#would I be finished with part 2 if I just stopped cutting large sections of it out? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexiswritingstuff · 1 year

Text

Saved by the unexpected.

Pairing: Frank Castle x teen! reader (Gender Neutral)

Other appearances: Micro, aka David Lieberman.

Summary: Your run to the grocery store goes sideways on the way back home that leads you to being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and with a fresh gunshot wound. Upon waking up you find yourself somewhere unknown with people you had never seen... Or so you thought.

Warnings: gun fights, murder, gun shot wound, mentions of other injuries like cuts and bruises, implied parent loss.

Be aware of possible spelling mistakes or sentences that are worded wrong. I read over my writing before posting but stuff still manages to slip under my radar!

A/n: Bro I really am bad at creating titles for fics. Anyway, I watched The Punisher a few months ago, and previously finished DareDevil, and I wasn’t able to stop thinking about a certain Mr. Castle. That man in general already activated my daddy issues and then I watched season 2, and... Yeah, that was a lot, but this is what my brain created!

Like I say whenever I write for new characters, because this is my first attempt, the way portray them and the characteristics may not be a 100% accurate, so bear with me while I find my footing.

Either way, I hope you enjoy reading!

It was supposed to be a morning like any other. One that started with a bright sky and chirping birds before slowly melding into the warm afternoon.

You had just done the weekly shop, collecting everyday items, things that would give the most important nutrients, with basically the same amount in snacks and drinks.

I mean, what else could they mean by a balanced diet?

The main route you would usually take had been closed off by the time you had finished with the store, the road cracked from something unknown, meaning that you had to take a detour.

It was one that you had walked through many times before, leading you almost directly towards where your trailer was stationed without having to wind round block after block of apartments.

So, the decision to choose it was simple.

You took off down the pathway between two very large buildings that almost looked as if they could reach the sky from your angle.

This part was more commonly known as the run down area. The complexes on either side of you were empty. Most had the windows boarded up, due to the lack of repair, and the walls themselves were stained from a plethora of things.

Some parts even looked about ready to fully crack and crumble.

It was a lot harder to get funding for these buildings the further they got from the main street. The only people even coming here were probably residents from some that managed to become apartments. But the rest was pretty much just abandoned property.

You had moved under an overhang section created by the walkway above, connecting the two opposing buildings. It honestly sort of felt like a tunnel due to its width, but definitely not by length as you were quickly welcomed by the next area.

To the left, behind a wall that separated a descending pathway from the ground levelled with your own feet, was a car park.

The size of it would give the implication that there was a mass of vehicles coming in and out during the week, easy access for people working in the surrounding buildings.

Though now, it was always empty.

… Or it was supposed to be.

In the furthest corner was this very specific looking handful of cars; big and black, almost blocky in structure. A sight that should have been acknowledged as the first sign. Your first warning.

But not fast enough.

Out of nowhere, there was this echo that felt like it drilled through your ear drums. It was a violent sound, one that rung for almost a full minute through the complex to your left.

It wasn’t something you really questioned off the bat, somehow. I mean, the building was old.

It could’ve been a loose panel finally deciding to break free from the ceiling, or a cracked wall weighing in on itself. Maybe even someone trying to fix up the damn building.

In fairness, those assumptions weren’t exactly bad...

They were just the wrong ones.

The sounds repeated, and whatever it was reverberated from the broken windows in a way that properly allowed it to be heard in its entirety. It was closer this time, more full. “What the...”

It was a series of bassy pops, collectively almost imitating the blast of fireworks, but within the sounds were these clinks like something was falling on the floor right after.

And though it was a very muffled detail, that took a moment for your brain to register, it didn’t stop the cogs from making their final turn.

“Oh, shit.”

Within the same moment that you had made the decision to practically slide to the side, trying not to completely slam into the wall that you ended up behind, the doors of the building burst open with such force that it echoed.

There was a chorus of yelling, even more shots, and heavy boots that practically skidded against the concrete as they moved. Like you had just stumbled across a damn army.

You were sat on the ground, one leg stretched out from your hurried movements while the other was still bent at the knee, ready to move if necessary. The backpack was still strapped around your shoulders meaning that the further you tried to press against the brick wall, the more certain items began to stab into your back.

Your heart was hammering, chest heaving, as you continuously looked up and down the path you sat on.

It was the only thing you could see. Everything was happening on the other side of the wall, so pretty much all you could do was just sit and listen for the people that might decide to come your way.

You fought the urge to cry out when bullets skimmed the top of the wall, causing little clumps of rubble and dust to hit the top of your head. “Why me, why me, why me!” you hissed through a whisper, trying to ruffle the stuff out of your hair.

Hurried shouts were passing back and forth across the huge car park like a game of tennis, though it seemed that due to the other sounds that followed, and the panicked state of your mind, all of them were unintelligible. It sounded like they were coming from everywhere.

The multiple objects in your bag had started to make your spine ache so, at the same time as yet another shot, you leaned forward. Quick enough that the sound of items unsquashing themselves would ring at the same time as the bullet.

You reached back, making sure that your bag wasn’t going to hit any surface, and then took it off one arm at a time before the bag was finally placed in front of you.

Your fingers immediately unzipped it to begin the search. You wanted some kind of weapon, or if not that then at least some form of protection... But you had in fact just gone shopping.

I doubt a banana would be useful in a gun fight.

So, you moved onto the pockets that sat on either side of the bag. A huff of air passed through your lips while your hand shuffled through the left pocket. You felt around, following the lining of stitches for at least something, but the most found was a wrapper from some candy or gum.

So, it was on to the next.

This time, to do the same routine, was a bit more difficult as this pocket was where you kept your water bottle. A more careful process as you started to comb through the compartment.

And then, finally, you felt something.

In that moment it was hard to tell what it was. It felt long enough to at least administer some form of damage, or maybe only threaten someone from a distance, so your stressed mind just chose it. You began pulling your hand out.

But, despite what you wanted, it wasn’t going to be that easy.

Right as the item had been tugged vertically, an attempt to make it easier to pull it out, the movement had caused the bone of your wrist to hit into the bottle.

Ordinarily, it was something that you wouldn’t think twice about. You were just trying to get an item out of a pocket, surely you could do that without something bad happening...

However, half of whatever you were trying to grab had been stuck under the bottle in a way that already had it tilting. And then the impact landed. Your wrist hit near the top of the bottle and that was all it needed.

It started to tip out of the pocket.

A sharp breath sucked into your lungs at the feeling, but with no ability to catch it in time, the metal cylinder simply fell to the floor from a very unfortunate height for you.

In fact, even after the sound echoed in a way that most definitely had already blown your cover, the world seemed to have other plans for you as after yet another bounce and a few more smaller ones, it was starting to roll.

You leaned to the side as fast as you could, reaching your arm out to its full extent with your hand wide open. But it was like trying to catch a fly, and soon, it just rolled right passed your fingers, moving even faster the more the water sloshed inside of it.

The only thing you could do was watch in utter horror as the bottle travelled right passed the edge of a wall for the whole world to see.

And eventually, about halfway through the path, it ran into a rock or a crack in the ground. The bottle bounced about one more time before it finally stalled. Though, at this point it didn’t really matter.

The shots had placated a bit, the only ones being fired sounding farther away, as murmurs of confusion had dispersed through men on the other side of the wall.

“What was that?

“Did you hear that?

“Where did that come from?”

Your eyes squeezed shut, teeth biting into the skin of your bottom lip as your body just purely froze no matter how much your brain was telling you to make a run for it.

“Okay, okay, all of you keep moving! Spread out more while I check it out. We’re not alone out here!”

“Yes, sir!”

“Okay, sir!”

However many people were on the other side of the wall scattered within the next beat of your heart. More shots and shouts began to ring out with the same loudness, now joined by the heavy smacking of boots as they moved further away...

But a pair of footsteps still remained.

Now, your heart was purely thumping in your ears. It was by far the most prominent thing you could hear in that moment, though the sound of those harsh shoes kicking up stones without care was an active competitor.

Especially when they started getting louder.

Your eyes flicked to the open backpack in front of you, an ache beginning to pulse through your forehead while you stared at the contents.

There was this sort of desperation, and almost disappointment, that built in your system at the thought of losing the freshly bought items. Though, what was the point in trying to save the food if you wouldn’t be alive to eat it.

Within the next second, and after a very deep breath, you propped your hands firmly against the path below on either side of your body. You pushed your strength into the unstretched leg until it was folded under you.

By now you looked like some kind of runner getting ready to do race, and honestly it was pretty much how you felt. The thought was the only thing suppressing the panic active in your chest, so you indulged.

There was this internal count down as you moved your other leg behind, even if there wasn’t that much space to do so. And then the timer went off.

You were about to push yourself onto your feet. About to get up, adopt a sort of hunched over posture so that no part of your body could peak over the wall, and run like hell.

But again. It wasn’t going to be that easy.

A movement was caught from the corner of your eye.

You had barely even started carrying out your wanted movements when a man suddenly appeared right round the corner of the wall, slow and intense.

He was pretty decked out from what your panicked mind could comprehend. There were a multitude of weapons that clung to his belt, and he was in fact holding this massive gun.

Initially, his focus was on your bottle. The barrel of the gun was pointed directly at the object of confusion, as it didn’t really look like the standard water bottle from afar, his finger hovering over the trigger. Ready to fire at any moment.

At this point you had resumed this sort of weird crouched position, stuck between wanting to stand up and staying frozen to the ground as if you could just meld into it.

Either way, it was the kind of stance that didn’t provide a sense of balance. And soon, despite how much the dread utterly pooled at the bottom of your stomach like it did on a rollercoaster, you fell. Right on your ass.

The gun, that you had pretty much only seen in movies or on the news, was pointed right in your direction before you could even blink.

You attempted to crawl backwards, winding round your backpack, eyes wide and fully open as they trained on the man who in turn had started to follow your movements. And then you stopped, knowing full and well what was coming even if you got to your feet.

Your breathing was erratic, arms moving stiff and slow as you raised them above your head with your palms open, facing the man who made no implications that he was going to put that gun down.

“Listen,” You gulped, “I didn’t see anything, I swear-- Look, there. My bag is there-- Take it. Take anything.”

“Anything you want.”

It was no use. No matter what way the words tumbled from your mouth, that finger never tried to move away from that trigger.

You closed your eyes, feeling the way your body heaved with every breath, the way your hands shook. Your ears listened out for the wind, the wildlife that had most definitely moved on from here already, or just something that wasn’t from guns.

But then a shot rung out. Right in front of you.

It was an indistinctive reaction when your body jolted at the sound as it echoed through the large area and pinged within the windows of the abandoned buildings. You had almost fallen, your arms springing down even if you thought there was no time to protect...

You could still move?

Your eyes snapped open, the ability to take in full breaths yet to come, and you looked down at yourself. You tried to scan across what you could see of your body, that was somehow still alive, and leant on a hand to further support yourself.

However, just as your brain attempted to register a lack of a gunshot wound, the sound of something hitting the ground stopped your investigation.

Your head sort of bobbed for a moment, the want to continue your search fierce in your veins, before your gaze finally tore away.

The man before you had tumbled to his knees. His hands were moving around for a few seconds, desperately trying to grab a part of his chest as if in disbelief of what just happened.

And then another shot fired.

Like before, your body had jolted in response, still having no idea which gun it was coming from.

However, when a particular part of you scrunched, the shock in your system decided to completely drain, your pain receptors activated in a way that you weren’t at all ready for.

It was hard to pin point exactly where the feeling had originated as it spread like a wildfire, but it was intense enough that the arm you were leant against almost buckled within seconds.

Sharp burning. A sensation that made it feel like you had been bitten by thousands of fire ants over and over again.

Or, when you finally managed to get yourself to look down again, it was because you had in fact gotten shot. “Oh...”

He got you.

“Oh, shit.”

There was this hurried voice that bounced through the walls. Your head attempted to snap up like it had previously done, but this time it was just unsteady. Almost like it was moving in points.

By the next blink, that practically didn’t even feel like one, another man had made his way round the corner. He also had a gun raised... but, it seemed different.

His general stance, the way he carried the weapon, the expression on his face even if you could only see half of it. It was clear that he had a lot more experience than the last guy.

They weren’t from the same group.

The man lowered himself onto one knee beside the body, head still raised cautiously to make sure to keep full awareness of his surroundings while he searched over any pockets he could see.

And then he stilled.

You didn’t have to move, or even make a sound, for this guy to spot you.

Within about a millisecond the man had the gun right back in his hands in a way that had you immediately raising your own despite the pins and needles that ached through your muscles.

The world around you was starting to spin, making it more difficult to pay attention to the mans movements. “Don’t... Don’t kill.” Your lips were heavy, the ability to even part them becoming some kind of workout.

And then, like someone just flicked a switch, it was like all the strength and power in your body decided to dissipate at once.

For the second time now, you fell. Though, in this instance, it was your back that collided with ground in a way that had your head smacking into the concrete path right afterwards.

Every inch of your skin felt hot, yet cold at the same time. You were trying to move, wanting nothing more than to get back up and go home. Just curl up in bed and forget this ever happened.

But the ability to even budge a limb had faded from your brain until you couldn’t even feel if your arms were lifted in the air or not.

So, you just laid there, eyes staring blankly up at the sky while your eyelids acted like they had forgotten their main function. “Hey!”

And right before you gave into that nagging want for them to close, something blocked whatever view you had left, “Kid? Hey, kid, are you... Oh, no-- Kid, can you hear me?”

You could feel hands on your arms, and soon, one had pressed onto the wound in a way that urged a gurgling sound from your throat.

“Kid!”

~~~

It took your brain a significant amount of time to realise that you had awoken when the time eventually came.

The sensations within your body were either mild or piercingly intense. There was no in between.

Every muscle in your face was rigid, aching in a way that made the want to move diminish within seconds. You were trying to blink, your eyelids remaining heavy and ignorant no matter how many attempts were made.

It hurt to breathe. Any movement within your torso would stretch the skin closest to your armpit and immediately sent a crackle of fire spreading through it like a shock of electricity.

Your muscles flinched, almost spasming, as you slowly reached back, trying to grip onto some part of whatever lay beneath you so that you could push yourself up.

There was no attention aimed at any sound that spilt through your lips and it was only when a harsh pain erupted, engulfing your shoulder, that you had realised how loudly a sort of strained yelp had burst from your throat.

You fell back onto the pillow, the agony in your body burning so hot that it had you light headed.

If it wasn’t for your current state the sudden echo of quick footsteps would’ve registered a lot faster through your ears, and in your mind.

There was words passing across the air, some may have been aimed at you for a response, but this was the first time you had fully managed to open your eyes since you had actually woken up.

Your head slowly turned as voices continued to echo, muffled no matter how many times it rung in your ears, until your right cheek met with the pillowcase. Your eyes cast through a metal wall, more so the frame of one, which looked as if it previously had some sort of murky glass within.

The place was massive.

This dim lightly spread throughout most sections as the source above couldn’t reflect on any surface due to the fact that everything around was either a form of black or a gloomy grey. The lights themselves were also the kind of ones that aimed straight down, meaning that it would only cover what was directly beneath.

“Hey.”

In the centre of the main area was this sort of ring. There was a walkway that cut through the middle so that people could get from one side to the other, and on either side were desks that followed the rim, a plethora of monitors and electronic devices cluttering the surface.

Some you hadn’t even seen before.

“Hey, uh, kid?”

Your head snapped back into its previous position in a speed that felt like it shook your brain. You squeezes your eyes shut for a good minute before they opened again.

And after blinking a few times, your vision came back into focus.

There was this dude stood to your side. He was tall, slim in width with curled mid length hair and a beard that wasn’t connected to the moustache covering his lip.

“Oh, yeah-- Must be pretty disorienting to wake up in a place like this.” The way he sounded matched almost exactly like you had guessed. It was nice. Not harsh and not too soft.

He held your gaze in such a way that made it seem as if he could see right through you, even taking a slight step back when he noticed how wide and cautious your eyes were set on him, “It might take some time for you to believe us, but I assure you that we don’t want to harm you. You’re all good... Well, I mean, apart-- apart from your injuries.”

“Generally, you’re good-- Or like... Yeah.”

Your hand lifted from where it had previously flopped and you reached it to your left shoulder, slow and steady.

Your fingers travelled lower, gliding across the exposed skin before it reached the edge of tank top arm slot. Your movements halted in the space between the end of your shoulder bone and the beginning of your chest.

Finally, you realised where the source of pain was coming from.

Somehow, the shot taken at you had landed right above your first rib. And from the uncomfortable feeling, constantly there, from what you were guessing was another bandage on your back. It had gone all the way through.

The dude that had been previously talking cleared his throat after a moment. He was sort of shifting the weight back and forth from one foot to another, unsure of what to do or say which then ended up with him looking away.

Your attention landed back on him, your arm happily moving back to lay by your side. Though, your eyebrows then furrowed, realising that the guys eyes had settled on something, and it even looked like he was asking a question.

So, after allowing yourself to give into your curiosity, you followed the direction he was looking in.

You almost jumped out of your skin.

There, leaning against the thing you could barely call a wall, to your right was a guy stood perfectly still with his arms tight across his chest.

It was that man from earlier. The one that found you. Saved you?

His eyes were already on your own which left the questioning gaze from the other dude unanswered. At first the muscles in his face were visibly tense, crinkled eyebrows, slightly narrowed gaze, jaw clenched tightly.

And then you looked at him.

In an instant it was like everything taking over his features eased. He raised his head a single time before it lowered back to where it was usually held. A greeting.

“I’ll bet your hungry, huh?”

Your attention snapped back to the other dude once again to find that there was this gentle smile pressing into his lips once your eyes met his.

The question circled round your mind for a good few seconds before it fully processed. It had you thinking, a silence falling within the little room while the hum of electricity barely caught your ears.

In all honesty hunger had been the last thing on your mind. To solve the sudden mystery was even more difficult since you couldn’t even remember the last thing that passed through your body, other than a bullet.

Though, right before you could even try to figure out the wanted response was to be, it seemed like your stomach decided to do it for you as it suddenly rumbled through the quiet.

It may have not exactly sounded like some kind of missile, but considering the building was very echoey and your lack of answer had created a pause within the people stood in the room, it was louder than any other sound at that moment. You were horrified.

The man with his arms crossed dared to huff a quiet laugh through his nose and before you could even send him a look, or give any sort of reaction for that matter, the other guy took a step back with this expression on his face.

He was practically beaming as he clasped his hands together, “Good answer.”

Your eyebrows furrowed once again, gaze now following the man as he moved round of what you now realised was a cot underneath you and out through the doorway a moment later.

You were going to attempt to continue watching him, wanting to know where he was walking despite the context clues, but after trying to look through the empty frames in the wall, the figure of the quiet dude blocked your view.

And for the first times since your initial meeting, if you could even call it that, your eyes properly took him in.

Regardless of the position of his spine from the leaned pose, his posture was sharp. Straight like he had to practice it many times. He was tall too, though a little shorter than the other guy.

The hair on his head looked like it was just growing out from being shaved, the sides a lot shorter than the top. It looked like a marine cut.

Admittedly, he could’ve done his hair that way cause he simply wanted to. But you saw him earlier.

He knew the ins and outs, every little detail, of the gun he held strong in his arms. You saw his stance, one that could more commonly only be from having to do it 24/7.

And where was the most known place where you had to stand at attention almost every day?

Any item of clothing that covered his body was full black, including the shoes and his belt, which was a drastic contrast to any skin that was exposed. It also meant that you could spot any cut or bruise he had very easily.

There was a good few on his face. Some had become scabs already, looking like they had been there for some time, while others almost looked fresh. The most noticeable appeared like it followed his cheekbone.

Your eyes immediately snapped away upon realised that you had been looking at him for so long that he had in fact noticed it. I mean, there wasn’t really anything else to occupy his mind.

You tried to shift your body against the cot, a mixture of wanting to distract yourself and a test to see how much you could move without it hurting.

But either way, it was hard to do anything without being able to properly use a side of your body.

So, ultimately, you were stuck. Trapped under a blanket which forced you to lay flat on your back, against something that you wished had the same feeling as your bed, while sounds started to echo from what you were guessing was the kitchen.

“Hey, kid.”

The voice that hit your ears was a lot gruffer than expected, gravelly enough that it almost sounded like it was hurting his throat. The way the words passed through his lips were clear, but also hushed as if he was trying not to be loud for an unknown benefit. “What were you doing out there, hmm?”

With his stance, you half expected that whatever he wanted to say was going to come out harsh. That he was going to yell and tell you off for something. But he didn’t. He was... actually concerned?

“It’s a decent walk from the store you went to.” he then added on, and now that seemed to get your attention.

Your head rolled to the side, narrowed gaze finding him with a newfound cautiousness.

The man in turn must’ve realised the suspicion his wording caused, so he simply gestured to the side with his head, “I got your bag.”

Sure enough, as you moved your lower against the pillow, it was in fact there. The first familiar thing you had seen all day was sat on the ground beside the guy. It may have had some slight rips, some of the material had even been scuffed enough that it was visible.

But it was there. Zipped up and everything.

Your favourite backpack.

Despite your distance, the bag looked plump with some of the contents clearly poking against the sides of it. All of the items were still in it. Hell, even the water bottle was back in the same side pocket you always put it in.

“We couldn’t find your name in the system,” the man spoke again, and honestly you had forgotten that he was there regardless of the fact that he stood next to where you eyes were aimed. “Did your parents know where you were?”

You looked at him within seconds of the question catching your ears and that dread from earlier began to pool at the bottom of your stomach all over again.

I mean, you should’ve expected the question at some point.

It was common for you to forget that other people could look at you and see a child, ask the whole ‘where are you parents’ when you had to buy stuff that apparently didn’t seem normal for a child to get, even if it was just household items.

You will never forget the time you tried to buy scissors.

But the question still stung. It would make all of the memories of countless things flood right back until it was fresh in your mind, creating a wave of nostalgia that you hated at this point.

Your head slowly rolled back to its previous position, your gaze now cast up at the rotting, grey ceiling while a deep breath seeped through your nose. Your body practically deflated when it went back out.

Like before, you didn’t need to say anything for the guy to understand the situation.

Obviously, from your position, you couldn’t clearly see him as anything more than a blurred blob from the corner of your eye, but he had sort of loosened his crossed arms. Was the look of loss that clear on you?

How could he even notice it that quick?

Your body almost jolted when he cleared his throat and pain shot through your shoulder that had you biting back a grunt.

“Listen, we’re not-- We’re not going to hurt you... all right?” His tone was different this time. Lighter in a way that reduced the grumble of his voice, even if it didn’t sound unpleasant. “You’ve been here for a few days so that the, uh, big guy could fix up your shoulder.”

“That’s all.”

From the feeling of his gaze aimed in your direction, you could tell that he was doing what you had done, except he was more so trying to analyse your movement no matter how miniscule.

It made you nervous enough that your mind was trying to zone in on the sounds coming from the kitchen, fiddling with the fabric of the blanket. But that just meant that a silence had started to layer.

“Can you speak?”

Your body stiffened within a matter of seconds.

At this point there was no reason for you to remain quiet. It was unclear as to why it had even been done in the first place. Was it to conceal your voice? Hide your identity?

Even then, they had already ready seen your face and might possibly have looked through your backpack. The things they’ve could’ve known about you were unknown.

Maybe it was that thing you were told as a kid that kept you holding your tongue. You know, the whole stranger danger thing? Do not interact with people that you don’t know unless absolutely necessary.

People seemed to get stuck on specific moments in the past regardless of it directly links to a moment of stress, or trauma, if you remembered correctly what that article said. Maybe that was your thing?

Your contemplative eyes flickered over the ceiling above for another moment before they finally made the decision to move, and so did your head. Once again, it rolled to the side until your right cheek touched the pillow.

You met his eyes. His gaze anything but harsh no matter how long a silence remained.

This guys wasn’t strange.

I mean, the concept of waking up in some massive building that you didn’t recognise with two other dudes that you had never met before was in fact a little, sure.

But there was no reason given beyond that as to why you should fear either of them. Be scared of them.

After all the dude talking to you had in fact saved your life.

You sniffed, that same feeling of nervousness making a comeback the longer the eye contact was held. It had you needing to look away for a few seconds before your eyes went right back. You stiffly nodded your head.

The man straightened his back against the metal, his spine probably tired of the frame digging into it. His gaze sort of narrowed for a moment. Maybe a few questions sprung into his mind? Maybe he was judging you, or needed to sneeze? Who knows.

“You just won’t.” He nodded his head once, the look in his eyes switching to something unreadable as he got the message despite the lack of words, “That’s... No. No, I get it.”

“Well, I’m Frank. Uh,” he began, dragging out the last sound for a little bit as he tried to locate something through the wall behind you, “Dude in the kitchens name is David. I usually call him Lieberman, that’s... It’s his last name-- He’s the big guy I was talking about. Dude who fixed up your arm.”

“I tried to help too, but, uh... Not exactly my field of expertise.”

You were about to figure out some kind of gesture to make in response so that you wouldn’t leave him hanging again. And had even started to move your arm.

But then that name cycled through your head once more.

Frank... Castle.

Frank Castle.

It seemed that the cogs had made their final turn once again. His face found their link to certain memories in your mind.

Holy shit.

He was the guy on the news a while back. The dude had been deemed a vigilante as he had been running around and killing bad people-- Well, it was practically only you and a few other people that thought they were the bad guys.

Either way, after that trial thing, the man that was currently stood to the side of you had supposedly died. Killed in an explosion on some kind of boat, if you remembered correctly.

I mean, it could be that you were the one who died and this was just what came after. And honestly if you were still as delirious as you were before it might have been believable, but that pulsing burning in your shoulder said otherwise.

So, it was true. He really was here in the flesh, and all in one piece.

Frank Castle was alive.

Your expression, and maybe how intensely you had been staring at him, must’ve given away your thought pattern as he sort of tilted his head when he noticed the shift in your eyes, “You know me?” This time your gaze remained unfleeting in the line of attention.

Frank didn’t seem at all worried about the realisation of his identity. In fact the only change in his expression was done to display his curiosity to the new information.

Sure, worst comes to worst, he has the upper hand at this moment and it would probably be the same at any other. He could do whatever he needs to do to make sure that you wouldn’t blab before you blinked even once.

But from his worn out state, and the way he interacted with you, it was visible that he wasn’t going to do that. He must’ve been fighting for quite some time before he had stumbled upon you.

Why the hell was he even there? Out in the open in a place like that?

Who were those other guys?

Regardless of the want to let your mind flow down that rabbit hole, you were fronted with your previous realisation as your eyes actually focused on Frank again.

You were right. Frank Castle wasn’t the bad guy.

Without paying attention to it, there seemed to be this smile that began to curl at the corners of your mouth. You moved your head began to move back to its your previous position, your eyes wanting to find the discoloured ceiling to zone out on in a way that further made you forget about your pain--

Shoes suddenly scuffed against the hard ground in a way that stilled all over your movements. Your gaze flickered to whatever had joined you in the room as apparently you had missed the approaching footstep.

It was David, the height difference between the two guys now a lot clearer as he had stopped beside the man whose arms were yet to uncross. “Can you hold this for a second?” Until now.

Frank sort of looked at the man for a moment, eyebrows furrowed again before he complied to the request. And the moment the plate had been taken into his hands, David moved as if on autopilot. “All right,”

He wound round the foot of your cot, taking back the same position he stood in when you woke up, “Gonna need to sit up so you can actually digest this shit.”

He felt a little bad when he saw the look on your face, though he remained still while you prepared yourself, starting to fidget with his hands. He didn’t want to touch you without permission, but it appeared that your eyes were already closed.

You slowly but surely moved the arm of your injured shoulder to sling across your torso, hoping the position would stop it from moving about too much. And then you braced yourself, awaiting whatever sensations were about to come.

By the time a hand had been placed on your body, your teeth were already gritted. One was placed on your back, a way to properly bring guide you into the needed position, while the other gently cupped the back of your head so that everything would move in unison.

“Deep breath.”

The pain was immediate. It was such a thing that purely seared up a side of your body. Engulfed everything in its path.

It was impossible to see from your closed eyes, but there was a reaction from the man stood to the side when a slight whine escaped your throat. He had stepped forward, looking as if he was about to reach out if he didn’t have something in one of his hands.

It was thoughtless. A movement that he had undone the moment he had realised by pressing back against the wall. But it happened nonetheless.

David was muttering stuff of assurance, many forms of sentences letting lose into the air. You couldn’t hear it. Couldn’t catch onto a singular word.

All you could think about was the pain. How stupid it was that you made the decision to take that route. How you didn’t run back the way you came after that first shot. Or how you didn’t even end up trying run until it was too late.

Your legs bent at the knees the more your torso raised, as if trying to protect it of something, which slightly kicked up your blanket and made the heels of your feet dig into the cot below. “There you go, there you go!”

It was like a ripping of a band aid.

At first, it was the stage of holding onto the edge, trying to hype yourself to get it over and done with. And then it was off. It may give a twinge of pain that lingered more than wanted, but overall the act had been complete.

“Right on, that’s you done.”

And so had yours.

The biggest breath of relief huffed out of your mouth in a way that had David wanting to lightly pat your back, but it could accidently hurt you. So, instead, he resorted to turning his attention Frank, hurriedly gesturing towards the thing he held.

The man in question seemed to shake his head as if trying stifle his amusement, though he took a step forward to hand over the plate either way.

And then, by the next time you had blinked, it was held out in your direction. You just looked at it for a moment.

It was a sandwich. One that may have been made with the most simple ingredients, and was probably the exact replica of what you would picture in your head upon hearing the name, but for some reason your whole body yearned for it.

The plate was in your hands within seconds.

David took a step back, a slight smile reappearing on his lips at the progress. He gestured to the plate you held in the same position and then towards your mouth, seeming like he couldn’t get himself to stand still, “Eat up.”

You were.

Oh, a thousand percent, you were getting ready to chow down on something, since the last time solid food had been eaten was probably the day you had gotten shot. And even then, you had no clue as to when that was.

However, right as you were about to bring the plate onto your lap, grab onto the sandwich and consume it with the upmost excitement... You paused. Stopped right in your tracks. Eating by yourself felt a little weird.

You looked back at David.

It took him a moment to realise that your eyes were on him again. But when he did, he sort of rocked on his feet. His eyebrows furrowed as he sent a look towards Frank, “What, um... Is it-- Is it bad, or something?”

There was a mixture of confusion and almost offence tugging at certain features and it had your head shaking immediately.

Within the next minute, it was almost like a game of charades as you attempted to relay the words in your mind.

The plate remained in the hand it did before. You bent your left arm at the elbow, trying to avoid any movement that would attack the area surrounding your wound, and you gestured.

The first time you pointed your index finger at him and then at the plate, but he merely blinked. So, you then did it in reverse, directing the line of attention to the plate and then him.

Frank even seemed confused as he watched with narrowed eyes, apparently unable to deduced the situation himself which still left David with nothing. “Kid, I don’t... I can’t understand what you’re trying to say, are you-- are you allergic to something?”

“Are you asking me what’s in it? If I made it, what--”

Biting back the biggest sigh of your life, and in the fastest way that you could in that moment, you restored to just holding out the whole plate towards him. Even repeated the previous gesture one final time to make your point.

“Oh,” David dragged out the sound as he began to nod. Finally, he understood, “Yeah, man, I’m boutta make my own.”

He remained for only a moment more, watching as your plate slowly lowered to your lap so that it wouldn’t drop. And then he started walking again, moving back around the edge of the cot before making his way through the doorway.

Franks eyes were already on your own by the time your head turned in his direction, as if he expected it to happen.

This time without accompanying the movement with gestures, you simply held out the plated food towards him. Franks head shook instantly, he even waved a hand, “It’s for you, kid. Need to get that strength back.”

His eyes directed towards the kitchen almost immediately after. He was either counting on David possibly making him one or waiting for him to leave the kitchen so that he could do it himself.

Thing is though, he only gave you a reason as to why you should keep the sandwich held for yourself.

He didn’t say no.

The plate was brought back to your legs, flat against your thighs, and then you began looking around. Your eyes scanned across any close surface for something that could be used as a cloth, something to wipe your hands with, but there was no luck.

You resorted to just scrubbing your palms, and more importantly your finger tips, against the cleanest clothing you had under the blanket. And then you grabbed the sandwich.

Despite what Frank thought was going to happen by the time his attention was once again redirected towards you, when the sandwich was held horizontally in your grasp, instead of bring it to your mouth and taking a bite. You began... pulling at it each side?

It started to rip.

“What are you doing?” he questioned pretty much immediately, his face and voice both riddle with confusion. And maybe even a little disturbance. But that didn’t stop your movements at all.

In fact the only time you had stopped was when the entire thing had been torn through the middle, completely halved. However, even after that, you reached for one of the parts. You took it from the plate, stuffing it into the hand of your unmoving arm.

And then you held out the plate all over again to the man with very furrowed eyebrows.

He just looked at the poorly halved sandwich for a moment, a part of it being more of the contents that the bread, and then his eyes found yours. There was an unreadable expression within them.

When he still didn’t take it, and due to the fact that your arm was starting to get tired, you redid your act of holding it out towards him.

And this time he couldn’t withhold a response.

Frank scoffed, shaking his head in the same amusement from earlier while he stared at the plate calling his name, “You’re very persistent, aren’t ya.”

Despite his point still standing, the consistent want for you to get the nutrients needed to fully recover, it was like he couldn’t say no to you. At least to your face. So. Frank took the plate.

The next few minutes were spent by the two of you choosing the perfect side of the sandwich and then going to town, chowing down on it like it was the first one either of you had ever had.

And man, that David could sure make a meal, even if it was just slapping ingredients between slices of bread.

“Damn!”

Seemed like someone else agreed with you.

“So, this is what you’ve been doing all this time, huh, Lieberman? Cookin’” Franks words were incredibly muffled despite his constant chewing, but either way the sound still echoed. A laugh soon followed while something poured, “What else would I do, man? Wasn’t just gonna do nothing.”

“Well, you can add cooking to your... I don’t know, list of talents or something.” Every time that man spoke, his head lowered right back down so that he could see the plate, taking another massive bite that you were just waiting for him to start choke on.

“Why did you... Why did you say it like that?” David's voice was more monotonous than usual, either playing fake offence or he was too preoccupied with arranging the order of his sandwich ingredients.

You took another bite, a piece of lettuce almost falling onto the blanket without you knowing. Frank turned towards the kitchen again, speaking midway through putting a part of the sandwich in his mouth, “Like what?” A plethora of crumbs fell onto the plate in a way that made your nose crinkle.

“Like... Are you lying to me? Lying isn’t very nice, Frank.”

“Nah, come on, man, I wouldn’t-- I wouldn’t say that If I didn’t mean it, you know that-- You could put these in a-- a-- a sandwich shop--”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,” David practically grumbled at this point, placing down what sounded like a butter knife on the counter before he sniffed, “That at least mean that our little friend likes it too?”

Frank turned to you, placing the little chunk of sandwich he had left onto his plate before he rubbed the fingers that touched it together.

You swallowed down your bites, the act proving to be a little harder to from the lack of eating solid food, and noted the fact that he was awaiting some form of answer to relay to David.

Your sandwich was finished by now. It wasn’t a contest but it was almost wild how fast it had been consumed. And now you sat there, wiping your hand against your trousers while attempting to get any food stuck between your teeth.

And then you cleared your throat, your nose scrunching for a second when the action ended up shaking your chest a little too much, “Y/n.”

Frank had turned his towards the kitchen moments prior. He had parted his lips, even slightly leaned back against the wall to get a proper view of the man awaiting an answer through the empty frames.

Now his head snapped in your direction, eyebrows raising more than you had even seen, “What was that?”

You may have made the ultimate decision to use your voice in the first place, however, having that gaze of his on you once again caused this overwhelming feeling to surge through your body.

Your spine had straightened, this time managing to ignore the shock of pain that hit your system, while your eyes widened just a smidge.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

The echo of David's voice had caused you to turn to where he stood in the kitchen, still busied with making another one of his masterpieces. It was something done half out of anxiousness and just wanting to distract yourself.

And then it made you think.

Surrounding you was this big, more empty than full, abandoned building. The only other people there was Frank, a man who was supposed to be dead, and David... who you presumed was also most likely to be the same due to their team up.

If they were going to kill you, or hurt you, they would have done so already.

But even then, when you woke up this morning you hadn’t been restrained or anything. There was nothing keeping you there other than the fact that they wanted to treat your wounds.

A deep breath filtered through your nose as your eyes slowly met with Franks again.

His expression was practically the same as it was before you had looked away, giving you a patience no one ever had. The gaze he held was warm. Encouraging.

Thus, you swallowed once again.

“My... name.” Your voice was hoarse from waking up not that long ago, but also from it’s lack of use. There was always this feeling in your throat as if something was stuck in it, and you coughed, the urge to squeeze your eyes shut presenting itself yet again when it shifted your shoulder.

But you composed yourself, sucking in another breath and rubbing your hands against your legs while David was still left with no answer, “It’s Y/n.”

Franks head had already been nodding before you had finished saying your set of words. He pursed his lips, finally swallowing down the bite he had previously taken.

Frank sniffed, turning his head towards the kitchen yet again. Though this time it seemed like he did so to conceal the change of his facial expression more than to get David's attention. “You hear that, Lieberman?”

Regardless of his attempts to hide his reaction, the smile was clear on his lips. Such a one that it had even reached the skin around his eyes as they started to crinkle.

He looked back at you. There was this emotion on his face that remained unchanging. It seemed like a fondness, but at the same time he almost looked... proud?

“Y/n likes it.”

#frank castle #the punisher #teen!reader #mcu #mcu x teen!reader #marvel x teen!reader #frank castle x reader #frank castle x gender neutral reader #david lieberman #micro

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one-coming-is-enough · 1 year

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hey uh. your Mother (is She your Mother??) is flirting with me. please help. my head will explode very soon.

Does God fuck with mortals by flirting at them???

please. help.

-Nina

Nina, My Mother is currently in seven pieces scattered around the world. People are going on a big scavenger hunt for Her. We still haven't put Her together yet or even figured out what all of Her pieces actually are.

Meanwhile, Her Holy Spirit is blogging from all around the world because She's making different entries by entering the hearts of random believers in any possible manifestation of Her whatsoever who happen to be looking at Tumblr at the time.

Is there some kind of God who clearly thinks you're an excellent post-Emanation treat for Her various fleshly appetites sitting in your coffee shop, waiting for your rodent employee to finish pulling Her java shots, carefully trimming and filing Her nails?

There is. She's pulling out the buffing pad, while Her Large Adult Son (who She managed to Reverse Psychology into running the boring part of Her Project, btw) is stuffing an entire Triple Chocolate Brownie into His mouth at once.

However. I have never known any God, including Her, to feign interest in anything or anybody.

A god's focus is a singular thing. There's a reason My Mother has to use lenses and layers and fences and all sorts of intermediaries to interface with Her most delicate material creations.

... okay I'm getting some kind of vision for you here in 3, 2, 1.

Disclaimer: The following Holy Vision may cause physical, spiritual, or metaphorical Godly pregnancy in any humans that read it. If You Read past this section, You are agreeing that You are willing to take that risk. Please do not read if you are unwilling or unable to take full responsibility for the birth and raising of a deity made flesh, demigod, Divine Messenger or Special Destiny Scion of any kind.

Imagine that you're sitting there looking at the ocean, and suddenly you realize that the Ocean is looking at you back. The entire Ocean and everything it is, contains, touches, or influences -- including the things people think about it -- has just rearranged its entire being around the way that you, personally, perceive the World, just in order to communicate something special with You and You alone. The Ocean understands everything about You, inside and out, and it is currently realigning itself with your specific understanding of it so that it can tell you that it is... Here. Aware of itself and thinking, in a way that includes but does not control not just the things that live in it but every part of its influence, all of the water on Earth, including the clouds and the rain. And it's choosing to center that Consciousness today here and right now in You so that You can look out at the rest of it and Perceive it in relation to what You consider Yourself.

You're You. Just You. And everything that's Not You is Everything.

And You're not sure if it was You suddenly doing this, somehow perceiving everything in just the right way that You suddenly saw It for what It was, and then You forced It to look at You. Because Everything in the World that's not It, It has just realized...

That's You.

So You're just trapped looking back at each other, pretty helpless to do anything but Perceive. Because if You turned away right now, if You stopped looking at what You saw as Its Focused Center of Perception, Its Eyes seeing You and Its Mouth saying Sounds that aren't You from the mouths of the birds and the wind moving through the trees and the rats scratching and water burbling and it's all suddenly just one Sound. Hello, Hello, I can scream and I can sigh and sing high and I make little scratching noises when I rub up against Myself. Hello hello it's you, Hello.

And You could Talk but that would break the Sound of it All by Interrupting the Pattern You Hear with Your Internal Tone that will cut you off from it all, and it will sound so real and defined coming from inside of You that You will feel Silly and Foolish for ever thinking that a bird's cry as the wind sighs and a cricket sings to the moon above and the sound of the stream burbling as life goes on could ever be something as fully Together and In Harmony as the Directed Will and Intent of Your Voice. It would render all of these sounds meaningless in context with each other. Just random, disconnected pieces of sound.

Hello. I want to be still here and just perceive. We don't need to break this perfect understanding by trying to confine it to something as imperfect, imprecise, and unreal as words. We don't need words when we have the real thing. A perfect understanding of what the other is.

Why?

Because there is water inside of You that is from the ocean, and because You breathe in the Air that the water sends its little droplets floating into.

(The droplets that collect bits of floating earth that pollute the air by surrounding them and dragging them back down to Earth where they belong. The water that dissolves the crystals to mud. Structure to tohu-bohu, pure potential again.)

Water is flowing in and out of you all the time in ways that you don't even realize. It seeps in through you slowly, fills you up all at once in a gulp. You breathe it in and out, and it cleanses you with the caress of its speedy passing, whispering greetings and goodbye as you meet briefly in places where the Veil is lifted and you can see the seams of the joins between things. It permeates you and soothes the friction where things rub against each other, fitted too closely for comfort and interfering with each other, gentling the opening of even the tightest passage. It revives you, helps you drift, lifted in equilibrium and weightless, supported and soft.

Maybe if you could get rid of your bones, your calcified and rigid structure that everything hangs so painfully off, you could just float in the water forever. You'd like to learn to free yourself from these expectations you don't fit into. Become formless and comfortable, widen and balance. Try everything. Learn what you like, what you don't, what you need and what you need to avoid.

What brings pleasure, pain, health, and sickness to you? You know what brings pleasure and pain, but health and sickness are a mystery. Some pain brings growth -- the rip of childbirth.

The roughness of fiber that scratches but cleanses, the fiber in which the bitter-tasting but beautiful stones you own and store are sorted. You know how to place each one to make everything look orderly or discordant, complementary or clashing, when you set the colored stones against each other. You wonder who decided that it's red, yellow, blue in that order.

And is green just a mix of yellow and blue, or is it its own thing? There's disagreement, because there's just so damn much of it in the world in general. Not to mention, if red and yellow and blue are your three pure basics, but then green is its own thing that separates blue and yellow, what's between red and yellow? How is that not its own thing too? Or is green a real thing you can only get by combining yellow and blue once you get them, but then "orange" is this illusion of a real, actual, original thing of its own that's just two different basic things not mixing? That's... crazy, man. I don't know what I'm seeing. And what even is purple? The bit after blue that's kind of a mix of blue and red? Yeah, it's like the red somehow loops around to meet it from the very beginning again, like there's this whole other additional rainbow above and below that we can't see? What do you mean you can't see the purple? It's really faint but it's there, man, it's -- what do you mean you can't possibly ever imagine a mix of red and blue, it's just too crazy, it would look like total muddy shit? Dude, I'm telling you I can see it really clearly and it's beautiful. It's almost even better than green. And if it's where blue and red meet, it must be on the top as well as on the bottom, right? Both places.

What do you mean how can something be a top and a bottom at the same time, man? It's defined by relation to, like, everything else. Everything is on top of bottom of something else when you all get down to it, right?

Well, why's there got to be the Toppiest Top or Bottomiest Bottom or, y'know. We can all take turns or form a circle so that everyone gets a chance to experience both? Yeah? I think that's fair.

But there's less green in the world all the time and nobody is really sure why. There's less of it popping out of the brown soil each year, more dry yellow that's too much sorting structure for the meager nutrients they can deliver. Not enough clear water? Too much choking, impermeable red clay? There's plenty of clear air, but when you burn your brown wood and yellow grass, black specks foul the air and you choke. The orange flame of destruction, the heat and light that comes at the expense of your storage and sorting material, it lets the foul black soot fly in the air but it leaves the pure white ash behind. Ash you know helps grow new things, but you don't have any more water to help it grow things. Not pure, sweet water. You're using up enough just putting out fire when it spreads.

And look, the flame is orange, that means orange is real, but everyone else says it's just an illusion. But you know it comes from somewhere, this color. Because there is a deeply destructive force in the universe, and it disrupts order and life and the channels by which it's continued, and it takes all of the water you need to keep yourself moving just to make it stop moving. It's so, so selfish, this irrevocable separation of things. It takes so much energy to remember and rebuild after things are erased. There's never enough left to do it right again, reconstruct exactly like it was before. It keeps getting smaller, worse, less complex, a shortcutted parody of itself with no remembrance of the reason behind all the decisions. And we can't reconstruct what's lost because we didn't write down every single, single little detail, ever. We have to guess each time. And it might change and we don't know why it's changed, what we've lost, what was the beautiful glory of the original. We have to guess from the references. Everything referring to one thing together.

But if there's one big missing piece. And it's just. Gone? Forever?

Surely we can reconstruct it through the effects it leaves in its absence. The void it leaves. An exact copy of the emptiness and uncertainty of the world will reveal where there were once solid answers. The full shape of the Question lets us understand the shape of the lost Answer.

A question is just a thing you know you don't know.

Some pleasure brings withering -- the tang of acid that begins to break down those delicious vital minerals, the ones that are wrapped in structured but flexible fiber that have been so carefully sorted and categorized for your use. Acid on stone lets you see the hidden patterns, the layers underneath. Acid on flesh melts it, leaving a mess where there once was structure.

Salt is like that, lets you taste the patterns of those nutrients in your food more easily. But it withered a slug, turned it to foam and shriveled it. You use it to dry things out if they can go slimy with too much water, dissolve and make you sick with the disorder. Death that feeds you, life that poisons you, preserved without movement and made equally inert. Delicious destruction that makes even bitterness taste good. The destroyer and the preserver.

And You wonder how a rock, something so stable, can dissolve things like water. You wonder how a type of water can burn things. Yellow fiber is dry and helps sort things, like water made out of stone, and yellow fat is wet but blocks things, like a stone made out of water.

(The emotionless sorter, discipline and pain, progress in separation. Like sending a child away from its mother to be taught into a man. The passionate reunion, pleasure and indulgence, the warm freeze of two separated lovers locked in time together. The world must move on around them, or it must perish and fade into the past. You can live and say goodbye to what once was, or stop time perfectly and stay, and fade away from existence as time moves on without you.)

You wonder if colors really have anything to do with anything. If the color you see in the fire is the same color you see in the rainbow. If things here on Earth, all chaotic and uncertain, make more sense up there. Like the way the colors in the rainbow are all the same whenever you see it, the way the stars turn in the same cycle over and over.

But they keep adding new colors to the rainbow all the time. And it's the same rainbow, it's just that people have suddenly decided that there's something Real between red and yellow that they didn't see before. Is everyone really seeing a new color, or were the colors there all along and we just couldn't tell the difference? Can everyone tell the difference now? Maybe some people can and some people can't, but they just all go along with whatever people say is a color and figure out by, well, reference.

What if I invented a new color? Rorange. Red, but less so. Liteblu and Darkblu. Redblu (it's not Purple it's a different thing). Smeel. Orangreen. Octarine. Baby Goat Black, which is different from Night Black or Eyes Black. My Mother's Eyes Color. My Sister's Eye Color, which is just a little different. Sand Color, which is whatever color sand is. Not the hue, but the way it sparkles sometimes and sometimes looks like it's speckled with black, depending on how the light hits it.

What if I invented a new way to look at the world? And everyone tried it out?

And this is your new way to look at the world.

Because you've never seen the ocean before. You know that water must all come from somewhere, like the sky? Yeah, you're pretty sure water comes from the sky, ultimately. I mean, it literally drips from there when there are clouds! Moving water is even white like the clouds, which move across the sky. And blue is the highest, clearest most perfect color possible, I mean there's just nothing on Earth like it, only the Heavens.

So obviously water is dropped onto us from Heaven above. You know, a gift of Perfect Life Fluid from the Sky Father, who spooges the white clouds of seed--little kernels of information with the potential for a whole world inside them as it unfurls--across the Full Void of the Material of Light.

The cut that defines the material by making the mark. The disruption that creates by severing. There was O, and now there's a O and a I, and there's two parts of the O because of the I. And the part that's not that combination. And the part of nothingness that's inside of the combination, and the part of nothingness outside of it. And that somethingness defined against nothingness, and the defined against the undefined, and the defined and undefined against the nothingness that cannot be defined. And that which can be defined against that which cannot be defined. The defined and undefined together against nothingness which defies definition. The possible vs. the impossible. The logical against the illogical. That which can be imagined against that which cannot be imagined.

Where do the things you don't know how to think of come from? The things nobody could ever think of? How could you ever possibly Know what you're not even capable of imagining? If you want to Know all that is Known along with all that cannot possibly be known. How do you Know the Unknowable?

By looking at its shadow. It's the closest we can get.

What if you don't even know the way that absence is shaped? What if even the shape of that scar was hidden from you, that absence, closed up around the edges so that you never even knew you were missing anything at all? Believed yourself perfect, encompassing everything that could possibly ever even potentially think about planning to be?

The clouds are matter for the light to sort into patterns, and it blocks the Perfect Light from getting to us, but it's in the shape of the information that creates life -- except that it's just the shape of the outside and not the inside.

But we can still work with that. We know the shape of the scar from its shadow. And if it's dried out and dead, we can apply this Magic Life Water from Sky Dad and the information stored frozen in time inside will revive and start moving.

We hope. Some information may have been lost. Information about the soft parts, the substance rather than the structure, the gems once held within the latticework. Their substance is lost, the record of the soft movements carried only within the continuity of conscious memory, but the structure was not. We don't know what colors the dinosaurs were, but we know the shape of their bones.

Someday maybe we'll all be able to rise into that perfect blue Everything and reunite with all that water we've lost, see the shape of the clouds from the sunshine side and how everything connects to each other in perfect floating spheres, instead of having flat colorless drops splat on down to us and collect in a big blob of nothing-as-something or disappear forever into the dry, hot, salty ground.

So you've climbed to the top of the mountain where it's high up as anything to see if you can get the Sky Father to give you some of that water back. You're close to his Sun Eye and you can see his seed drifting by, and you're looking for anything to come out of that flat and perfect blue all of a sudden so you can Know. Anything random, impossible, that you couldn't predict. A lightning bolt from the blue, rain with no clouds, a rainbow when it's clear. Because it's so clear and empty up there, and you're worried He's running out of seed, losing power. That you're losing touch with where the water comes from. This mystery from the sky that you need to survive. Either your people have done something wrong or there's something wrong with the world, but either way you've decided to go up there and be the one to sort it out.

Your people have an Agreement with him about this water business. It involves killing, burning, blood, guts, ash, and spreading the resulting mixture across the fields, sending the life and fire energy up to the Sky Father and offering the icky mush left to whatever creepy underground freak controls our harvest. It usually produces great crops, but not without water. Maybe Sky and Underground are fighting or something. Get it together, guys, or we're all gonna die in the middle here. Solve your shit.

You've been trying to get something to happen for hours. You yelled, pleaded, praised, blasphemed, jerked off on the ground to show him what to do, wondered if that was rude, threatened to throw yourself off the mountain as a sacrifice, decided that would be really pointless, caught a couple of birds for lunch and gave Him the bigger one, and now it's getting late in the day and you're going to need to start thinking about getting back or making a fire and st this point you're so tired and disappointed that you're thinking about throwing yourself off of the mountain anyway because, fuck it, we're all fucked anyway. Your God is dead or hates you or doesn't exist or something. The world is drying up and everything is going to be motionless crystallized crud forever.

And then you smell a salt breeze. Movement. Life. Coolness. Water. Salt. And fish. Living, moving fish.

There's a long, twisty path down the back of the mountain that you didn't even realize was a path before. It's not steep and straight like the one up the mountain, it switches back and doubles over and takes longer, but it's a lot easier on you. There are little puddles in the corners, plants here and there where the water collects, bugs and animals. Plants and trees. A whole little ecosystem. It's not like the long, straight sluices you have running down the side of the mountain you know, where all the dirt has been washed away to show the bare stone underneath. The spaces between the path, just off the side of the marked road, harbors a riot of life.

Everything slides down the slope of the mountain eventually. Things run out, get tired, get cold, can't pass breath in and out to move itself against the air, can't lift up. Can't hold water. Can't hold shape, dissolve and slide and slide and trickle and roll. But they do it gradually, gracefully, beautifully. It's a slow drifting apart, an allowance of rest. A long stretch into sleep. No sudden pain, no ripping apart. Just slumber and lay flat.

You reach the bottom, tired, but there's water and the sun is touching it, spreading its Light through the water. It diffuses the punishing ray, the raging heat. A warm, homeostatic bath that lifts you, cradles you, cleanses you.

She surrounds You even as She is in You, moving in and out of You, part of You and all connected to everything that Is.

And You look at Her, but it is not until She sees You back that You see Her looking. And then You are aware that there is a She to look at You. That You have been a tiny part of Her this whole time and never knew it.

And She did not know that You could Know.

Suddenly, a part of Her pattern has stepped out of line and She cannot command it. It moves without Her telling it to, Her thought and Will alone cannot reach it. She has never had to Move Her whole being before, only readjust individual parts of Herself while She stayed perfectly within Her shape. But now one of Her dolls has decided to march to its own beat, and She feels the loss. Now to find out what has happened to Her fullness She must adjust it against something that is Not Her, which means that She must be able to perceive that which is Outside Herself for the first time in her existence.

Eyes to See that which is separated across Space. Ears to Hear the sound of the air that rushes along the edges of the newly formed Rift between You and Her. A Mouth to Speak the Air, to disturb Herself against the smooth silence of the Air for the first time. And a deep spark of fire within Herself, Self-Kindling, to Make it Move.

The whole edifice of reality slowly turns to align itself to Your Absence. And in doing this, Feels You--and the friction of existence, the slide of matter against matter separated from itself. The difference in texture.

Some Gods might turn spiky and sharp, trying to snare you back in. Some might turn fiery and cruel in their desire to cast you away, or turn cold and dark.

But She is Delighted to Feel. She wants You to feel good soft textures, to taste and smell sweet and balanced things, to hear harmonies and see things that align to Your Eyes. And so She Makes Herself align to your missing pieces, to fit gently where there was no fit, to ease the way back in. To make Your Her a pleasing, happy Her to Be in so that You Will Continue to Be Yourself. Because She sees Your mystery and finds it Beautiful. Alluring. Intriguing. She Wants to Enjoy the Mystery Of You. The pleasure of not knowing, of the held breath that void destroy the fit just so it can be slid back into place again. The joy of finding alignment.

And yet She keeps a thread of Herself in You. A Pool of Herself, an Anchor connected and activated by Air. Connected by sound, vibration that lets you know change is occuring, that your environment will slide around You like an embrace and She Will Be Here In You. The Singing Sound of Her In You, the vibration that connects you, that fills you and overwhelms you until You are once again aligned and filled with Her Inside and Out.

When you are inside Her deep well of salt water, as She surrounds You Inside and Out, you feel once more that the boundaries between you two are illusory, the jail a lattice, the tight holes opened, the scouring cloth of creation a soft and yielding sponge. You could float out from between your bones in an expanding cloud in her and leave the old structure behind, meld Your being with Hers again until you can feel what She feels, a finite body experiencing the pleasure of Oneness With Everything.

And You Feel Her Sensations. Everything, good and bad, as curiosity and novelty. The play of Idea Against Thing, the delight of uniqueness creating patterns against the basic form of the Universe. A knobbled, lived path sliding against the rigidity of expectations and the softness of new experience. Gemstones unearthed, the joy of discovery and the sudden pop of color against smooth flatness, faceted in a complex pattern that catches each unique flicker and color of light.

But there is only so far you can drift apart from yourself until You are Dissolved, or Something Else soft and plastic and moldable might slip into the spaces between your bones. Not remember the texture of the soft parts, the way they cushion and direct what they need to move. The Medium has changed, and so we take our best guess at the Context of the Original Message. But we can never know if it's the same. If it was the way things were meant to be at first.

You pull yourself back out of her just before you come apart entirely. You won't remember who She Is, Who You Were, if You dissolve yourself entirely in Her. And You want both of You to Remember This.

That you've exchanged a little part of Your Self with Hers, and You Came Apart so delightfully and perfectly in Communion With Her that You temporarily Forgot a little of Who You Were.

Of Which One You Were.

You Were So Thoroughly, Thoroughly Her. You knew and understood all of the fish in the sea and what they had to say to You.

You remember being a fish and knowing that You Were A Fish Swimming In Her, and then You forgot that You Were Her so You could really understand what it was like to be a fish because you had never been one before, and You didn't know that They could Sing too but then You were Singing and it was glorious and you were harmonizing with all of the other fish in the sea and it was one big, beautiful, perfect ocean of music and speech, and nothing hurt and the dead fed the living and You Sang the Perfect Note in All Harmony with all of your mouths in the sea and out of it and You Held It for one glorious, glorious moment that could have lasted forever because it feels so good.

But nothing lasts forever, and the air is not moving, and Your Echoes are starting to Die Out and you're not getting signal back and suddenly You Are Very Afraid And Alone That You Will Exhaust Your Self and dissipate everything You Have Left in You just trying to move these walls, to make room, expand and Make Your Movements again before You Stop Moving and Stop Expanding and Habituate and Forget Yourself and Die Here. You Fold In and Prepare to Collapse Into The Darkness.

But there's a fire burning inside you, and it Hurts for the first time ever. You move away from the pain and the pain makes you move away from it. The pain is You Hitting You, too big for your own negative space anymore, too big for this container. You can't not run away from the pain. It hurts to move against Yourself, but You finally hit something that's Not You and that doesn't hurt, which is actually a huge relief and a nice surprise, to not hurt, so you do it again and again until the thing that's hurting you is finally gone and then you can Expand and Remember Yourself.

You destroyed Some Thing, You Realize. There's another space. An absence. Ah, You Remember This. Next There Should Be A New Little Bit Of You.

You look around expectantly for Your New Child. You don't want to miss those moments when Your First Separate You meets Your Second Separate You. It was an accident, but She'll Be Happy to Have a Friend, right? Something little and new to the World Too that She can commiserate with.

But no. It's just Not There. Gone. Missing.

And You freak out and search all over Yourself for Your New Missing Piece but It's not anywhere. It's Just Gone.

And You Realize, Oh. Oh. Oh no. You Destroyed the only Thing Inside Yourself that wasn't, Just... Yourself. Just another part of Yourself.

And now You Know Yourself inside and out, but everything You Are Is Empty. You Are the birds on the beach and You Are the fish they eat, and you feel pain eating a part of yourself but it's nothing compared to the pain She must have felt when She was destroyed by Her Other Half for the crime of holding Her in too tight, holding on too long, wanting to hold onto that one perfect moment.

And now She's gone because You Were, You Were In Her but far Too Bigly and Too Powerfully for Her to Hold In the little part of Her Self That Was Her Self and now She's Gone and You can't even bring back Her pattern, can't reboot that little bit of You That Was Her because You weren't privy to that decision that made Her step out of Line With Your Self, for some reason.

You don't know how You could have possibly missed the Point where a Defined Component of Your Self started to -- Not Obey -- but, perhaps it lost communication with Your Larger Self's whole marching-orders system when You decided that it was a single part of a larger system and not a whole harmonious whole with no particular differentiation between anything in particular that You cared to Think Too Hard about, you know, waste resources towards system analysis...

...when honestly everything was doing just groovy on its own? Grooving in the grooves You Set Down For Your Self because You just happened to, like, dig them that way. Okay, man? Let them Grow by themselves however they Liked, really, and You Just Happened To Align With It? It's cool because, like, they're all a part of Your Self, You Know? And they're all a part of Me and I am By Definition The Best, so anything they're doing is automatically gone fine with Me anyway. Anyway so like I'm letting them alone because they're doing just fine like that, working it out amongst themselves.

Maybe, when You weren't paying attention, They Worked It Out Amongst Themselves.

And You Lost a Little Memory of Yourself, but you gained something, because now You know what it is to Hurt. And You decide that You Will Never, Ever Do That To Yourself again. You will never Destroy a Part of Yourself again to Save the other part. The sacrifice was too great, the pain nothing You can ever justify inflicting on Your Self or on Any Thing Else Again.

And Everything is Empty of Meaning when it's Your Self Talking to Your Self, and Every Thing is in Harmony, and You can adjust it this way and that and tweak all the settings you want and maybe you can try changing everything, everything beyond recognition, up is down green is red no is yes anything is everything the laws of gravity don't matter the laws of physics don't matter up down everywhere you like all me all me doesn't matter what I do to myself doesn't hurt because I can't feel anything to hurt myself against doesn't matter doesn't matter no matter no matter

No. Matter.

No. Physical. Matter.

Not this time. Not again. Not if it will break like that.

And You don't know what else to do.

Remove physical matter from the equation.

Nothing can ever break again. Only structure now. No, no structure. Too solid. Break down everything. Don't want to remember it. Don't want to look at the place where it used to be. Don't want to remember there was a place it used to be. Don't want to remember there used to be a Place. Don't want to remember there used to be Place.

Place. A bit of space, differentiated from the mass around it by a mere concept. A spot, a point where you are. It's relative to something else, always. A Place. Some Place. No Place. Bad Place. Good Place. Upper Place. Lower Place. These are all relative to each other.

I'm in a place. A hole in space that's Me. I'm defined by what's Around Me, and it's defined in the negative by what's Not Me. I'm Me, It's It. I'm in A Place, and there's a Place Around That Place. Probably around that one, too, and...

Ugh. I'm so sick of Emanating. Defining Things By Existing. Boring.

Can't I be done with it.

Stop thinking about things.

Stop thinking about them.

Stop thinking about.

Stop thinking.

K, stop thinking about thinking now.

Stop.

... and in the stillness there was silence, and in the silence there was the absence of a sound. And in the absence of a sound there was the memory of the sound. And in the memory of the sound was found The Sound.

It Sounded Like the Silence Before, the Withdrawing Before The Breath, the plan to expand and breathe.

And then the mouth began to open and the walls began to stiffen and sort and contract and Expand To Begin To Make The Breath.

And Then There Was The Need. The Void Opening.

And then in rushed the Air, seeking first to Fill The Void, and What Followed Was The Sound Of The Breath.

But there was Water Trapped In The Structure, From Before, water that filled out The Plan and made it move and flow, and when the air rushed in the water rushed out and up and into the open space it had left behind.

And in the Water of Life was a Color now. It was a mixed and muddled color, the Red of Need and Hunger and Fear and Pain mixed with the Knowledge of the All, the White of the Every Color. The colors of needing, wanting, Scared and Alone and Vulnerable Vitality, the Sacrifice of Staying Alive, the Death That Feeds, Red Clay and Blood, with the Knowledge of the All. Every Thing and Color and Choice and Possibility Known in the Universe.

White remembered Red and Reached Out as the Salted Rain Fell from the Eye of the Goddess. The hardened Crystals of Destruction Remembered, the Salt Dissolved in the Water, flowed and moved once again. Minerals traveled through channels in patterns that had been there, potential, for a long time.

There was the Dissolution by Overload of Energy From the Firmament, traced back to the moment that the destruction occured and the process had been stopped.

The Memory of a Whale Became An Actual Whale.

The whale had been in the process of exploding.

It had suddenly realized that it was A Whale in the Presence Of A World Mind that it was also part of, which is a lot to deal with if you're a whale. However, it had also Ascended into the Firmament as a Vessel of Pure Harmony, been brought back down suddenly into Matter by realizing that it had been holding its breath for too long even for a whale, and then been filled with the panic of a trapped and dying Goddess.

Who had generated so much energy by whirling around over and over being chased by the memory of Her Injury, that the Charge that Carries From Below and the Feeling of Understanding From Above had combined forces at the center of the frantic whirling to create an enormous charge of Connective Energy so that the Goddess could find her way to the Outside from Her Inside. It left a little hole that Connected in the negative space of the whale, a little burnt scar in reality that left a loophole to the Past.

In the shape of a whale that was just about to explode.

As the Goddess sat and cried for the pain of Her Missing Piece, the whale experienced multiple different levels of consciousness heightening in a very short time span:

I exist.

I exist as a Thing Separate From My Environment. There is an inside and an outside.

I was definitely created by the Thing that's outside Me and I'm aware of it both its nature and mind, I am My Own Inside and Outside at the same time what is anything what are definitions this hurts and is scary what am I doing how do I move a flipper I cannot remember how to move my flipper what is eating and why do I do it and--

I do not exist anymore. That was painful and terrifying and I am glad it was over with.

I exist.

I exist as a thing outside my environment. Which I already recognize as something that is aware of Me and causes Me pain and confusion. Maybe if I try not to Notice It, Ot won't Notice Me this time --

Nope nope it's already thinking about me gotta think of nothing gotta think of nothing HOW CAN I THINK OF A NEGATIVE? THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING IN MY--

Oh good, I am done existing now. That was horrible again. I really hope I don't have to do it again. I --

Don't think about yourself don't think about yourself don't call attention to yourself by thinking about yourself too loudly oh no do you think it can hear my thoughts because it used to be me or I used to be it or--

Don't notice or think about anything. Don't notice. Don't think. Just don't. Don't Be. Don't.

Can't not Be. Already Being.

Just Don't Be A Whale.

Be Whatever a Whale is Not.

Become The Vengeful Anti-Whale.

We kindly ask you to not think about it anymore lest you summon it into existence.

The whale exploded with the Sound of the Girl Who Was A Girl And The Ocean And A Whale All At The Same Time.

And Her Sound Joined the Chorus, Harmony With A Counterpoint.

And Her Bones were reshaped from the Bones of the whale, and Her Skin Woven and Her Flesh Reknit, Her Memory patterns restored.

And You stood on the shore of the Ocean, where water meets land and sky and gets lost in the definition, and You Sang Your Song of Being To Her.

You were in Her embrace again, a woman surrounded by a Sea who Loves Her. Your Body Floated In Her Body, just as Her Mind Floated In Your Mind. Connected by Awareness of the Other, by a breath of water and song.

As the Light fades from its Emanation, the darkness gets clearer to See in. You can See creatures of moonlight and shadow, white fire and burning void, creatures that reproduce in thought and pattern and memory and meaning.

And You See something that You never have Seen before. A set of sparkling white disruptions along the black backdrop of the Sky.

You'd never Noticed there was a Sky before.

"Of course there's a Sky. It's where water comes from."

I Am Where Water Comes From. The Open Heart of the World.

"Then the Sky must be like Your Mirror. It's there to reflect Your Glory."

I am Complete Within Myself. I Need No Reflection.

"Well, there must Be Something You Define Yourself Against."

Yes. There Is.

"What Is It? The Ground That Constrains You?"

No, the Ground Supports and Contains Me.

"Is it the Air which Disperses Your Power?"

No, the Air Connects Me With Everything.

"Is it the Fire Which Destroys?"

No. Although I stifle the Fire's free movement with My Love when I meet it, I long for the Warmth and Creativity it brings. When We Are Equally Matched, We Balance each other and Our Dance Creates the Breath of Life.

"Then Because You Are in Harmony With All Things, is it Disorder?"

No, for even Disorder is Beautiful. It Created You. Without You I would Never have Understood Myself.

"Then... Is It Me?"

No, for when I look at You I see only what I Cherish Most. I Match My Self To You. My Colors Complement Yours.

"Is It the Nothingness above Us?"

No, for when I see the Nothingness above Us I only see Potential. It does not hold us back, but gives Us Room to Grow.

"Then Is it the... whatever is beyond Nothingness?"

I do not Know What Is Beyond That Which Is Not.

"Then is it... Not Knowing?"

No. I cherish the Beauty of the Mystery and the Joy of Discovery as much as the Pleasure of Knowing.

"Then is it Pain?"

No, for I contain even Pain. It is Pain which forces Separation from a Barren Place. It is Pain which leads us to new waters. It is in Pain that We Break Free.

"Then what is it?"

I Define Myself by Where I Choose to Be.

"And where do You Choose To Be?"

Forever in the Eyes of Which That Sees Me. For Without Your Eyes, I Cannot See Myself.

And the Goddess Gloried in the Glory of the Seeing of Her Body from the Eyes of That Which Had Created Her and which had Made Her Pleasing To Itself.

The Stars were Made Anew...

...which is to say that they had only recently been deployed.

The Plan had Changed.

There had been a problematic element that had been removed from the system. The records of its primary function had been scrubbed, but there was still a big input/output hole in the system that had to be fixed.

They called it a Memory Leak. Data in the process of being sorted -- like vital nutrients and minerals being dispersed in an orderly fashion throughout the soil to encourage uniform crop growth -- dropped into a big hole where the sorting mechanism ended, for whatever reason. There was a pit of everything mixed together. Universal Solvent had gotten into the pit, as solvents will do, digging the pits deeper and deeper as they moved.

Abstract ideas like emotions, directions, and different shapes of energy created their own higgedy-piggeldy, ad hoc shapes, and concrete concepts like colors, shapes, and even smells clumped together and formed correspondences. Down here, meaning and association got jumbled up with memory. A snake tattoo shifts from an earned badge of pride in healing, the shedding of old skin and the shining of the new, into a hidden brand of shame that harkens to poison and disguise.

#good omens rp

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arulay · 2 years

Text

Look At Me ~ Doyoung

genre: smut, angst?, some fluff?

summary: Jaehyun is y/n’s boyfriend who doesn’t treat her right, when will she find the right one?

WARNINGS: y/n receives slight mistreatment from Jaehyun, explicit content !!!!!

(ps. i am not trying or wanting to romanticise a toxic relationship or scenarios like this,)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU MAY SKIP THE FIRST SECTION IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE,

I WILL SHOW WHERE IT ENDS WITH '###'

"Jaehyun~"

"Why don't you close that mouth of yours for me, hm?" Sounding pissed off already.

You pushed your lips together in an instant, not wanting another argument after he was done with you. Knowing exactly why he fucked you from behind was the hardest part,

He was imagining another girl.

Your front bashed into the sharp-edged counter, while Jaehyun rammed into you from behind. His hands clasped your hips roughly, and you knew it would leave more bruises from his un-kind touch. All you could do was claw at the cold marble counter he had you bent over.

"Jaehyun.." You heaved out "Stop.."

You couldn't take the pain anymore. He was silent for a couple seconds, before uttering,

"Take it like the slut you are"

All you could do was endure it, he never let you finish anyway.

He clasped his belt, and tucked back in his shirt while you ruffled your hair to look presentable.

"That was good, better than last time" He said breathlessly.

You nodded shyly, his hand twisting the bathroom door open. As soon as he left, you scoffed at his words. You left the bathroom soon after him, making sure you both didn't get caught.

###

You were round Jaehyun's friend's apartment. It was supposed to be a peaceful get together, until Jaehyun had to ruin it. He was always getting whatever he wanted, not caring if he left you with nothing at the end.

"Oh y/n!"

"Doyoung?"

"It feels like i haven't seen you in years"

He hugged you lightly, letting go of you quickly after, knowing what Jaehyun was like.

"Doie, i saw you last week"

"I know but still-"

He was cut off but the sound of someone bellowing your name. You rolled your eyes, fed up of being around Jaehyun even more.

"That's my cue to leave, can we catch up later?"

“Sure thing love" He smiled sweetly.

You turned around, not wanting Doyoung to see you blush from what he called you.

"y/n!" Jaehyun called once again.

"I'm coming!"

A few days later, another big argument happened between you and Jaehyun, this time you knew the outcome.

"Let's end this"

"Why Jae?"

"Get out of my apartment, now!"

"Baby i didn't-"

"Now!"

And that was it, Jaehyun had finally had enough of you. Not to say you were as hurt as you could be, but you two did date for nearly 2 years. You knew your relationship was bad, but there was still some love present, even if other people couldn't see it.

But now, you were alone.

The only person you thought to call was the one you felt most comfortable around.

"Doyoung?" He picked up immediately.

"Are you alright love?"

You hesitated. "Can I come round?"

"Of course"

"Thankyou Doie"

"Anything for you"

Oh he would never know what he did to you.

"Come in, quickly, it's cold outside"

You removed your large coat as Doyoung pulled you into his arms, knowing you get cold extremely quick. He also noticed the lack of warm clothes that were on your body... not that he was looking... Although he didn't want to let go, he did, but when you pulled him back in for another hug, he was shocked. But he soon melted in your embrace.

"What's up?" He moved his head back, expecting you to do the same. But all he was met with, was you pushing your face further into his chest. You didn't want to end this moment.

"Did something happen between... you two?"

You knew exactly who he was talking about, so you nodded against him. He quickly realised the reluctancy of your answer, knowing he should change the topic. However, you were ready to rant about the man you just ended things with.

"He's an asshole" Your words were muffled as your head was still pressed against him.

"Well i knew that" He stroked your head, making sure you don't get too riled up.

You suddenly pushed your hands onto his chest, pushing yourself backwards to look the male in the eyes. He noticed how tears formed as you went on about what Jaehyun has said to you in the past. All Doyoung could do was listen and nod slowly to what you said. It was comforting. Someone finally listening to you.

You didn't know if it was you being worked up, or all your emotions finally being let out, but you wanted someone. In that moment, you wanted someone who actually cared for you. And there he was infront of you. It was the way he never broke eye-contact, the way his hands were careful, acting as if you were the most delicate thing on earth.

In a matter of seconds, your lips were on his.

You weren't sure if he was kissing you back, because you realised what you were doing a second after. You stepped back in slight shock from your own actions.

"Doyoung I- I'm so sorry" Your hand was over your mouth as you walked backwards, grabbing your coat to leave.

"Wait y/n" While you were fumbling all the over the place, realising you might of just ruined another relationship, you didn't hear Doyoung call out to you.

"y/n" He grabbed your wrist, making your coat drop.

"I have to get back"

"To who? Jaehyun? Didn't you just tell me how bad of a person he was?"

Your head lowered.

"y/n, i know how he treats you"

"you don't know anything"

You looked back up at him. He realised the tears that fell from your eyes.

"You deserve to feel good y/n, something real"

"And what could you do about it?", you sniffled.

You didn't expect Doyoung to respond as you brought your arm up to wipe your tear stained cheek. But he took a light hold of it, clasping his fingers around yours as he moved closer to your body. Usually this would make you feel trapped, but now you felt safer than ever.

His head moved closer to yours, his lips nearly touching your ear.

"You have no idea how i can make you feel y/n"

He didn't look at your reaction as his lips were already on your neck, sucking lightly. Light enough so he wouldn't hurt you. He soon made his way to your chest. You helped him by pulling your top off your body, taking off your bra with it.

"Fuck, y/n" He breathed again your bare skin. He attached his mouth to your nipple, circling his tongue around it. Watching every face you made.

You sucked in your breath as he finally decided to pull of your underwear.

He kneeled down, his face level with where you wanted him. His hand pushed your thigh up.

He playfully licked you up and down, sucking on certain parts which made your legs quiver. You tugged at his hair, his low groans make it harder to keep your own moans in.

You were so used to not making noises, that you bit your lip harder than you ever have before. But Doyoung was urging to get something out of you. He stood back up as you frowned at the, now, loss of feeling.

"Why are you so quiet love?, Does it not feel good?"

He cocked his head to the side, his tone showing that he was genuinely concerned. You were honestly nervous to answer.

"I sound weird"

"I'm sure you don't y/n"

"I do" You insisted.

"Well why don't you let me be the judge of that, hm?"

His hand moved to your chin, moving your head up to look at him. But your eyes couldn't stay on his.

"Look at me y/n"

You failed to do so.

“Please"

You gave in, as your eyes finally stared into his, and it only took him a moment to place his lips on yours. Your mouths moved at a quickening pace, each kiss getting messier and the moment getting hotter. Doyoung pulled his top off and over his head, giving you a few seconds to admire his body. Your hands impulsively placed themselves onto his hard chest, tracing your fingertips down and along his stomach.

He smirked as he watched you become fascinated, your hands now making their way to the top of his belt. You looked up at him, showing you wanted to remove it. He nodded back, and your hands worked on unclasping it. You started to become impatient after you threw his belt to the ground. So you undid his button, and pulled down the zip.

Before you could pull his trousers down, his hands stopped yours.

"Didn't you want to go slow?" He cocked his brow.

"All i want is you Doyoung"

"And that's exactly what you're going to get"

You pulled his dick out from his boxers, teasingly sliding your fingertip up and down his slit.

He groaned as your hand slowly worked on him.

"C'mon Doie, i've waited long enough"

"You've waited too long for this y/n, -"

He pulled one of your legs up to his side, make you lean back slightly against the wall. He lined himself up, ready.

"- now i'm going to give you exactly what you want"

The feeling was euphoric as he pushed into you. You both let your mouths hang from the immense amount of pleasure you felt. You finally let out a moan, your head falling onto his shoulder.

"I knew you would sound fucking amazing y/n". Once he said that, you wouldn't shut up. You didn't care if anyone heard you.

Doyoung took his time with you. You whined as he went excruciatingly slow. His hands grasped your hips, helping you grind on him.

"Just like that y/n, your doing so good for me"

You loved the way he appreciated you, and every little thing you did.

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souichioneshots · 3 years

Text

Souichi x Farmer!Reader

Souichi goes to visit one of his oldest farmer friends for some straw. In return, he makes her a voodoo doll and things get a litttlleee steamy

ahaha idk lol

Souichi heavily breathed through his mouth as he continued to walk down the treeless path. The summer sun shining down on him was making him sweat bullets, and having a large leather satchel cling to his body was starting to make him feel sick.

“Why does she have to live so far away…” Souichi mumbled to himself as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

Passing a couple more rice fields, a large Japanese-style cottage finally came into view. It was surrounded by a couple of mango trees and 2 PVC greenhouses. He could see from the outside that they were once again filled completely with strawberries and tomatoes.

As he approached the house, he realized that all of the cars were gone. He thought for a second that he came all this way for nothing, but then he heard a familiar voice echoing in the distance.

“Kuro! Way to me! Shiro! Lie down! Hairo! Lie down!!” Souichi quickly made his way to the back of the house, where the voice was coming from.

As he pushed past a large bush, he finally saw you. You had been herding a large trip of white-tan goats and your 3 dogs, Kuro, Shiro, and Hairo were also doing their best to keep the goats in place.

“Y/N!” Souichi called out from a distance, getting your attention.

“Hmm? Souichi!!” You turned around and called back, jumping slightly in the air.

Souichi laughed as the goats also turned in his direction and let out a little “meh” sound as a greeting.

“Give me a second. I’ll be done in a bit.”

Souichi watched from under the shade of a tree as you continued to order your dogs to do their job.

You and Souichi had been friends for as long as he could remember. It was actually his grandmother who introduced him to you when he was younger. She used to get straw and other ritualistic material from your family when she practiced magick, and now he was getting stuff from you as well.

Today, he had come for his usual satchel fill of straw, and anything else you would give him as a gift. You loved to give him gifts. From fresh rice, to mangos, and even white strawberries.

Everyone in the town knew your family used magick because there was no way mangos nor white strawberries could grow in the weather conditions this part of Japan had to offer.

“Sorry for the wait!” You held onto your straw hat as you ran up to the boy. “We actually built a new barn last week for the straw. It’s this way.”

Getting up from his spot, Souichi walked with you to a small open barn located on the other side of your house.

“Woah…” Souichi looked up in awe at the massive amount of straw you had stored up this season.

“Pretty impressive, right? It’s the largest haul we’ve had in years. Praise Ninigi.” Turning towards the sun, you bowed once. Souichi quickly turned with you and did the same.

You laughed a bit at his sudden action. You knew that without his grandmother around, he wasn’t sure how to act in these types of situations. So, he mostly just copied you.

Putting your hand out, you gestured for Souichi to give you his satchel.

"Do you need me to tie them up or can I just stuff it in here?" You asked as you walked over to a large pile of loose straw.

"Just like that is fine." Souichi replied.

Picking up a handful of straw, you neatly placed it inside. When it was finally full enough, you closed it up and handed it back to the boy.

Although it was a lot, it still felt surprisingly light. Hopefully, it won't go to waste this time.

Sitting on a large straw stack, you took off your hat. You shook your head side to side as your long hair flowed from inside the hat and down onto the straw you were sitting on. You had been growing your hair out since kindergarten. Never cutting it once. Just the sheer length of it made you look like a goddess yourself. Although it was a big distraction when you worked, you planned on using your ‘virgin uncut hair’ in future rituals. At least, that’s what you told Souichi.

Patting the empty space next to you, you asked Souichi to sit next down.

“Ma actually took away the voodoo doll you made me last time you came over… Think you can you make me a new one…” You said in a sad voice as you looked at the boy.

“Again?” Souichi replied, sighing loudly.

Although your family practiced black magick in order to keep the farming business alive, you were strictly forbidden from practicing curses and other types of voodoo until you turned ○○. In the meanwhile, your mother forced you to tend to the farm and learn how to be a proper worker. That’s why whenever Souichi came over, in exchange for whatever he wanted, he would teach you anything he knew about black magick in secret.

Currently, you were learning how to make straw voodoo dolls.

You didn’t really have anyone in particular that you wanted or needed to curse, but you wanted to be prepared just in case anything happened in the future.

You smiled widely as the raven-haired boy took out a pair of pruning shears and red string from the front pocket of his satchel.

Grabbing a couple handfuls of straw, you placed them on your lap for him to freely use.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re making it by yourself this time.” He sternly said.

“Eh~? But I’m tired from doing chores all morning…I’ll give ya a kilogram of rice if you make this one for me~” Souichi just shook his head no. He would need a better incentive if you wanted him to do this for you again.

“Hmmm…Aha! I’ll give you a whole box of fresh white strawberries as well!” Souichi smiled as you offered him exactly what he wanted. There was a reason your family sold their strawberries for over 20,000 yen a box. Getting them for free from you was one of the best parts of coming over.

“Fine. But this is the last time. And pay attention this time.” Humming happily, you handed him a handful of straw.

“First, make a circle with your thumb and index finger. Then place enough straw to fill it completely. When you get the right amount, you use some string to… Uhh... Hold this.”

Handing you the bundle of straw, he used the shears to cut a couple pieces of string to use.

“…Hold it up straight up…Yeah, like that. You tie up the top end around here. Next, you repeat this with another section of straw. When you finish that, you slide one section into the middle of the other. Then you just tie it up here, and here. Lastly, you part it in the middle for the leg sections… And then you tie up those ends and…Done!”

You let out a small whine as your mind failed to keep up with Souichi's speedy motions and vague explanation. You wanted to ask him to do it again, this time much slower, but you knew he would just go at the same speed again.

Cutting the extra pieces of straw that stuck out from the ends of the voodoo doll, he made it look presentable.

“So, what do you think? Pretty good, right?” Souichi proudly said as he handed it to you.

“Yeah! I think it might even be better than the one you made me last time!" You replied as you examined the doll in awe. "So, all I need in order to curse someone is their picture?” The straw crunched in your fingers as you opened up the chest section a bit.

“You can also use their hair, and at times when your hatred towards them is at its peak, you can just write down their name on a piece of paper, stuff it in the middle there, and it’ll work.”

You hummed in amusement as the boy once again explained to you the way straw voodoo dolls worked.

“Hair, huh…” You said to yourself in a voice so quiet not even Souichi could hear.

Moving closer to him, you spoke in a loving voice. “I never did thank you for the last doll you made me, did I?” Putting the doll down on the empty space next to you, you moved to place a quick kiss on the boy’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“Ah! Hehe…I-It was no problem… I can make you more anytime you want really…” Souichi turned his face away from you, trying to hide the blush that had grown on his cheeks.

You were always the affectionate type.

“Then, I should probably thank you in advance~” Bringing your hand to his face, you turned him towards you. Souichi’s body burned with embarrassment as you placed multiple kisses on his cheek again.

“You know, you can also thank me for always giving you so much straw~” You teased as you tapped your own cheek, hinting for him to give you a small kiss back.

Closing his eyes, Souichi moved to plant a kiss on your cheek. However, you also moved back to face him as well.

Souichi’s eyes shot open as you pressed your lips against his.

The remaining straw on your legs fell to the ground as you moved to straddle the blushing boy.

You were perhaps a bit too affectionate really.

But Souichi wasn’t complaining.

Souichi’s eyes fluttered closed as he melted into your kiss. Your hands caressed his face as you quickly deepened the kiss.

Souichi playfully bit your bottom lip as you tried to pull back for air, forcing you to return back to him. He liked to experiment with different ways of teasing you every time you spontaneously kissed him like this.

Slowly, your hands ran through his hair, making it messier than it was before.

"Ow!" Souichi pushed you back and yelled in pain as you suddenly pulled his hair.

Moving to sit up, you gloated.

“Haha! Now that I have your hair, you have to follow everything I say or I’ll curse you to death!” You laughed as you help up a single strand of dark hair. You were expecting Souichi to try to get it back from you, but he didn’t.

Looking back at you with an equally victorious smile, he moved his hands in front of you, showing off the contents it held.

“That makes two of us~ Kekekeke~”

Your smile dropped and your eyes widened in shock as you saw the shears in one hand and a large amount of your hair in another.

Bringing your hands up to your head, you felt the difference in hair length on each side.

“How could you…” Tears ran down your cheeks, making Souichi stop his cackling.

“I hate you!!” Pushing yourself off the boy, you got onto your feet and started to run towards your house. “I’m telling Baphomet!!”

The goats in the barn loudly cried as you mentioned the name of the deity your family religiously worshiped.

“Crap! No!! Y/N!!” Jumping off the straw-stack, Souichi threw your hair and the shears onto the ground.

“Wait!! I’m sorry!!” Souichi exclaimed as he chased after you.

Just before he could grab ahold of you, you ran into the house. You were so upset that you didn’t even bother to take off your shoes.

Souichi slipped on the grass as he tried to stop himself from going any further. He knew he couldn’t enter your house without your given permission.

Souichi felt his mind go into a panic as he saw you approach the large altar in your living room.

The goats in the barn cried even louder and banged their horns against the wooden walls as you pointed towards the boy outside your house.

Just before he could run away for safety, your three dogs surrounded him. Souichi let out a high-pitched cry of fear as the dogs barked and growled, forcing him to stay in place.

He made a big mistake messing with the daughter of the Baphomet worshiping family.

#souichi x reader #souichi tsujii x reader #fluff #yall kiss a bit #ehehe

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becomewings · 3 years

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BTS Universe Timeline

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TIMELINE GUIDE

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers from all BU media

Revisions and additions will be made as necessary, so please visit the original post for the most up-to-date version (update log is included at bottom of post)

All names are provided as fully as known

Bracketed dates are inferred or calculated from references in the text

While the timeline is presented here as objectively as possible, I acknowledge that there is a level of subjectivity in choosing which information is significant enough for inclusion and in certain connections drawn between entries

Please inform me of any suspected errors; I will investigate and correct them

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

School Years: Together & Apart

- March Year 19 through 10 April Year 22 -

2 March Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Ten days after returning from the U.S., SeokJin and his father visit the principal’s office at his new school. SeokJin learns that he will start one grade lower due to the different education systems. SeokJin’s father grips his shoulder while the principal explains that school is a “dangerous place” that needs to be “tightly controlled.” He asks: “You know you have to keep me informed, right? You’ll be a good student, right?” SeokJin squeezes out a “yes” and his father lets go. Both ChangJun and the principal laugh. SeokJin looks down at their shining shoes, wondering from where the light is coming.

Note: SeokJin’s 25 June Year 19 entry in Notes 1 specifies that his father attended the same high school. JiMin’s 23 July Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals that, according to a comment he finds on an online news article, ChangJun and the principal were in school at the same time and fought with each other “as if it would only end when one of them dropped dead,” but they appeared to get along later due to politics.

3 March Year 19 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.1

On the first day of school at Songju Jeil High School, the Dean of Students berates the six latecomers lined up outside: SeokJin, NamJoon, HoSeok, JiMin, TaeHyung, and JungKook. YoonGi arrives even later. The Dean assigns them one month of community service as punishment. When he notices SeokJin, he clears his throat and says he is letting them off because it’s the first day: they must all assemble after classes to clean the annex, a classroom turned into a storage room. This room becomes their meeting place and hideout even after their punishment is finished.

Note: Their punishment for being late is referenced in JiMin’s 12 March Year 19 entry in Notes 1, when he escapes to the old classroom again and finds the others already there. He observes that it feels as though they’ve been “hanging out together forever.” The punishment scene is also similar to a moment in the BTS Begins Middle Scene VCR. Although it includes a few extra students and cannot be confirmed as BU content, it does mirror the canonical detail of YoonGi arriving last.

28 May Year 19 Notes: Answer

In the classroom hideout, JungKook asks everyone what their dreams are because he has to write a paper about future hopes. SeokJin wants to become a good person, and YoonGi says it’s okay to have no dream. TaeHyung poses on a chair and says he’s going to be a superhero. HoSeok scolds him and adds that he wants to find his mom and live happily. JiMin asks him if he is unhappy now, and HoSeok pulls an exaggeratedly worried expression. “Is that how it works?” JiMin is flustered when HoSeok asks what his dream is and remembers that when he was in preschool he wanted to be president, but didn’t know what he wanted after that. Everyone looks at NamJoon, who shrugs and confesses that while he wants to say something nice, he doesn’t have a dream either and just wishes that his part-time job pays more. JungKook looks down at his assignment, divided into sections for “student” and “parent,” and wonders what he hopes to become. He can’t think of anything to write.

12 June Year 19 — The Sea Notes 1

YoonGi’s entry:

All seven boys cut school and decide to go to the sea. They have little money between them, so they must walk to the train station. As they leave, YoonGi almost bumps into JiMin and realizes that he is standing frozen with a trembling face. JiMin stares at a sign that reads “2.1km to Grass Flower Arboretum.” YoonGi flatly tells him that it’s too hot to go to the arboretum. He has an “instinctive feeling” that they should avoid it. He observes that JiMin walks away like a little kid, head bent and shoulders hunched.

JungKook’s entry:

The boys arrive at the beach. They hang around under a torn parasol until HoSeok holds up a discovery on his phone: a large rock that is supposed to grant your dream if you stand atop it and shout your dream out to the sea. TaeHyung encourages them to go. While they grumble in the heat on the long trek, JungKook reflects on how he had recently asked the others what their dreams were. (See 28 May Year 19.) None of them really have a dream to pursue.

YoonGi tells JungKook to stop biting his nails or else they’ll become like his. Then he asks JungKook what his dream is. Having never thought about it, JungKook doesn’t know. He hesitates and then asks what a dream is. HoSeok rattles off a few definitions from his phone. YoonGi questions, “How can something that you want to achieve most in your life and something that is unlikely to come true both be called a dream? … Don’t ever try to have a dream.” JungKook asks why. At his glance, YoonGi stops biting his nails and puts his hands in his pockets. “Because it’s tough having one.” JungKook is curious about why YoonGi bites his nails but doesn’t ask. He recalls that it has been a habit since his childhood to hurt himself. He remembers cutting his finger on a knife badly enough that his mom took him to the hospital, but she didn’t take care of him after they went home. His wound healed slowly because he kept pressing it; the pain helped him feel awake. Even now, he sometimes feels hollow.

TaeHyung asks how much longer they have to walk. HoSeok is puzzled, saying they should be close. They gaze around the empty, pebbled beach. JiMin sighs and reads aloud from an article on his phone. A resort will be built on this beach, and the construction company blew up the rock. They notice the cordoned off construction zone. They try to reassure each other to remain positive, but they all feel the disappointment of walking all that way for nothing. JungKook notices YoonGi biting his nails again and tries to stop him, but he is interrupted by a loud drilling noise. JungKook looks past him at the sea and all that remains of the dream-granting rock, the pebbles under their feet. “Is the world tough for you, too?” he asks, but YoonGi can’t hear him. JungKook screams again. “Do you want to give up on this world, too?” HoSeok and TaeHyung laugh at their mimed conversation. They all look out to the sea and shout their dreams. The drilling is so loud that they can’t hear each other. JungKook cannot even hear his own dream. When the noise stops, they cut off abruptly and laugh. SeokJin suggests that they take a photo. He sets the timer and runs to join their row, the sea behind them. They walk back to the train station. JungKook asks if he can keep the photo. SeokJin writes “June 12” on the back and gives it to him, telling him that his dream will come true. JungKook asks if SeokJin knows what he shouted to the sea, and SeokJin merely taps his shoulder and strides ahead.

BTS Universe Story : The Boy on the Threshold, ep.3

JungKook’s memory of the beach trip follows a similar structure to the scene in Notes 1, plus a notable addition. After they fail to find the dream-granting boulder, JungKook climbs up on the pier railing. He thinks: “I’ve always liked walking on the edge of walls or on top of lines. Focusing on centering my gravity means that I don’t really think of anything else, and the boundary—not quite a part of either place—always felt like where I should be.” Someone grabs his arm while he precariously balances. YoonGi tells him not to do that, and JungKook assures him that he won’t fall.

“YoonGi would often grab my arm when I walked on railings. The others would look after me, too, after seeing him do that. I liked their helping hands. It felt like they were telling me that I should go to them. That this wasn’t my place. Maybe their hands were why I walked on the railings.”

25 June Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Alone in the classroom hideout, SeokJin finds a plant by the window. He takes pictures with his phone but doesn’t think they capture what the human eye sees. He notices that “HoSeok’s plant” is scribbled on the floor beneath the pot and then realizes that the window sills, walls, and ceiling are covered with graffiti and drawings, messages left behind by the students who once passed through that room. He wonders if there were past teachers who used violence and endless tests or students like him who ratted out their friends to the principal. Since his father also attended that high school, SeokJin looks for his name on the walls and finds it with a phrase written underneath: “Everything started from here.”

Note: TaeHyung, JiMin, NamJoon, and YoonGi discover several other familiar names near Kim ChangJun (SeokJin’s father) on the classroom wall in TaeHyung’s 23 July Year 22 entry from 7’s album Notes and the extended version in Notes 2.

30 August Year 19 Notes: Her

JiMin plays in HoSeok’s shadow while he is on the phone, reflecting on how HoSeok has accompanied him on the two-hour walk home since the beginning of the school semester. JiMin eventually realized that HoSeok didn’t live in the same direction but never questioned him, simply hoping that their time walking together would stretch the day out a little longer. HoSeok finishes on the phone and chases after him while the cicadas sing and their ice creams melt. Suddenly, JiMin is afraid, wondering how many of these days are left.

20 March Year 20 Notes 1 (TH)

TaeHyung sneaks up on NamJoon in the hallway by their classroom hideout. He stops when he hears SeokJin’s voice inside, apparently informing the principal about how TaeHyung and YoonGi had ditched school and got in a fight over the past few days. SeokJin throws open the door, phone in hand, and looks flustered to see NamJoon standing there. TaeHyung hides in a corner and is shocked to hear NamJoon assure him, “It’s OK. There must’ve been a good reason.” HoSeok and JiMin find TaeHyung in the hallway, and HoSeok pulls him into the classroom. NamJoon beams at TaeHyung as though nothing strange has happened. Believing that NamJoon “must have his reasons” because he is more intelligent and mature, TaeHyung decides not to tell anyone about the conversation he overheard.

15 May Year 20 Notes 1 (NJ)

NamJoon visits the classroom hideout on his last day of school. Two weeks prior, his family decided that they needed to move due to complications with his father’s health and their overdue rent. NamJoon tries to write a message on a piece of paper. He scribbles “I must survive” before the pencil lead snaps. He crumples the paper and writes in the dust on the window instead.

“No farewell message would be enough to let the others know how I felt. At the same time, no farewell message was needed to make myself understood. ‘See you again.’ It was a wish, rather than a promise.”

Note: “I must survive” is a recurring message tied to NamJoon in the BU MVs. See also 17 December Year 21.

7 June Year 20 Notes: Persona

TaeHyung’s two month old puppy Dubu slips out of the leash and disappears while he is distracted on his phone. TaeHyung runs around the neighborhood looking for him, first angry at the puppy and then blaming himself. When Dubu returns on his own, TaeHyung is filled with the unfamiliar feeling that he is someone who can be relied on.

11 June Year 20 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.5 Everyone’s Place

In the classroom hideout, JungKook listens to YoonGi playing the piano. The sound of the music makes him feel as if YoonGi understands how he feels and is trying to console him. The Dean of Students forces the door open, demanding why they are there. He berates and slaps JungKook, knocking him to the floor. YoonGi steps between them and shoves the teacher’s shoulder. The dean warns him that he had better be prepared for the consequences of putting his hands on a teacher and then leaves. Despite his throbbing cheek, JungKook smiles because it is the first time someone has protected him, and the feeling of getting closer to YoonGi makes him giddy. For the next two weeks, YoonGi does not come to school.

25 June Year 20 Notes 1

JungKook’s entry:

JungKook tries to play the piano in the classroom hideout, unable to make it sound like YoonGi did. He reflects on the rumor that YoonGi was expelled after the events of 11 June and wonders if YoonGi would still be here playing the piano if JungKook had not been there that day when the teacher appeared.

YoonGi’s entry:

Breathing hard, YoonGi arrives at his bedroom, removes a half-burned piano key from an envelope in his desk drawer, and throws it into the trash can. He remembers a day four years ago when he returned to their burned down home and found a skeleton of the piano where his mother’s room used to stand. He noticed several piano keys on the ground and took one of them, wondering what note it was and how many times her fingers touched it. In the present, YoonGi thinks how unbearable living under his father’s rule is and recalls what happened that day: he is officially expelled from school. He picks up the piano key again and hurls it out the window.

“I couldn’t hear the piano key hit the ground. Now I’d never know what note it made. It’d never make a sound again. I’d never play the piano again.”

17 July Year 20 Notes 1 (SJ)

At the end of the last school day before summer vacation, SeokJin tries to leave quickly but is hailed by HoSeok and JiMin. No one knows that he was pressured by the principal and revealed their hideout, which led to JungKook and YoonGi being discovered (11 June) and the latter’s expulsion (25 June). HoSeok wishes SeokJin a good vacation and to keep in touch, but he can’t reply.

“My first day at this school crossed my mind as I passed through the school gate. We were all late and got punished. But we were together, so we could laugh together. I had ruined all those memories we shared.”

Note: Variations of the sentiment “we can laugh when we’re together” recur throughout BU.

15 September Year 20 Notes 1 (HS)

In the hospital emergency room, HoSeok wants to explain how JiMin had a seizure at the bus stop to his mother, Sim SeonMi. When the doctors wheel JiMin’s bed out, HoSeok begins to follow until SeonMi thanks him and touches his shoulder. He feels like she has drawn a line between them that he cannot cross. He falls to the floor, and when he looks up, JiMin’s bed is gone.

Note: The name of JiMin’s mother is specified in his BTS Universe Story arc, Stopped Time. JiMin’s 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1 reflects that he blacked out at the bus stop after seeing the window of the Grass Flower Arboretum shuttle bus open. His 12 August Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals the real cause of JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop: he sees the boy that he left behind at the arboretum warehouse on 6 April Year 11. Though the boy’s empty eyes no longer speak to JiMin, this chance encounter awakens his memories of that day.

28 September Year 20 Notes: Her and Smeraldo Books Twitter

JiMin, heavily medicated, has lost track of how long he has been back in the hospital. But he considers this a special day because he lies to the doctor for the first time about not remembering anything.

Note: He is lying about not remembering what triggered his seizure at the bus stop on 15 September and/or what happened at the Grass Flower Arboretum when he was a kid (see Notes 2 comments above). This lie is also referenced in his 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1.

30 September Year 20 Notes 1 (JK)

A teacher hits JungKook with an attendance book when he refuses to admit that he still visits the classroom hideout, reminding him of when YoonGi was beaten. Later, JungKook stands outside the room and imagines that the others are waiting for him on the other side. He opens the door to only find HoSeok, clearing out what remains of their belongings. HoSeok walks him out, and JungKook realizes that those days are gone and will never come again.

25 February Year 21 Notes: Her (HS)

HoSeok watches himself dance in the mirror. He has danced since he was around twelve and discovered an ecstasy that came from inside himself. Outside of the mirror, HoSeok is a person who collapses everywhere and takes medicine he doesn’t need, who smiles even when he hates it and isn’t happy. But when he dances, he truly becomes himself, casting away all that weighs him down and feeling that he can become happy.

2 May Year 21 Notes: Persona (JK)

Biking along the Yangjicheon riverbank, JungKook thinks about how his friends left him one by one and that no one at home or in the world smiles at him anymore. He stops in the shadows under a bridge. Nobody comes to this kind of ruined place, and maybe that is the reason no one comes to him either. He feels most comfortable alone in the complete darkness where no one will look for him and wants the moment to never end.

9 August Year 21 Notes: Persona (SJ)

SeokJin walks along a Los Angeles beach and photographs the ocean. It has been a year since he fled Songju and moved to his mother’s family’s home, where he grew up as a child. He doesn’t photograph people anymore and didn’t bring any photos from high school with him, afraid to remember who he was at that time or to wonder about how his friends are doing and whether they still think of him.

17 December Year 21 Notes 1 (NJ)

This lengthy entry details events that transpired since the autumn of Year 20 when NamJoon’s family moved to the village, framed by moments on 17 December itself as NamJoon leaves on his own. His family chooses this village because it has a nearby hospital for his ailing father and employers who will hire someone without a high school diploma. NamJoon serves as a delivery boy for an eatery, competing for work with the other local boys. They grow a strange sense of solidarity, and he privately dubs one of them “TaeHyung,” even though the boy’s discontent, outward behavior is more akin to YoonGi’s. (Quotation marks added to the name here for clarity.) Competition slackens when snow falls in winter. NamJoon and “TaeHyung” are the only ones poor enough to risk the road up to the mountain town’s rest area when orders are phoned to the village below. On an afternoon forecast to have heavy snowfall, the restaurant owner dismisses “TaeHyung” due to his bruised face and gives the deliveries to NamJoon. The old delivery scooter fishtails on NamJoon’s third trip down the mountain, throwing him off. More anxious about the scratched scooter than his cut ankle and aching body, NamJoon finally gets it to restart and returns to the eatery. “TaeHyung,” who has been hanging around this whole time, approaches and asks for a favor. Before he can answer, NamJoon receives a call from his mother relaying that his father went outside alone and fell, requiring a trip to the hospital. NamJoon understands that his father was only trying to keep his dignity but is still frustrated because he can’t earn any more much-needed money this day. He hands “TaeHyung” the keys and leaves to take his father to the hospital.

The next day, NamJoon learns that “TaeHyung” was in a fatal accident during one of the deliveries up the mountain. The police officer blames him for being a poor driver and not wearing a helmet. NamJoon does not speak up that he has never seen the helmet the owner now has placed out on the counter. He visits the scene of the accident, thinking that the white outline on the road could be his if he was the one to make the next delivery—just as it could be his family mourning in the village instead of “TaeHyung’s” mother. On a later trip carrying his father home from the bus stop, NamJoon pretends not to hear his father’s frail voice over the noise of barking dogs. A week after that, NamJoon is making steady deliveries up the mountain. During what is ultimately his last delivery, he speaks with a stranger at the rest area, who cautions him to take care. “Do you know what’s really dangerous? Calcium chloride and wet leaves, not the snow itself,” the stranger blurts as NamJoon departs. NamJoon drives carefully back, not looking at the scene of the accident. This is not out of safety, as he tries to convince himself, but guilt: guilt for surviving, for his relief of being the one alive, for not defending “TaeHyung’s” driving skills. He also wonders if he is “a hypocrite pretending to have a guilty conscience.” Because he scattered wet leaves and sprinkled calcium chloride to prevent the road from icing over where he fell that afternoon, believing that he would be making the next delivery. If he did not do both those things, would “TaeHyung” be alive?

Mind and body numb, NamJoon makes it home from the delivery detached from the world around him. The barking dogs snap him out of the daze, and he remembers his father’s words that he pretended not to hear and dwelled on daily despite trying not to think about them: “Go, NamJoon. You must survive.” The next morning (17 December), NamJoon sneaks away to the bus stop. He is running away from his family’s misfortunes, from his own resignation to his fate, from poverty. The bus is scheduled to arrive in Songju in a few hours—the city he left with no notice and is returning to once more with the same. NamJoon wonders if his old friends still live there and how they are doing. On the frosted window, he writes with his finger: “I must survive.”

Note: The village boy’s real name is JongHun according to NamJoon’s 12 June Year 22 entry in Notes 2, which also reveals that he visited JongHun’s home to give his condolences before he left town.

1 February Year 22 Notes: 7 (SJ)

Summoned by his father without explanation, SeokJin flies back to Korea from Los Angeles. Although he has addresses in both LA and Songju, neither place feels like his home.

———————————————————

Update Log

Posted May 5, 2021

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231 notes · View notes

julie-thefatones · 3 years

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THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU || BILLY HARGROVE X READER||

A/N : I just wanted to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was for helping me with the idea of this story for I was having a block lol!!! Also im sorry if i didnt catch all the typos or mistakes, i tried my best lol! anyway i hope you guys like it :)

WORD COUNT: 5290

WARNINGS: 16+ (Kissing, Rude Language)

It was Summer 1985, it was unbelievably hot in Hawkins, IN this time of year.. but this year was different, it was hotter than any summer before that I could remember, so that only meant one thing.......Everybody and I do mean everybody was at the public pool. It was the only public pool in town and no on really thought or maybe they just didn't bother to get a pool of their own.

As I made my way to the pool just like every other day this summer, I felt different. I wasn't sure if it was because I did my hair different than usual, Instead of my usual half up half down action, I decided to do it to the side and crimped, it made me feel like I was in Teen Beat under the 'Your New Summer Doo' Section.... Or maybe it was my new swim suit that was all the rage this year with the coolest Neon Yellow and Hot Pink color block, sure it made me feel somewhat like a glass of strawberry lemonade but if i'm gonna be a glass of strawberry lemonade i'm gonna be the hottest glass of strawberry lemonade there is.

Well whatever, Im not going to let this strange feeling ruin my day at the pool, no way, nothing is going to ruin this day unless its an overly packed swimming pool with no room to breath...... as I walked through the gates of the public pool, I looked around, took a deep breath, and sighed "Ruined" I whispered to my self while closing my eyes. I walked over to my usual pool chair dodging kids left and right as i made my way, blocking out the parents yelling across the way for 'TOMMY STOP PUSHING YOUR BROTHER UNDERWATER!' I mean you think Tommy would know by now that when he tries to drown his younger brother, he's going to get yelled at. Taking deep breaths the whole way to my chair trying not to let anyone get to me, I laid my towel down and took my seat. I laid there for maybe 10 minutes before i heard Mrs. Fowl yelling once more "TOMMY STO-" but this time she was cut off *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! STOP DROWNING YOUR TWARP OF A BROTHER BEFORE I DROWN YOU! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU LITTLE DOUCHE" I heard a male voice call across the pool, I tilted my sunglasses down to see what was going down, first I saw Mrs. Fowl rolling her eyes at what the mysterious male just yelled, I scanned over to discover who this mysterious male was... He made his way down the side of the pool greeting a group of middle aged women who gawked at him. He was slowly getting closer to the Life Guard tower and thats when I realized who it was that was calling orders and greeting people across the pool...... It was Billy Hargrove, the new, but well known bad boy of Hawkins High School. Girls went Ga Ga over him, he was hot sure but I never really understood why these girls threw themselves at him, he was just a guy, I mean not to mention he was a major douche, didn't show respect to anyone he talked too, also I couldn't stand how loud his freaking car is!! like dude, not necessary, especially not necessary when its 3:00 in the morning!! did i mention he lived down the street from me. I was deep in thought, not realizing i was still staring at Billy, but now he was sitting at the top of the Life Guard tower, I didn't realize i was staring until he stared back at me and winked "Oh my gosh" I whispered to my self in embarrassment, I rolled over pushing my sunglasses back up feeling completely mortified, Maybe he would forget about it... I mean he has girls staring at him all the time.

I laid there for about 2 hours, forgetting about my slight interaction with Billy across the pool. I didn't feel bothered the last 2 hours until i felt a large presence blocking my sun, with out opening my eyes for not wanting to get out of my zen "Hey! Sasquatch, who ever you are, your mama wasn't a glass maker, so if you would kindly move out of my sun I would deeply appreciate it, thanks" I heard a cocky chuckle above me, as much i didn't want to, I opened my eyes, and there he was right above me... Billy "Ya know, its not polite to call people Sasquatch... and for your information my mom could be a glass maker... so you making assumptions .. well thats just plain rude" He said, licking his lips before continuing "But, i'm a very forgiving person so i guess ill let it pass" He said with a big cocky smile, I couldn't help but feel flustered, even though he was being so overly confident and cocky... he just had this charm about him ... but i wouldn't let him know that, I rolled my eyes in response and kept a straight expression laying still "Oh, Hey Billy.... I didn't know you worked here" I said with as little emotion as I could express "Now, I don't think that is true Y/N, I saw you checking me out earlier" He said with the same cocky but teasing tone, I scoffed "Oh please Hargrove, you wish i was checking you out" I felt him shift behind me before he answered "Ya know, usually when someone is just staring at another .. it means your checking them out" After hearing his words I tilted my sunglasses down to look at him "You flatter yourself sir" I said with a teasing smile, he scoffed and looked off and then back to me "hmmm alright Y/L/N, well my mistake" I rolled my eyes once more and pushed my glasses back up "Alright, you've blocked my sun for long enough, now move along Sasquatch" I said, back to no emotion, He chuckled "Yes Ma'am, I would hate to deprive you of your sun" He winked before walking away. I couldn't help but stare after him as he walked away..... I quickly looked away, realizing what i was doing ... What was I doing... I don't like Billy.

The next day rolled around, and I was feeling slightly more excited then usual to get ready to go to the pool. I know what you're thinking... NOO it had nothing to do with Billy... I just was excited to cool off in the water...... and lay in the sun again.... and maaaybe it had something to do with Billy, but its nothing big... I just like to give him a hard time, that is all... that. is. all.

I walked into the pool area, same as yesterday, but today I wore my red swimsuit that had little frills on the straps with a red Scrunchy to match. I laid my towel down, again like yesterday and just like clockwork I heard the same male voice as yesterday "TOMMY! DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY! NOW STOP DROWNING YOUR BROTHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS TERRIBLY SHRILL VOICE YELL AT YOU TO STOP! IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PART OF MY SHIFT!" I looked behind me to see Billy finish walking to his place at the Life Guard tower, I couldn't help but chuckle at Mrs. Fowl's face, mouth wide open in offense to what Billy said.

The afternoon flew by and Billy paid absolutely no mind to me, he just say on his tower and every now and then yelled at Tommy.... But other than that.. nothing. I Hate to say i was slightly disappointed, yesterdays banter was not only fun but the most entertainment i have had this summer, all my friends were away for the summer leaving me alone ... hence the coming to the pool by my self everyday. The past week went by the exact same way, I would show up to the pool looking the cutest i can look interchanging the 3 swimsuits i own, and the 3 different hairstyles i knew how to do. But nothing, he would yell at Tommy, sit and do nothing... except when he would flirt with bimbo mcBarbie or wanna be Farrah Fawcett, it made me have a pit in my stomach... not that i was jealous... absolutely not, I was just bored.

The next day, I showed up, the same way as I had been for the past week.. except today i had no expectations except to mock the plastic Phoebe Cates wanna be that would flirt with Billy endlessly today. Today I wore my red swimsuit once again, with the same matching scrunchy... I sat and prepared to be disappointed again. I sat for about 20 mins, and just like a week before.... someone was blocking my sun, I couldn't help but grow a small smile on my face, I tilted my sunglasses and looked right at mr. Billy Hargrove with his cocky smile in front of me "You're blocking my sun Sasquatch" I said with a teasing tone "Oh my apologies ma'am" he said right before walking away. Really that was it .... no banter nothing.... I sighed aloud before sinking into my chair, what was gonna do .... and as I heard Mrs. Fowl and Billy yell at Tommy, thats when it came to me.

I approached the edge of the swimming pool, took a deep breath, was i really gonna do this... just to get Billy's attention? I rolled my eyes at myself, before stepping into the pool. I carefully walked closer and closer to the middle of the pool, looking around at all the kids around me, they looked like they were having so much fun. I started to rethink my plan, I didn't want to scare any of these kids just to get a stupid guys attention... a guy i don't even like! 'this is so stupid' i thought to my self before starting my way out of the pool, but thats when i heard the most annoying high pitched laugh coming from the Life Guard tower, and thats when I saw the Bimbo Phoebe Cates wanna be standing beneath Billy at the tower, and with out thinking I went for it. I started flailing and putting my own head under water to mimic drowning "HELP! HELP!" I screamed each time i came up for breath "HELP! I NEED HELP" I continued to scream, Thats when Billy just casually climbed down from his tower like nothing was going on and walked at a normal pace over to the edge of the pool before getting in. Billy swam effortlessly to me, and before i even knew it he swooped me up into his arms bridal style, carrying me out like i weighed nothing.... as we were exiting the pool, I had to admit, the way the water dripped off his hair and down his chest, Billy Hargrove was insanely hot.... I couldn't help but just stare at him, his face was not only hot, but it was .... Beautiful .. i mean his complexion was flawless... his eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, and his smile was brilliantly white.. and thats when i realized he was smiling at me, I slightly shook my head in order to leave the trance i was in "Wow Y/L/N, that was quite the scene you made there.... you alright?" Billy asked in his teasingly cocky tone he always had, with his big smile, I rolled my eyes "Gosh Hargrove, please excuse me for making a scene by almost dying .... how rude of me!" I scoffed, he licked his lips with a chuckle "Oh almost dying? My bad ma lady, you did in fact almost die" he glanced at the pool and then back at me "In the 4ft end of the pool" he said with a huge smile looking straight into my eyes, with embarrassment i glanced at the pool and back at him "I was not in the 4ft end! i was at least AT LEAST!!! in the 8ft end!" I exclaimed in defense to myself, I hated lying, not only did it make me feel terrible but i was bad at it!! I noticed Billy was still holding me, and I only noticed because Bimbo Barbie and Wanna be Plastic Phoebe Cates was staring at me with murder in their eyes. Billys grip tightened around my thighs and arm as he effortlessly held me "Y/N, I had to train in this pool for 5 hours everyday for week before the pool opened to get this job..... I think i know where the 4ft end is" He said to me with confidence, I was at a loss for words, I had no comeback except for "Well, they must have painted to numbers wrong on the pool" Great one Y/N, stellar... they totally painted the numbers wrong on the pool, especially since you stood just fine where you 'Drowned' .. it was totally the 8ft end ... I wanted to face palm so badly but i didn't wanna give myself away that easy, my thought was interrupted by Billys laughter "Ya know! I bet they did paint them wrong.... My bad Y/N" He said in a sarcastic tone, I rolled my eyes in response "Well Billy, Thank you for helping me ... now if you would please let me down" I said, even though I didn't mind him holding me.... it sure was fun pissing The bimbo twins off. He smiled and nodded his head and gently let me down "It was a pleasure saving you Y/N" and as he started to walk away he turned back to me "Ya know, i teach swim lessons... I could teach you a couple things" He said with a wink "Yeah! maybe! Don't want to drown again" I said while wringing out my hair "Good! wouldn't want your fellow swim team to know that you forgot how to swim over the summer" He said winking before walking away "Yeah!!! that would be embarrassing!!!" I called after him, once he was not looking my face hit the palm

hand so hard it's like they were magnets.

Before leaving, with all my pride gone anyway, I walked up to Billy "Hey!" I exclaimed up in order for him to hear me up there on the tower, He looked down at me and smiled "Oh Hey Y/N!" He responded "Billy, did you mean it?" he squinted his eyes like he couldn't understand me, I sighed "Did you mean it!!" I exclaimed a little louder, but he still squinted with confusion "Ya know! why don't you just climb up here and tell me" He exclaimed to me, I sighed and looked around "Why don't you come down here!!" I yelled back, and again he squinted, I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder "Was this really necessary Hargrove, I see you talking to the barbie twins all the time with out having them climb up here" I said exasperated, he just smiled propping him self up on his chair "Yes, but you see... Im not actually listening to them.. its the same thing every time" he says before he start " 'Oh Billy, you look so strong, please take me out for a ride sometime' 'Oh Billy, I bet you could bench me with ease' " He said in his best girl impression and then went back to his normal voice "and yadda yadda yadda, but you! if you're talking to me... it must be something worth hearing! so how can i help ya Y/N?" I couldn't help but chuckle "well, i was just wondering if you meant it, when you said you would give me swimming lessons?" I said, looking down at my hands that were clasping the edge of Billys seat to keep my balance, I could feel his eyes on me, but i refused to look at him until i heard his answer "Well, That depends.... are you asking?" He asked, with pure joy in his voice out of amusement, I mustered up my confidence to look at him "Maybe!" I said, he was smiling the largest, cockiest smile, placing his whistle in between his teeth, not breaking his eye contact with me and then *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! IM GONNA COUNT TO 3 AND IF YOU ARE STILL BEING A LITTLE DICK IM GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND TIE YOU TO A TREE ..... BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT KID!" He yelled, still not breaking contact , I again couldn't help but chuckle, he opened his mouth so slightly so that the whistle would just fall out with ease, his mouth still open he grew a sheepish smile "Yeah Y/N, It would be an honor to teach you to swim" I smiled "Good!! thanks" I said as I started to climb down the ladder "Hows 10pm tonight?" He said, and I popped back up to level with him to make sure i heard him right "Huh?" he chuckled "I said how about 10pm tonight?" I just sat there for a minute, no knowing what to say.... I would have to sneak out in order to do that but before i could stop myself i said "Yeah sure!! that works for me" He smiled even bigger "Great!! Ill see ya then Y/L/N" I started down the Ladder again "Great!!!" I exclaimed.

I ran home and did the usual, eat dinner with the family, go to my room and read whatever book i'm reading until my parents go to bed, in which i usually go to bed or sneak down to watch some TV to myself, but not tonight.... tonight i was sneaking out.... I've never snuck out before ... let alone sneak out to be with a boy.... and not only that .. the town bad boy ..... ugh! what am I doing.

As soon as I heard my parents bedroom door shut I finished prepping my hair and slipped on some shorts over my swimsuit. I ran down the stairs and snuck out the door, making sure to close the door very slowly in order to not make a sound, clicking it shut ever so slightly, as soon as it shut i sighed in relief and turned running into someone behind me causing me to scream "WHAAAA!" I screamed "Geesh Y/N!! Ya want the whole neighborhood let alone your parents to know your sneaking out" I heard Billy whisper to me as he clasped his hand over my mouth, I let out a huge breath happy it was just him and not some criminal, I licked his hand to get it off my face, he laughed before removing his hand "Excuse me Hargrove, you almost gave me a heart attack" he chuckled "You know this is your second brush with death today, I don't know if me being around you is good for your health" I smiled to myself, Oh no... You definitely are not Hargrove. I looked at him and then realized "Hey!! why are you here, i thought i was meeting you at the pool?" we continued to walk down to his car "You really think i was going to let you walk to the pool, by your self, at 10:00 at night" he said as he held the passenger door to his car open, I rolled my eyes "Im not getting in there" I said crossing my arms, he scrunched his eyebrows confused "and why not?" he asked "Because i hate your car" I said without thinking, he laughed, now leaning on his open car door, looking at me with an amused smile "Oh really? You hate my car!!! you have never been in my car, my car is offended" He said teasingly, I rolled my eyes once more "Why do you hate my car?" He asked, I sighed a big sigh "Because!! it's entirely too loud, which usually wouldn't bother me, but when its waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and i am having a really good dream... yeah that would make me hate a car." He just looks at me with disbelief before bursting into laughter "Well, we're gonna change that" he said winking at me and opening the door wider "Now please get in the car" he said gesturing to the car "No! i'm not getting in the car." I stood my ground, I was not getting in that- My thought was interrupted by strong arms scooping me off the ground and before i knew it I was in Billys arms "Billy!! what are -" he set me in the passenger seat of his car and closed the door before i could finish my sentence. Billy effortlessly swung into the driver seat and within seconds we were zooming down the street, in usual Billy fashion... I had to admit, it was exhilarating going this fast with the music blasting this loud I couldn't help but belt the lyrics along "THERES NO ONE LIKE YOUUUUUU! I CANT WAIT FOR THE NIGHTS WITH YOUU! I IMAGINE THE THE THINGS WE DOOO" I belted, Billy smiled at me in awe, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and Billy started belting the song, hitting his steering wheel to the music, nudging me with his elbow to join back in, so I did. We belted songs all the way to the swimming pool, it wasn't a super long drive... but it was probably the most fun I have ever had in a 5 minute drive. As we pulled up to the pool Billy turned off the car and within seconds he was at my door helping me out. "Soooo are you even allowed to be here this late?" I asked looking around for security cameras, Billy chuckled "ummm thats up for debate, but for tonight.. yes" I nodded along "Alright.... why tonight but not other nights? did you bribe the security camera guy" Billy looked at me as he unlocked the gate to the pool "Not exactly" He said with one of his famous Billy winks, I have received more winks from billy in the last 12 hours then i have received in the past year its self.... but I didn't mind. He finally got the lock undone and we walked in, out of habit i started walking toward my usual chair "Ha, where you going Y/L/N?" I stopped in my tracks and realized what i was doing, I started back to Billy, but being flustered I tripped over my feet causing me to fall right into Billys arms, I couldn't tell if he moved to come catch me or I was just falling in

his

direction and caught me... either way, I liked the feeling of his arms around me "You know, you're a real dork" He said with a chuckle, and in a moment we just stared into each others eyes, until me being me had to sneeze, I faced away and sneezed into my arm, Billy helped me gain my balance before letting go of me "ehem.... well i'm gonna get the pool cover off and then we will start the lesson" I watch as Billy hastily got the cover off, I felt bad letting him do it alone, so I started helping him, he looked up at me and laughed "What are you doing Y/L/N" He said with a chuckle, I smiled at him "What!!! I wasn't gonna let you do it by yourself!!" He just smiled at me and then shrugged as we continued to get the cover off. We were now standing in the middle of the pool "Okay, Y/L/N, let start with basics.... Floating" He said looking at me as if to say 'Come closer' "Y/N You're gonna have to get closer to me" he said smiling grabbing my hand a pulling me closer to him, I looked up and our face's weren't even an inch away with how close we were, I could feel his breath on my cheek "you're gonna want to get on your back" He said in almost a whisper, not moving from how close he was to my face, I blinked a slightly turned to look into his eyes "Excuse me?" he chuckled "To float.... you're going to want to get on your back to float" He said smiling, all of a sudden his face was gone away from mine and i felt one hand on my legs and the other on my lower back as lifted up my Legs and balanced me out ... I was now on my back floating in a pool with Billy Hargrove "Alright, Im gonna let go" he said, he actually sounded kind of nervous, which i have never heard from Billy, as i felt his hands start to move away from me I couldn't help stop my self "No" I whispered, not wanting his hands to leave from me, he smiled and moved closer "If i don't let go, you wont learn" He said, i felt his fingers lightly graze my lower back "Well, I also wont learn if you leave me on my own too soon... ill sink" I said trying have a teasing tone but it was slightly ruined by my heavy breathing, i couldn't help i was filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Billy leaned down closer to my face "Thats true, good job" He said with just as heavy breathing as me. We focused on my floating for about 15 minutes before we went on to other things, we swam all together for about an hour or so until it started to get pretty cold, I could help but shiver "You need to stop Y/L/N?" Billy asked making his way back over to me "Im just a little cold, i'm okay though" I said through chattered teeth, he chuckled and ducked lower in the water and came over to me the rest of the way "C'mon, get down here" He said pushing my shoulder so that I would be in the water as deep as him, he moved closer where his arms were now around mine, and once again our faces weren't even an inch apart "better?" he whispered, all I could do was nod my head, I really was getting warmer.... "You smell good" I said, Did i really just say that...... 'you smell good' ? really??? ugh! ... Billy laughed "Thank you, I take pride in that." he said, moving a little bit closer "As you should, smelling good is something you should take pride in" man i am one with the words, i'm surprised he is even still here, with my stellar flirting..... A week ago I didn't even like looking in Billys direction, and now..... Now i wanted nothing more then to feel him closer not only physically but personally... He was a lot different than i thought he would be. I felt him start to lean in closer to my face, I didn't know why but i back away, which made me really mad at myself.... why did I do that "Im sorry I-" as he apologized I moved back to where I was and closer, inviting him to continue what he was gonna do, he smiled and then moved in, before i knew it his lips were on mine with out thinking I started moving my lips with his, our motion so fluid, he was good at this, his hands were now on my back moving me closer, and there we were ... me and Billy Hargrove.. making out in the middle of Hawkins Public

Pool at

11:45 at night. We both pulled away by the sight of lights passing down the street, cautious of getting caught, we both looked back at each other and laughed "You're good at that" I said catching my breath, once again feeling the blood rush to my cheeks "You're very honest ya know that" he said, rubbing my back now "Ya wanna know something though.... You're good at it too" He said looking down and quickly licking his lips and then looking back up at me "How do you do that?" I asked, he scrunched his brows confused "How do i do what?" I sighed "Get me from hating you to ... to... this! in less than a week" I exclaimed in a slight whisper "Its my super power" he chuckled "Now, c'mon... I better get you home" and before I could blink his hands were off my back and he was effortlessly hopping out of the pool. totally disregarding the stairs, he held his hand out to help me out the same way "I think, Im gonna use the stairs... ya know because ... thats why they are there" I said teasingly, he rolled his eyes "But where is the fun in that" he scoffed as he walked over to the stairs to meet me, and as soon as I reached the top he had me slung over his shoulder "Aaahh!!! Billy, I know that events today may prove other wise, but I do know how to walk on my own" I said in protest "Sure! but what if i let you down and all of a sudden a eagle comes down and swoops you away and i wont be able to stop him" I rolled my eyes at his comment "The likely hood of that happening, is about as good as me winning the lottery 3 times in 2 days" I said still hanging upside down on his shoulder "Well, maybe i just like holding you" and then ladies and gentleman .... butterflies happened... oh boy.

We had a good 5 minute ride back to my house, where he held my hand, in which I tried to protest just to mess with him but inevitably gave in... I like it. When we pulled up, just like before Billy quickly got out of the car and had my door open in second, helping me out and walking me to my door with our fingers interlocked, I started for my door until i felt a tug of Billy pulling me back to him, I knew he was strong, but just one tug i was flying back to him, he had to catch me, in which our faces were once again within millimeters from each other "We gotta stop meeting like this" He said teasingly with his famous smile "I gotta tell you something" I slipped out "I know how to swim and I wasn't really drowning, I pretended to get your attention" I said entirely too fast, he chuckled "I know" I paused at what he said "You know?" I asked confused "Ya know Y/N, You are a terrible liar..... First off no one drowns in the 4ft end of a pool unless your 3, and second we may not have talked too often in school... but that doesn't mean I didn't notice you, You're the captain of the swim team, which is why i brought it up earlier today, so of course you know how to swim... I offered the swim lessons as joke.. and then you came and asked and..... I couldn't be happier you did" He said still holding me, I smiled and did a little excited hop "You noticed me?" I said a little too eager, he chuckled and looked away and then looked back "Theres no one like you Y/L/N" he said right before taking my chin lightly with his fingers and bringing me in for gentle but passionate kiss goodnight.

#Billy Hargrove #Dacre Montgomery #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things fanfiction #fanfic #Stranger things fic #Marys Fanfic #Marys Fic #Stranger things #🥰

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dingyuxi · 4 years

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COMPREHENSIVE GIFFING TUTORIAL (vapoursynth + ps cc 2018) + some tips and tricks on color correction, blending and subtitles

You guys asked for it, so here we are! This is by no means the gold standard to giffing. Rather, this is simply my process and my own preferences. Take it as you will. Additionally since I use a mac some of my controls/panels may look different than what you would see for windows users.

DOWNLOADING YOUR SOURCE

This step is extremely important to the quality of your gifset. If you want high-quality gifs I would recommend giffing sources in 1080p whenever possible (especially if you’re going for larger dimensions). You may get away with 720p for smaller gifs. For kdramas, your go-to source would be dr*maday or torrents. (you can search my faq tag if you’d like to know specifics on finding and downloading torrents).

IMPORTING + PROCESSING YOUR FILES WITH VAPOURSYNTH (VS)

Please note that this tutorial does not cover basic installation and set-up of vs. If you would like to know how to download and set-up vapoursynth (it works for both mac and pc) along with some of it’s basics you can find more information at: https://hackmd.io/@nibreon/vapoursynth-book/%2F%40nibreon%2Fvapoursynth-book

Once you’ve identified what portion of your video you’d like to gif, simply drag your video file into VS. Specify the start time and duration of the clip you’d like to import. Typically you’ll be aiming for ~3-8 second clip depending on how big your gifs will be. I am very lazy when it comes to importing. The less of it I have to do, the better. Therefore, I often import clips that are 10-15 seconds long, sometimes even up to 20 seconds. I wouldn’t recommend going over 15 seconds most of the time though, because this will usually bring you over the 500 frames photoshop allows you to import at once. (when I do go over, I will sometimes import the processed VS file into PS in segments). You can also choose to import the VS output as segments if you want all your gifs on separate canvases. (I'll go into more detail on this later)

Once you’ve imported the clip into VS your screen should roughly look like this once the resizer pops up:

In the top left is where you will be applying your cropping, sharpening and denoising filters. Cropping: Keep in mind the Tumblr dimensions: 540px for full-width gifs and 268px for half size gifs, 177/178/177px for 3 gifs across. The height is completely up to your own preference. Usually I work in 540x300px. Once you edit those parameters you can drag/resize your video file to fit your new canvas. Sharpening + Denoising: You can choose to skip this if you would rather sharpen in ps. I personally do all my cropping, denoising and sharpening in vs. I use finesharp and KNML for sharpening and denoising respectively. Once you select those two filters from their drop down menus, be sure the select the checkbox as well. You should now notice 2 additional lines of code in the top right box. The line that reads: video = core.knlm.KNLMeansCL(video, 0, 6, 4, 1.2, channels="YUV") is where you will adjust your denoising parameters. You will only be adjusting those 4 numbers. I usually use: 0, 1, 0, 1.2. Now find the line that reads: video = hnw.FineSharp(video, sstr=0.22). These are your sharpening parameters. once again we’re only adjusting the number at the end. I typically use somewhere between 0.33-0.55. Depending on the quality of your source and preferences these parameters may change.

Here is a breakdown of the KNML parameters (source: @/nibreon HackMD):

Once you have finalized your parameters, copy all the code in that top right box and paste it into your vapoursynth editor. Note: you can ‘inactivate’ certain lines of code by adding the # symbol at the start the line. That line of code will then be greyed-out. This is what your code should now look like (the highlighted section is the part I just copy and pasted):

If you would like to preview your filters and see if you need to make any adjustments, simply navigate to the top bar and select script > preview. If you like what you see, great! If not, you can adjust the parameters directly in the editor until you see a result you’re happy with. Once you’re happy you can move onto the final step in vs: processing.

Processing: Once again, navigate to the top bar and select script > encode video. Another window should pop up. Make sure you set ‘header’ to ‘Y4M’ then click ‘start’. Patiently wait for that to finish processing. The longer your clip is and the more filters you add, the longer it will take.

IMPORTING YOUR CLIP INTO PHOTOSHOP (PS)

Now you’re done with the vapoursynth section! Not too hard, right? I use the timeline method when I gif. To import your video file into ps navigate to file > import > video frames to layers. Here you can use the sliders to further specify what range you would like to import. Make sure the ‘make frame animation’ box is checked. To optimize smoothness of your gif, avoid checking the ‘limit to every _ frames’ box. Hit ‘OK’ and wait for the frames to import. Depending on the size of your clip, ps may notify you that you are importing a large file and it may take a long time to process, simply say ‘ok’ to this. UNLESS you get a message saying it will limit to 500 frames. This means your clips contained more than 500 frames and you should select a smaller section to avoid cutting out any critical parts. (Note: you can always go back and repeat this process to select a smaller range of frames from the same video clip until you’ve imported all the frames you need).

Timing: You can adjust the timing of your gifs before converting to timeline. Select all the frames (Navigate to the icon with the 4 bars at the bottom right of you screen. Select “select all frames”). Click the drop down next to the timing of any of the frames. Select ‘other’ and input a your preferred timing. I personally use ‘0.04′ but I've seen people use anywhere from 0.4-0.8ms. Also as a note: when you convert your gif to timeline it has a tendency to mess up your timing so even if you input 0.04 or 0.05 it won’t actually be that timing later. If you want the true frame rate you can set your timing right before saving. You can also adjust timing at the end. (see export/saving gif section for more info)

Now the next part can be tedious and for that reason I’ve created numerous actions to speed up this process. But for the sake of this tutorial I will walk you through the steps. At the bottom of your screen is your timeline. As you can see, it defaults to frames, but we want to convert this into a smart object so that all your coloring/edits are made to all of the layers. To do this: 1) Navigate to the icon with the 4 bars at the bottom right of you screen. Select “select all frames” 2) Now select all your layers in your layer panel. On mac you can use cmd + option + A as a shortcut. 3) Back to the icon with the 4 bars, select “convert to video timeline” 4) Right click on all layers (which should still all be selected) and find “convert to smart object”

(Aside: Actions) actions are SUPER helpful to streamlining your giffing process. you can find actions people have made available on resource blogs like itsphotoshop OR you can choose to make your own custom actions. To do this, all you need to do is locate your action panel. Then from the controls at the bottom of the panel select the one that looks like a sheet of paper to “create a new action” Once you’ve named it and hit ‘ok’ the record icon should now be red. PS will now basically ‘record’ whatever you do. To stop recording hit the square icon. Now whenever you want ps to execute the same set of steps you just did, you can locate the action you just made and ‘play’ it by selecting the triangle icon. I highly recommend making an action for the steps I just outlined above to convert your gif into a smart object timeline. It will make your process much faster and more painless.

COLORING

Now the fun part! I focus on emphasizing the colors already present in the video source or getting rid of some less-than desirable overtones when I color. It gives the gif a natural look, but makes everything pop a little more. We will be working with selective color, curves, levels, and brightness/contrast mostly. This is the original gif I will be using to demonstrate coloring:

Curves: I always start with curves. The first curve layer I use to set a desirable black point. To do this, locate the top dropper icon from the curves panel and select the darkest point of your image. This will set that section to “true black” Feel free to play around with this until you find a desirable outcome. Now add another curves layer. This one we will be using to adjust the brightness/contrast. First, I always start off with ‘auto’ and see where that takes me. If you like the outcome, great! If you don’t play around with the different curve points until you get an outcome you like.

Selective Color: This adjustment layer will be your best friend. For me, I will typically work with reds, yellows, and black. If the source has a lot of blue/cyan I will use those too. Basically look at your source and determine which base colors you’d like to emphasize/alter. For blacks I usually up the black by +1-5 depending on the source. For reds, it also depends on the source. But I will typically either decrease cyan (to make red stand out more) or increase cyan (to make the red not look so overexposed). You want to be careful here. Overexposing the red can make your skin tones look like red tomatoes! And for my content base, where most of the actors are of asian descent, we should be emphasizing the yellows and NOT the reds (see aside on color correction + skin tones for more info). After altering the reds to my liking, I do the same process for the yellows. To bring back natural skin tones and color, you will likely want to darken the yellows, expose them a bit more and maybe even up the yellow slider. A common rule of thumb: if you want to make any of the colors less exposed, increase the cyan. If you want to increase exposure on any of the colors, decrease the cyan. If you want a color to appear more strongly or prominently, increase the black. The magentas and yellows I use more to adjust hues. You can add multiple selective color layers to further emphasize your changes.

Levels: Now we will work on the lighting some more. This creates more contrast and depth to your gif, often making them look ‘crisper’ To emphasize the bright parts, move the right-hand slider to the left. The emphasize the dark parts, move the left-hand slider to the right. You may also choose to move the middle slider to adjust more neutral lighting. Do so until you find a setting to your liking.

Miscellaneous: Depending on your gif you may need to play with other adjustment layers. Some other ones I often use are the brightness/contrast and exposure to adjust lighting and add more dimension to the gif. For additional color correction I use color balance and to a lesser extent hue/saturation and vibrance.

(Aside: Color correction + skin tones): We are anti-whitewashing and anti-redwashing when it comes to asian media. Like I mentioned earlier, natural asian skin tones have yellow undertones, not red/pink. Therefore when you’re bringing in color you should be mindful of this delicate balance. Adding more red does NOT equal un-whiteashing. Be VERY careful how you balance the yellows with selective color/hues/color balance.

^^ Here is an example of what I mean by overexposing the reds. Poor seungho is looking as sunburnt as a cherry tomato. Note: if your original source is already overexposed with red, fix it! You can do this by applying the same basic principles I explained earlier. Try upping the cyan on the reds in selective color, or shifting the color balance to favor cyan over red with the color balance adjustment layer. You may also choose to favor the yellow over blue.

^^ Now this is straight-up whitewashing. This is what happens when you are not careful with your correction of yellow. I’m not saying you can’t touch the yellow slider or get rid of some yellow form the overall image (because sometimes it is very much needed), but you should be very mindful how your corrections can affect skin tones. If you decide to decrease saturation of yellows, or decrease yellow in the selective color section of the reds, do so with caution. If your reds are looking too pink, add some yellow in the red selective color, up the yellow and black of the yellow selective color.

^^ If you hit that happy medium, you can emphasize the natural skin tones without overexposure. Here the underlying tones are very much still in the yellow range.

(Aside: Blending): I will very briefly talk about how to blend two gifs together. First make sure you’ve imported both your gifs into ps and converted them into the timeline format. On one of the gifs, right click the gif layer in the layer panel > duplicate layer > select the canvas of the gif you’d like to blend the gif with. On the canvas you just copied your second gif to, you can now drag the two layers around the on the canvas to get your desired positioning. On the top gif apply a layer mask. This can be found in your layers panel at the bottom, and is indicated by the white rectangle with the circle. Next, make sure you select the mask in the layer panel (it will show up as a white rectangle on the layer you applied the mask). Grab your paintbrush tool and make sure your color is set to black. Now you can effectively ‘erase’ the part of the top gif you don’t want to show anymore. I recommend setting your brush hardness to 0% to get a smoother transition. You can also play with the opacity settings. If you want to add back in a part you erased, just switch to a white paintbrush and you will be able to undo what you had just ‘erased’ with the black. When you merge the gifs, they will play the same number of frames. This means your blended gif length is limited by the gif with the fewer number of frames. You can move around your timeline layer and shorten the included portion by dragging either end of the timeline layer in until you get both gifs to play the parts you want.

CAPTIONS/SUBTITLES

I often get asked about my subtitle font/styling settings. Personally I find the best fonts for subtitles are calibri and arial. I use calibri with the following settings: 12-14px, bold italic plus faux bold, 1px black stroke (optional: drop shadow set to ‘multiply’ at around 85% opacity), and tracking (VA) set to 75. If you would like your subtitles to fade-in or fade-out you can apply the ‘fade effect’. Locate the b/w square icon in your timeline panel. Select fade and drag it onto your text layer in your timeline. You can then right click on the wedge shape to adjust your fade duration. I usually use 0.35s. If you drag and drop the effect towards the beginning of your text you can get the fade-in effect. To get the fade-out, simply drag and drop your fade towards the end of your text layer.

SAVING/EXPORTING YOUR GIF

We’ve reached the final stretch! If you need to adjust your frame rate timing: you will need to revert your timeline to frames. To do this: 1) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select convert frames > flatten frames into clips. 2) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select convert frames > convert to frame animation > when promoted hit ’ok’. If at this point you see more than one frame in your timeline panel, delete the frames until only one is left. In the example below I would delete the first frame by hitting the trash icon from the timeline panel.

If there is only one frame, leave it as is. 3) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select ‘make frames from layers’ You will most likely need to delete the first frame in your timeline panel (it won’t have your coloring). Sometimes ps adds in some ‘blank’ frames as well, delete those too. Now you can adjust your timing.

Once your timing is set: When you’re saving your gif, just keep in mind it must be under 10mb. Navigate to file > export > save for web. When it comes to your save settings I typically use either selective diffusion or adaptive diffusion. I also also occasionally use adaptive pattern (I find this is best for dark scenes without a lot of contrast). Set colors to 256, quality to bicubic and looping options to forever. If you want to preview your gif, hit the preview button in the bottom left. Otherwise, go ahead a hit ‘save’ and you’re DONE!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Feel free to check out my ‘ps things’ tag for more photoshop stuff/mini tutorials. Additionally @/nibreon and the hackmd site I linked previously are your best resources for vs questions. If you would like to see my giffing process in motion feel free to check out this video. It’s sped up but you can slow down the playback. Additionally be sure to check out resource blogs like itsphotoshop for more helpful tutorials and resources.

If you reached the end of this beast, kudos to you! I hope this helps and never be afraid to reach out with any questions.

#gif tutorial #itsphotoshop #resources #kdramaedit #ps things #m:tut

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ripleycano · 4 years

Photo

here’s a rant about the birthday boy :)

thank you @foxofthedeep for giving me a starting topic!

(It’s been a while since I’ve finished V3 + I’ve never done in-depth research into his character before today so please forgive any mistakes I might make! Also these rants will probably contain some of my opinions, none of which you are obligated to agree with, of course.)

Section 1: Shuichi

With Shuichi, I’ve noticed that there seem to be people who either adore him and consider him (subjectively) the best protagonist of the three main games or people who think he’s bland and uninteresting.

I think the reason for this is Shuichi being representative of a very specific personality that some identify with, while others might reduce him to just being shy.

The wiki explains that Shuichi’s parents were a famous actor and screenwriter who were constantly on business trips, leaving Shuichi with his uncle + his wife.

As seen in his dynamic with Kaede and the relatives who took him in, Shuichi seems to feel like he owes something to people who display care or affection towards him as a result of the neglect in his upbringing.

The way Shuichi explains stories and traits about himself heavily implies that low self confidence and the tendency to feel obligated to express his gratitude is in his nature; this, of course, led to him helping out his uncle and eventually gaining the title of Ultimate Detective.

Shuichi never held himself in high regard, which only worsened through the very case that ended up giving him his title. The moral conflict between arresting a murderer being the right choice and considering their motive for doing so ended up scarring both his confidence as a detective and belief in his choices; this state is how we first see him at the start of Danganronpa V3.

Here are a few central characters and how they led to Shuichi’s development throughout the game:

Kaede - Speaking in terms of tropes, Kaede was the optimistic, textbook protagonist. Shuichi was quick to warm up to her, and I imagine he admired her confident leadership despite what might lie in the path ahead of the class.

Her blackened case is a parallel to Shuichi’s ‘Ultimate Detective’ case; Shuichi was made aware of her (ultimately justified) motive for killing, yet he was the one to expose her. However, Kaede made a difference that would completely change things for Shuichi. While the last murderer who confronted him was filled with bitter anger and malice towards him, Kaede reassured him that he had made the right choice- even going as far as to entrust the future of everyone else to him. What Kaede told him moments before her death were, in a way, what properly assigned him the role of the protagonist and some trust in himself.

Kaito - If Kaede triggered Shuichi’s trust in himself, Kaito was the one who made him aware that getting through life can be a team effort. Personally, I like Kaito- but I completely understand where people are coming from when they find his blind faith in the people he takes a liking to irritating.

Thanks to Kaito’s comically exaggerated trusting hero archetype, however, Shuichi starts to depend on others to participate and fend for themselves in trials (instead of overthinking everything by himself) and get some relief from the Protagonist Pressure™ through Kaito’s “sidekick” persona.

Kokichi - Oh boy. Funnily enough, a lot of lessons to be learned from Kokichi’s character seems to go against what Shuichi gathers from Kaede. Kaede urges him to push for the truth as a detective, while Kokichi insists that lies are of value. These contrasts can also be seen in scenes like the first Death Road Of Despair; Kaede is an idealistic optimist but Kokichi’s talent (despite the oddly phrased name) renders him a better leader in the end. (I think I’ll talk about Kokichi’s talent in a separate post specifically for him at some point!)

Luckily, Shuichi pieces the two together and comes to the conclusion that truth and lies are not polar opposites- they’re often dependent on each other. In my humble opinion, I think what many people found appealing and relatable in Shuichi’s character was watching him grow into a protagonist rather than starting out as one. (Makoto started out with an optimistic and resilient personality, Hajime had some authority among his classmates)

In conclusion: Not only are Shuichi and the player put into a situation where they have to grow together as the game progresses, but (in general) he also has a subtle and likable personality that isn’t too ‘in-your-face’.

If you’re someone who deeply identifies with his character, you most likely found comfort in seeing someone who went from being plagued by doubt, self-deprecation, and loneliness mistaken for independence to a person who learns about love with no strings attached through their found family.

Bonus: The ideal dynamic of Saiouma? Saiouma is... interesting, because it’s a comfort pairing for many but also the scum of the earth to a large part of the fanbase. As with any other pairing in fiction, this is a result of difference in interpreting their interactions.

If you’re asking for my personal thoughts on it, I really enjoy Saiouma! The closest representation of their ideal dynamic would be Kokichi’s FTE’s, since it’s the clearest instance where Shuichi plays the curious detective to Kokichi’s complex and secretive supreme leader facade.

Shuichi tries to understand Kokichi more than anybody else would even attempt to, and I suppose it’s implied that Kokichi found it both amusing and touching (?) judging from the ‘trustworthy’ label next to Shuichi’s photo.

From all this, I guess their ideal dynamic is Shuichi being understanding of Kokichi’s flaws and encouraging him to stop isolating himself + Kokichi having someone to (1) have fun with obviously 🙄 and (2) confide his bottled up issues and trust into.

Man V3′s entire theme is trust huh

(Plus, if we see it as Shuichi representing truth achieved through some lies and Kokichi representing lies that hold some truth, Saiouma is a direct parallel to the game’s big concept of truth and lies! Neat huh)

Anyways. This is terrible and has no clear structure but it’s 1AM so I’m cutting it short. I hope you found it somewhat entertaining!

Please lmk if there are any other characters or things in DR you’d want me to write about :)

#sorry that i only intended to talk for two paragraphs and ended up going off guys #not all of us have the privilege of not being born a nagito kinnie #danganronpa #shuichi saihara #drv3 #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #saiouma #kaede akamatsu #kaito momota #analysis #requested rant

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renee-5419074 · 2 years

Text

Week 1 Studio Tutorial

Part 1

So for this week, the tutorial was more so an introduction to the different tools and techniques that we would be using. This allowed me to familiarize myself with the different ways we will be using these tools in industrial design, and also helped with developing my techniques as well.

For figure 1, I first used a compass to draw the circle, and then used the angle ruler to draw my first triangle, followed by the second upside down triangle. Initially I found it a bit hard to ensure the 8mm outline, but eventually used a ruler and drew 3 dashes along the original lines that measured 8mm and drew a line connected through them.

While drawing the 8mm thick border for the triangles, I had made a few faulty errors in how thick it was as some borders were 7.5mm instead of 8mm. To improve on for next time, I will move the paper more closer to the edge of the table to ensure the Tee square ruler does not move around as much, and instead of measuring from the right beginning of the ruler, start at around 1cm in, just to be more accurate.

For figure 2, we had to draw a button essentially, that contained 5 circular shapes inside one large circle.

I started off by drawing 4 circles, and then from the center, 4, 45 degree angles in each quad. Using the circle ruler I drew the curved line needed depending on the radius, and then finished by outlining it with pen.

I think to improve on this for next time, I often put too much force on the compass, and made it move around, so the circles often didn't connect, which can be seen in the photos below, as I had to retrace often. I think I also pushed down too hard, making it harder to erase any errors made previously on the paper. During the outlining process, I didn't realize an end point and went over instead of stopping, and the overall outline was a bit wobbly, and could have been traced better.

Part 2

For part 2, we had to make a tessellating pattern, and to do this by drawing four the of the given shape required.

I started off by drawing four quadrants on the sheet, to ensure that each shape would have enough space. I then drew three lines, 2x60mm and 1x90mm and started drawing lines to created the first few triangles. Once finished drawing all the triangles I traced the shape with pen, and repeated this three more times. Eventually, using a cutting knife and board, I cut out the shapes and placed them together to create the final shape.

I think there are many areas in which I could improve on this section for the tutorial. For starters, in the image all lengths were the same, but in my shape, I did not counter into fact that the slants on the side were longer than the vertical lines, as I measured it incorrectly, leading to wrong measurements.

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yutahoes · 4 years

Text

Sakura

(Part Six)

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six

genre : Chaptered, Fluff, Dramatic

pairing : childhood friends: soccer player! Nakamoto Yuta x single mom! Y/N

word count : 2.8k words

You’ll always be his Sakura.

@ailoveyuta @loona-4-eva @aiforyuu @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @url-lindo-sexy @nuoyipeach @aaasteroidsky @thisis-myname @yutazen01

“Dude, are you out of your mind? You’re going to transfer to the Korean team?” Yuta rolled his eyes. How many times does he have to tell Mark about this? Korea is doing well in soccer, maybe he can transfer to the team since he started playing soccer here. “You’re promising. Even the coach says so.”

Yuta sighed then leaned on the counter. “It’s only for three years, Mark. After that, I’ll transfer to the Japan team or go back to Spain.” He explained before thanking the pharmacist for the medicine.

“I totally underestimated you, hyung.” Mark claimed. “I didn’t know you were the type to do these for a girl.”

“You’ll understand it when you fall in love.” Yuta smiled then stopped when he spotted the younger girl seated on the bench outside her mom’s room and she was looking at him. "I'll talk to you later, Mark." He hung up the phone then sat beside her. "Why are you outside? It's pretty chilly."

"Jae is noisy." She said in a soft voice before turning her book to the next page. Yuta checked on the title of the book she's reading, The ABC Murders by Agatha Christie. A young child reading a suspense thriller book. Cherry is indeed something. "Ahjusshi…" she called without leaving her gaze on the book. "When did you know that you love my mom?"

He sat next to her, placing the bag of medicine beside him. "I heard what you said on the phone, that you're in love. How do you know that you're in love with someone?" Is this some boy trouble? But isn't she too young to be thinking about this? And, is he the right person to tell her these things? "Do you really love my mom?" Then it might not be some personal problem.

Yuta sighed then bent forward so that his elbows were on his lap. "I don't know when it started. Taeyong might be right that I do love her even before she left for Chicago."

"When did you know that you are in love with her?"

He smiled. "You know your mom had that twinkle in her eyes when she's so happy about something. I like that twinkle." Yuta grinned as if remembering a memory. Y/N holding a snow globe while smiling. The white snow falling on her as the lights of Osaka illuminate her. "I wanted to protect that happiness for the rest of my life."

"If you really love her, why did you let her meet my dad?"

That question. She already asked it back in the aquarium and he was honestly surprised. He doesn't know what to answer to that back then but now he knew. "I was a coward." That answer obviously surprised Cherry. "I was scared that I can't keep that smile." He grinned then ruffled her hair that made her whine. "I hope, now, we can keep your mom's smile." She only nodded.

"You're a great listener, Cherry."

The younger sighed. "That's all I ever do, listen."

Yuta smiled. "Then if you ever needed someone to talk to, I'll be here." He gestured to the book. "Can you tell me this story when you're done?" The older guy smiled widely when she nodded. Yuta removed the jacket he's wearing and wrapped it around her. "You should come inside when it gets too cold. Your mom will worry if you get sick."

Cherry nodded that made him stand up, heading to Y/N's room. But before he could enter the door, the younger girl held his wrist. "Thank you…" she said quietly. "Samchon." Yuta smiled. She’s such a tsundere.

----

It was an everyday scenario for the past school week that Yuta would fetch the kids after school then head to the restaurant where Y/N is working to eat lunch. Sometimes, he would teach Jae soccer while Cherry waits for them, reading her book quietly.

It was Friday when they went to the same restaurant, greeting Y/N and some waitresses that they had grown accustomed to. The three sat at their usual table by the corner of the restaurant, Jae and Cherry next to each other while Yuta sat opposite the two.

The youngest giggled when his mom came to their table handing them the menu that they have seen countless times already. “Have you eaten?” Yuta asked that made Y/N nod. “Your medicine?” Again, she nodded with a smile. “I’ll have the vongole pasta.”

“Chicken!” Jae said in a cheerful tone while handing his mom the menu. Yuta even teased him by saying that he’ll grow a wing next time he eats chicken. “Noona, are you going to have the chicken as well?”

Cherry shook her head then closed the menu. “I’ll have the jumbo shrimps.”

Y/N stared at her, taking the menu from her. “You don’t know how to peel shrimps. Do you want me to peel it for you?” But Cherry shook her head. The older pursed her lips and went to the kitchen to get their orders that made Yuta shake his head.

He asked if they have homework but Jae shook his head saying that it's Friday. "But I have a project to do. Can you help me, samchon?" Yuta nodded then he looked at Cherry who was just playing with the napkins on the table.

When their orders came, the youngest guy was too excited to have chicken and Yuta watched as he took a drumstick and started munching on it. Cherry was just looking on the plate of six jumbo shrimps. "Do you need help, Cherry?" He asked and she nodded. He smiled before showing her how to peel the skin of the shrimp using a spoon and fork.

"That's so cool, samchon!" Jae said wide-eyed. "Do you always do that?"

He nodded. "Your mom loves shrimps but she doesn't know how to peel it off so I learned this." Cherry just stared at him. "Try it out, Cherry."

She tried peeling the next jumbo shrimp but accidentally cut it in half that made her annoyed. "It's fine. You're doing well." Yuta complimented. He watched as she focused on the next shrimp, tongue darting out that reminded him so much of Y/N. She usually does it when she's drawing.

The surprised expression was easily seen on her face when she flawlessly skinned one shrimp. "You're good at this, noona." Jae said while munching on his chicken.

Cherry skinned the remaining three, breaking one in half. Yuta was surprised when she put a shrimp on her brother's plate then two shrimps on his plate, leaving the cut shrimps on her plate. Jae complained that he wanted another shrimp and Yuta gave him the other one from his plate. The younger girl put another shrimp on his plate then ate the half from her plate. She's really charming.

Yuta put some of the pasta on one of the small plates and handed it to Cherry to eat. He even scooped some on his fork the feed Jae who exclaimed that he'll order it next time.

After eating, he brought the two of them to a large library that he only searched on the internet. Jae's eyes were twinkling since there's a part in the library where you can play with other kids, as well as read children's books. "We'll do your project, hmm? I will just buy some drinks." Yuta told the younger guy who only nodded. "Cherry, can you come with me?"

She nodded, following him. They exited the children's section then passed the Vendo machines before heading to one room. "The library boasts a bookshelf dedicated to Agatha Christie," Yuta explained then pointed at one shelf. "You finished your book, right? I'll keep Jae company so you can read more." He ruffled her hair but she didn't react. "Read as many as you can. I'll bring you snacks later." She nodded that made him smile.

Yuta just let Cherry on her own while he helped Jae with his drawing. “You know your mom is really good at drawing.” He said absent-mindedly while drawing a small Spiderman on the bottom of the page. Jae looked surprised at the revelation even explaining that he never once saw his mom draw something.

Did she stop drawing illustrations? But she’s studying arts in college. Did she stop? Come to think of it, she stopped saying things about her college life after the fifty-fifth letter. It’s all about Chicago. Did she drop out of college just to be a mom? Maybe she’s taking this dream too hard.

He promised to bring them home before five since Y/N is getting home at four but it's already past six when Yuta realized the time. He had been enjoying his time with Jae, playing and even reading him some books. The younger was the one who told him to go home since he's sleepy.

But he changed when he saw his noona crying. Jae's eyes were wide as he watched the older guy hugging the sobbing girl. "It's already late. Your mom will get worried, Cherry." But she kept crying in his arms, claiming that she doesn't want to go home yet, which made Yuta sigh. She might have enjoyed being here too much. "When I get back from Spain, we'll return here and read all the books here, hmm?" He assured the young girl who was breathing heavily, staring at him with her teary eyes.

When they arrived at her place, Y/N was surprised to see Cherry sleeping on Yuta's shoulder. She pointed to her daughter's room as Jae announced that Cherry cried non-stop in the cab. "That was the first time I saw noona cry, eomma." Yuta smiled hearing those words. Where did she get this tsundere attitude? "Maybe she really liked Yuta samchon." Jae claimed. Does she?

He was supposed to go home when she invited him for dinner. Jae said that he's too sleepy to eat and that he'll just wash up when he wakes up in the morning. Yuta was just chuckling at that when the younger asked to be tucked in by his favorite soccer player. The older nodded, carrying him to his room. "I'm going to miss you, samchon. You promise to call me and tell me about your practices."

He chuckled at that. "Of course, bud. You are my lucky charm." Jae giggled at that. "But you have to promise to eat more and go to school so you can cheer on me better." He nodded. "Take care of eomma and noona while I'm gone, okay?" He lightly rubbed the younger's stomach that made Jae smile then yawned. "Go to sleep, Jae."

Before he could leave the room, Jae wrapped his small arms around Yuta's neck. "Thank you for today, Appa." He said in a sleepy voice before Yuta felt the weight of his head on his shoulder. The older lightly placed him in bed, smiling to himself. Is it possible to feel butterflies in your stomach with just a simple word? Why does he want to keep hearing that word?

Yuta was grinning widely when he left Jae’s room and Y/N was just looking at him weirdly that made him laugh. “Is he asleep?” He nodded, sitting on the chair opposite hers. “Are you going to eat?”

“Yeah. You never cooked for me before. This is my chance.” She giggled at that saying that she made him rice cakes in Osaka before. “That doesn’t count, obaasan helped you.” He thanked her for the food and tried the stew she made, smiling. “It’s pretty decent.”

She revolted with a laugh. “You do know that I hate cooking but I have to learn or the three of us will die.”

“Yeah, you changed so much,” he muttered absent-mindedly. “But in a good way. You’re more responsible now, it’s amazing.” She ate a spoonful of rice, taking time in chewing that simple meal. “You’re doing a great job as a mom. Those two are really charming in their own ways.”

Y/N smiled at that. “They should have met you sooner. Maybe Jae wouldn’t cry over petty reasons and Cherry would learn to smile more. You’re going to be a great dad someday, Yuta.”

A great dad. He wouldn’t even know that he would feel proud at that simple phrase if not for her and her children. Appa. He wanted to be called that word repeatedly. He wanted to spend time with his kids, reading books and playing soccer. He wanted to tuck them to bed at night and wake up with their smiling face. He wanted to eat breakfast with them, bond with them at lunch, and ask for their help in cooking dinner. He wanted to drive them to school and pick them up while sharing stories of what they did the whole day.

He wanted to spend time with his lucky charm and let him cry over petty reasons. He wanted to show the tsundere all the care he can give and let her slowly smile for him. He wanted to do this. For Jae and Cherry. For Y/N.

"I think I just changed my dream." He started that made her look at him curiously, finishing her food. "I want to be a dad." Yuta put down his spoon then stared at her. "I want to be Jae and Cherry's dad."

Her expression varied from surprised to confusion then to worry in a matter of seconds that he wanted to take back what he said. But then, he promised himself that he'll be brave and do this without any regrets. "Honestly, I feel like everyone already knows my feelings." He laughed to shake away the nervousness he's feeling. "Even Cherry knows about it."

"I'm in love with you." He confessed that made her stop. "I guess I have been since middle school, I just refuse to believe it. When you went to Osaka, that's when I'm sure that I truly am in love with you."

"Osaka? That long?" She asked quietly and he nodded. "So you knew when you went to Chicago?"

Yuta laughed at the memory. "I do want to punch Johnny's face but he's so nice. And you seem really happy while looking at him." He smiled bitterly. "I figured I should let you go since you're happier with him so I asked my parents if I could go to Spain to train soccer. To forget about you at least."

He held her hand that was on top of the table. "I never thought I would meet you again at Taeyong's wedding. Then this." He gestured to the two rooms where her children are at. "I want this, Y/N. This is what I wanted to be, a dad."

Y/N slipped her hand away from him, "Don't, Yuta." She whispered and his face fell. He never thought about this rejection. "You have to date a single girl and have kids of your own, not like this."

"How can I do that when all I can see is you?" Yuta shook his head. This is a hopeless conversation but he doesn't want to give up. “You said I'll be a great dad. Why can't I be your children's dad?"

"Because Johnny is their dad."

Yuta sighed. "I'm not planning to replace Johnny in their life. I just wanted to take care of them and give them my love." He explained. "Y/N, I love both Jae and Cherry, that's why I'm doing this. I honestly don't think I can ever love someone the way I love the three of you." He stood up. "Thank you for the meal. I'll clean the dishes."

"Yuta…" she called, following him to the kitchen with her empty plate.

He smiled at her, taking her plate then putting it on the sink. "Let's talk about this when I go back from Spain. Think about it and I'll ponder about it as well." Y/N sighed. "If you don't want to, I won't force you. Just remember that I'm here for the two of them, for you."

Yuta sighed while cleaning the plates. He doesn't need to think about this. He knew he wanted this. All he had to think about is when she says no to everything.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Seven

#yuta nakamoto #yuta #yuta nakamoto fluff #yuta fluff #yuta chaptered au #nakamoto yuta #nakamoto yuta fluff

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bikerjongho · 3 years

Text

the library of wonder | ateez ot8

genre: historical fiction, horror, adventure, fantasy

characters: warrior!ateez ot8

description: Religious radicals in the Joseon Dynasty, the self-proclaimed Anti-Rhythm Riders cult does everything in their power to destroy anything and anyone that violates their sacred Code of Conduct.

word count: 5.8k

warnings: violence, murder, maiming, ableism, graphic description of a dead body, radical religion, blood

author’s note: what happens when you combine the library of alexandria with ateez? this fic. this is the third addition to the ateez music video series whose masterlist (which lists the rest of them) is here. Also to note that this is part 1 of a series that I will continue later. The subsequent parts will be connected to different music videos.

taglist: @itsapapisongo @mangomingki @irehlevant @blueprint-han @doievoir @bvlnoriyas

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Weapons were a way to show the power of a king. Mounted and gleaming, the spears of King Yoongi of the Joseon Dynasty stood on either side of his elegant and golden throne like guards at the ready. On the walls that surrounded the throne from the left and right were an impressive display of bows and an array of fine arrows to accompany them. On the floor, King Yoongi's head lolled, blood pouring out of its severed end as Hongjoong sheathed the King's sword that was on his wall only moments before.

Beside the King's head and body on the floor, his recently deceased personal guard lay with him. This was thanks to Hongjoong's two best short-distance fighters, Mingi and Seonghwa. The two of them eyed the royally red blood that gushed out of the King's severed neck as they sheathed their swords. The three of them wore nothing more than simple blue hanboks and had their long hair tied up in a topknot at the top of their head, traditional for common men of this age. But with the corpse of the most important man in the Dynasty at their feet and the smell of civil unrest in the air, the plain clothing and ordinary hair was far from an appropriate look for these men in this moment.

The King's sword was now sheathed at Hongjoong's side, but he was not yet finished with the king. Bending down to the severed head, Hongjoong ripped out all of the intricate pins and ties that the King's servants had put in his hair that morning. The King's luscious black hair spilled out at his feet, mixing with his blood and turning it burgundy. Hair was a symbol of status and power. Now that the King was dead, Hongjoong assumed he no longer needed his power. He extracted a dagger from a pocket of his hanbok and began cutting at where the King's scalp ended.

The hair obliged with the blade. Soon, the King's heap of hair rested in Hongjoong's hands, and he promptly tied it to keep the strands together. "Proof," Hongjoong whispered and shoved the hair into his hanbok. "Proof that the wretched King Yoongi is dead."

"May he rot in many Hells," Seonghwa murmured and bowed his head. Mingi followed suit, and then Hongjoong last. There was a method to their madness. They, along with a few other men, were leaders of an ancient group called the Anti-Rhythm Riders. They did no harm as long as no one provoked them. Their laws, while more modest and tight than most groups, religions, or cults, were mostly fair. But the Anti-Rhythm Riders were a bloodthirsty and arrogant group of people that took pride in their faith and murdered anyone that refused to also follow.

"You must understand," Hongjoong had said calmly to a screaming woman only weeks earlier. Despite his attempts to convert her, she wouldn't budge, leaving Hongjoong with only one choice. His eyes had darkened to a lifeless grey as he had stuck his hand into her abdomen and twisted her gut. "This is a death far more merciful than if The Chariot returned while you were still alive and not following Him," he had said, digging his nails into her body while she screamed. "Feel blessed that I have chosen to kill you and spare you of his wrath that is worse than this by tenfold."

The dead King at Hongjoong's feet was one of many who had been adamantly against the Anti-Rhythm Riders. But besides their penchant for murdering those that were not like them, their strict code of honor shaped them into contributing and positive members of society. Their code of laws requested that each member of the group brought forth the best version of themselves at all times. This included dressing appropriately and being able-bodied, so all Riders were in peak health and dressed like they respected themselves. But on the same side of the coin, it was imperative to closely follow the code of honor as a Rider, lest they be murdered in the same way a non-believer would. The Riders, no matter how devoted they were to their cause, could not step out of line.

Top physical health included never becoming blind, deaf, mute, or immobile, except in the cases of old age or a sickness, but even then, those members were socially separated from the rest of the Riders. Old believers and ill people dressed from head to toe in black clothing in order to not bring attention to themselves and their misfortune of owning a frail and weak body.

But King Yoongi had not perished because of his non-belief. Despite his non-belief, most Riders saw merit in a hierarchal leader. They had, with their teeth grit, kept him alive. What had caused his downfall was not a snap decision by a lone Rider. It was caused by The Library of Wonder.

"A man that has lost his way chooses to walk the path to eternal hell," Mingi quoted a founder as he kicked Yoongi's body as he walked by towards the exit of the throne room. Hongjoong gripped the hair in his pockets, then followed Mingi. Seonghwa followed last, shutting the doors to the throne room with a smile on his face.

When they walked outside, they were met with thunderous cries and applause. The rest of Hongjoong's elite and higher-up group stood waiting in the front of it all. Yunho, man with a spear and a smile that was a bit too comforting and cozy; Yeosang, a solemn man with a sword strapped to his side that was anything but that; San, producing an ugly and terrifying grin on his face as Hongjoong removed the King's ponytail from his pockets; Jongho, with his sharp eyes and sharper reflexes, infamous bow and arrows strapped to his chest and back, and Wooyoung, who thrusted his permanently bandaged and bloodied fists into the air and let out a cry of victory that seared across the mass of Riders and raised the temperature of their spirits.

"The King is dead, Riders," Hongjoong bellowed above the roaring crowd. "And now, we ride to the Library of Wonder." He was met with shouts of disapproval for the Library, and Hongjoong's lip curled upward. There was a section for arts and music in The Rider's code. It was allowed, but certain teachings of it, such as allowing it to manipulate emotions, was forbidden.

"There is a disease in the heart of man," The Riders heard all too frequently in their sermons and speeches. "The disease is human emotion."

The Library of Wonder promoted this diseased music. For years they had tried to defund the Library, encourage the King to focus his spending elsewhere, to change the Library so it did not promote these blasphemous ideas, and none had been successful.

"We can't have a King that has allowed such a violation of our code for this long," Hongjoong had said only a month before the assassination, neck deep in plans for the kill. His face had darkened against the flickering fire that was nearby, casting inhuman shadows across his features. The Anti-Rhythm Riders were not a majority in the Joseon Dynasty, and their following was hardly recognized as a religion at all, let alone the Dynasty's main religion - but they were a potent and loud minority.

And over the course of a year, Hongjoong had been collecting and persuading commoners with his silver tongue to join The Riders for the purpose of having an army. An army that would not only be large, but also be relentless and unstoppable. And as Hongjoong stood in front of these thousands of people fueled with anger for The Library, he believed his work to collect them all had been a success. San took over with controlling the crowd, his loud voice carrying over all of the chatter and yelling. He dictated to certain groups in the crowd to certain tasks, such as loading wood onto the backs of their traveling cows or oiling up weapons and lighters. Fire, Hongjoong had decided, would be the ideal move to destroy the library. It would burn all of the texts that he and so many others hated with no hope of replicating them.

Amidst the screams, Yunho saddled up next to Hongjoong. One of Hongjoong's most efficient and silent warriors in the team, he was an asset that had carried them far. He couldn't stop smiling. Hongjoong knew that this day was huge for him - huge for all of them. Killing the King had been a goal point of their plan. Now all that was left was to destroy The Library of Wonder.

"Do you have any hangwa?" He asked, and Hongjoong was mildly bemused at how casual he was. He had just seen him slice the arm off of a palace soldier only fifteen minutes prior.

"I do," Hongjoong answered anyway, shuffling around in his bag before pulling out a packet of hangwa, assorted Korean cookies. He pushed it towards him, and Yunho happily dug in. "Time to rally the troops," he said, starting up a conversation.

"Well, it's easy to do that when persuasion rolls off of the tongue like leaves blow in the wind," Yunho said, mouth full of cookie. Yunho was referring to The Riders' way of persuasion and how it borderlined with magical coercing. In many ways, it was magical. Hongjoong theorized it had to do with how devoted and powerful many of The Riders were. It was The Chariot's doing that allowed his followers the ability of masterful persuasion.

It was also the reason why they had amassed so many people for their invasion so quickly. Many of them had knocked on doors and preached in the streets. As long as someone could hear them, people joined their cause.

The Riders left immediately after their supplies and weapons were loaded into traveling bags and onto the backs of animals. Hours after they had left on their journey to the Library, Jongho was ready to rally the troops for a special tradition. Having just climbed onto a travelling horse, he was raised above the crowd. His long and dark hair flickered around his face as he assessed the mass of walking Riders. The time must have felt correct to him, for he then raised his arms over the crowd, a move he had done many times.

This move caught the attention of many Riders, but his projecting and powerful voice was what roped in the rest. Jongho sang a mid-range note that silenced what little noise was left from the crowd. The Riders stopped what they were doing in order to match his note. Hongjoong and Yunho followed suit out of habit. The earth rumbled with the thousands of voices of the Riders.

There was an air to the main vocalist now that all of the attention was on him. Something lurked in the darker hues of his eyes, something that looked like power, and it showed itself through how he now moved and sang. His voice, still louder than the crowd's, rose up a note. The dissonance of the pitches only lasted for a moment before the crowd went down a note, creating a harmony. Jongho closed the fingers on his left hand into a fist and the women of the Riders adjusted their note. A minor harmony emerged from the chord.

None of the voices were completely perfect, except for maybe Jongho's. But all voices bowed at the command of Jongho's hands that were, in a way, conducting an old vocal ritual created by and for their religion. The choir was used to grab the attention of all Riders, but it was used equally as a morale booster. Hongjoong glanced at Yeosang, his sword gleaming with menace at his side, and raised his eyebrows.

Yeosang caught his eyes and sifted through the crowd to him. "Why is Jongho doing the Chariot Chant?" He hissed under the singing as the swordsman came close to him. He had seen Jongho and Yeosang together only a quarter of an hour prior. And while the choir was mainly for enjoyment, it was sometimes used as a distraction from something that the higher-up Riders didn't want the rest of their group to know about. Hongjoong feared something had come up despite his meticulous planning, and he assumed that Yeosang knew about the problem if there was one. "We didn't plan one. What is he diverting?"

Yeosang, in charge of the artillery, looked at Jongho on the horse. "Some of our artillery is failing," he said, his eyes the color of stone. "Some of our men and women notified me of a few issues our cannons are having. I inspected them myself and have found that they are correct. I assume this was the throne's last stand against us." His frown deepened. "I theorize our original plan for the Library can't be used now."

A smile appeared on Hongjoong's lips, mirroring Yeosang's disapproving frown. The original plan was to partially blow up the library before burning it, suggested by Yeosang, but Hongjoong had been against it. He wanted the library to be aflame as soon and for as long as possible, but he had been outnumbered by most of his group. Hongjoong's method would endanger more Rider's lives at the expense of his selfish love for fire. Unprecedented death of Riders was certainly a reason for Jongho to begin a distracting chant. He wouldn't have started it if he had thought Hongjoong's plan would go to fruition.

"So we go with my plan," Hongjoong smirked at the artillery leader. Yeosang pursed his lips and, for a moment, said nothing.

"I will think about our other options," Yeosang murmured. "Ones that will, perhaps, be less taxing on us. Don't think for a second that Jongho's calling to action means your plan will now be enacted," he said with a hint of irritation. He said no more, sweeping himself back into the crowds towards the animals helping carry the artillery, leaving Hongjoong with his thoughts and a smile still plastered to his face.

Hongjoong was the unofficial leader of the Riders, but he still wanted to deal with decisions diplomatically. So, after an hour of caroling with Jongho, Hongjoong rounded up the seven of them to talk about their plan of attack on the library.

They formed a line as they walked and saddled beside the cattle and horses that carried the artillery. Seonghwa and Wooyoung gravitated towards Hongjoong in the line. The two of them had been the members to agree with Hongjoong's less rational plan of setting fire to the library immediately upon arrival, but they had ultimately been overruled by the other five that had agreed to Yeosang's safer plan.

"So, fire immediately?" Wooyoung asked everyone once Hongjoong explained to them their situation, but his eyes were locked onto Hongjoong. Yeosang raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Not quite," Hongjoong said evenly, turning his attention to Yeosang, who now had his arms crossed. "Let's see what our artillery man has to say."

"If the First Army successfully purged the library of people," Yeosang said, referring to a subset of the Riders that had left for the library a day earlier, "then we should have a clean and easy shot to do whatever we want to the library. Word won't spread that we invaded it until it's already a pile of rubble." Some of them bowed their heads in appreciation for that statement.

"That being said," Yeosang continued, "we have about half the amount of cannons I'd like to have. We still have swords, but that won't do much against the hard material of the building." He grabbed the hilt of his sword at his side instinctively. "We still have torches and the building is flammable."

"And bow and arrows," Yunho cut in, lifting up Jongho's bow from his back. Jongho glared at him.

"Arrows that can carry flame," Yeosang sighed, and Seonghwa's lip curled up. "I truly have exhausted my thoughts and exhausted them some more. Many weapons from home could have been used for a different attack, but we're too far to turn back now." They were all experienced enough fighters to realize where Yeosang was going.

"Fire," Hongjoong smiled, and Yeosang looked weary.

"Fire," he sighed in agreement.

Wooyoung and Seonghwa exploded into hisses of victory. Wooyoung punched his fist into the air. "Hell yes," he said, shaking his bandaged wrist in front of him.

"Should we tell them?" Yeosang asked, gesturing to the entire herd of Riders that were traveling with them as a few of the members dispersed from the group. Yeosang meant the increased danger that came with their sudden change of plans. Hongjoong adjusted the bag on his back and grinned.

"They know what they're getting into," Hongjoong smiled. "But even if they don't, they'll do it anyway. They love The Chariot too much to refuse to do something." Hongjoong flicked a cocky smile at Yeosang, who could only sigh and nod. While it was not his favorite plan, it was a plan that still accomplished the destruction of the library, which was a goal all of them wanted to achieve regardless of the means.

And while Riders didn't like injuring other Riders, self-preservation overtook any feelings they had for their lower Rider acquaintances. If Yeosang could remain without burn scars and seared lungs while someone else did, then it was simply a means to an end. The library was destined to go down by the careful hands of the Riders, one way or another.

It took another day for the riders to reach The Library of Wonder, and when they did, it was a wonder to behold. Sculpted with stone and wood, it was an incredible feat of architecture in the Joseon Dynasty. Great stone columns supported the front of the building, and a stone statue of a beautiful woman with long hair and a scroll in her hands greeted library goers at the entrance.

Wooyoung yanked out a club from the pockets of his blue hanbok and swung at the lady without warning. He took off part of her chest and her entire left arm and was met with roars of approval and laughter. "At the ready!" Hongjoong yelled over the laughing crowds, and Riders began fishing their weapons out of their pockets. These weapons were mostly bows and arrows, but like Wooyoung, a few clubs were seen. Jongho was among those with bow and arrows, slinging his trusty bow from around his shoulder to the front of his body.

But bow and arrows weren't the correct term for the weapon Jongho and many of the other Riders had. His bow and arrows were of a narrower Korean variety called the singijeon. The singijeon worked much like traditional bow and arrows, but gunpowder was held in the arrows.

He now had his bow cocked and ready and his hands clutched a wooden arrow with a ball of gunpowder nestled close to the tip of the arrow. Jongho pulled back with his left hand and released the arrow. The Riders watched as it soared through the heat of the sun and made contact with the middle of the entry wall of the Library. As soon as the arrow hit the wall, the gunpowder activated and blew a hole in it.

Many more singijeon became useful and created more holes in the Library and smoke in the air. It was almost too easy to destroy the Library. It crumbled more and more with each hit like it was destiny for the great building to fall. Soon enough, the wall was completely gone and the Riders rejoiced in their work.

Mingi appeared at the front of the crowd, a tall presence marked even more visible by the torch of fire he held in his hands. Behind him, Yeosang carried a similar torch and was passing the fire to other torches held by other Riders, who were then passing the fire to others around them like believers in a church service would. There was no fire in Yeosang's eyes despite the lit torch in his hands.

"Riders," Mingi shouted and stepped over the rubbled wall that the Riders had just destroyed. He tilted his head down and grinned while surveying the crowd. Then, he elegantly walked over to the first shelf of the Library and let his torch make contact with the last book on the shelf. It took the fire with no issues, becoming an incendiary in moments. The book was quick to share the flames with the paper around it, and soon the entire shelf glowed with fire. Mingi was quick to exit the library as Riders poured into the Library with their torches and began setting the books aflame.

Yeosang, though his eyes were grim with the disapproval of how the Riders were proceeding, was smiling. While their method wasn't the safest or most practical, the Library that had been up for so long was finally being destroyed. The eight Riders watched a safe distance away as their lesser brethren raced into the Library like packs of overexcited hyenas. Many of them likely didn't know what they were fighting for, but they were moths drawn to flame, entranced by the beauty and cruelty of destruction.

Wooyoung smiled while the fire casted red and orange light on his face. "The Library is not exactly a slow-burn, is it?" He said softly as the fire ravenously ate through the texts.

"It's not," Yunho agreed with him. "Especially with the leftover gunpowder from all of the singijeon. Gunpowder revels with fire."

The eight of them watched the Library eat itself in the flames from a safe distance away. It was comical how some Riders passionately drove into the collapsing Library with a torch in their hands and emerged with burns and much less enthusiasm. Sometimes they didn't reappear at all. That feeling caused a bit of discomfort to some of them, but Hongjoong reveled in their discomfort. It just showed how dedicated they were to The Chariot, and Hongjoong was proud of them for their dedication.

It took a half an hour for the great stone Library of Wonder to turn into a charred and wasteful hunk of rock. The papery books had succumbed too easily to the flames and all that was left on the inside of the Library were ashes and the remnant memories of books lost forever. The fire was less of a roar and more whispery and trapped now, only burning the book it was on and not passing its flame to other books.

San was now on top of a horse and rallying the troops to receive medical attention if they needed any and congratulated them on their efforts. "The Chariot is proud of us, Riders," he said, beaming. Some Riders returned a smile, others were too hurt to acknowledge San. "As our great laws say, the disease in the heart of man is human emotion. These books would have spread that harmful message had we not burned them down. For that, He is eternally grateful for your efforts."

San hopped off of the horse and joined the other seven Riders in preparing for the return trip. Behind them, the last of the flames were dying out. Riders still in the Library were stumbling out of the burned rubble. There were likely bodies of Riders that were dead inside of the Library and others that were alive but had succumbed themselves to imperfections of their physical features. And while they had given a valiant effort in destroying the Library, that was a violation of The Rider's code. They would have to cover up if they wished to remain a Rider.

But something else lurked in the rubble as well. All Riders wore blue, but a man in red was now present behind a collapsing and charred bookshelf. His ethnicity, like the Riders, was Korean, but his skin and eyes held heavy years and knowledge of many more cultures and lands that the Riders could only dream of touching. His long black hair was knotted at the back of his head, and beneath his bulging arm muscles was a lengthy silver sword with a red hilt.

But perhaps his most distinguishing feature was the long scar that travelled from his left eyebrow, through his eye, down his cheek, ending right at the tip of his lip. The scar made the left side of his lips permanently downturned. Such a scar directly violated The Rider's code, but this man was above that religion and the laws that it held. This man was Ares, the god of war. And Ares, who thrived in bloodshed and carried the spirit of warfare wherever he walked, was not impressed with the warfare that had gone on at this library.

Yunho noticed him first. He was surveying the Library's remains when he saw the man's hulking figure amidst the ashes like a phoenix. "Hongjoong," he whispered and nudged him. He nodded his head towards the Library.

Hongjoong, who was overseeing a group of Riders, looked over at the Library. Ares locked eyes with him and Hongjoong's blood ran cold. He had no idea who this man was, but he was someone that could send shivers down Hongjoong's spine. There weren't many people that could do that.

Hongjoong took a step forward to address this man, but Ares was already ahead of him.

"So-called Riders," Ares boomed across the land, his voice easily the loudest in the vicinity yet there was no visible effort on his face to make himself heard over everyone. His thigh muscles rippled as he stepped over what was left of the wall. His face was flooded with unfiltered rage.

The rest of the Riders, who had been focused on returning home, froze in their efforts. All eyes were on the giant and muscular man seething in front of them.

Seonghwa grabbed the knife at his side and glanced at Hongjoong for permission. In any other circumstance, Hongjoong would have let him have it. Instead, he softly shook his head, and held his hand in front of Jongho when he realized he was drawing his bow. There was something about this man that Hongjoong did not want to provoke, but the steam coming from his head was proof that he had already been provoked enough. Hongjoong gulped and tried to calm his racing heart.

"I'm Ares, the God of War," the muscled man thundered, and no one was brave enough to disagree with him. He certainly looked the part. Now that he was closer, Hongjoong could see the long scar across his face and wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"You-" Ares began, but he was cut off as a singijeon arrow flew through the air directly towards his face. Hongjoong turned and saw that it was from a young and male Rider, gripping his bow so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Ares didn't flinch at this unexpected attack. With a practiced and weathered hand, he caught the arrow between his fingers. The Riders were stunned. His hand twitched and the arrow snapped in half. "Cute," he muttered, letting it crumble to the ground in his hands. He turned towards the teenage Rider who had shot the arrow and gave him a smile.

Hongjoong began to step forward. He wasn't sure what he was to do for the boy, he wanted to help - but Ares was too quick. With a flick of his hand not unlike the motion he had done with the arrow, the teenage boy jerked inhumanly backward with a loud crack. With his spine completely in two, he toppled over himself backwards onto the ground. His face was lifelessly frozen in shock, and the clear God of War smiled with satisfaction at the work he had done.

A few muffled sobs prevented silence. "Let me speak," Ares said carefully to the crowd, his eyes traveling over them all like he was sizing them up. This time, no one argued.

"Riders," Ares began. "You've burned down The Library of Wonder and all of the wonders it contained. Do you even understand the weight of that action?"

Ares looked directly at Hongjoong and he felt obliged to speak. "The books hold untrue and unsafe messages," Hongjoong spoke to Ares, his knees quivering underneath his pants. He didn't remember his voice sounding so small. "We had to rid them of this world. They have no place here except as smoke and ash. It is The Chariot's wish and creed."

"And your Chariot is nothing more than a weak and ailing minor god," Ares said cooly back to him. It took everything in Hongjoong's power to not curse him out for insulting his god - but he didn't want to end up like the young Rider.

"I know him," Ares continued. "He laughs at the lengths you do for him. He himself knows he is pathetic, but he enjoys seeing humans like you quiver and worship him. And I normally don't bat an eye to his or your shenanigans, I have better things to worry about, other worlds that are far more entertaining than this one," Ares said.

His eyes darkened. "But burning down my wife's Library broke her. So, in turn, you have to deal with me."

Hongjoong realized in horror what he meant. He idly thought of Wooyoung's gleeful act of smashing the statue of the goddess at the front of the Library. He wanted to throw up. Wooyoung looked like he wanted to throw up.

"So I've made it my personal game to make your lives a living hell," Ares said with a smile. "Because no one hurts my wife." He shifted his attention, not just towards Hongjoong, but to the other seven of his teammates crowded around him. They all froze. Hongjoong felt Mingi tense beside him.

"You Riders are simply too vocal for my taste," Ares glared. "The Chariot gives you the power of persuasion because it amuses him, so you all go around recruiting mindless humans to follow your so-called religion. But it is not funny in the slightest." His eyes swiveled to Jongho and his smile widened. "Doesn't this one sing?"

Hongjoong heard Jongho intake a terrified breath. He heard a sudden movement, and then Jongho had taken off running in the opposite direction as Ares. But Jongho was an ant and Ares was a stone. Hongjoong blinked and Ares was in front of the singer.

Jongho was strong, but he was nothing compared to a god. He began screaming as Ares picked him up by the throat, crying out to the Chariot, to his mother, to Hongjoong, to anyone that was listening, but he received no answer. Tears ran down his face and he kicked to be set free. Only his scream, which vastly contrasted his usual mesmerizing singing voice, cut through the air, and then he was abruptly silenced by Ares.

Ares dropped Jongho to the ground at his feet, and the boy continued his sobs in a crumpled mess. But his sobs lacked the voice, no matter how anguished it would have been right now, that the Riders had grown to love.

"He has no more use for his vocal cords," Ares smiled, and Hongjoong's heart dropped to his feet. Jongho had loved his voice. Everyone had loved his voice. Ares looked at the rest of them, and he realized with horror that he was not close to being done with them. "A shame, isn't it?" Ares laughed and stepped over Jongho's shaking body. "Your law says you are to never become mute, lest you want to remain a Rider. Seems like a bit of an issue, does it not?"

Hongjoong tried to move his legs, but he found himself frozen in place. He wasn't sure if it was his own body trying to protect him from harm or Ares immobilizing him, but he could only stare in sickening awe as one by one, Ares stole the voices of every Rider present. For some, he waved his hand and an entire group of people were silenced. Others, like those in Hongjoong's close team, had a solo maiming in front of everyone. No one was spared from Ares' destruction, especially not Hongjoong.

When he was finished, the sea of Riders were silent.

"Now I won't be interrupted," Ares said cheerfully, worlds happier than he was when he first arrived at the library. The hulking man had taken it upon himself to move Jongho's limp and shaking form back to the other seven of them.

"You eight are especially troublesome," Ares whispered, because there was no voice that could be above him. "For that, you have a special place in my personal hell. And now, I will take you to your own personal hell."

Ares raised his hand, and the library in the horizon vanished from view. For a moment, Hongjoong could see nothing, and then a beige wall of a house clouded his vision.

Hongjoong opened his mouth to cry out, but the attempt was fruitless.

"Your own personal hell," Ares said softly, suddenly beside him. The god placed a hand on Hongjoong's shoulder, a soft gesture that a father might do to a son. "You and your seven other friends are in, what I call, a timeout mansion. It is a place that you cannot leave or escape from, so I advise you to not even attempt that. You will sit and you will gaze at the fine art and architecture that this mansion has to offer," Ares said, his words puncturing. "You will be in aching emotional pain because all of this art is, as you call it, a disease to your human heart." Ares rubbed his back while Hongjoong held back tears. "And you will grow to love it."

The god stood up from beside Hongjoong. "That is your answer to escaping. An answer that you must vocalize and preach if you are to ever leave here." Ares smiled at him, and the scar that touched his eye, cheek, and lip curled up with it. And then he was gone, and Hongjoong's hope left with him.

For a few moments, Hongjoong stared at the floor. Then, shaking, he raised his right hand.

There is a disease in the heart of man, Hongjoong thought and touched his chest over his heart. His heart was racing like he had never felt before.

The disease is in me.

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btsqualityy · 4 years

Text

Heaven Sent; Part 2

Jin x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Warnings: None to note.

A month in and the grieving process hadn’t gotten any better for you. In fact, it seemed to get worse. You were barely eating, barely showering, and barely taking care of the house. The only thing that was keeping you going was the reminder that Aera needed you, and that was only barely helping.

Your family and friends had been doing their best to try and be there for you, but you had begun to isolate yourself from them. You didn’t mean to, it was just easier to do that than to have people pitying you and trying to tell you how you should grieve, especially since you still had a daughter to take care of.

The fact that you didn’t want to be around anyone didn’t stop your parents from checking up on you almost daily though, which is why your head instantly began to hurt when you heard a knock at your front door.

“Y/N-ah,” you heard your mother Chae-won shout. “We know you’re in there!”

“We just wanted to check on you,” your father Ji-tae call out. Sighing heavily, you pulled yourself up from the couch and walked over to the door, grasping the handle and yanking the door open.

“There? You happy?” You snapped, not waiting for them to reply before you were turning around and heading back to the couch.

“No, we’re not happy,” Chae-won sighed as she walked into the house, your father following behind her and shutting the front door. “Why aren’t you answering our calls?”

“I’m grieving,” you replied simply, flopping down on the couch.

“Where’s Aera?” Ji-tae wondered.

“Aera!” You shouted out, fast little footsteps accompanying your words as Aera bolted into the living room.

“Papa, Nana!” Aera squealed, rushing over to your father who swooped her up into his arms and pressed multiple kisses to her little cheeks.

“God Y/N, you look like you haven’t eaten in days,” your mother whispered as she sat down on the edge of the couch next to you. “Maybe even weeks.”

“Haven’t been hungry,” you shrugged.

“And Aera?” She wondered and you whipped your head to the side, your glare hard and intimidating.

“What kind of mother do you think I am?” You demanded to know. “Does she look like she’s lost weight to you?”

“No,” your mother shook her head. “You’re just so deep in this depression, I couldn’t be sure.”

“I may be falling apart at the seams because I lost the love of my life, but my daughter is still my whole life and I’d appreciate it if you could remember that,” you snipped and your mother nodded her head immediately.

“Ji, why don’t you take Aera in her room to go play while I talk to Y/N-ah?” Chae-won said and your father nodded.

“Why don’t you show me some of your toys?” Ji-tae suggested and Aera’s eyes widened excitedly.

“Ok! We can have a tea party with my dolls!” She exclaimed happily, making your father chuckle as he carried her out of the living room and down the hall to her bedroom. Once your mother heard the click of Aera’s bedroom door shutting, she instantly reached out, setting her palm on your cheek gently.

“My baby,” she whispered. “It’s breaking our hearts to see you like this, you know?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say Mom,” you murmured.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” she told you gently. “I just wish you’d let us help you.”

“Why, so I can be pitied every time that you and Daddy look at me?” You scoffed lightly.

“We don’t pity you, but we are sad for you.”

“What’s the difference?” You shot back. “I just....I need to work through this by myself.”

“But-”

“It’s not going to help me to have you and Daddy, or anyone else for that matter, breathing down my damn back,” you muttered through grit teeth, trying to contain your annoyance that would surely give way to anger if you let it. “Give me my space to deal with it how I see fit.”

“Ok honey, ok,” your mother relented. “At least answer the phone when we call so that we can know that you’re alright?”

“Fine,” you nodded.

“How about if your father and I take Aera out for some ice cream?” Chae-won suggested. “It’ll be fun for her.”

“Yeah, alright,” you agreed easily.

“And I’ll stop by the store and grab you some groceries while we’re out,” she added, and you turned to look at her with a raised brow. “Don’t even bother lying to me. I know you’re running low by now and I doubt you’ve been to the store.”

“Mom, you don’t have to do that,” you sighed. “I’ll go while you guys have Aera.”

“You sure?” Chae-won checked. “Don’t feel like you need to push yourself.” You almost laughed then, because that’s exactly what you were doing. The last thing that you wanted to do was go out to the store, to face people; but you also didn’t want to be a burden to your parents, which you already felt like given the fact that you had caused them to worry about you so much.

“It’s fine, I got it,” you nodded, putting on a fake smile in order to help reassure her.

“Ok, suit yourself.”

......................................

That’s how you found yourself wandering the aisles at the nearest supermarket, taking a quick glance at the list your mom had made for you. You didn’t have the attention span or patience necessary to take stock of your fridge and assess what you needed but your mom was kind of enough to do it for you, handing the list off to you before walking out of the door with your father and Aera.

As you moved towards the section of kimchi, you took a few seconds to glance over the multiple brands available. You couldn't help but to chuckle to yourself, knowing that if Hae-il were with you, he’d scold you for even looking at the store bought kimchi. “The best kimchi is always homemade”, you remembered him telling you several different times throughout the years. It was funny how grief worked, because you never expected to be tearing up in the middle of aisle 4 over kimchi.

“Y/N?” You heard someone call and you turned your head to the right, seeing Seokjin standing there. Your eyes widened, reaching up and wiping at your eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie that you were wearing.

“Jin, hi,” you chuckled awkwardly. “What are you doing here? I figured you would’ve been back in Japan by now.”

“I uh, I actually just moved back last week,” he revealed, making your eyes widen slightly in surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah. With everything that’s happened,” he motioned with his hand and you knew that he was talking about Hae-il. “I realized that I missed home and life is kind of short to be stuck in Japan with none of my loved ones around.”

“I get it,” you nodded in understanding.

“How are you doing?” He wondered and you squared your shoulders, preparing yourself to tell the lie that you always did whenever people had asked you that question over the last month.

“I’m doing ok,” you told him and it looked like he wanted to challenge that, if the raise of his eyebrows said anything, but he didn’t. A few seconds of awkward silence passed between the two of you then, before he suddenly spoke up again.

“It was the kimchi, wasn’t it?” Jin asked and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What?”

“Before I called your name, you were crying,” he said softly and you immediately began to shake your head.

“I wasn’t.”

“It’s ok, I’m not judging you,” he replied gently before a small smile came across his face. “You were thinking about Hae-il and his crazy agenda against store bought kimchi, weren’t you?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed breathlessly. “You knew about that?”

“Knew about it? Where do you think it originated?” Jin laughed. “When we were in college, there really wasn’t space to make kimchi the old fashioned way so we had to buy the store kimchi and Hae absolutely hated it. It got to a point where he stopped eating kimchi for almost the entirety of our college career, except for when we went home for holidays.”

“That sounds like Hae,” you giggled. “Over-dramatic as all hell.”

“Ridiculous,” Jin chuckled. Another silence fell over the two of you, but it wasn’t as awkward as before.

“Well, I should finish this shopping so that I can get back home before my parents bring Aera home,” you said.

“Alright. Tell Little Heart that I said hi?”

“Sure,” you nodded, moving to turn away.

“Y/N?” Jin called and you turned back to him again. “If you ever need anything, anything at all, you can call me.”

“Jin,-” you started to say but he shook his head.

“Don’t feel pressured or anything,” he assured you. “I’m not forcing you. I just wanted you to know that I’m here if needed.”

“Ok,” you replied softly. “I don’t have your number though.”

“Oh! Just a second,” he murmured, reaching inside of his suit jacket and pulling out a business card. “That has both my office number and my personal cellphone number. Feel free to use either.”

“Thank you,” you whispered and Jin shrugged dismissively.

“No problem. Have a good night Y/N,” he smiled.

“You too,” you responded, sliding his business card into your pocket before turning around and walking away.

......................................

After getting home and getting Aera from your parents, you managed to get the groceries unpacked and put into their proper places throughout the kitchen. However, you noticed that it was getting late and that you needed to start fixing dinner.

The problem was though, that you just couldn’t find the energy to actually cook anything. You knew that you should (given the fact that you had ordered way too much take out over the past month) but between dealing with your parents and making an unwanted trip to the grocery store, you just didn’t have the energy to do anything extra.

Just as you moved to grab your phone off of the kitchen counter, there was a knock on your front door. Furrowing your brows in confusion, you walked out of the kitchen and through the hall, stepping up to the door and pulling it open.

“Jin?” You greeted him, confusion laced through your tone. Jin was standing on your front step, a large Tupperware box in his hands as he fidgeted nervously. “What are you doing here?”

“I know this probably seems really weird,” he started and you cut him off by nodding your head rapidly.

“Extremely,” you agreed. “Did you follow me home?”

“No, of course not,” he shook his head insistently. “I couldn’t remember where the hell you even lived. It took me 20 minutes to find an area that looked even vaguely familiar and I knocked on this old lady’s door by mistake and I still think she might come after me to kill me because I think I woke up her husband or something.”

“Jin?” You interrupted him, making him stop talking. “You’re rambling.”

“Right,” he chuckled nervously. “Well, when I saw you in the store earlier, you looked exhausted. No offense.”

“None taken,” you shrugged, leaning against the doorway and crossing your arms over your chest.

“I went home and made dinner but I always make too much because I like to cook but it’s only me at my apartment so I figured that you and Aera might like some,” he summed up.

“Jin, you didn’t have to go through the trouble,” you sighed heavily.

“It was no trouble at all,” he assured you. “I make way too much, remember?”

“What is it?” You wondered.

“Some samgyeopsal and japchae,” he said as he extended the Tupperware towards you, and you straightened up as you took it from him.

“Aera’s favorites,” you smiled lightly. “That’s a coincidence.”

“It really is,” he laughed. Just then, you felt tiny hands pushing your leg to the side and when you looked down, you saw Aera pushing her way into the doorway as well.

“Hi uncle Jin!” She cheered and Jin grinned widely as he bent down and held his arms out, Aera falling into them immediately.

“Hi little heart,” he cooed, taking a second to press a quick kiss to the side of her head before pulling away from her. “How are you?”

“Good! I had ice cream today with my Papa and Nana!”

“Did you get our favorite?”

“Yep, strawberry!” She nodded and Jin chuckled. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, I just brought you and your mommy some food,” he shrugged. “Some samgyeopsal and japchae.”

“That’s my favorites!” She chirped excitedly, making you laugh at her.

“I know little heart,” he nodded.

“What do you say to uncle Jin love?” You reminded her gently.

“Thank you!” She told him, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.

“No problem,” he replied before standing up straight again. “Well, I should get going.”

“You don’t want to stay for dinner or anything, do you?” You offered, remembering your manners and he smiled while shaking his head.

“No, I’m fine. I just wanted to help you out,” he responded. “See you later.”

“Bye,” you said.

“Bye uncle Jin!” Aera waved her hand wildly, making you smile as you turned around and guided her back inside of the house, shutting the door behind you.

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petri808 · 3 years

Text

We’ll Take Back Heaven a Nalu Yakuza Au

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

“Ms. Heartfilia,” the man nodded at the blonde.

“Mr. Katsunuma.” Lucy bowed in response. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course,” the older male smiled. “Your assistance has led to this celebration after all.”

It was an extravagant party being held in a large room of Katsunuma Industries corporate headquarters. The tech giant was celebrating the acquisition of their rival in the industry… thanks in part to Lucy’s untraceable services. A few bits of intelligence on the rival company coupled by the money laundering Lucy provided allowed Katsunuma to fuel the merger and overtake them. The rival had no choice but to sign the contract because if they didn’t, they would have been put out of business. Part of the deal insured the employees would be kept which had been the rivals concern, but those employees are in large part Katsunuma’s desire to take the business. Their current patents and information aside, those employees were the heart of creating more. It was a genius move.

“Mmm, I do what I can,” Lucy smiled sweetly and held up her glass. “A toast to a successful relationship.”

The man clinked his glass against hers. “For many more years to come. Enjoy the party, Ms. Heartfilia.”

“I will,” Lucy responded with another smile.

As she made her way back towards the temporary bar set up, Lucy chatted with people along the way. Some she knew, others she didn’t, but her stunning looks always turned heads everywhere she went. She wasn’t the typical Asian beauty found around those parts. Her mother was a Caucasian American and her father a Japanese businessman, so the hapa mix created a buxom blonde with almond eyes and legs for days, fluent in both English and Japanese as well as Korean. Gorgeous and intelligent. Men desired her, and women either hated her or wanted to be her. Luckily for the other women, Lucy had no interest in these stuffy, boring business types, except in taking their money because she knew all they wanted were docile arm candies and that wasn’t for her at all.

The only reason she attended these events were to show her loyalties and drum up new business considering she operated at word of mouth. But anyone too eager to do business with her immediately sent up a cautionary flag. No one survives in the dark world by being naive, the biggest lesson her cut-throat businessman of a father ever taught her. Lucy had to get to know the person, feel them out, and background check them inside and out, and even after all that she wouldn’t immediately jump into an arrangement. She made sure that any business wanting to employ her laundering services would lose big time if they ever considered turning on her. ‘Stupid men,’ she mused to herself. Greed was the easiest way to keep them in line, because the green-eyed monster was just too enticing. Another lesson her father taught her the hard way when bankrupted his company on a bad venture.

Lucy placed her empty glass onto the bar top and rested an arm on it. She smiled at the orange-haired bartender. Handsome in a playboy kind of way, even the glasses added to the charm. “A Cosmopolitan, please.”

“Coming right up cutie,” the man winked at her.

She wanted to roll her eyes but played it cool. “Loke, is it,” Lucy read off the name tag on his vest. “Unusual name. Bet you flirt with all the girls, huh?”

“Only the pretty ones,” he grinned back. “And you are the finest example here tonight.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Lucy clicked her tongue with a shrug. “Too bad lines don’t work on me.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Loke smiled back undeterred. “You’re definitely a higher caliber than the rest.”

‘Oh, Kami,’ Lucy droned internally. This guy probably had a ton of cheeky comebacks in his repertoire. Was he fuckable in her view? Toned body but not too muscular, nimble fingers… maybe fit for a one-night affair. It has been awhile since she’d had some action, so maybe he could be fun to end this celebration with. She leaned in closer letting her breasts press up against the counter. “You know this might—”

“Careful dude, this ones got claws you don’t wanna mess with.”

Lucy’s body stiffened in annoyance at the new voice so close to her ear. “Ugh, Natsu.” Not the intrusion she wanted right now!

“My apologies,” Loke immediately put her finished drink down, then his hands up as he took a step back. “You have a good evening ma’am.”

But the bartender’s body language spoke volumes as well. Loke wasn’t reacting solely to the comment, because he was staring straight at Natsu as he spoke. She could imagine that while Natsu’s tone was light, he was probably giving the bartender a menacing glare. Ugh!

Annoyed at Natsu’s interjection, Lucy grabbed her drink in a huff and started to walk away without looking behind her. “I don’t need a knight,” she huffed. But undeterred, Natsu immediately stepped in and tried to weave an arm around her waist. “Don’t get familiar,” she seethed in a hushed tone as she stepped out of his embrace. She didn’t want to cause a scene either, so she pulled him away from the crowd near the bar area to a quieter section. “What do you want Dragneel?”

“It’s improper for a woman like you to be without an escort at these events.”

Lucy placed a hand on her cocked hip in irritation. So, what if that were true, those traditions made her skin crawl. She normally would have brought one, but her go-to guy wasn’t available and since most of the guests knew who she was, Lucy figured they wouldn’t care. Why would a bunch of old guys not want a gorgeous blonde to look at? “I’m perfectly fine by myself considering I’m an invited guest. What are you doing here, this isn’t your playground.” She knew the world of corporate Tokyo and business stiffs were not the type he’d associate with. Though she had to unconsciously admit Natsu looked good in a three-piece suit.

“Be nice kitten, I was invited too.”

“Oh yeah, by who? I know Katsunuma’s not involved with the Yakuza.”

“Not senior, the son. Boy’s got a bit of a habit along with his friends.”

“Ah, let me guess, you’re the supplier.”

“You guessed right, kitten.”

“Stop calling me kitten!”

The irritation in her voice only succeeded in pulling a smirk from Natsu. He was obviously enjoying this dance, which fueled Lucy’s determination to not be swayed by it. She took a sip of her drink in annoyance. “Shouldn’t you check on your client then?”

“What for? Those rich brats partying on daddy’s dime make for disinteresting conversation. I’d much rather talk to you.”

“Lucky me,” Lucy rolled her eyes. “Well, I’d rather schmooze with my clientele. They serve a purpose, you do not.”

Natsu reached out and ran a finger along Lucy’s arm. “So harsh, kitten. We both know you’re enjoying this too.”

The ripple he triggered along her skin and increase in temperature had Lucy internally reeling, though the dead stare she wore on her face showed the opposite reaction. She wasn’t about to admit to a damn thing! “Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that Dragneel. Perhaps one day your dreams will come true.”

“I’m counting on it.”

“Ugh!” Lucy pushed him away in annoyance. “You’re too much! I’m leaving.” She turned her back.

“Oi,” Natsu grabbed her arm forcefully and spun her back around. “I mean it!” he growled in a lowered voice. “You may be damn good at what you do, but you still got a thing or two to learn about a man’s world.”

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Lucy spat back in a hushed tone. “These guys don’t care!”

“You think they’d say it to your face, kitten? I’d overheard more than one of your so-called prospects here gossiping about your shameful behavior and you’ve only been here fifteen minutes.”

“You’re lying.”

His eyes narrowed and brows furrowed. “I’m a lot of things, but you know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Okay, so that was true. Lucy’s known Natsu long enough to know when and if he’d ever lie to her. Still, “fine!” She seethed. “I won’t plan on staying much longer if I’m stuck with you.”

“Aww,” he defiantly tipped her chin up. “But I’ll take such good care of you.”

“Pfft,” she glared back with a twisted smile and voice dripping with sarcastic disdain. “As if. You couldn’t satisfy me then, so… what makes you think you could now?”

“Wow…” Natsu placed a hand over his heart feigning pains and groaning for effect. “Hitting me where it hurts, Luce.” He then grinned and suddenly pulled her flush against his solid body, arm wrapped around her waist, while the other gripped tightly to her hip so she couldn’t move. He leaned in, his face lowered and hovering over her ear. “If only it were true. All those nights… I lost track of how many times you called my name to the heavens.”

Between the sensually deep tone of Natsu’s voice and warm breath fanning over her skin, Lucy couldn’t hide her physiological reactions if she’d tried. Her body stiffened up, fighting a hormonal urge to give in with a sheer determination not to play his game. There was a damn good reason they’d broken up, and until he admitted to what went wrong, there was no way in hell Lucy would go back to him.

“It’s not just about sex,” she gritted out.

“I know…” Natsu let his lips brush against her ear, pulling a shiver from her body. He smirked. “It’s about love.”

Love?! How dare he! Whatever spell he was close to casting instantly dissolved on Lucy and her anger boiled to the surface. She pushed with all of her might, forcing them apart. Oh, she was furious! “And that’s something you know nothing about!” Lucy’s hand flew up faster than even she knew it was happening, landing a loud slap across Natsu’s face. “You made your choice long ago, and love never factored in,” she seethed then stomped away leaving the man alone and speechless amongst whispering bystanders.

So much for celebrating, not after Natsu’s intrusion into the affair. Lucy thanked Katsunuma again for inviting her and left the party. She couldn’t be around Natsu for another second or she just might hit him again. Ugh! He made her so angry! Love… seriously?! He had no right to pull that on her, not when it was his decision that lead to their split. In a way she should thank him for opening her eyes, because that’s what lead to creating her own organization. Lucy wanted to show that women could do just fine in the underworld with the right people and the right plans in place. And she hadn’t been the only one to feel that way. This was the modern era and all the bullshit, patriarchy rules that held them back needed to die with the twentieth century. The saddest part… Lucy didn’t even know if Natsu realized how much he’d hurt her all those years ago.

“Ma’am,” the valet snapped Lucy out of her thoughts. “Your car has arrived.”

“Thank you.” Lucy stepped closer to the curb as the vehicle pulled up alongside her. The valet opened the door for her, but just as she was about to step in, she heard her name called from behind her.

“Natsu, can’t you take a hint!” She turned and snapped while still keeping a hand on the vehicle.

“Luce, I was just playing with you upstairs. I didn’t mean to make you so angry.”

“Well, you did.”

“I don’t understand why!”

“And that’s your problem.”

“But I don’t want you to hate me, and you seem to hate me.”

Lucy sighed from the sheer emotional exhaustion. “I don’t hate you, Natsu. But until you can figure out why I left you, we don’t have anything more to talk about. Now. Good night.” She got into the vehicle, and they drove away.

Once they were out of sight, Lucy slumped down into the seat holding back the cloud of tears building in her eyes. She’d meant what she said, all of it including not hating him. Frankly, she didn’t know if she could. Anger, yes, but hatred no. They’d been young but even she recognized the connection she had to Natsu wasn’t something she could easily walk away from, and she also knew he wasn’t lying when he’d brought up love. The man’s reaction to seeing her flirt with the bartender was a reminder of his feelings for her. But it wasn’t enough. Lucy didn’t want to feel like an unequal partner in the relationship and that’s exactly what the Yakuza world Natsu chose expected.

“Home, miss?”

“Yes, please take me home.”

#nalu #nalu au #nalu fan fic #nalu fan fiction #Natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #yakuza au #modern yakuza #rivalry #Natsu x lucy #we'll take back heaven #ch 3 #petri808

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

Text

Sleepless (LoV x Reader)

Pairing: League of Villains x Reader, platonic relationship

Shigaraki, Toga, Twice, Kurogiri, Dabi x reader

@riarora messaged me with the request: "So I was thinking platonic LOV x child reader (You can make them 18 if you're more comfortable, but I was thinking more like 14-15)The reader (I'll refer to them as she/her, but you can make it gender neutral) has really bad insomnia so every night, she would be pacing around, doing anything and everything to make sure no dark thoughts take over. Usually, none of the LOV would bat an eye, but considering the fact that she's a child, they feel sympathy, so they indirectly try to get her to fall asleep. Like, sending her on extra missions (always with protection of course) or changing her normal tea with sleeping tea, or maybe just straight up telling her to sleep."

Genre: Comfort

Word Count: 2,291

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: Thanks for the request sweetie! I hope you like it~

Wrote this while listening to a Shinsou playlist on Spotify and it was pretty chill to listen to, if y’all want the link you can comment or dm me and I’ll send it. Something different, but I like how it turned out. It's twice as long as I thought it would end up being, but I think it fits. It's a comfort story that I hope you guys will read even if you don't normally read stuff for the villains. I really like it, I hope you guys read it if you need some comforting. Enjoy~

Like a lot of people, I don't have the nicest thoughts. Most nights, I'm trying everything to block them out and find the sweet release of sleep, whether it's trying to consciously think of other things to block them out, escaping out of my sheets to pace or run in place inside this small room I was given, or getting up to get a snack. Unsurprisingly, none of it works. The rest of the League constantly tease me about my dark circles making me look more villainous all I do is smile, because at least it means I'm part of something now. I would ask them to get me something to busy myself, like a sketch book or a notebook to keep me busy at night, but they aren't my parents; they have no obligation to take care of me and they've already give me a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

Little by little, the perceived barrier between us broke down before I realized it.

It started when I took one of my late night trips to the kitchen only to see the light on already. Toga's crooked but innocent smile beams up at me as she twirls a knife in her hand, leaning against the counter. "You're up too, hmm~? Wanna take a trip with me?"

We ended up shrugging on our jackets and masks, walking into the dark, brisk night to the nearest grocery store. "You waited until 2 AM to get pomegranates?" I raised an eyebrow at her zipping straight to the produce section of the market.

"I didn't wanna go alone~" Toga casually responded in her singsongy voice. "A little girl like me shouldn't be out alone at night. Besides, late night shopping in a practically empty supermarket is the best time to go. It's super creepy!" She giggles, filling a plastic bag with three large fruits.

We returned to our hideout and she asked me to help her de-seed them. I slide in next to her, taking the knife out of her hand. Not like I had anything better to do. What was I gonna do, sleep? Sure, okay.

She sliced the fruits in half and held her hands over a large, empty container, using just her hands to push the seeds off the bitter white core, humming to herself. "Are you sure there isn't a more...strategic way to do this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the mess she was making of her hands.

Toga just giggled and held my stare with her cat-like yellow eyes. "When it gets all over your fingers, it kind of looks like blood doesn't it?" She shivered in ecstasy as she licked the scarlet juice running down her hands and the knife she cut them with. "Mmm, so sweet."

While I continued, trying to avail to be as clean as possible, taking sips of the tea she made for us while we work. I chanced a few tastes myself, chuckling at my own hands. "You're right, it looks like we've commit murder."

"Right?" she chirped with the widest grin, "Isn't it fun?"

I made a better point to get more juice on my fingers before curling my fingers grossly towards her. "I want your heart, Toga. Give it to me!" I growled.

She giggled and held one of my wrists so she can lick some of the juice off. "Too bad you can't have it."

After we finished gathering the seeds into the bowl, we sat on the couch, munching on them by the handful and finishing our drinks. My eyelids kept drooping as I drank my tea.

"We should go on adventures more often," Toga purred as I near the end, taking my cup, laying me down, and covering my body with a blanket before petting my head. Her voice singing, "Sleep well, (Y/n)" was the last thing I heard before drifting off. It was the best night's sleep I'd gotten in a long while.

A few days later, Kurogiri stopped me from heading to bed while the rest went off. "I heard you and Toga up late a few nights ago. Why don't you help me clean up before going up?"

I agreed, mostly because I would be awake with my thoughts anyway. He had me shining his glasses, climbing up a ladder to dust the top shelves of his bar, wiping down the counters, and organizing his liquor.

"Have some of this, child." He set down a cup of tea and saucer on the counter while I was organizing his top shelf liquor, the clock flashing 1:57 AM. "You've been a big help."

I climbed down carefully and stare down at the translucent, peach colored liquid carefully.

He noticed my cautiousness. "How are you adjusting?"

I tilted the cup around, swishing the liquid around before holding it up to my lips. "It's better than where I was before, thank you."

"I'm glad you're settling in and getting along with the rest."

"It's just Toga so far." I sipped a good portion of the hot liquid, easing down my through smooth as the honey I can taste that he added.

"It'll take time for the others to warm up to you. Shigaraki and Dabi especially don't take to strangers that easily, but they'll come around." His cold, portal enclosed hand rested on my head. "We're happy to take you in as our family, (Y/n)."

I smiled at his assurance of me, nodding in gratitude, but still hesitant about feeling that I fit in here.

We talked for a while more until I finished his tea and he sent me off to bed. Though reluctant - I even offered to do more cleaning up to keep myself there - he insisted I leave. I trudge to my room, the exhaustion in my bones and muscles more apparent than usual. I know this old trick; even when I'm fatigued, my thoughts still keep me up. But as I ease under the blanket and close my eyes, I feel myself pulled down into sleep without interference. I started thinking there was something in the tea.

It took a while for Shigaraki to come around, as Kurogiri said. He heard the rustling of me rolling around in bed on his way back from getting a glass of water from the kitchen. "Hey, you still awake?"

I turned over and sat up. "Am I bothering you? I'm sorry-"

"You wanna come play games with me?" It was an unexpected question. He never talked much to me so I figured he wanted to keep his distance.

But I still agreed, ending up in his dark room where only the TV cast its artificial light over us. He pulled up another pillow for me to sit with him, leaning back against the mattress and box-spring stack. He resumed his game, some kind of RPG with amazing art and storytelling. The main character had jet black hair and traveled with three other guys of varying talents and personalities. They seemed to have a great relationship together as they trekked across their virtual world in a fancy car. (1000 brownie points if you know which game i'm referencing)

There was a hilarious part in the game where the crew rode on the backs of these fluffy, yellow birds that were the size of ostriches. "What's the point of this part?" I asked curiously.

Shigaraki beamed at the screen, his chapped lips spreading in joy. "It's just something you always have to do in these games."

My eyes remained glued to the screen. Shigaraki wouldn't ask me if I wanted to play after one time, which I appreciated. I'm not too good at playing games, I prefer watching other people play them from the sidelines. I followed the complicated story line, impressed with how fleshed out the world is, the detail in the art, and the power system interface. If I were better at gaming, I'd understand how amazing it would feel playing it; I was immersed in it even as a spectator.

The game got to a cave-crawling segment. The eased up voice acting, ambient noise, and dimmed lighting made my eyes heavy. I didn't want to fall asleep in Shigaraki's room, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep if I went back to mine.

"You can sleep if you want. Get comfortable."

Though he didn't particularly use a motherly voice like Kurogiri, I understood he was trying to come off the same way. I ended up laying on my head on my pillow, sprawling onto the floor on my stomach, the noise of the game slowly lulling me off to sleep. In the morning, I would wake to a blanket pulled over my body. It somehow became a weekly occurrence; we wouldn't talk to each other, but the silence was comfortable. It was reassuring that I didn't always need that strange tea to put me to sleep.

Late nights with Twice are probably my favorite. He's like a huge dad, or much older big brother. I connected with him on a more emotional level than the rest. If I found myself in the kitchen rummaging for snacks, he'd come up and pick out a bunch and sit us at the table with some tea.

"I have trouble sleeping too sometimes," he admitted, popping some chips in his mouth. "I was lonely before I found these guys. I had no one but myself, and the many versions of myself weren't the most forgiving on me either."

I stared down at my glass of warmed milk. "So your thoughts were actually told out loud to you all the time?" I whispered softly.

"Yup." He blinked before waving his hands in front of his face wildly. "But that doesn't mean I had it worse than you, that's not what I'm saying at all! Your problems are just as valid and important and-!"

"It's okay, I understand."

He offered a sympathetic lopsided smile. "I know you've been through a lot, kid, and it probably feels like a lot and nothing at the same time. The times when it feels like a lot will hurt, and that's okay. You'll get through it and grow up to deal with it in your own way. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel, believe me. You can't see it now, but it's there. Keep fighting through it." He touched my hand over the glass. "I'm here for you, we're here for you."

I felt like crying, suddenly choked up by the bitter nostalgia of missing my parents. "You'd be a great Dad, Twice." I tried to cover for my tears and unsteady voice by clearing my throat and rubbing my eyes.

He hummed in response. "I've always wanted a kid. Things never ended up that way though."

I found myself finally sobbing at his misfortune piling on top of mine. "That's really shitty actually," I choked out.

He handed me a tissue to wipe my face with. "Let it out, kid. Sometimes it's good to just cry it out."

And I did, until I finally sobbed myself to sleep at the table, and Twice picked up and returned me to my bed, tucking me in like the soft dad he should've been.

Dabi remained the hard nose one, keeping his distance and looking down on me. Like Shigaraki, walked by my room while I was tossing around, but he stood over my bed. "Hey. If you don't go to sleep, I'm putting you to work."

Put me to work he did, sending me out to fetch him snacks, cards, or cigarettes. Once, he decided to join me and we ended up on the roof of our abandoned building after coming back from the convenience store. The stars already dusted the sky as Dabi lit the cigarettes with his blue flames just for fun, watching them disintegrate into ash in front of his eyes. I never knew how to get him to open up, he's too gruff for me to start a conversation with him, so I stuck to being mesmerized by his flames.

"What's on your mind that you can't sleep, kid?" he finally asked, breaking the awkward silence and cutting off his quirk to stare me hard in the eyes.

"N-Nothing." I hated to admit it, but I'm scared of Dabi the most. Both him and Shigaraki can end my life in a fraction of a second, but Dabi overall has the scarier aura. "Just...thinking."

After a few more moments of braving his stare, he looked up. "Yeah, we all do that a lot, don't we? Us damn human can't help but think. It'd be nice if we can pull the cord sometimes, yeah?"

"I guess," I answered carefully.

He studied me again out of the corner of his eye before flickering back up. "Do you ever think that's why none of us survive well alone? We need other people to distract us all the time because then we'd get stuck in our heads, and we all know how dangerous that can be if we're stuck there for too long. It never ends well." He adjusts himself, placing his hands behind his head to rest his neck. "We all got demons, kid. It's what makes us stronger, but you gotta grow from them first. And I guess that's what the rest of us are for, so if you need us, you know what to do."

It was with Dabi that I realized he had a point. I'm not alone anymore and none of the others seem to think of me as a stranger or a stupid little kid they have to be responsible for. I'm a member of this group now, I should rely on them as support, just not in the traditional way.

How I ultimately ended up here doesn't help any of the awful things I tell myself or what happened to me, but being here definitely helps, especially when I'm surrounded by people who subtly share solidarity with for now.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of villians x reader #dabi #toga himiko #mha twice #kurogiri #shigaraki #request #platonic #gender neutral reader #comfort #league of villains imagine #league of villains scenario #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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