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armpirate · 5 months

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Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 13

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 15 minutes

The space in that big elevator seemed to decrease with every minute he spent there, and Y/n turning to him every few seconds wasn't of help at all. It just made him wish he had somewhere else to look so it wasn't so evident that his eyes wanted to be on her.

When Y/n first suggested going to her place the next day, he didn't think he was going to put himself in such a delicate situation where he'd have to fight his own instincts of looking even more nervous.

As she drove through Downtown Boston, San could only guess which one of all the high-rise buildings was the one she lived in. It only made sense for him to be that way. She was a woman that could afford spending four hundred dollars in just an outfit, and the same one who was driving the newest Audi model in the market. But, for some reason, he was still surprised when she opened the big door to her apartment and he was able to see her wide living room, only being topped by the views of Boston she had through her big glassware.

It didn't matter what he imagined as he got there, reality topped it.

—You live here? —when he turned to her, his eyes were wide open— By yourself?

—Umm yeah, for now, yeah. I'm living here by myself —she giggled, walking down the two steps that led to the open living room, leaving her jacket over the backrest of the white leather couch.

—I bet I wouldn't even hear Mingi and Wooyoung arguing if they were on the other side of the room —he mentioned excitedly.

—And you'd end up missing them if you went just a day without hearing them —she answered back, turning to him.

As he followed her steps, walking in her direction, he was aware of the crystal stairs that went up from the side of the living room, finally aware that there was more than what he was seeing.

—There's another floor?

—Do you want to see?

San wasn't aware of how quickly he nodded, until she saw her giggling cutely at his response, correcting himself and gasping to give an answer with a thick voice. What would Y/n think of him if he acted like a little kid over something so simple?

—There isn't much to see —she mentioned, walking upstairs—. It's just a small office that isn't really an office —she pointed to the desk, topped by two shelves filled with books—, my room and the bathroom.

She said it as if they were the most random places, but San was already calculating the upper floor was almost as big as the place he shared with his two friends.

—It really isn't that big of a deal.

Her words didn't go along with what he was seeing. The area upstairs looked even better than the one downstairs. And by the way she had a few more things over the bed and the small desk a few meters from the stairs, he could tell that she spent most of her time up there.

—Ah, that —she chuckled when his eyes fell on the few clothes thrown all over her bed—. I tend to take a long while to choose what to wear.

And that day was particularly difficult, for some reason.

She struggled knowing what to wear to the office, but it was always more towards the idea of looking professional -or more like a boss people in her office would respect. But that day she spent almost one hour putting and taking off clothes, just to end up wearing a pair of simple tight jeans and a salmon blouse.

—Oh, I take a long time to dress, too —he lied.

And that was how she ended up wearing the same pair of jeans he always wore, with one of his sweaters, which sewings were already giving up.

He sighed, looking up at her after scanning himself.

—I can tell —she nodded, moving her fingers on his forearm over the wasted fabric of his blue sweater—. Blue fits you well —she commented in a casual tone.

His whole body reacted to one touch; anyone else wouldn't have been able to feel through his clothes, but they all suddenly turned as thin as gauze as soon as she touched him.

—Are you okay? —she asked first, aware of how that slight tan was slowly leaving his face.

—Huh? Hmm, yeah —he nodded.

He felt disappointed when her fingers left his body, but he also felt relieved when she stepped back and gave him some space.

—I'm okay, why would I be feeling bad? —he started speaking a bit faster— You're being nice, there's no reason why I would complain.

—San —she stopped him before he ended up in a cycle that'd take him a while to get out from—, breathe. It was just a yes or no question.

He was being ridiculous, yet she was being so calm and smiley that he wondered if she was doing it not to make him feel even worse by the way he was behaving.

—Right —he nodded.

—I thought I told you to treat me like a friend —her words were scolding him, but her tone sounded funny.

As she shook her head, she kicked her heels away, throwing them somewhere next to her bed, but being too eager to have her attention back on him to care about where they fell.

The few seconds she stepped away from him, and moved her eyes away, it was the time he was able to look around her penthouse, although his attention slowly shifted to how the sunset was making the windows of the skyscraper in front of hers turn completely orange.

—It's beautiful, isn't it? —she mentioned, walking over to him— I really like this time of the day.

—You like sunsets? —his eyes followed her as she approached the railing.

She smiled to herself as she nodded.

—More than sunrises?

—I don't really get to enjoy sunrises. On weekdays, I'm already in my car on my way to work when it happens, and on my weekends I sleep through it. I guess that could be why.

Her smile, despite looking the same at first glance, looked different at the same time. But he kept himself from asking, he had no right to make her feel uncomfortable with any question related to that.

—I really like your house.

He could notice the way her mood changed at the slight change of topic, moving his head to look around as soon as he realized she was going to turn to him.

—Do you want something to eat or drink?

—It's not necessary —San shook his head.

—Don't be dumb —she answered after sighing—. What do you want?

—You don't have to —San insisted.

—You should learn to stop saying "no", and just let things happen —she scolded him with a disappointed tone—. Let's go.

Her fingers hooked around his wrist, pulling from his body downstairs again, while he just walked wherever she wanted him to be at.

The kitchen was a mix of metallic and black colors, it was wide and clean. He'd almost think she had never cooked there. By the way it all was shiny, he bet he could almost see his reflex on the marble of the counter.

—Wooyoung would love this —he assured,

—Does he like cooking?

—He pretends he doesn't —San muttered—. But he always ends up making dinner, and always keeps Mingi and me from stepping inside his kitchen. Well, he's started letting Mingi help him sometimes, I'm still banned.

—What did you do to be banned? It's not like you set the kitchen on fire —she chuckled, until she became aware of his tell-tale expression—. You did?

—No —he quickly shook his head—. Because Wooyoung came before it could happen —he continued—. How would I guess that chicken would be covered in flames because I poured beer on it.

—How... Did you use a lighter for it? —her eyebrows raised in amusement, holding back her laughter.

—They're always messing with me, saying I don't know how to cook, so I looked for the most amazing recipe on Youtube. I still don't understand —he clicked his tongue—, it didn't happen to the cooker.

—Maybe because he's a professional who has prepared that same recipe millions of times —she giggled while approaching him.

His heart skipped a beat when her fingers squeezed his chin cutely. Such a casual touch that it made him wonder if she was that touchy-feely with everyone, and if he was overreacting by wanting to feel her fingers on him again. Unlike him, she just walked past him to reach the double door fridge.

—What do you want? —she asked first, looking at him for the first time.

And San could only pray she wasn't aware of the way his cheeks were burning, as he tried to get his body to behave normally back again.

—Oh.

His attention shifted from himself to the fridge. She was looking at the cans of coke and the bottle of water on one of the shelves, while the rest were filled with vegetables and four boxes that didn't look like any type of food, but that he didn't care about much because his eyes were in a hurry to meet Y/n's again.

—Sorry... I don’t tend to have people over.

—It's alright. I could have just a coke —he tried to calm her down—. I'm not really hungry.

After she insisted on meeting up a bit later than the other time so he'd have time to have lunch, he managed to eat something through his nervousness.

—Are you sure? I could order something.

—What? No —he shook his head—. Besides, I already ate back at home.

Why did her eyes look so big when he looked down at her? And why did he step so close to her? Y/n could even smell the wooden scent of his cologne by just breathing in some air.

—I'll have a coke, then.

San moved first, reaching the can to take it out and practically escape from that slim and small place that her kitchen had become. And there he was on the couch, regretting almost immediately. Anyone else would've taken the chance to kiss her, to go forward. But he was an expert on missing chances, and that night with Y/n wasn't going to be an exemption.

His eyes followed her when she joined him in the living room, sitting a few centimeters away from him, sure that she was giving him the space she thought he needed.

—Why did you call me?

—Hmm?

He opened his can so effortlessly with just one hand that she was left thoughtless for a few seconds, only being able to think of how those hands would feel around any part of her body.

—Why did you want us to meet?

—The barbeque —she quickly answered, trying to draw herself back to reality.

But was it something she couldn't discuss by chat?

—Yesterday we didn't get caught because we were lucky, but I think we need to prepare better for the weekend. I know an asshole will try to annoy you with his questions, and I think it'd be important if neither of us doubt while answering.

—So...

—So we need to be on the same page. If at some point you're alone with my father, you should be able to give the same answer I give —she started to explain.

—Will I be alone with your father? —he panicked just with the thought.

—I'll try not to, but it could happen —she sighed—. We need to settle and memorize who you are exactly.

—Shall we make up a whole new person?

—You think so? —her head tilted to the side—. I think it's okay for you to be just you, with slight changes —she started to explain.

They both worked on those new details from his life, although San spent most of the time hearing Y/n and her guidance, as he tried to memorize each one of those details so he wouldn't mess up when he was asked about it. It was basically learning things about a whole new person, even if he was planning to keep most of the basic things as true as possible. He didn't mind, it wasn't like he was going to do it more than just that weekend. And he was willing to adapt to the type of lie she wanted him to be.

—So, San —she called him with a sudden snob and thick voice—, I hear you're an engineer and you're back at studying, I guess you needed to to thicken your resume.

—I actually worked in Inno Corp, sir —San tried to repeat what he memorized, sitting straight as he spoke—. But I realized I wanted something better, so I started studying for a Master's Program.

—Inno Corp... I never heard of it.

Y/n stopped, feeling her throat dry after forcing that heavy tone in her voice. She gulped on her coke as she kept looking at San, analyzing his body language as he answered.

—It's a small company in Vancouver. They work with several confidential tasks, so that's why you probably haven't heard of it.

—I bet that asshole won't be able to answer back to that —her legs shook excitedly against the floor.

Which was something she hoped for, because that company didn’t even really exist in the first place.

—Shouldn't we also talk about my family? Or the uni I went to?

—Why? I just want them to see you're a hard worker, able to do things by himself —she pointed out—. I don't want you to lie to that extent, it's unnecessary.

—What if they ask how I'm affording to live now without working?

—Do you think they'll ask that to an engineer who has been working for a year in a technological company in Canada? —her eyebrow raised— Most of those dudes won't go further than asking about our relationship, which started...

—With a blind date through a mutual friend. And it was instant love.

—They’ll probably be so threatened by you, that they won't make you speak about your work more than basic things they can understand, so they can avoid looking as dumb as they are —she sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

—But we could lie about my background, I don't mind.

—But I do —she interrupted—. I don't want to give the image that I can do things only because of the man that's standing next to me. If you come from a rich family , they'll find a way to turn it into something negative. So I would rather that you keep as true to yourself as possible, so at least we don't lose that.

San looked at her with a serious expression, seeing that sad smile back on her face. He wanted to ask her so many things.

—Can I ask you something? —she asked first.

—Related to the fake relationship?

—No, it's about you —she answered, receiving a sign from his hand to go on—. You have never kissed anyone for real?

—Why were you looking so serious while asking that question? —his tongue clicked in annoyance.

—Just answer.

—No, I've never given a kiss —he confessed.

—So, you've never...

—What? —San looked at her, trying to guess what she meant.

—... had sex?

He could feel himself getting smaller as he sank on the pillow of the couch, while his cheeks lightened up like Christmas lights. With a tiny move of his head, he shook it, answering her question without saying a word.

—So, your videos…?

—All imagination —he answered, still not looking at her—. And I think you already know where I get all that inspiration from, so it's not necessary to get into details.

Although she wasn't surprised about that, she was surprised at how he was able to make it feel so vivid and real that it would look like he's rolled on too many beds. But at the same time, she was able to tell there were some details that did betray him when she watched his videos, or when she spoke on the phone with him.

There was some nervousness and hesitation she wasn't able to decipher, but now she knew where it all came from.

—Why aren't you laughing?

—Why should I? —Y/n frowned at his question.

—I mean, isn't it weird?

—Not really —she shook her head, puckering her lips—. You're twenty six, you haven't kissed anyone, so what? A kiss is way more intimate than what people make it seem to be —when her eyes fell on his, he knew he wouldn't be able to escape them unless she moved them away first—. You know how that person tastes, how warm their body feels —as she said that, she slowly approached him building up that intimacy she was talking about—, and how their heart beats against your fingertips when you move your fingers over their neck —her tone went lower—. It isn't a crime you're being careful of who you share those moments with —she whispered—, and nobody should laugh at you for that.

When she moved her head back a bit, clearing up the air again, she could see San with his eyes shut close and his lips almost parted in the direction she was in. She tried to hold back that cute smile that formed on her lips, although it wasn't of help when she still showed a glimpse of it as she bit her lower lip.

—Don't you agree?

As soon as San opened his eyes, Y/n felt she was trapped in her own trap, feeling her heart beating a fit faster when she noticed the tip of his tongue licking his lips.

Was it safe to kiss him?

Was it safe to kiss her?

The sound of his phone interrupted the bundle of confusion and thoughts that were floating over their heads, making the heavy air around them disappear with the predetermined music of his iPhone.

Y/n had insisted on taking him more. Because it was late, because his house was far, and because she had a car that saved him from taking the bus or walking. He tried to keep her from leaving her house at that time, he didn't mind getting home so late -it wasn't the first time either-, but there was no one who could win an argument against her.

—Thanks for the ride —he thanked her—, and sorry for making you leave your place this late.

—It's not even that late —she tried to calm him down—. I also like driving, so it's not a big deal.

—Still, thank you.

They were alone in the dark, only lighted by the small lights of the different buttons in the car. It was intimate, it was close... Was it a good moment to kiss her? Should he kiss her?

—Oh, the lovebirds —Mingi interrupted.

San's jaw clenched at the voice of his friend. First, it was Wooyoung, and now it was Mingi. Both of them choosing the best time to interrupt something that could be a good moment.

—How are you, Y/n? —he leaned on San's window to be able to look at her.

—I'm okay, what about you?

—I'm good —he nodded—. Are you staying for dinner?

—I have things to do, but thank you.

—Yeah, she was just dropping me off —San commented.

—Did I interrupt something?

—Don't you think you were too slow to notice that? —San finally turned to him.

—It was nice to see you —he referred to Y/n—. Sorry, bro.

As Mingi walked away from the car, San tried to draw her focus back on him again.

—Can you send me a message when you get home? I mean, just if you want.

—I will —she tried to calm him down, knowing he'd enter that spiral if she didn't.

Before he could move away, her hands hooked around his neck and her head leaned to his, having her lips colliding against the curve of his lower lip, again making it seem as if she was kissing him.

And while he knew she was doing it because Mingi was possibly still outside, and she wasn't even kissing him on the lips, San felt his stomach turning upside down and his legs becoming weak as jelly.

—Have a good night —she whispered.

—You, too.

He was looking good, he managed to keep a cool position, until the moment of stepping out of the car came. He was so focused on looking at her, that he missed one step and ended up tripping on the pavement, almost falling in front of her car.

Y/n giggled at his clumsiness, and how he tried to play it cool even if he was still well aware she saw the panic on his face as he lost control of his body for a quick moment.

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kwwallen · 5 months

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your hobby x xdinary heroes

gn!reader x xdh(ot6!)

gerne: fluff (sfw), something like a drabble (has a plot with each member).

warning: relationship not specified (you can be friends or dating)

words: ~ 900

from the author: еnglish is not my native language, enjoy reading! (*´︶`*)ฅ♡

Gonil

"do you really like it that much?" - Gunil asks, watching you mix paints to get the desired color. "Yes...” you answered quietly, concentrating on your work. Some paint stains stained your cheek and the apron in which you worked. You were completely absorbed in your task, not paying attention to anything else. The guy, of course, wanted you to be with him now, and not somewhere in the world of brushes and flowers. But he waited patiently because he knew you liked it. At some point, Gunil himself disconnected from reality, watching your hands. He almost fell asleep, watching the careful movements of his partner. he certainly supports all your hobbies, but he is not as plodding as you

Jungsu

Your love for poetry came to you at school. Initially, you simply read and admired the works of writers, felt everything that was happening in a seemingly unremarkable text. After that, you got the desire to write poetry yourself. Thousands of rhymes and ideas flew through your head, putting everything on paper. Some classmates thought that you were strange, but the rest did not pay attention to such an inspired person. You could admire anything, looking for beauty everywhere. You and Jungsu were somewhat similar. The guy is a musician, he devotes a lot of time to lyrics to songs. You often look at this cutie and feelings fill your heart. You can watch him forever playing the keyboard and how he tries to do everything better than before. Many poems were dedicated to him. You also help him with songs, offering something of your own, and Jungsu reads with fascination every time.

Gaon

The room was filled with a variety of photographs. There was a camera on the stand, with which you took pictures, which could once have seemed only a dream, not a hobby. It seemed that now you could capture your whole life and hang photographs on the walls. Most likely, this outcome would have happened anyway, since you really wanted to take photographs, but this moment became real right now, thanks to Jisuk. He supported you all the time, told you that everything would be as you wanted, and also helped you save up for the necessary equipment. You are incredibly happy about your dream come true, and you constantly thank the Gaon, to which he is embarrassed.

O.de

In your opinion, autumn is a wonderful time of year. Pleasant colors of the leaves are presented to the eye. Many of them are now falling, creating a beautiful fall of leaves, and later rustling underfoot. You really love to observe this time, and even more to preserve the memory of it. So now you and Audie went for a walk in the autumn park. You were looking for leaves, such as you had never had before. And it wasn’t difficult for the guy to go with you, considering that you haven’t been able to see each other lately. Seungmin really enjoyed walking with you through the streets of the city, not thinking about anything else. Even if you don’t pay much attention to him now, he really likes to watch, because at such moments you are very focused, calm and sweet. Your image of a simple girl in a coat who likes to look at leaves and look for ones suitable for herbarium greatly inspires a guy. And the way your eyes sparkle when you finally find something for your collection cannot be described in words.

Junhan

For many days now you have been hunched over, sitting and knitting. You really want to give Hyeongjun a gift. Knowing this quiet guy's passion for cool clothes, the idea immediately came to knit him a sweater. Inspired and in the mood for your favorite pastime, you took with you knitting needles, the necessary yarn, delicious tea (or any of your favorite drinks) and sat down in a chair. By God, if someone saw you now, they would immediately say that you are very similar to your grandmother, although in part this was true. It’s already about ten o’clock in the evening, you’re so carried away by the process, thinking about whether the guy will like this thing. Still, drowsiness took over, so I had to put off knitting and go to bed. The following days all you did was knit and by the end of the week the sweater was ready. Han's reaction was terribly cute. At first, surprise appeared on the face, which gave way to admiration. He can indeed be very emotional. The guy was very pleased with the gift. He wore this thing often, and every time he felt delight and warmth.

Jooyeon

You sit on the bed and cross-stitch a beautiful design on the canvas. Your grandmother taught you this craft, after which you became interested in creating pictures using threads and hanging them on the walls in a beautiful hoop. It looks cute and feels cozy. Jooyeon thought it was a boring task, and it took a lot of time. Embroidery takes all your attention, but the guy wanted it to be the other way around, so he is trying with all his might to distract you. With grief in half, he achieved his goal, and you, rolling your eyes, call Juyeon into your arms. “You’re like a child,” you say with feigned irritation in your voice. "And what? What should I do if you spend all your time on this?" with a sad smile, Jooyeon pointed to the put-down embroidery hoop, " By the way, you also look like a child when you sulk". “Eh, okay,” after these words you hugged each other even tighter and fell asleep.

©kwwallen//copying and translation is prohibited

#xdh x reader #xdinary heroes #xdh imagines #xdh fluff #xdinary heroes x reader #gunil x reader #jungsu x reader #gaon x reader #o.de x reader #junhan x reader #jooyeon x reader

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wannabe-fic-writer · 3 years

Text

Moment In Time

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Just when you've gotten out, you’re given a reason to come back.

Warnings: Might be some mild language.

Chapter 2

* * * * * * *

“Oh no one is judging you ya big doofus.” You trail a finger along the shiny metal surface, looking at your tinted and distorted reflection.“ Just think it’s a little unnecessary.” Looking up at Tony, you smile.

His brown eyes roll, a hand grabbing onto the roof of the sports car to assist in pulling himself out.“ There’s nothing unnecessary about having options.”

A snort of a laugh falls from your lips as you walk to the next car.“ Yeah sure. If that’s what you want to call this.”

“Half of these aren’t even mine.” He defends himself, hanging the keys up along with the other sets.

Pursing your lips you point to the car you’re in front of,“ who does this belong to then?”

“Natasha.” He answers, taking far too much delight in the way your challengingly cocky attitude drops.

So you decided to hang out for a while, see a couple floors and let Tony explain some things to you as he liked to do, then head home. But you’d found a reason to stick around. Or, better put, Tony found reasons for you to stick around.

You’d go to a floor, take in the sights, the tech, and listen to the man ramble on about the functionality of the floor. Around floor five you were ready to head out but Tony claimed you couldn’t see the medical floor and not go to the labs. And you couldn’t see the labs without seeing his workshop.

This reasoning went on and on until you found yourself in the garage. The sun had set a few hours ago, lights automatically flicked on inside the tower and the seemingly day to day sounds of the tower went away.

It’s quiet now, save for you and Tony talking and him occasionally starting up the cars.

You can’t lie and say you don’t enjoy hanging out with Tony. You’d always enjoyed your time with him, his actions and ideas unpredictable and so genius from the moment he learned to talk. But you also can’t lie and say you weren’t getting tired. A low, dull, rumbling started in your stomach not too long ago from the lack of food since this morning.

Making a bit of a show of looking at the last car, a sleep silver Audi that you know belongs to Tony, you check out the interior and make comments on the exterior. Then over exaggeratedly, you yawn and stretch your arms out.

“Alright T. It’s gettin late. Think it’s about time I head home.” You tell him, walking over and gently dropping your hand onto his shoulder.

He chuckles softly,“ Y/n, what kind of friend would I be if I let you go all the way back to Brooklyn while you’re tired and clearly hungry?” He pats your hand on his shoulder,“ you know Maria didn’t raise me that way.”

It takes every ounce of willpower to not toss him somewhere so you could leave. But you know it’s been some time since you and Tony actually hung out and while he definitely has some ulterior motive to this, his persistence gave it away, you oblige him. Your reasoning is that you know the food will be good.

What you aren’t expecting, however, is to find the entirety of the Avengers sitting around the living room on the main floor. Unlike the other floors that were quiet, a low chatter fills the space and a clanking of cutlery to ceramic plates.

With Tony’s arm around your shoulders, you’re guided to the tables lined with food that looks delicious. Tony obviously has some private chefs around here.

“Um, am I crashing some type of party or bonding time?” You ask him as he starts to pile food onto his plate.

“No,” he smacks his lips and waves you off,“ not really. We just eat together. Cap says it strengthens the team and all and I pay for the food so everyone comes. I’m sure they’ll be glad to have you.” With an almost devilish smile, he puts a bread roll on his plate and turns away.

Your narrowed eyes follow his retreating form. Sighing and shaking your head, you grab a plate, put a little of everything on it, then head over to the unoccupied bar.

Before you sit down to eat, you grab one of Tony’s expensive bottles of liquor off the top shelf. Pouring yourself a glass, you walk around the bar, catching the eyes of a couple members of the team before you sit down.

As you eat and drink, the laughter and banter of the team behind you erasing the silence of the room, you can’t help but remember the numerous times you’d had the privilege of being around your friends like that.

* * * * Flashback * * * *

With a friendly smile you push your chair out and stand up, walking over to the kitchen doorway. Reaching forward you grab the glass dish from the woman’s hands.

“Careful it’s-”

You nod and smile,“ I know. I’m fine.”

Marie’s eyes squint at you and she nods in understanding as she remembers. Patting your arm she turns back to the kitchen right before Jarvis comes out and follows you to the table.

Whispering a quiet ‘excuse me’ to Ana, you reach around her to place the dish on the table, then refind your seat across from her. The second your butt touches the seat two sets of eyes are on you.

“Y/n please tell this buffoon how ludicrous his invention sounds.” The angelically accented voice of your close friends says. You swear you can feel her gaze burning into your temple.

You look over at her, opening your mouth to speak when Howard cuts in.

“No Y/nn, tell Margaret that this is genius. It’s revolutionary!” He exclaims and your eyes widen a little.

Face morphing into an expression of offense, Peggy turns to look at Howard and they start bickering again.

Smiling amusedly, you lean back into the chair, making eye contact with Jarvis’ wife An from across the table.

Both of you shake your heads, An chuckling softly just before Jarvis comes to sit beside her.

“Howard,” the man looks up at the stern but sweet tone of his wife.“ That’s enough honey.” She gives a smile that matches the sweetness of her tone.

The Brit beside you snickers and you lightly smack the side of her leg with the bag of your hand, muttering a quiet,“ relax.” Which results in her huffing and crossing her arms, sending a glare at Howard that she fixes just as Marie sits down across from her.

Despite having been bickering since long before now, the Agent and Philanthropist waste no time in playing nice over dinner. Alongside them, Marie, An, Jarvis, and yourself have one of many very entertaining dinners. Laughs exchanged between all of you.

* * * * Flashback End * * * *

You’re yanked from the memory when a heavy weight lands on your shoulder.

Tensing up, you prepare yourself to fight whoever it is but you quickly remember that you’re in the Avengers tower with earth’s mightiest heroes. The chances of this being an attack are slim.

Still slightly tense, you look over your shoulder at the owner of the hand on your body. To find America’s golden boy looking down at you.

“Everything alright?” He asks, seemingly concerned. .

You give him a small smile and chuckle softly,“ all good Captain.” You give a playfully mocking salute and he sighs instantly afterwards.

Walking around the bar, he leans on top of it with his fingers laced in front of him.“ Listen I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did on the jet earlier.”

“That’s one way to put it.” You take a bite of your food, staying silent until you swallow, then sipping your drink.“ We’re good. I know my unexpected bombing was, well, unexpected.” He chuckles lightly at your words and shakes his head.

When he reaches up to almost nervously rub the back of his neck, you know he isn’t completely sure that everything is good.

“Have a drink with me Cap.” You tell him, nodding to the shelf of alcohol behind him.

Looking from you to the drinks, he nods.“ You can call me Steve.” He tells you, putting some ice in his glass then pouring his drink.

“Well Steve,” you raise your glass to him and he gently taps his against yours.“ Feel free to call me Y/n.” You tell him, sipping your drink.

He smiles softly at you, your invitation seemingly having done the job of calming his nerves slightly. Light conversation flows between the two of you, a back and forth of questions that answers don’t hold much consequence but still shed some light on the types of people yourself and Steve are.

By the time the sun has disappeared beyond the horizon and the sky is littered with stars and the lights of every skyscraper you and Steve are well through one of Tony’s more expensive bottles of liquor. Loud laughs sound from the two of you as you joke with one another.

While the alcohol doesn’t affect either of your systems as it would someone else, the other occupants of the living space would assume you were drunk.

It intrigued more than a few of them how loose and easy going Steve is. It wasn’t as if he never had fun with them or drank, but there seemed to be something about you that brought an even lighter aura to the older man.

“It was incredible. I’m telling you,” you shake your head with a small smile of excitement.“ I wasn’t inclined to be excited about it since I was there to see the Yankees kick ass, but the Dodgers played exceptionally well.”

Steve has a small smirk on his face, nodding approvingly as he sips his drink.“ Well I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Once again you laugh, finishing your drink and leaning off of the bar top.“ Ever proud, Mister America.” You say teasingly, bringing yet another laugh from the tall blonde.

He finishes off his drink and you take a deep breath and release it.“ Welp Cap,” pushing up out of your chair, you smile at him,“ it was a pleasure chatting with you. Ever want to talk about the good ole days-”

“I’ll give you a ring.” He holds his hand out to you and you shake it firmly.

As you take up the glasses and your plate you nod a goodbye to Steve and go your separate ways, you to the kitchen and Steve to the elevators.

Setting the dishes in the sink, you turn the water on and lean against the counter as you wait for it to get hot. Just before your mind can begin to wander you catch sight of movement in your peripherals.

A smirk almost instantly pulls onto your face at the sight of the red head walking in. Her green eyes are already trained on you with a look in them that you can’t describe.

“Agent Romanoff,” you nod to her, smirk still in place.

She takes small purposeful steps closer, stopping a few feet away from you,“ you lied to us. Member of SHIELD for a while?” She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head with an overly sweet smirk,“ you founded SHIELD.”

You hiss in a breath of air through your teeth, turning to face away from her as you chuckle.“ I didn’t lie, actually. Withholding all of the truth is a different thing.” Drying the plates off, you set them on the rack to dry, the forks and cups following afterwards.“ And let’s make something very clear, I am not a founder of SHIELD.” You dry your hands and turn to her.

“Really? Cause SHIELD records say otherwise” She reasons, stepping closer.

Eyebrows raising at her further approach, you do the same. You smile softly at her and close the distance between you two, leaving just under a foot of space.“ I understand you aren’t happy with the redacted details of my history Agent Romanoff so let me clear it up for you.”

Natasha tilts her head at your words and listens intently as you continue.“ I didn’t found SHIELD. I was the first ever agent. Agent Carter and Howard Stark saved me and administered me an enhanced version of the same serum Steve took. I owed them my life and I made sure to protect them,” you falter at that, jaw clenching as a horrible memory flashes through your mind.

“That’s how you met Tony?” She asks. It wasn’t missed by Natasha. The ex-assassin could read anyone. The second she noticed the distant look in your eyes she knew something was wrong and while she was curious, something told her not to ask about that.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts and look at her.“ Was in the hospital the night he was born. Watched him grow up.” You smile fondly,“ he’s family.”

For a moment it’s quiet. Still you watch Natasha, unsure if she’s finished or not. Just when you think she’s done, you nod and head towards the door, only to stop when she speaks.

“Why did you come for us?”

Turning from the door, you look over your shoulder at her,“ I owed Nick a favor.”

Her eyes narrow at you and you give a small nod before leaving out.

Neither you or Natasha would’ve guessed that would be your last conversation for the span of the next week. While you were at the tower a few times, to drop off something you’d talked about with Steve or pick up Tony before the two of you went and hung out somewhere, you hadn’t gone inside.

She wouldn’t admit it to you but Natasha had started to wonder when you’d come back. Not only does your reputation precede itself, something about your personality intrigues her more than she’d ever been before. She wanted to see you again, talk to you again.

Green eyes look through the clear blue glass, brows slightly pinched together at the sight of you and Tony hugging. Natasha debated with herself whether or not she was going to go speak to you as Steve jogged out of the front doors and over to you, sharing a handshake and a hug.

The last thing the ex-assassin expects to feel is the little flutter in her stomach when you smile brightly.

She tears her gaze away from you, frown deeper than before. Her thoughts running a mile a minute.

When a weight drops onto her shoulder she almost flinches. Grabbing the hand on her, she twists it and forces the person to stand in front of her, slamming them into the window.

“Well damn.” You curse, using your hand on the window to push yourself off the window. A chuckle falls from your lips as Natasha let’s you go.“ Guess it wasn’t a good idea to approach a trained agent without speaking.” You say jokingly, green eyes snapping down to the smile on your lips and back up.

There’s an incredibly short pause from Natasha before she channels her usually straight expression.“ What’d you want Y/Ln?”

“How bout a smile Romanoff.” When a beat passes without her expression changing you sigh.“ I want a cup of coffee. And I want you to come get one with me.”

“Come again?” Her expression cracks slightly as her eyebrows raise slightly.

You tilt your head and smile softly at her.“ You were practically shooting lasers at me through the window. Figured either you wanted to get out of the tower or you were jealous Tony and Steve were taking up all my time.” A teasing tone wraps around all your words and Natasha instantly scoffs.

“I have no reason to be jealous of Stark or Rogers.” She says and you nod.

“I figured as much. Which means you want to get out of the tower.” You nod for her to follow you.“ Cup of coffee does everyone some good.”

Natasha watches the confident stride you make towards the door, not once looking back as you just know she’s going to follow. And she does, despite her pride telling her not to.

The coffee shop isn’t too far away from the tower so you walk. Unlike your walks with Steve, it’s silent. The redhead stays two steps behind you, not saying a word as she follows.

A burst of cool air rushes past the two of you with your first step into the coffee shop to the sound of the bell jingling above you. Smiling softly at the familiar building you walk further in.

Natasha takes into account that there are no more than ten customers inside. For a New York coffee shop it was incredibly quiet and quaint.

“Love it here,” she hears you mumble as you step up to the counter.“ Hi, can I get one medium black coffee and a large iced coffee with two creams and two sugars.” The woman rings you up and you pay. Pocketing your wallet as you turn to face Natasha.

You smile at her lack of emotion. There is no reason for you to be as grumpy and blank as she is.“ I’ve been to a lot of places but here, they have the best coffee.” You tell her.

Her head tilts slightly and you purse your lips and nod. Once again it’s silent as you wait, then you grab the coffees when your name is called, turning to hand the black coffee to Natasha.

With things going the way they are, you have an internal battle on staying here or just going back to the tower. Taking one last chance, you nod to an empty table and sit down. Natasha coming over and sitting as well.

“Look, Natasha, you can’t hate me so much that we can’t even have a coffee together.” Your tone of voice is one of confusion and slight sadness.

Frowning once again at the emotions in your voice, Natasha watches you. Green, calculating eyes and a blank expression are the only signs of how hard she’s thinking right now.

With a huff of a sigh she says,“ I don’t hate you.” She admits, face finally giving way to emotion.“ I- I barely know you.”

“Well maybe we should change that.” Holding up your cup of coffee you take a sip and tell her,“ I think if you give me a chance, I might not be as bad as you think.”

Her eyes narrow and for the first time ever, you see her crack the smallest of smiles.“ We’ll see about that.”

* * * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife @yumusak-yastik

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x you #moment in time #reader insert

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thequeenxofhearts · 4 years

Text

Jason Todd x Reader

Summary: Jason buys a red car

‘Y/N.’ The manager said, ‘You can go home now.’ He smiled.

Y/N smiled back, ‘Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, Emma.’

‘Bye, Y/N.’ Y/N’s colleague, Emma replied with a smile and a little wave.

As Y/N walked into the back room, she passed another colleague, Sam along the way. Sam was taking over from her now that her shift ended, ‘How’s it been?’ He asked.

Y/N chuckled, ‘Really not that bad at all.’

‘Not like yesterday then?’ Sam asked, Y/N rolled her eyes – yesterday’s shift had been awfully busy, and Y/N and Sam had been on the late shift together.

‘God no.’ She replied and Sam laughed, ‘See you tomorrow Y/N.’

Y/N grabbed her back and her jacket off the hook, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and read a new message from Jason.

During her lunch break, they had been texting and he said he would pick her up so she wouldn’t have to walk home. She was fine with walking home, she walked to and from work every day, and she imagined Jason pulling up outside the coffee shop on his motorbike, throwing her a helmet before she climbed on the back.

She wasn’t 100% keen on riding his motorbike, she’d heard of all kinds of accidents – she knew Jason would be careful with her as his passenger, but she still didn’t trust it.

The new message said, “Wait outside for me, won’t be long”. She pulled on her jacket before she pushed open the door and left.

She didn’t know why Jason wanted to pick her up, all he said when she messaged him on her break was “I’ll pick you up”, and when she insisted that she could walk home he said he had some kind of surprise for her.

She was waiting outside. It was cold, a little bit breezy, but not cold.

She stood outside the coffee shop, looking at the bookstore opposite. If Jason wasn’t picking her up she would be in there now, picking out a book (or two or three) that she knew she didn’t need but the covers caught her eye and she’d buy them anyway.

She smiled a little thinking back to the other day when Jason had asked her if she planned on reading any of the books on the shelf or if they were just there to make it look like she reads books.

‘I’ll get to them.’ She had said.

‘I bet you can’t go a month without buying a new book.’ Jason commented, only to laugh immediately afterwards when Y/N’s eye twitched slightly.

‘Can you at least read the old ones before the new ones?’ He asked. ‘I’ll get to them.’ She repeated with a smile.

‘Y/N?’ A familiar voice brought Y/N out of her thoughts, and she looked to the person who had spoken; Jamie, her awful ex.

‘Jamie?’ She asked.

‘How are you?’ He asked.

‘I’d be better if you left me alone.’ Y/N spoke looking away from him, her eyes focusing on the bookstore.

‘Ah come on you don’t mean that.’ Jamie chuckled.

She didn’t know what his problem was – he cheated on her so she dumped him, Y/N and Jason start dating and months later they bump into him in a bar where Jamie gets thrown out.

She had never seen Jason so angry before. Come on Jason, hurry up.

‘What are you doin’ out here anyway?’ Jamie asked.

‘Waiting for Jason.’ Y/N replied.

Jamie scoffed, ‘You’re still with him?’

‘You’re still single?’ She retorted.

She could see that Jamie was grinding his teeth, he cleared his throat and seemed to brush off her comment, ‘How long have you been waiting for? I can take you home if you want?’

‘Jamie, leave me alone.’ Y/N replied, glaring into his eyes.

Before Jamie could say anything, a loud noise…a deep vroom of a car engine. It got closer and closer, and a sporty red Audi pulled up on the roadside. The window rolled down and Y/N’s eyes widened, ‘Jason?’

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ He asked Jamie, who was standing in shock at the car in front of him.

‘Umm…err…I was just…’ Jamie stuttered.

‘Going away I hope.’ Jason commented, ‘Get in.’ He said to Y/N.

Without hesitation, she pulled open the car door and climbed inside.

‘He wasn’t bothering you, was he?’ Jason asked as he merged back onto the road.

‘No…Jason, what is this?’ She asked.

Jason gave a childlike smile, ‘Our new car.’

‘You bought a car and didn’t think to ask me first?’ She exclaimed.

‘No…but technically I didn’t buy it.’

‘Oh my god, you stole it!’

‘No! No! Listen it’s from Bruce.’ Jason replied.

‘Bruce?’ Y/N asked.

Jason nodded, ‘I know what you’re thinking, I’m a little surprised myself. But do you remember a few years ago, I went to Bialyia with Bruce?’

Y/N nodded.

‘I found out then, that Bruce had set up various savings accounts for myself and the other three,’ He shrugged, ‘He said it was for our futures. And he has been adding so much into it a month.’

‘And you bought a car with it?’ Y/N asked.

‘I bought us a car.’ Jason said, hoping a sweet smile will please her.

Y/N gave a small laugh, ‘Ok, you’re gonna have to tell me more.’

‘Would it make you feel any better if I tell you that there is enough money left over for us to buy our own house?’

Y/N looked at him, ‘Seriously?’ She asked. Jason nodded, ‘I know we’re happy with our apartment now, but I’m happy for us to wait until we wanna look for somewhere else.’

‘Umm…ok wow. Bruce has been-’

‘Looking out for us.’ Jason said, he took her hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

‘So why this car?’ Y/N asked.

‘Why not? It’s a great car!’ Jason exclaimed.

‘You got it today.’ Y/N laughed.

‘I know but I love it already!’ Jason exclaimed, ‘It’s got cruise control, rear cameras, parking sensors, and the roof comes down so when the summer comes, we can have the wind blowing through our hair.’ Jason ran a hand through his thick hair and pretending it was blowing in the summer breeze.

‘Yeah, the dirty Gotham wind.’ Y/N replied.

‘You know what I mean.’ Jason replied.

‘What car is it?’ Y/N asked, she had been too shocked to even notice what it was, only that it was red with black in some places – Jason’s favourite colours, of course.

His eyes lit up, she could tell he was desperate to sell this car to her, ‘It’s an Audi R8 V10 Quattro.’ He explained like a car salesman, ‘I love it, don’t you?’

‘It’s a cool car, but the question is, what are you gonna do with your bike?’ Y/N asked.

‘I have it all planned out babe, I’ll use my bike when you have the car. I know you have nowhere to park at work but I’ll drop you off and pick you up whenever you want, I’ll use my bike on patrol or whenever you have the car.’ Jason explained.

‘I suppose it would be nice to not have to walk to work in the rain.’

‘Or get the bus.’ Jason added.

He turned to their apartment building and parked in the building’s parking garage. He pulled into the parking space next to his bike.

He climbed out of the car and ran around to the passenger side to open the door for Y/N, he took her hand and helped her out of the car.

‘Check this out.’ He said excitedly, he pressed the lock on the car key, and it locked the car. The wing mirrors went in as the blinkers flashed, then he pressed the button again and the blinkers flashed for a few seconds longer, ‘It’s activated the alarm.’ He said proudly.

‘Jay most cars have that function on the key.’ Y/N replied.

Jason frowned, ‘But most cars aren’t like my car.’

Y/N took his hand and pulled him towards the elevator, ‘It’s a beautiful car Jay.’ She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, ‘No, it’s a cool car, you’re beautiful.’

Y/N blushed, ‘Come on.’ She smiled, pulling him into the elevator.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #y/n #jason todd x y/n #reader inserts #reader #new car #audi #red hood #red hood x reader #bruce wayne

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spooderboyandtincan · 4 years

Text

The 12(ish) Days of December

A/N: I intended to write a Hanukkah themed chapter, but unfortunately I suffered some burnout and I couldn’t really start it :(((((( I plan and hope to add on to this in the future, I just wanted to get it out here on time! Happy Holidays everyone!!

Read on Ao3

/ST*RKERS DNI/

“Che palle!” May cried as she and Peter stepped out of the elevator. “Tony, what the hell is that?!”

“It’s a giant teddy bear,” Tony called back from the kitchen. “It’s for you, Pete!”

“Me?” Peter gasped, his face lighting up. He charged toward the ten-foot teddy bear and tackled it. The giant brown bear teetered slightly with his weight but didn’t tip over. “He’s so soft!”

Tony came out of the kitchen with a wide grin on his face. He wiped his flour-coated hands on his pants and tried to give Peter a hug without pushing him off the bear,

“He’s so beautiful!” Peter giggled, wrapping his arms around the bear’s neck. “And huge!”

Tony nodded in a proud, self-satisfied sort of way. Besides being delighted that the boy clearly adored his gift, he now had proof that this was obviously how one should react when presented with a ten-foot-tall stuffed animal. He'd have to take a picture and send it to Pepper.

May tossed her purse on the floor and shook her head at Tony. “As long as you can find a place for it, I’m not complaining,” she chuckled.

“I’ll rent a storage unit somewhere,” Tony supplied, taking a sip of coffee from his Iron Man shaped mug. Tony treasured that mug, which had been gifted to him by Peter several months ago. He never brought it in the lab for fear that Dum-E or U would break it, and he kept it in the cabinet next to his “1# IronDad” mug (also a precious gift from his kid).

He looked back to Peter, who had wrapped his arms around the bear, which was tilting dangerously. “Be careful, kiddo,” he said, biting his lip. But the moment the words got out of his mouth, Peter and the gigantic teddy bear started to topple to the ground.

“Shit-!” he began, darting forward, only to be met by Peter’s giggles.

“Nooo. Leave me. ‘M comfy.” He rolled onto the bear’s big belly and sprawled across it. “This’s perfect,” he hummed, closing his eyes.

Tony and May shared a slightly exasperated yet fond glance. Tony flopped down next to Peter, tucking a curl behind his ear. “Now that I think about it, spider-baby,” he mused, “I’ve got something else for ya.”

Peter perked up and opened his eyes. “What?”

Tony gave him a large grin and ran a hand through his curls. “C’mere.” He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led Peter to his room.

May sighed. “I swear to god, Tony, if you’re giving him an Audi….” she muttered.

“I’m not!” the man insisted. Peter rolled his eyes and sat down on his bead.

Tony put a warm palm over his eyes. “Close your eyes, bud.”

Peter tried to keep his eyes closed as Tony ran to his own room, tearing through what sounded like wrapping paper and knocking boxes over with no absence of cursing.

Moments later, a small, leather 4x4 inch box was placed on his open palm. He opened his eyes and looked first at the box, then at up Tony, who smiled. May shrugged and gestured to open it.

Inside the box rested a thin, slender watch with a smooth black strap. The face of the watch was rectangular, and when Peter pushed the button on the side it lit up, displaying the time above what looked like a mini arc reactor. It resembled the StarkWatch he was wearing that very moment, except it looked more high-tech.

“A new StarkWatch, specially customized for you, by yours truly,” Tony said. “Your old one looked pretty busted, even though they’re supposed to be indestructible.” Peter snickered at Tony’s gentle jab. “And it’s got a few minor upgrades. You can set the lock screen, for one. And it should be trackable from anywhere in the universe, and I mean everywhere. And you can call me, or May, or Ned or Rhodey or whoever from the top of Mount Everest or the bottom of the Mariana Trench.”

“Wow,” Peter whispered, tracing the sides of the watch before strapping it onto his wrist. “Thank you, Mister Stark! I love it! It’s so cool!”

“What happened to ‘Tony?’” he grumbled playfully, giving his spider-baby a kiss on his head. “I’m glad you like it, buddy. It’s basically the same stuff as your old one, just better.”

Then, to both Peter and May’s surprise, Tony bent down and grabbed a colorful red bag covered in golden glitter. Peter laughed.

“Tony, it’s only the ninth!” May snorted, her eyebrows raised past her hairline.

“That’s because we’ll need these before Christmas,” Tony said wisely. He handed Peter a soft package wrapped in green tissue paper and watched him tear the packaging in half.

“It’s so ugly!” he cried, holding up a garish green sweater. There was a plastic red ball attached to the big reindeer's nose and tiny bells were tied onto the reindeer’s harness. Little snowflakes were patterned all over, and Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “I love it, Tony!” Peter pulled the sweater on and was delighted to find that the fabric was incredibly soft, instead of the unbearably itchy sweaters he had owned in the past. “It’s perfect!”

Tony laughed fondly at his already thrilled kid. “If you think it’s good now, wait till you see this. FRI, lights off,” he ordered.

Peter felt Tony fumble with something on his shoulder, and suddenly the sweater lit up. The reindeer’s nose lit up bright red, the snowflakes began to glow, and, as cliché as it might have sounded, the bells gave a merry jingle as Peter laughed.

“I love it!” He tackled Tony with a hug, relaxing slightly in the man’s arms.

“Good,” Tony chuckled, “‘Cause I’ve got about three more for you and your aunt each.”

“Tony, where’re we going?” Peter whined, his breath fogging the window. “Tell meeee!”

“My lips are sealed,” Tony said, pretending to zip his lips shut and throw away the key. “We’re almost there, Rudolph, don’t worry.”

“Rudolph?!” Peter snorted.

Tony reached over the console to ruffle his hair. “I thought you might want a Christmas nickname,” he explained. “Plus, y’know, you already had a nickname available that only required a bit of simple reconstruction, Roo.”

Peter shook his head. “Just tell meeee!”

“No. Never.”

“Pleeease?”

“I physically can’t, buddy.”

“Tell me! Tellmetellmetellme pleeeeeeeeease?”

“Will… to keep secrets… decreasing,” Tony said robotically. “Fine. We’re going ice-skating, Petey-Pie.”

Peter gasped, his big chocolate eyes going wide. “Really?!”

Tony grinned and glanced over to his kid. “Really.” He wished he could stop the car and give his sweet boy a hug.

“But…” Peter bit his lip. “I don’t really know how. I mean, I went ice skating with Ned a few years ago but we mostly fell over and bruised our butts.”

Tony chuckled fondly. “That’s okay kiddie, I’ll show you the arts. Rhodey and I went when we were in college, and man, we had a blast laughing at each other. Oh- we’re here!”

“Tony, I don’t have any skates!” Peter realized as they hopped out of the car.

“I already got you some, Pete, don’t worry,” Tony assured him. He opened the trunk of the car. “And I brought you an extra hat, a coat, a scarf, some better gloves, extra socks and a pair of snow pants.”

“Tony,” Peter began, leaning into the hug the man offered him all the same. He grumbled and rolled his eyes but let Tony wrap a scarf around his neck and trade his thin woolen gloves out for much warmer, thicker ones. Peter had to admit he felt a lot warmer. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Thanks, Pete. M’kay, I’ve got these fancy red and blue skates for you and red and gold for me.”

“And I’m sure the color choices were random?” Peter asked sarcastically. “Wait- these have the Spider-Man logo on them! Mr. Stark, are there Spider-Man ice-skates?!”

Tony bent to kiss his forehead. “There are, Pete. Pretty cool, huh?”

“So cool! I love ‘em, thank you, Tony!” He held up the skates to admire them. “They’re great!”

“No problem, buddy. It was my pleasure.”

Peter flopped down in the snow and pulled on his skates. He looked up to admire the tall oak and pine trees swaying gently with the wind, the last leaves of fall scattering along the icy roads. A pair of snowflakes drifted down to his coat, and Peter felt a sort of peace flow through him.

“Petey? Are you comin’?” Tony called, skating back and forth along the edge of the pond. Peter knotted the laces of his skates tightly and struggled to his feet.

“I’m trying!” he yelled, staggering forward. He leaned over the ice and felt a bit dizzy. It was about a foot down to the actual ice, and Peter knew without a doubt that he would slip if he tried to get down. “I dunno, um….”

“I gotcha, Petey, don’t worry.” Tony held out his arms and gave him a reassuring smile. Hesitantly, Peter lowered stepped onto the frozen pond, grabbing Tony’s arm and clinging to him as he got both feet on the ice.

“Good job, Roo!” the man praised, lifting him up by the armpits so he was standing up a bit straighter. He couldn’t help but compare Peter to a fawn who just stood up for the very first time, and the boy’s big bambi eyes weren’t helping his case. “Getting on the ice is the hardest part. I’ve landed on my ass more times than I can count.” Tony frowned at himself. “Sorry I said ‘ass,’ don’t repeat that.”

Peter snorted. His skates slipped and he felt Tony’s arms tighten around him. “Whoa there, buddy. I gotcha.” He tucked a loose curl behind the teen’s ear and kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“‘M’kay, you ready, Pete?”

“Heck yeah!”

Tony grinned. “Okay, first, you said ‘heck yeah’ instead of ‘hell yeah’ and that’s adorable,” he teased, chuckling at Peter’s eye roll. “Second: let’s wreck this rink!”

Though of course, they ended up making more of a wreck of themselves rather than the rink.

The very second Peter slid his foot forward, he found himself spontaneously falling backwards. Luckily, Tony caught him easily and gently pulled him back up.

“I meant to do that,” he huffed, his small hands scrabbling at Tony’s coat. “It was- completely- intentional.”

“Of course it was, Roo, I know that,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows. “No one has the grace and agility you do.”

“I am graceful, Tony! How dare you?!” Peter grumbled.

Tony might have made a quip about the arms wrapped tightly around his waist for support, but he decided his poor kid had suffered enough. Despite bumping into every table or chair in his path, Peter was surprisingly graceful, especially when he swung with ease through the air on a thin stand of webbing. “You are graceful, buddy, I promise,” he admitted. “You wanna give it another try?”

Peter stuck his tongue out at him, adjusted his hat, and gingerly took a step forward. Tony tensed, ready to lunge forward and catch him if the boy slipped, but found himself letting a quiet cheer. “Nice job, Pete!”

Peter beamed at him, his legs spread far apart and his arms extended for balance. He tipped backwards and Tony started to jump forward, but Peter flailed his arms around and regained his balance.

“I think you’re getting the hang of it, kiddo!” Tony called as Peter made his way to the opposite side of the pond. He winced suddenly, protectiveness flooding through him at his retreating figure. “Be careful! Wait for me!”

He caught up to Peter easily and zipped in front of him, catching him by the shoulders. “You’re doing great, baby!”

“Thanks,” he giggled, looking down at his shoes. He wiped his red nose with the back of his hand and sniffled. “‘S fun!”

Tony smiled and adjusted Peter’s scarf. “Glad to hear it.”

“Tony?” he asked. “Can you do a figure eight?”

The man paused to consider this, clicking his tongue. “Only one way to find out!” he decided.

Peter watched excitedly as he skated out to the middle of the pond, looking practically weightless. Tony took a deep breath, prayed he didn’t break any bones, then pushed off. He zoomed around the pond in a perfect figure eight, only faltering for a brief moment, and traced over it twice before he skidded back to Peter. “Ta-da!”

Peter applauded, clearly very impressed. Tony bowed exaggeratedly and pretended to be embarrassed.

“D’you think I should try?” Peter asked.

Tony smiled fondly. “Only if you want to. I know you’d nail it though.”

And he did. Peter skated carefully to the edge of the pond and performed the figure eight beautifully, spinning in circles and laughing when he got a bit too dizzy.

Tony skated up to him, his eyes huge. “Jesus, Petey, that was fantastic!” He pulled the embarrassed teen to his chest and wished, not for the first time, that Peter wasn’t wearing a hat so he could kiss the top of his head. He settled for Peter’s cheek instead. “Wow, baby, that was amazing! Wait- I gotta sign you up for the Olympics. Where’s my phone- oh, I got it.” He pulled his phone from his coat.

“Tony, nooooo!” Peter protested.

“Tony yes. You’re too talented.”

“It was just a figure eight!” he giggled. “And you did one too so you hafta sign yourself up.” Peter looked up to the gray sky and shivered as the brisk winds tore at his heavy coat and scarf. He leaned even closer to Tony.

“You cold, baby?” Tony rubbed his back gently, hoping to generate some warmth. “Wanna go back home? We can come back here anytime you want.”

Peter sighed a bit sadly, but he had to admit he was freezing. He and Tony skated back to the car quickly. Snowflakes began to fall rapidly down as gusts of wind tried to upset their balance. Tony helped Peter onto the bank and they hurriedly yanked off their ice skates.

They found refuge in the car only when Tony turned the heater up full blast and leaned over the console to pull Peter into his arms. Peter’s shivers that had been worrying him far more than Tony had been willing to say eventually died off and together they watched what was now practically a blizzard raging outside.

“Just in time,” Tony mumbled into Peter’s curls. “Feel any better, baby?”

He grew worried when he received no response and pulled back. Peter’s eyes were shut and his breathing slow, though he made a small whimpering noise in the back of his throat when Tony pulled away. Tony smiled, a tender, loving light in his eyes and pulled Peter back into his arms, cradling his kid against his chest and rubbing his back soothingly. “‘M here. ‘M here, baby, don’t worry,” he cooed, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Peter curls tickled his cheek, his warm breath heating the skin of Tony’s neck. The console between him and his kid was uncomfortable and hard against his side, but he wouldn’t have moved for the world. Tony held Peter tightly and closed his eyes.

Maybe they could stay there a little while as they waited for the blizzard to pass.

III

Tony had been brewing a hot cup of coffee in the kitchen when a disheveled, sniffling, sleepy Peter face-planted into his back.

“Whoa, bud!” Tony spun around and caught the boy under the armpits. “Hey, hey. Are you okay?” He tilted Peter’s chin back and found that his nose was bright red, his eyes were half-lidded, and his bedhead was a lot worse (though still absolutely adorable) than it usually was.

“‘M fine,” Peter sniffled, leaning heavily against his chest. “Missed you.”

“Oh, baby,” Tony murmured, wrapping his arms around the small teen, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He gave his definitely-not-sick spider-baby a smooch on his temple. “You’re pretty warm,” he noted with a hint of worry in his voice. He pressed the back of his hand to the teen’s forehead. “Do you wanna lie down, kiddo?”

Peter shook his head weakly. “Wan’ you.”

Tony’s heart melted and he turned into a pile of mush. In this tired, sick, achy state Peter was clingier than ever, and all he wanted was him. He wanted Tony. He kissed Peter’s temple. “I’m gonna stay right here, Petey, don’t worry,” he assured his kid. “I promise.”

Tony held Peter with one arm while he rummaged through the kitchen cabinets with the other. “FRI? What’s up with the spider-baby?”

“Peter is exhibiting symptoms of a common cold, such as coughing, sneezing, a runny nose, and a fever,” the AI replied. Tony felt a pang of worry and empathy in his heart.

“Okay. I’ve got your pain meds,” he announced in a whisper. “Do you want water or OJ?”

Peter decided on the latter, not bothering to raise his head but simply mumbling “juice” into the man’s chest. Tony hummed in agreement and attempted to pour a glass for himself one-handedly (most of the juice ended up on the counter, but holding his sick kid was far more important than pouring orange juice).

He led the boy to the couch, a steadying hand around his shoulders. Peter snuggled against him, coughing and sniffling. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and shivered.

Tony placed two white pills into palm. Peter took a hesitant sip of his drink and gulped down the pills. Tony tucked an errant curl behind his ear and placed a kiss one his temple.

With Peter still in his hold, he strained to reach the weighted electric blanket that had fallen behind the couch. With a painful crack from his twisted back, he finally managed to get his fingers around the feather-soft blanket and settled back on the couch with a triumphant grunt.

He wrapped the electric blanket tightly around them both. Peter’s shivering caused a surge of fierce protection to run through his veins, and Tony hugged him to his chest, pressing a kiss to his soft, though slightly sweaty curls. He glared at the dark corners of the room, as if somehow the very cold that was making his child suffer so much would leap from the shadows.

Peter found comfort in the vibrations of Tony’s chest and the beat of his heart. The calloused fingers running through his hair and the occasional kiss against his temple soothed him beyond measure, and without ever realizing it, Peter started to drift off. Compared to when he had woken up, soaked with sweat, wheezing and sniffling and rather nauseous, he felt so much better in his father-figure’s embrace.

Dimly, he noticed that Tony was talking to him. He thought he recognized the words coming out of his mouth, and he realized suddenly that Tony was reading Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree to him. That book had been Peter’s favorite when he was a small toddler, and hearing the familiar words aloud brought a big burst of happiness to his chest.

Peter let his eyes slip shut for a second. The headache that had been pounding in his head was completely gone and in Tony’s arms, he felt incredibly warm and cozy and happy.

When his eyes opened again, he determined that Tony had finished reading the book. If he had had enough energy, he would have asked him to read another. But much to his delight, he realized Tony had already picked up another book.

And just before his eyes fluttered shut, he heard Tony’s gentle voice speaking, full of love. “I love you, Petey.”

I love you too.

“Mmm, Tony, the spaghetti was fantastic!” May exclaimed as she loaded her plate into the dishwasher. “I need that recipe, it’s just too good!”

Tony looked at Peter out of the corner of his eyes. The boy shook his head frantically and drew a finger across his throat. Tony snickered. “Thank you, May, I’m glad to hear that,” he said.

To be completely truthful, he felt like throwing up. During the dinner, Peter had chatted enough to distract him, but now his emotions were left to himself, and Tony had barely been swallowed by them. He stuffed the last plate in the dishwasher and took a few long, deep breaths. He massaged his forehead and blinked, sitting down heavily on the couch.

Tony’s heart was beating out of his chest. He looked up to the boy, who was texting someone- probably Ned, completely oblivious. “Pete?” he began shakily. “Do you think we could talk for a second?” He and May shared a glance. She realized immediately what he was about to do and gave him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

“Yeah!” Peter vaulted onto the couch with a laugh. His grin faded when he saw how worried, how scared the man looked. Alarm kindled in his chest. “What’s wrong, Mr. Stark?”

Tony couldn’t bring himself to laugh at the cookie crumbs in the corners of his mouth or the way his hair frizzed everywhere as he pulled his Santa hat off. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Um-” Tony had to clear his throat. He reached down and grabbed a briefcase leaning against the couch that Peter hadn’t noticed before. “Uh,” he tried. He pulled two papers out of the briefcase and stared at them for a long while. “Do you think that you could give these a read, kiddo?”

Peter nodded silently and took them. He looked up at Tony, his head tilted in confusion.

He looked to the papers. His eyes widened in disbelief. “W-what? I-” He turned the papers over as if there would be a sticky note saying “IT'S A PRANK!” on the back. “What? W-what? I-I don’t-” Peter shook his head.

He couldn’t stop looking at those cream-colored papers.

Child: Peter Benjamin Parker

Adopting Parent(s): Anthony Edward Stark

The rest of the paper was blank, except for Tony’s signature at the bottom.

“Am I asleep? This-this is a dream, right?” Peter's eyes were filling with tears but he didn’t bother to wipe them away.

“It’s not a dream, sweetheart,” May said gently. “It’s real.” She squeezed his knee, hoping to ground him.

“Really?” He opened his mouth but couldn’t seem to form words. He gaped like a fish, reading the adoption papers over and over again. “You-you wanna adopt me?” he finally managed to squeak out.

Tony finally gathered the courage to look at his kid. “Yeah, baby. But only if you want to, okay? Nothing would change, though. We’d- just be making it official. Everything would be the same except-” He throat closed, and suddenly he couldn’t speak.

Except Peter would be his official son- legally, on paper. And Tony would be his official dad. (There was no way Tony wasn’t already his dad.)

“What are you thinking, baby?” he murmured, instinctively tucking a curl behind Peter’s ear with shaky hands.

Tony’s gentle touch was enough to break the dam of emotions that had been holding back. Peter sniffled, then burst into tears and practically jumped into his dad’s arms.

Tony hugged him tightly, rubbing a hand up and down his back and pressing long kisses to his temple. Peter blubbered into his chest, happy tears soaking Tony’s sweater. May wrapped her arms around the two and squeezed them both tightly.

Tony felt tears prickle in his own eyes and he dropped his forehead to Peter’s curls. “Is that a yes?” he finally managed to say.

Peter giggled wetly and nodded frantically against his chest.

A grin as wide as a dinner plate crossed Tony’s face. He realized suddenly that tears were streaming down his cheeks, but he didn’t wipe them away. He kissed the top of Peter's head and squeezed him tighter.

May pressed a quick kiss on Peter’s cheek and stood up. “I’ll be back in a bit,” she said, sensing that the father and son might want a moment alone.

Tony rocked his kid back and forth, rubbing his back and pressing kiss after kiss to his cheek. “I love you,” he murmured into his chestnut curls. “I love you.” IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.

“Love you,” Peter babbled. “I love you too. I love you.”

He held Peter at an arm’s length, still grinning. Then he pulled his kid back to him again and kissed his cheek, wiping away his tears with the pad of his thumb. “I love you.”

Peter sniffled, wiping his nose with his sweater. He wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck and curled around him like a koala. He leaned heavily against his dad’s chest, his breathing beginning to even out. Tony’s chest vibrated with every “I love you so much, Petey” and his ceaseless murmurs of love and comfort.

“Love you, Dad,” he said sleepily, his eyelids drooping.

A lump formed in Tony’s throat that he couldn’t seem to swallow past. Tears started to trickle down his cheeks. “Petey-” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “I love you so much. So damn much, okay?” He ran his hand up and down the boy’s back, kissing his temple and trying to blink his happy tears away.

Tony felt himself slowly drifting asleep. He blinked, and then his cheek was resting on his kid’s curls. His eyes closed again, and suddenly May was there, draping a blanket over them. He tried to tell her to get Peter’s special heated blanket, because his poor kid couldn’t thermoregulate and absolutely hated the cold. Then he realized that she had already tucked it around the boy and sighed in relief, finally letting himself relax.

May settled on the opposite side of Peter and wrapped an arm around him. Within minutes she was snoring quietly, but Tony was too tired to notice. A wave of joy and peace and love washed over him, and his eyes slipped shut.

~~~~~

/ST*RKERS DNI/

~~~~~

Taglist: @imissyoutoo @aj-that-person @tonystark-deserves-better @nathaly-ab @skeeter-110 @peter-and-tony-vlogs @teammightypen @joyful-soul-collector @loveliestdisappointment @depuella @scwene-qween @honeythepooh @pixiethefirecat7 @spider-man-lover @jami161 @bringitonvoldie @queen-of-sarcasm-25 @roxy3457 @memilon @iron-loyalty @gralaca @bitchingpretty @pillowspace @thatminecraftgal @clockworkteacup @hatakehikari @wtfischeese @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @skydiving-without-a-parachute @yansi1923 @slytherin-hamilton-life-12 @dead-inside-pt2 @name-me-regret @zanderljones @spidy8664 @hold-our-destiny

If anyone wants to be added/ removed please let me know!

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sunkissedpages · 4 years

Note

idk if you're taking requests but I would die to have a tom x bi!fem!reader I guess I never read one. like something with her ex girlfriend calling and him getting jealous. treating this as a normal thing CAUSE IT SHOULD BE A NORMAL THING. sorry my bi-self its kinda angry today lol. BTW you're writing its just... omg so good, you're freaking talented girl!

you had me at bi!reader lol also yes i named the ex after jade from victorious don’t @ me

i’m also tempted to make a nsfw version of this but...

warnings: swearing, drug mention

You sighed when the music you had been playing in Tom’s car cut off suddenly and reached up to reject the incoming call, but froze when you saw “j (don’t answer!!!)” pop up as the Caller ID. Your thumb hovered over the End Call button, hesitating for a second too long before finally tapping it and swiping away the notification. You held your breath as the music came back on, hoping your boyfriend hadn’t noticed your reaction. But he knew you better than you knew yourself and picked up on your nerves instantly.

“Who was that?”

You cursed under your breath and sunk further into your seat. “Oh, uh, just... Jade.”

A spark of recognition lit up behind his warm, brown eyes and he pursed his lips. “Jade? Your ex-girlfriend?”

“That’s the one,” you confirmed, nodding.

“Why is she calling you?”

You shrugged and tried to play it off. “I don’t know.”

To be fair, you didn’t know why she was calling, but you knew it had to be important if she was reaching out at all. Your relationship hadn’t ended on the best of terms all those months ago, and there was still the dull ache of what was associated with her name. You didn’t want to talk to her. And you really didn’t want Tom to watch you talk to her.

“Should you... call her back?” he asked.

“No,” you answered a little too quickly, averting your eyes from your boyfriend’s gaze. “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

You were about to reply when the Incoming Call notification popped up on the Audi’s touchscreen display again. You muttered fuck under your breath and pressed the answer button against your better judgment, worried that she might be in some sort of trouble.

“Hello?”

“Hey, y/n,” her voice echoed through the speakers softly and you had to force yourself to take a breath before responding so your voice wouldn’t shake.

“Uh, Jade. Um, is everything okay?”

You glanced over at Tom who was focused on the road. He appeared to be as calm and composed as ever, but his grip on the steering wheel gave his true feelings away. His knuckles were turning white around the dark leather and the seams were pressing into his skin. You reached out and put a hand on his thigh in an attempt to calm both his and your own nerves.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jade said after a moment, clearing her throat awkwardly. “Actually, no it’s not.”

“Oh, what’s up?”

“Do you remember our shitty landlord back at Monty’s?” she asked.

“How could I forget?” you laughed bitterly, even though it was all you wanted to do. “That asshole tried to make us pay double rent like six different times, claiming we hadn’t already paid it.”

“He was also homophobic as hell,” Jade added.

“And creepy.”

Jade laughed and those old, fluttery feelings in the pit of your stomach threatened to surface again. It was the effect she always had on you and apparently still did, at least in some capacity. Guilt began to set in when you felt yourself smile listening to her laugh and you retracted your hand from Tom’s leg.

“But why do you ask?”

“Oh, right. He’s being a dick about the faucet in our- my bathroom. It’s leaking and he won’t fix it because he says it’s my fault that it’s broken in the first place.”

You hadn’t realized Jade still lived in that old apartment you used to share. Maybe you should have guessed, since you had been the one to move out when things ended, but it had been so long ago that you had just assumed she was living somewhere else now. You wondered if she had taken other people home there, if there was someone different sleeping in your spot on the bed every night, cooking for her like you used to-

“Anyway,” she went on, snapping you out of it, “it’s bullshit. It’s leaking because it’s old, not because I did anything to it. But he always listened to you because you were better at sweet-talking him. I’m... too bitchy, I guess. I know it’s a lot to ask after everything that happened between us, but I was wondering if you could maybe... give him a call? And ask him to fix it?”

Tom looked over at you with eyebrows raised expectantly, him and Jade both waiting for your answer.

“Yeah, I can give him a call,” you sighed reluctantly. “But if he says no, I’m not asking again.”

“Oh my god thank you, y/n,” she gushed. “You’re the best! I-I wouldn’t have called, but the leak has already damaged part of the floor and he’s dodging me-”

“You don’t have to explain it all. I’ll call him, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Thank you so much. You’re a fucking lifesaver.”

“Don’t mention it,” you said, “I’ll uh, I’ll text you to let you know what he says.”

“Sounds good!” she chirped. “Hey, if everything goes well you should let me smoke you out as a thank you.”

“Oh,” you paused, glancing back at Tom who wasn’t even hiding his scowl now. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Well the offer’s open if you ever want to take me up on it. Ya know, for old time’s sake.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you promised.

“Okay,” she said with a sigh, “I’ll let you go now... it was nice hearing from you again.”

“Yeah, likewise,” you lied through gritted teeth and hung up, finally feeling like you could exhale.

Your music started playing automatically again once the call had ended, but Tom turned it down immediately, clearly distracted.

Your head was still reeling from the conversation you’d just had and you would need three to five business days to process it, but you knew you had to say something to Tom. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but his jaw was clenched like it was when he was upset so you knew it couldn’t be good.

“I’m... sorry if that was weird for you,” you tried. “I know it was weird for me.”

Tom turned his head toward in surprise, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say anything, and his eyes softened immediately. “Are you okay, love?”

“Yeah,” you said and nodded like you were trying to convince yourself too, “I think so.”

“You sure?”

You nodded again, then asked him the same. “Are you okay?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m trying to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, my girlfriend’s ex just called her out of the blue and basically asked to hook up with her right in front of me, so I’ve been better.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s jealousy and settled for crossing your arms over your chest instead. “Tom, she did not ask to hook up with me. Were we listening to the same conversation?”

“It wasn’t that hard to read between the lines, y/n. ‘You should let me smoke you out as a thank you’, like that wasn’t just straight-up flirting. She was obviously using the god damn faucet as an excuse just to talk to you again.”

“I-”

He wasn’t wrong, and evidently you both knew that. The faucet might have been a legitimate issue, but it was an awfully convenient one too. You brought your thumb to your mouth and started chewing on your nail anxiously, not even realizing you were doing so until Tom gently pulled your hand away.

“Sorry,” you murmured.

“No, darling, don’t apologize,” he insisted. “I know it was probably difficult to hear from her after so long, and I, I’m not making it any fucking easier. I just got in my head about things... because your relationship with her was so serious and it lasted for like two years and you lived together and we’ve only been dating for a few months-"

You sighed and leaned over the center console to rest your head on his shoulder. “All of that may be true, but you know I would never go back to her, right?”

He paused for a moment before finally nodding. “I do.”

“She’s my past. You’re my future.”

Tom smiled and leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “And you’re mine. For as long as you want to be.”

#1.3k words #i've been sitting on this for like a week and a half i'm so sorry #answered #wazzupblurbs #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland self insert #tom holland blurb #bi!reader #tw: homophobia mention #tom holland x bi!reader #tom holland imagine

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quietmyfearswith · 4 years

Text

girl at home ; andy barber x fem!reader ; 1/3

status — completed series

word count — 4,830 words

warnings — few swear words, a bit of defending jacobs spoilers, not compliant with book/show ending, fluff?? bit of angst???

pairing — andy barber x fem!reader

a/n — lmao i lied this comes first then in a few i’ll post the final part of public’s eye. if someone reads this pls tell me what youd be more interested in, august walker or steve rogers social media au

masterlist | series masterlist

After proving Jacob’s innocence Andy imagined things would have been smooth-sailing from there. He was wrong.

Laurie asked for a divorce; citing how their marriage was built on a lie and that it was time to be truthful to themselves and to Jacob. They both also agreed that it wasn’t just working anymore, but on Andy’s part he was more than willing to try harder for it to work, but didn't want to push it. He accepted her wishes and didn’t fight for full custody over Jacob — he was more than content with spending weekends and certain holidays with his son. They both moved out of their Newton house and revealed to Andy how they were both relocating to Bakersfield in California; the lawyer being partially surprised with how far they were moving, but ultimately remembered how she had some family members over there.

Before their departure, Andy and Jacob got to bond one last time and somehow their conversation shifted to how the former had no plans of selling the house and moving somewhere else. “Don’t you think you’d be too lonely?”

The blunt question did get Andy thinking but he shrugged it off, “Maybe? I just don’t see myself living anywhere else, I guess.”

Nodding, the boy looked out the window as the Audi drove by. His eyes scanned a big red sign that read “For Rent” and suddenly gave him the idea as he turned to his father, “Or you could put a room up for rent?”

Hitting the brakes smoothly as there was a red light, he turned to his son and looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“Green light,” Jacob informed and Andy nodded as he released his foot off the brake and continued the way home, “Advertise my room, or the spare one, for rent. That way, you know, you won’t really be alone.”

Pursing his lips together, Andy thought about it for a while. Would anyone even one to live there? With him? He didn’t want to seem like he was rejecting his son’s idea or make him feel like he was a fool for coming up with that one so he just found himself nodding, “Sounds like a great idea, pal.”

And when they were back at home, Jacob insisted he help his dad place an advertisement online for the availability of the spare bedroom across Jacob’s. Even though he thought it was a foolish idea, Andy just went along with it for two reasons — one, he just wanted to go along with what his son wanted and make him somewhat happy. And the second one being he was absolutely positive no one would want to live here.

It was a deal too good to be true; surely there had to be a catch? $500 a month for a room that was fully furnished? Maybe the house was just ugly? Or perhaps the room wasn’t really how it was pictured? Either way Y/N found herself messaging the house owner, Andy Barber, and let her know she was interested in checking the place out.

Pulling up in front of the house, Y/N let out a long whistle as she marveled at how the exterior of the house was well-groomed and clean. Exiting her car, she made her way to the front door and rang the doorbell and leaned by one of the columns as she took in the quiet ambiance of the neighborhood. Hearing the door creak upon, she turned around and smiled, “Hi! Are you Andy Barber?”

The bearded man was dressed in a simple ragged t-shirt and a pair of sweats; and despite the impression that he had just woken up, she thought that he had this cute boyish charm to him. “Yeah that’s me, you must be Y/N?” He offered his hand out for a shake, one which the girl enthusiastically shook.

As they both unclasped their hands Y/N wondered, “Is it a bad time? I can come back later,” Her question had him chuckling and she felt her heart warm with how relaxed he looked as he shook his head, “It’s not a bad time, this is just how I normally look.”

He stepped aside so she could come in and take a tour of the house. As Y/N was being shown around the house, she could not prevent her jaw from dropping from how cozy, elegant, and complete everything looked.

“And if you choose to, this is where you’ll be staying,” Andy opened the room to the spare bedroom and led her inside and allowed her to take a look around. It had a bed, a dresser and wardrobe, mirror, a reading chair, and a study desk paired with an office chair.

Turning to the man, “So what’s the catch?” Her question caught him off guard and folded his arms as he tilted his head to the side, “The catch?”

She nodded and looked at him as if she had the telepathic abilities to let him know what she was thinking, “You know, the reason why the rent’s so cheap? Is this house haunted? Do you actually have a rat infestation problem?”

As Andy threw his head back laughing at her suggestions, he couldn’t remember the last time he was this carefree. “No catch,” he explained once he calmed down from laughing and sat down on the reading chair, “Not haunted or rat infestation, really. Just I don’t know,” he struggled to look for the right words as he placed his hands on his thighs and rubbed them, “Put a room up for rent just so I wouldn’t get lonely.”

Y/N leaned by the office desk that was beside the chair Andy was sitting on as she spoke, “Well I liked the place so much; I’m guessing that means you won’t have to be alone?”

Looking up at her Andy smiled, “That’s great then, let me get the spare house key for you.”

“I hope I don’t seem too fast or what, but I hope you don’t mind if I move my things up already? I have all my belongings in the car.”

Andy nodded, “Oh no worries about it, let me help you get your stuff.”

For the next couple of hours, Y/N settled her things around the room. She placed her clothes on the dresser and wardrobe. Settled her pictures and other stationery items on the desk. Attaching the house keys to the keychain she had which contained her keys and skipped her way down the stairs.

Seeing how Andy was by his office area she asked, “Oh by the way I forgot to ask, are you allergic to something?”

“Planning to kill me already huh?” He joked as he looked at her pointedly to which she rolled her eyes at, “No, dummy. I was planning on cooking dinner.”

“Nope, not allergic to anything,” he clarified and she smiled and waved goodbye. Looking at her retreating form, Andy shook his head as he took note of how silly his new roommate was. He buried himself with preparing his things for office as Y/N went around to explore her new neighborhood’s grocery store.

Dozing off in the bedroom, Andy woke up once a savory and aromatic smell hit his nostrils. Rubbing off the sleep in his eyes, he sat up and glanced at the clock on his bedside table and took note of how it was already 5:30 in the evening. Slept longer than I thought I would, he thought to himself as he left the comfort of his bedroom and headed to see the source of the fantastic smell.

Upon reaching the kitchen he was greeted with the sight of Y/N moving around the kitchen, “What’s all this commotion about?”

Stopping her movements from stirring the pot, she smiled, “Cooking dinner; made carbonara,” she pointed to the pot she was currently attending to, “Baked some garlic bread,” she pointed to the pyrex container which had a few loaves of bread in it, “And some chicken tenders as well, because I was craving.”

Nodding, he grabbed a chicken tender and took a bite of it to which she gasped, “Andy! Couldn’t even wait a few more minutes!” The taller man could only sheepishly smile with his mouth full of chicken, “Sorry ‘bout that, want me to set the table?”

“Please do. Oh and I noticed you had a certain beer in the fridge so I hope you don’t mind I bought you a pack?” As she mentioned that he did see a new, unopened pack next to the single beer he had left inside the fridge. “Thanks for that; red wine your poison?” He inquired since he noticed a wine bottle he surely never bought. Seeing her nod, he asked if she wanted a glass to which she said yes to. In the next few minutes a comfortable silence engulfed them as they both were focused on preparing their first meal together.

Once everything was put in place they both sat across each other, Y/N placed her hands under her chin and looked at Andy with an excited look in her eyes, the man raised his brow at her, asking her nonverbally what she was looking at him for. “Go ahead, try it,” she softly encouraged him to which he nodded and swirled his fork around the pasta which the white sauce had already clung into and opened his mouth to taste.

“It’s good,” he complimented her as he swallowed, “Better than anything I’ve eaten in the past few months.” She clapped her hands and started to eat as well. “I was surprised to see your lack of groceries.”

He waited until his mouth was empty from eating the garlic bread she had before explaining, “Don’t really cook a lot; survived off takeout recently.” Despite having her mouth full with a tender, a loud shock was emitted from the woman across and Andy lightly cuckold at how adorable her reaction was.

“Lucky for you, I love to cook so you won’t be filling yourself up with that junk,” she assured him as she drank from her glass of wine. Setting his fork down he looked at her skeptical, “What brings you to Newton anyway?”

Her hands tore the garlic bread as she gulped down her drink, “Just finished college then found a job here so there’s that.”

“Which program did you take?” He wondered; not knowing if it was his curiosity about someone living in his house or it was the lawyer in him couldn’t help but question everything.

“Took a few years off after high school to know what I really wanted to do; then just took a two year course,” she further explained as she told him which degree she chose. Somehow her answer just had Andy even more interested so he pried, “Why not get a full degree?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “Didn’t want to waste four years of my life.”

“Would four years really be wasted if you spent it studying something you’re interested in?” he retorted back as he took a swig of his beer.

“Touché,” she acknowledged as she gobbled some pasta, “But I don’t know, I just feel like the time I’m spending on studying would be better spent if I was actually doing something I want. Get a job I wanna do. Visit every state in the country. Get a house with a pool. You know, just do things that make me happy without having any regrets”

As she listed off the things she desired in life, a solemn expression graced Andy’s face. Her perspective did make him think about how he lived his own life as well. Perhaps how there were certain choices that did make him happy and somehow there were regrets lingering in his mind. “And have you done any of those?”

“Well obviously I don’t have a house,” she joked as she waved her hand around Andy’s home, “But I did get a job here that I think I’ll enjoy, an 8-5 kind,” she paused for a while to gulp down more of the red wine she bought, “What about you?”

“What about me “ he questioned back as he looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. She rolled her eyes jokingly, “What’s your story, I guess? What brought you here in Newton?”

Her naivety had him questioning whether or not she knew the whole ordeal that his family went through; but he spared her of the full details, maybe next time or once he felt like he could fully trust her he’d tell her everything. “Had family here with me, but not anymore,” her eyes widened in shock with what he revealed but he was quick to reassure her, “I'm divorced now, ex-wife has full custody of our son. Used to be an assistant district attorney, now I’m just in private practice for civil litigation cases.”

Somehow, Andy felt a weight unload once he told her about him. Though granted it wasn’t the whole thing, but having someone to talk did make him feel lighter, more human. Y/N, on the other hand, felt amazed with how Andy chose to carry on despite what he’s been through. She got the feeling there was more to it than what he let on; and pity was not what she felt but more of feeling happy with how he did not give up and instead keep on going.

Holding her glass she raised it, “Here’s to new beginnings and being single then,” she toasted. Smiling, he raised his beer bottle and brought it to touch against her glass, “To new beginnings and being single.” The two then proceeded to finish the rest of their meal in silence.

The sun was shining bright that Monday morning and Andy woke up early to head down to their basement and do his morning exercise. Thirty minutes into it, he could sense that Y/N had woken up not only due to her footsteps he heard, but also because he could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen.

As he finished his workout, he headed up to his room to take a quick shower and dress up for his work. Granted it might have been too early to do all those but the smell of the food and the company of which he’d be eating breakfast enticed him to do so. Heading down, he was dressed in his full lawyer gear, minus the jacket, and smiled as he saw Y/N eating the rest of her pancakes by the breakfast bar.

“Morning Andy,” she greeted him, “There’s a fresh pot of coffee if you’d like,” she pointed to where she had just gotten a cup for herself as well. “Thank you,” he then moved to get himself a cup and once he did he took note of a plate that had a couple of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

Pointing to it he accused her, “It’s as if you want me to waste the workout I just did huh.” She threw her head back in laughter at what he said while shaking his head to tell him that it wasn’t her intention. Glancing down on her wrist watch she mumbled a soft, “Shit,” upon noticing the time. Stacking her mug on the plate she moved to the sink where Andy grabbed the cutlery and utensils from her, “Let me do it and go ahead.”

Placing a hand on his forearm — in which they both felt relaxed and warm at their first touch — she thanked him for doing so and grabbed her bag that she placed on the couch. “Good luck on your first day,” Andy called out as he began munching on his own food. She yelled a quick thanks and see you as she closed the door behind her. Staring down on his plate, he smiled again upon seeing how the food in his plate resembled a smiley face; She really is something, he thought to himself.

The rest of the week flew by and both Andy and Y/N spent the week almost doing everything together. The former would wake up early and get his workout down; and sometime during the 45 minutes he’d spend on the basement the latter would take that time to prepare herself for the day ahead as well as the most important meal for their day. And if there were leftovers from the night before or that she had made too much for breakfast and was able to whip it into something for lunch, then she packed those not only for her, but for Andy as well.

And their routine together did not just stop there it bled into the night as well. Where it was always Y/N who came home first. After taking a bath either she’d start cooking supper or she would clean around the house a little — she noticed how Andy’s office area was frequently messy and she did her best to fix the mess without being too intrusive about it. She never step foot in his room, wanting him to have his privacy, but from what she could see he kept it organized despite having a few trash here and there, so she didn’t really loiter in that area of the house.

In hindsight, Y/N didn’t have to cook and clean for Andy. But with how low her rent was she felt that it was only fair to do so. Plus there was a part of her that somehow liked being around him, having someone to talk to about everything and anything they both could think of. There was never really a dull conversation between them.

Friday night arrived and instead of cooking another meal Y/N decided to get a pizza, wings, and another pack of beer for Andy. As she was in the liquor portion of the grocery she bumped into one of their neighbors, Joan RIfkin, whom she also recognized as one of the friends of her workmate.

“Y/N, right?” the woman asked as she looked at her with concern. “Yeah, that’s me. We met through Emily, when you helped her get to work,” Y/N recalled, both for her and Joan.

“Is it true that you live with Andy?” her question had Y/N wondering, how the hell did she know that? Despite that thought she nodded, “Room was cheap so I thought why not?”

Her nervous chuckle could not ease the tension between the two ladies; especially when Joan gave her a stern look as she warned her, “Be careful, okay? The Barber’s caused quite a ruckus and Andy is quite unpredictable.”

As Joan walked away while pushing her cart, Y/N was left confused and conflicted. The new information presented to her, though it was vague, left her puzzled about whether or not it was true. She was also unsure about the need to clarify with Andy what she has just been told.

Once his car was parked in the garage, Andy loosened his tie and entered the house. What greeted him was not the sight of Y/N cooking but her sitting on the couch while scrolling through her phone. Placed in the coffee table was a pizza box, his usual beer, a glass of wine, and box of chicken wings as well as a couple of paper plates.

“Didn’t feel like cooking today huh?” he jeered as he placed a hand on his hip, the other hand holding his briefcase for work. Diverting her eyes from her phone to the man in front she grinned at him, “No, but I felt like having pizza. Maybe we could watch a movie while eating?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll go change quickly,” he told her and she nodded. Andy then went up the stairs, taking two steps at a time to do so. Somehow there was this part of him that was incredibly excited at the thought of being physically close with Y/N. but he just shook his head at the thought and claimed that he was just excited to unwind the week’s stress with food, beer, and a movie.

Heading down after he dressed in more comfortable clothes he asked, “Alright, what are we watching?” Y/N shrugged as she moved to open the box of pizza, “Want a slice?” Andy nodded as he grabbed the remote and thanked her, “You heard about the hippie who burnt his mouth on the pizza?”

While holding a pizza slice of her own she looked at him and tilted her head to the side, her face being a combination of confusion and curiosity, one that Andy found charming. The bearded man had his face in faux seriousness as he continued, “He ate it before it was considered cool.”

Upon realizing the joke, Y/N let out a few giggles — real giggles, Any took note. “Okay not gonna lie, that was good,” she took a bite, “ Haven’t heard that one before.” Saying that made Andy feel proud, somehow his lame dad jokes made this brilliant woman laugh. “You wanna watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off?”

She nodded at his suggestion, “Yeah why not? Haven’t watched that in a while.” And so they both began to watch it as they ate and drank.

As they watched the film their occasional laughs were the only sound emitted from the two. As Andy was grabbing for a few slices or chicken wings, he found himself scooting closer beside Y/N, who didn’t really mind it and instead found having him close was comforting. The wartm that seeped past his clothed thigh and on to her bare skin as she was only wearing shorts made her feel safe. And somehow Andy’s arm found itself draped across the couch, almost touching Y/N’s shoulders, his fingers almost touching her. When she did move to drink her wine her skin touched the tips of his fingers rested on her shoulders and Andy who drank some of his beer as well looked alarmed.

“I’m sorry, I can move away if you’d like,” he said as he began to remove his hand from where it was comfortable in her shoulder. “No, it’s fine,” she assured him a little too quickly, “I mean, I don’t really mind. I’m not the type of person who hates hugging so I don’t really mind at all.”

She couldn’t prevent herself from physically cringing with what she said and how stupid it must have soounded like; but the man beside her didn’t think so based on his eyes crinkled in laughter. His arm then dropped from being on her shoulders and settled itself on her waist and pulled him as close as they could be sitting beside, “Well I hope you won’t mind if I do this then?”

She felt herself flutter with how smooth the man was and just silently assured him by placing her head against his shoulder, both turning their attention back to the movie.

As the end credits rolled, they both were full and were just now finishing up the last of the drinks. Y/N fiddled with her fingers as she had an internal debate about whether or not she should bring up her conversation with Joan earlier.

“You alright, Y/N?” Andy noticed how her actions might have indicated how she was nervous, a complete opposite to how she was earlier. Setting down his empty bottle on the coffee table, he turned to her and grasped both her hands in his, loving the feel of her soft hands against his calloused ones.

“It’s just, there’s something I need to ask,” she sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if it would have helped her say it better, “No, not really ask, but tell you. I don't know.” Her hesitation and uncertainty was something Andy easily sensed and he did his best to calm her down by rubbing their hands together and telling her she could tell him anything.

“So after work, I headed to the grocery to grab your beer, right? Then I saw Joan there, I don’t know her surname though. Anyway, she warned me to be careful of you because you’re unpredictable and that your family had caused a ruckus?” She ended her encounter with the woman by looking up at Andy, and the latter was surprised that there was no disgust in her tone and facial expressions; but more of worry? As if she was worried that rumors were spreading around about him and his family.

He stopped rubbing her hands and instead settled with fiddling with them, “I think it’s best if you found out now,” he began before taking a deep breath, “Almost two years ago, Ben Rifkin, a fourteen year old boy, died. At the time I was the assistant district attorney and was assigned to investigate. When fingerprints of my son, Jacob, were found in the body everyone assumed he did it.”

“Did he?” Y/N question when she noticed it took Andy sometime to continue with his story. Shaking his head no he picked up where he left off the story, “He didn’t, his fingerprints were there because he just saw the body, panicked and didn’t call the police. A man who had a record for groping and stalking kids did it. But Joan, Ben’s mom was still convinced that Jacob had something to do with her son’s death even after it was proved that he didn’t.”

“I’m sorry about that Andy, she has no right to name you and your family those things,” Y/N was quick to comfort him. But he only chuckled sadly, “Does she not?” She could feel that there was more Andy wanted to say so she remained silent, “During the trial and investigation, they were fully convinced Jacob did it because of me, of my father.”

He said those three words with so much hate and disdain, “My estranged father, rather, he raped and killed some student many years ago. Now he’s serving a life sentence for it. They claimed that I had this murder gene and somehow Jacob got it too, hence why he killed Ben.”

After hearing his explanation, Y/N now understood why Joan claimed Andy was unpredictable. She also empathize with the mother who lost her son and understood why she felt this indifference towards the Barbers; but she still believed that maybe Joan would someday accept that the what they’ve been believing — that Jacob had any involvement for her son’s death — is nothing but mere suspicion that was proved false.

“I mean, I understand why she holds this sort of grudge against you or your family,” Andy’s heart dropped at what Y/N said and loosened his grip on her hands, prepared to hear her say how she wanted to leave his house that somewhat felt like home ever since she came, “But it’ll take time for her to accept the truth and disregard the suspicion she had. I believe in what you say and do think that you are harmless.”

Her statement had Andy looking up from where he was staring at their hands and looked up at her with relief in his face, “What?” He could not help but sound meek as he asked so; but he felt the opposite, he felt empowered and invincible upon knowing that there was someone on his side for once.

Deciding to do something risky, Y/N leaned forward to plant a gentle and comforting kiss on Andy’s forehead, “What happened to Joan’s son was horrible, yes. But if you say, and an investigation says your son had nothing to do with it, then I believe it. And murder gene? The only thing that a gene can pass down to us is sickness,” she joked, hoping to lighten up the atmosphere and was pleased to see how Andy laughed softly at it,”You’re not what your father did, okay? The only way to define you is through what you say, think, and do.”

Andy smiled as he stared at her lovingly, “And if I think and tell you that you’re such a beautiful person, inside and out, and that it's been great having you here live with me?” She laughed as she rested her cheek against her hand and sassed at him, “I’d call bullshit ‘cause you probably used that line with your wife.”

He just rolled his eyes as he moved her around so she could comfortably lay her head against his chest as he wrapped his muscular arms around her frame. “Well then I’m just gonna have to do my best to prove it to you the entire time you’re here then.”

Turning her head so she could face him, “Well joke’s on you, I plan to be here for quite a long time.” The butterflies in Andy’s stomach then went wild at what she said, but his composure allowed him to answer back with, “I don’t mind that at all, honey.”

Laying a kiss on her forehead, he then teased her about the grin she had on her face and two then talked the rest of the night away.

part two

#quietmyfearswith #My writing #andy barber angst #andy barber x reader #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber fanfic #andy barber x you #andy barber fluff #andy barber smut #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction

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bellaireland1981 · 4 years

Text

New Beginnings: CH 6

Characters: Andy Barber x Single Mom! Briella James (Named Reader), Jacob Barber, Ava James

Summary: Briella James is a HS teacher and has Jacob in her class. Jacob meets Briella’s 5 year old daughter and they form a bond. Andy is interested in Briella but her ex (and Ava’s dad) is becoming a problem!

Warnings: Mostly fluff, some angst, jerk of an ex that harasses Briella, kissing… will update in future chapters.

Word Count: 4084

A/N: I do Not own Andy Barber or Jacob Barber, they are fictional characters. I do not give permission for anyone to repost my work or translate it to another site. Reblogs always welcome! This is my FIRST EVER attempt at writing for Andy…or any character, so be gentle! THANK YOU to my friends for supporting me and encouraging me! I’m my own worst critic so I love their feedback! @denisemarieangelina @fluffymisha97 @jamielea81

Chapter 5

Thankfully the rest of the week went pretty quickly. Friday morning, Ava was a ball of excited energy for dinner with Andy and Jacob. She wasn’t the only one. You couldn’t wait either.

Unfortunately, throughout the day you were inundated with texts and calls from your ex, which set you on edge. You managed to make it to your lunch before you broke down and actually called Andy. You planned to just leave a voicemail, as you were sure he was busy. You were happily surprised when he picked up.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said, “Are you on lunch? How’s your day going?”

“Yeah.” You said, “It’s much better now that I’m talking to you. I was just going to leave you a voicemail, but this is much better.”

“Everything ok?” He asked, concerned, “And unless I’m in court, I’ll always answer for you.”

“I’ve been getting a lot of texts and calls today from the ex.” You replied, shakily, “It’s just getting to me. It’s exhausting.”

“Forward me the messages,” he said, “I promise you, this will be over soon. In the meantime, we have tonight and tomorrow night together to look forward to.”

“That’s what’s getting me through.” You replied, “I can’t wait to see you. Ava is beyond excited as well.”

“Only a few more hours.” He said, “I can’t wait to see you and Ava either. How about you both come over at 4:30. Gives you time to get her picked up and I’ll leave work early and meet you at my house.”

“Sounds perfect.” You agreed. “I’ll let you get back to work, and I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon.” He said, “And you can call me whenever you need to.”

The rest of the day went smoother. The calls and texts tapered down so you were at least able to focus. Once your last class was finished, you wrapped up some last minute emails to parents, then shut your laptop, grabbed your stuff and headed out of the building.

You got Ava picked up from school and headed home to change before going to Andy’s. Ava insisted on wearing her Elsa pajamas, even though you repeatedly told her it was not a sleepover. One thing you were sure of, the child was headstrong. You changed into jeans and a lighter weight sweater. It was starting to get cooler, especially at night.

You arrived at Andy’s and parked behind his black Audi. Getting out of your car, you made your way around to get Ava out and the two of you walked up to the front door. Andy was already there waiting with the door open, smiling at the two of you.

“Hi Andy!” Ava exclaimed, bounding up the step and throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, smiling at you over her head.

“Hey, Princess.” He said, “I hope you’re hungry. We’ve got lots of pizza on the way, and enough snacks to rival the movie theater.”

“I’m starving.” she confirmed, beaming up at Andy. “Where’s Jacob?”

“Right here” He said, coming up behind his dad. “Come on, let’s steak out the best seats for the movie.” Jacob reaches for Ava’s hand, helping her into the house.

“Hey, Beautiful.” Andy said smiling at you, “Come here.” He gently pulled you up the step into the house and into his arms. You felt your whole body relax into his embrace. The stress of the week and everything with your ex melting away.

“That was exactly what I needed.” you said smiling up at him, “Thank you.”

“If I’m being honest, I needed it too,” He replied, “It was a long day. I was more than happy to leave it all behind. Come on, let’s go inside, I’ve got wine or beer. You’ve earned it.”

Andy led you into the house and to the kitchen. It was a very nice house from what you saw of it so far. It was definitely larger than yours. Surprisingly, it looked very homey, not the bachelor pad you were expecting with two males living there. Jacob and Ava were seated in what looked like oversized bean bag chairs on the living room floor flipping through Disney+, deciding on which movie to watch. It was cute that Jacob was patiently flipping through them all, even though everyone knew the choice would be Frozen.

You’d decided beer sounded better for the evening, especially with pizza coming. You and Andy sat at the island in the kitchen sipping your beer, enjoying each other’s company while you waited for dinner to arrive.

“I wasn’t sure where you’d like to go tomorrow night, but some of the other lawyers at the firm suggested the new sushi and steak restaurant KoFusion. I made reservations but we can always go somewhere else if you’d prefer.” Andy said, taking a sip of his beer.

“That sounds perfect.” You replied, smiling. “I’ve actually been wanting to try it, but Ava isn’t really open to trying sushi or steak.”

“I don’t think I would have been much for them either at her age.” He laughed, “Jake may eat steak now, but I doubt I’d ever get him to try sushi.”

“I was planning on making them a mini taco bar for dinner.” You said, “It’s easy to make.”

“I know Jake loves tacos so he’ll be happy.” He replies.

The doorbell rang, signaling dinner’s arrival. Andy grabbed the pizza and paid the delivery person, bringing the pizza back to the kitchen. We loaded up plates for everyone, grabbed drinks for the kids and brought it all to the living room.

“We’re going to watch Frozen!” Ava declared, “Jacob said they haven’t seen it yet!”

“We were just hoping to get to watch it with you, Princess Ava.” Andy said smiling and winking at Ava, while handing Jacob his pizza.

“Be careful, Monkey.” I told her, handing her a plate.

“Mommy, I want a Princess party this year for my birthday!” Ava said, “And I want Jacob and Andy to come to my party!”

“When is your birthday, Ava?” Jacob asked.

“November 6th!” Ava said excitedly, “And guess WHAT?”

“What?” Jacob humored her smiling.

“I’ll be 6 years old!” She replied, “Mommy said it’s special because it’s my golden birthday!”

“That is very special, Ava!” Andy said, “We’d love to come to your extra special princess party.”

“We’ll go get the invitations next week and fill them out so you can pass them out to your friends.” You told her, “

Jacob starte the movie and we all watched while eating our dinner. Once everyone was finished, you stacked the plates on the coffee table until the movie was over. Andy scooted closer to you on the couch, pulling you into him. His arm was round you and relaxed against him, enjoying just being with him.

Halfway through the movie, Andy paused it and declared it was ice cream sundae time. Everyone went to the kitchen and built their own sundae before carrying it back to the living room to resume the movie.

After the movie was over you helped Andy to carry all of the dishes to the kitchen. You offered to help him with the dishes but he said he’d have Jacob help later. Ava was starting to get sleepy, so you got her tucked into the car and said goodnight to both Andy and Jacob. You were definitely looking forward to your date the next night.

“Drive safe and text me when you get home.” Andy said leaning in to kiss you gently through the driver’s side window.

“I promise” you replied, smiling.

By the time you got home, Ava was fast asleep. It was a good thing she’d worn her pajamas afterall. You didn’t want to wake her enough to brush her teeth, you figured one night wouldn’t hurt. Thankfully, she was still light enough you were able to carry her into the house and get her tucked into her bed. Once you finished that you text Andy to let him know you made it home. You exchanged a few more texts back and forth and then you too, decided to call it a night.

You spend most of Saturday getting errands run and household chores you’d neglected over the week completed. Ava spent a few hours with your parents while you got everything done. They were used to getting to spend time together on the weekends. Later afternoon you swung by to pick her up so that you could go home and get ready for your date.

“She’s welcome to spend the night here if you want, Sweetheart.” Your mom said, “That way you don’t have to rush home from your date.”

“Jacob is coming to the house to hang out with her while Andy and I go out.” You replied, “Those two are thick as thieves already.”

“All we heard about today was Jacob and Andy.” Your mom said smiling, “I can’t wait to meet them. Just be careful, Bri. I’d hate for Ava to get attached just to get her heart broken. You too for that matter.”

“I wouldn’t let her get attached if I wasn’t sure about this, Momma.” You reassure her, “I know it seems fast, and really, it is, but the connection is there… and it’s strong. Wait until you meet them, you’ll see.”

“How about you bring them over Sunday for a family dinner.” Your mom suggests.

“I can ask him.” You replied, “If this Sunday doesn’t work, we can always schedule for next week.”

“Just let me know.” she said.

Ava came in with her jacket already on, bouncing in excitement.

“Come on Mommy! Andy and Jacob are coming over soon!” She said. She ran and gave your parents hugs, “Bye Nana and Papa! I love you!”

“I’ve ever seen her in such a hurry to leave us before.” Your dad pouted, “We’ve got competition now, Honey.”

“That we do.” Your mom laughed, “Have fun tonight Baby doll! You can tell me all about your fun night with Jacob tomorrow, ok?”

“I will! And Mommy can tell you about her date with Andy!”

“I can’t wait.” Your mom said, winking at you.

“Love you both” You said, “I’ll call you about dinner.”

“Have fun, Sweetheart,” She said,”I’m really happy you’re getting back out there.”

Ava was already in her seat and buckled when you got to the car. On the ride home you glanced in the rearview mirror to look at Ava and noticed the same car had been behind you for several blocks. You shrugged figuring it was nothing and continued on your way home.

Once you pulled into your driveway and parked, you got Ava out and the two of you headed inside. She immediately started setting up the living room for a movie and game night. Poor Jacob would be kept busy for sure.

You decided it made more sense to get the taco meat cooked up and veggies chopped before getting ready, so you got to work on that while Ava was setting up the living room. She finished before you and came into the kitchen while you were getting everything ready.

“Mommy, can I have a snack?” She asked.

“There are apple slices and grapes in the fridge,”You told her, “Grab a bowl and you can put some fruit in it.”

“OK!” She carefully grabbed one of her bowls from the cupboard on the island and went to the fridge.

Twenty minutes later, all of the food was prepped and the taco meat was finished. You settled Ava on your bed with her tablet geared up to one of her learning games and you started looking through your closet to decide what to wear.

“Mommy,” Ava said looking up from her tablet, “You should wear the pretty blue dress you wore to Nana and Papa’s party. Andy wears blue lots, I think it’s his favorite.”

“You think so?” You asked, smiling, “I like that dress a lot too. I think I will wear it! Thank you my sweet Monkey!”

She beamed then went back to playing her game as you quickly changed into the dress. It was a short sleeved, chiffon fit and flare dress, simple yet elegant. Most importantly, it was comfortable so you wouldn’t be readjusting it all night. You chose the diamond pendant necklace your parents gave you when you graduated college, and a pair of silver drop earrings to match. Once you were dressed, you went into your bathroom and did your makeup. You decided to leave your hair down, but quickly took the curling iron to it give it a little bounce. Finally you were as ready as you were going to get.

Satisfied with the end result, you finally stepped out of the bathroom.

“You look pretty, Mommy!” Ava said, “Is it almost time for Jacob to come?”

“Almost!” You confirmed, “And thank you, Monkey. Let’s go downstairs, I need to check my phone.”

Ava made herself comfortable on the couch, while you went to your phone. You had several messages from your ex. You chose to ignore them for now. You didn’t want anything to ruin the night with Andy. You had one message from Andy, which you tapped to open.

Andy: We’re leaving now, be there shortly. See you soon. XX

You checked the time stamp and the current time and realized they’d be here any minute.

“Mommy! They’re HERE!” Ava exclaimed, launching herself off of the chair by the window where she’d apparently taken up watch.

“Give them a moment to get to the door, Monkey” You laughed, “Don’t go flying out of the house.”

You started to head to the door to open, but Ava flew past and beat you to the door. She remembered to look back and check that it was OK for her to open the door. Once you’d given permission she quickly pulled the door open. Andy and Jacob were just getting to the door.

“Hi Jacob!” she greeted him, happily, before launching herself at him to hug him. Jacob chuckled, bending down a bit to hug her back.

“Hey Ava!” He replied, “Ready to watch movies, eat junk food and stay up past your bedtime?”

“YES!” She confirmed, “Can you always be my babysitter? Not even Nana and Papa let me do all that!”

“I’m not sure you’re supposed to reveal your master plan while the parents are present, Jake.” Andy laughed.

“Hi Andy!” Ava said, breaking away from Jacob to hug him, then looking at the button up dress shirt he wore, added, “I knew blue was your favorite color! I told Mommy to wear the blue dress because she would be pretty and it was your favorite color!”

“Blue is my favorite color,” He confirmed smiling at her, then looking up at you, he said, “And your mommy looks beautiful.”

“Told you, Mommy!” Ava beamed, happy having helped you out.

“You did tell me, Monkey.” You replied smiling, then to Andy said, “You’re looking pretty handsome yourself.”

“Ok, Ava,” Jacob said, playfully rolling his eyes, “Let’s get away from these two.” The pair headed into the living room, Ava already chatting a mile a minute.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” Andy smiled, stepping into the house, and closing the door. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close and dropping a quick kiss onto your lips.

“Hi.” You replied, smiling up at him, “Looks like we’ve learned how to clear the kids out of a room.”

“That’s going to be a handy skill to have.” He agreed, laughing. You both made your way into the living room where the kids were.

“Ok, the tacos are all ready to go, although you may want to reheat the meat. There are drinks in the fridge. Ava knows where all of the snacks are. Just make sure she isn’t bouncing off the walls from too much sugar.” You laugh, “There are emergency numbers on the fridge. If you need anything, just call or text.”

“We’ll be fine” Jacob assured you, “I’ve got this. You guys go have fun and don’t worry. We’ll be having too much fun here to even miss you.”

“I’m feeling the love here.” You teased him. “I know you’ll be fine, I’m not worried in the slightest.”

After hugging them both, they pretty much shoved you and Andy out of the house.

Once you arrived at the restaurant, Andy quickly came around and opened your door. He held your hand as the two of you made your way into the restaurant, only separating for him to open the door and then his hand landed on your back, gently guiding you into the building. Once inside, he took your hand in his own again.

You were seated at a semi-private table toward the back of the restaurant. Your waiter took your orders for drinks and then left you to look over the menu.

“This all looks amazing.” You said, “How is anyone supposed to make a decision?”

“I was thinking the same thing” he laughed, “How about we get a variety and we can try it all?”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” You agreed.

The waiter returned with your drinks and you placed your orders. You took a sip of the wine to help calm your nerves. You weren’t nervous around Andy, just being on a date after not dating for over 5 years was causing a little anxiety.

“I haven’t been on a first date since college.” Andy said, as if reading your thoughts. “I have to say, this one is already far better.”

“I haven’t been on any date of any kind since before Ava was born.” You replied, “But I can say with certainty that this one is already better than any date I’d been on before that.”

“Here’s to many more dates together.” Andy said, raising his glass to you. You raised yours toasting.

“And possibly to last first dates.” You said, smiling.

“I’ll definitely drink to that.” He agreed, smiling back at you.

“Ava spent the morning with my parents while I was running errands and according to them she didn’t stop talking about you and Jacob.” You told him. “They offered to keep her tonight but she wasn’t trying to miss out on time with Jacob.”

“I think Jake would have been bummed to miss out on time with Ava too.” Andy said, “I think he really likes having someone look up to him.”

“They’re good for each other.” You agreed, “My mom invited you and Jacob to dinner tomorrow, I told her I’d pass along the invite. It feels weird to say that on a first date. You don’t have to accept, I know it’s really soon.”

“We’d love to.” Andy reassured you, “It might be soon by others’ standards, but I’ve had enough of living by others’ standards. I think we just need to do this our own way.”

“I like the sound of that.” You agree, “We can make our own standard.”

The waiter brought the dishes to the table. You and Andy enjoyed the variety of sushi, trying different kinds. Conversation continued to flow during dinner. It honestly felt like you’d been on many dates by the time you were finished eating.

“I don’t think our kids want us home yet, and I’m not ready for this date to end.” Andy said, “Do you want to go for a walk by the lake?”

“I’d love to.” You said, “I’m not ready to go home yet either.”

After paying the bill, Andy leads you out to where the car is parked. He opens your door for you, and you slide into the passenger seat. He quickly walks around to the driver’s side and gets in. The drive to the lake doesn’t take long and being pretty deserted, it’s easy to find parking. Andy once again comes around to open your door and offers his hand to help you out of the car.

You’re glad you thought to grab the lightweight sweater to wear with your dress. It provides enough cover to where you’re not going to get cold while enjoying time with Andy.

You make your way to the path that leads along the lake, Andy taking your hand in his, your fingers intertwining.

“I’m really enjoying the milder fall weather this year.” You said, “It’s been really nice to be able to be outside longer. I’m hoping it holds through Ava’s birthday before it gets cold.”

“I imagine it would be easier to hold the party outside as opposed to all of those kids inside the house.” He chuckled, “I’ve really loved the weather being so mild too. It allows me to go for walks by a lake with a beautiful woman.”

“Smooth, Mr. Barber.” You laughed, “And yes, holding the party outside would be much less of a headache.”

“I’m only stating facts, Sweetheart.” He smirked, “And whether the party is inside or out, Jake and I can help wrangle kids.”

“That would be most helpful.” You said, smiling.

The two of you continued to walk along the path, stopping when you arrived at a pier. Andy led you to the end where there was a bench and you both sat down, close to one another. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you in close, and you relaxed into his side.

“I haven’t been this happy or relaxed in a long time.” Andy admitted. “Even before everything exploded with Jake and then after...with the accident… I wasn’t happy. I was trying. I wanted to be happy and to want the life we had, but it felt too forced. I can’t remember the last time I was happy. Meeting you and getting to know you better, has changed everything. I don’t know if I deserve to be happy, but I’m going to hold on to this.”

“You deserve to be happy, Andy.” You said, turning slightly so you could look into his eyes. “I thought I was happy with my ex, I thought I wanted to marry him, but once he walked out when I got pregnant, I realized that I wasn’t actually happy with him. I don’t know that I ever really loved him. Being with you though, makes me happy.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, his head lowering to yours. His lips connected with your own, his beard rubbing against your face. His tongue licked at the seam of your lips, asking for entry. You allowed him access, your own tongue snaking out to meet his. The kiss deepened, he pulled you closer into him, your arms wound around his middle. You continued to kiss until you finally had to break apart for air. His hand stayed cupping your face, his thumb brushing against your kiss swollen lips.

“Maybe we should have had your parents keep Ava,” Andy teased, his voice husky, “We could have continued this without a curfew.”

“Maybe next time,” You smiled, “Depriving Ava of Jacob wouldn’t have won you any points.”

“I wouldn’t want that.” He agreed, “I need her on my side.”

“I think you’re good on that front.” You assured him.

“As much as I would love to stay out here with you, we should probably start to head back.” Andy said, reluctantly.

“We probably should.” You agreed.

You walked back towards his car hand in hand. On the drive back to your house, Andy kept your hand in his own, driving one handed.

Once you arrived back at your house, Andy parked and came around to you. This time when he helped you out of the car, he pulled you into him and kissed you again.

“I can definitely get used to that.” You said, smiling.

“Me too.” He said. “Shall we head in to see what the kids are up to?”

You nodded, turning to head to the front door. As you turned, movement caught your eye on the street. You turned your head to investigate and felt your stomach drop. In the street light, you were able to see the same car that you’d thought had been following you yesterday. With the light, you were able to see the driver.

“Andy” You said shakily, “It’s him. That’s my ex in the car.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, turning quickly to see the driver before he drove off down the street.

“Yes.” You confirmed, “I think he followed me yesterday too.”

“Let’s go inside.” He said, guiding you up to the door.

@nickysurfer28 @waywardodysseys @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss

#andy barber fanfiction #andy barber x oc #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans

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socalwriterbee · 3 years

Text

Confessions Part 3

Catch up on Confessions

Part 1 Part 2

Book: The Nanny Affair

Characters: Marie Castro (MC) x Jordan Le x Sam Dalton

Rating/Warning: Teen, Angst, Some Adult Language

Word Count: 1,660

Characters Belong to Pixelberry

“It’s not something you want, it’s something I need.”

Sam’s words kept playing over and over again. Marie had watched Sam disappear behind the elevator doors, with an expression she can only describe as cowardly. Whatever they had was gone. Gone all because of a kiss. What kiss ended their relationship? Was it hers with Jordan or was it Sam’s with Lana, like Jordan had confessed to her.

“It’s not something you want, it’s something I need.”

He was leaving, without a fight. His promises of their relationship worth fighting for were all a lie. The quietness of the lab was deafening, everything her and Sam went through kept appearing in her head. The laughter shared, the arguments, the moments they spent in each other’s arms, it was all gone just like that. It wasn’t worth fighting for.

Marie didn’t remember how she made it back to the lab, it had gone by as a blur. Space, it was something he needed. Space. Their relationship was still in the dark to the world, a secret they couldn’t share and now there was nothing to share. Now, she was just the woman who spared Sam from marrying Sofia.

Tears began streaming down her face, the droplets landing on reports sitting on her desk. Her sobs slowly becoming uncontrollable.

“I’m just a fool, How could I possibly think he would want forever with me.” She tells herself, wiping away the tears that keep falling down her face.

She laughed at her situation, one she agreed to. She wanted anything and everything to with Sam, she foolishly fell in love with a man who kept their relationship in the dark. A man who hired a publicists to fool the world on how they met and fell for each other.

Sam had done all that because he didn’t want history repeating itself with her, wanting to protect her from the things he couldn’t protect Addison from. What she should have been protecting herself from was Sam. She had thrown caution to the wind in accepting the position at Dalton Labs without letting anyone know. Putting what she and Sam had accomplished at risk, but she didn’t regret it, if given the chance she would do it again. Because she believed that their love would be strong enough to handle whatever came their way.

Taking a deep breath, she was determined to come out of this ahead. It was her who impressed Evan in the interview, she earned this job. Hell, she even impressed Sofia. She was doing her best in helping the environmental lab succeed, even if after it all, it meant Sofia becoming CEO over Sam. She would work hard to prove to everyone who doubted her and just saw her as a nanny wrong. Packing her things to call it a day, Marie stood a bit straighter with renewed vigor and made her way out of Dalton Labs.

****

Letting out an exhausted breath, it had sounded like a great idea to walk home but halfway through the busy, noisy, chilly streets of New York she began to regret that idea. Pulling her jacket a bit closer to her body as the cold wind nips at her exposed skin, a familiar face catches her eye through the glass doors of the lobby.

“What are you doing here? Haven’t you caused enough damage.” Marie grits through her teeth.

“I came to apologize.” Jordan smiles at her, lifting a pizza box. “I come with a peace offering.”

“You can’t expect me to forgive you just like that.”

But the smell of greasy, delicious pizza wafts in the air, making her stomach growl.

“Please?” He gives her the saddest eyes that he can possible muster. “I think you could some food. It must have been hours since you last ate.”

Every possible reason that she should say no comes in a rush “I..uh..yeah..Ok.” Marie says against better judgement.

“I’m not inviting you up because I’ve forgiven you, but you did bring a pie from my favorite place. The least I can do is hear you out.”

A sincere wide smile spreads across his face, his eyes light up with hope. “I’ll take it.”

They step into the elevator together, Jordan watches as Marie passes her card to access the penthouse. The ride and walk to her apartment is complete silence. After unlocking the door and stepping inside she locks the door behind them.

“Make yourself at home. There are drinks in the fridge. I’ll be right back.” Marie tells him, making her way to her bedroom kicking off her heels.

After changing into an oversized t-shirt, one she had taken from Sam once upon a time, and black shorts. She didn’t want to give Jordan a wrong impression, Marie made her way back to the main room of her apartment, where Jordan had already set up everything for them to enjoy the pie he brought.

“That smells delicious.” She smiles, taking a plate from Jordan and grabs a slice.

“I’m happy that I could bring a smile out. You should always be smiling.”

“The smile comes from having food. Don’t take too much credit.”

“Right. Sorry.” He says as he takes a bite. “Oh my god.. I can see why this is your favorite.” He follows with a mouth full.

Marie chuckles at the facial expressions Jordan makes as they continue enjoying their dinner and swapping stories of pranks, experiments and everything in between that Mason and Mickey have done and gotten into.

“I can’t believe they tried the syrup experiment in your shampoo too.”

“I’m pretty sure it had the same result.”

“A sticky mess!” They say in unison.

“I still can’t compete with you. It’s always Marie was so fun or Marie would do this.” Jordan tells her with a soft look on his face, not of jealousy but she knew it was something more he wanted.

“Jordan, you shouldn’t compete to recreate with what I had with them. They love having you as their nanny. You should know that they talk about all the cool and fun stuff you do with them.” She tells him, reaching for his hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, well. I’m probably out of a job anyway. After what happened. Sam won’t keep me after I kissed his girlfriend.”

She doesn’t correct him about being Sam’s girlfriend, Marie begins to pick up the plates they used. Walking towards the sink, she places them down and turns to face Jordan, her back pressing against the marble counter. Everything that happened today comes flashing back, Jordan’s kiss, Sam walking in on them, Jordan’s accusation of Sam being with Lana. And the one that hurt the most, Sam leaving, her eyes began to water. She blinked back trying to fight the tears from falling, her new resolve beginning to crack slightly. Sam’s scent filling her senses, maybe wearing his shirt had been a bad idea.

“Hey..hey..” Jordan comes up to her about to take her into his arms but stops just short and caresses her arm, trying to bring her some comfort. “I don’t know what I can say, sorry doesn’t begin to cover what happened, what I may have caused, the argument and all.”

Marie side steps away from him “It was more than just an argument. He wants space. It’s easy to blame you right now and I do.”

Neither one saying anything, only their breathing can be heard in the quietness of her home. Jordan looks at the woman he has been falling in love with since meeting her. But she wasn’t looking at him, her attention somewhere else, with someone else.

“He just gave up and pushed me away. It was just a matter of time for this day to come.”

The smile on her face masked her true feeling, Jordan could see the hurt he caused her. He wanted her and he didn’t care how he would get her. The first step in winning her had been more effective than he had hoped for and he would be there for her, whenever and however she would want him.

“Marie, I don’t know if you’d believe me or you’d take this with a grain of salt. I’m here for whatever you need. A shoulder to cry on, someone to talk too. I’ll be here.”

“I..uh. Thank you Jordan. I think, you should.. you know, it's getting.”

“It’s getting late. I should head out, pretty sure I’ll be packing my things.” He grins as he makes his way towards the door. “Goodnight Marie.”

“Goodnight.”

She watched him go, turning and waving at her, Marie closed and locked the door after seeing him disappear behind the elevator doors. For the first time in her life she felt empty.

Marie hated that feeling. She wasn’t going to wallow in what could have been. It was her from this day forward and no one would get in her way especially not Sam Dalton.

******

His grip tightened around the steering wheel, knuckles becoming white with rage. His jaw clenched, his heart rate increased as he watched as the boys nanny walk out of the building. A smirk on his face, a fucking smirk.

He knows one thing can cause a look like that, Marie. The look of being the luckiest guy on earth, countless times she made Sam feel that way, after spending their stolen moments in each other’s arms.

Reaching for the handle of the Audi, he was going to confront him. Sam didn’t care if he caused a scene. As he opened the door, a honk of a taxi makes him instantly reconsider what he was about to do.

Jordan turns towards the noise, spotting a familiar car pull out and drive away, he watched the taillights disappear. A wide grin spreads across his face. He knew who it was, a satisfying feeling warmed him, knowing he was closer of making Marie his.

#the nanny affair fanfiction #the nanny affair choices #the nanny affair 2 #sam dalton x mc #m!sam dalton x mc #choices sam dalton #choices tna #tna fanfic #choices stories you play #masterlist

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hale-13 · 3 years

Text

Slipping Through the Cracks

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 5 - Broken

Just when his life was finally leveling out Parker luck struck again. Peter has had four opportunities with parents and has lost all of them. The way he sees it, this is the least of what he deserves.

Post-Homecoming - Tony didn’t meet with Peter immediately to offer him a place on the Avengers.

Words: 3856, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen-Teen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Ned Leeds

TW: Depression, Dissociation, a single line of Suicidal Ideation, Referenced Child Abuse

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

Peter was silent as he exited Midtown with Ned keeping a quiet pace with him. Seven months ago they would be just as excited as their classmates for the weekend, for the plans that they surely would have made to build Legos or marathon movies or even to just study together. Ned would have been ecstatic to set up in Peter’s bedroom as his ‘guy in the chair’ while Peter did a quick patrol or two. If they were at Peter’s instead of Ned’s, May would attempt some new dish that would, inevitably, be awful and they would order pizza from their favorite place for dinner.

Now Peter never saw any of his limited friend group outside of school. He didn’t build Legos or watch movies or eat take-out pizza and he certainly wasn’t Spider-Man anymore – he had given that up after the Homecoming disaster when he had destroyed Mr. Stark’s plane.

It had been just over six months since he had found May dead in their kitchen and Peter didn’t really do anything at all anymore.

The ER doctors told Peter that she had an undiagnosed aneurysm that had finally burst – there was no way for anyone to know. She went quickly. She felt no pain. There was nothing that Peter could have done even if he was there when it happened.

The reassurances meant nothing really – Peter was numb. May was his last living family member, he had no one else and nowhere to turn. He can vaguely remember telling the social worker that was with him when they told him the news about May that he was alone now. He can remember being taken forcibly from the hospital before he was ready to go, wanting to kick and scream and drag his heels but too shocked to do so. And then everything was a blur.

Somewhere in his mind he knew that he had been allowed to pack up everything important from their apartment to go into storage until he was eighteen besides the bag of essentials he had for himself. He knew that everything else was donated or sold to pay off their remaining debt and the medical bills he had incurred by calling for help when he found May on the kitchen floor. He knew that the social worker told him that, even after selling everything, they couldn’t afford a funeral. He has a business card in his wallet with the number of the crematorium that was holding May’s ashes until he was old enough to retrieve them and, hopefully, give her a proper burial in their family plot next to Ben.

He spent the two weeks after in a group home, mute and dissociating with seven other boys in similar situations. He didn’t go to school, but he remembers the constant stream of unanswered texts and calls from Ned and MJ before his phone plan was discontinued then his phone became a dead relic in his bag. There were a lot of discussions about school that Peter didn’t take part in but, thanks to his full scholarship, he was able to continue at Midtown at least until the end of the year.

And then he was placed with his foster parents.

The Fishers seemed to be pleasant people when Peter first met them; they didn’t force him to speak, they had extensive fostering experience with teenagers and were willing to pay for his subway pass so he could get to and from his school even though there was a decent public school in walking distance. It didn’t take long, however, for their true colors to show.

Now, though, Peter knew the rules. He was always home by his curfew of four on school days and he never went out on the weekends. His grades were perfect. He kept his undecorated room spotless. He cooked supper every evening and breakfast and dinner on the weekends. He kept the house presentable. He stayed out of the Fishers way. Mostly he drifted. His days slid together to the point he had difficultly remembering entire weeks passing him by but it was fine.

He was fine.

“I’ll see you Monday,” Ned muttered as he split off to get in his mom’s car, not acknowledging the pathetic little wave Peter offered in return. A coiling feeling settled in his gut and Perter felt guilt rise up to swirl in his throat. Ned was his best friend and he was treating him like shit. With Peter basically unresponsive, bullies had taken to picking on Ned instead… well except for Flash. Flash had been the only one to back off and stand up for both of them – it helped but didn’t fix everything.

“Better if he leaves you now,” a little voice in his head whispered. “It’s better to be alone.” And maybe at one point he would have fought against that mindset but now he couldn’t help but agree. Peter destroyed everything he touched and everyone around him was doomed for misery. Better for Ned to get out while he could.

Lethargically, Peter began across the empty football field toward the subway entrance – his trip home was always a little tight and he couldn’t afford to miss this train.

“Peter!” A harried voice shouted as his shoulder was grabbed and he was roughly turned around to face a red-faced and irritated Happy Hogan. Peter’s mind blanked for a moment in total shock at seeing the man again after so long. “Didn’t you hear me calling for you?”

“Sorry Mr. Hogan,” Peter mumbled, not making eye contact. He felt the phantom sting from the slap he had gotten for that when he first moved into foster care burning his bare cheek.

“The Boss has been calling you, he wants to chat. You screening our calls now?” Happy asked, accusatory as his eyes raked down Peter’s form. Peter felt a shiver crawl up his spine and kept his sight locked on Happy’s chin, trying to remain as relaxed as possible. It was important to not draw any unwanted attention to himself.

“No sir,” he answered, voice a little rough and quiet with disuse. “I don’t have a phone anymore.” Happy huffed and narrowed his eyes at Peter before steering him to the expensive Audi parked in front of the school.

“No matter, he wants to talk to you in person anyway. Hop in and I’ll take you to the Tower.” Peter gulped and fought the urge to dig his heels in – it wouldn’t be polite.

“I have a curfew of four,” he protested weakly as Happy pulled open the door for him and motioned for him to climb in. Peter hesitated but relented when Happy gave him a little shrug.

“I’m sure May will understand and Tony can always give her a call to clear anything up.” And with that Peter was gone. No one had said her name since she died and the thought… the very implication that he could still be living with his aunt, happy and carefree, was insane. His mind floated away and he felt like he was watching himself as a specter. He saw his body relax but his eyes were distant, cloudy. Happy, for the first time that Peter could remember, didn’t raise the partition between the front and rear seats and, instead, watched Peter in the rear view mirror.

The drive to the Tower took over thirty minutes with traffic and Peter would be panicking about how late he was going to be if he had any capacity to feel at all. Instead, he let his mind wander as the skyscrapers of Manhattan blurred into a grey mosaic outside the window, fat raindrops sporadically hitting the window as a drizzle started. “We’re here,” Happy told him as he parked the car in the underground garage that was reserved for Mr. Stark and other high level staff of the Tower. Peter popped his door open and followed the man to the private elevator that he assumed would take them to Mr. Stark’s office.

“Hello Happy. Hello Peter,” the disembodied voice of Mr. Stark’s AI, FRIDAY, said as the doors closed and the elevator began to move. “Boss is awaiting your arrival in his workshop.”

“Thanks FRIDAY,” Happy said, texting intently on his phone. Peter just remained silent as the elevator began to slow before stopping completely, the doors trundling open soundlessly. Happy nudged Peter out but remained inside the car as the doors closed, leaving Peter alone in the sleek room.

Tony was seated in front of a large hologram of his armor, code scrolling past on his monitor as he made adjustments. “Mr. Parker,” he said as Peter edged closer to him, not looking up from his work. “You’re a hard man to get in contact with.”

Though Tony sounded more forthright than angry, Peter still had to fight the cringe in his shoulders as he came to a stop about ten feet away from the work bench – out of reach and with enough time to prepare if the man were to make any sudden moves. “Sorry,” he murmured, keeping his eyes low and doing his best to keep his shoulders from curling in – the last thing he needed to do was show any weakness.

“No need for apologies,” Tony said, light, as he fiddled with a holo mechanism in the right repulser. “Just a statement of fact. According to the news Spider-Man has also been just as difficult to find.”

Peter just hummed in response, choosing not to comment on his previous alter-ego. He didn’t much feel like a hero these days.

“A man of few words,” Tony commented, shutting down the programs in front of him and turning to face Peter fully. “Are you the same kid who was talking my ear off in Germany a year ago?”

“Yes sir,” Peter said, keeping his eyes focused on Tony’s chin. He could feel his mind slipping as his heart rate sped up and he struggled to keep present – it was getting harder and harder to stay in the moment the more he allowed himself to get lost in his head. He occasionally dreamed that one day it might be permanent; one of the few good dreams he had.

“Sir?” Tony parroted, his eyebrows raising and a flash of guilt washing over his features quickly before disappearing. “Look kid, I think I owe you an apology. Actually, I know I owe you an apology. I didn’t communicate with you about the whole alien weapons take-down thing. I underestimated you and treated you like a side-kick and ignored you and then I left you alone and without any protection and you saved my bacon anyway.”

“I deserved it,” Peter said matter-of-factly. “I was in over my head and I disobeyed. The punishment fit the crime.”

“No it didn’t,” Tony told him bluntly but firmly, looking surprised but resolute. “Maybe we both share some fault in the situation but I’m the adult and the one with experience and I didn’t do anything to teach you or help you and for that I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Peter assured him, allowing himself to tap his index finger against his thigh once to let out his stress. Mr. Fisher didn’t like his constant fidgeting and Peter knew that it was pretty annoying so he had done his best to learn how to stand as still as possible to not incur any extra punishments – the index finger tap he was able to normally get away with.

Mr. Stark’s eyes were narrowed as he surveyed Peter. “I wanted to offer you a real spot as my intern. You could spend a few days a week in the shop working on tech and I made you a new and improved suit for the other part of your ‘internship’. I promise that you’ll always have the support you need to be New York’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. You’re the future of the Avengers, kid, its pretty clear to me now. Your spot on the team is there whenever you want to take it.”

For the briefest of moments, Peter was overwhelmed with excitement and incredulity. Ever since Tony had announced he was Iron Man to the world, Peter had wanted nothing more than to be a superhero as well, to be an Avenger. If Tony had offered him a spot on the team after Germany, Peter would have taken it in an instant. Now…

“Thank you Mr. Stark,” Peter said, voice still a little broken and hoarse from how little he spoke these days. “But I can’t.”

“Oh you don’t have to join now,” the man assured, misunderstanding. “You’ll need some training first but Rhodey and Vision are always down to join us at the compound for some group work. You have a lot of potential.”

“Thanks but that’s not what I meant,” Peter clarified. “I have to decline all of it but I appreciate the offer.”

“Oh,” Tony looked a little crestfallen, a dark expression of acceptance on his defined features. “I understand. Broken trust and all that. Sure.”

“It’s not that,” Peter reassured quickly. “I don’t hold anything against you – I was the one who messed up. It’s just I have a four o’clock curfew every day so I can’t do the internship.”

“That’s easily remedied!” Mr. Stark said, his eyes lifting with a smile and looking relieved. “I’ll just give Aunt Hottie a call and work things out and we’ll have you in the lab and out swinging through the streets in no time!”

Peter’s ears fuzzed out again, a sharp high-pitched note cutting off Tony’s excited words as a feeling of immense emotion flooded through Peter before he could tamp it down. His breathing felt a little ragged in his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment to gather himself. “My aunt is dead,” Peter gritted out, interrupting Tony and rendering him speechless. “She died six months ago. My foster… the people fostering me are a little more strict.”

“Oh,” Tony said, face blank and an awkward silence filling the space. Peter gripped his worn down backpack straps and backed toward the elevator.

“Thanks for the offer,” Peter said earnestly. “It really is an honor I just…” he trailed off. “Thanks. For everything.”

And with that, he entered the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby, the doors shutting on Tony’s pitying expression before the man could say anything much to Peter’s relief. The metro card the Fishers had gotten him only had a set amount of money on it every month so Peter would be hoofing it back to their house from the Tower. His cracked watch face told him that it was already close to four-thirty and his stomach bubbled with anxiety. At this rate he wouldn’t be back in time to have dinner on the table at five-thirty.

Resigned to his punishments, Peter left the building through the shining lobby and pointed himself toward Queens, moving as fast as he could.

——————-

“You’re late,” Mr. Fishers’s tone was short and monotonous from where he was seated on the couch. The house was otherwise quiet which meant Mrs. Fisher was out that evening.

“I’m sorry sir,” Peter whispered looking at the floor and making no excuses. He had learned the hard way that trying to justify his poor behavior only made things worse for him in the long run.

“Go to your room,” Mr. Fisher told him making Peter cringe. “I’ll join you in a moment.”

Later, when Peter was lying on the bed with silent tears still leaking from his eyes and his back and ribs stinging in pain, he thought about Mr. Stark’s offer with selfish desire. In another universe, in another life, he would have been elated but now he only felt desolation - life always did like to dangle things in front of him he couldn’t have.

Setting his alarm for five-thirty so he wouldn’t oversleep, Peter let his consciousness slip away into the ether, mind going blissfully empty and blank.

——————-

Monday came both faster and slower than Peter wanted. His body still ached from his well-deserved punishment and he was exhausted from the extra chores and minimal food he had been offered as a result of his actions. School passed in a lonely blur for him as he drifted from class to class, hiding away in the deserted music room during lunch to avoid Ned and MJ. They didn’t ask as many questions anymore but Peter didn’t want to put himself in a situation where he would have to lie to his friends again.

When the final bell of the day rang, Peter chose to not stop by his locker where he may be ambushed and, instead, left the school, headed directly for the subway. He had nearly made it when a body physically blocked him from the stairs.

“Howdy Pete,” Mr. Stark said, peering over his glasses to look at Peter and Peter did his best to school his expression into indifference. He couldn’t be late again. He couldn’t take another punishment, he was just so tired all he wanted to do was sleep. Maybe forever. “Where are you headed?”

“Back to my fosters,” Peter told him, trying to skirt around. “I have a four o’clock curfew.”

“I remember you saying something about that,” Mr. Stark agreed with a nod. “Tell you what – let me give you a ride home. You’ll get home well before your curfew and I can talk to your foster parents about the internship. Who can say no to Tony Stark right?”

“NO!” Peter said loudly before smacking a palm over his mouth. He could feel the blood draining from his face as his body tensed, preparing for the correction he knew was coming. Mr. Stark’s brow was furrowed now and his eyes behind his blue glasses had a twinkle of understanding in them.

“Peter,” he began, reaching a hand out with the intention of lying his hand on Peter’s shoulder but he never got that far. Seeing the hand coming towards him and already being on high alert after his exclamation, Peter violently flinched away, only barely able to catch himself from falling over due to his enhanced reflexes, and squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Oh Peter,” Tony said, a desolate understanding in his voice.

Peter cracked his eyes open to see Mr. Stark with both hands raised in the universal ‘backing off’ signal, a soft look on his face. “Sorry sir,” Peter croaked out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s fine.”

“Do you have something you need to tell me kiddo?” Tony’s voice was soft and gentle and Peter felt his eyes well up with tears he hastily blinked away as he shook his head quickly. “It’s okay buddy. You can tell me.”

“I’m fine. I’m okay. It’s fine.” Tony looked even more crestfallen at Peter’s answer and tapped the side of his glasses to activate FRIDAY.

“Can you I’ve me a scan FRI?” He asked and Peter flinched again knowing there was no way to hide the broken and healing bones and skin that he had been doing his best to conceal. Tony’s face was tight as he stared at Peter and Peter felt all of the blood left in his face drain away.

“I deserved it,” Peter told him desperately. “I disobeyed, it was my fault.” Mr. Stark just looked even more beaten at his words and Peter felt his breathing picking up.

“It’s not,” Tony said, voice still unbelievably soft but firm. “It’s not your fault and you didn’t deserve it. You’re a great kid Pete.” Peter shook his head no and couldn’t stop a couple tears from leaking out before furiously wiping them away. “I promise that it wasn’t your fault Underoos. Will you let me help you?”

“You can’t,” Peter said, feeling hollow. “Everyone… everyone close to me dies. I’m cursed and I can’t do that to you too Mr. Stark.”

“Can I hug you?” Tony asked suddenly, arms twitching with need. After a seconds hesitation, Peter nodded and was hastily folded into the man’s arms; one arm tight around his shoulders and the other snaking up into his hair to pull through the too long strands carefully. Peter felt more tears leak out and, suddenly, he couldn’t hold it in any longer, throwing his own arms around Tony to return the hug and letting out a gut-wrenching sob into the man’s shoulder. Tony just shushed him and let him take as much comfort as he could. “You’re not cursed and none of this is your fault. I get the feeling no one has told you that yet and you need to hear it.”

Peter sobbed loudly again, curling in tighter. He had always thrived on positive affirmation and had grown up in a family where hugs and shoulder pats and forehead kisses were the norm. To go so long without… he had forgotten how nice it was to just be held and cared for. “Thank you,” Peter said, his voice clogged with emotion. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Tony said firmly. “Anyone decent would do the same thing and it’s the least of what you deserve.”

Peter squeezed him one more time and took a deep breath before pulling away. “Thank you,” he reiterated, fighting to make eye contact so he could show just how sincere he was. “But I need to get back before four and I already missed my train. I can’t be late.” Tony, who still had one hand resting on Peter’s shoulder, gripped him tightly to prevent him from escaping up the stairs to the train.

“You aren’t going back,” he said firmly, ducking his head and forcing Peter to make eye contact. “You’re coming with me back to the Tower where I’m going to call CPS and my lawyers. You’re never going back there again.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Peter insisted. “It’s really not that bad if I’m home on time and do my chores and stay in my room. And its only two more years until I’m eighteen and then I can get a job and an apartment.”

“Pete,” Tony said, eyes shining as he wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and started leading him away from the subway and toward the Audi that was parked in the pickup lane; Peter could see the outline of Happy’s silhouette in the driver’s seat. “You deserve better. You deserve somewhere safe and you deserve to have someone care about you. I know you don’t believe it now and that’s okay – I’m just going to keep telling you until you do.”

Peter sniffed back another onslaught of tears and allowed himself to be pulled away. “Thank you Mr. Stark,” he said, voice clogged with emotion.

“It’s Tony kiddo,” the man told him with another squeeze that warmed Peter to the core. “And you don’t need to thank me for this okay?”

“Okay,” Peter agreed, fully aware and present and wanting to be for the first time in a long time. Things were never going to be the same, but maybe, just maybe, they would get better.

#summer of whump 2021 #Prompt: Broken #spider man #irondad #summerofwhump #summerofwhump5

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kylorengarbagedump · 4 years

Text

Little Bird: Chapter 40

Read on AO3. Part 39 here. Part 41 here.

Summary: Out of curiosity, is it possible to have a party in Gilead that doesn't end in disaster?

Words: 5600

Warnings: emotions

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: Hello! Welcome back, again, to my weekly updates. Haha. I think the last few chapters may go a couple weeks in between updates, if only because I want to get them exactly right--just as a heads up.

I am hoping this chapter seemed correct in its pacing and length--these are two things I am trying to get a better feel for as I write, hence the extended length of the chapters, but I'm wondering if it feels too draggy?

Anyway, I love y'all very very much, and I love your thoughts and kindness and generosity. I am truly so lucky. <3

The Night Buzzard was hardly the most comfortable sleep you’d had, but it had easily been the deepest in weeks. Between the exhaustion of being fucked within an inch of your existence and the knowledge that a veritable army was only feet away from you, you felt invulnerable enough to slip into what apparently was complete unconsciousness for six hours. Nothing--not the rumbling of the terrain, not the voices of the Knights, nor the wailing of the engine--had roused you. Only a firm pressure on your shoulder was enough to finally drag you from your blissful semi-coma.

Your eyes fluttered open, still hazy with a film of sleep, coming to focus on the morning-kissed face of Kylo Ren.

Light filtered through the black-tint windows, splitting him in shadow, his expression soft and stern. His hair was filthy with sweat, clumped in frizzy locks over his forehead and ears, his chin and upper lip peppered with a hint of stubble. As you met his gaze, you could see nothing but tired, guttered rage in his pupils, an umbra under his eyes. His attention flickered over you, examining you, a warm, gloveless hand cupping your cheek, thumb tracing over the still-tender skin. You winced, and his head tilted, his hand skating down your arm, sparking affection in your chest. Affection you did not want. Frowning, you shrugged him off.

His lid twitched, his jaw tensed. He glanced to the side. “We’ve arrived home.” Toward the front of the Buzzard, the Knights were shuffling, the door whining as it opened. “Once you shower and dress, we’ll be departing again.”

You blinked, tugging the robe to your chin and propping yourself up on an elbow. “Again?” you asked. “Why?”

“City hall,” he replied. “Tying loose ends.”

“Okay.” You shrugged, rolling over, looking at the wall. “You enjoy that. I won’t be going.”

Pressure on your shoulder again, turning you toward him, and you shook him away. “You’re coming.”

“If you’re concerned about my safety, leave a Knight or two outside.” A tiny smirk on your lips. “They’ve become pretty familiar with me by now, anyway.”

Kylo grumbled, gripping your arm. “You don’t have a choice.”

Spinning on him, you seared him in his spot. “What else is new?” you spat. “Go ahead, then. Make me.” You grit your teeth. “I’d really like to see you try.”

He stared at you, studying your face, lips pinching together. The last Knight stepped off the Buzzard, and the door closed, drenching you both in silence. You held him in your gaze, unyielding, breath stalled in your lungs. Kylo swallowed, and then averted his eyes, his conviction melting in the ferocity of your fury. The hold on your arm loosened--you grabbed two of his fingers, plucked them free, and tossed his hand to the side.

“Right,” you said. “That’s what I thought.”

Huffing, you clambered out of the bunk from the end of the mattress, pulling your robe--his robe, technically--over your body and cinching it tight. You felt Kylo’s gaze linger while you gathered your shoes and underwear into your arms, flouncing barefoot down the steps and into the front yard of his home. The sun was peeking into the sky, spilling newborn light through dawn clouds, the air still woven with the wool of summer heat. Sighing, you paced to the front door, arms folded with your belongings, trained on the floor as you escaped to your room.

When you shut the door to your tiny cell, you burst, hurling your clothes into the air with a howl, throwing yourself on your bed. It didn’t matter if you wanted to cry--you would continue to refuse, content to bask in rage instead, to let yourself simmer in it. You would tolerate no more kindness from Kylo Ren, no more exceptions in his design, no more delicate baths or malted whisky eyes or hope-hollow words. If he was to never let you go, you would never let him hold you again.

It was about a half-hour before the Buzzard peeled from the driveway, and the Audi with it. You allowed yourself a moment of respite in his absence--now was your chance to bathe and catalogue the thoughts flipping through your mind. Another long, soft sigh escaped your lungs, and you rolled out of bed, grabbing a change of clothes and new uniform before heading to your door, only to be met with the sound of footsteps in the hallway. You swallowed, paused, heart flipping. It could only be a Knight--you just hadn’t expected to be met in your room. When the boots stopped outside of the threshold, but went no further, you shook off your nerves and opened it.

One of the Knights--helmeted, as usual, God only knew what they looked like--stood in front of you, silent, as if it was totally normal for him to be waiting outside of your door like a sentry. Warmth rushed your face in memory of the previous night, acknowledging that he’d not only seen you naked, he’d stroked his cock to the sight of you being fucked, and he’d shot hot jets of cum somewhere onto your body. You supposed it’d be awkward to ask which load had been his.

“Um.” You cleared your throat. If only there was a way for you to glimpse his mind, to know what he was recalling--or imagining--in this moment. “Excuse me.”

“Apologies,” he sputtered. The voice was familiar--Ushar, you guessed. “Wasn’t expecting you to be leaving.”

“Oh.” Perhaps getting his semen blown onto your face afforded you the privilege of a conversation. Or he was concerned you’d be afraid, and then mention it to your Commander. “Don’t worry about it.”

You stepped toward him, and he pivoted, back to the wall, allowing you a wide berth as you passed. Fear seemed more likely.

It wasn’t until you’d made it approximately twenty feet down the hall that he moved to follow, trailing behind while you snuck down the steps and to your bathroom in the annex. You opened the door and slipped inside, tossing your uniform to the side and running your bath. Seconds later, Ushar arrived at the door in silence.

As alone as you could get inside Kylo Ren’s home, you shrugged off your robe, and scanned your body, seeking evidence of your evening. There was no mirror in your bathroom, just as there was not one in your bedroom--so you improvised, pressing your palms to your cheeks, mapping the topography of your skull with your fingers. Pain tingled at your touch, the lumps and bumps that had burgeoned overnight still thumping and soft, the bruises on your face stinging with latent life.

They were all trophies, to you, little souvenirs from your holiday at his hands--and you hoped by the time you’d lost them, the feelings packaged with them would be lost, too.

When the bath was halfway full, you sank into the water, shuddering as tension and ache was vacuumed from your limbs. You gazed at your stomach beyond the surface, imagining it as an island in the bath--your skin stretched tight, belly button protruding like a tiny hill--and coasted your hands over it, as if this would manifest your illusion. When it finally did become reality, there was no telling where you’d be, what you’d be bathing in, or who you would have come to trust. But you knew that wherever you landed, it would be by the strength of your own wings, in a nest that, no matter how humble, was crafted by only your design.

After you were clean and the water had cooled, you hoisted yourself from the bath, arms and legs heavy from relief in buoyancy. You stumbled onto the tile and steadied yourself with the sink, taking a few breaths. Balanced, you dressed into your uniform and tucked your hair away before tossing your leftover items into the hamper and exiting the bathroom.

Ushar was still stationed outside--your cheeks burned again when you walked past him, returning to your room. You’d had plenty of encounters with men--your red dress was proof of that--but in the past three years, the only person whose release you’d handled had been your Commander’s. The sudden fact that seven men had anointed you with cum within the past 24 hours sharpened the post-engagement awkwardness to a knife. Not that you regretted it.

You shut your door behind you and flopped onto your mattress face-first. The sky was bright, but it was still early. There was nothing else for you to do but continue to sleep.

The sun had passed mid-point when a squealing cheer from somewhere in the home startled you awake, eyes opening into a blank wall. A little hint of dread poked your brain as you recalled what Johana had mentioned the day before. A party to celebrate. You grunted, wanting to bury yourself in your pillow--but cramped, stomach seizing in hunger, informing you that you hadn’t actually eaten in over 24 hours. Between the doctor, the Buzzard trip, and getting your brains fucked out and then jizzed on, your appetite had been whittled to nil. Unfortunately, you were still human.

Sighing for the five-hundredth time that day, you trudged out of bed, adjusting your bonnet before you opened the door to Ushar, steadfast as ever. He sidled against the wall again, and you once more plodded through the hall, down the steps, with him in slow pursuit.

Another peal of laughter ricocheted off the walls, and your neck prickled. They were in the parlour room, whoever they all were, and it was required you pass the parlour room to reach the kitchen. Turning to Ushar, you cocked your head in a silent plea, to have even a sliver of a chance to be invisible. Perhaps, again, out of fear, he nodded, backing into the hall--and you willed yourself to be a scarlet spectre, unseeable unless you wished to be seen, in the hopes you could escape their eyes.

As you crept to the archway, one of the women clapped her hands.

“Oh, Johana!” she said. “I had one of those too! Perfect for the baby room.”

“Do you think so?” That was Johana, sounding concerned. “No choking hazards?”

“No way!” said another woman. “You just hang it up above the crib and they fall right asleep!”

“Yes, it doesn’t go in the crib!”

Johana laughed. “Oh, give me a break, I’m a new mom.”

The group erupted in giggles again. Your stomach churned--but not from hunger. As their chatter escalated, you stepped forward, visible through the threshold, and every word on their lips died.

In the center of the room was Johana, perched on the edge of the leather Chesterfield with a mobile in her lap, buried in a mountain of handmade baby clothes, toys, and room decor, a bevy of neatly wrapped boxes still unopened. Surrounding her were at least a dozen Wives, none of whom you recognized apart from Dolpheld Mitaka’s--you supposed the others had become Widows. They scrutinized you in confused disgust for a long, quiet moment.

It was almost shocking, how quickly they’d pulled this amount of material together, but you also knew most Wives stockpiled baby things in anticipation for their day. Perhaps the only truly surprising fact was their willingness to share.

“Ofkylo.” Johana’s cheeks glowed, but you couldn’t tell if it was from joy or embarrassment. “Good afternoon.”

“Um.” You folded your arms over your chest, like you could hide the knowledge that you were pregnant from everyone in the room. “Hello.”

She placed the mobile to the side. “I trust you had an uneventful evening.” There was no edge of malice in her tone--your pregnancy appeared to have at least one tangible benefit.

Pinching your lips between your teeth, you ignored the swarm of blood to your face. “Yeah,” you said, and then corrected, “yes. I, um. I did.”

One of the Wives, plump with dark hair, snorted, rolling her eyes. “You let your Handmaid out during the day?” she asked. “I can’t stand to see them crawling around like that.”

“Oh, I know!” replied a blonde-haired woman. “They’re like rats. Conniving, selfish things.”

“The one I had would always be making eyes at my husband, I swear.”

“Wasn’t she blind in one eye?”

“Well, yes, but she was still looking at him with her good eye--”

The back of your neck bloomed with sweat, your fingers burrowing into your arms. Venom gathered on the tip of your tongue, the most foolish part of you wanting to test out just how absolute your Commander’s protection was.

“--and all I knew was, she better have been sleeping with that one eye open, or I was going to--”

The dark-haired Wife shushed the rest, leering at you as she spoke. “Be careful what you say,” she said, “you know Jo’s husband has a soft spot for Handmaids.”

The others nodded in agreement, supplying Johana with looks that ranged from pity to complete contempt.

“That’s right!” This woman, a red-head closest to Johana, patted her knee. “Oh, I don’t know what I’d do if I were you. I don’t think I’d ever put up with everything you do.”

“It’s kind of stupid, isn’t it?” said another. “Benefits for Handmaids? Who cares? They’re literally whores!”

A gaggle of them laughed, and you licked your lips, teeth crushing your tongue into submission. Johana met your eyes, glimpsed your whitening knuckles, and her jaw stiffened.

The red-head patted her knee again, like this was comforting instead of patronizing. “You’re being quiet!” she said. “You don’t share your husband’s… preoccupation with Handmaids, do you?”

Johana blanched, scowling. “What? No.”

“That’s good.” She sighed. “Because I was just thinking the other day, you know, this never would’ve happened if Moden were alive.” A spoiled-fruit sweetness tinged her tone. “Don’t you think?”

For a sharp, clear second, Johana froze, and the last restraint on your mouth snapped.

“I think that’s pretty inappropriate,” you said. “Ms. Johana has no say in what her husband does.”

Silence swallowed the room, every muscle motionless. A low murmur of disbelief vibrated through the Wives as they glanced at each other, and then at Johana. She was looking at you like she’d looked at you at the dinner party--only this time, bathed in familiar light.

“Actually.” Back straight, she cleared her throat. “Ofkylo, why don’t you. Come... sit with us.”

The Wives flipped on her like a dozen switches, their brows drawn back or raised, before gazing at you, waiting for you to make your choice. There was some delight you’d take in staying, in deliberately making them uncomfortable, just as Johana wanted--but God, you were hungry. You shook your head, put up your palms in deference.

“Oh, no,” you said. “That’s, um, that’s fine, Ms. Johana, but I was just going to get something--”

“Nonsense.” She scooted over, patted the seat next to her on the couch. “Sit.”

You rolled your tongue over your teeth, ready to turn and leave, but something in her expression was tight, needled with pain. As if she was pleading. A current of pity rippled through your mind--in this room, surrounded by gifts, supposed friends, and social and legal superiority, she was still left depending on you. With a shrug of agreement, you waded through the crowd until you reached her, sinking onto the sofa, squeezing between her and the building hill of presents.

None of the Wives spoke. Johana clapped her hands on her thighs. “So!” she said. “Next gift?”

They surveyed each other for a moment, and a small hand crept into the air.

“Um.” It was Mitaka’s Wife, her mousey face peeking through the crowd. “You can open my gift next, Johana.” She offered a floppy paper package, eased it toward the couch. “I, um, I made it awhile ago for… someone else. It’s not much.”

Johana took it into her lap with a small grin. “Oh, I’m sure it’s just lovely.”

You watched, like you were beyond a screen as she opened a gift meant for your child as if it was hers. She looked out at the other women, peeling the wrapping back, exposing a small, knit sweater. The room gasped, shrieking in restrained glee when she held it up, flipping it in display.

“Adorable!” said the blonde-haired Wife, clapping her hands. “That’s perfect.”

Johana released a nervous chuckle. “But it’s so small.”

“No way!” said another woman. “That baby’s taking after you. He’s going to be tiny!”

“Yes! Precious little man!”

“Oh,” Johana said with a laugh, “we’ve decided it’s a boy, now?”

Another jubilant interruption, the lot of them breaking into smiles while your muscles locked, your focus drifting to your stomach. You hadn’t really considered its gender, or its appearance, or its actuality at all. Something twisted through your heart--a swell of repulsive affection--as you imagined it in your arms, every feature blurred, save for one clear detail: a feathery mop of thick, dark hair.

“What are you going to name him?”

The baby in your arms disintegrated, and you snapped to the parlour room.

“He won’t be a Junior, will he?”

The first thought through your head--Kylo would never want a Junior--before you realized that Kylo would never meet his child, and the question hadn’t been directed toward you at all.

Johana shrugged, her shoulder brushing yours. “You know, I’ve thought about names, but I can’t decide. My husband doesn’t really have a preference.”

“He’ll be just as handsome as your husband, I’m sure,” said the dark-haired woman. “But let’s hope he gets your manners.”

“What do you mean?” asked the blonde Wife. “Her husband is polite! He’s so quiet.”

The room dimmed with stifled muttering as the women who had spent more than five seconds around Kylo Ren exchanged sardonic smiles. Johana tensed at your side.

The blonde woman blinked. “What?” she said. “What is it?”

“Polite isn’t the word I’d use,” said the dark-haired woman.

“I’d use the word ass--”

“Shh! Don’t say that, Jo’s right here.”

“Well, she’s the one enabling all of his--”

“It’s fine!” Johana’s face was pale, fists bunching in her dress. “I--I mean, he’s rough around the edges,” she said. “But I’m sure he’s… I’m sure he’s going to be a great father.” She pursed her lips, looking at you, that same plea in her eyes. “Right?”

Your stomach roared in protest--the thought of remaining in a room, listening to Wives discuss your child and its father’s involvement as if you were exempt from the equation had bubbled nausea to your tongue. Clearing your throat, you stood, dusting off your skirt. Johana grabbed your wrist.

“Hold on. Where are you going?”

Grimacing, you wagged free of her grip. “I, um, really have to eat.” Your face was on fire. “Excuse me.”

Focus fixed to the floor, you scrambled from the group of Wives, whisking through the hall, wiping your palms on your sides. A great father. Even if you thought that was true--which, given everything you’d come to know about him, you now admitted you’d be delusional to think--Kylo Ren was never going to know if his child was even born.

When you arrived in the kitchen, you met with Emma and Rose, preparing some sort of hors d'oeuvres. You wondered how many of these they did, given all of the parties Johana seemed hell-bent on forcing on this home. At the sound of your boot on the tile, they spun from the counters, and you offered a small grin, easing past the threshold.

“Hi.” You looked around the kitchen. “I was just. Um. Coming to get something to eat.”

Rose sighed. “Can you come back later? We’re a little busy.”

“Oh.” An angry growl somewhere in your abdomen. “I mean, I was just going to maybe have a sandwich?”

“Just let us finish this up,” Emma said, “then you can make yourself whatever you want.”

On the counter were dozens of cucumber slices, handfuls of cherry tomatoes, and a tub of shiny cream cheese. It couldn’t have been that much more work to do. And you didn’t want to be rude. You chewed your lip, folded your hands behind your back.

“Would you like help?”

They paused, glanced at each other, then back at you. Rose stepped to the side, providing you space in the counter, and you joined them, looking over the spread.

“Here.” She opened a drawer, pulled out a knife, and placed it in front of you. “Finish up the cucumbers.”

There were only a few more to cut. You nodded, scanned the counter for a cutting board. “Oh, um. Do you have a spare…”

“There should be one in the bottom of the pantry.”

You nodded and crossed to the other side of the kitchen, opening the bottom drawers and searching through them, pushing aside the aluminum sheet pans and sets of kitchen utensils. No cutting board.

“I can’t find it?”

Emma sighed. “It should be under the muffin tins.”

“Oh.” You pried up the set of muffin tins, revealing a small wooden slab. “Got it. Thank you.”

Bending down, you wedged it from underneath the plethora of unused accessories, wiggling it from the drawer. As you pulled it free, the cresting rumble of the Audi’s engine coasted into the driveway. Your grip wavered, and it crashed to the floor.

“Shit!” you hissed. Emma and Rose looked at you, brows pinched in concern, and you swallowed, heat building in your cheeks. “Um. I mean. Sorry.”

When you picked it up, the door to the Audi closed, followed by the scrape of boots through the front path, and you paused, your grasp on the board so tight you were surprised the wood hadn’t splintered. With you in the corner of the kitchen, your Commander wouldn’t see you as he passed through the hall--but it wasn’t seeing you that had your heart in your throat. It was the impending discovery of the party around the corner, full of women--and his Wife--whom you feared were guaranteeing their casualties under his design.

The front door opened, and you heard Kylo march through, shutting it behind him and striding into the hall. Chest tight, you returned to the counter, cutting board in hand, and placed it down before drawing in a slow breath. You plucked a smaller cucumber and laid it on the slab. His footsteps stopped.

“What is this?”

Hands quaking, you lifted the knife, the handle heavy in your palm as you recalled how to wield one.

“Oh! Commander,” Johana said. “It’s a party! For us!”

You lined up the blade with the tip, lips pulled in between your teeth. Sliced.

“Us.”

Fresh cucumber wet your nose. Beside you, Emma and Rose were chopping away, as if they didn’t sense the impending mushroom cloud just meters beyond the walls.

“Yes. For our baby!” A ripple of laughter through the group. Then silence smothered the air.

Slice.

“I mean, look at everything everyone’s brought for us.”

Kylo Ren said nothing. The sound of your rocking blade was thunder in your ears as it hit the board.

Slice.

“We’ve, uh, actually been joking that it’s a boy. That he’s going to have my manners.”

Only a few women forced a laugh.

“But don’t worry!” Rustling of something, like paper. “We said he’ll have your looks.”

Still not a word. This time, not a single mouth managed a noise.

Slice.

“Well?” Johana breathed a mock-sigh. “It’s our baby! Aren’t you excited, Sir?”

No response.

“Commander?”

Slice. Slice.

“Sir--”

“This is over.”

Your breath stalled and the knife slipped--you hissed, dropped it in pain. A sliver of blood leaked from your thumb.

“What?” A tentative snort of disbelief. “What’s over?”

“You. Me. All of this.”

A choked laugh--none of the other Wives made a sound. “Ky--Commander. What?”

Rose and Emma paused, too, staring at you. Face tingling with flames, you were unwilling to meet their eyes--you glanced around the kitchen, seeking out a towel. Red drops speckled the cutting board.

“I want everyone out of this house. I want you gone by the weekend.”

Your hands trembled, littering the counter with blood. Breath failed to find your lungs.

“Gone? You can’t… you can’t be seri--”

“Out. Now.”

The Marthas muttered something to you, their voices muffled by the hammering of your heart. Part of you was stuttering in disbelief that your Commander was actually doing this. The other part was busy filing its nails, having predicted this the second the doctor slapped your thigh with the news. Behind you, you heard the Wives filing out, whispering to themselves as they fled through the door. Meanwhile, you flitted around the kitchen, thumb curled into your fist in an attempt to staunch the flow, still unable to find a single goddamn piece of cloth.

“Hey.” Rose grabbed your shoulder, shoved a dish towel into your chest. “I was trying to give you this.”

Your lids widened, and you nodded in thanks, thumb throbbing as you fumbled to swathe it closed. The last Wife shut the door behind her, your breath shallowed. The parlour room was quiet. A frustrated, feminine sigh.

“I mean. What do you expect me to say? Are you serious?”

A dark crimson daub blossomed through the cloth. You needed to get a fucking bandage. Those were all the way in the washroom. Past the parlour room.

“Yes.”

Johana huffed. “And where exactly do you expect me to go?”

“I don’t care.”

Another pause. You and the Marthas had ceased moving, ceased talking--only in awe of the crumbling foundation of your home.

“How do you--”

“You have until the end of the weekend to collect your belongings.”

“Kylo, that’s only four--you asshole, where are you going--”

His steps disappeared into the home, turning the corner toward the staircase. You stood there, for a moment, squeezing your thumb in its makeshift tourniquet, each of you looking to the others.

Emma bared her teeth in a strained grimace. “Is he really kicking out his--”

A piercing screech ripped through the air, followed by a tearing of paper, the toppling noise of boxes, hollow wood, piles of clothes hitting the floor. Second later, a feral growl clawed out of Johana’s chest, her little feet shaking the ground as she stomped through the halls. You looked between the Marthas and your thumb.

“I’m going to, um, take this chance and grab a bandage.”

They said nothing, urging you on, and you tip-toed through the halls, wary of crossing either your Commander or his Wife, neither of whom you wanted to see or speak to in this particular moment, each for their own reasons. You passed the parlour room--Johana’s gifts were terrorized, spewed across the room in busted heaps. The little sweater was entombed by a set of boxes, the mobile fractured on the floor.

It made sense, of course, that this would be his response--Johana’s presence threatened your own. As long as she laid claim to your child, your life was irrelevant. And while you didn’t feel bad for her shattered delusion, you knew that her only liferaft in Gilead’s storm had now been engulfed and drowned by the tidal wave of Kylo Ren. Barring her life, there was nothing more for her to lose.

Head spinning, you continued to the washroom, ready to turn the corner, only to be paralyzed by the sound of Johana’s voice, serrated like a predator wail, shredded as you had never, ever heard it before.

“We’re not finished yet, Kylo!”

You heard him stop, and you whirled around, pressing your back to the wall, holding your breath. She’d caught him at the bottom of the staircase.

“Move.”

“No.”

“Johana.”

“No! What the actual hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?”

“I might ask the same of you.”

“Oh, can it, smart ass. You think you can kick me out and still expect me to treat you like my husband?” A disgusted laugh. “You’re more delusional than I took you for.”

“Delusional.”

Johana deepened her voice in mockery. “Delusional--yes, delusional. This is Gilead, Kylo. The nation you helped found? There are laws. You can’t dispose of your Wife for your--God, I don’t know--little pet!”

“Careful.”

“Or what?” she asked. “What, you’ll, you’ll--humiliate me again? Order me in the middle of a party to leave the only home I’ve known for three years in front of my friends?” She laughed again. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Move--”

“Don’t! Touch me!” she screeched. “How do you see this working out? Huh? Do you see yourself telling the Council your plans to divorce your Wife, something Gilead doesn’t even allow? Do you see them letting you play house with your Handmaid?”

“Don’t assume my plans.”

“Please! It’s so obvious how obsessed with her you are. You don’t even need eyes to see it.” She grunted. “Don’t touch me.”

“Then move.”

“Moden still has friends in the Council,” she said. “When they hear about what you’re doing, it’ll be over for you! And you know what that means? It’ll be over for her, too.” The sound of shuffling. Coming toward you. “Get back here--”

Adrenaline erupted, and you darted off, skittering like a squirrel down the hall and dipping into the parlour. Throwing yourself against the entry wall, you sucked in a breath to silence yourself in hopes they would pass the archway and miss you entirely. Your pulse throbbed in your thumb, blood pumping into the towel, soaking to your skin.

Kylo’s tromping feet barreled forward, but you heard Johana on his tail--the sound of a squeal, a grumble, the squeak of a spinning heel.

“Johana--”

“Do you have any idea how long I defended you? How many excuses I made for you? Do you know I used to fucking feel bad for you? And you’re kicking me out?” That squawking laughter escaped her. “You’re demented!”

“I was generous to give you four days. You tempt me to make it four seconds.”

“Go ahead. You’ll be stuck here with her, and she’ll hate you too, just like I do, just like your parents did, just like everyone in the world fucking hates you!”

Something slammed the wall, and you jumped, clapping your hand over your mouth, towel flopping to the floor.

“Punch all the holes you want!” she snarled. “You think just because you call yourself Kylo Ren that you’re not the same pathetic asshole that Ben Solo was, you’re wrong--you haven’t changed, and you never fucking will. It’s no wonder they fucking sent you away!”

“Get out.”

“Oh, go ahead and try.”

“Get--”

Johana screamed, and a sharp smack, skin on skin.

“Serves you right, asshole! Fuck you!” She leapt into your line of sight, snatched the mobile from the floor, unaware you were behind her, and cracked the wooden frame in half, brandishing the broken rod like a sword. “I swear to God, if you try to touch me I’ll--”

Her eyes caught you in the periphery. You froze.

Chest cycling with rapid breath, she crystallized, gaze flashing between you and her husband beyond the archway. Tawny locks of hair curled out like smoke from her scalp, face flush with fury, her chin trembling as she drew a long breath into her lungs. For a moment, she held it there, and exhaled, shoulders sagging, fingers loosening, the mangled mobile clattering to the floor. Johana trapped you in her stare, inspecting you inch by inch, until her face fell, eyes flooding with fat, wet tears.

She nodded, focusing past the threshold. “Okay. I’ll leave. But not until the weekend.” Chewing her lip, she glanced at her feet, then back to you. “I give up,” she said softly. “You won.”

You wanted to tell her that the only thing you’d won was a fatherless child. But she tore out of the room, a whirlwind of empty apologies shrinking like shucked leaves on your tongue.

Shaking, you looked to your thumb, pulsing with pain; creeks of blood stained your sleeve. One footstep, and another, and your Commander crossed into the parlour room, dressed in his boots, black slacks, a matching dress shirt. His hair was washed and wavy, his face free of shadow, a pink mark on his cheek. For all of Johana’s mistakes, you couldn’t justify this particular punishment she’d received--and yet, your heart clenched in his presence. You were afraid you would never stop loving him.

He examined you, his lid twitched when he spotted your still-weeping wound. Frowning, he stepped toward you. “You’re bleeding.”

Jaw tight, you retreated, glaring at him. “I know.”

“Come.” He reached for you. “You need a bandage.”

“No, I don’t.” You dodged, snagged the towel from the floor and circled around him, his eyes shimmering with shielded grief, following you until you met the archway. “I’ll let it bleed.”

Kylo Ren said your name--but you had escaped to the hallway with the towel around your thumb, unable to stay, unwilling to hear what came next. Your appetite had disappeared. In the dash to your room, you passed Ushar by the annex staircase, but he did not follow you up the steps. Instead, he remained a statue, stoic as you fled, a red wraith of rage, behind your door.

#kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren #kylo trash #little bird #handmaid au #fanfiction problems #just a lot of feelings i guess

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minniemixe · 4 years

Text

Beauty And The Beast

Gangster AU

Stray Kids Fanfic

Chan x Reader

Other Appearances: GOT7 BTS

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Angst, Blood, Death, Voilence, Language, Smut, Homosexuality, Making out

Beauty and the Beast Masterlist

Chapter 7

“YOU!!!” Moon exclaimed, eyes wide open “Uhhh hi” he awkwardly smiled trying to avoid eye contact “Wait, you two know each other?” Mavis asked, pointing between the two “In this moment I wish I didn’t” Moon grumbled “Oh feelings are mutual” he whispered under his breath “C’mon sis, he’s a nice guy, he treats me really good” Mavis tried to lighten the mood “Yeah? By lying to you?” Moon said “What do you mean?” Mavis asked “Didn’t you just say that you’re the only one he sleeps with?” Moon raised a brow “Ba -Mavis let me explain, it’s not-I-” “Don’t, just, don’t.” Mavis said calmly “Bu-” he started “Give it up. And with all due respect. Get lost” Moon glared at him “I’m sorry” he whispered before walking away, seconds later the door closed

“You okay?” Moon asked cautiously “I’m hungry, what about you?” Mavis simply replied “Yeah, what are you having?” “I came back yesterday, my fridge is empty, wanna order takeout? Or do you prefer going out?” “I’m good with anything. Whatever you prefer, I came to spend time with you” Moon smiled “Let’s go out, it’s been long.” Mavis said enthusiastically “Yeah last we went was my 18th birthday, I’m turning 23 at the end of this year” “Gosh you’re an oldie and still a virgin” Mavis stuck her tongue out “Yeahwellunlikeyouatleastimnotsingle” Moon grumbled under her breath “I have no idea what you said there but I’m gonna assume that was you complaining about not being able to fulfil all your kinky and dark not to mention sadistic fantasies” she said running away “Get back here you little shit” Moon said chasing after her

“I’ll call the Uber, where are we going?” Mavis said “No need, I have a car” Moon said dangling the car keys in front of her sister’s face “About time you got one. Late night sisters drives are long overdue” Mavis said walking out the door “Don’t get too excited, it’s my boyfriend’s” Moon replied as the two got in the elevator “When the heck did you get a boyfriend” “Yesterday” “And you’re already using his car. Is he your boyfriend or sugar daddy?” Mavis spoke sarcastically “You do realize that’s not how sugar daddies work right” “But you’re not denying it” Mavis wiggled her brows “I really can’t with you” Moon shook her head “Damn, the guy owns an Audi, no wonder he’s your boyfriend” Mavis spoke dramatically “What do you take me for?” “Gold digger?” her sister replied more of a question “I’m not you” Moon simply said getting in the car, her sister following suit “Where are we going though?” “Like old times” Moon replied driving away

“I still can't believe the ice-cream machine was broken” Mavis complained as the two sisters sat on the car’s hood parked on the hill “It’s McDonalds, what did you expect” Moon shrugged “Don’t even know at this point” she laughed “Hey! At least we got the chocolate shake” Moon nudged her sister, taking a bite of her burger “Yeah” she laughed. A comfortable silence filled the air as the two admired the city view from the hilltop “So how long have you had a boyfriend and why was I not informed about this” Mavis striked up a conversation “Since when do I report back to you?” Moon replied sarcastically “I’m just saying, he’s your first boyfriend, and as your sister, I should be the first one to know” “You’re making me sound like a nerd” Moon whined “Well it is true, you’ve always had your nose in computers and games, never really went out and had fun” “I preferred it that way” she shrugged “Too much internet and violent video games have not done you any good” “Excuse me” Moon said an octave higher “You’re like the female version of Christain Grey and please don’t get me started on how you explained to Nay what you’d do to your supposed enemies” Mavis shivered “You should know the reason” “I do, but that’s not you, you’re just letting it get to your head” “I wish that was true but it’s not. I even scare myself sometimes. These thoughts and urges, it’s fucking crazy, I’m a monster” “Would you ever hurt me? Would you hurt mom, Nay, or anyone dear to you for that matter?” “Why are you asking tha-” “You won’t, that’s the answer. You care, you care so much. I know you think you don’t, that you’re just a heartless monster, but I know you’re not. You pretend that you don’t care, but you do, you show others that their words or actions don’t hurt, but deep down you know that’s not the case. You’re not a monster, you’re my sister, you’re the responsible caring adult who’s always been there no matter what. You’re a warrior if anything, I love you. Please don’t ever call yourself a monster. You’re not. If anything, he’s the monster” Mavis said gripping her sister’s hand tightly “But I want to hurt people. I want to watch them suffer” “Who? The ones who’ve wronged you? So what, it’s only natural, who doesn’t want to watch such people suffer” “But I-” “No buts. You know I’m right” “I guess you are, I mean you got the sadistic part right” Moon smirked “I- dear lord” “I blame Fifty Shades of Grey for that” Moon shrugged “Well you are the female version of Christain Grey so yeah” “Hhmm, you’re not wrong, I guess the only difference is that, I not only want to inflict pain, I want it to be inflicted on me as well. And much much worse than the movie. I want to feel that pain, as fucked up as it sounds, I find that pain pleasurable, more so than the sensual touches” Moon explained “You’re saying that like you’ve experienced it” Mavis looked at her confused. “Maybe I have” Moon simply shrugged thinking back to all the training sessions she had with Chan. How being punched and thrown around by Chan was much more exciting than the brief touches on her bare waist when he’d help her. “I’m not even gonna ask” Mavis looked away “Hey you’re the one who called me Christian grey, I’m just agreeing with you by stating facts” “Exactly why you shouldn’t worry about anything” “I’m confused” “You’re agreeing with me. Yeah Christian Grey was a sadist, he had issues, but once he got it out of his system, met the right person, he overcame it. He realized he was a better person. And just like him, once you get it out of your system, maybe you’ll feel better. And one day, someone will come along, who’ll accept you the way you are and won’t care about your issues, rather help you” Mavis explained. Moon just looked at her sister, surprised at the fact that everything she said indeed made sense. “When did you get so smart?” Moon nudged her, laughing “One of us has to when the other won’t” Mavis stuck her tongue “Not so fast there, I haven’t interrogated you yet” “What for?” Mavis asked confused “Let’s start from, where you met that duffer” Moon said “Oh him? We met at a club, one too many drinks led to a wild night” “And just like that, you decided to become friends with benefits?” “Not really, we exchanged numbers and carried on with our lives, occasionally hooking up. Hooking up turned into hanging out. He was really a sweet guy. It was a nice friendship until he confessed an-” “HE CONFESSED?” Moon exclaimed “Let me finish. I rejected him, saying I wasn’t interested in relationships. Pretty clishĕ if you ask me. At first it was awkward but then we simply forgot about it, I really thought our friendship was going somewhere. He told me he wanted to ‘officially’ become friends with benefits where we’d only sleep with other, but apparently he lied” she explained “Did he ever bring up his feelings again?” Moon asked “By his actions, all the time, he got possessive sometimes, other times, he would do sweet things. Verbally, once, when he showed up drunk to my apartment. But he was too wasted to remember anything the next morning so I kept my mouth shut. I was thinking of giving him a chance though. I felt too bad for rejecting him when he was so sweet to me” “I never knew he had the ability to be nice” Moon grumbled “I guess I made him wait too long, he got tired” Mavis sighed “No, NO, just no. You’re not taking the blame for this. You weren’t ready for something, he should’ve understood. And if he expected you to be loyal, then he should’ve been too. He’s the jerk here” “Jerk move, sure, but I wouldn’t call him a jerk” “Do you like him?” Moon asked seriously “Maybe, I just thought that maybe, for once someone was willing to accept me despite my flaws. I told him about dad. I never thought I’d open up about that to anyone but you. He was so amazing and understanding, and I couldn’t help it. I guess I ruined it by my stubbornness” Mavis said, as a tear rolled down her cheek “Are you crying? Mavis no, this isn’t your fault” she said getting closer to Mavis, hugging her “I just, dad’s behaviour always got to me and I always thought that if my own father never wanted me, how could someone else”. Moon’s blood boiled with anger, she wanted to just march up to the man and kill him, but she couldn’t knowing that her sister had feelings for the said man “I know the feeling, trust me I know. Why do you think I was single all this time, I thought the same thing. But once I let it go, it got a little easier, not much but a little bit. Stop thinking about dad, honestly, I know it's easier said than done, but let it go. You’ve come so far, don’t let him bring you down” Moon said stroking Mavis’s hair “You think he’ll come back?” she asked “I don’t know, if he really has strong feelings for you, he might” Moon answered looking away “Oh no, I know that look, don’t you dare, you’re not getting involved in this” Mavis said sternly “He made you cry, I’m gonna kill him, try and stop me” “I’ve been sensitive these days, I cry over everything. Don’t hurt him please” “He’s still getting a piece of my mind” Moon glared “Just let him stay in one piece” “I’ll try. No promises” “Of all days, you had to visit today” Mavis shook her head, making Moon laugh.

Moon had dropped Mavis back at her apartment and was now parked outside her place. She was happy to have spent time with her sister but she couldn’t help but let her emotions get the better of her. Taking a deep breath, Moon calmed herself, knowing that if she got emotional, the situation would get worse than it needed to be. However calming down seemed to be a failed option, because as soon as she stepped foot in the living room, her blood boiled. Snatching the fruit knife from Anna’s hand Moon leaped at Hyunjin, she pushed him onto the couch and put the knife against his throat, “Give me one good reason,why I shouldn’t kill you right now” she gritted, glaring at him “I-” he started “This better be good Hwang, my control is at its peak” “Moon, what is this about” Minho asked “Stay out of it, I swear anyone gets in my way, I won’t hesitate to-” her voice cracked. Moon knew she was scared, scared of what she’d do if she lost control, scared she’d do something she’d regret for the rest of her life. And everyone could see it. “Moon, please calm down, don’t do something rash” Bree said cautiously moving towards her “But he-” “Whatever he did, I’m sure you guys can talk it out. Doing this will only hurt you, put the knife down, he’s hurt” El spoke pointing at Hyunjin’s bleeding neck “Not as much as my sister” she gritted, her knuckles turning white from the tight grip on the knife “What’s going on?” Chan questioned as he, Seungmin and Jeongin entered the living room “I’m sorry” Hyunjin said barely above a whisper “Why? I don’t understand. I know you, or at least I thought I did” Moon asked, her grip loosening “I couldn’t help it” he said avoiding eye contact “WHat the hell is going on? Moon put the knife down” Chan ordered “Stay out of this Chan, you don’t know what’s going on” Moon replied harshly “No I will NOT. You’re hurting my brother” Chan said moving forward, grabbing Moon’s wrist “But he hurt my sister, I’m sure you would’ve done the same” Moon glared at Chan “And you! She really thought you were different from the other asshats she’d been with. She even opened up to you, and you just-and the worst part is she blames herself. I hope you feel great about yourself” Moon looked at Hyunjin. She forcefully released her wrist from Chan’s grip, threw the bloody knife at his feet and stormed out. Hyunjin let out a breath and buried his head in his hands. “I’ll go talk to her” Chan spoke and left

"Care to explain?" Chan snapped at Moon as soon as he entered her room "Chan please leave me alone, I'm not in the mood" she replied lying on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling "You almost killed Hyunjin, and you expect me to just leave you alone, I'm not going anywhere without an explanation" "The only person who deserves an explanation right now is me, from Hyunjin. Once we clear it up, you'll know" she sat up glaring at him "Whatever the case, you had no case to be insensitive towards him" "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, all I asked was for an explanation, there was nothing insensitive about it" she said, her voice raising "You said it to his face that he'd never understand since he was an only child" "The fuck Bang?! I never said that" "When you said and I quote 'But he hurt my sister, I’m sure you would’ve done the same'. Isn't that what you were insinuating?" He raised a brow "Are even hearing yourself right now? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? I WOULD NEVER. I ONLY SAID IT TO YOU, SO YOU'D BACK OFF" she shouted at him "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUBBORN?" "I'M NOT BEING STUBBORN, MY SISTER CRIED BECAUSE OF HIM, AND WORST PART IS THAT SHE BLAMED HERSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP WHATEVER THE TWO HAD, AND YOU JUST EXPECT ME TO SIT AROUND. TELL ME CHRIS, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?" “OH GOSH YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER" regret took over him just as fast as those words left his mouth. In the two and half years of knowing each other, Moon had never shown emotions this clearly. She was good at masking her emotions. As soon as those words left his mouth, Moon's eyes twitched and the amount of hurt present in her eyes shook Chan to the core. But as quickly as the emotions flashed in her eyes, they disappeared just as quick. Her eyes turned ice cold, just like they had been when she started living with them. "Moon I-" he started "I get it. Don't, you have nothing to explain, I've known it all along. No matter how much I want to deny it, his blood indeed runs through my veins. So thank you Chris for clearing it up for me." His name sounding foreign "That's not what I me-" he couldn't finish his sentence, Moon had walked out past him.

After the fight broke between Moon and Chan, things had been very weird. She didn’t necessarily ignore anyone or was rude, just distant. It was like the days when she had joined, barely talked to anyone and just did what was asked of her, she never missed her training sessions or when they had to go out for missions. “Hey!” said Jisung as he entered the kitchen “Hey” Moon replied from the stool she was sitting on “What are you doing?” he asked taking a seat next to her peeking at her laptop screen “Uh no-nothing” she stuttered trying to hide the screen from him. It was too late, he had already seen the screen and his eyes were blown wide. Unfortunately for Moon, Hyunjin had entered the kitchen just in time to see Jisung’s bewildered expression. “You’re leaving?” Jisung asked, barely above a whisper “She’s what?” Hyunjin asked “Leaving” Jisung answered loudly this time “Why?” Hyunjin questioned “It’s complicated, I can’t stay here” she answered vaguely “Were you going to tell us or were just gonna leave” Jisung looked at her with sad doe eyes “I’m sorry, I thought it would’ve been best if I left quietly, I don’t want anyone to talk me out of it” contrary to her claim, her decision was wavering just by looking at the sad expression on Jisung’s face. Hyunjin decided to exit the scene, not wanting to anger Moon by voicing his opinion. Ever since that day, he had tried to steer clear of Moon, even though her anger had cooled down and she was feeling extremely guilty for blowing up on him like that. Hyunjin wanted to apologize to her and just clear everything up but he knew if he brought up the topic, Moon would want an explanation, something he couldn’t bring himself to give. “Sung please don't make that face, you know I can’t resist it” she smiled weakly at him “I’m not doing it on purpose, I can’t bear the fact of you leaving, or any of us for that matter, if they found out” he replied “Please don’t tell them. I don’t want to create a scene” she pleaded “Why not, they deserve to know” “I know, I know, I’ll tell them when the time comes. I still have 4 months. For now just pretend you don’t know, that you never saw this” “Can I atleast know why” “It’s complicated, lets just say me staying will only hurt you guys, I’m unstable” she sighed “Why? Because you shouted at Hyunjin, or how you killed that man 3 days ago? You think those things make you unstable? Moon, you’re a fucking gangster, and you acting like one isn’t ‘unstable’. Ask anyone they’ll say the same thing” “It’s not just that, its-” she started “Hyunjin? Look I don’t know what happened between him and your sister, but I know for a fact that your reaction was justified. I know he would’ve done the same. He probably even would've killed, you didn’t, you were scared, you know that, we all could see it. You’re just scared that you might lose control” Jisung spoke “But doesn’t that make me unstable? Not knowing when I might lose it, what I might end up doing. I don’t want any of you near me if that ever happens, I’m afraid of becoming the monster I’ve always feared” “I get you, I can’t understand your reasons, but I get where you’re coming from. Everything you’ve been through, obviously it had an effect on you, but in the end it’s up to you isn’t it. It’s up to you to make you. Are you going to let your past define you? Are you going to let someone else’s mistakes take control of your actions? You can’t let your past control your present and ruin your future. I know it's easier said than done but Moon, you’re not alone, not anymore” “Do you really think I can get better? Do you think I can get rid of that hatred inside me? The hatred I have for myself” Moon asked, eyes desperate. Even she didn’t know what the desperation was for but it was there. “You can.” Hyunjin answered from behind her before Jisung could say anything “Were you eavesdropping?” Jisung asked “Sorry I couldn’t help it, I wanted to leave but I wanted to know the reason” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck “It’s okay, I’m glad you were listening, I don’t want you thinking I’m leaving because of you” Moon smiled at him “Everything you’re feeling, I know it, I know it all too well” Hyunjin said taking a seat next to the two “What do you mean?” she asked him confused “Hatred, the hatred you have for yourself. There must be a reason for it, do you know it?” Hyunjin questioned “I-I don’t know, I guess I just hate myself for being my father’s daughter. For having his blood run through my veins, the blood that makes me the same as him. I hate myself for hurting people, especially the ones I’m close to” she replied “Who have you ever hurt to make yourself hate you” Jisung said “I hurt you, if I had better control, maybe things would’ve been different, maybe Chan and I wouldn’t have fought. He was right you know, when he said I’m just like my father, but the tragic part is, I’m so much worse than him.” Moon replied looking at Hyunjin “Not necessarily, ultimately that’s for you to decide” Jisung spoke “How come?” Moon asked “His blood may run through your veins but it doesn’t define you, that blood doesn’t decide your actions for you. You’re the one who has control over them, your blood doesn’t determine your personality, it doesn’t represent you as a person, that again is up to you, you’re the one who has the power to define yourself, not his blood” Hyunjin said “That’s the thing, I don’t have control, even if I had it, it’s falling out of my grasp” “That’s it. You’ve practically figured it out, you just need to dig a little deeper and you’ll be there” Jisung pointed out “What do you mean?” she asked confused “Control. You said you had it but now you’re losing it. There must be a reason, you held on for so long, why is it now that you’re losing it, something must’ve triggered it” Jisung explained “Come to think of it, that makes sense” Moon spoke, lost in thought “Do you think you know what might have caused it?” Jisung asked “Me” Hyunjin spoke before Moon could answer “No, I admit you could’ve been the one to trigger my pent up anger but it wasn’t you” Moon said putting the puzzle pieces together “You seemed pretty scary though” Hyunjin chuckled “Sorry” Moon smiled sheepishly “No it’s alright, you had every reason to, I’d have done the same” Hyunjin said “Do you know the reason then?” Jisung questioned “I think so” Moon said “What could it be” Hunjin asked, Moon sighed before speaking “A few years back someone tried to rape me” Moon closed her eyes trying to ignore the horid memories “Hey, you don’t have to talk about it, it’s alright” Hyunjin squeezed her hand “No, it’s alright. It’s time I let it out. I’ve held onto it for so long, thinking I could forget it, but I never could, it’s always at the back of my mind. Maybe if I do this, I’ll finally be able to let it go” she answered “Don’t push yourself, I know the feeling all too well. If you can’t, we completely understand” Hyunjin softly smiled at her “Thanks, it’s alright” Moon smiled, taking a deep breath she started explaining “That’s why I guess I was angry, I saw him the day I decided to visit my parents and everything just came crashing back, he completely ruined my life and disappeared into thin air. And then he had the audacity to walk back into my house claiming he has feelings for me. If Chan wasn’t there I’d have killed him” Moon finished “As you should’ve, the bastard deserved it” Jisung spoke “Seeing him again triggered all those suppressed feelings?” Hyunjin asked “Yeah and it was fucked up and I felt angry at myself because I spent years looking for him, eventually giving up. But he showed up at my house so easily” “Who showed up where?” Seungmin asked as he entered the kitchen “Long story dude, you came here too late” Moon laughed “But just in time, help us convince her into staying” Hyunjin said “SHE’S LEAVING” Seungmin shouted “Why don’t you announce it on a loudspeaker” Moon spoke sarcastically “Sorry but what the hell is going on” Seungmin asked “Take a seat, you’re in for a long one” Moon said gesturing to one of the empty bar stools near her seat. “I can help you find him. I mean it’s better if more than one person does it, odds are we might be able to locate him that way” Seungmin said once the three explained the whole story to him. “Yeah and you don’t have to leave either, I’m sure together we’ll work something out” Jisung said “That’s sweet of you, and I’ll think about it. Thank you guys, I really needed that” Moon smiled at the three boys “Ofcourse, and if you ever need to talk about anything we’re always here. That’s what family is for” Hyunjin smiled at her “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries here, but what happened between you and Chan, the two of you have been really weird lately” Seungmin questioned “Uhm, I’m not sure, we kinda argued and I guess we haven’t talked much since then” Moon shrugged “You seem a lot distant from him lately, did he say something?” Jisung asked “Nothing big, it was just a little argument and he wasn’t wrong either, he only defended you” she smiled looking at Hyunjin “There really wasn’t anything to defend me on, what I did was wrong” Hyunjin said “Well at first I thought so too but I guess I was unintentionally insensitive, so he was right” she said “When?” Seungmin aksed “When I told Chan he’d do the same if it was his sister, I was kinda just throwing it in his face that he wouldn’t understand since he was an only child. I was quite angry so I didn’t realize I was being disrespectful and I kinda fought Chan because of that as well, but when I calmed down, I realized I was wrong as well” she explained “I can see why he was so worked up” Jisung mumbled “What?” she asked not quite catching what he said “What happened between your sister and I was partially because I’m an only child” Seungmin and Jisung looked at him wide eyed as soon as those words left his mouth “I take full responsibility, what I did was really messed up but I guess I couldn’t help it. It’s just that for the first time I felt that someone was willing to have something with me other than a sexual relationship. I felt comfortable with her and I felt accepted despite my flaws, so somewhere along the line, I started developing feelings. I was- actually am willing to wait for her but I guess my urge and guilt took better of me and I couldn’t stay true to my word” Hyunjin continued. “What do you mean guilt? And what did you mean by ‘because of being an only child’?” she questioned. Hyunjin took a deep breath before talking “I had a twin sister” he said “Hyun, you don’t have to-” Seungmin started “It’s okay, maybe like Moon said holding onto it isn’t going to help” Hyunjin smiled “There’s no pressure, I can sense this something sensitive” Moon said “No it’s okay” He smiled and took a deep breath before speaking “Ever since I was young, I was always complimented on my looks, it was flattering at first but then it got annoying and offending too at times. Like how people would say I can do anything because of my looks or how I could simply make money by modeling or something like that and didn’t need to study. They even went to the point where they said that if I couldn’t get into modeling agencies I could always become a pornstar. My sister Yeji, she was literally the only one who always supported me no matter what. She did have similar problems but people were never extreme about it since she was a lot smarter than I was. Jiji and I had a very special bond, not just physical but emotional as well. We always knew if something was wrong with the other. Even physically, if one of us was hurt the other would know immediately. I loved dancing but no one really took me seriously, whenever I’d be practicing, people would often come to me saying, I didn’t need to work so hard because any agency would accept me based on my looks. And God did I fucking hate it. Yeji however was very sassy and was always quick to defend me. She was the one who motivated me into becoming a trainee. Apart from Yeji, the boys were the only true friends I had. I met them back in highschool and they were also very supportive of me having a dance career. They even covered for me when I was missing school because of my trainee schedule. During the end years of my high school I had a very good chance of a solo debut. I was so ecstatic, I felt like I could conquer the world. But life's a bitch and is full of surprises. A fellow trainee of mine was having a hard time with her dancing and asked me to help out. I obviously didn’t think much of it and agreed. For about three weeks we trained together, and we got really close as well. She was the first girl I ever had feelings for. More time in training, she confessed and I really thought nothing could go wrong, but boy was I wrong. The night I lost my virginity to her was the night everything went down. While I was asleep, she took some indecent photos and leaked them on purpose. Later I found out it was all just a fucking joke. My debut was cancelled and my agency terminated my contract. Apparently she and her friends had betted on who could get the hottest trainee to help them with their dance. Bitch thought it would be funny and then betted on getting me into bed. Later when I asked her why she leaked our pictures, she simply said it was a prank and didn’t think it was a big deal anyway. She said and I quote ‘You’re so good looking anyway, it shouldn’t be a problem for you to get into other agencies’. That’s when I gave up. I thought it was pointless, I closed myself off from everyone then just used my body to my pleasure, it was what I was good at apparently. Yeji really pushed me into trying out for a new agency but I had already made up my mind. Then Chan asked us to join his gang and I didn’t really have much to do so I thought why not. Yeji gave up her dream for me as well. I told her not to but she never listened. I promised myself I’d give her everything because of all the things she had done for me. I wanted to give her the world yet I couldn’t even protect her. It was my fault. Every single thing was my fault. If I hadn’t trusted him, if I had my phone with me that night. I’d have known something was up if only I wasn’t-” and he completely broke down, crying loudly. Jisung hugged his body close to his own, whispering soothing things all while his own tears fell down his cheeks. Moon and Seungmin weren’t any better, both were crying looking at Hyunjin’s shaking figure. “It wasn’t your fault, none of us could’ve known he was a spy” Seunmin spoke “But, I could’ve still saved her if I ha-” “Hey, some times, we think that if you were to do something different the outcome could be changed. But if given a chance to redo it, something else would happen and the outcome would remain the same. Some things are just not in our control.” Moon cupped Hyunjin's face to comfort him

3 Years Ago

“HWANG HYUNJIN, YOU’RE SO DEAD!!!” Yeji shouted on top of her lungs, soaking head to toe “Catch me if you can” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and ran inside locking the backdoor “I’m not having any of your bullshit today” she gritted before taking the gun out and shooting at the door handle “BITCH, ARE YOU CRAZY” he shouted running away from her angry figure “YOU’RE NOT ESCAPING TODAY” she shouted following after him “AAAAHHHHHHH, YOU’RE AN ANIMAL, WHAT THE HELL” Hyunjin shouted running towards his room. “Just you wait, I’ll make you regret that” she said getting closer to him “Woman calm down” he said getting inside his room and locking it “Open the door you asshole” Yeji banged on the door repeatedly “Oi language, I’m older than you” Hyunjin laughed from the inside “By 20 minutes, open the door or else” she said “Or else what” he teased “You better run” she said shooting the door handle again “Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with you today” he said grabbing her from behind locking her in his arms as she entered the room “Let me go idiot, I’m really not in the mood” Yeji said wiggling in his hold “Not until you tell me what’s bothering you” he said, rocking her side to side. Yeji sighed relaxing in his arms “Can’t I go with you” she asked “Jiji, you know you can’t. The more people, the more dangerous it gets” Hyunjin said, guiding her to his bed “But why, isn’t there another way, where no one goes. It’s dangerous as it is” Yeji sighed “If there was, we’d do that. Now cheer up. Everything is going to be alright” he patted her soaking head “But you better not get hurt.” Yeji warned. Hyunjin smiled, already feeling her mood lifting “Yes ma'am” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out, rummaging through his closet “Put these on” Hyunjin said throwing a pair of hoodie and sweatpants at her “Why the hell did you even think this was a good idea. I could get sick you know" Yeji asked "I made sure the water was warm so no need to worry your highness" Hyunjin replied sarcastically

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“Remind me again why I have to stay in the van?” Yeji asked Chan “Because it’s safer, besides they’re good company” Chan replied pointing towards Seungmin, Jeongin and Anna “You’re kidding right, even Liv is going. C’mon man, I’m not a kid” Yeji whined “I can stay with you if you want” spoke a voice from behind Chan “Dave, man I like you but that doesn’t mean I approve of you and my sister” Hyunjin spoke through the ear piece “C’mon man, don’t be like that” Dave replied laughing “Jiji, I need you out of harm's way, can’t risk you getting hurt, it’ll affect my mission as well” Hyunjin spoke “Boy you’re getting on my nerves” Yeji said sitting back in her seat understanding his concern "I think it's cool to have such a bond with someone" Anna striked up a conversation as the others left "It is but it's terrifying as well. Just feeling your heartbeat rise out of nowhere. Knowing something is up but not knowing what." Yeji replied "I can't imagine what's that like" Seungmin said "Honestly it's just heartache. I can actually feel my heart constrict when Hyunjin gets hurt. And it's so much worse when he's not near me." She replied "Aww Jiji, I didn't know you cared so much" Hyunjin spoke through the earpiece "Shut up. Get back in one piece so I can take care of you" Yeji scowled "I see you're still mad about the water incident" Hyunjin chuckled "Oh just you wait, I'll get you back so good, you'll never think of messing with me again" "That's what you always say" Hyunjin remarked "It must be cool to have a twin, all my brother does is treat me like a kid" Anna complained "You know I can hear you right?" Chan said through the earpiece "Good for you" she grumbled "Y'all should be lucky you're still together. I miss having this with Wonpil. We rarely see each other anymore" Seungmin said "Yeah wel-" Jeongin started "Hyunjin what's wrong?" Yeji said catching everyone's attention "Something doesn't seem right" Hyunjin replied "Jinnie I don't feel good about this, get out of there" Yeji said worriedly "I should be fine, no one knows who I am" Hyunjin said "Please be careful" "I always am princess" "Chan what's the update?" Jeongin asked "We've surrounded the building, no one should be able to get out undetected. Minho, Felix what's the status at the drop-off sight" Chan replied "Not sure, we're still waiting" Minho replied "Chan we're compromised. We might have to exit the building" Woojin said "What do you mean?" Bree asked "There are people coming up here, if we stay on the roof we'll be exposed" El replied "Dave, what's your position?" Jisung questioned "Saw someone exiting from behind the building, was tailing them" Dave replied "Did you identify the person" Liv asked "Male, 5'9, didn't see his face, lost him in the crowd" he replied "Seungmin, anything on the drones?" Changbin asked "Nothing, too suspiciously quiet" the younger told "Fuck!" Came Hyunjin's voice followed by gunshots "HYUNJIN!!!!" Yeji screamed "What's going on?" Chan asked alarmed "It was a fucking trap" Hyunjin said

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"They knew, I don't know how but they knew" Hyunjin said, now everyone back and alive "They probably saw it coming because of what happened 2 months ago" Chan deduced "Still, it doesn't make sense, how did they recognize me?" Hyunjin said confused "Did you see someone you've met before?" Minho asked "No. That's the alarming part." "Maybe someone was there, behind the cameras who recognized you? There is a possibility. Many of the top gangs were present there, so security was bound to be tight" Dave reasoned "Still, something doesn't seem right. This was very carefully planned, it seems too suspicious to have failed just like that" Yeji eyed Dave "We'll have to look into it. But for the meantime, lay low." Chan said, dismissing everyone

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"Ah fuck baby, just like that" Hyunjin moaned as the girl sunk down on his hard length. She whined grinding down on him. "C'mon baby, show me what you got" he groaned guiding her hips over his own. "Faster baby" Hyunjin breathed, thrusting up into her wet hole. "I'm so close sir" the girl moaned, riding him fast, chasing her high. "Cum for me baby" he groaned, desperate to reach his own high as well. "Fuck" he groaned feeling her clench around him tightly ."Ahh" the girl moaned, releasing around him, triggering his own orgasm. Hyunjin released in the latex with a deep groan, his thrusts slowing down as the overstimulation kicked in. Getting off of him, she lied down beside him as Hyunjin removed the soiled condom from his softening cock, discarding it in the bin. “Wanna go for another round in the shower” he asked, peppering her neck with kisses, she giggled looking at him and nodded. “Come on le-” He was cut off with Chan barging into the room “We nee-” “I’m in the middle of something” Hyunjin said pointing towards the naked girl beside him “It’s Yeji” Chan said, Hyunjin’s eyes went wide, finally realizing that his heartbeat was going crazy twenty minutes ago because of the bond he and his sister shared and not because of the pleasure. Getting up from the bed he apologized to the girl before quickly getting dressed and followed Chan. “What the hell happened and where is Dave?” Hyunjin questioned as the gang was gathered in the weapon room “He was a spy and he has Yeji.” Bree answered “Fucking bastard, I’m gonna rip him to shreds” Hyunjin gritted “We need to get her quickly. Hyunjin, you good?” Minho questioned “Yeah, she’s okay, but I can’t say that for long” he said strapping in his knives “I have the coordinates, let’s go” Jeongin said

“Jesus Christ, why is this taking so long? And why the hell didn’t she call, actually come to think of it, where is my phone anyway. Seungmin give me the coordinates” Hyunjin started blabbering due to the nervousness building up and snatched the GPS device from the younger’s hand “Hey Hyunjin calm down, we’ll get her yeah” Chan said trying to ease his worries “I fucking can’t, how could I have been so stupid. Aarrgghh” Hyunjin pulled at his hair. No one said anything because judging from his behaviour they could tell that something was very wrong on Yeji’s side. “Let’s hide the van there, Seungmin and Jeongin set up the drones, Cha-HyuNJIN WHAT THE HELL” Minho started but got cut off seeing Hyunjin jump out of the moving van as it slowed down. Hyunjin didn’t reply, he just ran until his body disappeared into the darkness. He stopped as the GPS pointed that he was where he needed to be "YEJI!! YEJI, WHERE ARE YOU? YEJIIIIIII" he shouted at top of his lungs trying to locate his sister "Ye-ah" he grabbed his chest as his heart started beating extremely fast and chest started aching "No, no, Yeji" he called kneeling on the pavement, hands clutching his chest as his breathing became laboured. Taking a deep breath he got up and let his legs take control, knowing he didn't need the GPS anymore to get to his sister. With every step he took, the pain in his chest intensified. He came to a halt seeing his sister's body lying on the cold hard ground with a knife deep in her chest. "No, no, Jiji, you can't, hey I'm here now, please open your eyes. Princess please. You can't" he cried cradling her body in his arms. "J-ji-jin-nie" Yeji choked feeling her brothers grip on her "Yeah, I'm here, stay with me hhmm" he said cradling her head with one hand while the other put pressure on her chest trying to reduce the bleeding around the weapon "Wh-why di-dn't y-you p-pi-p-ick up" she stuttered, coughing up blood "No no, sshh don't talk, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry" he said burying his head in her hair crying loudly. Yeji caressed her brother's hair one last time like she had been ever since they were young whenever he cried, until her body went cold and her hand went limp beside her lifeless body. "Jiji, Yeji wake up" Hyunjin shook her pale body "Ye-ah, ah." He clutched his chest as the pain suddenly increased until he couldn't take it anymore "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed on top of his lungs until his vision blacked and he passed out due to the pain.

Hyunjin opened his eyes and realized he was in his room, looking around he saw his members standing around him. "What hap-" he started when his eyes went wide "I can't feel her" he whispered touching his chest "Why can't I feel her, where is she? WHY CAN'T I FEEL HER, WHERE IS SHE. WHERE IS MY SISTER? WHY CAN'T I FEEL HER HEARTBEAT" Hyunjin screamed, tears streaming down his face. No one said anything, just stared at their best friend with heartbroken expressions, failing to keep their own tears in. He leapt off the bed and lunged forward at the leader "Tell me, tell me right now, where is she, she's in the infirmary right? She's just asleep right? She's gonna wake up soon, she's alright. It's just me. This can't be real, it can't be. Where is her heartbeat? Why can't I feel it, WHY CAN'T I FEEL IT CHAN?" He grabbed Chan's collar and buried his head in his chest crying loudly "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" the older cried, wrapping his arms around the younger male, trying to calm his shaking figure. "NOOOO PLEASE, NOOOOO AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" He fell to his knees crying loudly, mourning his sister's death.

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“Ever since that day, I've developed a habit of having sex too much. Deep down, I always hope that one day my heartbeat will increase like it did that day, or my phone will ring. But it doesn’t. That’s also the reason why I ended up sleeping with other people even though I told your sister I wouldn’t. And God I know it’s no excuse but I just want you to know that I never would’ve hurt your sister intentionally” Hyunjin sniffed, wiping his eyes, now calmer than before. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. And thank you for sharing your story, I’m sure it wasn't easy" Moon smiled at Hyunjin “The reason I shared it with you is because of the question you asked earlier" Hyunjin replied "What question?" She asked "When you asked if you could get rid of the hatred you have for yourself" Hyunjin replied "How?" Moon asked "Why do you hate yourself. Because you're your father's daughter. No that's not it, it's because you blame yourself. You blame yourself for not being able to get away from him and building yourself up how you wanted to. You think it was your fault you couldn't, because eventually your life is in your hands and how you live and shape it. But Moon, after hearing your side of the story, that's not the case. It will be if you decide to spend the rest of your life in self pity and giving yourself up into the life of your so-called blood. Your life was shit until you were given a chance to leave through the sports scholarship, what happened? Someone tried to force themselves on you, but you stayed strong and kept fighting. Yes you lost your chance at escaping your father how you originally wanted but why? Was it entirely your fault? No, partially yes, if you had opened up to your parents maybe things would've been different. But you'll never know. Who's fault was it if it wasn't entirely yours? Andre, if he hadn't drugged you that day, things would've been different. Okay, fine chapter closed, but that's not where it ends. You have still so much to do. You proved it yourself. You picked yourself up, decided to do something, sure you closed yourself off but did you just let yourself go? No, eventually you escaped your father. Maybe not how you wanted but you did. Again it doesn't end there. You thought you sold yourself for the sake of your mother's happiness but you didn't. You took an opportunity when it presented itself and you made the best of it. Each and everyone of us can see how much you've changed since you've joined. Like I said, your life didn't end there. You kept fighting. In that time, you ignored the blood in your veins and built yourself up how you wanted to. But why are you giving up now? You saw Andre again, and all that control threatened to break. The control that made you different from your worst fear. You don't hate yourself, you just blame yourself. Deep down, you want to finish Andre and you not being able to do it, that's what's taking a toll on you, you're constantly letting your anger show. And that is making you think you're what you fear. You hate Andre not yourself because of what he did. You only blame yourself and you're mistaking that for self hatred" Hyunjin explained. Moon just looked at him in awe, how did he figure it out in mere hours when she couldn't in many years "I know it's a lot to take in but that's what it is. How I know, because I'm in the same situation. Different story but same situation. My sister died. I may not have been able to save her but I wasn't the one to kill her either. I blame myself for her death, for so long I hated myself for it until I realized I hate the man who stabbed her. And I'm the one to blame for that, maybe if I was in a clearer headspace I could've got there sooner. But the past is past, we can't change it. It took me such a long time to realize that. What did I do to heal my scars, well avenge my sister's death. I'm gonna find that bastard and rip him to shreds. So Moon, if you think you staying here is dangerous because of who you think you are, no that's not the case. If you still wanna leave to figure everything out, I respect your decision and I support it. But just know that whenever you decide, we'll all be waiting here for you. Because you're our family now" Hyunjin hugged her close. "And we'll help you make Andre pay for what he did as well, you're not alone anymore" Seungmin spoke. "Thanks guys, this means so much to me. I feel so much better now" she said sniffing and wiping away her tears. "Well this was an emotional rollercoaster, let's give ourselves some space to think straight. And Moon, take your time and think rationally. Don't let anything cloud your judgement" Jisung said patting Moon's shoulder and left "He's right. Make a decision you know that is right. It doesn't matter what it is, we support you" Seungmin said and left as well. "Everything is going to be alright" Hyunjin squeezed Moon before leaving her in the kitchen with her thoughts

“C’mon you said the same thing last time as well” Jisung whined sitting on Minho’s bed “And I’m saying it again” Minho answered “But whyy, who else will I go with” “I don’t know, anyone really” Minho shrugged “Why are you being like this, are you mad at me. I swear it wasn’t me” Jisung raised his hands in surrender “Sungie do you even know what this is about? Because it most certainly is you” Minho joined him on the bed “Curse it, I wonder what I did this time” he said looking at Minho, his heartbeat rising due to the close proximity “You- oh fuck it” Minho spoke before joining his lips with Jisung’s. The younger male was caught off guard and remained still, completely shook. A few seconds later Minho pulled away due to not being kissed back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha-just leave, this is why I-” Minho started “Again” Jisung whispered, eyes wide looking at Minho with the utmost adoration “W-what” Minho stuttered “Kiss me, again.” Jisung said. Wasting no time, Minho joined their lips again. Jisung kissed back his hands grabbing Minho’s waist while the older pushed him back on the bed hovering over him without breaking the kiss. Swiping his tongue on Jisung’s bottom lips, Minho silently asked for entrance, Jisung gently parted his lips allowing their tongues to dance together. Minho’s hands went under Jisung’s shirt caressing his chest while the kiss deepened. Minho was the one to pull away first, lips swollen and a string of saliva connecting their lips. “God, you make me crazy” Minho whispered, diving back in to kiss him again, the feeling of Jisung’s soft lips against his own, driving him insane.

Moon was in her room thinking about the conversation she had with the three boys earlier. Was she going to leave, did she even want to. Countless questions filled her head, her attention was stolen from the familiar ding of her phone. She went to her closet to quickly change into a different set of clothes as soon as she saw the text. “Where are you going?” Chan asked as he saw Moon all dressed up exiting her room “Oh, Nay just texted me, we’re going out for a girls night, want some time to think about some things” Moon smiled at him walking away “Are you really leaving?” Chan grabbed her wrist turning her around, his eyes sad “I don’t know, maybe” she replied looking away from his gaze “I’m sorry” he whispered, releasing her wrist “What for?” Moon asked “For calling you-” “Chan, it’s the past, just forget it, I was not in my right mind either and I took it to heart. You don’t need to apologize” she cut him off “But-” “No buts, I’m over it, let it go.” she said “Are you still mad at me?” he asked “No, I never was, I just needed some space, I’m sorry if it came off like that” she said “No baby girl, you don’t have to, I understand. Have a fun night and stay safe” he smiled at her. Moon loved his smiles, the dimples poking out, eyes shining, making him look absolutely breathtaking. Instead of saying anything, she moved forward and kissed him. Chan kissed her back hands circling around her waist, he tilted his head to the side deepening the kiss as their tongues collided. “Let’s go on an official date when I come back” Moon said pulling away “I’d love that.” he said kissing her again. Kissing for a few minutes Moon pulled back much to her displeasure. “As much as I love kissing you, I have to go” she said stepping out of his embrace. Chan smiled at her and nodded.

“You seem happy” Woojin pointed out, everyone gathered in the living room having random conversations. Chan giggled like a five year old, his ears turning red. “He made out with Moon, of course he’s happy” Minho smirked “You don’t really get to say that you know, you aren’t any less happy, seeing you finally grew the balls to kiss Jisung” Changbin said, everyone's attention now on the new couple. Oohhs and aahhs thrown around as the two blushed furiously. “You’re one to talk, your dick gets hard everytime you se-mmphh” Changbin put his palm on Minho’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. “Well this just got more interesting” Felix high fived Seungmin “I wonder who has the ability to make Chanbin’s dick hard” El laughed “I say we all put on bets” Hyunjin suggested “You guys ar-” Changbin was cut off by the doorbell “Expecting anyone?” Chan asked “Yep, my weed stash is here” Minho said as Jeongin went to check “Hey guys” Nay said, entering the living room. Chan’s eyes went wide looking at her “Chan, you good, you look like you just saw a ghost” Anna asked “Aren’t you supposed to be with Moon for a girls night” Chan asked Nay “No, was I?” she replied confused “She said she was going out with you, where did she go?” Chan asked worriedly

A/N: I did proof read, but let me know if you find any typos

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snarkythewoecrow · 4 years

Note

Sorry if this is weirdly specific. Peter’s calorie counting app helps him relax. Tony’s not sure that’s healthy. Not an eating disorder prompt per se - more like Tony catching a troubling pattern early and trying to nip it in the bud.

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR EATING DISORDER*

Read on AO3

Peter checked the back of the crinkly cellophane wrapper, noting the calories. One hundred and fifty in just one of the two cakes in the package. That seemed like a lot for a measly mass-produced coffee cake barely the size of a plum. He started to regret eating it a little, but instead, he pushed the feeling aside, focusing on the numbers and logging them into the app on his phone.

It was a calorie tracking app, and he hadn’t meant to keep it past his initial experiments with his metabolism. Still, the habit he’d formed over those few months logging the data had become something of a comforting ritual. He liked the familiarity of it. It soothed his nerves. The simple process of recording each thing he ate helped calm him.

Today he’d already eaten nearly three thousand calories, and sickly, he realized most of them were from junk. He absently touched his stomach and poked his belly through his shirt. It didn’t feel soft, but that was probably only due to his insane metabolism and extracurricular activities.

Setting the phone down on his desk, he leaned back in his chair and looked out the window. It was still early enough he could go out, so snapping his chair back onto four legs, he hopped up and grabbed his suit from the closet, making quick work of changing. May wouldn’t be home for a few more hours. She’d had switched to the swing shift for the rest of the week, so she was at work until nearly midnight.

It turned out to be a quiet night, but he did stop a bike theft and saved a dog from being run over, so he called it a win. The kid whose dog he’d rescued gave him a Snickers in thanks, and Peter had taken it to a nearby roof to eat.

During his initial experiment where he logged his calories, he’d installed the program into Karen, syncing it to his phone, helping to keep track of the data. It was only supposed to be for six weeks, but that had gone out the window. Not even Tony knew he was still logging the calories. Honestly, it didn’t seem like a big enough thing to bring up. It seemed relatively harmless, almost like a game. There were a few times he’d challenged himself to go with the bare minimum of calories. It wasn’t like he did it to hurt himself. It had just become addictive in a way.

Sitting on the building's ledge, he twirled the candy bar in his hands and then stopped to examine the nutrition facts. It wasn’t good at all. It had two hundred and fifteen in just one bar. That made his stomach twist funny. It wasn’t the first time lately that he’d hesitated over something’s calorie count.

“Karen, can you bring up my logbook?”

“Sure, Peter.”

His daily and weekly totals showed on the HUD. He cringed at how much he’d already eaten.

“Thanks, Karen. I saw what I needed. You can close it. I think I’m gonna head home. I’m feeling kinda tired now.”

“Of course, Peter. I’ll plot a course.”

Peter dropped down to the street and passed the candy bar off to the first homeless person he saw. He didn’t need to eat. Just making that choice gave him a rush of control, a little thrill. It felt good in a bad way to deny himself.

XXX

After school the next day, Peter was due to go to the tower to visit Tony. They were going to work on integrating the nanotech into his web-shooters. While he sat in the back of the black Audi as Happy maneuvered them in and out of traffic, Peter soothed his frazzled nerves from the day by looking over his app and seeing what he logged.

He’d done better about controlling his choices. He’d cut out most of the junk, other than the school pizza anyway, but he knew he needed some fat for his metabolism to burn. It wasn’t like he was planning to starve himself. He just liked the feeling denying himself gave him. When school and Spider-man had him stressed, this, this was something that he could control.

Happy didn’t say much as he drove, only calling over his shoulder once to see if Peter wanted him to swing by McDonald’s before they got to the tower. Maybe a few weeks ago, even a few days ago, he might have said yes, but today he wasn’t feeling it. He could only think about how many calories it was.

“No, I’m good. I ate at school.”

Happy met his gaze through the mirror, seeming to search his face. “If you’re sure. You used to eat half the menu. What changed?”

Peter shrugged, turning to look out the window. “Nothing, just not hungry.” He glanced back at Happy and tried for a smile. It probably looked forced.

Happy hummed to himself then raised the divider, leaving Peter to his thoughts.

When they got to the tower, Peter waved bye to Happy and then headed to the elevator, asking Friday to take him to whatever floor Tony was on. It turned out to be the workshop.

Music played from somewhere in the workshop, and Tony was bent over his workbench, tools in hand. The volume lowered automatically when Peter entered, making Tony look up.

“Hey, kid, how goes the spidey battle?”

Peter shrugged. “Nothing to report. Things have been okay. May’s working a lot this week, got detention once for falling asleep, but that was totally not my fault.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, Tuesday? I check the reports. You were out until a little after midnight on Monday.”

“Oh, yeah, well, May is working new hours.”

“So, you thought you should ignore your curfew?”

Peter winced. “Yes?”

Tony snorted, shaking his head. “Toss your bag on the chair and get over here. We have work to do.”

They worked together for a few hours until Tony’s stomach made an audible protest, making the man pause. “I think it’s probably time to call it quits for the night and get something to eat.”

Peter froze for a second. “Oh, um, yeah, I’m not really that hungry, though. I’ll be fine.”

“Give me a break, Pete. I’ve seen the data. I know how much you need to eat. I’ll order up some pies, and we can eat upstairs.”

He tried to smile, but he only managed to make the corners of his mouth twitch. “Okay, yeah. Pizza sounds good.”

When the food came, Tony set the pizza boxes on the counter and grabbed them each a plate, plopping two big slices on top of each other on Peter’s.

Following Tony to the living room, they sat on the couch, and Peter started nibbling on his pizza. After the first slice was gone, he paused, setting his plate on his lap to pull out his phone. Not thinking about Tony in the same room, he opened the app and started inputting his meal's data. He was already stressing a little about having two slices on his plate. It was going to be a lot of calories. It was a good thing he hadn’t eaten much before coming over.

Tony’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Isn’t that the metabolic recording app I designed? I thought we were all done with that. Why are you still using it?”

“Huh? Oh, this?” Peter flashed him his phone screen. “Um, yeah. It’s the same program. I was just—I was just doing a little more research to confirm our findings. That’s all. Nothing to worry about.”

“I wasn’t worried about it, but I gotta say, now I’m a little curious as to why you’re lying about it. It’s cute how you think you can pass one by me, Pinocchio.”

Peter’s eyes went wide, and he stared at Tony, unsure what to say. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide anything, but Tony wouldn’t understand either. “I wasn’t—it’s stupid.”

“Stupid is as stupid does,” Tony said, taking a bite of pizza. “No truer words.”

“What? Is that a reference?”

“Heathen. Enough distracting me. What’s up, muchacho?”

Peter fiddled with his phone, and then stuffed it into his hoodie pouch, setting his plate on the coffee table after. Without meeting Tony’s gaze, he cleared his throat and tried to think of a way to explain it.

“It’s really not a big deal. I don’t know why we have to talk about it.”

“You not wanting to talk about it is precisely why we need to, so spill.”

Sighing, Peter bit the bullet and started his stuttered explanation.

“Putting in the numbers, it became sorta like a habit, I guess. It was cool seeing a chart of what I’ve eaten. I know it sounds weird.” Peter chanced a look at Tony. The man had set his pizza down on the coffee table, too. His expression was scrutinizing. “So, um, I kinda set myself goals, you know? Just like can I stay under a certain amount, or other days, I could eat better. I don’t know how it started. But the process, the numbers, they were soothing. They are soothing.” Peter kept his gaze on his hands that were clasped in his lap, unsure what he was hiding from. It wasn’t like what he was doing was that bad. “So, yeah, that’s what’s up. Told you it’s nothing big.”

Tony was quiet for a moment until Peter heard him let out a breath. When he glanced up, Tony was scratching at his chin, his head tilted to the side, eyes sharp and cutting right through Peter.

“Pete, that’s the definition of something big or the start of it. I don’t know a lot about head shrinking, but I’ve seen enough after school specials to know you’re on a slippery slope.”

“It’s not—I’m not anorexic or anything. I swear. It’s just the app. I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m not starving myself. You just watched me eat.”

Tony sighed, scrubbing a hand over his mouth before dropping it. “Kid, I know you might not see it that way, but trust me on this. From the outside, it doesn’t look healthy.”

Peter frowned, trying to think over his actions through a different lens. If this had been someone else, MJ or Ned, Peter would probably be feeling the same way as Tony. Then why didn’t it feel like a big deal for him to do it? Was what he was doing really that dangerous? His brow furrowed in thought.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s that bad. Wouldn’t I know if I had an eating disorder?”

Tony shook his head a little, then shrugged his shoulder, wiggling his hand back and forth like he was weighing options. “You could, or it could just be the start of one. Either way, I think the first step should be getting rid of that app, remove the temptation. Though I think you might need more than that.”

“Like what?” Peter asked, already feeling a little anxious at the idea of losing his app. It was like a security blanket for him. He’d been logging for months. He didn’t want to lose all that data. It was like a journal of his good and bad days, his accomplishments, and his failures. Sometimes he did like looking back and studying the past weeks, seeing where he could have done better. The action itself soothed him. And now he was losing that.

“I don’t know, therapy would be my first guess, and I think your aunt needs to know, so she can keep an eye on things. I don’t know a lot about eating disorders, but I know about addiction, and I think they share some traits.”

Peter sank back into the couch, looking over at Tony with a frown. “Do we have to tell her? It just feels weird. Like it doesn’t feel like this is really a problem. I felt in control like I knew what I was doing. It doesn’t feel dangerous or like an eating disorder. I don’t want to worry her over nothing.”

“I need you to put on your listening ears here, kid. If this were anyone else, would you feel the same? I don’t think you would. I think Spider-Man would feel the same way I do. I’m not worried over nothing, and you shouldn’t just brush this aside. This could be the start of something that could take over your life. I don’t want that for you, Pete.”

Thinking back to MJ and Ned, Peter knew the truth. He knew that for anyone else, he would be concerned.

Sighing, he nodded slowly while twisting his fingers in his lap. “Okay, we can tell her, and I’ll delete the app. As much as I don’t want to believe it, maybe you’re right.”

“Okay, do you want to tell her together?”

Peter licked his lips, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it as he thought. He wasn’t sure he would have the courage to tell her on his own, but if Tony were there, maybe it would be the push he needed. If only he could get over the feeling of shame that was building in him, shame for letting this become a problem in the first place. He thought he was smarter than that. He should have known, should have seen the signs. How could he be so blind?

“Yeah, but can we wait until tomorrow to tell her? I’m not ready tonight.”

“That’s fine. I don’t think you're in immediate danger. If I thought that, this would have gone differently. I think we can take our time and figure out how to tell her. Your hot aunt probably knows a few things about this, given her career path.” Tony raised a brow, waggling a finger a Peter. “Don’t make that face. Didn’t anyone ever tell you your face could get stuck that way?”

“I’m not making a face.”

Tony scoffed. “You looked like your sucking on a Warhead.”

“Ew, I hate those.”

“The youth of today appreciate nothing.” Tony reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his abandoned dinner. Taking a bite of the cold pizza. He waved a hand in the direction of Peter’s remaining slice. “Eat up, kiddo. Cold pizza is the best pizza.”

With a nod, Peter sat forward and grabbed his plate, picking his slice of pizza up with his other hand. With probably too much thought about what he was feeling, he took a bite. He realized as he focused on what he felt that there was a tiny spike of fear, and he knew that wasn’t normal. This was something new in the last few months.

Now that he thought about it, he could remember that little feeling attached to most of his meals, getting more prominent as time went on. His fingers itched to record the calories, and he realized that he did have a problem. Something else inside him was steering his decisions, and he didn’t know how to feel about that. The knowledge hit him hard, making an invisible band tighten around his chest.

He pushed the feelings aside the best he could and focused on eating. He wouldn’t let this beat him. He’d tell May, and he’d do better. Spider-Man, Peter Parker, wouldn’t let this get him down. He’d find a way to fight it, and he was pretty sure he could. He had Tony and May in his corner.

#Irondad #peter parker #tony stark #tw: eating disorder #snark writes

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