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kazoosandfannypacks · 1 year ago

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"as the sun rose and seasons changed" ch 2/2

Summary: Having asked her father's blessing, Lord Mount Dunstan is ready to propose to Bettina.

a/n: "Magnificent- that is the word. To go to her on equal grounds to take her hands and speak one's passion as one would- as her eyes answered. Oh, one would know! To bring her home to this place- having made it as it once was- to live with her here- to be WITH her as the sun rose and set and the seasons changed- with the joy of life filling each of them. SHE is the joy of Life- the very heart of it. You see where I am- you see!"

-Lord Mount Dunstan, The Shuttle, ch. 35

taglist: @melliabee @accidental-spice @kanerallels [if you’ve read the shuttle, shoot me a dm or ask, and I’ll add you to the taglist!]

Also on Ao3!

Part 2: "TWO STRONG FORCES DRAWING TOGETHER"

Though the sun seldom cast its warm rays in late autumn, the pale glow through the window of Dunstanwolde's master bedroom may have been the golden beams of summer for how they touched the heart of the lord as he woke. This cheerful wakeup was one of many new additions to his daily routine. You've no idea how good it feels to wake up happy unless you've woken up miserable every morning leading up to it. He opened the window and stood in front of it for a spell, breathing in the crisp chill of the late autumn air.

Today was the day. Now that he had her father's blessing, there was nothing stopping Dunstan from proposing to Bettina– except, of course, for his own self doubt. Maybe now that Lord Anstruthers was tucked away for life on bedrest and the heroism of Dunstan's rescue had faded, reality might crash in at any moment. Would Bettina really settle for "the ducal bargain counter–" for a beggar Lord like Mount Dunstan? She could have any man in the world– all the men in the world could never measure up to her– how foolish must he be to assume she'd take just him.

But before he could let the doubt creep in further, Dunstan remembered how tightly she'd clung to him after he'd returned to her on that night he'd seemed lost, and how desperate her voice had called to him, and how longingly her eyes had met his. Surely, she had to see something more in him than just the surface level squalor he claimed his own. Surely, some part of her seemed to like him too.

And if anything could prove that, it would be this day.

—

Bettina had been at Dunstanwolde more frequently each week. While the Vanderpoels never sought to impose upon Lord Mount Dunstan, they often would come around the estate for lunch, usually bringing food with them enough to share, citing such occasions as "Rosalie needed to get out today and you're our nearest neighbors" and recently "you men have been tramping about the estate all morning and must be famished, so we brought around a meal," and on one occasion, "we've received a letter from Selden and knew that Reverend Penzance would enjoy reading it."

Today's occasion was arranged by her father– they'd finished going over the estate yesterday, so why not come around to celebrate? Perhaps they might even show Ughtred some of the lovely old stories and relics of the former Mount Dunstans, and of course the women might enjoy a tour of some of the rooms that were in better condition, and a few that had lovely views of the acres and acres of land.

And yet, Bettina knew there was more to this day than a simple celebration of the completion of a mere weeks' survey. Her father had never been able to keep a secret from her, and though he made no mention of it, something special twinkled in his eye when he'd returned that night– something Bettina didn't even need to ask about. If he'd wanted to tell her, she reasoned, he would've immediately– and only one piece of news could be so beautiful while still necessitating secrecy. It was, after all, why her father had gone over the estate with him, wasn't it? There was no disguising the truth: Lord Mount Dunstan had finally asked her father's blessing for her hand in marriage, and he had granted it.

Still, they'd apparently wanted to keep it a secret, so Bettina played along, acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary as the cab drove them to his estate, and as Lord Mount Dunstan greeted her with a smile– one that they both knew would've been a hug if her family hadn't been watching them– and all throughout their stolen glances at the luncheon table.

"Would you care to join me for a walk?" Dunstan asked Bettina after they'd eaten.

"It's a bit cool outside this afternoon," Bettina said, making calculations of his expression as it fell, and as it rose again when she said, "but I shouldn't mind the weather, in such warm company as yours."

Truly, their company must've been warm, for neither party noticed the damp chill in the air as they wandered the pathways of the estate together, saying everything and nothing as they walked.

"Do you remember our second meeting?" Dunstan asked.

"When we walked these same paths?" Bettina smiled, "and I thought you were the gamekeeper?"

"I didn't know one of my most sacred memories was forming." He shook his head.

"Oh?" Bettina asked, "which one was that?"

"It was right in that clearing," Dunstan said, and he took her by the hand to the exact spot, "right here, where you whispered six words: 'but oh, if it were mine!'"

"I recall that moment," Bettina said, "the whole were almost as though a dream. I never could stand to see broken things go to ruin, not when there was still a soul who loved them."

"There's a reason I brought you out here today, Betty," he smiled, "you've always been clever, so I know you know what I'm going to ask you, but I'm going to ask it anyways, and it's going to be the most terrifying moment of my life."

"You've no reason to be afraid, James." She rarely called him by his first name rather than his title, but now it felt proper to do so.

"You've no idea what I fear to lose, Miss Vanderpoel," he said, "I know of your love for Dunstanwolde, and your disdain for its condition– and of my love for it as well. If all I were offering was my land and my title, to watch from the sides as you touch all around me with your life, I'd give even that. But what I ask is something deeper. I do not ask you to love a sullied name or a crumbled ruin. I ask you to love the man who holds nothing besides them," and here he took her hand and said, "I'm asking you to love me."

Still holding her hand, he knelt before her, one knee supporting him on the damp earth his ancestors had killed for and died on. Out of his pocket he pulled a ring, and held it before her.

"Bettina Vanderpoel," he asked, "will you marry me?"

He wasn't the first man who'd proposed to her– but somehow she'd hoped all along that he would be the last.

"Yes," Bettina said, and his smile when she said it forced a willing laugh from her lips, "I will– and not for the ruins or title you offer, but for you. I love you, Lord James of Mount Dunstan."

"I love you as well," he said, as he slid the ring onto her finger, "I love you as madly and truly as any man ever has loved a woman– and I'll continue to love you more every moment you stand by my side."

"And I shall stand by your side forever," Bettina said.

He stood up, his eyes fixed on hers until the very moment he pulled her into his embrace, his arms strong and tight around her, her head close to his heart. His breath warmed her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

He pulled her away from him as she turned to look up at him– only far enough that they could look at each other, still close enough that she could hear him whisper, "I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how much I love you."

"Don't worry," she whispered back,"we have our whole lives to figure it out."

They smiled at each other, then leaned closer, stealing one little kiss before they had to return to her family.

And so it was that what Bettina had wished to be hers came to her, how something broken became new, how she saved what was great from coming to despair, all because one soul loved it– all because her soul loved him.

#the shuttle (1907)#the shuttle #frances hodgson burnett #kazzy writes #salttina #lord mount dunstan #bettina vanderpoel #kazzy weaves words #otp: a bargain from the ducal remnant counter #saltinna

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johnsamericano · 3 years ago

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𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh

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peachhyychenle · 3 years ago

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bloom bloom, heart | h.rj

'bloom bloom pow! the moment i met you, i felt like i'd explode. my heart fluttered. i hope it's not a dream' - bloom bloom, the boyz

pairing: florist!renjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

for the nostalgic melodies event hosted by @knet-bakery

playlist: bloom bloom the boyz, life still goes on nct dream, dive into you nct dream, cherry kisses chungha

a/n: my first fic for an event!! i hope you all enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. also,, go check out everyone else that participated in the event!! oh, i also haven't had the time to proof-read this so, sorry lmao.

summary: flowers held many different meanings, and renjun loved that. from giving someone a baby's breath to giving them peonies, he loved how up front the message was, yet how hidden it was to someone that didn't understand their true meanings. You had always adored flowers, the colours, the scents, the meanings. And so, every week, you would go into Floral Dreams, to buy new flowers to draw, however Renjun would always throw in additional flowers to express his ever-growing crush on you, unbeknownst to him you understood every word.

If you had told Renjun this time last year he would be working part time as a florist, he would've simply laughed. But yet here he is, adorning a black apron, rearranging the plants in the display cabinet.

Floral Dreams was a great place for Renjun. It was never too busy, it was a five minute walk to his apartment and, thanks to Donghyuck, he has learned far more about flowers in the past month than he has learned about art history at his uni classes. He would never admit it to him, but Renjun was intrigued by the meanings each flower held.

From the bluebell to the yellow carnation, every flower held a different meaning. At first, Renjun couldn't care less. They were just flowers after all, their only job to him was to sit and look pretty. However the longer he spent in the floristry, the more his curiosity and his passion grew.

And now here he was, currently wiping down the counter he had just used to arrange a bouquet for somebody's birthday.

As he returned behind the till, the soft chime of the shop door bell rang. He glanced over and locked eyes with you. You seemed to be a regular. always popping in on a Wednesday afternoon, no matter the weather, to buy different pre-made bouquets. At first, Renjun found it odd how you would only buy one particular colour palette of flowers or even just a singular flower, however as you came in more often than not with a camera bag over your shoulder along with a sketchbook poking out the top of the tote bag you carried, it started becoming clear why you would buy them.

His current theories are that you are an artist that just really liked to paint flowers (specifically pink and yellow varieties) or you're a plant mum that just has an apartment filled to the brim with colourful flowers and plants.

His first hunch was correct.

A few months ago, you had moved into Neo City in order to attend the local university and study fine art. It was an interesting place for sure. It was a quaint town yet there was always something going on, whether it be different celebrations for certain holidays or events, to small annual carnivals and parades that would happen.

During your first week of moving in, you had explored the town centre, natural curiosity getting the better of you. That was when you stumbled upon Floral Dreams. The forest green painting on the window frames along with several broad leafed plants sat outside the shop, charmed you.

You remember when you first met Renjun. It was a rainy Wednesday about a month after you had moved. Your classes had just finished and you decided to buy a small bouquet. Something to brighten your dreary dorm room. And so you headed to Floral Dreams. When you stepped into the shop, instead of the cheery greeting you would usually get from Donghyuck, you found that he was busy talking to another guy, Renjun.

Both boys had briefly glanced towards the door, with Donghyuck giving a small wave, whilst the other boy shot you a smile. He was cute.

Returning the wave with your own, you continued into the shop, looking at all the flowers, taking in their colours and scents. Five minutes had gone by and you had chosen all the flowers you had wanted and walked up to the counter to place your order.

You rang the small bell placed on the countertop and after a few seconds, the new guy from earlier emerged from the back room and properly greeted and introduced himself, Renjun.

To say he was pretty was an understatement. He had a soft smile, kind eyes and long hair which made him look ethereal. His voice was melodic. So melodic that you only snapped back to reality halfway through his sentence.

You purchased the flowers and had another look around the empty shop, this time to admire the blossoming flowers. Back at the counter, Renjun would glance at you, whilst he wrapped the bouquet, his mind thinking about your smile and vibe whilst his hands carefully wrapped the bouquet up.

When he was finished, he rang the desk bell to catch your attention. He handed you the flowers and you were on your way. Not before turning back to Renjun and shooting him one last smile with a cheerful goodbye.

From the moment you walked in, Renjun knew his heart had exploded and his slightly dull world would never be the same again.

Week after week you would come back to the shop. It was always at 4pm and it was always an hour into Renjun's shift. You guys had managed to acquaint yourselves and make small talk, with the weather and how both of you had been, being the usual topic of choice.

Today Renjun was determined to make a move. Whether it was changing the topic to be something more in depth, or giving his number to you, he was definitely going to do something. And so when you walked up to the counter to place your order, Renjun made his move. He asked the question that had been on his mind. Why in the heavens did you buy so many flowers? The laughter that followed made Renjun's heart flutter, it was beautiful.

You then proceeded to explain the reason you moved and why almost all the store's sales were from you. Upon hearing that you went to the same university he did, Renjun was enthralled and began talking about his passion for art and the history behind famous pieces.

Much to his dismay, his hands had a mind of their own, and had wrapped up your selected bouquet far too quickly for his liking. Just as you were about to grab the bouquet, Renjun let out a 'wait!' which made you pause.

He ran into the back room and came out a moment later with some ribbon along with a couple of gardenias and blue salvias. 'It'll make the bouquet look amazing, trust me' he said with that smile you had fallen for.

Once he was done, you took the flowers, bid him adieu and left, ready to take photographs of this masterpiece.

As soon as you left, Renjun let out a sigh of content and his heart started to calm down. He had a crazy idea to use what he had learned from Donghyuck, and to confess to you in the form of flowers.

It was a bold move, one that made him feel happy with himself.

Over the next couple of months the same routine would occur. You arrived, picked out flowers, ordered the bouquet, Renjun would wrap them up, you would take them, then leave.

However, as time went on, you began noticing flowers that you hadn't picked out.

For example, you had ordered a bouquet with mainly red flowers, with a couple of white ones to make it more visually appealing, however you don't really remember picking up the white camellia. Or that time you noticed a couple of yellow jasmines mixed with your sunflowers.

You eventually thought of looking up what these flowers meant. You knew one of your old high school flowers loved gardening and would often talk about flower meanings, but you had never paid any mind to them. Oh how you wish you had.

And so that's how you spent the evening on different websites looking at different meanings for all the flowers you could remember buying, and the definitions.

The morning after, you had a brilliant idea.

That next week, you came in at the usual time with a list on your phone of all the flowers you had never actually bought. You suspected that a certain someone kept slipping different flowers into your bouquet, which was actually quite sweet to you, however you were going to surprise him.

You picked out various flowers that were composed for a yellow, blue and white theme. You included the yellow jasmines and gardenias, along with the white camellias and blue salvias. Additional flowers were added and made a stunning bouquet, the best you had imagined yet.

For how quiet the shop was, your heart was thumping a lot louder than usual, despite this you walked to the till with a small smile. The normal routine went on, Renjun making conversation with you. The topic for today was conspiracies and aliens, which would usually be quite interesting to you, but your mind was in a different place.

Just as Renjun was tying the last ribbon up, a 'wait!' escaped your lips. A slightly startled Renjun paused to look at you. Dashing away to the front of the store, you picked out a red rose and walked back to where he was waiting.

Much to his surprise, you added the rose to the centre of the bouquet, pushed the bouquet towards him and then pulled out a letter that had been in your coat pocket and pushed it across the counter in his direction.

He froze. Almost everyone knew what a red rose meant.

He opened the letter. All the flowers he had given you with their meanings were listed, along with the red rose.

I love you.

Underneath was a small paragraph. His already racing heart began to explode as he read the words 'let's go on a date tomorrow' followed with your number underneath.

He looked back up to you. You were currently looking everywhere and anywhere that wasn’t Renjun.

Placing the letter down, he came around from behind the desk and hugged you. He could feel you tense up under him, however in a matter of seconds, your arms were around him, and a sigh of relief escaped your lips.

From the moment he met you, his heart had exploded, the colours in his world seemed to be brighter whenever you were there.

He loved hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, being in your presence.

Time felt non-existent with you.

He loved you, as much as you loved him.

And that was all he needed.

#knetmelodies #knetbakery #nct #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct renjun #nct dream renjun #renjun #huang renjun #nct renjun scenarios #renjun scenraios #renjun drabbles #nct drabbles #nct timestamps #nct imagines #renjun imagines #renjun timestamps

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babygirlkiki1016 · 4 years ago

Text

Masterlist

Prologue

Chapter 1: The Company

"Do you have to leave?" Lani asked as she handed me my bag, she was always the nervous one.

"Yes, it's important. Take care of things while I'm gone, I have faith in you Lani. I'll be back before you know it." Lani was like a younger sister to me, the one always hiding behind the older one. While I was going to be missing, I put her in charge of the kingdom. She knew how everything worked, she was always there next to me when I was taking care of business anyhow. Of course, after a few days of traveling to the shire I wanted to turn back to see if she was alright, but I knew I had to keep going. And eventually, I stood in front of the green door with a dwarven letter carved into it. Taking a deep breath I knocked, and the voices I had heard went quiet. It's just a bunch of dwarves, nothing to be worried about. The door opened to reveal a hobbit, not as tall as me but he was up to my shoulders.

"Uh, c-come in." He steps to the side, and I walked forward, they must've been expecting me. Setting my bag down by the front door, I took in everything. It was small and cozy, I wish my home looked like this. Continuing on I came across the thirteen dwarves Gandalf had mentioned.

"This is Y/n Y/l/n, I believed she could be a wonderful asset to our quest." The raven-haired man couldn't keep his eyes off me, it was like he was dazed, now that I think about it every dwarf's gaze was still on me. Including a young man about my height, maybe even taller. I smirked, hello handsome, my cheeks burned a shade of crimson as I realized my thought process. Gandalf nudged the man to get his attention, and he snaps out of his trance.

"My name is Thorin Oakenshield, it is a pleasure to meet you, my lady." He bowed his head slightly, giving me a small smile.

"You won't be saying that in a few seconds," I muttered, Gandalf swallowed nervously as he said his next words carefully.

"I should mention, that Y/n is also...The Queen of The Digonisks. The Soul Of The Black Dragon." Everyone's eyes widened, but no one said a word except the blond man in the back.

"What's a Digonisk?"

"There dragons, and murderers." Thorin glared at me with a fire in those blue orbs. I just rolled my eyes, of course, that's what he thought of me. Yet how could we be the murderers when their kind slaughtered mine? "I want her out, that filth cannot come on this quest with us."

"'That filth' has a name you know, and for your information, it's not really up to you now is it?" I exclaimed, he went to protest but Gandalf held out his hand to silence him.

"She can help us Thorin, she has the ability to take down Smaug. She might be the only one who can."

"I don't care." He abruptly stood, not even a foot away from me. "Leave, or I'll strike you down where you stand." Silently, I conjured a dagger and placed right against his side making him gasp.

"You'll be dead before you can even draw your sword, you should be thankful I came to help. I could've easily said no and let karma continue it's pace. Especially after what your kin did to us, you took my home, killed my people! Your no better than Smaug himself. Now sit." I forced him back into his chair, his hand gripped tightly on his blade. He wants to play does he? Bring it on.

"Enough!" Gandalf stood, making the room fill with darkness. "I brought her along, and so she shall stay, if you try to lay a hand on her I won't hesitate to lay one on you." He was furious, but as he sat back down the room turned back to normal. Each dwarf was scowling at me, except the two in the back. Right, they don't know the history between us.

"It was nice meeting you, your majesty." I bowed, and turned back towards the door. "I'll be outside, tell me when we're leaving."

"Wait! You haven't even heard about-" Gandalf stands but I raise my hand, silencing him. "At least stay and listen." I stopped, I already new of their quest, there was no reason for me to be in this room. And none of them probably didn't want me to stay anyhow.

"You can sit by us." The man in the back offered, patting the seat next to him with a smile. The other's hissed at him but he ignored their comments, making my way to the end of the table, I sit between him and the blond. Both were slightly blushing, and staring at me with those beautiful eyes though trying to make it less obvious. Thorin continues to eat his stew, making very little eye-contact with me.

"Perhaps we could do introductions? I still only know two of the people in this room."

"Right, that would be best." Gandalf agreed, and he pointed to each individual as he named them off. "Here you have Thorin, the leader of our company. Bofur, with his brothers Bomber and Bifur, then Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, Oin, Dori, Nori and Ori. Then last but not least the two next to you, Kili and Fili." None of them seemed happy, if looks could kill I would've been dead the moment Gandalf mentioned what I was. When Gandalf named off Kili, he winked at me while slightly smirking. I winked back making him look away embarrassed, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked, looking over at his king, who nods.

"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin asked, Thorin hesitated as he stated his answer.

"They will not come." The other dwarves become visibly upset, I decided that this might take awhile. So I played with the little flame that came from my finger, it didn't burn me for I was immune to fire. I was in my own mind, my own little world while humming a melody.

"Can she please leave?" I heard Thorin whisper, leaning closer to the wizard. "She does not belong here." Gandalf knew nothing would get done if I stayed, so he gives me a pleading look. Happily I left the table, and headed back outside, it felt nice out here. Sitting on the pavement I watched the stars, they were a lot farther away now. My kingdom was high up in the sky, higher than the mountain of Erebor. It's far above the clouds where no eye can see, Gandalf made it that way with the help of my mother's grimoire. He made what's called a floating island, only digonisks and wizards can enter. I heard the hobbit door open, and out came Kili with a bowl of food.

"Here." Kili smiled handing me a bowl of stew. "I thought you would be hungry, so I brought you some stew."

"I'm not eating that, especially not from a dwarf." He slowly brought it back to himself, he seemed upset for some reason.

"It's not poisoned if that's what your worried about." He muttered, sitting down next to me. "Here I can test taste it." He quickly took a bite, showing that it wasn't fatal. He handed it back to me with a look of hope.

"Thank you." I took it from him, and hesitantly took my first bite. It tasted delicious, even my people didn't have soup made like this. "Did you make this yourself?"

"Ah no, Bombur made it, mostly for us but I figured you were hungry." Well at least he had some manners, he's certainly more nicer than Thorin. "Don't worry about my uncle, he just, he told me why he hates your kind. Even though that happened, you weren't the one doing the killing."

"Of course he's already spreading rumours." Kili glanced over at me with curiosity. "How about you hear my side of the story. Believe which ever one you want, it won't matter." Cause soon my people will be set free, and each and everyone of you will be filled with guilt. "My kin aren't killers, the village of Hargen had been over run by orcs. We were the first ones to respond to the crisis, and we had driven out the enemy. Yet when the dwarves showed up, Thror believed it to be us who slaughtered them. That wasn't the case, blinded by rage he started rumours about us, saying we weren't peaceful and that we were murders. There already had been rumours, but that was mostly because Digonisks are extremely powerful. The people of Middle Earth knew that if we tried, we could over power them. When they started making rumours, they thought that we would go hide in the shadows. Yet we stilled stayed strong, and when that wasn't enough..." A single tear slipped down my cheek, the horror that occurred in that building was enough to make someone insane. I quickly wiped it away, I can't let him see me weak. "...The dwarves became the true monsters, them and mankind had invited us to the grand ball. I was only a child then, but I remember I was so excited to see the tiny men that roamed our world. Most of us had showed up, and when the doors closed the explosions started."

"...I'm sorry you went through that, but if you hate dwarves so much. Why come and help us?"

"There is something in that mountain that proves my kin is innocent. Reports from Thror himself about what really happened that day. And I intend to find it, so my people can be free once again. That's the main reason why Gandalf brought me here, he showed me a letter from Thrain. Explaining where to find the reports." He looked back to sky, wondering what to say next. I continued to eat my stew, and once I was finished he offered to take the bowl from me.

"Come back inside, surely if you explain to my uncle what's in that mountain he won't hate you as much." I hadn't thought of that, but what if he decides to go burn the papers before I get there? Though he seemed like a respectful man, and if we are going to be working together on this journey then he has to see me as an ally.

"Alright, might as well give it a try." He smiled and grabbed my hand dragging me along with him. "K-Kili wait!" He seemed more excited than I, as we passed each dwarf grimaced at the sight of me.

"Uncle!" Kili exclaimed catching Thorin's attention, he immediately separated our hands. Stepping infront of his nephew he pulled out his sword, pointing it at my neck.

"I suggest you put that thing away, wouldn't want a wizard and a Digonisk fighting you now do you? I have come to show you something, it might make this trip a whole lot easier." He didn't budge, reaching into my cloak I pulled out the same scroll Gandalf had brought me. Thorin slowly took it from my hands and undid the ribbon, his eyes widened in shock at his father's handwriting.

"How did you get this?" He looked back to me, he had hope that his father was alive.

"Gandalf gave it to me, it's the main reason I'm here." Thorin seemed to be more at ease with me in the room now. Did he actually believe his father's words?

"What does is say Thorin?" Balin asked coming closer, Thorin couldn't believe his eyes. Gradually he handed the scroll back to me, and all I saw was remorse in those blue orbs.

"It was written by my father, he says that in my grandfathers room the truth about her kind remain. The real reports about what happened that day in Hargen, if this is true then..." He couldn't finish his sentence, a thousand emotions appeared at once.

"This doesn't mean anything, it could be a lie. Those reports could show something different, but we still don't know if the evidence lies in the mountain." Dwalin interrupted, making the furious look on Thorin's face return. Well so much for that, Gandalf sighs in disappointment. Even he had hope that Thorin would be reasonable, I went to head back outside but Thorin grabs my arm.

"If your coming with us, then you have to sign the contract. I won't be responsible for your death, nor do I feel like dealing with a bunch of angry dragon slayers." Balin, kindly handed me a piece of paper, inside read the rules and what not. They would not be responsible for anything that happens to me, which was fine but if I were to die who would set my people free?

"I want to add something to this, if I am to go on this journey and I die. You must set my people free, get the reports from your grandfather's room and show everyone that my people are innocent. That is all I ask." He seemed shocked at my request, although I didn't want to trust him with this kind of task it was the only way my people would be safe after I'm gone.

"Get me a pen." He grumbled, using my magic I summoned an ethereal white feather. He watched as I wrote down my terms and signed it, then when I handed him the pen he couldn't help but stare at it. It glowed brightly in his hand, never had he seen something like this. After examining it he signed his name on the line, then handed the pen to Balin who signed it as a witness.

"Welcome, Queen Y/n to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." He smiled, that made me feel somewhat welcome. At least he has manners like Thorin's nephew, maybe all dwarves aren't so bad.

"Your welcome to stay inside, get as much sleep as you can. You'll need it for the journey ahead, I have a feeling we're going to be needing those wings of yours." Gandalf suggested but Kili and Fili perked up at his comment.

"Wings? She has wings?" Kili asked coming closer, taking off my cloak I spread them. "I didn't even realize the you could fly!"

"They look a lot smaller when folded, but yes I have wings. There easy to hide under a robe, and not very noticeable." He reached over to touch them, I flinched slightly as his fingers ran over the scales.

"May I?" Thorin asked with a light blush on his face, how could the king under the mountain have rosy cheeks? I nodded, watching him cautiously as he ran his hand over my skin. He let out a small smile as he stretched them farther to get a better look. "They're huge, how could they be so small when tucked away?" He muttered, but when he realized he was getting a little into this he stepped back. That stern look returning to his features. "Get some sleep." That was the last thing he said before walking away, at least he's somewhat warming up to me. I settled in the corner of the hobbit's house away from everyone else, surrounding myself with my wings to keep me warm. After a few minutes of silence, I heard voices again except this time it was the dwarves singing a song. "Far over the Misty Mountains cold. To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away ere break of day. To find our long-forgotten gold." Thorin's voice was most audible, and for some reason, it soothed me.

"The pines were roaring on the height, the winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light." I sang along, which made the dwarves silent. The song wasn't unknown to me, everyone outside of the shire knew the story of Erebor. After a moment they sang along after I joined, but softer than before. Maybe because they loved my voice? Or maybe my voice soothed Thorin and he wanted to hear more, as he reassured me.

@fili-is-my-lover @lunariasilver @kirenia15

#the hobbit kili #kili imagine #fili x oc #fili and kili #thorin x reader #thorin oakenshield smut #gandalf #the company #bilbo x reader #the hobbit x reader

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wastelandcth · 3 years ago

Text

Call if You Need Me - cth

part of nation of two

summary: We meet Petra and Calum. Two souls who keep running into each other. The beginning to a nation of two that brings Calum and Petra to realize how much they love the sun on one another.

author’s notes: Welcome back to Nation of Two! Thanks for your patience with this series! I’m very excited to be sharing this new version of it with you and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do!

warnings: Brief mentions of sex

masterlist || request || read it on AO3 || next part

When Calum first met Petra, his life seemed to look brighter. Days were warmer and the birds sang a little louder whenever he walked outside. It was as if everything used to be in black and white and Petra brought the color. It was as if some higher power above Calum brought him to a random park in LA and his life was forever changed. He'd never seen her before, which wasn't hard to do since LA was filled with people and the chance of seeing her again was minute.

Okay, maybe that was a lie. Calum had seen her before. It was like fate had been playing jokes on him.

The first time he'd seen Petra, he didn't even know her name. She'd been ahead of him at the grocery store. She'd been unloading her groceries onto the belt, colorful fruits, and vegetables that made Calum's basket seem dull in color, the cashier and her both chatting over a drink Petra had been excited to try. Calum had been watching, and listening, to her absentmindedly. He'd stopped by to grab a few snacks and drinks before the band's slot at the studio began.

Calum liked her smile. He liked how she was polite and didn't interrupt the cashier when she told her about the other flavors of the energy drink that Calum was making a mental note about getting next time around. He also liked, and he might've chuckled he doesn't remember now, Petra's reusable bags which were a mix of tote bags that had different patterns on them. His favorite had to be the canvas bag that had been stamped with a drawing of a corgi with an umbrella.

Calum had never been one to approach people he didn't know in public, especially pretty women who took his breath away, so it was no surprise when he watched Petra walk out of the grocery store with her bags as he waited for the cashier to finish ringing up his groceries. He wouldn't even know what to say if he had gone after her. He'd probably just make a fool of himself and end up with flushed cheeks at the studio as he thought back on the moment. So with his snacks and non energized drinks in a plastic bag, Calum made his way out of the grocery store, his eyes searching the parking lot in hopes of seeing the woman with the bright smile and colorful groceries.

The second time Calum saw Petra, he thought he'd imagined it. His hands were full with his laptop, journal, and the iced coffee he'd been nursing all morning in the way of him opening the door to the record shop he was meant to meet Ashton at. Looking helpless, Calum tried to figure out the best way to open the door, until his savior showed up from inside the store.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there," Petra laughed, her eyebrows raising as she noticed the confused look on Calum's face, "Hands full?"

"Huh?" Calum mumbled as he looked at her in somewhat awe, "Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you," he chuckled before stepping into the record shop, his head nodding at her.

"Don't worry about it, have a nice day! They have really good records today," she said and waved, giving him a bright smile before she continued on with her day.

Calum would've been lying if he said he hadn't felt his heart race and his palms sweat as he talked with her. It might've even been embarrassing if he thought too much about it, how a short and polite conversation between two strangers could rile him up this much. But with a deep breath and another sip of the now watered-down coffee, Calum walked around the store, trying to find Ashton and wondering if he'd ever see Petra again.

"Oh, it's you again. Are you sure you're not stalking me?" Petra's voice broke Calum out of his gaze, her laugh warming his skin as he tried his best not to blush.

Calum was used to his fans following his every move. He was used to them knowing where he was before he even knew and it had gotten to the point where he'd rarely want to leave the comfort of his home. But this was just strange. In the past two months, Calum had seen Petra a handful of times. Since their initial two meetings, Calum had spotted her at the same brunch spot that Michael had taken him to on a sunny Wednesday. He'd also seen her at the beach when he'd taken Duke after a stressful studio session. It seemed like everywhere Calum went, Petra had beat him to it. And even now, as he'd stopped at the flower shop down the street from the grocery store, Petra was strolling through the aisles of vases that Calum just so happened to walk into.

"It would seem that way, huh?" Calum said with a nervous chuckle, "Guess we just keep on meeting,"

"Some people would call that fate, you know?" Petra teased, her eyebrow-raising as she stuck her hand out for him to shake, "I'm Petra."

"Petra. Nice to meet you again," Calum laughed and took her hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze as she shook them, "I'm Calum."

"Yeah, I know," she mumbled, her eyes widening a bit, "Shit no, that sounded creepy. I just meant that-"

"Are you sure you're not the one who's stalking me?" Calum asked, no malice in his voice, and the smile he was trying to hide gave way to his teasing.

"Haha. I'm just a fan of your work. Who wouldn't be, you guys are changing the music scene," Petra nodded and shrugged, her addicting smile once again blessing Calum's presence.

"I appreciate that Petra, it means a lot," he nodded, "So you're buying flowers for someone special?"

Petra laughed at that, her eyes looking past him before making their way back to meet his. Calum felt the familiar warmth that spread over his body whenever he'd seen her in the past two months, the feeling that something was meant to happen. Calum couldn't deny that she was beautiful, besides her smile that always seems to be on his mind these days, Calum found himself looking over her as well. Watching the way her curls bounced on her shoulders and the way her sundress seemed to match the warm weather and warmth he felt inside.

"Uh, no. Can't a woman buy herself flowers something?" she asked, "Are you?"

"Can't a man buy himself some flowers?" Calum returned, his chuckle soft as he shrugged, "I guess I should go pay for these then. It was nice to properly meet you, Petra,"

"Calum," she said with a nod, "Have a nice day. Maybe fate will have us meet again," she teased and with a wave, she was walking back down the aisle.

And Calum really hoped that this time, fate would be on his side.

"Morning," Petra's soft voice broke Calum out of his early morning thoughts, "Have you been awake long?"

Calum's head turned to the side, the breath he'd been planning to let go of getting caught in his throat as his eyes landed on Petra. Her room was the perfect representation of who she was. The plants that adorned the window left the smell of rain in her room almost constantly. The soft covers that Calum found himself under the majority of the time he'd spent with her reminded him of clouds. But his favorite part of Petra's bedroom was the giant window next to her bed which let the sunlight filter in and land on her in the mornings. She always looked ethereal in the mornings, her soft skin glowing under the sun as her curls covered her eyes. It was Calum's favorite way to wake up, with Petra by his side, her soft breaths against his shoulder. He loved waking up next to her almost as much as he loved falling asleep next to her, watching how the moonlight illuminated her as her thoughts drifted from coherent to a mumbling of words.

"No, just a few minutes, how'd you sleep?" Calum mumbled, sleep still evident in his voice as he cleared his throat to try and chase it away.

"Extremely comfortable," she mumbled, her lips pressing a soft kiss onto his shoulder, "Slept next to the man I love, couldn't ask for anything better than that, huh?"

Calum's sleepy smile matched hers, his body turning onto its side so he could pull her close to his chest. It had been six months since Calum had bought her those flowers she'd been holding. Six months since he'd asked the cashier to slip the little white card with his phone number into the bouquet. Six months since Calum had picked up the phone on a sunny evening and listened to Petra tease him over the cheesy message he'd left her.

“Pretty flowers for a woman who deserves them, that’s pretty cheesy, don’t you think?” Petra had asked, her voice soft as Calum’s cheeks flushed. He’d been sitting on his couch, his hands sweaty as he tried to excuse the action but it didn’t matter, Petra had already fallen for him and his cheesiness, “You have a way with words, Calum.”

“Maybe I can make up for the cheesiness soon?” Calum asked, trying to keep his voice steady as he ran a hand through the curls that had been long for too long and ached to be cut, “Maybe I can take you out sometime soon?”

“I’d like that a lot,” Petra mumbled, hoping that Calum couldn’t hear her giddiness or the smile that was adorning her face, even over the phone, “Throwing fate into your own hands?”

“Of course, we have to do that at some point, don’t we?”

And after last night's confessions, when both were too lost in one another's bodies and lips to hold back their emotions for any longer, their night together went from a simple date to a confession of love. It was something that Calum had put off for so long in his life, something that he'd tried before and failed. Something that had broken him so badly he'd shut the world out for so long. But with Petra, loving her was nothing more than common sense. It was wanting her by his side and buying her pretty flowers whenever he passed by the flower shop. So when Petra whispered those three little words to him in between moans and kisses, Calum never hesitated to say them back because he'd known the truth for months. He loved Petra and she loved him.

And he couldn't ask for anything more. He loved Petra on her good days and on her bad days. He loved Petra when it was raining outside and her pout hid away the beautiful smile Calum had fallen for all those months ago. He loved her in the supermarket when they were the only people walking down the fluorescent-lit aisles in the late hours of the night. He loved her when they were in the darkness of his living room, talking into the morning lights about everything and nothing.

If you asked Petra, which her parents did a lot, she'd tell you the same things. That she loved Calum to the farthest galaxy and back. That the moon and the stars could never shine as bright as he did and that the sunlight on his golden-brown skin was something she could study daily. She loved Calum even if he preferred rainy days over the sunny ones she loved so much. Petra knew he'd been hurt before, that he'd hidden his heart behind a wall of ice and that it had taken a lot of time and working on himself to get to where they were. She knew that Calum could be like the bird his name was meant for, that he could get spooked and fly away at any moment. But Petra loved that even with all the fears and the doubts his mind gave him, he'd whispered how much he loved her the night before, his breathy moans in her ear as he confessed how he'd felt.

It was a sunny afternoon when Petra first saw Calum. He had his hands full and was struggling to open the door of the record shop that her friend had recently started working at. Petra had promised to stop by and maybe buy a few albums to boost her friend's sales for the day. She'd just finished checking out and was on her way out when she'd spotted him. She recognized him immediately, the pink pressed vinyl in her bag had his face on it, and so she opened the door for him. She liked his eyes, how they widened when he realized he wasn't going to have to drop his coffee or laptop on the ground in order to open the door. She liked the breathy laugh he gave her before walking into the store and the way her heart raced once she had walked back to her car and had a mini freak out over meeting one of her favorite artists. Had she regretted not saying anything else besides a joke? Of course, she had, she could've asked for a picture of even for him to sign the vinyl she'd just bought, but Petra had decided that if it was meant to be, she'd see him again.

"Oh, I don't know mom, it's weird! I've only seen him in passing! I've said maybe a handful of words to him and to make matters worse he's a famous musician who will probably never know my name," Petra huffed as she got back into her car after once again seeing Calum at the bookstore she visited every once in a while, "What if he thinks I'm just a crazy stalker fan?"

"Petra, darling, you're a beautiful young woman. He'd be a fool to those harsh things about you. Maybe you've already caught his eye and he's the one who's nervous to say anything to you." Petra's mother said over the phone, the evident noises of cooking in the background, "Next time you see him, you should talk to him. You can't get struck by lightning if you're not standing in the rain."

"Mom, that is the most terrifying metaphor you could've used. I hope you know that," Petra mumbled as she laid her head back against her headrest.

"I love you Petra, be safe," her mom chuckled, "Go dancing out in the rain for a change!"

Petra had known her mom meant well. She'd been living in LA for almost a year and she had yet to put herself out there. Sure, she had friends and her coworkers were always inviting her out to bar nights and social events. But Petra craved the attention of someone. She'd been single for years now and moving to LA had been a step towards changing that. She was meant to find herself and what she wanted to do with her life here. She knew meeting Calum in multiple places around this giant city hadn't been coincidences, she knew that fate had a funny way of playing with her and she was just supposed to take everything thrown at her with a grain of salt.

Petra smiled as she listened to Calum talk over the phone, he was chatting about the latest city the band was in. He'd been gone for a few weeks, living his life and playing shows every night. Sure, Petra missed him, she missed him like crazy every day whenever she woke up in an empty bed and when she ate breakfast alone. But she knew that Calum had missed being on stage and missed singing in front of a crowd. Even if that meant that Petra and Calum couldn't be together for a while, it'd be worth it.

"P, you there?" Calum asked, chuckling quietly, Petra could hear the smile in his voice, could see him leaning against the tour bus with that soft smile she loved so much, "Or did you disappear on me?"

"Sorry, yeah I'm here." Petra laughed quietly, "What were you saying?"

"I'm coming home, babe," Calum said happily, "We've got a break and I'm gonna fly out to spend time with you."

Calum was packing up his bag on the counter of her bathroom, the glass wall of her shower made him look like a blur. The warm water from the showerhead was hitting her body, soothing the aches from the night before as she listened to Calum talk about his most recent trip. Her eyes were closed as she massaged shampoo into her hair, but she could still picture Calum, his hands above his head, or playing an invisible bass as he told Petra about the moment he and the band knew they'd cracked the code on their latest single.

"So do I get a sneak peek of it?" Petra asked as she finished shampooing her hair, her eyes opening to meet Calum, who was standing next to the entrance of the shower.

"You wish," he laughed and shook her head, "Gotta wait until we have the master done, lovebug."

"Ugh, I thought dating one of your favorite musicians meant you got to listen to new music first?" she mumbled in fake annoyance, her hands moving to splash Calum with water.

"Oh you're gonna pay for that one," he laughed and before Petra knew it, Calum's arms were wrapped around hers and the water was splashing them both.

"You're supposed to be packing, dork. Can't leave if you don't have a suitcase packed," Petra mumbled against his lips, her thumb stroking his jawline.

"Stop revealing my plans, honey," he whispered and pulled her into another kiss, "You forgot an important part of my plan though."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be, Dove?" she asked quietly, the familiar nickname bringing a redness to Calum’s cheeks, and smiled as she followed a water drop that rolled down his forehead to his jaw. It rolled down slowly, almost as if it too was taking its time enjoying the feeling of Calum’s skin against it.

"You're coming with me. Taking you home with me this time."

taglist: @hoodhoran @moonlightcriess @mxgyver @calpops @karajaynetoday @notlukehemmo @calumrose @devilatmydoor @lowkeyflop @notinthesameguey @hemmo1996-5sosvevo @ashtonsunflower @2fangirl4u @multistann @wiiildflowerrr @himbohood @in-superbloom @ashtonsunflower @suchalonelysunflower @killmywildflower @sebsbrokentoe

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mooniefics · 4 years ago

Text

— insubordination

pairing : eren jaeger / fem reader

word count : 5.7k

tags : porn w plot, eventual smut, angst-ish

warnings : nfsw, non-con/extremely dub-con, impact play, descriptions of blood and injury, ooc eren being very mean

summary : you were nothing in his eyes, and he was nothing in yours. that's how it was meant to be, that's what commander hange had assumed when they assigned you such a simple role. but people are unpredictable, and sympathy for the wicked can make you do some pretty stupid things.

— originally posted 1 / 4 / 21 on ao3 —

this task was arguably your least favorite part of the day.

it was too quiet, eerily silent when you walked down the steps, and that one uneven brick always seemed to trip you up when you weren't looking out for it. balancing the dishes on the serving tray also wasn't the easiest, and it was all the more demeaning when he would be waiting for you by the bars, eyes as empty and uninterested as ever but still fixed on your every movement.

you were a soldier, not a waitress, and a part of you wondered why they didn't just make the marleyans do such a belittling task rather than force you to lower yourself down to such a level three times a day. but you knew it was because he'd be less hesitant to strangle the life out of any non-paradisian before he'd go after someone from the island, and you had enough self defense training to withstand any escape attempts he might make.

but eren jaeger seemed docile when he was in his cage, and that fact eased you just the slightest bit when you descended the stairs to his cell that day, toting a sandwich and a glass of water on the tray for him. you thankfully caught yourself before you tripped up on that uneven last step, breathing out a little sigh of relief about not having to deal with split food and broken dishes along with the humiliation of screwing up such an easy task. you didn't want to give him another reason to look down at you, another excuse to see you as even lesser than he already perceived you as.

he didn't seem to care much for a select few from his graduating class, and you seeing that you were trained with the 106th training corp, you hadn't had any sort of direct interactions with him until you were assigned to bring him his food for the day. at first, commander hange had insisted on doing it personally, but as the workload increased and the luxury of free time dwindled, the duty was passed onto you.

you had honestly been terrified when you first faced him, hoping that those bored yet sharp green eyes didn't catch the way your hand trembled when you fit the key into the lock, opening up the slot in the door that was just big enough to slide the tray and its contents across to him. he didn't say much, no hellos or thank yous exchanged, just a brief glance at your face and a muttered "you're new" as he took the tray to his bed and sat, silently eating his meal and sliding back the tray and empty dishes for you to take back up with you. and that was how it usually went, no fuss from either end, just a silence that was barely occupied by the scrapes of his utensils on the plate and the occasional clearing of his throat.

you expected another quiet interaction as you stepped across the old brick floor, keeping an impassive expression even after seeing that he was waiting for you at the bars, wearing nothing besides a pair of trousers that sat low on his hips. you ignored his uncharacteristically intent gaze, setting the tray down on the ground and fetching the ring of keys from your uniform, struggling to not let your eyes wander over him.

something felt different, an unusual feeling of trepidation that clung to you as you picked out the right key, unlocking the serving slot and slipping it back into your pocket. besides his evident lack of a shirt, there was nothing odd about today, nothing that should make you feel the agitation that was creeping up your spine. you swallowed down your nerves as you set the tray down like you always did, sliding it over onto his side of the bars. he always seemed much taller when he was up close like this, and even with his relaxed posture he still towered over you. his robust frame only served to make him more intimidating, muscles flexing beneath the pale skin littered with past scars. you didn't expect to feel the warmth of his fingers brushing over yours when he reached out to take the tray, suppressing the flinch that threatened to make you jump away from his contact, looking up to meet his steady gaze.

"thank you." he said, the slightest of smiles perking up at his lips at the sight of your surprised expression.

despite having the tray in his grasp, he didn't pull away from his place before you, drawing a few fingers down the side of your hand, not taking his eyes off of yours. you gave a gentle push of the tray, urging him to take it, not wanting to back down from what you assumed to be a test of your courage.

"hurry up and eat, jaeger. i don't have all day." you told him with much less authority than you would've hoped, but felt the smallest bit of pleasure from how he blinked at you, most likely not expecting you assertion.

"you know, you can call me eren."

that was the last thing he said before he let his gaze fall to the tray, warmth receding as he took his meal to his bed to eat. that was the most words you'd ever said to one another, arguably the most startling encounter you'd ever had as well. he seemed almost happy to see you, any show of emotion besides indifference was magnified by how rarely it appeared, but you reminded yourself that this was no reason to let your guard down. in fact, this was only more reason to keep a closer eye on him.

he could be planning something, you wouldn't put that kind of scheming past him, you'd heard the murmurs across your unit about how isolated his desires were from the greater good of humanity. he'd lashed out at his superiors as a cadet, he'd rebelled against the judgement of the former commander, fought the levi ackermann for selfish, narrow-minded reasons.

but, really, couldn't he escape whenever he wanted? freedom was just an injury away for him, he could shift into his titan form whenever he pleased and completely demolish the cell and everything above it, run off to see whatever corner of the world he wished to or murder whomever he had on his hit list. perhaps he was merely toying with you, the boredom of isolation driving him to tease the soldier who'd never once gotten the chance to see past the territory just outside the walls despite being a scout. you were surprised that he hadn't gone crazy from being locked up in a cell with just a bed, a sink, and a small barred window, not even a journal or a book for entertainment, although he was unhinged enough to have to be held here, so you assumed that it somehow balanced out in some odd way.

you told yourself to just take a deep breath as you stood by and waited for him to finish his meal, chalking up his behavior to him being an eccentric man with an endless amount of free time in his hands. he didn't speak any more when he passed back the tray and dishes, only offering another faint smile that didn't quite meet his eyes before returning to his bed, allowing you to latch the lock once more and make your quick exit up the stairs, thankfully out of his sight and not dropping anything when you tripped up on that uneven step.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"eat with me."

he didn't react to your incredulous look from behind the bars, steady stare staying trained on your face, fingers brushing just over your hand. it took you a moment to find your voice. "no."

"why not?" he replied easily, either entirely unaware of his aloofness or intentionally putting up the front of detached confusion.

"you're in there for a reason, eren." you said, giving a gentle push forward to the tray, "now eat."

it had been just over a week since your first conversation, he'd made no attempt to initiate another in the following days until just now. but he wasn't showing the hint of contentment he'd allowed to peek through on his features the last time, just the cool, uncaring demeanor that you'd become accustomed to as he delivered such a ridiculous request.

"i don't want to eat alone." he persisted, punctuating the sentence with his own nudge of the tray back to you, "what could i do? even if i tried to escape, the guards outside would catch me before i made it far." there were no guards outside, but you didn't tell him that. "you'll have wait on me to finish anyways."

you didn't reply back, not wanting to speak and risk him hearing your voice wobble, or let a nervous stutter slip. you found it strange how his displays of humanity were more startling than when he lacked them, the image of his more mechanical self that you'd grown used to, the one that you were alright with leaving in a cell alone for days, being shattered by the slight smiles, the naivety that came in him even thinking that you would comply with his desires.

"i could stand away from the door if it'd make you feel better, you don't even have to sit next to me. i just.." he turned away, lips turning down in an almost sheepish frown. "i just want to feel like someone is in the room with me."

you were almost afraid of this new emotion from him, having to force your brow to not knit into an expression of surprise and your mouth to not fall open at this incredibly unfamiliar territory. you felt that you were good at reading people, good enough to sniff out most false claims and facades that were put up by the people you were close with, but you weren't close with him, not in the least. all you knew of him was his name, his designation, his special abilities, and that he seemed to like soup the best, considering that he always finished the fastest on the days you brought it down for him. how convenient that you had a bowl for him today, alongside a small loaf of bread and the usual glass of water. but looking over his face, you couldn't help but feel your resolve crack just the slightest bit at the sight of him.

it made sense that he was getting lonely down here, the only people that were allowed to speak to him were you and the commander, and seeing that no one had gotten reamed for making an unauthorized visit, you were sure that the small group he was acquainted with weren't sneaking out to give him some company. and there seemed to be genuine emotion gleaming in his usually dull eyes, cheeks and ears flushed with a soft red that warmed his features, a kind of reaction that you found to be hard to fake. you didn't exactly lose sleep over his imprisonment, but you weren't a monster, you didn't discount the mental toll that this kind of solitude could have on a person.

"move away from the door."

the words slipped out of you before you had a chance to think about them anymore, slightly eased by the fact that he actually followed your order and stepped back as far as he could. you picked the ring of keys out of your pocket, finding the one that unlocked the door to his cell and slowly pressing it into the keyhole, letting out a small breath of alarm when you heard the inner mechanisms unlatch.

you couldn't help the way your eyes darted over to him, half expecting him to come running to shove past you and make a mad dash out of the barracks. but he stayed right where he was, not moving even as you pushed open the door and stepped in, trying not to turn your back to him for too long as you eased it shut and tucked the keys back into your pocket, taking his tray and setting it at the foot of his bed like he always did before returning to your place at the door, giving a small nod to let him know he could move.

he was relaxed as ever, nearly smiling to himself as he took a seat, as opposed to you, who's back was stiffened into the straightest your posture had been in weeks, clenched hands that were becoming clammy with sweat. you knew exactly why you were getting so worked up over being on the other side of the bars that had giving you that sense of security now only giving you the sense of being caged in with someone who was really more of a stranger to you than anything. but he seemed more than pleased to have you in his vicinity, and the look on his face eased the chill rattling up your back, threatening to make you look more like a cornered animal more than a stoic soldier.

he was halfway through his soup when he reached for the bread, raising it to his lips to take a bite before he stopped, glancing over to you with a sudden intrigue. you watched as he broke it in two, not minding the crumbs that fell down onto his shirt and lap, holding the larger looking piece out to you. "here. it wouldn't be fair if you just had stand there and watch me enjoy my meal."

if your eyes widened in surprise, he didn't react to it, only adding a slight wave to his outstretched offering. you forced your foot forward, nervous to approach him but wanting to accept what felt like a sort of peace offering, a wordless assurance that he meant well. for the first time, his mouth drew back into a smile, a full, genuine, almost charming smile when you took the bread, hoping he didn't catch the way your fingers trembled as you stood there, unsure of whether to focus on the warmth of his gesture or taking a bite like he seemed to be expectantly waiting for you to do.

you didn't realize how dry your mouth was until you bit off a small chunk, chewing much longer than you usually did before you swallowed it down, not tasting anything but feeling your heart skip at the sight of his happiness. you retreated to your place at the door, finishing off the bread, watching him quickly wrap up his own meal and get everything back in order on the tray. he didn't usually do that either.

you felt an uncomfortable squeeze in your chest when he stood, gathering the tray in his hands and walking up to you with slow steps. he made sure to keep a good distance away from you, probably not wanting to give you any reason to be anymore afraid that you already were. you took the tray when he held it out to you, and he stayed holding onto it with you just a moment longer than he needed to, gleaming eyes wandering over your face in that little bit of time before he released his grasp, stepping back to where he originally had when you first entered and mimicking your small nod to tell you it was alright to go.

you couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips, a shy, nervous little close-lipped smile that came with the blush darkening on your cheeks, nudging open the cell door with your foot and exiting without a problem. and as you fished the key ring out of your pocket and found the right one to slide into the keyhole, he took a seat at the foot of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, gazing up at you as you secured the lock back into place.

"thank you."

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you found yourself going into his cell a lot more often than you probably should've.

the first couple days you stood at your place by the unlocked door, seeing how with each passing day you exchanged more and more words, the conversations becoming less stiff and hesitant. you only went in at lunch, since in the morning there were a lot more people milling about after breakfast, and in the evening the guards that stood outside by the stairs actually came to ensure he didn't get out during the night. the afternoon was the only time where everyone had already gone to their designated workstations, and besides the stray person or two that happened to pass by during that time, no one was around to catch your massive insubordination of orders.

you'd eventually began to sit at the foot of the bed, the tray putting a comfortable distance between the two of you as you chatted. he would offer you bites of his sandwich, or a piece of his bread like he did the first time you shared a meal, always giving you a little something despite your insistence that he kept it for himself, saying that "it would be unfair to starve his guest". speaking casually was surprisingly easy, passing stories of your training days and your initial struggles with omni-directional movement gear back and forth, letting him tell you about his time across the ocean and appreciating how intently he listened to you lamenting about the severe lack of exposure you had to the world outside the walls.

you couldn't admit it to anyone else, but you had begun to grow fond of him. the initial expression of cool apathy completely melted away when you were with him, the features of his face which you had initially found stern becoming somewhat handsome when he was giving those little smiles, a breath of a chuckle when you said something he found funny, or the focused expression he would take on when he nodded along to the stories from your childhood you had to offer. perhaps under different circumstances, you might've even wanted to see if things could go further than easy banter between two friends, biting your tongue when you thought about slipping in something about how he could be your guide when you could finally go out and see the world.

there was no way they would keep him in here forever, the effort to cover new ground and widen the army's frontiers was going swimmingly from the looks of it, so maybe there'd be a day in the future where you could walk about with him, away from the brick of his cell and without the bars separating you. that thought had been especially nice to think about as you sat on your calves across from him on the bed, your half of today's bread nearly gone as you listened to him talk about what he would get up to when he was a child, running around his hometown by himself and trying to sneak into taverns to catch a peek at the barmaidens.

"you know, there was this one particular girl that i remember being head over heels for," he mused, pausing to lick the bit of soup that had swiped across his lips from his last spoonful, "one time she came to my home for my father to check out her arm, said she'd gotten grabbed by one of the more unsavory characters that hung around those bars. i was so angry i almost went out looking for him myself."

you giggled a bit at the mental image, a wide-eyed little boy with the big dream of saving his childhood crush from the evil world. "isn't that sweet?" you quipped with a smile, quickly eating the last bite of bread in your hand and dusting off the crumbs onto the floor, "what'd she look like? she had to be beautiful to catch your eye." you tried not to let your disappointment in letting that slip show as you waited for his reply, mentally noting to have a bit more verbal control the next time.

"well, she actually kind of looked like you."

you felt your face pink at that, trying not to show your embarrassment as you cleared your throat. "r-really?" that was all you could manage, only feeling even more flustered by the slight grin he gave.

"really. you're obviously not identical, but there are a couple of things that remind me of her when i look at you." he shifted his position a bit, the space between you narrowing as he leaned over the tray to get a better look at your face. "your eyes look like hers, a different color, but the same shape. and you have the same freckle right here."

he pointed to the place on your face, finger inches away from you but still the closest you'd ever been to touching aside from the light brushes of your hands when you passed the tray to one another. "and now that i'm really looking, you both kind of have the same hair."

he was much closer than before, both of your knees at either end of the tray because of how it'd been pushed, realizing that you yourself had been unconsciously leaning forward. the warmth of his hand brushing across your cheek was a bit startling but definitely not unwelcome, thumb catching a stray lock of hair to tuck behind your ear.

"yeah.. you do." he murmured quietly, but you were more than close enough to hear it, able to pick out the brighter flecks in his brilliantly green irises, feeling his soft exhales fanning across your lips.

you couldn't believe you had let this happen, let yourself end up like this with the man you were supposed to just bring food to and guard from a distance, but at the same time you couldn't pull away, couldn't force yourself to part from the now low-lidded eyes gazing at you with such an unreadable depth, just barely obstructed by the hair that had slipped out of the messy style he had it drawn up in today, full lips parted and just a breath away from pressing onto your own. and so you let your eyes fall shut, feeling his hand slip further into your hair, fingers working deeper into it like they were meant to be there. but instead of a kiss, you felt his grasp in your hair suddenly tighten, barely able to let out a small gasp of pain before he drew your head to the side and smashed it into the brick wall next to you.

pain exploded across your skull, white spots blotting out your vision when your eyes flew open, unable to hold yourself up when he threw you down on the bed, already feeling the warmth of blood seeping out of the broken skin. you could faintly hear the clatter of metal and the smash of porcelain on the floor when he kicked the tray to the ground through the ringing in your ears. your first attempt to speak came out as almost a wheeze, mouth numb with shock as you tried to force your leadened limbs to move, writhing uselessly as he began to wrestle off the belt of your jacket, flipping you onto your stomach as soon as it came undone and ripping the jacket off of you with one strong pull to the collar.

"hel—help !" you wailed almost incoherently into the empty hall, knowing for a fact that no one was there but hoping there was somebody, anybody that could possibly be wandering past the building outside would come to save you.

all your combat experience meant nothing now that he had you sprawled out under him, straddling you as he tied your hands behind your back with your own belt, laughing coldly at every half-hearted squirm and small sob that left you. the wound on your head sent an unbearable ache through your entire body, beginning at your temple and searing through every nerve, each rough jostle from the body on top of you only adding to the pain.

"thank you for being such a kind guard," he drawled, audibly shaking your jacket to figure out which pocket the keys were in, "you really are great company, and such a sight for sore eyes."

your spotty vision was only further obscured by the tears that were now dripping onto the sheets. "p-please, d-don't hurt me..!" you cried, seeing him toss the jacket down on the floor, most likely having pocketed the keys for himself. he hauled your hips up by the waistline of your trousers, seeming to take joy in the way you whimpered at the strain you felt in your arms.

"do you really think you're in the place to make demands?" his voice was dripping with arrogance, breath hot on the back of your neck as he spoke into your ear, "the one who was stupid enough to fall for such a simple trick? the way i see it, it's almost like you were asking for this to happen."

you furiously shook your head at that, ignoring the way each thrash sent an ache echoing through your skull, teeth clenched in pain as you tried to force the words out. "n-no.. please, n-n-no—"

he didn't care much for your frantic tears or stammered pleas, already tugging your pants and underwear down around your trembling legs. "but you're worth a few moments of my time, all stupidity set aside. you really do look like that lovely barmaiden from my hometown." he paused to grab at the soft flesh of your exposed thighs, spreading you open as far as your position allowed it to, revealing the wetness of your involuntary excitement. "and look at that, already all nice and wet, just for me."

another pained sound escaped when he firmly grabbed your hair again, keeping the side of your face pressed into the bed, barely allowing you to hear him undo the zip of his pants and the ruffle of him pushing them down. he thrust into you without warning, drawing a hoarse whine from the burn of the sudden intrusion, eyes squeezed shut and lips parted to try and steady your strained, uneven breaths.

"relax, relax." he demanded, nearly growling as the heel of his palm pressing down on the back of your neck.

it wasn't as if this was your first time, but the people that you'd been with before we're always gentle with you, patient, asking infrequent but sincere "are you ok"s and "you're ok, right"s that quelled any unease about being in such a vulnerable position. but the hazy calm you'd had begun to associate with sex was completely absent in this moment, the empty space instead filled with the hiccuped sobs that refused to stay down in your chest, the throb of your bleeding scalp that was only worsened by his large hand grasping a fistful of your hair, beginning to clump with sticky red blood that was just starting to soak into the white sheets of the bed. you couldn't understand why that fear that was permeating through you, the peril that gripped your racing heart so relentlessly, the thought of not knowing whether you could assure your survival or not was only making you more and more excited for him.

he had taken up an unforgiving pace, driving small, broken moans from your lips, tense muscles gradually relaxing to accommodate all of him. it was wrong, you should've been fighting right now, keeping up your screams for help, anything to prove to yourself that you wanted to escape, but you found that it felt so terrifyingly good to give up under him.

"eren.." you barely managed to enunciate his name before your words devolved into more breathless whines, pins and needles pricking at your now numbing fingers that were losing circulation from your bindings.

"fucking pathetic," he spat, free hand moving to abuse your clit with rough, uncoordinated rubs, "you're just fucking begging for it, aren't you?"

he punctuated each abrasive word with a deeper thrust into you, dragging you over the edge before you even had the chance to realize how close you were to cumming. you cried out at the heat tearing through every inch of your sore flesh, nails digging into your palms as you slumped back against him, saliva dripping out of your open mouth and onto the bed.

the emptiness of him pulling out of you made you whimper, more strained sounds of protest escaping your throat as he flipped you onto your back, struggling to find a bearable position with the way your hands pressed uncomfortably into your spine. for the first time you were able to see the wild look in his eyes, his lips drawn back into more of a snarl that bared his teeth rather than a smile, even more of his long, dark hair having fallen from his hair tie. you could hardly take in the finer details of his image, the symptoms of the concussion you likely had already settling in around the edges of your vision, remaining sight starting to flicker out into darkness.

"wake up. hey." the sight of his hand rearing back and the sharp sting of its impact on your cheek were disconnected but registered all the same, forcing a pained groan out of you as you blinked up at him, trying desperately to dispel the black specks pulsing across your vision as you recovered from the jerk of your head being knocked to the side.

you could already feel the redness forming on the skin of your face, the rough hands that had just started tugging at your shirt impatiently tearing it halfway open, sending buttons flying off in every direction as he grinned down at you.

"you really threw a wrench into this whole plan of mine." he forced down a few chuckles, wiping some of your blood on his fingers off on your ruined shirt, "i should be making my way to the east exit right now, but all i can think right about it seeing that pretty fucking face you're gonna make when i make you cum again."

his fingers dug into the pliant flesh of your thighs, wrapping them around his waist as he pushed himself right back into you, clearly relishing in the way you whimpered out baseless pleas and curses. your legs squeezed around him instinctually, hips bucking up to meet his despite the small whisper in the back of your mind still begging for you to maintain a shred of dignity and push him away.

he kissed messily at the base of your neck, barely able to maintain the mimicry of intimacy for more than a few seconds before he was biting at the exposed skin, sometimes only just brushing his teeth over it but sometimes hard enough to print them into the bruising flesh. you could barely hold your eyes open enough to see the cracked ceiling above you, feeling the heat of his breaths over your shoulder and the audible clap of his skin meeting yours with every rough thrust. you chose to focus on the familiar pressure welling deep in your stomach, letting your eyes roll back into your head and your shaking legs squeeze tighter around him, only acknowledging his teeth breaking your skin with a whine in favor of just letting yourself hit that impossibly high peak once again.

he growled out a low string of curses into your neck, movements becoming less coordinated and even rougher as you came around him for his second time, not having enough lucidity to be ashamed of how easily release came. he continued even as your legs became heavy in his grasp, writhing and crying out dissipating into the occasional twitch, barely able to register the end of the entire exchange until you felt the liquid heat spilling into you. it only halfway made up for the lack of his cock in you as he pulled away, not bothering to try and bring you back to consciousness while he shoved himself back into his pants.

you roused on your own just a few moments later, gasping in quick little breaths and rolling yourself onto your side so you didn't crush your numb hands and wrists anymore than you already had, blinking away the blur of tears and the spottiness of passing out as you craned your neck to look up at him, wincing when you drew an injured area of skin taut. you just caught him tugging on your jacket, which had always fitted you loosely and was now fitting him snugly, his face flushed but having returned to his usual cool, impassive demeanor. but when he turned to look down at you, you could see a flicker of pride cross his features, the slightest smirk playing on his lips.

he said nothing as he walked right out of his cell, shutting the metal door and locking it behind him, the sound of his footfalls growing fainter down the hall and disappearing entirely as he ascended the steps. you would guess that it took around an hour for someone to come down and find you. by then, the slow stream of blood had slowed and clotted, and the belt around your wrists had loosened enough to allow adequate blood flow but still too tight for you to wriggle out of in your weakened state. you were sure that you looked pretty worse for wear; half naked, covered in injuries of varying severity, messy with a mix of blood, spit, tears, and cum.

but instead of thanking your lucky stars that you didn't have to spend the whole night trapped down there, you simply let your heavy eyes fall back shut as the soldier, a boy your age that you didn't know well but had gone out on a few mission with, promised to come back with a spare key and take you to the infirmary before running out in a panic. you didn't know whether you wanted eren jaeger to successfully make it out or be apprehended and sent right back here after they'd cleaned you up. would they interrogate him about how he escaped? would he tell them about you and the role you played in it?

after all was said and done, the only thing you were entirely sure about was that you'd probably never be allowed to go near him or participate in any assignments involving him ever again. and even after everything, a part of you just didn't want to believe that this was the end for the two of you.

#eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger x you #eren yeager #eren yeager x you #eren yeager x reader #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x reader smut #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x reader smut #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #m.nsfw

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kozutenshi · 4 years ago

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"neh, tooru." he tilted his head to the side, looking at your figure arranging the pillows in your small makeshift house.

"i'll definitely marry you when we're older."

he chuckled at your sudden outburst, not coping with what you said. "what do you even mean by that?"

"well, marriage.. isn't that what happens when two people want to stay together in each other's side forever?" your unsure and confused expression made him laugh harder. the pout on your lips made him stop, patting your cheek with a soft smile on his face.

"well then, i guess i'm gonna have to get a ring ready."

BALAY BALAY

— "bahay-bahayan" in Filipino!

— a game played my two or more wherein the kids would act like a real family doing what a family does normally. literally in simple terms, playing house.

— used to play this with my cousin, two other friends, and my childhood friend. yes, my childhood friend was the dad and i was the mom.

sometimes, you wonder which events made things turn out to be how they currently were.

seasons change, and your years of stay in this world had been growing. the amount of times you told a lie or two, the amount of times you cried, laughed, burst out of anger; collectively, this was what our life was.

oikawa thinks the same way too.

the young man sat on the park bench, looking out to the beach of brazil. he should be in argentina right now, practicing the sport he loves, but ever since he got the mail, it was as if a part of him felt too empty to function. his team gave him a week off, and he found himself going back to brazil reminiscing.

he thumbed the gold letterings, almost wishing the letter came with your scent instead of the roses that made the contents painfully obvious.

of course he had opened it, the seal already broken enough to know that he had opened it several times. taking a deep breath, he held his tears back.

how did it come to this?

on the other side of the world, you waited for his answer, the man you stuck with since children. it had been days since the mail was reportedly received. you were nervous, gulping down a lump on your throat to his lack of response. warm arms wrapped you from behind, kissing your temple. "hasn't he replied yet?"

his hand took yours, playing with the ring he gave you and drawing slow therapeutic circles on your skin. you smiled sadly at your fiancee, before shaking your head and melting into his arms. "nope. aren't you supposed to be at work?" he chuckled sheepishly before picking up his things and kissing you tenderly. "yeah. i'm off now. i'm sure he's just preoccupied so don't stress yourself over his response, yeah?" you nodded, sending him off with a loving smile which he returned.

as the door closed, your eyes went back to the laptop screen, begrudgingly thinking of your work before sitting down and continuing it. you didn't know what time it was when you finished, but it was probably an hour or two already when the doorbell rang.

lazily, you stood up and opened the door to find oikawa standing at your doorstep. "yo, n/n-chan." your eyes showed your shock and your body froze, before you relaxed and chuckled. "yikes, i'm hallucinating," you muttered under your breath before closing the door in his face.

"you know.. i'm flattered that you think of me that much that i can be a hallucination.. but for real, i'm 100% human, no alien stuff here."

the "I can't believe you're here" face you had made him chuckle, opening his arms for you to fall into. your scent was familiar, your warmth, your smile, until you dissolved into sobs. frantically, he moved away from you and wiped the tears off tenderly with shaky hands. "what? why are you crying?!"

"tooru! why weren't responding to me?" he chuckled nervously, knowing full well that telling the real reason will complicate things. "i wasn't sure what to answer just yet so i decided to discuss the matter with my coaches first. sorry, n/n-chan. now, can you stop crying, princess?"

it was painful to lie to you, but if it is for what's better, then he'd do it. "don't call me that." you urge yourself to move away and invite him into your apartment shared with your fiance. his eyes scanned the loft, noting the things that mirrored your personality on every shelf, every wall.

"how long have you been here in japan?"

"this is my third day. i'll go back tomorrow."

"ah, i see. then shall we spend the day together?"

"yeah. i did meet the three guys yesterday. it's your turn."

you placed the bowl of chips in front of him, urging to eat while he raised his eyebrows in question. "why didn't you invite me?"

"better question. why are you eating chips this early?" you shrugged, shoving a piece or two into your mouth. "it's not that early. it's like, almost noon."

he rolled his eyes and started eating. the silence stretched on but it was comforting. his eyes raked on your figure, how you were still the same, but different. as if a part of you stayed, the other changed.

"oh yeah. i have to go to that volleyball thing to help takeru with his plays. wanna come with?"

"takeru, as in my nephew?"

"yeah, who else?"

"there are tons of takeru's in this country, y'know."

you shrugged. "well you have no choice. you're coming with. say cheese to the camera. i'll tell my fiancee about you suddenly being here." raising your phone, you snapped a photo to your fiance, telling him you'll spend the day with tooru which he agreed with a "take care" message.

oikawa watched your lips curve to a smile, the same one he fell in love with, only to realize it wasn't for him. was he hurt? no.

numb. that's what he was.

the two of you passed by your previous school, onto the training grounds reminiscing stories after stories. with a pouting takeru, the three of you watched the smaller children train, a fond smile on your face. a small little girl stumbled to you with tears. "mama?"

oikawa saw how petrified you looked for a second before you sat down and tried to ease her. he then recalled how the two of you used to play, hand in hand, eyes to eyes. he sat beside you, patting the head of the child lightly which she seemed to like.

you watched how he calmed her with no words, and how she went from crying to laughing in minutes. a fond smile was on your face when the mother came over and took the child.

"you two look good together. thank you so much for taking care of her."

"thank you but we aren't-"

"thank you. it was no problem ma'am!"

he waved a hand to the child who smiled at him and waved back. his smile was a genuine warm one, his eyes holding adoration, before they shifted to you. "what are you staring at, n/n-chan?"

you shook your head. "i just wondered where you got your skills in calming down a child until i remember takeru."

"I didn't learn it from taking care of him, y'know." confused, you looked at him, his eyes looking somewhere far. "i learned it from you." he stood up, stretching and looked down on your sitting figure.

"c'mon n/n-chan. before they remember who i am-"

"excuse me. you're oikawa tooru, right?"

a highschool girl shyly stood with her group of friends, their phones clutched to their chests. somehow this reminded you of the days when he was innocently playing volleyball with iwaizumi, until a bunch of girls came from the vending machines, clutching boxes of milk in different flavors, some holding milk bread in their hands. you deadpanned when you realize they were holding out their phones for you to take their picture.

"tooru. you better treat me food after this, okay?" he knew your look. the one that made him gulp and feel threatened. "yes, of course, n/n-chan."

and so he did, and before you know it, it was getting dark. the two of you were in the apartment, the credits rolling just like every other times the two of you bonded.

"today was fun."

it's always fun with you. "sure was."

now, unlike before, the silence was deafening. "have you ever wondered.. how things would've worked out if you did something different in the past?"

your question caught him off guard and he tensed up before he suck into the couch. "not really." a lie.

"it might weigh down on me too much if i did."

your chuckle came sad, a hint of pain under it. "i see." now the atmosphere was too quiet. the movie has rolled its credits, the TV flashing a selection of movies again.

painful. it was painfully obvious that something is wrong and you couldn't help but want to cry.

"do you.. remember-"

"will you come?"

your voice was unsure, shaky, loud, when you looked at him with tears in your eyes. "you will, right?" his heart cracked. he knew this would happen already. he flashed a soft smile before taking you in his arms.

"of course i will. it's the wedding of my favorite n/n-chan after all. besides, you know i.."

he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his thumb wiping your tears gently. there was something lonely about his movements, the way he caressed you, as if saying 'this is the last time', or maybe a temporary goodbye. he held you closer, his warmth enveloping you.

"i will always be there."

TRAVELLERS: @doodleniella @kenmakodzu @lyzzklm @mfcassandra @oikaw-ugh @seijohlogy @thesecondapplepienation

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one-boring-person · 4 years ago

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Only Traitors Consort With The Damned. (Part Two.)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: blood imagery, injury, mention of death.

Context: The reader helps out Paul with his little problem, and tries to figure out what another Hunter is doing in Santa Carla.

A/N: I know there has been quite a gap between this and the last part, but I think I'm gonna try and get a new part out every Sunday, so that I have time for requests, school work and other fics. I apologise if this is a bit short 💛💛

Masterlist.

Yet another strangled whine of pain escapes the shirtless vampire propped against the fountain before me, his slick blood already coating my hands generously after only five minutes of working the barbed splinters of wood from his muscular abdomen, the tweezers slipping in my grasp as I pull at one of the more deeply lodged pieces. Dimly, I am aware of the others watching me work, Marko biting his thumb so hard the skin has probaby broken by now, Dwayne silently eyeing my every move from his position beside David, whose face is etched with anger and frustration. Thankfully, I'm pretty sure there aren't that many left, maybe one or two, meaning that the vampire's discomfort should soon be over, something which I can tell will be gratefully appreciated.

Finally, the splinter I'm working at comes free, drawing yet another hiss of pain from Paul, whose head falls back against the fountain with a thud, blue eyes squeezed tightly shut as the wound starts to stitch itself closed, his natural healing ability kicking in pretty quickly. I drop the piece if wood on the floor beside me and wipe the tweezers clean on my shirt, seeing as it is already covered in blood, trying to pat away some of the crimson substance from the vampire's skin as I go, locating the next couple of places I need to pick clean. Biting my lip, I place a hand beside the wound and use two fingers to gently pry it apart, inserting the tweezers as I find the end of the splinter, clamping down on it even as Paul moans again, blood oozing out of the incision as I start to pull. This one eases out pretty smoothly, leaving only one more that needs removing, one which is right beside where his heart is.

"One more." I reassure him, cleaning the tweezers again before leaning forwards and inserting them into the hole in his skin, trying not to prod around too much as I search for the offending splinter, swiftly locating it and going to try and pull it out. Instantly, the tweezers slip off, the small piece of wooden shrapnel barbed and stuck in the flesh, meaning it'll be much harder to remove. Gritting my teeth, I carefully pull the hole open further, trying not to wince as Paul's hand instinctively comes up to grip my wrist, nearly crushing the bones there as he tries to get me to stop, his grasp only tightening as I finally manage to yank it free, one last cry of agony escaping him as he relaxes back against the fountain, nearly sobbing in relief. Sitting back on my heels, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, shaking my hair from my face as I wipe my hands on my shirt, slowly standing up from my kneeling position.

"All done, they should heal now." I say to him, turning to the others with a grim smile, knowing that my appearance is not the most impressive, what with my hands being covered in blood and all.

"Thank you, (Y/n). I don't honestly know what we would've done." Dwayne thanks me, smiling gratefully to me as he goes to help Paul up, Marlo going to aid him in that as the tall vampire continues to whine to himself.

"I don't know, pulling splinters out with tweezers is not the most technical thing in the world, is it?" I point out, watching as they help Paul to his feet and over to a sofa, where they give him back his shirt and jacket.

"No, but still. You didn't need to help us, so thank you." David speaks up, looking at me in earnest as he adjusts his gloves, body still tense.

"It's no problem, just don't tell my boss." I reply, grimacing at the last part, being able to imagine his face if he found out already.

"We won't." The platinum blonde smirks, lifting an eyebrow at me, well aware that what I'm doing could get me hunted to my death if I was ever caught.

Smiling at him, I look to the entrance of the cave, noting the lightness of the sky outside with a sigh, knowing I'll have to return home now, so I can deal with the Hunter tied to my floor. The vampires seem to realise this, too, all of them quickly saying goodbye as I make my excuses, leaving the cave with the tweezers slipped into my pocket, my jacket pulled tightly around me as I start the long walk home, thinking up a story to tell the man in question. It shouldn't be too hard - I can make something up about him being attacked, and then found by me a little while later, somehow left alive by the vampire. I iron out all the details as I trek through the forest, enjoying the slightly cooler temperature of the early morning, glad now that I live in a more natural area, rather than the lousy motel I was required to stay in before. With my head in the clouds, it doesn't take me as long as I thought it would to reach the ramshackle shed, the sounds of someone calling out from inside already audible from my position behind the tree line to its left. The Hunter must be awake.

Sighing, I go over to the door and unlock it, swiftly finding the Hunter on the floor when I've done so, his rugged face twisted into a scowl of annoyance, only for it to turn into an expression of confusion as he takes in my appearance, his legs pulled up to his chest in a defensive gesture, ready to kick out at me if I provoke him to do so.

"Thank God you're awake! I thought you might've passed in your sleep!" I sigh out, starting the charade immediately, smiling at him as I close the door behind me, making sure to show him the insignia on my shoulder as I turn.

"Who are you? How did I get here? And why the hell am I chained to the floor?" He growls out, clearly not too pleased with the situation. I frown at his reaction, as if annoyed that he's rejecting my "hospitality".

"I'm (Y/n), an SRS Hunter like you, and I dragged you here after you got attacked by vampires in the dunes. You're chained to the floor because I don't trust you not to steal from me and then run off." I inform him, going to the table and replacing the tweezers, "Now, you'd better not prove to be like that anyway, or I'll report you to a superior officer, and we all know how that will end. You should be thanking me, I saved your life after all."

At this, he looks up at me in surprise, sitting forwards slightly as I bend to untie him, rubbing his wrists gently as he climbs back to his feet, revealing his height to me - he stands a good head above me. Smiling tightly, I offer him my hand, only to realise it's covered in blood, swiftly withdrawing it with a soft apology.

"Why are you so...bloodied?" The Hunter asks me, watching as I go to the bucket of water in the corner, rinsing my hands and arms in the icy depths, "I'm Archer, by the way."

"I spent the rest of the night chasing down your attackers. I got them in the end, but they put up one hell of a fight." I explain, lying through my teeth as I straighten again, drying my hands on a cloth nearby, "Do you mind just stepping out as I change?"

With a nod, he leaves the shack, going to stand outside as I hastily remove my filthy shirt and trousers, replacing them with clean ones as I grab my jacket again, inspecting the damage, noting that it isn't too bad overall. Relacing my boots back up, I take a cereal bar from the small cupboard in the corner and go out to see if Archer is still there, glad to find him sitting on the log outside. As I exit, he looks over to me, watching as I walk over to where he is, smiling and thanking me as he accepts the cereal bar from me, carefully unwrapping it and eating it.

"So tell me, why did you come to Santa Carla?" I break the silence, looking over at him as he shrugs.

"I was told to by one of the superiors, someone called Elijah, I think. He said he wanted someone to come and check on the Hunter over here." He chews his food before continuing, "At least now I know who that Hunter is."

"Yeah, I guess." I muse, troubled by his words. Elijah is an old friend, I never knew he'd become a superior whilst I was away. But the fact that he wants to check on me? That doesn't bode too well for me.

"I just got a bit caught up with some vampires that were on that attraction thing, the Broadwalk or something." Archer says, finishing up the food.

"The Boardwalk." I correct him, smirking a bit at his attitude, finding him quite pleasant to be around, "You think you're gonna stay?"

"Nah, I don't like it here. It's too small and weird for me. I'll go back to New Orleans and say you're doing fine, I reckon they'll be ok with that." He assures me, looking around at the surroundings.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Do you want me to show you back into town?" I offer, eating my own cereal bar quickly, standing and going to the door of the shack, closing it and drawing the chain across in order to lock it.

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

Smiling, I gesture for him to follow me, leading him the quickest way possible back into town, glad that he's not looking into my residence too much.

A week passes before I receive the one thing I've been dreading, Archer's recount of events apparently not quite satisfactory.

A letter from the SRS, announcing the date of a visit from a senior officer, the situation here apparently needing assessment. When I find this, I try my best not to panic too much, knowing full well that I'm at risk of being found out.

Part Three.

#the lost boys #joel schumacher #vampire #david(thelostboys)#kiefer sutherland #paul(the lost boys)#dwayne(the lost boys)#santa carla #marko(the lost boys)#star(the lost boys)

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grahamcarmen · 4 years ago

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Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with “YEAH THIS IS YOU.” AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better. it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

#red crackle thoughts #not really red crackle but #ask #midnight me needs to learn what brevity is i swear #cs spoilers #also i am notorious at clipping my pwn thoughts #some of the context in my head didnt make it to being typed i am so sorry

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drippingmoon · 4 years ago

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for the OC Pair ask game: #2 and #8 for the characters who hate each other the most!

Thank you for the question!!

Hmm. Anne and the Elders have the most beef with each other, so there we go.

Despite their name, the (three) Elders aren't older than the other angels. It's just their title, like the rest are called Aspects.

I, uh, went a little wild.

Elders: Goodness gracious, weren't you supposed to be on the other side of the world?

Anne: Yet here I am, called because you can't manage something by yourselves. Again. *notices something and voice is suddenly high-pitched* Is this...?

2. You're playing Monopoly. Who wins, who cries, and who sets the board on fire?

Anne: Fires aren't what they used to be. No longer do they fry an angel to rich crispness. *things start flying* And that was the Monopoly board. Careful with the cupcake. And that was Imera's little toothbrush. Oh dear, he was emotionally attached to it. *grinning* It would be quite the uproar, if it were to pray to him.

The Elders: Where is it? The last piece? Where's the "Just Grapes and Sunshine"??

Anne: In my pocket.

The Elders: What -

Anne: Hush, now. The toothbrush willed it so.

The Elders: Add sore loser to your list of qualities, dear. *snatches the card*. And don't bother mentioning Imera again. This. Win. Is. Worth. It.

Anne: Win, you say? Perhaps it's too high for you to count, but there's three of you. *eyes the cupcake* And I feel a little generous today. About as much as you were, the times you kicked me out of Heaven.

The Elders: Oh, bother! As if you didn't have your wings. And it seems you never crashed far enough. Never did learn Monopoly, did you?

Anne: *smiling* I forgot to ask. It was one of those days when I found myself admiring the lands below, and remembered that you shut-ins would never see it for all the clouds. How did you find the cloudroad? At all? Must've slipped in some pocket -

The Elders: Well deserved.

Anne: - of the universe. Wait, what?

The Elders: *suddenly serious* Well, don't be daft. *toppling their own pieces* You've been in jail for quite some turns now. It's become your Monopoly-version of Heaven. And as it were, when you returned home, it was your chapel that stood tallest and our only. And we, too, helped haul blocks for it.

Anne: *draws her wings about herself, and is suddenly very intent on quickly finishing the game*

Narrator: The one who cried, albeit internally, was Anne. No one won that day, because the board caught on fire and both sides were too focused on being competitively generous to care. That, and neither party knew exactly how to win the game.

8. There's only one cupcake left. Who gets it?

The Elders: After you.

Anne: No, after you, I insist.

The Elders: *shrug* Suit yourself.

Anne: *has a premonition. Of a very soft yet deafening voice she'd be hearing from for weeks. That, and there's a shred of remorse in her, after all* Well, I will, thank you.

*Skewers the cupcake with her wing*

The Elders: Really??? So much for generosity, and you could've at least eaten it, too? Have you? Ever? There's never going to be another cupcake made exactly like that one!

Anne: I do have a reason -

*symphonic snorting*

Anne: Dramatic bastards. Every angel went through the rite of puking their guts after eating, and here I am mercifully sparing you the experience.

The Elders: I - well. From eating a cupcake? The blasphemy.

Anne: From eating or drinking anything. There. That's what you get for never going out.

The Elders: You mean to say that when we do what we're supposed to do, and don't stick our nose in funny business, we're kept perfectly safe? The horror of it! Who would've thought! And everyone is grateful to boot!

Anne: Well, then. I should kick you out of Heaven sometimes. For the stars, of course.

The Elders: *confused* For the stars?

Anne: They like me better.

#oc questions #aquiver-aglow #oc: anne

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 5 years ago

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The Remembrance Of A Kiss

I was feeling nostalgic for a fic which I wrote almost three years ago called Zeta-7 and The Kiss; it was written back when I first started writing Rnm fics. While, I don't write how I used to, I am fond of it. So, here's this finished wip. I think I'm running on nostalgia these days, for things are changing faster then I can keep up with. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. It's guaranteed to be fluffy :3

In this fic the reader thinks about a past momentous moment.

_____________________

The trouble and light anxiety you had felt about the occasion had been insignificant compared to his. Back then you had been searching for an answer or rather a solution to a predicament; the problem at the time being that you weren't sure how to broach the subject of a certain display of affection. It was neither a lack or an abundance of affection, and it seems silly now when you thought of it, which was often, but when and where had your inclination to kiss him first begin? It might have always been there, but that statement in itself seemed like a lie, for you didn't want to kiss him when you initially met him, but he had been influential; recognizing you from another time, another life, but that wasn't what you came here to talk about. No, you wanted to think of that fateful day.

That day he had been in his usual delightful mood, the kind that came about because he got to see you and was genuinely having a good day; although, with him, he tended to find good in every day and as expected he was deliciously cheerful and had a smile which could last for days upon his thin lips. Oh, how you had loved that smile for it followed you everywhere, even when you couldn't seem him; that haircut which had been copied from an old clothing catalog advertisement and moved about when he spoke; buck teeth which dentists could only dream to keep as trophies, and the hint of lip bite when he'd finished talking; it was part of the draw. You fought, swallowed, and bided your time as you thought of the ways in which you could show him you loved him. For you, there was a momentum, a force which couldn't have been stopped; beginning with his hellos, and would build as you continued to be so affected and had been desperate to satisfy the longing and affection which pulled and drowned your senses whenever he was near; it made you reason that it was the right thing to do; to express and ask if it was alright to move forward; it was and he agreed, but he never quite recovered from being kissed.

No, you didn't mean all the kisses which occurred after and had taken place up to the present per se, but from the first one you had given him around the start of your relationship; having made such an impression, it was as though you had branded his heart and soul; that a string was tied to one of your ribs and to one of his ventricles which kept him alive only by his sheer will to withstand the forces and madness that threatened to tear him apart daily; he could never recover. You would say that he grew a little more mature that day; in mind, spirit, but not in age. To be sure, things had been so different then; Rick had been so shy when it came to romantic sensibilities, naive to others advances or otherwise natural attraction to him, believing he was unworthy of such while you had so much to learn about the mysteries of men; neither knew what the other had been going through. You hadn't known about his otherworldly adventures yet, his loneliness, or uniqueness, and he knew almost everything except your personality quirks, but as to how he knew was a different story.

Still, that was then, back when there was so much yet to be known, and you thought him to be human. You remembered how for days, he walked as though in a daze, bumping into things and hardly able to look you in the eyes without being lovestruck and tongue-tied; you were sure to watch after him to make sure you hadn't given him a stroke and assured him that he shouldn't deny his worth. Why it seemed even now he could barely function without being a little goofy after a kiss, but it was endearing; you hadn't known then about how he had been starved for affection due to lack of family and circumstances. Yet, if you had any doubts, they certainly were lessened by his attentiveness and wanting to please.

You were sure others might've tired of this behavior long ago, and you had your days in when you thought you weren't capable of managing it all, but for every time you came crashing down, he was there to help you even when you didn't want him to; for every tear and moment of grief, there was his affection which he returns out of love, gratitude, and fear all at once. Oh, if you knew then what you knew now, you would've confessed earlier; let him know how much you had cared, and tried harder to be a better friend. Still, you were making it up to him and doubted you'd ever finish making it up to him. And because he was forever grateful and happy when you kissed him, you decided to ask him one day what it was that he found so dazzling about it and to your shock, his answer endeared him to you all the more. "It's like saying h-hello." he answered matter of factly.

"Really? In what way?"

"Gosh," he wondered, scratching the back of his neck. "it's uh - it's like touching hands, but instead of the formality of a-a handshake, you touch lips to greet and exchange not only DNA but affection. Culture or whoever happens to partake in this ritual may affect its meaning, but in such an awe-inspiring way I believe it's a reminder of trust and union; albeit more intimate."

Was that how he had felt back then? Had it been a social experiment or a daydream that had come into fruition? Perhaps neither. Maybe, he was concerned that you'd be disappointed if that so-called spark wasn't there, but the good thing was you relied more on just sparks. "So, what you mean to say is that in a sense those who kiss are bonded?"

"I th-think so."

And you believed him, for when it came to such matters, he was sincere. Why it must've hit him harder than it ever will with you, but you blamed being a creature of natural circumstance for that; your childhood and life had been happy and general for the most part, while his had more loops in it then the Whirly Dirly. Thinking of it now, the consequence of your affection was that he took to you so strongly, you were sure that if something happened to you, it might kill him; the thought being burdensome in its own right.

You had never thought of pairing the word passionate with him, but his sensibilities to and of the world in which he existed in as well as to interactions with the beings in it made you wonder if there was anything or anyone he could truly hate; himself perhaps for that was who he was most affected by.

"Rick," you started, pushing away the unsettling thoughts as you set down the book you had been reading. "I think that's sweet. You certainly have a knack for seeing the poetic nature behind the reality, but what are your thoughts on the people who kiss for fun?"

He ruminated for a moment. It might've occurred to him that people didn't always kiss with the intention of forming serious relationships, but he would be sure to make a note of finding out later. "Gosh, I'm sure there are some benefits t-t-to it, though I haven't done much research on the matter."

Who knew where one would begin on such a subject. There were books on both physiology and psychology, but did any of them go into the happenstance of a kiss? You hadn't thought of checking, but knowing the intelligent man that he was, perhaps he had looked into it. "Research huh? Dear," you explained, "people don't just research kisses as though they are studies or hypothesized."

"Th-they don't?"

"At least not that I know of. I mean, people simply see and do. Don't they? Is there more?"

"Y-yes and no. It depends on the species."

"Hmm, I guess it does."

Again, you wouldn't know. There must've been planets, realities, and universes whose signs of affection transcended that of action, but while it was a fascinating thought, you were glad that in your reality that wasn't the case in its entirety. Searching his face, you found that his brow was scrunched up together, wondering if there was more to it. You had thought the question innocent enough, he, on the other hand, wouldn't be satisfied until he found the truth behind your inquiry. Not being one to try to disappoint him, you turned towards him and nodded. "However, I have my own answer. If you come closer I can show you what I mean."

Removing his glasses, he scooted closer; curious to see if the answer was somehow in your pocket or hiding on his face. The trust which allowed him to focus on you with conviction as you approached him was palpable. Lightly, you brushed back his bangs and passed your fingers lightly over his frown lines. Silly man, he thought too much for his own good, but if he had been unsure earlier, then the blush which dusted his ears and cheeks said otherwise. Stretching up, you pressed a light kiss on his forehead; not unlike the ones he'd give you when he thought you were asleep. And you smiled at him from the bottom of your heart. In turn, he chuckled in happy amusement; boyish in the way his eyes glimmered as though he had gotten a new toy. "Gee, that was - that was swell, but I-I don't understand. Wh-what was that for?"

"I see you and I must kiss you. It's practically the law." you giggled before repeating the action.

"Are y-y-you sure?" he wondered, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

Pulling back a little, you nodded. "I'm positive. Especially since it's what you deserve."

The light chuckle which escaped him only fed your joy as you peppered him with kisses. And before you could see it, you felt him smiling and glowing with happiness as his goofy grin returned with a vengeance.

"Gosh," he sighed with contentment, "I-I learn something new everyday."

"I bet you do, but really a kiss is nothing to think too hard about."

"I-I know."

"If anything, I think it's based on a feeling. For example," you paused to give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts together. "the reason I kiss you is the same reason I've always had and it's because I care about you. In my own way, it's like I'm saying, 'Hello, I missed you, come here, I love you. Oh, I love you so very much. Thank you, for simply existing and being here with me.' Maybe we both have the same reason as to why words sometimes aren't enough, and while a kiss is simple, it's not always so easy to execute, but nothing is wrong with that. It's all done in its own time. In its own way. I am happy you let me kiss you way back when, because I adored you so much that it hurt. I still adore you, and you'll always be precious to me."

Glancing at you in wonderment, he played with his fingers then searched your face again. In his soul, he knew you weren't lying, but since you've first known him, he always seemed to be searching, as well as fighting his self-condemning mind and heart especially having been injured so many times. As though you had a world of answers for some of his simple questions that he would've otherwise been too embarrassed to ask, he'd open his mouth just to close it again. You had assured him on multiple occasions that he could ask you anything, but his bashful nature gave allowances for this; endearing in its own right. Once he seemed satisfied, he took out his notepad and wrote down some notes; if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was writing a thesis by the way the words slanted and blended into one another as he concentrated on the details, all the while sporting that lovestruck grin. "What are you writing dear? Is it a love letter? Is it about the trees, or bees, or whatever goes about in that wonderful head of yours?"

"I'm updating my notes."

This much you knew. "But on what? Not on kissing, right? That would be something." you teased.

"N-n-no," he answered softly, "but on you."

"Is that right? Is there any particular reason?"

"Mhm," he nodded. "so I won't forget."

What a silly man he was, you thought. "It's ok to forget things, but I'm sure you won't. Besides, who forgets the first person they kiss?"

"N-not me."

"Of course not, especially with all the reminders that come after. I doubt I will, but reminders are appreciated. I wouldn't want to forget how happy you make me."

Slowing down his note-taking, he mentioned. "I like reminders too."

Of course he did. From years of journal keeping to the multiple watches and small computers that were scattered about the house, for there was so much going on in his head he needed help keeping his train of thought straight. It was just another way of saying in so many words, how much he loved you. "So do I. And trust me, I'll be sure to remind you a lot. As much as you need, and as often as I can. Hopefully," you winked at him. "I'll be reminded soon."

Giving your hand a squeeze, he softened. "I um - I don't mind reminding you. I-I really like reminders."

"I know, but do you like them more than adventures, or as far as that ship in the garage will take you?" you teased.

Replacing the notepad in his pocket, he nodded. "As far as 238,855 miles w-will take me."

Miles or kilometers were but measurements and distance, but that distance you were sure was not on Earth. "Do you mean to the moon?"

Pressing a light kiss to your temple, he answered. "Por supuesto, y-y más allá de eso. Please, don't forget"

Forget? Why would you forget? If there was a prelude, it was the flutter and happy giddiness which occurred when you caught him off guard, but to whatever came after, it was effervescent, sweet, and addictive. And while it could be said about a lot of things, he was far more complex. You see, you never recovered from being kissed, because you were enticed by his charm, and won by his goodness, but a kiss sealed the deal; for now and forever you belonged to him and you weren't going to let him forget it. Cupping his cheek, you replied. "I won't and I never will Ricky. You can bet on that," as you leaned forward, you whispered. "and seal it with a kiss."

Fin

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tcportfoliomgj · 3 years ago

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Wednesday, 9th of June, 2021

"There is really nothing so good for thinking, for clearing your mind, for acquiring fresh, unexpected thoughts than crossing the borders of your homeland." - Jeroen Lutters

So today is the day. Well, technically tomorrow, but I have to hand this portfolio in at 8:00, so that basically means I have to finish and hand it in tonight. Things are a little chaotic. I think I've covered most of the competencies and such, but I still need to do a part of creativity, collaboration and professional challenges. I need to do critical thinking as well (though it's already woven in some other posts too), but I'll do that in another post.

At the start of the year, we had to do a PC with our learning teams. This meant I had to do it with Nynke and Marije. We decided to focus on the ideal classroom and wanted to make a 'guide' for other teachers. I must admit, we didn't always take it that seriously and I would do things differently now. Later, Stijn joined the team and he was able to really add something to our project even though he joined near the end. Our final product was a Padlet (appendix 23), something that I would certainly change if I had to do it now. It's not bad, especially not for a first PC, but I think I would prefer to have a booklet, a neater webpage or a more brochure-like product. Still, I learned a lot from it. I did the research for it and got to practice using databanks and such.

My second PC however, is a lot better in my opinion. It's not finished yet, but I think we might continue this project next year. I worked with Joyce, Marije, Kimberly, Dominique and Eva. Ton was our coach and Bert Wienen our 'client'. But let's take it back to the beginning...

One day, the girls and I started talking about something that was said in a webinar. It was about teachers and whether or not they should also help students with personal problems. At some schools, they keep those things strictly separate. The teacher does the teaching, and everything else is done by other professionals. We found this a little shocking. Sure, teachers aren't psychologists and I don't think they should ever try to be. However, a student's personal life can affect their academic life, so shouldn't we as teachers be there for them to lend an ear and support them? We started questioning what we heard and what we already knew. Pretty soon, the idea formed to make this our PC, but we didn't really know how yet.

We worked on the basics first, like making a group contract (appendix 24) in which we decided on some rules concerning our behaviour, et cetera. Then through Ton, we got in contact with Bert Wienen, as we needed a 'client' for our professional challenge. I've mentioned Bert before, because of his research. I was a bit apprehensive about working with him, because of what he had written and of what he had said in a lecture, but I did want to give it a chance. Together with Ton, we had a brainstorming session. We decided that we could definitely work with Bert, but that we didn't have to focus on labels and diagnoses. We wanted to keep it more general than that because being an involved teacher that coaches also means you want to help everyone with personal problems, not just the ones who are labelled with a certain 'problem'.

We started talking to Bert and quickly came to the conclusion that we already know a lot about what teachers think, but that it's just as important to know what students think. Eventually, we decided that we would conduct preliminary research to help Bert with his research. We wanted to interview students of different ages and focus on student voice. Perception isn't always the same as reality, but it does show us how people experience reality. In fact, the perceptions of students form their views of education and influence their behaviour (Quaglia & Corso, 2017). Because it was preliminary research, we didn't have to worry about all the technicalities. This way, Bert really gave us the opportunity to focus on the interviews.

We made a design canvas (appendix 25) together and started preparing the student interviews. We wrote a project plan (appendix 26), with me taking the lead since I had already had a semester of Project Management when I studied Global Project & Change Management. We also created an interview guideline (appendix 27). This way, we can draw a conclusion from open conversations because in every conversation we have recurring questions. Kimberly and Dominique conducted the interviews on VO, while Joyce did it on PO. We are currently in the process of transcribing all the interviews and we haven't really decided what our final product will be, but we will after the portfolio deadline. We think the conclusion will be that not all students need a teacher to take on a coaching role, but they often do appreciate it. The close proximity of a safe haven isn't the most important, but the knowledge of there being one (Stevens & Bors, 2013, p. 77). We also plan on continuing with this PC next year. Hopefully, we'll be able to take the next steps in our research.

I would say our PC has gone pretty smoothly so far. We communicate quite well and are very honest with each other. We created a space in Microsoft Teams so we could easily share files and work in documents together. Setting up a team collaboration environment can be encouraging and makes it easy to work on a project together (Horine, 2017). We decided that we'd use Whatsapp for daily interactions. Face to face would've been an ideal way to communicate, but because of the pandemic, this was a bit hard. Near the end of the academic year, we were able to work on campus and talk face to face, which made things a lot easier. We used Teams video calls when we weren't able to meet on campus and also to organise meetings with Bert. We'd email him whenever we needed to update him on the project.

I would definitely describe our project group as a 'high-performing team', as Horine (2017) calls it. He says that high-performing teams have a core set of traits. The first trait is clarity. Teams need to know where they are going, what they are going and how they are doing it. I think we had a very clear plan and stuck to it quite well. High-performing teams also show commitment. As a group, we all felt very responsible for this project and wanted to go the extra mile, we were definitely invested and willing to put in the time. According to Horine (2017), the team should also be professional. The members take responsibility and do the assigned work. I think that we, as a team, did handle things professionally. Of course, we would joke here and there, but when we had to get down to business we were always able to get into that mindset. Then there is synergy, the fourth trade. I think this took a while for us, but after some weeks we really started to understand what worked well and who could do what. We started to really use our talents and performed really well as a team. Lastly, there is trust. Trust is of course earned over time, but I think we got to a good level of trust quite quickly. We were honest and open, this way we were able to discuss minor problems and easily work through them. All in all, I think we did really well as a team, and I'm quite proud of us and of our work. I definitely think we showed some courage because interviewing students about a topic like this isn't easy. We focussed on a very relevant topic however and we were very persistent. Sometimes things took a while to move forward, but we never gave up. Something we could improve on might be our focus on a final product, taking more risks and being more self-aware so we could use our talents a little more than we already did.

However, there were also some creative journeys and processes this year that didn't go that well at all. An example of this is the documentary we had to make for Art Based Learning. I wanted to do this alone and my first idea was to make a satirical documentary on the Dutch pluriform society. However, I was very behind on a lot of the work and I tend to be a little impulsive and sporadic. At one point I changed my topic to menstruation because I thought it would be cool to take a taboo topic and turn it into an awesome documentary. But it wasn't easy. I'm not the most structured person, and I easily get stuck during projects because of the simple step by step process. When I think I'm stuck or can't do something, I just block all my motivation to keep going and sometimes give up quite easily. It's not unusual for people with ADHD to struggle with going through a process (Regelink, 2020). Eventually, I was so behind on all the assignments that I decided to admit that I was struggling. I think it's important to not see it as giving up. Admitting that you need help or aren't very good at something can be very hard. Bart very kindly took me under his wings and asked me to join his documentary. He was doing it on a very personal topic but needed someone to conduct research to support his work. I quite like doing research so I was very happy with the job. I found him some news articles and went through government reports for him, highlighting all the relevant information. I will say, I still very much see it as Bart's documentary. Also because he is telling a personal story. I only helped him with the research for it.

I think the beautiful thing about Bart's documentary is that he opens up to all of us to simply tell his own story. His story is not representative of all adopted kids in the world of course, but he also doesn't try to do that. He just tells his own story, while also being aware of the other perspectives out there. The documentary shows multiple sides of a very complex and heavy subject and Bart is respectful of all sides too. His documentary gives to stuff to think about. What's good or bad isn't decided, things just are the way they are, with all the experiences that come with it. He gives you space to just let it all wash over you, you can think about it, take a little while and then form your own opinion. Bart's experience with adoption is not related to the government reports on adoption, but because he still involves it in his documentary you can see that the topic is way bigger than just Bart's story. And still, it's his documentary, his story. It's storytelling in such a beautiful and cool way. Everyone can learn and grow from it.

Another assignment that didn't go too well was the final paper for VMT3 (a history course I took for 'vakinhoudelijke onderwijseenheid'). The course itself went really well. Bas, our lecturer, uses the SALT method, where you basically have an assessment every week instead of at the end of a course. This way, you keep up with the theory learned. Most students start cramming right before an exam, but all that knowledge is very easily lost because of the forgetting curve. Students cram but they never get back to it (Van der Meijden, 2021). I did really well during the weekly oral assessments. I thoroughly enjoy history and I loved Bas' lectures, but VMT3 was only worth 4 EC's, so we had to end it with a final assignment to get to the 5 EC's that we needed. Bas gave us two options, we could either write about the SALT method or write a guide to revolution, using the French Revolution as your example. I chose the latter but my planning wasn't very good. Bas even gave me an extra week, but I wasn't able to finish it. I decided to let it go and hand in my unfinished work (appendix 28) because I had to move on. I'm not very proud of it, especially because I know I can do better and really wanted to do better. We haven't gotten our feedback yet, but Bas did tell us that we passed the oral assessments. I think for me this all adds to my learning journey, some (creative) processes go really well, some not so well. But it shows me that I need to work on my planning skills and my self-discipline.

Still, I think I did fairly well this year, and it also shows in the feedback I've received. A lot of student in TC1 wanted to give each other feedback so we decided it would be a good idea to create a platform where we could do this. I made a Padlet (appendix 29) for our year where we all could give each other feedback if we wanted to. Some students didn't really feel the need to join in this, but some really enjoyed the Padlet and found it quite helpful. I definitely enjoyed reading the feedback people wrote for me.

All in all, I think we've all grown a lot this year. With our creative process, our ability to communicate and collaborate, and just as humans in general. I'm proud of us.

🎵 Riptide - Vance Joy

#collaboration #creativity #communication

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one-boring-person · 4 years ago

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What Kind Of A World Are We Living In?

The Lost Boys x The Walking Dead Crossover

Warnings: blood imagery, death, some very vague TWD spoilers, bad language

Context: So @browneyes528 , @lostbetweenvampiresandmusic and I kinda came up with an idea for a crossover between these fandoms, and it basically entails David meeting Negan for the first time.

A/N: This is my first time writing Negan, so I hope it's not too bad! I enjoyed writing this; it's quite fun to combine the things I enjoy 😂😅💛

Masterlist.

Originally, David had made it clear that he wanted no part in joining any groups they came across on their travels, impressing this on the boys on multiple occasions, especially when "food" was scarce. Even before he'd turned, he'd never been a particularly social person, so the outbreak of "biters" as one group they'd encountered had called them was perfect for his naturally guarded personality, as it meant he never had to interact with people he didn't like as much as he used to, back in Santa Carla in the good old days. Only one problem came with the outbreak: the amount of available people to feed on was slowly decreasing, and the biters do not taste nearly as good.

However, this changed when he came across a rather interesting character, whose name he had yet to figure out, whilst on a hunt, the others having spread out through the area to find possible sources of blood. For once, David was walking through the dense forest rather than flying over it, avoiding the biters wherever possible, easily decapitating those that stumbled too close to him with the machete he "borrowed" from a previous victim, though in theory there was no need to do so, seeing as they didn't seem to care about the taste of vampire flesh, and their bites wouldn't do anything to them anyway. He'd started to give up hope of finding any source of life, until he picked up the sounds of voices a little way off, interest spiking as he headed off in that direction, hunger growing as the familiar scent of fresh blood reached him, the smell clearly emanating from a large area ahead of him. Following with more vigour, he soon came across the odd gathering of people; a semi-circle of sorts was formed around an old RV, a number of them kneeling on the floor in front of a horde of armed soldier-type men and women. Vehicles surrounded them, a collection of armoured trucks and pickups, as well as a couple of motorbikes (which he greatly envied, seeing as he and the boys had had to leave theirs back in Santa Carla for lighter travel) solidifying the would-be intimidating group into an almost impenetrable wall. Normally, he'd signal for the other boys to join him, there being too many for him to finish off alone, but something stopped him in his tracks. Or rather, someone.

A tall man went to the RV, having said something relevant to the kneeling people, opening the door to reveal another man, who stepped into the light with a large grin on his face. Instantly, David's focus was on the newcomer, eyebrow raising at his choice of attire - a black leather jacket, red scarf and dark jeans, though what really caught his eye was the baseball bat, which was wrapped in barbed wire, a deadly weapon he wished he could see in action. Despite the circumstances (it being an apocalypse and all), the newcomer was clean and undirtied, as if he had somewhere to return to where he could shower and change into clean clothes, and his entire attitude around the gathered people only proved to David that this man was the leader.

His eyes remained fixed on him, taking in the laid-back, yet clearly authoritative stance and movements, not listening to what was being said until the familiar sound of an old song floated up to him from the leader, each line punctuated by a point of the bat at a kneeling person, all of whom appeared terrified.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a tiger by his toe..."

The black-clad leader's voice was taunting, his fingers visibly clenching around the handle of the bat as he came to a halt in front of a thick-set ginger guy, who stared up the length of the weapon with a confidence only bred in the military.

David could only watch with grudging appreciation as the leader then proceeded to beat the hell out of the guy's head, spreading the ginger man's brains all over the dusty tarmac with a brutal finality.

It only took the sight of this to change David's mind about joining a group, his mind made up as he watched the leader tease and taunt the rest of the group, nearly rising in anger when a dishevelled brunette sprung forward to punch him in the jaw, smirking to himself when another guy had his head smashed to pieces in retaliation. This guy knew how to demonstrate his ultimate dominance over his people.

Unfortunately, he had to wait another few weeks or so until he got the chance to meet this guy again, at which point he'd already informed the others of this new group he had found, eager to figure out what this guy's reaction would be to finding a coven of vampires asking to ally with him. To say the boys had been surprised was an understatement; Paul nearly fell from the roof they were perched on, Dwayne only just managing to pull him back up again, Marko staring, wide-eyed, at his leader. Unsurprisingly, they had all wanted to see this guy for themselves, not quite believing that a human could be as brutal and remorseless as David made him out to be, thus starting a search for the base of these people, though it was mostly unsuccessful, until one summer night.

The four of them hovered over the decrepit motorway below, eyes searching for any signs of movements, each of them as bored as the others, having had less luck finding food in the last few weeks, seeing as everyone seemed to be letting themselves die in ways that meant they would become a biter, which was not helpful at all. By now, they'd been out for a good four hours, their hunger levels through the roof - they'd only found a group of two loners the day before, meaning that they hadn't eaten nearly enough to satisfy them. At his point, Marko and Paul decided they needed to start acting dramatic, theatrically dropping from the sky every now and then, only to catch themselves after a few metres, complaining about how tired and hungry they were the entire time, neither of them letting up, even when Dwayne threatened to stake them both. They were whinging so much they never noticed the little band of people on the motorway below them, the tiny group having just emerged from the trees lining the side of the road, until David pointed them out, licking his lips in anticipation, his vampiric features contorting his face as he led the dive down.

Whooping in triumph and relief, the four of them descended on the group of five, each of them claiming a victim right off the bat, tearing into their chosen person with a vigour born of deep-rooted hunger, blood erupting in macabre fountains from the newly made wounds. The rich fluid coated their chins and fangs, staining their already filthy clothes further as the screaming people writhe and struggle in their respective grips, each one gradually dying in full view of the fifth, who had yet to race off in the other direction, which would've been the smart thing to do. As it happened, the horrified girl never stood a chance, swiftly being taken out by David as he took his fill from her, passing her barely alive body on to an eagerly waiting Paul, who was only to happy to sink his fangs into her skin, tearing her throat out with a grim efficiency.

In their feeding frenzy, none of them had noticed the envoy of vehicles slowly approaching from the north, a familiar RV amongst them, until the beaming headlights were focused on them, drawing the vampires' attention. Dropping the corpses, each vampire moved to stand beside David, who stuck his gloved hands in his pockets and watched the cars approach, smirking at the realisation of who it is, glad that their first encounter involved him covered in fresh blood from a victim he just spent a few enjoyable minutes tearing to pieces, knowing that his appearance must be horrifying. Beside him, the others stood their ground, Marko moving to bite at his thumb, only to swiftly think better of it, hooking it in the belt loops of his jeans instead. Ahead of them, each vehicle came to a halt, a group of armed people stepping forward with rifles and shotguns aimed at them, a sight which brought a slight grin to David's lips, the door to the RV opening to reveal the guy from before, a somewhat confused yet confident expression on his face.

"It's nearly two in the morning and I have to sort out a bunch of cannibals on the road? What kinda world are we living in?!" The leader joked with one of his cronies, eyeing the motley group of blood stained boys with no trepidation at all.

"A dying one, I reckon." David called out to him in way of response, their eyes locking, almost as if challenging each other.

"Well, then I guess it all depends on who you ask, don't it?" A wide grin appeared on the guy's face as he looked David over, clearly impressed by what he saw, "Damn, you are creepy as shit! You look totally badass!"

David's eyes narrowed a bit at his words, suspicious of the guy's odd compliments.

"If that's what you think, then sure." He responded, choosing his words carefully.

"What I think? Hell, no, that's not what I think. It's what I know." He confirmed, leaning back on his heels, his bat resting over one shoulder, "I'm Negan."

"David."

"David? Your name is David? I'm gonna have to figure out something better than that, something more badass."

For once, David chose not to let his offense at the statement determine how he acted, instead remaining in place with a neutral expression.

"If you must." He bit out, deciding to get straight to the point, "We've been looking for you."

Surprise seemed to cross Negan's face at this confession, eyebrows momentarily drawing together in confusion.

"You've been looking for me? Why in the hell would you do that?"

"I saw you beat two people's heads in a few weeks back, and you left a good impression on me. I thought you might like the help of four vampires in your group, who have no qualms about killing anyone." David informed him, nearly rolling his eyes at the disbelieving look on their faces.

"I left a good impression on someone like you because I beat the shit outta two people? Damn, you are messed up, I'll give you that." Negan smirked, pointing at David with his bat, "But I cannot give you the vampire bullshit. Who in the hell still believes in them?"

"People with sense." He grinned in reply, his features changing into their vampiric forms, lips peeling back to reveal his razor sharp fangs.

For a long moment, everyone is silent, Negan's eyes fixed on David's face, clearly taken aback by the turn of events, though the smile is quick to return.

"I owe you damn apology, David, that is terrifying. Like real, pant-pissing, shitting-yourself terrifying." He complimented again, seemingly considering something, "You still up for helping me out? Because I have a job that I think will suit you guys just fine."

"Sure thing, as long as the price is decent."

Negan stepped forwards, bat back on his shoulder, a conspiratorial smirk on his lips.

"There's a certain group of people who need the shit scaring outta them. Their leader is a prick named Rick, or Rick the Prick as I call him, and he needs an attitude adjustment."

#the lost boys #joel schumacher #vampire #david(thelostboys)#kiefer sutherland #paul(the lost boys)#dwayne(the lost boys)#marko(the lost boys)#the walking dead #Megan #negan fic #crossover #Rick Grimes #Daryl Dixon

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