#wow i don't know what to do

[bajoslovan]

currently rethinking my life choices (got hit with everyday 12 hour work days not counting the commute) can somebody hold my hand and tell me it'll be alright?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[bean-spring]

Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.

Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.

You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.

"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.

"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.

I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.

Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.

Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.

[tempo-takoyaki]

Memories of the past.

[secriden]

Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:

Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.

(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)

The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.

But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are somehow infinitely gentle still; Style's kisses contain a purpose that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.

There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.

There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.

In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.

And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.

The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.

[egophiliac]

No way Azul signed the waivers

ah, but consider this: Azul is known to enact overelaborate schemes in order to cover for the fact that he is consistently getting like. negative points in physical education. therefore, I posit that he is in fact the mastermind behind the magical assault practicals in the first place, having waged an entire psychological war with Crowley to make him think it was his own idea. this includes spending months carefully dropping particular keywords into casual conversation whenever Crowley is walking by, so that his phone's Mira will pick up on them and start targeted advertising to Crowley in a way that seems innocuous but will ultimately help lead to Azul getting that sweet, sweet extra credit without having to run a single lap.

which is to say: Azul would sign the waiver, because he wrote the waiver (under an assumed name, filtered through three different shell companies, each of which charged a separate consulting fee) (this is just how Azul WORKS okay).

[cometblaster2070]

so i'm going to go fucking insane because for a while this aspect of malenia's character design has been bothering me and making me think I'm seeing things and going fucking crazy.

the aspect in question is malenia's left arm:

when i first saw malenia's arm my first thought was oh okay they're probably just bandages or some sort of wraps.

but then you look a bit closer and like

idk about you (because i might be losing it) but it seems like the mesh of whatever the fuck that is very clearly melded with her skin in a way/it looks like it's going into and then emerging out of her skin (which is HORRIFYING to think of I won't lie).

and once again i thought i was going crazy and seeing things because surely these were just meant to be wraps or bandages like the ones we see in the scene of her fighting radahn right?

and then the thought of the needle came to my mind. along with something malenia says in her cutscene before we fight her.

"my flesh was dull gold"

huh. now isn't that interesting.

this would imply that in order to stall the rot from consuming his sister, miquella made a plan to sew unalloyed gold into malenia's skin using his needle in a last-ditch attempt to save her arm.

(granted it's funnier to imagine he just sticks it in her arm and goes okay great all done! and that's probably the canon way it went but)

the thought of the sheer pain malenia must've gone through during this process, to be honest, and the thought of the guilt miquella must've felt at having to force his sister to endure even more agony just to help her is just sad.

and all of it is done just in an attempt to salvage what they can of her and hope that more can't be taken.

edit: btw when looking at malenia pre-bloom and pre-losing her needle it looks like there's a proper layer/cover/whatever it is around her arm up till her knuckles making it seem like an actual covering or layer on top of her skin and what not, but when we fight her post-bloom and post-losing needle it appears like some of the layers have either flaked or fallen away and that reveals that it's actually meshed with/into her skin.

[poltergeist-draws]

im so fucking sick of these [REDACTED]s ( @angstflavoured 's dtiys 😁 )

[defiledtomb]

WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!

[dailypokemoncrochet]

It's Friday the 13th and this is the spookiest photo I've taken of my Pokemon that I can think of off the top of my head

[catocappuccino]

Her favourite colour is yello w

[thevoid404]

I'm attempting a prompt list this year, lets see how fast I crash and burn.

So heres the thing, I originally wasn't gonna post these here and was planning on keeping it just on my insta, however today that app finally pissed the shit out of me and I decided to just crosspost because literally what the fuck. I have been so goddamn upset with that app for a while now but I think today was my last straw, I might abadone that goddamn hellhole for good.

ANYWAYS :3

For my 2 followers on here pls ik you came here for the hoyotrash fanarts I promise I'll post more of those once I fail this promptlist lmfao

[tarraxahum]

One thing that unintentionally and personally (as in, just in relation to myself) annoys me about the "do it scared" and other such true motivating sayings is that. Do WHAT. What's "it". I would fucking do it if I knew what "it" was. I would go out of my alleged comfort zone if I knew where to go. I would fucking live authentically if I knew what that fucking meant for me. It's been almost 30 years and I am not doing fucking anything with my life not because I'm scared to take a leap, but because I still don't fucking know where I want to be leaping. As a child I got asked "what do you want to be when you grow up" and I would say "I don't know" and now I did grow up and I still don't fucking know. Something that's not this. But WHAT.

One fear is that one day I'll be dying of old age and still not knowing. Just knowing that it wasn't whatever I ended up living.

[sun-marie]

BG3 has two of the most thoughtful, unapologetic, no holds barred depictions of men with abusive female partners I've every seen (Wyll + Mizora and Gale + Mystra), which is so rare to see in any media but especially video games, and some of the Larian writers seem determined to convince me it was 100% by accident

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[thebirdandhersong]

was knocked into the exosphere today, mentally speaking, by this here comment: "she's not stylish or fashionable, but she looks neat and tidy and she certainly works hard"