#without the whole persona
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#ok i’m clear on what i want to do#but where am i in all this#across my highschool years i’ve been like#crafting some sort of farce for myslef#intentionally or not#ultimately acting really zesty is what made me not be a massive loser#gossiping made me able to talk to people without being so incredibly awkward#but it’s like seeped into myself#when i go home when i sleep when i think i still think like that#but without all the farce#without the whole persona#what am i
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It is not what you do for me that makes me love you. It's your kindness. Your empathy. How much you care. Just being you is enough, Colin. I do not need you to save me. I just need you to stand by me. To hold me. To kiss me.
#bridgertonedit#bridgerton#polinedit#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#loved how colin came to terms with lw through pen's old letters#not hearing from her all summer sent him into such a tailspin that he had an identity crisis and invented a whole new persona#but rereading the letters he had missed made him realize that the part he wanted to separate from penelope was her all along#he had fallen in love with all of her without even knowing it#those letters and the lack of them were really the catalyst for his love for her#also how he admitted that his pride and ego got in the way because sometimes you can't help but struggle with feeling inferior#and unaddressed insecurities always come back#idk man#eight episodes of them telling each other you're enough you're good you're beautiful and i love you#mine
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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normalest gay person
#goro akechi#dawg i#persona 5#persona 5 fanart#fanart#art#wikoart#finished#i JUST got to the part where he isnt normal. i spent the whole first 60 so hours thiunking people were LYING to me#told my irl that my online friends said id go insane over him and he said Without a moment of hesitation that inwould#he is not insane in the way i expected at ALL dude#living for it tho. cant wait to finish the game 😭😭#I GOT THE BAD ENDING. and my life flashed before my eyes because WHAT THE HELL 😭😭 my persona fan friend was laughing so hard at me#p5#persona series
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Leo as a character is deeply tied to the very concept of identity that it is deeply ingrained into every aspect of his character and in this essay I will-
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rottmnt leo#no but I’m being so serious Leo and his struggles with identity are so prevalent in his story throughout the series#he’s a liar and a schemer and masks 24/7 and thinks he’s nothing without his family all while failing to establish himself outside of them#and it’s SO INTERESTING#like some of his main characteristics are his PERSONA and his SUBTERFUGE#pretty much the one interest he has that is not related to his family is magic tricks aka more persona and deception#one of the only times he goes off on his own is to get some rest and relaxation#and even then he HAPPILY changes a part of himself to even be allowed that#this is all also interesting in how he interacts with his family#he knows people and he’s good with words#his pep talks his goading they go hand in hand#and he’d rather people be annoyed or angry at him than be allowed to see the nothing he believes himself to be#Leo struggles with his identity because deception is the backbone of such a large part of it#and the other part is just him being a part of a whole#one part of a package set#his ego is built by putting on airs and is every bit as fragile as its foundation#I’ll probably add more tags later lbr I’m just so tied to Leo and Identity I could go on and on#AND ANOTHER THING but I also think for as much as Leo wants to prove himself an individual he is also TERRIFED at the thought of being known#Leo is a self sabotaging character who lowers people’s expectations as best he can on purpose
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DP x DC PROMPT
Jasmine Al'Ghul has her time divided into simple quarters.
Make sure Danyal Al'Ghul is well taken care of with the Fenton family ( no wonder anyone who bullies Danny or his friends end up missing [in this au]).
Teach and care for Damain Al'Ghul inside the league.
Train into becoming a better shadow and right hand for the next heir.
Complete missions for Ra Al'Ghul himself.
Fortunately, Taila has decided it would be for best for Jasmine to continue caring for Danyal as Damian goes to live with his father while she deals with the leagues problems and search for her missing father.
That means Jasmine will not be spending time with Damian during his ( sister time) six months. And he will realise that after she doesn't come after 8 months to his father's family/house.
Unfortunately for everyone, Damian refuses to live without his beloved elder sister, and will do anything to take her back.
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Now, do Damian and Danny hate each other for taking up sister time or do they love each other?
#Since Jazz is taught by the best.#Danny's accident will not happen#instead she makes sure the portal works without her getting hurt too#danny is taught by jazz how to assassin#so he defeats ghosts with technology while his siter takes care of stronger opponents#OR#jaz defeats ghosts by herself to ensure Danny's safety#Damian wants his big sister DAMIT#no taila he will NOT STAND FOR THIS#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#Bruce just wondering why damian is obsessed with this random civilian to the point of him creating a new bat persona for her#why is she the al ghuls whole family brain cell holder#because she reads self help books#duh
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#guess who has to get checked for fucking cancer#my silly and nonchalant persona cannot hide the deep worry I feel#my whole life I thought wow I sure would love to die without actually killing myself#the moment I don’t want to kill myself#cancer scare#my whole life has been a serious of cruel and ironic twists ‼️
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Shuada does hit a lot of the power imbalance issues that come with huge age gaps like that: one is bigger and stronger, one is more forceful and actively instigates the relationship whereas the other just awkwardly complies, one could easily manipulate the other with blackmail including potential for “I’ll tell everyone you’re dating someone like me,” etc
The funny part is it’s the underage teen that has all this power lmfao
#I admit the blackmail part is a little shaky#from what I hear the entire premise of the accomplice ending is they’re blackmailing each other into a partnership#or it might even be narukami would never do it’s only adachi that truly has blackmail#but still. I just think “btw adachi and I are dating” would get him banned from the dojima house and probably fired from the police force#plus the whole “I know adachi is the killer” angle#my favorite bit is that narukami could easily overpower adachi. that’s just really funny to me#“shipping him with an adult means he’s more vulnerable to abuse”#<- I just made that up idk if that’s an actual talking point but still. lemme indulge in my strawman for a minute#Narukami is like 5’11 has the healthiest habits and hobbies I’ve ever seen in a teen and spends his days battling monsters#5’9 adachi basically has a desk job and half his social link revolves around his shitty diet#Narukami could break that twink in half#figure 1: that anime screenshot of narukami carrying adachi bridal style without breaking a sweat#also do I really need to explain narukami hunting down his social link and dropping “I believe in us” speeches#while adachi just kinda goes along with it awkwardly. even acts all tsundere about whether their bond even exists#I just think narukami has that man wrapped around his finger. it’s quite fascinating tbh#persona 4#p4#adachi#narukami#adasou#shuada#tw age gap#toxic (affectionate)#tw power imbalance
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antónio guterres was considered persona non grata by israhell and the response of the portuguese ministry of foreign affairs to this was like "we are so sorry" and they "regret it" like..... HUH?
#the way this government licks their ass is CRAZY#instead of being like why tf did you do this when he said nothing that insane#but no they are ashamed and full of regret bc of his actions like???????#i don't like the guy that much let me be clear#but he didn't openly condemn the iran attack#and did one neutral statement saying that the middle east war should end#and there should be a ceasefire#and they felt so offended that they were like anyways you are persona non grata LIKE??? LMFAO#this whole situation just has question marks all around for me#and i fucking hate the un as one does#but if anything this makes isnotreal look bad once again#bc they get offended at the most neutral comments by people at the un#and all they are basically saying (without doing anything but anyways)#is saying they want this 'war' to end and a ceasefire#and they get offended????#do i need to say more but anyways#crazy stuff what is new#tris.txt
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I GENUINELY wish I understood the appeal of Taylor Swift I really really do. many of my friends do. but it's just. I don't think a single one of her songs has ever landed above 'ok' or 'nostalgically cheesy' for me and every time I think that I feel so incredibly like I'm trying to be snobby but I'm not? it's not about not liking pop or not liking the cool thing I love pop I love cheese I just also like music that has some...I guess energy and danceability or specific and meaningful rage and I have found nothing to hook into in anything she's made. Antihero nearly works for me. Blank Space works conceptually but not in practise. but other than that the last thing she made that did anything for me even as a throwaway pop song was. god it actually might be We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together or 22 which at least are catchy but I can't say ever made it to my playlists.
I want to get it, I genuinely do. I have listened to most of her releases at least once because I keep thinking if I try hard enough something will open up for me but nah however hard I try it's just extremely mid. like yes that certainly is music. I can immediately recognise it as Taylor Swift, it's not like it's utterly generic, but it absolutely just registers to me as background music. I want so much to understand what it is about her that makes her the biggest person in music for like 15 years now.
(I could say the same about Beyoncé who if anything lands worse for me. Break My Soul owns, but other than that I have landed everything I've heard of hers since like 2008 firmly in the Do Not Relisten pile it just lands like a ton of loose sand for me. and this is not mentioning the actual crime against music that was Jolene bc I don't think that worked for most people tbf. and again it's not that I don't like pop or r&b or rap cause that's like. between those genres about a third of the music I listen to. but her work is just so unengaging to me personally and I don't know why and I wish I got it)
#red said#~oh you just don't like things that are popular~ i LIKE liking things that are popular!#i like lizzo! i love lil nas x! i think billie eilish is amazing! i think I'm too old for olivia rodrigo but i get the appeal!#i think with taylor and possibly also beyonce though there's like a level of calculated pose that makes their music feel like work#like it doesn't. to me. feel like it connects because it feels like a product put together as a marketing persona#and not in a fun way like Katy Perry used to but like. Taylor Swift's music is extremely thought through. even the missteps.#and musically it feels really uninteresting and emotionally it feels like the IDEA of emotional relatability not any kind of insight#it's very middle of the road to me. even when it's taking risks it's not taking risks.#and tbf if i was gonna guess at why she's as popular as she is I'd say it's that. it's sustainable and marketable and well planned.#like Montero was a fucking phenomenal album because it was incredibly honest and creative. but tbh has Lil Nas X had the same impact since?#no not really bc he put EVERYTHING into that album and now tbh he's putting out new music that's fine but not earthshattering#whereas Taylor definitely knows how to market herself and how to change her brand incrementally without having to get more vulnerable#but like. her whole thing is kind of as a confessional singer songwriter vibe. which needs vulnerability and messiness#and to me it always sounds very very managed and very defensive and that is. flat.
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I wish I could stay in this house forever. I don't want to ever leave
(rules/muse list)
#indie rp#marvel rp#dc rp#comic rp#video game rp#anime rp#persona rp#mgs rp#horror rp#silent hill rp#mortal kombat rp#resident evil rp#fighting game rp#street fighter rp#pokemon rp#monster high rp#┄─ 🥀 * 𝐒𝐏 : i am not the ghost without a soul.#┄─ 🥀 * 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐔𝐄 : goin' to a party where no one's still alive.#┄─ 🥀 * 𝐎𝐎𝐂 : jolyne’s ted talks.#(hello i'm still working on bios soooo plese forgive me!!)#(this whole week i'll be working on that)
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outfit dump for my p5 arcanaswap ng+ au that @englishbreakfastandquills has been helping me with (read: listening to me ramble madly about for hours and occasionally providing input. thank you bestie <3)
#i love these all so much. i adore them#please ask me about my arcanaswap au im insane about it#you do not know what this thing has done to my brain#p5#rin draws stuff#designs! so many designs!#my favorites are akira & haru i think#but i love them all with my whole heart#fun fact like half of these are done without pen pressure#because my tablet cord BROKE HALFWAY THROUGH!#so i had to use my backup which does weird shit if it has pen pressure#persona 5#phantom shuffle au
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the reason i really liked astarion at first was bc it was so horribly obvious how much he was trying to win you over and failing at it. i've to admit it's easy to fall into the temptress vampire romance fantasy but that's literally the mask he puts on and the way he's been conditioned (and coerced) to act by cazador. him leaving all that acting behind means him being free for once. you can't ignore that. also you can't ignore the goofiness that seeps through when he is comfortable enough that man will literally go "rawr" unprompted
#i love astarion i miss him#anyway i notice this and didnt even play the game firsthand... how do ppl still miss this#the whole traumatised/goofy character who hides behind a seductive persona to win ppl over without many questions archetype#<- so good#see past that???? even better#lazutxt
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imagineing twilight sparkle listening to stay the night while thinking of her gay pony crush flutterhys im gonna fucking lose it
#spacie spoinks#shes the type of pony 2 have a whole ass fantasy in her head played out in perfect scenario heres what happens okay#she SCRIPTS THIS SHIT OUT!!!!!!!!!1#somepony anypony help me#fluttershy would play up her ''ooooh my so helpless and weak'' persona she knows she already has in order ta keep twilight around#''oh but twilight im so weak and helpless without you're help''#(((she is perfectly fine and very capable)))#im#IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THEM ALL DAY I NEEDTA DRAW SOMETHING OF THEM SOON
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missing my old ACOTAR fandom buddies so dearly tonight despite hating ACOTAR and the fandom and knowing that i chose to ghost everyone and it's a good thing i did. i just miss obsessing over rarepairs and talking about whatever stupid shit people were fighting over with people i really loved
#but i also created a whole fake persona for that account#cause i was a minor and yeah i wasn't giving out anything about me#that fandom is part of why i no longer know how to befriend mutuals though#cause how did i go from having a group chat with these people and planning to meet up and sending gifts to nothing#and ik with this account i'm being 10x more honest with myself and with others without yknow sharing too much but it's still scary#personal.txt
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wild what a difference a year makes bc now im utterly convinced that a central tenet of gilmore’s story is learning to be content with what you’ve got/a “small” life and not constantly chasing bigger ambitions and thereby being perpetually unhappy/burned out
#the other central tenet is one that i had DOWN and that’s the evolution from#i want to care for other people -> i can care for other people without destroying myself#* ooc.#i gotta rewatch his stream content and see if any of this holds up lmao#oh yeah and ofc before that the whole. artificial self-centred merchant persona that he learns to ease up on
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