#would take all the blame to let naya go blame free

[mudskip-muses]

@dxncingxqueen trespassing, how romantic.... (X)

It...may not have been his best idea, to suggest this park as a date spot, with the fact that it was closed at night, the lush expanse of nature being in a richer, gated community rife with curfews and regulations enough to make the bikers head spin. But it meant it was safe, and despite the gates being locked, Gundham knew very well there were no patrols after a certain hour, the residents here taking stock in their lack luster neighborhood watch. So long as they kept to a relative quiet, no one would be the wiser. 

With picking the lock to the gate being a touch too obvious should anyone happen to walk by, it was simpler to just climb over the fence separating them from the far end of the neighborhood to the park, the pair having entered through the woods from a back road where Gundham’s bike was parked. Hiking up the chain-link fence with little difficultly, showing that he had perhaps done this a time or two, Gundham paused at the top to make sure Naya was fairing well, smiling when she had made it up to his level. Pulling himself over the fence, he climbed down a few rungs before letting himself drop, his gaze set back on the dancer with arms raised to help her down. 

Setting her to the ground, he couldn’t help but press a kiss to her lips, so very pleased that she had agreed to do such a thing with him. “What would our classmates say, if they could see you now, hm?” He teased with a chuckle, his fingers interlocking with hers as he started a slow meander through the trees, sights set on a swing set in the distance. “You will let me know when you are ready to depart, yes?” As much as it sparked a bit of pride getting Naya to misbehave like this, he still worried about her wellbeing, knowing very well that rule breaking was not typically something she indulged in, at least in this capacity.

[jj-ktae]

Millennials - Part 5 -

Title: Millennials Genre: Fluff, romance Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x You Summary: Life is made of stages and each of them is a hard push on the back, forcing you to forge ahead. You’re facing your biggest crisis, and then there’s him, who lives from day to day. Of course he does, he is just a kid. Words: 4601 Warning: Small age difference. Yugyeom x Noona Reader.

Please check my masterlist for previous chapters! 

Part 5

It’s a beautiful week. Yugyeom doesn’t know how, but he managed to memorize two choreographies in the span of three hours. He flies from school to home, footsteps light and feathery as he can’t stop thinking about his date with you.

He never expected things to go this well.

Yugyeom remembers exactly how ecstatic he was, how hyper he felt and how he couldn’t stop himself from going to Bambam’s to yell his passion. Bambam had laughed, merely praising him but still wary enough to tell him not to expect too much.

He had laughed, barely listening to his friend as he was twirling around, face smug. The days following came like a blur and he couldn’t wait to go back to work so he could see you again.  Half of him was scared, the thought of you being cold still clear in his memory but he was mostly eager.

You could beat him up and he would offer his face for more.

He doesn’t try to contact you. He found himself typing a text a couple of times, but stopped before he could press send. Jinyoung warned him not to get carried away and make a fool of himself so he followed his friend’s advice.

When Yugyeom arrives at the grocery store this Sunday, he takes a deep breath and enters the shop.

You feel weird.

It’s not like there’s anything to worry about; your date went well and you were even able to be nice for once. You ate well, had a good time and got a free scarf so everything should be just fine, right?

So why is it that you feel so ashamed with what happened? Why can’t you think about Yugyeom without feeling your face burn with embarrassment?

You don’t even know why you acted the way you did. It was all good, he was about to leave, but you had to be stupid and run after him. On top of that, you even pecked his cheek.

Oh god, he must feel so freaked out now.

Naya squealed when you called her the day after. She told you she was relieved that you finally opened to that lovely kid and that you definitely should invite him over to pay back for his kindness.

And the worst part is that you agreed. You even anticipate the meeting, refusing to believe that you actually enjoy the slow churn of your insides every time you think about his smile.

It’s fine, you think. Kim Yugyeom has no effect on you.

He just happens to be a very gentle and caring boy, with a dashing smile and a tendency to look at you like you are his most precious property.

When Naya tells you she was absolutely right from the start and that Yugyeom obviously likes you, you can’t find it in yourself to deny it like you always do.

Because the thought in itself isn’t disturbing at all.

You’re not one to become all mushy though, so you hope things won’t get weird once Yugyeom will arrive.

But everything you built goes down the drain as the grocery shop’s door opens and a smiley Yugyeom steps in, hidden into a long coat.

“Hi, noona.”

You nod, lips tight as you count the coins a little boy reunited just for a bag of candies. What do you answer? Hi Yugyeom? Just hi?

Yugyeom smiles brightly as he walks past the counter and enters the tiny staff-room to get rid of his coat.

You wave at the kid as he runs away, shaking the bag crazily.

“Are you feeling better?” Yugyeom startles you when you hear him from behind. You turn around and find him, proud and giant with his fitting long-sleeved tee-shirt – when did he start wearing such things? -  You freeze, his words registering at a slow pace because he is way too close and you can smell the subtle scent of his perfume.

“Better?” You speak, tongue rolling against you lips as you try to find an explanation to what is currently happening.

Yugyeom chuckles, surprised to see you so out of it when you always have everything under control. “You were sick, are you feeling better?”

Your mouth turns into a tiny round shape and a soft humming sound makes you finally realize what he is talking about. You really need to get a grip, right now. “Yes, I’m feeling way better.”

Yugyeom offers a smile, nodding and sending locks of hair over his eyes. “Good.” He stands there, silent as he looks at you. You usually tell him what he has to do but you seem…off? Maybe he is overthinking the situation.

When he takes a step back you snap out of your thoughts, coughing loudly to grab a piece of paper where your colleague wrote the tasks for today. You take a deep breath. “The floor needs some cleaning while the shop is not busy. I’ll be cleaning the tables and the microwaves.” You hurry out of his sight, grabbing the bucket prepared by your colleague to rush toward the eating area.

Yugyeom chuckles, shaking his head slowly as he sees you awkwardly walk. You’re really too adorable.

The eating area is greasy. It’s been like this for as long as you can remember. You’ve cleaned the high tables so many times but they always become thick with noodle juice and other snacks. You don’t like that task, but it’s better than staying around Yugyeom, who seems to be singing softly as he wipes the floor.

He sounds so happy.

It’s hard to act like he isn’t here. You see him from time to time, walking between the aisle and sighing because the mop is visibly too tiny for his body. He keeps on a concentrated face and sends a couple of smiles your way whenever he catches your eyes.

By the time you’re done cleaning, he seems to be talking to customers. You put the bucket back in its place and go to the counter in case someone would want to pay for their-

Yugyeomie!

Before you can see them, two familiar voices echo in the shop, thick with honey. You should have known they would come back with their hands full of food for Yugyeom.

The latter appears, bowing endlessly and thanking two ladies who are eagerly following him and laughing.  

Yugyeom is literally about to die from a huge piece of cake and whipped cream is smudged around his mouth. You raise your brow when he almost hides behind you, coughing and red with embarrassment.

“Oh my, we gave you too much! Can’t you see he feels uncomfortable?!” One of the lady tells you aggressively, her manicured finger pointing toward you in an accusing manner.

You turn around when Yugyeom takes your arm and you see him shake his head. He looks even more alerted now, cheeks full and mouth barely closed.

Usually you would have blamed him for being so mushy and you would have been right. He had been too nice with these two, always accepting the presents and getting fed. Now he can barely run away from them.

So against better judgement and as soon as the second lady adds a venomous “Well aren’t you going to move?” you turn around, hands on your hips.

“You shouldn’t disturb the employees. He is working and he has no time to deal with you. If our manager ever discovers what happens when he isn’t here, are you going to take responsibility for your actions? You’re not only monopolising his time but also mine right now.” You say angrily and go to the staff-room to grab your own water bottle.

When you come back, Yugyeom is still bowing at the ladies who look shocked and embarrassed. It seems he has finally swallowed the piece of cake because he is apologising endlessly.


You silently hand him the bottle before walking away. You’re not in the mood to deal with these two and you can’t even trust your own mouth anymore. Why did you even have to speak? If they complain to the manager, you’re never going to hear the end of it.

You let your head fall against a bag a bread, eyes closed in regret and scolding yourself silently.

“We shouldn’t have…you won’t lose your job, right?” You hear one of the lady, her voice now tender as she is still trying to sound innocent.

“No it’s fine. Please just don’t talk to my noona like that.”

You blink, head still deep in the soft bags as you hear the words, barely muffled and incredibly satisfying to hear from a determined Yugyeom.

A long silence follows during which you don’t know what to do with your body. You hear noises, the sound of the cash machine and a curt greeting before the place becomes quiet again.

You wait for a sound, anything that would indicate a moving Yugyeom but nothing happens so you peek a moment later, head appearing between the food.

Yugyeom is sitting. He looks incredibly disturbed and while you should be too, you can only focus on the whipped cream on his face.

Did he really try to be serious when he has pieces of cake on his face?

You walk from behind the aisle and Yugyeom gets up as soon as you appear, already bowing and apologising because oh god you’re going to get mad at him because of the two old ladies and he shouldn’t have been so nice with them-

“Sit down.” You tell him, trying to hide the amusement from your voice.

Yugyeom gulps, gawking as he takes a step toward the chair to rest on it.

You grab a forgotten pack of tissue left behind the counter and open it, shaking your head. He watches your every move, curious and uneasy.

You turn around with the tissue and approach him, making him back up further away from you.

He waits, blinks, but freezes when your hand grabs his chin to clean the mess left around his mouth.

“You would look way more serious if you didn’t have so much whipped cream on your cheeks.” You speak, determined not to look at him in the eyes.
 Which is good because Yugyeom is dying inside, face burning and hands moist with stress.

You clean the mess rapidly, fingers grazing over his reddening skin and it’s hard not to think about how adorable he looks. You try to stay away from his body, the warmth and delicate scent a tad too tempting to be too close to.

He sighs, his breath fanning your face. “Thanks, noona.”

You barely smirk when you’re done – and it feels like you spent forever on his face when it barely lasted ten seconds – before proceeding to throw the tissue away.

“I’m sorry. They were very rude,” He adds when you don’t speak. He searches for your face and when he finally gets your attention, a sheepish smile appears on his still reddish cheeks. “I made sure they won’t speak that way anymore.”

My noona.

You nod, his words echoing in your head and making you pinch your lips so you wouldn’t laugh. It’s so satisfying all of a sudden.

You knew Yugyeom could be adorable. He proved it to you numerous times but never did you pay attention to his features, too busy being cold and ignoring him.

But you’re starting to think differently and you’re not even bothered by that fact.
 “It’s fine, Yugyeom.” You whisper, bowing when a bunch of people enter the shop. You turn around briefly when the customers walk deeper in the shop. “Thank you for standing up for your noona.”

Yugyeom wants to disappear into the ground.

--

“You are disgusting.” Jinyoung refuses to believe such a thing happened. “You really said something like that?” Yugyeom has always been a weird kid, but he is starting to wonder if he’ll ever make it with his strange behaviour.

“I did. I don’t know why. I almost choked on a piece of cake, I guess I felt brave.” Yugyeom sighs, head on Jinyoung’s kitchen table as the latter is sipping on his coffee.

Bambam enters the kitchen, putting his phone back into his pocket. “You’re creepy.” He concludes, sitting next to a depressed Yugyeom.

Yugyeom nods against the cold material, lips into a pout.

“Anyways, it’s not the end of the world, did you try to get some sort of conversation out of her?” Jinyoung adds. His legs are crossed and he is leaning against the table. “Another date? Anything?”

“Obviously, he didn’t.” Bambam concludes when his friend doesn’t move.

“Stop asking so much from me. I already asked her once. Let me live.” He grunts as he sits back on his chair, arms now crossed over his chest.

Yugyeom doesn’t even pay attention when his phone vibrates in his pocket and his hand blindly reaches for it as Bambam is now telling him how he must attack the girl before it’s too late.

“He needs to be subtle. Don’t turn him into an even creepier guy.” Jinyoung softly kicks Bambam’s leg playfully. “By the way, who’s free this week-end? There’s this-

Yugyeom’s screeching makes them both jump on their seats. The latter’s mouth is wide opened and a hand is hiding his face.

“She’s...she’s...her place? HER PLACE?!”

Bambam sighs, leaning to grab the phone from a protesting Yugyeom.

“Ohoh,” he starts, eyebrows raising teasingly. “She wants to thank you for the other night and cook for you.” He finishes the message and lets an evil laugh leave his thick lips. “at her place. Bingo.”

Jinyoung claps his hands, a little bit surprised but still amused. “Now you know what to do.”

Yugyeom gasps, “What to do? What do I do?”

“You agree, you get prepared and you get that girl. Jeez, Yugs, don’t you know it’s jackpot when a girl invites someone to her place?” Bambam tells him, way too excited by the situation.

Yugyeom tilts his head, not getting where this is going. They can’t possibly be talking about that.

No, no no no.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes as his stupid friends. “Just go there and try not to mess things up and you,” he points at Bambam accusingly, “stop trying to make him jump the poor girl.”

Bambam pouts “Yep, sir.”

--

“Why did I do that. What do I do now? What if he doesn’t answer? Tonight? Why tonight? Naya, tell me I didn’t just sent that message.” It’s panic time. Naya came over after work and decided to hype you, resulting in you typing a very embarrassing message and sending it to Yugyeom.

“It’s a great message. You said you’ll pay for the food next time and what’s better than cook yourself? You live alone and you feel more comfortable at home, it’s a great opportunity. Plus, I doubt the kid is a creep who will jump you.” Naya plays with her spoon, making it cling against a creamy coffee cup. “If he agrees, we need to get you some groceries.”

“He is going to think I’m a weirdo. I can’t believe I spent so much time giving him the cold shoulder, only to end up sending such a pathetic message.” You start rubbing your face tiredly, wondering when on earth did you stop being so adamant.

When your phone tingles on the table, Naya doesn’t need to see what’s written.

Your bewildered face says it all.

She is incredibly fast when she hurries you out of your flat. She starts throwing ideas on what you could cook and what alcohol you should buy. Your friend flies toward ingredients, asking for your opinion and you end up with too many things to buy and an expensive bill.

“I can’t believe you’ve been working with him for so long yet you don’t know what he likes.” Naya mocks when you both get out of the busy place, hands full with bags and head full with regrets.

“It’s not like I ever paid attention to him. It’s all because of you.” You complain, face unreadable as you walk toward your apartment complex.

Naya scoffs, her head shaking. “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy the situation. You’re just scared because you have zero confidence. He likes you and you’re starting to like him too. It’s fine! There’s no need to be ashamed.”

“But he’s-

“He is younger than you? Like age matters when it comes to maturity. We both know age means nothing. Men will be boys all their lives.” Her laugh makes you want to hit her with your own bags but you decide to keep quiet.

Mostly because she is right, but you won’t admit it.

This is exactly how you end up cooking for Yugyeom. You’re busy with your pasta, one hand holding your wooden spoon and the other one your phone, checking out cooking tips and nodding at specific advices.

The table is set without it being too much – the mere idea of looking eager and desperate enough for you to cringe – and the wine is ready.

You remove your apron to look at your outfit, hands pulling on your shirt as a deep sigh leaves your lips in apprehension. Your heart is about to burst out of your chest and you’re quite sure you’re going to throw up.

You take a deep breath when your doorbell rings.

Everything’s going to be okay.

When you open the door and find an already blushing Yugyeom, you’re not so sure of yourself anymore.

He looks too handsome to be standing by your door, with a curious face and a single orchid in his hand.

He cannot be serious.

“Hi, noona.” He waves timidly, trying to find a way to stand without looking awfully awkward.

You blink at the flower, completely ignoring his words before tilting your head. It can’t be because-

“Oh, it’s for you.” Yugyeom hands you the flower hurriedly, eager to get rid of the silence and hoping you’d let him enter your flat soon because he can’t trust his knees tonight. “I heard you say Orchids were your favourite.”

You open your mouth, shocked and astonished because you remember saying this once to your manager when he asked you which flowers would be the best to beg for forgiveness.

Yugyeom was there that day? You don’t even remember yet he heard it and got you your favourite flower.

“Noona…?” Yugyeom leans, the flower still in his hand and it makes you go back to your senses to grab the flower before coughing.

“Thanks, Yugyeom. Come on in.”

You open the door wider to let him step into your flat and as he smiles sweetly and bows, you want to slap yourself for being so mean to him all this time.

“It smells good.” The younger states when he walks deeper into your flat. You follow slowly, now too conscious of your surroundings and hoping you cleaned the flat thoroughly so he wouldn’t discover how much of a messy person you can be.

“Thank you. I made pasta. Is that okay for you? There’s also wine…” You put the flower on your kitchen counter and grab an empty glass before turning around.

Yugyeom is looking at your flat with shiny eyes, like he achieved something big. He spins around and finds you waiting for him with an empty glass. “Oh, yes. I like wine.”

It takes two hours for the atmosphere to cool down. Yugyeom is stiff on your couch, his long legs resting on your carpet as he slowly sips on his third glass of wine. You’re on the floor, legs crossed and elbow on your living-room’s table as you’re digesting the huge amount of pasta you swallowed so you wouldn’t have to speak too much.

“Your place is warm.” Yugyeom says do fill the silence.

You laugh tiredly, not finding it in yourself to tell him that your flat is actually as lifeless as you. “It’s a pain apartment.”

Yugyeom shakes his head, the alcohol making him somewhat more daring. “It’s the place where you live.”

You don’t know what to answer. Despite your awkwardness, Yugyeom has been having a dreamy face ever since he arrived and looked nothing but amazed to be here. It’s difficult to deal with such a personality for you only know a few people and most of them aren’t like him.

People like Yugyeom scare you to the point of avoiding them and as he looks down at your tired face, you understand instantly the reason behind your past hatred and coldness.

Yugyeom is willing to accept you without asking anything in return.

“I have no confidence.” You start when weakness takes over you. He needs to understand your struggles in case you become weird again. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like garbage just because you can’t stand yourself. “I don’t know how to deal with my life. I’ve always been around people who despise the fact that I have no ambition and I guess I accept it now? It became normal to be considered like a loser because I do believe I am one.”

Yugyeom is about to protest but you lift a hand to stop him.

“But you’re making it hard for me to keep on hating myself. I don’t even know how you remembered I like Orchids. You’re always nice and gentle. I don’t know how to interact with people like you.”

Yugyeom feels himself sitting straight when you’re done. He can’t believe what he is hearing and he is torn between sadness and anger because how the hell did you end up feeling that way when he finds you amazing and strong and independent? He wants to shake you so you would understand, but he knows it’s the wine and he will regret being such a pushover.

Yet you’re on the floor and looking at him expectantly. He sees honesty and a hint of sadness you had never showed him before and even though it breaks him, he must smile.

“I remember every important thing. You like Orchids. You said you hate milk to our manager when he brought you a latte last month. You hate spicy food and one time you bought the wrong cup of ramen and your face became all red. Your favourite snacks are shrimp flavoured chips and strawberry yoghurt. You hate cleaning the microwaves but you still do.”

Each sentence swallows you to the ground, like Yugyeom is putting weights on your shoulders. He knows a lot of things about you just because he cares enough to remember.

Yet you know nothing about him.

“You didn’t really like me.”

He ends the sentence with a sad smile, not even mad because at some point, there’s nothing he can do.

You protest instantly, your voice dying in the process. “That’s not- I mean, you know so much, yet I know only a little, if not nothing about you. I never asked nor paid attention.”

You feel guilty, incredibly guilty for being that way. You feel like the worst bitch.

But Yugyeom laughs before putting his glass on the table. “It’s fine, noona. I’m not saying this because I want to make you feel bad. I’m not asking of you to know everything about me.”

You can’t believe it.

“Why?” It’s the only thing that comes to your mind. You’re not sure if you want to know the answer, though.

“Why?” Yugyeom repeats, head tilted to the side like he is surprised you still didn’t get it. Under any other circumstances he would have freaked out and ran away, but now he is starting to like the effect wine has on him.
 Maybe he will let it all out tonight.

“It’s definitely not because I am trying to be a good colleague.” His eyes go from the table to your face, just to be sure he isn’t about to embarrass himself more than he already did.

“I’m in love with you, noona. I’m sorry you had to deal with the annoying me all this time.”

It’s weird, Yugyeom thinks as he finishes his sentence. The evening had started well; you had talked about your parents and how busy they were. He had shared pieces of his childhood and you had laughed. You two had exchanged jokes in the middle of the general awkwardness and he had loved the food.

You’re silent now, blinking at the ground like he dropped a bomb on you. Maybe he should have shut his mouth. The boys are going to make fun of him for being so mushy and drinking to the point of turning into a creep again. He can’t wait.

Yugyeom is contemplating whether he should grab his stuff and go, he really is, but he finds himself frozen on the couch when you get up slowly.

“Noona…? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

You’re too fast for him. You’re too fast and surprising tonight, he can’t comprehend why the hell are you leaning toward him slowly. Your eyes are undecipherable yet focused.

You’re being serious.


He stops breathing when you grab his face. It’s a mixture of excitement and fear, with a touch of confusion but everything crashes when he feels your lips on his.

Is this happening? Everything is in slow-motion, like a movie Yugyeom wouldn’t mind watching every single night.

Yugyeom finally believes it when you peck his lips. His arms come back to life and reach for your nape to bring you closer and it’s like an electric shock putting him back on track.

You’re kissing him.

The slow-motion effect disappears; his skin finally tingles and his breath gets caught in his lungs when your fingers thread through his locks to tilt his head.

It’s the best kiss in his whole damned life.

He kisses you back after what feels like an eternity and when he does, you relax in his hands, finally comfortable with the embrace. Yugyeom takes everything he can, his lips tickling and face on fire but he doesn’t care anymore.

You’re the only thing worth focusing on in the middle of nowhere.

You end up kneeling on your couch but is that important? Yugyeom won, there’s nothing you can build to stay away from him anymore. Fighting would be pointless and mean and you don’t want to be mean with him.

So if he is willing to welcome your existence, then you’ll give him just that.

You part from his face with closed eyes and red lips. Your heart is surprisingly calm despite the intimate position so you smile.

You can’t believe you initiated the kiss.

Yugyeom is already staring at you when you open your eyes and he is searching for answers. He watches, analyses your movements, waits for any sign of discomforts.

And naturally, when he finds nothing, he smiles back and pulls you toward him to kiss you again.

You stay that way for a while – though you don’t know how long – before you sit next to him, finally embarrassed for being so bold.
 But unlike you, Yugyeom looks pleased.

“I know I’m younger than you and you might think I’m a kid, but I really want to be with you.” He stills tries, even though you both kissed, even though you’re holding his hand and playing with the rings on his fingers. “I want to make you feel like you are worth so much more than what you think.”

You want to melt. Correction: you’re melting.

You sit properly on your couch so you can face him. “I wish you’d do just that, Yugyeom.”

And he kisses you again.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 10

hope yall spending christmas with eating and sleeping, and got everythig you wanted! here is part tennn, enjoy!

ALSO IT CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT TOO!!!!!!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

As I imagine, this is what Death entering a room would feel like. Sucking everything lively and happy from around, sending chills down your spine, bringing all your fears to you in just one second making you wish you never woke up this morning.

As I stand at the window staring at my reflection I feel Knox’s hand gently touch my waist and I want to shake it off, but I can’t. I’m frozen.

He gently, but quite firmly turned me around and I finally faced him. My stomach became one big knot as my eyes bet those icy blue ones that I wished to never see again. He looked just the same, dark eyebrows, hard cheekbones and a pretty manly beard with combed back hair, his usual style topped with a suit that probably cost thousands of dollars but it’s just a few pennies for him.

A distorted smile appears on his lips as his eyes travel down my body and I already feel disgusted even though nothing has happened.

“You know, I’ve been watching you all night, I was waiting for your client to leave you so we could talk,” he starts with a very secretive tone and I’m trying my best not to look at him. I want to tell him Shawn is not a client, but I choose not to. “How have you been?”

“What do you want?” I manage to speak up, my voice coming out weaker than I wanted it to be.

“Why so fussy? Just wanted to catch up with my girl.”

“I’m not your girl,” I hiss at him. “And get your hand off of me,” I finally say. I think I surprise him for a moment, but he quickly regains his confidence. His hand falls off of my waist and I can’t help, but stare at the ring on his finger. The fucker is still happily married.

“You know, I don’t like the way things ended between us. I feel like… we could do so much better.”

I see the shining in his eyes and two years ago I would have already been falling into his arms with jelly knees, but not today. I’m not who I was when he made a total fool out of me and I’m just hoping I’ve became strong enough to keep my walls up.

“There is no we. Never was.”

“Judging from the way you screamed my name when we went to Atlanta there was.” His cocky smile disgusts me and the thought he just brought to me makes me want to vomit. I don’t say anything so I don’t throw up, but this gives him the chance to continue talking.

“I know you think I’m the Devil, but we both know this is not true. You’re just… angry at yourself, I don’t blame you. Things could have went better. But maybe we could meet sometime, when you are done with this boy and ready to be with the man of your dreams.”

He has no idea what he is talking about. His little ways don’t get to me anymore, this sweet-talk doesn’t make me fall on my knees and beg for his attention. I now know what it is like when someone treats you as a partner and loves you without condition. And Shawn is the person who taught this to me.

“That boy made me feel like a woman while you just treated me like a dumb doll, making me feel like what we were doing was right. But it wasn’t and you are still a sick bastard. You shouldn’t even come near me, Joshua made it clear to you that our business is over. I’m not interested in your little games anymore, I actually know what I worth now.”

I keep eye-contact for as long as I can, using everything in me to stand as powerful as possible in front of him. I watch as a small smile creeps its way to his lips.

“You slept with him, didn’t you?”

He doesn’t seem angry or worried, it looks like the situation entertains him and it’s making me shiver. My lack of answer tells it all for him as he lets out a delightful chuckle, throwing me towards the edge.

“You think you found the love of your life, right? Oh, poor naïve girl. I see sex still means everything to you and this boy was lucky enough to get a taste of it and you are now all worked up on him.” He takes a step closer to me and I suck on my breath when I want to back from him, but I bump to the window. “Nothing can change the fact that you are just a prostitute. People rent you out like a book or movie, use you for their own satisfaction and then throw you away. That boy has no idea what you do and how you live, but I know. I’m the only person who knows everything about you and if you think there is a slight chance of you living in a normal relationship with him… You are more stupid than I thought.”

I’m on the verge of tears as I’m still staring at him and his stomach-turning grin he is looking at me with. It sickens me how such a handsome, successful and potential man can be a rotting pile of shit inside. And the worst part is that he is still not finished. Placing his filthy hand on my upper arm he leans very close to my ears so I can feel his hot breath on my skin. I have to stop myself from scratching myself wherever it hits me.

“I assume he has no idea about the package you come with. You are good at hiding it, but it is there. What do you think the world will think about your little lover if they find out his new girlfriend is involved with drug dealers and extortioners from the worse kind?” I don’t say anything, just press my lips together tightly as I stare at one point on the floor. “Exactly. That would ruin him even if you can use his money to cover every loan you are still paying for. The word will travel fast, Sweetheart. And you can bet I’ll be fast to hop on that wagon and give out all your little dirty secrets.”

He steps back and a tear rolls down my cheek. My hands are shaking and I feel like I’m about to faint any moment. I look up and see Shawn standing in the doorway with two bottled waters in his hands, watching us with his jaw clenched.

I turn back to Knox and seeing the satisfaction in his eyes is my worse fear, but I can’t do anything about it. What he just told is true. If anyone finds out who I am Shawn’s career and maybe life is ruined. I can’t do this to him and I was so stupid letting everything go this far between us.

“I hope your wife finds out soon what a fucker you are,” I spat at him before I manage to finally move my legs and walk away.

The moment he can’t see my face I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and I see Shawn blurrily as he immediately puts the waters down and rushes to me. We collapse in the middle, his arms circle me tightly as I bury my face in his hard chest.

“Who was it? What did he tell you?” he asks frantically, looking for Knox in the crowd, but he can’t see him anymore, he is long gone.

“I want to go back to the hotel,” I mumble into his neck as he is stroking my hair soothingly.

“Okay, let’s go.”

We rush through the groups of people trying to be as invisible as possible, we make it down to the garage and I’m extremely thankful I don’t have to have a shame walk to the car in the ring of paparazzi. I sit as low in the seat as possible, covering my face from the flashes that light through the windows. Shawn slowly drives out of the garage and when we are finally on our way back to the hotel I sit up straight.

“Naya, what happened?” He reaches out and places his hand on my thigh giving it a gentle squeeze and it’s making my heart ache.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whisper as I stare out of the window, not daring to look at him because I know I would just start crying.

He doesn’t try to get me to talk, we drive back in total silence and it continues like this when we are on our way up to our room. Shawn’s eyes never leave me, examining me with concern all over his face while I feel like I’m totally drained out. I know tonight is the end of it, as much as I hate to admit, Knox opened my eyes and I know I have to end everything by the time the Sun comes up. But Shawn deserves an explanation and closure.

He opens the door for me and walking in I kick my heels off heading to the bed. I sit down to the edge Shawn soon joining me, sitting next to me in silence, just waiting for me to say anything.

“I’m sorry you saw that,” I say, my voice barely coming out more than just a whisper.

“Who was he?” he asks, and for my biggest surprise he doesn’t sound mad, he is just worried for me which makes it even harder for me.

“He was one of my first clients, I worked with him when I was a newbie. He is… a highly manipulative person, he made me fall for him, but he only needed me as a toy, to have someone to play with when he was bored.”

Shawn sits there without a word, giving me the time to collect my thoughts. I slowly turn to him and let him take my hand between his palms. The hot touch of his skin is soothing, but it also makes me feel guilty knowing what I’m about to say.

“I thought I loved him, but he really just wanted to make me weak so he can get me to sleep with him. He made me emotionally attached to him so I was basically on my knees the moment he snapped his fingers. Joshua doesn’t let clients book someone two times in a row, at least a month has to pass, but because Knox made me this wreck and so dependent on him I went back to him on my own. In my own free time.”

“Did he ever hurt you?” he asks and I can sense the tenseness in him immediately.

“Not physically. But he destroyed me from the inside. I was his obeying sex slave until I saw a text thread with his friends. It was the guy from that party… he talked about how he wants to use me until I’m totally lifeless and he was planning on buying me out from Joshua. Though it’s not possible, he doesn’t trade his girls, it got me boiling. I confronted him and somehow got him raging, he admitted to having a wife, which he hid from me the whole time somehow, and he told me I will never be a functional adult ever in my life.”

The tears are dwelling in my eyes again and for a moment I feel like I can’t do it. I just want to curl up in his arms and tell him I want to be with him forever. But then Knox’s words echo in my mind and I sober up.

“Shawn, these past two weeks have been… the best time of my life,” I tell him with a bittersweet smile. “You taught me so much and…” I take a deep breath and just let the words roll down my tongue. “And I love you.”

His eyebrows raise and I see happiness in his hazel eyes.

“I love you too,” he tells me and I feel like I’m about to punch myself in the stomach with what I’m about to say after this.

“But we can’t see each other anymore.”

I watch his face fall and I immediately wish I could take it back, but it’s too late and deep down I know this is the right thing to do. It’s the most painful thing seeing him hurt like this knowing it’s because of me.

“I don’t… I don’t see why… I mean…” he starts shaking his head as he refuses to accept what I just said.

“Shawn, it’s just not possible. With the life that you live and the one that I live… We can’t do this. I can’t do this. I became an escort for a reason and I’m not bringing you into my mess. If anything gets out about my real identity and the stuff that I’ve been linked to… I would never forgive myself for ruining your career.”

“Why do you think you’d ruin my career? It’s not like you killed someone, right?”

“No. But there are other bad things and I would hate the thought of harming you in any way.”

“But you can’t be sure this would happen!” he protests, obviously not knowing anything about my background and where I come from.

“I am sure, Shawn. And don’t try to come up with ideas to save the situation. I know it’s hard, but I can’t let you do this to yourself because of me. It’ll be better if we just… don’t see each other after the agreement is over.”

“But why don’t you want to… to fight? I’m sure we could figure something out, I though this thing meant something to you!”

“It means everything to me!” I choke out as I slide closer and without a second thought I throw a leg over him and sit on his lap hugging his waist with my legs. “It means so much, you mean so much to me. I said that I love you because I do. I meant it. And because I do, I wouldn’t be able to live with the thought of harming you. I’m not going to let you battle my fights, I don’t want to involve you in my dark past. This is why I’m letting you go.”

His eyes shimmer from tears he is probably holding back, his fingers are roaming my back as I slide my hands to the base of his neck. I’m taking notes of everything, how his skin feels on mine, the line of his defined jawline and cheeks, his adorable curls and the way he licks his lips.

I can tell he is battling himself, he wants to protest against me, but he also wants to respect me and my will. I run my finger along his jawline stopping at his lips.

“If this is what you want… I respect it,” he says finally speaking up, but I can hear the endless sadness in his voice and my heart breaks. “But can I ask just one thing?”

“Sure,” I smile at him letting the tears run down my cheeks not caring to hold them back anymore.

“Can we forget about it just for tonight? Just for one more night, please. As a goodbye.”

I immediately nod my head and without hesitation I press my lips to his kissing him hard and passionate.

All barriers fall down and we cross every boundaries as he pushes me down to the bed getting on top of me. My cheeks are wet from my tears, running onto my lips, but he doesn’t seem to care. We kiss like it’s the end of the world, and in a way, it is for us. I tug his shirt off of him as his hands quickly work on my dress and make it disappear in no time. In just a few minutes both of us is naked, tangled in the sheets and in each other. One time it’s me on top, the other it’s him. He litters my face, my neck and my collarbones with open-mouthed kisses, lacing my fingers through his hair I pull his face up to me so I can kiss him.

I manage to get on top of him once more as his erection is pressed to my inner thigh. I rock my hips against him and a satisfied moan slips through his perfectly pink lips. I press my lips to his rosy cheek before leaning closer to his ear.

“I love you. I really do,” I whisper, his large hand covers the back of my neck as he is pulling me down for a kiss.

“I love you too,” he moans into my lips and my heart is racing. I reach down between us, I need to feel him inside me.

I position him to my entrance and our eyes meet right at the moment he slips into me and fills me up perfectly. I gasp at the pleasant feeling as I’m adjusting to him. His hands grab onto my waist and gently starts me moving, but soon I start lifting myself up and dropping down on my own. I sit up throwing my head back, letting a guttural growl out in pleasure, his hands travel up on my body until they find my breasts and squeeze them passionately. I place one hand on his while putting one to his chest and leaning on that arm while I never stop moving.

“You are so beautiful,” he mumbles leaning up and pressing a kiss to my chin before flipping us over.

I immediately wrap my legs around his waist and when I feel him go as deep as possible I scream his name out. He slams into me again and again, hitting that one spot that is making me shiver under his touch, his lips return to my neck sucking on my skin and I’m sure I’ll have a nice hickey in the morning, but I couldn’t care less.

“I love you,” he tells me again and I’m whimpering under him as I’m getting closer and closer to my orgasm with each thrust.

“Shawn, I- Ah…” I’m lost in him, I look into his eyes, I see the sorrow in them and I just want to make him happy again. I would do anything to see him smile again.

Except one thing.

I pull him down for a kiss so I don’t have to look into his eyes and he picks up his pace as we both are close to our climax. My fingers dig into his back, probably leaving marks on his skin, he is moving forcefully and fast, his hair is covering his forehead, some locks stick to his sweaty skin, but he still looks like the man of my dreams. He probably is.

I finally reach the top, moaning his name I throw him over the edge and he releases himself into me as well. With a few more sloppy thrusts our highs die down and he collapses to the bed besides me, pulling me to his chest. My cheek is pressed against his hot skin, I can hear and feel his heart beating crazily.

A few minutes later he pulls the cover over us, our legs are tangled together and I’m playing with his hair at the base of his neck as we are just silently lying in bed facing each other. I can feel my eyelids getting heavier with each passing moment and I’m trying to fight my tiredness wanting to spend as much time with Shawn as possible, but I just can’t help.

“Sleep, baby. I’ll be here in the morning. I promise,” he whispers pressing a soft kiss to my forehead as I close my eyes.

“I love you,” I mumble under my breath, but I’m already drifting off to sleep. I feel his fingers touching my cheeks and I’m almost dozed out when I hear his reply.

“I will always love you.” His voice echoes in my mind as I finally fall asleep in his arms.

[dxncingxqueen]

@ultimaterealmofchaos from here

“Mikan, I want you to look at me. Please.” Her voice holds an uncharacteristic boldness to it, but her eyes contrast that in the soft look they hold. Against her better judgement, she moves to gently cup the other’s face, taking both of Mikan’s hands in her own and lifting her head slightly to meet her eyes. Admittedly, her heart broke at the sight of Mikan blaming herself. Naya was no stranger the notion herself, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less to see others go through the same thing, to a concerning degree at that.

“All your life, you’ve held the lowest opinion of yourself. I know how that feels. You feel that you’re a nuisance, that you’re a disgusting pig, that everyone would be better off if you weren’t here. And the saddest part? The saddest part is that everyone- every single person around you- has only proven you completely right.” Her thumbs move to wipe away stray tears. “But... no matter how much they have... no matter how much they’ve proved you right, they’re still completely wrong. Every single one of them. I know that may be hard to believe right now, but I wouldn’t lie about this. You’re nice, you’re kind, you’re incredibly helpful. And it’s not your fault that everyone else was so consumed in their unfounded hatred to see it. They thought that tearing you down and beating you while you were down was easier than lifting you up, but that’s through no fault of your own. You were only a child. Everything you went though should not have happened. That’s a fact.”

“You want to know something, though? You have friends here, now. Friends who love you, and who would never let anything bad happen to you. And I’m one of them. You’re free from them now, and you never have to spend another day living in fear of them, because now you’ll have people to protect you. And once you graduate, you’ll be the one protecting others, and saving lives, and they’ll be the ones left to rot in their bitterness while you flourish.”

[shaymitche11]

// Brielle & Piper

Shay "It's going to be interesting having three babies to snuggle." She says with a small smile. It isn't long before the doctor comes in again to check her. She feels kind of relieved when she finds out that she's already almost halfway there. "Good, maybe I can get the epidural soon." She whispers softly.

Naya "It'll work out perfectly. A baby for each of us and a Josey right in the middle." She tells her with a proud smile. She steps aside when the doctor comes in to check her and she kisses her forehead when she hears the news. "You definitely could. I'm so proud of you, baby girl."

Shay looks up at Naya, but quickly looks back down when she feels another contraction hitting and it's definitely stronger than the others. She whines and reaches out for Naya's hand quickly, "Baby.." She says when she's grabbed her hand again and squeezed it tight.

Naya takes her hand quickly and moves to sit down on the edge of the bed so she's extra close. "You're okay, sweetheart. Just breathe, okay? In and out." She encourages her, the whine breaking her heart a little bit. She takes her free hand and rubs it up and down her wife's side softly.

Shay listens to Naya and really tries to breathe as she keep the tight grip on her hand. "I-I'm trying, just hurts." She whispers.

Naya keeps her hand moving on her side and squeezes the other one super tight. "I know it does, I know. You're doing so good." She tells her.

Shay turns over on her side to get closer to Naya, "I want it to stop." She tells her.

Naya keeps a hold on her and nods softly, leaning in to press her lips to her forehead. "Let's get you some medicine, then. What do you think?"

Shay hardly waits a second before nodding eagerly, "An-And then I want to sleep, but I know that I won't be able to." She pouts a bit.

Naya nods, knowing she needs the reassurance. "You'll be able to sleep with the medicine, sweets. It'll make you feel all better and it'll help you relax." She leans up to press the button to get someone back in the room.

Shay "I really hope so, they're making me so tired..." She looks up at Naya. "Why do I feel somewhat normal when I'm not in pain? Why does it have to be like that? I don't understand." She sighs in frustration and shakes her head.

Naya kisses her head a few more times and just stays close while they wait. "Your body is trying to just let you rest in between but it's never really a good rest. The epidural will help you get a good rest in and you'll feel tons better."

Shay nods quickly, "I'm so glad you can tell me these things." She whispers and rubs the back of Naya's hand gently.

Naya shrugs softly, "I'm trying." She chuckles nervously, standing up quickly when the nurse comes in so that she's out of the way.

Shay "You're doing a good job." She tells her honestly, truthfully thankful that she has someone to help explain this to her. When the nurse comes in and Naya tries to get out of the way, Shay only tightens her grip. "No! Don't get far." She says quickly.

Naya "I'm glad." She whispers. When she tightens her grip on her, she does stand up but she stands right next to the bed. "I'm not gonna go far, babe. I'm right here. I just gotta stay out of the way so that they can take care of you. Make you feel better."

Shay feels better when Naya stays by the bed. She slowly tries to sit up when the nurse tells her to and gets in the position for the epidural. She hardly loosens her grip on Naya's hand the entire time, her nerves growing as time goes on. It doesn't matter how good this is, the needle still scares her.

Naya moves to stand in front of her when Naya sits up and she holds her head against her chest. She squeezes both of her hands and whispers soft encouragement into her ear while the epidural is going in. She knows the medicine is worth it but she remembers being scared of it, too.

Shay keeps her face buried against Naya's chest and whimpers when the needle goes in. Although she doesn't feel it completely, she can feel the pressure and she hates it.

Naya squeezes her hand tighter and squeezes her own eyes shut at the sound of her whimper. "It's okay, baby. It's in. No more pain from that. You did such a good job." She whispers.

Shay shakes her head when it's over and she looks up at Naya, "I-I don't like this." She whispers softly. She hates being uncomfortable and that's exactly how she feels right now. "I'm not a fan."

Naya "I know, sweetheart. I know. It's okay. It's going to be over so soon." She says, of course not knowing if that's true, but wanting to keep her spirits up at least. "You'll be a fan of it once the epidural hits. Promise."

Shay relaxes a bit when the nurse lets her lay back down on her side. She does so almost instantly and looks up at Naya again with a pout. "I'm really trying to be strong here, but it's not easy."

Naya "You don't have to be strong, baby. It's okay to not feel like you want to be strong." Naya reassures her, sitting in the chair and pushing it close to the bed again. She rests her hand on her hip again and holds her tight.

Shay tucks her hand under her head, but grabs Naya's free hand with her own free one. She nods lightly, "Okay.." She whispers.

Naya rubs soft circles on her hip and holds her hand tight. "Try to rest, okay? I'm right here. I promise." She tells her with a comforting smile.

Shay gives Naya another nod and closes her eyes as she tries to get some rest.

Naya watches her shut her eyes and she can't keep her own eyes off of her wife. She feels a sense of peace to see her looks somewhat calm.

Shay doesn't fall asleep all the way, but she relaxes enough to kind of doze off. She can still feel the pressure of the pain and that starts to worry her a little bit because now she's wondering if she'll be able to know when the babies are really coming.

Naya runs the hand not in Shay's up and down her side, just wanting to do what she can to comfort her and reassure her that she was there with her. She is feeling so many emotions right now, that she can't help but tap her foot and bite her lip nervously.

Shay turns back over after a while of waiting and dozing off and looks up at Naya very sleepily, "Can we call the doctor in?" She asks in a whispered tone. "I feel like maybe something is about to happen.

Naya looks at Shay when she looks up at her again. She nods right away and again reaches over for the button for that the doctor will come in. She then kicks the chair away so she can stand right next to the bed.

Shay notices that her teeth are chattering a bit and she's a little shaky. "I-I don't know if they're coming, but it feels funny." She feels tears welling up in her eyes because she's suddenly so overwhelmed at the moment. She hates not knowing what's going on.

Naya can tell that she's getting shaky and she squeezes her hand a little bit tighter. "That's okay, you're still doing just fine, my girl. I promise." She whispers, kissing the top of her head. "The doctor is gonna come and see what's going on."

Shay feels like she could fall apart at any moment. She's eager to have the girls and she's nervous. When the doctor comes in, she tells her right away what's going on as she tries to blink back the tears in her eyes.

Naya hates to see her look so nervous and upset so she keeps her face down by Shay's and continues to whisper to her. "I love you so much, baby girl. You're so amazing." She promises her, not wanting her to freak out.

Shay tries to listen to Naya, but it's hard when there's suddenly so much going on around her because the doctor has said that it's finally time to start pushing. "I'm ready, I want the girls now." She says to nobody in particular as she watches them prepare.

Naya gets super excited when the doctor says it's time to push but of course part of her is super nervous, too. "We're going to have them now, baby. You're almost done." She reassures her, knowing that she's definitely over it and she can't say she blames her.

Shay: enough to wipe away her tea/me licks her lips and let's go of Naya's hand long enough to wipe away her tears. It isn't long before the doctor and nurses are ready and she's instructed to push. Shay grips the rail of the bed in one hand and uses her other hand to grip Naya's. She's scared of the pain, so she really holds back at first.

Naya holds her hand back and uses the other hand to hold underneath her knee where the doctor instructs her. She can tell that Shay's holding back and she looks down to meet her eyes. "Come on, baby girl. You can do it. You're so strong, I know you can do it." She encourages, wanting her to give it some more so that it's over quicker.

Shay listens to Naya and eventually gives it a little more as she keeps a tight grip on her wife's hand. As she pushes, whimpers and whines fall from her lips.

Naya "Doing so good, baby." She lowers her head to whisper in her ear and kisses the side of her forehead. She wants more than anything to be the one in the pain, hating to see her like this.

Shay is definitely in a lot more pain than she thought she would be and she's already incredibly tired. She rests her head back on the pillow and tries her hardest to catch her breath before she starts pushing again shortly after.

Naya gets her some water and tries to get her to take small sips while she's resting and she continues to encourage her as much as she can. "You're doing so good, baby girl. We're gonna see our girls so soon." She whispers softly.

Shay only takes one or two small sips when Naya overs the water to her. After a little while of pushing, the doctor announces that the first baby's head has made it's entrance. Shay is thankful to hear that, but she lays her head back again while the doctor gives her a super short break. "I-I'm tired, I can't do it anymore. Can't deliver the second baby, too." She tells Naya with tears streaming down her face.

Naya sees the baby's head come out and she's silent in complete shock. She snaps out of it when she hears Shay's voice and she looks at her to see the tears streaming down her face. "Hey, hey. Baby, listen to me. Yes, you can. You're doing so well and you're the strongest person I know. You can do this, baby girl." She whispers, pushing her hair back and kissing all over her face. "I love you so much, baby."

Shay shakes her head instantly and squeezes her eyes shut, "I-I can't. I want to go home." She cries softly, but the doctor encourages her to begin pushing again. Although she feels like she can't and she's super tired, she listens and pushes again. It isn't much longer before the sounds of Brielle's cries fill the room and Shay looks around quickly.

Naya feels her heart break but she knows that there isn't much she could do to take away her pain. She continues to encourage her and puts a hand under her head to help give her some support. When she hears crying filling the room, she feels tears in her own eyes. "O-Oh my gosh. She's here. You did it, baby. You did it." She whispers, leaning in to kiss her wife's lips just as they place Brielle on Shay's chest.

Shay begins to cry even harder from the mix of emotions. She looks down when Brielle is placed on her chest and then looks back up at Naha with a tiny smile. She's still feeling a lot of pain, but is happy to have their first daughter out. "O-Our baby..." She looks down at their baby again and leans forward to kiss her head.

Naya brings a hand to rest over Brielle's back and keeps her lips right above Shay's face. "She's perfect. I can't believe she's ours. I'm so proud of you, love." She whispers, trying to quickly wipe her tears as she has a huge smile on her face. She sneaks in a few quick pictures of her girls and then puts her phone away quickly.

Shay whispers a quick thank you as she looks back up at Naya. The doctor lets them spend a few moments with Brielle before letting Naya clip the cord and they quickly take her to be taken care of so that Shay can deliver the second baby.

Naya clips the cord where they say to and she watches her get taken away to get checked on. She makes sure everything seems okay over there and then focuses back on Shay. "Almost done now, baby girl. You're such a badass." She smirks.

Shay hardly has enough time to regain some energy before she's back in her position and pushing again. Of course, she knows this one may be a bit easier. While she's pushing, she's definitely getting distracted and keeps looking over at Brielle.

Naya wants to keep checking on Brielle, but right now she's too focused on making sure her wife is okay. She kisses her temple and keeps her hand tight in Shay's as she continues to encourage her to keep going. "Almost done and then you can rest, my love."

Shay had heavy tears falling down her face now and she's so tired. She continues to push as hard as she can, now focusing on the doctors words as well as Naya's. Shay lets out a sob when the doctor announces that Piper's head is now out. "I-I can't do it an-anymore." She tries to tell Naya.

Naya continues to encourage her and presses kiss after kiss to her head. She looks when the doctor speaks and is smiling until she hears Shay's words. "You're doing it, though. Doing such a great job and she's already part of the way out. Just one more time. Can you just try one more, baby girl?"

Shay nods instantly after hearing Shay's words because she knows that it really is almost over. Hesitantly, she gives it a couple more strong pushes and in no time Piper has made her way into the world as well. Shay cries a bit harder now and is so relieved when she's placed against her chest.

Naya feels instant relief fill her when Piper is out and crying. She has a huge smile on her face and a fresh batch of tears fill her cheeks. "I love you so much, my girl." She whispers to her, leaning in to give her lips a quick peck.

Shay reaches up to place her hand on Piper's back then looks up at Naya and gives her another smile. "I-I love you, too." She answers through her own tears. "We have our girls." She laughs happily.

Naya nods excitedly, her emotions all over the place as she tries to even find words. "You did so good, baby. I am so proud of you, it's insane." She confesses, reaching over to cut the cord when the doctor instructs her.

Shay looks down at Piper and then at Brielle and finally back at Naya, "I want to hold my girls." She pouts when Piper is taken away to be cleaned and measured, but listens when the doctor finishes Shay up. "Will you go get pictures, baby? Please?!" She asks Naya with a small smile and reaches up to wipe her tears again.

Naya is super reluctant to be away from Shay, remembering how she didn't want to be alone but she nods slowly and goes over to take some pictures. She keeps looking back at her wife in between everything, needing to know that she was okay. Naya gets a ton of pictures before she puts her phone away and just watches what's going on.

[littlcdeath]

//Another post about the alters, with some we were missing. This one was made by Becky like a year ago, and it’s definitely funnier than mine. Doesn’t include me because I hadn’t been out yet.

Ok, since Fae promised yesterday, here’s a general list of the people inhabiting this head. I’ll specify who age-slides, and what ages we can be when we do. I’ll actually try to specify what age everyone is. Be warned that we are well above 50, although not everyone’s active at once. I’m sorry if this is confusing. Hope the list helps • Fae- Actual owner of the body. Has not been fully “herself” since she was like 6 (when Harl got here). Always co-cons with someone because she can’t stand being out alone. Doesn’t know or care what we do with her life. Terrified of people. Has left us alone for extended periods of time. If you think you’ve talked to her, there’s a 99% chance it was actually Claire, Amanda, or me. Actually a very sweet kid, but very hurt. Will go to the end of the world for her friends. Can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. Paints herself as a bitch but is a softie. Her mom cannot tell the difference between her and me. Diabetic, to Nidia’s displeasure. Closet Gryffindor turned Slytherin in order to survive.

• Amanda – Our system’s “guard dog”/Head Bitch in Charge. Much more complicated than that. The real author of Fae’s thigh scars (barely visible now), and maybe the only reason she made it through high school. The little voice that says “kill everyone and blame it on me”. Zero concern for consequences for herself. Impulse control consists on “Jail is awful and Fae doesn’t deserve it”. She’s over 30.

• Lisbeth (Sally)- Just…Sally. The other voice that wants to kill everyone but doesn’t because she actually thinks about the consequences of her actions. Max is technically her partner, but we don’t talk about that (you can ask). I think she’s 30-something, but might as well be Fae’s age.

• Claire- Possibly Fae’s projection of herself into different universes. She can be 6, 17, 24 and 35. Last name Constantine. From Liverpool. Awful accent. Please don’t call her Australian. Another closer Gryffindor turned Slytherin. Most of Fae’s friends are actually hers. Has been Fae for longer than Fae has been Fae. Likes soccer and we’re sorry. Punk. Hella Punk. Also hella broke.

• Mara- Claire’s sister (maybe twin). Stay away from her (possibly the sexual alter, can be the same ages as Claire) Responsible for most of Fae’s awful dating decisions.

• Valentina- Rarely comes out, but she’s apparently God? We don’t know. Seems like she knows everyone, though. She always looks 20-something, but we know she’s older.

• Nidia- Claire’s daughter and the pure incarnation of Fae’s ADHD. A Jedi. Weirdest kid EVER. Super compassionate. Wears heart on her sleeve. Can be 5, 9, 16 and 21. Impulse control is 100% artificial, but existent. Can, like Amanda, drink up to 3 cans of Monster Energy Drink in a row without batting a lash. Will eat ALL THE CANDY. The reason we need to carry an extra insulin syringe with us most of the time. Pours fun dip and sweetarts into her drinks. The kind of kid child leashes were invented for.

• Hellena- Mara’s daughter. STAY AWAY. Evil incarnate. Abusive A.F. Can and will destroy you. In her 20’s

• Christine- Hell’s identical twin. Remember that girl in Mean Girls who wants to bake a cake out of sunshine and rainbows and smiles? Christine is that cake. Rarely out. Same age as Hell

• Evey- Hell and Chris’ big sister. That one kid with the pink hair and lots of tattoos. Zero impulse control. Always looks like a teenager for some reason (not over 25)

• Vlad- Agender/Genderqueer mystical creature of the forest. Valentina’s child. Awesome person in general. Permanently 17.

• Harley- Yup. THAT Harley. You know the drill. She’s actually the one who makes all the fun plans because she’s the one who has the energy for it. Gets along with everyone until she doesn’t. Can drink us all under the table. Can drink you under the table. Has been Fae for longer than Claire has been Fae. Was the first one here, so she has tattoo privileges. And dating privileges. And everything privileges, basically. If I say how old she is, I may not live to see another day. Fae’s real mum. Will take you to Petco on exam week to pet puppies. Will yell “doge!” out loud. Pets every dog. Will steal Teddy from Max.

• Edward- Mr. Nigma, sir. Somehow has better makeup skills than all the girls here combined. If his attitude was as nice as his eyebrows, he’d rule the world by now. EVERYTHING HAS QUESTION MAKRS. Knows more than anyone. Is actually a genius. Wastes his time trying to school the little ones (and trying to get Naya to use proper words). Smug bastard. Probs 40-something.

• Cass- Also from comics. EVERYTHING IS YELLOW (yiyo). Doesn’t talk much, but is always fun to have around. Will make you watch animated movies and take you to Starbucks. Will also make you work out. Can be 5, 9, 18 and 25. Smol Cass is a fan of pokemon. If it’s yellow, it belongs to her. • Naya- Cass’ child. Has her own language, featuring words like “kaijukata��, “pakato”, and “omashii” (“Kaiju attack”, an insult of her own invention, and her word for “mother”.) There are no sidewalks, only pedestrian lanes. Biggest Kaiju Enthusiast. Wants to be Mako Mori.

• M.J.- Has been here for as long as Harley has. Isn’t around as much. The difference between her and Claire is that you can actually understand what MJ says when she gets mad. Probs 25 forever.

• Danni- Amanda’s daughter. Will also fuck you up. Has the weirdest kinks. 23

• Miranda- Danni’s daughter. Don’t ask. Also a sexual alter. 21

• Martha- Miranda’s sister. Level-headed. A psychiatrist. 21. Actual most mature person in this head, along with Tári.

• Alice- Nidia’s daughter. Also a psychiatrist. Likes psychoanalyzing people. Type 1 bipolar. Thinks all Arkham inmates are humans and wants to help. Will probably end up as an Arkham Inmate herself. Age slides. Toddler Alice is the devil. Can be 5, 9, and 21

• Alyssa- Mara’s best friend. Take Alice out of wonderland and teach her ballet, then add a sprinkle of Luna Lovegood. Permanently 17-ish. • Robin- Alice’s little sister. Wants to be Carrie Kelly when she grows up. Terrified of squirrels. Can be 5 and 18.

• Tári- Alice and Robin’s eldest sister. Asperger’s. Genius extraordinaire. Loves to talk to Eddie. Often one of them leaves the conversation feeling stupid (it isn’t Tári). Loves Legos. REALLY LOVES LEGOS. Forensic Anthropologist/wants to be Bones when she grows up. Vegetarian. Can be 12/21.

• Frances- Harley’s kid. Don’t ask, this was super weird. Frances herself is super weird. She hears voices. The voices tell her to do things. She rarely listens. Actually super polite. Has “opal” hair. 18-20. We don’t really know. If we’re gonna have a sub-system, it will probably be because of Frankie.

• Shilo- Shilo Wallace. Infected by her genetics. Her nightmares are the worse. Once made Amanda and sally fight over a pair of combat boots just so she could get to keep them. Probably my best friend in here.

• Bellatrix- That one got here on her own. Over 50. Still looks great.

• Cassiopeia- Bella’s biggest mistake. Best teacher ever. Resident hipster chick. Looks like Zoey Deschanel. Is actually here to keep a little group of alters from causing too much mayhem. 23.

• Ascella- Lesbian extraordinaire. Sees dead people. I’m not even kidding. Permanently 23.

• Jamie M.- Another one who got here on her own. Our self confidence boosts and power trips. Will maybe kill someone. Better than you and is not afraid to let you know. Fae’s teachers were terrified of her. Everyone’s terrified of her; I don’t know who we think we’re kidding. 32.

• Lestat- Fae’s gay vampire boyfriend. Is rarely around anymore. Probably for the best. 260-ish years old. Prick.

And I’m missing a lot of others, but I’ll now introduce myself.

I really don’t want to say my name, because…well, I’m still not used to all this. I’ve been here for a little less than a year. Got here to protect Fae from a possibly harmful relationship. Did not work. Voted “Mom Alter” by the little ones (and some of the grown-ups). Apparently, too much like the kid. They call me “morbid” for some reason (not my fault everyone here is super fainthearted). Always cold and always in pain. I also age-slide and kind of don’t like it. 20-25. If we cancel plans, it’s most likely my fault and I’m sorry.

So yeah. This would be the general list of people you may encounter here. As I said, I may be missing some, but they’re either rarely active or not here for the time being. Feel free to talk to any of us at any moment, or ask to talk to anyone if you’d like. We have some degree of control over who’s out, so…yeah. And we’re always happy to meet new people. Well, some of us.

Anyway, that’d be all for now. Thanks for reading, and I hope this isn’t –too- weird.

[jj-ktae]

Millennials - Part 4 -

Title: Millennials Genre: Fluff, romance Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x You Summary: Life is made of stages and each of them is a hard push on the back, forcing you to forge ahead. You’re facing your biggest crisis, and then there’s him, who lives from day to day. Of course he does, he is just a kid. Words: 4749 Warning: Small age difference. Yugyeom x Noona Reader.

Check my masterlist for previous chapters!

Part IV

You don’t know how to deal with yourself. Most of the time, you know how to handle sticky situations, stress, or even yelling customers. So far you did great, dodging the bullets sent your way with little to no difficulty.


But that dress is too tight for a simple drink downtown.

“What, you don’t like it?” Naya enters your living-room with more clothes and toss them on the couch. “I think it suits you.”

You puff, hair flying away from your frustrated face. You’re not sure you can walk around wearing that. “Aren’t we overdoing it? It’s just-”

“It’s a date. You’re supposed to make yourself pretty for a date.” Your friend’s voice makes you groan louder, hands on your hips in front of the mirror.

It’s odd to consider this whole thing a date. Naya can’t stop nagging you about how pretty you have to be and how you should be kind and receptive to Yugyeom. She already teased the shit out of you for accepting, now she is going on and on about how you should apply makeup or how short your dress has to be.

You don’t want to wear makeup and you certainly don’t want to wear a tight dress.

She doesn’t seem to get the whole concept of being natural so you play along, not in the mood to crush her hopes and tell her you won’t be wearing anything too fancy as it doesn’t reflect your personality. She would insist, though, because ‘you can’t go wearing those lame jeans and dirty sneakers. Level up for that kid!’

What the hell does she mean by ‘level up’? Yugyeom is a boy who doesn’t seem to be into fancy and shiny stuff, which shouldn’t even matter because you don’t plan on seducing him. It’s a date for everyone else but you, even though your mind screams at you to just let it go for one evening and enjoy. You sigh loudly, pulling on the fabric to make it longer.

“I don’t think he expects me to be this…glamourous.” You try one last time, checking the clock on your living-room’s wall. “Also, I have to go soon.”

Naya clicks her tongue, finally giving up and aiming for a casual outfit. “This.” She shakes another piece of clothing, this time longer and thicker. “Is that fine with you, boring girl?”

You eye the deep blue clothes, tilting your head. Finally, some normal outfit.

You still don’t know why you agreed. You want to find an explanation to such a weird behaviour but you know there’s nothing more to say.

Against every attempt to lie at your stubborn self, you conclude that you agreed because it didn’t sound like a bad idea. There’s no reason to reject him, after all. You tell yourself that you hate him and everything he represents, but that doesn’t mean you have to crush him and his candid hopes.

Maybe it’s because he gives you attention. Maybe your conflicted feelings come from both his bubbly behaviour which you despise and his caring side which stirs your interest unwillingly.

You can’t deny your behaviour changed.

It makes you go back on full cold mood sometimes, when you notice your own body warming up to his presence. It’s a mere need for validation you think, it’s nothing romantic so you refuse to call this whole thing a date.

The scariest part lies in the fear of him being disappointed by your insignificant existence.

Yugyeom texted you two days ago, asking if you were free tonight. He had a few days off because of important exams and explained they would end today. You accepted, trying your best not to chuckle at how clumsily he writes all his messages.

This morning he sent you a very intimidating “I can’t wait for tonight, noona.” Which turned you muted and resulted in leaving him on read.

Naya’s voice echoes in the room and it feels like a huge bell destroying your eardrum.

“I’m coming!”

--

Yugyeom doesn’t usually panic. He had dates with pretty and funny girls in the past, but never was he so stressed about a mere evening with you.

He hates himself for being so shy around you, his hopeless love crushing every attempt at being somewhat normal. Yugyeom is not normal in front of you and it scares him how easily you would end him with a simple remark. He then does his best to make that date perfect despite his poor competences.

Yugyeom goes for what he thinks is the easy route and asks for advises.

But as he stands in front of his friends, he starts questioning his life choices.

Bambam introduces the situation like he is a dumb guy, a fool who can’t be saved. “Kim Yugyeom, 21, asked his crush out and she said yes. The date is tonight but look at him,” His thin arms shake around him, like he is about to make him disappear. “he won’t make it without us.”

Yugyeom shakes his head, choosing to ignore instead of beating his best friend up. “No one asked you.” He sits the opposite direction so he can face his two other friends.

Maybe Jackson and Jinyoung aren’t any better.

Jinyoung doesn’t know how to stop being a bastard, while Jackson offers way too much to anyone who’s willing to even smile at him.

“Why so anxious? She said yes, right?” Said Jinyoung starts, arms crossed over his chest like he owns the whole building. “Be natural.”

Jackson scoffs, getting up and everyone knows he is going to be noisy from the way his mouth opens. “Let’s prepare you a little bit. Jinyoung, don’t tell him to be natural when your last crush ran out of your store, crying.”

Bambam chuckles, now twirling around the trio while whistling.

Jinyoung hums, unimpressed. “Says the guy who gave all his savings to a girl who told him she needed it for her mother’s hospital bill. Yeah Jackson, let’s all follow your disgusting and stupid gullibility.”

Jackson gasps, pointing an angry finger at his friend while Yugyeom closes his eyes in frustration. “She told me she loved me!”

Bambam stops to snap his fingers at the pair, his body now against the couch where Yugyeom is close to having a very dangerous nervous breakdown. “Why did you ask these two? Even google would provide better advices.” He whispers, shrugging.

Yugyeom groans, getting up. “Forget it. I thought you’d be of any help but I guess I’ll just suck it up and do as I please.

Both Jinyoung and Jackson stop. “No!”

Yugyeom freezes, bewildered.

“Joke aside, stop freaking out. She agreed so don’t worry about messing things up. Talk about yourself but not too much, show interest but not too much, be a gentleman, laugh at her jokes and don’t make the situation awkward. Do you really need us for that?” Jinyoung sighs, lifting a hand toward Bambam who is busy playing on his phone. “You, get me something to drink.”

Bambam snorts, getting up and whispering about bossy friends.

Jackson nods, face now serious. “Do you have condoms?”

Yugyeom turns red with embarrassment. “What? Why? Can we not talk about sex like you’re my parents?” “Safety first! Get prepared for any outcome.” His friend continues, not the least bothered.

Jinyoung slaps his arms, slightly offended and looking nauseous. “I don’t want to know either and I don’t think walking around carrying a pack of condoms helps in conveying honest feelings, Jackson.”

“Fine. Suit yourself.”

Yugyeom lets Jackson pout while Bambam comes back with a freshly made coffee and a straight-out of the dry-cleaning outfit.

“Here. Black for you. Wear that turtleneck, it’ll make you look older than these weird stripped shits you wear. If I were you I’d show my tattoos but well, suit yourself.” Bambam lets the clothes fall on Yugyeom who is torn between being thankful and smack his friend’s head.

He doesn’t know why he asked for help but somehow, he feels relaxed from all the bullshit he just heard. Yugyeom gathers the tiny bits of courage left in him to get prepared at Bambam’s place and is extra careful when he styles his hair, opting for a laid-back style with enough fashion to make it look like he isn’t a boring guy.

He goes out of the bathroom, anxiously looking at his friends. “I’m ready.”

--

You don’t expect Yugyeom to be waiting in front of the brasserie but he is there, hands deep into his long coat’s pockets and leaning against the wall. He doesn’t see you immediately, too concentrated on whatever is happening across the street to notice your approaching form, small and anxious.

“Am I late?” You startle him, body now as straight as an I.

He lifts his arms in a soft protest, head shaking. “No, no. I came early.” He stops then, finally noticing your obvious effort – and you totally blame Naya for this – at makeup. “You look different, noona.”

He inhales, heart fluttering at the sight of you and if he didn’t know better he would have showered you with compliments already.

But somehow, he knows that won’t work with you.

You can only nod, somewhat conscious of your appearance and cursing your best-friend for making you stand out when you only live to blend in. Yugyeom coughs, obviously awkward yet determined to take the best out of this evening and turns around, aiming for the door.

The place is not as busy as you thought it would be. It looks fancy and simple, like these places they show in documentaries about cool kids enjoying night-life the posh way. You look at the paintings and decoration, a mix of renaissance and modern furniture giving off soft Italian vibes. Yugyeom is two steps ahead of you, eyes scanning the area as he stops to talk to one of the waiter.

“Follow me.” The thin guy walks, hands busy with a bottle and glasses, toward a semi-circular table. “I’ll be right back with the menus.” The seat follows the table’s pattern, circling it with deep green padded velvet and sending off intimate vibes wrapped in golden, tiny lights.

Yugyeom pinches his lips, forcing a smile as he leans to speak. “Is this okay for you?”. It looks awfully romantic but even though he loves it and wouldn’t mind snuggling next to you, he knows you can run away at any moment.

Yugyeom doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

He had planned this out in his head a million times. He knew what to do and not to do, how to behave so you won’t hate him even more, what to talk about so you won’t feel bored. He doesn’t want it all ruined right from the start.

You look up from the table, meeting an expectant Yugyeom who is already taking a step back to let you sit. “It’s fine. I like it here.” It’s true. You do like this table. It’s not in the middle of the restaurant so no one walks by and it’s quiet without it being suffocating – the soft music definitely helps filling the blanks. Yugyeom smiles when you approve and you force yourself not to shiver when his hand falls on your back to lead you to the seat.

It’s still so unusual of him to be taking the lead. It makes you see him differently, almost ten years older than he is and you don’t want to think about how manly he appears to be, now.

But all your resolve evaporates like steam when he takes his jacket off and sits next to you, revealing a tight turtleneck and black pants.

Was he always so built?

Maybe you were wrong from the beginning. Maybe you started seeing him like a kid from the moment he applied for the job at the grocery store. Maybe it comes from your initial hatred. It made you built an image of him which you refuse to take away.

But as he softly stretches his arms and unconsciously offers his chest, firm and defined, all reasoning goes to the garbage. Has he ever worn such fitting clothes before? You’re quite sure he never did, his usual style more of a comfy and layered one rather than a subtle, charming one.

“Are you okay?” He asks when confronted with silence and even his voice sounds deeper to your ears. You look from the busy room to his face and you can only nod at his puzzled face.

You’re not ready for what is about to come.

Therefore, you stay on your guard at the beginning, answering with short sentences and letting Yugyeom order for the both you. He doesn’t force anything on you, even when the two of you stay silent for a while. He knows you won’t become a chatterbox in the blink of an eye, for you can barely handle his presence most of the time. 
Still he tries, opening up about how he has been exhausted for the past month and how this exam period was going to end him. It pushes you to ask more, hence you end up with a lot of information, from why he decided to become a dancer to what he wants to do in the future.

Yugyeom is ecstatic. He answers with glee, eager to tell you more about him yet cautious not to sounds childish. He knows too much about that side of him and wants it to stay hidden, at least for now. He explains everything with care, from how he felt safer dancing, how it helped him deal with bullying, but also the opportunities it offers for the future.

You seriously never thought he had such deep thoughts about his career plan. He cherishes this discipline so much and seems to be so passionate as he explains how free he feels every time the music starts playing.

You can only listen, brain absorbing all his words and it soon becomes a comfortable exchange between you two. You don’t need to talk a lot, for Yugyeom always adds enough words to keep the evening alive. He leads the conversation like he knows that you don’t want to talk about yourself and he is fine with it.

It’s only when you’re done hearing about him that you decide you must share your story.

“My career path is a lot more boring than yours,” You start, fork playing with a piece of marinated artichoke. Yugyeom pours you another glass of Lambrusco but lets you speak. “I just gave up on school to work because I had no dreams for the future.”

Yugyeom hums and as you glance at his face you notice it doesn’t have that look of disappointment most people have when they learn about you.

Instead, he looks as handsome as ever, a smirk displaying on his now peaceful features. “So that’s how you applied for a job at the grocery store?”

You acquiesce, not knowing how to act when confronted with your own insecurities. You’ve never found yourself interesting nor worth spending time with. You understand how that country works and you know you don’t fit in anyone’s image of an ‘accomplished human being’. “It’s not something to be proud of.”

It scares you how you talk too much all of a sudden. You blame your behaviour on the sweet and sugary wine, but you know the truth.

It’s all Yugyeom’s doing. It’s all because of him and his caring face.

He sighs, breaking the peaceful yet dreadful moment. “But are you okay with your current situation?”

You think for a second. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m dissatisfied because it’s not what I want to do or if it’s because it’s not what society wants me to do.” You used to be fine with dropping out of school and not pursue a long and profitable career, but as you keep getting old, you start to wonder if it didn’t make you lose your value.

Nothing made you think otherwise, so far. Nothing and no one made you think like you were fine the way you were.

Yugyeom swallows his food and moves on his seat so he can face you, “You may think I’m a brat for what I’m about to say,” He wipes his mouth with the bright napkin and puts it on the table. “but society and what it wants us to be is bullshit. No one should be forced to do anything because of a bunch of people who think they know what’s best for everyone.”

You blink softly, finding it hard to believe that Yugyeom is actually being deep about such an important matter.

He keeps going. “My father used to tell me dancing isn’t a real job. He told me I would end up old and without any real source of income, that I would be a disgrace to the family and society. I promised him I would succeed and show him as valuable as anyone else I can be. I took a part-time job because I wanted him to see I could manage well on my own. So far he never complained, but I know he isn’t satisfied with what I want to do.” He laughs to himself, quietly. “I’m talking about myself way too much, sorry about that, noona.”

You shake your head, fidgeting on your seat so you can also face him. “It’s fine. I’d rather hear you talk about yourself than talk about me. There’s nothing much to say about me anyways.”

Yugyeom looks surprised, eyes wide under the thick layer of bangs. “It’s not true. I think you’re very interesting.”

You try to focus on his gentle face, your heart slowly clenching at the words. “You don’t have to, but thanks.” Of course he doesn’t want you to feel bad about yourself. He is always so soft and caring, why would he confirm the fact that your existence is nothing but a big failure?

He munches on his last piece of bread, laughing and shaking his head. “I mean it. You are as important as anyone else in that damned country. It’s just that we need validation, right? I used to think the same, but now I don’t care that much. I’m happy with the way I live and no one will take that away from me.”

“But you have a dream, at least.” You utter, not comfortable with the compliments.

He scoffs. “It’s all the same, noona. No one cares about a kid who wants to become a dancer.” He puts the fork down and gulps down the rest of his glass, feeling full. He didn’t except the conversation to be this serious but then again, he is happy with the outcome.

He can feel how you underestimate yourself because he used to feel the same. He hates how low you think of yourself but he isn’t surprised. It explains a lot, now.

“Will you show me how you dance?”

His breath gets caught in his lungs, making him cough. He is already too anxious because your knee is touching his and you want to see him dance? Good lord, he might not survive that. “What?”

He looks so alarmed as you laugh. Why does he have to be so adorable? “You don’t have to agree. I’m just curious, now that you told me how passionate you are.”

“We-well, I guess yo-yo-you can come see m-me.” He finds it hard to spit the words, his heart erratic and body warm with apprehension.

Once you're done drinking, you notice the silence is not as uncomfortable as it used to be.

--

Yugyeom almost fights you so he can pay, insisting it was his idea and you shouldn’t have to pay for anything because he wants to invite you and you give up, laughing at how his broad body takes most of the space, blocking you. You end up thanking him, slightly embarrassed because now it does look like a real date.

As soon as you’re out, he spins around, a tiny smile illuminating his now calm face. “Do you want to go for a walk?” He takes his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. “It’s still early.”

You agree, not finding it in you to reject his offer even though you are freezing and were sick a couple of days ago. He carefully walks, trying not to go too fast for he isn’t used to stroll around and glances next to him from time to time just to check on you.

You follow, eyes looking at your feet. Weirdly, you enjoy the feeling of walking around peacefully, without feeling obliged to speak and be social. Yugyeom lets your mind wander wherever it needs to go and you wonder if he also enjoys the moment.

You walk into a busy street and it’s only then that Yugyeom speaks. He finds the noises comfortable enough for him to finally speak his mind and takes a deep breath. He can do it.

“I really enjoyed that diner with you, noona.” You find him looking everywhere else but at you, but you don’t miss the way his face turns red.

You snuggle into your jacket, agreeing. “I did too, Yugyeom.”

He loves the way his name feels on your lips and he finally looks down at you, ready to fire you with more compliments yet fighting with that tingling feeling at his nape.

He sees you all hidden into your clothes and gasps. “You’re cold? I’m so sorry, ah, and you were sick.” His alarmed face looks around the street as he stops to face you.

“It’s fine, It’s not that cold any-”

“There!” He offers his best smile and grabs your hand before walking toward one of the shop. “Hurry, let’s get you some warmth.”

He grips your hand like his life depends on it and you follow, his long legs giving him a speed you find hard to keep up with.

Yugyeom rushes into the shop, aiming for the clothing section and grabbing a deep purple scarf. “You like the colour?”

Before you can even agree he rushes to the counter, not even letting go of your hand even when he struggles to reach for his wallet in his back pocket.

“Wait, I can pay for-” Any form of protest is useless with Yugyeom, who clicks his tongue and explains it’s his fault you’re in the cold. You’d rather say it’s your fault for not covering yourself, though.

Yugyeom lets go of you when you’re both out of the shop. His hands unfold the scarf and leans to wrap the thick knitted clothing around your neck. He scrunches his nose at how it almost covers your face but seems to be satisfied.

He is dying inside.

You blink, eyes barely able to look at him from behind the scarf. When did you become so obedient around him?

He made you loosen up when you thought you had everything under control. You don’t even mind, wondering when was the last time you got someone caring about you so genuinely. “Are you satisfied now?” It makes you tease him, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. You never thought it would turn out this way when you agreed on meeting Kim Yugyeom.

Maybe you knew. Maybe it’s why you didn’t want to do it initially.

“Very much so.” Yugyeom smiles the brightest smile he has ever showed you, straightening his back and walking again.

He doesn’t reach for your hand a second time.

Instead, he walks closer, still looking at the shops and avoiding people walking by. You both keep on walking, Yugyeom pointing at things from time to time to tell you more about him, which results in him explaining the importance of chocolate milk in his life and how he loves eating the same thing over and over again.

He makes you laugh frequently and always ends up feeling flustered which you find endearing. How can this kid be so cute and manly at the same time?

You end up to the conclusion that this is what makes him so charming. The fact that you always had to deal with his bubbly side made you think that he was only a needy child but you were wrong. He too, can be complex.

It makes it all interesting, from the way he seems to understand your struggles to how calm he can be when needed. You never thought he could be so attentive.

“Do you want to go back home, noona?” he speaks when the wind start getting stronger. “I can walk you home.”

You wonder if you should agree. So far you accepted everything, from the bill to the scarf. Maybe you shouldn’t rely on this kid, it’s dangerous for both of you. “I’ll just take the last bus.”

He seems disappointed, but also worried. It’s like you’re the younger one, the girl in distress who needs a man beside her for safety reasons. “Is it safe? I made you come all the way here…” He doesn’t insist but blames himself, his face now pouty and it’s the only thing you need to give in.

He gets you too easily.

You walk toward a bus stop, checking the time. “I just don’t want to be a burden.” You utter, more to yourself than to him.

Yugyeom’s cheeks go up and he is relieved, now. “You could never be a burden, noona.”

You hum, nodding and taking the seat at the empty bus stop. He stays next to you, hiding his ecstatic face into his coat.

--

Yugyeom looks at your building, fascinated. You don’t live that far from his parent’s house, but the feeling is different. It’s a cool neighbourhood, with brick walls and plants hanging onto the numerous windows. It suits you.

You grab your keys, the noise getting his attention. “Thank you for the food, the scarf and for walking me back here.”

The boy nods eagerly, feeling nervous. Can anyone die of a heart attack at twenty-one? “Don’t thank me, I really had a great time with you, noona. Thank you for coming.”

“I did too.” He looks so pleased with your answer. How? How does this boy find happiness in the most trivial things you do or say? It makes you turn soft, so soft you want to slap yourself.

You stop talking, eyes focused on his disturbingly gorgeous face. You don’t understand why that boy is looking at you like you’re the most important person.

You never imagined someone could feel that way about you.

Yugyeom waits for you to speak, but you say nothing. He chuckles, embarrassed for expecting anything and opting for a goodbye. “Good night, noona.” He bows swiftly, heart clenched.

He must run out of here before he starts doing creepy things. He can already picture Jinyoung smacking him for being too confident. Despite his evident disappointment, he turns around and walks away.

Yugyeom is proud of himself. He didn’t do anything bad – at least nothing that made you kick him and he is pleased with the outcome. He knows nothing about the future and how your relationship will evolve, but he is glad it changed positively.

“Wait!” He turns around before crossing the street, not believing his eyes when he sees you running toward him. “Your legs are so long; you walk way too fast! I couldn’t even say bye.”

You know it’s not true. You only snapped out of your reverie when he walked away.

Yugyeom opens his mouth, ready to tell you that it’s fine, that you don’t have to worry about a mere goodbye but he stops breathing. He literally holds his breath like he is in deep water.

The water being you, wrapped around him, on the tip of your toes.

“Noona, are you okay…?” he whispers, words jerky. Maybe he died of a heart attack a couple of minutes ago and it is what heaven looks like?

You part from him, hands on his shoulders and giggle at how lost he seems to be, before you.

“Next time, I’ll pay.” You breathe, not caring anymore about any type of blush appearing on your face.

Yugyeom makes you do things you never did. It’s as refreshing as it’s scaring you but it’s one of those days, one of those days you want to believe and accept something as bright as his personality.

So naturally you reach for his face and peck his cheek, sweetly.

“Sleep well, Yugyeom.”

--