#wondering if he picked the lock or if he just stole the key too lmao
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In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter
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Forelsket | 8 - Not a Dream
Tsukishima Kei x f!Reader
Note: Out of embarrassment, you closed your eyes during the whole process.
A/n: A little short but finally LMAO.
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Perhaps you never quite forgot about the pretty boy, who had quite literally swept you off your feet and stole a kiss from you. Soft-looking blonde hair and a warm shade of honey brown eyes. Tall and stoic, a mysterious kind of guy maybe.
Yet, all of that was ruined when he decided to open his mouth. A very soft... or harsh... reminder that boys were just not it for you right now. Gosh, if only. You really might have taken Kuroo’s advice to move on by finding a new beau. Was the world just against you, that it decided the men in your life were all shit. Besides Kenma of course.
Kuroo was debatable.
So when you wake up the day after you return to Tokyo, world pitch black from the eye mask you didn’t know you had, you weren’t expecting the foreign contents of what was supposed to be your room.
“Tetsu?” You yawn, confused why your bed felt emptier. The middle blocker had been sleeping over, and you really hope he’s not destroying your kitchen in attempt to cheer you up from yet another barrage of calls from your ex.
You froze. Was that your voice? Were you sick? Slipping off the eye mask, you set it down on the bed. Ignoring your abnormally larger hard, you brush your palm over the mattress. Were these your bed sheets? You don’t quite remember having this color. Glancing around, you don’t even remember ever having such bad eyesight.
Through the blurry blobs, you spot glasses on the nightstand and don them as you examine your surroundings. You notice the shelves lined with figures of dinosaurs and the school uniform and volleyball jersey that hangs on hooks on the door to your room... at least whoever’s room you were in.
You were either kidnapped by a prehistorical nerd, or your childhood friend had somehow changed the whole layout of your room within hours. The latter didn’t seem to convincing, but knowing Kuroo, it was still possible.
Scratching your head, you squeeze your eyes shut at your lack of longer hair. Soft and short strands met your fingertips as you swear to any god out there, if Kuroo Tetsurou cut your hair in your sleep as some sort of prank - he was going to meet his death.
Slipping out of bed, you glance down at your abnormally longer legs. You’re equally as weirded out as you stand and find that you reach the height of the doorway when you leave the confines of the room and into an unfamiliar hallway. Through trial and error, you find the bathroom, switching on the lights as you glance at the mirror.
Your heart stops.
Was... was that you?
“Hah?!” You exclaim in shock, gripping the edges of the counter to stare at your reflection. Familiar honey eyes stare back in mirrored shock, wide in disbelief, as you recognize the face of the pretty boy from just the day before.
Slowly raising your hands to your face, you watch as the reflection mimics the way you brush your digits over your cheeks.
Was this real? Were you hallucinating? A dream?
You pinch yourself with a wince at the sharp pain.
Not a dream apparently.
“Hey— you’re unusually loud this morning, you okay?”
You flinch, glancing over at the male standing at the doorway. He’s slightly shorter than your current body, sporting the same blonde hair color and honey colored eyes. His expression is notably more softer than the stern frown you had seen on the boy in the mirror.
Currently, you were still finding it hard to believe that you were in that boy’s body right now. You didn’t even sleep that late last night. So how was any of this even possible?
Were you reading too many shoujo books? Body swaps couldn’t possibly be real... right?
“I’m fine,” You answer finally when you realize he’s still waiting for a response.
Was this his brother perhaps? The similarities in appearances were striking. He was too young-looking to be his father.
He doesn’t seem too convinced by the answer, but he shakes his head and shrugs, “Alright, if you need anything let me know, you look a little pale.”
He was right. When he finally left you alone, you shut the door with a click of the lock and turned to once again appraise yourself in the mirror. The color from your cheeks were draining and you looked as though you’ve seen a ghost. Although, honestly the expression seemed so out of character and weird on the middle blocker’s face.
You were starting to panic, chest tightening as you gradually grew dizzier. Taking a seat on the toilet seat cover, you placed your head in your hands.
Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.
You stayed like this until you felt the world come to a stand still and you could breathe normally again.
How did this happen in the first place? Your brows scrunched together in hard concentration, thinking back to your only interaction with the boy. The pads of your fingers brush over your, well... his bottom lip, remembering the static of electricity that had shocked you when you’d both kissed that night. Could it have been...? Was that even possible outside of anime and manga?
Then you felt it. Horror struck across your expression as you glanced down at your crotch.
You really had to pee right now.
.
Tsukishima opened his eyes to the bright shine of the sun slicing through the blades of the blinds. Irritated, he wondered where his eye mask had gone in the middle of the night. He shifted to sit up when he realized he was being held captive by a tight hold around his middle.
Finally growing aware of the warmth surrounding him, he raised his chin to glare up at the sleeping face of Kuroo Tetsurou.
Wait. What.
He looked up and down multiple times, squeezing his eyes shut and reopening them, in case he was hallucinating. Each time, he grew even more uncomfortable with how close his mentor was, and even more disturbed by his sudden appearance.
“What the fuck are you doing in my house Kuroo-san?” He spat harshly, before his mind went blank at the pitch of his voice.
Seriously what the fuck?
“Mm, Kuroo-san? I don’t remember pulling a prank on you just yet (F/n),” The raven-haired middle blocker hums, stirring from his sleep at the sound of his name.
Tsukishima didn’t remember seeing Kuroo last night, nor did he remember getting in bed with him. The disgust at the thought and the experience right now, was making shivers run down his spine. He needed to get out of this weird cuddle position they were in, and fast.
“Let go of me you pervert, I’m not into that,” He hisses, ripping himself from the other middle blocker’s arms. The sound of his voice continued to throw him off as he sat up and glanced around the room.
What was going on? His eyesight had significantly improved. Moreover, this was definitely not his room.
“(F/n), are you okay? You literally asked for cuddles last night?” The other male says, more confused now as he sits up with a drawn out yawn.
“(F/n)? Are you blind now? I’m Tsukishima?” He snaps in annoyance.
Who the hell is (F/n)?
Kuroo’s eyes open wide now, more awake and even more confused by his answer.
“I’m serious, are you okay? Did kissing Glasses-kun mess you up that bad?” he asks teasingly, ruffling the shorter’s hair.
That’s when Tsukishima notices his longer hairstyle. He’s also suddenly aware of how much bigger his mentor appears in comparison to himself. Had he always been that much larger than him? They were supposedly about near each other’s heights.
Wait. Kiss?
Tsukishima turns to him with squinted eyes, frowning up at the elder.
“How do you know about the kiss?”
The older blinks down at him. Really what was going on with his childhood friend? Were you having a random case of amnesia? So suddenly, was that even plausible?
“You told me? Are you sure you’re okay? Did you fall down again before I came over?”
His brows furrowed, he didn’t tell anyone, not even Yamaguchi told the two idiots plus Yachi. His friend didn’t even talk to the opposing captain either, so how?
“No what the fuck, besides that, where are we? This isn’t my house.”
Kuroo makes a face at that.
“We are at your house (F/n).”
“No, and I’m Tsukishima.”
Hazel eyes squint down at him. Kuroo opens his mouth to say something when his phone vibrates incessantly on the nightstand. With his back turned to reach for the device, Tsukishima glances at the table to find a picture frame of the Nekoma captain, his pudding-haired setter, and you — the girl he’d knocked over on his descent down the stairs and kissed just the other night.
Picking up the phone, Kuroo is momentarily surprised to be receiving a call from the caller ID titled as “Tsukki”. Once accepting the call, he’s about to express his surprise about receiving a call from the aloof blonde, when his eyes widen at the frantic voice on the other line.
“What do you mean you’re (F/n)?”

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CARAVAL thoughts:
FULL VIDEO HERE.
Confession: I DNFed caraval about 2 years ago. I even included this book in a video called “reading 5 star reviews of books I hate” (either screen record and insert the clip from that vid or link in the cards skip to like 6:40 or both)
Chapter 1
We open with letters that our main character Scarlett has written to the caraval master Legend
She really wants him to come to her island but he hasn’t
She finally gets one back with three tickets for her Tella and her fiancé
Chapter 2
Scarlett’s feelings came in colors “urgent red of burning coals, frenzied yellow of a flapping bird’s feathers”
She goes to tell her sister Tella and finds her making out with a dude lol
Julian is his name
The edges of the paper “blazed a shimmery gold, the color of magic and wishes and promises of the things to come”
Tella hates the count Scarlett is betrothed to but Scarlett wants to leave their home so bad she doesn’t care who she ends up with
“Gods teeth!” Is the expletive…
The prize of caraval is one wish
They have to leave the isle within 3 days which would be impossible before getting married
Tella’s lips “shifted from broken to unbreakable” NO
Last time they left Scarlett’s dad did something terrible to her
Julian offers to smuggle them to the island for caraval on his sailor ship (pirate ship??)
“Goldenrod desire lit up inside her”
Wishes were about as real as unicorns
Their dad shows up with gloves “the shade of bruises”
Tella accuses Scarlett of hooking up with Julian RUDE!!!!
And Julian agrees!
Ohh because the dad beats the other sister so they’re trying to protect each other by accusing each other
Her marriage is 10 days away
Chapter 3
Her fathers perfume smelled like the color of his gloves
Julian decides to take them off the isle for free after witnessing this
Tella says if she leaves she will never return
“Her world was a grand game board, and her father believed this marriage would be his penultimate move”
“More than your sisters face will bleed” is their dad assaulting them?? Did I just gloss over that when reading this the first time??
“Weather worn white archways” loved
Governor dragna sounds like judge frollo
Their mom disappeared 7 years ago - abandoned them
They have priests and piety and the devil but they don’t use the BC AD calendar instead going by seasons and rulers...why
Chapter 4
She felt the lie from childhood “sneaking into her slippers and moving between her toes” no you didn’t
“A broken dock like a massive tongue jutted out to stones that reminded Scarlett if uneven teeth”
It was nights like these she could smell the moon - I wrote taste at first and taste fits better imo
A friend tried to help them escape once and the governor drowned him for it, Tella didn’t know about this
She meets Julian here at midnight and barters all 3 tickets to keep him from helping Tella escape
Julian and Tella ambush her and knock her out
Chapter 5
“A pock marked moon winked in the glass”
She has a dream about their nana telling them how legend got his name
First of all, legend is a bad dumb name and you should feel bad about it, Stephanie Garber. Caraval is also a bad name.
He was in love with a woman named Annalise and would perform at a coronation to earn her fathers respect, but he needed a witch to grant him a wish of talent
He had to choose between fame and love
So his name is legend because his magic is legendary? How tf did John legend not sue over this?
“Behind her a cloud drifted over the moon, covering all but two tiny points of light, which hovered behind her silver hair like devil’s horns” love this visual
I’m calling it now, we’re getting this flashback because somehow, the dragna sisters are related to Annalise or remind legend of Annalise and this is why Tella gets taken
Chapter 6
She wakes up in a rowboat with Julian after 2 days which is always a good way to pass the 2 days journey it takes without having to make anything happen lol I respect it
Julian calls her crimson instead of Scarlett - hated it then hate it now
Trees “rose toward the sky like massive emeralds” and the waterfall “streamed down like melted peacock feathers” no it didn’t because that makes no sense
Legends private island is called the island of dreams in Spanish
Tella has set up a kidnapping so Scarlett can go back without getting In trouble
“The image of a purple fire breathing dragon came to mind, coating her vision with ashy shades of anxiety”
I remember stopping very shortly after this and now I remember why - I can do purple prose but DAMN
Their mom had “vanished taking nothing with her, she disappeared like a broken star leaving the world untouched, save for the missing bits of light but no one would ever see again” Good purple prose
We get some backstory on how her Nana was more involved after her mother left, and we get to hear again about how great her stories are, even though we just spent a chapter getting that first hand from a flashback
She barters with herself to stay only one day and then go home for her wedding
There’s a hole in the boat so they swim but she didn’t take her dresses off so she starts to drown
“You deserve this” because of Phillippe, like hands the water pressed her down down down
Julian saved her and cuts off her dress which she finds very intense
Chapter 7
So much description of the snowy frosting sand pick one
I get that it’s a magical island but every descriptor up until the sand made it sound like a tropical paradise, and then suddenly the sand is snow and there’s ice and snow on the trees which were just giant emeralds so I’m confused
Because being wet and cold is more scary
“ The snow on the rooftops rested like dust on abandoned storybooks“
A very diagon alley sitch where there are magical stores but none are open...because it’s caraval guys. They’re at the games
They go into a clock shop where there are clothes waiting along with food roses and a note from legend
They change and she sees awful scars on his hot muscly back
Her dress is lame despite every YA trope about the heroine having a princess moment, that’s fun: just kidding it changed colors and shape to fit her perfect
And Julian’s outfit is super hot
He stole a pocket watch
Scarlett was a pretty girl but she tried to hide it, her eyes were too honest, no one noticed girls in ugly clothes
“Scarlet wondered if she had found a way to escape her fathers deadly games only to become a well costumed piece on a new game board” no shit Scarlett you came to the island for the game…
Also you were in such a hurry to find Tella and get into the game before it was too late and now you’re waxing poetic about how hot Julian is and how you’re hot but you don’t wanna be
Chapter 8
“Sage shaded colors of suspicion” I really hate this device she’s using. I’ve used it to describe the colors my mind reading characters see in people's minds. But it’s like twice a book, maybe, to express extreme emotion. Not every time your feelings change.
Some guy comes in and offers them a portal into caraval and Scarlett is like “sure thing” and Julian is like “ummm dumdum” and he leaves
The guys like “oh you just gonna listen to that random guy?” And I’m like as opposed to you, another random guy?
He wants her voice okay Ursula
“A passionate sky made of melting lemons and burning peaches” or say yellows and oranges…
“Until the door was no more” love this, sounds very fairy tale
She leaves and it's like night already, she only has til midnight
Scarlett and Julian get in by him pretending to be the count, her fiancé
They take the path of the players, not the watchers
Chapter 9
“A panicked Vermillion moved inside of her chest as she thought of how specific legends letter had been”
Julian admits he’s played caraval before and Scarlett is like *gasp* but HELLO how did you think he knew all the shit he knew?
He keeps calling her crimson like every time he speaks to her, annoying
“Julian’s smile turned seductive, all shameless curves and immoral promises”
Chapter 10
“Soft golden lights licked her arms with gentle kisses of warmth”
I’m very bored when this house is supposed to be EVERYTHING
The guy who was giving them the rules says, “don’t let your eyes or feelings trick you” And then jumps off the balcony and Scarlet freaks out… He just told you not to trust what you see
Scarlett is the most annoying person
Their instructions are to get to the end by sunrise or they’ll be locked out in the streets, but she’s wasting time wanting to look for her sister - and Julian is telling her that her sister is probably staying at the same place and she doesn’t believe him despite the fact that he’s already done this game before, just trust him???
“A searing green door watched Scarlet like a glowing eye”
This just made me figure out why I don’t like that she’s using colors as an emotional device, because the main character is named after a color, and so it’s just way too many color descriptors
Julian got trapped outside noooo
Chapter 11
But it’s fine because she tells the innkeeper they’re guests of legend - which they are - and he’s let in. Great. Glad there are no stakes. They also used legends name to get the boat to the inn for free.
The hallways in the inn “smelled like the end of the night, sweat and fading fire smoke mixed with lingering breath from words whose ghosts still haunted the air” no
Julian was “poison in an attractive bottle”
Their rooms are actually one room oops
Chapter 12
“But legend saw all during caraval”
She got a message from legend: it’s a key with tella’s name on it
Lmao tella is having sex behind that door for sure
“She felt five different shades of berry colored foolish” this is so stupid
Every time something happens between tella and scar, we get a whole expository moment about how this is related to their mother or their father or the relationship between the sisters… We know. we can tell. we are not stupid.
“Warmth licking her cheek” this metaphor is too specific to keep using it
Some tattooed dude finds her - Dante - and is like “sleep in my room”
He asks her out but she declines because the count
Damn her dress has transformed to be like see through which is why he was into her lmao
She has a dream that legend is a creep lol
Chapter 13
Scarlett totally changes her tune re: enjoying herself
She passes tella’s room and finds a wreck
“Feathers covered the carnage as if a rebel Angel had gone mad” this is so dumb
The key she got with tella’s name was a clue, that other people also got
A pregnant girl offers to help scarlet, and a man steals scarlets favorite earrings from her mother
Then the pregnant girl steals that stuff
She realizes there’s a postcard in tella’s room that isn’t hers
Chapter 14
Tella only loved mermaids, and the postcard is of a castle, which was Scarlett’s thing
The castle is a place on the isle that Julian recognizes
Dante shows up and Julian is like hell nah
Dante won last time Julian was here and it cost him a lot
“Shops wrapped in colors like a birthday presents, cerulean blue apricot orange saffron yellow primrose pink while the canals remained midnight dark” SHUT UP dude
This woman got like a color wheel or a color dictionary for her birthday the year she wrote this book
Time moves fast in the castle
What’s really annoying about this book is Stephanie Garber spends a lot of time talking about things that are boring, and one sentence on something like hummingbird-sized elephants and tigers
There’s a kissing tent and she’s like fuck yeah let’s go there
You’re engaged
Julian sees where she’s looking and is like yeah??
A tingle of periwinkle curiosity
Chapter 15
She goes into the tent of a half naked dude who could tell her fortune
This is all very boring
He has incense that makes people tell the truth and she admits Julian is the hottest guy ever
She asks what’s the man she will marry really like?
He’s not a good person
She’s covered in only pictures he can see instead of pictures only he can see…
She had 2 questions but the way she asked used them up so she doesn’t get to ask about tella
Chapter 16
He tells her to follow the boy with the heart made of black...obviously Dante, she thinks Julian
She walks into a potion tent and finds an elixir of protectio
She mentions her father and feels “anise and lavender and rotting plums”
She describe the woman who works in the potion tent as having “bottle green” eyes, but this entire paragraph has the word bottle in it like 1 million times because shes describing a tent full of potions...all these colorful words you’ve used and this is where you use “bottle green”
I don’t mind the descriptor, my own eyes are bottle green, it’s very vivid, but badly placed
She chases Julian to a decrepit garden with a fountain, and sees a glass button
She also saw a glass button in tella’s room...is this how legend spies on her? Is this where tella is being kept?
“Dreary yellow hopelessness” infected her
She sees the symbol of caraval inside the fountain and touches it, revealing a staircase
Someone screamed as hot and bright as fire
It’s madness tunnels
The inn “smells of laughter and boasts laced with sweetened ale” this doesn’t make seeeeeennnnnnnnse
She finds Julian, but it’s actually Dante and he’s mean to her and she cries but it makes her mad at Julian?????? Stupid
Chapter 17
Julian finally shows up, super bloody but he just had a head wound
She cleans him up and is getting super horny lol
He got her earrings back!!!!!
The fire dies sending up a plume of smoke “the color of things better said in whispers”
She tells him about the tunnels and he says legend treats his prisoners like guests
Julian’s eyes are the color of “caramel and liquid amber lust”
He almost kisses her and then seems to wake up, leaves and “disappointment wraps around her in cool shades of forget me not blue” STOP
Chapter 18
She wakes up to white roses with red tips
Julian is supposed to meet her but doesn’t
A girl shows up “pretty as a watercolor and dressed as bold as a trumpet” DUDE
“Oh poor you, here you are on a magical island, and all you can think of is what you don’t have” get her!
Dante shows up and she realizes he has a black heart tattoo which DUH SCARLETT
chapter 19
The night is “brittle, crisp like the first bite of a chilled apple, smelling just as sweet with hints of burnt sugar weaving through the charcoal night air” THIS IS GOOD PURPLE PROSE! I can taste this!!!!!!!
She’s chasing Dante and finds a cider seller who’s drink will help her see things more clearly, the price is her last lie
She drinks it and loses the color in her vision
The game is constantly working against you?????? How?! You’ve stumbled across tons of clues without any work and there are no believable stakes to this game, this drink is the first time you’ve had a struggle…
Iko holds a journal that’s brownish green, “the color of forgotten memories, abandoned dreams, and bitter gossip”
Even in black and white we get this heavy handed color shit
She realizes anything in color is important
She also sees the red roses on a carousel and the red cravat on a mans neck
He makes her feel perilous shades of silky black - is Stephanie Garner an artist? Does she have synesthesia or something?? What is with this device!!!!
She looks in Iko’s book and sees pictures of her, the special guest
Sour shades of yellow green made her stomach roil with trepidation - HUH????
She’s like “why would he make the game about me?” You’ve been begging him to bring you caraval your entire life, why do you think?
I think I remember the nana saying annelise had blonde hair, and so does tella...are they related to her? Is she nana?
Iko tells her the notebook also holds all the true stories of caraval
Iko will give her the notebook if Scarlett will buy 2 dresses because the changing dress bothers her (??)
Iko takes her to a dress shop where the dresses are “the color of late night laughter, early morning sunshine, and waves crashing around ankles”
The dresses cost nightmares or secrets or fears
She owes her worst fear and greatest desire, or she can pay 2 days of her life per dress
It works but her greatest desire isn’t to find her sister, so she pays with 2 days of her life, not at the end of her life but at the end of caraval
“Panic came in hemlock green, the color of poison and terror”
“Something acidic and moldy and burnt bubbled up in Scarlett’s throat - the taste of death” like this
Scarlett’s body dies but her mind will exist in a dream world
Chapter 20
Dante finds her and drags her into the inn
Julian hits Dante because he won’t let her go hell yeah
She tells him what happened
Julian tried to give Scarlett a day of his life by having her drink his blood from his finger and she’s like “I wanna fuck this duuuude”
“His voice is so gentle, made of gentle” I liked this
Then he drinks her blood from her finger, and the world shatters into a million shards of colored glass
He lays down with her and holds her while she dies
Chapter 21
Death was the color purple.
She sees tella in the dream world, and tella has a huge dark book that swallows her and Scarlett
They see young nana in a house similar to the one they entered at caraval, entwined with a young man
Her grandma is Anneliese DUH
Then she’s at the funeral of the woman who died at caraval before
Rosa was in love with legend and he rejected her so she killed herself
Dante was rosa’s fiancée
Legend is julian?!?!?
Loved This entire chapter but then it means nothing because none of this is real it’s all part of the game so it’s not really story development
Chapter 22
They both wake up
Scarlett tries to convince herself the game is messing with her
Then she remembers what the dream people said about legend loving to make girls fall for him
She has a grey streak in her hair now
Her dad is there!
She finally puts it together - her nana is anneliese
“She could see the sting of her rejection in shades of stormy blue ghosting over his heart like sad morning mist” roll my eyes
But then she remembers that he gave a day of his life for her and is like why would he do that if he was legend
Now she’s changed her mind, so she goes after Julian to find him leaving Dante’s room and walking into tella’s
She goes in after him to hide from her dad but the room is empty
She finds another secret staircase like the fountain
She trips over Dante’s dead body and finds Julian standing over it
Chapter 23
Julian grabs her and is like “I didn't kill him, we were working together”
He shows her a white rose tattoo he has, Rosa was his sister!!
She asks why he had been acting weird and he basically says he didn’t want to have feelings for her because that wasn’t why he had come to caraval
Scarlett is like let’s get this fucker back, but she hears her dad’s footsteps in the tunnel
Chapter 24
They start running, and they hide in a weird alcove from her dad that starts to squish them
She realizes it’s feeding off their fear so they relax and it lets them out
They end up in the sand tunnel and Scarlett is like how could you know I was going to caraval if you were already at our island when I got my tickets
Julian explains that legend is punishing the descendants of anneliese and he invited her to caraval to stop the wedding
Legend had never responded until she signed her full name on the last letter, mentioning her wedding
Julian is the fucking count dude calling it
“His steady gaze reached out to the broken parts of her like a caress, a type of touch that moved through damaged flesh, past fractured bones and into a person's wounded soul.” WOW
Scarlett hears tella’s voice and almost runs straight off a cliff
“Tella loved danger the same way candle wicks loved to burn. It never seemed to scare her that some of the things she lusted for might consume her like a flame” Christ
Julian knew tella would be taken during caraval
Chapter 25
She had to find tella before legend consumed her like a flame burning a candle” you just used a candle metaphor like one page ago my dude.
She gives herself one minute to cry and scream and Julian hears her so he barges in, worried
He apologizes and she gives him the grace I’ve been waiting for as soon as he said he knew what would happen to tella: he had to avenge his sister. Everything they’re both doing is for their sisters, she should be more understanding
Julian is “all kinds of tragic and lovely”
The box was “flat black, the color of failure and funerals” shut UP
Like if you wanna use the color device to describe your protagonists feelings stop being so fucking flowery with every single color in the book it is soooooooooooooooo distracting
It’s the other dress Scarlett has bought but now it’s white
Chapter 26
There’s a note in the box from legend that makes “invisible spiders crawl over her skin” ok
She thinks the dress is the 5th clue - the buttons on the dress reminds her of the buttons leading to the hat store
Chapter 27
They go to the top hat place and Julian is like “this is all wrong”
Iko appears looking like “a teardrop the moon had cried” love it
She tells them not to go into the hat shop
Let me guess, despite both of these omens Scarlett is still gonna go in
“Scarlett had an emerald green premonition that she would make a discovery inside” sure why tf not gotta keep the story moving somehow
She sees the store owner and was like LEGEND and he’s like nah dude I’m just wearing a hat
But he is the guy that was wearing the red cravat and eyepatch from the day her vision went gray
He is the count!!!!!
Chapter 28
Nicholas Darcy
And her dad is there!!!!!!!!!!
Julian gets her out but the count chases her and they get on a boat
She sees her dad and he looks afraid but she blames it on the rain
They row to the castle and Julian convinces her to get inside to hide from the lightning
And they argue about if she’s still planning marrying the count and she’s torn which hurts him
He says “are you sure you want this?” Before kissing her and like is it a consent thing or is it him asking if he’s what she wants either way I love it
“The boy who had saved her from drowning in more ways than one” explain…
They kiss and “every touch created colors she had never seen” that’s so anticlimactic
Chapter 29
The stones fall through the hourglass like “drops of falling rose petals” that makes no sense but we have to include it because...
She finally realizes the roses that have been EVERYWHERE are part of the game duh
She takes Julian to the fountain where the tunnel entrance is
She feels ochre shades of uneasy
Only NOW she’s giving pause at the idea of winning because she could wish them safe...shoulda been your goal all along. Should have been equally as important as finding tella since if you find her you win the wish….I’m signing heavily atm
The governor and the count are there!!!!!
Swear to god if Julian dies I’m going to fucking riot
She wants to split up but Julian is like fuck no
The count catches up to her and the governor pulls her by her hair up the stairs
He punches her in the stomach to warn Julian and she gets back up, with the count trying to protect Scarlett
“A slick mud colored feeling coated Scarlett’s insides” because the governor is holding a knife to Julian’s throat
He cuts Julian’s face NOOOOOO
The governor takes Julian to his room and let’s the count sleep in Scarlett’s room because “he’s already paid for her, he can enjoy her a few days early”
Scarlett stands up to her dad!!!! And then she remembers tella’s words: what if the count is worse?
Scarlett tells the count if she makes her dad stop, she’ll be a good wife but if he doesn’t she will never be his obedient wife
“Do you really want a bride who will only sleep with you because someone will be tortured if she doesn’t?” YES
Chapter 30
The count is like “listen I am NOT like your dad I’m sorry” and she’s like yeah but you’re not Julian
The count starts undressing and Scarlett aims a poker at his eyeball lmao
She finally remembers the elixir of protection in that dress from the tent and soaks the count
The count is like “you’re playing into legends hands” and Scarlett is like “nah he did me a favor by getting rid of you”
Chapter 31
Julian’s cut isn’t that deep thank god but he’s still woozy
“He tasted like midnight and wind”
Leap of faith - roses - it’s Rosa!!!!! She has to ask how Rosa died and Julian says she jumped off a balcony
They decide to sneak out using the tunnels to go search all the balconies
Chapter 32
The town during the day looks like a “faded memory”
She hears music from the rose colored carousel
The musician has been asking for coins the whole time but nothing else cost money
They jump onto the moving carousel and end up in the roses where Scarlett finds the caraval symbol
They have to jump, Julian gives her coordinates to a boat in case they get separated but they run out of time and she has to go in
She lands in a river and lands at a staircase guarded with statues that are definitely frozen people
Legend is there ofc
Chapter 33
She’s a little star struck by legend
His laugh is a rich spicy sound that echoes until he snaps his fingers
Homeboy is mad
Julian ends up there, dry, and...he’s working with legend...NOOOOOOO
Dante and Valentina were also part of the game
Rosa was not his sister...DUDE
She clutches his pocket watch and legend opens it - Julian’s voice comes out apologizing for betraying her
He does love her HE IS ENCHANTED!!!!!
LEGEND STABS JULIAN?!?!?!?!?!?
Oh fuck he is spitting blood oh fuck oh no
Scarlett you got him killed you dumdum
Chapter 34
I’m FUCKING FURIOUS
she remembers that she gets one wish, and she wants to use it to bring Julian back and I swear to goooooddddddd if he doesn’t come back I’m gonna throw myself out the window
Legend is gone, leaving a funeral invitation for tella set for tomorrow this guy is a MONSTER
Chapter 35
She ends up on a huge rooftop way high up
“The air felt soft and poisonous”
Tella is there feeling like “softness and sunlight and seeds for growing dreams”
We just used soft a sentence ago!!!!
Tella is like “you’re confused, the game is playing tricks on you”
Scarlett tells her about their grandmas history with legend
She shows tella the invitation and it now says it’s to a party not a funeral
Chapter 36
Tella has met a boy that’s not legend...it’s a guy she met right before she got taken for the game…
She’s engaged to him??
Scarlett is like maybe tella is right and this is all part of it...Scarlett DUDE
Scarlett has a bitter yellow puddle of dread in her stomach
If Daniel is Dante or Julian I’m gonna scream
Chapter 37
It’s legend of course
Duh
He tries to convince tella to tie Scarlett up you better NOT
TELLA
YOU DUMB BITCH
legend dares Scarlett to walk to the edge of the balcony to prove she loves her sister, so that he can feign worry to tella
They tie her up
The governor and the count show up FUCK
finally legend admits to tella who he is and she just breaks poor baby
Tella backs up to the ledge and says if the governor or the count touch Scarlett she’ll kill herself!!!!!!!
“Silver slippers sliding” toward the balcony
Scarlett breaks free but tella FUCKING JUMPS
Chapter 38
So now who is Scarlett gonna use her wish on?!
Her father looks like “a dragon with no fire and broken wings”
The governor slaps Jovan and legend is like imma fuck you UP
The governor killed Dante!!!!!!
She blackmails her dad with Philippe’s death
She remembers her wish...but who does she use it on?!
Which oof, oof, OOF
Tella is a brat lmao
Legend won’t give her the wish!!!!!
He’s...fading??
Scarlett goes to give tella her blood
She wishes her impossible wish but it doesn’t work
Chapter 39
She goes back up to get tella’s stuff and finds a caraval box with a letter inside from tella to legend that she didn’t know about
Chapter 40
She goes to see legend and finds out he’s actually some dude named Caspar…that was why he couldn’t grant her wish
There’s a stack of letter between tella and legend that basically illustrate that tella was willing to die for legend to get them to caraval
Tella is alive?!?!?!?!?!?
This was all a fucking game?!
Her impossible wish came true, but she had actually died
Tella orchestrated their dad getting to caraval so he could see her die, and so he would leave Scarlett alone
Chapter 41
So Julian is not really dead, but tella wanted anyone who made Scarlett love them to be taken out, that way she wouldn’t get hurt by someone who was just pretending
So she somehow warps this into meaning that Julian didn’t actually love her? Go...ask him??????? The fuck
God poor Scarlett…
So people can die in caraval, but when the game is over, they come back...so there were no fuckin stakes except for tella’s death
Chapter 42
They go to legends party in the forest and Scarlett sees Julian
Iko is there like go talk to Julian dumdum
“Shades of the rich ruby love she’d felt mixed with deep indigo hurt turning everything just a little bit violet” I don’t care I want them to kiss Stephanie
Julian is so hurt that she thinks she doesn’t know him
He’s related to legend…
Rosa dying changed his opinion of legend
He tried to leave the game right before this caraval
Legend is his brother!!!!!!!!!
He couldn’t leave Scarlett because she loved her sister like Julian loved his brother
He stayed because of Scarlett despite how it hurt him to lie to her
Yaaaaaay they kiss yay omg
Epilogue
Tella is dancing drunk at the party and is dancing with a new guy who dances her to the edge of the party...then he’s gone?
He dropped something into her pocket...a coin with a note…
From legend!!!!!
You can see your mom soon if you keep up your end of the bargain!!!!!
#book review#bookreviews#booktube#cringe books#cringe review#stephanie garber#caraval#legendary#finale#negative review#spoilers
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1D Day, Hour Three
Almost halfway through this hour, which is almost halfway through this day, is the point where Louis Tomlinson stops having fucks left to give and starts getting real. He’s still a professional throughout hour three (not like Harry in hour two, oof), but god, how??? Everything here is a disaster, and it’s infuriating when you consider that a) this must have been somewhat planned out (the band is HUGE, allegedly 32 million people are watching), and b) it’s being produced in LA, presumably with easy access to professionals who have had some experience with live shows (since, what, the 1930s???). Anyway, I would have loved to hear the choice words Louis no doubt had for Ben Winston when he ran away during one of the Google+ Hangouts, lmao.
When I first watched this two years back, Niall’s nervous laughter nearly drove me insane, but this time around, I’m loving the subtle nuances w/r/t wtf is happening on this here day as Louis’s rage starts to climb and Niall’s Slytherin core starts to emerge. Deets under the cut.
Niall and Louis literally burst through a paper wall to launch hour three and reveal Niall’s lilac hair (also revealed: the fact that Niall’s “a diva,” according to Louis). The color’s hardly even noticeable, but Niall’s all worked up about it, and I’m betting he had to do this because he has no tattoos, so everyone wanted to freak his Virgo ass out with something “permanent.”
The first bit is so tiresome (Louis’s childhood friend, Stan, forcing the Milkshake City staff to perform the world’s sleepiest version of “Rock Me”), but I’m a huge fan of Stan’s for the Larry purple dildo video alone (ICONIC; ping me if you need a link), plus I love the tidbit about the time Harry came in for a milkshake for himself and “a friend back at home.”
After we survive this long-ass bit of fill, Louis and Stan take the piss out of each other and banter a bit with Niall, which is all pretty hilarious and also makes me sad in the key of “oh how I wish that was me.”
Because it wasn’t at all tedious in hour one, it’s time for another Guinness Book of World Records challenge (Louis: “Of course it is”), this time balancing coins on faces. Hey, speaking of faces, did you know that men are at peak hotness between the ages of 32 and 36? This guy is 22 years old, doing the stupidest task ever, help me, Jeebus:

Next up is the randomizer, which randomly pulls celebrity videos, and this is when the in-ears start acting up for Louis, who’s midway through Robbie Williams asking them for the best live performer they’ve ever seen, prompting Louis to give Ben the evil eye off camera and go off script to say Michael Buble, ha.
Some random sports man (update: Doncaster Rovers manager) demands that they do pressups up and burpees, and Louis gives us a surprisingly strong and steady nine pressups before proving why he’s most relatable:

After fits of unnecessary laughter from Niall, and a lot of exasperation about the technical problems so far from Louis (friend, you’ve seen nowt yet), we get the best VT from this entire day, the iconic bts video for “Talk Dirty to Me,” and if you watch nothing from any of this, please tell me you’ve seen it in full for Zayn the goofball! Liam’s hanky code shoutouts! Harry’s hip chub! Louis and his glorious torso! Niall in full Farmer Ted mode!
Next up, we get astronauts congratulating the D from space, and whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I mean, honestly, WHY? Are these astronauts fans? Is anyone besides Niall into space? I know there’s an intense interest in making space interesting for teens (how many times have people on the international space station beamed their way into MTV award shows at this point), but whyyyyy.
Scott tells us we’ll soon see Doctor Who (mild interest from Nouis) and Simon Cowell (Louis: “SIMON COWELL, WOO HOO, I LOVE THAT GUY!” Niall: “Simon GROWL”), but first up is Doctor Who, and this is where the wheels fall off the bus, technically speaking. First, there’s a 15-minute delay (!!), so Nouis are standing around while the Doctor handles some other interview for the BBC. Eventually, they connect, and Louis makes the understatement of the year (“This is gonna be tough”) as both the video and audio go full Inception and echo in and around each other to make us all woozy:

Louis again understates the chaos happening on screen by saying, “I think actually that this is not working,” and then begging for any VT, they don’t care, help (the VT is Niall being all humblecholy about their success and Ireland and something something, I’m not actually interested, sorry).
We come back to Louis still losing it, curious as to how they can have a link to space but can’t have a studio in LA link to the BBC, and yeah. YEAH. But enough about that, it’s Google+ Hangout (lololololol) time, and we don’t get too many answers to these vital fan questions because Ben is in Louis’s ear so much that Louis starts arguing with him about it and eventually runs off stage to yell at him in person, and god, it’s glorious. READY 2 FIGHT:

Because this is an utter trainwreck, the team decides to do another live link again, this time to the X Factor while it’s airing in the UK, and it’s…yeah, not good. Just awful, cameras out of synch, no sound, etc. Save us, random VT of Denmark!!
Hearing Louis say “tits up” is my new religion, but honestly, this chitchat with McFly is such a revelation. Apparently, they worked with Niall on something, so they gossip with Louis about what a diva Niall is (!) and how he brought a friend of his named Shawn around (!!), and there’s a lot of inside jokes I know nothing about, but I’m LIVING for Niall looking at all these boys on the screen and saying, “I feel like I’m alone in my bedroom,” and Louis’s response, “Okay, Niall!”
“Don’t Forget Where You Belong” is announced, but we don’t get to hear it (although we DO get to see some sweet Nouis dancing), and two more girls go into the call box of doom. Because this show’s producers can’t go ten minutes without a disaster, there’s increasingly urgent screaming from Louis to Ben to just roll the Zayn graffiti VT, which takes at least a full, tense minute to post.
Zayn is incredibly hot, but my heart breaks for him saying it’s their 127th show, and he’s feeling inspired and creative to make art, and I just wonder how??? How are you not banging your head against a wall instead of painting it? Anyway, it’s a lot of spraypainting/artist au Zayn come to life, with Liam working out shirtless nearby and heaping praise on just about every single thing Zayn puts on the wall (awwwww). Also some nice Flicker reference points (Niall: “Zayn, will you draw a picture of me?” Zayn: “No. I don’t like you”). Ouch.
We come back to Rebecca, an opera singer who’s here to sing some tweets, and this is a horrible idea that Ben Winston stole from Jimmy Kimmel, right? When he used to have Josh Groban sing tweets a million years ago? Anyway, this ripoff doesn’t work because nobody can really understand the words, but credit to Louis for trying to cheat and speed this whole thing up:

When Rebecca finishes, Louis says he got emotional (Niall just laughs), and this poor girl says not to worry, she’ll do more later, and lmao at Louis: “Oh, OH, there’s more in store, Niall” (Niall: “Can’t wait”), sighhhhh, it’s torture for us all, tbh. Anyway, time for some Belgian VT and reinforcement that Louis’s part Belgian, which is why it’s super relevant, I guess.
The last bit is back to Dynamo, to redo the magic bit that failed with Harry in hour two. I’m still curious about this trick because there’s a piece of paper locked in this box (Harry’s dick holds the key to it), and tl/dr, Harry says April for the month an hour ago, but Louis says November, and sure enough, November plus all the other details are in this locked box. HMMMMM. Me as Harry’s finger delivering the key immediately in this segment, meaning he’s literally right there watching all of it. Pick someone supportive, etc.
Anyway, back to the trick, there’s a bit where Louis says he told Dynamo all this information earlier (Niall starts chewing his nails a bit ferociously at that), but then he backpedals brilliantly later about what an amazing, stunning trick, etc., and this group of sneaky liars, god, I love ‘em!
We get more terrible highlights, which sucks, because I kind of liked the way Louis was asking Niall what HIS highlights were, but never mind, let’s get Ben’s. I’ll leave you with this picture that makes me think of Louis hosting Family Feud, you know, the final round, when you have to see how your answers stacked up with a family member’s and if, together, you cleared 200 (“Name someone a person may confess a crime to”):

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