#wondering through my old posts this is a fun one
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Alright guys,,, I have to make a serious post for once,, whomp whomp but I really do have to. I can’t ignore this.
So I received an link to a post in my ask box, and what the post is basically saying is that I am a trans fetishist for drawing my P1 doe with body hair and muscles. Not a fun thing to hear as a trans person, and especially not fun to hear as a non-passing trans person.
I will not link that post or blog because I do not want that person to be harassed, if you do find them please DO NOT send them anything. I really don’t want people to get involved in petty online discourse. It’s not fun to experience nor look at.



These are the examples this person used (reposting my art without permission) to show that I’m being weird about trans women. This person used an April Fools joke drawing as one of the examples. The April fools drawing is heavily inaccurate to how P1 looks. I can’t believe someone would prefer those drawings over an actual attempt at a design for a woman P1 (trans or cis). But hey, if someone wants to draw anime girl P1, then you do you!
Now, about my design for P1 doe (I also call her Postal 1 Lady fyi)….

Exaggerate masculine traits…..? Look, I try my best to make P1 lady look similar to her male counterpart, because they are the same person, just through different times in life. They’re going to have the same body type. In most of my P1 lady drawings, I imagine she’s around the beginning of her transition into womanhood, so she’s obviously not going to pass right away (I also think she would be a bit nervous to fully commit to transitioning). She can’t afford surgeries or hormone replacement therapy, and I don’t think she has to medically transition in order to be considered a women. Sorry for not drawing her super hyper feminine, but I really don’t think she would constantly dress or look that feminine. She’s allowed to wear jeans, and be hairy, and have strong arms. This person did say that it’s ok to draw women who are trans that fit some of these traits, but then bashes me for drawing a women that doesn’t fit into the binary. It’s fine to draw women that doesn’t fit the “perfect” image of a women in theory, but actually drawing a lady with traits that don’t fit the idealized version of what a woman “should be” is apparently wrong. Let me draw someone that doesn’t 100% pass. Let me draw people that don’t fit the box of what that gender holds. Let me draw a human being that expresses themself differently than others of the same group. Let me draw myself and other people like me please. Also,, side note,,, for the love of everything, cis women can also be hairy and tall and muscular and stuff like that, I’m saying this to tell you that WOMEN can look like ANYTHING. MEN can look like ANYTHING. A PERSON OF ANY GENDER could look like ANYTHING. We all look so different from each other and that’s amazing, so lets also draw different people as well? Thanks. (I think this person would die if they saw a butch trans women.)
Also, about that comment…

Yes, I have drawn odd art of Postal 1 dude. My bad, my liege. I love being policed on what to draw by a proshipper. Ain’t that wonderful /vsarc… I want you to know that I have also drawn art of P1 dude in skirts that are way less peculiar. Some of them are old, but I promise you I am not constantly being gay for this guy (as in not being a freak). I’ve probably drawn way more art of P1 being queer around guns than drawing him in pretty dresses. I would absolutely prefer to be called a gun fetishist than a trans fetishist because at least it would somewhat be correct.🫤 But this isn’t about that.
Anyways, cis people will hate us all equally, let’s not be so crazy about the boxes they built for us. Thanks folks. And now, for my final act, I will be turning every single character ever into a trans person right now. I’m turning evil and now your favorite male character is xenogender and uses meow/xey, thanks. (If they saw how I draw Not Important, they would probably throw rocks at me. I changed absolutely NOTHING about her design. Shout out to my favorite evil women ever!🗣‼️)



Just wanted to put an epic lady compilation at the end here. I love my wife so much!! She is my world..❤️ 🐾 I don’t know if I should draw more of her at this point….. but eh….. That’s my wife you know..
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)
horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)
#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force#ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale#just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3#PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD#mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions#she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want#but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust#(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him#its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i#after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were#LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill#itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but#just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3#i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN#ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ office visitations
pairing: wife!reader x ceo!rafe synopsis: wife!reader goes to visit rafe at work for lunch warnings: smut, breeding kink, praise, soft rafe, talk of pregnancy, fluffy ending MDNI - wc: 2k a/n: another old fic! i swear i’m actually gonna post something new, i’m currently preparing some fics for a milestone <3 be patient pls!! fun fact; this was first posted on my birthday!! originally posted 11/15/2024
rafe masterlist ♡

everyone on kildare island wondered how rafe cameron of all men had managed to land you; sure, he was rich and good looking, but in figure 8, that was nothing. but somehow he had, and only after six months of being your boyfriend, he had asked you to marry him; no one knew that he had been looking at rings after your very first date.
you were basically his opposite; the sweet, girl-next-door pogue who no one ever had anything bad to say about, while he was known to lash out at whoever was in the wrong place in the wrong time, but after meeting you, he was obsessed.
rafe was sitting in his office, just having finished up a board meeting, those always stressing him out, paperwork piling on his desk, his cup of coffee having gone cold already.
there was a soft knock on rafe's door, and he rubbed his forehead, letting out a small scoff; he had told his secretary to not let absolutely anyone to come bother him. he looked up at the door, letting out a cold and detached, "come in." knowing that his secretary would be looking for a new job.
but as soon as he saw the familiar pair of eyes playfully peek into his office, it was like all the tension slowly rolled off his shoulders. "hi." you said with a smile that was so bright and sunny rafe was sure it could've melted down an icecap. "can i come in?"
rafe cleared his throat, standing up from his chair, "yeah, of course." the man smiled, running a hand through his mussed-up blonde hair as you stepped into his office. you were wearing a long, flowy sundress, carrying two cups of coffee and a bag of something, "what's this?" your husband asked amusedly, his head nodding toward the bag.
"i brought you some coffee and croissants." you said, placing the things on his desk and turning to him, "i knew you're always stressed after board meetings. i would be too, if i had to sit around with a bunch of old guys for an hour straight listening to their issues with you or whatever you do." you chuckled, straightening the collar of his button-up.
"you know just what i need." he groaned, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, tilting his head down so he could nuzzle it into your neck, breathing in the floral scent of your perfume while you let out a small chuckle, your eyes closing as you held him, stroking his back.
he pulled back, looking down at your dress with a small grin, "did you wear this for me?" he asked, feeling the fabric inbetween his fingers, "it looks great."
"thank you. my husband got it for me." you said playfully, giving him your left hand. rafe took hold of it, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before looking at your engagement ring.
"he has great taste. in women, in clothing, and in jewelry."
you laugh softly, shaking your head and rolling your eyes, until rafe took your chin inbetween his pointer finger and his thumb, forcing you to look up at him, the man admiring the way your eyes twinkled, moving his hands to rest on your waist again. "you look so gorgeous."
"and you look very handsome." you said, tugging him down into a kiss, your lips on his immediately causing rafe's head to buzz. rafe's hands slowly slid down to your ass, grabbing at the flesh through your summer dress, pulling you closer while one of your hands was on his chest, and one of your hands was on the back of his neck, short blond hair meeting your soft palms.
you pulled away from the kiss breathlessly, keeping your forehead and nose pressed to his, your breaths mingling together while your eyes were closed.
"i missed you..."
"you saw me this morning." rafe mumbled, one of his hands traveling to your cheek, cupping it in his hand while his thumb stroked your soft cheek.
"does that mean i can't miss you?" your brows raised with a chuckle, the hand that had been resting on his chest was now tugging his button-up out of the trousers they were tucked in, rafe letting out a small groan when he felt your warm hand slowly trail up the line of his abs, "you know, i realized something…" you practically purred into his ear.
"yeah? what'd you realize, sweetie?" he asked, nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck, pressing small kisses on your warm skin, causing shivers to run down your spine, goosebumps starting to form all over your body.
"i'm ovulating." you whispered with a grin, before pulling back to see his reaction. rafe lifted his head, looking at you with half-lidded eyes and a small grin, his hands sliding down to rest on the curve of your ass.
"mmhm, 's that the case?" he asked, he shamelessly looking down at your tits, rafe's adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, your fingers starting to unbutton the buttons of his shirt, revealing more and more of his tanned chest, shivers running down his spine when he felt your manicured nails on the skin that you were slowly baring. "i guess we should take advantage of that, then."
you let out a small squeal when your husband lifted you into his arms without any difficulty, carrying you to the other side of his desk. rafe sat down on his chair, positioning you so that you were straddling him, his calming cerulean eyes gazing up into yours.
your hand moves to the nape of his neck, fingers gently playing with the short tendrils of hair there as you gaze down at him, the hint of a smile playing at your lips. rafe brought his hand closer to your face, his fingers curling under your chin, bringing your face to meet his, the sides of your noses pressed against one another, breaths mingling together before his lips brushed against yours.
and soon, rafe's shirt hung unbuttoned on his broad shoulders, your panties discarded on his desk, your body still mostly covered by your dress, his slacks and boxers at his ankles. the thumb of his left hand brushed against your hardened nipple over the fabric of your dress, a small gasp escaping your lips as your soaked entrance hovered over the tip of his cock, practically aching to sink itself down on him.
"you ready?" rafe whispered under you, pressing a featherlight kiss on your clothed nipple, and somehow even that was enough to make you dizzy; you couldn't speak, simply nodding, his hands slowly crawling up from the sides of your thighs up your dress until they were on your hips, rafe's touch so hot you thought he might leave burn marks. slowly, he started bringing your hips lower, a long drawn-out whimper leaving your lips when you finally felt rafe stretch you out; you'd been together for a long time but every time his cock entered you it felt like the first time.
even though you were the one straddling him, rafe was the one doing all the work. slowly, he lifted you up, before bringing you back down, your head thrown back, lost in all the bliss you were feeling, his lips attaching themselves to your neck, pressing soft kisses on your pulse point as you let out small, soft laughs when you felt his stubble on your skin.
although his lips moved away from your neck, rafe continued moving you on top of him by your hips, briefly bringing one of his hands to cup your cheek, making you look down at him, your eyes hazy and glossed over from the pleasure he was giving you.
"you look so gorgeous like this..." rafe whispered, letting out a grunt as he felt you deliberately clench yourself around him, the corners of your mouth quirking up into an adorable, almost shy smile, your cheeks feeling warmer due to his sweet words.
he moved his hand back to your hips, continuing to guide you up and down on his cock, slightly picking up his pace, whimpers leaving your lips whenever he bottomed out in you, hitting that one spot like it was nothing, when for you, it felt like everything.
"so damn gorgeous..." he mumbled against your skin, and as one of rafe's hands traveled down to your pussy, his thumb starting to draw languid circles on your clit, you started moving your hips just slightly faster, every part of you screaming that you needed more of him, needed to feel every part of him.
"please..." you whined, the tone of your voice making something in rafe's chest ache while also making the heat in his abdomen nearly double.
as his thumb picked up its pace, your head felt so beautifully blank; all you could focus on were the sensations running through your body, the fire he'd lit inside of you, and the orgasm you were already starting to feel approaching.
"please, i'm so close..." you whined, your words getting muddled with your moans.
your eyes were closed, unable to see the way your husband was admiring you, looking up at you with pupils blown so wide his blue eyes might as well have turned into the shape of a heart, and he continued bucking his hips up into you, both of you chasing your orgasms, the sound of squelching and moaning filling his office.
suddenly, he felt your walls spasming around his cock, your orgasm washing over you as you held on tight to his shoulders, your body shuddering with pleasure, moans leaving your lips without you even realizing it was happening.
rafe watched as you came undone, continuing to move inside of you even though your walls felt snug around him, the man starting to feel a familiar tightening in his abdomen.
"'m so close..." rafe mumbled, not even sure if you could hear him through the bubble of bliss you seemed to be encased in. "gonna come in you... gonna put a baby in you... you're gonna look so gorgeous with my baby in you..."
when you let out a soft whimper, trying to move yourself on his cock even though you were still riding out his orgasm, rafe groaned, burying his head in the crook of your neck, loud whines leaving your lips when he fucked into you at a faster pace, rafe almost losing himself in you and the way you felt around him, knowing he'd never get enough of you, never get enough of having you like this.
it didn't take long until he let out a loud groan, and you felt ropes of his cum filling you, moving your hips slightly to make sure he was as deep inside of you as possible, the closeness feeling almost intoxicating.
neither one of you spoke for a while, and the only noise that could be heard in his office were the pants that slowly turned into regular breathing, and finally when it had settled, you pressed your forehead against rafe's, taking a deep breath.
you felt rafe's hand on your cheek, his thumb stroking the soft skin there, and it was like he was reading your thoughts; sometimes the way he knew you intimidated you, just because the thought of ever losing that scared the hell out of you.
"it's gonna happen." he said comfortingly, opening his eyes to look into yours, and you pulled your forehead away from his to do the same. you brought your hand to your abdomen, looking down at it while letting out a small sniffle, your tone laced with insecurity, "you think so?"
rafe pressed his hand over yours, and you wondered how someone could know exactly everything you thought and needed, his large, ringed hand somehow managing to soothe every single thought running through your mind.
"i know so, and i'm never wrong, am i?" he grinned smugly, making you roll your eyes, a soft laugh escaping your lips.
#꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#drew starkey#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fluff#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron obx#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut
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RANDOM ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.12


THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.
I DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS' POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN.
THIS POST HAS 18+ OBSERVATIONS AS WELL, so please be cautious if you choose to read further.
Mars in the 2nd house natives are very very competitive in nature. Anything and everything is a competition to them. 🙉😵💫
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Venus in the 3rd house natives are very good at flirting. My friend has this and he really says things that make me blush...and makes me wanna crush his face lol. 🥴😩
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Mercury in the 2nd house natives usually make promises a lot but quite often don't fulfill them or forget about them later on. They are more Talk, less Walk. 😮💨👍
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Sun in the 12th house natives are curious about sex and 18+ stuff at a very very young age. By that, I don't always mean losing your virginity at a young age. I mean learning about all this and being curious about it at a very young age, like at the age you are not supposed to be thinking about all this. 🙇♀️😶
EXAMPLE: I have this placement too and yes, I was at least 5 years old when I wondered whether people had intercourse (even though I didn't know it was called that, at that time)...yeah, when I found out they actually did, I was like EW and then I was like "DAMN. EW but WOAH" and was even more curious and learnt a lot about everything before I turned 10 years old. I did feel ashamed that I had such curiosities at such a raw age, but I am trying to accepted it through Shadow Work 🤧. NO. I never had "it", don't jump to conclusions people. ✋🙂
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Fire sign Venus natives crave reciprocation in relationships, otherwise they don't want the relationship at all. If they remember the small things about you, they want you to remember the small things about them as well.
If you send them a song, they will send you a song back as a message. You'll know a fire Venus native actually likes you or even Loves you for that matter, if they reciprocate your actions. 🔥🫂
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An Earth Mars woman likes a man who can stand up for her. Not a coward or a man who runs the minute she has problems. An Earth Mars woman craves a man who would protect her when she can't, mainly Capricorn Mars ladies. 💁♀️🤺
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In any kind of synastry, be it with a friend, a family member, a lover, an acquaintance, etc, 8th house SATURN overlay will always either:
Cause the Saturn person to intentionally or unintentionally hurt the house person, making their insecurities and fears worser. The house person will love and hold the Saturn person in high regards despite being hurt several times. 😕🤧
The Saturn person and the house person will be the ones calming each others insecurities and fears, being the ones proving them wrong. They will the first person in eachother's lives who prove those insecurities wrong and will prove to eachother that people like both of them exist. 🫂✨
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Saturn in the 5th house natives don't just wanna have flings, random hook-ups and one night stands with anyone. They want down bad serious relationships where they will only have sex with their committed partner. Sure, they will find some chapter attractive, but they won't give it all for just anyone. 👩❤️💋👨🤌
Usually these individuals are afraid of not pleasing their partner in bed and not being fun for their partner. These natives are afraid that their partners will get bored of them one day. They also are sort of afraid of physical intimacy because they don't think they look good enough naked and their partner will judge their body. 🥲😮💨
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Mercury in 2nd house or Taurus natives are more logical thinking and have a more realistic approach towards life while Mercury in 12th house or Pisces natives are more dreamy and kinda delulu with their approach towards life and also have more emotional thinking.
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I know damn well I have 8th house synastry with someone either when:
I instantly find them hard to look away from and when we catch eye contact, we just keep looking at each other. It's like no name is required, just two strangers talking to each other through their eyes. [BENEFIC OVERLAYS]
When I am annoyed by their presence for no damn reason, like I just hate looking at their face and hearing them talk, and they clearly hate me too from their body language and behavior around me. [MALEFIC OVERLAYS]
Personally, I also know damn well I'm always the house person *emotional damage* 🥲👍.
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In composite chart and synastry chart, I feel like Moon plays a very important role in showing the emotional connection, understanding and reliability between both the individuals. When Moon sits in reciprocation houses (2nd,4rth,6th,8th, or 12th) both the individuals take each other seriously when it comes to emotions.
If the Composite chart has Cancer rising, then the connection revolves around emotional dependency and emotional depth but the connection will be very unsteady and unpredictable.
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6th house synastry (BENEFIC PLACEMENTS) is actually so so fun and beautiful, both the individuals love spending time with each other. The planet person brings a lot of new things to the life of the house person, especially if Uranus is there.
The house person usually shows their affection through Acts of Service, like opening the door for you, letting you take a seat first, helping you carry your bags, helping you learn something, making you cookies, etc.
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Saturn in sexual houses (5th,8th, or 12th), Inner planets in Capricorn or Aquarius, or Saturn's connection with those house lords definitely is an indicator that chains, being tied up, tying up their partner, being put on their knees or putting their partner on their knees, their sexual discipline being tested by their partner or them testing their partners sexual discipline, etc are all part of the natives kinks and desires in bed.
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Moon in Capricorn or Aquarius or 10th/11th house can also have, being tied up, chained and having their discipline tested by their partner be a huge turn on and desire for them, in bed. When I say discipline, I mean them obeying their partner when their partner tells them not to cum to test if they would listen to them, stuff like that.
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Is it me or are all Aquarius Sun or Moon very very slow in responding to texts most of the time? Like personally, I am so tired of answering texts and I spend so much time doing nothing instead of answering them lmao.
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Is anyone else not just a particular zodiac sign by birth but also has both their inner planets, Sun and Moon in their birth Zodiac? Comment down if you do, cuz I am an AQUARIUS Sun and Moon and I am born and AQUARIAN. If you checked my blood with a microscope, you'd find Aquarius written all over hahahaha 😂🙌.
If yes, then you purely behave like that zodiac sign, even if you have a Day chart or Night chart.
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The driest texters possible on planet Earth are Aquarius Saturn or 11th house Saturn. They are the natives who text short or take a long time to text back. Most of the time they read messages but don't respond back. These natives, most of the time, prefer offline conversation over online texting.
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You can't deny this, Moon in 11th house or Aquarius individuals are amazing at sexting. It's in their blood to naturally turn their partner on with just a few flirty texts. These natives like sexting too because they like making their their partner imagine what they would do with them and not do it with them for real lol. Perfect illusion 🤫😂.
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Taurus placements or 2nd house placements (esp. Stellium) love Desert's and chocolate. They love waffles and donuts and stuff like that. These placements love eating food in general and if you judge them for it, they'll eat you too😂🤫 jkjk.
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I've observed that a person with Exalted Mars or developed Mars has a good spice tolerance while Debilitated Mars or underdeveloped Mars has quite a weak spice tolerance. Other Mars placements and signs have an average spice tolerance.
My sister has Mars in Taurus in the 3rd house and she LOVES spicy food, like she wants the level of spice that would make her tounge fall off lol 🔥😭. While one of my friend has underdeveloped Scorpio Mars in 2nd house and he cannot tolerate spice AT ALL.
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Uranus in the 12th house will most definitely cause sleeping issues. Why? Most people say, it's because it's underdeveloped in this house but I think Uranus is a very active planet, a planet that only keeps moving and jumping here and there.
In my head, I see Uranus as this young kindergarten boy who's hyperactive and can't decide what he wants for sure. So when you Uranus sits in the 12th house, a house of mental and subconscious work, a house where planets are deserted and left in the fog, a house where there's more subconscious work than physical, Uranus get's frustrated and suppressed here.
It's like expecting the child to relax and observe instead of jumping so much. Well, Uranus is also a rebel so he will try his level best to go against this house which will affect the native. How? The native will have a very wavering subconscious, always thinking and thinking, about something or the other. Even in the native's sleep, the native is made to see his/her future events, further making the subconscious work even more than it should.
Uranus will disrupt the mental peace and subconscious of the native, making the native constantly analyze every detail of events and dreams in their life. These natives find it hard to rest in their sleep because their astral body is very active and roams everywhere during their sleep causing the native to wake up tired.
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Thankyou for reading through this today, I hope you have a wonderful day ahead. I am forever grateful for all your love and support.
#spirituality#spiritualawakening#spiritual enlightenment#witchery#astro community#witchy#astroblr#astrology observations#witch community#astrology notes#natal astrology#astrology#birth chart#astro notes#astrology placements#astrology signs#astrology community#astrology blog#astrology readings#astro placements#astro observations#natal chart#astro tumblr#astro posts#witch craft#witchcraft#witchblr#witches#witchcore#witchy vibes
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truth serum
🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. When you’d taken this job as a handler, it hadn’t been a babysitting gig. You’d signed on to work with Seungcheol because he was supposed to be one of the best agents… supposed to be. There’d been a time, three months ago, when he’d completed a job with flying colors. The two of you had celebrated at a hotel in Paris after the success, and after two bottles of champagne, you’d actually thought you were starting to get to know the guy. But whatever inklings of a gentleman you’d seen that night had disappeared soon after, and things have been up in the air ever since. His man whoring ways are at an all-time high, and his judgment has been questionable, to say the least. Now he’s gone and gotten himself captured, and you can’t help but fear the worst.
tw/cw. Seungcheol gets truth-serumed and a little beat up, unprotected sex, dirty talk, dominant Seungcheol, power dynamics, praise, one hint of degradation that’s quickly squashed, breast/nipple play, fingering, oral, foreplay in the kitchen, bdsm subthemes, spanking as a punishment, pain kink, multiple reader orgasms, creampie/fullness kink, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey. (his) angel eyes.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.6k
🍭 aus. Secret agent au, handler reader, coworker au, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. Thank you for being patient with me this month on my svt posting for June! My birthday is on the 25th and your smiley has been busy- so grateful I could get this out, even without a teaser post :) I don't know anything about actual secret agents, but this was a fun fanfic idea I had and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did :)
“I’m just going to go talk to her.”
You hate how nonchalant Seungcheol sounds, hate how easily he can be swayed by pretty women, even while out on jobs. It’s your responsibility to keep him in check, the little angel on his shoulder, and in his ear. “Don’t do it,” you warn him.
“Her husband’s the target, from what I’ve seen, she’s harmless,” the agent counters.
“How easily swayed you are by pretty women, and need I remind you this isn’t the first time you’ve let a person of interest’s wife become your focus.”
“Careful, Honey, for a moment there it sounded like you were jealous.”
You’re watching Seungcheol through the casino’s live footage, a stream you’d easily hacked for the operation at hand. He’s leaning against the bar, all suave in dress pants and a white button-up that he’s left open just enough to show his prominent chest-
“That’s your third drink,” you note, changing the topic, “don’t let it cloud your judgment, Angel Eyes.”
“We both know I can hold my liquor,” Seungcheol insists, raising his glass and sending a wink toward the camera before he downs the Old Fashioned. “I’m just going to go talk to her, she could give good intel.”
You let out a deep sigh. Sometimes, being Seungcheol’s handler can be a pain in the ass. Does he ever listen to you? Not usually. Does he get the job done, though? Most of the time.
“Trust me,” Seungcheol says, voice lowering. “I’m not going to do what you think I’m going to do.”
You roll your eyes, leaning back in your chair while you scan the screens in front of you. “Seduce her James Bond style and compromise this entire thing?”
“Maybe only half of that.”
God, he’s such a womanizer, but with a face like his, and the perks that come with his job, he can afford to be.
“If this goes sideways, don’t expect me to bail you out of it.” you warn him.
“Honey, bailing me out is your job.”
You hate it when Seungcheol goes out of your visuals, and entering a hotel room with a target’s wife was not on the itinerary tonight. For the first ten minutes, you’d sat anxiously, listening in on his smooth-talking, when the woman had suggested they take things to the bedroom, part of you had wondered if you should call this whole thing off and let Seungcheol do what he always does: fuck the hot wife and sort things out later.
But when you hear a male voice, and a startled, “Who is this?” from Seungcheol, you’re glad you’d stayed anxiously glued to your computer.
A faint, “Friend of my husband,” said in a nonchalant female tone, sets you off immediately, and you’re grabbing your phone to get backup support before you can even think.
You try to take deep breaths while you listen to what sounds like a fight taking place on Seungcheol’s end, and suddenly, the wire goes dead. Now, there are no sounds, only the racing of your own heart and the blood rushing through you.
“What’s going on?” Your supervisor's voice makes you jump, and you turn to see Jeonghan standing there with Hansol, another handler.
“Cheol made a move on his target’s wife, went back to her room, but the wife brought friends. The wire is dead.”
“Fuck,” Jeonghan groans, “This is the third time this has happened to him.”
“I tried reminding him of that,” you say, your voice raising with anxiety.
Hansol offers you a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. He takes care of an agent named Seungkwan, and while Seungkwan gets into his own messes, he’s not the type to go after married women in the middle of a job.
Jeonghan’s leaning over your computer now, and he brings up the map tracker you have on Seungcheol. “I’m sending this location to another agent we have in the area,” he tells you, quickly taking the reigns of the fuck up that’s just happened.
“It’s Wonwoo, isn’t it?” you sigh. “It’s always Wonwoo cleaning up Seungcheol’s messes.”
“Yes, it’s Wonwoo,” Jeonghan admits. “We made sure he’d be in the wings tonight in case something like this happened.”
“God, this isn’t good-” you groan.
“No,” Jeonghan responds, “It’s not. After tonight I’ll have to have a serious talk with Seungcheol, and a serious talk with you about reassignment if we decide Seungcheol is a liability.”
Your heart lurches in your chest.
When you’d taken this job as a handler, it hadn’t been a babysitting gig. You’d signed on to work with Seungcheol because he was supposed to be one of the best agents… supposed to be. There’d been a time, three months ago, when he’d completed a job with flying colors. The two of you had celebrated at a hotel in Paris after the success, and after two bottles of champagne, you’d actually thought you were starting to get to know the guy. But whatever inklings of a gentleman you’d seen that night had disappeared soon after, and things have been up in the air ever since. His man whoring ways are at an all-time high, and his judgment has been questionable, to say the least. Now he’s gone and gotten himself captured, and you can’t help but fear the worst.
After a harrowing two hours, you find yourself in the med section of the agency compound. Wonwoo is stationed outside of Seungcheol’s room, and he stands straighter as you approach. “Hey, Honey,” he says, using your codename even though there’s really no reason for it right now.
“Wonwoo- how is he?” You anxiously look toward the door Wonwoo is guarding with his body.
Although you’d been connected to the whole ‘rescue Seungcheol operation,’ you’re still buzzing with anxiety. It’s unexplainable, and definitely bordering on unacceptable given the line of work you’re in, but damn it, you can’t help but care for the man you handle every day.
“Jeonghan’s with him right now,” Wonwoo responds smoothly.
Your heart thunders even louder in your ribcage. Jeonghan had mentioned Seungcheol being a liability- is he getting fired right now?
Part of you aches to be with him, to defend his stupid behaviour- but you know it’s not your place, besides, what would you even say? You’d told Seungcheol not to go after the target’s wife, and he’d done it anyway, which shows a lack of regard for handler instructions.
Seungcheol has become a liability, and you hate that things have come to this.
“What do you think is going to happen?” you ask.
Wonwoo shrugs. “That’s above my paygrade.”
He’s awfully stoic, even for a spy, and while it can be intriguing at times, right now, his deflections only frustrate you more.
You let out a sigh. “What if I asked you to guess what’s going to happen?”
Wonwoo looks at you for a moment. “I’d guess Seungcheol will be put on a break.”
“A break,” you repeat. “Like… a permanent one?”
The spy can only shrug again, a nonchalant motion that’s way too disinterested for your liking.
Jeonghan’s been trying to talk you into working as Wonwoo’s handler for a while now, and although you know Wonwoo would be much less of a hassle than Seungcheol, you can’t bare to tear yourself away from the spy whose messes you’ve been helping clean up for over a year.
Despite Seungcheol’s massive ego, and his magnetic attraction toward trouble, there’s something about him that makes you want to care for him. Sure, he never listens, especially when you give him advice about women, but Seungcheol has a certain something about him- something that you won’t give up easily.
Before you can talk further with Wonwoo, the med room door opens and Jeonghan steps out. He lets out a deep sigh, crossing his arms over his chest.
You hold your breath, waiting for your boss to give you instructions.
“This is a shit show,” Jeonghan says finally.
Neither you nor Wonwoo verbally agree with him, but brief eyecontact between the two of you makes it known what you’re both thinking.
Jeonghan addresses you next. “I’m guessing you want to go in there and talk to him.”
You can only nod.
“Look, it might not be the best idea, but fuck it.” Jeonghan uncrosses his arms, looking at you with a steady expression. “They gave Seungcheol some kind of truth serum. I don’t know how long it will be in effect, but I do know he’s vulnerable right now. I probably shouldn’t let you in there- but… I’m just going to walk down the hall to get a coffee, and if you happen to slip through the door then so be it. I didn’t see anything, and since Wonwoo is coming with me, he didn’t either.”
You stare in shock for a moment, unsure what to say. There’s nothing to be said, and when Jeonghan dispurses, Wonwoo is quick to follow.
You turn to the door, and after a deep breath, you slip inside the med room.
Seungcheol is lying in a hospital bed. His lip is battered and there’s a blossoming purple bruise around his left brow, but other than that, he looks remarkably well.
“Honey?” He sits up when you enter, eyes widening in shock.
“Cheol-” Your voice cracks as you take the seat next to the bed, and while part of you wants to reach for his hand, you hold yourself back.
“I’m sorry,” he says immediately, and those are two words you’ve never heard from him before. “You were right… about the wife.”
“That’s not important right now,” you sigh.
“It is. You’re my handler, and I didn’t listen to you, and that was wrong. If I had listened, we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.”
You study him. You know he’s vulnerable, Jeonghan said as much, and with a truth serum impeding his ability to lie or evade questions, you want to be careful- but you also want answers, answers that you can only truly get right now.
“Why’d you do it?” you ask finally. “This time, and all the other times. You always go after the women, and I thought it was because you found it easy- seduction is what you’re good at, but- I don’t understand how you don’t see how dangerous it is.”
“Honey-”
“They’re thinking about reassigning me to Wonwoo, and before that happens, I just need to know why, Cheol. When you have the potential to be the best agent in this company, why are you always so ready to jump ship and fuck any rich married woman even though you know it will fuck everything up?”
“They can’t reassign you to Wonwoo!” Seungcheol sits up abruptly, and the heart rate monitor next to him beeps a sign of warning at his increasing pulse.
“They can do whatever they want, you should be worried about your own job. You don’t even listen to me as your handler half the time, maybe you should be with someone you actually respect.”
“I respect you,” Seungcheol blurts out.
“It doesn’t feel like you do.”
“I do,” he insists. “I-” Seungcheol’s voice cracks. “I get with women to distract myself.”
“Distractions in this line of work can be fatal.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he snaps, making you go silent. “Maybe I have a death wish.”
“Cheol-”
“Stop calling me Cheol.”
“Stop calling me Honey.”
“No.”
You glare at him, anger bubbling and inspiring you to dive deeper into your questioning, despite the fact that you know this isn’t a morally good idea. “Why do you need a distraction?”
“Because you’re a distraction. Your voice in my ear- it distracts me.”
“Maybe reassignment is a good idea.”
“You’re not being reassigned.” Seungcheol’s voice is practically a growl, and you’ve never seen this side of him.
“Why not?”
His expression breaks. “Because I need you.”
“You clearly don’t.”
“I do,” he insists. “I know I’m not good at showing it- but I do, I need you.”
“Cheol-”
“Honey.”
“Tell me why.”
“Because-” Seungcheol lets out a sigh, and he punches at the hospital bed. “Look, I’m scared, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Scared of what?”
“Of falling for you.”
“Huh?” Now you’re confused. You’re staring at this lady killer agent, the sexiest man you’ve ever met, and you can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “But- all the women you go after-”
“Distractions from you, from the voice in my head.” Seungcheol swallows thickly. “That night in Paris…”
Your heart lurches in your chest, and you hold your breath for the next words about to leave him.
“That night- fuck, I’ve never met someone like you before. I’ve never felt-” he bites at his lip, and you wince, knowing it must hurt to put pressure on the wound there. “I got with those other women to try to convince myself that I didn’t need you. I didn’t need your guidance, I didn’t need your care, I didn’t need you- but… I do need you.” Seungcheol meets your gaze. “I’ve needed you more than I’ve ever needed anyone, and it scares me.”
Aside from the heart rate monitor beeping through the room, you swear you could hear a pin drop as you stare at Seungcheol, trying to register everything he’s just said.
“I-”
“It’s my turn to ask a question now,” Seungcheol says. “How do you feel about me?”
“I think…” You swallow thickly. “I never understood why I stayed working with you after everything, but… maybe I understand now. Maybe I need you too.”
“Maybe?” Seungcheol flashes you a sexy smirk, and it makes you look away, hating how he makes you feel, hating how inappropriate this whole thing is.
“I’m definitely going to have to be reassigned now,” you tell him.
“What? Why?”
“You know why. This,” you point between the two of you, “this has been the liability the whole time. We’re the liability, Cheol.”
He sits and thinks about it for a moment. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” You let out a laugh.
“Just… don’t work with Wonwoo, okay?”
“Why not?” You can’t help but laugh at the request.
“Because I think he’s into you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first,” you tease, standing up so you can sit on the bed, wanting to be closer to Seungcheol. “Besides,” you pinch at his chin, inspecting the wounds on his face, “Wonwoo might actually listen to me.”
“Honey,” Seungcheol slaps your hand away, instead grabbing at the back of your neck to bring your lips dangerously close to his, “don’t test me right now.”
“Or what?”
He lets out a shaky breath, his gaze dipping down to your lips. “Jeonghan’s putting me on a two-week mental health break or some shit, this isn’t even a question of ‘or what’ anymore. While I’m on leave, I’m going to fuck you stupid. I’m going to make it so you can’t even leave the fucking bed. I’m going to show you that I’m not the kind of man who receives instructions, I give them. Think you can handle it?”
God, your core is throbbing from his words alone, and you can’t muster up any for yourself. You can only nod, staring at the beautiful, bruised, stubborn man in front of you.
“You should get out of here before I bend you over this fucking bed and get us both fired.” Seungcheol releases you, leaning back to put distance between your lips.
“Do you think you’ll be released tonight?” you ask, voice quiet.
“Are you that eager to see what I’m made of, honey?” Seungcheol lets out a laugh.
“Maybe.”
“Yes, I think I’ll be out of here soon, after this stupid serum wears off. You know, this whole interrogating me while I’m vulnerable thing isn’t going to go unpunished.”
“I hope you do your worst,” you challenge him.
The agent scoffs, shaking his head. “You’re trouble.”
“Hypocrite,” you grin, standing and heading to the door. “Call me when you’re out, then you can take me home.”
You’re waiting by Seungcheol’s car in the parking garage when he comes out of the elevator. He’s dressed in black dress pants and the same white button-up he’d been wearing hours earlier. The collar is speckled with blood, the buttons undone to reveal his broad chest- his suit jacket is held in a fist, and he’s never looked sexier.
He doesn’t say anything as he approaches, closing the distance between the two of you. His hand finds your cheek, and his eyes stare into your own, your lips only inches apart. Then, he’s kissing you for the first time, a desperate, needy kiss that sets your entire body on fire.
You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, pressing your chest flush to his own. Your mouth opens instinctively, accepting the tongue that strokes by your teeth.
Seungcheol’s hand moves down to your ass, and he squeezes you roughly, pushing you back against the black jeep wrangler he’s been driving recently. The motion has you moaning against his lips, and Seungcheol breaks the kiss with a grin. His forehead rests against your own, and you both struggle to catch your breath.
“Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he tells you.
“Me too,” you admit, swallowing thickly. “So… your place?”
“My place,” he confirms, reaching behind you to open the door to his car. He grabs your hand to help you up into the tanked-out jeep, then gently shuts the door behind you.
Your heart is racing. You can’t believe you’re actually doing this.
A couple of hours ago, you’d feared the worst, and now, you desperately need good, dirty, wet sex with Seungcheol to take your mind off the anxiety that’s still coursing through you.
“So,” you clear your throat as he pulls out of the parking garage, “did you talk to Jeonghan?”
Seungcheol laughs, reaching to hold your hand while he drives. “Yes, I talked to Jeonghan.”
“Did you mention me?”
“I mentioned you a lot. Mentioned you the first time he came in to talk. He asked the same kinds of questions you did, turns out you’re the only one who was completely oblivious to the way I felt about you.”
“Well… I mean… you’re the agent, not me. Figuring out secrets is your job, I just do handler stuff.” Your skin heats at the idea that others saw his affection for you, but you’d been so blind.
“He agrees that this thing between us, whatever it is, it’s the liability, not either of us alone. He’s putting me on rest, like I said, and when you’re up for it, he’d like to reassign you to some new hire, this wizz kid named Dino or something.”
Although you know reassignment is the best thing in this situation, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Can you really trust someone else to be Seungcheol’s handler? God, you’re feeling downright territorial of this man already-
“Yeah, I’m not too happy about it either,” Seungcheol sighs, rubbing his thumb along your hand. “Some new kid getting you in his ear- he better not fall in love with you.”
“Did you fall in love with me?” you ask.
“Truth serum has worn off, honey,” Seungcheol grins, grinning and bringing your hand to his lips. “But yes, as cliche and stupid as it sounds, I did. And don’t worry, you don’t have to say it back, I know you were all hot and bothered by me too.”
You scoff loudly.
“What was it you said earlier? I ‘find seduction easy’? Don’t pretend we’re not in the same boat here, honey.”
“God, I hate you.” You try to tear your hand away from him but he’s unrelenting.
“Liar. You love me. Love me so much you’re going to let me rearrange your guts.”
“Don’t be so vulgar,” you chastise him.
Seungcheol casts you a sideways glance. “You’re not my handler anymore, you don’t get to tell me what to do.”
Your pussy throbs at his words. The dynamic between the two of you has always been a push-pull. You were supposed to be the one giving orders, but it never felt… correct. You’d bet your life that soon, when Seungcheol has you pressed to his bed, whispering all sorts of dirty commands in your ear- well, you have no doubts that will feel more natural.
“As dominant as you like to pretend you are as a handler, I think we both know you’d rather be the submissive,” Seungcheol points out. “I can’t wait to see how good you’ll be for me.”
“Cheol-”
“Look at you, honey, a little dirty talk and you’re already a blabbering mess. Can’t find the words, can you?”
“Fuck.”
“You’re adorable,” he grins, shaking his head a little. “You’ll be good for me, I know you will be.”
You’re kissing Cheol the moment you get into his penthouse- or… is he kissing you? It’s hard to tell who moved first, all you know is that one thing leads to another and suddenly he’s hoisting you onto a kitchen counter, his hands already unbuttoning your pants.
You break your heated kiss to take a breath, looking up at the ceiling while he quickly attaches his lips to your neck. “Cheol- this is going a bit fast.”
“Is it?” He tugs your pants down, grinning against your throat. “Do you want me to slow down?”
His thumb finds your clit through your panties and you let out a whimper, clinging onto his strong shoulders.
You can’t even think right now, especially not when he begins to draw small circles against your sensitive bud, pulling away from you so he can watch your face. You open your eyes to look at him, loving the intensity in his expression.
“Tell me to slow down,” he says.
You take a breath, trying to process his words. They’d sounded like a command, so, begrudgingly, you whisper, “Slow down.”
“Too bad, I don’t listen to what you tell me to do, remember?”
He’s such a shit-
A shit that gets onto his knees to immediately burry his face between your thighs, tugging your panties to the side roughly so his tongue can make direct contact with your already throbbing pussy.
“Fuck, Cheol-” you whimper loudly, threading your fingers through his silky dark hair, your legs already shaking around his head.
“Been thinking about what you’d taste like,” Seungcheol muses, pressing a sloppy kiss to your inner thigh. “Knew your pussy would be perfect for me.”
God, his words are getting to you, your mind completely blank of a comeback as Seungcheol dives back into his task, his lips wrapping harshly around your clit.
All you can do is gasp and whine for him, writhing on his kitchen counter while he works you closer and closer to an orgasm with his tongue alone.
When he pulls away to drag two fingers up your slit, your body tenses in anticipation.
“Relax,” Seungcheol chuckles, looking up at you with that handsome grin of his, “It’s only me, honey. You’re comfortable with me…” he pushes his digits into your core, cocking a brow, “right?”
“Yes, fuck-”
“Yes, what?” He crooks his fingers, hitting your gspot and making you cry out.
“Yes, I’m comfortable with you!” you belt out, falling back onto the table so you don’t have to hold yourself up anymore. You want to feel everything he’s giving you- want him to have your full focus.
“Good girl. I think you deserve a reward for admitting that, don’t you?”
You can feel Seungcheol’s breath on your clit while he pumps his fingers, abusing the sweet spot that already has you close to the edge.
“Yeah, yes- I deserve a reward-”
Seungcheol pulls away abruptly, landing a slap to your pussy that has you squealing, your thighs closing around his hand. Your eyes snap open and you stare at him in shock.
“That sounded like a command, honey,” Seungcheol says, prying your legs apart. “Thought we agreed I’d be in charge tonight, and you know I hate being told what to do.”
“I-” you swallow thickly. “Please? Please let me cum?”
“Let you cum?” he taunts, thumb finding your clit but not applying nearly enough pressure.
“Please… make me cum?” you suggest, wanting - more than anything - to say the right thing for him.
“Because you asked so nicely.” Seungcheol flashes you a wink, and then his fingers are slipping into your wet core again, picking up where he left off. His lips return to your clit, which is practically buzzing from the slap, and before you even know it, he has you at the edge.
“Please make me cum,” you whimper desperately. “Fuck, I’m so close- please make me cum, I’ve tried to be a good girl for you- please-”
He hums a sound of confirmation, and the buzzing vibration on your clit is enough to get you there. Your pussy clamps down hard on his fingers, your back arching as waves of pleasure surge through you. Your toes curl against his broad shoulders, sounds leaving you uncensored as you fill his apartment with cries of relief.
You’re throbbing, your pussy practically dripping at this point, but Seungcheol doesn’t let up. Even when you tug on his hair to try to pull him away, he refuses to move. He finger fucks you and sucks on your clit, ignoring the way your thighs close around him, working you through your high all the way until the end.
Seungcheol finally relents when your pussy stops contracting around him, and you let out a massive sigh when he pulls away. You can feel his eyes on you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him yet, not when you’re still feeling the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm.
You feel him begin to unbutton your shirt and his lips find the swell of your breasts as soon as it’s open. He’s soft in his kisses, gentle, tender even. “Have you come back down to earth yet, honey?” he asks, nuzzling up to your throat.
“Yeah- that was just, really good,” you let out a small laugh, threading your fingers through his hair to keep him tucked to your chest.
“That was just the appetizer, you still haven’t had the main course.”
“God, you’re so-”
“So what?” he teases. “Handsome? Charming? Lovable?”
“Sure of yourself,” you breathe.
“Let me show you something,” he prompts, reaching for your hand. He pulls away from your chest to stand up straight again, guiding your fingers to the front of his pants. His cock is straining against the fabric, and you open your eyes to see Seungcheol grinning when you gasp at how large he is. “When a man has a cock like mine, he can afford to be sure of himself.”
You shiver at his words, and it makes Seungcheol laugh. “Come on, let me take you to bed.”
He hauls you up before throwing you over his shoulder, landing a gentle spank on your ass.
“Remember when I told you I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to leave the bed?” Seungcheol prompts as he tosses you onto the mattress. “You better get comfy, honey.”
“I think…” you feel your daring side beginning to surface, eyes dipping to watch Seungcheol’s skilled fingers unbuttoning his dress shirt, “I think I also remember something about you telling me my truth serum interrogation wouldn’t go unpunished.”
The agent pauses, a huge grin spreading across his face. “You’re cute, honey.”
“Yeah?” You reach behind your body, undoing the clasp of your bra and letting it slip to the wayside. “How so?”
Seungcheol’s pupils dilate, his eyes becoming dark, lustful pools.
He doesn’t bother to answer your question, shrugging his shirt off before leaning over you, his hands pressing into the bed to box you in while his lips find yours. It’s a needy kiss, his tongue gliding out to meet your own, but you don’t mind at all.
You cup his face, moaning against him, fingers teasing over his strong shoulders.
Seungcheol is built, even for an agent. Certain men who work with you have leaner physiques, and Seungcheol is not one of them. He’s all big and broad, with lines of muscle that you could trace for hours if given the chance.
His lips begin to trail down to your throat, and you let out a whimper of anticipation when his breath fans across your pebbled nipples.
However, when he gets to your breasts, Seungcheol avoids sucking on the most sensitive spots. He looks up at you, grinning. “I think it’s time for that punishment now.”
“Yeah?” You can’t help the excitement that bubbles through you.
“I want you on your knees, ass up, and take off your panties while you’re at it.”
You know what’s coming when you follow through with the command. The cool air in the room feels nice on your newly exposed, hot core, and you make a show of everything, arching your back.
You can hear Seungcheol let out a deep breath, his hands ghosting over your ass.
“If this hurts too much, let me know.”
“Do your worst,” you counter, wiggling your hips and resting your face against the bed sheets, exhaling deeply in preparation.
You expect a harsh smack, but instead, Seungcheol presses a soft kiss to your right cheek. “I’m punishing you because you took advantage, you know that, right?”
“Uh huh, part of me knew I was being bad interrogating you while you were truth-serumed, but part of me needed to know what your answers would be.”
“Between us, I’m glad you asked the questions you did, or you might not be in my bed right now.”
“I’m glad too,” you confess. “Now, come on Angel Eyes, punish me.”
“I love a woman who takes what she deserves with grace.”
“After this, I deserve your cock.”
“Do you now?” Seungcheol lets out an amused chuckle, grabbing your ass with both hands and squeezing.
“Maybe you deserve my pussy,” you muse thoughtfully.
“Now that’s something I can definitely get behind,” he agrees. “Count these out for me, honey, I’ll give you ten.”
The first smack makes you recoil in surprise, the sound flooding your senses before the sharp pain that blossoms across your skin.
“One,” you announce, balling your hands into the bed sheets.
“How did that feel?” he asks, gently smoothing his palm across the still-burning flesh.
“Good.”
The next hit is a little harder and it makes you whimper, but you do your best to stay steady, unmoving, ready to take what you deserve. “Two.”
Three and four come on your other cheek, and you’re thankful for the reprieve, but smack number five returns to the first side he’d battered, and it stings even more now. However, it’s a pleasantly hot sensation, and your core throbs knowing you’re halfway through your punishment, all the more close to your reward.
“You look like you’re enjoying this too much,” Seungcheol muses, groping your ass again, squeezing hard enough to hurt.
“Maybe I am,” you tell him, looking over your shoulder at the agent.
He grins down at you, lifting a hand- your body flinches involuntarily, and Seungcheol’s smile widens. “Getting sensitive already, huh?”
“Yes,” you admit.
The next slap lands on your pussy, something you hadn’t been expecting, and a squeal of delight erupts out of you at the sensation on your clit.
“You liked that, didn’t you?” Seungcheol asks.
“Uh huh,” you nod, clenching the bed sheets even tighter.
“How's your clit feeling after one orgasm?” he prompts, thumb finding the sensitive bud and rubbing it in small circles.
“Feels so good,” you whimper.
“You’re practically dripping, honey, didn’t take you for a pain slut.”
“Be nice,” you chastise him.
“Oh?”
Another smack lands on your ass and you dutifully call out “Six.”
“You don’t like being called a little pain slut?” he asks.
“No,” you shake your head. “Please call me nice things.”
“Okay, honey, I can do that,” he concedes, and the next spank isn’t as hard as the last. “You’re being so good for me. We’re almost done.”
“Can’t wait for you to fuck me, I’ve been waiting so long-”
“We’ll get there,” Seungcheol promises, leaning down to press a kiss to your lower back. When he pulls away, number “Eight” comes quickly thereafter.
Your skin is buzzing with anticipation now, and you’re nearly writhing against the bed, but you do your best to be as still as possible while Seungcheol completes this punishment focused foreplay.
After smack number nine, you hear Seungcheol undo his belt, and it takes everything inside of you not to turn around and get a good look at his cock.
He smacks his length gently against your ass, and you let out a small, “Ten?”
He laughs. “No, honey, this is ten.”
The sound of the slap echoes through his room, the hardest of them all so far, and you release a strangled cry, your ass on fire from where he’d hit you.
“That was the pain, now here’s the pleasure.” He rubs his cock through your wet folds, and slips the tip inside, stretching you out wonderfully. The sensation distracts from your sore bum, and your whimper becomes a moan as he drives deeper and deeper into you. “Tell me you like it.”
“I love it,” you blurt, already pushing back toward him in an effort to feel everything.
You’re not sure how big he is, only that he’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, but after the tension of your punishment, and the orgasm before that, your pussy greedily swallows up everything he has to give until he’s flush to your still stinging ass.
“Fuck,” Seungcheol cusses, gently grabbing at your hips. “How’s that feel?”
“I feel so full,” you tell him, pussy fluttering around his cock.
“I’ll make you feel fuller,” he promises.
“Yeah?”
“You’re on birth control?”
“Uh huh.”
“Then I’ll definitely fill you up, mark this pussy as all mine, are you okay with that?”
“More than okay with it,” you moan.
“That’s my good girl,” Seungcheol praises you, beginning to thrust.
“Fuck-” you whimper, loving the feeling of his cock dragging along your inner walls.
Your eyes are closed, your focus entirely on Seungcheol as he starts to fuck you, rougher and rougher until his balls are slapping against your clit with each motion.
“Your pussy feels so good,” he tells you, grip tightening on your hips. “It’s like you were made for me, honey.”
The idea causes a visceral reaction, your entire body thrumming with pleasure. You can only moan in response, beginning to move back so you can meet each one of his thrusts.
“And this ass-” One of Seungcheol’s hands moves to cup your sensitive flesh, making you groan even louder. “Fucking perfect. Rub your clit for me, want you to cum again.”
Your hand is shaky as you bring it between your legs, finding your sensitive clit. Your core clenches desperately around Seungcheol and he lets out a deep moan of appreciation.
“That’s my good girl, being so good for me. So good at taking orders.”
You can’t help but let out a small laugh. It’s as if things were always meant to be this way, you were meant to let him be in control, not the other way around. This feels so much more natural than you telling him what to do ever did.
“Don’t laugh,” Seungcheol chastises you, fucking you even harder. “I’m trying to be nice to you, like you wanted.”
“I just-” you groan when his cock slams into your gspot. “It was never supposed to be me telling you what to do.”
“I’m glad we agree on something,” Seungcheol muses, his motions slowing ever so slightly. “Fuck this, I want to see you.”
He pulls out of your pussy, flipping you onto your back. The contact of the bed against your ass makes you groan, but the sight of Seungcheol’s perfect body looming over you has you distracted less than a moment later.
His cock is big… cut, curving slightly to the left, with a prominent vein that you want to trace with your tongue-
He presses the head of his length to your pussy, easing himself into you while he positions you in missionary. When he’s fully inside of you again, he meets your gaze, then he looks down at your lips.
“You’re so pretty like this,” he whispers before pressing his mouth to yours.
You grab at his strong shoulders, getting lost in the kiss as he begins to fuck you again, the whole bed shaking with the power of his thrusts.
You’ve never made sounds like this in bed before. You’re moaning like a whore, but Seungcheol eats up every whimper, his tongue gliding against your own.
Your fingers thread through his hair, keeping him close as he fucks you closer and closer to the edge.
The agent pulls away, breathing heavily. “I can feel you clenching, honey, gonna cum again?”
“Gonna cum on your big cock,” you tell him.
“Yeah?”
One of his hands slips between your bodies, fingers applying pressure to your clit.
You whimper loudly, back arching off the bed. Seungcheol takes the opportunity to finally draw your nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing over the sensitive bud.
You gasp, body on fire from all the wonderful sensations. “I’m so close-” you tell him.
“Then cum for me,” he murmurs, rubbing your clit even harder. “Cum on my cock.”
It only takes a few more seconds for you to follow through with his command, the cord snapping in your stomach as your release takes over. Your pussy clamps down on Seungcheol, and when he lets out a groan, you know your body is milking him for every drop of cum that he has.
His thrusts have become sloppier, more erratic, deeper- and each one has him kissing your cervix, which is a delightful feeling.
You hold him to your breast through your high, and he diligently sucks on your nipple, fucking you until he can’t fuck you anymore.
Finally, Seungcheol slumps down against you, applying some of his weight over you like a weighted blanket.
He’s panting hard against your breasts, cheek pressed to the center of your chest.
“Your heart is going wild, honey,” he muses after a moment.
All you can do is laugh, unable to find the words just yet after the power of your release.
Instead, you stroke his hair, and Seungcheol lets out a murmured moan, nuzzling closer to you. “I do love you, you know.”
“I know.”
He chuckles. “You aren’t going to say it back?”
“Take me on a date first,” you tease.
“Tomorrow, if you can still walk, I’ll take you out.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.” He presses a kiss to your sternum. “If you can’t walk, I’ll bring the date to you.”
“How romantic,” you say sarcastically.
“Don’t start with me, honey,” he warns.
“I’m not starting anything,” you defend yourself with a giggle.
He looks up at you, eyes sparkling. “Sure you’re not.”
You lean down to kiss him gently, loving how domestic this whole thing has turned. But of course, ever the sex fiend, Seungcheol quickly ruins it. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll fuck you again.”
You can’t help but shake your head. “You promise?”
“If you’re going to talk back like this, make it five.”
He’s such a fuck, but you kind of love him.
☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I know recently I've been doing a lot of short and sweet fics, hoping for a longer one next month :)
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🔮 preview. “We tried letting you be in control,” he responds, pushing your legs together as he straddles you from behind. “It wasn’t as fun as me being in control though."
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, dom/sub themes, powerplays, Seungcheol tries to be a little submissive, he’s not great at following directions, dirty talk, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, blow job, mention of deep throating, nipple play/nipple pinching, creamipie, cumming together, etc… I petnames. (hers) honey
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.2k I teaser wc. 175
🌙 starring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader
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“Hey, big guy,” you grin as you enter the apartment, eyes finding Seungcheol sitting on the living room couch. “How was your day?”
He pauses his show to look at you, flashing a tired smile. “It was okay.”
“Yikes,” you immediately go to join him on the couch, cuddling up to his side. “The new handler still being a bit of a dick?”
“Joshua was hand-picked by Jeonghan, it’s not like I can do anything about it,” Seungcheol sighs. “How about you, still enjoying the wizz kid?”
“Dino’s a good one,” you insist. “He follows instruction very well.”
Seungcheol scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“You still jealous that I’m in his ear and not yours?” you tease, poking your boyfriend’s chest.
“Don’t go there, honey,” he warns.
“Come on- it could be fun. I think having someone who listens well has built my confidence… you know, we could try it out a little, if you want.”
“You want me to be submissive?” Seungcheol’s brows raise in a sort of shocked amusement. “Not a chance in hell.”
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Old, In Love, and Annoying // Leah Williamson
a/n : so sorry i haven’t been consistent with my posting, life’s stressful at the moment, but here’s a cute fic i whipped up.
warnings : pregnant!r, one sexual joke i think
“I’m literally trying to cook,” you muttered, nudging her with your elbow.
“And I’m literally trying to love you,” Leah replied, resting her chin on your shoulder. “Dunno why you’re being so difficult.”
“You’re being clingy,” you said, though you didn’t actually try to move away.
“Babe, I have to be clingy,” Leah said, her hands rubbing over your belly. “Our baby’s in here, and they need to know I’m their favorite already.”
“Oh yeah?” you snorted. “Natalie’s gonna be fuming if this one comes out preferring you. She’s already convinced you’re corrupting them from the womb.”
“Sounds like a her problem,” Leah said smugly, pressing a kiss to your neck.
Before you could reply, your teenage daughter’s voice rang out from the other room.
“Mum! Mummy! Can you please stop being gross in the kitchen?”
Leah smirked against your skin. “She’s jealous.”
You rolled your eyes and shouted back, “We are cooking! Not being gross!”
“You would never let me hug you while you’re cooking,” Natalie shot back.
“She’s got a point,” Leah teased.
You turned your head slightly, arching a brow. “Oh, do you want me to start holding you hostage while you try to make dinner? See how fun it is?”
“I wouldn’t complain,” Leah grinned, kissing your shoulder.
Before you could reply, there was a knock at the door.
“That’ll be Beth and Viv,” Natalie said, clearly grateful for the interruption.
Leah finally pulled away (with a dramatic sigh, of course) to let Natalie open the door while you focused back on the food. A few seconds later, you heard Beth’s voice.
“Bloody hell, it still stinks of romance in here.”
“I told you, mate,” Viv chimed in, shaking her head as they walked in. “They get worse every time.”
“Oi!” you said, turning to glare at them as they entered the kitchen. “You come into my house, insult my marriage, and expect to be fed?”
“Yes,” Beth said immediately, grinning.
Leah was already reaching into the fridge for drinks. “Well, you’ll just have to suffer through the romance first.”
Natalie groaned loudly. “This is literally my worst nightmare.”
Beth laughed, ruffling her hair. “Don’t worry, Nat. One day, they’ll be too old to keep up all this PDA.”
“You’d think that,” Natalie grumbled, “but somehow, they just keep getting worse.”
“Because we’re still madly in love,” you said sweetly, turning to Leah and fluttering your eyelashes. “Aren’t we, baby?”
Leah smirked, stepping closer and resting a hand on your bump. “Oh, absolutely. More in love than ever.”
Natalie gagged.
Viv shook her head in mock disappointment. “You two were reckless at 23, and you’re reckless now.”
Beth nodded. “Having two kids? At your age? Couldn’t be me.”
Leah gasped dramatically. “Are you calling us old?”
“You are old,” Natalie mumbled, sitting down at the table.
“I think you mean seasoned,” you corrected, pointing a spoon at her.
Beth grinned. “You did have Nat young, though. No wonder you’re still obsessed with each other.”
“It’s called commitment, ladies,” Leah said smugly. “Try and keep up.”
Viv raised an eyebrow. “You got her pregnant again. That’s not commitment, mate. That’s madness.”
Leah grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Madly in love, madly in love,” she sing-songed.
You beamed up at her, smitten as ever. “Aw, baby, you’re so sweet.”
Beth gagged. “I hate it here.”
Natalie groaned. “Same.”
Viv just shook her head. “You two are gonna be eighty and still making everyone sick with your love, aren’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” you said, laughing. “Gonna be snogging in our rocking chairs.”
Natalie put her head in her hands. “Please stop talking.”
Leah smirked, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “She’s just mad ‘cause she knows we’re still gonna be shagging.”
Natalie screamed.
Beth and Viv burst into laughter as Natalie jumped up from the table.
“I’m leaving,” she declared. “I’m running away.”
Leah grinned. “Need help packing?”
“You’re a monster,” Natalie muttered before storming upstairs.
Beth wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so glad we came over.”
Viv nodded. “Highlight of my week, honestly.”
You laughed, shaking your head before reaching up to kiss Leah’s cheek. “Well, babe, at least we’re still fun, right?”
Leah smirked. “Oh, always.”
Beth groaned. “You’re disgusting.”
Viv raised her glass. “To disgusting, sickly love.”
Leah winked at you. “Forever, baby.”
And despite all the teasing, despite all the groans from your daughter, you knew without a doubt—this was the happiest life you could have ever asked for.
#woso#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#woso imagine#leah williamson imagines#leah williamson x you#leah williamson one shot#leah williamson fluff
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Bewitched: The Rake and The Risk



˖⋆࿐໋ james logan howlett ✦ bridgerton au series
bewitched masterlist
chapter two
cw: flirting (mix of 1800s and modern day), jealousy, old time thoughts of women and marriage, james is a slut
pairing: viscount!logan howlett x fem!reader
a/n: sorry this is later than intended! i try to aim for a new chapter every friday but college is kicking my ass right now. next chapter will be longer!! also!! if you want to be tagged for the bewitched series please comment on the original bewitched masterlist post linked above this<3 there are so many of you lovely readers who want to be tagged and i need a more organized way to find everyone to add. sorry for the minor inconvenience. i appreciate every one of you!!
main masterlist
in all the twenty-nine years of knowing james howlett, lady chamberlain never would have pictured him coming to her home to ask about the eligible bachelorettes of the ton.
"what do you want to know, my dear?" lady chamberlain asked, sipping a cup of tea as the two of them sat in the living room.
"i am coming to you because as you know, my mother is expecting me to wed sooner rather than later and i was wondering whom might be the best women to seek out this season." james said, lying through his teeth.
if james really wanted to know who the best women this season were, he would've just opened the latest issue of lady cavanaugh. both of them knew this but it was more fun for lady chamberlain to tease the viscount.
"hm.." she smiles. "anyone in particular?"
"no."
the lie falls with ease. too much ease but lady chamberlain sees right through him.
"well, i did take note last night that the only lady you danced with was lady worthington's niece." she remarks slyly.
"the french girl?" he asks, playing coy. "i think i remember her."
lady chamberlain wasn't going to play games with the boy in front of her.
"i would hope so, you seemed quite fawned of her."
"i don't know if i would say that much."
"hm, so you don't want to know who she's planning to attended the mask ball with?" lady chamberlain smirks, knowing she's got him hooked.
everyone in the ton looked forward to the queens mask ball each season. it was the perfect way to help break the usual ice of finding 'the one'. that's where most couples tend to meet for the first time.
"let me guess..." james rolls his eyes. "prince harrison?"
lady chamberlain shrugs, placing her tea cup back on the dish. "the two of them talked quite a bit after you stormed off. she seems quite smitten with him."
"it's the first ball of the season. she has plenty of time to look for a better husband." he scoffs.
"well, dear... there are people who search their whole lives for something that's been right in front of them the entire time."
the elderly woman's words rang true in the room but james was far too in denial to notice them. instead, his ego was eating him alive. why would you not jump at the opportunity to be with the viscount?
˖⋆࿐໋
this afternoon was the queen's annual tea party. all the ton's debutantes gather to make friends and share their predictions for this season. anxiously, you paced the cobblestones outside, waiting for the carriage to pick you up.
"dear, it's not lady-like to pace back and forth." your aunt calls out from the doorway.
"my apologies," you reply, not stopping your feet.
"you're snagging the hem of your gown!"
thank heavens that the carriage was approaching. she waves you off, wishing you luck on your first adventure alone in the ton, wishing desperately she could join you.
your goal today is to make at least one friend. you'll even settle for an allied.
once you arrive at the queen's castle, you step inside. covered in soft pastels, flowers, and butterflies; you immediately feel calm. everyone is chatting and sipping tea at the tables. you sit down in the first available seat.
"you're the diamond, correct?" someone whispered next to you asks.
you turn your head to see a blonde girl to the right. she's wearing a soft yellow dress that doesn't quite fit her right.
"correct." you nod, offering the girl a smile to which she returns.
"shouldn't you be sat with the queen?" she asks, nodding to one of the beautiful girls surrounding the queen.
"probably but this was the first seat i saw." you joke, sipping on your tea.
the girl laughs with a small nod and introduces herself. her name is bridget and her father is a jewelry maker for the queen.
"i saw you dancing with the viscount last night at the ball." she smiles. "do you fancy him?"
almost choking on your tea, you shake your head.
"no, no, no. i don't fancy the viscount." you state.
bridget hesitates, watching your body language closely. the pressure gets you to speak up again.
"why do you ask?"
"because the viscount is a major rake."
the word rake rolls off her tongue with pure disgust. you'd never heard someone with such respect as a viscount be called something so dishonorable. rakes were known for their ability to seduce and lead on women with no promise of marriage.
"but he talks of his desire for a wife?" you question, more to yourself than to bridget but alas, she answers anyway.
"only because his mama is practically begging for a viscountess." bridget whispers.
you suppose this made sense due to the fact that most rakes never even intend to wed and after your conversation with james last night, he made it clear that marriage was not something he craved.
"trust me, you aren't the first lady to attempt to tie down the viscount. well, at least you have a shot since you're the diamond this season and all." the blonde girl rambles.
"oh, heavens no!" you repeat.
"hm, that's sad..." she sighs. "he is quite handsome."
"most definitely but i intend to wed for pure reasons."
"if that's truly the case, stay as far away from the viscount as possible."
˖⋆࿐໋
for the rest of the afternoon, bridget's words stuck to the front of your brain. if james wasn't so intolerable, perhaps he would make a good husband to someone.
once everyone finished with their tea, you decided to go sketch in wisteria park. the weather was beautiful outside and gave you the perfect inspiration needed to work on a new piece. normally, you would only draw on the sides of the letters written to your father back home. no one was more supportive of you than your parents. in a world where women mean nothing more than their wombs to society, it was rare to have parents who let their daughters have dreams.
sat on a patch of grass near the small pond, you set up your quill, small tray of paints, and paper. in the area where you decided to sit, across from you stood a beautiful cherry tree. as you work on the outline, you can hear footsteps approaching.
"i should've known i would find you here." a familiar voice says.
you don't even glacé up at the person near you, paying no mind to the man who seeks your attention most.
"do you want something, my lord?" you ask, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.
james' head spun every time those last two words fell from your lips, sounding to pretty the way that they roll of your tongue.
"you may call me, logan." he says. "if you so wish."
"logan?" you cock a brow, finally looking up at him.
"it's my middle name." he replies awkwardly.
"hm..." you pretend to ponder for a moment. "that's far too personal for me."
" 'too personal'? how might that be?"
james stands arms crossed against the cherry tree, glaring in your direction. you don't rush to answer his question instead you continue adding details to the branches and trees. he huffs under his breath, clearly irritated your lack of interest in him.
"well, we have no intentions to be together this season and we aren't friends so, there's no need for nicknames and such." you reply nonchalantly.
"you don't know my intentions"
a sweet giggle escapes you. james brushes off the warmth flooding his chest, rather focusing on topic at hand.
"oh, i bet i do."
suddenly, you drop your quill and give him your undivided attention.
"why are you even here, james?" you sigh.
"i was visiting an old friend this morning and wanted a stroll through the park."
"an old friend?"
the words left your lips before you could stop yourself. james was quick to notice the tone shift. he smirks, walking over to you and sitting on the grass to your right.
"mhm..." he hums.
"is she viscountess material?" you scoff, returning to your scribbles.
"and why would you care?"
why did you care? it's not like the two of you really know each other; yet, something about james made your blood boil. perhaps it was how he has a near perfect life and somehow still complains. he has no issues in finding a partner because everyone wants him. if he didn't have his head up his own ass, he would realize that.
"i don't."
"sounds like you do."
james liked watching your face scrunch up at little with dislike for him. how your pressure on the quill increases. how you avoid his gaze. how you pretend he doesn't exist next to you.
"i don't." you repeat. "i just cannot believe that someone like you is complaining about having to take a wife when all the women of the ton are smitten with you."
"someone like me?" james pretends to be offended but he was too busy enjoying this riled up version of you.
"someone who never gone with unmet needs, never struggled financially, never been under minded or overlooked." your words come out sharp but james doesn't let them cut deep.
"look, sweetheart..." he squints those hazel eyes, glaring deep into your soul and leaning in closer than he should've. "you know nothing of my families struggles."
"and you know nothing of mine."
james was so close to you. your noses almost touching before you pull away. being within his close proximity made you feel a foreign warm tingle deep in your stomach.
thank heavens that the park was empty, minus the two of you. the last thing you needed was for someone to see the two of you this close and label you as one of the viscounts mistresses.
"i-i must get going." you stutter, collecting your belongings.
"where are you off to?" he asks.
"i'm supposed to be accompanying lady chamberlain and prince harrison to dinner this evening."
his face scrunches with distaste at the mention of the prince. also, why would lady chamberlain hide this piece of information from him?
"isn't it quite early to prepare for dinner?"
"i must look perfect for the prince." you smile.
but not at james. you're smiling for that no good excuse of a prince who couldn't see that you already were perfect.
"you look fine to me." he huffs.
"it's vocabulary like that, that keeps you from finding a wife."
"and to think it was my insufferable personality that kept the ladies of the ton away."
it's difficult to hide the laugh you want to let out. instead you bite down on your cheek, not giving him the satisfaction of your laughter.
"ha ha ha." you mock dryly.
"do you always have a stick up your ass?"
james question makes your jaw drop. never in your life have you heard a man speak so vulgarly.
"that's no way for a viscount to speak to a lady." you scold. he can't help but roll his eyes at your comment.
"i'm sure that a man has spoken even more colorfully to you."
"what are you insinuating, my lord?"
"that i highly doubt a lady such as yourself still has her virtue." he shrugs.
never has your head spun so fast at a single sentence. you couldn't fathom that a rake like him has the nerve to question anyone's virtue.
"excuse me, viscount howlett but my virtue is none of your business." you rage. "and you have quite the nerve to question it."
"and why's that?"
james was playing with fire but he didn't mind getting scorched by your flames.
"i've heard the stories about you."
"like what?"
"like what you do with the promiscuous women of the night." your words leave a smirk plastered on his face as he watches you intensely.
"don't act so innocent either." james hums. "i'm sure you've had your fair share of promiscuous adventures in france."
a flush of red hits at your cheeks. the last person you wanted to talk about promiscuous acts with is james. mostly because your lack there of. only your own hands have touched you so intimately.
james studies your facial expression before it clicks for him. he shouldn't ask. he really shouldn't. but come on, he has to.
"have you never—" his words come to a halt when there's a ruffled noise inching closer.
"i'm under no obligation to answer you, viscount howlett." you scold, collecting your belongings.
"hm... seems like you've already answered my question." his cocky tone sends you over the edge of annoyance.
"shouldn't you be more concerned with finding a wife rather than my virtue? this season will be over before you know it and you will need to find one sooner rather than later."
james admired the way you spoke with such sharpness. you were shy and reserved but the weight of your words were heavy. there was grace in the way you spoke and he loathed it.
he loathed how perfect you were. how absolutely perfect you would fit into his life. how perfect you would be at being his little wife. only needing to plan parties and open your womb to his child. he would never stop you from your dream of painting either. all he wants is someone who can handle the duties that come with being his other half.
by the time james snaps out of his thoughts, you are long gone. off to get ready for your date with a man who's twice as rich as him and much more likable. the only thing he could do is hope that nothing good comes from this dinner.
──★
i'll tag everyone else who commented in the morning when i wake up <3
tag list: @v3rdee @squishyfruitloop @caswithdasas2021 @espressopatronum454 @brittdead @fake-bleach @blossoming-hotch @hotbisexualmess @imaginecrushes @wh0re4steelblue-eyes @b0nes-n-all @tvdelrey @prettyoatmeal @speedyvoidlove @lunavelha @merrul @bubblegumholland @divinesols @seasonofthenerd @adoredire @gl0wingsl0wtown @imithicwolf @charityjoy22 @sun7lowxr @melsunshine @internetitgirl17 @tsumukei @dolliestprncess @st4rrlighttt @crypticcowboys @mirrorballpalo @princessanglophile @planetxella @battieshroomz @tonyhawkstits @shinyshayminflower @babey-fruit-bat @oraclic @glnnnhaps @criminaly-supernatural @pxrwinkle @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere @tighrenicotine @midnightvitality @loonalockley @notbaldy420 @squishyfruitloop @summer-343 @reidshearts @marii-ren @fictionalmen-dilflover @brisingamenwearer @pedrohoe04 @taextannie @jrihensjd @tumharisakhi @readerofallthingss @etmoisara @paladinshenanigan-blog @hauntedwombateggmug @i-am-not-a-morning-person-83 @zaggprincess2 @atjlovverr @fallingfromjupiter @cards-and-daggers @reidsworld @imsuperbored @golden-ebony @joyfulpeanutsalad @mysticalmarvelousmagpie @thighridinglogan @pieuui @fanficcrow @alsoprettyinpink @rooroen @barbecuetiddy @potato-painter @milfhunter69sstuff @bel20blog @hypermarvellove @modicum-ofnothing @gemofthenight @laureniswolverine @d3ad2you @goldphish @mxtokko @ovohanna24 @i-voluntears @cherrypieyourface @petrichor-incorporation @csigirl3137 @justannie18 @yxtkiwiyxt @maddielovesurmom321 @madscape @mesopotamism @multifandom-boss-bitch @tecolote2755 @ririkacchi @crownofdecit @snow30285 @lenoradarkstriderr @willybillyletsgetsilly @sleepilysworld @mynatureworld @biiolumii @phantombaby @natlovesu @tumharisakhi @lokiswify @saph-cyare @burntsaltsblog @shedobeclownin @itsjuwulia @hazelwebster @cake-and-umbrellas @aureliusbrutus @loving-barnes @valorant-v @annagraceevanss @opheliaas-stuff @louisymomo @midnightvitality @ricespy123 @livingonsillylovesongs
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett smut#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine smut#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine angst#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#logan wolverine#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#old man logan#old man!logan#old man logan x reader#x men#x men comics#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel#the wolverine#hugh jackman#x men wolverine
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: ̗̀➛ Call it what you want to
You're an up-coming star, staring in some hit movies like Hunger games Ballad of songbirds and snakes and now Wonka, along the Timothee Chalamet.
[i'm obsessed with my man and just need to ignore the fact he's dating someone that isn't me. anyway, you're an up-coming actress who stared in the new hunger games movie and now you're also staring in wonka, the people love you and maybe, so does a co-star of yours] not proof read. this was very fun to write so maybe i'll do more, if anyone likes it. or just for me
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

liked by... tayrussell, joshandresrivera, tomblyth, sadiesink_, tchalamet & others
yourusername: wonka press tour starts now!
809k likes. 304k comments
user: wait, you're in wonka?!
user: I LOVE YOU!!
user: mother giving us content, as always
tchalamet: now you've posted can you come up and help me
yourusername: no
tchalamet: pls!!!
user: omg she really said no to timothee chalamet, who does she thin she is?
user: slayyyy
user: isn't wonka supposed to suck
tomblyth: from one press tour to another, i see
yourusername: girls got to earn a living
tomblyth: she doesn't let the grass grow
user: say hi to timothee for me!!!!
user: omg how is she getting all the hottest guys in hollywood rn? gurl leave some for us
wonkamovie: 😍😍
balladofsongbirdsandsnakes: 😍😍😍
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
you were flicking through comments by your friends when your phone started to ring, the familiar picture of your co-star flicking up on your phone. quickly, you dimissed yourself from your assistant and took the call. 'yes?'
'I need your help.'
'Timothee, you're old enough to zip up your own jacket,' you tease, leaning on the wall.
'I don't know what jumper to wear, what are you wearing? we'll coordinate.'
you'd opted for something of your own style. a jumper with pinks and blues and a white flowering skirt with a ring almost on every finger. this was only your second big press tour and sitting next to timothee chalamet every day for it was enough to make you nervous. so nervous you woke every morning wondering if you'd throw up. it didn't help you were also surrounded by others you'd looked up to, like olivia coleman and hugh grant. how were you supposed to keep your cool for months. even if now you were considered just as big a star.
'don't you have a stylist for this?' you ask, looking at the crew around, ready to go but waiting for him.
'there's three options and i don't know which one to go for. can't you just come up.'
you could, sure. go to timothee's hotel room and see him probably shirtless. once you'd have dreamt of it, but things were different, now you just didn't have a silly celebrity crush. now he was your co-star and very off limits.
'option two now come on, please.' quickly, you end the call and pick up your coffee, heading to the room where you'd be sat for the next eight hours answering questions with timothee.
you were there first, shaking hands with the interviewer and introducing yourself to her. you took your seat, making little chatter before timothee chalamet walked in, calm, cool and collected. completely different to your flushed and smiling expression.
you watched as he quickly said hello to everyone in the room and greeted the lady who'd be conducting the interview.
timothee turned to you, arms out wide and waiting. laughing, you put your coffee down and stood up, giving him a hug. you shared small pleasantries before he took his seat next to you, shuffling around and settling in. only then did you realise how much your jumpers looked the same, both smudges of similar colours. you blushed more as timothee watched, silently wondering what could make you so red. as if he had no idea what he did to you just by sitting down next to him.
'I have had scrub scrub stuck in my head since seeing the movie,' she- charline, said as you and timothee laugh. 'do you guys have a favourite song you got to perform?'
'I mean, pure imagination was quite a surreal experience. you know, getting to sing something that was so ... iconic, it was-it was a lot of fun. and a lot of pressure, but, in a good way,' said timothee.
'you killed it,' you assure, casually.
'thank you,' he smiled.
'i really enjoyed you've never had chocolate like this number. that was just so fun, the dancing and all,' you say, timothee nodding and agreeing.
'for a moment was fun to, i guess,' added timothee. 'we got to dance.'
you grin at the memory. 'we did.' you remembered the a million takes, timothee singing practically to you while prancing around. it was your favourite scene to shoot because it was such an easy and happy scene. you didn't have to think about it, just held timmy's hand as he twirled you around the place.
'and i know we're here to talk about wonka but i just have to say-' she gestured to you, 'congratulations on hunger games, biggest movie in the world.'
you wave her off, thanking her as timmy claps for you. 'thank you, thank you.'
'i was wondering what was your favourite song to film there on that set and how does it compare to singing on this one.'
ranting about yourself or your achievements was always hard for you. your stardom and come so quickly with hunger games and wonka, so much so you felt like you didn't deserve half of it.
'i mean, for hunger games it was all live. i sang them there and then so that's daunting in itself, um. i loved filming pure as the driven snow, just because i got to- essentially- sing it to tom. it was just him and me and the crew, like for those shots there was no extra's so that was great fun. a special moment. and singing it to him made it a whole lot easier. whereas on this movie, luckily it was all like pre-recorded so, not so daunting. didn't have to sing in front of timothee chalamet,' you say.
he listened carefully to you, seeing your smile at mentioning tom blyth, your co-star from the hunger games. he'd never met the guy, he was probably lovely- from the amount you talked about him. 'you've got a great singing voice.'
'thanks man.'
'this cast is just so insane and obviously you two got close during filming,' says charline, gesturing to the two of you.
timothee nudged you with his head, like he'd done a thousand times before knowing how much you secretly loved it. just like a horse, as had been quoted.
'who's more british, olivia or hugh?'
'hugh, easily,' you say. you loved all of hugh's movies, but you'd never say that to his face.
'you know, i'm gonna go and say you,' says timothee, turning to you.
you drop you jaw, pointing to yourself. yes, you were british, but more so than than the hugh grant seemed impossible. 'me?'
'yea, i mean, hugh grant is like a walking union jack- and i mean that in the best way possible, but you seem so much more like british. you know, wicked sense of humor and the charm and- you love london,' he pointed out.
'i do love london,' you agreed.
'did you have fun filming in england, timothee?' she asked.
they want on and on to talk about filming the movie, answering questions in depth and it was sure the two of you had great answers, listening intently together and everyone could tell. your chemistry was there, your smiles and answers together were almost so perfect it was like it was practiced and the fans ate it up!
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

liked by... zendaya, mtv, kyliejenner, yourusername, wbpictures & others
tchamalmet: WONKA!!! coming soon
tagged: yourusername
1.1m likes, 609k comments
user: he posted! he posted!
user: we are getting FED
user: i just know this is all yourusername influence
user: not kylie liking...
user: statistics! statistics!
liked by yourusername
yourusername: bring back little timmy tim!
yourusername: out of all the pictures you chose that one
user: anyone else think her and timmy are getting too close
user: like fr she stealin my man
user: i love them!!!
user: i swear something is going on with her and tom blyth
user: she's just like us!
user: LOVE!!!!!
user: her and timmy >>> him and kylie
user: plssss, i love kylie
user: is wonka a musical
user: TIMMY I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!!!
user: fave bob dylan song?
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

liked by... tomblyth, rachelzeglar, tchalamet, hunterschafer, zendaya & others
yourusername: ballad of song birds and snakes is number one movie? more like i'm the number one most grateful person out there for this chance and being trusted with my girl lucy-grey!!! thank you, thank you, thank you!!
tagged: tomblyth
1m likes 477k comments
tomblyth: lots of love my dear !
user: pls the second picture was so unncesary she just wanted to post it
user: MOTHER
user: parents are parenting
user: I LOVED THIS FILM
user: tom blyth is honestly so hot like wtf
rachelzeglar: my luv <3
yourusername: omg my gf everybody!!!!
joshandresrivera: funny how you don't post a picture of me
yourusername: it's funny because i don't like you
joshandresrivera: tomblyth you gonna let her talk to me like that??
tomblyth: she's the boss
user: how is she so amazing in everything
user: wonder how she got this job? she's literally as plain as a plank
user: hi!
user: the film was insane, i'm obsessed
user: i need this film injected into my veins
user: she's so good at singing, get her on broadway!!!
tchalamet: very proud
yourusername liked tchalamet's comment
user: why would you post the second pic unless they're clearly dating
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

user: pls why do i ship them so hard!!
user: lol it looks like he's just refusing to answer questions without her
user: is nobody gonna talk about how they were basically wearing the same jumpers?
user: no because i thought the exact same thing
user: someone pointed it out in an interview and timothee said it was 100% planned, they're so cute
user: doesn't he have a girlfriend?
user: isn't she with tom blyth? they look like they're together?
user: they haven't confirmed it
user: they don't need to did you see her post on instagram?! it was all just him
user: no but the way she's just constantly blushing around him
user: so would you if you were sat next to the timothee chalamet
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#timothée chalamet#tom blyth#i need him biblically#timothee x you#wonka 2023#timothee chalamet x reader#timmy#tom blyth x reader#the hunger games#wonka#actress#social media
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HI!! Hope you are well! I was wondering if you could do a smau, ferrari!reader (daughter of the ferrari family, like hier to the company? Idk how to explain lol) x max verstappen, where they have known eachother for a while through Jos and stuff, and they are really close, but everyone thinks it's just because they are friends? And then max hard launched reader because everyone is shipping her with one of the ferrari boys? Thanks! <3
hard launch ✧ max verstappen
max verstappen x ferrari! fem! reader
masterlist
had so much fun writing this! thank you for sending in your request anon <3 (requested)
[twitter]
[instagram]
yn_ferrari



liked by charles_leclerc and 1.830.616 others
yn_ferrari eat pasta drive fasta 🍝
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scuderiaferrari See you tomorrow boss 🫡
username mother is mothering more than she has ever mothered before 😍
charles_leclerc bet you were drunk after drinking that amount of wine
↳ yn_ferrari stop spreading lies
↳ username never beating the couple allegations
↳ username i ship it🥰
username “CHA” for CHArles?!??! 🥺🥺
↳ username GIRL😭😭
maxverstappen1 🫃
↳ yn_ferrari papa asked you to let charles/carlos win for once🥹🙏🏼
↳ maxverstappen1 As much as I love papa, I’m afraid I can’t do that💙
↳ yn_ferrari nicorosberg please do your magic
username IS THAT MAX IN THE 3RD PICTURE?!
↳ username it’s charles😌

yn_ferrari


liked by carlossainz55 and 1.288.711 others
yn_ferrari always a meaningful race at monza! so glad to be back and see all the tifosi that came to show their support❤️ congrats to carlossainz55 for the podium! (and to maxverstappen1 for breaking the record 😒)
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maxverstappen1 Thank you, Y/N😚
↳ yn_ferrari it’s all your fault! nicorosberg 🙍♀️
↳ nicorosberg Forza Ferrari❤️
↳ yn_ferrari you’re welcome, i guess you deserved it🤷♀️
↳ username is it just me?? but i feel like y/n is so rude to max sometimes :/
↳ username girl chill😭😭 that’s just how they are, they’ve been friends for over twenty years now
scuderiaferrari Lovely to have you and bossman here! Please visit often❤️
↳ yn_ferrari i think i still have to recover, feels like my hand is broken by how hard papa squeezed it throughout the race
username “ferrari fans always in spain (without the s)” SO TRUE 😩
charles_leclerc Are we still on for the family dinner tonight
↳ yn_ferrari you’ve been uninvited, you almost gave papa a heart attack
↳ carlossainz55 😂😂😂
↳ yn_ferrari you too mr. sainz
↳ carlossainz55 THATS NOT FAIR
username i just love the banter between charles and y/n😭 i want what they have
[message]


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maxverstappen1



liked by yn_ferrari and 4.716.109 others
maxverstappen1 You still make my heart beat fast, Ferrari❤️
tagged: yn_ferrari
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yn_ferrari i thought i told you to keep it PG😡 5 SECOND PENALTY FOR MAX VERSTAPPEN
yn_ferrari unoriginal caption taken from song lyrics?! 183621 SECOND PENALTY!!
↳ maxverstappen1 I love you🥰
↳ yn_ferrari love you too 😮💨
username SCREAMING CRYING WTF😭
username i can’t see i’m blind😵
redbullracing SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY?! 😮
↳ scuderiaferrari FORZA FERRARI SIEMPRE!!!🐎
papaferrari Please delete
papaferrari yn_ferrari I think we need to have a little chat
↳ yn_ferrari i’m not the one who posted the pictures😭
↳ papaferrari Okay… Please tell Max not to come to the dinner tonight 👍😁
↳ maxverstappen1 WHAT NO, I CAN EXPLAIN
username b-b-b-but charles + y/n? 🥲
↳ username we lost💔
username a good day to be a ferrstappen shipper
↳ username WAR IS OVER
username THE 2ND PIC I-
charles_leclerc Took you guys long enough🙄
yn_ferrari



liked by maxverstappen1 and 3.921.551 others
yn_ferrari some things never change
tagged: maxverstappen1
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username okay i guess they’re cute or whatever🙄
maxverstappen1 ❤️💙
papaferrari Can you just give this old man a break…
↳ username i volunteer to be your daughter 🧎♀️
username fell to my knees in the middle of walmart
charles_leclerc 20+ years of this 🫠
↳ yn_ferrari 😬😬😬
↳ maxverstappen1 💪💪💪
username i just need to know papa ferrari’s current favorite grid son, given all the situations happening right now😂
↳ yn_ferarri will always and forever be @/sebastianvettel
↳ charles_leclerc WOW
↳ carlossainz55 WOW
↳ maxverstappen1 WOW
↳ kimimatiasraikonnen Wow.
↳ sebastianvettel 😁😁😁

_
pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram
#max verstappen#formula 1#f1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen social media#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 one shot#f1 social media#f1 smau#archiverstappen
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Sweet Tooth
Sylus x gn!Reader
I was nodding off while writing this cuz 1. I need a nap so bad and 2. It's just so peaceful the vibes of this fic are really nice
Edit: fixed some minor phrasing
Warnings: biting, kissing, established relationship, fluff, food/baking
Word Count: 1,771
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No matter how long you spend with Sylus in the N109 Zone, your sleep schedule remains persistent. Sure, you stay up as late as you can to spend the night with him while he’s up and about, but the darkness, warm ambiance, and your body’s own internal clock turn against you sooner or later.
Sylus does the same for you, too. He grumbles about it, but he does enjoy spending the morning with you when you’re extra cuddly, searching for the last vestiges of your sleep before you have to get up. He’s better at staying awake, but you catch him dozing a lot, head tilted back and eyes closed as he lounges in a chair near you. It’s adorable. You love the effort you both put into trying to maximize your time together.
But today, Sylus is conked out. He was gone for most of the night and came back worn and weary. He didn’t have any visible injuries, but when you cupped his cheek and used your Evol, you could feel how drained his own was. He nearly fell asleep right there, eyes closing dangerously as he leaned into your touch and the soothing warmth of your ability. You dragged him to his bedroom, kissed his forehead, and told him to sleep. He mumbled vague threats about you waking him up, but they fell into silence before he finished any of them.
With the mansion to yourself for the day, you have to find ways to occupy yourself.
The twins and you play Kitty Cards for a bit, but they cheat so horrendously and tease you for losing, so that’s out until Sylus can sit behind you and glare at them any time their fingers try to slip more than one card from the draw pile.
You go through his books. A few are interesting; texts about Protocores and Evols stealing your attention for a time. But they have you yawning and wanting to crawl into bed with Sylus.
You even go to his dedicated exercise space, but without a partner to spar with, you don’t even work up a sweat before leaving.
Normally, you aren’t so restless. Any other time you had to spend the day with yourself, you were able to settle on something for long stretches of time, even into the night if you weren’t careful. Now, you can’t sit still for 30 minutes.
You check the time. 9:56. It’s not even 10 yet and you’re already struggling to come up with things to do. You fall into a couch in one of the lounge rooms with a humph, pulling out your phone and preparing to fall into a doomscroll through old Moments posts.
Fortunately, one of the first few posts is the perfect motivator not to: a recipe promising to be the number 1 rated chocolate chip recipe. You click on the article and scroll through until you reach the comments.
These are the best cookies I’ve ever had!!!
mmmnn wanna eat the dough raw its sooo gooooood
Tossing my store-bought cookies out rn I will only be making these from now on
It seems promising enough… You look at all the ingredients you need. It also seems simple enough for you to manage without burning the place down. You’d be surprised if the kitchen wasn’t already stocked with everything listed. But just in case…
You head down to the kitchen where the chef is coming up with meal suggestions for dinner. He’s jovial, always red in the cheeks and bright eyed. You wonder how he got hired on. You ask for help gathering the ingredients you need, and he’s happy to bounce from cabinet to fridge getting everything. Once they’re all laid out on the counter, you thank him and ask if you can have the kitchen to yourself. He bows and tells you to have fun, going over his list of notes as he leaves.
You turn the oven on, setting it to the correct temperature and letting it preheat. You forgot to ask the chef about bowls and measuring cups, but you find them easily and set them on the counter with the ingredients. Once you have music playing (quietly) on your phone, it’s easy to lose yourself in the process.
The world hones in on each step. You measure out the flour and sugars, mixing them together with a whisk. Without any preplanning, you have to soften the butter in the microwave before you can add it. Eggs are cracked against the countertop, calcium-rich shells scraping quietly as you set them aside to throw away later. A dash of vanilla, and a generous amount of chocolate chips, and the dough is ready.
You find a couple baking sheets and line them with parchment paper. As you roll small amounts of dough in your hands, you bounce on your feet, excited to taste your sweet treats in just 15 short minutes. You pinch off a little extra from one dough-ball and pop it into your mouth. If this was a preview for the finished product… You hurry to get them into the oven and set a timer.
To distract yourself from constantly checking the time, you clean up your mess. You put away what you remember the designated locations of, and set the rest aside for somebody else to deal with.
Hm, you should probably leave some for the chef, as a thank you for letting you borrow the space. And save a few for Luke and Kieran, or else they’d bug you for “forgetting” them for the rest of your days.
You open up cabinets until you find plates. There’s a set, the perfect size to divide the batch of cookies between three parties. You reach for it, stretching to be on your tip-toes. You gasp as a hand comes into your vision. When you try to back up, you hit a wall of muscle. A clingy wall of muscle, if the way his arm wraps around your waist and holds you there is any indicator. He grabs a plate from the stack.
“Ah, I need three,” you quickly tell him. He sighs, but does as you say, bringing down three plates and setting them on the counter. As soon as his hand is free, you’re being fully embraced by Sylus, both arms holding you close to him as he presses his face into your neck. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair. “Did I wake you up?”
It doesn’t seem like he’ll answer for a moment, until he breathes in deeply and presses a soft kiss along your shoulder. “No. I could smell whatever you’re making through the whole mansion.” His voice is quiet and rough, affected by his slumber.
You smile and turn your head to kiss his forehead. “I’m making cookies,” you say. “They’ll be done soon. I was gonna leave some for the chef and the twins. But most of them will be just for us.”
You glance at the timer, anxious to know how much time is left, but you still have several minutes before you need to worry about it. You tap his arms and he reluctantly loosens his hold, enough for you to turn around and hug him back. His arms tighten once more.
“You’re clingy when you’re tired, you know that?”
He huffs a laugh against your skin. “As if you haven’t insisted on having me carry you around everywhere before because you were, quote, ‘too tired to walk anymore.’”
You tug playfully at his hair. He groans and bites your neck. It’s not harsh, but it does sting. You’re sure it’ll leave a mark regardless.
“Now you’re just being mean,” he growls.
You laugh and kiss his cheek. “Only a little. I think it’s cute.”
He doesn’t answer. His teeth nibble lightly along an invisible path, interspersed with light kisses. One of your hands combs through his soft hair, scratching his scalp lightly as you pet him. The other trails slowly along his back, side, and around to his stomach, searching for injuries hidden beneath his clothes. He notices, but he says nothing.
“Are you okay?” you whisper to him.
He pulls his mouth from your skin, finally lifting his head to look down at you with half-lidded eyes. The striking red of his irises seem softer right now, like the delicate plumage of a cardinal. “I’m alright.”
You study his face, as if you’d know if he was lying to you. But you believe him. So you nod and press a feather-light kiss to his lips. He sighs at the contact, like he’d never been touched so sweetly for hundreds of years. It’s such a beautiful sound.
The oven’s alarm startles you out of the moment. Sylus groans with a frown, letting you go and stepping away until his back hits the kitchen island. Your hand squeezes his side apologetically before you pull away.
You don a couple of oven mitts and open the oven door. The cookies are all aligned on the baking sheets, golden brown and slightly oozy from the overkill of chocolate you added. You excitedly pull each pan out and set them on the stovetop, before turning off the oven.
The recipe says to let them cool for five minutes… but you don’t have the patience for that today. You grab one of the plates from the counter and a spatula from a drawer, and carefully deposit some cookies onto the plate. You’re positively beaming when you bring them over to Sylus, holding the plate up to him.
“Want one?”
He hums. “Yes, but…” He takes the plate from you and sets it behind him. “You’ll burn your mouth if you eat one now.”
You half-heartedly glare up at him. “C’mon, Sy, I’ll be careful. I worked hard on these!”
“And you can stand to wait a few more minutes to taste the fruits of your labor, sweetie.”
“You just want more cuddles, don’t you?”
“Of course.” He grins. “Is there any better way to pass the time?”
You sigh, long and dramatic. But you wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his chest, right over his erratic heartbeat. He tangles a hand in your hair this time, cupping the back of your neck to hold you in place.
He feels the exact moment you go to reach for the plate and snatches your hand away from it, holding it captive by intertwining your fingers together. “Sneaky, but I’m not tired enough to pull that trick, kitten.”
You chuckle and press your nose against his septum. “It was worth a shot.”
#fanfic#fanfiction#sylus#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads#lads x reader#lnds#lnds x reader#gn reader#x gn reader#gender neutral reader#x gender neutral reader
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Moral Modification

Summary: When you decide to pierce your nipples, Joel Miller breaks his moral code to lend a helping hand.
Pairing: JacksonEra!Joel Miller/reader
Warnings: Explicit sexual content MDNI, seduction, age gap(undefined), piercings and needles, nipple play, moral ambiguity, oral sex, unprotected sex, praise kink, size difference
NOTE: this one shot was written for my bff joelmillersgirlfriend and all of the bolded words are titles of her fics over on AO3!! if you haven't read any of her work i def recommend going over there to check it out she's incredible. we also have a 3-part co-write we did on AO3 called False Pretenses! thank you to everyone for reading, love u all <3
[cross posted on AO3]
[masterlist]
You find it on a scouting mission.
Maria had sent you and Joel out in search of books to fill the shelves of Jackson’s overused library. It was a leisurely mission, moving slowly from house to house, searching through broken shelves and dressers and nightstands.
The blistering summer heat has you feeling exhausted by midday, and so the sun hasn’t even set when you pick a still-standing apartment complex and settle in for the night.
You drop your pack and flop onto the moth-eaten couch while Joel triple-checks every exit and every entrance in the tiny apartment he’d picked on the very top floor. He’s going at it again, glancing out of the wide windows with his rifle in hand, when you say, “If there was a way in or out, I think you would’ve found it the third time.”
He doesn’t say anything. Not a man of many words, Joel Miller. But he was certainly fun to torture with lewd suggestions.
“It’s real hot today,” you say. And it’s the goddamn truth—your skin is warm and your shirt sticks to the small of your back, and even though you’re wearing jean shorts the fabric chafes at your thighs.
He does nothing but grunt in agreement as a reply. Few words.
Though you try, you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as you tell him, “We’d be a lot cooler if we took off some of these clothes, you know.”
Joel Miller is a good man. A really good man. This is why he pretends you don’t get to him, why he pretends to shrug you off as just a naive little girl whenever you brazenly flirt with him.
But you see it.
The way his calloused hands tighten around his rifle, the flush that creeps up his neck, the way he turns his head just enough to keep that smirk from out of view. “You’re ridiculous,” he says. But he leaves his spot at the window and joins you on the couch instead.
You set your legs in his lap and when he rests his hand on your calf you half expect him to push you away. But he doesn’t—his fingers linger, pressing into the tender muscle. “How am I ridiculous? It’s only common sense, Mr. Miller.”
His eyes catch yours at the name. He’s never directly said it, but you have a hunch that it does something to him, speaking to him as an authority. A part of you wonders if he ever thinks of you in the way you think of him, wonders if his mind is often filled with sinful, raw images. “You know why.”
“No, I don’t.” You do. Of course, you do. But you’re out here all alone and he’s sitting beside you and you can feel the heat of his skin against yours and he’s so big and warm and masculine. You want him, need him in a way you’ll never even try to understand. “Explain it to me,” you urge.
Joel leans his rifle against the arm of the couch and reaches up to rub the tension from his jaw. He smiles, one of those all-knowing smiles that makes your heart flutter. It’s a secret sort of smile, meant for just you and him. “You got any idea how old I am, girl?”
You shrug and say, “It doesn’t matter.” Because it doesn’t. “I like that you’re older. Besides, I’m not talking about that.” You are. “I’m talking about the weather. The heat. I’m going to take my shorts off.”
Slowly, carefully, you trail your fingertips over the curve of your chest, down the center of your abdomen. His eyes follow your every movement, pupils blown wide and jaw set firmly. His hand flexes around your calf, squeezing softly.
When you slip the edge of your pinky beneath the denim waistband his lips part. You trace the seam, from one hip to the other and back again, real slow. Joel watches you and you watch him, transfixed, thighs pressed together to abate the ache that forms between them.
For a moment, a single moment, you think you have him. You can see the temptation on his face, clear as day. You think you’ve finally cracked the eternal goodness and strength of one Joel Miller…but his hand covers yours the moment you reach for the silver button.
Embarrassment flushes your cheeks and you feel a little like you’ve been caught red handed.
His fingers squeeze yours, but his touch is so sudden and electrifying that the faintest whimper erupts from your chest. You want him to touch you with those hands, to touch you everywhere. You want him to take all that you offer and more.
But he’s just so good. “Stop,” he says, breathless.
The hesitance is palpable. The strain in his voice. You know he wants you, can see the growing erection pushing at the metallic zipper of his jeans from the other end of the couch. You know it’ll only take a little more convincing, a little more of the delicious chase…but you want the final decision to be his. You want him to need it, too.
So you relent.
You stand to your feet and move towards the staircase in the abandoned apartment. But when you step between his thighs, you linger. “Did you check for any books upstairs?”
He shakes his head. “No. Don’t think whoever lived here before were much the readin’ type.”
“Yeah, well…didn’t think you were much the reading type, either. But here you are.”
Joel shrugs. “Not much to do at the end of the world. Helps pass the time.”
You knock your knee against his playfully. “You even know how to read, old man?” He chuckles softly and it feels like a victory. “Never seen you in the library.”
He spreads his legs further to give you more room, settling into the couch with his head tilted back. You know he doesn’t mean to look that fucking good doing it, but he does. Taking up all that space, commanding without even trying. It makes your mouth water, makes your skin prickle in every spot he allows himself to look. And then he says lowly, “I’ve seen you.”
It gives you pause. Because if he’s seen you in the library back in Jackson but you haven’t seen him, it means he notices you. Even when you’re not out here alone, even when you’re not urging him to touch you, even when you’re not trying. A seductive smirk finds your lips. “You gotta crush on me or something, Mr. Miller?”
Joel scoffs and shakes his head, turning away from you to hide the redness on his face that has nothing to do with the heat.
You giggle softly and decide to grant him a little reprieve. “I’ll be back,” you say, escaping the growing tension and focusing instead on the task at hand. “If they don’t have books, maybe they have something else that could be useful. Clothes or shoes or batteries or something.”
It only takes a few minutes before you realize what he meant when he said the past inhabitants of the apartment don’t seem much like the reading type. There’s not a single bookshelf to be found. Nothing on the walls, nothing standing in the spare room. There are three computers, though. Not that they’re worth anything now.
Still, you try your damndest to find something. Anything. You rifle through drawers and find nothing but a cracked and weathered bible, of which you have a thousand and one copies in Jackson.
The closest thing you find to a real book is a stack of magazines in the cluttered bathroom. All are covered in a thick layer of dust and most have images of sports cars on the front, but they’re worth grabbing, anyway. You’re sure Tommy or Greg or someone wouldn’t mind skimming through them, so you grab the whole stack and return downstairs to Joel.
You’re halfway down the stairs when the magazine on the bottom of the stack tumbles from your hands. And it’s not a sports car on the front page.
Instead, it’s a woman all dressed up in leather. She wears platform boots that reach her knees, adorned with heavy silver buckles down the front. Even though you were born not long after the outbreak, you’re not oblivious. You know what pornography is, but you’ve never seen anything quite like this.
You pick it up and put it on the top of the pile.
When Joel sees the small stack in your hand he asks, “Anything good?”
“Mm. Not sure yet.” You set the pile onto the floor beside your pack, nestle back into your spot in the opposite corner of the couch, and flip open the magazine with the leather-clad woman on the front, reading the title aloud. “Have you ever heard of a porno mag named Dreadnought?”
“What are you—is that—?”
“I’m just curious, Mr. Miller. Relax.” You lift your feet and put them back in his lap and discover he is anything but relaxed. You can feel the stiffness in his thighs even through the thick soles of your high-top sneakers.
“No, what? No, you shouldn’t—you should…”
You ignore his stuttering, flipping quickly through the pages. Most of them are filled with erotic images of women dressed similarly to the one on the front page. They each have a man in a curious, submissive position. But none of this interests you, none of it even surprises you, in truth.
Near the end of the magazine is where you find exactly what you’re looking for. The woman on the front page is in different outfits, one in leather, another in red lace. But it’s the third page of her feature where she’s completely naked. Her breasts are full and sit too high on her chest to be real, but they’re beautiful. Not for any reason other than those pretty silver barbells that are pierced through her nipples.
You lean up, tucking your legs beneath yourself, and show Joel the image. “Was this common? You know, like…before?”
His face is red and you think maybe he’s forgotten how to speak. Because no words come out, he just sputters. “Is…what…which part—are you…I don’t—”
“I’ve never seen anyone with pierced nipples,” you interrupt. “That’s what I’m talking about. Was it common?”
He seems to find himself. “Uhm…no. Not really, I guess. Why do you ask?”
You shrug and find yourself leaning into his side, flipping to the next page. There’s another image of the woman, and though she’s back in that red lace again, you can see the piercings pushing against the thin fabric. “It’s pretty,” you say. “I like it. Do you think you could do something like that still?”
“Well, back then they had people who’d do that sorta thing professionally,” he says. “But as long as you’re careful, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to.”
You let it go, and the two of you ration what food you have left, deciding to head back to the commune within the next day or two. You fall asleep leaning up against him, head resting on his shoulder. And you know Joel doesn’t rest much outside of Jackson’s walls, always too worried about being found or threatened in some way. But halfway through the night, you wake covered in a thin layer of sweat, scorched by the warmth of his head against your belly.
At some point in your sleep, you’d shifted, laying on the couch on your back, and Joel must have followed you. His arms are wrapped around your waist and his torso covers your legs, body heat warming you to uncomfortable temperatures.
But you don't dare move. Instead, you slide your fingers through the soft tendrils of his hair and scratch softly at his scalp, smiling in the dark as he moans in his sleep.
Your luck the following day is much better. You stumble upon an old strip mall, and inside there’s a small, indie bookstore. Joel picks through the science fiction section, stuffing his pack with everything he thinks might be interesting. He finds a few children’s books and pockets those, too, while you browse the romance section.
Half the books are crumbling dust in your hands and the others have so much water damage they’re hardly legible, but you pick up what you can. While you’re rifling through the horror books, stashing anything written by Stephen King or H.P. Lovecraft, Joel comes up behind you and says, “You really read that kinda thing?”
“What, scary stuff?”
He nods, takes the copy of Carrie from your hands, and flips it over. “Yeah. Ain’t we got enough horror out there already?”
You roll your eyes dramatically. “It’s not the same,” you explain. You flick the corner of the book in his hands and go back to browsing the shelves. “ This you can turn off,” you try to explain. “If you get too scared you can just close the book. Have you ever read anything scary before?”
Joel shakes his head. “Not really.”
“Try it one day,” you say. “The best time is in October, though. Under the sheets with a flashlight, scared out of your mind. It’s so good, Mr. Miller.”
His jaw feathers as if there’s something he wants to say. But the words never pass his lips. He simply slips the book into your pack and remains silent as he watches you.
It takes a while, but eventually, you’re satisfied with your haul. The day is still early, and so you say, “If we head back now we could save some time. Get home before dark tomorrow.”
To your surprise, he agrees with you. The extra weight of the books has you feeling sluggish an hour into your journey back home, but you persist. And even though it’s significantly less hot today than yesterday, at least once an hour Joel’s passing you his plastic bottle and urging you to drink water.
It’s a sweet gesture, in truth. Joel’s got this innate instinct to provide for others, you know. You’ve seen it a hundred times, the way he just silently takes care of the people he cares about. Ellie, Tommy, Maria, you. You’ve observed him for long enough to know that he’s a protector, a nurturer.
The only problem with Joel taking care of you is how much you like it. It makes you feel soft and gooey on the inside, producing sordid images in your brain of repaying the favor on your knees. You think about Joel’s big hands on you often—in your dreams, even.
But…today is different because you can feel the weight of the magazine at the bottom of your pack. You can’t shake the image of the woman on the cover and that metal through her breasts, can’t get over how elegant and edgy and bewitching she looked. You begin to wonder how it would feel to have Joel touch you if you had the same body modification—would his calloused hands feel more intense, sensations heightened with the sensitivity? Would he be gentle and slow-moving? How soft would his tongue feel against your skin over the adornment?
He seems to sense your distracted thoughts. “You okay? Seem quiet.”
“Fine,” you answer a little too quickly. “I’m just…just hot is all.”
Joel reaches behind him for his water bottle again but you shake your head.
“No, no. Not like…not like that.”
“Oh.” He clears his throat, and you can feel his eyes on the side of your face but you don’t have the energy to tease him about it. Not when you can’t stop thinking about his fucking hands. “Let's, uhm…let’s find someplace to rest for the night. Sun’s startin’ to set anyhow.”
“Yeah, that’ll be good.” As long as you stay six feet away from him. As long as you can keep your godforsaken hands to yourself. As long as he doesn’t look at you too long or ask too many questions or grunt an answer.
You find yourself praying, hoping to keep yourself from any further embarrassment, hoping to fight off that ache that seems to have made a home inside your belly. You cross your fingers at your sides and hope God’s got a private channel open for young girls with an insatiable desire for rugged, older men.
It feels like divine interference when you crest the hill of the street you're walking on to discover a run-down tattoo parlor. It still stands in perfect condition apart from the crumbling siding. Windows dirty but intact, door closed and stagnant.
A distraction will work.
And it looks sturdy enough to rest for the night. You know Joel will circle it a hundred times before he’s satisfied, but you think eventually he will be satisfied with it. “Didn’t people do piercings at tattoo shops, too?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah, they did. At most of them, anyway.”
The thought seems to cross Joel’s mind the second you look at him. “Do you think I could…?”
“Maybe. Let’s see.”
You follow behind him as he approaches the building. He uses his knife to wedge the door open, and the two of you wait and listen for any approaching sound.
There’s nothing, though. Nothing but stale, empty air, and a whole lot of dust. You stick by his side for the first two rounds of inspection, as is your routine. But when he goes back in for a third, you decide to take a look around yourself.
In the front of the parlor, there’s a big, circular desk that sits atop the black and white tiles on the floor. The walls are painted maroon, and there’s a neon yellow leather couch near the door. You can only assume it’s where people would sit to wait, but the leather is smooth beneath your fingers even after all this time sitting unoccupied.
There are six smaller rooms behind the desk, each set up similarly with a blackout curtain and a medical-looking chair in the very center. In one of the rooms, there’s a binder flipped open, and as you begin to turn the pages you realize it’s an art portfolio.
For a moment, you wonder about the person who’d drawn all of these designs. How old were they when they drew them? Did they have tattoos themselves? Are they still alive, out there somewhere still creating art?
People in Jackson still get tattoos, you know. But not as often as you think it might have been before the outbreak. You trail your fingers lightly over the next page. It’s an image of a glass half-filled with amber liquid, some sloshing out of the side. Below it, the words Tennessee Whiskey are written in cursive.
“Should be good.” His voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin. When you turn to face him, Joel’s got his rifle slung over one shoulder and he’s leaning against the doorframe, curtain pushed to the side. “Help me barricade the door?”
The two of you spend the next ten minutes moving furniture around the parlor, setting it all in front of the entrance. It’ll be harder to leave in the morning, you know. But you know, too, that a barricade like this means that Joel’s feeling too exhausted to spend another night pacing and you’re happy to give him the assurance of safety he needs.
When you’re done, he spreads out on the leather couch and you put your pack beside his. “Joel?”
He turns just his head to look at you.
You sift through the books in your pack and reach towards the bottom, pulling out the magazine that’s plagued your every waking thought. “I’m going to pierce my nipples, I think.”
For several seconds, he doesn’t say a word in response. He just swallows hard and when his eyes leave yours, trailing down your neck, he squeezes them closed before they reach your chest. But you know, you know, even without any words, that he’s thinking about it. That he’s thinking about you, forgetting his morals for a single second.
It isn’t until you stand to your feet and start towards the closed-off rooms, magazine in hand, that he finally speaks up.
“Be careful,” he says. “I don’t want you hurt.”
You smirk at him over your shoulder. “Is that the Mr. Miller version of saying, I care about your tits?”
He snorts incredulously, but a chuckle follows shortly after, erasing all of your earlier embarrassment.
It doesn’t take you long to find the materials you need. In one of the cases you pry open with your knife, you choose two matching silver barbells with dainty, white diamonds on each end. You use a cloth to clean off a tall mirror in one of the rooms, and there’s a bottle of isopropyl alcohol that you use to disinfect both a steel surgical tray and your hands.
You discard your shirt and bra, laying them in the chair in the middle of the room, and flip the magazine open to further observe the woman in the image. Thankfully, you find a drawer full of individually packaged needles and take out several just in case.
Sterilizing your hands with the alcohol again, you align the jewelry over your nipple, inspecting the placement and maneuvering it until you’re satisfied. You rip open one of the packaged needles with your teeth and sterilize it too for good measure.
Carefully, you orient the needle just right, inhale until your lungs ache, and when you exhale—
“God fucking dammit!”
You can hear his footsteps before the sound of his rifle, and then comes his voice. “You alright? What happened?”
Your exhale is somehow shakier than your hands. “I’m okay, Joel,” you say quickly. You knew it was going to hurt, you’re literally piercing a needle through your flesh. But you didn’t expect it to be so excruciating. It stings even now with the needle pushed through, completely still.
He stands in the doorway, rifle lowered and pointed at the ground. Through the reflection of the mirror, you can see him glance around the room, looking at everything but you. “Are you sure? Maybe you shouldn’t. This could be dangerous, you can wait until we’re back home and—”
“And have someone else pierce my nipples? Yeah, Joel, I’m good on all that.” You pick the jewelry up, sterilize it again, and breathe slowly as you push it through. This part, while uncomfortable, is a world easier than the piercing itself.
You twist on the tiny diamond ball at the end of the barbell and admire your work. It’s perfectly straight, much to your surprise. And though it’s just a small change, it makes you feel as entrancing as the woman in the magazine.
There’s no blood, which you take as a good sign. And as the seconds tick by the pain subsides and is replaced with a dull throbbing instead. It hurts, but it’s bearable. The only problem is that as you try to line up the second needle, your hands tremble too much to keep it straight.
Even though you try to take deep breaths, try to shake the tremors from your hand, nothing works. And you can’t just have one, can’t just leave this task unfinished, and so you gather your courage and turn fully towards him. “Joel? I need your help.”
You’ve never seen him quite like this, you think. There’s no flush to his face, no chagrin or hesitance or resistance. All of his morality seems to be replaced with a dark desire, a need unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.
Immediately you know this is the Joel Miller he’s tried so hard to hide from you. Only glimpses of this terrifying man have slipped through the facade, each one smothered quickly by restraint.
Yet here he stands, hungry eyes swallowing you up, tracing the outline of the jewelry without remorse.
“I can’t…my hands are shaky. I need you to do the other one.”
His hands twitch at his sides. And even though you now know he longs to touch you just as much as you want to touch him, his words tell an entirely different story. “I shouldn’t,” he says. “It’s not…it’s not right. Shouldn’t even be seein’ you like this. Too…too young. Too sweet.”
The southern accent in his voice is thicker now than you’ve ever heard it. Deep and husky, sending shivers down your spine. “Please, Mr. Miller.”
His eyes snap up to meet yours. He pins you with that intense stare of his and you suddenly can’t move, can’t breathe. Flickering flames gather low in your belly.
“I promise I won’t try anything. I’ll just stand here. I just need you to…to push the needle through. That’s all.”
It takes him a second, but he nods. “Alright…alright. I, uhm…okay. Yeah.” He nears you slowly and you feel crowded. You can smell the salt and sweat of his skin, can feel that warmth even though he doesn’t yet touch you.
You pour the alcohol over his hands and hand him another packaged needle. “Here,” you say. “Just do it as straight as you can, and once the needle’s in I can do the rest.”
Joel peels apart the packaging and takes the needle between his fingers. He discards the plastic and you can hear each of his ragged breaths echo in your ears. Slowly, experimentally, he reaches out and presses his fingertips just below your ribcage and it makes you moan.
He pulls away immediately as if he’d been burned by your skin. “You said you wouldn’t—”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. Hold on.” You try again to catch your breath to no avail. “Let me close my eyes. I’m sorry.”
Joel nods, jaw feathering as he clenches his teeth. But you do as you say, closing your eyes and trying to convince yourself it’s not Joel touching you. It’s someone else. The same person who drew everything in that portfolio.
But when he does touch you again, his hands are warm and calloused and big and familiar. You know it’s Joel. Your Joel. The brooding man of few words. The too-good man who cares about you, who lets you sleep even though he never does, who gives you his water to guarantee you stay hydrated.
His hand moves upwards, palm pressed flat against your ribcage. It stops just below your breast as if he’s feeling the weight of it in his hand and you wonder if he can feel the hammering of your heart behind your sternum, too.
You don’t have time to think about it for long, though. Because his thumb slides across your nipple, hardening it into a peak, and all you can think about is the fact that he’s touching you. He’s touching you and you want more, want to feel him on every inch of your skin.
This time you’re able to hold back your moan, but only barely. It’s more like a whimper that gets caught in your throat instead. But he doesn’t pull away, and soon his other hand joins in. “Should I…uhm,” he clears his throat. “Should I count, or…?”
You shake your head. “No, no. Just…just do it. Please.” The words are desperate for a whole new reason. Your hands tremble even more at your sides.
The biting cold of the steel reaches you before you feel the pain. You try to breathe through it but the second one is somehow even worse and obscenities fall from your lips at the agony. It hurts so badly that you don’t even register as Joel slides the jewelry through and screws the diamond onto the barbell.
Ultimately, it’s his voice that cuts through the fog.
“Hey, hey. Shh. Hey, c’mon. Finished. Look at me, pretty girl. Open your eyes.” You do because that thick, southern drawl is more enticing than anything you’ve ever heard. You’d follow it anywhere, you think. Do anything it asks. “There you go. Atta girl.”
His words make your mouth water. You want to taste them. Joel’s hands are still on you, holding your hips, pressing into the exposed flesh. It’s all you can think about until he turns you away from him, forcing you to look into the mirror on the wall. “Oh my God.”
It surprises you a little just how much you love them. It makes you look powerful, like you are the one who belongs in a magazine.
“They’re perfect, Joel.”
“Did it hurt too bad?”
The question is so insane that it makes you laugh. “Are you kidding? It was awful. I don’t even know what to compare it to to try and explain it.”
He laughs too, a deep, throaty chuckle that brings a smile to your face. “Well, you have my sincere apologies, little lady.”
When you turn back to face him, you ask, “What do you think? Do they look good?”
You know you said you wouldn’t torture him, but the look on his face is so sweet that you can’t resist. “They’re real pretty,” he says. “They, uh…they suit you.”
“Think so?” You look up at him through your lashes, trying your damndest to look as desperate for him as you are. “Hurts a little,” you tell him, pressing your thumb gently over the center of your nipple, the one you’d pierced on your own. “Right here.”
He sees right through your false pretenses. You watch him swallow, watch his eyes darken. “Careful, little girl,” he warns, voice low and gravelly.
The name makes you squirm beneath his catastrophic gaze, thighs pressing together. He catches the movement—and you realize you want to be anything but careful with this terrifying, powerful man. Of course, you don’t heed his warning. “Might help if you kiss it better, you know.”
“S’that right?” You nod and a sinful smirk pulls at the corners of his full lips. He leans down and you can feel the scruff of his beard brushing the side of your face. Against your ear, he whispers, “You don’t know what you’re askin’ for, sweetheart.”
You know you shouldn’t. You know it, and yet you can’t fucking resist. You’ve never been able to resist him. “Then show me.”
And just like that, his resolve withers. The cord snaps and the good Joel you know vanishes into thin air, leaving nothing but this hungry, desperate man behind. He grabs your waist and hauls you up against him, legs wrapping around his hips on instinct.
Your chest presses against his but the pressure is bliss, fighting off both the ache in your breasts and the one between your legs. He swipes everything off the metal table in the corner. Alcohol and needles and portfolio all crashing to the floor.
Joel sets you atop it and his mouth hovers an inch above yours, breath fanning across your cheeks. “Last chance, little girl,” he says.
He’s giving you an out, you realize. One last opportunity to escape him. You lean up and press your lips tenderly to his instead.
It’s answer enough for him.
Joel’s mouth moves greedily against yours. One hand rests against the small of your back, pressing you against him, and the other holds the nape of your neck. His tongue slips into your mouth. He tastes like honey and whiskey and sunlight. You could drown in it, you think. But Joel doesn’t linger for long.
He trails open mouthed kisses down your neck, your chest—-and when he flicks his soft tongue across your nipple, your back arches and you forget how to breathe.
“Joel,” you say, voice needy and desperate. “Touch me. Please touch me.”
His hands flex against your skin, still holding himself back. You don't understand—can’t he feel how much you want it? Can’t he see it on your face, in your eyes? “I want to,” he admits.
You grind your hips against his and the sensation of the bulge in his jeans against your center has you shaking. “What’s stopping you?”
A self-deprecating laugh bubbles out of his throat. He presses his forehead against yours, kisses the tip of your nose gently. “You make me crazy, pretty girl.” His hand comes around your throat, cradling your face. With the rough pad of his thumb, he traces the outline of your lips and says, “You make me feel like I’m eighteen again.” His hand travels lower, down your neck, knuckles dragging between your breasts. “Like I’m some little boy who gets a hard-on over a bra strap.” Lower, down your belly, between your ribs. “Or these fuckin’ shorts, baby.”
Everything aches for him. Every cell in your body has been lit aflame beneath his touch, longing to feel his hands, his tongue, to feel all of him. “Joel,” you say. “Please.”
He kisses a trail that follows the path of his hand, but this time he stalls at your breasts. “Sound so fuckin’ pretty when you beg,” he mutters against your skin. And then he’s kissing and sucking and biting marks into the softness of your breast, leaving proof that he was here, evidence of his affection. “If I touch you, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
“I want you to,” you say. “ I think about it all the time.” Your head falls back, hips rolling against his, seeking out any sort of friction you can find. “God—I dream about it. I want you inside me.”
His eyes darken as he looks up at you.
A man of few words. This time it’s him who reaches for the metallic button. He pops it open in one smooth movement, tongue lapping over the metal barbell through your nipple. You can feel each pass over the sensitive flesh down to your toes.
He wriggles his hand into your shorts, deft fingers finding your clit easily. You let out a lewd moan at the commanding way he just takes —as if he’s right where he’s always supposed to be. Right where you want him, right where you’ve needed him for all these years.
Joel kisses a path across your sternum, mouth giving the same tender care to the opposite breast. He slides his fingers through your wetness, gathering your slick and using it to circle your clit. “M’gonna take care of her, sweetheart,” he says. “Gonna make her feel real good, s’that alright with you?”
His words are filthy and obscene and you love it. You’re nodding quickly and saying, “Yes, Joel, yes.”
A cold shiver passes through you as he rises back to his full height, towering over you when he takes a step back. “Let’s get these off,” he says. Joel helps you shimmy both your shorts and your panties down your legs until you’re sitting there in front of him completely naked. He’s still completely dressed and it makes you feel small and minuscule beneath the weight of his predatory stare.
He places both hands on your thighs and pushes them apart, spreading you open. And then he drops to his knees and lazily strokes his fingers through your wet heat. You can feel the chill of his breath against your clit and your fingers find the outgrown tendrils of dark hair on instinct, trying to pull him closer, wiggling your hips to the very edge of the table.
“Needy girl, hm?” He laughs softly. It’s not malicious but rather adoring, and you wonder how it is that someone so strong and authoritative can make you feel powerful and cherished in the same breath. “S’okay. I’ve got ya.”
And then his tongue is on you and it feels like heaven. So much better than you’d ever imagined, ever dreamed. His scruff scratches at the inside of your thighs as he slides his tongue through your pussy. Joel groans against you like this is more for him, and the vibration of the sound pulls staccato moans from your mouth.
He slips two fingers into you easily, encountering no resistance. You’re too wet, too eager to have him inside you. You whimper his name as he sucks your clit into his mouth, hands pulling tight in his hair. It feels so good it’s almost too much—but he seems to know what you can take more than you do.
Joel looks up at you from between your thighs and you can see the palpable hunger on his face. You think maybe he’s wanted this for longer than you, maybe he’s somehow been even more starved for this than you once thought.
You can feel your orgasm creep down your spine, inferno building and building, settling low in your belly. You try to tell him, to warn him—but then he hooks his fingers inside of you, pressing against that sweet spot and—
“Oh, God—God, fuck—Joel, I—!”
“S’alright, baby, go’head. Cum for me, oh—yeah, that’s it. There you go, sweetheart.” His voice is so gentle, a stark contrast to the assertive way he moves his hands, pulling from you everything your body can give. The southern accent is thick as he talks you through it. “Feels so much better now, huh? Y’look so fuckin’ pretty like this, baby. So pretty when you’re all full’a me.”
Your thighs tremble even as you begin to come down, trying to catch your breath, holding onto his arms to ground yourself as he stands back to his feet, thick cords of muscle sturdy beneath your shaking hands. And he’s right—it does feel better now, but as he eases his fingers out of you and you watch him lick them clean, your pussy clenches at the sight. It’s better, it is… but when it comes to good and moral Joel Miller you are insatiable.
A deep, rumbling groan reverberates in his chest when you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him towards you. Your slick stains the bulge in his jeans, darkening the denim material. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says, big hands running slowly up and down your smooth thighs. “Shouldn’t be doin’ this…shouldn’t be takin’ advantage of you. Such a little thing, don’t know what you want.”
The answer comes quickly. “You, Joel. I want you.”
You reach for his belt and he watches your nimble fingers undo it, pulling the leather through the metal fastening. He hisses when you reach into his jeans and pull him out.
He’s bigger than you thought, and wrapping your hand around him completely is a troubling task. You’re not sure he’ll even fit but it makes your mouth water, makes your swollen clit pulse with need. “Please.”
“I can’t, baby. Believe me, I want it, too, but I…you’re too good for me. Too—” He stops when you slide the head of his cock through your pussy, coating him in your slick. You watch the movement together and this time it’s Joel’s hands that shake. He curses under his breath, admiring the way he fits so perfectly.
“Just a little?” Your own voice is hardly recognizable in your own ears, needy and deprived. You slide his cock back up towards your clit and it catches at your entrance. You both gasp in tandem. You love Joel and all his goodness but right now you want the worst of him. You want all of him.
He nods and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Okay…okay,” he says to himself. “Just a little. You sure? You’re positive you want—?”
You line him up and shift your hips forward, words fading into nothingness. It’s just a little like you promised, but the stretch is so delicious you find yourself wanting more. More, always more—you think you could die without it.
Joel pushes in further, a little less than halfway, and then pulls out slowly. He groans and you feel like crying. His cock is covered in your wetness and when he pushes back in you think this just might be enough to make you cum a second time.
It’s filthy and obscene and you love it. You love him. He reaches down and circles your clit with his thumb, fucking you slowly, eyes locked on the place you’re joined. “You’re so big,” you whimper.
You can feel the tension in his shoulders and you do your damnedest to smooth it out with small, massaging motions. He touches you just right but you want it to feel good for him, too.
That heat of an orgasm begins to build again. A low, incessant thrum between your hips.
“I have to,” he mutters so softly you hardly hear him the first time. “I have to, baby. I’ve gotta feel you. I’ve gotta…” And then he eases his cock into you to the hilt without any warning, filling you so full it hurts. The invasion stings but your body adjusts quickly, making room for him in the same way your heart has. His head falls to the crook of your neck and you can feel him shudder as he breathes the word fuck into your skin.
“Oh my God—it’s too much, too much—!”
“You can take it, baby. C’mon, spread your legs wider. I know s’alot,” he praises, circling your clit a little faster now. Your slick drips down your thighs, into the dark hair between his hips. “You got it, sweetheart. See? There you go.”
He pulls out just to sink into you again. This time there’s less pain and more divinity and your nails dig into his shoulder through his flannel as you adjust to the size of him.
Joel uses his free hand to tilt your chin up, pressing his mouth to yours and kissing you deep. He sets an unrelenting pace, hips grinding against yours with each thrust. It’s so much and you’re so full of him in all the best ways. When you moan into his mouth you can feel his lips turn up at the corners, a predatory grin saved just for you.
The sounds are filthy and echo in the room, an obscene symphony of devotion. You’d let him do anything right now—anything.
He picks up the pace, hips snapping against yours. All you can think about is how right this feels, how you were made for him, how well he fits inside you.
A low grunt filters through his teeth and he says, “Fuck, baby. You look so pretty. How’s it feel? Tell me. Use your words.”
“S’good,” you whimper in response. Your brain is mush and your thighs become a vise around his waist, pulling him in impossibly deeper. “So good, Joel, don’t stop. Please don’t stop, I’m—I’m close.”
“Yeah? Gonna cum again already, hm?” He pushes his palm against your belly, thumb still gently stroking your clit. And the pressure of it feels so intense you let out a whine of bliss. “Yeah, you are,” he whispers. “Can feel her squeezin’ me. S’alright, baby. Wanna feel it.”
His words send you tumbling over the edge of bliss, and he fucks you through it. Stars blind your vision and your ears fill with static. But you can hear Joel though, can hear him and feel him deep inside you through it all.
“Ohh, that’s it. Good fuckin’ girl. Pretty little thing’s just fuckin’ dripping all over me, feels so good. You feel so good.”
Before you even realize what’s happening, his rhythm falters. You can feel his cock pulse inside of you as Joel falls off the precipice. His head rolls back and the muscles in his forearms flex around the prominent veins. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, and you know you’ll never see anything as beautiful as this big, powerful man weak for you.
He’s panting when he slowly pulls out of you with a hiss. Sweat dots his hairline and that flush on his neck certainly seems like it’s staying for a little while longer. He’s beautiful, you think. Crafted by the hands of God himself, made with imperfect grace.
When he looks up at you he smiles in the way he always does, like the two of you share a secret. And maybe now you do. A sinful, dirty secret that’s all yours. You laugh softly and he mirrors the sound, helping you back to your feet.
You hold his shoulders for balance as he helps you back into your shorts. And when he hands you your bra and t-shirt, you’re starkly reminded of the dull throb in your breasts and think better of it before putting them on. “I think they might be too tight. I’ll look around and see if I can…”
Before you finish the sentence, he’s unbuttoning his red flannel and tossing it to you. He wears a light brown tshirt underneath, the arms just a little too tight on his biceps. He looks so good that you want to take him between your legs again even with the sweet ache that lingers. “Here,” he says. “Take this.”
You do. He helps you with the buttons and it’s too big but gives your new body modifications room to breathe and heal. You ask him how it looks.
“Better on you,” is his short response.
When you begin to fall asleep on the yellow leather couch later that night, all wrapped up in his arms, Joel presses his lips to your forehead and says, “When we get home, I wanna read that book of yours. Carrie, was it?”
You shift at his side, turning your head up to look at him. “You’re not gonna wait till October, like I said?”
Joel shakes his head. “You got any idea how old I am, girl? I’ve got no time for waitin’ till October.” He’s quiet for several seconds. And then his voice is nothing but a whisper as he says, “No time waitin’ on this to be right in the eyes of others, either.”
And you can feel the heat behind his words, can almost hear the unspoken meaning. No time for waiting until you’re older, no time for waiting until the perfect moment. Your mouth pulls into a wide grin. “Are you asking to go steady with me, Mr. Miller?”
With a scoff, he runs his hand playfully down your face and shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous,” he says.
When he kisses you, you make a promise against his lips. “I’m yours, Joel.”
He doesn’t say much in the way of a reply, your big man of few words. But he pulls you closer, holds you tighter.
It’s more than enough.
#joel miller#ao3 fanfic#pearlessance#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#ao3 writer#joel tlou#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#joel the last of us#tlou#joel miller self insert#smut#fanfic#tlou fanfiction#fluff#jackson era joel
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oh cruel, heartless fate



pairing: jingyuan x reader
genre: angstober, events
summary: yanqing's curiosity gets the better of him, resulting in jingyuan to reveal a bit of his past
word count: 1.1k
a/n: father jingyuan occupies my thoughts like nothing else. fun fact! this was slightly inspired by this one hoyolab post that i saw, where they were pointing out that yanqing has a protection charm on his left shoulder !!
ever since he could remember, yanqing had followed behind jingyuan like a shadow, under his watchful gaze as he trained, ate, even when the general was writing his papers.
as a curious little boy aged ten, he did what any unsupervised child did, when they were left to their own devices for the first time ever.
yanqing’s eyes glowed as he imagined finding legendary sword scripts and long-lost manuals in the bookshelf of the famous dozing general. he started snooping through the vast collection of the general’s books, hoping that behind, or in one of them, he would find the answer to becoming the swordmaster of all of xianzhou.
instead, he found an old and frayed box, worn with age and nestled between two books, which clattered to the floor.
when jingyuan came back into the room, he had found yanqing, crouching on the floor, staring thoughtfully at a box lying on the floor. in his hands, he mercilessly tore at a flower, with every fall of the petal, some words from his mouth.
“i can open it.”
“i ask the general.”
“i can open it.”
“i ask the general.”
raising an eyebrow in amusement, jingyuan silently padded behind the boy, his presence staying unknown.
“yanqing,” his deep voice rumbled from behind, amusement colouring his tone. he crossed his arms against his chest, peering down with a knowing look. “what are you doing?” like a cat that had been startled, yanqing lept into the air, eyes wide with surprise and cheeks flushed with horror.
“general,” he stuttered, eyes dancing across the room, refusing to meet jingyuan’s, guilt painted on his face. “i just found a box…”
yanqing’s head drooped, his golden hair covering his face, making his expression unreadable.
“i was wondering what it was about.”
it had taken the young lieutenant 3 days of pleading, persuasion and promises of not spending his money carelessly on swords before the dozing general finally gave into yanqing’s puppy dog eyes.
gently picking out the delicate box, the general sauntered towards his seat, dropping into it with the lazy gait of a cat. across the table, yanqing sat perched on his designated armchair, eyes wide with curiosity and beaming with joy. if he had a tail, it would almost fall off with how excitedly he was wagging it.
jingyuan flipped open the box, taking out the contents with care. out of it fell a set of golden rings and a jiāsuǒ.
yanqing watched as his general, no, his father figure’s eyes softened with a far away look.
“yanqing,” jingyuan began, licking his lips tentatively. “today, i’ll introduce you to [name], or in other words, your other parent.”
he had been a young soldier then, fresh from the horrors of war. the sky was bright with the twinkle of stars, artificial light warming in interiors of houses.
as he was strolling down the arum alley, the calming scent of tea floated down with the wind. nearby, he spotted a newly opened teahouse. thankfully, there weren’t many customers inside, with the owner sitting by their counter, their nose buried in a book.
gently pushing open the door, jingyuan entered, sitting down at a nearby table. the owner started in their chair, surprised that a customer had come at such a time.
“what brings you here?” they questioned, tilting their head curiously, as they set down their book with care, picking up a menu and walking over to where jingyuan sat.
oh how funny fate could be, for it was there, when jingyuan crossed paths with the one he was destined to be with.
yanqing watched as jingyuan’s gaze seemed to look beyond him, thinking of warmer times, when his battle wounds were cafeully bandaged with loving hands and the flutter of kisses ghosting across his skin.
the corner of jingyuan’s lips twitched into a wry smile.
“it had taken me a good half a year of persuasion and courting before they finally agreed to go out with me.” jingyuan sighed, amusement evident in his voice.
“you would’ve loved them, yanqing,” jingyuan continued, eyes pooling with sadness. “they’re just like you, the most stubborn yet admirable person i have ever met.”
yanqing remained silent, entrapped in this beautiful love story that jingyuan had begun to weave.
the years passed by slowly. often times, jingyuan wondered how you two became a couple. you were dedicated to your work, while he took the chance to slack off when possible. and yet, your relationship blossomed like a flower in spring.
he had popped the big question during your anniversary dinner, stunning the waiters and customers in the restaurant, while you were left gaping like a fish out of water.
with a flourish, he had knelt down on one knee, presenting beautifully decorated jewel box in front of you, sincerity in his voice as he asked to marry you.
oh how cruel and heartless fate could be.
it gave jingyuan his whole world, yet in a moment, it ripped it away from him, leaving jingyuan alone in this desolate world.
you died in his arms, too young to be taken away. even in your death, you didn’t forget about your work, requesting that he take care of your teahouse.
“when i die,” you smiled up at him, radiance beaming from your face. even in death, you looked like an angel sent from heaven. “i hope you can give everything i hold dear to the one the aeons send in my place.”
from within your hanfu, you produced a protection charm.
“give this to them, when you feel the time is right.”
then, jingyuan had furrowed his brows in confusion.
“àirén,” he whispered, voice cracking with sorrow. “no one would ever be able to replace you. i only need you, please, keep your eyes open, for me!”
looking at yanqing who sat opposite him, jingyuan finally knew the meaning behind your words.
the aeons had sent yanqing in your place, to bring light to his world again.
with a bitter smile, jingyuan gathered up one of the rings into his hand, slipping it onto a chain.
jingyuan beckoned yanqing to hold out his hand, placing both the heavy jiāsuǒ into his. yanqing cradled the valuable accessories like they were an egg, eyes wide with surprise.
“what-,” he stuttered, confusion painted on his face. “why are you giving me this?”
jingyuan’s deep chuckle echoed around the room.
“well,” jingyuan lamented, chuckling into his hand in amusement. “they were great friends with lady fuxuan after all, so she must’ve given them a hint.”
yanqing looked at the precious jiāsuǒ with wide eyes of delight. a gift, from his other parent, specially prepared beforehand for him. even though he would never get the chance to meet them in this life, he could feel the love and comfort the item radiated.
“you really are just like them.” jingyuan laughed, voice filled with mirth. “they would’ve wanted you to have it.”
footnotes:
1. jiāsuǒ (家锁) also called 百家锁 (bǎijiāsuǒ)— a traditional chinese talismanic item that relatives or parents would give to their children, believing it can protect the wearer from harm, misfortune and evil spirits. it is also believed that it can bless them with good luck, longevity and a high ranking.
2. àirén (爱人) — a gender neutral term that can be translated to 'lover'. in this scenario, it is used as a term of endearment.
∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳) © curated with love by milkbobatyun 2024 / づ ♡
#jing yuan x reader#honkai star rail#jing yuan x you#hsr x reader#jing yuan#jing yuan hsr x reader#jingyuan x reader#honkai star rail x reader#jing yuan x y/n#jing yuan angst#jingyuan fluff#yanqing#hsr yanqing#angst#angstober#angst oneshot#jingyuan x reader angst
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A Quick Chat
'Absolutely not!'
'I'm just gonna talk with him!'
Following the quickly escalating shouts down to the Batcave Bruce found Dick and a heavily armed Tim at each other's throats while their siblings oh so helpfully egged them on.
They were arguing about Wally and their last universal saving mission for some reason and Tim had nearly every contingency he could think of to handle a speedster on him.
-nna talk, that's it!'
'Then you can leave the gear here!'
'What's going on?'
All of his children froze, finally realizing he was here before they started shouting over each other.
'You remem-'
'-ick's trying to-'
'Father Dr-'
'-ng crazy, just because the universe re-'
'Enough!'
'Now, can someone tell me what's going on or do I have to get Alfred?'
And Jason was happy enough to tell him. 'Replacement's pissed because we finally discovered a pretty big difference with the universe after the League hit the reset button.'
Multiple screens on the Batcomputer held information on new heroes, a Junior JLD and everything Tim could dig up on two individuals. The first one was Phantom, a new addition to the Titans and had a number of detailed conspiracy theories tracking his appearances through time while the other held the detailed background information of a recently graduated Daniel James Fenton. Tim had dug up everything from his kindergarten grades to... Oh... Oh no... That explains why they were arguing about Wally.
Most of Daniel's latest online post covered his move to Gotham, his new job offer working in their engineering department and his new boyfriend Bernard. Looking at it all made it painfully easy to piece together that... 'They stole my life!'
And Dick and Tim were arguing again but Bruce knew it wouldn't get too heated and focused his attention on the gathered information. It was easy to see that a number of encounters his kids (mainly his oldest three) should have had with the Titans were adjusted just enough to fit Phantom now and Tim's involvement with the Children of Dionysus had been shifted around to involve Daniel in this new universe.
'-e universe reset doesn't mean you can ruin their lives. Phantom seems like a good kid.'
'Dowd would have left you eventually.'
Dick had to hold Tim back from launching himself at Damien while Jason and Steph stood by egging the two of them on, but then Tim got that look in his eye when Duke brought up the idea of reintroducing himself and everyone noticed.
'No.'
'Come on. Tim, you don't need another restraining order.'
'But it didn't happen in this universe so it doesn't count.'
'It counts if we still remember it!'
But Tim wasn't listening, too busy changing out of all of his gear as a plan quickly started forming together in his mind.
Why waste time with Wally when he can just as easily win over the new couple while ignoring everything else he's learned from his friends.
He'd figure it out one mess at a time. After he won Bernard back he'd figure out the situation between Red Robin and Phantom.
-_- -_- -_-
Reading over the sticky note Danny couldn't help but wonder what Clockwork meant when he wrote 'Have Fun'.
Again, I blame my medication for this, but this came from a couple of different prompts about Tim, Bernard and Danny and I just sort of went with it. Basically the main roster of the League has to stop (Pick a threat) and end up resitting the universe again. The problem is they still remember the old universe so they spend a week or two looking up any big changes and a sleep deprived Tim starts believing he barely knows Bernard in this universe when he's actually dating him and Danny. He just hasn't dug deep enough to figure out his own connection.
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carry the weight of you | s.r
A/N: i had this posted on an old blog but here's this, idk if i like it but it's also one of my first fics so if lemme know if you have thoughts <3
cw: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, reader is sad, depression ?, spencer is a cutie who just wants to love, can be read as gn!reader
wc: 1.8k
_______________________________________________
it was supposed to be a routine case. well, not a routine case. those don’t really exist in the bau, but one that had a clear MO and decent enough leads that garcia could easily use to find the unsub. it wasn’t even a case that was especially creepy in nature, lord knows those give the whole bureau nightmares for days.
so why did you feel this way?
you were relatively new to the team—having one year under your belt to your near decades experienced colleagues. but you had rightfully earned your spot in the bau, and you deserved to be there.
but right now you had no energy to believe that. the ache in your chest was ever present from your younger days, courtesy of the circumstances from your upbringing, and you should’ve expected that joining the fbi would’ve only made it heavier. you bared it nonetheless because that’s what you were taught to do. you felt beaten down by the last few days, and just couldn’t wait to get back home and crawl into your bed.
the team had wrapped up the case, and you all were on the jet flying back home to the district. sat next to the ever observant dr. reid, he noticed your glazed eyes and distant aura exuding from you.
“you okay?” he bumps your shoulder bringing you out of your trance.
“i’m fine, don’t worry about me.” you replied curtly and tried to fold into the crevice between the seat and the walls of the plane.
“bold of you to lie to a profiler while on a plane full of profiles,” he chuckled lightly, “seriously, you look troubled. are you sure you don’t wanna play honesty hour right now?”
“spence, i’m okay, I promise.” you tried your best at a genuine smile that was as see through as a windexed window. he returned it with his own thin lipped smile and left you be.
were you okay? you don’t even know how long you’ve felt like this. small, insignificant, nothing. you do great work at your job, tarnishing evil and saving lives. but you can’t help but find it ironic that it’s your own mind working against you that seems to be your demise.
the jet landed around midnight and the team shuffled through the bullpen to gather their belongings before going home. everyone offered their goodbyes and goodnights and spencer was waiting for you by the door. you both lived in the same apartment building, only because when you first moved to quantico you had no one and knew no one. spencer took it upon himself to help you out, being the newest young rookie on the team, a position he was all too familiar with. his next door neighbor had moved out for an immediate job offer and was looking for a subletter and lo and behold, spencer had become your best friend.
in the few months that you were getting accustomed to the area spencer invited you over for nightly chess games and doctor who marathons. morgan always teased the two of you saying you should be going out on the town having fun only young people can have, and spencer would blush and stammer something out but you would have the brightest smile and look at him saying they were the most fun you’ve had.
so he was surprised to say the least when those nights started to become far and few. you would politely decline and spencer would assume you’d finally listened to morgan and got better plans. but he could hear the patter of your footsteps and the occasional expletive from when you’d hit a table corner and wondered what he did to make you recluse yourself again.
spencer was a profiler after all, mix that with being your closest friend and he could pinpoint the moments you started to change. you’d started making less jokes, even during moments where the team would pause and wait for a little quip from you but hear nothing. you were harder to gain attention from, usually needing three or four calls to get you to even look up. and he just saw you distancing yourself, almost like you didn’t want anyone to perceive you.
spencer loved you. he wouldn’t say it out loud or admit to anyone but point blank he loved you. he felt understood in a way that no one else made him feel. you were kind, smart, funny, and the empathy you held for others was enough to make him tear up. you were there for him when maeve died, letting him cry on your shoulder, and as fucked up as it sounds he realized he loved you in those moments leaking tears onto the stomach of your sweater.
so here stood spencer in front of your desk, “you heading home?” you nodded, “mind if i ride with you? i don’t feel like taking the metro this late.”
“okay, let’s go.”
the walk to your car was silent, and somehow the ride back to your apartment complex was even more silent. walking up the stairs to your apartment doors, you turn the key and step in when spencer goes, “hey actually i think i left my book at your place do you mind if i just look for it really quick?”
you stared at him blankly. you just wanted to be alone and he wants to get his book now? unbeknownst to you spencer was desperate to get to the bottom of your melancholia, and needed any in he could find right now to get there.
nonetheless you nodded your head and left the door open behind you so he could walk in. you dropped your bags and shoes at the front door and trudged through your apartment to your kitchen to put tea on the kettle. you softly called out to him, “do you want a cup of tea?”
“i’d love a cup.” he says sitting on your couch.
you’re fussing around the kitchen getting two mugs out— one doctor who and one snoopy mug. you fill the doctor who one up and add a lemon slice and turn around grabbing your snoopy mug. when you turn back towards the kettle you hit the corner of the island table and watch as your favorite mug drops and shatters into millions of pieces.
when they say a straw is what breaks the camel’s back you fully understand what they mean now because how are you about to lose all your shit over a snoopy mug. you don’t even make an effort to move, just staring at the broken pieces on the floor, trying to make sense of them like a kid pointing out cloud shapes. it’s like you can see the pieces molding into the demons that keep you up at night, the thoughts of uselessness and lethargy personifying in front of you.
spencer has to call your name three times before you finally move your eyes to meet his. you can see his lips moving but you can’t hear him, his hands are out as if he’s telling you to stay put oh wait he is. you wait as he finds your dustpan and broom and brushes up the remains into the trashcan. he slowly approaches you and maneuvers you towards the living room where you sit still glossy eyed and trembling.
he sits down next to you and places a hand on your bouncing knee to soothe it, “why won’t you talk to me?”
you shake your head, “it’s nothing spence, it’s not a big deal i can buy a new mug.” push it down.
“not that, something’s not right. and i want to help. will you let me help you?”
you feel the tears making their way up your face to make their grand exit, and you hold on to last bit of resolve you can as you shakily breathe, “i-, i can’t, it’s stupid and we see so much worse stuff so i have to keep it together and i am but today was just-“ you abruptly got up to get water from the kitchen before finishing your sentence. grabbing a glass from the cupboard, filling it up at the sink, and gulping it down with shaky hands. you set the glass down and placed your hands on the cool counter in an attempt to tether yourself to some string of reality that was left. you couldn’t burden him. you wouldn’t.
spencer gives you a minute alone before rising from the couch and walking into the kitchen. he approaches you slowly from behind, mirroring his hands on top of yours, entrapping you in his warm embrace. “i think you’re carrying so much,” he whispers gently in your ear, “you don’t have to do it by yourself. it’s okay to not be okay.”
the tears win and start streaming down your face silently. spencer continues, “what we do, it’s hard. we all have ways of not letting it get to us. rossi and his cigars, hotch and jack, garcia and her tchotchkes, i mean even emily with her sin city weekends.” you let out a wet laugh in response.
spencer doubles down and intertwines his fingers with yours, “my point is, you are not alone. i am here. let me carry some of it for you, please.”
letting out a soft sob you twist in his arms and burrow yourself into his sweatered chest. this was a new feeling for you, letting someone in to see the horrors that you worked so hard to suppress. why would anyone want to brave that journey? surely you weren’t worth the effort.
but as spencer tightened his arms around you, rubbing his hands soothingly down your back and placing a kiss at the crown of your head, you felt that even if the walls of your resolve came crumbling down that spencer would be there to catch as much as he could. and that was enough.
“thank you,” you mumbled tearily incoherent.
“i will always be here for you, no need to thank me sweetheart.”
his kindness overwhelmed you. how could someone who sees so much darkness and been through so much still hold the level of kindness he does?
you lifted your head slightly as his hand came up to cradle the back of your head, “so, what do you have?”
he hummed quizzically in response. you continued, “you said everyone has ways of getting through it, what’s yours?”
“it’s you,” spencer softly says with the most tender loving look in his eyes, smoothing your hair back as he looks down at you in his arms, “it’s always been you.”
your eyes welled up even more and squeezed him tighter if it were even possible. spencer had you. and now you had spencer.
the next day you show up to work, a snoopy mug with a gift bow sits on your desk.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x you#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert
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Uranus in the Ascendant Persona Chart - Signs
This post is mainly for my interpretation of the degrees as no one alive has Uranus in aries (well they'd be super duper old). So no one has the right to call me a fakestrologer. Since this is Uranus, it won't have a romantic undertone as my other posts have about venus for example.
★Aries (1,13,25°): This placement just screams to be rebel. You are known to stand out and you're known for what you represent and your beliefs. You may defend your ideologies and take it personally when other disagree. Very cute energy.
★Taurus (2,14,26°): Taurus and Uranus, you may be known for doing whatever the f*ck you want. You know what you need and you're going to get it. I would say taurus is radicalised in Uranus.
★Gemini (3,15,27°): You're perceived as a madman, thoughts bussing wanting to offend others with your wit. Think better because no one has a mind as sharp as yours. You may seen to want shock others and shake their inner world and make them see the things that they missed.
★Cancer (4,16,28°): You may be seen for your unique perspectives on family dynamics and motherhood. Maybe you reject it maybe you embrace it, you're anywhere but the middle. A rebuilding of family dynamics is present with this placement maybe you're known for your association with your found family.
★Leo (5,17,29°): This a bit of an unique placement to have, being that you may be known for your want to be unique and your strive and effort into making that come to life. Rather than in humanitarian or tech it may be through more creative means.
★Virgo (6,18°) : You may be known to be quite picky for what you choose to stand up for being that you want to analyse everything. However when you be rebel it's in a 'umm actually you're this way not this'. This is one of the lesser rebellious degrees to have Uranus in.
★Libra (7,19°): You may be known for you unique taste in partners and friends. others may be surprised to see you get along with xyz people. Or your sense of style, maybe you dress a bit unconventional compared to your environment.
★Scorpio (8,20°): OOOOFFF Uranus the planet of rebellion in scorpioo/scorpio degree talk about conflicting. You may be seen as a very possessive and know it all, being that you carry such intensity in your and your rebellion is translated because you care.
★Saggitarius (9,21°): You may be seen as a very fun and explorative type of innovator. Perhaps people have told you 'don't explore this, don't talk to them' but you did it anyways. No one can stop you from getting where you need to be.
★Capricorn (10,22°): You may be seen as a strategist who puts long term strategic thinking when you want to rebel but rather than destroying the system and rebuilding it. Rather you want to rebuild the status quo from the top. Such a girl boss placement.
★Aquarius ( 11,23°): You maybe seen as a bit too innovative a humanitarian a person who cares about others and wants to see them succeed. A person who transcends bound through their individuality and their authenticity.
★Pisces (12,24°): Your rebellion is seen through you're unconditional love for others how you worships and your blind faith. Peoplemay see you as unreasonable but they don't understand the wonder of who you are.

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DISCLAIMER: this post is a great generalisation and may not resonate with you. I would recommend buying a reading from a professional astrologer (me) to get more insight
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