all the girls rushing to you instantly. lily is squealing because of your outfit, while yeji is fixing the jewelry adorning your neck. you all have a blast. that is, until the boys noticed you.

you’re suddenly reminded of how you left the boys in the first place, a little discomfort visible on your face. suddenly, you’re dragged away from the girls by seungmin, unable to free yourself from his hold.

“ooa- y/nnie! you’re here?”, he slurs.

yeah. he was definitely drunk. since when did he start calling you y/nnie anyways? “you’re drunk, dumbass”

“well duh- you look prettyyy”

his words get more confusing by the second. why is he acting like this towards you? “thanks min”

he giggles at the nickname, a sound you don’t hear very often, until an arm grabs him behind. “oh gosh y/n, i’m so sorry, he’s been looking for you all night”, jeongin says with a nervous chuckle.

“all night…?”

“shhh don’t tell her”, seungmin pleaded with puppy eyes. 

“tell me what?”, he’s piqued your interest now. 

jeongin begins to speak, “noth-“

“that i’m in love with youuu”

your jaw drops, jeongin’s does too. you both share a look, then turning to look at seungmin, who’s already lunging towards you. he clings onto your arm, smiling and nuzzling into your shoulder.

“jeongin. how long did you know about this?!”

he looks at you, the expression on his face is one of guilt. “almost a year now…”

your eyes widen, and you stare at seungmin. his face is bright red, too wasted to comprehend what is happening right now. jeongin says a quick goodbye, leaving you to deal with seungmin.

“y/nnieeee can we go to your house? it’s too loud here”, he pouts. you consider it for a moment, but then you remember how he might react when he wakes up in the morning. 

he grabs your arm, kissing over the burn that he gave you. you didn’t push him away though, but not because it felt good. of course it didn’t feel good. okay… maybe it felt good.

maybe seungmin would appreciate you taking him home rather than being stuck with seven drunk guys. you look down at him again, who’s hopelessly clinging onto your arm. “pleaseeee?”, he asks with puppy eyes.

how can someone look so cute doing that?

wait. what? what are you thinking? kim seungmin is far from cute. of course, you still gave in and agreed though. “fine, but you can’t trash my house okay?”

“mmph okay”, he slurs. you quickly drag him out of the place, saying your goodbyes and rushing him to your car before people can ask questions. he sits comfortably in your car, hands placed in his lap and soft hums leaving his lips. 

his voice is laced with exhaustion, and even then it sounds so beautiful. you stay silent on the way home, not wanting to interrupt his singing.

“we’re here”, you say quietly.

seungmin quickly exits the car before you can even put your hand on the handle and opens the door for you. 

what a gentleman.

you laugh at his silly antics, and a frown makes its way onto his face. “i’m sorry, i wanted to help you a little too.”, he spoke softly.

you look up at him while you exit the car, his lower lip quivering slightly. you don’t say anything, but you grab his hand and lead him inside to your room. 

you grab a change of clothes for him and rush to the bathroom to get dressed for bed. when you’re finished, you walk out again to see seungmin sitting on the bed, crying.

“what’s wrong min?”

“w-who’s clothes are these? do you have a boyfriend? why do you have guys’ clothes?”

you couldn’t help but giggle at his jealousy, walking towards him to wipe away his tears. “they’re my ex’s, he left them behind.”

he looks at you, eyes still a deep red from crying. “n-no! i don’t want to wear these! i don’t want to remind you of your ex…”

the frown is back on your face, and you’re quick to comfort him. “they’re the only clothes i have, i don’t want you to be uncomfortable at night. please?”

he smiles at you again, “okay!”

he rushes to the bathroom to go change, you’re a little surprised at the lack of convincing it took for him to change as well. he comes out of the bathroom, a wide smile plastered on his freshly washed face after seeing you.

you grab an extra blanket from the room, “you can sleep in the bed”

the frown reappears once again, “what? where are you going? stay with me, please?”, he pouts.

you smiled at him again, setting the blanket down and laying in your bed. surely there was enough space for the both of you, right?

he lays down next to you, instantly spooning you. you knew there was no fighting it, and instead thought about how you’d explain all this to seungmin in the morning.

“don’t tell anyone about my secret please”

“i won’t, don’t worry seungmin.”

you wake up to warm breath fanning over your lips, seungmins soft hands holding yours. it takes a moment in your sleep ridden mind to process your proximity with seungmin, only a mere centimeter away from kissing him.

it takes everything in you to pull away as far as you can, but that doesn’t stop you from admiring him. there is no scowl evident on his face, nor is there a judgemental look. he looks like he’s at peace, you think he looks much better like this.

you quickly go back to sleep, wanting to avoid the awkward moment where seungmin realizes that he’s in your bed alone. you’d like to keep him some company.

only an hour later, seungmin wakes up, slowly taking in his surroundings. you’re still asleep, cheek squished into the pillow and lips puckered right in front of him.

he sits up abruptly, a blush covering his face and ears. what happened last night? “mmm seungmin?”

his head jerks towards your figure again. so, he’s not hallucinating. you’re actually there. “what am i doing here?”

“we were at the party last night and you got super drunk. you refused to leave me alone and insisted we go home because it was too loud in there.”

he thinks for a moment, before you cut off his thoughts again. “we didn’t do anything, don’t worry.”

a sigh of relief leaves his lips, “thank you for… uh- bringing me here.”, he says sheepishly. “mhm”, you mumble. you get out of bed, getting ready for the day and unboxing the spare toothbrush you have.

you finish freshening up, “the green toothbrush is yours, its new”

a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips, you don’t think you’ve ever seen sober seungmin smile at you. “thanks”.

he meets you in the kitchen not long after, and you drive him back to the dorms, meeting with jeongin before you leave. 

“listen, i know that the whole thing yesterday happened but please don’t tell seungmin i know.”

“what? why not?”

“if anything, i want him to tell me… on his own terms”, you reply.

jeongin understands where you’re coming from, so he nods and decides to drop it. “thanks for bringing seungmin home”, he says with a smile.

“it’s no problem”, you smile back.

you quickly make your way down the hall and get in your car to leave. the past couple hours have finally began to process in your brain.

kim seungmin, the bane of your existence, has a cute little crush on you. how sweet.

“did you guys do anything?!”, lia asked excitedly.

“no, nothing happened. i just brought him home because he was upset about the noise”, you chuckle nervously.

“awh”, she pouts, “i was hoping for something when i saw you both leave together”

you shake your head, and continue doing her makeup. 

all of a sudden, you get a call from

stray kids’ manager. “hello?”

“hey, is this y/n? we’re not quite sure why but the boys really need your help. we heard crashing but they wouldn’t let us in after the stylist rushed out. could you come over real quick?”

“i’ll be there in five”

you quickly finish up lia’s makeup and rush out the room, afraid that something bad has happened.

you knock on the door, careful not to startle any of the boys. “hello? it’s y/n”

before you can take a breath, the door swings open and you’re met with a disheveled minho. you peer behind him, locking eyes with seungmin. his hair was a mess, as well as the eyeshadow smeared across his face.

minho lets you in, locking the door behind you. you walk over to seungmin, who’s sitting in a chair in front of the mirror. the boys tend to themselves again, getting their own makeup done before leaving the room completely.

“kiss another one of your stylists?”, you joke.

you notice the upset look on his face and figure you should just shut up for now, quickly removing his eye makeup.

his eyes open again, watching as you open another pallette and grab a brush. his eyes immediately dart to the dark purple burn mark on your skin, guilt eating him away more and more.

why do you still care about him? why do you keep doing things for him when he ruined so much for you? seungmin never cries, he couldn’t let himself. not in front of you. 

but the tears were inevitable, small droplets trickling down his face. you turn around, heart immediately plummeting to your stomach. “what’s wrong min?”

he quickly grabs a tissue, dabbing away the tears. “i’m sorry for um… the burn”.

you look down at your arm, the dark purple seared into your skin. “oh this? this is nothing, dont worry about it”

you approach him with the brush again, swiping away a stray tear before you dry his eyes and get back to work. you think about the time he kissed over the scar. even though he was drunk, you knew he felt guilty about it.

“im sorry i made you lose your job.”

wow. kim seungmin… apologizing? twice?

“oh it’s no big deal, i’m just with itzy now”

“no, it is a big deal. the boys all miss you now, they’re still angry with me. no stylist puts up with me anymore, you were the only one. i didn’t mean to make you lose your job, i just… didn’t want you crushing on my friends anymore”

you smile a little at him, his motive suddenly becoming clear. he kissed you because he was jealous. he didn’t want you crushing on his friends, he wanted you crushing on him.

“well, i can’t come back, that’s the managers decision, but if they let me… i will. i promise. it was a silly crush that wore off in a couple days anyways.”

you could see the faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but he hid it as well as he possibly could. you spoke a little more about upcoming plans, wanting to avoid the subject because it was clearly making seungmin feel guilty.

after finishing his hair and makeup, you admire the work youve done on him in only ten minutes. what you didn’t account for though, was the proximity between you two. 

you’re only inches away from his face, eyes tracing every feature and outline. seungmins face flushed red, as does yours, but neither of you pull away. your faces inch closer to eachother, a nervous look on his.

“seungmin! are you two done yet?”, you hear chan yell from outside.

you quickly scramble to distance yourself, helping seungmin up from the chair, your faces still bright red. maybe you were too blinded by his attitude to admit your feelings.

you open the door to see chan, a smile on his face when he notices the blush on your cheeks. “what, did you two kiss or something?”, he teased.

“kiss her?!”, seungmin asked incredulously.

you just laughed. you didn’t need to be upset anymore. you knew it was all just an act.

“there’s really no need to punish seungmin. it happened a long time ago, and he’s already apologized to me personally.”

you’re discussing getting your job back with the managers of stray kids, finally joining back as stray kids’ stylist.

you go through the many formalities, a little upset that you have to leave itzy, but you’re glad you’re back. the girls understand of course, which you are incredibly grateful for.

“you’re back? like really?!”, jisung asks excitedly. 

you nod your head, giving him a sweet smile. the boys begin to cheer, but your eyes are fixed on seungmin. his wide smile drops as soon as you look at him, and you pout.

he quickly turns towards the mirror, not wanting you to know what your pout does to him. 

“whos… that”

“i’m not sure, but they seem to be very touchy”, yuna observes.

why is a random girl being so touchy with seungmin? and… why does it bother you?

the more you really comprehend your thoughts, the more you truly process to what extent you like seungmin. it’s difficult for you not to confess, to keep your feelings a secret.

you continue to stare at the girl, when ryujin finally snapped you out of it. “why do you keep staring hm? are you perhaps… jealous?”, she teased.

you look at her dead in the eye, unsure about how to respond. that’s when she realizes you’re serious. “wait… really?”

you nod lightly, finally coming to terms with your feelings now. your eyes avert their gazes, suddenly embarrassed. “well now we have to set you up!”

you jerk your head up to look at her again. “are you crazy? what if that girl is his girlfriend?”

“baby, i think you’re too focused on the girl to see the clear disgust on seungmins face right now.”, jisung chimes in.

you jump, a little startled, “jeez ji, how long have you been there?” 

“long enough to hear that you have a little liking for my friend”

the girls sense the atmosphere of the conversation, quickly leaving you with jisung to talk. “sorry ji, i don’t mean to… intrude or anything.”

“oh not at all! i’m just curious about how you’re planning to confess.”

“i’m… not quite sure yet either”

jisung giggles at your nervousness, “word of advice, he likes his confessions straightforward”

you nod, smiling a little. “thanks ji”, you laugh awkwardly.

“no problem”, he replies with a smile. 

you split off to find the girls again, only to be dragged away by jeongin not too long after. “when are you confessing?”, he asks abruptly.

you stare at him, shocked at how direct the question is. “soon… within this week most likely. why?”

“y/n, i shit you not, the boy is going absolutely mad in the dorms. his little crush on you has gotten like a thousand times worse since you brought him to your house that one night”

“oh jeez… okay i’ll- i’ll tell him soon, i promise”, you say with a smile.

“i’m not pressuring you of course, but god i don’t know how much longer i can stand hearing him yap about that shit” 

you nod, laughing a little, “understandable”. you turn your head, almost immediately locking eyes with seungmin. it looks could kill, you’re almost certain you’d be dead right now.

your heart sinks to your stomach at the sight on him, and you quickly say goodbye to jeongin and walk off. maybe jeongin isn’t the best person to talk to about these things…

did they have to leave you with seungmin every time you’re styling them? 

he averts your gaze, an angrier look on his face than usual. “seungie, what’s wrong?”

his heart flutters at the nickname, almost making him smile, but he focuses. “what’s wrong is that you keep flirting around with my friends.”

“who, jeongin?”

he nods, a little embarrassed after confronting you. “are you jealous i’m stealing your best friend from you?”

“no, i’m jealous because my best friend is stealing you from me”

seungmin quickly clamps a hand over his mouth, processing what he’s just said. “i- i didn’t-“

you stare into his eyes, urging him to go on. “fuck it”, he mutters under his breath. “y/n, i am fucking infatuated with you, you know? i…”

you grab his hand and smile at him, stroking over his knuckles gently. “i’m sorry ive been such a bitch to you recently, but you never seemed to really notice me before this. i thought that maybe if i was mean to you, it could help me hide my own feelings…”

he opens his eyes again to see you again, only centimeters away from his face this time. you inch closer towards his face, stopping right before your lips touched. “don’t push me away this time min… please.”

he closed the gap between you two in a soft kiss, smiling against him as he chased you even more. you pull away, “i like you too seungmin, a lot”

he chuckles, pulling you onto his lap, “i liked you first.”

your lips meet in a kiss again, and felix knocks on the door, opening it not to long after. “you guys okay in… oh- i’m- i’ll just-“, he stutters over his words as he rushes out the door, closing it again.

you and seungmin giggle again, and you quickly finish his makeup before bringing him outside. the boys all give you teasing looks, and you have to brush them off before you get too flustered.

on the other hand, every time it’s mentioned, seungmin has a big goofy smile on his face, one that you can’t stop yourself from admiring. he turns to you again, his eyes softening when he sees your eyes fixated on his smile.

the boys finish practice, and you meet with all of them later. there’s a frown on seungmins face, probably because he couldn’t focus at all and got all the moves wrong. 

you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind him. “what are you doing?”

you giggle, “well, i can’t have my boyfriend being all grumpy in front of his friends can i?”

he turns around quicker than you can process, “boyfriend?”, he says with a hopeful smile. “obviously”, you chuckle.

he places quick pecks onto your lips and nose, completely forgetting that his friends are in the room with him, and if you’ll be honest, so did you.

you’re brought out of your thoughts when changbin finally speaks up.

“yoh! can you two get a room?”

<3

[weirdsht]

Out of My Mind (Out of Their Minds pt. 2) - Paseton/Male! Reader

notes: legit spent 5 mins breaking down while writing this because idfk how to spell aquarium T-T.

tags: male reader, mermaid reader, paseton/reader but they are not official, 430-431 canon divergence, cussing

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

Buy Me Dessert

Navigation Masterlist Out of Their Minds (pt. 1)

Crash! 

Baaaaaaaaang!

You watched the chaos going on outside your house from the comfort of your tank. 

Okay, it’s Paseton’s house but it’s not like it matters much.

It’s almost been a year since you started living with the Whale Tribe. At first, everyone was apprehensive about the Whale Prince bringing you home. However, soon enough they considered you as part of their own.

They seem to have a misunderstanding that you and Paseton are dating though. Not that you knew about it.

“What’s wrong? You scared little bitch? Hmmm?“

You hear Archie taunt White Star and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I wish I asked for some snacks…”

Chaos continued on the battlefield. The tank on the rooftop gave you full access to everything happening while simultaneously displaying you.

“So I just have to act like I don’t want to give this piece of paper since it’s from my mom? But it’s not really from her and this is just some bullshit document?”

“Exactly, just taunt them for a bit before giving it up.”

“But what if they want to take me with them?”

You asked Paseton as you clutch the fake document in your chest.

“They wouldn’t be able to get you out of our house even if they wanted to. I promise.”

Paseton reassures you. His confident gaze makes you have courage too.

“So that’s where you’ve been. I’ve been worried sick you know?”

White Star lied to your face casually. You couldn’t help but stick your middle finger at him.

“You’re not that great of a liar you fucker!”

…Maybe you’ve been hanging too much with Archie these days.

The masked man let out a dry laugh before his eyes landed on the document you were holding. How could it not? It’s under-water but it looks perfectly fine. That could only mean that it’s important.

“I see you’ve decided to betray your kind and join hands with the Whale Tribe. Say now my nephew, what’s that paper in your hands?”

“Nephew my ass! I told you stupid idiots that I’m not that desperate for a family to consider you as one.”

You dived down the tank and White Star leisurely followed you by going down the stairs. Yes, Paseton has essentially built an entire saltwater aquarium that has access to every part of his house. He said that this way you’ll be able to go anywhere you want in the house even while staying in the tank.

“Give that document to me and then we’ll go home together. How does that sound?”

Is this guy dumb or what? Just how many times do you have to say that you don’t want to be part of his cult before he gets it in that thick skull of his?

“This is my home you dipshit! And there’s no way I’m giving you this. Mom said this is important enough that it will unite the mermaids and the whales—”

You covered your mouth as if you’d accidentally spilt a big secret. White Star smiled, your “slip-up” just confirmed his suspicion that the document in your hand is connected to the one in Paseton’s pocket.

“That must be the bargaining chip you used so you could hide in here.”

‘Err not really… Wow, young master Cale was right, walk a few steps with this bastard and he’ll run a mile.’

The deposed mermaid prince accidentally showed astonishment in his face. Luckily, White Star interpreted it as his guess being the correct one.

“Give that to me, a child does not need such important things.”

“I’m in my 20s, I’m not a kid. Did losing every battle with Cale Henituse make you dumb or something?”

You swam back up to the rooftop where Paseton deliberately left an opening so White Star could snatch the document in your hands. Placing two hands on the edge of the tank, you hoist yourself up. Making it look like you’re trying to escape.

“Archie! Help me over here!”

The killer whale on the glacier looked at you and stood up to go help you. Just in time, you could see Sayeru snatch the document in Paseton’s pocket.

“It’s time for the missing prince to go home and fulfil his duties, no?”

“Ow! Let go of my hair! Go grab your own!”

White Star not only snatched the document in your hands, he also dared to grab you by the hair. It looks like he fully intends to drag you back home.

“That power is not here.”

“Power? What power are you talking about you bastard?”

You continue to struggle in White Star’s hold as he opens the document with one hand. Just when will Archie get here?

“...This is real. This looks like a real ancient text.”

The lunatic kept speaking to himself.

Sayeru, who heard that said lunatic, ordered the black mages to start casting the teleportation circle.

Okay, now you’re panicking a little. If Archie takes his sweet time getting to here you’ll be a goner.

“Hey! Give that back to me and let me go! Hwy are you even listening to me!?”

You frantically shout but White Star doesn’t say anything and just continues dragging you towards one of the teleportation circles.

“Oh no you don’t!”

“Took you long enough you stupid whale!”

“Is that how you speak to your saviour!?”

Archie snarled at you but you didn’t back down.

“Savior my ass! You sliced my beautiful hair!”

“That could’ve been one of your fins you brat!”

You two argued as you escaped from White Star.

“Are we not taking the mermaid with us?”

“We can get him another time. This takes priority.”

Paaaat!

Sayeru and White Star chatted as the teleportation circle did its thing and allowed them to escape the land of the Whale Tribe. 

“My hair! Do you know just how hard I take care of it!?”

“It’ll grow back you crybaby!”

You and Archie are still arguing even as you arrive at where Paseton and the Whale King are.

“Are they always like this?”

Cale asked Witira after seeing your dynamic with the killer whale.

“I didn’t expect them to get along so well, my brother seems to have a headache though since the mermaid prince has been cursing more nowadays.”

Well, you and Archie really seemed to bond in your own ways so Cale lets the topic go. Instead, he focused his attention towards Witira and the approaching Clopeh.

“Are you okay?”

Paseton grabbed you from Archie so he could carry you in his arms. As soon as you were in his arms you rested your head against his chest. The movement was instinctual from how many times he has carried you.

No wonder why people mistake you two as a couple. Shickler personally thinks it’s just a matter of time before Paseton goes to him to say that his going to marry you.

“I was scared he was going to bring me back to that crazy place…”

You mumbled against the Whale Prince’s chest. The earlier spite you had now gone.

“I promised you remember? I told you that I won't let anyone take you away.“

“Yeah…”

Paseton stroked your badly trimmed hair. His gesture brings you comfort, you still feel a bit shaken up from earlier but being in Paseton's arms reminds you that everything is okay now.

If you asked your past self if they could imagine you feeling safe in the Whale Tribe Prince’s arm he’d probably look at you as if you’re insane.

And perhaps you are. But you wouldn’t want to change. 

[heyiwrotesomethings]

So, your requests are open, huh? Cool, could you write a shinoby x demon reader who feasts off of strong negative emotions? And that's why they're so attracted to Shinobu? Enemies to lovers fluff is always the way to go :>

Bottomless Well

Shinobu Kochou x They/Them Demon Reader

A/N: AAAAHHHH so much longer than I would have liked but it’s finally done! Sorry if there are more errors than usual, tumblr is breaking because of how long this is. Anyways, enemies to lovers with a bit of angst but it all works out in the end thanks for reading, hope you like it! Word Count: 5,928

There was a sense of danger that clung so thickly to the air that (Y/n) could taste it. Normally, they would make themself scarce when the presence of a skilled demon slayer was felt, but the taste of danger wasn’t the only thing the demon could feel sparking against their tongue.

A deep-seated hatred, disgust and coveted anger that seemed to know no end. (Y/n) wasn’t even close enough to feed off of the feelings properly, and yet they could feel themself growing stronger. It had been weeks since they had found someone suitable feed off of, and whoever was sharing this mountain path with them tonight could easily sustain them for the next thousand years.

Their curiosity outweighed their sense of caution. They needed to see the vessel of these powerful, negative emotions. They had never tasted such flavors at this intensity before. Even at the risk of their head, it would be worth it to trail this human at least until they made it to Tokyo. The big city promised an abundance of bitter souls to draw energy from. Though compared to the extraordinarily deep well of this single human, (Y/n) thought that even the entire population of Tokyo would be lacking in comparison.

They tip-toed from tree to tree, slowly gaining on the soft footfalls shuffling the dried leaves that littered the rugged earth. A tentative peek around a sturdy pine revealed the back of a small woman, hair tied up with an ornate butterfly clip, sheathed blade peaking from beneath her haori as it billowed slightly in the breeze.

“Wow,” (Y/n) murmured, “how does someone so small carry so much spite?”

The woman paused, and (Y/n) ducked back behind the tree trunk before they could be spotted. They held their breath until they heard the woman start walking again. They waited until the footsteps began to fade before picking up their pursuit once more.

They were delighted to find that when dawn threatened to light the sky, the slayer decided to rest. Hopefully she would rest most of the day, that way (Y/n) could easily catch up to her again when the sun went down once more, though now that they had honed in on the anger this woman kept, she’d probably need to travel at least halfway across the country for (Y/n) to lose her now.

The woman took a spot where the sun would would make first contact and (Y/n) took cover beneath the thick pine trees, close enough to study the woman further, but not close enough to be discovered, hopefully.

(Y/n) keen ears caught the woman’s tired groan. She leaned forward and rubbed at her face and (Y/n) hummed sympathetically. They wondered how long the slayer had been on the road. Where did she come from and where was she heading? Was she on her way home or was she heading towards her objective?

(Y/n) continued to ponder these questions, among others, as they watched the slayer rest in the sunlight for the next several hours.

“Finally!” (Y/n) stretched and stumbled out of the thick woods when the last sliver of sun faded away.

The demon slayer had left about an hour before sunset so they had some ground to make up. However, that distance was easily closed since they were energized by the their previous proximity to the woman’s fury.

They knew they were close when they heard metal scraping against metal and a wild yowl. (Y/n) spied on them from behind a grove of bushes. The demon slayer was fighting a lone demon and by the looks of it, she would easily win. Her movements were methodical and at first (Y/n) wondered what the point of those quick jabs were, but it soon became clear.

“Poison?” They marveled, watching the other demon collapse and choke with morbid fascination. That woman was really not one to be trifled with.

They watched her flick the blood from her blade, but then their eyes wandered beyond the butterfly woman to the tree limbs above.

“Above you!” (Y/n) shouted spontaneously, ducking below the shrubs, placing their hand over their mouth much too late to be effective.

The demon slayer’s head jerked to where (Y/n) hid within the bushes before craning up to the trees, finding two more demons who screeched angrily upon being discovered. They descended upon the demon slayer, but as with their fallen companion, they stood no chance. With impressive speed, the slayer disposed of them both.

She flicked her blade clean once more and dutifully checked her surroundings, including the bushes, but found nothing.

“Hello? Where did you run off to? You can come out, I don’t bite.”

Somehow after watching her kill three demons without breaking a sweat, (Y/n) found that hard to believe. Especially if she found out they were a demon as well. Since those deaths by poison seemed less than pleasant, they would stay hidden.

It took a minute, but the woman finally shook her head and sheathed her sword, then went on her way. (Y/n) peered around the rotted tree they had crouched behind and watched her go. When her back was swallowed by the shadows of the trees, they began their pursuit once more.

For a demon slayer so full of hate, her voice sure was soft.

Another day another night, (Y/n) followed the slayer across the countryside. In another couple days, they would arrive in Tokyo. (Y/n) was almost sad to be losing her unaware companion, but it was a dangerous game they had been playing and the slayer seemed to grow more paranoid as the hours dragged by.

Another nightfall, another night of playing catch up, yet something felt different about this night. It seemed like the demon slayer hadn’t made it very far at all despite leaving before sunset as she had done previously.

(Y/n) grunted, mildly annoyed. The slayer’s essence seemed to follow no set path, it surrounded them like a fog. They closed their eyes and parted their lips, inhaling deeply to try to find the thread of where the negative emotions were strongest.

Finding a promising lead, they followed, the negative emotions grew stronger, but (Y/n) had yet to catch sight of the slayer again. Then they saw a strange shape hanging from a tree branch and went to investigate it. On closer inspection they saw that it was the demon slayer’s haori.

“What the hell is she up to?”

And then (Y/n) suddenly found themself in the dirt their arms pinned painfully against their back.

“So my suspicions were correct.”

(Y/n) grit their teeth in pain and twisted their head to the side to look up at the demon slayer they had been trailing for the last handful of nights. A knee dug further into the base of their spine, a warning not to make another move.

“How long have you been following me exactly, demon? And to what end?”

Well this was intimidating. (Y/n) had known they had been playing with fire, but they weren’t dead yet. The demon slayer had made a mistake by not running her poisoned nichirin through them the second she had the chance instead of choosing an interrogation. Had she discovered them on the first night, she could have done away with them just as easily as those other demons from a few nights prior, but since (Y/n) had harvested a steady intake of the plentiful negative emotions lurking within her, they were leagues stronger now. But they would let the slayer think she had the upper hand for the time being. They weren’t too confident they could free themself without accidentally hurting her. They were unused to being so strong.

“It’s been a little less than a week, but I meant you no harm.”

“Am I really supposed to trust the word of a demon?”

“Well, why’d you ask if you aren’t going to believe me anyway?” (Y/n) retorted with snark.

The knee at their back added more pressure and their arm bent at an even more uncomfortable angle.

“Ah! Hey, take it easy!”

“Then explain yourself.”

“I’m trying! But you aren’t a very good listener!” (Y/n) huffed. “I was only following you until you got to Tokyo, or until you got off the path at least.”

“Tokyo?” The demon slayer was unmoved, “Fancied yourself a feast, did you?”

“Truthfully, yes, but probably not in the way you’re imagining. I get all the energy I need feeding off of the negative emotions of humans. You carry a very substantial amount, ergo, why I chose to follow you. There really isn’t anything else to it.”

“Again, I find that hard to believe. I doubt these negative emotions you chase are organically occurring. Do I look like I harbor anything of the sort?” The woman’s smile was sugary sweet, but (Y/n) was not at all fooled.

“Oh come on! You are a blistering inferno! I don’t know who hurt you, but they hurt you badly. You probably know more than anyone that there is plenty of grief and fury in the world. I don’t need to harm anyone to find someone upset with their lot in life. They’re an ordinary occurrence. But I have to say, I’ve never met anyone like you before. Your well is bottomless.”

The demon slayer hummed, but by her eyes alone, (Y/n) could tell she was still doubting them.

“Demon,”

“My name is (Y/n).”

“Demon,” the slayer began again, “how many people have you killed?”

What an unfair question! You’d be hard pressed to find a demon who hadn’t killed or maimed at least one human before they gained some control and introspection.

“I haven’t killed anyone, but I did severely injure a friend of mine at the time when I first turned. I’m not trying to excuse what I did, but—“

“Would you say you attacked them with the intention to kill?”

“I wasn’t myself, like I said I had just—“

“I think I’ve heard enough.”

(Y/n) heard the scraping of a blade leaving its sheath and decided the time to act had come.

With a careful kind of strength and speed, they flipped the script on the slayer, pinning her to the ground in a similar position that they had been in seconds before.

“Okay, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s my turn to talk!” (Y/n) growled. “Yes, I hurt someone I cared about. The fear and pain and betrayal they felt fed me more than the chunk I took out their wrist. But I don’t fondly look back on it as one of the ‘best’ emotions I’ve fed on. When I think of them, it’s about how they tried to help me and I repaid them by shredding their tendons. How they probably had to give up on their ceramist apprenticeship because of me. I left them every yen I owned, but I know it will never make up for what I did.

I haven’t hurt anyone since. In fact, I usually go out of my way to help people when I can. Like when I warned you about the demons about to pounce on your head the other night.”

“How do you help people when you feed off of their misery?” the slayer asked. Her voice though soft, held an undertone of bite to it.

“By feeding off of their misery.” (Y/n) went on to explain further, “I’ve discovered that if I feed on the negative emotions of a single person long enough, their well dries up. Not permanently, but until the next upset comes along at the very least. That’s why I want to go to Tokyo, there it’s always something.”

“You’ll make it to Tokyo over my dead body.”

The slayer’s voice sent a shiver down (Y/n)’s spine. They felt her shift her legs beneath them and heard a dual schwing! behind them, giving them enough time to narrowly dodge the knives that had apparently been built into the slayer’s footwear. She was very resourceful, they’d give her that much.

“Alright, knife shoes, that’s enough for me!” (Y/n) shouted, jumping back several feet, “This will be where we part ways. Wish I could say it was a pleasure, but actually having to talk to you was not a treat!”

(Y/n) darted away, really putting their newly invigorated speed to the test. All was well for but a few minutes before the slayer was soaring at them with all the force of a speeding bullet.

“Holy fuck!” (Y/n) felt the displacement of the air as the sword nearly grazed their cheek. “Holy fuck she’s fast!”

They pin-balled through the forest and it almost looked like the slayer —who just had to be a Hashira, had to be!— had (Y/n) right where she wanted them. The edge of a cliff.

“End of the line.” She drawled, fake smile holding on for dear life.

(Y/n) noticed the slayer’s apparent exhaustion and frustration, and smirked.

“Maybe for you, but if you took the time to actually listen to anything I told you, you would know I’m at the strongest I’ve ever been right now and that’s all thanks to you.” They slid their heel over the edge of the craggy cliff, “Not that you’ll believe me, but I promise to use this power for good as long as I have it. Bye-bye, Butterfly Girl.”

“Don’t move!”

But (Y/n) had already fallen. Wasn’t the most graceful dive, but they made it to the river far below relatively unscathed as far as demons go, and with the speed of the water’s flow, they would be long gone before the demon slayer safely made it down.

Shinobu clenched her fists to a knuckle-white hue as she watched the demon float away. They stuck their tongue out at her mockingly before they disappeared around the bend. Taking advantage of her solitude, Shinobu swore,

“Damn it!”

She had never been so embarrassed! If the other Hashira found out about this, she would never hear the end of it. That demon wasn’t even part of the Moons! She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, then another. She fixed her hair back into place, her mind already made up. She would kill that demon after she had some time to recoup after spending so much time away from her estate.

“Run all you like, but I know where I’ll find you.”

***

“Oh! Missed again Bu-Bu, you’ll have to do better than that!” (Y/n) taunted.

“I will be sure to make your demise the most painful I’ve ever crafted.” Shinobu smiled tightly, veins fit to burst.

(Y/n) just had to learn her name after months of this cat and mouse chase and craft the most asinine nickname Shinobu had ever heard. Even Kanae would have known better than to ever utter something so childish.

“Sure, as you said the last time you made the trip to Tokyo, and the time before that, and the time before that—“

Shinobu pulled a throwing knife from her sleeve and tossed it at (Y/n) with wood splintering speed, luckily (Y/n) saw it coming, despite it being a new trick Shinobu had brought along. Shinobu grit her teeth together. No one could bring her fury to the surface like (Y/n) could.

“Don’t you think you’ll ever grow tired of this? Don’t you have more important things to do?” (Y/n) sighed, “Don’t get me wrong, I look forward to your visits but I can’t help but think your time would be better spent elsewhere.”

“It is my duty as a Hashira to destroy every demon the crosses my path, and that is just what I’ll do.” Shinobu dropped down I to another stance and burst forward in hopes of scraping (Y/n) just the tiniest bit, that’s all she needed! But again, (Y/n) avoided her.

“Come on, Bu-Bu, I’m sorry that I’ve damaged your pride time and time again, can’t we just start over? I think we’d make a pretty good team in all honesty.”

And (Y/n) was serious. Try as they might to dislike Shinobu, whenever they felt her arrival in the big city, they always went looking for her. They just couldn’t help but be drawn to her and the angst she shouldered. As hard a time as they liked to give her, they thought Shinobu was rather remarkable.

“Call me that one more time.” Shinobu dared.

“…Bu-Bu— AH!”

Shinobu pelted a barrage of knives and needles at (Y/n)’s retreating back as they sprinted and dove out of the alleyway, startling a pompous looking rich couple strolling down the street.

“Sorry, ‘scuse me! Trying not to die!”

***

Shinobu didn’t know what to do. She hated to even consider the possibility that this was a battle she could not win. She accepted long ago that (Y/n) really did feed off of the negative emotions of others and since that was the case, it was very likely that she could not be the one to kill the demon, simply because her well was much to deep. It pained her to say that (Y/n) was correct. As long as her anger remained unchecked, she could not defeat them.

Maybe it would be best to hand this self-imposed task to someone else. Kanao could probably overtake them… but Shinobu knew she would not be satisfied unless she ended things on her own terms. How could she lessen the hate within her so that she could utterly destroy (Y/n)?

Then Shinobu got an idea. A new approach. An insane approach.

What if she made an effort to befriend the demon? Maybe she could trick herself into lessening that hatred. Shrinking her well and thereby weakening (Y/n) enough to possibly defeat them on her own. At this point, she had no other options but to cut her loses and try to forget the infuriating demon and Shinobu was no quitter.

With that, she began planning her next trip to Tokyo with a renewed vigor. Who knew killing someone with kindness could be taken so literally.

***

“So let me get this straight…” (Y/n) rubbed the back of their neck, “You want a tour of the city and you want me to give it to you.”

“Yes.”

“But… why?”

“I was just thinking it’s been such a waste chasing you around. I’ve been all over this city but never stopped to take it in. You’ve been living here for months now, so I figured you could show me around. Does that not sound favorable? Didn’t you say you wanted to extend an olive branch?”

(Y/n) hummed, amused, “Are you sure this isn’t some elaborate scheme you are trying to pull that’ll render me worm food?”

No. “Yes, no tricks. I promise.” Shinobu held out her hand, then subtlety rolled her eyes when (Y/n) eyed the limb suspiciously. She rolled up her sleeves, “Completely bare, see?”

(Y/n) pursed their lips in thought before nodding in acceptance, a shy smile working at their lips as they reached their hand out to grasp Shinobu’s in a firm shake.

“Alright, what would you like to see first?”

“Surprise me.”

(Y/n) was a surprisingly competent tour guide bursting with information about themself and the sights around them. They had begun by telling Shinobu about the small village they had come from and how much of a culture shock it was when they finally made to Tokyo. They had never seen so many people and there were so many lights that it almost made night seem like day. It was very overwhelming at first, but they got a hang of it.

After wandering around for some time, (Y/n) asked Shinobu if she was hungry and took her to a ramen hut that was wildly popular.

“I’ve heard all sorts of great things about this place. If eating regular food didn’t make me feel so ill afterwards, I would be all over it! You have to let me know how it tastes!” They beamed excitedly.

Shinobu had to admit it was very good and well worth the wait.

“Hey Bu— Kochou, you’re a smart, science-y kind of gal. Do you think that a cure for demons is possible?”

“…I suppose it’s not out of the realm of possibility. Though I’d say it’s unlikely. It’s not something I’ve spent any time studying anyhow.”

“I see,” (Y/n) sighed, “you know, another reason I came to Tokyo was because I heard that there was a demon around here who was researching a cure, but I think she must have skipped town. It makes sense I guess. It’s a dangerous business trying to defy, ya know… so if a nobody like me heard about a demon doctor in Tokyo she must have packed her things and left the second her cover was blown. It’s still aggravating though, I really wanted to try to help her out.”

After Shinobu finished her meal, (Y/n) paid for it before she could retrieve her pouch.

“I thought you said you gave away all your money.” She recalled.

“I did, but I got myself a job that even comes with boarding! I only needed a place to protect me from the sun, but I thought I’d send the money I made back home to provide a steady income to my friend but the letters kept getting returned to me unopened so I’m kind of stuck with the cash…” They ran their hands over their clothes uncomfortably but put on a brave smile, “Well, anything else you’d like to do? The night is still young.”

They made their way down the bustling road, (Y/n) being the one to keep the conversation going most of the time. Shinobu made an effort to listen to at least pretend to be interested and file away any information that could actually be important moving forward.

She was distracted by a woman calling for someone as she clumsily navigated her way across the street. (Y/n) turned to greet her, seemingly familiar with her. Shinobu watched the interaction curiously.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping me the other day!” The woman bowed profusely, shoving a box of assorted treats into (Y/n)’s hands.

“You don’t need to thank me for anything, really. Somebody needed to step in.”

“Even so, please accept these as a token of my gratitude.” The woman shifted nervously before quickly kissing (Y/n)’s cheek before running back into the crowd.

“What was that about?” Shinobu asked.

“I, uh, punched a guy that was trying to feel her up. You probably don’t agree with the way I chose to go about it but,”

“No, I probably would have done the same. Good on you.” Shinobu half-heartedly praised.

“You mean it? Phew, I thought you’d be all like, ‘you mustn’t ever raise your hand to a human no matter the reason!’ or something.”

“I don’t sound like that.”

“You kinda do. Anyway, I would love to see you punch a guy. Just really wipe the floor with some jerk who really deserves— Hey! Watch out!”

(Y/n) disappeared from Shinobu’s side in a second and she heard an awful crunching sound and turned to the street. She saw a young boy on hands and knees, a temari rolling slowly away from him, and just a little further to the left, (Y/n)’s forearm had caved in around the hood of an oncoming automobile, stopping it in its tracks.

“Are you okay?” They asked the boy before checking in on the passengers of the vehicle. The obviously intoxicated driver shook an angry fist at them before puttering off at a much slower, jerkier speed.

Shinobu approached the scene, prepared to check over the boy for injuries. He clearly scraped up his palms and knees and was crying woefully.

“It hurts doesn’t it?” (Y/n) smiled sympathetically, “Here, I know a bit of magic that will help the pain go away.”

Shinobu watched the demon make a whole manner of nonsensical hand gestures and noises that made the weepy boy giggle and then with a deep inhale, the boy blinked, suddenly he didn’t feel so bad.

“You really are magic.” He whispered with awe.

“It’s our secret, okay?”

The boy made a show of zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

“Kochou, do you have anything for his scrapes? I can take care of the pain, but not the actual injuries.”

“Of course.”

She patched the boy up and (Y/n) retrieved his temari. Together they helped reunite the boy with his worried mother.

“Are you always so busy? Or are you putting on a special show just for me?” Shinobu asked.

“Not at all! I may feed off of negative emotions, that I’ll sit by if there is something I can do to make it better.”

“I recall you saying something similar before I suppose.”

“Oh, so you do listen to me. I wonder sometimes.” (Y/n) teased.

“Just take me to our next destination, please.”

“You got it, Bu-Bu.”

“Quit it.”

***

Another handful of months go by, more than a year since she first tackled (Y/n) to the ground and Shinobu knows she’s in too deep. Her plan was to marginally taper her hatred for (Y/n), not fall in love with them! Try as she might to ignore it, (Y/n) had shown their merit time and time again and grew on Shinobu like lichen on sturdy stone.

They were genuine, goofy, sweet, a pain in the ass, and Shinobu was smitten. There had been a handful of times where Shinobu thought she could do it, she could get the jump on them and end it all for good, but then (Y/n) would smile at her so sincerely or laugh in the way that would make her heart swell and she just couldn’t do it!

She told them things about herself that those closest to her had to twist her arm to get out of her. She just couldn’t believe she had gotten here from where she started, but try as she might to convince herself, she couldn’t say she regretted it.

“Oh great! You found a seat!”

Shinobu tried to temper the blush dusting her cheeks. She still hadn’t quite recovered from (Y/n)’s exuberant appraisal of the yukata she had worn for the occasion. It was a festival after all, why not dress up a bit? No other reason…

“Here, hope you like dango.”

“I do. Thank you.” Shinobu smiled, taking the offering and trying to ignore how her skin tingled when her hand brushed theirs.

They watched the procession of performers carry on down the street lit in a vibrant orange glow from the paper lanterns scattered around, but they kept glancing at each other, nervous for whatever reason. Their hands accidentally brushed when (Y/n) rested their palm against the branch. They jolted apart before cautiously meeting in the middle again.

“Shinobu,”

“Hm?” Shinobu attempted to mentally beat down her fluttering heart, when she saw how close (Y/n)’s face was to hers.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

Already breathless, Shinobu nodded numbly. There had been a couple close calls in the past since they seemed to pull on each other like magnets, but now it was really happening. Or maybe not because Shinobu’s stomach was suddenly in knots.

This whole build up was built upon the fact that she wanted to take (Y/n)’s life. A secret she had kept to this very night. Perhaps if she brought it up when they first entered the friend stage they could have laughed about it, but now it was eating her up inside. She had to tell them.

“W-wait.”

(Y/n) pulled back, apologies ready for being so forward, but Shinobu shushed them.

“Before we continue. I must tell you something important.“

“What is it?” (Y/n) asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“My intentions towards you have not always been pure.” Shinobu swallowed. “When I first approached you under the guise of offering an olive branch, I was really coming at you as a Trojan horse. I intended to get close to you, in order to bring down your guard and lessen my hate towards you in hopes to more easily destroy you.”

“Oh.”

“Instead I accidentally fell for you. It’s rather ironic, isn’t it?” Shinobu chuckled, attempting to lighten the weight of her very heavy confession.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) chuckled dryly in return, looking down at their feet, “you must be disappointed.”

“I grappled with it for a while, but I got over it.” Shinobu slid her hand out to find (Y/n)’s again, but to her surprise they stood up before their hands met.

“I’m sorry falling in love with me was such an awful thing that you had to fight with yourself over it.”

“(Y/n)?” Shinobu stood as well, reaching out for them only for them to back away.

“Well, in a way I guess you still succeeded. I don’t think I’ve ever hurt this much.”

“I didn’t tell you this to hurt you, I just wanted to be transparent with you.”

“You had plenty of time to be transparent! When did you start to actually care? How much of the time that I look back fondly upon were you actually thinking about when to stab me in the back!”

“(Y/n), please,” Shinobu beseeched, but (Y/n) shook their head.

“I think I better go.”

“Wait—!”

Shinobu reached out to grab them but they were already gone.

***

Shinobu had searched for (Y/n) in all the usual places. She even waited outside their place of work, but their boss sourly told her they had been missing their shifts. They wouldn’t leave Tokyo without telling her, would they? She had looked in all the usual places, asked people for any hint of their whereabouts, but received no leads. Thinking about it now, (Y/n) always seemed to be the one finding her, not the other way around. (Y/n) probably tracked her through their abilities and this meant that if (Y/n) didn’t want Shinobu to find them, she never would.

Broken hearted, she returned home and the girls noticed the somber fog she brought home with her. She appreciated their attempts to cheer her up, but nothing would keep her from her brooding for long.

Day after day she wallowed, barely keeping up with her work because as long as she appeared to be functioning on the surface, people left her alone for the most part. She’d lay in bed, languishinging away. Stewing in her sadness and growing frustrated with herself. She was not Tomioka, she wasn’t the type to lay in a dark room all day and wonder, ‘why me?’ She took charge! She kicked ass and took names! She saw a butterfly in the garden that reminded her of (Y/n) and cried about it for twenty-five minutes…

Shinobu was absolutely miserable.

Taking note of the time, she took a deep breath and heaved herself out of bed to allow herself some time to fix herself into something resembling a functioning human being before she headed to the lab. She had been working on finding a cure for demons lately and though she really had no need to continue, except for maybe Nezuko she supposed, she couldn’t bring herself to clean up and pack away what she had worked out already. She wondered how long that demon doctor (Y/n) had mentioned had been searching for a cure.

As Shinobu dragged her feet through the halls, she heard a commotion. She was content to ignore it, thinking it was probably just the rowdy boys coming back from their latest missions until she heard someone shouting about a demon.

A demon on estate grounds was unheard of, especially during the day.

Shinobu ran passed the lab and through the sea of Kakushi frantically running about, yelling to quickly find her or Kanao to deal with the matter.

“Everyone be quiet!” She heard Aoi yell from somewhere within the chaos. “Remember the protocol! Get to your stations!”

The crowd thinned enough for Shinobu to make her way outside. Kanao was already there, sword at the ready. Shinobu aimed her gaze further ahead to see exactly what they were dealing with her heart nearly fell to her feet.

Underneath a large umbrella, only slightly singed, (Y/n) stood timidly, trying not to do anything that would warrant Kanao’s wrath.

Shinobu moved on autopilot, almost tripping herself a few times because she couldn’t take her eyes away from (Y/n). Her hand managed to find Kanao’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, they won’t harm anyone here.” She assured.

Kanao searched Shinobu’s face before taking a step back. Though she had been concerned with Shinobu’s behavior as of late, she was curious to see where exactly she was going with this.

Shinobu walked on until there was only a few steps distance between them. (Y/n) bit their lip nervously.

“Hey—“

“What are you doing out in the sun?!” Shinobu scolded, “You could die! Get inside right now before something goes horribly wrong!”

Shinobu shrugged off her haori and put it around (Y/n) in hopes of adding another protective layer and quickly ushered them inside.

“I’ve got everything under control Kanao, let everyone know there is no need to worry and to go back about their day, please.”

Shinobu pushed (Y/n) through the halls, finally shoving them into her room and shutting the door behind them.

“Are you feeling okay? Nevermind, stupid question. I know you aren’t.” (Y/n) blew out a gust of air and closed their umbrella.

“How did you know where to find me? Why did you come back?”

“Well, after I stopped feeling sorry for myself I thought about what you said. It wasn’t fair for me to run off on you like that, and avoid you in the days that followed. I went looking for you then, but I guess you had given up. I didn’t know how I could find you again to apologize, but then I started feeling your emotions again so I thought you came back. I followed your sorrow, and followed and followed, bought an umbrella, kept going, and then I wound up here.

I’m so sorry I left you alone like that. I obviously hurt you a great deal. Can you forgive me?”

“I think we both both have our fair share of blame. I forgive you. And I’m sorry, do you forgive me.”

“Yes, of course I do.” (Y/n) took a step forward and rose their arms halfway, hesitating. “Um, would a hug be okay?”

“Get over here.”

Shinobu grasped (Y/n)’s wrists and pulled them forward into a right hug. She relaxed into (Y/n)’s body when their arms wrapped around her.

***

“Darling, I already fed Fugu today.” Shinobu told (Y/n), taking the fish food from their hand and placing it back on the shelf.

“Are you sure? She looks hungry.”

“She is trying to deceive you. She knows you’re an easy target.” Shinobu smiled, pulling (Y/n) out of their room by their hand. “Come along now, it’s a full moon, and you said you wanted to go on a walk with me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah!”

They walked hand in hand through the cool night, the moon illuminating the path, occasionally deviating from the path to share a few stolen kisses along the way. Though Shinobu’s well of anger was far from empty, the love they shared helped make the pain much more bearable.

[scnderlands]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒜 𝐵𝐿𝒪𝒪𝒟𝒴 𝑅𝐸𝒰𝒩𝐼𝒪𝒩 — j.slaughter

word count ; 5k

warnings / tags ; MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DNI, fem!reader, VERY DARK CONTENT, murder, heavy non-con to dub-con, light stalking, minor knife play (?), blood play, forced to fuck in ur boyfriends blood, typical johnny slaughter things, biting, fingering, oral (f!recieving), p in v sex, johnny threatening you, mentions of kidnapping + more murder, kinda dead dove do not eat.

authors note ; ok I wrote this at 5am feverishly, so there will probably be a lot of errors and it’s a bit rushed, but shirtless johnny has had me in a chokehold and I’ve been THINKING so I had to scribble something down — I swear I’ll do better next time 🤍

  the heat haze shimmered above the road as you and your boyfriend continued to drive in the rust bucket of a car, which had practically become an oven. the smell of the leather seats mixed with the intense heat and long journey was enough to make you nearly throw up. your only saving grace was a little hand fan your grams gave you as a kid, and the occasional breeze that came through the window when the car could manage to go faster than 20mph. 

  you and your boyfriend were heading to dallas for a weekend away together, taking his fathers rusty old car that had started making a weird sound and smelt of burning about half way into the journey. you got lost at least three times, and of course your boyfriend blamed it on you because you had the map, and not the fact he just wouldn’t listen to you and take the directions you were giving him.

 “look, there’s a mechanics there, we should pull over and see if it’s anything important.” your boyfriend spoke in the most annoyed, yet monotone voice he could, not even sparing you a glance.

 “oh great, stay in this backwards little town that I’m pretty sure neither of us have heard of, sure that’ll be great.” you retorted, folding your arms and looking out the window to the streets you were driving through.

 “just shut up and wait here.”

 you glared at him as he got out and slammed the car door as loud as he possibly could, shaking the car side to side and managing to get the attention of the mechanic working in the garage just ahead. you didn’t even bother looking at him while he was talking away inside, instead you got out the car and headed to the little store just a few buildings down.

 “heya, darlin’.” the shopkeeper chirped up from the seat behind the counter, his feet propped up on the glass top as he read the newspaper.

 you spared him a polite smile and went straight to the refrigerator toward the back of the store, grabbing a bottle of water and sighing in relief at the cool air that hit you as soon as the door opened. the shop was pretty small, paint peeling from the walls and the door, posters all over that were a couple years past whatever they were advertising, and the cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air — presumably from the rugged looking man behind the counter.

you decided to grab a few more drinks and some snacks for yourself before making your way to the counter, not bothering to buy anything your partner liked. 

 “is that all, darlin’?” the cashier stood up and tapped away at the till, counting up all the things you bought for yourself.

 before you could reply, you saw a stack of newspapers at the side of the counter, big bold letters on the front reading “another teenager missing—” and you couldn’t read the rest from it being folded over.

 “oh that’s some nasty business, that is…” the man behind the till spoke in a thick southern accent, noticing how you were looking at the papers, “whole bunch of ‘em gone missing recently, search parties ain’t turnin up nothing, I bet they all dead by now…”

 “oh wow…” you grimaced a little to yourself, “sounds like it’s quite a big issue round here.”

 “yeah, like we say it been happenin’ awhile now, was one at a time then a few of them seemed to disappear. cops say there ain’t no way of knowin’ if they went missin’ round here, but everyone knows they did.”

 you politely put a paper on the top of your other things and he nodded, placing it neatly into the bag he packed some of your stuff into already, “you be careful out there, darlin’, ain’t no safe place nowadays.”

 “I will, thank you.” you gave him another smile and took your bag from the counter, you stopped just shy of the front door, “you wouldn’t happen to know if there’s a motel or somewhere to stay round here, would you?”

 “oh sure thing, there’s a motel ‘bout mile and a half up the road, ain’t nothing too fancy but it’s a roof over your head.”

 “thank you.” you grinned and let the door swing shut behind you while you reached into your bag to find your water, the little bell on the top of the door ringing out as you left.

 “oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” you yelped as you walked into something solid.

 “it’s alright, darlin’, you all good?” the deep voice spoke out from above you, his firm grip on your elbow to balance you.

 you looked up to him with doe eyes, a heat rising up your face as you looked at his ruggedly handsome face. your eyes tracing across the scar that ran across his head, then down his jawline before quickly coming to your senses.

 “I’m so sorry, I should really watch where I’m going, I was just trying to grab my water…” you spoke sheepishly, strangely embarrassed that you hadn’t been paying any attention and walked into someone that looked like him.

 before the man could even reply to you, you heard a familiar voice shouting at you from across the road, the anger in his voice very apparent.

 “where the hell did you go? didn’t I tell you to wait in the car? I was worried sick.” your boyfriend stormed across the road without even looking to see if there were any cars or anything, “what the hell were you doing?”

 “hey, do we have an issue here?” the man you just met spoke up, moving to stand in front of you, he crossed his arms across his broad chest and glared at your partner to the point you could see how uncomfortable he was becoming with the stranger looking at him. 

 he was taller than your boyfriend by quite a bit, more muscular too, he had a deeper voice, better hair…honestly he was better in nearly every way. a wave of guilt washed over you pretty quickly after thinking that, you should be defending your boyfriend and not lusting over another man, but you couldn’t help it — after the day you’d had with your partner treating you the way he did, you thought it fair to think another man was attractive — it’s not like you were going to act on it or even see this man again after today.

 “oh no, don’t worry, he’s my boyfriend, he was just over at the mechanics up there and I went to get some snack without saying anything,” you chirped up from behind the stranger, tiptoeing around him to get closer to your partner, “you know with all the stuff happening around here, it was a silly thing for me to just wander off without saying anything, especially in a strange town.”

 “alright…” the strange man paused and then frowned slightly but nodded, giving you a slight wave as he turned and walked into the store you just left.

 “who the hell was that?” your significant other muttered as he began walking away up the road, dragging your suitcase behind him. 

 you opened your mouth to answer him but before you could even get a word out your boyfriend spoke up again, “doesn’t matter. the cars gonna be in here for the rest of the day, said it’d be fixed tomorrow, noon by latest. motels not too far up the road so we’ll just stay there for the night and then we can get the hell out of here.”

 you sauntered behind, not even bothering to give him an answer, instead you just rolled your eyes and admired the way the sunset cast a beautiful orange hue across the fields in the distance. the entire walk to the motel had you thinking about the man you bumped into and the headline of the newspaper that was in your carrier bag from the store.

 a chill ran across the back of your neck just at the thought of all those poor kids who��d gone missing, and you wondered if they were all dead just like the shopkeeper had said they were. it was weird that it seemingly kept happening and the police didn’t seem any closer to catching the perpetrators, because you knew it had been going on for a while — but then again, what use were the cops anyway?

 “looks like the motels just up here”, the voice pulled you from your thoughts and you looked up to see the large building with a big sign outside with “MOTEL” written on it.

 “what gave it away?” you chucked to yourself, ignoring the annoyed sigh that you got in response.

 “give me a second and I’ll go check us in for the night.”

 “alright.” you grabbed your carrier and suitcase from him, and he kept hold of his own bag as he walked to the front desk.

 you stood outside for a couple of minutes, having the uneasy feeling that you were being watched from somewhere, but there was no one else but you around for what seemed like a good way away. your eyes darted back and forth along the long stretch of road, looking into the trees that lined it, but it was too dark already to see anything if it were stood there stalking you. 

 “hey, got the key, come on.”

 you followed close behind as your boyfriend guided you to your room on the second floor, once you stepped in you looked around with a bit of contempt. it was far from perfect, honestly it looked a little grimy and dusty, but it was a roof over your head for the night like the shopkeeper said to you. 

 you threw your bags down at the small table and chairs that were in front of the window, locking and latching the door shut behind you. you peeped out the curtains and looked back down to where you were just stood, scanning intently for a sign of anyone else but there wasn’t, the only thing that seemed to be moving were a few birds fighting for some scraps on the side of the road. 

 “you got nothing I like?” he grumbled as he scrounged through the bag you got from the store.

 “nope, if you want something then you should go get it yourself.”

 he mumbled something under his breath as he stood back up, grabbing his jacket from the bottom of the bed and storming towards the door. the mood he was in was foul, you could practically feel it in the air and you just wanted him out of the room for a little while. you both needed some time alone to cool off, and as much as part of you wanted to ask him to get himself a seperate room, you were too scared to spend the night alone here. 

 “lock the door behind you, I want to go have a shower.”

 he didn’t even reply to you as he slammed the door behind himself, but still you heard him lock it behind himself just like you requested.

 you took your light jacket off and threw it over the back of one of the wooden chairs with a grumble, as you did your coat caught the bag you got from the store and made the newspaper fall to the floor. you bent down to pick it up with annoyance and then sat down, unfolding it and reading the headline in full — “another teenager missing in newt, ninth person missing in the last four months.”

 “holy—” you whispered to yourself in shock, your eyes looking at the picture of the long haired young man on the front, your heart feeling heavy just from looking at it.

 you read a little of the article, it talked about when it first started and when each disappearance happened, and how little they knew about anything. there had been a lot of search parties in the county and the surrounding ones too, but there was never any luck. from what it seemed, it was like all those people just up and vanished into thin air, the police had nothing and there were no witnesses. apparently it caused a lot of ruckus within the town, lots of meetings held in the town hall and people trying to come up with their own solutions rather than relying on the police to do anything. 

 you threw the paper onto the table and shook your head, an uneasy feeling creeping into your entire soul, you wanted out of this place — you wished you could have stopped in any other town than this one, why did it have to be this one? 

 “god, I hope he’s okay…” you thought out loud to yourself as you stood, suddenly worried about your boyfriend being out there all alone.

 you ran your hands up through your hair and let out another sigh, deciding it best to take that shower you said you would, hopefully washing the day away would make you feel any better than you did now. you grabbed a few things from your suitcase and bag and took them into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind yourself — double and triple checking it was locked before placing your things down and turning on the shower.

 you undressed and kicked your clothes to the chair that was next to the door, and stood with your hand under the water, waiting for it to heat up, yet it only seemed to get to just under lukewarm before not getting any hotter. it didn’t really bother you, you were in need of a cold shower to wash away the grime of the hot summer's day, but you’d still have liked a little heat to the water.

 you stood under the shower head for a good while before washing your hair and body, reaching out the shower to grab your shampoo from the side of the sink. just as you did you finally heard your boyfriend return, and you smiled to yourself, just happy he was safe.

 “hey, sweetie,” you called out from the shower but it didn’t seem like he heard you, instead you heard the tv turn on and you rolled your eyes.

 you knew he was probably still in a mood with you, and it didn’t surprise you in the slightest — he was always one to hold a grudge, if you didn’t apologise then you swear he’d go weeks without talking to you, just to spite you. he was stubborn and argumentative, but he could be sweet and caring, and even though some of your friends hated him, you loved him. he never really showed the better side of himself to other people, but when it came to you, he’d do anything — even if it drove him up the wall crazy. 

 the water switched off with a squeak and you carefully stepped out, wrapping your towel tightly around you before moving in front of the sink and looking into the mirror. you made quick work of brushing your teeth and squeezing the water out of your hair, then you did your usual nighttime routine to get it out of the way sooner rather than later.

 “hey listen, I’m sorry about earlier,” you stepped out of the bathroom into the dark bedroom and switched the light off behind you.

 just as your eyes adjust to the light difference, a large hand slammed over your mouth from behind, and then you felt the cool sensation of metal pressing up against your throat. you cried out from behind the hand as you saw your boyfriend splayed out on the bottom of the bed, his blood soaking into the covers and spilling onto the floor, throat cut ear to ear to the point you swear he was nearly decapitated completely.

 “don’t make a sound, okay, sweetheart? otherwise you gonna end up like that annoying boyfriend of yours.” the voice was familiar, deep, southern.

 your eyes widened, blurred from the tears pouring from them. it was the man from earlier, the one you walked into outside of the store. was he annoyed to bumped into him or that your boyfriend seemed to mouth off at him?

 a million thoughts ran through your head in an instant, you didn’t even notice the hand move away from your mouth until the figure slowly walked around you and stood in front of you, his knife trailing along your throat at the same time.

 “you… you’re from the store—“ you could barely spit your words out coherently through your sobbing, not being able to take your eyes away from the pools of blood trickling down the sheets. 

 “hey, you remembered me? that makes me feel real special…” he laughed, the tip of the blade tracing a light line down the middle of your chest and stopping at the top of your towel.

 “I’m sorry for walking into you, I swear I didn’t mean it, I was just—“

 “sweetheart, I don’t care about that, I ain’t that sensitive.”

 he placed the blade under your chin and forced you to look up at him, he wanted all your attention and he’d make sure you gave him it. you didn’t know what to say back to him, you weren’t even sure if you should speak.

 your heart was practically beating out of your chest as he stepped forward, backing you up against the bathroom door. you shut your eyes in wait to feel him attack you, but instead you felt his lips against yours — warm and gentle at first, but then he moved with more forced, more hunger.

 you instinctively moved away from the kiss, smacking your head off the door behind you and gasping.

 “I’m sorry, I just…”

 “what’s wrong, sweetness? you’re a single lady, dont be going and worrying on me now,” his tone was mocking as he pushed his knife more firmly against your throat, a warning.

 you couldn’t even speak, you just nodded. you knew what was coming and you knew you couldn’t exactly fight him, he was twice your size and clearly had no issues with killing anyone that didn’t give him what he wanted. you couldn’t look at him though, you felt dirty beyond what a shower could wash away, instead you stayed looking down at your own feet, trying to ignore how much of your boyfriends blood covered the man’s clothes. 

 he leaned down and kissed you again, this time he was a lot rougher, his free hand grabbing at your hip with a painful grip, his body pushing up against yours until there was no wiggle room left. you barely kissed him back, but still enough that he’d recognise you were doing as you were told. 

 he lowered the blade slightly as he forced you toward the bed, a sudden horror coming over you, he wanted to fuck you on that bed. the bed soaked in your boyfriend's blood, pools of it. that’s when a realisation dawned on you, he was the one who made all those people go missing, all those poor teens everyone thought was dead — all those people you know are dead.

 “wait—“ you quickly spun around and faced him, looking up at his face and you could see the anger flash in his eyes, you knew you couldn’t push your luck too much, “at least…at least tell me your name, please.”

 he laughed and gave you a genuine smile, “it’s johnny, baby, why? you wanna know what name you’re gonna end up screamin’?”

 you nodded innocently in hopes to just buy yourself some more time, praying the police would barge through the door and shoot him dead, but you knew it was wishful thinking. he’s a man that’s got away with it for this long, he obviously doesn’t make mistakes, he knows what he’s doing.

 his finger hooked over the top of your towel while you were distracted, he loosened the fold that held it up, and it crumpled to the floor with a quiet little thud.

 “damn.”

 johnny smiled to himself as he carefully dragged the blade from your pubic bone to the bottom of your ribs, his eyes practically fucking every part of your body already. without much thought your hands shot up to cover your body from his gaze, the embarrassment of being naked in front of a stranger immediately making you cower in front of him like a scared puppy. he didn’t even speak as he grabbed your wrists and yanked your hands away from your body, a quiet sadistic chuckle coming from him as he moved closer to you. 

 “you got some body on you…” his mouth ghosted across yours as he moved his lips down to your neck, kissing and suckling at your supple flesh.

 he kept moving forwards until you both fell onto the bed, the sound of the blood squelching under you and you couldn’t help but yelp, to johnny’s amusement.

 it was cold now, the sheets were full and with every movement more blood squished out of them with a sickening wet sound. you couldn’t help but whimper at the idea of it, the way your entire body was covered in blood, how it slashed up on your face and was soaking into your hair — it was enough to make you want to throw up, you squeezed your eyes shut and breathed in and out loudly to try and calm yourself. 

 “hey, open your eyes.” his voice was low, annoyed.

 the knife pressed against your neck enough to pierce the skin, blood trickling from the wound just enough for johnny to run his tongue along it, licking up all the blood with a satisfied hum. 

 “you taste good.” his free hand ran up the inside of your thigh, the blood coating it making it all the easier for him.

 more tears rolled down your cheeks but you didn’t make a sound anymore, instead you were too focused on the way his thumb rubbed rough circles on your clit, his mouth suckling on one of your nipples — it was like he was trying to pleasure you, and some part of you hated that more, you’d rather him just get it over with and hurt you, but it was obvious he didn’t want that — or at least that’s not all he wanted.

 johnny let his mouth move further and further down your body until his mouth replaced his hand. his tongue swirling around in circles across your puffy, sensitive clit, quiet moans coming from him as he relished in the taste of the blood and your slick mixing together so beautifully. you felt sick to your stomach, not because of what he was doing but because you were enjoying it, because his mouth sucking and teasing at your cunt was one of the best things you’d ever felt. your boyfriend rarely went down on you and when he did, it never felt like this.

 you couldn’t help but let out a quiet whimper, your back arching from the bed and coaxing him on even more. his tongue moved with more speed, going between circles on your clit or fucking into your clenching hole.

 “fuck, such a desperate whore,” he smirked to himself as he forced two fingers into you, not even caring whether they were too big for you to handle or not.

 “wait, ah—“ you tried to move back and away from his hand but his other hand gripping at your hip was too strong, you couldn’t move away from him.

 his fingers were buried knuckle deep inside of you, curling and twisting against the deepest spots inside of you, his mouth resuming what it was doing before — and you could feel yourself unravelling like you never had.

 the tears only got worse when you looked to the side, your boyfriend still laid there with his neck slit ear to ear, a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach as you squeezed your eyes shut. you were disgusting, a horrible human, who in their right mind enjoys getting fucked by a psychopath? one that just killed their lover, one who has you coated in the blood of the person you loved? what the hell had even happened? you had no idea how any of this happened, and your heart broke the more you thought about how he died angry with you, how he died with you angry at him. 

 you were too busy in your own thoughts that you didn’t noticed your orgasm sneaking up on you so quickly, that disgraceful feeling in the pit of your stomach unravelling into something much better, a white hot ball of pleasure, johnny’s name rolling off your tongue like it’s a name you’ve moaned for the last few years.

 he couldn’t take his eyes off you, the way your mouth fell open and your eyes rolled back as he forced you to come on his fingers, the way his name sounded so angelic when it came from your pretty little mouth. he could barely contain himself anymore, his cock almost painful behind the confines of his tight jeans.

 “so… goddamn needy,” he panted as he stripped himself down to nothing, his muscles highlighted by the tv’s flashing pictures at the bottom of the bed. 

 there was something about you that he couldn’t put his finger on, you lured him in from the moment you walked into him. everything about you was perfect, was enticing, you were made for him and he knew it — he knew he had to make you his, and that’s why he followed you and your boyfriend to the motel. he needed to get rid of him and claim you as his own, to fuck you in front of him, but he got too cocky, said somethings johnny didn’t like and he got mad and slit the fuckers throat.

 johnny loomed over you, his big cock teasing up and down your slit, and you couldn’t help but cry. he was too big, bigger than you’ve ever had, and you knew he wouldn’t be gentle with you. he looked down at you with the devil in his eyes, and a smirk on his face, “I’ll give us a little more room, yeah?”

  he kicked to the side and forced your boyfriend's corpse to the floor with a loud wet thud. he laughed to himself as he slid you more into the middle of the bed, more into the pools of blood. he was sick, disgusting…he was getting off on this, all the blood and fucking you in it. 

 as he began to push himself into you, you whimpered at the stretch, “wait, johnny please, too big—“ your hands slapped up and gripped at his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin and breaking it. 

 “it’ll fit, don’t worry, just take it.” he licked the blood from your cheek and forced himself deeper into you with a groan, “fuck…shit”

 he relaxed and leaned down, letting his head fall against into the crook of your neck as he got as close to bottoming out in you as he could.

 he loved the blood, he loved fucking you like this, claiming you as his own whether you wanted him to or not, and it was obvious.  you didn’t know whether he wanted you after this, what was going to happen but you needed to live, to fight for your survival, that much you knew — you had to do the things he liked, and it became pretty obvious what that was. 

 it wasn’t exactly hard to enjoy it, the way his hips moved all the way back then slowly pushed back to you, his cock sliding all the way back in again, the tip kissing your cervix surprisingly gentle.

 a pleasurable sigh escaping past your lips as your hands weaved into his hair, dragging his mouth down to meet yours. you opened your legs further to give him more access, and he took that as an invitation to speed up.

 “dirty little slut want more of daddy’s cock?” he muttered in between kisses, his bloody hand resting against your cheek, and covering your face.

 “fuck— m…more please” you couldn’t help yourself, every single atom of self respect had practically left your body with each thrust.

 his cock had stretched you out beyond your limit but you didn’t even care, the pain was part of the pleasure, and the more that his cock hit that spot inside of you, the less you could think straight. cuss words fell from his mouth as he forced two of his fingers into your mouth, and you could see the glimmer of sick satisfaction in his eyes as he made you taste your lover's blood. you could see how much he enjoyed it, so against every fibre of your being, you let your tongue swirl around his digits. you let out a moan and sucked on them, never once letting your eyes leave his.

 and with that one move you send him over the edge, his thrusts became uneven and hard, he was practically feral. he leaned down and slammed his mouth against yours and bit harshly at your bottom lip, making it bleed just so he could taste you again. he moaned into the kiss, blood and spit stringing up to his lips from yours as he leaned up, his cum coating your insides without any care in the world.

 “fuck…” he panted and collapsed down on you, taking a moment to catch his breath.

 when he moved back it didn’t take him two seconds to replace his cock with his fingers, forcing you to keep his cum inside your aching cunt.

 you could feel how heavy your eyes were getting, the mix of traveling all day, crying, and being brutally fucked had took it out of you. every single muscle in your body ached, you didn’t even think it was possible to be as tired as you were right now.

 “that’s it baby, don’t you worry, I’ll take care of you, I’m keepin’ you.”

[tales-of-wocdes]

I love you and your wip🫵🫶

Please your writing is so good. Plus it has motivated me to continue studying English 🏃‍♀️

I love the different ways mc can react to different situations plus the different outcomes that happen for each choice. Havard is going to have a field day with my mc

(Sorry for any grammatical errors🫠 English isn’t my first language)

Wow! Thank you! And your English is fine to me. Good luck studying, English is not my first language either so I understand that it can be hard. Though reading and watching media helps immensely... Let's hope you don't pick up my bad habits from reading my writing :D

And thank you! It is always awesome to hear people like the story! Every time I make one of those choices with like ~5-8 options, I wonder. "Why do I do this to myself. Even if it is essentially just flavor text, it is a ton of work..." It does always then also make me feel like every choice needs to be like that, which is obviously not true. But, here you have just validated those choices, that are so annoying to write and code, but oh so fun to play :D So thank you for the validation!

I do sometimes consider adding something like a meter for:

Draft 1: "good hooman(?)" vs. "annoying little sh*t". You know, a "little sh*t" in a sort of good funny way...? This has other problems as well.

Draft 2: "puppy/dog energy" vs. "cat energy".

When MC gets a bit more used to the orphanage, they should have an option to properly have a childhood after all :D Be a proper little terror.

[luv4-liv]

❝Take the stress out of you.❞

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. +18. First time. Unprotected sex. Obscenity. He angry. Spanking. Marks on the neck.

Summary: Lola and Remus had an arranged marriage, although he was in love with her. Eventually, she also falls in love and decides to prove her love.

The plot of this One Shot is totally mine and my imagination.

You can find it in Spanish on my wattpad account (piscessbabyy)

Remember that English is not my language so it may contain several errors, please be patient with me

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Time had passed, both were closer. Things had improved financially, and they were comfortable, both of them.

Lola had given it a lot of thought, but finally made up her mind. They had been married for months, it wasn't a bad thing.

She saw the time and after taking a shower, she hurried over there.

After passing by that store, and somewhat embarrassed, ordering what she needed, she hurried home, before her husband arrived.

She had bought red lace underwear. It wasn't something very 'WOW' but she had seen Remus slyly looking at those garments, every time they passed by the store.

And a few days ago, Lola had worn a red blouse, for nothing special, and he was quick to tell her that the color suited her very well.

He liked seeing that color on her.

And from there, the lacy red underwear.

As soon as she entered her house, she ran into the bedroom taking the garments out, changed and put her normal clothes back on.

She felt the sound of the door and quickly hid the bag in the closet.

She left the room as normal as possible, due to her nerves, and went to the living room, running into Lupin.

"Remus?" he looked at her.

"Hello," he said dryly.

He left his coat on the couch and headed for the bedroom, followed by his wife.

As they entered, he sat on the bed, running his hands over his face and then his hair in frustration.

"Are you okay?" she dared to speak again.

"Yes.." he replied more calmly, realizing he had answered somewhat curtly earlier.

"What do you want to eat..?"

"I don't want dinner today, honey. Thank you.."

"Did something happen?" she said, still standing by the door, watching him.

He denied, but then thought about it some more.

"It's just that I had an argument with a co-worker at work, and I got really mad at his attitude." he spoke still with his hands on his head, looking at the floor.

Then she saw the opportunity.

"I think I know a way to take your stress away.." she caught his attention, causing him to now look at her.

Lola, her hands a little shaky for whatever her reaction would be, began to pull her blouse off, exposing her lacy bra.

Remus dropped his gaze from her eyes, to lower his gaze to that garment.

She half-opened her lips, but then denied.

"I'm kind of angry, cutie, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm at your beck and call, Remus, anything that comes from you will make me feel good."

And that was enough for him to get up and slam her against the wall.

He moved his wife's hair to one side, to start kissing her neck.

The girl's moans were getting on his nerves, and he was sure he couldn't take much more.

He gave a little tap on the back of her thighs, to which Lola understood, he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He walked to the bed, leaving her on it, and climbing on top of Lola, without crushing her.

"I love the way that color looks on you."

"I know." she gasped.

He quickly unclasped her bra and went straight to kissing her breasts.

He left a big mark, and smiled.

Lola bit her lip to hold back her little cries, which her husband noticed.

With one hand, Lupin squeezed his girl's neck, without hurting her.

"I want to hear you, don't be quiet."

He continued his task on her breasts, and when both were erect, Remus roughly pulled down his wife's skirt.

Next, unable to wait any longer, he ripped the panties off.

"Hey, they were expensive."

"I can buy you a lot more, if when I get home from work, you'll greet me like this more often." he spoke before kissing her

She gasped in between the kiss, as she felt Remus run a finger across her womanhood, feeling her wetness.

And her moans became even more intense, as Remus began to make circles on her clit.

He was being a little rough, and it was driving her crazy.

Lupin moved his hand away, and Lola was about to moan, until she heard the sound of a zipper, and then Remus's pants drop.

Seconds later, she felt Remus' member, brushing against her womanhood. She moaned at the surprise and closed her eyes, enjoying the contact.

He moved his member up and down, from her clit to her entrance, spreading her wetness.

Remus smiled at the image of his girl enjoying his touch. He never thought he could have her like this, willing to him in such a way.

Lola began to moan unconsciously, the touch was no longer enough for her, and really, not enough for him either.

Without warning, he entered her all at once. Lola moaned loudly and grabbed her husband by the shoulders.

He didn't wait and began to move at a pleasurable speed for both of them.

After a few minutes, he had had enough, he needed to vent his anger.

He grabbed her by the hips and began to penetrate her roughly, causing the moans to get louder.

They were both aware that tomorrow they were going to get complaints from the neighbors if they passed them.

They had no idea how long they had been like this, but in a moment, Remus found the girl's weakest point.

He smiled at that and began to strike deeper into that spot.

When she dug her nails into his shoulders, he responded with a hard spank, she was sure she would get a mark, and it didn't bother him at all.

Their onslaught was beginning to become unbridled, both were about to release the knot of pleasure they were holding back.

Soon after, they reached their orgasm together, but Remus's thrusts would not stop.

That tortured her from the overflow of pleasure, due to her sensitivity from her recent orgasm.

She moaned and to him it was the best thing he had ever heard in his life.

Remus was slowing down. He left one last mark on Lola's neck, and seconds later, he pulled out of her.

They were both lying on the bed, somewhat shaken and tired.

Remus wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, noting all the hickeys he had left.

"We should do this more often.."

"Anytime you want, love." he replied, running his fingers over each of the marks.

They were so amused with each other, they didn't even notice the missing condom, until the other day.

But well, that's another story....

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Semantic Error | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 6

Based off of Semantic Error (bl) by J Soori Summary: Jungkook invites you over to work on the game but you but it's hard to focus when he's around Pairing: Techie inexperienced fem!reader x Artist fuck boy Jungkook Work Count: 1.9k~ a/n: So so sorry I've taken a longer break between posting but let me know what you think about this chapter ;) hardly edited but I figured I would get it out anyway Read from the beginning

I couldn't pay attention in class thanks to him. His stupid voice with his stupid flirting and his stupid face then to top it off having all of that up close and personal made my stupid brain go into overdrive, losing what little space I had left to combat his antics. I hate that he can make me feel like this. And for what? Because he called me pretty? More specifically used it as a pet name, which somehow amplifies the meaning, sending my sense of reason for a spin. I huff audibly as I gather my things and get ready to head out to meet 'he who shall not be named' at this point. I just need to leave class, work there for a few hours and then go home. Simple as that. 

"You okay?" I hear behind me in a semi familiar voice. I turn around perplexed as to who the voice could belong to and see the guy I had helped the other day. " I'm fine" I say and turn back around to continue packing up my belongings. "It's Jimin, we met the other day when you helped me carry all of the music books" he says, not sure if I would need the reminder. "I know" I say plainly and make my way out of the classroom. "Hey, where you headed?" he asks following me without a care in the world. "I'm done for the day so I'm going to go work on something" I say giving him the bare minimum, hoping he won't prod further but unfortunately that's not the case.

"What are you working on?" he asks, clearly curious but also kind of not, seeming happy to simply be making conversation with me for some reason. "A video game application" I say and leave the building with him trailing behind. "Oh wow that's really cool! I had no idea you were into that stuff" he says, clearly shocked learning what I'm capable of but blowing it somewhat out of proportion. It's not as hard as it seems but many people tend to lack the concentration, let alone have the desire to learn.

"Yeah well, bye" I say and walk a bit faster, heading towards the gates. "Wait, I could walk you to where you need to go. I'm done for the day as well" he says jogging a few steps to catch up to me. "That won't be necessary" I say and continue onto my destination but he walks with me anyways. "Why are you following me?" I ask, finally stopping to look at him and see what his goal with all of this is. 

"I just want to make sure you get to your destination safely" he says giving me a sweet smile. "She's safe with me" that stupid voice that I wasn't expecting to hear so soon says while taking hold of my hand. "Oh hey hyung, I didn't know you and y/n were working together" Jimin says, greeting Jungkook. "Well now you do" he says and then we all stand there in somewhat of an awkward silence until I pull my hand out of Jungkook's grasp. "Let's go" I demand and continue to walk towards the gates. "Bye y/n" I hear Jimin say behind me and I decide not to acknowledge it. "See you" Jungkook says to Jimin before following my lead. 

"Do you guys hang out often?" he says falling into step with me and guides us towards his studio. "No we don't and why didn't you just wait for me like I told you to?" I question still feeling uncomfortable from the situation I had been put into moments ago. "Because I wanted to walk with you, plus this way I could make sure you wouldn't run off or get lost. I promise next time I'll just wait for you to come" he says pressing the button at the crosswalk for us. "Whatever" I say under my breath, fixing the strap on my backpack but before I can settle it back into place I feel it being take off of me.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I say looking over at, surprise surprise you guessed it Jeon Jungkook now carrying my bag. "Give it back!" I say reaching for it but before I'm able to reach it he starts walking down the street, showing me it's time for us to cross. "Hey!" I yell after him but all he does is continues to hold it out of my reach. "Just let me carry it for you" he says, slinging it across his shoulder and widening his strides leaving me trailing behind him without much of an option to do otherwise. 

Once we get to his studio I'm met with another girl around our age blasting her music throughout the place and popping the bubble she just blew in her gum. "Hey Yuna!" Jungkook shouts, trying to be heard over the music. "Yuna!" he yells again and decides to just walk up to her to grab her attention. "So much for keeping to herself" I mumble under my breath. "Oh hey, sorry I was totally spacing out. Is this the girl you were talking to me about? You work in the computer science department right?" she asks, zeroing in on me. "Something like that" I say walking further into the room, taking a look at how messy it is.

 "Oh yeah sorry about the mess, things have been really hectic around here" Jungkook says walking over to his desk and clearing off some more space for me. "Pick up that trash first, and put away those books and..." I list off some ways to reorganize the studio into a more suitable working environment. "Clean up your desktop too. Seeing all the icons on the screen is giving me anxiety" I say and he surprisingly does everything that I've asked him to do without much trouble at all. 

"What did you do to him?" Yuna whispers to me, clearly impressed by how well he's following my instructions."I didn't really do anything. I told him that if this wasn't a suitable working environment for me that he would be working on this project solo" I say stating the facts. "Wow" she says not believing it, "Well I'm gonna get back to work, good luck" she says, amused at the dynamic already. 

"Hey" I say getting her attention before she gets back to work. "Can you please uses those headphones you have beside you? It'll be hard to concentrate with your music blaring in my ears" I say and go back to watching as Jungkook completes the list. Hearing what I've said Jungkook comes over to Yuna's desk and nicely puts her headphones on her so there's no argument to be had and she simply blinks at my sudden change in attitude towards her but goes back to work without another word.

I sit down next to him and place my laptop down on the desk and take a deep breath, opening it and turning it on after taking one more quickly glance around the place. "Begin" I say and he starts to open up one of his drawing programs and sketches out some various characters and background ideas while I continue to piece together the code for the whole thing. 

"How's it going?" he says after a bit looking over at my screen, interested in what actually goes into working on the behind the scenes stuff. "It's going" I say and continue typing the various strings of code working out how the character moves around the different environments. "Oh okay" he says, taking that as a sign of me not wanting to continue the conversation. "How are things going on your end?" I ask and lean over to look at his screen and I can see how he almost lights up at my question in my peripheral vision but decide to ignore it. 

He turns his screen towards me a bit so I can sit back a bit into a more comfortable position and explains all of the different outfits and ideas for power up items and he thoughts about what can be added to the storyline. "Yeah everything looks okay, but I don't want to settle for okay. You need to change this, it looks too crazy, I want something a bit neater" I say pointing out different flaws in almost all of his designs. 

"You do realize these are just the rough drafts?" he says rubbing his temples after going through and changing things as I give him one critique after the other. "Yes but I thought your work would look a bit better than this compared to what you've shown me before"I state pointing out a few more things to change. "Okay I need a break" he says standing up and stretching before laying down on the couch and pulling one of the blankets over him. 

"What are you doing? We've only been working for two hours" I say confused as to why he would need a break this early. "Exactly, it's been two hours and I'm tired, just give me like fifteen minutes and I'll start cleaning up the designs" he says and turns over giving his back to me and settling in to take a power nap. I roll my eyes at him and just decide to just go back and continue what I had been working on before I started checking up on his designs. 

Getting lost in work I notice that it's been almost thirty minutes instead of the promised fifteen and try to call him over to get back to work. "Jungkook wake up" I say but it seems to have no effect on him so I groan and get up and walk towards where he's laying down and find him laying on his back, sound asleep. With the position he's reclined in I'm given a full view of his face, leaving me a chance to study his features for a second. 

He really is attractive, I can't deny that but that cocky attitude he has on him turns me off. His flirting is a different story though, feeling myself starting to blush again. I kneel next to the couch to see if he's really sleeping but it really does seem like he's still passed out. I brush the bit of hair that has fallen into his face back a bit and lean towards him a little bit. "You're really sleeping right?" I say and still he lays still, not making a sound and an unknown force pushes me closer to him and I end up placing a light kiss on his lips. 

I pull back and cover my lips with a hand after realizing what I've done and quickly but quietly pack up my things and leave. I open the door and am met with the sight of Yuna coming down to hallway back towards the studio. "Oh y/n you're still here. Is everything okay?" she says clearly noticing the almost panicked look on my face and blush slowly creeping up on my cheeks. "Yes never better. Please tell Jungkook I'm going home when he wakes up" I say and without another word run down the hall and out the onto the street making my way towards my apartment as quickly as humanly possible.  

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[starrzhao]

downpour | s.qr

pairing ricky x gn!reader ( platonic )

genre hurt/comfort

word count 1009

warnings reader struggles with anxiety

a/n wrote this drabble awhile ago because I haven’t been feeling good lately so I try to cope by writing 😍 also this wasn’t proofread so there are bound to be some errors whoops

It felt like the weight of the world fell upon your shoulders. You had been crying and crying for days continuously on end, not being able to catch sleep for a whole week. You had felt so lonely and you felt so cold on your own. And things wouldn’t get any better as it had been raining nonstop for the past few days.

After another long school day, you retreat to sit by the football field to find some peace and alone time. It was raining heavily outside and you figured nobody would bother to be out there in the field at this time.

You sat on the bleachers, swinging your feet, back and forth. Thoughts about just everything flooding your mind. You had been going through a rough time for the past few days and your brain couldn’t do anything else but overthink about everything all at once.

You sighed as you stare into the sky. It was a melancholic view to take in. The rain continued to fall heavily as the clouds filled the sky, painting the sky gray. For once, you wished that you could live without having to be buried in constant worries or fears about the future. Hoping one day, the constant rain and thunder could come to a stop and turn into serene weather.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

You recognized that voice. You turn to your left it was your best friend, ricky standing right next to you, with an umbrella in his hand as well.

“Oh, I just wanted to be somewhere alone.”

“Can I join you?” You nod and he takes a seat right next to you.

Well, you truly wanted to spend this time alone but you wouldn’t mind your best friend’s presence, it would probably put you at ease more, knowing he’d be here so you wouldn’t have to overthink all alone.

You both sit there for awhile, letting only the sound of the rain accompany you. You didn’t tell ricky about the blues you’ve felt the past few days but he did notice a change in your demeanor. He was your best friend, of course he’d know, he knew you long enough to notice that you’re not okay You didn’t smile or laugh much all week and you had been unusually quiet.

He could tell you weren’t feeling so well but he didn’t want to raise it, knowing that you weren’t the type to easily open up and he thought you wanted to be alone, giving some distance, not knowing how to comfort you.

“Wow the weather really hasn’t been getting any better these past few days.” He mentions. He wondered when he could see the sun again.

“Yeah it seems like it’s not getting better any time soon.” You say.

The rain continued to pour and you both turn quiet for awhile. You sat there overthinking as ricky thought of how he could make you feel better or what to do next. stands up suddenly and you think that he’s probably going home right now, seeing how the rain was not getting any better anyways.

Instead, he turns to you and lets out his hand to you. You tilt your head and furrow one of your eyebrows, confused at his gesture.

“Let’s play in the rain.” He suggests and flashes a cheeky smile at you.

“What?”

“Let’s go run in the field! It’ll be fun.”

“What the hell, no way.”

“Come on!” He lets go of his umbrella and starts running down the bleachers, running through the wet grass like a bird in the wind.

“Ricky! Are you crazy!” You walk down, still gripping onto your umbrella tightly.

“Get in here idiot! You’re going to get sick!”

“Y/N come on join me! It’s so fun I swear, it’s just for one time!” He stands and waves his hands in the air at you.

He runs his fingers through his hair and shakes a little, gesturing you to come while smiling sheepishly. He looked so carefree at the moment. Looking at him, you felt a little bit of envy. You wished you could be like that.

You wanted to stop being chained by your own worries and doubts. Wanting to be in that same exact state of freedom, joy and carefreeness ricky was in.

“Y/N!” He shouts and lets his hand out, inviting you to join him. His eyes wrinkled up and you felt a weight come of your chest as you see his smile. It somehow felt so comforting and welcoming.

So you gave in and threw your umbrella, running to ricky. He takes your hand in his and you both run across the field together.

And you felt like you could finally breathe. Everything felt like it was in slow-motion. All the negative feelings you’ve felt being washed away by the downpour. All you could think of at the moment was about having fun and ricky. It was as if everything you’ve felt awhile ago had just disappeared into thin air. You both were running around the field, laughing like you’ve both gone insane.

At some point, you both stop running and start dancing. With imaginary music playing in the background, you two dance like you’ve never danced before. Just doing about anything, enjoying the company of the rain.

“If I get a flu and my mom gets mad at me I’m telling her it’s all your fault, by the way.”

“Well technically, it’s still yours you made the decision to get here, I just gave you a choice. do not hold me responsible for your bad decisions!” You smack his arm and you break into laughter.

Your eyes finally lit up again. He watched as you giggled and moved so freely and he felt relieved seeing your new state.

The rain slowly stopped and you see the grey clouds begin to clear out. The radiant sun came out once again, beaming over once again as the sky turned to blue once again.

You and ricky, return to the bleachers once again, tired from all that running and dancing, all that shenanigans in the rain.

You sit down side by side, your arms linked. You lean your head onto his shoulder.Finding peace with him simply being by your side.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“No matter what I’ll always be your best friend. I just want you to know that you’re not alone. Do not be afraid to tell me when you need someone by your side, especially when it rains.”

“I love you, I hope you know that.” He says as he leans onto your head. He takes your hand in his and despite running around the cold rainy weather just an hour ago, his hand felt warm.

“I love you too, ricky.”

[eri-pl]

I read the Book of Lost Tales 1 (-ish): general remarks + Ainulindale Music of the Ainur

First: I'm skipping the foreword and the Cottage of Lost Play, because it's boring and I'm in somewhat low-dopamine mode now. Sorry. Also, I will be skipping the frame story, for the same reason. Maybe I will do a reread eventually and do those parts too.

Second: Buying Tolkien books in English has as always turned out to be a good idea. Also, as for now I only have part 1, because part 2 is to be shipped arounf the New Year.

So, the proper part of this post:

The Music of the Ainur (under the cut because it's long and I do fangirl a lot)

First, we have a frame story, which…. has Rúmil and mentions Tevildo, the prince of cats. I skipped most of the rest. TLDR: we have Eriol, the isekai-ed (long before this was a word) guy, asking who are the Valar etc etc and Rúmil telling him that. Somewhat. But he starts with

Very mighty are the things that you ask, and their true answer delves beyond the uttermost confines of the waters of time, whither even the sight of Rúmil the aged of the Noldoli may not see.

[a pause for me squeeing on my thoughts I maybe should have done this reading at a different time but I got the book now so you'll have to bear with the breaks]

I love this sentence. It's so beautifully worded and I really appreciate Rúmil showing some humility and awareness of the limits of his knowledge here and generally

BTW is "delve" even a valid word here? It means "to search", so I guess it's some really poetic way to say "would have to be sought"?

I'm a bit confused here.

So yea, Rúmil and his, appropriately prefixed, answer. And I will not make a long digressions that you aren't interested in— Rúmil here, regardless of his prefixing, is giving some very good answers. In my opinion. So, Eriol asks what's the Music of the Ainur. Aaaand we get a chapter (sub-chapter?) break. And commentary. And then the text continues…

…with a remark from Christopher Tolkien that Ilúvatar was in the earliest writings Ilu. And it's one of the quite few, I think, big changes made in the Ainulindale part.

So, about the Music

things that have not been heard among the Men, and the Elves speak seldom of them ; yet did Manwë Súlimo Lord of Elves and Men, whisper them to the fathers of my father in the deeps of time.

The said fathers correspond, from what I understand, more or less to Ingwë in the modern version. So… not only this is not discussed among the Elves,but even Manwë relays it in a whisper and to his favorite Elf. Wow. Cool.

Of course, I can think of one Elf who would probably discuss it at some point. We all can. Let's take a break now to think about Finrod for a while and how much we like him. … Done? OK, we can continue.

Ilúvatar sang the Ainur into being and then made them dwellings in the void and taught them many things and greatest of them was music.

OK. So. Either a) Ingwë extrapolated that based on some vague remarks of Manwë and heavily anthropomorphicized (sp?) the Ainur or a') translation error or b) the Ainur are much more like Men and Elves then they seem in the Silmarillion.

Predictably, different people will prefer different versions here.

And Ilúvatar shows them the "mighty theme" which… is basically a complete story? With only adornments left to be added? What? He basically gives an outline to the Ainur.

This is one of the places where I very much prefer the Silmarillion version. Sorry, I lowkey hate this. I mean, yes, Ilúvarar would know the story… but showing it wholesale to the Ainur… and at the same time them being so humanlike? sorry, Professor, you lost me there.

I much prefer the free-willed, not-knowing-so-much (except Námo but not fully) Ainur than this weird mix.

Or are we to assume that this outline went to trash when Melkor did his thing? But this makes Ilúvatar look stupid. Sorry.

Now, instead of "voices like" we have the outright "the harpists, the flautists etc" which suggests very much the same image, just more anthropomorphicized, and sounds better to me.

I love the language here!!!

"…that ye exercize your minds and powers in adorning the theme to your own thoughts and devising"

"and a sound arose of mighty melodies changing and interchanging, mingling and dissolving among the thunder of harmonies" (also: "mingling" seems to be one of Tolkien's favorite words)

And not only language, the ideas too:

and the echo of the Music, and the echo of the echoes of Music which flowed even into the dark and empty spaces far off

This is such a powerful image. Edit: oh. I got an idea. it's about sub-creation! The echoes are fiction (the echo of echo are fanfiction? 🤣) and here we see Tolkien expressing the same "I wish it all was at least a little real" feeling well all know. The empty spaces are secondary worlds.

And we have a mention of the Second Music. So.

Then shall Ilúvatar's mightiest themes be played aright; for then the Ainur and Men will know his mind and heart as well as may be, and all his intent.

So. This is so much to unpack here. The lack of pronoun capitalisation feels odd to me. But. But

So the Ainur do not know so much at this point — I knew this was the case! Yes, fact confirmed! Ha!

Not sure why, but the phrase 'as well as may be" seems very fitting and is beautiful

What even is "aright"? Apparently it's "right, correctly" but wit a more beautiful word. I love it.

I also love the last part's sentence structure: "x and y [more text] and also z". Is this a more common thing? Or does it just sound beautiful?

OK, speaking of wording, but now funny / wdym?!?: "and it seemed very good [to Ilúvatar]". Either we are before the period when "seemed" implies "but was not", or Tolkien had no such period and it just seemed so to me, or …what? Probably the first option.

Or translation/repetition issues (in-world I mean. By Rúmil.).'

Aaaand yay! The idiot is introduced! And he's called Melko which makes him 10 times funnier.

Speaking of Tolkien's phrases: we are before the development of the "it came into his mind" cliche, because

it came into the heart of Melko to interweave matters of his own imagining that were not fitting to that great theme of Ilúvatar.

Not his mind, but his heart. I prefer the later version, where the heart is usually for good ideas. Also, we get no mentions as to why he decided to start improvising, which makes him seem somewhat less of a jerk… He's my fav, but I really like the Silmarillion's "because he wanted to seem more important" addition.

Because in this version it somewhat sounds like he rebeled against the predestination and stuff like that and… that is more like William Blake and sympathetic than just a primadonna mentality.

And honestly? I feel like the only kind of themes that would inherently clash with the given theme would be the stuff like "look how I'm better than you all" and similar. Or at least derived from such motivations.

I'm a page and half in the Music chapter proper and the post is already so long…

[Melko] fared often alone into the dark places and the voids seeking the Secret Fire that giveth Life and reality […] yet he found it not, for it dwelleth with Ilúvatar , and that he knew not till afterward.

Afterward of what? When did he learn that? I know it's not a "Manwë would tell it to Ingwë and he to Rúmil" kind of fact, but. I want to know. Because this is such a strange way to end this sentence.

Also, the Ainur didn't know… quite a lot, it seems? But later they learned about the Flame Imperishable. Because Manwë told it to Ingwë and so on. I suppose they learned that at the creation of the world? Even though in BoLT it's less … less awesome, for lack of a better wording. But we'll get there later.

Also, "the voids" is such an evocative phrase.

Also also I like the word "dwelleth" but that isn't surprising probably.

Also^3, what's the rule for ending 3rd person verbs in "-th" instead of "-s"? Just whenever you feel like it? Or does it change the meaning somehow (besides making it more archaic)?

Melko's "deep cunning" thoughts that he had not shown even to Ilúvatar. Which… a) does the idiot think Ilúvatar does not know about his dumb ideas? I suppose he does think this. See, that's one of the reasons why I call him "the idiot". Also: mood, a very particular mood. Why can't I read the book as intended. why do you give him character psychology sir. b) Does Rúmil think so too? Or does he just put spotlight on "Melko did not want to share those thoughts" with this phrasing?

We get more of beautiful descriptions (of ugly things ie Melko): "straightway harshness and discordancy rose about him". How can you describe something so crude with such poetic words? ♥

"Discordancy rose" sounds like a plant cultivar, I want this flower!

Edit: so, a sketch of Melko and the discordancy rose 🌹:

So, Melko darkens the Music,

for those thoughts of him came from the outer blackness whither Ilúvatar had not yet turned the light of his face ; and because his sccret thoughts had no kinship with the beauty of Ilúvatar's design

Again, so much to unpack!

We are again bordering on the problem of evil / evil as a standalone thing / are there places without Ilúvatar and melodies that do not come from Him? And that's so deep. That's a question so deep that a big spider lives there. Lived, to be more precise.

It also gives me a vibe of evil as hastiness, of things that would be good (the outer void, creating worlds there etc) if you just waited. I'm not sure, is "evil as overt hastiness into a good thing" my personal trope, or is it something wider?

"his sccret thoughts had no kinship with the beauty…" is such an extremely beautiful way to say that, and yes, I'm sad, but it's so so beautifully said!

Also: oh the whole complex thing of free will and all that, I feel like there are whole essays to be written just about this short fragment. But yea. Yea he can do that. Shouldn't. People can do that. Shouldn't. But yea. Let's have a break for me being sad now.

Yet sat Ilúvatar and hearkened till the music reached a depth of gloom and ugliness unimaginable ; then did he smile sadly

A very strong parenting mood XD but I have much less patience (obv).

I like it much more than the Silm, when it's just "smiled" and it's quite confusing.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we get to the introduction of the Third Theme, and Ilúvatar wept, literally wept. I do get why this is not in the Silm (doesn't fit the tone). I can't make my mind about which one I prefer.

BTW Tolkien loves to add "behold" freely amid the text. Like some people add salt into their food.

So, the themes. Third Theme and Melko's stuff:

these were utterly at variance. One was great and deep and beautiful , but it was mingled with unquenchable sorrow, while the other was now grown to unity and a system of its own, but was loud and vain and arrogant, braying triumphantly against the other as thought to drown it, yet ever, as it essayed to clash most fearsomly, finding itself but in some manner supplementing or harminizing with its rival.

…so. the length of this sentence is still urpassed by its beauty, and this, in turn, by the beauty of its meaning. But this is a long sentence anyway.

"Mingled with unquenchable sorrow" is so evocative.

We get a past (perfect?) form "was grown", which… you can do that? Or can you do that only in poetry? Or only if you rule over the English dictionary?

What's "braying"? per Cambrisge Dictionary: "to make the loud noise typical of a donkey". LOL!!!!!! I love it. XD such a perfect diss for Melko. I should check the dictionary more often. 🫏🫏🫏

The language, I love just all of it, the poetry of it, the passive voice of "finding itself" and the "but" added for further humilation :)

Also also, excuse me, music theory, but the only way I can think of a melody having the effect of "whatever the other melody does, it supplements the first" is the first melody being very deeply chromatic. (If "mingled with unquenchable sorrow" was not enough of a hint about it being chromatic).

"At the midmost of this echoing struggle" — I love the language of this book!!! Oh wait it gets better— "whereat the halls of Ilúvatar shook and a tremor run through the dark places" —!!!

…and like in the Silm, we get The Chord.

[deep breath and a break because of how awesome it all was]

Instead of the vision + an explicit creation, here Ilúvatar just says "BTW I made it as you were singing", which is kind of meh, and I much prefer the Silmarillion version. And

Maybe I shall love those things that come out of my song even as I love the Ainur who are of my thought, and maybe more.

I don't like the teasing tone of it but otherwise— !

Anyway we do get the reprimand of Melko, just like in the Silm, but with some more poetic language:

for lo! through Melko have terror as fire, and sorrow like dark waters, wrath like thunder, and evil as far from my light as the depths of the uttermost of the dark places come into the design […] has pain and misery been made in the clash of overwhelming musics;[… lots of cool words I won't type…] and death without hope.

And then it gets into a part which I don't feel like I 100% understand so no analysis here.

Also, another English word that's new to me: "redoundeth". Wiktionary to the rescue. It's basically "contributes" but also "echoes". I love it!!! Professor you are such agenius sir when one word means two things but they both make sense there… I love it. also, to some back, to result from something, also it's related to "redundancy".

Oh. Wait. redundancy. As in "it adds to it even though it doesn't need adding"… that's so genius. Because this is the word about how all Melko's junk will in the end contribute to make the whole desing better. That's just. Sir.

Wow.

The Ainur are afraid and confused. Another very human reaction. And Melko "was filled with shame and the anger of shame" which is a wonderful and very real way to describe a cerian feeling (narcissistic vibes my beloathed, yes, I know both shame and the anger of shame way too well).

And now in those "dark places" there' s a world. and here Melko gets the talk again, and all the Ainur, and I think this is when they learn where the Imperishable Flame is and where it was.

OK, I'm tired. There's a part of it still left, the analogue od Silm's Valaquenta, but I will finish this post here, and in the next post we'll get the descriptions of the Valar etc.

[atrueneutral]

Writing Update & ‘Writing Interview’

Hello! Instead of providing a snippet this week, I’m going to give you a small update on where I’m at with this latest chapter of ‘Blood in the Wine’.

I’m wrapping up the chapter (maybe today, maybe tomorrow) then will need to edit. The chapter will be deployed soon so keep an eye out! We’re looking at around 7k - 8k words.

A bright side for the story is I’ll be doing more writing now that I’ve accomplished what I wanted to in FFXIV (for the time being).

Below the cut are my responses to the writing interview going around - thanks @pricemarshfield for the tag! ❤️

When did you start writing? I believe I started writing when I was the tender age of twelve years old. I decided to write some Kagome x InuYasha fics that are frozen in time on FF.net. Aside from the grammatical errors, the predictable plot and the out-of-character characterizations, I think the worst thing about them is that they weren’t Sesshomaru x Kagome.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? I’m continually embarrassed to say I don’t read books anymore. Writing has given me the drive to crack more books open, but writing has also given me less time to read amongst work and the occasional video game session. Were I to read, I enjoy reading classical horror and supernatural tales here and there, outside of my love for mythology and classical romance.

I think if I write anything, it needs to have an angle of romance - even if it involved eldritch beings.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? Ohhh, I have no idea… I just write how I write. 🤷‍♀️

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? I normally write at my desktop computer, where my husband puts up with all of the clacking I do at my keyboard.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse? For me it’s listening to music and playing scenes out in my head. Certain songs with certain scenes I’ve concocted gear me up like nothing else to the point of wanting to scream.

The good kind of scream.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I like dealing with people who make poor decisions and watching the consequences unfold. I like themes of temptation. I like the classic good vs evil but with shades of gray on both sides. I like threading in the concept of fate.

No, they don’t surprise me. 

What is your reason for writing?

My reason for writing was because a story formed and put a theoretical gun against the head it was in; I had to realize it.

Now I write because another story has a gun to my head, and it’s fun being held hostage by my own plots. 

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I deeply cherish the comments that walk me through initial reaction to scenes (especially plot twists!) and how the writing affected the reader emotionally. I salivate over when readers theorize about what’s to come next or start to piece together elements of the plot.

It’s also been wonderful to hear that people think my writing is immersive! 

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

“That Neutral gal is super cool and mysterious and kind of funny at times.” I’m kidding! I’ll mirror what other writers have said in saying that I hope readers view me as approachable! I’m trying to stay what I view as being a healthy-arm’s-length-apart from fandom spaces, but it’s not my intent to discourage people from interacting with me! Interaction was the whole reason for making this writing blog. I’ve enjoyed all of the asks, the prompts, and the interactions I’ve had thus far!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Believable dialogue and character interactions?

How do you feel about your own writing?

I like it, but then I read other people’s writing and go, “Wow, Neutral! You effing wish you could write like this. Your writing reads like hot garbage in comparison.”

So many talented people in the fandom stratosphere!

It’s a fun little see-saw of turmoil.

(No Pressure Tagging @theemptyislost ❤️ I believe everyone else I would have tagged has already been tagged!)

[themoodyestj]

wow, so you don't actually care about victims of abuse, that's pretty much clear, judging by the way you treated that anon. they shared their experience, told you about their pain and you just brushed them off, acused them of making shit up and even called them enabler of abuse! i bet your answer would have been so different if they agreed with you at the end, you would have been so sweet and comprehensive, but that wasn't the case, so you called them delusional. they weren't even rude about it, and you treated them like garbage. look asshole, there's no such thing as abuse cliches or a mold or prejudices, just decades of research and observation of the human behavior. a narcissist won't forbid you from stuff, they manipulate you to do whatever they wan't, and you would be convinced that it was your own idea, that's why is so hard to even realize you're being abused. they systematically destroy you, bit by bit untill you feel like you're nothing. anon was right in pointing out, that Jensen doesn't look like a destroyed person. he has a beautiful and full life.

Oh my, did I hurt someone's feelings? Oh Lord, I really didn't want to. I know when Anons send me these asks they always come with their best intent at heart, and no agendas at all. They're just trying to be constructive, right? Those beautiful, smart, educated people. I now have seen the error of my ways, and I apologize. Clearly, I’m the problem here. How dare I not roll out the red carpet for someone who came into my space, used their abuse as a weapon to invalidate everyone else’s, and tried to play abuse gatekeeper? That was so insensitive of me.

It's clear as day their experience trump's everyone else's, so we should all fall on our knees into their emotional manipulation and just exclaim "Look at their bleeding heart! The truth must be with them! If they say Jensen isn't being abused, and that I wasn't abused, then they clearly know, because they were the only true victims."

I deeply regret not responding with flowers and a heartfelt poem about their bravery while they confidently declared that a man playing golf simply couldn’t be abused. I should have applauded their groundbreaking discovery that if someone isn’t actively sobbing on the floor, they must be totally fine. And you're right, oh my God, you are so much smarter than me. There are years of observation. I'll ignore that most of these "years" were heavily influenced by ancient gender roles and biases, for your own benefit. I'll also turn a blind eye to societal evolution, and how things, like crime and abuse, are shaped by the society and its own evolution, so they change. I'll ignore these things because you're so right, that even when you're a dumb fuck, you're right. I wouldn't want to hurt your already bleeding heart.

And you know what? You’re also right about narcissists. They never forbid things, they just manipulate people into thinking their misery was their own idea. Gosh, I wonder if there’s a term for what happens when someone is constantly belittled, gaslit, and stripped of their agency while being made to believe everything is their fault. Oh wait... that’s literally what I said. Oops. My bad.

But no, please, continue educating me with your extensive research (read: whatever you skimmed off a psychology TikTok). I just love when people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about act like authorities on a subject they don’t actually understand. It’s so inspiring. Oh and lastly, I'm sorry that no matter how many times you come into my inbox with your bleeding heart, I still don't fall for your emotional manipulation. That's an abuser's tactic, you know? I'm sorry that it's obvious that, although you wrote a great deal, your intentions came out very clear at the end. You just wanted to defend your fave. You can't stand that he may not be living in the way you decided he should. Gotta show these people their place, right?

God, sounds a lot like narcissism, doesn't it?