#won’t stop hoping until Kerry says it’s over

[temporary-tats]

Don’t mind me just crying over the Bumbleby confession again <3

[neighbourscat]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 , nicholas alexander chavez

THE ‘SAFE-KEEPING’ PREMIERE. paris , the red carpet

𓈒  ˙ ꪆৎ   ꣹  ۫  �� 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 . .. . actor!nicholas c. X superstar!new actress!black!fem!reader || second person ( you, yours, you’re ) + lowercase intended.

+ synopsis. from the moment you and nicholas chavez began working together, he’s been captivated by your presence. at first, it was just your talent and warmth that drew him in, but as the years passed . .. . it became something deeper, something more intimate.

+ cw. brief mentions of sex.

+ nali’s notes; this is very ‘kerry washington + tony goldwyn’ coded. downbad!chavez . .. . you & nicholas are never beating the couple allegations now. ); wordcount :: 3.5k+

+ to be played: skin tight, ravyn lenae & steve lacy.

THE ‘SAFE-KEEPING’ PREMIERE. paris , the red carpet

“how much are you going to miss her?”

“miss her?” the shuddering breath that leaves his nostrils narrowly frees the anxiety coursing through his veins like light itself. tonight was one of the biggest nights of his career and his dearest friend, his co-star, wasn’t in attendance yet. though he wasn’t entirely new to the entertainment industry, it wasn’t until recently that the pressures of hollywood started to weigh heavily. his co-star had been navigating this flashy world since late childhood and had became, without meaning to or fully realizing it, his comfort person. his anchor in the chaos of fame. and over time, being around this co-star became less about their roles in the film and more about simply needing to be near. “well . .. .” he began, shyness and nervousness lifting from his shoulders, “i won’t be missing her-“

the interviewer, with a microphone in her right hand and a miniature notebook in the left, tilted her head ever-so-slightly. a brow starting to raise and lips beginning to part, he got there first: “-because we’re still going to be in each other’s lives.” her expression softened immediately; brows falling, eyes widening, mouth turning up into a sweet smile, hand ( with miniature notebook ) held over her heart.

“is that right?” she asked then, her voice light — her heart still thumping from the cuteness of this man. he gave a firm nod, his anxiety and frustration quickly gave way to adoration and total worship. the interviewer noticed the change in his . .. . everything, at the mention and speaking of his co-star. she noticed the sparkle in his eyes, and maybe if it weren’t too loud, she would be able to hear the way his heart fluttered.

“i guess that, i-uh, would like to believe that she, y’know, wouldn’t want to leave me,” he said with a genuine smile. probably his first of the night. “but truly, uh, i’m not leaving her and i’m not letting her leave me.” the interviewer studied him intently, a knowing smirk creeping onto her face . .. . and as he spoke and spoke — his response shifting from enjoying the company of his co-star to how close they’ve gotten throughout the film project — she hoped the camera crew had been getting all of this.

it took a moment for him to stop himself — hands scrunching into fists at his sides. he lets them ball before opening back up. closing and opening again in nervous energy. he’s said too much. far too much. so much that he couldn’t even remember what he had just said and it’s only been three seconds or four. two maybe. his heart twisted in his chest, his mind only emphasizing two things: embarrassment and cringe.

“you love her?” the interviewer asked him.

and his heart — the one that was twisting in his chest — had skipped a beat. several. “love her?” he repeated, his voice laced with confusion and worry. “that is what you said. after saying it was, ‘an honour of a lifetime to play opposite her’, that you ‘love’ her,” she spoke into her microphone with confidence. she waved it toward him and waited. the camera crew behind her seemed to draw closer and the interviewer could see the tension in his body again, the regret in his eyes.

part of him wondered how she had remembered those bits, for he had been speaking for a while.

he mentally cursed himself for getting so lost in his thoughts. “no,” he breathed — he caught and corrected himself then: “i mean, yes. yeah. i did. i did say that-that i love her. which i do. a lot, but not like .. . y’know? not like that. because, no,” he tried to keep his tone casual and stable.

he paused, managing a small smile, “in a nice, y’know, platonic way. as a friend does-can, i guess. because someone can say that. that they love their friend,” he said quickly, almost too quickly. “ . .. . y’know what i mean . .. .?” his voice faded to a whisper. nothing but a hum.

a long pause.

he blinked up at a camera and then the other, and then his eyes found the interviewer’s again — her mouth moving but no words coming out. he wanted to have a seat. some cold water and a large container of popcorn. he did a poor job at playing that off and he knew that for a fact. just thinking about going home and going onto social media and watching that clip back made him cringe. fuck me.

the interviewer had stopped moving her lips, her microphone close to her chest. there was a shift in the air. a very real, undeniable shift in the air that had everyone turning their heads . .. . in your direction. every human within a fifty-foot radius seemed to be drawn to your presence like a magnet.

and that’s when the temperature had gone up a few uncomfortable notches. the custom-made designer suit he wore constricted; an encircling pressure. and it’s just so tight, that he reaches up and tugs at the collar of the dress-shirt he has underneath. he can’t breathe and he wants to get naked . .. . but he can’t. not right now anyway. because that would be highly inappropriate, and he’s better than that. he has the self-control.

“she looks amazing, right?”

he was holding his breath, daring not to speak as his eyes scanned the flood of bodies, afraid the interviewer would repeat her question or ask something else — something else along the lines of you — and demand his attention from finding you. the deafening loud ringing in his ears finally fell silent when he spotted you . .. . looking like an angel who’s come down to earth to grace the people. the waves of beauty, the elegance, and the warmth you radiated for all the world to see . .. . he had to be beside you. the desire to have you, to touch you and feel you against him . .. . was strong. to put it simply.

your stage name had turned into an incantation, a name that blazed and glittered on the overhead billboard. you winced instantly as the passenger’s door yawned open, being greeted with dazzling flashes from the multitude of various press and entertainment outlets waving their cameras and microphones in your face, the blobs of fans begging you to step over and to sign their notepads and movie posters. pleading and crying for you.

you carefully stepped onto the red carpet and made for the fan bleachers — the low, first-row section. you felt bad for those you couldn’t reach, but still, you waved and smiled and blew many, many kisses.

you touched the hand of a crying teenaged girl — you seized her pink gel pen, drew open her notepad to a blank page and hastily printed over the light blue lines: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. and you grabbed another notebook: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. and a clear phone case: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. and then someone’s right palm: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. and then a ‘safe-keeping’ movie poster: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. and then a poster from your 2019 world tour: 𝙔/𝙉ᡣ𐭩. you printed your name at least twelve more times before being redirected by security to continue the red carpet, find the journalists and photographers.

you shifted your attention and went as told — the anticipatory looks of reporters and bloggers, ready to barrage you with questions of this ‘steamy, hypnotic, scandalous’ thriller movie, working so closely to nicholas alexander chavez, and your future plans in the film industry ( if you’d settle in or if ‘safe-keeping’ is a one-and-done ): you are prepared for it. your brown, full eyes meet theirs.

“before i even get to my list of questions, can i just say . .. you look absolutely stunning in white,” said the interviewer, clear and passionate. you thanked the young woman, tone soft and with a smile — nearby hearts instantly melting. “what’s the story behind this look? why don’t we start there, yeah?”

“um .. . so ..” you stared down at yourself for a moment and then back up to the interviewer, lips barely touching the fuzz of her microphone cover, “it’s actually kind’a cute how this came to be-“ the interviewer started to laugh, ready to hear your story. “-earlier this year, nico ‘nd i were on the phone and he was sending me cat reels-like goin’ crazy; three at a time, right? ‘nd uhm, he sent this one of a black ‘nd white cat latched onto each other,” you told her, fingers teasing along the skin-tight white fabric. “i couldn’t turn him down, so while he thinks we’re dressed as two instagram cats, i take it as yin and yang; the feminine and the masculine, y’know? our characters, ‘eris and drew’, ‘nd how they really balance each other out.”

the interviewer, with a low chuckle, said: “not only is that cute, but you turning this look over into your own idea and symbolism is so great. gives married couple a teeny bit-“ your lips formed into a tight-lipped grin and you stared down at yourself once again. you considered for a moment, yeah, and refocused in a snap. “-i love the tiny detailing in the front there, for sure. and the hair pieces as well, so gorgeous.” again, you thanked the woman — missing all she had said before that. “i’d actually like to speak of ‘eris and drew’ for a bit. i attended the ‘early showing preview release’ yesterday evening, and .. gosh, the world is not ready for this.”

you chuckled, “no?”

“hell-to-the-nah. you and chavez on the big screen just . .. .” the interviewer was struck speechless, remembering last night’s early viewing. “ .. . you two just work. so nicely and so beautifully.” your heart swelled with love and pride. “that on-screen chemistry, the intensity and angst between ‘eris and drew’ throughout that entire film, i mean, i pretty much melted into my seat every-time you two appeared in the same frame. it was .. . unreal. it was totally insane . .. . but, really, i want to ask you, how?” you shifted your weight a bit, mentally putting together an answer. “how did you both get that to work-hmm?”

and the microphone was back inching in front of your lips, “having a good off-screen friendship helped. that, um . .. that made this entire project so much easier.” she could hear the sincerity in your tone, and it only fueled her enthusiasm. “i love nicholas chavez,” came out easily, smoothly, and warmly. “i love him so much, i do. ‘nd uhm, it’s been so much fun. this experience was so refreshing and something that i . .. actually really needed. he’s just so generous. and so gentle, and kind, and committed. so, yeah, it all just . .. . fell into place.”

eagerly, and with amusement in her eyes, “i’ve spoken with a few other news outlets today, those from the early viewing, and all of them mentioned the ‘one’ sex scene. it was incredibly hot and worth it.” inwardly, you sighed lowly. you weren’t sure why you hadn’t expected it to come up. but here you are again; picking through your brain for an appropriate answer. an answer that won’t get the internet going tonight. “you know where i’m going wit’ this, huh?” the interviewer found herself laughing . .. . while you stood there, nothing but a grin on your face. “anyways, talk to me about that bed-chemistry. you must’ve had a process for that, right? to keep it from being and looking so awkward, i’d assume.”

the interviewer waited patiently. you let out a breath and answered, “i mean .. no, there was no specific process for that-“ the interviewer’s shoulders seemed to droop, highly disappointed — she hoped that you hadn’t noticed. “-no specific headspace to jump into. i’m comfortable with nico, he’s comfortable with me, ‘nd yeah, we simply just . .. did what we were told. performed the choreography, and uh, looked good while doin’ it.” you finished with a warm laugh.

“how do you think it was for him? filming such an intimate scene with a global superstar such as yourself?”

you seemed to turn it over in your mind for a moment and she anxiously awaited your response.

“ya’know what? why don’t we ask mr. chavez?” you suggested through mock-laughs — you were done with this interviewer and had to continue on with your night.

“why don’t we, hmm? i need to see you two together again. quickly. where is he? where is our ‘drew’? where is that brilliant man?!” you shrugged with a low hum and looked over your shoulder, opting to entertain the search. no sign of a 6’foot-something mountain of a man with brown waves and a pretty pearly smile. “hey, when i catch him, i’ll drag him over,” you said playfully, already starting to step away.

“i’ll hold you to that!” the interviewer declared.

and amongst the loud demands and shutter clicks ringing out from cameras that captured you, y/n y/l/n, nicholas alexander chavez is squeezing through celebrities, vips, industry professionals, and other influential guests — apologizing as soon as he gets too close or just almost bumps into them — desperately trying to get you. you were in his line of sight, just a few more groups of bodies to excuse himself past and he’d have you.

and once he had the room to lengthen his stride, he did exactly that and reached your side. and all had been okay again. he found comfort and was at ease. “hi . ..” your attention was momentarily distracted as you felt a light kiss placed onto your bare shoulder. you stared up and relaxed when you had looked straight into nicholas’ brown eyes. your mind off of the interviewers and the photographers and instead on the heat coming off of his body.

there was no ignoring the voice in the back of his mind now — the one screaming at him, telling him that there had been something in your eyes. something so deep and similar as to when he looked at you or stood so close to you. something that flickered just below the surface. it had been there, no doubt, but finally he could feel it and he was certain of it. that something.

nicholas broke eye contact; raising his head and catching the interviewer’s gaze — he apologized lowly for interrupting. “no, no, i’d love for you to get in on this as well. y/n took me through her approach taken to composing those two ‘safe-keeping’ scores. her process and how she added even-more texture to your phenomenal characters; giving them wings and magic and all that good stuff, which again . .. . was absolutely beautiful to hear in the trailers. but i had asked her if she would do that again; write original music for a film or a show even, and she said ‘yes’.” nicholas smiled at that. “but then, i asked if she would be interested in starring in another film-ya’ girl here isn’t too keen on the idea. what do you think? would you wanna star in another film with her?” the interviewer lifted his microphone toward nicholas.

and without missing a beat: “yes. a million times yes.” short ‘n sweet. you and the interviewer shared a laugh. “don’t fall for that. that was a ‘for the cameras’ response, ‘kay?” nicholas bristled a little at your words, his eyes narrowing as he looked down at you — his chuckle fake and shaky, the cameras caught that too. “no, but-but seriously,” his voice: calm and easy, “i’d do it-this all over again if i could. the last four years.”

“mhmm,” you hummed, “what would you change?”

nicholas studied your face. “nothing. i wouldn’t change a thing.”

relief watched over nicholas as you smiled to yourself, trying to hide the way your cheeks rose — your hand patting the very center of his abdomen, gentle reassurance and acceptance further calming his nerves. “she’s everything to me,” he mumbled as he bent in to kiss just above cheekbone, his big hand gently resting on your lower back. you laughed with the interviewer again, mindlessly trying to shoo nicholas away. yet, his hand lingered on your backside for a beat longer as you chatted with the interviewer more, his fingers subconsciously tracing small circles on the sleek fabric of your dress.

after two more short questions from the interviewer, you stepped forward — nicholas remaining near, his palm still laid against the small of your back . .. . like he needed you ( which he did ), like if you were to leave his side for even a minute he’d collapse. the fit and contact was perfect and looked too good for the entertainment and gossip blogs.

“what would you tell your 12-year-old self?” the new interviewer asked you and nicholas — and you went first. and as you spoke, gesturing lightly with your hands, lost in your response to your younger self, nicholas moved even closer ( surprisingly, it was possible ) — just enough so that his hip could snap against yours. his hand slipped gently across your waist, his long fingers resting just above the curve of your hip, the touch subtle yet unmistakably intimate.

your breath hitched for the briefest moment, but you didn't stop talking, though there was a flicker of surprise in your eyes. you glanced up at him briefly, a soft smile playing on your lips, as if this touchiness was nothing more of a casual gesture; a friendly show of camaraderie for the cameras. but the way his hand had a mind of its own, massaging your hip in a subtle gesture of . .. . something.

the cameras caught every angle — the tender closeness, nicholas’ eyes so fixed on you with a look that wasn’t for the flashing bulbs but for you alone. his chest rose and fell a little deeper, and though he said nothing, the way his arm snaked around you felt possessive — like a silent claim, just barely testing the waters.

you finished your sentence, the interviewer not at all oblivious to nicholas’ never-once straying gaze. “and what about you nicholas?” nicholas stared down at the microphone, mind completely blank.

what was the question?

and in a soft voice, “what would you tell your 12-year-old self?” without thinking, his shoulders eased and he gave your hip four light pats, thanking you for saving him — as you always did. “well . .. .” nicholas began, giving the question some thought. “y’know, i’d tell him to eat more chicken-“

with a crooked smile on your face, “hmm?”

“eat more chicken,” he said again, his tone lighthearted — his hand riding up and down your side. “more chicken, more energy.” the interviewer’s eyes lit up, “fried, grilled, or baked?”

and you watched the exchange, listening to how the interviewer expressed his love for grilled chicken and then how nicholas spoke so passionately about baked chicken — nicholas had an entire backstory and extra details to support why baked chicken was ‘awesome’. for a few seconds, fried chicken had been the topic of discussion; how when he wasn’t feeling baked, he’d go for fried. and when he hadn’t been feeling baked or fried, he’d go for grilled. but ultimately, as he said, baked was his number one.

and when the interviewer waved you and nicholas along — “sorry,” he murmured, his voice low enough for only you to hear, the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “he really got me going there.” you nodded in agreement, sending him a mock-sweet smile, “mhmm. i heard.”

nicholas’ hand tightened on your waist, “what?” deep and velvety. “why’d you say it like ‘that’?” you shook your head in response, biting back a laugh.

— and finally, as the interviews wrapped up, the final flashes from the photographers dimmed, the buzz of the red carpet slowly shifted toward the entrance of the theater. excitement rippled through the crowd as everyone began to make their way inside for the premiere. the energy, so loud and vibrant outside, now became a hum.

nicholas’ hand was touching the small of your back, guiding you through the thickening crowd — your security surrounding. nicholas’ presence was steady beside you ( as he had been your personal bodyguard ), and though you and him didn’t exchange many words, there was a quiet understanding.

the massive theater doors opened, revealing a stunning auditorium bathed in soft golden light, velvet chairs arranged in perfect rows, and the towering screen that would soon captivate everyone. nicholas reached down and took your hand in his — you glanced at how he turned your hand over, shifting and intertwining his fingers with yours. he squeezed gently, letting you know that you wouldn’t be seated away from him.

the seats filled quickly, the low murmur of voices blending into the occasional pop of champagne corks or soft rustle of programs. ushers guided the ‘special’ guests to their reserved spots near the center—prime viewing for the night’s main attraction.

as you sat, you glanced around, taking in the grandeur of the moment, your heart racing just a little. you always felt this way before releasing any creative work into the world — the calm before the storm of emotions that this film would undoubtedly stir in you.

nicholas lowered himself into the seat next to you, his arm brushing against yours as he settled in, the close quarters making it impossible not to feel the warmth radiating between. the lights dimmed gradually, signaling the start of the night, and the room began to fall silent, a collective breath being held.

and as the opening logos appeared on the screen, you leaned back in your chair, your pulse still quick, though now it was hard to tell if it was because of the film or because of nicholas sitting so close. you crossed your hands and held them in your lap. he leaned in slightly, his shoulder gently nudging yours in a quiet, almost unconscious gesture of love.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice low, the intimacy of the moment heightened by the darkening room. you turned your head, catching the soft gleam of his eyes, “yeah, i’m fine,” you said, unfolding your hands. you turned back to the large screen . .. . nicholas not yet staring away, admiring your side-profile.

the opening credits began to roll, casting flickering shadows over everyone’s faces. nicholas didn’t move away, his arm now resting easily on the armrest between, fingers casually brushing the back of your hand as the movie began to unfold. it was soft, unspoken, but the light touch persistent; more than just an accident or friendly gesture.

and here, you feel it completely and clearly. the something — that coursed through his entire being whenever he touched you or spoke to you — was now filling you up. the something you’ve been holding back to maintain a facade of professionalism despite the fact that your heart was consumed by him.

[hughiecampbelle]

Heed (Roman Roy x Mencken!Reader)

Chatacter/s: Roman, Mencken, Logan mention

Word Count: 1,413

Inspired By: Nothing's New by Rio Romeo

Requested: hihi! ahh i loved your newest roman fic! i also have severe roman brain rot & would love a fic that is super fluffy & hurt/comfort where he is super soft with the reader (either his s/o or situationship or friend or lil sibling i don’t mind & hope that isn’t to vague) & treats them like he does with kerry in ep4 at logans wake.thank you so so so much xx - anon

A/N: Are you ready for the hurt/comfort my love???? Because I don't think you are!!! :P This was so cute, he was literally so cute in that moment like god please let him be soft!!! Thank you for requesting my love!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Succession Masterlist

You scream his name, but it’s too late. They recognize you. They’re grabbing at you, pulling at your clothes, tearing them from your body. You’ve fallen to the ground, on your hands and knees, begging for them to stop. Crying out to him. There’s too many of them, they’ve made a wall around you, a bubble he can’t pop. They’re kicking you, punching you, pulling at your hair. The road burns under your skin, your palms being torn to shreds. You taste blood in your mouth, choking on it, unable to cry out any longer. He’s calling your name, crying out to you, but you can’t move. You can’t fight. There’s too many. You can feel it in your stomach, in your sides, your chest: their anger. They won’t stop. All of them are so angry, so full of rage, taking it out on you. Your shirt is torn open, torn off, discarded in the crowd, one of your shoes gone. Your left eye has swollen completely shut and there’s a terrible, pulsing ache on the side of your head. It vibrates through your skull, making you nauseous, terribly aware of the iron taste in your mouth. Something wet and hot drips down your face, your chin. It feels like forever, hands groping you, touching you. They spit their words. Words meant for your brother, your family, not you. You had nothing to do with his campaign, his supposed win. Nothing. You shared a single last name, that was all. That was all. Eternity passes before they’ve grown tired, bored, before you’ve gone limp, crying quietly to yourself, your arms wrapped around you, protecting you from the cold of night. They’ve moved on, leaving you shaking, whimpering. Someone touches you, but you pull away, screaming at them to get away from you, get away. He just shushes you. It’s me, he says as gently as possible, It’s just me. You open your good eye, staring up at him. He’s bleeding. One of his eyes has gone completely red. He looks frantic, disheveled. He can’t think, he can’t breathe, all he can see is the crowd swarming around you, hurting you, you calling out for him and he’s unable to help. He’d never felt so helpless. Steadily, holding out his hands, he reaches for his jacket. He slips it off, putting it around your bare shoulders, making sure you see his every action. Despite yourself, you flinch. Despite yourself, you fall into him, shuddering, shaking, crying. He doesn’t think about it, instead instinctively putting his arms around you, holding you tight. It’s okay, he whispers, everything is going to be okay. 

He never meant for this to happen. 

Your brother never should have said what he did. You knew, under that faux laugh and eye roll was someone hurting, mourning, grieving. You tried to apologize later on, but by then the damage had been done. By Jeryd, by Kendall, by that stupid video going around. From the moment you met him you liked him. You didn’t care about the friendship between him and your brother, or that he was a Roy. He was funny, and kind when no one was looking. You’d only talked a few times, but you got the sense that he liked you, too. He went to seek you out at the election party, the two of you conversing in your own private corner for over an hour. He made you laugh easily, hysterically, until you were crying. Nothing was off limits. You spoke of your brother's political career, how it had made an impact on your life. It could be worse, you shrugged, trying not to sound inconsiderate. Roman was, after all, a huge help. He’d been with him from the beginning, most of the family had, too. You’d told him how sorry you were about his father, hugging him tight, and you noticed he didn’t resist or try to side-step you like he had others. His shoulders slumped a little. He was taking it in, really taking it in, grateful you weren’t made of plastic like everyone else. It could also be better, he objected. You just nodded, unsure of what to say. It could always be better. True. You’d lost a lot of friends because of Jeryd, a lot of people in your life. It felt like, sometimes, you only had Roman. He’d asked for your number, for anything about the campaign he’d said quickly after, but you understood. You texted, you called. Sometimes about your brother. Mostly about life. How you were doing, how he was doing. He wasn’t all defensive and witty over text. He dropped the exhausting act. It was nice. You were seeing the real him. When he took off you chased after him. You couldn’t let him do what he was going to do, whatever it was, fearing the worst. He walked down the street, past his car, towards the protesters. Your stomach dropped. You watched him get hit, once twice, before going down. You called to him, trying to save him from himself, climbing over the barrier. You shouldn’t have. It was stupid. But you couldn’t let him get hurt. That’s when they recognized you, that’s when they came after you. 

You stay like that for a long time. He rubs your back, hushing your cries. It’ll be okay, we’ll get you some help. Head pounding, sides aching, everything hurt. It hurts to breathe. Slowly you make your way to the other side of the barriers where he sits you down on the sidewalk, trying to access your wounds. You’ll need stitches, he thinks dreadfully, a lot of them. As carefully as possible, he wipes the blood away, red soaking into the sleeve of his white button up. Your head is pretty banged up and you might be missing a few back teeth. He can see the bruises forming in the opening of his jacket and your palms are bright red. You’d stopped crying, now embarrassed. I’m okay, really, you protested, fighting him, but the look in his eyes was scared and stern: stay put. You couldn’t stop yourself from apologizing. If you’d been smarter, if you thought for just one second, he wouldn’t have to be doing this. Roman was quite a moment, getting to your level on the ground. This is my fault, not yours. You were, you were just being a good person. You shake your head, going on and on about what an idiot you are, but he’s not listening. He tips your chin up, making you look in those big brown eyes. So sad, you think, so hurt. Listen to me, his voice soft, shaking. This wasn’t- it’s not- none of this was your fault, okay? You just shrugged, defeated. He calls a car that should be there soon. In the meantime he sits beside you, every so often dabbing your forehead. Is it as bad as it feels? You’re quiet now. How would you explain this to your brother? How could you explain your lack of thought? You just moved, you just acted, following him because you were worried, because you were petrified about what would happen to him if you didn’t. He’d never understand. You and Roman, you weren’t anything, but you cared about him and he cared about you. It didn’t have to have a name. It didn’t have to exist to everyone else. He shakes his head, dabbing the blood. You kinda pull it off. You smile, nudging him. Really, this could be the new look. You roll your eyes. You let your head rest on his shoulder, exhausted, the adrenaline wearing off. Everything hurts, everything aches. You reach with your tongue in two empty sockets. Your teeth must be over there, on the sidewalk. He puts his arm around you, letting it hover just above your skin, not wanting to cause anymore harm. He knows you’re tender, that the booze and emotions will wear off and you’ll be in a world of pain. The car pulls up just as he’s about to call. Slowly he guides you in, climbing in beside you. They start to drive quickly, towards the nearest hospital, every so often glaring up at you two. What a sight. Your poor eye, you whisper, touching the side of his bruised face. He holds your hands, knowing how they must burn. He didn’t care the least about himself, you were his only concern. You should see the other guy.

[broadstbroskis]

no better company than you | nathan mackinnon

a/n: alright, i’m rolling in late for @antoineroussel oussel summer exchange (thank you love, for running such a lovely exchange again, it was wonderful and i’m glad i was able to particiapte) and i’m very sorry for the lateness! i had the pleasure of writing for the lovely @ghstandpucks​ 💜 again, i am SO sorry about the wait but i hope you enjoy this! 

word count: 3.2k

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“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m late!” You slide into the booth and throw your bag down next to you, hoping to god you don’t look as frazzled as you feel; this restaurant is far too nice.

Nate just smiles at your words, too familiar with your family by now to know that you’re always running 5-10 minutes behind. He’s ordered a bottle of wine- a nice rosé, fitting for the beautiful end of summer day- and had already started pouring a matching glass for you the second you started sitting down. “How’d the interview go?”

You bite your lip. “Eh.” 

“I’m sure it went better than you think.” Nate says encouragingly. “You’re too hard on yourself. All three of you are.”

And well, that’s not a lie. Your siblings were just as critical of themselves as you were. Sid was famously known for it and Taylor, your twin, was as bad as you. But…

“Listen to you!” You laugh at him. Nate’s just as bad as the three of you. A mini-Sid in many ways, to many people in your hometown.

But that was in Canada. This was Denver. And here, Nate was cool. Laid-back. Lowkey. Everything a professional athlete should be. Nobody knew about what a dork he really was, except his teammates.

And now, maybe you too, if all went well with this job interview.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nate says, looking at his menu to feign ignorance.

You giggle, pulling your own up toward your face. “Sure, buddy.”

It’s not often that you and Nate spend time one on one like this, even if you see him all the time over the summer. He’s usually with your brother when you see him, politely trying to decline your mom’s invites to dinner or already hanging at Sid’s house when you invite yourself over to your brother’s house for pool or lake time. Usually time one on one with Nate like this is brief, usually like in passing while he’s waiting for Sid in the kitchen while you’re eating.

It’s nice. Nate’s funnier than people give him credit for and it’s easy to relax into dinner and conversation, to forget about the anxiety from your interview as you chat about what’s new for both of you and gossip about people you both know.

By the time he drops you off at your hotel, it’s late and you’re too tired (and maybe just on the right side of tipsy) to even worry about the interview. You just barely change into pajamas, run through your nightly routine, and climb into bed, before shutting the lights off. It feels like you’re asleep before your head even hits the pillow. 

In the morning, you’re awoken by the sound of your phone ringing, and it takes a second for you to place the sound, but when you do you pounce on it, recognizing the local area code immediately. “Good morning.” You say, trying your hardest not to sound like you woke up literally thirty seconds ago.

It’s human resources, from the job you interviewed for yesterday.

You got it.

-----

“Ew, no!” Your dad holds his hands up innocently, when you rush over to stop him from unpacking a box. “Why would you put that there?”

“Hey, sweetie, maybe it’s time for a break.” Your mom says gently, exchanging a look with your dad, who nods his agreement enthusiastically.

Which is fair. You’d just about almost taken his fingers off just because you didn’t like where he was unpacking colanders. 

“Dinner!’” Your dad latches onto immediately. “Nate offered to take us all out tonight, I’ll let him know we’re ready.”

“Ready?” You frown, looking down at your workout shorts and baggy t-shirt.

“We’ll be ready in an hour.” He amends, already texting Nate.

Nate knocks on the door to the new condo you’re renting an hour and fifteen minutes later, sheepishly grinning when your dad tells him that you and your mom still need a few minutes. “Thought I had my timing perfect.”

Your dad snorts. “Oh buddy. Keep dreaming.”

He’s not too off on his timing, but unfortunately for Nate, you don’t have too much else going for you in your condo yet. Your dad had gotten your TV all set up, but in addition to the TV and living room furniture, you haven’t gotten much else, and that includes food and beverages. So the two of them sit in mostly silence while they wait another few minutes for you and your mom to finish getting ready. 

“I told you that you should have just met us there.” You tell Nate, as he trips on a box on his way out the door.

“Oh, so this wasn’t deliberate sabotage?” He deadpans.

“You caught me. Just trying to keep you around the city full time until I have time to make better friends.”

Nate laughs, as the two of you follow your parents out the door. “Be nicer to me or I won’t introduce you to my friends.”

“Who said I want to be friends with your friends?”

“Children.” Your mom turns to look back at you and Nate smiles at her innocently, but it’s been a while since that’s fooled her. “Do we need to stay home?”

It serves to get the two of you moving, even as you laugh at her joke. Nate drives you to another one of his favorite restaurants, and dinner flies by, with Nate insisting on picking up the tab, even when your dad tries to fight him on it. 

It’s started to cool down a little by the time you’re walking back toward the car, Nate and your dad still fake-fighting about paying for dinner, and you find yourself not realizing you’re smiling at the two of them as you walk behind them until your mom bumps your shoulder. “A few hours off for dinner with some good company was just what you needed.” She says.

And even though the smile on her face seems too knowing, you’re too tired to ask about it right now, so you just nod in agreement. “Yeah, this was nice.” You smile back at her.

-----

Mel Landeskog pokes her head around the corner and you wave at her, trying to catch her attention. “Jesus Christ.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t think he was serious.”

“I mean.” You bite your lip. “I did have to work today.”

“I would have picked you up!” She shakes her head, muttering under her breath, and you know Nate’s going to get an earful from her later. “But no, no. That dumbass just let you come all the way over here by yourself. Sends me a text to come meet you by the door. All casual.”

“I mean.” You send her a look. “Did you expect anything different from Nate?”

It’s the way she looks at you and sets her face that almost has you nervous for Nate. You’ve known Mel for a long time now, but really, you don’t know her from more than just years of NHL events. “I do now.” She says.

You hope Nate knew what he was getting himself into sending Mel a text to come find you earlier.  

Once she leads you up into the box with some of the wives and kids, she’s back to smiling and laughing, making introductions all around. The mood all around is light and easy, everyone excited for the home opener of the season, and happy to be back with everyone again. 

It’s fun to be back in this atmosphere. Hockey’s been a part of your life for so long and there’s truly nothing like the energy of the first game of the season. You feed off the energy, catching up with some familiar faces and chatting with all the other girls, probably too excited when they invite you to a girl’s night later in the week, but it feels good to have plans that don’t involve trying to invite yourself to Nate’s when you’re bored.

“Hey, good job tonight.” You nudge him afterwards, catching up with him in the family room.

He laughs, pulling you in for a hug. “A little different than what you were used to?”

“It lived up to the hype, I guess.”

“I’ll turn you from a Pens fan.” Nate promises. 

It’s your turn to laugh. “Feel Sid’s wrath.”

“What’s he going to do? Check me into the boards? Bring it.”

Nate’s been hanging out with your brother and your family for years now, so he should really know better by now. “Okay, buddy.” You pat his shoulder patronizingly. “Sure.”

“I could take him.” Nate insists. 

“Throw hands. Next game. I dare you.” 

He side-eyes you, because you both know that’s not going to happen and it’s only a minute before you’re both laughing. 

“I better see you on Friday!” Ashley Kadri shouts out to you as she’s walking past with Naz and Naylah, interrupting your laughter. “No excuses!”

“I’ll be there!” You call back. “Promise!”

When you look back, Nate’s pouting-exaggerated, albeit, but pouting. “Are you ditching me this Friday?”

“Yup. Found better company.”

“How dare you?” He cries. “There is no better company.”

“Well.” You shrug. “I’ll know for sure after happy hour on Friday.”

“Find your own ride home.” Nate says and then he starts speed walking away from you at an absurd speed.

“Nate!” You protest, jogging to catch up and he finally slows down enough for you to catch up when you round the corner, bumping your shoulder right back when you purposely bump into him in retaliation.

-----

No one lets loose like a group of moms when they’ve got a night without their kids.

Someone has mentioned this to you before, at a bachelorette party or a wedding or something, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen it really in action before until this happy hour. 

“If the waitress comes back, order me another drink!” Kerry calls, before running off to the bathroom.

The waitress nods at her, before addressing the rest of you. “Another round?”

“Oh, please!” Mel nods quickly and repeatedly.

“Can we get a few more orders of mozzarella sticks too, please?” You look down at the empty plates in front of you. “And maybe some nachos too?”

“Yes!” Jackie lights up across from you. “Great call!”

It pretty much only goes downhill from there and by the end of the night, both Mel and Ashley are crying for reasons no one is sure of entirely and you’re pretty grateful to see Nate among the group of husbands and boyfriends to come to pick up all their girlfriends.

So grateful you scream his name the second you see him. “Nate!”

He winces, trying to pull his ear away from you, but he’s laughing. “Guess you had a good time, huh?”

“Uh huh!” You nod enthusiastically, not realizing how loud you are until he winces again.

Nate laughs. “Alright, I think it’s time to go home.”

You gasp loudly. “I can’t leave my new friends!”

“Your new friends are all leaving you!”

You frown, but look around and realize he’s right. Naz has already sneakily pulled Ashley out of the bar and Gabe and Erik were collecting Mel and Jackie’s things. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Nate parrots. “Come on, get your stuff, crazy girl.”

“Hey!” You protest, grabbing your purse. “I am the least crazy person in my family.”

“I hate to break it to you.” Nate says, as he guides you into standing. “But that’s not saying much.”

He’s right, but you bump him with your shoulder anyway as you walk past. That’s about sibling honor and shit.

Nate parked too far away and by the time you reach his car, you’re leaning on him, the adrenaline from hanging out with friends wearing off quickly. Nate’s nice about it, guiding you to his car and then helping you into his front seat before heading around to the driver’s side. 

“You guys had a fun time then?” Nate says, once he’s started driving and you’re half asleep leaning against the window. “Looks like it at least.”

“Yeah.” You nod sleepily. “But you were right.”

He chuckles. “About what?”

“There’s no better company than you.”

-----

Nate becomes pretty clingy after that night, texting and facetiming whenever he’s out of town, and stopping by pretty much anytime he’s got a free minute. It quickly becomes something you look forward to, missing his visits when he’s out of town and looking forward to his calls, smiling when his texts come in and breaking up your work day. And it isn’t long before you realize that you’re being just the same. Sending him messages before and after games. Inviting yourself over for dinner and making Nate cheat on his diet.

In a blessed move from the NHL scheduling department, Sid and the rest of the Pens are scheduled to arrive in town on a Friday morning and aren’t leaving until the end of the weekend. 

They have a practice scheduled for early afternoon, which is perfect for you to wrap up your work day before heading over to watch the end.

Geno lights up when he sees you watching from the glass, the first person to acknowledge you, and skating over in the middle of the drill, leaving behind two shocked linemates. “Mini!” He shouts cheerfully, even as you roll your eyes at your least favorite nickname. All because you happen to be the shortest of your siblings. “Great to see you.”

“You too, Geno.” You smile warmly at him, a little annoyed that you can’t get a giant bear hug from your favorite pseudo-older brother right away. “But I don’t think a few other people feel the same right now.” You jerk your chin back over his shoulder. 

He turns his head quickly but then looks back. “Psh. They’ll get over it.”

You bust out laughing, which is right about when your brother comes over, and in classic Sid fashion, is all about hockey. “Stop being a distraction.”

“I was minding my own business until Geno came over here!” You protest, even as Geno starts laughing and Sid eyes you skeptically. 

“Why don’t I believe that one?” Sid says dryly and sure, maybe you were making faces at some of the guys you knew well as they were passing you, but you weren’t actively being a distraction.

“That’s your prerogative.” You tell Sid, who shakes his head and pulls Geno back for the remainder of practice. 

Practice doesn’t last for too much longer and you spend a few minutes chatting with the coaching staff while you wait for Sid to change. But he and Geno finally come out of the locker room and you stop mid-sentence to throw yourself at your brother.

Sid’s laughing and so are you, but both of you start laughing even harder when Geno pulls you both into his arms. “Two of my favorite people!”

“Taylor’s going to be so offended.” Kris grins, watching the three of you amused.

“Taylor?” You grin back at him, going for a hug once Geno releases you. “How about his wife and kid?”

“Those are my other favorite people.” Geno reasons.

“Now I’m offended.” Kappy deadpans.

“You’re not even close.” Geno grins, roughing his hair.

Kappy tries to get him right back, but Geno just swats his hand away and then Sid’s shaking his head, like this is just the same shit, different day. “Look what you did.”

You grin, leaning against him. “Not sorry. I’ve missed this entertainment.”

Sid shakes his head. “Then you can round them up for dinner.”

You do. Easily.

Nate had suggested one of the team’s favorite restaurants and you’re happy to see that he’d accepted your invitation to join everyone, even if he rolls in a little late. You’re deep into Kris’ camera roll, looking at pictures of his kids and catching up on stories that you haven’t heard about them recently, so you don’t even notice he’s arrived and said hello already until he blows on the back of your neck.

You jump. “What the hell?”

Nate’s grinning. “Hey.”

You shake your head at him and bump your shoulders against him. “Hey.” You mimic and then turn right back to Kris.

But your shoulder stays leaning on Nate, and it remains there comfortably all night.

-----

Sid’s a little cranky when you first meet him for breakfast the morning after the game and you’re sure it has everything to do with the last minute turnover that cost them the game (and bragging rights over Nate this summer, which is really what he’s probably cranky about).

He gets over it pretty quickly though, and soon the two of you are laughing and talking, catching up about your family and your lives.

“-and I even love my office, the vibes are just great!”

Sid shakes his head. “Vibes.”

You grin. You know he hates that word. “Good vibes.” You confirm.

“So you’re liking Denver?”

“Love it.” You confirm, smiling.

“Meeting good people?”

You eye him skeptically. “Yes dad. I already said my coworkers are great and I’ve been hanging out with Nate and his friends a lot too. It’s good”

“Geno thinks there’s something going on between you and Nate.” Sid says casually.

The jump of your heart is far from casual. “Oh yeah?”

Sid eyes you but his response to that is surprising. “You know if there was something going on between you and Nate that would be okay?” He pauses, watching you again, but your face is completely neutral, purposely not moving. “Right?”

“You know if there was something going on between me and Nate that your opinion wouldn’t matter at all, right?”

He grins, laughing as he nods, but after he takes a bite of pancakes he says, “To you, yeah. To him, it does.”

“Why?” You blurt out, giving yourself away before you can stop yourself.

But Sid doesn’t say anything to that. He grins again and then changes the subject entirely.

-----

You only make it about a day before you’re knocking on Nate’s door, pretty forcefully.

“What’s up?” He swings the door open, with a frown. “You okay?”

“Does what my brother thinks really matter to you that much?” You blurt out. It’s been bothering you ever since Sid mentioned it at breakfast. That you lasted this long was probably a miracle.

Nate blushes and your jaw drops. “It-”

“Oh my god.” You grin delightedly. “Come on, really?”

“That’s not-” He blows out a frustrated sigh. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

You nod, but you’re pretty sure he’s not going to get far into what he’s going to say.

He sighs again. “It’s not about, like, his approval, or shit. It’s just- he’s important to you. So obviously he’s important to me-”

You kiss him. 

“You know that you don’t even have to worry about that, right?” At some point, you’d slid one hand to his hip and the other arm around his neck, and the hand there plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I’ll argue about that with you later.” Nate says impatiently and so you’re laughing when he kisses you again.

[g-g-freak]

Here’s a secret santa gift for @allalternate, I hope you enjoy this little story about Vegas and Kerry being beautiful dumbasses to its fullest extent! Belated Merry christmas, and Happy new year!

Snow isn’t really a thing that happens in Night city. Being on the east coast and low south, it’d seem downright apocalyptic for a white christmas to happen. Despite this hallmark sign of the holidays being nowhere to see, plenty of other signs greeted Vegas on the skyline. Red and green stripes flashing on the massive billboards, Santa Claus advertising for the newest cars and guns, big wide smile with pearly white teeth, behind a neatly trimmed and extraordinarily fake beard, washboard abs on display past the white fur trimmings of a red coat. Vegas sat out on the balcony underneath Kerry’s old mansion. Moving boxes were stacked high inside as the two prepared to move in together, in a place that wasn’t Vegas’ or Kerry’s, but theirs. Despite sitting in a not so well kept pool chair, unable to sleep and wrapped in a slightly itchy blanket, he couldn’t help but smile, just a little, at that thought. Theirs. There was just, something wonderful about that in the small hours of the morning, just before the sun rises, thinking of this next step in their lives, this next lap in the cycle.

There’s a light sound of bare feet against floor, and as Vegas turns his head to greet his lover, a palm slides against his cheek, holding his face. An exhale, and Vegas finds himself closing his eyes, his body relaxing as lips brush against his, stubble tickling just for a moment. Then, the pool chair creaks as Kerry sits down, and Vegas opens his eyes again. Kerry’s in his trademark gown, a little bleary eyed from being up way too soon. Vegas scoots over and opens up his ugly christmas blanket cocoon, draping it over the rockerboy’s shoulders as the two each wrap an arm around each other. While there may not be any snow falling tonight, the nights are still chilly, and their breaths can be seen swirling through the air. “Hey-” Kerry half-says, half-mutters as he leans his head against Vegas’, tired eyes looking at him. “-mind telling me why I’m snuggling a hot piece of ass at 2 in the morning outside in the cold? I’d much rather do it inside where parts of me won’t freeze off.” The hushed voice is loving, making Vegas snort before answering. “Just enjoying the view, and getting away from the clutter.” “Eh, fair enough, the dick that owns this place has too much shit~”

“Mmmh, no badmouthing yourself… But you do have a lot of shit.”

Kerry stifles a small laugh, wrapping an arm around Vegas more tightly. Another kiss on the cheek, and simple silence follows. In defiance of the cold, they stay out on that balcony under the house until the early rays of the sun hit the very tops of Night city’s skyscrapers, prompting the now sleeping couple to stir from their cuddle. “... uuuugh, Kerry, we screwed up.” “ Mmmh, no, noo, we didn’t, just a bit cold… Or, very cold… Nope, too cold, get up!” —

A short, but frantic and laughs-riddled scramble to get back inside for warmth in all its forms later, and Vegas finds himself sitting on one of the few barstools not wrapped up yet, wearing an oversized, and, truly ugly christmas sweater and sweatpants, horrendous store-bought things. It’s dotted with wonky stars and mismatched elves and deers, one sleeve longer than the other, but damn if it doesn’t combat the shakes and teeth chattering some. His arms are wrapped around himself, rubbing his ribs for that precious heat. His cheeks and nosetip are rosy red, and while sleeping out in the cold with naught but a lover and a blanket to keep one warm was immensely stupid, Vegas can’t stop having a wide smile plastered on his face.

Kerry’s got his back to Vegas, lightly bent over and squinting at the coffeemaker, grumbling “ Stupid thing never works… This is why I order at Capitans…” at the machine’s refusal to brew them a pot of that heavenly morning drink. It beeps and blinks and whirrs, yet nothing comes out… Until suddenly it finally grinds something deep in its guts, and out pours a brown liquid, though it doesn’t have that usual scent of beans and bitterness.

“Wait… Did I make fucking hot chocolate? I don’t, how… I didn’t even know that was an option?” In that moment, Vegas bursts out laughing, pressing his forehead against the counter in an attempt to contain himself. He hears Kerry quiet his grumblings, before stepping over and giving the bent over Vegas a moment to collect himself. Once the laughing fit has subsided, Vegas finally looks up at a perturbed, but smirking Kerry, and shakes his head in disbelief. “ahhh, sorry babe, I just, you made hot chocolate, on christmas, on accident! Did the machine come pre-packaged with the powder or something?” Vegas admits, running his hand through his hair as he stifles a few more chuckles and wipes a forming tear from his eye, while Kerry lets out a sound vaguely “Iunno” sound, looking back at the steaming mugs of cocoa, before looking out the window at the rising sun. “Seems kinda childish to drink this in the morning though…” “Ah c’mon, It’s christmas. In fact, you got any whipped cream or mini-marshmallows lying around?” At that, Kerry taps his chin a couple of times, before pointing and nodding, ducking under the counter and rummaging for a bit, calling out “Yeah! Last time the kids came over, we made s’mores. Been a, been a while, but hey, sugar doesn’t go bad quick, right?” “Right!” Kerry Re-emerges with an already opened, half-empty bag of marshmallows, roughly closed by being rolled up and secured with some elastic bands pulled around the middle of it, handing it over to Vegas to fumble with while he grabs the cups. Inside the bag, the marshmallows are a little wrinkled, but still perfectly white and only a little less fluffy than fresh ones, and as Kerry sets the cups down, Vegas wastes no time in plopping a small avalance of the snowy sweets into his own cup.

“Woah woah there, save some for your input’s drink!” Kerry exclaims while pushing his mug forwards, earning him a small smile and nod of apology as the cascade of old sugar moves to address this injustice. In the end, the two drinks are near overflowing, though one drink’s white mountain peaks a bit higher than the other, with Vegas very carefully hooking his fingers into the handles and nudging his head towards the living room.

—

Snow may not be a thing in night city, and the christmas specials on the huge screen may only be thinly veiled adverts and shallow garbage from the corporations, but sitting here, both hands on a warm cocoa drink, head on Kerry’s shoulder as he takes tiny sips and gains a growing cocoa mustache… Vegas couldn’t think of a better place to be. He looks up, and sneaks a quick kiss Kerry, tasting the hot chocolate before returning his head to its resting place, feeling Kerry’s hand gently combing through his hair, giving those messy auburn locks an affectionate tussle.

[mearcatsreturns]

15 for Abby/Luka

For reasons ;)

Under a cut because it's long.

July 2003

To: Luka Kovac <“croatdoctor65@aol.com”>

From: Abby Lockhart <“nursefirecracker@yahoo.com”>

Subject: I’m drowning and praying ghosts are real

Dear Luka,

Something about knowing that I’ll never talk to you again is just unbearable. I’ll never laugh at your malapropisms, look into your beautiful eyes, feel your strong hands holding mine, or make love to you again. There won’t be any more jokes about jam and cheese on toast, or you teasing me for my weak but constant supply of coffee. I’ll never hear your amazing, deranged laughter after you prank someone again. No more of your hugs—which are somehow the best hugs in the world. Because you’re gone.

It’s been three days since we got the call telling us you died thousands of miles from home, whether that’s here in Chicago or in Croatia. I didn’t know your dad’s name, Luka. We needed to call him, and I didn’t know. How did I not know? And now I can’t. I mean, L’Alliance told us his name, but the fact that I’ll never learn pieces of your history, of the wonderful man you are, FROM you...how am I supposed to go on and live my life?

For years, I’ve thought medicine was my great thwarted love. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and I thought I was bitter about having to let go of that dream. Now I wonder. I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing medicine, and it’s made me...well, it’s part of why I was so unhappy. But that makes me think about how I also let obstacles get in the way of us. I was happy with you, you know, until I let fear and my mother and Carter get in the way. God, I wish I could do that over again. We could have had everything, and if I hadn’t gotten in my own way, I’d be happy. I think maybe I could have made you happy, too.

It’s funny. I knew things with Carter weren’t working, and he implied you were part of it. I said it wasn’t, but then five minutes later, I found out you were—are—dead. And I realized you were the reason, or one of the big ones. As soon as Chuny told me, I knew I loved you and had loved you for years. Yeah. Great timing, isn’t it? I keep thinking that maybe I could have kept you from going if I had known or if I had told you. I didn’t want you to go when I thought you were my very attractive friend and ex that I still was fond of. Knowing that I love you—how do I move past that? Knowing that I lost you, first to my stupidity and then to death?

I just...I miss you, and I don’t when I’ll stop, or how to. Susan caught me crying on my last shift, and I didn’t even know what to say. I feel like I’ve been crying or standing still, brittle and stuck in time, since I heard the news. I can’t, Luka. I know I have to keep on moving, and I thought maybe writing you would help. I know you’ll never see this, never have a chance to respond. But the idea that some fragments of your soul linger and can maybe sense...I don’t know. That I’m writing? What I’m feeling? Jesus, this is crazy.

All my love,

Abby

Abby angrily swipes the tears from her eyes. God, what’s the point of writing this? He’ll never see hsi email or her again. Just...without Luka, how can the world be anything but grim and sad and pointless?

She laughs mirthlessly. Maybe it doesn’t matter. No, she knows it doesn’t. Because Abby knows the futility of it, aches with the meaninglessness, she presses send without another thought.

&&&

Three days after that, a miracle occurs. Luka, the Lazarus of this new millennium, comes back from the dead. He’s never been dead, and maybe, Abby thinks, there’s a God above after all. So many people wish for this exact boon, and she—they, the world—gets it. Some higher power believes this planet is a better place with Luka Kovac in it, and Abby is ecstatic.

Until she remembers the email and that they can’t be unsent.

It’s fine. She’ll be fine. Luka is coming back, apparently with a French nurse. Maybe he’ll just delete it without reading it. Maybe it didn’t go through—how does email work for the dead, and how quickly is all that processed?

Abby shakes her head. It doesn’t matter; Luka is alive and returning to them. She can handle a little awkwardness in the face of the sheer joy of knowing the world is a brighter, kinder place. He’s coming back, and that’s what’s important.

&&&

August 2003

It takes Luka almost a week after returning to Chicago to convince Kerry and the other staff to let him go back to his apartment. Even so, they only agree when Gillian assures them she’ll see to his every need.

Abby winces when she hears that, and it makes something flutter in Luka’s chest. Which probably isn’t good for his malaria, but the hope...that is.

It’s another two days of lying in bed before he has the energy to ask Gillian to bring him his laptop. At this point, it’s been months since he’s checked his email, and Luka grimaces at the undoubtedly horrible state of his inbox. He briefly considers never checking again and just getting a new one, but he knows his father struggled to add him to his contacts once already. To expect it of him again would be absurd.

With a sigh, Luka opens his email. It’s just as bad as he feared. He snorts at the myriad messages about Viagra, Nigerian princes, and Russian brides, deleting them without thought. He saves a couple from his dad. He slowly whittles down his inbox, but he freezes when he gets to one email in particular, sent about a month ago.

It’s from Abby, during the time everyone thought he was dead.

Luka considers calling and asking her if someone hacked her email or is sending spam from her account, but the subject line...it looks real. And Abby’s been odd around him lately, seeming both deliriously happy to see him and awkwardly nervous.

His heart pounds, and he clicks to open it. If this is a spammer, they’re probably about to get whatever they want.

&&&

Abby pours herself another coffee, internally swearing as she prepares for the last two hours of her shift. Deciding to go back to school is great; having to coordinate all the details is less thrilling and leaves her tired and cranky.

Frank ducks his head into the lounge, beady eyes narrowing on her. “Hey, Abby. The Croat is on the phone for you. Line 2. Try to get back out there as fast as you can, Weaver’s yelling at the med students about IVs.”

“Okay, Frank,” Abby says, though she flushes and her palms start to sweat. It’s fine. She can always hide the panic and butterflies in her stomach with sarcasm. It has yet to fail her.

Frank gives her one last suspicious look, then nods and heads back to Admit.

Abby takes a deep breath, then picks up the phone. “Hey, Luka?”

“It’s me. Glad I could reach you. How are you?” He sounds...ugh. So good. And eager and happy, and her heart could leap right out of her chest.

“Doing all right. I just have a couple hours left on this shift, and it hasn’t been too awful today. Only one MVA. How about you? You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Recovering. Listen, did you want to come over for dinner?”

“Please tell me you’re not trying to cook.”

“What? I’m a good cook, even if you don’t appreciate wonderful, traditional Croatian dishes,” he says with a chuckle.

“Luka, you just got out of the hospital five days ago. You still need to be resting.”

“Abby, don’t worry so much. I was just kidding. I have some sandwiches from Manny’s, and Anna sent me home with lots of matzo ball soup too.”

Abby bites her lip. Of course she wants to go. But the prospect of spending the evening with Gillian cooing over Luka, knowing that she shares a bed with him, is decidedly less appealing. And there’s the email she sent, which Luka hasn’t acknowledged. He might well have deleted it, or he’s giving her a gracious out.

Her conscience twinges as soon as she thinks about bailing, though. Didn’t she promise herself she wouldn’t take life for granted anymore? She’ll go back to med school, she’ll have dinner with Luka when he asks.

“Abby?”

She starts, realizing she needs to respond. “Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. I can be there an hour after my shift, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.” He has no idea how much, even if she wishes she knew for sure that he’d deleted the email.

&&&

Abby rings Luka’s doorbell three and a half hours later. She’d meant to come straight from work, but after a patient vomited on her, she decided to head home, shower, and splurge on a taxi to Luka’s. The poor man is recovering from being deathly ill and doesn’t need County’s fumes making things worse.

There’s the sound of the deadbolt sliding, and Luka answers the door, grinning happily at her. “Good, you made it! Come on in!”

“I did. Sorry it took me longer than expected.” Abby steps into his apartment, looking around. It’s been such a long time since she’s been here, and she notes the subtle changes in the art and decor.

“No worries. I know how it goes.” He places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her inside.

Abby stiffens for a second at how his touch burns even through the layers of her shirt and light jacket, but she relaxes, enjoying the feel while she waits for Gillian to appear and end the fleeting joy.

Luka is unfazed. “Now, of course we can just eat the sandwiches, but if you want to heat up the matzo ball soup, you can. Since you don’t want me standing,” he says with a wink.

Abby smiles back, shaking her head. “Oh, I see how it is. Make the woman who worked all day do more household work when she gets ho—wait, where’s Gillian? Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of you?”

“She’s not here,” he says simply.

Going to the fridge and taking out the containers of soup, Abby places them in the microwave. Is Gillian out for the evening, or is she gone gone? “Shouldn’t you be with her? Or her here with you, whatever.”

Luka is quiet for a long minute, and Abby wonders if he intends to answer. Finally, he breaks the silence. “I asked her to leave.”

Abby’s pulse speeds up. “What? Why?”

Luka takes a deep breath, clearly ready to respond, and—

The microwave dings, and they both jump. Exchanging a sheepish look, they laugh.

“Look, let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Abby dishes up their soup and sandwiches, preparing trays so they can sit on the couch. Luka turns on the television, and Abby’s heart rate comes back under control. They sit together in companionable silence while they eat and watch Thom and Jai and the rest of the Fab 5 whip some hapless lawyer’s life into order. When they finish their meal, Abby cleans up, taking the trays back to the kitchen.

She heads back to the couch at the opposite end from Luka, not daring to get closer when she really has no idea what’s going on.

Luka clears his throat and mutes the TV. “So, yeah. I asked Gillian to leave.”

“Oh. So, um, did you break up?”

“She was never my girlfriend, really. She has a boyfriend back in Montreal, they just…” Luka shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.

Abby is more lost than ever. “Ah.”

Taking a deep breath, Luka continues, finally looking over at her. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she helped me get here and took care of me, but we were never serious.”

Something starts to tug at Abby’s heart, squeezing and twisting and kicking to get free. Is it...hope? “Well, I’m glad she got you here safe, but you should have someone staying with you while you recover, Luka. Malaria is dangerous.”

He gives her a look. “I know how dangerous malaria is. I’m getting better. And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair for me to ask her to stay when things are over because I’m in love with someone else.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “Someone else?” she squeaks.

Luka nods, swallowing. “Yeah. And I have a reason to think she might be in love with me too.” He slides over to her side of the couch, reaching for her hand.

Abby meets his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that are the best color in the world—and squeezes his hand, incapable of words. Does he mean…?

With his other hand, Luka reaches up and cups her cheek, running his thumb along the subtle arch of her cheekbone. “Abby, if you’ve changed your mind since you sent that email, please tell me to shut up.”

That stupid, ridiculous email might be the best thing she’s ever done in her life. She leans into his hand, licking her lips as she shakes her head slightly. “I haven’t changed my mind. I didn’t mean for you to see it and hoped I could learn how to hack computers and delete it but—”

Luka cuts her off. “I would never forgive you if you managed to delete it. You wouldn’t believe how much faster I healed after that.”

Abby leans forward, sliding into Luka’s waiting arms. “Then maybe I’ll write you some more emails.”

“Emails aren’t what I want right now,” Luka says.

Funny, Abby doesn’t either. Then his lips brush hers, and all her worries and fears fade away. She knows she has to tell him about med school and he needs to finish recuperating, but when Luka deepens their kiss and pulls her closer, Abby ceases to think at all.

She has Luka back, and now they have each other again.

[arvinsescape]

Big family vaca with readers family like uncles aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, and like whole big family, and then Tom coming along. The family vaca is like a yearly thing in her family, but it's Tom's xirst time coming, since he couldn't come the year before do to shooting. And he hasn't met the outer part of her family, only her parents, so he is very nervous. They know he is Tom Holland, but the small kids don't, and when they see him they all believe he is the real Spider-Man and Peter Parker, and the kids just wanna hang out with him, and they call him Peter.

A/N: Thank you for sending this in! I LOVED writing this and i hope you enjoy!!

“Why are you so nervous?” You laughed as you waited for the transport to arrive. You were going on your annual family holiday, you were going to be stopping in two villas next to each other. It was a yearly tradition to make sure everyone saw each other and Tom hadn’t been on one yet, last year he was busy shooting so this was his first time.

“I haven’t met some of your family that are going. In fact i think i've only met your parents.” He mumbled and you kissed his cheek.

“They’re awesome I promise! My cousin is fun, you’ll get on really well, she’s got two kids though and they can be quite inquisitive so I apologise in advance for that.” You laughed and he joined.

“What if they think I’m a stuck up actor?” He worried and you smiled softly at him.

“They won’t Tom because you’re not. They don’t judge you know, they’re just like my mum and dad.” You calmed his nerves as the transport arrived. You would be sharing with your cousin, her husband and her two kids because you lived the closest. As soon as you got into the van the kids almost screamed.

“It’s Spiderman!” James screamed as he pointed at Tom and you burst out laughing.

“James! It’s rude to point. I’m so sorry Tom. I’m Kerry it’s so nice to meet you.” Your cousin said and James’ sister, Amelia looked awestruck.

“Who’s Tom? That’s Peter Parker.” James said in confusion and Kerry rolled her eyes.

“No that’s-“

“Peter Parker, nice to meet you.” Tom spoke in his Spiderman voice and Kerry looked so impressed that he was happy to appease the kids and you smiled as the kids almost jumped out of their seats.

You took your seats as James and Amelia sat behind you, Tom was in in for an entertaining ride to the airport.

“So Spiderman.” James started. “Who is fighting crime when you’re on holiday?” You, Kerry and her husband, Nick found that hilarious.

“Well Mr Stark covers for me so I can have a holiday.” Tom answered without breaking character and you swear you fell more in love with him.

“You know Ironman?” Amelia asked, she was a couple of years younger than James, she was four so her memory of the films was quite limited.

“Of course he knows Ironman, he’s an avenger.” James spoke confidently as he crossed his little arms over his chest and you stifled a laugh.

“But Peter aren’t you going out with MJ? Why are you here with Y/N?” James asked and Kerry shook her head.

“Okay James that’s a little rude, we don’t ask questions like that.” Kerry spoke and James huffed.

“Well actually Y/N is my real life girlfriend and MJ is my pretend girlfriend.” Tom or ‘Peter’ spoke again and James seemed somewhat happy with the answer, at six he was still too young to understand how it worked.

“Okay kids that’s enough, Tom’s on holiday so let him chill out yeah.” Nick spoke and Amelia nodded quietly, she was a lovely kid, really sweet and quiet. Almost the opposite of James who was quite mischievous and outspoken. James huffed as he sat back in his seat and pulled out his switch.

Amelia leant forward and quietly spoke to Tom. “I’m sorry spiderman.” She said with a small smile and your heart soared, she was adorable.

“That’s okay.” Tom gave her a reassuring smile and she grinned.

“Sorry, I forgot to mention that the kids are obsessed with spiderman. You can correct them if you want.” You said quietly and he chuckled.

“It’s fine really, I don’t mind. It’s nice to know you can make people happy you know. Plus I bet they ask me more interesting questions than some of those interviewers do.” He laughed.

“Just wait until you meet the other two.” You smirked. The journey to the airport was quite quiet, Tom was chatting away to Nick and Kerry and the kids kept looking at him confused when he spoke in his normal accent, it was quite amusing.

You got a text from your aunt to say where they all were and you made your way towards them, as soon as James caught sight of your Aunty Leanne he grabbed Tom’s hand and practically pulled him towards her.

“Aunty Leanne look! Spiderman is here.” He said excitedly as your boyfriend laughed. Leanne looked confused for a second before it clicked that they really did think Peter Parker had come on holiday with them.

“Well that’s fantastic, we won’t have to worry about any bad guys will we.” She said as she hugged James. Amelia had taken your hand as she fell into a walk beside you.

“Y/N? Do you think spiderman will mind if I ask him a few questions?” She asked quietly and you smiled as you bent down to pick her up.

“No, I’m sure he’d love to answer your questions.” You smiled as she kissed your cheek. Amelia was just like you as a kid, she was very wary of talking to new people and it took her a little while to get comfortable, again completely the opposite of her brother.

“Really?” Her eyes lit up and you kissed her nose.

“Really. You can sit with us on the plane if you want?” You smiled. You knew that if Amelia was gonna get a word in edgeways you were gonna have to separate her from the boys, they were all good kids, truly but they were far louder and more outspoken than her.

As if on queue two boys came barrelling towards James as they tackled him to the floor. Your other cousin trying to stop them. You laughed at the scene as you watched the boys have their yearly tussle on the ground.

“Look Luke, Jake. It’s spiderman.” James said as he pointed to Tom and they both whipped around to look at him.

“No way! It’s Peter Parker.” Luke said. He was twins with Jake and the same age as James.

“Can you shoot a web over there please?” Jake said and they all looked at him expectantly.

“I left my web shooters at home boys I’m so sorry.” Tom said, he was good at keeping character in front of your whole family.

“He’s in for a fun holiday.” Your mum said as she found you.

“He certainly is.” You laughed.

The plane ride was relatively chill, the boys had argued at first over who got to sit next to Tom and huffed when you told them you’d already said Amelia could. Amelia was coming out of her shell on the plane as she spoke to Tom more and Tom found her as adorable as you did. She was asking him questions that he was happily answering as you turned around awkwardly to speak to Kerry and Nick.

The holiday was amazing, Tom had nothing to worry about he got along with your family so well and the kids loved him. You’d tried to explain to them that Tom was Tom but they weren’t having it. “No Y/N, that is peter, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” They insisted on playing with him all the time.

He became somewhat of a baby sitter but he didn’t mind, everyone found it endearing. Amelia came out of her shell completely by day two and was playing along, although you think she found the place of favourite in Tom’s heart although he wouldn’t admit it. They had him doing flips and all sorts throughout the holiday, you felt sorry for him at times but he looked like he was having a crazy amount of fun.

“He’s really good with kids you know.” Kerry had said.

“Yeah, he is.” You smiled as you watched them all play in the pool with Tom and their respective dads.

“I really like him, i think he’s good for you.” She said and you smiled.

“Yeah, i think he is too. I really love him you know.” You said.

“I know and I know he loves you. He might be a very good actor but you can’t fake that look of love.” She said and you both laughed as you watched James throw a ball that almost hit Amelia in the face until Tom caught it easily.

“Spiderman saved me.” Amelia screamed as she hugged Tom and he smiled.

[papirlife]

Chipin’ In

Okay so I’ve had minimal exposure to this game from the start, and I only just finished the main quest line enough to get to Chipin In and I am SPEECHLESS. So please find my interpretation of chipin in from my V’s perspective. But feel free to comment because honestly I think it could really apply to any V’s out there and I like analyzing stuff. Fair warning this is LONG, you have been warned.

So in my canon game, by this point V and Johnny have worked together enough to build up a strong sense of camaraderie. While V never truly hated Johnny, even if they were wary of him at the start, what with their rough introduction, by this point, V’s started to tentatively trust him, and even rely on him in some situations. They’ve started to feel comfortable in his presence, and been more open with their thoughts, ideas, emotions because despite sharing a brain, they’ve still kept their guard up as best they can.

My V ( Vendetta) is a very distant person, they like keeping to themselves, they don’t like to drink because they hate being out of their senses, the only time they willingly touched alcohol was at Jackie’s funeral, as a way to honour him and pay their respects. Other than indulging in the occasional smoke, to settle their nerves and get Johnny to stop gripping so much they’re very reserved, solitary and not at all interested in such things.

So to have enough trust in Johnny after they realized he kept them safe when they blacked out and when he gave them his tags to allow him to take this step and settle his past once and for all, only for him to go and completely throw in their face sent them reeling.

They were scared outta their mind when they woke up in the motel room. V didn’t know where they were, the relic was acting up, they were half dressed, and their brain felt like it was gonna vibrate out of their skull. The only familiar thing they saw was Rogue, and that wasn’t really helpful because at this point they weren’t terribly fond of her. They respected her, and admired her skills but they ABSOLUTELY DID NOT wanna wake up in a shitty room with her looming over them.

When the pieces start falling together and the events of last night start coming back to them, V is just numb, and their not sure if it’s because of their emotions or if it’s because of the remains of whatever the hell Johnny swallowed the night prior. Either way when he makes an appearance V just wants him GONE, he’s the last person they wanna see. During their conversation in the motel, he’s shocked that they didn’t trust him still, and V is just...not having it because their trust in him before this wasn’t solid, giving him control had been as much of test for him as it was for them, and he blew it by violating their faith in him, lying to them not once but again and again and then violating their body despite knowing their reservations. And the fact, that he was being a prick when they woke, making it out to seem that THEY were the one’s overreacting, was just icing on the cake.

After the brief conversational the motel, V just gives him the silent treatment, they ignore him, they don’t acknowledge him, don’t turn in his direction if he shows up, they’re just on autopilot and the only thing they want is to go home.

V was FURIOUS; they were hurt, upset, frustrated, but they were also angry at themselves for trusting him. They get home, and just break down because they’re overwhelmed, the last few weeks have been rough and this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back and they feel like an idiot for it all. To top it off, they also have to acknowledge that they we’re starting to feel something FOR Johnny; not love, at least not yet, but that’s likely where it was headed and it just makes everything so much worse because V had tried to ignore those emotions up until now, and they had a suspicion that Johnny has as well but this episode brought everything to the surface and made them face it head on.

The best part is Johnny has a front row seat to all of this, and when V breaks, down he really starts to feel like shit too because it’s the first time in his life that he gets to the experience the emotion behind all the pain he caused not just to V but to everyone who dared to care about him, who tried to get through to him. And he hates it.

Eventually V, starts to become a little more clear headed, and then they start thinking and that’s when the doubts set in. They start doubting everything between them and Johnny, each interaction and conversation, every word he spoke to them at Pistis Sophia, the dog tags he gave them as a show his trust, his potential sacrifice, his regard for them and their safety, the friendship and sense of camaraderie they had built up together; all of it gets thrown out the window because now the the only thing V can think is “how much of it was a lie? How much has he manipulated me into helping him, liking him, agreeing with him? How much, if any of it was true?”

Because, in their mind, had he really cared about them, he would have been honest, upfront or he wouldn’t have done something like this in the first place regardless of wether it was intentional or not.

Meanwhile, Johnny’s freaking out, V’s not holding anything back, they’re letting him read their thoughts loud and clear because right now they could care less about anything he has to say to them and Johnny is freaking the fuck out because damn it, this isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how it was supposed to go, that promise, the tags it was all true, and it’s all he can give them because he’s got nothing else to show them that he does care.

It’s when V gets up off the floor, and locks the tags away in a safe in their armory, that the panic sets in and Johnny is just going like fuckfuckfuckfuck.

When Rogue calls, after a whole day of not speaking to him or really anyone for that matter, Johnny fully expects V to call off the hunt on Smasher, and he knows that Rogue won’t go after him alone. But to his shock, V agrees and heads down to the Afterlife, to work out the details because they made him a promise and unlike him they inteended to keep it. And Johnny hopes to god that maybe yesterday was just a fluke, maybe they can just forget the whole thing, never talk about it again and just be normal.

But he knows in the back of his mind that that’s not gonna happen because while V is still keeping their end of the bargain, he can still feel how hurt they are because of him and this is just further confirmed because when Rogue’s presents them with the jacket, V thanks her, but asks if they can just leave it in the trunk for now. They continue to ignore him, and just try and get through the night as quickly as possible.

They’re trying to numb their emotions, numb the hurt. But it comes to a head during the confrontation with Grayson because V can’t ignore how they feel, they can’t pretend that they don’t care about Johnny, that they don’t care about his life, his mistakes, his past. That they don’t care and about what happened to him, or what will happen to him depending on how all this pans out. Which is why V gets defensive when Grayson starts talking crap, starts stalling or making a mockery of Johnny’s legacy.

And this is what kinda prompts Johnny to make an attempt to fix his mess, because up until now he fpthought that V likely hated him for what he’d done. But seeing them getting protective, defending him, gives him a little hope that maybe, just maybe he can salvage this.

When V gets into the Porsche and heads to the Oil Fields, when they hear the shear amount of pain and disappointment and remorse in Johnny’s, they mark his place in the field, and decide that while yes they’re hurt, they don’t hate him, they doubt they could ever hate him.

Some part of Johnny still hopes that he didn’t colossally fuck up, which is why he tentatively says that their friendship is the one thing he hasn’t managed to ruin but he knows he’s put a permanent dent in their relationship, which is why I think that if you choose not to confront him he thinks you’re being insincere, because throughout the whole quest, from every interaction they have together, you can tell that V is upset because of what happened, and he knows because they share an intimacy that could never hide this fact from him so if you suggest otherwise it feels like you’re just avoiding the elephant in the room.

But he recognizes his mistake after V points it out, he understands that he did them wrong, that he had no right to use them, use their body the way he did, and the dealbreaker here is that he recognizes it and he apologizes and asks them for a second chance. And V truly forgives him, because the apology in and of itself is a miracle, because the old Johnny would never even think to apologize, just let the wound sit and fester and ignore the emotional trauma that came with it. But this Johnny, the one here and now, has grown and he wants to set things right, with Rogue, with Kerry and especially with V. And V sees this, sees the remorse, hears his apology, and decides that yes, this Johnny deserves a second chance. And in my canon, this is a turning point in their relationship, and it’s where they start to develop something like love for each other, even if they don’t t realize it just yet.

[tired0artist]

not enough (part four)

>part one< >part two<

>part three<

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

warnings: angst, fluff, confessions, a lot of guilt, crying, amnesia, happy ending,

summary: continuation to the last parts.

note: next part will be the final one (a bit of a epilogue really), as always I’m describing my V.

————<•>————

Her surroundings were bright as she opened her eyes, immediately hissing in pain.

“V?”

She looked to her right where Panam and Judy were standing, their cheeks wet from tears.

“H-Hey—“ V said weakly, as Panam pounced on her. Hitting her shoulder yelling.

“Fucking ‘hey’?! The fuck were you thinking you gonk?!?!? You fucking reckless asshole! You fucking dick!”

Judy stood beside the hotheaded nomad, not making a move to stop her.

V hissed and said “Hey! Go easy on the patient will ya?!”

“Fuck you” said Panam but stopped hitting her, instead crossed her arms, looking away.

“Okay girls that’s enough. You can beat her reckless ass when she’s all healed up” said Kerry as he walked inside.

Panam nodded, clearly pleased with that. Judy too nodded and eyed V silently.

Yep. Definitely she will get her ass kicked.

Kerry took V’s hand in his with a relieved smile “I’m glad that you’re back with us. Although you’ll get some shit from Rogue and me, when you get better”

V rolled her eyes “She sent me to do the job—“

“Because she got intel that it was a small action. Not a whole warehouse of psychopaths, V. And you know that you call that in, before you go in guns blazing”

At this she looked away saying “I thought that I would handle them...”

“HANDLE OVER FIFTY PEOPLE?!!” Panam snapped as Judy sighed next to her.

“Alright enough, you’ll nag her when she’s all healed up. Now everyone out, I need to check on her” said Victor as he emerged from behind a curtain where V could see someone laying on the medical chair.

The three of them left and V let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks Vik—“

“Don’t thank me kid. I’m on their team. You’re a reckless gonk, kid”

“I’m sorry okay? I just... I didn’t think okay?” V admited, looking away.

Victor sighed “Well. Thankfully your ‘guardian angel’ got you here”

V laughed a bit, asking “Threw your patient off of the table?”

“He did. Although this time I could see him”

She laughed again and flinched at the pain in her stomach. Still she asked.

“So he brought me here and left? Kinda typical of him, these days”

Victor stayed silent as he checked her wound, but when he was done, he let out a sigh and said.

“After he brought you here, he wouldn’t leave the room”

V’s heart skipped w beat as she asked “Then, why did he leave?”

“He didn’t. He’s still here” Victor said nodding to his side, where V could see that the patient she saw earlier was Johnny.

She sat up immediately “Johnny—?!” only to get pushed back down by Victor who shook his head.

“Don’t move, kid. The wound is still closing—“

“What’s wrong with him? What happened?” V asked, cutting Victor off.

The ripperdoc ran a hand down his face, saying “The relic, it malfunctioned. A bit like it did with you, but it’s not overriding his consciousness. It’s joining it”

“But his consciousness already came from the damn chip! What else is getting out of it?” V asked, her heart clenching in fear at the possibility of something invading Johnny’s mind.

Victor sighed once again “I don’t know, kid. All I know that something is coming out of the chip. We won’t find out until he wakes up”

“And when will that be? Is he in another coma?” V asked still terrified.

“No. I’m keeping him under until the chip is done. He was waking up and passing out from the pain. It’s better to keep him unconscious, less pain” Victor said, a shadow of pity showing on his face.

V looked to where Johnny was laying. He looked peaceful. Much like he did in his coma...

“Hey Vik?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you... bring him closer to my chair? I—“

Victor was already moving, stopping her with a nod and look of understanding.

Soon their chairs were beside each other and V immediately grasped Johnny’s hand.

“I’ll leave you for a while. Get some more sleep, kid” Victor said and patted her shoulder.

V nodded and whispered “Thank you, Vik”

He nodded and left the room.

Her gaze stayed on Johnny as she started falling asleep, their hands joined.

“Please be okay...” she whispered, as her eyes finally shut.

Next time she woke up, it was to a feeling of something running through her hair. Her eyes lazily opened and met with a pair of dark eyes.

She was immediately awake, as she reached her hand towards Johnny’s cheek.

“You’re awake” she stated looking at him, still in shock “Are you alright?”

Johnny grinned at her, and her heart skipped a beat. It was so familiar to the way he looked at her back when he was inside her head.

“Fine, sweetheart. But my head still is banging like after a good fucking after party” he said with a small smirk, before asking “And you? You’re the one who got shot. Very stupidly may I add”

V was so confused by his behaviour, but still answered “I’m okay... thanks for saving me. But the chip. Is it okay?”

Johnny shook his head and sat up, grabbing a cigarette from his pocket “It’s fine. But I thought that it was trying to blast my brain from inside. Much like it was with you, whenever the fucking thing malfunctioned”

V nodded “Yeah... that fucking sucked ass...”

“It did. I fucking hope that the thing gave me all of the memories back, cause I will be pissed off if it happens again”

She laughed “Yeah, I would be too. But if it stopped then, you must have all of the memories ba—“

Memories.

V suddenly jumped in her chair and grabbed Johnny by his shoulders, startling him a bit.

“Mermories? Johnny are you— do you—?”

Immediately the asshole smirked “You changed your hair. I honestly liked it swiped back, but I guess I’ll life through the side parting—“

V stopped him by grabbing him by his neck and kissing him, roughly. Tears escaping her closed eyes.

Johnny kissed her back just as roughly, as if he was waiting his whole life to just to that. He threw aside his already extinguished cigarette and wrapped his arms around her body. Wanting nothing else by to feel her close to him.

Surprisingly, it was Johnny who pulled away first. He put his hands on V’s cheeks, making her shiver at the coldness of his metal hand.

“V... fuck. I’m so sorry. The way I treated you—“

“Was fucked up” V said nodding at him “I didn’t deserve that, we both know that. And when I feel better I’ll kick you in the balls, for that”

Johnny laughed “There’s my girl! Well, I definitely deserve that”

“You do, you fucking dick” V said with a smile.

“Although I hope that after that kick, I’ll get some treatment hmm? To get the pain away?” Johnny said, his hands now going down to her waist. Carefully avoiding her wound.

V snorted and leaned forward, bitting his lip and then moving to whisper in his ear “We’ll see. Maybe you’ll just get a broken nose instead”

He laughed once more “Nah.. you love my face too much to damage it”

She leaned away and looked him in the eyes, saying with a smirk “Actually, I always wanted to punch you in the face. Rubb that shit-eating grin off of your face”

Johnny didn’t answer as he stared at her, when finally saying softly.

“I love you, Violette”

V blushed red at the sound of her name, but soon answered.

“And I love you” she smirked and added “Robert”

He groaned “And here I was trying to be romantic”

“Hey! You pulled out my name first! Besides. Johnny Silverhand being romantic? Sounds like a lot of bullshit”

“Because Violette is a beautiful name. It’s your name. And fuck off. That was the last time I tried to be romantic, cunt”

V laughed and said “And I think that Robert is a very cool name. I mean. The first time I saw you, I was like. Oh yes! That’s a Robert right there!”

Johnny pushed her gently, as she laughed “Fuck off, cunt”

She grinned “You love me, you don’t want me to fuck off”

“I guess, I’ll just have to survive with you” he said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

V watched him and couldn’t stop smiling. She felt so happy and warm.

“I love you, Johnny” she said once again, not wanting to ever stop saying it to him.

He smiled at her and kissed her hair “And I you, sweetheart”

Next morning V was leaving Victor’s clinic, with a promise not to do more dumb shit. She went up to Misty’s shop and let her read her tarot.

As the women were chatting, they heard a car stop outside. V immediately recognised the sound of the engine.

“I guess your ride is here” Misty said with a smile.

“I guess so. Okay I’ll call you later Misty, thank you for the tarot thingy”

“Bye, V”

V walked outside to see the Porsche standing in front of the shop, with Johnny leaning against it. He immediately straightened and walked over to her, taking the bag full of medical supplies from her.

“Hey, there sweetheart” he said and leaned down to kiss her softly.

She smiled against his lips and said as they pulled away “Hey, yourself. I thought that Kerry was coming to get me”

Johnny snorted as he lead her to the passenger seat “Told the old man to stay in his villa, was worried he would flatline along the way”

V raised her brow at him “Johnny you’re even older than Kerry”

The asshole looked down at his body as if checking, saying “I don’t think so. I’m still 34, sweetheart”

“Your body is 34. And you’re 90 Johnny” V deadpanned.

He shrugged and opened the doors for her “It’s really your issue not mine. I am dating a hot young chick”

“Oh, so we’re dating now?” V asked with a smirk, while getting inside the car.

Johnny leaned on the car and kissed her, as she sat inside. She moaned softly as he bit her lip and licked it, then he pulled away and said with a wink.

“I’ll take that as a yes” before she could say anything, he closed her door.

She shook her head and flipped him off as he ran around the car to sit in the drivers seat.

He hopped inside and started the engine, putting his glasses on. Johnny pointed at her saying seriously “Respect your elders, punk”

“I think you meant to say fossil” V quipped back.

“You’ll loose the attitude when this fossil will make you see the stars, sweetheart”

“And I think that you’ll see the stars when I’ll kick you in the balls”

Johnny laughed and flipped her off, while finally taking off.

V always thought that she was a shitty driver, but after getting a ride from Johnny? She’ve changed her mind.

“Johnny! I gotta say, you almost killing me once was enough!” V yelled as the mad man beside her, almost got hit by another car, missing it only by inches as SAMURAI was blasting inside the car.

He grinned at her “Relax, sweetheart. It just makes you feel more alive”

“The pain in my stomach is enough proof of the fact that I am indeed alive, Johnny!” V stressed, her eyes darting around.

Johnny only laughed and continued on driving, towards Kerry’s villa where both of them were living.

As soon as the car stoped V was out. Her head spinning and hands shaking from the adrenaline rush.

“Don’t be so dramatic, sweetheart! I got us here safe and sound” Johnny said with a smile, the whole situation amusing him.

She raised her hand, signaling him to stop for a moment. Her heart was slamming against her chest.

“I’m never letting you drive again...” she said.

Johnny shrugged and grinned at her. He walked over to her and gave her a kiss, while taking her hand and leading her inside the villa.

As they entered Johnny’s distaste was clear as he said to her “We need to talk about getting a place. I won’t be living here for the rest of my life”

V looked up at him in slight surprise “You wanna live with me?”

He frowned and stopped waking, looking down at her “Of course, I do. Just not here, I’m kinda sad that you got rid of your apartment”

“Yeah well... I didn’t exactly have money to keep it. I wasn’t working at all after Mikoshi and then most of my money went to your treatment. About that. I’m still waiting for your arm, Vik and I ordered something similar to this one. I wanted to ask for your opinion but... you weren’t exactly interested so I just went with my instinct”

Johnny was speechless, he stared at her with a slight frown. After a moment he asked.

“Why weren’t you working? I thought that I told you to live your life, V”

V looked away and said “I didn’t work because I was looking for your body. And then when you were in coma... I just forgot that I needed to work... I just wanted to stay and be there when you wake up”

“Fuck sweetheart. I’m so sorry” he whispered and brought her into his arms.

“It’s okay. You didn’t remember and found yourself with a chick who followed you like a lost puppy...”

“No, V. It wasn’t okay. We both know that I’m a huge dick. But the way I treaded you was far from being a dick. It was a whole other level of that. I’m so sorry”

V nodded, knowing that what he said was true and she still felt hurt by the way she was treated. She needs some time before forgiving him.

“Johnny... I just need some time okay? I love you. I do. But I need to see that it won’t happen again okay?”

The rocker boy nodded and took her hands in his, squeezing gently “Take all the time in the world. I’ll be right here. I won’t be living you, this time”

She smiled and nodded, her heart feeling a bit lighter with the knowledge that he wasn’t living her.

“Okay... let’s go find Kerry hmm? I’m sure he’s waiting for us” V said and started leading, Johnny further into the house.

It was late evening as V found herself sitting on the roof, holding on to the dog tags that Johnny gave her.

The last two days were everything she wanted ever since she recovered Johnny’s body. She felt at peace now that he remembered and was himself.

Yet there was slight doubt clawing at her.

“Hey, sweetheart. Couldn’t sleep?”

V turned around to see Johnny getting on the roof and soon heading towards her.

“Yeah, you could say that” she said with a small smile, watching as he sat down next to her.

His hair was messy, his torso covered by a simple black tank top while his bottom was covered by black and red sweatpants.

The very domestic sight, made her heart clench in her chest.

“What’s bugging you? And don’t say nothing, cause I know that there’s something. We shared a brain, V. I know you” he said, staring into her violet eyes.

V sighed and brought her knees to her chest saying.

“I’m worried...”

“About Arasaka? Cause I’m not letting them touch you. Let them fucking come” he said with anger.

She smiled a bit. No matter what, Johnny would always connect every problem to Arasaka.

“No Johnny. I don’t give a fuck about Arasaka. If Hanako has any braincells left, then she knows not to fuck with me. With us”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“What do you want to do next, Johnny? Arasaka is basically destroyed. SAMURAI is disbanded. Rogue isn’t interested in you. Kerry wants to do stuff on his own. Alt is... no longer Alt. So what do you want to do next?” she asked the question that was on her mind all this time.

Johnny was for a moment silent as he stared at her with a frown.

“V... I want you” he said with such honesty that V nearly gasped in shock. Johnny was still frowning as his flesh hand was gently touching her tattooed shoulder and arm “All I want is you. Us. I don’t care about anything else. I’ll do whatever you want. We can leave with Panam. We can stay and work with Rogue or other fixers in the city. We can do another revolution with Judy in clouds. We can do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care about SAMURAI or Arasaka. I just want to be with you”

V was bitting her quivering lip as she whispered “Really?”

Johnny smiled and touched her neck, bringing her closer to kiss her.

The kiss was gentle and sweet, nothing like Johnny have ever wanted a kiss to be like. But with V. It was the best thing that he ever experienced.

V pulled away and touched his bearded cheeks “I want you Johnny. There’s nothing else that matters more to me. We’ll figure out what we want together”

Johnny nodded “We’ll do that later. For now I want your lips on mine and your body in my bed”

V smiled as her cheeks were dusted with a slight blush “Johnny as much as I love the idea, my wound—“

“I meant sleeping, sweetheart. I just want you close to me. My impressive cock isn’t going anywhere” he said with a smirk.

She laughed at this and shook her head, “Of course it isn’t. Alright, let’s go to my room then. The bed is comfier there”

Hours later V woke up with her head snuggled into a warm shoulder and surrounded by the so familiar and masculine smell. She smiled and brought her head against his neck, making him laugh.

“You’re like a cat” he said as his arm was caressing her waist, just where her t-shirt rolled up.

“You love it...” she mumbled, snuggling closer to him.

His grip on her tightened and he moved his head to kiss her lavender smelling hair “I love you” he whispered as if telling a secret.

V pulled away a bit and looked into his dark eyes “I love you too”

They got closer to kiss each other, when they heard a loud meow and something jumped right on top of Johnny’s chest, purring loudly.

V stared at the cat that was now snuggling into Johnny’s tank top and giggled. She turned to Johnny saying.

“Someone was feeling left out”

Johnny rolled his eyes but started petting the cat with his cybernetic hand.

“I’ve never thought that I would be petting this ugly thing” he whispered “Or holding you, while doing it”

V laid back down in his shoulder and moved her hand to touch his, as he petted the cat.

“Well. Get used to it...” she said with a smile.

“I was just planning to” he said, also smiling.

•there will be part five as I said above so follow me or just check the tag “Johnny Silverhand x V”

•also English isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•thank you all for reading this and the last parts. I hope that you liked V and Johnny’s interactions!!

Tag list (if you wanna be tagged leave a comment): @dartheldur @signwriting @missweatherwax @commanding-officer @lovinghunty @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @sillysallysings @iamshisan

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from DeSmog Blog:

As nations gear up for a critical year for climate negotiations, it’s become increasingly clear that success may hinge on one question: How soon will China end its reliance on coal and its financing of overseas coal-fired power plants?

China represents more than a quarter of all global carbon emissions, and it has spent tens of billions of dollars to build coal power facilities in 152 countries over the past decade through its Belt and Road Initiative. Roughly 70% of the coal plants built globally now rely on Chinese funding.

That’s a problem for the climate. The International Energy Agency warns in a new analysis that if the world hopes to reach net zero emissions by 2050, widely seen as necessary to meet the Paris climate agreement goals, there should be no investment in new fossil fuel supply projects or in new coal-fired power plants that don’t capture their carbon emissions. Shortly after that report came out, the G7 group of leading industrialized democracies called for an end to international financing of unabated coal projects on May 21, 2021.

U.S. presidential special climate envoy John Kerry was asked pointedly about China’s progress on climate change when he testified before the House Foreign Affairs Committee in mid-May.

Chinese President Xi Jinping had called climate change a “crisis” during a world leaders’ summit on climate change a few weeks earlier, but Kerry said talks between the two countries grew “very heated” over China’s continued insistence on financing coal-fired power plants around the world.

While he stopped short of saying it explicitly, Kerry made the U.S. position clear: China’s climate pledges won’t be credible or legitimate until it stops overseas coal financing. “We’ve got five more months left to get them to embrace something we hope you will view as legitimate,” he said. “We’re not there yet.”

China and the United States together represent 43% of global carbon dioxide emissions. They worked together to make the Paris Agreement happen. They will have to push each other to make it a success.

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 8

[ i wrote like a madman <//3 sorry besties ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

Garrett hated when his phone ringing woke him up.

He struggled to find it for a moment, before finally slapping his hand onto it. He picked it up off the nightstand, vaguely aware that there were arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Whitlock’s chop shop-” he paused, instinctively launching into one of his fucked up openers as soon as he answered the call. “Sorry. Who is this?”

“Who is this?” an unfamiliar voice replied, and Garrett became significantly more alert, wondering what the fuck was happening. “Why do you have Detective Hoffman’s phone?”

Oh shit. That wasn’t his phone.

“Shit, give me a second,” Garrett said, moving the phone away from him as he turned around in Mark’s arms. “Mark,” he whispered, gently shaking the detective. “Someone’s trying to talk to you.”

Mark groaned in response, but took the phone after a second, pressing it to his ear while still laying down. “Hoffman,” he greeted, his voice gruff and sleepy.

Garrett immediately laid back down and cuddled up to Mark again as soon as he was no longer required to be social, tracing a finger over the detective’s chest as he spoke to whoever it was on the phone, presumably a coworker.

That got him a soft hum from Mark, who moved to wrap an arm around Garrett again. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll be there in 10. Keep an eye on Matthews.” He hung up after that, letting his arm drop back to the bed.

“Job stuff?” Garrett asked as he looked at Mark, smiling when he looked back down at him before nodding. “Man. Sucks to suck, I guess,” he teased, pressing a kiss to one of the newer marks he’d left.

“Yeah, yeah,” was Mark’s reply, pausing for a second to kiss Garrett on the head before he was getting up to get dressed.

Garrett stayed on the bed, simply watching as Mark got his clothes from last night back on. He’s legally obligated to admire his handiwork when he made partners bleed, and BOY did he make Mark bleed.

Mark came around the bed and gave Garrett one last kiss before heading out. Garrett didn’t move until he heard the front door close, followed almost immediately by his alarm. He sighed, wondering if he could just call out of work today.

….. Yeah, he had someone to kill anyway.

---

Garrett honestly loved the Angel Trap. And he told Amanda as much, because sometimes she needed the ego boost.

Kerry was laying unconscious on the ground in front of the trap and behind Garrett, who was admiring the hanging trap. The idea of someone having their ribs ripped out all at once… he loved it.

He pat down his pockets before moving Kerry into the trap, ensuring he had the key that Amanda had given him. Once he was sure he did, he picked the detective up and hoisted her up, holding her up with his shoulder as he strapped her in.

The leather straps were first secured around the top part of her chest and under around her shoulders. Once they were latched on, he didn’t have to hold her up anymore, leaving her dangling.

Next there were the straps around her waist, and then he had to stick each pin into her ribs. The sedative they used was very powerful, so he didn’t worry too much about her waking up despite the pain. He still wore his pig mask, just in case she did.

Slowly but surely, he got each and every pin into each and every rib, right where they were supposed to be.

Kerry was starting to stir. He looked up at the sound of her groaning, hissing under his breath. He scrambled to get the key out of his pocket, dropping it into the beaker of acid hanging in front of her as soon as it was in his hands.

He had to dart out after that, because her eyes were opening and she couldn’t see him. He hid behind one of the pillars in the room, watching silently as she woke up and began to struggle when she realized where she was.

Once he was sure she was completely awake, he played the tape with her message.

“Hello, Kerry. I want to play a game. Up until now, you have spent your life among the dead, piecing together their final moments. You're good at this because you, like them, are also dead. Dead... on the inside,” the tape started, echoing through the room. Kerry had stopped struggling, pausing to listen.

“You identify more with a cold corpse than you do with a living human. I believe you want to join your true family, indeed your only family, in death. The device you are wearing is hooked into your ribcage, and by the time this tape is finished, you will have one minute to find a way out. At the end of that minute... you should know better than anyone what happens then.”

Damn, where did that come from? Garrett didn’t know much about Kerry, but he knew she wasn’t that “dead inside”. At that point it just sounded like an excuse to put her in the trap.

“There is a simple key that will unlock the harness, Kerry. It is right in front of you. All you have to do is reach in and take it. But do it quickly. The acid will dissolve the key in a matter of seconds... Make your choice.”

The tape clicked off at that, and Garrett slipped the recorder back into his bag at the tick of the timer starting. Kerry was struggling again, fighting with the padlock. It took her all of three seconds before she realized the only way out was in the acid.

To her credit, she stuck her hand right in.

She cried out as the acid hit her skin, and Garrett stopped watching. He hated acid, and her screams were more than enough to tell him what was happening.

And then it calmed down, and he looked back. She had gotten the key and was struggling to put it in the lock. She finally did and…

Nothing happened. The lock didn’t move.

Amanda had given Garrett the wrong damn key.

“Shit-!” he yelled, running out to do something to stop the trap, even if he didn’t have the key. He was, however, too late.

The trap activated and the wings spread out, ripping Kerry’s ribs from her torso in a matter of seconds. Garrett just watched, staring at her exposed organs. He slowly pulled the mask off, tossing it to the ground.

“Shit…” he repeated softly to himself, unbothered by the smell of blood but unable to look at Kerry’s face.

Some part of him knew it wasn’t his fault- Amanda had rigged the trap to be inescapable, and didn’t tell him- but he still felt awful for not being fast enough. He should have checked before he put her in there. He thought it was going to be fair.

He’d known Amanda for so long now, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to trust her the same after this, especially not with traps. Either she could put together her own damn traps, or she could make them fair.

Finally, he grabbed his mask and stepped away from the body. He quickly shoved everything of his into his bag, taking one last glance at the dead detective before leaving her for her former coworkers to find.

---

Instead of going home to his apartment, Garrett went straight to the meat packing plant they used as a base. He tossed his bag on the closest chair once inside, heading straight for the room Lawrence stayed in.

“Hey, long time no see,” he said as he opened up the door, grinning when Lawrence looked up at him with a smile.

“I was wondering where you ran off to,” Lawrence replied, even though he knew that Garrett worked during the week. He gestured for Garrett to come into the room, and he did so without hesitation. “How’s work going?”

Garrett groaned loudly at the mention of work, sitting down next to Lawrence on the bed and falling back into the mattress. “I can’t wait to finish the game for my coworkers. This is what they get for being such gossipy bitches.”

Lawrence chuckled softly at his ire, readjusting himself for a second before laying back with Garrett. “Hopefully I’ll get to see it. I’m sorry I missed your first trap. It was an iron maiden, wasn’t it?

“Yeah,” Garrett confirmed. “I wish you could have seen it too, but there’s always the next one, right?”

“Right.” He could see Lawrence smile at the idea, which made him realize that that would be a pretty fucked up date.

Oh yeah. Dates. “How do you feel about polyamory?” Garrett blurted out, immediately mortified with his own bluntness. He felt worse the longer Lawrence was quiet, especially when he remembered that the doctor literally cheated on his wife.

“I suppose it would depend on the other person,” Lawrence finally answered, turning his head to look at Garrett. “Unless you don’t feel like I have to date both of you.”

“You wouldn’t have to,” Garrett assured, relaxing now that he’d gotten an answer. “You totally could if you wanted to, and you won’t have to worry about secrets because he’s an apprentice like me, but you definitely don’t have to.”

Lawrence hummed at that, looking back up at the ceiling. “I’d be willing to try it with you. As long as he’s willing too.”

“I hope he is,” Garrett muttered to himself, and they slipped back into a far more comfortable silence, just happy to be next to each other, even though it had only been a few days since they’d last seen each other.

Garrett could have stayed there forever, but he could hear Amanda and John coming through the door, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before Kerry was found.

He sat up and leaned down to give Lawrence a little kiss before standing up and heading out of the room to see the others.

On the way there, he decided not to confront Amanda, just because he didn’t want to embarrass her in front of John.

In fact, he wasn’t going to bring up the Angel Trap at all, except to say that Kerry failed.

And then his phone rang.

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Ya know thinking about it, maybe there’s nothing more to Syds weird amount of trust for Farouk than gullibleness and pride.

There seemed to be a pattern of her not really internalizing the severity of Farouks crimes, she mostly just thought of him as an “asshole” throughout all the seasons and not someone doing deep long lasting damage to the people around her.

In chap 11 when they find the music box David ask what it is she says, “Nothing just your asshole parasite messing with my head.”

As if its Davids fault Farouks evil, or as if Farouks only a David problem, and not ya know, an extremely powerful supervillain bent on world domination.

I’m trying to figure out what Syds perception of Farouk was, so lets look at their major interactions.

1. Discovers his existence, chap 5. She was wondering what the problem in her and Davids relationship was and now she has someone to blame. I’ll point out, it’s likely she was only thinking of Farouk as an obstacle in the way of her and Davids relationship, and not as a horrifying abuser who’s had a chokehold on David for his entire life. Now the “mission” is clear, snip Farouk outta Davids head, everything’ll be perfect.

2. David and Amys childhood home, also chap 5. Farouk jump-scares them a few times. And I think as far as Syds concerned, that’s a cheap trick. She sheds a tear but then puts on a brave face and keeps moving. Just a horror show after all. None of it “real”. But then Lenny actually jumps out and attacks her, telepathically ties her up then starts grotesquely kissing David while he’s unconscious. And the way she talks, I think Syd internalizes Lenny as being like... a jealous ex. The kissing, the “you stole my man” type language. Man, this relationship obstacle just won’t get out the way. And then...

3. Mental Clockworks, chap 5-7. In the white room Farouk reveals his true form and chases Syd down which scares the shit outta her. But, important note, he doesn’t actually touch her before the delusion is put in place. It’s still very much not real.

Anyways, what’s a horrifying display of control and power for everyone else worked a bit differently for Syd. She was the only one who noticed anything was off. And she couldn’t place it for a while, which worried her, and she eventually gets incapacitated by Lenny. But then, she’s woken up by Cary who takes her into a phone booth and tries to update her on what’s happening, only she’s already figured it out. I’ll point this out as a moment of overconfidence, she’s visibly proud that she was able to see through the illusion. She’s not like the others, she’s a hero archetype. And being that means when Cary hands her the glasses and tells her to go save the others she’s super confident in her ability to do so. She’s the hero after all. And when she does put on the glasses she remarks, “She thought it’d be more interesting.” She’s actively downplaying this nightmare. I don’t hold it against her but my point in saying all this is that it comes back later. This is another instance of her thinking Farouk’s “Not that big a deal.” Underestimating his abilities. I mean, she saw through it after all, she could probably do it again if she needed too... right?

To summarize 3, Syd sees herself as the hero who saw through Farouks cheap illusion. She feels stronger than Farouk here, like he couldn’t hurt her (really hurt her I mean) even if he tried. And in that, she can’t relate to the others who treat it like a big deal or like a traumatizing moment in their adventure. It was just a standard hero vs villain fight to her. Really hope the points getting across cause this’ll come up later.

4. White room, chap 8. Another interaction with Lenny only this time she’s on the ropes, looking a lot worse for ware. Syds not scared of her anymore, or so she tells herself at least. She saw through Farouks tricks. She can do it again if she has too. Nothings gonna get in the way of her and Davids happily ever after. Except Lenny has a good point... she’s still inside David. Still attached to his mind. She could explode his brain if they try to rip her out forcefully. And David can’t handle himself against Farouk, Syd knows this. Cause Davids never won against Farouk up to this point. Getting out of Mental Clockworks was a team effort from her, Melanie, Cary, and Oliver. If it hadn’t been for the crown they wouldn’t’ve gotten out of their. Syds role in this was to keep Kerry and Rudy safe until Cary could complete his end of the plan. And she did. But David was helpless in that, as far she knows. So she, the hero, needs to do something. Just sitting around isn’t good enough. So... she switches with David again. Using a true loves kiss too, a truly fairy tale worthy action, one for the books.

She’s fully possessed now, completely outta control of her own body, but Farouk only used her to get Kerry. It’s a very short moment for Syd, she might not even remember it. When she wakes up she says, “Did we win?” She honestly might’ve just blacked out after the kiss. Because they’re not telepaths their minds are probably much easier to push to the side than Davids. She might not’ve really... experienced the possession is what I’m getting at. And she’s once again most concerned with David.

D: “You should not have done that, as much as I like kissing you.”

S: “It would’ve killed you.” She says that last line not in a concerned way, but in a playful-ish way. As if to say “Obviously I saved you. I’d destroy the world myself if it meant saving you.”

Ya know what, I’ll point out here also that David once again failed to beat Farouk. Syd managed to get Farouk out of his mind but David still couldn’t stop him in the real world.

5. Plaque, chap 9. As explained in show, Syds been part of the team hunting down Farouk and trying to stop him from finding his body. Before chap 12 she and everyone else is under the impression that Farouk is the source of the “maze virus”. A psychological plaque that freezes everyone in their tracks and causes them to chatter their teeth. Disturbing, but... just based on other stuff we know about the character... she probably doesn’t care that much. Her main focus is probably still David. And when David comes back, she immediately blames him for disappearing. Her context here being that he was found in the club they followed Farouk to, next to a bunch of teeth chatterers mumbling, “Help them. Their in the maze.” Clearly, he’s been somewhat involved with the events of the past year, so why hasn’t he contacted her? Why hasn’t he included her in it? Why’d he abandon her? He says he doesn’t remember anything? Ptonomy says otherwise. Clearly he remembers something. He’s keeping secrets. She gets why from the others, but why from her? They’re supposed to be a team. And he abandoned her, to go clubbing with Farouk or whatever it is that he was doing their.

6. Music box, chap 10. Davids back. Maybe she can just pretend things are normal. He leads them to the middle of nowhere and they find her old music box. Farouk. That asshole. His little jump scares and memory tricks won’t get to her. He can’t hurt her, remember? This is all he can do. Illusions, trick. And she’ll see right through them every time. Besides, was reminding her of her childhood really the best he can do? Yeah she’s got a childhood, so does everyone. She’s over it already. (I’m starting to type more and more in Syds perspective.)

6.5 Syd the illusion breaker gets caught in the maze, chap 12. Only... she’s out of it before David even enters her mind to save her. She sees that he’s there, doesn’t know why, but decides to use this as an opportunity to teach him a lesson. We all know the lesson though. The headline in this particular case is, “David never saved Syd from her maze.” He never even saw it. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about when she mentions it. He entered her mind but she’s the one in full control. Scary good control even, props to her. The lesson she’s trying to teach him is sort of... her own thought process on heroism. “Love can’t save us, it’s what we have to save.” Up to this point “love” is all Syds been fighting for. It’s been the driving force behind her heroism. She’s done some messed up things in her past, sure, but all her problems only made her stronger. They made her the “truth seer” she is today. They led her to David, the best thing that’s ever happened to her. No villain can hurt her more than she’s hurt herself. This all... obviously doesn’t translate perfectly to David. That’s just... not been his experience.

(Skippable David Tangent) Farouk hurt David the most that any one person could. And David couldn’t hurt himself more even if he tried. And all Davids pain hasn’t made him mentally stronger, less gullible, or less sensitive. The opposite in fact. Davids minds been split, unbeknownst to Syd. He’s in a constant state of confusion. He keeps getting tugged around by friends and enemies and doesn’t know what to do about it. Davids pain hasn’t shielded him at all, just caused him more strife. He’s even still being manipulated by his abuser. The survivor story just doesn’t work on him, at the moment at least. As far as Davids concerned his “strength” comes from his powers, and he didn’t get a choice in those either. Syd doesn’t see any of this, she’s not a telepath. She hopes her story will help him but... it really only applies to her. Back into her perspective though,

7. Lenny’s back, chap 15. I know this isn’t a Farouk interaction but it is sorta important. Davids not listening to her. She’s trying to remind him of the mission, trying to keep him focused, but clearly it’s not working. Losing his sister really affected him. She understands sure, but he won’t even talk to her about it. Love is what’s supposed to be used to help each other through these dark times, to make sure people don’t feel alone. But he’s isolating himself from her. He isn’t “saving love” he’s pushing it away. That’s not what heroes are supposed to do. Farouk is once again in the way of their love. She can’t blame David, and she knows it’s not her fault, so Farouk.

But the headline there is she’s downplaying his sisters death. As if it’s just another trick to mess with him, an obstacle to be hurdled over. Like the music box thing. But... his sister died. In fact... Lenny was more immediately comforting to him about it than either of the Syds were.

Syd still isn’t internalizing the pain Farouks causing to others. All she’s internalized is her own wins against him and the fact that he’s never permanently damaged her specifically. Or so she says. He’s still just a ghost in a haunted house.

8. Lenny talk, chap 16. Syd comes over to gloat. She sees through Farouks trick. Lenny’s not gonna frazzle her, or David. She’s just another obstacle to their happiness. Only Lenny drops a hard truth on her. And Syd doesn’t seem to want to hear it. She’s stunned at. Tbh... I think she walks away deciding not to believe her. It must be another trick. She just said that to mess with her (again, Syds thoughts). She really really wants to continue thinking of Farouk as “just some asshole” who they need to work with and/or defeat so her and David can finally have their happy ever after. At this point, if she actually started thinking of Farouk as dangerous to her, as a major threat, it’d feel like giving him power. The power of fear, over her. She refuses to be afraid of Farouk, cause she knows that’s how he tricks people. That’s how he controls them. So she doesn’t listen to Lenny. She resolves to continue downplaying Farouks crimes. A dog barking in peoples ears.

9. The cave, chap 18. In between this and the last one David left her again. He really doesn’t get what “saving love” means. But she dedicates herself to him again. If he won’t save love, she will. She’s a hero after all. She’s beaten Farouk in the past and she’ll beat him again if she has too. And then... the cave. Incorporating what another fan has said, even if Syd does pic up on Melanie being Farouk, she knows her future self wanted to work with him for some reason. He was the key to saving the world. He may be a house haunting asshole, but if he saves the world, then there’s gotta be something more to him... right? Melanie complains about Oliver some more, she’s over it. But then Melanie starts showing Syd images. Syd doesn’t know how she’s doing that, but some of the images are from very private personal moments. And they’re all centered on David. These must be memories. Both her and Davids. How Melanie is doing this can go on the back-burner for now, what is she trying to tell her with these? That Davids crazy? No, Farouk’s the one who was behind all these things. Davids “her man.” Her one true love. The problem in their relationship has always been Farouk.

But then... there are all those moments after she got Farouk out of his head. Him keeping secrets. Him not confiding in her, or being there for her. Him constantly leaving her behind. That’s not how love’s supposed to work. A psychopath? Well, when you say that... and you show these images on the screen... and you show him torturing Oliver ( a victim) to get to Syd. And enjoying it, almost like he just wanted the excuse to go all out. Like it’s not really about saving Syd. Or love for that matter. Syd maybe admits to herself at this point that Davids fairly unhinged. He’s had a rough childhood though, there were bound to be some sharp edges here and there. He tortures Oliver for a long time though. And it really starts to feel like he just likes doing it, not that he’s doing it cause it’s “necessary”. It doesn’t even work.

And then... Melanie shows her Future Syd. She matches the description David gave her. And there’s David, in those same pajamas he wears. And... he’s kissing FS. He didn’t tell her about that. It’s not cheating cause it’s her future self. But... they talked about this. David was the one to say it might feel weird. Why not tell her? Why keep that a secret. Even if it’s not cheating, it certainly feels like it. It’s a huge betrayal. And he doesn’t have Farouk as an excuse. Davids just... a bad person. She’s starting to piece together the point of all this. “Legion, The World Killer” yada yada.

David hasn’t been loyal to her. He hasn’t saved loved, he’s not going to save love. The path he’s on is dark and selfish. Could he destroy the world? They’ve known he could since season 1. They never thought he’d actually do it. But wait no, you can’t give up on love that easily. He’s a good person. And then Melanie shows it all again. And she shows him kissing Lenny. And she shows FS telling Farouk about David. And Syd can’t help but concede. Davids too far gone. Farouk may be an asshole, but David lied about everything. He lied to Syd. Again, Davids not going to save love, he missed the mark on that. Davids going to end the world.

Very important to point out here, as I’ve tried to build it up, Syds internalized herself as a hero who doesn’t let anything get to her. Farouk can’t hurt her with his illusions and tricks. She’s seen through them before and she’ll do it again. But David betraying her? Keeping secrets? Playing with her heart? That hurts more than anything Farouks done to her. She invested in David. She was on his side no matter what, but he wasn’t on her side. So if FS says Davids evil and has gotta go, than she’ll believe her. He’s gotta go.

All of this hopefully explains my theory on Syds specific moment-to-moment reasoning thoroughly

I also wanna say though, if I’m right this makes Syds moment on the mountain make more sense. All the specific unexplained discrepancies.

She says she knows it was Farouk who showed her all that. Because she doesn’t perceive Farouk as that big of a threat and again, as mostly a house haunter. Those were clearly memories, she doesn’t care that the infos coming from him, and she believes she can tell the difference between an illusion and something real. so Davids gotta answer for that.

She gets a detail wrong, she says “He went to see her, after you quit.” But we all know he saw her before David quit and specifically set him up. Syd doesn’t know David specifically broke their rules after they set them. She thinks he kissed her beforehand and didn’t tell her for whatever reason.

And again, she doesn’t fully understand what everyone around hers been through. Hence, “The son of sam” thing. To her, Farouk maybe evil, but you can see through his tricks if you just try hard enough. Even though he possessed her she didn’t really register it happening. At a certain point the things you do when he’s in your head are on you (says Syd).

Oh, and also majorly, the “Farouk, your enemy” thing. She never really care about him all that much. He was just an obstacle. David was the one who had a weird complex about him.

Tl;dr Syd doesn’t view Farouk as much of a threat. She doesn’t register or internalize the pain he’s causing to the others cause he’s not doing any of it to her. Syds main focus is David and when she realizes what Farouk’s showing her are memories, and that David’s betrayed her and isn’t planning on “saving love”, that hurts her more than anything Farouks done. Thus, she turns.

[uhhhhyandere]

I love, love, love you ❤️ I was hoping I could request where the main character begs for Yandere Light to let her get a doggo bc she’s so lonely since he made her quit a job. Like full on having a full ass fit. I’m talking full blown brat shit. Just how he would react and what she would have to do to convince him if you catch that drift 😏😉

yeah, i know what i said in my last post. whatever. never believe anything that comes out of my stupid mouth i am the single biggest sob in the universe. 

um… i took this in a… direction to say the least. someone has to stop me from riding suck n’ ride smut bc… it always goes like this. 

next light smut there is going to be ass-eating or i swear to god my name isn’t kerry literally all im thinking about is giving him a rimjob. really. this is where we are at folks. 

warnings: smut, face fucking (oops), dick sucking, sex, rough sex. he not happy boi

word count: 3.5k 

All you did was watch dog videos anymore. Of course, you watched them because you literally had little else to do during the day, but you just… happened to be more open about it when Light came through the door. Did it have anything to do with the fact you’ve been thinking about getting a furry friend to keep you company from the silence of an empty house and the dark recesses of your mind?

No, of course not. It had nothing at all to do with it, and it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that if you ask him directly, he would say no before any more words could breach the air. You would have to be creative, because when Light said “no,” there was no more argument, and you wanted this argument.

“A Pug. Wow. Beautiful.”

“Look, it’s a—it’s a Corgi. Oh my—wow. That’s amazing.”

You’d play around with different sizes.

“This Mastiff? This gentle giant? Can do nothing wrong.”

“This Bichon matches with the snow!”

And you’d talk about listings you just happened to see online from the local shelters.

“This one—wow. All of her shots. She looks so nice. Oh, and potty trained! What a girl. Damn.”

“He’s sitting down—oh a paw. I see a paw. Can he do the other paw? Oh, yes he can. Also has all his shots. Wonderful.”

Considering the man you lived with, you were pretty positive that he figured out your intentions day one or day two max. It’s been about a week since you’ve been… outgoing in your interest. At this point, it was a game as to who would break first. You bet he was waiting for you to get annoyed with his ignoring of anything you said related to the subject with how blatant he was with shirking you off, forcing you to simply ask.

You weren’t going to make it so easy on him. Though he happened to be the king of hiding his emotions, you knew you had to be getting to him. Light would never admit it, and he would certainly never show it. He wanted to keep that satisfaction as far away from you as possible.

So, you turned up the heat.

Before, you would break off the dog topic after a time, wanting to etch it in your daily schedule only bits at a time. Now? It’s the only thing you talk about, no matter the actual subject at hand.

“There’s another event we have to—.”

“The animal shelter is having an event in the park next week for adoptions.”

“I’m going to have to go for groceries soon.”

“Look at this weenie dog dressed in a weenie costume.”

“I—.”

“Doggo cute.”

It was only a matter of time until—.

“This French Bulldog is—.”

“Y/N.” His voice was clear, demanding. Even after all this time, like a teacher scolding elementary students, it immediately brought you to silence. You sat on your shared bed, legs crossed, as he leered down at you from the bathroom. “I would say it was cute at first, but you know it’s a waste of time to try asking anything indirectly. As if I would succumb to your manipulation, but I let you carry on. You would get bored. You would stop and think and realize that it was pointless to keep it up, but you persisted. I thought to myself maybe you were just trying to see if I would crack and give you the satisfaction of indulging in your antics, and I was right.

“It begs the question. Why didn’t you just ask directly? Easy. Because I would say no, and you would be correct. To allow something else besides me your devotion? Not likely. But what? Did you think showing me videos of Shibu Inus and Pomeranians would make me want one first? You have the logic of a six-year-old, Y/N,” Light began to unbutton his shirt, “Did you honestly think it would work? Or did you simply want to get a rise out of me?” He removed the shirt entirely, then lifted his undershirt over his head just as easily. Light tossed the fabric into the hamper, leaving a pale, lithe abdomen on display. He turned to fully face you and took two easy steps forward. “Why would you want one in the first place? Have I not given my fiancée enough attention recently? Is this your way of getting back at me, hm?”

You were almost at an even height to his belt buckle, but you did your best to ignore that as his eyes demanded attention upwards. His gaze was near malicious, but not quite so. Ah. Lascivious. That’s what they were. You swallowed the knot out of your throat.

“Y-you wish.”

“Your hesitation is very resounding. Then, if you’re so sure, indulge me. Don’t tell me you wanted a distraction from your loving husband-to-be. I know you didn’t want something else to focus on besides me when I’m away at work, so tell me. Tell me why you desired a filthy, shedding ball of fur. Your answer may earn you some mercy.”

You unfolded your legs from underneath you as your foot began to numb under the weight of your leg. Your hands glided back and forth on your thighs. Was there a point in lying? No, scratch that. Was there a point in lying to someone who already knew the truth? Well, his own truth that Light would undoubtedly make yours. There was little purpose in making it worse on yourself.

“No, you’re—uh—right.” Light set his hands on his hips.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m just… lonely when you’re at work. So… yeah.” You risked a peek upwards. Oh, geez the smirk on that fucker. “I’m sorry.” His arms rose from his hips to cross over his chest.

“For?”

“Huh?”

“What are you sorry for? Annoying me for days with your drivel? Wanting a mutt? Lying?” You furrowed your brows. “Oh, that one confused you, hm? Alright, well, if you won’t admit it, I can do it for you. Lonely-“ he scoffed- “You can’t be serious. Such a blatant lie from your lips. The second time you are insulting my intelligence. I’ll ask one more time. Where does your motivation lie?”

“I’m not lying!” You hissed, jumping off the mattress to stand. “What—just what am I supposed to do all day cooped up in this place like a goddamned prisoner? Clean? The place is clean. Cook? As if you’d even let me try. Watch TV? My brain is rotting. You don’t even let me help kids with math anymore online. Just what am I to do? Next thing I may just throw myself out the window—,” Hands gripped your shoulders, causing a slight pain at the intensity.

“You think I’d let you? I expect you to stay here and be good and thankful that you are where you are. I, just as much as you, know—knew women who died to be in your shoes, and you’re ungrateful to be alive and safe? You want more?” You tried to shrug out of his grip, and he allowed you to take the steps away from him.

“I’m asking to be a human being, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to sit here and go crazy. Isn’t it enough that I don’t fuck with the rules anymore? I’m quiet. I don’t say anything. I put every façade you ask me to. All I want is something for me! Something to distract me from literally going insane here! To distract me from everything.”

 Light’s eyes sometimes spoke more truth than his mouth ever could. Right about now, the browns were all-consuming, aflame with ire, but his lips were upturned in a challenge.

“A distraction. Caught in a lie, Y/N. Bad form, even for you. After all this time, you still can’t face reality, dearest. I knew you’ve been pitting your mind in some gutter you call the truth. Makes this all easier to accept, but to go to the physical extent? I won’t allow it, and you won’t be able to recess your mind for long, so enjoy that pleasure while you can.” He paused, countenance recessing to something more composed. “You love me, don’t you, Y/N?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, no lie in that affirmation. It was the easiest of his questions to answer. “I love you.” Light inhaled deeply, chest flexing with the exhale.

“With love comes compromise, correct?” You responded with a glare. His tone was all too insinuating. “So, let’s compromise, yes? I hate arguing with you.” He reached an arm out, hand open. Your eyes glanced between the extended limb and his eyes before cautiously taking it. His hand squeezed and pulled you in tight. Light twisted and adjusted you so when he fell onto the bed, you landed comfortably on his lap. Releasing your hand, he brought his own up to gingerly glide his fingers across your cheek, a trail of bumps in its wake as it curled into your locks. Almost like a lover. Almost.

His fingers seized the strands and pulled, forcing your head back and opening your neck for his mouth to latch. “Then compromise, dearest. Prove to me what you think you deserve.” He spoke against your skin, open-mouth kisses with a hint of teeth between his words. “And I’ll make judgement.” His hand let go of your hair and traced to the back of your skull to slant your lips onto his impatient ones. The other wrapped itself to pull your body closer until he pushed you off with an unexpected force, almost knocking you to the ground.

From the unbalanced position, you watched him adjust his position to lie in the center of the bed, head angled to watch you from the pillows with both his hands as another cushion for his crown. Light smirked, watching you stand straight. “Well, go on. Compromise.” 

Light was never on the bottom. It was non-negotiable. Being anything else was utterly unacceptable for a god. This situation, despite the physical placement of both bodies, was no different. You may be the one crawling on top of him, fiddling with his belt buckle, but he had every bit of this situation in his control. Under his watchful gaze, you removed the strip of leather and threw it across the room.

“You’re going to have to help me here,” you muttered after undoing the fly. Wordlessly, he obliged, allowing you to slip the trousers off of his person. You glanced at his feet. Thank god he took his shoes off already, so he only lied in his boxers.

No, you would never be accustomed to this.

“You always look like it’s your first time,” he remarked. “As if you haven’t seen my cock before. From my recollection, you should be quite familiar with it by now.” You inhaled sharply. “Unless you don’t want to compro—.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, crawling to straddle his legs. “Just be quiet,” you said more quietly. You reached out to rub the only half-erect cock through the fabric. Only small groans were elicited above you. Light was not a noisy one, to say the least. It took your first, painful, terrible experience of deep-throating to even get him to moan fully.

“Do you think teasing is going to get you anywhere?” His voice is always composed during sex, and it really was alarming because… you really couldn’t relate. You glowered, fingers digging under the waistband and pulling. He helped again, lifting so you can get the fabric off. “If you think you’re doing anything fully clothed, I should take a cold shower.”

You made quick work of taking the layers of comfort clothes you had on, off. “You really know how to put on a show,” he deadpanned.

“Shut. Up.” You returned to your position, seeing his cock now fully erect from your previous work. You were sure you were wet, but you ignored it as best you could. You had a feeling you would not be serviced tonight. Before you can even lean down, he spoke again.

“Beg for it. Beg for the honor of sucking my cock. Convince me you deserve it if you believe you are so entitled.” There was not a single physical restriction to keep you from taking it into your mouth, but his words were powerful enough to keep you still. Light was daring you to try and misbehave, and you really couldn’t help the physical reaction his words always do to you.

“Please—,”

“Pathetic. I can have any girl in my bed. I can stick my cock in any person interested, and here you are, an ungrateful brat who wants more. You’re making quite an unremarkable argument for yourself. Perhaps I will take away—.”

“Please, Light. Allow me the honor of sucking your cock, of you fucking my throat. I want the privilege of swallowing your seed. Fuck—please. I’ll do anything.” You leaned down close, but not touching anything. You only lifted your eyes up to his. “Please. I know I’ve been bad. Please, let me make up for it.”

Your words in bed were always forced. He knew you hated dirty talk as much as you did, therefore he always made you speak, always made you confess how much you craved him, wanted him, and whenever you spoke it was hardly ever in lies. Your embarrassment was too prominent in your body language to tell him otherwise.

“Go on, then. Show me.” You licked up his length first, then around the head and back down. “Teasing will get you nowhere,” he repeated. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and took him in, inch by inch. Light was incredibly average despite his ego. It wasn’t impossible to fit the entire length into your mouth with slow adjustment, but that didn’t mean it was fun. You would continue to work his length, getting more and less intense with your pressure and the speed your head bobbed. Still, there was little reaction from him, not there really never was any mind the grunts you could make out. Your inclinations to keep going, and you did until you pulled back.

“How’s—,” His hand was at the back of your head immediately, forcing your head back down, pushing his cock down your throat, pushing until you could feel his balls against your chin. No hair. He was pristine down there. You convulsed, gagged, choked, but he did not release his grip. Hand keeping its hold, he dragged your head up just a hair enough to thrust upwards. Water began to pool at the waterline of your eyes. You had to relax your throat, or this was going to be just worse.

But it was hard, so hard at the pace he was thrusting at. You squeezed your eyes shut and took it the best you can. Listening to his quiet grunts and groans, you forced your lips to continue covering your teeth, but you could not force your throat to loosen. Drool pooled at both sides of your mouth, carelessly falling into both him and the sheets along with the liquid of your tears. 

“Your throat is so fucking tight. That’s it. Choke on my cock. This is what your dirty mouth deserves.” Your limited experience could be to blame for its restricting. That, or the selfishness of the man whose grip on your hair tightened even more right before he allowed you to breathe once more.

And breath you did. Gasping, reeling for air as drool continued to leak down. From beneath your hair, you looked at Light, his eyes wild and alive with lust. Small heaves from his smiling mouth mixed with your wet and heavy ones. “Do you think you deserved that, dearest?” You finally wiped your mouth and shook the spit from your arm. “You’re lucky I am so generous. Come. For doing such a decent job.” His hands patted his hips. Swollen eyes met his. “Ride me, before I change my mind and fuck you into the mattress.”

Regaining some semblance of control, you moved to straddle his length. “Oh, your pussy is glistening. Did me fucking your throat really do that much to you? You loved to be controlled, don’t you?” You did not answer, shaky hands guiding his cock so you can sink onto it. You groaned at the feeling. “Tell me how good it makes you feel. How only I can make you feel like this.” You bit your lip, sinking down another inch or so.

“God, Light. Your cock feels so good. Only yours can make me feel like this. No one—no man, no woman, no person—can make me feel anything—like—this—fuck!” You sunk down to the hilt before you lifted yourself again, easing yourself up and down his length. “It’s so good—so good.” Light allowed you more time but decided your gentle pace was not enough to soothe him. He roughly grabbed you and flipped your positions.

“Too slow, Y/N. What did I say about teasing?” He brought his hips back and then snapped them into yours. You screamed, and you wondered if the neighbors would call again, but his pace did not relent.

“Light—please. It’s too—too much! It’s too fast. I can’t…” He smiled, a wicked grin over you.

“And you won’t. Don’t you dare think about cumming. I decided you don’t deserve it. This is your compromise. You get to live, marry, and get fucked by me, and only by me, and I will only have eyes for you. You’ll never feel like you need a… distraction again.” You clenched your teeth and pushed your head farther into the pillows. “I feel you clenching onto me. Don’t you dare think about disobeying me.” His thrusts were even, balanced.

“Please, please, please let me cum. It feels too good. You feel too good. I’ll do anything.”

“Then don’t cum.” You threw your hands back and gripped the headboard, feeling it rock in rhythm to his thrusts. They were beginning to become, sloppy, wild, he was close while you were holding back for dear life. “Y/N. You are mine and mine alone. Your body. Your actions. Your mind. I am the only thing you are allowed to think about.” With one final push, his seed released, filling and coating your insides. He rode it out, making sure every drop stayed. He hated to have to wash the sheets after, though your drool stains remained.

Pulling out, he retreated and stood, ignoring your writing, unfulfilled form. “Come. You aren’t going to sleep like—get those hands away from there. Let’s get you clean before you ruin the sheets even more.” Like before, he extended his hand to your heaving form. “Alright, alright, I’ll take care of you, but you need to get cleaned up first.” An unstable hand fit into his own. His gently pulled you to stand and allowed you to lean your weight onto his.

Hot water cascaded down your body. Though Light effortlessly scrubbed washed his hair, you could not bring yourself to match his speed, and by the time he was already done, you hadn’t even washed your body yet. You heard an incomprehensible mutter amidst the running water as he left you alone. He was washing his face as you finally emerged, wrapped in your towel. No romance tonight, you figured. Not that it was any different than any other night. You followed, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and taking your pills while he huddled in bed.

You could only dream of romance anymore. Getting your pajamas on, you approached the empty side of the bed. Before you could get on, Light shifted, opening his arms and staring at you expectantly. You froze. Did… did he want…? “Well, come on.” Ah. Was this supposed to be the ‘I’ll take care of you,’ he mentioned earlier? You supposed he would never wash you in the shower, so this would have to be it. You swallowed and fell into them, feeling his arm wrap you close to him so you lied nearly on your stomach, face buried in the crook between his neck and shoulders. His arm lied around your neck, the other near your elbow on the arm that sprawled on his chest. Oh, hello? What is this?

Ah. This is the quote-on-quote, attention he promised as a fiancé. His eyes remained closed as you stared. How forced was this? You wondered if he hated it, if he saw it was succumbing to your wishes, but it was unlikely. Perhaps it was him showing the physical love outside of sex that you lacked thinking it would keep you from having another outburst as you did before. Him keeping his side of the compromise so you would keep yours.

You allowed yourself to close your eyes before you thought too hard about his actions. The more you thought about it, the more—and less—real it all became, but if he was offering more conventional couple things: cuddling, dates, attention, you would not pose another argument.

“So, no dog?” you whispered.

[theoverly]

Her choice

Pairing: Johnny & female V

Rating: T for swearing

Dreams are a reflection of our subconscious, and nightmares are our subconscious way to deal with trauma, as Johnny learnt the hard way early on in his life

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Catch me traumatizing myself with my own headcannon

——————————  

On ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/30339804

Or press “Keep reading”

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”I… I can’t believe it… everythin’. A-all we did… pointless.” V glitches away, leaving Johnny alone at the glitchy diner-booth for a moment before he follows the path of her code, already as familiar to him as her mind. She’s sitting in the vast empty space of the net, knees pulled up towards her chest and arms resting atop them, staring out into nothing with an empty look in her eyes. “I’m sick of this…” she growls just as he materializes, pulling a chair out of cyberspace to straddle, arms resting on the backrest. Even without access to her mind he can feel the rage building up in her. “Of everythin’.” She continues as she glares up at him from under her brows. “You most of all.”

  He ignores what feels like a stab or a glitch in his code, and instead levels her with a stern gaze. “Perfect, ‘cause we’re stickin’ to the plan. You’re goin’ back to your body, and I’m goin’ with Alt.”

  “Where she even gonna take you?” she bites out.

  He glances off to the side, to a beam of bright light that appears to be both extremely far away and dangerously close at the same time. “Beyond the Blackwall, to become part of her-“ he looks back, glancing at the glitchy outline of V’s boots. “Whatever the hell that means.” He finishes, voice trailing of a little at the end.

  “… What’s it like, beyond the Blackwall?” he looks up at the slight tremor in her voice, finding an air of anxiousness about her, making him huff.

  “Assumin’ I don’t loose my fuckin’ mind-least no one’s gonna ride my ass there.” She chuckles, a little, face softening. “Can’t read you mind anymore, V.” he reminds her, wondering what’s so funny.

  “Didn’t seemed to mind having you ass ridden – on occasion.” Her mouth curls into a toothy half grin, her signature look of mischief.

  He blinks at her for a moment before realizing what she’s hinting at. “Dirt girl…” he huffs, shaking his head in amusement. “Gone pokin’ ‘round in my memories for the juicy stuff, huh?”

  She chuckles briefly, shaking her head and looking down at her hands as she begins to wring them together, a display of anxiousness he’s never seen her partake in before. “… you go beyond the Blackwall, you ain’t comin’ back…” she mumbles, voice hoarse. “What about hanging around as a construct?” she glances up at him. “Just… till we find another way?”

  “Know you ain’t that naïve.” Johnny shakes his head, looking away from her. “Findin’ another way means makin’ a deal with ‘saka. I’ll pass.”

  There’s a stretch of silence only interrupted by the hum and buzz of cyberspace, neither of them jumping in to fill the void for a long while until- “I don’t wanna die, Johnny…” V whispers, making him look back at her, finding her eyes staring down into nothing with a hopeless expression. He furrows his brows in concern, wondering what thought are racing through her mind as she tries to come up with a plan for how to tackle her current predicament. “Never thought life was worth clingin’ to. Not at any price, anyway…” Her eyes focus and she looks up and to the side, to the beam of light, eying it in a mournful way that has Johnny’s code buzzing in alarm.

  “’cause it ain’t.” he huffs.

  “Wrong.” She shakes her head a little. “That light beyond the Blackwall-“ she nods her head towards it, inviting him to look at it, though his gaze is pinned on her. “-that’s hope.” He shakes his head as he prepares to jump in and interrupt, but she continues. “Could be the flames of Hell or Heaven’s grace -who cares?”

  Cyberspace buzzes and both constructs look to the side where Alt’s form glitches into being. “We’ve learned to turn into pure data-” She begins, voice soft and booming at the same time, echoing through cyberspace. “-but an animal still prowls inside us, and its instinct to survive almost can’t be extinguished.”

  Johnny narrows his eyes at the AI. “Yeah, that instinct’s part of bein’ human – but so is denyin’ it.” He looks back to the nomad. “V, you’re talkin’ crazy – there’s nothin’ for you beyond the Blackwall.” He stresses sternly.

  “‘least it’s not the big fat nothing I’m goin’ to in six months’ time anyway…” she murmurs before looking away from Alt and pinning him with a stare. “I am going to die, Johnny.” Each syllable of every word of that sentence is thoroughly pronounced, the difference is startling compared to her usual drawl; It’s not a guess or a fear anymore – it’s a statement of fact... Don’t mean he can’t open his mouth to argue- “Save your breath-“ she shakes her head and looks away from him. “-really think I alone could find some way to save my life in the following six month’s when we haven’t already?”

  “You won’t be alone.” He reminds her. “You’ve got some great chooms backing you, V.”

  She ignores him, instead looking up at Alt. “What now?”

  “As I said; You can return to the body, where you will perish within six months. Alternatively, Johnny can retain the body, remain there, whilst you come with me beyond the Blackwall.”

  “Guess it was naïve of me to think there’d be a happier ending for all involved…” she chokes out, voice thick with grief.

  “Wrong city, wrong people…” Johnny agrees mournfully.

  Alt’s body splits into copies, showing up along a path leading towards the beam of light. “This path leads deeper into cyberspace. Take it, and permanently sever the connection to the body to go beyond the Blackwall.” More copies, this time leading in the opposite direction and towards what appears to be a well of some sort. “The path to the body passes through the mortal well. Whichever of you goes through it will retain the body.”

  V’s eyes linger on the well, and Johnny feels a wave of relief washing over him that she’s considering going back. “What I told you at the Pistis Sophia-” the relief drains from him and is replaced by dread as she speaks. “-we stick to that. I’ll go with Alt. You stay in our body.” She rises to her feet slowly, not even sparing him a glance.

  It pisses him off…

  “Turning your back on your problems, again?” he grits out, glitching off the chair when she turns towards the beam, grabbing her arm to stop her and yank her back. “What? Just gonna roll over and decomish? Give up?” he growls at her.

  “It’s my decision, Johnny.” She yanks her arm away from his grip, clutching her hands into tight fists and bracing for a fight. “This bullet is comin’ my way, I just need to make sure it don’t take you down with me.”

  “You’re loyal, I’ll grant you that. But damnit are you dense! Haven’t changed a bit since we met.”

  Her construct shakes, edges glitching as she seems so be winding up, and he fully expects her to start throwing punches. Instead –

  “I’m so damn tired, Johnny…” she breathes, eyes fluttering closed, face scrunching up in despair as she fully deflates. “I just want this all to end…” she sobs, making him deflate too.

  “I know, princess…” His voice comes out soft, the nickname he’s been using to tease her now an honest term of endearment. “But let’s not make any rash decisions, ok?” He grabs her forearm again, just below the Johnny + V tattoo, and softly pulls at her, signaling for her to follow him as he turns around towards the well. He pulls his hand back, but hers shoots out to grab his in a weak grip. Given that it’s his chrome hand and they are both two constructs in cyberspace with no physical form, he really shouldn’t be able to feel the soft warmth of her hand, but he does. He squeezes her hand lightly and holds it as he leads her to the well, sitting her down on the edge before taking a step back from her, her weak grip allowing him to slip his hand free. Her face is an open book now that she’s admitted to her exhaustion and allowed it to set in, looking at him mournfully.

  “I don’t want to die alone again…” she admits quietly.

  “You won’t.” He insists. “Really think Vic’s gonna just sit back for six months and let you die? Fuck – tell Kerry what’s happening, he’ll throw a fortune Rouge’s way so she can-“

  “You know I don’t trust Rogue.” V interrupts coldly, shaking her head weakly.

  “Then go to the Aldecaldos;” he insists, voice rising as he begins to go on a rant. “you know better than anyone that a Nomad clan large as that is bound to know someone who knows someone who can help, and you’ll have six months to dig ‘em out. Or fuck – call Judy. Girl’s smart, maybe she and Vic can figure somethin’ out if they work together for six months? Or maybe that PI of yours can sniff out a lead better than he can a fuckin’ clitoris!”

  V breathes out a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. “River did fine, you’re just mad I made you fuck a cop.” She protests, smiling softly at him for a moment before patting the edge of the well beside her. “Sit with me?” she asks quietly. Johnny’s wound up tight, and he almost snaps at her, but the small hint of a hopeful smile tugging at her lips deflates him, so he ambles his way to sit down next to her, leaning forward to rest his forearms against his legs, glancing up towards the beam of light beyond the Blackwall, where he’ll go after they’ve said their goodbye. “I still want you to have my body…” she admits quietly, and he shakes his head briskly.

  “Stop already.” He snaps. “You’re a fighter, V… It’s as that doll back at Clouds said; You’ve never backed down from anythin’ in your life, so don’t go backin’ down from the fight for your life.” He sits back up a little so he can look at her, her eyes starting to gain some focus, hanging on to every word he says. “You’re stubborn as all hell. You see a wall blocking your path, you’ll either find some way ‘round it or bash that thick head of yours against it until you bring it down.” He reaches out and knocks on her forehead, making her huff out a sound of amusement and swat his hand away softly. “You’ll find a way to cheat death again, and when you do; Gonna take Night City by storm. Ain’t nothin’ gonna stand in your way.”

  She shakes her head a little, a faint smile tugging at her lips as she looks at him with such open adoration it’s startling. “… Goodbye, Johnny.” her voice is hoarse again, filled with unshed tears that he doesn’t deserve.

  “Goodbye, V... And never stop fighting.” He moves to stand up and help her into the well, but before he can she glitches away to stand before him, forcing him to look up at her in alarm. Her face, set in burning determination, is the last thing he sees as he feels her hands on his shoulders pushing hard until he tumbles backwards, over the edge of the well and into a freefall.

 Nightmares are nothing new to Johnny, he’s had them since his gonk ass enlisted as a child soldier and went to fight in Mexico, but it’s been a long time since he’s had a nightmare so vivid it causes a physical reaction.

   ——————————  

  He wakes with a start, throwing the cover off his body – drenched in cold sweat – as he shoots up from the bed and stumbles out of it, catching himself on the floor with a grunt of pain before franticly pulling himself back up and stumbling out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, throwing himself at the toilet as he dry heaves a couple of times before emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl in several drawn out heaves that leaves his entire body trembling. His fingers weakly curls against the cold ceramic as he hurls and hurls until there’s nothing left for his body to expel, and then he dry heaves a couple of more times, tears and snot running down his face once he manages to gulp down large breaths of air, the occasional sob or groan of pain interrupting his efforts to try and catch his breath.

 He wipes his face with his arm, leaving a disgusting mess of tears, snot, and vomit as he slowly rises, looking down at the tattoo on said arm as he drags his feet along the cold floor and to the sink, hands shooting out to grab the edge of it before he looks up at his reflection. Gasping sharply, he pulls his fist back, a primal roar of rage and loss rips from his chest as he punches the mirror, shattering V’s reflection.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 23: Mister Universe (originally published on August 16, 2021)

AN: Welcome back to the Tearjerking Three of Alternate Future Part 3, and for this installment we go from flashbacks about the budding relationship between Lapis & Peridot to flashbacks about the troubled one Greg has with his parents. Once again, get the tissue boxes out because we're in for a roller coaster.

Synopsis: Concerned for Steven's well-being, Greg takes him on a road trip to his childhood home.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Featuring Maurice LaMarche as Thomas DeMayo

Laura Post as Gloria DeMayo

Jemaine Clement as Kerry Moonbeam

And Ron Perlman as ?

--

"Here you go Scthu-ball, dinner is served." Greg declared to Steven at the beach house one day while preparing some ice cream with a slice of pie in it for him to eat. "Ice cream a la pie!"

"Thanks, Dad." Steven laughed as he took the bowl and ate its contents.

"Are you feeling any better?" Greg asked his son. "Looks like your swelling and glowing has been a no-show for the past few days." Just then, Steven stopped as he scooped up a spoonful of the dessert in front of him. "Y'know, that ice cream won't eat itself."

"Sorry Dad, just thinking about stuff." Steven said.

"What kind of stuff?" Greg asked.

"I've spent so long thinking about whether I really am Mom." Steven replied, trying his best to keep certain recent events from spilling. "Now that I know I've always been me, and also saved the universe by stopping Black Rutile, it's like I have no idea what to do or who me is. I wish I still knew what to do with myself."

"Well, I can relate to that." Greg sympathized with his son's plight. "When I was your age, I didn't know who I was or what I wanted to do with my life."

"So, you didn't always want to be a rock star?" Steven asked while processing this new information.

"No way!" Greg declared as he began to reminisce. "I didn't get my hands on a guitar until I was your age! Before I got the van, I had no idea what was out there beyond my old home, until I hit the road."

--

"Mom, Dad, I've got news for you." A younger Greg said to his mother and father long ago.

"Is it anything to do with your dropping out of the local community college?" Greg's father Thomas, who was as bald as his son would eventually become with glasses and a mustache, asked crossly.

"Or that van out by the garage?" Thomas's wife Gloria, a svelte middle-aged woman with brown hair in a bun, added curiously.

"Well, that's the thing, you guys." Greg stated. "I'm moving out. I wanna see the world, go out there and see what I can do along the way!"

"Are you serious Gregory?" Thomas raised an eyebrow. "You may be an independent young man now, but how can you possibly sustain yourself?"

"What do you mean independent?" Greg replied sternly to his father. "I mean, curfews and chaperones and all that, I'm not a little kid anymore! I'm 18 now, I can survive on my own without you breathing down my neck!"

Thomas looked about ready to yell at his son for talking back, but his mask of stoicism remained firmly attached before balling up his hands and letting out a loud deep breath, and putting a hand on Greg's shoulder. "Well, if you think you're independent enough my boy," he said. "then go on. Live your life, go out and see the universe or whatever." Thomas then turned and walked away from Greg. "Just be sure to write every so often."

"Wow, talk about less arguing than usual." Greg tilted his head in confusion when his mother took his hand. "Mom?"

"Your father's been trying to keep his temper from getting the better of him." Gloria stated before she started cupping her son's face. "Please Greg, no matter how strict and controlling we are, just remember that we're still your parents after all."

"Okay then." Greg sighed heavily before he picked up a backpack and headed for the front door. "Bye Mom, I love you."

"I love you too Greggy." Gloria smiled.

"Bye Dad." Greg then bid farewell to his father, but he received no answer. "Huh, of course." He groaned before walking out of his house for the last time and getting into his new van. After taking one last look at his front window, Greg pulled the van out of the driveway and set out for parts unknown. That day, Greg DeMayo left home, but maybe one day he could return as Greg Universe.

--

"You've seen other planets, but what about West Keystone or Charm City?" Greg said to Steven in the present day. "I've spent a lot of my formative years eating rest stop sandwiches and watching the trucks go by."

"So you're saying I just need a change in scenery?" Steven wondered.

"Exactly!" Greg declared and excitedly got up from the couch. "You're never gonna find yourself if you don't start looking! In fact, let's go right now!"

"Wait, really?" Steven asked hurriedly.

"No time, the road is calling!" a starry-eyed Greg announced before the father raced outside. "Can you hear it like I can?!"

"Yeah, I think I do!" Steven called for his dad as he raced after him with the ice cream in hand.

--

And so, the Universe duo left Beach City by van and set out on the open road, singing a familiar song along the way before they reached a Pepe's Burgers in Jersey.

"Dear old dad, remember when you would sing to me? We could do it again." Steven sang the same duet he and Greg shared from back after he had first met Lapis, albeit a bit shakier than previously. "Dear old dad, remember how I would sit on your shoulders? Well, how about now?"

As the trip continued, Greg continued relaying stories of his boyhood to Steven, awkwardness and all. "So that was the story of my first crush." Greg finished a story about the first girl he fell for at the gas station. "Things got really awkward between us as the years went on, but we decided to stay in the friendzone while she went off with that jock Tony. Hmph, cheerleaders, am I right? You met one during your trip with Spinel to Empire City, didn't you?"

"Yeah, Makoto's doing fine." Steven answered while looking at the Vipers' head cheerleader's social media profile before happening upon the selfie they all took together. "Before we left, she offered to introduce Spinel to the rest of the squad should she ever come back someday."

"Lucky girl!" Greg laughed before the two left the service station.

"Dear old dad, I was wondering why. As I got older, the days kept going on by." Steven continued the song. "Dear old dad, remember this too. In this whole wide world, there's no one like you-ooo-ooo-ooh."

"You-ooo-ooo-ooh." Greg began harmonizing with Steven. "You-ooo-ooo-ooh."

--

Eventually, Steven and Greg crossed over into a rather quiet neighborhood in Keystone when Greg pointed to a house nearby. "About two blocks away, that's where I played my first gig." He stated. "I wasn't even Mr. Universe yet back then, I was just a kid sneaking out after dark with a guitar to play."

"So where did the Mr. Universe name come from?" Steven asked quietly.

"You know what, how about I show you?" Greg suggested before he drove the van up to one of the houses they were driving along and got out with a determined look on his face. "Good, no one's home."

"Wait, what? Who's house is that?" Steven asked his dad as he seemingly committed a home invasion. "Dad!"

Greg still didn't listen as he jumped over the white picket fence and climbed up a tree with a branch pointing straight to a window, and Steven continued nervously following behind. When Greg opened the window on the end of the branch, he fell through before getting up and peeping out the other side. "This used to be way easier."

"You're rich Dad, it's not like you to steal." Steven cautioned Greg while continuing to follow him through the window into an empty room, where Greg was now looking through a box. "C'mon, let's get out of here before the owner comes home!"

"Just a sec, I'm looking for something." Greg stated.

"Well, what is it?" Steven asked.

"Oh, you'll see!" Greg replied before his son nervously left the room to explore more of the house, worry still present on his face.

"Is no one really home? Maybe I should write them a note." Steven wondered when he happened upon a picture of a mother, a father, and their curiously familiar son while walking down the stairs. "But what can I say?" he continued muttering as he reached the living room. "We're sorry that we have broken into your home, you must be very nice people with excellent taste."

As Steven sat down on the couch, he clutched a bowl of potpourri and gave it a big sniff. "And who enjoy potpourri." He added wistfully. "It's like a snack for your nose." Steven then got up to look at a collection of spoons and an assortment of glass goats beneath them. "Your fancy foreign spoon collection is very impressive, and so are your tiny glass goats." Soon, he finally walked up to a desk and picked up a pen before opening a drawer, hoping to find some paper. "Well, the pen is as good a start as any."

However, instead of paper, Steven discovered a neat stack of letters inside the drawer that seemed to have been sent by Greg. "Letters from Dad, and they're all unopened." Steven observed before looking at who they were sent to, and he made a startling realization.

Racing back to the stairs, Steven took another look at the photo and instantly recognized the nervous-looking son between his parents. "DAD?!"

--

While Greg continued searching through some boxes for whatever he's looking for, Steven suddenly burst back in with news of his discovery. "Dad, this was your house?!"

"Not exactly." Greg said. "This was my parents' house."

"Then this must be your room!" Steven declared happily. "I thought you said you grew up in a prison, but this place is beautiful!"

"I did kiddo." Greg replied somberly. "You have no idea what years of curfews, chaperones, and meatloaf were like."

"You didn't like meatloaf?" Steven inquired.

"Not every Thursday for twenty years." Greg groaned, sticking out his tongue in disgust. "I can still feel the taste. And did you know how old I was before I finally had my first taco?!"

"I also found these letters in a desk sent by you." Steven brought up the letters he found. "How come they weren't opened?"

"I can think of a few reasons why." Greg answered as he began picturing how his parents felt when he left home.

--

As Greg began leaving home in his new van, Gloria watched the vehicle drive off before sighing and sitting down with a book. Just then, her husband Thomas came back to the living room with a glass of whiskey in hand.

"You think maybe Gregory left because we were too controlling of him?" Thomas asked his wife as he sat down next to her. "He said he wanted to leave home without us "breathing down his neck" as the young people say."

"Possibly." Gloria nodded in affirmation. "The curfews were inevitable, but I believe the chaperones were a little much. But hey, at least I consider us better parents than mine were."

"That's because we never ended up hitting Greg." Thomas said in contemplation. "But still, maybe we were a different form of abusive towards him. Hopefully we can make it up to him someday."

"I'm not too sure." Gloria replied. "I don't even think he wants to think of us again."

Thomas just responded by bowing his head before taking another sip of whiskey.

--

"I'm sure it's fine. Besides, check out all your old things!" Steven said enthusiastically before he began to dig through another box and began taking out many of his dad's old things as he named them. "Is this your little hand?" he cooed excitedly while taking out a green handprint. "And your tiny baby boots!" he added as he took out some booties before moving onto a big trophy. "And a wrestling trophy! I didn't know you were a wrestler, maybe we could've been Tiger Millionaire and the King of the Pride."

"I didn't choose to wrestle." Greg stated before his son found a yearbook to look through. "My parents wanted me to be more active, so they kept making me do all these things." He could still remember how nervous he was in the ring and how he won by sheer dumb luck.

"A middle school yearbook!" Steven exclaimed while gazing at Greg's smiling face in the yearbook. "You had braces!" He then snapped a photo of the picture with his phone. "You looked a lot like me when I was younger, only more….human."

Steven looked a little down for a moment before he decided to look through the signatures in the yearbook. "So many people signed this." Steven commented. "Tim wants you to have a great summer, and who's Lauren Hecht? She sure wrote a lot."

"We were on mathletes together." Greg answered dejectedly. "Another one of the millions of things my parents made me do."

"Where are they anyways?" Steven asked his old man.

"Probably at their timeshare in Florida Island, they go there every winter." Greg stated. "They weren't too happy the first time I said I didn't want to go with them."

Just then, Steven dug up another picture of young Greg dressed in graduation attire, along with his hair being buzzed off all over and a dour frown on his face. "Your hair, it's so short!"

"Did you find my graduation photo?" Greg asked worriedly. "They made me cut it because we didn't have enough time, and it was right before a gig."

"Do you have any photos of you on stage?" Steven inquired while continuing to dig through his father's old things.

"Ha, are you kidding?! Everything music-related was off-limits!" Greg declared with a laugh. "Which is why I had to hide my stuff." Soon, he began thinking back to where he had hidden something long ago.

--

"There's a Starman waiting in the sky, he'd like to come and meet us!" a younger Greg sang along to a glam rock song. "But he thinks he'd blow our minds!"

"Greg, can you come out please?" the voice of Thomas asked while knocking on the door, sending his son into a panic as he hurriedly tried to shut down his music. "What is that you're listening to?"

"It's just a neighbor Dad!" Greg fibbed as he scrambled to take out his CD, but his father took it away just in time.

"Gregory DeMayo." Thomas shook his head in disgust. "Didn't we tell you that we don't allow music in our house, especially the ones all your friends are into? I mean, you know what the news said about what happened to Ozzy Cooper lately."

"I'm sorry Dad, I wasn't paying attention!" Greg apologized to his father.

"We can discuss this later." Thomas stated before handing the disc back to his son and walking out of his room. "Now wash up and come downstairs, it's meatloaf night."

"Again?" Greg muttered disdainfully as soon as his dad was far away enough for him to not overhear. Looking at his CD, Greg put it back in its case before sticking it back in a box with other CDs and hiding the box away in a ventilation shaft, where it would remain for years to come.

--

Back in the present day, the older Greg continued searching for where he had left that box while Steven had a question to ask. "Who's Ozzy Cooper?"

"Rock star from my day who's gotten in trouble for some less than wholesome things." Greg answered before letting out a mirthless chuckle. "Then again, who hasn't these days?" At last, he found the box and opened the ventilation grate, expressing relief that they haven't been found in the years since he had left. "Yes, this is it! We can get out of here!" he declared while pulling the box out of the shaft and heading for the window. "And leave that stuff behind."

As Steven put away his father's old stuff, Greg tried to leave his former bedroom the same way he came in, albeit with a bit more difficulty. "Okay, one leg at a time."

"Wouldn't it be easier to use the front door?" Steven suggested to his dad, who was already halfway out the window.

"Sorry Schtu-ball, force of habit." Greg sheepishly apologized before squeezing back through the window and walking out of the bedroom with his son. After taking one long, last look at his old room, the man formerly known as Greg DeMayo let out a sigh and closed the door on both the bedroom and his childhood.

--

The Universes left the house as night fell and when Steven was about to get into the passenger seat of Greg's van, Greg stopped him. "Hold on there Steven." Greg declared, spinning the car keys around his finger before handing them to his son. "This is your journey of self-discovery, so I think you should take the wheel, little buddy."

"But where are we headed next?" Steven asked as he decided to reluctantly get behind the wheel and started the engine.

"That's up to you." Greg answered before the van left the DeMayo household, leaving Greg's old hometown of Showne and making the long journey back to Beach City. "I get where you're coming from Steven. When I was little Gregory DeMayo, I was just going through the motions and doing what everyone else wanted me to do. Until one day, a friend in social studies passed me this." He then held up a CD featuring songs from the artist Kerry Moonbeam that he fished out of the box. "This CD has the song that made me who I am today, so hold onto your butt!"

As soon as Greg inserted the disc into the van radio, Kerry's music began to play. "Looking for your place in the universe, don't you know the universe is looking too?" the song started and Greg began to passionately sing along, but Steven was looking very unnerved. "Looking for its place in you, and now it's coming through."

"Hey-" Steven tried to speak up.

"Not now kiddo, you're gonna love this part!" Greg cut his son off while the song continued. "Welcome to the party Mr. Universe, we're so glad we're a part of you. Meet the rocks and flowers, the seconds and the hours. The splinters, winters, apples, chapels, teardrops, temples, cats and castles. Anything that you can be, the things that you cannot see, are Mr. Universe. Mr. Universe."

"Dad, is this where our name comes from?" Steven asked in a sudden moment of clarity.

"Yes, exactly!" Greg declared excitedly.

"You took it from a song?" Steven reiterated as he slowly started getting angry.

"Once I heard this, everything changed." Greg explained himself. "I suddenly realized that there was so much more that I've yet to discover that I haven't even dreamt about before! The whole world, the universe even, I wanted to get out there and see everything! So I drove off in the van on the open road and never once looked back at old Showne. I never would've known that years of couch surfing and the basement would've led me to your mother and you. But now it's your turn! Where does Mr. Universe make you want to do, Steven?"

"I-I don't know!" Steven exclaimed.

"Maybe you need to hear it again." Greg suggested and began replaying the song.

"Dad, this isn't helping!" Steven sternly declared and shut off the radio. Greg gave his son a frown and turned it back on, but Steven once again turned it off. The father and son duo then had a brief, wordless exchange of turning the radio on and off again, which got Steven angrier until he finally spoke up.

"I don't need this song," Steven declared furiously. "I need, I need what you had!"

"What do you mean?" Greg asked. "I understand if I offended you somehow and I'm sorry, but what's all this flying off the handle for!?"

"I wish I could've grown up in a house like yours!" Steven answered. "I wish I was just a normal human boy with a normal human life where the Gems never came to Earth to begin with!"

"No you don't!" Greg panicked when he realized something. "And where did this whole thing about wishing the Gems never discovered Earth come from?"

"Maybe your parents weren't so bad." Steven talked back, making his father gasp at such a comment. "Maybe they gave you curfews and chaperones and meatloaf for a reason!"

"Steven, you don't know what they were like!" Greg yelled in response.

"They can't be any worse than Mom's family!" Steven rolled his eyes irately. "I went to a different galaxy for them, and this was right here?!"

"Steven, you don't understand!" Greg tried to calm his son down. "I couldn't do anything I wanted growing up, they all saw what I liked or wanted as wrong! Trust me, you're better off than I was!"

"I can't believe I never realized until now." Steven declared while glowing pink yet again and tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "There's a reason Mom loved you! You're just like her!"

"But you grew up with actual freedom!" screamed Greg.

"I grew up in a stupid van!" Steven screamed back as his barely reasonable anger slowly got the better of him. "I never went to school, I didn't go to a doctor until a few days ago, my life is constantly at risk and barely anyone cares anymore!"

"You're a Gem Steven, you're not like other kids!" Greg exclaimed in terror of what could happen with Steven's fury clouding his mind. "Besides, if you were in school or went to a doctor, I'm just worried you'll attract the wrong kinds of attention!"

"I could've done all that stuff," Steven bellowed. "my problem isn't just that I'm a Gem, it's because I'M A UNIVERSE!" On that last word, Steven ripped the steering wheel from the dashboard while stomping on the brake as the van began to swerve out of control.

"STEVEN, WATCH OUT!" Greg's eyes widened in alarm before the vehicle tumbled across the road and crashed on its side on the dirt beside the road.

--

For the next few moments, Steven lied on the ground unconscious with only his thoughts taunting him about what he's done, along with the very faint voice of his dad coaxing him back to reality.

"She was right, you are a monster." A deep voice echoed within Steven's mind. "What boy would nearly murder his father for trying to talk to him?"

"No, it was an accident, I swear!" Steven responded to the voice.

"I know a liar when I see one." The voice replied. If it had a face, it would've certainly been smirking right now. "You'd rather live a life where the Gems never existed and you were an average human, right?"

Steven kept silent in response, pondering if what the voice said was right, until Greg's voice slowly became louder and louder.

"Steven, Steven!" Greg called out as Steven awakened on the ground to find his dad kneeling by his side. "Oh, thank goodness you're alright! You're lucky you're still in one piece! Me, I think I got a little concussion from the crash, but I think I'll recover."

"What did I do?" Steven groaned in pain from the crash that he caused. "Do you still love me?"

"You just started throwing a tantrum and caused the van to go outta control." Greg answered. "I already called a tow truck to bring us home, but that old hunk o' metal's been through worse. Everything will be okay, we'll get through this together. And, and I'm proud of you."

"What?!" Steven yelled with outrage as he got to his knees. "But I nearly got you killed! Why aren't you punishing me?! Please ground me for this, I'm begging you!"

"Whoa, never realized you were that kinda guy." Greg declared in a daze. "I don't care what you're into, I don't think I'm the one you should be revealing this to."

"That's the concussion talking, right?" Steven asked as the two sat down near the damaged van.

"Yeah, I think that might be mostly it." Greg answered. "But still, I don't think I was ever that brave enough to stand up to my old man like that! I'm glad you're more able to tell me anything because you're having a real hard time recently, I get it. Bismuth can help us get the van fixed when we get home, and-"

As Greg continued talking, Steven refused to listen and instead gazed at the photo of Greg's middle school yearbook picture on his phone. It took some much internal debating, but he then finally decided to delete the picture to express to himself how Greg was slowly becoming dead to him.

Unbeknownst to either father or son, a black, pill-shaped satellite with a white diamond symbol in the midsection hovered far above the highway and began transmitting the information it collected to a faraway cave in the forest outside Beach City.

--

And just like what we've been doing in some chapters, we end on a rather ominous note relating to a certain Rutile. What could she possibly do with the info the satellite gathered? Who is the Ron Perlman voice in Steven's head, and will he come back someday? At least a few of these questions will be answered in the earth-shattering conclusion to both the Tearjerking Three and Part 3, Fragments. Like I've forebodingly announced back in Enemy of my Enemy, you all know what's coming.

[pixie88]

Last Night of Freedom

Chapter 12 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter I wrote at 2 AM this morning my little one had a bad night but I’m glad I wrote this. I hope it makes sense I hope I got all the mistake. I didn’t plan this chapter it just kinda happened. There are quite a few of my own stories in this chapter but I won’t give away what! I hope you laugh as much as I did! I hope you like it! 😘

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!  

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1676

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, Talk of male and female body parts & Mild NSFW

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

3 Months later.

I found my wedding dress, now I know what brides mean when they say once they find THE DRESS they know! You really do know! It's now 5 months before the wedding, and we decided to do the Hen and Stag do's now because Nina can't take anymore holiday off until the wedding.

We pull up to mum's club, Nina, Elaine, Amy and Kerry have already gone through 4 bottles of Prosecco in the limo ride over here, but we did get stuck in traffic thanks to road works.

"Ready for your last night of freedom El's?" Tom asks.

"Why do people say that? It's not like once you're married you're locked away forever, never to be seen again?"

"OK, I was just asking!" he pulls an awkward face.

I shove him "I know, I'm messing with ya! Looks like we are here finally"

We pile out of the limo and into mum's club "Ellie!! Ready for your big night?"

I roll my eye "Yeah, because I always wanted L plates on my chest and in my hair!"

"Don't forget the tutu and feather boa, El's" Tom laughs.

"Right, because how could I forget them, they are bright pink!" I laugh.

"I really don't get the whole L plate thing? She knows how to drive I thought?" Elaine looks confused.

"Well, she must do she's already taken Adam out for a test drive!" Amy winks.

"Oi, you! Stop it! I won't have my husband spoken about like that!" I giggle.

"Who wants cocktails?" Mum asks.

"Mum, Nina loves a blue lagoon. Don't you Nina?"

She gags but laughs.

"El's you choose!" Mum says.

"Nah, I can't drink too much I've only expressed enough for 3 days..."

"Argh, El's can we not talk about your tits please" Tom protests.

I laugh, "Mum, make these guys anything I'll just stick with soft drinks and a couple of Prosecco's"

~*~*~*~

Yup that didn't go to plan.....I'm currently struggling to get a jelly shot out of plastic shot glass and I have Nina shouting "SUCK IT" at me...that's not something you hear your mother in-law shout at you everyday.

I finally got it out "I did it!" I shout!

"El's, here!" Tom passes me something green in a shot glass.

"Tom, I can't..."

"Oh, come on El's 1 more! It's only Apple Sourz. We all have one!" Tom pleads.

"Actually, I think I'm with Ellie on this one" Elaine says. So, Tom reaches to take the shot glass off her, but she turns away, so he can't as she takes tiny sips.

I laugh, "Fine! But no more after this!"

He winks "Pinky promise," he hands one to Nina who has just come back from the toilets.

"Ewww, who got Hulk to piss in a cup!" Nina looks at the shot glass in horror!

We knock back the Sourz "Oh, that was actually quite nice! Can I get a pint of that?" Nina asks.

A little while later I'm at the bar with Elaine, "How do you feel about having the same penis forever?"

I choke on my water "Excuse me? Elaine you did not just say that!"

"I..."

I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn expecting to see one of the other Hen's but I'm greeted by a man with jet black hair and a toothy smile "Last night of freedom ay? Your husband to be is a lucky man. Can I buy you a drink?" he winks as he looks me up and down.

I roll my eyes! There's that saying AGAIN! "Actually, no I'm already married and no I wouldn't like a drink thank you and also you aren't my Adam, so I will not be wasting my last night of freedom with anyone other than my Adam thank you" I usher Elaine away and we join Nina and Mum

"The nerve of that guy" Elaine hisses "Anyway Ellie...hiccup you didn't answer my question!"

"Huh?" I ask her.

"How do you feel about having the same penis forever?" she asks.

"MUM!!!" a tipsy Nina laughs "She clearly enjoys my Adam's pen...."

"OK!! Can we stop talking about my husbands genitals, please?!" I shout.

"Genitals? Who's talking about genitals and why wasn't I invited to this conversation?" Tom asks as he joins us.

"No one was!" I hiss.

"Well, actually we were talking about Adam's..." Nina laughs.

"Argh, OK maybe I don't want to be a part of this conversation" Tom says. 

"Well, El's you were the one that brought up the word genitals.." Mum chimes.

"Yes, because I didn't want to say the word..."

"Penis?!" Elaine cuts me off.

Tom Howls.

"Yes!" I shook my head.

"So, Ellie...." Elaine says.

I give in and answer her question "Yes, Ellie I would like to have Adam's same penis forever!"

"Well, it's clear you enjoy it! Mel and I have seen and heard proof of it" Nina laughs.

"She sits on it enough" Tom jokes.

"Yeah, and you aren't the only ones that have heard and seen it!" Elaine chips in.

I look at her in shock "What? When?"

She blushes as she takes a sip of her drink "It was just after you moved in together...you hadn't got the curtains for the living room yet. I was upstairs in my bedroom about to close my curtains..well, obviously you guys are opposite and you did have that hedge but I could see into your living room from there. Adam was in his boxers dancing on your lap I turned away as soon as I realized what he was doing. I phoned him to tell him that you two could be seen. He answered, but I think he did it by mistakes as all I heard was moaning. I think you may have given the whole street a show"

Oh god that was the night he gave me a strip tease,and we burst one of the blow up sofas.

"Oh, El's you exhibitionist!" Tom chuckles.

"I'm not! I didn't know!" I hiss at him.

"Nothing wrong with being an exhibitionist. The times me and your dad got caught in Bella!" she laughs.

"Wait...Bella? My car Bella?" I ask, hoping she means a different Bella.

She laughs, "El's, she was your dad's car first! We did clean the seats, bonnet and the boot. Like you haven't done it in that car!"

I gag at the thought of my parents having sex in my car "No! Actually, I haven't"

"But you and Adam christened your new car!" Tom winks.

"TOM!" I shoot at him.

"What? You never said I had to keep it a secret!" he laughs.

"I remember Al and I getting caught once. It was on his Nan's sofa, they came back from their holiday early. We were living with them at the time I think I fell pregnant with Adam on that sofa...Not that time, another" Nina tells us.

I look to Tom for help "El's lets go and see Amy and Kerry," he pulls me with him.

"Thank you!" I kiss his cheek.

"That's what big brothers are for," he smiles.

~*~*~*

It's nearly 2:30 AM when I sneak in, I get to the top of the stairs and our bedroom light is on. I quietly open the door just incase Adam has Charlie in there.

When I get through the door, it's just Adam with the TV on, he smiles when he spots me "There's my beautiful already wife! Did you have a good night?"

"What are you still doing up?" I ask.

"I can't sleep without you," he winks.

I flop on to the bed "Aww, you fluff ball. Has Charlie been OK?" I ask.

"As good as gold! He went down in his cot at 7 PM and woke for a feed at 11 PM" he smirks.

"I have a confession to make" I give him my best pout.

He smirks " What have you done?"

I bite my lip "I kinda had more to drink than I planned too"

He chuckles "Is that it?"

"I wasn't supposed to have that much, but then there were shots and jelly shots and your mum was shouting at me to suck it..."

He looks confused "Wait? What?" he's laughing.

"I couldn't get the jelly shot out the plastic shot glass so she started shouting suck it at me" I laugh.

"God! What else happened?" he asks.

"Nan kept asking how I felt about having the same penis forever, then I found out my parents christened every part of Bella and did you know you were conceived on your dad's parents' sofa? Wait, that's not the best part Nan saw your strip tease and heard the after show. Also, some guy tried to buy me a drink but I told him I only wanted my Adam"

He looks half shocked and half amused "First question first what was your answer?"

"To the penis question? Yes, I am very happy to only have yours" I blush.

"Second question, how did parent sex even come up?" he asks.

"This was after Nan had explained she saw us from her bedroom window after we moved, then you pressed accept instead of decline when she phoned you and she heard us"

"Last question, your Adam?" he smirks as he pulls me on top of him, so I'm straddling him.

"Yes, my Adam" I wink "I bet on your stag do, you'll have all the girls falling at your feet"

He chuckles "They can fall all they want there is only one woman that gets my heart racing and my dick pulsing! She is the mother to my child, my beautiful wife and my sassenach!" he smirks.

Pulling me tightly to him, claiming my lips before rolling us, so he's on top "Adam, Charlie will wake up soon!" I giggle as he trails kisses from my lips to my chest.

"We better be quick then," he whispers against my inner thigh.

"Fuck!"

@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @shewillreadyou​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn ​ @irisofpurple​

He pulls down my skirt with my underwear and continue his trail up to my core...

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 13.