#woo yeah baby love anxiety!!
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saltinesinsoup · 2 years ago
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oughhhhhhh
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pshcomforts · 10 months ago
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➳ broken love | psh.
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dad!sunghoon x mom!femreader
“every time i think of you, it’s just killing me”
synopsis: you and sunghoon still see each other whenever your guys’ daughter, seo-ji, is dropped off to one another — and it’s obvious you two still love each other, even after the divorce papers were finalized.
warnings/content: written in third pov. angsty fluff(?) — mostly angst. kind of aged up(?). not proofread. cursing (i think). unresolved tension. mentions of pregnancy. reader used to hate kids (lmao).
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 3.4k
a/n: part two — ₊˚ʚ try again ɞ˚₊
fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend).
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: broken love by gemini
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
0:48 ───|──────────────── 2:04
y/n’s heart was heavy with the burden of being at his doorstep.
“you got this,” she mumbled to herself, knocking the door with shaky hands.
a happy scream of a child was made, one that she knew at heart. her face lit up at the instant yell, already recognizing that it was no other than her adorable daughter, seo-ji.
“mommy’s here! mommy’s here!” the little kid screamed at the other end.
little shakes of the doorknob were heard before it opened to who she expected; her daughter and of course, her ex-husband, park sunghoon.
she felt her heart slightly shatter at the sight of him, anxiety taking over inch by inch.
“hey y/n,” he awkwardly said. her head nodded in response — “hey sunghoon.”
there was quick tension between them, both truthfully not knowing what to say after coming to terms of the divorce.
they still loved each other, longed for each other in fact.
“mommy!” their baby girl intruded, arms opening wide at the sight of her caretaker.
y/n’s face instantly lit up at her little girl, embracing the sweet hug she offered. “hey princess, how was your day with daddy?” she exclaimed with kisses around her daughter’s cheeks.
seo-ji giggled at the act with an utter — “mommy, stop!!”
the mom smiled at her, noticing her light dimples on display inherited from her father.
“it was good! daddy couldn’t stop talking about you and him though!!”
her sudden callout made y/n look at her ex-husband, finding him in a small blushing state.
“aish seo-ji, you said my secret was safe with you!!” he quickly exclaimed to avert her gaze, hands immediately finding their way to his daughter — tickling her all around.
y/n’s eyes softened at the sight, lips automatically upturning to a sweet smile. she missed this, the feeling of being a happy family.
when the giggles from seo-ji soon drowned out, she ran to go get her stuff from the apartment, leaving the two divorcees alone with each other.
they both quickly became awkward and tense like earlier. their hesitant glances towards one another were evidence that their relationship was on good terms only for their daughter, and perhaps more.
but for the time being, everything and anything was uncomfortable between them.
“so.. heard from jake that you have a date tonight?” y/n suddenly blurted, trying to break the ice.
the male’s head shot up. “hm? oh yeah..,” he paused — “sunoo just set it up for me, and practically begged me to go so…,” his voice weakened at the end with an awkward chuckle spurted out.
she nodded at his reasoning in return— “that’s good..,” she slightly trailed off at the end.
“and you?” he squeaked.
y/n gave a small laugh with a shake on her head. “oh no.. my life revolves around our little girl now. she will always have my full attention.” her eyes shifted from sunghoon to her daughter in the background, hearing the rushed talks from seo-ji as she tried to swiftly gather her belongings.
“she’s my life,” she murmured with a smile she didn’t know she had.
as her gaze stayed on their little girl, sunghoon kept his on her. his eyes sparkled with love that he still had for her — love that had never been resolved.
he missed her and her warmth. just everything about her, really.
but the divorce between them was still fresh, giving them fresh wounds to heal from — wounds that had been cut open from their constant fights and arguments.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ — flashback
“sunghoon, please.” y/n sighed in a groggy expression.
“i’m tired too, can’t you see that? you can’t be the only one acting tired here.” he reverted back with a slight eye roll.
“i’ve been watching her all day, you were barely home.”
“you think i’d rather be out, doing work?” he spat. “i’d much rather stay home with our little girl, but does it look like i have a choice? i’m trying to provide for us.”
the girl groaned. “i’m trying to let seo-ji have a good life, you think that she can do that with only me?”
sunghoon clicked his tongue in annoyance as he slightly walked away. his hands were firmly on his hips as he uttered, “did you not just hear me? i want the best for my daughter too, i want to be there too. you’re the one who gets to be with her, i don’t.”
she sighed at his words, heart breaking down each time she let it ring in her ears. she was glad her baby was staying with min-su and her partner, heeseung for the night. the couple came to pick her up towards the end of the day, giving her and sunghoon a moment to say things.
and with their raised voices and constant arguing, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for them. otherwise, it would’ve woken her sweet girl.
“sunghoon..,”
she watched him roll his watery eyes. “what?” he croaked in a weakened tone, voice cracking with every strength he had to hold back his breakdown.
she didn’t continue, letting his eyes meet hers so they could speak their worries through the dreaded gaze.
“this isn’t working..,”
he sighed at the painful truth. “i know… it’s not.”
the two were sat a few feet away from each other as they came to terms of their situation. constant miscommunication and bottled feelings drifted their relationship apart.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“okay, mommy, ready!” seo-ji yelled, quickly clasping onto her mom’s hands. “bye daddy!”
y/n formed a half smile towards her old lover. “let me know when you’ll pick her up,” she mumbled.
sunghoon gave soft kisses towards his daughter before the two walked away — giving him memories of when he’d kiss his used-to-be girl goodbye whenever she left anywhere.
a faint sigh left his throat as he stumbled back into his apartment.
“i should get ready..,” he said to himself, walking away to his planned outfit.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
“hey baby, what are you doing?” ji-woo sweetly uttered to her friend’s daughter.
“i’m trying to draw you, auntie ji-woo!” seo-ji yelled back.
a few giggles went around as min-su uttered, “ooh! me next!”
“okay! wait! i’m almost done!”
y/n’s little girl beamed an eye smile, causing ji-woo to say — “she has your eyes.”
“yeah, but she has her dad’s cute smile.” y/n responded, letting her gaze linger on seo-ji’s adorned features.
“so.. you heard about sunghoon right?” dae mumbled with a lip bite.
she quickly glanced at jungwon’s boyfriend before looking back at her daughter, who peered her head up at her dad’s name.
“daddy?” seo-ji whispered.
y/n smiled and nodded. “mhm, daddy’s going out with a friend tonight, that’s why you’re with me!” she gave a soft ruffle to her little girl’s wavy hair — inherited from her mom, of course.
“how long will he be gone? i miss him.”
“you miss him? but i’m with you! how could you miss him when mommy is right here?” y/n pouted, hiding her grin.
“your mommy’s sad now, seo-ji! what are you gonna do!” yelled min-su with a slight gasp.
“oh no!” dae beamed.
“noo! i’m sorry!” seo-ji quickly exclaimed, jumping on her feet to comfort her mom. “help me, auntie min-su and uncle dae! ..mommy??” she poked her mom’s arm.
y/n peeked down at her and found her bulged, puppy eyes melting her heart instantly.
“i’m sorry! i like you just as much as i like daddy!”
“like? you don’t.. love?” the mom teased with a plastered grin.
“oh my gosh, your daughter’s trying to apologize to you!” dae chimed in, playfully scoffing.
y/n huffed out mounds of laughter in her stomach before forgiving her empathetic daughter. she tucked a few hair strands behind her ears, placing soft kisses on her forehead while murmuring, “i forgive you, seo-ji. are you hungry?”
the little girl furiously nodded her head as min-su uttered — “me too!” — followed by ji-woo and dae to chime in as well, causing y/n to laugh with a healing heart.
her daughter and her friends were all she needed.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
seo-ji remained in the dining room area, eating with rolled up sleeves and a tied hair done by her mom.
y/n and her three friends were near but stayed closer to the living room, carefully hearing for the little girl just in case something happened.
“she eats just like you,” min-su said with a slight snort.
her words caused a wide chuckle to erupt out of her friend. “seo-ji’s been with me a lot so i wouldn’t be surprised if she ate just like me.” y/n murmured back with her eyes staring at her daughter.
“are you really okay with the whole sunghoon thing though?”
she glanced at ji-woo who said it, but only nodded.
“nothing much i can do about it, he’s moving on.”
her heart tore a little, ripping open another wound in her chest that was barely healing. she didn’t like how every sentence she spewed left a bitter taste in her mouth, but what else could she do?
“i’m really sorry for how things turned out..,” one of her friends sympathetically said to her.
“it’s okay.. my little girl is all i need.” she murmured, glancing at seo-ji who was just about done.
“mommy! i’m done!”
just as y/n was about to get up, ji-woo stood first.
“don’t worry girl, i’ll get her.”
before the mom could protest, her friend had already rushed to seo-ji. a small smile formed on her face, feeling grateful for all three.
“come on, seo-ji, let’s wash your hands!”
“auntie ji-woo, where’s uncle jake? he’s always here.”
the two walked away to the bathroom, giving ji-woo the chance to give her reasoning that no uncles except dae would join for tonight.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a few hours in, and seo-ji was wrapped in y/n’s arms now.
the little girl was settling into her nap time, eyes closing in an instant with the comforting warmth her mom radiated.
y/n continued to tuck a few wavy hair strands away from her daughter’s face, gaze fixated on every gorgeous feature she inherited from her and sunghoon combined.
“i never thought i’d actually see you become a mom.” ji-woo confirmed with a proud smile.
“we’re proud of you,” dae added in.
“you used to always hate kids, but now here you are, having one of your own in your arms.” min-su softly uttered, careful to not wake her niece.
everyone’s eyes gathered on the little girl who was softly snoring in her sleep.
y/n’s eyes were softened the most.
she did, in fact, hate kids, but she loved and cherished her daughter — her daughter, who she never imagined to have.
“it feels like we’ve seen you grown up,” ji-woo continued her sad talk. “remember when you always told us that you and sunghoon would be the last to have kids out of all of us?”
the four broke out into laughter as they thought back to their years of being in college.
“yeah..,” y/n’s heart sank as she remembered how good her and sunghoon used to be. “we were so sure of ourselves that we’d have kids after you all had yours too. we were so bad with handling kids before we had our little girl.”
she smiled back at the memory before hearing dae intrude — “now look at you, you were the first to have a kid.”
“me and heeseung next,” min-su prompted, causing hushed laughter to fill the air.
y/n beamed a wide grin afterwards, standing up to settle her baby down in the bedroom.
after doing it with ease, she walked back out and found dae specifically sitting where she had told sunghoon she was pregnant.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ — flashback
“gorgeous, what happened??” sunghoon bursted out the door, heavy breaths of air leaving his lungs.
he clenched onto his chest with his eyes sewed shut, desperately gasping for oxygen as his girlfriend stayed sitting on the couch in silence.
“y/n? you okay?” he said in a softer tone. “what’s wrong?”
“sunghoon..,” she whimpered.
her head turned to meet his gaze, and almost immediately, her reddened eyes that were puffed from her tears worried the poor boy.
“hey, hey, why are you crying?” he attempted to comfort, arms immediately bringing her into his embrace.
“hoonie…,” she quietly called again.
sunghoon pulled away with a comforting hand placed on her cheek.
“what’s wrong, pretty?”
“i’m..,” y/n sighed with a heavy heart, feeling a lump in her throat as she uttered, “i’m pregnant.”
the male paused every muscle movement in his body. “w..what? you’re what?” he said in denial.
“i’m pregnant,” she repeated, fingers fidgeting around little picks of skin.
it now added up for sunghoon — all of why she was suddenly moody, why her period was delayed, why she kept talking about feeling sick — the girl he loved was pregnant.
a gasp of air left him as he grinned ear to ear, heart feeling full with the thought of a baby on the way.
“you’re pregnant,” he reiterated with an upbeat tone. “you’re really pregnant.” he quickly stood on his feet before yelping in joy. tears were quick to fill his eyes as he felt like someone who had just won the lottery.
as her boyfriend continued to celebrate, y/n stayed sitting, chewing on her lips in fear.
“sunghoon.. please sit..,”
the boy quickly obliged, though his excitement still seeped through him in every way possible.
slowly, her eyes trailed up to meet his. and almost instantly, her heart fluttered at how handsome he looked — but it shattered within seconds of the news she was gonna deliver to him.
“i don’t know if i want this…,” she cracked out.
“o..oh…,” hoon blinked with a dry throat. “you don’t want to keep the baby?”
y/n quickly shook her head, tears already filling her eyes for the worst outcome.
but his hands placed itself on hers, letting his fingers cling around to reassure while he continued — “it’s your decision, gorgeous, i won’t force you.”
she shot her head up at him, and sunghoon only pushed his lips together to form a confirming smile.
“having a baby with you is what i want, but just not right now. we’re too young, and we’re both barely starting life and-“
her constant blabbering was shut up by a quick peck on the lips from her boyfriend. “we are young, y/n, but this decision is entirely up to you. i want this with you, and i want to be a dad but if you decide that you don’t want to yet, then that’s okay.”
sunghoon’s thumb rubbed little strokes on her crying cheeks as he spoke with his caring eyes.
he wanted the baby, but he wanted y/n more.
“can i think about this first?” she uttered with sparkling eyes.
his thick brows knitted together to convey how she could even question a thing like that. “of course you can, pretty girl. think about it, and let me know.”
the boy placed a sweet and comforting kiss on his girl’s forehead before pulling her into a hug.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
what broke y/n’s heart the most was how the stress of raising a child never bothered to pop into their head until later — when the continuous struggles got to the soon-married couple.
all they wanted was to be a family, and all they wanted was to have their daughter have loving parents who were in a loving relationship.
and of course they had their moments of joy when everything felt perfect for a while.
like when sunghoon would sleep closely next to seo-ji when she was an infant after watching her all day, and his body would be facing toward his baby girl. then y/n would come home, find them softly snoring, and laugh silently to herself when catching onto her baby’s wavy hair contrasting with hoon’s messy hair that fell to the front of his face.
or when seo-ji would wake up in some mornings with a sudden, personal preference on which parent she wanted — it mainly being y/n. and their little girl would cling onto her, making sunghoon pout in return of how his daughter had most of his features but would much rather be with her mom. little complaints would leave his mouth, but he secretly loved to see his small family together.
or, when seo-ji was still one, and sunghoon remained persistent in going ice skating so the three went to an ice rink. their baby would be dressed in warm clothing with mini earmuffs and gloves wrapped around her hands. and hoon would carefully glide the little girl around, letting her get used to the constant slippery surface while y/n personally sat the ice skating out and recorded instead.
or even, when they’d go to gatherings planned by their friends and everyone would instantly go to seo-ji, leaving the exhausted parents to intertwine their hands and watch how much their friends adored their child. little murmurs of — “us next?” would constantly be heard all around while uncle jay would try and snatch her away from everyone else.
nothing could beat those fond memories that were shared upon sunghoon, y/n, and their special little girl, seo-ji.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a sigh left y/n as she walked to her ex-husband’s apartment. days had gone by since she was last here to pick her daughter up, and now she’s dropping her off once again.
“be good okay? i know daddy probably misses you a lot,” she muttered, hands moving her daughter’s strands of hair.
“mhm! i will!”
a few knocks on the door were made before it creaked open to the handsome man, sunghoon.
“daddy!” seo-ji yelled, quickly detangling her hands from her mom’s to jump into hoon’s arms.
“seo-ji! how’s my little girl?” he left constant kisses around her cheeks, causing little laughter to burst out of her.
y/n beamed a smile at the sight in front of her. she knew they weren’t a family anymore, but it was somewhat healing to know that they could still share loving moments like this.
she heard her old partner yell out in joy, laughing with their daughter and giving wide grins that still secretly lit up her heart.
she still loved him.
“alright, i’m gonna take off, but be good, seo-ji. i’ll come pick you up some time soon, okay?” y/n mumbled.
her baby girl stood with a pout. “you’re leaving already?” she frowned. “you can’t! i don’t want you to! just stay a little longer in daddy’s house.”
y/n immediately chuckled at her daughter’s words. “i have to go, i have to meet auntie ji-woo and them soon.”
seo-ji’s eyes were quickly filled with tears as her bottom lip puffed out. “please mommy..,”
the mom’s heart shattered at her words but she only sighed.
“i’m sorry baby, i’ll come soon though okay?”
her daughter sighed as well before giving a tight hug around her mom.
sunghoon watched his two girls with soft eyes, heart slightly melting at this cherishing memory.
he loved the little things like this when they were still together.
and the one thing that always made him fall in love with y/n even more was how she always mentioned her hatred for kids, but when their daughter came into their life, she immediately loved her with no resentment.
everything about y/n was his weakness and it still showed because —
he still loved her.
“i’ll miss you,” seo-ji muffled through her sobs.
“i’ll miss you too, seo-ji.” y/n pulled away, wiping the tears from her sweet girl as she placed a soft kiss on her cheeks. “have fun with dad though, he misses you a lot too.”
she glanced up to hoon with a half smile. “okay i have to go because if i’m any later, uncle dae will be scolding me! here’s her backpack.”
the girl raised the bag and allowed sunghoon to take it, letting his fingers softly graze against hers.
there was a flicker — a spark, almost, at their little touch.
something was obviously still alive between the two when they glanced up at each other, eyes quickly shifting back and forth with their unresolved tension.
a linger was made present in the air, both not wanting to break the locked gaze but needing to anyway.
y/n walked away after saying one last goodbye to her daughter, feeling heavily burdened at the weighed pressure in her heart; while sunghoon closed the door behind him, mind and heart painfully filled with the memory of his ex-wife, and the mere thought of how much he loved her.
they knew they couldn’t though.
they shouldn’t, for the sake of their daughter, seo-ji.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
a/n: i just wanted to say as well, that i see the requested oneshots in my inbox, and i will try my best to write them! but it may take me a while, so please be patient with me <3 also someone tell me if this oneshot came out okay bc i wrote this at 3am with tired eyes..
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lovebugism · 1 year ago
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Shy!reader who has never had a valentine and Steve who pulls out alllll the stops to make up for this—flowers, chocolate, jewelry, candles, a nice dinner, even stuff like a teddy bear and those cheesy kid valentines
happy love day <3 — steve helps his shy gf celebrate her very first valentine's day (shy!reader, established relationship, cw for brief mentions of anxiety, 1k)
Valentine’s Day afternoon is grey and gloomy, but your beaming makes up for it. You’re smiling wide and sparkling with it the second you see Steve waiting for you in the parking lot outside your work. He’d promised to pick you up, yes, but you’re always giddy at the sight of him.
“Hey, babe,” the boy greets with his own grin, crooked and perfectly pink. 
He looks all cool, leaning against the driver’s side of his car. Pristine sneakers crossed over one another, sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, strands of cinnamon hair draping his forehead — how are you supposed to do anything but melt for him?
“Hi,” you respond in a tinier voice, walking closer to him now. You duck your chin to your chest and peer at him through your lashes, always so painfully shy.
“Did you have a good day?”
“It was alright,” you shrug and plant yourself in front of him. The deep scent of cologne staining his shirt combines with the earthy scent of impending rain. The concoction makes you dizzy. “Kept thinking about seeing you the whole time, though.”
Your confession makes the bridge of his chiseled nose scrunch. 
“Well, that makes two of us,” he quips before revealing the bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. A small thing wrapped in pale pink tissue paper — pastel lavenders and pale baby’s breath — as pretty and delicate as you are.
You light up instantly, eyes glittering as they flit from the bushel of flowers to Steve’s proud grin. “You got me flowers?” you wonder, quiet with disbelief. You take them with a soft, trembling hand.
Steve shrugs. “‘Course I did.”
You bury your nose in the perfumed florals and flash a sheepish look over them. “No boy’s ever gotten me flowers before…”
Steve knows this. He knows you’ve never had a valentine before him — that you’ve never been with anyone the way you’ve been with him. It’s why he’s always so soft and perfectly patient with you.
“‘Cause other boys are stupid,” he says, grinning when it makes you giggle. He takes another step closer to you and smooths his warm palms over your arms. His thumbs rub gently along the outsides of your elbow. “Do you like them?”
“I love them,” you insist, smiling so wide it hurts. “They’re gonna look so pretty in my room.”
“Want me to take you home then? So you can get ready for tonight?”
Your brows pinch at his mischievous tone. “What’s tonight?”
“Dinner. I wanna take you to that fancy, new Italian place in the city.”
“Oh.” Your panic is subtle but still written all over your face. You’re not good at going out — you’re worse at trying new things. Steve’s certainly made you braver, but you’re always a little timid at heart. 
Steve knows this and assures with a soft smile, “But we don’t have to if you don’t want. It was just a suggestion.”
“I want to,” you hear yourself say.
His brows raise, visibly shocked. “You do?”
There’s something about the way he looks at you, with a glimmer in his deep brown eyes, that makes you bold. You nod once, firm and foreignly confident. “Yeah.”
Steve tries not to be too obvious about his smiling, but he wears his love for you all over his face without trying. “Then let’s go.”
—————
Rain beats heavy against the window of the candle-lit restaurant, a wild and delicate cadence. The flickering flame paints Steve’s smile golden while his eyes glow a shining amber. He tries to woo you like you’re not wearing the pretty dress he bought you — like you’re not wearing his initial in a pendant dangling between your breasts.
“You’re the Obi-Wan for me,” he jokes before taking a hearty bite of his steak. He chews through the mouthful and gestures with his fork. “You know. Like only one—”
“I get it,” you assure with a sickly sweet smile.
He’s been doing this for a better part of an hour. The Valentine’s Day crowd rushed in, and your waiter got your order wrong, and the whole thing spun you into a tizzy. Steve’s been trying to distract you from your nerves ever since. And it’s worked. Mostly.
“Well, you’re not laughing!” he retorts, playful in his solemnity. “That one was good— you gotta give me some credit.”
“It was,” you assure with a quiet nod. You don’t say it like you mean it, but more like you’re trying to appease him.
“Are you saying you can come up with a better one?” he teases.
You think for a moment, doe eyes flitting across the droplets sliding down the window beside you. Your glossed lips purse all pretty to the side with the weight of your pondering. A smile tugs slow at your lips when you turn back to him. “Obi-Wan Ke-bone-me.”
A laugh sputters from Steve’s mouth. As pure and innocent as sunshine. He nods with a proud, lopsided smile. “You’re right. That was way better.”
“I Obi-Want you tonight,” you follow, giggling still.
“You are on fire tonight, you know that?”
You laugh again, louder this time. Steve beams at the pretty sound and waits until you’ve scooped a too-big bite of pasta in your mouth to compliment you. “You’re so pretty…” he murmurs in a low, honeyed tone. His eyes sparkle with amber, warm and visibly fond.
You stop mid-chew to scowl. You’re too cute to look threatening — especially when you’ve got spare sauce dotted on the corner of your mouth. “Stop…” you scold after you’ve swallowed down the mouthful.
Steve laughs, loud and boyish. “You are!”
“You’re being too nice…” you grouse with your nose scrunched.
“I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be nice.”
“But not this nice,” you insist, smiling despite yourself. You twirl noodles around your fork to busy your fidgeting hand. Your sheepish gaze flits from the half-empty plate to the beautiful boy in front of you. “I think you’re starting to ruin everyone else for me, Stevie…”
His chest sparkles with a warmer feeling. “Well, yeah,” he shrugs. “That was kinda the plan here, babe.”
“Was it?”
“Uh-huh,” he nods and folds his arms over the white-clothed table. He grins wide and leans in close.  His cinnamon eyes sparkle with a mixture of adoration and mischief. “You fell right into my trap.”
You smile back at him, so happy that you did.
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torturedtypewritersdept · 24 days ago
Text
blue eyes + bruises - part one
✯ pairing:
doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader
✯ summary:
a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.
✯ warnings:
mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.
✯ a/n:
nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :)
Sarah doesn't have lunch often with her brother, but she does today, placing the responsibility of taking care of him on herself, as she always does. Her latest manifestation of this fact is you – her best friend since her college days. He doesn’t know it, but she’s coming to him with a proposition; your sweetness and his intelligence – she knows they’d meld together like a puzzle and that’s precisely why she’s set up a date between the two of you for this evening. She enters the hospital cafeteria slowly, spotting him from across the gigantic space. His shoulders are slumped and she clocks a limp in his step, instantly sure he’s been on his feet for far too long. She smiles softly as they lock eyes and notices his are far more sunken in than she’d like them to be; in fact, they almost resemble the dark black holes of a skull missing its skin and as he makes his way feverishly through the cafeteria line, she wonders if he’s okay. 
“Rafe – you look like you haven’t eaten in six days.” 
She scolded as the older Cameron made his way to the table and sat his tray down across from her. 
“I eat.” 
He grunted in response, rolling his blue orbs into the back of his head at her incessant need to pick him apart in the form of worry. This was why he didn’t return to North Carolina after college, after all. Though he couldn’t in part blame it all on his baby sister, the discontent of his father and the enthralling energy of the city had wooed him and his bride. 
“Yeah, okay, hot shot.” 
She replied, laughing, throwing a french fry in his direction.  
“You’re gonna be mad but I've promised your hand to someone for the evening.” 
She said, giggling. 
“Dammit, Sarah!” 
He replied, the huff that escaped like that of an agitated dog.  
“Come on, big brother! Please – she’s my sweet friend from college and she’s nice and shy and she –” 
“I don’t care. I’m not going.” 
Rafe interjected aggressively. 
“Well, too fucking bad. I already told her you agreed and I’d really hate it if you stood her up. It was like pulling teeth to get her to agree to even give you a chance.” 
“Too. Fucking. Bad.” 
He gritted out. 
“No – don’t play with me, I know you. Rafe Cameron is a lot of things, but he isn’t cruel and it took a lot of convincing for her to come out anyways, so please.” 
Squinting her eyes in annoyance and shaking her head, she waged her war with him blatantly, tired of his bullshit only five minutes into the conversation in only a way that he could ignite.
“Tell that to Molly. She thinks I am.” 
He whispered. 
“No she didn’t – doesn’t.” 
She caught herself, two years later still not used to talking about her sister-in-law in past tense. 
“Just go – please. Get out of this hospital and those fucking ugly scrubs.” 
She pleaded, her soft blue eyes always something he had to give into. 
“Fine, Sarah, I’ll fucking go.” 
He growled, jerking his plate closer to him as he began munching on the chicken tenders that sat in front of him.
— 
Rafe was dreading this date, he didn’t know you or what you were even like and let’s be honest, he hasn’t dated in literal years, hasn’t even given it a thought. After Molly departed from him, he ate, slept, and breathed life in the hospital, too afraid to be in his home alone – too afraid the silence and lack of love would swallow him home; death by a thousand cuts. He felt like that was probably normal for the situation he had found himself in; divorce in the form of death. He stared at himself in the mirror of the locker room, being sure he was ready as his hand tousled through his unruly hair. 
“Sarah’s right – I do look like shit.” 
He muttered, suddenly wondering what this unknown woman would think of him.
 He made his way down the linoleum lined hallway and out of the hospital door a few moments later, the familiar red shine of ambulance lights just out of his peripheral and the screech of the alarm coming from the rig coming to a stop. He watched carefully as they pulled a young woman from the back, her limbs splinted and blood covering her. He wasn't sure what it was; fate or an uneasy stomach, these days he hardly had the capacity to tell the difference. But, whatever the force behind it, she pulled him toward her and as he got close, the date he had planned for suddenly slipped his mind. 
— 
Everything hurt – that was the first thing your brain registered as you pulled your eyes open, the sound of a siren and the beat of your heart blaring simultaneously in your ears. The siren was close, you could tell, but you seemed so distant from it at the same time, so far away and fleeting. You closed your eyes, the darkness overcoming you. It only felt like they had been closed for five seconds, but you were sure it had been longer as you heard the sound of a man’s voice and felt wind around you, signaling your brain that you were moving by the sound of rickety wheels beneath you. The man sounded handsome and kind, his voice deep as it bellowed in the air around you. 
“What do we got?” 
He asked with urgency, looking pointedly at the paramedics, a team of doctors surrounding him. 
“25 year old female, car accident. She went through the windshield – crush injuries, concussion, internal bleeding – she’s barely hanging on.” 
He gingerly nodded at the words of the paramedic and brought a pen light from his pocket, pulling your eyelids back and shining it into them. A groan escaped your lips at the intrusion. 
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” 
His voice penetrated your ears and for some reason unbeknownst to you, your brain pulled your eyes open, fighting to get to whoever the voice belonged. As you took in the blue eyes that stood over you, you registered who the voice belonged to – sounds and words you could barely register coming from his mouth again. 
“I’m Dr. Rafe Cameron, I’m gonna take care of you, okay?” 
He spoke, sliding his hand in yours, giving you a kind smile. 
“Can you squeeze my hand, for me?” 
Your senses weren’t intact, numbness infiltrated your being but you could feel his calloused hand as it slipped into yours and with all the energy that remained in your body, you squeezed his hand weakly. He smiled – bright and breathtakingly beautiful, teeth so perfectly in line that you were sure he had orthodontic work at some point. You noticed the crinkles by his eyes as his lips parted and his lips turned up. You suddenly regretted not shaving your legs this morning, taking in his handsomely sculpted jaw as he turned his head sideways, stretching his hands across you. You were unsure what was happening until you felt him unhooking the straps that you now realized were draped across your body, securing you to the bed you laid on.
“Move her on three – one, two, three.” 
He chanted out, voice bellowing as his words controlled the move of every person in the room. You weren’t sure what kind of doctor Rafe was, but you knew he was important, that he was a leader, as every nurse and bystander operated under his sole instruction. You closed your eyes as the hands of the people around you lifted you from one bed to another, the jostling of your body breaking through the heavy cloud of numbness and what started as a whimper but quickly turned into a full-fledged bloody murder scream escaped your lips. 
“Easy, sweetheart. I know it hurts.” 
His hands made their way to your hair, pushing the blood-stained strands away from your forehead. His touch was gentle and calming, you had never been touched by a doctor like this, you thought to yourself. 
“R-Rafe?” 
You croaked out, eyes pleading. 
“Hmm?”
He questioned with all his attention on you. His blue eyes raked over your form, studying your face, taking in the distress and the pain that laced it. 
“Gonna die?” 
You questioned, mumbling, incoherently and before he could even respond your eyes rolled into the back of your head, your back arching off the bed as you your body shook into a fit of convulsions. 
“She’s crashing!” 
One of the nurses yelled out.  
“We’ve got to get her to the OR now, get me a neuro consult and page Dr. Richardson, I have no doubt in my mind she’s hemorrhaging.” 
As soon as he muttered out the words, Rafe was straddling you on the gurney, legs on either side of your hips as his palms laid flat against your chest, fingers interlocking with each other as he violently, urgently pressed up and down in an attempt to restart your heart. 
“Not today, sweet girl. Not today.” 
He whispered, continuing chest compressions as the nurses and doctors wheeled the gurney the two of you were on into the operating room. 
masterlist:
as always, if you'd like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please shoot me an ask or comment on this post so i can keep track <3
@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt @akobx @allsmilesreally7
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dbnightingale24 · 1 year ago
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You Didn't Have To Say Yes...
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A Pete Brenner Love Story
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My first Patreon story!! I decided that Pete needs a love story, cause I feel like he gets shit on a lot. He's not a bad guy, he just has some...bad habits.
Thank you to everyone for your patience (once again), and I hope you all enjoy! As always, thank you to @fuckingbye for my amazing moldboard! I love it and I love you! I wrote this in a week (I don't know what's going on with my brain as of late), and I'm really excited for it!
Word Count: 49,380
Warnings: Pete Brenner, Smut, MINORS DNI 18+, Swearing, Daddy Kink, Drinking, Smoking, Drug Use, Angst, Self Hate, Semi-Public Sex (fingering), Open Marriage (Toxic Relationship), Abuse, Fluff, Family Drama, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Abortion ...I think that's it? I'm pretty sure I covered all the bases...yeah
Songs That Inspired This Chapter: If You're Feeling Down, I Just Wanna Make You Happier Baby
Summary: Pete Brenner is perfectly fine with everyone continuing he's a selfish piece of shit. That is, until you walked into his life, and turned everything upside down.
~~
I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
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~~
“C’mon, give me a smile,” Pete beams, his words tailing a slight slur as you make someone else’s Manhattan.
“I think it’s time for you to go, Mr. Brenner,” you giggle dismissively, flipping your hair and shaking up the cocktail mixer.
“I wonder how much sweeter my name would sound if you were underneath me,” he grins and lifts his eyes at you. You ignore the heat in the pit of your stomach, not wanting to surrender to his smarmy charm.
Pete Brenner doesn’t give up easily, you’ll give him that. 
“I’m sure your wife is happy that you’re always here, trying to bring me home instead of spending time with her,” you nod with a glance towards his left hand. A waitress comes over, picking up the next round of drinks.
“I’ve told ya, she has her fun and I have mine.”
“Cause that’s what every woman loves to hear. Woo me even more, Brenner,” you laugh, turning around and getting started on the next drink.
“Your ass looks amazing in those shorts.”
You laugh as you call over your shoulder, “I’m ordering you a cab.”
“I can take myself,” he mutters with an exasperated sigh. You know he’s pulling out his wallet, frustrated that you’re not leaving with him again.
“We go through the same motions every time, Pete. I don’t want you driving home drunk.”
“You refuse to sleep with me, but you care about my well being? I think you’re finally startin’ to warm up to me.”
“I don’t sleep with married men, Pete. Find a new dream to chase. You know the drill, the cab will be here in ten.”
Pete Brenner came stumbling into your life about a year and a half ago, and he’s been a character since day one. He was down on his luck, drinking until he could barely stand, refusing help from anyone, always ending with the same mantra every night:
“I’ve made this fucking far on my own, I can make it to my own fucking house!”
No matter how much you pushed, he wouldn’t accept help from you. He always refused service from everyone except you. At first he didn’t say anything, he just watched you and let his eyes roam over your body. He never said out loud that he wanted you, but he didn’t exactly go out of his way to hide it either. He was so obvious he never needed to say it explicitly. The glint of his gold wedding band always caught your attention under the sparkling lights of the nightclub, but seeing as he spent every night there until closing, you didn’t think it made much of a difference.
Until one night, eight months ago.
“There she is! My favorite girl!” he beamed, a cocky smile cemented on his lips.
The woman sauntering next to him didn’t seem to think too highly of the nickname he called you. 
“I’ll take a bourbon, and this sweet little thing next to me will have a Strawberry Daiquiri,” he told you, though his eyes never left your chest.
“Oh? Wedding anniversary?” you half smiled as you tried to put on your workplace happy face even though you mentally thought to yourself ‘he can’t be that sleazy to bring her to this dump on their wedding anniversary.’
“Got a new job, sweetheart,” he smirked. You didn’t miss the mischievous shine in his eyes in the club’s half light.
He was a bold mother fucker to bring his wife along just to flirt with you in plain view of her. Not many men had that much audacity when it came to you. 
“I’m Y/N,” you offered with a smile.
You genuinely pitied the woman.
“Tina,” she responded with a plastic smile.
Big boobs, micro-waist, big fake blonde hair, and Pete had ordered her a strawberry daiquiri. She fit the description of most “Tina’s” that came into the club. However, the large rock on her ring finger was nothing to scoff at.
“Oh, don’t pout, honey,” Pete taunted her. “This is what you wanted, right? Me to get a brand new important job and show you off? That’s what you’ve been bitchin about for months, isn’t it? So smile, would ya? You got ya wish.”
Someone was feeling prickly that night.
“First round of drinks are on the house. Congrats, Pete,” you smiled as you set both drinks down.
“Keep ‘em comin’, sweetheart,” he winked at you, handing you a hundred.
While it may have not been anything new to you (Pete always tipped generously), Tina’s eyes went wide and you didn’t miss the way her cheeks burned and blushed with anger.
You wanted to stay as far away from them as the night allowed.
You happily took shots with some of your regulars as the night went on and evened out. Your friends started showing up for their shifts, which helped your sour mood from earlier in the day (even though your ex-fiancee showed up outside of your apartment to harass you yet again). The more you drank, the more you started to dance along with the music; which meant Pete couldn’t keep his gaze off you.
“Why are you single?” Pete asked once his wife got up to go to the bathroom.
“You don’t strike me as the cruel type, Mr. Brenner,” you grinned as you made him another drink.
“Curiosity doesn’t equate to cruelty.”“You’re still here with your wife.”
“She’s in the bathroom.”
“Why’d you bring her tonight?”
“You heard me, this is what she wanted,” he cynically scoffed.
“They’re a lot nicer clubs than this one.”
“Can’t all be that nice if you don’t work there, sweetie.”
You both looked at each other for a moment before you heard, “Darlin’!” coming from the other end of the bar.
“Comin’ Charlie,” you laughed, breaking the stare with him, and shook your head. You used the bar to push yourself off away, down to it’s other end while Pete sipped the last of his remaining drink.
You didn’t need glasses to see that Pete Brenner was an attractive man, and he was important...well, he did his best to imply his importance (as if it would get him far with you). You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t thought about going a few rounds with him in the bedroom, but you didn’t sleep with married men. 
No matter how hard they tried, you had a set of both personal and professional rules that you abided by.
For the rest of the night, you stayed away from Pete and his wife unless they needed a refill. It was almost as if Tina was trying to make him regret his choice of celebration because she was throwing back her drinks like they were water. The night went smoothly enough, nevertheless, until you went outside for a smoke break.
“You should really quit those things,” came the voice of the last man you wanted to see or hear from.
“What do you want, Mark?”
“I come in peace, Sweet Thing,” he laughed, putting his hands up.
You’d always hated the nickname.
“Didn’t get enough arguing this morning? What else could you possibly have to say?” you questioned while you exhaled your frustration.
“You know you miss me, baby.”
“I miss the peace I had in my life before I met you.”
“You’re still working at this dump?”
“I have bills to pay.”
“You know I’d be more than happy to take care of you.”“Don’t want it. Nor do I want anything from you,” you snapped with a growl.
“Yet you drove yourself here in the car I bought for you,” he sneered, nodding in the direction of where the car was parked.
“Take the fucking car back then, Mark. If it means you’ll leave me the fuck alone, take back every single thing you ever gave me.”
Snickering, he made his way to you and grabbed your arm saying,“don’t be bitter when I know just how sweet you’re capable of being.”
With a scoff, you threw down your cigarette and bludgeoned it, “fuck this.”
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Enough with the goddamn attitude, Sweet Thing-”
“Let me go!”
“You’re coming with me-”
“Let her go!” you heard Pete yell as he quickly made his way over to you, leaving his wife to stumble to their car all alone.
She looked slack jawed from Pete to you, before her stare turned venomous and settled on you. It’s just what you needed on top of everything else; his prized Barbie play-toy thinking you were fucking her husband. 
Great.
~~
Read the rest of the story here
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websterss · 2 years ago
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don’t mind me dropping another blurb requests I just love them sm!!!😭😭
how about Ethan and reader going on their first date back after everything and core four being the chaotic babysitters that they are!!! (Plus a very shy messy Ethan not knowing what to do bc he doesn’t want to f!ck it up again)
Okay, here we go!!!!
-
"You know you didn't have to show Chad your pockets..." You chuckled as Ethan leads you through his apartment building. You were a bit skeptical about the blindfold, but you trusted he'd wasn't gonna do anything. After your anxiety wore off, you were having fun with the idea of him throwing a surprise for you. You felt special again. "He's such an ass." You groan, though Ethan shrugs, laughing it off. "H-How many more steps?" You stumble over your words, as you trip up the stairs.
"I really didn't think this through huh?" He blindfolded you for the three flights of stairs. Not so smart in the slightest bit.
"Nope." You tease, though your smile reassured.
"Okay, the last step, and we're on the third floor. Woo!" He cheers goofy.
"What's my surprise?" You grow impatient.
"Hold on, hold on." He walks you down the hall until you reach his door. You tilt your head hearing the jiggle of keys. Then the opening of the door. "O-Okay. You can take it off now..." Ethan's tone quiets down, anticipating, and waiting for your reaction. You reach behind you untying the one knot he made you. Your blink a couple times, trying to adjust to the light in the hallway. You stifle a laugh and then look up at him. Ethan reciprocates your laugh, and gestures to his apartment. Only then and there you finally looked into his apartment.
Your smile slowly turned to one of shock as you were greeted with candles lit around the place, and roses petal trails, starting from the doorway, leading to the very cute and pretty set up of blankets and glasses of wine. You bring your hands up to your mouth, as you step further into the place. Ethan watches your every move, not knowing how you were feeling made him nervous, but he watched. Watched as your shoulders relaxed and your fingertips feathered the candle jars he set around the house. He closed the door shut behind him, then he started taking out his wallet and keys, setting them on the little table he had for his entryway, something you suggested he'd have.
Your eyes looked to the continuous trail of flowers, another leading deeper into the apartment, presumably the bedroom, you look back to him, catching him chewing on his bottom lip. He had fiddled with his hands.
"D-Do you like it?"
"Love." You corrected. The soft crinkle of your eyes, made him relax. "I love it..." You laugh out in disbelief.
"Yeah?" He reflects that of a hopeful man.
"Yes...H-How did you do all this?" You gape at the pretty setup. The pillows and blankets tempted you, but you wanted to let it all sink in. He'd had done all this for you.
"I can't take all the credit. The girls helped, well they did all of it really." He breathes out a laugh. The thought made your heart swarm with warmth. "The flowers, all Samara." He chuckles. "If there's one thing she loves doing, it's throwing things, so we gave her the bags of petals." He gestures to the trail. The memory of her standing on her feet, bag loosely gripped in her little fists flooded his mind. Now that you inspected the trails closer, they were a little wonky, but they were, cause your baby girl made them. You smile fondly, imagining your little girl throwing petals wildly everywhere. It made you laugh again. "I-I wanted to do something nice for you." He tucks his hands behind his jeans pockets.
"It is." You walk up to him, and press your lips against his. He inhales as you deepen the kiss a little. He tugs your closer by the waist. He exhales when you pull back.
"I also wanted to cook for you." He pulls you to the blankets. He tugs you down on top of them. You sigh as your cushioned welcomely.
"You cooked?" Your beam at the idea.
"N-No." He grimaces in shame. "I almost set the place on fire, so I hope pizza makes up for it." He let go of your hands and reached for the box. When he opened it, you gasped again from surprise.
A heart-shaped meat lovers pizza stared back at you. You melt at the sight, then turn to Ethan who is staring at you with a cheesy smile, eyes squinted at the cheesiness of it all. It was anything but, honestly.
"2 many more dates w you." You read off the topping words with a heartwarming smile. You lean down and kiss him sweetly. You pull away only for him to chase your lips. He sets the box down and starts to lean over you. You rest back against the pillows and blankets. Your fist tugging on his henley to pull him over you. He pulls back breathlessly, but his eyes remained serious.
"I'm gonna keep making up for everything..."
"Ethan-" Your eyes soften.
"I put you all through hell...I'm gonna live with that guilt forever." He frowns. You knew how much he had been wanting to prove to the group that he had changed, it was still a work in progress, but the others still had moments in time. Jabs being thrown before they thought about the effect they’d have. It affected him.
"Let's not think about that tonight okay...It's just you and me, no one else." You reach up and press your palm against his cheek. He leans into your touch.
"J-Just you and me." He nods, repeating your words. He relaxes again and leans down to capture your lips with his again.
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anozilla · 8 months ago
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I'm posting here again. Woo! Here to annoy everyone with my latest brainrot. Old women. We have come full circle. (Sorry my old men I swear I still love you)
These are Mariana and Adrianne and they rotate in my head. Full honesty I never talk about them because my anxiety is really bad about sharing any kind of OC details that aren't happy or neutral. They don't have a "horribly abusive" relationship or w/e, but it starts out rough. Adrianne absolutely falls for Mariana (not something she's done in like 3 decades) and Mariana takes some time to really love her back. She realizes she does love her, when she isn't being a huge asshole (so, on rare occasions).
Ex pirate captain x Greedy CEO. Woo yeah baby
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annas-hair-donut · 1 year ago
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Self rec fic
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜
Thanks @annaofthenorthernlights for tagging me!
1. Pretty Please (Kristanna, E) This is my very favorite fic ever. Anna and Kristoff have this super intense relationship based on love and trust. And yeah, maybe Kristoff likes to wear lace panties and be told he's pretty. I wrote it for @99goosebumps for the 2023 BDSM exchange, but I know it's not for everyone. More than anything, though, I wrote it for me.
“Show me how bad you want it, Kristoff. Show me how bad you want me to spank you.” “You think I only want to sink my tongue into your $!@# so you’ll spank me?” His smile made her heart flutter as much as his words, but she tested him anyway. “Pretty men say pretty please.’” “You think I’m pretty?” he asked, each word punctuated by a sloppy, wet kiss on her thigh, "when I wear my lace panties?" When she didn't answer, he looked at her with lifted brows and puppy dog eyes. She cupped his cheeks and said, “You're not pretty, Kristoff; you're very pretty."
2. The Chaise (Gaston/Adam, E) It's seduction via flattery. This one sort of happened in a fever. The idea just kind of snowballed, and I'm still extremely tickled by the fic. Adam knows how vain Gaston is and that Gaston just can't keep his clothes on when someone wants to admire his muscles. I still go back and reread it and giggle out loud.
Adam debates buying a small chaise longue at his local antique shop until he finds out it comes with an extra large delivery man.
3. The Jakku Lantern (Kristanna, E) I wrote this as a birthday present to a friend that's deep into the Mando fandom. (And for Kristanna Halloween 2022). I wanted to combine our favorites. Kristoff's Mando helmet is stuck! Kristoff makes the most of this protection against his social anxiety to woo Anna in a way he wouldn't have been able to otherwise. It was so fun combining fandoms like this. Plus it's a Halloween fic, so it's extra fun.
It’s Kristoff, his Mandalorian helmet, and Olaf the Pumpkin King, against Raggedy Anna and Elsa AKA Maleficent, in a pumpkin carving contest judged by Sandy Claws Sven. Will Mando get a happy ending, despite the helmet that just won't budge, in this alternate version of the charades scene from Frozen II?
4. Boom, Clap! (Kristanna, E) I wrote this one for Frozen Smut Week 2023. It started out as just another S&M fic, but turned into the story of a war-injured vet who discovered the answer to his pain was more pain. And he didn't expect his heart to be mended in the process. It became something much more meaningful the more I learned about some of the things soldiers face at war and the things they face when they come back home.
Boom, clap! A sharp pain sears across Kristoff’s face from the force of Anna’s hand slapping him to the present. Stars twinkle just inside his field of vision as he rubs his cheek, and his heart beats faster in excitement. He hasn’t felt this good in years. Until an irate voice says, “What the fuck?” Anna stands in front of him, angrier than ever, and he smiles a little more. “You think that’s funny?” she asks. The correct answer is no, of course, but the right answer is that he’s elated. He looks down to hide the smile he couldn’t make go away. That’s when he sees his brace and remembers his injured leg. The only pain he feels, though, is on his cheek. “I had it handled,” she says and shows him the red rhinestone-encrusted mace attached to her keychain, which her thumb sits on top of. He grins, and says, more bravely than he would have had he not been floating on Cloud 9, “Or you could just slap me again.” Her red lips slowly curve into a cat-like smile. She folds her arms and coolly leans against the wall. Her eyes glitter with mischief, and she purrs, “Well, now you’ve got my attention.”
5. The Refugees (Kristanna, M) This is my baby. I've done some really hardcore world-building and created this really intense love story about soul mates who overcome immense obstacles to be together. I wrote this for the people who, unfortunately, knew after chapter 3 where this was going. Honestly, though, I last updated in April and I've been working up the courage to continue with it.
Kristoff, a refugee of the Northuldran genocide, and Anna, an Arendellian immigrant with a hole in her heart, fall in love and have a complicated and intense relationship.
I'm gonna tag: @99goosebumps @true--north @dei2dei @nonamemanga @jessi-skylark and anyone else who wants to show off their stuff!
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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 2 months ago
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Fics Not Rated (3) Masterlist
part one, part two
5 Times Luke Though He Got Away With Keeping A Secret From The Boys and the 1 Time He Realized They Knew The Whole Time (ao3) - ProducedbyMGC N/R, 10k
Summary: 5 times Luke thought he got away with keeping a pretty big secret from the boys and the 1 time he realized maybe he’s shit at keeping secrets.
A Movie I Wanna See (ao3) - secretlyryanross luke/ashton N/R, 4k
Summary: Luke works at his local movie theatre and is asked to stay over late to help Ashton clean theatres. No problem, right? Well, one problem. He has a huge crush on Ashton.
baby i can be your payback (ao3) - crankgameplays luke/ashton N/R, 32k
Summary: Ashtons rich. Lukes not. Ashton hates his parents. Luke doesnt. Ashton uses Luke to get back at his parents. He wasnt supposed to, like, get a crush on him or anything.
Bath Time (ao3) - RealHorrorshow215 ot4 N/R, 1k
Summary: Little Luke and Calum get into trouble in the kitchen, Daddy Ashton cleans them up
Cake by the Ocean (ao3) - moonbands luke/calum N/R, 2k
Summary: Luke and Calum get back from the beach and decide to have a shower to wash away the sand.
coffee shop soundtrack (ao3) - malumqt (bunwuji) michael/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 2k
Summary: “You do know there’s a sign outside saying that you’re gay and single, yeah?”
aka the one where michael is a shy cutie, calum is a chill dude, lashton is lashtoning, and also calum happens to save michael from dealing with a homophobic person.
do it better (ao3) - lourrygum OT4 N/R, 8k
Summary: takes place during the time michael lost his passport and was stuck in the US while his band performed in the UK. He feels upset about it and stops answering their calls and may or may not unfollow them on twitter, leading to questions and anxiety.
or, ¾ of 5sos go to the US to see michael and end up fucking him senseless.
Domestic Cuddles (ao3) - antisocialhood luke/ashton N/R, 10k
Summary: Luke’s cold and he wants Ashton to cuddle.
(or, Luke wants Ashton in more than one way, and what Luke wants, Luke gets)
do the things that you’d only read about (ao3) - heartbreakgirl michael/luke N/R, 5k
Summary: When he looks over, Michael’s eyes are open and he’s grinning from ear to ear.
“I love you.”
He smiles shyly, eyes rolling fondly. “I love you too, Michael.”
or, book worm Luke & bad boy Michael
I need you to stay (ao3) - CutesyMe michael/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 10k
Summary: Apparently his parents have found a ‘perfect’ boy for him now, and apparently they expected him to woo this boy, win his heart over and marry him. Whether he liked him or not. How was that possible? It was the fucking 21st century and he was living in a country where he had rights. How can his parents arrange a marriage for him? This wasn’t Pakistan or India. He couldn’t believe that was happening, especially right after he met that cute red haired guy, and had lost him instantly but that wasn’t the point.
i want to be loved by you (ao3) - lucasshem luke/ashton N/R, 4k
Summary: ashton always gets what he wants, and currently, he wants luke.
scars on my body (yeah i love the pain) (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton N/R, 4k
Summary: :+: Ashton comes home from work with stress in his veins, and he can remember Luke telling him that he could be of use during this time, so he does what any sex-deprived man would, fucks the living daylight of him. :+:
Shameless (ao3) - HeartnArrow luke/ashton N/R, 39k
Summary: Luke is captain of the hockey team, one of the most popular guys in school along with calum hood, came out as gay last year. ashton is a nerd who gets straight a’s and has yet to have his first kiss at the age of 17. michael is his best friend who isn’t really a nerd but has known ashton since preschool. ashton has always watched luke from afar, admiring him at the hockey games and in the hallways. he’s had a crush on him since freshman year but luke doesn’t even know his name.
or Luke was looking for a fuck buddy while Ashton was looking for love.
Sugar, We’re Going Down Swingin’ (ao3) - dontpanicmuke michael/luke N/R, 9k
Summary: Luke has just moved to a tiny town where everyone is living like it’s the 1950s. He makes the baseball team at his new school and meets Michael, the catcher who been out since his freshman year. Luke starts to develop feelings for him, but his fear of coming out force him to bury them. Luke has to deal with his newfound crush and the weight of the team as they look to him, the pitcher, to take them to state this year.
the 298 000 km fuse (ao3) - fermentedpotato michael/luke N/R, 157k
Summary: Normal lives aren’t like Hollywood films and some boys are massively interested in explosions.
the light in your eyes (ao3) - cashcakeplz michael/calum, michael/luke, luke/ashton N/R, 137k
Summary: Or the one where Calum is beautiful and beaten, Michael is in love with his best friend, Luke is lost, and Ashton just wants everyone to be happy.
The Perfect Getaway (ao3) - Hoodie michael/calum, luke/ashton, harry/louis NR, 26k
Summary: When Michael and Calum go on break after their tour. Something happens that will change their friendship for the better? or something much more? 
The stars shine in your eyes (ao3) - buddieshipper420 ot4 N/R, 2k
Summary: Calum finds Ashton floating dangerously close towards subspace, and they all take care of their sub.
That's it, that's the fic.
The Twinkling Trinket (ao3) - fourdrunksluts luke/calum, michael/ashton N/R, 12k
Summary: Calum’s a mischievous shapeshifter, who steals from Luke’s boutique to earn his attention.
We Couldn’t Freeze This Moment (ao3) - antisocialhood luke/ashton N/R, 3k
Summary: Ashton’s relationship with Luke was a simplistic amount of domestic fluff and vanilla sex.
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mermaidinthecity · 2 years ago
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I never yell, but she can scream. She loves to give me anxiety. She talks too much, she never quits. Making me make my bad decisions while I'm innocent, Yeah. I get lost in the background. She the star of the show. Gotta deal with her problems. When she lose control, I know I can't tame her. I don't even try. So let me apologize. That's my evil twin. No, it ain't my fault. That's my evil twin. It wasn't me at all. Don't be mad at me. I can't help that she's a wild one, baby, wild one, baby. That's my evil twin. Woo, hey. That's my evil twin. Hey. That's my evil twin. That's my evil twin.
Evil Twin by Meghan Trainor
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j-1z · 3 years ago
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xdinary heroes as lovers: jun han
disclaimer: all of my readings are for entertainment purposes only and should be taken with a grain of salt, as these idols are strangers.
this reading was done on june 8th, 2022. i used the ‘mystereum tarot’ deck. i also pulled up his birth chart for a bit more guidance.
dance - jay safari the night is only young for fun romance
spy? - WHOKILLEDXIX yeah, you like me, baby, yeah, I get it
*yucky blucky fruitcake - doechii i'm looking at my pillow / my pillow look back at me / my thumb is over the screen / the other is in my jeans // got so much shit on my chest, yo, i need to drop it
how he is as a partner, what he can give three of pentacles. eight of cups REV, king of cups, eight of wands, queen of wands, fool
Junhan is so cute and sweet - incredibly inexperienced in the world of romance, but he’s very eager to learn - a bit childlike in his passion and enthusiasm, I almost want to say “in love with love”. Has a good balance between his head and heart, does well with partners who need someone to help settle their head. The type to ask his older, more experienced friends for advice on how to woo someone. Ideally, he sees a partner as someone who is equal to him, someone who he works together with to create equal happiness. Very intuitive, can kind of just, feel what his partner is feeling, will gently push his lover to share any of their worries and gladly helps them work through them. Although inexperienced, he’s very wise and thinks of relationships as a common sense situation - treating them how he would want to be treated? Very calm, compassionate, needs to be careful with becoming his partner’s therapist. He really likes PDA, but probably wouldn’t admit it, simply loves the idea of being affectionate with someone. Junhan is also a bit oblivious to when someone likes him. Also getting surprisingly flirty vibes from him like, I don’t think he’s afraid to be bold at all with someone.
Very non-confrontational and can stay in relationships that are bad for him just because he doesn’t know how to pull away, or because he likes the idea of having someone. Can have a hard time differentiating between his partner’s feelings and his own. Can also be overkill with therapizing his partners, some can feel like he’s prying, but it’s just his energy. Has a tendency to idealize his partners as well, which can also lead to him to stay longer than is necessary.
his ideal type, what he wants from them knight of cups. six of wands, seven of wands, page of wands, ten of cups, three of swords, four of swords
Junhan’s ideal is someone a bit more extroverted than he is, class clown vibes. Another one who likes artsy, romantic types, someone who is soft, but also not afraid to get what they want. Rebellious, charming, self aware and introspective, his ideal is someone who is more led by their heart. Also, very pretty to Junhan, he likes being seen with them. Wants a partner that’s loud about their love for him, that will show him off. He gives off vibes of being bashful when it comes to PDA, but he actually really likes it - likes to lowkey be like, “hey, I have a partner, look!” He wants someone who will push him to do better, might be into other guitarists/musicians, some friendly competition. Tends to be drawn to people who have a lot of sadness and anxiety underneath everything and partners with those qualities tend to be drawn to him, likes to heal in a way. Aquarius and water sign vibes.
his attitude around love currently moon
A little confused and feeling left in the dark - what he’s been taught about love in the past is being shaken up as he continues to get older. That “in love with love” feeling is being challenged and he needs to possibly admit something to himself.
wild card death, page of swords
Relating to the above, going through some kind of awakening in regards to romance currently. This isn’t a dark feeling, he’s very curious about where things are going to go and he’s welcoming it with open arms, even though it's a bit scary and unfamiliar. He’s figuring out what he actually wants, experimenting. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s talked to some of his more experienced friends about his current feelings. Junhan’s energy is overall very open, nonchalant and forgiving and it seems to extend to himself as well. The lyrics to Yucky Blucky Fruitcake really stuck out to me as I was doing this reading for him.
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alexanderossis · 2 years ago
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Geolex + “you’re cute when you’re jealous.”
Read on Ao3 or below the cut!
They get to Vegas and George is buzzing. It’s a mixture of the energy of this city, the way that everyone on the strip is excited to see them, and having his two favourite people in the world right there with him.
Lewis is in good spirits, which is great for George because when Lewis is on, he’s a force to be reckoned with and he pays attention to George and tells him how good he’s doing and George would get on his knees for this man any day.
Metaphorically of course because there’s also Alex. George really wants to please Lewis, wants to hear that he’s doing a good job, wants to win for him. But with Alex, none of that matters.
Alex loves him because he’s George, not because he’s George Russell, F3 champion, F2 champion, and Mercedes driver. George doesn’t love Alex because he’s Alexander Albon, Williams Driver.
George thinks that he or Alex could quit F1 one day and never go back and it wouldn’t change anything between them. And he’s so fucking grateful for that.
They get to Vegas and Alex is not buzzing. He’s excited to be in Vegas but the whole thing feels a little much. The people, the press— he complains about doing media but really it just fills him with a horrible wave of anxiety where he can’t breathe. The whole thing feels a little overrated to him.
It doesn’t help that Lewis is here. He’s gotten over what happened in 2020, forgiven Lewis for the collisions that stole his first career wins from under his nose. But he’s still not really sure how Lewis feels about him and every interaction is so awkward and yeah, Alex’s social anxiety finds Lewis absolutely terrifying.
It also doesn’t help that George loves Lewis. Not in the way that he loves Alex. He loves Alex like breathing. He loves Alex like a cup of coffee in the morning in bed. He loves Lewis like the devoted teammate that he is, eager to learn and live and grow under Lewis’ shadow.
And Alex really is happy that George has a good teammate. He knows what it’s like to be the second driver and feel absolutely shitty showing up to the track each weekend. He’s glad George doesn’t have to experience it, but also would like to be here with just George.
They all get to do some press together, which is good, the solid press of George’s body against Alex’s side doing wonders to calm his panic. But Alex also knows that he’s really not the people everyone is here to see, so he gets to stand off to the side and watch Lewis and George woo the crowd.
They take like a bazillion photos of George and Lewis together and Alex isn’t jealous. He’s not jealous because he doesn’t want to be up there, he’s content being out of the spotlight. But he doesn’t miss the way George looks at Lewis, like he hangs the sun,  like he’s Adonis personified.
He’s not blind, Alex knows that the fans think George and Lewis are dating. He knows why they think that. If he and George hadn’t been together before he went to Mercedes, Alex probably would have thought the same thing.
Strong arms wrap around Alex’s middle. He’s standing behind the stage, watching Lewis, Checo, and George entertain. Okay, maybe not watching, maybe just trying to stay calm and get away from the insane atmosphere. He leans back against George, nestling into his boyfriend’s neck.
“Hi baby,” George presses his lips against the top of Alex’s head, “You okay?”
“Fine,” Alex mumbles.
He turns around into George’s embrace, shoving his hands up and under George’s insane amount of layers. George is wearing a winter coat even though it’s baking hot in Vegas.
“It gets cold in the desert at night”, George had argued before they’d left the hotel.
“You’ve never been to the desert, George!”
“Yeah, that’s why I have to have a coat.”
Alex doesn’t know if he’s just wearing it out of spite, but the skin beneath his clothing is cool and soft and it grounds Alex in a way that he hasn’t felt all weekend.
“Better?” George murmurs.
“A bit,” Alex concedes.
“Do you want me to take you back to the hotel?” George asks, tilting Alex’s head up to meet his eyes.
“No, that’s stupid.” Alex shakes his head, watching as Lewis walks toward the pair of them.
“It’s not, if you want to go back.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not-”
“Hi,” Lewis interrupts and George takes a step back from Alex (ouch) and turns to face Lewis.
“Hi, Lew!” George beams at him.
Lewis gives Alex one of his beautiful smiles and then turns to talk to George about something that Toto had called about earlier.
Alex crosses his arms, looking around for somewhere else to be, but he can’t find anyone else he knows and the towering, unfamiliar city makes him uneasy.
“Right, Alex?” Alex’s head snaps back around to the conversation where Lewis is looking at him expectedly.
And right there, Alex gets it. The feeling of all of Lewis’ attention turned towards him, the soft, kind eyes meeting his.
“Oh, uh- right.” Alex agrees, blushing slightly.
“Told you, Georgie,” Lewis beams, wrapping an arm around George and giving him a blinding smile.
Alex’s skin prickles at that and he reaches for his phone to give himself something to do other than watch his boyfriend and his teammate do whatever this is. George wraps his arm around Lewis’ shoulder, mimicking the older man’s movement, and the F1 media pounce, snapping picture after picture.
Alex’s face must show some discomfort because George untangles himself from the commotion and makes a beeline for Alex’s side.
“Come on,” He pulls Alex into his side and starts to head towards the strip. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Whatever,” Alex grumbles, pouting slightly.
“Alex,” George stops walking, putting his hands on Alex’s shoulders to stop him as well.
“George,” Alex stares at him, challenging whatever George is about to say.
“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” George pecks him on the cheek.
“Asshole,” Alex flicks him in the head and George pulls away, mock wounded.
They keep walking towards the hotel, hands not quite touching, comfortable silence sweeping over them.
“I’m sorry we haven’t been able to spend much time together,” George sighs.
“It’s okay,” Alex squeezes George’s pinky reassuringly.
“I wish it was me and you on the stage.”
“No, you don’t.” Alex shakes his head.
“I do!” George insists. Alex can’t see his eyes behind the sunglasses George is wearing but he knows he’s sincere. George is always sincere. It drives Alex nuts sometimes.
“I would probably spontaneously combust if I was on that stage,” Alex admits.
“True,” George laughs. “Fine, then I want you on that stage with me metaphorically.”
“Me too,” Alex agrees, giving him a soft smile. “But after tonight, it’s just me and you for a few days before Brazil.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” George pulls him to the side and kisses him soundly.
He leaves Alex at the doors to the hotel and Alex watches him go with pride swelling in his chest. George is his. And neither of them would have it any other way.
Another randomized prompt list pick because I really am feeling geolex lately. Hope you enjoyed!
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absolutebl · 4 years ago
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10 Best Kisses in Thai BL 
Type kissing Tharn after playing with his hair in TharnType - Type’s emotional agency and affection finally come out in this kiss from probably the kissiest couple in all BL 
Dean kissing Pharm for the first time in Until We Meet Again - it’s a goddam icon with that red thread and the way Pharm’s arms sneak around Dean’s neck 
Fighter kissing Tutor on the rooftop after the countdown in Why R U? - the symbolism of Fighter being blinded to his own sexual identity and then admitting it to Tutor outright after the kiss, gah 
King kissing Ram in a drunken rage at the end of My Engineer - flipping heck, such a good kiss, then the way Ram takes it over and turns it back on him, you know Ram is going to be an intense lover, it’s his only way of communicating 
Win & Tops kissing each other after their hug in Ingredients the series - the only mutual on this list, neither initiates, it just happens and it’s so cute + the way each character reacts is so pitch perfect 
Forth kissing Beam in the hospital bed in 2 Moons 2 - Forth’s aggression is so well done in 2m2, and it suits friends-to-lovers so much better than other romance tropes because Beam knows exactly what kind of person Forth is and this kiss is him finally accepting that  
Tul kissing Hin after 20 odd years of wanting to in Love By Chance 2 - they have so little screen time and such killer chemistry, I wonder sometimes if they were left to the wayside because TinCan comes off as utterly flat by comparison 
Mark kissing Kit’s neck after he was injured in Gen Y - I know it’s not a lip kiss but neck kisses are a personal favorite and SO RARE in BL that I’m sticking it in, I do love their aggressive kinky bitting kisses, but this is the first really tender one 
Pete grabbing and dragging Kao back to kiss in Dark Blue Kiss - my favorite thing about PeteKao is that Tay and New manage to portray a legitimate LTR and this kiss is a perfect example of that 
The final kiss between Sarawat & Tine in Still 2gether - we all waited a really really long time and it was perfectly done, also seeing Tine with sexual agency was, frankly, a relief 
For me the kiss needs to have emotion underpinning it, as well as a chemical draw, and a physical appeal. I need to sense that these two characters genuinely like each other in all three ways. 
I ran into an interesting video once about actors kissing and what makes for a good screen kiss. There’s chemistry, of course, but there is also something in the way the two have to breathe with (and kind of into) each other. Like a synchronized dance. When I harp on about actors and physicality this is part of that.
So I based my picks are based on seeing 
emotional + physical + chemical
all represented on screen together. 
As such, you will notice some vacancies.
Honorable mention to: 
Kong & Arthit’s first kiss in SOTUS for Kong’s little smile. Krist & Singto have good emotional and chemical connection but I never got any physical chemistry from them. I still love SOTUS because I just pretend they’re ace, but it does impact their kisses. 
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Ae & Pete’s first kiss in the car in Love By Chance because of the raw awkwardness and the sweet conversation that surrounds it. I love these two best in all BL, but while Saint gives us all three, I rarely get physical from Perth. While this works under context of the narrative, it’s a reason none of their kisses made my top 10. 
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Missing Babies
Phun & Noh in Love Sick are one of my all time favorite pairs, but aside from one off-cut kiss (when Noh grabs Phun in the hotel room) they mostly don’t and when they do it’s not good. Same with Fuse & Tea in Make it Right. I suspect this is mostly to do with the fact that the actors were minors at the time.
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You all know I LOVE Oxygen, but I don’t think Slo & Gui ever gave the necessary physicality, much as I adore their emotional resonance. Similarly, while I LOVE Can kissing Tin in front of everyone on the football field, the two actors have no chemistry. Sorry, that’s just how i feel. 
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It does deserve to be mentioned though, because it is the only public ownership kiss we have in BL. (It’s an EXTREMELY common trope in western het romances of course - it comes from “kiss the bride” ownership.) 
Top 3 Not Thai BL Kisses 
1. Hsia Yu Hao & Qiu Zi Xuan and their amazing net kiss in HIStory 2: Crossing the Line. Just, so stylish. I limited myself to Thai BL only, because otherwise I would have had to include this kiss and bump someone else out of top 10, and I just couldn’t stand the idea. But yeah, these two demonstrate a perfect execution of emotional + chemical + physical in short form drama, and they have to be acknowledged for that achievement. 
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2. We Best Love’s Shi Yi kissing Shi De for the first time. I don’t have a good screen cap of Shu Yi’s confession kiss but it’s so good, it hits all three elements but manages to also have pining, frustration, realization, hope, fear, and competition elements. They are both crying and they lean into each other in a way that’s both gentle, loving, and desperate. 
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3. The final kiss in To My Star between Seo Joon and Ji Woo is the the only Korea-made BL to make this list (no big surprises there). Korea and Japan are notorious for the “dead fish peck kiss” which is almost a “why bother at all?” situation (to be fair it’s not just BL but all romances). What TMS did was play on that expectation. It gave us several of these sad little kisses, and then twisted it so we could see that they were all the result of Ji Woo’s walls, and that after those walls crumble he is soft and sweet and all the attraction is mutual. It did that by giving us a truly beautiful last kiss that used emotional + physical + chemical combined with teasing affection (a bit like Sarawat & Tine’s final kiss in Still 2gether). TMS is one of those BLS that REALLY benefits from rewatching, and the kissing is only one aspect of that. 
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Okay, that’s it. Who’d I forget? 
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(I should note that H3: Trapped, Manner of Death, Long Time No See are not on the list because I don’t consider them BL.) 
New entrants: 
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Second Chance kiss between Fah and Paper in ep 3 is just so full of tea angst and anxiety. It’s a pitch perfect YA style first kiss. 
Self doing a deep dive in what makes for a good kiss in BL from a watcher’s perspective. Too much details? Is there ever? 
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shadyteacup · 4 years ago
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Ranpo x gn! Reader
Fluff
Requested by ⚔anon! :D
I Don't Need a Love Letter
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"Y/N san.. how are you?"
Ranpo greeted you as you walked in the ADA'S office.
"Good morning Ranpo san! I'm good, what about you?"
You walked over to your cabin, smiling at the detective, and placing your bags on the chair.
"I'm amazing, as always!"
Ranpo replied. He was a smart man, he knew that you liked him. He also knew that he liked you. But he had no idea of how to proceed with this information. He had to act on it. But how? You didn't know that he liked you back, which is why you never took the first steps. This left the task on his shoulders. He tried making small talk with you everyday, trying to find a reason to talk to you. But you never noticed any ulterior motives behind his chats.
"Y/N chan! I didn't see you come in!"
Dazai said, walking towards you.
You smiled at him, waving.
"Hey, Dazai. Is it just me, or did you actually come on time today?!"
He laughed at your jab, and continued chatting with you. He was capable of bringing a smile to your face, and he did it it so effortlessly. Ranpo was jealous of his skills. He could make you laugh too, but the fact that someone else could do it, irked him.
He cleared his throat after a while, trying to gain your attention.
"Dazai, Y/N, can you both keep it down? You're bothering the others."
You frowned.
"Oh, are we? I'm so sorry!"
Dazai saw right through Ranpo's little attempt to get you both away from each other.
'Good,' he thought,' the plan's working out well.'
He snaked an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards the door.
"Where are we going?"
You asked him.
"Outside! That way, we can catch up all we want, without disturbing anyone!"
"We literally met a few hours ago."
"But we still have so much to share, don't we?"
Dazai paused for a second to glance back at Ranpo, and gave him a devilish smirk.
Ranpo glared daggers at him. He was furious.
'Oh, he didn't just do that'
Ranpo thought.
He was fuming. So it was a competition afterall. Dazai wants to take you away from Ranpo! No way in hell is he going to allow that!
Ranpo could hear the sound of your giggles and laughter from the corridor. He decided it was enough. He had had enough of beating around the bush. He had to confess before you fell out of love.
...
You finally came home after a tiring day at work. It had been quite a day. You solved two cases today. It was exhausting, but thanks to your assigned partner for the day, sweet little atsushi, it wasn't boring. You enjoyed spending your time with the little darling.
The paperwork was hell. To top it off, the news that Dazai had given you was making you nervous.
You decided to take a shower, dropping your bags on the counter and heading towards your room, when the doorbell rang.
You jogged up to the door, peeking through the eye hole.
A familiar ravennet was standing outside, dressed in casual attire.
You opened the door, a surprised look on your face.
"Ranpo san?"
He smiled nervously, observing your face for any clues about your mood. He could spot surprise and anxiety, but nothing that screamed 'get out'.
"Hi, Y/N. Can I come in?"
Was it just you, or did he address you using your first name and absolutely no honorific?
"Oh, yeah, sure."
He entered the lounge, and with your permission sat on the couch. You sat opposite to him.
He reached inside his jacket, pulling out an envelope from his pocket. Handing it to you, he scratched his head .
"I have prepared this for you. I don't know how to write and express... feelings... so I asked my friend, Poe, to compose this letter. I told him exactly what I felt, and wanted to say to you, and so he formatted it and wrote it down for me."
You accepted the letter, and were about to open it, when he stopped you.
"Can you open it when I'm not around? It'll only make me more nervous. "
"What is it about?"
"It's all in there."
He turned, heading to the door.
"Edogawa san, wait."
His eyes widened at the use of his first name, and he halted at the door, turning to look back at you with a blush on his face.
"I like you too."
He didn't have time to react when you strode over to him and hugged him.
He hugged you back a second later.
"How did you.. It was Dazai, wasn't it. I knew he wasn't trying to woo you. I had a feeling he was only trying to fuel my anger..."
You grinned at him.
"Yeah. He told me today that you liked me, and that you might give me a letter."
Ranpo shook his head in disbelief.
"No wonder you seemed nervous!"
You giggled, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"So... is it Edogawa san now? Or do you want me to call you Ranpo?"
"I prefer 'baby', but Edogawa should do for the time being!"
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kisslettrs · 4 years ago
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haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o
featuring: lev, kuroo, suna
a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔
warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞
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→ HAIBIA LEV
you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.
lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.
“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him
“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.
“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”
you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.
“lev haiba!”
he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.
“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”
before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.
fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.
[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]
you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.
as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.
you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.
schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.
“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”
he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.
“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”
you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.
“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.
“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”
and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.
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→ KUROO TETSURO
you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’
however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.
kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.
yeah it didn’t go well uhh
“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”
“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”
you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”
“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”
“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”
it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.
you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”
as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.
next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”
you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?
the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.
you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.
some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.
you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.
[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]
[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]
choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.
you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.
Kyanma: ???
Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?
you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj
Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️
you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]
sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.
well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.
“hey y/n.”
“hi kuroo.”
you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”
kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”
“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”
you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.
“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”
“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.
as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.
before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”
fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”
his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”
he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”
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→ SUNA RINTARO
while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.
but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?
suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.
one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand
“what?” he asked.
you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”
you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”
“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”
“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.
this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...
“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”
well damn. his words hurt. a lot.
“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”
you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.
as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?
maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.
you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’
kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”
home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...
you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.
you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”
“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.
“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.
suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.
“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.
“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.
“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”
“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.
wow, this was even more rare.
you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.
suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.
as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”
you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.
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condomglitter · 2 years ago
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Where'd you disappear to?
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hell.
But no, seriously, lmfao. I don't think we have the time, word-count, or space to go over all of it -- so maybe, like, key points? Below the read-more?
TL;DR, though, my life collapsed and I followed it. I'm back, though. Woo.
TRIGGER WARNING: stalking, assault, mental illness, divorce, eating disorder, abortion, sexual assault, abuse, uhhh... trauma.
in no specific order, but like... vaguely chronological, I guess
Got medicated for anxiety & depression
Left my abusive husband.
Moved in with friends
Phone got hacked. Pictures were taken. Pictures were uploaded online. Strangers have indeed seen my butthole. Lots.
Got some stalkers bc of said pictures. Discovered the hacker put a tracking virus in my phone! Started getting people taking pictures of me while I was minding my fucking business in public & posting them on a super fun forum where they TRACKED ME AROUND THE CITY.
Cops didn't help bc ACAB & of course they fucking wouldn't. Sorry. "Can't". Useless.
Got an abortion bc I'd rather die than have my abuser's baby lmao
Started trying to officially divorce previously mentioned abusive husband. Dealing with a lawyer & everything that comes with it as he does his very best to be the biggest asshole on the planet about it.
Relapsed in & out of my ED over the course of the past two/three years. Doing much better now thanks to a strong support network though <3
Lost my jobs bc of pandemic closures. Got more jobs. Quit them bc I no longer tolerate being treated like replaceable garbage. Got fired from one, definitely not for requesting accommodations they swear.
Apartment flooded. Damage is, two years later, still not fixed. I am, as you can imagine, jazzed about this every day (sarcastic)
Got MORE medicated for anxiety & depression
Developed mysterious and chronic pains! Doctors still don't know what's wrong.
Stopped doing much drawing or writing bc I couldn't figure out how to do any of it without suffering lasting consequences due to said pains afterward.
Got professionally diagnosed with an alphabet's worth of disorders
Had several mental breakdowns, clawing rifts in my personal relationships & friendships that I may never repair as a result!
Ended up with 7 cats, somehow.
Also got two bunnies. Ill advised. Regrets are minimal.
Got even more meds for even more problems lmao I feel like the lady in grandma's boy having pills & syrup for breakfast
Got a really good job with our city that I love
Started playing D&D to scratch the rp itch
Crumbled & returned to tungle dot hell to see if I can scrape two years of dust off this shit & get back to business (chaos)
And that??? might be it?? I am so certain I'm missing things, not to mention I intentionally left out some more private details (IMAGINE WHAT THEY ARE IF THIS IS THE PUBLIC LIST. LMAO) but, yeah, that's the gist of it!
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