#working almost 12 hrs a day around kids is exhausting

[dearestgojo]

I need to start going on walks again cause the way I've gained weight these last two years is not okay 😭, like I don't wanna be skinny or even "healthy fit" but just feel good about my body again. I wanna glow again like when I was 22/23. I just need that extra bit of motivation to go on walks before and after work again...maybe fixing my sleep schedule will help.

[imaginedreamwrite]

Just had my husband make me go take a nap cause I've been working for like 2 weeks straight (some days both jobs so like 12-14 hrs day)

Would love to see one of your SilverFoxes (your choice, whoever hasn't had enough love) do the same. Like their girl has been working too hard and they know she needs to rest, but she can't seem to make herself stop and relax

He came up the stairs after dealing with a few things in the office to see you still up and hunched over the coffee table. Steve had stopped himself on the second to last step and watched you, his eyebrows knitted on his forehead and his lips pursed in such a way that he could have been scowling.

It was almost a quarter past one and you were still awake, still working on the hand beaded snowflakes you were trying to make for your kids before Christmas. It was your passion, being a kindergarten teacher, and Steve didn’t want to hinder your passions but you didn’t know when enough was enough.

You didn’t know when to quit and it was up to your older biker boyfriend to make you stop before you exhausted yourself.

“No, no, no….I’m almost done, I promise!” You had protested before he could even cart you away, your eyes wide and teary, your bottom lip quaking in a pout.

“Ladybug, you’re supposed to be teaching tomorrow. You haven’t gotten a wink of sleep and you’re gonna be up at 6:30.” Steve had gentle taken the beads from your hand and set them down, and then he worked on pulling you up.

“Steve stop,” you whined and stomped your foot, protesting despite stumbling into him, “I need to finish.”

“No, baby.” He lifted you from the couch and tucked you against his chest. “You need sleep.”

“My kids…I need to finish, Steve please-“ you looped your arms around his neck and rest your head against his shoulder. “I need to finish-“

“You’re gonna listen, ladybug.” Steve spoke firmly, demanding your attention after you whimpered. “You need to sleep, you’re going to let me call in for you because you need rest-“

“Please no…I promised them-“

“-there’s two days left of school before break. I’ll help you make the rest tomorrow after you have a good night sleep.” Steve had set you down on the bed, gently peeling away your layers until you were in a tank top and your panties.

“You’ll help?” Your voice was growing weary as sleep welcomed you. “Promise?”

“I promise, sweetie.” Steve tucked you in and kissed your cheek, his fingers brushing hair out of your face. “I’ll go lock up and turn off the lights, be back up soon.”

[timeoverload]

Today was another long day. I had a tough time waking up this morning because the tornado sirens woke me up not long after I had gone to bed. I didn't fall back asleep until almost 12:30 and I was so mad. I woke up later than I wanted to but I still made it to work on time.

I had to stay late even though I felt terrible. It was too busy for me to leave on time. I didn't leave until 6:30. I had 4 add-ons so I wasn't thrilled about that. I am not in a great mood and I have been trying not to be grumpy but it's so hard. I am just so unhappy. That place is like a vacuum and it sucks all of the joy out of me. I'm tired of all of the stupid drama. I try to avoid it but it's impossible.

I also got a verbal warning again for sick days so that's just wonderful. I was complaining to my boss about it and I told her that I have never had another job that would threaten to write me up if I called in sick too many times. It's bullshit and maybe if we had adequate staff, it wouldn't be an issue. They just don't want to hire more people. She doesn't like the policy either so it was nice of her to listen to me complain. I am just so fed up with it.

I am so fucking tired of that place. I hate it so much! I have stopped interacting with most of the people in my department. I will say hi but that's about it. I am too exhausted to try to socialize most of the time. The morning team lead drains my social battery within the first hour of the day so I'm tired of talking by the time anyone else shows up. I don't see the point anymore because I know that none of them really want to hang out with me. We don't have anything in common. I don't feel like I fit in and I never have.

The only person there that really goes out of their way to talk to me is the guy that has a crush on me. This is the same guy that sent me a bunch of weird selfies. He is driving me nuts. I have snapped at him a few times lately and he still hasn't seemed to take the hint. He asked me how I was doing at least 6 times today. He always tells me that my presence was missed whenever I have a day off or when I'm sick. It's a nice thing for someone to say but it makes me uncomfortable to hear him say that to me when he never says that to anyone else when they are gone. I didn't think much of it at the time, but he bought me a new badge reel a while back and I realized recently that he didn't get one for everyone else so that is odd. It was nice of him to do that for me but I don't need him to buy me things to try to get me to like him. I know he has been trying to get me to hang out with him because he frequently asks me what I am doing over the weekend. I usually have to make shit up to make him think that I'm busy. Earlier, I could feel eyes on me and I turned around to see him staring at me very intensely. I asked him what was wrong and he started stuttering so it got awkward really fast and I had to leave the room. He acts nervous around me a lot. He is constantly coming over to my station to ask me questions and I know that he already knows the answers to them. He pretends to be surprised every time even though I have explained things to him before. I can't take him seriously. His constant joking around is getting so old and it's annoying. I like to joke around but not all the time. He asks me weird questions a lot and I'm supposed to be ok with that because he does that to everyone. He asks everyone stuff like, "do you think my mom loves me?" because he thinks it's funny. Everyone is used to him saying weird shit so they think everything he says is a joke so I can't really talk to people about it. I don't think he is joking with me a lot of the time but he tries to cover it up. He makes a lot more innuendos when he's around me but he hasn't said anything bad enough for me to talk to HR about it. He makes flirty jokes towards me and then he says he's just kidding. He always says he's kidding about everything but that doesn't mean it's ok. I have heard him say, "I just miss her" many times when I was around and I ask him who he's talking about but he just laughs. A couple weeks ago he asked if I wanted to go cry in the bathroom together and that was fucking weird. He said it was a joke but I didn't think it was funny. He is overly helpful in a bad way. He is always asking to do things for me while I'm already in the middle of working on it. He has told me about his life plans and has shared details about the things he wants to do for his future wife like how he's going to provide for her so she doesn't have to work. It's like he is trying to be persuasive towards me or something because he knows that I have problems. He is very nosy about my health and it's none of his business. I don't like that and I try to avoid those conversations as much as possible now. I know his family won't let him move out of the house until he is married and so I think he is getting desperate. I don't share anything with him anymore because I don't want him to know any more about me. I don't want to give him the wrong idea. I am trying to stay away from him as much as I can. I just want him to go away. I wish I could tell him to fuck off.

I have been feeling like garbage most of the day. I thought that I would feel better after having an extra day off but I don't. I am so tired. I was having heart palpitations again and I'm trying to figure out why I have them more often at work than anywhere else. I don't know if it's because I'm moving too fast or getting too stressed out. I did have an energy drink this morning and I'm sure that was probably the main cause. I can't have those anymore and I'm sad about it. I also think I have an electrolyte imbalance right now even though I drink tons of water. It is probably from having too much acid built up in my body. I know that I am still not eating enough and I have a really hard time staying consistent. I thought that my appetite would increase if I started taking probiotics again but it hasn't yet. My doctor never called me about my blood work so I guess they aren't that concerned because everything else was normal. I am still worried about my kidneys even though my eGFR improved. I think that my palpitations could also be from oxygen deprivation because I spend 9-10 hours wearing a mask every day. I only take it off for breakfast and lunch or when eye cases are done for the day. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes. I hope that I'm going to be ok and that there is nothing wrong with my heart. I will do my best to keep moving.

I've also been pissed off about the state of the world today but I don't have the energy to go on a rant about it even though I want to. I'm sure that a lot of people don't want to be constantly reminded about how bleak things are anyway. It is overwhelming. I know I can't focus on it all the time because it is not good for my mental health but I do care a lot. I wish there was more I could do.

It is nice to be home now. I'm not going to think about anything stressful the rest of the night. I need to try to eat some more. I have been snacking because that's easier than eating a meal and I don't get it. It is better than nothing I suppose. I had a boost when I got home and I will probably have a second one in a little while because they help. I think I need to make it a habit to drink one when I wake up in the morning too.

Tomorrow should be an easier day and I only have one eye case. I think there are only 20 other surgeries so that's not bad. I am going to help the eye coordinator (not the mean one) do some reorganizing and modify some of the trays so they aren't as much of a hassle to wash and reprocess so that should be fun. I am just happy that I won't have to run around as much. I am planning on leaving at 4 or earlier since I stayed an hour late today. I don't think that anyone is going to argue with me about it. I am looking forward to having a long weekend.

I need to get ready for bed soon. I don't have much else to say at the moment. I'm going to try not to stay up too late tonight. I'm happy that it's not going to storm anymore so I don't have to worry about that waking me up again. Hopefully tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. Thanks for listening to me vent. :) 💖💖💖

[fizzingwizard]

;______; just heard that from September we’re gonna have three students in our cluster who are under 1 year old... (5 in the school total)

aaahhh im exhausted just thinking about it

and whats crazy is in one of the classes with under 1 yos there is a kid who is between 1-2 yo and she cannot walk yet. We have been trying to help her learn and have begun wondering if there is some reason beyond her mother just didn’t really encourage her to walk before. (Like maybe she needs leg braces etc.) So far no news on that but this kid only drags her feet around, obviously she needs constant help, and there are 12 other kids in the class, two of whom are under 1 and three teachers, HOW are they supposed to do it???

and the class that will have three under 1s has two first year teachers in it, that makes me so nervous... They’re both awesome coworkers, this is no shade on them, but under 1s can be TOUGH, it’s SO easy for them to get hurt. idk it feels like an accident waiting to happen.

i’ve been at schools where 5 students was an entire class, if we’re gonna have this many under 1s we should just have a class for them, come on! I love them but they are twice the work of kids on year older than them.

Also the recommended teacher-student ration for 1-3 yos is 1:6, which we abide by, but I believe it’s actually 1:3 or 1:4 when the kids are belong 18/12 mos. Apparently the head office does not care.

These kids are not in my class, I currently teach 2-3s, however I am a long care teacher and I look after them during morning and after care. I do their nap and their snack and play time supervision etc. From 10-2 they’re part of their class, but the rest of the day they belong to all of us.

More work ranting under the cut because I guess I just need to vent to the air.

And we have a LOT of students now - two clusters of going on 30 in each, in very small classrooms where the teachers are expected to watch them like a hawk AND keep constantly busy with numerous tasks at the same time.

Plus our prep time has been cut down this year despite additional work getting put on us, and we have no extra help.

If one teacher is out sick, no one gets prep time.

Don’t remember if I whined about this before, but a month or so ago we had a meeting in which the leader said “If you find you don’t have enough prep time, that’s on you to manage your time better.” It was super condescending and annoying. I’m like, dude, my contract says I get 1 hour prep and 1 hour break. We never ever EVER get the full two hours (and I should mention this is never consecutive, it’s 15 min here, 30 min there, 1 full hour if you’re really lucky). It’s usually at most 1 hr 45. But a 30 min break is fine! I’d love to take a 30 min break. Almost never do. Way too busy.

Like, I won’t get into it, but the laundry list of Stuff To Do recently has been ENORMOUS. In my class, I have 19 students. One of my co-teachers is part time, meaning she’s not around to help during much of prep time, and the other is a leader meaning she’s constantly in meetings or doing leader assignments. They are both fantastic co-workers, but yeah, this means I do ALL the class stuff. I prepare all the crafts, I do a ton of the organizing, and I’m often the only teacher from my class available in the afternoons because part-time teacher went home and leader teacher is in a meeting. So I end up with a lot of the after care stuff.

We have to hand out these big projects that teachers are responsible for preparing for each student on 8/16. We know these are coming and prep for them as soon as possible, but like, I won’t get into this either lol, but it’s so hard. It’s time-consuming by itself, and made worse because all the school computers are crap (like takes-15-min-to-start, another 10 to open the browser, 5 to go to the website, then it freezes, then 5 more, another freeze, etc) and like you have 15 min break time hahahahaha.

I wanted to get such a head start that I just started doing what I could back in the beginning of the year but we lit can’t do the bulk of the work until a certain kind of envelope is delivered and that doesn’t come till summer for some stupid reason. Soooo our long prep days in April when there are no kids around... can we use those to prep for this project? Heck no!

Anyway. This year’s is due on 8/16. This coming week we are off for obon break. This year also, the company is doing the project slightly differently. Instead of staggering what class gives out their projects to their students when, we all have to do it at once. We are our company’s biggest school, sooo my honest thought is no one at the head office thought about us when they made this change. The other schools don’t have to stagger anyway, they have at most two classes. We have four.

So this means everyone is printing their projects at the same time. For one student, you need 10 sheets on A3 paper. For my class of 19, that is 190 sheets of paper. For four classes, we’re over 700 sheets total. THAT IS A LOT OF PAPER.

So I get to work this morning and boss says “Yeah so we’re out of A3 paper.”

!!!

IT’S DUE MONDAY.

There was a little bit left so I just charged and printed as much of my stuff as I could in the morning before anyone else could. Then, miraculously, another packet of A3 paper appeared out of nowhere, and we were able to print most of the rest of our students’ projects. (My coworker who is a leader has not printed hers yet because she is super busy and isn’t finished. Again, she’s an awesome coworker, I wish I could have helped her more, but uh, I’m also swamped and not taking breaks, so. Hopefully she can do it before we really do run out of A3 paper.)

Getting more paper is no big deal, it’s just that no one has the time, and this is due Monday.

So I was super stressed. Sooooo super stressed for such a dumbbbb reason. And I don’t understand why these projects have to go out on Monday anyway. Some kids don’t even come to school on Mondays. Like. Just make sure they get them next week, isn’t that good enough?? Why make us stress and panic.

Everyone else seemed fine though, I was the only one tearing my hair out because I’m the type who finishes everything a day early so I have a day to check it over... I am not spontaneous and I hate to rush...

I lit told my coworkers, because regardless of the paper situation we are still behind because we have not had any time to organize the projects, that I will just stay late tomorrow to do it. It’s the Friday before a break so I don’t mind too much. I am really tired tho and would of course rather just go home and sleep but. I’ve done this before. Finishing up this project will take 1.5 hours - 2 hours at the current state it’s in, IF I can just sit down and do it uninterrupted. (Have I mentioned these projects are HEAVY?? And there’s 19 of them?? It’s a big job just to take them out and start putting them together >.<)

So tomorrow evening that is what I will likely be doing -.-;

There are INNUMERABLE other STUPID parts of this project - the idea behind it is great, but the way we are required to make it is absolutely bonkers and desperately needs a revamp but does anyone listen to a preschool teacher? heck no lol

uggh.

I feel better after venting tho.

I like my job, I just wish humans in general gave a shit, not even about quality of life (since obvs that’s expecting too much lol, also as a person with privilege I’m aware I’ve already got it pretty darn good), but just about not making jobs that are ridiculous. Just plan them out better, sheesh. There’s no reason for all this running around. The projects don’t need to be printed. Or they don’t need to be so huge. They don’t need all this fuss and nonsense. They are a good idea, but we could do them in a way that would be sooo much less stressful.

(The funniest part of all being, it’s a project for the parents mainly, and the parents... don’t like it x’D No they really don’t. They are happy to have the project, but first they’ve got to get it home, and it is HUGE and HEAVY and UNWIELDY lmao. And some of them are carrying twin 2 year olds and both of their futons home as well, and we’re like “here you go, two giant projects for you to take home!” And the parents are like “thanks????”)

[cloudevangelist]

People Resilience in times of business resilience

When every organization is looking at staying resilient to face this pandemic, every human being is still in a state of shock from the decadent decline of everything around us. The pressure from COVID continues to mount as we are currently facing a wave 2 and potentially wave 3 will hit hard in the near future.

Let’s pause and go back to PRE-COVID days, life was hectic, people were working, they were going out and enjoying happy hours, dinners, parties, movies, football fans were watching in packed stadiums, some were flying 3 times a week, businesses were flourishing, expanding, over recruiting to mitigate the risk of falling behind.

No alt text provided for this image

Then one December day, a tiny virus, SARS-CoV-2, that is the virus that causes COVID 19, brought the world to its knees. And with it, life as we know it, was abruptly shattered. Some people neglected it; others played it down. As the number of cases kept growing to reach a pandemic level, many stayed in denial. I was one of them!

I kept my plans as they are and traveled with my wife to Italy mid-February where I visited 6 cities in 7 days, driving more than 2500 KMS and flying much, much more. Trip started in Nice, then moved along the amazing Cote d’Azure scenery before reaching my first City in Italy, Genova. Road trips to the Capital of Tuscany, Florence followed by another drive to the romantic Venice. Later I moved to Modena and spent 2 days visiting Maserati, Ferrari, Maranello, a Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese factory, the Aceto Balsamico factory tour, getting to experience the history of what is known as “The Black Gold of Modena” with all my senses. After that I hopped to Milan, visited San Siro (as an avid football fan, visiting stadiums is on top of my hobbies). I wouldn’t have left that part of Italy without visiting “La Vecchia Signora” famous Allianz Stadium.

The One and Only...Massimo Bottura

The epitome of our visit to Italy, was a pre-booked lunch at Osteria Francescana where we had the chance of our lives to meet the one and only “Massimo Bottura”. A dream came true. This culinary experience was out of this world! Highly recommended for foodies!

The whole world was on lockdown, companies started furloughs, unpaid leaves, half salaries and HR Policies started to change drastically. Human Resources departments must undergo a shift in priorities from developing and retaining its top talents to safekeeping the health of employees and keep its workforce and workplace safe. COVID counters jumping high, people locked at home, transformed their homes into multi-purpose facilities, an office, a gym, kids’ playground, and even a movie theater twice a week.

"Zoom-bies"

Meanwhile, business resilience became top trend with an increased focus on people’s wellness and mental health. As Companies were trying to survive and ensure continuity, their employees turned into “Zoom-bies”, some glued to their chairs for 12 hours a day. First couple of weeks were adaptation phase. Every big change needs adaptation then acclimatization, followed by steady incline in tasks, business initiatives, presentations, team meetings and many more activities. While everyone kept tab on the number of infections in their country of residence and worldwide, no one knew where we are heading, when it’s going to stop, how strong is this virus? Comparing it to the Spanish Flu, drawing charts of infections per day vs Number if Deaths per Day vs Per Capita, etc...

Working from home while baby sitting and doing all other house chores drained people. The pre-approved once a week supermarket trip became our only escape window. With every passing day, hope remains a great push through, but a solution or a hard stop still seems distant. Here comes an existential question, how did people stay resilient all this time and kept moving forward?

Those first couple of weeks were a complete shock to the entire system. Later, people started acclimating and integrating new habits into their routine daily lives.

"The Fit and Healthy"

“The Fit and Healthy” moved into putting an exercise routine and a food diet to maintain their shape. You start seeing people resorting to the streets next to where they live, to the forest nearby or even to parking lots. In some countries, lockdowns were total, in other countries partial, where people could exercise for 3 hours daily in the afternoon. Even in the hottest countries, you could observe flocks of people walking on the streets where no cars were allowed. Even after 4 months of exercise, that became a routine that was not coupled with any other outing; previously, they used to go out for a Latte, or a happy hour before or after hitting the gym. Now it’s only exercise and even “The Fit and Healthy” dug for more stamina to keep going and started exercising with their kids, practicing yoga in their backyard or even acquiring new sport hobbies like biking or rafting. Resilience of the fittest had to take different forms in order to sustain.

"The Workaholics"

“The Workaholics” resorted to work more than 12 hours a day as an escape from reality. The reality of a new pandemic were more than 50 percent of the people never experienced such a phenomenon. Working on their desk, immersing themselves in new learnings, work initiatives, webinars, trainings, etc... Now people had more time for self-development. That also is a form of resilience that many people have started doing. No one measured how long this will take to be resolved. As I write this article, COVID is still infecting people worldwide, numbers are still being multiplied by the thousands every day and The Workaholics are now ruing how much time they are facing Zoom every day. Zoom is their best companion nowadays but the length of using it has had its toll on most people. The exhaustion from sitting 12 hours has affected physical and mental health of almost everyone and “The Workaholics” has to turn to physical exercise to stay resilient.

"The Shellshocked"

“The Shell shocked” resorted to panic attacks every time they hear the COVID numbers. Worldometer became their best friend. Analytics turned into their hobby and medicine became their second profession. They started researching previous pandemics, comparing Spanish Flew Charts to COVID Charts. Even some of them started noting and building their own comparative charts. This group has one objective in mind, predict the end of this pandemic. Even a slight decrease in numbers in their country or any other country might deviate them to announce the end date, self-announcement of course. Another form of resilience for the fragile as well, to be able to work around their fears and to keep their feelings in check by becoming doctors, vaccines’ specialists, and pharmacists gave this group its resilience vaccine.

Resilience is relative in my opinion. All the aforementioned groups started their resilient journey energetically to later be affected by the extended periods of confinement that they had to endure. Just imagine what a day for working parents of 2 might look like. What kind of routine they must find? Here a day might feel shorter than 60 seconds from the moment they wake up at 5-6ish till the moment their kids go to bed. From kids homeschooling, back to back meetings, cleaning, cooking, then kids’ activities, cleaning again, dinner, putting kids to bed...try to repeat this sentence twice and have a temperature check after that! This won’t need planning at all, it’s all planned for you in advance. It’s hectic and crazy that some days you might sleep on the floor from exhaustion.

Human brains and bodies, in my opinion, are still much more powerful than supercomputers. They can create wonders when put to the test of having to acclimatize and survive uncertain times.

Always believe in yourself, have faith, befriend hope, and never lose sight of what always kept your engine running. My family is my greatest motivator and I know many would agree with me when I say that family is the greatest strength anyone can have. Keep them close, keep them happy!

[waitingforyou21]

3/3/2021 11:47 A.M.

I love being in bed so damn much, sometimes I think it’s my favorite place to be in the world.....No obligations, nobody to answer to—just comfort and softness and releasing tension <3 I think about my dream bed all the time: it would be an Alaska-sized mattress with a tempurpedic topper (and if I really got to dream, it would be remote controlled like Syd’s brother’s so that you could sit up 90 degrees if you wanted to. This is such a useful feature because you never have to fuss with the pillows when you need to sit up), the sheets would be made of something that gets cold and stays cold easily (because I am chronically overheated) and the duvet would be big and puffy (and also cold). There would be a couple other blankets on there—maybe some for sentimental value—but my weighted blanket would be on top of everything else. I would have my perfectly-fluffed pregnancy pillow and my heating pad always nearby, and of course Muffin, my stuffed animal I was given before I was born and will never let go. Also, I’d have a bunch of pillows (none of the decorative ones) around me even if I wasn’t using them, because I love to be securely surrounded when I sleep. As a kid, I would set up all my stuffed animals around me in a circle at night when I was scared, and then I moved on to only putting a pillow on my back for a sense of protection. I don’t care much about the colors of my bed or anything, but I’d want it to look as sentimental and comfy as possible—shitty handmade pillow-cases, maybe some old quilts.

I have had such an awful relationship with sleep for most of my life, and only recently (after getting on mirtazapine) have I stopped dreading bedtime and started loving the comfort and safety of being in my own bed. At age 12-13 I had panic attacks (with at least weekly episodes of sleep paralysis) every night without fail for about 7 months straight. It only happened at night when I got in bed—I would suddenly not be able to get a deep breath and it wouldn’t go away until I passed out from exhaustion. I would just pace back and forth throughout the house while my mom stayed nearby because I didn’t really know what anxiety or panic attacks were and I just thought I was gonna die. My mom couldn’t keep doing this with me every night, so I would often just be up on Minecraft playing on the Hypixel server until I couldn’t physically keep my eyes open anymore, would sleep for a couple hours, then pop a Vyvanse and be a robot for 9 hrs at school. Or I would just completely cry myself to sleep. I dreaded bedtime because I knew I’d just be laying there for hours without knowing how to shut my mind off at best, being unable to get a deep breath for hours or have horrible sleep paralysis at worst. I really wish my ADHD was approached/handled with more care and compassion, because being on Vyvanse at that age really fucked me up. I wish my parents would have believed me when I complained about feeling completely numb and having no personality at school when I was on Vyvanse (and even Ritalin). Or they didn’t seem to care when I would complain about how much pain I was in, or how little I ate. I could never sing properly in choir and I had tics like my dad—needing to stretch or swallow repeatedly and freaking out when I couldn’t. I remember kids getting excited when I didn’t take my meds because I was so much more fun and outgoing. I hated taking them but I was so productive when I was on them, and that’s all that mattered to my teachers and parents. It all started when I began to not turn in any assignments and to get bad grades on everything in 4th-5th grade, because I never studied and never knew when anything was due.

I was publicly humiliated for the first time by a teacher in 4th grade, Ms. Franks. It was grandparents day, and we were doing some busy work and finishing up little assignments, making arts and crafts with our parents/grandparents, etc. Those who finished early got to leave class to be a guide for the grandparents in the front office. I don’t remember why exactly I lied, but I was almost done with my work anyways and didn’t see a point to finishing it right away, so I told a little white lie and said I was finished so I could get out of class. I got down to the office with my friends and was there for only a few minutes before I hear my name on the intercom asking me to go back to class. My heart instantly sank as I knew I was in trouble and I was so scared. I walked back and immediately, in front of the whole class and multiple parents, Ms. Franks screamed at me for being a liar and said it was so unfair of me to get to go have fun. I bawled my eyes out and was so humiliated, I still don’t know how a grown woman could do that to a 9yr old who never misbehaved. Then I got yelled at again in 6th grade in front of the whole class by my English teacher, because I lied and said I was done with my work when really I was very behind. I knew I had to ask her a question about the assignment for weeks, and I procrastinated doing it because I was scared of being yelled at and humiliated. And rightfully so. And then I would go home and get in even more trouble from my mom (and my dad but he has never really been a parent to me, I just can’t make myself attach that concept to him) I had to lie to her all the time and she really made middle school a living hell for me. I would always have to tell my friends at school in advance that I was about to get my phone taken up for awhile. My mom would always threaten me and I dreaded coming home as much as I dreaded going to school. But school was better because at least I had some friends that would make me laugh and be kind to me. But that was only in public school, because once I got to Oakridge everything really got miserable for me. Girls were so damn mean. I wasn’t safe at school, and I wasn’t safe at home. I was such an easy target because I never defended myself, I just wanted to be treated kindly or left alone. I wish I would’ve gotten a little violent; I wish I would’ve known I deserved to be respected instead of just taking the abuse. I still love my Mom and my dad, and I don’t have high standards for parents of that generation. I love me so I can love them—I love them so I can love me

[steamishot]

almost goodbye 2020

i feel like a kid that doesn’t want their winter vacation to end. even though i’m not passionate about the work that i do, i really enjoy the amount of holidays + closures that we get. i’m sadly counting down the days to jan 4, when reality resumes.

it took a week for matt to recover, and for us to adjust to being together almost all day everyday at home. after our adjustment period, it was so lovely to be a “normal couple” for once. since moving here, i’ve been doing 95% of all the chores, grocery shopping, and cooking/cleaning while he’s hard at work. the second week of his easy rotation, he finally stepped up and it became more 50/50. he made prime rib for christmas (my first time ever having prime rib). the meat was very tender and tasty, but he oversalted the crust to the point where it was inedible. 

we made hainan chicken together. we grocery shopped together. watched movies together. did chores together. played a board game for the first time. we went out to pick up food together - AND he wasn’t tired afterwards. normally, whenever we go out for 1-2 hours, he would feel exhaustion to the point of collapse and would beg to come home. he didn’t have the need to nap during the day for a whole week. it felt great to go out with and be with a well rested and sweet matt. it was a nice reminder of who he was pre-residency and i feel loved overall. he’s back on a regular rotation (12 hr shifts, 5 days a week) now, but will have a 3 day weekend for new year’s, and a weekend off next week. and then a vacation block! supposedly, they scheduled all the easier rotations together, but his schedule will be hell after march. 

as a UCLA Health employee, i should be able to schedule an appointment for a vaccine fairly soon. 3 of my work friends have already received the green light and made appointments. matt and i booked a ticket to go home from 1/13 to 1/25. i’m hoping i can schedule the vaccine asap. if i’m able to get the vaccine, i’ll have to take a later flight back to NYC due to the 21 days between doses. my family seems semi excited for me to come home, but also not really due to covid haha. i’m still not sure how the logistics for it will work yet, but i’m excited for matt to finally meet my family.  

december was a month when matt and i watched quite a few lesbian movies: 

happiest season (8/10)

prom (5/10)

saving face (7.5/10)

the handmaiden (10/10)

plant updates: i have a total of 14 now and finally feel satisfied. i moved all except the corn plant to the window so that they can all get adequate (as much as a north facing window can provide) lighting. it seems most of my plants are doing not bad (except the corn plant). i had to snip off some yellow/dead leaves from my rubber plant, and one yellow leaf from my mini monstera. the app planta is great in reminding me when each plant needs watering. it also prompts me to take monthly progress photos and write comments. my stromanthe triostar actually grew a significant amount in a month. 

workout: it helps a lot to have a workout buddy (thanks suze). during the break, we’ve been doing 45 min/3x a week. matt recently got a gym membership at our apartment. in normal times, the gym membership holder was able to bring a guest. now due to covid, it’s against the rules. i haven’t gone myself yet, but i’d like to start using the gym on the days that he doesn’t go to start running again. i’ve been focusing more on strength and toning that it seems my cardio health is sucking again. my heart rate climbs up very quickly and easily.

design: i’ve made some progress on my portfolio, i would say i’m 30-40% complete. i keep telling myself to just do something, even if it’s half-assed, or even if it’s not good. because having something there is better than nothing. i worked on my portfolio for a little bit before moving, but because i was so focused on perfecting things, i had little to show when i went back to start working on it again. i still need to make a logo for my dietitian friend, but have been putting it off for the same reason of my logo making skills not being good enough or perfect.

friends: i appreciate group zoom calls a bit more. we had a secret santa one with work friends who i’m not that close to. surprisingly i had a lot of fun playing among us with them and it was nice to talk to other people outside of matt. today, i had a semi impromptu zoom call with K, G, E, and J. we also played among us. it was a blast and so funny. i’m more comfortable around them. we played around 15 games and i was imposter only once. which is fine by me because it’s less nerve-racking lol. 

i’ve never ever used a dishwasher prior to living here. i still feel weird/guilty whenever i want to run the dishwasher but am more comfortable with doing it more often now. apparently the cost of electricity it uses is quite low and we save water too. 

this will be my first time spending NYE/NY in NYC. i can watch the ball drop in real time xD. i never make new years resolutions. i don’t see the purpose of it just because it’s a new year. however, in a little kickback i had for NY in 2019, my friends and i shared something we wished to do in 2020. i said “move out to NYC” and i’m happy that i went through with it. 

[mbergen]

Tammy came home over the weekend.  She had signed up for another week, but it wasn’t meant to be.  I won’t deny she had me worried, but she is fine.  On her 20th day, she scheduled It off.  She hoped that she would be rest and recoup for the next week.  When I talked with her that morning, I knew she was exhausted and so tired.  I had noticed in the last week she was getting more quite.  I was already uneasy.  Late that afternoon, she text and said she was leaving.  She had a car scheduled in an hour and she was driving home.  I wanted her to fly, but it wasn’t going to happen.  She want to get out now……She needed to drive, and have alone time….I was getting more worried.  I really didn’t want her to leave that late from New York City, a city she had never driven in.  But everyone who knows Tammy knows she loves to drive.  I think that is where she gets her peace and alone time.  She can drive straight through from Illinois to Harlingen Texas, (near Mexico Border) in 22 hours…..Crazy Driver…..I decided to text Katherine, her best friend at home.  She is a Nurse at IVCH in Peru.  If she would contact anyone else, it would be her.  Yes, they had already been talking.  As she left New York City, she called and I could tell she was already feeling better.  The weight was lifting.….Katherine sent me texts all evening and night.  Then I was up at 5 to make sure she got home…..What a Saturday it was….Yes, she pulled in Sunday by noon…..So here is her story in her words….

Tammy Bergen 22 hrs ·

I am gonna start this off by saying today is day 22! And the 1st day in 21 days that I have woke up in my own bed! I have missed my family and my friends so much! I might even say that i have missed Illinois! New York was a beast! I have seen thing and did things that i have never dreamed of. And I met so many so many great nurses, APN’s and Drs! They were from all across the United States! The staff was very welcoming as well. They would have lunch donated at times. My last day they had breakfast donated and brought in to us! And REAL coffee! 😍 lol while I was there I worked on 9 different units. I worked a couple of units more than once but for the most part everyday was like starting a brand new job. Everything was always new. The staff, the nurses I worked with, what supplies were available, what type of patients there were. Every unit was like opening a door to the twilight zone. You never know what is gonna be there. And the attitude was strong and everywhere! That is the best way I can describe it. It was not easy for me to go on every day with 5-6 hours of sleep mixed with the constant change. I was never able to develop “a work rhythm”? I’m not sure if that’s the word I am looking for but… And As many of you know, I have struggled with depression my whole life. And I ended up finding myself in a very very low spot. Around day 15 I started to cry everyday and I think day 19 I almost cried all day! (Fyi it’s very hard to tell if someone is crying when they are wearing all this head gear!) It was sooo hard. Even though we were there to help and shine some light into the darkness that is going on in New York right now, I lost control of myself and the darkness crept inside me... On the 20th I had the day off. They allowed us to have 2 pto days in this 21 day contract. My plan was to destress as much as possible and trudge through work one more time… and then cancel my 1 week extension and go home! But by the end of day 20 all I could think about was getting out of this cold dark place that I had found myself in. So rented a car and got the hell outta there at 7pm! It was truly one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. As I began driving away from NYC I could truly feel the heaviness of it all leave my body… and I could smile! A real smile! I talked to my mom and my best friend Katherine almost all the way home. I even had Cassidy on the phone for an hour and an half! And we had a great conversation! I was excited to surprise Cameron at the house so I never told him I was coming! Lol And I thank god my family and my friends are here for me everyday! A part of me is very ashamed or dissatisfied in myself for leaving a day early. But not any more. I am so proud that I was able to help in such a terrible situation! I have learned many things about myself through this experience. I will never regret it! But I don’t think I want to go back to NYC... ever! Lol thank you to everyone that sent us stuff! You guys really really really helped me personally!! And we shared with many others as well! I will never forget this experience! Aunt Connie told me that I would not be able to come back from this the same person. At the time I didn’t think to much about it. But…. she is so very right... not always! But this time! Lol I am just so happy to be home!❤❤❤ ps. Britt Novak is still rockin it in NYC! You got this girl!

Tammy is now home and doing well.  Now she has 2 weeks of quarantine before she can return to work.  I know she has missed the kids tremendously.  She has come back a changed person in so many ways…..She  has learned a lot about herself and will be stronger for it.  She will never forget the patients, nurses, doctors, and all the experiences of New York….She has accomplished something not many of us could or would ever undertake.  But she is a Nurse…..She took that Oath….She Believes in what she does….

WE ARE ALL SO PROUD

….She is an Amazing Nurse….

Now it is time for all the …..THANK YOU’S…. Her days were so busy.  14 hours of the day were work and transportation.  That didn’t leave much time for eating, sleeping, waiting for your mail for 45 min.  and of course a through shower and disinfecting.  She became more physically and mentally exhausted every day.  So she didn’t have a lot of time to show her appreciation.  The one Company that needs a HUGE THANK YOU is Vactor Manufacturing from Streator Illinois…..

Tammy mentioned to us she could use some Safety Glasses.  Aunt Connies’, Son in Law, Matt Rinaldo works for Vactor in Streator Illinois.  He went to HR to ask about Safety Glasses for the girls.  By noon, he had been given around 50 Safety Glasses.  HR also game him many FACE SHIELDS.  Their parent Company Federal Signal had sent them to their employees.  The employees had decided to give them to the Front Line people in the Medical Field that needed them.  They had already given a number of them to Morris Hospital.  Matt brought them to Connie who boxed them up and sent them to the girls.

They were so needed.  As soon as she received them they were gone.  So not many pictures were taken.  I had been reading posts on the FB site of the Staffing Agency from the other nurses.  Those who had connections, were ordering them in quantity’s for their friends.  The hospitals didn’t have any.  They were pretty desperate to get them.  These Shields were so Appreciated.  So …..THANK YOU VACTOR…. also Matt and Connie for sending them to New York…..

Face Shields and Safety Glasses from Vactor….Overlooking the Times Square… NYC

So many other items were sent.  So here in Tammy’s words again are all her Thank You’s

Tammy Bergen 15 hrs ·

There are so many people I need to thank besides my family that have donated their time to make sure that we have what we needed! I want to make as many as I can but please dont be upset if I forget to mention anyone because you all made this so much easier! 1. Vactor Manufacturing in Streator Il donated a box full of safety glasses and face shield! ❤❤❤!! They are in very high demand in New York! And as soon as people seen them… they were gone! The hospitals no longer supply face shield because they are just not available anymore. I wish I could have got more pictures but there just wasn’t time. But I assure you that they were amazing! Thank you Connie Malavolti, Ashley Malavolti and Mat Rinaldo for the hook up! It was definitely needed! The shields protect us from much more than the glasses alone cuz there is a lot of coughing and spraying going on! 2. Amanda Davis for the goodies and the wonderful prayer that came with! It was very special! 3. Chauntelle Biagi-Bruer for the goodies and kind words! 4. Aunt Connie and Jeanie Lutz for getting several hand made masks for me to take at the very last minute!❤ and thank you Connie for the bag of super healing rocks! I wore them everyday! 5. Tammy Schlesinger Gunter for all the goodies and kind words! 6. Baily Jane and Betty Parks for the awesome lotions and cookies! ❤ 7. Jeny Orozco for the amazing words of encouragement and all the awesome gifts! 8. Tiffany Gebhardt for the awesome gifts and kinds words! 9. Mary Jaegle Milashoski for the awesome gift of dry shampoo! (it seriously made Britt Novak’s day!)and the other goodies as well!❤❤ 10. Jessica Torres for all the amazing goodies and encouragement! 11. Frances Ilnicky Van Ameyden thank you for the goodies and the great conversation that definitely brought a smile to my face! 12. Tina M Wenzel for the gifts and (over the top!) Encouragement! I am so very thankful! 13. Brenda Bickerman thank you for delivering the lysol wipes to my house before I left! I could not find any anywhere! 14. Gale Reno for the bag of snacks, gloves, mask crochet ties and other things that you sent at the last moment. 15. Nicole Bouxsien and family made several masks for us to take with. 16. The Eastgate Quilter ladies for making all the masks and redoing the design to include the laces to save our ears!❤ 17. Theresa Fisher for the crocheted ear savers! 18. Bobbi Van Schaick for the box of goodies! That came along with a great story! Definitely something that I would have done! Lol 19. Sharon VanLanduit for the amazing shoe inserts! They helped soooo much! And lastly, Katherine Twardowski for taking care of my 2 older babies while I was gone! (I really hope you will recover quickly! Lol). Tina Bergen Dolder and Ed Dolder for being everything for Carly while I cant! And for all the school teaching! And Margaret Bergen for the daily encouragement and text messages! Scottieonepaw ScottBergen and Brandy Lockett for all the love and support! And there has been so many others who have said some of the best things! I will never forget! Cameron Bergen and Cassy Cruz I am home! And I love you both so much! We WILL be spending some quality time together real soon! Like it or not! Lol I truly can not say how thankful I am to have you all in my life! I have the best family and friends that anyone could ever ask for!❤❤❤ I am feel very blessed to have been a part of NYC at this time of need. But this Is definitely my home! ❤❤❤

Comments…..

Jeny Orozco Love you Tammy!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Betty Parks Thank you for giving your ALL.

Tiffany Gebhardt Np Tammy Bergen…just my way of saying thanks for what U guys went and did! U went above and beyond what u had too! Hope to see u back around soon until then take care of urself and know u got friends who care! ❤️

Tina Bergen Dolder A shout out to Brenda Holloway Bickerman, Jerimey Bouxsein Nicole and family, Gale Reno ( Erin Marie Megan Holly let your mom know!!

Megan Dose Glad your back!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️

Bobbi Van Schaick The least I can do

Mary Jaegle Milashoski So happy that what we could do for you .. made a difference and brightened your day ..!💜💜

Amanda Davis 💜💜💜💜💜

Frances Ilnicky Van Ameyden Your selflessness in this horrible time of Covid19 has shown us what Love of Neighbor is all about. God bless you!

Jeanette Brewer Stay safe and you r a hero Stay safe

.

Thank You to All who has supported and followed Tammy. I as MOM want to give a SPECIAL THANK YOU, to Tina, for being the BEST SISTER Tammy could ever have.  She has done so much that you all will never know.  She was their from the minute Tammy made this descion to go, by getting supplies ready and MANY MANY other things concerning Carly’s care.  My Kids are all so AWESOME….Brittney is still their finishing her extended week.  She is doing ok.  Everyone has been so supportive of the girls and of all the Medical Personnel.  These people are helping and reporting the truths of what is happening in New York City.  They have answered the call not knowing where they were going to work, where they were going to stay.  They all knew they were putting their life on the line…..But they all went anyway…..They worked 12 hours straight covered in PPE.  So many had shortages of PPE, and much hospital supplies.  Some of the story’s I read were mindboggling to think nurses had to operate in such a manner and do things that were so unethical in the hospital setting.  And then the stories of the patients.  So heart wrenching……So many that passed alone….With only the nurse present….The last words from the family’s on the cell phones of the Nurses….

…..Memories these Medical Personnel Will Never Forget….

Tammy’s Home From New York ….. Coronavirus…..Thanks To All Tammy came home over the weekend.  She had signed up for another week, but it wasn't meant to be. 

[blueangel1780]

The Sweetest Christmas Present (One Shot)

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

FLUFF

A/N- this is my first writing here so I do welcome feedback. I realize it’s a bit lengthy for a one shot but figured if I am gonna put my stuff out for the world it needs to be good(haha). Story idea credit goes to @painfullythickimagines  from her “one fact imagine” post which gave me a great idea to run with so THANK YOU! If you want more imagines into a full story shoot me the idea & I can see what I can work with! –Britt =)

          The first Christmas together is usually one of 2 ways when couples are together. Its unbearably awkward & uncomfortable with lots of broken expectations or its completely and totally divine with lots of affections & implications of how the future will look with the person. This weekend was not going to be one for someone who was faint of heart & luckily enough for (y/n) you had a very good feeling that it was going to be as smooth as expected. You used your money from the small acting roles over the last year from different projects to support your favorite thing & arranged to go to the children’s hospital in your hometown to pass out presents & cheer up the kids as a surprise for them & their parents. Little did they know you had managed to talk your boyfriend into going along as well since it was carving time out of his work schedule as well.

    You always had a crush on Tom since hearing him sing in one of his earlier films & knew then that if the opportunity had ever presented itself you were going to take it to date him. You had gone to a theatre show he was in when you first met. He was coming from the back of the building where you waited after the show to congratulate him & stood off to the side while waiting for him to sign autographs; take pictures; be with his fans; which was something you still had not gotten used to, but enjoyed it none the less. You had stayed back from the crowd a good bit when a fan noticed you and squealed alerting the rest of the crowd as well. Smiling & blushing some as you are spotted, you looked up to see Tom staring at you with a modest but pleasant looking grin. It was now he who waited in a long line of people to talk with you, which didn’t seem to bother him one bit as he watched in amusement as you signed and took pictures with fans who couldn’t believe their luck.

 Finally, once the crowd had subsided Tom made his way to you with a wide grin on his face. You looked up bashful & he still had a good head above you in your 4 inch heels. “Hi there..” you say quietly while looking down, somewhat embarrassed by the disturbance you caused but now  worth it since the tables had turned and it took the edge off from introducing yourself as a fan. He chuckled some as he knew you was avoiding his gaze as he reached for you hand lifting it to his lips for a gentle squeeze and a light kiss. “Nice to finally meet you (y/n), been a long time coming that I have wanted to introduce myself.” You smile and blush harder hearing that he wanted to meet you as well. “Well here we are then.” you say softly, finally meeting his gaze and take an instant sharp breath of air as you look in his eyes seeing his gentle intent and curiosity showing just the slightest bit. Awkwardly you clear you throat as you slowly move your hand from his as you realize it’s still being held, though removing it was the last thing you wanted to have happen. His hands were much bigger compared to yours, slight callouses from his recent acting production, but still warm and inviting to hold.

  “Busy?” he asked, snapping you away from your stare at his hand and a stuttering response was the only thing able to be pushed out. “W-well.. I, no but I..” staring as a deer in the headlights as you struggle to give some sort of coherent answer back. A blush forms as you hear him let out a soft chuckle to your response. “Well, there is a great little spot a few blocks up if you want to get some dinner, I’m famished.” He responds back to you which makes your own stomach start to cramp a little from hunger so you nod & he asks you to step inside as he grabs his things up so you can leave. Suddenly you realize that you are going alone to dinner with a long-time crush that you have been internally “prepping” for to happen & you fight the internal “school girl” squeal building up. You blush some knowing he isn’t close by to see & your face lights up with a smile.

“Well now… isn’t that the most gorgeous sight in this whole world?” you hear and look up quickly and see a beaming smile that matches yours on his face which instantly makes your heart skip at least a couple beats.

  You had never really been to New York on a personal stay but found that it really was the most interesting yet terrifying place if you weren’t someone at least vaguely familiar with the city and how to navigate it. There was so much going on even with it being late, which considering where she was from in South Carolina, was like being at a massive party all the time. The walk was worth the possibilities of getting lost or mugged since she was in the best of company.

  Smiling as the memories flood your brain from a year ago as you stared at him getting everything prepared for tomorrow to visit the hospital and almost had those wonderful “happy tears” trying to come out. You had never really seen someone who was as excited to help others as it was with him. He was so generous and you already knew about his charitable side with all the different ventures he went on with other companies to help the third world countries to be able to live better lives so it shouldn’t have surprised you when you mentioned it to him & his sudden response was asking when & what to do to help you.

   A few months back you had called to schedule the visit for just you & so when you called back to let them know you were going to be coming along with a few others they were shocked but also curious to see who you were bringing with you. Keeping it a surprise until the day you were going to arrive since Tom was going in the infamous “Loki” costume for a least a little bit while you were there would surely give people a chance to talk & the kids a chance to be a hero was enough to brighten your holidays.

 It was like watching a kid in a candy store as he helped wrap and sort them by age and by request, with Tom making sure each name was on every present accordingly. His intent on making sure everything was perfect seemed to almost exhaust you, but it was fuel on his fire since he was in his “zone”. You get to the hospital the next morning, nervous from excitement. Nine a.m. was just after breakfast and just before majority of the kids had their therapy sessions. You two along with his assistant, a PR & your best friend stroll in to find the HR manager, children’s department director and 3 burly nurses to carry the overload of presents waiting in the back of the U-Haul truck you rented to make sure everyone was included.

   When everyone was gathered in the children’s department “play center” which was basically a large room with toys; art supplies and canvases; small play structures; pretty much everything to help relieve the kids of their ailments for a while, you glance at the at least 12 oversized garbage bags full of love that would at least give the kids extra happiness through the tough times of the holidays. Being a cancer survivor yourself as a small child you knew it took everything in the parents to just be there, let alone the numerous costs of everything from lodging to food and other home based finances that these illnesses took from these families so you had no hesitations to giving back when you were able in person.

 Everyone had listened to the director speak and as he introduced you, the kids eyes wide with wonder as you tell them that you know they are in a tough situation since you had been in this same hospital, most of them the same age you were when you “kicked cancer in its butt” and felt they needed something awesome to remind them of how strong they really are. As your small speech was nearing where you were introducing Tom your voice caught a small lump as you see him standing at the door waiting on the signal to come in. It takes a few brief seconds to compose yourself as you smile at them & tell the kids “Today you are all my superheroes and to be the best hero there always has to be a villain” and as you point back to the door you watch everyone turn to see Tom & his wonderfully wide but “evil” smile as he strolled in to applause and some boos from the kids which makes you chuckle yourself.

  Once the kids had been able to play and “fight” with the bad guy he went to change just as you started to pass out presents. When he came back in a long sleeve ivory sweater, khaki’s and those irreplaceable brown boots he can’t ever leave behind; you stop and take a minute to admire him. Like a man with his own children you notice as he sits down on their level to hand them their gifts and hugs/pictures if requested, making sure you are passing out the additional presents for the parents of food/gas/coffee gift cards to get through the holidays at least while trying to hold back your own happy tears as you are both thanked beyond belief to be so generous.

    As the end of your time come to a close at the hospital you meet with the director who can’t stop thanking you for everything & talk about being able to plan another visit for fun. It’s close to one when you get back to your home and as he heads to the kitchen to unpack the take out you got on the way back from such an eventful day you can’t help but think of how he is the best thing that has happened to you. He sees your smile as he turns around to finish plating everything up & smiles back as sweetly. You walk to him wrapping your arms at his waist & quietly tell him “Thank you for being the sweetest Christmas present I could have asked for.”

[makingnewenemies]

making of the AL video...

There was a time in my life when I swore I wouldn’t make a music video because they “always made the song worse for me”.  Yeah I changed my mind... 

I’m feeling a nice combo of caffinated and nostalgic so I will write write write until it comes times for me to get on a train to Seattle... 

Making the Always Leaving video was one of the most fun projects I’ve worked on, for obvious reasons. I drove from Portland to Orange County by myself in a

 long lunatic drive where I kept screaming “overcome!” to myself when I’d start to doze off at the wheel.  Crawford flew in and we started filming in our hometown of Newport Beach, CA in the early morning, worked our way through LA, quick stop in Carpenteria and Santa Barbara (kinda regretting skipping Ventura), then pulled off and watched the sunset from a dirt road on the crest of a hill where we spent almost an hour trying to film this flying bat in the purple dusk (never got a good shot of it smh a waste of lots of gb’s). We pulled into SLO after dark and parked downtown on Higuera and stood outside the van drinking some of those pocket shots you can buy at the liquor store. After a couple we walked around the downtown bar scene filming myself standing idly infront of all the dressed up college crowd. Scantily clad party girls surrounded me as I stared blankly into the camera and we told them we were filming a video for Plain White Tees. They loved that. Some dude did a backflip. None of this made the video except a brief moment where I stand in bubble gum alley. We parked the van that night in Los Osos on a little dead end road by the bay water. I recall taking a piss in the trees and thinking about how much I miss SLO and how much of a gem this area is, then tried to fall asleep amongst all the camera cords and charging batteries and Crawford sprawling out on our futon bed as if he’s never shared a bed before. In the morning we tried to get drone footage of Montana De Oro at sunrise but the drone that my brother lent to us would come crashing down after a minute in the air and I wasted a beautiful sunrise cursing technology and nursing my bruised Go Pro. We drove over to Morro Bay and at last I got to surf underneath my beloved Morro Rock and the waves were fun that morning and smelled fishy and of course that Morro Bay ocean smell brought me back to my SLO years where I’d sit on my board staring up the coast at Cayucos contemplating Kerouac and Portland. Big Sur was grand of course but it was a hazy cloudy day and we’ve seen it better. Still the video gave us an excuse to explore some side roads and find views that we’d never seen in Big Sur before. Crawford was instagram messaging with some Big Sur instagram famous dharma yogi rainbow warrior and we thought she’d take us somehwere special but alas she stopped responding and we had to get to Santa Cruz. I saw my old pal Kurkjian and his crew in Santa Cruz, and while our shots of the boardwalk are nice they dont represent Santa Crux to me and I wish we’d gone elsewhere for our establishing show like Steamer’s Lane or that Taco Bell downtown that gets rowdy late night. Well that drive on the 1 from SC to SF is awfully gorgeous and we caught some epic norcal coastal sunset footage just north of Davenport, then met up with my brother Riley for some Chinese food in SF. I remember being so exhausted I began dozing off at the dinner table then we went home and filmed an action skit with Nerf Guns only to wake up to some news of a shooting... dont remember which shooting this was...doesn’t matter... Crawford immediately deleted his snap chats of our shoot out. My brother always brags about how he’d bomb the hills of Outer Sunset on his skateboard all the way to the beach so we decided to try it. We skitched on the back of his room mates truck to the top of a hill and down we went with Crawford filming from the truck bed. To my surprise my brother had become a really great skater and it was me who was speed checking every 20 yards or so. We got the shot, and I told Crawford that we’ll have to find a couple second clip where I actually look cool on the board and not constantly slowing down and looking for traffic. I still can’t believe how my brother would shoot through those SF intersections without taking his eyes off the ocean horizon below. Well we got some coffee at this toast and coconut place called like Trouble or something that my girlfriend and I heard about in a podcast. It was a whatever hyped place but a ton of friends came out to meet us and we had a pretty nice morning chatting and enjoying the Sunset district’s chillness. I was being a bit too casual as I suggested we all walk to the Mollusk surf shop and Crawford grew anxious and cranky because, he was right, we needed to get back on the road. So there’s that classic shot of the asian tourists with the selfie stick on the golden gate bridge and we were off into the big question mark of a landscape that is the Cali Coast north of SF! And jesus oliver christ once you get above Stinson Beach that norcal coast is just about as desolate and beautiful as you can get! We got epic shots of the dilapidated Point Reyes ship yard and cemetary at dusk and that shot of the whale mural through the fence is one of my favs (mostly cause of a specific Dick Diver lyric) and we arrived in Mendocino after dark where we took refuge in this mountainy dive bar that had a huge smelly moose head on the wall and uploaded our footage and charged batteries until the staff kicked us out and we slept in the van and woke up to that spanking gold coastal sun and I pissed in the tall green grass I was so happy. Well it was this last section of the trip that truly felt free and American frontier little boy with no rules exploration euphoria. We stopped in Legget at this roadside bar and grill where the custodian (clearly on meth or some upper) showed us around and told us all about the big country festival they have in the summer and how he brings girls back to his RV (covered in moss and parked in the trees behind the property) and how he has 12 different facebook accounts all with different aliases because you never know who is watching you. Then a few miles down the road we pulled the van off by a river and we jumped in naked and I laid out naked on this log that was sticking up and that warm bark on my back just about let me die right there and I jumped back in the water off this log and the footage of that is really not flattering... and on our way back to the van we came across this huge uprooted tree with a sort of hide out built out of it’s underside with all sorts of feathers and crystals and animal skulls aligned in patters like a Pagan shrine or Wicchan execution ceremony and it was legitiately spooky enough that we didnt stick around to get footage I dont think. Anyone who’s driven the 101 up here knows that Big Foot themed pull off with all the giant wood carvings and all sorts of mystical norcal souveniers. It was here I bought my coon skin cap and ya that was the moment I wished we could never go home and just romp around these mountains and coastline looking for adventure forever. I ate that bag of Famous Amos cookies all the way to Arcata where we met up with our wise philosopher friend and girlfriend for some basketball and bison viewing. She took us to some remote beach and for some reason we were all about to get naked but we decided to trek further up the coast to catch one last sunset shot. We stressed hard about that sunset shot when in reality we had plenty of sunset shots already but we needed that ONE GREAT SHOT to finish out the video. We didnt get anything epic except, cleverly I think, we pulled off to some beach and Crawford got that clever shot of my standing on the rock with my homemade alligator bumper sticker in the foreground and BOOM that was pretty much it. From there we took the north east pointing highway (i forget what number it is?) that goes through Cave Junction (spooky interesting place we should go back and explore) towards Grants Pass. We got that final shot of the Welcome to Oregon sign which we needed to conclude the whole vid and we stopped at a Denny’s for dinner around 2 AM. After that I blasted a bunch of old punk records and raced the 5 hrs back up the 5 to Portland to get Crawford to work ontime at his 6 AM radio gig. I dont remember what I did after that but I am assuming I slept and then went to nanny the kids that I was nannying at the time. The end!

[pa-awesome]

Small Lies That Escalated Into “This Is My Life Now”

• Found out a coworker was from the same city I grew up in. He asked what my "old man's" last name was. Being an unmarried woman, I assumed he was asking about my father to determine if he knew my family back home. Apparently he was asking about my non existent husband, so until he quit I carried on the facade that I had a husband from back home.

• My mom gave my sister a chocolate orange about 15 years ago and she kind of embarrassed the family by saying it was gross. I didn't want to make my parents feel bad so I said that I'd eat it. It was gross but I pretended to like it. Now every year for Christmas I get a chocolate orange.

• Pretended to be a girl on World of Warcraft for a solid two years. I didn't actually set out to do it, just never corrected anyone when they assumed I was and by the time I thought to come clean it seemed too awkward.

• I convinced pretty much everyone in my life that I was allergic to coconut at a young age. I simply just didn't like it at all and it was a good way to avoid eating it (logic of a pre-teen mind). My mom played along. It wasn't until about 3 years ago when my mother in law had a surprise birthday party for her husband and she made a german chocolate cake. The kicker here: she did HALF of it coconut and half without so I could enjoy the cake and not have an allergic reaction to it. I broke down. Laughed. Told them it wasn't true and I actually am not allergic. Her face melted. I hadn't realized how long I had kept up the lie until that very moment.

• When I was 12 years old, I lied about my age and made myself older for about 3 years, so I could still be somewhat cool in WoW. Now some of my WoW friends settled over with me to other games, and whenever I meet someone new, they're likely connected to them. At this point it's too awkward to explain that I'm not the oldest, but in fact the youngest in our friendgroup.

• Told one guy i was canadian bc they asked why i apologized so much. That was in 1st grade, im now a junior in highschool and people are shocked when they find out im not canadian

• I dated a guy who's father was a minister. I liked this guy a lot. I knew their church was one of those loud, dancing talking in tongues churches and his parents asked me to come to church with them. The dad did this whole long ass sermon about premarital sex and being saved. The guy I was dating kept nudging me and his family kept smirking so when they asked who felt the Holy Spirit and wanted to be saved I walked up to the front, everyone was jumping around and people were getting popped in the forehead and going into convulsions on the floor. I pretended to feel it. They smacked my forehead, I fell back, I just laid there with a few other people on the floor with my eyes closed wondering if I should twitch or something. Afterwards everyone was hugging me and his parents were crying.....

• I was working at a small company about 10 years ago, around the holidays. It was approaching Thanksgiving, and the ladies in my department had organized a pot luck luncheon. I was adding my contribution to the sign-up sheet when I noticed that one particular co-worker had signed up to bring brownies. She was a nice, single, older woman who had many pets at home (2-3 cats and as many dogs) and was regularly covered in a layer of pet fur. The day of the party had arrived, and everyone was going around filling their plates. There they were on the dessert table - the brownies. I didn't want to eat any of them, but I also didn't want to be impolite - so I told her I couldn't have any because I was allergic to nuts. Fast forward 9 years, and I am out with a friend (who had also been a co-worker at this company) I had kept since that job. After a few drinks, I tell her, tearfully, that I have a confession to make - I'm not really allergic to nuts. She burst out laughing, thinking it was going to be something much more serious than that. She is the only person I have made this confession to.

• A dude I knew was giving this girl some shit and she kicked him in the nuts. Ok, extreme reaction, but such is life. He doubled over in pain, but since he was kind of a douche anyway, no one cared much. The next day (a Friday) his dad took him out of school for some reason. Then when he returned on Monday he learned that the big rumor was that his balls ruptured from the kick, and he had to get emergency surgery. Rather than correcting anyone, he went along with it. This went on for years. People made fun of him, and he just joked about it. There were idiotic songs people sung about him. He laughed about it. Never denied it once, in fact participated in some of the joking at times. Finally, one day about 3 years later he comes clean. She didn't even actually kick him in the balls, just in the gut and it really knocked the wind out of him. After all this time, the dude who got kicked in the balls was basically his identity. Strange turn of events.

• When I was 16, I humored some Mormon missionaries to make my best friend and his family happy (they were Mormon). So after a few home "lessons" about the LDS church I had already showed a lot of fake support and interest. Being awkward, I didn't want to admit to not being interested. When they asked if I wanted to be baptised weeks later, I said yes, imagining I'd eventually back out. I didn't. Became an athiest Mormon. After months of living this double life, attending church, etc, my mom decided to show support by becoming Mormon. I was mortified. My recovering Catholic dad pulls me aside and asks me if I really believe this stuff. I explained everything to him and he thought it was hilarious. I also made him promise not to tell Mom because, again, awkward and too far deep. She asked me to baptise her and I refused. This insulted her. Fast forward a year or so and I distanced myself from church people while still maintaining the close relationship with my friend and his family. It's been 12 years now, and we still hang out weekly and nobody considers me Mormon. I never explained this to him.

• The second or third week of college my freshman year I stumbled into a room where a newly acquired friend and his roommate were playing kingdom hearts. We briefly talked about how much they loved the game, etc. Eventually, I fall asleep on their futon from general college induced exhaustion. An indeterminable amount of time later, I wake up to them quietly talking about what to do with the person napping on the couch. Not wanting to be rude, I tell them "Oh sorry - I wasn't really napping" They call me out on my buffoonery, and I decide to double down that I WAS NOT NAPPING. We get into a pretty heated argument about what constitutes a nap and the specific things that I was doing if it were not napping. I do not back down and start essentially yelling at them that I was not napping. This grew into an uncontrollable inside joke where whenever I would go anywhere with these guys they would say something like "man, its a good thing bendernas doesn't take naps", he'll be the life of the party. Or some shit. This slowly spreads to basically everything we did (small school of ~ 3000 students, where most people had some sort of obscure connection to most other people) and I eventually became known as the person who didn't take naps. (edit: i love naps) A few years later we became roommates and the proceed to wake me up basically every single day whenever I took a nap.

• When I got out of college, I got accepted in an internship. After that internship, they hired me. When they asked about my diploma, I said the truth, that I needed a few more general classes(French and PE) to finish and get my diploma. They said: No problem, but you have to get your diploma. I said(the beginning of the lie): It's alright, I'm already registered for the classes next semester. They said: Ok but make sure you get it soon! Then never asked about it again, even after changing HR management twice since then. I've been working here for 10 years now, never went back for my diploma. I know it's stupid, but let's hope I end my career here or something.

• Living in a College Town, every year around spring graduation there's one or two "I'm here to see my kid graduate, but I haven't been able to locate them" families. Usually kids that stopped going, pocketed their parents money, and/or just gave up and couldn't handle telling the family. It ends sadly sometimes. That's a big lie/deception to deal with and maintain. It almost always comes to a head.

• My first relationship. A few days in, then-girlfriend tells me she isn't ready to go public just yet and if we could just pretend we weren't together for a few days then she would be ready. Six months later, I had lied to so many people for her I can't tell whats real anymore and any time I asked her if we could stop because it was messing with me she refused and argued her way out of it. Looking back on this fucks with my head to this day. Amazing how much things like that can snowball.

• One time someone who I wanted to be better friends with showed me a metal gear solid meme and me being me I pretended to understand it. I then was forced to research all the games and their plots, Easter eggs, quotable characters, and other memes to better fake understanding. I still have never played a metal gear solid game.

• My fiance has a great one. She's a picky eater, and rather than tell her best friend that she doesn't like bananas, she told her "I'm allergic to bananas." For YEARS, her best friend would make sure everything was banana-free. From cakes, to desserts, to even clearing her house of anything banana related. After close to 15 years, my fiance finally told her "Hey, I just don't like bananas." Nervous, thinly veiled hatred in the form of laughter ensued.

• One teacher at school said my name wrong and I was too anxious to correct him. Long story short it’s almost been a year and I’m in too deep to say anything else.

• I live in Cambridge, UK and my go to answer to those "interesting-facts-about-you" moments (you know, corporate icebreakers or interview stuff) is that I got knocked over by Stephen Hawking whilst on the pavement near my house. Partly true as in he lives in the city, travels out and about on said streets. Truth is I just saw him on a path once. I was driving. People love that it's a bit different so imma keep using it.

• A buddy of mine's dad had a funny ongoing joke of sometimes referring to his son's friends by similar, but incorrect names. Trent became Trevor, Scott became Sam, Ethan became Eric. Just silly stuff like that. So in that vein he starts calling me 'Donald' (jesse is my middle name, my first one starts with 'D'). At first I thought he was joking, but he just. Didn't. Stop. Its been years, and now that we're all moved out and on our own I rarely ever see him. But he still calls me Donald whenever I do, and at this point its way too late to correct him.

• This is a small thing, I don't go by my full name but when I sign up for classes at my gym, it's done through an app and shows up on the roster as my full name. I never thought that anyone there would eventually know me by name, so when the instructor would take attendance I just never corrected in. But now I'm a year in and I'm casually friendly with most people there and I'm in way too deep to correct them now. It's not that I mind my full name that much, I have just never really gone by it.

[bprado1-blog]

Under The Knife!

Link here: https://wordpress.com/splendidwandererb

- My bloody and painful experience -

On November 27, 2018, I was diagnosed with having Pelvic Endometriosis Stage IV, Bilateral Endometriotic Cyst and Acute Appendicitis. Just by thinking of these three, it already scares me as it led me to think of those large needles. Needless to say, a thin plastic tube (with a syringe at higher pressures) inserted into my vein or they called it “Intravenous Infusion".

This dilemma started way long ago, if my memory serves me right, when i was 21 years old. Every month I have been suffering menstrual cramps which occurred around the time that my menstruation begins. Pain is usually in my lower abdomen or in my pelvis. The pain was tolerable at first until such time I would just suddenly collapsed. Since then I decided to just take any pain reliever whenever this painful period attacks. Six years has passed and my body would not accept anymore one pain reliever during my menstruation so I had to take two pain relievers to ease the pain.

These past quad months of taking two pain relievers had directed me to go see a doctor, an OB-GYN, because I had thought that I am slowly killing myself with all these unprescribed medications.

October 23, 2018, I took a couple of laboratory tests, a week after, I got the results. The first result was interpreted by the doctor that very same week and the second result because I had to gather it from another laboratory office and the doctor as well was kind of busy-many scheduled appointments.

November 27, 2018 was the day both of us were available and also the day of another surprising interpretation of the second result. The doctor advised me to undergo a surgery as soon as possible before this gets worse.

Moreover, there was this one phrase I will never forget from the doctor, “We tend to wait for the things to get worse before we can get better”. With that said, I then decided to schedule for a bloody surgery.

December 04, 2018, I got admitted to the hospital in preparation for tomorrow’s operation.

December 05, 2018, this was the most terrifying, horrific, bloodshed/bloodbath day I could say. This was my first ever major operation in my entire life. I raised up my faith to God for my life, alive or not.

Around 01 PM, one doctor, one nurse, and one man who carried a stretcher brought me to the operating room. I was very nervous and dizzy super dizzy at that time. When we arrived at the hallway of the operating room, another doctor approached me, an Anesthesiologist and said not to worry, they will take care of me. Another two doctors approached me afterwards said everything will be fine, that I would only sleep and wake up totally fine. In spite of all the uplifting words the doctors have said, I was still very anxious and just zipped my mouth because no words could come out. Then four doctors and two nurses brought me into the operating room and I got scared four times scared when I saw all the apparatus inside the room, the operating lights that somehow summoned me to sleep and everything would turn out fine. Then the Anesthesiologist bade me to flip my body to the other side as he injected something which I did not even bother to know. I was full of disquietude at that moment then nothingness ---------------------------------------------.

One hour, two hours, three hours, four hours and so on has passed, I woke up around 09 PM and found myself in the recovery room (I asked the nurse who was seated right in front of me). The moment everything had sinked into my mind, I only found myself crying because I got out alive and no complications happened. (Two major operations, I would like to emphasize that). Clock has been ticking and still I could not move my two legs. 09 PM waiting turned out to be until 01 AM, December 06, 2018 waiting because they would not allow the patients to be delivered to the respective rooms until whole body could move.

Around 01:30 AM, December 06, 2018, I was brought finally to my room looking half-dead because of an excess loss of blood in the operation. They have transfused me 1 bag of blood in the operating room (as what my medical records stated) however when I got into my room I was still feeling dizzy and so pale-white. I felt like all my ancestors in heaven already have met me. (kidding aside)

December 07, 2018, Doctors visited me asking if I was okay, can breathe, in pain. Pretty much they asked me few same questions. My OB-GYN checked on me as well and asked if I was in pain, feeling dizzy and I said, “YES” so she asked one of the nurses to transfuse me one more bag of blood because I was so pale very pale. And another calvary of infusing again to my veins. I think my body now is syringe-needle-friendly.

December 08 and 09, 2018 – Recuperation Days!

December 10, 2018, the day when my doctor, an OB-GYN, informed me that I can now be discharged because I already can manage to walk.

December 11 and 12, 2018, the days when I felt like dying because of the huge bill, literally huge bill. I told myself that this is the perfect time to thicken my face and ask for any means of help whatever it takes.

These were the options I/we exhausted:

My Insurance – Checked

Asked Help from City Hall – I am not a voter in Cebu City. I am registered in the province.

Asked Options from the Doctors- Checked

Asked Help from my Colleagues at work – Checked Jasmine Payac Balbarona

Asked Help from TLs, OMs, HR and Site Director at work, Boss Jinggay Del thank you so much! I greatly appreciated your help. 🙂

Asked Help from my Love Dennis Götzenbrugger – I know this is not a proper way to say thank you in social media as public do not need to know ones’ private life but please just this time allow me to say THANK YOU for all the efforts, the help, the understandings, the love, the money € you have sent me just for me to be discharged 😭, everything you have done for me for almost a year now. I know that being in a long distance relationship is very hard and words could not express enough how grateful I am to have you. Just stay healthy and humble. I LOVE YOU! 😘😘😘

To those who visited me in the hospital, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

To the one who fought legally 😁 OM Reva Reva Mae Camoro-Bacasmot, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

To my brothers Bob Prado Realino Garcia Prado who did not get enough sleep just to watch over me, taking care of me until now, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

And to those who prayed for my successful operation, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

God Bless us all! 😊😇😊

[reyesschack9-blog]

Exactly how Thoughts Come to be Matter?

Startup Alphabet Electricity is announcing its own new item, introduced on Tuesday, as the globe's 1st commercial scale thermoelectric generator, which means it is powerful enough to become utilized at distant oil, gas as well as mining internet sites. There is actually a great item at Forbes concerning the creation from the project through Rob Siltanen, who went to the time imaginative supervisor as well as dealing with companion at TBWA/Chiat/Day servicing the Apple pitch. As well as due to the fact that the map and comparative motion along the tour course is actually certainly not saved, then this definitely is ineffective, a minimum of in my component of the world. There's a lot of anti-Microsoft feeling out there, there is actually a lot of anti-Google view as well as well as I presume that consumers hop between them. You gather batteries that are going to approach your celebrity rating, with more significant benefits in regards to power bolts, the activity's currency, for far better celebrity ratings. Hydrogen, the gas used in FCEVs, is actually an extremely numerous aspect, and when natural hydrogen is stemmed from renewable energy resources, the whole establishment of electricity production and also intake is free from carbon exhausts. Today, every little thing transformed For the first time in well over a many years, the video game - in addition to its own forerunner X-Wing - became available to purchase. Rodney stays in Minnesota, where he is a THIS administrator for The Man at a Fortune 50 company. Functioning in a restaurant with a higher volume from travelers, I observe folks all the time carrying around both their significant tablets as well as their laptop computers so I do not believe the measurements of this particular will certainly be an issue on the portable edge from it. Enlighted Inc.'s initial consumer is eco-friendly carpeting provider User interface Companies, which made use of the lighting unit to reduce energy usage from a 35,000 square shoe facility in Acworth, Ga Aside from that, its not worth my opportunity boning up for a miserly 600 credit histories or less per ethnicity, thinking I gain (yes, I am actually still in Season 3). At that price I need to win, like, ONE HUNDRED competitions merely to manage my next auto!!! So I got back to the code to earn additional items, presuming they 'd make the problems for me. In order to get a far better sense of what does it cost? screen time it can manage, I played a local area HD video clip continuous at around 70% brightness someday, and also the phone lasted for nearly 12 hrs on a total cost. The Jawbone UP lets you create an intelligent alarm system where the band will definitely shake and also attempt to wake you up within a block of your time 30 minutes prior to your alarm system opportunity. However eventually, this aspect just attends to reasonable rates from framework addition, and also does certainly not bear on the overall Energy Catch phenomenon. A comical factor occurs when folks buy your product: they invest their energy right into the selection as well as will definitely discover needs to validate their activity. You could stop as well as reboot that as often times as you desire and, when you're finished, this is going to include the collective opportunity to the activity. He steered the vehicle around to the property of Miss Horner, that got a degree coming from Central Senior high school final Wednesday as well as is a niece of previous Gov. By means of the 3 base symbols you can easily either incorporate projects and also clients (Work) or even zero hour away (Timer). I concur that nobody got a Mac for Halo (likewise I doubt any individual would buy an apple iphone to play Legend of Zelda) or even other Microsoft activities, nevertheless all at once that boosts label exposure as well as enhances rate of interest in brand-new games. States Spurt, it is actually approximated that this year, profits coming from in-app purchases are going to go over advertisement profits for the very first time. Smart meters may additionally enable energy control tools like need feedback - which pays folks to minimize energy when the electric framework is actually stressed - that may help boost dependability as well as decrease interruptions. One of the most current game, Task Diva X, was the absolute most organized however, entrusting players along with unlocking themed worlds five tunes at a time. Playing in http://familydiet-blog.info of Charles Campbell aboard the speculative ship MSRV-Joplin, the whole staff is carried all over time as well as room. The innovation of the designers keeps me coming back to explore new labels in the activities type all the time. The quantity of time a bodily video game can easily go while you stand by to obtain sturdy is REALLY excruciating sometimes. The seemingly never-ending use the Solyndra shame as a whipping kid for the whole entire idea from social support for renewable resource is a purposeful technique from these frontal teams, consisting of Karl Rove's Super SPECIAL-INTEREST GROUP, Crossroads DIRECTION FINDER, as well as Americans for Success, a Koch-funded group that has actually spent millions in battleground conditions within this vote-casting.

An additional possibility, recommended through University University London psychologist Chris McManus in his manual Right-Hand, Left-Hand, is that the human brains from lefties possess an extra extremely developed correct half, which has actually been actually proposed to be a lot more engageded in creativity. Arcadia's current projects may not be substantial, however they carry out verify that office consumers as well as federal governments are investing their thesis-- if you deliver renewable resource production to renters-- they are going to happen. The hyperlink wire is merely an elegant label for a 3.5 mm guy to male stereo audio cable. But that such look after particular, for world-building, for exploration as well as for engrossment was actually paid for to every journey, tomb, and volume, suffices to cement Skyrim as one from the downright ideal parlor games our team've ever before found, and also one of the most ideal activities of all time. This isn't almost appearances: the squared-off base edges permit the tablet computer to dock neatly with the ThinkPad 10 Folio Key-board - an optionally available added that are going to incorporate $110 (around ₤ 80) to the general price. I think there is a presumption that this is mosting likely to adhere to the movie in some way. While several in the energy community are delighted due to the shale gas reformation, without storage, electrical generators are going to still must be actually sized to comply with peak requirement and as a result will certainly continue to run at 40 percent or even much less capacity aspect. On http://familydiet-blog.info is provided by urban area for fast accessibility, while the ipad tablet presents a full display screen map with pushpins denoting all your spared metropolitan areas for a wealthier experience.

[shesinspain-blog]

F A Q / Make Moves, Bby

Inspired by this fantastic post from Christina Bates, I answered my most frequently asked questions about teaching English in Barcelona. These are all from my experience and don’t carry weight to be generalizations.

I’d like to call this post “no one will do it for you, but you can do it yourself.” Moving here is totally possible, and it may feel super overwhelming but step-by-step you will make it happen. And what better city than Barcelona?!

What did you do before teaching English in Barcelona?

I was 22 in Columbus, Ohio, finishing my Bachelor’s in Visual Communication Design. After I earned my degree in May, I worked at the taco hut for the summer, and moved here in August.

Why did you make the jump?

It was a long time coming for me. I was very fortunate to study abroad in Rome in 2015, and through 5 short weeks I fell in love with Mediterranean culture, the eternal city, and so much more. I’m obsessed with design, so I was torn for my post-grad plans. As much as I wanted to start my career, especially in a big city like Chicago or NYC, I couldn’t shake my desire to move internationally again. I did a lot of stupid simple google searches like “How to move abroad american” and “teaching english overseas.” I got this great book about how to teach overseas. Once I was certain it was a real possibility for me, I made moves to learn what to do, how to do it, and when. Choosing this path as my means to live abroad meant selecting my own housing, determining my own timeline here, and the option to say no to work I didn’t like, which gave me more mental security than some other (totally valid!) ways of being an expat. Like aupairing, for instance.

Why did you choose Barcelona?

For a person who’s constantly following her feelings, my decision for Barcelona was largely pragmatic. I know no languages besides English. I wanted to live somewhere where I could learn fast, or at least read street signs and subway maps. Barcelona’s climate range is not extreme, so I could pack less. It’s centrally located in Europe; traveling from here is easy and cheap. Then there’s the TEFL opportunities. International TEFL Academy recommended it as one of the top locations for teaching abroad. There’s a high market of under-the-table employment, so I didn’t have to spend money on a work or student visa. There is a huge international community. Barcelona has a large population, so schools and private students are everywhere. Reading guidebooks and blogs before I came here really gave me no cultural expectations for this city. I’ve gone from knowing nothing about this city to declaring it the best city on earth. Tapas, sunshine and beach hangs really do that to you ;) 

Why did you choose to get TEFL certified?

Like I said, there are lots of avenues to live overseas. I personally know people who have used the sites AuPairWorld and Workaway and Bunac. I’m considering these for future endeavors. However, TEFL certification allowed me control over my work schedule in a way other jobs did not. Knowing English already made me feel confident about the career change, and I really like my independence. Being able to separate work and fun has been important to me.

Are you on a visa?

I am on a tourist visa, which is the visa Americans have to enter the Schengen zone for 90 days. Catherine Bates has more information about getting a Spanish visa, and you can find a lot of info about visa requirements (for work or students) around the internet. 

Do you need to speak Spanish?

No, especially not in Barcelona. It’s so international here. Oftentimes when speaking with strangers, I will start in Spanish and they respond to me in English anyway. Employees at train stations, grocery stores and movie theaters have all been kind and tolerant when I resort to English. However, why not learn it?! Spanish is awesome. I’ve been learning poco a poco here, and being able to communicate in multiple languages is more than a resume-skill; it’s exciting and beautiful and so alive. When I moved here the Catalan and Spanish languages were really exhausting for me, so learning something before you go (“I would like, please, thank you, and sorry”) can help you adapt better and sooner. 

How do you communicate if your students do not speak English?

It’s almost exactly like language classes in high school / university! Immersion works. With my younger students, we do less sentences and more just vocab words, letter sounds and simple sentence structures. My tutoring students are A2 and C1 level, so it’s fine to do immersion conversations. The A2 students I use more structure for, so that they have the tools to communicate, and they’re not just thrown in the deep end.

How did you find housing?

Housing is crazy. But it’s crazy everywhere, right?! The way it works in Barcelona is basically same day / same week turnaround. People post an empty room and have it filled within 7 days. In this sense, it’s nice, because you wait until you land to start looking. You see the apartment and meet the roommates in person. I booked an Airbnb for my first month (Aug 29 - Oct 1) and looked with apps that are popular here, like Idealista, Badi and Facebook. Like I said, it was highly competitive for renters in September - this is one of the most popular times for students and workers to start a contract. Here is where not knowing Spanish was a major pitfall for me, as fluent speakers commonly wanted to speak Spanish at home.

With this kind of turnaround, most apartments did not even get posted until the last week or two of September. Oftentimes when it felt like I was running out of options, 15 more places would get posted on September 24 or something (available for October). But you can do it! I have yet to hear of someone returning home because they literally had no options. 

How did you find a job? What is the ESL market like? Any tips?

I’m kind of outside the bubble here! I work for VIP KID, which means I work 20 hours a week from home, online. I teach students ages 5-12 in China for half hour classes. So I am not really employed at a school here! I do private tutoring which offers me spending money - it’s really nice to have Euro in hand for weekends, markets, and splitting the bill at a restaurant. I found these opportunities on TusClasesParticulares, which also posts school jobs. I originally got VIP KID as a “side hustle,” and a way to make money until I found a teaching job here. But I never really pursued working at academies - choosing my own schedule and not commuting, etc, were perks of VIP KID. Once I had one job I turned more to the apartment hunt and other things I had to figure out here. A few of my friends are employed by after school programs here, and the TEFL certification has helped all of us have confidence and land jobs.

Can you make enough money teaching in BCN to live comfortably and pay off student loans, travel, etc.?

This is what ITA calls a “break-even” location, not a “potential to save” location. I completely agree. While my income has been enough to support my lifestyle, pay my rent and pay one student loan monthly, I am still very much below the poverty line. You won’t be making a big-bucks salary here in any field - it’s just the way this city is. I’ve been able to do a couple 3 day vacations. I’m getting my 8 cavities filled (kill me!). Overall, I haven’t been scared of supporting myself, but my savings aren’t something to write home about. For financial purposes, you can make between $16 and $22/hr with VIP KID (before taxes). In 2018, I would say a fair price for a room in Barcelona is between 375E and 500E. I used the city to city comparison website to see how my spending habits in Columbus would pan out in Barcelona. Some people ONLY support themselves with VIP KID - some people ONLY support themselves with private tutoring. You will find your own balance of work to be able to afford what you want to do here. 

How can I prepare before the big move?

Learn Spanish! See your friends! Join Facebook Expat communities (one of the best aspects of being an ITA student / alumni). Try to find resources that will help you lesson plan later on, so that you can hit the ground running. Join libraries and set up the ebooks, so that you have access to English books for free. Do all the beaurocratic things, like telling your bank about the move, getting whatsapp, and figure out what to do with your cell phone. Also, get a credit card! So many people advised me against this, but I have no international fees and pay it off with my American bank. It’s perfect. And DON’T FORGET A WINTER COAT. I used mine a lot, surprisingly! 

How much should I save?

You’ll probably have three months between landing and receiving your first paycheck. Budget for 3 months of no income - eating takeout, buying groceries, getting a metro card. Extending your Airbnb you stupidly booked until only the 28th of September and not actually October 1. Your phone may break. You may get locked out. Emergencies happen, and having wiggle room helps you make smart decisions instead of desperate ones. I came here with $2500 and a blank credit card. I think more in the $4-5K range would help you breathe during all the searches. You can do it with less. But more money is like buying time.

How do you become a TEFL teacher and is it as amazing as it sounds?

For me, I pursued the International TEFL Academy online program. It was a great way for me to get certified while being at University, and saved me the cost of housing / etc that I would spend taking an in-person class. The online course was ten weeks, including quizzes and projects (mostly, writing lesson plans). After this, I contacted Ohio State’s American Language Program to pursue my in-person practicum. This meant working with our University’s instructors across Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced English courses for adults. The entire staff was incredibly helpful with this experience, and I met a buddy doing the same thing! We met during our internships and wrote lesson plans together, sometimes teaching joint lessons. Obviously, programs and TEFL Certifications vary with requirements, length and learning, but make sure yours is accredited so that it holds up internationally. My first lesson I was terrified! But I was lucky with my practicum too, because the teachers helped me ease in from leading a 15 minute activity to doing a full hour lesson plan solo. I don’t lesson plan with VIP KID (it’s done for you), but I do for my private lessons, and I just try to get them talking confidently as much as possible. Yesterday, we played HedBanz and we all had a blast.

What does a typical schedule look like and do you have time to do other things?

I wake up around 9am and do my thang until I teach 12-4. I have to write feedback for VIP KID, which generally takes a half hour. Lesson planning for my private students is probably 2h/wk of my time. This means most days I’m free around 4-5pm! I feel like I have so much time. Some days I can meet friends, sketch in the city and try a new recipe for dinner. Especially without commuting (besides 30m each way to my tutoring students), I have been able to own my time a lot here.

Do you need a degree?

ITA says Spain does not “require” this but it definitely helps. It is required for VIP KID. Other countries with less supply of American teachers, or different values for them, may be more lenient with this. For example, Japan may reimburse you with your flight, provide housing AND pay $2K/mo. Every market is different.

What happens when your tourist visa expires?

For the most part, nothing. Leaving the Schengen zone is the time where people may fine you or ban you from Europe. If you’re staying in Spain, your day-to-day lifestyle will likely not bring you within range of immigration control. Despite the “border-free” Schengen policy, some places like Paris will still make you go through customs in the airport and re-check your passport. For this reason, it is best to be smart about when and where you cross country borders. A few different sources have more information on this.

What have been some of the challenges you’ve faced?

I just wrote about this recently! Frustration with myself for not learning Spanish sooner. Homesick days (which are infrequent but can hit ya hard). Apartment hunting in September, but not so much in April. It is easy to live in the expat bubble here, so I would say it is challenging to meet and befriend local Spaniards. (Again, would help if I knew Spanish.) VIP KID has been amazing, but the first few months were unsteady with pay, which I didn’t account for in my moving budget. Winter is hard - even though it’s only 50 degrees here, it was still emotionally difficult. Finally, I really miss my design community and working in the field I’m so passionate about.

Final thoughts…would you change anything?

I don’t regret anything in my life, because even mistakes have lessons. Coming here with more money would have given me greater security in the beginning, but I’m scrappy and I persisted; when that happened I found out how strong I can be. Being in Barcelona has been a dream come true for me. I’ve made friends from all over the world, learned some Spanish, and have learned a lot about myself. It’s hard to say because my time here is still not over! I’m excited to keep learning about my values, who I am and what I want in my life. The culture here is AMAZING. People really value and enjoy their lives here. Get out here and dive in headfirst (preferably into some patatas bravas).

[robertkstone]

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Long-Term Verdict: One Year With a 707-HP Charger

Hellcat verdict? Aside from more, please? I spent 12 months with the most ridiculous sedan on earth: 707 horsepower divided by 365 is nearly 2 horsepower per day. Is that the most ridiculous sentence I’ve ever written?

But, let’s get serious: Did I learn anything after 26,012 miles seated in the deeply cushioned red barcaloungers that Dodge tries to pass off as bucket seats while averaging an almost respectable 14.9 mpg? I suppose you’d have to learn something—one entire elapsed year and all—but I have a hunch I learned the wrong lessons.

Normally with a long-term verdict you’re supposed to ascertain whether something such as the $1,500 black-painted roof was a worthwhile optional expenditure. The problem is I didn’t really remember that this car even had a blacked-out roof until I checked the window sticker. Because unlike regular cars, you don’t think about things like that when you’re living with a Hellcat.

I did appreciate the $995 Brass Monkey wheels, but mostly because Licensed to Ill by the Beastie Boys was the third album I ever bought—the first two being In 3-D by Weird Al Yankovic and Raising Hell by Run DMC. I’m Gen X, yo. Even still, I’m not so sure I’d opt for the $1,995 19-speaker Harman Kardon sound system. Oh, who am I kidding—of course I would! Of note is the fact that although I might have chewed through five sets of tires (one short of my initial goal of six sets in a year), nothing on the car broke. No matter how viciously we treated the Hellcat with Motor Trend’s version of accelerated wear and tear, only routine maintenance—like changing out 8 quarts of synthetic oil every 6,000 miles—was all the big red gal required.

One takeaway from living with a Charger Hellcat is if you’re able to control your right foot, the thing drives like a normal car. You might be thinking, “Hey man, anything’s a normal car if you don’t drive it like you stole it.” That’s not true of many performance machines. Take the Alfa Romeo 4C. It’s never a normal car, ever! The same is true for a Viper, a Nissan GT-R, or a Lamborghini Aventador. But the Hellcat version of the Charger can do a close approximation of a $29,090 SE model. It’s roomy, it’s surprisingly comfortable, the Uconnect infotainment system works pretty much OK, and the back seats are good for three adults, fantastic for two. But if any of the above figures into your decision to go out and purchase a Charger Hellcat—a $73,725 purchase that I highly recommend—you’re doing it wrong.

You buy the four-door Hellcat with the shrieking supercharger so you can see the look on the guy’s face at the tire shop as he once again chisels molten rubber off your exhaust pipes. You get yourself a 707-hp Charger so that when you’re virtually parked in traffic you can relieve tension by spinning the back wheels a bit. Not a big smoky burnout, but just enough to make everyone around you nervous. It helps both relieve the tension and break up the monotony. You buy yourself a Charger Hellcat because it’s as close to a concealed carry permit as there is in the automotive world. Just like a .357 Magnum under your coat, you always know the immense power is there, mere inches away.

There’s a tension to living with this car. Perhaps that’s what 12 months of Hellcat stewardship most taught me. It’s a constant tussle between you behaving like a upright citizen and four-wheeled, tail-out, tire-shredding anarchy. Do I have the strength to not pointlessly burn up a tank of gas today? It’s a moral struggle, a constant one.

There’s going to be a time—and it’s coming sooner than many of you think—that you won’t be able to waltz down to your local neighborhood Dodge dealer and drive away in a snarling, antisocial beast with a Satanized kitty cat head on the fender. Not only will cars be electric, but you’ll also be too busy InstaSnapTweeting to even want to drive them, assuming they’ll still let us. No one will speed, and cars most certainly will not burn out. I’m not saying the impending future is better or worse. I’m just saying it’s racing toward us. Quickly. The Hellcat, this Hellcat, any Hellcat, is a finger in the eye of that particular inevitability. Take a guess as to which finger.

More on our long-term Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat here:

Arrival

Update 1: Hungry, Hungry Hellcat

Update 2: How Our Hellcat Responds at the Track with New Tires

Update 3: Drag-Racing Fun at Best Driver’s Car

Update 4: The Hellcat Ruins Others

Update 5: Who Has The Hellcat?

Update 6: Kill All Tires Edition

Our Car SERVICE LIFE  13 mo / 26,012 mi BASE PRICE $68,640 OPTIONS Preferred pkg 23T ($1,995: Harman Kardon audio, 19 speakers, floor mats), black-painted roof ($1,500), Brass Monkey forged wheels ($995), P Zero summer tires ($595) PRICE AS TESTED $73,725 AVG ECON/CO2  14.9 mpg / 1.30 lb/mi PROBLEM AREAS  None MAINTENANCE COST $158 (2-oil change, inspection) NORMAL-WEAR COST $2,114 (2 sets Pirelli P Zero tires, mount and balance) 3-YEAR RESIDUAL VALUE*

$54,300

RECALLS None

*IntelliChoice data; assumes 42,000 miles at the end of 3-years

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat POWERTRAIN/CHASSIS DRIVETRAIN LAYOUT Front-engine, RWD ENGINE TYPE Supercharged 90-deg V-8, iron block/alum heads VALVETRAIN OHV, 2 valves/cyl DISPLACEMENT 376.3 cu in/6,166 cc COMPRESSION RATIO 9.5:1 POWER (SAE NET) 707 hp @ 6,000 rpm TORQUE (SAE NET) 650 lb-ft @ 4,800 rpm REDLINE 6,250 rpm WEIGHT TO POWER 6.4 lb/hp TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic AXLE/FINAL-DRIVE RATIO 2.62:1/1.76:1 SUSPENSION, FRONT; REAR Control arms, coil springs, adj shocks, anti-roll bar; multilink, coil springs, adj shocks, anti-roll bar STEERING RATIO 14.4:1 TURNS LOCK-TO-LOCK 2.5 BRAKES, F; R 15.4-in vented, grooved 2-pc disc; 13.8-in vented, grooved disc, ABS WHEELS, F;R 9.5 x 20 in forged aluminum TIRES, F;R 275/40ZR20 106Y Pirelli P Zero DIMENSIONS WHEELBASE 120.4 in TRACK, F/R 64.0/63.7 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 200.8 x 75.0 x 58.3 in TURNING CIRCLE 38.5 ft CURB WEIGHT 4,530 lb WEIGHT DIST, F/R 57/43 % SEATING CAPACITY 5 HEADROOM, F/R 38.6/36.6 in LEGROOM, F/R 41.8/40.1 in SHOULDER ROOM, F/R 59.5/57.9 in CARGO VOLUME 16.5 cu ft TEST DATA ACCELERATION TO MPH 0-30 1.9 0-40 2.6 0-50 3.3 0-60 4.2 0-70 5.2 0-80 6.1 0-90 7.1 0-100 8.4 PASSING, 45-65 MPH 1.7 QUARTER MILE 12.1 sec @ 123.4 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 103 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 0.93 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 24.4 sec @ 0.82 g (avg) TOP-GEAR REVS @ 60 MPH 1,600 rpm CONSUMER INFO BASE PRICE $68,640 PRICE AS TESTED $73,725 STABILITY/TRACTION CONTROL Yes/Yes AIRBAGS 7: Dual front, front side, f/r curtain, driver knee BASIC WARRANTY 3 yrs/36,000 miles POWERTRAIN WARRANTY 5 yrs/60,000 miles ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE 5 yrs/100,000 miles FUEL CAPACITY 18.5 gal EPA CITY/HWY/COMB ECON 13/22/16 mpg ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY 259/153 kW-hrs/100 miles CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB 1.22 lb/mile REAL MPG, CITY/HWY/COMB 17.0/24.6/19.8 mpg RECOMMENDED FUEL Unleaded premium

[gemini75eeyore]

CRAZY LOVE

CRAZY LOVE

Char: Jensen, Reader, Jeff (AC) Mentioned: Jared, Amber (AC)

Warnings: Cursing a little, no others

Chapter 5

Ok, so Jensen is really more enthusiastic than you thought about singing with you. You decide that he’s probably close to his computer so you test that thought. “Hey Jensen, I’m doing ok. A little overwhelmed,” You say keeping it short. Not even 5 minutes later Jensen replies. “Why are you overwhelmed? :( Jensen.” Well, it seems that he’s right there. “Well as you asked, Yes, Amber did call. She called me right after you sent me a friend request and messenger request,” you’re still keeping somewhat short. “Oh, what did she say? Is that why you’re overwhelmed? Jensen.” “She said that you all want me to come to Pittsburgh to sing with you in Sept,” you replied “Did that overwhelm you? Jensen.” “No, actually her praising my singing and how great you and I sound together did,” you replied “Well, you have an amazingly beautiful voice. Jensen” “I’ve known I have a decent voice but I never thought of it to the extent of the compliments that I have received from you and Amber,” you replied blushing “Y/N, you have no idea of how beautiful your voice truly is, do you? Jensen” You look at the time. “Well Jensen I really wish that I had more time to talk with you for but unfortunately I have to get ready for work now :( I’ll message you back when I get off and we can talk again if you’re up,” you say realizing you need to get ready for work. You wanted to talk to him all night but you can’t afford to call in so that maybe you will be able to get the time off to go to PA. “Ok, Y/N, we’ll talk later but really quick if you don’t mind me asking if it’s not too personal. Can I ask what it is that you do for a living? Jensen” “It’s fine. I make pizzas and donuts for Casey’s kitchen. :)” You say smiling. “Awesome, I love pizza! Talk you later, Y/N! Jensen” You thought about your conversation with Jensen while you were taking your shower and getting ready for work. In the back of your mind, you were still wondering if this truly was Jensen or was someone really fucking with you. You decided that it would be best to see what else you learn from the next conversation you have. You finished getting ready and then left for work. When you got there, it was busy and orders were still coming in. And as usual, nothing was prepped so you knew that it was going to be another long day. Jensen leaned back against the couch and sighed. He was sad that he couldn’t talk with you until later. He didn’t ask how long you had to work but he figured it was at least 8 hrs. He decided to call Jared to see what they were doing. Jared said they were just going to watch some movies and chill with kids and that Jensen could join them if he wanted. Jensen politely said he would think about it and let him know if he decided to join them. Jensen looked at his phone and realized it was only 6 o'clock. He decided to go get some take out. When he got home, he sat down and decided to watch whatever was on CW while he ate. When he finished, he realized it was about 7 pm. He decided to call a couple of his high school buddies to see what they were doing. They said they were thinking of going to have a couple of beers and asked Jensen if he wanted to go. Jensen liked the idea and agreed to go. He decided to text Jared and let him know that he was having a few beers with his high school buddies. Jensen was staring off into space when Jeff, one of his buddies tried to get his attention. Jeff said, “Man you’ve been in your own little world since I picked you up. What gives?” Jensen looks at Jeff and says, “What do you mean?” “You’ve been staring into space all night. What are thinking about?” Jeff asked, trying to figure out what has held Jensen’s attention all night. Jensen just gives a slight smile and says “Y/N”. Jeff says, “Who?” “This amazing singer I met at the ChiCon last month.” Jensen’s smiled got bigger as he was picturing you singing. Jeff says “Wow! You’re hooked, buddy!” Jensen’s smile drops immediately and he gives Jeff a stern look so Jeff just backs away slightly. After another round, Jensen’s back to staring off into space and smiling again. Jeff says “It’s almost 11 pm and I have to work in the morning. Are you ready Jay?” Jensen had to be snapped back to reality again. Jensen said, “Sure.” When Jensen gets in the door, he hangs his keys up and decides to check to see if he had a message from you. It was just past 11:30 and no message yet so he decided that he would take a shower to get the stench of the bar off of him. He hoped that by the time he got dressed that maybe you would have messaged him. He can’t get you out of his head especially now that you and he started IM messaging. Jensen is too excited to go to sleep thinking about you. It was about 12:30 am when you got home and you were exhausted. You shot Jensen a quick message telling him that you were getting a shower and that you would message him when you were out of the shower. You jump in the shower and when the hot water hits you, you then realize how sore your muscles are so you just stand there enjoying the hot water soothing your aching muscles. After a few minutes, you started washing then got out and got dressed in your PJs. You were so happy that you had the next 2 days off. You decided to grab your laptop to message Jensen. You doubt that he would be awake so you just shot him a simple little message. “Hey Jensen, I figure you’re probably asleep by now but I did tell you that I would message you when I got out of the shower :)” You don’t expect him to reply so you close the IM window and then go to Amazon to continue watching “True Blood” again. You were again 10 minutes into the next episode when you got a message from Jensen. You were surprised he was still up. Your face lit up when you saw it was him. Jensen was waiting up for you. “Hey Y/N! I didn’t think I was going to hear from you. How was work? Jensen” “I thought you would be asleep but I’m glad you’re not. Work was crazy busy. How was your night?” you’re trying to stick to small talk. “Sorry, it was so busy. I went out with a couple of my high school buddies. It was quiet. Jensen” Jensen didn’t mention that you were the only thing he thought about since your conversation earlier. “Thanks. Good to hear you got to spend time with some friends.” You weren’t sure what you really wanted to say next. You’re still a little nervous that this isn’t actually him. Before you could think another thought Jensen sent another message. “Hey, I was just wondering something but I’m a kinda nervous to ask because we haven’t been talking very long but…Jensen” “hmmm, what would that be?” you ask trying to guess in your head what he could be about to ask. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to video chat? Jensen” You froze. You were sitting there with a towel around your head and your robe. You hadn’t got dressed yet…

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