#without too much suffering
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Trick or treat!
The leaves turn red As the cat paws at the lake Seeking that damned fish
#your eorzean fishing adventures bring me joy#i hope you catch every last one of those wriggly bastards#without too much suffering
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
320 notes
·
View notes
Text
Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
221 notes
·
View notes
Text
to complement this post
I think the red hair pirates would be obsessed with S-Hawk too! Especially the main group who've known Mihawk through his teenage marine hunting phase.
Benn would know they are walking on thin ice but look at him! He’s a little baby Mihawk! Look at his little uniform shirt tucked into his little shorts. Every angry and threatening expression s-hawk could make would mean nothing to a crew that has seen the real thing live and in color. It would just be adorable like look at his little frown! His glare! The threat of disembodiment in his eyes! Adorable
Mihawk is very uncomfortable with how much the red hair pirates fawn over and adore what is essentially a manufactured baby him. But yet also somehow touched? By it. He’ll kill everyone and then himself before he admits it tho
Yasopp, who actually did know a shorter 19 year old Mihawk, would ask him if he was that adorable but tiny (still can't comprehend that the seraphim are infact giant) as a child and if he had any pictures, and Mihawk almost takes his head.
#Mishanks#something about people being kind to the younger version of yourself when you haven’t known much kindness#I think it’s also a-hawk has his exact temperament maybe even worse cause he doesn’t even really speak#but they like him because of that not inspire of it which means they’ll probably like him too if he’ll let them.#little does he know they already do and lucky roux yasopp and Benn adore him#benn would have to repeatedly explain that that is a murder robot and not a baby bird#I think they should by whatever miracle find pictures of an actual baby mihawk and they hang it on the fridge next to Luffy's wanted poster#throwing thoughts to the void#I do like desperately need S-Hawk and Mihawk to meet#I hope they do because I’m so interested in how the warlords would react to that#like there’s a younger version of you that was created without your knowledge or permission#it’s essentially a mirror to your childhood that suffers all on it own and you’re told it has no autonomy#but you can see the hints of a personality they are trying to suppress#red hair#red hair shanks#red haired shanks#red hair pirates#red haired pirates#dracule mihawk#hawkeye mihawk#akataka#mihawk x shanks#seraphim#one piece seraphim#one piece memes#one piece funny#op#one piece#shitposting#s hawk
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man, the Mr. Darcy vibes are too strong here
#SAME EXPRESSION#this man is secretly suffering for love and we all know#well let him suffer#at least a bit#what is a good enemies to lovers without a man crying inside because he loves that woman too much and hates to repress his own feelings#jason mendal#mcl jason#mclng#my candy love new gen#mcl
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
SO YOU’RE TELLING ME. THAT. THATS NOT RED EYELINER????????
THATS A TATTOO???????? WHAT THE FUCK WHY?? WHAT WAS THE REASON?
#was red eyeliner too much of an expense? does it rub off too much in games?#because I refuse to believe he got the tattoo without knowing that the look absolutely slays#give all my suffering to him please#bllk#blue lock#micheal kaiser
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)
#spoondoodles#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#ts sides#tss#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#I am here!!! for the platonic relationships!!!!! in this AU!!!!!!!#i have a strong character arc in my head about platonic logicality growing up together as childhood friends you have no idea asdfghj#i think they were very dependent on each other for many years so much so they'd copy each other but they're much more independent in HS#only remnant of that is that they have the same glasses + emotionally vent to each other a lot - their friends circle has grown enough#they don't live in each others' pockets anymore. roman + janus met in theatre + are gossip besties like they just talk shit together#(not completely sold on janus' design yet ngl i'm not happy with how i drew the vitilego but i'm working on it)#remus + logan are partners in chemistry in a classic teacher act of putting the 'disruptive' kid next to the 'good student' kid in hopes#that logan would stop remus acting out. predictably what happened instead is that they're friends now + remus is still as disruptive#but in a way that entertains logan so they get their work done early. now the teacher can't separate them. lol lmao.#remus knows ALL. but has been sworn to secrecy so can't say shit. janus knows roman's feelings but only suspects logan's.#patton didn't even have to be told by logan he just KNEW + is choosing not to speculate on roman's feelings b/c he's too polite.#virgil isn't here but that's b/c he also KNOWS without being told + is in an even more precarious position than remus. if they were#on better speaking terms he'd commiserate with remus. alas they are suffering separately.#anyway enough rambling from me. many thoughts head full.
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
biggest reason i want eve to be the one that holds alastor's leash along with other things :D she be a creepy bitch and would enjoy having powerful overlords under her control. she would call him 'bambi' affectionately :D excuse the awful sketch phase i have a vision-
#♔ ⎰ ❛ without mercy . ❜ ⧸ ⊰ out of char ⊱#my art <3#hazbin hotel#i want to make alastor suffer and eve be a boss ass bitch#she locked down an overlord and made him hate hell life- ya'll respect this pussy#the 'lilith' we've been seeing seems so eve coded i cannot ;-;#homegirl probably stole lilith or something and decided to take bambi too#funny thing is that i don't think eve would have much resentment to lilith#but she is connected to lucifer s o ooo
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seeing some pretty gross posts about Miguel, and... It's actually pretty important that Miles, an Afrolatino character, is both making friends with the younger generation of POC and in direct conflict with the older generation of POC. Like yeah Gwen and Peter B. are still important figures in his life for good and now also bad reasons, but it is Miguel and Jessica who he has an ideological conflict with. It is Hobie who in some ways takes over as a mentor and guide. Margo helps him escape. Pavitr is someone Miles himself helps and gives advice to. The antagonist is not Latino because they wanted to use stereotype shorthand to make everyone understand how dangerous he is, he is Latino because Miles is Latino. And surprise surprise this movie has a lot to say about-- not generational trauma per say, but community trauma. About what happens when shared trauma starts to define the boundaries of who is and who isn't a member of your community, rather than shared passions and shared dreams and shared missions.
#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#miles morales#across the spiderverse spoilers#media analysis#it's about the Themes#because. the reason my grandpa doesn't consider himself mexican is because he got out#he did the right and proper american thing and converted and worked his way out of poverty and married a white lady#so he's not mexican anymore he's american. because he doesn't live with the same trauma that the rest of his mexican family live with#and idk#i just think about that a lot#my grandpa is so proud of the way he assimilated#i've never heard him speak spanish#and i know there was a lot more too it and probably i'm reading too much into it#but for miles to say that he can be spiderman without having to suffer for it#that this is his identity not necessarily because he chose it but because he embraced it#and it doesn't have to be bathed in blood to matter...#hm#yeah#good stuff
331 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh I'm never going to stop being mad about the Manx syndrome that makes Manx cats manxes. It's an easily, Visually identifiable trait that causes the afflicted animal life long discomfort and mobility issues so severe many need specialized care and equipment to give them a normal life. And that isnt even taking into account how many die as kittens or who need to be put down because they'll never have the minimum quality of life needed to subject them to their difficulties.
there's 2 genes that can cause shortened tails/no tail in cats and while it's debatable how ethical the other one is, due to how important tails are for cat communication, the bobtail Gene is at least not devastating to the animals welfare. Unlike Manx syndrome it just causes the kittens to be born with fewer tail vertebrae. All the other vertebrae are unaffected.
Manx syndrome, in the more severe cases, which to be clear are the breed standard and are considered Desirable, cause the back half of the spine to fail to form correctly. This causes the cats to "hop like bunnies" bc their hind legs are partially paralyzed. they have severe nerve issues bc their spinal cord isn't fully encased in bone like it should be. The paralysis effects their guts too, making many of them incontinent or unable to relieve themselves properly. which leads to chronic UTIs and them needing frequent baths. which, they are cats, they do not like baths.
The main defense of the continued intentional breeding of manxes is that it is a naturally occurring mutation, as in its a landrace breed that initially happened on its own in the feral cat population on the island of mann. "if they were able to survive and reproduce under those conditions then surely it's ok" type of argument. A dominant trait spreading through a feral cat population on a small island that has no predators and plenty of small animal prey to eat, is not a defense. it's the law of large numbers.
#Prime was intentionally bred by a breeder who wanted to get rich selling manx cats nc they saw how expensive the kittens were#the kittens are so expensive bc many litters end up like Primes. with 3/5 kittens needing to be put down within weeks or days of being born#Of the two kittens who made it to 6months only Prime was ever deened adoptable. her brother had to stay at the manx specific shelter#and he only made it to a little over a year before he started suffering from kidney failure bc of the constant UTIs#he had perfect. Specialized care and as much resources and attention as he needed and he still didn't get to live his life#Prime's better off obviously but i still have to spend a lot of time on her care and she doesn't get to be a cat in the same#way as her sisters#ie my other two cats who are just random bred shorthairs#cw animal cruelty#most of the sources about manx syndrome are in reference to it occuring randomly in livestock or humans#bc like#it is something that does just happen without any intentional breeding for the trait unfortunately#cats just handle it a lot better for their own reasons#' spina bifida' is the technical term but its called manx syndrome in other animals too
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her#but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son#just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead#so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options#that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive#thinking about it makes me go feral#they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible#and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too#but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye#percy jackson#sally jackson#pjo#hoo#percy and sally#percy jackon and the olympians#whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work#and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts#don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him#but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore?#and he knows that's not true but what if?#i'm thinking it#okay i think that's enough
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
Let's be real, with q!pac asking for q!bbh's advice on relationships there was no way fitpac wasn't doomed to angst
#qsmp#q!pactw#q!fit#q!bbh#q!badboyhalo#yes i am blaming fitpac angst on bbh and so should you#tubbo wasn't helping either but dude's already suffering too much without fred#hideduo#fitpac
94 notes
·
View notes