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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years ago

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Vicious

Part IX

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1574.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

________

You didn't know what else to say, feeling ashamed. Who cared about your family circumstances? Definitely not Steve Rogers, a man you met just a couple of weeks ago and who knew nothing about you. Why did you say something like that in the first place?

You didn't wanna look at his face and see him feeling guilty because he didn't know how to comfort you. You didn't need to be comforted. You didn't need anything at all. It was just a simple cold, right?

Despite that, you suddenly started talking from beneath your blankets, "I have a younger brother. When he was born, we found out he was having severe asthma. His childhood was terrible, he had constantly been sick, I remember him being in and out the hospital all the time. Of course, because of his condition, my parents spent most of the time with him. He was just a little sick kid."

You hated yourself for talking, for showing something to Steve he shouldn't have known because he wasn't your friend, but you couldn't force yourself to stop.

"On the other hand, I am lucky to have good health. I didn't really got very sick, so, well, I didn't need help like my brother. So, I'm used to taking of myself. I'm a big girl, I don't need my mom to dance around me just because I have a cold."

Of course, you didn’t. You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, and even of Steve didn't show up, you'd be alright by yourself. You'd just take your acetaminophen, and then everything would be ok.

You kept silent, staring at the inside of the blanket and wishing Steve would just disappear, leaving you to your misery. You didn’t see his face, and you were glad you didn't. What he must think about you? That you were craving for his attention like a spoiled kid? Shit, it was so embarrassing. You were an adult, for goodness sake!

"I don't know about you, but when I had a flu sachet, it would make me fall asleep really quick. And when I was feeling sleepy, I would start thinking about the things I loved most because I hoped I would see them in a dream." Instead of feeling ever more ashamed, you listened to Steve's soft voice and thought you were lucky it was him being here with you now. "It actually worked, and I have been having my best dreams when I was asleep, sick. What are the things you love most?"

Surprised, you looked up at him and saw the most gentle expression on a face of a guy you had ever met. Why did he look at you like that? Why was there no pity on his face? Why was it making you cry like you were a ten year old kid? Before he could see anything, you hid beneath the blanket again and kept silent for a couple of moments to calm down.

"I love lemon pies my grandma used to make me, and her garden. She had tomatoes and cabbage and strawberries that smelled like summer. I loved watering them nearly every day because I thought I was a little forest witch who lived in her pretty cottage in the woods."

You didn't know why you were telling him this, but Steve has a strange effect on you. Or was it cold? You had no idea, but it didn’t really matter. All you were thinking about was the way fresh tomatoes smell when you'd leaned down to water them, and the sound of bees flying above strawberry's flowers. Your grandma was taking care of her cabbage - a very capricious guest in her garden - and you could hear her working, cursing grandpa for making the patches too wide in that funny voice of hers. Then she'd stood up, wiped the sweat with the back of her hand, and called you to come back to the cottage because if was time for dinner. You'd run to wash your hands in a barrel of water near the big apple tree when grandma didn't see, and soon you were sitting with her, eating her famous cabbage soup and then having a piece of a lemon pie because you worked so well today.

You could almost feel the taste on the tip of your tongue.

By the time you woke up, Steve was long gone: it was the middle of the night, and instead of him you saw a thermos with a still warm chicken soup on a chair, waiting for you. He sent you a message that you could call him at any time of the day - or night - and that he wanted you to have a bit more sleep to get better. After you had a few more sips of his soup, you fell asleep again, feeling warm and fuzzy.

_______

The weekend went fast. It was the first time in several years you spent so much time in bed. Steve kept appearing at your door from time to time with a new bags of food despite you telling him you had your own, but he always insisted you should it something fresh and warm. Surprisingly, he wasn't the only one at your door: Thor suddenly showed up with his whole team, bringing you notes for the upcoming exams they collected altogether, apparently. Loki sent you a message if you needed anything, and Peter left contacted you on Instagram, leaving you links to games you could play so you wouldn't feel bored. Even Bucky gave you a call, asking if he could come and give you a few packs of Neo Citran for your cold, but you kindly refused: Steve literally brought you a yearly supply of this.

It was strange. Of course, when you were in high school, your friends grew worried about you when you had been sick, but there was nothing else to it. Wasn't it always like this? Nobody came to see you. Nobody brought you soup or gave you meds or anything. Despite feeling embarrassed, you realized you actually liked it when somebody was close to you like that. It was comforting seeing Steve popping up and not having to worry about how pretty you looked: he laughed when he saw you getting all shy because you were in your pyjamas. He said he definitely didn't expect you laying on your bed in an evening gown.

Before you realized it, you were already getting better. It was just a cold, really. Soon your throat was no longer sore, and while you were still sneezing, your temperature dropped down to normal, so on Monday you were ready to come back to school as planned. Funny enough, you no longer cared if you passed your exams, having 100%. You didn’t talk about it with Steve, but Peter was laughing like crazy about that when you told him.

Funny. They no longer looked so scary to you. They were just a couple of boys, weren't they? Regardless all those scary rumors and stuff, they were just guys. Maybe they were weird and stupid and a little bit scary because you didn't know them, they were still alright. Thor said it to you, didn't he?

Monday was Bucky's day, so, once you were done dressing, he nocked at your door: you were feeling a bit shy, watching him in that leather jacket and torn jeans he kept wearing the whole year around, apparently. Barnes looked like a teenage girl's dream. He smelled like cigarettes - although he said he was trying to quit - and pinewood. Just like Thor, he liked to skip classes he didn't enjoy much, but he was smart enough to pass the exams. Funny enough, he had a motorcycle.

Again, you wondered how come girls weren't coming from a city on a bus just to go see him.

"Are you sure you’re feeling better?" He asked you softly. "You can stay home today."

"No, no, I'm perfectly alright, thank you! How are you?" Smiling, you closed the door and hid the key in your bag.

"I'm good, thank you."

He didn't speak much, but as you walked in silence, you thought it was comforting - not talking at all and feeling good about it. While Bucky looked like a scary biker, in fact, his calm and friendly demeanor only helped you relax around him. Besides, it was funny how students seemed to give him way whenever they saw him, and you thought if Steve was the King, then Bucky was the Knight.

Before you went into the your classroom, he suddenly stopped you, "Listen, I wanted to say I have your stuff."

You blinked, "What stuff?"

You didn't give him any of your stuff. Actually, after Steve gathered you all in the student council room, you only met Bucky this morning for the first time.

"The stuff those freaks took. Your... your clothes, I mean." He muttered under his breath, and you gaped at him.

Your underwear. He found your bra and panties those guys took from your room.

"Wait... how?" Staring at Bucky who, apparently, was feeling a bit embarrassed talking about it, you thought how on Earth he got those things.

There was only one way he could, right?

"Bucky, was it you who beat those guys?"

It took him a couple of seconds to turn his face to you and then sigh, "Yes, it was me."

_________

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#bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #thor x reader #dark loki #loki x reader #dark thor #peter parker x reader #dark peter parker #yandere

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mlovesstories · 4 years ago

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Time is Money

Summary- YN feels ignored by her dad, Sam, so Dean, Mary, and John try to help.

Warnings: selfish Sam, cussing

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Masterlist of Masterlists

“Daddy?” YN came into Sam’s study.

“I’m busy, baby.” He flipped through some paperwork on his desk.

“But I need help with my math homework.”

“Ask Dean,” he said dismissively.

YN sighed and walked out of the room.

“Beast?” She tiredly approached her uncle. He could tell the defeat in her voice.

“What’s up, beauty?” Dean used her nickname.

“Can you help me with my homework?” YN continued looking at the floor.

“Hey,” he took his finger and lifted her chin. “No pouting. Yes. I can help you. Show me what ya got.”

After tears and frustration, YN finished her homework.

“Thank you, beast,” she hugged her uncle.

“You’ll always be my beauty. Even when you cry.” He smiled.

“I love you.”

Sam entered and was about to go to his room when he stopped and told them he was going to bed. Obviously still upset from her evening, YN sulked.

“Aren’t you going to spend time with her? She had a rough day.” Dean asked.

“So did I, and I’m exhausted.” Sam ran up the steps of the house. YN’s face fell.

“It’s okay. Let’s go relax before bedtime.” Dean stroked his thumb over her hand.

“No thanks.” YN started toward her room when Dean turned her and brought her into his body, her head hitting his ribs.

“Yes. You need to calm down before bed. Hard day.”

“Okay.”

The ten year-old snuggled into her uncle until she fell asleep. Not having school the next day, Dean didn’t wake her to go to her own bed.

“Dad?” YN slowly entered her father’s room the next morning.

“Huh?” He rolled over.

“You said we would be going to breakfast today.”

“Oh I’m sorry, sweetie.” He looked at the clock. . I need to go, thanks for waking me up. Business lunch.” Sam shooed her out of the room as he scrambled to get ready. “Bye, YN!” He yelled at her as she sat on the barstool in the kitchen with a small, bland cup of coffee.

Dean walked in with messy hair.

“Morning! I thought we talked to you about no coffee, beauty?”

“Yeah, well, he was supposed to take me to breakfast, but that didn’t work out. So I made what I knew how to.”

“Again?” Dean asked, angry at his brother. YN nodded.

“He had a business meeting and woke up late.”

“That idiot.” Dean said to himself. “Come on. I have a later shift at the shop. Bring your computer to keep yourself busy while I’m working. We’re going to breakfast.”

“It’s 11am?”

“Brunch, then. You wanna go or not?” Dean grinned.

“Can I get chocolate chip pancakes and have some hot chocolate? PLEASE, beast? I’ll be good at the shop, I promise!”

“How can I say no to you?” He sarcastically sighed.

“Yes!”

They enjoyed their time together, and she helped Dean at the shop. She loved seeing her grandpa and all the guys she had known since she was little. They spent time with her and showed her how to do things… unlike someone else she knew.

“Cher!” Benny shouted to get her attention. “You want to help me?”

Turning from her computer on the desk, her eyes lit up.

She practically ran to him.

“Has your uncle taught you about wrenches?”

“Are you kidding? First thing I learned!” YN laughed.

“Perfect. I need to go under the car. Can you hand them to me?”

“If i can go under the car too!”

“We’ll see…” Benny rolled his eyes.

“Sweet! Yes!”

“Why did you take her to the garage?” Sam grilled his brother when he got home that night.

“You didn’t tell us you had a meeting and I had work so I had to take her! I can’t leave the kid at home, you know that. Besides, she had a great time like she always does. Dad and Benny were there, what are you so afraid of?”

“Beast?” YN barreled down the stairs. “Can you-“

“I was talking to your uncle.” Sam interrupted her. “You came in the middle of our conversation without even asking if we were talking.”

“Sorry, Dad. I didn’t know you were home. Never mind.”

“What do you need? You might as well say it now.” Her father rolled his eyes.

“I was going to ask Dean if he wanted to throw the football with me…” she was almost in tears from her dad’s cross attitude.

“He can’t.” Sam growled.

YN looked to her uncle, confused.

“It’s okay, pretty girl. Go brush your teeth and then we can. Promise.” He smiled.

She raced off to do as he asked.

“YN listens to you.”

“Well, yeah.” Dean said sarcastically. “I’m awesome.”

“Whatever. I have a late court hearing. Gotta go.” Sam gathered his brief case and keys before leaving the house.

John walked in as Sam left.

“Grandpa!” YN abounded into his arms.

“Hello, sweets!” He wrapped his long limbs around her.

“What’s up, Dad?” Dean walked into the foyer.

“On my way home, brought some food.”

YN grabbed for it when Dean stopped her.

“You just brushed your teeth,” he laughed.

“Fine, fine. I’ll just put it away.”

“Have a candy bar anyway,” her grandpa whispered.

“I heard that.” Dean said plainly. “Go, i didn’t see a thing.” He smiled at YN.

She scampered into the kitchen with the bag of food.

“When will Sam get home?” John asked.

”i don’t know. He never tells us anymore.” Dean shrugged as he led his dad into the living room.

“What?”

YN walked back into the room and snuggled into her grandpa’s side.

“He’s gone a lot.” YN looked at him.

John shook his head in disappointment.

“How much does Dad make an hour?”

Both men looked at her, confused.

“Umm, I think he said $40 an hour?” Dean eyed her.

“That’s a lot of money.” YN sighed. “Now I get why he doesn’t hang out with me,” she started to stand but John grabbed her jacket on instinct and the force of it made her land back on the couch.

“You are not allowed to say that.”

“Grandpa, he is always gone. Forget it. I need to go to bed. School tomorrow. Good night.” YN kissed John and Dean on the cheek before running up the stairs to get away from the tension.

“He’s losing her,” John stared plainly.

“Yep. I’m more of a dad to her than he is. I pick her up from school, I watch her, I pack her lunch. I don’t mind doing that. She’s my favorite girl, but he should be there for her.”

“I’ll talk to him,” John groaned.

Sam was dropping YN off at John and Mary’s house for a sleepover when John asked to speak to him privately.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“What? Dad, I gotta go-“

“Exactly.”

“Huh?” Sam titled his head.

“You’re always going. When was the last time you had a meal with YN?”

“Oh, don’t placate me.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“This is my house and you will be respectful!” John growled at his son.

“UGH,” Sam stomped out of the guest bedroom. “YN! We’re leaving!” He called out for his daughter.

“What?” She almost ran into him, trying to follow his voice. “We just got here. I’m supposed to spend the night.”

“We’re leaving.”

“No. Dean said I could and you did too. I got a good grade on my test, and Grandma said she was going to make me waffles. I’m not leaving.” YN turned to walk toward the kitchen.

“Don’t throw a hissy fit. We got her. Go do your damn stuff. Remember that she is yours, not Dean’s, not ours. Yours. Get out of here. She doesn’t want you here anyway,” his dad gritted his teeth.

Sam’s eyes went wide.

“Fine.” He walked outside of the house with a huff.

“Come on,” John guided her to the kitchen.”Don’t worry about him. He’s being an ass.”

“Hey! Language!” Mary grinned.

“Grandma, don’t worry. He is old, forgets that I’m ten and shouldn’t hear big person words.” YN started laughing. John threw her over his shoulder.

“Ah!” YN giggled. Her grandpa softly put her on the couch.

“You know he loves you right?”

“Nah.” YN said, waving him off. “Dean does. He takes me places and lets me have fun. Dad just wants me to do homework.”

“Sam is very driven. He just doesn’t have his priorities right.”

“Yeah, he DRIVES me crazy.” YN rolled her eyes.

“He does love you. I promise. Come on, let’s go eat some dinner,” he smiled.

That night, YN asked if she could do chores to earn some money.

“Uhhh.” Mary looked good John, confused.

“Why? We will always provide for you.” John looked at his grand daughter.

“My dad makes forty dollars an hour. I need forty dollars so that we can hang out. I’ve already gotten twenty.”

Her grandparents’ eyes went wide.

“You don’t have to-“

“Yes, I do. He always says an hour is worth forty dollars to him. So i need forty dollars.”

“No, sweetie.” Mary walked YN to the couch. “I didn’t know you felt like that.”

“Well, he doesn’t pay attention to anything unless he is making money.”

“Don’t you worry. He will turn around.” John walked away into a back room and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Sam walked into his house at 11pm.

“Hi,” Dean said in the dark.

“Dude, what have I told you? Don’t do that! I’m exhausted.”

“Mhmm.” Dean rolled his eyes. Sam turned on the lights.

“Why are you not in your pajamas? It’s late.” Sam tilted his head when he saw his brother in jeans and a Henley. “Please tell me you are not about to interrogate me. You’re in your interrogation clothes at this time of night.”

“I need to talk to you.”

“What now? I would like to get my beauty sleep.”

“Beauty would like to get her sleep too, ya know.”

“Huh?”

“Your beautiful daughter needs you. She climbs into MY bed, she relies on ME to have the tough conversations and discipline her. I don’t mind doing those things, but you should be doing most of it. You’re her father. She misses you.”

“Don’t tell me how to raise-“

“I will, because i am doing it by myself, and she isn’t even mine! I love her! I do, but it’s your job. You don’t like it that I take her to the shop? Then you come home. You don’t like it that I make her pancakes three times a week? Come make her breakfast.”

“Dean,” Sam started.

“No. You know what she told me? Time is money. So she is trying to earn $40 for an hour of your time, since that’s what you make an hour as a lawyer.”

Sam was about to bite back, but he stopped.

“You told her that you are worth forty dollars an hour, and she wants time with you. That’s not fair, Sam. Go get your girl tomorrow morning after she has her damn waffles, and don’t come back without her.” Dean took off his shirt to change into his pajamas as he exited the room, sighing heavily.

Sam stood in his place for a moment.

She’s working to earn money? For an hour with me? What have I done to my girl?

The next morning, Sam picked her up from his parents’.

On the ride home, he took a detour.

“Aren’t we going home?”

“I thought we could go shopping for those new shoes you wanted,” he smiled.

“That’s okay, Dad. I can get them later.”

“You and I are going to have the afternoon together. It will be fun.”

“Please just take me home,” YN looked out the window.

“I haven’t spent time with my girl in a long time, so that’s what we are doing today.”

“Fine.” She said plainly.

“Good.” Sam decided he would welcome any response he got from her.

They went to her favorite lunch place. Sam saw a smile reach her face when he pulled into the parking lot.

She was quiet as they ate.

“I heard you were earning some cash to hang out with me.” He curiously looked up at YN. She shrugged.

“I wanted time with you.”

“I didn’t realize how much I hadn’t been paying attention to you. Your uncle set me straight last night. I’ll be better at giving you my time without forty dollars an hour. Time is money, except when it comes to family. Got it?”

YN didn’t look at him.

“Hey, I promise.” Sam tried again.

“I hope you mean it.” YN grumbled.

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#supernatural #SupernaturalAU #mlovesstoriestimeismoney #sam x daughter!reader #Dean x niece!reader #mlovesstories #dean winchester #Sam Winchester

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myhauntedsalem · 3 years ago

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The 19 Creepiest and Weirdest Things Children Have Actually Said

1. This boy who probably needs an exorcism: I work at a summer camp and one day I was playing with this kid who was jumping off of things and onto me. I said, “Hey, be careful. If you kill me I can’t play with you anymore.” He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “No, but I can play with you.”

2. The scariest moment of this parent’s life: I woke up to find my 3-year-old son lying in bed next to me. I asked how he got in my bed, and he said he came to protect me from “the light eyes” that were standing over me while I was sleeping.

3. This little girl who deserves her own horror movie: I was babysitting a family friend’s kid, and it was just the two of us in the home. She looked around and whispered to me, “We’re not alone in this house.”

4. This paranormal activity: My mother was babysitting my daughter while I was at a doctor’s appointment and said, “Oh no, Grandma. Mama’s not coming any more today. She was in a bad, bad accident. She can’t come get us.” I had indeed been in an accident that almost killed me at that exact time. None of my family had yet been notified.

5. This real-life Poltergeist: I was babysitting and didn’t know how to turn off the TV, so it was just static. My 4-year-old cousin stared into the static and said, “I see the monster”.

6. This insane Freaky Friday exchange: My sister, Hailey, was born exactly two months after our great-grandmother died. One day Hailey woke up and informed us it was her 95th birthday. When we tried to reason with her she started crying, saying that her real name was Irene (my granny’s name), not Hailey. This lasted all day, and the next day she didn’t remember anything.

7. This frightening premonition: On our way to the theme park, my little cousin once told me, “You’re going to die today.”

8. This child who belongs in The Sixth Sense: My little cousin said her imaginary friend “Chucky” told her to kill her dad. It turns out they used to have a pool in their backyard that was covered up after the last owner committed suicide. His name was Chuy, but my little cousin couldn’t pronounce it so she called him Chucky.

9. The scariest future doctor in the world: We were on a boat on vacation and my 4-year-old cousin got really close to me and whispered in my ear, “I want to be a doctor so I can watch children die.”

10. This unnerving question: In the middle of the night, my little sister turned to me and said, “Do you hear them talking?” But it was dead silent…

11. This story that belongs in a Stephen King novel: My son told me about a “dead woman with blue skin, no hair, and black eyes” who supposedly lived in our old apartment. He said he watched her follow us outside and try to get in our car but there was no room so she stood outside and watched us leave while waving goodbye.

12. This playful game gone awry: I was babysitting a 2-year-old boy. We were playing with blocks and he was laughing, when he suddenly turned to me and said, “I’m gonna shoot your head off.” We played hide and seek that night and I was terrified of him finding me.

13. This devilish boy: My 3-year-old son and I were walking in a crowded mall. He likes to say ��hi” to everyone. He started “hi,” “hi,” “hi,” as people walked by, but out of nowhere he pointed at a man and said, “You’re going to die,” and then he continued with his hellos. Super creepy.

14. This ghostly encounter: I’m a nanny for a toddler who’s still learning to talk. As we walked through our local cemetery, which is normal in our neighborhood, she pointed at the area above the graves, saying, “People! Look, people!” over and over again.

15. This haunting feeling: When I was really little I pointed to a tree outside my house and said to my family, “That tree is going to die.” No one thought anything of it, but the next morning it randomly fell over and crushed my grandpa’s car.

16. The scariest song this mom has ever heard: My 3-year-old son was softly singing while he was coloring. I stopped to listen, but I had never heard the song before. I asked where he learned it, and he said, “The lady in my bedroom sang it to me.”

17. NOPE: My sister described her ‘imaginary’ friend, saying, “He sits on my bed and waits for his mom. He’s not allowed to go home by himself because of his arm.” I asked what happened to his arm, and she said, “His mom ran him over when he was drawing with chalk. That’s why he’s always crying, because he doesn’t like being dead.”

18. This spooky occurrence: When I was about 4, my mom found me in the bathroom with all my Barbies, making them float facedown in the bath. When she asked what I was doing, I replied, “The man in the wardrobe told me if I didn’t do it, it would be my turn to swim facedown.”

19. And this frightening conclusion: I work with kids on the autism spectrum. One of them said, “They can see us, but we can’t see them.”

#The 19 Creepiest and Weirdest Things Children Have Actually Said #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

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lozzypoz321 · 4 years ago

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Ransom’s young daughter gets sick and he has to take care of her, only to have to take her to a family party because he can’t get a babysitter. The rest of the family is confused when they see him acting so carefully.

Word Count: 3K!

Warnings: None, other than pure fluff and some sickness.

A/N from ssebstann: This our first collab fic! This came from an anon who asked me if I would ever do this and here we are! I’m so proud of how this turned out and I hope you all like it and more writers would like to collab! I had so much fun doing this!

A/N from lozzypoz321: I’m really happy with how this turned out and I owe it all to the queen up above, I loved this and I hope everyone does too!

Sickness Struggles

Ransom groaned as he woke up, it wasn’t his normal time, though. It was barely 6 am, and he knew it wasn’t your time to get up either, you had just fallen back asleep after climbing out of your bed and complaining to your dad that you didn’t feel well. It wasn’t that Ransom didn’t believe you, he just hadn’t fully woken up yet and wanted to go back to his peaceful, sleeping state. But, here he was about 2 hours later, hearing you crying from your room. Before he could get to your room, you ran past Ransom and straight into the bathroom that was beside your room.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Ransom asked. His stomach flipped when he heard you heaving and coughing, he grimaced. Ransom went into the bathroom and pulled your hair away from your pale face. You coughed again and fell back, your dad caught you in his arms from banging your head on the marble slates. “You really are sick, aren’t you?” He looked down at you, your hands were shaking and you looked utterly miserable.

“I tried to tell you, but you didn’t believe me,” You weakly pouted as he picked you up and put you on your unsteady and trembling legs. “Bet you believe me now.” You sassed him.

“I kind of have to. Look at you, you’re whiter than a sheet, honey,” He said, looking at you pitifully. “Alright, let’s get you back to bed.” Ransom took your hand and you trailed behind him, your small feet padding on the wooden planks of the houses’ hallways. You stood back behind him as he opened the door of your room and waited expectantly.

“I don’t wanna sleep in my bed,” You said confidently. Ransom cocked his eyebrow at you and walked towards you. “It’s too cold.” Ransom finally caught on to what you wanted and he nodded in understanding.

“Oh, so what you’re saying is that you wanna sleep in my bed and get your sickness everywhere?” He asked you, jokingly, of course, he didn’t want you to feel bad. After all, it wasn’t your fault that you were sick. Ransom looked at you and noticed the sick puppy look you had on your face and he instantly felt guilty, he didn’t want to upset you. “Hey, I was only joking, honey! You can go and sleep in my bed, alright?” You smiled gratefully and lifted a weak hand to rub the excess sleep out of your eyes. Ransom picked you up and you wrapped your shaking arms around his neck, clinging to him like a koala.

“Are you leaving today?” You asked him, you didn’t want him to go. If he did, you would be left with a babysitter who only sat and watched the TV in the living room, you know, the huge one that had all of the movies on it.

“No, but I have to tonight, I have to go see grandma and grandpa at a party,” He said, laying you on his bed and pulling the soft comforter up to your chin. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, Ransom frowned and wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. “It’s alright, honey. You’re gonna be okay.” He assured you.

“I don’t want you to go,” You whimpered. Ransom smiled at you sadly and kissed the top of your head.

“I’ll be back before you know it, I won’t be there long,” He said. You sniffled and nodded, rubbing your runny nose with the sleeve of your pyjamas. Ransom brought your sleeve away from your face. “No, no. Don’t use that, Y/N.” Your eyes filled up with wet tears again, thinking you were in trouble.

“I’m sorry,” You cried. Ransom pulled the box of tissues out from the drawer of his bedside table and put one in front of your nose.

“You gotta blow your nose, baby. Otherwise, it’s gonna get all sticky and make you uncomfy,” You looked at the tissue in front of you and blew into as hard as you could. After Ransom put the tissue in the trash can, he turned the TV on for you. “I know I shouldn’t be letting you watch TV at 6 in the morning, but I don’t exactly know what else I can do with you this early in the morning.” He mumbled. Sniffling, you put your small arms up at your dad, signalling that you wanted to cuddle.

“Please?” You stuck your bottom lip out and pulled the best puppy dog face you could muster. Ransom sighed, knowing he probably shouldn’t, but would anyway. He budged you over gently and got into the massive bed, settling you in beside him with his arm around your small frame protectively.

Without trying to disrupt you, he leaned over to the oak bedside table and retrieved the TV remote and began to flip through the channels. After a while, he settled on a F.r.i.e.n.d.s episode. He didn’t like the show but knew it was one of your favourites. He slid down the sideboard where his back had been rested and laid down on the fluffy white pillow that made him sigh in content. About halfway into the show his eyes began to get heavy and your breathing began to slow down, and soon enough both of you were in a deep slumber.

Ransom mumbled sleepily when the sound of a ringtone woke him up. He blindly threw his arms out without opening his eyes, trying to find the source of the incessant noise. When the ringing didn’t stop blaring in his ears, the man had no other choice but to open his eyes and ignore the resistance in his body that begged for him to lay back down and go to sleep.

“Shut the fuck up,” He groaned and fumbled with the phone to answer the call from the baby sitter, Morgan, he had booked for you. When he successfully swiped the answer button and the noise stopped his mind was put at peace.

“Hello?” He tried not to sound as if he had just woken up but failed miserably, from the other side of the call he heard the woman quietly chuckle before going back to being serious.

“I’m sorry for such short notice, Mr. Drysdale but I’m afraid I can’t take your daughter today, I didn’t realise I was double-booked for the day” Ransom inwardly cursed, thinking of ideas of what he could do with you. Not needing to listen to her apologies, he hung up the phone and chucked it on the bottom of his bed, which he now remembered upon seeing you, all the night's events that occurred previously.

As though you had read his mind, your body suddenly awoke from unconsciousness and you lurched forward involuntarily and vomit spewed out of your mouth and onto the freshly vacuumed carpet. At the sight, both of you grimaced, you using the back of your sleeve to wipe the excess from your mouth which made Ransom scrunch up his face in disgust.

“Oh God, honey,” he sighed, feeling sorry for you before going back to the current matter at hand “I am definitely not cleaning that up” You used all the strength you could possibly muster to push yourself up off of your fathers bed and set your feet onto the ground, carefully making sure not to land on the pool of sick. You looked back up to Ransom, tears once again filling your eyes as the thought of being away from him flooded your mind.

“Please don’t go, I don’t want you to go,” You whined. Ransom took a deep breath at the nagging reminder of figuring out what he now had to do with you. He knew he couldn’t call another babysitter, it was far too late for that, and he had no friends that could look after you for the short time he was going to be gone, and he couldn’t possibly leave you alone when you were sick, so the only option left was to take you with him to the family gathering. The sigh that left his mouth was one of someone who had given up on life. He took your hand to guide you past the vomit and took you to the bathroom next to his room so you could brush your teeth and get rid of the after taste, although stopping halfway to pick you up so you didn’t collapse onto the hard wooden floor and knock yourself out. Ransom was surprised at how hot your forehead felt and instantly retracted his hand making you shrink back into yourself, thinking he was scared of you. He sighed, and quickly retrieved your toothbrush from your bathroom so you could get rid of the sick stench that he was sure was the reason your breathing had got noticeably heavier. Your hand shakily found the mint toothpaste that your father used and weakly squeezed the tube, only a small amount of past leaving the bottle but you didn’t care enough to waste any more of the limited energy that you had left in you. About halfway through the slow brushing Ransom mentioned to you that you weren’t going to be home with the babysitter.

“What do you mean?” You spat the toothpaste out into the sink and looked up to your dad. Ransom looked at you with an almost guilty expression, but also he knew that you wouldn’t be that bothered about it, you would be with him all night and not some stranger.

“Well, Morgan kinda cancelled and now I don’t have a babysitter for you and you need to come with me tonight,” He explained. You nodded slowly, taking in what you could from your father’s quick explanation.

“Alright. Just please, don’t leave me with Jacob,” You requested. Ransom nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “He keeps going on about all of this political stuff and I don’t understand.” Ransom couldn’t help but chuckle at your childish innocence.

“Good, you don’t want to. Not his side of politics anyway, I don’t even think it is politics, more just mindless drooling,” You giggled. “Now your breath doesn’t smell like acid and whatever you ate last night, we should probably actually get you cleaned up.” He said, turning the shower on.

“Can’t I just stay in the car and not see anyone? It still counts as being there with you!” You pointed out. Ransom threw a towel at you, and you caught it with an oomf. You sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

“Okay, shower. You smell,”

“You better hope you don’t sneeze when I’m straightening your hair, I’ll end up burning your ear,” Ransom taunted you, looking at you in your mirror. He was standing above you while you sat at your vanity table in your room.

“Dad! Don’t say that,” You whined. You sniffled and rubbed your nose with the tissue on your table. “With my luck, I will and you then you’ll burn me.” Ransom laughed quietly and shook his head.

“I was kidding, Y/N,” He deadpanned. “And anyway, you’ve taken medicine, so you should be fine. And with any luck, you might give it to your best friend Jacob!” He cheered sarcastically.

“Do you like anyone?” You asked him. He shook his head.

“I like you, but that’s really it,” He shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal.

“You must lead a sad life,” You mumbled. Ransom feigned shock and offense, before realising your point wasn’t too far off. “But you live a sad life with an amazing child.” You gave him a smug smile.

“Oh yes, definitely,” Ransom said, dragging your straighteners down your hair.

“I’m your favourite child!” You exclaimed. He hummed and nodded, putting your straighteners down and placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, you’re my only child,” he reminded you, and grabbed a bobble from the wooden surface to use to tie your hair back. “But, I guess you are my favourite.” He confirmed, pulling half of your hair up and tying it up.

“I don’t look sick, do I?” You asked him. Ransom shook his head.

“No, you look perfect, Y/N. You managed to get a bit of colour back onto your face and you don’t look like you’re at death’s door anymore,” You gave him a glare. “Again, I’m kidding.” He kissed the top of your head and gave you your jacket. “Alright, let’s go.” You put your jacket on and followed him out to the beamer. You put your head against the window, your eyes following the scenery as it passed. You were trying to concentrate on not bringing up any possible bile that was in your system, with your luck it would happen in your dad’s other most prized possession.

“I don’t know why I’m shaking,” You said, looking at your dad with confusion written on your face. Ransom turned to you as he pulled into the estate, putting the car into park.

“Probably because you’re still sick. We won’t be long, I promise,” He assured you, putting his large hand over your much smaller one that rested on your leg. You nodded and got out of the car, following your dad into the house. The symphony of the dogs barking together made you jump and grab onto your dad’s arm. “It’s alright. I think they’re tied up.” He said.

“It’s not that I’m scared of them, they’re just really loud,” You mumbled. Ransom nodded and made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth. “Can we go in now, it’s really cold out here.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” He said. You walked up the front steps of the mansion and your dad opened the door, seeing that everyone was already there, and you were both fashionably late, as per usual for you both.

Your grandma, however, wouldn’t let you call your lateness fashionable. Linda looked over your way and clenched her jaw.

“Always late. I’m not surprised”

Your Grampa, Richard, shook his head at her and stood up to greet you both.

“Now, now, Linda” He walked halfway to the door and motioned you further into the house. Ignoring the stares from the rest of the family, you wrapped the nearest hand around your dad's leg and let him guide you over to an armchair in the corner. Him not bothering to greet his father back, or carry a conversation with Walt who was now looking at him with his bottom lip curled. You tried not to peak at what was on Jacob’s phone as he stood near you, while he typed furiously over something, but it was no use. You lifted your head and instantly regretted it. Without trying too hard you caught sight of the words Hitler, Syria and #4chan so you decided not to indulge any further. Part of you wanted to know what he was talking about, but for the most part, you were fearing what he was looking at.

“I hate this place” Ransom muttered and lifted up his arm so that you could pull yourself up onto the chair arm where he sat.

“Can we go now? ” You whispered back to him, making your dad chuckle. Just after he did, his eyes narrowed at someone across the room. Looking over, you found that Walt was glaring at both of you, but mainly you. You felt your cheeks heat up and you hid your face behind the top of your jacket.

“Walt, why are you eyeing up my daughter?” Ransom asked. All of the conversations in the room ceased and all eyes turned to you and your dad in one corner, and Walt in the other.

“Why did you bring her? She’s clearly sick, we don’t want whatever sickness she has!” He yelled. Ransom chuckled.

“Then why are you here? Everyone must have surely caught whatever you have by now, I mean, you must have something to make you like that,” Ransom motioned up and down at Walt. Linda and Richard wanted to hide and never be found. “And, she has a name.” Ransom finished with a hard stare on his face, if looks could kill, Walt would have been six feet under on the damn spot.

“I don’t even know the kid’s name!” Walt yelled.

“It’s Y/N,” You said quietly, only loud enough so people could hear you. Walt smiled at you sarcastically.

“Thanks, but I didn’t ask,” He said snidely. A grim smirk grew on Ransom’s face.

“Walt, if you even dare try to talk to Y/N again, I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass, people are gonna think that I’m making hats,” Ransom threatened. “Now, if we’re all done. Me and Y/N are going to be leaving now.” Before Harlan could object and try to calm things down, your dad grabbed your hand and began to pull you to the door and out of the house. Ransom let you go and get into the car while he got in the driver’s side.

“You handled that well,” Ransom commented. You slid part way down the seat and slightly shook your head

“I was dying inside,” You murmured. Ransom rolled his eyes and gently pulled you up by the collar of your jacket. “I’m not lying, is Walt always like that?” You asked him. Ransom shrugged.

“Maybe he finally found out what all of the shit that Jacob says online,” Ransom said, making you laugh.

“I saw that, it was disturbing. I’m gonna lie at school and say I’m related to Meg instead.”

A collab between me and @ssebstann ! 💞

Written by both of us. Wattpad; @Lozzypoz321 Tumblr side acc; @padfootbuckster Pinterest; @lozzypoz321

@marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger

#Ransom Drysdale x daughter!reader #Ransom x daughter!reader #Ransom Drysdale #Ransom Drysdale fanfic #ransom drysdale #Ransom Thrombey #Ransom Thrombey x daughter!reader #knives out #knives out oneshot #Ransom Drysdale onshot

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j0elmill3r · 4 years ago

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Sickness Struggles

Ransom Drysdale x Daughter!Reader

Knives Out Masterlist

Word Count: 3K!

Warnings: None, other than pure fluff and some sickness.

A/N from ssebstann: This our first collab fic! This came from anon who asked me if I would ever do this and here we are! I’m so proud of how this turned out and I hope you all like it and more writers would like to collab! I had so much fun doing this!

A/N from @lozzypoz321: I’m really happy with how this turned out and I owe it all to the queen up above, I loved this and I hope everyone does too!

“I tried to tell you, but you didn’t believe me,” You weakly pouted as he picked you up and put you on your unsteady and trembling legs. “Bet you believe me now.” You sassed him.

“I don’t want you to go,” You whimpered. Ransom smiled at you sadly and kissed the top of your head.

“I’m sorry,” You cried. Ransom pulled the box of tissues out from the drawer of his bedside table and put one in front of your nose.

“Hello?” He tried not to sound as if he had just woken up but failed miserably, from the other side of the call he heard the woman quietly chuckle before going back to being serious.

“Oh God, honey,” he sighed, feeling sorry for you before going back to the current matter at hand “I am definitely not cleaning that up” You used all the strength you could possibly muster to push yourself up off of your father’s bed and set your feet onto the ground, carefully making sure not to land on the pool of sick. You looked back up to Ransom, tears once again filling your eyes as the thought of being away from him flooded your mind.

“Can’t I just stay in the car and not see anyone? It still counts as being there with you!” You pointed out. Ransom threw a towel at you, and you caught it with an oomph. You sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

“Okay, shower. You smell,”

“I was kidding, Y/N,” He deadpanned. “And anyway, you’ve taken medicine, so you should be fine. And with any luck, you might give it to your best friend Jacob!” He cheered sarcastically.

“Do you like anyone?” You asked him. He shook his head.

“I like you, but that’s really it,” He shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal.

“You must lead a sad life,” You mumbled. Ransom feigned shock and offence, before realizing your point wasn’t too far off. “But you live a sad life with an amazing child.” You gave him a smug smile.

“Oh yes, definitely,” Ransom said, dragging your straighteners down your hair.

“I’m your favourite child!” You exclaimed. He hummed and nodded, putting your straighteners down and placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, you’re my only child,” he reminded you and grabbed a bobble from the wooden surface to use to tie your hair back. “But, I guess you are my favourite.” He confirmed, pulling half of your hair up and tying it up.

“I don’t look sick, do I?” You asked him. Ransom shook his head.

“I don’t know why I’m shaking,” You said, looking at your dad with confusion written on your face. Ransom turned to you as he pulled into the estate, putting the car into park.

“It’s not that I’m scared of them, they’re just really loud,” You mumbled. Ransom nodded and made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth. “Can we go in now, it’s really cold out here.”

Your grandma, however, wouldn’t let you call your lateness fashionable. Linda looked over your way and clenched her jaw.

“Always late. I’m not surprised”

Your Grampa, Richard, shook his head at her and stood up to greet you both.

“Now, now, Linda” He walked halfway to the door and motioned you further into the house. Ignoring the stares from the rest of the family, you wrapped the nearest hand around your dad's leg and let him guide you over to an armchair in the corner. Him not bothering to greet his father back, or carry a conversation with Walt who was now looking at him with his bottom lip curled. You tried not to peek at what was on Jacob’s phone as he stood near you, while he typed furiously over something, but it was no use. You lifted your head and instantly regretted it. Without trying too hard you caught sight of the words Hitler, Syria and #4chan so you decided not to indulge any further. Part of you wanted to know what he was talking about, but for the most part, you were fearing what he was looking at.

“I hate this place” Ransom muttered and lifted up his arm so that you could pull yourself up onto the chair arm where he sat.

“Walt, why are you eyeing up my daughter?” Ransom asked. All of the conversations in the room ceased and all eyes turned to you and your dad in one corner, and Walt in the other.

“Why did you bring her? She’s clearly sick, we don’t want whatever sickness she has!” He yelled. Ransom chuckled.

“Then why are you here? Everyone must have surely caught whatever you have by now, I mean, you must have something to make you like that,” Ransom motioned up and down at Walt. Linda and Richard wanted to hide and never be found. “And, she has a name.” Ransom finished with a hard stare on his face; if looks could kill, Walt would have been six feet under on the damn spot.

“I don’t even know the kid’s name!” Walt yelled.

“It’s Y/N,” You said quietly, only loud enough so people could hear you. Walt smiled at you sarcastically.

“Thanks, but I didn’t ask,” He said snidely. A grim smirk grew on Ransom’s face.

“You handled that well,” Ransom commented. You slid partway down the seat and slightly shook your head

“I was dying inside,” You murmured. Ransom rolled his eyes and gently pulled you up by the collar of your jacket. “I’m not lying, is Walt always like that?” You asked him. Ransom shrugged.

“Maybe he finally found out what all of the shit that Jacob says online,” Ransom said, making you laugh.

“I saw that, it was disturbing. I’m gonna lie at school and say I’m related to Meg instead.”

Permanent Taglist; Open!

@an-adventureland @demons-hunt @eviemarvel @avenging-natasha @bonkybarnes107 @this-kitten-is-smitten@justrandom02@lozzypoz321@herecomesthewriterwitch@tomms-h @40srogcrs@kashoot-me-now-please @ellehooo @rororo06 @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @bval-1 @marvel-ous-hobbit

#Ransom #hugh ransom drysdale #ransom x reader #ransom thrombey imagine #ransom x daughter!reader #dad!ransom #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x daughter!reader #x daughter #x daughter reader #x daughter!Reader #drysdale!reader #Knives Out #co-written #fanfiction #chris evans #christopher robert evans

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btxtreads · 4 years ago

Text

the world ends with you | choi yeonjun (1)

How can someone fall in love at the most incovenient time?

➴ Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader ➴ Rating: R-13 ➴ Genre: Multiverse!AU, Fluff, Angst, My usual taehyun is the smartest out of everybody trope ➴ Trigger Warning for the chapter: Death, Blood

A black void.

A field of purple and yellow pansies.

Y/N tried to call out to the void—for anyone, anything, anybody.

But there was no answer.

Y/N sighed through her nose, walking forward.

Well, at least she can move now. That’s a start.

It was eerie—the way she heard the wind rustling through the flowers, the way she can feel the cold gust breezing past her, but she doesn’t know where it’s coming from.

It was an endless walk, and endless field of white, yellow, and purple—wait.

There was someone, in the distance.

Y/N waved her hands.

“Hello? Who’s there?” She screamed as she neared. “I’m here!”

The figure didn’t reply. Maybe they didn’t hear her.

She walked closer.

“Hello?” She greeted.

Still, nothing.

She walked even closer.

And closer.

Oh, it’s him again.

Y/N pursed her lips as she stopped in front of the figure, hunched over in a chair.

A crown of roses rested upon his head, his throat sliced and bleeding.

The way his eyes were closed and his body slumped, it was almost like he was asleep.

The corpse wasn’t scary at all, though—He looked majestic with his blonde hair, white clothes and flowers, making his corpse seemingly gentle as the chair he sat on a chair in a pond.

He was so beautiful, Y/N almost wanted to cry.

“Who did this to you?” Y/N asked, submerging herself to the pond and kneeling in front of him. “Who are you?”

The corpse suddenly gasped, opening his eyes.

Brown eyes.

Y/N locked gazes with him as she fell back into the pond and into the darkness.

She didn’t even get his name.

Y/N shot up, panting as she gazed around her.

She was in bed, her plush doll she cuddled to sleep haphazardly thrown off of her bed like it usually was.

Her sheets bunched around her—that must be why she felt so hot.

Not because she dreamt of the corpse. Again.

“Why was he dead?” She asked herself, grasping at nearby notebook and writing it down.

Dead guy again. This time, no one was talking. But he woke up for the first time.

She sighed, taking a look at the other entries.

Dead guy. Voices: he just came from America.

Dead guy: Voices: he wants to go to a flower field.

Dead guy. Voices: he wants his Huening. What’s a Huening?

Y/N sighed as Namjoon, her older brother, bursted the door open.

“Rise and shine!”

“You rise and shine,” Y/N argued, tucking the notebook under her pillow.

“Rough night?”

“Same old,” Y/N shrugged, as she went to the kitchen. “Still dreaming stuff,”

“Wonder what it means,” Namjoon asked, humming in thought as he followed after the girl.

“You tell me,” Y/N snorted. “You’re the star man,”

“Cosmological Physicist,” Namjoon argued. “And I deal with science, not astrology. Plus, even if I was studying astrology, I doubt I can help you.”

“Yeah, I doubt that my sun sign can tell me why I’m dreaming about creepy shit,” Y/N snorted.

Namjoon only rolled his eyes, taking a seat by the table as Y/N helped herself to a cup of coffee.

“I don’t know what to say, Y/N,” he sighed, leaning his head on his hands. “You should go see a therapist about that. Maybe there’s some psychological thing about it?”

“Sure,” Y/N snorted. “Like they can help decode my annoyingly cryptic dreams,”

“It’s a suggestion,” Namjoon shrugged, checking the clock. “Anyways, you woke up late and it’s almost noon. Take a bath and get dressed,”

“What for?”

“Have you forgotten?” Namjoon snorted. “We’re seeing grandma today,”

“Sure,” Y/N made a move to go back to her room before turning back. “Hey, star man. You study universes, right?”

Namjoon rolled his eyes before nodding, making Y/N hum in wonder.

“Hey, what if this is like an alternate universe thing?” Y/N wondered. “Ooh, what if I’m time travelling to—”

Namjoon snorted.

“Okay, first of all, the multiverse theory is complex. There’s no way you’re travelling while you’re asleep unless you’re strong and fast enough to vibrate in the same frequency as that universe and strong and fast enough to throw yourself in and out of the universe in a night,” Namjoon snorted, amused at the idea of his sister travelling the multi-verse. “Or, every night for that matter.”

Y/N opened her mouth to argue, but Namjoon cut her off.

“No, not time-travel either. You’re not living a sci-fi movie,”

“What if I am though?”

“You aren’t,”

“You just don’t like it that I’m better than you,“ Y/N teased, wiggling her eyebrows. “What if I’m a scientific break-through?”

“Y/N, just go take a bath,” Namjoon rolled his eyes.

“Fine,”

It was a few hours later when the two arrived at their grandmother’s humble abode.

Namjoon wandered around aimlessly around the old house, confused.

“Where are the eggs?” He asked Y/N, making the girl snort as she assisted their grandmother to the kitchen counter.

“Stop panicking and sit with grandma before you poke your eye out with a fork,” Y/N snorted. “I’ll cook,”

Namjoon breathed out a sigh of relief as he plopped down on the chair next to his grandmother.

“You still don’t know how to cook?” His grandmother chastised, making him wince.

“I don’t know, Grandma. He made breakfast once, he burned scrambled eggs, so…”

“I didn’t know you had to flip it,” He muttered under his breath, as his grandmother laughed.

“Anyway, grandma,” Namjoon changed the conversation, embarrassed enough at his lack of cooking skills. “How have you been?”

“Oh, same old, same old, darling,” His grandmother gushed, patting his cheek. “Oh, and happy birthday, dearest,”

“It’s not my birthday,” Namjoon sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Grandma, it’s only July,” Y/N said, exchanging a sympathetic look with Namjoon. “His birthday’s in September,”

“Oh, is it? Silly me,” Their grandmother hummed. “Now, what are you concoting there, child?”

“Just a snack,” Y/N said, setting a pan on the stove.

Their grandmother smiled in wonder, humming dreamily.

“Ah, this reminds me of when I was younger. My mom would be in the kitchen cooking while my father sat with me,” Their grandmother reminisced, making Namjoon sigh in worry.

“Grandma, you should really rethink on our offer to stay with us,” He said.

“Oh, I can handle myself, dearest,”

“I’m sure you can, grandma,” Y/N sighed, turning back with a nod as she set a plate of food in front of the old woman. “But, we still worry,”

“Oh,” their grandmother gasped as she reached out to touch Y/N’s necklace, hanging from her neck. “Where did you get this?”

Y/N exchanged a look with Namjoon before shrugging and taking it off for her grandmother to observe.

“Just the mall. I thought it was cute,” Y/N replied, frowning. “Is something wrong?”

Their grandmother gasped, standing up with Namjoon’s assistance.

“Come here, dearest,” their grandmother whispered, pulling a box from underneath the coffee table and revealing a small music box.

Y/N sat next to the old woman, marvelling at the antique.

“What’s this?”

“Something my mother gave me,” Their grandmother gushed before urging them to pull closer. “Look, look,”

Namjoon sighed in boredom as Y/N gasped in curiosity.

Their grandmother turned the knob to open the music box, emitting a soft lullaby she has heard before.

“This is the lullaby mom always sung to you and me, Joon!” Y/N gasped. “I used to be so confused because it was in Korean and mom doesn’t know how to speak Korean, remember?”

“Our lullaby. Your mother couldn’t sleep without hearing it back then.” Their grandmother hummed. “It’s actually father who taught me, it was a lullaby from their family,”

“Great-grandpa Lee,” Namjoon said as Y/N hummed along with the music box. “Mom never told us about him,”

“Well, of course she wouldn’t. He died before your mother was born. He was a great father,” Their grandma told as she lifted the music box and pulled on a small switch at the side. “He left me this,”

Y/N gasped as a necklaced, with a pendant of a fossilized purple and yellow pansy, was pulled out of the music box.

“It’s beautiful,” Y/N gasped as Namjoon seemed confused.

“It’s just a flower,” Namjoon muttered, making Y/N roll her eyes.

“Your grandfather told me it’s from another world,” Their grandma whispered, like it was some sort of conspiracy theory and not a bed-time story. “This box was given to him by your great-great-grandmother, who got it from your great-great-great-grandmother,”

“So, an heirloom,” Namjoon said, taking the pansy for himself as Y/N thought to herself.

“It’s yours now, Y/N,” Their grandmother gushed as she urged Y/N to take the necklace. “Wear it,”

Y/N frowned as Namjoon gave her the necklace and clasped it on her.

Why does it look so familiar?

Y/N ran her thumb on the fossilized petal.

“There’s a long-running legend in our family,” Their grandmother told. “We always used to dream the same thing—over and over,”

“Excessive dreaming, huh,” Y/N crossed her arms. “So, it’s a genetic thing?”

Their grandmother continued like she heard nothing.

“The last one who dreamed was my grandmother, yes,” The woman hummed. “She dreamt about a field of purple and yellow flowers—that’s what she told me,”

Their grandmother sat still, deep in thought.

“I remember, she saw someone there. She never found out who or even got near them,”

Y/N frowned.

But she did.

Namjoon interrupted.

“That’s ridiculous,” Namjoon snorted. “It’s probably some fever dream passed down from generation from generation, through story-telling,”

Y/N looked over at Namjoon.

“Yeah, probably,” Y/N muttered.

No, it wasn’t.

That same day, Namjoon decided to stay over at their grandmother’s house for the night—just to be with her in the mean time.

Y/N frowned, thinking.

What could any of this mean?

Her hands shot out to her necklace, thumbing the petal once more.

“Joon?” She called out, looking up to find that she was in a world of black once more—smack dab in the middle of a field.

A field of flowers.

A field of pansies.

The necklace.

Y/N gasped, reaching up to her neck and feeling the fossilized petal once more.

So, it was sort of true.

Y/N wandered around the field aimlessly as she thought.

Her family had a line of people who dreamed about the same thing—maybe even the same boy—for centuries.

Her great-great-grandmother never got to the person, and she was the last one to have the dream—but somehow Y/N did.

Oh, right. The boy.

“Hello?” She called—no answer.

Y/N continued walking, wandering around aimlessly until she hit a figure in front of her.

She yelped, falling to the ground.

“Ow,”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” A male voice gasped, making Y/N snap her up.

It was the boy—still blonde, still beautiful, but very much alive.

There was no chair in sight, no crown of thorns and flowers—just him.

“Holy shit,” she muttered under her breath, making the boy burn red.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked as he helped Y/N come to a stand.

“Are you okay?” Y/N said, confused as she inspected the boy. “You’re okay?”

Unlike the other times, the boy wore a comfy gray sweatshirt with a slit on the shoulder and a backpack swung over his shoulders.

His usual well-kempt blonde hair dotted, topped with a flower crown, now looked somehow wind-swept.

There was no traces of wounds or blood anywhere.

He sent her a look of confusion, before looking to his side and back at her.

“Uh, are you lost?”

“You’re alive,” Y/N gasped, reaching out to cup his face in her hands.

Well, he definitely felt alive.

“Oh, wow,” Y/N gasped.

Yeonjun widened his eyes, gaining a look of recognition as his lips formed into an ‘o’.

“Wait, have we met before?” Yeonjun asked.

“In a dream, I think.” Y/N said. “Maybe I’m dreaming again,”

Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows, raising his hand to cup hers on his face.

“This is my first time seeing you alive,” Y/N muttered to herself. “I can’t believe you’re alive,”

The boy tilted his head, grasp tightening on her hands.

“But, I’ve never been dead,” He replied. “Are you okay?”

Then, Y/N stopped.

The boy—he seemed all too real, all too warm, all too corporeal.

He kept frowning as Y/N noticed her surroundings.

Yes, she was in a field of purple and yellow pansies—but instead of a regular black void, she can see the vast blue skies above her.

Behind the boy approached another, with lavender hair just as windswept as the blonde boy’s in her grasp.

“Yeonjun-hyung, who’s this?”

Y/N’s grip dropped on the boy, mind racing a mile a minute.

The blonde boy shrugged, tilting his head as the lavender-haired boy stopped next to him to look down on the girl with a frown on his face.

“I don’t know, ‘bin. She said we met in a dream,” The blonde replied as Y/N looked back up at his brown eyes. “What did you say your name was again?”

That’s when she realized that, no—this wasn’t a dream.

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spursnroses · 3 years ago

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So I’m still trying to process what happened last night. I need to write it out because I have no one nor place for it. First, I am going to warn you that this post will contain triggers such as mental illness, suicidal ideations/suicide that involves a family member, violent threats/verbal abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, and family death. Please do not read if you cannot handle such heavy content.

Last night my mother ended up drinking quite a bit, and we got into a fight.

She threw a temper tantrum for a very stupid reason - her phone died and her only phone charger was too short because over a couple of weeks ago my cat chewed up her other one which she left out despite knowing about his chewing habits by the way. She ranted about wanting to kill my cat/wishing he would die. She then threatened to take my phone and break it, so she made several attempts to grab it from me, but I refused. It turned into a wrestling match - I tried shoving her off me.

Of course, I grew upset. I kept telling her to stop or that she was making me angry. She wouldn’t listen. She deliberately kept me from going into my room so I could remove myself from the situation. I finally gave up and pushed my phone into her chest: “You want my phone so damn bad. Here you go.” I walked past her into the bathroom to wash off the blood from the scratch she gave me in the process. This made her angrier and shoved my phone back into my jacket’s pocket violently and tried to rip my jacket. She started to mock me for being hurt. She deflected by making claims that she was just playing around and that I always treat her she was such a horrible person and mother. That she’s an abuser. That I should go live with my “father” who never had anything to do with me in my entire life.

I tried to defuse the situation once again by trying to console her because I already felt tired by this point. I brought her a cup of water then she went to bed hoping she’ll just sleep it off. I was wrong.

She came back out and rummaged through the kitchen’s drawers. I pleaded with my mother from killing herself for however many times. She first cut her arm and her leg. She stood there in the kitchen with a knife to her throat. Eventually, I was able to calm her down. When she returned to her room, I immediately hid all the objects she could hurt herself with and she finally went to sleep. For many years, ever since I was a child, I lived with a severely mentally ill and single parent. My youngest memory of her mental illness remains fresh in my mind - I would be six years old and get up in the mornings to make breakfast and wandered outside alone while she still slept in bed almost all day. I found myself terrified by her violent outbursts or meltdowns - I would lie through my teeth to avoid her anger - sometimes I still am terrified. She depended on me a lot for emotional support despite being a child; wanting to be the best daughter, of course, I did whatever I could to make her happy. People would constantly compliment me on how mature I was for a young girl. I used to be highly sensitive during my early childhood - I would cry at the simplest “no” - but I think it had a lot to do with emotional neglect. As I grew older, I detached myself from emotions. Today I still struggle with expressing how I feel.

I carry a lot of trauma from life - my mother, though most of it is unintentional, emotionally manipulated and abused me for who knows how long and her past boyfriend who sexually abused me when I was five and six years old. Growing up deaf came with no easy tasks too. I already knew I was different from other kids when I walked on the playground with no friends. I experienced constant fatigue and anxiety.

Recently, I lost both of my grandparents who helped to raise me; they were my biggest support system. In 2015, my grandma unexpectedly grew ill and passed away on my birthday. My grandpa had early-onset dementia, and it was awful and stressful. He eventually succumbed to his bodily ailments in 2019. I watched and said my final goodbyes to both of them on their deathbeds. That’s when the drinking escalated especially since my grandma died. Alcoholism runs deep in my family. My grandpa, unfortunately, drank, his brother and sister also drank to themselves to death, and now my mother and aunt drink heavily.

When my mother drinks, she binges to the point she rages or blackouts. She has called in sick to work multiple times before because she’s so hungover. 50/50 of the time when she’s drunk, she’ll start picking fights with me. On a few occasions, it has become physical such as blocking my path or cornering me but most of the time it evolves into name-calling, berating, and guilt-tripping. She often breaks things when she goes into a white-hot rage. There are dents on the walls of the bathroom. A few weeks ago, she shattered one of my grandma’s possessions. She once ripped the front door off its hinges which I later fixed. She sometimes brings strange men to the house, and last year, one of them crawled into my bed naked and grabbed my wrist waking me up. It scared me so badly. Thankfully he didn’t do anything to me because I jerked away and asked, “What are you doing?” and he left my room. I woke my mom up and had him leave. My mother still had the gall to say I was just dreaming it. After that incident, I installed a lock on my door and sleep with a tazer under my pillow.

I have accepted at this point in life it is out of my control. I can’t stop her from drinking. I can’t force her to seek treatment.

She always had a poor temper and suicidal tendencies though. It just intensified with alcohol. One time she took a bunch of pills with vodka and fell in the shower mostly unresponsive. I called my aunt for help, and she came over; so did the paramedics. She spent a few days in an institution for observation and treatment, but that never really helped her. This was not her first episode; she ended up there a few times - over a year ago her former counselor called the police on her and they came to the house. One of the policemen found the pill bottle with my name on it and accused me of giving my mother the bottle though this situation was beyond my control. She ended up at the hospital then transferred to the institution for suicide watch. She never became the better for it. She refuses and claims nothing ever helps her. Lately, I have been trying to distance myself from my mother. It’s difficult to set boundaries because she constantly crosses them. I have grown to become very angry and resentful especially towards her. My mother is extremely emotionally enmeshed. She depends on me for emotional support, but after so many years, it is starting to wear me down. I no longer want to feel responsible for her emotions. I honestly have no support system in place. I don’t have any close friends to talk about what I’ve been going through. My aunt is clueless about what goes on at home, and I don’t intend to tell her about it because I know it just would cause more problems. Sometimes, I just want to scream, kick, and cry. My life can be literal purgatory. I feel very trapped. I want so badly for something or someone to whisk me away from this life. It amazes me that I don’t act as fucked up as I truly am.

#i feel a lot better after writing this #thank you if you read this i just needed the space to pour this incoherent mess of my mind

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spookygoddessj · 4 years ago

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*trigger warning: miscarriage*

Have you ever woken up from a dead sleep and felt lost ? Like more lost than you’ve ever been? That’s what I wake up to everyday since August of 2020.. For those of you who follow me but don’t know, I had a miscarriage in August of 2020.. My fiance and I have fought on and off since. Some of the fights are fine and fixed but others, continue for days, months... It’s hard.

As for how I am handling things, I’ve shut down. I’ve grown and fallen all at once. It’s like rock bottom is full of surprises. The ups, the downs, the tears, the cold nights and the emptiness has made me feel very alone in the matter. I know I am not alone in this but man, do I feel ever so alone. I am still a mother and I know this as well. I push myself too hard to be okay at times. And it’s okay to not be okay.

The day I had a D&C, it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. And not physical pain, emotional. I went out within 5 seconds of the medication hitting my system. I woke up with a huge coughing fit and still bleeding. I couldn’t stop coughing for a good 30 minutes. The breathing tube irritated my throat. It was horrid. I woke up alone and scared and crying. I wasn’t in the right mind set and was in so much pain. The thought that they took what was left of my baby really tore me apart.

After that, things got tough. But you all don’t wanna to hear about how I fell apart completely and still am.

The days are long and the nights are longer. I sit home alone most of the time and try to push myself to do better. And tonight I realized, I will never be okay with the situation until the day I die. The memories will haunt me til the day I die. But my baby, my Oakley, wouldn’t want his mommy to live in pain for the rest of her days. My therapist suggested something that I think I am going to do right now, write a letter to Oakley. So here I sit, thinking about how to word everything I want to say to my unborn child who earned their wings too soon. But here goes nothing....

Dear Oakley, My Little Bluebean,

I am proud to be your mother. Even though you weren’t ever able to be held by me, you are a huge part of my life.

I had so much planned for you my baby. I often wonder what you would’ve looked like, what you would’ve sounded like and who you would act more like, me or your father. Would you have my eyes or his? Would you have my hair or his? But know this baby, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.

I promise to not dwell on it forever. I promise to be a better person in the future. I promise that your future siblings will know about you and maybe someday they will write you letters like I do for my older brother, Shane. Maybe it’ll bring them comfort knowing that someone is watching over them from a better and safer place.

You gave me a purpose Oakley. To be your mother. And a mother again in the future. I hope Wonderland is beautiful for you. All the sweets you could enjoy and the best company you could ask for, your uncle.

And as I write to you, I may be shedding tears. But you are not too blame my sweet baby boy. You are never to blame. And neither is anyone else. Including myself. Because you know what? It wasn’t your time. They needed you in Wonderland to help your Uncle Shane watch over the family that loves you so dearly.

Even your grandma and grandpa would be proud of you for watching over everyone. Both your Aunt Aspen and Uncle Oliver would be proud of you.

And with your due date coming up, I hurt. I pray that you are safe in your Wonderland and happy. Because that’s all I wanted for you. Was HAPPINESS! And someday I will join you in Wonderland and we will finally be together.

But do no fret my baby boy, Mommy will stay strong and fight for you everyday. I swear it on my last breath and my heart and soul. And know this....

AS LONG AS I’M LIVING MY BABY YOU’LL BE!

I love you son. Please continue watching over us.

Love,

Your Mommy (Jaza’t Marie Townsend)

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lalunangel · 3 years ago

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my dad

i knew my dad in my youth vaguely enough to know he was my papa. he had been gone for literal years and every time he popped in he would cause some heartache and i really started to dislike him. my mom even convinced me that i was the reason he didn’t come around and that he was bad because he hated me so i developed a deep hatred for me dad.

but.. at 14 i gave him a chance. because although he caused a lot of suffering and never played the dad role in my life and i was already basically an adult.. i held no illwill towards him.

so at 14 i was heavily into reading all sorts of books. adult books too. i didn’t ever like to openly admit it but i thought that it was always so interesting. my dad connected to me the best way he could. he read my books. we started a series together but stopped halfway because we couldn’t afford to buy new books every other day. so we never finished it. i still have the books he bought me. they’re very special to me.

my dad became my best friend. so much that i finally started to open up to him about the abuse i endured living with my mom. what boys would do to me. how i hurt myself. how i was severely depressed and no one noticed and why i scream in my sleep. my dad was so kind and willing to learn more about me and take care of me.. i moved in with him by the end of the school year and i lived with him until the summer of graduation.

my dad passed away june 9, 2018. from a heart attack caused by a blood clot. i graduated from high school a couple weeks before. he didn’t bother to go and came up with a shit excuse that i didn’t fall for. i was angry and disappointed. my mom didn’t show either but my mom never looked or wanted success for me. only my dad so i was broken by the fact that my grandma showed and my sister and two distant cousins but not my papa. the only reason i stuck with school and worked hard for good grades. i wouldn’t settle for a c or even b’s because i wanted to make him proud.

i remember the day he died. i finally forgave him for what he did or- didn’t do.. the day before so we were back on good terms. and he asked me to wake him up before i left for work. i did. “Hey papa it’s 6am it’s time to get up” and he woke up with his sleepy face and no glasses and i’m never going to forget.. he got out of bed and said “thank you baby” and i smiled and said “no problem. i gotta go. i love you so much i’ll see you soon!” and he said “i love you too squeeze” i ran up the stairs and went to work. i didn’t get off until 6. it was summer and i wanted to work so hard that i could afford to move out and be happy in my own place and make my dad proud. i got home and i didn’t realize how tired i was and i fell asleep in my work clothes on the pull out couch bed i bought myself from a garage sale a couple months back. i remember him waking me up and laughing about how i needed to change and i needed to eat. it was already really late when he woke me up. i changed into my jammies and i gave him a hug. and i went to eat dinner with my grandma and tell her about my day. my dad ate with us and then went to his room and i sat there. very dazed from my nap. and then he ran into the room saying it hurt. and crying. and begging me to call 911. so i did. i didn’t know what to say. i just wanted him to feel better. i didn’t know what cardiac arrest was until that night. i watched him die.. and then come back.. and for him to say he loved us and beg god to not take him.. and i sat there crying...when they finally showed up they didn’t help much. they couldn’t have anyway. for a year i blamed myself for him dying... i should’ve called sooner.. i should’ve taken him myself. my sister and grandma went to the hospital and told me to stay because he was going to be fine and i had work the next day... 1am came and my sister called my crying.. and i didn’t hesitate to grab my keys and hall ass to the hospital. i didn’t cry that night. i shook violently. i held my sister. i called my mom.. because for once she needed to be a mom.

my mom showed up and my sister curled up in her arms and cried. and i just sat there holding my grandma. i was really sad but i was still processing that my best friend died.. when we finally all went home after we sat there for four hours with his body and my family crying. i went to my room and laid back down and looked at his room door and thought about he wasn’t going to come out that door. that the light wasn’t going to turn on randomly at 3am. that he wasn’t there. and i fell asleep because it rained the whole night. and the next day.. and the next two weeks. i remember dreaming about him telling me he loved me and that he was sorry. and the rain. so when i woke up i thought IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM!!! but it wasn’t.. i got out of bed..my family still asleep... i went to his room to wake him up.. and i fell to my knees because i knew better and he wasn’t there and his bed was the same as last night and everything was messy and i finally cried.. while everyone else slept. i went back to my room and called my job to let them know i wasn’t able to make it in and explained why. but that i would be back my next working day... because i don’t have time to disappoint him.. and i felt it was all my fault so i needed a distraction. my manager forced me off the schedule for two weeks.. and wouldn’t allow me to pick up shifts because “you need to heal and you can’t heal if you’re constantly hurting at work” so i had to take two weeks- she gave it to me paid. my family from all over came to visit and see him off and comfort us. family apologized to me for not being able to help. apologized to me for my loss. everyone was crying except me.. my mom was even crying... it wasn’t until my dads friend valarie showed up that i finally let everyone see how sad i really was. i held onto her and cried so ugly i ruined her pretty dress. she combed my hair and kissed my forehead- i’m 19... i was an adult. and i was crying like i was a toddler just because someone i found comforting finally showed up. i cried so hard i hiccuped. i cried so hard that everyone gathered around me and hugged me. it was awful. i’m not the attention type. i’m a crybaby by nature but this was my papa. and he died in front of me... and i hadn’t cried for four days.. and here i am crying to an almost stranger and telling her i’m sorry like it’s going to help god bring him back. she didn’t mind. she loved me so hard that i hardly felt sad when i was done.

my family needed a consoling speech the day of the funeral. a way of saying thank you everyone who came. and thank you for being kind to my dad. no one wanted to do it. this is the day after i cried like an ugly baby. and my sweet angelic valarie told me i should say some things. i am riddled with anxiety and i dislike a large portion of my family... and don’t know another large portion. none of my friends who knew my dad showed up. it was just me and my sister. alone in the world again. so i stood up.. and walked to the microphone.. and i shook very violently and my voice was very shaky.. just saying hi to them and saying thank you for coming... my family is not supportive of many things and they don’t believe in my anxiety.., but that day they put aside their beliefs and yelled “we love you angel” “we’ll always be here” “we’re glad you’re talking” “mija it’s okay if you can’t do this” and i shook so violently that my sister who at the time was just 14...had to hold me so i stopped. i laughed after hearing all the nice things.. and the support. and i finally spoke about my dad. i didn’t have a lot to say because i was only 14.. but i knew so much that i spoke enough to comfort my family.

i don’t remember what i said- but i know i said thank you. and i made jokes about my dad. and talked about all the good memories i had with him. and how grateful i was because he wanted me so much. and that i was sad and that i was sorry i wasn’t crying but i wanted to be strong for those who felt much worse than me. and i remember one by one each of them slowly standing up and saying “We love you girls” to my sister and i while we stood up there. i remember shaking so hard that valarie stood up and went to hold my hand and how i laughed nervously and said “i want to cry because this is a really nice moment but also i’m deeply hurting. i just want all of us to heal and for god to give us his light back” and shaking so hard that valarie latched herself on to me and my sister. and she spoke on behalf of us the rest of the time while we stood there. i was 18- my sister 14. if you didn’t know our age we looked like two 10y/o’s shaking under the pressure. this really sad song dad liked a lot played after and i turned around and hugged my sister.. who was crying so hard and ugly that i was afraid that they only heard her. we sat there next to him on the floor shaking and crying and hugging for what felt like hours... our home was gone.. my grandma got up and kneeled down and hugged us.. and so did my grandpa.. and my tías.. and all of my cousins... shaking... i remember shaking so hard and hearing my sisters ugly sobs and thinking “who would’ve thought we would love you this much” i.. know if my mom died i wouldn’t cry. i wouldn’t shake. i’d sit there and comfort my family. my sister and my grandma are very different for me.. i love them with everything... like i loved my dad... and i remember thinking “you finally brought us all together” he finally did it... in the worst way possible... we went to the cemetery which is really far- and i apparently shook so much my body was tired i fell asleep on the ride on my grandpas shoulder.. he didn’t hesitate to hold me. we fell asleep together... and i woke up thinking my dad was holding me.. and clinging to my grandpa the rest of the day... he wouldn’t let me go either. he held me so tight that i thought i’d burst. i remember them praying loudly when they were putting sand on the coffin. i remember the loud sobs from people i didn’t know. i reply great grandma sitting next to me shaking just like me and saying “aye gordo why so soon mijo” and it was over.

they all came to my grandmas and spent the day together. drinking. having fun. and i sat in my room. i didn’t have a real room- i had a corner with a curtain dividing it from the space. everyone singing and dancing.. everyone happy.. and i thought “maybe i can cry now” and it didn’t come. i didn’t cry about losing my dad until i went back to work. i was so ready. i started strong and halfway through...a coworker talked about her dad. how he calls her princess.. she’s 50... and i smiled and said “mine calls me all sorts of names but my favorite is squeeze” my dad called my angel baby and i was in love with it for forever until a boy ruined that for me. he called me baby cakes. chunkers. mac to his cheese my dad called me all sorts of names.. Zoe Jane... izz. goober.. luna.. his star.. his flower.. i along side me sister was his world.. and i loved it.. he’d sing to me if i was sad and i took that for granted. he gave me all the great qualities to be a good adult. a good person. and i took it all for granted. she asked me all sorts of questions about him. if he had tattoos. what he liked to do in his free time... i never realized but all those answers were right on the surface because i memorized him. he had 11 tattoos. he liked to fish and paint and garden in his free time. he liked rock music but could enjoy literally anything as long as it made him feel something. he liked to read and he wouldn’t turn down girly pre teen books either. he liked being alive.. and when i told her these things she looked at me and asked why i was crying... and i wiped my tears and laughed and said “that’s a health code violation” and walked away... i had to take a break after that. they weren’t allowed to talk about dads after that for months. i wasn’t sensitive to it.. i would just talk about my dad like he was alive and it made them worry for me... one day i turned in my two weeks and said goodbye to them and i felt really sad because outside of my family- these were the only people to care about me.. and my loss. they supported me and prayed with and for me.. they helped me heal.. when all my “friends” abandoned me. i was incredibly sad to leave.

I think about that year so much.. how all my dad wanted me to do was make amends with everyone in my life and i couldn’t. i couldn’t sit there and say sorry or admit the hurt i was going through.. i was too stubborn.

I still sit in my car and wonder what it’d be like to see you drive it.. or to see you be a passenger again in the car while holding a beer. Would you listen to olivia rodrigo with me..? would we be okay..? I hate your birthday so much because it’s so fucking heavy.. your death date.. it’s so heavy and i get so angry.. why is everything so fucking heavy.. I can’t even explain the lengths my heart have gone through to attempt at healing. It’s so horrible and lonely.. i want to scream so loud now.. I’m 21.. i want to scream so loudly that my voice is heard over the corners of the game you and they hear the anguish i’m in. I want someone to take the pain away already. I want someone to see me... to really see me and the hurt in my heart and tell me i’ll be okay.. tell me it’ll get better but it never stops hurting. it’ll never stop hurting.. i’m so ANGRY AT THE WORLD FOR TAKING YOU AWAY FROM ME! i’m so angry.. i’m so angry that i’m hurting so much..

i want to scream so loud that someone learns the language of it and screams with me.. i hate you.. i hate you because you left me.. i need you everyday and it’s fucking agony and i only use swear words to enhance the things i have to say because if i’m honest.. i won’t be able to comply what i feel in basic words.

i’ve cried more about you at 21 than i ever did at 18 and i’m so sorry.. you deserve a more feeling daughter and i denied you.. i denied you all my life..

i decided to get your handwriting tattooed on me. i don’t care about the risk of losing grandmas love or approval.. i don’t care about the risks anymore.. i just want to feel again.

i hate what an unfeeling bitch i’ve become to some people.. i hate how over loving i am for others.

i’ll never be satisfied with myself.. because i can’t hear you telling me what’s wrong with me anymore.

#personal #my family #my dad #i just want it to end already #i want to be with you #in the dirt

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toothpastecanyon · 5 years ago

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Noie’s Brother, Chapter 13

Thank you @feferipeixes for beta reading this chapter! I really appreciate it!

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Alcor felt like this one was a little on the nose. A newborn Mizar fading away in the hospital and a loving father pleading to him from behind a circle of candles.

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Naomi Argenta just wants this stupid vampire to stop harassing her brother. It’s making him go… weird.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

________________________________________________________________

Who was Dipper talking to?

“Huh? I don’t… huh?” Looking up from the bus’s window, Noie saw Dipper frowning at a phone call. He rubbed his face. “No, I can hear you, I just… could you say that one more time?”

Noie arched an eyebrow. He blinked at her.

“I’m a…? What? Who is this?”

“Who’re you talking to?”

“Um - one second Noie - wait I don’t understand, you’re calling from Grandma’s phone, who is-”

She snatched it out of his hand.

“Hey! Noie!”

Putting it to her ear, she heard, “-that the thing you’re focusing on? Who cares what phone I’m calling from, you are Alcor the Dreambender!”

Noie’s stomach dropped. Lucy Ann.

“You’re a demon in human disguise, okay? And I can explain but I need your help to… hello? You still there?”

“...Hi.” She managed. Her voice was very small, and she cringed at the groan that came through the line.

“Oh great, it’s you.”

“Um…” Dipper was frowning at her; she flashed a bright smile. ”No! No, thank you! We’re not interested!”

“What are you- are you trying to pass me off as a telemarketer?”

“No no, sorry, um… no, not interested! Please don’t call again!”

“You are just the worst, you know that?”

Noie barked a laugh. “Hah, yeah, so thank-you-have-a-nice-day-bye!”

“Yeah yeah, fuck y-”

She whipped the phone away from her face and jabbed the red button until it hung up. The screen went back to normal, and she breathed a massive sigh of relief.

Crisis averted.

“Who was that?” Dipper’s voice made her jump. “Why’d you-”

“Nobody! Just- telemarketer!”

He frowned at her. “What are you talking about? They were calling from Grandma’s phone, how did someone-”

“They can do that!” She clutched his phone to her chest. “It’s the, um- can’t think of the word right now but it’s a thing and don’t worry about it! Wow, look, we’re close to school!”

“Spoofing.”

“Yeah it’s spoofing!” She blinked. “Wait, what word is that?”

Dipper was rubbing his head. “That’s what you were saying, they can spoof phone numbers, to… to, ugh. ” With a groan, he curled forwards, putting his face in his hands and mumbling, “Sorry, head is killing me right now…”

“Oh, no,” Noie said, a little distantly. She was staring down at his phone, at the ‘1 New Text Message(s)’ on his lockscreen. Her heart thumped in her chest; after a moment’s hesitation, she bit her lip, tapped in his password and checked it out, just to be safe.

The text was… an automatic reminder from their history class that the project was due next week.

Oh, okay.

She went back to his message history, and stared at the list of his recent conversations.

Nothing. Okay.

Went to close his phone, but paused there. There could be a message coming from Lucy Ann any second, she thought. That could really be a problem; it only took one message to ruin this.

It only took one second.

It only took one single slipup, and… okay, she had to deal with this.

Noie sucked in a breath, and shot a glance over at her brother. He was still cradling his head, fingers clutching at his hair... his thinner, paler fingers tipped with claws, she noticed.

(And his hair, was it thinner? It almost looked thinner to her…)

With a hard swallow, she turned off his phone, and slipped it into her backpack.

Okay, she thought for the rest of the ride.

Okay.

When their stop came up and Dipper dazedly asked for his phone back, she said she’d already given it to him. He was frowning and patting his pockets as they crossed the street into the parking lot, but she ignored him.

That was okay, she thought. He’d forget about it in just a second now.

The gates. The angel. The lump in her throat. They were all getting so close now, and that was okay.

Noie squeezed his hand. It was okay. It was okay. It was okay, okay?

And when Dipper squeezed back hard, claws digging into her skin… that was okay, too.

Everything would be okay, as long as she trusted the plan.

“One moment, please.”

Ugh, another one of these. There’d be more talk, and there’d be more growling, and Noie just stood there, dreading it. It was okay, too, but stars, she wasn’t in the mood. She’d gotten so little sleep last night - did she sleep at all?

She… didn’t actually know, and that made her snort. Not a good sign.

The angel started to talk, now, and Noie just closed her eyes, let his words wash over her, heard all about how the preparations are just about in place, it won’t be much longer, you’ve done well so far for a human. And that’s all I need; my plans would never demand perfection from you. I would never burden one of my chosen with more than they could handle.

Slowly, Noie opened her eyes. He’d stepped to the side, so she walked forwards, bringing Dipper along with her.

Not to say that your burden has been light, my child. You have struggled more than was expected with it, and… that does sadden me. I admit these morning conversations have been quite endearing; I do so love humans, but an angel such as myself has duties to attend to and I rarely have the opportunity to interact with one, as I do with you.

…to form a bond, as I have with you.

She kept walking. Kept walking, and a smile was put on her face. She was smiling… huh.

We are friends, are we not? I believe us to be friends, and that is why it would sadden me if what I placed upon your shoulders caused you feelings of resentment towards me. I forgive you, of course, if they do - you may never understand the good I am doing here, and no personal attachment would ever distract me from bringing about your salvation, from bringing about the salvation of all my chosen people. If some of them must hate me to be saved, then that is unfortunate, but that is a burden I will carry for you.

She nodded to herself, like that made sense. Kept walking.

But I do hope that we remain as friends after this.

Kept walking. Not towards the math building. Into the nurse’s office, and that was a little strange but maybe she was taking Dipper there. Yeah, that made sense.

Perhaps I can lighten your burden, and that will cause you to look on me more favourably.

Kept walking, over to the beds. She rubbed her eyes - huh, she was suddenly quite tired. She sat down, laid down, and that made sense.

...There.

She closed her eyes, and the angel’s smile stretched across her face.

“You are welcome,” he said with her voice. With her eyes, he watched her drift off to sleep.

________________________________________________________________

Noie opened her eyes. She was standing at the bus stop, and it was the end of the day.

She blinked, then frowned. It was the end of the day already?

…

Yeah, her phone said it was two thirty. Huh. That felt like it went by fast; heh, time flies when you’re a master of sleeping through school, right? Dipper didn’t know what he was missing out on.

Dipper… Dipper!

He was right behind her, slumped across the bus stop’s bench. The second Noie spotted him, a smile she didn’t know she was wearing fell right off her face. The past few days hit her like a truck, and ohhhh riiight, everything kind of sucked right now, didn’t it?

Oh, shit! Everything really sucked right now! Wh- uh, what was she- how was she gonna-?

No, wait, fuck, the bus was coming right now!

“Dipper? Dipper, the bus!” She frantically tapped his shoulder. “Come on, you gotta get up!”

He just moaned, and when she pulled him upright oh my stars he definitely didn’t look that bad when they woke up. A nosebleed had dried on his deathly pale face, and his eyes, half-lidded and unfocused, kept glitching to gold.

“Dipper…” Noie breathed. Her stomach dropped, but then she heard the bus pull up behind them - no time to freak out.

(No time, never any time-)

Stuffing it down, she made his hand cover his nose and tried to plaster on a smile as she led him up to the bus.

Fare money, fare money… argh, she should’ve gotten this ready before they got on! Thank the stars the driver took one look at Dipper and waved them through; that was a good bit of luck.

Noie all-but carried Dipper to the back of the bus and propped him up in the corner seat. She tried not to look at him as she fished out a box of tissues, and stared at her own hand as she cleaned up the blood on his face.

...There, all gone. A nervous chuckle - good as new, right?

Right?

She cupped his cheek, and smiled when, a moment later, he leaned into her hand. His skin.. it felt clammy, his eyes were still flickering, and suddenly Noie was struggling to keep that smile on her face. Her jaw trembled, her lips twitched, her breath caught-

Then she drew it all back. Sat forwards. Stared straight ahead. Drummed on her legs for a second then got out her phone.

Dipper groaned, and she stared down. Scrunched up the fabric of her shirt, and squeezed until she had a lid back on the pressure in her chest.

Only then did she dare to sneak a glance at her brother. It looked like he’d fallen asleep; his eyes were closed, and she couldn’t see what they looked like anymore.

Okay.

Ohhh-kay.

This was still fine. There was still a plan, and that was weird but nothing had really changed, she could still fix this. Just keep him away from Lucy Ann and everything would be fine, everything would go back to normal.

She nodded to herself, like that made sense. Hopefully her Grandpa wasn’t sitting in the kitchen today, she thought.

Even he’d probably get all nosey if he saw Dipper like this, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

________________________________________________________________

Washing dishes at three in the morning. Noie had to be quiet; she extracted a mug from the clutter in the sink with surgical precision, and let the tap dribble water over it.

Then she took the sponge, and scrubbed hard.

Scrubbed harder than she needed to.

Scrubbed hard enough that her arms started to burn, hard enough that her breath got harsh and her shirt got stuffy.

Hard enough that she didn’t have to think about anything, or anyone.

Scrubbed like she wanted to shatter this mug.

Scrubbed, like she wanted

to scour it all down

nothing.

…

And then she gave up. Panting, she tossed it in the drying rack. Picked out something else.

Tried it all over again, because this was good.

Her jaw ached from being clenched.

She’d been a little stressed from all this Dipper business, you know? She needed to let off some steam-

Her back hurt. Her neck was killing her.

-and this way, she was being productive about it! That was great, right?

Stars, her eyelids were burning.

This was fine. This was fine… and besides, she couldn’t complain.

She was going to scream.

It was Dipper who was really struggling, you know? She was doing this all for him.

She had to do everything for him.

And she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind doing things for people. It was fine.

She had to do everything around this fucking house-

It was fine! It was fine. You know, she’d appreciate a ‘thank you’ once in a while, but hey, it wasn’t like she was expecting one at this point so it doesn’t really matter what she thinks, does it!

shoved her sponge into a glass and soap splattered everywhere and it slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor and-

Noie caught it. Her hand shot out and she caught it before it hit the ground.

Before it shattered and woke everyone up.

Heart hammering in her chest, she glared at it. Glared at the soapy water now running down her arm.

Shattered, and then her Grandpa would storm over and he wasn’t going to talk to her about all the dishes she did perfectly, now was he?

He wouldn’t even notice.

She gripped the glass until her knuckles went white.

Nobody noticed. Nobody even cared until she messed up, and then they just got mad at her even though she was trying to help and she was going to break this glass.

That thought popped into her head, and suddenly she was, she was. Noie backed up, trembling with fury, and glanced at the backyard. No, dammit, she couldn’t go out the backdoor-

The front door! She jerked herself towards it and tried so hard to keep herself from wrenching it open - blood thundered past her ears as she did it slowly, narrowed her vision until she couldn’t see anything but getting outside come on come on FUCKING COME ON-

Then she slipped through, darted out onto the driveway, and with every once of force in her body, every scrap of stress and frustration and guilt and worry and fury she’d kept to herself for god knows how long-

Naomi Argenta hurled the glass straight at the concrete and utterly annihilated it out of existence.

…

She let out a breath. She breathed in… and pushed it out again.

Her heart stopped racing; the sound of it faded to silence, and she breathed in…

And she blinked.

Looked down, at the constellation of glinting shards beneath her feet. Her bare feet.

Oh, Noie thought, and there was a rush of shame that set her cheeks on fire.

Oh, she should not have done what she just did. Why did she do that? Why on Earth did she do that?

She tried to shift her feet, but there was broken glass everywhere and no shit you idiot, what did you expect was going to happen? You chucked glass at your feet!

Noie cringed. Stars, she actually did that. She did that, she just straight up lost her temper and snapped - she actually snapped, and broke a glass, and now she was stuck here in this completely avoidable situation that was all her fault… What was she thinking?!

What was wrong with her?

What was she going to do?

She looked around, but there was just glass everywhere. It was just everywhere she looked. Everywhere she tried to move her feet. Everywhere, and staring at it all made her brain go blank.

Maybe in time, Noie would’ve gotten it working again, and would’ve come up with a solution on her own. Maybe she wouldn’t have, and was going to stand there, bluescreening until someone found her the next morning. She truly didn’t know, and at that moment, there was a noise from behind her that ensured she’d never have to.

The sound of feet sliding down tile made her turn. The voice made her look up, and gape.

“Psst, kid.” Lucy Ann was sitting right above her. She’d clambered over to the corner of Noie’s roof, and now those red eyes were peering down at her. She watched with wide eyes as the vampire extended one clawed hand... and reached out to her.

“Let me getcha out of that,” Lucy Ann said, and motioned her to come up. “C’mon, take my hand.”

Noie stared at her, and her hand.

“Come on, it’s alright.” She flashed a fanged smile. “I know I literally look like a six year old, but I promise I can lift ya.”

After another moment of hesitation, a glance around the driveway for some other way out… she swallowed hard, and started reaching up.

Slowly, nervously, she touched, then grasped Lucy Ann’s hand. The vampire felt like ice, and it occurred to Noie how tiny she was; she was really holding onto the vampire’s wrist.

That was not reassuring, but before she could change her mind Lucy Ann pulled her up onto the roof with the ease of someone pulling a damp towel out of the washing machine. The next thing she knew she was on the tile, and that deceptively strong vampire was looming over her, touching her legs wait what was she-

“You got a bit of glass here.” Lucy Ann picked a shard off the end of her leggings and flicked it away. “That’s the only big one I see, but I’d do a change of clothes before jumping in bed. You humans really don’t do well with this stuff - makes you bleed all over the place, and that’s just wasteful.”

Noie jerked her legs back, then gulped when those red eyes turned back on her. Lucy Ann didn’t look angry; the vampire’s gaze was steady, calm, carefully neutral, and made her want to melt into the ground.

She should probably say something right about now, shouldn’t she.

“U-um-” Noie started. She cleared her throat. “Th-thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She opened her mouth-

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re still the worst.” Lucy Ann’s chuckle was caustic. “You’re not ‘Would-Leave-In-A-Field-Of-Broken-Glass’ the worst, but I just thought I’d make that clear.”

“Oh…” Noie leaned away from her. “Uh, o-okay- good… good to know.”

“Like you know how I’m still stuck in your yard fearing for my life because you won’t let Alcor help? Gotta tell you, I’m now way less worried about death by angel now that I’m literally dying of boredom.” She bared her teeth at Noie. “You know what I was doing when I heard you come out here?”

“Um, I-”

“You’re not gonna guess. I was playing Jenga with grass.”

“Wh- wait, what?”

“Jenga with grass. Humans still play Jenga, right?” Lucy Ann mimed stacking her fingers. “You make a tower with a bunch of blocks, three of them go this way, three of them go that way, then you try and-”

“No, I know that ga-”

“Then you know it’s not supposed to be played with grass!” She giggled, and there was a desperate edge to it. “Noooo, it does not translate, but you know what - I had time to kill! And grass. To kill… Hey, by the way, why do you guys have a lawn out back? You live in a desert, it’s freaky.”

She scooted back. “Um…”

“You want to leave, don’t you.”

“I don’t… I mean, I-”

“Hey, I do too! You know, just saying.”

Noie cringed at her expression. She could see how this would be frustrating, but how was she supposed to explain everything was going to be fine?

Because it was going to be fine, but it was complicated, and… ugh, what was she saying. She definitely owed it to Lucy Ann to try.

With that thought in mind, she took a deep breath, and held up her hands. “Okay, okay, look-”

“Oh, I can tell this is gonna annoy the shit out of me already.”

Noie gritted her teeth. “No, this isn’t- can I just explain the plan, please?”

“Yup. Gonna annoy the shit out of me.”

“In just a few days, there’s going to be someone who’s going to, um, help my brother with what he’s got going on-”

Lucy Ann crossed her arms. “You mean you’re gonna hire an exorcist?”

“Uh… yeah, kinda.”

“Not gonna work, kid.”

“It’s gonna-”

“Like, even in the scenario where Dipper is just possessed - which he’s not - there’s no way you’re exorcising Alcor the Dreambender.” She snorted at the thought. “Also just saying, if you’re denying this cause you’re worried about Dipper, the scenario where he is Alcor sounds a whole lot better to me than the one where he’s being possessed by Alcor. Like in version two you’re going up against literally the most powerful demon known to Earth, so… be glad that’s not reality, maybe?”

Noie frowned at her. “He’s not a demon. Look, this is going to work-”

“Ohhh my stars it’s not though-”

“The person I have, it’s- he’s a… he’s a special case, okay?”

“The fuck does that even mean.”

“You’ll- uh, just trust me, okay? He’s got this plan all worked out-”

“Wait, he’s got this plan worked out?”

“Yeah?” Noie frowned as she sat up. “I mean, that’s the plan, and-”

“Whose plan?”

“I mean, that’s the plan-”

“Who made the plan? The exorcist guy you’re hiring?” Lucy Ann narrowed her eyes. “Who is he, actually? Is he an actual licensed exorcist?”

She leaned away. “Uh, why are you so interested all of a-”

“Cause I’m telling you right now that no decent exorcist would ever take on an Alcor possession; they know they can’t touch him. You say his name in one of their offices, they will turn you away and call the police so fast… ” Lucy Ann looked back at Noie. “But I’m getting off track. Point is, you probably hired some kook, or… well, you most likely hired some kook, but I want to know his name.”

She stretched a smile. “His… name?”

“Oh my stars, please tell me you know his name.”

“No no, it’s just, um… I-I don’t think he has one?” She watched Lucy Ann’s eyes widen. “I mean, I don’t think he’ll be bad at exorcising-”

“Then that’s specifically the problem, isn’t it!”

“Wh-what’s wrong? Why are you-”

“Cause now you’ve got a guy - you don’t know his name - who’s heard this story about Alcor and is telling you he can make your problems go away when he full well knows he can’t!” She stared at Noie’s bewildered expression. “Do you not see that that this is bad? And he’s got a ‘plan’ for- wait, do you actually know what the plan is? When’s it supposed to-”

“He’s getting things set up. It’s fine.” Noie scooted towards the edge of the roof. “Look, he just wants to help, I have to trust him, a-and it’s not like he’s manipulating me or anything - I don’t have to do what he says! Like, I got you that blood pack even when he, um… didn’t want me to talk to you, um, and-”

“Wait, what? What was all of that just now?!”

There was genuine horror on Lucy Ann’s face, and that made Noie cringe. “Look, can I go now? I didn’t explain it well, it’s not that bad-”

“Not that bad?! Do you hear yourself right now?”

“I’m, um, gonna go inside now-”

“No, wait!”

Lucy Ann shot forwards and seized her arm. She flinched at the cold grip. “Hey-!”

“Stop. ” Lucy Ann caught her other shoulder. “Listen to me, Noie. Who is this guy?”

“I told you I don’t know his name-”

“No. No. Don’t act dumb. You can tell me more than his name and you know it.”

She squirmed under her gaze. “Uh… I don’t-”

“This guy told you to keep this plan a secret, didn’t he.” Lucy Ann gripped her tighter. “Noie, I guarantee you he did that because he knows it’s bullshit, and he knows you don’t know any better.”

“I-I don’t think-”

“No, stop. Stop thinking you know things, because you don’t and this plan is a ruse for something. Don’t you see how quickly it fell apart when you talked to someone who actually knows about demons? Use your head, Noie. You’re getting played.”

“That’s not-”

“You’re getting played, and you need to tell me what’s going on so I can help.” She made a face. “And I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna need Alcor, too.”

“Wha- no!” Noie shook her head. “No! He’s not a demon!”

“But he- ugh, look, nevermind. I’m not gonna argue that with you right now, so just tell me about the exorcist guy.”

Lucy Ann stared Noie down, and she was at a loss for words; her mouth opened and closed like a fish, and she tried to move back but the vampire didn’t budge. She’d gotten herself stuck, again, and now she really needed to think up of a way out of this. She needed to say something, anything-

And to her surprise, that was when words came out of her mouth.

“No.” Noie heard herself say. “You’re not on my side. You’re just trying to use me to get to my brother.”

In the stunned silence that followed, that was when the anger came. Really? Was this what was going on? Was Lucy Ann seriously just using her?

She clenched her fists. It made sense, in a way. It was possible.

“Wait, what?” Lucy Ann gave a confused chuckle. “I’m doing what now?”

“You know what you’re doing - you’re lying! You’re trying to make me doubt my plan, but I can see through your plan!” Noie stabbed a finger at the vampire, and suddenly she was leaning back. “You’re trying to destroy Dipper!”

“What are you- are you being serious right now?”

“Of course I am! You listen here-”

“Noie-”

“-Dipper is my brother, and he’s not a demon-”

“Noie, wh-”

“-and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep him safe from the likes of you!”

Lucy Ann just stared at her like she’d grown a second head. The vampire opened her mouth to reply, but she’d heard enough, she needed to go inside, so could she please get these hands OFF OF HER-

“Noie, I don’t- agh!” The vampire jerked back with a shout, clutching her hands to her body. “Ow! Fuck! Argh, what the hell was that? That hurt!”

Wordlessly, Noie rose to her feet. She glared down at the vampire, fists clenched, and watched her hiss and swear for another few seconds before unclasping her arms.

“Shit, that hurt. What was that?” She glanced down at her hands, “That almost, that almost… felt, like…”

And confusion turned to utter terror at the dark, smoking burns that were seared into her palms. Skin had turned to ash around the wounds, and she could only watch as the breeze came and whisked it away, scattered it into the open air.

Then Lucy Ann turned that terrified expression onto Noie, and she felt… something.

“Y-you burned me.” The vampire spoke in a shaking voice. “You… y-you’re with the angel, aren’t you? He’s the guy behind this plan of yours…” She held her hands out. “Noie, please listen to me, whatever he told you-”

Noie felt herself surge forwards. The vampire jumped back and her foot slipped on the slanted roof; she toppled to earth with a cry.

Noie watched her land amongst the shards, and that made her smile for some reason.

Wait, why was she smiling? Well, that vampire did something bad, right? She lied, she hurt Dipper, she should be afraid of her.

They should be afraid of me.

Yeah, that made sense. Think of all the times that vampire had trapped her, tried to coerce her, tried to control her into giving up her brother. Well, now she was in control!

I am in control.

That made sense. She was in control, and that vampire was down on the ground, helpless, screaming out for her dark lord to save her… but Alcor wasn’t going to come, was he?

No. No, there was only Noie, and the light of coming dawn.

It looked so helpless down there, didn’t it?

So pathetic.

My fists clench, and I can’t help but smile wide at the thought of...

Of smiting this creature?

Noie blinked. Wait, what? She didn’t want to kill Lucy Ann! Where the fuck did that come from?

That was when she heard a voice:

Do not be alarmed, child.

And became aware of a presence in her mind that was not her own.

“You!” Noie felt like cold water had been dumped over her; she started trembling. “What are you doing in my mind?!”

Answering your call for assistance, replied the angel, and stars it was weird to hear a mental voice besides her own. You were afraid, and being accosted by a vampire. Would you prefer I had not stepped in?

“Uh, I’d prefer it if you didn’t try and kill people!”

“Oh, what the fuck…” Down on the ground, Lucy Ann was staring at Noie with a mix of astonishment and horror. She darted for the front door and started banging on it. “Alcor! Alcor, you gotta get up! You gotta help me!”

She was so loud, Noie was shaken out of her thoughts by a sudden fear. “What are you doing? Stop, you’re gonna get caught!”

“Alcor! Alcor, help!”

“Lucy Ann!” Noie somewhat awkwardly dropped herself off the roof, and came rushing over. “Wait, Lucy Ann-”

She reached out a hand and Lucy Ann violently recoiled from it. The fear in her eyes didn’t make her feel good anymore; it made her feel awful, and she struggled to explain.

“No, don’t be scared! L-look, I know the angel thing is weird, but I’m not gonna let you die!” She clenched her fingers, and unclenched them. “I’m still in control. I’m not gonna let it hurt you, I just need it to help Dipper-”

“You’re delusional. You’re completely delusional. Alcor!”

“Wait!” Noie reached for her again but she darted away. “Don’t- argh! Great, yeah, go wake up the whole neighborhood! I’m going inside!”

She opened the front door and shut it hard behind her. The house was echoing with Lucy Ann’s voice, and she cringed - shit, Grandpa was awake for sure. Any second now, he’d be coming round the corner and she had no idea what she’d say to him-

He is not awake.

The angel again. She frowned. “What do you mean? How do you know that?”

I have been able to keep your elders dreaming and ignorant of the confrontation… for the time being. The angel’s voice sounded quieter, and almost strained. But child, this is an unholy place. The Dreambender’s presence is strong here… overpowering. It saps my strength. You must protect them in my stead.

Noie nodded quickly and went to get a pen. The angel kept talking.

I feared an incident like this taking place. The vampire tried to lead you astray, and I sense the seeds of doubt it has sown within you. The angel sighed. The plan will be moved forwards to tomorrow morning; it is not ideal, but I fear delay will let them sprout, and jeopardise my work entirely. And the vampire will be dealt with.

She heard that, and stopped. “Dealt with?”

Do not worry, child. Some nearby humans have already called the police on the vampire; they will take it away, and I will deal with it from there.

“What? Don’t do that! Don’t kill her!”

You feel strongly about this. Why? You won’t have to be involved-

“Because that’s not my problem with you killing her! My problem is you killing her…” Noie shook her head. “Oh, my stars, you’re actually… you’re trying to… What is wrong with y- argh!”

Noie clutched her temples at a flash of light. Her head felt like it was on fire, and the angel’s voice was painfully loud.

Do not ask that of an angel. Ask yourself instead why you let your human emotions run unchecked, why you let them jump to such wild accusations of my character.

Her vision swam. Her legs wobbled. She clutched the counter to keep herself from hitting the ground.

Of course I was not suggesting anything improper by apprehending the vampire. ‘Dealt with’ was meant to imply keeping it secure and out of the way, lest it hinders our plan. Lest it gets your brother killed.

Human, my intentions are pure. My conscience is clear. I know I am doing what is right. If you must question me, let me ask you this: can you say the same for yourself?

Noie didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. She heard Lucy Ann calling for Alcor, and she pressed her hands against her ears and shook her head, grit her teeth, held back the scream in her throat-

Then, suddenly, she felt better.

You give a truthful answer. Good. The truth is painful, but it is the only way to forgiveness.

Shakily, she picked herself up from the counter. Looked around her house with wide eyes, like she was seeing it for the first time.

“Alcor! Alcor!”

Hearing her for the first time. She felt herself grimace.

You will continue to defend the vampire, won’t you. I suppose I have no choice but to leave it be… so long as you keep it from interfering in my plans - that, I cannot tolerate. But for now…

Noie grabbed a pen from the counter. She walked over to the door, kneeled down, and carefully etched something into the baseboard. It began to glow a steady blue, and Lucy Ann’s cries faded to eerie silence.

I suppose this ward will suffice.

Noie stared at the ward she’d drawn. She’d never learned how to do that, but there it was.

She did it for Dipper. To keep him safe.

A frown. Yes, that made sense.

Good work, child. The angel’s voice seemed to fade. I cannot remain here any longer. You must bring Dipper to me in the morning… you will know where to go. In the meantime, keep him safe.

At all costs, keep him safe.

Noie nodded. “Keep him safe. That makes sense. I can do that.”

She stared at the brightening sky, and clenched her fists.

“I can do that.”

#transcendence au #Noie #dipper #Noie's Brother #toothwrites

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emhpathy · 6 years ago

Text

Begin Again Ch.2 (m)

Jaehyun x Reader smut, angst, fluff

word count: 2,542

warning: swearing

After you texted Jaehyun, you made something to eat, took a relaxing shower and went straight to bed, cuddling your dog until you fell asleep. The next morning you woke up an hour before your usual time and couldn't fall asleep again.

You unlock your phone and see a new message from Jaehyun

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Yeah, it's fine by me too. Sorry I didn't text you back last night, I was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as I got home,” you are typing a reply when you get a new notification

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Are you up yet? We could meet to grab a coffee and talk a little, maybe?” You weren't expecting that so soon but get excited anyways, “I know we barely talked but I'm kind of old fashioned and I like to talk in person lol.” Cute.

[New message to Jaehyun]: “Hi! I'm up and don't worry about last night, it happens to me all the time lol Coffee sounds great! Just send me the address and I'll see you in a bit?”

He texts you the adress, turns out that the coffee shop was near the bakery where you worked, which was great and could save you some time.

You take a quick shower and put on your clothes. A jeans overall, a plain black t-shirt and your snickers. You have never been a fan of heavy make up, you hated wasting more time than necessary in the morning and definetely did not like the sensation of having tons of different products on your face, so you just apply a thin layer of mascara and head out to the coffee shop. On your way there you remember to text Luna

[New message to Luna]: “wake upppppppppp. i'm omw to grab a coffee with Jaehyun. maybe i'm expecting too much but whatever. he seems nice and made the first move (:” you hit send and giggle to yourself. You know Luna will be pissed because Jungwoo haven't took the first step yet, neither did she. They both liked each other but were too shy to admit it.

You get at your destination first, finding a couple sitting at the corner of the small store and two people waiting in line. Since it was too early in the morning and the coffee shop was still empty, you pick a table and decide to sit close to the door. You don't know Jaehyun’s preferences and don’t want to seem rude drinking and eating before him, so you choose to wait. You take your phone out of your purse and see that you have 4 new messages from Luna and 1 from Jaehyun. You read his first.

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Hey, I'm sorry I'm late, I'm on my way. One of my roommates was not feeling well and I had to help him”

[New message to Jaehyun]: “No problem. I walked here and the place is near home, so don't worry, you're not late. And hey, there's only me and a couple sitting here, so it shouldn't be hard to find me lol,” you text him and open Luna's chat

[New message from Luna]: “wHAT”

[New message from Luna]: “i’m kinda jealous tho”

[New message from Luna]: “anyway GOOD LUCK ALEJDKSLSLDJ”

[New message from Luna]: “Jaehyun looks >>>really<<< good and he is very sweet,” you both overreacted a little bit at times, so you choose to believe Jaehyun was just a normal guy and Luna was being, well, Luna, “he has this cute bread face and the cutest dimp–“

“Y/N?”

You slowly look up and your eyes widen in shock

What the fuck.

You see the personification of an angel in front of you. Jaehyun is beautiful. He is wearing a striped purple flannel and black jeans. His chestnut hair is styled down and makes him look like a teenager. Your eyes grow big at his striking features and how his tongue pokes out to wet his lower lip.

You must've spent a lot of time looking at him, cause you hear him calling your name again

“Y/N, are you okay?” The owner of the deep voice asks, making you snap out of your trance

“Y-yes! Hi! Sit down!” you gesture to him, a little embarrassed

“I’m sorry I'm late, I had to make sure my roommate was alright before leaving” he apologizes and you just nod, not completely out of your astonishment

“S-sure, don't worry about it, I've been here for a couple of minutes, so you're fine! But is your roommate okay?”

“Yeah, he is, thanks for asking. He got wasted last night and wasn't feeling well,” he half smiles and a fucking dimple appears on his cheek. “But tell me about you, we literally know nothing about each other other than our names.”

“Yeah, you're right! Well, I work at a – wait, we haven't ordered yet,” you realize and ask him what he wants

“A medium iced Americano, please” he smiles briefly and you walk to the cashier ordering an Americano for him, a capuccino for yourself, and two chocolate cookies. You wait for your name to be called and text Luna in the mean time

[New message to Luna]: “YOU COW, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT JAEHYUN IS A GOD? HOW DARE YOU?” You text her and remember you didn’t finish reading her last message. She actually mentioned his dimples and how sweet he was, but she also said that he doesn't open up easily, which intrigued you. You were about to ask her why when the barista calls your name. You lock your phone and put it into your pocket. You thank the guy and go back to your table.

Jaehyun is messing with his phone and you put his coffee and the cookies in front of him

“Thank you, Y/N, I should pay you back,” he takes his wallet out of his pocket

“No! It's on me, don't worry,” you tell him, he nods and thanks you

Jaehyun told you he is an elementary teacher, which surprised you, but he explained that he has a niece that he adores, and she made him want to work with kids. Also, he said that he's turning 25 in a few days but wasn’t going to celebrate it because he isn’t a party person anymore. He also mentioned his roommates, Johnny and Jungwoo. They've met at college and have been living together since then. Other than that he didn't mention much about his personal life. You didn't want to pressure him, this was your first proper conversation, he didn't have to tell you everything about him.

“So, now tell me about you,” Jaehyun says and drink his coffee

“Well, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm 22 years old, I work at a bakert. By the way, you should stop by some day, it's just a few blocks from here,” you suggest

“Sure, that sounds cool! How long do you work there?” he asks and you start to feel melancholic

“Well, I have always loved cakes, that shouldn't be a surprise cause who doesn't?!” you joke and laugh, Jaehyun laughs too and nods, agreeing with you, “so when I was younger, my grandpa taught me my first recipe,” you start talking and glance at Jaehyun. He looks adorable. His bangs are spread all over his forehead, his hair look really soft.

You've noticed that everytime he was focused paying attention, his mouth stayed slightly opened and he nodded unknowingly. He was attentive, you liked that about him.

“So thanks to him I started taking baking classes. After a year I decided that I wanted to work work with it and tried to find a job related to it. It wasn't easy, I was young, inexperienced and honestly didn't have anything to offer, but I wanted to learn. So one day I met June.” Jaehyun notices that you started bitting your bottom lip and avoiding eye contact

The thing about being an elementary teacher is that they deal with different kids everyday, so they are aware of the fact that every kid reacts to a situation differently. Some of Jaehyun students had the habit of fidgeting with their legs when they were nervous, others, with their hands. One of the girls had the habit of curling the strands of her hair when she was overthinking. One of the guys couldn't look at Jaehyun's face when he was lying. Jaehyun payed attention to all of that and he noticed when you started to get uncomfortable talking about June.

“Y/N, you don't have to talk about–” he starts talking but you interrupt, “No, don't worry, I wanna talk. It's just, I haven't talked about this in a while but it's okay” you tell him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am,” you assure him. “I lost my grandma when I was a baby, so I don't have memories of her other than pictures and some stories that my granpa told me, so June was kind of my grandma figure” you gaze at Jaehyun and feel that he's actually listening to you, not just hearing, “she was my first boss, she had taught me everything I know now.” You remember how difficult it was to convince June that you were willing to learn what she had to teach you. At first, you helped her with anything she needed in exchange of her teaching you about baking and confections. After a year and a couple months, and a lot of pleads, June had let you put your first cake at the bakery's display. You still remember how you felt when she told you that you had sold your first cake

“June told me her secrets, how to treat the customers properly and she gave me a lot of advices that I will carry with me forever,” Jaehyun was smiling sweetly at you. “She treated me like her granddaughter. But she nagged a lot at me too,” you two laugh and you carry on, “but everything I know now is thanks to her.”

“What happened to her?” Jaehyun questions

“She passed away a couple of years ago.” You see Jaehyun's eyes widen

“Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked,” he apologizes

“It's okay,” you smile, “It was a difficult time but she always said that I should be a strong woman and learn how to deal with shit life throws at me, losing a loved one being one of them” you lock eyes with Jaehyun and he nods

“But anyway. June didn't have any inheritor, so she left the bakery to me,” Jaehyun seems surprised, and to be honest, so did you when you found out that you were the owner of the place that you loved so much

“Really?!”

“Yes, really. I don't like to say that I'm the owner of the place because June started everything, she started from the bottom, so I really don't feel like I own it. Legally, yes, but it's only because of her,” you explain to him. “I only told you this because you are cute and a good listener,” you flirt a little and you could see his dimples showing on his cheeks

“I’m glad you feel comfortable enough around me to tell me about it”, he says and smiles, allowing you to see for the first time the crinkles on his face. They make him seem adorable

“I think my story took longer than I expected,” you joke, “but I should go. I need to open the bakery and I don't want you to get late either” he agrees and you two get out of your seats, heading to the door.

“I'm glad we talked today, Y/N” Jaehyun starts talking, “I didn't want you to feel forced to talk to me only because your friend wanted you to,” he seems genuine, “but I'm happy you texted back and we had this, mmm, kind of date?!” his ears turn red, and you find that extremely lovable, but agrees nevertheless

“I didn't want you to feel forced either. To be honest I wasn't expecting us to meet so soon but I'm happy we did, and I hope we can keep talking?” you enquire. “Sure, that sounds good” he agrees and tells you he would text you later. You wave him goodbye and head to your work.

Jaehyun was easy to talk to. You noticed that he was kind of shy, and more of a listener than a talker, but he was willing to have a conversation with you and you felt lucky for that. It was a good way to start your day.

You walk a few blocks until the bakery and see that Mark is already at the door waiting for you

“Hi fat head,” you greet him and he pouts while you unlock the door

“Hey, my head is not that big, ok?” He whines

You roll your eyes and smile to your friend, “Sure, baby,” you both enter the bakery and Mark goes straight to the cash register.

You hired him after he mentioned how hard it was to find a job. You have always found Mark smart and fully capable and you trusted him, so you offered him a part-time job as a cashier, since he had to go to college and take care of his younger brother sometimes.

It was good to have him working with you. You never said it out loud, but you felt happy whenever Mark was around. After Luna tried setting you both up, you two decided to stay friends. He still flirted with you sometimes, but in a friendly way. He had made clear that he adored you and loved being your friend, and said that maybe you didn't feel attracted to him because you were meant to be just friends. You agreed with him.

You go to the kitchen and start reading your orders for the day.

After hours, you take a moment to rest. You have always loved baking, it put you in a good mood. There was moments in your life were you randomly went to the kitchen, to divert your mind out of a concern and relieve stress. You love what you do.

You look for your phone and notice that you have a new message from Jaehyun

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Thank you for today, I had a pleasant time. I hope we can get to know more about each other,” you crack a smile and start typing a message to him when Mark comes rushing through the kitchen’s door

“Y/N... there's a, mm... customer, demanding to talk to you,” he sounds anxious and you wonder if there's something wrong with one of your cakes

“Did something happen?”

“N-no, he just, wants to talk” You barely had any problems with your orders. Every time a mistake happened it was due to the lack of explanation from the customer, not yours.

“Why are you so agitated?” You said, heading towards the front of the store, with Mark following your steps, “If you did something wrong tell me now and we can fix it”,

“No, I didn't do anything, I promise, it's your–“ Mark was interrupted by a voice, a voice that you have never forgotten

“Y/N!”

No. No. No.

Note: hi! I hope this isn't too boring, i wanted you guys to know more about y/n and a little about Jaehyun lol hope you like it, thank you for reading and feel free to send asks!

happyjaehyunday <3

#nct scenario #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #begin again #happyjaehyunday

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selkiestory · 5 years ago

Text

It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep that night even if a stranger was sharing his bed. He made sure he planted himself firmly on the opposite side of the bed. Too bad Marcas didn’t know that Aed rolled about in his dreams, but when the redhead woke in the middle of the night - limbs sprawled and foot pressed firmly against the the other teen’s back - his guest remained sound asleep.

‘“I’m used to sleeping in the waves”’ Marcas would probably say.’

Aed pulled the covers over himself again and squinted at the bright light. He forgot to move his curtains back and the full moon shone over the ocean, but also right into his eyes.

It was quiet.

One last calm night before summer turned to fall. The redhead grunted and rolled away from the window to face the door. It was too comfortable to get up and draw the blind.

As he waited for sleep to return he studied the other’s resting profile. His companion’s long hair gave the image of spilled ink on his ridiculously pale skin. The teen admitted that the other was handsome, but it was strange for someone as fit as Marcas to be so fair. Only hard work outside could result in muscles like those. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Marcas refused to put his pyjamas on after coming back from the shower. It had taken much persistence to convince the teen to at least wear some boxers before they went to bed. The only piece of clothing Marcas seemed comfortable with was his cloak, which he now had tightly in his grip as if it were a safety blanket.

The thought made Aed snicker. He quickly grabbed a pillow and pressed it over his head to muffle the noise. What a strange day today was.

Well he might as well get more rest. The teen leaned into the darkness of the pillow and, after what seemed like hours, finally went back to sleep.

The next morning the teen woke to an empty bed. For a split second he considered all of yesterday to be a dream before seeing his clean room and Marcas’ discarded set of clothes. Shivering in the morning air Aed quickly dressed - the usual collared shirt and sweater - and went downstairs.

“After all, Aed doesn’t let just anyone into his room.”

“I really appreciate this. I won’t let you down.”

‘Well that’s that.’ His parents had come to their decision rather quickly. It was embarrassing that his Mam had to mention him, though. He waited another moment before slipping into the dining room and making a beeline for the kitchen.

“There’s some left overs on the stove,” Flann patted the space next to her, “after you heat them up please come here. I have something to discuss with you.”

“I know already. Marcas is staying,” Aed flicked the stove on and waited for the oatmeal to warm, “but are you ok with me not working with Dad?”

“You know we support you no matter what.” The teen ducked his head to hide a blush.

Marcas entered the kitchen and began washing his bowl. He offered Aed a smile and waited for him before they both returned to the living room.

“I have to go to work, now, so please clean up after yourselves. Aed, I’m waiting for a form to go though. You should be starting by Friday.”

Flann leaned over and Aed gave her a one-armed hug.

“Have a good one, Mam.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. Remember to put some water on before I come home!”

The room went quiet as Aed started on his oatmeal. It was a bit awkward with Marcas just sitting there, but at least someone was home.

“So what túath are you?”

He paused from his oatmeal and gave the teen a blank stare.

Marcas elaborated upon noticing his confusion, “Ui Fidgente? Ciarraige Luachra? Corca Duibhne?”

Oh. The old tribes.

“Don’t know. Grandparents probably told me, but forgot.”

“Hm.” Marcas seemed to be scrutinizing him.

“What? That was ages ago,” he took a gulp of milk in his defense, “...what’s your tribe?”

“Murtagh. What do humans do then now days?”

“We have regular families and surnames. For example I'm Aed Carrick.”

“So you grew apart?”

“...” He had never thought of it in that way before, “Not really...I mean, annoying as she is, I don't hate Ena. My Grandma and Grandpa come often. And everyone in the village more or less gets along.”

The younger looked perplexed, then shrugged as if he just accepted that things were different.

“I guess I’ll be meeting them soon enough.”

Deciding to cut the chatter Aed cleared his throat.

“About last night...”

To his surprise, Marcas broke eye contact, the teen suddenly finding Aed’s oatmeal very interesting. Aed narrowed his eyes.

“What did you do?” If he stole anything...

“It got really hot. But if you saw, then you saw that I kept my cloak on.”

“Oh uhh” That was not what he expected...must have happened after he fell asleep, “I wasn’t talking about that.”

“Oh.” Marcas ran a hand through his hair, “then...what?”

“My research. If you’re going to help me, you’re going to need to learn how to read... and write since you probably can’t do that either.”

He saw the younger take on a guarded look, but pressed on.

“You’ll need to jot down figures for me and note descriptions of coastlines at the very least.”

After realizing that he wasn’t being made fun of, Marcas’ expression relaxed into a lazy smile.

“Alright. When do we start?”

“Now is better than never,” he crammed the rest of the oatmeal down, his mind buzzing with plans. A big swallow and he gagged. Shit. Wrong pipe.

His glass was pressed to his lips and he took it gratefully. The younger patted his back as he choked his way through the last of his meal, too busy getting air into his lungs than to shrink away from the teen’s touch.

“Thanks…” the redhead finally managed after a few minutes.

“Anything for a friend,” Marcas replied, hand comfortably resting at the base of Aed’s lower back.

Aed quickly pushed back his chair and tidied the kitchen instructing the other to meet him in his room.

The teen was lounging on his bed when he returned.

“It’s so weird, but I can definitely get used to beds.” Marcas bounced a bit, “there were some of them on Blasket, but they were all banged up. ‘Too busy partying anyway to use em, even if they were fixed. I like em though. They’re softer than rocks.”

“What do you mean? Blasket was abandoned a while ago” Aed shuffled through his books trying to find a simple enough one begin with. Creatures of the West Atlantic, 1000 Leagues Under the Sea, Earth Encyclopedia... He didn’t have any children’s books come to think of it.

“Which is why it’s the perfect spot for us. The times when we turn human could be dangerous if actual humans see us.”

Aed threw him a look that the redhead made sure clearly conveyed his exasperation.

It was hard to ignore ridiculous claims if they were shoved into his face at every opportunity. Yesterday, only his mentally exhausted state caused him to consider the teen’s story to be real.

“You really are stubborn,” Aed bristled at Marcas’ amused tone, “I thought you would be more accepting to the otherworld considering you were able to call me.”

The teen gave up on his shelf and considered his options. He could go to the library tomorrow and borrow some kids books (and get strange looks), or he could try and nick one from the school library when he went to check on his experiment he left behind. But if he got caught that would mean more questions...

He heard Ena’s voice from downstairs and smacked his head. Of course. Ena had most of his hand-me-downs.

Aed left the bedroom and opened the door to his parent’s room where his sister slept. He picked a thick alphabet book (the chew marks from raising two children had considerably worn down the pages) and tossed it to Marcas when he returned.

“Come to the desk. You aren’t going to learn if you lie around all day.”

“Alright, Mr. Carrick,” the younger plopped down on the single chair and smoothed out the creases in his jeans. He picked up the book and smirked at the bite marks.

“I didn’t know you guys had a dog.”

“It’s Ena’s,” Aed noted with appreciation that the book was held correctly this time. The kid seemed to be a fast learner.

Having no other option he leant against the corner of his desk and pointed at the first brightly colored letter “So there’s the alphabet, and each letter…”

---

When he woke there was an empty spot next to him. Again. For someone so chatty, Marcas could be quite stealthy when he wanted to.

A bit of cautious hope rose with him as he got out of bed and dressed. Today would be the day they both started their jobs and resumed his research. Although they hadn’t made enough progress yesterday to actually begin reading instructions, Aed had given him a test: report back on the patterns of deep sea currents during the week. Those were easy enough to remember to ask, that making tallies would suffice. Although not exactly what he wanted to look for, he had data to compare to that at least...it still felt foolish that he was going along with the teen, but it was the only way today was going to feel productive.

“Me first!”

Before he could open the bathroom door, a flash of orange ran inside.

Sometimes it’d be nice to be an only child…

While his sister hogged the bathroom he stole a few more books from her room. His Mam was already downstairs. Dressed and ate breakfast by now, too. He understood. After all, she was the one who taught them to always arrive to things 15 minutes beforehand.

“Look at you, so handsome on your first day. Your tie is so straight!”

“Yeah-yes. I still remember how to do it from graduation.” Aed muttered as he bent down so Flann could push back his hair. Every last bit of red in its place.

“I know you’ll be fine at any job. Just remember to smile.”

And they were in the open air. The sky was grey, and the sea smelled extremely fishy. Aed couldn’t see anyone out among the waves…

They dropped Ena off at school then walked back through town past the grocer's and the post office, past the three pubs and the bed-and-breakfast to the little white bank on the end of mainstreet. When they entered he recognized a couple of his former classmates chatting in the back, and quickly sought out work. He already started later than them, so he had to play catch up. There was no time to socialize.

After being introduced to the bank manager, Osirin, he was sent to work. Sorting mail was plain enough, but book keeping was especially dull when it wasn’t for research. At least then he could visualize the meaning behind the numbers.

When 5 o’clock came, the teen had to contain himself from sprinting out the doors.

As soon as they stepped inside, Ena charged. Flann chuckled as Aed blocked Ena, the youngest Carrick switching to cling to her Mother instead. His sister stuck out a small hand and waved a bright pink paper at Aed.

“We had free time so I drew!“

He was able to discern that the crude image depicted two people fishing...but the fat grey ovals in the water were too big to be fish.

“It’s Dad, Marcas, and Marcas’ family,” the girl proudly explained.

Aed rolled his eyes.

The three had finished their dinner and Aed helped Ena with homework before retreating to his room. All of the books from yesterday’s ‘reading class’ were still stacked on his desk. He gave them a long look before busying himself with changing. Research would need to be done in order to teach efficiently on the days when Marcas returned. Luckily Cárnach was small, so boats came back almost every weekend. The easiest way would be to ask Ena. She was still in primary school, so she’d remember her curriculum.

He peeked into her room. Fast asleep.

Returning to his room he flipped through the books for a few minutes before pacing to the window. The sea was vast. A contradiction of pitch-black water and shimmering light from another clear night...but he still could not see any boats in the distance.

It could have been him out there in the dark sleeping above the fish. His father must have seen something in Marcas to take him abroad within a day of meeting him. But then again, he had spoken up for Marcas and his Dad had always respected his opinion.

He was glad. Glad how quickly his family had accepted the teen. It was almost too easy how Marcas settled in. If he really was a selkie, wouldn’t he want to go back to the sea as quickly as possible? In the stories they always left. But then again in stories they were always beautiful ladies. This was different. Marcas would return.

His gut feeling nagged at him. Did he just miss another opportunity? First uni now-no. Stop that.

The other’s story was unusual, but not enough for him to believe in selkies. And if Marcas wasn't a selkie he would have to return.

But it didn’t make sense for him to make up his story, did it? So far only he and his sister knew the teen’s ‘secret.’

He tried to sleep, but his tumultuous thoughts carried him off as slowly as a feather drowning in the open sea.

---

Come the end of the week the selkie had the biggest smile on his face as he stepped into the home of the Carricks. Neil followed, both chuckling as Ena initiated a tackling hug for each. Aed’s eyebrows shot up as the teen stepped away from ruffling Ena’s hair to next approach him. Before the teen could react Marcas leaned forward and they bumped noses.

“Hey, Aed!”

“W...what are you doing?” The redhead sputtered backing away.

Given the looks on Neil and Flann’s faces, the other flushed red as well, immediately realizing his error.

“Er...where I come from, we do that when we haven’t seen each other in a long time.” The teen offered. Aed saw both his parents questioning looks, so he took another big step back turning to address his father.

“Have a good catch?”

“The best in a while! Marcas here is a natural,” Neil nodded at the shorter teen, “quite a good listener as well.”

“It was good to be back at sea, and I’ve never gone fishing on this scale. Neil’s quite a poet. I never knew!”

“Come, let’s not stand here. You two must be starving. Dinner is ready by now,” Flann gently nudged the group into the dining room.

“What was the biggest fish today?” Ena stretched her arms wider than the plate in front of her, “This big? Did you get any pink ones?”

“No pink ones today,” Neil ruffled her hair, “I’m surprised how many we got considering all the seals being ‘round the boat.”

Marcas laughed lightly.

“It was the selkies!” Ena gasped, “Can I go next time? Please, Mam, Dad?”

“It’s too dangerous.” Neil gently chided.

“But it has been a while since we all had a day out,” Flann mused, “when it’s spring next year we should go. It would be lovely to be on the boat then.”

“That sounds great,” Neil shot Aed an amused look, “the last time we were at sea was when you were just about to start high school.”

Aed remembered that summer well. The one where he tried to wear the same shirt every day to determine which bacteria would grow. Highly experimental, but not directional. He cringed.

“It’ll be a few months, but it’s better to plan ahead,” Flann decided. And they dug in.

“I assume you’ll want to resume lessons in the morning?”

“I could do a little now,” the selkie gave a yawn and rolled off their bed to join Aed at the single desk. The teen sat up and straightened the small stack of books, ready to put to practice the lesson plan he had produced.

He had gotten through twenty minutes when he felt a nudge at his arm and of course Marcas had nodded off. A little miffed the teen lightly shook his ‘student’ then prodded the younger off to bed.

“Thanks,” Marcas muttered sleepily as he snuggled under the covers. The younger stared at him, seemingly expecting something, but Aed had no idea.

“What?” he finally said.

“...Strange human,” the selkie let out a snort of laughter and rolled to face away. Aed huffed.

“Rest well, because we’re staying in and studying all day tomorrow.” He slid onto his own side of the bed and waited for sleep to come.

---

#selkie story #selkie #selkistory #artists on tumblr #oc #original story #thanks for your patience #work's been super busy and got a bit of art/writing block

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myhauntedsalem · 4 years ago

Photo

The 19 Creepiest and Weirdest Things Children Have Actually Said

5. This real-life Poltergeist: I was babysitting and didn’t know how to turn off the TV, so it was just static. My 4-year-old cousin stared into the static and said, “I see the monster”.

7. This frightening premonition: On our way to the theme park, my little cousin once told me, “You’re going to die today.”

10. This unnerving question: In the middle of the night, my little sister turned to me and said, “Do you hear them talking?” But it was dead silent…

13. This devilish boy: My 3-year-old son and I were walking in a crowded mall. He likes to say “hi” to everyone. He started “hi,” “hi,” “hi,” as people walked by, but out of nowhere he pointed at a man and said, “You’re going to die,” and then he continued with his hellos. Super creepy.

19. And this frightening conclusion: I work with kids on the autism spectrum. One of them said, “They can see us, but we can’t see them.”

#The 19 Creepiest and Weirdest Things Children Have Actually Said #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

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admirable-mairon · 6 years ago

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Update on my life and whatnot

Some of you have asked/wondered what happened in my life and just....... How I’m holding up.

Something that’s always worked for me is to simply write everything down in a long rant post, and so that is what I will do. Both for those who are curious, but also so that I will be able to put this down without having to worry about it bombarding me in every waking moment of every day.

There will be few happy things under the cut. TW for abuse (physical and verbal), trauma, threats of self-harm and suicide, mental illness, insults and harsh language. Despite all that, I promise that the post ends on a good note

Alright so where do I begin.......

Back in April I started going on Tinder and Her - Two dating apps. Not because I was looking, per se, but because I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and hopefully gain some form of confidence. I just wanted to try this whole ‘dating app’ thing out.

And well, it went........ It went better than I had expected. I met a person that I fell in fast love with, something that was ENTIERLY new for me. Sure, when I was together with my ex I loved him - and I still do - but I had never felt this intense... I don’t know. I had never felt anything this intense before. I both jot this down to this being my first ever girlfriend, AND the fact that I had gotten my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder earlier the same year (a really short and simplified description of that would be a lack of intuitive nuance.Emotions are either really bad or really good - not in between on a spectrum).

Fast forward and as the end of 2018 was creeping closer I had moved in with them, I had gotten myself a dog (whom I love very much still), we had a bigger apartment than before, I only have one year left at uni, they started talking about marriage, etc.....

And then, on the 28th of December 2018, my life completely shattered. They threatened to hit me and physically forced me to not leave their presence.

For clarification, my ex, and abuser, is a gender-fluid lesbian whose prefered pronouns are They, which is what I will refer to them as.

So how the hell did it all come about?

Well - My grandpa died last summer, my grandma lives in a home now, and so my mother is cleaning out their old house. Naturally, she asked me and my brother whether there were any things, furniture etc, that we wanted to keep. I said “I’m interested in at least one of those” and left it at that.

As I told them when they woke though, around noon, they immideately grew..... Intimidating. Scary. Turns I wasn’t allowed to keep that piece of furniture, and the fact that it had belonged to my grandfather “didn’t matter”. I refused to take that kind of talk, especially first thing in the morning, and told them that the discussion was over. I didn’t want to talk about it.

Once again, I was not allowed to say no. They kept going, and seeing as they ignored my verbal ‘no’, I took up my phone to scroll around and show them physically that I wouldn’t keep talking about it.... At which point they reached forward to take my phone from me.

My rapist used to do that - my latest abuser - and I reacted on instinct, and took it back. Seeing as my nails are long I accidentally scratched them, which they used against me even as I tried to apologize.

“You’re lucky I’m not like you, or I would have broken up with you now, because you hurt me physically”

“I know - I’m sorry! I panicked when you tried to take my phone!”

“Well that doesn’t matter. I didn’t try to take it, I tried to push it down. I COULD have just taken it and thrown it to the other side of the room and into a wall”

Aka I should be happy that it wasn’t worse.

Feeling REALLY unsettled now I tried to leave the bedroom, but I wasn’t allowed to. They PHYSICALLY placed themself in front of me and blocked my path, towering over me and refusing to let me leave. They physically blocked the doorway, but seeing as I’m stronger and heavier I managed to push myself out through a surge of adrenaline, and I ran to the bathroom so I could lock myself in until it was safe.

That didn’t happen. They ran after me and forced the door open, not letting me tug it closed no matter what I did. At this point I was desperate and screaming at them to leave me alone, but they refused. I didn’t get a choice in the matter. So finally I screamed what had been echoing subtly at the back of my head for weeks:

“It doesn’t feel like you want a girlfriend - It feels like you just want a servant!”

And that is when they raised their hand in a clear threat to hit me. They did so twice, and I was deadly afraid at this point. I screeched at them to leave me alone and all they did was keep repeating the phrase:

“What’s wrong with you? Why do you always exaggerate?”

They also physically tried to shut me up by pushing a finger onto my mouth, and I was desperate and pumped with adrenaline at that point. But I wasn’t just scared - I was also angry. Beyond angry - I was blindingly furious.

I don’t remember why atm, but they suddenly started crying about the whole ordeal, and I quite frankly said that I didn’t feel sorry for them. I was furious, and THEY threatened me, not the other way around.

Things escalated further then. They ran into the bathroom and started tearing out every single box and cupboard and shelf - all in search for razors so they could cut themself. Realizing this, of course, I threw myself after them and used all my strength to pull them back. When they didn’t find the razors (and because I held on) - They ran into the kitchen and struggled to get to our kitchen knives. Yup - I’m talking about meat knives, vegetable knives, bread knives, etc.

I managed to pull them back into the living room at which point they calmed down somewhat. I said I would call the doctor - and they promised me dearly that they would jump from the balcony if I did. They later admitted that they deliberately struggled to force me to hurt them when I restrained them, aka they used my body as a tool to self-harm.

At that point I was just......... Exhausted. Empty. Drained. And so unbelievably hurt and betrayed. But our dog needed a walk, so I took him out and called my best friend meanwhile - telling her about the situation.

I want you to understand why I didn’t leave right at that moment - I had nowhere to go. Where WOULD I go?! Gothenburg is a hellscape when it comes to finding apartments or homes, I had already paid the rent for that apartment, etc. The only reason I didn’t leave then and there was because there were too many loose strings. There were couches I could sleep on, sure - but what about an apartment? What about my own room? Where would I live safetly?

During all this time, I also updated my chosen family in Denmark about what happened, to which the response was “We will get you down here. You’re in danger. We support you in everything you do”.

I decided to stay one more day at least. I planned on writing two lists - One with pros of staying and one with cons. That, and I needed to think...... AND we were going to see the Hunchback of Notre-Dame the day after. I had waited to see that show for FIVE YEARS and I was not going to miss it because my partner decided to be an asshole.

Fast forward to the evening of the 29th. The day had gone on...... Fine. But I knew from experience that I wasn’t actually feeling it. I had no romantic feelings, no love - no affection for the human next to me other than the barest form of compassion that is “I would really like you to not die”.

I wrote the list, I read it to them, because parts of it also came down to their reaction to being told what not to do.

Well - I wouldn’t be writing this if they had realized their mistakes, would I?

The immideate response to everything was to throw blame on everyone else, on me for making them mad, for provoking them, on their mother, on their illnesses and their autism, which I shut down immideately. I have mental illnesses as well as BPD, but that doesn’t give me the right to blame ABUSE on it and refuse to correct my behaviour.

I broke up with them then, though it was in..... more careful terms than I would have wished. I wish I had just said it outright, but it’s hard to dump someone you know? I am a compassionate person - I didn’t want to crush them further, especially cause they had threatened with suicide the day before. They begged me to stay, naturally, and said they would do anything to have me stay. However, when I brought up that I would like for her to go to the doctor, while I went down to my family in Denmark, they once again refused. They wanted me to simply sit at home, because she saw it as punishment.

After a lot of going back and forth I managed to convince them to go to one of our neighbours, their best friend, while I made some calls and sorted out my brain.

I called my best friend, to sort my thoughts out, I called the doctor to get advice and information on how their routines work, and then I called my ex’s father to explain the situation. He had the right to know that his child was heavily suicidal and that I wouldn’t be there to take care of it. Furthermore, I needed him to watch our dog just for a couple of days. Not forever, but just until I was in a safe place, and had made quite a lot of calls just in case we would have to sell him on.

I also packed my stuff that night, and bought my ticket for Denmark. But what does one pack when one is running for one’s life? I packed necessities, naturally, but also valuables I didn’t need, because they had proven to be violent so I had no way of knowing they WOULDN’T destroy my things while I was gone.

They soon realized what I was doing however, as I kept in contact with both the friend and their dad, and I was ORDERED not to go to Denmark, at which point I’m honestly proud of my reply.

“If you leave for Denmark, we are over” “Great. Then the relationship is over at 10.55 tomorrow morning”

All night I also had to watch over our puppy of course - The last night I would ever spend with him, and this is the part where I usually break into tears. Even now. I can tell the rest of it with a certain cold hate - I do not mourn my relationship, but I......... I mourn my little baby boy.

He had no idea that that was the last time he would ever get to see his favourite mommy. He had no idea that he would never get to sleep on my chest again, that I would never kiss his little head or nose again, that this time Mommy would never again come back once mommy left. I’m crying now that I write this. Only now, because I miss my baby boy so much - I love him....! But I can’t take care of a dog, I barely have a home, I don’t have the time because of my studies, and while my ex doesn’t have a lot of money, they have resources. And if they can’t take care of him, I contacted his previous owner to make sure that there was a safe place he could go.

I miss my Hanzo so much that my heart breaks, and seeing little dogs downtown actually physically hurt nowadays, because I know that somewhere there’s a darling boy who will never know where his Mommy went. He will never know how much I love him.

I had to leave though, and leave I did. I called my internship and explained the situation, I contacted Hanzo’s first owner, AND surprisingly, I called my mother. I guess no matter how much anger and disappointment I have towards her - When my life shattered I really really just wanted my mom. And for the first time she actually supported me in the way I needed. She was THERE for me! I wasn’t scolded for what I had done, I wasn’t blamed for my own abuse - She actually behaved like I’ve heard mothers are supposed to.

I healed rather quick after that, or rather I put myself together thanks to my family in Denmark. There was disney, and food, and DnD and just so much love and freedom. I wasn’t even SAD that I had left - I was just so relieved and happy and free! Like I could breathe again, even though I couldn’t pinpoint when I had stopped, you know? All through it my parents and friends back home did everything they could to help me solve the issue of the fact that I was now homeless. I am so privileged and happy to have them in my life - I had help and support where many might not have. Some might not have had the opportunity I did. Some might not have been able to run away, and honestly I can imagine few things that are worse than being stuck in that kind of prison.

Remember my earlier note about being seen as a servant? Yea - that was very confirmed. The Ex tried to contact me and give me orders all through that week - talking to me like I wasn’t even a human being. There were demands and orders and things I HAD to do, things I HAD to pay, etc etc. I was insulted, compared to abusers (ironically), and overall treated like I was a mere object and possession. I called them out on it and politely told them to stop using such a derogatory tone and treat me with some form of basic human respect. The excuse for that attitude was that “Well you don’t understand simple commands unless I say them in this way. Grow up. Respect is earned”

There was still the problem of moving my things out of the apartment, but through many calls, texts and the effort of both my friends and my family, I had help both economically and physically to move all my stuff out. We had been promised that the apartment would be clean and ready to be packed and moved, so to speak, as she was going to “switch back” to the smaller apartment.

However when we arrived it was......... I don’t even know how to describe how nasty it was. Unwashed dishes (MY dishes), rotten food and trash, dirty floors, dirty laundry and it was damn near impossible to move around in there. Luckily they weren’t there when we arrived, but I had my key, AND we had been in contact with the couple we had switched apartments with, who were now supposed to move into that... mountain of garbage. They had apparently also been lied to and used while I was away in Denmark.

When They - the ex - finally came, they threw a fit, and I literally nearly attacked them. Not because they were there, per se, but because they threatened my mother. They treated my mom just like they had that day, they were threatening and downgrading and kept telling my own mother that I was “A worthless excuse for a human being, and I honestly can’t imagine anything more nasty than your daughter”

This is where my mother grew in my eyes. If I ever doubted that my mother loves me, or is proud of me, it changed in that very moment. Because I got to see my mother - my daint little ladylike mother - stand up to my abuser and command the entire fucking room.

“You can think whatever you want, but there is nothing in this world I’m more proud of than my daughter, so take that attitude, stick it somewhere, and get out of my face so we can pack our stuff and finally get you out of our lives”

Let me tell you, those hours of packing were long. All the while, we had my abuser going around and at every possible moment they insulted me. Thanks to mom’s outburst earlier however, my hate for Them simmered down to a cool form of disgust, so I didn’t take any form of provocation from them. Not even when they sat next to me and just spewed insult after insult.

“What’s wrong with you?” “Dunno” “Like seriously - what’s wrong with you” “Dunno” “There has to be something cause you’re so pathetic that I almost feel pity for you” “Mhm. So this box of things is mine right?”

It pissed them off quite a lot. There was also a real threat from our side that if they escalated things or kept being threatening, we WOULD call the police. Let me tell you, there were some close calls - Especially when they dropped a box full of stuff on my mom’s back.

But then we could leave. We were done. I blocked them on my phone and I will never look back.

---

That................. Became a longer post than even I expected honestly.

But after all that - How am I doing now?

So. Much. Better.

Not only has my relationship with my mother improved, not only am I free to live my life and by my own rules, but I have also come to the genuine realization that I’m not single because I am not worthy of love, but because I’m WORTH waiting for something good. Until that comes along however, if it ever does, I’m WORTH being happy and living my life for ME!

I live in a room in my aunt’s place, and honestly it’s so damn cozy? It’s cheap and worth it, I feel safe, there are cats, my cousins are here sometimes and honestly my aunt and I get along great!

The only remaining issue is that of Hanzo, which I’m looking into more properly, ergo “Will I need a lawyer? Is my case strong enough?” - Not to have him live with me, but to have him live with someone who can afford bringing him to the vet, buy him food, and NOT having him live in a filthy home with rotting trash and food everywhere.

Overall I like to look at this experience like a REALLY nasty bout of having to clean out the shower drain.

Cleaning the shower drain is nasty, and it doesn’t matter how many layers of protection you wear - It’s still gross. It smells, and the filth can be hard to get rid of, especially if it’s sewage that’s been stuck for a bit and had time to grow. Even when the procedure is done and the clog has been flushed down the toilet, one feels rather nasty and grimy and as though one will never be clean. But ALAS! After a shower, or twelve, that nasty feeling is gone and now that the drain has been cleaned, the water flows freely - clean - and natural. And everything feels so much better.

My abuser is that clog, but they have been flushed away - Cleaned up, the water flows freely, and I feel like a new person.

I haven’t even taken my anti-depressants for a couple of days and felt NOTHING!

---

TL;DR: Even though this was my second abusive relationship, I’m safe and happy now. I love living - I love breathing - I love studying!

Even though flashbacks might occassionally haunt me - Even though words will occassionally come back to sting - I will not let them stop me in my life.

Thank you for reading <3 I’m done now <3 I promise

#personal #tw: abuse #tw: physical abuse #tw: mental abuse #tw: mental illness #tw: threat of suicide #tw: threat of self harm #tw: abusive relationship

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dead--girls--club · 5 years ago

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I keep having dreams about the dead

To clarify, not every dead person, I mean family members.

It stared with my grandpa (he’s me step grandpa but that doesn’t really matter) he passed away August 1st 2018, a week later I had a dream of the last memory I had of him where he was coherent and understood most things. And it wasn’t like, in first person, it was like I was spectating of observing everything I did that day. When I feel asleep in my dream I woke up.

It happened again with my grandma (I wasn’t very close to her) but my last memory of her was thanksgiving 2018.

And now the most recent is my cousins husband, he’s almost always been in my life but we aren’t related. The dream was the last conversation I had with him, which was January of 2018. It’s all just really weird.

My grandpa died at 6:30 am, I woke up at that same time to what I thought was my mom sitting on my bed, but no one was there. I fell back asleep and woke up at 8 am to my mom telling me my grandpa had passed.

The night before my grandma died I had one of the worst nightmares ever. In my dream my mom and dad came into my room to tell me my grandma passed, but they wouldn’t tell me which one. They just kept saying “she’s gone hun” and shit like that. It got to the point where I was yelling at them to tell me but they wouldnt.

When I found out my cousin was getting a divorce, I knew something bad was going to happen, but I couldn’t figure out what, or even why.

Is this like a 6th sense or something? Should I take these as a warning?

#dead #ghosts #desd relatives #paranormal #dreams #nightmares #premonitions #help

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wroteasongabouther · 7 years ago

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fratboy!harry - part 17

so basically this was just going to be a blurb explaining alex and his relationship with y/n but it turned out to be like 5k words and good enough to be an official part so yeah enjoy lol -- give me feedback too!!

fratboy!harry tag >>> story page >>> pinterest inspiration board

The morning was quick and loud, reminding you of when you were just a kid - right down to Bailey being stuck to your leg the whole time. Only thing missing was Luke. Nagging you to get out of the shower, to stop playing your crappy Bieber music too loud, and you nagging him for a ride to school while he steal your sandwich so you have to make a new one. That all stopped during your senior year of high school, yet sometimes it felt like just yesterday. Especially today as you drive your mom’s car just out of town to your dad’s house where he’s obviously still asleep as you pound on the front door.

Luke’s death only added onto the crap your dad was going through in life. Mom left him, got married and had another kid, then your grandparents died so he took their house for himself here surrounded by green forest, and then Luke passed. It broke him. You frown while leaning over to hit the doorbell again.

“Dad,” you call through the door.

You hear some mumbling before the front door opens up and reveals your father. A smile tugs on your lips at the sight of him, you’ve missed him. Dressed in an old tshirt and flannel pajama pants, he wipes sleep from his hooded hazel eyes and stares at you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asks, confusion on his face as you walk into his house.

“Dad,” you sigh, “we talked last month, I texted you yesterday after I landed,” you exclaim while setting your bag down on the couch. You don’t miss the few dirty dishes on the coffee table or the open bag of chips on the far side of the couch. Still a mess it seems.

“Oh, right, right,” he mumbles and shuts the front door. “Let me just get dressed really quick, make yourself at home,” he calls while making his way back upstairs to where the master bedroom was located in the small home.

When you were like five years old, your parents had bought the house your mom currently lived in. It was a perfect home for a perfect family. Till the perfect family fell apart, the screaming and fighting and then the lawyers and packing. It was tough. Your dad lived in an apartment for the first year, it was small and cramped up, then your grandma died and one week later your grandpa did. Although you were sure your dad didn’t want to, he moved into his dead parents house and barely had time to remodel the old people feel to it. But you liked it, it was good for him.

After about ten minutes of scrolling on your phone, looking through Instagram and Snapchat, you dad reappears and offers you some coffee. You turn around on the couch and watch him walk through the dining room into the small kitchen.

“I’m alright, thanks though,” you say.

“I was thinking,” your dad pauses as he enters the room with a fresh mug of coffee after a minute, “we should invite Alex although today,” he smiles.

“Uh,” you pause and shrug a shoulder, “sure,” you nod.

“You know, him and his family had me over for Thanksgiving,”

“Yeah, he mentioned that,”

“You guys still talk?” Your dad raises a brow.

“Not like that dad,” you chuckle, “not anymore,” you add while picking at the loose thread on your jeans.

“Why not? You and Alex were good, you know what they day distance makes the heart grow fonder,” your dad says. You give him a small smile but shake your head at him. “Oh come on, kiddo, the guy still loves ya. Don’t think he ever hasn’t, even after Luke’s warning,” your dads smile doesn’t reach his smile this time. Mentioning Luke still felt like a knife to the chest. But his statement add to the ache in your chest. You had Harry now, not that your father knew just yet, but something told you when you mentioned it he was gonna frown and go off on how perfect Alex was for you.

“I’ll shot him a text,” you say and pat his knee as he drinks his coffee.

hey i’m in town, my dad wants to know if you’d like to join us for breakfast??

Hey! Sure, what time?

probably like 30ish minutes, at iHop?

By the shore?

yes

Kk meet you guys there

“Lucky for you,” you pause and look at your dad, “Alex actually woke up a decent time today,”

“Oh good, it’ll be just like before ya left,” he smiles before standing up and disposing of his mug in the kitchen. You force another tight smile while standing up from the couch and gathering your purse and your moms keys again.

“We should get going, did you want to drive?” you ask your dad.

“Sure,” he nods and finds his own keys on the mess of the coffee table. “Meant to clean this up last night,” he mumbles, but you are well aware he’s lying.

Driving in your dad’s work truck takes you back to your younger days. When you’d push in your Jonas Brothers CD, crank it loud, roll down the window and catch your dad singing along with you. Of course that would all stop once you guys picked Luke up from hockey practice and he winced till you turned off your music. Now, you sat in the front seat looking out the window at the ferry boats on the sea and enjoyed the bit of silence between your two.

“The kid beat us here,” your dad bellows as he passes the hostess and sees Alex seated at a table by the window.

You turn away from the smiling hostess - whom you recognized from school, maybe a year younger than you - and look to where your dad was walking off to. Alex stands from his seat as your dad approaches him. He’s wearing some blue jeans, white shirt and a grey zip up sweater over top - and you can tell he’s definitely been working out.

“Hey coach,” Alex grins while embracing your dad in a hug. As he is, he looks over your dad shoulder at sees you. You can’t help but blush under his stare.

“Oh quit calling my coach, would ya,” your dad teases him as their embrace comes to an end.

“You coached him since he was just a kid, dad,” you say while stepping forward and rolling your eyes at him. Your dad simply judges you before taking his seat. “Hey,” you smile at Alex.

“Hey,” he breathes out.

“Give me a hug,” you chuckle. As you wrap your arms around Alex’s torso and his fall around your too, you feel a sense of familiarity. This was what your later high school years were like, hugging Alex and smelling his musky cologne. He was your first love, and you never forgot a thing about your first love.

The hug ends, you smile up at Alex, then take a seat next to your dad while Alex sits across the table from the both of you. He really hadn’t changed that much in the few months since you’ve seen him last. But there’s a pang in your chest as he sits there, across the table from you, and you can’t really explain why you get that feeling. Alex was great, both as a person and to you. He had been best friends with Luke since they were just kids, became pretty much attached at the hip through their years growing up, which meant you saw a lot of Alex. It started off as some stupid little crush on the smiley brown haired messy boy. Then one day, he brushed his hand against yours in the bathroom between yours and Luke’s room, and the look in his eyes told you that he liked you too.

As your dad had pointed out earlier, Luke had warned Alex off as you got older and he noticed his best friend taking a liking to his little sister. But that didn’t stop Alex from asking you to be his date to his senior prom. Luke acted as though he hated it, but then he said he was sort of happy it was someone he trusted dating you instead of some other douchebag. Things weren’t always easy with you and Alex, but they lasted up till the winter of your senior year. He broke it off and the next time you saw him he had a black eye courtesy of your lovely big brother.

“How’s school?” Alex asks after the waitress takes your orders.

“It’s good, I aced my midterms, but let me tell you calculus freaking sticks,” you exclaim before taking a sip of your water.

“Always been the smart one,” your dad says, obviously not catching what he had said as he looks at the smaller promotion menu. But you and Alex catch it, looking at each other with tight smiles. Luke barely graduated. He and Alex skipped more classes than they’d like to admit. While you were a straight A student and your parents loved to brag about it.

“Thanks dad,” you say, “anyways, how’s school for you?”

“It’s fine, school sucks, you know,” Alex shrugs.

“You’re done upgrading, right?”

“Yeah, next semester I can start taking college courses,”

“Maybe you can go to Arizona State with Y/N,” your dad smiles.

You widen your eyes at the seriousness in your dads voice. He truly was the biggest fan of yours and Alex’s. He was just as heartbroken about your two breaking up as you were. You swear he had been playing the damn wedding already.

“I, uh,” Alex chuckles and his gaze falls to the table for a quick second, “I don’t know about that one, coach,”

“You’re telling me you never once thought about ASU? Especially with how much Luke mentioned it,” you dad says. You gaze down at your glass of water at the mention of your brothers again. Even after all this time, just hearing his name aloud makes your chest hurt.

“Exactly, ASU was always Luke’s plan, it was never mine,” Alex shrugs.

“Yeah, and you know I’m always the one stealing Luke’s ideas,” you joke, nudging your dad harshly with your elbow. He chuckles, nudging you back and your heart nearly bursts at the interaction. He seems better, which lets you finally breathe again instead of worrying about him all the time.

Your food is brought out to the table then, your mouth waters at the sight of your waffles covered with enormous glops of whipped cream and lots of strawberries. The moment the plate is placed in front of you you’re cutting a big bite and stuffing it into your face. It’s not till you’re half way through chewing, cutting off more and lifting it to your mouth, that you see Alex watching your every move.

“What?” you question, covering your mouth since it’s still full of food.

Alex just chuckles and shakes his head, “haven’t changed a bit,” he says.

“Shut it,” you narrow your eyes.

Some more conversation about life goes on through bites of food. Alex talks about his job, your dad chats about how his company is doing and the yard work he wants to get done. Of course Alex is a sweetheart and offers to give him a hand. The laughter and smiles, sitting with your dad and your ex boyfriend who’s still a great friend to you, this was exactly what you had hoped for this morning.

“Hey, tell me about that boyfriend of yours,” Alex teases as you all pick at the last bites on your plates. You nearly choke on your water, which only makes Alex’s smile grow.

“Boyfriend?” your dad questions, his voice both confused and upset. There goes his hopes and dreams of getting you and Alex back together.

“Uh, yeah,” you nod and set down your water, “his name is Harry,” you state.

“Had no idea you were seeing anyone,” your dad says.

“It’s been a few months, and you know when I told mom she wasn’t all that excited. Guess I just forgot to mention it to you,” you shrug.

“So, what’s he like?” you dad asks, having a bite of toast before looking to you. This was so weird. Talking about your current boyfriend with your ex boyfriend and your dad who didn’t really talk to your about your life. It was just weird.

“He’s great,” you nod, “he’s from the UK, studies computer sciences, is really sweet, treats me nice, an amazing soccer player,” you list off some things worthy enough to share with your company.

“Sounds like a decent guy,” your dad nods.

“Yeah,” Alex nods in agreement, “from your Snapchat stories and things, he seems really nice, Y/N,” he gives you a small smile.

“He is,” you mirror his smile. Then when you turn back to your dad who’s staring back at you, you feel like a little girl again as you pull out your phone and unlock it. “Wanna see a picture of us?”

“Sure,” he chuckles as you lean into your dad and bring up a photo you had of you and Harry on your camera roll. It’s in his Range Rover, you lifted the camera up high and snapped the photo one day as he stopped at a red light - turning to smile for the camera without a question before driving again. It makes you smile, totally forgetting about your first love sitting across the table.

Your dad pays for the whole bill, which Alex fuses over for a minute before you simply give him a look while getting up from the table. He pouts out a bottom lip and mouths ‘sorry’, and you swear you’re having deja vu - only this time you don’t walk up into his big chest and kiss his pouty lips.

“You know,” Alex pauses to hold the door open for the three of you, “you should come hangout tonight, we’re gonna drink at Stephan’s and then go out to The Black Dog,” he explains.

You glance over to see your dad getting into his truck while the two of you stop directly in front of the truck. A piece of you wants to say yes, but then another piece of you wants to say no. You run a hair through your hair and tug your cardigan around your body as a cold breeze blows by.

“Come,” Alex urges you.

“Okay, okay,” you chuckle. “Just text me later about it, my dad’s waiting,”

“Feels like I’m 18 again,” Alex smirks.

You roll your eyes and chuckle again, “I know what you mean,” you say.

“See you later,” he says, bringing his arms around you for a quick hug before you’re walking over to your dads truck and jumping in.

This morning went well, you think as your dad drives you two back towards his place. But now all you can think about was how tonight was going to go. Maybe agreeing to hangout with Alex and his friends, who were only yours because you were dating him and Luke was your brother, was a mistake. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.

“Oh shut up!”

“Yeah we missed you so much, it’s so great you’re back!”

“Oh, thanks,” you shrink back in the couch at Stephan’s house as Mary and Jill sit on either side of you, grinning since you arrived claiming there was too many guys around. They had been friends with Alex and Luke through high school, always the two girls that actually stuck around till you showed up upon the start of yours and Alex’s relationship. Then you two broke up and you rarely saw these two - till Luke passed away and your world took an entire 1-80.

Some people handle grieving well and you thought that you would be one of those people. Never did you think that you’d end up drinking your sorrows away, sleeping with your ex boyfriend again repeatedly and getting tattoos scattered over your body to reflect the pain you felt inside of you. But one day you sucked it all up, shipping yourself off to ASU and got your shit together - leaving everyone in Seattle behind.

“Here,” Alex walks up, his leg bumping into your knee, staring down at you while passing you an unopened cooler.

“Thanks,” you smile before he walks away again to where the boys were all hanging out.

“You know,” Mary pauses while leaning closer to you, “Alex really hasn’t dated anyone since you,”

“Yeah we’re pretty sure he’s still hung up on you,” Jill nods.

“Oh,” you breathe out, cracking open the cooler while glancing across the room where Alex stood. He looks over his shoulder and catches your stare, smiling before turning back to the guys and engaging in their conversation again. You shake your head and tilt your drink back to have a good hefty sip. You weren’t into Alex anymore, yeah a piece of you would always love him but that was because he was still your friend and he was Luke’s best friend throughout his entire life pretty much. But you weren’t in love with Alex anymore. You were pretty sure Harry filled that place in your heart now.

The bar sucked as much as it did when you were under aged and showing your fake to get in. You did have some fun on the small dance floor, Snapchatting some videos onto your story - you’d dance with the girls, lift up your drink and then smile at the camera before posting it. By midnight you had enough drinks and were damn tired too.

“You alright?” Alex asks as he joins you at the bar where you had taken a breather. You were just checking who had looked at your story, noticing Harry’s name near the top. It was morning across seas now.

“Yeah,” you smile towards Alex and rest your cheek in the palm of your hand.

“Tired out?” He chuckles.

“Yeah,” you repeat, letting out a sharp breath to blow away a strand of hair that was in front of your face.

“You’re having fun, right?” Alex furrows his brows before taking a sip of his beer.

“I am,” you nod, “I party like this almost every weekend now, don’t ya know, dating a bloody fratboy,” you chuckle and so does Alex at your shit British accent. Always liked to pull that one out while you were drunk.

“I’ve seen,” Alex says.

“Oh, speak of the devil!” You smile as you catch Harry’s name and face on the screen of your phone. Picking it up, you swipe your finger across the screen and lift it to your ear while plugging the other to block out the music and sounds around the bar. “Hey!” you say with utter excitement. You missed Harry.

“Hey,” he echoes, his voice less excited though.

You hold up a finger to Alex and walk towards the front doors of The Black Dog. “What’s up?” You ask.

“Just laying in bed,” Harry all but sighs out.

“Oh, another one of these calls, huh?” You tease.

“You’re drunk,” he states.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, “I’m just out with some old friends,” you add.

“Saw that,” he mumbles. Something was up, even in your drunk state you were catching onto his uneasy tone and short answers. You sigh and lean against the brick wall, shivering as the cold temperatures of Seattle hit you - you were only wearing a tube top and high waisted jeans. Not exactly ideal with the winter weathers here.

“What’s wrong?” You ask in a quiet voice, aware of the fact one of Alex’s buddies is smoking a few feet away from you.

“Nothing,” Harry answers.

“Really?�� You’re annoyed now. “Just tell me what’s wrong, H,” you say.

“Who’s the guy? You’ve been Snapping him all day in your story,” he grunts. You recall Alex being in your snap of your waffles this morning, and then during the pre drinks at Stephan’s he was in the shot of you all lifting your drinks into the air. Finally there was the selfie you posted of you two, both puckering up for the camera just moments ago before you sat at the bar.

“My friend from home-“

“That’s rich,”

“You’re not even going to let me explain, really?” You shout out, Alex’s friend looks towards you now. You try to ignore him as he puts out his cigarette and walks back inside to leave you alone to shout at your boyfriend in peace.

“I’m supposed to just believe you’ve been drinkin’ and having breakfast with some old friend and that’s it,” Harry shouts back at you.

“You’re supposed to trust your damn girlfriend Harry!” You say, wanting to kick at the wall or throw your phone from the amount of anger pulsing through you.

“How do you think I feel waking up and watching my girlfriend with some guy I have no idea about, huh?” His voice is a bit quieter but it’s still laced with anger.

“Fine, want to know who Alex is?” Your stomach twists and turns from the frustration you’re feeling and maybe the ton of liquor you’ve had to drink too. “Alex is my ex, ok? He was a childish crush turned into my first fucking love, alright? He means a lot to me and is still one of my best fucking friends because-“ you swallow your words as you’re about to blabber on about how you’d always keep Alex as a friend because that’s what your brother would want. Telling Harry about Luke like this wasn’t how you wanted to tell him.

“Please, keep telling me about how much you still love you’re bloody ex boyfriend, little bird,” Harry hisses out the nickname like it’s venom on his lips. It breaks your heart.

You don’t respond right away, instead you breathe in till your chest feels tight and your eyes are watering. This was not how you wanted your night to go. A few tears fall down your cheeks as all the emotions you’ve felt the past twenty four hours hits you. Everything with Luke and with Alex and now Harry, it was too much.

“Y/N,” Harry’s voice is softer after the moment of quiet through the phone.

“Yeah,” you hiccup out the response.

“Y/N,” you turn around and see it’s Alex calling out your name this time. Harry stays quiet while you stare at Alex, keeping the phone pressed to your ear. “Did you want to go home?” He asks, eyes as soft as you needed them to be.

You nod at Alex, your bottom lip quivering as he steps closer. “I’ll call you later, Harry,” you say into the phone before hanging up and stepping into Alex’s open arms.

“Hey, hey, shhh, it’s okay,” Alex comforts you as you sob into his chest. Thank god he had changed into a black vneck instead of a white shirt so you didn’t stain it with your mascara.

“I—I can’t go home, Alex,” you gasp for air while the uncontrollable sobbing continues. You feel your phone buzzing in your jean pocket as you cry into Alex’s chest. With Harry’s words still fresh in your mind and the thoughts of Luke, you feel like you can’t breathe. You’d also blame it on the liquor. “His room is right there and I haven’t gone in yet and I want to but it’s too much-“ you break out into more sobs as you explain yourself to Alex.

“It’s okay, you can stay at my place if you want,” he mumbles into your hair as he hugs you. His body heat warms you up immediately.

“O—okay,” you hiccup.

Alex drops his arms from around you, only to grab ahold of your hand as you wipe your face with your other and he hails down a taxi. The two of you both get into the back seat and he gives the driver an address while he rubs his thumb on the back of your hand. You still feel like crying, but you can’t in the back of a taxi that’d be an all time low. You inhale sharply and then let out a sigh as your phone buzzed again. Alex tugs your arm gently till you are leaning against him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“It’ll be on debit,” Alex says as the taxi pulls up to his apartment building. Same place he’s lived at since he moved out after graduation.

You remember how Luke wanted to move out too but your mom told him he could live rent free and live his life as he wanted to since he was an adult as long as he was still respectful. He was of course, being her favourite child as always. Luke would crash on Alex’s couch some nights - he only slept over once when you had and that next morning was awkward enough to start communicating of when you’d be there overnight or not. Then you two broke up and Luke spent more time at home too. But of course bros will be bros and the bruise barely healed before they were cool again.

“Did you want anything?” Alex asks as he opens the door of his place. He leaves you behind in the small living room as he walks into the even smaller kitchen. “Water?”

“Please,” You croak out. Alex returns with a glass of water and hands it to you. You don’t waste a second before drinking half of it.

“Thirsty, hey?” Alex jokes.

“Yeah,” you hum. Your head hurts already, seems your hangover as arriving early since your boyfriend started a fight from over the ocean and you finally broke down about your brother in god knows how long.

“What happened back there? Seth came in, said you were shouting at someone on the phone,” Alex states.

“It was stupid, we’ll get over it tomorrow,” you mumble before finishing off your glass of water. “Always do,” you echo the words that were once said by Jess from the last fight you and Harry had.

“I think I have something for you to sleep in,” Alex says, respecting the fact you didn’t want to get into the conversation that was your boyfriend being a jealous dick. You follow him down the hallway to the bedroom, as he flicks the light on you see it’s recently been cleaned. Years ago you would’ve cleaned up around this apartment, done dishes and laundry downstairs with the coins he’d leave around.

“Thanks,” you whisper out as Alex sets down some old sweatpants and a tshirt on the bed.

Alex stands up straight, looking at you for a long moment. You keep the eye contact for much longer than you would’ve if you hadn’t been drinking tonight. He sighs and takes a step towards you, with his closeness you feel your chest tighten up.

“You were my first love too, you know,” Alex says softly as he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

He had heard the end of your call with Harry. Your cheeks heat up instantly, causing Alex to chuckle. His smile is genuine and makes your lips tug upwards too. His hand cups the side of your face, he brushes the pad of his thumb just close to your lips and your skin tingles from the contact. For a moment you’re seventeen again and falling in love for the first time. But then as you notice Alex’s eyes drifting downwards, you snap back to reality - where you’re falling in love with someone else who’s currently in the UK and upset with you. You sigh and step out of Alex’s touch.

“I think I love Harry now,” you blurt out aloud of the first time.

“You don’t think so, Y/N,” Alex pauses as your eyes find his again and he shows you a small smile, “you love him, so tell him. Trust me, it’ll make the mans life a lot better,”

You nod your head, unsure of how to respond to him. There’s more behind his words. A hint of jealousy even. You swallow hard and look away from his stare again.

“You uh,” Alex pauses and you glance up at him, “you can sleep in here, I’ll take the couch,”

“I’m sorry,” you say.

Alex forces his smile, “it’s okay, just-“ he stops to think about his next words, “you’ll always be my best fucking friend too, Y/N,” he grins. You chuckle and shake your head at him before he walks towards the door.

“Goodnight,”

“Night, sleep tight,” he says before shutting the door behind him.

It’s not till you’re dressed in the clothes Alex had left for you, swimming in both the top and bottoms cause they’re so big, that you look at your phone. There was four texts from Harry and one from your mom. You open your moms first.

Where are you?

I’m spending the night at Alex’s, be home in the morning.

You know she’s have a few words for you tomorrow. But that was a problem for then, when she could call you a slut to your face for all you cared. As you said before, Luke was her favourite kid and that didn’t change after his passing. She’s always complain about you and look down on you for any choices you made. Especially spending the night at your ex boyfriends house without any context.

How do you expect to me act when you act like this??

This is bullshit and you fucking know it… please try and think of a good lie to tell me when we talk later for you hanging up on me for your ex

You’re making me crazy

Sleep with him and we’re over

Tears spill down your face as you read over Harry’s texts. You turn off the bedroom light and slowly make your way into Alex’s bed - very much alone - while imaging how upset Harry must be. This wasn’t how you wanted things to be. You didn’t want to fight with him during the holidays, you wanted him to trust you and understand things but you knew you needed to explain the whole story for him to get why Alex meant so much to you. You just didn’t use the right words tonight, and you’d blame the liquor for that one.

As you read them for a tenth time over again, you feel anger this time. Did he really think you’d cheat on him? After all the shit with Lindsey and with him reacting how he did with Thomas? Your chest aches while you type out your response.

I’d never do that. Never. Just fucking trust me for god sakes Harry. I’m going to sleep now.

You want to type out so much more. You want to type those three burning words. But you know if you were to send back everything you’re feeling, the sadness and the hurt and the anger, it’s only add fuel to the fire at this point. You sigh and wipe away your tears before setting your phone on the pillow beside you and rolling over to try and sleep. Thing was, the sheets spent so much like him. Like your first fucking love and your brothers best fucking friend. Your fists curl up with the blanket in your hands as you squeeze your eyes tightly. Everything hurts again.

#fratboy!harry #duhh duh duhhhuhuhuhuh #not so smooth sailing for the lovely couple #next chapter will be out friday as planned :))#you're welcome for the extra unplanned part lol #TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS THO #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagines

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