#would be such a shaaame

[trasho-pando2011]

Me liking stuff knowing full and well ppl can just go to the "likes" tab thing on my blog and see that shit

[recareels]

maisie’s got me thinking about big brother gepard :(((

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Why do I find it so difficult to write Gerri’s internal monologue with American spelling?

I even googled, to see if she could’ve plausibly learned it that way; but no. She is clearly not *that* old.

[evil-youth-messrs]

In honor of Vengeance Saga cover reveal, welcome back to Moments in Epic That Make Me Go Insane ™️. In today's episode, we have The Thunder Saga and The Wisdom Saga. (I decided to split Act II in half, so the last part will be up after all sagas are released!)

Previous parts include: Troy, Cyclops, Ocean | Circe | Underworld. Without further ado, let's goo 👉

The Thunder Saga⚡️

~ee ee aaa ee ee aa aa pe-ne-lo-peee pe-ne-lo-pee~

oh, I would, but IIII've been suffering, trying to float the whole time-I would take the suffering from youuu

but only if you answer a question or two... of course!

okay, soo let'ssayIwasontherun or hiding from.... I dunno 🙄 POSEIDON! 😜

he will chase you high and low so find a place he'd never go, the one way you'll get home is sailing where he's scared to roam oh, it's through the lair of Scylla *DUN* (also the way this mimics the "He will burn your house and throne..." from The Horse and The Infant)

now jump in the water! Penelope whyy? you know I'm too shyyy 🥺👉👈🎀

aah, the things I'd do for you *shoots her*

*the electronic sounds at the beginning of Different Beast*

I know underwater there are packs of you hiding

you didn't notice that your friends got snatched! WHAT 😦

we are the ones who con-quer

while on the run from Poseidon we found a ship with no crew, I realized nearby there were sirens!

spare us, oooh, spare us, pleeaase 🙏

CUT OFF THEIR TAILS! we're ending this now, throw their bodies back in the water, let them drown NOOOO

KILL EM ALLL

*pum pum pum pum* The Lair of Scyllaaa 🤲

you hide a reason for shaaame~

leaving them feeling betraayyed~

Eurylochus, light up six torches 💀

ROW FOR YOUR LIVES! DROWN IN YOUR SORROW AND FEARSSSS *the entire verse that Scylla sings* DIE IN THE BLOOD WHERE YOU BATHE

*the instrumentals in this saga are all so good omg*

look me in the eyes and tell me, Captain, that you did not just sacrifice six men 😥

then you have forced my hand *epic guitar riff*

EURYLOCHUS! EURYLOCHUS! EURYLOCHUS! ODYSSEUS! ODYSSEUS! ODYSSEUS!

*the luck runs out reprise basically omg*

aaaaah aaah 👼🙏

this statue, the god of the sun~

please don't tell me you're about to do what I think you'll do 🥺

Ody

I'm just a maaan EURYLOCHUS NOOOO

you've doomed us😦

these cows were immortal, they were the sun god's friends and now that we pissed him off who do you think he'll send?!

fullspeedahead FASTER fullspeedahe-*THUNDER*

*the entire Thunder Bringer, but especially:*

*the intro electronic brass melody*

PRIDE IS A DAMSEL IN DISTRESSSSS

in the end it's all the same once I apply all the pre-ssure

THUNDERRR⚡️ BRING HERR THROUGH THE WRINGERRRR SHOW HER I'M THE JUDGEMENT CALL THE ONE ☝️ WHO MAKES HER KINGDOM FALL

✨️enlighten me✨️, king of Ithaca

and suffer a gruesome fateOF THE THUNDERR BRINGERR...

SUBLIIIME YOU FOR YOUR ACT OF CRIMEE

CHOOSE choose? 🥺

please don't make me do this - when? does a comet become a meteor? - I can take the suffering from youu

captain? I have to see her 🥺 but we'll die 🥺 I know 😔

*can you tell this is my favourite saga*

The Wisdom Saga ⏳️

it's just me, myself and I 😊 stuck in my bedroom 😖

cause I'm stuck with your storiess~

if so, then give me sirens and a cyclops! give me giants and a hydra! I know life and fate are SCAry but I wanna be LEgenDAry

the minotaaauuur even cerberus

L-L-L-L-LEGENDARY

where is he??? where is the man who'll have you to wife???? ooOoOh???

give me a chance, a single opportunity and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny and-BOY

WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT CHAMP

you'll have run of of b~o~nes to break

*tick tick* need some help? 😏

uppercut him, NOW woah HOW DID I DO THAT?? 😲😲

I just made your *thoughts* *quick* (get it)

I've seen plenty enough! to truly understand this kind of field

take advantage now and stRRRRike, little wolf, STRIKE

Athena 🥺

I've never felt strong before, you're my friend, I couldn't ask for more 🫂

I don't think he'll miiiiind

you're a good kid 🥹

keep your friends close and your enemies closer RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OURSELVES one wrong move and you're done for anything I SONG OF PAST ROMANCE I SEE THE we won't take more suffering from you DROWN IN YOUR SORROW AND FEARS (yes this was necessary)

🪘🏝🪘🏝🪘🏝

tell me though, who's Penelope? ☺️ she's my wife 💀 ..........anyways!

from here on out you're mine, all mine-HELL NAH

last I checked, godesses can't die hihihi

bow down now to the immortal ~Calypso~

my island stays unkNOwnNO I don't belong here, there's something wrong here

*the bg music especially when he sings "I won't be drawn to love in paradise"*

it will be fine dear, come back inside dear

oooooooooh oooooooh ATHENA 😭

father, god king, rarely do I ask for favors, now I'm knocking~ on your door

divine intervention, is that what you seek? 😝😤

great - very well - eh - alright - groovy - bring it

Apollo! you all know I'm a fan of catchy songs 🕺🕺

why should I give him my support? he sacrificed his own cohort (rip uncle hort 😔)

Aphrodite~ your little high and mighty~ Odysseus

really Athena? these old tricks?

Areeees, Areeeees

what kind of sick coward! holds back his power while his friends get devoured? he didn't even fight Scylla, DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO KILL HER (his theme mathing Athena's, omg it's details like this that make this musical a masterpiece)

hey baby 💃🕺🪩

he's got the mind of a genius try harder he's pretty skilled with words you can do better than that hE's kINdA fUnNy? 🥴 ehhh never once has he cheated on his wife 💀 ...release him

no one beats me, no one wins my game! THUNDERRR BRING HERR THROUGH THE WRINGERRRR

As always, thank you for reading (this was really long, give yourself a pat on the back if you made it this far!)

We'll be back one more time! 💛

[outofthiisworld]

. ✦ ݁ ˖ @pzfr and super silly shenanigans !!!

[💜] “EEE HEHEE—!!!” Oh, how Ophelia clapped and cheered!! But, just as she giggled and applauded with such excitement, she then stood to attention! Body stiff and straight, feet together and arms folded behind her back with stern, furrowed brows.

“Thank you, Shenanigan Sgt. Rex— I knew I could count on you.”

Her cheeks puffed to hold back a puttered laugh, but it failed, so the act was momentarily dropped in favor of the usual lackadaisical 'tude. A swiped invitation was whipped out from inside her coat.

“I heard from a lil’ birdy that a few bigshot supers are throwing a lil’ shindig… would be a shaaame if the party got crashed by unknown hooligans, don’t you think?”

[tinkabelle24]

To Build a Home

Chapter 11: Buddy

TW! Eating Disorder, Infertility, Sexual Harassment/Assault.

Masterlist / Chapter 10

---

When one's constantly surrounded by chaos, they'll do anything to seize even the slightest bit of control.

That was what Val convinced herself she had - control. In truth, she was just tossing more fuel into the ever-growing fire.

"Since I was fourteen, I've struggled with an eating disorder," she solemnly explained. "It got so bad my period stopped. It's come back a couple times over the years, but it's never been consistent - until a few months ago. The doctors told me that cos I haven't had it in so long, the probability of me actually getting pregnant is incredibly slim... So, obviously, safety first... But I really don't think it'll be in the cards for me, unfortunately."

"...You would want kids then, if you could?"

That question seemed to pain Raph.

"Maybe? I'm not a hundred percent sure yet... I'd like to figure my own shit out first; there's no freaking way I'm working in hospitality the rest of my life... If kids happen later, then great. If not, then that's okay too."

"You seem so chill about it."

No, she was not chill. She hated knowing she likely won't even get a choice. But what could she do about it now? Not much...

Val shrugged slightly. "I just don't wanna spend any more time worrying over things I can't control." She offered the terrapin a tender smile. "Raph, you certainly aren't holding me back. You've helped me in unimaginable ways and, for that, I'm so grateful... I'd like to see where this goes... but if you need more time-"

"-No, I don't need more time," Raph interrupted, brilliant eyes piercing hers with infinitely more conviction. "I don't want more time; I've wasted enough tryna talk myself out of it. I want this - I want you."

That last part made Val's heart soar.

The brunette chuckled softly, before lowering her gaze in preparation for what she was about to say next. Though she'd never dream of acting on it without the Turtles' go-ahead, it nevertheless weighed heavy on her heart.

Val barely slept last night. She wanted to continue enjoying the moment, listening to Raph's rhythmic breathing as he slept beside her. In her bed. But her thoughts were spiralling.

She never felt so conflicted.

For the past several months, she'd essentially been leading a double life.

She dropped the ball about him to Molly the night after he showed up, unannounced, at her window. She couldn't recall ever being looked at the way he did her that night; like she were the only woman in this world.

It pretty much cemented her feelings for him.

Val was so caught up in the moment that she forgot, for a moment, he actually wasn't supposed to exist.

She attempted placating Molly with as much 'safe' information she could, but her friend could tell there was more to the story (she had an aptitude for sniffing out bullshit). Naturally, she blabbed to her boyfriend. From then on, both have been hounding her for answers.

Val tried playing it off as a one-time thing but, the closer she and Raph became, the harder it was to keep her two worlds apart.

Last night was her breaking point.

As elated as she was to have finally taken that step with Raph, Val couldn't shake the despair she felt at never, ever being able to share this moment with her best friend...

That beautiful, talented woman who'd always there for her; her bosom buddy, her confidante, her mother figure - Molly deserved better.

She knew the terms, but she had to at least try...

"There's something I need to ask of you - well, of you and your family. Though I'm not sure whether it's my place..."

Raph was all ears. "Shoot."

---

Mikey practically leapt out of his seat when he spotted Raph entering the Lair.

"Look who just stepped in from the walk of shaaame!"

Aaand it starts.

Sigh.

Let's just get this over with...

"Mikey, c'mon!" Donnie chided from the kitchen. He already had on his headset; another day another dollar. "I've told you this a million times - don't jump off the back of the sofa! You'll ruin it."

Ya don't think it's already ruined? It's more duct tape than sofa at this point.

Mikey was too busy hanging off Raph like a bad smell. "So...?"

"You're dreamin', Mikey," the older brother replied as he retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't be like that!"

"Nope."

"Just tell me one thing, please?? Was it what you expected?"

No - better.

Raph turned to Donnie, disregarding Mikey's question. "I'm headin' back to bed."

"Val keep you awake, did she?" The purple-banded terrapin faced him, smirk lingering an uncomfortably long time as he nibbled away at his Pop-Tart.

"You're so gross," Raph deflected, gesturing to his brother's 'breakfast' with a scowl. "Eat some actual food."

"Go ahead, keep changing the subject!" Mikey called after him as he made for his bedroom. "You'll fold soon enough!"

Don't hold ya breath.

"Raph."

Raph groaned inwardly at the sound of his eldest brother's voice. He turned toward its origin, finding Leo exiting the Dojo.

"May I speak with you?"

It sounded like a request, but it never was.

"Can it wait? As you know, I've got patrol tonight; I'd like to get some z's in before headin' out."

"It'll only take a few minutes of your time."

Of course. Anythin' for you, SeNsEi.

"Fine," Raph eventually conceded, following Leo into the Dojo.

---

"I heard you spent the night at Valerie's?"

"What's it to ya?" Had Raph not already had his shell up, he may have responded with less hostility.

Anger flickered in the leader's eyes, but he responded calmly. "I was just wondering why I wasn't properly informed?"

"I told Casey."

"Yeah, you told Casey - not me. I only found out cos neither he nor Mikey would shut up about it. I don't appreciate you going around me like that. For safety's sake, please let me know first. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Raph bit out. He didn't want to drag this conversation out any further - he needed to be alone with his thoughts.

"One more thing." Retrieving his shell-cell from the pocket of his belt, Leo showed Raph a single text message sent by Val.

[Good morning :) Sorry I missed you last night; I normally don't leave somebody's place without saying goodbye :/ Thanks again for having me... I was wondering if I could request an audience with you guys? I need to ask you all something. How does Sunday night sound?]

"Do you know anything about this?"

"Yeah, I do." Raph had already granted her his blessing, but it wasn't him she was concerned about...

Leo lowered his shell-cell. "Care to elaborate?"

"Yeah, I don't think so," the red-banded terrapin replied haughtily, arms folding across his plastron. "Remember the last time ya went behind her back for information?"

"I just wanna know what I'm walking into."

"Here's a fun idea," Raph proposed, dialling the condescension to 11. "Why don't you accept her request, right? No, stop. Lemme finish... you accept her request, then wait for her to come to you. Ain't no need to be doin' anythin' else... Don't ya trust her?"

---

The smooth, soulful music usually helped elevate her mood – not tonight.

To put it mildly, Val was exhausted.

She was at hour 14 of her 18-hour workday; running on less than four hours’ sleep. The fact that she needed to pay her bills was the only thing keeping her going at this point.

Her thoughts frequently drifted to this morning. Though it felt liberating to have finally gotten everything off her chest, a good part of her was questioning whether she even had the right to make such a request.

She hoped to God this decision doesn't bite her in the ass...

The shift itself was relatively uneventful, until a particular man trudged up to the bar. He looked to be in his mid-thirties with sandy-brown hair, grey eyes and dressed business casual. He was polite enough when ordering his first gin and tonic but, judging by his restless demeanour, seemed rather agitated.

Suspecting he may just be having a rough day, Val decided to engage him in some small talk.

A stupid decision, in hindsight.

Things started taking a weird turn when he called her over for his second drink.

”Hey, what’s your name?”

”Valerie.” She saw nothing inherently wrong with this question; a lot of people asked it.

”Valerie...” But there was something off about the way her name rolled off his tongue, and the smile that accompanied it. “A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

Val stifled an eye roll at that. You’re gonna be one of those guys, aren't you?

She handed over his drink with a half-smile, before stepping away to tend to other patrons.

He persisted.

”How old are you?” The man asked, not five minutes later.

”I really don’t think that question's appropriate,” Val cautioned, eyeing him warily.

”Aw, c’mon,” he insisted. “You can’t possibly be embarrassed about your age - you barely look legal.”

If I wasn't legal, I wouldn't be working here, you dumb fu-

”Sorry,” the brunette shook her head. “I’m not telling you my age.”

“Alright,” he conceded, raising his out-turned palms. “I was just trying to make conversation, but fine.”

Yeah, whatever buddy.

'Buddy' left her alone for another fifteen minutes; though she could feel his lecherous gaze on her everywhere she went.

”I’ll have another, thanks,” he called out, shaking his raised glass at her. Val stared for a moment, incredulous.

The nerve-

Deep breaths...

She strode over to refill his glass.

”Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked, leaning against the bar with a smirk. “Is that why you’re playing so hard to get?”

Raph. His touch still lingered on her skin...

What were they now?

"Who says I need a boyfriend to rebuff your advances?”

He scoffed. “So, you don’t have one.”

"I didn’t say that.”

His smirk deepened.

Stop. You’re giving him what he wants.

She quickly finished his drink and pushed it toward him, then walked away.

The older gentleman seated a few feet away abruptly waved her over. "You alright?" He whispered, side-eyeing her problem patron. "Need me ta take care’a him?"

"No, thank you. I'm okay." It felt nice to know somebody was watching.

After what felt like an eternity, Buddy finally rose from his stool to reach into his back pocket. Val sighed inwardly, relieved to finally be rid of this creep.

He paid for his drinks. No tip, but she didn't care at this point; she just wanted him gone.

She turned back toward the bar, expecting him to have left. Nope. He was still standing there, waving a fifty-dollar bill at her. "Your tip."

Still wearing that stupid smirk, he dropped the bill at his end of the bar; likely expecting her to lean over so he could stare down her blouse.

Yeah, not gonna happen.

"Thank you," Val replied with a sickly-sweet smile, as she waited for him to walk away.

He did not.

Buddy nodded to the bill. "You don't want it?" He asked. No response. Her smile faltered when he pulled out a twenty and placed it on top, pushing the notes toward her.

"You don't have to-"

"-No, it's yours," he insisted, pushing them all the way across the bar. The situation was clear - he wasn't going to leave until she took the money.

Val stole a glance at 'Older Gentleman'; he was already halfway out of his seat.

"Go on. Take it."

Steeling herself, the brunette took a tentative step forward.

The moment her fingers touched the notes, Buddy lunged forward, snatching her wrist and yanking her toward him; more specifically, the bulge in his slacks.

Val finally snapped, using her free hand to repeatedly box his ear whilst twisting free of his grip. She then used both hands to shove him away. He must've caught himself in the stool as he stumbled backwards; Older Gentleman, who was now behind him, stepped aside to watch him fall flat on his ass.

The entire bar was staring now; she didn't give a shit.

"Get. Out." Val snarled, trembling with rage. She snatched up the bills and tossed them down at him, before jabbing a finger toward the door. "And take your shit with you! Go on, get out! NOW!"

"You bitch!" Buddy hissed as he hauled himself to his feet; Older Gentleman kept him at bay.

"Security!" The manager bellowed as she rushed over. "What happened?"

Val was too riled up to respond, so Older Gentleman answered for her.

"This asshole just assaulted that young woman," he explained, releasing her assailant into the arms of two security guards. "Somebody needs ta call police-"

"-No," the brunette interjected; she'd rather not deal with police ever again, if she could help it. "Let's just throw him outta here; he's made enough of a fool of himself."

Nodding, the manager motioned for security to escort Buddy out - without his money. She then turned back to Val. "Are you alright?"

The brunette nodded stiffly, avoiding Older Gentleman's concerned gaze.

"Why don't you go take a breather? I'll take over until you're ready to come back."

"Okay..."

"Hold on a moment." Older Gentleman knelt to retrieve the discarded $70, holding it out for Val to take.

"No, it's okay," she replied, gently pushing away his hand. "I don't want anything he's touched."

"Okay, then." He dropped the notes inside the tip jar, before retrieving his own wallet and pulling out a hundred-dollar bill. "This is his tip, plus mine."

Tears brimmed the brunette's eyes as she fervently shook her head. "No, please-"

"I insist," the lines around his baby blues creased as he smiled. "If ya was my daughter, I'd be incredibly proud’a you; ya deserve to be compensated for ya trouble. I'm gonna leave this right here..." Setting the cash on the bar in front of her, Older Gentleman then turned to her manager. "I'd like ta pay for my own drinks now, please."

"Of course. Right this way, sir. Valerie, it's okay - go take some time for yourself."

Val's teary gaze followed the two as they walked away, before turning to the cash Older Gentleman left atop the bar. It was too much - way too much. Why would he do that for her? She knew why, but why? It was unnecessary...

But Lord knows she needed it. Badly.

She glanced over at Older Gentleman; he was watching her from across the bar, nodding to the cash with the same determined smile. He wasn't going to let her walk away without it.

So, she took it... Then proceeded scrubbing her hands raw.

---

After viewing the surveillance footage, Kyle ‘Buddy’ Hill was officially barred from the establishment. To ensure staff remembered his ugly mug, it was added to the dreaded Wall of Shame.

"You won't need to worry about him coming in here again," Val's manager assured her. "If he so much as sniffs about, he'll be trespassed."

Those words did little to assuage Val. If that creep really wanted to get to her, he'd find a way; law be damned. Her stepfather was the same.

I may need to find myself another job...

It was after two by the time she finally clocked off. The brunette waited inside for her cab, as she usually did. However, this time, she was armed with more than just her pocketknife. In her other hand, her assortment of keys were wedged between each finger.

Something was coming; she could feel it.

Val contemplated calling Raph for help, but ultimately decided against it. This was not his fight.

It didn't take long for light to fill the concrete stairwell - her cab had arrived. Now, for the hard part.

Val took a long, unsteady breath.

You've got this.

"I'm leaving now, Karen!" The brunette called over her shoulder as she headed for the door.

"Alright!" Her manager called back. "Stay safe! Goodnight!"

.

.

.

Now.

Out the door.

Lock it. No, not that way - yes! That's it! Go!

Up the steps! She could see the cab now, not six feet away.

We’re gonna make it!

"Hey, bitch!"

---

Man, it felt good to finally be on a solo run!

Raph was stationed at Highland Park tonight; believe it or not, most shady dealings occur close to Mother Nature.

He was having quite the productive night. He'd already picked up several perps guilty of various crimes, from drug distribution to aggravated assault. He attempted stringing a few up like he used to, in his Nightwatcher days, but his shoulder was having none of it. The wound itself had healed, but he'll forever be dealing with the residuary nerve damage.

For every perp caught, Raph had to report back to Donnie so the latter could call it in to the authorities. The Turtles (officially) working alongside the NYPD; it was an alliance that required a little getting used to, especially for the red-banded terrapin. There were certain protocols they had to abide by regarding suspect treatment. Raph was technically breaking the law by manhandling his detainees; the way he saw it, none of them deserved the respect.

Ya fuck around - ya find out.

"Hey Don, ya copy?"

"Yeah, Raph, I copy. What have you got for me this time?"

"Two suspects in custody - armed robbery - corner of Jamaica Avenue and Chestnut Street. They're ready for pick-up."

"Will do, thank you."

"...Hey, mind if I take fifteen? I've gotta make a call."

"At 2 am? Ah. Val?"

"She's usually not out before 2:15; I'll catch her then. It's Casey. You know he doesn't sleep while I'm on patrol."

"Aww, that's a bit cute."

"I know, right? He loves me that much."

"Off you go, then; wouldn't want to keep loverboy waiting. Over."

Pocketing his radio, the red-banded terrapin glanced once more at his freshly caught perps, zip-tied to a metal downpipe, before ascending the nearest building.

"Thanks for coverin' for me, bud," he teased when Casey finally answered.

"Hey, don't come at me; Mikey stole my phone."

"Riiight."

"You snuck out, ya sly dog! Wanted to move the party somewhere else, did ya?"

Raph chuckled at that. "That was actually Val's idea." He was too chickenshit to make suggestions. Then again, he was quite happy to continue messing around in the shower.

Casey hummed. "It's always the quiet ones, mate. Always."

"...Hey, I need some perspective."

"Shoot."

"How do ya feel about... hidin' us from other people?"

"Well, we don't really have anyone to hide you from; you guys are pretty much the only family we have... Did Val say somethin'?"

"She asked if she could tell the best friend and best friend's boyfriend."

"Okay. What'd you say?"

"I'm fine with it, personally. Whatever makes her life easier. It's Leo she's worried about, cos he told her to keep us a secret.”

"Ah. Look, it'd be pretty hard on her if they're the only support she has; especially now that you guys are a thing - right?"

They talked about it briefly but hadn't yet come to a more concrete decision.

"She says she'd like to see where this goes."

"Well, there ya go - you got an in. Maybe you could talk to Leo about makin' an exception?"

"I offered, but Val wants to talk to him herself."

"Oh! Okay. She's brave."

Raph chuckled again. "I'll say."

"Raph? Raph! Come in. Over."

"Hang on a sec, Case... Don? What's goin' on? Over... Why? … WHAT?!”

---

Masterlist / Chapter 12

@android-cap-007 @happymoonangel @miss-andromeda

[indentity-cry-sis]

I just needed to empty this thought from my head

As a former Catholic into spooky shit, the show Evil seemed to be right up my alley. I binged it and hit season 3 and have just been massively disappointed. This is a little spoilery, I’m on my phone, and I’m exhausted… so if you don’t want spoilers please scroll because idk how to hide them right now :(

I loved how the show would initially flirt back-and-forth between what was real and what was imagined, in terms of the psychological aspects and the spooky bits. I felt like they could have taken it so many cool places with where to find Catholic God (or any deity really) and how each path to personal enlightenment/betterment of the self can be cool and good… but instead it seems to have landed on Woman Bad, Look At This Jezebel Whore (And Also THAT Jezebel Whore), SHAAAME. Or the weird anti-kink/fetish storyline? Or the continued weirdness surrounding Ben and his sister’s respective takes on their faith/cultural upbringing?

Idk it’s just leaving a really bad taste for me, and a lot of the storylines feel simultaneously rushed but not finished. And I’m so sick of Leland his character is overplayed by far (another steeply missed opportunity to make some cool messages about the nature of evil).

[lemonxlimee]

Please don't set Pin on fire... It would probably damage her point! It wouldn't be sharp and pointy anymore!!! Do you know how horrible that is?!?!

What a shaaame......

[vole-mon-amour]

before i venture too deep into my second playthrough. spoilers for the entire game.

on my first playthrough played as:

OC, Natha (like Nathan but Natha), druid, wooden elf (was supposed to be a high elf but i missed the customization), trans/non binary. i headcanon her as nature intended? born this way? boobs and cock? her being a druid elf (being able to shapeshift and conjure Mycoids) + Halsin in my party was an amazing combo. added her a 'tough' feat and had more hit points than Karlach and Lae'zel lol. no more need for a different tank.

my established party was: Astarion, Shadowheart, Halsin. before establishing that I had to use Astarion, Shadowheart and either Gale or Karlach.

romanced: Astarion and Halsin. ended the game with Halsin inviting my character back to the grove (relationship was very good) and Astarion saying he wouldn't want to let me go (relationship was exceptional). the graveyard scene where he says "I love you. I feel safe with you." and holds my character's hands in stuck with me. what a precious boy he is. both boys are 10/10, would and WILL romance again. both deserve literally sheets of words of love for them. Halsin is absolutely extraordinary in his own way. Astarion I fell for immediately. his romance was not straightforward, but I'm glad I understood how it works.

regarding Astarion: wanted to maybe help him ascend, but Cazador kept killing and binding Astarion. one of the hardest boss fights for me, Cazador killed my entire party and only Shadowheart kept getting up because of a ring that resurrected her. was forced to kill one of the spawns to save Astarion (the "Astarion permanently left you party" message was traumatizing enough, thanks), so there was no choice for him. I'm glad he was glad that he got to keep his soul and himself, his own personality in the end. would LOVE to find the spawns in the underdark with him and help them manage the hunger.

killed Ketheric and Orin (killing her followers was harder than killing her. the area is ridiculous, Shadowheart and Halsin got killed simply by being pushed down from the arena, had to reload). Wanted to trick Gortash into working with me and dying by himself, but stumbled upon (literally, had no idea what I was doing until i was inside the prison) the underwater prison and saved the Duke (take that, Mizora, you piece of shit). since Gortash was already mad, had to destroy his Steelwatch factory. on the first try of his boss fight he easily started destroying my party. reloaded and easily killed him with a different tactic.

was ready to kill Raphael at the beginning of the game, didn't trust him. didn't believe him when Astarion made a deal with him. was very surprised Raphael delivered on his promise. by the time I met him in the city and he offered us the hammer to save Orpheus, was ready to romance him and felt quite confident about him. well, at least not as afraid cause he could've definitely destroyed us when we first met. better the devil that you know than the devil that you don't and all of that. House of Hope was an amazing location, no regrets about not taking the deal. obviously had to kill Raphael (shaaame), his 666 hit points and the soundtrack was something else. luckily, i knew how to fight by then. his fight was easier than Cazador's 💀

saved Karlach and Nightsong. saved Orpheus. saved Omeluum (let me romance him!! he's such an interesting character)

In the middle of the game changed my opinion about the Emperor and didn't bother anymore with him. took Karlach with me and let her become a mind-flayer. killed the Emperor before destroying the brain and saving the city. used only two allies—Nightsong and someone from the guards maybe, don't remember. go my understanding, I could've taken somebody else to fight and Halsin would still aid us, but he was a part of my crew anyway, so took him with me. had to keep Astarion at the camp because a) I was afraid he'd get killed b) had to take Karlach go let her become a mind-flayer. Shadowheart's abilities are always with me. killed her entire cult when they told me to give her up in order for me to walk away alive. nope, she's staying with me. Halsin was also VERY helpful. looove their abilities and spells and Halsin's shape shifting.

never met Tara and Minthara. Jaheira died during then battle in the Moonrise Towers, therefore I never visited her house. hoping to fix that during my second playthrough.

at some point stopped trying and started ignoring Lae'zel and her quests. visited the mountain passage after Halsin joined my party as a playable character, saw Vlaakith and decided that I don't want to deal with their artefact and that cult leader. told her to do her bidding ("you're a god, you can do that yourself") she wiped out my entire party and then I decided that i won't be doing anything in there. steal your egg yourself, deal with that unstable Karen, i don't care. on my third playthrough I am killing Lae'zel just so I don't have to deal with any of that nonsense. made Lae'zel reject Vlaakith but only bc that asshole showed up in my camp. i really rather not deal with that part of the game.

i quite liked Gale at first, but then the Mystra thing came up and I got tired. i still *kinda* helped him, but the religion thing is always too much for me. so him, Lae'zel, and Shadowheart were truly something else in that sense. though Shadowheart i understand in the end. her storyline was a bit tedious because of her blind fate in Shar, but I like where she ended up. helping the city and all of that. if only there was a say to save her parents AND free her fork the curse.

finished the game with pockets full of scrolls and unnecessary items. tooons of gear and weapons. oh well.

in total, first playthrough took me about 145-150 hours from start to the credits rolling. the game is big and has a lot to offer.

probably something else, but that's what I can remember rn. there was also a glitch with Scratch and the owlbear cub wasn't at the goblin's camp, but eventually I found a way to fix it and get them both and the achievement for petting both at the same time the game was full of irritating, sometimes straight up frustrating and very annoying bugs.

[nagichi-boop]

Maaan, what a shaaame it would be for someone to fall in love with me and gently intwine their fingers with mine.

dramatically tilts head back

[juno-of-wonderland]

I have so many eyeshadows that would put the entire Pomfiore dorm to SHAAAME

(Cheap knock offs that is-)

Vil beating my ass for wearing cheap stuff-

Yes, he would do that

[gingeredmink]

y'know, feel like Soutarou would unironically vibe with Bullet For My Valentine [plus the thought of him screaming something like, "WOULD SHE HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEE, IF SHE KNEW MY SHAAAME" is really funny heh]

[fyi love BFMV but damn if they aren't the embodiment of early 2010s emo teenager at times]

[merklins]

I lied to you. Dr. Hypnos would not have a toucan fursona. We have a whole roster of HLVRV-characters-as-furries. He's a firefly squid (as is Doc). Toucan Hypnos appeared in a dream where I, the despicable yet handsome Capital M, took over The Last Resort by force. I turned him into a toucan and kept him as a familiar. Sorry for lying. - M

Lying? On the INTERNET? FOR SHAAAME... ALTHOUGH...Staring at you with big wide eyes. a WHOLE roster of HLVRV-characters-as-furries did you say? Share? Share the animal assignments? SOOO intrigued to hear your whats and whys on the matter!

[goldenguillotines]

Heeeey nakaou! Nice gender ya got there! Would be a real shaaame if someone-

"Pff- Plenty of that ta' go around."

"Ya can have soMe of it. Don't gotta run off pipsqueak."

[aceleeticklish]

I mean perhaps you'd be able to say 'tickle' if you were being attacked by raspberries all over your neck, tummy and bellybutton while my fingers attack your sides. Hmm I dunno though we'll have to see 😈

dgujcgghjtthrgg Kai brain has stopped working. I… well, I…. 👉🏼👈🏼🥺 think I would be laughing too much for me to say anything…. Oh nooooo, what a shaaame 😈

[mariposakitten]

"Please don't."

The words were familiar. Everyone says them. Screams them. Weeps them.

They're rarely accompanied by an annoyed sigh.

"That couch was an absolute steal. 90 dollars for a couch and loveseat, just because he wanted to get them out of his house? No damage, no bedbugs, pillows included? You know I can't replace it."

I paused; I couldn't help it.

"Sssorrry," I rasped, in a voice both naturally unpleasant and scratchy from underuse, "arre you complllaining about me dissemboweling you because I mmmight dammmage your couuuch?"

"Maybe?" She grimaced. She looked exhausted. "I mean, look at it logically. You attack me. We fight, obviously." She looks annoyed at the prospect, as if it were simply one more chore to complete. Dishes. Laundry. Fight for your life. "Probably you win, in which case, okay. Problem solved." She sighs. "But on the off-chance that I win, I really don't want to have to replace this couch? It's summer, so I won't even get paid again until school starts. Maybe we could do this outside?"

In all my centuries, I've never had this particular request. I looked at the human again. Grimy. Small. Her limbs shook, ever so slightly, from exhaustion. I glanced around the house. All the boxes. All the furniture. No other humans in sight.

"Tttthhhere is nnno one else?" I hissed after a moment. "To prrrotect you? To..." I hesitated. "Hellllp you?"

She made a noise, soft and resigned. "There was supposed to be. Long story. No."

I felt myself frown. "Nnnnnno one... warrrned you?"

She snorted. "What, that there was a monster in the house? No. Although it would explain why the rent is so cheap."

The frown went on too long; I knew it, when I heard her sigh. "Look, can we - it's not that I want to die, don't get me wrong, but can we get this over with? I've still got half a truck to unload and the internet guy is gonna be here in half an hour, and if I'm gonna die I'd rather do it before all of that, you know?"

I cocked my head. "Annnnd messssss up the coucchhh?"

She blinked. "Uh. Was... was that... a joke?"

I smiled. Remembered my teeth, and stopped. Remembered who I was talking to, and smiled again. "Itttttt... would beee a shaaame."

She made a noise. The smile afterwards hinted that it might have been a happy noise. "If we're not gonna fight, you any good at carrying boxes?"

I extended a limb to show the muscle on it. "Stronnnng."

Her grin widened. "Well. Good." Leading me out to the moving van, she added, "I did want a roommate, after all."

A monster is used to people running, screaming, frozen in fear begging etc. But someone sighing cracking their neck, rolling up their sleeves, and walking towards them is new.