#wonderspaces

[wehavehadtoday]

[srslyd]

RULES is a collaborative installation created by visitors over time based on three simple rules. The aim is to explore how new connections are created between people who share a physical space and that might not have otherwise had a pretext to start a conversation.

Paola Ibarra Llano is a Mexican artist and educator based in Mexico City. She develops participatory art projects, where she collaborates with communities to reflect on social issues, strengthen personal or group identity, practice teamwork skills and enhance the public spaces where she works.

[mywalkabout40]

Back to Wonderspaces for 2023

Having returned home after three weeks abroad, I was looking forward to a nice, quiet weekend at my favorite interactive art installation. Wonderspaces. New exhibits were to be seen and experienced, with my favorite probably being the pyschedelic Grand Canyon tunnel. I was inspired to come back home afterwards and try my hand at creating something new myself, mixing my love of paint pouring…

[briaberri]

Rosehall 3: shade haven

no doubt in my mind that the mystery, refuge, and tranquility of Rosehall is enhanced by the sections of shade where it's wild heart shines. a beautiful thing about variegated plants... that dazzling contrast is brightest in soft light. perhaps like dawn and dusky lovers.

[browneyedchickey]

[valyalyon]

July 2022

STRAP IN!! So much happens here. The visit with Raphael that leads to Dolores deciding to break off a relationship with Julius and her decision to leave Phoenix entirely... leading to her meeting... drumroll!!! Harvey :) Theo's dad. Bit of a full circle moment to see fr fr but ENJOY :)

DIE MASTER LIST OR #LYONDIE

July 22, 2022.

That night, Julius and I went over to Raphael’s family home for a game night. I hadn’t seen him since June, and I definitely was glad for it...

CW: Mentions of dub con (no descriptions or actions). Predator/prey imagery. Descriptions of explicit sexual behavior. Explicit language. Break-up. Heartbreak. MDNI. Proceed with caution :)

My time with Julius had gotten even better, and the two of us were on yet another high.

I did not know it at the time, but by the end of that week, Julius had an appointment to visit a jewelry shop to pick out my engagement ring.

He never did end up going, because that night, and the next few days, would change our lives indefinitely.

After our third game, Julius excused himself to go to the bathroom. The game room was separated in the basement of the house, with the nearest bathroom being on the first floor.

I’m laying on the floor, we’re drinking ‘cause we’re bored.

I was laying on the floor, we had been drinking since we got there 45 minutes earlier. We were going to stay there a long while still. I was pretty far from Raphael’s view, and I was facing him, so I didn’t think anything would get out of hand.

Besides that, I wouldn’t cheat on Julius.

Raphael looked through his cards, and then looked over at the basement stairs. His eyes were focused and it seemed like he was listening.

I was half paying attention to him because I was scared of him, and the other half of me really wanted to disconnect, so that half wasn’t processing him as being there at all.

Safe to say, there’s a blur somewhere before he says, “I loved seeing and feeling you at Wonderspaces.”

“Raphael, respectfully, can we move on from that? I thought you were Julius. I would not have allowed you to touch me had I known it was you!” My voice was hushed, but I was so angry that I was starting to feel my skin heat up.

He did this to me every time he was around. It was as if there were two fire signs butting heads and falling in love through it, and sure enough that was the issue.

“That’s fine and all, Lola. You were made for me. We need each other,” Raphael said, and then I heard him get off the couch.

I moved to adjust myself. He came up next to me, at a time where my head was at his crotch, and looked down at me, he had a crooked, mean smile. It was taunting me and it scared me.

I felt like a bunny hunted down by the fox.

I scooted onto my bum and scooted myself backwards towards the couch away from him so I could stand up.

Once I stood, I realized he was close to me. If he just reached his hand out, he’d be touching me. I put my hands up defensively, “don’t come near me, I will scream.”

“I’m never going to do anything you don’t want, Lola,” he said.

“You did though! In June… What the hell was that, Raphael? And why would you do that? Or even this… Stop looking at me like that,” I complained, wanting to cover my eyes from his.

His dark eyes had a grip on me, I felt trapped in his eyes and I was not happy about it.

I managed for a second to peel my eyes off him and take a step away, getting out from the corner he had put me in. All he did was turn to face me, “You’re telling me you didn’t enjoy me touching you?”

I didn’t dare meet his eyes at this point, I was beginning to feel sick, “No. Julius and I have been together 47 months, we’re very happy, and what you did last month was extremely out of line.”

“I’ll apologize then,” he spoke, and then got closer to me, “Look at me.”

“No,” I responded flatly.

“I’m sorry, Lola. For what I did last month. When I saw you there by yourself, I don’t know what I thought… You’ve just always been on my mind since I met you,” He reached his hand out, but stopped right before he touched my face.

Oh, I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places, and we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces.

I turned my eyes to his hand, and felt the world swirling around me. I was stoned and I wanted to keep my distance from him. The fire I felt in my stomach for him made me hate myself.

I don’t think I realized I was holding my breath, until he spoke again, “I feel like I’ve known you way before I met you. When I looked at you, I swore I’d seen you before.”

“We haven’t met before, Raphael,” I wanted to cut the conversation entirely. I wanted to just storm away from him. I was so frustrated with him. It seemed like he was out to destroy Julius, it always seemed that way.

“Maybe not,” he sighed. I felt the silence creeping in around us, and then he said, “Must have just been a dream.”

I turned to look at him. Those words. I didn’t know right away why, but the way he said those words triggered something in my brain. As I looked into his dark eyes, I remembered a dream that had not come back to me in years.

The details were foggy, but in the dream there was a man I could barely distinguish at first, could only make out that he was tall. His eyes peak out of the darkness, but they’re just as dark and scary. He pulls me in to his arms and the world is on fire, as it all spins around us he speaks, “Must have just been a dream.”

Having heard Raphael say those words in front of me, it dawned on me that I had actually been dreaming of him. It wasn’t any other “R” named men as I had started to gaslight myself into believing. It was him, and he was in front of me.

My whole life flashed before my eyes up until that point. What was everything that I had lived with Julius supposed to be? What was I supposed to do now? Could I still be with Julius, knowing I had spent my entire life dreaming of him and Raphael?

Up until then, I had fantasized about a wedding to Julius, a life with him. I wanted so much, I wanted to be there by his side. Even in that moment, I didn’t want to lose that. Yet, I found myself wondering if I would ever know what to do or where to go.

I didn’t want Raphael, I had committed so much time to my love with Julius, but I realized in that moment that I was not meant to be J’s wife. I didn’t deserve him if I was feeling this confused after so long and he didn’t deserve to have anyone that couldn’t give him her full love and attention.

“Raphael, I don’t think I can give you or Julius what you want from me,” I told him, and then we heard Julius coming back in.

July 23, 2022.

We got home in the early hours of the next morning, and I immediately tried to go to sleep. Julius was kissing my neck and touching my skin as we laid, I could tell that he wanted to have sex and I wanted to have sex with him too. Even after everything that had happened between Raphael and I, I just couldn’t shake my desires for Julius.

He got on top of me, kissing me now on the lips. I didn’t fight him, I never could, I kissed him back happily. It was so fucked up of me, but I wanted to forget everything so badly. I wanted to wake up in the morning and all of the Game Night would have just been a stupid nightmare.

The only resounding thought in my mind was, “why can’t I start over? We’ll be happier, then…”

His arms were on either side of my head as we made out desperately, our tongues dancing and our clothes beginning to come off in a steamy hurry. I felt his fingers begin to enter me, I gasped and moaned, melted into his finger tips and greedy hands.

He was so good to me, maybe we could forget it all…

I’ve come for you, my love, through a window in the dark. Don’t you know you’re my everything?

Soon, I felt his bulging cock against me. Why was I so wild for him? Was it just because he was wild for me? My moans escalated, my body trembled. I moved my hips excitedly, and slowly settled my pussy down onto his dick.

Immediately, he could go no further, much too big to enter me. Too lazy to get the lube, he just spits, and I think I love it even more. The way he rubs it into my clit and then moves it down into my pussy with a finger, before leading his cock in so perfectly.

He knew exactly what I needed. No doubt about it. He fucked me so good that night, full of plenty of slaps, spanks, and harsh choking.

But, I think I knew when I looked at Raphael last night, that everything would have to end. The real question was who the hell am I? I’ve lived my life, my entire life — for other people… what am I doing?

I had a specific dream of my life. I wanted to run away, fall in love, get married, get pregnant, dissolve my personality into the role of motherhood and in loving servitude, I’d bend to my man. I wondered, seriously, if staying in Phoenix was really the best option for me.

I hated living here since I moved here. I love being in the desert, I love the state of Arizona, I love the palm trees, the lights, the mountains, the Grand Canyon, every part of it. But, the city of Phoenix has done nothing but hurt me.

Meeting Julius changed my perspective on the city, if only for a moment. But, as each year passed in front of my eyes, I found myself still stuck in this city, feeling the same cursed feeling I’ve always felt. Still, my love was blossoming.

Everything between us was so beautiful and natural, and we only got stronger with each argument. I believed I could count on Julius and I trusted him with my heart and my life. It was all perfect, but the longer I stayed in Phoenix the more that dreadful feeling crept over me.

Julius grew up there, so wouldn’t be ready to leave Phoenix, not now, and maybe not ever. Those were discussions we’d had through the years, plans and ideas would spring up but the dreams would always be dashed by his analytical reasoning.

When he dreamt, it was so far away.

Sex ended with him cumming down my throat, and I swallowed the hot semen happily.

By around 10 in the morning, the argument started and it lasted long into the next day. I couldn’t explain to him why, but I approached him with the feeling that our relationship couldn’t continue. At first, it started as “I’m not sure, but I’d like to see where you are…”

It dissolved rather quickly into a lot of back and forth. It was never hostile, but the two of us would fight our points tooth and nail. He worked that day and we still spent most of the day texting paragraphs, the argument continuing into the night.

As time progressed, it quickly became clear to me that there was no way of saving anything. I had lost everything I built with Julius, the moment that Raphael said what he had to me the night before.

Still, Julius continued fighting for our love. It hurt me to see it, because I wanted to fight with him, but I was so depleted that I asked him that we sleep and see where we are in the morning.

He agreed that would be for the best.

I didn’t sleep well.

July 24, 2022.

If someone asked me at the end, I’d tell them, “Put me back in it.”

Waking up around 7am, we regrouped. The conversation was a lot calmer, though the pain had settled into J’s dark brown eyes. I told him earnestly that I worried about the state of our future, and if I am the wife for him. I explained to him my desires to leave Phoenix as soon as possible, and told him that I couldn’t keep waiting for him to make that move with me.

I desperately didn’t want it to end but at the same time I knew that I had made every mistake. Raphael had touched me, and then told me something straight of a dream. Julius and I had lived a life like a fairytale. It felt unreal how much we had loved each other, but I knew every second of it was authentic.

He had been so good for me, but I couldn’t expect Julius to stand beside me if he knew everything that had happened. I was too embarrassed to tell him about it, even though I hadn’t consented explicitly, I felt I had made a mistake.

Up until that point no other man had touched me sexually, so how could I be okay with letting him have me after another man had used me?

All of it was too much. It made me dizzy, it made me sick, it made me hate myself and everything I stood for.

Julius went back and forth with me for a few minutes, before his resolve broke entirely, “okay, but please don’t leave…”

“I really think leaving is for the best, Julius… You deserve your space to move on from me,” I told him, holding back tears.

We were laying in bed together, holding hands and doing this. It broke me apart.

“I don’t think I can just stop loving you even if you do leave… There is no moving on, I wanted you forever, Dolores. I know I can’t be without you, I know I need you in my life…”

“I’m not staying, Julius,” I reaffirmed, as the tears fell.

“Tell me where you’re going?” He asked, curiously, his voice breaking. “Don’t move back in with your family…”

“I don’t know where yet, but it won’t be with my family don’t worry…” I tried to comfort him through my own tears as he broke down and wrapped his arms around me.

If I could hold you for a minute, darling, I would do it again… Though, I know my heart would break, I’d tell them, “Put me back in it.”

“Don’t lose my number, Dolly… Don’t ever lose my number, even if you don’t talk to me for years. You need me, you call me,” he begged, holding onto me.

July 26, 2022.

Seeing Kansas City, Kansas for the first time through my windshield, leaves me unimpressed but remembering another time. I stuff the thoughts, bury the emotions and the choking feelings beginning to overtake me.

Drove up to an empty motel room and checked in for the night.

So when I break down and list all the reasons, I’m here and I’m still breathing, oh, I’m hanging on.

Undated Entry

I want to disappear, sob for a day or two… and then find a part time job to get me out of my new apartment. Got a diner job just down the street from my new apartment. Speaking of, moving in tomorrow.

My remote company shipped me my new work station, I’ll have it by next week to start that… Rent is cheap out here. I think I’ll do fine alone…

July 31, 2022

Today, I met Harvey and he tipped me $1,000 to go to a military ball with him. I guess I’m going, then.

CLICK FOR FULL JULY 31, 2022 POST

SONG REFERENCE affection by BETWEEN FRIENDS Emerald Star by Lord Huron Francesca by Hozier Sleep Deprivation by Chance Pena

[positivexcellence]

my71mag:  “I love this planet & all that she provides.” 🍃🌏 Throwback to our chat with Space 2021 cover star @genpadalecki on “Walker,” “Supernatural” & protecting the Earth (🔗 in stories). 💫 . Photography: @neohombre Hair & makeup: @billymercerbeauty Art & location: “Submergence” by Squidsoup, “Hoshi” by NONOTAK Studio & “Body Paint” by Memo Akten at Wonderspaces Austin . **Space 2023 is coming soon!** #genpadalecki #actress #quotes #interview #71magazine #my71mag #space #throwback #artslesstraveled #badasswomen

[peeinginstyle]

Wonderspace, Philadelphia, PA

[coldlittleheart999]

Wonderspaces💭

[selfiemuseumcharlotte]

Selfie Museum Charlotte: Captivating, Fun, Memorable, Unique

Selfie Museum Charlotte by Popcorn Trailer Studios is an interactive studio space for creators and families.

Click Here to Get Access

Why You Should Visit Selfie Museum Charlotte by Popcorn Trailer Studios

Ready to take your selfie game to the next level? The Selfie Museum Charlotte by Popcorn Trailer Studios is the perfect spot! Here's why:

A Space for Creators

Creators and influencers will find endless opportunities here. Think about all those amazing backgrounds you've seen at places like the Museum of Selfies in Los Angeles. Now, picture it right here in Charlotte! Unique sets and artistic installations make every shot Instagram-worthy.

A Dream for Photographers

Photographers, this is your playground. Taking inspiration from Color Factory in New York, Selfie Museum Charlotte offers dynamic backdrops and perfect lighting to make every photo pop. Bring your own camera or use the museum’s facilities for stunning results.

Fun for the Whole Family

Families, ever been to Candytopia in Atlanta? It's a blast, right? Selfie Museum Charlotte brings that same sense of fun and wonder. Your kids will love it, and you'll get those perfect family pics to remember the day.

Don’t Miss Out!

Whether you're a creator, a photographer, or just someone looking for a fun family activity, Selfie Museum Charlotte by Popcorn Trailer Studios offers

Interactive Experiences

It’s more than just photos. Immerse yourself in a world of interactive experiences. Remember the fun you had at The Happy Place? Imagine those vibrant, happy vibes but tailor-made for your selfies. From neon lights to playful props, every corner is designed for delightful surprises.

Perfect for Events

Planning a birthday, anniversary, or a unique date? The Selfie Museum Charlotte is the go-to spot. Events become unforgettable with backdrops that transform your memories into art. Compare that to 29Rooms by Refinery29, where every room tells a story; here, every snapshot speaks volumes.

Seasonal Exhibits

Expect continual excitement! Like how WonderSpaces keeps things fresh with new exhibits, Selfie Museum Charlotte frequently updates with seasonal themes. There’s always something new to discover, making each visit unique and exciting.

Get ready to make memories that last a lifetime with countless opportunities at the Selfie Museum Charlotte!

Immersive Art Installations

Step into a canvas of creativity with our immersive art installations. Think about the awe-inspiring beauty of Art Basel, but now it’s accessible to everyone. These setups are perfect for anyone wanting that perfect shot that stands out, transforming every social media post into a work of art.

Friendly Atmosphere

One of the highlights is the welcoming environment. Like the warmth you feel at Color Factory, our team ensures everyone leaves with a smile. Friendly guides are available to help you capture the perfect angle or suggest the best poses for that extraordinary photo.

Ideal for Influencers

Influencers will find endless opportunities for content creation. Our thoughtfully designed spaces provide diverse settings to keep feeds fresh and engaging. It’s like having a series of professional photoshoots, but all in one place.

Visit Selfie Museum Charlotte by Popcorn Trailer Studios Explore more about our interactive studio and book your visit today at Selfie Museum Charlotte.

[wehavehadtoday]

museum dates

[travelthumbelina]

Wonderspaces, AZ✨ #2024

[mywalkabout40]

back to Wonderspaces for 2022

It’s hard to believe how many years I’ve been going back to Wonderspaces. Time truly is a cruel mistress. From first hearing about this new concept space for art and creativity in 2018, I’ve been a regular over the years as the galleries have changed, even through the dark pandemic years. As I’m still trying to mold a new version of myself this decade, I use the freedom that this place opens in…

[ggabbiegabss]

wonderspaces w/ wookie🩷

[valyalyon]

June 2022

This is the month before Dolores leaves Phoenix to move to Kansas. Tomorrow I will be posting the July 2022 post, where we'll get to see some very important events leading to the end of Dolores and J's relationship. Not crazy explicit, but another potentially dub con situation so read with caution. Below for more Dreams, Ink and Embers.

DIE MASTER LIST OR #LYONDIE

June 16, 2022.

Today, Julius and I have been together for 46 months! We are so close to 4 years...

CW: Sexually explicit content, explicit language and vague dub con. Cheating. MDNI.

...I’ve never been happier and I feel so at peace. We keep jumping from strength to strength.

We moved out from our respective places and moved into a house that we shared with another couple.

It feels really fun to be living with him. I feel like I have a best friend and a lover at all times. Anyway, no idea what he’s planning for today.

“This is so cute, Julius,” I said, swooning as we came up the stairs of a building onto the roof top.

Everything was already set up for us, a beautiful table in the middle with two chairs and silverware, rose petals scattered the floor, and there was a candle on the table.

It was honestly so cute, and I had no idea where this was going.

I hoped it was more than just a dinner, I’ll admit that. I hadn’t been pestering him but he seemed more ready than ever to propose.

Still, I kept my hopes low and just enjoyed the night for what it was: a cute, romantic dinner with a beautiful view of Phoenix at night.

We each had chicken dishes, along with potatoes, and rice. I drank vodka with OJ, pineapple juice, and more vodka.

After a while of laughing, this conversation started.

“I know we’ve talked about marriage before but, lately I’ve really had it on my mind. Living with you has been honestly the best…” he said, and then he paused for a second.

Oh, hello love, for you, I have so many words. But I, I forget where we were…

I looked at him, eyebrows furrowed slightly in cute confusion. He always said I looked like a little rabbit.

“You okay, Tough Man?” I asked confused.

“Yeah, sorry… I lost my train of thought with that one. I think I just meant to say that I know I want to be with you forever, Dolores.”

I smiled and kissed him, “I want to be with you forever, Julius…”

Julius smiled for a second, and then kissed me again, “I think you’d make an amazing mother and a wife I just wouldn’t deserve, too sweet and too perfect for me.”

“I’ve been so happy, lately, Julius… You’ve changed me so much since we met,” I played with his beard a little, and smiled as I looked into his dark eyes.

“These last few months are the happiest I’ve been in years and since I met you I have grown and learned so much,” he told me, standing to give me a hug.

We shared a tight hug and I couldn’t help but laugh, “you always squeeze me like you wanna pop me.”

“I’d love to drink whatever comes out of you when you pop,” he kissed me and then we returned to our seats to finish dinner.

I remember feeling so sad that he hadn’t proposed to me that day, and of course years later, I’d find out that he had been planning to propose on our 4 year anniversary.

June 18, 2022

A few days after the dinner, Julius invited some of his friends to come with us to Arizona Wonderspaces in Scottsdale. The two friends, Charlie and Owen, both lived on the way to the event space, so Julius agreed to pick them up.

It was pretty much universally agreed: everyone would be getting stoned in the parking lot of Wonderspaces and then we’d make an appearance and interact with the art experience.

What I wasn’t planning on though was everything starting to get derailed.

After we arrived, after we had smoked, Julius looked up from his phone and said, “Raphael said he’s pulling up right now.”

“Raphael is coming?” I asked, confused and beginning to rub my temples. As an introvert, I was already going out of my way so much that day, and now Raphael was going to be there too.

I was less than amused.

“Yeah… I’m sorry, I did forget to tell you. Wanna keep smoking a little longer?” Julius tried to make it up to me.

“Yes please… Give me two minutes and I’ll catch up with you guys,” I felt so bad but I was a very anxious person and I needed to be prepared in advance for events and people.

Julius gave me a sweet kiss on the lips, and then turned to Charlie and Owen, “let’s start walking boys. Slow though, she’s got little legs.”

He got out of the car with his friends, and I stayed smoking. I took another 7-9 deep puffs of smoke, and let them out slow but completely.

I caught up with the boys, clung onto J’s arm as we approached the part of the mall the experience was in. Right outside, Raphael stood waiting. He turned to greet us, and went right for Julius and the boys first.

“Dude, you have the tickets… I’ve been standing here like a fucking criminal…” Raphael told Julius, giving him a hug.

He greeted Charlie and Owen casually with hand shakes, and a typical, “lookin’ strong dude” to each one.

I was bored out of my mind, wondering why we were in a queue and when I would get to start seeing pretty lights. I was so stoned and already had an airpod in to disappear during the experience.

Raphael finished his introductions to the boys, Julius had circled back to stand beside me by now but was distracted talking to Charlie and Owen.

In this one second with Julius and his friends occupied, Raphael took my hand and kissed it. I remember thinking it was inappropriate, and trying to focus my attention on his eyes to voice my discomfort.

That was the only thing, I hadn’t ever looked into his eyes until that moment and maybe being stoned added to it, but the memories came flooding back in. Dreams of love with a man named R. The love was harsh, cruel, and possessive. It was all encompassing, it was powerful beyond words.

But it was scary and dangerous and unstable. Nothing would be promised, nothing ever could be promised with R.

As our eyes met, Raphael smiled at me, and his eyes looked so confident. All he said to me was, “So happy to finally meet you.”

I immediately got mad.

Raphael and I had met and been around each other numerous times. I pulled my hand from his, annoyed, and turned my attention to Julius, who was already turning to me.

“I hate this guy, can you stand in between us?” I gave my biggest puppy dog eyes to Julius without really meaning to.

Julius looked at Raphael and started to laugh, “you can’t pretend not to know the Princess.”

I honestly tuned out their conversations after that, moving to the back of the group and listening to music while we wandered through each exhibit.

Raphael, Owen, and Charlie had all decided to get drinks from the bar, and when we met up with them again we were in the coolest mirror-light exhibit I had seen in a while.

Julius met up with them while I wandered aimlessly down the aisle in view of him. I was pretty fucking stoned and having a really nice time by then. The lights are still and luminescent, the energy is just electric.

See, since I had remembered the R dreams, I found it incredibly hard to breathe. My heart was racing, my face and body were hot. I was trying to maintain my distance from Raphael, just because I did not want to interact with him.

They ended up coming towards me and I noticed that each one of them was carrying 2 drinks. They had bought 6 drinks. From the looks of it, too, both drinks were just several shots of whiskey or bourbon.

I tried to focus on the conversation to see what they were saying, still shifting along the floor and glancing at the reflections, the lights…

“Honestly, Ralph, that’s just messed up. Did you at least pay for it?” Julius asked him, and then grabbed me by the arm pulling me to him.

I spun and landed in his arms, Julius held me in place and I looked up to see Raphael standing a couple feet in front of us. Again, his dark eyes were glued onto my eyes.

He pulled his eyes away and turned his attention back to Julius, responding with, “yeah, man, why wouldn’t I? You think I’m broke?” Raphael sounded kind of angry all of a sudden.

Julius laughed and turned to give me a kiss. I kissed him and held his face, “can we go into the next exhibit?”

“Of course, Dolly,” Julius said with a smile and gave me another kiss.

In this next room, though, there were red lights hung on thin chords, with glowing white lights in between them. We went in a line, I was first, then Julius, Owen, Charlie, and Raphael.

Eventually, though, maybe overcome by all the darkness and the floating lights, and all highly intoxicated in one way or another; the line broke apart.

I didn’t notice it immediately, too engulfed in the lights. So, when I felt the hot hands touch my shoulders, I whispered, “Julius…”

Am I not the one you’re dreaming of, my angel?

I was wearing a pink dress. It was delicate, his hands start to lift the dress up my thigh. One hand holds up the front of the dress, the other grips my neck.

His hand moves down to my panties, and he touches me along my clit. He knows my body so well… Like he’s known it for so many years…

His mouth comes to my neck and he gives me a kiss. It’s wet and hot, and I’m trembling against his touch.

The lights are dazzling me, and I start moaning, “kiss me… kiss…” I was turning towards him quickly reaching up to wrap my arms around him.

He was pulling me in by the waist when I met his eyes.

If our love is so wrong, tell me, why does it feel so right?

Those weren’t my J’s eyes. Staring back at me was Raphael, his arms wrapped around my waist, and his eyes focused on mine.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“You okay, Lola?” Raphael asked me, letting me go.

“Why would you do that, Raphael?” I asked, my voice getting annoyed so fast. “I’m going to tell Julius.”

“Are you?” Raphael asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Okay, do you mind if I tell him about you and this little skirt?” Raphael’s voice was dark and stern.

“My outfit doesn’t mean anything, you pervert,” I replied very angrily, wanting to get away from him before I started to scream at him.

“That’s not necessarily what I mean… That skirt came up pretty easy for a man that isn’t your man,” Raphael stood nearby, blocking me into this little space I’d wandered into.

He felt like a wild predator. He was a Lion, a hunter stalking it’s prey. He made me furious, he scared me, I wanted to kick him.

“Maybe because I thought it was my man,” I was exacerbated and didn’t want to get angrier with him, so I looked him in the eye, and said very forcefully, “take me back to Julius.”

“What if I didn’t?” Raphael asked, crossing his arms and leaning into look at me.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down, shaking him, “Take me now! The next time I reach for you, I’ll be grabbing your hair and tearing it out.”

He laughed but grabbed my wrist and took me back to the group. It hadn’t even been three minutes, nobody noticed we were gone.

In another room, there were these silver balloons in the center of the room. Around the room, on all of the walls and the floors and ceiling, were rings within rings within rings. Just a circular, particle filled repeating pattern. It was hypnotizing.

I stood beside Julius on one side of the room, the two of us talking and laughing together. I’m not sure where his friends were, or if there were cameras in the experience, but Julius started to kiss and touch me.

I moaned against his kisses, trying to push out of mind what happened with Raphael. As he touched me though, as we kissed, I noticed that Raphael was staring at me.

Those dark eyes were burning, they looked angry, staring from across the room. I remember thinking to myself that he seemed set on destroying the life his best friend was creating and I wondered if it was jealousy.

I closed my eyes, and continued to focus on Julius and our relationship.

Although, now there was a thought burning in my mind. What were the R dreams? And why did Raphael look so much like the man in those dreams?

SONG REFERENCE I Forget Where We Were by Ben Howard Meet Me in the City by Lord Huron