#wow its almost like fictional characters are tools to tell a story and do not need to be “held accountable” for their fictional actions that

[queenoftheferns]

conversations about caitlyn rn are giving me flashbacks to the she-ra fandom iykyk

[fandomlovingfreak]

Glacial Passion (6/?)

Regulus Black/Reader

Rating: SFW, T+, NO LEMON

Trigger Warning: Arranged Marriage

Word Count: 1991

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link

Summary: Glacial, cold, icy… all words that described Regulus Black’s grey eyes. Was there truly no emotion behind those eyes, or did a caring man exist beneath? Could she defrost those glacial eyes?

Disclaimer: Regulus Black (Walburga Black, Orion Black, and Sirius Black) is a character from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Reader or y/n is not owned by Rowling. This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: No real notes today! I hope you enjoy. This story took a “lighter tone” than I expected (at least I hadn’t expected it to, maybe you did ! aha!) but I actually like writing happier stories so I guess my brain just went “cowabummer bro, you’re writing some happy fiction even if you didn’t want to”

Enjoy

***

"Where are we going?" (y/n) asks. 

Regulus felt a bit relieved that (y/n) agreed to come along on his little surprise trip. After last night, which he now realized was a complete mistake, he wasn't sure that his wife would willingly agree to go out in public with him. Especially if he promised some sort of surprise.

She hadn't asked him any questions until they were walking outside, her arm tucked nicely within his. Like it was meant to be there.

"If I told you, it would ruin the surprise." Regulus glances over at his wife. She's got a deep frown on her face. It doesn't exactly mar her beautiful face, but it reminds him a bit too much of his mother's annoyed expression. "Just trust me."

Her little huff of annoyance he decides is enough of a response.

Regulus tries to think of Sirius's advice. Get to know (y/n), even the small things he personally thought were unnecessary to know about a person-- moot things about her. And in turn, be vulnerable enough to share small things back.

"So-- uh, (y/n)."

"Yes?" she looks at him with confusion in her eyes.

"I thought we ought to try and start fresh."

"Fresh?"

"I don't know how else to move from here if we don't have a clean slate."

"I hardly think that would work."

Merlin-- "(y/n)," he stops, halting her as well, "I said I would try to give you what you want. If you shut me down, there's no chance I can."

She gives him a look, "Regulus--"

"Listen," he inhales, collecting himself, "I'm not good at this. You'll have to be patient with me, but I'm willing to figure this out. And I probably won't--" He pauses, "I probably will mess up, a lot. But, please. Give me a chance."

(y/n) studies his face, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I understand that I'm asking you to step outside of your comfort zone, and I appreciate that you're being open with me."

Regulus smiles, muttering, "Sirius was right." Under his breath.

"What?" (y/n) asks.

"Nothing." Regulus takes her hand in his, "this can be like our first date."

(y/n) smiles, amused, "this is silly--"

"I was serious last night that I will try."

"No pretending. You swear you will not pretend with me?"

"That's why I am asking that we start fresh. Give me a chance. I'm not good at this-- relationships. I need time and patience."

She seems to contemplate his words, "Okay. But--"

"Yes?"

(y/n) looks down at her feet for a moment before looking at him again, "If we're going to-- start over, it needs to be slower."

"Slower?" He frowns. What the devil is she talking about, slower?

"I mean," (y/n) purses her lips, "I mean that it has to feel like we're actually starting a new relationship."

Regulus chuckles, "you want me to court you?"

(y/n) smiles, "if those are the words you think describes what we are trying to do, then yes. I think I would like you to court me."

Now he feels silly making the suggestion because he has no idea what courting entails. He can barely flirt!

"I mean-- I can try."

(y/n) grins. He's at a loss for words. Not once in the time he's known her-- been married to her, has he seen her look this happy. Clearly, Sirius's advice was half-decent. For the first time since (y/n) walked down the aisle towards him, he felt something. Hopefully, the beginning of something great between them.

***

"You brought me to— the Eiffel tower?" (Y/n) looks up towards the cloudy sky.

Regulus flushes, "It's not just the Eiffel Tower."

(Y/n) laughs, "it looks like it's just the Eiffel Tower—"

"Just—"Regulus lets out a frustrated sound, "it's more than that." He pulls her towards one of the legs of the metal tower. He supposes that enough muggles are wandering around that they wouldn't notice the disappearance of the young couple. He pulls his wand out of thin air, tapping where the witch at the hotel told him to. The metal of the tower seems to melt and twist, magically revealing an entrance.

"What—"(y/n) grips his hand tighter, "I had no idea."

"Neither did I. It's called Caché à la Vue," Regulus grins, "c'mon, Mrs. Black."

They walk through the entrance, the metal contorting back into shape behind them.

In front of them, a bustling street moves around them. Wizards and Witches bustle around carrying cauldrons, brooms, and colorful bags holding other wizarding tools. A group of young girls rushes by, giggling in their blue Beauxbaton school uniforms. 

"Oh— it feels like Diagon Alley," (y/n) comments as she steps closer to him, her shoulder bumping his arm as she squeezes his hand.

Regulus nods, keeping her close as they walk further into the crowd.

"I didn't expect it to be like this," he glances at (y/n). She's looking around with interest at the many shops and people. 

"Let's go in here," she's pulling him towards a shop that smells of lavender and sage. The shop is small but comforting with its earthy color scheme and almost luminescent glow. 

"Oh wow," (y/n) detaches herself from him for the first time since crossing into Caché à la Vue. Regulus watches her poke around the shop, always keeping a two-foot distance from her.

(y/n) seems to notice the hovering, "Why are you-- being so weird?" She's got an amused smile on her face. Regulus tries to relax, stepping a foot closer.

"I'm just giving you space."

"Don't you want to look too?" (y/n) beckons him closer, reaching for his hand. He obliges his wife, letting her point out small trinkets and items. 

***

The busy street of Caché à la Vue frames Regulus as I sit across from him. Once we had explored nearly every shop on the busy street, Regulus had tugged me towards one of the little Bistros, mumbling about it being a recommendation or something of that sort. I didn't fight his insistence to stop and eat. I hadn't had much for breakfast or lunch back at the hotel.

The afternoon hadn't been awful. In fact, I was enjoying myself more than I expected. It only partly-- honestly, completely, had to do with the sudden changes in how Regulus and I interacted. He suddenly was more sociable and curious about who I was. Which was sort of confusing, but at this moment, I felt more confident in our marriage. That maybe we did have a chance to fall in love, or even just co-exist happily together. If co-existing was all that could come from this, then I wished it to be at least a peaceful union.

Yet, I want to know him as much as he seems to suddenly want to know me, so I ask questions about his childhood and his life. At first, he seems reserved to answer some of my inquiries, making me more curious about the information he is holding back from me. 

"So--" I set down my teacup, "how was it like growing up in Grimmauld Place?"

This seems to be another question he hesitates over as he stares down at his plate for a full thirty seconds, making me nervous.

"Do you want the truth?"

I stiffen. The tone of his voice has me wondering if it was a good question to ask after all, "I would if you don't mind answering."

Regulus takes another moment to collect his thoughts, "I don't really remember much before going to school. My parents are-- you can probably tell they are not the friendliest of people." The understatement of the century. "They weren't good parents, if I'm being honest."

"What do you mean?" I suddenly feel uncomfortable as I continue down this path.

"(y/n), maybe this isn't a conversation for public." Merlin, that only makes me want to press for more information, but the look on his face tells me all I need to know at this moment. He will tell me the truth, but if he's more comfortable doing so behind closed doors, who am I to push him for an answer right now?

"Is it that bad?" I do feel a bit sick over how he's reacting to this question.

He looks down at his hands before looking back at me. His eyes are back to the icy grey I know so well. "It's not great." I have to look away from his eyes. "Do you know I have an older brother?"

"But--" Regulus is the Heir? How could he have--?

"Sirius was disowned when he was sixteen, effectively passing the burden of the House of Black to me."

"Do you still-- are you still in contact with him--Sirius?"

"I am, but privately. Walburga wouldn't approve. She likes to think that Sirius never existed in the first place."

"That's horrible!" I couldn't imagine pretending one's child never existed-- "what did Sirius do?"

"He ran away after refusing-- well refusing to do what we have done, I suppose." I stare at Regulus, shocked.

"I mean, he didn't-- doesn't believe in the Pureblood idealogy."

I pause, reflecting for a moment on his words. Is he saying Sirius ran away when his parents tried to make a match between himself and some Pureblood girl?

"Are you saying he ran away from an arranged marriage?" Regulus nods.

Merlin's-- He was only sixteen? "Your parents, they really tried to-- he was so young--?"

Regulus nods, "Too young, I know." Not that I felt the ages we were are any more acceptable, but sixteen? He would've been in the middle of school! Just a kid!

"I can't blame him for running away--" I let the words slip without thinking, quickly feeling guilty for saying such a thing to the man I'm married to. The man I married for the same reason his brother left the exclusive circle we exist within. "No offense, of course--" 

Instead of looking offended or getting angry, how I expect, Regulus laughs. A real genuine laugh.

"It's not that funny, Regulus!" The words had just slipped out of my mouth before my brain processed my rudeness.

"You are exactly like Sirius. It's freakish." He grins.

"What does that mean?" I'm hopeful he's complimenting me.

Regulus takes my hand in his over the table, "You just remind me of him. Both of you are unapologetically yourselves. I envy that."

I want to tell him I'm nothing like his brother. Sirius was able to leave the life we grew up in. I clearly didn't have the balls to leave. But, I don't want to say that, not when we're getting along so well right now. 

"You can be unapologetically yourself, Regulus."

His smile is small as he looks down at our intertwined fingers, "I'm afraid I can't be. At least not publically."

"I can't exactly be publically myself either, especially now, but maybe in private, yeah? When it's just us."

He gently lifts my hand up to tenderly press a kiss to my knuckles. My breath hitches at the suddenness of his actions, and I feel suddenly warm. "When it's just us." His agreement, the tone of his voice when he agrees-- it's incredibly intimate.

Dumbly, I nod. Regulus smiles, kindness reaching his eyes and thawing out the ice they held earlier.

After a beat of silence, one I could not find words to fill, Regulus speaks. "Was there anything else you wanted to see?"

I find my voice, at last, saying I did not believe so. 

***

I felt delirious with desire watching her squirm after my lips left her knuckles. 

Something about (y/n) fascinated me and made me want her, all of her. I knew she felt the same way, even after the way our relationship started. I could tell by the way her lips parted and her breath hitched that she felt that spark between us. 

That spark gave me some hope that everything was going to turn out just fine.

[cloudycrystalkpop]

a handful of fic recs

so bc im insane, these will be organized by genre instead of group

Science Fiction 

Residue written by @taetaesbaebaepsae

pairing: Monsta X’s Joohoney x fem reader

sub genres: strangers to lovers, Android au

warnings: vanilla smut, just generally heartbreaking, theres a lot of ways to read the subtext and general commentary in this fic, and they just hurt even more

when I tell you I cried and it took me d a y s to get over this fic, f u c k. the world building is done very well, and after reading and taking days to process this reminded me of how much I love sci-fi as a tool for social commentary. this also made me rethink how to use the idea of “humanity” and what exactly defines it. 

~

Goldstorm and Bug Boy written by @masterninjacow

pairing: ATEEZ’s Yunho x fem reader

sub genres: rivals to friends to lovers, mutual pining, superhero au 

warnings: violence, some slight gore, sexual tension 

this is so fucking cute. it reminds me of my childhood reading comics and the small snapshot stories in kids superhero cartoons. Yunho makes for a Spiderman I really like, less the awkward nerdy boy, and more so the gentle kind and playful man. he's easy to imagine as an older, mid twenties Spiderman, and his almost mentoring relationship with reader I really enjoy. 

Horror

I'm yours, you're mine written by @wildernessuntothemselves

pairing: Stray Kid’s Felix x fem reader (x Chan)

sub genres: heavy smut, yandere, psychological horror

warnings: !NON CON!, BDSM, murder, public sex, heavy dom/sub dynamics, abuse (physical and emotional), stalking, cheating, I'm 100% positive there is more I'm forgetting

honestly if you like yandere, or things like Killing Stalking you will probably enjoy this fic. the horror is mostly pretty slowburn until it kinda hits you all at once. I literally knew how it would end from the very beginning yet I STILL found myself gasping with a hand over my mouth when everything is revealed. 

~

Twilight written by @foreveryouaremystar

pairing: ATEEZ’s Mingi x fem reader

sub genres: enemies to lovers, royalty au 

I am stretching this fic by putting it in this category but I do think the first couple of chapters fit 

warnings: abusive family, adult content 

I'm the biggest sucker for Mingi in royalty aus, but this one focuses on him as the son of a conqueror king. theres some subtext I like about what it means for a kingdom to be “taken over”. Mingi isn't written as the usually awkward fluff ball, and it focuses well on his intimidating air and high intelligence. 

~

[17.25] written by @lettersfromaphrodite

pairing: Stray Kid’s Changbin x fem reader

sub genres: vampire au, prostitute au

warnings: BDSM, smut, switch!Changbin 

this is lovely if you are looking for a sexy spooky vibe. I adore this authors work and this is a not so guilty pleasure of mine. 

Slice Of Life

Fall Season written by @star-lemonade

pairing: A.C.E’s Sehyoon x fem reader x Byeongkwan 

sub genres: non idol au, polyamory, LGBT+ 

warnings: smut, threesome

wow this fic makes me soft. especially the relationship dynamic of reader and BK. as a queer person reading Sehyoon and Byeongkwan’s dynamic in this fic contrasted to Sehyoon and readers dynamic really pulled on my heart stings. both our male leads here are bi in this fic and reader has to overcome their own biphobia in their character development and I think its written well. 

~

All In written by @tenelkadjowrites

pairing: ATEEZ’s Mingi x fem reader

sub genres: best friends to lovers, fake marriage au

warnings: drinking, smut, size kink

this is exactly what the summery says, and its perfect. please drink responsibly. if I had any notes for the author it would be: you made me cry with Mingi’s confession at the end and my lawyer will be contacting you-

~ 

[17.59] written by @lettersfromaphrodite

pairing: Stray Kid’s Jeongin x fem reader

sub genres: royal au, strangers to lovers, found family

warnings: emotional abuse, assassin reader

LITTLE BABY PRINCE JEONGIN I would die for him. hes so fucking adorable never speak to me again. this fic is sad as fuck in the beginning but don't worry it has a happy ending

Mis. Series

so I wanna shout out these series from these two authors really quick

@i-see-thevision ‘s Stray Kids Heaven Or Hell

genres: various

summery: each story depicts a SKZ member as either a demon or an angel, and follows their relationship with each of their readers. 

my personal favorites: Jisung and Changbin

~

@lettersfromaphrodite ‘s wereworlf x witch Stray Kids series

genres: soulmates au

summery: each member of SKZ’s pack finds their mate, who each happen to be witches. a coven and sisterhood is formed among the wives of this pack of wolves.

my personal favorites: Felix, Chris, and Jeongin

[linnlarsnhansn]

Julie Andem interview in Swedish newspaper

Svenska dagbladet - The skam creator about the secrets behind the success

Julie Andem’s teen drama Skam is celebrating success from China to Argentina. Now she’s telling SvD exclusively about the working method that laid the foundation for the world success.

Many describe their first meeting with Skam as a chock. What you thought would be an ordinary Norwegian tv show about a bunch of high schoolers was something different from everything you had seen before.

Maybe it can best be described with a feeling that it was real. Like a documentary filmed with a hidden camera on the young main characters’ school yard and parties, in their bedrooms, text conversations and deepest thoughts.

Before Skam there had been a common truth that tv shows about 16 year olds were not cool, cliche and not believable. So how had the script writer and director Julie Andem succeeded with creating something so real?

The question didn’t get an answer, because Julie Andem didn’t want to speak to the press. It was known the she had done thorough interviews with teenagers in preparation for the show and she seemed like a researcher rather than a typical narcissistic director. Since then Skam has become known all over the world, but Julie Andem still keeps herself quite secret. She has thus far said no to Skavlan and during the four years that has passes since Skam first aired in Norway she has only allowed herself to be interview by a few newspapers, including The New Yorker. When Svenska Dagbladet meets her it’s the first ever interview with Swedish media.

We have set up a meeting at the legendary Hotel Bristol in Oslo. I’m not really satisfied with the meeting point and had imagined that we would sit at a ”cool in an Oslo way” student café. Maybe close to Hartvig Nissen Videregående skole, where the show is set. This looks more like a fancy city hotel - beautiful, but characterasied by its audience. The guests could all be William’s grandparents, you can almost smell the wealth originating from the oil.

But it turns out to be a true Julie Andem spot. She has lived here, and not only a night, but during a long period of time. It was when the triple work with writing the script, directing and finishing cutting the episodes shut down everything that could be called everyday life. With working days from seven in the morning to one at night and also a water leakage in the apartment there was no more reasonable solution that checking in at a hotel.

The script that she partly wrote right here are now released as four books, one for each season. Julie Andem has not yet seen the Swedish version and wonders how Norwegian sociolect can be translated to other languages. But in Sweden we have already taken in the skam slang - the only thing that’s a bit tricky to translate is ”russebussen”.

[cut out passage where the writer talks about the russebuss and the Swedish equivalent]

”When I talk about Skam abroad, for example in South America where the show has become really big, I always get to a point where I have to explain ”russebuss”. It’s absurd to tell that 20-25 students rent or buy a bus, set it up with all the right equipment and drive around in it for a month, drunk. And the Norwegian society allows that, right before exams” Julie Andem notes and can’t help but laugh at it.

[cut out passage about the other versions of skam and what the writer thinks of the script books]

In the script there are comments directed to different people in the team, suggestions for at which parents you could film a scene and ideas for clothes. That much of herself Julie Andem has never shown before: it’s almost like you get to know her.

But on the other side of the table in the dining hall at Hotel Bristol where we are now eating a shrimp sandwich each she says straight aways that she wants to separate her public persona from her private live. Julie Andem can say that she has a brother, a sister and two bonus sisters, but doesn’t want to mention her parents. And when I ask her about her own time in high school she answers by telling about her russebuss.

”I was on a girls bus with 25 girls. We were very split when we were going to name the bus. The name is crucial, because it gives the identity for the whole bus. One half of us wanted to be called ”Red Hot Chilli Babes” and the other voted for ”The Amateurs”. Because we were very funny, but nobody took any responsibility and we had no control at all”.

You had no Vilde?

”No, there was no Vilde. Luckily it ended up being ” The Amatuers”. But the russebuss-culture has radically changed since I was russ 2001. Now it’s mental how much money they use.

Julie Andem grew up in the west part of Oslo, the fanciest part of the city. She describes her time in school as pretty boring. She didn’t go to Nissen, which is a highly respected high school, where the Norwegian princesses Astrid and Ragnhild has gone. Talking about royals, the crown princess Mette-Marit is a big fan of Skam and has gotten the scripts with a dedication from Julie Andem - and her son is seen on the show.

”I wanted to go to Nissen, but I didn’t have good enough grades, so I had to take the second best, Ullern Vidergående. It’s a typical west side school, which means there was quite a few Williams. Most of my friends wanted to work with economy or become lawyers or paralegals.

So Skam is your dream about how it would have been if you got in to Nissen?

”Haha, yes, you can see it like that.”

Who were you? Are you Noora?

”No, I’m all of them - and non of them. I see myself in all of them, even William, that Sweden hates.”

I firmly say that it’s not true that Sweden hates William, but Julie Andem says that the criticism against the character came from all the Scandinavian countries after the same episode, but it was a lot harsher in Sweden than I Norway and Denmark. And she knows the countries well, because she has had a Swedish boyfriend and lived in Denmark. After high school she moved to Jylland [part of Denmark] where she studied for a year at Den Skandinaviske Designhøjskole.

”It was amazing, because there I got lots of funny friends from Stockholm, Malmö and Copenhagen that I still have. It was like coming home when I realized that not everywhere in the world is like Oslo West. I had a friend that already then was vegan, a strong feminist and refused to shave her legs and armpits. And me, coming from the West side just thought ”WOW”” says Julie Andem and emphasis it with a mixture of fear and excitement.

So she is also a little bit of Noora?

”Yes, absolutely!”

Julie Andem was planning on becoming a graphic designer and continued to study at Westerdals Reklameskole in Oslo (now called Christiania Høyskole), ”It’s like Beckmans in Sweden”. There she studied to become an art director - and thus does not have any education for working on tv. But when Julie Andem got an internship at a tv production she started to write ”instead of just making posters”. 2008 she got a job at NRK’s children’s sector, that just had come up with the new concept ”Sara” - a video diary with a twelve year old girl.

”Everything was fiction, she was an actor and the script was written, but it was presented in a vlog format, like it was real. It wasn’t my idea and I got in as an assistant, but I also got to write the script. After that we created a concept called ”MIA”. Then there was ”Jenter” which went on for ten seasons, was a big success in the ages 10-12 and won an Emmy 2017. The show also had viewers  that were up to 15 years old and that’s why NRK asked if it was possible to make a similar concept for 16 year olds. That was how ”Skam” came about.

NRK used the method NABC (needs/approach/benefit/competition) that builds on finding a need in the target group and poof solve it with a tv show. That’s why Julie Andem had one question in her mind when she did her three our long deep interviews: What does a 16 year old need?

”The most clear thing was that those who are young now has been subjected to pressure from all directions in life. They need to preform in school, during after school activities, on social media and in relation to future careers - it’s pressure from 360 degrees.

More than when you were young? ”Yes, definitely. That’s why the question was if it’s possible to make a tv show that takes away some of that pressure. The conclusion was to give the viewers some Self-deprecating humor as a tool to ease the pressure by laughing at it. We also wanted to teach them to see how human communication mechanisms work. If you are 16 and your boyfriend breaks up it feels like everything about you is wrong, but maybe it has nothing to do with you. We wanted to teach young people to confront the fear and build confidence, to stand for something and not run for others.”

[passage about the nine original characters]

”I knew what I wanted with the nine, but as an example I didn’t know there would be a party in season 3. Eva was going to learn to become independent and put away the shame she was carrying, while Noora needs to learn to let people in.

It sounds like you are very logical when you write, almost like it’s mathematics?

”Yes”

Was that way of working something you had learnt or does it have to do with your personality?

”Both. It’s hard to tell exactly what it is, but I thought ”Jenter”, ”MIA” and ”Sara” were fun to work with because it was something new. We succeeded with getting close to the target group and the interaction between us an the viewers were extremely fascinating. I studied closely what works and doesn’t - and why. Why we would get bad feedback on this video, but not on that and what can we learn from that? That I have a strong fascination for that way of telling stories and has been doing it for almost ten years made me good at it. Many has asked how I could create such a big success despite it being my first tv production, but it didn’t happen over night. I have worked with this for a long time.”

[passage about how the skam concept works and how big it became in the different Scandinavian counties]

”I don’t think it’s healthy to be totally caught up in a tv show, at least not for a longer period of time. But I think those who does that has reasons for it.”

Where do you draw the line?

”Haha, it’s hard to know where it should be drawn. But it’s not all bad, because in the communities that has been created around Skam people have found friends for life. They take care of each other and that’s amazing. So it’s hard for me to dislike it and I also didn’t understand people would get sooo caught up in it.

When did you discover that? When did things start to happen?

It was probably most clear in season two when Noora is waiting for William to reply to an important text. I was told that people sat and refreshed the page again and again to se if William had replied and no one could work.”

In this unbearable wait the hashtag #williammåsvare was created and a phone company made a commercial that said that if William had used their company he would have replied by now. Then a food store said they had ”waiting fish cakes”. Julie Andem let Skam reply to that with Noora throwing tandrum at Eskild because he has eaten her fish cakes and she yells ”JEG TRENGER FISKEKAKER NÅ!”. The interaction with the audience was the foundation of the idea.

How close to filming did you write the script?

”At best two weeks in advance and at worse two hours before filming. I wrote and directed and was editing parallel with constantly having to come up with new scenes. It was at that point I checked in here” says Julie Andem and points vaguely towards the hotel, where we are trying to talk over a pianist that’s now holding a concert right by out table. The strict waiter doesn’t think a interview is a good enough reason to change tables.

But even if you didn’t have the script finished there must have been a main storyline?

Yes, but the storyline changed. It was like a ”it has to be like this, but I will know better after the third episode.”

How has the translating of Skam to other language gone? Did you interfere with the translated versions?

”No, but I have meet those who are making the shows and often talk to the Italian director. He is very dedicated and has a lot of questions. It has been enjoyable.”

The American version ”Skam Austin” you have directed yourself. How was that?

”Super fun, but very different. In Norway we were five on the team - sound, camera, two assistants and me. In Austin there were 50-70 people on set. If you want to get young amateurs to dare to be vulnerable you have to create a safe environment and that doesn’t work with so many adults there. My photographer and me worked a lot with creating a bubble and push everybody else as far away as possible.

Did you adapt the script to the American audience?

”You have seen a lot of high school shows, so I was looking for something that you hadn’t already seen. But there weren’t much to discover - it’s exactly like in all tv shows. The coolest guy at a high school in Texas plays American football, that’s just how it is. We have seen that football team hundreds of times, but we didn’t want to make something up that didn’t exist. It was still new because the themes were new to them.”

I try to direct the conversation towards how the attention around Skam has changed Julie Andem as a human being and first she says she hasn’t had time to think about it.

”But I’m a quite easily embarrassed person and I’ve had to work on that, because a lot of people get in touch with me. Complete strangers dump their whole life story on me and I’ve had to practice receiving it. I got a letter from a 70 years old Swedish man who wrote that season 3 had given him a new life and that he wished he had got to experience that in his youth. I feel thankful to have taken part of that story, but sometimes I have to shut it out. Many stories are so sad that they make me too touched, too upset.”

You are a little strict too, right? ”Yes, if I know what I want and why I’m very clear. I don’t know how much you know about producing drama, but we filmed two episodes in three days and then there’s not really much time to stop and think about what you feel. And I’m pretty strong-willed.”

Julie Andem talks about a scene in the first season where the girls are walking up a hill on their way for a party while ”Dick in the Air” by Peaches is playing.

”That scene becomes fantastic with the sexualizing song, but I was told that we had to remove it because of something with the copyright. It is rarely I show that kind of emotions at work, but I was so upset and angry that I sat by my desk and cried. Then I took the phone and called everybody I know that works with music. I found someone who said they knew Peaches’ manager and then somebody came and said ’We’ve found a solution’. Two years later I was at a club in LA where Peaches were going to sing. I said to somebody that I dig her, so afterwards I got to meet her and told her about the scene and that I used her song. She said: ’I have seen then scene and I love it’ and I screamed back ’I KNEW IT!’”

The music is really fundamental in Skam. Is it based on your own interest in music or did you get help?

I’ve never thought that I have such a big interest in music. Many of my friends have very specific taste in music and I’ve liked everything. But yes, it’s fundamental and often I have written in and listened to the music while writing the scenes.

Had you found out what 16 year olds today listens to?

”Yes, absolutely, but teens today have Spotify, so they listen to everything. I got references from so many music genres that I realized that you could use pretty much anything. But I was important that the song they dance to at a party was a hit at that moment.”

The values that exist in Skam, pro feminism and against racism and homophobia, is pretty Scandinavian. How have they worked in countries like France and Italy?

”I don’t know, but Skam has spread all over the world and has big groups of fans in Argentina, Brazil, Japan and China. Skam is growing in China as we speak” she says and looks pretty cheeky.

”It seems like there are more people in this world that has use of Scandinavian values.”

[demansiabites]

So, the 2010′s are over, what the fuck is up with that one? I spent more time in video games during the 2010′s than I probably spent in school, so I’ve naturally been trying to rank 10 games as my favorites of the decade. Of course, I’m a dumb bitch so I couldn’t think of anything past four or so games that I loved during the decade. So under the cut, here are my top 10 games that I played during the decade ranked in idunno an order I guess:

Number 10: Far Cry 3 (November 29th, 2012), aka the worst fucking game I’ve ever enjoyed. Far Cry 3 is a video game, that’s one of the few things I’m certain of, so naturally it has video game elements. Story, gameplay, characters, some vague semblance of doing something. If someone asked me to describe how well it did any of those things, it’d probably go something like this: “The story was fucking garbage, there was one good character that they killed halfway through, there was like one good mission in the entire game, and the gameplay was passable for a first person shooter”.  So then what the fuck, why is it this high up? I don’t know, but for some reason I kept playing this god damn game at least once every year for the past few years. Even though I had to use uPlay, even though the characters are unlikable as fuck, even though the story feels like it was written in one night long bender including some combination of Vodka and Red Bull that probably resulted with at least one person in the hospital, I kept playing this fucking game. And I think I might have figured out why, it’s just fucking stupid. There are very few games I would consider a “survival” game where it doesn’t actually have survival elements, and Far Cry 3 is one of them. The entire map itself wants you dead honestly. Including a cast of tigers, giant birds, pirates, bears, giant cliffs, and sharks, there’s no safe place on the map. Getting from one end of the map to the other will include at least one fight, no matter what you do. The game gives you the stupidest tools I can think of to get you across the map. There’s literally no reason for them to give you a flare gun, but they do because why not. A wingsuit? You get that shit like, 60% of the way through the game, and that last 40% is mostly me fucking around with the added mobility they should’ve given me from the start.  I fucking hate this game so much, purely because I enjoy it more than this game has the right to make someone enjoy. I give it a 4/10. If someone asked me of any good survival games, I would recommend something else then remember Far Cry 3 a couple hours later when taking a shower. Then I would probably play it myself, because it’s the guiltiest of pleasures.

Number 9: BioShock (August 21st, 2007), aka I never said all the games came out this decade, I just said I played them. BioShock is one of those games people consider a “masterpiece”. It’s got an amazing story, revolutionary gameplay, fantastic characters. I may agree with that, but that’s not why it’s here. I bought this game and for the following three days I stayed up playing it from 8 PM to 7 AM because I kept getting so fixed into the game that I lost my passage of time. If that’s not top 10 material I don’t know what the fuck is. BioShock is a 9/10 game, play it if you know you’re not doing anything for the next 3 days because you probably won’t realize how long you’ve been playing it. Also it’s actually pretty scary sometimes, so be warned.

Number 8: Mount and Blade: Warband (March 30, 2010), aka the game where I said I was going to take over the entire map then spent 60 hours getting 33% of the way through that goal. Mount and Blade: Warband is a perfectly accurate simulation of the days under the feudal system, because everything takes 8 years to fucking happen. Travelling across the map takes minutes at a time, battles take minutes, starting a castle’s siege takes 3 in-game days, then the siege itself takes anywhere from 10 real life minutes to an hour based on how mean the game is feeling. Do I dislike this? No, not at all, I love how large scale this game. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the largest scale games I’ve played ever. Battles can have hundreds of troops at a time, the world is dominated by kingdoms with actual politics, there are hundreds of named NPCs in the game almost every single one of which you can fight or ally with. It’s fucking insane. Mount and Blade: Warband gets an 8/10 from me, it’s not at all for everyone but it’s certainly for me.

Number 7: Resident Evil 4 (January 11, 2005), aka “wait the same person that played Leon Scott Kennedy also voiced the Merchant?” I don’t think I have anything new to say about Resident Evil 4, so I’m not really going to bother trying to critique this game. I will say I beat it at least 4 or 5 times throughout the decade, having only owned it for a few years, and that I also played it with my significant other during that time and after that they bought it to play it themselves. The only other thing I feel worth mentioning is god damn did they make Leon Scott Kennedy fucking THICC. You may think the artillery are the guns you’re carrying around anymore, but nah, them cheeks could fucking fracture a skull. Resident Evil 4 gets an 8/10 from me, I would buy it at a high price. Also I love Ada Wong.

Number 6: Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls (September 25th, 2014), aka the reason I would never recommend somebody to follow me on this fucking website. Danganronpa is by far, the best series I’ve ever seen have so many crippling flaws in it. Thankfully, Ultra Despair Girls manages to avoid those flaws by being just straight up a different game entirely. Most of Danganronpa’s flaws comes from how many characters they have. Ultra Despair Girls manages to fix that by not having as many characters, but expanding heavily on the characters that it does have. The motherfuckers literally made the hyperactive serial killer my favorite character in fiction, I don’t know what y’all expect of me at this point. Also, the game manages to have gameplay that is actually suited for someone such as myself. I absolutely adore the class trials in Danganronpa, but visual novels aren’t my thing most of the time. Danganronpa is certainly an exception, but Ultra Despair Girls’s third person shooter gameplay holds my attention like a vice, that shit was made for me. Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls gets a 7/10 from me, it’s certainly not the best game but god damn if it didn’t ruin me.

NOW ENTERING, THE LARGE LADS, WHERE RANKING MATTERS

Number 5: Plants vs. Zombies (May 5, 2009), aka the sentiment from the memories I have playing it is enough to put it on here. I played Plants vs. Zombies one time in the past decade, and that was just last year. But, I played it with my significant other while I was in England visiting them. We bought it for 1 pound from a game store, and played it almost every. single. day. after we bought it. We beat the main story at least three times, and one of those times I played. Honestly, it’s still a really fucking fun game, and I wouldn’t go back and change a second of the time I played it. Plants vs. Zombies gets a 9/10 from me, it’s an incredibly polished game and the memories I have of it means it’ll hold a special place in my heart for a long time to come.

Number 4: Fallout: New Vegas (October 19, 2010), aka 234 hours of my life I will never get back. Fallout: New Vegas is a special experience that I’m certain will never have a replacement. It’s reached a place in my mind where if I ever want to experience a game like it again, there is no “other game” to go to, I just go back to New Vegas and play through it all again. I give Fallout: New Vegas an 8/10, it’s incredibly buggy, but I’ll never be able to escape its grasp.

Number 3: The Outer Worlds (October 25th, 2019), aka wait there’s another Fallout: New Vegas, damn that’s rad The Outer Worlds was introduced to me through this trailer, upon which everyone was hyping it up. The game was made by the developers of Fallout: New Vegas, it looked like it had way more polish, and it was a space adventure. So naturally, with all of these positives, I was fucking horrified at what we were going to get. I was so unbelievably afraid that Obsidian was going to release the game and it was going to be bad. Well, I bought it a couple weeks after release, and let me tell you what the days after were like: BioShock, it was fucking BioShock again, god DAMMIT. The Outer Worlds is a fun, amazingly written, anti-corporation, fuck you Bethesda, space adventuring, really fucking fun game. I’m pretty sure I did almost every side quest, only missing on a couple companion quests, and I did everything I could to get the ending I sought after the most. I wanted nothing more than to topple the Capitalist Assholes, so I did. Not only did the game let me do that, but it has LGBTQ+ characters, and holy shit are some of them comparable to the UV Rays the sun is trying to fucking end me with.  The Outer Worlds receives a 9/10 from me, and I should play it again.

Number 2: Fallout 2 (September 30th, 1998), aka wow this game is the most dated piece of media, can I play it forever? I honestly have no fucking clue why I fell so in love with Fallout 2. It’s got some real problematic elements, homophobic NPCs, some of the worst parts of society, literal slavers? Literal slavers? But for some reason, I’m happy playing a game with them, because there is almost no consequence to just wiping them the fuck out. Every time I play through this game, it’s just routine for me to kill the slavers, the drug producers, the Scientologists. It’s like, the most selective experience ever, I could probably do quests for these people, but nah, I wipe them out and the game just stands there with its hands in its pockets not saying a word. It doesn’t try to stop me, it doesn’t give me some stupid negative trait for what I did. So long as I survive the encounter, I’m free to just move on with my day. On top of that, it’s also got amazing characters, and an amazing story. You can tell the story’s amazing, because in Fallout 3 Bethesda tried to do it again, and failed miserably. Fallout 2 gets an 8/10 from me, it’s a buggy piece of shit, but with a mod that fixes it it’s a way for me to spend another 90 hours.

Number 1: OneShot (December 8th, 2016), aka the best video game experience. OneShot is one of those special game experiences where I have nothing that I dislike about it. The main character is one of my favorite characters ever, they are an absolute baby. Every other character in the game is likable, as well. I have honest to god tried to come up with something I dislike about OneShot and I just can’t think of it. I may not replay it multiple times, but I don’t need to. I’m so in love with OneShot, I don’t need to play it multiple times. As a matter of fact, I don’t need to play it. I don’t own OneShot, my significant other does, they bought it at my recommendation. OneShot will never stop being one of the most special experiences to me.  OneShot is a 10/10 game, and I genuinely, with all my heart, recommend anyone who has even slightly similar tastes to me to play it. It’s one of the most lovable games in gaming, has exclusively likable characters, and I will always adore Niko from it.

[gregkamradt]

Top Reads of 2017

Here’s a list of the top books I read in 2017. In favorite order 10 to 1

10. In Search Of Excellence - Tom Peters (1982)

Where May, Watts, and Frankl lay philosophical foundations for your mind, Tom Peters sets the stage for the organization.

At a time when IBM, General Motors and other dinosaur power houses reigned the scene, Peters goes deep into the underpinnings of assembling a massive collection of people working together. Keep in mind that research for this book started in 1977 and the principles still hold true today.

Who should read this book? The business nerds and students of organizational philosophy. I know that’s all of you right?

“Many of the innovative companies got their best product ideas from customers. That comes from listening, intently and regularly.”

Amazon

9. Hardball - Chris Matthews (1988)

This was standard reading in highschool, but of course I didn’t appreciate it enough. With a couple years of work and exposure to corporate politics under my belt, the 2nd reading of Hardball was a lot more gripping.

Chris Matthews goes into details of political maneuvers he’s seen over the course of his career. Better yet, he backs each one up with real world examples.

Who should read this book? Anyone gearing up for corporate politics or a life in the public view.

“I’ve lived across the street from you for 18 years…I shoveled your walk in the winter. I cut your grass in the summer…I didn’t think I had to ask you for your vote. He never forgot her response. ‘Tom, I want you to know something: people like to be asked.’”

Amazon

8. The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey (1989)

Stephen starts off 7 Habits with a section on “paradigms.” Simply, how do you look at the world? Through what lense do you evaluate your experience?

He goes on to explore foundational traits of people who get things done while bringing it home to each persons personal mission.

Who should read this book? Anyone who wants a strategic view, rather than tactical, for finding your life’s “Northstar” metric.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Amazon

7. Tools of Titans - Tim Ferris (2016)

“Wow that was great advice”...pretty much what I thought every page of this book. It’s long (700+ pages) account of 100+ people who’ve done amazing things and experienced extraordinary growth. Tim distills the most juicy nuggets of information from years of podcasts and interviews into this books three sections: Health, Wealth, and Wisdom.

No matter who you are, you’re going to find a new role model somewhere in these pages.

Spoiler alert: The common thread behind every successful person I’ve ever read about comes down to two words: energy & action

Who should read this book? Anyone who wants to hear about the least common denominator of success through various endeavors.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” —Pierre-Marc-Gaston”

“Investing in yourself is the most important investment you’ll ever make in your life. . . . There’s no financial investment that’ll ever match it, because if you develop more skill, more ability, more insight, more capacity, that’s what’s going to really provide economic freedom. . . . It’s those skill sets that really make that happen.”

Amazon

6. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life - Walter Isaacson (2003)

Ben Frank, where do you begin? The guy left behind a legacy filled with adventure, discovery and a firm grasp of life.

I enjoyed that while learning about BF, you got a great view into what life was like in the 1700s as well as an alternative view of the American Revolution.

Who should read this book? The history buff.

“Knowledge, he realized, “was obtained rather by the use of the ear than of the tongue.”

Amazon

5. Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig (1989)

A long and difficult book that I couldn’t put down. The topics were as high up in the alpine meadows of philosophy as the metaphors laid throughout the story. Many people told me this book was about “quality” but it was so much more than that.

Phaedrus simply had his mind turn inside out. A circle that inverts, a hand that grasped itself, a mind that broke through consciousness.

“You look at where you're going and where you are and it never makes sense, but then you look back at where you've been and a pattern seems to emerge.”

“Is it hard?' Not if you have the right attitudes. Its having the right attitudes thats hard.”

Amazon

4. 100-Year-Old-Man - Jonas Jonasson (2012)

Cute fictional read about an old man goes on an adventure and decides not to return home. This one reads like Forrest Gump, a likable oblivious main character traveling the world while playing cameos in major historical events.

Who should read this book? Someone looking for an easy break from their slew of business non-fiction reads.

“Never try to out-drink a Swede, unless you happen to be a Finn or at least a Russian.”

“...you'll see that things will turn out like they do, because that is what usually happens - almost always, in fact”

Amazon

3. Zen In The Art Of Archery - Eugene Herrigel (1948)

After a bunch of Alan Watts and Zen/Motorcycle, Zen In The Art Of Archery was a natural next step. A german professor goes to Japan to learn the ways of Zen from a master.

This book blew my mind with the language of a feeling that happens when a person connects with the oneness of the world. A feeling that goes beyond words.

Don’t go into it dry, warm yourself up with other philosophy reading beforehand. It’s hard to connect with this book cold turkey.

Who should read this book? Anyone on the tail end of an eastern philosophy phase.

“Don't think of what you have to do, don't consider how to carry it out!" he exclaimed. "The shot will only go smoothly when it takes the archer himself by surprise.”

Amazon

2. American Kingpin - Nick Bilton (2017)

Real life racketeering, drugs, murder, Bitcoin, cybercrime and...San Francisco. What else could be better than that for someone in the Bay Area? This book will leave your on the edge of your seat as you watch Ross create a business from his bedroom that ended up doing $1B+ in sales of illegal items.

Bilton does a great job keeping the reader engaged through movie-like scene transitions and build ups. I’ll be surprised if this story doesn’t become a movie in the next 5 years. I hope Christopher Nolan or Scorsese gets it.

Who should read this book? Anyone remotely interested in cryptocurrency or rag-to-riches crime stories.

Extra: Here are two internet breadcrumbs that got Ross caught. 1. His first promotion of the site in Jan ‘11 2. Him asking a coding question on stackover flow about Tor/php

Amazon

1. The Autobiography of Malcom X - Malcom X (1965)

Absolutely amazing book that shows how Malcom X came to be through his own words. While you can’t take everything he says for truth, this book is an amazing perspective that connects many dots throughout the civil rights movement.

Malcom X was ~90% done with this book before he was assassinated in New York. The amount of passion that flows through his words tell a tale of energy that always found an outlet, either through crime, development, or civil rights.

Who should read this book? Anyone ready for a heavy read on the transformational story of a civil rights leader.

“The main thing you got to remember is that everything in the world is a hustle.”

“So early in my life, I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some noise.”

“The ability to read awoke inside of me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.”

Amazon

[orionsangel86]

12x10 - “Pterodactyl Screeching into the void” - Part 1

My title is borrowed from @postmodernmulticoloredcloak comment on my crazy blogging after first watching this episode earlier. I feel like it is a fitting title for how this episode made me feel. To clarify, these are very very happy pterodactyls.

Steve Yokey wrote this episode and he appears to have well and truly taken up the gap left when Robbie Thompson sadly left the show. In fact this episode to me channels the ghost of Robbie in many different ways. From the fanfiction-esque moments of poor suffering third wheel Sam, to the meta nod to Charlie Bradbury, there is much of Robbie to be found here. Basically, it was bloody perfect.

I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come. Yokey has picked up the characterisations brilliantly, and seems to have an understanding of what the fandom desperately craves in terms of Castiel, his character, his personality and his development. I adored his sass in this episode. Some other writers *cough*bucklemming*cough* struggle to really capture Castiel’s sass and humour. Showing their lack of understanding of Castiel’s persona and his intelligence and instead writing him in a way that is jarring and sometimes basically stupid. Castiel is far from stupid. In this episode he was written perfectly, in a way I haven’t seen since Edlund’s time. Is that a sweeping statement? Maybe. But I’m still riding my high so let me have it this time.

This episode gave us three of my favourite things. Badass and Sassy Castiel, Overprotective grumpy husband Dean, and poor long suffering brother Sam. (baring in mind this is how they are usually written in fanfiction nowadays this is exactly my jam and I am so so happy to see it play out on screen. Seriously who sold their soul to Crowley for this episode?)

This review will also be in two parts. Because I have so freaking much to say about it.

The first part will focus on destiel, the second on everything else including Castiel’s emotional arc (as separate from destiel), his relationships with angels, angels and gender and Lily Sunder’s character.

PART 1 - ALL THE DESTIEL

I’m still struggling to contain my excitement over this. The episode begins with Dean feeling very pissy about what happened at the end of the last episode. Castiel killed Billy to save the Winchesters regardless of the “cosmic consequences”. Castiel stands his ground that he doesn’t regret his decision. Dean is acting like a sulking child over the whole thing. Sam is cool with it. Because Sam is cool. He is also extremely fed up with being caught in the middle of a lovers spat.

And that’s just it isn’t it? How else can you possibly read it? This is a lovers spat. I have read this in fan fiction enough times to know exactly how this story goes. Funnily enough, the episode also goes the exact way of fanfiction (except for the explicit bits of course) and that makes me love it even more..

We start with Dean grumbling about Cas’s inability to track down Kelly Kline. It’s left to Sam to bring up Cas and whether or not they have spoken yet:

(gif source courtesy of @subcas)

We are 5 minutes into the episode, Sam is already so done, and I am having flashbacks to a fanfic I read recently… In fact I am pretty sure it was this one. 

No seriously read this extract pulled from this fanfic:

“Sam is witness to a lot of arguing, followed by one or both of them storming off in a huff. Long periods of excruciating silence stretch out between each altercation.  Sam never makes any move to intervene or get them to patch things up – Dean’s trying to figure out how to feel about that – but he always watches with careful concern and a raised eyebrow. Dean makes absolutely no effort to engage his brother on the topic, so he can only guess at what Sam makes of all this.

He tries to imagine what it must look like from Sam’s point of view – Dean getting irritated over nothing, sniping at Cas, fleeing without apologizing. Maybe Sam just thinks it’s all those perfectly reasonable aggravations, Cas being all up in his space and not backing off, Cas forgetting to refill the ice cube tray for the fifth time.

Then again, it’s Sam. It’s not like Dean doesn’t like Cas, or would get on his case so much even if he did, after all Cas has done for his sorry ass – even Dean’s not that much of a jerk. Sam must know that. He must know there’s something else going on. He probably understands exactly what Dean’s doing, maybe even better than Dean does himself.”

I mean COME ON. (also that is a awesome fic if you haven’t read it already… it gets pretty steamy further in the series. Cas is such a dom. Lmao.)

If we consider this entire conversation between Sam and Dean we immediately see a massive difference between their reactions to the Billy situation. Sam sees things objectively. He sees what Cas did, he knows that there could be bad consequences, but he understands that Cas did it for them, because he cared. He also respects Cas’s choice here and sticks up for him. Because Sam is not being unreasonable about his friends decision. Sam acts like a supportive friend. He gets it, it is his brother he is more fed up with.

Dean on the other hand is acting totally unreasonable. I haven’t even gotten to the conversation in the car when things start to get interesting because so far Dean is just being a jerk. Sam’s expressions tell us this straight away, before Cas even enters the scene. Why on earth would Dean act this way over a friend? He wouldn’t. It makes no sense. Just like in the fanfic I have quoted above. Something else is going on here, Dean is acting out for a completely other reason than what is apparent on first glance.

Once Cas does show up and things only get more awkward we get a brilliant moment which you can see giffed in its entirety here by @constiellation in which Sam is his poor awkward self stuck in the middle of a lovers spat that has been going on for the past week apparently. The way this moment calls back to 8x22 is completely thanks to the director Thomas J Wright knowing exactly what he is trying to show us in both episodes that poor Sam has been stuck in the middle of this domestic for years. (I should say a big thanks to @godshipsit for sending me the links to these posts since up until this point I have not been on my dash at all and therefore haven’t been gif hunting myself.)

The car scene drives home Sam’s terrible situation even further as he can’t even escape the immense *sexual* tension by moving to a different room.

LOOK AT THIS POOR BASTARD!!

Whilst I am sure that the intense tension and poor Sammy’s discomfort has been a major focal point here, the bit that I found most interesting was this exchange about Benjamin:

“Benjamin wouldn’t call for help lightly, he wouldn’t put himself in harm’s way if he could help it.”

“Wow this Benjamin seems like he is pretty cool, like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked knee jerked choices.”

What sets Dean off here is that Castiel’s description of Benjamin talks about Benjamin not putting himself in danger. That is why Dean thinks Benjamin is a cool guy. This is what Dean is digging at. This is our first clue into Dean’s real feelings about the Billy situation. He is pissed that Cas has potentially put himself in danger.

Cas’s response only pisses Dean off more:

“Yeah you know what I like about him, he’s sarcastic but he’s thoughtful and appreciative too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Enough that Dean almost crashes the Impala. This is practically unheard of. Cas and Dean are not on the same page at the moment. Cas thinks Dean is just being a jerk and unappreciative of his efforts, and Dean thinks that Cas is being too careless with his own life (which you can damn well talk Dean, making death deals last episode)

Then this scene gets even juicer as we get this story about Benjamin and his vessel. This is our first of three Angel/Human love stories in this episode (not including the forth and most important love story between Dean and Castiel of course).

Everything about the way Castiel describes Benjamin’s relationship with his vessel implies a romantic connection (“gave him everything, her trust, her body… its more than that, she’s not just his vessel she’s his…” “friend”.) It of course, is never explicitly said (and that is important) but I bet that the general audience picked up on THAT bit of subtext just from the way Sam said the word “friend” and isn’t that so interesting? How often has the word “friend” been used throughout the series to describe Dean and Castiel? Yet here it is being used specifically in a subtextual way to describe something completely non platonic.

Moving on to our next bit of destiel deliciousness is another moment of brotherly teasing.

The boys arrive at the diner to meet Ishim and Mirabel. Castiel’s sass is on point today with his “If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.”

Can I please take a moment to appreciate Sam’s face here: 

(Gif source thanks to @godshipsit - you are a blessing Alex)

On top of that expression of absolute GOLD is this moment:

“and you’re gonna storm in riiiiiighht…. Now.” And omg Sam totally has no more fucks to give with his brothers bullshit. He can see right through Dean’s drama to how he truly feels. Dean may act pissy with Cas but the moment Cas may be in danger Dean is all like “oh HELL NO.” Five minutes. He lasted five minutes. I love overprotective embarrassing husband Dean it is MY JAM.

 “These are my friends, my friends who don’t listen well”

*cue Dean practically sitting in Cas’s lap*

This is the best moment in the history of the show. Three grown ass huge men squeezing into a tiny diner seat. I LOVE IT. 

Ishim is such a tool, the way he speaks to Cas is awful but what is so so great is how Dean and also Sam stick up for him here. We so often seem to get Sam and Dean digging on Cas, talking him down and treating him like shit. The Winchesters are world weary and grumpy men and Cas often gets caught up in this. What we are shown here is just how defensive they get when other people try to do it. Because where the Winchester’s digging comes from a place of love, these angels nasty comments come from a place of hate. The Winchester’s won’t have it. 

Also SO MANY jokes to be had over the subtext of “no one talks to my husband like that BUT ME bitch” Oh DEAN.

Moving on to this beautiful flashback moment and our even more beautiful fem!castiel who wow what a good casting. But more on that in part 2. What I wanna talk about here is this moment:

(gif source once again thanks to @godshipsit)

We have our second angel/human love story of the episode between Lily and Akabel, or at least what we are led to believe is an angel/human love story that resulted in the birth of a Nephilim. The truth being that Akabel has pledged himself to protect Lily from Ishim at all costs. By the end of the episode, we are actually given the impression that their love was platonic rather than romantic or sexual. Akabel’s confusion when Castiel reads out the accusations is evident of that, as is Lily’s reaction to Dean and Sam’s attempts at reasoning with her later on.

However going back to the above gifset, Akabel argues to Ishim and the angel group that “How could anyone know [humans] and not love them?” at which point the camera cuts to Castiel. This my friends, is a nifty piece of editing which Supernatural has used on many occasions to add to the growing mountain of destiel subtext. Why cut to Castiel at this point? Because Castiel is going to experience this himself later in his lifetime. (by knowing and subsequently falling in love with Dean Winchester of course).

The third angel/human love story is next and it is a worst case scenario, dark and twisted tragedy and a massive subversion of the Dean/Cas story. It explores how an angel fell ‘in love’ with a human, but that human didn’t return his affections and therefore the angel became cold and murderous and obsessed. Ishim is a horribly twisted and dark Cas mirror highlighting what Castiel’s actual weakness is. Because Castiel nowadays cares more for the Winchesters than the world itself. “cosmic consequences” mean nothing when the Winchesters (and more specifically Dean) are in danger. The difference between Castiel and Ishim is that Ishim takes his anger out directly on the woman he loves, whereas Cas would never harm Dean. He instead makes decisions which have put the world in danger. 

I mentioned this previously, but the dark foreshadowing here is rather horrible. We have a terrified Lily left powerless whilst Ishim makes her watch as he kills her child. Claiming that she “broke his heart” so he will “break hers”. This is extreme. Where Lily is our Dean mirror and Ishim is Cas, who is Lily’s daughter? Sam. We have already seen this situation play out with our boys previously. Castiel, hurt and betrayed that Dean wouldn’t stand by his side to open purgatory and stop Raphael, breaks Sam’s wall and leaves him comatose. Its not the first time that Sam has been the one to get hurt in a fight between Dean and Cas. In an episode where he has constantly been trying to play peacemaker between them, could it be that Sam gets caught in a much bigger situation that started between Dean and Castiel? That perhaps the “cosmic consequences” Billy spoke of somehow end up hurting Sam? How could such a situation harm Dean and Cas’s relationship? Leaving Cas cold and hating human’s and Dean on a revenge mission to rival Gerard Butler’s in Law Abiding Citizen? Hopefully not. But with the emphasis at the start of this episode on the lovers spat and Cas not thinking before he acts, rather acting on his emotional need to keep Dean safe, and Dean’s anger possibly also being about Cas’s supposed obsession with him putting Dean first before the world… well, its not looking good for our boys basically. But then again I did say this was worst case scenario. 

The next moment that made my heart leap thanks to the destiel of it all:

(gif source thanks to @some-people-call-it-tragic )

This was preceded by a phone call that Dean made to Cas that only rang twice before his over protective nature kicked in and he ran back to the ‘safe house’ to go save his husband from Ishim. Leaving Sam to talk to Lily (its always Dean who goes back for Cas. Remember that.) After all the bitterness from the start of the episode, it is clear by this point that none of that matters if either of them are in danger.

“Who are you gonna believe? Your brother? Or some filthy ape?”  Ishim tries to make Cas choose him over Dean. Which is of course hilarious to anyone that has watched even just one Cas episode of the show.

“Always talking down at you, always mocking you”.

Whats great about this is how this is being said in front of Dean because Dean is getting called out here. Ishim has been nasty and rude to Cas all episode, IN FRONT OF DEAN. Through Ishim, Dean is able to see just what a jerk he has actually been. Its giving Dean the chance to think about his actions, because there is no way Dean will want to be put in the same boat as this asshole.

“Ya know Cas and I might not agree all the time, but at least he knows who his real friends are”

Look at these two badass hunting husbands forming a united front against the bad guy. Also “Friends” just like the “friends” of Benjamin and his vessel right?

Of course everything goes super bad after this and poor Cas gets beaten to shit by this absolute dick of an angel IN FRONT OF DEAN. All this crap that Ishim is coming out with is being said IN FRONT OF DEAN. Do you know why I love this so much? Because we have had crappy villains like Ishim saying this kind of shit to Cas since SEASON 9 and sometimes even earlier. Castiel has always just taken it, never said “no. You are wrong about me” and in the later seasons he has started to believe their words, adding to his depression and PTSD. He has been called weak and pathetic and expendable and a tool and every time he has been alone. We have never had Dean be there by his side to hear these words to argue against them. But that is EXACTLY what we get this episode. And it is ABOUT BLOODY TIME.

And then we get probably the most obvious moment for Destiel from the whole episode. To the point that if the general audience don’t see it now they are a bloody lost cause:

(gif source @godshipsit AGAIN because I am Alex’s biggest fan)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. Let;s do a nice simple logic puzzle with what we know is canon:

Metatron says Castiel’s “true weakness is revealed”

Metatron says that that his weakness is “He is in love… with humanity”.

Metatron says “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but it was all about saving one man”

Ishim draped himself in the flag of heaven, but it was actually all about getting revenge on one woman.

Ishim said that he was “in love” with that woman.

Ishim called that woman his “human weakness”.

Ishim says that Cas also has a “human weakness”

Ishim threatens to cut out Castiel’s “human weakness”

Ishim goes to stab Dean.

Therefore can we please, finally accept that it is CANON that Dean=humanity. That Castiel is IN LOVE WITH humanity and that therefore

Castiel is in love with Dean Winchester.

Now that we have accepted that this is canon. Lets move on to the very next scene. This:

(gif source thanks to @codestielckles)

Now its Dean’s turn to get a choice. Blast away both angels, and Castiel will potentially die, or die himself. Of course Dean won’t do it. Dean would rather die fighting for Cas than risk Cas’s life. Ishim of course knows this to be true. “yeah, that’s what I thought” he says.

Also such an interesting shot of Cas looking at Dean in that moment because HOW MUCH does it remind you of that horrible moment from 10x22? What’s the betting that was also done intentionally? 10x22 was also directed by Thomas J Wright. This guy knows his stuff.

Thankfully Lily and Sam come in to save Dean from Ishim who really was just on a mission to kill Dean at this point probably because of his massive jealousy that Cas gets a human lover and he doesn’t.

Finally, probably the end scene we have been waiting for the past YEAR. The Winchesters actually TALKING to Cas and telling him what he NEEDS TO HEAR! I am all over this scene man I’m telling you I have been waiting for this I have been hoping and praying to Chuck for this! Dammit I am so happy about this!

“You’re not weak Cas you know that right?”

“Obviously you’ve changed, but its all been for the better.”

“And you’ve been with us every step of this long crazy thrill ride… and no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down”

“That takes real strength”

THANK YOU SAM AND DEAN AND THANK YOU STEVE YOKEY

*sips Cas hater tears*

And THEN we get this beauty which sums up Dean’s attitude all episode. It kinda actually sums up Dean’s attitude throughout the whole fucking show:

(Gif source thanks to @godshipsit again)

“I’m not mad, I’m worried.”

Exactly. Like how right at the beginning he picked on Cas after Cas mentioned Benjamin wouldn’t put himself in danger. Dean is worried about Cas. Dean is worried about his idiotic husband who cares more about saving him than he does himself and the world. Cas is blinded by his love for Dean. It is a problem and Dean ain’t happy about it. But it is all rooted in love.

And that’s it and I am exhausted!

I haven’t written so much meta on Destiel for one episode like EVER in my time in fandom. I doubt we have had an episode with THIS MUCH destiel in it since Goodbye Stranger. I can’t actually contain myself. Anyway, in summary. Destiel is canon. Destiel Exists. (Poor Jensen he must be so confused that season 12 skipped straight from episode 9 to episode 11) We have textual confirmation now (via a little bit of well applied but completely solid logic) that Castiel is in love with Dean and that Dean is an overprotective emotional mess when it comes to Cas being in danger (not that we didn’t know that already thanks to 11x18 among every other Cas-in-danger episode so far) This is undeniable.

Like I said in this episodes title. I am still pterodactyl screeching into the void about it. I don’t think I’ll stop going on about it for a long time yet.

I have more to say about this episode that is not specifically related to destiel coming up in part 2. Watch this space!