#woman was like 40

[lokilickedme]

Filed under: Shit I Had To See With My Own Eyes Today

A middle aged woman rode up to my yard sale this morning on a bicycle.  Not a mountain bike - a kid’s BMX bike.  Full-on Karen hairdo, dangly earrings, high heeled sneakers, shoulder bag.  Rode over to the vacuum cleaner I had sitting near the sidewalk with a $25 price tag on it, grabbed it by the handle neck, picked it up, and rode off with it.  Never glanced at anything else, never looked toward the house to see if anyone would see her, never indicated in any way that she even cared if anyone saw her.

Straight up STOLE MY VACUUM CLEANER ON A BICYCLE AND RODE OFF

I’m sure the cops are laughing their asses off watching the security cam video I sent them.

Who does shit like this??

[valc0]

Rogue is Jack

Rogue is the Master

Rogue is a pre-Hartnell doctor

[shalomniscient]

maybe hot take but i do think it’s entirely possible to romance arlecchino even if you didn’t know her before clervie died, it’ll just take a really, really long time. the slow burn of the century, even. obviously there are things you have to be, like an ally to the house and a fatui member, but beyond that it’s really just a waiting game. it’s the progression from colleague to ally to trusted confidant before she would consider even looking at you platonically. and then maybe years of being just friends, at least to her, before she realises that maybe what she feels for you at this point goes beyond the bounds of friendship.

of course, when she realises this, she vanishes off the face of teyvat for a good month or so to go on a nice emotional crisis bender. maybe she even deploys you to some other corner of the continent to very pointedly avoid your presence because uh oh, feelings, and she has 0 clue what to do. sucks to be her, though, because she is also very pointedly miserable without your company. not in super obvious way—it’s arlecchino—but her kids and subordinates will notice that she’s slightly… off. always looking to her side where you’re supposed to be, but aren’t. it takes her a while and maybe a trip to that old broken arena, looking out at the vast sea before she finally reconciles her feelings with herself.

she loves you. not the same way she loved clervie, never the same way—but she loves you.

when she calls you back to her side she most certainly does not breathe a word of this to you. and it’ll take her even more time to do that step, carefully assessing your every action and reaction. she asks the children about you more, and they share knowing glances. your likes, dislikes. hobbies and even guilty pleasures. she almost unconsciously starts to court you, but plays it off as fortunate coincidences.

the director of this new play at the epiclese happened to give me two tickets for free. care to join me?

there’s a new item on the menu at hotel debord. i intend to try it; i believe some of the children may enjoy such things. however, a second opinion would also be valuable. shall we?

(the fact that the play is a romance one and the menu item is a couples’ special is a fact she conveniently avoids bringing up.)

i imagine she’d confess eventually in a surprisingly casual way. maybe you’re both standing on the shore, watching the sunset. the both of you talk about unimportant things, but it’s only with you that arlecchino wants to indulge in these unimportant things, if only to hear the sound of your voice. she’d say the words under the light of the pale moon, always having been more comfortable under the silver light than that of the sun’s. she won’t say the words outright, no i-love-yous, but something just enough.

you are valuable to me, she’ll say, watching the waves roll, as if simply stating another unimportant thing. but her body betrays her, the subtle tense of her shoulders and the way her fingers twitch by her sides. you are not expendable.

it’s fine, though, because you’ve known her long enough to know what she means. and when she finally kisses you for the first time it’s with the slightest hint of hesitance and uncertainty, but there is a sincerity in her that you could not deny if you tried. that night you walk back to the house with your arm looped in hers, and as she watches you watch the world she thinks she could never go back to the one she had before you.

[scneie]

when girls my age say they like older guys and they say ages 18-25 im like.. oh ..

[notbecauseofvictories]

very strongly feel that moist/adora is the only actual romantic relationship terry pratchett ever wrote.

[paanzermensch]

Really wanted to draw these three

[nachosforfree]

So many of my friends are trans/genderqueer that when I mention a friend to my mom one of her first questions is usually "are they they-them?" Or "did that person used to be a girl/boy?"

[pragainfernal]

some homestuck picmix gifs! + a june egbert sprite edit!

[painfullyprickedandticked]

i dont think striker and alastor are characters who are "precious senpais who did nothing wrong" i just don't think they're as reprehensible as valentino or stella. their actions aren't excusable, no, but they aren't near that level of abhorrent.

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

Ok do the thousands of Bethyl shippers realize it means they're headcanoning Daryl as a pedophile or

[nicholasmoorethetwittermigrant]

There’s something very funny about Doctor Who suggesting that tumblr will be outdated by 3, maybe 4 generations come 2049.

[rileys-battlecats]

PSA, keep your dog on a leash when you're in a public, unfenced area. dedicated to the lady that just tried to reassure me, "no she's nice! put your dog down! she's nice!" babe i believe you when you say your dog is nice. what you have not considered is that the dog I am holding is NOT nice and WILL attempt to attack your dog if I put him down. also we are RIGHT next to a busy road and there is Nothing stopping your dog from running into traffic. pls put her on a leash im literally begging you it is SO dangerous for her to not be on a leash here

[cherryaire]

[nyaagolor]

Story time. So I was gifted general admission standing tickets to a Taylor Swift concert and imma be real with yall, I have been to many outdoor / floor seat / standing concerts before and I have never been this battered before in my life. These women were fully ready to kick the shit out of me for an opportunity to get six inches closer to the stage with a ferocity I have genuinely never seen before. I have very curly hair and the amount of women who pulled on it so they could move past me or got their jewelry stuck in it while dancing and yanked it out (my hair with it) is actually fucking insane. I came home from that concert with bruises, a chunk of hair missing, and a fear of swifties stronger than my fear of god

[letoscrawls]

Every episode featuring rogue and gambit has gambit somehow ending up in a situation where his loyalty to the team is questioned and everyone is so quick to jump him ESPECIALLY rogue and then the second he proves he's actually innocent she's like of course!!!! A knew it!!! My gambit would never do that!!!!! GIRL PLEASE HFJSJDJSJ they are so unserious

[allsketchesnononsense]

It was an

itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini

that she wore for the last time today