#would take days or weeks of training to get used to stuff so u can realize ordinary tasks like running and jumping

[unknownati]

Hello! I hope you're doing well :3

Can I get something about Ekko (headcanons, short scenario... you choose the format) with a s/o with chronic migraines? I absolutely love how you write him!! And it would be very special for me, considering that this topic is not talked about enough.

Thank you so much for your contribution to the fandom! ily byee

vi. ekko x gn!reader w/chronic migraines (hcs)

a/n: twin. I GOTCHU 😭🤝 and tysm!

i'm sorry if this isn't up to your expectations, i tried to do extra research on it (i was on r/migraine and like 3 different medical sites for a WHILE.) to make sure i repped u the best i could! please lmk if there's any inaccuracies :(

from what i read, most people's experiences were pretty similar so i tried to keep it in that middle ground.

warnings/tags: fluffy fluffy fluff, lowercase intended, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, descriptions of pain, reader gets insecure at the end (w/ comfort!), just ekko taking care of u like the gentleman he is really, i need this man

_____________________________________________

-ekko didn't quite know how to handle it when you first started getting close.

-you could tell he cared, constantly glancing over at you with worried eyes every time you rubbed your temples and took deep breaths. his hand would rest on your shoulder, and even though you brushed it off, he knew it sucked.

-you somehow managed to keep it pretty low-key until you two started dating.

-the first time he really got a glimpse into it was during a baaad week after you started dating.

-"doin' okay?" he'd murmur, kneeling down next to your duvet shielded figure. all you do is groan, sticking your hand out to find his, interlocking fingers with him.

"yeah, i guessed. brought you some meds, maybe it'll help make you feel a bit better."

he knew he was doing something right when you squeezed his hand and whispered "thank you."

it was the most grateful he's ever heard anyone sound for anything.

and even though those pain meds didn't do the best job in the world, it's the thought that counts!

-afterward, he started with peeking to see what meds you take, constantly keeping them restocked for you. he thinks you don't know he's the one sneaking them into your bag, your cabinet, on your nightstand, etc. you know. there's only one person in your life who you know would leave spray paint stains on the little bottles.

-he'd make sure to keep areas he knows you mainly hung around much dimmer. buys you blackout curtains and figures out how to make controlled light bulbs for you that can be dimmer or brighter as you needed.

-he carries a shocking amount of stuff on him. boom, canteen of water! boom, snacks! boom, painkillers! woah, what's that? ICE PACK! check behind your ears? holy shit it's a heating pad.

-one thing though; as much as he cares for you, he won't baby you. he knows just how capable you are of doing things...he will, however, give you major royal treatment. you will be getting that shoulder massage 🙏🏾

-during days where your migraines are less brutal, he just keeps an eye out for you. makes sure stay hydrated and well fed.

-he does your chores for you during those extended periods, tearing his gloves off to stick his hands into your pile of dishes and clean them up for you. when you shuffle downstairs later in the day to put a cup in there, you find a small little note in front of your now cleared sink.

'hope i could lighten your load (get it) ♡ - e'

-and it was such a stupid joke that almost didn't make sense but you'd be lying if you said you didn't smile wide as fuck when you read it.

-during the extended periods of your migraine attacks, when you're just in bed, he brings you literally anything and everything.

-when you wake up from a nap you can almost always find him cuddled close to you, drool pooling into your pillow.

-and he does not mind leaving where you are just for you to go get some peace and quiet.

-it hits you like a train when you're out with him and a few of his friends. the stinging, pulsing cluster of pain forming behind your eye made you groan. "fuck, baby 'm sorry my head is just...killing me."

"hey guys, we're gonna head out, okay?"

"what? no, you don't have to leave, i can just—"

he flashes you what is the most loving glare you've ever seen and just gets up, ushering you along with him. silence fills the walk back between the lanes, gravel and wrappers crunching beneath your boots.

"i'm sorry." you murmur, smoothing your fingers across the arch of your brow. the way he looks at you when the words leave your mouth made you think he was offended by them.

"why are you apologizing?"

"i just...don't want you to always have to stop enjoying yourself just for me."

"nah, don't say that. it doesn't bother me. plus, it means i get to go home and chill out with you more often, i'm fine with that."

"yeah, but what if i'm just too much? what if you get sick of...doing all this?"

he scoffs, pulling his glove off and stopping you from walking so he can raise your chin, looking at you with eyes so determined but so gentle. his thumb swipes between your brows, making you relax them. "you're never gonna be too much for me. and i won't. ever."

-and trust me.

-he doesn't.

[insomniakisses]

Omggg how would omega r x omega Leah work?? Regarding to mating and claiming (that would be so cute staphhh ) I can only imagine the sass from Leah and the fact her purs sound deeper like an alphas would probably make omega r feel more safe

I can just imagine omega Leah constantly whisking away HER you heard .. H E R omega so the alphas are shit out of luck

The nest would probably be the cutest blend of masculine and feminine with two poutty omegas with swollen lips & covered necks

Omega!Leah x Omega!Reader General HCs

Meeting -

Obviously we know how they met, i did that small drabble but

Rs first day

She has scent patches on

Everyone thinks Leahs gonna be stand off ish and mean because she’s used to being the only omega at arsenal

They think she’ll be possesive of the alphas

But the second R comes in shes huffing over not being able to smell her

Grumpily tugging R to the nest and ripping the patches off to sniff at her and get her scent

Immediately deciding R is her mate now

Soft nest sex and cuddles after

Getting together -

They got together after the nest sex and cuddles

R sleeping in Leahs chest as leah held her so so so soooo close

Nibbling at your neck till her teeth break skin

It’s harder since shes an omega

But her teeth are sharper than a regular omega so she manages

Biting deep and flooding R with her venom and marking her as Leahs

This makes R very vulnerable and Leahs on high alert growling at anyone who passes by the door as R purrs deep asleep

When R wakes up Leah is ready for round 2

More messy sex and needy kisses

Then R has to really try to break Leahs skin to bite her mate mark

Once she manages Leah lets out her purr

She gets so shy and tries to stop it because its deeper and more rumbly than it should be

But R just kisses across her face and neck till Leah cant help purr and she compliments her

Telling Leah how safe her purr makes her feel and then purring RIGHT back

The two inseparable from then on.

Heats together -

Heats are hard being a couple of 2 omegas

There’s only so long they can go with just fingering, oral and tribbing

Their Omegas making them crave a knot

Its just their biology

If either wants one of the alphas then they just call

Sometimes they all come over if requested

Often the two just use toys.

Leah gets a knot toy

Its one of them straps that go in the wearer too

Both ends have the ability to knot with a click of the remote

They both vibrate too

Just the two if you taking turns using that and cum everywhere

Just needy messy sex and biting

Your heats lasts 2 weeks if theres no alphas so your all needy and sore by the end if it

Wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Nesting and mate stuff -

The two of you share a nest

Both at home and at the training grounds

Both of you just huddled together nuzzling and purring

Leah often nests more than you

She just sits in the pile of blankets till u find her pouting at u

Or if u take too long she’ll waddle out with a blanket around her from clear on her face and growling and shoving everyone away till she finds you

Then your being tugged away by her as she grumble “Mine” or “nest time now”

She often tugs you away from people

Bc ur hers not theirs

She hates the others around u

Hates when u smell like alpha or spend too much tike with one.

She needs you thats why

She didn’t know she was missing something till she met you

Now she can’t live without you

Your her baby and she’s yours

You guys have soft bonding time

Cuddles, soft sex, bathing

She loves bathing with you and washing you in her soaps so u really smell like her

And she uses yours ofc.

Just a soft, needy possessive baby that loves you more than anything.

She just wishes she could get you pregnant and have the family she wants with you naturally without the beed for all the medical stuff

[bigmacari]

hi cari! can i request hcs of swap, fell and fellswap (red or gold, you decide ^.^ or you can exclude it if it's too much) skelebros with a gn s/o who loves matching things with them? be it bracelets or clothes, those kinda stuff! hope u have a nice week <3

╭──────────────────.★..

US! Bros and UF! Bros x Reader

☆ S/O that loves matching with their skeleton

☆Warning(s) None

☆AuthorNote(s) Okay Imma be so fr, I didn't know that much about the fellswap AU'S and decided to look it up. I got ten times more confused, so until I got the characters down and learn about the AU more, please take this instead. Very sorry, didn't want to half ass it. But I hope you still enjoy ❤

..★.──────────────────╯

US! Sans (Blue) ☆

Matching bandanas!!!!!

Gave you a spare one so you can "ALWAYS HAVE A PIECE OF THE MAGIFICENT SANS!" Ever since, you added it to many outfits, rather that be around your neck or peaking out of your pocket. The first time you wore it around him, his eyes immediately morphed onto bright blue stars.

Matching bracelets are also common in your guys relationship. Some dates are spent making said bracelets. The two of you has one that has eachothers name on it. He thinks its adorable and cherishes it a lot.

US! Papyrus (Stretch) ☆

Matching necklaces!

I don't know why but I just get that vibe from him. You made a matching pair for a gyftmas present and Stretch hasn't took his off since (Made a promise that he would never take it off.) Its just something that wont slip off and get lost easily. This is great since he's messy and doesn't really know were things are half the time. Usually has it under his hoodie, on top of his shirt. So when Stretch takes his hoodie off, that's when you see it the most.

MATCHING SHIRTS

Really likes stupid shirts with dumb sayings and pictures.

HAAAAHHA

(Wears this one to piss off his brother.)

ALSO NAIL POLISH

Not sure how good that would work on a skeleton but he's so down to get his nails painted and match with you.

UF! Sans (Red) ☆

Matching sweaters!

Specifically the red one he wears underneath his coat. You surprised him with it on a random day and its safe to say that he love it. Says "it makes ya look hot." It also gives him a huge ego boost and he's glad that your willing to show off the fact that you're his.

Collar/choker?

I saw somebody say that collars on a monster in Fell AU's meant "hey they're protected fuck off" and I haven't been able to drop it. So I thought that maybe that can apply here? The thing is that collars are quite "eye catching" (really weird for humans to wear outside in public) So ya'll would settle for matching chokers instead.

UF! Papyrus (Edge) ☆

Matching jewelry!

Gold jewelry more often than not. Goes good with the red and black better. Prefers rings more than anything but as long as it looks good he doesn't care (he has to make sure that it doesn't get in the way of training though.) Likes the expensive look and wants his partner to match the same standard. So he puts in a lot of money during the holidays to make sure you have expensive stuff.

(One time he gave you a promise ring type thing and you lowkey thought he was proposing or something. He doesn't quite get human traditions yet 🤷‍♀️ Got all flustered when you told him.)

Matching scarfs?

You stole his cape (which I headcannon is just his old scarf from when he was a kid unfolded and made to look like a cape) from him once and he immediately told you to put it back. Later that week you ended up with a new red scarf on your bed. Takes pride in the fact that any monster would associate a red scarf cape with the "Terrible Papyrus" from a mile away. Like Red, Edge gets an ego boost from everyone knowing that your his and his only.

[miley1442111]

hii would love smth with sydney adamu x reader if ur still taking requests!! like literally anything just need more syd content haha

omg thank u for requesting sydney, there's like nowhere near enough stuff for her? like guys... she's amazing. anyways, I hope you enjoy, it's kind of short, so sorry about that :)

no-show

a/n: lowkey spoilers for season 2, episode 3- sundae, also I didn't really think of male! or fem! reader while writing so just imagine what you want :)

summary: sydney asks if you want to join her and carmen on some food tasting, how could you say no?

pairing: sydneyadamu x reader

warnings: general fluff, talk of parents dying, brief mention of lupus, brief mention of cancer, mention of crushes.

She was pretty. But… she was also technically your new boss. You, a new person on the waitstaff at The Bear, had been hired a month ago. For the past 4 days, you had been building the tables and chairs along with your new co-workers, they’re fine, all pretty normal people- nothing to write home about. But Sydney, your boss, she was amazing. She had been the one to orient you in the restaurant. She showed you where everything is and how everything works, but you were sure you’d forgotten all of it. You were too busy watching her.. You pushed those thoughts out of your head, for now, you just had to keep your head down, get to opening night. All anyone is focusing on is opening night. So, you keep working and finish the last table, when you notice Sydney standing and talking with Carmen. Carmen Berzatto was strange, in your opinion. He barely talked to her, yet she was his ‘business partner’? He refused to even send her a text when he basically told you all to start taking down walls more than a week ago, and she was rightfully upset. He walks away from her with a nod and you get up from under the table. She comes up behind you as you stretch your aching back. 

“Do you want to come with us? We’re just- our pallets are fucked and-” she starts to explain.

“Yes,” you say, probably too eagerly. 

“O-ok. Cool,” she smiles. “I’ll grab my stuff.”

You smile and follow her to the lockers. “So, where do you plan on going?”

“Just some places around, I know some people, Carm knows some people,” she shrugs and the nickname she has for him irks you slightly. There can’t be anything going on between them, right? 

“Will we wait for him?” You ask, pulling your jacket on.

“He’ll catch up,” she decides, leading out the back door and into the cold Chicago air. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A train ride, a short 10 minute walk, and a conversation with a waiter later, you sit across from Sydney, conversation flowing freely. You feel… comfortable with her. She’s awkward in an endearing way, kind in a way that's foreign to you, and so deeply interesting that you feel like you could talk to her forever. The food arrives, and it’s the best thing you’ve tasted in a while. Considering you’ve been living off of the same meal for the past three days (meal prepping is the only way you eat), this is like actual gold dust. Clearly your reaction doesn’t stay in your head, your eyes closing in satisfaction.

“Good right?” Sydney grins from across the table. 

All you can do is nod. And internally kick yourself for being so embarrassing. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carmen has been long forgotten. He was supposed to show, he didn’t, boo hoo. You don’t care. Sydney doesn’t care. Your day with Sydney has been nothing short of perfect. Good food, good company, and now, good ideas- on Sydney’s part, you were basically just here for the food and her. 

“So, what’s your favourite food?” Sydney asks, just on the walk back to The Bear. 

“Can I be honest?” You chuckle, a warm feeling within you shielding you from the cold. 

“Of course!” 

“When I was a kid, my mom made these nachos with like-just random cheeses on them, and then we’d dip them in this spicy sauce until our tongues would go numb,” you recounted fondly. “I forgot to ask for the recipe before she died.” Sydney’s face falls, and you can’t help but feel that you’ve ruined the moment, the day too, maybe. “S-sorry, I didn’t- it just slipped out-”

“It’s ok. My mom died too,” she explains slowly. “Lupus.”

“Cancer.”

“I’m sorry,” she smiles softly as you both stop just outside the restaurant. 

“I was like 10, it happened a while ago-”

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. 

“I’m sorry too,” you smile, the sound of blood rushing filling your ears. You want to kiss her. You want to kiss her so bad. So, you do.

You reach and hand out and cup her cheek, pulling her in to kiss you. She gasps at the sudden contact, but kisses back all the same. She tastes like the mint the last restaurant gave you both. Her arms wrap around your neck, a smile on her lips against yours. You pull away, opening your eyes. 

She looks beautiful, a smile on her perfect lips. The lips you just kissed. 

“Thank you for today,” you smile. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” you chuckle.

She rolls her eyes and kisses you again.

Wow. What a good day. 

[rjschoicesstuff]

My WTD x ID crossover au >:)

More info and art under the cut!

Lore stuff:

Vampires are immune to the zombie virus and in general they fight off especially normal drones relatively easily.

I loved the idea of the outbreak being what pushes vampires to reveal themselves and offer their protection, the humans in turn donating blood for the vampires to keep their strength and keep from bloodlust.

They build a big wall around the town and patrolling is the job of the vampires, I think it really comes in handy that they don't need sleep lol. At night they go out and hunt down any drones in the area. It's not like the humans do nothing tho, like everyone still trains to fight and defend themselves. Especially because during the solstice they really need to join in, especially because the vampires are useless outside the ley lines during the day. Vampires are the ones who travel go outside town for supply runs and stuff the most. But when it's further away they go by vehicle and some humans will join them in case they can't get home before sundown for whatever reason.

I think it might also be helpful that there's a lot of vampires who already lived in times where there wasn't electricity and stuff and can help figure out how to keep the town functioning best as possible.

All the adult humans get called in to donate their blood every now and then. I think most would be on board because of the protection they receive in return. People who refuse get casted out of town though..

On the trio:

They all cut their hair short for convenience, Ripley is everyone's hairdresser lol

I think Ripley is th 1st vampire tht gets bitten and they lock her in the Nexus dungeons for a week to see what happens lol. They keep doing this to any bitten vampire for a while til they feel like it's safe to assume they're all immune to the virus.

Cas and Ripley do more close combat and dont rly care abt being bitten while fighting while Gabriela fights with a crossbow and tries to take them out from a distance unless she's unable.

Of course the circumstances Suck but Ripley rly loves being able to be open about what she is to her friends..

If u add River to the mix:

River was born in december 2017, so at the time of the outbreak she'd be 7 years old.

I think some shitty elements would be less present because the trio can just always openly be River's parents.

Maybe they'd have Rain here too? Bc I like th idea of them having a kid that has never known the old world vs River who got to live it for 8 years.

But also the wacky age stuff isn't as present here because River would choose to turn when she's 17. Because usually her reasoning to stay human is because she just wants a normal life and like wants to keep her options and freedom. But that's just not possible here anymore anyway and with the added immunity she does take the opportunity.

Getting used to the vampirism is Hard for her though. I think she'd rly underestimate how hard it'd be because her parents Seem so well adjusted and umm not homicidal? She'd definitely have to hide in the Nexus for a while.

@choicescommunityevents

[jamiesfootball]

🌷🌸🌹🌺💐🌷

some flowers for u when u need them <3

You told me to get back here and fix it. So here is a small scene from a sequel to last week's prompt for "Did it ever occur to you that maybe we don’t want to see you get hurt?”

Jamie shifted to block his path.

“Look, don't worry about me and the grouchy dick, alright? I just wanted to say sorry for before. At the hospital.” The distance on Sam's face softened into something Jamie could reach. Yet all his teammate said was, “That isn't necessary.” “No, see, 'cause it is. I mean, I don’t really remember what I did to set you off. Mostly I just remember some yelling. But if you can remind me what it was, I want to apologise for it proper- take accountability and make amends and all that, you know?” Because before he could apologise, he needed to know what he'd done. Knowing what you were apologising for was a big part of taking accountability, Jamie knew that now. The part where he'd gone and gotten his head rattled by a midfielder with anger issues didn’t excuse his actions, and it didn't make it any less his fault. Whatever he’d done to drive Sam — Sam — to yell at him, it couldn’t’ve been good. Still, he didn’t know what he could’ve done that was so bad that just the mention of it had Sam’s face turning spoiled sick. With a hand pressed to his chest, the lad looked seconds away from fainting, the grip on his water bottle so tight it might burst at any moment. Before Jamie could ask how high a debt he’d be paying off for the rest of his life, Sam shook his head and said, “No. Jamie, no. No, that is not-“ Whatever it wasn’t apparently wasn’t worth mentioning, because Sam chewed through the distance between them in two large steps. His body barely had a chance to startle backwards before Sam had him in his grasp.

He cradled Jamie against his chest. Lean, capable arms wrapped tightly around his shoulder and lower back, avoiding the sore spots the doctors had pointed out like they were real injuries instead of short term inconveniences. Sam breathed in deeply, a long inhale followed by a welcomed exhale, and Jamie found his own breathing struggling to match the pace. He let his head drop onto Sam's shoulder; since he couldn’t have painkillers around the house right now, the headache was killing him. “I worry sometimes that we are speaking two languages,” Sam admitted quietly against his ear. “That if I am not careful, I will accidentally do something to harm you. “Nah,” Jamie argued. “I’m tough. Not much you could do to hurt me.” Sam hummed, a rumbly little noise that rattled into Jamie’s chest, clearing away the cobwebs. “Let me cook for you. Come over to my place tonight.”

Some things were just too good to last.

“Can’t." Jamie said, starting to pull away even though regret tugged between his ribs. “Roy said we could start training again, and I've got stuff I need to get ready. 'Sides, I’m not supposed to -“

Sam held him fast.

"Jamie, please," Sam begged. "Training can wait one more day. In the meantime, I would like to cook for my friend. Please. Come over. Let us fix things. He should say no. He had responsibilities, things he'd committed to that should feel more important than jumping at the chance to skive off and play tea party with his friends. But he was so so tired, and any excuse not to spend another minute at home was a fucking life raft, and Sam-

Sam looked so bloody hopeful. “Yeah, alright," Jamie agreed, allowing the life raft to drift him a little further offshore. "D’you want me to bring anything?” Sam squeezed his shoulders. “Thank you. And no, that isn't necessary. Do not worry- I will stick to your nutrition plan. Only if Coach asks, we will tell him that all the food was fried.” Jamie grinned. It didn't even feel like a chore this time. "Sound."

[kamiliora]

Too people who want to get "prettier" and have a "glow up" Do NOT expect it to go over night.

Plenty of people believed that you just become pretty with no effort like you see on TV. It's never that easy. It takes steps, processes and Discipline. Always start with the basics like :

Hygeine

Make a skincare routine for your skin

Know your skin type and build you skincare routine from there

body care for the entire body

Scrubs , lotions and body butters are a must

Exfoliate 1-2 times a week

haircare (hair is everything even if u have a hijab hair care is still possible)

Oil train your hair and know you hair porosity to know what products to use

Use a non sulphate or silicon shampoo

Conditioner and a hair oil of your choice based on your hair problem

Hair mask 1 times a week

Know ur hair pattern to be able to use the right products and not damage your hair pattern

Do not straighten your hair everyday!!!

Use Silk pillows and silk scrunchies instead of elastics!!!

Getting a closet and hair cut for you

Find your best colors and body type

Therefore you would know which colors make you shine the most as well as

Find your seasonal color and which fraction ur in (like winter bright , summer light and etc)

Find which type of hair cuts and bangs suit your facial featured and face shape most

I recommend looksmaxing or the Yt channel Dear Peachie to help you including makeup tutorials, which archetype you are and which closet you can do

Look for styles that match your personality and makes you stand out

Build up a hobby

like sports photography, drawing, crocheting, dancing, and etc.

Doesn't have to be time consuming just something to do when ur bored or free even

Also depends on your time to be careful on what you commit to

Try to explore more options without much costs before fully committing to something that isn't for long-term

Exercise ( unless you already do)

Exercise requires discipline for you to be able to do it continuously for progress

If you can't afford a premium membership take a walk/jog/run around the block,street,park

If you feel unsafe you can do a YouTube work outs as they are effective depending on your goal

I recommend channels like :Madfit ,Hinafit, Shirley kim, April Han, ema wong, and Chloe ting

Take time for yourself (not all the time)

If you dont have time for yourself your body and brain will get stressed (from experience)

It can be as simple as drinking your daily detox water, green juice, coffee, tea or reading a book

Get 8 hours of sleep

Make sure not to stress for something so complete a task when given no matter how far the deadline is!!!

Reduce screen time to 3 hours a day (outside of school/work related stuff)

Diet

Never go too extreme like you see those people online do

Unless you are talking to professionals such as dieticians, Nutritionists and etc. (Bc most public figures do have professionals that they seek help too for these types of situations)

stick to a healthy diet like the 80/20 method

Or you can also do keto/greek/high carb or protein just never go extreme as it will slow down your metabolism

Find who you really are and trying to be better

People never really open up to try different things you should try more to find what you like most or which you are most stable with

See the perspectives on how you act im different situations and see what your mistakes are to try to avoid doing them again

Fix your mentality (watch wizard Liz, Song Jia,) and read quotes to inspire you to do better and the most you can

Always Analyze the situation before commenting or doing action unless its an emergency

Do not let people decide for you or get to your head it is their opinion not yours. You opinion is never invalid and justified in your perspective

Confident vs Arrogant vs Egoistic

Confident people never brag nor do they drag people down. They know they are THAT person and will NOT care about your opinion of them.

Arrogant people like to Brag about something that they have and thinks their all That. They bring down people for not having the luxury they have. But when someone has more and better than them they always try to avoid them, argue with them or get annoyed by them as They want to show supremacy

Egoistic people tend to make fun of people. Self-centered people that only think about themselves without knowing or thinking that they hurt others. Their too preoccupied with themselves to think of others helps or needs

(Sorry its so long and unorganized I made this at 2:30 am bc idk and these are just some tips)

[allgoldenelite]

"We would have guys that frequent the dojo all the time, new applicants, new trainees, and I would feel like they would be there one day and then they'd be gone the next. And so I'd felt like, dang, these guys really lack discipline and they lacked dedication to the sport. So I need to know where these guys are at, can't just let them have a free ride here. Because if guys are moving all their stuff in just for one week later calling the U-haul in to take all their stuff out, it just gets annoying and we needed to create a new generation, we needed to create the future generation, especially once that I knew that I would be moving on to New Japan. It was really important to me to make sure that DDT's future would be okay.

And we had sort of known that Takeshita was gonna be around and that the company had put a lot of stock into him for the future, but one person, one athlete is not enough. And a lot of people had hoped or thought that Endo would be that guy. And so I started to put people through the ringer. And we had a park that was kinda near the house [dorm]. And I would do like my running training or my jogging over there, and I wanted to see, you know, what kinda stuff Endo is made of. And it wasn't that I wanted him to beat me, it wasn't that I was purposely trying to break him or anything like that, I just wanted to see if he had the heart to try and keep up.

And I actually went to the park and I made sure that I went with another wrestler who the company didn't have that much stock in and was only there just to visit, and I wanted to compare the levels of dedication. I wanted to see who wanted it more. And so i took this wrestler from Chile, named Guanchulo, someone who came from an area that had a scene but his dream was to make it in Japan. So I knew that he was dedicated, I knew that he had the passion. so did Endo? So I went to the track, we went to run. And the first lap is tough but then the second gets worse and then the third one kinda gets into this weird place where you don't feel anything or whatever. But then from lap four onward it gets really rough. And at that point too my knees were already pretty shoddy, not as bad as they are now. But, you know, they would hurt after a while if I would run too much or just use them too much. And Endo quit a lap and a half in. And I said, "Endo, you're out, get out. Go home, you're done, you don't got what it takes, you need to find what it is deep in here [points at chest]. And then you come back and let me know if you wanna be a wrestler." And he was sad. And from that day onward he took more interest in bodybuilding, I started to see him study more tapes. And he only studied, like, oldschool TNA AJ Styles, but hey, I mean, nothing wrong with that. I mean, that's a great person to look up to. And I've been there.

So it was great to see him watch more tapes, he started to take his diet more seriously, he started to train more, I saw him buying more weights for the house, he started a subscription to Muscle Fitness, and you started to see it. Little change, little by little by little. And now, if you've ever seen him live, he's completely changed his appearance, he's kinda, himself and the aid of others have catapulted him to the upper echelon of [DDT, he mistakenly says AEW], he's higher up in the card.

So did I train him, like wrestling-wise? No. Can I even take credit? No. I tried to, I wanna say it was because of me, but I was there for the beginning of that process, or when he had that revelation that he was gonna take it more serious and become the person that i guess he was destined to become in DDT.

DDT had always thought for sure that they had a future with Endo and Takeshita. And I think they knew that Takeshita's dreams were in the west, they knew that he wanted to make a run for it more on an international scale. And I think Endo they wanted to make more like the domestic star, and I think they'd gotten themselves into a position where they could do that. And where Takeshita is now, I think his main contract is with AEW and Endo is still over in DDT. And he held the belt for a while, he was doing stuff in the tag division, I mean he's always high up on the card. And he's doing really well for himself.

And obviously, if you guys here have seen Takeshita in AEW or maybe some of the promotions he's appeared for like PWG or DPW or what have you, he's been doing great there too." Kenny talking about his wrestling sons Takeshita and Endo on stream (starts at around 24:37)

[randobisexual]

hi, hey, and hello! i saw that your requests were up and was wondering if you could maybeee do some ed x reader headcannons

It can be platonic or romanic [that is up to u!] But if you get the chance could you maybe write some stuff for ed and reader?

If not that's a-okie!

hope this finds u well!

-anon who's a fan of ed (^v^)

Theres been a few other people who requested for me to make something for an ed x reader, with someone also wanting a ed x bisons kid kinda thingy, so I'll just merge your request with theirs. Hopes that's OK! Also, apologies in advanced, I've only played the bare minimum of sf6, and don't know anything about the other games, so sorry if I hecked up.

●you were y/n. Yet another shadaloo experiment who was given the "blessing" of psycho power.

●you managed to escape later in life, and struggled to find a safe place, always being hunted by people of shadaloo

●you had to stay constantly on the move. Though they were weakened due to their leader, your father, kicking the bucket, they still had their hold on certain people, such as the brainwashed folks, so therefore, you often had to stay one step ahead of shadaloo. You didn't want to go back, and you knew that in every confrontation with them, there was always a chance to be killed or worse, captured, so you were always running away.

●however, after a few months on the run, you ran into neo shadaloo. More specifically, Ed, the German boxer.

●you saw him fight off a group of shadaloo folks and use his psycho power, and after which, you hesitantly approached him and explained who and what you were, taking out the fact that bison was your old man, for obvious reasons

●he was skeptical at first, until you used your psycho power for the first time in a while as to prove who you said you were.

●after which, he decided to bring you to the other members of neo shadaloo in order to have you join them

●from then on, you joined neo shadaloo, and you and the others became a sort of family, getting close to everyone, and especially ed. You even fell for him

●however, you eventually had to spill out the secret of your heritage, and ed... Ed was conflicted.

●the person he had considered his best friend, and the person he had developed some feels for, was the kid of the guy who put them through all this shit?! It was absurd to him, and for the first few minutes of the confession, he was in denial about it all

●he became cold for a few days to even weeks, trying to come to terms with the fact that you were the kid of bison

●eventually, he came around, slowly opening up to you once again

●it was also a few weeks later that he confessed.

●still didn't hold back much in training, but always took extra time to care for your injuries.

●he was a tsundere, being somewhat cold as he was to most, but would also occasionally be much more soft and warm to you.

●he also taught you how to box, and you and him also talked with one another about everything shadaloo related, and also about the psycho powers the both of you had

●he also would cuddle you to sleep every night, and when In private, was soft, always showing affection to you

●he also almost always has a arm around one part of your body, like around your waist or shoulder

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

I need to do a whole... Post. On life and what's coming up. But it's SO overwhelming.

Edit: this became a really messy overview of it. Tldr is that I'll be in Oregon and Washington for an unknown period of time.

We have to be out of our current place by the end of February.

I have a friend who is gonna take Kono and Emily for us after that, so I'll only have Socrates with us as we face potential homelessness.

I am trying to break all of our tasks down to their base level but the overall gist is:

Whittle down our possessions by Quite A Lot.

Get all of the trash out.

Get caught up with T-Mobile and cancel my brother's line, preferably before the 21st. Unsure how do.

Keep leash-training Socrates.

Sell/toss/give away everything we can part with to raise money and narrow shit down.

Pull futon chair out of room and deep-clean. Sand the frame down and paint it. Deliver it to Weed Daughter.

Clean out closet, break down desks. One is staying with me, one is going to Adrienne. We're getting rid of like all of our furniture except for a desk, a table, and a bookshelf.

Figure out the base minimum items we need and want with us at any given time. Like... Clothes, meds, glasses/contacts, phones, toiletries, etc.

Fix the car. I have some of the parts but I need more, and I need to heavy detail clean it, and it needs an oil change.

Clean out and defrost the big freezer, because landlord will take money off my debt for this, and because I can figure out what can be salvaged or not.

Pack the things we're keeping but don't Need All The Time. Needs to be in plastic where possible.

Get a storage unit (and hopefully pay for it several months in advance) and move the keep items into it. Some items that can't be exposed to the elements (electronics, makeup) will stay at my daughter's house, but not everything.

Clean both cat boxes out deeply so that one can be at Tab's and one can be with me.

Rent a U-haul to take a massive load to the dump, and the two pieces of furniture I'm giving to Adrienne to her place.

Buy cat carriers.

Move the Bare Minimum plus camping gear into the car.

Move the bed to Tab's house because she may be able to let us stay with her until mid-March, and it would be a good transition for the cats, since two of them are staying there.

Get a copy of Raven's birth certificate.

Get all of Raven's therapy records and medical records compiled and printed out in duplicate (one for the medical binder, one for the courts). Gotta do the same for me.

Deep-clean the rooms we're in currently, possibly paint them.

Replace the flooring of the bathroom (minimum) and possibly the bedroom and walk-in closet, because it was all installed badly. Not technically my problem, but if I fix the floors and walls, landlord will take away from the money I owe him. I also would like to replace the lighting fixture because it's been dead since before we moved in, and he takes money off for parts AND labor.

Get a tow hitch installed on the car. If I can find a teardrop trailer that would be phenominal. But even just a small hauling trailer, or a freight platform, to keep stuff in/on? Would be great.

(There's laminate flooring already for the bathroom. I'd hit the Habitat for Humanity store for the rest of the flooring, cuz it's cheap af.)

Clean the den and porch that we use off.

Officially move out.

And when we're done with all of that, I have to do this stuff:

Move into Tab's for two weeks.

Stay with daughter for a few days while I take care of some stuff with a friend in Sparks.

Buy a PO Box for six months in Salem, OR.

Pack us, our stuff, and Socrates into the car and drive.

Drive to Contra Costa County (~4 hours away in the Bay Area of California) to get a copy of MY birth certificate.

Drive to Oregon.

Because we can't get approved for any of the low-income housing in this area until we get Raven's legal issues in Oregon sorted out.

If anyone has a couch we and one (1) orange dumbass cat could crash on for a few days, let me know, because the current plan is to just Be Homeless.

Raven has to turn themselves in up in Hermiston. We don't know how long they'll be in jail. It could be one day, it could be six months. They thought they were in compliance, and they were, but the courts don't know that, so we need to prove they've been doing what they were supposed to.

Before we do that, we want to see some friends. One in Washington and one in Salem. We also need to get Raven's state and national park passes because then I can get free/cheap camping while they're in jail.

If Raven's incarceration is going to take longer than a month, I'll go get the job in Salem at the T-Mobile call center. It's waiting for me, essentially. I'll get a little shithole apartment somewhere nearby and go across the state to visit them every week, and use the time to save up some money. But we don't know.

That's the worst part, is the Not Knowing. I don't like not knowing a timeline. I'm chronically late anyway, I don't need this in my life.

But if I do the T-Mobile thing, I'll be able to pay off our debts. Including the child support (we've been trying to catch up on that but it's so much and Raven was homeless for a lot of it).

But I'll also be in Oregon - unideal for me - and alone.

It's just. A lot. And it needs to be done in a very short time, with very little money.

I have pondered a gofundme, and selling like, cat toys (bc I can sew and crochet them on the cheap). But I don't have the time to invest in making things to sell, and I don't want to do a gofundme again. I also considered a small kickstarter to like, buy materials to make toys and clothes and stuff, once we go to Oregon, and send out to backers. I have been trying and failing to find a job.

I'm just so tired.

[bfwonho]

AITA but i dont wanna use reddit

ok you know what here is the situation. my (only recently) 20 yr old friend (i met them four years ago when we both worked at mcd) lived with their strict, emotionally abusive, overprotective parents until recently. their parents would confiscate tech for yrs at a time, wouldn't let them get vaccinated (i had to help them do that), guilt and shame them, etc. also obviously homophobic and my friend is transfem nb and queer. theyre also the eldest sibling of quite a few and had to handle the pressure of that responsibility and their parents never wanted them to do normal things like getting a car and moving out. i was always there encouraging them even when we stopped working together bc i was like fuck this naive gullible homeschooled kid has no one and they remind me of my younger sibling and im gonna be there for them as much as i can. the only reason they even got a car eventually is cus i kept telling them to so they cld move out

cut back to barely a year ago, they're still so naive and gullible they've lent like 1k+ to ppl who won't pay them back, but they still have like 10-20k in savings and now their own car. they also get into digital art with my help and get into furry porn or whatever. im like ok i guess ur an adult now do what u want. and then theyre like "ive got an online partner from CANADA!!! (we r australian) don't freak out i know it's bad but he's 30." i'm like oh god. they've been together 3 months ish and my friend RLY wants to visit their fuckass boyfriend and i'm like please be careful, please wait at least a year, i know u wont wanna listen to how i rly feel about this but at least just take these precautions. i'm also like when you do meet irl he should come here ur barely 19 and he's 30 like it only makes sense. and theyre like "thank u i promise i will do that"

and then maybe 10 or 11 months into their relationship i find out my friend is in canada with their bf, and has been for like a month, and i only know this bc they're asking if i can pick them up from sydney airport. im like errr that's pretty far away but take the train and i'll pick you up from the station and they're like ok sure! and i ask a bit more about it and find out they believe their parents have been hacking into their laptop because why else would they be suspicious that this canadian guy is their boyfriend, i'm like actually no offense but it's really fucking obvious i don't think they did that... and they're like "yeah anyway my parents are no longer picking me up which is why i need a lift, i admitted i have a boyfriend and they're calling him a pedo (and i almost agree but i just smile and nod) and so i'm not going back and taking their bs anymore, i'm gonna sleep in my car if i have to" so i offer for them to stay at my place for a few weeks.

they go get their stuff from their place, i buy them a pizza cus they havent had dinner, i help them get their stuff inside, set up a temporary bed. they tell me they plan to be out within a few days, i tell them they can stay longer if they need to, but currently their only job is doordash and they should focus on getting a real job so they can find a place and i'm more than happy to help them find somewhere. theyre the type of person to say sorry for everything and not let themselves ever feel comfortable, so i make sure they know they can use the kitchen and bathroom and everything while they're here and to not feel like a huge burden, im gonna be charging them a tiny bit of rent anyway so yeah.

now tell me why it's been over a month, they've applied to only a few places, i specifically put in a good word with them at my job and told them to call back and ask about the application and they just haven't, they've just been doordashing and filling my entire fridge and cupboard with their food, i tell them to use the laundromat cus we don't have enough space for their washing too and they end up asking if they can use our washing machine anyway (i reluctantly say yes), they destroy all my kitchen sponges on washing this one shitty pan i have cus they have to cook an entire grand meal from scratch for breakfast lunch and dinner, they wash up but i'm the only person who cleans the floors and the bathroom so now i'm feeling cramped and stressed out...

i ask my mum about what to do, she says give them 2 weeks to move out, my mum is a guarantor on my lease so in the group chat i explain the situation and say they have 2 weeks, they NEVER RESPOND and start not coming home until late at night... i'm considering moving into another place with a friend atp so i'm like yo maybe you can get on this lease and THEN they respond and start showing up again... and today i called and updated mum on the situation and her partner got on the phone, me and my sibling only got this place cus he apparently called in a favour cus we were rly struggling to find any fucking housing, and so he says "tell him i mean THEMMM if theyre not out tomorrow i will forcibly remove them" and so my sibling makes sure to tell them this face to face so they cant avoid actually responding. i also find out today that this whole time they've been flat broke (to the point they had to borrow my money just to get petrol despite doordashing like 40 hours a week) because they HAVE BEEN HELPING. PAY. THEIR GROWN ASS. SHITTY FUCKING USELESS. PARTNERS. RENT. THIS GROWN ASS MAN NOT ONLY HAD THEM PAY TO GO SEE HIM AND SUCK HIM OFF AND COOK FOR HIM. NOT ONLY WAS LETTING THEM GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND JUST BE HOMELESS. BUT HE IS ACTIVELY TAKING THEIR FUCKING MONEY. despite all of this i am deep down INCREDIBLY GLAD that my mum's partner put his foot down to get them out of my house and i feel guilty about it despite risking eviction cus im breaking my lease agreement by having them here loooll

tldr my 20 yr old friend has been living in my house illegally for over a month bc they refuse to go back to their shitty parents, they are however broke and don't have a stable job and their 30 yr old boyfriend is leeching off of them, and now i'm essentially kicking them out of my place within 2 days because my own housing security is at risk

[sankttealeaf]

this is late but any out of 14,18,22,24,27 for the writer asks? <3

this is also a late response but here we go<3 answering these fic writer asks!

14. where do you get your inspiration?

mainly when i'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep. i like to just put my guys into situations and sometimes i come up with good things. i have a lot of bad spoon days so i'm stuck in bed just thinking about things

the market scene in let sleeping dogs lie where gortash buys rue a cat figurine and she breaks it came from a week last december where i got sick and couldnt do much except lay in bed. i had that scene planned months before i would ever need to write it :')

i'm always thinking of situations!! its not a bad coping mechanism if i'm getting something out of it, right?

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

a scene from a cut chapter where gortash takes rue to a fancy dinner to get her to kill someone for him - this got turned into the party chapter :) the gift in question are her little dagger earrings but i ended up making gortash give them to her later on as a thank u for looking after him post-cania

She rolls her eyes. “Maybe we should sleep together. That way I’ll be rid of you.” “You would miss me.” “I wouldn't. Not when you keep putting me in shitty clothes like this.” “You look divine. I think you should let me dress you up more often. You would look exquisite covered in fine jewellery and expensive fabrics. Speaking of-” He takes out a small box from the inside of his coat, the sudden loss of his hand against her leg feels odd and Rumour takes this moment to put her feet back down on the floor. Gortash hands her the box. “If you’re proposing, at least get on your knees,” she says as he laughs. “Do you think of me often on my knees?” “Yes.” She takes the box from him. “It is required to kneel before me in the temple. You could do with following that rule.” “It would take more than that to get me to kneel before you.” He sits back, waiting for her to open the box. “You, on the other hand, would look delightful on your knees in front of me.” “Think of me often like that?” she repeats, an eyebrow raised and a smirk across her face. “I’m certain that me kneeling before you has nothing to do with being a devout follower of the Gods.” “What you could do on your knees is something the Gods only wish they could do.” “I’m not getting you off, Gortash.” “You don’t have to be kneeling to do that.” He nudges his leg against hers. “Open the gift.”

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

i used to! bad in the early days of sharing my durgetash stuff i was worried that people would find me weird for being on the gortash train, but as time has gone on there's a (relatively) nice community for durgetash now which has eased my worries

i also think i'm at the point in my life where i dont really care if people think what i'm writing is too much or whatever. i write for myself & share it in case anyone else wants to read it, but at the end of the day its for me. idc what people may think!!

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

i try and do something else completely! i also draw, so i tend to flip-flop between writer mode and artist mode a lot which is great! i also listen to a lot of music to help get me in the zone. but sometimes the best cure is to not do anything at all and wait it out !!

27. your favorite part of the writing process

daydreaming about all the ideas i have and planning them down into vaguely coherant points

and also writing the parts i really really am excited for and can visualise so clearly in my head

[thegoodsideofinternet]

To the moon and back, and way the loop goes!

Back and back after a too long break (yes I like ignorance towards things I love to do BREAKS).

There is nothing special about this one, this is just a rr sesh (termed for venting to someone, here its just me, writing in diary seems inappropriate as I have been writing 20 pages in every exam since last week) to myself just to laugh at (or be amazed) while reading this in future (please tumblr, don't shut down I don't have backup of the stuff I post here.)

I'll Just part these in chapters (meanwhile writing, just thought this would make me thank me for making it more readable)

CHAPTER 1: THE DREAMS

This one is all about the stuff I have been thinking about all this time getting over liking someone so so much that dreams are being affected. Its the same nightmare I used to have about mummy, where it used to be a mouse holding hands with mummy and taking here away, but here, the characters are real, each and every single one. I have tried all the stuff that internet says, to not have conversations, to not see them physically, but I don't think anything's helping.

In just the right time, I came across Pewds talking about his journey of tracking dreams. I tried to do the same, which made me realize, all the dreams are random, and in those random stuff, some things, lingering in the mind, start making a lot of sense and then you see THE DREAM, of the girl you love to the core, being with a very real person, and it's just that I actually remember the pain it makes me go through.

Still having them, but keeping myself busy helps waking up and forgetting them for the rest of the day, but I think its getting better meanwhile I am getting in peace with myself.

CHAPTER 2: THE EXISTENTIAL PROBLEM

This one is a little bit personal, which I would rather keep to myself. There was a certain position of responsibility I started chasing just out of curiosity for the sake of trying out for the experience of it. It was the moment I took the job personal, when I came to know A (no ones reading this but taking name still doesn't feel right) is also trying for the same. It kind of became a personal passion to become an IC so that, firstly, I could prove I can do good stuff (yes, now I realize it was foolish), second, just thought of the possibility of spending more time together (this one felt right). Even after both of us getting the por, a lot of stuff happened, and now, that I have been promoted, there is no person in the team I would like to be with. With her not being along, it made me realize I have done most of the stuff to be with people, or to rather say, please them.

Since that thought, I have been having serious existential crisis about the stuff I really want to do, and the things I want to do with my life and the people around me, did realize I have some side quests like running REAL marathons, is the reason for which I started training weights (apart from a wakeup call from heaven to be healthy), second being the making a REAL music band. There is a lot of stuff to do, but too less time. This part of myself is a lot better now, I am in peace with myself being a tap, and now have reasons for myself rather than anyone else.

CHAPTER 3: Thoughts on Love

Love is something I still have positive opinions about. I have had crushes in school and even in college and have been a paglu for all of it. But it was+ the slow and gradual feelings that I developed for A since the first year, right from the first text about her asking about Gaurav Singhania really being a Singhania XD, I have detailed stuff beautifully written how I felt all along.

What really hurt me was when I opened up to her about this, she remembers only the time spent after the ic elections. But that's how it is right? Life is not the same for everyone.

What I respect her is for the space she provided me even after me opening up. I do feel she doesn't really wants be around, but still, talking sometimes helps.

What I respect her is for unknowingly being the person which made me feel what actual love for someone feels like. Its totally irrational, with no logic. I think I'll be writing about it in details separately in a different space of mind, but the point I am trying to put here is I FELT IT, and love what I felt, and really cherish that.

I keep getting into the loops of getting into those thoughts, getting out, feeling better and back. It is painful, beautiful and everything in between. That is what the title came from, to the moon, thinking "what if it happens?", to back, thinking "We both have so much more to do other than this". Its difficult, but its all good!

I really intend to send the next bit of a poem by Nayab Midha, named CHAAND, so I guess the title is explained properly. Have been experimenting with hindi literature and turns out I actually like it too, sometimes even more than the other languages. The beautiful words really resonated my feelings for her, form the start, till now in present, where I still feel strongly for her, but we both have interests better than this, she has to find men better than me, I have to find things better than now to not let her get into my heart again. It is a bit mainstream, and in the pigeonholed view, she doesn't like mainstream stuff, but still, its beautiful, just like her.

The poem by the way goes like this:

मुझे चाँद देखना पसंद है

उसे चाँद सा दिखना पसंद है

वो भी अपने दाग नहीं छुपाती

आँखों में काजल, माथे पे बिंदी नहीं लगाती

होंठों को उन्हीं के हाल पर छोड़ देती है

मुस्कुराते ही समझ के सारे बंध तोड़ देती है

उसे कौन सिखाए सजना-सँवरना

बदल न जाए इस दुनिया का हाल वरना

(best part incoming, sorry for interrupting)

सोचो अगर वो काजल लगा ले

एक दफा बस उलझे बाल सुलझा ले

ये ज़माना अपना रुख न बदल ले

हर कोई उसके साथ न चल दे

हवाएँ रुक न जाए उसे ��ेखने को कहीं

मैंने जबसे देखा है, हूँ मैं वहीं

उसे देखा है जबसे, होश आने लगा है

ज़माने का सारा ख़ौफ़ जाने लगा है

उसे कोई तोहफ़ा देने को जी चाहता है

मगर उसके लायक कुछ कहाँ आता है

वो काजल-बिंदी, गालों पे रूज़ नहीं लगाती

वो कानों को झुमकों तले नहीं दबाती

उसे उड़ना पसंद है

सोचता हूँ उसे हवाएँ दे दूँ

उसके पंखों को दिल की सदाएँ दे दूँ

फिर सोचता हूँ,

वो क्या करेगी मेरे फिज़ूल के इशारों का

उसकी हँसी का अपना कारोबार है बहारों का

उसे मेरी ज़रूरत नहीं,

वो आज़ाद है किसी भी क़ैद से

मैं उसे मोहब्बत में भी क्यों बाँधूँ

ये दुनिया बाँध देगी उसे मुझसे

वो मेरे नाम के कंगन पहन भी लेगी

आँखों को घूँघट से ढँक भी लेगी

मगर रहेगी क्या वो, जिसकी चाह निकली थी मेरे मन से

मुझे उसके दागों से मोहब्बत है, है उसके अल्हड़पन से

मेरे दिल में जब भी इस प्यार का इज़हार आता है

मुझे उसकी आज़ादी का ख्याल आता है

यही सोचते हुए उसकी गली से रुख मोड़ लेता हूँ

तीरची आँखों से देखा हूँ उसे और बस छोड़ देता हूँ।

I would really give anything for this to happen, but I know it won't.

I don't check the boxes she has for the man she wants, maybe I don't look that good, or whatever, she'll be the best woman i have met, and nothing is going to change that, nothing would. But, I would also like this to be the final expression of these feelings to myself as I don't want this to happen ever again, this type of attachment is something I can't go through again, and that's the beautiful thing, I won't.

wise man signing off (for this week ofc)

EXELSIOR

[xweetok-starmap]

Went out on my first walk outside since my surgery!

Figuring out the logistics of “how do I put on enough layers to keep myself warm when I have access to a limited wardrobe” and ALSO “how do I make sure I can take off the layers if I need to, so I don’t overheat (which would make me quickly become dizzy and pass out probably)” was a little tough — also just in general being able to put them and my shoes on in the first place was kind of difficult with the restraints keeping my arms to my sides — but it went alright.

The walk itself was really nice! I took part of the route that I’d take if I was walking over to my boy’s home — not that I’d actually walk over there right now, I just had to pick a direction — and while the chest compression vest that I’ll have to continue to wear for ~3 more weeks definitely makes things a little more tiring than they should be (it’s not dehabilitating like a chest binder is though; since this one is built to be worn for a month straight pretty much and chest binders can only really be worn for ~8 hours at a time safely), I felt like I was able to walk at very nearly the same walking-outside pace that I was used to pre-surgery. (I gained my like . . . normal walking around the house speed back ~4 days after surgery?  Still re-coordinating my arm movements with my legs though, since not being able to move from the shoulder kind of messes up that muscle memory.)

Singing on the walk was nice because (now that I don’t have weird scratchiness in my singing voice from the breathing tube from when under anesthesia anymore) it felt like I hadn’t lost any sort of practice.  It also felt like my voice could reverberate a lot more powerfully in my chest?  Like, there wasn’t any “funky soft tissue to absorb the shock and get in the way of expressing the voice outwards” I guess, is kind of what it felt like?  I was definitely a fan of that.

I turned around to go back to where I started fAIRLY early on, since I didn’t want to potentially get tired and “have” to walk 10 more minutes or anything like that . . . 

but then I just had a lot of fun with walking around in the fairly uneven grassy yard near the train tracks absolutely FULL of cars.  Soooo many cars.  I really appreciated seeing the car that looks just like my dad’s daughter’s car (very similar body) and thinking about how the shell, the doll, is the same; but the spirit of the car is totally different /fond grins/ I was out there for who knows how long, at least a full music album, just looking at all of them while crouching and squatting and abdominal bending to be able to see (my eyesight’s way worse than my dad’s or uh . . . almost anyone I know) and moving around the terrain, and balancing my body strictly with my legs and my core while keeping my arms & shoulders completely relaxed to my sides.  It felt kind of like I was some sort of 2 legged goat or something. The core/leg balance is a lot better WITHOUT my arms being up, too.  At one point my earpieces (bluetooth) died and so I tried holding up my phone so that I could hear my music on the speaker . . . but that really messed up my balance.  I had walked over this like . . . giant metal criss-cross piece? like it was absolutely nothing before, but with my one arm up it was like “no it’s so easy to lose balance and get a foot stuck and almost lose a shoe when balancing over metal, don’t you know?” it was weeird.

I already led a very physically active life before my surgery.  After my surgery I’ve still been moving around a lot, but of course absolutely everything has been balanced with my legs and core so . . . the amount of control there has gotten /satisfied toothy grins/ really good.  I’ve just been like . . . squatting constantly to reach stuff?  It’s felt like the pure opposite of after my hysterectomy — after that surgery, I couldn’t engage my core at all and so getting out of bed was difficult.  Versus after the bilateral mastectomy, I’m just here like “time to sit up from lying down using absolutely nothing but my abdominals” and nonsense like that /laughs/  my spouse was really surprised at how much mobility I had when he visited the other day.

(Oh yeah, that was a really special visit . . . towards the end I was lying against his chest and I was like.  “You know . . . I never once thought that I would be post-top surgery and doing this with you.”  since he’s like.  a really straight boyTM.  We’d broken up due to him being unable to deal with me Uncovering Me; then I moved out; then I started pursuing body stuff I’d wanted to do a long time but had repressed due to the situation I had available to survive in; we kept talking since I _was_ still his best friend; it kind of felt like we’d probably be on some kind of “timer” for a while though of how long we could still really talk due to me pursuing body stuff; but uh . . . well here we still are!  It’s sweet.  Turns out getting absolutely massive tonsils that were obstructing his airways, and now he can breathe better (oh he sleeps sooo much better it’s so good), means he’s a lot less cranky and more open, all the time.  haha.)

 I feel like my form is generally better, too?  because I can’t reach things with my arms for the most part _anyway_, I have to move my body down in a really controlled proper manner to get to them to where I CAN reach things.  So I haven’t really . . . gotten any of that sort of “every day accidental slouching back pain”. Makes me feel like most arm assistance when moving around is “cheating” and I should avoid doing it unnecessarily _all_ the time /laughs/  Well I still got 1 week with the arm restraints . . .

ETA oh I get my drains removed tomorrow, too! I know that before my surgery I said that ‘they will probably be terrible’ but honestly there isn’t any specific sensation this entire time that I have really attributed to the drains themselves, other than an occasional “fluid movement” feeling. Where they come out is PROBABLY the part of the incision that is most itchy/uncomfortable, but that’s also like . . . the bottom of the incision (mine are vertical) so that part is probably always going to be the most itchy?? I’m sure that when they’re out, I’ll instantly notice a difference . . . but I’ve kind of been referring to the bulbs as “my li’l buddies” this whole time. I think because the texture on them reminds me a little bit of the stripes on the Goobi OC I saw right after I got my IV in. So I’ll also get to see everything for the first time tomorrow (I woke up with the compression vest and a bunch of gauze underneath & the drains in already) which will also be nice!

Other than healing itchiness there isn’t really any pain anymore . . . lots of inflammation though. And there are a lot of stretches that I cannot do to reduce leg soreness.

Ooh, ooh it’s always really fun walking in front of the (inadequately small inside of this house) mirrors and seeing a side view and thinking “this looks sooo much flatter than what my binders could achieve <3” and that’s only with . . . the total weight of what was sent to the lab was only 0.93 pounds. Between the two surgeries (the lab pathology for my hysterectomy was only like, 9 grams if I remember right) I still haven’t QUITE! had “a pound of flesh” cut off, haha. Maybe with all the body hair killed from electrolysis it would just barely reach 1.0 . . .

[onmymasa22]

Important notice

I have officially converted.

I have been a member of the church of tasters choice for the past few years. And i have realized the error of my ways. And when Jacobs found me, I was confused and alone. I was told to just buy the green bottle and all my tasters choice past would be forgiven. I hope that you, too, know, if u are ever at your lowest, jacobs will save you, with a coffee that smells more like coffee.

Can we just take a second. Why is there not a stand up bit on donald trumps fifty names? Could his parents not decide?

So im a girl who would much rather be called funny than pretty. Funny takes work, funny risks things. I will make a total and utter fool of myself to get whoever to laugh. I will

Unless im with u, i dont need to be called pretty. Favorite compliments: i love and cant get enough of for a boost: wow, ur really funny. And "hey, i remember u, u were the nicest one there"

Unless im with u, there

U know what compliments girls cant get enough of?

Being acknowledged for how smart we are.

Yes, im a ditz sometimes, especially if theres something funny there, but someone acknowledging that im smart is a surefire way to become my favorite.

When people remember you for being nice. My grandmother told me since i was about 5, U r pretty. Its a fact. Ur never gonna have to worry about boys liking u. U just need to work on ur insided. Work on being nice. Its more important to be nice than right i was told. Make sure ur inside is a nice place to be. And i constantly work on being nice, being a good person, loving myself and spreading that to loving others. Its not easy when ur trying to find the balance between having debilitating social anxiety where talking outloud is not something easy, and having a

One time i was at a party and something funny happened spur of the moment, and i made

Oh how i love getting to be a fourth year art student who can say- this is my screw it era. Screw it, i want to make the art art that i want to make, screw it, screw u, screw it all. You get one shot at living the dream of going to art school. Plenty of ppl can think "what if i studied what i really wanted instead of whatever majes money" and u know what? The bachelors of fine arts i will have in july is really a culmination of taking 4 years to learn about myself. To stydy the way i think about things. To be better at comunicating my ideas proficiently and eloquently.

These 4 years, while also being hard, having days that i cried at the end or in the middle of it, days that i yelled, days that i wanted to slam all the doors that exist in the world. They were also days of dancing, days of long hugs, days of music playing while we sat in the sun drawing trees with charcoal. Days we joked, days we told stories. Days we had real honest to gd conversations, infront of everyone, or privately. Our class wasnt like any other class that shared the building with us. I can say that in college, i went to school with 15 of my best friends. We were all best friends. We all started the day giving hugs. We all ended the week on a tuesday of Wednesday saying good shabbos. We shared dinners and cake and breakfast. We helped eachother out, with thought processes, building stuff, or watching everyone's kids. We saw our friends have babies. We danced at weddings. We held eachother during breakdowns or panic attacks. From coffee dates, to pizza, ice cream, trips to the kotel, gan Sacher, museums, trains, buses, cars, galleries, homes, grocery stores, holidays. Taken test together. We have all given pieces of ourselves to eachother. What an honor. When they tell us that we had a good class, thats really what it is, we had a really good class.

U know what i love about going to a religious college? That when i whatsapp my favorite teacher that I'll be showing up 2 weeks late because of flight cancelations, the first thing she says is "r u by rabbeinu?"

U want for life to be dofferent and u hate ur life. But ur ok. U will do what u want to do. Go buy the chiffon u want. Make the shawl u want. Be the girl you want. Do what you want. Be as much you as u can. This was a bad trip. Ok. Some r good. Some r bad. It happens. Now in a week u get to get up. Amd just be u. Ull paint a scarf in greece on the beach. Before u know it, ull b having a blast in israel.

Whst do u do wjen u have been using the excuse of "sorry, im not in the country right now" to get out of seeing ppl u dint want to see, when u go back to real life? Can someone give a

New motto: I can't, I have plans tonight.

When ur writing a paper on jewish history and art and u have so many gaps is ur geography and history knowledge. Like all of navi has no sequence in my brain. All i know is that we were in the desert 40 years and a bunch of years later, we were in exile.

When you are trying to figure out jewish history cuz the last time they actually tried to teach u navi was fourth grade and u were probably doodling, so theres a huge gap, where ur like "why did we want a king" and "where did we all go" amd "why were we so divided"

After leaving egypt, we were in the desert for 40 years. Yehoshua led bnei yisrael to canaan, conquered and divided it. After yehoshua dies, we have judges as leaders because we were struggling after yehoshua died. We kept getting conquered by surrounding nations during these times. The judges included otniel- the king of kush messopotamia conquered us for 8 years. we defeated the 8 year oppression of kush, then we had 40 years of peace. Then ehud- we defeated moav oppression.

The jews were tired of the cycles of judges and wanted a king like the other nations

and kings. Shaul. Then dovid. Then shlomo, we got forst beis hamikdash.

I feel like anxiety is when ur taking too much control. Or the affects of anxiety. Ur taking more control.

Im sitting here crying because as a fourth year art student, my mom wants me to stamp with an onion. Im so hurt and frustrated. Im an artist. Im not going to stamp with an onion.

Im going to buy the silk. And ill paint it in greece because i want to. I like the texture of it. I see something in it that others might not see. And thats it.

U know what. Maybe its not what she wants. But this is what i want. We did that assignment already and i didnt like it the first time.

[little-wing-and-branching-vines]

Okay! Clear skies, captain! Not a Pelipper in sight. I believe this means you may continue your broadcast!

Thank you! But I’m no captain, because there’s no second chair! We’re equals at this station!

Seriously? But you have way more broadcasting experience!

Why does that matter? We all have our own strengths so any kind of hierarchy is just silly!

Oh… I guess so? Anyway, go on.

Alright soooo! We got an email from a friend because at least one of those birds actually delivered something decent, and now we have a little idea what we’re doing! Before I was just trying stuff with the DIRT’s settings like I would back at the Station if a broadcast was failing. Trial and error can solve a surprising number of problems! But now we know signals can reach between this world and our current base of operations, and that the folks back there are actively working to connect with us! So all we need to do is boost our signal enough to make a reliable connection with them!  

Stupid question- how does one do something like that?

Very fancy broadcasting equipment, probably! That part wasn't exactly my specialty, but any idea where you’d get something like that in a region like this??

I moved here literally two weeks ago.

Oh yeah. Fair enough, chirp!

Though, wait a minute. I may have something ^u^. Isn’t the Gym Leader of Lumiose some sort of inventor?

Ooh really? I’ve been trying to mess around with the DIRT’s settings, to get it to work, but an inventor could probably build some kind of add on tha And that’s where we’re going to see the professor! And the professor still might help us too! We’ve got load of options now!

Though. Ah damn! There is one problem!

Aw, but things seemed so promising!

I’m just not sure that gym leader will talk to us! I’ve been trying to talk to Viola for days and the people there just tell me she’s busy taking challengers.

That’s your problem?? Come on, the solution is staring you right in the face! 

It is?

Just challenge the gym yourself! You and Nat have two pokemon, that’s certainly enough for the first gym on a challenge. You can try here with Viola, and it’ll give you practice for Clemont in Lumiose too, and then...

You shall talk to them both… on the battlefield!

Oooh! Dramatic, I like it! And huh, yeah, I guess we could! I hear they have accommodations about fire, so that should be okay! We’ll just have to train Silas more probably and. Well, maybe I can take the lead on that so Nat doesn’t have to get sad again if she faints! This is a great idea Yvonne, thank you thank you thank you!

I. I’m honored I could help with my very basic advice.