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star-girl69 · 9 months ago

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Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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mangosrar · 1 year ago

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cerebral

matt sturniolo x fem reader

this isn’t proof read 😛😛

suggestive ???

i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.

it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.

lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.

"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.

"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.

"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.

"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.

"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.

"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.

"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.

"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.

"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.

before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.

he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.

"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.

"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.

"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.

"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.

"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.

the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.

make up sex is good for the soul.

pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

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madamevirgo · 8 months ago

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okay so i have an idea for a lady jessica x reader fic, where the reader is one of the fremen and supports and protects jessica, around the time when paul and jessica join the fremen. She is still pretty vulnerable and even a bit scared but only shows that side of herself with the reader.

obviously you dont have to write that :)

Mine to Give

Pairing: Lady Jessica x (f!)reader

Words: 2.9k

Warnings: none? Terrible writing, softness.

A/N: I took this and ran with it ijbol. I’m a little rusty, so I apologize, but I hope you’re happy with this. Thank you for the request!!

You looked up from the stillsuit that you’d been working on repairing for the last hour at the sound of rushed footsteps moving about.

Although it was not uncommon to hear commotion about the Sietch, these sounds were different. The footsteps were rushed and had a certain urgency to them that compelled you to follow them. As you got closer to the communal space, you heard voices laced with equal parts anger and anguish.

“What’s going on?” You asked a little boy who almost crashed into you as he was pushed back by the large crowd that had been formed.

“Stilgar is back with the others, and they’ve brought two outsiders. One of them killed Jamis” he replied hastily, before worming his way into the crowd once more - like a little desert mouse.

You frowned as you watched him go, trying to make sense of what he’d just said. Jamis was dead, killed by the strangers. Why would Stilgar - a man you knew to be wise and calculating - risk endangering the community by bringing the foreigners here? He wouldn’t. He had a motive and a reason, you would find out.

—————

“I’ve been gone for weeks, and you don’t even make an effort to greet me upon our arrival.” You turned around to see Chani leaning against the entrance to your room.

“I didn’t hear you enter the yali.” You said as you approached her with a smile and claimed her in a hug.

“What had distracted you enough for your acute senses to have been so diminished.” She asks, and you follow her as she sits at the edge of your bed.

You take a moment to collect your thoughts. “These outsiders that you and Stilgar have brought, what do you make of them?”

She looks ahead, her eyes seeming to lose focus as she thinks of an answer. “They’re the last remaining survivors of the Atreides family, our latest oppressors - slaughtered in the night by the Harkonnens. The woman is a Bene Gesserit and Stilgar believes the boy to be the Mahdi, the Lisan al Gaib. You know how I feel about these prophecies that have been written to control us.” You put a hand on her clenched fist to placate her.

“Calm yourself, my sister.” You start quietly. “I know you are suspicious by nature, but you must not let your anger cloud your vision. Trust that Stilgar knows what he is doing. Give them a chance.”

“If I am too cynical, then you are too trusting. I fear that your heart will get you in trouble.” She says with a slight smile, making you bump her shoulder with yours. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust strangers. And this prophecy - the Lisan al Gaib is supposed to be Fremen.” She said as her eyes once again regained their previous harshness.

“I’m an outsider,” You replied pensively. “Yet, Stilgar saved me from the desert and raised me like his daughter. Feeding, clothing and cuddling me. You have done much the same, claiming me as your sister and teaching me to fight like a Fedaykin amongst other things. So tell me Chani, by your logic - am I Fremen or an outsider.” You held her gaze awaiting her answer. She looked down with a frown, before answering.

“You are Fremen. You learned the way of our people.” she says with certitude.

You put a hand on her cheek “I am both. He too shall learn, much like I did. I know you and Stilgar will advise him - just like you did me.” You finished gently.

“You truly live up to your name.” She said with a smile, before getting up and extending a hand to you. “Now come, the others are waiting for us and I haven’t had a proper meal in three weeks.

———

Dinner had been a very interesting affair. You got the chance to get a better look at the duo, more the boy than his mother - as her back had been turned to you. That only served to increase your curiosity and you found yourself oddly disappointed when Stilgar came to collect her.

If you thought Chani was against them, this was nothing compared to the way Shishakli felt. The badmouthing, paired with the sight of the boy who was desperately trying to ignore the stares and the taunting comments had effectively cut your appetite and forced you to excuse yourself to go on a walk.

You’d been wandering for a while, not paying attention to where you had ventured when you bumped into someone coming from the hallway to your left. It was only your quick Fedaykin reflexes that allowed you to grab her before she could fall.

“I’m so sorry.” You said and as you settled on the face of the woman standing in front of you, you recognized her to be the woman outsider. A slight movement of her hand caused your attention to deflect to her growing belly. “Shai-Hulud strike me! Are you okay? I should have been more mindful of where I was going. Please sit for a moment.” You gently guided her to a resting corner that was often used for prayer.

“It’s okay, no harm no foul.” Replied the woman as you both sat down. “I am afraid I got lost. I tried to find my way after meeting with Stilgar, but these hallways all look similar to me.” She said quietly.

You were finally able to get a good look at her and two things stood out to you. She was insanely beautiful and the sadness that covered her features looked like it was swallowing her whole.

“I’d be more than happy to help you find your way back to your son.” You said as you stood up and she followed suit gratefully.

“Thank you, Stilgar left pretty quickly and I didn’t get the chance to ask for directions.” She explained as you began to guide her towards her intended destination.

“He means well, but he is a bit scatterbrained at times.” You responded with a smile.

“I’m beginning to see that. I would’ve asked someone, but most people here look at me a certain way.” You looked at her from the corner of your eyes and saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes.

“You have to understand, that they’ve never met anyone like you and are weary of outsiders.” You explained as neutral as possible, not letting your need to protect your people get in the way.

“I do understand,” she responded, probably sensing that she had hit a nerve. She was a Bene Gesserit after all. “It’s only normal under the circumstances, but still, it stings a bit.” She finished quietly. “You are different.” You inclined your head, signalling you were listening, but keeping your eyes forward. “I sense no distrust in you. You have only treated me with kindness so far. The only other person who has done that has been Stilgar.” She finished

“That’s one of the qualities that makes my father such a great leader. As for me, I believe that everyone should be given trust and respect until proven otherwise,” you said proudly.

“You’re Stilgar’s daughter?” She asked with veiled surprise.

“Adoptive, yes. My name is Y/n, but my people call me Amela,” you explain.

“Y/n.” She whispers as if testing the way your name rolled off her tongue (rather well). “I’m Jessica. Amela means ‘One who hopes’, does it not? That’s a beautiful name.” You got a weird feeling in your stomach at her compliment.

The rest of the way was completed in silence as you both were lost in your thoughts. Her more than you, as you couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering to her. After a few turns, you arrived at the communal area where you had been eating.

“Mother!” You looked to see the other outsider approaching you at a hurried pace. “Where have you been? I was worried sick.” He said as he finally reached the both of you.

“I got lost after meeting Stilgar. Y/n here was kind enough to guide me back.” She said gesturing to you, and the suspicious look he had been giving you wavered.

“Thank you for that. I’m Paul.” He said, extending his hand. You accepted the foreign greeting before letting go.

As you stepped away, you noticed your father in the distance and it suddenly occurred to you that you had missed him.

“I should go greet Stilgar.” You say as you step away. Before you could leave completely you spared Jessica one last glance. “Welcome to the Sietch”.

————

The next time you saw her, she was the Reverend Mother. You hadn’t been one of those who’d waited outside the cave where she met with the previous Reverend Mother, the thought of her potentially not surviving the ordeal made a cold sweat travel down your back.

You were sitting in a corner in the communal area, quietly working on a defective fremkit, when you felt a figure looming over you.

“Glad to see you survived drinking worm piss.” You said in a teasing tone.

“Barely.” She said as she took the greeting as an invitation to claim the seat next to you. “Are you some kind of engineer?” She asked as she watched you work on fixing the fremkit.

“I’m a Fedaykin by trade. Fixing things is just a pastime.” You explained.

“How come you’re not outside with the others?”

“They’re more than capable of dealing with the spice harvesters. Besides, from what I hear, your son seems to be more than enough extra help.” You closed the fremkit and handed it to her. “A gift” You explained.

“I doubt I’ll need it, but thank you,” she says thankfully.

Her response reminded you of a conversation that you had with your father. “I intended to go find you after I finished here actually. You said as you fully focused your attention on her. “I’ve been assigned as your personal guard, by Stilgar.” you watched her for any discomfort as you uttered the words.

“That is a bit useless. I’m sure you’ve heard of the weirding way. Much more effective than any fighting taught across the universe.” she said with disdain.

“I’ll try not to take offence to that. Fedaykin’s fighting skills should not be discarded,” you said slightly colder than you intended. “I don’t see how me protecting you is any different from the treatment you had as a Duke’s bound concubine. But if it’s my presence that makes you feel unsettled, I can promise to not let myself be seen.” she went to argue, but the look on your face must have dissuaded her.

“Fine, but I still think this is a waste of your time.” she relented and you let a satisfied smile appear on your face.

—-------------

For weeks, you followed the Reverend Mother around. Watching as she continued her Bene Gesserit propaganda amongst your people. You should have been angry at her brainwashing your loved ones, but you couldn’t help but focus on her more appealing qualities.

Her beauty for one. The way she walked, sometimes seductively, sometimes like a fearless woman. You also grew protective of her, admonishing anyone who dared to utter negative words about her. And when the day had been long and the weight of her responsibilities and precognition seemed to crush her, you felt the urge to take her in your arms and tell her that you would take care of it all. But you couldn’t; you could only watch and make sure she was safe physically.

You didn’t talk much, just like you had promised; and she did a good job at acting like you didn’t exist unless necessary. A hard task since you had been given a room in her yali. It had been a month since you’d been appointed as her guard when your relationship took a more personal turn.

It had been a particularly long day. News from the Fedaykins had come of another successful mission, but many had been lost. Too many. Every time we received news that Paul was still alive, she cradled her belly and let out a breath. She had spent most of the day mumbling to herself, or rather her daughter. Something she seemed to do more when she was anxious. You wish she’d talk to you instead.

You were in deep sleep when a scream had you immediately jumping to your feet and running to her room, your Crysknife drawn, ready to defend your lady. You arrived and quickly surveyed the room for any imminent danger, when you saw none - you approached the bed where the Reverend Mother was trashing about.

“Reverend Mother!” still she didn’t wake up as you avoided getting hit in the face by her wild arms. “My lady! Jessica!” finally, her eyes snapped open and she looked around in panic, before meeting your worried eyes.

Once she did, she burst into tears. “It’s too much.” you didn’t think twice before gathering her in your arms. You understood what she meant by that. You’ve seen the toll her new position had taken on her in the past month.

Your heart broke for her and you felt more useless than ever. You cursed the Bene Gesserit for making her this way, you cursed the Harkonnens for having disrupted her life, you cursed Paul - for whom she was doing all this, you cursed Stilgar for having entrusted her into this position, but above all - you cursed yourself for not being able to do something about it. As she cried, so did you. You who had been taught not to give your water away - you let your tears fall freely for Jessica, as you let yourself echo her pain and sorrow.

“I’m sorry. Shh, I’m so sorry. I’m here.” you repeated these words like a litany as you held her.

Eventually, her sobs turned to sniffles, and to hiccups before she fell asleep. You don’t know how long you stayed watching over her like a vigil. Sometimes she would whimper in her sleep and you’d pat her back softly until she was calm again. Soon, sleep also claimed you, and you fell asleep where you sat on the floor with your hand in hers, and your back against the nightstand.

When you woke in the morning, it was in a very soft bed. The pillows smelled of something fresh. You’d heard about a place in the universe that was full of greenery and water. They called it a forest. You think this is what that must have smelled like. This is the type of comfort that it must have brought. You didn’t want to move, but when you remembered the event of the night, you couldn’t get up fast enough as you ran around to find the older woman.

Your heart was beating in your chest, chastising yourself for having been sleeping so deeply.

“You’re awake,” you turned around to see her coming out of the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief.

“You weren’t there when I woke up, I thought-” You shook your head to get rid of the bad thoughts.

“I didn’t want to wake you up after last night. Besides, it wouldn’t do any good for my bodyguard to be falling asleep on her feet.” she teased slightly, you kept your face neutral, still trying to get your heart to calm down.

“I’m sorry”

“Thank you”

You both spoke at the same time and you looked at her in confusion.

“Thank you for what?”

“Why are you sorry?”

This time you allowed myself a smile to accompany hers.

“You first, my lady.” You said gracefully

“I am saying thank you for the comfort you provided last night,” she hesitated, before adding “For this past month, really.” she finished almost bashfully. A look you hadn’t seen on her face before.

“I haven’t done anything worth acknowledging. Not last night, and not these past weeks. All I’ve done is follow you around.” You shrug.

She crossed the room in three long strides before taking your hands in hers softly.

“I know it’s been hard at times to watch me work. You don’t agree with how I’ve been spreading my doctrines - but I’ve never caught any judgment, hatred or disgust from you. You’ve been more of a companion for me.” she looked to the side and frowned, before capturing your eyes once again. “The path I’m on can be lonely, I’ve been thrown into a new culture and position with no time to adapt, collect my bearings or mourn. I’m scared, terrified actually; but it’s been a little easier with you watching my back.” she finished.

“I’ll always have your back,” You mumbled earnestly

“I know.” she taps her head slightly with a finger, to show that she can see it, and you laugh. Of course, she can. “This is only the beginning of something beautiful for you and I.” the way she looks at you causes heat to rush to your cheeks and to look away from her mesmerizing eyes.

“What does that mean?” You ask with a nervous laugh.

“All in due time. But please, don’t give your water away for me again,” she says softly, her hand on your cheek as if catching the tears that had fallen last night.

A shiver runs down your back. “It’s mine to give.”

———

Part 2

A/N: Like, share and subscribe to my chanel teehee 🥰

#madamevirgowrites #dune part two #dune #lady jessica #lady jessica x reader #rebecca ferguson #rebecca ferguson x reader

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the-s1lly-corner · 2 months ago

Note

If it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately), where the reader has no self preservation? Not in a sad way, but more in a "cheerfully confident that they can handle it" kinda way.

Either way, I hope you have a good day!

Crps x overly confident!reader w/ no survival instinct

Points

JANE REQUEST SPOTTED!! Feels like hardly anyone asks for her!!

Side note I could NOT find a good gif LMAO

Characters: Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman, Jane the Killer

Notes: reader is GN, reader is not suicidal in any way they just think they're built different, reader is written as a human

CWs: injury and blood mentions, canon typical violence and death

SLENDERMAN

hes seen humans die to less, hes not going to let you follow that path... why would have to do any of this when hes right here to do the dirty work for you without complaint? he simply doesnt get it

but still, if he knows you will survive he will let you go- as foolish as he may think you are for throwing yourself into a fight or disaster- he will never fully understand humans so surely you must have a reason for this? stops this when it just leads to you getting hurt over and over, it slowly becomes clear that youre doing it because youre cocky. you truly do think you'd come out the other side unscathed

you dont even get the chance to throw yourself into a fight against a someone wielding a weapon- theyre torn down before you can get too close, leaving behind a mess of gore on the ground. your attitude may have rubbed off on him, he hardly ever displays such strength and violence- but if this is what needs to be done to show that you dont need to fight anymore then so be it

TICCI TOBY

honestly? he might just join you in whatever danger youre about to throw yourself in- he himself doesnt have much survival instinct, though a lot of that hinges off of his inability to feel pain. he minimizes the damage done to his body most of the time

and... that kind of bleeds into how he acts when youre reckless, afterall hes never had to be careful about himself- and you seem to hold the same belief to your own body... its going to take a real nasty injury to snap him out of that and make him realize that youre not invincible- even if the lesson doesnt sink in for you

you still sometimes make light hearted bets on things when stuff gets intense- "oh i bet i can take him-" "oh i can do this with one hand tied behind my back-" and so on and so fourth

youre both a little.... foolish...

EYELESS JACK

painfully aware of human anatomy and what it can and cant take- that comes from being very interested in the topic as well as being able to look inside human bodies first hand

a lot of the time you cant even take a single step towards the danger, hes already got his hand on your shoulder and tugging you into the other direction... and in the case where its dangerous but not deadly? you can feel the look hes giving you under his mask... for someone with no eyes he can give a mean glare

you give him hypotheticals for threats that you can take on and hes just "absolutely not."... he will not spare your ego, your safety is far more important to him- youre the one good thing in his life and hes not going to let you get yourself killed

JANE THE KILLER

it takes her a moment to process what youve said and by then youre already running towards the threat- and shes bolting after you to either back you up or drag you away... preferably drag you away if its something that cannot be stopped or bested

what were you thinking? are you insane? what if you were killed? shes not going to hold anything back, she wants to understand why you would do something like that- especially unprepared... do you have a death wish?

not at all happy or pleased with your little habit of just. running into things head first... she doesnt think its commendable or brave, and shes going to let you know what she thinks as shes trying to stop your wounds from bleeding all over the place

you can tell shes trying to be nice- well, niceish- but her tone does slip out as she speaks

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yooneunhay · 2 months ago

Text

Essence of the Feathered Heart

【ＣＨＡＰＴＥＲ　ＯＮＥ】

𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨; (eventually) ot8ateez x hybridbird!reader

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨; human!seonghwa (ft; human!hongjoong, foxhybrid!wooyoung) x hybridbird!reader

A/N ♥ hello reader !! this is my first time ever writing a fanfic or really a story so please dont be too harsh ^^,

-----

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐯

it was early morning, maybe about 7am, when i was walking back to my little cabin in the forest. i had only been living here for about 2 years with no one having had found out. i was an outcast to my family. my whole family was born with beautiful black shiny wings while i was born with white ones. my grandpa was the only one who accepted me but it was probably because he also was born with white wings. he use to tell me how beautiful my wings were and how i should "never change who i am for anyone".

i think it was just his old age talking and him having regrets of how he lived his life and not wanting the same for me. he passed away 2 years ago which is why i now live here at this cabin. without my grandpa to protect me from my family they kicked me out, banished me if you will. for obvious reason i never got along with the rest of my family. when i was younger i would often run away to this cabin to be away from my family. i thought no one could find this cabin since it was so far into the forest, i thought that until i heard the cracking of the leaves outside the cabin. all of my senses are immediately filled, i close my eyes and crouch down so i'm not in view of the windows, trying my hardest to hear every little sound i could.

bang!

if i didn't hear the bullet break through the window then i still would've felt it pierce through my right wing. it hurt, a lot, but it didn't falter my ablilty to fly thankfully. immediately i was up in the air trying to escape from the cabin. i still didn't know what was going on but i knew i had to get out but as i was almost out the door, the wind created by my wings as i tried to fly out the door causing dust to fly everywhere, occasionally losing balance from pain and knocking vases, side tables, and some chairs over, i noticed i started not be able to feel my right wing.

"what? what's going on? ugh it hurts so much.." i thought to myself.

my vision starts to go blurry and i can't feel my wings anymore and i'm starting to lose feeling in the rest of my body and then..black. i felt my body hit the dirt just outside the cabin. i most likely wasn't even 10 feet from the steps leading up to the porch when i hit the ground the air getting knocked out of me. i could somewhat make out the voices around me.

"2 people. men. but..i can't see them" i thought to myself.

i tried to cover my body with my wings to provide me some sort of protection from these 2 men but as hard as i tried they wouldn't move.

"hunters? no they would've killed me already." i couldn't think anything else to myself as i soon lost conscious.

-----

𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

"Seonghwaaa, do you have to gooo?" i heard my fox hybird ,Wooyoung, cry to me as i put my shoes on.

"you want that new toy don't you?" i said back to him as he continued to pout at me.

"yes but can't Hongjoong get it? i wanted to keep playing with you.."

as Wooyoung continued to pout to me about not wanting me to leave, Hongjoong came up behind him putting the top of his head.

"come on Woo, let Seonghwa have some time alone. dinner is ready, i'll put some in the microwave for when you get home Hwa." i nodded to him,

"i'll be back soon Woo don't worry, we can keep playing games once i'm back."

i stood up from putting my shoes on, petting the top of his head behind his ears where he liked it. he purred a little. i waved to Wooyoung and Hongjoong saying i'd be quick. walking to the store was quiet, the sun was starting to set but it was still pretty bright outside. i walked up to the adoption center where they also sold lots of hybrids stuff, clothes for hybrids that have tail holes, hats with ear holes, some shirts with holes for wings, toys for teething or just to play with. i walked into the adoption center going to the section with toys looking for the one my fox hybrid wanted badly enough to ask me to go out and get it right then and there. as i was browsing through the toy section i could hear the front doors to the adoption center open. i didn't bother looking over, since i assumed it was just another customer coming in, but it was the blur of white that caught my eye. i looked over and saw two men basically dragging in this bird hybrid who was thrashing around clearly trying their hardest to get out of their restraints and the hold of the two men. the wings on this bird hybrid were so beautiful, breath taking, a gorgeous white color. i noticed the hint of red on the bird hybirds restrained wings.

"blood. they must've been captured as a unregistered hybrid." i thought to myself.

i felt bad. it must hurt. i watched as the two men dragged away the pretty winged hybrid. i noticed the muzzle the men had put on the hybrid. i didn't know what it would be for considering how the hybrid seemed to not have any sharp teeth. "maybe they just bite.." i said under my breath. the hybrids head turned once i said that, our eyes meeting. they looked so lost and almost defeated when we made eye contact. that was before they continued thrasing around and then they were pulled to the adoption side, behind a wall, to the orange code part of the center i'm assuming.

"orange codes, aggressive hybrids that are put into confinement, usually strapped to a bed of some sort depending on the hybrid, until they have calm down." i thought to myself as the lady at the front desk checked out the toy i was buying.

i left the adoption center, walking home, but i couldn't get that hybrid out of my head. once i reached home i gave Wooyoung the toy he wanted and gentelly patted his head has he started to play with it.

"what's wrong?"

i looked up from my daze to see Hongjoong looking up at me from his laptop at the table.

"nothing..just thinking." i responded.

it's not like i was lying to him or anything but there was a weird gut feeling in my stomach as i spoke to him. "oh come on, don't give me that. there's clearly something bothering you." i breathed in as i gathered my thoughts to tell him.

"i saw this beautiful bird hybrid at the adoption center when i went to get Woo his toy..i just can't stop thinking about them. how much pain they must being going through right now."

Hongjoong knew where this kind of conversation would lead, i knew it too. Hongjoong sighed as he got up from the table where he was working on his laptop and sat next to me on the couch.

"is this your way of asking me if we can adopted the hybrid?"

i stayed silent. in a way, even if i didn't want to admit it, i was asking him if we could take in another hybrid. we already had three though..even though our apartment was fairly big, having four hybrids would be a lot to take care of. i knew that and yet, that one hybrid wouldn't leave my mind.

------

hii tysm for reading this far !! i know this chapter wasn't much plot but it was a lot to write so i hope you're happy with it anyway ^^ if anyone wants to be on my tagged list pls comment for it !!

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gale-dekarios · 5 months ago

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Favorite thing about Gale Dekarios?

it's embarrassing how long i spent sitting with this trying to think about my all time favourite thing about gale, because there's so much. i like that he's a dork, and sickeningly sincere, and i like that he's a cook, that he loves his not-a-cat, and that all he'd need to complete the ultimate wizard stereotype is a pointy hat and long grey beard.

but when it all boils down to it, i love that he's willing to try, after all of it. he, out of all the companions, probably fucked up the most. and i dont necessarily mean hes in the most fucked up position, i dont think you can really compare what the companions are going through as individuals like that, what i mean is that to go from the lover of mystra, an archmage, quite possibly one of the most powerful people in the sword coast if not the whole of toril, to a dude you have to pull out of a malfunctioning portal, an embarrassing footnote in a goddess's history, about to die, from the orb, or ceremorphosis, or just generally being out in the wilderness as a level one wizard likely for the first time in his life ever, well, it's a lot isn't it?

the only person who could come close to understanding that level of a drop is perhaps wyll, but then again, wyll didn't so much as fall as he took a leap that he knew would end poorly for him, not to mention that wyll was seventeen. not that he'd likely make another choice now that he's older bc he's wyll, but gale, at least from his perspective, can't hide behind the greater good, or youth, from what he did.

gale's at rock bottom, and he doesn't have karlach's cheer to make up for the fact that he's dying, tadpole or no.

there's no way i would be able to keep going after all of that. id find a large field in the middle of nowhere and wait until the end comes for me. but gale doesn't. he keeps going, even though he's pretty sure he's going to die and it's all futile anyway, he keeps going. and he makes connections, despite the fact it could all be snuffed out in an instant. he goes through what's possibly the world's most messiest break up, one that quite literally is going to kill him, and yet when he's told he can redeem himself, to make the embarrassing footnote into a noble one, all it takes is you asking him to live for him to throw all of that aside, his entire past, everything he ever worked for, for the idea of a future that might not ever come. and he doesn't even need to be in love with you for him to agree to that.

he wants to live anyway. no matter how much more difficult is. no matter how unsure he is that he's actually got anything to go back to. he has a tara, and wine, and food, and books, and quite possibly the weirdest band of people he's ever met, and he decides THAT'S enough. sure, the ideas of something greater never fully leave the edge of his psyche, but again, if you ask him to, if you show him life's worth living, he'll then give up actual godhood just so he can keep tara curled in his lap, the taste of good food and wine in his mouth, the feeling of paper under his fingertips, and a room full of love and laughter, in whatever capacity that may be.

it's hard to condense all of that into one word, into one attribute, so i guess what i'm trying to say is that my favourite thing about gale is that he's alive.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the tomes #baldurs gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #bg3 gale of waterdeep #gale bg3 #bg3 gale dekarios #baldurs gate #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate iii #bg3 meta #answered #anonymous

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seokmn · 1 month ago

Text

BIRTHDAY GIFT

pairing: classmate!jeonghan x gn!reader

wc: 0.7k words

lua’s note: happy late bday jeonghannie!! i miss you 💔💔 also please dont take yn as a stalker 😭😭 yns just a teenager in love!!!

you’ve been watching admiring jeonghan from afar for a few months. you just couldn’t help it, hes way too cute, way too handsome, way too kind, way too everything good you could possibly think of.

those thoughts made you take your silly little crush on him to another level by becoming his secret admirer, always leaving a note in his locker and placing a strawberry milk or melon bread (most of the times both) on his table. you’d always watch his reaction, from the beginning it was pure confusion, he’d always look around the class to see if he could find the person who left the food and drink there. but after a few days he got used to, his smile always shining everytime he would go to the classroom and see the same items from every day waiting for him on his table.

last time you wanted it to be different, you wanted to be more special since it was his birthday. you went to school earlier, as usual, to place his birthday gifts on his table, strawberry milk, melon bread, a stuffed bunny, a chocolate box and a letter. as you were fixing the items on the table to look cute and presentable for when he sees it you heard a chuckle followed by a familar voice, “got you”

you froze, knowing whose voice it was, jeonghan’s voice. you heard his soft footsteps getting closer to you, until you were able to feel his presence behind you, “so it was you this entire time? my secret admirer?”

you turned around to look at him, feeling extremely ashamed for getting caught. you didnt know what to do or what to say, so you just looked at him. your lack of response made him chuckle and smile at you, “i must say.. im surprised. id never thought it was you” he looked at the items on the table, “i suppose those are all for me, huh? i appreciate it, looks lovely”

with a smile still on his face, he grabbed the letter and left a soft hum, “lets see.. dear jeonghan, i know today is your birthday and, to be hone-” he stopped reading your letter out loud when he felt your hand on his wrist, “are you crazy?! why are you reading it out loud?”

“whats wrong? im just reading the letter my secret admirer gave me!” he chuckled, “plus, theres no one else here but me and you”

“cant you just read for yourself? and later, when im out of your sight? this is all too embarrassing and youre making it worse!”

he nodded while folding the letter and putting it inside his pocket, “alright, alright. your wish is my command”

you mumbled a thank you before standing there for a few seconds, the awkward silence killing you, “i should probably get going. bye and happy birthday” you said before grabbing your backpack and walking away from him.

“wait! are these the only things youre giving to me?” you bit your lip before turning around to face him, “you wanted something else?”

he took the bunny in his hands and walked closer to you, “i actually thought you would give me one more birthday gift” you raised your eyebrows, “like what?”

“y’know… like a date” he tilted his head and you could see a smirk forming on his lips, “a date?”

“yup, a date. you can give me a date as your last birthday gift or i can pay you back for all the strawberry milk, melon bread and notes youve ever given me with a date. so you basically dont have other option than go on a date with me” he smiled and placed the stuffed bunny in your hands, “here, i want it back by the end of our date…” he started walking away before continuing, “leave my things like that, ill only go to my locker and ill come back. and you better wait for me after class, cuz we have a date to go to” he turned to look and wink at you before going back to walk towards his locker.

it was his birthday, but it seemed like you were the one who got a gift. and a really good one.

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ara-the-great · 18 days ago

Text

cruelty

(not edited or proof read)

Cruelty was a part of every human being. Sylus knew this the best. Whoever met him deemed him the cruelest of all, except you. except this tiny little woman of his. he knew that you knew what he had done and will continue to do as the leader of onychhinus and yet he sensed no fear, no deeming him as cruel- except a in the instances when he stole your ice-cream or withheld from kissing you . it didnt make sense to him. the only conclusion he could draw was you were the same as him. true kindred spirits. after all he noticed that you did not even blink at him leveling out buildings with people still in it. how you barely even looked away when he shoots someone dead. how for a moment there is a gleam of insanity in those mesmerizing eyes of yours. he wanted to bring it up, he wanted to see all of you so he stared taking you to more and more meetings and deals. waiting, craving to see that gleam in you.

he had thought his cruelty would repeal you, you lived a righteous life after all. you were a upstanding citizen, you didn't even have a speeding ticket. and yet he recognized that ember of insanity and cruelty in you. how? who? why? when?

"sylus, what are you thinking about with such a face?" you asked approaching him

"what ever do you mean?" he smiled trying his best to conceal his thoughts. he was sure you tell him or even better show him someday.

"you look like you are going to kill someone. if you keep furrowing your eyebrows like that you'll get permanent wrinkles and then everyone will be more scared of you" you teased as your fingers smoothed out his so called wrinkles.

"what can i do? I am scary my love. it comes with the job" he chuckled as he took your hands to press a kiss on your palms.

"really? you scary? i don't see it. i think you are absolutely beautiful " you said kissing the top of one of his eyes as you sat in his lap.

"don't go tonight. stay. stay with me. i promise ill make it worth your time" he husked as he nuzzled into your shoulder. his muscular arms wrapping around you. you were sylus's anchor, his peace, his light.

"you know i have work tomorrow sylus. i cant stay here"

"hmm then maybe i should go to linkon with you" he mused

"you know, you can't do that. plus don't you have a dealing tomorrow?" you laughed patting is back as consolation.

"maybe i should change my occupation. to hell with all this. I'll sell fruit in linkon and go by skye and maybe then i would not have to part with you" he kissed the pulse that seemed to quickened with his words almost drunk off of your scent. "would you like that?" seeming absolutely serious.

"S-sylus you know you cant "

"would you like that though? just imagine you'll have me beside you every morning and every night." he said dragging his mouth from neck to the corner of your mouth.

"i wouldnt be so cruel to make you give up all that you have built with you own hands"

"oh sweetie, be as cruel as you like, you know i like it when you are cruel . if you asked me to build an empire from nothing, id do it for you a thousand times over. use me but just stay by me. that's all." he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. he could practically feel how pleased the thought made you. "plus cruelty suits you more than you think"

"what is that supposed to mean?" you didnt know whether to be offended or flattered

"it means i have seen the way your eyes shine with excitement whenever we are..... ruthless" he grinned finally finding the opportunity to bring it up

" What? You could tell? Im i that transparent? what can i say there is a strange beauty in it i suppose. It's also morbidly satisfying to see them beg after they insult us for no reason." you laughed. never thinking you'd be able to say it out loud.

"then why dont you accompany me to the deal tomorrow there is sure to be some action. i'll let you have your fun" he said leaning in to kiss you

"Omg would you really let me? such a generous offer who knew that mr. leader of onychinus was such a sweet lover" you teased as you kissed his cheeks in excitement unintentionally missing his kiss.

"And who knew ms. hunter was such a cruel woman?" he frowned clearly displeased by his stolen chance to kiss your lips

"shh its my secret to you" you pecked his lips with a laugh that rang trough his ears like twinkling fairy bells.

"and my sweetness is my secret to you" he said deepening your kiss.

#sylus #i wrote this at 3am #ehehehehehheehheeh #oh lord this man #love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #sylus x reader #sylus headcanons #l&ds #lads #drabbles

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seireitonin · 8 months ago

Note

heyy, i am huge fan of creepypasta (espacially Toby), so could u make headcannons about him in relationship in his 30's? Btw i love your content and follow u on tt :3

I’m so sorry I’m just now getting to this! I get distracted and I’m not on tumblr a lot! Anyway thank you for your patience and support!!

Dating Toby in his 30s

Dating Toby was hard already

With his mood swings, cocky behavior and detachment despite him loving you so much

This was BEFORE he got captured

Now that he escaped the mental institution and is more traumatized than he already was….its worse

He clings to you now more than ever, scared to lose you

Scared you don’t love him anymore, although he’ll never say it

Why?

He got captured. It’s humiliating, embarrassing to him. A hit to his ego

So he’s kinda insecure about the way you view him. He doesn’t want to look weak or helpless in front of you. He’s supposed to be protecting you

He’s also much more possessive and protective over you, so scared something is gonna take you from him

Getting him to eat food has been a challenge

Getting him to do anything but lay in bed and stare at a wall has been a challenge

You thought he was unstable before? That’s worse too

Every single noise makes him jump

He’s so paranoid never able to relax

Some nights he’ll stand in the corner talking to the wall, unblinking. It’s what he did at the mental institution

You’ll have to lead him back to bed and hold him until he eventually snaps out of it

Even then he’ll never be the person he was before he got captured

Your Toby is gone

He’s much more moody and aggressive

“What the fuck are you coddling me for? You think I’m weak?”

“No. I dont. I’m worried about you”

He wouldn’t talk to you like that before. You know he doesn’t mean it

He used to love when you cared about him, when you held him

Toby can’t stand the feeling of being at another mercy or weak. It’s how he felt when he was being abused by his dad and being at the mercy of his captors brought back that feeling

Has more tic attacks because he has fears/ thoughts and hallucinations about being back in that place. His anxiety is constantly off the charts too, he’s gone back to chewing the skin off his fingers

His tics were less frequent before he got captured but now they’re constant, his tic attacks coming in harder and more frequent than ever

His tics are just straight up begging and screaming sometimes. Those are the noises he would make in the mental institution and they’re permanently part of his tics now

He hates it. Hates that you have to hear that

But you’re understanding and support him anyway

He loves the fact that you’re so understanding. He loves you

He can’t believe he was ever apart from you

He got captured protecting you

You were both surrounded, he pretended that he kidnapped you and that you were his next victim

To be fair he did kidnap you but you were never his victim

“I’m sorry I have to do this” he said as he cupped your face in his hands and looked into your eyes

“What-“

He grabbed you, putting you in a headlock choking you tightly, hearing the police come

Toby whispered aggressively in your ear as he squeezed your throat so the police would believe that you were his victim, not his lover

“Don’t say a word and listen to me. When they ask questions, you don’t fucking know me. I kidnapped you. I was going to kill you. You were trying to escape and I found you. You don’t remember anything. Do you fucking hear me? When they let you go, you go back to our cabin and you fucking lay low. Don’t come look for me. Don’t you fucking dare”

He had never been serious with you like that before as he gave you a story to tell and instructions in your ear

It scared you. As if you just remembered that he was a murderer and could just end you if he wanted although you knew he wouldn’t hurt you

The police surrounded you both soon after and he held the blade of his hatchet to your throat as he kept you in a headlock

“Come any closer and I’ll kill this bitch!” He screamed out making you truly look like a victim

After a standoff and you safely being handed over to the police and being put in the back of an ambulance, Toby got cuffed and shoved in the back of a police car

You exchanged a final glance, as you fought back tears to not look suspicious as you watched the man you love get taken away from you to an unknown fate

Its another reason you’ll never leave his side

He sacrificed himself and what little sanity he had to keep you safe

He told you about everything they did to him there. The experiments, the abuse and him being seen as less than human, the straight jackets, the metal mussel they had on him at all times, the padded room, having to hear people talk to him about his past from his abuse to the murder of his father to working for what they thought was a fictional being called Slenderman

Everyone looked at him with fear. With his many kills under his belt and his unpredictable nature

Hearing all of it fills you with guilt

He went through all that because he loves you

So you’ll never leave him. How could you ever? After what he did for you

Toby wakes up screaming at night sometimes, thinking he’s back in the institution or having a vivid dream about it

He’ll pull on his hair and his tics become violent and he thrashes

You just rub his back “it’s okay. I’m here. You’re here. You’re safe”

He feels bad after it’s over every time but it comes out like aggression because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable

“I know. I’m not stupid.”

He’s grateful. He is. Truthfully he’s scared and anxious but he’ll never tell you.

But you already know and you still love him

He loves you too, just give him time to readjust and he’ll try his best to get better for you again but that won’t be for a long time

You miss your Toby.

Your playful,upbeat, cocky and obnoxious Toby.

He wasn’t perfect but he was yours

Now you feel guilt when you look at him

“Toby…do you hate me?”

“No”

“You’re lying to me aren’t you”

“No! Why are you saying that?!”

“Because I feel like it’s my fault you got captured! I’m the reason that you went through that!”

He looks at you, blankly “no. You’re not the reason. It probably would’ve eventually happened regardless. I just did what I had to do to protect you. That’s it. So don’t say anything stupid like that to me ever again. I didn’t go through that for nothing. I did it for you.”

You tear up and for the first time in months, you hold each other. He holds you. And you hold him and he feels good. You missed him.

He takes you in, remembering how much he loves you. Going through all that for you and being able to keep you safe was enough for him

You love each other despite these horrible circumstances and the new problems that came from this

He lets you run your hands through his hair while your in bed together like he used to before

He’s starting to hold you again

He’s still not 100% his old self and most likely never will be, but he’s trying his best

Because he needs you now more than ever

And you will always be here

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta characters #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby #ticci toby hc #ticci toby hcs #ticci toby creepypasta #creepypasta ticci toby #ticcitoby #ticci toby x reader

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kuni-is-daddy · 1 year ago

Note

I'm going to ignore all of my shame and ask for a yandere Scaramouche with a female darling

Where he uses a vibrator on her and orgasm denies her

Yandere scaramouche x female reader

Lord Sixth.

Tw: Scara is manipulative, Threats etc.

Ft:// 0rgsm denial,toyplay, Degrading, M8ing press, Scara scummy a bit

Word count: 1.5k. ScaraMasterlist

CW: Minors do not interact past the cut! This is a nsfw post!

When you first met and truly fell in love he was able to read you like a book. Knowing everything about you and even putting a ring on your finger. It was unnecessary to him though, Something redundant as marriage never mattered. Once he set his eyes on you..Once you embraced him, He already claimed you as his own. But archons- Hearing lord 11th and her majesty pestering him over it was irritating. So, he brought it up to you, his once naive and beautiful s/o. A direct confession you gladly said yes to. Even tucking away his hat to give him a kiss on his toxic lips.

He pushed you against the wall, squeezing your throat as you irked out through your pained neck. The puppet looked down towards the ground after hearing a clink. His smirk instantly turned into a bored expression as his eyebrows relaxed. He expected you to bring it, A small knife that was stolen from the kitchen. After all..The walls do have ears. Anything you've ever done suspicious would send the maids and fatui flocking to him like sheep reporting on your every move. So when you entered his room, unknowingly greeted by his half-dressed form; You froze up at the sight of his scars and markings. With you pinned, he looked down on you. E/c eyes we're filled with tears and mouth gasping for air. He didnt know whether it was from fear or out of hatred yet didnt care. He knew they'd always and only be for him. Validating him and his delirious actions. At the thought of it, He let go of your throat while you fell to your knees. Then laughed at a joke only he could understand.

If you weren't sure he lost all the trust he's given you, you definitely were now. "If your going to kill me, just make it fast...Please." you mumbled. The puppet stopped laughing after your words, raising an eyebrow. "Kill you? Why would i?" He kneeled down, an action he only gave you privilege to see. His eyes we're pure indigo yet still glowing purple through his pupils and red eyeliner, While the strings on his shorts we're barely tightened. "Is that what you truly want darling?" He picked up the small knife, Twirling the handle through his fingers. Your 'husband', Lord sixth. Never made empty promises...or threats. Intrusive thoughts began poking around in your mind; Would he really do it? Would he finally let me go? but you shook your head, choosing your words wisely. "No...It isn-" "Properly." "N-no..Kunikuzushi." He thinly smiled at your answer then tilted his head closer, Your lips almost touched But to your surprise he pulled away and instead held your chin up. "If I wasn't so in lov- interested in you, I would've inflamed you beside your village. Consider yourself lucky y/n. You have a vow..no..many to uphold to me."

He stopped kneeling; turning his back towards you and walked to the bedside counter. With his attention away from you, you stumbled up and walked towards the door thinking he let you go. "But dont think I'll let you off so easily this time." Scara's voice echo'd throughout the silence "but i-" "You heard what i said, now come here. I shouldn't have to explain myself to you further." His hand smacked on the counter, the ring on his finger made a soft clinking noise along the wood. You looked away from the door and walked towards him, It wasnt locked. Instead, It creeped open a bit as the cool palace breeze entered. You could just try run...Again, But that would just have you back at square one. Tied within his strings as if you were the puppet.

You laid on your back on the bed while his frame towered over his. The small ray of moonlight flashing through the window made the puppet ironically look like an angel. Scara's bored expression shifted a bit at your obedience, he loosened the knot in his shorts slightly. As if it was instincts, you then propped your legs up, pulling your skirt up slightly and he immediately brushed his fingertip along your thigh. A spark of electro emitted and you bit back a moan. "You really are getting out of your league, aren't you?" he sighed. "You dont deserve to be fucked yet. Not after that pathetic trick of yours..." "B-but scara you-" He ignored your plead and parted your thighs. You moaned silently as his pale fingers itched over the smooth cotton liner hiding your slit, "huh..look how wet you are, and I've barely touched you...to think Mear minutes ago you wanted me dead."

He bit his bottom lip, restraining himself from pouncing on your 'pathetic state' while your hips began bucking at his touch already. You couldn't stand it, not anymore. As many times as you've touched yourself only he was able to make you feel good, only he was able to make you reach your limit. And archons did he take advantage that. "Hah. What a joke." Scara slid his hands under the sowing and roughly pulled your lingerie off. He Tossed them onto the floor then pulled away to retrieve something out his pants pocket. "S-Scara~ what are you-" suddenly he straddled you by your hips, pulling you closer towards the edge of the bed then leaned down until he was face to face with your glistening slit. Click click "To think my wife could be so pathetic..like a filthy dog in heat." "S-scara! im not Mmn!~" He quickly put the toy inside, watching as your walls clenched around it. "Hm? Your not what?" He reached into his pocket for the remote, waiting for you to part your lips. "Im not flith- AH!" you quickly covered your mouth while your thighs twitched from the toy. "Oh really darling~? Huh...but down here says otherwise, doesn't it?" Scara moved his bangs a bit out his hair and licked along your clit "Mnh~ Scara~!" you bit into your skin, biting back moans hard enough you swore they drew blood. "So why don't you..mm~ be a good girl for me and beg?" You nodded your head, letting go of the little bit of dignity you had, in return scara merely smirked. "If only you were always this obedient, it would've saved you Alot of heartbreaks darling." Scara's tongue swirled along your bud while his other hand pressed tightly onto the remote, Making sure the buzzing sensation inside you never stopped.

Your voice began pitching higher and higher. You we're close. "S-scara! Please~! Let me cum! I-ah i cant~!" A satisfied groan left his lips while you begged. As much as he was enjoying himself, You still had a punishment afterall. Scara pulled away, Licking up Your pre juices while you whined at the Sudden slow buzzing of the toy inside of you. He was growing impatient, He needed more, He needed to hear you- "Kuni!~ no~! wait~! please~" 'kuni' At the use of his 'favorite' nickname he practically snapped, tilting his head to remember the word you said. "Again." You blinked out of your gaze. "Wha-" "Say it, Darling." He slapped your thigh and you shuddered in pleasure. "Ah! K-kuni...? Please fuc~" He moved his hands to your pussy again, slowly scissoring your insides while pulling the vibrator out. "hnh...Please fuck me kuni~i'll be a good girl~ just for you~ I promise!" 'Liar' He thought, But god was he enjoying this. Your hips jerked back along his fingers. The remote and toy we're now hanging on the side of the bed, while he freed his aching length with his other hand. He began fisting himself roughly, letting out panting breathes you haven't heard in a long time. When he wasnt going through his usual irritated 'mood swings' his soul purpose was to dominate you with his sadism.

"Move." He said sternly and you did as if it was instincts again. You moved back into the center of the bed, Head rested on a pillow while you heard the string pull on his garments. "Hmn..Dont you dare get quiet. Do you understand?" You shivered at his words and nodded. His tip pressed softly against your enterance, The puppet was already twitching from the contant. "Wrap your legs around me." You complied. and he immediately plunged himself inside you, You moaned loudly while scara hissed at your warmth. "Ah~ Ugh.~ thats it. Just like that.." He bucked his hips up and down, with every thrust his body smashed against yours. "Y-you ah~ You belong to me darling~ G-god your so tight." You gripped tight onto his back, digging your nails into his skin. "I-ah~ Kuni~!" Your tight walls began squeezing against his length, With a couple more thrusts you began shuddering for your already built up orgasm. "Hah~ You wanted this so bad didnt you? Bet you we're Mnh~ Planning for this a while weren't you?"

"So- take it y/n. Hn- Take my seed as your reward like a good girl~!" Kuni bucked his hips hard with final thrust, Coming undone inside and filling you up deeply while soon after your own fluids gushed on his lower body.

Scara sat with you inside him for a matter of minutes, Making sure he painted your walls. He kissed your cheek softy. "Tell me." You calmed down from your high, eyes still a little droopy. "Tell me you love me." He held your hand, Palming your ring finger. Your heart swelled a bit. Did you love him? If you didnt, You would've took action as you planned earlier. Yet you didnt.

"I..I do love you." Unlike your usual silence, It didnt speak for you this time. A part of you still loved him.

a/n- I felt a bit unsatisfied with my past yan scara fics, I know yall enjoyed them, Especially the Jirai kai/kei series but I wanted to try my hand at yan scara again! Regardless thank you for reading and good luck on your future pulls! Furina HERE I COME

#genshin smut #scaramouche smut #genshin x you #genshin impact #yandere scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x female reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you

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fae-morrigan · 2 months ago

Text

Someone put a post (where they admit they straight up dont know these characters lol, and also spell damian as 'damien' so like. yknow.) in the tags saying that if you're a fan of Jon & Jay, you shouldn't buy super son. Well, as the crowned CEO of Jay & Jon, I'm here to tell you guys that you absolutely should.

Super Son did the amazing thing of hitting several marks that I predicted while still managing to surprise me in how they hit them. Which is high praise for any story: A great narrative should be able to both meet reasonable audience expectations (i.e, staying in character, setup payoff) WHILE STILL throwing in curveballs that tell you something new.

There's a lot I want to analyze and get into, namely how I think the rooftop conversation between Jon & Nia is really brilliantly done in what it says about both characters, but mainly I've been thinking a lot about how great those last few pages were and how I think Sina absolutely nails how Jon & Jay's specific issues interact with each other.

Jay's always been a blunt person. From their first meeting back in SOKE 2, hes said what he thinks, and rarely does he try and soften himself. More than that, his bluntness is often a shield from vulnerability, which Jay struggles with the whole scene. It makes total sense, after what hes experienced (re-traumatization at the hands of a friend) that he's displaying that trait again.

Jon, however, is immediately vulnerable. This is the most poignant confession of the issue: Not even in the amazing sequence of Nia helping him make a place in the darkness (look, its back, thanks isabel!) do we get this admission of fear.

And Jay, like always, embraces him. Sidenote, LOVE how they got in the thing Jon does where he's constantly tucking his face in people's shoulders during hugs.

But the moment ends, and we get here. First of all, cold af. I could feel the aura before I turned the page.

Second of all: Jay is totally valid in feeling this way. And it makes perfect sense that he would.

Sara was his everything. Getting her back was one of his main motivations in SOKE. Because of Nia's actions, she died horribly (do you know what happens to a person when they fall from that sort of height? I do. Its AWFUL.) for an unjust cause. Of course he's glad she can't hurt anyone else!

And that's when we get to my FAVORITE PART! Oh how I love this bit. Because like. You understand why Jon's angry- Its a harsh thing for Jay to say! Nia was the one who kept him sane while he was trapped in his own mind! But Jay, like always, is RIGHT: Jon DOESN'T get it. How could he?

Jon Kent will NEVER, ever, be put in this position. Out of universe, his parents are Clark Kent and Lois Lane. They'll ALWAYS come back. Hell, the fact they'll always come back is something Ma LITERALLY says to Jon in SOKE. He will never, ever have to know this pain.

In universe, Jon's a white american. Despite being queer, despite being an alien, he'll never know what its like to be this kind of collateral, delegated as pawns in a greater war for 'freedom'. That is what killed Sara at the end of the day: imperialism.

This next bit hurts my heart. Great job, guys!

For one: Jon claims he's not excusing the mistakes Nia made, but by downplaying it like this... yes he is. But did you catch that part? Right at the start of that bubble?

"I'm going to fight every day to make up for my own part in this."

That's where it clicked for me. Something I had been hoping for since Nicole first called them twin flames.

He's projecting.

Of COURSE he's defending Nia. Of COURSE he wants Jay to forgive her. It isn't just about the fact that she gave him support, it isn't just the dreams, its the fact that... well. If Jay can't forgive her... how could he EVER forgive HIM?

THIS is where the fact that Jon and Nia are so similar as character SINGS. They become mirrors to each other, evaluating their own self worth through the other, at the unintentional expense of the people they've hurt.

Jay's right, though. Again. Its almost like he's the embodiment of the truth or something. He doesn't HAVE to do anything.

When he starts crying though, I immediately was RUINED. This is the first time we have EVER seen him cry before during his entire existence of a character. And its not really even because his mom is dead (though yes, that) and its not even because of the argument. Its because Jay fundamentally wants to be understood, and he's not getting that.

Which is important for the next bit:

I want to first backtrack a bit to Son of Kal El again, specifically, issue fourteen, right here.

Hello, two-panel sequence that succinctly describes these two as characters. How convenient you are for me, a guy analyzing a work that isn't written prose.

Jon isn't good at letting go, for better or for worse. The things he cares about stay with him, and when something or someone tries to exit his life, he clings to them with all his might.

Jay however, both selflessly and selfishly, is willing to let go first if he thinks its better for the other person. To me this line so effortlessly summarizes who Jay is- he's a person who's accustomed to not having things, and will leave before it hurts and he gets too attached.

And that thought is ALL over this scene. Jay, who begins to let go, Jon, who both literally and physically CLINGS to jay, practically begging him to stay.

(Sidenote. This is like, the third time Jay mentions breaking up when Jon starts acting up. Good for you king, keep that white boy on his toes, let him know he ain't all that.)

Every little detail of this four panel sequence is killing me. "My worst nightmare is not having a home with you in it." His greatest desire. The thing that kept tipping him off in every fake reality Nia constructed for him- Jay's absence. Him wiping the tear of Jay's cheek. Jay walking away from him.

But what really gets me is how on this page, Jon talks about them as 'we', while Jay is firmly stuck in 'I.'

This is what made me LOSE MY MARBLES at three in the morning. Just utterly fucking off my rocker in a straightjacket talking to myself.

Because this is what JON wants. But is it what JAY wants?

Jon never asks.

What about what Jay fears? What about the life that HE wants? What if he doesn't want San Francisco? What if the life he wants is the life he HAD before everything went wrong? Jon outright says he wants a fresh start. But Jay, Jay's someone with such deep connections to what he just lost, what he likely WANTS to get back. His country. His mother. His sense of self. But. He says yes.

(Sidenote. FIRST I LOVE YOU WOOOOOOOOOO) To quote my buddy Dami: Oh, the drama of needing a future with someone who can't get over the past.

It is left unclear, by the end, whether or not Jay is saying yes to this because he genuinely wants to, or if he's only saying yes because he doesn't want to lose Jon, too. Jon doesn't stop to question whether or not Jay's only reaching after him because Jon's walking away. We, the audience, are left to ponder that for ourselves.

How much of Jay saying yes is him just accepting that this is the best he's going to get? That he's never going to be understood because nobody wants to understand?

He's an afterthought to Nia, an obstacle at best, and to Jon he's a particularly handsome prop in this little fantasy he has of running away and starting new. He's either not thought of at all, or when he is thought about, it's in the context of how he can emotionally fulfill the other person And you get why Jon did this. He's desperate, he's hurting, he just got tangible evidence that the time he has with the people he loves isn't ever guaranteed. He's been needing space from Clark and Lois for MONTHS because god knows they haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs. In a very real sense, Jay is who he has.

But wanting someone to stay with you so much that you'll... Not even ignore, but just not ever consider what they may want. The intentional isolation, moving halfway across the country away from all support systems. The need to cling to someone.

It reminds me of... something. Someone.

Don't tell Jon I made this comparison. He'll kill himself. Jon and Ultraman ARE similar. They're both such deeply lonely people who cling very tightly and even though it manifests in different ways and even though they have different core thoughts about it. The effect at the end of the day is the same, isn't it?

Is loving Jay not a brutal act of destruction?

There's so many more details about this story I love. Jon & Nia's conversation being vague enough that you have no idea how Jon meant what he told her but you KNOW how NIA took it (girl you can do better hes literally ugly!). Jon breaking a pillar by bonking his head against it (LMFAO). The pretty lies vs ugly truth dichotomy of Jay vs Nia here.

But this one scene, man. This one fucking scene takes the cake. STELLAR work all around. Every panel counts.

This better lead into a full Superman & Gossamer run or SOMETHING or I'm going to have WORDS with DC's editorial staff.

#jay nakamura #jon kent #jonathan samuel kent #gossamer #nia nal #jayjon #dc #wednesday spoilers #jonology #GOD THAT COMIC WAS SO GOOD

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