#wonderings

[atiltedexistence]

...'Hello. An-..anyone there?'

What would you do if this were truth? Separate. Detached. The world and others melded together. People and places wholly one.

Is it due to sitting still? Perhaps a run through quckened panorama will immerse you. Turn the reel up a few clicks. Even blurred, it is better still.

What's this? You've stopped. Half bent, ragged. You glimpse your digits. Flexing, flickering before you... which world do they belong to?

So odd the way how we're meshed with it. Netted and kept - bound into flesh.

[jcpostsobsessions]

I watch enough crimes shows to know a few things:

1) never say “over my dead body” to someone who has a weapon pointing at you

2) refrain from saying something that will continue to trigger an unstable suspect

3) police shoots the suspect when they sees a change in course (e.g. when Eun sang moved the gun to point at Hae In), they should take down the suspect before the suspect pulls their trigger.

4) why did it take several seconds for the police to shoot Eun sang when Hyun woo has already been shot and falls to the ground? They literally shot him several moments later at which point Eun Sang has enough time to shoot Hae In again.

[introvertedlass]

I wonder...

how many actors truly hate the award show circuit? I'm talking about the actors that are truly serious about their craft and know that it is an necessary evil yet they dread the whole experience.

I suspect there are a lot of them. Seems exhausting.

[sol-poppy]

Do fae need/drink water???

[sardonic-sprite]

What Bruce and the Robins and all the other bat-people and even GCPD have a stack of excuse slips so that when they resuce someone who doesn't need/want hospitals they can still have a record for their school/work that they were recently threatened, drugged, kidnapped, or otherwise traumatized and may be absent for the next several days?

[dhia-dreaming]

I wonder if vampires tried sunscreen to avoid Sun damage.

[thatseventiesbitch]

Gads, what I would pay to be a fly-on-the-wall of the That '70s Show cast group chat/text thread today... 😅

[nemuuii-i]

actually I hope dying is like waking up from a dream that you’re already forgetting, but you have the vibe it was pretty good. I hope it’s like waking up in your bed and you’re not tired just a bit sleepy, and everyone is home and the sun is not too bright. I hope it feels like the aftermath of a fuzzy dream that leaves you bittersweet but content. I hope dying is like waking up to a world that loves you

[savetheupholstery]

I’m in the library studying, it’s too early or too late to be awake but here I am

And then suddenly (for no reason at all) I am 12 again and in my grandparents spare bedroom

It’s the first time I’m not in the attic with my sister, she’s in the room down the hall, and I’m scared to sleep alone

My Granny hands me a tiny iPod with all the stories she’s given me, the ones I used to sleep to when I was 8 and 9 before we lost them in the move.

And I haven’t been here in years (2 years and 8) and I don’t know why my brain has brought me to this memory but just for a moment, my Granny is next to me, and she doesn’t understand technology that well but she has these stories for me and she’s sitting with me, helping me be not afraid.

And I don’t know yet that I’ll miss her forever. Like a hole in my heart. That years in the future, I’ll start crying and search up those lost CD’s to have some piece of her back.

And it’s just this moment that my brains latched on to. Seemingly insignificant. But of all the little moments my brain forgets, I’m glad it brings me back to this one. A reminder of comfort and love.

[applesandpavenders]

So, theoretically, if Gregor had killed the bane, and the ‘gnawers [got] their key to power’ would that mean that Gregor would have switched sides? Like, would Gregor have ended up working for the rats. Or would he have just been so destructive that he brought down regalia by himself?

Or would him losing the integral good part of him made him useless as ‘the warrior’ and therefore been unable to protect the underlanders. Or is it just that if Gregor killed the Bane, he would have made such an unbreakable hatred between both species that he would a, wiped out all humans in a mass war, and b, never become the peacemaker which is the most effective part of him.

[iryght]

When you finally found another artist in your school, you could only wonder.

Do you feel this too?

It's always there, until it isn't.

it can be after that blissful moment, when you finally, finally finished that piece. Your masterpiece. You look at it and for a moment, all is well.

Beautiful. Perfectly imperfect. Not what you originally planned, maybe, but great on its own way. Yours.

You blink. You breath.

Then, in flash of black, the feeling is gone. Gone with the wind and air, with that little voice that says wrong wrong wrong-

It can last longer than that. Sometimes it's a minute, sometimes a whole day. But eventually, inevitably, that bliss will fade. That little scrap of happiness will fade and fly with the pages of your sketches.

Maybe, you thought, this wasn't so bad. Maybe, he feels that too.

Perhaps he looks at your drawings, at your vastly different styles and also thinks, i am not enough, can I even call myself an artist?

You heard about it once. It was shocking back then, to hear someone else talk about the void in your soul. You could remember perfectly, how you thought that maybe you are not the only one feeling like an imposter.

They said it was part of existing. That this was what made so many people great. Trying and trying and always seeing the wrong parts of it and always trying to fix it. This circle of self criticism. It was what made people improve.

It felt like freedom, knowing you aren't the only one trapped in this cage we call humanity. Knowing you aren't alone in this. That this feeling is normal.

But then, the little voice whispers.

Don't you see? That just means you will always feel like this.

No matter how far you reach, how good you get.

You will always feel this hole in your soul, this earning.

You will look at the sun and the moon, will look at your dreams and yourself and think i can do better than this.

You will forever be unsatisfied.

Reaching, grasping, coiling around that scrap of hope like a snake to its prey.

Aiming for the sky, the moon, the stars.

Forever aiming for more, despite knowing you will never get it. Not truly, not completely.

Until finally, you are free from this flesh cage, free in a burst of ashes. Falling in the gentle and wild hold of the ocean.

For those who dream are forever cursed to fall.

Once more, unblinking at what was always there, you shut that voice away. You look at your drawing and wonder what is missing.

Icarus knew he would fall and tried anyway. Only a fool would follow his example.

But humanity was always foolish, wasn't it?

So you ignore the fact that this hole would always be there, you do your best to ignore the soulless beings pretending to join your journey, you even ignore the fact no one around you really believes in you.

You shut that all away and, like a broken record, wonders what is missing.

Maybe some color would help. Maybe some yellow would fix this.

Nothing would really fix it. But that doesn't stop you from trying.

After all, you are just another fool, one who thinks they will learn to swim at some point.

[thewonderingwench]

Well, I've returned to the fold I suppose.

My first time here, I found intense joy at finding a place I could talk about myself authentically and what I was up to. I left for personal reasons after a short time here, but found myself here again. That time, I treated it too much like the face in the book we don't like to talk about. I found myself not actually talking about myself or my journey, no matter how hard I tried. I left again, for that and other reasons.

And now, I'm back again. With a different approach. I've really missed having this outlet. And the book of faces is just.... blehhhhh. I don't aim for this to be a collection of re-posts. I truly want this to be MY blog. MY space (no, not THAT my space!) Where I can spill my thoughts out when I can't properly journal. Where I can scream to the void when I feel frustrated. Where I feel a little more free talking about my life and showing it.

So now, I suppose, I should set my stage.

I live in the midwest of the US. It's hot here right now, being the middle of summer. I work in retail at a gift shop. We still sort of identify as a metaphysical shop, but even as an employee I feel the store has gone in the direction of "love and light knick-knacks" but that's a different story. I'm glad I have the day off and can mostly stay in the cool of the apartment. I've spent most of the day hanging with my sister and reading Lord of the Rings again.

It's the big copy with all three books, 1031 pages. As a kid in middle school, I tried to read it but struggled. In high school I tried again, but still struggled. I loved the movies. And I really wanted to read them at some point. When I met my partner, who is one of the biggest Tolkien fans I've met, I knew I had to try again. We visited one of his favorite book shops on one of our dates and I got the copy I have now. Once I got home and started it, it took me a week. I sped through, staying up late, reading on my break. Every spare moment I had, I was reading it.

This read through I started in January, when I was in the hospital with nothing else I could do but read. My partner brought me my copy and I read at every spare moment I could. I was in there for 3 or 4 days and almost finished The Fellowship of the Ring. After getting out of the hospital, I pick it up and put it down again, sometimes for weeks. I just finished the first book in The Two Towers.

I'm still the same person who read this very book in a week. But things change, life gets chaotic. You can always pick it back up. And that sorta goes with anything I suppose. If things get too heavy, it's okay to set down your burdens to take a breather. You can always pick it back up when you're ready.

[coffeecatsandcoldnights]

To be loved and to be understood and to be respected without asking for it or demanding for it but because they see you; something everyone longs for. Almost like a privilege to be bestowed on.

[ardent-reflections]

I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed, and what they were sorry for.

Jonathan Safran Foer

[silver-fire-wolf-pokemon-lover]

Sooo rambling here cause while it is tmnt related it doesnt exactly fit on my au blog. Its mostly musings and questions.

Firstly thinking about the turtles love languages and what they might be...partly inspired by seeing someone post about their aus version of donnies love language(s) and it got me thinking about it.

Moat versions of donnie seem to have gift giving/an act of service as their love language. I think we see this most, of the animated turtles specifically, with 2003 and Rise Donnie, correct me if im wrong, but the other Donnies still do this very often.

The mikeys seem to have physical touch as theit love language which is why they often are initating contact with their brothers. Its also why usually if the mikeys are huggers their usually the first to hug their brothers.

Unfortuantly I cant exactly pin point the leos and raphs , at least not well,because well admidedly I have a harder time getting into their heads. I have a little bit of what the leos might be but im not

I think some of the leos also have an act of sevice as their love language but not all of them? But I feel they have another love langauage as well.

If I have to take a shot in the dark for the raphs uhh I think it depends but a couple of raphs seem like words of afformation? Please note this is not a stable guess and what yall think about this all!

.....

The next bits kinda pertain to rise specifically namely the ninpo. So it was floating around that apparently the writers intended for the ninpo/mystics the boys have to get stronger/more varried as time went on/they got older and im curious what people think those abilities might be. I have my own ideas and ill share what they are and why but they might be...underwhelming.

Please note this would be the good time line where no one lost their ninpo to the krang and they can all develop it as they get older.

Imma start with leo cause hes the one i was able to think of easily

Mass teleport with no portals. In the fight against shredder leos show to be able to telepodt without making portals first and even swapping with people and its been show he can still use his portals for long distance or group teleporting, or even delayed teleporting so instanious group teleportation doesnt seem too much a stretch.

Healing ngl I am a fan of medic leo, how ever I belive medic leo is more likely to happen after the events of the movie as before hand they seemed to heal fairly fast and may have not had majorly needed a medic nessisarly.

Water manipulation this is a bit...indulgent, my sister who I roll play with a lot and I have always associated the leos with the element of water soo....

Next imma gonna do Donnie

Tecnomancy- obviously donnies ninpo/mystics connect more with his liking of science and technology and his creativity. Being able to simply mentally connecr with and control technology would certainly be a step in the right direction I think. This would actually be the broad term to use and some other abilities I thought of certainnly fall under it.

Data collection- more or less he touches something technology based and any information it has kinda gets for lack of a better word "downloaded" into his brain.

Manipulation of tech- kinda taking already exsiting tech and uaing his ninpo to turn it into something else.

Electricity manipulation- zappy zapps...*cough* ok but in all seriousness being able to manipulate the electricity that powers his tech would help with the powers/flow of the tech.

Mikey

Err ngl a lot of mikeys abilities would probably be inspired by the movie because well yeah

Flight- was show to have at least levitation if not outght right flight in the movie.

Teleportation-seen in the movie as a mystic master

Fire manipulation- already shows shades od this by summoning fires with his nunchucks

Super speed-mikey is extreamly energetic and that could easily translate into this

Just magic just just magic what ever draxum could teach this kid

Raph...I dont got much

Barriers cause hes a protective older brother

Clones cause he was shown to be able to do that in the shredder fight even if we didnt see it in the movie

Maybe an elemental manipulation since his brothers also have those in their power listings

I look at raphs powers and ask myself how to work with this

....

Finally this is an in general thing uhh how does one write a fight scene im working on a fic for my tmnt aus and Im...just how do fight scene?