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revserrayyu · 3 months ago

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2.5 Xianzhou continuance thoughts [part 3]

**SPOILER warning** for the entirety of the Feixiao boss battle and the quick Lingsha & Dan Heng scene that follows after it. Of course if you haven’t reached this part of the story yet, I kindly ask you turn away before reading any further. Also.. there’s a bunch of scenes featuring our Lacking General here, so you won’t see me lacking in praises as I go crazy about her.

Soon after recovering from Yanqing’s icy blade, Hoolay starts wreaking havoc by tearing his bloody heart out and driving fear into all the foxians onboard the Skysplitter, which is just.. grand. I’m honestly kinda relieved that Jiaoqiu wasn’t around for this because if I had to witness Feixiao taking him down, or vice versa depending on whomever went insane first, I probably would’ve cried.

I do think it’s a bit comical that the 2.5 trailer used this shot of Feixiao with her giant wolf spirit summoned behind her to make it seem like she was our next enemy when she’s so clearly about to help us and handle the situation herself.

So devouring the heart is indeed the cause of her losing control, which I assumed would happen the first time Hoolay mentioned the blood heart and.. I’m kinda glad this is the true reason? She chose to eat it in order to save the other foxians from breaking out into a mad frenzy at the cost of her going insane instead. She wasn’t a secret accomplice of Hoolay nor did he take control over her like I feared upon watching the teaser trailer. I also thought that Feixiao’s moon rage might’ve overtaken her courtesy of Jiaoqiu not being around to treat her in time or she simply gave into the rage after hearing whatever torture Hoolay put Jiaoqiu through. So yeah, I think it’s best she deliberately intended for this to happen and trust the kids to snap her out of it rather than have her emotions getting the best of her while Hoolay stood by on the sidelines watching all smug as Feixiao betrays everyone.

Oohhh, the red in her eyes is still such a simply terrifying detail. You really feel like you’re in danger being started at like that.

I wish they were able to change up her model to reflect the red ring though considering how small of a change it really is. I understand it wouldn’t be too noticeable during battle when she’s all the way across the field, especially if the player has the battle speed turned up, but it would’ve been nice. (I also wish they did something with Jiaoqiu’s eyes too at the end of the story, but that’s something I’ll ramble about next post.)

Sigh.. I know my first thought shouldn’t be “wow, wish that were me right now instead of Yunli,” and yet it’s all I can think about right here so.. sorry not sorry.

I’m torn between “I can fix her” and “she doesn’t need to be fixed.” Her bright, blue eyes were mesmerizing before and now they’re twice as gorgeous, even if she’s five seconds away from ripping off my limbs. Where’s Jade with that “What pretty eyes. Tell me, do they shine in the dark?” line when you need it. I’m a fan of that devilish smile too.

Sudden brief flashback to knock me out of my bewitched trace and land a critical hit on my heart, aaaah! No breaking promises allowed here! Especially if it involves your life! I’d much rather have you both keep your promises to each other please!

This whole ordeal inside her mind very much reminds me of when we looked upon Cocolia’s memories mid-battle, only this time we’re seeing Feixiao’s possible future if she chooses to follow in Hoolay’s footsteps and become the new borisin warhead. It was kinda reassuring learning about how our strong General does fear something, with how often rushes into battle without hesitation more often than not. Makes her feel more human rather than if she was truly fearless.

Kudos to her keeping her composure upon hearing about Jiaoqiu’s “death.” Feixiao either sees through Hoolay’s bluff and knows he’s only swaying her resolve so she cooperates with him as she’d have no other options of recovery without Jiaoqiu, or she trusts in her healer’s ability to stay alive. There could always be other reasons that I probably didn’t come up with too, I dunno, but her eyes did narrow upon hearing his name if memory serves correct. It does make me wonder why Hoolay didn’t straight up end Jiaoqiu’s life.. or perhaps he thought he did but never bothered to check? Which would’ve been so foolish but I digress. Still thankful that our handsome foxian is alive but hearing this taunt did worry me at the time.

Well, duh, of course Feixiao would refuse. If becoming the Xianzhou’s enemy is her worst fear, then I doubt she would yield to Hoolay and his plan, but I guess he didn’t think that point through very well. This also means General Huaiyan’s quote “Merlin’s Claw, you have betrayed the alliance” from the trailer was all a trick for us to believe Feixiao would turn on us too. Hoyo is being real deceiving this patch.

Oohh this flashback.. I knew bits about it already since I read Feixiao’s ascension character stories right when I got her but couldn’t remember off the top of my head which name belonged to Feixiao, but Hoolay eventually confirms that her real name before being saved by Yueyu and joining the Cloud Knights was Saran.

From trying to escape with Neergul, to the countless battles she’s fought it, Feixiao is always set on saving every possible life she can. No wonder she ate that cursed heart to spare the nearby foxians of madness.

The scene where she prays to Lan sorta reminds me of when Qlipoth gazed upon the Trailblazer and we gained the lance, if only because Feixiao’s battle axe comes crashing down from a beam of light moments later.

Speaking of heavenly beings, thank all the Aeons that we don’t technically fight Feixiao but Hoolay, who ends up transforming into her because if we had to harm this woman ourselves I’d be so sad. She’s been through enough fighting throughout her lifetime, I didn’t want to cause her any more pain! I’d lose the battle on purpose.

I’d gladly beat up Hoolay though. Especially after all the torment he caused Jiaoqiu. Feixiao certainly looks ready to give the warhead some hell too.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t too thrilled when we first learned we would be returning to the Xianzhou for the Wardance, but it turned out to be quite an experience. Half of my enjoyment of this continuance mission comes from how great the story was.. while the other half is strictly because of Feixiao. Of course I loved meeting and learning about the other new characters, especially the Yaoqing trio because they’re simply precious and I adore them all so much, but Feixiao just hit different for me in a way where I haven’t been this excited for character in a long time. She would no doubt be my favorite if Serval didn’t already exist.

I don’t know exactly why, but for some reason this frame reminds me of that one Jojo meme:

“Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?" "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer."

Ah right, at this point the boss battle already happened, yeah? I don’t have much to say about it either, which is odd.. all things considered. It didn’t give me any trouble either, thankfully. I don’t really remember the battle theme they used though, which is a bit of a letdown after leaving Penacony with Aventurine & Sunday’s boss themes in mind. I was expecting another bop of a soundtrack but oh well. I’ll have to go back and listen to it again. Perhaps I was just too focused on Feixiao to notice. That must be it. When that girl takes the jacket off then you know things are about to get serious.

The final slash of the battle axe after she and Hoolay charged straight at each other gives such anime fight scene vibes and I’m totally okay with it. Congrats on defeating your inner demon, sweetie.

Aww the kiddos. Props to them for standing up against Feixiao (and surviving) while helping her return to reality.

GOD that smile of hers is so soft and precious AAAHH. She’s so proud and thankful for their assistance and sorry for putting that kind of pressure on them.

DANGER! The happy feelings are effectively nonexistent and all I feel now is sheer PANIC. You can’t even give me a moment to relax huh, Hoyo?? Pretty sure I audibly gasped upon reading those last couple words.

Yeah it’s great that us and Moze were able to find Jiaoqiu wherever he was left to die, but to cut to this scene with Lingsha & Dan Heng right after was such a dirty move, like I’m already so worried about our foxian and now we gotta try and focus on something completely different? Aaahh.. I feel so bad because I’m sure finding out who orchestrated the prison break and their reasons for doing so were important to the plot but I just couldn’t find it in myself to care at this moment.

I did love seeing Dan Heng summon Cloud Piercer to attack this dude and send him flying into the wall. The scene happened so darn quick I couldn’t even manage to snag a decent screenshot, but what I enjoyed even more was Dan Heng getting smart with him by saying the rules preventing this man from getting hurt while at this location don’t exactly apply to him. I’m gonna chalk this up as another time we’re a bad influence on our companion. “Rules are made to be broken” after all.

Again, I wish I paid more attention to that last scene but I was way too concerned about Jiaoqiu and the aftermath of the boss battle to not speed through it. Anyways, one more post to go.

#honkai star rail #feixiao #dan heng #gameplay #revs rambles

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revenantghost · 2 years ago

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Hey! So i must i adore you analysis on Wolfwood as you compared his story beats to maximum and how they got changed, something that I dont really see people commenting on

I must say however, do you think vash and wolfwood are bound to have the same kind of relationship they had in trimax? I adore stampede like crazy and was enjoying it so much until around ep 10/11 where it got cleared they were very much going a seemingly different route than what we thought. And to be honest the moment i saw they pumped Knives and Vash dynamic like crazy got me thinking tristamp will be completely about them and not also Vash and WW/others (which i think is as important as K and V for trigun to work out) or tristamp will be mostly Vash and Knives and WW and Livio.

You seek to have a super optimistic (lol) look for s2 and beyond so i wonder if you think (either by beats laid out by tristamp, maybe i am too blind or pessimistic to realize them) there may be something similar to vash and wolfwood’s relationship in trimax???

Oh man, thank you so much!!! I’m honestly so happy that people even read that rambling because it’s been driving me absolutely bonkers. (I’m just gonna link that post here in case anyone’s interested)

But tl;dr: I think that it’ll be similar! Honestly, I think the Vash and Wolfwood dynamics have to be similar, because that’s such an integral part of Trimax. I jokingly called it the Vash and Wolfwood show to a friend when I started reading it—and yeah, that sums up a lot. Though I REALLY see your worries about this. I think we got a much heavier dose of Vash and Knives to really make the stakes super personal, but I have a feeling Knives will fall into the more distant role he takes in Trimax because, as he says, Nai is dead. Long live Knives.

Tristamp season one is a prologue, confirmed by the team very purposefully calling the continuing work the final phase despite saying the sky is the limit on future content depending on fan support. It speed ran a lot of stuff, and I think that was knowingly done because the staff has stated multiple times that they needed everything to be as perfect as possible, but they didn’t know how it would do. I don't even know if they thought they could do a second season. Trigun has historically not been popular outside of the cult following ’98 had in the west—Trimax was just an afterthought that many fans hadn’t read before Tristamp grabbed us all by the throats.

To touch on the other relationships, I like that Tristamp is that it's already expanding on characters that I felt could have spent more time in the spotlight. Like, I'm very eager to see where they take the girls! Because Meryl’s falling into the same role but with a vastly different career in this, and she’s already way more present . Why are they following Vash? How present will the girls be? MILLY!!! With Meryl ripping down Vash’s wanted poster at the end of season one, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s her mission to clear Vash’s name, and hijinks ensue. She already has deeper ties to Wolfwood than any other version before, which makes both of them stronger for it. I’m nervous to see how this all plays out because change scares me and I love this story so much lmao, but I do think it’s good! I already went off about how I love how important Meryl already is in the story, she’s a foil to Vash and the faith in himself he never had, and I feel like that only strengthens and reflects against the foils Vash and Wolfwood have going on. And Milly! I’m so excited to see where they go with her.

But this does change everything with Wolfwood. I keep thinking that Tristamp has changed Wolfwood fundamentally and keep needing to go back and rewatch because he is Wolfwood. He’s younger and rougher around the edges, but he’s still that moron I know and love. (Sometimes I’ll be reading fic and I don’t even realize that the person’s only seen Tristamp because they just get him and the dynamic right—Orange is doing a good job even if it scares me deeply lol)

I do have complete faith that they need to and will let Vash and Wolfwood’s dynamic shine just as brightly as it does in Trimax. I think, actually, a lot of that comes from outside of the text, though I could probably do another rewatch to pick up on all the loose threads they’re laying down to grow Wolfwood’s character and his dynamic with Vash in particular.

First, a new bit of info I saw recently is that the director, Kenji Muto? Apparently hasn’t even seen ’98, or at least hadn’t seen it as of making season one. Of course there are other writers on staff, and the crew has admitted to being huge Trigun nerds, but if your only exposure to Trigun is Trimax??? Wolfwood is massively important to Vash. Doing that dirty would be greatest sin you could make against this franchise.

Second, Nightow is so involved in creating this. He was involved way before most manga authors are brought in on anime, and even said that pretty early on he basically gave it his blessing and said that they got Trigun. (Though he still approved everything from then on as well.) And Wolfwood and his story arc in Trimax is so powerful and so moving. Nightow obviously had some significant investment and emotion in it, in Wolfowod and Vash’s relationship and journey. Like, I cry at things sometimes, generally just ooze tears, but Nightow and this damn manga made me sob. I can’t imagine he would tell the crew they understood Trigun without Wolfwood’s character and his ties to Vash being a priority. I know typically Japanese creators won’t throw shade at adaptations like we see in Western realms, but I rarely see the level of enthusiasm Nightow has for this project.

Okay, because this is getting long, and I’m getting into Trimax spoilers next, putting this next bit under a cut, continue at your own risk.

It’s actually funny, because for the end of that Wolfwood post, before I started my rewatch for it, I originally had a pretty specific prediction about what would happen. Then the ‘sky’s the limit’ on future content came out, and idk what to expect. I thought that the next season was going to be the Vash and Wolfwood show ala Trimax, we were going to fall in love with Wolfwood, and we were gonna have him couched at the end of that season. Because the couch is so essential, it’s so critical, but my god do I want this man to survive the narrative, if only once, and have it mean just as much. (Can you tell I’m torn on this every second of every day of my entire life) And after writing up that whole post I’m even more confused because I have no idea where the fuck they’re taking him. But at the same time, we have major plot threads tying us to that scene so much earlier. The vials existing way earlier, Livio and Razlo being introduced, that line about grieving but still deserving to smile and eat that Wolfwood gives Vash in the episode he’s introduced??? We're making everything more coherent and tied together, and fuck, we're screwed.

For now, all I’ve got is that I think some shit is going to happen to Wolfwood during our two-year time skip, maybe something with Chapel, idk how they’re going to inevitably use Livio against us, but we saw a softer Wolfwood in Tristamp. He needs to harden to be who we know. Orange said they’re going to be more like their other selves here, and though Wolfwood already has some faith in Vash, but he does not have faith in humanity. That’s the growth we have yet to see, and that’s what is really at the core of their relationship and development. It’s still there.

Many people who read Trimax are absolutely gutted and wrecked by the couch. That defines a lot of readers’ experiences—Wolfwood’s character arc is an absolute masterclass in writing a satisfying and meaningful conclusion for a character. So for them to change this much about someone who is that important, they have to have a plan, and a damn good one for Nightow to sign off on it. I’ve seen folks talk about how apparently the team spent the most time working on Knives, Vash, and Wolfwood’s characters (this one I haven't seen a source for), but as you said, we can already see it in the brothers’ relationship. They have a plan for Wolfwood. It’s only a matter of time before we’re wrecked by it.

Yeah, they are gonna keep doing stuff that you or I won’t agree with, or that we think could be better. Every version of Trigun is pretty flawed in certain ways imo, even though it might be beautiful or a favorite piece of media. But all of the concerns of mine that Orange could answer in the first season, they did so with flying colors and blew me out of the water. So don’t get me wrong, I’m scared. I’m so fucking terrified. Both Vash and Wolfwood are my favorite characters in Trigun in such different, integral ways to me. I love them deeply. And Orange is changing so much.

But Orange adores Trimax as much as I do. Nightow is 500% on board. So I’m biting my nails about it, but I choose to have faith. We’ll get wrecked by this adaptation, and I’d bet money on it if I had any lol

OOF, THAT WAS LONG. I hope this was actually helpful/useful and not just incoherent feral rambling!

#Trigun #Trigun Stampede #Tristamp #Trimax #Trigun Maximum #Trigun Meta #I guess???#This feels like rambling more than meta but idk man #All of my 'meta' feels like feral ramblings to me #God I'm so sorry about this #Ask #Anon #Yadda yadda #My Trigun Meta

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gin-juice-tonic · 2 years ago

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Hey Gin this might be a silly thing to ask, but how did you realize you were trans? Cause ever since I saw your trans Stan and Ford I think I had some sort of relivation, it started with just really enjoying the art you drew to me feeling some sort of envy. Either that I want to dress more masculine or that I actually want to be a man, cause honestly when I look at your trans stans I just feel so much gender envy (jealousy?) And on my last period I had a whole crying fit over it starting, which has never happened before. I just don't know if this is actually what I'm feeling or if it isn't. I've had thoughts of telling my mom and fearing the consequence. This is just all so new and I'm honestly scared. I figured I'd ask you since I look up to you and from what I've seen you are quite wise. I don't really know why I have so much self doubt and constantly flip flop over things. It's frustrating, I just wish I could be certain about something for once. Sorry about this, I'm a mess really.

It’s not silly to ask. My answer is unfortunately a little silly, because I’m a goober. I also typed A LOT so its all going under a read more

So, I was 16 and on tumblr even more than I am now, and I was (still am) friends with a trans woman who reblogged a post that was like “Just trans girl things: eating dark chocolate because it has substances similar to estrogen” and I went “Haha i guess I should stop eating it.” followed by “…why do I feel that way” and THAT was followed by quite the crisis.

Trans men weren’t as well known about back then, so I was like “Well, it means nothing, since only women can be trans”. And then I found out men could be trans too and that pushed my crisis further along. And I started to think. About how I liked when people defaulted to male pronouns for me on the internet, or how when i was a kid I would use a crazy amount of shampoo to make my hair look short and flatten my chest in front of the mirror and look at it. Things like that. And I got upset because “no i can’t be trans that’s impossible”. I would google things like “how do you know if you’re trans”, “quiz to see if you’re trans”, ect.

But the idea of being seen as a man was exciting. It was tantalizingly exciting. And I knew it could be possibility for me someday, and I knew that made a part of me happy and I couldn’t un-know it.

Final straw was a nonbinary person I had been following made a post about how they were going to start taking testosterone. And instead of feeling happy for them I just got mad and started sobbing to myself. Because I was so extremely jealous. So jealousy absolutely has its place in figuring things out.

You should think. Think about attaining the things you’re envious about. Does this make you happy? It’s okay if it’s upsetting or scary at the same time. Change often is. But if it makes you happy, excites you, gives you hope for the future, it’s worth thinking more about.

You don’t have to jump into telling your mom right away (and I wouldn’t really recommend it till you’re a little more sure of yourself). You can go at whatever pace you want to. I didn’t tell my mom (or anyone in my real life at all) till I was like, 20. And I’d known for 4 years at that point. You’ve sent me a tumblr message, so I’m assuming you’ve got an account here. I’d say asking your friends on this website to address you as male would be a good way to ease into things. And you can see if you like that or not.

For how you dress, again, you can ease into it. Personally it made me happy to dress in athletic clothing (especially tank tops- to show off my non existent guns), or to dress like a greaser (Though I preferred a black t shirt to a white one), or a golfer. None of those things particularly scream ‘man’ but they were man enough to me. You can find things man enough for you. If you want to try out a binder and think you can get one without anyone noticing, my first ever one was a Tri-top from Underworks. They’re like $30 or so. I was able to get away with buying it because I was a cosplay nerd so I just said it was for that.

If you’re the type of person who owns makeup- you could try to find some time alone just to have an experiment of mimicking drag king makeup, or makeup for cosplayers doing male characters. I did that once early on, and while it looked admittedly goofy, it made me ecstatic at the time.

Er sorry for things getting so long. But I just want to say lastly that self doubt is both normal and okay. And thinking far in the future (ie- things like coming out to people or hormones or anything like that) might scare you. But you can take things one step at a time if you want to. Play with just looking at clothes, making outfits on pinterest or whatever, imagining scenarios where people address you as male, thinking of names you might like. See what makes you happy, and expand on the things that do from there.

And regardless of what you discover, in the end you will have learned more about yourself. And that's always a good thing.

#long post #VERY LONG IM SORRY #ask stuff

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slipping-through-my-fingertips · 9 months ago

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Mr. Magic Duck

AO3

Part 1: “A Baby”

Summary: They tell Sally and Paul

They wait to tell people. It’s safer to wait until after the first trimester, Annabeth knows this, but it’s the hardest secret to keep.

At work, it’s easy. She sits in her office, meets with clients, and goes about her day as if nothing has changed. Except, she doesn’t have that second or third cup of coffee throughout the day. She sticks with the one Percy makes her at home every morning.

At home, with Percy, it’s easiest because he knows. He tries not to treat her any different but Annabeth can see how having a pregnant fiancée is disrupting his routine a bit. Like offering to do the dishes so she doesn’t have to stand for too long. To which, Annabeth usually replies that she sits all day and wouldn’t mind. So Percy dries and Annabeth washes as he tells her about his day.

It’s hardest around their friends and family. Sunday night dinners with Sally and Paul become acting practice. They’re decent liars and it’s not like Sally or Paul suspects anything. It’s really when they ask about wedding planning that it’s harder not to tell them.

When Sally asks, “when are we going dress shopping?” All Annabeth pictures is a tight mermaid dress hugging a little baby bump.

When Paul asks how much of their godly side is invited, Annabeth sends up a prayer to everyone up at Olympus to not interfere. She designed their new temples after several thousand revisions, they owe her this at least.

In all honesty, Annabeth isn’t sure if Athena would come if invited. She knows Poseidon would likely show up, their reception venue is at the beach. Annabeth’s mom never really approved of Percy even though they’ve saved the world twice.

Estelle is the only one they can trust. All she asks about is playing dress up or staying late enough to read her bedtime stories.

But Annabeth is counting the days until her second trimester begins. Even as she crosses over, she starts to feel differently about keeping this secret.

It’s something that’s just theirs right now. Does she really want to share this with the world? If they tell Sally and Paul, they can’t leave Annabeth’s dad and stepmom in the dark. Then, her brothers will know too. And it just goes on from there.

When Percy comes home, he finds Annabeth in their bedroom. It’s a rare day when she arrives home first. Her last meeting had ended at 4 so she finished up some work from home. Her laptop is pushed aside and she’s laying half under the covers. Not asleep, just deep in thought.

Percy moves the laptop from the bed and crawls in behind her.

“What’s going on?” He asks, “you’re thinking very loudly.”

“If it’s so loud, you should already know what I’m thinking.”

“You’re worried about telling my mom about the baby,” he says, instantly proving that Annabeth should stop doubting him.

Percy has always understood her best.

“What I can’t figure out is why, you know she’s going to be thrilled to be a grandma. Gods, she talks about our future kids like they already exist sometimes.”

“One does,” Annabeth comments.

“No, like with a full blown personality and stuff. This one,” he touches her still flat stomach, “barely has fingers and toes.”

“What if she thinks it’s too soon? We didn’t plan to get pregnant.”

“Annabeth, if you honestly think my mom is going to lecture us about having this kid, you’re crazy. We live together, we’re getting married, we are mostly responsible.” She elbows him. “Okay you’re responsible and I’m sometimes adult enough to do taxes.”

He can’t see her smile but she does it anyway.

Life gets away from them. They miss Sunday dinner, which postponed telling Paul and Sally for almost two weeks.

But they’re back at the dining room table again. Percy is trying to tell his mom not to pick up everyone’s dishes. In the end, he and Paul load the dishwasher together. Estelle is telling Annabeth about her new rubber duck.

“He’s got a top hat!”

“Why don’t you go grab him?” Sally says, “he’s on the bathroom counter.”

Estelle sprints upstairs yelling “Mr. Magic Duck!” all the way.

Percy and Paul come back to the table. Annabeth grabs Percy’s hand. They’re sitting directly across from his parents. Two people who have always accepted her. Sally who truly was the mother Annabeth needed.

Telling Sally first meant the world to Annabeth. At first, they wanted to do something grand but it didn’t really matter how they did it. It was going to be special no matter what. It was going to be memorable no matter what.

“She’s so excited about this duck,” Paul tells them, smiling.

“We’re really excited too,” Percy replies.

Annabeth stares at him, like seriously that’s the best segway he could give her.

“I’m pregnant.”

It’s like they don’t hear her at first but Annabeth knows they did because the table is silent. Then Sally throws her chair back, muffles her sobs and pulls Annabeth up and into a hug. Paul is saying something to Percy, likely congratulations, but Annabeth is too absorbed by Sally.

Her hugs are all healing. It’s like a superpower.

“I am so happy for you,” Sally says. “Both of you.”

She lifts her head up from Annabeth’s shoulder and pulls her son into the hug.

It’s then when Estelle returns, duck in hand.

“Why is mommy crying?” She asks Paul.

“She’s very very happy right now.”

Sally lets go of Annabeth and Percy and turns to her daughter.

“Look! Mr Magic Duck!”

When Sally begins to laugh, Annabeth joins in. Percy wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses her cheek.

“Stopping Sally Jackson from happy tears? That is indeed a magic duck.”

#percabeth #Percabeth fanfic #Percabeth fanfiction #my fics

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 11 months ago

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Hey

Just saw everything that happened around your recent post about Harry and Ron and I’m really sorry for everything that you had to go through, I hope you are alright. Please do not let unreasonable people bring down your spirit, you are an amazing soul and an amazing writer (thoroughly enjoyed Back to the Eclipse); you have no idea how much your metas have helped people like me.

I have always loved reading but as the rebellious teen that I was I refused to read anything that was very popular so I had never read the Harry Potter books or watched the movies and I was kinda oblivious to the situation of the fandom as well. However last year I decided to read the books and guess what I absolutely fell in love with Ginny and Harry both as individual characters and as a couple(perks of reading the series without any preconceived biases), both of them are my top two favourite characters in the series (though Ginny kinda takes the crown for me). After finishing the series I was really excited to see what interesting opinions and takes people have not just for Ginny and Harry but for other characters in the series as well. However due to my inexperience with fandoms in general, the stupid me decided to start with reddit and quora (I still don’t understand why I did that to myself) and OMFG, the amount Ginny and Harry hate literally drove me crazy.

Honestly from the beginning I didn’t have much expectation from HarryXanyone other than Ginny shippers and Hermione’s arse worshippers; but the romione shippers and Ron fans????

The way the Ron and Romione fans slander Ginny (and also Harry, but to a much lesser extent than Ginny) was truly disturbing for me to read which lead me into questioning my own judgement about Ginny’s character and Hinny and I started believing that maybe I’m completely wrong about everything I thought about Ginny and Harry, because I really love Ron and I like romione as well despite all its problems and I thought that those people on the interenet have read the books so many more times than I have so “inevitably” they have to be right (and all of this I have to say was a very wrong thing on my part, though in my defence I was really busy with my Uni so I didn’t really have the time to think through things).

Then one fine day I stumbled upon your tumblr and you wouldn’t believe my happiness to finally come across someone who shares my ideas and opinions about characters, writing and literature in general but is much better and fearless than I can ever be in expressing those opinions. Your metas have reinforced my love for Ginny and Harry as individual characters and a couple again and has inspired me to be absolutely shameless in expressing my love for them. In fact you have also kinda inspired me to start my own tumblr account and ramble about my favourite characters, books and literature which I might do in near future.

Sorry for the rant

Please continue to be the amazing person that you are and continue to inspire people.

Loads of love from India

Ok, first of all, you guys are so nice but I swear what happened is absolutely not a big deal.

People are absolutely free to disagree with what I say, even if I wish they did it when there's actually something two people can have different opinions on.

That said, I'm so happy you liked Back to the Eclipse and that my metas arrived to someone. It's really crazy the gaslighting this fandom does when it comes to hinny, isn't it?

Also, I am so happy to have inspired you to share your opinions!

#it's really not a big deal #but I appriciate the love

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some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too · 2 years ago

Note

do you do any character x reader? if so, can you do the boys with a S/O who wants to be famous?

i don’t have many ideas for this, but i’ll see what i can do!

Darry

i think he would be supportive but he’d also keep you grounded, yk like he’d tell you “there’s a lot of hard work that goes into achieving these things, they don’t just happen overnight”

following my other point, he’d help you out a lot. i could see you guys staying inside some Saturday making vision boards and planning out what you need to do to achieve each goal

if you wanted to be a singer or something, he would encourage you to preform in bucks. even if nobody was listening, it would help you get more comfortable preforming in front of people

Ponyboy

I think he would be very supportive because I personally hc that he wants to be an author, I mean he did write the book itself, it makes sense!

You two would probably spend hours lying in the lot talking about the future, talking about when you’re famous. The rest of the gang would call you both crazy, but it doesn’t bother either of you.

Since he’s younger, although he knows the score, I still think he doesn’t realise just how much work goes into fame, or the downsides of it.

Sodapop

This man is 100% on board with you. For goodness sake he probably wants to be your agent or something!

If you want to be a singer or a musician, he’s making you do private concerts for him. If you want to be an actor, he’s getting ponyboy to write a script for you two to act out together (even though he normally can’t keep a straight face). Soda is doing everything to help you.

Part of him thinks he’s holding you back though, which is why he tries to help so much. If you do end up moving to keep up with your career, he’s encouraging you to, but he’s telling you to leave him behind. so you’re gonna have to remind him just how much you love him, and that without him you probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as you have

Dally

In all honesty? I don’t think he’d be supportive. I’m a firm believer in soft Dallas, but i just can’t see him supporting you if you wanted to be famous. It’s nothing against you, he just doesn’t believe it could happen to anyone. (listen, he’s lost all faith in the world, do you really think he believes anyone can achieve their dreams??)

Although, if you want to be a singer, he’d book you a gig in bucks. He does believe that it’s as far as you’ll ever go though.

You two might get into a few arguments over it. He lived in New York for a long time, he’s seen the people that wanted to be famous and ended up unhappy, working as a waitress or something. he doesn’t want that for you.

Johnny

Honestly i think he’d be the same as Ponyboy except that he doesn’t want to be famous.

Since i just love to write angst for Johnny i think he’d make you promise that you won’t forget him. That you’ll bring him with you if you’re leaving Tulsa.

Two-bit

This man can’t take anything seriously. he’d probably make jokes like “somebody stop those crows” when you’re singing. But it’s all just for jokes and if you tell him it upsets you, he’ll stop.

He’s completely supportive and would go to all your gigs, even if he was bored or tired or smth

Ok hear me out, yk “groupies” (a fan of a rock group who usually follows the group around on concert tours) thats two-bit, or at least what he calls himself. Seriously he’s like your own personal cheerleader. let’s be honest he’d also be like a freaking bodyguard

Steve

I’m not so sure about whether Steve would be supportive or not- i think he’d very much so think that people only get famous if they’re in the big city, it just doesn’t happen for people like him and the gang.

i also think that he just doesn’t understand why someone would want to be famous. All that attention just isn’t for him.

Maybe he’d be more supportive if you wanted to be a football player or something. He thinks that it’s based on your skill rather than talent or luck.

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders x yn #darry curtis #ponyboy curtis #dallas winston #johnny cade #sodapop curtis #steve randle #two-bit mathews #the outsiders x ponyboy

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why485 · 2 years ago

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From what I can tell, this is the final stretch. The school festival looks to take up this and next volume, with the final volume probably being some kind of wrap up.

I guess doing this now, I have the benefit of knowing that there is an ending, and when it’ll happen, which has been influencing my thought process. Honestly, if I didn’t already know that the manga was finished I probably wouldn’t have picked it up. Though, I guess I don’t really know for sure that there’s a clear winner. I’m just assuming.

Without further ado, the last Fuutaroubowl update, as of chapter 98.

Ichika 0% - With moving out and separating herself from the quints, Ichika has in my view conceded. There’s just too much baggage here, and I don’t know, I kind of get the impression that Ichika hates herself. While she recently had a, to put it lightly, lapse in judgement, she’s knows better than to try and start a relationship now.

Nino 5% - That 5% is more just an anime mulligan because she’s so funny and is the one who is still very actively and seriously trying. However, I think because she’s trying so hard is also why she can’t win. She has gotten way more interesting as a character though, so regardless of her chances I think I’m coming around to liking Nino?

Miku 0% - I love Miku so much. She’s super honest with herself and at this point is more just really introverted than shy in any way that causes trouble. She’s finally, in her own way, confessed, but it comes across as much as a bittersweet goodbye as it did a confession. Miku knows what she wants to do, and is willing to go through with it even if it means potentially bowing out of the race. She can’t win, but she’s still my favorite quint.

Yotsuba 50% - While not narratively the first girl, she was chronologically the first. Unlike everybody else, who feel like they’re at the end of their arcs, Yotsuba is still at the beginning and has several volumes to grow. Itsuki was the only quint that still feels like she might have a chance, but unlike Yotsuba she has no outstanding desire to get together with him, they just get along really well. It is kind of crazy that Yotsuba has held onto feelings for a guy she met literally one time when they were a kid, but to be fair that encounter left a pretty marked impact on her. Talk about dedication, in her own weird way.

Itsuki 35% - How the mighty have fallen. I still really like Itsuki as a character, and I think the relationship she has with Fuutarou is really enjoyable to watch. However, with the Yotsuba reveal and the part Itsuki has played it in, it feels like she’s switched roles with Yotsuba and is the new support. Like most of her sisters, Itsuki has a goal in mind, and is planning to pursue it. She still has a great relationship with Fuutarou, but it’s seeming more and more like Itsuki just doesn’t see him that way.

Quints 1% - This is back down to 1%, because thematically a goofy anime style harem crazy ending wouldn’t fit. It, surprisingly, feels too grounded for something like to that happen at this point. Each of the sisters (except Yotsuba?) are forming plans and going their own way. Along with accepting that high school is almost over, the reality is that they will in all likelihood get separated as they go after their own dreams. It’s a bit bittersweet, but the realism of it gives the story its weight.

And finally, a note on Fuutarou himself: As the series has gone on, I’ve come to really appreciate the writing of his character. He actually is his own guy, and aside from like one or two things, he doesn’t really fall for typical anime idiot MC tropes. He actually understands the position he’s in right now, that at some point he will have to make a choice, and it’s clearly weighing heavily on his thoughts. I might talk more about this in a future post, but he’s pretty good.

I feel like Yotsuba’s 50% should be higher, because at this point it’s hard to imagine anyone else winning, but it just doesn’t feel right yet. It’s almost more by process of elimination than anything else. That said, if I had to call it right now, it’d be Yotsuba. It’d take a pretty huge twist for somebody else to come back, but this series isn’t above those.

#gotoubun #the quintessential quintuplets #fuutaroubowl #the final countdown #man i really wonder how the anime handles this

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fighting4ml · 11 months ago

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Rid me of these energies. Maybe it’s cause I’m empathetic as well … it’s just why don’t his energy come off as alarming to me is what I don’t get.

But yk what. I’m normally real cool in da face of demons. Idgaf really. We can wreck it out. Fight argue. Like air bitch I’m fluid. We can be on whatever time nigga

Mines coming for me. Bitch fuck you. You’re lost and I got a soft spot for pussy niggas dat need sun help idk maybe cause I always felt like the protecter.

Keem. You put me in harms way. Countless times. By your own hand and it was unintentional. Sure. Don’t change da facts.

Yea ite bet. I get it. I had a couple soft spots for some bitches. My bad. Ay ma why don’t you take care of yo sons bitch tell em get on den. Where you leading dem to? Huh tf bro. Yea you wouldn’t have liked me. But honestly I probably wouldn’t have met those niggas. So it was by the grace of God I was a curious dumb ass. I know I ain’t heal them boys. Prolly put a lil more on em. But shit i ain’t mean to. Guess you did the best you could to. Heard u was a lil crazy like me 🤣 awh now it makes me wish or think maybe. It’s whatever. I did my best. I really did. I loved them. If you could ask G to show you my heart. I did love em. The best way I could and knew how. U seen this shit. So sorry if I wasn’t better at it for them.

I gotta let God work. Them ain’t my kids. But I’m grateful for you. Honestly so much. We showed each other unconditional love. Well they showed me .. I can only hope they got some good shit from me to. ):

It hurts and sucks I gotta leave them behind. But iguess yk that already. Lol I just sense this attitude that’s infuriated w power. From you lol it’s like intimidating and respectable at the same time. I see you. I get cha. U don’t scare me lol. But I’m being respectful. Idk man, help them.

I can’t help it. I love them both. Which means I don’t love em at all. Especially not the first one. Cause then I wouldn’t have fallen for the 2nd.

I pray for your first born. A lot. More than myself… and it’s weird cause I never found myself praying for anybody really until him. I feel this thing w him ma. And I’ve been trying so hard to shake it.

I know he loves his brother. I can’t help it that I love him. So what do I do. I leave it alone. I try. I ain’t ever felt pulled to someone so strong. It’s been a couple years now 😒 and I … I still love him. And I get these chills when I think about him. And idk if it’s good or bad or not but it feels good. And I don’t want to believe he’s evil but iguess I don’t want to believe he doesn’t love me either. That I could feel soooo … whatever man . Tripping right? Ugh kinda want to call grandma … anybody that can give me a real opinion. But iguess everybody’s opinion is no so just make me want it more iguess. Fucking human qualities. Ma I’m sorry I hurt keem moe fuck. It was bound to happen tho… anyway right. Yk I wasn’t for him. But you liked what I was doing for him.

You working? Givin him signs and shit ? Ok

I give a fuck ok? Shoot me. I ain’t scared bitch 🤣 jk no disrespect

UGH CAN U DO SOMETHING GET THEM out my energy

🥺 even though I’ll miss them so. Take care of em okay? Can you send them love? Hope? Some happiness. Some healing ma… if nothing else can you send them some healing. They need it. They miss you. But yk that. I wish I could do more … I just don’t want to keep jeopardizing myself, my intuition, heart, future or safety physically and spiritually. So I gotta let ‘em go.

Gusss u been waiting on that to. If it was keem it would’ve been him. If it was Shawd… he wouldn’t came to me. Talked to me… anything. So it’s not mutual. So I have to let them go.

Much love.

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sil-and-seals-blog-something · 1 year ago

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(Sorry for taking a bit longer than planned. I was gonna respond and then I got side tracker with compiling some stuff into a doc-)

Dick’s just having a time™, ya know, as he does (Dick’s been through a lot throughout his comics history). I’d like to think that he’d eventually get an opportunity to give closure to the whole situation through helping Tim set something up for an Everlasting Insomnia outing.

Vortex working with four “civilians” to bust a cult that wanted to bind him is great. The cult’s just infuriated but so broken up that there’s no recovering from what happened. And with the gossipy nature of the Infinite Realms? Their shame is basically be broadcasted to the entire supernatural community. Their reputation is in shambles.

Ellie and Damian would team up and absolutely shatter people with words. Jarro is in the background cheering them on (he’s too nice to psychologically hurt someone… to the degree that Ellie and Damian would-). Bruce is honestly probably happy to see Damian switching from physically violent to psychologically violent. Like, you can’t tell me that Bruce wouldn’t live for seeing people he dislikes at Galas being verbally eviscerated (even if he sometimes has to scold Damian in public for it, he does treat Damian to a petting zoo or zoo trip afterwards though).

Alfred teaching Ellie secret agent stuff and the JL just knowing that Phasma is now being equipped to cause so much more chaos & dreading that is great. Phasma is now on the list of heroes that can be entrusted to infiltrate (I also imagine that Ellie has really good shapeshifting, which makes it easier, even if she doesn’t need it with Alfred’s training). The real threat though is when she picks up Alfred’s disappointed, raised eyebrow look.

Babs, Cass, Steph, Ellie, and Sam being let loose on Gotham for a girls’ night sounds like a recipe for some people getting new traumas. Especially if they start sometimes inviting the Sirens to the girls’ nights.

I love the idea of everyone having to check if the Everlasting Insomnia four are at a Gala. The press? Have to be behaved (Vicki learnt this the hard way). Gala attendees? Have to be cautious of what they say and do because those four seem to sense when they do something that warrants their ire. Rogues? They get chucked out if they attack while those four are at a Gala. People outside of Galas though? Love hearing all the drama the four cause. Their such Gothamite Gothamites, even if three of them only came to Gotham because they wanted to treat Arkham Asylum like an escape room vacation. They’re crazy enough to stand out in Gotham, but in a good way, and- by the spirit of goddamn Lady Gotham- the Gothamites swear that they’ll do anything to keep those four.

Jason working up to getting a therapist with the help of Jazz is great. He’s got so many problems to sort through and things to decide. Him just working towards reaching a future that he thinks he’ll be happy with is just so feel good feels.

Dp x dc prompt cause I'm bored

So we all know the classic angst trope in Tim Drake fics where Dick wants/wanted to put Tim in Arkham bc he thinks Tims crazy and a danger to himself/the family for thinking Bruce was still alive. Dick actually does that here, bro puts Tim in Arkham

While wrongfully stuck in Arkham Tim finds himself befriending 3 fellow inmates who seem a lot less intense than most Arkham inmates. Classic "what're you in for" conversation (doesn't really matter how or why the everlasting trio got in Arkham, maybe they're antiheros, maybe they're just treating it like an elaborate escape room, who knows) and when Tim tells a semi-less detailed version of his scenario and his fellow inmates are just like "aw what, that's bogus >:0" and "bro thats not even that crazy of a theory 😒"

Next thing Tim knows his new friends are like "we'll help u find ur dad bro :)" (Tims lowkey glad his new meta friends offered to help cause his first choice was the LoA and that probably wouldn't have ended well) and they plan their breakout, which lucky for them Joker and a bunch of rogues break out a week later and they sneak away in the frey

#dpxdc #everlasting insomniacs

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xenomoroboros · 3 years ago

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Ohmygod what if i woke up early to shower and make myself a sandwich to take to school before class. Would that be fucking off the charts bonkers or what

#Is that not insane person thoughts #idek like what i should be prepared for tmrw i feel like giving up tbh happy finals week…. who care #AAAAAAA jk imchill #she speaks #wouldn’t that be crazy though like i honestly do not see a future in which im that kind of bitch. feels quite unattainable

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lovebeinaprincessworld · 2 years ago

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Challenging fate (Tom Riddle x reader)

soulmate!au

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Epilogue

Description: There were a lot of unexpected things happening the day of the Battle of Hogwarts. Being send back into the past to change the course of history was definitely one of them.

2106 words

And of course Dumbledore was right. As soon as you stepped around the corner a few corridors away from his office, you stood infront of Tom. Simultaneously you wondered if this was even Tom anymore. His expression was hard and serious and you had no idea what he was thinking. “Where the hell were you?”, he asked with a deathly calm voice and gripped your upper arms tightly.

This was way scarier than if he would’ve yelled. The lack of an answer seemingly made him even more angry and his grip on you tightened to the point it was starting to hurt and you were sure you’d have bruises. “Tom stop, you’re hurting me”, you whispered, averting your eyes getting anxious at the thought of being face to face with the monster he could become.

His grip immediately loosened and you could feel his posture sagging a little. “I’m sorry I…I didn’t mean to I was just so worried, you were gone for over a day!”, he exclaimed his stoic mask falling and a worried tone finding its way into his voice. Not answering again, you gave into your urge and pulled him into your arms, your natural instinct telling you to comfort your soulmate.

No matter what was written on that note, you still loved him. And maybe Dumbledore was right and there was a logical explanation for everything. Please, just please let there be an explanation, you thought. Without noticing, your tears were wetting his sweater and he pulled away slightly. “Please, tell me what happened?”, he asked again, but this time he sounded way more caring than before.

You took a deep breath and pulled yourself together. Now was the moment, you had to tell him now. Wiping your tears away you became aware again that you were still in the middle of the hallway. “Come on, I’ll tell you everything”, you had to swallow down more tears and guided Tom to the Room of Requirements.

Tom was looking at you slightly shocked when he realized what you were doing, walking up and down infront of the wall. Of course he knew about the room, why did you ever think he didn’t. “You know-“, he started when you stepped into the cozy small library with comfortable couches and armchairs you summoned. “I’ll explain later”, you cut him off, which you could tell he didn’t like, because an unhappy frown made its way into his face.

“Sit sown?”, you asked after you sat down yourself on a couch and he was still standing there rigidly. Slowly he made his way over and sat next to you. “Okay, I have to tell you something”, you sighed slightly overwhelmed. “I honestly don’t know where to start and everything I tell you will also sound absolutely crazy, so please let me finish okay?”, you looked at him pleadingly and after a few seconds he just nodded with a guarded look in his eyes.

“First of all I want you to know that I love you Tom, I really do”, you wanted to make sure he knew you had been honest about your feelings. He just stared at you willing you to continue but it still hurt a little that he didn’t say it back. You could understand him though, considering you’ve been gone a whole day and now are taking him here and were behaving so strange.

“Okay so, I’m gonna give you a quick idea of what happened, but the easiest way for you to believe me and really understand every single thing, is for you to…use Legilimency when I’m done”, you told him this first so he wouldn’t run for the hills when you told him you’re from the future.

“How do you know I can-“, he started shocked, but you cut him off again. “You’ll see”, you smiled a little, “just promise me you will?” “I don’t know (Y/N), it would not feel right to invade your privacy like that”, he visibly had his doubts which gave you hope again that not everything was lost. “I understand and I love you for being so considerate, but I need you to promise me you’ll do it?”, you emphasized the importance of this, taking his hands into yours and he let you.

Staring into your eyes for a moment he nodded and you continued. “This may sound crazy, but to get to the point, Tom I’m…from the future”, you finally said it out loud, feeling immediately relieved but also anxious. His face looked at you disbelievingly, but he stayed silent so you continued. “More precisely I’m from 1998 and I was sent back in time by Professor Dumbledore. This is really hard to say out loud, because we’ve been together for a year already and I feel like you’re not that person, but…in the future nobody knows you under the name Tom Riddle anymore.”, you had to take a short break willing back the lump in your throat, Tom’s face looked like it turned into stone the entire time.

“Everyone just calls you Lord Voldemort, He who must not be named or you know who”, you told him and the Name Voldemort broke him out of his trance. “How do you know-“, he had a slightly panicked look on his face (as far as Tom could look panicked), but again you cut him off. “I told you I’m from the future”, you gave him a sad smile, “anyway, the point is I’m here because Dumbledore found out I am your soulmate and thought that maybe if we met I would be able to prevent all the horrible crimes you…you would be committing in the future.”

Following your full confession a long heavy silence ensued and you both didn’t move. “Why are you telling me all of this now?”, Tom broke the silence with a cold voice letting go of your hands and your chest was hurting slightly, scared of what might come. You hurried to pull out the note out of your pocket and handed it to him. He didn’t seem to recognize it at first but when he read the word on it his icy mask cracked again.

“This fell out of your pockets when you hurried off to meet your followers yesterday”, you whispered, the word followers slipping out and his head snapped up probably wondering how much you knew. “That’s why I was gone, I spent the night in here because I didn’t know…”, you let the rest of the sentence hang in the air, your voice chocking up at the uncertainty of your future together.

At the sight of the tears welling up in your eyes Tom seemed to feel forced to say something, but his mouth only opened and closed a few times, not knowing what to say to all of this. “I…I want to show you the future you will face if you really go through with everything Tom, a future without me, because I won’t be by your side if you choose this path”, you quietly said, pointing to the piece of paper still in his hands.

At the mention of a future without you he looked uneasy but tried to hide this from you. “Show me”, he said and looked up again into your eyes. You just nodded and kept your eyes locked on his, concentrating on opening your mind to make this easier, and quicker than you thought you felt his presence in your mind. You saw him look through everything from your childhood to finding out you were a witch like your sister, going to Hogwarts and meeting Harry and Ron and Susan and all your other friends. It didn’t feel unpleasant though, it felt intimate and soft.

Finally he arrived at the point where Voldemort started to rise again and saw himself in he ministry fighting against Harry. He went through all the things you learned about his past and the Horcruxes and he saw the horrible year under Umbridge and the day of Dumbledore’s death when the Deatheaters attacked. At last he saw you fight in the Battle of Hogwarts, narrowly avoiding unforgivable curses left and right and then he saw himself again, more clearly this time.

Laughing about the death of Harry and you being pulled away from the scene. He even looked into your life with him a little, maybe to make sure you were indeed not lying about loving him. Just as suddenly as this started, it ended again and the room came back into focus. Tom was panting, gripping the couch so hard his knuckles turned white.

His pupils were blown wide and he looked so vulnerable you were pushing down the urge to pull him into you, wanting to wait how this turned out. “That…that thing was me?”, he said after calming his breathing a little, sounding thoroughly shocked. “Yes”, you whispered looking at him uncertainly.

A long silence followed, Tom deeply in thought and you were waiting for something - anything - to leave his mouth. “The note wasn’t from this year, I looked them up some time last October and forgot it was in my coat pocket”, he finally said meeting your eyes. You were relieved about this confession. “Does that…does that mean you’re not planning anything like that?”, you looked at him hopefully and he took your hands again. “No. I was not planning anything like that since Christmas last year and nothing I just saw changed my mind. And before you ask, when I meet with my friends, believe me they are not my followers - anymore at least - we do not plan to take over the world”, he told you and you were so incredibly relieved about him saying that, that you couldn’t hold back anymore, and as if reading your mind, he pulled you into his arms.

A few silent tears trickled down your cheeks again but you pulled yourself together before he pulled back a little. “But…what about being immortal Tom? I know how much effort you were planning to put into that”, you silently asked and he took your chin between his fingers. “I would rather spent one lifetime with you than hundreds without you”, he whispered and a small genuine smile made its way onto his face, “and as you may have noticed already, I do not think the way I did about muggleborns anymore either, thanks to you.” You couldn’t help but smile too, and he closed the distance between you two, pressing his lips to yours softly.

“I think you did change me after all”, he chuckled after pulling back a bit, but instead of answering you pulled him right back.

You knew you still had to talk to him about going back to the future, and again (may it be because of the soulmate bound or not) he seemed to know exactly what was weighing on your mind. “Don’t you want to ask me something?”, his face held a small smirk. You knew that he saw the decision he had to make in your mind and having no idea what he thought about it, you were rather reluctant to ask him to make it.

“Would you…would you come back to the future with me?”, you decided to overcome the fear and get it over with. He smiled at you and answered right away. “I will go with you”, he whispered softly laying his forehead against yours. To say you were shocked would be an understatement, but knowing you wouldn’t answer him right away he just kissed you gently, making you lean into him.

“Tom are you sure? I just…can’t believe you’re leaving it all behind just like that”, you said doubtfully, though still happy that he wanted to come with you. “I’m not leaving everything behind ‘just like that’”, he told you, “I’m choosing a future with you, a happy one as I dare to hope and not the miserable one that would have awaited me without you. I can not believe I am saying that, but I am really grateful to Dumbledore for sending you to me.”

“And regarding your point that I am leaving everything behind, what is there to leave? The people I associate with in my house? Or my muggle father and the damned orphanage?”, he asked me seriously and I realized that maybe, if there is nothing good in your life, it’s easy to slip down a dark path.

“Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. And maybe it will give you some sense of closure. But you should probably think about if there are things you want to do before we go back”, you added, slowly stroking his cheek making him lean into your hand. “I will, we can talk to Dumbledore later. But for now, can we just stay here for a while?”, he asked and you nodded with a smile, relaxing into his arms, incredibly glad that it did turn out this way.

———————————

Only one chapter and the epilogue left I feel kinda sad :( anyway hope you enjoyed!!

@darkenwolfie @salleun @dannalikestoread

#tom riddle x reader #x reader #granger!reader #harrypotter #hogwarts #hufflepuff reader #soulmate!au #soulmates #tom riddle #the dark lord

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years ago

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WILDEST FANTASIES (part 16)

⚫️A/N: THIS IS THE INFINITY WAR OF WF AND THE ENDGAME IS SO CLOSE!!! okay sorry i needed to make this reference lol but it is absolutely true! bc of a sudden idea i have decided to end the story this weekend so i sat down and started writing like crazy and here we are! meaning that part 17 which is the last part of the series as you know, will be posted ON SUNDAY!! and now... enjoy the second to last update of WF!

⚫️PAIRING: Professor!Harry X Reader

⚫️WORD COUNT: 7.3k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry has turned into a teenager again, jumping with excitement every time he gets a new text, huffing and puffing whenever it’s anyone else than you.

Keeping your word, just two days after meeting him you texted him with a few apartments that you thought would be fitting for him. Honestly, Harry would have let you suggest him to check out a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant if it meant he got to talk to you just a tad bit longer in texts.

It was a surprise for Harry when you offered to join him when he checks out some of the apartments, but he would have never rejected. He would be stupid to give up on time to spend with you, that’s all he wants.

Now it’s been three weeks since the two of you had the chat that was supposed to happen three years ago. Better late than never, right? Harry just finished work for the day and he is rushing back home to get ready to check out another apartment with you in an hour. Barging through the front door he finds Niall in the kitchen, on the phone, with a stack of paper laid out in front of him as he hums and nods along to whatever the other person is saying on the other end. Harry waves his way and just disappears in his room to freshen up and change. Seeing you regularly has definitely gotten him out of a bit of a ditch he let himself falling into, he keeps his beard in check, only lets it grow out to be a stubble, he definitely spends more time figuring out what to wear and he’s been even experimenting to take care of his hair other than washing it every few days. You’ve become such a breath-taking woman in the past years, always dressed nicely and taking good care of yourself, he can’t look like a hobo next to you.

It wouldn’t matter though, it’s not like he is dating you, the tiny, evil voice reminds him from time to time, but he makes sure to forget about that tiny detail.

He is standing in front of the mirror, buttoning up his shirt when Niall appears at his door, curiously eyeing his friend.

“I assume you’re not going on a date with an actual woman who you can actually date,” he comments pursing his lips and Harry’s gaze meets his in the mirror.

“We’re checking out another place. Don’t you want me to get out of here so you can have your home back?”

“First of all, I thought we were having fun rooming together!” he gasps dramatically. “Second, I’m happy you’re friends with her and don’t mope around anymore, but it looks like you want more than just friendship while she has a whole ass boyfriend.”

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious,” Harry rolls his eyes. “But I’m fine with just being friends.”

“And what, are you gonna just… be the flower boy at her wedding? The uncle to her future kids? That’s weird.”

“Yeah, and it’s not gonna happen,” Harry frowns, grabbing his phone from the charger. “But what do you want me to do? It’s all I have.”

“I thought you’d fight for her,” he shrugs, leaning against the doorframe.

“I will not get her into trouble. She is in a relationship, I’m here if she… wants to do… anything with me, but I won’t push her to do anything.”

“Yeah, but some flirting wouldn’t hurt.”

“What happened to becoming a better person?” Harry huffs, swinging his bag to his shoulder.

“It’s a long process,” Niall sighs. “But just so you know, I won’t judge you if you try to shoot your shot. Again.”

Harry stops and looks at his friend, thoughts racing in his head that have been bothering for a while now but he wasn’t sure if he should share it with anyone.

“I just… don’t know if she wants me that way anymore. I might be bolder if she just gave me a crumble, the tiniest hint that she still has some of the feelings she had for me.”

“I see,” Niall nods. “It’s a tough situation. But you look a lot better lately, so I’m happy for that.”

“I feel better,” he admits. “I really missed her.”

“Shocker,” Niall rolls his eyes. “Alright, I have a business dinner tonight, might even go out for a few drinks, don’t wait for me.”

“I never do,” Harry chuckles.

Not even an hour later Harry is in a two bedroom apartment in Greenwich with a reasonable rent and his own washing and drying machine which is considered a miracle. As the owner is talking about the building and utilities, Harry knows he should be paying attention, but he can’t take his eyes off of you.

Wandering around in the spacious and empty living room, you’re wearing a power suit today with a long black coat, your hair up in a loose bun, a red bag hanging from your shoulder as you inspect the room around you. It’s the second place you’re checking out and probably the best place so far, but when Harry realized that finding his new place might be the end of this little apartment hunt he’s been doing with you, he started finding all the things he didn’t like about the homes he has seen.

“What do you think?” Harry asks, taking a look at the fireplace as he joins you in the living room.

“Spacious, nice, big windows and a washer and dryer. That’s very rare,” you smile, walking over to the window to check the view. “Do you like it?”

“It’s… not bad,” he hums, yet to find something against the place.

“You can use the second bedroom as an office and a huge bookcase would look amazing in here for all your books,” you muse, already seeing the room furnished in his style. You’re too busy imagining what it could look like to notice that Harry is only looking at you.

“How do you know I still have my books?” he asks and you huff rolling your eyes.

“Please, you’d rather sell your soul than get rid of your books.”

You’re right. And you’re right because even despite the three years gap, you still know him better than anyone, probably.

The owner joins you and takes Harry to show him the closet spaces, so you’re left alone in the living room when your phone buzzes. It’s Derek, again, he is asking if you want Chinese for dinner, he is probably on his way home.

Any normal girlfriend would be happy to spend their evening with their boyfriend and some takeout. But as you think about the option to go home to Derek and spend more time with Harry, you have no doubt which one you want more.

Y/N: I’m meeting with a friend for dinner. Don’t wait up Xx

Harry and the owner return just as you send the text and shove your phone back into your bag.

“So what do you think?” the lady asks with a bright smile.

“It’s nice,” Harry nods, looking around again.

“Right? Perfect for a young couple like you two, darlings!” she beams.

Harry almost chokes on his own saliva at her words, but it doesn’t faze you, if anything, your chest warms up as you just break a smile.

“No, that’s—“ Harry speaks up, but you cut him off.

“Exactly! It would be so nice as our first home we share, right?” you act along, linking your arm with his while ignoring how the thought of being a couple with Harry again fills you with bliss and joy.

“Uh, y-yeah, I guess,” Harry clears his throat and it’s comical how his ears are turning red.

The lady smiles brightly, telling you about the nearby park and the market that’s such a blessing on Sundays, but Harry is still hung up on how you just went along with the couple thing. His chest aches, imagining a parallel universe where it’s the truth and the two of you are looking for your new home as a couple, but that’s not his reality, because he hurt you in the past and you’re dating someone else.

“So how did you like it?” you ask him, when the two of you are leaving.

“It was good.”

“Are you gonna rent it out?”

“I’ll have to think about it, but it’s a nice candidate,” he nods to himself.

“We still have a few on our list to check out,” you tell him with a soft smile. “Hey, do you want to grab dinner?” you ask, pushing your guilt to the back of your mind about missing out to be with Derek and choosing to spend time with Harry instead. You know it’s alarming, that you’re more interested in being with your ex than your current boyfriend, but it’s been such a confusing time and you’re still figuring it out.

Twenty minutes later you’re sitting in an Italian place sharing a huge pizza with Harry, drinking wine and having a blast. Maybe you’ve already had a few glasses too much of that wine, but you’re just enjoying the buzz and letting loose.

“Alright, so tell me about your ex,” you blurt out as you grab another slice.

“My ex? Why?” Harry chuckles.

“Because I’m nosy. You’ve seen who I’m dating, I wanna know what she was like too.”

You’re being casual, curiosity truly the reason why you brought it up, but it roots deeper than that and you know it. The thought of Harry being with another woman has been circling around in your mind since you found out about it, but you don’t know enough about her.

“I told you, we met at a—“

“A bar, I know, I know!” you roll your eyes. “But what was she like?”

“Um, she is usually very calm and considerate. Definitely more mature than me,” Harry chuckles, playing with the corn on his plate that fell off the pizza. “I was her second serious relationship, the first one lasted for six years, she’s been single for only a few months when we met.”

“And you both went into it looking for something serious?” you ask, desperate to know more.

“I mean… you know I don’t really do casual,” Harry smirks and you chuckle at his words. “It’s what worked for both of us, so I guess yeah.”

“So then what went wrong?”

Harry keeps quiet, he has no idea how to word it, because he can’t just tell you they broke up because Jo wasn’t you and he is still very much in love with you.

“I rushed things when I wasn’t certain about where I wanted to head,” he then speaks up. “I shouldn’t have led her on when I wasn’t one hundred percent sure what I wanted.”

“Who broke up with who?” you ask, making yourself busy with the food, but your stomach is one big knot, thinking about Harry having feelings for another woman.

“It was a mutual decision. Well, she brought it up, but we both felt that something already changed so we both agreed it’s best if we parted ways.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Harry shrugs. “It’s fine, I wish her the best and obviously, I wasn’t that,” he chuckles bitterly.

“That’s… that’s almost what you told me,” you mutter, feeling overwhelmed.

“What?”

“Before you left you said you hope I’ll find the person that deserves me, because you were obviously not the one.”

Harry opens his mouth, but no word comes out. The way you still remember what he told you that day is like a knife in his chest, he never intended to hurt you this bad, to cause wounds that you still carry with yourself as scars.

Reaching for your wine you finish the glass before pushing out a smile.

“Alright, enough of the soppy shit,” you chuckle. “Want to hear about how Kostas and I almost got arrested the day after our graduation?”

After dinner there’s a silent agreement that neither of you wants to go home just yet. Somehow you end up in Madison Square Park and because the weather has been gradually getting warmer, there are quite a lot of people outside, there’s a street band playing covers everyone knows and several couples are dancing, having a great time. You don’t have to convince Harry to get closer and listen to some of the songs, the lively scene bringing you this special kind of warmth you’ve experienced a few times in the city before. All these different individuals living so close to each other, yet they barely know anything about the people around them, but there are moments when they are brought together for a little bit, their lives move parallel for that short period before they head their own separate ways again.

“God, I love this city,” you sigh, watching the dancing people, the happiness on their face and the vibe that lingers around them slowly pulling you in.

“It’s different.”

“But in a good way, right?” you smile at him.

“Definitely,” he chuckles.

“For the next song we want everyone to let loose, don’t be afraid to join in with singing or dancing!” The singer of the band announces over the microphone before the opening chords to Dancing Queen by ABBA starts playing and it clearly shakes everyone up.

“Oh my God! Come on, let’s dance!” you cheer and grabbing Harry’s hand you pull him closer to the band, into the little dancing crowd.

He doesn’t have the chance to protest, not that he wants to, he would follow you anywhere and as the two of you join the group of strangers, he feels like every bit of pain, hurt and misery vanishes from his body and mind and for just a few short minutes, he feels happy again.

He’s happy, because he sees you with that bright, real smile on your face as you start dancing to the music, your hand grabbing his and you make him move with you, which he gladly does. You sway around with silly dance moves, your arm linking around his neck and he pulls you into his embrace and it feels like he has a piece of the past back.

A piece of you back.

The song fades into another one and you slow down, panting slightly as you look up at him, realizing how close he is to you. You could kiss him so easily, his lips are welcoming and you’re dreading to feel them on your mouth again, the memory of his taste feels way too distant now and it frightens you.

You don’t want to lose him, you don’t want to forget him, he is etched into your heart and soul and you know he will always be the one you loved the most.

He is looking down at you with longing and lust and you’re on the verge of breaking, but there’s a barrier inside your head that keeps you from doing it. You can’t.

You can’t, because you need time to process his return into your life and also because you’re in a relationship with someone else.

“Um, I think we should head home.” You peel your arms off of him and step back, your cheeks feel hot and you’re way too confused to think straight.

Even after parting ways with Harry you take a walk in your apartment’s neighborhood, needing to air your head out or just simply not wanting to go back to your life that doesn’t have Harry in it the way you desire deep down.

When you finally build up the courage to go home it’s way past eleven. Derek is lying on the couch in his pajamas already and the moment you see him you feel an immense amount of guilt washing over you.

You kiss him shortly before locking yourself up in the bathroom and take the hottest shower human kind can bear, hoping the burning water would just melt this heavy feeling away. Nothing makes sense and your feelings for Harry are making you rip your hair out.

You once vowed to never forgive him for the hurt he had caused. But where is that anger now? You were convinced you’d never move on, but that was before you met him again. Now that Harry is back, you see everything in a different light.

When you emerge from your shower straight out of hell, Derek is lying in bed, one arm tucked under his head as he is watching a video on his phone, but when he sees you he locks and puts it aside quickly.

“Hey, how was your day?” he asks as you spread some hand crème over your dried out hands, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It was fine, nothing extra,” you hum in reply.

“How was the place you checked out with your friend?”

Your muscles flex at the question. Derek doesn’t know about Harry. He doesn’t know who he is or that you’re meeting up with him so often lately. Somehow you couldn’t get yourself to tell him that your book is not just fiction that (almost) everything happened to you and the man who it is about is now back in your life and your old feelings are definitely resurfacing.

You feel terrible about it, but you have enough to worry about without having Derek up in your business. If he found out and questioned you about it, you have no idea what you’d say since you figured nothing out yourself. You’ll come clean to him once you know what you want.

“It was nice, I’m not sure it’s gonna be the one, but definitely one of the top picks,” you say as you get under the covers.

You sink into the mattress comfortably, lying on your side and you barely settle in a position when Derek’s body melts against yours, his hand wandering under your shirt as he kisses your shoulder.

“Missed you all day,” he murmurs, clearly indicating what he wants, but that’s not gonna happen. Not today.

“Derek…” you sigh, as his kisses move closer to your neck, his fingers gently stroking your stomach.

“I barely saw you all week, I miss my girl.”

“I missed you too, but I’m just so tired,” you mumble and push his hand away, stopping his actions. You turn around to face him and see the disappointment in his eyes, but he pulls back anyway.

“Are you sure that’s all?” he asks, cradling you in his arms instead, keeping himself to just cuddling.

“Yeah, of course. It’s just been… a crazy few weeks,” you clear your throat and cup his face in your hands.

You love him. You really do. Derek came into your life when you needed his support the most and for that you’ll always be thankful to him. And you were even in love with him once.

But not anymore.

“Alright. Come here,” he smiles at you softly as he pulls you to his chest. You let him hold you in his embrace and he slowly falls asleep while you lie in his arms wide awake, thinking about one thing.

Or more like one person.

Kostas is in the city!

You haven’t seen him in months since he didn’t follow you and Ramona to the city, making your friendship long distance but still unbreakable. But he is spending the next two weeks in the city at one of his cousins, you swear the man has family in every state and he’s got at least a dozen cousins sprinkled all around the world. But you’re not complaining, at least it’s now bringing him to your city and you get to see your favorite gay.

Friday afternoon you’re barely even focusing on your meeting as Kelly presents next month’s projects for the group. Your notes won’t be that big of a help later so you already know you’ll ask one of your colleagues to help you out. When the meeting is finally over you head back to your office to wrap everything up before leaving soon. As you’re in between answering emails and sending out reports, your phone buzzes on the desk.

It’s a message from Harry. To be exact, a picture. The photo captures him smiling with Niall in the background, holding a huge box filled with his things.

He decided to rent out the apartment the two of you toured recently and today he is officially leaving Niall’s nest and moves into his own home. If only you didn’t have to work, you would be there with them helping, but even though Kelly is the best boss to ever exist, you’ve already taken way too many days off because of your book.

Smiling giddily you text him back.

Y/N: How is moving day? Have you popped the champagne yet?

His reply comes just moments later.

HARRY: It’s a disaster! But everything is moved finally.

Y/N: Can’t wait to see it when everything is in place!

HARRY: I’ll have a housewarming party haha!

The past week you couldn’t meet Harry but you kept in touch, always texting and even having a few calls. And though you kept telling yourself it’s all just friendly, you knew you were trying to fool yourself.

You’ve been drowning in your ambivalent feelings about the situation you’re in. Your hurt from the past is still holding you back from letting yourself get closer to Harry the way you truly want, but you also know that there is a strong force pulling you towards him and away from Derek and the closer you are to Harry the happier you feel. You know you need to make your mind up, but it scares you so you’ve been procrastinating it as much as you could.

You hit send on your last email and your phone buzzes again, but this time it’s not Harry. Kostas has sent a photo to the group chat you have with him and Ramona. The name is still Roomies even after years of not living together.

KOSTAS: CAN YOU FEEL THE EARTH SHAKING??? The Greek God is in the city bitches!!

You let out a cackle as you lean back in your chair and cross your leg while typing your response.

Y/N: I knew something happened, the fire alarm went off in the building!

RAMONA: Astrid just started crying, knew it was you!

KOSTAS: Bitches… I missed you! Send me the location where we meet tonight, leave your boyfriends and husbands and children at home, the roomies are going out!!

When you finally make it home you make some food and then start to get ready. The tunes of your favorite songs fill the apartment and you’re dancing around in your bathrobe, doing your makeup and hair, picking your outfit out. Tonight you are letting loose not just because Kostas is here but because you need and deserve it.

You don’t hear it when the front door opens and Derek arrives. Hanging his jacket in the closet in the hallway he walks closer to the bedroom with a smile on his lips as he spots you swaying around, laying out different outfits onto the bed. An Adele song is playing and you sing along with it, your hair already styled and your skin looks so smooth and welcoming, he is enamored by the sight of you.

When you spot him finally, leaning against the doorframe you jump with a shriek, pausing the music on your phone.

“Shit, you scared me!” you breathe out, placing a hand to your chest.

“Sorry,” he chuckles. “You just looked cute dancing around.”

Normally, the compliment would melt you, but now… it does absolutely nothing to you. As Derek steps closer he kisses your cheek before loosening his tie around his neck.

“Where are you going?” he asks as you pick out a green dress and put the rest away.

“Kostas is in the city, I’m going out with him and Ram.”

“Oh, right, sorry it totally slipped my mind.”

“That’s alright,” you smile at him before getting dressed. You’re struggling to pull the zipper up on your back and Derek is quick to help you out, pressing a kiss to the back of your head once the zipper is up.

“You look pretty,” he squeezes your waist before stepping back. “Hey, your birthday is coming up, do you know what you want to do?”

“Um, probably just a dinner with friends, nothing extra,” you shrug your shoulders as you fix your lipstick and look for a coat that suits your outfit.

“Alright, that sounds nice,” he smiles, but the more you see his smile the guiltier you’re feeling, because in a sense you’re leading him on.

“I’m leaving. Don’t wait up,” you force a smile to your lips as well and lean in for a kiss, but you’re just going through the motions, there are no feelings in it.

“I’ll make you the hungover juice for the morning,” he chuckles.

“Thank you, see you later!” you call out and with that, you’re out the door.

“There he is!” you shriek when Kostas finally arrives. You and Ramona are already sipping on your first drink of the night when he walks in, definitely making an entrance.

“I missed you so much!” he moans, pulling you both into a group hug before you all settle at the table again and he orders a drink for himself. “You both look fine as fuck!”

“And you too!” Ramona giggles, brushing her hair over her shoulder. It’s obvious how excited she is to be out and about without Astrid. She is an amazing mother, but she definitely deserves some time without her mini me.

One drink follows the other and you’re talking as if you’re sitting on the floor of your living room you used to share, drinking cheap wine out of plastic cups. Only that you now have a great job as a statistician and have a published book, Ramona is married and has a daughter and Kostas is working at a start up in California that’s promised to be the next big thing.

“Look at us! We have this life thing all figured out!” Kostas raises his glass and you all just laugh, clinking your glasses together at his toast, even if it’s not entirely true. Life could be way worse. “Y/N, I need you to send me a signed copy of your book, I want to sell it on Ebay.”

“I didn’t sign the one I sent to you?”

“You didn’t and I’m hurt, so you better make up for it,” he huffs dramatically, but you all just laugh. “How was the signing anyway?”

Ramona’s eyes snap at you right away and you know exactly what or more like who she is thinking about. You haven’t had the chance to share Harry’s appearance with Kostas, it’s been such a hectic time lately.

“What’s going on? I smell something that I don’t know of, spill the tea!” Kostas demands, his eyes snapping back and forth between you and Ramona.

“Um… It’s a funny story, but… Harry showed up at the signing.”

Kostas’ jaw falls to the floor as he stares back at you and you already know he’ll give you shit for not telling him earlier, but right now he is more interested in knowing the details.

“What? How? Why? What did he say?!”

You give him a quick rundown of what happened before the signing and then when you met him to have the talk that’s been due for a long time. Kostas’ eyes are so wide, you’re afraid they will fall right into his drink as he listens to the story, taking everything in.

“Oh my God, this sounds like some Argentinian soap opera episode!” he claps his hands. “And do you guys talk now? Are you like… friends?”

“Yeah. We are definitely friends,” you nod. “I helped him find a new place so he could move out from Niall’s place.”

“And what does Derek think about this?”

Guilt washes over you instantly at his question. You’ve been avoiding to talk about this ever since Harry showed up in your life, because you still have no idea where you stand with the matter.

“Well, first of all, you don’t know this yet, but Derek is apparently planning to propose to me.”

“Oh my God, I swear to God, I move across the country and you leave me out of all the real shit!” He scoffs throwing his hands into the air. “Did he tell you he wants to propose?”

“She found the ring,” Ramona speaks up, playing with the straw in her drink.

“Yeah. I don’t know when he wants to do it.”

“And why do I have a feeling that you don’t even want him to do it at all?” Kostas purses his lips as he narrows his eyes at you.

You open your mouth, but no word comes out and your throat closes up as you feel all your bottle dup emotions threatening to spill at once. They both notice the change in you and maybe it’s the alcohol you’ve consumed or maybe it’s been just simply too much lately, but a teardrop rolls down your cheek as your lips start trembling.

“I feel so shitty. I fucking hate myself!” you blurt out and Ramona reaches for your hand right away.

“Oh no, don’t say that!” she coos squeezing your hand.

“But I’m such a mess and I’m gonna end up hurting someone!”

“Just tell us what’s going on! We are here to help you but it’s hard to when we don’t know what’s on your mind!” Kostas pleads.

Taking a few deep breaths you collect your thoughts and bear yourself to share your fears and feelings that’s been torturing you for the past few weeks.

“Derek has no idea about Harry. I never told him who he was because he doesn’t even know the book is not fiction.”

Kostas gasps while Ramona just chews on her bottom lip since she knew about that. She has worded her concerns about not telling Derek what the book is really about, but you didn’t listen to her.

“I was surprised he was so fine with publishing it, it’s hard not to be when he has no idea it’s about your ex!” Kostas huffs and it doesn’t help your guilt for sure.

“How the fuck should have I told him? Derek is so morally perfect, if I told him I dated my professor in college he would have flipped. The book wouldn’t have been the matter because he would have been out the door the moment I came clean to him!”

“You’re right, I bet he never stole anything ever in his life,” Ramona mumbles under her breath. Taking a deep breath you try to get back to where you were to share your fears with your friends.

“I’ve been spending time with Harry,” you admit. “He needed to find a place to move out of Niall’s and I told him Derek had a few connections in the real estate business, but it was just me looking up apartments for him just so I could talk to him.”

“Oh my God,” Kostas breathes out and you feel like you’re confessing all your sins.

“I know it was wrong, but I just… I missed him so much,” you admit and as the words roll off your tongue it feels like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders. Sharing it with someone eases the guilt you’ve been carrying around, though it’s only momentary. “I hated what he did but I also missed him so fucking much and now that I have him back in my life and I know what really went down…”

You can’t finish, but they both know what you were trying to say. Your feelings for Harry never really went away, even when you hated him, you still had love for him, you just kept it hidden deep inside you.

“My boyfriend is planning to propose to me while I’m secretly meeting up with my ex, how fucked is that?” you breathe out shaking your head as you grab your drink and chug down half of it, hoping the alcohol would numb the pain.

“Okay, wait. Let’s just break it down,” Kostas lays his hand out on top of the table and you know this voice, this is his therapist voice he uses when he is eager to help you get your shit together. “You’ve been feeling conflicted about Derek since Harry appeared?”

“No… not really. I found the ring before that and I panicked.”

“So you had doubts about Derek even before Harry?”

“I’m just… I don’t think I’m the right person for him. He’s been so good to me, but he deserves so much more than what I can give him.”

“I understand that, but it’s also not just your decision,” Ramona speaks up. “If Derek loves you and chooses you, you can’t decide for him.”

“I know, but I can’t ignore what I feel either!” you argue and she nods. It’s such an impossible situation.

“You need to separate your feelings, Y/N,” Kostas points it out. “It sounds confusing now, but I think your feelings for Derek don’t have much to do with Harry.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were doubting your relationship with him even before Harry appeared. Harry’s presence just made it worse obviously, but you had doubts already. The ring… if he asked you to marry him now, what would you say?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“What would have you said if he asked when you found the ring?” Ramona chimes in.

“I think I would have said no,” you admit with a sigh.

“So even without Harry in the equation, you wouldn’t have wanted to stay with Derek,” he explains and you try to stay focused and not let the panic take over your mind. “You have to keep them separated. Sort your feelings out about Derek and then do the same about Harry.”

And what if you separate them? How do you know what you feel is real and not just a momentary flame? What if it’s all because you can’t process that Harry is back in your life? You never thought it would ever happen, but now that it’s your reality, you don’t know how to deal with it. You don’t want to throw away everything you worked so hard for just to end up exactly where you were three years ago? Derek treats you right, he loves you and you’d have a great life with him, while all you see when you think of Harry is uncertainty.

“As if that’s so easy!” you huff.

“Nothing is easy, babe,” Kostas rolls his eyes. “Wait, no, there is one thing that’s easy.”

“What?” you and Ramona ask at the same time.

“Getting drunk, duh!”

And that’s exactly what you do.

Harry’s apartment is still like a warzone, empty and full boxes are littered across the floor in every room, he hasn’t had the chance to touch the ones that belong to the kitchen, only gotten himself one fork to eat the takeaway he had for dinner, but the rest will be left for tomorrow. It’s almost one am when he finally calls it a day and decides to just continue it in the morning. His bedroom looks the best probably, he’s got his sheets on already and he can’t wait to take a quick shower and sleep away this busy day.

He just emits from the fogged up bathroom and is roaming through one of his suitcases full of clothes to find at least a pair of clean boxers when his phone starts ringing on the nightstand. Holding the towel around his waist, water still dripping from his body he snatches the device and his stomach drops when he sees your name flashing on the screen.

“Y/N?” he answers the call. You don’t speak up right away, but he can hear all the noise around you, as if you were standing in front of a night club.

“Harry?” you finally breathe out, you sound so tired and most definitely drunk.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?” A shiver runs down his spine at the thought of you being possibly hurt or in trouble.

“Y-Yeah, I just… ummm… c-can you…? Hm?”

You’re drunk. So drunk that you don’t make any sense and knowing that you’re out there in this state freaks him out.

“Y/N, where are you? Are you alone? Is Derek with you?” Even though he hates the thought of your boyfriend, he would rather have him with you than let you be alone.

“No, I’m in this… This is a nice… place. Do you want to come here?”

“I need the exact place, Y/N. I’ll go and get you, but I need to know where you are.” Harry holds his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he grabs whatever clothes he finds first in the suitcase while he tries to get you to talk coherently.

“Um it’s… it’s next to that barrr… with the yellow sign?” He hears shouting and a couple girls laughing in the background, but it’s still not enough information for him to find you.

“Y/N, listen to me. Are you outside of the place?”

“Yeah, I needed… I needed air.”

“Alright, do you see a security guard? A bouncer? Anyone?”

“There’s… Oh, there is this… big ass dude at the door,” you giggle and Harry tries his best to keep his cool.

“Alright, can you give him the phone for a second?”

“What?” you gasp. “I’m not… I’m not giving my phone to a… stranger!”

“That’s great, but I need someone who can tell me where you are.”

“Are you gonna come here?” you ask and he can see your pouty lips and puppy eyes as you say that.

“Yes, I’ll come and get you, baby. Just—“ “Baby?” you gasp again and Harry only now realizes what he called you.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Can you call me that again?” you ask out of breath and desperately and Harry’s heart melts in his chest.

“Baby, I need you to give the phone to the bouncer, so I can ask him where you are. Can you do that for me?”

“Mhm,” you hum.

You hand the phone over to the bouncer and Harry explains to him the situation. The guy gladly tells him the address and also promises to keep you there with him until he arrives before handing the phone back to you.

“Baby, stay there, I’ll be there as soon as possible, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumble and with that Harry is already running to get you.

By the time his cab pulls up to the night club it’s been twenty minutes since the phone call and it has started raining.

“Can you please wait for me?” he asks the driver and the old man just nods as Harry jumps out and frantically looks for you.

The bouncer spots him and figures he is there for you, so he waves at him and Harry runs up to him and he finally sees you standing behind him, leaning against the wall, your arms wrapped around your body, shivering and your eyes barely open.

“Hey, I’m here, Y/N. I’m here,” he pulls you into his arms right away and nods at the bouncer as a thank you for keeping you there and not letting you wander away.

“Harry? You really came?” you whimper.

“Of course. Come on, let’s go.”

He walks you to the cab and helps you in before telling the driver to take the two of you back to his place. You’re not soaked luckily, since the bouncer kept you under the roof at the entrance, but you’re definitely cold. Harry wraps his arms around you and you bury your face into his chest.

“Were you there alone?” he hums softly.

“Mmm… I was with Kostas and Ramona.”

“Okay, I’ll text them from your phone to let them know you’re safe, alright?”

You just nod with your eyes closed and let him fish your phone out of your coat’s pocket. He sees a bunch of texts and missed calls from your friends so he quickly shoots them a text in the group chat.

Y/N: Hey guys, it’s Harry, Y/N is with me. She called me and I just picked her up, she is alright.

He doesn’t want to invade your privacy so once the text is sent he locks the phone and slips it back into your pocket.

Arriving to his place it’s a bit of a struggle to get you up to his apartment since you’re already half asleep and you keep tumbling over your own feet, but you finally manage to get to his front door. You wrap your arms around his waist as he fumbles with the lock, not too familiar with it just yet since it’s his first official night here.

“Harry…” you sigh just as he opens the door and walks you in carefully.

“I’m right here.”

“Where are we?” you ask, looking around with a puzzled look as he closes the door and peels your coat off of you.

“It’s my new place, you don’t remember it? We checked it out together,” he smiles softly. You kick your heels off and take a few stumbled steps forward, taking in the chaos around you.

“Oh right! You just… moved,” you nod and Harry just chuckles.

He takes your hand gently and walks you into the bedroom, trying his best to avoid every box lying on the floor even with your disoriented state. He makes you sit on the edge of the bed and by that moment you’re almost fully asleep.

“Y/N, do you want to change into something else?” he asks, gently brushing your hair out of your face. You frown and shake your head. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.”

He helps you up onto the bed fully and pulls the covers over you, the moment your head hits the pillow your eyes are closed and you’re drifting off to sleep. He tucks you in and takes a moment to admire the sight of you, curled up in his bed. In a parallel universe this is where you belong. In his home, with him.

But it’s not that universe.

Breathing out shakily he is just about to take the couch for the night when you call after him.

“Harry?” Your voice is faint and fragile.

“Yeah? Do you need something?” he asks, turning back instantly.

“Where are you going?” Pushing yourself up you look at him through glassy eyes, but the confusion is obvious in them.

“I’m gonna sleep on the couch.”

“No. Come here, please!” you plead and move to one side of the bed to make him space.

He hesitates. Of course he wants to sleep next to you, feel your presence beside him, even hold you, but he knows damn well he shouldn’t be in the same bed as you when you’re dating someone else.

“Harry, please!” you breathe out and he breaks.

He takes his sweatshirt off and climbs to the bed, making sure to keep some distance from you, he wouldn’t want you to wake up in the morning and have regrets. The two of you settle on your sides facing each other and while your eyes are closed, Harry can’t take his gaze off of you.

“Thank you,” you mumble out of the blue.

“For what?”

“For… for…”

You hum and bury your face deeper into the pillow and when no word comes from you for several minutes, he knows you’ve fallen asleep. There’s no cuddling and no lines are crossed. You sleep next to each other and for a night, it seems like balance has been brought to the universe.

But it’s gone as soon as Harry opens his eyes in the morning, because you’re nowhere to be found and Harry knows it was a mistake to spend the night in that bed with you.

NEXT (FINAL) PART

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