#world trip arc
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poke-cove · 1 year ago
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Fuck it. New ask game
Reblog this post to get a random shiny from Alola
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poke-cove · 1 year ago
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I don't. Every time one of my partners gets even close to fainting, I start to panic and try to find a way to safely recall them, and then if I can't do that without immediately risking someone else on my team fainting, I just. Scream
When someone does faint, the panic turns to rage and I become hellbent on getting revenge. Ex: The time a colony of Cottonee beat up my daughter(Water- /Dragon-type) and I trained a Salandit for a month just to get back at them. In a more recent example: Literally Every Time I've Been Challenged Lately where Ellipse isn't able to take out the enemy in a few moves
Okay I think I'm just gonna up and ask.
Trainers who battle regularly and are very friendly with their Pokemon: How do you not just lose it when they get hurt in battle? How do you keep it together to push through and keep battling when one gets knocked out? I feel like even one faint and I'd end up an absolute wreck...
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month ago
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oh freckle, freckle⠁.. what makes you so s p e c i a l?
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#IM SORRY THIS SONG DOES SO MANY BAD THINGS TO ME#other than the metal style cover / weezers sweet dreams r made of these / poppunk dancing queen this is THERMBADBIHTHEMESONG#THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS IS THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SONG BITCH#like OH FRECKLE FRECKLE WHAT MAKES U SO SPECIAL#HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO#MY HEARTS IN HEAVEN MY SOLES ARE HEEEEEELLLLL LETS ME IN THE PURAGATORY OF MY HIPPPPPPPPPPPPPS#AND GET WELL ;)))))))#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HYYYYYYYHHHH BITCH#I KNOW THIS WAS A SPICY GREENHOUSE MAKEOUT SONG I AM SCREAMING VERY LOUD IN MY HEAD RN#*jerseykyle vc* i'm gonna ( leave you ) I'm Gonna TEACH you#HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NOOOOOO#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KNOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS GOING *NEW PERSPECTIVE VC* DOOOOOOOOWN DOWN DOooOOWWN#ALSO WAITER ARTIST MODEL SINGER IS LITERALLY CDS WHOLE EXPERIENCE TRYING TO MAKE IT IN THE BUSINESS#SPECIFICALLY RAVENSTAN GOING FROM WAITERING AT CHEFS RESTURANT TO COCKTAIL WAITERING AT RUFFIANS#MAKING MUSIC ON THE SIDE AND BASICALLY BEING A SOLD OUT TO THAT WHOLE CLUB AND BEING PUNK ROCK#~SUPERMODELITBOY~ AND ET TENS WHOLE BRAND AND HIS LIL PLAYTHING AND BEING A SINGER BUT...GOD...WAS IT WORTH IT????? WAS. IT. WORTH. IT.#DONT TALK TO ME HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC MAKES ME MISERABLE HE JUST WANTED TO SING#AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! YOURE RAVEN YOURE NO ONES DAUGHTER MIDNIGHT SUN BUT YOUR WINGS ARE STILL CLIPPED; YOU CANT FLY#YOU SING BUT IT FALLS ON DEAF EARS! COVER BOY ON THE PAGE! A PACIFIST AND ALL THE RAGE!! ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE#BUT GOLD OR NOT; AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS JUST A CAGE PRETTY BIRD - AND YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF BABY!!! YOU! BUILT! IT! YOURSELF! BARS BItcH#thats my son My Son mY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON it also has such a sexcC nitelub jerseykyle back beat hEEEEELLLO#i could talk about this for such a long time i LOVE this song#*jk having going crazy but divine intervention on his bathroom floor after a bad stan episode and ed episode head on toliet vc*#MAMA? IF WE DONT TAKE THE MEDICATION...WE WONT SLEEP FOR DAYS? MAMA...IF WE PRAY TO THE LORD#DOES HE SING ON STAGE?????? oOOOOOOOOOOUGH IM SICK AND I KNOW HES SEEING STARS AND SMILES AND PRETTY EYES AND UGLY LAUGHES#AND A BOY HE HASNT SEEN IN YEARS BUT HE SEES EVERYDAY OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IM SICK#I WANT TO BE GOLDEN IN YOUR MEMORY!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIICK!!! SICK AND FUCKING TWISTED!!!!! SHUT UP AAAAAaAAAAaA#IM IN HELL jk swirling his drink trying to look uninterested *after party fb vc* watching rstan work the room like#oh freckle freckle what makes You so special? and then raven waves and winks at him and trips bc hes an idiot and jk is like AAAAAA SIIIIIC
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lost-in-fandoms1999 · 9 months ago
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My friend @fangirlhaley and I are once again realizing we are never beating the allegations of being this world's Dean and Sam Winchester respectfully.
Next thing you know she's gonna break into my house and be like, "My Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days." And then we're criss-crossing the country fighting monsters.
P.S. SPN Writers you owe us compensation 💀✋
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20001541 · 10 months ago
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this is a good point because the world isn't going to run by itself, what's his plan on handling that?
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I don't think he thought that far ahead, the comics didn't mention that part 😔
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suffarustuffaru · 2 years ago
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1. julius tired of being nice?? 😳😳 want to go apeshit?? 😳😳 good for him. absolutely valid after everything gluttony did to him.
2. I LOVE OTTO AS A CHARACTER SO MUCH FOR HIS HYPOCRISY…. STFU OTTO YOU CANT TALK YOURE MORE OF AN OUTSIDER TO THIS THAN JULIUS IS 😭😭 AND YOU BUTT INTO EVERYTHING EVER DUDE YOUVE BEEN NOSY SINCE YOU WERE A KID, AND THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BRING A BOOK OF WISDOM INTO PRIESTELLA THUS ATTRACTING SIN ARCHBISHOPS. STFU OTTO LMAO 😭😭😭
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golden-explosions-main · 4 months ago
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[ * Suzy is rageful. She grits as she feels outnumbered and outpowered. ]
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[ * She puts away the object again. Taking something else out now. You see that it's a worn dagger. A very familiar worn dagger. ]
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[ * Suzy looks determined as she grips the worn dagger with both hands. Raising it up above her head. ]
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[ * Then slashing it down to the earth. Everything goes bright for a moment. ]
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[ * You witness... something. It almost can't be comprehended. Darkness seeps from it. ]
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[ * Something that should not be in this world. It fights against the logic of this world to exist here. It clashes in waves. ]
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[ * Everything goes D a r k ]
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Flowey: "Waitwaitwaitwait we believe you, we get it-!"
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It happens all too fast, and Flowey moves quickly to snatch Frisk up, and to cover his eyes with his petals, simultaneously covering Frisk's eyes with a gloved hand from the bright flashing lights, both protectively holding on to each other.
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nrd-answers · 1 year ago
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BRANCHING ENDLESS TIMELINES HOW FAR FROM YOUR MOUNTAINS HAVE YOU WALKED?
Apologies for shouting, i am but excited.
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“No worries about shouting. I’m used to it ^^ “
< Previous | First | Next >
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poke-cove · 1 year ago
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OH MY ARC WAIT YOU'RE IN HOENN?? DUDE WE'RE IN HOENN DO YOU WANT A VISIT ::DD
pelliper mail!
the Meadow Plate, with a sticky note on it that says "does anybody in this thread smoke weed?"
.............hell no that's going right out the window good byeeee!
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sneasedtomeetyou · 1 year ago
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:{ Hello!! I am Echo, The Professor's Personal Porysistant™!! We've been at this for days but I think [Doppelganger] is finally starting to get it!! }: :{ A video file is embedded. [LOCATION UNAVAILABLE], Kanto. 12/24/23 4:45 pm. }:
This video starts with the hushed sounds of our two professors talking amongst one another, though the quiet words seem to be lost on us. Echo doesn’t seem too interested in this, however, and instead turns to look around this new-to-her space that we find ourselves in. This lab, though not too dissimilar to Amy’s in some ways, is much larger. Extensive bookshelves line the largest of the visible walls, and a large picture window lets in the warm evening light as it looks out over the nearby forest- quite the view really. 
As her attention refocuses on Casi and Amy we find them sitting at a table clearly meant for young students, the furniture scaled down to better accommodate them. Amy in particular appears out of place, shifting their legs and attempting to get comfortable in the small seat, favoring that left hip. Casi is able to fit well enough in his seat, a fact that seems to bother him more as he watches the taller professor, before making a bit of a face down at his own desk.. 
As echo comes closer the soft whispers between the two become more distinct, though still difficult to make out on the recording. They hold hands and Casi rests her head on Amy’s shoulder for a few moments.
Casi: Hey, we’ll get through this together, okay? I love you.
Amy: I love you too.
When Professor Holly enters the room, an extremely short older woman with gray hair streaked with the remnants of her natural green, Casi abruptly straightens up, flustered. His hand does not let go of Amy’s, however, dropping a bit in between them almost as if to hide the affection from the newcomer. Instead of tea this time the older professor has brought them a tray full of cookies. They smell amazing,- :{ Echo note: Who programmed me to smell?? Why is this something that I can do?? ‘:3 }:  -but combined with the classroom setting it becomes unclear if she is treating them more like colleagues or students. When Holly speaks her voice is gentle but holds a bit of a teasing humor in it. 
Holly: How are you two lovebirds feeling today?
Casi flushes at the word lovebirds but tries to ignore it. His voice is noticeably a bit higher when he speaks. 
Casi: Much better thank you! I do apologize for my… Outburst yesterday. Traveling can be stressful. 
Holly: Which is exactly why I refuse to do it. Did you manage to find a place to sleep last night that wasn’t your car? 
Casi: Am…Professor Amaryllis made the hotel arrangements, actually. 
Amy: It’s rather easy to do when you only have to book one hotel room. 
The statement itself is rather vague and casual, but the way Casi visibly reacts makes it clear what Amy is referring to. They chuckle under their breath at the dismayed look on Casi’s face, apparently finding a bit of humor themselves in the teasing. Almost as if to change the subject, Casi clears his throat and picks up a cookie.
Casi: Anyway… Umm.. Any results with the DNA test? 
Holly: The tests confirmed the Sneasel is in fact a cloned specimen. 
Casi: That isn’t possible.. If she was then I would’ve known about it. There’d be a record of her! 
Holly: It’s the truth. The evidence of the cloning process is clear in her genetic code. Casi: We don’t even have anyone working in Hoenn right now–
Holly: Are there any other programs that you lent DNA samples to? 
Casi: None that I’m aware of…
Holly: Then it may be best to get to the bottom of this quickly.
Casi starts nervously drumming her fingers against the table. She gets increasingly fidgety throughout the conversation, finishing one cookie and taking another, and then another, she doesn’t seem to notice how many she’s eating in her distracted state. Despite the obvious discomfort with the topic she tries to keep her tone level and respectful whenever possible- A tone of disbelief, nervousness maybe, but not anger. 
Casi: Could you trace the DNA back to anything specific? 
Holly: I wouldn’t have access to any of those records. 
Casi: I suppose I do… Next time I’m in Sinnoh I can look through our records for anything…
Amy: Think you’ll find something? Casi: I sincerely hope that I don’t…
Casi: ...Could you run the tests again? 
Holly: It won’t change anything, but I can rerun the sample if it will put you at ease. Casi: I need to be completely sure. If she truly is a cloned specimen then that’s a serious accusation to level.-
Amy hums and squeezes Casi’s hand- Bringing him a little bit back to the present and out of his head. Casi looks over at them and then down to the now half full plate of cookies and the new one that he’s just picked up. 
Casi: …These cookies are good.
Holly: Thank you! I made them myself.
{: Transcription ends :} {: Now imagine this conversation over and over again and [Doppelganger] eating cookies until he's sick and you have a rough outline of the past week!! ':3 :}
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poke-cove · 8 months ago
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Oh fuck me with a stick I forgot to open the box of catboy on Mt. Coronet, I was too busy SULKING
Oh well I'll just open it while hanging out with my bestie. Prepare yourself Arki you're going to deal with whatever hell my catboy'd self will raise
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starspatter · 1 year ago
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>me, revisiting Digimon Adventure 01 and 02 (subbed) after all these years and rediscovering my love for Ken
>learn that his original VA also voiced Len/Ren from Shaman King >just now finding out his new VA is also Fuuta in Milgram *confused incoherent noises*
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homeless202 · 2 years ago
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the first time EY "stole" those headphones, the shop owner didn't have any proof it was him. despite this, he insisted on calling his dad, proposed to call the cops, and showed very little sympathy for a child literally getting beaten up by their father right in front of him.
-> why?
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he felt disrespected bc of how EY talked to him. it stopped being abt the headphones before his dad even arrived. he just wanted to see the kid who disrespected him shut up, apologize, and admit he was wrong. especially considering how many people were watching and talking abt their argument -> gotta save face and restore your credibility & pride.
this is why, in a way, his dad wasn't wrong to tell him to apologize bc he knew that's what the shop owner wanted to hear. sometimes, the quickest way to solve the issue is to give the person what they want (in this case, an apology) and walk away.
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Writing CK fanfic like "yeah everything's the same but h*wkm**n and yas/metri are absolutely not a fucking thing and never will be again"
MFs be breaking up literally as soon as I get my hands on them akjuusoygh
my favourite type of fan fictions are like. Slightly canon divergent. Like everything is the same but we fix this one annoying detail you can’t stand and let it butterfly effect the whole story.
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moldy-flowers · 3 months ago
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Actually tweaking bc in the little modern naruto au in my head that I'll never be able to write something about bc it changes every 4 seconds, I'm realising that I might have to make Naruto transphobic against Sasuke. Purely bc Naruto was canonically transphobic against an armadillo.
Anyways that's how my day is going hbu.
#See the thing his he was already slightly homophobic but when Sasuke pre transition came out as lesbian Naruto started to like understand#Then team seven went to a pride parade and actually being gay looks sick asf and then Naruto had a Pan awakening arc#But now I realise that be probably won't be as immediately accepting of Sasuke going from ftm#But because its Sasuke he's trying hard to understand but he just kinda doesn't#Sigh I'll just have to get killer B to knock some sense into him#Then Sakura; bc heterosexual SasuSaku may be a cool ship but lesbian SasuSaku is my roman empire and it makes for such a nicer ship#Modern basic Ssk got together in like uni off and on but Modern cool Ssk have been in love since Sakura said when she became a doctor#she'd create a genderswitchinator for him when they were like 9 watching Phineus and Ferb#Then Naruto very confused said “but Sakura you can't switch genders [Deadname]'s a girl” then he and Sakura started arguing#And Sasuke had a crisis that sent him back a few years#I'm actually writing too much I think about this too much probably#Sigh if only I had the motivation to write a 300k long fic about modern Naruto...#No one would read it but It would probably be very fun to do#Naruto#uchiha sasuke#naruto shippuden#Naruto uzumaki#I already have the arc where Sasukes parents and family struggle with understanding him not Naruto too#But then again it IS Naruto so he'd probably get over it faster than other people#But oooohh I'll probably have to think about him actually saying some really harmful things to Sasuke on accident#UGH can they never have something nice for fucking ONCE#Its always “Sasuke has extreme dismorphia and self hatred from being raised very traditionally” or “Sakura has an ED bc the beauty standard#In modernJapan are probably way way worse than in a world where they're all ninja focusing on not dying and Sakura already had a bad view#on her body THEN so imagine her now"#But it's never “team seven go out on a field trip and NO ONE gets hit by a truck”#modern naruto#Moldy-flowers
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ghostwhippet · 2 months ago
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From Scratch
Nutrition Info: Johnny/Reader; 4k; a meetcute launched by Reader's inability to cook reasonable portions, and Johnny's... well, just Johnny
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No matter how long you live alone, you can’t get the hang of cooking for one person. Even when you try to make a single-serving meal instead of batch cooking, somehow it balloons out of control. Wasting food makes you feel awful, but you can only freeze so much.
One evening, desperate and utterly fed up, you go kick gently at a neighbor’s door, both hands full, trying to mimic a knock with your shoe. Jason, you think his name was? Striking blue eyes, big frame, a cute cropped mohawk, amazing brogue, and he’s always been cordial when you’ve run into him around the building. Friendly, but not too friendly.
He’s understandably confused by your request at first, but seems happy enough for the food, and takes it around your repeated apologies–for bothering him, for existing, for anything you can find, really.
Unfortunately, not even forcing yourself to go and do all of that manages to pierce your shite sense of volume. Your trips to his door do get less awkward over time, though. And Johnny, his name is, always has sparklingly clean dishes and containers to return in exchange for the full ones. 
Eventually he just starts showing up at your place instead and eats with you at your bar counter. He didn’t really ask, and you definitely didn’t, but there he is all the same, and… if you're honest? He’s just so easy to be around, it quickly feels natural having him there. He puts you off your guard, puts you at ease and makes you smile, like those are somehow the most natural things in the world.
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From that first night, Johnny has insisted on helping with dishes. Starting the second, he’s always got groceries with him. Even manages to talk you out of your discomfort over accepting them, so well that on his fourth night, you’ve got a small shopping list ready. He’s cheeky, you don’t think he’ll mind. And he is right, after all: you're probably feeding him at least three or four nights out of the week, what with all the leftovers.
You start eating better, and trying new things you'd always planned on “getting around to,” now that you've got a reason to cook beyond not starving. Everything comes out fine the first time you make it, when you’re closely following a recipe, and Johnny has no qualms about trying anything you put in front of him. You’ve never met someone so genuinely un-fussy when it comes to food.
A couple months after he’s started eating at your place, he disappears for a while. “Work trip,” is all he'll say, and you don’t pry, even though you really want to. 
Once he’s back, he starts coming over weekend afternoons sometimes. You do brunch with beer or fancy drinks in champagne flutes, or occasional breakfast on the roof before other people are awake, him in a big hoodie or jumper, and you wearing a thick blanket like it's trying to digest you, looking like a half-drowned cat because no living being is meant to be awake at such an hour. 
You cut fruit into mangled flowers and vague geometric shapes for the brunches, usually while just spending time with him. He tries his hand at it once, with you pulling up videos, laughing the whole time you’re explaining how it’s supposed to work, and the utter bastard is better at it on his first go than you were after weeks. His hands are confoundingly steady, and his hand-eye coordination borders on the unnatural.
That’s probably the official start of his sous chef arc. And that’s what has him spending a night judging your knives and marveling, repeatedly and loudly, that you still have all your fingers.
You might put a piece of eggshell into his omelet that night in retaliation, and he might not even have the decency to react to it.
“...Johnny I can hear it crunching, oh my God would you spit it out!” You manage between laughter that’s got your face hurting.
That happens a lot around him. Smiling so much it hurts.
“Nah, i’s nice texture,” he says around the mouthful, then starts enunciating the longer words. “Very advanced technique. Shows a great awareness of the culinary experience–”
“You’re being such a prat. Why are you being such a prat!”
He talks over you as if he can’t hear you, as if he’s doing some mockingly posh review. “And honestly, the crunching–” he pauses and chomps down on the shell for effect, and how is it still intact, “it really engages the senses. Keeps me immersed in my dining experience.”
You regret loaning him your cooking books. Never again.
After that, though, he steals your knives, takes them home, and they come back so sharp you can cut windowpane slices of potato. He offers to teach you how to do it yourself–after stipulating with heart-clenching eagerness that he’s happy to come over and do it for you any time.
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Johnny gets weirdly into shopping farmer’s markets, walking around discovering new produce and varieties of things he’s never seen before. “Fuck would I know tomatoes come in this color? Look at this thing, it’s like a feckin’... it’s a wee lumpy sunset, isn’t it? And this! Like someone took the heart of a dragon,” his voice had gone terribly dramatic, and you definitely hadn’t covered your face, “and stuck it on a bush somewhere.”
“Baby how are you so huge, but so adorable?” You don't know when the pet names started, but you know he started them; sometimes it feels like you two grew up together. 
You like the challenge of the new and unexpected ingredients that come from his trips, and by this point, he’s keeping your kitchen pretty stocked with whatever oddball pantry items you ask for, so you're set up to deal with almost anything. But on rare occasions he’ll call you with a question, too. You’ve had each other’s numbers for a while, it just made coordinating easier. 
“Oi can you make sommat with uh… fiddlehead ferns?”
You always can, whatever he asks about. It just takes a quick internet search to find out if you can tackle it that same night, or if it needs to wait for another day. Sometimes it ends up disastrous, but like a shot, Johnny has you laughing or throwing something at him (usually-but-not-always also while laughing) before guilt or shame can get a proper foothold.
There was a night when he was too excited about something to wait for you to answer the door when he knocked, and since then, he just sort of comes in on his own after he announces himself—at least when you know to expect him. That feels right, too, just like having him at your counter had.
You’re feeding the both of you almost every night of the week by now, even if you’re still not cooking often. You like being around him so much, you can’t imagine doing it less, not even when cooking is the last thing you want to be doing. It’s like there’s a bubbly little sun in your chest when he’s around.
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Johnny makes you so happy, in fact, and you’re so afraid of losing your time with him, it’s nearly six months before the first time you have to tap out of a dinner, too knackered to make yourself even casually presentable, nevermind cook so much as instant noodles.
He reacts like it’s no problem at all, which of course he’d do, because he’s wonderful, but you don’t manage to keep your heart from dropping that he’s not at least a little sad. That he doesn’t, maybe, look forward to the nights like you do. You know your arrangement is practical, and he’s never been over unless there was food involved, but… well… seeing him seems to have become rather… vital to you.
Which means it’s better to put it away, anyhow, right?
So when, an hour after you’d texted him and basically all he’d said was No problem, thinking takeout, any votes?, he’s coming through your front door with delivery bags and talking a mile a minute like it’s just another night, you're left with your mouth open and your hand on the knob, because… because he's here.
You're not cooking, but he's still here.
You just stand there gobsmacked as he sits on the couch, nattering away, half the food out before he even realizes you’re still playing doorstop. He asks if you’re having the time of your life or if you’re going to come sit down, those horrible (wonderful) crinkles at the sides of his eyes, brows pulled up in the middle.
He looks confused when you say you want to freshen up, like he can’t see that your hair might’ve lost a row with a feral rodent, or that you’re wearing clothes that shouldn’t even be outside of a bin, nevermind on a person. He just tells you the food will get cold, and that it’ll be no good that way.
So you run your hands through your hair and sit, subdued and uncertain like you haven’t been around him in ages, as he amiably fills the silence. You know he can tell you’re not right, but he’s just… acting like it’s ok that you aren’t.
Midway through the meal, he reaches forward to grab a container and put it in front of you, and it makes his knee come up against yours. 
It doesn’t move away when he sits back.
Then, as the night wears on and the very most jagged edges of your weariness have eased, he makes a joke and you bump your shoulder into him in retaliation. It pushes your legs flush… and neither of you do anything to separate them. He just keeps on being Johnny like nothing is different, like nothing strange is happening, like he can’t see how bloody flushed you must be, like the room hasn't turned to glass and burst, leaving the both of you toppling through the air.
You're not stupid, so you have to tell yourself repeatedly that he’s just trying to comfort you. He’s acting completely normal otherwise—for Johnny—and you look like a person in need of a friend tonight. And same as him, you’re at all your meal nights instead of off with friends or dates. At least for him, it’s because of his career. You haven’t even seen him bringing up a new fling in ages.
…You’re not stupid. Right?
After the food is finished, Johnny putters about cleaning up, working his way around your kitchen like he knows it exactly as well as he does. He puts all but one container of leftovers in your fridge. 
You hug your knees comfortably, just sort of watching him, too full of static to be paranoid about it, and he either doesn’t realize or isn’t bothered by it. Not being a complete creep, you don’t keep it up for too long, anyhow. You’ve got plenty to occupy your thoughts.
He surprises you on his way out by casually setting a mug in front of you. He’d made you something hot to drink while he was cleaning up, and you were so spaced you hadn’t realized. He just gives you a little smile, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder with a stroke of his thumb, says, “Wednesday, yeah?” (the night of your next normal get-together), and moves on toward the door. All normal. But there’s some metal in your chest painfully bending itself into unaccustomed shapes, jabbing places that aren’t used to the pressure, pushing into your windpipe until it’s hard to breathe, and you can’t stop yourself from telling him that you made up a new seasoning blend for popcorn, if he’d maybe like to watch a movie before he goes.
He stands there by the door looking at you just for a split second too long, opens his mouth, closes it, then settles right back onto the couch up next to you. He reaches out an arm and pulls you gently into his side, moving in a way that makes it an invitation and not a demand, while he’s talking about what to watch.
You fall asleep there. So does he.
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Things turn a bit funny after that in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. At the surface, everything is the same. But nothing feels the same. Every time there’s a tease, casual touches, close quarters, you have to chant not stupid not stupid not stupid on repeat in your head. He’s just Johnny, that’s all. The guy you could have grown up with.
You keep up the dinners and the weekends, and eventually, finally realize that with him around to take all your extras, you can bake. It’s something you’ve wanted to try forever, but recipes don’t really make single servings, and you never had anyone to pawn off the other 22 muffins or ¾ of the cake onto, or the sheet of croissants, because you absolutely want to try the most fussy, difficult things. And it turns out, when at last he tells you what he does, that Johnny works at the local military base–which at least explains his size–so if he can’t polish something off, well, he knows some blokes.
You’re so excited after that, things almost seem to return to normal. He even comes over and hangs out while you’re baking sometimes. Just knocking about, licking the beaters and the spoons and the bowls, doing dishes as you go, fidgeting with this or that, all while knowing you’re equally as likely to produce something inedible as you are a treat.
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Johnny tells you a little about his career one evening. He says that it means he’s in real danger often, there’s a lot of secrecy with people in his personal life, long absences and surprise ones, shit pay, and likely a brief expiration date. (You don’t really let that last one in). He’s got a bit of a funny look in his eyes when he shares about all of it. Quite focused on you, in a way? It makes your cheeks heat. It isn’t as if it’s on you to approve of his life.
But at least now you understand why he’s on his own. And you suppose you’re a bit small, because while you’re incredibly sad for him, part of you is thrilled that it means he’s not likely to be swept away by someone else too soon.
You just gather yourself up, smile, and tell him that at least he’s spending the time he has as best he can, which is a hell of a lot more than a lot of people do–although you personally hope there’s a lot more of it. And that… at the end, you're glad for all the times you're involved.
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Johnny’s leaning against the counter while you fold nuts and rum-soaked fruit into a thick batter, his normally busy hands jammed into his pockets, posture a bit off, and so close you almost keep elbowing him on accident, the two of you just bantering back and forth. 
You turn your head toward him to fire back, and–
–his mouth is just there, on yours.
He lingers, but doesn’t move otherwise. It’s… testing, you think. You feel his lips shake against yours, in fact, just once. 
Your shock dies fast and your eyes slip closed, and while it’s a brief kiss, when he pulls away, you don’t open them. You can’t. Because if you’re honest, you’ve probably been gone for him since the first time you gave him a friendly hug goodnight, and it’s only ever gotten worse. If you open your eyes, this won’t be real, or it won’t have happened, or it will shatter somehow.
After a pause, he runs the back of a finger down your temple, trailing the side of your face to your jaw. You still won’t open your eyes, so he just toys with your face until you do.
He’s got a soul-crushing smile at the corners of his eyes.
“Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he admits into the quiet.
“...Oh?” Your voice is embarrassingly, unhelpfully breathy. It’d probably be mortifying, if you had the mental capacity to fully register embarrassment at the moment.
He pauses, smile making its way to his lips, and curling them up at the corners, bit by bit. He cants his head, just a little, like he wants to see you from another angle. “Aye. …Might’ve been since the first time I saw you at the mailboxes.”
“Oh?” 
That had been one of the first times you remember ever seeing him. He never said a word to you other than, “Mornin’” or “Evenin’,” if he said anything at all.
His smile blooms until you can see his teeth. “You were wearing this little shirt. Green, thin. Bit worn, like it was a favorite. Showed a wee spot of skin at your back.” His fingers brush the spot, soft and testing, near the base of your spine, and it jolts you from scalp to toes. “Might’ve… lost some time, thinking about what it’d feel like if I slid my hand up there.” He toys with the hem of your shirt and steps in, voice going deeper and rougher around the edges. “Might’ve imagined pushing it up, getting a bit closer. Really might’ve imagined putting your back up to the slots, mo–”
You kiss him this time, before he can go on, and it’s anything but testing.
And just like everything else about him, this fits. 
His mouth fits against yours. His body fits against yours. And as if some band of control snaps, so abruptly you swear you feel it jolt through his skin, he's got you up on the counter, his thighs between yours, both of you already breathing hard.
His hands on you are perfect, calloused, slipping up under the back of your shirt, smoothing and gripping, making your chest and your thighs feel molten. It's ravenous, like he just has to touch your skin, has to get you closer. You arch toward him, fingers running up through his hair, legs curling around his and pulling him nearer.
His hips are carefully, stubbornly, infuriatingly back from you, but the kiss is so full of need, so close, that some of his breaths sound hollow against your mouth. It's like he can't decide whether inhaling or devouring you is more important, so he just doesn't choose.
When you're at the point of moaning unintentionally, of hungry little sounds forcing their way out of your chest, of your hips moving against the counter in desperation, when you're moments from outright begging, Johnny pulls back, and goes further when you try to chase his mouth.
His lips are red and full, his face dark--much worse when he catches sight of how completely drunk you must look--and he's panting. His fingers dig into your hips like he's trying to keep one or both of you from drowning. He squeezes his eyes shut.
You don't mean to, you really don't, but you look down, and lord help you but–
“That looks painful,” you tell him. Your voice sounds like it's been run over a washboard. He's tented against his denim, and his size is… proportional.
…You can't seem to remember how to make yourself look up.
“Really rather not talk about my cock just now, love,” he gravels, fingers clenching briefly against you. His head tips forward onto your shoulder, breaths panting out against your collar bone, leaving you to pick up every bit of heat he's trying to get out of himself.
You hum, teasing. “Shame, because I can't think of anything I'd rather talk ab—”
His big paw covers your mouth. “For the love of every Saint, I’m beggi—”
You cut him off right back. By licking his palm.
He recoils in horror, but the moment your eyes meet, you both burst into laughter, made worse every time he tries to tell you how disgusting that is, something about his sisters as kids, you don't know what else.
You're the first to sober, breathing almost back to normal, thoughts already whirring on fast-forward. You look down, pulling your knees together, hands gripping the edge of the counter. “Are we…. Will we be ok, after this?”
You peek up to see him looking at you like you're daft.
“‘S been the better part of a year,” he says softly, moving forward and running his thumbs over your knees. Asking your legs to make room again, to let him get close again. “Have you really not figured it out, all this time?” 
Your legs open hesitantly, and he steps in and, when you look up at him, kisses one corner of your mouth, then the other, slow and warm and so tender it feels like your chest is cracking right down the center.
Eyes closed, brows a little pinched, you murmur, “We can't all be SAS savants, Johnny.” Maybe you know. Maybe. But it has been all this time, so maybe you need to hear it, too.
He's still kissing, pace unhurried and savouring, making his way to your jaw and just beneath it. But it's calming now, somewhere between reverential and still trying to bring the both of you down. Himself especially, you think.
“Then let me spell it out for you. Gladly.” He noses up against the bottom of your ear and roughs, “You are fucking stuck with me. Glued. Bloody welded.” He huffs a laugh and leans back upright—but not all the way, not too far back. “This isnae a new thing for me. You know that, right? I just….” He shakes his head and abandons the thought, “Hell, my mates have already been asking when they can come over for dinner, the dobbers.”
Your brows shoot up. “You've talked about me at work?”
He looks down, and while his face is in half a scowl, you'd swear he does it to hide a slight flush, too. “Haven't shut up about you, more like. Should hear what my Lieutenant– Ach, nevermind that.”
You hurry to say that they're welcome any time, but it makes him scowl fully.
“Not exactly keen on the idea just yet.” He puts his arms around you, buries his face in your neck, and just stands there, breathing you in. He mutters into the crook of your shoulder, “Mind if I stay like this for a bit? Just while I, uh… calm down.”
His hips are still well back from you. You’re not sure you’ve ever adored and hated him so much at once.
“I’d really like that,” you tell him softly, arms going around his ribs, hands on his shoulders, chest to chest.
It's warm and resounding like this, so after a spell, without thinking, you bite his shoulder. Just sink your teeth in and leave them there. It’s not even entirely conscious, it's just so comfortable and comforting.
“All good, there, wee piranha?” he eventually asks, a smile in his voice.
You detach instantly. “Ah, sorry! I, uh, might have a tiny bit of an oral fixation.”
He groans. “Are ye trying to do me in?”
“I’m not the one who said we had to stop, Mr. Military Discipline.”
His eyes darken in a flash, but he tamps down on it just as quickly and gets that godawful cocky look on his face, instead. “Pardon me for not wanting to rush something that really matters.” His tone goes so soft at the end that you can’t even be mad at him--exactly as you know he intended, the great bastard.
“How did I not know what a sadist you are?”
And that look means he’s about to make you eat your words.
“Johnny I will happily kill you in your sleep.”
“I could handle that. Means you'd be in my bed, aye?”
He pulls your hands up from the death grip they've found on the edge of the counter and laces your fingers together. “I dinnae….” He clears his throat, frowns. “Just being away on deployment is shite now, and I love what I do. But I miss you while I'm gone, think about you back here all the bloody time, and we havnae even….”
When he doesn’t finish, you whisper, heart clenching with the realization, “You really don't want to rush this.”
He laughs quietly like he wants to argue. But what he says is, “No. I don't. But while that's true….” He steps in, chin ducking, eyes darkening even as they shine, voice lowering. “What do you say we turn the oven off? I've a funny feeling you willnae be getting around to that bake today.”
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