#would’ve gone to the zoo but it’s still a little too cold for him to be out and about for a whole day

[kowtownart]

Mmmmmmm it’s my birthday!

I’m a quarter of a century old…. Bonkers

[farfromharry]

Mini Valentine | Stepdad!Tom fic

Summary: Your valentine’s plans with your fiancé get slightly set back when you get called in to work, leaving Tom to spend the day with your daughter.

Word count - 4,017

Warnings - One brief mention of throwing up, i think that’s it?

Unfortunately for you and Tom, you’d been called into work on the morning of the 14th, based on ‘emergency’. It was all very last minute and caused a lot of stress for your fiancé, even if he tried to promise you that it wasn’t a big deal and he could sort something, but anyone would be stressed while finding out their plans for the day had been spontaneously ruined that same morning without warning.

You originally had plans to go on a family trip to the zoo during the day, wanting to show Scarlett all the adorable animals that she’s never had the pleasure of seeing in person. Then you were meant to be heading to a romantic dinner with Tom at the same fancy restaurant he took you to, to propose. All while his mum watched Scarlett for you so you both got some well deserved time together.

“I’ll just shift the reservation, it’s okay,” he promised you, kissing your shoulder as you tied back your hair to keep it out of your face.

“You’re an angel,” you whispered, making sure to press a lasting kiss to his lips. You could tell he was exhausted, and you didn’t blame him, it was barely even four in the morning and you were already up and ready to leave the house.

You couldn’t leave without making a hundred percent sure he was okay with you heading in, moving over to where he’d tucked himself under the covers again, trying to shield his bare upper half from the cold morning air.

He’d planned on getting some more sleep before your munchkin woke up and decided she needed her stepdad to feed her instantly, something she did often.

“I still feel bad, ‘m sorry.” He shook his head, cupping your cheek with his large hand.

“You have nothing to worry about,” he chuckled, finding some amusement in the idea of you feeling so guilty about something you couldn’t control, especially when the issue was so easily resolved.

You rested your head on his bare chest for a few seconds, just until you really had to leave so you wouldn’t be late.

“I’ll take Scarlett out somewhere, still got to win her over.” You rolled your eyes at his words, pecking his lips one more time before standing up.

“You know she loves you already,” you mumbled, referring to all the moments the two had shared over the few years you and Tom had been together.

“No, she loves my cooking.”

You scrunched up your nose, feigning disgust. “I don’t know why.” Tom scoffed, his heart fluttering when you let out that silly giggle that he adored.

“Y/N?” he called. You hummed. “Happy valentine’s day.”

You placed one more kiss on his lips, taking your time to study his face as you pulled away. “Happy valentine’s day Tom.” You waved goodbye without letting him say anything else, not wanting anymore distractions that could risk making you late, closing your bedroom door behind you.

“Mummy?” You turned your head at the sound of your angel’s sleepy voice, seeing her standing in her bedroom door. She looked like the cutest little thing, hair all messed up from the way she’d slept, in her Disney pyjamas, rubbing her tired eyes with her first while her teddy bear was squeezed as close as possible to her chest.

“What’s wrong bub? You should be asleep.” She waddled over to you, wrapping her arms tightly around your legs. Your fingers threaded in her hair, trying to tame the flyaway strands, tucking them back into her scrunchie loosely.

“I heard you awake,” she mumbled, almost falling asleep in the position she was in. You pouted, leaning down to kiss her head.

“Mummy has to go to work,” you said, seeing the frown forming on her face. “I’ll be back later, but that means we can’t go to the zoo.”

If she had the energy she probably would’ve thrown a tantrum right then and there, but taking into account the utter exhaustion consuming her tiny body, meant she didn’t have the effort to argue. All she could do was flash you her typical pout and puppy dog eyes, but even those weren’t enough to win you over this time.

“Why don’t you go get in with Tom for a bit, get some cuddles?” You were always trying to encourage her to do more with Tom, praying that she would get along with him well enough to accept him. She did at least like his cooking, so that was a start.

She hummed, placing a sloppy toddler kiss on your cheek before shuffling down the hall to your room. You chuckled to yourself, grabbing your keys, jacket and any other necessity, leaving your daughter and fiancé to spend the day together.

Tom couldn’t fall asleep until he knew you were on your way, his subconscious telling him that he couldn’t let you be late by getting distracted with something in the house.

That meant that Tom felt the tiny body that was crawling onto the large bed, climbing under the covers on your empty side.

“Hi,” she whispered, laying her head on your pillow. The man laughed silently, noting how much she was like you with her mannerisms. He asked if she was okay, checking she wasn’t in here because of a nightmare.

“Mummy said I could come get cuddles.” The girl often liked Tom more when she didn’t have the energy to be mean, so at times like this she was often very affectionate towards him.

“Of course, c’mere.” She shuffled closer to him, curling her body into his chest while her head rested on his shoulder. Tom pressed a light kiss to her temple, soothingly rubbing her back until her breathing evened out and he was sure she was asleep.

He wasn’t too far behind her, letting his own wave of exhaustion crash over him until he was back into the deep slumber he’d been in before it was interrupted by your phone ringing.

»»——⍟——««

Tom and Scarlett ended up getting out of bed around 10. He’d sent the girl to the bathroom to do her business and brush her teeth while he made her breakfast, going over some ideas of what they could do for the day in his head.

“How do you feel about going to the aquarium today?” he asked, slipping a pancake onto her plate, letting her decorate it however she wanted. Her eyes widened and she rapidly nodded her head. Tom chuckled, preparing some breakfast for himself, taking a seat next to the girl at the kitchen island.

“Can we see the penguins?” she asked, filling the silence with the innocent question. She let out a squeal when Tom nodded, thanking him with the same amount of energy.

She finished her breakfast quickly, bouncing in her seat as she waited for Tom to tell her she could leave. “Go get dressed, we’ll go in a little while.” She didn’t have to be told twice, jumping down from the seat to run to her room.

Tom left to get dressed a few minutes after her, changing into some jeans, a plain white hoodie and a coat on top.

He waited by the front door for more than a few minutes, confused about what was taking the little girl so long.

Tom didn’t want to impose, he knew she was capable of getting ready herself, but he also didn’t know if something else had possibly gone wrong.

He headed to her room, knocking on the door before pushing it open. “Hey bug, what’s taking so long, you okay?” He could see the tears on her cheeks as she sat in front of the mirror, a hairbrush and a hair tie to her right. “What are the tears for?” He asked softly, bending down beside her to wipe them away.

“I can’t do my hair.” She sniffled, looking up at the man with those big eyes that looked exactly like yours. He was such a sucker for those eyes. “Do you want me to try?”

She nodded, handing him the stuff he needed. He brushed through the strands of her hair as carefully as he could, making sure to avoid brushing any tangles harshly, and apologising if he caught any anyway.

“Ponytail?” he asked. She nodded in confirmation. Tom wasn’t exactly a pro when it came to hair, he’d grown up with 3 brothers, so he didn’t really have anything to do with long hair until he spent those nights when you were drunk. He would always carelessly throw your hair into a bun or ponytail to keep it out of your face when you threw up, receiving a mumbled thank you from yourself.

You’d helped him learn the basics a while ago, teaching him how to do a simple braid and how to do a quick ponytail, but that was all he knew. He was never sure if his versions of the hairstyles would be up to Scarlett’s standards.

He pulled all the strands in, making sure there were no loose ones before wrapping the hair tie around them all, keeping them in place at the back of her head.

“Is that okay?” he asked. She nodded, standing up from her spot. Tom raked his eyes over her outfit, making sure socks were matching and everything was on right before guiding her to the entrance of the house.

She took a seat next to him on the stairs, swinging her legs while she waited for him to pass her, her shoes. She easily slipped them onto her feet, right then left, just like you always did when you were here.

“You think you can tie them yourself?” he asked. She nodded her head, grabbing a hold of the two pieces of white string on her left shoe.

“I’m a big girl,” she argued. Tom raised his hands in defense, muttering an okay.

Her big girl mindset didn’t last for long when she realised she in fact didn’t know how to tie her shoes. Tom tried to hide his smile, knowing this was going to happen.

“Tom?” She asked. He hummed, looking up from where he’d been putting on his shoes. She pointed down to the little converse that were on her feet, the laces messy and undone. “Can you do them, please?”

He tried his best to show her how to do it, but the girl got easily distracted, rambling on about all the different fishies she was going to see. He couldn’t be annoyed, finding it completely adorable how she babbled on.

“Alright, up?” He didn’t want to pick her up if she’d rather walk, not wanting to risk the girl throwing a tantrum so early on in the day. However, to Tom’s surprise, she agreed. She stood on her tiptoes, reaching her hands up to the sky, a signal that she wanted to be lifted up.

Tom scooped her up into his arms, resting her on his hip while he collected everything he needed to head out for the day.

Scarlett busied herself in playing with the chain around Tom’s neck, finding it intriguing for some unexplained reason.

He carried her out to his car, having to follow her instructions on how to get her into the car seat, it seemed to be a struggle for Tom everytime.

Once he was sure she was safely in her seat, Tom climbed into the driver’s seat, sending you a quick text to tell you they were heading out.

At one point during the short drive, Tom glanced through his mirror to see Scarlett quietly singing along to the radio, which he turned up so she could hear better, kicking her legs in her carseat happily.

The aquarium wasn’t too far away, and before Tom knew it they were inside and ready to look around. Scarlett complained about how it felt like it’d taken forever, clutching Tom’s hand with her tiny one as she dragged him towards what she thought looked most interesting.

“Look at that one!” she gasped, pointing to the vibrant coloured fish. Tom nodded, grinning down at the pure happiness on the little girl's face. The sudden vibration in his pocket made Tom jump. He pulled out his phone to see your contact lighting up his screen. He took a few steps back from her, so she was still in his eyeline but her loud squeals weren’t heard in his ear everytime she spotted a pretty fish.

“Hello?”

A smile creeped onto your face just at the sound of his voice, it was all you needed to hear to convince you you could make it till the end of your shift.

“Hi.”

“How are things?” You let out a sigh, glancing around the ward with a bored look.

“It’s okay, I guess, nothing much happened after this morning,” you explained. “How’s it going with Scarlett?” Tom smiled to himself, watching as the girl stared in awe at all the vibrantly coloured fish swimming in the tank.

“I didn’t take her to the zoo because I know you wanted to go, so I brought her to the aquarium you’ve been to before.” Your heart soared. The fact that Tom both listened to your stories about your daughter and respected the things you wanted to do with her were just more things to add to your ‘why Tom is the perfect man’ list.

“Are you having fun?” There was an underlying hint of sadness in your voice that Tom quickly picked up on.

“Yeah, but it’d be even more fun if you were here.” You could hear him quietly talking to Scarlett in the background, something about spotting a certain coloured fish. The girl responded with a squeal of excitement when she found out, gushing about how pretty it looked.

“She sounds happy,” you commented, pulling Tom’s attention away from the girl again.

“I think she is, this is the warmest she’s been with me.”

You bit your lip to try and hold back your smile. You’d both been waiting for the moment she’d decide she was ready to accept Tom as her dad, and it’s been a long journey to get to that point.

“Well, I should go, but i’m glad you’re having fun.”

Scarlett ran over to Tom, clutching his legs and asking who was on the phone. When he responded with a simple ‘mummy’ she decided she needed to talk to you right that second.

She ended up occupying you on the phone for much longer than you’d intended, finding it impossible to get away from the girl while she was ranting about all the different animals and fish they’d seen.

“I don’t want to keep you then, tell Tom to have fun too okay?” She mumbled a quiet okay. Tom was watching her with an amused grin, finding it adorable how large his phone looked pressed against her head. You said your I love you’s before hanging up to continue wallowing in your own self pity.

»»——⍟——««

The picture Tom sent you around 1 was the thing that kept you going, but was simultaneously the thing that almost made you cry in the middle of the hospital.

The two were sitting in the restaurant at the aquarium, the girl cuddling some kind of fluffy penguin teddy that you were sure Tom insisted he buy for her, while grinning at the camera.

He followed it up with a little message afterwards that basically confirmed your suspicions.

‘She loved the penguins and I couldn’t resist, this is Oswald x’

You giggled at the name, an obvious reference to the time Harrison came over and let her watch Batman. You ended up setting the picture as your lock screen, clicking your lock button to see your baby’s face light up your phone screen.

Your eyes drifted up to the clock on your phone, seeing you had at least another 2 hours left of work.

You wish you could say those last couple hours flew by, but it felt like they were never going to end. You spent most of the time being handed more and more tasks to do that you were scared you wouldn’t finish before the time you could go home.

Thankfully you did, wanting to practically scream with relief once you climbed into your car. You felt like you had more energy now that at any point during your day, which was very confusing considering the long almost 10 hour shift you had.

You heard the excited yells of your daughter the second you walked through the door of your home. She’d quite clearly seen your car pull up outside and just couldn’t wait to greet you.

“There she is.” You were almost tackled into a hug by the four year old, the girl beaming at you. Tom helped you slip your jacket off once Scarlett decided to let go of you.

“So, how was it?” She was more than happy to tell you again every single thing her and Tom did, going as far as describing almost each and every one of the fishies in detail.

Tom joined in at random parts with bits of information that seemed to slip past her excited mind. He watched you both with a smile, silently laughing at you when you realised you’d probably be here for days if you didn’t stop her.

“That sounds like so much fun, but you need to go and get ready for when Nikki comes.”

She still hadn’t taken up calling Tom’s mother Grandma yet, but you reassured her that it’d come with time, exactly the same as your reassurances to Tom.

She ran away to her room to do as you said, leaving you and Tom a moment alone before you got ready for your date.

Tom’s hands made a beeline for your waist once she was out of sight, bringing you in close to him until you were pressed up against his chest.

“Hello handsome.” A faint blush creeped onto Tom’s cheeks, the man trying to hide it by burying his face in your neck. He placed soft kisses all over the skin there, earning him a pleased sigh from you.

Your hands trailed up the expanse of his muscly back, eventually residing in his mess of hair. Gentle tugs on the short curls were what brought his attention away from your neck.

He smiled at you, resting his forehead on yours. Your noses occasionally clashed from the close proximity, but neither of you cared enough to pull away. He was the one to close the gap between you, slotting your lips together in a slow kiss. It wasn’t hungry or needy in any way, more so screaming that you’d missed each other.

“We should get ready,” you mumbled onto his lips, unwilling to pull away just yet.

He hummed. “We really should.”

Neither of you made an attempt to move. This time it was you who couldn’t stand not kissing him, placing such a soft peck on his lips that he was sure it almost didn’t happen.

“I love you.” You grinned, rubbing your thumb over his unruly eyebrow, eyes flickered over the tiny features of his face. He took the time to study your eyes while you did so, noticing the little flecks of different colours that didn’t match your overall eye colour.

You finally looked into his eyes, those golden, honey orbs that just made you melt inside everytime they stared at you with just so much adoration.

“I love you too.”

He let you go and get ready after that, pouting adorably as he watched you strut your way to your bedroom. You picked out your outfit before hand, pulling the hanger with the gorgeous silver dress out of your wardrobe, laying it on the bed.

You knew Tom would probably sneak a look at it, but seeing it on a hanger wouldn’t even compare to seeing it on your body.

You took a lot longer getting ready than you expected to, purely due to the long, hot shower you took that felt like a necessity after your work day, and also the fact you hadn’t truly gotten yourself dolled up for something in a while, something that you greatly missed.

Tom was there as soon as you were finished to make you feel even better about yourself, throwing compliments at you left and right that left you a flustered mess of butterflies.

At some point Scarlett had creeped into your room, looking at your pretty dress in awe.

“Doesn’t your mummy look pretty?” She nodded her head rapidly, complimenting you profusely. Your fiancé knew you were getting flustered, trying to cover your face to hide from your own embarrassment. He placed a quick kiss on your head, his hand slipping down to the small of your back to guide you to the front door.

You gave Scarlett a tight hug, telling her to behave, while Tom placed a kiss on her head.

“Thank you again,” you gushed, making sure to give Tom’s mum an extra tight hug before you left. She always told you that she loved taking care of Scarlett, even if she wasn’t her biological granddaughter.

Tom led you out of the house with a lovesick grin plastered on his face, making you rather suspicious about what he was up to.

“What are you so smiley about?” you asked. He simply shrugged, placing a kiss on your knuckles as he told you absolutely nothing.

“Just happy to finally have to myself.”

»»——⍟——««

The small body of the girl barreled towards you as soon as you stepped through the front door. She surprisingly almost knocked your balance, forcing a giggle out of your slightly tipsy self.

You were able to scoop her up, holding her on your hip.

“I know, we’re home,” you whispered, cradling her to your chest. She tucked her head into your neck, trying to not let sleep consume her so she had more time to spend with her favourite person.

While you were snuggling your baby, Tom was once again thanking his mother, telling her a little about the lovely night you had at the restaurant.

Nikki could see in his eyes as he watched you, just how much adoration he felt for both of you. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her son look like that.

“Missed you,” she mumbled, muffled by the way her mouth was resting on you. You responded with a simple kiss, noting how her eyes were so desperately trying to flutter shut.

You couldn’t blame her, you had accidentally woken her up at a ridiculous time in the morning and she was still only a toddler who often took multiple naps throughout the day.

“Let’s get you to bed.” She whined in your ear out of protest, shaking her head in your neck. Her head raised, looking around the room until her eyes landed on Tom.

She twisted in your arms so you were only holding her by her stomach. Scarlett made grabby hands at Tom, a sleepy pout on her lips when he didn’t instantly come over.

“Can daddy put me to bed?” she asked, so innocently.

Tom froze, his heart growing in size as he stared at her. You and Nikki shared a look, one that told the other you were happy you could experience this moment.

He didn’t exactly know what to do, becoming a bit of a stuttering mess. He’d been waiting at least over a year since you’d gotten engaged for her to say that one word, a sort of confirmation that she was happy he was there.

You could see the tears lining his waterline as his mind replayed the 6 words she just uttered. It seemed to take him a few seconds to come back down to earth, nodding his head. You helped transfer Scarlett from your arms to his much stronger ones, the male making it look like lifting a feather. Scarlett shifted slightly, sighing as she got comfortable in his hold.

“Yeah, of course, daddy can put you to bed.”

»»——⍟——««

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[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield, Rosie Holland x Linus Perry

-Warnings: References to sex, language, typos, sad thoughts, attempted suicide, vomiting

-Words: 4.4K

A/n: Thank you so mucg guys with all the live support. Finally done, yay, with part 1

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Words: 4.4K

Four years had passed and Rosie was the only one to stick around. Everything had changed. You and Tom were currently on your trip around the world. Traveling everywhere from Cuba to Greece. Taking in sights of the world.

Embarking on journey covering 3 continents and 10 countries so far. You had already visited the Taj Mahal in India, the Amalfi Coast for some sun, and Iceland just for the blue lagoon hot springs. You and Tom were having the time of your lives, it being the perfect distraction from everything back home.

Rosie was running the mob along with her new right hand and consigliere, Linus. Rosie had been taking on the mantle as the new leader of the Holland mob. Picking up where Parker left off. Trying to do him justice. Tom had helped her learn the ropes but she always had that fiery personality desired for a mob persona.

After four years, Rosie learned to embrace her grief instead of shoving it away, she began to visit Parker’s grave more and more. Tried to every week, but life got in the way. She would bring a new set of flowers to freshen up the old ones.

She knew today would be especially hard, every year it was impossible. Rosie could barely get through the day. Today was her 20th birthday, marking 4 years of celebrating without Parker.

Rosie and Henry’s relationship had grown into one full of misery. Trapped in a loveless relationship, but he was still her best friend. With just one look he would know what she was thinking.

Over the past couple years, Henry has been so obsessed with keeping her safe that it was driving her mad. Rosie understood that Henry didn’t want to lose her like he lost Parker, but Rosie ran a mob and danger followed her everywhere. They started drifting apart when everything happened with the Holland family, creating unfixable cracks in their foundation.

Lately, Rosie had been feeling someone watching her every move. Following her whenever she would be downtown. Feeling a presence she hasn’t felt in a while. Constantly shivering in fear, feeling as though she was observed. From then on, every move she made was calculated and thought out.

When Rosie first took on the mantle, she cleaned house. Eliminating those whose loyalty would always lie with Tom. Trying to affirm the fact that she was so much more than just Tom’s daughter. She had let William go and few others because she brought in Linus.

Even after starting her new regime, things have been a bit off, lately. She hasn’t been sleeping through the night. She’d jolt out of sleep, drenched in a cold sweat. Henry would be startled awake as well by her movement as move to comfort her.

“Roo, you okay?” Henry asked groggily, yawning a bit. Rosie gasping to catch her breath. Her dreams were supposed to be an escape but now they were doing more harm than good. “I don’t know. I keep having these dreams about Parker. Like he was trying to tell me something,” Rosie said, gathering her bearings. It wasn’t everyday she was visited by her deceased twin brother. “From beyond the grave?…Rosie, he’s gone,” Henry pondered. “I know, I just can’t shake this feeling. That he is… he’s.”

“What? Still alive? Honey, we buried him. You cried over him. If he was still alive don’t you think we would’ve shown his face by now. Wilson and Carter are gone, they have been for awhile now,” Henry explained, hoping it would bring her some solace. Henry wasn’t blind to the change in her demeanor, she did open up to him about being followed everywhere she went. “I guess you’re right. But my dreams feel so real,” Rosie whispered, lying back down. Ready to drift off into a deep sleep. One not tainted by the memory of Parker. “Go, back to sleep baby.” Henry said, he knew they would be getting up in a few hours anyway. Tomorrow was a very big day. Henry knew he and Rosie had been drifting but he was all set to give her the best birthday ever.

Henry had bought tickets for you and Tom to fly in for her birthday and stay for awhile. This time of year was hard for all of you but it wasn’t fair to Rosie. The day that is supposed to be about her has always been shared but now no one dared acknowledge it. It was just a reminder of what had been lost.

“Good morning, beautiful. Happy birthday,” Henry whispered, peppering her face in kisses as the morning sun shone through the curtains.

“Thank you,” Rosie sighed. Every year was a challenge. It got a little better every year but she knew she would never fully accept his absence.

“What do you have planned today?” Henry inquired, he was always one for big gestures. He absolutely hated that she no longer enjoyed her birthday.

As a kid she loved the idea of turning a year older, getting to grow up and getting loads of presents of course. You always made the priority of throwing the most perfect themed parties for Rosie and Parker. One year they had a pirate themed pool party with a treasure hunt and another a circus/carnival theme with fair games and a petting zoo. You loved going all out for their birthday. Just spoiling them in general.

Rosie and Parker, also Tom, can’t forget about him, made life worth living. You and Tom did everything for your kids, never wanting them to feel an ounce of sadness.

But the times had changed, you were no longer the mother to a son. It was just Rosie and you thanked God everyday that she was still there but your heart will forever be scarred.

Scars take forever to heal, sometimes never. There will never be a day when you don’t miss Parker or he doesn’t cross your mind. Everything you did from the moment he died was for him, in one way or another. You knew the grief would never stop but you hoped Rosie would one day be able to move on with life.

“You know…” Rosie murmured. “Oh yeah, say hi for me,” Henry nodded along remembering Rosie was going to spend the day next to her better half, Parker.

Rosie proceeded to get dressed and ready for the day. She wore a tight grey dress showing off the perfect curves of her body. And a pair of black high heels to complete her power woman ensemble. “Henry, you aren’t throwing me a party right? I really don’t want one,” Rosie inquired. Rosie would prefer to have all birthdays pass and wash away but she knew Henry wouldn’t allow that. At the most she would have a nice dinner with him and watch a movie.

“You’ll just wait to find out,” Henry grinned cheekily. In reality he was throwing her surprise party to help her find the joy in her birthday again.

“Henry seriously, not this year,” Rosie announced. “It’s never any year. You haven’t celebrated in 3 years. You need to get over this.”

“Get over what? The death of my twin brother?” Rosie asked, astounded at Henry’s previous statement. The nerve he had, wow.

“Roo, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to apologize but Rosie left in a huff.

“Talk later, Linus is waiting for me,” Rosie yelled, already walking out of the room. “Linus, you ready to go?” Rosie said, as she found him drinking coffee in her kitchen. He sat at the bar, legs dangling off the chair as she came down. “Yes, Roo,” he said, a little out of breath from taking the awe of her beauty.

“Please don’t call me that around Henry… What’s on the agenda?” Rosie asked Linus as she poured herself her own cup of coffee.

“Well, Shaw owes you 3 million and the deadline you gave him expired,” Linus explained, he knew Rosie hated having things held over her head. She would prefer to get them out of the way as soon as possible.

“Well then, let’s go pay him a visit. I could use a drink. Afterwards, can you drop me off at the cemetery?” “Of course, Roo,” Linus said. Rosie huffed in response, rolling her eyes at the name. Linus loved to get a rise out of Rosie. Her remarks to his comments were just a sign of their playful banter.Rosie’s relationship with Linus was complicated. They were partners, most of the time.

Rosie had gone really dark over the past years. There were days where she refused to get out of bed. Sitting in bed wasting the entire day away. Henry would come home from work and try his best to comfort her but after Parker he was just as lost as her. They lived in the same house but not truly together. Not as lovers, maybe as roommates.

All Rosie could feel were thoughts of hopelessness, desolation, and misery. Never being able to find that light at the end of the tunnel. She didn’t deserve to find it, thinking she was the one who pushed you and Tom away. Blaming herself for Parker. All these feelings and Henry wasn’t there, too busy with his own life.

One day, Rosie had gotten real low. Couldn’t find a way out so she went to the gun room grabbed the closest pistol, a bottle of scotch, a glass and sat in Tom’s office. She rested on Tom’s chair trying to find the will to end it all. To point the pistol and pull the trigger.

It would be so easy, the flick of a finger. No more pain. She tried not to think about everything she was giving up. Never seeing you or Tom again, or Henry. Never loving him again, if they ever did manage to find their way back to each others arms. Never experiencing the things that made life worth living.

All her thoughts were halted as Linus barged in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the broken girl hold a gun unto her temple, its safety clicked off. The room was cold as an icy chill ran down his spine.

“Rosie, what are you doing!?!” Linus thundered, trying to stop her before she pulled the trigger. “I don’t know. I think I’m trying to end it all,” Rosie whispered as tears streamed down her face. Deep down she didn’t want to pull the trigger, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“End what all? Your life?” Linus asked, trying to talk her off the metaphorical ledge. Something had to happen that pushed her to this point. Rosie had to be drowning and calling out for help but no one came. “No, it was never about killing myself. It was just about ending the pain and suffering,” she cried.

“Rosie, listen to me. There is so much more you have to live for. This will pass. Think about everything you are giving up.” Linus tried to appeal to the people she loved, you, Tom, and Henry. Losing Rosie would no longer make you a mother. How could Rosie take that away from you?

“I already have and it hasn’t, for 2 years. How do you know it will get any better?” Rosie begged for a true answer. She had been slumping around, letting the days pass her by as she stood silent, screaming non-vocally for help. Trapped in an asylum of misery. “I don’t. But I’ll be there to help you,” Linus exclaimed, giving her the truthful response she wanted. Rosie just needed to hear that she wasn’t alone in this world anymore. “No, you won’t. You’ll just leave like everyone else. Henry doesn’t love me anymore. My parents left. I’m all alone.” “Roo, you aren’t alone. Just hand me the gun and we can work this out. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here,” Linus pleaded. That was the first time he had used that nickname. The name had been reserved for only Henry, Parker and you. In that moment Rosie saw someone she missed so dearly in Linus, Parker. Parker was the only person who was 100% there for her. He was there to talk her off the ledge. He was there at her weakest and in a split second he was standing in front of her.

Rosie gave in, removing the gun from her temple, clicking the safety one and handing it over. She slowly stood up, coming over to Linus and collapsed in his arms. Rosie whispered a small “I missed you” as he held the broken girl. He was the only one who could pull her out. Not Henry, god she wished it was Henry. Linus understood her pain and didn’t try to fix everything.

Henry was the opposite. Constantly worrying about Rosie and trying to find a solution for everything. Things from the slightest backache to feelings of hopelessness. Rosie didn’t need fixing she just needed to be heard and Linus made sure she was. At Harmon’s, the bar was quite empty. Just Shaw and a few of his men. Shaw has borrowed money from Rosie to clear of a few charges. The Holland name had some pull in the legal community. Dating back to Dom’s days but Tom mostly laid down roots.

Linus entered first, firing two shots to take out Shaw’s capos. “Jesus Christ,” yelled Shaw as his protection thudded against the floor.

Rosie followed Linus in, making her presence known, “Shaw, you know I’m not a fan of people not staying true to their word. Do you have my money?”

“Rosie, doll. I paid you in full already. If this just your sad attempt to stir something up we can work this out another time. Shoo, let me finish my drink,” Shaw snickered. “Shaw, I know your games. You have 3 minutes to transfer my money right now. One for each million. I have Linus checking for a deposit of 3 million, make this simple and do it,” Rosie stated with an unchanging expression. “I need more time, that’s not enough. It’s all in separate accounts,” Shaw asserted, his voice starting to waver as he stared down the barrel of her pistol. “Well then, I’d hurry if I were you. Here’s your phone. Just wire the money… Starting now,” Rosie exclaimed as Linus devoted his stare to watch. Glancing at the seconds tick away.

“Fine, I’m going,” Shaw screamed, about to crack under the pressure.

“2 minutes left,” Linus chimed in. “Okay, I’m just inputing the dollar amount, it’s a lot of zeros.” Shaw tried to explain. He was about to lose his life because he was slow.

“50 secs.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6—“

“I’m done,” Shaw said, letting out the breath he was holding.

“That was fast but not fast enough,” Rosie whispered raising her gun square to the back of his head. Her finger slipped to the trigger and fired a shot.

BANG

“Wow, I didn’t think you actually kill him,” Linus said, impressed by her ruthlessness.

“He was getting on my nerves, besides he will never borrow money from me again if he is dead,” Rosie chuckled. “You know I found that really hot,” Linus whispered in her ear. “You always do.” Rosie grinned at his advances, trying to pull her close to his chest. “Hey, this can’t keep happening.”

“Oh, come on. You say that every time. I can’t hide my feelings for you anymore.”

“Well, you are going to have to. I was clear about what this was. So I’m going to ask you this once more time, what do you want?” “I want you.” “Well you can have me in the bathroom in 2 minutes.” “Roo, you’re too good to me,” Linus smirked, following her as she glided to the restroom.

Everything lasted about 30 mins. They were in and out in a flash. The bar now smelled of sex and a dead bodies. Linus was the first to finish, coming out of the bathroom looking disheveled as hell. Sporting the same juts had a quickie look. Linus went to pull the car around after fixing his hair in the mirror.

Linus would never be Henry and that was a good thing, Linus was different. By no circumstances was Rosie in love with Linus or will ever be in love with him, he was merely a distraction. Rosie knew her relationship with him was wrong but he made her feel alive once more.

Rosie emerged from bathroom breathing heavy, almost gasping for air, with sweat glistening on her chest. She straightened out her dress as combed down her hair. Stepping out of the doorway, the smell of a fresh rotting body hit her.

Rosie immediately turned around and lunged for the toilet. She had been in the business for 3 years and never before had her body reacted this way. She hurled into the toilet for a good ten minutes. Eventually bringing her head out of the toilet bowl to wipe off her mouth. The air was now coupled with sex, dead bodies and vomit. She was clueless to what forced her to keep her head in a toilet bowl.

After her nausea spell passed her, she had Linus drop her off near the cemetery. “Oh, you can drop me off here. I need something from the pharmacy anyways,”Rosie informed Linus. She was planning on picking up something for her stomach, it was very unlikely for her to throw up suddenly.

“Ok, Roo. Do you need a ride home?” Linus questioned.

“No, Jared is supposed to pick me up. Thank you,” Rosie exclaimed, getting out of the car. “Alright. Happy birthday by the way. Can I have a kiss goodbye?” “Thank you and no. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah for the party,” Linus called out slowly driving away. “Wait! What did you say?” Rosie remarked but he was already long gone.

Rosie was mentally kicking herself, she didn’t have the willpower to deal with a party tonight. She specifically told Henry, not to throw one but since when did he listen to her.

Their road to ultimately heartbreak was a two way street. Both of them had done something to warrant the loveless relationship. Rosie admitted to herself, that she eventually did stop trying. She stopped constantly asking if Henry wanted to go out for dinner and what time he would be home. Rosie prefers to blame Henry but in reality, she was then one who let go first.

Rosie stopped showing him love, too distraught by his every move because it was a constant reminder her brother wasn’t there anymore. Henry would try to work him into every little conversation, remembering Parker in everything. It grew too much for Rosie. Rosie had never been one for confronting her feelings, preferring to shove them down but how could she, when Henry would never shut up about Parker.

Parker was the main reason a wedge had been driven between them, but she wouldn’t dream of blaming her dead brother. Who couldn’t even defend himself. Rosie needed a reset after Parker but Henry was stuck living in the past.

Rosie was ready to start her life with Henry after graduation but he couldn’t let go. After a while, Rosie became just like him. Stuck drifting into a void of pure sadness. Rosie couldn’t let go, along with Henry. Their lives went in different directions, Rosie was blossoming into a ruthless leader who would only act soft around Parker, vowing to visit his grave everyday. And Henry got left behind at some point, not seeing how he fit in her life anymore.

In the pharmacy she scanned the aisles for some sort of quick remedy. If Henry was throwing her a surprise party, one she specifically asked not for. Rosie didn’t have days to recuperate, maybe a few hours.

She found the largest bottle of Pepto-Bismol and stopped by the card aisle. Carefully grasping a birthday card for her favorite person. One that was funny yet endearing. Parker was addicted to all the corned jokes she would crack. She made her way to the register. In front of her stood a little old woman, she wore a purple floral dress and her white stained hair was pulled into a clip.

“Just this for you sweetie? Oh, who’s birthday is it?” Asked the little lady, referring to the birthday card Rosie grabbed for Parker.

“My brother’s and um, could I also get this,” Rosie responded as her eyes glanced below her. Skimming over the candy bars, gum packets and eventually landing on a pregnancy test. Come to think of it, Rosie was late about a week and a half.

“Of course, honey. Would you like to use the restroom?” Queried the lady. Rosie nodded in response. She finished paying and quickly made her way to the restroom. Following the directions on the box carefully, she needed to be a hundred percent sure, before she told anyone.

Right around the corner was the cemetery. She glided through iron gates, walking across the cobble stone path before she came upon the place she loved most in the world. The place where she would hold nothing back, spilling everything to him.

Life of a mob boss was dangerous but things started to seem eerie for Rosie. She would feel weird presences or someone watching her at eerie times. The same feeling plagued her at the cemetery, today. She knelt down to the headstone, engraved in it read “Here Lies Parker Jackson Holland, Taken from us too soon, a son, a brother, and a friend.”

“Hey, P. You probably get tired of me visiting you. Everyday I’m here and sometimes I think I do it for my benefit more than yours. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy and most likely you are with Charlotte. I’m happy for you, Parker. No matter how much I wish you were here with me, I know that you are happy that you escaped this life. Happy 20th birthday.” Rosie whispered, fixing the flowers that began to wilt from yesterday.

“I have some really amazing news to share with you, but it will have to wait till next time. You can’t be the first person I tell, I’m sorry. He deserves to know before you…. Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at work…”

This is the one thing that brought Rosie solace. She persistently blames herself for that fateful night 3 years ago. Rosie would spend hours kneeling next to his headstone. She would tell him about her life and read off the postcards you and Tom sent from your travels. Talking to him as if he was still there.

Rosie glanced at her watch, it was half past five and she hadn’t even called Jared yet to pick her up. “I’m sorry P, I gotta go. Henry, god love him but, that bastard is throwing me a birthday party. I guess I should at least make an appearance. I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you.” Rosie said, walking towards the parking lot.

She stood under the gate for ten minutes waiting for Jared to arrive and escort her home. The weather completely shifted as the sun set around her. The once blue sky changed to one painted with vibrant yellows and pinks. The sky was a sight not to be missed but she could do without the freezing winds that accompanied.

A chill ran down her spine as she waited in the darkness. Feeling a sensation that only warranted panic. Rosie felt someone watching her once again. Maybe from a far or up close, but she definitely wasn’t alone. It was silly that she let feelings like those get to her. She was a mob boss for god sakes, scaring even the most menacing of men into submission.

Rosie eyes started darting everywhere a noise left. In the corner of her eye she caught a figure drenched in shadows approaching. She tried to scramble for her gun, but soon realized she left it in Linus’s car.

The stranger kept making advances and managed to get to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a cloth to her mouth. Causing her to be consumed in darkness as her body grew limp.

Back at the manor, Henry was setting everything up perfectly. His mission was to make Rosie love her birthday once more. While Henry was working hard at hanging the birthday banner and decorating every corner with balloons, Linus was no help at all. Lounging on the couch and finishing a beer.

“So are you going to pick up Rosie and get off your ass?” Henry barked, pulling the coffee out from under Linus, causing him to spill his beer.

“Seriously, dude. What’s your problem?” Linus snapped.

“My problem is my girlfriend isn’t here. Aren’t you supposed to pick her up?” “No, Jared is.” “Linus, Jared is here. He has been for a few hours. Where is she?” Henry questioned, starting to worry. “I don’t know. Last, I left her at the cemetery.” “Henry! It’s so good to see you,” you cheered as Tom and you walked in. Hugging Henry after not seeing him for awhile. It still pained you to visit, traveling was the perfect distraction.

“Hope you have been taking care of yourself, son. Where’s Rosie?” Tom questioned. “Yeah, I’ve been good. At the moment, I don’t know where she is. She’s missing,” Henry concluded. You and Tom stood completely still as you processed the news. It wasn’t everyday that your daughter would disappear into thin air, but her job did keep her life in danger.Rosie missing was uncommon. It had happened once or twice in the past but that was 3 years ago. So much had changed, for the better. Yet, you were once again in the same place, in the house you left because everything was too familiar. Rosie missing was all too familiar.

Rosie came to. Opening her eyes to a place she chose to forget. For all she knew it was an exact replica. Warehouses riddled all of London’s ports, she could be anywhere.

“Text your driver and tell him Henry picked you up for a special birthday dinner,” Rosie’s kidnapper barked, thrusting a phone in front of her.

“Really? You kidnapped me? After 3 years of being leader of London’s most feared mob, it’s like been there done that. Do you want money or something? I have a party to get to.” Rosie quipped, annoyed with they man’s pursuits.

“Oh, I know. I believe happy birthday is granted. 20 years is a milestone.”

“Whatever, I don’t really like my birthday anyway.”

“Wanna talk about it?” The stranger pestered on. Rosie had learned lesson from the last time she was restrained to chair, rope around her wrists and ankles, ceasing blood flow. This time it was zip ties, a little basic for any mobster she has had a run with.

“No. I want you to let me go. Seriously, what do you want? I don’t think you know who I am. Or who my father is,” Rosie asserted.

“A moment alone together is all I ask and I know exactly who you are and who your dad is. Correction, who our dad is.”

“Parker.”

A/n: Finally the end. Alright, I'm going to bed. There is no set schedule for the sequel series, I'm just going to post a chapter when I finish writing it. Let me know if you like to be tagged in the sequel chapters.

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy @quaksonhehe @housepartyprotocol

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 2

Really struggled with this chapter and it was meant to include a Paddy confrontation but it wouldn't fit, so that's still to come!

(AO3 link)

It had to happen, he’d known there would be no escaping them once he was back in the village and he’d barely set a foot outside the door of the B&B on the way to see the solicitor about Seb, before going to visit Robert, when his Mum is there.

“Mum, I don’t have time right now.” He opens the car door only for her to slam it shut.

“Make time. What on earth are you playing at Aaron? You disappear with barely a word, we don’t hear from you for a year and then you’re back and you don’t tell us.”

“Why would I?”

“I’m your mother!”

“Right. Of course. I guess I missed your text at Christmas did I? Or all the calls you made, given you had my number.” She doesn’t answer, barely even looks sorry and he opens the door again. “Like I said, I don’t have time. I’ve a meeting about getting my son back.”

“What? Why?”

“What do you mean why?” He’s half in the car and the voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Robert tells him to leave it but he can’t. “He’s mine and Robert’s son, he deserves to be with us.”

“Bothered now is he? Now he doesn’t have to share him.”

“You’re hardly someone to lecture on leaving a child Mum.”

“You can’t speak to me like that!”

“I can, and I just did. Now, I’m late.” He spots his Gran at the door to the B&B and she smiles at him, and it gives him the courage to go, to not get sucked into the same old arguments again. “Bye Mum.”

———-

“So you just left her standing there?” Robert chuckles when he’s finished telling his story. “I wish I could’ve seen it.”

“I bet you do. You’re a nightmare. No doubt I’ll get an earful next time I see her or Paddy.”

“Why don’t you find somewhere outside the village? There’s no need to stay there and put up with them.”

“I’m nearer Seb this way. Besides who’s going to keep you in gossip if I’m not there. I can handle ‘em. Anyway, how are you?”

“I’m fine. Stop worrying. Ethan’s good you know, really good. He’s been over everything again this morning.”

“I…is it wrong to say I’m afraid to hope?” That was what was at the root of everything, his fear that all of this would've been for nothing and he’d lose him anyway. Robert reaches over and places his hand over Aaron’s, holding tight when Aaron instinctively moves away.

“I don’t care, Aaron. I don’t care who knows.”

“But…” It wasn’t safe, it meant a target on your back, he knew that. He gulps, Robert was willing to do that, to out himself in here, for him.

“I hid for so long, I don’t…I know it might mean trouble, but I don’t want to have to sit across from you and not even be able to hold hands. I can’t. You’re my husband.”

“I know that. I don’t need you to hold my hand to know it. I just want you to be safe.” He was so proud of him, but at the same time, fear and memories were making him urge to pull his hand away to protect him.

“You keep telling me not to worry about you, well I’m telling you not to worry about me. You said you’re afraid to hope, and so am I, but once upon a time I was afraid to hope I could ever be with you, have a family with you.” He nods, he’s not convinced, daren’t let himself be, but he’s not going to take away whatever’s improved Robert’s mood. “Anyway, tell me about Seb.”

“He’s amazing. He introduced me to all his toys, and told me how he’d shared some with Harry because he was all grown up now and didn’t need them.”

“I can’t believe all that time, Rebecca was gone and we didn’t know. I don’t understand why no one called us. Cain knew where we were.”

“I asked him that. He reckoned he knew we’d come rushing home, and he figured you being banged up for life wouldn’t do Seb any good. I told him that wasn’t his decision to make, but you know Cain. But we’re back now, he’s not without us any more.”

“Well you at least.”

“Only for a while. Then the three of us are going to be happy ever after. I saw the solicitor this morning. She reckons it’s just a formality for him coming home to us, some box ticking and that, as long as we’ve got a decent place for him to live.”

“Which we don’t.”

“That’s tomorrow’s job, finding somewhere half decent for us until you come home and we decide where we’re going to live.”

“You know, you could always buy Liv out of the house.”

“No.”

“Aaron…”

“I mean it. For one thing I don’t want to go back there, not now, and second as angry as I am with her still, I wouldn’t turf her out. Besides, we don’t even know if we’re staying so why make trouble?” He’d thought about it, it’d be easier than finding somewhere else, but at the end of the day he really didn’t want to go back there, not now.

“You were really serious, you’d move out of the village, even if you didn’t have to?”

“I don’t care where we live Robert. It looks pretty clear Mum and I aren’t going to make amends, and anyone else can always visit. I’m seeing an estate agent tomorrow to find somewhere to rent until you get out, so we can show social services that Seb will be cared for, and when you come home then we can do whatever we want.” He frowns as the bell rang signalling their time was up. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do so stop thinking the way you are.”

“I hate how well you know me sometimes.” They get to their feet and he hesitates, for all Robert’s words he might not want to hug goodbye, but Robert pulls him close, holding him tight before smiling at him. “Kiss Seb for me.”

“I will. I’ll see you soon.” He’d visit every day if he could but both Vic and Diane had said they wanted to visit so he’d stood aside for a couple of days. Robert goes giving him a nod, and he waits until he’s gone through the door before he turns and leaves.

———-

He doesn’t go back to the village right away, instead he parks up in a lay-by, their lay-by. His head is filled with everything he needs to do, to get everything just so for Seb, find a new house, get Cain to take him back at the garage for as long as it took. The scrapyard sale had gone through about four months into their time in France and they’d been glad of the money, still were, but it meant he had no job to go back to and he felt he needed one to make a good impression.

Then he had to be there for Robert. It felt strange to be the one taking chance, getting stuff done. It had always been Robert, the house, the wedding, he’d always taken the lead and he’d let him. He’d liked it, after so many years of being either on his own or constantly let down by his family, it was a nice feeling to have someone there to take the burden. Now he had to step up and be that person for Robert.

First things first, the job is probably the easiest thing to sort out and he texts Cain, grimacing when the reply says to meet him in the pub. That’s the last place he wants to go, but this is for Seb so he’ll do it. Cain’s buying though he decides as he puts the car in gear, heading back towards the village.

He can’t see his Mum behind the bar when he steps into the pub and he finds Cain at the table in the corner.

“Why did we have to meet in here?”

“I was in the middle of my pint. You can’t avoid her forever.”

“I’m not, she already collared me this morning. I’m not in the mood for anything she or Paddy have to say Cain and you know why.”

“Well you can’t avoid them forever if you’re staying.”

“I don’t know if we are yet.” It’s the first time he’s said it out loud to anyone but Robert but the longer he’s here the more he knows it’s not home anymore. “When Robert gets out we’ll decide where we’re going to live.”

“You’d leave, even if you don’t have to.”

“Doesn’t feel much like we’re wanted anymore. I don’t want a lecture or any kind of interference either. I just wanted to ask if I could get a few shifts at the garage…need to show social services we can provide for Seb.”

“You know I can always find work for ya. You should try and talk to your Mum though. I’m not sayin’ stay, but she’s your Mum.”

“And how’s that working for you and Gran?” He can’t help smiling a little at the scowl he gets from his uncle over the top of his pint. “If she drops the attitude then maybe I’ll talk to her, but we both know that won’t happen. Anyway, that’s all I came in for. When do you want me to start?”

“Oh, you mean you actually want to work? I was just going to make all the right noises for the social worker.”

“Nah, it’s going to be all above board. Besides, I need something to do until Robert gets out.”

“Day after tomorrow.” Cain nods. “Don’t be late.”

———-

“So, you’re taking the house?”

“Yeah, six month lease.” He lies down on the bed as he answers, the busy day getting to him all of a sudden, Robert’s voice letting him relax for the first time in hours.

“That’s optimistic.”

“I can extend it if I need to. Might want to high tail it out of town by then.” He says it to get the expected laugh from Robert and he’s pleased when he does.

“You know, we used to live there, just before I left, Me, Dad, Andy and Vic.”

“Yeah? I can call you if I need to find the stopcock then can I?”

“Ha ha.”

“Anyway, any news on a court date yet?”

“Oh, yeah, the tenth.”

“Not long then. You ok?”

“Yeah. At least we’ll know then, right?” He can hear the wobble in his voice, wants to hold him more than anything. “It’s fine, Aaron. Talk to me about Seb. Still going with the zoo for his birthday?”

“Yeah. It’s too cold for the beach and he loves animals. Then maybe tea at Vic’s. I just…can’t wait until he’s home with me properly. I miss the little monster.”

“Me too.” He lets Robert’s voice lull him nearly to sleep before they have to hang up.

———-

“I’ve packed his bag, there’s extra juice in the pockets and a change of clothes and…” He puts a hand over Vic’s as she’s rifling through the bag.

“Vic, this isn’t my first time. We’re going to be fine, right mate?”

“Yeah!”

“We’ll be back by four for tea.” He feels bad, knows she’s missing Robert too and maybe he should have stayed home, spent the day with her too but he needs to get out of the village and spending the day with Seb sounds like heaven now. “I just need to be doing something, so I’m not worrying about tomorrow all day.”

“I know. Well, you have a good day.”

Seb’s chattering keeps him occupied on the drive, it’s a nice change to the silence of his thoughts. He’s had the court date on his mind ever since Robert told him, all manner of scenarios running through his head, mostly bad as if he’s afraid to even contemplate a good outcome.

Seb loves the zoo, and Aaron takes a ton of pictures that he can take in for Robert at the next visit. He’s worn out on the drive home and Aaron has to carry him from the car.

“Aaron, I just wanted to see how you are after today.” He turns to see Ethan looking at him, concerned.

“Fine. Me and Seb have had a great day at the zoo, haven’t we mate.”

“Oh. Well that explains why I didn’t see you in court.”

“What? That’s tomorrow.”

“No, it was this morning. I assumed Robert would tell you. I did think it was odd not seeing you.”

“He told me…never mind. So…what happened?” He has to bite down on the anger rising inside him, that Robert would lie after everything, all they’d been through. “How long?”

“Two years. He’ll likely only serve half of that and then be on licence for the rest. I can take you through it all if you like, but given everything this was a good outcome.” It didn’t feel like that, it felt an age, and reliant on Robert keeping away from trouble, and the goodwill of someone who didn’t know them. “I just got off the phone, he’s staying at Hotten, although the main prison now obviously.”

“Ok, thanks.” He can’t seem to get his thoughts in order. “Sorry, I…”

“It’s ok. Why don’t I call in tomorrow and we’ll talk. I expect Robert will have called you by then.”

“Hope he’s ready to be yelled at.” Ethan laughs. “Thank you, again. I should…get him inside. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He’s on autopilot as he grabs Seb’s bag from the boot, locking the car and knocking on Vic’s door. “Your Daddy is an idiot mate. You’ll come to learn that soon enough. Always thinks he knows best he does. But we love him anyway don’t we?”

[starryknight09]

Kangaroo fever

Febuwhump Day 11: hallucinations

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

He stared.

The kangaroo stared back at him.

It stood in the corner on its hind legs like kangaroos do, licking its paws and rubbing them over its head and ears to clean itself, kind of like a cat.  Peter didn’t know they did that.

“What are you looking at?”

Peter rolled his head sloppily to the side where Tony sat in a chair by his bed, the place he’d been camped out ever since Peter had gotten sick yesterday.

“The kangaroo.” He mumbled and looked back over at it.  It still stood there, staring at him.

“The what now?” Tony asked, and Peter didn’t understand why he sounded like he was on high alert.  The kangaroo was cute.  It wasn’t going to hurt them.

“Peter, what did you say?” Tony prodded when he didn’t answer, too busy intently studying the kangaroo.  But Tony had used his full first name instead of a nickname, which he rarely did anymore.  Only when he was in trouble or Tony was worried.  Peter didn’t understand why he’d be either in this situation, but regardless, he figured he should answer.

“The kangaroo.” He repeated.  The kangaroo gave a little hop before cocking its head to the side, watching him.

“Uh huh and where is this kangaroo?”

“He’s right there in the corner.” He pointed.  “Can’t you see him?”  Peter didn’t know how he knew the animal was a ‘he’, but he just seemed to know.

“And what’s he doing?” Tony’s voice had taken on that high pitch quality it got when he was panicking and trying not to show it.

“He’s staring at me.” He mumbled and his eyes closed.  He was really tired.  “Don’t worry.  He won’t hurt us.”

“Pepper!” Tony called.

“Yes?” She asked, sounding annoyed at the way she’d been beckoned.  Peter didn’t waste the energy opening his eyes to see her expression even though he always kind of got a kick out of how Tony and Pepper interacted.  He coughed, turning his head into his pillow to muffle it.  His chest ached.  Pneumonia was no joke.

“Can you call Bruce?  The kid’s seeing kangaroos.” Tony said and a second later Peter felt him place a hand over his forehead.  It felt nice.  Cool and soothing.  “And he feels like he’s on fire.”

“What?”

“You heard me.  He’s seeing kangaroos.  He just told me they’re in the corner.”

“I’ll…call Bruce.” Pepper agreed.  “But maybe you should check his temperature.”

“Right.  Good idea.”

Peter heard her step out.  “One kangaroo.” He mumbled.

“What?” Tony asked, distracted.  Peter could hear him moving stuff around on his nightstand, probably looking for the thermometer.

“There’s only one kangaroo.  Not kangaroos.  One.” He didn’t know why he had to explain it.  Couldn’t Tony see it himself?  Although the man did need glasses and refused to admit it, which Peter found ironic since Tony wore glasses all the time, but he straight out refused to put on a pair with prescription lenses.  The other day Peter had caught him holding his tablet all the way out to the end of his arms trying to read something, but Tony had denied he was having any trouble reading, just that he like the aesthetics better that way.  Pepper had practically died laughing on the couch next to him.

“Right.  One kangaroo.  My mistake.  And is this kangaroo, uh, still there?” Tony asked.  Yep, he definitely needed glasses.

Peter groaned.  He didn’t want to open his eyes.  He wanted to slip back into dreamland to escape the pain in his head, his throat, and his chest.  But Tony had asked, and Peter had a hard time refusing him.  He cracked his eyes open, and sure enough, the kangaroo was still standing there, chilling in the corner.

“He’s still there.” He affirmed and let his eyelids slip shut again.

“All right.  Open up.” Tony ordered.

Peter complied and the thermometer slipped under his tongue.  It felt like this was the hundredth time he’d done this.  He’d protested at the beginning because he thought Tony should have some hands-free state of the art thermometer, but apparently Tony didn’t like using those because they weren’t accurate enough.  Which mean Peter had to subject himself to this periodic torture.  Tony was such a worry wart.  Spiderman wasn’t going to get taken out by a simple pneumonia.

He’d almost fallen asleep again when the thermometer beeped and brought him back to awareness, irking him.

Tony took the stupid thing out of his mouth and let out a low whistle.  “You’ve got quite the temperature there Pete.”

He hummed in acknowledgement but didn’t care.  He just wanted to sleep.

“Bruce says to check his temperature.” Pepper said, having just come back.  “He thinks it’s probably from the fever.

“Yeah he’s got a doozy of one right now.” Tony said.

He must’ve shown her the display on the thermometer because the next moment Pepper said, “Oh wow.”

“Can you grab me some of his super Advil?  Hopefully that’ll help.”

“Sure.” Pepper left again and Peter heard Tony get up as well, but he headed in the direction of the bathroom, not out the door, so Peter didn’t open his eyes or question it.

Tony came back after a minute or so and sat down.  A couple seconds later something wet and cold landed across his forehead.  It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out it was a washcloth.  He hummed his approval.  It felt nice.

Pepper returned a moment later.  “Here.”

“Thanks honey.”

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, I think we’re good.  How’s Morgan?”

“She’s fine.  Watching her fourth Disney movie of the day.  I’ve definitely let her overdo it with the screen time.  Don’t tell the parent police.”

Tony snorted and Peter heard Pepper give him short peck before leaving.  The pill bottle rattled as Tony opened it.

“I’ve got something that should help you feel better Pete.” Tony said.

“Sleep.” He protested.  That would make him feel better, but they kept insisting on harassing him.

“Take this and then you can sleep.”

He sighed but didn’t fight when Tony helped him sit up.  He put the pill in his mouth and drank the water Tony had given him to chase it down.  He handed the glass back and Tony lowered him back down against the invitingly soft pillow.

“Get some rest kid.”

That was one order from Tony he had no intention of disobeying.  As he finally fell asleep, he wondered if his new kangaroo friend would still be there when he woke up.

Something tickled his nose.  He scrunched it up and it went away, but a few seconds later it returned.  Light.  Fluffy.  Tickling.  He brought a hand up to bat it away this time, but it didn’t help.  It kept coming back.  He groaned.  So annoying.  He cracked his eyes open and saw something pink.  He blinked a couple times.  A feather.  Morgan’s feather from one of her Disney play quills.  He followed the feather to a hand, up an arm, to see Morgan’s smiling face.

“Hi.” She giggled once their eyes met.

He couldn’t help but smile back.  She had that effect on everyone.

“Daddy!” She screamed the next second and Peter jumped.  Ouch.  She had a good set of lungs on her.  “Petey’s up!”

“He woke up or you woke him up?” Tony asked a second later, arms crossed as he leaned in the doorway, obviously taking in the scene before him and putting all the pieces together.

Morgan shrugged, holding her arms out with her palms up in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture.  “He’s up.” She repeated.

“Uh huh.” Tony said skeptically.  “Why don’t you go help Mommy in the kitchen?”

“But—”

Tony raised his eyebrows and even Peter knew that look meant not to push.  “Go.”

Morgan huffed and whined, “Fine.”

Peter stifled his laugh as she practically stomped out, making her displeasure clear.  Once she was gone, Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“You know she’s a little you.” Peter said as she smiled.

“You sound like Pepper.”

Peter’s smile widened.

“Believe me, I’m aware.” Tony added, coming in to sit down in the empty chair by his bed.  He leaned over and rested a hand on his forehead, checking his temperature for a few seconds before leaning back.  “Your fever’s gone.  How are you feeling?”

He shrugged.  “Ok.”  Not great but not terrible.  He thought it was a fair assessment.

“Do you see anything over there?” Tony pointed toward the corner of the room.

Peter followed his finger but all he saw was an empty corner.  “No.  Why?”  Was he supposed to notice something?

“No more kangaroos?”

“What?” He frowned.

“You don’t remember?”

He wracked his brain to try to figure out why Tony was talking about kangaroos but he couldn’t.  He shook his head.

“The last time you were awake you were seeing kangaroos.  Sorry.  A kangaroo.  Singular.  You wanted to make sure I knew that.”

Peter scrunched his face.  “You’re messing with me.”

“I’m not!” Tony was adamant.  “You had a pretty high fever, and according to Bruce, apparently that can make you hallucinate.”

“Huh.  Weird.” He covered his mouth and let out a series of hacking coughs.

“Take it easy.” Tony soothed, helping him sit up in the middle of his fit.  As soon as it stopped, he handed him a glass of water.  Peter took it and drained it greedily.  He didn’t realize how thirsty he was until the cool water touched his lips and soothed the razors in his throat on the way down.

“Thanks.” He said as Tony took the empty glass from him and helped him lay back down so he was flat on his back again.  Peter watched as he set the glass back on the nightstand, still churning over the words in his mind.

“But why a kangaroo?” He asked, hoarse from all the coughing.

“I don’t know.  You tell me.  Been watching a lot of Crocodile Dundee lately?”

Peter huffed out a short laugh.  “No.”  

“You have a burning desire to visit Australia?”

“No.” He’d like to someday, but he definitely wouldn’t call it a burning desire.

He had no idea why his mind had conjured a kangaroo.  If anything, he thought he would've hallucinated something do with May.  Even though it’d been over a year since he’d come back from the snap only to discover May had died while he’d been gone, not a day had gone by where he hadn’t thought about her and missed her.

He took in a sharp breath when a memory came to him, one that had to do with May…and kangaroos.  She’d taken him to the zoo once when he’d been younger and there’d been a kangaroo exhibit, and he remembered May had told him kangaroos were her favorite animal.

“What?” Tony asked.

“I just remembered something.” He said quietly.

Tony waited for him to continue.

Peter looked up at him and gave him a small smile.  “May’s favorite animal was the kangaroo.”

“Really?”

Peter nodded.

“Well how about that.” Tony watched him with a careful smile, ready to be there for whatever he might need, like the rock he’d been ever since he’d taken Peter in to come live with them.  But unlike in the beginning of his grief, it’d been long enough now that he could mention May without falling apart.  And maybe there was a reason he’d seen the kangaroo.  Maybe it meant something more.  Or represented something more.  The idea comforted him.

“Yeah.” Peter glanced back to the corner with a soft smile.  “How about that.”

[caughtupinmyfeels]

Every night at 12 o'clock on the dot, it never fails, you call me up. Talking 'bout you had a bad day, so you're pullin' up. So I pour up a cup of just what you need, 'cause I know what you need. | #WhenWillILearn?

You know that kind of sleep where you’re straight up dead to the world? The kind of sleep where you can just turn over and fall even deeper into slumber because your body was so relaxed and needed the chance to recharge? I was in that place and it felt fucking amazing. I stretched with feline-like precision, my bare legs tangling in the bed sheets as I pulled them up over my shoulders. The room had dropped in temperature overnight, a subtle chill in the air making me want to bury myself deeper into the comfortable warmth. I wasn’t even sure what time it was, and frankly I didn’t care. Morning, noon or night, I had nowhere to be in that moment and I was glad. I turned onto my stomach, my lips parting in a soft yawn as my brain stirred, starting to fire up. It was so quiet. So peaceful. It was either really early, or really fucking late. The fact that I couldn’t hear music of any kind or the sound of movement outside my door had me reaching under my pillow for my phone. Holy shit. It was late. Had I really slept the day away? It was a natural reaction to feel the stirrings of what the fuck, but I reminded myself that it didn’t really matter. I lifted my head, glancing towards the window, the darkness comforting. My phone screen brightness was at the lowest setting, the sleep cycle app that was running blocking all notifications so that I wouldn’t be disturbed. Thank goodness for small mercies. My eyes flickered shut again, another yawn escaping as I shifted onto my back, pulling my hair over my shoulder as I dismissed do not disturb, my stomach twisting into a knot when I saw the multiple missed calls and text messages on my screen. Immediately, I swiped left to clear them, but the damage was done. My mind had gone from being gently awoken to firing on all cylinders. Fuck. I sighed, dropping my phone before my hand lifted to rub at my eyes, making a face when I saw the black smeared across it. I’d forgotten to take my make up off again. Getting home so late had me just kicking off my heels, peeling off my jeans and diving into bed. Sometimes, you need that. To not just give a fuck. Lately? I had run right out of them.

Whipping back the covers, I swung my bare legs over the side of the bed, standing to my feet. A shiver ran down my spine as the cold hit, pulling my T-shirt as far down over my ass as I could. I needed coffee and a hot shower. Pulling open my bedroom door, even though I knew nobody was here, I still tiptoed from my room to the bathroom. Slipping my hand behind the shower curtain, I flipped the shower on, turning it up to get the temperature nice and hot. While I let it run, I sought out the nectar of the gods. A soft snicker escaped as I saw the post it note ontop of the Keurig. ‘Just hit the button’ was all it said, @Dillon’s perfect handwriting making me laugh. I did as he suggested and leaned against the counter as the machine started to brew, the scent of French vanilla filling the kitchen. Heaven. I grabbed my creamer from the fridge, watching the coffee flow in a steady stream into my cup. When the machine stopped, I loaded my cup up and took it to the bathroom with me. Steam was billowing out of the shower, the warmth taking away the chill of the apartment. Taking a sip from my cup before I set it down, I groaned as the sweetness of the creamer hit my tongue. So freaking good. Pulling my shirt over my head, I let it drop to the floor before I pushed my panties down and stepped out of them. I wasn’t even daring a glance into the mirror before I got into the shower. I had no doubt I was a hot mess. I let the steam envelop me, the heat of the water hitting my skin with welcome pressure. A sigh of relief escaped as I lifted my hand to run through my hair, the other resting against the cool tile wall. My mind was racing. It always did when #Noah decided he had the balls to come back round again. It was always the same old routine. The phone calls and texts would start. When he realized he was getting ignored, he would hang round outside the bar, hoping to get at me that way. Sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn’t. It had been nearly six months since I last saw him. Six blissful, quiet months in which nobody had tried to play with my head or my heart. It was complicated. In fact, that was a bit of an understatement. We made complicated look pretty simple. No matter how hard I tried to stop myself from reminiscing, I never could. I had learned to detach myself from the memories, but the echoes of the feelings were still there. I closed my eyes, image after image assaulting my mind. When you love someone, it never really goes away. It burns for the rest of your life or it changes you. There are so many different types of love that you’re never really out of it. You’re just in a different state. Six months ago? My wounds had been reopened. The stitches that I’d sloppily inflicted on my heart never had the hope of healing. Yet, I kept on doing it. I’d swore it was the last time and in my mind, it was. I’d made it clear, hadn’t I? We weren’t good for each other. We never had been. If we were? Our relationship would have worked out the first time around. #Noah didn’t agree. The second, third and fourth times weren’t much better and each of them did a hell of a number on my heart. It was the back and forth, unsteady steps and uncertainty that finally had me calling time on us. Every time I got pulled in, he played to my weaknesses. I love you. I need you. Poof went my sense and down went my panties. We would fall into bed and I would tell myself that it was just a one time thing. We would fuck and fight. Swear to stay away from each other. Then the texts would start. The late night phone calls that would go on for hours. We’d promise that we could be friends. Date other people. It would work for a while. Then, the cycle would start again.

I miss you. Can I come over? I would get stuck thinking about the crappy date I’d been on that week, or remember that night I got too drunk and ended up with a noname who needed a fucking map to find my clit. Every time, #Noah would swoop in and make me feel like it was the first time all over again. He would kiss me and the fire would start again and need would take over. It didn’t matter if we were in the middle of a bar or in the backseat of his car. It was impossible to resist. His hand would be in my panties while he whispered dirty little things into my ear. It was like an addiction that had no cure and I had no will to fight it. Except the last time -was- the last time. I’d fallen for his sweet talk yet again, my cooch and heart doing the thinking. I’d gone into it legs open and got fucked in ways I wasn’t prepared for. The one thing you don’t want to hear from a guy when you’ve spent most of the afternoon with his dick in your mouth and his head between your legs? I’ve met someone. It was like a switch had been flipped in me. There were no niceties. We didn’t part as friends. We didn’t part as anything. It was done. I’d come to the realization that he’d never made an effort to let me go because he loved me, he just didn’t want anyone else to have me. I was just too stupid to see it. Dicknotized. I wasn’t falling for it again. Squeezing a glob of shampoo into my hand, I lathered up my hair, before I reached for my puff and body wash. No matter how many times I scrubbed myself, I could still feel him on me. Inside me. The memories felt like fingertips gripping my hips. Like bruises that never faded. Painful. Everlasting. Yet invisible to the eyes. I thought that they had healed, but clearly, I wasn’t quite there yet. I hated the scent of the body wash. It reminded me of him. Of the one too many times that Dillon had caught us in here, loudly proclaiming that we were fucking animals who should be on display in a zoo. He was one of the main reasons why I’d stayed away from #Noah. Every time I had a moment, he’d remind me of the ten pounds I gained from inhaling nothing but Ben and Jerry’s in the days that followed our last go round. He would remind me that no dick was worth gaining a double chin for. Especially dick that drove a truck and said y’all far too much. He was my saving grace. My best friend. The one who put me to bed after too much wine and knew my coffee order off by heart. He said everything I needed to hear without saying a word. If he was straight? I probably would’ve fallen head over heels for him. All the best ones were gay. Thankful that my mind was turning around, I rinsed my hair and washed my face, determined to leave #Noah locked up tight at the back of my mind, where he belonged.

My coffee was still warm when I got out of the shower, and I chugged it back before I decided to eat something more substantial than the poptart I’d crammed after I got home last night. I turned up the air in the apartment, rubbing a towel through my wet hair after I got dressed. I was nothing but nipples in this ice box. Dumping the towel in my laundry basket, I grabbed my phone and took it with me into the living room. Getting comfortable on the sofa, I saw several more missed calls, blowing out a breath at the way it made me feel. Nervous. Apprehensive. The thing that surprised me the most? The lack of my heart skipping a beat. There was none of that weird energy that usually filled me, making me feel like I couldn’t sit still. Maybe I really was finally getting over Noah. Letting go of all the hurt, resentment and frustration was good for my soul. So was Chinese food. Muting Noah’s number so he would fade into the oblivion of missed notifications, I ordered dinner, firing off a text to Dillon to tell him I’d ordered his favorite orange chicken and was planning to eat it all. The minute my phone pinged with his response, I was laughing. “You’re going to die alone and fat. With a dozen cats that will eat your face.” I set my phone down, grabbing the Apple TV remote from the coffee table. Every girl needed some McDreamy on a Friday night. Dillon had already spoiled it for me, so I knew my days with Derek Shepard were numbered. Meredith Grey was a lucky bitch. I needed all that pick me, choose me, love me crap. Men like him didn’t really exist and it gave women like me unrealistic expectations. It was probably why I kept going back to a guy who could promise me nothing but multiple orgasms. The sigh that left my lips was real. I’d heard every pick up line, every cheesy come-on. Working at a bar had served me well over the years. I’d been a therapist, agony aunt and a consoler of the heartbroken for years. Heard every kind of scandalous story you could imagine, and seen more bathroom stall sex than I cared to. I’d also been hit on so many times that I was immune to it. I could shoot the shit with just about anyone without a single dent in my bumper. Well, except for the Noah sized one, and I was looking for a good mechanic to pop that out. I got swept away in the show, jumping out of my skin when the doorbell rang. Shit. I grabbed some cash from my purse, counting it as I went to the door. Yeah, I had enough and then some for a tip. I went to pull the door open, soft laughter escaping when I realized that Dillon had double locked the door. Flipping the latch back, I pulled the door open, my breath hitching in my throat when I saw #Noah on the other side of the door. “We need to talk.”

Story first published on Twitter. Find me on @GiveMeAThrilI.

[joyfulsongbird]

Bruises And All- Chapter 2

the storm still raging about, Eurydice has to keep her walls up despite the kindness of the people that surround her.

tw: past abuse, do what’s good for you

***

EURYDICE is not alright. she is afraid, and shivering, and cold, and wants to sleep forever. she is bruised and young and in a place she’s never been before: in the hands of men who care. her entire body is screaming at her to run out of this place, to hell with the rain, she wants to run right into the ocean. that’s why she came here, for the ocean. she wanted to feel the tangible salt in the air, run her fingers through the sand. she wants to make sandcastles dammit. she wants to sit criss cross like a child and scream as the waves wash to the shore in huge heaps of foam. she wants to regain the childhood she never had, she’s twenty and she’s never felt sand between her toes. she lived a mere few hours away from a beach and never went home with her tongue tasting like salt.

the two men of the house bustle about like she isn’t there. the older man- Mister Hermes- had handed her a bundle of dry clothes but hadn’t told her where to change or where she was allowed to go. and the boy- Orpheus- is now coming up from the stairs carrying some towels in his arms. his eyes have fear in them as he approaches her, she leans back, resisting the urge to take a step towards the tables. but that shows fear, she isn’t weak, she isn’t afraid (she is) and she can’t show weakness.

“h-here.” oh, so he’s afraid too. he’s afraid of a girl who looks terrifying and terrified at the same time. she knows that her black makeup must be running down her face by now like onyx tears. her eyes, just as dark, must contain the emptiness of dozens of people. and maybe, if you looked the right way, you could start to see the purplish blue of a bruise creeping up both sides of her neck, and if she took off her coat, you could make out the shape of a handprint on either side of her neck. she will not being taking off her coat.

“thank you.” she keeps her eyes downcast from his, who does not attempt to not stare at her. and it isn’t an intruding stare but it makes her feel naked. like he can look at her and see the deepest secrets she holds close to her chest. the ones she would never dare speak aloud.

he backs away, walking backwards a few steps before thinking better of it and turning around, only to trip over his feet. clumsy, young, naive. the exact opposite of her.

she opens her mouth, closes it, opens it, closes it. repeats it again and again until she opts for clearing her throat to get Mister Hermes’ attention from his position behind the bar where he is searching under it for something.

“yes?” he says, looking up.

“where can I-” she holds up the bundle of clothes and towel.

“oh!” he startles himself with the realization that she’s a girl and won’t strip down in front of the two of them. “bathroom is up the stairs, first door to the left.”

she thanks him quietly, starting up the stairs with her bag on her shoulder. the wood is old and creaking and has obviously been held up for years and years. it’s worn in places that have been touched over and over, smooth and glossy and finished from years of wear and tear. at one time, she might’ve loved the smell of this place, like beer and the residual scent of bar food. she knows that smell well. some might have spent their childhoods in candy shops, up against the side of a park. her reminiscence comes from cacophony of voices and music, the yelling of gamblers, all squashed into one tiny room. at one time in her life, she would’ve felt nostalgia over these smells.

now, her stomach churns at the memories.

the bathroom is small, with a rusty old sink and a shower head in the corner with an old fashioned bathtub. she’d like nothing more than a hot shower right now but holds back her wants, water bills are expensive these days. some of the less fortunate (herself included) are commonly acquainted with the idea of limited water supply per week. she does however, splash her face with water from the sink briefly before looking in the mirror.

this is not the girl she remembers. she is not the girl she once knew when she looked in the mirror.

no wonder Orpheus was scared, she’s scary. her eyes bloodshot, dark bags underneath them. bruises peeking out of her coat collar. and under her coat, a little body with hips sticking out, arms somehow twig sized and toned with muscle gained over the years. she looks like a creature, like an animal you might find in the depths of the ocean. hair everywhere, cheekbones sharp... when was the last time she had a proper meal? if she’s being honest, probably years. she feels this sense of betrayal looking at herself. she lost herself over what? over her pride, over her sense of self recognition. she needed to be a person so she fought and cried and screamed when they tried to take that away. little did she know that she was destined to be a creature anyways.

she lets her coat fall to the floor in a soaking pile of fabric, next to her bag. her fingers run freely over her neck, tracing the bruises that create patterns crawling all the way up from her collarbones, culminating in clear-ish handprints on her neck. it’s so very obvious that she can barely take it. she tries to convince herself that no one can tell you’re in the clear no one knows no one knows nooneknowsnooneknowsnooneknowsnooneknowsnooneknows

no one can know

she looks away from the mirror, from the creature looking back at her. peeling off all of her other clothes except for her underclothes, she lets them all drop to the floor. she observes each of them individually, a ripped slip dress, old black tights. she removes her boots too, as those are soaked to the sole. she avoids the mirror, she does not want to see those bruises extend beyond her collarbones to where she knows they sit... her ribs burn, her stomach churns, her spine aches. she hurts everywhere.

the clothes Mister Hermes gave to her are obviously childrens clothes, probably Orpheus’. anything else of either of theirs would not fit her. these ones may still be too big. she holds it up to her body... it will hang too loosely, what she has gone through will be on full display. her pain will be there to be looked at and she knows she will be stared at like she is an animal in some zoo.

be brave, be strong, deny it, just deny it, they’ll never know

you can leave as soon as this blows over, you can go to the ocean

she pulls on the shirt, the loose pants she was given too. her toes are cold, but her socks are wet too. everything she is, everything she wore that represented who she was is gone. she is stripped down, she is as naked as any baby. she’s as helpless as the same. or so she feels. stuck in one place, not being able to leave, it makes her feel antsy. she is constantly moving, like the undercurrents of the ocean. ever flowing, ever changing.

deep breath in, deep breath out.

she leaves the bathroom. she doesn’t care what they think of her. they aren’t going to care... and anyways, she could’ve gotten these bruises from falling in the forest or anywhere else.

on the way down the stairs, her heart rate speeds up. to a rate where her entire body feels each and every beat. her chest throbs with every heartbeat, every breathe, every pulsating beat. she’s afraid, that’s the feeling, she’s feeling fear. she wants nothing more than to burrow under the earth, sleep for years and years, hibernate for the rest of her life. to comfort herself, she clutches her clothes close to her chest. despite the fact that it leaves a wet patch on her shirt. it’s keeping her present. the cold of the water is keeping her mind sharp.

relief courses through her that all that she gets in response for walking down the stairs is a frown from Mister Hermes. no one is noticing, this is good. this is good.

“you can put those wet clothes by the door leading to the basement,” he points towards it, not looking at her. “I’ll wash them.”

“Oh, you don’t-”

“it’s no trouble, I’m going to be washing mine, just put them there.” his voice is firm enough that she argues no more. for a moment, her whole body sparks with the instinct to apologize. and she has to remind herself that she apologizes to no one now, she is her own person. her apology is only to be given out to those who deserve it for things that matter.

she puts them by the door.

Mister Hermes leaves the room, to go upstairs, supposedly to go up to the bathroom as well. and Eurydice is alone.

she is alone and can be weak.

[descensoparcialdeliris]

Alright, here it is @boysrunaway 💞💓. I really hope you like this.

Hold you for a million years.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

Go to the ends of the Earth for you

To make you feel my love.

*****

It was almost midnight and they were holding tightly to each other. Finn had his head on Sam's shoulder and Sam's hands were connecting in Finn's back, hugging him. Their legs were intertwined in the sweetest but clingiest way possible. Inhaling and exhaling at the same rate, with their hearts beating in sync. It was the calm after the storm.

It all felt just right at that moment. Finn really could just be there for as long as he lived and not complain one bit. There, at that moment, where the only thing that mattered was each other's bodies covered in that yellow dim light, where the only thing they could hear was each other's breathing and that show they could not stop watching, where the only thing they could smell was each other's scent and where the only thing they could taste was each other's lips. At that moment, they were just them, every single piece of the world outside was non-existent.

"Jij en ik, 100%, voor altijd" Finn couldn't help but sigh, feeling Sander's words as his, holding even more tightly to Sam. Trying to tell him all that just by touching. Sam returned the hug, leaving also a sweet kiss on Finn's forehead. Finn would sometimes get so lost in his thoughts, thinking everything that happened was too good to be true and his way of getting back to reality was by touching, giving and receiving. Sam knew that, he had learned to read Finn's expressions and learned how to make him feel more at ease. "In elk universum" They both smiled at the tv screen. That sentence had a lot of power to them, relating so much to it.

It was always like this when one of them felt a little down. It had become now their thing, they would cuddle and watch that show every time any of them felt even just a little tired. No words needed, just the touch. This clip in specific was their cure, they would always fully release the tension on their bodies after hearing the short dialogue. Sometimes they would watch the rest of the show, other times they'd turn off the tv and fall asleep, or talk for a while. Most of the times, though, Finn would get his sketchbook and roughly sketch whatever he was feeling at the moment, just caring about portraying his emotions, more than how aesthetically pleasing the sketches would look. And Sam would be there, watching him draw, admiring him. Finn just loved to know Sam would be there to kiss every scar.

"You okay?" Sam whispered after he had sat up to turn off the tv, looking at Finn expectedly but with loving eyes, then changing positions and trying to find one comfortable enough for both of them. They had still their legs intertwined, but now they were facing each other, with their chests far apart and with their hands on each other, Finn had his on the side of Sam, while Sam's was going up and down the soft skin of Finn's arm, brushing his fingers ever so lightly, tracing now his little clown tattoo on the inside of his forearm.

Finn looked up at him, with his eyes fully open and smiling. "I am now" he replied, giving Sam a peck, getting closer to him and lowering his head a little. Now he had just his lover's locket on sight, he reached out to it, played with it a little, thinking about the story behind it and then opened it up. And there it was, the small version of one of the many paintings he had done for his boyfriend. It was a simple painting: two blue train seats with the sunlight sneaking through the window on the side. Finn had painted it one night, after hanging out, way before they knew they had feelings for each other, when they used to be just best friends. It was not the best day Finn had had and Sam had noticed it, so he put one earphone in Finn's ear and the other one in his, trying to make him feel at least just a little better. They were listening to music, singing, nothing out of the ordinary, but Finn had looked so lovely and baby with the sun shining on his face that Sam couldn't help but snap a picture of it. "Wacht, just keep looking at the sun" he remembered those words so vividly, like it had just been yesterday. And oh, it had been so tempting to him to just keep looking at Sam; so tempting to stay still, wait for Sam to ask him what was wrong and just tell him "I'm looking at the sun, you're my sun". But he didn't do it, so once he got home, he had to paint something not only to treasure that moment forever, but to free himself of what he was feeling.

Finn smiled a little bigger, remembering all those sweet times they had had even before they started dating. "What do you want to do now? Do you want to sleep?" Sam asked softly. Finn closed the locket and left it hanging on Sam's chest and looked up at him again. "I have completely lost any desire of sleeping, to be honest" Finn watched as a small and mysterious grin was growing on Sam's face and he furrowed his eyebrows, knowing he had something on mind but couldn't figure out what it was "Wha-"

"Alright, then, kom!" said Sam and jumped out of the bed, dragging him along.

"Wait, wait" Finn replied while laughing softly, confused by the sudden change of tone the whole situation had had. "What are you planning on doing?" he asked, curious but letting himself be dragged out of the bed, looking so lovely at Sam. God, he was so gone for him, he loved him so much. Sam just gave him one of his sweet smiles, the ones that made Finn's world stop and his stomach do silly things.

Sam positioned his boyfriend just behind the window. "Stay right here, I'll be right back" Finn felt a tender kiss on his shoulder and then the cold of his boyfriend's absence.

From where he was, he could see the moon, study it, feel its light on him like so many times before. He'd sketched to that light way too many times. For so long, the moon had just become his best friend, keeping him company when he couldn't get himself to sleep. When he'd felt so heavy, he'd think the space-time would distort just beneath him, he would feel the moon and the stars closer to him, so close that if he dared, he would be able to touch them. He'd feel so overwhelmed by the intense light he imagined to be striking him; but still wanting to reach out to it; feeling confused as well, how did the universe around him shine so bright when all he got was darkness inside? Thing is, he'd actually shine just as bright, but if he would've been able to see it, his eyes would've burned. Sam, on the other hand, was able if not to see it, to feel it. He knew Finn was worth everything.

And this time, right in front of his window, was different for Finn. He was not alone anymore, he was with the actual love of his life, hearing his movements behind, waiting for whatever he had on mind.  

It was just seconds later he started to hear the lyrics of that song they have sung each other many times before.

"I found a love, for me. Darling, just dive right in" Finn turned to face him, Sam was just a meter apart with one hand holding out "follow my lead" without any hesitation, Finn took it, with such a big stupid smile planted on his face and his heart pounding on his chest, following his boyfriend's lead, letting himself be swung by him. "I found a boy, beautiful and sweet".

"Oh, I never knew you were that someone waiting for me" Finn sang this time, his eyes shining so bright, they resembled a baby's eyes, so full of joy and love. Sam would never get tired of that face he gave him. Finn pulled Sam closer, not wanting to waste any other second far from him.

"'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was" they sang together this time, both just so amazingly lost in the song, drunk in the feeling, strayed in each other. Finn put his head in Sam's shoulder, once again and they began to slow dance. Sam's right hand was holding him by the back, while the other one was intertwined with Finn's left hand, their moves becoming more and more smooth with every second.

It felt like a dream, almost, slow dancing, with the moon so visible in the sky, that warm light hugging them, their shirtless bodies so up close and a little cliché song as background. They loved each other with so much intensity you could actually feel it in the air.

They danced to all the songs in the playlist, laughing constantly by the Disney songs that made them reenact the scenes, making silly faces and dance moves. 

"Hakuna Matata... What a wonderful phrase!" Sam recited in a high pitched tone, Finn couldn't help but roll his eyes, he was so done with that song. "Come on, you know you love it! It means no worries... For the rest of your days", Sam continued while starting to do so many stupid dances that got Finn laughing out loud, so sure that if his boyfriend kept going he was eventually going to fall. And it happened, Sam stumbled and fell on his knees, but couldn't even begin to care, he continued singing to the song.

Finn, on the other hand, was laughing at him, "You're such an idiot" he said but looking at him so fondly, feeling so amazed by how much he loved him, how much fun it was to be around him, how free he felt at moments like this. Sam looked at him still on his knees, smiling widely. He got up and quickly so closed to Finn "Oh, but I'm your idiot" he lamented jokingly as he pressed a soft kiss on Finn's lips, a short one, though. It was the kind of kiss Finn would never be satisfied with, so he cupped Sam's face, not letting their lips stay apart for more than a second, kissing him deeply but smiling through it. And, oh, every time they kissed felt like the fucking first time, Finn would feel a whole fucking zoo in his stomach; feel his heart pounding on his chest, pull Sam's hair and touch every part of his body. Again, to touch the reality of it all, to touch their love. He'd melt every time they kissed like this, needing Sam to hold him up, although they were both in the same bubble.

The world around them was fading away. Finn's hand in Sam's neck started going down and staying in his chest, right where he could feel his lover's heart beating. Meanwhile, Sam's hands were on Finn's waist, steadying him. It was so magical and powerful, every time they kissed they gave 'love' a whole new concept.

They continued dancing for so long, they lost track of time. Changing between slow and romantic songs to a little more energetic ones. Of course, Bowie had to be in the playlist, and whenever one of his songs started playing they would just do a whole performance of it, closing their eyes and singing loudly, as if they were on a concert with hundreds of fans singing along.

Some of the songs in it were from wtfock soundtrack, and to those ones, they would just chill, feeling so connected to them, to the story.

Dance Monkey started playing, making them break apart, stopping their slow dance from the song before and therefore, breaking their kiss. Both looked at each other, Finn's eyes were kind, warm but sleepy, while Sam's were loving but a little goofy, like he still had something in mind "They say dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh..." Sam sang and Finn made him spin on his place and then hugged him very tightly, holding him to never let go. It was just seconds later that Sam's intentions were revealed when he started tickling his boyfriend, wanting to hear his laugh one more time.

Finn tried to escape from it, laughing uncontrollably, walking backwards, trying to say whatever he could to get Sam to stop. But he wasn't going to stop, he kept going until Finn's feet hit the base of the bed, falling inevitably on it and with Sam falling right on top of him.

"Okay– okay!!" Finn tried to take Sam's hands off of him, his body shaking and his eyes shut, with tears starting to fall down from the pressure "Stop– my stomach is already starting to hurt!" he yelled one more time, choppy by the laugh taking over him, and Sam finally decided it was enough, he took his hand off of him and laid on his side, letting him catch his breath but laughing softly.

They stayed still, heavily breathing by the tiredness already hitting them, till the last seconds of the song they had forgotten about, the last one of the playlist. Finn landed his sleepy eyes on Sam's "Alright, I may be ready to sleep now" he said, with a tone ever so cute, so endearing and charming, looking at him with those baby eyes. Sam placed a hand on his face, holding him lightly, brushing his thumb tenderly on his cheek, giving him some eskimo kisses, too. "Yeah..." Sam took a deep breath and whispered "Me too".

"Let's go to sleep, engel" Finn chuckled and they quickly got under the covers, no cuddles yet, just facing each other just like before. Admiring each other's beauty, being so, so close and getting even more so, like magnets. They closed their eyes, but right before their lips met, Finn let out a sigh and murmured a soft "Thank you" as he stroked their noses and Sam opened his eyes to look at him.

"You don't have anything to thank me for, schat" Sam responded, cupping his face once again.

"No, I do, I just..." Finn opened his eyes, searching the right words to say "Thank you for making me feel this way... So loved and cared for. So... Safe" he said and felt those words in every part of his body, he really felt like that and needed Sam to understand the infinite love he had for him. He wanted to scream from the rooftops how madly in love he was with the boy just in front of him. He wanted to find a way to make Sam feel like he did every time they were together; wanted to find a way of really showing it to him. Because no matter how many times he said it, it always felt like it wasn't enough.

Sam smiled at him, so crazy over Finn's babyness and cuteness "You don't have to thank me for that" Finn opened his mouth to complain, but before he had a chance to do so Sam said "You don't" and raised Finn's chin with his index finger "Existing is everything you have to do to make me feel right" Finn couldn't do anything but melt and crash their lips together, putting his hand on his boyfriend's back and pushing him closer, kissing him so intensely.

They surrendered to the feeling. They kissed. They kissed as though nothing could fall. They kissed until they were too tired to even think.

But before they completely gave in to the darkness, Finn, slowly, as if he was tasting the words,  whispered "Ik hou van u" and searched for Sam's hand with his to interlock them. "Ik hou van u" Sam replied seconds after he pressed a small kiss on Finn's forehead "mijn kunstenaar" he said, lastly, with the words filled with adoration.

When they woke up, they were in exactly the same position. They woke up but stood so still, wanting to preserve that moment forever, feeling like time had stopped around them, feeling like the center of the universe, feeling so good. They could hear some birds singing outside and the relaxing way the other one breathed. They just knew how much they loved each other, felt it in their bodies... So much so, that they were sure they had to be together not only in this one, but in elk universum.

****

Fun facts?? i guess:

Sam is short for Samsíða which is Icelandic for 'parallel'. YES I KNOW IM CHEESY AF, but it just fitted so! well!

And yes, Finn, in this universe you have the clown tattoo I designed and that's on that, im sorry, i make the rules now.

[soundofseventeen]

Funhouse (Vocal Unit)

Happy Sunday my loves!!! Thrillers aren’t my forte but I hope this is good enough!!! See y’all tomorrow!!! It’s almost 2K words so I’m proud of that!! -Bee

“Good news Y/N,” Joshua said happily, rinsing the thermometer and putting it away, “Your temperature is normal, and there’s no sign of you catching a cold, so you should be good for the fun house tonight!”

“It’s not a fun house; it’s a death trap.”

“Oh come on! It’s gonna be fun!”

“Unless you know, die of fright,” Junhui teased and high fived Jeonghan. “Don’t get cold feet now. You wanted to be a badass, and now you’re suffering the consequences. Hey hyung, get a picture for me.” Jeonghan flicked a finger gun at him and shot him a wink as he left the room

“You're all assholes,” you grumbled. It wasn’t too late to fake a stomach ache or throw yourself in front of a car or something to get you out of the horror fest with the vocal unit. But it was their last outing before they were leaving for a meeting or something for the 31st and if you didn’t do it now, it was until next year. It was either that or apologize for the prank. “Can’t we do something else like going to carve pumpkins or go to a fair or stay home and watch scary movies?” You crossed your fingers in hopes they’d change their minds so you wouldn’t go.

“What’s the fun in that?” Jeonghan smirked at you. You were positive that he could read your mind in that moment because he just kept staring at you, daring you to make an excuse to get out of this. “Now if you’re done being a baby about this, we can get going and then you can thank us for bringing you back alive.”

You took the poster from the fridge, rereading the words and letting the dread wash over you. “You’re taking me to the middle of nowhere where these assholes actually chase you and y’all would actually leave me to die, so nope. No thank you.”

*

“We’re gonna die!” You yelled hysterically,

“Y/N, we haven’t even gotten down yet,” Jihoon sighed, poking his ear probably to make sure you didn’t make him lose his hearing. “And it’s not even bad. Look, there are people taking their kids inside...wait, there’s a petting zoo next to it.”

“We’re in the middle of a cornfield right smack in the middle of nowhere with only a bunch arrows leading the way in and out. And not to mention the scarecrow looking fuckers watching and waiting.” You shuddered at the thought. “It’s something outta a horror movie where no one makes it out alive.”

“And no one will find our bodies,”Jihoon added boredly.

You blanched at the thought and Seokmin patted your shoulder a little too roughly to show you his concern. “Don’t sweat it. We got you.”

“No offense DK, but you’re the reason I’m here.” You peeked out the window and saw multiple people covering their eyes as their friends and loved ones either took pictures or offered words of comfort. There was even someone hugging a baby as a coping mechanism of the aftermath. “You know what? You guys go ahead. I’ll stay in here and play with the Tamagotchi we found.”

Jeonghan unlocked the door and Seungkwan pushed you out. “No, you wanted to play, and that’s exactly what we’re doing.”

“Is it too late for that sorry…”

“YES!” Five voices sang at you before Joshua spoke. “Okay, now everyone pick your partner.” He dove for Jeonghan before he finished his sentence and Seokmin reached for Jihoon which left you with arguably the loudest and most dramatic person in not only the unit but probably the entire group and by the way he pouted at you, you knew he wasn’t happy about getting last pick either. “I can always hold your hand if you get scared Y/N,” Jeonghan winked at you.

“Jeonghan, I’d rather get stabbed by the maniac that’s gonna be after us than hold your hand.” You pushed him away, momentarily forgetting your fear. “That goes for all of you.”

“Boo!”

“AH!” You cowered into said Jeonghan who merely snickered at you. “ Very funny asshole. Move.” The boys paid for their tickets, listening to the guy giving warnings about how the intensity of the haunted house how there was gonna be chases, and critters scattering about; ghosts and people yelling and where the emergency exits were. Then he wished you good luck and pointed out where to start. You gulped.

*

Your hand involuntarily found Seungkwan’s and if he wasn’t just as afraid, he would’ve snorted and given you hell. But the problem was you were in Hell. It started off easily enough. I mean there was a severed head with part of its skull showing warning, “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here,” and then you touched something right after (not that you could remember what it was) and almost yelled when you saw fake blood but refused to break so quickly, but a little whimper escaped and when Seokmin laughed at you, you smeared it across his face and he seemed just as surprised to feel something sticky on his face.

Your first room y’all went to you were seeing a child facing the corners of a wall, scratching them and seeing the marks he left. He was begging that was gonna he good and that he learned his lesson. Then he turned around and saw he was crying blood crying out for his mommy and that left you with chills and you cursed yourself for not bringing a sweater. The little ghost looking girl in the white dress was the one who had you screaming. She literally ran up to you, and started pulling on you and asking you if you wanted to play. And you shook your head frantically and that seemed to anger her, so she called for someone, tattling on you that you didn’t wanna be her friend and out came a lady with her hair all over her face screeching at you, her arm extended and she had grabbed you by the collar too and of course you were already like, “NO NO NO DON’T TOUCH ME.” and bolted out of there, forgetting about the boys and her screaming after you that you were gonna pay.

The next room had a surgeon doing an incision on a rabid dog who leapt off the table and jumped on Joshua who screamed and it triggered you so you yelled and fell on the floor, which made the dog forget about him and instead went to you. You tried to get up but the floor was too slippery so you couldn’t and your next option was to back away into the table which made him growl. This surprised the surgeon who noticed your presence and he grabbed you also by the collar and gave you a creepy grin sans teeth, muttering about how he could use you for his next experiment and the thunder clapping behind him as he cackled maniacally. As scared as everyone was, you’ve yet had to hear the boys, with the exception of Seungkwan who apologizing to his mother out loud and Seokmin who was on the phone telling Soonyoung he loved him. Joshua funnily enough had the dropping curse words response every time he jumped out of his skin; Jihoon was ready to throw hands and Jeonghan simply froze.

The next few places consisted of zombie looking people being chained to an inanimate object and reaching for everyone with a pulse; children running back and forth singing their nursery rhymes and flinging food at you; feeling various pets running across your feet and feeling like someone was watching you. (This thought didn’t help in knowing you were gonna be on your own for Halloween.) At one point you had gone to wash your face in the bathroom (where it actually reeked) to steady your heartbeat, when you figured that you pushed a button or moved something that set off something and when you looked at your reflection, you could see a hanging body with the hand trying to grab you and you running outside, only to run smack into DK. You babbled at them at what you saw and when they peered inside, they didn’t see anything and they proceeded to laugh at you until you repeated your movements and then it was their turn to scream when they saw the body. Seungkwan nearly gave you a heart attack with his screaming because it fell on him first.

“Just one more room and then we’re home free,” Joshua mumbled loudly enough for your group to hear. Unfortunately for you, it was the kitchen and you’ve seen far too many scary movies to know how that turned out. You let everyone else go first, hiding behind Seungkwan in case something popped out, it’d go for anyone else.

You were still in the hallway when you saw the dim lighting in the kitchen, and you heard the flies buzzing around. There was someone hunched over the sink, scrubbing away furiously at whatever was in their hand and muttering something you couldn’t hear but it was enough to spook you. He turned around without warning, and you saw he had dropped a knife on the floor, letting it clatter. “So,” he said in a raspy voice. “You like trespassin’, don’t ya?” He rhymically stomped on the floor. “Ya want me to show ya what happens when city folk like you go around entering people’s houses like ya own the place?” He whistled. “Get ‘em ya stupid boy. Don’t just stand there.” And just like that, a door opened and out came running another fella wielding a chainsaw. And. Running. Towards. You. The guys ran to the open door without thinking and you were right behind them until you tripped over a chair and fell. The guy with the chainsaw used that as an opportunity to grab you by the foot and drag you away from safety. You cried, screamed, begged for someone to help you but to no avail. He was about to drag you through the hidden door when you used all your strength on the leg he was holding to kick as hard as you could. He let you go after that and you got up as fast as you could, running towards the kitchen again. The guy who was washing the knife was blocking the entryway.

“Where do you think yer headed Pretty?” You screamed at that and pushed him as hard as you could, finally at the doorstep of safety and hearing him scolding the chainsaw guy for letting you get away. You saw the relieved look of the vocal unit, beckoning you to join them. You were almost out the door when you felt someone grab you from behind and pulled you back in. You jabbed them, and ran out, not looking to see who it was.

You caught your breath, the adrenaline not leaving you yet, but you felt as though you lived a hundred lives.

You screamed at first when you felt someone hugging you but you remembered everything in that house was make believe. “You assholes! You left me there.”

“What else could we do Y/N?! He grabbed you by your foot!!!” Seungkwan shot back. “Are you okay though? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“That was the longest night of my life. Please, let’s never do that again.”

“Agreed.”

“Shall we go once more?”

“No!”

“Fine, fine. Let’s go home.”

You took one look at the haunted house shaking slightly when you saw the dude who grabbed your ankle waving at you calmly through the window. He was holding a sign that read, “I’ll find you.” in a bloody scrawl. You shuddered.

“Christ,” Joshua mumbled, “they don’t fuck around here do they?”

You shook your head and turned around again. He was gone.

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Little Boy Lost- Ch 2

Summary: Sirius Black has made a troubling habit of sneaking out, exploring Muggle London, and turning his father’s hair gray early.

Or: Five times Orion Black finds Sirius in Muggle London through the years (And one time he doesn’t). (ao3)  

In this chapter: Eleven-year-old Sirius is granted a small bit of freedom prior to his first year at Hogwarts and promptly uses it to get into trouble. Good thing Orion is close by to bail him out, even if he is unrepentant.

(Ch1) (Ch 3) (Ch 4) (Ch 5) (Ch 6)

II. Mugged and Numbered

Ditching his parents at Diagon Alley was easier than it really should have been, if Sirius were giving them proper credit due. But all he’d done was tell them he wanted to look at broomsticks and the pet shop for a little bit while they finished up the rest of their errands.

“Please,” he begged when his mother’s eyes narrowed.

“You already have an owl and a broomstick,” she reminded him.

“And first years aren’t even allowed a broomstick,” Reggie piped in. He’d, of course, read Sirius’ letter studiously.

“Yes thanks, Reg,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Turning his appeal to his father he said, “You’re about to let me go to Hogwarts by myself!”

Orion stared down at him, impassive, evaluating, and Sirius stared back, though he couldn’t quite help fidgeting a little in impatience. Finally, his father nodded, just once, said curtly, “We’ll return in 30 minutes,” and swept off his still-protesting wife and remaining son.

Momentarily stunned by this show of trust, Sirius watched them retreat, to be sure his parents had meant it, and then set about doing exactly the sort of thing that would break that trust. He turned away from Magical Menagerie, walked straight past Quality Quidditch Supplies, and slipped back into the Leaky Cauldron, then out into Muggle London.

He had thirty glorious minutes away from his parents’ rules and standards of Good Behavior, away from shopkeeps who grovelled around them, away from anything proper and boring. Muggle London pulsed with adventure. He’d spent the past four years since his first excursion refining his process of slipping away, finding different places to explore, and, he was sure, he’d only just scratched the surface. He was old enough now, too, that people didn’t seem to mind if he didn’t have parents with him, at least for a little bit.

He generally knew where he was going, managing to keep the London map in his head, but there were a few times when he had to, without a map directly in front of him, circle around and reroute. He had a vague idea he might visit the London Zoo, though thirty minutes wasn’t much time allotted for that, and decided instead to pop into a candy store. In a spontaneous moment of generosity, he even thought he might buy some candy to sneak to Regulus. Reggie loved sweets almost more than pleasing their parents, and if Sirius brought him good ones, he was sure to keep where Sirius had gotten them from a secret.

He spent a while picking out different chocolates and taffies before carrying them over to the counter. The salesgirl looked up from her magazine, annoyed he’d interrupted her to actually do her job, and looked him up and down, pulling a face, before ringing the items up.

She told him the total, a number that confused Sirius. He slammed what seemed about the right amount on the counter, a few Galleons Uncle Alphard had given him as a present for starting school in the fall. Uncle Alphard was always looking for excuses to give him and Reggie money. It drove Mother mad.

The salesgirl stared down at the gold. “This some kinda joke?” She asked him, suspiciously.

Sirius shook his head vigorously. “No, Miss,” he said, remembering his manners to give her a charming smile.

“This isn’t money,” she said and, unmoved, pushed the coins back at him.

“It’s real gold,” he insisted. He gave her a haughty look, the one his mother would have used at any impertinent salesclerk who refused to give her her way. “You’ll take it. I’m paying for my goods.”

She actually laughed at him, a mean laugh, and pointed to the door. “Get out of here.”

“No,” Sirius said. “I want to buy—“

“I’ll call the police,” she threatened.

Scowling, he gathered up his Galleons. “I won’t be returning,” he told her primly, and marched out, her laughter following.

He checked his watch and gasped. His thirty minutes were almost up, and he wasn’t even close to the Leaky Cauldron. He’d wasted too much time trying to argue with that dumb girl. Scowl still etched on his face, he took off running towards Charing Cross.

He slowed a few blocks away, panting, and it was only then he noticed the man following him. He’d been in a car, but now got out and trailed Sirius at a distance, acting as though he was preoccupied with other matters.

Sirius could see the Leaky Cauldron now, but as he glanced over his shoulder to see if the man was still following him (he was), he bumped into another man. Sirius started to fix him with a haughty look and say “Excuse me,” but the man gripped his arms and manhandled him down an alley.

It was daylight, but somehow no one had seen to intervene. In the alley, there were three other men, and then the first one followed up behind Sirius and the man who had grabbed him. Sirius surveyed them, doing his best to look down his nose at them. After all, they were only Muggles and he was a wizard; what was more, he was a Black and that, apparently, meant something.

“What do you want?” he demanded, and the men jeered at him.

“Look at him, thinks he’s in charge,” a heavy set one to Sirius’ right laughed.

“The gold, boy,” the man who’d been trailing him said. “I saw you with it. Where’d you get it?”

“Treasure hunt,” Sirius said recklessly, thinking of his Galleons and the girl's reaction to them. Did Muggles not have the same money? He'd been coming for years to London without ever really having considered that.

He could feel adrenaline pumping through his veins and smiled, remembering a pictured story he'd flipped through in the Muggle library when he'd snuck down the year before. He added, “Ran into pirates a few weeks back, you know how it goes.”

The man holding him shook him, swearing at his insolence, but a moment later, he yelped and dropped his hold like he’d been shocked. Sirius tried to back away, back to the street, but the man who'd tailed him shoved him back to the middle of the circle.

“Smart guy, huh?” The one Sirius had shocked snarled, and someone asked from behind if they were sure the gold was real.

"It is," the first man assured them. "I saw it myself. Here," he added menacingly, "I'll show you."

The group closed in, but before anything could happen, a voice from behind said, “Let the boy go.”

Sirius felt a surge of something as his father approached. It wasn’t exactly relief, maybe a little annoyance. Father was always ruining his fun. He stood up straighter, though, feeling confident, as Orion pushed his way through the two men behind him to put a hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t a comforting grip, but possessive and tight. His fingers dug into Sirius’ skin so hard he'd probably leave a bruise.

One of the men stepped forward, waving a knife he held. Never losing grip on his shoulder, Sirius felt his father move behind him and, by the way the man suddenly flew back knife clattering a safe distance away, knew his father had flicked his wand. Sirius thought of his own, new one, bought today and bundled away for Kreacher to take home, and wished he had it with him.

It wasn’t necessary, though. The man with the knife scrambled back to his feet and fled past Sirius and Orion. Orion turned his cold gaze to the others, each in turn, until every one hastily retreated.

“Didn’t cause no harm,” one muttered as he passed.

When they were all gone, Orion, grip still firm on Sirius’ shoulder, shoved him none-too-gently ahead of him back out of the alley.

“Ow, Dad!” Sirius protested, stumbling.

“You deliberately disobeyed me,” Orion hissed, voice compressed with fury.

“I was just trying to have some fun,” Sirius said.

Orion snorted. “And you don’t feel an ounce of shame about it, do you, boy? If I hadn’t come along—,”

“I was handling myself fine!” Sirius interrupted, indignant.

“Oh yes, talking about pirates and nonsense. What were you going to do, fight off five grown men?”

“Maybe,” Sirius said sulkily. “They were only Muggles.”

“And you are an untrained child!” Orion spat at him. He came to a halt and his grip pulled Sirius back. Spinning the boy around, he leaned over to glare directly into his eyes. “Is this fun for you, then? Running off, getting cornered by men who would’ve killed you without a second thought and robbed your corpse?”

Sirius shrugged a little uncomfortably under his father’s hands and gaze. “A little,” he said honestly. “It’s exciting.”

Orion drew in a sharp breath. After a moment, he straightened, his gaze cool and impassive again, but Sirius had seen something flicker in his eyes. He didn’t know or understand what.

When they started off again, Orion stayed in step with Sirius, grip still firm on his shoulder. As they approached the Leaky Cauldron, Orion spoke once more.

“I trusted you today, Sirius, and you broke that trust,” he said sternly. “How am I supposed to trust you to behave yourself away at Hogwarts when I can’t even allow you to be on your own in Diagon Alley for a mere half hour?”

It was Sirius’ turn to halt, staring up at his father in horror as the implication of what he had said set in. “Father, no,” he gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

“I could,” Orion said severely, watching his son’s face drain of color. “And I reserve that right, at any point in this year, to pull you out and drag you home. Do I make myself clear?”

Color returned to Sirius’ face, and he grinned when he said, “Perfectly.”

“Sir,” Orion corrected, a little unsettled by the boy’s abrupt mood lift.

“Yes, that,” Sirius said absently.

Under his hand, Sirius began to walk again, and Orion followed, brow furrowing, feeling a little confused. Orion has thought Sirius would take his threat far more poorly than he had. It was almost as if he hadn’t punished the boy at all.

He didn’t release his son until he could do so into his mother’s own vice like grip. She grabbed his arm and tugged him ahead, scolding him furiously. Regulus fell into step with Orion, little hand reaching out to grip the sleeve of his robe, but he didn’t notice, stuck in his thoughts of Sirius.

Hogwarts would be good for the boy. He was exceptionally bright, had far outpaced his tutors, and that was, he supposed, why Sirius was often bored. New, more challenging classes would keep him occupied and his tendency to look for fun (and find trouble instead) at bay.

“Papa?” Regulus said, tugging on his sleeve. Orion, startled looked around and then down at his younger son, who was chewing his bottom lip, an unsightly nervous habit, as he waited for his father to answer him.

“Yes?”

“Papa, is Sirius in much trouble?” Of course Regulus would work himself into a state of anxiety over his brother's stupidity and concern that anyone in the family might be arguing.

Orion sighed wearily. “I think, Regulus, that Sirius is trouble.”

Still, Orion decided as Regulus giggled, cheered up, he would send an owl to old Slughorn—a bit of a warning, really—and request he keep a special eye on his newest Slytherin this coming year.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Gag Order (Barisi)

Summary: Sonny doesn’t understand why no one else gets why he did what he did [Sequel to “It’s Not too Late” but can be read as stand alone]

WC: 2336

Read on AO3

They’ve given Sonny gloves, thick black insulators that make his palms damp because despite what they think, he’s still human and still can’t keep too high a body temperature. He’s not made of fire. They’re cautious in their keeping of him in their neat, secure facility with a cold bed and bars on his thick plexiglass windows. Caged for their comfort like an oddity in a zoo rather than a person, pointed at as he paces with his hands cuffed carefully behind his back so he can’t remove the stifling gloves. They’re afraid of him. And they should be. Given the opportunity, he’d run and do it all over again. Cowards. Too afraid of change to their broken society. Whether they like it or not, he has only started a revolution. Let them imprison him, experiment on him. He’s said his piece and more people will rise up as he has against the world.

The thing about the brass is that they don’t know what it’s like on the streets. Hungry and thirsty children with wanting eyes and wide mouths. Bodies that were shells even before death strewn over sidewalks and dumpsters. The city’s hands are bloody but with a fresh start, maybe it can survive. Life, pure life, finds a way like the weeds in pavement cracks. Rafael used to complain about them, but Sonny’s always found their resilience to be beautiful. Like people, like roaches, they’re hard to remove and impossible to eliminate. Evolution has made something wondrous, something that survives despite efforts to destroy the few pretty things left in life.

“When did you call a lawyer?” a guard asks, peering into Sonny’s cell with keys in hand, searching and searching for the right one.

“I didn’t.”

A firm grip on his arm drags him from the four walls that he’s considered home for the past indeterminate length of time. He has no clock, nothing to count days with. If it weren’t for the occasional chatter of the guards to each other about their lives, he thinks he’d go crazy. Isolation has never been something he handled well. Down the hallway past death row inmates, he’s brought to a room empty save for a table and two chairs, at one of which sits a hunched over figure. Sonny knows that salt and pepper hair, the languid swish of that handwriting, that scowl, those piercing pale green eyes.

“Uncuff my client,” Rafael says coldly.

The guard scrambles to obey because something in Rafael’s tone leaves no room for argument. When his hands are free, Sonny stretches his arms immediately, moaning at the release of forced tension. He takes his gloves off too, throwing them down on the table. Red welts from too tight metal for too long throb in the open air, but he keeps the pain off his face to the best of his abilities. Rafael gestures for him to sit and orders the guard out, leaving them alone. Face to face like adversaries despite the fact that they had once been in love. It’s Rafael’s face that he used to wake up to every morning with a grin. Things had been so good. He doesn’t understand why it had to end.

“I brought you something.”

Rafael produces Sonny’s favorite hoodie and sets it between them like a peace offering. Up on that roof, before Rafael let them arrest him and steal the one thing he had left, it had been a security blanket. Full of memories of their shared apartment, being loved and cherished and wanted. When he first bought it, he knew it would become his first friend after a particularly long day at work. That Rafael not only remembered it but brought it to him makes him hate his once-lover who gave him up to the police a little less. Rafael is hard not to love. And he hates that, hates not being able to calm his racing heart. It isn’t fair that he has to feel like this when Rafael clearly doesn’t want to be the same ever again. He isn’t allowed late night kisses before bed or stolen glances in court anymore. All of that is gone.

He picks up the hoodie anyways and slips it on over his starchy standard-issue shirt. Its softness and familiarity have been missed. Something so small has made a world of difference but all he can do is nod in thanks. Funny, he used to be the one with all the words but now he has none. Rafael no longer smiles speechlessly at every affectionate moment, shy kisses over breakfast, neat brushes of lips on their way out the door. He misses those moments most of all. In the silence, he wraps himself in the old warmth memories drip over his head like the hot showers he hasn’t been allowed to take since his arrest. They’re too afraid of letting him near anything warm, lest he use it to destroy their prison like he did Manhattan. This place too, is dirty beyond repair. He’d like to fix it, starting by leveling those who’ve been placed here because of their unspeakable crimes.

“You told them you’re my lawyer?”

“I am. Even you get due process, Sonny.”

Looking up at him, Sonny feels the pain from the confrontation. Rafael had called him sweetheart and held him, like everything would be okay. Then he betrayed him in the blink of an eye without an ounce of remorse on his penciled face. “Even me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You murdered thousands of innocent people.”

“No one is innocent, you know that better than anyone. And it’s worth it. We have to start from scratch.”

Rafael leans back in his chair and studies Sonny with his analytical eyes. He used to look at perps like this, trying to figure them out and get under their skin. It’s his way of learning how to win, because he hates to lose. Whether it’s court or a ‘friendly’ game of scrabble, he likes to win. He likes to be right. This is just an elaborate game of chess to him, it has to be. Personal investment is out of the question when Rafael has taken his cold and callous exterior and turned it to Sonny, using it against him like he hasn’t since before they got together. What a happy night that had been, sharing a bottle of wine and Rafael using an uncharacteristically tiny voice to ask if they could turn several shared nights into a relationship. They hadn’t known how much that would destroy them both. Rafael’s kisses have always been warm, just like the rest of him. Cuban blood, Rafael had joked once, when the winter was chilly and despite his own protests, his skin had been the only thing capable of thawing Sonny’s icy exterior. With his hands the sole source of heat, he struggles to keep the rest of him from shivering.

“So you are crazy, then.”

“I thought you were on my side,” Sonny says. “You told me I’m not a monster. You told me I’m a good man. And you’re here to represent me. Doesn’t that mean you’re supposed to believe me? Or did that die when you left me?”

The look on Rafael’s face is pained when he answers, “I just don’t know anymore.”

Over the table, they stare each other down, statue to statue with frigid gazes. Inside, they’re both human, although the exact percentage is something Sonny debates often with the wall of his cell. Humans, or at the very least, normal people, don’t bleed fire from the pores in the palms of their hands. Rafael is human, though. It shows in his aging with every passing second and the way he gave Sonny up when they had the option to start over. He had given Rafael a choice, something that the dignity of which had never even been considered something to give to him. Nothing is fair anymore, hasn’t been since the morning Rafael was selfish in the hospital and then salted the wound while opening a new one. He abandoned him. Left him alone in the world like he always has been and this time it was just too fucking much. He’s tired of being treated as disposable.

“Are you here for the police again? Make me confess to you or something?”

“Even if I was, it wouldn’t be admissible because you’re under the impression that we currently have attorney/client privilege. You passed the bar, Sonny, you know that.”

He isn’t sure he knows anything anymore, if he’s honest. Trying to save the world, the same thing he’s always done, has suddenly made him a criminal comparable with the monsters he’s used to taking off the streets. Back when he and Rafael were a team, putting them away together and knowing that Manhattan- the world- was a better place for it. Many late nights were spent poring over notes and case law together with Sonny’s legs tucked under himself and his head resting comfortably on Rafael’s shoulder. Bad guys would go away, and hopefully by the time they reemerge, if they ever do, they’re incapable of hurting anyone else ever again. That’s the goal. Make the streets somewhere safe for Sonny’s nieces, and one day his kids because he’s always wanted to be a father. Rafael didn’t, he said that he works too much, he’s terrible with kids, they can’t afford it. In truth, Sonny thinks that it’s because he’s petrified of becoming his father. It’s stupid because although he hides it well, Rafael is a sweet man who makes a point to shut the door softly when he’s mad. When he comes home, he takes off his shoes and his coat. He smiles in the sunshine. The truth is that he’s a nice man, a good man, and he would’ve been a good father if he wasn’t so ruined by his worst fear.

“I don’t know much of anything anymore. Especially not about you.”

“You aren’t being fair.”      

The look he shoots Rafael says it all. They got good at that after a while, saying everything they needed to in a split second without a single word passing their lips. It was useful for conversations held over the table in the squadroom, or when Sonny needed Rafael to see the same opening in court that he did. Now it’s just a fragile reminder of all that they used to have and be. Why can’t Rafael understand? The world needs fixing. It has to be changed and reshaped and cleansed.

Waiting for more words to pass between them, he starts drumming his fingers on the cold tabletop like it’ll tell him what to do or say. On instinct more than anything, flames start to flicker in his palms, warming the cold air but not the frigid atmosphere that lingers between them. The last time they were this unfamiliar were the early days of their then friendship, still getting to know each other and figuring out what they would become. Sonny remembers those days, sitting on Rafael’s desk and calling him counselor, trying not to blush like a schoolgirl, and thinking that he would never have a chance. He did have one, and he blew it. He always does that. Things will be going great, then he fucks it up because he can’t leave well-enough alone. Long past are tentative kisses on the doorstep and unsure hands beneath shirts in the dark. He doesn’t miss the arguments, but he misses when things were good. Rafael was the yin to his yang, the calm to his storm. Now they’re little more than adversaries staring each other down over the visiting room table of a maximum security prison eager to keep him imprisoned and away from the public eye. Vanishing is more convenient for the government, because it offers him no escape, no way out, nothing but a lifetime of incarceration and eventually death. Maybe they’ll off him sooner rather than later, save the judicial system some money caring for what they barely regard as a human person.

“I’m not being fair? You tricked me, Raf. You didn’t want to help me, you just wanted to help them catch me.”

“That’s not true. If I didn’t get you to relax, they would have taken you in by force. I’m here to help you, get you a plea deal so that you don’t spend the rest of your life between four heavy duty concrete walls.” Rafael plays with his pen the way he does when he’s thinking. “Your best bet is probably an insanity plea. You’re delusional, you thought you were doing the right thing, you didn’t know you were in the wrong. You’ll probably be locked up with the criminally insane, but it’s a lot better than here.”

Sonny lifts his hand from the table and studies the fire in it. “I’m not crazy. I’m a visionary.”

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life in prison?”

“No.”

“Then you plead insanity.”

His next moves are instinct. To defend himself, his mission, the city, he has to eliminate all obstacles, even if that includes his defense attorney and former lover. He’s just so angry, and it fills him with the urge to make it all go away. The world needs to start over. He’s doing this for the good of everyone else, not himself. It’s all the innocent people that he has to save. He repeats to himself that he’s doing it for them when he lunges over the table. His hoodie hangs loose around him as his hands turn the skin of every part of Rafael he touches to an angry pink. All he can hear is the sound of blood rushing in his ears, watching the warm colors of his fire and Rafael’s burns get more saturated until his arms are wrenched behind his back and he’s dragged away. Cuffs return to his hands and as he’s taken away, he sees Rafael start to cry.

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[justanoutlawfic]

A Deal With The Devil: 4/4

So, funny story. I mixed up what group I thought I was in the third round and wrote a whole one shot around it. Went to go submit it and realized my error, but I feel it’s a good chapter nonetheless, so here’s a little bonus one of Lacey and Bruce’s first date.

Prompts: zoo, flu, blue; a compliment; why not?

“Can I come with you tonight?”

Bruce paused tying his tie to look down at his son. “I’m afraid not, son.”

“Why not? I want to go to the zoo.”

“The zoo? I’m not going to the zoo.”

“Yes you are. I heard you telling Mary Margaret that you’re going to see deaf leopards.”

Bruce blinked a few times, doing his best not to laugh. Sometimes Bae seemed wise beyond his years, others he was reminded just how young he really was. Looking back, it was an assumption that most kids would jump to and if Bruce was being honest, he almost wished he was taking Lacey to the zoo. He wasn’t a huge fan of rock (he was much more a classical man), but it was her favorite band and it was their first date, if one could call it that. They weren’t going for the car anymore, it was just to have some fun.

Truth be told, as long as he was her, he’d have the time of his life. Even if he’d have a migraine for the next few days as a result.

“I’m not going to see deaf leopards,” Bruce explained. “I’m going to see Def Leppard, it’s a band.”

“Oh.” Bae’s face scrunched up. “That’s a silly name.”

“I agree, but they’re Miss French’s favorite.”

“I like Miss French, she’s very pretty.”

Bruce cleared his throat and straightened his tie. “Indeed.”

He had his eye on Lacey ever since she came back to town from college. He had recently moved to Storybrooke after his divorce and was just trying to start over. She was beautiful, had a great laugh. Yet, he knew his bounds. He was a divorced man, nearing 40. There was no way that a 20-year-old would want anything to do with him. Besides, Lacey spent most of her time working or in and out of bars. He wasn’t one to judge, but that wasn’t quite the lifestyle he wanted to lead. He hated crowds, it was why he was dreading the concert.

Milah had loved concerts, shows, the like. Part of their divorce had been due to his panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety. She had found someone who could keep up with her pace and made it clear how much happier she was with him. Bruce didn’t feel inferior to Killian in the slightest, but it made him worry about Lacey.

He wouldn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t, but a part of relationships were compromise and if theirs had a chance of even starting, he had to. That all started with this concert. The way Lacey’s eyes lit up as soon as he showed her the tickets proved he had made the right choice.

After dropping Bae off at the Nolans, he drove over to Lacey’s. Gripping his cane, he made his way up the path and knocked on the door. He was quite surprised to find not Lacey or Moe on the other side of the door, but someone he hadn’t seen before. She looked about Lacey’s age, auburn hair and sparkling green eyes. She smirked upon seeing him, shaking her head.

“Lace, your date is here!”

“And you are?”

“Aurora French, Lacey’s twin. She didn’t tell you about me?”

“We just met. I was aware Moe had two daughters, I just never see you around town.”

“I try to stay as far away from Storybrooke as possible but when I heard Lacey had a date, a real date-not just screwing Keith-I knew I had to come help her.”

“Geez, Ror, you make me sound like a shut in.”

Bruce looked up and saw Lacey coming down the stairs. He had to do his best to not let his mouth drop open. He was used to seeing her in all black or deep reds. That night, however, she was wearing a skin tight blue dress that showed off every curve. It was the same color as her eyes and complimented her very well.

“Excuse my sister, I know this isn’t really a date…” Lacey said, clearly oblivious to his staring. “It’s…complicated.”

“You’re beautiful.” The words escaped his mouth before he could help it and she cocked an eyebrow. “I mean…the dress…it’s quite beautiful. It matches your eyes.”

Lacey grinned. “Thank you.”

“Have fun, you crazy kids,” Aurora said. “Do things that I definitely wouldn’t do.”

“Goodbye Aurora.” Lacey slid her feet in some high heels and they walked out the door. “Sorry. She means well…she’s just…too excited. I can’t wait for her girlfriend to get back from China, then she’ll stop focusing on me.”

“It’s nice to have someone care for you,” Bruce replied, opening the door to his car and watching her get in. He went around to his side, pulling out of the driveway. “To be quite honest, I didn’t have that again until my son came back to live with me. He selected my tie.”

Lacey took it in, smiling. “It’s nice, though I think you may be the only one at the concert with one.”

“The clothes make the man, I think my son is learning that at a young age.” He cleared his throat, hoping he wasn’t sounding too stuck up. “He actually thought we were going to the zoo, he heard me talking about the band name and…”

She burst out laughing and it was perhaps the sweetest sound he had ever heard. “I’ve only met your son once, but he is officially my new favorite person.”

That fueled Bruce’s ability to keep it together as they drove to the concert. They slowly got to know one another, though they definitely didn’t share too much. It wasn’t long until they pulled up to the arena and went through the turnstile. Bruce was doing well in the beginning as they slid into their seats. There were a lot of people, but it didn’t seem to be too bad. If anything, he could blame his leg when he needed a breather to sit it out.

Then the concert started. It was loud, much louder than he had expected. He had listened to their music to get him ready, but quickly realized his sound system was nothing compared to the professional amps provided. His face grew pale as the people got closer together, shouting and singing along with the lyrics. Lacey was having the time of her life clearly and he felt terrible. Knowing better than to disturb her, he made his way out of his seat (glad he had claimed the aisle) and headed for the aisle.

It didn’t take long for Lacey to figure that Gold was gone and at first, she figured he had snuck off to the bathroom. After a few more songs, she got worried and decided to go looking for him. She headed into the men’s room, silently cursing how they never seemed to have the lines that the women’s did, and found his cane behind one of the stalls. She could see his knees bent on the floor and for a moment, worried he had the stomach flu. Then, she heard his rapid breathing. He wasn’t sick, he was having a panic attack.

Suddenly, she felt like a huge idiot. Crowds weren’t easy for everyone and she hadn’t even asked him how he felt about them. They were fine for her, yet she had her own experience with panic attacks after her mother died. Sometimes, it was best to just be left alone.

Bruce got his way through the attack and pulled himself back up to his feet. Splashing some cold water in his face, he let out a few shallow breaths. The concert couldn’t last much longer, he’d get through it. When he made his way out, he was surprised to find Lacey standing there.

“Lacey…”

“It’s getting a little hot in there,” she interrupted. “The concert’s almost over, do you mind if we ditch and just go get something to eat? There’s this quiet diner about 5 minutes away. It’s no Granny’s, but the burgers are really good.”

He wanted to protest at first, clearly she had figured out what was going on. Then, he saw the genuine light in her eyes. Milah would’ve been annoyed, pissed. Lacey, actually cared. She wasn’t asking any questions, she was giving him the necessary space. Still, she was helping all the same.

“That sounds like a great idea,” he said. “Maybe I can play you some real music in the car.”

“Hey! Rock is real music.”

“It’s loud.”

Lacey playfully rolled her eyes and slipped her arm through his. “Let’s see what you’re a fan of, Mr. Gold.”

A smirk fell across his lips. “As you wish, Miss French.”

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[lokischocolatefountain]

An Act of Political Sacrifice

Part: (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Fandom: Hamilton (Modern AU)

Pairing: Alex x Eliza

Rating: PG for swearing

Word count: 3.2k words

Warning: Historical inaccuracies for the sake of convenience, Philip is a baby, adultery, angst, inappropriate language, therapy, infidelity, really angsty

Summary: Elizabeth Hamilton, with a wonderful career, loving husband, and a child, is satisfied in life. How does she handle it when her husband who could never be satisfied pulls the rug out from under her, destroying everything she held close to her heart?

Alexander Hamilton hadn't heard his wife's voice since the last time she was in their apartment over two months ago. Any conversation between them occurred only when there was a change of plans in picking up Philip from his daycare, and they took place only via text messages. Nothing more, nothing less. So, when the man heard the ringtone he had assigned only to her, he was afraid that it was bad news. Was Eliza alright? 

"Eliza?" he spoke into his phone. 

"Shit! Sorry, I- I don't know what I was thinking," she sounded nasal like she had a cold or was crying. He knew it was the latter, but he wished it was the former. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, getting off his bed and putting on his glasses. 

"I don't know," she said through sniffles. 

"Shall I come over?" Alex didn't bother waiting for her to reply as he grabbed his keys on his way to the front door, while still in his pajamas. 

When Eliza said, "If you're free, please?", the man was already in his car. 

"Be there in ten."

Eliza had moved temporarily into an empty apartment owned by her family as she didn't feel very comfortable surrounded by all the pity and advice from visiting relatives. Her father tried reasoning with her over concerns for her safety, but she was adamant in her decision as always. 

When he reached Eliza's new residence, she was picking up Philip's scattered toys off the floor and throwing them in a large white basket. He said nothing as he helped her with the remaining toys. When he shrieked as he stepped over a piece of lego, he caught the corners of her lips turn slightly upward in amusement. 

"Why does he even have legos?" They had agreed to get him legos for his third birthday, which was only a month away. 

"Well, the two Philips had gone out for grandfather- grandson bonding time and came back with everything they could fit inside the car," she chuckled, throwing in the last piece in the box that Alexander had handed her. 

"He spoils the kid too much," he said, wishing for a second that his father had gotten to know Philip, but rolling his eyes internally when he recalled that the man couldn't be bothered to attend his wedding. 

"Tell me about it," she said, stowing away the box in a mostly empty shelf. He followed her into the kitchen like a new puppy while she talked about her father's bond with their son. 

"It's eleven, and you're having dinner now?" he asked as she helped herself to some pasta. She always ate on time and made sure he did too, being the overly health conscious person she was. 

"I wasn't in the mood. You want some? I wasn't paying attention and made the usual quantity." 

They sat on the couch as they ate together in silence. He was thankful she made more for three reasons: he didn't have dinner, he missed how tasty her dishes were, and mostly because she said she cooked for him as well out of practice. It gave him hope. 

"I was sleepy and made coffee for you yesterday morning," he confessed. When he realized what he had done, he threw the contents down the sink, annoyed with himself, and left for work as quick as possible. She paused playing with her fork and looked up from her plate. 

"Philip knows something's going on," she sighed, putting down the fork. 

"What? How?" 

"Kids know such things, they're not stupid. We don't go out on the weekends anymore, dad or mom are here everyday to check on us, he lives in two separate houses on alternate days, he doesn't see the two of us together," she threw her hands up in the air in frustration and brought them back to the table with a thud. 

"He asked me why we were fighting when I was reading a story to him before bed and I didn't know what to say. I just told him to sleep. God, I'm such a bad mother." She rested her elbows on the table and buried her face in her palms. Alex hurried to her side and she hugged him while he caressed her hair. 

"I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm doing and I can't even talk to anyone because I feel so ashamed. Karen- you know, that asshole Karen- she was suddenly too friendly with mum, inviting herself over and shit. One day, she just brought her son over and began ranting about how much better my life would've been if I married him." 

"Who, John?" He released her from the hug and went back to his chair, recalling Eliza mentioning how the woman was pestering her parents to have her married to her son. She even dated the creature for a month before dumping him just so that she could get the woman off her case. Alex hated him and made it a habit to address him by the wrong name whenever they met at social gatherings. 

"It's Jeff," she pointed out, rolling her eyes. 

"Same thing, Eliza." 

She shook her head in disbelief and continued, "That's not the point. I just couldn't be there. I felt like a burden to mom and dad because they defend me against those people." 

"I'm sure they don't consider you a burden." Alex took her hand in hers and entwined his fingers with hers, just like he always did when she needed comfort.

"I know, but still. They all act so weird around me, or I was just overanalysing everything. Either way, I wasn't very comfortable there." 

They ate in silence and settled on the couch once they were done and watched Toy Story 3 for what felt like the hundredth time. The clock was ticking and he was drowsy. He knew he had to leave and get some sleep if he wanted to be functional the next day, but the way her fingers unconsciously played with his made him want to be there forever. He didn't even make a noise, afraid that she might stop if she realized what she was doing. 

"How have you been?" she asked, seemingly out of nowhere. She looked up from his shoulder with her beautiful round eyes, and god damn they looked so beautiful in the dim light of the television. 

"I'm okay," he answered, halfheartedly. He didn't know whether to pour out his heart to her or pretend everything was okay. All he knew was that he didn't want an argument. 

"Hercules doesn't think so." 

"When did you talk to him?" He should ask Mulligan to shut his mouth and not go around annoying wife about him. She probably didn't want to hear it anyway.

"Does it matter?" 

"I just don't want to whine to you about the problem I created for myself, especially when it hurt you the most," Alex confessed as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. 

"You shouldn't bottle it all up, it's not good," she said, giving his arm a little squeeze. His dear Betsey was the only one kind enough to sympathize with those who hurt her. 

"I know," he breathed, giving her a chaste kiss on her forehead. He didn't want to overstep his physical boundaries with her and it was especially difficult as he didn't know where it was. 

"Maybe we should try therapy. Together," she said playing with the strings of her pyjama pants. 

"For what?" 

"To get better. I read that couples therapy is good for this sort of thing." She was no longer looking at him, her lap seemed more interesting to her with the way she was staring at it. 

"This sort of thing? What do you even mean?" He demanded, his fingers guiding her chin to look at him. 

"Infidelity." 

"Eliza, there's nothing wrong with our marriage, it's just me. I'm a dick," he exclaimed. Her suggestion that something was so wrong with their marriage that they needed therapy was insulting. 

"Alexander," she tried to grab his attention, but he was busy trying to convince her that they didn't need any of that shrink crap. They just took money to make people talk to each other. He could do that on his own time with his wife without a fucking chaperone. 

"Alexander! I can't do this alone." 

"You're not going to do it alone. You have me. We'll work it out together. We're the experts at our own marriage, not some outsider." They had been fixing their problems by themselves perfectly well and didn't need someone else to do it for them. 

"Everytime I try to talk to you about it, I'm too furious to think rationally. We can't do this on our own. Maybe you can, but I can't!" she exclaimed, her eyes pleading with his own. 

"It's normal to get angry." And right, he thought. 

"Yeah, but it's very unhealthy and won't be good in the long run. Listen, I don't want to force you if it's something you don't want to do, but please give it a thought before outright rejecting it."

"I can't saw the elephants, daddy," Philip pouted as he tugged his father's pants to get his attention. In response, Alex carried the boy and sat him on his shoulder, wincing slightly as he gripped his hair in fear of falling off. 

"Can you, now?" 

"Yes!" He squealed playfully as he began narrating a story he heard from his friend about elephants. 

"Why does it have a tail in the front?" 

"It's called a trunk, honey," Eliza answered as she tried to suppress her laughter.

 "Why does it have that?" 

"We have our hands to eat and carry things. Elephants have a trunk instead."

"Then, it should have two trunks, not one. I can't do anything with one hand, like clap," he said, trying to clap with one hand as a way of proving that it wouldn't work. 

It was Philip's birthday and the first time the family was together since the news of the affair was published. Their son, being the animal enthusiast he was begged them to take him to the zoo when asked what he wanted for his birthday. The boy was full of questions about animals, including the monkeys who were having sex. He and Eliza answered his every question to the best of their knowledge and googled the ones they couldn't. 

After a while, they sat down on a bench in front of the meerkat exhibit as Eliza was too tired to walk, while Philip entertained himself watching the animals run back and forth. 

At eighteen weeks into her pregnancy, Alexander could notice Eliza's cute little baby bump that reminded him of the time they were expecting Philip. She was explaining to him the size of their baby (only the size of a can of cola, apparently), how it was punching and kicking and even yawning. It had distinct ears and started developing eyebrows. 

"When do you have to go to the doctor next?" he asked as he watched her rummage through their bag for snacks like a raccoon in the trash. This comparison had earned him a glare years before, which reminded him to keep the comment to himself this time. 

"Tomorrow. It's good that you asked. Can you take Phil home tonight because it's an early appointment and I won't have time to take him to the daycare," she said before biting into an apple. Their kid hated hospitals and he knew it wasn't an option for Eliza to take him along with her. But, it wasn't what he had in mind when he asked her about it. 

"Well- umm- okay," he tried to argue but agreed to her request. 

"You don't sound okay. You don't have to if you're busy. I could drop him off with Dad. He's been complaining about not seeing his grandson enough." 

"Betsey, I'm not busy at all. I just thought I could come with you." He was in fact very busy, but she didn't have to know that. He could think of an appointment that could be attended by his subordinates and wouldn't need his presence. If Eliza drifter farther away from him, he would lose her and his family entirely. 

She looked wide-eyed at him with her mouth full of apple, her surprise indicating how unusual he was being. He had gone with Eliza for only three of her appointments when she was previously pregnant. She signalled him to wait for a second before she hurriedly swallowed it. 

"Alexander, you don't have to," she trailed and continued once she found the perfect word, "overcompensate. You're probably very busy." 

"I'm never too busy for my family," he defended immediately. Eliza raised an eyebrow challengingly as she bit into the apple almost angrily. She then shook her head and looked back at him with a more neutral expression. 

"We're going to fight about this, aren't we?" she chuckled. 

"Seems like that's all we do these days," he said sorrowfully, hanging his head low. She moved closer to him on the bench and rested her head on his shoulder and he took her hand in his. 

"I wish it never happened," she whispered so quietly, he didn't know if he was meant to hear it. She didn't have to mention what it meant. 

"Me too, Betsey. Me too."

Eliza invited him into her apartment when Alex dropped her off after they left their son at the Schuyler mansion, and he gladly went in. The rest of the day went by well. They walked around the zoo slowly until Philip's legs gave out and began falling asleep on his dad's shoulder. They went to his favorite restaurant where he became full right after drinking a small bowl of tomato soup. The conversation had made things uncomfortable for the pair, but they ignored it in favor of putting up an act in front of their kid who seemed happy after a long time to be out with both of his parents. 

"You're too silent these days," she commented as she took his coat from him. 

"I could say the same about you," he countered as he fell back on the couch.

"Well, it's true, but I have the capability to remain silent and we know very well that you can't go more than a minute without speaking in detail about something or the other," she pointed out. 

She switched on the television before she walked to the kitchen to fetch them water. The television, unfortunately, opened on a news channel on which people seemed to be debating him and his affair in particular. Has she forgiven him? There was even a picture of them from today. His wife was elaborately discussed, angering him to no ends. Eliza didn't seem at all bothered by the subject of the program until she changed the channel to one that showed close up images of food. 

He hated her new apartment and everything that was in it. It was complete, just like their home that she hadn't stepped into for months. It was fully furnished with the best furniture, her clothes were kept in her wardrobe as though they belonged there, their son had a room and a new set of everything he had back home. It looked like she had moved in permanently. 

"It's dad. He didn't tell me anything, but I think he hates you," she said, taking a sip of water. 

"That's an understatement," he huffed, recalling the fire in his eyes not too long ago when they dropped Philip off. 

"Yeah, well. He's been buying things for the place I never asked for. It's nothing to worry about. He'll come around soon,”she shrugged.

"It's not really him that I'm worried about," he said, putting his legs up on the coffee table. He didn't like to do that usually, but the furniture here could get all muddy and ugly for all he cared. 

"Well, you should be, Hamilton. He might issue a reward for whomever beheads you. Whenever he comes home, he bitches about you like you bitch about Jefferson and Burr." 

"Have you moved on?" he asked, taking notice of a particular word. Home. This wasn’t her home.

"What? No, I haven't." 

"It looks like you have. You look so comfortable in this house- you called it home and I hate that. This is not- it can't be your home. You have your things lying around everywhere and this place is so lived in and it seems that you've decided to leave our home permanently." 

"I don't think I can come back there, Alexander." 

"What do you mean? It's our home!" 

"It was! Now that I know what you did there, it feels so, ugh," she grunted as she clenched her fists, "disgusting." 

"So you're never coming home. This is your decision," he deadpanned. He should've expected this. When Eliza finally met him after asking for time apart to think, he didn't think the duration was forever. She tried to interrupt him, but he put no effort into listening to her as he poured out his frustrations. 

"What about going to therapy? I thought you wanted us to get better. Have you changed your mind?" he asked, searching his memory for any instance in which he hurt her enough for her to stop considering repair. 

"Alexander!" Eliza's voice brought him back to reality from the depths of his mind. 

"Listen to me. My not coming there has nothing to do with my decision regarding the continuity of our marriage. I don't want to return, not because I want to be separated from you- legally or otherwise, but because it's no longer my home. Do you remember how long it took us to save up enough money to buy that place? The day we moved in? All our funds were locked up and we didn't have enough for groceries. We were hungry, but never happier. It was where we fought, made love, had our child," she paused to gasp. 

"I thought it was ours, I thought our home was as special to you as it was to me, but you willingly brought some girl to our home, our bed, and God knows where else." 

"So, you're not giving up on our marriage?" he asked hopefully, ignoring her words about their home. He understood why she felt the way she did. The fact that they would never live together in their home was painful, but her answer was more than enough for him to hope for a new beginning in a new home.

"How could I? I've loved you for so long that I can't recall myself before you or imagine myself in the future without you. You've been a good husband to me and a wonderful father to Phil, and I have no doubts that you'll be good to next one." There was a hint of a smile as she touched her belly endearingly. 

"You've done something truly horrifying and as much as I'm supposed to shun you from my life for it, I can't because you've been nothing but absolutely sincere in your apologies and actions. I'm terrified of being with you again, of giving you all the broken pieces of my heart because you still wield the power break them to a point of no return,” she said, her voice as vulnerable as it was when she vowed to stand by him for sickness and in health.

"I'll never hurt you ever again, I promise," he choked on his own voice as he buried his face in the crook of her neck as he selfishly took in the comfort of her presence yet again. She let him take her guest bedroom and before that, he kissed her belly and promised their daughter- he wished it was a girl- to be the father she deserved, and the husband her mother deserved.

[all-these-ghosts]

A long time ago, when Matt was ten or eleven, Will came out to San Diego. At the zoo, Matt's parents said he and Will could walk around by themselves and meet back up for lunch. Matt was obviously in charge. Back then, the two years between them gave him undeniable authority. It was beautiful outside, and they watched a lion snatch a wayward pigeon from the air, and Matt had his notebook and he was drawing a picture of the lesser kudu with the pencils he got for Christmas— And then he looked up, and Will was gone. Matt panicked. He ran through the whole Africa section, shouting his cousin's name, but Will was nowhere. Somehow in just a few seconds he'd disappeared completely. Matt didn't know what happened to kids who lost their younger cousins — did you go to juvie for that? — but it couldn't be anything good. And it was a zoo. What if he fell into the bear exhibit? Of course Will turned up just a few minutes later. He'd found one of those penny-squishing machines and gotten distracted trying to figure out how it worked. Luckily Matt found him before his parents did. No one else ever even knew what happened. No one else ever knew how close Matt came to losing him; how close Will came to getting lost. — Sitting around the ashes of someone else's campfire, talking shit, it's easy for Matt to pretend that things are normal. Except that every breath hurts his lungs, and the temperature's fallen fifty degrees since yesterday — the forest went from unbearably hot to just above freezing — and the air is thick with smoke from the destruction of the tower. High above them, little fires spark in piles of brush. Their distant light looks like fireflies if he squints hard enough. Will's poking at the logs with a stick. Matt wonders who built the fire, and what happened to them. "It's cold," Matt says. "It's still August, right?" "Doesn't matter." "It does," Matt insists. He remembers the months he spent traveling and how carefully he'd counted the days. At one point he'd had what he's pretty sure was pneumonia, and even through fever and delirium and a hacking, bloody cough, he had marked the sunsets. "You start losing track of the days and you lose track of everything." Suddenly one of the logs collapses into itself. Bugs scuttle out onto the ground. Matt leans over to look at them, then pulls back, repulsed. "What are those?" Will reaches down like he's going to pick one up. Matt slaps his arm away. "Don't touch them!" His cousin gives him a strange, curious look, the tilt of his head almost avian. "They can't hurt me," he says slowly, like it's obvious. Will sets his hand on the ground. One of the bugs crawls up his arm, settling on his shoulder. Matt shudders. Will doesn't respond at all. The ash is black and almost shiny against the forest floor. It reminds him of that black ooze Will had forced out of the dirt back at the compound. "What happened to you up there?" Matt asks. He's not sure he really wants to know, and Will doesn't say anything. Matt's dad used to say all kinds of stuff about Aunt Dana and her family. It wasn't mean, exactly, just — it was obvious that he didn't really understand her or any of the things she did. Once on Thanksgiving while Will was talking about something, Matt's dad muttered, "Spooky, just like his dad." Matt's mom kicked him under the table and gave everybody else a forced smile, which was more or less how those dinners always went. Afterwards he'd tried to figure out what his dad meant. Spooky. Will wasn't a ghost or a werewolf. He didn't watch too many scary movies or sneak around in dark corners or wear really gory masks on Halloween. Now, in the dark around the skeleton of a fire, Will's eyes shining, Matt sees it. The bug sits on Will's shoulder. Matt feels like it's staring at him, too. Finally Will changes the subject. "It's weird, seeing my dad again. I'm taller than him." Matt nods. He'd been taller than his dad, too. "I don't know what to say to him." He thinks of his own father thousands of miles away, almost certainly dead, but the silence isn't any deeper now than it ever was. Matt can't remember the last real conversation he had with his dad. He says, "I never did either." "What do you think—" Will starts, then pauses. "Do you ever think about, like, what they would've wanted? What they thought we'd be?" The unspoken is obvious: if the world hadn't ended. If there had been a future to imagine. "My dad wanted me to join the Navy. You know. Be a man." He flexes his arm. It's a joke now. Whatever muscle tone he'd had two years ago is long gone. His body cannibalized its own excess months ago. Will smirks. "Too bad you're so shit at following orders." He grins. "Yeah. Too bad." He looks at Will. "What about you?" Will starts digging in the dirt with the stick; Matt wonders what he's trying to unearth. Finally he says, "I have no idea. Like, we never even talked about it. Sometimes I wonder if…" He swallows. The muscles in his jaw tense. "If they always knew what was going to happen." Will's blood in the dirt, those men chasing him, whatever happened to him up in that tower. Matt asks quietly, "What's going to happen?" "I just keep thinking about that dream I used to have." Will's voice is strained. "When I was a kid." Matt remembers, too. At the end of the dream I died. He asks, "Do you really think you can save the world?" Will shrugs. "Who else is gonna do it?" They stay up together, even though there isn't much to say. Matt looks up. The stars are still the same, at least. Thousands of years ago, before atlases and Google Maps, people could still find their way home. It settles him. As long as they can see the stars, they won't get lost.

[vateacancameos]

Here We Are As In Olden Days, Part 14

Day 14 of @missdaviswrites  December Sherlock ficlet challenge.

14 December, Elf

Sherlock | Molly POV | Friendship or Pre-slash Hoopkins | Ficlet | ao3 link

Molly placed the latest gift back on her desk before getting back to work. It had been a daily occurrence since the 1st of December. She would come into her office each morning to find a little gift had mysteriously appeared on her desk. Nothing fancy. A chocolate bar, a classic novel she’d been meaning to read for ages; one day it was just a printed out joke that had her in stitches.

But today. Today it was a gorgeous knitted hat, pale green and made from the softest yarn she’d ever felt. Every time she’d entered her office that day, she’d taken a moment to run her hands over the smooth fabric. She was glad it had finally cooled down enough that she could wear it on the walk home without looking silly. She would’ve worn it even if it was 40 degrees out, though, because she loved it. It reminded her of the knitted accessories her dad had made for her when she was a kid—scarves, mittens, and of course, hats.

She hadn’t thought about her dad’s knitting in ages until a couple of weeks ago, when a DI and she had got on the subject while waiting for a test to finish up. Molly didn’t usually talk about her dad to other people. He had only been gone a few years, and sometimes the memories still hurt. But this woman—Stella, new to the Met—was just so easy to talk to that it was natural to let the memory of those warm gifts from her father just spill out.

Friends weren’t easy for Molly. She had always been quiet and private. Most of them were like her, odd and serious. Well, then there was Sherlock, but that had never been a traditional friendship. Still, he was also odd. Stella, though, was… cool. She was very cool. Smart, an amazing dresser, and she knew so much about so many things. Chatty. Nothing at all like Molly. Usually someone like that would intimidate her, but Stella didn’t. She was open and friendly with Molly, not to mention extremely funny. Not many people got Molly’s rather morbid sense of humor, but when she had made a dark joke the first time Stella had been to the morgue, the woman had laughed like she’d never heard anything funnier.

It was nice, having this new… acquaintance? friend? to talk to, especially during the holidays, when it was made most obvious how few loved ones some people had to celebrate with. And now it seemed Molly had not only the DI, but this mysterious elf/gift giver who thought she was worth paying attention to. It seemed fortuitous to have both happen at once, and the part of Molly that had been taken in by Moriarty wanted to question it, to not believe it, but she was different now. She wasn’t so starved for attention. She was happy with where she was in life.

Okay, yes, she had just broken things off with Tom—lovely man, but not who she needed—but she wasn’t sad about that. She had never been comfortable with Tom. He was always so eager to please and be what she wanted him to be, that she felt she never really got to know the real him. And seeing Sherlock and John, and the way they were so comfortable with each other, even just as friends, made Molly realize that’s what she wanted—no, what she deserved—in her own life.

This elf seemed to think she deserved nice things too, going by the quality of the hat. She wondered if it was hand knit or something bought in a shop. Her money was on the former, given that there were no tags on it. The next question was if the elf knit it themself or if they bought it from a yarn shop. Either was quite flattering, given the price a hand-knit item usually went for. Still, a part of her hoped the elf knit it themself. That they had thought of Molly as they picked out the pattern and matched it with the perfect yarn. That they had taken hours out of their free time to create the hat.

That got her thinking. Did she know any knitters? That would certainly narrow the list of suspects. She felt a bit like Sherlock or Stella, trying to deduce her elf.

Molly was remembering her dad’s knitting during lunch when she recalled her conversation about it with Stella. The DI had mentioned having learned knitting from her aunt when she was a girl. She’d said she didn’t knit much anymore, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t. Could her new friend and her elf be the same person?

For just a moment, the idea saddened Molly, that she might not have two new friends after all. But the thought passed quickly. If Stella was her elf, then she really was Molly’s friend, wasn’t she? Molly wasn’t greedy. She didn’t need two new friends. And Stella was quite fantastic.

The longer she thought about it, the more right it felt that Stella was Molly’s elf. They discovered a shared humor, and then Molly had received that joke as one of her gifts. Molly had mentioned her favorite chocolate bar to the DI, and then received that same sweet a few days later. She recalled Stella complimenting a pale green shirt Molly had worn one day, and that shirt matched her new hat almost exactly.

Work tore her away from her contemplation, but it stayed at the back of her mind the rest of the day. As she walked home that evening, protected from the biting cold by her new hat, she thought on what she should get Stella in return. The DI had mentioned her love of animals. Perhaps tickets to the zoo? Though that seemed too small. But she was new to London. Perhaps she’d like it if Molly went with her? Then Molly could buy her dinner after. Oh! And she could buy her some yarn as well. Yes, that sounded lovely.

Mind made up, Molly walked the rest of the way home with good holiday cheer, warm in her new hat and happy in her thoughts of her new friend. It was going to be a lovely Christmas.

Beginning | Previous | Next

[kalanixochoa]

Bed Rest - Kage

Muses Involved:

Sage - @sage-mcbaine

Kalani - @kalanixochoa

Synopsis: Kalani winds up in the hospital after his bite. Sage comes to cheer him up after another rough few weeks of their friendship. The two reconcile, and fall asleep on his hospital bed, together. 

Kalani: Kalani barely remembered what happened when he first woke up. He was groggy, his throat sore from the breathing tube that was shoved in him while the doctors worked on him. The seer didn’t realize just how sore it was at first, thinks to the drugs he was under, keeping the pain on his arm at bay. He’d lost a lot of blood, thanks to the deep cuts of the razor sharp teeth that had sank into him. The worst part of it though was when Kalani tried to shake the animal off from him, slicing through his flesh as if it were tissue paper. The cherry on top was how long it took, from the attack, to being brought to the hospital. He had passed out from shock, and the loss of blood, his bottom and top lip was split and stitched up from where he had face planted in the woods.  

He only knew as much as he did because of the doctors. The last thing he remembered was not being able to sleep, because of what was going on with Sage. The next thing he knew, he was in the hospital. They also told him that he was bit, not by an animal. But by a werewolf. It scared Kalani. He wasn’t sure what it meant, and he didn’t want to dwell on it. It changed things. His plans for the future, if he were to be a wolf, meant he couldn’t go home. It wouldn’t be the same, being something different than when he left.

Kalani laid there, about a day after coming to. His arm was bandaged up where the bite was. The nurse came in to let him know that they had reached out to his emergency contact, the last person he had texted in his phone. He honestly didn’t remember who that was. But when he saw those familiar blue eyes through his doorway, it hit him. Kalani licked his lips and looked down, embarrassed that Sage was the one they reached out to. The slave was surprised to see her there, after what had happened recently. But her conscience had gotten the best of her, she must be here to simply check on him, someone had to.

Sage: It'd been an interesting couple weeks for Sage to say the least, and unless someone was paying really close attention to her, no one would've even noticed that something was amiss. Because, really, she was doing what she usually did, just to an extreme. She was bedding people in the double digits, per day, and when she wasn't doing that, she was going at it in her home gym, working off whatever energy she had left. At the end of all that, she'd be so exhausted that she'd all but pass out into a deep, dreamless sleep- which was exactly what she wanted. She didn't want to see him in her dreams, and she knew she would if her mind was given the chance. It was easier this way, doing what she was good at, focussing on the temporary, going about her day minute by minute, hour by hour. Seeing him at work was hard, but she found a way to keep her composure, a big smile on her face as she interacted with her customers, playful and flirty as ever. Somehow she didn't seem to have as many shifts with him anymore- but she didn't question it. That too was for the best.

It was early enough, and the couple she'd had her fun with were just leaving her house when she got a phone call. Still naked, she trotted over to the phone, Tebow at her heels. The number wasn't one she recalled, but she answered it nonetheless, figuring it was someone she could coax into her bed. Only that never happened, because two minutes after her falsely cheerful 'hey hey', Sage was dropping the receiver and bolting into the living room to grab an oversized shirt, running out of the house before she even had the thing on. Barefoot, Sage raced across campus, heart thudding in her chest painfully, her mind racing with all sorts of thoughts.

Making it to the hospital in record time, Sage frantically darted around, asking the nurses she passed to point her in the right direction. When she finally found his room, Sage was halfway in through the door before she thought to slow down. One look at him laying in that bed, paler than usual, lip busted, patched up and Sage was on the move again. Sage wasn't afraid of much, nor did she worry about much- but when she'd gotten that call, she felt both as she assumed the worst. But he was alive, he looked okay, that had to mean something, right? "Kalani," she said slowly, somehow finding herself at his bedside without even having realized she moved. "Kalani, fuck. Just- fuck." She knew things were rocky between them, she knew they were avoiding each other, but right in that moment, all that mattered was that he was okay. Leaning forward, Sage wrapped him in a hug, steering clear of his injuries and holding him close. "You're okay."

Kalani: Kalani wasn’t sure how Sage would react. If he had to bet on it, he figured it would be some cold comment, considering how things were left, and the litany of those she had given him at her house. Deservedly so, for misreading their relationship, and putting her in an awkward position like that. But her expression showed concern for him, which resulted in a look of confusion on his face in response. Her soft hands pressed into him as she gave him a hug, but he was still in shock, sitting there in the same position. Finally, he placed his hands on her back, embracing his friend. It had been a hard few weeks away from her. Kalani swore that after he asked to not be on the same shifts at her, he was forced to be fed on from customers even more often than before. The seer wasn’t sure what this meant for them, with Sage reacting this way. Honestly, there was so much going on it was difficult for him to think forward like that. For now, he just enjoyed feeling Sage in his arms again. The one thing he did remember leading up to what had happened, was Sage. He felt sore when he woke up, but now he felt a lot better, thanks to her. I’m really sorry they called you. They didn’t ask me he signed to her. Kalani didn’t want her to think this was some ploy to get her attention. If it were up to him, she wouldn’t have known what had happened.

Sage: With her mind racing as it was, Sage hardly even registered Kalani's surprise or his hesitation when it came to hugging her back. She didn't even process that or think about why that was. In fact, she really couldn't think of much other than what he was doing at the hospital, whether he'd be alright, and whose ass she was going to have to kick for putting him there in the first place. Everything else was secondary. Pulling back, her hands lingering on him just a second before she dropped them to her sides, Sage just stared at him for a moment, his words taking a minute to register. "What?" she asked, confused for a second, mind a little foggy. "Oh. No, fuck, don't apologize for that, I don't care," she said instantly, a little surprised that he'd even think of it like that. But then again, why wouldn't he with the way things had been between them lately. "What the hell happened?" she asked finally, eyes drifting over his body, not missing his injury. "I- didn't really listen to what the nurse said on the phone, I just heard that you were in the hospital and I- what happened?"

Kalani: For a second, Kalani wondered if he were under again. That’s how surprised he was by Sage’s embrace, he expected her to maybe say hello, ask how he was and leave him there. The seer pressed his nose to her scalp, taking in the familiar scent that was Sage, memories of them flooded his thoughts, ones that made him smile. Kalani still felt like he need to apologize for the hurt he caused her. That wasn’t his intention, his only intentions were to make sure she felt safe around him, free to be herself. I don’t know exactly he started, shaking his head while he thought back. I couldn’t sleep, I think. So I went out to burn some energy. I’ve done it before. The next thing I remember, I was waking up here. The doctors said I was bitten, badly he added. Kalani didn’t want to tell her it was a werewolf bite though. It was difficult for him to admit it. What are you wearing? the seer asked, taking a moment to look her over. It wasn’t something you normally saw people wearing the hospital. Well, at least not the visitors, the patients maybe.

Sage: "Bitten? You mean by like an animal or something?" she asked incredulously, furrowing her brow. Sure, she knew that they were on a tropical island, meaning that there were all sorts of creatures out in the woods, lots of dangerous ones too, but somehow she just never considered that someone would be attacked by one of them- least of all Kalani, whom she'd come to see as kind of invincible, even despite the fact that he was human. Of course, seeing him like this, in a hospital bed, it reminded her of just how human he was, and reminded her that it wouldn't have take all too much to end him for good. Just that thought had her stomach clenching, her fingers twitching with the need to reach out to him again, to assure herself that he was okay. "You shouldn't have gone for a hike in the middle of the night, K. It's a fuckin' zoo out there!" she chastised, though she could understand. How was he to know some wild animal would come after him? When he asked her about what she was wearing, Sage gave him another confused look, not having expected the abrupt change in subject. "What? This? Oh, yea, I uh, just grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on," she explained with a shrug, smoothing a hand over the oversized shirt. She must've looked a mess- hair all over the place, barefoot, dressed in just a t-shirt. All she could think about when she'd gotten that call was getting to the hospital. "Doesn't matter. So like, you're going to be fine right? They give you a rabies shot or something?"

Kalani: Kalani wasn’t sure how to answer her. He didn’t want to admit himself what had happened, considering what he knew the possibilities were thanks to a supernatural class he was forced to take here. But he had never lied to Sage, so there was really no point in starting now. After all, he was trying to repair things with her. Sort of he started before taking a short pause. The doctor said it was a werewolf. But I could have still been drugged. Just making things up in my head he told her, trying to convince himself he had misheard. Kalani also didn’t want it to further worry Sage. I usually don’t. I couldn’t sleep. Needed to burn off some energy. It has been a crazy few weeks since we last spoke the seer signed to her. He wasn’t going to admit how upset he’d been, or how much he missed her. The only thing it would do is upset her, or make her feel guilty, and that wasn’t his goal. Kalani motioned over at the chair, some of his clothing had been brought for when he was allowed to leave. You can borrow my shorts. They are big, but have a drawstring if you are uncomfortable he offered to her. Kalani didn’t mind seeing Sage like this, she was very beautiful. But she didn’t have to prance around half naked if she didn’t want to. I think so. They said the worst is over. I just lost some blood, but they gave me a transfusion he explained.

Sage: "Wait, wait, a what?" she all but hissed at him when he revealed that it wasn't in fact a while animal that'd taken a bite out of him but rather a werewolf. "You mean to tell me you were bit by a wolf? Like, a turns-back-into-a-human-and-therefore-should-have-more-sense-than-a-wild-animal kind of wolf?" she demanded, the anger in her words very clear. Before, when she thought he'd been bit by a regular animal, she was pissed, but it wasn't like she could get angry at an animal, what did they know. But finding out that it was a werewolf was very different. A werewolf she could beat the shit out of when they turned back into a human. With how erratic her mind and moods were lately, Sage could've and would've went off on a rampage, but when Kalani continued to sign, a different feeling overtook the anger. It took a moment for her to realize it was guilt. Now, Sage wasn't going to get all self-important and assume Kalani's restlessness was all on her, but based off what he said, it'd be safe to assume that she was at least part of the reason. And she couldn't help but think that, if she hadn't overreacted over his confession, he'd have been safe in her bed that night rather than alone and restless in his cell. This whole thing might've been avoided. Brushing off the offer of his shorts with a shake of her head, Sage shuffled closer and gently touched the back of his hand as it rested on the hospital bed, her eyes downcast. "This shouldn't have happened to you."

Kalani: Kalani hated hearing Sage expand on his statement. He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to think about it. His family had always been seers, humans. Not wolves. It wasn’t as if he hated the species or anything. One of his best friends here, Ava was one, and he had much respect for her. But that wasn’t who he was. The wolves back home didn’t interact with his people, creating quite a rift between the inhabitants.  That’s what it sounds like. I don’t remember much. But that is what the nurse had told me he signed to her, slowly. His chest heaved, taking in a large, anxious breath. Even Sage couldn’t completely alleviate it. He felt the soft touch of Sage’s fingertips against the back of his hand, trailing over his knuckles. It brought his attention back to her, trying to not to show her the emotion on his face. It’s okay. It’s no one’s fault. It just happened. It won’t stop me from going on a late-night walk again he assured her. With his other hand, he turned it over, cradling hers in his. It was just an accident Sage. Nothing anyone could have done. But thank you for your concern he told her. There was no way he would he tell her that the reason he had gone out was because of her. But he could have made other choices. He could have kept his feelings to himself, he could have let what had happened go. Kalani shouldn’t have thought about it so much, letting it affect him like it did.

Sage: Sage knew it was uncalled for, but she was pissed. Pissed that Kalani was made to be a chew toy by some idiot werewolf, pissed that the admin would allow someone that unstable into the Institute in the first place, pissed at herself for not being there. Perhaps that was the worst part of it all- her guilt over not being there for him when he'd obviously needed her. But there was nothing she could do about it now, no way she could go back in time and fix things, so she was just going to have to deal with the choices she'd made and hope Kalani wasn't going to suffer too much for it. Grinding her teeth to try and contain her frustration, since she really didn't want to take it out on an injured man, Sage focussed on taking deep breaths. When Kalani took her hand, it helped a little, allowing her to draw her attention back to him, to focus on what was important. "It's not no one's fault. It's that fuckin' werewolf's fault," she corrected, giving him a look. It didn't matter if Kalani was all about forgiveness and whatever else- Sage didn't take too kindly to someone she cared about getting hurt, especially when it was at the hands of someone else. Gently lacing her fingers with his, Sage gave his hand a little squeeze- she had to admit that it felt really good to be touching him again, to be holding his hand. "So...what now?" she asked, looking from him to the medical equipment set up around him. "I mean, does this mean you're a- can they tell?"

Kalani: Kalani had been around Sage enough to pick up on her emotions. That might sound like an easy task, but given how subtle Sage was with her emotions it took a bit of detective work. Not that he minded it, he cared about her, any amount of effort was worth it, if it meant getting closer to Sage. He shook his head at her, trying to place blame. Sage could be impulsive, and her desire to blame someone for what had happened was most likely just a symptom of that trait. It was hard for him to place blame, he didn’t know what was going on in their mind. Perhaps they were afraid of him, he was a rather imposing and intimidating figure. I don’t know he signed to her, still looking away from her. The seer didn’t want to think about that. He just wanted to enjoy being there with Sage. I took the class here. And it sounds like that could be the case he admitted. If he were speaking, it would be obvious just how nervous he was, but it was lost in his fingers. I don’t want to think about it. Not right now. I will ask someone questions when I am ready. Right now I am not going to worry about it he informed her, his eyes drifting back to meet hers. Kalani was still in shock to see her here, it took some of the sting from his arm to have her in the same room as him.

Sage: As well as Kalani could read her, Sage could read him just as well. She could tell that, unlike her, he wasn't pissed at the wolf who'd done this to him. In fact, knowing him, he was probably making excuses for the wolf, for what'd happened. Another time, she might've found a way to appreciate the way he avoided pointing fingers, but right then she just thought it was stupid. In her mind, it was pretty clear- that wolf fucked up. He or she should've controlled themselves better, and if Sage ever found out who it was, then she'd take matters into her own hands since it appeared that Kalani wouldn't be doing anything about it himself. But he didn't need to know about that, she'd handle it herself- she could be very tenacious when she wanted to be. "I don't know much about wolves, but yea, I seem to remember something along those lines. Get bit by a wolf and...y'know..." It was clear to her that the prospect made him uneasy- though she couldn't exactly say why. She couldn't recall him ever mentioning having anything against werewolves. Perhaps he was worried what people would think of him with the change? Or maybe it was his family and his people that he was worried about. Nodding when he said he didn't want to worry about it then, Sage dropped her gaze to their joined hands for a long moment. "Do you, uh, need anything? Food? Have you eaten?"

Kalani: Kalani took in another sharp inhale as she spoke. She wasn’t making him feel any better about it. The physical pain from the bite wasn’t even close in caliber to the mental pain it had caused him.  But Kalani did his best not to let on. Sage wasn’t doing it on purpose, it came from concern for him. Yes. I know that. I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I just want to deal with my injury right now he lied to her. He would rather sound pathetic than talk about the consequences of what had happened. The bound seer should have been hungry, as he couldn’t remember when he’d last eaten. But his stomach was in knots and adrenaline coursed through him, making the need to eat minimal. I’m okay. I’m just glad you are here. I did miss you a lot. I hope you don’t think I did this to get your attention he signed, flashing her a smirk as he joked. He was certain men had done far stranger things to get the beautiful succubus’ attention. But Kalani would never stoop to this level to get it. But the timing did seem odd, he could understand that. Could you talk to our boss? Let him know I will be out at least a few days? he asked. Truthfully, he should take more than that off, considering how much blood he lost. And after asking to be off the shifts shared with Sage, the frequency of feeding on him seemed to increase. He doubted it was a coincidence.

Sage: Sage nodded slowly at his response. She still didn't quite get it, only seeing the situation from her perspective. If it were her, she'd want to know right then and there, and even if it were true, she probably wouldn't have cared. But she had to take a moment to realize that Kalani was not her, and thank goodness for that, so perhaps he had a reason for not wanting to talk about it. She liked to think she knew him well, but there could still be more to him that she didn't know- something that'd explain his reaction and his unease with potentially being a wolf now. Either way, Sage decided to drop it, not wanting to cause him any more strain than necessary. But in the process of setting aside her anger and frustration, Sage had to come to terms with the other emotions she was feeling right then. Like worry and fear and this fierce sort of protectiveness that went beyond just friendship. "Yea...I missed you too," she said softly, trying not to look too emotional about it but perhaps failing all the same. She meant it, obviously, but divulging all her deepest feelings to him right then would be pretty bad timing, all things considered. Besides, she still wasn't ready for that. "And I totally thought you did this for me- getting bit and all," she joked back, returning his smirk. It felt good to pretend like everything was back to normal, to joke with him like they used to, even if it was briefly and probably temporarily. "Don't worry about Emmanuel. I'll talk to him, let him know you won't be in for a while," she said, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze- and she did mean 'a while', not a few days. She didn't plan on letting kalani out of her sight if she could help it. "Now seriously, have you eaten? Don't make me go find a nurse to tattle on you."

Kalani: Kalani smiled at her admission. One of the few times he could genuinely smile in the past few weeks. It just took him getting bitten and possibly losing his life to get there. Funny how that seemed to work. Sometimes it took almost losing what you have to truly appreciate it. Sage couldn’t help but joke, even at a time like this. But it was one of the things he liked most about her, her irreverence. It could have annoyed some people, but it was simply part of her charm. I do like you a lot. But I don’t think it’s enough to get me to do something so stupid, intentionally he signed to her, laughing under his breath.  Kalani couldn’t help but be worried about Emmanuel. Things at the club only seemed to get worse, and he wasn’t one to take excuses kindly. What are you going to do about Emmanuel? he couldn’t help but ask. The last thing the seer wanted was for Sage to interject herself in the situation. Emmanuel had already threatened Sage, and her standing up for Kalani would probably make everything worse. I’m okay, really he started, before giving another laugh. Are you sure you are not the one that’s hungry? he joked. Sage was never afraid to eat in front of him, it seemed. Kalani could eat, but she rivaled him with that. With how much she worked out, it made sense she often needed to refuel.

Sage: Sage bit the inside of her cheek when he mentioned that he liked her- a lot, no less. She still couldn't wrap her head around that, that someone like him could have feelings for someone like her. And she believe he meant it to- he wasn't the type to just go around lying about something like that, nor did she think he was the type to joke about something like that. No, she believed him, and that just made it worse because it meant that she had to take him seriously, and she didn't really know how to do that. "Little miracles," she chuckled softly, running her free hand through her messy hair and taking a deep breath. She didn't comment on the part about him liking her, but she figured that was for the best. Clearly ignoring him was out of the question, which meant they'd probably have to talk about it at some point, but she was going to put that off as long as she could. Lucky for them, they had other things to focus on. "Don't worry about Emmanuel. I know what he's like to you guys, but he's not completely unreasonable when it comes to the Mistresses around here," she promised, squeezing his hand again. In truth, she didn't know yet what she'd do, but she was resourceful. She'd come up with something. "Just leave that to me, alright? You've already got enough to worry about. And I'm always hungry," she retorted, lips quirking, "But I was asking about you. I just- I feel a little useless right now, I guess. You sure you don't need anything?"

Kalani: He was cautious about giving an admission like that, again. It did not go well the first time, but he was compelled to remind her of the feelings he had for her. Kalani tried to tread slowly around the subject, but given what happened, he couldn’t help but remind her. The seer could have legitimately died the previous night, and all he wanted to do was make sure he told Sage what he felt about her before he went. Kalani did worry, as much as Sage told him not to. But he trusted Sage, if she said she could handle him, he believed her. Don’t get yourself into a bad situation. The last thing I need is you getting in his bad graces, like I already am he signed to her. It was hard enough working there, but to see Sage going through the same things he had to go through would have been unbearable for him. Kalani slowly shook his head at her. He didn’t need anything in this moment. His best friend was here, and cared about him. That was all he really needed. No. I’m fine. I am just very happy you are here. I don’t need anything else. Doctor said they would bring me in some juice soon. Said it would be good for me after the transfusion he explained to her.

Sage: "Now, would I ever do anything to get myself into a bad situation?" she teased- because yes, Sage was pretty much known for doing all sorts of reckless things. But she really didn't think this whole thing with Emmanuel would be too bad. "Like I said, don't worry about Emmanuel, I'll handle him. He and I get along just fine," she said, not wanting to get too in depth about that- which was why she avoided mentioning that they'd gone away together earlier in the summer. She knew the kinds of things the Professor put slaves through, put Kalani through, and yet she and him were still friends. Sage wasn't going to pretend to have much of a moral compass, but that was yet another sign to her that she wasn't good enough for Kalani. How could she express her feelings for him and still be friends with Emmanuel? Was that even possible? "I'd be happier if you weren't in a hospital bed, but...I'm happy to see you too," she said softly, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze, a tiny smile on her lips as she looked down at him. "Juice. Transfusion. Got it. Maybe you should rest? I can go check on that juice," she added, looking over her shoulder at the door. She'd have moved away then, but she was a little surprised by the way she really didn't want to leave him, not even for a couple minutes. But he needed to rest, she didn't want to get in the way of that. "I should let you rest," she said, though she didn't exactly make a move to leave.

Kalani: Kalani smiled, and gave a soft laugh despite the pain. Even some of the slightest movement sent shooting pains from his shoulder. The doctors had explained he would need to wear a sling after her left, while his stitches and muscles healed. But his grin didn’t falter, he was too happy to have Sage with him for anything to dampen his mood. The seer nodded as she promised to take care of things. He trusted her, and knew what she was capable of. It could be worse. I could be in my bunk. The hospital is much nicer he joked. It reminded him that school would be starting tomorrow, that he’d be forced to hang out in his tiny cell more often now. Even worse, he’d need to heal scrunched up on his tiny bed. The slave watched as Sage pulled away. He’d rather she stayed, but knew this was difficult for her to see. He put herself in her shoes, how difficult it would be to find Sage like this. Kalani moved over on his bed, creating some space to one side. You could rest with me. They might let me stay if a mistress is using the bed as well he offered.

Sage: "Well you fit the bed better, that's for sure," she responded, bemused, a little grin tugging at her lips. It was true enough, Kalani seemed to be more comfortable in the hospital bed- at least he was getting the proper care. But that only made her think about when he'd inevitably have to go back to the cells- they weren't going to keep him in the hospital forever, after all. With her hand free, Sage ran them through her hair, trying to smooth out the wild locks by drawing it up into a messy bun. She was glancing over her shoulder, checking if a nurse or doctor would come by to check on him, but when she heard him shifting around on the bed, she returned her attention to him. And was surprised to see him moved over to one side. The invitation was obvious, even before he signed, and Sage hesitated for a moment- not because she didn't want to, but because she really did. A whole lot. She thought about making an excuse and leaving, or telling him she'd take the chair, but before she could even formulate something to say, she was moving towards him and crawling up onto the bed. "Good point," she said as she gently settled herself beside him, her head laying close to his on the pillow as they shared it. Though they were laying on a hospital bed, with Kalani recovering from a dangerous ordeal, Sage couldn't get over how intimate it felt. Or how comforting- it was like all the stress she'd been carrying on her shoulders over the past few weeks was suddenly gone. "I'm renting you when you get out of here," she said after a moment, her eyes on his face. "Don't argue with me on this, alright?"

Kalani: Kalani was already feeling better. Maybe Sage was all he needed. She seemed to work better than some of the meds they had given him. Because even as they filled his IV with painkillers, they didn’t seem to fully work on him. She settled in next to his shoulder – not his injured one, however. Kalani was thankful she accepted his initiation. He didn’t want to be alone, he felt so alone when he was out there the night before, and now he felt a bit of comfort. Thank you he signed to her, smiling down at his lap, not wanting to show just how happy he was to have her here, next to him. He brought his arm up and placed it behind her head, so she was forced to get closer to him, up against the side of his chest. Okay he started. He knew there was no arguing with her. And honestly, he found it hard to fight her on it. Yes, Kalani usually didn’t want people feeling like they needed to protect him. He did a good job of doing that himself, up to this point. And it certainly didn’t fall on Sage to do so. You are sweet for that. I admit, I wouldn’t mind spending a few days with you. Just as long as It’s not a burden to you. Doctors say I will need to wear a sling for a bit, while I heal he told her.

Sage: It'd been such a big change for her, to go from being this close to Kalani on a daily basis to hardly even seeing him for a couple weeks. But now that she was back in his space, so close to him that she could feel the heat coming off his body, she realized yet again how much she'd missed him. Which of course made her think about why she'd distanced herself in the first place. Kalani's injury changed things, she couldn't find it in herself to stay away from him now, but that didn't mean she knew what to do about everything else. She figured they could figure it out later, they had more pressing things to deal with. Like making him feel better and getting him all healed up. When he put his arm around her, Sage surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, didn't shy away from him, instead moving closer to curl up against his side. Her arm draped low over his belly, steering clear of any IVs or his bandages. "It's nothing, really, it wouldn't be right for you to go back to the cells when you're like this," she dismissed, though it was obviously more than just wanting him to be comfortable. She needed him close, where she could see him and be near him. Sage wasn't very possessive, not usually, but with Kalani she could feel herself wanting to just keep him with her. In the moment, it was easy to reason that that was just because she wanted him to be safe and was feeling guilty that he'd been hurt when she wasn't around to help him, but in truth, the feelings had been brewing for some time now. "You're never a burden, K, don't worry about that. We'll have you healed up in no time, alright? And hey, slings are totally sexy."

Kalani: Kalani loved how sweet and giving Sage was. Sure, the two had a unique bond, a very strong relationship. But he also knew there were very few that she wouldn’t have sympathy for, if they were put in his position. Or at least, that’s how he thought she was. Sage always seemed to enjoy touching his body when they were together, and now, with her hand on the outside of his gown, against the ridges of his abdominal muscles, that closeness was felt again. It was certainly something he didn’t mind, he loved feeling that physical connection to her, because he knew just how special, and important it was to her. It was funny, how rough they could be in certain moments, and completely gentle in others, like this one. But Kalani wouldn’t have had their relationship any other way. Sexy huh? I will have to keep that in mind he joked to her, laughing a bit at the thought. Honestly, Kalani wasn’t sure if he’d actually wear it. If he healed, he healed, if not, it didn’t bother him too much. He could be stubborn, when it came to medical issues. I also hope you know I would offer you the same, if the roles were reversed. That I like to take care of you as well he told her. He felt bad about it even. He thought his main goal here, at the school was to take care of the succubus, whether it’s physically, or emotionally. And now, he was the one that needed her care. There was something emasculating about it, that didn’t sit quite right with him. And it shouldn’t take me long to get better he added, for good measure.

Sage: "Mmhm, you'd get all the babes with that sling, y'know. I'm gonna have to beat them off with a stick or sic Tebow on them or something," she joked, chuckling under her breath as she carefully snuggled closer to his side. During the past few weeks, while she'd been apart from Kalani, it was relatively easy to keep her mind off thoughts of him. Sage was very good at putting things out of her mind, living in denial- between all the sex and all the working out she'd been doing, Sage was so exhausted at the end of the day that she'd just knock the fuck out into a dreamless, coma-like sleep every night. Couldn't dream of Kalani if she could hardly form conscious thought. She'd cut back on feeding too, also helped with making her exhausted since technically she didn't need to sleep or have human food so long as she fed off life force enough. But being there with Kalani, huddled close on the hospital cot, it brought everything back, and Sage was a little startled by just how much she'd missed him- she didn't think she was capable of it. "I know you would- you're just that kind of guy. But right now it's my turn to take care of you, alright? I'll take an IOU or something," she said, grinning to herself, though obviously she didn't need anything in return for this- she was already feeling guilty for it, after all. "Take all the time you need to heal, baby," she said, stifling a yawn, the endearment falling from her lips without much thought- she hadn't called him that in so long. "How 'bout you take a nap now, yea? Gotta save your strength and all that."

Kalani: Kalani didn’t care much about picking up women. That might have been other people’s goal here. But he was here to get an education, and maybe to make a few friends. He never thought he would grow as close to someone, as he did with Sage. Although Sage was joking, she really didn’t have much to fear. Sure, there were plenty of good looking women at the school. But none he thought of highly of, as he did Sage. Yes, be ready he joked back, flashing her a grin as he signed. Even back home, Kalani didn’t like to be coddled. His mother tried, occasionally, either he was sick, or she wanted to feed him. But he rarely accepted it, wanting to tough it out all on his own. An  I owe you sounds fair. Don’t be afraid to redeem it he told her. Although, knowing Sage, she wasn’t the apprehensive type, when it came to being taken care of. And she was outgoing enough to legitimately ask him for it. Kalani used his hand, the one on the arm behind her, to comb through her hair a couple times. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to do that again, just hours ago. Or even before that, really, with all that had happened between them. Kalani didn’t want to give gestures like that, afraid it would make her uncomfortable. But he couldn’t help himself, and she started it by holding onto him like she did. A nap sounds good. You don’t have to stay if you can’t. I won’t feel bad he added. It was the honest truth, he understood why she felt a need to go in times like that. Kalani didn’t want to make her feel caged, or to make her realize whatever feelings she had for him. As he dropped his hand, he could feel himself slowly start to drift off, thanks to his medication.

Sage: Chuckling under her breath at Kalani's response, Sage let out a soft, content sigh and settled closer to him, nuzzling her face against his chest. For a moment, she didn't say anything, relishing in the silence- it wasn't normal for her, considering that she was always talking or laughing or making some sort of commotion. But this was nice. Peaceful. And though her heart was still heavy with the implications of what'd happened, both last night and weeks before, she couldn't help but feel like things were going to be okay when they were together. Lifting a hand, Sage gently traced the outer edges of the bandage that adorned his other shoulder, her touch as gentle as a butterfly's wings. "Nah, I'll stay," she answered immediately, almost on instinct- but it didn't matter. She meant it. "It's not like I've got anything else to do right now," she joked, because of course she could've found something else to keep her occupied. She just didn't want to. "Sleep, baby," she murmured idly, pressing a kiss to his chest before closing her eyes herself and falling into a peaceful sleep, comforted by his presence.

-END-