#wouldn’t be my first choice of something bubbly tho

[declinlalune]

Three Gays in a Predicament || Andy, Leah, Nicole

TIMING: current. LOCATION: art walk in downtown. PARTIES: @phoenixleah, @nicsalazar & @declinlalune SUMMARY: andy, leah, and nicole decide to have a nice time out on an art walk before they're rudely interrupted. CONTENT WARNINGS: sibling death mentions.

“Did you know she wrote ‘Jolene’ and ‘I will always love you’ in one day?” 

Nicole heard the guide call out to the group of tourists snapping pictures right in front of them. A small gathering she actively tried to walk past, bumping shoulders, and getting elbowed on the ribs in the process. She tugged on Leah’s fingers, gently pushing forward when her smaller half looked to be winding up to interject in the conversation. Nicole offered her most sincere apologetic smile, one that promised she could share her Dolly Parton facts or dispute the guide’s claims in the safety of… not this crowd. 

All things considered, Nicole was handling the outing well. It wasn’t a typical tourist spot for her. That often entailed less human interaction and more physical exertion, plus a completely different landscape. But it was fun (aside from the current tourist problem). Different. The idea of hanging out casually with a girlfriend and a friend seemed impossible not too long ago. That reminder of her progress eased some of the tension building up on her shoulders. Bursted the anxiety bubbling in her chest.

The last she heard, was a couple of teens talking about Dolly’s eyes moving, but they were no longer within earshot as Nicole led Leah and Andy toward another mural. This one, which garnered less interest, had a very distinct garlic smell in the air instead (which may have been the reason people were avoiding it). And yeah, she couldn’t ignore her stomach grumbling in response. Following her line of sight, her gaze landed on Andy when she asked, “should we… you wanna get something to eat before we continue?” while gesturing at the food trucks around.

Andy wasn’t sure how she didn’t know that Leah and Nicole were dating. Nicole had mentioned how she wasn’t in town a lot, but still. After having befriended Leah, Andy felt like she should’ve known that the other woman was in a steady relationship at the very least. Getting closer to the two of them felt both like a blessing and a curse. For one, Andy was grateful that she finally had friends her own age, and with like interests, too. The guilt, however, was hard to ignore. She knew that both Nicole and Leah were not human, but they had no idea that she knew that. The urge to tell them was overwhelming, but she didn’t want to lose two friends. She knew it was selfish, and at the end of the day, she hated herself for it. 

But it didn’t stop her from accepting invitations to hike with Nicole, or to visit Leah’s shop and just talk. Andy hated that she knew what she knew, but there’d be nothing she could do to get away from it, so she had to accept it. Maybe one day she could tell them, but not when their budding friendship from occasional hangouts had maybe turned into something more. Something real. Because Andy and Alex wouldn’t have to leave Wicked’s Rest. They could stay this time. 

The art walk hadn’t been so much her idea as a thrown in comment about how it offered enough to do while still allowing movement. Andy didn’t think that her first hangout with the couple should’ve been third-wheeling at the cinema. 

The guide continued to explain the origins of another mural as Andy followed Nicole to another painting, bright and bold on the wall. She wasn’t sure why she’d never come to the art walk before. The smell of the garlic made it so that Andy was beginning to taste it on her tongue. Mouth watering involuntarily, Andy looked over at Nicole as she offered the choice of grabbing a bite to eat. “You read my mind.” Andy smiled at her friend before looking at Leah. The two were impossibly cute together. Like they were meant for one another. Before Andy had really had grown roots anywhere, she thought that kind of thing– relationships, were things of fiction. She’d seen them in television shows and in music videos, but hadn’t ever imagined that she’d feel the adoration radiating from somebody towards another person herself. It hadn’t helped that her parents weren’t exactly the loving type. “I kind of want fries… Do you think they have that? I’m not sure I’ve actually ever eaten from any of these.” It was a dumb question, because almost every food truck advertised some version of fries, whether it was Belgian style or topped with chili and queso. “Answered my own question, never mind. But food. Yes.” 

Leah had to work to actively continue walking along with Nicole and Andy. She loved a good tour, especially from someone as knowledgeable as a museum docent.   In another life, where she wasn’t terrified of public speaking, maybe Leah could have been one- although she was sure her topic would have been a bit more academic than the queen of country.    As they ended up in front of the garlic scented mural, Leah suddenly had a craving for garlic bread.  “I’m down.  I wonder if that bread truck is still around!”  

As they made their way over to the trucks, Leah made a point of people watching.  It was an activity she often participated in, especially when Nicole was there to guide her along the way while she was distracted.  With a crowd as big as they were in, it was fun to take a guess as to who might be supernatural, or who might be a normie, or a hunter, or who might just be an asshole, too.  She pointed toward a food truck that exclusively served potatoes with a grin.  “I think you’ll find what you’re looking for at ‘Spuds’, Andy.  I’m hankering for a loaded baked potato myself, since it seems the garlic bread is out of the question.”  

The line was longer than she had expected, but it just meant more time for people watching.  “We should take one of those guided tours one day”, she said to her companions, watching a haphazard group bustle by them.  I think that sort of controlled chaos looks sort of… thrilling!”  The line moved forward, but she walked backwards as it moved since she was facing Andy and Nicole.  “Or we could try a natural history museum, or even a more formal art gallery.”

Nicole wanted to tell Leah there was no bread truck around, not one that she could pick up with her keen senses, but that might end up revealing a little more about herself to Andy. She knew it’d come a time to disclose that part of herself, she had no reason to believe Andy would harbor negative feelings towards supernaturals, but she still had a long way to go before blurting it out in the middle of an art boardwalk. “We’ll get you that bread later” she promised, a smitten smile playing on her lips. 

She walked in silence, allowing Leah and Andy to work out the best snack option. Which turned out to be a truck specialized in potatoes. It was fine, good even. Nicole liked potatoes. She just wished the line and the crowd weren’t so…long. She stepped back to let Leah go in front, the pads of her fingers tapping her girlfriend’s palm three times before releasing. I love you. Leah would know what to order for her, she didn’t have to stress about it. Crossing her arms over her chest, she turned towards Andy, eyebrows lifting in amusement as Leah geeked out about potential tour ideas. Not even close to the first time she had done so, nor the last time she’d do it. But always impossibly adorable. “You know I’ll follow, as long as there’s a food break. What about you, are you a history or art buff or just… arm buff?” she nodded at Andy, face morphing in disgust as she heard her own cringy joke. She could guess the answer. Andy was a lot more like Nicole than Leah, but she had learned not to stick to assumptions when it came to her friend. 

The line had been long, but moved surprisingly fast, which led to the trio reaching the window in a matter of minutes. Nicole stepped to the side, leaving Leah and Andy to take care of things. And once the orders were placed, she waved at the pair to join her by the side of the truck to wait for their food. She continued where the conversation had been left off before they were interrupted. “I don’t know if Wicked’s rest has that many… uh, cultural places though”.

Andy looked around, gaze scanning for the coveted garlic bread truck, but it didn’t seem like it had made an appearance. Andy looked over at Nicole as she explained to Leah that they could get it sometime later. A small grin pulled at the corners of her lips and she averted her gaze, watching as a kid with a balloon ran up behind his parents. She had reassured Nicole that it wouldn’t be weird if it were just the three of them and she wanted to hold onto that promise, even if it hadn’t been much of a promise at all. Andy didn’t want to make things awkward just because she didn’t have a hand to hold. Besides, she didn’t think she’d fit the part of that– of somebody else’s other half. It was something she had made peace with. It was nice enough to see that love did exist in a way that was not painful. 

Leah’s voice pulled Andy from her deep-seated thoughts and she looked back towards the shorter woman gratefully. “Spuds?” She glanced up towards the food truck’s menu, and sure enough, they had fries on it. A few different types, too. Andy followed the women into the line, taking a spot just behind Nicole. She craned her neck so that she could see the rest of the menu, all the while listening to Leah as she explained that maybe they could do something else on another day, too. It made Andy glad to know she hadn’t been too weird or too boring. Granted, she didn’t know if museums were much of her thing, but if Leah wanted to do it, Andy could sacrifice the part of herself that would find it boring– she’d find something interesting about the museum for her friend’s sake. “That would be cool. I’m not sure I’ve ever been to anything like that.” She didn’t think that her visit to Metzli’s gallery had been close to any kind of tour given what had happened, but she knew that Metzli owed her, so maybe it was something she could suggest down the line. 

Nicole’s joke caught Andy off guard and she let out an embarrassed laugh. “I think art is cool, you know? But…” She looked at Leah before shrugging, “I’d be willing to try it out. New things, or whatever, don’t wanna be a stick in the mud.” Andy wanted to give it a chance, even if she knew prematurely that it wouldn’t be much of her scene. 

Through their discussion, the line moved with ease, and Andy found herself shoving a five dollar bill into the tip jar after ordering her garlic fries and pink lemonade. “I think there are a few? But I mostly spend time outdoors.” She thought about what Nicole had said about Leah being on the more fragile side. She wasn’t sure what that could mean for what she was, but Andy decided not to think about it. She didn’t want to speculate over her friends’ identities. Andy felt her chest tighten with guilt and she cleared her throat to dislodge the feeling. “I think there are some boat tours, too?” She wasn’t sure how seasick either of them got, and to be honest, Andy wasn’t sure about herself, either. “There were a lot of pride events, so maybe something we can do next year?" If their friendships lasted that long. Andy hoped they would.

Leah smiled softly at Nicole’s little symbol, liking that they had things for just them.  It was subtle enough, she hoped, that Andy wouldn’t feel left out or like a third wheel with the two of them, but prominent enough that she felt their connection without any words spoken.  She let Andy order for herself before she stepped up, ordering a loaded baked potato for herself and Smokey Mexican Beef Wedges, no sour cream, for Nicole.  “You just gotta know where to look”, she said toward her girlfriend, dropping some cash in the tip jar.  “Or I guess, it depends on what you consider cultured.  Back in High School, I used to make this brochure about all the best, most interesting spots to visit in town.  I wonder if my mom kept it.”

As they moved to the side to wait for their orders to be called, she suddenly got the feeling like she was being watched.  Not by Andy or Nicole, obviously, they were all looking at each other, but by someone in the crowd, maybe.  She scanned it quickly, but nothing looked out of the ordinary.  It was probably nothing, she surmised, but she felt her shoulders tense in slight apprehension anyway.  She looked toward Andy, a small smile playing on her lips.  “I don’t think it’s a stick in the mud to have a difference of opinion… maybe we could do some sort of cycle, you know?  Like, next time you pick where we go, then Nicole, then me.”  That way, everyone would get a chance to visit someplace they wouldn’t normally go.  At the mention of boats, though, Leah blanched.  She wondered if she visibly whitened like she felt she did.  “I will have to veto water adventures, though”, she said, trying to appear non-chalant.  “Rare water allergy”, she said to Andy to explain like she so often did, never willing to elaborate further.  She shared a glance with Nicole quickly before clearing her throat, moving the conversation along.  “Now pride sounds fun!  I’d definitely be down to dress up and celebrate if both of you would!”

“You did that?” Andy tried to imagine Leah in high school, or even Nicole. She tried to imagine herself, too, sitting at a desk with a notebook in front of her, a pen nervously tapping the desk as she tried to muck up the courage to ask a pretty girl to one of Leah’s events. Despite the fantasy and how she had longed for it once upon a time, Andy’s expression did nothing to betray her. Instead, she smiled. “That’s really cool that you put that much energy into it, but I’d love to see how it holds up.” Andy wondered how many places would have closed, either due to retirement or disaster. 

Andy scanned the crowd, mimicking Leah in the way she’d done so. Her eyes landed back on the smaller woman to see her visibly tense. Her brows lifted slightly, but she was brought out of her question as Leah explained that she had a water allergy. Andy knew that if she simply thought about it, connecting Nicole’s statement about Leah’s fragility to the fact that she didn’t like water, she could figure out exactly what her friend was, but Andy didn’t want to. She hated how invasive it was, and hated what it could mean down the line. She pushed the thought away before shrugging. “Oh, no problem.” Andy looked up at the sky, checking to make sure that it wouldn’t rain, but it was as sunny as could be, compared to how it’d been the last few weeks. She looked back at Leah, then to Nicole as Leah explained they should dress up for pride. “I’ve never done anything like that.” Andy paused for a moment before continuing, “I’ve always wanted to, though. My sister and I have done a few things, but…” She motioned towards the two women, slightly embarrassed, “it’d be the first time with friends.” 

Her eyes were on Leah as the pair reunited with her. And not for sappy reasons (though that was a given), but because Leah seemed to be carrying tension on her shoulders. It wasn’t there before. She watched her look around, then she noticed Andy joining her, and Nicole wondered what she had missed while they were buying their food. She mirrored the other two, eyes darting around. Looking for what? She wasn’t sure. But she realized the crowd had dispersed enough, only a small group waiting on their snacks remained. 

Anyway, it was a fleeting moment and though her eyes lingered on her girlfriend, the trio got back to discussing plans in no time. “I get seasick,” she supplied without missing a beat, examining Leah’s face for discomfort. She in fact, did not get seasick (she’d never been on a boat to know, more precisely). But she hoped it’d remove pressure off Leah to explain herself. Luckily, Andy wasn’t curious enough to ask. Or maybe, she was doing the thing she did during their hikes. Knowing when to drop topics. Regardless, Nicole appreciated it, swiftly moving on to Pride. “Hey, I’ve only been once—” she smiled at Andy, comforting, “last year. It was okay. I think… gotta make it happen for you next year” knowing what Andy had shared about relationships, or lack thereof, she was excited for her friend to experience something like that. She then turned to Leah. “You know how I feel about dressing up, but maybe one—” she was interrupted by a shout. Their food was ready.

Okay. ‘Spuds’ was fast. And their food was good. All qualms about it left Nicole as soon as she took the first (impossibly hot) bite. She let out a few pained huffs, pointing at the most isolated spot in the seating area. Sure, it wasn’t crowded anymore, but she still wanted to enjoy her food in peace, away from the rest of the world. On her peripheral vision she picked up a runner in the distance, but she thought nothing of it, save for the pang of annoyance. He wasn’t running on the trail. But whatever, maybe he was rushing somewhere. They kept walking, and he kept jogging. Until they were reaching the picnic table, and the steps grew louder, quicker. Determined. Nicole turned, watching the runner, now fully sprinting in their direction. Still unsuspecting, she inched closer to Leah, hoping to remove her from this guy’s path (with his speed, even an accidental bump could have serious consequences to her fragile bones). 

She urged Leah forward, but didn’t move fast enough to stop herself from colliding with him. Though it wasn't a normal collision. It felt more like a tackle. Only when Nicole’s back hit the ground, knocking the air out of her lungs, and she met his hateful gaze did she understand this wasn’t so accidental after all. She froze, then cowered as the shine of a blade came into view, bracing herself for pain she hadn’t felt in thirteen years, but could never forget. 

Their conversations about pride and high school hobbies and potatoes were blissful to a calming degree.  Really, Leah shouldn’t have been lulled by the bliss- someone who had been so keen on watching others since childhood should have been aware enough of her surroundings not to ignore those feelings of unease she had just had.  But the bliss was intoxicating, so much so that she’d nearly forgotten about the fear until she was ushered out of the way by Nicole, watching her get tackled to the ground quickly after.  

When people talk about natural responses to dangerous situations, they usually mention fight or flight, but a well-read person could tell you that there were actually 6 common ‘F’ fear responses when it came to high stress situations:  fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flood, and flop.  For flood, it explained a reaction that resulted in a multitude of emotions, sometimes presenting themselves as extreme and inappropriate dysregulation.  Leah had seen it as an observer plenty of times before, but this was the first time she felt it.  In a different situation, she would have tried to remember how she was feeling for research purposes.  

If she didn’t already know what this was, the blade against her girlfriend’s neck would have been a quick indicator that those feelings of eyes on them before, the tension that she let slip away from her body in a quick moment, was the same hunter who was here now. Her eye’s flashed toward Andy��s, thinking of all the times they’d danced around what they knew about the realities of Wicked’s Rest.  Leah had decided a long time ago that her friend definitely knew something, though, she supposed she was about to learn the extent of that knowledge.  Nothing like some good old exposure education.

There was a growl from the oaf on top of her girlfriend, and she resisted the urge to kick him right in the gut, worried about the force it would take to have any effect versus the fragility of her bones.  Fear turned into anger, and she had to clench her fists to stop the fire that threatened to erupt there.  Her eyes focused on the knife’s handle, careful to concentrate her energy there (her lack of experience made what she was about to do particularly risky- but she’d practiced temperature transfer enough times to feel it was worth it).  “You’re doing this in broad daylight?” she asked with a sneer, sending heat towards the knife’s handle.  “Sounds pretty desperate to me.  There are better ways to win your daddy’s approval, though.  You can start with a better fitting sweater.  Especially on a day that’s so… hot.”  She attempted to send another flash of heat toward the knife, hopefully enough to burn his hand for good.

If the three were friends, void of any other identities, then maybe they could have continued discussing plans for another time. Andy could recommend bringing bear claws with them wherever they ended up, and Leah would dive into the history of where bear claws originated, probably. Maybe Nicole wouldn’t have such a sad, wandering look behind her eyes. Maybe they could share things about themselves they were so obviously hiding. They could continue eating their food, peeling off towards a secluded spot for the sake of rest and shade rather than anything else. They could be three women, navigating friendship and what that meant with one another. There would be no secrets, and no hurried glances. 

But this was Wicked’s Rest, and it was not kind. Especially not to her current company, depending on who was watching. 

Andy stumbled back slightly as the man barreled towards them. He dove on top of Nicole, brandishing silver. She could recognize that glint anywhere. Within seconds, he was dropping the blade, cradling his hand. Andy wasn’t sure what had happened, but she shot a glance towards Leah. 

The hunter seethed as pain, red and hot, shot through the palm of his hand. The silver knife clattered to the side, and he shot a look towards the two figures behind him. One, a monster, and the other— an unnecessary trip down memory lane. Though she insisted she was not who he thought she was, any fool could see the lies that showed through her rushed excuses. He made a move to grab the knife again, planning to press the point directly into the balam’s chest. 

Andy moved quickly, dashing between Leah and the hunter. Gripping the back of his shirt, she yanked him backwards, sending him onto his ass. Her heart hammered in her ears and the taste of iron coated her tongue. Fear for herself, for her friends— for what she would do to this man. Anger coiled in her like a spring as she used the momentum from pulling him off of Nicole and onto the ground. His shoulder blades made a sick cracking sound against the pavement, but she made no move to regret the ferocity in her movements. “Go!” Andy screamed at them, hand clamped down on his wrist as he tried to twist the knife towards her. From where she leaned over him, knee now digging into his chest, she could see the burn mark of the knife’s handle against his palm. What the hell had caused that? Any guessing could prove fatal, but if this man lived up to any kind of code, then she guessed he wouldn’t turn the knife on her, not unless he wanted to prove a point. 

“Putting on a show?” The hunter breathed, using every amount of strength he could to yank his hand out from her grip. After freeing himself, he grabbed the redhead by the back of her neck, pulling her to the side in one grand movement of putting her off balance. “Show them who you really are!” He grunted, twisting his body so that now he was on top of her, blade to her throat. “Why are you pretending!” 

The first time Nicole came in contact with the sharp end of a blade she hadn’t faced it at all. It had come from behind, torn through her shoulder, catching her by surprise. Her sister’s tiny hand slipped from her fingers as she fell to the ground. Whatever unfolded next was safely tucked away in the most primal part of her brain, out of reach. It belonged to the jaguar. So rationally, this wasn’t as bad. At least she could see the hunter’s intentions written all over his face this time. His disdain and his conviction etched on a sneer. At least this time, she understood why she might have been hunted. At least there were no little siblings nearby to keep safe (and no risk of failing again). But her body didn’t seem to care for any of that when ill timed memories of everything she had lost rushed through her, zapping inside her ribcage like lightning. 

Her heart seized in her chest. That unbearable ache had been dulled for a while, snuffed out into something manageable, under control though never quite extinguished, but now ignited again. Wild and devastating. Her shoulder blade throbbed with phantom pain, anticipating something much much worse as he readied to slice her throat. But it didn’t come. Instead he hissed in pain, and Nicole caught a glimpse of his hand, turning red, no doubt soon to be blistered. Leah. She should’ve taken advantage of that split second and push, used her strength to get him off, but her body was still in shock, heart pounding so painfully in her throat it felt like she might choke. 

She spotted his motion to grab the knife again and her chest heaved, before something (someone) pulled him back. She heard Andy’s order and Nicole finally felt herself get back into her body. Slowly, she sat up. Andy didn’t hold him off for long. Words were being exchanged, and had she not been dealing with so much already, she could’ve caught the obvious familiarity between the two people quarreling. All she saw instead, was the man shoving Andy to the ground, blade pointed at her. “Leah!” she pleaded, eyes filled with unshed tears. One more distraction. It was too much to ask for, she knew it. But she didn’t trust herself not to be a shaky, weak mess if she got up to help. 

Leah was at Nicole’s side the moment the hunter was ripped off of her.  Her hands tried to be everywhere at once;  under Nicole’s arms to help her up, petting at her hair, running over her face gently to check for any signs of injury… but they never quite landed in one spot.  Andy’s urging shook her out of her mini-trance, and somehow, she managed to get the two of them standing, placing herself in front of Nicole in the process.  

She squinted her eyes as she tried to process the exchange between the hunter and Andy.  Did they know each other?  If there had been more time to think, Leah might have been able to find a link here- an explanation for Andy’s subtle knowledge about the truth of the world around them, but everything was moving too quickly for her to properly process anything.  Instead, she looked at Andy in front of her, in the same predicament her girlfriend had been in only seconds before.  

“We already know, you idiot!”, she said, bluffing and catching Andy’s eyes.  What she was supposed to know, she wasn’t sure, but they could figure that all out later when there wasn’t a knife pressed to one of their necks.  Maybe, like she and Nicole, she was some rare, hidden supernatural species, one that was too subtle for even Leah to pick up on.  Her eyes fell to the knife, dangerously close to drawing blood from her friend.  She  knew if she didn’t weigh her options carefully, the hunter wouldn’t hesitate to hurt Andy.  He was quick, he was trained, and Leah knew better than to try to solve the problem by normal means.  

“I’d choose my next move wisely if I were you”, she said, her eyes quickly shifting to their surroundings.  Miraculously, everyone had seemingly left the area without noticing the commotion. There was a small tree in a planter a few yards away, and Leah took a few seconds to release enough heat in its direction long enough for it to catch fire, hoping it might distract or scare the hunter, or both.

“And like I said, it’s too hot today to be wasting your energy like this.  Much, too, hot…”  She was losing energy, and fast, but again she sent some heat in the direction of the hunter, this time focusing on his whole body instead of the tiny knife.  Slowly, she hoped, he’d feel his internal temperature rise and rise, so much so that maybe he’d be sure that it couldn’t go any higher without melting his insides, and even then Leah would let it get a little hotter before she took the heat back.  

Maybe it wouldn’t get that far; maybe the hunter would realize he was outnumbered and out-powered and give up before it had the chance to.  But the worst, most inner, feral parts of Leah hoped that it would.    

This was the second time that the man had accused her of being something she wasn’t. Or, rather, that she no longer was. She had shed that skin prior to her parents passing, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. He saw Andy’s mother in her, and therefore, with that recognition, he seemed to want something. Did he know about what happened? Did he know Alex? 

Her thoughts were jumbled as she craned her neck, trying to bury herself into the concrete below her to put distance between the knife and her throat. The man continued to mumble, enough venom in his words to even poison the kindest of minds. “Get off of me!” Andy tried to slip beneath his grip, but the movement brought the knife closer with the threat of drawing blood. She was strong, but without constant training, there’d be no match against somebody who had continued to keep up with such a thing. 

The hunter’s eyes glittered at the promise of pinning the woman to her absolution. To show those she walked freely with that she, too, was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. That just like him, she would spill their blood. At first, he thought her hesitance had come with what happened to her parents. He had known her mother, and she was a spitting image. It was the only reason he was able to tell, with certainty, that she was like him. But she didn’t seem to want to be. It angered him, that she thought just because her parents had passed, she could get out of this. Of her destiny; of putting monsters into the ground. How dare she walk freely amongst them?

Just as he was about to press the blade deeper, something— no, a phoenix, he realized, (with both the burn on his palm and the way the tree had suddenly gone up in flames), started to make him sweat from the inside out. The warmth spread through his body in a way that made him want to peel his skin off for some kind of relief. The groan that left him was agonizing, and perspiration began to bead along his skin. 

Andy used the number of distractions to her advantage. Due to the way he was sweating (gross), the knife slipped easily from his grip. She bucked her hips and twisted, jabbing her forearm against his throat to create distance between herself and the hunter. She flipped him to the side and scrambled away from the other two women, not daring reach to them for help. She’d gotten them into this mess. Either Leah or Nicole had done something. She was betting it had been Leah, given Nicole’s desperation. So her friend was a phoenix. That was cool. Then again, she wasn’t so sure they’d be friends after this. Slowly, she got to her feet, her hand to her throat.

The hunter stayed on the ground for a moment longer with no relief to be found. His insides were burning. He was going to die here, and that stupid bitch wasn’t going to help him. She would let him die. “You’re a traitor,” the man hissed, grasping at his chest, pulling his shirt away from his skin. “You do nothing to help me, and instead you help them, you’re a traitor!” 

As much as Andy wanted to tell him to go and cry a fucking river, she couldn’t seem to speak. She was a traitor. She’d been called it plenty of times before. Sometimes, jokingly by the other kids in the hunter camps. Even by her own cousin— though, nobody had known exactly how far that went at the time. “You need to go.” It was not directed at the hunter, but instead to Leah and Nicole. What if this guy had friends? “Please. I’ll— I’ll take care of this.” 

Leah’s distractions were working, and for that, she was grateful.  Sometimes her powers were a hit or miss.  She wondered if normal sirens and phoenixes- those who grew up surrounded by others like them, got some sort of training on how to control their supernatural differences.  Leah was 10 before she realized she could produce fire, after an argument with her sister that made her so angry she nearly burned their treehouse down.  Since then, she’d been trying to do a training of her own (in secret, that is, until she moved out of her parents house.  They were always worried it was too dangerous to even try).  At first it was hard, because she only seemed to be able to control temperature or throw fire at all when she was incredibly pissed off- a feat that only seemed possible when she was arguing with her siblings.  But over time, though nowhere near perfect, control became easier.  

She learned that day that fear must have been a trigger as well.

She was so tuned in on keeping the heat around the hunter that her ears were hyperfocused to what he was saying- so much so that she dropped the act momentarily as she processed his words.  Traitor.  Why would he be calling Andy a Traitor unless…?

She stared at Andy, the circumstances and coincidences of all of this finally coming together to make perfect sense.  The hunter was calling Andy a traitor because she was one, too.  It all made sense now, but Leah didn’t quite want to believe it.  

Instinctively, she placed herself in front of Nicole, licking her lips.  Nicole deserved an explanation, but she couldn’t muster one.  “Andy, are you…?”  She swallowed, but then grabbed Nicole’s wrist behind her, walking backwards and pulling Nicole along with you.  She wanted to ask the accusatory question, but her concern for her friend overshadowed the betrayal she felt.  Instead, she said, “Are you sure?”

She didn’t bother waiting for an answer, though, because the more her mind wrapped around the situation, the more she knew that she was right.  She had incapacitated the hunter enough that Andy would be able to deal with him, and now the priority needed to be to get Nicole to safety.  She ran as fast as her low energy would allow her to, toward people or the car or anywhere that might give them a bigger promise of safety than alone in a courtyard with two hunters.  As she pulled poor Nicole along, who probably felt more confused than anything, she breathed out what she had been thinking, trying to fill her in the best she could.  “I think…  I think Andy’s a hunter”, she muttered, not willing to gaze toward her girlfriend to gauge her response.

First, Nicole watched the tree go up in flames, then the man visibly struggled with whatever was being done to him. She knew better than to reach out, even if she wished to place a supportive hand on Leah's shoulder (knowing the toll it took on her), for fear of ruining her focus. She could feel the heat emanating from her even a couple of feet away. The distraction worked, Andy was able to flip them, getting the upper hand. Nicole almost stepped in, feeling steady enough to try and help pinning the man down, but fingertips wrapped around her pulse point, hot and insistent. She was being pulled away, and— only because it was Leah, she followed. Several questions died in her throat. She wouldn’t do this without a good reason. She probably put something together Nicole couldn't see yet. 

They ran aimlessly, until the two were back to blending with the artwalk crowd, and Nicole came to a stop. She pulled Leah into an embrace, feeling her own limbs tremble as they gingerly wrapped around the smaller frame. “You did good, you did— thank you…” she gasped, cheek brushing against Leah’s hairline. Apologies built up in her throat, a painful knot she couldn’t swallow. She wished to excuse her own inability to measure up to the circumstances (for the second time in her life). Not only had she failed to do anything, really, she’d forced Leah to put her abilities on display, making herself more of a target. Fear wrapped around her ribcage even before horrible scenarios could form in her head. What if he came back for Leah? 

Her anxiety jumped back to Andy, who was currently dealing with that dangerous man. She wanted to ask about her, convince Leah to go back. Andy was strong but not defeat a hunter strong, right? But before she could string the proper sentences, Leah revealed what she had put together before her. Nicole loosened the hold she had on her girlfriend, head turning back to where they came from. Failing to process the information, trying to find ways to refute Leah’s claim. Why would a hunter befriend them? Why would Andy spend so many hours hiking with her, just the two of them in the immensity of the forest and not make a move?  A sting that felt close to betrayal flared in her chest. 

But despite the shitty feeling she was experiencing, and the shock she still couldn’t quite shake (her legs still not solid enough), Nicole wanted to go back, check if Andy was alright. Couldn’t entertain the idea that she might not be worth going back for. That their friendship had been a guise for something else. A means to an end. What end? She had no clue. Are you sure? She almost asked, but knew better than that. Leah wouldn’t have left a friend behind for a mere hunch. Her knuckles traced Leah’s jawline, trying to get her attention, searching for her eyes.  “We should go, then. More like them could be waiting to attack”.

Andy dropped next to the hunter, holding him down as best as she could, fearful that he might try and lunge after the two. 

However, they ran, just as Andy had instructed. The hunter struggled beneath her hold, but she didn’t dare let go. Letting go would provide access to them, and even though she couldn’t hear their retreating footsteps any longer, she didn’t want to take any chances. 

She didn’t want to focus on the way recognition had flitted over Leah’s features, or the confusion in Nicole’s expression. She wanted to get this guy as far away as possible, but how did she do that? He was clearly incapacitated by whatever Leah had done, but there was only a matter of time before he recovered. The hunter groaned, obscenities slurring from him as he wriggled beneath Andy’s grip. She felt stiff— out of her body, almost. She had run with Alex for so long that this was a slap in the face. Had it all been for nothing? 

Andy was only half-listening to the way that the hunter pointed out her flaws. She gave him a half-hearted nod before getting him to his feet. She’d get him far away from here, and then she would deal with the aftermath. The fear she’d felt when he’d been on top of Nicole had struck her down, but she needed to make it right now. He wouldn’t hurt anyone else, not as long as she was around. She would make sure of that.

[drabbles-mc]

Busy (Part 2)

Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader

Part 1 can be found Here

Request by Anon: omggggg that Horacio fight angst + makeup tho -- that was so good. It felt so believable!! You should consider another part to it honestly it'd be so interesting to see. Like if Horacio keeps shutting her out/not being present at home, what actions she would take etc.

Warnings: 18+, language, angst, alcohol, angst

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Guess who made themself sad with their own story. ☹️ But real talk I have been thinking about writing the sequel for a long time now. It wasn’t my original intention but once someone mentioned it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Thanks for climbing aboard the angst train.

Narcos Taglist: @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @garbinge​ @bruxasolta​ @winchestershiresauce​ @sizzlingcloudmentality​ @alm0501​ @panagiasikelia​ @616wilsons​ @hauntedforsst​ @mirabee​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @boomclapxox​ @nessamc​ @southotheborder​ @supersanelyromantic​ @padbrookcottage​ (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!)

Things got better at first. Like an emergency response to a natural disaster, the two of you pulled out all the stops in the wake of your last argument. The intentions were genuine, both of you wanting things to change for the better to make things work. You knew that it had gotten to him in a way that your other disagreements in the past hadn’t. There was something about you being lost and sad instead of angry that rattled him deeply. He knew that that sadness could quickly dissolve into you giving up, moving on. And that was something that he wasn’t prepared to handle. He didn’t want to think about it.

That wasn’t to say it was easy. But relationships took work, and realistically speaking you and Carrillo both had some work to do on yourselves as individuals outside of you as a couple. There were lots of small, tentative steps in the right direction. But it was progress, and it had given you hope.

Your husband was a creature of habit, though. And as days turned into weeks, and weeks stretched into months, and the stress of his job began to mount once more, you could feel the gap between you beginning to widen. The stitches holding you together after your last argument still too fresh to hold up under pressure. A knot began to grow and settle in your stomach as the days passed by. You hadn’t thought about the time going by until you were lying in bed one night, waiting for him to crawl in beside you, but you fell asleep before he did. You weren’t sure if that was better than when he was there but wouldn’t look at you or touch you. The rift between you expanding and causing your heart to fray at the seams all over again. You wondered when was the right time to mention it, when it could be a discussion instead of an argument that just resulted in him pulling away even more.

It was late, and you were sitting at the dining room table, paperwork spread out around you. You tried not to bring your work home with you, but you’d been slammed so you weren’t left with much of a choice. Besides, you figured it wasn’t going to impede on anything at home since Horacio was going to be late again. The coffee in the mug beside you had been cold for a while as you scanned over the files, trying to get everything in order.

You heard the sound of the front door opening, and it snapped you out of the bubble you’d secluded yourself in. Looking back over your shoulder, you waited for the sound of his boots against the floor. His arrival was the only thing that clued you in to how late you’d kept yourself up.

“You’re still awake,” his voice was soft, laden with exhaustion.

You nodded, absent-mindedly tapping your pen on the table as you watched him come closer, “Yea…lost track of time,” you paused, wondering if you should even bother asking him about his day. You couldn’t help it, though, “Everything alright?”

He nodded, but his eyes drifted from you as he walked towards the kitchen, “Everything’s fine.”

You watched him, a knot forming in your stomach as you saw him pulling one of the glass tumblers from the top shelf in the cabinet. He scanned over the bottles that were sitting on the counter, like he ever strayed from his usual.

“Horacio?” you were extremely mindful of your tone, not wanting to create a conflict if you could avoid it.

He didn’t turn around as he began to pour, “Mm?”

You took a slow, quiet breath, “It’s okay if it’s not, you know,” you gnawed at your bottom lip, “Everything doesn’t always have to be fine—you can still tell me.”

You couldn’t hear the sigh, but you didn’t have to. You saw the way that his shoulders rose and fell, the way that his head dropped just a little more. The sinking feeling inside you grew, the grip on your pen tightening because you had to channel the tension somewhere. You meant it well, you always did. It was so rare that he ever received it the way that you intended though, and you had a feeling deep in your gut that tonight wasn’t going to be a dramatic turn in the right direction.

“I said I’m fine,” he was firm, but not loud. The sharpness was an attempt to shut down any possible room for further discussion.

But you didn’t get this far in your relationship without developing your own stubborn streak. You carefully set your pen down on the table, interlocking your fingers and resting your chin against them. You didn’t say anything at first, waiting for him to be off-put by your silence and turn around. You knew him well, because it was only a matter of seconds before he put the top back on the bottle and turned back around to face you, a pensive look washing over his features.

“Okay,” you gave a small shrug.

“Okay?” if he was trying to hide his confusion, he was failing miserably.

“Okay,” you nodded, knowing that if you were going to try to be soft about it, he was going to find a way to weasel his way out of it. If you kept backing down every time he was short with you, nothing was going to change, “You say you’re fine? Okay—you’re fine,” you waited for his eyes to land on yours again, “But I’m not. I’m not fine.”

His facial expressions took him through the five stages of grief in rapid succession as he tried to figure out how he wanted to respond. He had a tight grip on his glass, but he didn’t lift it to drink. There was a slight tic in his jaw and you knew that he was fighting the urge to say something rash out of anger, something that he would most definitely regret once the words were out there and unable to be taken back.

He looked down into his glass, “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t apologizing for his actions. If he had been, he’d be closer to you, looking at you. His tone would be just a touch more pleading, or just more emotional in general. He was saying that he was sorry, sure. But what he really meant was, I’m sorry you’re not fine, not I’m sorry I’ve made you, made us, not fine. His tone was just a bit too flat for you to be at all comforted by the words. Horacio Carrillo could do earnest, but that wasn’t it.

“I can’t do it. I can’t make you want to be honest with me,” you shifted your hands so that your thumbs were hooked under your chin, lips pressing against your interlocked fingers as you tried to pick your next words, “I’m tired, Horacio.”

He sat down at the table kitty-corner to you, finally taking a drink from his glass before responding, “I know.”

“Aren’t you?” you asked, hands falling to the table as you crossed your arms, covering up the mess of papers beneath you in the process.

The silence you were met with gave you all the answers that you needed. Even though your frustration with him fried you to the core on some days, more often than not lately, you still loved him. That never changed. If you didn’t love him, didn’t care about him and the life you were so desperately trying to build, you wouldn’t be sitting and having this conversation again. But you didn’t know how many times you were supposed to have it, how long you were supposed to hold out and wait for things to change. This wasn’t what forever looked like in your head when you had agreed to it.

“I love you.”

Your words brought a ghost of a smile to his face, a fleeting expression that disappeared as quickly as it showed up because he was afraid of what was going to follow that statement, “I love you too.”

“How long…” you stopped, the emotions that you tried so hard to keep in check knotting the back of your throat, “how long do we keep doing this?”

He froze. It was his turn to be looking at you while you looked anywhere but at him. He saw the slight quiver in your bottom lip, the way that you were trying so hard to keep your composure. You carried so much on your shoulders from day to day and he knew that, and yet he still found himself adding to that weight even though he didn’t mean to. He wanted to reach out and take your hand in his, but he was afraid to touch you, to make it all come crumbling down.

“You’re not happy,” the words were barely audible even against the silence of the house.

The exhale that slipped past your lips was painfully unsteady. Tears stung at your eyes and you tried to ignore them, hoping it would make them fade away. Dropping your face into your hands for a moment, you tried to get yourself together.

“I want to be,” you lifted your face from your palms and looked at him, eyes damp, “I love you so much and I, I want to be happy. I do. I swear. And I know…I know that sometimes you probably think I’m just being difficult or—”

“I don’t,” he didn’t let you continue the thought, “Things are difficult, but you aren’t.”

A touch of warmth spread through your chest at his words. Finally, some real honesty. But it didn’t change the circumstances. Wiping underneath your eyes, you asked, “Are you happy?”

He didn’t respond right away. You could see it in his eyes that he really was thinking about the answer to the question. It wasn’t the type of thing that he ever really asked himself. He had never been a person who was all that great at doing personal inventory. He knew when things were right, and when they weren’t. He knew when things were going the way they were supposed to, going smoothly, and there was a sense of contentment in that. But he never really stepped back and asked himself if he was happy. He had the things that he wanted for the most part. Sure, things weren’t perfect, but he still had you, so it would be implied that he was happy, right?

But as he sat there at the table, watching you twist your hands in an attempt to give yourself something to do besides cry, he wasn’t so sure. He loved you. There was nothing else in the world that he was so certain about as that. Maybe it just wasn’t enough though.

“I don’t know,” all he had left was his honesty, “But…I love you.”

A weak smile pulled at your lips, “I know you do,” you reached over, resting your hand over his, “I love you too.”

“Is it enough?”

Helpless was a new look on him, and it was one that absolutely broke your heart. What made it worse was that you weren’t sure. You weren’t sure if it was enough. You wanted it to be, but a relationship, a marriage, it needed more than just love.

You squeezed his hand, something to try and ground yourself as you fought back the sobs that were building deep in your chest. You took a slow, deep breath, “I…I don’t know.”

His eyes were zeroed in on the wedding band wrapped around your finger. You saw the slight movements in his jaw as he thought, as he tried to pull together what it was that he thought he was supposed to be saying. But he didn’t know, and you didn’t know either. This wasn’t the conversation you thought you were going to end up in, but here you were. You didn’t want to admit that maybe you’d been on track to arrive here for longer than you thought.

“Maybe we just need some time,” a tear slipped out and down your cheek as you spoke. You saw the way he nodded and you forced out the rest of your thought, “Some time away.”

His eyes flew from your hand to your face, and while you didn’t think you’d ever seen him experience genuine fear before, you were fairly certain you were looking at it now, “Time away?”

“You can’t do this right now, Horacio,” you gestured back and forth between the two of you, “You can’t be here. And I…I can’t keep pretending that it’s okay, that I’m okay.”

“But you can’t leave,” there was the earnestness you’d been wanting so badly for weeks.

You gave him a sad smile, “I’m not talking about fleeing Colombia. But I think that you need the space, and truthfully, I think maybe I do too.”

“Where would—”

“I’ll go stay with my cousin for a bit,” you knew that he was already thinking about the logistics of what you were saying, “I won’t be far.”

“For how long?”

You shook your head slightly, “Until we’re ready to really figure this out and get it right,” in spite of it all, you still had hope. You couldn’t just give that all up so easy. “I do love you, Horacio. And I don’t…I don’t want to give this up. But I’m so tired, and I can see that you are too. Maybe some time and some space to be our own people is the reset we need.”

You could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to believe it. He wanted you home. He wanted to be the kind of husband that you needed. He wanted both of you to be happy. But he also knew that neither of you were, that you hadn’t been. He didn’t want you to be right, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want you to give up on him.

“And if it’s not?”

You let out a deep sigh, “Then we sit down and have another conversation that feels a lot like this. And we figure it out from there,” you looked over at him, “But we aren’t there. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“I don’t like it.”

You laughed, sadness still weighing you down but you managed a laugh at the simplicity of his statement, “I know. I don’t either. But I think that maybe we have our own demons to battle before we start tackling the ones we made together.”

There was a long stretch of silence between you. You could tell by the look in his eye that he wasn’t going to fight you on it and run the risk of losing you completely. You had the fleeting thought that maybe he would come to find too much comfort in the time alone, that he would want to keep it that way. That was a gamble you had to be willing to take, the same way he had to be willing to take that gamble with you. He didn’t want to drive you away, and he hated feeling like he was about to hold the door open for you to leave, but he didn’t have the answer. He wasn’t what you needed and if some time to get through his own shit and regroup would make him that, then maybe it’d be worth the pain of the process.

“Promise me something?” he asked.

You nodded, “Anything.”

“Promise me you’re going to come back home.”

Your heart sank inside your chest, remembering when the roles were reversed not all that long ago, “I’m not running away from you. I promise.”

He wasn’t sure if he could really let himself believe you. But it was the only comfort that he had, “I know that I haven’t been what you’ve needed, that I haven’t always treated you right. But of all the mistakes I’ve made, I know that we weren’t one of them.”

The sentiment brought a smile to your face, “I don’t think we’re a mistake, Horacio. I think we’ve made mistakes, but I don’t think that’s what we are. Please don’t think that.”

“I love you,” it was as much a plea as it was a statement.

You ran your thumb over his knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes as your mind started conjuring up what the following weeks might look like, “I love you too.”

[theoriginalnikegirl]

ok but like i literally can’t stop thinking about that entire conversation in the sacrifice.

way back i think i said in the tags on one of the quotes i posted about how rachel was mad at cassie going on about “making a sacrifice” in a book called the sacrifice, following a book where rachel sacrificed her whole-ass identity to preserve cassie’s but no that’s actually not what’s going on

Rachel’s voice, on the other hand, was firm and unhesitating. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking it’s time to explode a big ‘ole bomb.”

“And you couldn’t be happier,” Cassie said bitterly to Rachel. “Could you?” (The Sacrifice, 38)

like at first i couldn’t tell where cassie was coming from with this take but here’s the thing cassie was not in rachel’s head in 48. cassie doesn’t know how much rachel struggled with the decision to do whatever she decided (which i will maintain whatever decision you believe rachel made was an immoral one, making rachel “one of the bad guys” in the parlance of that book) but all cassie knows is that rachel made a decision about david quickly, even firmly and unhesitatingly one might say. like even tho rachel literally said “I don’t think I can do it again either” the point is she did do it and cassie would not have made any decision regarding david period so she can’t really tell the difference between the decision being quick vs easy. and cassie reads it as easy, which is where this bitterness comes from. “how could my friend so easily make these decisions?” she clarifies further in the next chapter:

“You don’t knowingly take innocent life. Not if you’re a decent person. Not if you’re not a murderer. The goal is irrelevant. I thought you knew that, Jake, but apparently...” (The Sacrifice, 53-54)

tho here cassie is specifically referring to hosts trapped in the pool as “innocent life” (also tom) i think her definition of “innocent life” is wide enough that it also (unfortunately) includes david so even tho she’s talking to jake she’s also talking about rachel and whatever rachel did to david. so this is where cassie’s at, and i think this is as much her judging herself as jake or rachel: see exigencelost’s essay on cassie in 19 cassie’s continued particpation in the war counts to her as her “knowingly tak[ing] innocent life” and it sucks for her which is why it hurts so much for her too see her best friend and boyfriend doing so with seemingly no trouble. but rolling straight on

“Tom had it. He had the cube. The only way Jake was going to get it from him was to kill him. I couldn’t let Jake do that. I couldn’t. I was trying to protect him.”

“You were trying to protect Jake so you basically sold out the rest of the human race?” Rachel said. Her voice was tight. The voice of barely controlled ferocity. (The Sacrifice, 55)

part of what rachel is realizing here is cassie had two choices she was morally ok with making in 48. 

“I don’t think you can do that a second time,” Cassie said quietly.

I felt all the old anger bubbling up. Why was she arguing? She knew what had to be done. Why was she pretending to not understand what had to be done?

So she could sleep at night? So she could say “I tried to stop her, so it’s not my fault?”. So she could say “I didn’t know.”

I looked her in the eye.

<I’m not sure I can, either. So will you do it?>

Cassie’s face creased. Her mouth opened and closed. Her eyes flickered.

“I don’t know,” she whispered finally.

<I didn’t think so.> (The Return, 142) 

in rachel’s mind, there were two options: either she could do the thing to david, or cassie could. and cassie wouldn’t, so rachel did. (rachel also uses a lot of “have to” language in 48, ie “Something would have to be done. And I would have to do it” and as in the passage quoted above “She knew what had to be done” etc. i mean rachel did it but she definitely felt a bit coerced into doing it is what im saying.)

but part of what rachel realizes duringst this conversation in 52 is that to cassie there were also two choices in 48: let rachel do the thing to david, or prevent rachel from doing the thing to david. rachel doing the thing to david is what makes cassie think rachel “couldn’t be happier” about blowing up a ton of people and you know what? rachel doing the thing to david is also what made her think that about herself. after 48, rachel is no longer capable of seeing herself as a moral agent, and unfortunately none of the other animorphs (except maybe tobias) are either. but rachel did that thing because it was necessary to the war effort and no one else available would and so she felt coerced but she did it. and now cassie’s here saying: i could’ve prevented you from doing it. that was an option i was morally ok with. just not for you. 

which is 

its such a nail in the coffin of their friendship. 

[intercoursefluids]

The Impromptu Sleepover Part 1

“Alright! The adults are asleep what do you guys want to do?”

Alya being Alya, decided to take over the sleepover to celebrate Marinette’s friends finally realizing (or in most cases finally speaking up) about Lila’s lies.

“Swordfight!”

“Movie Marathon!”

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

Different ideas all resound from the girls currently huddled in Marinette’s room, all the boys trying to pretend they didn’t exist.

Only nine people were there, Adrien had wanted to come to the sleepover, but his dad wouldn’t let him.

These 10 were the only ones from her class to come back to her and apologize once they realized who the real victim was.

Marinette almost couldn’t believe her eyes when Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Nino, Kim, Max, Nathaniel, and Marc came up to her asking for her back.

The only ones who had actually believed Lila’s lies were Alya, Max, and Nathaniel but the others still apologized for not speaking out for her.

This group apology and cry session that immediately followed ended up with them holding a sleepover to celebrate their reconnection.

One thing Marinette forgot about though. Was the fact that Chat Noir would come to hang out with her on Fridays.

Which is why, when pebbles started hitting her window. She damn near had a heart attack when everyone else noticed immediately stopping their conversations.

“Mari, Love, Darling dearest. Who, might I ask, is throwing pebbles at your window?”

Every single one of her friends look at her with shit-eating grins as Kim blinks up innocently at her like he didn't just confirm for everyone there was in fact someone outside throwing a rock at her window.

Persistently.

With a deep sigh, Marinette grabs a lightsaber and spray bottle from the back of her closet.

"Alya, I am giving you permission to film this. I am NOT, however, to post this to any social media, and no one except for those in this room are to ever see the footage unless I give explicit permission otherwise. Understand?"

Alya nods frantically pulling out her phone as she and Marinette climb up to the balcony.

"Oh, Romeo Oh Romeo. Where art tho Romeo?"

Chat Noirs sarcastic call sounds from below with a bouquet of Alstroemeria, Amaryllis, and Blue Irises.

Alya hides behind the railing, just out of Chat Noir's sight as she films the interaction.

With a deep sigh, Marinette turns to Chat with regret and sorrow written all across her face, making Chat pause.

"Princess? What's the matter-"

"I'm sorry Chat Noir. But it's over."

The stricken look on his face almost makes Marinette feel sorry for him.

Almost.

"I don't understand? Did I do something wrong?"

With another deep sigh, Marinette runs a hand over her face.

"It's over Chat."

Faking tears, Marinette ever so slowly pulls the lightsaber from behind her back turning it on making the red illuminate half her face.

"I have the high ground."

Marinette sniffles for good measure as Alya finally catches on. Turning her phone back to Chat to see him looking like he was about to cry before it finally clicks.

His face goes blank as he stares up at one of his best friends.

"I hate you so much."

Marinette cackles as he pulls out his baton, stretching up to her balcony to be face to face with her.

"I can't believe that guy calls you 'Angel'. Your halo hides your horns too well and- Ladyblogger? What are you doi- Eep!"

He cuts off abruptly as Marinette squirts him in the face with the spray bottle making him reel back with a yowl.

In his haste to get away, he knocks himself off balance starting to fall over backward until Marinette grabs his bell yanking him forward.

"Okay, that is it! I'm going home and I'm telling Ladybug you're picking on me."

Marinette wheezes, trying to get her breath back and just giving up. Climbing down her skylight to collapse in a pile of giggles.

Chat and Alya both follow her down. Alya pushing her off her bed so Kim has to catch her before she hits the floor.

"Please Alya. PLEASE, tell me you got his reaction on film."

Alya smirks showing the video currently saving to her phone.

"Of course I did. Now we have a new guest here now assuming that Chat wants to stay for the sleepover."

Chat's eyes widen, looking every part the excited kitten.

"Can I?! I've never been to a sleepover before!"

All of the girls gasp in horror, surrounding Chat as they search through drawers and Marinette's closet.

Marinette, always one step ahead, runs to chat.

"Go in the bathroom, detransform put these on, and come back out. I'm assuming your Kwami eats camembert cheese since you constantly smell like it. I swear no one here is going to find out your identity or even try if they don't want me to put them on blast with all of the dirt I have on them. Now go!"

Chat is shoved into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. Doing as he is told in fear of Marinette, Chat detransforms catching Plagg as he cackles in the air.

"Oh, I like her! She'd make a great kitten, with how easy it is for her to cause chaos, just how I like it!."

Shaking his head at his cackling Kwami as he got dressed. Putting the mask Marinette made him on trying it securely around his head. Stepping out to find Marinette coming back with a LARGE tray of food and everyone else huddled around Alya's phone.

Chat can't help the startled yelp he lets out when Alix pulls him down to her, gently petting his hair as she glares at Marinette.

"You're a monster Marinette. How could you do that to him?! Look at his face! His little baby face! He looked heartbroken!"

Marinette snorts at the playful scolding.

"Let him go, Alix. Go find your own stray."

Alix snorts as Marinette pulls a blushing Chat to her hugging him close. Marinette sits down dragging him with her as he buries his face in her hair. Too embarrassed to speak.

He doesn't have a babyface. Does he?

"Awe come on Mari, you found the cutest one the least you could do is share him!"

Everyone laughs as Kim makes a grab for Chat just for Marinette to pull him closer to her.

"Noooooo, this is MY alley cat! Go find your own!"

Chat Noir would never admit how hard he had to fight down his purr when Marinette started petting his hair.

You know. Before he lost that battle and a purr sounded loudly through his chest.

"Please stop. It's not fair and you're embarrassing me. Mariiiiii! Stooooooop."

Everyone laughs when Chat complains for Marinette to stop, even as he starts to melt into a puddle on her lap.

"One of these days I'm going to tell M'lady on you and she's gonna dangle you from the Eiffel Tower."

Now, under normal circumstances, everyone would be worried, but it's hard to be serious when one of Paris's superheroes is melted in a puddle in your friend's lap with a purr so loud it's hard to understand him.

"I'm pretty sure Ladybug would dangle YOU from the Eiffel Tower for being in a girls room this late, without letting her parents know. Even more, so that you detransformed in front of us. Still want to tell Ladybug on Marinette?"

Everyone turns to Marc, Nathaniel's adorable spouse as they radiate badassery.

Chat's purr stutters before starting up just as loudly again.

"I will no longer be telling M'lady."

Marinette snorts leaning back on her chaise as Chat adjusts himself so he's laying between her legs with his head on her stomach. Facing the rest of the class as Marinette plays with his hair.

"Are you guys dating?"

"Of course they are Cesaire. Ridiculous-!"

"Utterly ridiculous!" "Ew! No!"

Are the two different responses that cut Chloe off. The group finishing Chloe's catchphrase as Marinette and Chat Noir look at the rest of the class in disgust.

"Okay, first of all. Chat what the HELL do you mean 'ew'? Marinette is a babe, and everyone in this room has had a crush on her at least once before. How dare you say 'ew' like you would never date her you would be incredibly lucky if she even considered you."

Alya states with a finger in Chat's face.

Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Max, Kim, Nathaniel, Marc, and Nino all looking incredibly offended for Marinette even as she blushes and tries to hide her face.

"Guys, stop! And what do you mean all of you? Half of you are dating each other!"

Chat snickers at her distress, pulling out his burner phone and snapping a picture of her face.

"Okay, there may or may not be a literal 'Queen Marinette Club" or 'QMC' for short. We even have several social media accounts dedicated to giving you the credit you deserve. Before you ask this started that one time we went to Gotham and you answered all of the Riddler's riddles and yelled at Nightwing and Robin for their poor fashion choices and called Batman a furry when he tried to stop you."

Surprisingly Nathaniel is the one who answers instead of Alya as she pulls out her phone.

"We didn't even start the club! It was some people in Gotham who did. Max is the one who found out about it."

Sweet Marc, sweet sweet Marc never knowing when to stop before Marinette popped a blood vessel from blushing so hard.

"Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, The Riddler, the entire Batfamily (Batman included), and even some of the Waynes follow the accounts. Not to mention the other celebrities you've befriended like Mr. Stone and Ms. Nightingale."

Max reads off of his phone, seemingly proud of Marinette's followers.

"Even my mom follows you, Mari. That says something."

Chat looks up cackling as Marinette tries to suffocate herself with a pillow, Plagg rolling around on her hair as he clutches his stomach.

"Dang! Pigtails has some, what's it called? Clout! You're famous, kitten!"

Marinette whimpers from behind the pillow, her face practically radiating heat.

Chat snorts before turning back to the group.

"Number one I am well aware that Marinette is awesome and that I would be the luckiest man in the world to have her as my girlfriend. However, she's basically my little sister, same as Ladybug. Sorry to burst your bubble, Alya. Number two, she already has a boyfriend, has for a little over a year now, and he scares me. I am not testing if I really have nine lives cause he would take all of them. Number three, can you show me the 'QMC' accounts I want to follow them."

The room is silent as Marinette glares at Chat.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Princess? It's not like this is new informa-! They didn't know did they?"

Marinette reaches under her, pulling out a very nice-looking dagger from under the cushions of her chaise.

"Say goodbye to eight of your lives Chat. I need a new black fur hat."

Chat yelps scampering away from Marinette on all fours as she lunges for him with Plagg chasing after them laughing.

They keep running around the room until they pass Kim and he reaches out and grabs Marinette, trapping her in his arms.

"Okay, nice knife. Not sure where you got it nor do I want to know. Second of all, what's this about a boyfriend?"

Everyone surrounds her as Alix pulls the dagger from her hands putting it back under the cushions.

"Why haven't we heard of any boyfriend? Are you out of your mind?"

Alya's calm tone is very misleading as Chat hides behind her.

"He didn't want anyone to know just in case people claim for me to be a gold digger. Scratch that, I didn't want anyone to know so he didn't get sued for assault if anyone called me a gold digger and he found out."

Chat snorts.

"Yeah, you, definitely a gold digger. You know, since you didn't even realize who he was for the first 5 or 6 months of your relationship."

Marinette's glare does nothing as a blush covers her face.

"We don't speak of it Chat. I can and will still skin you."

Everyone looks at Marinette in shock.

"Okay, so all we know is that they are a he. He is rich enough to make people assume Marinette, Marinette of all people, is a gold digger and they are in a secret relationship. Who is it?"

Max looks up from his phone, where he is no doubt taking notes.

Marinette looks at the ground mumbling something that no one but Chat can make out thanks to his super hearing. He laughs and walks over to her phone unlocking it as Marinette finally answers.

"Damian Wayne."

Everyone looks at Marinette in a mix of shock and confusion before Chloe bursts out laughing.

"Only you Marinette. Only you would get over your crush on a millionaire heir to fall for a literal billionaire heir without even realizing it."

She breaks off into hysterical laughter as everyone turns to chat who is now on Marinette's computer connected to her phone as a facetime call takes place.

It answers on the second ring to someone who is most definitely NOT Damian Wayne.

"Hey Pixie Pop! Sorry, but I had to steal the phone from demon spawn. He was trying to kill me and Dick with a spoon and lunged for his phone as soon as it started ringing. Me and Dick were closer so we grabbed it and are now trying to find somewhere to hide so he doesn't actually kill us. Dick wanna say 'Hi'?"

Everyone hears a shout of 'sure' from someone out of the frame before the phone is passed over to someone who looks much like the first, except they are older and have no white streak in their hair.

"Hey, nettie! How's school?"

Chat smirks, covering Marinette's mouth as she tries to reply. A door slams shut as the two guys hunker in the near darkness, a lock clicking into place.

"School is great thanks for asking. Could be better but we are all getting by."

Two faces appear on screen looking a mix between worried and angry.

"I swear to god if you are holding Pixie Pop for ransom you will have the rage of all of Gotham fall upon you."

Chat just looks confused before remembering that he's wearing a mask and is holding Marinette's mouth shut.

"Oh! No, I'm not holding her hostage, we're friends. Chat Noir, Parisian superhero at your service. I just wanted to prank her boyfriend, she's having a sleepover and I was invited."

Their expressions immediately relax.

"Oh good. I was worried about what would happen when everyone else found out. Especially Damian."

Both boys shudder and smile as everyone else in the room comes into the frame.

One of them opens their mouth to speak before a loud bang comes from the door. Two equal looks of fear take over their faces.

A second later a loud bang fills the air as the door basically explodes open, high-pitched screams of terror fill the air before all is silent a new face filling to screen.

"Sorry Habibti, my brothers are imbeciles with death wishes. What do you need?"

"Wow, Habibti? I didn't know you felt that way about me Damian, or should I give you a pet name too?"

Chat's grin SCREAMS mischief, as Damian looks down an ice-cold glare in place.

"Let go of my girlfriend before I fly down there and skin you alive regardless of her wishes."

Everyone shivers at the pure venom in Damian's voice as Chat lets go holding his hands up in the air as he grins.

"Sorry, sorry. Letting go."

Marinette and Damian both glare at him before turning to each other, both looks immediately softening.

"Sorry, Shaytan. I'm having a sleepover and Chat outed our relationship and decided it would be funny to call you."

His smile is so gentle it shocks the rest of Marinette's friends.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault the Cat is a moron. I miss you. When do you think you can come back?"

Both of them choose to ignore Chats highly offended 'Hey!' as well as everyone else in the room with Marinette.

"That depends on when you want me there and when I can catch a flight."

Damian sits down at a table pulling a laptop to him as he sets up his phone so she can still see him.

"Well I want you here now, and I can have you a flight soon enough if I ask Father to get the family jet ready. If I work fast I can have you here by tomorrow morning, if not sooner."

Marinette looks shocked.

"You can't just ask your Father to get a plane ready just for me Damian!"

He glances back at the phone before going back to his computer.

"Why not? Everyone here loves you and if you're worried about the cost of it I can assure you a single minute of your time is worth far more than a measly plane ride."

Kim and Alya make cooing noises at the two from the sweetness of it all as Kagami steps up wrapping her arms protectively around her.

"Before you make any more trip plans you are going to tell me what you plan to do with Marinette in the future. I will not allow her to be some temporary girlfriend if you aren't serious about her."

Damian turns back to the phone looking past Marinette to acknowledge the others for the first time since the call started.

"I can assure you I don't want Marinette to be temporary. I plan to marry her and I truly couldn't care less if any of you have a problem with it."

Marinette's face invents a new shade of red as everyone coos over how cute that is. After getting over their initial shock of course.

"Habibti, do you want them to be able to come with you next time you come over? I can have father speak to their parents if they don't agree right away."

"Are you sure that would be okay?"

Marinette's timid voice makes Damian look away from his computer.

"Why wouldn't it be? If you don't want them to come with you then they don't have to, I know that you have some trouble with a few of your classmates. Seeing how late it is there I would have thought these were the ones who didn't turn on you or came back once they realized how idiotic they were to leave in the first place."

"Rude, but true."

Damian chooses to ignore Alya.

"No I would like for them to come, it could be fun! I'm just worried about space and where everyone would sleep."

Damian snorts.

"You have nothing to worry about, if you don't want them to stay in a hotel they can stay with us in the manor, there's plenty of space. And if there isn't enough space you can just sleep with me in my room."

He finishes off with a cheeky grin as Marinette sputters.

"You can't just say stuff like that Damian! It was bad enough that you said you planned to marry me, you don't need to add sharing a bed to the pile!"

Damian has the audacity to look confused.

"What do you mean? I never hid my plans to marry you nor my feelings, I don't get what the big deal is about sharing a bed anyway. It's not like Alfred would let us do anything and we wouldn't even have the chance with the circus monkeys I call brothers."

Several offended voices with 'I heard that!' 'Excuse me?' and 'You love us and you know it!'s all sound from his end.

Alix and Kim are basically collapsed onto each other as they wheeze at his bluntness.

Marinette sighs resting her head on her hands with a 'why do I even bother?' before looking up again.

"Fine, how is next weekend for everyone. I know Adrien will want to be included and I don't think he has anything going then. It will give me enough time to convince everyone's parents if need be and pack."

Everyone agrees and they end the call. Damian and Marinette saying their respective I love yous and Goodnight/Good mornings.

"I'm going to duel him."

"Kagami NO!"

Kagami looks Marinette dead in the eyes before smiling.

"Kagami yes."

[imaginethiswithcoffee]

Hey ;)) about coping thru mentally transporting myself to other universes, i felt that. I wanna request if youre into that - 10 x usual type of reader u write but a bit cockier with her romantic history. Slightly based on lyrics to wicked game - chris isaak, she's never felt genuine love before (and tells that to him bery nonchalantly), and he believes shes not genuine abt it, not in actuality bcz of her history, but because .. that dude hates himself. Good hurt comfort ending though. So yeah!! no issue if you dont want to tho, tysm either way ❤️

Hey! Thank you so much for this request – it’s my first one so I was incredibly excited! Hope this matches your expectations (also, loving the song choice!). I really really really hope you like this!

(Title from ‘Wicked game’ by Chris Isaak)

No one could save me but you.

Words: 887

You hung your legs off the edge of the Tardis, watching nebulas swirl in front of you with grand tones of blues and purples. It was stunningly beautiful, and you could only imagine the years these stars must have lived through. Seen others blink out, explode and die, seen planets swirl and stars shine brighter than anything. The Doctor was sat next to you, watching the nebula with a deep look in his eyes. It was like the world – no, the universe – was on fire, illuminated with cold blue flames. You could stare at it till the end of time.

You didn’t know exactly when your gaze shifted from the nebula to the Doctor, but after some time you started tracing the same nebula in his warm brown eyes. He was still staring out at it, and the thoughts whirring around in his ever-restless brain were practically tangible, radiating off him in pulsing waves.

The Doctor wasn’t like the usual men you’d been with. He was… softer. Stranger. Different in every nature but in a blindingly good way. He was him. It was the only way you could think of to describe him, indescribably him. A hundreds of years old alien with enemies everywhere, and a Tardis that could take them anywhere in the world. The man who took you on adventures, who took care of you when you needed it, who you held back when he needed it. She’d been with people before, different people. Some she’d liked, some she’d desired, some she even thought she loved. But there was a galaxy between think and know, between might love and did.

“What?”

The Doctor’s confused voice pulled her from her musings, and she found him staring back at her, brow furrowed. You tilted your head softly, tasting the words on your tongue before you dared say them. But you’d never held back before. Said what you felt, talked about love, exes, futures. You weren’t going to start now. “I’ve never been in love before,” You started nonchalantly, accompanied by a vague shrug of your shoulders. The Doctor looked startled by the subject, but you continued on. “Not truly. I’ve been with people, people who I’ve liked, but not loved. Not really loved. Not like this”

The Doctor paused. He’d gone still and there was something whirring behind his eyes, something he wouldn’t let bubble to the surface. “This?” He repeated slowly, and you gave him a soft smile.

“This. Never loved someone like this before.” You murmured, watching him carefully. You couldn’t decode whatever was going on in that head of his, buzzing through his thoughts. “You – you love me?” He murmured in a voice that was almost unrecognisable as his. It was… nervous? You’d never heard him sound nervous before. “Yes.” You said, and you, you were confident. Because looking at him, right here, right now, in the glimmering starlight, you’d never been more confident about anything in your life.

And then he smiled, softly, sadly. “You don’t love me,” He said quietly, shaking his head. There was something breaking behind his eyes, and your heart broke with it. “Not how you think. You can’t?”

“Why?” You challenged, leaning forward. He rubbed a hand against his eye, fingers brushing back to comb through spikey hair. “Because you can’t. I’m not right for you,” He looked at you earnestly with deep eyes. For a moment, he held your gaze. When he broke it you watched him turn to the stars again, little lights illuminating his face, the circles reflected in molten brown. “I’m not-“ His shoulders deflated. “You can’t love me,”

“Doctor,” You said softly, trying to tilt your head to meet his eyes. “Look at me,”

Delicately, you reached a hand out and brushed your fingers against his cheek. Finally, finally, he looked back at you and his eyes glistened. “I love you,” You repeated, and now you’d said it you couldn’t get enough of the feel of it on your tongue. The way the words fell so naturally. “You are the only person I’ve ever loved. Truly, truly loved. And I know you think you’re not worth it but you are. I love you and nothing is going to change that,” You said firmly, not looking away from him, not even for a second. “And I think, even if you don’t want to admit it, you love me to,”

The Doctor reached up and gently covered her hand with his. “Of course, I do,” He whispered. “But you – you and me – I could get you hurt. And we can’t last forever, one day…” His voice trailed off and you smiled tenderly at him. “I know. But that doesn’t mean that we can have the most wonderful time, while we have it.” You whispered back, breaths mixing with his in the starry air. “Because I’m right here, right now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

 You leant forward, softly reaching up to press your lips to his. He melted into you, deepening the kiss like it was something he’d been waiting to do for centuries. You fit together perfectly, finally, lips moving softly and eyes fluttered shut. The stars shone down on you, and you may not have forever, but it was going to be a wonderful time. You just knew it (and he did too).

[katsulia]

He offends you - part2

featuring : Atsumu, Kageyama 

TW : angst, weight insecurity 

You can find part 1 here 

a/n : sorry for the long wait ! requests are still open

Atsumu 

Not surprisingly Atsumu had got up early the next morning without any particular attention for you. Your state of mind hadn't improved and you had no motivation, so you spent the whole morning on the couch without paying attention to the TV programs. As if that wasn't enough, a message from Osamu came to remind you of the evening before.

Osamu 

How are the Onigiris I had added some that aren't on the market yet, and I would have liked your opinion? (Atsumu's is still shitty)

In front of the little enthusiasm of Atsumu you hadn't had the spirit to eat what his twin had prepared. At least it will avoid making lunch and that's good because it was the last thing you wanted to do.

You

Sorry Osamu! We didn't have the pleasure of tasting them, he was too tired! I'll give you my best opinion in a little while

Osamu

Never mind, let's do it at his next game! I've got a booth, and I could pick you up! Can't wait to see you, (not him tho) !

The match or the only thing that Atsumu was preoccupied with at the moment but that had slipped your mind. Yet you were the kind of person who never missed his games and always wore his jersey when you went there to be the best of his supporters. Today you weren't even sure you wanted to go, or even if you were welcome. If he considered you too clingy and preferred to avoid you, he probably didn't want to have to face you there. Volleyball is what he loves above all else, there was no point in tainting his bubble of happiness and it's better to let him enjoy it with his teammates. Just the thought of it made your heart tighten in your chest. Because what you loved most about him was seeing him happy on the field. If giving him space made him better able to handle your relationship then so be it. 

Atsumu came home earlier than the day before, he knew that there was no point in staying late when the game was tomorrow. Once again he threw his gym bag into the hallway before heading to the bathroom. You hadn't reacted, you had to stay back, that's what he wanted. However, when he came back into the living room, his hair still wet and only in his underpants, he sat down next to you on the sofa.

"The bastard Samu didn't stop pissing me off because I didn't give us a shot at his latest recipes. Should we do it tonight and tell him how bad it is? "His way of talking was so caustic with that notorious smirk on his face. You just nodded your head without much effort. He frowned at your reaction, or rather your lack of reaction.

"Bad day? "His question was sincere, but the truth is that it was a pretty bad evening, bad night and bad day because of him and he didn't seem to realize it. He was staring at you a little worried while your eyes avoided his, preferring the weather report. 

"Yo babe you can tell me everything, I can't risk my lucky charm being in a bad mood tomorrow. "His tone was still playful but that didn't make you want to talk to him either, which made him want to get close to you and put his arms around your waist.

"STOP! Let go of me." Your sudden outburst caught him by surprise and he let you get away from him. But the little voice in your head was just reminding you that only yesterday you were cligny in his eyes even though inside your heart was beating faster just at the sensation of that little touch.

"What's up? Seriously, tell me what's wrong?" He was completely genuine and had given up being a tease. Reluctantly he kept his hands to himself so he wouldn't offend you any more.

"I'm a cligny and that's why you just ignored me. I promise I just wanted you to relax because you're stressed out. I don't want it to happen again so... just... uh... it's fine. "Your eyes were beaming and tears were threatening to run down. This vision was heartbreaking for Atsumu who remained silent for a long time not knowing what to do. Cligny? Oh no, he could spend days hugging you. But it all came back to him. The bath left behind, the onigiris abandoned and lying far away from you in bed. It was all his fault. A wave of guilt suddenly gnawed at him. 

"I'm sorry baby. You're not cligny at all. I'm just an asshole, okay? Like, you don't deserve this at all. And you're way too good for me, I'm really sorry. I was stressed out and I made you feel like you didn't deserve my attention. "His voice for once wasn't serene, but he felt really bad. He ventured out again and tried to take you gently in his arms, and to his delight you let him. 

"I am truly sorry. What I suggest we eat these famous Onigiri ? And then go to bed with each other. And tomorrow after my game, we can do whatever you want. I'll even book a day at your favorite spa, okay? That's what you deserve. I'll even stay home all week just for cuddles. "He spoke softly as he stroked your hair. You knew he was sincere and that's why you didn't answer and kept your eyes closed enjoying the pleasant feeling of his fingers on your scalp. 

And as he had promised, he respected everything he had said, becoming a bit too cligny himself.

Kageyama

When you went to bed you locked yourself in the bathroom to put on your clothes to sleep. Something you never usually did, as you were never ashamed to change in front of Kageyama. He didn't really pay much attention to it, but you preferred that he avoided seeing you so vulnerable for fear that his eyes would look a little too much at the places where he didn't like your body. You waited behind the door until the light was finally turned off to go back to your room, not letting him see what was hidden under your pyjamas. You slipped into the sheets quickly while putting as much distance between you and him as possible, which would prevent him from feeling you and being repulsed by your heavy body. This too wasn't your usual behaviour, you always snuggled up to him, saying that his body was working like a permanent heater. But once again Kageyama was a little dense.

Even more surprisingly, you got up before him so that he wouldn't see you get changed and you opted for large jogging pants and a big sweater. He finally woke up and was quite stunned to see you already up and focused on your phone but didn't make any remarks. There are days like that he thought. He invited you to join him for breakfast, but to his dismay you had already had it, or at least that's what you said. The internet articles on how to lose weight and body fat were much more important and a bowl of chocolate cereal was not going to help you. When he was done he sat on the couch with you. He just wanted to enjoy the weekend with you and judging by the outfit you looked like you wanted to stay home and chill, which he didn't mind. However, you didn't lift your head off your phone and pay him any attention.

"What are you doing on your phone? "He was always so straightforward, but his curiosity itched him not understanding how you could stay away from him.

"Nothing special..." But once again your eyes stayed focused on the screen of your phone and he couldn't help but look over your shoulder. Sports programs? Why were you looking into that? He already had a coach and a whole team of nutritionists and you really didn't need to worry about him.

"Y/N you don't have to..." His life choices didn't have to affect your daily life, no matter if he had to incorporate animal proteins at lunch and fruity smoothies in the morning you didn't have to endure it. Still in your head, you did. You needed to lose weight, to build up your body. You were on two different wavelengths. He didn't push the subject any further, knowing full well that he wouldn't let you do it at the table, and he opted to put his head on your lap and let his hand caress your thighs. Immediately you took his hand off your thighs and tried to push his head away. He couldn't and shouldn't feel what was under your jogging pants. 

Kageyama was more than startled. Had he done something wrong? This sudden reaction from you was unexpected and he couldn't understand why.

"Is my head too heavy for your laps? "How ironic was it, heavy was he? Whereas yesterday it was you. The words were stuck in your throat and your breathing accelerated; you were in a state of panic and didn't know what to say or how to get out of this humiliating situation. You would do anything to forget what Kageyama had said the day before when he didn't seem to remember at all. You know that he was often clueless but right away it only made you feel worse. His gaze was still fixed on you looking for the source of your discomfort in order to understand what was wrong with you. He was lost and was not used to all this, which increased his stress level. His exterior was almost imperceptible, except for the fact that his eyes were frantically scanning your body from top to bottom. It was worse, you felt embarrassed and naked under his blue pupils but still didn't dare to say anything. Inside his mind was only stirring to try to understand what was going on and already he felt guilty for not being able to assess the problem and help you. Finally the first tears came to your cheeks, which only made you feel more embarrassed, but he couldn't stay silent.

"Did I hurt you? " The tone of his voice indicated hesitation and a severe lack of confidence. He wanted to help you but felt powerless and hated himself for it. Every time you were there for him when he came back from defeat or frustration and the one time you needed him he was of no use.

"Uh... no." You, on the other hand, hated yourself for being so weak and sensitive. You had nothing to prove to him and crying for so little seemed totally stupid. Yet you couldn't help the fact that it was him and that he was always so clueless really did put a strain on your chest. Kageyama gulped down his saliva with difficulty still not knowing what to do. All of a sudden you started talking again.

"I just don't understand. If you don't like the way I am, why do you stay with me? I know you can date any girl with an athletic body like yours. "Your eyes were empty and tears kept coming out which made your voice even weaker. He still didn't understand, where did all these ideas come from? "I know I don't look like them, but you could have said long before that my body was too big for your. That's why I want to do some sport, so that you don't think I'm heavy when I lie down with you. » 

And that's when he realized... He was definitely the worst boyfriend in the world: his lack of communication and his inability to express his feelings well was problematic, but he had taken it to another level. This time it was his words that hurt. He would accept a defeat at the hands of Hinata rather than this, knowing that he was the one causing the pain of his favorite person was terrible. But certainly not as awful as what you're dealing with right now, and the insecurity that it brought you.

"You're perfect. I... I think you're perfect like that. And there's nothing to change. I'm... I'm sorry. I don't think you have to change your body or your weight at all. What I said yesterday was totally inappropriate. I wasn't expecting you to join me. I was focused on my game. And I know that's no excuse! Not a valid argument at all! Just please don't listen to my nonsense. I'm the worst at it. "He couldn't find the right words to express how guilty he felt and to be able to comfort you as you did so well when it came to him. Your head rose up to face him. For a long minute you stared at each other without either of you knowing what to say. And when you cracked a tiny smile Kageyama felt himself revived and meticulously he moved closer to you, taking your hand with his thumb stroking it.

"I am the worst. "And he rushed straight into your arms, his head in the crook of your neck. He liked to feel his body against yours and wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Eventually he detached himself from you and suddenly carried you like a princess.

"Heavy? Says who? Probably some idiot. You're literally perfect. " It was already the third time he used the word 'perfect' and your heart exploded. You also felt the heat rising up to your cheeks almost like the red tint of Kageyama's. There was no need for more words and as he continued to carry you he led you to your room. In his case actions proved more than words and he intended to show you that by first gently removing your sweater. And that's how he put his stamina to the test. 

[absoluteindulgence]

HC: Hot Girl Summer with the Boys

A/N: Hey y’all, I’m back... Let’s party. This is a magical world where the Rona has not taken over the world and summertime was filled with nothing but fun and bad choices ✌🏿. Sorry that it’s long, I had a lot of thoughts lmao. I hope you guys like this~ Characters are aged up⬆🆙

☀ 🌞Mirio🌞☀

Staying home reading a book... just fucking kidding

Mirio couldn't keep his ass still even if you told him to

This man is taking you all over the world, every amusement park to every ride.

Ever looked fear in the face? Well, being in front of every rollercoaster multiple times means you have.

His true daredevil nature comes out as you both try to see who will last longer going down the roller coaster

You've wanted to throw in the towel many times, but persevered, beating Mirio by a landslide. 

Due to all the crowded lines and the fact that you're heroes, everyone lets you skip. You try being modest, but it doesn't work as the other patrons say, "Not only are you my favorite heroes but my favorite couple. You deserve to have fun!"

The willingness of everyone approving of your vacation time is gratifying, to say the least.

After spending time doing all the extreme rides, You guys enjoy all the other stalls.

Ironic enough, Mirio comes across the win-a-prize games and swears to get you one.

You try to tell him not to worry, but that fires him up more. I guess in his blonde brain, he thinks you don't want one, so he wants to prove your cute ass wrong.

And oh boy, did he.

He had accurate precision: Throwing the ball in the cup, throwing the hoop onto the bottle, shooting the paper plate off entirely.

Mirio the Assassin confirmed

After managing to win 4 STUFFED ANIMALS, 3 are for you while 1 goes to Eri.

The feels right in the kokoro~

With enough wins under his belt, Mirio treats you to bubble tea and taiyaki. With no shame, you stuff your face happy to finally enjoy food that won't come up.

"Wow, this taiyaki sure is great! But nothing is as sweet as you, baby."

Heart: ABLAZE

This goofball can't even let you enjoy your food in silence. But his honest smile compliments the moment as your flushed cheeks puff from drinking your favorite thirst quencher.

The day ends with you walking around the amusement park, arms full of toys, and finding a unique spot to watch the marvel of the sunset.

As you hold hands, a glance is shared as you two share a passionate kiss.

❄Shouto🔥

You guys are spending a lot of time reading manga and going to cafes.

Shouto lives to see you get dressed up as you let your hair flow in the wind (no matter how long or short, he knows you like the cool air on your scalp. The smile that spreads across your face is contagious as he stares at you with a similar grin)

Your beauty leaves all the other pedestrians gawking as Shouto, nonchalant but proud holds your hand.

Some fans come up to take selfies with you guys and damn do the photos look good. 

Going to various cafes through Japan has been a bucket list that you've shared since your first date. Rating each and creating a rating system. When all other plans fail, the top-rated are the ones you'll go back to.

The day is mellow, leaving you to stay inside because you feel like it. Cuddling with Shouto has proved to be an all-time favorite.

His light snores turn into light conversations. He has a hard time opening his eyes since he feels secure in having you by his side.

When you finally wake up, you cook together, his fave ofc, Cold-ass Soba. (One time you pranked him by boiling the noodles in strawberry milk, and he retaliated by putting pepper in your tea. On that day, you learned not to come between a man and his soba)

When yearning for a little excitement, you drag Shouto to a karaoke bar

He tries not to get too involved, but then you play one of his favorite angsty songs, and he's singing like one of the greats

You can't tell me that Shouto wouldn't vibe to Linkin Park, 3 Days Grace or The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Especially when he hated Endeavor to his core)

Shouto would give an excellent performance to Breaking The Habit, Home, and Face Down. I FEEL IT IN MY SPIRIT!!!

The only way you feel like you'll win…. Is if you rap Monster (Nicki's Verse ofc) or sing My Heart Will Go On lmao

Shouto thinks you're cheating tho because those are your trump cards when all else fails lmaooo

After the scream-singing match is done, you guys go home and drink a bunch of tea, hoping your voices aren't gone by the morning

💥Bakugou💥

If you're going to an amusement park, y'all going straight to the "horror" houses.

You guys usually go in to laugh at the horrible attempts to make you scared. Until there's that one jump scare that makes your heart leap out your chest.

You're breathless with the mocking laugh caught in your throat as you grip close to Katsuki's side.

This fiery bastard laugh gets even louder seeing you cower in embarrassment. Once he's done making fun of you, he kisses your forehead.

"About damn time, you move in close."

Now say you're not at an amusement park? You guys are going to the spa.

Not because you're tense but because it's always funny seeing Katsuki tense up when they try to butter him with complimentary things (thanks to being top heroes).

He hates going to public spaces and getting stuff for free. He wants to pay for the experience so that no one can say he takes advantage of his status.

Although it creates funny scenarios, you respect how committed he is.

His reasoning is that he's a citizen paying another citizen for their service.

Granted, if the service is excellent, the worker is guaranteed a tip (depending on the country since he likes to follow customs).

The funniest thing is him coming from Massage therapy, he's a big ol’ softie.

The cuddles are intense, and his face never changes from the color pink, and his smile is curved too high.

Onlookers seeing him smile are terrified, and yet you are smushing his face between your hands kissing him all over.

"You look so relaxed, Boomer, let's take a bath together~."

Coming back to his senses, he'll grit his teeth a little and retort, "I'm not a damn Boomer!"

He's not mad that you called him that he's just mad you said it in public LMFAO

🌋Kirishima🌋

You guys are spending most of your time at the beach, soaking in the sun and enjoying his thick ass hands rubbing sunscreen all over your body

Don't let him see you enjoying it, he might have to pull you away from the public and give you that good ole sea cucumber

But when he can't get your sweetness right away, he'll have to push his energy into something else

And ofc, Kiri has an active personality, and when you mix that with demolishing opponents while playing volleyball, you too get into your competitive mode.

Anyone playing against you guys will catch HELL. Some cried from the impact of the ball, hitting them. Some deserving for the shit-talking...

Others getting sincere apologies and an autograph or picture lmao

Everyone on the beach knows you two as the power couple, and you win the nicknames, Otters of the Sand.

After kicking so much ass, you guys enter an eating contest as a team. Everyone's surprised to see how many bowls you've cleared. The appetite is already built up, so you guys are willing to stuff your faces until you're waddling back to the hotel.

And with the stamina you've gained at UA, you made it happen. In Second place to Kiri. He basks in his crown, winning first place, and you guys happily waddle back to your hotel room, taking a shower together then cuddling.

Imagine you guys decide to stay lax the whole summer, video, and card games are the vibe.

You try hard to kick his ass in Smash and end up losing... No matter who you main. You even try random (3 times) and still lose.

"Wow, Babe, you're doing well for a sore loser. You almost got a 3 stock victory!"

His laugh ticks you off even though he's just teasing you, and you wanna switch the game. Even in the back of your head, you deem it pointless, but he still obliges you.

No tlk angy frm l0sng😡💢

When you've played your last game, you accept your defeat only to tickle him into submission.

He apologizes and wraps you into a bear hug smothering you in kisses.

[dakotafinely]

Hello can I please get some rottmnt headcannons of the turtles having a s/o that is a cheerleader?Like asking splinter to go to their s/o's school to see them cheerleading or showing their routine to them since their s/o wants to perfect it.Does cute cheers for the turtles if they're having a bad day or wanna show them some love.

(Sorry if this was too long😅)

No! Don't apologize, this is fantastic the way you sent it!!

*Rubs hands together aggressively* Alright! Let’s do this!

Raph:

First time he saw you in uniform, he fainted.

Woke up again, saw you, boom out again.

It was kinda sweet and dorky and it made you smile.

Kinda like a supportive mom

Always has healthy snacks for you (And sometimes unhealthy)

Tries to get what your telling him about your practices, but honestly he has no idea what’s going on

You practice for him, and say you did something wrong, he would have 0 ideas what what that would be

Splinter let’s him go to a game via a cloaking broach and he is just

So LOUD

But it’s only to cheer you on

On the bright side, it seemed to hype the rest of the crowd up (despite how red you got when he stood there holding a sign with your name on it)

Leo:

LIVES for any gossip you give him about cheer leading

LOVES it even MORE when you teach him, and hey! It’s good practice too!

May not be the mom type of supportive, but he is EXTREMELY supportive.

Tries his best to learn as much as he can to see how he can help you out

It’s actually the most he’s invested in anything so-

Is actually to your games quite often (since he can hide in more spaces then Raph)

But the first time he goes with a cloaking broach, and you look up there to see him smiling down at you and waving like a mad man. Giving you thumbs up and squealing so loudly it can be heard over the crowd.

Man, that was the euphoria high of you LIFE

Donnie:

Isn’t really one whose into sports (Cause he’s not good at it-)

So you weren’t too keen on telling him right away, just because you didn’t want to bore him

You tell him and he goes HAM

Questions, facts, more questions, and a little bit of a lecture about not telling him

But your just glad he’s actually interested

Your also surprised that he knows more about cheer than you

Is weirdly the best at giving you critique on your cheers. He’s blunt but you know he’s just trying to help.

Gives you decently healthy snacks, but not as often as Raph would

First time he every goes to see you, he hates the crowd, the noise, the smells jeez.

But you, oh when he sees you smile up at him for showing up, he’s knocked out. Full KO.

And next thing he knows, he’s just as loud as the crowd.

Mikey:

Has helped you make up some awesome cheers for your squad to use

Because he uses Razzmatazz, your often giving each other tips and practicing flips together.

Cause he cooks, you get them gourmet feasts instead of just a snack.

Has made you several variations of your uniform which you LOVE and they look FANTASTIC, but you can never use them because, ya know, school uniform.

He also comes to a lot of your games like Leo does.

But when he finally uses a cloaking broach he goes ALL OUT

Your school colors, a shirt with your face on it, a sign with your name, he’s shouting praises at you

Does the cheer squad even need to be out here with this boi being so hype

Yup, because if your weren’t out there, he wouldn’t care.

April:

How she got with a cheerleader, she’ll never know.

Is always impressed by your flexibility and razzmatazz skills

Is at every game for you, though she’s a bit less embarrassing then the bois (Not by much tho)

Very supportive even though she’s always very clueless when it comes to this sport

Brags about you all the time (I mean, even if you weren’t a cheerleader she would, but the cheer leading gives her something extra to brag about)

Has drug the bois to at least one game to cheer you on

Is often carrying around your Gatorade/sports drink of your choice and granola bars.

[All of them, doesn’t matter who, get really bubbly and blushy when you do a cheer to cheer them up or because you want to show affection, its so cute they wanna just- aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA]

Idk much about cheer but I hope none of this seemed to outlandish!! Also ik you didn’t ask for April content, but I felt the call in my soul so-

[junosartsthetic]

Rohan Headcanons

Here’s eight pages of Rohan shit I wrote late at night. I should stop doing that. But alas, I won’t.

Okey

HeS a lil shit

That’s canon

But

He’s also kinda 🥺🥺

Heavens door also is 🥺🥺

if Rohan isn’t in the mood to give affection heavens door will gladly hug you for hOUrs

like

It’ll just nestle up against your chest and sorta,,,, fall asleep almost?

N ur like Rohan it’s asleep on my tits

N he’s like,,,, god I wish that were me…. I mean,,,, uhh,,, fuckin sucks 4 you guess you’ll just suffer

he likes drawing you

lol sketches on napkins n such

He just likes lookin at ur face

🥺🥺🥺🥺

He also has a pen somewhere lost in his hair

He keeps it there just in case his other ones get lost

Somehow

Even tho he’s got so fuCKin many

Also he lovEs learning things!

He’ll pick up a book about anything and read it just because

He’ll try to impress u with weird n random facts

Most of the time it doesn’t work

he likes when you mess with his hair

On the outside he’s like

DOnt fuckin touCh me but on the inside he’s like,,,, oooo head scritches r niceeeee

He believes he has an exceptional sense of style and doesn’t take criticism

He wears silk pajamas

But only sometimes

99% of the time he sleeps in his clothes because he passes out from exhaustion mid-drawing

Rohan also likes writing

Just lil things

Poems n such

He’s rather sentimental about certain things

He likes to go to libraries even though he’s got a bunch of books at home because he believes it allows him to better absorb the information he needs

He hates off brand things

It’s a maJor pet peeve

“What the hell is this?”

“What do you mean? They’re pop tarts?”

“THESE ARE NATURALLY FLAVORED FROSTED BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON TOASTER PASTRIES GREAT VALUE BRAND™️!”

“Yeah, pop tarts.”

“JAHDHWHXUWUDUWHDGWG”

He likes to wear slippers

Bunny slippers

They’re cute

He got heavens door a lil pair of them

Gotta match, ya know?

He picks at his eyelashes when he’s nervous

You gotta tell him to stop or else he’s gonna have to wear falsies

That makes him quit for a little while at least

He once accidentally stabbed himself with a pen but refused to go to Josuke for help

He’s still got a scar from it

his house has a basement but he’s never gone down to it

Too scary

He just says he has no use for it

Lies!

He’s a scaredy-cat

He can play quite a few instruments

He can also sing

He sings in the shower

It’s not half bad but his song choices tend to be awful

“STOP FUCKING SINGING ‘I KISSED A GIRL’ IN THE SHOWER OVER AND OVER! ITS SEVEN IN THE MORNING AND IM SICK OF IT!”

He’s got an embarrassing tattoo somewhere

Probably something stupid like a butterfly on his calf

He pretends it doesn’t exist

He used to read random people’s memories with heavens door when bored or uninspired but after a mortifying memory he read he stopped doing that

He once had a coo-coo clock but smashed it because it was getting on his nerves

he hates the sound of gum chewing

It’s the worst™️ to him

he sometimes forgets to shower

Nasty

But when he does shower it is extra™️

He takes reaaaaally long showers

And sings, as established

what the fuck does he even do in there?

Idfk

It’s a secret

He orders takeout because he can’t fucking cook

He’s trash at it

He tries

But he just can’t do it

he tends to make faces when he draws

It’s hilarious

He once drank 17 five hour energies to see what would happen

He doesn’t remember what happened

He awoke 2 days later in the hospital

he enjoys playing scrabble but only because everyone who plays against him ends up crying in anger when they lose

He owns a bunch of record players for the aesthetic™️

Doesn’t use them like ever

Owns like 3 records that he will play once in a blue moon

Everything he does is for the aesthetic™️ tbh

He likes to be held

But only under certain circumstances 

Do nOT touch when he is in the middle of drawing something intense

He will turn around and sMAck you with his pen (on purpose or accident? Idk)

He’s clingy

He’s needy

He’s whiny

He’s like a puppy

But with the ego of a cat

He’ll be actively spooning you but assures you he is nOt having the time of his life

Eventually he admits he likes hugs n human contact

But at first it’s like trying to give a cat a bath

Yikes™️

Speaking of baths… bath time!

He likes baths

They’re nice

Bubble baths

They help him think 

And he likes to mess with the bubbles

He likes the smell of candles too

You normally buy him candles in special occasions 

He loves them

Most of the time

Occasionally he will despise the scent but keep the candle around anyway because he feels bad throwing away a gift

Well, a gift from his s/o

Anyone else he’ll tOss that sucker into the trash

The gift— not the gift giver

Maybe

If it’s Josuke— he’s in the dumpster 

Uhhhh

Slightly nsfw but uhh,,,

Boob stress balls?

Nice

It’s a win-win situation tbh

soft, moldable, attached to someone he loves

Amazing

You’ve gotten used to it tbh

Whatever calms him down

Also he likes when you kiss his forehead before going to bed

He’ll be staying up to finish something and you’ll kiss him good night and leave your chapstick on his forehead and he just—

Makes him feel loved

He won’t admit it though

you usually initiate the affection

Sometimes he’ll hold your hand or something in public

In private he’ll be more outgoing but deny it means anything

“What, no I didn’t mean to touch your ass it was an accident”

“You’re still touching my ass”

“It’s still an accident”

you two also get in realllly stupid arguments 

“Did you open this door?”

“What?”

“Did you open it?”

“Why would I open the basement door?”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Liar!”

“Why would I lie about that?”

he’s a blanket hog

Also loves his pillows

He wears a lil sleep mask to bed

It’s cute

he unironically has a hydro flask

It keeps his water cold

He finds the jingling of the ice in it annoying though

I think he wouldn’t enjoy digital art because he can’t feel the paper and the ink and it’s not as personal

he likes eating ramen

Even though it’s terrible for him

If you look closely there are little stains on his papers

It’s ramen broth

But it’s convenient and he can’t cook for shit so it’s what he eats

He acts all refined but he’s not if you look closely

He’s got a reallly messy closet I bet

He tries to keep organized but it’s difficult!

He likes drawing birds

Idk why

Birb

He’s got a framed picture of you on his desk

He looks at it when he’s feeling stressed

It usually calms him down and gets him ready to work

you’ve nude modeled for him a couple times

Half the time he’s not even sketching

You don’t care though

Seeing his suave facade and expression be replaced with red cheeks and stifling coughs is cute

By the end you just give him a kiss and then it leads to—

The nsfw is for later

anyway

He’s tried to get you to draw

But anything you draw he criticizes so harshly that you’ve sworn off showing him your drawings 

You know he’s doing it to help you

But it still hurts

you’ll sometimes help shading things in his manga

It’s the only thing he trusts you to do

But only on minor panels

And in small patches

But you still get credit as a background artist so you’re happy

You paint his nails a lot

He doesn’t mind

his favorite color is a dark green like his hair, though he also enjoys gold to match his stand

[killmygoldenn]

I want him to do my policeman so bad. I read it and I have a good feeling he'd be great in something like that. But jesus....people being angry make so much sense because if you don't follow him from 2013 or even from 2017 you can totally think he's just that rich guy who dated Taylor and Kendall and now hooks up with his hot boss that likes to wear women fashion for fun for money or headlines but nothing more. And he's way more than that....his team really let him down on that regard and while I do think he shouldn't be forced to talk about anything, it reached a point that he can damage his own career and not doing things he wants to do only because of not being more open and approachable to fans which is a shame. Maybe he has issues with it because he preferer to let people see one side of him, maybe he got used to the world knowing him as a ladies man and has a fear of change, maybe he worries this will cause massive drama for Louis..who knows. But for his sake, they need to adress some things. He deserves to do projects and wear things he likes without getting attacked

Honestly speaking I don't know if I want him to do the role, even tho like we have no choice and there is the confirmation for the role. I liked the story personally, but I get why other people don't like the story. I understand the sentiments of the lgbtq community of being tired of the bury your gays trope and sad endings because it's justified. People being tired of not seeing themselves being represented in queer stories, having to see every queer story being white because it's justified. I do think he could play this role well *cough* due to multiple reasons *cough* but I understand why people don't want it.

Ah yeah I agree with the first part, to people who haven't followed him or aren't in the fandom, it would seem like a straight guy who playing around with his sexuality and gender (read: queerbating). And I can't blame them because that is what it comes off as to them. I read few comments of screenshots I found under the gaytimes post and I swear to god they made me feel so horrible but knowing that that is how people see Harry breaks my heart.

But I get what they mean. There are so many out queer artists, struggling to get roles because of their sexuality. The gay roles which they are things that they should have also go to straight people in terms of their qualifications. So, queer community being angry about this is absolutely right on their part. As for Harry, I don't think he would have accepted this without knowing about the backlash he is going to get and without being ready for it. Maybe he has a plan about what he's going to do and how to handle this. I have no idea how his team is going to handle this, but I really hope they do not brush this off because it's really important. I'm curious to see what they do.

And also, about Harry's image. Probably against popular belief, I don't think he's forced to do things by his management. I do think he makes conscious decisions in his career. I just feel that at this point Harry is at a comfortable position up till now when it comes to expressing himself. He is able to connect with us and his queer side through this performances and imagery and fashion and at the same time is able to market himself to the hets and GP. I don't believe someone has to come out in order for them to stop people from telling that they are queerbating, that if someone comes out, it should be on their own terms. Since Harry is in a pretty decent position rn, I understand why he wouldn't want to explicitly state his sexuality and only keeps alluding to it. I get that he cares about his career and in the industry he is a part of, this is the only best way he can go forth with things and that is not wrong. But now since he did choose to play this role he needs to understand that he can't like, be in his safe bubble. They would have to make some statement about his relationship with the queer community which already because all of this it's very strained. And it they are planning on making a statement on his sexuality I really hope they take this up as a chance.

(And note that I haven't gotten into the whole cop thing which is also problematic, I feel like this post puts that clearly since I do not think I have can explain it right)

So about the whole movie do I think it's a good idea? No. But do I think they could probably handle the situation by talking about it and clearing up things and being a bit more transparent? Maybe, but I don't have lot of hopes.

[4lix]

hello, i’m so happy you’re making a comeback. since you’re in the mood to write abt chan, may i request a best friends to lovers trope?

friends to lovers ★ bang chan ↳ gender-neutral. fluff.

okay so falling in love with ur best friend is a big L but its one u are more than willing to take for christopher bang

first things first, chan loves people with his whole mf heart.

whether its family, friends, or romantic interests

so when it comes down to him falling for his best friend? idk if he’d really realize it unless someone literally spelled it out for him, he’d just mistake his affection towards you as just the same kind of best friend love he has for ˙his group members

he’d never think much about the fact that most of his song lyrics these days were getting oddly too specific in detail about a certain someone

or how whenever he felt down his gut reaction was to call you up because the sound of your voice seemed to make everything better

or how he really really likes cuddling with you after long days of practice

and when you stop by the studio when he’s stuck on a track and just pull him to the couch to lay down for a while to get a break from staring at that damned screen, he’d instantly relax in your hold, sighing in content as your fingers twirled around his curls

and yeah his stomach is filled with butterflies and his ears are all red all that corny stuff but you’re his best friend and best friends cuddle sometimes too right?

best friends also feel the urge to kiss one another on the cheeks? perhaps sometimes they fantasize about what it would be like to kiss each other on the lips?

ok maybe not.

chan knew some of his thoughts were a bit odd. but you were really pretty so it was understandable. you were his safe place and the closest thing he had to home besides his members.

unbeknownst to him, you were honestly no better, a bit more aware of the fact that you could possibly be in love with the idiot but you were still in denial nonethless

whenever felix or hyunjin would tease you about your relationship with chan you’d feign disgust like he’s my best friend that’s weird! but your cheeks are red anyways and you’re kind of stuttering and hey is it hot in here or what-

when you had tough days chan would spam you with encouraging texts, a million obnoxious emojis, memes, just anything to make you smile and it always always worked, just the sight of a notification from chan always made you light up but that’s what best friends are for right?  

friends make the world seem brighter, that’s all chan was to you, a friend.

and chan cared a lot about his friends, so it only made sense..

but unlike his other friends, you always got special treatment

he’d give you gifts for your friendship anniversary despite all the suggestive looks from his group members, kissed your forehead when bidding you goodbye and always sent you good morning and good night texts each and every single day

he’d go out of his way for you always and all of that just seemed normal, natural to him. because he loves with his whole heart and he doesn’t even realize it

he wouldn’t really come to terms with things until one of the members like screams at him to just stfu already because he won’t stop talking about you and he somehow makes everything about you and it’s driving them insane

they’d be like we get it you’re in love with y/n shut up already

and he’d just be a stuttering mess like !! no im not !! and yet his heart is racing in his chest and everyone looks at him with an unamused glare

changbin would be like “everything you’ve written these last few weeks are all about them-”

felix would chime in like “you killed your phone battery texting them all day and then used my phone to call them so you could talk for three hours straight.”

jisung is like “yeah and you bought like ten different gifts for your friendship  anniversary but you gave me a set of socks for my birthday-”

huh wait maybe he is in love with you.

“those socks were knitted and really nice.” would be his only line of defense

the rest of the afternoon the members would just tease him about all his lovesick puppy habits that he was completely unaware of

like how his face lights up the moment you walk into the room

or how he can never go shopping without picking up something for you because hey y/n would look really cute in this!

and that he even mumbles your name sometimes when he’s sleeping lord help the boy

things kind of go to hell because now he can’t look at you without blushing and stuttering

he’s panicking because how the hell could he have fallen in love with his best friend who probably only sees him as a brother? if you liked him back surely you would’ve let him know by now, i mean if he was as obvious as his members said he was with his feelings there’s no way you weren’t aware of his infatuation with you.

but you were on the same boat really, to you, it seemed as though chan was affectionate with everyone, he smooched jeongin’s cheeks every now and then, and the socks he got for jisung’s birthday were kind of nice? you weren’t that special right? there’s no way chan could fall in love with someone like you anyways... right?

you knew him better than you knew yourself so his odd behaviour definitely did not go unnoticed even tho your sheer lack of brain cells prevented you from realizing why he was acting odd in the first place

the good morning and good night texts stopped, the spams of memes stopped, it was just radio silence for a few days and it was starting to freak you out but it was close to the deadline for the new album so he could just be stressed and you could just be overreacting

you figured you’d stop by the studio at like ass o’clock like always with some takeout for chan because you knew he never ate much when he pulled all nighters, you even threw in some of his favorite snacks and energy drinks, bringing your laptop with you to get some work done of your own hopefully

you did your signature knock on the door before entering but chan still jumped at the sight of you, weirdly startled by your presence, avoiding your eyes and only managing to cough and give you a tilt of a nod in greeting before gluing his eyes back to his computer screen

your first initial reaction is did i do something wrong :( and you intend to ask chan about it but he puts his headphones in and seems rather busy, you remind yourself again that he’s just focused on the new album he’d never purposefully ignore you.

you’ll ask him later, taking a seat on the couch, scrolling through social media mindlessly as your thoughts can’t seem to drift away from the boy across from you and how fluffy and soft his hair looks today.

after a good fifteen minutes pass, chan still hasn’t touched the food you brought which leaves you no choice but to annoy him to ensure he takes proper care of himself. calling his name multiple times to no avail, you tap the space bar, pausing the track before removing his headphones.

“channie, you can ignore me if you want to but i won’t let you ignore getting your vitamins and nutrients. i know you didn’t eat dinner. so eat.” he’s still not looking at you, just nods, clearing his throat awkwardly before turning over towards the takeout you brought for him and taking a seat at the couch.

you follow behind him, sitting right beside him. just a week ago you were here with chan laying on your chest, watching tiktoks of cats but now here you were, in the same spot but this time chan was silent, closed off. the complete opposite to his usual warm and bubbly demeanor.

he didn’t even bother to deny the fact that he was ignoring you, he just ate silently and fear starts to consume you because maybe chan really was upset with you?

before you figured he was probably just stressed and overly focused on the track he was working on but now it seems obvious he’s blatantly ignoring you, not even sparing a thank you for the takeout which was really unlike him. he always thanked you for taking care of him with tight hugs and sloppy kisses on your forehead. now he didn’t even look at you.

half of you was agitated that he was giving you the silent treatment instead of just being honest with you about whatever was bothering him but the other half of you really wanted to smooch his chubby cheeks filled with rice because wow he looked really really cute.

as annoyed with him as you were, you couldn’t help but appreciate his bareface, it was you favorite look of all, when he didn’t look like a famous idol, instead just a regular boy with blemishes and unruly hair in grey sweats and a hoodie.

a grain of rice hugged the corner of his lip, you fought back the urge to kiss it away. he was so unfairly attractive it made you want to punch him

you lean forward, reaching out to him to wipe the stray food away but he evades your touch, leaving your hand raised awkwardly out in front of you in rejection. now he didn’t even want you to touch him?

“did i do something wrong?” you didn’t realize how hurt you were by his silence, by his disgust of you, how he felt like a stranger these days. you kicked yourself inwardly for sounding so broken but the tone of voice seemed to strike something in chan because he finally met eyes with you for the first time in what felt like forever.

“w-what no not at a-all what makes you think that?”

“chan you’ve ignored all my texts for the last three days. you haven’t talked to me in nearly a week and now you can’t even spare a hello when i come in? you’re even avoiding my touch like i have the plague or something.” guilt washes over him immediately and he puts down the plate of food and looks at you with those brown eyes that are all sad and regretful and you forgive him before he even opens his mouth because you’re just that helplessly in love with the idiot

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to, really, i just have a lot on my mind right now and i just...” he turns to look away again but you place your hand to his chin, turning him forward to meet eyes with you again, he doesn’t shy away from your touch this time

“chan if i said something or did something wrong that bothered you, y’know you can always talk to me right?” you said earnestly, cupping his cheek in your hand, he leaned into your touch, humming gently. relief enraptured your heart, along with warmth

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i promise.” his eyes don’t leave yours, nor does his voice waver, so you believe him

“then why are you ignoring me?”

“because...” he tries to get the words out but his brain is going a mile a minute and you’re really close to him. you’re turned to face him, sitting criss crossed, knees bumping against his, he can feel your body warmth and it’s kind of sending him into overdrive

“because?” you urge him further, unable to help your lips from curling downwards in worry. he’s silent still, biting his bottom lip anxiously and you consider giving up for a moment but then he pulls your hand away from his cheek, instead holding it tight in his.

“i realized something. the guys, they made me realize some things.” he starts, eyes flittering past each and every single one of your features, admiring them silently to himself. how did it take him so long to realize he was in love with you? you were beautiful, his best friend, his whole heart, his muse.

earlier, his eyes were glued to the screen because he was rereading the words he’s written over the last few weeks and he couldn’t quite believe he wrote lyrics that were literally entirely about you and he had no idea, just assumed he had some new rush of creativity or something.

of course he was in love with you, he always been in love with you.

“yeah?” you rub your thumb over his hand slowly in an attempt to ease some of his anxieties. whatever it was he needed to tell you, it was clearly taking a toll on him, he was fidgeting, sighing over in over again and shaking his head trying to clear his thoughts. you felt a bit bad, perhaps you were prying too much?

“look i just–– i know we’re best friends, and the last thing i want to do is jeopardize that so if what im about to say makes you uncomfortable or something j-just forget it ever happened okay?” unknowingly, you hold in you breath, fear for his next words knocking the wind out of you.

“i... i like you. like like you, and- i don’t know how to deal with it so i’ve just been avoiding you and i’m sorry- wait why are you laughing?” his eyebrows are all furrowed and his cheeks are bright red and he’s squeezing your hand in confusion and you just look at him and just die of laughter

why were you laughing? you weren’t sure. maybe it was relief? joy? just pure utter love for the idiot in front of you?

“channie-” you attempt, but your laughter still has control over your lungs so you just cling to the boy helplessly, looking up at him with so much happiness in your eyes that he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful that maybe this laughter is good laughter?

“why are you laughing! i just confessed to you, put my heart out on the line and your response is laughter?” he’s smiling despite the confused tone of his voice, nudging you playfully but you pull him into you, shoving your face in the crook of his neck trying your hardest to get out the last of your giggles. with one last deep sigh, you prepare yourself to finally give him a proper response

“i’m sorry for laughing channie i’m just really happy. and relieved.” you finally pull away from him, resting your forehead against his, cupping his face once again in your hands.

“i like you too chan, i’ve liked you for a really really long time.”

the smile that lights up his face is one you’ll never forget, his eyes practically disappear, his dimples protruding through those precious cheeks of his and you can’t help the small laugh in happiness at the sight

“thank god i was actually losing my mind you know, changbin and jisung have been making fun of me all week, clowning me for being a lovesick puppy.”

“is that why they’ve been wiggling their eyebrows whenever i walk by-”

“unfortunately yes.”

“chan you should’ve just told me!”

“yeah well! i thought you saw me as like a brother or something!”

“what- no! i’ve literally been in love with you since the moment we met you idiot-”

“yeah well i’ve been writing songs about you for the last month, songs that you helped with and you didn’t notice a thing-”

at that you just :O bc realization hits u like a train n yea wait a minute he was pretty obvious..

he just gets all red again and then you smile at him and he’s smiling back at you and with the dopiest grin on his face he’s like

“can i kiss u..” and u dont bother to reply you just grab his cheeks and connect your lips with his

the kiss is kind of a mess tho bc you’re both just so ridiculously happy that you can’t stop smiling so yea its not a proper kiss but its filled with giggles and each time you pull away chan only leans forward to peck you again and again because he cant seem to get enough really and he’s just so elated that he can finally do this as many times as he wants

in conclusion chan loml<3 

requests are open! :) ↳ notes: tysm for all the kind welcome back msgs ily all sm omg <3  i ended up combining two requests as they were a bit similar i hope thats okay hehe <3 also sry if this is sloppy this is my first post in a long time & im kind of rusty .. whew

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Make love, not war: The anti- OBX drama edition

Okay kids, listen up.

I’m too old for all of this drama and I’ve been on this hellsite for way too long to just keep watching it in silence so this is gonna be my only, long ass post about this mess that has occured/is occuring. I’m trying to get my thoughts out and and maybe talk some sense into the last three braincells some people have left.

These are my thoughts. My opinion. It’s totally fine if you disagree but if you feel strongly offended or called out by this, you might be part of the problem.

I’ve been watching the drama for a while now and normally I’m just someone who’s on the quiet side, grabbing a box of popcorn and watching how y’all tear each other to pieces but seriously? 

Some of you really need to get a life.

Fandom life isn’t always easy, fandom life can be messy, some people are not what they seem, yadda yadda.

But seriously, did you lose all the respect you had when you’ve signed up on this website or social media in general?

First: The Rudy “drama”

Someone, a really sweet and nice to everyone person, stated a theory based on an anon ask who based their ask on a social media website. A theory. A worst case scenario of what might have happened. They wanted to be nice and answer to every anon they’re getting but guys. 

Guys.

It was a theory. A mere idea of what might have happened because someone asked, nothing else. It was not facts, there was no evidence and the ask that caused all of this was not based on facts either. It can totally be fun to speculate about things. You’re allowed to believe what you want. Rudy’s a dick, Rudy’s a sweet angel, Rudy is a blue alien in disguise, everyone is allowed to have an opinion on something but oh my god.

Don’t make facts out of theories. 

Don’t look at three emotes and be like “oh my god they have to be dating!”

Don’t make a drama out of two actors not liking each other’s posts on Instagram like what the heck.

When did Social Media take over your life so much that you interpret everything in those little things? There’s a real life out there, ya know?

We don’t know anything for a fact so let it go. Wait until someone says something official which probably won’t happen.

More importantly, stay out of actors' private lives as much as you can. Seriously. You’re welcome to state your opinion about them, make theories, stuff like that but tbh, it’s better to stay out of it because at the end of your day, it’s none of our business. Celebrity stalking is not and never will be cool. Don’t waste your time and energy of trying to figure something out they clearly don’t want you to see. Best example for this are like, baby news.

I know it can be exciting to figure stuff out. I know you can be totally curious because you like that person and want to find things about their life but don’t blow it out of proportion.

Actors are humans. Actors are not their characters. They have their own private life and if they want to share, that’s cool. If not, then that’s also cool. And tbh, the OBX cast is feeding us a lot more way more than other actors from other shows/movies, god bless them.

But who the fuck do you think you are that you’re sending them, the actors or the people talking about it, hate based on a simple theory on a website that has a life on it’s own and things that happen on here should stay on here? That’s not cool, it’s a shame for other people in the fandom. Why would you want to make a person feel bad because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to feel this way either.

They’re grown ups, they can do what they want. You don’t have to like it but for the love of god:

Have some respect for a human being.

Second: The Chase Thing aka #chasestokespartyisover

That last sentence totally applies here too.

Have respect for a human being.

Boy made a tweet over ten years ago where he said something that was problematic. Was that cool? No. Did he apologize? Yes. Is it time to let it go? Totally. Was his hacking excuse true or not? WE DON’T KNOW.

You know what’s not cool tho? Some people taking their time to scroll down TEN YEARS AND MORE on a timeline to get some tea on them that you can use and complain about.

I know quarantine can get boring but jfc guys. There are more things to life than obsessing over an actor, ya know.

We all said shit in our youth, that’s a fact but people change. They grow. Don’t compare a teenage boy with a grown ass man.

You know what’s also totally 100% not acceptable? People photoshopping fake screenshots to show what a big mean white boi Chase is, trying to fuel the fire of hate. What the fuck is wrong in those minds?

Cancel Culture is a toxic phenomenon that should be the only thing getting canceled. You can’t cancel people, ya know. It’s fucking toxic to say something like that and just...don’t, man. I barely have any words left to describe this stupid thing.

Make love, not war. Spread love, not hate.

Fandom is not a place to rip each other to pieces. Not everything in this world is about race, sex/gender or problematic things. Just because someone doesn’t reblog a lot about Madison it’s mostly not because of racism or because she’s queer. Sure, that’s probably the case for some people but you know, those people aren’t worth it then.

Fandom is not a place that should spread hate around, especially not on anon, sending people asks filled with hate. There’s a bunch of younger kids on here, especially in the OBX fandom from what I’ve seen so far and it’s not okay to tell a 15 year old girl to tell her to go kill herself because she likes Rudy more than JD or shit like that. It’s never okay to something like that but it hits the younger ones even harder. Maybe it’s their first fandom and people ruin that experience on the spot, feeling powerful while on anon.

Fandom should be a place where we come together and have fun. Make friends and share things. Gifset, fanfics, theories about the new season, things like that. It should be a place to freak out over new teasers, new pictures from the set, the cast sharing stuff on their platform of choice and just things we enjoy.

There are different ways to block and blacklist on Tumblr, especially if you’re using it in a browser on your laptop/pc. Use that to block toxic people, tags you don’t wanna see and create your own little bubble where you’re happy in. Do this in case you feel uncomfortable with some people around here, so you only see what makes you happy.

Please remind yourself about the fact that behind all those blogs, there are real people. People who all have their own lives, own opinions, own ideas. Same goes for actors. They’re not there for your personal entertainment, they don’t have to share their complete private life with you. They’re human, just like you and me and it’s unacceptable to send them hate, no matter what they’ve done. You don’t have to like them but keep it to yourself or talk about it with friends, I don’t give a shit but leave it out of their sight.

Please remind yourself that we want to have a good time here and especially during times like these where we spend more time on here than we probably should *laughs*

If you made it to the end, thank you for your attention and taking your time and remember:

Be nice to each other, the world is cruel enough.

-Captain out.

[cloveroctobers]

CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —

IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕

24 (25) years

From Buckinghamshire, England

Comes from a wealthy family

her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services

Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so

Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name

Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?

Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal

The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions

Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much

Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)

Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana

Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press

Well-known in their city

They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names

Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better

He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years

Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson

Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married

She’s in office management

Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works

She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well

Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)

Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be

It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again

Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone

When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes

Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much

Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough

Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples

Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu

Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys

Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses

Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own

Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her

Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair

Approves of plastic surgery

Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them

Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip

loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy

Tans & loves tropical hot summers

Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter

Hates the rain, it messes with her mood

Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s

Fav color is pink

Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa

I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too

Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too

Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that

She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest

Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother

Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk

Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers

Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning

All her closest friends back home are a group of girls

Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings

Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up

Is dramatic when things don’t go her way

Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others

When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it

Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it

Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment

Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice

Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home

Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat

Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well

Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters

Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one

Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow

So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much

He reluctantly followed her back

Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!

Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—

Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways

Believes in feng shui

I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?

Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising

Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window

I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think

she has a girl & names her, “adore”

Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it

Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin

Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.

Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up

[apenapaperandadoofus]

What Disney character would the RFA members be?

Yessss! I actually love this so much, I adoreeee Disney 🥺 I’ll add V and Saeran too! Btw this is just my opinion!

Also I for some reason did way to much research on this? Like?? I dunno lmao I got super into it pfttt

And if you want to add some other characters and stuff, feel free to do so!

RFA+ V and Saeran as Disney characters:

Zen:

Ya boi it’s Flynn Rider! First of all, they’re both super flirty lmao, and it’s just, you cannot tell me that Zen isn’t Flynn like holy shit! They’re both ambitious, and when they care for someone they will do whatever they can to protect them. Both Flynn and Zen have sad pasts who make them who they are now, aaandddd! They also have different names! Just wanted to point that out lmao.

If he were to be another one I’d say Pirince Naveen, from Princess and the Frog. They’re both super playful, and want to have fun, and they also really care deeply for people close to them!

And to add another one: Aurora! Both of them are elegant and hopeless romantics!

Yoosung:

Our sweet child Yoosung is Anna from Frozen!

Both of them are sweethearts, and they really want to find someone they can spend the rest of their lives with! At the same time, even though they may be a bit naïve, they’re both pretty brave! I mean (spoiler for Yoosung’s Route) the poor boi literally got his eye hurt for MC, and no matter what he insisted on going to Mint Eye with Seven. Both of them also really care about family, and they’re super loyal to them and everyone around them.

Another thing, it’s that both Yoosung and Anna are super playful, and bubbly! So I honestly think Yoosung would just be Anna. Imagine him singing love is an open door tho, that’d be fucking adorableeeeee

Jaehee:

Tiana, from Princess and the Frog!

First of all, they’re both so similar with the work a little harder theme, like honestly that’s all they ever do! They’re both super workaholic, which may sometimes get in the way for spending time with family and friends. Both Tiana and Jaehee are super intelligent and strong women! And they’re always there to help their friends. Honestly Jaehee and Tiana are queens 👑

And they both are passionate with something to do with food! Jaehee with her coffee shop and Tiana with her restaurant, so I think they’re just super similar.

Jumin:

Alright listen! So when I was doing this I mostly do it on similarities on personality and such, and for Jumin both Belle and Jasmine seem the most similar

First of all, Jasmine! Both Jumin and Jasmine are in a role where they have to be the perfect heir. While Jasmine rebels against it in various ways, Jumin is more subtle about it. Whenever his father tries a new business idea because of a woman he met, Jumin firmly tells his father no. Even when Sarah Choi or whatever her name is (fuck herrrr lmao) is supposed to get married to him, Jumin yeets her and goes nope. They both care deeply about what they’re supposed to be ruling (?) over, Jumin with his company and Jasmine with her kingdom. And lastly, they both care deeply for their friends and family, and would do anything for them!

Now with Belle, Jumin loves reading. That’s a thing they have in common, and the both of them are super smart, and love learning about new things. Like Belle, he doesn’t have many friends, and is pretty confident, Iike our boy Jumin ;)

Saeyoung:

Peter Pan

But not the animated one, it’s the one we all had a crush on when it was like 2003, this Peter Pan:

It’s absolutely perfect. Both him and Peter are super playful, they like joking around and just you know, living the high life.

But at the same time they’re both scared of their feelings. At one point, when Peter Pan and Wendy are dancing (best scene ever btw) Wendy asks Peter about his feelings, and Peter yells that no, he doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings and that he has none. He tells her that in the end everything was pretend and he doesn’t want to grow up, or admit his feelings for Wendy.

It’s like when Saeyoung was pushing away the MC, so they wouldn’t catch feelings for him. He wants to ignore his emotions and he feels they are useless. Also the gif above it’s perfect for my sweet child it’s adorable lmao.

There’s also Aladdin, because they’re both playful but they can be serious at times!

V:

Now for our boy V! I choose Tarzan and Elsa! Now you may be wondering, Amanda, what the hell?

Well let me explain!

First of all Elsa! (Ignoring the whole Let It Go part of course lmao) Both Elsa and Jihyun have had super traumatic experiences. V with Rika, and Elsa with literally almost killing her sister. Due to that, they both isolate from their friends and loved ones, to protect them. Elsa to protect them from her power, and V does it to protect them from Rika and Mint Eye. They both only want the best for their loved ones, and they don’t care if they have to sacrifice themselves. Jihyun and Elsa are scared of hurting those around them, Jihyun doesn’t want anyone in the RFA to be involved with Rika, to get hurt. That’s why I think Elsa and V are just super similar. They both repress how much they’re suffering on the inside, and they are always the ones acting as a shield for the rest. (Also it’s part of perfect because Yoosung is Anna holy crap Frozen/Mystic Messenger au????)

Now for Tarzan, of course it’s not everything that’s similar, but one thing they have in common is that they care deeply for family, no matter what. Even when Tarzan is being shunned by gorilla dad (or Yoosung -oh damn-) because he says that he’s not part of the family, Tarzan still does whatever he can to protect them.

Saeran:

Now, since our boy is actually like 6 boys (Unknown, Ray, Suit, Saeran GE, Saeran SE, and Saran Judge and Forgive)

So I did the ones in another story and Saeran post SE!

Ray: So! Our boy Ray reminds me so much of Rapunzel from Tangled! Both Ray and Rapunzel are both being kept in a tower (Ray’s tower being Mint Eye.) They’re both smart and creative, and well, they’re loyal (except to Saeyoung lmao.) I feel like Ray is also pretty artistic (he made the cute little emojis for himself and everything, just adorableeeee.) I honestly totally forgot about a Disney character that doesn’t want to be abandoned (maybe Jessie?) because Ray is scared of other people leaving him.

Now Suit! He was my favorite to do :P

He is The Beast! First of all, they’re both hot headed and they’re mad all the time, but beneath all that, they’re both hurting and lonely. Honestly I need a freaking AU of Suit Saeran as the beast, they’re just so similar! Even though they may seem distant and grumpy, they care about the MC in the same way. When the beast saw that Belle was actually pretty sad and everything, he got her a room (I mean he did feel pretty sad you could see it in his little face :( ) and Saeran actually tries to postpone the MC’s Mint Eye ceremony because he actually cares a lot about them (awww)

And for GE Saeran: I just see him as Pocahontas. They’re both mature, kind and loving, but they still have a playful side to them. Also they both love nature, and they are pretty smart. Good Ending Saeran just reminds me so much of Pocahontas honestly, because Saeran can be serious when he needs to, but he is also pretty mischievous and playful (I love the call where he’s like “HA got you to say what I wanted lmao”)

And now, SE Saeran: He reminds me of Kristoff.

At the beginning of the film, Kristoff is actually pretty selfish, and is uninterested on Anna’s stuff lmao. He’s a loner, and pretty cold (you know that’s what ice does to you pft) but he actually cares deeply about his family and friends, and he does have an actual fun side to him! Saeran in the SE is a loner too, he mostly shuts himself off and doesn’t really like to socialize (me thoooo) but even though he acts distant and like he doesn’t give a fuck, Saeran actually does give a fuck. He secretly cares about MC, his brother and maybe even the RFA members, even if he doesn’t show it. He is also pretty cold, and fiesty.

Bonus:

Since Hamilton is on Disney+ now, technically they’re all Disney characters so here are the RFA members as Hamilton characters, like imagine if they were to do the musical this would be the roles they’d get (also I won’t elaborate on my choices pft) oh and for the MC’s here’s a little guide just in case lmao

MC 1: Brown hair, no eyes the one and only lmao

Mc 2: Blonde hair, (I feel like she’s a Karen but don’t tell her I said that)

MC 3: red curly hair, she’s actually pretty hot like wtffff

MC 4: short hair, she’s the one that would be done with everyone’s bs lmao

MC 5: the beautiful unicorn pony thing lmao

Now, Hamilton:

Hamilton: Zen

Aaron Burr: Jumin

John Laurens/ Phillip: Saeran

LAFAYETTE/Thomas Jefferson: Saeyoung, yes Saeyoung

HercULES MULLIGAN: I dunno, MC 5 probably pft

Angelica: Saeyoung once again (he FOUGHT for the role alright?)

Eliza: Yoosung

And Peggy: MC 1

George Washington: Jaehee (hell yeah)

Charles Lee (I’m a general WHEEE): Rika fuck her pft

James Maddison: MC 2

Mariah Reynolds: Saeyoung once again, it was supposed to be MC 3 but Saeyoung pulled some strings and became Mariah Reynolds at the last minute and when Zen finds out after the whole ‘Say No to This’ he is triggered and is about to kill him

James Reynolds: MC 4

And that’s all I remember for now lmao, hope you enjoyed it :D

[imaginesforallkindoflove]

Writing commission for @soulnottainted ! Thank you so much!!! I really hope you like it!! 💕💕

Sitting down with a sigh on the soft grass, the young woman closed her eyes, concentrating on the sounds of the vast nature that surrounded her. She had taken her drawing kit for the day, wanting to practice her art outside, rather than the warm and cosy inside of her home. It was sunny, and birds were chirping… For a moment it felt like a true lost paradise. Then, the tree besides her started to move slowly. The woman did not move, instead, she started sketching with a smile as the tree formed into a humanoid figure, made of woods, with a kind but stern face, red spitting fire as veins and blood and beautiful brown and amber eyes. It was taller than any house from the area, and looked very threatening to someone who didn’t know the creature. The woman didn’t fear him. How could she? 

“Good afternoon, Yew.” She softly greeted, not glancing at him. 

“Hello, young one.” He said, bowing his head a little. “What are you doing?”

“Drawing and painting, as usual.” 

“You are right to do so. Art gives the ability to humans to show what they don’t see clearly. Some are so fogged into their dark views, and seeing a painting may open their minds." The giant tree explained. 

Kelsey nodded as she listened, knowing how wise the being could be. She had grown up next to him, her parents telling her amazing stories about the tree that could take a human form, giving words of advice but also incredible tales for the people he chose. 

People would find him terrifying, as he was so tall and had a deep voice. Also, he was not something you could observe any normal day. After what her parents recalled of him, Kelsey realised how much time the man tree spent with her. He always was present, like a grandparent figure to her and gave her sweet advice on how to handle life. 

She cared a lot about him, and he was feeling the same way about her. 

"What are you doing out there, didn’t you have your… exams to do?" Yew asked in a hesitant voice, trying to not make the young woman anxious. 

"I finished them actually." She replied with a smile as she glanced at him. "I am drawing you." 

"Are you?" He questioned, surprised. "Can I see?" 

The young woman nodded and stood up with her artwork. She handed the piece of paper to small branches that grew out of Yew's body, and watched with amazement as the drawing made its way toward Yew's face. He was such a beautiful, tender, caring and intelligent being. 

"I believe it is well made!" He exclaimed lovingly as he dropped the drawing back to its artist. "You always had so much talent, little one." 

"Thank you! You pushed me to do the best, you know? I am glad you are here with me." She smiled again, rushing to hug him.

Well, hugs were something difficult to do with Yew. He could crush with so little efforts, but he always made sure to not hurt her during those sweet moments. He never had been close to anyone but her for a long time. Sometimes he had been lonely for years, without anyone to speak to!  

But they found a way luckily. Yew would grow smaller branches, looking like arms, and Kelsey would hug him, feeling warm and bubbly as the tree branches touched her skin. She truly considered him like a grandfather, and always was fascinated by his stories. She regretted that sometimes, she was too caught up in her work and busy with life in general, she would leave him alone for some days. But, the young woman always came back to him, apologizing about it, and Yew didn’t seem to mind. He understood perfectly, always wishing her the best in life. 

“Are you interested in a story, little one?” He asked. “One with a moral perhaps?” 

“Oh yes! You know how much I love your stories!” The young woman replied, her eyes shining with excitement as she sat down on the grass.

The creature lowered his head too, his body cracking in multiple places, but he showed no sign of being hurt or being bothered by this. He thought for a few moments, closing his eyes to choose his next tale. Kelsey watched him patiently, but bearing a soft smile on her face. She was very interested with what the giant will share with her.

“There once was a lion, a mighty one, the king of all in the land. He was fierce, strong, powerful and everyone respected and feared him. As he was sleeping, a mouse had accidentally woken him up. The king was absolutely furious about this, ready to assassinate the one who had bothered him in his sleep. However, the mouse implored for his life, telling the lion that killing him would solve none of his problems, and that the mouse would be a pity prey to kill. The lion agreed with this, and released the young mouse.” Yew started. “Later, as he was roaming around his kingdom, the lion king fell into a trap: a solid net that he could not escape from. Feeling the poachers would come soon for him, and seeing he could not free himself from the trap, the lion roared, in hopes someone would realise he was in danger or needed help. It was indeed a lucky day for him! The mouse he had spared earlier came to save him! The little animal ate the net, and helped the lion out. As they escaped the poachers together, the lion thanked the mouse, and promised him to never hunt down one of the mice.” The tree being finished. “So, tell me, little one, what do you think the moral of the story is?” 

“That poaching is bad?” 

Yew laughed at that. It was certainly true, hunting animals for their furs, or killing them for sport, or to have trophies were horrible and bad. He wondered how some humans could do that. 

"Non."

“Sparing someone is good because they can help you back?” Kelsey managed to reply, after thinking intensively. 

“Not quite, but you got the spirit. Actually, you can give a story like this multiple meanings. If the lion didn’t spare the mouse, he would have been murdered by the hunters. Every little act of kindness like that can lead to something greater. At least, that is how I appreciate that story.” 

“Also, small friends can be powerful allies!” The woman exclaimed. “So, Yew, am I your little mouse?” She chuckled.

“I believe you are, my little one.”

After that tale being told, Kelsey laid down next to the sitting giant, observing the sky. Finally, she was done with her mid terms. It was something that had bothered her, and she really hoped she did good! But with Yew, she felt her anxiety dying down. The tree giant emanated a kind and strange aura that always seemed to appease her, and anyone around. She didn’t know much of the giant’s story, only that he was there to help those that were, sort of, misguided by life. He would tell them tales, and ask for a story in return. He helped them realise something about their lives, and managed to turn whatever situation into a good one. 

He never spoke of those cases. It was perhaps the reason why he was created. He didn’t know who did, and never intended to find out. He had helped so much people in the past, and sometimes would disappear for a little more than a week. In Kelsey’s eyes, he was a hero to help those poor unfortunate souls. Yew would argue that he had to do what he had to do. It was not like it was his choice, he was called by those people.

“Yew?” 

The giant tree made a grunt in response, telling her he was awake and would listen to what she has to say. 

“Did you sometimes fail at… saving people?” She asked carefully, not wanting to scare him off with her question. 

He was silent for a moment, and the young woman feared she had hurt his feelings. She stayed quiet too, not wanting the situation to worsen. 

“I did, in fact, fail. Sometimes… Sometimes you can’t always change people, or heal them. Of course, I never really pushed them to do the wrong thing… But…” He sighed. “But I wish that some cases wouldn’t have finished in the way they did. It is hard to watch those little humans, those complicated beasts, struggling to understand, and failing to do so. I wish I could have done more for some men and women. I have to admit, sometimes, I do feel like a puppet, and I want to be freed from my chains, to help them more. I always come back anyway to my principles.” 

“I am sorry you feel that way, Yew.” The woman said, putting her soft hand on his wooden body. “You are nothing of a monster.” She chuckled, remembering how some would call her precious grandfather figure. 

“I do not care about how they speak of me. I do like that nickname tho. It makes me feel… powerful, and bigger.” 

The woman snorted at that. Her own father had known Yew since he was a young child, and would call him the Monster too, but in a more… loving way. When her father would tell her stories of how he used to sneak out to hear the giant tree’s tales, she only thought he had a huge imagination as a child, and here she was, befriending him and always seeking advice from him and his stories. She truly felt like Yew was her grandfather, and she believed he felt the same way about her. 

The first time she met Yew, she was about the same age as her father. She was playing around the old and tall tree, then fell asleep and woke up to a giant man holding her in his hand carefully. She did not scream, because she immediately felt connected to him, and since this day, she made sure to visit him often. 

“Can you tell me a story?” She asked Yew. “Can you… create a tale? Just for me?” 

“Just for you?” 

“Just for me.” The woman repeated. 

“Alright… Once upon a time, there was a young girl with a creative mind. Some people would have expected her to be lonely, fearing that the other children would cast her out. But no, she became very popular in her school, as she was unique. The other children weren’t, and they celebrated her uniqueness with her. There was one boy, however, who didn’t celebrate with the others. He was just a regular boy, quite a strange one if you asked the older women who gossipped between themselves as they watched the children. The young girl saw how alone the boy seemed to be, and tried to approach him many times. The boy pushed her away each time.”

“That is sad and unfair. Why would the boy do that? She is just trying to befriend him!” The young woman said.

“Patience little one. You have asked for a tale, and here it is. The boy was lonely, and seemed to hate the other girl. The latter told him if he wished to be with her, then she would welcome him with open arms. At one point, she stopped seeing him and the boy realised that being alone was not something he wished. When the girl stopped coming for him, stopped talking to him, he felt like a hole had been opened, and he needed her to cure him. So, at the end of the day, he joined the others to celebrate her uniqueness with everyone else. He confessed to the girl that he missed her, and revealed that no one had been making him feel this way, because she had revealed his own uniqueness. They celebrated their new friendship quickly after that meeting.” 

“It was a weak story... “ She chuckled. “But I like it. It was cute.” She yawned.

“Come child, you are tired. You have to rest.”

The young woman nodded, and slowly made her to the giant. He offered her his giant hand for bed as usual, and she laid down on it happily, knowing she was safe.

“Rest now, Kelsey.” Yew breathed out gently as he watched after her.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 61

~*~Sebastian~*~

It had been a long day of uncomfortable conversations, meetings, interviews, lunch with strangers, and an early dinner with friends. I'd left my room at nine and it was after eight when I slid the key card in the door.

The smell hit me fast. Roses. I flipped on the light to locate the source. Sitting on the glass dining table was a vase of red and black roses. That's a little scary. Then I noticed something with black polka dots and a bow.

"No way." They couldn't be. I pulled them free and they were. Disney mouse ears. I started laughing. There was only one person these could be from. The card said, "From one Disney lover to another. Sunt al tău, copil. Xoxo, Emma."

Emma has sent me roses signed “I'm yours, baby.” Had I not already moved my Wednesday dinner to Sunday I would have been on my phone making up shit to get out of Canada a day earlier. On the back of the card was an explanation. Red roses for romance and desire. Black for new beginnings and change. I was thinking love and hate, but this better.

I put them on and sat at the table in front of my laptop. I was about to hang up and text her when she picked up, "I'm here. I’m here. I was in the bathroom changing." Her fingers touched the screen, "You like your ears?"

"I love my ears. And my flowers. It smells great in here. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I hope you got the sarcasm. We don’t love Disney, but are Disney lovers."

"I did." It kills me that she's turned an NDA into a joke between us. Mice can't tell time and roses with ears. Emma is simply the best. She was also slowly sliding sideways.

"Are you drunk?" I turned my head to the side following her tilt.

She rubbed her hand under her nose with her eyes closed. "A little drunk. My nose itches." She repeated the action.

"Did you have a fun spa day?" I held up my hand with crossed fingers.

"I did!" She listed a little more to the side and I smiled. "There was a lot of seaweed."

"Seaweed?"

"A lot of seaweed. It started with a salt scrub, which felt really good. Then I was wrapped in seaweed and left to marinade for a while."

"Marinade." I curled my lips in trying not to laugh. This was a different drunk. She was silly.

"Next was their signature "four-hand" massage. Two people."

"That sounds fun."

"You'd think, but it was weird and creepy. I felt like I was being prepared as a virgin sacrifice to a lesser known god or maybe a volcano."

"Except you're not a virgin."

She frowned and huffed out a disgusted breath, "You don't know that."

I laughed, "Yes, I kinda do."

"Fine. I was very uncomfortable and sent one away after maybe two minutes. The massage therapist said it happens and was important for me to be comfy. It was a very good massage. She left and an aesthetician came in for my..."

She paused and I filled in, "Seaweed facial?"

She touched her nose and pointed to the camera several times. So cute. "We had a very yummy spa lunch. I had an avocado and chicken salad sandwich with these super crunchy fresh potato chips. And champagne."

"I wondered when the drinking was coming."

"Lunch when the three of us were brought back together. See, I'd had such a lovely morning and they threatened my happy and now relaxed mood. I thought bubbles would keep away the negative juju."

"Juju." I kept repeating these strange words.

"We went into this room with pedicure chairs all wrapped in white fluffy robes. The whole thing repeated itself on my hands and feet. Salt scrub, hand and foot massage, seaweed wrap, and marinade."

"I bet there was more champagne too."

"There was! We had to choose mani-pedi colors. My colors are blush and bashful. I have chosen two shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other.”

The champagne had brought out her accent even more and she fired up the Steel Magnolias’ quote. "Are your toes pink?"

"They are. I'll show you." She pulled her foot up in front of her phone instead of, you know, moving her phone to her foot. I got a brief glimpse of her toes before she fell over and slid onto the floor. "Ow."

"You ok, sweetie?"

She sat up and leaned against the side of the bed, "I am fine. We got dressed and did some shopping. Then called dad to take Katie out so we could continue day drinking by the pool. It turned into evening drinking. Ironically, I will be spending the morning at a shelter with one of my rehab therapists with a champagne hangover."

"You can do a Ted Talk on making positive choices prior to conducting volunteer services."

"You're a funny boy. Funny, funny boy." She did the weirdly cute nose scratching thing again. "I know better than to drink this much champagne. It makes my nose itch. And it's a strange bubbly sort of drunk." She pointed a finger at me, "Let me tell you something, baby boy, my mom and twin juiced up on champagne kept the day smooth. We talked skincare while lying in the sun. The irony of which is not lost on me. Oh god! There it is. When champagne is exposed to sunlight it becomes sewage." She moved very close to the screen, "Your eyes are pretty. The blue changes with your mood and they're so expressive. I want...”

Emma stopped talking and just smiled.

"What do you want, baby?" This was either going to be very sweet or very dirty. I was up for either.

Emma moved back from the screen a little. She laid her head to the side with the slightest smile, "I want to lay in your arms and look in your eyes for hours, just to see what they say."

"I think that can be arranged."

She nodded then yawned, "I'm sleepy. Will you read to me again?"

"Absolutely." I made it through a paragraph before she was asleep.

I flipped my phone over and over in my hand, trying to decide if I should call. That I couldn't decide was the decision.

Celie picked up on the third ring, "Hi Sebastian."

"Hey Celie, I hope it’s not too late."

"Not at all. It's not even nine. What's going on?"

"I just spent twenty minutes reading Winnie the Pooh to my drunk girlfriend who's a thousand miles away with her dysfunctional family. She fell asleep in less than one."

"Why'd you keep reading?"

Even though she couldn't see, I shrugged, "I wanted to." I knew she wouldn't accept that answer. "I didn't want to break the connection."

"Because you felt connected or because you felt insecure?"

"Connected."

"Good for you, Sebastian."

"Yeah." I nodded. It was good. "This morning I was insecure. I had to ask Emma to sign an NDA."

"NDA's aren't new for you."

"It's usually her people and my people working it out and I sign by the sticky arrow. I had to be involved in this one and it was gross. Made it more personal." I huffed out a breath. "Probably should have been before. I know it should. Emma and I had already talked about it and she said she didn't have a problem signing paperwork for something she'd never do anyway. But when it came down to asking her to sign it, I was terrified. What it said about her. What it said about me. What it said about us. I didn't want to hurt her or have her feel like I didn't trust her. I do trust her. All the things I’ve learned, the things I'm doing, we're doing, I was terrified they'd be ruined by this stupid NDA. I told her all that and by the time we hung up I felt more connected and secure. I think facing it and talking about it made me feel closer."

"That's what real intimacy does. You can't have real intimacy without having difficult conversations and talking about emotions. Being vulnerable. Not shutting down. Not using sex to create a hormonal and false intimacy. Risking letting your partner see you. Being emotionally available."

"Yeah." That's what I thought.

"What was Emma's response."

"She told me she wasn't going anywhere and mice can't tell time."

Celie laughed, "Mice can't tell time?"

"Disney is the only studio on the NDA. They sent it half-hour early. I went from scared to furious in a heartbeat. They sent it early because Micky Mouse, mice, can't tell time. Later she sent me roses that came with those mouse ears on a headband."

"I like her."

"Me too. I don't want to fall back into old habits. I like this. All of it. How do I keep this?"

"Keep doing the hard stuff. Having the conversations you want to avoid. You're taking risks and getting the emotional payoff. You build on that. When you hit a bump, and you will, you go back and try again." She paused, "Sebastian, you are doing things differently. When you question, check yourself, because you know what you’ve done in the past. I encourage you to take the risk to do it differently. Use your resources. You are not alone. I am here to help. You have good friends who will tell you the truth. And most importantly, you have Emma."

I laughed, "Wow, you're good."

"You don't always make it easy, but right now you are." She laughed too. "It's nice to see your hard work coming together."

"Thank you."

"You could also Google “How to know if your boyfriend is emotionally unavailable" and do the opposite."

"You know I’m going to fall down a rabbit hole now."

"In your different mindset, you may make some connections you haven’t previously. Have a good night, Sebastian."

"You too, Celie."

I thought I was in for a sleepless night with the internet. I was wrong. I made it through three articles before I shut my laptop down. The first two started with a simplified explanation of why someone is emotionally unavailable. I was already familiar with the long version. Both had lists. Roughly the same lists. Lack of serious relationships, not making an effort, and not wanting to have real conversations has never been me. I want and do them all. Difficult to reach and defensive sounds familiar. Then there were the very familiar ones. Inconsistent affection. It’s about what and when it’s acceptable; not as simple as public and private. Sometimes it wasn’t ok in private either. Misunderstanding and being dismissive. The number of times I've said “that's ridiculous" is embarrassing. Usually, it wasn't. Inability to stay present during conflict or emotionally laden conversations. "That's ridiculous" also puts a stop to those. Wanting control of the relationship. Yep, who can know what. Thinking emotions are weak. Not weak as much as dangerous. Pulling away. Everything else was just another way of pulling away.

Two lists more than covered what I know I'm guilty of. However, the familiar things are things I did and said to myself much more than to anyone else. Except the pulling away. If you tell yourself your feelings are ridiculous, put limits on what’s acceptable, and check out of emotional conversations pulling away is what happens. All those create distance even if it’s you doing it to yourself.

It took a while to find the third one. I was looking for something hopeful. If it wasn't a list of traits it was tips to make him fall for you. Emma has managed to do that quite well without the manipulation on those lists. A few pages into my Google search I found how to tell he's changed. Some were things I'd learned already. The new things with Emma: lets you in on his past; wants to change; your opinion matters; protective; and his words match his actions.

I could do these things, what sticks out, is I'm not constantly running myself down for my feelings and when I give voice to things that lead up to those feelings she doesn’t either. Emma meets me where I am and shows me a way out. A way through.

I am almost there and what I struggle with she helps me. I think that's why we have relationships. We need other people. I'm never going to be perfect and will need support. When I think of my friends, they're not perfect. I'm there for them when they need me. The last couple of days I've been there for Emma. She didn't handle it all on her own. She called me and let me be there. Let me listen and emotionally support her.

I looked at the roses she'd sent me. The ridiculous polka dot mouse ears that match her bikini, except my ears have a red bow her bikini doesn’t. I climbed out of bed, put on a shirt, and took a picture. Me in ears with a wry smile and a caption saying, "Disney lovers." went up on Instagram.