#would like one that has been in minimal scandals perhaps. if possible

[hawkeyefrommash]

are there alternative organizations to nanowrimo that aren't sketchy as hell?

[electricbluebutterflies]

"They're gone, it's okay."

Late-era Jessica/Leto, vaguely NSFW (Things Happen but it's not the POINT here), late queued crosspost // also on ao3.

It’s over. Skies, it is finally over.

The nicest thing he can say about these incidents is that their frequency has decreased over time, and in another decade or so they will… perhaps never stop entirely while he lives, but at least change focus, at least be understood enough that he is past the point when most people marry. The door must always remain open, but only by an inch or two, not enough that anyone realistically thinks it’ll ever happen at this point. The recently departed envoys clearly knew that, but this is a necessary stop when some mid-tier House has a newly-of-age female to advantageously ship elsewhere, and there may not even be need for a formal rejection this time, and-

He has made his choices, and as long as the delicate balance holds everything will be alright.

With that carnival of false fronts and respectful lies over with, he can turn to what actually matters, to the reasons he has no desire to bind himself to some trinket of a girl less than half his age. How could he ever, he wants to ask, when his domestic life is already full enough, when he already has an heir who is everything he could hope for in a legacy, when he already has-

It is the issue of his partner that weighs upon him hours later, when he finally has time to deal with her. They have discussed routines for these occasions, practiced enough that there is no need for discussion anymore. She compartmentalizes herself so well when she must, does not hide herself away as if scandal could be avoided at this point but does what she can to minimize all the same. Less flattering dresses, a retreat to the bedroom at the other end of the hallway that otherwise is no more than storage space, he doesn’t think he’s heard her say more than a few polite words at a time in nearly a week and-

She is where she belongs now, in their shared spaces, done up like she does when she wants attention and he hates that they are like this but at least there are routines, at least her storms are predictable. He has tried to be respectful with her over the years, especially when she was still deciding who she was, but she’s pieced together what he is particularly attracted to and when she needs that information she uses every bit of it. She is a vision now, hair loose, burnt orange slip-dress they both know won’t stay on her long, frustration in her eyes that will go every possible direction, perched on the edge of their bed like a thousand other nights she’s wanted something and-

How could he ever even think about any other potential life when he is so gloriously overwhelmed by this one?

They meet in the middle as they always do, and he knows her better than he suspects she will ever let anyone else see her but it is still not enough sometimes, still no open explanations for some of her behavior. The distances she keeps are more than he would ask – it is becoming less important that she pretend she is not what she is, and if she ever has doubted the depth of his commitments to her then she’s been kind enough not to say – but these reunions afterwards are everything, reminders that they have been together so long and she is still desire incarnate and-

“They’re gone,” he murmurs, as if he doesn’t know damn well she hasn’t spent the past week watching everything of interest in ways he does not care to understand. “It’s okay.”

“I’m hibernating next time,” she replies as she leans in to take a kiss, and going several days without that is just unfair. “I mean it. I’ll hide for a week and you can pretend I’m dead or something.”

“You threaten that every time. You’d get bored. You’re dangerous when you’re bored.”

“And you love it,” she breathes, almost laughing and skies these rare moments she seems almost happy are always so confusing. Build a life with someone, take their body as one’s own, take seventeen years  of their midnights, and still-

“Doesn’t make you any less-“

She makes one of her low sounds, and oh there are days he wonders what she would’ve been like if she wasn’t burdened with such a combination of obligation and damage. “I am your heart,” she says like she’s spent the past few days reminding herself of that commitment with every breath she takes. “And I am much better at being your red right hand.”

He will not confirm or deny, so much occasionally rides on his presumed innocence, but… she is not and never wrong, and her combination of ability and determination is at times… better not to know, but one of the more likely reasons they’re still alive, he can admit that once. One of the great many reasons he adores her, one of-

“Love-“

“Does anyone even believe you anymore? Are we safe?”

He answers her with kisses, hopes this will be enough. There is such comfort with her – he lost track years ago of how many important conversations they have had while their bodies are entwined, there is something about touching her that gives clarity – but it is too early to call. There will be another way to figure out the possible alliance, there is always another way, but-

“Give me time.”

“How is that the harder thing you’ve asked me for?”

She is not as confrontational as she usually is, at least there’s that. Routine only goes so far, and sometimes these rituals end in a harshness neither of them is usually inclined towards, desperate movements and strange aftermath. They are perhaps too predictable in their intimacies, but they have had time to become so, time to learn how to mesh preferences. It may have helped that she didn’t exactly come with any, but-

There were others before her, but none since, no space in his mind to even think otherwise. Who could ever betray her? Who could look at her like this, glowing in the half-light, and want anything else in the known world?

They both know where the line is, what they want and what he will never do. If he actually were the person the outside world thinks he is, he’d ignore it all and marry her. They have acted as such, maneuvered situations accordingly, and it would just be a formality but it still remains unthinkable and-

As it is, he kneels for other reasons, for the sake of routines and an understanding of how to overwhelm his partner. She asks for so little and still has the nerve to say he doesn’t ask for enough, and her dislike for attention is as real as anything about her but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. He still remembers all too vividly how cold she was at the start, how she let him do anything to her without any real response, and at least they got past that but sometimes he wonders if normal routines are really that much of an improvement. Touch is not her love language, but it is his and it is safe and she allows and that is enough, it is less than he wants but it is enough, it is-

“You don’t need to-“

“I want to.”

He’d talk, if she’d let him, if he thought she’d listen instead of getting all defensive and turning it into a fight. He’d make clear every way he can that he loves her in a way that challenges his understanding of himself, in a way that defies every belief he’d had about entanglements before her. They challenge each other, and the effects their dynamic has had on her are perhaps more obvious but he is also the person he has become because of her, because of the clarity he finds even in their disagreements. Because she tries so hard, and they are real, against the odds they are real and-

He would remind her of these things, if he thought she was in a mood for it. But he knows her signals, knows what kind of communication she actually wants when she dresses the way she has tonight, and there are other ways to say the same things without words.

There is maneuvering – she ends up on the edge of their bed, there is no reason to cause discomfort – and there is a different understanding with this particular intimacy. It is not something either of them usually enjoys – she doesn’t like her thighs getting marked up, and he doesn’t care for the limitations on their communication – but there are times it makes sense, times there is no other way forward. He does want, and she is cooperative enough, and there are worse consistent forms of apology and-

Breathe, she signals against his shoulder. She prefers quiet when they are entwined – a comment about how she tastes would be answered with a particularly sharp glare no matter how clearly he means it – and she is efficient, still unwilling to accept that he might want to take time enjoying her. She makes herself easy, never any real need for foreplay, and-

At least she allows this. At least she keeps her legs parted and lets him kiss her core until she’s pleasantly overwhelmed, until she falls apart in near-complete silence with only a single sharp breath as a signal. At least they understand each other.

There is nothing for her to fear, he’d say if he actually thought she needed the reminder. There is nothing more important than them.

He stays put long enough to make himself clear, long enough that he makes up for a few days of ignoring her. Trying to predict her desires is this side of impossible, but her touch-need is loudest when she has been denied – she will be clingy for a week or two, they both know, and he will make time for reassurances as he can. She is everything, he thinks on repeat as he tends to her, she is everything and sometimes he does wrong by her but there is always a way back, there is always-

Come here, she signals against his shoulder, and whomever created that language could not have meant for it to be used by lovers but it is convenient sometimes and-

“You’re too covered,” she murmurs, standing at the same time, hands instinctively going to his collar. “It isn’t right.”

“You’d still have me?”

“I wouldn’t feel threatened if I didn’t want you,” she breathes, leaning in for a deep kiss. “I wouldn’t hurt if I could imagine letting someone else get this close. Someone else getting to know how beautiful you are.”

They are not as young as they once were, and there is a certain power in her reminders, in how real her attraction still is. Her kisses are still real, the movements of her hands are still real, the way she brings him into her is the most real thing in the world and-

“You know better,” he breathes against her skin, and he is unsure where he ends and she begins. “There is only you.”

She gives him a look that is improper for their current condition, and if his lover is daydreaming about where she might have to hide other bodies as he covers hers, well… who is he to complain?

[almacantarastories]

Almacantara: First Vane (2/)

THE LUNESTI ROYAL HOUSE HAD not, of course, informed Thrawn of his bride-to-be’s condition. Vanto would refer to this with some charming Wild Space colloquialism–”a puffer-pig in a poke,” was it? But he’d already made the agreement, and he could not back out on it now just because he had not done as much due diligence as he should have. And the Lunesti had hidden this information very well.

     He had found that out himself, or one of his intelligence analysts had done that for him. But he had read the report and agreed with its conclusion. It explained a certain odd quality to her voice and pronunciation, and why there were very few recordings of her speaking live. Perhaps even it explained how she styled her hair and posed herself for holographs and portraits, although this had to be studied against similar images of Lunestian royals and nobles in her age cohort. Even the candid ones had a certain staged quality, as if there were a royal fiat against an angle. 

     Yes, he had a feeling her portraits had given away the game, if only he had seen them for what they were. It was a surprising amount of subterfuge for the Lunestians, who were known for their secrecy, if not for their subtlety.

     “The condition is congenital, Your Majesty,” said the analyst who drew the short straw and relayed this information to him in-person, the anxious tremor in their voice distracting him from his thoughts. 

     “A full genetic sweep was done at birth–there’s a copy on page two–and to the best of their medical knowledge, it’s not hereditary. Medical experts from across the Empire of the Hand and the Chiss Ascendancy agree with their opinion after reviewing the records, with all identifying information scrubbed, of course. There were some ancestors with unspecified hearing impairments on either side of her pedigree; it’s entirely possible that it is a quirk of two recessive genes–”

     Thrawn lifted his hand, beckoning for them to stop. “I appreciate your informing me of this, but does it matter?”

     “I–Your Majesty?” the analyst replied. Their eyes darted about the room; clearly this was not the reaction they had expected from him. Surprise, wariness–more than a little confusion as well.

     “The most recent data suggests she can communicate reasonably well despite these limitations, does it not?” Certainly she could read and write in Sy Bisti, which is what their correspondence had been in. There was confirmation that she did actually write those for herself, even if he suspected she had been instructed on what to say. The way the letter writer shaped their Bogdanese script was very similar to proven samples of her handwriting, for example, a common tendency to place the mark on dotted glyphs just off-center, and a curling shape on her veys in her signatures in Basic. Even the italic stylus she favored was present. 

     “Well, yes–” the analyst gripped their datapad a little harder. “But–”

     “And this mysterious condition has had no apparent impact on other aspects of her health?” He asked, stroking his chin. He would have to broach the topic with the Imperiatrix carefully. 

     The analyst pursed their lips, their facial heat diminishing slightly. “There’s a tendency to space sickness, but the Royal House has hidden any other traces, or they’re so minimal that they aren’t included in her medical files. Uh, aside from one social media holovideo of the Imperiatrix’s golden anniversary procession where Princess Sueloro was ill on the Tinarian First Minister’s suit. But that’s nearly twenty standard years old.” 

     “Is she likely to make a similar scene in the near future?” Thrawn had, of course, seen the holovideo. The clip of his soon-to-be fiancee, a child of nine or ten at the time, was sandwiched in between other clips of soldiers fainting in the heat and minor royals engaging in drunken fisticuffs over hors d'oeuvres. It was mildly amusing, especially when the bloviating Tinarian First Minister was so outraged that his monocle popped from his eye socket, but nothing scandalous; her subsequent public holovids and holographs were standard for a minor royal of her age, if rather carefully shot and styled. 

     “Well–I imagine she’s got it under control by now.” the analyst mused. 

     “Then it is of no concern to me.” He tapped his datapad for emphasis. “What does concern me is the Lunestian assumption that I am so desperate for doonium and hyperspace corridors that I would jump at the first alliance I am offered.”

[fenikkusunohisana]

Internal Affairs

“This scandal cannot be allowed to continue. We are a laughingstock.” “What was he thinking ?” “He clearly was not. If he had been, that filth would not have been brought in  here, wouldn’t it ?” “I am certain he regrets falling for that woman’s wicked features. It is  easy to see how she beguiled him with her feminine charms. Who would not fall for that witch?” Gathered in the gloom of the descending evening, high ranking officials within the Kuchiki clan were having a exclusive meeting far from the estate Without Byakuya of course. For the topic of conversation was not one he would have been pleased about. And should he ever learn of these meetings, his displeasure would be unfortunate to witness.

Yet, despite the comments, they respected him.He was the rightful heir to the clan and had the notable lineage, as well as, upbringing to manage the clan. What they had an issue with...was what he decided to marry and by extension, adopted as well. The latter, they had no choice but to begrudgingly accept as she moved through the ranks to captaincy.  Perhaps even, the fact she was strong and garnered good attention..lessened their resentment. Rukia was probably salvageable..if lineage was forgotten. Still a parasite but..more tolerated. Her elder sister...useless. They could not understand what Byakuya saw in her. What the appeal was. She was pretty for a commoner..would make a good prostitute or whore ..but a head of a clan’s wife ? No. She was sickly or had been at least..which puts into question her ability to produce an heir even if they accepted her. Then there was her lack of understanding of the social graces, knowledge and etiquette that came with being from a noble house. No amount of training could change who or what she was. Simply put, Hisana did not belong in their world and if Byakuya could not see it..then they will help him. “That woman has got to go. For the good of everyone, especially Kuchiki-sama. Once he is freed of that burden, he will be free to marry someone closer to his status. Then he can have an heir and continue our bloodline. Even that other ‘blemish’, her sister, can be overlooked if this..happened.” “You make it sound so easy. If Kuchiki-sama found out, we will all be dead..even if it is for his sake.” “I already have a very plausible and convincing plan in mind. It will work..if everything is performed perfectly and efficiently.” Shifting closer, the group of at least seven listened attentively as their underhanded and wretched plans were whispered in the darkness. ------------🌸🌸🌸🌸-----A week and a half later----🌸🌸🌸---------

Hisana had a book laid on a table before her, contentedly enjoying the quiet of the early afternoon as she tried to focus and learn more about her clan, the noble houses and the history of Soul Society. Slender brows were furrowed a s she concentrated. Needless to say, if she did not take notes, she would have forgotten what she read two sentences ago. It may take some time but the summarized notes should help retain the knowledge and be key in reviewing the information later. A soft sigh escaped her lips. It was not that it was boring..it was...just a lot of information. She was making progress..slowly but surely. At the very least, she was in her room, where disturbance was minimal and she could take a break as needed. Her brush paused in its strokes as a familiar reiatsu approached. His footsteps were silent as always but..his aura she knew like the back of her hand. Returning the brush to the ink well, Hisana rose to her feet and went towards the door in time to see her husband in his Captain’s attire. Hm~ A soft smile alighted upon her fair features, eyes shining with vibrance and gentle warmth, reserved for him alone. “Have a good day, Byakuya-sama. “ She inclined her head politely,  genuinely..happy to see him. Expressing herself to him was still..a hurdle but she was trying. It was difficult to gauge sometimes..whether she was overstepping her boundaries or not. Case in point..this request.  “Perhaps..if it is early enough upon your return and you are not too tired,..we can go for a walk and enjoy the stars ? “ Hisana was hesitant. Yet, she kept her voice as soft and as even as possible. She understood he was a busy man and did not wish to interfere in his work..but she was also aware..for their relationship to get better..there had to be an attempt.  That did not stop the nervousness and anxiety from clawing at her chest. Hisana was prepared for either response but..she also hoped he said /yes/. If he said no, then she would understand. It may hurt but it was a gamble. Navigating this relationship was just as foreign to her..as it was for him. The only love she knew or remembered, was the one she bore for Rukia. And that..was a different kind of love altogether.  Byakuya..was the first person..to have made his way into her heart , outside of Rukia. It was no easy feat. Hisana..was not an easy person to love..either, at least not in her eyes. Even now, it was a battle to accept that..despite the things she had done..despite..how dirty she was..he still cherished her..for who she was and not..what she did. And she did not feel as if she deserved that pureness of affection. Never thought it existed for her..and yet..here he was. It was strange. Yet, it was one of the many things she had to overcome..and at the very least, was cognizant of the fact that he would be next to her for as long as it took. And..she’d do the same.

@scnkei​​

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

requested by @aida690adriana: Hello. I don't know if your requests are open. Can I ask for a script for Sebastian, Claude, Othello, Eric Slingby, and Ronald Knox? Their fem s/o is an old friend of the Undertaker, often visiting him. Guys get jealous of their fem s/o and try to be close to her when she’s with the Undertaker. Please.

CLAUDE

First of all, he absolutely refuses to act in a way that will be immediately obvious to anyone around him. Letting others know that he’s jealous will make him look pathetic and insecure, or at least that’s the way he sees it. That’s the last aura he wants to give off because it’s like blood in a shark tank. Because of his duties as the Trancy butler, he can’t always accompany his S/O when she goes to visit Undertaker. That aggravates him a bit since he’s so used to being in control, but fortunately he has a solution. He always sends a few spiders with her to keep an eye on things. She may not even know they’re there, and they have ways of moving about fairly undetected. Even when he’s not with her, there isn’t a thing that happens which Claude doesn’t know about. Though he has to wonder if he’s being paranoid, if he sees anything to be worried about, he will put a stop to it.

ERIC

Although he doesn’t like it, for a long time he has no real reason to suspect Undertaker of anything unsavory. Why would he do anything, huh? He’s just a retired Reaper, isn’t he? And if he’s (Name)’s friend, that’s good enough for Eric. … At least, at first. He doesn’t have a jealous nature, but something about the whole situation throws up red flags for him. Maybe it’s because of his own behavior that he knows how secretive and dangerous someone can be while still appearing as a decent individual. He tries to deter her from visiting Undertaker so often, instead suggesting other things they can do together ― like a romantic walk, a nice dinner, a night of dancing. Nothing will shake that feeling he has, and he worries for his S/O’s safety. It’s a shame that he second-guesses himself, though; he dismisses that gut instinct as jealousy, and tries to tell himself he’s just being silly, so he eventually stops trying to distract her. However, whenever she visits, Eric is going to accompany her if at all possible.

OTHELLO

It doesn’t sit well with him, it just doesn’t! And he can’t explain it and he knows that Undertaker is one of his S/O’s oldest friends, but he can’t help how he feels! Something about his beloved darling spending so much time with the other Reaper just sparks up a horrible, jittery anxiety in Othello. He has no reason for it, and yet, he feels like he has to act on it somehow. Does she know what Undertaker is really doing in his spare time? Has she seen the side of him that Othello is afraid exists? Would this man ever hurt her? Despite how laidback Othello usually is, he can get very worked up when it comes to (Name) possibly being hurt or manipulated. Working in Forensics has perhaps made him a bit paranoid. His jealousy and concern get expressed in the form of him point-blank telling her that he has a bad feeling about Undertaker, and asking her if she can please please please minimize her contact with him. Othello has no control over what she does, though, and he can only continue to worry.

RONALD

It makes him so uneasy; not that she’s friends with Undertaker, more that she’s visiting him frequently on her own. Ronald doesn’t care who she’s friends with, but he’s heard gossip round the office about this other Reaper, and the man is quite possibly very deadly. Even though he’s unsure whether or not Undertaker would ever harm Ronald’s S/O, the simple fact is that Ronald isn’t willing to take the chance that it might happen. Not only is he worried about (Name) ― yes, to put it bluntly, he is jealous that his sweetheart spends a lot of time with Undertaker. Despite not wanting to dictate her friends or control her actions, he wants more time with her, time that he doesn’t always get because of his job, and that makes him sad. Much like Eric, he does his best to distract her by planning other, romantic activities for the two of them. All he can do from there is try to keep her away before something bad happens.

SEBASTIAN

He certainly doesn’t want to give away that he’s feeling jealous, because similarly to Claude, he feels like putting it on display (except in certain situations) is advertising that he’s insecure about his relationship with his S/O… like he thinks he could lose her to someone else. Even though she and Undertaker have been friends for a long time, likely since before Sebastian knew her, he isn’t very fond of the fact that she might choose an old friend over her current lover. Of course, he does his best to make sure she doesn’t suspect a thing about these feelings of his. He simply begins to ensure that he takes up more of her time than usual. He does that by whisking her away for a romantic night before she can even think about leaving to visit Undertaker. He’s determined to erase any memories of the Reaper by replacing them with memories of him dipping her scandalously low as they waltz at one of Ciel’s balls. If he absolutely can’t stop her visit, then you can bet Ciel will “conveniently” find a reason to go hit up Undertaker for information, and take Sebastian with him.

[primitiveprimelab]

Diogenes the Cosmopolitan

Alexander the Great once walked up to the philosopher, Diogenes, who was sunbathing, and asked if he could grant him any request--Diogenes replied to Alexander, “you can stand out of my light!”

The idea of being a citizen of the world, or cosmopolitan, has been around for quite some time. In the 5th-Century B.C., philosopher, Diogenes the Cynic proclaimed himself as one, refusing to limit his identity to a singular locality. A controversial figure of his day, Diogenes rejected not only local citizenship but also other values, such as possessions and social status. So much so, he owned little to nothing and lived in a tub or cask in the streets of Athens. He considered society a pretentious construct that filtered out one’s true nature, at times inspiring him to take to town with a lantern in broad daylight in search for an honest man.

An interesting fact about the philosopher is his exile from his native city of Sinope (present day Sinop in Turkey, then a colony of Greece). His father was a banker and either Diogenes, or his father, or both were at some point involved in a counterfeit scandal of minting debased coins; that is, reducing the value of the money by tampering with the amount of the material it should be made out of. Banished, Diogenes lost all his possessions and citizenship. Whether Diogenes took up his cynical philosophy as a result of this earlier experience, or if it instead humbled the man, allowing him to find a better way of life is anyone’s guess. 

His reported disdain for cultural conventions, supposedly, went as far as going against the norms of even sleep and eating, choosing to do either whenever he felt like it, rather than the time(s) of day that society selected as appropriate. Manners and tact, were also fake to Diogenes, he wanted people to be as real as they could be.

“If I were not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes.” --Alexander the Great

When you read of his exploits, ranging from comically sarcastic remarks to explicitly vulgar public behavior, there’s almost a mission, on the behalf of the philosopher to teach his society a hard lesson. Possibly a spiteful lesson. Whereas he lost his citizenship and possession so too, should everyone else. 

Because of this disposition, one could argue Diogenes’ view of cosmopolitanism—Under the framing of his tendency toward brutal honesty (emphasis on brutal)—Being a “world-citizen” is less about a uniting camp-fire principle of global community. In fact, Diogenes could not practice true world citizenship as much of his world was still limited to a mainly Euro-Mediterranean and Asia-minor geography. Instead, for Diogenes the Cynic, cosmopolitanism is perhaps simply a fact as blunt as a club used to strike a sleeper awake. Easily supported by the common experience we each undergo everyday (unless we’re astronauts)—That of being aboard the same floating planet moving about in space.

In his defense, much of the stories about him are fables, and even some of the previously accepted facts have come under question, so hold space for any misinterpretation. Also, Diogenes believed in self-control and individual excellence; his rejection of the unnecessary was slightly akin to a minimalist view, that included the political complexity of one’s place of origin minimized simply to the planet one lives on.

[emotionalsupportfiction]

Stages of Love Lukas

Wow this is long. Most people would say Python is hard to write but in my experience Lukas is where I struggle. I hope I stayed as in character as possible and did him justice

Attraction:

•    Lukas falling in love with you was a long process as his priorities were elsewhere •    You came from a noble family but had abandoned them. Now a priestess from the Novis Priory, you enlisted into the Deliverance. Your family had aligned with Desaix, bled the common folk in your area dry with cruel taxes, and hired brigands to harass the nearby towns so the common folk would seek help from the nobility. Your family, in their greed, crippled the people they should’ve been protecting, so you left them for the Priory. •    You and Lukas would often strategize together, your family had a sizeable personal army and if you came to blows, it would be disastrous for your side. You were Lukas’ assistant in terms of managing the army. Spending so much time with each other brought you closer together and he mentioned in passing that he’d met you before at some celebration, you apologized for not remembering as you hated going to those parties and often your mind was elsewhere. •    A friendship developed as both of you had roughly the same background. Coming from noble families but ultimately leaving them. Both of you didn’t care much for social status but wanting to find their place in the grander scheme of things. You had an uncanny ability to peel back some of Lukas’ defensive layers and pick up on what was happening with him internally. •    You shared one of your observations of him, how his eyes have this different look to them out on the battlefield. “Quite the observation, I admit, it’s one of the few times I feel… something.” He folded his arms behind him and twiddled his thumbs “Does that frighten you?” he quirked his head to the side trying to read your expression. “More saddened than afraid really… Lukas, I wonder what could’ve happened in your past that caused you to be this way. To only come alive when your life is in danger.” He closed his eyes, purveying his thoughts “I can’t say with certainty if it's my upbringing or if something in me is broken. Perhaps I’m not normal.” There was resignation in his voice, you reached and presented your hand to comfort him. He looked at it perplexed “You don’t need to hold it if you aren’t comfortable Lukas. But if its any consolation, I don’t think you’re broken and I’m here for you if you need a companion as you try to figure out life.” He gave your hand a tentative touch then pulled away, folding his arms behind him once more. •    He picked up the conversation about not being normal, it was freeing to talk to you so openly. He confided about his insecurities regarding his personality, his coldness, inability to express emotions freely, his desire to feel something intense for once, all of which he deemed imperfections in his personality. You assured him they weren’t defects, that these “flaws” are what makes each of us a unique human being. That feelings aren’t to be forcefully felt, they just happen in varying intensities depending on the person. •    Lukas was drawn to how understanding you are and how you didn’t color his kindness towards you. As the friendship deepened you were slowly able to gauge what his boundaries were and the little tics in his personality. As he opened up more to you you never met him with comments like “See you can express emotion?” but you responded with gratitude he was opening up more to you and assurance he can take things at his own pace. •    After the war and Duma’s defeat, you and Lukas started teaching new recruits basic education (reading, writing, arithmetic, and history.) Most of your pupils were commoners but you both enjoyed spreading education to every social class. •    Lukas began noticing very unfamiliar feelings within him, catching himself staring at you, little things would remind him of you, and the sound of your voice and your smile was always on his mind. He’d feel “something” whenever your hand would brush against his or when you’d give him a pat on the shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to share the same space with you and he knew he had feelings for you but he wanted to make sure if it was romantic or leaned more on platonic.

Confession:

•    It took time for Lukas to fully process his feelings for you, never had he anticipated he’d develop any form of romantic attraction/affection towards another person. So he gave himself ample time to let the feelings sink in, to accept and be sure that his feelings were romantic. Lukas did not want a repeat of pursuing someone only to find out he was not emotionally invested whatsoever. •    He began courting you by spending more and more time with you ( just the two of you ), doing small favors, or giving you tokens of appreciation. You’d have tea together while going over lesson plans, spar, he’d gladly accompany you if you wanted to visit the priory at Novis from time to time, or you’d find gifts of either flowers or food you like on your desk with a note from him “You’re always on my mind.” “I thought of you when I saw these.” “Have you eaten yet? I hope you like these.” Are some examples of his notes. •    Lukas had never outright asked you if he could court you and this had been going on for a few months. You opted to confront him, he dropped by your desk  with his usual care package then you asked “Lukas, be honest, are you courting me?”  he folded his arms behind him and began to twiddle his thumbs, finding the right words to say  “I am.” A succinct response but you wanted more out of him “Well this is unexpected. You never mentioned being attracted to me or wanting to court me before… I’m just surprised.” He cleared his throat and looked at you sincerely, there was anxiety in his eyes “Perhaps I wasn’t being honest with myself in the past or I kept denying my affections for you. Granted everyone had described me as cold and emotionally subdued, I thought that was who I am, unfeeling. “ he reached out to hold your hand, you didn’t pull away. He intertwined his fingers with yours, the warmth of your hand giving him confidence. “I’ve stared a crazed dragon god in the eyes and felt little to no fear, yet when I look at you I feel so many emotions all at once. Happiness, longing, fear, and so many others. I am certain my feelings for you are romantic and I’d like to explore this side of me, hopefully, with you by my side.” You squeezed his hand “Of course Lukas.” This was the first time you ever saw Lukas smile up to his eyes. Layers of repression crumbling away, he finally found someone he could be wholly open to.

First Date

•    Lukas isn’t one for grand gestures and overly fancy dates. He prefers very intimate and private ones. Having a dinner date where both of you cook it together is very much his speed. He admits he prefers making desserts but doesn’t mind helping and learning how to cook your favorite meal and you don’t mind learning how to make his favorite desserts. •    He has his own brand of playfulness, you’ll ask for an onion to chop and he’ll roll it slowly towards you. Or if you ask him for a utensil (that’s not sharp or pointed) he won’t let go of it immediately, initiating a light tug-of-war with the faintest playful smile on his face. •    Dinner is enjoyed with deep conversation and warm banter. At this point, Lukas is comfortable with holding hands to the point he doesn’t let go of yours. After the meal, he’ll offer to do the dishes, pressing a soft kiss on your head. It warms your heart so much that Lukas is more giving and accepting of physical touch, it shows how secure he feels. •    He walks you back to your room in the barracks, hand in hand enjoying the moment. Walking about while holding hands would’ve been scandalous for Lukas’ past standards, now he isn’t so conscious about that trivial things, he’d rather enjoy every moment with you at his own pace. Right before you reach your room, he gets this sudden impulse. He quickens his pace, leading in front of you and in one fluid motion twirls you as if you were dancing. The gesture is sudden but romantic, your face is flush but with a wide smile on your lips “Well… what’s that all about Mr. Romantic?” you giggled, he cups your cheeks and slowly presses a kiss on your forehead then resting his against yours. “I’m not too sure myself… But I’d do it again,” Lukas gave you face a light squeeze before pulling you into an embrace.

First Kiss

•    Your first kiss was an accident. You were hesitant to push Lukas and make him uncomfortable while he was surprisingly bashful about asking you for more physically intimate interactions. •    Although at this point Lukas was comfortable with hand-holding, embraces, and kisses (on the cheek, forehead, hair, and hands) minimally in public. He was very forward when asking for cuddles during your one-on-ones •    Both of you were cuddling in bed, he had one arm wrapped around you as he read a book while you nuzzled into his shoulder. Maybe he was too engrossed in reading his book he didn’t notice you staring at him lovingly, thinking about how far he’s come opening up and being more comfortable with intimacy. You whisper his name and go in to kiss him on the cheek or jaw, whichever comes first except that doesn’t feel like his cheek. Then it clicks what had just happened, he heard his name and turned his attention towards you, your lips clumsily catching half of his. You quickly pull away, you feel like you overstepped his boundaries “Gods! Lukas, I’m so sorry, I only wanted to kiss your chee-“ he’d went ahead and kissed you right then and there, parting just enough to get some words in “You don’t have to be so hesitant with me love. I appreciate you being so considerate but we’re well past that.” He molded his lips onto yours with more passion “You’re the only one who’ll see this side of me, you’re the only one who can bring it out…” he locked you into a deep passionate kiss, pining you onto the bed…

First Time

•    Your first time together was also your first kiss, this intimate moment was many months (or up to a year) in the making. There was much build-up and one kiss was all it took for the dam to break, perhaps a little spontaneity was required to things going. •    Lukas is a simple guy, not one for tricks or adventurous positions for your first night together but that did not diminish the fervor and passion. You won’t hear him talk dirty but his kisses on every inch of your body spoke volumes of how much he adored and “needed” you. •    His gaze was intense as he hovered over you, one hand keeping his balance while the other was clasped tightly around yours, your grips growing tighter with every thrust. You couldn’t decide what to do with your free hand, it alternated between covering your mouth or entangling it in his hair. The way he looked at you and his focused silence melted your insides, you just knew “that” look was reserved for you and you alone. His breathing grew more and more labored, a moment later you heard his breath catch in his throat as he stopped abruptly. You felt him pull out of you and you whined in response to the sudden emptiness. Lukas spread your legs wider and went down on you, lapping at you with his tongue. He put his neck into, nuzzling deeper in between you sending shivers down your spine making squeeze his head with your thighs. He grunted then gripped your thighs to keep you steady, his hold was tight and you knew it would leave a mark. You felt your core tighten more and more then you just felt yourself melt into his mouth, Lukas gladly drank you in. Though spent from your orgasm, you’d gladly return the favor but Lukas said he’s in a giving mood that night. The sight of him looking at you, framed between your thighs stirred you once more. Lukas was certainly very generous that night and you’d repay that generosity once he was in a receiving mood.

Proposal

•    Another year into the relationship and Lukas brought up the topic of marriage. He’d become more forward with things he wanted to do, happen, or try out in your relationship. While you were open to getting married, both of you were preoccupied with serving the One Kingdom as knights. The thought of having your knightly responsibilities conflicting with wedding planning or married life wasn’t something you looked forward to. Lukas agreed on that point, he didn’t see himself staying a knight for the rest of his life and he had another long term goal in mind aside from marrying you. •    He asked what you’d do after retiring from knighthood. You enjoyed teaching recruits and wanted to do that full-time once you retired. It made Lukas very happy that your long-term goals were exactly like his, he suggested opening a school together. The way his face lit up made you ecstatic, you wanted nothing more than to do this together. •    Both of you filed your retirement, while Clive and Alm were slightly saddened with your departure they both respected both your decision. Clive went ahead and found a building that could be used for the school, both of you were grateful for the investment. You inspected the building on your last day of service, it had 2 floors, the first floor spacious enough for two classrooms. The second floor, as per Lukas’ suggestion, could be modified to be your shared living space. That word “shared” caught your attention, perhaps it would’ve been more convenient and cost-effective to co-habit than find separate housing. •    He had one more place he wanted to take you that day and to your surprise, it was the goldsmith. “Lukas…” he turned to face you “Not the most romantic and this is a round-about method.” You interrupted him “It doesn’t have to be fancy, we both made sizeable down payments for the building because we didn’t want Clive to pay for it all.” He inched closer to you and placed something in your hands, it was a ring. “That’s my family’s signet ring, that’s the only token I have proving my lineage. As you know I hold no familial connection with them since my enlistment to the Deliverance, that ring, in its current form, has no sentimental value.” You enclosed the ring tightly in your hands as he cupped your face and looked deeply into your eyes. “You’re my family now, I’d gladly melt that ring and forge a new, much more meaningful one with you.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead “I hope I’m not being too presumptuous in thinking we both want to spend the rest o our days together?” you couldn’t help yourself, you wrapped your arms around him “YES! YES! I’d be more than happy to Lukas! You know what? I have a family heirloom as well, we can melt that down too!”

Marriage

•    The ceremony was simple and private, only your closest friends were in attendance and Lukas was stern about not inviting anyone else much to Clive’s dismay. You both requested that you’d both take a new surname, both of you had cut ties with your families. •    Married life was absolute bliss, both of you were pursuing your passions together. Your students were very appreciative and felt part of your family. Later on, the school had taken in a few orphans, you and Lukas made for excellent foster parents. •    Something about Lukas changed, he seemed more alive now that he had settled down and taught full-time. There was a certain “fire” in him now, not raging but akin to a well-kept flame in a fireplace, cozy and peaceful. No one would ever describe him as “cold” anymore. He was animated when he taught, a few hand gestures here and there, moving around the classroom, and more inflections in his voice. A stark contrast to the way he was in the Deliverance, hands always folded behind him and speech almost monotonous. This was Lukas’ “water”, this was his element, this is where he meant to be. •    His eyes lit up when students would ask him questions or he’d see improvements. Your students adored the both of you to bits, some wanted to board and stay in school forever, which caused a few problems but it was just a sign of how great you two were as instructors. •    Some students even slipped and called either of you “mother” or “father”. Neither of you complained though. “Dear, I heard little Timothy call you ‘father’ in class. Did you really have to tease him so?” you poked your dear husband’s side “I can jest every now and then. It isn’t the first time he’s called me that either.” Lukas smiled as he put away some books, as you laughed “But you said ‘excellent answer my son’ I swear Timothy went beet red!” you playfully tapped a roll of parchment on Lukas’ head. He turned his attention to you and squeezed both your cheeks “I only tease those I’m very fond of. You’d know this because you receive the brunt of it.” He pressed a kiss on your lips he then smooshed your face. You swear he’s been getting pointers from or being influenced by Python. •    Now married, Lukas is more comfortable with physical touch. There was never a morning or night he didn’t greet you with a kiss. If you were in separate rooms doing your separate thing, he’d come in at least once and kiss your hair. If he’d run into you between classes, he’ll give your hand or shoulder a squeeze. These were new ways he’d show his love for you but there were the standard little affectionate notes on your desk or treats he’d find time to get you that he’d been doing before. •    While you weren’t the overly lovey-dovey kind of married couple it did not diminish the depth of your bond. Both of you felt loved and most importantly, understood. You couldn’t have asked for a better half and Lukas felt the same way about you.