#wow that was really long i'm so sorry
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200 Followers Celebratory CC Free Sim Dump!!
It's honestly so amazing to me that somehow I made it to 200 followers! You're all so sweet and I appreciate everyone that's taken the time to interact with my posts and I promise I have new stuff in the works that'll be released soon 😉
So, I did this poll to see what everyone would want and it was so fun to hear from so many people thank you everyone who voted! Sim dump was the clear winner!!
Anyway, included are eight cc free young adult sims! They all have set skills and careers because I think it's fun but you can do whatever you want with them as long as you don't change skintones (bonus information about each below the cut as a "guide" because I like coming up with their characters)! I also had too much fun picking out likes and dislikes so... There are a lot 😬
P.S. If in the library it shows up as having cc I swear there isn't any I don't know why my game likes to mark it as having cc even when there isn't I'm sorry for any confusion.
Feel free to tag me if you ever use them and I hope you enjoy!! 😁😁
Download Link [Google Drive]
[Sim info below cut!!]
Parker Daley - Friend of the World, Erratic, Creative, Vegetarian - Bubbly and eccentric Parker is the life of any party! A fashion designer who loves anything "stylish" (which is just anything she likes, pretty much). Parker is completely unpredictable which makes her an interesting companion. A city girl all the way.
Lilah Dumas - Computer Whiz, Cheerful, Geek, Lazy Lilah is a very "you only live once" kind of person. She doesn't spend too much time dwelling on just about anything, and will drop whatever doesn't bring her joy in a heartbeat. As such she was determined to make one of her hobbies into a career, and amassed a decent following for herself as a streamer.
Raj Pandey - Fabulously Wealthy, Perfectionist, Mean, Self-Assured Raj grew up always knowing he'd join the family business, and the atmosphere of wealth and status, as well as the most expensive education obtainable, has turned him into a stuck up character. He appreciates a well crafted insult. In fact, he's not averse to the occasional argument debate (as long as he wins). Despite these traits he's managed to get himself adopted into a group of friends who, though often annoy him, have become an important part of his life.
Sonny Oswald - Friend of the Animals, Socially Awkward, Animal Enthusiast, Neat Sonny is a sweetheart and I love him. Awkward and shy, he's more comfortable around farm animals and plants than he is around people. Only is closest friends get to see how kind and fun he can be. One day he'll move out to the countryside and start is own farm, but for now he's working his way through the gardening career (baby steps, right?).
Lucas Esparza - Nerd Brain, Noncommittal, Bookworm, Adventurous Lucas's two goals in life are to gain infinite amounts of knowledge for himself and leave a trail of broken hearts as he travels the world to get said knowledge. That makes it sound like he's a horrible person which is because... Well he is, but who doesn't need a villain in their game? I'm sure he has his good qualities, however, I honestly love him for being the absolute handful he is.
Keira McDaniel - Painter Extraordinaire, Gloomy, Maker, Music Lover A bit of a "tortured artist" character who enjoys spending hours painting/crafting in her studio with music playing constantly, blocking out the rest of the world. Keira is very sensitive, and feels the emotional weight of everything around her very intensely, channeling it into her art.
Joslyn Lancaster - Country Caretaker, Loves the Outdoors, Athletic, Glutton Joslyn is a very meat and potatoes kind of gal. She lives for the simple things in life, working the ranch, riding horses, and a good meal. It's never occurred to her that there might be more to life, and the world, outside of the ranch, because what more could she need?
Gabrielle "Gabby" Moran - Leader of the Pack, Insider, Snob, Cat Lover Gabby is a fine and polished young woman, growing up in a life of luxury, and the champion English rider in town. She's very aware that she is the best at something, and it's boosted her confidence (*cough* ego) to astronomic levels. Quite the gossip, she loves to be out with friends, gossiping about the latest scandal, but when not there she's tending to her horse and preparing for her next competition. Despite the facade of the popular mean girl she puts up, Gabby cares very deeply about horses and her career, and takes it very seriously. She also loves spending time with the barn cats when they're around.
#sorry this took so long it feels like forever!!#I worked on these sims for so long#that now I'm attached to them!!#okay rambling incoming#the first four I imagine as being a group of friends#because I made them first I don't know#your mind wanders in CAS it can't be helped!#anyway they all had way better compatibility then I expected I definitely didn't think they'd get along with Raj so I was so glad#that they did!#Lucas and Keira I think are just off on their own#and if you saw my post on Joslyn and Gabby you know the concept for them already 😆#I didn't know what to do for my last two sims#but then the trailer for the new ep dropped and I was like#“Ah yes... That's what I'll do”#so they're based off of the English and Western riding styles#and give the vibes of a hallmark movie love that for them#wow that was really long i'm so sorry#thanks so much for reading and hope you enjoy the sims!!#😁😁#sims#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#sim dump#sim download#sims 4 download#sims 4 dump#ts4#ts4 download#ts4 screenshots#follower gift
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Just popping in to say i LOVE UR ART SO MUCH WAUGH!!!! Its soooooooo exoressive and u get across emotion and movement SO WELL!! I love ...littlr apple ...so much.....u imbue this donkey with Such Chaos
I love this little chaos creature, we should all forfeit our mortal possessions to her.
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#<- Maybe? I do wanna start a more serious art tag and i did push myself harder than I normally do on this one. Hm.#MDZS#wei wuxian#little apple#Can you tell I've been practicing how to do hatching (Its soooo easy to go overboard#Thank you tumblr user seaslugbananabread (Iove the name (fellow sea creature and bananabread enjoyer)) this was a very sweet message#so sorry its been marinating in my ask box for so long; I wanted to have a good chunk of time to *Really* try and draw lil apple#I hope this makes up for it! I really mean It when I say messages like this really make my week!#It means a lot that people like my comic and can get what's going on in my little doodles B'*)#Esp the little apple enjoyers!! Let's go equine lovers!!!#If people are on board this early on when im really still just figuring out how to hold a pen properly then wow#Idk how to process it tbh!#(To anyone else who sent a message: *YES* I'm working on a doodle for you too; thanks for your patience!)
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World's Greatest Grandma 🏆
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#I'm back!#I missed this place so much#sorry I've been gone for so long#I've been really busy the past year#so have this drawing of scott I did last night as a little treat#wow I missed drawing him 🥺#marvel fanart#mcu#scott lang#fanart#digital art#ant man
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grabbing their hair to make them bare their throat to you for wings possibly
On AO3 here Prompt Gale's been recaptured by Martin, who's not happy his pet escaped him. Hurt, absolutely no comfort (yet). Set before the other Wings whump I have.
He wasn’t surprised, not really. He knew John couldn’t keep him safe. Hoped? Yeah, he’d hoped. But that was the thing about hope, Gale thought, it was blind, based off nothing but some nice words and a smile. He knew better. He did. And yet… He’d fallen for it. Fallen for John. Fallen for the hope he offered, the safety of his words, the warmth of his hands. And look where it’d gotten him.
“Nice try, Bluebird,” Martin’s voice, cruel and cold, amused, and Gale flinched away from it, “thought you could fly the roost, huh? Well, guess we’re gonna have to do something about that delusion,” Martin continued, Gale shrinking in on himself, his bound wings trembling, “someone took good care of you, at least, huh, pet?” he said, and though it was phrased as a question, Gale knew better than to answer. Even if he could answer. He had been drugged, bound and gagged, a blindfold tied too tight around his eyes, before being thrown in the back of a truck. Gale flinched when he felt a hot, large hand land on his wings— his newly grown, healthy feathers— and bit down hard into his gag. Martin made an unimpressed noise as he stroked the feathers and Gale curled tighter in on himself, bracing himself.
“Gotta clip these pretty wings, huh?” Martin asked nobody in particular, grabbing a handful of the brilliant blue feathers and ripping them out of Gale’s sensitive wing. The gag helped muffle the scream, but Martin still heard, a wicked grin splitting his face as he held the handful of sapphire up, as if trying to get a better look at them. Gale sobbed around the ball of fabric and rope in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut under the blindfold. He refused to think about John, refused to send out a silent plea for the human to find him. He wouldn’t. That would just welcome hope in, and he couldn’t handle more of that. Couldn’t handle more false words, broken promises, deceitfully soft touches. Because at the end of the day, Martin was right. Gale was a pet. Something to be owned. Contained. Used.
“Get him out of here,” Martin barked at someone, ignoring Gale’s whimpers and sobs, the way the gag felt like it was choking him, his whole body trembling in terror and pain. Three sets of hands grabbed at him and he tried to scream, tried to thrash and struggle, but Martin grabbed another handful of his carefully regrown and kept feathers and Gale stilled, chest heaving.
“You’re gonna wanna be a good lil’ pet for me right now, bluebird,” Martin whispered into Gale’s ear and Gale was no stranger to the dangerous, knife-sharp tone. He tried to nod, to show he understood, and relief flooded him when Martin released his terrible hold on his wing. The sets of hands returned, grabbing at him and hauling his body— still and pliant, the only movement, his ribs expanding and contracting with his harsh, panicked breaths— away. He was almost relieved when he was dropped onto something dangerously soft, but then he felt it move, rolling under him, and he sobbed again. The three men moving him were muttering to each other, laughing and joking, but Gale’s ears were ringing too loud for him to understand anything they said. He didn’t know where he was being taken and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
The cart he was on stopped suddenly and Gale’s body jolted, still bound tightly with his arms and ankles behind his back, tucked under his equally tightly bound wings. One of the men said something, the others both making noises in response, and then Gale was being lifted as if he weighed nothing. Which, he supposed, had to be true, John had constantly been trying to get him to put on weight— no, Gale jerked his wrist in the ropes, feeling the burn on the open sores, making himself refocus, no, he wouldn’t think about John. He couldn’t think about John. He was already chipped, cracks spreading, but thinking about John? That would splinter him. Martin would enjoy that far too much.
“I dunno, man, maybe just the legs?” The words punched through the fog in his brain as he was dropped, carelessly, onto the ground. Gale felt the concrete scrape along his clothed belly and ribs, felt his bones protest the fall, felt the cracks in his just-recently-healed ribs.
“It can’t do much with its wings and arms bound, I think the legs’ll be fine,” another one said. Gale cringed and whimpered, the stark reminder that Martin and all his men viewed him as an object, as property, in the man’s words.
“Shut it,” that was the first one again, his steel-toed boot connecting painfully with Gale’s hip. Gale bit down on the gag, stifling the yelp that would have gotten him in more trouble.
“Ya, free its legs,” the third piped up after a moment, the sound of a knife being freed from a sheath following his words. Gale tried to hold still when a knee landed on his side, digging in painfully, a hand grabbing the rope holding his ankles to his hands. When it gave to the sharp blade, his legs instantly swinging to sit straight, knees and feet smacking into the hard, cold, unforgiving concrete, Gale wanted to sob. As much as it hurt to whack his legs on the floor, the instant rush of blood returning to his limbs felt infinitely better. The knee in his side shifted, the owner sitting heavy on his legs, and the knife sawing at the rope wrapped multiple times around his lower legs, binding them together. When it gave, Gale turned his face into the floor, stifling his relieved groan— though it morphed into a barely surprised yelp of pain when the knife sliced into his leg.
“Oops,” the second voice said, though he didn’t sound upset or apologetic at all. And then the weight was off his legs, a knife returned to it’s home, and the three steps of footsteps started to retreat. Gale tuned them out the moment he knew they were leaving, waiting till the door slammed shut, lock clicking, before he dared to move. The concrete had leeched what little body heat he’d had before, and he shivered as he struggled into a seated position. For the moment, they’d left his clothes— though he was sure Martin would come for those— and Gale was grateful for the small amount of warmth the thin shirt and threadbare jeans provided. He shifted himself backwards until he felt the wall against his sore wings, letting himself lean against it. His ribs hurt, his jaw hurt, his eyes hurt, and his knees and feet and ankles were starting to hurt. He could feel blood along his inner calf, the cut the man had given him after freeing his legs, as if to remind Gale he was property.
As if Gale didn’t remember well enough already.
He leaned his head back against the wall, wishing that they’d at least removed his gag, teeth clenching the soggy fabric to keep it from slipping too far back in his mouth. But, he supposed, he was being punished. It wouldn’t be a punishment if he weren’t miserable, would it? The fact they’d undone his legs was already a small blessing. So, Gale sat there, jaw clenched, leaning against the wall, clearing his mind of anything, retreating into the small place within himself that he’d hoped to never go to again.
Hope.
There is was again.
He’d thought he’d rid himself of it years ago, then John had come crashing in— literally, although it was Curt who crashed through the door, the sentiment still stood, in Gale’s mind, anyways— and reignited that spark. It had roared too big, too fast, too hot, while he’d been with John. Now he was getting burnt and he knew he had no one to blame but himself.
His shoulders were aching, his arms long since gone numb, and Gale let himself fall sideways, letting his shoulder take the impact, feeling the joint scrape against itself before popping out of the socket. A dislocated shoulder, while maybe painful, was the least of his concerns. Gale knew Martin had much, much worse in mind. How many times had he spouted colourful threats when Gale hadn’t even been thinking about escape? Well, now he hadn’t just thought about it, he had done it, but he’d only made Martin mad, only given him a reason to carry out all those horrible things. Martin would. Happily. Gale had no doubt. John had promised. He’d promised and assured and reassured Gale. Martin would never find him, never catch him, never torture him.
It had been a lie.
The driver had said something about having to pay someone, the person who’d turned Gale in, how someone had tried to skim something off the top but been caught. How whoever had called him had had the sense to count their payment and how he’d had nearly gotten a bullet for their hard work, all because the other had tried to steal. How he’d actually been stealing from Martin. How he was going to report his partner for that.
It had been around that point that Gale finally realized he wasn’t alone in the back of that van. That there was someone else, though he didn’t sound tied up. He sounded like he’d had the shit beat out of him to the point he couldn’t move, and therefore wasn’t worth wasting rope on.
That must be where Martin was, then, Gale thought, trying to distract himself from the focal point of the memory. If he thought about the other man sent to retrieve him, and the punishment he must be receiving, Gale didn’t have to think about how he was sold out, how someone had told Martin where to find him in exchange for a good chunk of change. Gale didn’t know how much the information sold for, but he knew Martin, and he knew how obsessed Martin was with him. It didn’t go cheap.
Gale shook his head, trying to refocus on the thief, wondering how Martin would punish him. If Martin would kill him in the end. Maybe that would get enough of Martin’s rage out that by the time he came to Gale, he’d be even the slightest bit merciful. Maybe Martin would drag the would-be thief's punishment out so long he’d wear himself out, wear his anger down to a dull arrowhead, only capable of bruising his ribs, not puncturing through his body, dragging blood and organ with it.
That… felt unlikely. Gale knew he was, and would remain, the main focus of Martin’s anger. After all, he wouldn’t have had to get his men to go pay a man for information about Gale if Gale hadn’t run away in the first place. No, this was, at its core, Gale’s fault.
And Gale knew would pay Martin back.
Maybe not in money, but definitely in blood.
Gale turned his head into the concrete, a muffled sob forcing its way out of the gag, as he curled in on himself, knees to his chest, despite the ache that set off through his hips. He was used to going to sleep in pain, though it had been a few months since he’d had to. The skill didn’t seem to have left him, though, Gale thought thankfully, as he felt sleep pull at his consciousness. He let it take him.
Ever attuned to his surroundings, Gale burst awake out of a deep sleep when he heard the clicking of a lock, the creaking of a door. He forced himself to sit up— though it was hard, his ribs ached and his bound hands were useless— and leaned against the wall, drawing his legs to his chest to make himself look small. He didn’t know who was there, only that someone was.
“Have a nice nap, bluebird?” Martin asked, voice deceptively soft. Gale barely kept from flinching. “Ya. Ya, you did, didn’t you?” Martin continued, uncaring about the lack of response from his captive prize, “I had other matters to attend, bluebird, but I���m here now. Do you know why I’m here now?” Martin asked and Gale heard his footsteps halt in front of him, could smell him as he bent over, his hot, acrid breath brushing along Gale’s face. He tried not to react, but he flinched, shoulders pulling up to his ears.
“Boss,” a new voice said from the doorway and Gale heard the clicking of a cart being pushed along the hall, stopping and then starting again, clanging as it went through the door frame. Gale stiffened at the sound. He knew that cart. Knew it alarmingly well.
“Leave it and go,” Martin barked, straightening, likely to look at all his toys and tools. Gale took a deep, shuddering breath, even if the gag made it hard. He was grateful for the breathe a moment later when Martin’s hand grabbed his dislocated shoulder, jerking him to his feet, uncaring for the cry of pain the harsh grip forced out of him. He heard the distinct swish of a knife being unsheathed and he clenched his jaw, unsure what Martin planned for him.
The cold metal bit into his cheek, inches from the edge of his mouth, dragging up, parallel to the curve of his jaw, and Gale sucked in air through his nose, biting down hard on the gag, his hands twitching and twisting uselessly in their bindings behind his back. His wings strained at the chains holding them to his body and he knew there were tears in his eyes once again— he’d thought he’d run out— when the knife finally eased out of his skin, tracing along his oh-too-prominent cheekbone, before slicing the blindfold off. It fell away and Gale screwed his eyes shut against the sudden, blinding light. Martin just laughed, a humourless, harsh noise that set shivers down Gale’s spine.
“Well, lemme see those pretty blues,” Martin growled, inches from Gale’s face, his foul breath nearly making Gale gag. Martin’s hand came up to grab Gale’s face, thumb pressing on the fresh cut, and Gale cried out in pain, making Martin laugh again. He reluctantly opened his eyes, knowing that’s what the man wanted, his vision swimming dangerously before Martin’s leering face came into focus.
“I see your escapade didn’t entirely erode your manners,” he hissed. Gale kept his gaze locked on Martin. It was one of his rules, and Gale knew he was in enough trouble already without breaking any more. The older human stepped back, bringing the blade up in a flash, cutting through the rope holding the gag in place and slicing into Gale’s other cheek. This time, when Gale gasped, the gag fell free from his mouth, making an obscene noise when it landed, wet and heavy. Martin smirked, expression flashing angrily, and Gale knew that the other punishment he’d carried out had only wet his thirst for blood.
Gale dropped his chin, breaking eye contact, when Martin raised the knife to his lips, lapping at Gale’s blood on the blade.
“No, no, none of that now, pet,” he snarled, grabbing a handful of Gale’s hair and jerking his head back, making Gale look towards the ceiling, his back arching painfully, throat bared to Martin’s brutality and whims, “you know what I should do to you?” it was a rhetorical question, Gale swallowed thickly, feeling the prick of a blade along his throat, and he tried to look at Martin, though with his head pulled back as it was, that was hard. Biting the inside of his cheek, Gale tried to keep his breathing steady, feeling the slightest increase in pressure, instinct screaming at him to fight back. But he couldn’t. He’d be shot dead before he even landed a blow, if Martin didn’t slice his throat first.
And just like that, the knife was gone and Martin leaned forward, pressing his lips to Gale’s throat, to his jaw, to his lips, and Gale could taste his own blood on them.
“You belong to me.”
#Sky writes#MOTA fic#Wow this got really long#How did I just... kick this out in like 6 hours hello????#ANYWAYS I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG JOEY ILY#Wings au
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Happy Shun Duel Links Day!!! (party popper emoji)
#yugioh arc v#yugioh arc-v#arc-v#shun#yuto#comic#duel links#sorry for the long format but OOH it looks so clean when its all in one line!!!#this almost didn't make it out of my wip jail cells because i spent 30 mins on one of the panels#using references and everything but it just looked super duper odd and it was a waste of time overall#and don't even get me started on the toning (clenches fist) nothing was looking right at one point#but enough about the process i want to talk about the comic itself#part of the motivation for drawing this was seeing all the fluffy shunyoot celebration pics during his roaming event#they ARE cute but also i really really wanted so badly to see shun's visceral reaction that didn't reduce him to mere comedic fodder#(something i'm also guilty of)#so anyway like we always say in ygos we make our own food#wow im rambling anyways the last line of dialogue i had most trouble with but also the most proud of#no shade to the writers of the show (ok maybe like a LITTLE shade) but with this comic i really wanted to reflect the feelings of both#fans of the show as well as fans that left after the ending because that was something i saw floating on jp twitter during the roaming even#and it really made me Think#also can we talk about how in the event yuya was just like hey shun i have a surprise for you!!! haha :]#he was THERE when shun said never appear in front of me ever again did he think shun would just be omg yuto :)#this is why youre my favourite (yuya)#anyways last but not least#the final yuto panel is a healthy mix of guilt + existential dread and doubt about his own existence i hope that was obvious enough
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So this is how Disco Elysium has been going, I am no longer quitting my job every time something bad happens, but I only have 2 points in both health and morale and brother says that's too low but I think it's fine since I can just chug medicine. Which is very cheap. Unlike speed. I would unstoppable if I had the funds to be on speed 24/7.
Anyway, I love Kim and nothing matters to me as much as gaining his love, or at leats his approval. Unfortunately, I keep doing stuff just because I can, so I end up doing things like exhorting money off a guy which Kim didn't like. I'm so sorry, Kim. I also keep getting morale damage because every time inland empire tells warns me against doing something that will remind me of my ex-wife, I do it anyway. So maybe I should restrain myself.
I barely understand the game's mechanics and keep messing up, but that's all well and good because it makes me connect with Harry. I like to introject characters when playing games.
Encyclopedia is my best friend, to no one's surprise.
#website told me long ago to choose sensitive cop on my first run#but my brother said thinker and i listened to him like an idiot#also i saw a lot of people call DE a visual novel but this is more like a point and click#i mean the genres are related but still#hell the way the point system works would make this closer to a dating sim than to a vn#brother didn't understand my point there bc he refuses to learn anything about dating sims#but i told him that even if he can't see it i am sure playing this like a dating sim with my objective of seducing kim#which i'm pretty sure one can't actually do but i sure as hell am going to try#try badly#i did get an achievement for gaining his trust during the autopsy tho so that's something#sorry guys for simping for a cop again#i know this is all besides the main point but wow this game is really dense and it takes a lot from me to process it#but wow the world the characters is all so well contructed so deep#like yeah these sure are people with lives outside me showing up to annoy them#qtzl txt
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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I woke up and shed the happiest tears of my life. I'm so glad I posted that guitar cover, people were overwhelmingly supportive. And I feel like, even people who don't know about Acchan, they thought about him yesterday, that makes my heart so warm wtf 😭😭😭😭
#multiple people told me they are proud of me and that I motivate them#this is all I need tbh. If there's one person that gets inspired by me making a fool of myself. then i'm more than satisfied. 😊#and like wow. I truly feel proud of myself for the first time in my life damn. I know it's not perfect. I've done better things#skillwise. But#I did this all by myself? And I planned everything and executed everything by myself? Like wow business woman. Sorry people for praising#myself so much. It feels kinda good. Ofc I will stay humble#Like I know I have a lotttt of things I have to improve. But I feel so motivated to do so as long as I enjoy it. 🥰🥰🥰🥰#I don't know man. It feels so nice. It's as if Atsushi is really just around as is holding my hand on this uncomfortable but fun journey. I#love you so much. I'm so glad to have met you. 🤍🤍🤍#also still happy birthday clown man. I truly hope he had the bestest happiest bday of all time. He truly deserves it. 😿🤍🤍🤍
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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The theory that Lewis was an Oz is really interesting, but if it turns out to be true I'm going to cry from laughter because I remember hearing about a volume 1 theory that the reason Oz made Jaune the leader of JNPR was because Oz was Jaune from the future and the idea that they were technically wrong but the spirit of the theory could kind of be correct is hysterical.
#Annie babbles about RWBY#rwby spoilers#Wow it's not about the Bees#But oh my god the time paradox is going to hurt my head#The other day I was wondering whether there's a period where young Jaune exists at the same time as old man Jaune#I really have a limited idea of what the discussion in the fandom is about besides the Bees#I'm sorry but I waited so long for this and they completely melted my brain
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Feeling nostalgia rn
Today honestly reminds me of the time in *let me check the date* 2022?!?!?! HOW WAS THAT SO LONG AGO??😭😭
Well, anyway- Today reminds me of the time when I was supposed to be sleeping, during a night of the return to my home from visiting family (it is a very long road, and I'm coming back after this night too-), back then I found @genshinluvr 'Not What You'd Expect' and stayed up to 3/4 am reading the chapters!
Ever since then I was checking up on them everyday, and then started checking them every Sunday, not skipping a week FOR MONTHS (I think I started a bit before 'By The Seashore' until around 'Happily Ever After?'), and reading everything with such a fascination. Later on I also started reading her HSR x Reader, and got super into it too!
So I wanted to share with everyone thede amazing pieces of art, a literal masterpieces that I want to thank greatly for lots of memories and good moments! Seriously, her writing is so professional and good! I'll never forget this work, it's truly one of a kind, thank you for writing it!
PLEASE go check it out!
Time to repeat history with reading and re-reading new things from Aaliah on the night before my return to home! (And being tired the day after-) Love you!
#just felt nostalgic today that's all#But i really do love these works so please if you are in any of those fandoms go check it out#honestly wow#it's been so long since i've read them and i still think nothing can top them#truly a wonderful experience#my everything#Okay let's stop cause it becomes idk moody ig#Once again#These works are great so you won't regret checking it out!#Not what you'd expect has over 600 000 words!#W O W#it honestly blows my mind so much#how much time passed#God bless her#I hope she'll have everything she could ever want!#(I hope it isn't invasive if it is then I'm sorry I just love these works so much)#roseapov#roseatalks#rosea talks#genshin impact#honkai star rail#hsr#genshin#gi#honkai: star rail#hsr x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader
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isa has such a complicated relationship with her childhood and trauma. she'll downplay it at most opportunities, or simply lie to avoid a conversation she doesn't want to have. before the events of bg3, only one person outside of her immediate family knows of her past, and esra is isadora's most trusted confidant. no one in the party discovers even an inkling of her past until act 3.
she isn't an orphan, wasn't horribly abused, didn't have something equally as terrible happen to her as a young child, and when most people she meets have had something truly horrible happen to them, it seems small of her to complain. her parents weren't cruel and provided her a fairly well-off upbringing with a governess to boot. still, when she came of age, she didn't hesitate to flee neverwinter and never return.
her human parents, particularly her mother, were mortified when isa was born with her pink toned skin and stubby horns and the inkling of a tail. her mother outright refused to try for more children for the fear of birthing any more tieflings, and grieved the large family she had always wanted for years when isa was young. her father loved her as much as he could in his stilted way, but he also never brought her into the family's merchant business despite her begging.
isa wasn't locked away, per se, but she had known from a very young age that she'd brought shame to her family, that she was unwanted. she was fed, and educated, and given any and all lessons she wanted, but she had few friends and suffered more scalding from her governess than she did affection from her parents. it was a lonely, guilded cage of a childhood.
#oc tag#ch: isadora#idk just thinking about her and her parental issues tonight#she's got the jackpot of both mummy and daddy issues 😩#also yeah she downplays her trauma#very much 'its not as bad as other peoples so its not as worthy of the pain it caused me' etc etc#she and astarion have some ...... choice discussions about this#because in the face of Him and his Existance as a spawn isa feels like a whining ungrateful child#which is Far from the truth but she struggles to see it - she's always been so good at lying (to others but herself most of all)#she both loathes her parents and longs for the few rose-tinted memories she does have of them from her youth#so when a letter comes in act 3 of bg3 saying her father had fallen ill and died she doesn't really Know What To Feel#isn't sure if she should even Allow herself to grieve after everything#the letter comes from her mother and it's the first time she's seen her handwriting in like 14 years#anyway wow this got long i'm so sorry i'm caught in my feelings tonight
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I'm curious. Is there anything about Dagger that you haven't really gotten the chance to tell a lot of people but would really like to share? Anyways, just wanted to let you know I always enjoy having Dagger on my dashboard and that he's a fun an interesting character :). Hope you have a nice day!
hey!!! thank you so much this made me so happy!! i'm really glad you like him ahhH. i know you sent this a few days back and i'm so sorry it took me so long, ive been dealing with Brain Won't Work disease but i am always happy to talk about him and this really means a lot to me <3
hm okay so some time after things go bad between him and Maelstrom (and the Wraiths) he isolates for a while, in a pretty bad/paranoid state. he's essentially hunted by Wraiths, with a reward for his capture and it ends with him being run into the NCPD instead. he gets arrested but winds up in a psychiatric hospital where he goes to therapy and gets much needed help :) except he hates it, and part of his therapy is watching BD's, harmless ones that allow him to feel all the emotions he's repressed his whole life, like genuine happiness but also grief. Hes very miserable despite having a certain rapport with his therapist. He eventually plots a mass escape, releases all the patients, kills a lot of people in the process, then forces his therapist to watch the XBD's he'd made in the past (where he kills people :)) as revenge. years later, he'll go back to that therapist (abducts him) and seek genuine help so it's actually a nice story :)
#i bring this up specifically because i keep Thinking about actually making his therapist in game#just like. dagger subjects you to psychological torture because hes so against having healthy coping mechanisms and confronting his past#then years later shows up at your window and throws you in his trunk and asks you to help him with his problems#and pretends like everything is just water under the bridge. this is normal dagger logic.#also just. addendum to the above: dagger had been asked to make a few murdery XBD's and they became very popular#though he only ended up making like 3 because he thinks if you want to murder people then you should go out and do it and not be a coward#living vicariously through somebody else#he remains as a sort of celebrity in the underground xbd market#and is still occasionally contacted to make some more#anyway. this has been Storytime with Dagger#i hope you enjoyed. also thank you again dlafjsa i'm really sorry this took so long i really appreciate you though#wow tumblr updates and now i have to actually open HTML to make small text smh.#oc: dagger
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i am no woman or man i'm just a cartoon rabbit, i promise
#my gender is so confusing i wish i could just be a cartoon character i think all my problems would be solved#i'm always thinking am i REALLY a demigirl or am i a cis woman that just wants attention (not true never listen to that)#other times i think am i nonbinary and the fact that i'm so used to being perceived as a woman and trapped in an environment where#i will never be perceived as nonbinary by others. and all of that makes me think that#if i identified as nonbinary it would feel like i was faking it because 'im not really nonbinary'#which is false too you can be whatever you want#and then i also think. demigirl does fit me because i dont fully feel like a girl and i dont fully feel nonbinary i am just kind of#in the middle. which IS what being a demigirl can feel like#but good lord i get so invalidated over and over again by my mother (should have never told her. thats my bad)#that sometimes i feel wow i'm faking everything i'm not real *dissociates* cool#anyway. this is so long if you have somehow read all of this thanks and sorry#as of right now i'm a demigirl i think that's cool. but really i am a cartoon rabbit ok#vent#just vent in the tags but whatever lol
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me: god i feel so horrible i hope i'll be able to sit through classes today
our prof: hi anyway we have to watch this movie about this athlete who is disabled and you will hear stuff like "SEE?? YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU JUST FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS" and "YOU CAN DO IT EVEN IF YOU'RE LITERALLY GONNA DIE SOON YOU JUST GOTTA BE STRONG ENOUGH MENTALLY" throughout the whole movie :)
me:
#like. idk maybe this is an unpopular opinion but i really hate movies like that#like. idk abled people just always say how inspirational they are but all i hear is#“you're not trying hard enough btw :)”#AND MY CLASSMATES HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “wow the plot was interesting”#THE MOVIE WAS ABOUT THE REAL PERSON'S LIFE.#and like. that person said stuff like “haha i feel quite a lot of pressure :) but as long as i can do a thing that i like i'm fine :)”#it's so. idk idk#so sorry if this sounds weird again i'm just in a really bad pain rn#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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