#women's wrestling rpg | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

linkspooky · 2 years ago

Text

Fun little comment I got the other day on one of my posts, but it did get me thinking. This wasn’t really a question asked in good faith, but I’m gonna answer it anyway, because it gives me an opportunity to talk.

I think the ideal superhero story is one that criticizes its heroes relentlessly. The same could be said of any story I suppose, main characters who are challenged to grow are more entertaining to realize about than main characters who remain stagnant. The whole point of a story is conflict, if there is no conflict there is no story. It’s like playing an RPG where you’re level one hundred from the start and kill every enemy in one hit. There’s no point to even playing the game because it’d be awfully dull to just walk right through it.

Of course there is a super hero story where the main character kills everything in one hit, ironically, but even that character is challenged by the depression and emptiness he now feels because despite being the strongest dude in existence his life was otherwise kind of empty.

Superho comics especially seem to relish in relentlessly punishing their heroes. If you look up the lifetime of a single major hero in American comics, Nightwing, Batman, especially Batman their lives are filled with tragic events and people they failed to save. Perhaps that is where the SU)PER in superheoes comes from, they are held to an especially high standard. They live their lives selflessly sacrificing for others over and over and that eventually takes it’s toll on them, because the second part of superhuman is “human.” The thing is I don’t hate heroes in stories. I LOVE heroes.

I just don’t like the heroes in MHA that much.

Let me give an example, with the greatest superhero of all time.

Peter Parket, AKA Spiderman. I’ve read posts about how Matt Murdock isn’t much of a hero because hell’s kitchen is like two blocks in New York and they are bad and incorrect because the best heroes aren’t the ones who save the world, the best ones are the ones who don’t have that power and then do their best anyway. Spiderman is at his best as a character when he is just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, he’s a local hometown hero, he patrols New York, he is really bad at balancing his love life, his job, and his time as spiderman. He is a person before he is a hero, and a very flawed person at that.

Spiderman’s very origin is his failure to save someone, because when suddenly given amazing spider powers, regular kid Peter Parker, kind of bullied, kind of put-upon immediately uses his powers to become a pro-wrestler and a television star. A pretty selfish use of his powers, but Peter is a teenager at this point. Coming home from one of his television appearances Peter sees a burglar being chased by a security guard. The guard calls out to Peter for help, but Spidey refuses on the grounds that catching crimminals is not his job.

When Peter later comes home that day, he discovers that his Uncle Ben had been killed by a burglar. Outraged, Peter dons his wrestling outfit and then goes to hunt the man down, only to discover that it was the same man he let go earlier that day. Peter could have easily stopped the man right then and prevented Uncle Ben’s death. Ben’s dying words are what save him however, that with great power comes great responsibility, rather than continuing to use his powers for his own gain he decides to selflessly devote himself to fight crime.

But it doesn’t stop there. One of the most famous story arcs of Spiderman of all time is him once again failing to save someone, and this is not Peter as a fledgling hero but rather when he had been Spiderman from some time. The Death of Gwen Stacy, and yes yes, Gwen didn’t deserve to be sacrificed for Peter’s character development, women in fridges and all that, but there’s a reason this storyline is famous and it’s because it’s IMPACTFUL it mattered in the comics years, even decades after the story was originally published. Here’s an example, the trope “women in refridgerators” was coined by Gail Simone after Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend who was killed and then stuffed into a refrigerator for him to find. Do you even know what Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend name was? However, Gwen Stacy is at least remembered which means there is something about her plotline that works, and for me it’s because it centers around this theme of “failure” again.

Peter, young and in love, failed Gwen Stay in a lot of ways, Peter’s whole character revolves around this idea of his many responsibilities and how he has a hard time balancing these things because he is just one person. One of the early storylines is in fact, Peter failing to save Gwen’s father from Doctor Octopus, which makes him overprotective of her, to the point of not telling her his secret identity ostensibly “for her protection.” What sets off the plotline that leads to the Gwen Stacy’s death however, is one Norman Osborn aka The Green Gobling, the only one at the time to know Peter’s secret identity.

Due tot hat fact, he decides to target Gwen Stacy as a way of getting at Peter. Gwen Stacy with no idea who Spiderman, unaware of this incredibly dangerous aspect of Peter’s life that she is involved with due to being in proximity to him is taken completely off guard and easily captured. Spiderman at the time is also incredibly sick and off his game, because once again Peter Parker is someone who will work himself to death trying to take care of his one million responsibilities.

Goblin at that point threatens Gwen Stacy’s life on the top of a bridge in order to get Peter to give up his identity of Spiderman, of course he’s not going to do that so he fights with Goblin like it is any other hero and villain confrontation. Goblin manages to slip past him and knock her off the bridge, and then you know what happens next. However, what most people don’t remember is what made Gwen Stacy’s death so effective is for a moment it looks like Peter has saved her. Peter, in a moment of borderline arrogance even quips about it because webbing people to catch them from falling buildings is something he has done a hundred times before this.

Only to learn that it was Peter’s method of saving her by catching with her web that delivered her untimely death, as the force of falling and then suddenly coming to a stop snapped her neck. Peter believes he’s saved her until he cradles the body and finds she’s not moving, and after that has an emotional breakdown repeating to himself over and over again that he’s saved her.

Now, I don’t believe it’s Peter’s fault because it was genuinely an accident, and Goblin is the one who chose to throw her off the bridge as a way of getting at Peter. The same way you could say Uncle Ben’s death is not Peter’s fault because he had no way of knowing the robber would later shoot his uncle. Yet, both times it seems like a failure of the main character, because heroes are supposed to save people, when they don’t save someone something’s gone wrong.

Peter, overconfident at that point despite the fact he is sick, and off his game goes in swinging against Green Goblin, and you can even say he focused more on defeating the Green Goblin in a physical fight then the immediate danger to Gwen’s life. He also is way overconfident when he does try to web her to save her, which is what directly leads to him snapping her neck because he just wasn’t thinking about the danger of a fall from that high.

There is also the added element of Peter never telling Gwen about his secret identity, she never knew her life was in danger to any one of Peter’s enemies who would have wanted to target her to get to him. Would she have dated him if she knew this was the case? We never knew because Peter never gave her that choice.

“Gwen: As much of a victim of Spiderman’s lifestyle as Peter Parker? “

The comic itself brings this up, Goblin was the one who killed her, and yet Peter failed in his responsibility towards her in a way. Gwen Stacy’s death becomes a last point of guilt and trauma for Peter that he continues to struggle with, it adds a deep personal conflict for him. There are later comics where Peter remembers what happens to Gwen and tries to do better to make up for what he has lost.

Now, let me compare this to one of the more recent happenings in MHA, a case where a hero has failed to save someone. Bakugo dies in the fight against ShigAFO, and SHIGAFO pointed out that if heroes are going to put inexperienced children on the front lines some of them are going to die.

We have this same setup as we did with the Green Goblin. The villain threatens the loved one of a hero in order to hurt them, the hero fails to arrive to save them. Even if it is the fault of ShigAFO for being the one who killed Bakugo, the heroes still played a role in it, because they made the decision to bring him to the frontlines of a battlefield and directly put his life in danger. The same way that Peter not telling Gwen Stacy his identiity meant she was totally unaware of the danger that would have come with dating him.

Peter tries his absolute best to save Gwen, he made a promise to her father that he would always protect her, he was fighting against Goblin with everything on the line, and yet he still doesn’t save her because of one moment of overconfidence where he thinks webbing her will be enough. Peter as a hero is not perfect, and he cannot save everyone, and Gwen Stacy’s death is a cruel but effective lesson to him in that, and yet his ability to pick himself up and keep going after such a terrible loss and even learn from it to make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistake twice results in character development. However, what happens after Bakugo dies?

LIterally one chapter later, the heroes conveniently have a way to restart his heart with a hero named Edgeshot who has been a background character the entire time. Did anyone know he could do this? Was this foreshadowed and established in any way? People made jokes about this plot twist for weeks because it makes no sense, but for the most part they didn’t care because they wanted Bakugo back... but is the plotline better served if he just immediately pops back up because the plot convenience fairy waved her magic wand?

Imagine if this had happened to Gwen. Gwen got her neck snapped, and then the next issue she just popped back up alive like “Hey, just kidding Peter!” or, while Peter is holding her body some guy just comes along and says he has the super power to heal broken necks. One of the most compelling stories in Spiderman’s history, would have ended up being really lame.

I’d also like to mention I’m a fan of Gwen Stacy’s character. In fact, Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane are two of my favorite female comic book characters of all time, because unlike most comic book love interests they were their own people, with their own little lives, thoughts and feelings they didn’t revolve around Peter. However, the plotline is effective because Gwen Stacy Dies. A story where a hero fails will always be more exciting than the one where the heroes always succeed, because their failures are what makes you sympathize with them. Peter Parker is not perfect, far from it in fact. If you’ve watched the movie “Spiderverse” Peter B Parker in that was super popular with audiences, and at the same time he was a man-child divorcee who is scared of having kids because he’s not mature enough to have them with really bad depression and all of those flaws he had was what made the audience connect with him.

I would argue also that the heroes are compelling characters for the first three arcs of MHA, because they consistently fail. The tournament arc Shoto is completely isolated because no one notices the trauma his father has inflicted upon it, and he doesn’t start to come into his own as a person until Deku reaches out to him. Shinso feels failed by his adult mentors because they didn’t give him a fair shot at pursuing his dream at becoming a hero.

Iida himself fails as a hero when he decides to try to kill Stain out of vengeance for his brother, not only does he fail that but Midoriya and Shoto nearly die as well and are put in harms way because they helped him against Stain. In the camp raid arc, Deku saves the little boy yes, but because he compeltely destroyed his body fighting against Muscular he fails to rescue Bakugo and he’s kidnapped. In the Overhaul arc, Mirio and Deku don’t save Eri when they have the chance and then feel horrible crushing guilt when they realize she is going to suffer more abuse because they didn’t save her right then. Mirio in trying to make up for letting more harm come to Eri, even has to sacrifice his quirk to a quirk erasing bullet because he can’t let her get hit any more times.

During the Pro-Hero arc, Enji is told by his whole family basically none of them care that he defeated a villain, because he hasn’t made up to them the abuse they suffered under him in any way.

The heroes are compelling characters when the story is about their failures, because they are characters, human, flawed, capable of improvement. However, after a certain turning point in the story all criticism of the heroes basically stopped.

When the public is rightfully upset that the heroes are not doing their jobs, you know their government jobs as protectors of society, the things they get paid for (spiderman does this for free you know he doesn’t get anything out of it) Uraraka gave a big speech on how people need to be EASIER ON THE HEROES, because look how much THEYRE SUFFERING.

When Hawks kills Twice, when Enji’s own son reveals himself as a villain, basically the only consequence they have to face is making an insincere apology at a press conference. Enji did not even write his own apology, Hawks wrote it for him.

The story is no longer about the heroes failing, instead we get the story telling us over and over again how good the heroes are at protecting people, how noble they are.

This whole speech reads as kind of preachy and insincere considering that the heroes right now are wielding all their power to beat up three children who were in fact not saved by heroes, Enji destroyed Toya’s life, Toga watched her best friend get murdered by a hero, Nana abandoned Kotaro, and when All Might had the chance to reach out to Shigaraki knowing he was Nana’s grandson and that he had been captured by AFO for who knows how long he just didn’t do anything.

Peter isn’t a moral paragon, he’s a whiny asshole at times, an overconfident brat however what makes him a hero is that he has all of these flaws and he keeps trying. The heroes in MHA are also flawed, but the story acts as if they aren’t, and nothing is their fault anymore. Which is why I’m critical of the heroes, because I am hoping they will finally show some character development and go back to being the compelling characters they were in the first half of the story. If the heroes are making mistakes here, then the plot should recognize them and challenge them to do better. If the heroes are perfect... then why is this story even about them?

#spooky speaks #peter parker #spiderman #my hero academia #gwen stacy #bakugo katsuki

156 notes · View notes

fantasyfantasygames · 9 months ago

Text

Pandora

Pandora: an Autobiography, pandora, 2018

This game about the mythological Pandora's Box. I'm reviewing it back-to-back with Tales of Pandora, with is the Avatar movie series RPG. I did this partly so people wouldn't confuse them with each other.

Pandora is a game about the aftermath of giving in to temptation, dealing with blame, and seeking equilibrium when there's no forgiveness.

No, just kidding. This is a game where you, as Greek pro wrestlers, personally powerbomb and chokeslam demonic personifications of all the evils of humanity. On the cover, the game's title sits neatly juxtaposed against a drawing of just that, which would fit nicely into the Cartoon Guide to Philosophy.

The game uses a d6 dice pool inspired by Weapons of the Gods, where you look matches and turn those into numbers from 11 to 66. For instance, four 3's is a result of 43, and one 5 is a 15. The twist is that your attributes are all negative. You start with 6d6 and subtract dice from it if your stats indicate that you'd be weak against a particular evil. Are you wrestling with Greed but you have a Need score of 2? You're down to 4d6. Most of your rolls are going to be between 3d6 and 5d6. I like the implication that your characters are super-competent and really only held back by their own failings. You can draw on actions from your signature move set, which attach status effects to the Evils if they're successful. You lose dice fairly quickly against them, which is ok because fights are intended as a tag-team effort.

By default Pandora is your quest-giver, the Charlie to your Angels. However, you can also decide to include her in your team so that she can suplex rage itself or tackle influenza personally.

The art is all black-and-white cartoons. The Greeks are drawn Flintstones-like, with exaggerated arms, hands, and shoulders. A handful of them are very dark-skinned, possibly intended to be African. Men and women are both bare-chested, so maybe don't read this on the bus, but none of it is titillating. The Evils are drawn in an even more exaggerated manner: eyes bugging out of their heads, misshapen limbs, horns, warts, gaping mouths, sometimes wings, and each of them unique. The layout incorporates the cartoons very well. It's clear that they were crafted together to work as a single piece.

A short chapter talks about variations on the myth of Pandora. It doesn't go into exactly how those changes might impact the game, but that's clearly the point of it. One full page of that is dedicated to a diss track against legendary misogynist Hesiod, writer of some of the most complete and slanderous Pandora stories we have. That page gets a chef's kiss from me.

The author, lowercase pandora, has written a few one-page RPGs that test out systems used in this game. As they failed or succeeded, the system in this game got revised. Revisions are named for famous wrestlers. Version one was Andre. Currently we're on Foley. If you want to see how the game's going to evolve next, keep an eye on those one-pagers.

#ttrpg #imaginary #indie ttrpg #rpg #review #Foley volunteers for RAINN #Macho Man a surprisingly sensitive guy

8 notes · View notes

gentle-giant-swag · 1 year ago

Text

Gentle giant swag

Apricot bracket semifinals battle 2

GIRLBOSS BATTLE1: MILLY THOMPSON (trigun) vs HOLLY (super lesbian animal rpg)

Propaganda under the cut!

Milly propaganda

Big silly women win forever

Best girl :)

She’s a lovely himbo with a big ol gun that shoots these metal restraint things? I dunno it’s basically a giant stapler. She’s very gentle

Cute, optimistic, carries a huge gun under her dress

Because when I was a 5'11" goofy spacey ten year old girl I saw milly thompson on my TV and damn near cried. There really weren't many Big Huge anime girls back then and she's SO. GOOD. and she's gentle!! and wants to do right by others!! and she's strong and competent and a career woman too!!

I believe she qualifies as a herbo.

Holly propaganda

She's an enormous woman, like takes up 2 game tiles in width and has extra dialogue if you talk to her from the side asking you not to speak into her armpit huge, and she's the most absolutely buff character I have ever seen rendered in pixel art. She is a massive mound of muscle who is fond of wrestling. She works for the Paladin Brigade as a healer and town guardian. She's super friendly and gets along really well with Allison in particular. She's such a fun character. She gives Melody her starting weapon for free, the bent staff she has in the promotional art (which was originally designed that way so it would just bend out of the way of covering her face), and even the tooltip says it's quite obvious how it got bent that way.

She's big and buff and she's a healer. Her hat is just a tiny knight helmet that couldn't fit on her head, so she wears it like a fez. She holds cage matches. She has so much love in her heart.

#gentle giant swag #tumblr tournament #semifinals #tumblr poll #fandom poll #polls #tumblr tourney #milly thompson #trigun #super lesbian animal rpg #holly slarpg #SLARPG

22 notes · View notes

kikicandoit · 6 months ago

Text

Hi! I'm Kiki!

Hello and welcome to my little corner of the Internet! ^-^

My name is Kiki, pronouns she/her, and I’m a writer and illustrator currently based in Canada. I usually write longform original fiction, though I’ve also dabbled in gaming journalism—you may have heard some of the scripts I’ve written for YouTube channels like Did You Know Gaming and TripleJump! I also write and illustrate comics in addition to character illustrations and commissioned works (commission info can be found here!).

As for media, I love movies, video games, and books! I usually prefer things within the “genre fiction” label: fantasy, sci-fi, horror, et cetera. I’m not usually great at keeping up with current things, but I always love discovering a new favorite among older titles. I like monster movies (especially black and white ones!) and curling up under a blanket with a good mystery novel. When it comes to games, I typically like RPGs, fighting games, and adventure games the most.

Before I go any further, here’s some ground rules for my blog:

Transphobia of any kind will not be tolerated.

I don’t post NSFW content on this blog.

Potentially triggering content will be tagged “tw [label].” If I post something without an appropriate warning, please reach out and let me know.

As you’ll soon find out, I’m someone who likes having my fingers in a lot of pies (even when I really shouldn’t @_@) so I’m often dabbling in little projects on the side, or experimenting with new creative mediums to tell stories in, or bingeing a new series.

Here's a breakdown of some things I commonly post about!

My WIPs:

#Corpse Worm: My first original webcomic, a horror-comedy action adventure about monsters engaging in shonen-style battles with unique powers; think Courage the Cowardly Dog meets One Piece. Current status: permanent hiatus, though I’m working on writing a synopsis of the unfinished story to give some closure. You can read it all here.

#The Witching Hours Are 9 to 5: My current webcomic, an urban fantasy buddy comedy about a brother-sister duo of paranormal investigators that combines action with chaotic sibling energy. I started it as a warm-up project, just making something for the sake of making it without stressing about the quality too much, so the art is a bit slapdash but I’m proud of it all the same. Current status: active, updated whenever I feel like it. You can read it on its own website here or on Webtoon here.

#Scarlet Canticle: My primary long-form writing project, a (planned) series of dark fantasy novellas with a gritty, pulpy style to them. I wanted to write something in the vein of Conan the Barbarian but with less…baggage. And more buff women. Current status: actively being worked on!

#Swole Hearts: A visual novel dating sim I'm currently developing in Ren'Py. It's a silly and lighthearted game where you can meet and date buff women. You can play the demo here.

#Ginormous: Another comic project that I’ve done some early work on but not yet committed to full-time. It’s a battle series about people who summon kaiju doing battle with other kaiju. It’s a project where I channel a lot of my love for monster movies. Current status: inactive, but you can read an “episode zero” on Webtoon here.

#Mascara: A comic project I hope to do someday. It’s an action drama about female pro wrestlers (in a setting where wrestling is a legitimate contest). Current status: not even started, I just love drawing the characters I have in mind for it.

#Lonesome Stars: A sci-fi writing project I dabble in on the side about a ragtag group of voyagers in a universe without planets. No real end goal in sight for this one, it’s just for funsies at the moment. Current status: worked on intermittently.

#Cloud Sea: A fantasy setting I created, originally for a book I wanted to write but now it bounces around from project to project—sometimes it’s a novel, sometimes it’s an RPG Maker game, sometimes it’s a homebrew tabletop system. It’s focused on swashbuckling fantasy in an early-industrial world of sky islands and dwindling magic. Current status: worked on when I feel like it.

#Heinous Highness: My first attempt at making a video game, a turn-based RPG where you play as an evil sorceress tired of having her plans for world domination thwarted. Current status: inactive, but I like the characters.

Fandom Tags:

Fandoms that I frequently like to post/reblog about include, but are not limited to:

#Godzilla: My favorite movie series of all time!!! This tag is mostly about Godzilla and related topics specifically, but I also use to include posts about other kaiju as well.

#Ace Attorney: Guilty as charged! I’m a big fan of the Phoenix Wright games!

#Wrestling: Yup, I’m also a filthy mark who loves to watch the graps. It’s still real to me, dammit!

#Jojo: I’m not a huge anime fan normally, but I do love Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

#Darkstalkers: I love fighting games of all kinds, but Darkstalkers holds a special place in my heart. It’ll get a new installment…someday… ;-;

#Tales of Stuff: In addition to fighting games, I also love RPGs, and the Tales series is one of my favorite franchises! I talk about the entire series, but Tales of the Abyss is by far my favorite.

#Castlevania: Another one of my favorite video game series. I’m a fan of the whole kit and kaboodle, though I’ll generally talk about the games more than the animated series.

#Discworld: My favorite series of fantasy novels, and one that continues to inspire me as a writer. GNU Sir Terry.

Miscellaneous Tags:

#Kiki Can Do Art: The tag I put on all of my own original art.

#Kiki Can Do Writing: The tag I use when posting or discussing something I wrote.

#Kiki Can Do Comics: Likewise, I use this tag when posting about my own comics.

#Kiki Can Do Commissions: Usually seen in conjunction with “Kiki Can Do Art,” this tag goes on anything I was commissioned to make for a client.

#Kiki Can Do Journaling: For general bloggery and posting about my life.

#Friend Art: A tag used when reblogging art made by people who are close friends of mine. <3

#Friend Tags: A tag I use for posts that I was tagged in by a friend. It is always morally correct to tag me in things you think I’ll like.

#Fav: A tag I slap on any reblog of something that I find particularly funny or interesting.

Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog! I hope you like what you see!

#kiki can do journaling #blog intro

5 notes · View notes

dinothedemonkiller · 1 year ago

Text

I feel like Tumblr is that one annoying RPG friend that I had back in the day but this time it's about baldur's gate 3.

Like its running up to me going "Bro check out this game it has big women" or "Bro it's so cool here check this out" and I'm just sitting there like "Yeah man sure, so about that wrestling stuff"

#baldur's gate 3 #br3 #rpgs

2 notes · View notes

bookclub4m · 2 years ago

Text

Episode 166 - Sports (Non-Fiction)

This episode we’re talking about Non-Fiction Sports books! We discuss how to define sports, live sports, weird rules, and more!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | RJ Edwards

Things We Read (or tried to…)

The Comic Book Story of Basketball: A Fast-Break History of Hops, Hoops, and Alley-OOPS

Canadian Heritage Minutes: Basketball (YouTube)

(lots more below in “Links, Articles, and Things”)

Walking: One Step at a Time by Erling Kagge, translated by Becky L. Crook, narrated by Atli Gunnarsson

Revolutions: How Women Changed the World on Two Wheels by Hannah Ross

One Game at a Time: Why Sports Matter by Matt Hern

Strong Like a Woman: 100 Game-Changing Female Athletes by Laken Litman

A Most Beautiful Thing: The True Story of America's First All-Black High School Rowing Team by Arshay Cooper, narrated by Adam Lazarre-White

Other Media We Mentioned

Football in Sun and Shadow by Eduardo Galeano, translated by Mark Fried

Soccer vs. the State: Tackling Football and Radical Politics by Gabriel Kuhn

Links, Articles, and Things

Which Pokémon are the most goth? (featuring Matthew and Jam)

Lumberjack World Championship (Wikipedia)

Sports Book Awards

Mascot Mischief (Jam’s mascot RPG)

Pawtucket Red Sox (Wikipedia)

It’s possible the burlesque wrestling event that Anna and Matthew went to was Glam Slam, which still exists!

Heritage Minutes (Wikipedia)

Wilder Penfield (YouTube)

Sam Steele (YouTube)

Halifax Explosion (YouTube)

Jackie Shane (YouTube) (most recent one!)

The 10 Best Canadian Heritage Minutes of All Time

A Part of Our Heritage (YouTube)

AK Press (Wikipedia)

Green Bay Packers (Wikipedia)

List of fan-owned sports teams (Wikipedia)

Sex verification in sports (Wikipedia)

Testosterone regulations in women's athletics (Wikipedia)

Zhang Shan: The only female shooter to win gold in a mixed competition

“After the Barcelona Games, the International Shooting Union barred women from shooting against men. For the next years, the skeet event remained on the Olympic Games programme, but only for male athletes.”

The Bob Emergency: a study of athletes named Bob, Part I by Jon Bois

Barbados intentionally scored an own goal to help them win by two thanks to a weird golden goal rule Weird Rules on Secret Base (YouTube)

Twenty20 (Wikipedia)

“Twenty20 (T20) is a shortened game format of cricket.”

Episode 159 - Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose by Leigh Cowart

16 Sports (Non-Fiction)books by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina by Misty Copeland

Indigenous Feminist Gikendaasowin (Knowledge): Decolonization through Physical Activity by Tricia McGuire-Adams

Rebound: Sports, Community, and the Inclusive City by Perry King

A Beautiful Work in Progress by Mirna Valerio

Basketball (and Other Things): a Collection of Questions Asked, Answered, Illustrated by Shea Serrano

Black Gods of the Asphalt: Religion, Hip-hop, and Street Basketball by Onaje X. O. Woodbine

Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete by William C. Rhoden

In My Skin: My Life on and Off the Basketball Court by Brittney Griner

Blood in the Garden: The Flagrant History of the 1990s New York Knicks by Chris Herring

A Team of Their Own: How an International Sisterhood Made Olympic History by Seth Berkman

Tigerbelle: The Wyomia Tyus Story by Wyomia Tyus, Elizabeth Terzakis

Rise of the Black Quarterback: What It Means for America by Jason Reid

Courage to Soar: A Body in Motion, a Life in Balance by Simone Biles with Michelle Burford

My Olympic Life by Anita L. DeFrantz and Josh Young

Back in the Frame: How to get back on your bike, whatever life throws at you by Jools Walker

Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable by Tim S. Grover

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Twitter or Instagram, join our Facebook Group, or send us an email!

Join us again on Tuesday, January 17th we’ll be discussing reading resolutions!!

Then on Tuesday, February 7th it’ll be our annual Valentine’s Day episode and we’ll be talking about the genre of Holiday Romance!

#sports #episodes #genres #nonfiction

3 notes · View notes

empressofthesunwriter · 1 year ago

Text

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Welcome to the semi-last and longest chapter!

We will have a little epilog after that and then start with book two”

I hope you will enjoy it.

Chapter 16: Let’s fighting Love!

The Dark Fortress of Clyde looms in the background as King Kyle and I stand before our people and alias.

This…this is the Endgame.

We all feel it in the air.

Dramatically wind makes our clothes and hair sway as King Kyle speaks: “Today, we are not elves and humans! Today... we fight as ONE!”

“Years later from now on, children will talk and sing about our heroic effort to defeat the Dark Lord Clyde!”, I add. “Let us besiege the army of darkness with the courage of amazons! Let us delve into their dungeon with swords and sorcery!”

“Let us charge our shields and use photon torpedos to vaporize the Klingons!”

A record scratches formally.

I just blink at Kevin Stoley, the one I found the IPad of his dad by the church, returning it to him.

I’m not sure what to say.

For once in a lifetime Cartman interference is welcome. He standing beside Leo, facepalming.

“Kevin, god dammit. Every fucking time, Kevin. God fucking dammit, seriously.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay.”, I get my bearings back and wave. “Armies of justice and light! PREPARE! Are you ready?!”

I hear loud yeses and agreeing shouts.

“Then... let's kick Clyde’s ass!”

Like an unstoppable tidal wave, we storm the front door of Clyde’s home, while his dad stands beside it, staring at us in confusion.

We enter the garden and the epic battle begins!

It was early on decided that me, King Kyle, Princess Kenny, Lady Tammy, Paladin Leo, Bard Jimmy, and Wizard Fatass would take care of Clyde.

Ranger Stan of course too, but for the moment he helped the Pirates, led by Maplebeard, who is a cute Canadian kid and King Kyle’s brother, get us inside the fortress from outside, while we storm it from the inside.

We battle, we solve riddles, and we climb the tower higher and higher.

Craig awaits us with three Nazi Zombie cows, but we can take away two.

The thief and his cow were nothing.

Ranger Stan joins us now and we continue on.

Clyde has to be in the next room!

But surprise, surprise waiting for us is…

“Dad? What the hell are you doing here?”, asks Stan Mr. Marsh.

“Oh! It's my favorite kid!”, yells Mr. Marsh and kneels down before me. Dude…that’s so not okay to say this when your son is standing right there! “Listen, I found out what they were doing at the women's clinic! They were looking for a candidate to put a snuke into! They're going to nuke ALL OF SOUTH PARK!”

“A snuke?”, repeats King Kyle shocked.

We all feel this too.

That’s so not good at all.

“You boys and girls don't understand. They've put the snuke HERE.”

Even better!

“Who did?”

“Whomever these people are CLAIMING to be Taco Bell! We should've known. We should have known Taco Bell is far too compassionate and caring to be so secretive. The quality of their character, like the quality of their food, should have never come into question.”

“Dad, where is the woman with the snuke?”

“They didn't put it in a woman.”

Mr. Marsh leads us to the person.

It’s Mr. Slave!

He is bonded on a pillar without pants, but thank god his tank top cowers his privates.

Another trauma I don’t need.

“All I remember was that there were these big government guys, and they wrestled me to the floor at my house! And then I remember thinking, well this is fun, but wait, is that a thermonuclear device?”, tells us Mr. Slave what happened to him. “I had some drinks so putting a thermonuclear device up my ass wasn't COMPLETELY out of the question... oh Jesus Christ, how long do I have?!”

“We don't know, Mr. Slave, but it could be a matter of MINUTES.”, answer him, Mr. Marsh.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Pull it out!”

Mr. Slave turns his behind in our direction.

What the fuck?!

It’s not like we can just pull it out of the ass!

But this shows how stupid Cartman actually is because he tries.

TRIES, in big letters, since Kyle slaps his hand away.

“No! We can't just pull it out! Snukes have triggers on them! We have to abort it -- from inside.”

“Oh COME ON! Who knows how to do abortions AND can get really really small?”, counters Fatass.

…I don’t like where this is going.

All beside Tammy have now a thinking face going on, asking who could do this, while we two girls argue non-verbal.

Tammy really wants me to get small, climb in Mr. Slaves’ ass and abort the snuke.

I make clear I don’t wanna do this fucked up shit and if this is so important, she can do it.

It goes like this for a few seconds, till Tammy makes at me the best puppy dog eyes and puckers her lips at me.

…I’m a thirsty hoe…if she really will give me a kiss…oh god…I’m actually doing it!

Gritting my teeth I step forward but grip Tammy by the hand and before she can make it clear that she doesn’t want to join me, I shrink us both.

“Oh, look! The girls are all small.”, points out Mr. Slave.

“Wow, this kid is just FULL of surprises! Quick! Get up there and disarm the snuke! Hurry!”

“No need to tell us twice, Mr. Marsh!”, I call back and formally drag Tammy with me.

“Oh, be careful girls. I might have also put some bats up there the other night.”, warns Mr. Slave.

Tammy gives up and faces her destiny.

She knows without me she can’t grow big again, so she is stuck anyway.

So…yeah we enter a man’s body through his asshole.

Ladies and gentlemen we didn’t reach the Fucked-Up-Meter, we completely obliterated it!

“I hate you so much right now!”, growls Tammy at me.

“Hey, you wanted me to go up this ass! Do you really think I would go alone? Someone has to suffer with me.”, I simply say.

“Fucking shit! Let’s get this over with!”, angry she follows the anal channel? Is it called so? “Next time you take one of your boy toys.”

“They didn’t promise me a kiss.”

I follow after her.

“I regret that too.”

We don’t go far since…a frog with a crown stops us?

What?

What does Mr. Slave put in his ass?

“New Kid and follower, you must find a way out of this place or you will surely die.”, tells us this Frog King. “The way behind you is blocked by the large sphincter. Make haste to the large intestine! All will be made clear to you then!”

Geez, thanks for that information you strange thingy.

Tammy and I side-eye each other and then shrug our shoulders.

Whatever let’s go.

As we make our way through Mr. Slaves’ ass I could swerve someone is singing a song for me about this adventure.

Maybe I have gone gaga.

After what I experienced these days and now this, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Also, Mr. Slave has a lot of things up his ass.

Like a creepy hand puppet with a Zylinder, corn, and even his own phone.

I don’t have words for all this literary shit.

We kill some Nazi Zombie Bacteria, because of course, why shouldn’t he have this up his ass also, free the bat Mr. Slave warned us, as we encounter another spectral being.

It’s a bird.

“I am the Sparrow Prince.”

A sparrow.

Sure, why not?

I already lost all hope in humanity.

“Like you, I was once used for pleasure as an anal plaything, and thus perished in this place. Now you must defeat my angry spirit in order to move forward. I know I don't really sound that angry, but trust me, I am.”

Of course, we need to battle it.

OF COURSE!

The battle is tough I won’t lie, but Tammy and I are unstoppable together.

We defeat the Sparrow Prince.

“You have proven yourself in combat, young anal plaything. You may journey forth. Find the snuke's trigger and save the outside world. Fare thee met and fare thee well.”

And…he is gone.

Tammy rubs her forehead.

“I will need lots of therapy after this whole shit.”

“Yeah, I was planning an making an appointment next week, wanna come with me?”

Sick of all this we continue on.

Okay, I admit it’s a bit of a surprise finding soldiers guarding Mr. Slaves’ asshole.

“Armed guards? What are they doing here?”, wonders the Frog King.

He and the Sparrow Prince appeared at our sides.

“Whoever seeks to blow up the city clearly doesn't want anyone stopping them.”

“You must get past them, New Kid. Go fuck ‘em up.”

“No need to tell me twice.”

Did I really talk with the two spectral beings?

God, when is this finally over?

Tammy and I defeat the soldiers and finally there is the fucking snuke!

We are so close to ending this!

A new spectral being appears before us.

It’s some kind of fish. Since he lives in a gay man, does it make it a gay fish?

“Hello, New Kid. I... am Catatafish.”

Catatafish of the stomach's cove.

There is again the singing!

“The trigger of the thermonuclear device lies before you. I have tried to solve its riddle, but I have been unable to disarm it.”

Catatafish riddle will soon be told.

“There are only moments to spare. Find a way to disengage the trigger, or all will be lost.”

“Ready to abort this thing?”, ask me, Tammy.

“Let’s get this bread!”

One good thing, aborting the snuke is not as creepy, sick, and disgusting as the other one I did today.

As thank you for the successful abortion Mr. Slave sneezes me and Tammy out of his body.

Well, the mouth is better than the way we came in at least. The three spectral beings who live in Mr. Slaves’ ass appear again, thank me and gift me a crown.

I wait till they vanish to throw it away.

I don’t wanna know where it was and I want to forget all this ever happened.

I make Tammy and myself grow big again.

“Great job!”, praises Mr. Marsh. “You disarmed the snuke. South Park is saved.”

We, girls, give a tired thumbs up.

“Yes. Now let's finish this, bitch. Let's beat Clyde once and for all, and take back the Stick of Truth!”

“Cartman I warn you, my tolerance is really low right now. If you don’t want that I fucking kill you, stop insulting me!”

This shuts him up or maybe my crazy death serious look and our group moves forward to finally face Clyde.

We enter his dark throne room.

Clyde is standing beside a container with the Nazi Zombie goo.

“Fools! You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness!”

“Clyde! Back away from that stuff!”, warns Stan.

“Oh, but I have yet to complete my army! You have come to witness the power of darkness!”

“Stop! Clyde!”, plead King Kyle. “You have no idea what that stuff is!”

“Yeah huh, it's green sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site.”

“Dude, that's not Taco Bell sauce.”, informs Stan.

“Then why'd I find it at Taco Bell?”

“It leaked out of a UFO, Clyde! It's toxic goo from another galaxy! Think about it! Since when does Taco Bell have a green sauce, dude?”, tells him Cartman.

“Actually, since about a year ago.”, answer him King Kyle, like Fatass asked this really and it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

Me and Tammy roll our eyes as the boys talk about this green sauce of Taco Bell and Clyde being all triumphal since he thinks it’s really this green Taco Bell sauce and not the alien goo.

“Oh my god, can you all stop!”, I shout, losing my nervs. “I crawled up a gay man’s asshole to abort a fucking snuke! I just wanna take a long bad and go to bed and try to forget all this shit. Clyde as the current queen of Kupa Keep give me the fucking Stick of Truth back or I will come over and kick you so hard in the balls that you will talk the rest of your life in a high-pitched voice!”

All the boys make a face at my threat, while Tammy nods in agreement.

“And I will kick too, when she is done!”, she promises.

Clyde is battling for a second with himself, you can clearly see it, but having the Stick of Truth gives him balls.

“You can try, but I have a little surprise for you!”

He lets the green goo flow into a coffin.

…Okay, why didn’t I see it before?

The person who lies in the coffin punches a hole through it and sits up.

It’s a…Nazi-Zombie Chef who sings: “I'm gonna make love to you womannnn...”

All my friends scream, while I just have a WTF-Face.

While we fight him, my friends tell me that he was once the Chef of Elementary School and a good friend of theirs.

Makes me sad for them, that they have to fight their friend.

In the end, Clyde is not happy with Chef’s performance as Nazi Zombie and fucking lits him on fire!

Since I don’t have another choice I send a Dragenshout at him, putting him to rest again.

Now Clyde knows he is fucked and tries to escape, but Fatass blocks him.

“Your eons of torment are at an end, ruler of darkness!”, growls Fatass.

“Um, okay, um, you know what, I'm not playing anymore.”, whines Clyde.

Hah, in the end, he is a little pussy.

“You have broken the rules of the Stick and for that I banish thee. I banish thee...from SPACE AND TIME!”

With that Cartman Sparta kicks Clyde away. He flies off the balcony to the ground below.

Fuck yes, it’s over!

Finally!

“We did it dude!”, shouts Stan happy.

King Kyle turns to me and takes my hands in his.

I blush like a tomato. Doesn’t help that Tammy wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Dark Magician Queen N.K., your long journey ends here. For all your deeds, and all your time put into this, we all agreed-“

“-Hesitantly-“, calls Cartman in between with a deadpan look, but doesn’t stop it what is happening right now.

“-We all agreed that you shall be the ruler of us all! From now on you will be Dark Magician Empress N.K., the rightful ruler over Zaron and Larnion. Over humans and elves!”

I gasp shocked, while all applaud me, beside Cartman, who just rolls his eyes, but I don’t care.

I don’t care!

They made me Empress, ruler of all the kingdoms!

I can’t.

I look at Tammy and she nods.

Now I know why she said I should bring this along with me…

“Give us a sec!”, tells Tammy, the boys.

We hide together behind a pillar.

Tammy helps me to take off my Dark Magician Girl Cosplay and put on another one.

In my new cosplay I step back to the boys.

All gasp in wonder and I smile prettily.

“Neo Queen Serenity!”, claps Princess Kenny excitedly. “Even with her silver hair!”

Oh god, does this mean, Kenny is a Sailor Moon Fan?! Cool!

I curtesy before my people.

“I will be the best Empress to you and all residents of Zaron and Larnion.”, I promise.

“Quickly, now let's get the Stick back to safety before anyone can do –“

King Kyle can’t even finish his sentence as helicopters appear. From every corner soldiers come…even Eye-Patch-Grandpa is with them!

“We've got her, we've got the Dragonborn.”, shouts Eye-Patch-Grandpa.

Erm…what?

I have suddenly a bad feeling in my stomach.

“The Dragonborn?”, repeats Fatass confused. “What the -- who, what?”

“You can’t run away this time Dragonborn!”, declares Eye-Patch-Grandpa and picks up the Stick of Truth!

“He has the Stick of Truth!”, yells Fatass.

King Kyle turns to me.

“How does this guy know you, Dark Magician Empress N.K.?”

I…I can’t answer him…I’m shaking…I feel like throwing up!

“N.K.?”, whispers Tammy worried, and takes one of my cold hands in hers.

“Dark Magician Empress N.K.? Is THAT what you told them your name was? Why didn't you tell them your REAL name – CODENAME: DOVAHKIIN!”

I…I breath heavy…I’m so…so scarred…flashes are before my eyes…flashes of this man…of these man hunting me!

Even Kyle sees now that I’m ready to freak out and takes my other hand in his.

“N.K., what’s wrong?”

I just grip Tammy and Kyle’s hands tight. I can’t speak! I’m so terrified.

“You don't remember, do you?”, asks Eye-Patch-Grandpa. Well, not really. “How we tried to find you?”

“Look, that Stick belongs with the fighters of Zaron!”, makes Stan clear to him. “Give it back!”

“Fighters of Zaron? Boys and girls what's going on here is much more complex than that. This isn't the first time a UFO has crashed on Earth. You see, in 1947 a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico...”

“Oh, god.”, groans Wizard Fatass.

“Oh, brother, spare us.”, begs Stan annoyed.

“Hang on a sec. A UFO crashed in Roswell and a new government agency was created to investigate the paranormal. Our Agency.”

“Can we skip this? Like, hit the skip button or something?”, wonders Cartman.

“Oh, you don't want to skip this.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok, our agency is there and we have never lost a fight. That is...until eleven years ago a certain child was born.”

“Yawn yawn yawn.”

“A child who had an unnatural power inside her. I had been ordered by the President to turn her into an even more powerful weapo, than she already was. So we experimented on her and were successful. The ultimate weapon! But thanks to her parents she slipped through our hands.”

“The government wants the N.K. for her farts?”, say’s Kyle in disbelieve.

“That's dumb.”, adds Stan.

“Her farts? No. Her amazing ability to make friends so quickly on any social network. The day she was born she already had 10 million followers on Facebook. Before she was 5 years old she had 3.2 billion friends on Facebook alone. Do you have any idea the power that kind of gift yields in today's world? It's time to come with us, Dovahkiin. Time to stop resisting and use your gifts for your country.”

“Is he really still talking?”, asks Cartman done with everything.

“Are we really so different, you and I, Dovahkiin?”

“…What about my Magical Girl form?”, I finally found my voice again and…I remember…slowly but surely… ”Is this the result of the experiments you did on me?”

“Ah yes, they are. We wanted you to have extra powers to protect you from any kind of harm. Your social media powers are too valuable to be lost by your early death, so we genetically modified you. It was a success, but instand of using it for your country, you use them to get away from us. You have to do what the government tells you, just like me. We're all just pawns in their game. I'll admit you are fascinating, you have more power than any child I've ever come across. And yet all you seem to really care about... is this.”

Eye-Patch-Grandpa holds the Stick of Truth high above his head.

“It must be very important. What does it do?”

Cartman rolls his eyes.

“Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe, dumbass.”

“Yeah, stupid.”, adds Stan.

“Controls the... but then... I wouldn't have to do what I was told anymore. I could.”, laughs Eye-Patch-Grandpa. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HAAA! I control the universe! Get back. BACK I SAY! ALL OF YOU! I can do anything. ANYTHING I WANT! AHAHAHA!”

Oh my god, he get’s naked!

I throw up a bit in my mouth.

“I no longer need YOU, Dovahkiin... I control the UNIVERSE!”

He runs away and we after him.

Clueless he waves the Stick of Truth around.

“Er ... damn thing! How does it work? Show me how it works!”, Eye-Patch-Grandpa demands.

“Yeah, right.”, scoffs Stan.

“Dovahkiin, why should we be on opposite sides? Join me, Dovahkiin. Rule by my side. Rule... and you can have THIS all to yourself, FOREVER.”, he tries to butter me up. “I can offer you all! Just get me safely out of here, you can rule with this once again.”

“After all you did to me and my family? Hunting us down from one end of the USA to the another?”, I scream and point at him. “You think I would rule with you?! News flash asshole, you can suck my dick and I will stay with my friends!”

All my friends let out agreeing sounds.

Suddenly Princess Kenny steps forward.

Huh?

“Dude, where're you going?”, asks Kyle what we all think.

Princess Kenny just calmly walks up to Eye-Patch-Grandpa and…takes the Stick of Truth from him?!

She lets out an evil laugh.

We all gasp shocked.

“Princess Kenny!”, shouts Wizard Fatass.

“Top Ten most shocking anime betrayals of all time!”, I can’t help but say this.

I’m just…what?

Why?

“At least one of you has some sense.”, says Eye-Patch-Grandpa smugly.

“You'd sell us all out?”, ask King Kyle in a rhetorical fashion.

“But why, Princess Kenny?”, wants Stan to know, like we all.

Suddenly motherfucking Morgan Freeman appears and explains: “Because Princess Kenny was born a half-orc whose entire village was wiped out by humans and elves. You see when humans and elves lived together in the forests of Hollow Falls, an elven queen fell in love with the orc known as Dandar - the first one to possess the Stick of Truth. They loved in secret and had a child, a beautiful little girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood. And that is why she waited... and plotted... all this time. To take the Stick from you. For Princess Kenny is the true heir to the Stick of Truth.”

“Wow, that's pretty cool.”, admins Cartman.

“Just one thing, Morgan Freeman.”, turns King Kyle to the famous actor. “How come every time something convoluted needs explaining you show up?”

“Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.”

And there is the freckle he talked about.

Princess Kenny looks at me and holds a hand out.

“Beautiful N.K., join me. We will rule together over Zaron and Larnion as it should be. As powerful queens! Be my wife!”

All gasp, while my mouth meets the floor and I blush crimson red.

If this is not a declaration of love, then I don’t know what else could be.

“H-Hold on!”, intercedes King Kyle and stands before me. He goes down on one knee, taking my hand. “Don’t listen to Princess Kenny! Stay with us! Stay with me! I actually wanted to ask you this in private but…please would you give me your hand in marriage? I know you are already Empress, but nothing would honor me more than be your husband.”

Even more shocked gasps and I turn so red it needs a new name.

“Damn girl, two proposes in one day, you are a legend.”, whisper-shouts Tammy at me with a proud smile.

I send her a look, before I look from Kyle to Kenny and back from Kenny to Kyle.

Oh dammit, what should I do?

They both made clear they want me!

…There is only one way.

I take my hand back from Kyle and step closer to Tammy.

I shake my head.

“I can’t be neither be your queen Kenny or your wife Kyle.”, I begin and look at the floor. Tammy wraps an arm around my shoulders. “And…not why because I don’t like you…the true is…I like you both equally and that’s not fair to either of you…”

After my confession it’s still for a few seconds before Fatass has to say what he thinks: “Thirsty hoe.”

I just look and point at him.

“You got me there.”

Princess Kenny sends me a sad look but doesn’t use the Stick of Truth to command that I shall be on her side. She just turns and runs away from us.

“Princess Kenny, come back here!”, shouts Fatass after her.

We all run after her and Eye-Patch-Grandpa. We conor them on a high platform.

This feels like the true final boss fight.

“Give us the Stick, Princess Kenny. You don't want to go down like this, brah.”, warns Wizard Fatass her.

Our traitor’s Princess just mumbled something we don’t understand and I shit you not we all see an anime opening starring her.

Okay, first Leo with his anime dude power, and now this?!

Where can I learn this shit?

More time to think I don’t have since we all need to kick Princess Kenny’s ass.

Together we beat her easily.

“It's all over, Princess Kenny. The thirsty hoe is too powerful for you.”

“I swerve to god Cartman, you may be right, but stop it, or I kick you in the balls!”

But Princess Kenny is not done with us. Even Stan and Kyle begging her not to do it doesn’t stop her to drink the alien goo turning her into…

“Aaagh! Nazi zombie Princess Kenny!”, screams Fatass.

“Fuck!”, adds King Kyle.

With an angry shout, the Princess storms us.

I don’t know how long we fight.

We kill her, only for her to come back again!

It doesn’t stop!

“She doesn't stay dead! We can't beat her!”, cries Stan.

“Dude, we're fucked! There's no way!”, agrees King Kyle with him.

“There is one way. We're gonna have to break the Gentlemen's Code.”, tells Cartman.

….Oh hell no! I will not do this! Forget it!

Before anyone can do or say something I step forward.

“N.K?”, calls questionly Tammy.

“Let me handle this…there is another way…”

“Oh really and what one Douchebag?!”

“THIS!”, I shout.

I let the energy flow through my whole being transforming me in my Magical Girl form. This time even with music and end pose!

I flick one of my long pink pigtails, pointing at Princess Kenny, while the others, besides Tammy, are in awe.

“Let’s see who is the better anime princess, my lady!”

We both face off against each other.

My golden light attacks hit her strong and fast. They are the perfect weapon against her Nazi-Zombieness.

Again she falls, but before she can revive herself again, I call for my Magical Girl Wand.

It’s actually the Katana I could finally buy from Jimbo, but in my hands, it transforms into a sword-like wand.

“Holy Light Sword Cut Healing Session!”, I shout my attack.

It hits Princess Kenny!

All geta swarmed over in a brilliant white light. The light heals all the Nazi Zombies and restores all that is broken/destroyed.

Who needs Miraculous Ladybug?

I can with my wand attack and heal in one!

As the sun raises above South Park all is good again….

I’m detransformed, back in my Neo Queen Serenity Cosplay, and hold into Tammy’s arm.

I’m tired and outpowered by this whole fucking night we have lived.

We are with Cartman, Ranger Stan, and King Kyle at Stark Ponds.

The sun’s rays reflected beautifully on the water’s surface.

“You guys sure about this?”, asks us, Kyle.

“There's no other way.”, tells him Cartman.

“It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all.”, reminds us, Stan.

I sign.

“Do it Grand Wizard let this be the end of the Stick of Truth.”

I’m surprised Fatass listens to me, he really doesn’t can’t argue with me over that, now can he, and throws the Stick of Truth into the deeps of Stark Ponds.

To be never seen and used again.

This is for the best.

We stand in silence for a few seconds till Cartman asks: “So what do you guys wanna play now?”

“How about Dinosaur Hunters?”, suggests Stan.

“Or Pharaohs and Mummies!”, is Kyle’s idea.

“Let's ask Douchebag!”, surprisingly Cartman says. “What do you wanna play next, bitch?”

Tammy and I stare at them, then at each other, and then back to them.

“…..I think I will go to bed. I’m tired as fuck. Wanna sleepover Tammy?”

“Yes, thank you. Let’s take a bath before we go to bed. I need to wash away this fucking night.”

I nod in agreement and we girls turn to walk away.

With my back to them, I wave at the three boys.

“Bye Kyle and Stan and screw you Cartman!”

I can hear how Cartman says: “Wow. What a dick.”

“To you not to us.”

“Yeah, the Empress likes me and has admitted to having a crush on the king.”

“Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

We, girls, look at each other and shake our heads.

Boys!

Support me on Ko-Fi!

Join my Tumblr for updates and news!

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous

1 note · View note

progressgraph · 4 years ago

Link

Queendom by ProgressGraph (Paramax)

#ProgressGraph #Paramax #Women #women wrestling #wrestling #forum rpg #forumactif #graphic design #kingdom #photoshop #mickie james #renee young #world wrestling entertainment #wwe #wweedit #rp #rpg #wrestling rpg #queendom

1 note · View note

popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Amphibia Weekly Reviews: Bessie and Mircroangelo/The Third Temple “The Things We’ve Set into Motion Cannot Be Stopped”

Hello all you happy people. It’s been a long road, with an even longer road trip, but the season’s almost over: just two more weeks of Amphibia.. and with all the build up weighing down on our heroes two things are clear: this cannot end well for Anne or anyone involved, and this is going to hurt. It’s going to hurt a LOT. it’s going to be some...

... how have I not used more MST3K gifs. Questions for later. Point is with emotional pain immient, a revolution on the way this episode only ratchets up the tension.. while also sparing some time for makeover jokes and a breather episode about snail mentorships, fashion montages and giant crabs. I do love me some giant crabs. And i’ll tell you allllll about it under the cut.

Bessie and MicroAngelo:

This episode finds our heroes preparing for the third and final temple, loading up the wagon and preparing weapons, maps, potions, all that good stuff.

We end up getting two plots out of this. The first is the titular one: so Polly can help prepare, Hop Pop gives Bessie the task of watchin gher snail and certified cutie MicroAngelo, that tiny Snail who I assumed would disappear forever after his intitial apperance because that’s usually what cartoons does. But much like One Piece, Al Ewing and that owl what watches me while I sleeps, Amphibia never forgets.

It’s some Looney Tunes style shenanigans.. not the bugs or daffy, more on him later today, kind more the “Bigger more responsible party protects the smaller more vunerable or reckless one” kind you’d see eveyr so often. Tom and Jerry also really loved this. And Amphibia wears it well, with some good gags and really cute bonding and some really excellent animation on Bessie, giving the old girl plenty of life and animation. The only part I genuinely do not like is Hop Pop blaming Bessie for.. running after micro angelo afte rhe ran off. Aka doing the job you assigned her.

Someone i’m looking at. Regardless otherwise it’s just some fun, adorable slapstick with a downright precious ending. And hop pop DOES apologize.. and wish he was a cute snail. I do not have time to unpack all the implications there nor ponder what Hop Pop would look like in a snail costume. This week’s given my brain enough nightmares.

So anyway, our subplot has Marcy trying to give Anne a Makeover... and her past attempts with Sasha have been objectively horrifying so Anne is rightly scared, though the armorer who comes to help with it has a blue crab so tha’ts where all my attention. I fucking love crabs.. they just look so neat. Some see the fact a spider crab being out and about in animal crossing as horrifying. I see it as oh look at my cool terrifying crab friend. About the only crab I don’t like is this asshole.

And even then he can be VERY funny. .he’s just also an exploitative douchebag and having worked in food service, let me tell you I.. I get why Squidward is the way he is. That said Krabbyland is a masterpiece entirely because he’s such a terrible person, so it ballances out when the show’s doing it’s best.

Point is I like crabs and I like this subplot.. though mostly because it says a LOT about who Anne and Marcy are and where there at. Part of why Marcy is so gung ho about helping Anne is she figures this is her last shot to be whoever she wants to be. But really she’s just projecting: it’s been obvious since we properly met her that Marcy.. likes living HERE more than earth. On earth she’s an outcast: her hyperfixations, her tendency to babble about things she likes, her smartness... alll things that just make people turn away from her or pick on her on earth, with only two people relaly understanding and appricating her.. maybe more but we don’t know the situation with her parents yet. As someone who is a lot of those things, I get where she’s coming from.

So ending up in a world straight out of an rpg... she florished. Everything that made her life difficult at home suddenly made her florish: her skill with RPG’s meant she could blend in easily with the courtly high class of Newtopia, gave her a love of taking on missions, and allowed her to put her hyperfixation, knowledge and enthusasim to real world use, creating massive improvments in an already ritzy city. Everything that made her an outcast in our world made her a hero there. It’s why I worry about what’s to come: to both Grime and Andrias.. she’s the perfectly made pawn: too desperate to have Sasha back to see the kinfe he wants her to plant in Marcy’s, and too happy to be accepted to see the rpg convention, the benevolent ruler turning out ot be a puppet for the big bad, starring her in the face. Amphibia’s given her her freedom.. but it’s also left her very vunerable and may leave her alone.

As for Anne.. she realizes how far she’s come: from selfish and kind of distructive to selfless and self reliant.. and still kind of destructive but hey, you can’t cahnge eveyrthing about yourself. It’s why when given heavy armor.. all she needs is the core of it.. something simple to guard her but nothing too complex. She’s fine with who she is.. and it’s why she’s in the best place of the three girls. And why she’s left smack in the middle of the war to come. A war she can’t stop and that will leave her having to choose one... or do the right , hard thing and choose neither and try and free them from the bad influences they’ve embded themselves in. Either way this is going to hurt both her and the audience.

Final Thoughts: Bessie and Mircoangelo is good classic cartoon fun with a suprisingly deep subplot. Simple, but a nice pallete clensar, especially since the next episode is pretty tense and given it’s ending and eveyrthing that’s been building this season, it’s likely only going to get worse from here, so it’s nice to have a quick and breezy break before hell comes to frogtown.

The Third Temple:

Before we get to the final temple we get a flashback showing how Sasha met Anne and Marcy. The other two were playing on the swings when two big dillholes pushed them off and Sasha selflessly and fearlessly stood up to them. And promptly beat herself up more than the bullies who dodged her and eventually got so freaked out by whatever the hell this was they ran and a friendship was born. But noticably she’s a lot diffrent 7 years ago, aproximately, than she is at 13: she’s every bit as fearless and willfull.. but the compassion she once had got buried under a need for control. It’s easy to see now WHY Marcy and Anne loved her so much: she was their friend, their protector, she cared about them.. and while she never STOPPED somewhere along the way it became less about doing the right thing for the women she loves and more about getting her way.

And now the two have had time to heal from what their friend girlfriend became.. it’s time to rip that wound wide open as finally, after almost a season of waiting, Sasha reunites with Marcy for the first time and Anne for the second.

Naturally her return is in time for her gem to be charged, though our heroes unware of that didn’t seek her out before going in. This time Frobo’s riding claw though weirdly dosen’t come inside. Which is a problem with Frobo’s addition to the cast as the whole: they’ve kept him out of any episode since his induction into the family and only properly explained it once. It just dosen’t make a lot of sense to me; Yes he is massively powerful but his childlike thought process counters that. He’s easy enough to write in but is left out becasue the writers don’t want to deal with an extra character. And I had more than enough of that shit when watching Ducktales. I don’t need it when your main cast isn’t NEARLY as large or hard to juggle. It’s just galling to have spent an entire season showing he was following them, give him a whole episode.. and then just forget about him because i’ts convient. Hopefully he’ll play a bigger role as things progress and we find out where he came from because his misuse is a dark spot on an otherwise great second half of the season.

Frobo does get to prove himself useful though and open s the temple door he just weirdly dosen’t come along. But this does leave the door open for Sasha to come in as our heroes struggle with the first puzzle: Turns out this dungeon was built by a bro, seriously the temple languge is very broey and VERY hilarious contrasted with how normal for a fantasy setting the others were, as is fitting the strength gem, so our heroes have to compete feats of strength. Unfortunately this does not mean wrestling the ghost of Jerry Stiller to the ground but instead fighting some Lava Worms, and fighting just ONE of them and lifting the provided warhammers is a challenge for Anne.. and she’s the only one who can with Marcy not having enough upper body stregnth and the plantars all de-hydrated spongebob style.

So naturally Sasha ends up being their savor, easily dispatching them and getting some help from grime who while also dehydrated, is still phsycially strong enough to be of some help. Marcy is overjoyed to see her.. and is the only one. Given Marcy hasn’t been on the wrong end of Sasha and Grime like they have, it’s understandable: while Marcy’s grappled with Sasha’s actions and grip on her and Anne, it’s been clear it hasn’t hit her as hard as it has for Anne and she likely dosen’t get the full scope of it like Anne does. To her Sasha just made a mistake and she’s back now and tha’ts what matters. To Anne and the Plantars... sasha and grime tried to kill them and Sasha then tried commiting suciide to save them. The scars of that haven’t really healed for them, nor should they.

And given Sasha has spent the season clearly blamiing everything on Anne defying her and has been raising an army based on her resentment, and given she flew into a jealous blinding rage at finding her exes were fine and dandy without her she.. wholheartdly apologizes.

Yeah she apologizes.. but tellingly while she talks about her and Grime being left homeless following the battle.. she leaves out everything after: The fight with Yuan, the growing rebellion, driving her friends away, the horrifying army Grime now commands. Something’s off.

Anne naturally dosen’t trust her to do this herself and insists on coming along sitll. The next task is juts.. asking how much you lift bro, which Sasha easily passes by lifting, bro.

The final test in Jim Crunch’s Temple of Fitness, I mean who else could’ve wrote this, is of course a big fight with a giant statue of a toad, fitting how each temple so far was built by one of the civlizations: there were frog statues and symbols in the first temple, the second was guarded by a newt and the last now has a toad guard.Though curiously.. the test itself is wholly designed for a human. Before it wasn’t 100% clear even with the hyroglyps if the chosen ones had to be human or not.. but now it’s impossible to argue otherwise. There were hints : The fact the guardian pegged her as a possible chosen one on sight , the ruins in the background of the title cards which also depict the watcher with a thousand eyes (which is what i’ll be calling him till we get his, her , they or it’s actually name. ).. but here the chamber includes a gravity increase dbz style, meaning our heroines are the only ones who can stand as the Plantars and Grimes frog and toad bodies respectively aren’t strong enough to stand anymore. And while Marcy tries it ends up falling on Anne and Sasha with Sasha being Angry Anne doesn’t trust her.. and Anne not refuting it, pointing out she has EVERY REASON not to. As she puts it “it’s not just toad tower”. For most of their lives Sasha has been controlling, caring about what she wants and not what the people she loves wants. It wasn’t just the fight there... it was simply the wakeup call to how bad a person Sasha had been.

And for the first time in the episode.. Sasha is geniune, apologizing for what she did, and genuinely admitting how she treated Anne wasn’t wrong. it was something she coudln’t admit to herself episodes ago.. but faced with both loosing two more people due to her behavior, and having plenty of time to reflect on said behavhior.. she finally relaizes it’s her. Fuck man.. what else is there to say.

Oh right the giant monster thing, which Anne trusts Sasha to finish.. and we get anothe rDBZ homage as Sasha removes part of her armor, which creates a CRATER, which lowers her weight enough to fight the thing. She gets a thumbs up and the honor of recharging it.

Anne suggests opening the box.. but Marcy is VERY quick to shoot that down and suggest talking to the king. And while her reason SOUNDS good,, they don’t want to get warped somewhere ELSE at random.. it’s very clear from her actions and how quick she tried to stop it that she needs them to get to Andrias for whatever he’s talked her into. And I emphasis talked her into: Marcy trusts the king, and was in a very emotional place when he was about to talk to her at the end of season 2a... and he knew it. He knew she was at her most vunerable, most malable and trusted him completely.. and knew right then and there was his shot at getting vengance.. for him and his master. Whatever he has planned.. it’s not good. The mechancial lovecraftian horror he keeps in his creepy basement full of lost souls is a dead giveaway from that. But I don’t.. fault Marcy for it. It’s not just because I sympahtize.. to her Andrias is a good noble king trying to help her. He’s the kindly mentor she always wanted, a person who enjoys her skills dosen’t care how much she talks and has complete faith in her, something even Anne struggles with.

But it’s VERY clear, to me at least he’s been likely using her from the moment they met: to her sh’es just an optomistic pawn, someone gullible enough to do whatever he says. I’ve always felt that her “missions” probably had some darker purpose she wasn’t aware of: getting Andrias things he needs for his army, an army she has no idea is opressing people. She’s insulated from that and instead surronded by adoring people who accept her for once. Even going to wartwood, she hasn’t yet made the connection between the toad towers and what their purpose is. I think deep down she might suspect this stuff.. but she can’t ACCEPT that the one person who every had nothing but faith in her.. is a horrible person who opresses others and somehow has even WORSE plans in store.

Sasha likewise is facing the pressure of her parental figure.. while her patching it up with Anne was legitmate... her and Grime’s own plans rely on getting in there and Grime simply sees the other two as pawns , and just like the king he wants he wants to overthrow, their use expires once his plans in motion.

But the thing is.. it’s clear despite assuring Grime she’s still all in.. her face in the last shot, as seen above.. says otherwise. Her apology was legitmate, not just an attempt to get close to the one thing in her way of power, but what she’s come to realize: she’s gone from blaming Anne for it.. to realizing it was her. But she’s also stuck: while Marcy is unaware of the strings her pupeteer is pulling her towards.. Sasha is all too aware of what her mentor is planning. And the thing was she was all too willing to go for it. She blamed Anne for what happened at the tower, blamed Anne for turning marcy against her and blamed the plantars and co for turning anne against her. But in the harsh light of day... none of that’s true. Marcy dosen’t hate her, neither does anne, they didn’t turn against her.. they were just tired of her shitty behavior and wanted the friend they found that day on the playground back, the woman they loved who’d go to hell and back for someone and not the bitter, manipultive person she became. She’s once again realized it was her fault.. the question is if that’s enough for her to do the right thing or not. And the hardest question of all is IF not reblling isn’t the right thing. Wfhile the Toad’s probably shoudln’t be in charge either, Andrias REALLY shouldn’t. There’s NO easy answers here, no happy outcome that makes everyone live’s better. There’s no easy way out, no shortcut home.. just the louder and louder drumbeats of war and one girl’s decision of whose side she’s going to take.

Final Thoughts on the Third Temple: As with the other four sasha episodes thus far, this was frogging brilliant. Shoudln’t be a suprise and it makes me both look forward and dread the war to come

Next Week: The plantars try to bury the hatchet with Sasha and Grime, the girls enter a battle of the bands, and the finale comes ever closer.

If you liked this review follow me for more, and join my patreon. At just 2 dollars a month you get acess to my discord, exclusive reviews, and get me closer to my stretch goals. See you at the next rainbow

#amphibia #the third temple #bessie and microangelo #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #bessie amphibia #microangelo #hopidiah plantar #sprig plantar #polly plantar #bro

21 notes · View notes

mayhempro · 2 years ago

Text

oh, the weather outside is 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔣𝔲𝔩

MAYHEM PRO is a discord-based, kayfabe e-fed, where the members write their own matches and promos, develop their characters, win championships, build friendships, and tell their story in and out of the ring. Whether you’re new to the community, or you’ve been here for far too long, we’d love to have you here! Right now may be the perfect time to join as we're only a few weeks away from our next Pay Per View event, State of Emergency , and we'll be hosting our annual End of Year Awards event very soon, so you'll get to catch up on everything youve missed! If you have any questions, comments, or are interested in joining but don’t know how, feel free to drop something in the inbox or send us a message!

Beginning TODAY (12/19) and lasting until the New Year, ALL writing samples will be WAIVED!

our most wanted: wardlow, the young bucks, adam page, bryan danielson, jamie hayter, ruby soho, britt baker, julia hart, kevin blackwood, the acclaimed, ricky starks, hikaru shida, utami hayashishita, powerhouse hobbs, emi sakura, claudio castagnoli, darby allin, liv morgan, yuka sakazaki, maki itoh, chuck taylor, sami zayn, kevin owens, kris statlander, kiera hogan, konosuke takeshita, dakota kai, abadon, lee moriarty, athena, nyla rose, thunder rosa, kidd bandit, and willow nightingale!

3 notes · View notes

whumpster-fire · 3 years ago

Text

Trivia Fun Facts

Defenestrating Sphere has been voted the Best Dungeons and Dragons Spell for sixteen consecutive years since its publication in 2004 by the Royal Society For Yeeting Your Bitch Ass Out Of A Fucking Window, which is the greatest number of consecutive wins of this award for any spell published in a D&D splatbook by nine years, and the most awarded spell in the game overall by four years with the runner-up being Telekinesis (although Telekinesis has more total wins due to its being in the game for longer - it was already published at the founding of the Royal Society For Yeeting Your Bitch Ass Out Of A Fucking Window in 1983.

The American Your-Bitch-Ass-Out-Of-A-Window-Yeeting Association predates Dungeons and Dragons, but has only given awards for tabletop RPG spells since 2006. Defenestrating Sphere has won every single year in America, except for 2016 and 2008. In 2016 the award was given to Bigby’s Grasping Hand in a close vote, with the prevailing opinion being “come on, it’s just too easy, man.” The resulting riots nearly led to the AYBAOOAWYA’s collapse, and over twelve members were killed, most by the obvious cause but one by gunshot wounds. In 2008 the award was given to Hurl Through Hell. However, this was no longer valid in 2010 with the resolution to no longer consider D&D 4th Edition a Dungeons And Dragons Game, resulting in the award being moved to the new “Best Spell From A Tabletop Imitation Of A MMORPG” category, later renamed the “Best D&D 4th Edition Spell” in 2013. Hurl Through Hell has won this award every year since its inception. The 2008 “Best Dungeons And Dragons Spell” award was reinstated in 2014 after the release of D&D 5e and the inclusion of Hurl Through Hell, but was later rescinded in 2018 when somebody pointed out that Hurl Through Hell is a class feature and not a spell in 5e.

The AYBAOOAWYA currently does not recognize a winner for Best D&D Spell in 2008. The Czech Defenestration Society is the oldest and ninth-most prestigious recreational defenestration organization, established in 1419. However, to date CDS Windowlords have refused to add roleplaying games as an awards category, on the basis that it would detract from their reputation. This is hard to argue, as a photo of Lake Prague, once the site of a medieval Czech city that was hurled through a window-shaped dimensional portal by CDS mages on multiple occasions, clearly demonstrates the society’s power. After its third defenestration in 1618 which resulted in Prague falling over 17 miles (27358.8 meters), the city was never rebuilt and the crater was allowed to fill with water, though there are several villages surrounding the lake, as well as several villages that now lie at the bottom of the lake after being flung through a 400-meter tall iron window purpose-built by the CDS. Sadly this window was destroyed by Nazi bombing campaigns during WWII as retaliation for the 1939 Defenestration of Wolfenbüttel . Nevertheless the foundations of the great window, and the lake as a whole, have been designated a world heritage site by UNESCDO, the United Nations Cultural, Scientific, Cultural, and Defenestration Organization, and tourism has replaced fishing as the dominant industry in the area.

But this atrocity did not deter the CDS, and over the course of the war the Czechs proceeded to defenestrate several other German settlements including Cloppenburg, Dingolfing, and Bad Mergentheim (Good Mergentheim fifteen kilometers to the South was also leveled in an unrelated attack by the Budapest Pyromancy club. Sorta Okay Mergentheim still stands to this day, although it has been depopulated since 1971 due to the actions of the Slovenian Necromancer’s Guild), as well as Lubbock Texas, which was sadly confused with Lübeck, Germany (Which was sunk into the sea in 1955 by the Liverpool Cult of Neptune), and Ipswich, which was destroyed just for the fun of it. Luckily for the allies, the CDS was finally brought to its knees with the 1942 defeat of most of its Council of Archdefenestrators by Defenestrierungsmeister Hans Von Liechenberg, also known by his post-war professional wrestling stage name Hurl-It-Out Hans, using his signature finishing move, Defenestrierenkugel (roughly translates as: Defenestrating Sphere). Hurl-It-Out Hans was the third most popular defenestration-themed professional wrestler of all time, after Max Pane, and The Undertaker, best known for the 1998 match where he threw Mankind out the window of Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

However, while the Czech Defenestration Society has the most total destroyed cities to its record, the largest individual city to be defenestrated was San Antonion in 1993 by the Texas-based biker gang known as Yeet-Haw. A 2008 attempt by the CDS to overturn this record by defenestrating Hamburg ended in tragedy when Hamburg, Arkansas was accidentally defenestrated instead of Hamburg, Germany. After major public outcry, the CDS’s Senior Geography Officer Pepik Otradovec was ejected via the 14th-story window of the organization’s headquarters in Hradec.

This was also the same year that American Your-Bitch-Ass-Out-Of-A-Window-Yeeting Association retroactively failed to crown a Best Dungeons and Dragons Spell winner. As a result of these two incidents 2008 has been voted the Worst Year In History by the Royal Society For Yeeting Your Bitch Ass Out Of A Fucking Window five times, the third-most wins of any year. It is tied for third place with AD 79, when both Pompeii and Herculineum were destroyed by a volcanic eruption without windows being involved at all. In second place is 1965, when the Chicago Municipal Building Code briefly banned windows. This ban was quickly overturned due the entire committee responsible being hurled out of an existing window which had been grandfathered in and was not affected by the ban. In first place is 1903, the year when impact-resistant windowpanes for high-rises were invented.

1903, coincidentally, is also exactly 173 times the number of votes by which Bigby’s Grasping Hand won in 2016. But even more impressive is that 2016 happens equal the height in feet of the current world record for Highest Purely Architectural Defenestration in the Women’s Category by use of a rolling chair, set by Agnes Bilchmoitner of Lincoln, Nebraska (Defenestrator) and the late Joe Rusell Bracegirdle Junior (Defenestratee) of Schaumburg, Illinois, off the 137th floor of the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which shattered not only the previous record but also the impact-resistant glass in use on the tower, although the record would have been higher if the structure had not been built with lower roofs which interrupted Mr. Bracegirdle’s fall against the recommendation of the American Your-Bitch-Ass-Out-Of-A-Window-Yeeting Association. Regardless, the floor number this record was set from with the last two digits reversed is equal to the ratio of the calendar year which was voted the Worst Year of All Time by the RSFYYBAOOAFW to the margin of victory for Bigby’s Grasping Hand, and the last two digits of the year when Bigby’s Grasping Hand won Best D&D Spell is the same as the distance in feet that the Undertaker threw Mankind out the window of Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table. This took place in 1998, which is not only the best version of Windows Operating System according to the AYBAOOAWYA, but is also equal to the current height in feet of the world record for Highest Magically-Assisted Purely Architectural Defenestration By A Minor, set by 16-year-old Brian Woolworth in 2004, which is when the D&D 3.5 edition Complete Arcana was published, including the spell Defenestrating Sphere, and Brian’s age when he set the record is equal to the number of consecutive years Defenestrating Sphere has been voted the Best Dungeons and Dragons spell by the RSFYYBAOOAFW.

And that, according to the Czech Defenestration Society’s 2021 annual awards ceremony, is the Greatest Defenestration Trivia Fact of the year.

#shitpost #high-effort shitpost #defenestrating sphere #defenestration #the defenestration of prague #war crimes content warning #defenestration content warning #destruction of historic defenestration-related monuments content warning #Lubbock Texas mention content warning #Hell in A Cell Pasta warning #awful content #Dungeons and Dragons Fandom #History #trivia #pseudo-fiction #my hideous sense of humor

2 notes · View notes

duhragonball · 4 years ago

Note

Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming. Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing. I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball. Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea. In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched. In tournaments, he always loses in the first round. He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg. Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die. Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc. In the Buu Sagas he was retired. In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more. Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example. It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint. There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them. But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other. It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all. Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening. I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout. And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime. King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku. So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate. But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man. And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.

So why doesn’t that get more attention? You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story. He’s a supporting character. So the franchise itself tends to play it down. Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously. I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure. They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

youtube

The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series. Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore. But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history. What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win. As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success. But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart. Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially. I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who. In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre. Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit. He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky. He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been. But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on. Does anyone really buy that? Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline. Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

youtube

Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss. You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video. This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!” Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic. Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg. And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar! I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair. This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look. It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right.

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest. Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that. He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games. Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits.

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku. Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship. The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series. When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself. On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters. And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content. Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm. I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah. That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

#ask duhragonball #dragon ball #yamcha #yamucha #Anonymous

16 notes · View notes

unabashedrebel · 5 years ago

Text

Top 10 Characters

In no particular order

1) Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) Can I just say that I love how the reboots, both the movie and the new trilogy of games were phenomenal as a long time fan of this character? They did her right. They focused on her origins, how she came to be this mythic Tomb Raider who delves into the greatest mysteries of the world while fighting against an evil Illuminati type organization.

But she always has tenacity. She always has grit. She’s not always sure of herself, or her abilities, but still continues to do it anyways because it’s the right thing to do. Not to mention I love the whole cultured rich girl who gets her hands dirty literally all the time. I’ve loved everything about her characterization in the last few years.

2) Really the entire FF7 cast but; Tifa Lockhart (FF7) Is anyone actually surprised by this one? Look at my blog. It’s pretty Tifa-rific lately. Honestly I have no good excuse for this, I can’t actually trace back what the reason was that started me on really liking her character. Basically because she’s been my video game wife since I was about 10 years old.

I guess, if I really thought about it, I enjoy her realness. She’s an optimist but not fully in your face about it, she promotes kindness, she’s the mom friend. Always looking out for everyone else at the expense of herself. They’re traits that I really admire in people, and you know what? It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that maybe those feelings were in part brought on by a video game character from my childhood. Not only that but I’ve always loved the story thread with her about the conflict she faces in doing what she believes is the right thing, and the fallout that ensues.

Not only that but she’s a fucking badass.

3) Spider-Man (Peter Parker, Marvel) Shout to to the most relatable super-hero ever created. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Spider-man is a staple of New York, even if he’s fictional. He’s just... boiled down to that essence of a Queens kid. It’s amazing as someone from around this area.

But seriously, I think I like Peter the most because he really is relatable. He really does worry about the same things I find myself worrying about. He really does shoot out quips like that’s his super power. He really does try and do whats right regardless of what others think. He’s conflicted, he’s unsure of himself, he’s been granted this great power and feels the need to go out and help people with it, and again at great personal expense. He’s, to me? What a hero should be.

I guess I like him so much because I see a lot of myself in him. I can relate and put myself in those shoes. I can relate my experiences to his, and i’m not talking about getting bit by a radioactive spider. I’m talking about the human side to Peter Parker. His stresses when he’s out of the tights.

4) Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher, and again I love all the characters Geralts just tops. Ciri was a close second.) Yeah, yeah call me out and say ‘someone just binged’. YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DID FOR THE SECOND TIME YOU CANT STOP ME.

Seriously though. For a character who does not like being social? Geralt is so beautifully written for. Fun fact, I haven’t actually played the games save for the half way through 2 and the intro to 3. But I read the first novel and I’m working my way through the second, and Geralt? He’s a man of few words. But when he does speak? Everybody fucking listens.

5) Kassandra (AC: Odyssey) Uhhhh, first women to win the wrestling Olympics? How could I not.

As a long time fan of Assassins Creed and the wonderfully written characters that I have been lucky enough to get to know as protagonists? Kassandra takes the cake. She was blunt, sassy, smart, and took nobodies shit. Forever has she branded the word Misthios in my head with that Greek twang. To the point where I get excited when I hear it.

Maybe it was a mix of being in the Ancient Greek world with her, another one of my favorites. But there was just something about her character that stuck out to me. Something I haven’t seen in their writing since Ezio.

6) Joel (The Last of Us) How the fuck could I not love the gruff and sad dad?

Dude the characters in this game were so insanely well done. Like you could literally tell that, besides the fact that it was an amazingly fun game? The dev team TRULY cared about the story, the reception, and the buildup.

Lets be real. That first scene with him when everything starts is about as heartbreaking as it comes. It sets you up to really accept that this man has lost everything, that he no longer cares about anything but survival, because he’s already learned that when you care? Those things can be easily taken away.

He’s cold. He’s quick. He’s capable. He’s ignorant to everyone else. Right up until he meets Ellie and that little girl begins to peel back the layers and show that Joel, under it all, is actually a pretty good guy who has been dealing with his trauma by building up walls.

All and all? I would recommend anyone playing this game just to see the transition of Joel. Ellie, as well, by no small measure. But Joel’s growth was one of my favorite things to ever watch unfold in a game.

7) Revan (Star Wars) Okay so I know this ones a bit obscure. He was actually featured as a protagonist of one of Star War, in my opinion, best roleplaying games.

Basically I love this character because I think he actually GETS the whole thing. The cults. He doesn’t really subscribe to either of them, rather he’s used them to further his own goals. Which you know, as an RPG you get to chose, usually I like to chose he did what he did for the right reasons. Because the Jedi were failing the people they had to protect. Because he couldn’t stand by and watch a war be fought while they deliberated what to do. He never fully reasoned with the Sith, and as far as I knew didn’t quite care to share their extremist values. Frankly, he’s by far been the best representation to what I feel is a very opinionated debate in Star Wars: Why chose either side? They both suck in their own ways.

He saw passed all that, started a movement, started a war of ideologies when the universe was still young enough to hear those kinds of debates play out.

His story will forever be one of my absolute favorites in Star Wars.

8) Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars) If you haven’t watched the Clone Wars animated series and you’re a fan of Star Wars? What the fuck are you doing. This character alone is enough to justify the 7 season watch.

The Padawan of Anakin Skywalker. How can that go wrong, right? Actually, Ahsoka is one of the reasons I began to like Anakin in the first place. The whole series shows a different side to characters we love, honestly, you got to see Anakin be the best Jedi general anyone had ever seen. You got to see him train this young woman into an incredible Jedi, and honestly? The younger sister relationship that Ahsoka has with Anakin is just so well done.

But beyond that there’s so much to love about Ahsoka. If you haven’t caught the theme, I really do love strong characters who still have flaws. Who still have a lot to learn. Who make mistakes. But even after she had, never once did Ahsoka give up on what she believed in. Her values, in the end, proving to be stronger to her then the values instilled by the Jedi, even if they aligned.

My favorite thing is that you got to see her journey, literally from a learning padawan to a fully fledged Jedi badass.

If we don’t get an Ahsoka series on Disney+ I’m gonna be pissed.

9) Nathan Drake (Uncharted) Cheeky rogue with a heart of gold that often gets by on sheer luck alone.

Need I say more?

10) Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer) Okay, so don’t really expect many people to know this one.This character is the main protagonist in an anime that has literally taken all my attention. From the animation, to the story, to the undeniable ways in inspires me to write Sori.

Tanjiro, perhaps, is the driving force behind this. I just love this kid okay? He started out as NOTHING. Literally, nothing. He fought against overwhelming odds, knowing full well he would die, to save his sister. And in that moment? The person he was fighting let him go. He then sent him down the path of becoming a demon slayer.

This kid, who as far as I know was part of a large family of commoners gave everything he had to training his body to fight demons. Every time he stumbled, he found the strength to continue. He never gives up. He learns, he thinks, he’s a smart kid with this absolute bottomless well of determination.

I don’t want to ruin the plot of the anime too much because honestly this has been my favorite thing since Dragonball Super. You should go watch it. I promise you will understand right off the bat why I love this character so much.

I was tagged by: @serelia-evensong @safrona-shadowsun

Gonna tag: @draenei-tales @wildname @zeehva @ravensteel @fair-fae @monster-of-master @palaceofthedeadmemes @zariasilverleaf @starforger @asharinhun

I’m also not sorry this is a long post. How dare you ask me to talk about shit I love.

21 notes · View notes

littlemeangreen · 4 years ago

Note

Since you like my alt-Marauders (WHICH IM SO HAPPY FOR) how about challenge for headcanons of them interacting with the Smashers, as allies or foes or just a chance encounter? No need to, I just thought it might be something you'd have fun with!

@thecorteztwins k I'm suddenly in a big writing mood so!! FINALLY getting around to this I'm so sorry sksksk

For anyone who doesn't know: Thecorteztwins has an amazing au where she's collected Haven (thicc angel lady who was possessed by a demon disguised as a baby), Claudine (Miss Sinister),Madelyne (clone of Jean Grey), Pyro, Sebastian Shaw, Shinobi Shaw and sometimes Alice (a clone being tested by Claudine)!

I feel like the first few days are really testy. Everyone's got some bone to pick, the usual. But the biggest thing? The name. A brief encounter with paparazzi ends with their name and the reactions go from Pyro and Claudine scoffing at how silly it sounds and what a rip off it is (Pyro being a writer?? U KNOW he wouldn't stand for Alt Marauders) to Shaw sighing about the fact that he's been stuck on a team with a cliche super nickname.

Then there's personal names because once again, Pryo and Shinobi both agree that everyone needs a name to reapply make them unique! Hardly anyone goes for it, ranging from Haven's soft "no thank you" to Shaw punting Pyro into a wall. Madelyne is slightly soft for Pyro's RPG themed alias ideas for her and less than impressed for Shinobi's idea of "Mad Milf".

Alice....I'm definitely thinking she gets nicknamed "White Rabbit" or "Wonderland" because; 1) no one can leave her out of getting a name. 2) Pyro 100% would give a cheesy media related name and 3) I like the very small connections of white rabbit to the white and red queens in Alice in Wonderland (and 4) rabbits always get experimented on :).

Gamma Gals having amazing duos with the ladies of the Marauders? Absolutely!!

Jen and Haven, being an amazing duo and I feel like they'd be the two who would have that issue where they're the only ones who can save the day and end up learning a lot from each other? Haven is probably thanking her stars that she finally gets to meet a hero who believes in her kindness just as much as she does (S H A W).

Just....Haven being able to meet an even bigger woman and trading stories and being GalPals(TM). Its a really interesting concept to me that Haven is someone who was deliberately used to destroy and Jen is someone who's entire identity is formed around smashing and destruction. It's probably rather cathartic to be working with someone who purely doesn't want to resort to violence immediately and who has been used (Haven by her demon and Jen by different people).

But also learning something from each other? Haven being able to see that sometimes you do need to fight for what you love and Haven proves to Jen that even after all this time, it isn't the muscle or power that can save everything, it's her and her drive and will alone. Catch Red and Shaw scoffing about it.

Speaking of, those two could either REALLY clash or really get along, no imbetweens. Have we found another old man for Shaw to wrestle with, Roman style??? (Ngl that would be hot in a sick way)

Skaar and Shinobi? Both long haired, beautiful, sons of big figures, grew up in abusive environments,,,,its a duo. Just put Shinobi into a mini team with Skaar and Daken and we have the "Black haired brood squad"

Rick and Pyro working together to have a joint production??? FIrebomb productions baby!! My podcast ideas? Absolutely would happen when you combine these two and its hell. Aka; Rick and Pyro gossip on their podcast and give advice to starting heroes as immortals and smack talk. But also outside of that I imagine they can get along a lot in the "had a hard time accepting stuff" and "we were heroes who often did a lot for others and got disregarded and hurt for it".

Pyro: Hey if I set you on fire can you become a flaming bowling ball

Rick: well let's fine out!!

Red and Shaw....there's a lot there. Both are old men who have been pressed on in their lives and affected by masculine presences in their lives...both are regarded as awful shitbags but they're both MUCH more complex and driven by a need for power and stability...lots of thoughts here.

Shaw and Red are one team you do NOT wanna mess with because two old men who are perfectly willing to do what's needed? Red can respect a man willing to get his hands dirty with clear means and Shaw can probably like a guy who has the drive to do what he believes is the better good. Also big hulk man who can give you endless power.

But also differences in them because Shaw abused and continues to abuse Shinobi while Red neglected and most likely emotionally abused Betty but it seemingly trying to make a difference in it now that she's come back? I feel like these two probably have a SUPER in depth conversation when forced to or alone and then never speak about it again.

Spending of Betty! Her and Madelyne?? What a DUO they're litreally a great mix because Maddie is a clone of Jean, Betty was assumed to be a clone at first and often has to suffer being the "domintrix" she hulk. Both have serious issues with their mental health and identities as well as dealing with their lives being ruled or devoted to men who ruin them. Both want freedom and have such passion! I just....so much to say about these two and the similarities. They're both red.

But yeah Phoenix and Harpy?? Skksks Maddie voice: I'm FIRE HARPY nOW

Am I still yelling for her hero name to be Griffin because of how mystical they are and being a bird and lion??? Yeah.

Also sad thoughts but,,,gals talking about their lost kids (Maddie with Nate and Betty suffered a miscarriage induced from stress), the stress of their lovers and who they've lost to (Jean, Emma, Caiera, Jarella,,,) and being manipulated by men for their power (Maddie by Sinister into Goblyn queen and Betty by Leader into Red She-hulk, Harpy, both died).

Anyway point is I can fully see them two just CLICKING or fighting a lot at first until someone points out just how similar they are. Then? Maddie and Betty out here being the brand new Thelma and Louise. Red and Black styles, willing to use force but protect the innocent, both take Alice and this cute kid that Betty absolutely mother henned in her run and,,,two moms and their talented daughters pls step out the way sir.

Tbh I don't think I have much for Samuel apart form him having a small crush on Claudine (and like,,,,not in That Sense, but Samuel does have a big history of falling for smart women or just...OP women). And then a series of gags where Haven wants to know him because he's like Shaw but also incredibly different in thinking and everytime she walks into the room,,,,Samuel is doing some horrific experiment and she just NOPES OUT. Shaw wants to make use of this but it goes horribly wrong oh God why did he try.

Lyra! I just....feel like there could be a lot for her and Claudine and Alice. Lyra was genetically engineered to be used in a war and was bullied relentlessly for being "half man" which...is rather transphobic and sexist but that's her storyline and it's too deeply embedded for me to headcanon over it so...sighs.

But yeah!!! Lyra taking Alice and giving her a night of being able to just....be whoever that night, not being pressured to have an identity of the sorts from anyone and just being able to fight people with a giant green woman. Probably has a lot of deep talks later that night with Lyra, sitting over a building and eating ice cream because it was one of the first things Bruce shared with her and a first realisation that Lyra could be more than someone's daughter.

100% would picture this with Carmilla (Lyra's sister and...also messy kinda clone) or Laura Kinney hopping along and!! Clone weapon woman team!! I could GET INTO this!!! Just...pls marvel give me a team of women overcoming abuse and forming identities among each other and cool women,,,,

But also Lyra admittedly would respect Claudine for her skills and her...tenacity? Yeah, that. She has strength and guts and Lyra probably actually tells her that she'd rather get experimented on by Miss Sinister than some pig of a man and Claudine just "thhhanks?"

Hulk,,,,funny enough I don't think I have many ideas for him yet? Probably gets into a fair few fights with Shaw and Haven over different stuff, Maddie has a bome to pick for Betty,,,I am,,,blank.

I feel like a lot of things for him would be Haven trying to break through into him, maybe each of the Marauders dealing with different parts of the system? I can imagine Shinobi and Pyro don't have a high opinion of the oversized dad until Bruce turns super ashen pale and immediately Joe starts yelling for some whisky and GIRLS....and a fella or two for matchstick and ghost baby here.

Maddie thinking that he's another Scott and then finding out that Hulk's thing is more complicated than Scott simply looking for Jean again. Also Maddie demands that she will forcefully adopt Hulk's kids and these two bonding over abusive dads???

But uh,,,that's about it!! Hope you liked it!!! I probably could easily delve into more thoughts if there's anything specific for me to set my mind on.

9 notes · View notes